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c00kiejar · 4 months

Text

This song...

I've never really made a proper post before, just shitposts and the occasional art thing. I want to make one to properly express how I feel right now and why this song represents it perfectly. I will warn you first, however, that this mentions a certain YouTuber who was recently completely destroyed on Twitter and my personal experience as a viewer, and may delve into some not-too-happy thoughts

Still here? Let's dive in

It all starts way back when I was still a kid. I was navigating the wonderful site known as YouTube, trying to find videos on videogames and, specifically, I think it was Super Paper Mario. I had no idea how to beat Chapter 2-3 (the Ruby debt one), and I needed help. That's when I stumbled across a YouTuber called Chuggaaconroy (a.k.a. Emile). The way he provided all the information I needed in one video was exactly what I needed. I couldn't subscribe to his channel because I didn't have a Google account, so I just periodically checked his channel, eventually learning he uploaded every day at 5 PM, perfect for younger me. I'd watch his videos when they came out, loving every single one. I eventually discovered his collab channel, The Runaway Guys, and loved that channel even more. He, Proton Jon (Jon) and NintendoCapriSun (Tim) entertained me for YEARS with their content. I even branched out into Jon's streaming community, becoming a semi-regular artist on the booru for a time (you can still find my stuff there under the name TehSm1tty. Not my best work, but I still like some of it). Years come and go, and I have my fair share of mental health troubles, but I'd always find Emile, Jon, and Tim there to brighten my days.

Fast forward to sometime last week. I've been pretty inactive on Twitter aside from my alts, but I decided to see what was popping on main. I log in and get recommended a post with the hashtag "WeStandWithChugga". I had no idea what was going on, so I looked into it. I won't go into detail here, but the jist of it is that Emile was a total creep to many women and even drove wedges between himself and good friends because of this weird behavior. There's a lot more to this than just that, but the point is that it shattered my view of him. I knew he was pushy and that always kinda annoyed me, but the extent of it broke me. For a few days now, I've been having a rough go of it. I mean, my childhood YouTuber just got outed as a complete creep and has some serious allegations of being at least a lolicon, at worst a pedo. I've been down and out for days, and it just wouldn't stop. That is, until I found out that Tim has a Reddit account. I never knew this (or, well, maybe I did and just forgot. Idfk), and was amazed to learn that Tim's been keeping Reddit updated on what he's able/willing to share. Turns out Emile's getting the help he needs at a legit mental hospital and that he's ok. That's what made everything stop. Hearing he's ok. After all the shit Emile has done, he's still a human being and doesn't deserve to have the whole internet turn on him in a fraction of a second. Hearing a fellow human is ok made me feel better. I'm not letting him off the hook, and I do not believe he should ever be forgiven for what he's done, but if he is willing to better himself and become a better person, I am more than willing to believe in that Emile.

Now to come to roughly 40 minutes ago. I decide to boot up Satisfactory and play a bit, but I have no idea what to listen to while I do. I put on a song but quickly get bored of it, and then I see "OMORI | Do You Remember? | Extended" in my recommendations. I put it on and instantly, as if I were splashed in the face by water, I wake up and feel better. I was still stressed about everything going on (I'm set to go to college in September, AND my folks are headed to Mexico in about a week, so I'm stressed from those too), but with the first note on the piano, everything faded. All my swirling negative emotions were replaced with a somber peace. I'm still hurt by the last week's revelations, and I'm never going to truly recover (who could?), but I'm moving on. I think my comment on the video describes how I feel best; "The sad yet peaceful feeling this song evokes in me... It's pretty much how I feel today. I feel at peace... or, well, mostly. There's still pain, and there always will be, but I can move on and I'll live. In the future, I'll look back on this last week and feel sad, but that'll be in the future when this is all over with for good, so I can also look back at before it and be happy that those good times happened. Nothing will ever be the same, but such is the way of the world. Saying goodbye is saying hello to the future, and we all need to do that eventually. Who knows what the future may hold? I, for one, can't wait to see. Hello future, and goodbye sadness".

Chuggaaconroy was an inspiration and a light in the sea of darkness for so, so many, and these revelations have snuffed the light he provided out. What I hope is that Emile takes a long, long break from the internet to become the person we all believed him to be, to truly become that bright light in the dark, rather than just another dark figure holding a flashlight. I don't hope for that as a supporter of him as I don't support who he is right now (as if I haven't said it enough), I hope for that as a fellow human who only wishes to see everyone become the best version of themself.

I think this post was exactly what I needed. I've finally gotten everything out in a cohesive (maybe?) and healthy manner, and I'm ready to become my best self. I will be beginning work on YouTube videos tomorrow, and will hopefully be posting Thursdays at 5 PM (in honor of DatPags whom has not uploaded in a long time).

To anyone who finished reading this post, thank you. From the bottom of my heart, thank you. Please, go become your best self, but do not do so by putting others down. Better yourself and acknowledge your flaws, overcome them, and do not repeat Emile's mistakes. Learn from those around you.

Yours truly,

Cookie_Jar of Tumblr dot com

#music #peaceful yet sad #twitter drama #youtuber #omori #moving on #the end of an era #chuggaaconroy #the runaway guys #trg

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trilobi-te · 5 months

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Chipspeech Twitter Archive Update

Hi I should have done this months ago.. I do not know when (or if) I am going to finish that website lmao. So I am just going to share my notes from Google Docs. Should be easier to read than the original posts and helpful as a starting point if anyone else decides to make a website :3

The documents are all on commenting mode so feel free to make comments to bookmark things for yourself or write your thoughts or whatever. Under the cut I have put some formatting notes.

It's a folder, each year of Twitter posts is its own document (I tried to compile them into one but it lagged too much). There is also a document with all of the original Tumblr posts (from the accounts I could find, no tags yet but I will go back and get them eventually, also no dates but they're all from 2015), and one with the bios from the official website for ease of access.

The formatting is a little (a lot) weird and there are probably pictures that need resizing/transcription but I figured it's better to give people access now. The text is small (to keep the page count as low as possible) so you will have to zoom in.

It goes by day, organized with a bulleted list. The top level bullets are each character that tweeted that day. The second level bullets are original tweets/retweets by that character. The third+ level bullets are comment threads under that tweet, the organization here is inconsistent but imo still readable (if you think something needs an edit for clarity let me know and I'll fix it).

For each character's section of the list, normal text is that character's tweets/comments. Italicized text is anyone who is not that character. If it is labeled with unitalicized text, it is that character/important account (e.g. the official Chipspeech account), otherwise it is a fan. I also included some labels and/or clarifying comments for Vocaloid producers I like, they're not central to the story though

I got rid of the line breaks within the tweets when copying them down because it was easier to format. Sorry about that. Idk how to fix it other than going through everything again but it doesn't take away from the story so I'm leaving it for now.

If something came from a website other than Twitter, I tried to provide the link (unless its content was deleted). I did my best to transcribe the Clyp posts that were not deleted.

If something is a text-only retweet, it is marked with [retweet]. If it includes an image, it's probably a screenshot of the whole thing. I only included retweets that felt story-relevant (so no miscellaneous cat pictures, Apple-related aesthetic images, etc.), but if people really want it I can go back and add the rest.

Deleted tweets are noted with [deleted tweet], with the characters they came from if applicable. Idk how Twitter works but it the person in the thread is replying to the username of a certain character, I assumed it was that character's tweet that had been deleted. If something says [deleted Dandy thread], assume there is a deleted Dandy tweet in between each of the listed tweets (or another character, but it's usually Dandy). That was meant to be a temporary time-saver and I've gone back and fixed the ones I've found, but there's probably more I accidentally skipped.

Anything not in English is translated in a comment. Except the X-Sampa (I will fix that sometime but there's not much of it). Also it was done with the built-in Google Translate feature so it may be a little incorrect. Unclear pictures and whatnot also have clarifying comments. I can add more clarifying comments (or image IDs) if anyone needs them.

I tried not to include any unattributed fanart but there are some that I forgot to copy the handle for (I am also fixing these when I find them).

As for any future updates to this folder as a whole, I kind of want to go back through each account's liked tweets to see if there's anything funny in there but idk when that will be. That would probably be its own document.

Honestly I should have given everyone access back in June.. oops. If you have any questions you can put them in a comment on this post (or reach out to me another way, idk). As I mentioned before, feel free to use all of this as a starting point if you're making your own website.

I'll pin this post so it's findable in the future. Also sorry for disappearing for several months (it will happen again).

#chipspeech #chipspeech archive #posts by the bug

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cant-get-no-worse · 6 months

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helllooo

what are your thoughts on scaloni having doubts about his future in the national team ? what do you think is going on ?

love your takes they’re always so well put together

Hii Ro 🫶In the 7 hours it took me to answer, a plethora of information more or less clearing up what happened appeared on twitter sooo... but since I had 2 or 3 other asks about it I'll take the opportnity to round things up briefly for people unaware of the general situation! I'm in no way an expert btw, this is just what I understood/lived as an expat arg and got from my arg side of the family.

So as per Gastón & other news outlet, Scaloni (perhaps some other members of the technical staff of the Argentine NT as well) has had a problem with the AFA for some time now. If we had to resume state of affairs :

The AFA (Argentine Football Association) show

Governing institution of football in the country which would deserve a fourth star of its own for its spectacular dedication to worsen itself by the years. A true marvel of corruption and incompetence display. Its first chairman had presidency from 1979 to 2014, and after he died things went a bit avok (not to say he hadn't already himself some corrupt payments scandals to his name). But essentially, before there was one mogul-in-chief who ran things, whereas after people started to mess it up even more.

For a quick and famous example of how things were (are) run there, the 2015 presidency election opposing Luis Segura to Marcelo Tinelli saw them tie at 38 votes each. There were 75 voting members in the comity.

Anyways what does it matter eh, Segura (elected) lasted two years before he was forced out for "aggravated administrative fraud" (fancy terms they have).

Evidence of discontentment from the players can be found in press comments and some Messi's instagram posts circa 2016 where he highlighted AFA's "disastrous" way of running things. It was also made public by a security agent that they had to come to Messi amidst an internal dispute with AFA to ask him to do something about their 6-months due salaries — quite maddening if you think about it. Regular informations of coaches and staffs not being paid for the competition they'd worked in would come out.

Precedents beefs

Amidst all those organisational/financial/political corruption issues, it's no surprise then for there to be precedents of players, employees and coaching staff beefing with AFA. Tata Martino and his entire team resigned in July 2016 following disagreements.

Tapia

AFA current chairman Chiqui Tapia (in place since 2017) is quite a controversial figure, drawing wide support & affection one day and outrage the other. A few time ago he was praised for having relocated a U-I-Forgot world cup in Argentina, allowing our evicted team to come back to the competition (only to lose again lmfao). Recently tho, it was more outrage that prevaled for how AFA passed a regulation stipulating that the Argentine first championship wouldn't have a three-places relegation anymore. Many pointed it as the death of an otherwise already wobbly championship. He's also branded with various nicknames such as Chiqui Mafioso, pointing at his meddling with politicians (including former Economy Minister and 2023 presidential elections runner-up, Massa) and other shady stuff.

So what's up with Scaloni ?

So now here are a list of stuff people/journalists have come up with over the day regarding the potential reasons for Scaloni's declarations + some own thoughts :

6 days ago - still in the middle of Argentine's presidential elections - a journalist asked Scaloni in a press conference about the clubs' privatisation - a tumultuous topic that has been thrusted on the hands of politicians for more than a decade now. Some think the journalist was mended by Tapia or others to get Scaloni - coach of the National Selection, fresh out of a treble and thus getting lots of media attention and support from the people - to publically stand against the privatisation of the clubs and thus directly or indirectly to give support to presidential candidate Massa, supported by, as I was saying earlier, Chiqui Tapia.

Still on the political, journalists report that last week Massa asked, via Tapia, for a photo with the national team's players who refused : Tapia thus tried to pressure Scaloni in persuading them to do so.

General weariness of the way things are ran at AFA - who apparently have not taken their three peat as a hint to professionalize a bit and have still not paid the coaching staff or players for the WC win in Qatar. They also have been running up and about the globe to face really lower-ranked selections in order to bring cash in which not only tires everyone due to travel but is not to the taste of Scaloni as he'd want to keep playing against levelled opponents in the perspective of the 2024 Copa América and to find an actual usefulness to the games instead of pure exhibition for money.

So all of this = could be a way for Scaloni to publically put pressure on AFA during the break before the next international break in March, to see how they are going to react and let him time to decide if the issues have been fixed or not for him to continue as head coach.

It's worth noting apart from the political turmoil that Scaloni has also been head coach of a national team for about three years now, experimenting immense pressure which is of course at its culminating point now that they've won everything and are expected to continue to do so. A lack of motivation, a feeling of being overwhelmed by the pression can be factors for his statement. In this, I'm dabing a bit into personal experience as I'm recalled of Pep Guardiola's similar situation with FC Barcelona. Once you're on top of the world, with world-class/heavy names players filling the locker room, in a place that puts football above much things, you're bound to take a pause and look around to figure out what the sweet fuck you're going to do now. As they say it's not the destination that counts, it's the journey : the motivation can drag you for one, two, three years to every culminating point you see shining, but once you've conquered all those peaks, you can be left quite empty-handed and disoriented cause you have to find a new hunger to hit a new road again.

So here's a resume + my take of whatever's happening at the moment! I think that it could go either way, although I would be surprised to see him go before the Copa América. Whatever he does, honestly, and even though I'd be truly fucking sad and bitter to see him go, I wouldn't say a bad word about his decision, whatever it may be. How could we say anything about the guy who ended several decades long drought of trophies, put a team as close as a family together and led them to win us three trophies in the span of two years? I love him very much and whatever he does, I'll just be thankful. but yeah aimar do your job omg keep him until june for gods sake

#friends ask <3 #anon ask

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olderthannetfic · 1 year

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The tmnt especially rise of the tmnt fandom has suuuuuch a big problem with harassment. There are three or more artists who worked on the actual show that were harassed and bullied off all their social media platforms. Because they drew t/cest and posted it privately. People actually dragged those pictures out and linked them publicly and it was EVERYWHERE. Kids were reposting those links.

Even before rottmnt, when a 2012 tmnt character that one of the turtles had a crush on was revealed to be the bio daughter of the man who adopted the turtles—making them technically step siblings because they share the same father, despite the fact that they're not blood related and were never raised as sibling—you would not BELIEVE the shit the studio got bombarded with. I'm in a server with one of the people who worked on rise of the tmnt and they specifically said the team (which carried over a lot of people from the last reboot) agreed to avoid all romance because everyone could remember that absolute disaster.

They're not even the same species. I do agree it might have been a bit weird to put in a kids show, but iirc they did drop off the crush thing after a while. It really was not that big of a deal at all and did not deserve the amount of violent backlash it got.

rot/tmnt anon here, I actually just forgot to circle back to the relevant point sorry 😭, which is that scrolling through tmnt on ao3 is literal hell now. Every other fic screams "T/C*ST DNI" in the tags and the notes are full of walls of text about how gross it is and that anyone who ever even entertains the thought of being neutral on it should not touch their profile with a ten foot pole!!!1!!11! and should also drop dead.

Tumblr is not in a better state, but tumblr is tumblr so that’s not anything new. twitter just a couple weeks ago dragged some 16yo through the mud for drawing two of the turtles giving each other goodbye kisses on the mouth, which is a thing a lot of families do. And so to clear up the misunderstanding, the artist and their friends spent days posting about how disgusting t/cesters are and how every one of you is gross for even thinking it could be anything else. So yeah. Things are going great 👍

They should be grateful there's nothing more problematic to get upset about.

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luu-lulu-luu · 9 months

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Classroom Composer (English TL)

Some notes: I saw this on Twitter so I tried translating this story! However my twt account is totally unrelated to EnStars so I can't reply to the tweet ;; I hope the asker sees this somehow... And I also now know that you can shorten super long posts ;; Enough with the chitchat. Please enjoy! ↓

＊＊＊

Original Title: 教室の作曲家 Leo Tsukinaga Idol Story, ! Era Scenario Writer: Yuuki Yoshino Appearing Idols: Leo Tsukinaga, Nazuna Nito, Wataru Hibiki

Setting: 3-B Classroom

Nazuna

*humming*~♪

Leo:

*humming*~♪

Nazuna

Unya!? Shtop appyearing out of nyowhere! You shurprished me!

Leo

Wahaha, I have no idea what you just said! Uhh, Nazu? You're Nazu, right?

Nazuna

You forgot again!? Leochin, you have a hard time remembering things that you have no interest in after all~ Ugh, I got hurt by my own words. Anyways Leochin, classes ended quite some time ago, you know~?

Leo

Eh, really? I even hurried to come here too~ This school is like a maze so it's super easy to get lost. Whose idea was it to make this place so ridiculously wide? Bring them to me!

Nazuna

You're asking the wrong person... Though you should at least remember where this classroom is, or you'll have a tough time.

Leo

More importantly, Nazu, what are you doing? Ah, wait! I'm gonna fantasize about it! It's no fun if you tell me the answer so easily!

Nazuna

Aah! Don't stomp around! You're scattering the trash all over the place! Just when I finished cleaning up too~!

Leo

A~ah! Stupid! Fool! Nazu, you idiot~!

Nazuna

Eeh, why the sudden name-calling...?

Leo

Uu~ I said I wanna try fantasizing about what you were doing, but you just gave me a huge hint! You poopyhead!

Nazuna

...It's like I'm talking to a little kid. Look, I'm really sorry about giving out the answer, so can you help me clean?

Leo

...? Why?

Nazuna

Ah, so you really forgot. The ones in charge for cleaning up for today is me, Leochin, and Wataruchin, remember?

Leo

Hm~ I don't think this place needs cleaning up. But wait, where's the other one? I see. So he got lost, huh?

Nazuna

He's not the same as you, Leochin~ Wataruchin is probably just skipping class, like he always does.

Leo

I get that. There are more important things in life than studying after all~ It's totally fine to attend classes only when you're feeling up to it~♪

Nazuna

We're idols, but we're also students~ It's not good to neglect your studies, you know.

Leo

What, you're lecturing me now? Just so you know, it just fell on deaf ears! So it's totally meaningless! Let's do something much more meaningful! Like composing or something!

Nazuna

S-Stop! Don't write on the floor and on the walls! Come on, Leochin, get the dustpan and gather the trash!

Leo

Eh~ I already said this earlier, but I don't think we need to clean up! Well, it's fine. I just need to gather up all the trash I scattered earlier, right? *humming*~♪

Nazuna

(*Sigh* I somehow managed to get Leochin to help me clean so we're sure to finish up faster this way. I'll go ahead and clean the blackboard then~) Mn~! Mmnh~! Mnnnh~! (It's just barely out of my reach! Who the heck wrote something that high!!) (Uu~ I guess I need to bring a chair over to reach that part. It's one of those times when it's so inconvenient being small.)

Leo

Wahaha. The way you hopped around was so funny!

Nazuna

Uu~ Stop laughing at me and come help! I can't reach that part of the board. What about you, Leochin?

Leo

Nope, I can't either. That's why I'm gonna carry you, Nazu! Here we go, upsy daisy! Wahaha, that's my mom impression!

Nazuna

Woah?! Leochin, you're stronger than you look~!

Leo

Nah. If anything, I can feel my strength fading. Wahaha, my arms are shaking! You're so light, Nazu~♪ Are you eating your meals properly? You have to eat three times a day or you're not gonna grow!

Nazuna

Leochin, I could say the same to you, you know? ...Alright, you can put me down now. Thanks, Leochin.

Leo

Yup, being thanked sure feels good! Nazu, your light body and your hopping figure just gave me a burst of inspiration! Wahaha, inspiration is overflowing! You have my thanks too, Nazu~♪

Nazuna

Ahaha, you're welcome. Hm~ The eraser got dirty now so I might as well clean it. Leochin, can you put all the trash in that tra---

Leo

♪～♪～♪

Nazuna

Umya!? Wha, wha---Whar are you nyuing!?

Leo

Ah, I understood that one! What you ask, I'm composing of course. You said I can't write on the floor and the walls so I'm writing it on the board~♪

Nazuna

The board is off-limits too! And we just cleaned it a few moments ago! You know we have to erase everything again, right?

Leo

Wait, wait! It's such a waste to erase this new song! Let me write it down somewhere else!

Nazuna

Like I said, don't write on the floor and the walls! Write it down on a notebook or something!

Wataru

Amazing! Whenever you need me, and whenever you may not need me, I shall make a spectacular entrance! Wataru Hibiki, at your service ☆ Hmmm, I see that you are engaged in artistic endeavors. Please leave it to me! Come one, come all, don't take your eyes off of me for even a moment! One, Two, Amazing ☆

Nazuna

Unya, rowsh petalsh!?

Leo

Woah! Roses suddenly appeared on the board! And they're drawn so artistically! If Shuu was here, he would definitely love seeing these~♪ Wait, you didn't draw over my composition too! Thanks! I really love nice guys like you ♪

Nazuna

Umyaaa! All our effors earlyer have gyone chu wayshte, you knyow!? Uu~ if I knew this was gonna happen, I should've cleaned everything by myself...

Leo

Aah, this is fun! It's the best! Inspiration is flowing nonstop ♪ I feel like I can write a masterpiece right here, right now! You guys can look forward to it, wahahahaha☆

#ensemble stars #enstars #tsukinaga leo #nito nazuna #hibiki wataru

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rookawawastaken · 1 year

Text

xiaolumi: sharing a mattress on a chilly night

happy valentines day !!summary: xiao invites lumine to join his team during a gamejam* since their previous artist dropped out last minute. some poor organisational skills lead to some great cuddles. tags: modern AU, uni AU, gamejam, gamedev!xiao x artist!lumine

* a gamejam, to put it simply, is a game-making marathon during which the participants focus solely on making a game. the criteria for the game depend on the jam and usually change up every time

feel free to drop by and say hello to me on twitter! this ficlet is also posted there. :]

this is Lumines first GameJam, and, to be completely honest, she’s here only for Xiao. he asked to join last minute since his team's original artist dropped out a few days before the event, and she agreed. after all, even if she doesn’t enjoy making a game, she will always enjoy her best friend's company, and some new experience comes as a bonus, too.

the first day went surprisingly great – everyone was very nice, Lumine befriended an artist from another group during a lunch break, her own team has a wonderful game idea that she’s very excited about, and she got to see Xiao working on something he’s passionate about. they do study together, but never has she seen his eyes sparkle the way they did when they talked about their game. sure, his face seemed neutral, but after being friends with him since they both were in diapers, she can see that little smile whenever he gets his hands on something he enjoys.

all’s well on the game-developing side of things, however, in their haste, they forgot to figure out the sleeping arrangements, so the team ended up with one less mattress than needed. Xiao, being the way he is, offered up his own to her the moment he realised his mistake, but Lumine is not letting that boy sleep on the floor and get a cold, or maybe not even sleep at all. they all will get their beauty sleep, one way or another.

– what if you two just share? i don’t believe you haven’t shared a bed before in all the years you’ve known each other! – and, honestly, Venti was absolutely right, they have shared before, even if it was quite a while ago.

the thought of sleeping together (literally, get your head out of the gutter!) with Xiao isn’t making Lumine uncomfortable, and the guy seems to be okay with that as well, so that’s what they decide on – squeezing together on the same mattress, under the same blanket. she wasn’t able to talk Xiao out of giving her his pillow, but it’s okay. at least he’ll sleep.

but, oh, the room was actually quite chilly, and Lumine was always prone to freezing even in relatively warm temperatures. as much as she tries not to shiver, lest she troubles Xiao, he knows. Xiao has learned to read Lumine just as well as she’s at reading him, if not better for the fact she is far less reserved than the boy.

– Lumine.

she almost yelps, getting jumpscared by Xiao’s half-whisper, hot breath right on her ear. when she turns to him, lying on her back now, with Xiao partly hovering over her, propped on one elbow, Lumine can’t help but blush.

her best friend is extremely attractive.

– yeah?

– you’re shivering. are you cold?

– sorry, i just, i didn’t think it would be that cold…

Xiao sighs, though, not unkindly. he’s quite used to her shenanigans, even allowing himself a small smile that he hides in the dark of the room. – come here?

– where? – she doesn’t get what he means at first, but when he lays on his side and opens his arms up, basically non-verbally inviting her to cuddle with him, she can’t help but ask. – are you sure?

– i don’t want you to catch a cold because of my poor management skills. – Lumine could swear she can see him pouting, but there are no light sources, and she can’t tell for sure. – just let's warm you up, okay?

Lumine hesitates only for a few moments, before moving closer to the boy, just as he puts his arm under her head for a pillow, and holds her close, just a little above her waist. – comfy?

and, to be quite honest, yes, she is very comfy. and so-so warm.

she lets him know that much. the only reply she gets from him is a quiet snort.

they lay in silence for a while, in a few minutes Lumine is all warmed up and cozy, slowly drifting to sleep, sleepily nuzzling into Xiao’s chest. – thank you, Xiao.

– it’s nothing. rest up now, we have a lot to do when we wake up.

– good night, Xiao.

– sleep well.

the kiss on her hair that followed was probably just her imagination.

#ellierookawawrites #xiao x lumine #xiaolumi #xlmi #xiaogenshinimpact #luminegenshinimpact #genshinimpact #fic #fanfic #ficlet #drabble #ngl i forgot i had an account here #fluff #they are very soft

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logically-asexual · 1 year

Text

One more time with feeling

summary:

Part one of this series is 'I can tell I've rotted in your brain', about Logan being slowly pushed away over the years until one day he is kicked out of Thomas's conscious mind and becomes the orange side.

This is part two, about Logan finally coming back.

Read on AO3

Chapter 2

| First | Next |

words: 1664

Thomas locked his phone and tossed it to the other side of the couch. Virgil and Roman sat next to him, one on each side. He groaned, with his face down in his hands.

“Maybe if you try checking again,” Roman suggested.

“He checked an hour ago and the video has been up for two weeks, Princey, the number is not magically going up,” Virgil countered.

“I tried so hard,” Thomas said, muffled by his hands.

“I know.” Roman reached out to put a hand on his shoulder.

“This was supposed to be the good one.”

Roman hesitated. “Well, I guess it was not realistic to expect one video to make a difference. But we can keep going and a good pattern will surely change people’s minds and bring those views back!”

Thomas didn’t move.

Roman turned to Virgil, asking silently for help.

Virgil shrugged. “That might sound reasonable but, I don’t know, dude, everything just sucks right now.”

“Um… Oh! We also have that call at the end of the week to look forward to! Maybe you got the role!”

Thomas leaned down even further. “I saw John posting on Twitter that he got the role, so I don’t think they’re calling.”

“Oh.” Roman looked down at his feet. “Did we congratulate him?”

“Thomas doesn’t speak to him since we forgot about his graduation ceremony, remember?”

Thomas’ face was now on his knees.

“Right…” Roman felt lost. “I’m sorry, Thomas. I should be leading you into success, I… I don’t know what went wrong.”

“I don’t know either,” Thomas sighed. “Everything was going so well.”

“Maybe this is the beginning of the end and we just gotta lay down and embrace it.” Virgil said as he leaned back on the couch.

“I don’t know what I’m supposed to be doing! Like, how am I supposed to keep up with everything? I’ve been using the calendar on my phone and I still don’t know what day it is.”

“A calendar doesn’t help with the mess we have here, either,” Virgil commented, looking around him at the clothes, food, and electronic devices thrown around.

“Damn it, I was supposed to clean up here today early so I’d finish in time before going to my parents’. Gosh, what did I even do all day today? I can’t remember.”

“Well, you had oatmeal for breakfast,” Roman said.

“Right.”

“And you’ve been sitting here since.” Virgil looked at the empty bowl right in front of Thomas on the coffee table.

“And what time is it?”

“Three pm.”

Thomas sighed again. “This was supposed to help me. You know, staying calm, giving inspiration time to strike and then let things flow. That was the idea. It was working!”

“The life of an artist is not easy, Thomas.”

“If I was a good artist it would be.” Roman frowned.

“Of course it wouldn’t. Have you read how depressing all painters’ and musicians’ lives are? You think I’m dramatic, you should know there’s a million worse than me,” Virgil argued. “You’re supposed to know that and you still chose to live like this.”

“Because the good moments make everything worth it, emo! That’s what you don’t understand!”

“Good moments? Where? I don’t see any coming any time soon.”

“Okay that’s enough.” Thomas sat up. “This isn’t working.”

Both Sides went silent.

“It’s getting late, let’s leave already and maybe… my parents will have some advice.”

Roman frowned.

“Are you okay, Princey?”

“Yes, it’s just that… You shouldn’t need help. I– I mean, we should be able to solve this on our own. It’s our job after all. But… I don’t really see any other option.”

“It’s going to be fine.” Thomas said softly, turning between Roman and Virgil. “They love me and they’re not going to think less of me for struggling.”

“I guess,” they both mumbled.

“Come on, we can begin planning the next video on the way.”

Thomas arrived back to his home feeling exhausted and defeated. Talking to his parents didn’t seem to help, with them instead providing him with a never ending list of ways his life was out of control and nothing like what a serious adult should look like.

Thomas didn’t want to be a serious adult. At least not the picture of one that his parents had in mind. He wanted to have fun while he could, to create, to be with his friends, to interact with the thousands of people around the world that enjoyed the same things he did.

They were right in some aspects. He needed some amount of control, he couldn’t just take life as it came.

Thomas didn’t know how to do that, though. Other people seemed to just know when to take the reins and lead themselves and others to success, but what would that look like for him? In school success would mean to get a good grade, in an office job it would mean to request a raise or seek a promotion and then obtain it.

But his life wasn’t like that. Patton would tell him one can’t measure how “successful” a friendship is; people just change with time and you either stick together or you don’t. Roman would say success in auditions didn’t depend solely on him, since casting choices consider much more than the quality of his acting.

Success in his YouTube channel, well… He thought he had that one figured out but it was now slipping away, too. It was impossible for his team to churn out fun, high quality productions once a week, and he had learned he couldn’t make promises to his fans without disappointing them, something Virgil wouldn’t forgive.

Then… What was he supposed to do? He wasn’t equipped for this. Nothing made sense.

Thomas groaned as he laid face-down on his bed. It was only eight, but he didn’t feel like letting this day continue any longer.

“You’ve wasted this entire day, and now you want to waste the night, too?”

Thomas could recognize Virgil’s harsh tone even without looking up from his sheets.

“What do you suggest I do?”

Virgil stayed silent and crossed his arms.

“That’s what I thought,” Thomas said with his face still on the mattress.

I know someone who would know what to do, Virgil thought. He couldn’t stop himself from bringing it up any longer, but he tried to choose his words carefully.

“Thomas,” he called. “You don’t think Roman, Patton or I have any idea on how to solve your issues, right?”

Thomas thought for a moment. “I don’t know. Maybe you do, but the ideas need more time or… I don’t know.”

“Maybe. Though not every single one of your thoughts and ideas come from us.”

“What do you mean?” Thomas finally turned to look at the anxious Side.

“Sometimes… there are thoughts that… seem to have been hidden away and then they… suddenly appear, apparently from nowhere.” Virgil struggled formulating the idea subtly enough, avoiding the best he could to catch Deceit’s attention. Thomas’s memory about having Dark Sides was locked away by denial, which made it impossible for him to just say what he wanted.

Thomas was making that confused face at him that he always made whenever he wasn’t understanding a single word a Side was saying.

Virgil inhaled deeply. “I, uh… I think that you do have the solutions you want in you, somewhere within your mind. You just need to… I don’t know… seek deep inside and… summon them.”

“Okay?” Thomas began sitting up. “How do I do that?”

“I don’t know,” Virgil confessed. “You could maybe… think really hard about what you want?”

Thomas still wasn’t convinced, but closed his eyes and tried anyway. “Fine,” he sighed. “Um… I want to be more organized. I want to be more responsible. I want to not disappoint the people around me all the time.”

Virgil looked around him, waiting for anything to happen, but nothing did.

Thomas opened his eyes slowly. He looked at Virgil, who nodded at him, encouraging him to keep trying. “I want to… have some stability. I want to feel in control of my life.” Thomas’ eyebrows wrinkled. “I want to keep doing what I want without people judging me all the time.” His fists clenched. “I want to be able to stick to a release deadline without other people interrupting my momentum complaining about inconsequential–”

“Hello!” Patton suddenly showed up with a big smile. “What are you two, kids, doing up so late?”

“It’s only eight, Patton,” Virgil said, willing him to leave and let Thomas keep trying to summon Logan.

“Oh!” he laughed. “Right! I was just thinking that sometimes…” He looked between Virgil and Thomas, his smile not faltering, “when we have unlucky days we begin having some… not so friendly thoughts at night, and the best solution is to get back into the comfort of our sweet dreams early to feel better in the morning.”

Thomas nodded. “You’re right. I’m sorry, Virge. We weren’t getting anywhere anyway.” He fell back onto the bed. “We’ll think of something else,” he murmured before falling asleep.

Virgil bit his lip as he sank back out to his bedroom.

Why didn’t Logan appear when Thomas mentioned responsibility and organization? He couldn’t have received a more explicit call. Did he not want to show up? Could he just decide not to even if he hasn’t ducked out? Did he… duck out?

Maybe Thomas didn’t really believe what he was saying. But that was strange, too, since Virgil thought that Thomas lied when he would insist he didn’t want some stability.

Nothing made sense.

However, there was no going around it. Logan was the solution. Thomas couldn’t keep ignoring his entire existence, no matter how hard Anxiety and the other Sides tried to make up for the lack of his role. Virgil would bring Logan back, even if it meant he had to drag him out of the subconscious himself.

| First | Next |

#>:)c #logan sanders #virgil sanders #roman sanders #patton sanders #thomas sanders #sanders sides #ts #one more time with feeling #erase me

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lukahdrawsshit · 2 years

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As some of you may know, I post an art prompt (for drawing, writing, music, whatever it inspires you to do!!) every day

Namely on the discord art server I moderate for, and a twitter account I set up just for this.

This is the themes I have for October this year (2022) Compiled together into a list ahead of time for anyone who wants to use it for one of the many October drawing challenges

This is it in image form for the convenience of those who save prompt list images.

If that is not your kind of convenience, fear not, here is the list in text form as well!

Oracle

Abandoned Buildings

Rabisu

Slasher

"Me and my shadow"

Needles

Cyborg/Techno-organic

Sarcophagus

Master Study: Ken Currie

Furfur

Possessed

Dearly Departed

Serial Killer

Inked

Rope Burn

Environment Study: Monster's Lair

A-Mi-Kuk

Blue in the face

Skeletons

Infested

Axe

Nose Bleeds

Fog

Anansi

Jester

Painting Pumpkins

Bandaged

Cold Hands

Blood Oath

Knives

Penanggalan

[EDIT: The last theme is spelled Penanggalan, but I have it misspelled as Pennangalan in the image. Doubling the wrong letter while writing is a typo/spelling fuck up I am notorious for doing in words. I corrected this in my list years ago but forgot to update the image back then, and only just noticed it oops.]

Feel free to use this list of prompts as you please! You could follow it exactly for an October drawing challenge like intended (inktober/drawtober/OCtober/etc) You could pick and choose the themes you like to mix and match with other lists out there to make a list just for you that you like You could rearrange the order as you please, and do it in any timing that you want

I’m not your boss, I’m just putting out what I made to help anyone who wants to use it make more art :)

I’ll link to the twitter account, and post the prompts from last october and the year before in my reblog to my main account btw!!

#prompt list #prompts #themes #inktober #drawtober #drawing themes #art themes #art prompts #drawing prompts #october art challenge #art challenge #drawing challenge #goretober #gurotober #monstober

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tinystepsforward · 1 year

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i am so fucking sad tonight and i used to put that stuff on here like a decade ago so here we are again ig. just.

really horrid combination of things happening right now and it makes me extra upset bc i'm into my second month on low-dose t and the first month was going so fucking well for like. being conducive to the last of my trauma recovery? and then, of course, recovery isn't linear and also my parents seem intent to retraumatise me whenever they can. but like.

english terf hits our shores

completely inescapable discourse, and also targeted abuse, on twitter and elsewhere. also i wrote an op-ed bc our media are useless and we need at least a few trans voices out there (hopefully it does get picked up, but it was gruelling to write)

my mother switches from spreading conspiracy theories about climate change to a sudden and vicious focus on trans people. not that she ever stopped being a bigot but usually it's one post every few months about how conversion therapy works and not several posts a day from people who want trans people murdered

scheduled to be interviewed for a study on conversion therapy survivors on tuesday

scheduled to go on holiday with my family on thursday. i booked a separate room so i won't have to attempt to take my (oral, twice daily with food, specifically bc the endo didn't want me on injections until we knew for sure i wouldn't need to suddenly stop t to avoid extended ptsd episodes) testosterone around family who would be very willing to attempt conversion therapy round fucking four on me

i have no idea if my job will still be there for me when i get back from this scheduled leave bc [gestures at tech companies and ai]

conference all day monday (tomorrow, technically) that i know will eat all my spoons, and that doesn't cater for my dietary needs so i'll have to pack food

and it's like. i am so sad. i am so so sad. i have been making a concerted effort w my family because my paatti (dad's mother) is in town, the one i've talked about before who doesn't know i'm gay and married bc my parents have prevented that happening. and i feel so lonely and so cut off bc as a diaspora/migrant family, and a mixed one at that, my only connection to my cultures is via my parents who fucking hate who i am. so i've been trying to hang out with her when they're not around. i said yes to this vacation, we'll get more time together and some pictures and stuff.

but i'm still fielding her questions about why i don't have a boyfriend. and my parents have decided to, right when i'm most stressed about being trans, and about connection to family, be the worst people they can be about it again i guess? and it's true that my conversion therapy/parental/religion trauma is the stuff i've never come back around to working on in therapy bc my parents are actively reopening the wound every few months and it's. hard to work with that.

fucking like. shocking that i recovered from ptsd once, after [black box of getting csaed more times than i can count], immediately got groomed in a way that's rly fucking complicated to talk about bc my ex is a trans woman who decided to come out as a child-grooming rapist and as trans in the same month, and terfs salivate over the idea of using people like her as a cudgel, and completely forgot that approximately 300 other things, sa and otherwise, happened to me along the way to the point where my psych said she was surprised/proud i haven't killed anyone yet.

so i'm sad about all of them at once rn except the brain injury means i can only hold about two in my active memory at a time and i keep alternating which ones i'm sad about like shuffling several decks of cards really fast i guess.

#tony muses #this is a big long vent post and mentions csa #but it's not a 'don't read will delete later' you are welcome to read it #also cw terf shit and conversion therapy and parental stuff and religious trauma and idk what needs to be tagged. cultural alienation?#i am literally just sad #and transphobes are unavoidable on twt rn

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faerie-starv · 8 months

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Deviantart Anniversary/Story

I forgot to post this two days ago so here it is. Warning, it's a long story so I hope you have a free time to read.

I created my very first social media account was Deviantart on October 6, 2007. I was living in Orlando for attending college and it was my first time being away from home, renting an apartment, and creating my own account. I started college in July 2007 and was majoring for Multimedia Design(which changed into Digital Media). A week after I started my second quarter, I decided to create my DA account. Quick note, here's the link of what Deviantart looks like back in 2007 by using Wayback Machine so you can get the idea.

Before I made my account, I first discovered the site back in early 2006 when I was browsing through Kingdom Hearts fan site and went to the gallery page section. It was showing fan art from other fans with links of their social media sites(MySpace, Deviantart, etc.). One pic I found was none other than the artist is called Keysha-chan as she was a huge Kingdom Hearts fan and drew them as cute chibis by using Copic markers. I checked out her DA page and I was amazed of her talent as she's the same age as I am. She not only drew KH but she also drew Final Fantasy, Fullmetal Alchemist, Jax and Daxter. She even made her own manga by creating her original characters, Elemental Goddess. She's no longer on Deviantart as she's now active on Instagram(which I follow her) and changed the username to KeyshaKitty.

After I created my DA account, she was the first person I watched. I saved the tutorials such as the markers and plushies. I learned some of it as I'm still learning how to use markers(you'll probably see some of them on my Tumblr page). She was the reason why I created my DA account. Back then, there was a lot of great art; fan art, original art, photography, CSS layouts, etc. There was no AI, people don't mind the 'cringe' art, no one accused you of being 'racist/homophobic/etc.', no SJW's, no walking on eggshells, and so forth. Sure, there was art theft and some trolls but nothing too major like what's happening on Twitter/X or on Facebook today.

I posted my first journal entry and introduced myself then went on following/faving spree.

I couldn't post my artwork till two days after I made the account because I didn't have printer/scanner back then and can only rely at college. It was Sunday when I first logged in and the school was closed. I couldn't upload my pics on Monday as I was starting my class and stay behind to use their Photoshop programs(back then, I didn't have Photoshop). I posted this pic on Tuesday as it was my OC's(which it needs some serious update and I'm making changes) while using some Photoshop. Please excuse my crappy pic as I didn't know what Mary Sue was or that the anatomy was way off. I am planning to remake the pic in the future.

As the date says, I was using the school's computers to put together my pic and it was before I made the account.

I later posted few more pics; two of them were my oil paintings I made when I was sixteen and one photo of Lake Placid, FL that my family used to go on weekends.

Later on, I watched another user who goes by Lily Pily and she was a big Nightmare Before Christmas/Corpse Bride/Kingdom Hearts fan. I read her crossover fan comics and loved her OC's which she became the first deviant to do an art trade with. I asked her if she can draw Emily from Corpse Bride while she asked me to draw her OC also named Emily. This is not my best pic of her as I'm still learning how to draw humans.

I'm also planning to redraw her as well. I'm hoping to follow Lily Pily's other social sites but I don't think she has any besides Deviantart. I still want to keep following her for her art.

I finally got around to post my first DA ID but I kinda traced the figure from the books so you can see how different it is(not proud of it hence why I later took it down).

My god, that pic looks awful! Tracing doesn't help either so it certainly does not make my pic better. The dress is so much cringe as it was based on my old Halloween fairy costume but the colors are just, ugh!!! The wings aren't very good and the pastel colors doesn't mix very well with the dress. This is why I took the pic down a year and a half later. This is what my fursona looked like back then before seeing the current version you see today. There's a reason why I don't like tracing nor using bases(like what I did on my ponysona for Neocities) because it just limits me from doing things. I want to be in control of things.

During 2007 and 2008, I didn't really gain any watchers except two who I know in real life. I also didn't get faves nor comments either until 2009. It was because of two things; one is that I didn't socialize with others nor joined clubs(before it turned into groups) hence why I lack of gaining watchers. Second is that my art was mostly non fan art and I just focused on creating my OC's but sadly, no one was interested in them. :( It wasn't until in 2009 is that I bought myself a digital camera from Walmart and started taking photos. Once I posted them on Deviantart, that's when I gained more watchers, comments, and faves. I still owned this camera to this very day.

Yeah, I used Adobe Illustrator to draw my camera. Loved that camera!

I took a bunch of photos mostly from theme parks and city downtown as well as flowers and birds. So photography is one of the reasons why my page is getting attention but another thing I've done is creating crystal orbs for fun.

Those gained a lot of popularity. Then I started to create my Fakemon, Faerie Mews based on the elements.

The first one was a Fire Faerie Mew(the other is the Chinese Fire Faerie Mew) then I created four more. I ended up making a final pic of four main elements. I really loved making them and I am planning to remake them in the future. I do want to finish the Chinese Elemental Faerie Mews as I only did one but didn't get around to finish.

I would love to post more of my old DA artwork here but I'll have to save it for other time as I can only limit on how many I can put in this post. I just wanted to post the story of my DA anniversary to share it with everyone.

If your asking me about my DA account, don't bother because I closed it back in January due to the site being overrun by AI and the admins stopped caring about the artists. I already removed my pics a year before they allowed AI(thank god I did that) to make it easier for me to clean up and deactivating the account. I've been on DA for fourteen years(fifteen if I choose to stay) before calling it quits.

So now I'm moving on here, Inkblot, Square, and Neocities to post my art. Hopefully you guys enjoyed my long ass story.

#deviantart #my art #old DA artwork

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fourseasonsfigs · 1 year

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Don't Go to Work, I'll Take Care of You

I have been waiting and waiting for this fig set, which is funny, because I almost didn't buy it.

Gentle figthusiast, let's take a trip back in time - back to the days of yore, before October 15, 2022. Yes, that far back. It seems both like yesterday, and like ten years ago, in this strange warping of time that has occurred since the pandemic hit back in 2020. These figs went up for sale early September 2022, and I had hemmed and hawed over them for a while. If you've been reading for a while, you know I really don't prefer teary-eyed figs, and I knew nothing about either Zhang Min (Zhehan's character from Everyone Wants to Meet You) or Zhao Fanzhou (Gong Jun's character from The Love Equations). These looked like fairly plain figs, and while the name of them was super cute, I thought I could probably live without them.

At the time, I was at one of those inflection points (I've had a couple) where my heart wanted to collect all the figs, and my brain was aghast at the absolute pure insanity. My brain was trying to bargain with my heart by telling it that it could have all the figs that were Special, and Important, and had Meaning, and hey, maybe we didn't need ones we didn't necessarily know anything/care about.

But, thankfully, I had been down That Path before, and I knew where it led. It led to me finding out just how Special, and Important, and Meaningful those figs were that I didn't buy (via the story, or a Twitter post, or a picture) after sales had already closed, and me suffering paroxysms of regret. So I told myself, no, there's a story here, and I just haven't had a chance to watch the show and I don't want to Regret It (tm), so I bought them. But that being said, I promptly forgot about them, because I just didn't find them that interesting and I really wished Zhang Min was not so unhappy.

And then October 15, 2022 hit, and 61K words of the most incredibly perfect Zhoumin story landed at Ao3:

Cross Contamination: an Inadvertent Transfer of Materials and Affections

If I do nothing else with this blog but convince someone to read this story, it will be well worth it. I'm absolutely tempted to re-read it for the nth time (I don't dare put the actual number on the grounds it may incriminate me for how I'm obsessed with this story).

It may amuse you to know that as I was reading this and nearing the end, I actually was thinking about this fig set, how perfect it was, and congratulating myself on listening to my heart and buying them! I would have been crushed logging onto Xianyu immediately after finishing and buying it, no question, at whatever price, scalpers be damned.

I still have not watched either show, and I'm totally ok with that (I will eventually!), because frankly all I need is this story in my life. In brief, Zhang Min is a harried hotel CEO, and Fanzhou is a forensics college student. I won't spoil anything, but Zhang Min does seem to have had a tough run of things, and definitely could stand to not go to work and let Fanzhou take care of him. (Sometimes I think we could all stand to not go to work and let Fanzhou take care of us, but moving on!)

Let's have a few pics before we get started - and kick it off with Zhehan/Zhang Min:

And of course, the inspiration for the fig:

Mostly I know Everyone Wants to Meet You as the show where Zhang Zhehan looks exceptionally fine wearing suits and sporting a buzzcut. You know I am a proud member of Team Long-Hair Zhehan, but I have eyes.

And now Gong Jun/Fanzhou:

I don't remember college seniors looking like this, I'm just gonna say.

Here we have our favorite hotel magnate having a tough day, and here we also have our favorite big eyed, sweet-faced college senior. I must say the fig maker absolutely nailed Zhehan's teary pout! Poor guy!

That's right, Fanzhou, patiently listening when someone's had a hard day is always welcome.

I never like the side shots where they're facing away from each other! Maybe sometimes difficult secrets can only be said when someone isn't looking directly at you.

There we go, sometimes secrets are best told to walls with someone patiently and calmly sitting next to you. I see the fig maker decided to keep to the theme of Zhang Min's form fitting, slim-cut suit.

I'm trying out doing three-quarter angles on these fig photos now, I feel like we get some nice views this way.

We definitely do! I'll try to be consistent with this from here on out.

These figs sit decently well, but for all that you might think they'd be solidly stable, they're not tremendously so. Like they won't spontaneously fall over or anything, but it's one of those things where if you bumped the table or cabinet (hard) they might. I put them on fig stands and feel much better about it.

Hehe, Zhehan's buzz cut in fig form is always so funny to me!

I was so busy narrating the tale of my purchase of these figs that I neglected to put their packaging pic up first. These little guys came very securely wrapped and arrived perfectly in their plain white box.

Here's the box card - it's so cute! We have the cat and the tears on Zhang Min's side, and the puppy and hearts on Fanzhou's size. They're safe and cozy together!

Material: Resin

Fig Count: 225

Scene Count: 18

Rating: Husbands take care of each other!

[link back to Master Fig Index for more posts]

#jzeu #zhang zhehan #gong jun #zhang min #zhao fanzhou #everyone wants to meet you #the love equations #shl cast #word of honor cast #figthusiast

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ichigopanhpff · 2 years

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Someday... Chapter 6: One Red Thread

[Last Chapter] -- [Masterlist]

It's the final chapter! This was fairly short sequel and generally don't like dragging things out. I'll be taking a short break to assess a posting schedule for "Sonata" sometime in July.

My copy of the Tenjiku character book should be coming soon. If there's anything interesting to translate in there, I'll post it. Seems like those who already got it have been translating the members' profiles on here and Twitter, so I may or may not do that unless someone puts in a request for it.

Also, my b-day's tomorrow! :D

🎵 BGM: Tommy Heavenly6 "Hey My Friend" | Lyric Translations

Warnings: Suggestive dialogue, mild spoilers from the start of "Bonten" arc in series.

Sunlight filtered through the puce colored cloth window shades of Mitsuya’s bedroom as echoing chirps ushered in the quiet morning. Two bodies laid peacefully on top of the full size bed, loosely embracing one another. As the light moved, (Y/N)’s eyes flickered and slowly opened them to see a familiar face sleeping beside her. She watched his chest rise and fall from his breath quietly with adoration. Traces of stubble was peeking out on his upper lip and the length of his eyelashes was as long as she remembered them. It felt like she never left and everything they’d gone through was like a bad dream she was waking up from.

How did they go from having a birthday dinner to spilling their hearts out in an instant? The lilac streaked hair man inhaled deeply and lazily fluttered his eyes open, staring back at her with sleep heavily coated on his lavender irises and dilated pupils with a light red rim around his eyeballs from crying.

“We forgot to eat the cake,” she muttered out and stifled a yawn, making him let out a light chuckle. “And I slept in outside clothes on your bed.”

“Really?” he lightly huffed, still half sleeping. “No good morning?”

“Priorities.”

Soft laughter rumbled in his chest and pulled her closer for a slow, soft kiss on her lips.

“If the whipped cream hasn’t completely melted, we’ll have it for breakfast, okay?” he compromised and threaded his hand in her locks, giving her a chaste kiss on her lips. “I missed this,” he whispered and pecked her again. “I missed you.”

She reached up and grasped his long, thin hands in hers and stroked it, cherishing the warmth he exuded on her skin. They spoke up until a few hours ago and fell asleep in each other’s arms, unpacking everything.

She started off by apologizing for leaving him and he for emotionally cheating on her and ignoring her feelings. They both realized at some point, they put their relationship on the back burner and focused too much on themselves, eroding their communication and wasn’t able to turn off their work mode on off days. In the end, they amicably agreed to take getting back together slow to talk things out more and set hard guardrails between their work and personal lives.

“We should get up,” Mitsuya suggested.

“We should get up,” (Y/N) emphasized.

“There may be melted cream all over the table we have to clean. Don’t want bugs in the place.”

She let out a loud, sharp exhale from her nostrils. “I hate it when you’re logical,” she whined with a rough, slumber-ridden voice.

“We’ll try to make quick work of it, yeah?”

He lazily dragged himself off the plush comfort of the bed and pulled her up by extending his hand out for her to grab. The two yawned loudly as they entered the living area of the apartment hand in hand; they looked up to see the lights were back on. And just as he assumed, there was a white puddle of sticky white dripping from the plate and onto the table from the long forgotten birthday cake. Sighing out loud, they went into the kitchen to grab cleaning supplies and a plastic bag to throw the cake out in.

“That wasn’t so bad, was it?”

“It was terrible,” she pouted. “We don’t have breakfast anymore.”

“I’ll go to that bakery we like and grab something,” he proposed.

“Oh, get the thick sandwich bread,” she requested with stars glittering in her eyes like a child.

Silently agreeing with a small smile, he kissed the top of her forehead and went into the bathroom to brush up while she thoroughly wiped every square inch of the wooden dining table with a cleansing wipe. Mitsuya came back out with a fresh face free of stubble, smelling of mint and shaving cream. He quickly dipped into the bedroom to change into a fresh set of clothes and walked up to (Y/N) for a long embrace, to which she returned.

“Be right back,” he whispered in her ear and gave her a quick peck on her cheek before leaving. Smiling to herself, she took care of the lone cake dish and spare lights on the dining table before preparing coffee for two in a pour over; freshly ground coffee was something they treated themselves to on a weekend, but today was an exception. Part of her felt bad for taking him away from his work just when the fashion world was finally acknowledging him; at the same time, that was what turned their relationship into what it is now.

At the very least, they could take one day to be selfish and be with each other.

The lilac hair streaked man returned fifteen minutes later and was greeted with the scent of fresh coffee permeating the apartment. The lights that were on before were now off; the room dyed in the natural hues of crimson morning sunlight. And there he saw (Y/N)’s back facing him from the sliding balcony door, now wearing one of his oversized t-shirts. There was just something so sexy about it he couldn’t put his finger on. She turned and gave him a small, tired smile through her bloodshot, puffy eyes from crying before making her way to the dining table where their fresh cups of coffee were ready to be consumed.

Mitsuya went into the kitchen and made toast from the bread he bought while she went to the fridge to take out jam and butter; the way they moved was like she’d never left. Just as she made her way out of the kitchen, he spontaneously snaked his arms around her waist and embraced her from behind before planting two kisses down her neck. It was like her presence alone brought the warmth back into the apartment and his life.

“What’s with all the affection?”

“Making up for all the times I stopped doing this with you,” he spoke into the curve of her neck and peppered a few more open mouth kisses before making his way back up to her lips.

“Hmm, keep doin’ this, we may end up with breakfast in bed,” she remarked suggestively after releasing.

“Would that be so bad?”

“Do you want ants?” she lightly chided with an arched brow, making him let out a dramatic sigh. He reluctantly released and the two finally sat down.

“Nectar of the gods…” she drawled out and sipped her coffee contently. “I thank you for sacrificing your roasted bodies to fuel ours…”

“Are you actually thanking coffee grounds?” he asked, questioning (Y/N)’s sanity.

“Of course!” she shot back. “It’s a luxury item for a lotta people. There’s also news reports of coffee bean shortages from the crop growers ‘cus of what’s going on in the world.”

“I didn’t know you were in tune world affairs like that,” Mitsuya replied in astonishment.

“I keep my ear on the ground about local happenings on the countries I visit,” she pointed out. “They make for more interesting stories to shoot.”

“Think… I can travel with you when I get the chance?” he asked shyly.

“If you can keep up,” she teased.

They settle into a comfortable silence while tucking into their breakfast.

“When you feel like you’re ready…” he began and set his coffee mug down on the table. “You can move back in… O-Only if you feel comfortable enough to. No pressure.”

“I…” she rolled her lips in, feeling hesitant. “I’ll think about it.”

Their conversation was interrupted by a notification on her phone.

“Damn it…” she sighed with annoyance and picked up the device to see a message from Ryota.

"What happened to no phones at the dining table rule?" her companion immediately pointed out.

"Goddamnit..." she groaned and squeezed her eyes close, realizing her mistake. "Sorry. Habit. Won't happen next time." Sighing, she unlocked her phone to read the message with raised brows and almost spat her coffee all over Mitsuya.

“Oh crap,” she let out haplessly after swallowing.

“What’s wrong?”

She turned her phone screen to him, with a bold headline at the top reading, “Is Budding Fashion Designer Mitsuya Takashi Dating “Wander” photographer (Y F/N)?!”

“’At Mitsuya’s debut show, (Y L/N)-san was seen wearing a stunning royal navy blue one piece dress designed by Mitsuya-san; when asked about it, the handsome designer himself came by and announced it was to be in his upcoming couture line next spring,’” he read out loud and saw the candid photo taken of them standing side by side from the party, talking to someone. “Maybe I shouldn’t have said that.”

“Too late now.”

“’Most were surprised to have learned Mitsuya-san and (Y L/N)-san went to the same middle school. Could this be a serendipitous chance at a growing romance?! And what does her former love think of this?!’” he finished reading and leaned back onto his chair. All she could do was prop her elbow up and lean her face into it, audibly groaning. It felt like all the painstaking measures she took to protect him and herself all went down the drain. It doesn’t help the fact she was physically at his apartment right now!

“Did you see any paparazzi when you were out?” she hastily asked with worry.

“Don’t think I did. It’s a fairly quiet neighborhood, so even if there were anyone suspicious, the neighbors would’ve reported something,” he calmly replied. “Why are you so nervous?”

“Because of ‘Wander’!” she exclaimed with a hushed voice, not trusting how thick the apartment walls are. “What if someone puts two and two together and figures out you’re the subject in the piece?! All the work you did to get to where you are now would be gone! What if you get doxxed by internet trolls?! What if people think you’re riding my coattails for success and popularity?!”

She immediately stood and started pacing around madly like a wild animal in a cage, trying to think of a solution while muttering profanities under her breath. Mitsuya stood and stopped her in her tracks.

“Darling, relax,” he coaxed. “Nothing’s gonna happen to me. If anything, a headline like this would drive up the demand of my stuff,” he joked.

“This isn’t funny!” she smacked him on his chest. “Take this seriously!”

“I am and I’m telling you it’ll be fine. Besides, the story’s not wrong,” he noted. “We technically are in a budding romance and they don’t know our whole history.”

“It’s just…” she sighed heavily. “This is gonna be a whole PR thing with the agency. I just know it.”

(Y/N)’s phone notification went off again, making her audibly groan when reaching for the device.

“I ask for one thing and it’s peace and quiet. Is that too much?” she said out loud to herself.

“That’s two things,” her lover corrected with a smirk, to which she shot a dirty look.

She practically choked on air when she read Ryota’s message with widened eyes. “Murayama… you’re one crazy bastard,” she muttered and let out an airy chuckle of disbelief before showing Mitsuya what he wrote: Her boss released a public statement saying who she dates is not the company’s business as long as she won’t let it interfere with her job.

“Maybe I whittle down my time off to two weeks instead of a month and tough out the gigs,” (Y/N) thought out loud. “As a sign of good faith.”

“That may be for the best.”

–

“So you two are good now?” Draken asked Mitsuya. The two met up along the way to Musashi Shrine. Today was when they were going to open the time capsule they buried 12 years ago.

“Yeah. We talked a lotta stuff out.” The designer casually put his hands in his pant pockets. “And we’re gonna make more effort on us this time and not look at anything work-related during off hours. We’re even planning a trip to an onsen ryokan in Hakone later this year.”

“Finally,” his best friend let out and sighed out loud paired with an eye roll. “It was getting annoying having to skirt ‘round you two to hang out.”

“Wait…” Mitsuya stopped in his steps with furrowed brows. “She was in touch with you this whole time?!”

“Chifuyu too. She asked us not to say anythin’,” he casually let slip and kept on walking. “I get why, but think of my feelings here, jeez…”

“This woman, I swear…” Mitsuya rubbed his temple with his finger, irritated with her skittish antics.

Making their way up the stairs, the twin dragons were greeted by the former Toman captains and vice captains. Making small talk amongst themselves, hurried footsteps echoed from the stairs. They turned their attention to it, revealing an exhausted (Y/N) catching her breath at the top.

“Sorry I’m late,” she apologized between breaths and sped walked up to the temple, wiping the sweat off with her forearm before setting her equipment bag by the temple. “My job ran later than expected in Ikebukuro.”

“It’s fine. We’re still waiting on Mikey anyway,” Draken revealed.

“Would he even show?” she wondered dubiously. “He pretty much stopped talking to us after Toman disbanded. I even tried reaching out to him a few times after…” she pouted.

“Only one way to find out,” Pah-chin said.

The group of ten waited until nightfall and Toman’s former leader never showed up. Disappointed, each of the members got to opening their respective capsules; Chifuyu opened his first and got excited from seeing a magazine about airplanes, revealing he used to want to be a pilot.

“What a kid’s dream,” Hakkai taunted with a confident smirk, despite not remembering what he put in.

“Why don’t you show us your amazing dream then,” he snapped back.

The tall model suddenly went quiet, revealing an encased moon rock with his letter asking if he ever made it into space. (Y/N) bit her bottom lip and snickered, trying her best to not laugh.

“Get wrecked, Hakkun,” she wheezed out and keeled over giggling while holding her stomach.

“You had some balls to write that, since you have nothing to show for it…” Mitsuya remarked.

Embarrassed by his past self, Hakkai goaded the man he admired so much to reveal his item, which was a handmade rabbit plush.

“Were you the kinda person who couldn’t sleep without a stuffed animal?!” his former vice captain taunted in an attempt to embarrass him.

“No, you moron…” Mitsuya irritably snapped at this friend and opened his letter. “To me, in the future… Don’t forget your motivation.” He then revealed the plush was one of the first things he made for his sisters since they were born poor; it was the reason he picked up sewing. It eventually became fun when he made things for others, giving birth to his dream of becoming a fashion designer.

“If I’d never been poor, I wouldn’t be where I am today.”

(Y/N) walked up behind him and rested her chin on his right shoulder, peering at the doll.

“It’s still pretty damn good considering you made that when you were in grade school,” she pointed out. “I remember Luna hugging that to sleep every night when we were young.”

“What ‘bout you?” he asked (Y/N).

“Unlike you knuckleheads, I actually put something cool,” she beamed and revealed an embroidered jacket patch of a kitsune with Toman’s logo behind it.

“Whoa, that’s patch looks sick!” Takemichi complimented.

“I was gonna sew it onto my jacket after the Tenjiku fight…” she looked at it fondly before opening her letter with a group photo from New Years with Hina, Emma, and Mitsuya’s sisters in it. “’To me, someday in the future…’” she read. “’Has the weight in your heart lightened a bit? Have you traveled to anywhere cool with Sonny? Are you and Takashi married?’” (Y/N) paused and felt the tips of her ears get warm and pursed her lips, hearing the snickers of her friends from behind. “Past me was a pretty bold idiot…”

“Present you is still an idiot,” Draken teased, earning him a glare before finishing her letter. “’Whenever you find yourself stuck in your own thoughts and feelings, remember to lean on your friends. Being an adult may suck, but don’t lose your way.’”

A look of nostalgia reflected in her irises, still staring at the letter. “There was a time when I thought I’d be alone for the rest of my life, but then I met you dumb asses. And I mean that in an endearing way,” she chuckled. “So it wasn’t all bad in the end.”

Smiley and Angry then opened theirs; the former taking out a box of hair dye and read his letter out loud. “’Are you popular now? I hope you grow out your hair! Are you a host?’” … What the hell?”

“Looks like big bro wanted to take the easy way out in life…” Angry remarked and let out a snicker after reading his own letter.

Peh-yan read his letter out loud, admitting how sad and alone he felt when Pah-chin got arrested and was in jail. He hoped he’d get released early and they could go back to being dumb again. The former cried emotional tears of joy, hugging a porno magazine.

“You’re so awesome! Friends down to the heart…” Pah-chin happily sobbed.

Takemichi and (Y/N) glanced over to Draken, who was sitting down beside the temple structure, looking at the photo she took the day Toman disbanded. The former vice commander read his letter out loud, asking himself if he was still into bikes, if he was married with kids now, and if he was still following Mikey. He continued reading about all the regrets and anxiousness he had since Toman broke up, but understood Mikey suffered more.

“’I hope you don’t forget this, even if you lose these feelings you had as a kid… Remember Emma will always be with you.’”

Not a single soul breathed a word after, taking in Draken’s words. (Y/N) turned away to wipe her tears away and sniffled, thinking back on when she last visited Emma asking for advice about Mitsuya.

“Since Mikey ended up not showing up… Should we take a look at his letter?”

Takemichi opened the envelope and read it out loud, starting with him wondering what he’d be doing in 12 years time. But he knew Mitsuya would be a fashion designer and Hakkai would follow him into a similar industry since he likes him so much. (Y/N) will definitely become famous photographer. She’ll be published in magazines and eventually marry her boyfriend.

“Did he peek at my letter or something?” she groaned out.

Mikey then predicted Pah-chin would inherit his dad’s real estate agency and Peh-yan would work with him; Smiley would go off and do something crazy, apparently, but knew he’d be okay with Angry beside him.

“He had some weird expectations from me…” the older twin commented.

“’Kenchin’s totally gonna own a bike shop! I know him better than anyone, so I can tell,’” Takemichi continued reading with a smile. “’And Chifuyu… He should be doing something that makes him think of Baji. And Takemitchy, if you and Hina don’t end up happy together, I’ll kill you!’”

“Sounds like something I would say…” (Y/N) muttered.

“Actually…” Mitsuya thought for a beat. "Yes."

“’Disbanding Toman isn’t only for your future, but also for the others. It wasn’t the right place for you to get the important experiences that’ll help you grow into an adult. So please go on this journey to find your values; I’ll also go on my own journey to find what’s important to me. And I might not meet you guys anymore. You’ll understand, right? No matter how far we are from each other, we’ll always be connected.’”

“That definitely showed his maturity,” Smiley said.

“A journey to find what’s important to him huh…” Mitsuya blurted out.

“I guess we’re walking the right path,” Chifuyu concluded.

“I’m glad I came here today,” Hakkai smiled fondly. “I was confused thinking ‘bout how Mikey suddenly disappeared, but I’m sure he’s thinking about us right now no matter how far apart we are.”

As sad as it was to not see him, she couldn’t help but wonder if those words were only for lip service. Was he really thinking of them? There was a time where she understood him, but what about now? What colour has his heart been dyed in now? It’s not like she had any leads to track him down from the start. Sighing to herself, she gathered her belongings and made her way out of the shrine with everyone else.

“So,” Mitsuya called and walked beside her with an amused smirk gracing his lips. “You wanted to marry me.”

“Leave it,” her voice trembled out with embarrassment, still inwardly cringing at her sixteen year old self.

He suddenly stopped in front of her, looking at her with determination.

“Six months…” the lilac and black haired man blurted out with seriousness. She stared back in confusion. “When we work things out within six months, marry me.”

“Huh…?” (Y/N) blinked stupidly for a beat and then realized what he just said. “Wh—Huh, wait, what? Wait. Wait. WHAT. WAIT. WAIT.”

Her shout of surprise drew everyone’s ears and stopped in their step; all she could do was stutter like a record skipping on a needle, her face completely glowing radioactive red.

(Y/N)-chan, what happened?” Hakkai asked.

“P-P-P-P-Pro-Pro…” she stammered. “H-He p-p-pro-proposed!”

“I told you before, right? I’m not letting go of you again,” the fashion designer confidently stated.

“I thought you meant that in a more figurative way, not segue into a marriage proposal!”

“What’s wrong with that?” the dragon tattooed man chimed in casually and crossed his arms. “You two are practically married, considering how long you were together.”

“Honestly, I’m surprised Mitsuya-kun didn’t pop the question sooner,” Chifuyu stated, resting both his hands on his hips.

“Quiet in the peanut gallery!” she screeched. “That’s your biased opinions!”

“What’s the hold up, man?” Peh-yan asked. “Put a ring on her already.”

“What the hell… Each n’ every one of you sayin’ shit as you please,” (Y/N) muttered out while rubbing her temple from the sudden oncoming headache.

“It depends on her,” Mitsuya threw the question at his person of interest.

“What happened to taking things slow?” she argued. “This is the opposite of that.”

“I didn’t say we should get married now,” the designer clarified. “That’s rushing; I said in six months.”

“That’s still rushing!” she nervously reiterated.

“Maybe you’re askin’ the wrong question,” Pah-chin spoke up. “Shouldn't it be what’s holding you back from getting married?”

“Wow, Pah actually said something smart for once,” Smiley said with a tone of surprise.

“Takashi’s got his fashion line distribution and manufacturing to think about…” (Y/N) listed. “Not to mention, his couture line for next spring; that’s gonna take up a chunk of his time. And I gotta travel around for my job for the next few months.”

“But that stuff’s temporary,” Chifuyu argued back. “You two’ll have to eventually sit down and plan for the long game.”

“Why is our relationship even a group discussion right now?” (Y/N) cried out with frustration.

“’Cus you made me and Chifuyu hide the fact we were still in contact,” Draken revealed. “And you ghosted everyone else.”

The remaining group’s gaze fell on a now very nervous girl as beads of perspiration rolled down the small of her neck. She opened her mouth to speak, only to snap it back shut immediately. Huffing a defeated sigh, she bowed at them.

“I’m sorry for disappearing on you all. I thought the less people knew where I went, the better,” she explained in her apology. “I’ve been a really shitty friend.”

“Well, I’m sure you had your reasons…” Pah-chin sympathized, scratching the back of his neck. “But seriously though, Mitsuya wouldn’t stop callin’ us when you up and left.”

“Even I was tempted to block his number,” Peh-yan confessed with a small vein protruding from his temple. “Be a bit more considerate of our feelings here, idiot.”

“Taka-chan would’ve known sooner if Yuzuha hadn’t taken my phone away in Paris,” Hakkai divulged with a tone of annoyance. “He was worried sick, (Y/N)-chan! How dare you do that to him!”

“This.” She pointed to a fuming Hakkai panting with exhaustion while staring at Draken and Chifuyu. “This is why I didn’t wanna tell anyone.”

“Then don’t do it in the first place!” the tall model angrily chided his childhood friend.

“What’s important is she ‘fessed up and they’re all good now,” Chifuyu squeezed in as peacemaker with a lopsided smirk. “And she hasn’t run away again.”

“Yet,” she corrected. As she made her way to leave, Mitsuya immediately reached out and firmly grabbed her wrist; she turned her head.

“As I said before, I’m not letting you go,” he repeated with the resolve of his heart staring back at her. Their friends stood on the sidelines, observing quietly. “And you haven’t answered me.”

“Sounded more like a suggestion based on your tone of voice,” she haughtily pointed out.

“And?”

She let out a low, frustrated growl and balled her hands up into tight fists before looking back up at him again.

“Mitsuya Takashi, you are the biggest pain in my ass. You say and do these reckless things without thinking it through. And here I thought you were the level-headed one in the group,” she firmly responded and took a breath. “You wanna get married that badly in six months? Fine. But only if I catch the bouquet at Hina and Takemitchy’s wedding and you finish your couture concepts within this time frame,” she upped the ante.

The lilac and black haired boy pulled her close to him and cockily grinned.

“I love a challenge,” he agreed, staring deeply into (Y/N)’s eyes with a reignited fire. “You’re on.”

“My money’s on Mitsuya,” Draken blurted out.

“Same,” Peh-yan and Pah-chin both agreed.

“HAH?!” she let out incredulously.

“Sorry, (Y/N). I gotta agree with ‘em,” Chifuyu added with a toothy grin.

“He’s definitely winnin’ this one,” Smiley chimed in, with Angry nodding.

“Wow, my feelings…” she deadpanned. Her shoulders dejectedly slumped from the nonexistent support.

Mitsuya leaned his face close to hers, their lips centimeters away from touching. “Complain all you want, but you can’t back out now,” he whispered though a half-lidded gaze. “You’re mine and I’m yours.”

She couldn’t even fight back. Is this how it feels to completely surrender yourself to a person? He slid his hand down to hold hers tenderly. Through the crazy twists and turns life did to tear them apart, they somehow found themselves facing each other through the red thread of fate tied to their pinkies.

Maybe their love was destined to unfold like this to be reminded of what they have. And as far as they drifted away, that one invisible red thread was always there to pull them back together.

Taglist: @mor-pheus @netzukochannn @moodyhuesworld2 @someone4414

#mitsuya x reader #mitsuya takashi #tokyo revengers #mitsuya x fem!reader #mitsuya x y/n #mitsuya x you #ryuguji ken #ken ryuguji #matsuno chifuyu #kazutora hanemiya #hanemiya kazutora #tokrev x reader #tokrev x you #tokrev x y/n #tokyo revengers x reader #tokyo revengers x you

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