#I technically didn’t even do anything wrong but DAMN it did not go right either

[bigboysteveharrington]

Robin and Steve getting roped into playing DnD but they show up with one character sheet for the both of them and the character’s a girl so Eddie turns to Steve and asks “What about your character?”

Steve tells him, “That is my character.” So Eddie looks a little closer at it and assumes he chose a girl so that he could design a character to have traits he’d find hot without any thought for how useful any of what he was choosing would be (and Eddie is mostly correct, but he doesn’t know that the character is the product of Robin and Steve compromising and working together to make one sexy badass lady that fulfilled their collective fantasy or that they had an extended debate about which of the sexiest weapon options would be the most practical in a life or death situation)

Eddie turns to Robin and asks, “Okay. Then what about your character? Did you even make one?” And Robin doesn’t hesitate to tell him, “That’s my character too.” And Steve proudly adds, “We came up with it together.” And it’s very clear that he and Robin are oblivious to how on edge everyone else in the room is while they wait for Eddie’s reaction to them doing the most basic task completely wrong because they’re both just smiling dopily and clearly think they’ve done a great job

Eddie sighs heavily. He’s on the verge of exploding and trying and failing to keep his voice calm as he says, “You can’t have two of the same character.”

And Robin says, “Oh, we’re not playing as two of her. We’re both the same character.” And everyone is just staring at them in shock not saying anything so Steve fills the silence with a proud, “We’re a package deal.”

And Eddie is using up every last shred of self control he has to not yell in their faces about how stupid they are, but he’s still obviously upset as he barks out “That’s not how it works. You have to make your own characters.”

And Steve insists, “No, we figured it out... On our own? We’re disasters. But if we could morph into one person? We’d be unstoppable.” And Robin adds, “We’ll roll and decide what we’re going to do together. It’ll be just like we’re one player.”

And Eddie doesn’t even know where to start, so he snaps, “Even setting aside the fact that you think you’d somehow become invincible if you managed to morph into one person, the character you two made doesn’t resemble either of you. At all. This isn’t you combining into some unstoppable force. Clearly, neither of you have any clue what you’re doing. Combining your forces is just turning you into two haves of one whole idiot.”

And before Eddie can keep ranting, Steve emphatically says, “That’s exactly what we are. So why split us up?” And Eddie stares at him incredulously, wondering how he didn’t pick up on the insult, then turns on Dustin and accuses, “I thought you said you got the Wonder Twins ready. You didn’t tell them to make another character?”

Dustin defends himself with, “They wanted to make their characters on their own. I loaned them my Player’s Handbook and told them what they needed... They called when they had questions. It sounded like they knew what they were talking about. I assumed they made their own.”

Erica sounds super skeptical as she asks, “Steve read a book?” And Eddie is shocked that that’s where Steve finally decides to draw the line and react to being insulted. Steve complains, “Hey!” But he knows damn well that Robin was the one explaining what the book meant to him. But still… that doesn’t mean he didn’t read any of it or that he was incapable of it. It was just easier when Robin took over wading through the technical terms.

Robin ignores Steve and Erica and focuses on Eddie as she insists, “Two halves of one whole idiot is better than two idiots that have no idea what they’re doing, right? If we’re going to be a liability to everyone else anyway, wouldn’t you rather there just be one of us?”

And she has a point so Eddie groans and reluctantly agrees, “Fine. You can be one character.” And Steve and Robin grin because they are far more excited about that and about the coming up with a character together part than they are about the actual game…

That is until they get far enough into the game to understand what’s going on and they start taking every choice Very Seriously. Eddie won’t ever admit it out loud, but once they start to get the hang of things, he does see the benefit of them playing as one person. Robin brings strategy and problem solving skills and Steve knows what to do with their character in a battle. Plus, they both have a lot of random knowledge on wildly different topics from everyone else in the room and sometimes that is a hindrance, but sometimes it’s an advantage too. And somehow they collectively think differently enough from the other more practiced players that they keep Eddie on his toes trying to be prepared for whatever they might bring up and then still being shocked by some of the choices they talk each other into and he ends up improvising a lot to keep up with their unexpected questions and choices and he hates to admit it, but it does add another layer of fun to things

#Another one I may drop as a one-shot one day #Platonic with a capital P #Platonic Stobin #Steve Harrington & Robin Buckley #Steve Harrington #Robin Buckley #Eddie Munson #Hellfire Club #Stranger Things #ST #ST4 #Mine

[averagewriter-inthedark]

Being a nurse & part of the Basterds | IB headcanon

Link to my IB masterlist

I ain’t having my mans Wicki & Stiglitz dying in that damn basement.

Being a nurse and member of the Basterds would look like:

First and foremost, all the guys are VERY protective of you. I’m talking if someone so much as breath’s wrong in your direction, they would no longer be breathing five seconds later. Most of them see you as a little/older sister and therefore would do anything to make sure nothing happened to you. For the ones who have feelings a little more on the ‘more than friends’ level, they would sacrifice themselves to save you if it came down to it. They’re all well aware you can pretty much kick anyones ass if you tried, but they still feel like they should be the one’s doing the ass kicking.

Aldo recruited you in his initial work of gathering the team. He needed to make sure that if someone went down or needed to be checked then a professional was there. You had been top of your nursing class, working the up ranks of the Army Nurses Corps that by the time Aldo offered you the position you were already a Captain. There was an automatic respect, not just because you technically outranked the boys, but because you were a hard worker, caring, badass, and didn’t take shit from anyone. Aldo could still remember the first meeting you two had in which he left the room thinking, “Them Nazi fucks ain’t ready for a woman like that.”

Of course your main job was to provide medical expertise for the guys. Not only did you tend to their wounds, but you also educated them for emergencies in case too many of them got hurt or you were at camp while some went into town. Wicki and Smitty were the ones who were most interested in learning. “You need to stop the bleeding first—are you watching?—good, then you clean it before disinfecting until finally you dress the wound.” Donny would sit and watch you teach for the hell of it, but never partake which greatly annoyed you. “Donny, what’re you going to do if it’s just you and I’m not there to help save your ass?” *shrugs* “Guess I’m fucked.”

As a member of the Basterds, you were expected to gift Aldo 100 Nazi scalps. And you always paid your debts. It took almost a year for you to accomplish the goal since you often stayed at the base camp. Once in a blue moon when they needed info out of a kraut, they’d haul his ass back to camp so you can do the honors. “Got a surprise for you, doll.” “How lovely for you boys to do such a thing.”

On the rare occasions you guys get to take a night off, you’ll wind up at a dance hall. It is obligation from there that you dance with every Basterd before the doors close for the evening. Donny is usually the first to drag you by the hand the second y’all arrive and from there you’ll either be passed to the next, or the sly basterds will cut in middle of the dance. It should also be mentioned that you’re the only person Hugo will dance with. The man will literally be approached by dames left and right, but simply gives them a look of ‘no thanks.’ Meanwhile all you have to do is bat your eyelashes and the Nazi killer is soft as a teddy bear.

God forbid you get hurt. The guys don’t know what the hell to do—save for Wicki and Smitty—so they’re cussing and yelling all around causing you more stress than you need. Eventually you’ll have enough and throw a roll of gauze at their heads to get them to shut the hell up. Wicki bans them from your tent while he works while Smitty provides you comfort. “Fuck how bad is it?” “The knife got you pretty deep, but it looks like it didn’t hit anything major. You’ll be in pain, but at least you’re alive.” You’ll then smirk and make some sly comment of, “well well, who taught you all that, doc?”

On top of being the nurse, you also take on the job of cutting the boys hair when it gets too long (Donny will also since mans is literally a barber) and inspecting their teeth. The scissors you had were for cutting gauze and stitches and shit, but you made the exception to give them hair cuts every few months. Thankfully you had family members who often came to you for hair cuts before the war, so you knew how to not fuck up there hair. And it was something the boys enjoyed because they got to sit one on one with you and relax. Sometimes it would even lull them to sleep.

When the team lost Micheal and Simon, you took it the hardest. After the ambush the guys hauled them back to you with hopes they’d make it. You did everything you could, using up the last of whatever materials you had to keep them alive but in the end their injuries were too much. When you knew there was nothing more you could do, one a time you took their hand and pressed a kiss to their forehead as they took their last breath. For days you stayed in your tent to cry from sunrise to sunset, usually with the rest of the guys taking turns to hold you.

In the beginning, you vowed you’d never let yourself get romantically involved with any of the basterds. This was both a professional and personal reason. Professional as you were their nurse (not to mention you outranked them), and personal as there was a war where everyday could be your last. The last thing you wanted was to fall in love and have to continue you on your own if something happened or vise versa. But the heart wants what it wants and it was no surprise when you eventually did strike up a relationship with one of them.

It wasn’t hard for the others to figure out who it was once they noticed the man (of your choosing) kept a close eye on you more than usually and would get jealous from time to time. Then on a mission where you were tasked to play a part of an unsuspecting French Nazi sympathizer to lure them to the Basterds, your lover was not forthcoming with letting you do it. “It is too dangerous, doll.” “Well that’s why I have you to protect me.”

When Operation Kino came to the team you were hesitant. Already you didn’t trust Von Hammersmark, but not because you didn’t doubt her loyalty to the allies. It was because you believed she wouldn’t put your team in harms way without realizing it. These were your men, your friends, your brothers, and then there was your lover. There was nothing you would not do to keep them safe. So when the shoot out sounded in the basement 20 minutes after Wicki and Hugo went in Donny had to basically tackle you to stop you from going down there. “Let me go, Donny!” “We don’t know if anyone’s alive yet—it could be a trap!”

After Aldo made the deal—to which the young Wilhelm met the end of Bridget Lugar, you guys recovered her, Wicki, Stiglitz, and Hicox and brought them to safety. All of them had been hit with at least 3 shots to various parts of their bodies so time was at the essence. Eventually y’all made it to a vet’s office where you immediately got to work on the four with the vet and Smitty assisting you in anyway he could. Heated and suspicious of Bridget, you refused to help her saying, “Get that bitch out of my face until you find out what the hell she’s up to.”

Luckily Wicki and Hugo —and even Hixoc though you were pissed at him for selling the team out, pulled through (which you probably would’ve went on a rampage if they didn’t). They needed to be cared for more and so you and Andy stayed at the makeshift infirmary you set up at the vet’s while the others went to complete Operation Kino. When Hirschberg came rushing back hours later covered in blood and frantic, “We gotta go!” you three helped your wounded basterds up and out of the place into some van Hirschberg had stolen.

When the war came to an end, thanks to your bunch of Nazi killing basterds, you walked hand in hand with your lover across the tarmac to go back home. The others met you with hugs and teasing remarks, but promises to keep in touch once you all went your separate ways. You weren’t sure what you’d do once you were back in the states. There was the option of staying an Army nurse, but part of you wanted something more. And with your brothers in arms and lover by your side, anything was possible.

#inglorious basterds x reader #inglourious basterds headcanons #inglourious basterds #aldo raine #hugo stiglitz #wilhelm wicki #donny donowitz #bridget von hammersmark #quentin tarantino characters #omar ulmer #smithson utivich #Donny donowitz x reader #Aldo raine x reader #Wilhelm wicki x reader #Hugo Stiglitz x reader

[peptothesi]

JoJo’s (1-5) with a s/o that got braces (to the people who have braces what’s it like being sexy bitches-)

Jonathan

🐶 I did research and they did in fact have braces in the 1800s so this makes it easier I guess.

🐶 He immediately gets worried when you start covering your mouth when you smile, what’s wrong with his darling?

🐶 He asks you and who are you to refuse such a polite man so you tell him and show off your braces.

🐶 It’s Jonathan so OBVIOUSLY he’s supportive.

🐶 You tell him you’re insecure he’ll do WHATEVER he can to make you feel better.

🐶 If Dio teases you he will fuck shit up.

🐶 He’s a curious dude though he will ask questions within the limits of making sure you aren’t uncomfortable.

🐶 Like did they’re hurt getting them? Are they bothersome?

🐶 He accompanies you to your visits to the orthodontist and holds your hand.

🐶 You can’t eat certain things? Well now he doesn’t either who needs ‘em.

🐶 He thinks you look cute with them.

🐶 “Oh darling why are you covering your mouth? Braces? May I see them? I won’t laugh or anything like that? Please? *sees braces* Oh! I don’t understand why you were so worried my love you look wonderful!”

Joseph

✈️ This bastard is going to call you every nickname in the book.

✈️ Asks if aliens can contact you through your braces (I’ve heard someone say this and I fucking hate myself for laughing-)

✈️ He sees them accidentally and fucking screams.

✈️ WHAT HAPPENED TO YOU!!

✈️ When you explain, he’s just like “Ah so you finally did something about those teeth”

✈️ He’s a prick BUT he will beat up anyone who makes fun of you.

✈️ He will mourn for you when you have to give up certain things, I mean he could support you but he won’t.

✈️ He goes with you to get your brackets tightened and he screams and then gets kicked out.

✈️ That’s a form of torture.

✈️ On his hands and knees thanking the joestar genes for good teeth.

✈️ “ Then I said- OH MY GOD!! What happened to your mouth what did you do!!*explanation* AH! Well now that I look at it they quite suit you braceface-“*smack*

Jotaro

🐬 Jotaro doesn’t give a shit period.

🐬 Honestly he didn’t even notice you had them until you started complaining about them.

🐬 Yare Yare daze..

🐬 Can you get them in aqua or blue like dolphins He just doesn’t care it’s not his problem.

🐬 If you ask him to get or pick you up something for your he might, only because he’s picking up something that’s right beside it.

🐬 I suppose you look decent with them on 🙄

🐬 “What are you whining at- Oh you have braces k”

Josuke

💛 As a kid who has had braces (this is a head cannon and you can’t tell me shit-) he understands what’s going on.

💛 He’s seen all the signs, you covering your mouth when you smile or talk, not eating around anyone, not eating or drinking certain things.

💛 He DEMANDS you show him in the most polite and playful way possible.

💛 His heart flutters, you look adorable and he won’t hesitate to say otherwise.

💛 If you get purple elastics 🤌.

💛 Anyone who insults you can answer to him.

💛 He walks into the orthodontist and gets Vietnam flashbacks.

💛 Hell try stay away from stuff you can’t have and try to support you as best as he can but does not succeed around 25% of the time in secret which he will never tell.

💛 Tomoko has pictures of him with braces in her photo album but Josuke has burned that book and pissed on the ashes, hates the damn thing.

💛 I mean he could technically fix them with crazy diamond but nah you’re too cute with braces.

💛 “Can I see your braces please? Pleaseeee! Aw come on! My mom has pictures of me with braces you can see that in return! *shows braces* See! That wasn’t so bad! You are so cute! Much cuter than me when I had mine!”

Giorno

🐸 Why are you hiding your mouth from him he doesn’t understand.

🐸 First if all how dare you hide your smile from him second why are you hiding from him is something wrong 🥺-

🐸 He finds out pretty soon anyways.

🐸 When you both are alone ,he makes you laugh one day and catches your hands before you cover your smile.

🐸 He is just like 😳 mama mia-

🐸 He doesn’t mind them at all.

🐸 You look so cute.

🐸 If someone says anything to make you insecure they will have a couple of visitors.

🐸 Will hold your hand at the orthodontist.

🐸 Will supply anything you need.

🐸 (I don’t know what to say he’s a fucking copy paste Jonathan just sneakier-)

🐸 “You look beautiful/handsome amore mio, don’t hide your smile from me!”

Leave suggestions on what I should do next lmao-

#female y/n #giorno x reader #gn y/n #jjba x reader #jjba x y/n #jonathan joestar x reader #joseph joestar x reader #josuke higashikata x reader #jotaro x reader #male y/n

[jmagnabo92]

GGSB Fest 2024 - Who Says You're Good Enough?

@goodgodfathersiriusblack

Prompt - Sirius Dating

When Harry notices certain order members flirting with a recently freed Sirius, he decides to question them on why they think they're good enough for him, not knowing Sirius isn't ready to date just yet.

Ao3

**

Despite having to visit his horrible family’s house from time to time, Sirius is incredibly happy to be a free man.  Frankly, given everything that happened during Harry’s fourth year, he hadn’t exactly expected Harry bringing Pettigrew back after Voldemort’s return and getting him freed.  

He’d instantly taken custody of Harry – Dumbledore be damned – and offered his family’s home as Headquarters for the Order.  This meant frequent visits for lame meetings that never went anywhere, while his kid and his friends try to spy.  It also meant enjoying some attentions that he hadn’t been enjoying since well before his arrest (too busy fighting in the war).  

Sirius had to admit that he enjoyed the fact that Bill, Kingsley, and Remus all seemed to be flirting with him.  Especially the first since it is clearly driving Molly up the wall.  

But the fact is that Sirius doesn’t have time for dating, not when he’s got a kid in the center of a war.  

Still, he could enjoy their attentions.

***

Harry’s pouting.  

Okay, maybe pouting isn’t the right word, but when he and his friends had come in for dinner after the Order meeting, he could tell that certain others were flirting with Sirius and okay maybe Hermione and Ginny had to point it out to him but now that he’s aware, he’s not happy about it.  

How could any of them think that they are good enough for Sirius?  

Lupin had abandoned him.

Kingsley was the head of the search committee for him (although that was disbanded once Sirius finally got freed).

And Bill was … well, Harry didn’t have a reason that technically had to do with Bill, but more letting Mrs. Weasley be mean to him.  

Not good enough.  

“Don’t you think you’re being unfair?” Hermione asks.  “Sirius deserves to be happy, and he seems to be enjoying their attentions.”

“No, he deserves the best and none of them are the best.”

“Alright, Harry.”

***

“You alright there, Harry?” Kingsley asks, one dinner time after yet another pointless order meeting.  Sirius is pretty sure that he’s not meant to be overhearing this conversation given Harry’s response.

“I’m fine – just trying to figure out why any of you think you’re good enough.”

“Good enough for what?”

“Good enough to date my godfather when none of you did anything for him?”

Kingsley looks shocked, and he can see a similar look on Bill and Remus’ faces. 

“Er, Harry… I – I didn’t know your godfather before what happened, and I was just doing my job.  As soon as I knew the truth, I would’ve stopped, but I can’t apologize for my past of being on the hunt for Sirius when I had no idea, he was innocent.”

Harry huffs but looks like he can’t really argue with that.

“And I’m not sure what I did wrong, other than maybe my mother’s comments, but you should know that you can’t control your family.  It’s not like I really knew him enough to fight for his innocence,” Bill says.  

It’s clear that they all knew that this is something that they have to answer for in order to potentially be with Sirius.  

Harry huffs, again.  “I suppose that’s true…”

They all turn as one to Remus – who looks massively guilty.

“I suppose this means that I’m entirely out of the running.”

“Duh,” Harry says, petulantly.  “Not only did you abandon him, you abandoned me and in case you hadn’t noticed, Sirius isn’t going to give anyone the time of day when they don’t deserve it.”

“I did apologize, and he also thought I was the traitor –”

“That doesn’t make it okay,” Harry states, clearly angry.  “And he would never give you a chance if I can’t forgive you, either, so…”

Sirius grins.  He’s got a point.  Remus never stood a chance – even if he enjoyed the flirting.  

Remus, clearly annoyed, gets up and walks away.  

Harry turns to the other two, “Just because you’re better than Lupin, doesn’t mean you’re good enough.”

Kingsley gives him a soft smile as Bill laughs.  “Well, maybe someday when you’re ready to share your godfather, we can revisit the idea of being worthy of him, until then, there’s no harm in flirting, is there?  After all, he seems to like the attention.”

Harry sighs.  “I guess not.”

***

After that, Sirius decides to wait until they get home to address Harry’s intervention into Sirius’ dating life.

“Er, before you go to bed,” Sirius starts.  “I thought we’d have a little chat.”

Harry looks down guiltily.  “Did you hear the conversation with…?”

“I did,” Sirius states, as Harry sits on the settee.  “And I just want to talk about it…”

“I know that I shouldn’t intervene, but you deserve the best after everything and –”

“Kiddo, I appreciate the thought behind it, really I do, but I can take care of myself, and I’m not looking to date right now.”

Harry looks up hopefully.  “You’re not?”

“I’m not,” Sirius assures him.  “I just got freed, and I need to focus on you and on us… I don’t have time for it, and I’m not ready for it.  Someday, maybe, but right now – I only have time for you.”

Harry flushes.  “I’m sorry I intervened, I just… you just got freed and I… I didn’t want to share you.”

Sirius gives him a soft smile.  “I know, and that’s okay.  I am totally okay with not being shared for a while.”

“Then why let them flirt with you?”

Sirius chuckles.  “I like the attention.  After so long in Azkaban, it’s nice to know I’m still a catch.”

“You are,” Harry assures him.  “And that’s why I was worried that they weren’t good enough…”

Sirius grins.  “Usually it’s the other way around, but it doesn’t matter because I’m not dating anyone right now.  I just want to focus on you and I and building that family life together that we deserve.”

“Sounds brilliant.”

“Good.”

#sirius black #harry james potter #sirius and harry #sirius and harry saturday #good godfather sirius black #Good Godfather Sirius Black Fest 2024

[choices-binglebonkus]

With The Phantom Agent ending tomorrow (today technically, it’s midnight where I am) I’d like to do a little retrospective on the book by listing ten things it did right and ten things it did wrong. In my opinion, anyway.

#10 Right: The soundtrack. All of the music in this one is really good. I could listen to it for hours and not get tired of it. Very well done.

#10 Wrong: The pacing. I honestly can’t even really explain the issues I have with this story’s pacing. It feels very fast-paced but also really slow and glacial at the same time. I don’t know why that is, but I don’t like it.

#9 Right: The outfits. The outfits are generally very cute, except for the fem!MC’s “cold weather” outfit that exposes their midriff. Barring that one, the rest of the outfits are either pleasant or actually cute.

#9 Wrong: Lack of characters. A lot of modern stories have a pretty severe lack of major characters, this one included. The only major characters are the MC, Agent Gray, Vivian, and the Architect and the Contractor/Rowan but those are antagonists we don’t spend much time with. To have a small cast of characters, the few you do have need to be interesting enough to make up for the lack of other characters, and imo, the only interesting one of our group is Vivian. Which conveniently leads me to my next point, actually.

#8 Right: Vivian. No one else seems to like Vivian but I do. She’s pretty, funny, and she is a BEAST. I would pay 30 diamonds to give her back surgery because her back is probably fucked the hell up from carrying the entire mission. And even better, she’s not a reused character sprite! Hell yes!

#8 Wrong: The hookups. I may be in a minority here, but I didn’t enjoy any of the hookups. The only one I actually liked was Rowan’s, but the rest were very unimpressive.

#7 Right: The MC’s pronouns. Any story that includes GOC and pronouns is automatically that much better.

#7 Wrong: The MC. The MC was so incompetent at their job GAIA eventually thought they were a traitor when Rowan was revealed to be alive, in addition to being obnoxious and annoying throughout the entire book. Anyone who’s played Choices knows that if the MC is an unbearable knucklehead that the story isn’t going to be very enjoyable.

#6 Right: The fight scenes. Don’t get me wrong, this book is no TC&TF, but I had a lot of fun with the fight scenes. I thought they were pretty well written and engaging.

#6 Wrong: The rest of the writing. It’s not that the writing was bad, it’s just that it felt very constrained and unsure of itself. Like the writers had never written anything like this book before and were so nervous they’d mess it up that it affected the quality of their work.

#5 Right: Rowan’s romance. The romance scenes we got with Rowan were very few and far between, and yet the energy between them and the MC was so palpable. Their romance and love for each other felt so real and the longing was so present. How Rowan X TPA MC is such a brief pairing yet it’s so much more genuine and meaningful than most of the other modern book romances, I’ll never understand.

#5 Wrong: Rowan’s antagonism. Rowan’s antagonism felt very half-baked, and damn it, I’m gonna say it again. I’m gonna! Here goes: Rowan was WASTED and should have been the love interest. There. There it is. Once again.

#4 Right: Uniqueness in missions. If there is one thing that can be said about TPA, it’s that a lot of the chapters had us doing a lot of different stuff in the name of the mission. Gambling, auctions, infiltrating a hospital, there is no shortage of variety in the things we had to do.

#4 Wrong: Story similarities. As I played through TPA more and more, I eventually came to realize that as several other people have pointed out, it shares a LOT of similarities with Most Wanted and Crimes of Passion. Like, a lot of them. And also stop and consider that Crimes of Passion is still an ongoing series. Soooo…

#3 Right: Vivian’s diamond inventions. I personally didn’t buy any of Vivian’s special gadgets but I was so tempted to. I also liked how none of them were collectibles because let’s be real, collectible collections need to go like yesterday.

#3 Wrong: Everything about the Architect. And yes, I do mean everything. His design looks like a cross between an old man who would heckle me over gerbils if I still worked at the pet store and that one coworker who always steals peoples’ lunches, then lies about it and calls them bullies for calling him out. Overly specific comparison aside, I also found his motives very confusing. Like…does he want world domination? Redistribution of wealth? Death to the corrupt elite? I read all of his lore and background and I’m still confused as hell. I don’t know. He was just a lower-mid villain IMO.

#2 Right: Lack of filler. I never thought I’d see the day where another story arose with minimal filler. The story consistently moves forward and thank god for that, even if the pacing was kind of strange.

#2 Wrong: Sense of urgency. The sense of urgency in the book is hard to understand and appreciate fully because once again, the Architect and his motives are confusing as hell. It’s been hard to bring myself to care because I just…don’t care.

#1 Right: The MC’s loss and bereavement. The MC’s emotions surrounding the loss of Rowan (both times) was very jarring and strongly written. I could almost feel a fraction of the MC’s anguish just through the writing. It was the strongest writing in this book and they did a really good job here.

#1 Wrong: Everything about Agent Gray. I’ll try to keep it brief as I’ve talked about it before. Agent Gray���s sprites are all ugly. Their personality is stiff and unwelcoming and quite frankly I can’t even fathom why Gray and the MC fall for each other so quickly because their dynamic is so distant and icy. It only gets worse when you remember the impeccable chemistry between the MC and Rowan. Agent Gray was an all-around flop.

#long post #the phantom agent #choices the phantom agent #choices tpa #tpa #anti agent gray #rowan salazar #choices stories you play #playchoices #choices stories we play #pixelberry #pixelberry studios #playchoices fandom #choices stories you play fandom #choices stories we play fandom

[usergreenpixel]

JACOBIN FICTION CONVENTION MEETING 29: NAPOLEON’S PYRAMIDS (2007)

1. The introduction

Well, hello again, dear Citizens! Welcome back to Jacobin Fiction Convention because it is now back in session!

Okay, first I will get one thing out of the way. I’m doing much better than I did in summer, hence the decision to resume my reviews. And what better way to make a comeback than to get the promised things out of the way first?!

On that note, I introduce to you the topic of today’s meeting: “Napoleon’s Pyramids”, a novel in the adventure genre set in the Egyptian campaign. Now, Directory years don’t have a good reputation in the Frev community, but technically those years are still officially Frev, hence my decision to include this book in the Jacobin Fiction Convention category.

Anyway, I’m pretty sure some people in my audience already know it, but I LOVE adventure stories, so when I stumbled across this book on a quest to find more Frev/Napoleonic media to review, you can bet your ass that I got excited!

Also, its resemblance to an Indiana Jones story initially drew me in, as I used to like the first Indiana Jones movie as a kid (not so much now) so there is some nostalgia involved here as well.

Luckily for me, I managed to find the book in pdf format here:

Then I did more research and it’s available in Russian too, mainly online and sometimes in paperback form, so my fellow Russian speakers who aren’t good at English can find the Russian version!

Is it worth looking for though? Well, let’s find out.

This review is dedicated to @mamelukeraza .

2. The Summary

Here’s the summary from Amazon and, apparently, the back cover of the book:

What mystical secrets lie beneath the Great Pyramids?

The world changes for Ethan Gage—one-time assistant to the renowned Ben Franklin—on a night in post-revolutionary Paris, when he wins a mysterious medallion in a card game. Framed soon after for the murder of a prostitute and facing the grim prospect of either prison or death, the young expatriate American barely escapes France with his life—choosing instead to accompany the new emperor, Napoleon Bonaparte, on his glorious mission to conquer Egypt. With Lord Nelson's fleet following close behind, Gage sets out on the adventure of a lifetime. And in a land of ancient wonder and mystery, with the help of a beautiful Macedonian slave, he will come to realize that the unusual prize he won at the gaming table may be the key to solving one of history's greatest and most perilous riddles: who built the Great Pyramids . . . and why?

By all accounts, this book should have been right up my alley! I mean, we have adventures, ancient artifacts, mysteries and clues! What could possibly go wrong?!

(Spoiler alert: A LOT. More on that later.)

3. The Story

First of all, I didn’t really like the beginning of the book, mostly because the narrator (Ethan Gage) really takes his precious ass time to dive into his backstory and explain how he ended up at a table playing that fateful card game. I’m talking about two pages of backstory before finally getting to the fucking point!

Don’t get me wrong, a proper introduction is important to me personally, but maybe my problem is the fact that I prefer to receive a character’s backstory over time, bit by bit. Otherwise it gets a bit too distracting for me, especially when Gage stops narrating to crank out a few pages of his damn autobiography before returning to the actual events at hand.

Also, unfortunately for this book, the comparisons to Indiana Jones don’t imply anything good here. It simply reads like an extremely predictable adventure story that desperately tries and fails to be engaging and fun while treating really old orientalist tropes like a checklist (mysterious Egypt, hot slave girls…). Even the cliffhanger ending is predictable as shit.

Moreover, there is almost no suspense. Gage either conveniently shoots his target or gets conveniently rescued all the time. In short, he always wins, which is not what should happen in a good story because most people get bored with heroes who always win.

Last but not least, too many coincidences and everyone being connected to the point where my suspension of disbelief just went right out the window.

At one point Ethan Gage randomly encounters Sidney Smith, for example. Also he gets rescued by Nelson after a naval battle. And in a later chapter it turns out that the Romani with whom Gage had to hide at one point were the ones who alerted Gage’s future allies in Egypt about his arrival. Very fucking believable.

At this point, this book may as well be a soap opera where all the heroes are somehow connected!

Speaking of heroes…

4. The Characters

I don’t like Ethan Gage. He’s basically a knockoff Indiana Jones crossbred with a Mary Sue. Perfect sharpshooter, womanizer, spy, adventurer, apprentice of Benjamin Franklin. He has a lot of skills and connections and not enough justification for having them.

Trust me, even the fact that he’s a Freemason wasn’t enough for me to justify the fact that he just HAPPENS to know a bunch of important people.

Other than that, he starts out as a typical lone adventurer with no family who enjoys gambling and the company of sex workers. I was half expecting him to go full James Bond and be an alcoholic too, but luckily it wasn’t that cliché.

The Macedonian slave mentioned in the summary, Astiza, is a slightly more interesting character, even though she’s not free from clichés. Starting out as a beautiful mysterious slave girl, she is revealed to know more than she lets on and has a knack for practicing magic. Also she is later revealed to have known the villain of the book… Welcome to Santa Barbara, folks!

As for the villain, Count Alessandro Silano is presented as this master manipulator and a looming threat who wants to harness whatever secrets the ancient secrets and/or powers this medallion can potentially provide. In reality, however, he’s more of a hammy movie villain who likes to monologue, has no positive traits whatsoever has the same ability to survive the impossible as Gage does. Or maybe they both can just respawn, I dunno.

Unfortunately, “cliché” and “flat” are the best adjectives to describe most original characters in the story. Gage’s friend, Antoine Talma, is your typical intrepid reporter but at least he’s more relatable than Gage; Ashraf, a Mameluke Gage captures, is just a loyal servant who is there to conveniently swoop in and rescue Gage Deus ex machina style, etc.

It’s basically modern clichés served under the “sauce” of the Frev setting.

By the way, Napoleon is there as well and he gives me the same vibes as the Nazi villains in the first Indiana Jones movie. He only cares about people who are useful to him, doesn’t give a shit about his troops and also wants to harness the abilities that medallion potentially can provide so he can use those powers to CONQUER THE WORLD!

Most other historical figures only have minor roles, but I’m glad we got cameos of people like Kléber, Vivant Denon and other military men and scientists who were actually part of that campaign.

5. The Setting

Unfortunately, even the descriptions of settings leave a lot to be desired. They’re just blander than stale bread and I’m not even sure how accurate they are. Probably inaccurate as fuck though, if I’m being honest…

Paris is this city of vices like brothels and gambling houses and this setting is hyperbolic like we’re in a noir detective story.

Egypt is a treasure trove of orientalist clichés - a land of mysteries, cruel people, beautiful women and wise scholars who may or may not dabble in magic. That being said, I liked the fact that the book took a sledgehammer to clichés about harems.

6. The Writing

Ooh boy, I have some complaints here too. Aside from the distractingly long backstory tidbits I already ranted about, that is.

For example, basic French grammar and spelling have clearly left the chat because there are characters whose last names are spelled d’Liberté and d’Bonneville (de is only turned into d’ before vowels or the letter “h”) and at one point there’s a hotel called Le Cocq instead of Coq (rooster). The book was written in 2007 so it’s not like the author couldn’t look up the words and basic grammar that I learned in fifth grade!

These may seem like tiny mistakes, but if the author didn’t bother to look up the basics, then this makes me concerned about other mistakes in the novel that I probably missed. So yeah, take everything in this with a grain (or a barrel) of salt.

Last but not least, this:

This is where General Dumas and General Desaix make a cameo. Now, it seems fine… except there’s no prior mention of them being present in this scene at all before they speak their lines so… did these two just randomly poof into existence or something?

Also, these two suffer from Delayed Introduction Syndrome ™️, which means we don’t find out who the fuck these men are until a few chapters later and we don’t get any descriptions of them before that either.

Why is this an issue? Well, other minor characters in the book do get a proper introduction and a brief description IMMEDIATELY or SHORTLY after being mentioned, so there is an inconsistency here, especially since some minor characters get TOO MUCH time dedicated to their descriptions despite the fact that they are not part of the main cast (d’Liberté in particular gets too much attention).

Also, some descriptions in the book are unintentionally funny, like a part where Gage compares a woman’s nipples poking out of her cleavage to soldiers sticking heads out of a trench. Yes, this is the real comparison in the book and it fucking cracked me up.

One thing I appreciate, however, is the fact that the narrative doesn’t shy away from describing gruesome injuries like traumatic amputations and sometimes the author does have the balls to permanently kill off an important character (said characters has a really gruesome death btw). I don’t mind blood and gore like this, but trigger warning just in case you’re more squeamish than me.

7. The Conclusion

All in all, instead of being a cool swashbuckling adventure, “Napoleon’s Pyramids” comes off as an Indiana Jones ripoff with clichés stacked onto one another like Jenga blocks, a cast of bland characters, mistakes that could be easily corrected by a few Internet searches and inconsistent writing.

Do I recommend it? ABSOLUTELY NOT. Please don’t waste your time on this novel.

Okay, with that said, it’s time to conclude today’s meeting of the Jacobin Fiction Convention.

Please stay tuned for updates on future reviews and stay safe.

Love,

Citizen Green Pixel

#history #frev #french revolution #frev art #jacobin fiction convention #literature review #frev media #frev literature #obscure frev media #napoleon’s pyramids #ethan gage #louis charles antoine desaix #general dumas #napoleon bonaparte #horatio nelson #sidney smith #vivant denon #jean baptiste kleber

[findingtheperfectcharacter]

The third most awful rap battle in all of paradox space 👀 I’m a sucker for silly/long winded titled stuff.

BOTH OF THE ASKS I GOT ENDED UP BEING ABOUT THIS ONE AND I’M DJDJDJDJDHD

Smaller info tidbits <3

-While Technically Tavros could look like anything in Dream Bubbles, he tends to go for his wheelchair because he honestly has a better sense of motor control using it than either his robot legs or his old ones (Vriska described the accident as happening sweeps ago at least once, and since a sweep is ~two years and Tavros is 13, it’s likely he’s been using his wheelchair since he was the human equivalent of 7-9. It just makes sense in my head Idk.)

-50/50 on Gamzee being here because I fucking love the few seconds of dynamic they had and he’s the ultimate hypegirl and I have VERY mixed feelings on them… But those mixed feelings are also the ‘why’ because I feel like he has 10 different characterizations in canon and it’s WEIRD to think about how they meld? I might just stick with my earliest reads of it combined with Vibes? Because they also rn serve the story purpose of ‘give Tavros a second person to talk to who he’s close to since he barely interacts with Aradia so it’d feel… Weird-)

-Shout out to ‘wHat, pfft, I don’t hate Dave. i Like being around him! hE’s way too smug though, even when i know i’ve got him cornered he still acts like he won somehow. iT makes me want to write something so impressive he won’t be able to hide anything from me, something that’ll tear him to bits- make him know that i SEE him and he can hide all he wants but i’ll get him and tear his mask off-

… oH.’ Or something on that level. See also: ‘he’d probably get better at this faster if he didn’t insist on basing all of his beats on whatever he’s thinking about at the moment.’

(Undecided because so far the fic’s entirely from Tavros’ perspective so this is just… Me mentally peeking. Pretty much as I’m writing this) ‘Yes, I’m sure he’s deeply incompetent. That’s why Yesturday you were as calm and still as a glass of water while talking to me.’

‘damn right I was, Dave, king of the chill. Like fucking ice water really, so still, so gentle.’

‘Sounds like the worst way to spend a night.’

‘no no, I’m gentle, but firm and stiff. Like an oak in the breeze.’

‘I would have thought a rock comparison would be more apt.’

‘well you would have thought wrong.’

‘… If he gets you this easily. Why not just leave? It’s not like you have no one else to talk to.’

Dave thought about the way he felt when they fought, the way his heart pounded and the rush throughout his soul. The way he’d lose balance occasionally, the thrill he’d get when he managed to get a genuine emotional hit on Tavros- especially considering he’d made a goal not to use cheap shit in his attacks… Even though he tried to never give him the satisfaction of knowing he lost… They both knew when he did and it only made him want to get better, to prove he could do better. And when he won…

He wanted to see him again anyway.

‘no one around here’s worth talking to and you know it. He’s annoying but it’s better than being boring.’

…

Whoops I think I wrote an actual passage while trying to peek- WELP- granted it’s too blunt to be in the fic proper.

[riddles-n-games]

The Art of War-V1

    I opened the text and the picture attached, and all of the blood drained from my face. In this photo, Emily Laughlin wasn’t laughing. She was smiling at the camera—a wicked little smile, like she was on the verge of a wink. Her makeup was natural, but her eyes looked unnaturally large, and her hair…

    Was exactly like mine.

    “What did you do?” I asked Thea again, more accusation this time than question. She’d invited herself along on my shopping trip. She was the one who’d suggested I wear green—just like Emily wore in this photo.

    Even my necklace was eerily like hers.

    I’d assumed, when the stylist had asked if I wanted to look like the picture, that Alisa was the one who’d supplied it. I’d assumed it was a photo of a model. Not a dead girl.

    “Why would you do this?” I asked Thea, amending my question.

    “It’s what Emily would have wanted.” Thea pulled a tube of lipstick out of her purse. “If it’s any consolation,” she said, once she was finished turning her lips a sparkling ruby red, “I didn’t do this to you.”

    She’d done it to them.

    “The Hawthornes didn’t kill Emily,” I spat. “Rebecca said that it was her heart.”

    Technically, she’d said that Grayson had said it was her heart.

    “How sure are you that the Hawthorne family isn’t trying to kill you?” Thea smiled. She had been there this morning. She’d been shaken. And now she was acting like this was all a joke. That seemed to be common with the Hawthornes and those involved with them, among other things. It was either avoidance and letting it build up inside till it transformed to anger, constantly keeping quiet about it, being tricky, sarcastic, and ironic with a taste for vengeance, or twisting words and turning everything into a game. I was seeing the pattern but frankly, I’d seen plenty and I had enough of it, too. My own mother had died and I mourned, grieved, went through the whole five stages of depression but even I didn’t pull shit like this. Even if I had been living as a rich kid at the time, I feel like even then, I wouldn’t act that way, that I would be more pulled together and have my behavior intact. 

    “Emily, it’s always Emily with you idiots. What is actually wrong with you? Why do you feel the need to do what Emily would have wanted, huh?” I asked mockingly. I started to move toward her, leaning forward as I forced her back and boy, was it satisfying to see the look of shock on her face. “Are you possessed by her, you want me to get you an exorcist? Because I’ll gladly do so and have them awaiting you in your room the moment that you come back from the gala. I’ll make sure they stay with you until her spirit is exorcized out of you, no matter how long that ritual is, be that an hour, a day, or a whole damn year. Even multiple rituals if needed so that you can finally get your flipping life together and get your shit straight.” I paused for a moment but stalked after her as she moved back to the wall, one sharp click of the heels after another. Her lipstick dropped onto the counter and rolled onto the floor but I didn’t avoid the open tube, instead I walked right over it, mushing it under the ball of my foot. I didn’t care in that moment that it would stain the bottom of my shoe or leave a smear on the marble squares, that was a problem for later. Right then, I was trying to prove a point. My eyes were narrowed and each word that came out of my mouth felt like it was dripping with spite. “Or I can completely kick you out of the house, get a restraining order against you, and call security on you if I ever get news that you’re trespassing on the property.”

  She actually trembled and her pupils were blown wide but I wasn’t going to let her breathe, to catch a single breath. That devious, I-won-this-match, Cheshire cat smile from before was nowhere to be seen; it was long gone. It was a sight to behold, Thea Calligaris looking, even for a second, anything close to resembling defeat. I stopped short of her and exhaled long, feeling like I had just fumed smoke into the air from my ears. Then, recomposing myself, I gave her a fake smile, making it as menacing as possible as my hands clasped together. “So, what’s it going to be, Thea?” My voice dropped low, trying to sound deadly and going in for the kill but I made sure to finish off in an overly sweet tone. This time, I knew I had her; there wasn’t going to be any more crossing me, at least for the rest of the night. I was tired of being used and messed with. Maybe Alisa wanted me to be seen by the media and the rest of the world over as a sweet, vulnerable, ordinary girl but no one said that when the cameras weren’t rolling and there was no audience, that I couldn’t show my claws and draw blood of my own. And that time was now.

    Thea lifted her chin, still clearly trying to stay defiant as if being anything else would be below her standard. “You haven’t answered me yet. So…What’s. It. Gonna. Be?” I repeated. “I don’t care that people are gonna be looking for us soon, I can wait here all night. I’m not sure if anyone’s told you yet but if you continue this, people will end up looking back, remembering you as just the girl who peaked in high school with a streak for revenge with the schizophrenic voices in her head. I’ve played the game of cat and mouse before and won. You seem to have never experienced what it’s like to lose so I’m courteously teaching you that lesson now. Take it down a notch and we’re cool, otherwise, beat it. I’m not your cat toy, you twisted psychopath. And leave the boys alone, too. They’ve done nothing to you and most definitely not to Emily. It’s quite plainly put, pathetic what you’re doing. Are you five because if not, as I’m sure you aren’t, have much better things to do like growing a pair. Get over yourself.”

    The din of silence was heavy in the bathroom and the only thing I could hear was the sound of my heavy breathing slowing down. I waited a minute and when I realized that I wasn’t going to get an answer, I decided to turn back to the mirror. My fingers tucked loose wisps behind my ear and I straightened my dress before walking to the door. Just as I was about to reach for the handle, I heard her murmur something but couldn’t quite make out what. 

    I only turned my head slightly in her direction. “What was that?”

    “They’ll ruin you,” she rasped. Her voice sounded dry and stuck somewhere deep in her throat. 

    “I’ll be the judge of that.”

    “You’ll end up just like her. They will break you, too, like everything else they touch; they always do. You won’t last the whole year there.”

    “We’ll see about that, Thea, we’ll see. I’ll bet you my entire inheritance on it.” As my hand grasped the handle, I let myself look at her one final time in her broken state, leaning against the wall, words on the tip of my tongue but decided against it. My mouth shut and I faced the door again, twisting the knob and pushing it open. I had a gala to attend. Tonight was my night, after all. But one thought lingered that made me smile in satisfaction. Who was the broken one now?

#the inheritance games #avery kylie grambs #thea calligaris #a very risky gamble #heiress #mad avery on fire #tig

[superbattrash]

First thought: oh A DIANA PERSON

second thought: that is… a lot of blood

Homelander, okay, there he is. Nice but creepy smile, that’s always a good sign

A couple bickering, okay, alright. OH MY GOD OH MY G O D ???? Oh my GOD????? WHAT THE ACTUAL FUCK???? Am?? I just supposed to forget that??? And move onto hot strong chick? Ok then

Oh sweetie, either you really are naive or you’re a good actress because wow

Stop talking, dude. His girlfriend just got violently killed- OH MY GOD AND THEY’RE LYING ABOUT IT? Motherf….. oh my god oh my god they want him to shut up about it? w o w

She got it!!! She got it!!!! She got… what??

Oh he’s- he is not supportive, no, of course, he isn’t. So he’s got no spine and dad’s just like him, great, oh man, I smell a “this is my villain origin story” except they don’t really seem like the good guys here

Ok ok back to starlight, yea, forget my emotional whiplash. Oh wait, I know this actress?? She was in CSI, wasn’t she?

They’re gonna ruin this girl, I just know it

Oh, hi, you’re hot, aren’t you, sir? Who the fuck is lamp- oh ok, she’s replacing him, makes sense

This is gonna go wrong, this is gonna go so wrong, I just know it. Don’t take your grief out on random people, bro, don’t do it, that is a horrible anxiety attack oh no

THAT. THAT IS HIS NAKED ASS. OH MY GOD, HE WANTS HER TO???? Good lord, thank you Broose for the warning, also I take back what I said. He is NOT HOT.

Jimmy is in this?? What even is this show

Butcher????? That is SOME NAME, bro. Nice beard though. B-Billy Butcher? Oh my god. Spank the bast- oh lord. What can you even do bro? Do you have powers as well?? Or do you just go around offering people vengeance?

Go, Hughie, G O. After him.

‘arry! Omg the accent. Oh yeah, he’s totally not actually a fed, that liar

Oh great, post forced bj vomiting, always lovely to THAT IS A NAKED PENIS OH MY GO D

“Man’s a saint” I’m sorry but something’s not right about that. He’s too perfect

Why would they pick someone as pathetic as this kid?? He’s right, he’s gonna fuck it up

Oh, she’s out here renting out heroes, great great. “What’s Compound V?” Same thought here, lady. He’s gonna get murdered. I’m calling it.

Great, she can’t tell her mom, that’s just- great. Why is he sitting right next to her and eating?? Oh no, are they gonna work together and do something stupid? Are these the main characters? What is happening

His face saying “smack” is my face whenever I say anything to anyone. Aw ok, he’s not as pathetic when he gets to talk about Robin, that’s nice

Oh man you just gave a pep talk to a supes. Oops, that probably wasn’t what you meant to do

Oh. Oh he is good. He is really good, damn, I kind of like him? 👀

BUTCHER WHAT THE FUCK

Holy SH I T, did he just- did he just live up to the- oh no of course he didn’t, he had to drop it. For one second I thought “good for you”. Ok now please w- OH SHIT THE NAKED GUY

Oh no, are they gonna just- are they just gonna leave him alone??? Oh lord. He called him “son”, damn, he’s done being useful, huh

He did not just tear up- JESUS CHRIST

Oh ok is it now that she’s gonna make sure he’s killed? She wouldn’t let him off the hook, would she?

NAKED GUY OH NO, that’s gotta be him. Translucent, ok, whatever, OH GOD NO THEY’RE GONNA KILL HIM oh thank GOD BUTCHER WHERE THE FUCK WERE YOU

How- how are you gonna fight an invisible man, Butch?? Oh. Ok. Like that.

Hot.

Oh my god they’re frying his actual ass, what the fuck iS THIS SHOW

“Technically I’m not a fed” technically, my ass

Oh yay, murder on a plane, of course. They’re sending Homelander, ain’t they? Show me I’m right about this guy

I KNEW IT

Oh lord, that was very…. dark Superman of you

Ok so… In conclusion: wow and omg????

#6 minutes in and I am TRAUMATIZED #misha watches the boys

[doc-hudson]

Skift

Alternative title: In this house we love and respect Mochi

Dated: 19 November, 2022

Hiro Hamada

Hiro had never seen anything like it. Well, in pictures, sure, but he had seen lots of things in pictures and those didn't feel real. Not the way the winter wind did and the tiny flutter of almost-sensation, feathery bits of cold catching at his eyelashes and melting against his nose.

The town was white and shimmery and, yeah, magical. It never got that cold back home, it never snowed.

Hiro had never known what the big deal was about all those holiday songs about the stuff.

He reached out tentatively to touch the outstretched branches of a tree, all glittery with ice and delicate little leaves frosted over, almost hesitant he might break them. A bit wide-eyed, he was amazed; it was something so simple but to him, it was practically ethereal.

Mochi, tucked up into the hood of his jacket, had far less reservations and squirmed free to take a proper swat at it, then a jump up to the branch itself, sending a full shower of glittery white down as he bounced around the limbs.

"Hey!" Hiro protested, although it came out more of a laugh, until he realized he wasn't the only one caught in Mochi's onslaught. "Oh, oh god, sorry!" He was apologetic, sure, but he had to cover his hands with both gloved hands to stifle the laughter.

-

Doc Hudson

Trying to run away from the Farmlands to try and get some peace and quiet had started like a good idea.

But then it’d started snowing and Doc could almost swear than someone, somewhere, was having a lot of fun at his expense -as if making him miserable by rubbing his past against his face wasn’t bad enough...now it’d started snowing, and that meant he’d be in a world of pain in no time.

And right when he’d wanted to make something good of it all by trying and stop a cat from getting stuck in a snowed-in tree… down came the snow and the realization that the cat hadn’t really been in any potential danger and was, instead, just in a playful mood.

And maybe it was even amused by his suffering.

“Great. Just what I needed” he muttered, covered in snow and trying his damn best to not shout at who seemed to be the cat’s owner.

Oh, this Town was testing him.

-

Hiro Hamada

Mochi looked rather pleased with himself, stamping his small paws a few more times before he jumped down, bobtail wiggling as he landed in the strange man's arms, that subtle little whirling click that started the low rumble of a purr sounding as he kneaded at the man's chest.

Mochi, at least, was enjoying himself.

"Mochi, you little monster," Hiro bit back his laughter long enough to chase his (technically cat-shaped) pet down. "Sorry, he's a pain sometimes."

Hiro was braced because, yeah, older people? Like really older people, not just people who were older than himself? They weren't always pleasant; he'd learned that plenty of times late hours working on his bots and the neighbors across the alleyway yelling at him to go to sleep and stop making so much noise.

His odds didn't look so great then either with that less than thrilled expression he was greeted by.

Apparently not everyone liked snow.

-

Doc Hudson

Would Paul yell at an innocent kid just because he was in the wrong place, at the wrong time?

Well, that would depend on his current mood and what the kid had done.

Being the cause for him being covered in snow, for example, was fair game -sure, that’d do nothing for his ‘grumpy old man’ image, but he felt pretty justified- -buuut then the cat, the real mastermind behind it all, had jumped into his arms, vibrated in an unfamiliar way that Paul vaguely recognized (in theory) as a pur and, well, he started reevaluating.

That didn’t mean he wasn’t pissed, just that he could wait a moment before he did anything about it.

“So I’ve noticed” he said, trying to keep a straight face “you might want to consider buyin’ the lil buddy a leash, kid”

-

Hiro Hamada

"I'd never hear the end of it." Which was not untrue, he would have to turn off Mochi's communication module for a good week until he got over the indignity of it.

And that just wasn't worth it.

He was debating prying the cat off the guy but, yeah, awkward, so he waited until Mochi was done bothering the old guy and jumped down, which, yes, was a mistake because the snow had piled higher and the little calico practically disappeared up to his little ears in it, huffing.

Hiro grinned, reaching down to dig the surprised cat from the drift. "Serves you right, now we're both soaked." Once he had both arms full of flopping, dramatic cyber-feline, he looked back at the man.

Then almost started laughing again before he could force some composure; old guy looked like the picture of ridiculous and a bit frosty, yeah. "Okay, you probably got it worse."

-

Doc Hudson

“You’d rather have old men chidin’ you, then?” granted, both options were pretty bad, but the leash seemed like the lesser evil.

The cat didn’t seem to love the idea, however, and would rather jump into the snow (something that could have been prevented if he’d been on a leash) to try and make their escape.

Foof went the snow pile as the cat almost dissapeared from sight, then emerged, indignant.

That almost made Paul laugh. Almost.

“You both need to be more careful” he said, trying his best to avoid smiling, funny as the situation was “’nd maybe bundle up even more”

Said the man that wasn’t even wearing anything remotely snow-appropiate.

“Wouldn’t want to get sick, would you?”

-

Hiro Hamada

"Well, I am more used to that." He mused as Mochi did a full body shimmy and climbed back to his shoulders to duck into the hood of his jacket and hide there, peering out at the man, quite offended by the entire idea of a leash, yes. Absolutely displeased with that. But he forgot a few seconds later when he noticed the falling snow again and started swatting at it.

"I wasn't expecting it to be this cold," he groaned, "I didn't know this cold was a thing! England is vindictive!" Hiro paused, just as suddenly distracted by the snow as Mochi, cupping his hands to let it gather in his palms. "But it is pretty though," he smiled, and listen; he hated being called a kid unless he was using it to his advantage at the time to get what he wanted.

Because he was short, because he was usually younger than everyone he was intellectually comparable to, because he still hadn't, stupid genetics, grown out of being a perpetually awkward teenager-shaped person. Lots of reasons!

But he wasn't going to win that argument right then staring at the snow like it was some big, magical holiday TV special and he was right in the middle of it.

"Hey, worth it," he pointed out; because how often did snow even happen anyway? Well, all winter probably, but right then it was still pretty new and exciting. "You don't like the snow?"

-

Doc Hudson

Huh.

Well, wasn’t this kid interesting?

“Neither was I” he admited, hand rubbing his opporite arm in order to keep some vague illusion of warmth (not everyone could do as the cat and hide away in other’s clothes, after all. Some of them had to keep moving, bundle up or seek a more appropiate spot to try and get warm) “Took me by surprise, honestly, this mornin’ seemed pretty sunny and yet…”

Now that the thought of it, the kid didn’t have an accent.

“Not from around here, are you, sport?” Doc asked as he eyed the kid, trying to find anything that might reveal even a bit about the kid’s original whereabouts “We oughtta be more mindful ‘bout British weather, I guess”

And with that, he was admitting his status as a fellow outsider, as if the accent wasn’t enough.

“No, I don’t. ‘s a pain in the-” a pause, consideration of the kid’s poor ears “-everythin’. You guys, on the other hand, seem to love it. Where you from, fellas?”

Some snowless place, surely

-

Hiro Hamada

Oh, right, guy was older, like the whole...stay inside by the fire, do the stare at the weather channel, cold was bad sort of older, right? But he wasn't going to say that.

Sport? Seriously, this guy was right out of some movie with the grandpa vibes, huh?

Well, Hiro assumed, he'd never actually known his grandparents.

But there was the vibe, right?

"Nah, not even close." And he always found it a little funny when people started looking at him like he wasn't just some nondescript guy, forgettable; honestly it was a plus in his situation.

Well, in winter anyway; he was decidedly less nondescript in warmer weather and less bundled up.

"You should probably go inside and not, uh, freeze." He wasn't trying to make fun of him, actually, he just knew from personal experience that aching spots were not fun. "California, just not the part where you see much snow." Hiro studied the growing pile of glittery crystals in his palms, then let them fall away with a shake of his hands.

Right, he was getting distracted, again, by something unimportant, right?

He missed being distracted by things like that, even if he hated to admit it.

-

Doc Hudson

‘You should probably go inside and not, uh, freeze’

At that, Paul shot the kid a glare. Sure, he might be older, and complaining about the weather and being tortured by it, but that didn’t give the kid any rights to say that, correct as he might be.

Hearing he was from California added insult to injury, even if that gave him valuable extra-information about him (and the cat) -yeah, the kid from Cali had a mouth, that made sense.

“Was plannin’ to, then some guy and his cat dropped snow on me” he joked, even if his voice leaned more into the bitter side of the scale instead of the playful one “I plan to do so, shortly, anyways”

He could spare a few more minutes, though.

“ ‘s your first snow, I take it. Just a friendly tip, pal: be mindful, the cold can be pretty treacherous. As soon as your insticts tell you ‘s time to get some rest and warm up, you rest and warm up, got it? ‘s easy to get cocky”

And cocky gets you in trouble, that he knew pretty well.

“What’s your name?”

-

Hiro Hamada

Well it wasn't his fault the guy was obviously not happy in the snow! He was just pointing out the obvious.

"I wasn't planning on snow, or Mochi deciding to lose his mind." Hiro pointed out in return, but he did wonder if the man actually minded or if it was the stubborn air of not liking anything that older people seemed to take as their personal right.

Which, yeah, okay, getting older probably sucked so people likely had reasons.

"It can't be that bad," Hiro made a point of protesting, and proving the point by actually moving. He didn't even slip! Although, he did notice his leg wasn't as responsive, he hadn't accounted for snow, just cold; he was...going to have to adjust some things.

But that was a problem for later.

Mochi wiggled his way around to the front of his jacket and popped up to join the conversation with a mewl of his own, paws hanging over the opening at the front of said jacket and chin resting on them.

"So where are you from then? You said we before, about the weather." Hiro had an annoyingly precise capacity to recall details, yes.

He was tempted to point out the 'don't tell your name to strangers' thing but, yeah, no, this guy wasn't going to buy the cute kid act so no point.

"Hiro," he offered instead, dusting his gloves off on his jacket. "Okay, but you're supposed to have fun in the snow, right? I mean...look at it out here!" It was perfect, absolutely perfect; just like a Christmas card!

-

Doc Hudson

“Nobody was, I think” nobody could control the weather, after all.

...right?

(Well, this being Swynlake chances were that there was someone that could somewhat control the weather, but that wasn’t the point -and he doubted that this hypotetical person could be as petty as he had initially imagined. Maybe they were just having fun using their abilities or...whatever).

Anyways…

“It ‘s pretty bad” Paul admited with a huff as he crossed his arms, trying to keep his chest warm “you’d understand if you had a collection of broken bones”

He, of course, assumed the kid didn’t -he was waaay too young to be remotely familiar with that kind of pain.

“it makes mucles ache” he continued, moving a hand toward’s the cat, trying to boop his nose now that it seemed calmer and that he was certain it wouldn’t just jump into his arms “and bones feel sore. ‘s a silent but blunt kinda pain, one that creeps on you”

He paused, then shook his head.

“That’s why you need to be careful, don’t want to end up like that” Doc almost whispered before returning to his usual voice tone and the topic at hand “Arizona. We get snow every now and then, but at least there I know what to expect and when to expect it”

At least then he could easily find refuge and wait it out.

“Hiro, then. I’m Doc -and, again, you need to be more careful, for your own sake”

-

Hiro Hamada

He could feel his phone buzzing in his pocket with a dozen texts, Mochi chattering away at him. There were reasons he hadn't given his communication modifications an upgrade to include vocalization; small cat with a lot to say about everything.

And he could guess at what it was right then.

Assumptions were often wrong, but Hiro didn't correct them; that's where it got awkward and people got that uncomfortable look that he didn't ever get used to seeing.

Mochi smashed his head against the offered hand, the little click and purr sounding again and Hiro could feel the reverberation of it against his chest even with layers of fabric and synthetic fur in the space between himself and the cat.

"You don't end up like that just falling in the snow," Hiro speculated, curiosity flickering on in the back of his brain and creeping along all those little neuro pathways.

It didn't sound like the normal sort of cautionary tale, did it? And it sounded...heavy, like a weight, like something that was almost familiar.

"Arizona; that's like...horses and ranches?" Now, Hiro hadn't ever actually been anywhere outside of San Fransokyo his entire life so it was all purely speculation. Which, yes, for as smart as he was he was a bit less so without a screen in front of him to engage with.

"So people don't have any fun in Arizona?"

-

Doc Hudson

“...well, aren’t you a sweetheart?” Paul asked, still trying his hardest not to smile and, as such, let the cat that had caused this whole incident get away with it “but don’t you think for a second I’ll forget about your devilry, lil’ fella. No amount of kissies will buy my forgiveness”

But maybe a couple of them would sweeten the deal. A couple of purrs and the little extra heat might do the trick.

But he wasn’t about to admit to that, no.

“Haven’t seen old movies before, son?” he continued, now focusing his atenttion on the kid “The ones were kids fall into lakes or freeze to death or get terribly sick just ‘cause they thought they were tougher than the weather? There’s some truth to those things”

No, he wasn’t about to use the “trust me, I’m a Doctor” card just yet.

“That’d depend on which part of Arizona you’re in” he shrugged “Horses, ranches, cities, hell lotta rocks. Would probably bore you outta your mind -what brings you guys all the way here, anyways? Cali has a better weather this time of year”

-

Hiro Hamada

Mochi knew how to play it up, oh yes, to be cute and charming and just endearing. It was a useful code to have, it was also a useful skill to have; Hiro had figured that out years ago back home being places a kid shouldn't have been.

But kids did have an advantage; everyone was a little hesitant to blame them. It was a lot easier to get away with things.

Or it had been, Swynlake was just a small town; Hiro didn't have nearly as much to entertain himself with anymore.

But he had snow, and, well, yeah, he was going to enjoy that.

"He likes you," he felt Mochi flick an ear in confirmation, so the cat wasn't just playing it up.

"Well, yeah, but old movies are also filled with a ton of inaccuracies," Hiro mused, brain quickly jumping on the topic. "And we've got better medical ways to deal with that now, and magic. I...guess? Maybe in the forest? It's more dangerous."

He considered that for a moment, and then he wanted to see what the forest looked like right then. "I bet it looks amazing though, right Mochi?"

If there was any invitation to trouble, Hiro was bound to find it.

Mochi seemed a little hesitant on that one, murring and reaching paws out to Doc's hands, because this idea was his fault, he had to fix it, yes. Mochi did not want to get lost in the woods and eaten by a snow monster!

Hiro's phone went through another round of intense buzzing.

"Family problems," Hiro shrugged, it wasn't the full truth, but he couldn't really be honest anyway. And most of his family being gone was a problem, one he hadn't meant to cause, so it was... marginally true. "But most places are boring compared to home. The people here... aren't though." Some...a little more interesting than others but he still wasn't sure what to make of...feelings and those complicated things.

His brain didn't process that so well, no.

-

Doc Hudson

Doc raised both eyebrows, now legitimately amused.

Now, the cat thing? He had no problem accepting that, he could accept the possibility of the tiny scamp somehow taking a liking to him or at least pretending to in order to get into his good graces and save some face-

-but someone calling California second to best in anything? That was something he thought he’d never hear. Wasn’t it supposed to be a place many dreamed of, traffic, ridiculous prices and ocassional water shortages be damned?

Hell, he could almost feel a certain insufferable someone positively seething at the idea of California being described as ‘not all that’, even in the tiniest of aspects, even if only about it’s people.

This kid was amusing, so much so that he could ignore his smartassery about movies not being completely realistic, hell, Doc might even grow fond of him, eventually.

“I see. Sorry ‘bout that” he muttered, figuring there wasn’t much else he could say about that, then looking at the cat’s wide eyes and his apparent wish to seek some shelter.

Ugh.

Ugh, this kids…

“Let’s go get somethin’ you guys warm to drink” he said, head pointing in what he believed to be the general direction of Hatter’s “my treat. We’ve been under the snow for way too long and I’m not riskin’ you gettin’ sick just ‘cause I decided to start babblin'”

-

Hiro Hamada

San Fransokyo was, in Hiro's view, basically the epicenter of basically everything progressive. Now, the guy he had met at the fundraiser had been pretty set on a different area of Calli was the end all for sports? Which, Hiro had little interest in sports so honestly, he wasn't sure of the validity of that one, hadn't looked much into it, yet.

But it was perspective, really; wasn't it? He didn't expect anywhere to come close to home in regards to tech, but there were probably places that were just as impressive in other ways.

Like magic.

"Hey!" He shot Mochi a look, knowing he was conspiring against him. "Seriously? That's practically mutiny." He poked Mochi on his furry little head and rolled his eyes. "Fine, I'll leave you home when I go out later, scaredy-cat."

It was fine, he preferred to be out at night alone anyway, and the snow probably looked even better at night.

"Well, since I've been overruled and ganged up against anyway," Hiro made a vague motion, "but...you gotta lead, town still sends me in circles."

Which, yes, he had a way around it, but he wasn't going to drag Doc around on the roofs; that probably was just asking for the guy to break his neck and Hiro didn't want that.

-

Doc Hudson

Huh, the kid seemed to understand his cat pretty well -had Paul not known better, he’d probably felt excluded from a conversation he wasn't even sure that existed.

But surely that was just his imagination and merely the fabled connection between a boy and his pet that movies liked to go on and on about.

“Go easy on the little guy, he just wants to warm up and maybe take a nap” Doc said, still pretty amused “I can relate”

Specially in that weather.

“Well, let’s hope Town’s in a good mood, ‘cause she likes takin’ me in circles too” he chuckled as he took a few steps back, then looked around “but maybe she’ll be kind to us this time”

They’d already entertained her, he figured, and really could use a nice stay at Hatter’s in return.

And maybe the ki- Hiro would find a way to further surprise him.

#A story for another rainy day #c: Hiro

[scarlettriot]

Along for the Ride PT 1

Pairing: KirishimaxF!Reader

Summary: A drunken mistake had you marking the little Plus One box to your snobby cousin's wedding. Kirishima told you not to worry, if you couldn't find a date, he'd go with you. When the wedding gets moved up, there's absolutely no time to find a date and you're now about to be traveling to America with Kirishima on a private jet no less, dreading having him meet your rude and impossibly arrogant family.

Contains: Kirishima and Reader both come from very well-off families. Plus-Sized Reader. Fluff. Hurt/Comfort.

Warnings: Kinda smutty for a minute. Minors DNI. Drunken Sex. TW: Manipulative Family Relationships. TW: Body Image Issues

A/N: This story has been rolling around in my head for a while now. I might rewrite this and repost. Or I might just post the whole thing soon. I dunno yet. It does get smuttier.

Word Count: 4,974

"What's up with Y/N?"

Eijiro stepped out of the locker room with a towel slung over his shoulder and made his way into the kitchenette where Mina was chugging a bottle of water before getting back to her patrol. His eyes were trained on their mutual friend out on the patio, pacing.

You had your phone pressed to your ear, the high neck of your hero costume unzipped to your collarbone and he noticed your gloves discarded on a chair.

"No clue." Mina shrugged. "She got back from patrol and she noticed a bunch of missed calls from her mom. She's been out there, flailing on the phone for the last fifteen minutes now."

The three of you had met in your second year at UA when you transferred into their class and were quickly accepted by their little squad of friends. You were a bit quiet at first but quickly found comfort in the group. Eijiro had grown especially close to you when you both interned with Fat Gum.

Late nights traveling on the train back to school, a few close calls while helping patrol, and days spent playing cards while you both healed up in the hospital left plenty of time for Eijiro to get to know you better than most. It was how he knew you had a pretty bad relationship with your family, why you hated returning home for the holidays almost as much as you hated any and all forms of tomatoes.

He considered going out there just to see if there was anything he could do but before he had the chance, you were sliding the glass door open. "Oh, good, you're back." He offered you a bottle of water for your throat that he assumed was sore after that argument. "I- um- can I borrow you for a second? Alone?"

Mina snorted a laugh. "If you guys wanna bang it out on the counter you can just say so. I gotta go to work anyways."

Eijiro threw the towel at her as she left the room leaving you two alone. "What's goin' on?"

You hoisted yourself up on the countertop while he leaned against the fridge. "You remember my cousin's wedding that's happening this winter?"

He nodded. He vividly remembered the both of you getting waste a few weeks ago when you were filling out the RSVP and accidentally marking 'plus one'. Then you ran around trying to find White Out but he'd told you if you didn't find a date or have a significant other by the time of the wedding, he'd just go with you.

You argued that your family was bat shit crazy, had more money than they could spend in their lifetime and because of that, they were among some of the rudest people you knew, and you didn't want Eijiro or anyone else around that.

The thing was, Eijiro already knew that and was still okay with going. He came from money too. A lot of it. His family was just more welcoming than yours, the wealth never really going to their heads. But, he reminded you that he'd ran into enough people like those in your family that he knew how to handle them. You finally agreed to let him accompany you, leaving the plus one box checked but the name line blank.

"Well, my cousin just found out that surprise, she's pregnant! And, obviously, she can't have a wedding while seven months along so they've decided to move the wedding up to this weekend."

He nearly choked on his own spit. "This weekend? As in four days from now?"

"Yup! Saturday at 4 in the evening. Oh! No one's supposed to know she's pregnant either. So, I'm just supposed to compliment her on how flattering her dress looks, how thin she is," Your hands strangled the water bottle between them, "And I have to find something flattering to my figure because my mother has seen me in my hero outfit and she's so glad I wear a mask because if anyone knew her daughter ran around looking like I do, well, it'd ruin her!"

You massaged your temples circling back to the actual point, "Anyways, I just wanted to bitch for a sec and let you know you're off the hook since four days is just a little short notice and I told her my plus one wouldn't be able to get the time off that fast."

He pushed off the fridge. "Well, wait, hang on! I'm not letting you go in alone to deal with them! Hell no! You need backup!" You looked almost taken aback by his abruptness, "Yeah. I can work this out. Is the wedding at the same place it was supposed to be or has it moved?"

"No, it's still that fancy lodge in California. I was planning on leaving Friday morning and then coming back either Sunday night or Monday morning since my mother insists I go to their brunch the following day. But, Eijiro, I already have this weekend off..."

"Denki owes me a favor or twelve. He's supposed to be off this weekend too, I'll just see if he can cover me."

"And if he can't?"

"Then..." He pressed the back of his hand to his forehead, "Y/N, am I feeling warm to you? I think I might be starting a fever!"

You folded your arms, shaking your head, "Thought you said lying isn't manly."

"Technically, correct. But, what would be real unmanly is for me to let you deal with your family's bullshit all alone." You watched him closely, "To be honest, I'm sure we could just explain you had a family thing come up and asked me to come along for moral support. I don't really think anyone would think twice about it. Hell, you took a few days off to console me when my turtle died suddenly!"

"Eiji, you refused to eat."

"And you brought me my favorite dumplings! Same thing!"

You might have shaken your head at him but your arms opened wide. The telltale sign you wanted affection. He walked forward, consuming you in a tight hug. Your arms latched around his neck, face buried in the hollow of his throat. "You're the best."

"I just do what I can."

>>><<<

You should have canceled. Instead of Eijiro faking sick to get out of work, you should have faked it with your mother so you didn't have to go in the first place. You crumpled to the floor of your bedroom in pure frustration amidst the twenty or so outfits and dozen pairs of shoes you'd thrown out of your closet trying to find something that your mother would deem appropriate.

It wasn't your fault you had a fuller figure. You worked out, ate right, not to mention your job kept you very active, and yet your, hips, ass, and breasts were by no means subtle.

Your mother had also insisted on the dress being floor-length and modern, "Do try not wearing all black. It's a wedding, not a funeral. And, get your hair looking natural, please." And, just like that, 70% of your wardrobe was out the window!

"It's open!" You called from the floor when the doorbell rang.

"You really should lock this." Mina tutted, walking through the door with a bag full of takeout.

"I do. At night."

"Honey, it's 9 PM."

"Night like bedtime."

Mina just rolled her eyes and walked into your tiny kitchen. "I see the dress hunt is going well."

"I actually figured it out!" You got off the floor, careful not to step on a heel as you made your way to the pink haired woman, "I'm just gonna go in my birthday suit. I figured, my mother made my body technically therefore she can't disapprove of it. Because, you know, she's never done anything wrong in her life!"

Your best friend snorted out a laugh and passed you the take-out container stuffed full of stir fry. "you're a wonderful person, you know that?" You loved the fact Mina didn't even have to ask what you wanted.

"If you'd just move closer to work then you could pick it up yourself and I wouldn't have to bring it to you."

"Too expensive." You declared after a mouthful. "You pay almost twice as much as I do per month and I just don't see the point. I have damn near the same amount of space you do for half the cost!"

You adored your small one-bedroom apartment. It was perfect. Right above a bakery that you visited each morning after your run and a little balcony that provided you with the most stunning view of the sunset.

"You and Kiri, I swear." Mina just shook her head and curled up with her food on the loveseat. "I thought he'd end up with the biggest house out of us all the moment we started making that real Pro money. You've seen his parent's house. It's massive! You could get lost in that place!"

Eijiro's place was barely bigger than your own. He lived in the same condo he had since you'd graduated UA, claiming it was perfect for him in each and every way. But, you knew that he donated a sizable amount of his paycheck every month to charities, the same as you. With savings to spare, neither of you saw the point in hoarding it and therefore the small condo was all he could afford with what he actually kept.

"Just don't understand how a guy that big can live in such a tiny little space. At least with you, it's you know, physically feasible."

Eijiro's bedroom was barely large enough to fit the king-sized bed the man needed to sleep comfortably and even then, his feet were dangerously close to dangling off the bed. And, as if the man's ears were burning, your cell phone went off under a pile of discarded shoes.

Shark-E: Figured out your dress situation? If not, I'm just gonna pack like ten different ties and hope for the best.

You: Yeah! I totally did! I'm just gonna wear this birthday suit I got and call it a night.

You chuckled at your own joke all over again. Watching the grey ellipses appear and then vanish, appear and vanish again. After a third time, you took pity on the man.

You: Joking, Ei. I still don't have it figured out but Mina's over so, hopefully, she can help.

Shark-E: Gonna give me a damn heart attack! Seriously, I wouldn't put it past you just to see the look on your mom's face. Tell Mina hi and good luck to you. I vote the dress from the Hero Gala two years ago.

You: Hi from Mina. Can't. Too much boobs.

Shark-E: You take that back right now! There is NEVER such a thing as too much boobs!

You chuckled to yourself, putting your phone down, and then finished off the last of your delicious dinner, thinking about the dress Eijiro mentioned.

You wondered if maybe there was a way you could make the thing work but it was so very low cut. So much tape had been used to make sure no slips happened but damn was it worth it! The beaded bodice with the sparkling long sleeves, gods, how you loved that dress.

"I'm inclined to agree with our shark boy. You're busty, who gives a damn. You looked hot as hell in that dress."

"My mother, that's who. As much as I'd like to not give a flying fuck what she thinks, for some dumb reason, I do. On top of her telling me that the amount of cleavage I would show would be vastly inappropriate for a wedding, she'd also say the way it hugs my hips makes them look too fat."

Mina rolled her eyes. "She's such a piece of work." Pushing herself up, she held her arms out to you, wiggling little pink fingers for you to take. "Come on then. Let's get you sorted."

"What about that one you wore to the charity art thingy with Kyoka last winter? The one with the silver top."

"Silver is too close to white." You called out from within your closet.

"What! Not true!"

"You know that. I know that. Every person with two brain cells knows that, which is why most of my family does not know that."

"Fine..." She whined and started sifting through the opposite end of your closet. "Oh, what about this?" Mina waved about the blue and green plaid skirt that made up your uniform from your middle school days when you lived in America. "Please try this on. I'm begging!"

You were pretty sure it wouldn't even go over your thighs anymore.

"It's got a better chance of fitting you!"

Mina threw it at you anyway. Slipping off the sweats you wore, somehow, someway, you were able to tug it on AND get it zipped, barely. It no longer covered your ass but you still enjoyed the way it swished around when you wiggled your hips.

"You could be fulfilling so many people's fantasies right now." Mina mused.

You pulled the skirt off and sweats back on, throwing the former back at her. "Yeah, you can take it and go fulfill Hanta's fantasies if you like. Not like I've got anyone to impress." You pulled down a dress you bought on sale a year ago but Mina was quick to dismiss it.

Too puffy, she said and then held up one that was from Momo. "I needed to get it shortened and I don't have time for that now."

"Wait..." She hummed and dropped the Momo dress. "I know what it should be!"

Mina hurried through the closet, grumbling about not finding it. "Just tell me which dress and I can tell you where it's at."

"It's that one you got for grad night and then you got sick and couldn't go!"

"Mina, Mina I can't wear that! That's actual vintage, not like, made-to-look-vintage!"

"But it's so elegant and has that off-the-shoulder sleeve thing. The wedding is at a damn sky lodge! It'll look so pretty in the snow! Ah! Found it!"

She yanked up the long, elegant gown from the garment bag you'd never removed it from. There wasn't a single wrinkle in the burgundy fabric. It looked just as beautiful as the day you found it in that second-hand store, on a mannequin with gaudy stage jewels that you just had to buy so the look was complete.

You ran the back of your hand over the velvety fabric, soft to the touch. "It'll be too tight now. If I was the same size I was at graduation-"

"Bullshit!" Mina cut you off with a dismissive hand, "You've got hips now. We aren't 18 anymore! It's not like it's some clubbing dress. And I bet no one would say a damn thing about your figure if they knew how easily you could crush them with those thighs!"

A smirk tugged at the corner of your lips. Without quirks, you gave every single one of your classmates a run for their money in hand to hand. Most were fairly easy to beat. You could usually take down Eijiro in about five or six minutes and Katsuki in half the time. Funny enough, it was Ochaco that gave you the hardest time.

"I'll consider it. But help me find something else just in case."

>>><<<

It was another two hours before you finally agreed on an a-line, empire waist green and gold number that had been the bridesmaid's dresses for Tetsutetsu's wedding. Mina thought they were a crime the first time they had to wear them, she had no idea what you were thinking.

That's why the moment you were preoccupied with trying to find yet another dress for the Sunday brunch, Mina pulled out her phone.

You: DO NOT, under any circumstances, allow Y/N to wear the green dress. She's bringing two because she can't decide. Red is the winner!

Jaws: Aw, come on. If she likes it, let her wear whatever she's comfortable in. She'll be under enough stress already.

You: Kirishima, it's the dress from Tetsu's wedding. The one that looks sparkly baby food.

It took him a second to respond.

Jaws: Alright. Understood. I thought you guys looked good but damn, she hated that dress.

You: We all did.

Mina looked at the message chain again and couldn't help but asked, "Are we just gonna ignore the fact that you and Eiji are flying all the way to America, last minute, to attend a wedding together, even though you're not together?"

"We've flown to the states before."

"For work!" She sat up eagerly. "This is different, Y/N! This is a date and not just a, like, casual date but a wedding date!"

You poked your head out of the closet. "No, it isn't. This is a friend helping another friend who stupidly mismarked an RSVP." You corrected very plainly but Mina wasn't one to give up so easily.

She whined, dragging out your name, "You guys have been doing this thing for ages. Why do you have to be so stubborn about it all!"

"What's that supposed to mean!"

Mina started ticking off points on her fingers. "He was the first person you opened up to at UA. You saved his life when he was busy saving Katsuki's life second year. You spent all that time interning together, became sidekicks together. Went to America together for three whole months, ALONE, and you honestly expect me to think there's nothing between the two of you!"

The truth of it all was simple really; 17 year old you had a massive crush on Eijiro Kirishima. He was sweet, always listening to you, providing comfort when you needed it, and always encouraging you to push your limits. He was bright and honest, a little slow in the head from time to time but that made him all the more endearing.

He was also head over heels in love with Katsuki Bakugo.

It was why you never made a move. Never spoke a word of the feelings you harbored. You didn't dare to cross that line with him because you couldn't ever hold a candle to the explosive man.

In the three years Eijiro and Katsuki spent together, your brain finally started registering Eijiro as just a friend, nothing more, and certainly nothing less. You thought your heart had followed suit but it was becoming more and more apparent that wasn't the case. Because the night he showed up at your door, tears in his ruby eyes, every lock you put on your heart broke open.

The same way you couldn't hold a candle to Katsuki, Eijiro couldn't hold one to Izuku. You knew exactly what he was feeling even if you never intended to tell him. Too overcome with fear. If Katsuki came back... that'd be it. Eijiro would go back and you wouldn't even blame him!

Still, the redhead consumed a decent chunk of your heart though, you couldn't deny that after the three months you spent together in America, gathering intel on a smuggling ring, living in the same apartment. The groggy, 'good mornings' when his voice was still scratchy with sleep, hair falling in his eyes. The late nights bandaging wounds and killing cheap bottles of wine while watching terrible American reality shows.

It was those bottles of wine that did you in on your second to last night in America. Supplying you with courage and draining your sense of reason, allowing you to crawl onto his lap, into his arms. You could still remember the pressure of his lips on yours, those sharp teeth gently dragging along your lower lip.

Scared hands tracing the curve of your ass before taking handfuls to squeeze. The laugh that came from you was unlike anything you heard before, something so genuine that you couldn't reproduce.

How it felt when he lifted you up and took you to his bed, laying you down taking his time removing your clothes, and watching with awe as you pulled away his own. The way he looked over top of you, his hair a curtain of red around you just before you closed your eyes, gasping while he filled you.

You also remembered the guilt that crept into your head during the wee hours of the morning, the doubt that was louder than the snores coming from behind you.

It made you slip from under his massive arm, gather up your clothes from his floor, you tucked the blanket around him, and pressed a kiss to his temple before padding out of the room.

You told yourself you'd talk to him about it if he brought it up, but he never did. Not the next morning, or night, not on the plane ride back home, nor anytime since. It was a memory you'd hold close to your heart, one you wouldn't let slip away or share.

"There's nothing there, Mina. We're just good friends is all." You lied with a smile on your face, something that had become surprisingly easy to do.

If only you knew that Mina saw right through it. That Mina already knew the truth of it all.

>>><<<

It was nearly one in the morning when your phone rang. The goofy picture of Eijiro with face half painted at a festival a few years back never failed to make you grin.

"It's a little late." You answered by way of greeting.

"Don't pretend like you were anywhere close to sleeping, you little night owl."

Chuckling at the nickname that had followed you since high school, "What's up, Eiji?"

"I was going over flights. You said in the office that you wanted to leave on Friday?"

"Yeah. I have patrol tomorrow and I didn't find any flights after 6 PM so, Friday is the earliest."

He was quiet on the other line for a moment. "Yeah, you don't have patrol tomorrow, or work at all for that matter."

You sat up a bit straighter in bed. "Um, yes I do."

"No, you don't. I called Mina, asked her if you'd mind taking that shift for you and, since she knows what's happening, she agreed the extra day for travel would do you some good. So, she's covering you tomorrow then you're off work until next Wednesday. As for me, thanks to all that overtime I put in when Denki, Kyoka, and Hitoshi got married, the three of them are splitting up my days so I have until Wednesday too."

Eijiro sounded impossibly proud on the other line, you could almost see the smirk on his face. "You've got this all planned out, don't you?"

"And a bag nearly packed. Just need you to tell me what ties to bring."

"Gold, burgundy, and black."

"Thought your mom said no black for you?"

"She said no black for the wedding. She said nothing about black at the brunch!"

You couldn't wait to put on the tea-length dress that had been a favorite for years. Satin with a lacy top and, best of all, pockets.

He let out a rumbling laugh that fell off into comfortable silence as you laid back in your bed, lights still on, the room still a mess. You tapped the speaker icon and laid the phone on the pillow right beside your head, listing to the various sounds of Eijiro moving around.

A door creaking open, a hanger clattering against another, and a zipper. "And just like that, I'm all set."

"Don't forget your passport or hero license."

"I have one in my wallet and the other in my backpack."

You swiped up on your iPad, off Netflix, and going to google, lazily searching through flights. "So, did you find any good flights since you've clearly been looking?"

Another chuckle, "Eijiro, why are you laughing?" More stifled giggles had you sitting up in bed again. "Just tell me a site you were on. They're just flights, what's so funny?"

"There isn't a site."

"You said you were checking flights."

"And I was... on my family's jet."

"Eiji! No! No, no, no! That is supposed to be for their business or hero things! My stupid cousin's wedding is neither of those things!"

"Relax, Y/N. My family has multiple and they don't have any business trips planned right now anyways. I already cleared it with my mom. Seriously, I just mention your name and she's likely to let me have it for a whole year at least. Plus Todoroki's is back up in working order so the agency is covered too."

Damn, why'd he have to be so good at planning from time to time! You'd completely forgotten about the second jet his family had. Always opting for the larger one since the few missions they needed it for required them to bring fifty or so heroes along.

"Besides, if we fly private, we can land at an airstrip closer to the venue and won't need to drive four hours on top of a ten-hour flight."

"Alright, okay, thank you but, let me take care of the rental car, please. It's the least you can let me do."

"Deal. I just have one more question for ya."

"What's that?"

"Wanna leave tonight?"

You nearly dropped your damn iPad in shock. "Eijiro! What the fuck has gotten into you! It's the middle of the night!"

"I'm excited!" He boomed, "I haven't had a vacation in months!"

"I hate to break this to you, buddy, but this isn't going to be a vacation. You really shouldn't get your hopes up. This isn't going to be a good time with laughs and fun memories... my family, they just, they aren't those kinds of people."

"But we are." He stated matter-of-factly. "If they want to have sticks up their asses then let them! We'll have a good time on our own, laugh and make fun memories! So, what do you say, Y/N? I can be at your place in fifteen. I just gotta put shoes on and grab my keys..."

"Wait, hang on. Are you forgetting that we need someone to, oh, I dunno, FLY THE PLANE! Actually, we need two someone's, can't forget about a co-pilot!"

He hummed happily and you rubbed your temples. "You, you have a pilot and a co, don't you, Eiji?"

"Mhm! There is a company we use. Two can be at the hanger in an hour and every hour after that. I just have to make the call and get the flight plan approved which will be done before I even get to your house."

There was literally no reason to say no. You had mostly everything packed, nothing you needed to get from the store, all you had to do was put on pants and pack up your hygiene bag and you were ready too. Maybe getting there quicker and getting the whole thing over with would be better than staying home dwelling on everything.

"Better put your shoes on."

The glee in his voice, that was enough to make this whole thing worth it, "I'll see you soon."

>>><<<

Eijiro reached into the backseat and plopped a bag down on your lap the very moment you were buckled in. "Had to make a pit stop." He explained.

"It's after two in the morning, where'd you have to..."

"Just open the bag and don't complain."

You found it filled to the brim with all your favorite snacks.

"I'm sure the plane will have a bunch of snacks we can raid but I know for a fact they don't have these." He held up a pack of cookies and creme flavored pocky that had been his favorite for as long as you'd known him, quickly followed by your favorite flavor too. You also found a massive bag of gummy worms and jolly ranchers.

"So, what you're telling me is our teeth are going to rot by the time we land? Not that I'm complaining."

You ripped open the bag of ranchers knowing that was what he'd go for first and sure enough his hand dove inside just as he pulled away from the curb. You could hear his dangerously sharp teeth biting through the rock candy like it was nothing while you still rolled one around your mouth.

Eijiro asked you about the resort you'd be going to, wondering if you'd been there before or what other stuff you guys could do when you weren't dealing with your family. "I figured we could fly back Monday night or Tuesday morning, you know, just play it by ear in case there was anything else we wanted to do."

More than anything, you wished you could just leech a little bit of that excitement from him. The glimpses of his smile you caught as you drove under the street lights made your heart ache.

"What?" He asked with that wide smile of his. You'd been caught staring, red-handed.

"I, uh, I just don't know what to tell you."

You could see the subtle change of his grin, watch as it softened and his hand came to rest on your thigh. "Hey, it's gonna be fine! And if we run into them while out doing stuff, you can just avoid them or hide behind me!" At least hiding behind Eijiro is an easy thing to do, damn mountain of a man.

His thumb slowly brushed back and forth. "'S gonna be okay. I'll beat 'em up if they're assholes!"

You snickered at his Katsuki impression and let the drone of the radio fill the air around you both. Enjoying the silence the rest of the way to the hanger with Eijiro's hand atop your leg.

#mha #bnha #kirishima x reader #kirishima x y/n #eijiro kirishima #kirishima smut #mha x reader #mha x y/n

[caitimetravels]

she's insignificant

chapter 10: where you've gone

the umbrella academy x (fem) reader

disclaimer: i do not own the plot/storyline of the netflix tv series and i do not own the umbrella academy characters.

warnings: none

masterlist

with a sigh, y/n stood. five was still writing away behind her on the walls non-stop. she didn't dare interrupt him, simply leaving. she would be back anyways. all she needed was a nice walk. 

as she wandered down the street with no destination in mind she spaced out, eyes trained on her feet. suddenly someone knocked her shoulder and brought her back to reality. she raised her head, hoping they weren't someone looking to start a fight or argue with her.

"y/n?" instead she was met with allison. her technically older sister seemed frustrated.

"allison? are you okay?" y/n's eyebrows furrowed, looking up at the curly haired woman. 

"yeah.. i think so" she frowned, "i'm worried about vanya. she won't listen to me but her boyfriend, whoever he is.. i think he's dangerous. i couldn't find anything about him-"

"you went searching for his records?" y/n pulled back in disbelief, "allison! you know vanya doesn't like-"

"i know, she already got angry with me" allison sighed, shaking her head.

"why would you do that?" y/n tilted her head up at her, eyes narrowing incredulously. "where are you even going?"

"well, i found his address. i was going to see if anything's weird.." she earned a disapproving look, "i can't just sit around and do nothing y/n! please, help me, for vanya?"

y/n's expression only darkened, "why are you trying to ruin one of the only good things in her life?! she deserves to be happy for once and im not going to help you take that away from her!" she begun to shout, freezing as she realised her powers were getting out of control in the middle of the street. "just.. leave them alone!" 

she took off, hoping to get away, she needed to get away.

————————————————–

as the sweet melody came to soft halt y/n smiled up at her sister. vanya donned a similar grin, placing her violin down and joining y/n on the floor, cross legged and leaning back against her bed.

"one day, you're going to be amazing, v" y/n mumbled quietly, looking like she was in a slight daze, "more amazing than you are now.. you're going to be a famous violinist, i can see it now. 'vanya hargreeves, the world's best violinist'" 

vanya softly nudged her shoulder, shaking her head. "no way, the world? c'mon" 

"i'm serious!" y/n was adamant, sitting up straighter to see her better, "you're gonna be so cool! and everyone here is going to see you and say 'damn, wish i had seen how awesome our sister was back then' and you're going to have lots of fans!"

vanya snorted, shyly brushing her long hair to the side, "yeah, right"

".. you won't forget me when you're famous, right?" y/n leaned back against the bed to avoid direct eye contact, her voice was much softer now. "don't forget me.. okay?" she nervously side eyed her sister, trying to gauge her reaction.

"i could never" vanya shook her head, leaning into the h/c haired girl. both of them shared small content grins.

————————————————–

as she walked upstairs to five's room she heard a commotion, hopefully he hadn't gotten into a fight with one of their siblings again, right?

wrong.

"put her down" five snarled, holding a gun up to luther who held dolores' body out the window. y/n grinned at the sight, highly amused. who would have thought luther would ever threaten someone? well, y'know excluding their missions.. but five nonetheless? she leaned casually against the doorway, arms crossing and waiting for them to sort out whatever issue she walked in on.

"put the gun down, you're not killing anyone today. i know she's important to you so don't make me do this" luther paused, waiting to see what five would do. "it's either her or the gun.. you decide"

eventually five did decide that dolores was more important and dropped the gun before spacial jumping to catch dolores before she could fall. not that much damage would have occurred to the mannequin anyways, maybe a few scratches.

"i can keep doing this all day" luther spoke triumphantly, now holding the gun at his side. y/n snorted, catching their attention.

"you're such children" both glared at her in response, "c'mon, surely you have a better plan than whatever ended up in this-" she gestured vaguely between them, "squabble"

"we did not squabble" five hissed, placing dolores down and straightening his jacket. "but yes, i do have a one other plan" 

————————————————–

the three of them, five, luther and y/n, drove down an empty road before slowing to a stop. five unbuckled his seatbelt and sighed, looking around.

"you know, i never enjoyed it" he started and luther turned to him in confusion.

"what?"

"the killing. i mean i was- i was good at my work and i took pride in it but it never gave me pleasure" he took a deep breath, "i think it was all those years alone. solitude can do funny things to the mind"

"yeah well, you were gone for such a long time.. i only spent four years on the moon but that was more than enough. it's the being alone that breaks you" luther placed a hand on the briefcase, "you think they'll buy it?"

"well, what i do know is that they're desperate. it's like a cop losing his gun" he alluded, "if the commission finds out they'll be in deep shit, well not to mention that they'll be stuck here until they get it back"

"i should hold onto it" luther suggested, patting it with one hand.

"hm?" five's eyebrows furrowed,

"incase they make a move on you" he added to explain his point.

"okay, luther.. but be careful. i've lived a long life but.. you're still a young man, you've got your whole life ahead of you. don't waste it" y/n snorted and five turned to her, unamused.

"what?" they stared at each other for a moment before five shook his head, looking away with a small smile.

suddenly a car began to drive towards them and they all made to get out of the car. "here we go" five sighed again, he was doing that a lot, y/n realised.

the car continued to drive past them, stopping a few metres away.

"if this all goes sideways.. do me a favour and tell dolores i'm sorry" five turned to luther who nodded slowly.

as five walked away from them y/n leaned back against the car.

"i have a bad feeling about this" she nervously picked at her nails and luther frowned, looking over at her.

"why? what's wrong?"

"that.. i don't know yet" she looked down the road, "i just.. feel like something's off" she shook her head as five walked back, leaning next to her.

luther stepped forwards a bit, "what happens now?"

"now we wait" 

barely a moment later they heard the music of an ice cream truck. y/n squinted against the sun and wind, trying to work out who it was. she took a moment to focus, sensing klaus, diego and ben. uh oh.

as the car got closer luther turned to five, "is that her?"

"luther, you idiot" y/n shook her head, "it's klaus and diego" right on time klaus waved to them as they passed.

the two assassins begun shooting, thinking it was a set up and y/n raised her arms to cover her head as luther stepped in front of her and five to block any shots.

suddenly time stopped.. well, only for five.

he frowned down at y/n next to him, the girl cowering in on herself. he felt bad for bringing her into something like this but she was very persistent.

he slowly stepped under luther's arm, looking at everyone frozen in slight confusion.

"neat trick, isn't it?" a feminine voice called out behind him and he turned to face the woman he had asked to see. the handler. she stared at him, pulling the veil over her face up and onto her hat instead before pulling her sunglasses off.

"hello, five" she smiled, "you look good.. all things considered" she softly gestured to all of him.

"it's good to see you again" he nodded back,

"feels like we met just yesterday, 'course you were a little bit older then" she teased, "congratulations on the age regression, by the way. very clever, threw us all off the scent"

"ah, well, i wish i could take credit" five shrugged, looking away. "i just miscalculated the time dilation of projections and.. well, you know, here i am" his gaze met hers once again, throwing his hands up before putting them back in his pockets, casually.

"you realise your efforts are futile" the handler shifted so that her briefcase was behind her, "so, why don't you tell me what you really want?"

"i want you to put a stop to it" five moved his own hands behind his back. 

"you realise what you're asking for is next to impossible even for me" she shook her head, "what's meant to be is meant to be. that's our raison d'etre" 

"yeah?" five smiled sarcastically, pulling a gun from his shorts "well how about survival as a raison?" 

"i'll just be replaced, i am but a small cog in a machine" the handler waved it off, ignoring the gun pointing straight at her heart. "this fantasy you've been nurturing about summoning up your family to stop the apocalypse is just that.. a fantasy. i must say though, we'll quite impressed with your initiative, your stick-to-it-tiveness, really quite- quite something. which is why we want to offer you, a new position back at the commission, in management" the handler held a hand up, smiling like her offer was an obvious choice.

"sorry what's that now?" five scoffed as she stepped closer, hand tightening on the gun.

"come back to work for us again, you know it's where you belong" 

"well, it didn't work out too well the last time" he glared up at her, not liking the persistence.

"oh but you wouldn't be in the correction department any longer, i'm talking about the home office, you'd have the best health and pension and an end to this ceaseless travel" she laughed freely, "you're a distinguished professional in.. school boy shorts. we have the technology to reverse the process. i mean you- you can't be happy like this" she slowly pushed his gun down, stepping ever closer.

"i'm not looking for happy" he spat through gritted teeth.

the handler only tilted her head, eyeing him carefully before raising a hand to stroke his cheek, "we're all looking for happy. we can make that happen, we can make you.. yourself again"

five huffed a laugh, gesturing to his siblings. "what about my family?"

"what about them?" the handler raised an eyebrow, acting like she didn't already know he intended to save them.

"i want them to survive" 

the handler took in a deep breath, taking in the sight of luther protecting y/n who was still crouching against the car as well as diego and klaus who were in the middle of crashing the ice cream truck.

"all of them?" 

"yes, all of them" he narrowed his eyes at her,

the handler gave him a small smirk, moving towards the recoiled girl. five watched carefully, waiting to see what she would do.

"it's such a shame.. she would have done well with us. if only we could take her too" she reached a hand out, about to touch her but five moved first, spacial jumping in front of her and grabbing her hand. he held her away from y/n.

"don't touch her" he snarled, unmoving from his protective stance. 

"my my, five, i didn't expect such protectiveness from you" the handler merely smirked, stepping away. as they walked back she once again proposed her deal.

"well" the handler begun, reaching a hand into her pocket and pulling out her sunglasses before putting them back on her face. "i'll see what i can do from them.. do we have a deal?" she reached a hand out to him, awaiting his acceptance. he merely stared at her hand before sighing,

"one thing" five stepped back, putting his gun in his shorts again. he walked over to hazel's gun on the floor, taking out the ammunition and chucking it on one side of the road before chucking the rest of the gun to the other. he turned and walked back, noticing the bullet headed towards luther and y/n. he frowned, using his pointer finger and thumb to move it over so that it would hit the car instead of them.

as soon as he shook her outstretched hand they disappeared and time was restored.

y/n shivered, ignoring the bullet hitting the car next to her and the way her siblings scrambled around to get away quick. she allowed herself to be shoved into the car with klaus and diego, spaced out.

"you alright?" diego turned to her while klaus stuck the middle finger up at hazel and cha cha. 

"i felt someone else.. it was only for a moment but i felt someone.." she spoke solemnly, staring at her shaking hands. "and then five just.. disappeared"

tag list: (if your name is crossed i couldnt tag you) @rxses-and-reverie @lostgreekgod @on-yourmark-99 @bicyhot1 @navs-bhat @midnightmystic @shawkneecaps @baby-bi-bi-bi-yeah @velveticxyyy

#tua #the umbrella academy #tua x sibling reader #the umbrella academy x sibling reader #five hargreeves #diego hargreeves #allison hargreeves #klaus hargreeves #vanya hargreeves #luther hargreeves #ben hargreeves #five hargreeves x reader #diego hargreeves x reader #allison hargreeves x reader #klaus hargreeves x reader #vanya hargreeves x reader #luther hargreeves x reader #ben hargreeves x reader

[yesimwriting]

The Promise of Rain

A/n finally writing that Kaz Brekker x reader angsty-fluff where the reader is all sunshine-y and Kaz is dramatic as always lol 

Might make this a blurb series bc i like this dynamic so much lol

Pairing: Kaz Brekker x sunshine-y reader 

Summary: After a mission gone wrong, Kaz has a conversation with the reader (who’s a runaway princess) about what happens to people who stay near him. 

-- 

He once said that he didn’t believe in Saints. A moment later he conceded that perhaps they existed in order to appease Inej, but he was quick to tact on that if Saints existed they didn’t care about him. Inej and I had exchanged a look, she pleaded with me in silence to let him be. I opened my mouth despite the look in her eyes, but he had walked away before I could get any words out. 

He believes that the Saints don’t care about him, but as soon as he was dragged in by Jesper, bleeding and more broken than usual, it had started to rain. The rain is a promise. The rain is a sign that he will wake up. 

I tap a finger against the forgotten book on my lap, ignoring the dried blood I’ve been too anxious to wash off. When Kaz wakes up he’ll either scold me or partially tease me for waiting here by his bedside. The rain continues, cascading down invisible hope. 

“Save your prayers, even for you the Saints won’t regard me.” Kaz. His voice is raspier than it should be and his slight condescension is blighted by the tired flatness of it. But it’s him. He’s speaking. 

I tear my gaze away from the window, almost forgetting to tamper down my relief before finally looking at him. I haven’t known him long enough to see him in any level of defeat, but I’ve heard enough stories. The fictional exaggeration of those that fear him have made him seem so immortal. Some part of me must have internalized that because to see him like this, to see him so human is too intimate. 

“Don’t be so narcissistic.” Something about Kaz always leaves me feeling challenged, like each comment is some kind of dare. I adjust my posture. “I wasn’t praying because I knew you’d be okay.” 

His expression is unchanging. “So much faith in me?” 

There’s a soft edge to his words, an attempt to twist some kind of awkward denial out of me. Some days I don’t think Kaz enjoys anything and then other days I think he enjoys any misstep in my words. 

I shrug, pushing down the flood of relief still attempting to crawl out of my chest. “You’re always okay.” I scratch the back of my wrist idly. “It seems the safe bet.” 

“Don’t tell me you’ve been taking gambling advice from Jesper.” 

I half roll my eyes. “No--Jesper and I don’t play together anymore.” I let out an easy sigh. “Last time I beat him he bordered on a hissy fit.” There’s the slightest hint of upturning at the corners of his lips. “I should go tell Jesper and Inej you’re awake.” 

“I think you should change out of that dress first.”

He was more likable when I thought he might die at any second. “Wow--Kaz Brekker the professional stylist.” He has no right to judge the formal gown I’m in. Yes, my outfit is ridiculous, but I’m only wearing it because the Crows needed someone they knew at a merchant’s party for a part of some scheme they wouldn’t share the details of with me. “Yes, I’m aware that this dress is more tulle than anything else, but I’m only wearing it because I was helping you.” 

I wait for some retort about how he could have managed without my assistance or some kind of comment about how I didn’t need such a large dress to flirt and distract the guards as the Crows snuck into the merchant’s private office. “You fit in there more than you said you would.” 

From anyone else, I’d consider this an insult. “I was making an effort for the sake of your plans.” 

“I saw you before I went into the office, you knew the dances, the man took your hand.” 

That’s the weirdest observation I’ve ever witnessed someone reflect on. “That’s how those dances tend to work.” I don’t hide the confusion in my expression. “How much blood did you lose?” 

Kaz’s piercing gaze drops to the blanket on his lap. “Not a concerning amount.”

“Why do I feel like we have different definitions of ‘concerning’?” 

His eyes flit upwards, a partial smirk playing at his lips. “We define a lot of things differently.” He pauses, “You defined the life you slipped into so easily tonight as something you could never do.” 

“I can’t.” What is his problem? “One dance is different than an eternity of planning teas and marrying some man who only keeps me so I can rear his children.” 

“You’d end up marrying someone who could give you things.”

He better not be implying I should be having children. I’m seriously starting to hope he did lose a significant amount of blood because that would be some kind of explanation. “I don’t want anyone to be giving me children right now, but I guess your concern is ni--”

“No, no,” he screws his eyes shut for a long second, “You know what I meant.” I stay silent. “You’re technically a princess, y/n, you could have more than the Barrel.” There’s an odd silence as he pauses. “Someone like you should have more than the Barrel.” 

He speaks like his word is law. That’s the one habit of his I can never seem to forgive. Is Kaz telling me to go home? To go back to a mother who dreams of marrying me off and a father with a temper that often leads to violence? He may be Dirtyhands, but he is no one to tell me who to go back to. Not after I risked my anonymity to get him into that merchant’s office. 

I shut my book and stand in one swift motion. “I’m going to tell Jesper and Inej that you’re awake.”

“Y/n.” I ignore him. “Y/n.” Again, I ignore him, approaching the doorway. The rustling of sheets leaves me frozen, hand on the doorknob. “Y/n.” 

Without thinking, I turn on my heels while glaring. There’s no way he’s proud enough to have climbed out of bed wi--and he’s standing. Standing almost directly behind me. 

“Kaz Brekker, I am going to say this one time and one time only.” I keep my words measured and my tone flat. No room for argument. “You just had nine stitches put in near your heart, get your ass back in bed before that is no longer your only injury.” 

He pauses, lips pressed together into a tight white line. And then his mouth opens, pried open by an oddly light sound. Did he just--Did Kaz Brekker just laugh? He doesn’t laugh. I didn’t think he was physically capable, and now he laughs while I’m threatening him? I should hit him on principle alone and damn the consequences. 

“Did you--” I’m gaping at him with a rage I am not accustomed to. “Did you just laugh?” 

Kaz is quick to shut his mouth. “You did swear you’d get me to laugh one day.” 

Saints--now he chooses to have some kind of sense of humor. “Not while I was threatening you for being an idiot after saying my lineage means that I’m meant to be trapped in the life I desire least.” 

“I didn’t say that.” I raise an eyebrow. “You don’t deserve more than this because of your family, you deserve more than this because--” He cuts himself off with a sharp sigh. “Do you remember what happened the day we met?” 

He had wanted to return me to my father for the money. I had managed to convince him I could be more useful working for him without profit. The first day had been tense, I had sworn to myself that I would hate him forever. 

“I remember really hating you.” I remember thinking him beautiful despite his darkness. “I remember it started raining on our way here.” 

“You had a hood, but you pushed it off your head to feel the rain.” I don’t remember that because indulging in the rain is instinctual to me. “You looked at the rain, and you smiled--and then you saw a woman with a child and you took off your hood and gave it to them.” 

“What does that have to d--” 

“Watching that felt like intruding on an intimate moment I had no business knowing about, but it wasn’t that to you. That moment was nothing to you because that moment was who you are.” 

I don’t understand what he sees in something I can barely remember. “Kaz, what does that have to do with anything?” 

“I’m the monster that children believe live under their beds, I’m the bastard of the Barrel, I’m someone who gets blood on everything near them.” His gaze is harsher than I’ve ever seen it as he focuses on the dried blood splotched across my hands and arms. “And then I can’t even help you wash it off.” 

Those last words are the closest to broken I’ve ever heard him sound. “Kaz--”

“And you’re the girl who looks at the rain like it’s a gift from the Saints.” 

Is he implying what I think he’s implying? Even if I believed him such a source of evil, even if I felt like touch mattered that much--why would he care? I keep the much more frightening implication at bay as I exhale. Clarity will only make this conversation worse. “That doesn’t matter.” The words leave me in a low whisper. 

I stare at the ground until his silence is something I can no longer bear. Looking up as cautiously as possible, I take in his expression. I’ve never seen him look so--so enraged. “It doesn’t matter?!” He doesn’t bother hiding the fact that he’s practically seething. “I’ve viewed your presence here as temporary since you first came and despite that, when I saw you there…” The breath he lets out is practically pained. “When I saw what your life is meant to be--I didn’t want you to go.” 

The admission breaks something hard in my chest. “I never wanted to go.” My eyeline drops to the ground. “I didn’t want to go when you were trying to make me, I didn’t want to go when it was only for that evening.” I swallow a lump of emotion restricting my throat. “When you were bleeding out and Jesper had to carry you back here I let myself imagine what it’d be like if you died. And it hurt. It hurt so badly I asked myself if I would rather never know you than feel that pain.” 

“Would you?” His voice has gone hollow. 

I finally look up again. “No.” That word leaves me more bare than any physical touch ever could. 

“I stain everything that stays with me,” his voice has seamlessly shifted back to a tone meant for business, “Me wanting you to stay is more than enough reason for you to leave.”

My chest aches as emotions I’ll never be able to place a name to pound against my chest. “I’m a princess that ran away from her family and tried to befriend her kidnapper--you can’t possibly be narcissistic enough to believe that you’re what’s corrupted me.” 

“Y/n,” his voice is gravely again, the way it was when he first woke up. 

“No. What could you possibly think I’d say to that?” He’s insane--I’m not even sure I understand what he’s implying. “You know I’ll never agree with what you’re saying, so I have no idea what kind of reaction you’re looking for.”

“Maybe a genuine one.” 

The comment is so frustrating I can’t help but roll my eyes. The irony of Kaz Brekker asking for a genuine reaction to an emotionally heavy comment is almost laughable. “My genuine reaction is that you’re acting like an idiot because I don’t agree with anything you’re saying, but calling someone an idiot after they’ve been stabbed in the chest is a little insensitive so I can’t give you my genuine reaction.”

Kaz half-scoffs, “You don’t agree? Y/n--are you hearing me!? I want--I want you to stay.” Even angry, the admission warms me. He lets out a frustrated sigh. “More than that I want--” 

“What?” 

He shakes his head once. “I want something that can never be because I can’t give what needs to be given to get it.” 

“Kaz, if it involves me staying you don’t need to give anything for that because I don’t want to go.” 

“I-want-you-to-stay-with-me.” The admission is pried from him by some invisible force. He speaks so fiercely the sentence comes out as one angry word. 

He speaks so quickly a part of me is convinced that I misheard him. I watch him as he moves back to the bed, sitting down in a way so resigned I wonder if I blurted something out on instinct. 

“Kaz,” this is embarrassing, “I wanted to stay with you even when I wanted to hate you.”

I take in his measured expression, the only thing implying any kind of reaction is the way his eyebrows draw together. “Don’t say that, you don’t understand what that means.” 

“Why? Because you’re convinced you’ll ruin me?” 

“Y/n, we’d be together with a wall between us, keeping us from ever touching.” 

“I will tolerate any amount of damage you’re so convinced staying with you will bring, I will stay with you and never touch you and think nothing of it--but I will not stay with you just to stand in front of a wall.” I let out a tired breath. “I will stay with you but my one condition will be that you have to let me know you.” 

Kaz’s intense gaze wavers. “The first thing you’ll know is that me allowing you to stay is a testament to my greed.” 

I give him a sharp look, “It’s not greed if I want to be here.” 

He half sighs, leaning against a pillow as he turns to look out the window. “It’s raining,” he muses, “The Saints must have done that for you.” 

The sentiment is so soft my heart feels like it’s constricting. “I thought you didn’t believe in the Saints.” 

“If they exist, they do so for people like you.” 

I push past the emotion in my chest as I move to sit in the same chair I was in earlier. “I was honest when I said I didn’t pray for you.” I scratch the back of my arm, a coldness passing over me. “I didn’t pray because I knew you would be okay because you had to be.” 

“They wouldn’t have saved me,” he mumbles, “Or maybe they would have for you.” 

I shake my head once, staring at the rain with more fascination than before. 

--

General Taglist: @theincredibledeadlyviper @grishaverse7 @lonelystarship

#kaz brekker #kaz brekker x reader #kaz brekker x you #kaz brekker imagine #six of crows #six of crows x reader #six of crows x you #six of crows imagine #six of crows netflix #six of crows show #soc #soc imagine #shadow and bone #shadow and bone x reader #shadow and bone show #grishaverse #grisha #grishavers x reader #grishaverse imagine

[adoringhaikyuu]

you’re horny on your period 

characters: aone + atsumu + kageyama + kenma + (gn!reader) 

request: hey babes, can i request hq boys (of ur choice, but with tsumu on it pls) with a fem s/o whos on her period and very horny? lol, if ur uncomfortable with it i'll totally understand • by anonymous

warnings: horny tings, suggestive tings, period sex mentions but nothing actually happens <3

notes: everyone is 18+ in this !! the reader has their period obviously but there are no pronouns used so technically it’s gn :) i actually rly like this one!

aone 

you tried to get over it, but it was no use

it’d been an hour and you were still needy, an unsatisfied ache in the pit of your stomach and between your legs, not just because of your cramps

you were debating telling aone because you didn’t to bother him and period sex could be messy and some might even say gross

but of course, like the observant boyfriend he is, he noticed something was bothering you

aone walked into your bedroom, immediately sensing your discomfort. he stopped in front of the bed where you were sitting. his voice was gentle, despite his serious exterior but you could tell he was worried. “cramps?” 

you paused, deciding to speak before you changed your mind. “yeah, but that’s not really what’s bothering me...” 

he raised his brows, silently asking you to explain so he could help you.

“i...” you rubbed your thighs together, shuffling on the bed nervously as you focused your eyes on the sheets rather than his curious eyes. “i’m just feeling kind of needy?”

he stayed standing, “oh...would you like me to help?”

“yes–no?” you looked up to see him tilting his head at you, confused. “i just know some people find it gross and it can be messy, you know? don’t wanna be a bother.” 

“your issue is the mess?” 

you nodded and he hummed before leaving without another word. you sunk down a bit. you were fully prepared for it to go either way, but the rejection still kinda hurt a bit. you were about to go to the shower to take care of yourself when aone came back into the room, a towel and wipes in his hand. 

you looked up at him shocked, “what––”

he put the towel down and set the wipes aside, “for the mess.”

you immediately got up and pulled him in for a kiss, making his eyes widen slightly before he gave in, holding you by the waist. you mumbled against his lips, “i love you so much.” when you pulled away, you noticed the light blush and subtle smile on his face.

he licked his lips. “i love you too.” 

atsumu

normally when you were on your period, you wouldn’t let tsumu touch you tbh

period sex was a hassle

and normally you could control yourself or just take care of yourself on your own time in the shower or while he was out

but today for some reason, you needed him 

well you knew the reason actually––

as soon as atsumu came home, drenched in sweat from the gym, his grey tank top practically glued to his torso. you could see his neck shining and even his hair was wet, which you saw once he took off his cap. 

he set things down and immediately ran over to you on the couch to give you a quick kiss. “hey babe,” he grinned and stood up straight, stretching his arms behind his head, which wasn’t helping you at all. “damn that workout was intense, i’m beat. i’m gonna head to the shower, okay? then we can cuddle.” 

you opened your mouth but didn’t say anything, nodding instead. he smiled and headed towards the bathroom but he only made it about three steps before you stopped him with a call of his name, the sight of his back only furthering the feelings you had.

he turned back, “yeah?” 

you paused, “i um...” you sighed, “i need you.”

you could see a smile forming it’s way onto his face slowly, not wanting to get his hopes up too soon. he always wanted to help you out on your period but you’d never let him. 

“like need me need me?” 

you nodded “but we’ll only do it in the shower!” 

the smile finally burst on in his face. he made his way over to you again and planted a big kiss on your lips, groaning happily when you moaned lightly. 

“on second thought another workout doesn’t sound too bad.” he winked and smiled cheekily before throwing you over his shoulder and running to the bathroom, ignoring your yelp. 

“what got you so worked up anyway?” he asked casually, stepping into the bathroom. 

he set you down and you looked up at him sheepishly, “you...”

he grinned smugly, his hands reaching for your shirt. “oh i am so blowing your back out–”

kageyama

you tried to ignore what you were feeling, not wanting to ruin the moment since you and kageyama loved to do this every week

have a movie night and just relax

and you now he’d been working really hard lately so he deserved some rest

but you had a problem

you kept fidgeting in your seat next to him, trying to either relieve yourself slightly or make it go away, you weren’t too sure

and to be honest you weren’t really paying attention to it and kageyama could tell

after twenty minutes or so into the movie, he asked you what was wrong but you waved him off, assuring him it was nothing

but you couldn’t help but focus on him, the sharp cut of his jawline, the curve of his lips

then he put his hand on your thigh and you got to thinking of the feeling of his hands on you

and that sent you down a tunnel of unholy thoughts

kageyama felt your fingertips tracing the veins in his hands and tried to ignore it at first, keeping his eyes trained on the tv. but when you let your fingers trail up along his arm as well, his hand subconsciously squeezed your thigh and his eyes widened when you let out a quiet moan.

you both paused and kageyama turned his head slowly, eyes wide and looked at you, his lips parted. “are you–” he swallowed, trying to calm himself down. “okay?” 

you looked over at him, trying to act innocent. “mhm. just tickled, that’s all.” 

he nodded and turned back to the screen, and you tried to as well, but you kept glancing back at him, debating with yourself about whether or not you should say something. you didn’t want to be selfish and disrupt the movie, but you also couldn’t ignore what you were feeling, it was too intense. 

it lasted about five minutes before he looked at you from the corner of his eye. “you know i can see you watching me, right?” 

you felt your cheeks heat up and you huffed. “i’m sorry i just...” he turned to face you fully, curious and a bit concerned. his hand trailed up to your inner thigh, completely innocently and that’s when you decided you couldn’t hide it anymore. 

“i’m horny tobio.” 

his eyes brightened and he stuttered for a bit, “o–oh. well––do you want me to help?” he started to move closer but you looked to the side and he stopped. 

“it’s just––i’m on my period.” when he didn’t say anything for a few seconds you looked back to find him staring at you blankly.

he tilted his head and looked from side to side. “and?” 

you opened your mouth and closed it. “well...i’m, you know...bleeding...doesn’t that bother you? it’ll take more like effort and i know you’re tired––”

he cut you off, placing a hand under your chin, a shy smile on his face. “i don’t care about that. plus wouldn’t it help with your cramps?” 

you nodded, “well, only if you make me cum.” 

his brows furrowed, offended. “i always make you!” 

“yeah you do.” you laughed, taking his hand in yours, making him smile at you. “but are you sure you want to do this now? it might get messy.”

he leaned in and kissed your cheek before pulling back to look at you earnestly, his eyes a shade darker. “i don’t care.” he kissed you on the lips, “all i care about,” his hand tilted your head and pulled you closer, whispering against your lips. “is making you feel better.” 

kenma

kenma could tell something was off about you

he knew you were on your period but there was something else that he couldn’t figure out

he was waiting for you to tell him but you never did

the thing is, you’d just moved in together a few months ago and while you’ve had a couple periods in the same house 

(which he’s totally normal about) 

you haven’t done anything while you were on your period

normally you’d take care of yourself, but you felt a little self conscious about doing it in your shared house for some reason 

and kenma like never left the house

sure, he had his headphones on a lot but still––

so you were a little tense and though you thought he was distracted, he definitely noticed

kenma stepped into your room and you smiled up at him before going back to your phone, thinking he was switching from the ps4 to the pc set up in your bedroom. but he didn’t, he came and stood next to your side of the bed, making you look up at him in surprise. 

“oh hey ken,” you sat up, your legs pressed tightly together. “what’s up?”

he looked at you for a moment before speaking up. “nothing...what’s wrong with you?”

your brows furrowed, “what do you mean?”

he sighed. “i can tell something’s wrong...” he looked down, a bit shy. “i was waiting for you to come to me about it but you never did. was it something i did?”

your eyes widened, he’d noticed? “no––no you didn’t do anything wrong babe.”

“oh.” he nodded, crouching down beside you, resting his chin on the mattress. “then what is it? i can tell it’s not nothing.” 

you swallowed and set your phone down before looking down at him. “i just...” you sighed, “i’m kind of worked up...and i was too nervous to do something about it.” 

his eyes widened this time. “oh––”

you looked away. “yeah.” 

“well you don’t have to be nervous about that.” he stood up, a small smile on his face. “that’s perfectly fine.” 

you looked up at him, “oh, really?”

he nodded, “of course.”

you smiled, “oh thank you. so how long are you staying out for?”

his brows furrowed, “what? why would i leave the house––”

“wait you wanna stay?––” you paused, “well can you at least put your headphones on and close the bedroom door on your way out?” 

he blinked at you. “how can i help you if i’m not in the room?” 

you blinked back. “you want to help me?” 

he blushed and nodded sheepishly, “yeah...why wouldn’t i?” 

you stuttered a bit, “well i just––you know i’m bleeding, that could get messy...” 

he paused and glanced around the room seemingly in thought, and you figured that he was rethinking the whole situation until he spoke up again. “well i want you to be comfortable and the shower isn’t the best place for that...so how about i just get a towel to put here instead?” 

you stared at him for a few seconds, “each day i fall more and more in love with you.” 

he blushed even deeper and tried to hide his smile as he turned around, “shut up––i’m going to get the towel.” 

#aone #aone x reader #aone smut #aone fluff #aone headcanon #atsumu #atsumu x reader #atsumu smut #atsumu headcanon #atsumu fluff #kageyama #kageyama x reader #kageyama smut #kageyama headcanon #kageyama fluff #kenma #kenma x reader #kenma smut #kenma fluff #kenma headcanon

[x-pair-o-dice-x]

i definitely didn’t start write this in the past four days because i procrastinated, haha, why would you think that? anyway, here’s my secret santa gift for @random-tinies!!! i have both art, and a fic for you!!

now, for the fic..

apologies if they’re a bit out of character, i don’t know much about writing them all that much yet,, fkdmdkmdkdmd.

quick warnings: soft vore, unintentional fearplay, fear of death, digestion mention(none happen!!), probably inaccurate pirate information.

—————————

now, dream wouldn’t say he was a pirate, exactly.

honestly, all he did was travel around the sea sometimes, do some minor crimes(most not even out in the ocean!), hunt down the occasional treasure, and have a couple wanted posters. really, he’d just say he was a criminal, that just happened to occasionally operate in the big blue sea.

his mother, though? she was a pirate. and a damn good one, he had to say.

the feared captain of the deep blue, they called her. one of the most infamous pirates known in the esempi region. there was hardly any other pirate around that matched her skills.

he just called her puffy, though.

technically speaking, he wasn’t biologically her son. but really, out in the sea, blood didn’t matter as much as bonds did. and the moment she had found him stowed away on her old ship, before she was as big as she was now, years and years ago, she knew he had potential.

and, well. seeing as he was now her first mate, he supposes she must have been right.

their crew had grown since then — not by much, mind you, but no one really minded.

one of the most early ones was her other son, someone who went by the name foolish. as the months go by, he comes and goes, staying for a couple days before heading off to who knows where. the only person who seemed to know where exactly he went between the weeks he was away was puffy herself — and she didn’t seem particularly keen on telling anyone, either. that’s alright with him, though. dream knows enough about having a background he would frankly like to leave behind, he wasn’t about to pry.

then there were george and sapnap, two people he got very acquainted with, seeing the various months he spent on the run from him. cons of technically being a wanted criminal: you’ll get bounty hunters on your tail pretty much every week. pros of being a wanted criminal: you can take those same bounty hunters, and make them a part of your family. it took a long while, but eventually, the two came around to him — and now, they’re a part of the journey.

..well, currently, george isn’t part of this particular journey. he was a fucking coward (affectionate), and would have rather stayed home doing.. whatever it is a george does when he’s home alone.

and then, there was skeppy.

......dream honestly didn’t know skeppy’s deal.

he doesn’t mean that in any bad way, of course, it’s just. he has absolutely no clue where he even came from. literally, he just kind of, showed up one day. swears not even puffy knows anything about skeppy.

and, even weirder, it seems skeppy knows sapnap? like, foolish, that would make some sense, who knows what the fuck he does when he’s not around. george, he could see, if he squinted. but.. sapnap?

granted, he doesn’t know much about sapnap’s background, but he didn’t seem like the type to hang around people like skeppy. the guy had practically no sense of preservation(well, neither did he, but he’d like to pretend it’s better than it is), and pulled pranks every five seconds. sapnap was a hothead, but a loyal one, too. it just seems like they’d bash heads every now and then, with skeppy getting on one too many nerves.

and don’t get him wrong, they do fight, occasionally; but.. it seems more lighthearted than anything.

well, dream supposes it wasn’t any of his business. if they ever want to share their backstory over a campfire, he’ll be glad to listen, but he won’t pry.

no matter how much he really wants to.

back onto the topic at hand(did he have a topic to begin with?) — adventure!

the crew was currently out on an expedition, following a map that puffy had... borrowed, for a bit. the map didn’t exactly say what it led to, but puffy had a feeling it would lead to something worthwhile.

and so, they all had set off. barring george and foolish, of course, for aforementioned reasons.

they were out in the middle of the sea, on a spare ship — their main one had gotten a bit beat up on their last journey, and needed to be left behind for repairs. while it was a shame to leave behind the beloved ship, it was probably for the best — they had enough trouble manning the ship with their usual five members, maybe six if they were lucky. with the much smaller ship, four people was just the right amount to keep her from sinking.

as long as nothing went terribly wrong, they should reach their destination in no time! it’s already been a couple of days since they had first set out, if they keep up the pace, they should be arriving in just a couple more.

the sky was a little gray and cloudy, but it shouldn’t be too much trouble. they’ve bested storms before, on their main ship, even if one were to strike now, they’re experienced. they’ll make it through just fine.

——————————

alright, uh. couple hours later, and.. the clouds look just... a tiny bit worse.

well.

maybe just a bit more than a, well. a bit.

“uh, dad?” dream spoke up, turning his head to puffy, who tilts her head slightly towards him from her position at the wheel. “is it just me, or does the sky look a bit..”

“i see it, duckling.” puffy interrupts. she looks about five seconds from gripping her hands right around the wheel, but her voice is just about calm. he can only catch a hint of it being anything other than that. “hopefully, we can leave this area before it hits.”

“and, if we can’t?”

“well,” puffy taps her fingers on the wheel. “this ship has survived a bunch. not as much as our big guy, but it’s had a decent amount. we’ll be fine.” even as she says that, though, her mouth was pressed into a thin line.

dream hummed, but left it at that. he turned back around and looked for how his other crew mates were faring.

sapnap is all but leaning over the edge of the ship, staring out at the sea with an unreadable expression.

skeppy is, frankly, nowhere to be seen. that would be concerning, if it were anybody but skeppy. he just makes a mental note to be careful for any hidden tricks around the ship.

he decides to go up to sapnap — the guy looks troubled, almost. he could probably use a distraction. they both could, really.

“you good, man?” he says, causing the man to startle. wow, sapnap must have been really deep in his thoughts, he wasn’t even trying to hide his footsteps.

“oh, hey dream.” sapnap said, relaxing his shoulders.

“must have been thinking pretty hard there, that’s new.” he grinned, resulting in a harsh punch to his shoulder.

“fuck off, dude.” sapnap glared at him, though the effect was ruined with the smile he gave him.

“hey, i don’t want you to ruin your mind with all those thoughts going around, could mess up your perfectly empty brain!” dream shrugged with a wider grin, before dodging some more punches.

“i am going to fucking kill you if you don’t stop.” dream laughed.

“good luck, then you’ll have an angry pirate captain on your tail.”

sapnap stuck his tongue out at him, causing dream to laugh harder at him.

the two sobered down a bit after that, sapnap going back to looking at the swarming clouds in the sky.

“looks like a storm is brewing.” sapnap said.

“oh really? i couldn’t tell.”

“dream i will kill you. i almost succeeded before, don’t test me.”

dream snorted. a brief silence followed.

“it.. kinda looks like it’s gonna be bad. like.. really bad.” sapnap spoke up.

dream paused.

“i.. i think we’ll be fine.” dream said slowly. sapnap turned to him with a raised eyebrow.

“well- okay, fine is a strong word. but i know we’ll make it out, if worst comes to worst.” dream amended.

sapnap turned back to the sea. the apprehensive look was back on his face.

“hey.” dream nudged his friend. “we’re gonna be okay.”

sapnap glanced back at him. he paused, before giving him a small smile.

“and hey,” dream continues, “on the one percent chance we do die — unlikely, by the way — i give you full permission to kill me again.”

sapnap huffs out a laugh at that, giving him another punch, softer than before.

“i’m going to hold you to that, you know.”

“wouldn’t have offered if i was going to back out, pandas.” dream grinned at him.

sapnap gives a grin back, before looking back at sea again, looking lighter than before. dream’s own eyes softened.

yeah, they were gonna end up fine.

——————————

so uh.

things... weren’t going fine.

like, not even in the slightest.

you know that storm? the one that wasn’t too bad?

yeah no, it.. it got worse. way, way worse.

dream tightened his grip on the sail’s mast as the ship lurched, as lightning cracked, and thunder roared. by the gods, this might be the worst storm he’s seen yet, though he has to admit, he hasn’t seen many. at least, not out at sea.

puffy’s holding on to the wheel like her life depends on it — and it does, all of their lives depend on it — she’s trying her best to gain back control of the ship, but judging by the desperation on her face, it isn’t going so well.

the ship lurches again as another wave crashes onto the ship, one large enough to splash him with the salty water. he finds his eyes laying on skeppy, grasping onto the door to the captain’s office for dear life — dream’s not gonna bother even asking why he was in there to begin with, he’s pretty sure he knows the answer, not that it really matters anyway.

he searches for the final member of his crew, and finds sapnap holding on to the ropes climbing up to the crow’s nest — he must have been up there right before the storm hit, dream thinks. shit, that is a terrible place to be in any sort of storm, especially one like this.

none of them had any warning when the storm hit. at one point, everything was fine, they were set on course to be out of the area before things could escalate. the next? chaos, utter chaos. no one could get to a safe spot, no one could prepare.

all they could do was hold on and hope.

the ship lurched once again, a particularly large wave hitting the poor vessel, and- he hears a gut-wrenching, terrified scream, and he turns his head just in time to see sapnap fall just out of sight, out of the boat, into the water. he could barely hear the splash under the clamor of everything else.

“SAPNAP!” dream cried, a hand reaching out, as if that could save him.

nononONONONO-

“MAN OVERBOARD!” puffy shouted, looking around with wide eyes, but no one moved to do anything. they couldn’t, really, not if they wanted to join him. then that would just be two bodies to worry about.

that didn’t change the fact that dream desperately wanted to jump in after him — he can’t lose a friend, he just can’t. he doesn’t want to have to break the news to george, he doesn’t think his heart could take that. please, please, please, prime, let his friend live, through whatever miracle that exists, let sapnap live-

suddenly, a loud, haunting cry echoed through the atmosphere, piercing through the storm.

dream’s heart stopped.

that was a siren.

that was a siren.

he wasn’t even aware they were in siren territory, shit shit shit.

they really were as good as dead, now, if they fell into the water.

(he doesn’t think about what this might mean for sapnap, he doesn’t think about it he doesn’t think about it he doesn’t-)

another shriek shatters his thoughts, one much louder than the previous. shit, were there two of them??

puffy seemed to be going through the same thought process as him, but before they could even do anything about it, the ship lurches again, and he has to hug the mast as tight as he could to keep himself from falling off — he swears that the ship did a ninety degree angle then, if not close to it. that’s not comforting at all!

before they could even think about relaxing, he hears-

“LOOK OUT-!” skeppy shouts, and dream looks just in time to see a large wave, one bigger than the entire ship towering over them, before suddenly he finds himself hit with a crushing pressure, his grip on the mast slipping, leaving him stranded underwater, with no way of knowing where the surface is, no way of getting to any sort of safety, no way to escape the sirens in the waters with them-

he opens his eyes, only just ignoring the way the salt burns his eyes, and looks around, trying to find something, anything that could help. he catches movement from his peripheral, and as he turns, he finds himself looking at something big headed his way(a siren, his mind fills in, considering the fins and the tail), with something else swimming around just behind it. from the looks of things, he’s only just about as tall as it’s finger.

and dream has just enough time to think ‘oh, that’s bigger than i thought it would be,’ before the siren opens their mouth, not slowing down a beat, and he gets snatched inside.

immediately, his mind panics, especially since he’s still surrounded by water- but he’s given no time to adjust, as the siren immediately tilts its head back, and he’s only able to think ‘shit-’ before he’s swallowed down with a quick gulp.

all around him is a crushing sensation, forcing all the air out of his lungs, not letting him take a breath. it feels like an eternity before he’s squeezed tighter than before, only to get plopped into some sort of chamber. he takes a deep breath as soon as he’s able, trying to catch his bearings.

it takes a second of rest before everything fully sinks in.

he’s inside of a siren.

he was eaten, by a siren.

he was in it’s stomach.

he was gonna die he was gonna die he can’t die not yet please-

belatedly, he realizes puffy and skeppy are still out there, sapnap too. there’s no one else in here, they might’ve gotten away — or maybe the other siren has them, god he hopes it didn’t. he’s not sure being stranded out in the sea, in siren territory, is any better than just getting killed by one, but at least with the former, there’s a chance of survival.

him, though? there’s no escape. there’s no feasible way he could live through this, not when he’s in the belly of the beast. literally.

gods, puffy, sapnap, skeppy, please live, please get away. i couldn’t stand it if you died with me.

he felt the siren moving again, felt the walls crush him slightly, before suddenly, he saw something else fall into the stomach with him.

no, not something.

someone.

they were coughing, and instantly, he zeroed in on their long hair, once fluffy, now soaked.

no.... no, please prime, no........

“dad?” he croaked out, and he watched with a heartbroken expression as green eyes met blue in the soft light of the chamber.

“..hey....” puffy spoke softly, giving dream a wobbly smile.

immediately, he shot over to her, throwing his arms around her. she hug him back tight, as he rest his head in the crook of her neck. he was only just able to hold back his sobs, though he couldn’t stop his breath from hitching every other second.

“it’s okay, duckling,” she mumbled, resting her hand in his hair, scratching at his scalp in an attempt to calm him down. “it’s okay, it’s alright.” she kept muttering sweet nothings to him, as if that could help the situation any.

the two startled as something new happened, as their surroundings started to vibrate slightly. as he pulled away from the embrace, it only took him a moment to realize what it was.

purring. the motherfucker was purring.

before he could think any harder about that, the walls moved again, and someone else fell into the stomach with them.

he could tell immediately who it was, what with the bright blue hoodie.

“hey skeppy, welcome to hell.” puffy muttered sarcastically, causing dream to snort despite himself. even skeppy let out a good chuckle at that, and while it did sound strained, overall, the guy looked relatively calm about the situation.

“well, looks like the gang’s all here.” skeppy said, leaning back onto the walls.

“except for sapnap,” dream mumbled, bringing his knees to his chest. “do.. do you think he’s..” he stopped himself. god, he didn’t want to think about what might have happened.

“knowing him?” skeppy said. “he’s fine, no doubt about it.”

“if he hasn’t.. hasn’t drowned yet,” dream said, spitting out the words, “there’s still sirens about. there’s.. he..” he hugged his knees tighter, puffy reaching out, and rubbing circles on his back.

“there’s no way he drowned,” skeppy said, crossing his arms. “he wouldn’t let something like that bring him down, that would just be embarrassing.” he chuckled, as if having he was privy to a joke the other two weren’t. “seriously, if he let water be the thing to bring him down, i would drag him out of limbo just to make fun of him. i’d straight up just learn necromancy, and i’d never let him live it down. he’ll never know a day of peace.”

dream huffed out a laugh, puffy giving a snort herself.

a silence followed afterwards, skeppy trying to get more comfortable, while dream and puffy simply sat and waited. the purring hadn’t stopped, and.. purring? really? he wasn’t aware sirens could purr. prime, he bet it was satisfied at having been able to catch them as a meal. he bet it was enjoying their terror. well, maybe not skeppy’s, he didn’t seem all that scared. dream wasn’t even sure anything could faze the guy at this point. that in of itself scared dream, if only slightly.

he looked around at his surroundings out of boredom — or at least, what little there was. he fully realized that there was, in fact, a light source, if a bit dim — it came in the form of small little freckles of light, scattered all around the walls, giving off a red lighting, as if the walls really needed to be even redder. the light seemed to increase wherever they touched it, but only slightly.

it felt like maybe five minutes had passed, before puffy spoke up.

“where is sapnap? it didn’t take too long for- for the siren to catch us,” puffy said, “you’d think he would have joined us by now.”

“..well, uh. there was another siren,” skeppy pointed out.

“great,” dream snapped out, almost pouting, “so we don’t even get to die together as a whole crew, he gets to die alone.”

god, what was george gonna think? what was foolish going to think? will they ever know what happened to them? or were they just going to disappear from the world quietly, with only two people to wonder what had happened, never to find out.

prime, he hated this. they just had to go through that storm, they just had to go on this expedition in the first place. now, they were going to..

“wait- hold on,” skeppy said, sitting up. “who said anything about dying?”

dream stared at him blankly.

“we...... we’ve been eaten by a siren.” puffy said, staring at skeppy with the same look. “we’re in it’s stomach. skeppy, man, in what world does that not equal death?”

“do you see us dying, though?” skeppy said, as if they were the crazy ones.

“we’re gonna be- we’re gonna be digested, skeppy!” dream said, voice raised. “that’s not a quick death! and even if we aren’t, by some miracle, we’ll suffocate!”

“we won’t, though.”

“wh- how would you know that?!” dream threw his hands up.

“i know these guys.” skeppy said simply.

dream froze. he could feel puffy pause beside him.

“you.... you, know, these sirens..” dream deadpanned.

“yep.” skeppy said, popping the p.

dream paused, trying to take in the information.

skeppy.... skeppy knows sirens. and.. those sirens that he knew just.. happened to be around when they were almost killed by the storm.

i........

in.... in all honesty, part of him isn’t surprised. this sounds like a skeppy thing, just casually befriending man-eating beasts. like. okay then. this is happening now. this is fine.

“yeah.” dream says, exasperated. “yeah. sure. okay.”

“so.. we’re gonna be okay?” puffy asks cautiously.

“we’re fine, we’re in his brooding pouch — a second stomach, one for storing young hatchlings.” skeppy said, as if this was the most common of knowledge.

“..yeah. and, sapnap.. he’s in the other siren’s.. pouch?”

“he’s fine, without a doubt.” skeppy said.

dream’s shoulders relaxed unconsciously — he wasn’t even aware they were hunched. they.. if skeppy was right, they were gonna be fine. they were gonna be okay. they were gonna live.

god, he hoped this wasn’t one last prank. that would just be cruel, even for skeppy.

even as the thought comes across his mind, he mentally shakes it away — no, skeppy wouldn’t do that. he knows when to hold off on the jokes, when things are serious. he may not have a filter most of the time, but this would just be crossing a line.

so.. that meant skeppy really did know these sirens. dream briefly wondered why he never told anyone, but then he realized it wasn’t the most causal of topics to suddenly drop in a conversation. “hey guys, just so you know, i’m actually friends with two terrifying beasts that are known to take out entire flees of ships with little effort. also, we’re out of gapples.”

yeah. like that would have gone well.

not that this went any better, either.

well, he supposes that they would just have to trust these sirens, and hope that they wouldn’t suddenly turn on them, or that skeppy didn’t mistake some random siren as his friends.

god, he hopes sapnap is alright.

———————————

it feels like hours pass before something changes. dream had gotten used to the subtle swaying of the stomach, occasionally hearing purrs or faint siren chirps. the moment he felt it still, with only the slight churning of the walls, he was on edge.

he could hear the sirens talking to each other, though he could only assume that’s what it was, as he couldn’t understand the various trills and whistles that they made.

suddenly, as the chirps quieted down, the walls squeezed tight around them all. dream struggled in a panic, before finding himself in that crushing sensation from earlier. before he knew it, he was getting spit out into a hand — a giant hand, he found he was hardly bigger than one of it’s clawed fingers.

carefully, he found himself getting brought down to the ground — a dock, he realizes, one not too far from the town their crew resided in. the village the dock was from was abandoned, a ghost town. he never really understood why, but he supposes he doesn’t need to, all he needs to know is that no strangers would pop in unexpectedly, no one would panic at the sight of the large siren in front of him.

the first thing he notices about the siren is it’s eyes. a brown, almost red iris, with a light red sclera. it’s almost haunting, really, if it weren’t for the fact he could practically feel the kindness radiating from it’s eyes. he could feel part of his shoulders relaxing slightly despite himself.

it(they?) had red fins at the sides of their heads, as if those were their ears. and as his eyes trailed up, he could see.. horns? on the top of their head. half of their face was a void black, fading to a freckled peach. they had puffy brown hair, as well, and it didn’t even look wet, despite him knowing that they had to have been underwater recently, there’s no way it could have dried in the past few minutes. was a siren’s hair just like that?

before he knew it, the siren had coughed up his other two companions, one looking more disheveled and wary than the other. you’ll never guess who was who.

“hey bad!” skeppy grinned up at the siren. the siren- bad, he guesses(an odd name, sure, but he’s seen weirder), chuckled good naturedly at him.

“hello, geppy!” bad smiles softly at him, before turning turning to the other puffy and dream. “and hello, you two. i’ve heard a lot about you guys, and i’m so sorry our meeting had to go like this.”

“uh-” puffy stumbled. “it’s alright, and i do have to thank you for getting my crew out of that storm. despite the.. unconventional methods, to say the least.”

the siren winced. “sorry, sorry! i wasn’t thinking much when i first did it, i’m so used to doing it with skeppy, i didn’t think twice.”

dream ignored the look puffy gave skeppy(who had simply shrugged in response), and asked, “where is sapnap?”

at this, bad’s fin-ears went flat, and they gained an apprehensive look on their face.

dream paled.

“he- he isn’t dead, is he? prime, please, he can’t be-”

“no!” bad all but yelled, “nonono no! he’s fine, i promise!”

dream stared at the siren. “..but...?”

bad looked away briefly.

“just, give me a second.” they said, before letting out a low trill.

dream shared a look with puffy. even skeppy had an unreadable expression, glancing at the two briefly.

suddenly, something else emerged from the water. it was smaller, far smaller than bad was, with their torso being as tall as bad’s head. they had a blue-ish pattern on their face, their ears looking similar to shark fins. they had dark blue eyes, with black hair being held up by a white band-

..wait.

..wait a minute.

“s..sapnap?”

the- the siren in question winced. “..hey, dream.”

dream stared, trying to process everything that has happened in the last few hours.

“you’re.. you’re a siren.” dream said.

sapnap nodded, not bothering to talk.

“and.. you knew about this?” dream turned to skeppy.

“yep.” skeppy gave a thumbs up.

“i- okay. okay.” dream sighed, putting his head in his hands. “just- give me a second.”

so. sapnap was a siren. who.. could turn into a human, he guessed. alright. alright.

so his friend was a creature known to sink entire navies, known to kill thousands of sailors, all with little effort.

in all honesty, he was surprised skeppy wasn’t one, too.

......

briefly, he turned to skeppy. “are, are you also..?”

“nope,” skeppy said, popping the p. “‘oops, all human!’ here, folks.”

alright. ignoring whatever weird joke skeppy made.

one of his best friends is a siren.

does this.. really change anything?

he’s still sapnap, isn’t he?

he’s still the same hothead, still the same hunter he befriended.

so he can turn into an overgrown fish. that would just make their little manhunts all the more fun, wouldn’t it?

he’s still sapnap.

he’s still his friend.

he’s.. still staring down at them apprehensively.

like he’s worried that they wouldn’t accept him now that they know.

like he’s worried that dream wouldn’t accept him.

oh, not a chance in hell, you’d have to pry me off to get rid of me at this point.

“so, did you like, get turned into a siren a la vampire?” dream smiled up at him.

sapnap let out a startled laugh.

“i- what?” he asked, confused.

“you heard me,” dream grinned, “are you some sort of siren-vampire, or were you just born like this?”

“i was born like this, what are you even-”

“so we don’t have to worry about you getting burnt in the sun? no need to worry about random stakes impaling you?”

“dude, what are-”

“so there’s no point getting worked up about you getting forced to turn into a siren every full moon? no allergy to silver?”

“dream, that’s werewolves, what are you on right now-”

“what, i’m just listing reasonable worries!” dream laughed. “c’mon, you’re still part of the crew, we gotta know what we’re dealing with here, don’t want to accidentally kill you with garlic, of all things.”

dream expected a retort, but paused when he realized the siren wasn’t replying. he looked up, and saw sapnap looking at him with a vulnerable expression.

“i’m.. you still want me to be a part of the crew....?” sapnap asked, ears pinned back.

“of course, man! this-” dream gestured at sapnap, “this doesn’t change a thing! you’re still my friend, pandas.”

sapnap looked as if he was about ten seconds away from tearing up, but he still looked a bit wary, glancing somewhere behind him. dream turned, looking at his dad, who had been silent, watching the exchange unfold.

puffy stared back at sapnap, before stepping up to him.

“sapnap,” puffy started, “to me, it doesn’t matter what you are. i wouldn’t care if you were some world-killer, you’re a part of this crew. and, as long as you want to be, you will always have a place in this family.”

she looked up at bad as well. “this goes for you, too, if you’d like. you clearly know these two, and i’m sure they’d vouch for you. if you ever want to, you can join us in our crew. after all that happened, that’s about the least i could do to thank you.”

sapnap stared at her with a watery look in his eyes, while bad considered her.

“well, i have been told stories of all of you from these two.” bad said. “and, i have to say.. i wouldn’t be opposed to it.”

immediately, skeppy threw up his hands, letting out a woop. “HELL YEAH, BAD’S JOINING US FOR CRIMES!”

bad snorted, murmuring a quick, fond, “language”, as everyone else let out a chuckle.

informing everyone else(as in, two other people) about the.. developments would certainly be an event, but dream’s sure that things will go fine.

for now, though, he was content with just hanging around for a bit. george wasn’t expecting them back for at least a couple more days, he could wait for just a bit.

#mcyt g/t #mcyt gt #my art #my writing #tiny!dream #tiny!skeppy #tiny!puffy #giant!bad #sizeshifter!sapnap #shifter!sapnap #vore tw #a fishy situation au #the secret ending is that rocks fall on them and they all die the end /j #if you aren’t like two other people in the ss discord you will not understand this reference kfnfkdmdkdj #writing the banter was actually really fun;; usually i write stuff where the characters are strangers; #it was neat writing a scenario where most of the characters already know each other!! #i hope you enjoy this!!!! sorry it took so long; it was mainly the procrastination jdmdkdmdkdmdkdm

[honeypiehotchner]

Don’t You (Hotch x Fem!Reader) -- part two of Bye Bye, Baby

I love how this mini-series was totally impromptu but happened so fast. Gotta love my brain!

Loosely based on “Don’t You” by Taylor Swift! xx.

Summary: Aaron wants to talk. Do you?

Warnings: ANGST

Word Count: 2k this time oop

Bye Bye, Baby (Part One) || That’s When (Part Three) || Hotch Masterlist

Hey/I knew I’d run into you somewhere/It’s been a while

The text message from Aaron has sat glaring at you on your phone screen for the past hour.

Hotch (BAU) Sorry for hitting you with my cart earlier.

You don’t know what to make of it. It’s obviously an attempt to start up a conversation after four years, but why? Why, after all this time, does he think this is okay?

It’s 1 a.m. when you call Dannie.

“I would tell you to go to sleep, but I just got in bed, so I can’t talk.”

You chuckle quietly. “Better than me. I’m still on the couch.”

Dannie exhales. “Did Jules stay up late again?”

“No, no, she… She passed out around nine.”

Dannie sighs. “What’s wrong with you?”

“I saw Aaron today,” you blurt, quietly, not wanting to risk Juliet hearing even a whisper of this.

“Aaron?” Dannie asks. “Like...Juliet’s dad, Aaron? That one?”

“Yep,” you mutter, rubbing your forehead. “The one and only.”

“Where?”

“The grocery store,” you say. “Our carts bumped into each other. I wasn’t watching where I was going, so it was definitely my fault, but he texted me a while ago apologizing for it.”

“Woah, he texted you?”

“Unfortunately,” you murmur, hating that you feel tears pricking at your eyes. “I don’t know what to do.”

“Have you texted him back?”

“I don’t know if I want to.”

“I understand,” Dannie sighs. “Maybe just say it’s okay? Leave it short.”

“Yeah,” you nod, sniffling, wiping a tear away. “God, I’ve been fine all evening and it just...hit me when I saw his text.”

“You had to keep it together for Jules,” Dannie reminds you. “What did she say about him?”

“Oh, nothing,” you say. “She really wanted cookies, so she was focused on getting vegetables for dinner so she could have them.”

Dannie laughs. “That sounds like her. Did she eat all her vegetables?”

“Even the broccoli,” you grin. “So she got an extra cookie.”

The two of you laugh lightly, letting the silence settle.

“What do I do if he wants to get to know her?” You break the silence with the one question that’s been on your mind all night. “I mean, he’s a profiler. There’s no way he doesn’t know she’s his.”

“Okay, first of all, she’s yours,” Dannie says firmly. “Second, it’s all up to you. And her. If she wants to get to know him, then ultimately it’s up to you to decide if that’s a good idea and where would be safest for it to happen, if you want it to.”

“Thank you.”

“Don’t stress about it tonight,” she says quietly. “Text him back in the morning.”

“Okay.”

“Want to surprise Jules with brunch tomorrow?”

You smile almost immediately. “Of course.”

+++

You wake from a restless sleep to Juliet climbing into bed with you.

“Good morning, munchkin,” you whisper, kissing her forehead. She’s still sleepy and will probably sleep for another hour in your arms, but you wouldn’t trade it for the world.

As expected, Juliet falls fast asleep with her head on your chest. While she’s snoring softly, you grab your phone and text Dannie about brunch. And that’s when you’re reminded of Aaron’s text.

Quickly, before you can think twice, you reply. It’s okay.

And you move on to text Dannie, letting her know you’re awake and so is Juliet. After making plans to meet for brunch in an hour and a half, you lightly shake Juliet awake.

“Psst, munchkin,” you murmur. “Wanna have brunch with Dannie?”

Juliet pops her head up almost instantly. “Really?”

“Really really,” you nod.

She grins wide and your chest aches for a moment. She’s always had his smile, but you never realized how much it’s his smile until today.

Juliet scrambles off your bed to get dressed, and you take a deep breath before getting up, too.

+++

The entire day passes without a reply from Aaron. You don’t know what to make of it, but you do your best to ignore it.

Thoughts of him keep you awake almost all night, so by the next morning, you’re dying to get your coffee before you walk into work.

You drop Juliet off at daycare, then park your car at work, with somehow enough time to spare to walk to your favorite coffee shop before clocking in.

You spot Aaron as soon as you walk in.

“You better not be following me around,” you mutter as you stand in line behind him.

He spins around, his face softening when he recognizes you. “Hi. I’m not trying to, I promise.”

You nod slowly.

Don’t you/Don’t you smile at me and ask me how I’ve been

“How are you?” He asks hesitantly, hands stuffed in his pockets.

“Good,” you reply. “You?”

“Good,” he pauses. “Busy.”

“Me too.”

The awkward small talk is ended by the line moving forward, putting Aaron at the front. He orders his usual, and steps aside. You order your usual, with a pastry, too, as a sort of condolences gift to yourself for the bullshit you’re enduring.

When you step to the side to wait, Aaron tries again.

“Sorry again for hitting you in the store with my cart,” he says. “I wasn’t paying attention.”

“It’s okay,” you say, keeping your eyes away from his. “In your defense, I wasn’t paying attention either.”

He chuckles quietly and the sound sends a dagger right to your heart.

When his coffee is ready, he grabs it, and you internally beg him to leave without another word. But he doesn’t.

Sometimes I really wish I could hate you/I’ve tried, but that’s just something I can’t do

“This is probably too forward of me, but—”

Your coffee is up.

You step forward to grab it, and damn you, you look at him to ask him to continue.

“Can we talk?” Aaron finishes.

“Right now?” You question, following him to the door. He holds it open for you and you hate that you almost smile. “I have to get to work.”

“Me too,” he says, stopping on the sidewalk with you. “We could get dinner tonight.”

“I’ll think about it.”

“Okay,” he nods. “No pressure. Just text me if you want to.”

“Okay,” you exhale shakily. “See you.”

You turn on your heel and nearly sprint down the sidewalk, chest heaving and tears welling in your eyes.

+++

“What do you want to do?” Dannie asks.

You met her for lunch to discuss your encounter with Aaron this morning, and so far you still don’t know what the hell you’re going to do.

“I want to tell him to leave me alone and never come near me again,” you blurt, but then you sigh. “I don’t mean that.”

Dannie smiles sadly. “I know.”

You don’t/You don’t know how much I feel I still love you

“I think I want to talk to him, but...I don’t know, I’m scared. I don’t think I can do a dinner. I’m sick to my stomach just thinking about this and I mean...I hate that I still love him. After all this I can’t even hate him.”

“It’s hard to hate someone you love.”

“Yeah,” you sigh. “Wanna help me text him?”

“Of course.”

After some trial and error, you and Dannie settle on this message.

Hey. I’d like to talk, but not dinner. What about a walk instead?

Aaron replies quickly.

Hotch (BAU) That’s perfect. Where is best?

+++

The park you chose is, regrettably, the one where you and Aaron had your first date.

In your defense, it’s closest and safest. And quiet.

Aaron doesn’t seem to mind the location, though, when he walks toward you. You’re sitting on a park bench, one that must be new because you don’t remember it.

As he gets closer, you see he has two cups of coffee in hand.

“I got your usual,” he says softly. “If you want.”

“Thank you,” you murmur, taking it from him, careful not to let your fingers touch.

Hesitantly, he sits next to you.

The two of you sit in silence for a while. You can’t bring yourself to say anything, and apparently, neither can he.

After too long, though, you break the silence. “Ready to walk?”

“Sure,” he replies, standing with you.

You venture down the trail, grateful that you changed into your sneakers before coming. It takes another few moments before the silence is broken -- by Aaron this time.

“Is she mine?”

You sigh heavily. You should’ve known he’d ask that first.

“Technically, Juliet is mine,” you reply. “But you are the father, if that’s what you’re asking.” You pause. “You’re the only one I was with, so there’s no doubt.”

“I wasn’t worried about that,” he says quietly. You can tell he’s looking at you, but you don’t look at him. “Why didn’t you tell me?”

“I tried,” you admit. “I called three times. I got your voicemail.”

Once: When you decided officially to keep the baby. You were three months pregnant. You had almost thought he picked up when the line clicked, and then you heard his voicemail. You hung up and took a bath instead, phone forgotten in the living room.

Twice: Dannie was beside you. You were seven months then. You had caved and asked if it was a boy or girl. After hearing it was a girl, a part of you desperately wanted to tell Aaron. You remembered him saying he always wanted a baby girl. Your heart still ached from when he broke it, but you wanted to tell him. You got his voicemail.

The third time: You had just given birth. You named her Juliet. You wanted to tell Aaron. You wanted to know if he should be on the birth certificate. You wanted to tell him you had a baby girl. When he didn’t answer, the nurse gave you a sad smile, and left the line blank. Dannie held Juliet for a while so you could cry.

“You never left a message,” he replies, sounding offended.

“Did you really want me to break the news in a voicemail?”

“No,” he shakes his head. “But you could’ve said it was something important. I would’ve returned your call.”

“I called three times,” you remind him. “You’re a fucking profiler, Aaron. You think three calls meant it was unimportant?” You pause, grounding yourself. “I figured you were out on a case. I don’t blame you for that. I understand, I’ve been there. But after calling three times and not getting a single reply, I figured it was useless. I didn’t have the time or energy to worry about it anymore. I had a newborn to take care of.”

He’s silent for a while.

“How is she?”

“She’s fine. She’s with her Godmother. Probably watching Frozen.”

“That’s good.”

You can’t do this anymore. “If that’s all you wanted to ask, then I need to get going. No offense, but I really don’t have the time for small talk.”

“I understand, but…” He stops walking, staring down at his feet before locking eyes with you. “Would you— Would you be willing to give me a second chance?”

Don’t you/Don’t you say that you miss me if you don’t want me again

“Why are you doing this?” You ask, angry tears pricking your eyes. “Why?”

“I’d like to be a part of Juliet’s life. And yours. If you’ll let me.”

“I’ll ask her,” you reply. “But you can be a part of her life without being a part of mine.”

“You know that’s not true,” he says. “You chose this park for a reason today.”

“No, I chose it because it’s close,” you hiss. “Don’t you dare profile me. Don’t you dare.”

“I’m sorry,” he says, and for a second you think he might have tears in his eyes, too. “I’m sorry, you’re right, that was uncalled for.”

“Thank you,” you murmur. “I really do need to go.”

“Can I at least walk you to your car?”

After a moment of thought, you nod. “Sure.”

My heart knows what the truth is/I swore I wouldn’t do this

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