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runawrites-blog · 6 months

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Care (Boba Fett x Reader)

Summary: Five Times Boba Fett acted exasperated with your affection and care for him. And the One Time he finally admitted how much he actually appreciates it. (Gender Neutral Reader) Word Count: 3,662 Warnings: Emotional Hurt/Comfort, Mild Discussions of Injuries, Implied SMUT, Crying, Nightmares, Playful Bantering/Insults, No Y/N, Petnames (Mesh'la, Cyar'ika) Author's Note: There are no real indicators as to WHEN this takes place though it is implied to be during the original trilogy and Boba's bounty hunting days. This is a 5+1 Fiction because I love that concept as you can probably tell if you've ever been on my AO3 account. Crossposted on AO3: https://archiveofourown.org/works/36655423

---

The rain pouring on the Slave I had not lessened one bit and you looked out the cockpit’s windows periodically, pausing in your repairs to check if it had stopped but for the past few hours it had kept strong. You never minded the rain; it was soothing and reminded you of your childhood growing up on a rainy forested planet. The thing that made you wish for it to stop was the fact that Boba was outside, hunting a bounty, in the pouring rain.

The two of you had been lovers for a while now, so really it was natural that you worried when he was out all day in the rain. You knew he was sometimes exasperated with your care, worry and affection but you also knew that deep down, he didn’t mind it as much as he pretended to – not if the smile that broke through his annoyance or the way he reciprocated your love were any indicators.

As if on cue, you heard the loading dock open and stilled in your movements. But you knew the rule Boba had put up to not go down while he was bringing in bounties until he told you they were frozen. When he was not bringing anyone in, you were quick to go down and greet him but you knew the rule was for your own protection so you stayed back in the cockpit, waiting for him.

And when he finally came he almost gasped at how bad he looked. He was drenched, probably freezing and he had quite a few wounds that you could see even though he was still in his armour. Quickly, you approached and despite his assurance that he was fine, he listened to you when you ordered him to sit in the captain’s seat and let you examine him.

There was a deep wound in his upper thigh, luckily not near any major arteries and a few cuts and stabs along his upper body. Gently, you took off Boba’s helmet finding his face to be slightly bruised before moving on to help him take the armour off.

“I’ll treat your wounds now. Don’t talk back to me.”

Boba just rolled his eyes but let you go ahead. And soon enough, you had put bacta on most of the bruises and stab wounds. It took you a bit to treat the wound on his thigh but eventually, you managed to disinfect it and put a tight bandage around it to stop any bleeding until the bacta you’d put on it had healed it up. Then you ushered Boba to his cot, ignoring his annoyed remarks about being fine.

You knew he was in pain because as soon as he sat down on the cot, he exhaled in relief at being able to rest. Frowning in worry you quickly wrapped a blanket around him and sat down beside his body, reaching out to rub his arms a little and warm him up.

“Mesh’la, stop worrying.” He chastised softly, no real annoyance behind his words. “I’m going to be fine. I’ve dealt with worse.”

“We should rest. Is the bounty secured?”

“Yes, he’s frozen.” Boba explained off-handedly and then leaned his head against yours before sighing quietly. “Thank you for helping me treat my wounds.”

“It’s no big deal. I’m glad we still had some bacta left. We might need to get some more soon, though.” You said before putting on a softer voice. “But you know what else could heal you right up apart from the bacta?”

“What?”

“My love for you!”

“You are unbearable.” Boba groaned but you could see the small smile on his lips and you knew you had won, so you just leaned in to press a kiss to his cheek.

“Then I’m glad you manage to bear me because I love being with you.”

---

II.

“Kaysh mirsh solus!”

You barely heard Boba’s shouting over the ringing in your ears. But you could see him hurrying over to you. The smoke peeling out from under the door made you cough, doubling over and supporting yourself against a wall. Boba had made his way over by now, hands coming to rest on your arms, helping you stay upright. You were thankful for the support even if he kept murmuring Mando’a curses to himself as he looked your body over. Swallowing, you took a deep breath and then put on a comforting smile, trying to calm him down.

“Did-- did you just call me an idiot?”

“If you translate it literally, then no I didn’t.”

“Saying that-- that my brain cells are lonely is the-- is the same!”

“Well, they must be if you thought using your own body to keep that door closed while a bomb went off in the room behind it was a good idea!”

He was snapping at you but you could tell that his words lacked any real anger. You had known him for long enough to realise that he was not angry with you but rather worried – he was just not as great at showing it in any other way than yelling. The way his hands tightened on your arms cemented that view. He was worried and you quickly deiced to reassure him.

“Boba, I’ll be alright. I was wearing protective armour and it wasn’t even a big bomb.” You ground out, eyeing him. “I couldn’t find anything to barricade the door with in time and I was worried you-- that you would get hurt.”

“Don’t you ever do that again.” He said sternly. “Don’t you ever endanger yourself for me again, you hear me?”

“Can’t promise anything.”

“You’ll be the death of me, Cyar’ika.” He grumbled and you knew he threw the pet name in to calm you down. “Now come with me. I need to check you for injuries.”

“Thank you.”

Boba sighed and took your arm, draping it over his shoulder to support you. “Getting this close to a bomb? Why would you do that?”

“I mean, you’re the bomb and I want to be close to you, as well.”

“I’ll let you walk back to the ship by yourself. Don’t test me.”

---

III.

You already knew that the second Boba laid his eyes on you, he would freak out but you still entered the cockpit, holding up the bag in your hand to indicate that you’d brought back what he’d asked you to get. Boba looked up from whatever he’d been fixing on the console and his face dropped when he saw the state you were in.

“What happened to you?”

You met Boba’s eyes for a few seconds before looking down and eyeing the bloody state of your armour. It was simple battle armour, strong and sturdy but nowhere near as durable as his – and you had noticed that during this fight. Slowly, you made your way to the pilot’s seat of Slave I and let yourself fall into it, groaning at the pain searing through your body.

“Will you answer my kriffing question?”

“I’m fine.”

Boba’s eyes narrowed at your words and he shook his head, abandoning the repairs he had been occupied with to approach you and kneel down in front of the pilot’s seat. “That is not what I asked. You went out to get supplies. How can you come back bloody and bruised from a supply run?”

“You come back like that when you meet the wrong people on the way back.” You huffed and shook your head. “Some kriffing idiots who thought I was easy prey because they hadn’t even seen the weapons I was carrying.”

“If you were armed then why are you so beaten up?”

Sitting back up and biting back a groan at how it pained your wounds, you leaned down to put a hand on Boba’s cheek. “Don’t worry about me. They simply took me by surprise and got a few hits in before I managed to reach for my weapon. That’s just what I get for straying from the market at a place like this.”

That got you an exasperated noise from Boba who shook his head and took your hand from his cheek, holding it in his own. “Then why did you stray from the market?”

“I had to get the bacta.” You shrugged before sighing softly. “And then I strayed even further because I saw a stand selling those sweets you mentioned eating as a child and-- I guess, I just wanted to do something nice for you.”

“Cyar’ika, you don’t have to for something so insignificant.”

“You told me about how your father used to bring them back for you sometimes.” You said softly, shaking your head. “I wanted you to have something nice for once!”

Boba sighed once more, shaking his head before getting up. “You stay put and I get the medical kit, alright?”

You watched him stand up to leave and quickly reached out for his arm. “Wait.”

“What is it?”

With a small smirk, you held up one of your hands, balled to a fist before opening it and revealing some of the sweets to him. Boba looked at your hand and then back at you before shaking his head.

“And you still got the sweets.” He dead-panned. “You are a resilient one.”

“I had to stray from the market to get the bacta anyway, so I figured wandering off a bit more would be fine.” You smiled and looked up at him. “Take them.”

“For how badly you were beaten by those attackers, you should have them.” He waved you off. “I’ll be right back.”

“I don’t need the sweets.” You said and leaned back, a wide grin spreading across your face as you watched him walk to the door. “I have you and you’re sweet enough.”

It was amusing how fast his head whipped around at that and how much he glared at you, despite the colour rising to his cheeks. “You be quiet or you can get the medical kit on your own.”

“Sorry!”

“You better be.”

“I really am but you are too sweet to not say it.”

“Okay, you can get it yourself!”

---

IV.

“Stay with me.”

Boba sighed in exasperation but lay back down in bed next to you, abandoning his previous plans of putting his clothes back on in favour of staying by your side for a while longer. You smiled at that, reaching up to gently stroke his face as you watched him get comfortable again.

It had been a while since you had seen Boba. He had been out hunting down a bounty and you had been stuck without him. So when he came back, the two of you had obviously been all over each other when he’d gotten done freezing the bounty. He’d taken his time with you, lavishing you with care and attention, yet you still wanted him to stay by your side a little longer. Fortunately, he seemed to be feeling indulgent so you quickly wrapped yourself around his body to keep him close.

“You are too good to me.”

“I sure am.” Boba said in slight amusement, leaning his nose against your hair. “And I doubt I will be able to get away from you anytime soon with how tightly you’re holding onto me.”

“You’re stronger than me.” You teased, gently tracing shapes across his chest. “You could leave if you really wanted to. But I think you like being here with me, too.”

“I suppose you’re right.” Boba shrugged nonchalantly. “I don’t mind staying with you a while longer. Perhaps I’m feeling indulgent today because we haven’t seen each other for a while.”

Smiling at that, you inched even closer to Boba, pulling yourself to his body with the leg thrown over his tighs. “Did you miss me?”

“Careful, Princess.” He said warningly, clearly not appreciating your teasing but then he looked down at you and sighed softly. “But yes, I did.”

“I missed you, too.” You whispered softly before pushing yourself up to look at him with a smile. “You know what I missed about you?”

“Please don’t go on a terribly sweet rant about--”

“Oh, but I will.” You said teasingly, running your finger up and down his chest. “I missed your pretty eyes and your beautiful smile. And I definitely missed your strong arms, wrapped around me tightly, your heartbeat and body heat. For weeks I’ve longed to hear your beautiful laugh again, look into your eyes and--”

“Mesh’la, that’s quite enough.”

You eyed him, noting the way he averted his eyes as his cheeks flushed and just smirked a little before going back to lavishing him with affection. “You take such good care of me; make me feel so special. I want to make you feel special, too. You deserve so much affection. I love you so much and--”

Boba’s movements made you stop and you basically had to throw yourself back onto his chest to keep him from rising from the berth. He raised an eyebrow at you, a hand coming around your waist to keep you from falling.

“Will you quit it?”

“Will you leave if I don’t?”

“Yes.”

“Then I guess I’ll have no other choice but to quit.” You sighed in fake misery, looking back up at him before smiling teasingly. “Because I cannot imagine not having my strong, beautiful, powerful--”

“I’m leaving.”

“No, I’ll be quiet!”

---

“Mesh’la, will you stop sighing so sadly?”

A small smirk made its way to your lip at Boba’s comment and you put down the pair of scissors you’d been holding. You were sitting on the berth, legs hanging off the side with Boba between them, leaning his back against you while you got ready to cut his hair. And both of you knew very well how much you loved his curls. You loved running your fingers through it, playing with it and holding onto it during more intimate moments but Boba did cut it every now and again -- much to your dismay.

“But I’ll miss your hair, love.”

“I don’t want you to cut all of it off.” Boba rolled his eyes at that, leaning his head back to look at you. “I need it cut. It’s getting in the way. I just need it short enough so it won’t get in the way.”

“I’ll braid it for you so it won’t get in the way.”

Before he could even get the chance to answer you had already begun to braid his hair, starting high on his head and gently carding your fingers through his locks whenever you took a new strand. Boba quieted down at your ministrations, slowly leaning into your hands and closing his eyes as you kept on braiding his hair along his head and down to his neck. When you were done, you kept your hands on his head, gently massaging his scalp and Boba blinked his eyes back open to look at you.

“It looks really pretty, Bo.”

“I will need you to cut it anyway.” Boba insisted, chuckling low in his chest as you frowned at him again upon hearing those words. “Just a little shorter, Mesh’la.”

“But you look so pretty with your hair long.”

“Stop calling me pretty. I’m not pretty.”

“But you are.” You insisted, leaning down to kiss his lips briefly. “And your hair is so pretty when it’s long. Not that you’re not absolutely mesmerising when it’s short, as well. But I just love to run my fingers through your beautiful hair.”

“If you keep calling me pretty I’ll cut all of it off.”

You knew it was a joke but you quickly shook your head anyway, leaning down to kiss him once more, silencing him. “Fine, I’ll cut it but not too short.”

“Deal.”

---

+I.

It was Boba’s sharp gasp that awoke you and you turned onto your back, blinking into the darkness around you to find him sitting up in bed, chest heaving and body shaking. Quickly, you pushed yourself onto your elbows to check on him.

“Boba, what’s wrong?”

You hoped it was just a weird noise that had awoken him or the noises of the storm outside. But the tears glistening on his cheeks in the darkness and the way he was obviously trying to keep himself from sobbing told you otherwise. Something like a storm or an issue with the ship wouldn’t scare him like that. You knew exactly what it was. It was a nightmare – or more precisely his traumatic past coming back to haunt him in his dreams. They happened every once in a while and you always tried your best to help, though he didn’t make it easy for you to do so.

Boba had always been good at playing these things off, turning away from you and pretending he didn’t feel as hurt and terrified by them as he really did. But over your time as his partner, you’d learned that these nightmares scared and upset him more than he ever let on. It was no different tonight as he remained silent, bringing a hand up to grasp at the shirt he was wearing and trying to calm his breathing. You watched as Boba slowly turned away from you and took shuddering breath after shuddering breath without any success at calming himself down.

Slowly you sat up and then gently, as not to startle him, brought a hand to his shoulder. At the feel of your skin against his, the sobs he’d tried hard to keep at bay got worse and he gasped for breath as they shook his body. Your heart broke for him and you moved even closer before you brought your arms around him, holding him to your body.

“Boba, can you try and calm your breathing for me?” You asked softly, trying to shift the focus away from his tears. You knew how much he loathed when you saw him cry so you didn’t want to put any focus on that for the time being. “It’s understandable to be upset but you need to breathe. Can you try?”

You were unsure if he had even heard you but then Boba grabbed your hand and nodded before taking a deep shuddering breath. Holding him as tightly as possible, you inched closer, fingers interlacing with his and breathing deeply, trying to let your breath guide him. It took a while but eventually, Boba managed to calm down, his breath coming out slower now, much more controlled than before, and his sobbing had stopped. And though you could still feel the tremors of his body, saw the tears still running down his face he was breathing much more evenly and that was a small victory in itself.

“Good. You’re doing so good.” You whispered, gently running your hands across his chest and stomach as you leaned up to press a soft kiss to the back of his neck. “I’ve got you and I’m not going anywhere. I am staying right here, right by your side for as long as you need me to.”

After spending such a long time with Boba you knew that when you were comforting him what he needed weren’t promises that everything would be fine – it was the reassurance that even if things wouldn’t be alright, that you would be there. So that was what you always promised him. You promised him to be there and to stay by his side. Boba always seemed to deeply appreciate those promises and he did so this time as well, eventually turning around to face you. You could see he was trying to compose himself, so you just reached up to cup his cheek and lean your forehead against his.

“It’s alright to be upset, you know? I won’t think any less of you.”

“I am so weak.”

“You’re not weak.” You whispered gently, closing your eyes and stroking his cheek. “You are one of the strongest people I know. You’ve withstood so much pain and hurt. Crying because of all that pain is not weak. I will never think of you as weak.”

“I dreamed of my father.”

You sighed sadly at that, knowing exactly what those dreams usually entailed. They were usually full of memories of his father leaving, visions of him dying and Boba desperately trying to get to him, yet never succeeding. Knowing how much those dreams hurt Boba, you inched even closer until you were in his lap before pulling him into a tight embrace, running your fingers up and down his back.

“Do you want to talk about it?”

As expected Boba shook his head. Then he dropped his head so he could bury his face at your neck, taking another steadying breath. Sighing sadly, you just continued to hold him tightly as you began to run your fingers through his hair.

“Thank you, Cyar’ika.” He eventually whispered, grabbing at your shirt. “I rarely tell you but-- but I really appreciate that you’re this caring and affectionate, no matter how I-- how exasperated I seem. You do so much for me.”

“I know that you appreciate me.” You soothed, running your fingers through his locks. “If I didn’t feel appreciated by you then I would leave. But I won’t because I love you and I know you love me in return – I can tell that you do.”

“Really? I feel like such a jerk sometimes.”

“You sure can be, but I know that underneath all the eye-rolling and grumbling you really do care about me. That’s all I need.” You said in earnest, meaning every word you said. “You protect me, care for me and love me. That is enough.”

“Is that truly enough?”

“It is.” You whispered, pressing a kiss to his head and pulling him closer. “Do you think you can try and get back to sleep? I’ll be right here, I promise.”

“Thank you, Cyar’ika, for everything.”

“There is no reason to thank me.”

“There is.”

#star wars #star wars x reader #boba fett #boba fett x reader #boba fett imagine #fanfiction #writing #textpost #reader insert

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aquietwritingcorner · 3 months

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Truth Serum

Title: Truth Serum Day: Febuwhump 2024 Day 20 Prompt: Truth Serum Fandom: TMNT 2003 Word Count: 2349 Author: aquietwritingcorner/realitybreakgirl Rating: T Characters: Leonardo, Raphael, Donatello, Michelangelo, Master Splinter Warning: NA Summary: When Leonardo gets a dose of truth serum, a few things he thought he had dealt with come back out into the open. Fortunately, his family is, as always, there for him. Notes: ff.net || AO3

____________________________

Truth Serum

Leonardo was not sure what Hun had injected him with, but he was sure that whatever it was, it wasn’t a good thing. When someone who had captured you injected you with something, it was never a good thing. His brothers, come to rescue him, had not quite been in time to stop it. Instead, they had rushed to free him and to whisk him away out of there before the effects of whatever it was could make themselves known.

Leo had, of course, fought as soon as he was able, and he had been doing alright. At least, he had been doing alright until a few minutes ago. He was starting to feel unfocused, and his thoughts were harder to keep a hold of. It had to have been evident, because they stopped, sitting him down on a rooftop, while Don looked over him.

“You alright, Leo?” he asked. “Are you feeling anything unusual?”

“I feel kind of lightheaded and off balance,” Leo said, almost before he realized what he was saying. “And unfocused."

For a fraction of a second, everyone paused, including Leo himself. He hadn’t meant to say that.

“You’re admitting it?” Mikey said.

Leo blinked. “Apparently.”

Don frowned. “If you’re feeling bad enough to admit to it without me having get past layers of ‘I’m fine’ first, then we probably need to get you back to the lair. Think you can make it?”

“I should be able to,” Leo said. “And besides, it would probably be a good idea to get out of here.” He glanced back in the direction that they had come from. “We’re still pretty close to the warehouse.

“You’re right about that,” Don said. “Besides, I want to analyze whatever this was that he gave you.”

“Alright, let’s get moving then,” Raph said, reaching down to help Leo up.

Although the trip back to the lair was quick, Leo’s symptoms only grew worse. His brothers sat him on the couch, where he leaned his head back, trying to stop the dizziness and fog that was swirling around in his brain. It didn’t take long for Splinter to come out to check on him, and Leo could hear the worry in his voice.

“My son? How are you feeling?”

“Terrible,” Leo said, before he could stop himself. “I’m dizzy and my head feels foggy. My tongue feels dry, and my arms and legs feel heavy. It’s hard to focus.”

He could hear shifting steps around him. “Leo? Can you open your eyes for me?” Don said. “I just want to check your pupils.”

Leo nodded. “Yeah, I can do that.”

Leo opened his eyes and let Don do whatever else he wanted to do, including taking some blood samples. He drank the water he was given and did whatever else was requested of him. And then, finally, when Don’s tests were over and he had things running, the question was asked.

“Leo, what happened?”

Despite the brain fog he was feeling, Leo started talking. He recounted how the Purple Dragons had gotten the drop on him during the fight, taking him back to the warehouse, where they restrained him, and Hun injected him with whatever it was he was injected with.

“…I’m just glad it was me and not one of you,” he finished up with, looking at his brothers.

Raph’s head shot up. “What? What do you mean by that?” he asked.

Leo blinked at him. “I mean it was clear that they were targeting us. They wanted one of us. And I’m glad that it was me and not one of you that they ended up getting. Besides, I deserved it.”

His family was staring at him, aghast.

Wait—what had he said?

“Why would you say that?” Mikey burst out.

“Because it’s true,” Leo said, before he could stop himself.

“Hang on,” Don said, cutting in before Raph could. “I mean, I understand not wanting us to get hurt, but—is that the only reason you think that?”

“No, not at all,” Leo said with a shake of his head. Why couldn’t he stop talking? He was laying out his thought process for all of them, and it didn’t feel like he could top himself “I mean, yes, that’s part of it, but—Don, you’re the one that can figure this kind of thing out. It’s better for it not to happen to you. Mikey, you’re the most skilled of us. If something happens and you really focus in, you can easily take point with better results than the rest of is. Raph, you’re stronger than me, and your protective drive is strong. You’d fight to the last for someone. If the three of you are together, then you can break through almost anything.”

The looks on his family’s faces were less than reassuring.

“That holds some amount of logic,” Don said carefully, “and I think you’re selling yourself short, but I’m more concerned with the last part of what you said earlier. What do you mean that you deserved it?”

“I mean that I deserved it,” Leo said, feeling even a little more out of sorts. He leaned forward a little, rubbing at his head. Why were they pushing this? Didn’t they understand? “I’m the leader. I’m responsible for all of you. And if I lead us into a trap or an ambush, then your safety is on me. If you get hurt, it’s on me. If you’re injured or captured or injected, it’s on me. I’m responsible.”

“That’s not true,” Mikey said, clearly upset. “You can’t be responsible for us all of the time! We do stupid things on our own!”

“It is true, Mikey,” Leo insisted, pushing the point further. It felt important for them to understand. “I’m the eldest and I’m the leader.”

“Nuh-uh,” Raph said, standing up and stalking towards Leo. “No. No way, Leo. You don’t get to get off that easy—”

“Easy?!” Leo exclaimed. They didn’t understand. Leo stood, too, meeting Raph head on. “Easy? What makes you think any of this is easy? Do you know what it’s like, Raphael?” he demanded. “Do you know what it’s like to hold your family’s lives in your hands every time you go out? Do you know what’s it’s like to feel responsible for that?”

Leo took a step towards Raph. “Every day when we go out, the entire world is against us! At any moment something could happen! We could get attacked by an enemy we know! We could get swept up in something we can’t control! A mob of people could find us! Someone with a sniper rifle could just take us down! And I have to be ready for that! I have to be prepared! I have to have a plan and know how to jump into action!”

He moved a step closer. “Do you know what happens if I don’t? If I’m not ready? Do you? When I’m not ready, you get hurt. I wasn’t ready, and April’s shop burned down, and the Shredder nearly killed us all! I wasn’t ready and Master Splinter was hurt so badly the Utroms had to put him in healing chamber! I wasn’t ready and we nearly got killed in an intergalactic war! I wasn’t ready and I got us caught up in a crime-power struggle! I wasn’t ready and giant wasps almost took us out! I wasn’t ready and I was poisoned, and the universe nearly ripped apart! I wasn’t ready and Don got captured and tortured by Triceritons! I wasn’t ready and we were nearly dissected by Bishop! I wasn’t ready and we were thrown across the multiverse! I wasn’t ready and we almost died on Shredder’s ship! I wasn’t ready and all of you almost died when I was gone! I wasn’t ready and Donnie got double mutated! I wasn’t ready and I almost died from using a sword that wasn’t mine! I wasn’t ready and we did all die! I wasn’t ready and we were almost turned into mindless aliens! I wasn’t ready and Master Splinter almost died! I wasn’t ready and April and Casey’s wedding was attacked, and everyone almost died!”

He moved closer to Raph, his chest heaving, air becoming harder to take in, but he still reached up and pushed Raph back just a little. “When I’m not ready, it can cost you all your lives!” He took in as deep a breath as he could manage, his head spinning as the words just slipped out of him. “So yes! When these things happen, I deserve it! Because it means that I failed all of you, that I wasn’t good enough, and that it’s my fault!”

Suddenly, there were arms around him, holding him tight, almost crushing him. Leo let in a sharp breath as he realized it was Raph.

“It ain’t your fault,” Raph said, his voice low, calm, but steady. “You can’t control what life throws at us. You can’t control all of that. Yeah, you’re responsible for us as a leader, but we’re responsible for each other as a family.”

“You can’t control the future,” Don said, and Leo felt his brother’s hand on his shoulder. “You can try to stop what you know is coming, try to prevent it, but in the end, there’s always going to be other factors that lead to other situations. You can’t be responsible for that.” Don’s head squeezed his shoulder. “I know that all too well.”

“You’re not all knowing.” He felt Mikey’s hand come up on his other shoulder. “And we don’t expect you to be. You’re our brother, Leo, and you don’t deserve these things any more than we do.”

Leo was having trouble seeing even Raph’s shoulder clearly, and it took him a moment to realize that it was because there were tears in his eyes and that he was crying. A gentle paw reached up and wiped the tears away. Leo squeezed his eyes shut.

“Oh, my son,” he heard his father say. “I never meant for you to carry such a heavy burden. I am truly, truly sorry.”

Leo couldn’t help it anymore. Wrapped tightly in his strongest brother’s arms, he wept.

Things were a bit of a blur after that. At some point he finished crying, but he felt more than drained. The embarrassment over his outburst kicked in, and he wanted nothing more than to go hide in his room. Unfortunately, Don wasn’t about to allow that, not with an unknown substance running through him, and the best Leo could do was cover himself with a blanket on the couch. He still found himself answering questions far too easily, but considering how tired he was, he wasn’t too surprised. Eventually, he fell asleep, dozing while leaning on Raph.

A few hours later, he woke to Don shaking him awake.

“Mm, Don? What is it?” he asked.

“An explanation to everything,” Don said, kneeling down in front of Leo. “Here—let me give you this while I talk.”

He held out a needle and Leo made a face.

“I’d rather not,” he said.

“I know,” Don said. “Just like I know you’re telling me the truth right now.”

“Uh, what are you talking about?” Mikey asked.

Don took Leo’s arm and prepped it for the shot anyway, even as the family listened in. “I finished analyzing what was in that syringe,” Don said. “And in layman’s terms, it was a very powerful truth serum.”

“A truth serum?” Raph repeated.

Don nodded and put a piece of gauze over where he had injected Leo, pulling out some bandages to wrap it up. “Yep. Different than many other truth serums, but a truth serum, nonetheless. With just a little pushing, Leo wouldn’t have been able to help himself and would have answered any question Hun would have asked him.”

“That explains Leonardo’s outburst earlier,” Splinter said. “He was under the influence of this truth serum.”

Don nodded. “And I just gave him something to counteract it.” He looked up at Leo. “Of course, what you said is still out there, and, knowing this, it’s something that you believe to be true. There’s no denying that.” He gave Leo’s knee a squeeze. “But we can work through that together.”

Leo was still feeling a bit foggy headed, but he nodded. “I know,” he said. “I thought I had dealt with it, but, well…”

“Sometimes, things linger, my son,” Splinter said. “We can use our minds and our reason to work through them, but they still linger and catch us when we are unaware.” He smiled at Leo. “Do not worry, Leonardo. We are all still with you.”

Leo let out a breath and leaned back. “Well at least there’s a reason for it,” he said. “And yeah. We can work through it all together.”

Raph nudged him. “You bet we will,” he said.

“So… how long will this thing take to work?” Mikey asked.

“Somewhere around fifteen minutes, maybe longer,” Don said.

Mikey grinned. “In that case—Hey, Leo, where’s your hidden stash of sweets.”

“Behind a false panel I figured out how to put in my desk drawer,” Leo answered automatically, before realizing what he’d said. “Wait—no!”

“Oh, this is going to be fun,” Mikey said. “Tell us—who’s your favorite broth—"

“Mikey!” Raph lunged at his brother, leaving Leonardo behind on the couch. Mikey screamed and ran, and the game of chase was on.

Don chuckled and sat beside Leo.

“Are you going to ask me anything?” Leo asked.

Don shook his head. “No. I’d rather you tell me in your own time. Although I am curious as to the answer to that last question.”

“Considering Mikey never finished asking it, I suppose we’ll never know,” Leo said.

“I suppose not,” Don said.

He leaned into Leo a bit, a silent encouragement, and Leo leaned back. Perhaps the pressures of leadership got to him more often than he wanted to admit. But at least he knew that even in his weak moments, his family would be there for him.

#Febuwhump2024 #FebuwhumpDay20 #TMNT #TMNT 2003 #TMNT 2k3 #TMNT Leonardo #tmnt fan fiction #tmnt fanfic

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metalnecklace · 11 months

Text

I Was Raised Out In The Cold

Pairing: Joel Miller x Reader

Words: 8099

Warnings: Canon Typical Violence, Brief Mentions of Death/Violence, Injuries/Head Trauma, P in V Smut, Unsafe Sex (wrap it up, folks).

Notes: Here is the second part to Forgive My Northern Attitude. I wrote way more than I expected, but I’m really happy with it! I hope this redeems how I left the first part. Also I played through the game before I watched the show so if it’s obvious then I’m sorry. Also also, I have dealt with the injuries in this part before so I’m basing recovery/treatment on what I went through when having to deal with that.

Masterlist

Part I

Three Months Later (Autumn)

I tried not to think about that night. About him. About the way he held me so close, as if he was afraid to lose me. I knew in that moment I was afraid to lose him. I didn’t know that I would.

Ever since he closed my front door on us I decided to close my heart to him. We barely spoke unless necessary, and I tried my hardest to keep my distance from him. Ellie had suspiciously been getting closer to me, but I didn’t mind as long as he didn’t join her.

One day she asked about us at lunch. “What’s up with you and Joel?”

I shrugged. “Not much.”

She rolled her eyes and sat back with her arms crossed. “You can’t fool me. How do you guys know each other?”

“We were friends before the outbreak. That’s it, that’s all.” I continued keeping my eyes down and focused on the food I was stabbing with my fork.

We sat eating in silence for a few more minutes, and I thought I was off the hook. “You probably already know how stubborn he is, but he does eventually give in. I promise.”

I looked up and saw that she was genuine with her words. She looked at me with concern that only someone who actually cared could have.

“Thank you, Ellie.”

She smiled. “Anytime.”

Joel and I continued existing around each other until even Tommy couldn’t take it. I walked in on him and Joel arguing after he’d called me into his office.

“You’re fucking stupid if you think I’m goin’ out there with her.” Joel was standing with his back to the door, and I tried my hardest to ignore the ghost of how it felt to pull that back closer to my body.

“I hope you’re not talking about me,” I said, causing Joel’s shoulders to tense up even further toward his ears. He spun to face me and his eyes held a look that I couldn’t figure out.

“(Y/N). Glad you could join us.” Tommy was sitting at his desk, looking amused at the scowl etched onto Joel’s features.

I walked further into the room, closing the door behind me. “What’s going on, Tommy?”

Tommy’s eyes darted between me and Joel, no doubt noticing how hard I was trying to ignore the older man. “I’m sending you guys out on patrol to one of our safe houses in the north. There’s reports of infected hiding out there and I need them cleared out. We have a lot of supplies up there and can’t afford to lose the place.”

“But why us?” Joel asked before I could. “Why can’t you and I go up?”

Tommy raised an eyebrow at his brother. “You know Maria doesn’t want me going out as much right now, and you two haven’t been out on patrol together yet. I’m trying to change things up.”

“If we haven’t been out before then do you really think it’s safest to try this now?” Joel was nearly shouting, gritting his teeth to keep his voice level.

Tommy stood up so he could look Joel in the face. “You two are the best shooters here, you work your asses off, and look out for everyone else before yourselves. I have no doubt in my mind that you’re the two to do it. Also, it might help get the stick that’s shoved up your ass out once and for all.”

The brothers stared at each other for a moment, I didn’t dare speak. “I could just say no,” Joel finally said.

“You could,” Tommy shrugged, “but you won’t.”

Joel grunted then turned toward the door, throwing it open. Before he left he looked at me. “We leave at dawn, be ready by the stables.”

He slammed the door before I could even give a response.

“I don’t have much of a choice do I?”

“Nope,” Tommy replied, lips popping on the P. “Just please make sure he doesn’t do anything too stupid.”

“I’ll try my best,” I grumbled. “But I make no promises.”

I slept fitfully that night, my dreams filled with a scowling face and slamming doors. When I rose for the day it was much earlier than I wanted, which meant I not only had enough time to get my horse saddled up, but his as well. He didn’t seem too pleased when he walked in to see me tightening the girth on his saddle.

“I could’ve done all that.” He walked over and took his bridle off the wall.

“A ‘thank you’ would be nice,” I snarked, not even bothering to look his way.

I could hear him stop in his tracks, pausing before continuing to tack his horse. “Thank you.”

I didn’t respond, mounting my horse and riding her out of the barn. Joel’s grunt let me know he mounted his horse behind me and followed my path. I allowed him to take the lead, since he’d been up to that particular safe house more than I had.

We rode in complete silence as the sun started to rise, warming us up. The sight of Jackson during the fall always took my breath away, but it was nothing compared to the way the rising sunlight shone through the red and yellow leaves that morning, casting golden rays on the mountains. Joel slowed down so he could take in the same landscape, and I was pleased to see he still knew how to enjoy his natural surroundings.

He turned to me as much as he could in his saddle. “Well, you always did wanna be surrounded by nature.”

I snorted, shaking my head. It was easy to forget for a moment that I was mad at him, that he had walked out after we opened ourselves up to each other that night.

He turned and continued leading us on our journey. If we continued the way we were we would make it to the safe house within the hour. I was starting to get nervous about what we would be facing, but I couldn’t let Joel know that. He already didn’t want to be working beside me, who knew how he’d feel knowing I was also unsure about my abilities.

Eventually we tied our horses up far enough away from the safe house that if any infected ran out they’d hopefully steer clear, and then made our way to our mission. The only sound between the two of us was the crunch of the leaves under our boots and our breaths heavy from our journey, and possibly our nerves. We came across our target and Joel held his arm out in front of me, stilling our movements, as the sound of moaning and snarling rose from the house.

“Did he say how many there might be?” I whispered, getting my gun ready.

His only answer was the shaking of his head as he mirrored my movements, aiming his gun in front of his body. I glanced at the way his strong hands gripped firm around his weapon, and I shook the image of those hands gripping my thighs out of my head. There was no time to be fantasizing.

We crouched low and made our way to the house, listening in to try and asses the number of bodies we’d have to take care of. I was sure I could distinctly hear at least four different infected, but it was impossible to say for sure until we investigated further.

Joel looked to me, pointing toward a window that had been boarded up. The boards had clearly been ripped apart, leaving a gaping hole to the house. We shuffled closer and I peeked in, looking around what I assumed had been a kitchen. There were no infected in the room, so we lifted ourselves through the window and crept over to where we could hide from the next room.

From our vantage point we were able to see two infected in the living room. I turned to Joel who nodded toward the one on the left, my target. As we advanced forward slowly, he took the right, and we jumped the infected from behind, shoving our knives into the sides of their necks. It was easy work, and, most importantly, silent.

We made our way through the house exactly like that. Silent, swift, with devastating accuracy. There were seven infected in total, and we wiped each one out, only having to fire a few rounds into the last three. I was always nervous about firing our guns, especially when we were further from Jackson, but I knew that the only infected around to hear were dead.

Or so I thought.

“Alright, let’s make sure the gear is untouched,” Joel mumbled.

I nodded and began going through the cupboards to check on the canned goods. “Guess Tommy didn’t need his best shooters after all.”

Joel chuckled. “Yeah, I have a feelin’ he was exaggerating his story.”

We still worked in silence, but it no longer felt as heavy as it had that morning. I missed Joel and just being in his company. It had been so long.

“Everything is accounted for and untouched,” I confirmed once I had checked through each room. We were standing in one of the upstairs bedrooms searching through the closets for hidden ammo.

“I just need to check the bathroom,” Joel said.

I stopped him with a hand on his chest. “Don’t worry about it, I’ll check while you radio Tommy downstairs.”

As I went to pull my hand away he grabbed onto it, keeping it held to his heartbeat. “Hey, you put in a lot of work, why don’t you rest up while I take care of both?”

I shook my head and pulled my hand away. “Joel, I’m fine, I’ll just check the bathroom.”

“So stubborn,” he said, turning to go downstairs.

I turned to face his retreating form. “Oh, I’m stubborn?”

He sighed, stopping in his tracks and tilting his head back. “We’re really gonna do this now?”

“No, you’re right, nevermind.” I threw my hands up then walked toward the bathroom. “Let’s just ignore it, cause that’s been working out so well for us.”

He turned as I started opening the door. “(Y/N), come on-“

He was cut off as an infected burst through the door that I had opened, pushing me back toward the far wall of the bedroom. Joel yelled my name, cocking his gun and firing at the creature. I couldn’t get my hands free as I pushed the infected off of me as best as I could, my feet carrying me back closer and closer to the window behind me.

Joel shot again, the infected finally howling in pain as it gave me one final shove before dropping to the floor. I stumbled back, tripping over a board that was sticking up and yelped at the feeling of lightning shooting up from my right ankle. All I heard was Joel shouting my name before my back collided with the window, glass shattering around me as I fell through the air and slammed into the earth below. My head hit the ground and everything went black.

I awoke to Joel hovering over me, his hands feeling my forehead and neck gingerly.

“Shit, sweetheart, I’m right here. I got you,” he cooed, cradling my face in his hands.

I groaned, a splitting headache making its way to my eyes. I tried to sit up but Joel pressed his hands to my shoulders, keeping me pinned.

“I just have to make sure nothin’s broken or bleedin’ first, okay?” He looked at me for permission, but I couldn’t even bring myself to answer. I felt tears spring to the corners of my eyes, not sure if it was embarrassment or pain, but knowing it was probably both.

He checked me over, his hands moving carefully and softer than I’d ever seen or felt. It was hard to believe the callouses that were worn into his skin and the knuckles that were scarred from fighting belonged to the same man who looked at me with those eyes. The more he touched me the more I felt myself melting for him.

“J-Joel,” I stuttered, tears starting to stream down my cheeks. “Joel, it hurts.”

“I know, sweetheart, I know.” He pulled back. “Where does it hurt?”

I found myself wiggling slightly, trying to pinpoint exactly where the pain was coming from. “My head, and my ankle. Mostly my ankle.”

His fingers moved behind my head, swiping over what I was sure to be a nasty bump, but his skin was clean when he pulled away. No blood. He looked relieved to see that, but concern took over once more when he moved to check my ankle. I hissed at the slightest movement as he carefully pulled my pant leg up. I thanked whatever spiritual being was watching over us that I had worn my lace up boots that day instead of my usual pull ons, since even taking one of those off hurt incredibly bad.

“Fuck, baby,” he hissed, not even daring to touch what I was assuming was a very swollen ankle. “I don’t think it’s broken, but it’s definitely sprained.”

“Shit,” I could feel a sob trying to break from my chest, but I didn’t want Joel to see me that weak. “What am I gonna do?”

“We,” he began, “are going to wrap this with the first aid kit from the kitchen. Then we are getting you home.”

He bent down further and placed a hand under my head and between my shoulders. With his help I was able to sit up, though the ground seemed to move slightly under me.

“I’m a bit dizzy,” I confessed, placing a hand out so he would slow down.

“Yeah I’d say you have a pretty nasty concussion.” He sighed. “You really did a number on yourself. We’ll go slow, okay? I just gotta get you standing.”

“I didn’t do it to myself,” I groaned, trying to lean on him enough so I could push myself up onto one foot. “It’s not my fault.”

He shook his head. “Still fighting even after falling from a second story window.”

I felt bad leaning my entire weight on him so I could stand up, considering I was feeling quite weak from my fall and the shock running through my system. He didn’t seem to mind though, and barely made a sound as he half carried me into the house. He walked me over to a couch that was up against the living room wall and helped me lay back down.

“I’m gonna radio Tommy to let him know we’ll be a bit delayed coming back, then I’ll get you wrapped up okay?”

I nodded, then winced at the pain from the movement. He went into the kitchen and I heard the sound of the radio as he muttered into it. Even though I strained to listen I still couldn’t make out a thing he said, and decided to wait for him to come back. As I waited my eyelids started feeling extremely heavy, and I felt a blanket of sleep start to pull me under.

“Don’t fall asleep on me, sweetheart.” Joel’s drawl pulled me back out from the fog I had been in. “We can’t have that with your head, don’t want you not waking back up on me.”

I groaned but obeyed. “I’m so tired.”

“I know.” He pulled a chair up to the bottom half of the couch, opening up the first aid kit on his lap. “Just keep those pretty eyes on me, darlin’.”

I did as I was told, admiring his capable hands as he held my ankle as gently as he could. It was hard to hold in my cries of pain but I tried my best for him. I didn’t want him to feel bad about hurting me, considering he was only helping.

Joel held the wrap in his hands and began to loop it around my foot and ankle with expertise. It started to feel better when it was supported by the tightening fabric, but I suspected some of that had to do with the man who was taking such good care of me.

“There,” he said, his voice gruff but I could still hear the hint of care under his tone.

“Thank you, Joel,” I grunted, trying to get up.

He reached out and stopped me yet again. “Woah there, let’s take it easy. I gotta pack everything up and I’m gonna bring the horses over. There’s no way you’re walking for very long.”

“You’re gonna leave me here?” I knew I didn’t need to be too afraid, we had hopefully cleared out the infected around us, but the thought of him not being next to me made my hands start to tremble.

“Oh, sweetheart, I swear I won’t be more than ten minutes, okay?” He laid his hand on my forehead and smoothed back my hair. He leaned over and took his gun off the floor and placed it in my hands so it was aimed toward the hallway. “If you see anybody that isn’t me, don’t even hesitate.”

I nodded. “I know, Joel.”

I waited alone, barely breathing, for what felt like hours until Joel announced his arrival. He came into the room with his hands up as if I had him pinned, making me chuckle as I lowered the gun.

“So here’s the plan,” he said as he took the gun from my hands and slung it over his shoulder. “We need to get you on that horse. Do you think we can do that?”

I thought for a moment about everything it would take to do that, then nodded slowly.

“Are you able to put any weight on it?”

I had already gotten myself into a seated position while I waited for him, but that was all I dared to do. He watched as I wiggled my toes slightly, then maneuvered myself so my feet were on the floor. I winced as I put pressure on my foot, but held my hand out to stop Joel from trying to help.

“I’m just gonna hold your hand to help you, I promise that’s it.” He was looking into my eyes helping me feel more determined than ever. We were the only ones in the room and we might as well have been the only ones on earth as I focused on him and the rough surface of his palm on mine.

I used his support as I pushed myself up off the couch into a standing position. The floor shifted slightly causing Joel to let go and hold onto my shoulders instead.

“I’m okay, just a bit dizzy still,” I reassured him, then took a tentative step. I immediately hissed in pain. “Fuck, that really hurts. I’ve sprained my ankles before but not this bad.”

“I know, sweetheart.” His voice rumbled through me and I closed my eyes, allowing it to soothe my nerves. “We’re just going to go slow. The hardest part is just outside, then it’s smooth sailing, okay?”

I opened my eyes to find his already on me. My breath hitched in my throat.

“I promise.”

“Okay,” I whispered. “Okay, Joel.”

With my arm over his shoulder I hobbled outside, putting as little weight as possible on my ankle. I whimpered when we got to the side of my horse, panic rising in my throat. How was I going to do this?

“I’m gonna need you to lean back on me, sweetheart. Your good foot is going in that stirrup and you’re gonna pull yourself up okay?” His lips brushed against the shell of my ear and I couldn’t help the shiver that rippled through my body.

I did as he instructed, groaning at the pain shooting through my toes and up my leg. His arms wrapped around my middle, pulling me into him. I tried to lift my other leg up but my back muscles were pulled taught, and I felt like my energy was sucked out of me.

“I think I hurt my back more than I thought,” I panted, still trying to lift my leg.

One of his hands left my middle and moved down to grip my outer thigh, his fingers wrapping around my leg and helping me lift it high enough that I could get my foot in the stirrup.

“Alright, I’m gonna push you up a bit, but I’m gonna need you to really step with that good foot,” he grunted.

“It’s okay, I can do it,” I said, panting even before the hardest part.

Using every bit of strength I had, I hoisted myself up into the saddle, my opposite leg dangling in the air beside the stirrup. Joel walked over and adjusted the stirrup so it would be sitting looser than usual, and his hands roamed up to my ankle and calf to help my foot get set in place, but not before fitting my boot back on. For the cold, he told me, making sure it wasn’t too tight.

“I know it’s still gonna ache a bit, but hopefully not too bad,” he said, raising his eyes to mine with the warmth of his hands radiating through my jeans. He kept them there for another breath and then pulled them away hesitantly. “Are you gonna be alright?”

I nodded. “As long as we take it slow I should be fine.”

“We can do that,” he agreed. “It might take us longer to get back but I’d be out here all day as long as you feel alright.”

My lungs emptied at his words, and I found myself wishing I was back under him. Feeling the weight of his body pressing down into mine, holding me, keeping me tethered to the earth.

I pulled my gaze away, breaking my line of thought. I couldn’t do that to myself, I didn’t dare dream about Joel Miller. He sighed and walked over to his horse, swinging his leg up and over with ease. Once he was seated he turned to check my progress. I nodded once, and we set off.

The trail to the safe house was luckily not one known for its rough terrain, it was just lengthy. Usually it would take patrollers two hours to reach the house, and two hours to go back home. It took us three until we could see the Jackson gate.

Although my ankle was throbbing, it didn’t feel like it took us as long as we did. The only way we could tell any time passed was because the sun had started to set. Joel hadn’t spoken a word, only glancing behind every once in a while to check on me, leaving me to my thoughts. And did they ever race.

After trying to steer my mind to more appropriate things, I found that the only way to distract myself from the pain was by focusing on the broad back in front of me. The way his jacket puffed out over his torso, but still stretched slightly over his shoulders. Even under the layers I could tell his strength, and longed to feel him let go. Let me feel it.

I was nearly salivating by the time he stopped in front and half turned to check on me.

“Doin’ alright?”

“Y-yeah,” my voice nearly broke after not talking for so long, “just exhausted.”

He nodded and looked to where Jackson was. “Just a few more minutes and we’ll be there. I’ll make sure to help you off and everything, I know that’ll not be too fun.”

“Right. Thank you.”

I could barely feel my foot, the swelling too much against the confines of my boot, but I wiggled my toes every once in a while to make sure I still could. When we finally passed the gates I felt myself nearly give out, slumping over the horn of my saddle slightly. Joel was already in front of me, holding the reins to his horse and taking mine out of my loosening grip.

“It’s alright, we’re here.” His voice was soothing, my port in a storm. “Just keep it up for a few more minutes, I’m getting us to your place first so you won’t have to walk far.”

I didn’t answer him but knew he would do what was needed. All of my strength was being used to keep myself awake and alert as I hung onto the horn of the saddle for dear life. Every step had my body shift forward, making it harder to stay upright. Luckily my house came into view and I knew we were only a few more steps away.

When we arrived he rushed over to my good side, and instructed me to swing my bad leg over so I could slide down and land on one foot. His hands held onto my waist, helping me down slowly until I was on my good foot, and I gingerly placed my other on the ground.

“It’s really stiff,” I groaned.

“Do you think you can walk on it a bit? Just to get you inside?” His eyes searched my face looking for any indication of pain.

“Yeah. Yeah, I think so,” I said, still a bit out of breath from the dismount. “I’ll be fine, I just need to lay down.”

He helped me place my arm around his shoulders and together we hobbled into my house. I went to direct him to where my bedroom was but realized I didn’t need to. He found it as if he’d been there a thousand times, as if it were his house, not just the house he snuck out of in the early hours of the morning.

I sat down on my bed and watched as he bent down on one knee to take my boot off. I was mesmerized by his gentle touch and watchful eyes, remembering the last time we were in that room. A heat pooled low in my belly and my thighs involuntarily clenched together.

“Sorry, I know it hurts,” he said. He had no idea. “I’m gonna go get Tommy and Maria, they were gonna get the doctor, so I’ll be right back. Why don’t you change into something comfortable?”

“Okay,” I said. “Thank you, Joel.”

He stood up and looked at me. I felt my breath falter as time stood still under his gaze. He nodded and walked away. Maria and Tommy came in with the doctor not long after, but Joel didn’t come with them. They confirmed it wasn’t a break, and that I definitely had a concussion but I was okay to rest up. Maria made sure my curtains were drawn tight so my eyes wouldn’t be as sensitive to the light, and they made sure to give me time to rest.

A week passed by with Maria and the doctor coming in to check on me a few times a day as I rested and tried to regain my strength. My head wasn’t aching as much as before but my ankle was still quite tender. I was trying to put more and more weight on it each day but it was hard to stay determined. Joel flooded my thoughts throughout the day and at night my dreams tended to revolve around my mixed feelings toward him.

I was upset he hadn’t visited. Even Ellie had visited at least once a day. She said I needed entertainment, which apparently meant bad jokes and then hounding me about Joel.

“Was he less grumpy before?” She asked one day while I made us some soup to fight off the chill in the air.

I shrugged. “I think we all were.”

“You two were friends, though?”

I turned to her. She was sitting at my kitchen table shuffling cards, but I knew that little smile she wore had different intentions than just curiosity.

“Yes.” I turned back to the pot on the stove. “I already told you that before.”

“I know, it’s just hard to imagine him making friends.” She laughed a bit, the cards flipping through her hands with small swishes. “He doesn’t tell me too much about before, but he has started opening up about Sarah more.”

“He was friends with my brother first,” I said quickly, not sure Joel would want us talking about Sarah. “I was his and Tommy’s mechanic.”

“You were a mechanic?” Ellie asked, her hands pausing their movements. “That’s so cool! There were a few at FEDRA, but they were mostly all men.”

“Yeah, it was a pretty male dominated profession before too.” I turned off my stove, giving the soup one last stir before going to sit in front of Ellie. I had taught her ‘go fish’ and it was her favourite thing to play on rainy days. It also helped pass the time while I was healing.

I was reminded of Freddy. All that time playing cards while we waited for his treatments in the hospital. Us playing games we played as kids just to keep the air lighthearted.

She dealt out our cards. “So, you were close?”

“Close enough, I guess.” I picked up my cards, fanning them out in front of me. “We would just hang out on weekends, having barbecues or hang outs. Nothing crazy, certainly never serious.”

Ellie nodded, but didn’t say anything. The silence that hung between us was filled with questions she didn’t dare voice. She didn’t have to.

“My brother and Tommy fought in the army together, and then stayed close when they came home.” I stacked my cards together face down on the table so I could look at Ellie. “He introduced them to me because I was just starting up my shop.”

Ellie was patient, letting me tell her what I felt comfortable telling her. I understood how she and Joel got along. She knew the right questions to ask to get you talking, but was respectful enough to let you take the lead. It was easy to see the understanding she felt toward me, and I could only imagine the amount she felt toward Joel.

“My brother got very sick. He was getting treatments that made him quite weak, so he was living with me. Did Joel tell you about the flour?”

She nodded, her cards long forgotten.

“Well, he had some. Got infected.” I looked down at my hands. They laid steady on the wood in front of me. “Joel… Took care of him.”

Ellie gasped slightly, barely loud enough for me to hear. “(Y/N), I’m so sorry.”

I shook my head, my eyes welling up. “No, no, it’s okay. It happened so long ago now that I’ve made peace with his passing. The last year he was alive I went to sleep each night wishing he was no longer in pain. Praying for some relief. I guess I should’ve been more specific.”

I looked up to find Ellie chewing on her lip. It was a lot to take in for a young girl, but I knew she wasn’t a typical young girl.

“Thank you for sharing that with me,” she said finally.

“Thank you for listening.” I smiled and picked up my cards. “Now, get ready to be schooled.”

After another week I had most of my strength back, my ankle and head were feeling much better, and I had given up hope that Joel would grace my doorstep. That was until I heard a tentative knock one night after I got ready to go to bed. I was confused as to who it was, because Maria’s knocks were forceful, announcing immediately who it was, and Ellie barely knocked anymore before barging in. When I opened the door I nearly rolled my eyes at the broad frame standing before me.

“What do you want, Joel?” I held onto the door, ready to slam it in his face.

He held his hands up in surrender. “I just want to talk. That’s all.”

I gnawed the inside of my lip, then moved out of the way for him. He wandered inside as if he had never seen my house in his life, so unlike the man who was so sure of where each room was when he led me inside after my injury. I gestured to the couch and sat down, twisting my body to face him as he followed my actions.

“Well?” I asked. “Talk.”

“I’m sorry.” He said. “I’m sorry, okay? I’m sorry for everything. For how I’ve treated you, for how I’ve ignored you. Most of all I’m sorry you’re going through this. I should have been the one to open that door, I should have insisted. It’s my fault you’re hurt.”

I shook my head, narrowing my eyes. “Don’t give me that.” His attention snapped to my tone, surprised at my cruelty. “Joel, if you would have opened that door you would have been in the same place as me, if not worse. So don’t give me that.”

“Yeah, but at least it wouldn’t have been you. You don’t deserve to be in pain.”

“Oh?” I scoffed. “And you do?”

He looked away from me, letting his silence speak for him.

“Joel, come on. When are you going to realize that you don’t need to take on everyone’s burdens?” I reached out and placed my hand on his knee, but he still wouldn’t look at me. “You don’t need to repent for your sins, you don’t need to sacrifice yourself for anything. You are not something that needs to be saved or fixed, you are not broken.”

Joel shook his head and stood up, pacing in front of me. He came to a stop and turned to face me. His eyes were glassy, his cheeks flushed, and I wanted to go to him and press my thumb against his trembling bottom lip to keep it still. I didn’t.

“How can you even look at me, (Y/N)?” His voice broke on my name and I could feel my chest ache for him. “After all the things I’ve done. The things you’ve seen me do.”

Images of bloody knuckles, split eyebrows and lips, and Joel’s eyes devoid of emotion entered my head. The sounds of pleading and cries for help clogged my ears until I nearly plugged them. Then the blood that splattered against the wall behind my brother was all I could see, the screaming becoming my own, Joel’s face, his eyes. The realization of what he’d done. I shook my head trying to rid myself of the horror.

“I did things too, Joel. We were trying to survive. You can’t blame yourself.” I looked at my hands, the same ones that killed for our survival alongside him. “I think we’ve lost enough to have made up for it.”

“But you’ve stopped. You stopped all of that well before I did. Fuck, (Y/N), I just put a bullet through every single person who was only trying to save the world, just because of my own gain.” He broke off in a sob, wrapping his arms around himself. “I couldn’t lose her, (Y/N). I couldn’t let them take her. They’ve taken so much, and they weren’t even going to let her choose.”

I stood and went over to him, unwrapping his arms and wrapping my own around him. He hugged me back, cradling my head in one of his hands, and gripped the back of my shirt with his other. His shoulders and chest heaved as he cried, and I held him through it. I wasn’t sure what had happened with him and Ellie, but knew that he would tell me one day when he was comfortable. The best I could do was give him that space, and allow him to work through what he was feeling.

He spoke after calming down. “I just don’t want you being disappointed in what I have to offer.”

“What do you mean?” I pulled back slightly.

He shrugged, but wouldn’t look at me.

“Joel.”

His eyes flashed to mine, a fire burning deep in the pools of them. “I’m working on being a better person, for me, for Tommy, for Ellie, for…” he trailed off, gesturing slightly toward me. “But you shouldn’t be getting yourself attached to a work in progress.”

“I think it might be too late for that,” I lowered my voice as if I was afraid we could be heard outside our private bubble. “Joel, I’ve been trying to forget you all these years, but you keep coming back. I want to let you in but you have to let me, and you can’t just run off whenever you get scared.”

Joel nodded.

“We work through things together, okay?” I rubbed my hands up and down his chest. “We take care of each other. Because we’re in this together, no matter what.”

“Okay,” he said, his voice just above a whisper. “It won’t be perfect, but I want to try my best for you. As long as you’ll have me.”

I chuckled. “I don’t want perfect, I just want you.”

“Can I kiss you?” His hand that was on the back of my head moved lower to cradle my neck, while his other hand still splayed across my lower back. “I’ve wanted to kiss you again since that night, but I didn’t want you to be disappointed when you saw me still there.”

“Joel, I was disappointed that you weren’t there.” I sighed. “When are you going to get it through your head that I actually want you here? That I want you with me?”

He hung his head, but I placed my knuckle under his chin to angle him back up.

“I want you to kiss me, Joel. I want you to take me to bed and have your way with me. I want you to ruin me for anyone else. I want you,” I leaned in, my lips brushing against his, “Joel.”

“Fuck,” he whispered before closing the gap between us.

There was no pain in the back of my mind once I felt that man’s lips on mine. No aches in my head or ankle, no screaming in my ears, no blood splattered behind my eyelids. Everything was just him. Just Joel.

He pulled back and peppered kisses along my jaw, trailing his way to my ear. “Baby, let me take care of you the way I should’ve been all this time.”

I moaned as his teeth nipped at the skin directly under my ear. His hands gripped me closer until I was pressed so tightly to him I thought I would shatter, but felt comfort knowing he’d be there to pick up the pieces.

“Joel, take me to bed, please.” I pulled away from him and reached out for his hand, threading our fingers together.

He followed me to my room and spun me around as soon as we crossed the doorway. I whimpered into his mouth as he pressed our lips together once again, and pulled him closer to me.

Joel pulled away with a gasp, struggling to catch his breath. “Sweetheart, I want to keep going, but are you sure you’re okay?”

I felt his hand brush the back of my head and I nodded. “Yes, Joel, I promise I’m okay.” I held his face between my hands, forcing his eyes to meet mine. “You won’t hurt me. It’s okay. Don’t hold back.”

His eyes flitted down to my lips, then off to the side.

“Joel, look at me,” I demanded. His eyes snapped to mine, the hunger renewed within them. “Don’t hold back. I want to feel everything.”

“Strip,” he growled, stepping back to give me space. “Then get on the bed.”

I nearly ripped my clothes off, too impatient to make the act look good for him, and climbed onto the bed. When I turned to face him he was already naked, stroking his cock slowly while pinning me in place with his gaze. My lips fell open at the sight of him, completely at ease, yet ready to tear me apart. I let my legs widen and his eyes traveled down between them, where my core was clenching around nothing.

Joel walked forward, getting ready to kneel down but I closed my legs, making him pause his actions.

“I need you, all of you, right now.”

He chuckled. “But I need to get you ready for me, I don’t want you to be uncomfortable.”

“Please, I need it,” I whined. “I need all of you. I want to feel every last inch of your cock, Joel.”

“Fuck, sweetheart.” He crawled onto the bed and sat back on his knees, lining himself up with my entrance.

“Don’t hold back,” I reminded him again.

He bottomed out in one thrust, and my head was thrown back involuntarily. The sound that ripped from my throat was unrecognizable, a guttural moan that broke off into a whine as he slowly pulled back out. He slammed his hips into me again with a grunt, and continued at that pace. Hard thrusts and slow drags of his cock, though he never fully pulled out. The tip of his cock was always left in, keeping our bodies connected, along with the bruising grip he kept on my hips.

My head was still thrown back on my pillow until I felt him lean forward just enough to grab a handful of my hair on the very top. He pulled my head up so I could look at him, and I whimpered as he continued his punishing pace.

“There you go, baby, just like that,” he cooed while circling my clit with his fingers, his other hand tightening its grip on my roots. “Just like that, you’re such a good girl for me.”

My orgasm was coming on almost too fast for me to wrap my head around. His fingers danced over my swollen bud as I nearly screamed his name over and over until I came. The waves of my pleasure rolling over me, dragging me under, his voice the only thing bringing me back to the surface.

“There you go, fuck, baby. Look at you, so beautiful, so good for me,” he babbled, his voice rumbling through my veins. “Turn over baby, I wanna cum all over you.”

My limbs felt liquified as he helped me turn over onto my belly. I didn’t dare try to hold myself up and stayed laying flat between his legs. He reached over me, his cock nestled against my ass while he grabbed a pillow. I lifted my hips up enough for him to wedge the pillow under my hips, keeping me in the right position for him.

“Look at this pretty pussy,” he drawled. “She’s all mine, so wet and ready, all for me.”

He spread my ass and I blushed at being fully revealed to him, then almost laughed at the absurdity of that. I moaned when I felt his tip nudge at my entrance, then moaned again when he pushed in until he was snug against me.

“Fuck, baby, I’m not gonna last long,” he said.

My walls were so sensitive as he continued the same as he did before, slamming his hips flush against my ass, making sure I could feel every part of him when he pulled out slowly. I could barely make a sound, my entire body felt like it was on fire.

Joel moved forward so one hand held him up over me, his other hand slid into my hair, pulling my head up so I could watch him. He pressed his lips to my shoulder, his eyes burning into mine, and our bodies flushed together so tight he was barely pulling out of me.

“S-so deep, Joel,” I stuttered out, his body pressing me into the mattress as he continued pushing in and in and in.

“I know, baby, I know,” he panted against my shoulder blade, then leaned forward to bite along my back. “I’m almost there, so fucking close.”

“I need it, Joel, I need you.” I was ready to pass out, feeling so overwhelmed by him, but I didn’t want him to stop.

His hips stuttered, and he sat back up so he could fully pull out. I groaned at the empty feeling, wiggling my hips in search of him. His hand came down onto my ass and I yelped, then sighed as I felt the first spurts of his cum on the sensitive skin.

“Fuck, baby, fuck,” he grunted, fucking his fist through his orgasm. “You look so good like this.”

“All for you,” I mumbled, feeling my eyelids shut.

He finished, breathing heavily behind me, and I waited for him to find something to clean me up, only to feel his hands stroking my ass. His finger ran through the cum rolling down my skin and slid down to my clit, making me jolt with the sensitivity.

“Oh, baby, look at you. Sensitive?” He asked, even though he knew the answer. Asshole. “Think you can give me one more?”

I whined as his fingers slipped around my clit, mixing our cum together.

“I think you can take it, sweetheart, come on.”

It didn’t take long, my orgasm ripped through me with just a few more circles from his fingers. I shuddered under him, my limbs trembling after I came back down. He moved to the bathroom to get a cloth and some water, then wiped it over my skin, cleaning himself off of me. I was still in awe at the gentle swipe of his hands over the most sensitive parts of my body, especially after remembering the brutality in how he handled any weapon.

He laid down next to me when he was done and pulled me over so I was snuggled up to his side. I looked at his body, and traced my fingers along the scars both old and new. I hadn’t realized that one of his scars was quite fresh the last time I had seen him like that, and hovered over it before moving on. I knew he would tell me when he was ready.

My eyes landed between his legs when he shifted slightly. “Hard again? Already?” He nodded and then hissed as I traced my finger over his velvet skin. “I’m surprised you can still get it up at all, old man.”

He laughed, the sound like music to my ears. “Oh, darlin’, for you? I don’t think I could ever stop.”

I smiled and tilted my head up to kiss him.

We fell asleep embracing each other, with the promise of continuing in the morning unspoken between us. When we did wake up halfway through the night in each others arms it was easy for him to roll me onto my back so he could fuck me again.

Only that time it was slow. He held me close and whispered every promise into my ear, while he took his time unraveling me. My thighs ached but I still held him in between them while I came, his name falling from my lips. He came not too far behind me, and then kissed my forehead, leaving his lips pressed there for a moment.

I fell asleep again that night in his arms, and woke up alone. Again.

I sat up, my heart breaking, only to hear the bathroom door close from the hallway. Joel came striding in while pulling a t-shirt on, his cock already straining against the fabric of his underwear.

He paused once his shirt was on and he realized I was awake. “Mornin’ sleepyhead. I was thinking of making breakfast, eggs, toast, all that good stuff. How does that sound?”

I watched his smile slide onto his face so easily and couldn’t help but mirror it. “That sounds perfect, Joel.”

He turned and walked toward the kitchen. I wondered for a moment how long he would stay, but I shook the thought out of my head. I threw on some clothes and went to join him. The sight of his broad back almost completely shielding my view of the stove had my heart soaring, and when I walked up behind him and wrapped my arms around his middle he started humming.

He turned slightly and kissed the top of my head. My smile was so big I thought my face would crack in half, and when I looked up into his eyes I knew he wasn’t going anywhere.

#Joel miller #joel miller fanfiction #joel miller fic #joel miller x reader

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weremoose · 2 months

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CHAPTER PREVIEW: Paranormal Deertective #1: The Laundry Room Haunting SUMMARY: Elmer's a deer down on his luck with a passion for the paranormal, Finnick's a single sheep dad trying to take care of his son, Finley, and Liam's a young rooster who's the new kid in town. When Elmer's elderly neighbour starts speaking of a ghost haunting the apartment's laundry room, the four of them work to solve this paranormal case, all with the help of an authorless book specialized in contacting the dead. WORD COUNT: 1,142 PREVIEW IMAGE:

Feedback and constructive criticism is much appreciated; just please be respectful!

CHAPTER ONE: PARENT-TEACHER

Out of all the parents that Mr. Blackwood dealt with in his several years of teaching, Finnick Winter was…an interesting case. From what Mr. Blackwood could gather, Mr. Winter sounded like quite the agreeable man, but truthfully, Mr. Blackwood didn’t know him very well.

Oddly enough, Mr. Winter also worked at Edgehaven Elementary— well, sometimes, anyway. Sometimes, he was a gym teacher there; other times, he owned and ran the Winter Sleep Institute elsewhere in Edgehaven — and, no, Mr. Blackwood didn’t know how he found the time. Frankly, nobody did, because not many really knew him; Mr. Winter was a bit of an elusive figure to anyone who wasn’t a close acquaintance.

Yet at the same time, his presence was well known among the staff at the school, despite a majority of them having never spoken to him at length. He never failed to send a shiver down anyone’s spine by the mere sight of him, and nobody could quite pin down the cause of his intimidating aura. Some said that it was those piercing yellow eyes of his, while others said it was those unnaturally sharp teeth — features that made him appear incredibly uncanny for a sheep.

Now that Mr. Winter actually sat before him, Mr. Blackwood found it was both, especially when he had those same yellow eyes staring at him, sharp teeth protruding from the sheep’s mouth as he grinned. His ghastly appearance, however, contrasted with the way he nonchalantly and patiently sat across from Mr. Blackwood, one leg crossed over the other, and an arm draped over the back of the chair.

The border collie sat there, paws trembling, his gaze flicking anxiously between the paper — which read ‘WINTER, FINLEY’ at the top, accompanied with a photo of a straight-faced lamb — and said lamb’s frightful father.

Suddenly aware of how dry his mouth was, Mr. Blackwood cleared his throat, and finally placed the paper down, smoothing it out on the desk before folding his paws atop the wooden surface.

“Well, Mr. Winter, your, uh— son, Finley, is, um…he’s— uh,” he stammered, having to force himself to look the sheep in the eye. He forced a nervous smile and nodded. “He’s doing very well! He’s very quiet, never late with his homework…”

Mr. Winter’s sharp-toothed grin widened. “Oh, good!” he replied, sounding genuinely happy, yet not terribly surprised. “Glad t’ hear it.”

“Yes, well—" Mr. Blackwood coughed into his hand twice. “He’s a very good student. But, um, Mr. Winter—"

“Please, call me Finnick. All my friends do.”

“Uh…Finnick. Sure. Right, well, um…I just had one, uh…concern about your son that I wanted to address, if you don’t mind.”

His statement prompted Finnick to sit straight up in his seat with a furrowed brow. “If this has anything t’ do with that kid that he pretended t’ put curses on—"

“What? Oh no, heavens, no. I’m not talking about that, as much as that, uh…”

Mr. Blackwood nearly commented on the strangeness of that incident with the lamb and his peer, but shook his head, opting not to veer off-track.

“No, Mr.— uh, Finnick; what I wanted to say was that, well…I’m a little worried about Finley’s lack of friends, if I’m entirely honest. A-Actually, relevant to the episode that you mentioned, it doesn’t seem like your son, uh, gets along with any of his classmates. I asked his previous teachers about it, and apparently this is a bit of a…pattern with your child.”

The sheep chuckled, and Mr. Blackwood feigned uncertainty as to what there was to chuckle about, though, internally, he was bracing himself for Finnick to pull the classic ‘my child is an angel’ card that parents loved to pull.

“Finley doesn’t pick fights,” Finnick said matter-of-factly, “But he does finish them. I’ll bet any money that any kid he doesn’t get along with, they didn’t get along with him first.” He glanced at the border collie up and down. “You’re clearly an observant man. Am I right, or am I right?”

At first Mr. Blackwood opened his mouth, then shut it with an awkward smile. “We’re getting off track, Mr.— um, Finnick. My point is that— well, he’s partway through the fifth grade, and I worry that he may be a bit…isolated.”

After a thoughtful pause, Finnick leaned his arms on the desk. “Mr. Blackwood, we can both agree that Finley’s a pretty honest kid, yeah?”

Having never known the lamb to be a liar, the teacher was inclined to agree at once. “Oh, of course!”

“Then it’d be safe t’ say that if he had an issue, he’d tell me.”

“Yes, well—" Mr. Blackwood started at first, but quickly understood the hint and simply said, “Yes, I suppose he would. Obviously, he is your son, you know him better than I do. I’m merely expressing my concerns as a teacher.”

“‘Course, I get it. I’m a teacher here too, remember.”

For some reason, Mr. Blackwood took this as Finnick mildly chastising him for his wariness, although there was nothing in his tone that necessarily indicated as such. “Oh— yes, of course.”

Leaning back in his seat once more, Finnick looked at him quizzically. “Anything else?”

The teacher hummed, looking at the paper again, rubbing his thumb along his brow. “No,” he eventually said. “No, that’s everything. Other than that…minor concern, overall, he seems to be doing quite well.”

“Perfect!”

The sheep stood to his feet, which prompted Mr. Blackwood, surprised, to briskly mirror the action. Without hesitation, Finnick took his paw and shook it firmly, which also surprised him.

He pleasantly said, “Thank you very much, Mr. Blackwood. Nice t’ finally meet ya’, by the way — I know I’ve passed ya’ in the hall a few times now.”

Having never thought that he took any notice of anyone, let alone Mr. Blackwood, he exclaimed, “Oh! Well, uh— thank you? Or— you’re welcome, rather.” He sounded incredibly uncertain.

Finnick merely laughed, evidently finding his uncertainty amusing. “See ya’ later, Mr. Blackwood.”

Letting go of Mr. Blackwood’s paw (who continued to hold it up for a second too long after he’d let go, staring at it as if unsure of what to do with it), Finnick casually shoved a hand in his pants pocket, and left the classroom.

Upon leaving, Finnick noticed a pair of large ears perking up out of his peripheral. This, of course, prompted him to look at the lamb — his son — sitting in a plastic chair, where he’d waited throughout the duration of the meeting.

“‘Sup, kiddo?” he greeted casually.

“Nothin’ much,” the boy responded, monotone and blank-faced.

“Wanna grab some Kale King?”

“Uh-huh.”

“Alright, c’mon then.”

Hopping off of the chair, the slight bounce of his movement and the small wag of his tail made Finley’s excitement clear. He instinctively took his father’s hand, and they proceeded through the school hall.

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adzeisval · 7 months

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Bloody Knife

Izzy is badly wounded on a raid. HAPPY ENDING. Also on AO3.

Ed pushed the English bastard off the edge of the ship and turned around to see if there were any more to be dealt with. It looked like the battle was winding down and that they had won.

“Ed!”

“Stede? Stede what’s wrong.” Ed hadn’t seen Stede that horrified in a long time, maybe not ever.

“It’s Izzy.”

Ed didn’t need to hear anything else and he ran after Stede, his heart pounding, his stomach in a knot. By the look on Stede’s face and the urgency there was something really, really wrong with Izzy. They made it to Izzy and Ed thought he might faint. Or throw up. Or something.

Izzy was lying on the deck with Jim and Roach at his side. He was pale and shaking a little bit. And…fuck…there was knife in his chest. A knife in the center of Izzy’s chest below his ribs so it had missed his heart but…fuck…Fuck!

Ed knelt by Izzy’s side, “What are we looking at Roach?” Ed didn’t want to hear the answer, didn’t want what was before him to be real.

“I’m going to have to pull the knife,” Roach said, “And if it’s in the artery or vein…there won’t be anything I can do.”

“If it’s not?” Ed asked.

“It’s still a bad wound but he might survive it.”

Might survive. If it wasn’t in a major blood vessel. Ed looked at the knife even though he really didn’t want to but could see why Roach was concerned. The knife was twitching slightly to the rhythm of Izzy’s pulse. If the knife wasn’t in it was close.

Izzy reached for Ed’s hand, “Ed. Just in case. I love you.”

“I love you too Izzy. You’re the best first mate a Captain could ask for, and I’m going to be by your side no matter what alright?”

Izzy nodded, “If I’m going, can you hold me?”

Ed looked at Roach who gave a little nod, “I will Izzy, and if Roach needs to work on you I’ll stay here and hold your hand alright?”

“Yes,” Izzy said. Ed wished that he could stop time. He didn’t want things to move forward. He didn’t want Roach to pull the knife and potentially kill Izzy. He didn’t want to either hold Izzy as he died or watch him struggle to survive such a horrible wound. God but he hoped it was the later, that Izzy would live.

“Ready Izzy?” Roach asked.

Izzy nodded, “Ready.”

“This is gonna hurt Izzy, I think you know that,” Roach said.

Izzy nodded and a tear slipped down his cheek.

“Just look at me Iz, alright?”

Izzy focused on Ed and fuck Ed hoped the news was good. There was still so much strength and life in Izzy’s eyes and he didn’t want to see that fade away to nothingness.

Roach pulled the knife and Izzy tensed and cried in pain. Ed didn’t want to look to see how much blood there was and it didn’t look like Izzy wanted to look either but they both ended up looking down at the same time.

There was blood but it didn’t look like a fatal amount.

“Roach?”

“It missed the artery and vein, I can work with this, I might be able to save him,” Roach said. Ed felt relieved and Izzy sighed.

“Hear that Iz, just hold on mate, keep fighting for me please?”

Izzy nodded. He looked a little pale, maybe a little weaker but he was clearly willing to fight to stay alive. Roach worked on Izzy and Ed tried to encourage Izzy and keep him awake.

When Roach was finally done they carefully moved Izzy to the Captain’s cabin. By that time Izzy was struggling to stay awake.

“Can I sleep now?” Izzy asked.

“Yes,” Roach said and Ed felt a little scared but he held Izzy’s hand and smiled as he passed out.

“Roach?”

“He’s doing well, strong pulse, but we need to watch him carefully. We might have to try to rouse him if he starts having trouble breathing,” Roach said.

“I’ll watch him,” Ed said.

Roach sighed, “That was too close. Fuck I thought for sure we were gonna lose him.”

“I’m glad you were wrong.”

Ed stayed up all night long watching Izzy to make sure he kept breathing. Stede sat with him most of the night. Izzy was breathing steadily all night long. It was looking like he had been extremely lucky.

Izzy woke up the next morning, Ed could see that he was in pain but he was also so happy to see Izzy alive and awake that he thought he might cry.

“Fuck this hurts,” Izzy grumbled.

“I’m sorry Iz, we’ll get you something to help. I’m just glad to see you awake.”

“I’m glad too,” Izzy said.

#whumptober2023 #no.28 #bloody knife #ofmd #fic #izzy hands #edward teach

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jasmariswonderland · 8 months

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Dreams Adorned In Silk ~ VilxOC

Synopsis: After months of knowing her, Vil thinks it's time to finally time to express to Danica all that he feels for her. And what better way than under a dazzling, firelit sky?

A/N: Vil's new SSR has a death-grip upon my heart. 😭😍😭

Pairings: 👑/🦢

Word Count: 2315

Warnings: A lot of fluff with just the slightest hint of angst.

~~~

With the final descent of the sun, the evening began to take on a cooler temperature. A blessed relief from the scorching heat. They had arrived earlier that afternoon while the sun was still blazing high in the sky and while their silky attire offered stylish comfort, a break from the heat was not unwelcome. Now, nestled together in a private tent some distance down the river and away from the crowds, they prepared for a spectacular night they were sure to enjoy. And for Vil, the moment he’d been greatly anticipating, but simultaneously dreading, had finally come.

In the corner of the tent, sat his fair companion. He watched as she held out her hand, musing over the elegant jeweled bangle circling her wrist. The beginnings of a smile pulled at Vil’s lips, it was something he’d seen her admiring it in the marketplace earlier that day. She said nothing, not wanting to feel like she was imposing on him, but the wistful look in her eyes told him all that he needed to know. When they arrived at their tent a little while ago, the first thing Vil did was surprise Danica with a beautifully crafted gift box. Biting back a smirk at the small gasp and the way her eyes lit up at the sight of the bangle.

“How did you know?” she had asked him. “I was looking at it, true, but…I don’t think…”

“Your lips might not have said you wanted this, but they didn’t have to.” A playful smile caused her cheeks to redden. “The look in your eyes was confirmation enough that you would appreciate if I gave this to you.”

“Ahh, oh Vil-san, thank you!”

The red tint upon her face darkened as she slipped the bangle on her arm. She turned it afew times with her other hand, watching as the gems sparkled, their light jumping from one facet to another. Though she did not realize it, her own eyes were sparkling as well.

“It’s so beautiful, thank you. Thank you!”

Seeing her joy caused a fluttering sensation in his chest. Secretly, it brought him joy as well, seeing her so happy. There were not many instances where Vil could see Danica smile. The last few months had been particularly difficult ones and loath he was to admit it, Vil had been the source of much of her despair.

Things in their world were now beginning to calm down. The VDC had passed, their emotions reconciled and they managed to escape STYX. The Shroud brothers were dealt with and, best of all, Vil’s youthful beauty had been restored after his heroic dive into the underworld. Everything seemed to be returning to normal and today’s venture to Scalding Sands was a wonderful change to their usual routines.

And for Vil, it was even more wonderful that despite all they had been through, Danica was still able to smile at him and enjoy his company just as much as he enjoyed her’s. How nice it was to finally have some time alone with her, without the pressures of school or the expectations of the world breathing down their necks. At that moment, he wasn’t Vil Scheonheit, the international mega celebrity and dorm leader of Pomefiore. He was simply Vil enjoying a vacation with the one he cared about above all others.

“I’ve had so much fun today,” said Danica. “I’m so excited for the fireworks, it will be the perfect ending to a perfect day!”

“I’m glad to hear that, Little Potato,” Vil smiled. “I take it you’re no longer feeling sad?”

“Sad? Why ever would I feel sad for?”

“Well I know a few of your friends were also here today,” he thoughtfully tilted his head. “Iman, Vidaria, Kalim and Cater. Even Trey and Yuulan are here as well. I saw some of the pictures Cater uploaded to Magicam.”

“Yes, I saw the pictures too,” Danica lowered her gaze, which momentarily gave Vil reason for concern. But she ended up smiling. “But I wasn’t sad, I’m…much happier that I got to spend the day with you, Vil-san.”

“Really?” This genuinely surprised Vil, though it also secretly tickled him. “You’re glad you spent the day with me, as opposed to your friends?”

“What? Does that sound very strange?”

“No, no. I don’t mean it that way, it’s just that…well…I figured…”

His voice trailed off, surprisingly at a loss for words. Danica smiled and went on to explain how she could hang out with her friends anytime while they were at school. However with Vil, though they were in the same dorm, their obligations often kept them from spending time together. Especially considering that Vil was a dorm leader and soon to begin preparing for his senior internship. Once the new school year began, they were likely not to see much of each other at all.

“I could always call up Kalim or Cater and arrange a meetup if I wanted to,” she said. “But I value the time I can have with you because…well…” A light red tint returned to her cheeks. “Because it’s so rare that we can be alone, I value this time with you all the more.”

“Danica…”

Vil’s heart began to flutter once more. Over the months, Danica had gradually become more assertive in speaking her mind. She still had her timid moments, but she was finding her voice and her thoughtful astuteness was something that he always found intriguing. But for her to voice how much she valued their time together, well, it was enough for Vil to start feeling rather bold.

He couldn’t deny the close bond they had forged. A most unlikely friendship that Vil never could have anticipated. When he thought how this was the same shy and soft-spoken spudling he was introduced to at the start of the school year, it made him chuckle. What initially began as a curiosity on his part soon blossomed into a genuine respect, eventually giving way to awe and now, something even deeper.

As time passed, he found he could not deny these feelings developing within him. Nor could he deny the immense comfort Danica had provided him during the more recent times of difficulty. When he overblotted, she did not judge him. When his appearance drastically changed after his underworld dive, not once did she flinch. Instead, in both situations, her unwavering support had been his anchor.

Vil was grateful for her growth, her strength, and her newfound confidence. He had come to appreciate her not just as a friend but as someone truly special.

Still, a nagging thought continued to gnaw at him. In his pursuit of beauty, he had been quite ruthless with her at times. His harshness often overwhelmed her, sometimes reducing her to tears. The pressure he placed upon her was insurmountable and he cringed inside thinking of the pain he caused as they were preparing for the VDC. All of this weighed as heavily on his heart as his feelings for her. Could she really accept him after enduring such pain?

Her words were the exact answer he needed. And as the evening became cooler and Danica slowly moved closer to him, Vil found he could not deny his feelings any longer. In his mind, he rehearsed his words, reminding himself that as a professional actor, this shouldn’t be such a difficult thing to do. How many times has he said these words before be it on stage or film? A dozen times at least? This is what his mind told him but in his heart, he knew this would be far from easy, and unlike any other performance he gave, this was real.

Danica was now sitting very close to him, close enough for her to take in the elegant scent of his perfume. It was woody and slightly spicy, but also sweet, perfect for their surroundings and suited Vil very well. She glanced up at him, his brows furrowed and deep in thought, and couldn't help but stare for a few moments. Not too long ago, just to be in the same room as Vil seemed to her like the most harrowing experience in the world. And to look at him was tantamount to looking into the eyes of a god. Time had calmed her anxiety around him and while their closeness still felt unnerving at times, it also made her heart feel strangely warm. As she thought about this, she began turning back around and was surprised by a gentle hand running down her cheek. Vil pulled a lock of hair away from her face, catching her attention.

“Danica, there’s been something I’ve wanted to say to you for a long time.”

“Hmm? What is it, Vil-san?”

“I…well…” he took a deep breath. “First off, I would like to apologize. The first time I attempted to convey this, I did so in an extremely undignified manner.”

“What do you mean?”

“I was extremely selfish and cruel then. But please know, even though I did a very poor job at expressing my feelings, they haven't changed,” Vil smiled a little. “And when I say that I am the only one who sees you for the jewel that you are, I mean that.Truly.”

These words made Danica blush, though they also perplexed her. She couldn’t yet understand what Vil was trying to say but she did notice how he was looking at her. His usual intense gaze was softer and more tender. With his tone lacking its usual authoritative manner. Once again, she asked what he meant by this. But just as he worked up the courage to continue, they were both startled by a loud, booming sound filling the air. Fireworks erupted in a brilliant display.

Like a garden of flowers blooming in the sky, the night was illuminated with glowing color and dazzling light. Danica even reached out to the sky, she’d never seen such large fireworks before and felt they were close enough to touch. In the distance an enchanting, infectious music began to play, filling the air and loud enough for them to hear. Both of them were enraptured by the gorgeous display and Vil momentarily forgot his words, smiling at Danica.

“Would you like to dance with me, Little Potato?” he asked. “You know, it’s a Scalding Sands’ tradition to dance under the fireworks. Kalim told me.”

A bright red tint returned to Danica’s cheeks. “Was that…what you wanted to ask me, Vil-san?”

Of course it wasn’t, but he looked at her teasingly. “Do you want to dance with me or not?”

She eagerly agreed, allowing him to take her hand and pull her to her feet. Under the firelit sky, he guided her through an array of fun and graceful movements that perfectly matched the music. The colorful silks of their attire swirled elegantly with them as they danced, adding themselves to the gorgeous display up above. Vil was a beautiful dancer and the perfect partner, Danica already knew that firsthand. The way he danced with her always left her breathless; every turn, every sway, was captivating. The way he never took his eyes off of her, caused her heart to race with the rhythm of the music.

However, what touched Danica the most, at that moment, was seeing Vil laugh and smile with such natural joy. It was rare to see him smile, even at her. He often kept a stolid expression when he wasn’t glaring with disappointment or smirking with amusement. But a true smile from Vil was almost as rare as him going a day without once having to scold Epel. But because she didn’t often see him smile, when he did, it was all the more special. A beautiful treasure that she held dear to her heart.

It was also quite infectious and Danica found herself smiling with him, sharing in this joy. So deep was this joy that what happened next was as natural as it was spontaneous. Vil stopped spinning her and for a moment, they continued gazing up at the colorful sky before he lifted her chin to face him. He gazed at her thoughtfully and without a word, gently pressed his lips to hers. He half expected her to be shocked or even to pull away, but to his surprise, she didn’t. There was no resistance and Danica slowly wrapped her arms around his neck, kissing him back.

Under the firelit sky, the fireworks weren’t the only thing booming. Though Vil hadn’t yet voiced his feelings, at that moment, he didn’t have to. Their closeness, this kiss, spoke louder than any words he could say. And her response said it all, his love was reciprocated.

~~~

Vil slowly stirred awake, tears dampening his cheeks even before he opened his eyes. His heart ached with the bittersweet residue of the dream that had felt so vivid, so real. He knew what he would find before his eyes opened to confirm it. The empty space beside him in his bed told him that it had indeed all been a dream. A beautiful, silk-adorned dream, and now reality was crashing down upon him.

Cursing his own mind for playing such a cruel trick on him, Vil couldn't help but wonder why he would dream of something so poignant in the first place. That’s when his gaze shifted to the dress form in the corner of his room, adorned with the silky outfit Trey had gifted him, a plethora of vibrant colors and glittery fireworks printed upon the fabric. At the time, gratitude welled up within him for the thoughtful gift, but now it was overshadowed by sadness and regret. How he would have loved to attend and see the fireworks for himself, dancing in the gorgeous silk outfit with Danica by his side. It could have been a perfect date, and the perfect moment to finally express his feelings to her.

As he showered and dressed in his school uniform, Vil continued to contemplate this. He had fallen in love with her, that much was certain. And considering all they had gone through, he was almost certain that she was in love with him as well. Unfortunately, they hadn’t had much opportunity to really discuss their relationship since their return from STYX. The emotions from that harrowing experience were still quite high even a month later, to say nothing of his guilt at how badly he’d treated her before.

He was just about ready to leave for the day, classes would start soon and he had to shift his focus. Vil gleaned out the window of his room, it was a lovely day at least, warm and sunny without a single cloud in the blue sky. His window also overlooked the Pomefiore courtyard and when he glanced down, there she was. Danica sat under one of the apple trees, chatting and laughing with Yuulan, Grim sitting in the latter’s lap. Her laughter was like music to his ears, and it ignited a spark of determination within him.

The time for hesitance had long passed. It was time to seize the moment.

With his phone in hand, Vil quickly wrote up a text to Danica and watched as she received it and checked her phone. The message was simple: a request for her to meet him in the lounge later that evening for a monthly evaluation, something he gave to all freshmen. In truth, the evaluation was merely a pretense for something just as important, but even more special.

#twisted wonderland #twisted wonderland oc #twst oc #pomefiore #twst vil #vil schoenheit #vil x oc #vil schoenheit x oc #otp: vildani #oc: danica #things i write

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shyvioletcat · 2 years

Text

All I Want

Thanks to the anon who sent this in. Based on the song All I Want by Kodaline. I hope you like it. It's a bit rough around the edges though but I hope it still passes the test.

~~~~~

Rowan had been playing a dangerous game. His friendship with Aelin Galathynius had been a happy accident, one that hadn’t started out easily but eventually had transformed his life. Aelin was all fire and spirit and Rowan was a fool to fight what he felt for so long. She was now his best friend, the person that he went to with every good and bad thing life threw at him. His best friend who had lit up his life had received an opportunity of a lifetime and was now following her dreams and moving halfway across the world. His best friend that he had fallen in love with.

Rowan had gone and lost the game.

This wasn’t just a crush, not some fleeting infatuation that he would be able to talk himself out of. This was a love Rowan felt deep in his soul and it shook him to his very core. How could it not? Aelin had changed him, he’d been a sorry bastard before he met her. Life had dealt him a poor hand and instead of rising above it he had let it drag him down into a pit so dark he no longer saw the point in fighting. Then Aelin appeared, such a bright light and she had reached for him even when he pushed her away again and again. She had helped him out of the dark and he had fallen in love with her for it.

He watched her now, as she flitted around his room, packing the last of her things. A few months ago after an ugly breakup Aelin had arrived knocking on his door late one night asking for a place to stay. Unable to deny her Rowan had instantly let her in, much to the dismay of his roommate. But Lorcan wasn’t a hard enough man to kick her out, so for months she had lived with him here in this little room, sleeping in his bed and stealing his clothes. They had been some of the happiest months of his life.

“I’m taking this, by the way,” Aelin held up a green t-shirt of his, proving his point. “I’ve decided I need it.”

Rowan rolled his eyes at her from where he sat on the bed, but it had no bite. She could take anything she wanted. All he wanted was for her to take him, his body, his soul, the life he had left to live. He wanted to share every moment with her forever. Who was he kidding… Aelin already owned every part of him and she didn’t even know it.

She stuffed that item of clothing into her suitcase and zipped it up, putting her hands on her hips to survey her handiwork. As Rowan looked at her the words were on the tip of his tongue. So easily he could tell her how he felt, and maybe by some chance Aelin might feel the same. But then what would happen? She was leaving in a matter of hours, would he expect her to stay? Would she want to? This adventure she was setting out on was an adventure of a lifetime. Working as an editor to an author she admired, Rowan was not about to ruin that for her. He wouldn’t be that cruel—instead he would accept his own cruel fate.

“Ah, perfect timing,” Aelin said, checking her phone. “Aedion is here. Chuck anything else you find in a box and my Dad will pick it up.”

“Yeah, okay,” Rowan replied, not saying that he hated to see her go.

Aelin smiled at him. “I’m sure you’ll be glad to see me go.”

Rowan shook his head, “Never, Aelin.”

“Liar,” she accused and then she launched herself at him, arms thrown around his neck.

Rowan held her close—not wanting to let her go. He had to, he had to for her own happiness.

“Goodbye, Rowan,” Aelin said, her voice muffled from being pressed into his shoulder. He died a little on the inside at the gentle farewell.

“Goodbye, Aelin.” There was a heartbreaking finality to his words.

Aelin pulled back and in a matter of minutes she was gone, having given him a final wave from the doorway. All Rowan had done was sit back down on his bed and dwell in the silence of his room. He didn’t know how long he’d sat there, misery weighing heavily on him. Day turned into night and his thoughts turned just as dark. Aelin would have called him dramatic. But she had brought out the best of him, a part he had never seen before. Rowan hoped for everyone’s sake he wouldn’t lose it now Aelin was gone.

All he wanted was nothing more than to hear her knocking at his door like she had once before.

“What are you doing?”

Rowan’s head snapped up to see Lorcan standing in his doorway. “Piss off.”

“Piss off yourself,” Lorcan replied. “I don’t even know what you’re doing here.”

“What?”

“You're just going to destroy yourself again, when the answer is simple. Go and get her,” Lorcan said.

What Lorcan had said caught Rowan entirely off guard. Lorcan was not Aelin’s biggest fan, he didn’t even like the woman. And for him to encourage Rowan to chase after her…

“I’ll not watch that again. Regardless of my own feelings, she’s the one for you. Don’t let her leave without telling her how you feel,” Lorcan explained even though admitting it looked like it caused him some amount of pain.

Rowan felt his stomach sink, this was just yet another example of his stupidity. “You’re right. Gods, you’re right.”

Rowan snatched up his wallet and keys, his phone already in his pocket. Each second of drive to the airport was torture and he prayed to every god that was listening that her plane hadn’t left. It all passed in a blur but soon enough he was parking his car, fumbling with his keys to lock it, and then he was running.

The way he ran through the airport was made for a film screen. He was flying as fast as his feet would carry him, trying his hardest not to ram into the people around him. A few times his shoulder knocked with another’s and Rowan apologised before he moved on. Security slowed him down the most but he used that time to check the screens around him for Aelin’s gate. 2A, she would be boarding her plane at gate 2A.

With his few belongings handed back to him, Rowan was running again. He had to reach her, this was his chance. His only chance. Holding true to the film like saga Rowan found himself in, Aelin’s flight was called for final boarding. The signage for the right gate lit up in front of him and Rowan ran, hoping Aelin had waited until the end to board like she usually did.

Then he saw her, fiddling with her earphones and nearly at the front of the line. Aelin looked around, a small smile on her face. That smile faltered a little as she saw him, and then it spread wider. She stepped out of line, coming towards him with her carry-on luggage rolling behind her. Rowan was out of breath and panting when he stopped before her.

“Did I forget something?” She asked and Rowan just shook his head. “Then what—”

“I love you, Aelin,” Rowan said. “I love you, with all that I am.”

There was a horrifying moment of silence where she just gaped at him.

“Rowan, I—” this time she shook her head.

“I should have told you earlier, I was an idiot not to,” Rowan’s voice was getting stronger with every word. “I’ve loved you longer than I should have and I couldn't let you go without saying something.”

“You are an idiot,” Aelin said. “I… you waited until now?”

“I’m sorry,” Rowan breathed as the full weight of what he was doing crashed down on him. “I should have told you earlier.”

“You think?” Aelin’s tone carried a hint of bitterness. “Now?”

“Please, Aelin—“

“I have to go,” Aelin cut him off. Rowan saw the tears in her eyes as she looked up at him. “I have to go.”

She turned and Rowan felt his heart fracture, getting deeper with every step she took away from him. And then she stopped, and Rowan’s heart stuttered into a frantic beat as he waited for her to turn around a look at him, just one last time just so he could get some hint of what she felt.

She didn’t though, Aelin just shook her head again and kept walking. Rowan could only watch as she handed over her boarding pass and walked out of his life. She had been gone from his sight for a few minutes before he could rouse himself to move. All the adrenaline left his body and the walk back to his car was slow. Aelin was gone, Rowan had lost the gamble he’d taken and felt like he might pay for it for the rest of his life.

~~~~~

It had been weeks since Aelin had left and Rowan hadn’t heard from her. In the first few days he’d sent her some texts and received no reply. He had to check in with Aedion to see that she had arrived in Antica safely. She had, but evidently she just didn’t want to speak to him. Rowan was now only existing on instinct. He went to work when he had to, ate when needed to, but once again the motivational spark from his life was gone. At night he would lie in the now too empty bed and cry. By morning those tears would dry by morning and he would do it all again. He was functioning, if only just barely.

Tonight his bed was once again the place of choice to wallow in his misery. Rowan’s stomach was aching a little telling him that it was time to find something for dinner. Lorcan had been kind enough to feed him if was home, but tonight his roommate had taken his girlfriend out on a date. Thinking about that had led Rowan to a thought he was working hard to banish, but the truth of it kept it stuck. It was like a splinter he couldn’t remove as it dug into his skin and stung.

If he could only see her face one more time Rowan might be all right. Maybe it would be enough for him so he could let her go completely and do what he needed to do. All he needed to do was find somebody like Aelin and more on.

Rowan was kidding himself, he never would. No one would ever take her place—no one would ever compare to who Aelin was.

The apartment was so silent that he easily heard the knocking on the door. Rowan left it for a bit not caring enough to get up, but then it started again and more urgently. There was a chance whoever was at the door wouldn’t go away until they got an answer so Rowan pushed himself off the bed and left the dark solitude of his room.

As predicted the knocking did not stop, Rowan murmuring, “I’m coming, I’m coming,” as he walked through the apartment.

Whoever was banging on the door was going to get an earful as the wooden slab practically shook on the hinges. Rowan grabbed the door handle and swung the door open, ready to lay ino the unfortunate person on the other side.

“What do you—” Rowan stumbled back when he saw who was waiting for him. “Aelin?”

She was a few steps away, breathing hard as she glared up at him. Aelin looked angry and Rowan suspected that he would be the one to get told off before she surprised him by storming over to him and pulling him down by the collar—kissing him hard on the mouth.

“I love you, too,” she said, pulling away just enough so she could get the words out. “I love you too, you absolute idiot.”

Rowan was stunned, then he was leaning down to kiss her again and she willingly let him.

“What are you doing here?” Rowan breathed, not quite believing she was here.

“I’m here for you,” Aelin told him.

Rowan stood straighter so he could look at Aelin and read her face. “You never said a word, I texted you and… but you’re here?”

“Well, having you confess your love for me moments before I had to get on a flight was a lot to take in and I needed a little time to think,” Aelin explained. “And I was terrified. I’ve loved you for a long time, Rowan. I was scared that if I said anything it would ruin what we had and then you confessed first and I just panicked. Because I still didn’t want to ruin our friendship if we jumped into this too quickly. And chasing after me at the very last second was a bit of a dick move.”

Rowan let out a nervous laugh. “It was, wasn’t it. To shift the blame, Lorcan told me to do it.”

Aelin tipped her head back and her laugh was full and the sound revived something in Rowan’s soul. “Of course he did.”

“What about your job?” Rowan asked, still holding Aelin close like bringing up the thing that had taken her from him in the first place might whisk her away again.

Aelin’s hands twined together behind his neck. “Turns out my most favourite author is a bit of a bastard to work with so took advantage of the grace period in my contract and left.”

“To come back?” Rowan said, hope swelling in his chest.

Aelin nodded. “To come back home, to you.”

Rowan couldn’t help it, he swept Aelin into another. As his world righted itself, clarity hit him. This woman in his arms, she was all he would ever want. And he would work his hardest to never lose her again.

~~~~~

Tags: @fucking-winchester-trash // @literary-licorice // @galyxsy // @tangledraysofsunshine // @highqueenofelfhame // @3am-reading // @soup-that-is-too-hawt // @aelinfire-bringer // @nalgenewhore // @highladyofthesith // @http-itsrebecca // @sleep-and-books // @alifletcher2012 // @westofmoon // @sleeping-and-books // @ttakeitbacknoww // @armixers-unite // @mariamuses // @chocolate-eating-bitch-queen // @velarian-trash // @queenofxhearts // @heroesofterrasen // @highladyofstoriesandmusic // @empire-of-wildfire // @camerooonchiu // @crackedship // @lowhangingtreebranches // @over300books // @yourwhisperingshadows // @thesirenwashere // @tswaney17 // @impossiblescissorspeachpaper // @cat5313 // @judelovescardan // @flowerspringsea // @chaoticskyy // @the-regal-warrior // @fanfictrash3000 // @blueeyes425 // @starseternalnighttriumphant // @bamchickawowow // @thehuntressofmoon // @giorgia-the-trashpanda // @flora-and-fae // @thereaderandfangirl // @illyrian-bookworm // @chemicha // @meltalgel // @gay-book-nerd // @that-odd-puzzle-piece // @i-love-all-books // @in-love-with-caramel-macchiato // @girl-who-reads-the-books // @hizqueen4life // @the-third-me // @1islessthan3books // @bestmelle // @cursebreaker29 // @b00kworm // @superspiritfestival // @aesthetics-11 // @maastrash // @mynewdreamwasyou // @the-last-apprentice // @charincharge // @firestarsandseneschals // @scarznstars // @absolute-dissapointment // @thesurielships // @df3ndyr // @trinitybailey2003 // @gwynethhberdara // @booknerdproblems // @larisssss // @sevenfreckles-for-sevenloves // @rolltide7 // @scandinavianromantic // @tillyrubes10 // @starwarsslytherin // @minaidss // @paytin77 // @jesstargaryenqueen // @anntheintrovert // @starbornvalkyrie // @loudphantomdragon // @woollycat22 // @claralady // @perseusannabeth // @fangirlprincess09 // @maddymelv // @sierrareads // @more-espresso-less-depresso-xx // @jlinez // @lysandra-ghost-leopard // @rowaelinismyotp // @pullnpeeltwizzlers // @anne-reads // @jadeaffliction // @gracie-rosee // @elriel4life // @rowaelinrambling // @tothestarswholistentodreamers // @thenerdandfandoms // @castielspelvis // @swankii-art-teacher // @grandma-noob-lord // @vanzetanze // @highlady-brittney // @story-scribbler // @linguine-panini // @pastasiren // @themoonthestarsthesuriel // @silentquartz // @live-the-fangirl-life // @whimsicallyreading // @littleboxofthunder // @empress-ofbloodshed // @booksbqueen // @rowanwhitethornisbae // @charlizeed // @feysand-loml // @aelin-queen-of-terrasen // @alyx801 // @amandaswallowtail // @louiseleblancdiggory // @abookishfreak // @danibutterr // @thegreyj // @lizzyfirebringer // @endlessdaydream // @magnifique1807

#rowaelin fanfiction #throne of glass fanfiction #rowan just being a bit dumb for however many words #I dunno this isn't that great but I guess it's just okay

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thepaintedlady00 · 1 year

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Can I request that me and Morpheus are husband and wife. But I’m from Krypton like supergirl and he doesn’t know and I protect him and he is very sweet and the people who want to hurt him tries to hurt me and uses green kryptonite which causes me to pass out and he catches me and carries me to our shared bedroom and waits until I wake up and I finally tell him my real identity (sorry if I can’t spell I’m dyslexic)

This is SO interesting! I'm excited to get to explore an idea that I really haven't seen much of! I hope you enjoy it!

Keeping a secret from your husband had been difficult when you'd first begun dating. It was near impossible now. With every quick dash you made you protect him when danger arose you feared he'd catch onto your odd behavior and be angry with you. But, he only ever seemed glad that you were there beside him unharmed.

There were always certain dangers walking around the Waking World, even with the power the two of you harbored. Magic was almost always growing and it felt as though the individuals keen on seeing you fall managed to get their hands on new shards of your destroyed planet as well. Still, both of you were determined to live your lives as you saw fit and that often meant exploring the human world together.

You wanted to tell him about your true nature, had for some time now, but a part of you feared his reaction to such news. To you it seemed Morpheus loved your humanity, your fragile nature and you were neither human nor fragile. There had been moments where you'd begun to broach the subject but had ultimately stopped yourself from committing to it fully. Guilt gnawed away at you bit by bit each day until at last you were confronted with no other option.

The men that attacked you did not look familiar, but they seemed to know exactly who they were up against wielding magic aimed at your husband. At first he'd shielded you behind him, even told you to leave him behind while he dealt with the attackers, but you'd not leave him. One if the men ran towards you only to be knocked back by your fist.

Dream looked at you with wonder then, watched you fight with strength and speed, yo feet looking as though they didn't even touch the ground at times. He'd always suspected there was more to you than he knew, but he'd not imagined this. As their numbers dwindled he approached you.

"Are you hurt?" You asked one another in unison.

Your smile brought one to his lips as well, but as he took a step toward you a green light filled the alley and appeared to have some effect on you. You all but crumpled to the ground, only just being caught in his arms. "The stone..." You mumbled. "Kryptonite..."

Dream did not waste another moment before whisking both of you back to The Dreaming. He laid you down on the bed and carefully tended to you. While you slept he had Lucienne bring him anything she could find on this stone you spoke of, kryptonite. He poured over the new information for hours before you awoke.

"My love," he whispered rushing to your side. "I was worried for you!"

"Sorry," you answered carefully sitting up. "I'm fine. The effects have mostly worn off."

Morpheus sat beside you, holding your hand in his. "I have done much research, but I'd like you to have a chance to speak first... To explain what you wish to me."

"I'm sorry," you said first. "I should have told you long ago... I just... I couldn't, can't, bear the thought of losing you."

"I would not have married you if there had been any doubt about my feelings. This," he gestured to the books strewn about. "It changes nothing."

You could see the honesty in his eyes, hear it in his voice. "I am from a planet far from here... One that was called Krypton..."

From that day forward there were no secrets between the two of you. From that day forward you and your husband lived your lives in harmony with each other's true nature.

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morimementa · 6 months

Text

@thefirstghosthunter Here's the final part! I hope you like it!

TW: Mpreg.

Some of the unspoken tension that had been filling up the room dissipated. Void rotated his neck, posture now more relaxed. His back felt softer now, less like concrete and more like flesh. Judging by the contented hum he made when you circled your thumbs over his spine, he was feeling it too.

“If this had to happen, I’m glad you were there to mitigate it,” He admitted.

You patted his back. “I’m happy to help.”

Void swung his legs over the side of the bed and tried to stand. It took a second try, but he was up before you could offer your help.

“I’m fine,�� He reassured you as you reached for him. “I just need to use the bathroom. This thing’s heavy,” you watched as he went into the adjoining bathroom, then turned away as the door shut.

You kicked at the carpet, suddenly bereft of distractions. It’d been so long since you had a conversation with someone that wasn’t purely business. Despite the apprehension and the dredged-up trauma, you’d enjoyed it. it’d been pleasant to talk to someone who understood what you were going through. It was like having an extra set of hands to help carry a huge weight. The knot of anxiety that had tied up your heart since your imprisonment had loosened. On impulse, you pulled the completed scarf out of your bag and held it in your lap. Your creations had a funny way of choosing their owners and you had a feeling this one had chosen your new friend.

At least, you hoped that was what he was. The detective wasn’t out of the woods yet. You had to prioritize his care over your desire for companionship.

Void soon emerged. He stretched as he came back into the room. “Thanks again for the back rub. I’ve been needing that for a while.”

You beamed at the praise.

“Do you need anything else?” You asked. “Are you hungry?”

He shook his head. “I’m good, thanks. Just sore, really.” He looped his arms under his belly. “I swear this thing’s gotten bigger in the last five minutes.”

You winced. “That’s got to be painful.”

“I’ve had worse.” He said it lightly, but it made your heart drop into your shoes. You knew full well how much ground worse could cover.

“Where are you on the pain scale?” You fiddled with the scarf, nervous about his answer. He sat down next to you.

“2 at most,” Void rolled his shoulders. “It’s manageable. Nothing compared to werewolf bites.”

You faltered. “You…You got bit by a werewolf? More than once?!”

He sounded like he was smiling. “The mask protected me. You know, I’m surprised you’re not put off by it.”

You relaxed your grip on the scarf. “Oh, I’ve seen anomalous objects before. Granted, I made most of them. Did you make yours?”

“No, I don’t have your abilities.” He sat down next you, bracing his back with one hand. “I recovered it on one of my missions. It’s an interesting story if you’d like to h-ah…” He trailed off, wincing.

You sat bolt upright and dropped your project to reach for him. “What?! What’s wrong?”

“No, no, I’m fine,” He touched the side of his belly with a grimace. “It’s just…I think it might be kicking.”

“Oh,” You reached for him, fingertips brushing his arm. “Are you sure?”

He took your hand and pressed your palm against the spot. Your heart flip-flopped as you felt and saw his stomach move. Judging from the grunt of discomfort, it wasn’t much better on his end. You scowled, suddenly angry at the thing that was causing your new friend so much pain. You rubbed the spot, trying to calm it down. Void exhaled shakily as it kicked again, shifting his weight to his haunches.

“That’s a good sign, I think.” He said, voice strained. “Fetal movement like this generally only happens in the third trimester.”

You nodded in agreement. “You’re doing well. Most people who dealt with this had panic attacks at this point!”

“’M not surprised.”

Void’s breathing had gone deep and a little unsteady. His hand remained over yours and you could feel him squeezing a little. The creature was more active now and you jumped as it prodded harder.

“It,” he cringed at the next kick. “It’s not painful, it just…It feels strange.”

You winced at the tremor in his voice. It took a valiant effort on your part to not whisper death threats to an unborn stork. You poked his stomach.

“Knock it off!” You said with as much authority as you could muster, earning a quickly muffled laugh from Void.

“That tickled. Are you trying to assert dominance or something?”

“Is it working?”

“I don’t think it cares.” Another kick. “Yup. It has a mind of its own.”

You glared at the bump. “Stupid birds.”

“Stupid birds indeed.”

You ran your thumb over the spot it was kicking and Void shuddered. You jerked away as if you’d touched a hot stove.

“I’m sorry!” you babbled. “I know I’ve been really touchy with you, and it’s not appropriate considering we just met-.”

“------,” Void speaking your name brought your rant to a halt. “You misunderstand. I like it when you touch me. I,” he sighed. “I don’t get a whole lot of physical contact. I didn’t realize how much I’d missed it until now.”

“Yeah, I can relate. I had a feeling your job was isolating, detective.”

“Simon.” Void murmured. You blinked in surprise.

“Sorry?”

“My name’s Simon.” Was...was he blushing through the mask? “I figure this puts us on a first name basis.”

You sat silent for a moment, absorbing the new information.

“Simon,” you said after you’d collected your thoughts. “Would it help if I held you?”

Simon wrung his hands, looking away as he fought an internal battle. Finally, his eyes met yours.

“Yes,” It was almost too quiet to hear. “Yes, it would.”

He scooted back on the bed, mindful of the bump. You crawled over the mattress to lay beside him. Simon settled into the pillow mountain with a sigh. Hesitantly, you reached across the gap between you two, careful to move slowly to make sure every touch was permitted. Simon edged closer to you, resting his head on your shoulder. Wrapping your arms around him, you eased yourself under him so the bump rested on your flank. You were hoping to shoulder some of the burden. Judging from how he relaxed under your touch, it’d worked. You noted that the creature had stopped kicking, which was encouraging. He nestled into the crook of your neck, hair tickling your chin.

“How do people do this for 9 months? I’ve been at it two hours and I’m exhausted.”

“I’m guessing the nap didn’t help?”

“Being unconscious isn’t the same thing as having a nap. Trust me, I know the difference.”

You began to stroke Simon’s hair. “You’ve most likely got a little more time before labor starts if you need to rest.”

“Yeah,” he yawned. “That sounds like a plan. -----?”

“Yes?”

“Thank you. I wouldn’t have wanted to do this on my own.” Simon slung an arm around you, pulling you in. Feeling brave, you decided to ask the question that had been on your mind.

“Does this make us friends?”

Void laughed. “Yeah. Yeah, it does. Just don’t tell Kris we cuddled in a hotel room. She’d never let me live it down.”

“My lips are sealed,” You promised. With your free hand, you picked up the scarf and laid it around his shoulders. He glanced at it quizzically.

“What’s this?”

“All my friends get handmade stuff. It’s the rules.”

“Is that so?” Void stroked the soft wool, then brought it closer to his face to admire the stitches. He rubbed it against his cheek, happiness radiating from under his mask. “Thank you, it’s lovely.”

He sighed, letting the scarf go to put his head back on your shoulder. You could see he was struggling to stay awake now. He was leaning more heavily on you, arm heavy on your torso. You chuckled.

“Rest, Simon.” You petted his hair. “I’ll keep watch.”

Those were the words he’d been waiting for. He closed his eyes, surrendering to sleep. You smiled as he began to snore softly. It encouraged you to think he trusted you so completely. You could get used to this whole “having friends” thing. With Simon sleeping in your embrace, you felt like you could take on the world. You stretched your right arm out, barely managing to reach the bedside light to dim it. Ordinarily, you would have been tempted to leave it, but not now.

The dark was far less scary with a friend.

Epilogue

“-----?”

“Yes?”

“My water just broke.”

“…I’ll get the towels.”

#text post #fanfiction #mpreg #TW: pregnancy #This is not K/ink please do not tag as such #Detective Void #fluff

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betelgeusessonajblog · 1 year

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Story for Angel

@thelostandforgottenangel

It had been months since Carlos was murdered by someone unknown, AJ had fallen into a deep depression after losing his father. He had stopped taking care of himself whilst Raph and the others had began searching for clues as to who had done it.

AJ’s depression got to the point where he wasn’t sleeping anymore and began relying heavily on his elixirs to keep him awake and going. At first it wasn’t obvious to them he hadn’t slept but after a while they would begin to suspect something was up.

One night Mikey had been asked by Master Splinter to check in on AJ and see how he was doing whilst Raph was out with Leo. Mikey agreed to it and headed to AJ and, Raph’s place.

He began searching for AJ and had found him passed out, looking severely sick. But not normal sick, something was definitely off. When Mikey got closer, he saw that AJ had blood stains around his mouth and a puddle of blood next to him.

He quickly scooped AJ up and called for Donnie to get there ASAP before he took the lizard to his and Raph’s room then laid him on the bed. Mikey cleaned up AJ’s mouth a bit, he was panicked out of his mind right now. Donnie did show up via a portal with Raven following behind him.

The pair quickly began working on AJ, trying to help him as best they could. Hours passed, they couldn’t figure out what was making AJ so sick. Donnie suggests that they look around, see if there was something AJ was hiding.

The trio split up and began looking around AJ and, Raph’s place. Raven was the one to find AJ’s bottles of elixirs hidden in a small hidden panel under the floorboards. Donnie and her examined it and ended up figuring out that AJ was suffering from magic poisoning.

It took Raven trying a new spell she had been studying that would extract it from AJ’s system before there was even a slight change. Donnie had called Raph and told him about what had happened with AJ.

Raph and, Leo showed up after a few minutes via a portal that Raven had created for them, Raph sat on the bed and held AJ’s hand. He hated seeing AJ like this, he was a bit angry that AJ kept silent but also did understand. AJ hadn’t dealt with grief like this before....

He kisses AJ’s forehead gently and whispered into his ear that he was right there for AJ and wasn’t leaving his side. Days passed before AJ began to wake up, he was very confused for a few moments before realising where he was then he spotted his husband “..R...Raph??” Raph smiled a little hearing AJ’s voice “Hey, crazy.....”

“what....what happened?” AJ asked as he rubs his eyes

“Mikey found you passed out, you were really sick....Raven said it was magic poisoning....” Raph explained as he took AJ’s hand “...Alex why didn’t you say something to me sooner?”

AJ’s eyes teared up a little “I just....I didn’t know what to say....I kept having these nightmares......Carlos was haunting me, blaming me for everything that happened, blaming me for him being killed....”

Raph frowned hearing what had been going through AJ’s mind, he wraps his arms around his husband gently as AJ began sobbing into Raph’s arms. Raph rubbed AJ’s back gently and kissed his cheek, quietly reassuring AJ it wasn’t his fault.

Just then Donnie came into the bedroom “Alex, you’re finally awake. I’m glad...how you feeling?”

“Hey, Don...I’m...I’m okay sore though....still feel weak...” AJ replied as he sat up in his bed a little

“I’d normally scold you for being so....but I get it....you don’t know how to grieve this. You haven’t lost someone like this before....” Donnie said before Raven came running down the hallway “Guys I....OH! Uncle Alex you’re awake.” she said with a small smile

“Is something wrong, Rae?” AJ asked to which Raven quickly tried to deny it but sighed and nodded “Ye...Yeah something’s wrong...” she said as she pulled out a computer and turned the screen on.

The first thing that popped up was Shredder’s face and the Foot behind him “Shredder? What the fuck’s he doing?” AJ asked

“It’s not just the computer it’s on, it’s on the TV’s too...he’s broadcasting something.” Raven replied before Shredder suddenly spoke up

"A few months ago the body of someone dear to the turtles and the ghost lizard was found strung up and brutally murdered. I think enough time has passed to say I was the one that killed him. Karai stumbled across him and befriended him with the purpose of taking him and ending his miserable existence.” Shredder said as he motioned to Karai behind him

AJ’s heart sank hearing those words, Carlos was murdered by the Shredder....Luckily Donnie and Raven had quickly been working to trace where Shredder was. The only time they stopped was upon hearing his confession.

AJ forced himself out of bed and began to get dressed, the others tried to stop him remind him he was still sick but AJ didn’t care, he wanted payback for what happened to Carlos, his father. Raph knew he wasn’t going to convince AJ to rest so he agreed to take the lizard with them but AJ wasn’t going to fight alone.

It took a while before they arrived at the building Shredder was hiding out in and ,using the elevator, they quickly made their way to the top floor where they had figured out Shredder was hiding. There was no one guarding the entrance, no one waiting for them...it had to be a trap.

the group carefully made their way out the elevator and began walking slowly down the hallway towards where the Shredder should be. Leo slowly opens the door the looks inside “...empty...” he said in a hushed tone.

AJ looks inside, sure enough....empty. He growls a little then looks around “If they aren’t in there then....”

“Rooftop.” Raven and, Donnie said before looking around and found a panel on a wall, they opened it up revealing a switch that leads up to the rooftop “Lets go....” Leo said before leading them upstairs to the rooftop then walked outside and there he was, the Shredder.

They cautiously walked towards him, each drawing their weapons only to be quickly surrounded by the Foot, they seemed to be way more than usual. The Foot managed to grab everyone, several of them dragging AJ forward towards the Shredder whom turned around and walked towards AJ as he struggled to get free.

Shredder didn’t say anything at first as he looked down at AJ but then leaned forward and said into AJ’s ear “You must want to know why I would hurt your precious father, right?”

“Why him? Out of everyone why...” AJ began speaking only for Shredder to interrupt him.

“Isn’t obvious? I did it....to get to you....to weaken you....to make you so weak you wouldn’t be able to recover or come back from death. It WAS your fault, you got involved with those foolish turtles, you foiled numerous plans of mine. Now your father has paid the price.” Shredder explained before standing up straight as AJ began tearing up.

Shredder holds up his twin blades “Now....I think it’s time to finally be rid of a pest.” he raises his hand into the air, ready to strike AJ.

AJ closes his eyes knowing that this was the end....his body was too weak to comeback from this, he wasn’t going to be able to revive in his current state.

As the Shredder was about to strike, a large glowing red portal opened above them. Shredder stopped in his tracks and looked up. Just then the sound of an engine came through the portal and out came a red motorcycle with someone riding atop of it, the figure launches himself at the Shredder and uses the wheel to smack him backwards away from AJ. (X)

Everyone stared in shock as the motorcycle slides across the floor, akin to a scene from the movie Akira. The figure revs the engine a little then puts his foot down. He gets off the motorcycle slowly, the figure was wearing a leather jacket, he had fingerless gloves on his hands, a pair of jeans with various slashes on it, a chain was hanging off the belt and was wearing a white tank top.

No one could figure out who the figure was from where they were stood. He didn’t remove his helmet, he did look around slowly before he grabbed something from his side, it was a gun but a very weird looking one.

Before Shredder could react, the mystery person quickly fired several shots at the Foot soldiers that were holding the turtles, Raven and, AJ. The guy walks towards AJ and looks down at him “Ya alright?”

AJ looks up at the guy and nods slowly “Who....” the guy grabs his helmet and takes it off, tossing it to the side revealing a teenage turtle underneath....but....he...also had lizard like features. He had spikes on his head, lizard like eyes and a short lizard like tail “Names CJ.”

“CJ?” AJ repeated to which the hybrid nodded

“Named after my grandpa....Carlos.” CJ replied to which AJ’s jaw quickly dropped realising that this....was his son...his FUTURE Son

“You....but...but why are you...?” AJ began to ask as CJ turned his head to the Shredder.

“Explanations in a few minutes.” CJ interrupted as he helps AJ up as Raph ran over and grabbed hold of AJ, pulling him backwards a bit to the others. CJ holds up his gun “Now then back to business....” he begins firing the gun again at the Shredder and the Foot Soldiers, some soldiers tried to attack CJ but he quickly used his powers to knock them back. The fight was rather one sided as it caused the Shredder and Foot to retreat.

AJ and the others turned their attention to CJ whom walks towards them. Raph looks at the others then to CJ “Thanks....uh...who....”

“I’m CJ, I’m yer son from the future.” CJ replied causing everyone’s jaws to drop, minus AJ whom had figured it out “MY SON!?” Raph shouted as he walked forward and began looking CJ over “But....how...I...” CJ looks at AJ “You wanted to know why I’m here. I came here to save ya, pops.”

“To save Me?” AJ repeated as CJ nodded a little

“See...you uh....you died tonight....where I came from, you were too weak to come back from it....Dad explained to me that ya had Ghost Powers, like I do. But cause you were too weak from magic Poisoning you didn’t revive this time. Dad grieved ya for a year....and Aunt Raven had an idea....use some of yer DNA with his and I was created. Dad raised me for years told me stories about ya when I was a kid. One night when I was 10 he, Uncle Leo, Uncle Donnie, Uncle Mikey and, Aunt Raven went out on a mission and....they never came back...big Bro went searching....found out Shredder had wiped you guys out. He wanted to find Shredder, get revenge on ‘im for it...but LH begged him not to, he didn’t want to lose Big Bro so he agreed, we grieved a lot and they decided to move to that old cabin away from everythin’. Grandpa Splinter took me in and raised me, taught me how to defend myself. That was 8 years ago for me...” CJ explained without stopping to take a breath

AJ and, Raph quickly wrapped their arms around CJ and hugged him tightly “Do you have to leave soon?” AJ asked, CJ shook his head “Nah...I’m gonna stick around for a couple weeks....till yer better pops.”

The others came over and welcomed their Nephew from the Future before they headed back to the lair. What had started off as an awful night had turned into something amazing after finding out AJ and, Raph had a son together from the future. And how he had come to stop AJ from being killed. He was a force from the Future, one that was going to be a big help whilst AJ recovered.

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aricazorel · 2 years

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Rebecca Shepard prompts

#8 "You don’t have to tell me anything. We can just sit here."

#3 "Wait! Don’t pull away yet."

Becca Shepard x Kaidan Alenko

ME3, Act 2, post-Citadel siege, 1957 words

from this prompt list

The Normandy was lightyears away from the Citadel, yet the effects of the Cerberus siege travelled with the ship. Most of the crew still stunned that the human extremist group would be so bold. But Rebecca Shepard wasn’t most people. She knew full well what lengths The Illusive Man would go to. Unfortunately, his actions now threatened to interfere with the galaxy’s united ability to win against the Reapers. The siege may have been a failure, but TIM always had a backup plan. But what was it?

Shepard shook her head, clearing away those thoughts. She wasn’t alone in trying to figure out the enemy’s ultimate goals this time. She had a team—one she’d put together without outside interference and hadn’t been manipulated or bribed to serve with her. Loyal. 100%. From the beginning. No one having to prove anything to anyone this time.

Now was the time to work on other things. Other concerns that would only grow larger if not dealt with during the down time between missions. It was better to face it head on instead of waiting for the doubts and fears to well up during the quiet moments. And if there was anything she had learned in recent years, it was not to let the quiet times become your enemy.

So now she stood outside the door to the observation lounge. The place Major Kaidan Alenko, second human Specter, had been spending most of his down time since rejoining the Normandy’s crew. Kaidan had always been one to live inside his head given the opportunity and the conversation they’d had in that room after his return proved he hadn’t changed much. Concern for his mom, his students, and the galaxy at large weighed on him. Not knowing the fate of his father did as well. But now he was in a position to do something to help. To do something about it all. A wish turned reality after his hospital stay.

Yet Shepard still had a concern. The siege had caused them to point weapons at one another. When he had asked to rejoin the SR-2 they’d discussed it, yes. Case closed, right? Maybe between two officers. But between two people trying to find their way back to one another? The Commander wasn’t so sure about that part.

Gathering up her courage for whatever lay ahead, the N7 opened the door to the lounge half expecting the Major to be standing in front of the large window again. Instead, she saw him sitting on the couch with a data pad in hand. A laptop sat opened beside him and on the other side several more data pads laid haphazardly on the cushions. He looked up to see who had entered as the door hissed shut behind her.

His expression morphed quickly from curiosity to delight as he said, “Shepard? What brings you here?”

She tilted her head, glad to know her presence didn’t cause him any distress. It was an irrational fear but one she still hadn’t been able to shake. “You, actually. I had some downtime, but I see you’re busy. I’ll catch you another time.”

As she turned to go, stamping down the rush of disappointment that threatened to overwhelm her, his voice called back to her, “Hey! Wait! I’m not that busy.”

“It’s okay,” she said as she palmed opened the door control. “I don’t want to intrude.”

A snort sounded from behind her as the Commander heard him shuffle around the data pads. “You’re not intruding, Shepard, and even if you were, maybe I want you to.”

The Specter paused misstep, glancing back at an amused and completely serious Major. When she failed to proceed through the door, it shut ensuring that the two specters were once again alone. Unable to form a coherent sentence herself, Kaidan smirked as he motioned to the now cleared off cushion beside him. “You just gonna stand there or are you gonna sit down on this surprisingly comfortable couch?”

Blinking away her surprise, the N7 finally found her voice. “The retrofit didn’t do away with all the improvements to the Normandy’s design.”

“I suppose Cerberus can’t be all bad but plush cushioned couches don’t make up for all the crap they’ve done,” he noted as he tilted his head. “But that’s not why you’re here or why you’re nervous now.”

She shook her head, deciding to go with a simple, honest answer first. “I wanted to see how you’re doing.”

“I’m good considering everything,” he replied as he motioned around to the mess he’d been focused on before her arrival. “Just going over leads on my kids and filling out Specter reports. You never mentioned this much paperwork on the SR-1.”

The Commander actually found herself laughing as she replied, “I made a lot of templates, so it became more of a fill-in-the-blank thing. Saves a lot of time.”

“Mind sharing?” he asked hopefully, whiskey brown eyes giving her the look she’d never been able to say no to.

“Sure. I’ll forward them to you later,” she promised still standing behind the couch by the door.

“Thanks, but are you really just gonna keep standing there?”

She wanted to believe he was sincere with his teasing but the events during the siege kept pulling at her. “I was just checking in. I should go.”

“Nope.”

“Nope?”

“No. You weren’t just checking in,” he stated firmly. “Something is bothering you. Something about me or maybe even us.”

She should have known he would see right through her façade. He always had. Two years hadn’t changed that. “Kaidan—”

“Don’t do that, Rebecca,” he scolded, turning on the couch to face her fully. “Don’t push me away because you’re scared. I know what it’s like to be scared…and alone. I lost 2 years with you and now I can have you back. But not if we let that fear control us.”

He wasn’t the Lt. from two years ago. She had to remember that. And he had endured more in those 2 years than she would ever know. But he was right. They could get to know one another again. They could start again but only if they faced their fears.

Wordlessly, she moved around the couch to sit beside him. He shifted his body to continue to face her as he waited patiently for her to speak. Finally, she blurted out feeling as if a damn was breaking, “I fucking hate Cerberus for what they did. They manipulated me and used their knowledge of our relationship as a silent threat. If I didn’t do what they wanted they’d hurt or kill you. They never out right said it, but I know they’d have done it. They put a picture of you in my cabin. A silent reminder they knew what you meant to me. And now because of them I had to draw my weapon on you. How can you—”

She cut herself off as Kaidan suddenly leaned over and pulled her into his arms. Her breath hitched at his bold actions. Her mind racing with all the reasons he should be pushing her way instead. She couldn’t stand the thought of inadvertently hurting him again and yet he was trying to comfort her.

“I drew mine on you too,” he reminded her. “We were both fooled by Udina. He was always an ass but to sell out the Council to Cerberus? Who would have seen that coming?”

“I should have. I’m supposed to—”

“You’re still just human,” he reminded her, one of his hands rubbing soothing circles on her back. “And you aren’t responsible for everyone else. People need to stop treating you like you can fix everything.”

She shook her head. If she didn’t fix it, who would? “I’m a Specter. An N7. Hackett and Anderson ordered me to pull everyone together to fight the Reapers. I—”

“Am not doing this alone,” he stated firmly.

Shepard knew he was right but just couldn’t accept his well-meaning words. She pulled away intending to leave despite the reason she had sought him out. It was too much of a burden to bear and she couldn’t ask anyone else to—

“Wait! Don’t pull away yet,” he exclaimed as his hold on her increased.

“I can’t,” she insisted as she felt his biotics flare.

She glanced over at him to see a look of concern on his face. He shook his head. “Don’t make me put you in a statis, Rebecca. Something is eating at you, and you are gonna tell me what it is.”

The Commander watched as he continued to flare blue as his expression became desperate. The Lt. from 2 years ago would never have done that, but now? Kaidan had come into his own and he was more than willing to carry through with his threat. “Please, Becca. Please. I just got you back. Please don’t push me away.”

The first human Specter let her walls finally crumble as she collapsed against his chest. His flare faded as he held her as if she might disappear. Cradling her head against his shoulder, Kaidan murmured, “It’s gonna be alright, sweetheart. I know things are rough right now, but we can get through this. You just gotta believe.”

Shepard wrapped her arms around his waist as she listened to his heartbeat. It was real. He was real and he was right. She hugged him back. “Can you—Are we okay with what happened?”

Alenko snorted as he rubbed her back. “Which part, Becca? You need to be a little more specific.”

She laughed through unshed tears. “The pulling weapons on each other part.”

“That wasn’t by choice, Becca,” the L2 stated firmly. “We did our duty, and we used our best judgement based on our experience. We’re both still here. Together and Udina paid for his arrogance.”

She nodded as she turned her head to glance up at him. “I know. I feel like I need to say something to you. Something more than what we’ve already talked about. I just don’t know what.”

Kaidan gave her a small grin as he ran a hand through her hair. “You don’t have to tell me anything. We can just sit her. For as long as you want.”

“Really?” she asked, her voice full of hope. The chance to just be with him without any expectations was something she longed for.

“Yeah,” he assured her, shifting them so they were nestled comfortably in the curve of the couch. “You need a shoulder, and I’ve got one. And I’m not looking for a way out. So…”

Alenko trailed off, letting his words sink in. Shepard knew he had intentionally referenced their conversation on the SR-1 to drive the point home. He wanted things to work out between them, and he wasn’t leaving the SR-2. He wasn’t leaving her. They had a chance to work things out, all they had to do was take it.

“Can I have more than your shoulder?”

“How much more?”

“All of you?”

She felt a kiss pressed to her temple as he answered, “You’ve always had all of me, Becca. Always.”

Her heart jumped for joy in her chest as she held onto him tightly. “Kaidan, I—”

“You don’t have to say anything, Becca. Just sit here with me for a little while.”

She nodded against his chest. They settled into a comfortable silence as the stars passed outside the window. It was the small moments like this Shepard realized she was fighting for. A second chance with Kaidan and a life she had only dreamed about. She’d fight for it, but she wouldn’t be doing it alone. Never alone. Not as long as she believed.

#mass effect #promtps #f!shenko #kaidan alenko #rebecca shepard

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krazykiki05 · 1 year

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There’s Just Not Enough Hours in the Day

Zemo accidentally had a daughter at 16 with a 17 year old. When she found out what he was doing back in 2016, she teamed up with the Avengers to help fight her father at the age of 19. During this time, she helped Bucky and they grew close.. She moved to Wakanda to help him readjust to modern life. When Bucky came back from the blip, he lived with her. He would miss therapy if it wasn’t for her. She would have never seen her father again if it wasn’t for him.

I Part 7 I

I hear the door slam, Papa entering first. “Anything?” I ask.

“Well I got nothin’.” Bucky announces.

“No one’s talking about Donya.” Bucky sits down next to me and Sam sits across. Papa goes to the kitchen.

“That’s because Karli’s the only one fighting for them. And she’s not wrong.” Sam says.

“You really think her ends justify her means? Then she’s no different than him or anybody else we’ve fought.” Bucky sasses.

“Sam has a point.” I snap. Bucky glares at me.

“See? She’s different. She’s not motivated by the same things.” Sam explains. Papa brings over a tray of cherry blossom tea.

“That little girl. What’d she tell you?” Bucky asks Papa. I furrow my eyebrows. Little girl? Papa looks at Bucky, then at Sam, then back at Bucky. He sets the try down as he speaks.

“The funeral is this afternoon.”

“You know the Dora’s coming for you any minute.” Bucky threatens. “In fact they’re probably lurking outside right now.” I glazed at the door, gullible enough to think they actually were. “Keep talking.”

“Leaving you to turn on me once we get to Karli.” Papa concludes.

“I won’t let that happen.” I promise.

“Thank you Malyshka, but I prefer to keep my leverage.” Bucky stands up. I sat up, worried about his next move. Bucky rips the cup out of my father's hand and tosses at the wall behind him, missing my father’s head my mere inches. I stand up.

“James!” I yell.

“You wanna see what someone can do with leverage?” He growls. I get between them. “Annika, move.” Bucky demanded, not breaking eye contact with my father.

“Take it easy. Don’t engage him.” Sam says softly, going behind Papa. I might be injured, and don’t stand 5 seconds, but I will fight Bucky. “He’s just gonna extort you and do that stupid head tilt thing.” Sam encircled, glancing at me. I nod to him to let him know I got this. “Let me make a call.” He requested before walking out. Bucky continues to stare down my father. I shove him away. Bucky finally looks at me. His steel blue eyes boring into my amber ones. They were piercing, intimidating. But I stood my ground.

“Annika, it’s quite alright.” Papa says from behind me. I ignore him.

“Why don’t you listen to your father? Since you won’t listen to me.” Bucky snides before walking off. I didn’t want this. The two men in my life, always at each other’s throats. I felt a gentle hand on my shoulder.

“Malyshka, come sit down. You shouldn’t be standing and I made some cherry blossom tea.” As if on cue, my wound started throbbing. I guess the adrenaline wore off. I wince and hold my side, letting my father guide me back to the couch.

~~~~~~~

“What the hell do you think you’re doing?” Bucky asks when he saw me ready to go like them.

“I’m coming with whether you like it or not. You can bitch about it on the way.” I answer before stomping out the door. I hear footsteps follow me.

“You serious? You’re a liability.” Bucky says as we walk down the sidewalk.

“As you can see, I walk perfectly fine.” that was a lie. Every step shot a sharp pain into my wound. “Besides, you need all the help you can get. If I can walk, I can fight.” I defend. Bucky growls to himself. Isn’t he glad he’s dating such a strong woman? (note the sarcasm)

“Karli Morganthau is too dangerous for you guys to be pulling this shit.” John yells.

“Ah! How’d you find us now?” I knew Bucky already had no patience for John between the two Zemos he dealt with earlier.

~~~~~~

“This better be an unbelievable explain-” John was getting too close to Bucky so I stepped in between them, stopping John with my hand. He glares at me.

“Hey, take it easy before it gets weird.” Sam warns.

“I know where Karli is.” Papa speaks up from behind us. He starts to walk but John stops him. I was about to defend him too, but Bucky held onto me by the collar of my leather jacket.

~~~~~~~~

“It might be worth a try.” Lemar suggests. John scans all of us before rolling his eyes.

“We’ll deal with you two later.” He says, pointing to my father and I.

“She’s done nothing wrong!” Sam defends.

“I’m sure it will all come to an agreeable conclusion. My associate is just up ahead.” Papa says, gesturing to a little girl a block away.

#sam wilson #sam wilson imagine #the falcon and the winter solider spoilers #the falcon #anthony mackie #bucky #Bucky Barnes #buckybarnes #bucky barnes fanfiction #bucky barnes fluff #baron zemo #zemo #helmut zemo #zemo imagine #daddy zemo

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mysteriousangels · 9 months

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Solo Para (Ada/Felix/Della): Lovelace

Ada sat there shell-shocked. She felt as if her heart had stopped beating and there was nothing in her head. She stared at her pet lynx, body crushed by the trailer that they used to live in and suddenly a heartwrenching scream came from her lips. There was a stabbing pain in her head as the connection she had to Lovelace was gone. She wasn’t open about it but Ada had experimented on Lovelace in her spare time back when she was working in England. Of course, what she did to Lovelace she did to herself, and in the end, she created a telepathic link to the cat and it had also become far more intelligent than normal.

She started to panic as she felt like a part of her was fading away and dying. This was the first time she had ever cared about a death. Ada had looked at the victims of genocide in the eye and felt nothing, even though they died because of her work and her ego. But here she was finally paying the price for her past by losing the thing she cared about the most outside of her work.

The air around her was foggy and slightly tinted blue from the toxins created by her. She didn’t mind if this was the way she would go out. She was okay with dying by her own poison because she no longer had the will to live right now. Ada closed her eyes and took in a breath when suddenly a hand grabbed her shoulder. She looked up and saw Felix Fitzherbert looking back at her with pity in his eyes.

“I know this is hard, I don’t know how you and your pet were but you can’t end your life here just because she’s gone. Plus if you die here, we’re gonna die because you’re the only one who can make the antidote and I have a little sister and my crush kinda hoping I won’t die. I don’t know about my twin 'cause I haven’t spoken to her in almost a year but that’s a can of worms we can open somewhere safe.” Felix told her and sat down beside her. He rubbed her back softly and looked around a bit worried about the air around them since they were breathing it in more and more.

“I’m not going. I can give you the instructions to make the antidote but this is where my story ends, it ends with Lovelace. Tell my parents I’m sorry, I was so focused on being better than The Jimmy Neutron and The Cindy Vortex I started playing God. I don’t regret the work I did or the millions I killed because why guilt trip myself? But I’m apologizing because of karma biting me in the ass.” She said as she started to reach out to her pet. Felix quickly grabbed her hand and turned her to face him.

“Fuck your shitty ass apology. You’re one of the worst people I have met after hearing you say that shit and I know quite a few in fact they’re my sister's friends because for some reason she decided to become besties with her bully. To each their own though, anyways I’m not letting you get out of this. Atone my living.” Felix pulled Ada to him and threw her over his shoulder. He stood up as Ada thrashed around. He was glad that both of them were weakened due to the poison because it wasn’t that hard to carry Ada while she was thrashing. But at the same time, he was weaker and that was a nuisance in this situation.

Ada thrashed around. He was glad that both of them were weakened due to the poison because it wasn’t that hard to carry Ada while she was thrashing. But at the same time, he was weaker and that was a nuisance in this situation.

Della had slipped in behind him and knocked Ada out by injecting her with a muscle relaxer and made sure that he was okay to carry her. “I’m sorry I was late and you had to deal with her alone for a bit. I had to make sure there was no one else around and that the toxins didn’t go that far. It seems like Morgiana was already here and dealt with that problem. She left a note, it had blood on it but she left it.” Della explained as she walked next to him. “You should go find your family as someone who has that power and freedom to do so.”

“And leave you to deal with your emotionally broken friend alone, what kind of guy would I be if I did that to you?” He asked joking around with her. She was right though, it was just that he was pretty stubborn and he had some idea of where Ruby was due to the tracker. He naturally assumed that she was with the Navy and was right since the tracker was moving, but he could be wrong. Along with that, he was also with her when things first went crazy so he wasn’t too worried. Then there was Diana, of course, he liked her, but he also assumed she wasn’t really worried about him and needed to fully sort out her feelings. Yes, they kissed but he wasn’t sure if she was okay with herself and her feelings on the inside. “They all need space right now and you two don’t have a lot of people to help you right now. From this past month, I learned that both of you decided to just run into death if no one watched you carefully. So here I am.”

“Here you are, Inessa was a better three musketeer than you though. She would just run into the fire with us.” Della smiled sadly.

“Been there done that.” He replied with a sigh. “We aren’t gonna die in like an hour right?”

“Nah I give it 48 to 72 hours with how much we breathed in.” She shrugged

#askstorykidshqevent #askstorykidshqapocalypse #it's not stealing it's borrowing forever|| felix #the world is quiet while when you're flying through the air|| della #a good nail polish can always double as a chemical weapon||ada #event: apocalypse #solo para

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bbyboybucket · 2 years

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Aching

Bucky Barnes x Fem!Reader

Summary: After Reader gives Bucky a massage, he realizes how much he likes her touch. // Or a friends to lovers story.

A/N - I’ve been working on this for like 3 months now lmao. This is wayyyy different than I originally sat out for it to be but that’s okay. I’m really proud of it and absolutely love it and I hope you guys do too. It’s really just a fluffy lil love story.

Warnings: language, sexual references, Bucky’s shoulder and phantom pain, touch starved Bucky, grumpy Bucky, but he has a soft spot for reader, some PTSD stuff, Bucky’s also anxious, and he’s dumb and doesn’t realize reader loves him too, teasing, drinking, takes place during and after TFATWS

—————————

It all started with his shoulder. Because of course it would. Of course, amongst all the other shitty cards life dealt Bucky, chronic pain had to be in the deck. Unexpectedly, shoulder pain was apparently the rain that preceded a rainbow.

It felt like hell decided to take home there. An overall soreness, a dragging weight that felt like a boulder sat in his skin, along with an pricking sensation that was comparable to a hundred needles driving into his non-existent arm; which was a feeling he still couldn’t wrap his head around.

His spine felt twisted, convoluted by the 65 pounds of metal it upheld. He felt as if all the damn muscles in his back and neck were on the verge of giving out. This oh so common feeling resulted in a bad day. Bucky cursed the goddamn universe for giving him this daily predicament when painkillers were ineffective on him.

Also, the pain wasn’t ideal to endure in the midst of the chaos he’d gotten himself into. Between the flagsmashers and doing anything, any work he could to get a lead; Zemo being an conniving instigator, always trying to prod at Bucky’s head or give some kind of twisted sentiment to purposely offend someone; amongst many other undesirable circumstances from the past few weeks that he’d been repressing, Bucky’s threshold for irritation had been passed. He was just glad to finally take a seat and possibly bring his pain to a minimum.

You trotted into the open room, your attention falling upon the large figure slouched into the couch cushions. Your attention was on him most of the time anyways but your curiosity peaked at this particular moment.

Bucky wilted into the sofa, head flung backwards, eyes tightened shut and lips pursed into a thin line. His position looked like a poor attempt at alleviating discomfort. You could practically feel this stiffness of his body from where you where standing, as if he was the epitome of rigidity.

Bucky was utterly still besides the frequent expansion and collapse of his chest and the flaring of his nostrils each time air passed through. You watched his brows crease as he attempted to shift a bit, he shook his arm and rolled it in the air before letting it plop down on his stomach.

After your observation, you plodded past him, making a detour from your original route into the kitchen instead. You rustled through the cabinets to find what you needed, or more so what you thought would possibly cheer your friend up a bit.

You half way debated on wether you should actually bother Bucky or not. He’d been rather snappy the whole day. Words few and far in between, yet each one was laced with annoyance, leaving a sour punch to whom ever they were directed towards. There was a lack of his usual playfulness in his grouchy attitude.

However, you had a gut feeling about the cause of his increased moodiness, and felt that you could be of help. With that reasoning, you poured two glasses of Zemo’s whisky, then carried them towards the couch.

The sudden feeling of cool condensation touching his palm alerted the man to your presence. Bucky’s forehead crinkled. His nystagmic eyes followed your movements inquisitively, as settled to his right.

“What’s this?” He mumbled, staring down at the cup as if it were an oddity.

“A drink.” You stated the obvious and he gave you a peculiar look. “It’s not fuckin poisoned.”

“Oh good, I was so fuckin worried about that, you gave me a real scare.” Bucky sneered. “Not like any poison could hurt me anyways.”

You grinned at that and watched him take a mouthful. “You good?” You quieted your voice and provided a more caring, worried tone.

“I’m fine?” He shrugged, saying it as a question rather than a statement.

You rolled your eyes immediately, then took a sip of your own drink. “That’s a load of bullshit. You’ve been bitchy all day.”

Bucky screwed up his face, squinting his eyes at you as if you’d just offended him deeply. “No I haven’t.”

“Yes you have.” You mocked teasingly. “You’ve been in a shit mood, what’s wrong?”

He paused to glare at you, then spoke without breaking his interrogative stare. “Is that why you brought me a drink?”

“Maybe.”

“So if I agree, will you feel bad for me and keep ‘em comin? Or better yet, bring me snack, I’m kinda hungry.” He propositioned with a mini smirk. You playfully punched his leg at the request. “Ow!”

“I’m not your fuckin servant.” You gritted with faux anger but failed to restrain the smile that grew. “Seriously what’s up with you?”

“Nothing.” He broke his eye contact with you and shook his head.

“You’re a shitty liar, ya know. And you keep makin that one face.” You pointed out blandly.

“What face?”

“I don’t know, the one you make when somethin’s bothering you.”

He grunted, then rolled his eyes and swallowed the last of his liquor. “You’re dellusional.”

“And you’re a liar.” You shot back.

“Will you let me sit in peace?”

“If you tell me what’s wrong.” You counter offered.

Bucky sighed and licked his lips. “My shoulder and back hurt. Now will you quit fucking gripping at me?” He reluctantly revealed with a semi-nonchalant tone despite the highly contrasting body language.

Your lips set into a slight frown, him confirming what you thought the issue was. “Arm?”

“The one and only.” Bucky grumbled.

“Phantom pain too or just muscle?”

“Both.” His voice was now hushed, embarrassed more with every moment of this conversation.

“Set up a bit.” You commanded with the wave of your hand, you then stood up yourself and began to walk.

“What are you doing?” His features knitted together forming a scowl.

“Chill out.”

Your response only made him more skeptical of your seemingly spontaneous behavior. “No, what are you doing?”

“My god, Bucky relax. You’re gettin all defensive for nothing, ya big idiot.” You laughed as you strolled to the back of the sofa, right behind where he was seated.

You trailed across his back to find where metal ended through the fabric of his shirt. You then placed your hands onto the taut muscles of his shoulder and lower neck. There was no give to them, you’d merely rested your fingers there for a few seconds but could already feel the knots.

“You’re touching me, I have every right to-oh, oh fuck.” Bucky haulted his complaints with a blissful noise when you pressed your thumbs into the most strained area and began to move them in circular, forceful motions while your other fingers worked more lightly in surrounding.

“See? Not so bad. Figured it’d make you feel better.” You hummed.

You forced your digits deep into the knots, grinding at them to loosen up his body. You payed attention to multiple spots, all along the rugged path of where his arm began as well as his spine and middle back, even his other shoulder. You massaged each gently and took your time.

Throughout, he’d relaxed into your touch. The man released a few soft moans but when you reached a particularly tight spot around his ribs, he moaned rather deeply, sounding guttural.

“Woah Barnes, I think you’re likin this a little too much.” You laughed, still working into him.

“Fuck you.” He bit, almost breathlessly.

“Kinda sounds like you are fucking me.” You teased boldly, with a flirtatious undertone.

“Maybe I’m daydreaming it.” Bucky deadpanned.

“Oh good, how hot is dream-me naked, scale of 1-10?” You played along, trying to remain as blank as he did but amusement still poked through.

“Negative 20.” He bit his lower lip and exhaled through his nose, attempting to hold back the tiny laugh that almost escaped him.

“So hateful, I’m hurt.”

“Mm.” He grunted, the pushed his body further into finger tips, causing the entirety of your palms and forearms to linger on him.

It was an action he’d done sparsely throughout the massage. You’d readjust yourself and a few moments later, his back would press right into you once again, as if your fingers weren’t enough and the inch of air between your bodies was unacceptable.

At first it wasn’t on purpose, it was rather instinctual. The pure ecstasy your touch brought was subconscious but it grew into a forefront, hungry, craving for more. He was intoxicated on the way your gentle, warm hands took care of him. Touching him with a kindness and special affection that he hadn’t felt on his body since Steve, and even then very sparingly.

Bucky didn’t realize how dazed he’d become on the feeling until you pulled away. Until you ruffled his hair, in one final moment of contact and then said goodnight. Your sudden stop and disappearance left him inexplicably disappointed. His shoulder felt much nicer, much more relaxed, yet there was something in him that felt unattended to.

The following morning, that odd feeling still resided in him but grew in intensity when he saw you. Something about it made his heart pang, almost as if he missed you, like he craved you.

You’d called him out for staring, for standing in the middle of the floor still as a statue, watching creepily. Bucky just shook his head defeatedly and claimed to be tired. Once brought back to his senses, he also didn’t understand how his tiny crush had grown in intensity over night. How it went from liking you normally, to what he could only assume was yearning for your company.

Oddly, he suddenly wanted to be by your side at all times but was admittedly rather terrible at hiding it. He tentatively followed you around and always stood next to you on the day’s mission work. Sam even questioned Bucky privately about why he was trailing behind you like a lost puppy, which earned a him death stare.

Something in his head was pestering him to get closer, to find an excuse to spend time with you and it wasn’t letting him rest. So Bucky found himself in the doorway of your guest room, his hands frantically wriggling, sweat starting to form on the right one. You laid, sprawled out on the bed, scrolling mindlessly on your phone. You hadn’t realized he was there, so it wasn’t too late for him to back out, but fuck he couldn’t resist.

“Are you busy?” He asked, causing you to look up from your phone.

“Nah, what’s up?”

“My shoulder hurts.” Bucky stated awkwardly, but at least it was true, his shoulder did always hurt.

You smirked, knowing what he wanted. “My hands are magic, huh?”

“You’re mildly okay.” He scoffed.

“No, no. I’ve gotta be a real good masseuse to have mr James Barnes begging for more.”

Bucky shrugged. “Well, I’d rather ask you than Sam. Or psycho.”

“So I’m your favorite, is what I’m hearing?” You questioned playfully.

“Hell no, I hate you all equally.”

“Really? You like me and Zemo equally?”

“Good point….I like him better.”

You dramatically gasped and feigned offense. “I hope your shoulder hurts like a bitch.”

“It does.” Bucky stated, his tone not even sarcastic this time.

You laughed as you sat up and patted the bed. “Come here.”

Bucky felt the nervousness wash out of his body and internally cheered at your notion. He sat on the bed side and you positioned yourself on your knees behind him. You silently began to work your magic on his body, relieving tension every second and placing him in a quiet paradise.

He liked that about you, about spending time with you…the fact that you didn’t have to talk. Chatting wasn’t necessary to enjoy his company and he appreciated it, because if Bucky was honest with himself, conversing wasn’t a strength he possessed. Anything beyond mission talk or teasing, and his brain would shut down, taking it seemingly 1-3 business days to reboot.

You never pressured him into opening up more nor were you like everyone else, who made off handed comments about how he should be more social. You just understood and accepted, which graciously provided Bucky with a sense of comfort.

After a while, your hands slipped away and returned back to towards your own body. Bucky turned to look at you and you flashed him a tiny smile to indicate you were done.

He nodded in understanding and shifted a bit as if he was going to leave, however you spoke up. “Thinkin bout watchin a movie, you can stay and watch it with me if you want.”

“Yeah, uh, sure.” His agreement was quiet and monotonous.

When you adjusted yourself on the bed and leaned against the headboard, your bicep brushed against his. You settled close enough to his body that your arm remained lightly touching him and your thigh was about to ghost him. Any time you moved slightly, you’d somehow unintentionally touch him.

You seemed rather unbothered by the lack of personal space, your eyes were glued to the screen. Bucky’s were glued to you, a pounding startled his chest from the faint contact. So minimal but to him it felt so intimate.

Soaking in that tiny bit of shared space made a light bulb turn on in his brain. He

realized then what he was wanting so badly…to feel you.

He felt ashamed, he bit down his lip and a crimson color creeped over his face, but you didn’t notice due to your attention being elsewhere. His own head was screaming at him though, berating him for being a creep who wanted to touch his coworker.

It was like a craving though, something that wouldn’t die. Sure, he couldn’t ask without it being the awkwardest thing in the world and result in an upfront rejection. He certainly couldn’t just hold you without permission. But he could give himself a little taste right? It wouldn’t be so wrong to ‘unknowingly’ let his thigh skim yours if he shifted a bit to ‘get comfortable’.

So Bucky did just that, and you didn’t mind, you didn’t bat an eye, you stayed like that for the rest of the movie. He let himself have that tiny win, that itty bitty taste of the most delectable dessert. It’d suffice and fufill his need.

Except it didn’t.

The desire for you ate away at him over the next few days, it clawed up through his chest and was desperate to break free. Your normal presence wasn’t enough for some reason. It wasn’t enough to just talk with you, or sit next to you for a meal, or stay by your side on the mission.

He wanted to feel you. Bucky couldn’t look at you without thinking about it, without imagining your hand in his or your arms around his waist. This escalated to when his mind was too overwhelmed with demons, it started to comfort itself with illusions of you. Fantasies of you being there to tell him it’s okay, as you bring your warmth up against his body, tenderly putting him at ease with your compassion.

In those passing days, he started to accidentally bump into you in the hall way, or reach for something at the same time so your fingers would brush. As the mission continued, Bucky started to give you pats on the back when you did well, or elbow you when teasing. If he was walking beside you, he occasionally would swing his hand a bit so it’d ‘mistakenly’ graze yours.

Each time was like a short high, his mind turned to mush and his heart skipped a beat. He’d never show that these little ‘accidents’ had an effect on him. He’d sometimes have to grimace to hold back his impending smiles, to keep himself collected and not seem like a complete fool.

He started asking you to go on walks with him when he was bored, and eventually would even come to your guest room before bed to hang out.

That’s when he realized despite wanting to touch you so badly, he was okay with just looking, just observing and admiring you. He thought you were so beautiful and took in every part, all the littlest things, the way your nose crinkled when you laughed, the curve of your lashes and the way your eyes popped when light hit your iris. He liked your hair, and the way you slightly parted your lips when you were in thought. He appreciated the outline of your figure and the skin that showed when your shirt rid up.

He liked listening to you talk, your voice was melodic to him and your words always captivated his entire attention, nothing else could be more interesting than what you had to say. Anything that came from your mind was golden in his opinion. He thought you were the damn funniest person and loved how often you joked with him, you were sure to always bring a smile to his face. Bucky was gone for you.

Your friendship blossomed further, your bond was stronger than before. Thanks to you and Sam’s joint effort in re-exposing Bucky to socialization, he’d learned to come out of his shell over those weeks. He stopped being so reclusive, even if he stayed on the quiet side, he attempted to be around others because in small amounts, it actually made him feel good. He started sharing more of himself with you and Sam, even Sarah, allowing you all to get closer and pushing his fears aside. He started to laugh more often, it didn’t feel so foreign in his mouth anymore.

Much to Bucky’s surprise, he didn’t have to move past his invisible attempts at tactility because with time, you were the one who made the leap to further intimacy, and hell, he was glad. Glad to finally know what it was like to feel your warm embrace and even more so to know that you wanted it, you wanted him.

The first time you actually hugged him was after leaving Sarah’s house and parting ways at the airport. You dropped your luggage, then wrapped your arms tightly around him and snuggled your body up against his. It had caught Bucky off guard, he initially froze at the unexpected gesture before he slowly returned it. He thought his whole heart, his entire being, was going to melt into a puddle. You stayed in his arms for a bit longer than necessary, like you were savoring it as much as he was.

“For being so moody all the time, you give really good hugs”, is what you mumbled against his collarbone.

After that, hugs became a common greeting and goodbye between you two. They then transformed into more, you’d lay your head on his shoulder if you were seated next to him or mess with his hair, you’d even playfully wrestle with him.

The more open you were, the more relaxed Bucky became with fulfilling that craving he had. He started to put his arm around you, you took that as a notion to start cuddling with him at any given chance. You’d always nuzzle your head into his chest or call dibs on the position of big spoon. You became incredibly tactile, always touching each other, in any platonic form.

Then there was the first time you held hands.

Oh god, did that do Bucky in. It was at a PR dinner, celebrating Sam’s title of Captain America and giving him a grand introduction to the world. Pictures, interviews, all the good stuff. Beyond supporting your friend though, the two of you along with Joaquin were asked to come for good press as well. Cap’s crew needed to make their formal debut.

It was nice, the lavish food and elegant venue, the even gowns and tuxedos. It was an interesting change of pace for friends who typically hung out at home with some beers. It would’ve have been a perfectly nice time if wasn’t for three grueling reporters, who poisoned things with their nasty venom.

Comments and questions about the winter soldier went flying, the first were mild but they grew into much more vindictive words. It eventually was shut down, they got bored of hearing answers of how utterly normal Bucky was. He gave them no reaction, his demeanor was chillingly cool and unbothered.

On the inside he was writhing, a goddamn anxious mess, and with every question his head became more brutal of a place to be in. He was good at masking though, great, a talent even. The last thing he wanted was to make a scene, to give them a reaction, to be humiliated further by display how easily triggered he was.

You knew. He had no idea how but you did; you always did, you could read him like a book with merely a single glance. He swore you had some secret power or something, because logically you shouldn’t have been able to see how hurt and anxious he was; but you did.

You didn’t say a single word. You subtly reached under the table and took his hand. Your grasp was firm yet tender, your thumb soothed over his skin in circular ministrations. It was a private comfort, you reassured him without anyone else’s knowledge of it.

It brought him a sense of calm he couldn’t understand. There was no logic for how a simple hand on his could put him at such ease, more than that even. It was as if everything else just stopped, as if nothing mattered except the way your soft palm and delicate fingers transferred their affection and support to him, sending a bush of warmth to his heart and an explosion of dopamine in his brain.

He knew you had to feel something to in that moment. Anything. That was the only time he questioned if your touch was more than platonic, if he meant something more to you.

Bucky decided against that however. It was a silly little hope derived from the spindle of thread his own crush left behind. You wanting him just wasn’t viable, but a man could dream and also could take as much as he could get.

Bucky got as close to you as possible without pushing that boundary into romance that he knew you very much would not want.

He immersed in all little things, all the soft touches, heartfelt laughs, and allowed himself to pretend you loved him. Just for a moment each time, just to get that rush of serotonin that filled his brain and butterflies that filled his belly. It was nice to imagine even if it wasn’t true.

As the months started to pass by, you learned his soul, and he learned yours. Bucky hadn’t felt so open and free with a person in decades.

You were there on his good days. When he felt like going out in public, when he cracked lots of dry jokes and sparred with you. The days when he’d talk your ear off, ranting like crazy about how he hates rap music and how coke tasted better in the 40s.

But you were also there for the bad. The times when the missions were triggering, the times his nightmares got too bloody and his memories too violent. You were there for the panic attacks, the days he didn’t even feel like showering, the moments he got too angry and aggressive.

You’d seen it all and never judged, still stayed by his side. With tears running down his face, as his body quivered, you had cupped his jaw warmly and brushed your thumb over his teardrops. You cradled the back of his head and brought it into your chest, holding him tightly when he broke down more after your gentle gesture.

Being with you, even just talking to you over the phone, was equivalent to coming home after a long day of work. Bucky loved you with his whole being.

He never let himself be delusional though, he had to remember that you were just friends. He simply pushed down the detrimental thoughts that came along with that knowledge, he had too much negativity in that head of his already.

As long as you were in his life, it didn’t matter if you were his girl. You’d always be there either way and that’s all he needed.

Except Bucky didn’t take one thing into consideration.

He never thought about you getting a boyfriend, he never considered the idea of another man taking his spot in your life, taking you away from him. Until you told him you were going on a date that is.

Some random man you met in a coffee shop and he gave you his number. You’d apparently been texting for a week when he asked you out. Bucky was appalled at the idea of you being interested in a guy you’d met once. Appalled and green with envy, that is. However he’d told you over the phone, “that’s great”, and pretended as if he supported it.

But it ate at him. Nagged him to death, the idea of you sitting at dinner with someone else, finding him handsome and charming, the absolute nightmare it would be if you liked him. That random getting to learn about about you, to hear you talk about yourself, to admire your beauty, and god forbid, touch you in anyway.

The more Bucky imagined the possibilities, the more chill he lost. By the end of the week, he’d drove himself berserk, and Sam was the one to suffer a two hour phone call filled with Bucky’s confessions (which he was already well aware of) and dramatic ranting. All of which, he responded to with “Man, quit flipping your shit and just tell her you like her.”

Which was great advice. In theory, that is, because Bucky had decided that it was a set up for a soul-crushing rejection that he wouldn’t be able to withstand. So he said he’d do nothing. He’d just suck it up, let you have your date, and try to be happy for you.

He lied. Bucky changed his mind on a whim that Saturday night and found himself knocking at your door, which soon was opened hesitantly.

“Uh, hey?” You said, staring at him quizzically.

Bucky pushed past you and let himself in your apartment, while you stared in bewilderment.

Your eyes narrowed as they followed his form, you then shut the door behind him, still a bit surprised at his sudden appearance. “Why are you here?”

Bucky looked you up and down, real slow with his eyes taking their time on each part of you as if he was hypnotized by you. “You look nice.” He mumbled, still dazzled by how pretty you looked.

“Thanks, answer my question.” You insisted hastily and it brought him back to his right mind.

“Wanted to hang out with you.” Bucky blankly answered and shrugged before sitting on your couch.

“Okay, for one, I’ve told you a thousand times that you can’t just show up here and put me on the spot. And two, you know I have a date tonight.”

“And?”

Your eyebrows crumpled in half annoyance and half disbelief at his audacity. “And I gotta be at the restaurant in like 20 minutes. Get your ass out so I can lock up.” You demanded, gesturing at him then the door.

“Nah, I think I’m gonna stay right here.”

Getting impatient with his antics, your voice rose to a higher pitch. “Whatever, stay then. Don’t eat my whole fucking fridge again and if you leave before I get back, lock the door.” You told them proceeded to start gathering your belongings.

“You shouldn’t go, Y/N.”

“What?”

“Cancel your date.” Bucky suggested in a way that sound more like an order.

“Why?”

He stared at you for a moment, racking his brain for a reason. “Because…it’s not safe.”

“What the hell are you talking about?” You sighed exasperatedly.

“It’s dangerous. That guy could be a creep, kidnap you or something.” Bucky suggested with loads of faux concern, evidence in his lack of eye contact.

You aggressively laughed and accompanied it with an incredulous head shake. “I’m a goddamn avenger and I’ve kicked your ass multiple times, I think I can hold my own. You do realize how absolutely absurd you sound, right?”

“What if he’s secretly some kinda super villain? Then what are you gonna do?” Bucky countered, eyes widened theatrically.

“Yep, Jacob the accountant is totally super villain material.” You sassed.

“I don’t trust him. Even his job is criminal cause it’s so boring. That’s why I’m not letting you go.” Bucky’s tone shifted to one more serious and angry, as did his facial expression.

“I don’t know what the fuck you’re on about.” You spat then rolled your eyes and picked your purse up. “And I don’t know why you care about who I date so much but I’m gonna be late, goodbye Bucky.”

“Hold on a minute.”

“No!”

You slid past him through the door way and trotted towards the elevator. He failed so miserably in his attempt but he couldn’t just let you go. He’d rather lose you knowing he tried than to just give you away to another man. It was now or never.

“Fuck it.” He mumbled to himself and ran after you.

Bucky grabbed you by the arm and pulled you in, the his lips crashed quickly onto yours. His tongue dipped on to yours and they weaved together. He melted into you, It was rushed, passionate and also a bit messy, but most of all, full of pent up affection. It poured out of Bucky and onto you during every second his mouth was on yours.

There was a moment of silence afterwards, just the two of you becoming lost in each other’s soft, adoring gaze. Neither one knew what to say. You were too stunned to speak, Bucky was too afraid of the repercussions of his own impulsivity. He knew he had to explain himself though, so he put on his best brave face.

“Y/N, I can’t let you see another guy because I- god…I-I’m in love with you, okay?” He broke out anxiously, every little fear being evident in his eyes.

You looked at him through your lashes with a loose smile. “It’s about time.”

“What?”

“I didn’t actually like that dude, I just thought you weren’t interested and figured I should try to move on. Luckily, I was wrong.” You laughed and then said more tenderly, “I’m all yours, Bucky, I always have been.”

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