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husbandohunter · 3 years

Note

A Furry Predicament, but reversed (Reader turns into a cat)? Pretty please with a sweet lil cherry on top? (I recently stumbled across your blog and may I just say that I absolutely adore your works??) Thank youu and take care~~

A Furrier Predicatment [Genshin x Cat!Reader]

♤♡◇♧☆

Synopsis: It's your turn to be a cat after this incident.

Characters: Diluc, Kaeya, Xiao, Albedo, Zhongli, Childe, Venti

(A/n): Ah you did OwO that's very sweet of you. It's alot of fun to write, especially when your imagination is stunted and you just gotta spit out something silly.

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[Diluc]

Any beloved pet owned by Master Diluc would be under the most high quality and meticulous treatement. Mostly for cats since they tend to be calm while elegant...to some extent. If they were dogs then he'll ensure that they also serve as a partner for sniffing out trouble such as a certain bard who'd might've sneaked into the wine cellars. But you weren't either, so to say, you were both a beloved AND a cat.

As he picks you up gently into his arms, Diluc would be a little baffled on what to do next. He has no idea how to care for delicate creatures as he never had one (other than a pet tortoise but that's different) in which he needed to look for help. But who? The staff? Certainly not, no one can find out that his partner turned into a pet (imagine all the scandals he'll be in). Jean? Anything but the knights of Favonius. And most certainly not his brother.

So Diluc ends up figuring everything out by himself (old habits die hard). All the sweets and regular meals you craved were no long in your menu, you were forced to have a proper cat diet because he believed it was healthier. Half of the time he has no idea what he's doing, since you were a cat and all you could do was "meow" (which Diluc forgets. He tries to have a mundane conversation until you stare at him with feline eyes. That was when he remembered).

"What would you like for tonight's dinner, my love?"

"Meow." He has alot to learn.

Though Master Diluc often gets very tired and he attempts to take a quick nap before killing himself over the next set of duties. That is, until you could help it. Being a cat has it's furry and comfy advantages. So you leapt up to the bed as quietly as possible and onto the side of your lover, circling a few times to see if he was really asleep. When he was you snuggled close to keep him warm, hoping it would lull him into a rest even deeper. He slept like a baby.

~xx~

[Kaeya]

If the Cavalry Capatain were to own a pet, they would either be charmed by him or snaring their teeth because of his unreadable and suspicious aura. Animal instincts are quite powerful. But your case wasn't the latter, thankfully and he could feel himself growing fond of this new found relationship. Almost. What should he do with you now that you're a cat, Kaeya wonders.

Belly rubs and a lot of them. He absolutely adores the way your cute little nose scrunches up while he runs his fingers on the center of your tummy (though he knows when to stop, Kaeya is rather gentle with you nowadays). You found that he absolutely adores the shape of your nose, would pick you up and boop yours with his own somehow knows how to be his flirty self despite your unusual form.

There was this one incident where you saw something shiny flashing over the wall. Slowly you followed it as the bright dot moved futher and further away, evetually gaining speed. Little did you know it was Kaeya who was watching you swipe your little paws up and down against the wall while he was just cleaning his sword. How could he help it? You were often so headstrong and independent, now you were just an adorable little kitten that loves to play with yarn and shiny things. It backfired him though, now there were a bunch of scratchmarks marring the surfaces (which he had to pay for repairs).

Takes you out to Windrise so that you could get some fresh air (also for you to find somewhere else to shed your fur other than his humble abode). Kaeya sits back under a tree while you either chase a butterfly or start slapping against the dandelions (only sneeze when they fly into your face). He wasn't sure if you were aware of what you were doing right now, if you were then he'll have lots of things to talk about once you turn back into human. If not, then at least he had the opportunity to witness such a soft side coming from you.

~xx~

[Xiao]

If any animal were to go close towards the adeptus, they would run away. Xiao isn't very good at interacting with others, pets included, usually they would run into the alleyway or hide around the legs of their owners while he glaringly, blankly stares at them (Even though he wouldn't admit it, Xiao thinks to himself, how soft is cat fur?) Now he gets to touch your cat form and turns out that fur is very ticklish yet pleasant against his skin.

Would be the most awkward conversationalist, the poor yaksha was already terrible with his words (often coming out harsh so he prefers to either keep away or say nothing at all) and even with you sometimes, now it was almost impossible to communicate. Xiao is not very good at reading a cat's body language. When you want him to hold you again, you'd walk in circles. He assumes you were hungry and leaps out the window to go fetch some fish...for the nth time there was a pile of raw salmon stacking upon the floor. Xiao thinks that maybe salmon species weren't to your liking, hence he does out to find another one.

As he plays his flute, you'd magically doze off on his lap. (There was one thing that you both can communicate with at last). Slowly but surely, he comes to learn the different gestures you make for certain situations. You often rub yourself upon his leg which he had heard to be a cat's way of claiming their territory. That was when Xiao picks you up, FINALLY. Though the real reason why it took him this long was because he was hesitant to hold you. He never really held a pet so naturally he has no idea how to hold a cat. Ends up cradling you in his arms because it seemed to be a safer option <3

"I never thought I'd be able to hold you like this," Xiao softly says to your lazy form, observing the way your ears perked up at the sound of his voice, "But I...forget it. We can stay like this for the time being, if you'd like. If not, that's fine too."

You stay.

~xx~

[Albedo]

The only pets Albedo had were for his alchemic experiments (plus they were put in cages too). Fact be told, he would make a terrible pet owner with the lifestyle he has now. The alchemist would be so absorbent into his work that he'll most likely forget that he has someone to feed and by the time he realized it, they would have already starved to death. After hearing glass bottles crashing to the floor, Albedo bursts into the rooms as the smoke fills it completely, finding a cat lost between it. The cat was you. He knows because he made the potions.

Sometimes he'd a little too scientific for his own good. Albedo assumed that when you turned into a cat, you've gone into cat mode and ends up treating you as such. "No, don't go near any bodies of water. You wouldn't like it." He almost forgets that you were once human which is very much like him if you had to be honest. Though when he does find out that you still carried human traits, Albedo must find ways to adapt things to your liking.

He makes your food himself. He's not a cook but he sure is good at everything he does, even if it's something he never did before. This goes for other areas too such as the size of your bed, if you need a little couch to stay on or maybe some tools to play around. (The only time when he is a good pet owner). In his sketchbook he'd have a bunch of blueprints and contraptions of what to make next. There's something enjoyable when spoiling you, those little reactions when you're pleased, like the twitch of your whiskers or the lift of your tail. Albedo finds is very cute.

On top of all that, he could also make you a potion to turn you back into normal. It seemed that it was the last thing he thought of on the list. Albedo was too occupied with treating you like a cat that it all flew over his head until now. Time flies when you're having fun.

~xx~

[Zhongli]

Unlike Albedo, anyone who has Zhongli as a pet owner would be considered to be a very lucky animal. He radiates a calm and serene aura that gives the perfect environment to have infinite nap times. People look at this man and wonder why his pet never gives him any trouble, especially when cats were considered to be both fiesty and needy. But they just didn't know that the cat was you (not like it would make a difference, any animal would know that Zhongli was no ordinary man).

How on earth does he know what you're saying? Maybe it's because he was once an archon. You could meow and he knows exactly what you would like to snack on. You could tilt your head, he takes it that you were curious on what he was currently doing (which was exactly what you were wondering), you can say nothing at all yet as if he could read your mind, Zhongli comes over to pet you with his gloved hands.

"How can I tell? Indeed it is because you're my lover, of course. Throughout this time we spent together, I've come to learn the way you speak through your eyes. They seem to hold true no matter what form you take. It's rather comforting."

Though there were many moments where you sneak up behind Zhongli. His hair, his ponytail- so long. Must play with. As you jump up and down with his thin strand swings side to side, it'll take a few seconds for him to decipher what your were doing. The minute he turns around he catches you with his hands midair and laughs heartfully. Cats were very endearing creatures.

~xx~

[Childe]

Back home in Snezhnaya, Childe would probably have owned a dog or two. They were mostly meant for hunting purposes, big and large furry creatures with thick skin suitable to endure the harsh cold. He has dogs because cats hate him for some strange reason. They either hiss or snootly turn their backs on him, one time he picked one up as a kid but his face bleeding after the cat scratched him with their paws. But of course you wouldn't do that to him. You would never~ he was your cutie pie anyways.

He was an obnoxious hugger, not gentle at all. Childe forgets his strength as a human man and when he squeezes you tightly against his chest, you'd spike out on all ends because by the archons, you're suffocating. But it was your fault for feeling so comfy and warm! Similar to Kaeya, they're both obnoxious but Childe deemed himself to be even worse. He'd rub his face against yours, commenting on how sensitive it sways. Tonia once told him that she wanted a pet cat instead, maybe he should also bring you back to his homeland now.

Yes he would love to play with you. Bring in the cat toys...or not. This was the eleventh Fatui Harbinger, what were you thinking? Normal cat activities? Not here. He's gonna teach you how to hunt like how he taught his dogs to hunt in Snezhnaya. You gave him the most deadpanned and dissapointed look with your large feline glare. Not only was he disliked by cats but he certainly was not good with them.

Though he can take it down a notch sometimes and just indulge in relaxing activities. When there was nothing else for him to do or when he was just tired after a productive day, he'd sit by the kitchen and you on top of the table. While you yawned and leaned down for a nap, Childe plays with the small of your paws to the soft edge of your nails. If he taps your nose, your whiskers twitch. Your ears are nice, maybe he should get you a headband version once you turned back to human.

You immediately wake up when he touches your tail.

~xx~

[Venti]

Achoo!

You sometimes wonder how is it that the anemo archon was able to live through 2000 years without getting beaten up by a cat. If andrius was a large cougar than a wolf, maybe he wouldn't be an archon now. Which is why you are to stay miles far far away from him unless you want the whole of Mondstadt to be blown away by the wind.

Wears a mask (as if this were the covid19 pandemic), although it doesn't take away all his problems, at least it'll minimize it. Venti always has a box of tissues ready but you can tell by the puffiness of his eyes that he's been sneezing alot. He really tries his hardest to pitch in every once in a while when Albedo was working on a cure for you to go back to normal. Though acts as if he was quarantined by staying all the way at the other side of the room.

"Ahahaha don't mind me. It's your local bard of Mondstadt dropping by to see how things are going. I wanna make sure how long it will take for you to make the potion? Just curious!"

No hugs, cuddles or anything involving close proximity. This makes Venti very pouty and impatient. Albedo finds it very hard to concentrate with all the sniffling and sneezing that he had no choice but to kick him out. It didn't help that the location was Dragonspine, now he was sneezing even more.

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jackrrabbit · 4 years

Text

cuffing season /// Ushijima x f!Reader (18+)

Summary: [Shiratorizawa fanweek day 5—Firsts] You convince your boyfriend to try something new in the bedroom, but as it turns out, old habits die hard.

A/N: Heard it was Shiratorizawa week 👀 technically I did originally post this on day 5, but I had to repost bc of tag issues, whoops :P Let’s pray it works this time!! edit: apparently it’s still not listed in the tags :<

The song that I mention is Bruno Major’s Old Fashioned (although it doesn’t fit the tone of this fic in the least).

Tags/warnings: mild bondage, size kink, rough sex!!!, marking (bruises/hickeys/etc.), power play/power exchange, reader tries & fails to dom Mr. Ushijima 😳, all characters are adults

Look, Ushijima’s a great boyfriend. Perfect, almost. Sure, he may not be the most expressive guy, but you’ve been dating him long enough that you’re able to pick up on the little gestures that tell you that he cares about you—the way he presses his face into your hair when you hug him after you’ve been apart for a while; his hands stroking circles into your skin when you fall asleep in bed next to him; all of it. He’s everything you could possibly look for in a man, except for one not-so-little issue:

The sex.

Because Ushijima, your sweet, wonderful boyfriend, who kisses you so gently it’s like he thinks you’ll fall apart if he’s not infinitely careful with you, is for some reason incapable of exercising the same degree of restraint (or any restraint at all) when you’re in bed together. When it comes to sex, your boyfriend is a fucking animal. And you’re not really sure how much more you can handle.

Maybe your concerns would seem petty from an outsider’s perspective. It’s not like Ushijima doesn’t take ‘no’ for an answer, and it’s not like you don’t want to have sex. You’re attracted to him, of course you are! Almost 76 inches and 190 pounds of pure muscle, a body that looks like Michelangelo could have carved it from marble, and that beautifully solemn expression that had you salivating over him from the stands before you even knew his name? You want to have sex with him, you’re just fairly certain you can’t, not when it always ends up with you completely and utterly wrecked, so spent you don’t even have the strength to lift your hips off the mattress so he can wipe his cum off your thighs.

Look, anyone in your position would feel the same way. It’s awful and you’ll never admit it to him, but you almost broke up with him after the first time you two fucked. You knew going in that it wouldn’t be easy—the man radiates big dick energy and boy did he deliver—but it was just too much.

That first time had started off so innocuously, with you inviting him to your place for a nightcap after your sixth date. You’d set candles and put on your romantic sex playlist for a nice backdrop to let him hold you in his lap and make out—how the hell had you gone from that to having him rut you into the mattress, your belly pressed into the sheets and ass arched up so he could pound into you so forcefully that your rickety bed smacked into the wall hard enough to rattle the furniture with every movement, and you couldn’t even hear it over the sound of your own moaning? You hadn’t changed the playlist, and it felt downright obscene to listen to Bruno Major croon about love and courtship while Ushijima fucked into you like he was trying to carve the shape of his cock into your pussy.

You’d had to call in sick the next day because you could barely walk. The bruises from where he held your hips had taken weeks to fade, and by that time he’d already given you new ones. To his credit, Ushijima felt bad when he saw the evidence of how rough he’d been and he promised to take it easy on you next time…but after a few more rounds of mind-numbingly savage sex you learned that the man apparently doesn’t know what ‘take it easy’ means.

To be fair, at least some of it is your fault. You really shouldn’t have offered to go on the pill as a three-month anniversary present to him. At least before, he had to give you a break while he changed condoms after he came; now he has no reason to hesitate, instead going for round two (and sometimes round three) without pulling out. You never thought you’d see superhuman stamina as a bad thing, but…

“You don’t get it! It’s like getting fucked by a stallion. I need to plan to have three days to recover whenever I take him home with me,” you whined to your friends over cocktails when they told you you shouldn’t complain about a good thing—after all, Ushijima is just as committed to your pleasure as he is to his own, and there’s never been an occasion where he didn’t get you off before fucking you himself (probably at least a little because there’s no way in hell you’d be relaxed enough to take him otherwise).

“Can’t you just tell him to go slower?” one of your friends asked. “If he doesn’t listen to you, then that’s fucked up and you need to dump him.”

“It’s not that he doesn’t listen. If I tell him to stop, he stops,” you sighed, stirring your drink with the straw and watching the decorative sprig of mint fall under the surface to be overtaken by a chip of ice. “It’s like he can’t go slower. He’s not adjustable—it’s either crazy brutal or nothing, and then neither of us get what we want. Like a vibrator you can’t turn off the highest level. I don’t even think he realizes in the moment how intense it is for me.”

“Aren’t you ever on top? You can set the pace.”

“I’ve tried, but Ushi just—“ you made a gripping motion with your hands and mimicked raising something up and setting it down vigorously— “like, bounces me.”

One of them raised an eyebrow and then her eyes widened. She turned to your other friend and the two of them whispered to each other for a bit, then shifted back to you. “Tie him up,” she said with the air of an elder imparting sage knowledge, and your other friend nodded.

“Oh, come on.” You rolled your eyes.

“I’m serious. Guys usually love it when girls are in control, you just need to take the initiative. Get him tied down and then you can show him exactly how you like it. Let him feel like he’s at your mercy for once.”

The idea had seemed unthinkable at the time, but you hadn’t been able to forget it—which is why after weeks of contemplation, hours of research, and a single extremely awkward trip to a sex shop, you’re now crouching over Ushijima’s naked chest, wrapping a leather cuff around one of his wrists.

“Are you sure that this is something you want to do?” Ushijima asks in that weighty baritone that makes you shiver with need. He doesn’t pull away, but he eyes your actions warily as you thread the chain of the cuffs around a rung in the center of your headboard and reach over to do the other side.

“…Yes,” you tell him, a little less firmly than you would have liked, and you lick your lips to try to make up for how suddenly dry your mouth is. “Anyway, isn’t that my line? We don’t have to do the cuffs if you don’t want to. I won’t force you.”

“It’s alright. You and I both know you couldn’t force me, (Y/N).” Dark eyes pin you down and it’s incredibly unfair how much power he has over you even when he’s the one chained to the bed.

Ushijima’s right, obviously—if he didn’t want to be exactly where he is right now, he wouldn’t be. You’re sure as hell not strong enough to force him to do anything he doesn’t want to, but he didn’t have to say it like that.

“Okay then…good,” you reply, adjusting the straps of the cuffs to accommodate for how stupidly thick his wrists are. When you’re satisfied that they won’t chafe but he can’t get out of them without your help, you sit back next to his chest and admire your handiwork. Ushijima lays on his back, naked, relaxed, even with his arms stretched up to your headboard and cuffed there. He looks good, mouthwateringly good, and you’re ready to get your hands on him when you remember there’s something you need to get straight first. “Wait, before we—before I do anything, remember— what do you say if you want me to stop?”

“…Vanilla,” Ushijima says, reciting the safeword you decided on when you were hammering out details, although the look in his half-lidded eyes is telling you very clearly that he has no intention of needing to use it.

Privately you agree, but everything you’ve read on the kink blogs you’ve been trolling for research tells you that a responsible adult doesn’t put cuffs on their partner without deciding on a safeword first, and you’re determined to do this by the book. “Good boy,” you say, and the diminutive feels awkward in your mouth until you see Ushijima’s reaction—the flash in his eyes, a minuscule hitch in his breathing next to you, and the scrape of metal against wood as he gives a light pull at the cuffs.

With everything safe and accounted for, you give a final tug to the chain to ensure it’s secure, then inch back and swing one leg over the broad expanse of his chest so you’re straddling his abdomen (and he’s so damn big that there’s a twinge of soreness in your thighs just from sitting on top of him). Fuck, he looks good like this, all spread out and pinned underneath you, so masculine and bulky that you’re feeling your pussy get wet just from watching him watching you.

It’s not often you get to appreciate him like this—usually you’re too focused on not losing your mind from how deeply he’s fucking you—so you savor it, massaging his shoulders and sliding your fingers down his sides, tracing the smooth skin with a feather-light touch and then dipping to kiss under his jaw. Feeling more than a little devious, you let your teeth graze over the thin skin at the base of his neck and with your chest pressed into his, it’s not hard to feel his sharp intake of breath.

“The marks...my teammates will notice.”

“Maybe I should stop, then,” you murmur against his skin, lifting up just enough to brush over his nipples. He stiffens, and once again you hear him tugging at the cuffs.

“…Don’t. I want them to see,” Ushijima says, and once you have his permission you don’t waste any time in latching your mouth to his skin and sucking. It’s been ages since you’ve given anyone a hickey. Usually you’re the one marked up like a teenager after Ushijima has his way with you, so this is a nice change of pace, especially when you can feel him flexing underneath you.

Well, kissing is nice…but you’re getting impatient and you know he is too. Once you’re satisfied that your hickeys are going to show up nice and bright red around his neck like a collar, you sit back, walking your hands back on his chest, stroking over his abdomen and giving a little roll of your ass on top of him. Ushijima’s hips twitch—unconsciously, you wonder?—and he glares at you in a way that tells you in no uncertain terms to hurry up and let him fuck you.

And damn it, something about that look has you feeling weak. Needy. Obedient. But this time you’re supposed to be in charge, so you smirk and lift your hips, pulling your body back so his cock is nestled between your legs, not quite touching your pussy. He’s already hard—no surprises there, considering how intently he’s watching you as you mess with him—but you only take a second to stroke his cock up and down before shifting up so he can see you slick your fingers up in your own pussy.

“(Y/N)…” Ushijima’s voice is low, annoyed, and he looks hungry. But you’re so amazed at how wet you are under your own fingers that you don’t bother to pay attention to him shifting his position under you to try to get stimulation. Your juices are literally slicking up your own thighs, just from chaining up your boyfriend and teasing him a little? You should have done this a long time ago.

You push two fingers into your pussy and pump them a few times, making sure to angle your hips so Ushijima can see them go in and out. The stretch is almost uncomfortable for a second and you wince a little before schooling your expression, knowing you’re about to have something a lot bigger than two fingers stretching you open. Ushijima catches it though, and he frowns, trying to sit up before remembering the cuffs that are holding him back. “Let me—let me do it for you—“

“No, stay down,” you say quickly, using your other hand to push him back into the mattress while you continue to touch yourself. Ushijima lets you (and there’s no doubt in your mind that he is letting you), but his eyes narrow as he zeroes in on the way your fingers are glistening with your own pussy juices.

God, you’re—you’re supposed to be in control, aren’t you? So then you shouldn’t be feeling like this, eyes drifting closed as you fuck yourself on your fingers, letting your lower knuckles rub against your clit while you try to curl them to rub against your g-spot. Ushijima’s been spoiling you…you can’t remember the last time you’ve had to do this yourself, and as you feel the tension building up slowly you catch yourself wishing it were him fingering you instead.

His fingers are just so thick. And long, and so rough. You bite your lip thinking about the way he does it when he preps you to take his cock, mashing his palm into your clit, petting along inside you and scissoring his fingers and… “Mmh,” you hum, holding back a real moan for Ushijima’s sake.

There’s another click of the chain sliding over the headboard wood and it reminds you that he’s right there, you could just uncuff him and he could touch you and fill you up with those thick fingers, make you cum, make you cry. But the urge to seek your own pleasure is outweighed by the image he’s making as he looks at you, his expression almost angry in its intensity now that he’s watching you do this to yourself and he has no way to get his hands on you.

“Ahh—“ you whine, letting a real whimper out at the thought of what you’re doing to him. “Ushi, Ushi, do you wanna touch? Wanna touch me?”

His head ducks into a hasty nod and his jaw clenches at the strain of having to ask for what he wants instead of just taking it like usual.

The longer you touch yourself, the closer you’re getting…but you don’t want to cum, not just yet. You draw your fingers out of your dripping cunt and open them up in a V, showing off the juices that connect them, the evidence of how wet you are for him. “Mmm, I don’t think so. I think there’s something else I want in me instead.”

And then you’re reaching to the side for the lube, squeezing a healthy dollop into your palm and then wrapping your hand around Ushiijma’s cock. And—fuck, he’s big. Sure, you’ve had sex with him plenty, but no matter how often you take him, you never stop feeling absolutely torn up after. A tingle of trepidation races up your spine at the thought of riding him like this—can you even put it in by yourself?

Even just looking at it is intimidating. He’s painfully hard, cock flushed red and bobbing up against his lower stomach every time you let it go, and, Jesus, how is it even possible that this thing would fit inside you? When you wrap your hand around him your fingers don’t touch; he must be thicker around than your own wrist.

Halfway. That’ll going to be your goal tonight, to take him halfway. And even that…is going to be a stretch.

The anxiety must show on your face because once again you’ve got Ushijima straining at the cuffs. “(Y/N)—“ he spits as you stroke him up, nudging your palm against the tip. “(Y/N), you need to finish first. Let me make you cum.”

“No, this time I want to—I’m gonna cum on your cock,” you say, adjusting your position so you’re kneeling above him, the head of his cock sliding between your lips. “Gonna cum on your big cock, Ushi, okay?”

His cock jumps in your hand at the provocation. He’s glaring at you, but he’s also leaking precum, the sticky fluid mixing with the lubricant. You give Ushijima a moment to say the safeword if he really doesn’t want you to, and when he stays quiet you raise yourself up a little more and line the head of his cock up with your weeping slit. You hold your pussy lips open with your fingers, easing your thighs down and pressing the head into you and—

“Oh—oh—oh, fuck, oh fuck, Ushi—“ you stutter out helplessly.

It’s been almost two weeks since he last fucked you. One week, six days and about three hours, and at the moment this measure of time seems unreasonably important because it’s been almost two weeks since you last let Ushijima split you in half with his ridiculously huge cock.

You’re not ready, should’ve prepped more, should’ve let him make you cum like he said—fuck, it feels like you’re losing your virginity—and the mixture of dismay and relief that spills over you when the thick swell of his head pushes past that tight ring of muscle is almost nauseating.

The tip? Seriously, just the fucking tip, and you’re already delirious, shaking, your thighs quivering on either side of his. It’s taking all of your strength to keep from going slack—but you know if you do, his whole cock is going to slide up into you and even thinking about that has your cunt clenching and unclenching around what you’re able to fit inside.

“Do you need help?” Despite the strain in Ushijima’s voice at being teased like this, there’s an undercurrent of amusement. He clearly doesn’t have faith in your ability to take him deeper by yourself.

It’s this—this quiet arrogance, this belief that he knows what’s best for you and he’s the only one who can give it to you—that gives you the guts to convince yourself to lower yourself down onto his his cock until you’re literally gasping for air. It fucking hurts, but you’re not going to give him the satisfaction of hearing you say it; instead, you brace your hands against the stiff muscle of his chest and try to focus on the way his cockhead is pressing into your g-spot.

Halfway…he’s gotta be at least halfway in, right? You sneak a glance up at him and bite back a curse at the look on his face, serious as ever, so focused on the place where your pussy is reluctantly eating up his cock that you feel your insides tense up around him again.

You don’t even know how it’s possible for you to get tighter around him but somehow you must be able to, because you hear Ushijima grunt underneath you, and his muscles contract under your palms as he tries again to sit up. When he can’t, he hisses in frustration. “Move…now. Or I won’t be able to control myself.”

Funny, aren’t you supposed to be the one controlling him? But it sure as hell doesn’t feel that way when you’re barely able to stay upright just from trying to ride his cock. You nod desperately, chin jutting up and down like a bobblehead, and lift your hips up off his cock until just the tip is left inside. When you push yourself back down you can’t help whimpering at the feeling of him stretching you, sliding up into you, that stiff, wet cockhead dragging over your g-spot.

By now the pain has faded into an uncomfortable stretch, like leaning too heavily into a foreign pose in yoga, enough that you’re able to feel the arousal building in the pit of your belly and hold onto it as you rock your hips up and down him. The pace is slow—almost too slow; you marvel at yourself for wanting it faster—and there’s a fair amount of Ushijima’s cock that you’re not able to take, but this is really all you can handle.

“Mmm, Ushi, fuck, you’re so big, so big and hard inside me, feels so good on your cock—“ you moan, knowing you sound less like the dominant partner in this position and more like you’re teasing him, pushing his limits.

Ushijima’s breathing is heavy. Labored. He’s trying to hold himself back. “(Y/N), deeper—take me deeper, now.”

Part of your brain vaguely recognizes that he isn’t supposed to be giving the orders here, but you’re too drunk on the feeling of fucking yourself on his cock to complain, so you lower your hips and try, but it feels like you’re just too weak to do it yourself. “Ushi please, it’s too much, too big, I can’t, please—“

And your pleading must sound like an invitation, because his eyes flash and you feel him shifting the position of his legs behind you—and then he bucks his hips up and his cock sinks into your cunt, pushing up into your gooey insides until the head is pressing into the tight opening of your cervix.

“Ahn—?” you squeal, startled. What? He—what? Fuck, it’s deep, it’s so deep, you can’t hold yourself up so you flop downward, holding onto his shoulders for dear life, “ohhh Ushi pleasepleaseplease” and you barely hear yourself over the lubed-up slap of his pelvis against your skin.

Fuck, it feels like he’s knocking the breath out of you. Feels like you can’t fucking breathe like his cock isn’t just pushing against your stomach but your lungs too, can’t breathe so you bear down on his shoulders try to hold yourself up try to let yourself adjust but—

Ushijima’s in control now.

Not that he ever wasn’t, you’d think if you were capable of thinking except you’re not because as you try to situate yourself make yourself relax around that monster cock filling you up, he’s not giving you a moment to catch your breath, instead thrusting up into you at his usual breakneck pace. Apparently he doesn’t need to use his hands to make you bounce—you’re not even moving yourself now, just trying to hold still as his hips slam his cock inside you again and again and again, and again, rubbing up against that sweet spot in your pussy so quickly that you think you might go crazy from it.

“Nngh, so tight,” he growls, and you can tell from the way the words are choked out that he’s gritting his teeth. You almost want to roll your eyes—of course you’re tight, anyone would feel tight around him—but it feels like if you do your eyes might roll back in your head so you don’t.

Jesus fuck, you can’t even understand how long it’s been but you do know that it’s absurd for you to want to cum already, only the thick mass of his cock pushing into you is somehow hitting all the right buttons, just like it always does. Even if it’s rough you want more. By now you’re trying to meet his thrusts, rolling your hips in time with him fucking you open, doing your best to participate but really it’s all you can do to even stay still with how roughly he’s fucking you. “Ushi, fuck, so deep, wanna cum I wanna cum please let me cum—“

“Touch yourself,” he commands breathlessly because he’s still tied to the headboard and he can’t do it, and you barely have the strength to pick one of your hands up off of where you’re scratching into his shoulder and pull it down to rub at your clit.

It’s not enough and you whimper desperately, you don’t want your own fingers, you want Ushijima’s, you want him to touch you. You’re probably saying it out loud by now, begging him to put his hands on you—his eyes widen and then the sound of the metal cuff chain grating over wood reaches you—you can see the skin of his wrists get lighter from lack of blood flow, he’s pulling at the cuffs, pulling too hard, he’s going to hurt himself, you have to stop him—and then you hear a snap.

Aw, shit. The bed.

The thought comes in a singular moment of clarity as you watch the rung Ushijima’s chained to separate itself from the rest of the headboard, splintering, the nail that held it in place looking pathetically flimsy next to the veins bulging in his arms as he slides the chain away from it. He flexes his hands, forming fists and then unclenching them to restore the interrupted blood flow, and then you’ve only got a second to prepare yourself before he’s upright, dragging your hips up to meet his.

“Ushi, Ushi, Ushi, I want, please, I want you,” you beg, but you didn’t really have to because you’re pretty sure there’s no force on Earth that could stop him from holding you up so he can fuck down into you with a ferocity that could be mistaken for anger if you weren’t certain it was really lust.

The entire bed is creaking and rocking against the force of his movement, but you don’t really have the headspace to worry about more property damage considering he’s got you supporting yourself on the mattress on your back and shoulders, your spine curled up so he can kneel and still have your hips aligned with his, your legs dangling bonelessly on either side of him.

Fuck. Holy fuck. You open your mouth but words don’t come out, only a choked whimper, but if you could speak you’d be saying yesyesyesyesyes, touch me.

Despite your inability to speak, Ushijima picks up on what you need and then along with his cock carving its way in and out of you you’re getting the feeling of his fingers padding over your clit. Rough and callused, not gentle, nothing like the way you touched yourself earlier, but you’re starting to realize you don’t mind the aggression. In fact, it’s good, it’s so good, so good you’re gonna cum.

You’re gonna cum.

A long, drawn-out whine is spilling out of your lips before you can stop it; you wrap your hand over your own mouth out of shame or maybe courtesy to your neighbors (although by now they’ve probably invested in earplugs after listening to you squeal like a pig on Ushijima’s cock dozens of times in the past). Still, as your climax rocks through you shove your thumb between your teeth to bite down on it, but the sharp pain is nothing compared to the pleasure.

“Ushiiiii—“ you sob around your own fingers. Your spine arches—or rather, you try to arch your back but you can’t, not with Ushijima’s full body weight pressing into you and keeping you pinned to the mattress.

It hurts, it feels good, you’re seeing stars, you’re hearing Ushijima snarl as your pussy tightens up and convulses on his cock. His one-handed grip on your ass gets painfully tight as he abandons whatever pretense of restraint he had left and pumps his cock into you so hard and fast you’re pretty sure the headboard isn’t going to be the only thing broken, but you don’t fucking care because you’re cumming, you’re cumming, you’re cumming so hard you think you black out for a second, holy fuck.

It’s only when you hear Ushijima’s panting breath and feel him pulling your hand away from your mouth that you regain your grip on reality. “You’re bleeding,” he says, holding your hand up and inspecting the shallow indentations your teeth made on your thumb.

“…You broke my bed,” you reply tiredly once you’ve gotten in a lungful of air, what feels like the first full breath you’ve been able to take since he put his cock inside you.

“I’m sorry,” Ushijima tells you, although he doesn’t look particularly sorry.

You roll your eyes. “Did you cum?”

“Yes. When you did.” Without him holding you up there’s nothing to prevent you from sliding down off his softening (but still unfairly impressive) cock. You’re certainly not strong enough to keep yourself in position.

Even if he hadn’t confirmed it, you’d still be able to feel the familiar heat of his semen plastering your insides, and once your still-sensitive pussy is exposed to the cool air your inner muscles squeeze involuntarily but hard enough to force some of his cum out—you sense it, hot and thick, dripping out of your pussy to smear against your thighs. “Can we take a bath?” you ask, knowing you’ll barely be able to walk over to the bathroom, much less stand under the shower unassisted.

Ushijima nods and moves off the bed. “I can carry you,” he adds when you try to stand up and your knees almost give out before you flop back onto the mattress.

At this angle, with you sitting and him standing in front, it’s difficult not to see that despite cumming literally less than two minutes ago, he’s already getting stiff again. Jesus, is he even human? After how hard you just came, the thought of letting him fuck you again is giving you something stronger than butterflies, but you look up at him and offer anyway. “Wait, do you…um, want to go for another round?”

Ushijima’s gaze meets yours and then travels over your body underneath him. You must look like a mess—sweaty, hair all fucked up and tangled, body still shaking with the aftershocks of your climax and barely able to sit comfortably on your aching pussy—and you guess he sees how jittery (nervous?) you feel because for the first time since your relationship started, he shakes his head to turn down an offer of sex. “No, I’ll take care of it. Let’s clean up first.”

“Okay,” you sigh, releasing a breath you didn’t realize you were holding and raising your arms to let him pick you up.

“(Y/N).”

When Ushijima doesn’t move to carry you, you frown. “Hm?”

“The cuffs.”

Oh, right. The black leather is wrapped around both of his wrists, chain still intact. Apparently these cuffs are stronger than your headboard. Good quality. Too bad they’re going in the trash. You make quick work of the release and then undo the straps carefully, massaging over the light pink marks on your boyfriend’s wrists once they’re free.

“Sorry, did it hurt you? I didn’t mean to—I mean, I just wanted…” You trail off, feeling infinitely embarrassed that despite all your claims of dominating him, he still ended up with the upper hand, cuffs or no cuffs. And you liked submitting to him. There’s no denying that.

“It didn’t. And…I enjoyed having you on top,” Ushijima tells you, lifting you effortlessly into a princess-carry now that his arms are free.

“Yeah right. We’re never using those again,” you scoff, tucking your head into his chest as he carries you to the bathroom. “My boss is going to get mad that I keep taking sick days every time I have sex with you. I’m just going to throw the cuffs out.”

From your position, so close to him, you can barely see the upward quirk of his mouth that would be as good as laughter for anyone else. “Don’t get rid of them. I think…next time, I would like to have you wearing them, (Y/N).”

Well, fuck.

#ushijima x reader #ushijima wakatoshi x reader #haikyuu x reader #haikyuu imagines #hq x reader #ShiratorizawaFanweek2020 #haikyuu #haikyuu!!#hq #hq!!#ushijima #ushijima wakatoshi #ushiwaka #ushiwaka x reader #haikyuu!! x reader #hq imagines #haikyuu!! imagines

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katsukisprincess-archive · 4 years

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The Backseat | Tamaki x Reader

a/n: hello! this is a reupload from my old blog, katsukisprincess. there will be a part two for this piece so that paired with a request to reupload has brought us here <3 please enjoy and let me know if you’d like to be tagged for part two!

summary: The time for your graduation vacation has finally come- a week to spend with your friends before you start your careers as Pros. When you’re about to head to the beach, you realize that you’ll be sitting right with your long time crush, Tamaki Amajiki. The catch? There’s barely room for both of you back there.

wc: 2.8k

warnings: dirty talk, slight dry humping

There was nothing that sounded worse to Tamaki than spending three hours in a cramped car, even if the end destination was his favorite beach. You had this trip planned for months before graduating; Tamaki, Mirio, Neijre, and a few other classmates were over the moon at the idea of spending the first few days of freedom on vacation. Still… there wasn’t a bigger form of transportation available?

“We’ll have to squeeze in the back.” You motioned between the seats, which you could see partially over mountains of luggage from your spot standing next to the vehicle. Tamaki was beside you, hands buried deep in his pockets and his lips pressed into a straight line, as emotional as he is emotionless. “Mirio had to put one of the three seats down to fit the surfboards, but the two seats should be big enough.”

Your sentence trailed off in volume as you realized how cramped it just might be. You’d rather it be with Tamaki than anyone else, you decided, and knew he felt the same. On your way back inside to get the rest of your things, you did your best to calm your racing heart and drifting thoughts.

Three hours pressed up against the man you’ve craved for years.

How bad could it be?

***

“I’m sorry. I know this is going to be uncomfortable, I-”

Tamaki cut you off as he crawled onto the seat, just barely half of his bottom fitting, the other half hanging off and being shoved against the harsh board material next to him. “Stop apologizing. I’d rather be here than… up there.”

He let out a sigh as he nodded in the direction of Mirio and Nejire, who were starting their karaoke before the car was even running. The stacked bags and coolers made it so that only the tops of their heads were visible, and you could tell that the stress of the drive was nearly falling off of him at the joy of having the barrier.

“You guys good back there? Deku said their car is even worse than ours, can you believe that?” Mirio chirped from the driver’s seat, putting his hand on the back of the passenger headrest to get a good view at the two of you squished in the corner.

“We’re good, Mirio, thanks!” You responded, sticking your hand up with a peace sign to let him know you were hearing him. He threw up his thumb in response, and almost immediately, the sounds of Nejire’s babbling was drowned out by the running engine. With the scent of saltwater lingering off of the beach equipment and flooding your senses, you leaned your head against the window and tried to doze off.

The first hour of the trip was just as uncomfortable as you were expecting. You could tell how hard it was for Tamaki to balance himself with how little of the seat he had, so you kept trying to shove yourself hard against the side of the car to give him more room. It was an endless cycle of you realizing how intolerable his position was and him realizing how much you were hurting yourself to try to make it better for him.

A thought crossed his mind- no, he couldn’t. He pushed his thoughts out of his head the best he could, but anytime he saw you flinch as a bump on the road sent your harder against the plastic wall, his heart lurched even more than your presence caused to begin with. He was overwhelmed by the scent of your shampoo wafting in his direction from the cracked window, and after one particularly rough movement, he took advantage of his blurred senses.

“Sit on my lap.”

Your head snapped to face him. What did he just say?

It was so low, so quiet, that you could tell he was trying to be private with it. There wasn’t a chance in hell that they would hear you up front with their insane volume, but still, you played along.

“What?”

“I-” Tamaki stopped and sighed, gathering his words before continuing. “There isn’t enough room. If you… if you sit on my lap, we’ll both b-be comfortable?”

Was it a question or a statement? You wanted him to look you in the eyes, but it seemed he was slowly crawling back into the shell that he had lived in for so long. He felt bold at first, but as soon as he saw your questioning gaze with your parted, wet lips, he lost every ounce of confidence.

This was very visible to you. He was right, though- sitting on his lap would give you both the room and comfort that you had been aching for this entire drive. Even if you were comfortable, which you obviously were not, you would regret giving up the chance to sit on Tamaki fucking Amajiki’s lap for the rest of your life if you didn’t hop onto him like a horse right this second.

Unfortunately, your actions were much more humble than your thoughts. You lifted yourself off of the seat as gently as you could with the car still in motion, giving Tamaki the opportunity to slide himself under you. When you sat back down, you lowered yourself onto one of his thighs, feeling terribly small against his frame.

It was an awkward situation, for a moment, trying to figure out how to position yourself against him, but when Tamaki slid one arm around your waist and pulled you against his chest, it fell into place very nicely. He smelled like fresh laundry and trails of food, which you were sure he had more of somewhere close to the seat. If Tamaki was anything at all, he was hungry.

“Is this better?” You whispered, trying to not invade his privacy too much. His heart was racing against you, and even though he was avoiding eye contact with every ounce of restraint he had, you were pleased to feel his arm grip tighter against you when the bumps on the road strayed you off of his embrace.

“Much.” Tamaki’s voice was strained, and it took all of three seconds for you to realize that it wasn’t the only thing that was. His cock was thick against the side of your thigh, and you couldn’t tell if he wasn’t moving because he was enjoying it or whether he was paralyzed with embarrassment.

When he still wouldn’t look at you, you began to wonder if he was waiting for you to adjust yourself the entire time. Using the back of the seat as leverage, you pushed yourself off of him, finally causing him to meet your eyes. Instead of looking grateful like you were expecting, or even embarrassed, he looked almost upset. Words weren’t forming for him, so in an attempt to bring you back to where you started, he pushed his leg up by the toe of his shoe, causing his leg to bounce and causing you to move with it.

You didn’t have time to cover your mouth to stop the noise that broke free from your throat as his movements caused your panties to drag against your clit.

In a normal moment, it would have been just any other shift in position. But the discovery of how long and thick Tamaki was had you riled up, as if sitting on him in the first place didn’t do the trick. You could feel a pulsing in your cunt as you sat there, mortified to have made such a raw sound in front of one of your best friends. You wondered what he would do… would he throw you off of him? You couldn’t blame him. In this moment, you wanted the planet to swallow you whole and erase any memory of-

Tamaki’s hand lightly slapping your bare thigh pulled you from your reverie.

Opening your eyes and pulling your head up from where it was buried in your hands, you met his gaze with confusion. He patted it again, and this time your stomach nearly dropped through your ass when you knew what he wanted, which was for you to straddle his thigh. You were in a sundress, a closet staple for such a vacation, so the idea of exposing yourself so greatly was daunting, to say the least.

Noticing you were silently debating, Tamaki raised a hand and grabbed onto your chin, directing you to look him right in the eyes. His pupils were blown, his mouth hanging open with his tongue coming out to run against his already wet lips. His face was so close to yours, so close, that you weren’t able to take your gaze off of his mouth when his hot breath was fanning against you.

“I could feel how wet you were since you sat down, don’t play n-nice now.” With his words still barely above a whisper, and his grip on your chin not as harsh as you wish it was, you could tell that he was still nervous about what was happening. While his request seemed lewd, there was a shine in his eyes and a lingering in his voice that let you know that this was something he had been thinking about for far too long. He wouldn’t have risked something so out of character in front of his friends otherwise.

There was a need in the way he suddenly brought you forward for your first kiss, but there was a desperation in the way that he was internally begging for you to return the colossal heap of feelings that had been growing in his heart for you for too long. Things were changing with graduation passed, and he had one chance to secure you in his future.

His lips were softer than anyone you had kissed before. It made sense, now that you thought about it, as you remembered all of the times you would peek over at him and see him gently applying chapstick. You wondered if that was the hint that you tasted on him, a soft mix of medicinal balm and the bottled tea he was sipping on throughout the ride. It was an odd combination, but when his tongue tangled with yours for the first time, you knew that it was going to be one that you never forgot.

You shifted yourself to straddle Tamaki’s thigh as he continued to kiss you. His hands sat limp for awhile, unsure of what to do, really, but the second he felt your hot center on his skin, right under the hemline of his shorts, he let his lust direct him. The new position had him spreading his legs out, allowing his heavy cock to press above the knee you had burrowed between his own. Both of his large hands found home on your hips and began pulling and pushing you along him, starting a slow rhythm of your panties pulling against your sensitive, swollen bud once again.

Everything was happening so fast, both in the moment and in terms of your relationship, that Tamaki found himself exhaling and leaning his head back against the seat. You began to worry when his eyes fluttered closed and forced him to stop his movements.

“Tamaki, do you want me to stop?”

Immediately, his head was shaking. He was mumbling, something you knew he did when he was trying to sort out his thoughts. Finally, after licking his lips a few times, he found what he wanted to say. While it was only one word, it spoke the weight of a novel, telling you everything you needed to know about his feelings and giving you the reassurance that you needed to tie the loose ends together in your heart.

“Never.”

With more force than you had ever seen him apply to you, Tamaki grabbed your leg that was between his legs and forced it up and around his hip. One quick pull by your ass had you seated right on his dick, which felt impossibly harder than before. His eyes wandered up and over the luggage in front of you to where your friends were driving, checking to see whether they were still immersed in their road trip games. Thankfully, they were, giving him all of the motivation he needed to grab your hair in his fist and yank your head back.

His kisses started soft on your neck, but the way he suckled down the skin where your heart was beating the loudest was anything but. His grip on your hair allowed him access to the entirety of your upper body, and by the time a few minutes had passed, you were sure that he had laid a kiss on absolutely every inch of it.

Your hips began moving against his, grinding down and causing him to buck right back up. It began as smooth, soft movements, learning each other's bodies and motions and desires, but it was quick to turn into the roughest dry humping that you had ever seen. You laced your fingers behind his neck for leverage as he pulled your dress straps off of your shoulders, allowing him to slip it off just enough to latch onto one of your nipples. You pulled against his neck as he sucked, continuing to roll against him and swallow the moans that threatened to expose you both.

“I want to be inside of you so badly.” Tamaki whispered around your nipple, letting out the softest of groans. You were both panting at this point, hands grabbing onto whatever would help you drag along each other’s bodies more fluidly. Any makeup you had applied that morning around your mouth was gone, foundation off of your cheeks and chin as his wet kisses dominated you and left you breathless.

Pushing him back against the seat you grabbed the button of his shorts, releasing the zipper just so that his cock was straight up against his abdomen. You lowered your cunt onto him and rolled your hips up, aligning yourself just right so that it dragged against your clit deliciously. Tamaki seemed to like it as well, and he found a bruising grip on your hips to help you move.

“We have the next two weeks.” You whispered, setting your forearms on his shoulders and threading your digits through his hair. A good thrust had you setting your forehead against his and exhaling, feeling pent up from how hard it was to stay quiet.

Tamaki’s eyes rolled back into his head as your pace grew faster, grinding against his cock with a desperation that he had never felt before. He was growing faster to cumming than he wanted to admit, not knowing that you would be releasing yourself any minute. He tried to speak, but his words were breathy and chaotic. “After that. All the weeks. Forever.”

You crashed your lips onto his as you hit your peak, your hips stuttering against him and hands pulling at his hair. In your rapid movements, you brushed against the tips of his ears, and all of the stimulation across his body had him cumming into his boxers. He thrusted up hard when he came, lifting you up into the air and in dangerously close view of your friends up front. All of your sounds were, hopefully, swallowed by each other's mouths, Tamaki having sucked down on your tongue so hard that you were seeing stars.

It took a minute to calm down, but once you were both breathing normally again, you pulled back to share a shocked expression with him. He looked blissed out, but when his eyes trailed down to your neck and your chest, his eyes widened and all of the color drained from his skin. To see what he was seeing, you pulled your phone out of the cup holder next to you and opened up the camera.

It wasn’t terrible, but there were multiple hickies trailing down your neck and across your chest. It wasn’t something that you would be able to hide from your friends, especially at a beach of all places. While Tamaki’s stomach felt like it was dropped through the bottom of the car and onto the highway, you could only giggle and kiss his cheek.

“That’ll be an interesting one to tell over dinner.”

#tamaki amajiki x reader #amajiki tamaki x reader #amajiki x reader #tamaki x reader #suneater x reader #my hero academia #mha #boku no hero academia #bnha

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immaturityofthomasastruc · 4 years

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#5: The One With Astruc's Self-Insert

In my introductory post, I said the main inspiration for this blog was @hypocrisyofandrewdobson. For those who don't know, Andrew Dobson is an infamous webcomic artist known for drawing webcomics that tend to demonize people he's come across in public or people who disagree with him online (either critical of his art or his political views), while portraying himself as the victim or wise man calling them out on their differing beliefs.

If you want to learn more about this guy who I consider to be far worse than Astruc, check out the blog in question. And no, I don't know why he draws himself as a blue bear.

Why am I talking about this? It's one thing for some schmuck on the internet to use his work to respond to criticism, but the creator of a popular animated series dedicating an entire episode to attacking his critics and trying to get others to feel bad for him is another story.

The second episode of Miraculous Ladybug's third season, “Animaestro” served as a wake-up call for fans (myself included) to make them realize how immature Astruc could be. The plot centers around the premiere of a movie about Ladybug and Cat Noir directed by Thomas Astruc, who voices himself in the original French dub.

And this isn't just a brief cameo like what Stan Lee did in the MCU. Astruc is the Akumatized person this episode, so there's naturally a lot of focus on him. Throughout the first half of the episode, Astruc portrays himself as this timid man who nobody recognizes or respects, like this idiot who doesn't know what animation is.

Doorman: This is a private event, sir.

Astruc: Huh? Excuse me? I'm Thomas Astruc, the movie director.

Doorman: You filmed Cat Noir and Ladybug? What are they like in real life?

Astruc: Er, it's an animated movie. It's all cartoon characters. We don't actually film anyone. See, there's this whole team that draw the chara—

Doorman: Whatever. Who would want to see Ladybug and Cat Noir as cartoon characters?

Get it? Wasn't that meta joke hilarious? This is how much I was laughing:

youtube

And Astruc continues to get about as much respect as Rodney Dangerfield when he interacts with other characters like Jagged Stone and Chloe.

Jagged Stone: Ladybug is one of my best buds! I can't wait to see her movie!

Astruc: Well I—I'm the director, so actually it's more my movie, so to speak.

Jagged Stone: Oh, so you're the one who created the story?

Astruc: Well, technically the screen writers wrote the story, inspired by Ladybug's exploits.

Jagged Stone: Oh, okay. So you did all the drawings?

Thomas: No, no. The animators do all the drawings.

Jagged Stone: So what do you do then?

(Later on...)

Chloe: So you're the one responsible for this movie?

Astruc: Yes, yes! Exactly! That's me!

Chloe: Then you were the one who left Queen Bee out of the trailer. You're lame, utterly lame.

I can't believe Astruc had a scene where he interacted with Chloe and didn't insult her at all.

The episode is determined to make the audience feel bad for Astruc. Nobody respects him and what he does. Isn't that saaaaaad? Nobody cares about animated film directors like Walt Disney or Tex Avery anyway. Not even these stupid children understand how hard Astruc works.

Several Children: Ladybug! Where's Ladybug?

Astruc: Hey there, kids!

Teacher: Ladybug isn't here children. We came here to meet the director of the movie. Children: (frowning in disappointment) Aww.

(Astruc looks visibly disappointed.)

Way to insult your primary demographic, Astruc. I thought you said kids have a better understanding of these stories when people criticized the writing of a certain episode (It's that scene in “Puppeteer 2” if you're curious/don't value your sanity).

It's almost like you're using that as an excuse to half-ass your work while still getting to claim this show is so groundbreaking.

In case you can't tell, “Animaestro” is one of those episodes. The ones where the showrunners decide to dedicate an entire episode to attacking critics of the show in a blunt fashion. Whenever a show addresses criticism, they either create an obvious strawman character to parrot the opinions of fans who don't like their work, or have someone defend the show and insult the critics directly.

youtube

The problem isn't that they're ignoring criticism. It's their show, and they aren't obligated to listen to critics or fans who don't like the direction the show is taking. On the other hand, they aren't obligated to fight back like this and treat their audience like crap. Any show that does something like the three clips I showed you usually comes off as petty and immature because they dedicate so much time to insulting the critics.

Even during the Akuma fight, Astruc has to call out Ladybug for having problems with his movie in-universe, obviously representing critics of the show Astruc claims have no right to criticize the show while it's still airing.

Ladybug: What's with that trailer too? I am not scared of cats, at all.

Astruc/Animaestro: You haven't even seen the movie and you're already slamming it?

Cat Noir: He does have a point, you know.

Ladybug: I wasn't slamming it. It's called constructive criticism!

Yeah, how dare Ladybug be angry that this movie is portraying her as a powerless coward dependent on Cat Noir as opposed to a confident and brave superhero. She just doesn't understand the genius of Thomas Astruc!

And of course the character Astruc claims is “perfect” is the one to take his side.

And that's another problem with this episode, the metatextual references. Before he gets akumatized, Astuc says he spent three years of his life working on his movie. I get that time in this show is weird (we somehow had episodes taking place on the first day of school, Christmas, Valentine's Day, and the first day of Summer), but how did Astruc's self-insert work on a movie based on a superhero who has only been active for a year? Meta-wise, it's an obvious reference to the scorn Astruc has gotten from fans after working so hard on his show, but the only people who would get that reference are the ones who are aware of Astruc's reputation online.

Self-Insert aside, I actually think the titular Animaestro is one of the more visually impressive Akumas featured on the show. Animaestro takes on several forms based off several different forms and eras of animation, like flash, anime, rubber hose, and they all stand out. Granted, some of them are obvious parodies of other characters like Goku or Sailor Moon, but the actual Akuma fight is fun to watch. According to the Mexican Miraculous Ladybug Twitter account, this episode took two and a half years to create, and it shows. It's too bad the story behind it is completely insufferable, almost like the cartoon equidistant to Pixels.

But then comes the part that honestly makes the episode worth it, mainly for how unintentionally hilarious it is. Do you want to know what Animaestro's weakness is? Do you really want to know?

Animaestro is physically incapable of moving unless someone is watching him. I am not making this up.

Ladybug and Cat Noir literally defeat Animaestro by getting everyone to stop paying attention to him.

I could make so many jokes with this, but I can guarantee you're already thinking of something just as good, if not better, than whatever I write.

And there's the end where Astruc gives Marinette his ticket to the movie, which prompts Marinette to kiss up to him for no real reason.

Astruc: Sorry, I guess you don't know who I am either.

Marinette: Of course do. You're Thomas Astruc, the movie director!

Astruc: She recognized me. Somebody actually recognized me!

Nothing happened to make her change her opinion on the Ladybug movie, she didn't really say anything to him earlier in the episode that connects to this exchange, and outside of a few lines Animaestro said, she doesn't even know why he got akumatized (even though ironically she and Chloe accidentally contributed to it because of the awful subplot involving Kagami I talked about last time). If anything, it comes off less like she actually appreciates Astruc's work, and more like she's stroking his ego just to keep him from getting akumatized again.

So yeah, this episode is awful, and the fact that it came out right after the controversial “Chameleon” only proved to show what kind of direction the show was taking this season.

But honestly, even if Astruc still wanted to make about how he doesn't get enough respect the episode could have potentially. All he had to do was make a simple change: Instead of making it about validation for Astruc as a creator, make it about validation for animation in general.

It's a common misconception that animation is only used for shows and movies aimed at children, so the episode could reflect it. Instead of the huge turnout where several celebrities appear at the premiere, instead, the turnout could be a lot smaller, with the media dismissing it as some stupid kiddie flick. Instead of getting akumatized because he gets humiliated in public/getting no respect from anyone else, Astruc gets akumatized because he sees the audience didn't go wild for the movie after the premiere. All he can hear them say is that it's just “kids stuff”.

So when Astruc is Animaestro, he goes on about how important animation is. How it's helped produce propaganda since World War II. How it helped improve special effects in big blockbusters. How the medium is used to create movies that simply can't be filmed on a physical set.

After defeating Animaestro, Ladybug shows up to talk to him. She had seen the movie earlier, and actually enjoyed it. She had a few problems with the story, but they were just minor nitpicks and inaccuracies Astruc wouldn't know about, and she was blown away by the animation. She tells Astruc not to be deterred by his critics, and continue to do what he does. As a designer in her civilian life, Ladybug knows the joy creating brings her, and both she and Astruc want to spread that joy through their work.

Back at the premiere, Astruc thinks about what Ladybug said to him when he sees some kids reenacting a scene from the movie. Astruc walks over to them and asks what they thought of the movie. They said they loved it and how energetic it was. When he tells them he is the director, the kids' faces light up and they say they want to do what he does when they grow up, bringing a smile to Astruc's face.

Isn't that a much more humble approach instead of what we got? It would have helped Astruc come across as more sympathetic, especially with animation fans. But instead, we got an entire episode of Astruc whining about how misunderstood he is.

And you know the footage used for the movie at the beginning? Remember that, because I have a huge rant about it saved for a later post.

For now, here’s an example of a creator appearing in his work done right.

youtube

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sevenkittensinatrenchcoat · 3 years

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Modern Munkustraps and Why 2016 Misto Is Boring (And Also Why Tugger Is Less Good Now)

So, yeah, this is a very long, poorly edited essay that is basically just me writing down a bunch of feelings about the Broadway Revival and why it doesn’t work for me. Of course, it’s not the worst thing out there and everyone can like what they like, but here’s one big reason why I don’t like this particular thing.

So, I’ve mentioned that, having seen the whole thing, I don’t particularly like the 2016 Broadway Revival of Cats. I adore the cast, I appreciate the effort everyone clearly put into it, and some individual numbers work well enough out of context, but it’s a case of strong parts forming a weak whole.

One of the problems I had with it was with the character of Mistoffelees. It should be clear to anyone looking around this blog that Mistoffelees is my favorite character in the show. I hate insulting any Mistoffelees, which is why 2019 Mistoffelees frustrates me so much. The moment I realized I’d become a fan of Cats was when I was genuinely angry when I learned that Tom Hooper cast a non-dancer as Mistoffelees. Basically, problems with Mistoffelees will motivate me to rant.

In 2016, the problem with Mistoffelees isn’t the choreography. I prefer the original to the new stuff, but Misto’s material was fine. Ricky Ubeda completely nailed the dance part of the role. Broadway Revival Misto is still worlds above Tom Hooper’s Misto in every way. Really, the problem with 2016 Misto is that it often feels like he isn’t there. He has very little presence. His dancing is impressive, and his dynamic with Tugger is cute and fun, but he has no real personality outside of it. I don’t know how he feels about any character other than Tugger. There are no moments that center around him other than his dance solos. He doesn’t seem to have much of an arc when it comes to saving the day at the end. Is he already confident in his magical abilities? Is he still unsure of himself? Is he trying to prove himself? How does he feel about anything that happens to or around him?

As a show with a large ensemble cast, it’s impossible for every single character to feel fully developed. But, in shows/stories with large ensemble casts, there are always a few characters who stand out. Instead of a single protagonist with one big arc, you have several main characters with their own small arcs. Munkustrap is the group’s leader who has to fight to defend his tribe. Demeter has survived an abusive relationship and she confronts her abuser and starts to move on, finding a potential partner who she can trust. In the 1998 film, at least, Mungojerrie has an interesting arc. He used to work for Macavity, but he left. When Macavity shows up, Jerrie’s terrified of him. He knows what he’s capable of and probably witnessed some really messed up shit. But, when Munkustrap is wounded and Alonzo is struggling to fight Macavity on his own, Jerrie is the first cat to join the fight. He doesn’t do very well, but this inspires other cats to help out as well, and Macavity is eventually outnumbered and forced to flee.

Mistoffelees is another character with an arc. He’s coming of age, no longer a child but not really an adult either. He’s trying to prove himself and be seen as an adult. He has magical powers, but he still struggles to control them and doesn’t know exactly what he’s capable of. Outside of magic and dancing, he’s awkward and doesn’t fit in socially with neither the kittens nor the adults.

When Old Deuteronomy is kidnapped, and everything seems hopeless, Mistoffelees really isn’t participating in the action. Although he’s publicly done magic before and other cats have noticed, Tugger’s suggestion that Mistoffelees might be able to help is dismissed by most of the group at first. But, Tugger is completely confident in Misto’s abilities. He’s the first cat to believe in him that much. Tugger hypes up Misto and his confidence builds until he’s willing to try using magic to bring Old Deuteronomy back and succeeds. He’s a hero now, and he’s known to have a skill that no one else possesses. He’s respected by the tribe. As someone who can be consulted in emergencies, Mistoffelees can now be seen as an adult.

Now, Mistoffelees didn’t always have this arc. The Originial Broadway Misto comes across as completely confident in his abilities the whole time. Actors who played Misto in the 80s tended to play him as the same age as Munkustrap, already one of the adults and already established in the tribe. But, starting in the early 90s, some actors started to play Misto younger and less secure. By the time the filmed 1998 production was done, that had become the standard way to play Misto. I think the actors cast in the role wanted to make things more interesting, since Misto getting Old Deuteronomy back is a bit of an anticlimax. There’s a problem. It’s solved immediately. On with the show. But this was a big, spectacle-heavy number near the end of the show. It feels like it should mean something, but it just doesn’t. Old Deuteronomy is easily returned to the tribe and then Memory happens and makes everything else seem meaningless.

But, what if Mister Mistoffelees wasn’t about getting Old Deuteronomy back? What if Mister Mistoffelees was actually about Mister Mistoffelees. Having the song be a moment when a young cat comes of age makes it feel like the song means something, even if the stuff with Old Deuteronomy is anticlimactic. Since it happens late in the show, there’s plenty of time to build up to it. Misto is on stage for most of the musical. His character can be established. We can see him trying to prove himself and failing to socially connect with the other cats. So, when he does prove himself and he does gain the approval of the cats who dismissed him as a weirdo, it’s satisfying. The song has a bigger impact when Mistoffelees is portrayed as a young man coming of age.

So, what does any of this have to do with the Broadway Revival? Why does the title of this essay mention Munkustrap when the essay itself is mostly about Mistoffelees?

Well, it’s because Revival Era Munkustraps have stolen Misto’s character arc.

The Broadway Revival isn’t the only version of Cats to do this. Tecklenburg actually constructs the story around it, making Munkustrap the protagonist. It seems like the changes to Munkustrap’s character started to appear when the show started getting revived. When I say Revival Era, I mean every version of Cats put on after the London Revival in 2014, though there are naturally some outliers. This was when Grizabella was redesigned and rewritten. This was when an attempt was made to redesign and rewrite Tugger, which was thankfully abandoned soon after.

Before this era, it wasn’t really confirmed to the general public that Munkustrap and Tugger were Old Deuteronomy’s sons. They were still often portrayed that way, but it wasn’t something anyone thought viewers needed to know. The dynamic between Munkustrap and Tugger began to change now that everyone was expected to view them as siblings. Tugger, instead of messing with every authority figure on stage, now tends to single Munkustrap out. He wants to annoy his older sibling. The Tecklenburg non-replica didn’t even bother showing anyone but Munkustrap being frustrated with Tugger’s antics. The vibe you get in these productions is that Munkustrap is the older sibling who is left in charge while Dad’s not home and he’s trying to be responsible, while Tugger, as the younger sibling, is constantly messing around and annoying him.

Compare how Munkustrap and Tugger interacted during Tugger’s number in 1998 vs. 2016. In both versions, Tugger crashes the party and Munkustrap is not amused. But, in 1998, Munkustrap stands back and waits for Tugger to basically get all that rebellious energy out of his system. If he has a few moments to run wild, he’ll calm down and act up less later on. So, Munkustrap just waits it out. As for Tugger, he never directly targets Munkustrap when he’s messing with the authority figures. He targets Jenny and Jelly, and Skimble by proxy, but he leaves Munkustrap alone. Both brothers have some silent agreement not to get in each other’s way.

In 2016, most of the moments where Tugger messes with an authority figure have Munkustrap as that authority figure. He’s more focused on annoying his brother than anyone else. He and Munkustrap are sort of bickering throughout the song, with Munkustrap being one of the cats who gets the “terrible bore” line. 1998 Munkustrap wouldn’t do this. He doesn’t get the “terrible bore” line because he’s too mature to insult Tugger like that. Instead, Misto, a more immature character does it.

These two different dynamics imply that Munkustrap and Tugger are in different age groups. 1998 Munkustrap tries to take the high road when Tugger crashes the party and Tugger has enough respect for him not avoid targeting him personally. The only exception is with the bagpipes in The Pekes and the Pollicles, and he was mostly doing that to entertain the others. He starts a dance party and then gets disappointed when it doesn’t work a second time. Munkustrap was already being annoyed by everything else that was going on as well, so Tugger’s antics don’t stand out in that regard. The vibe you get is that, though Tugger does like teasing Munkustrap a bit, they have a mutual respect for one another that they both take seriously. They’re both adults, too mature to bicker.

When Tugger targets Munkustrap with his antics and Munkustrap tries to argue back, they come across like two kids bickering. They both seem younger. This means that, in general, 2016 Munkustrap is played younger than 1998 Munkustrap. 2016 Munkustrap’s arc is about him learning to be a good leader, probably hosting the ball for the first time. He wants everything to be perfect so he can prove himself to his father. His defending the tribe and being willing to give Grizabella a chance are moments when Munkustrap begins to come of age.

So, 2016 Munkustrap’s arc is that he’s a young man, just coming of age, trying to prove himself, and eventually doing so. It’s not identical to Misto’s arc, but it’s pretty close.

And this is why 2016 Misto fails to stand out. Munkustrap’s arc makes Misto’s feel redundant, so he doesn’t have it. 2016 Misto already has Tugger supporting him from the very start and never feels like he lacks confidence. But, with Misto’s arc given to Munkustrap, nothing was put in its place, so Misto no longer has an arc. You don’t have scenes of him trying to appear mature and sophisticated around Bustopher, or his awkward attempt to help Old Deuteronomy and Munkustrap defend the tribe when Macavity’s around, or any of those other little moments that give Misto personality, because he no longer has the arc that those scenes are part of. There’d be no pay-off.

Honestly, the biggest problem with this isn’t that Munkustrap is different, but that his character was given this story and the expense of another character’s arc. Munkustrap already had a smaller arc that took a backseat to his role as storyteller and protector. He’s already the perfect leader, with his only flaw being his grudge against Grizabella. The main thing Munkustrap has to learn is the moral of the entire play. Outside of that, he’s the narrator and the straight man in the more comedic numbers.

This change also isn’t very good for Tugger. Tugger is not really a character with an arc. He doesn’t change any more than anyone else does. What changes, is how the audience, and some of the other characters, perceive him. In his own number, he’s fun, but he also comes across as a bit of a jerk. He doesn’t care what other people think of him, but that means he doesn’t seem to care about upsetting them either. His interactions with his fans sometimes demonstrate this. He just casually knocks over Tumblebrutus and Pouncival, briefly uses the latter as a chair, and then knocks them over again. Tumblebrutus and Pouncival both think Tugger is awesome, so they don’t mind, but that’s not a very nice way to treat kids who look up to you, even if they don’t mind.

But, then we get to Old Deuteronomy. Tugger appears again, interrupting Munkustrap, apparently being rude again, but then you hear what he’s actually saying. He’s also narrating about and praising Old Deuteronomy. At first, it’s kind of funny, because he’s just talking about how Old D got around, but then you get this line:

And his numerous progeny prospers and thrives And the village is proud of him in his decline

When he mentions “numerous progeny” he gestures over the crowd, ending on Munkustrap. He’s one of those numerous progeny, but he never gestures to himself. He never references himself as Old Deuteronomy’s son, but he does mention Munkustrap. This is followed by “and the village is proud of him”. After the “numerous progeny” line, it’s an awkward circle back to the main topic. But, Tugger seems to address Munkustrap as he says this. In his own way, he’s telling Munkustrap that he’s doing a good job and that everyone’s proud of him.

And then, when Munkustrap and Tugger duet, Munkustrap looks so happy about it. He didn’t expect Tugger to behave and he’s thankful for it. It’s a heartwarming moment and it shows Tugger in a new light. He was inconsiderate during his own number, but now he’s showing nothing but sincere respect for his family.

But, Old Deuteronomy is the ultimate authority figure of the tribe. Everyone loves him and he outranks Tugger. Having Tugger be so sincere here, in contrast to his attitude before, is mainly to show just how beloved Old Deuteronomy is. Even a cat who delights in pissing off authority figures has nothing but respect for him. The real stand-out moment is Mister Mistoffelees.

So, after the fight with Macavity, the tribe is in pretty bad shape. Their leader has been kidnapped and their protector is wounded. And, the kittens witnessed all of it. They saw Macavity kidnap Old Deuteronomy while they could do nothing to stop it. Macavity actually attacked Etcetera and Electra, who both tried to stand up to him. Jemima was right next to Etcetera when she was hit. Then, their protector, the strength of the tribe, someone they probably saw as invincible, gets beaten up in a fight. Munkustrap, when knocked unconscious, lands right in front of Electra, the kitten who seemed to have the closest relationship to him. Electra and Rumpleteazer try to wake him up, but they can’t. Mungojerrie can’t stand it and goes to take on Macavity himself.

So, there was a lot of violence and the kittens had front row seats. Now they’re all sitting in the dark with no idea what to do.

Then, Tugger speaks up. Right away, he has a solution. Tugger starts up a musical number and you can see the kittens getting into it like they’re at a rock concert. Not only does he have a solution to the big problem the tribe is facing, but he presents it in a way that distracts the kittens from what just happened.

And this is all without mentioning the subject matter. Unlike Old Deuteronomy, Mistoffelees doesn’t outrank Tugger and he doesn’t have the universal respect of the tribe. Tugger just thinks Misto is awesome and he’s singing an entire song about it. Misto was the cat who casually insulted him during his own number, but Tugger’s ego was unaffected. Tugger responds with absolute faith and support.

And Misto needs that faith and support. Throughout the entire ball, Misto has been trying to impress the authority figures of the tribe. Tugger, with how popular he is with the younger cats, has a lot of influence over the tribe. He’s an authority figure, in a sense. But, he was the only one in that category who Misto not only didn’t try to impress, but straight-up rejected. He doesn’t care what Tugger thinks. With everyone else in his generation either wanting Tugger or wanting to be Tugger, he stands out. Tugger respects that. And, Misto gets the approval he was looking for in the one place he didn’t bother to look. Misto finally getting that approval is what builds up his confidence so he can bring back Old Deuteronomy. And then Tugger gives him all the credit.

So, the audience is introduced to a character who seems egotistical and inconsiderate. But, he’s not. He never was. Tugger does things for the lulz sometimes. He likes to make a scene and he likes to make a mess. But, the Rum Tum Tugger is artful and knowing. He pays a lot of attention to the other cats and he cares about them. He loves his family, he looks after the kittens, and he gives support to those who need it. He’s actually not that different from Munkustrap.

But, the younger Tugger who bickers with Munkustrap comes across as more genuinely immature and it makes the more sincere moments feel out of nowhere. It’s hard for someone playing a younger Tugger to remain in character during the more serious moments. It just feels like whiplash.

Tldr: So, yeah, the point of this very long essay is that 2016 Munkustrap’s character arc, which has spread to pretty much every production of Cats done in the last five years, has the side effect of making Mistoffelees boring and Tugger obnoxious. It’s an alright arc for Munkustrap, but it sacrifices the arcs of other major characters in a way that a show with an ensemble cast can’t afford to do.

#cats 2016 #cats 1998 #munkustrap #mr mistoffelees #rum tum tugger #artful and knowing #i did an essay #a very long essay #someday i'll do an essay on how 2016 fails at comedy #especially the pekes and the pollicles

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numberonephantompizza1 · 3 years

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Poppy Fanfic: “Ask Her”

For context: This is a fanfic I wrote in order to join the Poppy Milk dev team and show off my writing skills. Since the callout at the time said we’d need to write a lot of sidequests, I wanted to ask the question of what a Poppy-centered side-quest would be like. I got the idea that it would be from an Asker’s perspective, and everything sort of came naturally after that. Even though I’m on the dev team right now, it’s not canon to Omega Timeline: Poppy’s Story and even has some inaccuracies that contradict canon. With that said, please feel free to read the story below the cut.

---

You noticed something very different inside your room when you woke up. The lights were off and the sun hadn’t yet risen, but there was a certain… aura, coming from your door. You were filled with a certain trepidation, but… you approached it. It was hard to see in the light, but it looked… grey.

Swallowing the lump in your throat, you stepped through...

...and found about the last person you would’ve expected. The spitting image of Frisk - CORE!Frisk, that was, looking up at you, in the middle of a white void.

“Wh- You’re real?!” you asked, dumbfounded.

“Of course I’m real. Have you been taking all this multiverse stuff for granted? Everything is real somewhere,” Core answered, simply.

“I… I don’t… and you, me…” you panted, starting to feel a small panic attack coming on.

“Focus,” Core snapped their fingers, grounding you back in reality. Okay, this was happening now.

“Let’s get down to business. Simply: you don’t like me. And I don’t like you. But we BOTH like Poppy. Poppy, my dear, sweet angel… has unfortunately recently come to the realization that Askers ALSO exist in the multiverse. And now she wants to do a ‘meet n’ greet’ with one of her fans. Trust me, I TRIED to talk her out of it, but she can be darn persuasive when she wants to be. And as you’re now realizing, that’s where you come in.

“I wanna make you a deal. You play along with whatever Poppy wants until she gets bored of this. If you’re on your best behavior - and that means, don’t give her anything bad, don’t tell her anything you KNOW she shouldn’t know, don’t use any magic, and be a general good influence - if you play nice, in exchange, I will allow you to hang out with ANY resident of the Omega Timeline.

“Want to spend a day full of wacky hijinks with a Papyrus, or even an Underswap Sans? Consider it done. Want to know how Deltarune Chapter 2 plays out ahead of time? I know a Susie with your name on it. Whatever you want, so long as you play by the rules, and don’t ask for anyone obviously ridiculous. So… do we have ourselves a deal?”

You contemplated that offer, and everything that was happening, trying to suppress your inner urge to geek out for just a few moments. The Omega Timeline, Poppy, and all the AU’s you could think of and more were real. And you just got an invitation to visit them.

“Yeah, of course!” you nodded excitedly, though your enthusiasm only seemed to make Core more anxious.

“Don’t make me regret this…” Core sighed, as the whiteness seemed to melt away into a cozy-looking house with wooden floors and lime walls, where you were standing directly outside of a white door. Core seemed to have disappeared.

Technically, there was nothing stopping you from exploring. So you did just that. You walked up to a shelf with some family photos. One was a photo of Poppy, Core, Dusted and Rust all together, in some meadow, looking happy. At least, you assumed Dusted and Rust were happy, they didn’t show up well on camera. There was another photo of Poppy alone, looking somewhat younger than she did on the blog, seated on a chair in a photo that looked far more staged. She held an actual poppy flower in her hand and smiled brightly.

You opened the cabinet doors, curious of what knick-knacks you might find in there. Some crayons, a few random glass cups, some art by 3-year-old Poppy that was so poorly done its meaning was hard to decipher, and a locked box. You reached for the box--

“Getting a bit sidetracked, aren’t we?”

You jolted up, and faced Core behind you. Even though they were child-sized, they crossed their arms with the poise and authority of a stern parent. You laughed anxiously. “Ahahaha… ahaha… ha……..”

“...Strike one.” Core said, and vanished. The meaning of that was all-too clear. Deciding not to dilly dally any longer, you went to the room you suspected to be Poppy’s, and knocked.

“Just a sec!” Poppy said, and opened the door. She looked up at you, and gasped. “Wow, Granpa really did come through…!” She twirled excitedly. “You must be my adoring fan, aren’t you?” she asked.

You stared down at the girl in stunned silence.

“To be honest, I kinda figured you’d be some gray guy with sunglasses, but that’s kinda silly in hindsight. How you doin’?” She asked that last line in a mock accent as you continued to stare.

“Baby,” you said.

“What?”

“Nothing,” you quickly tried to change the subject. “Yeah, it’s… y’know, it’s great to be here…” You clasped your hands together, biting your lip. You were in an Undertale AU, faced with the AU granddaughter of another AU character. You still weren’t entirely over that. Was this fever dream? Fandom heaven, or fandom hell?

“I know! Once I heard you guys weren’t from the Omega Timeline, I realized I hadn’t met even ONE of my fans… even if you guys are super annoying some of the time.”

“Uhhh, yeah…” you wondered if you should apologize on behalf of the askers who put Poppy in the hospital that one time. Then again, it seemed kind of awkward, and it might have been best not to bring that up while Core was watching, which was always. Looking down at the cutesy girl, it was almost tempting to pull her into a hug, but you managed to keep your composure.

“I wanted to do something a little more special than just some sorta interview, though, because you ask me questions all the time anyways,” Poppy said. “Granpa said you’ve never been to the Omega Timeline before, so I wanna give you the big tour!” Poppy went to the door. “I’m gonna be outside when you’re ready!” She left the room.

Seeing the empty room in front of you, you were tempted to snoop again, but you’d learned your lesson after last time. You headed straight out after Poppy.

You couldn’t help but gasp in awe of the serenity of the great outdoors as you were beckoned to it. You’d been outside before, obviously, but everything just looked so… nice. The blue sky, the grassy grounds, the ornate buildings… you’ve seen this place in pixel art and a couple drawings before, but seeing it with your own eyes was another story. And the next thing for you to nearly faint at was seeing the Undertale characters running around, Sanses, Undynes, Frisks, even goat moms.

Poppy smiled. “...It’s nice, isn’t it? I KNEW taking you on a tour was a good idea.” She smirked. “Now remember, just because this is a meet-up doesn’t mean it’s free, and there WILL be a fee at the end of our ride.”

“...Uh… I left my wallet at home,” you said, patting your pockets, “And I don’t have any, uh... ‘G,’ I think. Unless the G stands for ‘Gratitude,’ amiright?” you did finger guns.

“G stands for Gold,” Poppy corrected you bluntly, unamused. She returned to her chipper attitude just as quickly, though. “Now, let me show you around!” She led you down the street.

Walking with her, seeing so many versions of your favorite characters in the flesh, walking around… well, the temptation to talk to SOME of them was irresistible, Core be damned. You did resolve not to go too far off-track, but you shared some words with the folks you passed by, Poppy thankfully stopping each time you did. You met two Frisks - one boy, one ambiguous - an Underswap Undyne, a human version of Toriel, and surprisingly, a version of Princess Peach.

You and Poppy approached an elegant fountain, stood upon proudly by a statue of a mustachio’d CORE!Frisk. “This is the Timeline Plaza! It’s sort of the local park, where people meet up to do... stuff. Just hang out. Make a picnic. Play ball. All that good park-y stuff, y’know? And there’s stores in all directions, so it’s pretty good.” She proudly showed off her home to you, with a smile.

You talked to more on the way to the next place. An Inverted Fate Papyrus. A weird Ralsei who said his name was “Noyno.” An Asgore wearing a hoodie, who you assumed was swapped with Sans. (Poppy did scold you a little bit for this, telling you that just because someone has a hoodie you shouldn’t assume they’re swapped. You apologized.)

“This is Grillby’s! One of them, anyways. The nearest one to my house. It’s pretty good if you want an OK burger. Sanses love the place, though. It’s… kind of unhealthy. And a little gross.” Poppy said. “Especially when they just drink… raw… ketchup.”

“Can’t handle a little ketchup?” you smiled mischievously. “We drink it by the gallon back in my universe,” you lied.

“...I really hope you’re joking,” Poppy said, alarmed.

“Am I?” you smiled brighter.

“...W-well, we’re not going in there, so you can FORGET about drinking that much ketchup!” Poppy said, afraid of the sheer power of your ketchup-drinking.

You and Poppy moved onto the next spot. You met an Underswap Alphys who seemed to be trapped in a red-and-gold palette. You met a robot dressed as a circus ringmaster, who claimed to be a Chara. You met a Dummy dressed in a Frisk shirt. (You didn’t assume it was swapped with Frisk this time, which turned out to be a mistake, because it was.) Poppy stared at you awkwardly now, wondering why you were talking to all these random strangers. Finally, you and Poppy reached your next destination.

“The theater! Where we show off all the greatest hits! Including MY movie, which, not to brag, but it’s--”

Except, you’d been distracted by a hyperdeath Asriel, and were ignoring Poppy for the moment.

“...” Poppy spoke up. “That’s what I don’t get about you.”

“Huh?” that seemed to wake you up, and you looked at her.

“Everytime it’s always, ‘have you met Underswap Sans,’ or ‘have you met JangoTale Frisk,’ or some other weird thing. You always ask that. But… they’re just people. Why do you always assume I know some random Sans or Frisk or someone?”

“I…” you were a bit taken aback. “...I don’t… we don’t assume you know them, they’re just… they’re just important.”

“Important?” She asked. “...I-I mean, yeah, EVERYONE’s important, but, I don’t really get what you mean…”

“They’re all--” You paused, trying to collect your thoughts, think of everything you knew from the blog, and tried to actually talk to her. “...They’re like friends to me. Kinda.”

“...You guys are friends with them? I thought you were stuck in your world…” she frowned.

“No, it’s like-- I’m not ‘friends’ with Underswap Frisk, or-- or Storyshift Frisk, or Shifty or whatever, I’m just friends with… Frisk.”

...Poppy stared at you like you just said the ground was turning to jelly, or something equally bafflingly inane. “...I… think you’re confused. Look, sometimes newcomers struggle with this. Your Frisk isn’t the only Frisk--”

“I know! It’s… You don’t get it. This world, these worlds are so special and creative, and they mean a lot to me. I know we can be really edgy, and I know we ask weird questions about Dusted and Rust, but that’s all because… because...” you paused.

Poppy looked, seeming upset about hearing her siblings mentioned in the context of ‘edgy’ questions, not seeing what you were seeing. Core, standing behind her, holding up a hand signal.

The number two.

You were getting carried away. You overstepped.

“...Um… I’m sorry.” You pulled her into a hug as Core vanished. “There’s really no reason for us to ask those questions. We can just be dumb sometimes.”

“...” She hugged back. “Yeah, it’s okay. I knew you guys were super weird and dumb before I convinced Granpa to let you in here, so I guess I should’ve seen this coming,” Poppy smiled, regaining her confidence as you did your best to not be offended at being called weird and dumb.

“Okay! I think I have just one last stop in mind to cap this tour off on a high note! Literally, hehehe…” She giggled mischievously. This time, you didn’t stop to talk to others, following her directly as you approached a peak overlooking the town. For yet another time, and probably the last, you couldn’t help but ogle at the town’s beauty. “Pretty good, right?” She sat down.

“Ha… with all the climbing, I was worried we’d fall down a mountain,” you joked. Poppy seemed to roll her eyes, as you sat beside her. “...I guess I get how you can call this place home. I mean, once I stop nerding out, anyways. You don’t see stuff like this in my… reality.”

“Just gallons and gallons of ketchup, huh?” she commented. You couldn’t help but laugh.

“Yeah.”

And you two just stared into the distance for a while. ...She wasn’t just a character. She was a human being.

...Or, technically just a ‘being,’ scratch the human part. Still, you felt a bit desensitized to all this. And so did she. You related in that way.

“I can’t say you exactly passed with flying colors, but you fulfilled your end of the agreement well enough.”

Without any warning, you were back in a white void with CORE!Frisk, just like before. You almost forgot about the deal you made, what with all the time you spent with Poppy. You stood.

“Uh… yeah. So, my reward…” you drifted off, remembering the offer Core gave you. The chance to meet just about any AU character of your imagining… or at least, any that would be peaceful enough to be in the Omega Timeline. Which still left a WIDE variety of options…

Who did you want to see? What mattered most to you?

...

Thinking deeply… you told Core their name.

“...Oh. Really? Well, I guess it makes sense for you that you’d want to see them,” Core remarked. “I can’t guarantee they’ll give you what you’re looking for, but a deal’s a deal. Let’s head off.”

You and Core went somewhere else.

---

And that’s all she wrote! If you read this far, thank you. Working on the game since then has been fun, and I think you’ll like what we have in store. Until then, ciao.

#undertale #omega timeline #poppy's story

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overheard-at-camp-half-blood · 3 years

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A Rant About Heroes of Olympus Character Arcs.

Just as a warning most of this is negative, but I put the names in big bold letters, in case you want to skip. I do have some controversial opinions in here, specifically towards Percy and Annabeth, and their relationship, but I don’t think I’m negative towards their actual characters... I more so critique how it could have been written better.

I do still love the series, and even though I poke fun at Rick a bit, I still like him as a writer (though I recognize the problematic elements in this story). These are my own opinions on the books, and I’m sorry if I criticize your character in ways you don’t like.

Also, I may do another post about some other problematic elements, so be on the lookout for that.

Percy

Let’s start with Percy, shall we? After all, he is the one who started it all, and he was the one who introduced us to this world. If I’m being extremely honest, and I know I’m going to get hate for this, but I think Percy’s arc should have ended in the first series. He could have still remained a major character in this series, but I think as far as his main arc went, it wrapped up better in the first series, because I feel like this series added nothing to his arc.

I mean, he and Annabeth went through some majorly traumatic shit in The House of Hades, and then nothing was done about it, and I feel like it would just be better had it not happened. Besides I have some major issues with how his relationship with Annabeth played out.

Annabeth

I was really excited for Annabeth, and I did like her arc in MoA. It seemed like a good continuation of her arc in the first series, where Annabeth wanted to prove herself to everyone else, and now she wanted to prove herself to... well, herself. The arc had potential, and I really enjoyed seeing her arc in MoA, but as I said, I didn’t like how her and Percy’s relationship ship played out.

Now, let me preface this by saying that I am NOT anti-Percabeth, in fact, I do post a lot about it on this blog, but I am critical of how Rick writes established relationships. Perhaps it is because I’m older, so therefore my mind is more critical of these sorts of things.

I love Percabeth, but I really dislike their codependency.... I mean Annabeth’s arc in MoA was great because there was a focus on her relationship with Percy, but it was still about her. And yeah, I understand they’ve been through a lot together, but I really don’t like how their development was dependent on each other.

The reason why I put this under Annabeth and not Percy is because for me, it was much worse for Annabeth, because this was our first time getting this from her perspective. We got to see Percy develop through his own eyes, but we never really got the same for Annabeth. Most of Annabeth’s development was through Percy’s eyes, which was why I was so excited that Annabeth was getting her own POV.

And it was great in MoA! But after that, it honestly felt to me that her story was more about her relationship with Percy, than Annabeth herself.

Jason

Jason was doomed from the beginning.

That’s the main issue, is in the beginning, he was literally a blank slate, and while we were worried about the mystery of his character, there was really no way for us to know who he was as a person, because HE didn’t even know. So, as he was introduced at the same time as Piper and Leo, he didn’t get the same development as Piper and Leo. As we learned the other two’s backstories, and how those backstories represent who they are in the current story.

And the thing is, when we finally DID find out who he was, it was too late to do anything with it, because the story ended. I think by the time Blood of Olympus rolled around, and we did learn more about him... a lot of people had no interest in him.

That being said, I love fanon Jason, and I didn’t like how he was treated in the Trials of Apollo series.

Piper

Piper... I have a very complicated relationship with Piper. I kind of wrote this several times, because I couldn’t quite pinpoint my issues with Piper, and she is such a controversial character for whatever reason, and whatever I say will be perceived as me hating on her. That is not the case. I like the idea of Piper’s character, though I can agree she, as well as the other Aphrodite children, are written with sexist tropes, which is another post.

My main issue with Piper is that most of her development happens off the page. In the first few books, she her charmspeak is shown getting her in a lot of trouble, and she often lacks confidence when using it. My issue is the resolution for this happens mainly off the page.

A huge internal conflict with Piper is her lack of self confidence, which is something that I personally can relate to, but we never see her develop that confidence, we’re just told that it happened. Like she worked with Hazel and Annabeth on xyz, so suddenly she is much better and confident in her abilities of xyz. This kind of made her hard for me to connect with her in general, because it seems like most of her struggles happened off page.

This isn’t even just with her overall character; it’s with her relationship with other characters. We do see her friendship with Leo develop to some extent, but that’s because they already had an established friendship before the series started. Her other relationships? Jason and Piper went from barely knowing each other to dating between books. We never saw her friendship with Annabeth develop. She apparently was friends with Hazel, but that happened off the page.

Now, this happened to each character to some degree, but I think Piper got hit the hardest with the “tell, don’t show,” thing. I do think that because a lot of people didn’t like Piper, and imo, most of the criticisms were bullshit, Rick tried to overcompensate by trying to force development on her, without doing the work of showing us her development.

Leo

To be honest, his wasn’t as bad as others, but I feel like more people were disappointed, because he was a relatable fan-favorite. His arc went wrong for the exact opposite reasons as Piper’s, as there was legitimately a lot of development on the page, and he had a good arc set up, but Rick literally forgot everything that initially made his character so likeable to the audience.

So, here’s my thing with Leo’s arc; it was really good for the first three books, as Rick did develop him while leaving room for more development in new books. He also had a consistent arc; in The Lost Hero his arc was about his inferiority complex, which was directly connected to his trauma. He never felt like he had a home, and never felt like he belonged.

This was the direction I was hoping they would go with the “seventh wheel” storyline; meaning, yeah, he’s the only one in the seven who’s not in a relationship, but why does this bother him so much? Because, I don’t think it was the fact that he was in a relationship, I think it was trauma.

I so badly wanted the seventh wheel plot line to be an extension of what happened in TLH, but it became ignored, and it just seemed like a reason to put him in a relationship.

I’m not going to sit here and say that Leo shouldn’t have been in a relationship (though I will say I had an issue with Caleo), but I will say that I hate how a relationship was supposed to solve his feelings of inferiority- when it’s clearly indicated that Leo had those feelings because of trauma. A relationship can’t reverse years of trauma.

I also thought it would be so much more impactful if Leo made his sacrifice because of his feelings of inferiority, then perhaps the resurrection happens through one of his friends.

Hazel

I fucking hate how little Hazel (and Frank) were written into the series, especially considering she was one of my favorite new characters introduced in HoO. I also think she had the most potential, and her backstory was the most intriguing of the seven.

Why the hell was she not in the books more? Rick literally wrote a whole ass book in the series that mostly centered around the two already developed characters of the series, but he couldn’t give Hazel and Frank more POVs?

I don’t have anything to say about Hazel’s arc, because she barely HAD one, at least not after her initial one in SoN. The Sammy arc was made about Leo, which I get to some extent, as they sort of have a connection through Sammy. That being said, Leo never actually knew Sammy, and I feel like the flashback scene would have been so much more impactful from Hazel’s POV.

The biggest issue with that is it didn’t really feel like a way to develop any of the characters, but it was used as a way to justify a love triangle... that was barely even a love triangle.

In conclusion, Hazel was screwed over.

Frank

Frank, oh I have some things to say about the writing of Frank’s character, because my issue with Frank’s writing is a combination of the off-the-page development that happened with Piper, and the lack of POVs issue with Hazel, but to different degrees. Most of my issues with this comes from between Heroes of Olympus and Trials of Apollo

See, I do think his lack of POVs contributing to his lack of character development, you know what pisses me off?

The fire stick thing was a HUGE part of his character arc. It caused him legitimate fear and partially affected his relationship to some of the others (coughLeocough). And the resolution? Happened between series, and it’s literally mentioned in passing. What the fuck, Rick?

I don’t know, to me, it just seemed like a betrayal to his whole character arc, because we saw him struggle so much because of this, and the resolution just happened off page? I can just rant about how annoyed I am by that, because it just felt like Rick realized he forgot about Frank, and resolved his whole internal conflict off the page.

Nico

I love Nico! But, of course, I do have my criticisms of his character.

First of all, I really enjoyed how we got his point of view in Heroes of Olympus, but I really just wish he was part of the seven to begin with, for a number of reasons. First of all, it just makes sense- it’s indicated that he is the only demigod who knows about both camps... so wouldn’t it make sense that he would be part of the plan to reunite them? Don’t get me wrong, he does play a big role in this anyways, but it’s kind of weird that he just knows, and nobody thinks, “Hey, maybe we should include Nico!”

Another huge issue I had, was Nico’s coming out scene was in Jason’s point of view... which I get, because I’m reality, he wasn’t one of the seven... but it just seems fucked up? I mean I like headcanons of Nico and Jason’s friendship, but the unfortunate truth is... they didn’t actually know each other.

In fact, Nico wasn’t really that close to any of the seven- he was probably closest to Percy, and even he didn’t know that much about him at times. It just felt weird, not only seeing Nico come out in someone else’s POV, but in a POV of someone he barely even knew.

Also the fact he was forced to come out... I see the intentions, but it’s just not a good look.

Reyna

Reyna... don’t have any issues against Reyna, other than I wish we had more time with her before the last book. She was such an interesting character and I needed more of her.

#heroes of olympus criticism #heroes of Olympus critical

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mashi-sims · 3 years

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Ranking AHW's S5 Episodes

I know that ranting about how bad some of the episodes this season were isn’t going to change the fact that they were, in fact, bad, but I still wanted to do an overview of this season in my opinion, and I love ranking stuff, so here it goes:

Also, I should mention that, yes, this is Cooliver biased, although I did take other plotlines into consideration, but mostly Cooliver. Also, lol, I could only add 10 photos so the #13, #12 and #11 don't get one, also they don't deserve it.

Tier 1: I wish they could be un-written, please.

13. 5x12 How Oliver Got His Groove Back

I’ll start with my least favorite episode, and the one we all wish we could unsee. This is the episode where Oliver is feeling down because the girl WE, THE AUDIENCE, just realized he liked, doesn’t like him back (which is a whole other thing), so Katie gets him a date with this girl that’s never been introduced in the show before. Oliver doesn’t want to see her, but he still does, and then he realizes she’s nice, and just like that, he’s happy again. I feel like this plot would not have been that bad if it hadn’t been so out of character, unexplained, and utterly designed to be filler for the season. Worst episode from my perspective, wouldn’t watch it again, barely watched it the first time, ugh, next-

12. 5x11 The Guardian

Same thing with this one, very uneventful episode that talks nonsense, introduces the idea of Oliver liking Lindsay and thinking they’d been dating, but nobody knew about it! How convenient! And again, doesn’t progress into anything, and it just feels out of character, forced, and like they didn’t even try to hide that it was a filler episode. Wouldn’t watch it again, I don’t even think about it, I’ve erased it from my mind. The only reason why this episode is ahead of 5x12 is because of Kathryn and Anna-Kat, and JD trying to find his egg donor, other than that, still pretty ugh.

Tier 2: Did the writers really look at their script and think; “ah, well done”?!

11. 5x07 Under Pressure

I kinda enjoyed this episode even if it didn’t include any Cooliver. I liked Anna-Kat’s storyline about not feeling her popularity and sticking to Franklin, I really really love these two together! So cute! Also, Taylor helping Oliver relax and not stress out that much was nice, although not amazing. Katie and Greg’s double date that led to a city council rivalry, I don’t care for it. Overall, I don’t know if this was intended to be a filler episode, but it totally felt like one to me; a nice episode but not one I’d watch again.

10. 5x05 Kids These Days

Eh, pretty uneventful. Katie wants Franklin and Anna-Kat to be more edgy and to take more risks, ends up in completely nothing. Oliver wants Boosterin and he accidentally drugs Greg, also ends up doing nothing for the storyline. The only thing I liked about this episode was seeing how Cooper cared about Oliver and how Oliver said “Your boy is doing both”, the Cooliver content was still good; other than that, eh. Also, the strange order in episodes this season really threw me off.

9. 5x04 Homeschool Sweet Homeschool

Nice episode, but not one of the best. Mommy blog, Cooliver moves to the basement, Andre shows up and it’s all weird now, eh. I enjoyed this episode because of the Cooliver’s interactions more than anything, but it’s not the greatest in my opinion.

Tier 3: *Sits down on the couch with popcorn and a blanket*

8. 5x06 Mother’s Little Helper

I also enjoyed Cooliver this episode. Although their drinking arc was pretty pointless and, again, ended up being nothing!!, I liked seeing them together, and that shaking they gave each other was funny. This is the episode where Tami was introduced, and I really liked her from the beginning, although I do wish they would’ve given Katie’s original second breakfast club some sort of closure so I wouldn’t feel so guilty about liking Tami and JD, eventually.

7. 5x02 Psych

This episode always made me feel stupid because I never understood what was going on with Taylor, why she didn’t take her gap year, why she never told Katie and Greg that she had gotten in, or at least make something out of it, why she decided to go to another college or if Greg got her in just so she didn’t have to take a gap year, bUT THEN I realized they didn’t actually talk about it, so I’m not the stupid one, I think.

Nevertheless, I really enjoyed this episode. I like Katie’s storyline of getting involved in other people’s lives after she sells her lasagna business (again, did they ever talk about that or am I stupid?)

This is the episode where we can see the change in Cooliver’s dynamic (a good thing), and the iconic line “stop bothering our boyfriends” saved my life. Having Taylor And Trip with Cooper and Oliver hanging out in the same frame is one of my favorite things and adds a few days to my life.

Franklin and Anna-Kat’s relationship also picks up in this season, and I really enjoy them in this episode. Also, Greg was very funny here, and I am grateful lol.

6. 5x08 Encourage, Discourage

I really liked how this was a Cooper-centered episode, really diving deep into his character instead of keeping him as a shallow side-character. By the way, how did Cooper get so much development and Oliver lost most of his? What was that? Anyway, Cooper saved this episode. I would’ve liked for Oliver to be a more supportive friend in this episode, but he was still there, at least.

Also, Cooper doesn’t think he’s too good for Oliver! Bless his heart.

5. 5x10 Getting Frank with The Ottos

I liked this episode very much! Again, Anna-Kat and Franklin melted my heart, but Oliver and Cooper squeezed it with Cooper’s realization of not wanting to go to Harvard, but Oliver eventually understanding and supporting him? Please, get married. Also, Oliver saying “We’re Cooliver”, and Trevor asking them if they were breaking up made my day. Could’ve been better and a bit more eventful, but it was good nonetheless.

4. 5x13 The Election

I really liked the finale, despite not having any Cooliver at all, the ending was pretty awesome, and I believe it really sets the tone for what could potentially be a great S6, that is if that’s actually happening AND if the writers stop it with the bullshit. Franklin and Anna-Kat getting engaged was very sweet, I adore them! Taylor and Trip getting really engaged was a bit cringe, but still adorable, and I love it! I just wish they had paid more attention to Oliver in this episode, but well, I guess his bang is not here yet and not every episode can be a banger. I hope that whatever comes next will be good enough that the wait will be worth it.

Tier 4: *Chef’s kiss, no pun intended*

3. 5x01 Graduation

Although this episode doesn’t really belong to this season, and it doesn’t share the same 〜vibe〜 with the rest of the episodes, since it has more of a S3-S4 energy, it’s still in S5 and I wanted to include it, too.

Not my favorite, but it’s one of the good ones imo. So much stuff happens in this episode that it almost feels cramped and overwhelming to me, with the graduation and the wedding, but I get that it was necessary to set the scene for S5 and close S4 even if it didn’t turn out the way they’d originally planned, and it came out fine considering the situation the producers were in, which can’t be said for every episode this season lol.

Taylor and Trip were adorable in this episode, Cooper was amazing, Oliver moping around was something I didn’t know I needed in my life, and Lonnie’s speech about not wanting his relationship with Greg to end, even if I never cared for his storyline, was really nice.

This episode made me think that S5 was headed toward amazing things, but not everything was good.

2. 5x09 The Heist

I love this episode because of Cooper’s development. Again, why couldn’t Oliver get that too? However, I did like how they made Oliver seem like he might’ve been a bit thirsty for his fellow Cooper over there, telling him multiple times that he’s good looking? Come on, tell us what you really mean.

Anyway, Cooliver really shone this episode, round of applause.

1. 5x03 Coupling

This episode is superior, bite me. I love everything about this episode, not only Cooliver. Katie and Greg trying to be supportive of their kids having sex with their boyfriends? Yes! Parallels between all four couples? Yes, please! Cooper and Oliver having their first married couple fight, Cooper feeling like he’s being replaced, but Oliver is doing it for the both of them and their future together? Yes! Masterpiece of an episode. I have no more to say.

Hands down, my favorite episode this season. Too bad mostly everything went downhill after that. I hope we do get a season 6 and that things pick up. This series deserves redemption, and Cooper and Oliver deserve to be happily in love together. Thank you.

#Cooliver #American Housewife #Oliver Otto #cooper bradford #cooper x oliver

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sammysdewysensitiveeyes · 3 years

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Once again, I’ve done that thing where I get progressively more annoyed the more I think about a scene in a comic book (yes, this blog really deals with the important, hard-hitting issues), and that’s how I now feel about this scene.

Under a cut, because I have too many thoughts.

Don’t get me wrong, I’m glad that Pyro is getting some small taste of character development, and maybe the beginnings of a redemption arc. I’m all for that! I appreciate this line being in there. But it’s clunky dialogue for both Iceman and Pyro, and for Pyro, especially, it comes out of nowhere. Bobby has at least had some build in in earlier issues showing that he’s starting to become more vicious, especially the scene in Savage Avengers (during King in Black) and his revenge-for-Kate maiming of the soldier.

There has been no indication up until now that Pyro has any kind of regret over his past actions (at least not in Marauders, although he did show back regret when he was dying of Legacy), or that he’s starting to learn some kind of “better way” from the X-Men. There have been no little suggestions of Pyro starting to embrace the Marauders’ mission, or to start to realize that you don’t have to kill people to win. (He does say that in the Storm-centered issue, while relating a flashback of something that we didn’t actually see happen in the books originally). Pyro has just been bopping along with the group, merrily burning things and getting into fights and drinking, and he suddenly announces that he’s been rethinking his old ways. It’s actually kind of odd that Marauders is the group that leads Pyro down this path, because they are generally more vicious than X-Men usually are – you’ve got Lockheed maiming people, and Kate solidifying a rifle through two soldier’s legs. In fact, given the maimed soldiers coming after them as new Reavers, and Verendi continuing to cause trouble, I’d expect Pyro to be arguing that mercy doesn’t actually work – their enemies keep coming back strong than ever.

So I don’t know where Pyro’s change of heart is actually coming from? It’s like this character development has been happening in the background, and Duggan suddenly gave us a little glimpse of it, rather than actually showing the readers what’s been happening the entire time. Like I half expect Pyro to also suddenly announced that he, Iceman and Bishop are now in a three-way poly relationship, and also they all helped Shinobi deal with his father issues while beating up Fenris, so that’s why Shinobi is so friendly and cooperative with the group. You didn’t actually get to see it happen on panel, but trust me, it happened!

And the idea of Pyro and Iceman on opposite character arcs, with Bobby becoming more aggressive and no longer holding back, while St. John learns restraint, is potentially very interesting! But we’ve barely seen any of this in action. As I’ve said before, Pyro’s supposed role as the loose cannon of the group is mostly an informed trait, he hasn’t really been shown getting out of control or crossing the line. It would have been interesting to contrast Bobby and Pyro’s different fighting styles, to show how they are rubbing off on each other (yes, innuendo intended).

Actually, I have a whole list of little ways that Duggan could have seeded Pyro’s “redemption arc” far in advance, so that he doesn’t just awkwardly blurt out things like “I think this group is bringing out the best in me.”:

- Pyro actually getting out of control in battle and having to be reined in, not just being frequently reminded of the “no kill” rule. Obviously he couldn’t step too far out of the line without being kicked off the team, but something like Pyro starting to indiscriminantly torch a building, only for Emma to stop him because she senses that there are civilians hiding inside. Then Emma can mentally yell at him for being careless. Pyro maybe reflects and feels a little bad, because he will happily kill the hell out of soldiers, but he doesn’t want to accidentally kill bystanders.

- Storm (or even Callisto) having a “talk” with Pyro about restraint, and how he can work more effectively in battle by using his fire to carefully target enemies rather than just flame-throwing all over the place (although sometimes his “shock and awe” method works, too).

- Someone like Emma or Bishop actually talking to Pyro about his tendency to jump straight to “kill” when he’s angry. When Pyro wants to kill Yellowjacket and burn the Verendi kids, he just comically dismissed by both Magneto and Emma. It would have been interesting to have someone actually talk to him about it. I’m not looking for a therapy session, but something like Bishop pointing out that leaving Yellowjacket alive to “escape” will be more effective in the long run, etc. etc. Instead Emma just leaves Pyro standing there, just to reiterate how unimportant he is in this book.

- More contrast between Bobby and Pyro’s fighting styles, especially near the start of the book, with Pyro obviously more vicious and aggressive, while Bobby is holding back. Maybe have let the boys talk about the use of violence, and whether it is justified. This doesn’t have to take up much room, it could be like one page of after-battle discussion, or even little comments during battle. Then we could also see their styles gradually change as they come to like and respect each other.

- Pyro actually having to face some of the horrifically burned victims that he has maimed (or family members of those that he has killed). I know the Reaver confronting Bobby was part of Duggan’s “Bobby is turning into a badass” arc, but I think it would have been meaningful to have one of the Reavers be a soldier that Pyro has burned. (In fact, none of the Reavers seemed to be soldiers that Pyro, specifically, had injured, which is odd given his status as the supposed “violent loose cannon” of the group.) Duggan could have actually done both, and contrasted Bobby and Pyro’s reactions. Bobby is defiant at maiming a soldier that he thinks had a hand in killing Kate. Pyro is confronted by a soldier that he burned (maybe while the soldier was even trying to surrender or run away), and reflects that he may have gone too far.

- Pyro giving some indication that he is starting to care about the Marauders’ mission beyond just a job, and a fun excuse to drink and fight. You’d think Pyro might have some warm fuzzy feelings about delivering medicine to people, given his slow, painful death from illness. And maybe feeling empathy for sick humans would show Pyro that he can feel some greater empathy for humans in general. We do see Pyro put a comforting arm around Proteus when the Moira McTaggert hospital is unveiled in Madripoor, so I’ll give Duggan that (even if that gesture also feels like it came out of nowhere).

- Pyro receiving praise from people that he has rescued, and basking in the attention. Pyro has in the past been written as a show-boating attention hog (and Duggan even reflects that in his “funny” fantasy of Pyro being greeted by an adoring crowd on Krakoa, not that I think Duggan actually put the research in). During his Freedom Force days, Pyro seemed to get into the idea of being a “hero,” and is very cocky and cheerful when saving Longshot and some kids from a dinosaur. I think Pyro likes being perceived as a hero, and getting attention, even if he isn’t really a very heroic person. So show Pyro getting thanked by a mutant child or a little old lady that he’s saved. Show Pyro feeling touched and gratified by that, since he spent so long as a bad guy.

- Pyro talking about saving Senator Kelly. Does he regret it? Does he stand by his actions? Is he completely disillusioned by Kelly’s death shortly afterwards? Or is he happy that he at least managed to change Kelly’s mind. Pyro probably wouldn’t bring it up himself, but I’m surprised that no X-Men have said anything to him about it.

- Pyro talking to his old Brotherhood pals about his experience on the Marauder, maybe showing how his way of thinking is changing, arguing that the X-Men aren’t so bad, and that their “non-violence” can actually get things done.

This sounds like a lot, but even a few little moments or bits of dialogue could have gotten slipped into fight scenes to build up to Pyro’s changing attitude, rather than just have him announce it out of nowhere.

Of course, the series isn’t finished. Duggan might have some really interesting development planned for Pyro in future issues! But I hope that if he does, it’s actually seeded early on and develops organically, rather than coming out of nowhere. 21 issues in, I’m not optimistic. The sad thing is, I like some of the “funny” things that Duggan has done with Pyro. I like him gambling with Bishop, Shinobi and Bobby at the Gala. I like his bet with Storm. I even like him biting Batroc. I just wish he would treat the character as something other than an afterthought, and I wish we saw more of Bobby and Pyro’s newfound friendship and development, because it could be genuinely interesting if they actually got some proper time in the spotlight!

In conclusion, I should change my URL to @constantlysaltyaboutmarauders, because that’s all I talk about these days.

#pyro #st john allerdyce

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crystalstar8 · 3 years

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Knights of the Night (ch 8)

Chapter 8aseball

Ch 1, ch 2, ch 3, ch 4, ch 5, ch 6, ch 7, ch 8

https://archiveofourown.org/works/29139240/chapters/71536491

pairing: Jungkook x oc

genre: vampire au, college au, twilight, romance

word count: 2,668

warnings: blood (obviously), kidnapping, child kidnapping, needles, France

notes: vampires, vampire au, college, college au, so many twilight references, blood, needles, kidnapping, children, homelessness, dance, ballet, flashbacks, romance, slow burn, probably no smut, idk yet tho, France, French things, attempted genocide, inaccurate French history, bisexual main character, @strawberriewithchocolate-blog @mozy-j @daechwitad-2 @zobadak

summary: Catalina starts college in a small town all the way across the country. She doesn’t know anyone and isn’t exactly looking for friends. She just wants to focus on dance. But when she meets fellow dance major, Jimin, and adventurous, fellow freshman, Jungkook, Catalina ends up discovering a whole new side to the small college town; one that is dangerous but oh so enticing…

Catalina was no longer running, but she had yet to catch her breath. The room she was in was cement, and Jungkook lay in front of her. She tried to reach out to him, but as soon as she tried to move, her veins erupted into fiery pain. Her whole body seized, but just as fast as it came, the pain left, letting Catalina collapse to her knees. She crawled over to Jungkook and rolled him over onto his back. The wound on his head was scary.

“Kookie,” she whispered, trying to shake him awake. “Kookie, we have to get out of here. They’ll come back any second.”

Jungkook spoke without opening his eyes. He said, “When you become one of them, will you eat me too?”

The pain came back at full force, but didn’t last long as Catalina woke up in a cold sweat.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~

“So, you’re telling me that they’re actual real-life vampires,” Jimin said from the backseat of Jungkook’s car.

“That’s right,” said Catalina.

“That explains all that rotting food in the fridge,” said Jungkook. Catalina huffed as he cracked up.

“Yeah, never mind the fridge full of blood bags,” said Catalina.

“So, they’re real vampires,” said Jimin. “They could kill us if they wanted to, and we’re still hanging out with them?”

“I mean, anyone could kill anyone if they wanted to,” said Jungkook. He took a turn down a dirt road into the forest.

“They could do it so easily though!” said Jimin.

“They won’t,” said Catalina. “I really think they won’t hurt us.”

“Well, we’re playing baseball with them whether you like it or not,” said Jungkook. “God, I haven’t played baseball since I was seven years old, on that stupid little leagues team. Oh my god, I’m so excited.”

Catalina looked over at him with an eyebrow raised. He was practically vibrating in his seat. It was his idea in the first place. As soon as Catalina told him about her discovery, he asked when they’d get to play baseball with the vampires, vis a vis Twilight. To “reenact the greatest scene in cinematic history”. Catalina was just looking forward to spending more time with the four of them. She found them fascinating and there were so many questions she wanted to ask.

She snapped out of those thoughts as Jungkook took a side road. They ended up parking at the edge of a field. The sky was grey and thunder was rumbling. It was perfect weather for baseball. Jungkook seemed to think so too, since he was staring at the sky with a big smile on his face as he got out of the car.

There were two other cars parked in the field, a black BMW and a pink Jeep Wrangler with two yellow smiley faces on the roof. Jin and Jimmy K got out of the BMW as soon as Jungkook parked. Taehyung, Hoseok and Namjoon were already standing in the field, Taehyung practicing his swing. Yoongi was sitting next to the Jeep in a lawn chair, sipping wine from a glass. Catalina got of the car. She’s never played baseball before, so this should be interesting. Taehyung waved at them and ran over.

“You made it!” he said. “I’ve never played baseball before, but I did some research the last few days.”

“Meaning, he just watched some videos of ancient baseball games,” said Hoseok.

“There’s always a guy with the bat, and he has to hit the ball. And there’s the person who throws the ball,” Taehyung explained.

“I think everyone here knows how to play baseball, Tae Tae,” said Jimin.

“Jiminie! I’ve missed you!” Taehyung swept Jimin up in a hug. Catalina laughed but wished Taehyung hadn’t been interrupted. She really didn’t know how to play.

“I think I should just watch for a while,” she said. “I’ve never really played before.”

Jin sidled up to Jungkook and Catalina and whispered, “You said these guys were vampires?”

They nodded. Jin eyed the vampires on the field, then nodded, “Yeah that checks out. Normal people don’t look that good. Except for me, obviously.”

Out of the corner of her eye, she saw Yoongi pulling open another lawn chair. She happily took the opportunity to skip over to him and sit down. The rest of the boys got set up on the field. Catalina wondered who the Jeep belonged to.

Being near Yoongi was different. He didn’t say or do anything, keeping his eyes on the field and sipping from his glass, but Catalina felt a dull aura of danger around him. She didn’t necessarily think he’d hurt her, but being around him wasn’t the same as being around the other vampires. There was definitely something different about him.

“Would you like a glass of wine?” Yoongi asked, startling Catalina out of her thoughts.

“No thank you,” she said. They both turned their attention to the field as the game began.

Jungkook was batting first, Hoseok taking his place in the center of the makeshift diamond as the pitcher. Namjoon crouched behind Jungkook as the umpire. Jungkook struck out the first time, but hit perfectly the second. He dropped the bat and took off running. Taehyung took off after him and caught him in an instant, tackling him to the ground. Instead of arguing that Taehyung’s supernatural speed was unfair, Jungkook laughed heartily as he pulled himself off the ground. This absolutely didn’t seem like something Catalina would like, but it was fun to watch.

The clouds began to darken and a slow rain began. Catalina pulled her hood up.

Taehyung was up to bat next, Jimin pitching. Taehyung flipped the bat, tapping the end and catching the handle. That was hot seeing it in the movie, but it was even hotter seeing Taehyung do it. She wondered if Namjoon could flip the bat like that.

“He won’t be able to flip it like that,” said Yoongi. Catalina’s heart skipped a beat. She stared at him as her mind raced.

“Can you…can you read minds?” she whispered. Yoongi chuckled and shook his head.

“No. But I’ve been around long enough to read people,” said Yoongi. “You were eyeing him in his too-tight t-shirt.”

“How old-“

The field erupted into laughter. The rain had picked up and the field was staring to get muddy. It seemed that Taehyung had tackled Jungkook again and they were rolling around in the mud, Jimin and Jin were laughing hysterically beside them. Their white t-shirts were practically transparent, clinging to their chests. Jungkook was more toned than Catalina expected…

Namjoon was up to bat next.

“Flip the bat!” Catalina shouted to him. “Flip the bat like Tae did!”

Namjoon tried to flip the bat, but ended up hitting himself in the face and dropping it.

“Told you,” said Yoongi.

“Whatever. It was worth a shot,” said Catalina.

The game went on and the rain got heavier. Luckily, Jungkook had the foresight to tell everyone to wear white t-shirts for the baseball game, because soon, everyone’s shirts were soaked and transparent. The ground was muddy and as Namjoon ran to home base, he slid across the ground, the mud splashing up around him dramatically. Jimmy K took the bat next. He was wearing shorts with his wet t-shirt, showing off his sturdy, oiled thighs.

“You’re drooling,” Yoongi said.

“Shut up,” said Catalina, unable to tear her eyes away from the game. She wiped her chin and sure enough, there was drool in the corner of her mouth. She couldn’t help it though. Everyone on that field was incredibly hot and they were all soaked. Their shirts left nothing to the imagination.

Catalina shifted in her seat. She wondered if Jungkook had checked the weather ahead of time and planned this. She made a note to ask him later. And if he did plan this, she’d have to thank him. She wondered if he knew what he looked like right now, with the wet shirt clinging to his abs and chest and hard nipples…

She only had to wonder for a moment though, because a few seconds later, Jungkook was lifting the bottom of his shirt to wipe the mud from his face, his eyes darting over to her. That son of a bitch knows exactly what he’s doing, Catalina thought.

Catalina was startled out of that train of thought as Yoongi stood abruptly, his chair falling backward. Catalina startled and looked at him with wide eyes.

“What? What is it?” Catalina asked.

“Shut up,” he said. His eyes narrowed as they darted around the tree line.

From the woods, three people strolled into the field. The boys stopped playing baseball and watched the three strangers approach. Yoongi joined them, Catalina close behind.

“I haven’t seen you four around, are you new to this town?” the man in the middle asked. He was big; tall and broad with a good natured smile on his face.

“No, we’ve lived here a long time. Are you new?” asked Namjoon.

“A bit,” the man said. “I didn’t realize there were more of us living around here. I figured we already met everyone.”

“Do you mind if we join your game?” the woman beside him asked. She was tall and blonde, a sinister red smile on her face. The third woman’s eyes flickered between the five humans.

“You even brought snacks,” she said. This woman had a thick Indian accent and dark skin. Her gaze was so piercing, Catalina felt as if the woman could tell what she was thinking just by looking at her. All three of them had blood red eyes.

“We were actually just leaving,” Namjoon said as he positioned himself in front of Catalina.

“No need to get defensive!” the man said, holding out his hands. His smile was still relaxed and charming. “We won’t take what isn’t ours.”

“Joon-ah,” Hoseok whispered. He was shuffling behind Namjoon, tugging on his sleeve. He looked pale and terrified.

“We can leave if you want us to, we just thought we’d introduce ourselves,” the man said. “We always love making new friends.”

Namjoon glanced at Hoseok, then looked back at the man with narrowed eyes. He didn’t say anything.

“My name is Makai,” the man said. He gestured to the blonde woman and said, “This is Amanda,” and then to the other woman, “And this is Mohati.”

“My name is Namjoon, and this is Yoongi, Taehyung, and Hoseok,” said Namjoon.

“You’re not going to introduce your human friends?” Mohati asked, sauntering over to Jungkook. Taehyung growled and stepped in front of him. Jungkook’s eyes were like saucers.

“I apologize for interrupting your game,” said Makai. “I can see you don’t need any more players, so we’ll be on our way. But here, take my card. Come visit us some time. We’re always on the lookout for fresh faces.”

He handed a business card to Namjoon then waved to the two women to follow him away. They left the way they came, into the woods until Catalina could no longer see them.

Namjoon looked at the card and said, “I think you guys should go home. Yoongi and I will follow you home. Taehyung, Hoseok, trail them to see where they’re heading.”

Hoseok shook his head furiously and said with a shaking voice, “No, no, nonononono we don’t have to do that. They’re probably not going anywhere, we can just go home and forget about it.”

Catalina looked at him with concern.

“Do you know those guys?” Yoongi asked.

“What?” Hoseok laughed the fakest, most nervous laugh Catalina’s ever heard. “No! Why would I know them? Let’s just take the humans home and forget about it!”

“Now, wait just a second!” Jungkook said, pushing past Taehyung and putting his hands on his hips. “Don’t we get a say in this?”

“No,” all four vampires said simultaneously.

“But there’s a mystery afoot!” Jungkook said. “They were sus!”

“Not a mystery for you,” said Namjoon. “We’re taking you home.”

“Yeah, I think I’m okay with just going home,” said Jimin, putting a hand on Jungkook’s shoulder. “This seems like too much for us.”

That was how Catalina found herself back in the passenger seat of Jungkook’s car with Jimin and Namjoon in the back seat. The BMW followed closely behind, the Jeep behind the BMW.

“Who do you think those people were?” asked Jungkook. His hair was drying, curling slightly at the ends. Catalina resisted the urge to run her hands through it.

“No idea,” said Namjoon. “I’ve never seen them before. There’s not many vampires this far south, so maybe they’re travelers? Or maybe they’re just new to town…”

“This is south?” said Catalina.

“Most vampire communities are farther north, like Canada and Northern Europe. Less sunlight.”

“What about Russia?” asked Jungkook.

“Russia is just as bad as France,” Namjoon spat the word “France” like the country had personally insulted his mother. “No one lives there. Anyway, they probably won’t hurt you since they saw you with us, but you guys should still be careful,” said Namjoon.

“Sure, whatever you say, mom,” said Catalina with a cackle. Namjoon didn’t look amused. “I’m kidding. I definitely don’t want to be their meal.”

They drove in silence for a while.

“Whose car is the Jeep?” asked Catalina. “Is it yours?”

Namjoon smiled and said, “No, it’s Hoseok’s. Taehyung bought it for him for his birthday last year, but Hoseok picked it out.”

“Are you guys all crazy rich? Like, the stereotypical vampires coming from royalty or whatever?” Jungkook asked. Catalina remembered what Hoseok told her at game night.

Namjoon laughed. “Yoongi actually did come from royalty, but not the rest of us. We’re just old enough to accumulate wealth.”

“Ah, to be old enough to accumulate wealth,” Catalina said with a dramatic sigh, fluttering her lashes at him, which pulled a laugh out the whole car.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Caleb waited for what felt like forever for something to change. He felt tired and cold all the time. The men came by every day to drop off some food and water, and then the needle went in for a while. Caleb hated that the most because it meant he’d get even more tired and cold. He didn’t even care about the needle prick anymore. The door was always closed, but Caleb remembered when he first came there, some of the doors were open. He wondered if he became too tired to move much, if they’d keep his door open. He would at least like to see what was happening outside of the little cement room.

One day, the door opened and some men set up another bed and blood bag stand on the other side of the room. Then the blonde woman came in. She was holding a lady in her arms, whom she laid down on the other bed. The lady was asleep. Caleb kept quiet as the blonde woman attached a needle to the lady’s arm, then left, closing the door behind her.

Caleb got off of his own bed and approached the sleeping lady. It was a bit difficult to move, he kind of felt like he was moving through molasses, something he heard his mom say once but never understood until now. The lady was pretty, she had dark skin and big curly hair. Caleb wanted to wake her up and warn her about what was going to happen to her, but when he shook her shoulder, she just twitched and stayed asleep. The men must’ve given her the sleepy water. They gave Caleb the sleepy water one day when he tried to pull the needle out and run away. He knew not to do that again, because the headache he had after he woke up was the worst pain he’d ever felt.

Even though the sleeping lady wouldn’t wake up, Caleb was glad to have a new roommate. And he was glad she was an adult. Maybe she could help him escape and get back to his parents.

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phantomofthepairofdice · 3 years

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Double Features 2: Splatter, Splicer, Slander, Slasher

Considering the fact that we’re locked down and most folks aren’t going out much, why not settle in on a weekend with double feature. As part of a series of articles, I’ve decided to suggest some titles that would make for an interesting pair. It’s a time commitment like binging a few episodes of a TV show, and hopefully these double features are linked in interesting enough ways that it has a similar sense of cohesion. They also can be watched on separate occasions, but the lesser the distance between them, the more the similarities show. Do it however you want, really. I’m merely a guy on the internet, and that qualifies me for absolutely nothing! Enjoy at your own risk.

This template is back! I wanted to suggest a few more double features, but this time keep them in a specific genre: horror. I love horror movies, and I realized that I hadn’t really given them their due on this here blog, so I wanted to remedy that by showing a lot of love across a lot of different movies. I’ve put together some international movies, some classics, some that are silly, some that are serious, and even a bonus suggestion hidden in one of these blurbs. So without any more ramble in the preamble, here are four new suggested double features.

Note: The pairs are listed in the order I think best serves them being seen.

Hausu & Evil Dead II:

Hausu aka House (not to be confused with 1985 American horror film of the same name) has sort of transcended cult movie status to become a staple of off-center horror-comedy. Directed by recently deceased Nobuhiko Obayashi, the film shows his roots in advertisements with every shot designed for maximum effect, a (still) cutting edge approach in the edit, and a joyous, playful approach to special effects. It’s a gauzy and dreamy romp about a group of schoolgirls who head to the countryside on vacation. While staying at one of their aunts’ house, the supernatural hauntings begin, and heads start to roll (as well as bite people on the butt). It’s the type of movie where the main cast of characters are named Gorgeous, Kung Fu, Melody, Prof, Mac, Sweet, and Fantasy and they each have corresponding character traits. I was lucky enough to catch this at a rep screening at the Museum of Fine Arts a few years ago (further proof that this has gone beyond the cult curio status), and this is absolutely a movie that benefits from having a crowd cheer and laugh along - but it’s fairly easy to find and still has lots of pleasures to be enjoyed on solo watch. I’m pretty much willing to guarantee that if you enjoy it on first watch, you’ll want to share it with others. Now, where does one start when talking about Evil Dead II? Sam Raimi is rightfully as well known for his start in the hair-brained splatter genre fare as he is for his genre-defining Spider-man films. The influence of the Evil Dead movies is nearly unquantifiable, apparent in the work of directors like Edgar Wright, Peter Jackson, Quentin Tarantino, and the Korean New Wave filmmakers like Bong Joon-ho and Park Chan-wook. There’s a reason that the second film of his Evil Dead odyssey is the one that people hold in highest esteem, though. There is an overwhelming gleeful creativity, anything goes, Looney Tunes approach to it that makes the blood geysers, laughing moose heads, and chainsaw hands extend beyond gore and shock into pleasure. It’s been noted over and over by critics and Raimi himself that the Three Stooges are probably the biggest influence on the film, and by golly, it shows. Evil Dead II and Hausu are pure in a way that few other movies can be. Both of these movies are an absolute delight of knowing camp, innovative special effects, and a general attitude of excitement from the filmmakers permeating through every frame. They’re a total blast and, in my mind, stand as the standard-bearers for horror-comedy and haunted house movies.

Total Runtime: 88 minutes + 84 minutes = 172 minutes aka 2 hours and 52 minutes

The Thing (1982) & The Fly (1986):

Feel free to roll your eyes as I explain the plots of two very famous movies. The Thing is John Carpenter’s body horror reimagining of Howard Hawks’ The Thing from Another World and the story that was adapted from, “Who Goes There?” by John W. Campbell Jr. The film is centered around a group of men in an arctic outpost who welcome in a cosmic force of shape-shifting annihilation. What ensues is a terrifically scary, nihilistic, paranoid attempt to find who isn’t who they say they are before everyone is replaced with the alien’s version of them. The film is a masterpiece of tone in no small part due to Dean Cundey’s photography and Ennio Morricone’s uncharacteristically restrained score. The real showstopper here, though, is the creature effects designed by Rob Bottin with an assist from Stan Winston – two titans of their industry. There may not be a more mind-blowing practical effects sequence in all of movies than Norris’ defibrillation – which I won’t dare spoil for anyone who hasn’t seen it. The story is so much about human nature and behaviors, that it’s good news that the cast is all top-notch – anchored by Kurt Russell, Keith David, and Wilford Brimley. While The Thing is shocking and certainly not for anyone opposed to viscera, David Cronenberg’s The Fly is the best example of a movie not to watch while eating. Quite frankly, it’s got some of the most disgusting things I’ve ever seen on film. Chris Walas and Stephen Dupuis’ makeup effects are shocking, but the terror is amplified because this builds such a strong foundation of romance in its opening stretch between Jeff Goldblum and Geena Davis in what might be their career-best work. The story is simple: a scientist creates a teleportation device that he tries out himself, but unknowingly does so with a fly in the chamber with him. When he reatomizes on the other end, his DNA has been integrated with the fly. Slowly his body begins to deteriorate, and he transforms into a human-fly hybrid. While this is first and foremost a science-fiction horror film, it’s truly one of the most potent love stories at its center. The tragedy is that the love, like the flesh, is mutated and disintegrated by the hubris of Goldblum’s Seth Brundle. Here are two remakes that – clutch your pearls – outdo the original. They both serve as great examples of what a great artist can bring by reinterpreting the source material to tell their version of that story. The critical respect for Carpenter and Cronenberg is undeniable now, but both of these movies make the case that there are real artists working with allegory and stunning craft in less respected genre fare. It doesn’t take a lot of effort to transpose the thematic weight of the then-new AIDS crisis onto both films, but they both have a hefty anti-authority streak running through them in a time where American Exceptionalism was at an all-time high. If you want to get a real roll going, fire up the ’78 Invasion of the Body Snatchers first to get a triple dose of auteur remakes that reflect the social anxieties of the time and chart from generalized anxiety to individualistic dread to romantic fatalism.

Total Runtime: 109 minutes + 96 minutes = 205 minutes aka 3 hours and 25 minutes

Theatre of Blood & The Abominable Dr. Phibes

That old Klingon proverb that Khan tells Kirk about revenge being a dish best served cold is challenged by these two Vincent Price tales of the macabre. They posit that revenge is best served in extremely convoluted and thematically appropriate predecessors to the Saw franchise. Where Saw trades in shock and extremity, though, these classic horror tales offer an air of panache and self-satisfied literacy. In Theatre of Blood, Price plays a disgraced and thought-dead stage actor who gets revenge on the critics who gave him negative reviews with Shakespeare-themed murder. There’s good fun in seeing how inventive the vengeful killings are (and in some cases how far the writers bend over backwards to explain and make sense of them). It’s a little rumpled and ragged in moments, but Price is, of course, a tremendous pleasure to see in action as he chews through the Shakespeare monologues. Imagine the Queen’s corgis with a chainsaw and you’re on track. Phibes came first and, frankly, is the better of the two. The story is about a musician who seeks to kill the doctors who he believes were responsible for his wife’s death during a botched surgery. The elaborate angle he takes here is to inflict the ten plagues from the Old Testament. I hesitate to use a word that will probably make me come across as an over-eager schmuck, but it really feels best described as phantasmagorical. It’s got this bright, art deco, pop art sensibility to it that’s intoxicating. It also has a terrifically dark sense of drollery - it knows that you can see the strings on the bat as it flies toward the camera. Aesthetically, it feels adjacent to the ’66 Batman show. The music is great and the indelible image of his tinker toy robot band, The Clockwork Wizards, is a personal obsession of mine. Both Theatre of Blood and The Abominable Dr. Phibes feature great supporting turns from Diana Rigg and Joseph Cotton, respectively. Settle in for a devilishly good time and enjoy one of cinema’s greatest vicarious pleasures: getting back at those of criticized or hurt you.

Total Runtime: 104 minutes + 94 minutes = 198 minutes aka 3 hours and 18 minutes

Blood and Black Lace & The Bird with the Crystal Plumage

The final pairing comes from beyond American borders and, to some, beyond the borders of good taste. Mario Bava and Dario Argento are likely the two biggest names in Italian horror, and that’s for very good reason. Bava, who started as a cinematographer, has made loads of movies (even the film which gave Ozzy Osbourne and crew the name their band name) that have tremendous visuals and terrific sense of mood. Argento, probably most famous now for Suspiria, emerged onto the Italian film scene a handful of years later and picked up that baton from Bava to crystallize the dreamy logic puzzles cloaked in hyper-saturated colors. These two films are regarded as quintessential in the giallo genre – named for the yellow covers of the pulp crime fictions that inspired them. As someone who loves the flair that can be applied to make a slasher film stand out amongst their formulaic brethren, I found that the giallo made for a smooth transition into international horror. Blood and Black Lace is a murder mystery that’s as tawdry and titillating as its title suggests. Set in an insular world of a fashion house in Rome, models are being murdered. The plot feels like a necessity in order to create a delivery system for the stunning set pieces that revolve around a secret diary. Bava puts sex right next to violence and cranks up the saturation to create something thrillingly lurid. Six years later, Argento made his first film which has often been credited for popularizing the giallo genre and already is playing around with some of his pet themes like voyeurism and reinterpretation. Built around an early set piece (that stacks up as one of the best in thrillers) in which a man is trapped but witnesses a murder, the film sees said man trying to find the piece of evidence that will make the traumatic killing make sense. Like Bava, it blends sex and violence with tons of flair, including a score by the aforementioned Ennio Morricone. The film is absolutely on a continuum between Hitchcock and De Palma. If you’re looking for a pair of exciting horror/thrillers, or even an entry point to foreign genre cinema, this is an accessible and enjoyable place to start.

88 minutes + 96 minutes = 184 minutes aka 3 hours and 4 minutes

Well, there you have it. Eight movies, and hours of entertainment curated by some guy with no real qualifications. If you’re interested in some more suggestions (in horror and other genres), stay tuned for the next entry in this Double Features series. And if you’re looking for a way to watch these movies, I highly recommend the app/website JustWatch where you can search a title and see where it’s available for streaming or rental. Happy viewing.

Thanks for reading.

#evil dead #evil dead 2 #hausu #hausu 1977 #the thing #the fly #theatre of blood #dr phibes #blood and black lace #bird with the crystal plumage #double feature

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snarkwriteswrasslin · 3 years

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alpha - drew m / roman r. [m]

Note:

Okay, so I’ve seen a few of these floating around now and then and I know that as a reader, I personally enjoyed the experience. And that little showdown between Roman and Drew really... Got to me and lives in my head rent free. My original idea for this was so much different than what this is going to shape up to be, but honestly, I feel like it works better this way. As much as I dislike even thinking Randy Orton’s name. Adding that particular variable into the mix made this a lot smoother than my original idea.

I’m actually really excited about this. It’s a choose your own smutty ending. I think the first person I saw trying this was @glowrioustrash and it was last year, for Halloween, I think? I enjoyed reading that, so I kinda wanted to try my own hand at it then. I just never got around to it. I even asked them if it was okay if I did it, back then, I think? Anyway... Last night’s Smackdown just gave me ample inspo to FINALLY get off my ass and try it, and make it a part of my year-long smut one shot series. Bet ya’ll thought I completely forgot about those, huh? Well I didn’t. So... here we are.

This part is the beginning to both of the smutty parts I’m going to write for this, so it’ll be linked on either post and either post will be linked here, once I have them all done and posted on the blog.

LIFE EDIT: Eventually, loves... I’ll get around to posting the smutty conclusions to both men. When I do, those will be linked to this post.

Enjoy this teaser, hopefully?

HUGE SHOUTOUTS TO : @wrestlingismyguiltypleasure and @schizoauthoress (your suggestions and that helpful input at the end, ahhh.. i owe you my life) as well as @wardl0w because I have probably bugged the living hell out of all three of them as I attempted this and they were seriously huge helps to me with this.

Characters / Pairings:

Drew McIntyre / Female!omega reader - version 1, coming soon

Roman Reigns / Female!omega reader - version 2, coming soon

Warnings:

This is an attempt at me, writing alpha/omega again. So there will be knotting, mate bite marks, etc. In addition to that, there will be smut in the second part of these, whichever man you guys choose. There’s also hints of unwanted confrontation between Orton and Reader to start this off with and it gets... handsy, ewwww. But I had to have a way to work in both guys and make it work, so.. here we are. There’s also gonna be swearing. If I need to issue any other warnings those will be on the follow up posts.

Tagging:

@kyleoreillysknee @rampagewriting @writertoo18 @thatnerdwriter @wrestlingismyguiltypleasure @chasingeverybreakingwave @waywardwrestlewritingwaif @sassymox @champbucks @hungmanhorsecarriage @wardl0w @ryantaylorgirl @dilfmoxley @hotyeehawman @darbysallin @gabbynorth98 @bec0m

@linziland13 @irish-newzealand-idian-dutch

Other Stuff:

[ about my writing - masterlist - tag list doc ]

[ Roman ] or [ Drew ]

The scent was absolutely intoxicating. So understandably, when it filled my nose for the fourth time that night, I found myself standing. Making my way out into the hallway. Shoving people out of my way. Now, I wasn’t running or anything, because my grandma always told me it’s better to be chased than do the chasing but… I was power-walking.

And, as per usual, not paying a lick of attention to where I was going or my surroundings. I was solely focused on this mysterious scent because deep down inside, I knew exactly where it was going to lead me and damn it, I might put up one hell of a show about being independent, but heat cycles are hell and yeah, maybe I get lonely as of late. Maybe I’ve been longing to find my Alpha. Maybe I want the comfort of knowing that I’m not doomed to be forever alone and I do have a mate out there, somewhere...

It hit me then, around the same time that my thighs absolutely flooded with slick and I started to feel all woozy. I hadn’t taken suppressants. In fact, I had somehow managed to completely forget about my heat cycle’s speedy approach.

I mean, between moving and getting called up to the main roster, life has been a whirlwind for me lately. And tonight I hadn’t taken them before I came to the arena because I was excited. Tonight was my first night on the main roster. And in the excitement of that, I’d forgotten my suppressants… again.

To be fair, I haven’t ever really adhered to taking them steadily to begin with, so there you go...I never really had anyone constantly riding me to do so growing up. I was mostly left to my own devices, free to do what I wanted and make my own choices. So, yeah, this isn’t my first rodeo with a surprise heat cycle.

I shoved all the thoughts out of my noisy mind, pausing my walk to attempt focusing. Centering myself so that I could really fix on the scent and the direction it came from. And in my distraction, that gave Orton the perfect opportunity to slither up and corner me before I even had a chance to properly respond.

“Doll.”

“I have a name, you prick.” I rolled my eyes as I shrank away, nose wrinkling at the oversaturation of his scent as it invaded my nose and momentarily drowned out that heavenly aroma I’d been attempting to follow before I got distracted like a dumb bitch.

He chuckled, putting himself closer to me. Leaning down a little. And the audacity of this fucking man, he even had the nerve to reach up and move my hair away from my neck, his nose burying there as a lewd growl rose up from the depths of his chest.

I shoved at him and cleared my throat. “I was kind of in a hurry, do you mind knocking it the fuck off, jackass? Go sniff someone else, ew.”

“C’mon now, hon… You know what’s happening to you. You know you need me.”

“Like I need a bullet wound to the head, Orton. Fuck off.” I tried to duck beneath his arm but his other hand caught on my hip, keeping me pinned between him and the wall. By now, the scent of him was so overpowering and gross that my stomach was lurching. My consolation thought as I began to panic a little and tried to think of a quick way out of this confrontation was that maybe if I just threw up on the asshole, he’d get away.

Somehow, I didn’t see that happening. Orton doesn’t strike me as the kind of guy who picks up on cues, verbal or non-verbal. Likes to assert that dominance he fancies himself to have.

He chuckled again.

Then suddenly, the scent was back and it was overpowering his stench. ,, Thank God.” I thought to myself, daring to mutter the words under my breath. I found myself peering over Randy’s shoulder, waiting on whoever the intoxicating scent I’d been following originally to show themselves.

And when he stepped out behind Randy and into view… If I thought I was wet before, whew… I was absolutely flooded beyond all hope now. I swallowed hard, biting my lip, locking eyes with him. Randy seemed to realize that my attention was wandering and this of course, only made him up his game.

His hips brushed boldly against mine and I cringed, pretending to gag when I felt the way Orton strained at his trunks. At the moment, Randy was completely and blissfully unaware as to what fate awaited him if he were stupid enough to turn around and honestly?

I’m enough of a bitch that I was hell bent on not alerting Randy to it, either. Instead, I took a few shaky breaths and stared up at him defiantly. “Why do I need you, Orton? They make vibrators bigger than that fun sized Tootsie Roll I’ve heard you’re packing every day of the week. I don’t need you. Or anyone.”

I knew that part was a lie because as all this was going on, my body was in a literal frenzy at the sight of my Alpha. My skin was tight, I could barely breathe. I was doing good to think straight and form words, honestly. I was a split second away from being overwhelmed. Because thanks to my Alpha showing themselves, my heat cycle went from a mild annoyance to almost intolerable within a split second.

I needed to get away from Randy. I needed to get somewhere and calm down. But I wanted to stay exactly where I was, curious to see if my Alpha was here for the reason I’d ventured out of hair and makeup in the first place.

So far, all he was doing was standing there. Watching my little confrontation with Randy. The tension in his body quickly gave away his feelings on the matter, however. And that’s what kept me quiet. Allowed me to let Randy keep digging his own damn grave.

Because it amused me.

And I needed to know that my Alpha was actually a good Alpha. I needed to know he’d protect me, no matter what. I also needed to know that he knew when to fuck off and allow me to handle things on my own.

I wanted to test his boundaries too, if I’m being perfectly honest.

Randy bit his lip, staring down at me as if I were food and he was a starving man. He raised a hand and rubbed his chin in thought, eyes not leaving mine for a second. “Why do you need me? Well, it’s like this, doll. I want you. And you’re not in the mindset right now to turn down any Alpha who offers himself up, just goin off of that sweet little scent you’ve got yourself right now. Just drop the act, princess. You and I both know that if you don’t find an Alpha, things are going to get real messy back here. Real fast. And I don’t think you want that now, do you hon?”

,, what I want is for you to back the fuck away. Find a tube of toothpaste or some cologne or a shower, something… anything to rid yourself of the stench you’ve got yourself.” the thought came but I was treading carefully, so I kept it internal, choosing only to give a soft laugh and roll my eyes at Randy instead.

“You know exactly zilch about me and my ‘delicate state’, first of all. Secondly? I wouldn’t choose you for my Alpha if you were the last one on earth.” I managed to get the words out. I managed to keep my eyes off of my actual Alpha, who still stood by watching intently, fists clenched tight now.

When he gave a quiet growl and started to approach, the flood in my panties only got so much worse.

And naturally, Randy thought this meant that something he’d said was getting through and that I was just playing hard to get… He pressed me against him, a hand going to my cheek as he gave a smug grin and let his gaze settle on me thoughtfully. “I knew it.”

“Like I said, Randy, you really don’t have a single fucking clue.” I tried to squirm free from his grasp but the fever raging in my body and the overwhelming scent of my true Alpha as he grew angrier and angrier combined with the slightest panic I was feeling at being fucking cornered like an animal by Orton, those were all working against me and I couldn’t extract myself.

His answer was to smirk and chuckle again. “You realize I can scent you and I know exactly what’s on your mind right now, right?”

“Good, then you know I want to stab you in the eyeball with my stiletto. Or reach down, grab that little shrimp dick of yours and twist til it comes off in my hands?” I quipped, a sweet smirk on my face as I boldly met his gaze. When I picked up on him, slowly inching his face closer to mine, I swallowed hard. It felt as if my throat were closing up and it was quickly becoming clear to me that if I thought I had this under control, I really didn’t. Randy wasn’t going to stop or go away. And he wasn’t going to let me get away either.

Desperately, I found my gaze shifting over Randy’s shoulder. I locked eyes with my Alpha and mouthed, “Any day now?…” almost impatiently. I wanted Randy the entire fuck away from me. And I was really starting to realize that I couldn’t achieve that on my own. I was fully in over my head.

Typical of me, I’m afraid.

I have to admit, the fact that my Alpha had yet to actually do anything had me in an internal uproar. It had me thinking that maybe I’d gotten the wrong read on him when I watched an earlier promo in the night.

Before I had a chance to consider it fully, that my Alpha might not be a good guy either, two things happened. One, Randy’s hand left my cheek and his mouth closed in even more, rough lips almost about to brush mine and disgusting stench for a moment blocking out the scent of my Alpha. His hand settled on my hip and he was pulling me against him.

I planted a hand firmly against his chest, palm down. “What the--?” I didn’t even get to finish my sentence because from behind Randy, my Alpha’s throat cleared.

Randy grumbled to himself, picking up on the presence of my Alpha. But it was too late.

My Alpha locked eyes with me and nodded, indicating that I needed to move now, while Randy was distracted, and trust me, I wasted absolutely no time doing that. I extracted myself from between Randy and the wall I’d had my back pressed against and not even a split second later, my Alpha’s fist went smashing into Randy’s face and he had him pinned against the wall, a forearm across his throat.

And I didn’t think, I just ran.

I ran until I was out in the parking garage and then I stopped, catching my breath. It passed through my mind that maybe I should go back inside and at least attempt to be there when the brawl taking place in the hallway was over, but honestly?

I needed to get myself together. To get calm. To process and catch my breath and try to puzzle everything out.

And yeah, maybe parts of me were curious. Wondering if my Alpha would seek me out, or whether the incident in the hallway was just him stepping in because I asked…

The door to the garage flew open a few feet away and I rose up slightly, eyes darting around. The scent of my Alpha filled my senses and I bit my lip, taking a few shaky breaths right as he started to call my name. I opened my mouth to answer but nothing came. His footsteps were getting closer and closer.

My heart was racing and his scent hung heavily in the air around us, making me dizzy as the heat took over in my body. He touched me, and almost the instant I felt his hand on my shoulder, I could feel my body cooling down. This wave of relief washed over me and all I could think was that if this is what his touch felt like, I’d absolutely love more of it.

I inhaled deep, preparing myself to turn around…

[ roman ] [ drew ]

23 notes · View notes

ladynightmare913 · 3 years

Text

Red Rose, Blood Moon

Welcome to Chapter 10! This is an Original Story inspired by the tale of Red Riding Hood. I would like to say a special thank to my best friend and co-author Olivia ( @asunshinepuff ) for joining me on writing this world onto paper.

This story contains only original characters created by Olivia and myself. For those of you who want to be tagged, feel free to send an ask to me or Olivia on her blog. If you have any questions, theories, or curiosities about any of our characters or how the story will progress, send them to the ask box!

I wrote this chapter while listening to this song, hope you enjoy!

Now without Further Adieu!

Chapter 10: The Lady of the Woods

800

Red walked slowly through the winter woods. The sun was high in the sky. For some strange reason, it always snowed here. Not that he minded. The cold kept people out.

He paused in his tracks, catching the scent of distress in the winter air. Frowning, he followed the scent. It led him to a tree where a beautiful gold doe was caught in a trap. The Golden Doe, he realized. His eyes fell to its hind leg, tied by a rope.

The doe grew frantic, which didn’t surprise Red. Most animals ran away in fear of him. He stared at the doe for a moment. If he ate her meat, perhaps it would cure him from his pain when he transforms every full moon. The doe’s eyes locked onto his. They were a deep brown, almost pleading to let her go.

Luara’s voice filled his thoughts. Nothing on earth can break this spell. Even if her meat could cure him of pain, he would still be cursed. With a sigh, he slowly approached the doe.

“Please don’t kick me in the face.” He pleaded.

The doe’s head tilted, her eyes blinking curiously at him. Red untied the rope as slowly as he could. He really didn’t want to get kicked in the face. With the last knot untied, he backed away slowly.

“There, you’re free.”

The doe stared at him for a few moments, before she sprinted to the trees. Red glared at the trap. He thought of destroying it. But thought of something better. Maybe it would even discourage the hunters from hunting the Golden Doe. He smirked.

When the sounds of bewildered and outraged hunters echoed through the woods, Red only laughed in mirth.

Red saw the doe again after a particularly harsh full moon. He was chased by hunters, which he eventually escaped. She approached him, with two spotted fawns at her side. He blinked in surprise. Animals stood clear from Red, not walking right up to him, with their offspring no less.

“Are they your fawns?” He spoke softly, he sat on the snow, his legs crossed, the two fawns were sniffing his air.

The golden doe shook her head, Red raised a quizzical brow, she understood him, she looked behind her, towards the village. Ah, their mother must’ve been hunted.

“Their mother… ”

The doe’s ears perked up, she watched the fawns nuzzling him. The doe and fawns stayed for a long time, and when the sun began to set, the group of deer left. Red rose to his feet and returned to his trek up the mountain.

The trees began to thin out the higher he went, the air grew colder, and the peak of the mountain was covered by snowfall. Red walked into a cave that he found years ago when he wandered the snowy woods. The mouth of the cave was large enough for Red’s monstrous form to fit through easily.

The cave echoed with the sound of dripping water, the ground going a slight downward slope. At the exit, the stone ground gave way to the snow fall that fell through the gaping hole at the back of the mountain. There were few trees near the edges of the crater of the mountain, a small creak trickled down the crater walls into a slow stream that would eventually make its way down to the forest.

Near the center of the crater, was what looked like a cottage being constructed. Lumbar laid across the snow, tools littered the beams and a dagger sticking out from the trunk of a nearby tree. And there the wolf stayed.

A century passed, Red continued to tamper with the traps that hunters would for the Golden Doe. It was the night of the full moon, Red had shifted into his beastly form. He walked leisurely through the tree of the forest. Ears perking up, his head turning towards the sound. There the Golden Doe stood, sniffing the air as the two immortal creatures locked eyes. The black wolf with glowing gold eyes huffed before it continued on with its walk.

The doe trotted after the wolf, before eventually walking beside Red. The wolf didn’t mind the company. So they walked together in silence, and if a few hunters returned to the village screaming in terror, the doe pranced around the wolf happily.

When dawn arrived, the doe watched in nervousness as she watched the wolf laying on its side as it whimpered in pain. Her ears perked, her brown eyes wide as she looked at the man before her where the wolf once was. He was completely still. Tilting her head, she nuzzled his face, giving a few licks. Red groaned as he opened an icey blue eye. The doe bucked happily.

Red looked over the newest trap laid out for the doe, only shaking his head as he disarmed it. A twig snapped, Red turned. The golden doe froze, ears perked up. Red relaxed.

“Come to say hello?”

The doe didn’t nod her head as usual, choosing to walk towards him. Red crouched down to see if perhaps she had been wounded. The doe backed a few steps away, he looked at her in wonder. The doe simply lowered her head, as if in a bow. A soft gold light began to emanate from her, steadily growing brighter, He had to shield his eyes.

He looked once the light had faded, eyes widened as he gazed upon a young woman who stood where the doe did. She had curled rich chocolate brown hair with shimmering gold streaks. Her hair was long, nearly reaching her knees, she had fair skin and chocolate eyes. Her lips were gold, she wore a long slim form fitting golden gown with flowy sleeves at the end, the hem of her dress and sleeves turned from gold to a pearl white, a train trailing behind, the dress sparkled gently in sunlight. On her shoulders was a transparent white cloak with shimmering golden tree branches with leaves at the top, as if stitched with gold silk. Her feet were bare, and on her neck was a necklace with two golden antlers and a ruby at the center. She smiled at him.

Red gave a dazed smile in return, he slowly walked around her, studying her new form, very much like how an animal would circle it’s prey. But Red had no intention of causing harm, he was pleasantly surprised. He paused, giving a soft chuckle.

“I take it this isn’t new?”

The doe, now a woman, shook her head gently. She opened her arms wide, the sleeves hanging, twirling slowly, when she faced him again, her smile was beaming. Red starred in perplexity. She only gave a silent laugh, quickly walking up to him. Giving him a hug. Red tensed.

The woman’s eyes widen, quickly pulling away, looking over in concern. Red gave a meek smile. “It’s alright, I just wasn’t expecting it.”

The woman gave a silent huff. Red tilted his head in wonder. The woman tilted her head, mirroring him. A playful smile on her lips.

“What do I call you?” He asked, straightening his head.

The woman hmm silently, putting a finger to her lips as she gathered her thoughts. Her eyes darting side to side, she pouted, shrugging her shoulders with a smile. Red huffed a laugh.

“Very, well. How about I call you Milady for now?”

The woman made an ‘oh’ expression, her hands clasped together, nodding her head. Red shook his head in amusement at her infectious joy. The woman joined him on his walk through the snowy woods. And they continued to walk together through the centuries.

It was a sunny day, the birds sang their songs, the bears were waking for the upcoming spring, it was the beginning of Red’s second century as a cursed wolf. But no matter if it was spring or summer, it always snowed. Red suspected the Golden Doe had something to do with it.

It was a rough moon, his muscles protested whenever he tried to get up. Ever since the Golden Doe had taken to him, shifting into his monstrous form, her presence always calmed the beast. Keeping him company and steering him clear of wandering travelers. He hadn’t had another ‘accident’ since Bardolph, but he didn’t trust himself around other humans.

She was in her human form now, tending to his aching bones. She frowned whenever she saw the black wolf mark on his chest. Red never met her knowing gaze. She knew what it was. She pointed at it, always giving him a questioning gaze. He would only sigh before he left her with no answer. This time, she only glared at it.

“I deserved it.” He spoke at last.

She didn’t look at him, only continued to gently place crushed herbs to dress his wound. Which he had noticed his wounds were beginning to heal faster each time. Her brows only raised in skepticism. As if she didn’t believe it for a second.

“It’s true. I killed an innocent creature and now I pay the price.” In response, she gave him an unimpressed glare. Shaking her head, she finished her task. She stood up, looking over to him expectantly. She wanted him to stand. He did.

Her hands pressed against her chest, then to his. She backed away, the same gold light from before emanated from her, and she was a doe once more. She walked around him, then reverted back to her human appearance. She smiled as she pointed at him. He frowned.

“I can’t shift outside of the moon.”

She promptly rolled her eyes, as if the details of the curse were irrelevant to her. Again she pointed at him. Rolling his eyes, he decided to indulge her. He closed his eyes, the mark on his chest snarled, his heart began to feel as if it was being crushed, his eyes snapped open. “I can’t.”

She frowned. She walked closer to him, poking at the mark on his chest. Glaring up at him. He glared back. “It hurts.”

Her gaze softened, but she poked him again. The wolf mark moved, as if to bite her finger, she only glared at it. Red tried again. He pushed himself farther, he screamed in pain. He unknowingly growled, blood dripping from his mouth. The Golden Doe pulled him into an embrace, begging him to stop, she was crying. Red was crying too.

She never brought it up again. But Red felt, something. So continued to try to shift outside of the moon. The Golden Doe was there every time, stopping him before she felt his heart would burst.

Years passed, the creatures of the Snowy Woods no longer feared him, not with the Golden Doe’s influence. Always bringing injured animals to him, and newborns. Red didn’t understand at first, but soon the animals would come to him on their own. As if they knew he belonged in their forest.

It was dark, it was always dark in the woods at night. Red didn’t mind, he could see just fine. He was returning to his cave when the Golden Doe approached him. She looked distressed, so wordlessly he followed her. She led him into the thickest part of the woods, and there, a young boy was alone. He was crying. Red frowned, the boy was clearly lost. He looked to the doe beside him.

The doe’s ears perked up, nuzzling his face. Stay. Watch. She walked out of the brush, startling the boy. He gasped at the sight of the beautiful doe. Red silently chuckled as he watched from a distance. The doe gently nuzzled the boy’s face, bringing out a smile. She pranced around the child in a circle, the boy’s tears dried as he laughed.

She walked ahead of the boy, turning her head to look at the child. Ears perking up, her tail wagged gently. The child giggled quickly chasing after the doe. Red followed them at a distance. The child’s laughter echoed throughout the forest the entire way back to his village. The boy ran off when he saw the village lanterns on, his name being called.

The doe only returned into the forest once the boy was in his mother’s arms. She shifted back into her human form as she approached Red. A fond smile on her lips as she looked out to the reunited mother and son. It was the same fond smile his own mother used to give him.

“Do you have children?” He found himself asking. Curious, she was clearly older than he was, and she was always so nurturing to animals of the forest. If she did, it wouldn’t surprise him.

Her eyes widened as she turned to look at him, she quickly shook her, then paused. Her lips formed a thin line as she seemed to rethink her answer. She perked up, forming an answer. She turned back to the forest, her hand motioning inside it, then bringing to her chest, over her heart. A radiant smile. Ah.

“The entire woods are your children?” He chuckled, amused.

Her eyes closed as she bowed her head. That was a yes. Red bowed his in return. “Well my lady, let’s return home.” She only smiled brighter, walking ahead. Red wondered if she ever stopped smiling.

Another century passed, people began to have sightings of a beautiful maiden living within the Snowy Woods, ruling over the forest. Dressed in regal white and gold, a gold antler necklace with a ruby at the center. Some say they saw her helping lost travelers find their way out of the mysterious snowy woods. Others say she appeared out of thin air near Norwich, and was kept prisoner by the beast that lived on the mountain. Keeping the villagers safe with her sacrifice. They named her the Lady of the Woods. Red would always burst into satirical laughter.

“I supposed calling you Milady was quite fitting.” He said one sunny winter’s day. They sat on a large boulder looking over the new village that was being built beside her forest. They were right after all, the other humans, this was her forest. She simply allowed Red to live within her domain. She smacked his arm reproachfully.

“They call you Lady of the Woods and yet they still hunt for your head.” Red stated as he looked at her. “They don’t even know you and the Golden Doe are one and the same.”

She simply sighed, she couldn’t deny that it was indeed exhausting always running away from the very people who wished for her protection, and still hunted her. But she never held a grudge towards the humans. She stilled, a wide grin forming. Red internally groaned. Not again, not another idea.

“No, no, get that look off your face. Remember the last time you had one of your crazed ideas?” He raised a brow. She pouted but otherwise ignored him. She grabbed onto his arm, pulling him along as she walked towards the edge of the forest. Stopping to point at the village all while looking at him with a smile. Red looked between her and the village.

“You want to go to the village?”

She shook her, poking at his chest, then back to the village.

“You want me to go to the village?” He raised a skeptical brow.

She rolled her eyes as she nodded, her hands mentioned in a circular fashion, as if to say, and further. Red looked annoyed.

“You want me to go to the village, and further?” He received an excited nod. He frowned in irritation. “Why? You go, this was your idea.”

She sighed with a pout. Both her hands land to her chest, then point to the ground. She puffed out a breath of air, blowing the hair from her face. She repeated her action when he didn’t speak. Finally he understood when she moved her hands to form a tree. I can’t leave the forest.

“You may not be able to leave, what makes you think I would want to. I know humans, and we are not the best creatures out there. Trust me, I know.”

She raised her hands to face and grunted. Glaring at him, she lifted his shirt and poked the wolf mark on his chest.

“Wolf.” He supplied the words for her. She nodded, then pointed to the village.

“I am not going to the village on a full moon.”

He knew that wasn’t what she meant, but it was too easy to rile his friend up. Her hand landed on her forehead, a deep sigh leaving her. Her eyes peaked through her fingers. She repeated her actions.

“Village.” She nodded, and pointed again. “House?” She shook her head, motioning between them, their arms and legs. “People?” She nodded. Twirling her wrist for him to continue. “Human?”

She snapped her fingers. She repeated her hand expressions once more, to the wolf on his chest, the village, and back to him. Shaking her head.

“You don’t want me to go because I am a human?”

She shook her head again. She pointed again to the wolf. Finally, Red understood.

“You want me to go because I am not human?” He spoke lowly.

She nodded, tapped her head. She had used that hand motion before. Forgotten.

“I am human.” He received a gentle shake of her head. Red’s shoulders fell. He knew Luara had cursed him, and that he could no longer die, or age. But he still slept, and ate. Had the curse turned him from a human into a complete monster?

She shook her head again, her arms crossed, as if to hold something, then pointed to the village, then nodded her head. Then she pointed to the wolf on his chest, pointed to the village, and shook her head. She touched her chest, over her heart and to her head, then back to him. Red understood. He wasn’t human more, but in a way he still was. Just not physically anymore.

He didn’t say anything more, and she didn’t press further. They returned back to the forest. Two days later, she sent Red off with a radiant smile as he left the forest. Where he was going or when he would return, neither of them knew. Only it was beyond Norwich. The Golden Doe waited for her friend, days turning into weeks, weeks to months, months, into years. Time was different for the two of them. They were immortals in an ever changing world. And Red always returned.

Two centuries passed, Red traveled to many different lands, learned different cultures and learned many different things. Traveling brought him peace. Reminding him how to be human. At least in how to act like one, given that he was no longer human, but more animal.

The Golden Doe raced across the path up the snowy mountain, a group of hunters on horses and dogs chasing after her. The doe stopped in her tracks as a group of hunters blocked her way to the snowy woods. Her ears flatten as she runs in another direction.

She knew they were herding her to a trap. It was only moments later that she was a stone wall in her path. The doe looked to the hunters gathering behind her, her back to the wall.

The dogs barked as they got closer. The hunters dismounted. The doe only watched as they made their way closer. And stopped. The doe’s ears perked up at the sound of running hoofbeats. Looking up from the wall above, a herd of red deer jumped from the ledge, pushing the bewildered hunters back. If the doe could chuckle in her form, she would be. The dogs chased after the many deer, the hunters tried calling for them. The Golden Doe pranced her way from the hunters before they noticed.

Once safely inside the woods, she shifted to her human appearance, laughing silently at the dazed hunters.

“That never gets old.”

Her eyes widened, turning her head she smiled brightly. There Red stood, in his familiar cloak that now dorned black fur and smirk on his face. She embraced him. Now she knew who sent that herd of terrified deer her way. She pulled away. The years had flown by so quickly. They walked through the forest, as they usually did whenever he returned. She would ask him questions in her silent way. He would always do his best to give her the answers she desired. Telling her of what he had seen, learned, tasted, and experienced. And the years melted away.

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