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finniestoncrane · 10 months

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Your One True Nemesis

Chapter 30: also on AO3 Masterlist Here Arkham!Riddler x Female!Reader, word count: 2.4k yay!! finally some more smut!! 💚 request info • prompt list • send me a request • kofi • masterlist minors DNI!! 🔞 cw: oral sex, there's still awkward pining though

“I need your help.”

The statement was so abrupt, completely against Eddie’s usual dialogue when it came to asking for your assistance. He would be indirect, suggesting that he required your input by making it sound like he was doing you a favour. Never so outright obvious, never hinting at any weakness, that you might be of use to him. So you stared at him blankly until he continued.

“You’re here. To assist me. Well, I need your help.”

Nodding slowly, you turned your body on the sofa, swallowing the mouth of sandwich you had quickly as Eddie sat down beside you, facing away, looking into the middle distance as he spoke his thoughts as they came to him.

“You asked me, before… what I wanted. And I wasn’t sure. And I’m still unsure. But. I wonder if… if you know…?”

“If I know what you want?”

“Yes.”

He was so aware of how ridiculous the question was. How could you possibly know what he wanted? How would you ever be able to understand his brain better than he could? But all of his hopes for some joy rested on your ability to do so.

“I think… Ok, well… For starters, I think it’s ok that you don’t know what you want.”

“Of course.”

You smiled softly towards him as you continued, sensing how vulnerable he was, how tense his body had become at displaying this particular lack of knowledge to you.

“Here’s the thing. It wasn’t so bad before, huh? When we… were physical? Maybe not intimate, but you know what I mean.”

“Yes.”

“Yes, you know what I mean? Or yes, it wasn’t so bad?”

“Both.”

“Ok so… a big thing for you was kissing. Because kissing means feelings, and for want of a better way to phrase this, fucking is just a release. Gets rid of the tension. Helps you remove those horribly human urges so your big brain can get back to more important things, right?”

Eddie nodded silently, either in understanding or agreement, or both. You couldn’t tell, but you were just grateful he wasn’t scoffing and interrupting you. This was the closest you had gotten to expressing your feelings to him. Of course, you weren’t ready to give him all of your feelings, all of your truths. But the most urgent one, the thing you craved most, was his touch, the physical element of your relationship. If you could scrape that back then maybe you could add feelings and emotions later. It felt fairly obvious that Eddie might, deep down, even hidden from himself, feel something towards you more than just acceptance of your existence. And on a more easily accessible level, he was attracted to you physically.

Even if that was all you ever got, it was better than nothing. You thought about it so frequently, his hands on you, his breath close to your skin, the way he felt. Just a little taste of that, even a one-off, would satiate you while you tried to figure out what you wanted. Because as readily available as you were to help Eddie work out his own wants, you weren’t even certain of your own.

“Well, what if we… tentatively, of course… tried that out again. No kissing, no emotions. This is transactional. The same as me making you a coffee. A physical release that benefits both of us with no inherent feelings or emotional ties associated with it.”

A lie. A complete lie. But one Eddie seemed willing to follow.

“Surprisingly, despite your shallow efforts and weak attempts to understand me psychologically, I agree.”

“What an off-putting way to say that. You know for it to be appealing even transactionally, I still need to be vaguely interested in you.”

You could make out a slight smile curling up at the corner of Eddie’s mouth as he nodded slowly, purposefully.

“Of course.”

He stood up, standing awkwardly as he looked in your general direction before he turned on his heel and spoke as he walked.

“I’m going to do some work now. Important things. Please do not bother me until it is time for dinner. That’s your only task today.”

You rolled your eyes, but you couldn’t help yourself from smiling excitedly. One task, but even at that, you weren’t sure you could have even thought about doing anything else. It was hard to focus on anything, actually, and it was for the rest of the day. Eddie was always on your mind, so there was nothing new there. But this felt different, it felt more focused. It felt concrete. Certain. And you knew it was delusional, to think that this time might be any different, but you could allow yourself that little optimism, surely.

Eddie did seem different, in fairness to your hopeful thoughts. You remembered something he had told you, how Batman had described him once.

“A fanatic narcissist, troubled by egocentrism and megalomania crossed with severe obsessive compulsion.”

It was an astute observation, clinical and almost polite. It didn’t describe the Eddie you knew though. Not completely. Of course, those aspects were there, you’d have to be ignorant to miss them. But for you, they weren’t negatives. They added to him. And surrounded them were Eddie’s positive traits, of which admittedly he had less of, or they were less obvious, but they were there all the same. Determination, a willingness to achieve, ambition. And a tender vulnerability you planned on nursing, coaxing from him slowly.

It was a good thing Eddie had told you not to do anything except for stay out of his way. Your mind was too filled with worries and excited hope to be able to focus on anything. And it was lucky that you had remained stuck on the beaten-up sofa in the living area, because otherwise you might not have heard Eddie’s yelling echoing through the halls. Looking up at the clock on the wall, you realised you had been lazing around daydreaming for three hours, doing nothing but thinking of the possibilities between you and Eddie like a schoolgirl.

He had told you not to bother him. But you couldn’t ignore the wails that followed the sharp crash of something being carelessly tossed around the work room. Quick on your feet, you made your way to Eddie to see what support you could offer, and you found him, face down on his work bench, the shattered torso of one of his prototypes on the ground around him. When you cleared your throat to make him aware of your presence, he looked up, his face red and flushed with what you presumed was anger.

“I know you told me not to bother you but-”

“It’s ok.”

He was letting you in. Accepting whatever you were there to offer him. Some help, reassurance. Anything. You’d give him anything.

“I’m… this is very stressful work.”

“Well, let’s start by clearing up a bit.”

You moved to the work bench, getting on your hands and knees beneath it to start collecting the shards.

“You don’t have to do that.”

“Eddie… I’m here to help. That’s literally the only reason I’m here.”

“It’s not.”

Your chest tightened, lips trembling as you considered what he might mean by that. What was behind those two words. But you knew better. Instead opting to offer him the kind of borderline flirtation that irritated him, knowing he’d be happy if he was able to be annoyed at you instead of himself.

“Well, it’s what I’m mostly here for. To serve you.”

He cleared his throat, a nervous reaction to the words, or how you said them, sultry and suggestive.

“To… yes, I suppose.”

“Anything you want, Eddie.”

Taking a brief glance away from the floor, from the mechanical shrapnel you were scouring through, you could see him shuffling his feet uncomfortably, his legs crossed. At the top of them, where you let your gaze drift, you could see a slight tenting at the front of his pants.

Desperation, clearly. One suggestive comment and he was yours, weak to the power of suggestion it seemed. That, and the tension, the build up of aggression and frustration, the conversation from earlier. It was clear that his own thoughts had drifted to you, under the table, on your knees, there to serve him.

Crawling quietly towards him, you let your hand rest on his knee, staying with him even as he shifted back, uncertain if your touch was intentional or accidental and not wanting to make a fool of himself. Above you, he rested his hands on the table and closed his eyes, trying to focus on his breathing. In Eddie’s mind, things were going too well. Perfectly, as though they were scripted. He wanted to ask you, if you would service him, if you would touch him. He couldn’t find the words though, the courage. It seemed though that he just had to wait for you to take the lead, which he was more than happy to let you take.

“Tension release?”

Your voice was soft as you asked him, scared almost that he might say no.

“Y-yes… yes…”

Moving quickly, not wanting him to change his mind, you fumbled over his belts and the fly of his pants, desperately pulling and tugging at the layers of fabric between you and him before you finally caught glimpse of the soft mound of wild pubic hair, pulling further and releasing his cock, which bounced free, laying stiff against his thigh. It twitched as you rested your palms on his thighs, stroking up and down against them, reaching to his abdomen, cruising over his thick and ample body hair, curving around the base of his cock where you pressed into him, watching his length bounce before you leaned in.

You took in as much of him as you could, letting your lips sink down over his shaft as you lowered your head. Hollowing your cheeks, you sucked at his cock, your tongue pressed flat against him as you began to move your mouth up and down. As you reached his head, you let your tongue flit over it, gripping him in your fist as you wrapped your lips around the tip, sucking at it, lapping up the precum which spilled free as Eddie moaned above you.

Stroking his cock as you lapped at the head, you listened carefully, attentively, to the sweet sounds Eddie made in reckless abandon. He let loose, completely. You weren’t sure if it was a change in him, in his trust in you, or whether he felt safer admitting his enjoyment when you couldn’t see his face, but you could cope with only hearing him. His whimpering, the way his breath was inhaled sharply and exhaled slowly as you greedily sucked on his cock, it’s tang on your tongue, in your throat.

Taking it free from your lips with a sloppy pop, you held it still, stroking slowly, watching his abdomen and thighs tense as he tried to reach your mouth again. Clearly irritated by your teasing, when he felt your lips grazing over his tip once more, he reached his arms under the table. You could feel his gloved hands placed at the back of your head as he pushed you down onto him. You released your law, willingly accepting him into your mouth again, heart thumping, body trembling at the assertion of his dominance. You moved with him, letting him control the speed, feeling him testing your boundaries as he tapped at the back of your throat with his head, grunting and shivering at the soft choking sound you made. It only served to spur him on further, as he grasped at you, forcing you further as you moaned and let your fingers trail delicately up and down his chest.

With a whine and sharp groan, Eddie bucked his hips up into you, and you felt him hitting the back of your throat hard, gag reflex in check you still coughed and spluttered at the surprise of the swift movement. You focused yourself, breathing through your nose, wrapping your lips around him tighter as he bucked his hips once more. This time, you swallowed quickly as you felt the warm of his release on your tongue, coating your throat as you gulped it down, relishing the taste, sucking still, pulling more from him with his body shuddering and groaning at your focused effort to finish him completely.

Between the moans, as smaller ropes of his cum hit your tongue, you could hear him whispering, able to make out your name amongst the silenced words of praise. You wondered if he knew you could hear you? If he would care if he did?

Eddie released the hold he had on your head, letting you swirl your tongue around his softening cock as you removed him from your mouth.

Leaning back on the ground, you waited quietly. You didn’t know what to say. Neither did Eddie. Saying something, it felt, might ruin the moment. It might make it too emotional, it might make it too clinical. You had to keep the perfect balance, not scare him off.

Eddie was the first to break the awkward silence though.

“Thank you.”

“You’re welcome. I’ll go… I’ll let you finish up in here.”

Shuffling out from under the work bench, you offered him a quick smile before you left hurriedly. Cringing as you walked through the hall, you still felt like you had left that as best as you could. And even if that was all you would get for another month, or ever again, you were content with it. Hearing his moaning, feeling his desperate bid to get you closer to him, the way he whispered your name, his gratitude. You weren’t foolish enough to think that you had successfully got him, but it was enough to feel like things were different this time around.

At his work bench, Eddie braced himself, his fingers clinging to the surface as his body twitched, muscles relaxing that had never been relaxed before. Tension relief indeed. But it was more than that. His heart felt light, and there was an unmoveable smile on his face. Thank you wasn’t enough, but it was all he could manage. If he let himself say anything else, he might have said too much. There was plenty of time to get to that though.

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heartless-aro · 1 year

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Heyo, i'm part of a queer organization irl. I'm trying to lead us to focus more on aromanticism, since even a lot of queer people know very little about it. I have two questions. Number One is about the term loveless, since I've seen it used (and explained) quite frequently but still don't understand it. I don't get it of it's an actual description of not wanting love of any kind or more of a hyperbole, a stance taken against the common practice of only talking about love in a romantic context. And also i wanted to know if you have any more general suggestions

Ok, so I’m actually gonna start with general suggestions since I know I’m going to ramble a lot about lovelessness when I get to that part (given how I am as a person).

Since aromanticism isn’t as well known as most other identities, it would probably be difficult to set up events or groups for aromantic people, so I’m going to assume that your main goal, at least to start with, is probably going to be providing information and resources, and I’m gonna do my best to give advice based on that.

So, first and foremost, I would recommend being very clear about the fact that you can be aromantic even if you are allosexual. Alloaros are a much more significant portion of the aromantic community than people tend to realize. I’ve been meaning to make a post about some research papers I’ve read that give a bit of insight into the exact statistics, but what’s important to know is that, based off what little research exists, it is likely although aromantic people are more likely to be asexual than alloromantic people, most aromantics are still allosexual, not asexual. There’s probably a lot of people who are aromantic and just don’t realize it, because unfortunately with the amount of alloaro erasure in our community, many allosexual people don’t realize that identifying as aromantic is even an option for them.

Also, this is a bit specific, but I would recommend that when providing resources on aromanticism, you also provide a bit of info on aro rings (i.e., what they are/how to wear one), since many aromantics have never met another aro irl and would likely benefit from having a way to find and connect with other aros.

AUREA’s website (aromanticism.org) has a lot of great resources too, so I would definitely suggest checking those out and maybe directing people to AUREA’s website for further information about aromanticism.

These are all somewhat simplistic suggestions since I’m not really an expert on organizing and I don’t know what sort of goals and resources you’re working with, but if you want to discuss further, feel free to dm/message me and I’ll help as best as I can (for real I have nothing better to do lol) ♠︎.

Lovelessness

Ok so now for your first question about whether the term “loveless” is literal or hyperbolic…the short answer is…yes. Yes it is. As for the long answer…

There are a number of reasons why someone might identify as loveless aromantic. For some people, their identity as loveless may be related to some intrinsic aspect of themselves while others may adopt the term for ideological reasons (i.e., as a political identity of sorts).

AUREA defines a loveless aromantic as “a person on the aromantic spectrum who feels disconnected from the concept of love, does not experience love, or rejects the idea of personally experiencing love” and clarifies that “loveless aros may experience other attractions, but do not equate these attractions to love.” This is a good start to understanding what loveless aromanticism is, but I’m going to try to discuss this in a bit more depth (at least, to the best of my ability).

At its core, lovelessness is simply the rejection of love as a descriptor for oneself and for one’s experiences — nothing more, nothing less. It only starts to become more complicated when you start delving into why someone might decide love is not a useful or applicable term for their experiences.

The most straightforward and obvious reason is that some people simply don’t feel anything that they can identify as love. This may be the case for people who lack the desire or ability to form close emotional bonds with others; this could be due to a personality disorder like szpd, aspd, npd, or ocpd, due to emotional detachment related to ptsd, due to negative symptoms of schizophrenia, and so on. Similarly, someone who struggles to identify their emotions may not know whether or not they feel love.

Some may also consider “love” to be inapplicable to themselves because love is often so loosely and inconsistently defined as to seem nonsensical or meaningless to them. After all, how can romance, friendship, family bonds, passion for hobbies, and general enjoyment of life all be categorized as forms of “love” when each one of these is a fundamentally different experience?

The word love can refer to a lot of things, but romantic love is, for better or for worse, central to its basic definition. So much of our society’s concept of love is characterized by traits associated with romantic love, with all other forms of love being treated as secondary at best. Although we can stretch the definition so the word love can be more broadly applied, that doesn’t change the fact that, unless we completely rethink how we conceptualize love (as many lovequeer aros do), love as a social construct is inextricably tied to romance.

People are quick to label virtually any positive human experience as love, and in doing so without actually deconstructing what love means, they implicitly draw a connection between romantic love and those other positive human experiences. Yet is my “love” of music really the same emotion as someone else’s love for their spouse? Or do we only call them both love because — with romantic love being seen as the pinnacle of human emotion — we have become convinced that the only way the enjoyment of music could be anywhere near as valuable an experience as romantic love is if the enjoyment of music is in and of itself a form of love? By calling labeling any and all sources of joy as forms of love without considering whether they actually meet the definition of the term, we risk elevating the pedestal upon which society places romantic love, to our own detriment.

So, part of why someone might identify as loveless is because, in rejecting the idea that our experiences should be labeled as love, we are seeking to challenge the notion that the value of our experiences lies in their similarities to romance. In doing so while continuing to assert that our experiences are equal in value to the experience of romantic love, we seek to combat the idea that romantic love is above all other things.

Furthermore, there are also many people who identify as loveless due to having had “love” weaponized against them in the past. When people say that love makes us human, some of them may mean love in that broad sense that includes platonic affection, familial bonds, care towards pets, passion for hobbies, and so on. But for most people, the first type of love that comes to mind is always going to be romantic love, and for many, love and romance are inherently synonymous.

Although attempts to expand the definition of love are valuable, many aromantics (like myself) are uncomfortable with labeling any of their feelings as love. Furthermore, many neurodivergent aros, autistic aros in particular, have the love they do experience delegitimized by others because they cannot express love in the way people expected them to. (This is something that K.A. Cook explains in much greater detail in hir essay where ze first coined the term loveless aromantic. I plan on posting a link to this essay in a separate post in a bit. I highly recommend reading over it if you have the time).

After a lifetime of being excluded from the category of “people who love,” many aromantics don’t want to be told that we’re allowed to “join the club” now. There are people who will never consider our experiences to be the same as “real love,” and those who do will often consider us only as an afterthought. When people reinforce the idea that “love makes us human” or that “love is the meaning of life,” they may be including things like platonic love in their definition of love, but at the end of the day, not everyone will interpret their statements that way, and so their statements will still contribute to the dehumanization of aromantic people. Thus, it is not enough to be placated by the notion that love can include us too; at best, this is an empty platitude, and at worst, it serves to silence us on the matter of our own dehumanization. We need to dismantle the notion that love is intrinsic to humanity and happiness. In rejecting inclusion into the category of “people who feel love,” loveless aros make it impossible to ignore how equating love with humanity and happiness dehumanizes us and devalues our lives.

Anyways, this is based pretty heavily on my own thoughts and experiences and it’s probably not super organized but I hope that it helps.

So uhh,

tldr; loveless can be a descriptor for someone who doesn’t want love in any form, or it can be used as a hyperbole to express a stance against equating love and romance, or some combination of the two.

#aro #aromantic #loveless aro #ask #i definitely rambled a lot bc i’m living that adhd life but i hope this is at least semi comprehensible #long post

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queeenpersephone · 3 years

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Ok so what are your top 5 scully moments ?

aah okay this has been sitting in my askbox because classes started this week, sorry!! there are way too many so i'm going for my favorite moments at this exact second.

1. "the truth is out there, but so are lies." (e.b.e.) this. THIS. the depth of understanding she shows here, something i think mulder works the whole show for, is amazing. to me, despite being the more logical of the two, scully finds it easier to operate in a grey area (as an aside, the fact that they have trope-y roles yet frequently exist outside of those roles is what makes them such wonderful characters) and she understands that this is one of those areas. that while the truth with a capital T is out there, this early on, she suspects it's impossible to reach. yet she follows mulder anyway because there's still a value in searching, and the searching is what gives us meaning, not the Truth itself (which is what attracts her to mulder in the first place). anyways my thoughts aren't coherent here sorry but i love this moment.

2. "so how do i die?" "you don't." (clyde bruckman's final repose) there is nothing i can say about this scene that hasn't already been said. something about how scully drops her facade of rigidity and logic, reminding us that she's more than the mask she shows mulder and the world. and she finds it easier to drop the mask for bruckman, who has spent the whole episode appreciating scully because she connects with him and not his ability. this quiet show-not-tell moment reminds us of scully's value beyond science and autopsies and tempering mulder. idk thinking about dd talking about scully as mulder's human credential. anyways it's a brilliantly soft and gentle moment, and i love it.

3. "can you hold me?" (plus one) one of my favorite revival moments. i think a lot about how dd and ga decided to change mulder and scully because obviously we change as we grow old. i don't think classic scully would have asked to be held this way - she might've gone to mulder the way she did in requiem, but this overt request to be vulnerable is something that must've developed over the years. we see that scully has grown, that she is a little more vulnerable than she was when she was young, and i just think this scene is a brilliantly subtle way to show this

4. being held in contempt of congress. (terma) SCULLY. scully. scully is so firm in her convictions, in her sense of justice and rightness, and also so protective of and loyal to her loved ones, and this moment is the perfect marriage of her two best traits. i think in fic sometimes scully gets a rep for being too reserved and unwilling to break the status quo, but she's a rebel at heart, and it's because she knows what is just and seeks it. sometimes next to mulder she can play the role of common sense, so we usually have to wait for a separation to get her like this. i could've put early s8 or pine bluff or tithonus in this spot, but idk, something about her shutting down these old white men really does it for me.

5. "this is my life." (never again) so i watched txf for the first time last winter, and i still can't quite wrap my head around 'never again.' there's strong misogynistic elements to it to contend with, but there's also a portrait that morgan and wong paint of scully that is so brilliant and complex it makes it one of my favorite eps. but i'm not going to get into all that (although it's absolutely worthy of it) because that's a whole separate meta. what i want to talk about is that last scene. putting aside the msr angle, the 'yes, but it's m-' that literally haunts me, i love what she's saying here, even if mulder can't hear it. whether she was rebelling against mulder or the x files, she comes back to say that she's been unsuccessful at putting him in the box of the authoritative men of her past. she's struggling with her place, is punished for it, and their relationship is probably hurt by it. but still, she's making an effort to tell herself and mulder that she chooses to follow him, that it's not blind worship like with her father. and the tragedy is that he doesn't hear it. but the silver lining is her awareness that she doesn't want mulder to be that man. maybe it sets them back for a while, but honestly i think that's for the best. it's more important for scully to take ownership, which she solidifies in memento mori.

#thanks anon!!#dana scully #txf #txf meta #the x files #anonymous #answered #sorry if the never again section sounds wild #like i said i still can't wrap my mind around that episode entirely #send me asks like this anytime i swear i'll be faster lol

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skinner17 · 4 years

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Dissecting Red Spider Arc-The arc that non shipper find it disturbingly (For those who mind) Shippy

I’ve been watching gintama for the past couple of weeks. And since lately I encounter sleeping problem, lets turn this energy to talk about one of my favorite arc. The controversial arc that invite polarized opinion among Gintama fans.

For Tsukuyo fans, Red spider is a certain favorite together with Yoshiwara in flame and Courtesan of the nation. This arc fleshed her background and deepen her bond with yorozuya, especially Gintoki

For casual fans, this arc is the first time they see a glimpse of gintoki past, The first time gintoki in a berserk mode, the first time he act by his own volition. And somehow he appeared like a true shonen hero saving the heroine.

By then tsukuyo was far from heroine status. She just recently introduced a couple episodes back. Yoshiwara in flame focused more on Hinowa and seita story. But Tsukuyo already rose in ranking because her unique character design (in sacchan word, she has a lot of ‘hooks’) aside being badass in general.

For naysayers, Red spider arc is that arc that destroy Tsukuyo character. Reduced her into damsel in distress, mere love interest and what not. Of course its people’s right to interpret a work however they see fit. People enjoying entertainment in a different way afterall. Maybe they are a strict feminist type who wanted a true xena like character? disappointed when a strong female charachter ended up saved by the male hero? (Tho I wonder why they don’t care with preceeding events where Tsukuyo saved gintoki a couple of time)

The other would say this arc is such a big jump from previous arcs. A sudden transition they would say. And heck they’re right. Red spider arc Is different compared to other serious arc before it. Its lustrously dark, whispery, not much emphasis on family nor comedy, not much explosion nor machismo.

And more importantly, its uncharacteristically Intimate.

What do you expect? It took placein Yoshiwara-The Red light District- afterall.

The curtain raised with Jiraiya, the ex teacher of Tsukuyo, the main villain of this arc, On his post coital glow pondering about his object of creation. After enjoying the service of yoshiwara, He looked at the moon and probably feeling another rush of excitement reminiscing his dear beautiful student and the plan he’d set for her.

Not long after, Tsukuyo feel someone dangerous infiltrating her city. She and her Hyakka squad has been working hard to push down the crime that on the rise after the city lost its night king. Nearing their limit, she turned to Yorozuya, wondering if they can help with the drug problem.

Somehow, Tsukuyo and Gintoki teamed up just the two of them investigating the shady group with spider tattoo trademark. The result was assortment of classic romantic comedy skit : To-Love-Ru type of ‘accident’ and pretend couple.

Ok at this point its just natural that people start to see the two as potential couple. When they bicker they’d scream their heart silly, forgetting whatever adult persona they had in mind. Yet when the time come, they play along really well with the others bullshit act. They are on the same frequency already.

Back to the story, Later, they found out the drug lord is Jiraiya who apparently the long dead master (teacher who take care of protegee under their wing) of Tsukuyo. With his unique ability he nearly killed Gintoki and captured Tsukuyo.

Some Naysayers disappointed at this point because Tsukuyo who supposedly a good fighter became useless in front of jiraiya. Ok let me use this opportunity to explain the technicality of how that’s possible.

She was shocked.

It was a surprise attack

Jiraiya, knew his student fighting ability the best and knew how to immobilize her.

Even Gintoki Almost killed because of his weird technique

She used the last of her strength to saved gintoki from jiraiya’s final blow.

“Huh? But gintoki didn’t turned into a useless mess when he met his long dead master alive?”

Lol what are you smoking? The old master would split gintoki’s head from his body if not because Kagura’s help. Also Utsuro/Shouyo goal was to crushed the rebels and nothing to do with Gintoki. While Jiraiya’s goal was to capture Tsukuyo. Understand the difference?

Ok now that its out of my system lets continue.

Later Gintoki learned about the nature of Jiraiya and what this student-master relationship actually are from Zenzou. She-who believed every word of him and followed his foot step- was his creation and his prey at the same time. This method is sickening for Gintoki who loved his master to death.

For Gintoki a master should be more or less like shoyo. Strong, kind, wise and selfless. The kind of sage who gave his life for his student. Its infuriating to learn that a good women like tsukuyo has a psychotic monster as a master.

“see..Its not because of Tsukuyo that gintoki willingly revert to his shiroyasa self. Its because the master-student thingie that made him mad af”

Was the stuff I read from naysayers. And for this one, I kinda agree. The main thing that infuriate gintoki about Jiraiya was that he used master student relationship for some psychotic goal. As we know later, whenever topic about his own master brought on, Gintoki turned into a different beast.

Even I can see this arc’s intent beside telling tsukuyo’s past and cementing her as one of the recurrent character was also to foreshadow Shoyo related arcs in the future.

However among all of that baggage brought by this arc, theres this one dialogue that caught my attention.

G : "give up already, theres nothing in your web. This entire time there was only a pathetic little spider spinning thread into sky while gazing at distant moon"

J : "What are you babbling about?I already knew that long ago"

The ones who ascociate Tsukuyo with the moon are the one who cherish her like hinowa and the hyakka squad or the bastard who obsessed at her like Jiraiya. It’s a secret nickname people gave to her beside Shinigami Tayuu / courtesan of death. Wt

At that moment, Gintoki speak about what Tsukuyo is to Jiraiya existence : A moon to a little insignificant spider. This confirm that Gintoki understand Tsukuyo’s epithet-wich means at that point of story he is familiar toward Tsukuyo more than the viewers aware of.

To add, This is probably just me but the way he said that stuff about Jiraiya, whispering while gazing at the sky, as if its applied to him aswell.

Well, I just think that because throughout the fight he keep rambling about being on the same level as Jiraiya.

G: Do you know how to survive the spider nest? By eating the spider.

G : She is stronger than you ever be. A coward like me is enough for a coward like you

To Fight Jiraiya, Gintoki drew parrarel between himself and Jiraiya. And its not impossible that parrarel extended until that moment.

I came to the conclusion At that moment Gintoki already admire Tsukuyo. Wether her virtue, her face, her quirk or her phisycal attractiveness, it could be anything. The fact is Tsukuyo basically embodies everything gintoki like in a women.

However because of his mindset and his self sabotaging lifestyle, he understood Jiraiya’s point of view of admiring an existence that is too good for them.

The episode ended with Tsukuyo learning his master’s past and accepting his flaw after killing him. The moment when Gintoki implied that he would never be a good student to their master as tsukuyo is pretty touching too.

The last episode of this arc is a short one with majorly comedic skits. Another To Love Ru accident. And a classic wingman setup to force a couple to be alone together.

Lol too much couply stuff happening in this arc.

Later after the crazy terminator drunken stupor, Tsukuyo asked gintoki if she didn’t has this scar, would her life be any different?

At this point I realize the pain endured by her, even though she said she was fine, physically and mentally, she actually struggling with the realization that all her past was something different than she perceived to be, that rather than genuine student master relationship, its an elaborate plan by her master to kill himself.

Its like realizing that we are adopted after all this time living in a loving family. From the surface it might not changed anything because its all in the past, But it changed everything within. It changed the foundation of what we stood upon all these time.

Gintoki then assured her that her life is one that she choose, No one make her choose that. wether it’s driven by a psychotic manipulation or a trust in a teacher who wanted make her strong. The life is still hers to behold and cherish

Gintoki further assured that her face Is not ugly, Its pretty face carrying clean soul. Or something to that effect (since translation vary)

As you see “Soul” is the overarching concept on Gintama. Its like “Adventure” on One piece and “Hard Work” On Naruto. It’s the Idea that the shounen protagonist holds dear.

Shoyo first teaching to Gintoki was how to protect his soul. In the war Gintoki choose to kill Shoyo to save his master’s soul. Means he choose Shoyo over his friends and himself. In effect, one of the friend’s soul was corrupted. While Gintoki turned himself into a vessel whose purpose was merely to protect people he deemed fit and procasinating on his own growth.

Gintoki speak about Tsukuyo’s soul in her face is another testament of how deep their trust and bond has formed.

Even though Gintoki has innate ability to peek into the human character, its not his fashion to directly address it. He usually find a roundabout way to make the others understand that they are being understood. But with Tsukuyo, everything he do about her is direct.

“Don’t be a stranger, Lean on me, laugh with me and cry with me. I’d be there, cry and laugh with you ” Said Gintoki to tsukuyo.

The Gintoki who often avoid emotional baggage from a stranger.

In conclusion, Red Spider Arc is such an awesome arc. The vibe is cool, the soundtrack is awesome and its has an intense emotionally charged action.

It is also the breeding ground for gintsu shipper, wich probably gonna make some part of fandom upset. But it is what it is and we can just enjoy or choose not to.

#gintama #Tsukuyo #gintoki #Gintoki x Tsukuyo #Red Spider arc #gintsu #gintsuki #dissecting #love this arc so much i need it to get out of my system

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carters-coffee · 3 years

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Headcanons for having an enemies to lovers like relationship with Elsa Mars pretty please 🙏

I was so excited for this one but I took me so long to get the inspiration lol sorry. I got another request for Elsa hearing you sing for the first time and I thought that it would be the perfect way to kick start this one. I've never done anything for enemies to lovers before so let's hope this is ok haha.

• You've always been a performer, making a living off of your stage name "The Siren" with your amazing voice and ability to captivate an audience

• But you've been down on your luck lately. The show you used to perform at went out of business, and picking up the odd gig at bars and diners just isn't enough to scrape by

• So out of desperation, you're driven to Elsa Mars' Freak Show in the hopes that they'll let you have a place among them

• And at first they're like wtf no, this show is for freaks and there's clearly nothing wrong with you

• But you're desperate and not above begging, and Jimmy takes pity on you, convincing the others to give you a try

• When you first start singing, Elsa's eyes widen, then narrow in a scowl

• Because you're good. Really good. Everyone can tell, and if there's one thing Elsa hates more than anything, its someone stealing her spotlight

• The rest know that you could be what they need to save the show, or at least keep it from going under for the next few months

• But Elsa gives one of her big, dramatic speeches about 'the integrity of the show'

• "People come here to see freaks! The strange and obscure, the abominations of nature. Look at her pretty face! All her fingers and toes intact. She can go to the store without being seen as a monster, can any of you say the same?"

• Then she strides right up to you

• "How dare you come here. I created this place as a home for my freaks. A sanctuary from the cruelness of the world out there, from people like you."

• But not only are you a siren with music, but with your words as well, and you know exactly what to say to feed into her ego and soften her up

• And that, combined with urging from the others, is just enough for her to begrudgingly agree

• But when you two are alone, she makes sure you know your place

• "They think you're going to save us, and maybe you will. But make no mistake about who the real star of the show is. I could have you out like that if I so choose" she hisses

• And you nod respectfully, because the last thing you're going to do is piss her off this quick, when you've just made it through the door

• I feel like the enemies part of enemies to lovers with her, at least in this situation, would be full of nuance

• Like instead of just straight up "I hate you" "I hate you more", there would be a lot of passive aggressive shit and a huge power struggle always bubbling just beneath the surface

• That power struggle is what she really hates, she'd definitely have you out in an instant but you prolly have some sort of blackmail thing on her where she's forced to let you stay

• She definitely "accidentally" trips you more than once when you're walking on stage to perform

• And she never lets you perform to completion, always having the lights cut right before you finish your last note or something. Anything to dampen your glory.

• Also throughout all this yall both develop an attraction to each other but you still don't like each other so you both just shove it down

• And it makes things even more tense because not only are you fighting with each other because you're rivals, but its made more vicious because you're both trying to prove to yourselves that you don't have feelings

• And there's not gonna just be a day when a switch flips and yall are like "yk what forget this I like her why fight it"

• There would need to be some serious angst first to serve as a catalyst for yall giving into it

• For example her just completely having a mental breakdown and you putting your rivalry aside to comfort her through it because good gosh as much as yall fight, you can't stand to see her cry. And she's like 'why do you even care, you hate my guts' and you're like 'that's... not true'

• Or you confronting her about how she treats you like shit and yall having a huge argument over it that ultimately serves as some sort of release of the tension between the two of you

• In both of these scenarios there's not an actual confession of feelings just yet but there's definitely that 'hey wait a minute' moment

• And after that she kinda opens her eyes to how much you've helped with the show, how caring you are with everyone else and how much they like you

• And you understand her a little better now too so you stop trying so hard with the power struggle

• The "underhanded comments" still exist but now its more of a playful banter than passive aggressive games

• You're happy ab it, like 'yes we get along now, this is great'

• And then one day the realization just bitch slaps you in the face that you have feelings for her

• Which, like I said, you already "knew", but you had pushed it down so much it was still just as jarring

• She had this realization before you did and started acting weird around you and thats what triggered your realization

• Damn I really need a synonym for realization don't I ok anyways

• Queue the love confession after the awkwardness builds up to being unbearable

• And boom yall are together now

• And the rest of the freak show is pretty evenly split between "ok wbk what took so long" and "OMG WHAT??"

• Ultimately they're all fine with it though

• (because I'd like to believe that even though homophobia was clearly very prominent then, they'd have yalls backs because hey we're all weird here and we're a family, fuck society's rules) (unless you're a guy reading this then good for you)

#elsa mars #headcanons #american horror story #ahs

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pointlesstrashyexistence · 3 years

Text

I know other people have said it in better words but I really don’t understand how that finale was good. Ok bear with me. Yes I’m a destiel shipper but Cas not being in the episode and the confession not being acknowledged in any way aren’t even in my top 5 reasons for what I hate about the finale. I don’t even know if they’d make it into my top 10.

We had a bunch of episodes before the extended break due to Covid happened where Sam kept having dreams of Chuck’s ideas for how Sam and Dean die, usually by one killing the other, in other universes. And then in the episode with Becky, she talks about how sad and hopeless the ending Chuck writes is and there is this positive light put on how in her own fanfics, Sam and Dean are often just at the bunker doing regular things like bonding while folding laundry. And in the end, Dean dies and Sam lives the rest of his life with this deep sense of unhappiness without any of the other hunters and friends he’s made in the last few years that could help him and provide him some kind of emotional support. He’s just kind of going through the motions before he dies it seems like. And Dean just dies and goes to heaven and basically waits for Sam to die and show up. And as someone who, while I’ve never attempted suicide, became very depressed from around middle school because of constantly being in a space where I was told my sexuality meant I was going to Hell and wondered if maybe the only way I could escape that deep unhappiness and loneliness I was feeling was in death? The idea that death is the only release and the only time where you can achieve true happiness is horrifying.

Dean has always had scenes, even episodes built around him wanting to live some kind of apple-pie life and believing it’s something he can never have. Dean has always tried to provide for Sam and make sure Sam has what he never could, including Sam having an apple pie life. Dean always believed he was going to die young and while on some level some of that had to do with him being a hunter, it also had to do with his own issues of self worth. Why couldn’t Dean realize and accept that after all the horror and bullshit he’s dealt with, he does want to grow old and live an apple pie life and be happy and be better? Why couldn’t Dean have some version of an apple pie life? Not even with Cas, just some version? I don’t think anyone would’ve like Dean having a blurry wife, but Dean just owning a bar that becomes the Roadhouse 2.0 where he gets to see the Wayward Sisters and AU Bobby and AU Charlie every few weeks? Why couldn’t Dean examine why he’s become an increasingly worse person and realize he needs help? That would’ve been nice.

Sam seems to want it at first only because he wants to be normal and then realizes that not only is he really good at hunting, but he actually enjoys it, maybe even more than Dean, and he steps into this leadership position later. He still wants a relationship (I will never forget you Eileen. You are an awesome character and its horrible that when very little deaf and hard of hearing representation exists and you were shown as not only a serious love interest but an amazing independent hunter who realizes her revenge won’t bring her happiness and continues to find her happiness after revenge only to be brushed aside and ignored). However, it seems like if he did it would’ve been way more integrated into his hunting life. Because having a family and hunting aren’t mutually exclusive. Bobby and Karen would’ve had children but couldn’t. Jo lived a happy loving childhood with Ellen and her father until John used her father as bait, and Ellen continued to love Jo and tried to get her to leave hunting for her safety. Jody takes care of 3 teenage girls who are either active hunters or want to be involved in some way. Why couldn’t Sam be a leader and in a relationship? Why couldn’t Sam have a wife and child like he wanted, except him having a family is not because he’s chasing a sense of normalcy but because he actually wants one?

These were things the two of them wanted but doubted they could have. In a world where a god is no longer controlling you, a conventionally attractive middle aged white man with access to large amounts of money and many issues they want to work through but haven’t been able to because of multiple apocalypses, what else do you have stopping you from pursuing the things you want other than yourself?

Now I know there are a lot of fans who didn’t like that the show centered less on Sam and Dean’s relationship. Yes, the show, at least in the first 5 seasons, was exclusively centered around Sam and Dean. The last 5 haven’t been though. Yes, the show went through many different directors in the 10 seasons after it was originally supposed to end and that is why. The last 5 seasons still have Sam and Dean’s family slowly extending, even when they seem to become shittier people. I’m not saying the last episode shouldn’t have focused on Sam and Dean’s relationship because that was the original centerpiece of the show and remained one of the key features. But why did it seem like they could only be happy when they were dead in heaven even when the two of them still have things they need to work out.

Even if the last episode wanted to exclusively focus on the two of them, why couldn’t we see them actually have a time where they’re alive and doing this? Supernatural starts as a show with two fucked up brothers and ends with those same brothers killing the god they realize has orchestrated almost every aspect of their and are now trying to learn what a life free of control means. Why couldn’t the last episode have them actually sit down and reflect on the people they’ve lost throughout their 15 years together? Why not have them discuss how horrible they’ve been to each other over those years, keeping secrets, gaslighting each other, intentionally doing things to harm each other, and deciding to end the cycle of trauma from both sides of their family by seeking help or maybe indefinitely separating themselves, realizing that they have the ability to bring out the best and worst in each other?

I would prefer much happier endings, but if we were continuing with the idea of kind of a return to the beginning, of bringing Supernatural back to its grassroots as a show about two brothers, why not have the show that started by their reunion end with their separation? It still pulls at the heartstrings, it still hits the notes it needs to, it’s hopeful, it focuses on Sam and Dean, and it ends with them recognizing that as much as they love each other, they have an unstable unhealthy relationship and without a god pulling the strings it is now up to them to decide if they want to leave this relationship to grow mentally and emotionally and seek out the help the other can’t provide. The last season was all about them trying to take control over their lives back, so show what happens when they actually have full control and deny the audience access to what they then do with the rest of their lives because they refuse to be seen as entertainment.

#supernatural #Supernatural #SPN #spn #spn finale #SPN Finale #dean winchester #sam winchester #Dean Winchester #Sam Winchester #dean deserves better #dean deserved to live #sam deserves better

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artemis-entreri · 3 years

Note

I have a silly question, is it homophobic if I am straight and am not into seeing men with men or woman with woman, etc ? I think you make great art! Don't let this discourage you at all. Take care of yourself!

[[ Hey there, I’m glad you asked. My answer would be: it depends on what you mean by “am not into seeing”. There are a lot of fine lines and nuances on this topic, but it’s impossible to cover them all in a reasonably short post, so I’ll try to cover some of the bigger points. In a general sense, the answer would lean towards “yes”, however while I stand very firmly for LGBT+ rights, I don’t believe in condemning someone and shutting them down very swiftly for asking a question like the one you asked, as I think that discussion is important to help each other understand and grow.

So, I ask these questions, not necessarily for you to answer me, but rather for you to think on. By, “am not into seeing men with men or women with women”, do you mean that you don’t actively seek out gay content? If so, I don’t believe that’s inherently homophobic. However, the age of “gay content” being its own section is in my opinion becoming antiquated, since traditionally, things in this category are anything that includes non-straight elements. For too long, “normal” is that which doesn’t acknowledge the existence of non-straight. However, this is really artificial and not at all reflective of what reality is, the true normal would include people of all sexualities and gender identities. But, if we were to artificially try to restrict this question to gauge your outlook, I guess we can use this example: Let’s pretend that you’re into manga. You collect certain genres of manga, but like anyone else, you have specific tastes. Maybe you’re not into romance. Maybe you’re not into mecha. You don’t collect yaoi/yuri manga, which is manga whose purpose is focused on gay/lesbian relationships. That wouldn’t inherently make you homophobic, because content like yaoi/yuri is specifically gay. It is only about the gay and goes all out for the gay. Its main purpose is the gay, its main audience is people who seek actively out that gay content. Not seeking out this type of genre isn’t homophobic, it’s just a preference, and isn’t too different from not being into the other genres. DISCLAIMER: This example is restricted to manga and probably porn. It is NOT the same thing to be like, “I’m not into cars, why is it a problem if I’m not into seeing gay people?” For the record, something like that would indubitably be homophobic.

When you see something that includes gay content, does the gay content devalue the piece for you? You complimented my art, which makes me think that it’s unlikely that you’re a raging homophobe because those types tend to foam at the mouth at anything that’s remotely LGBT and would sooner have a seizure than say anything good about gay content even in an insincere way. Here’s a thought experiment: imagine if your favorite artist (musical or visual) created something containing gay content, would you give it a fair shot or would it automatically not be as good as their other pieces for you? Again, this is a bit challenging in that for most people, they don’t love all of their favorite artist’s creations, and of course there’s the matter of our own personal experiences allowing us to relate more or less to any particular work and rate it accordingly. Here’s another way to think about it, if you look at classic works of art by the great masters, would it ever cross your mind that the ones depicting characters of a gender that you are attracted to are automatically superior to the ones depicting characters of a gender that you aren’t attracted to? I don’t mean in terms of personal appeal, but rather, would you feel that two works by the same master, containing different genders, would be different in terms of mastery? Anything with gay content is really no different, if you can see the value of a piece regardless of what’s depicted (gay versus not gay, we’re not talking about other subjects here), then you probably aren’t homophobic. Further, do you think it would matter to your appreciation of the art if you knew or did not know that the great master creating it was themselves gay?

Again, this is a complicated and important topic, but my blog isn’t dedicated to this topic so I’ll wrap things up here.

Finally, your sexuality doesn’t factor into this equation, in my opinion at least. It is sadly possible for LGBT+ people to discriminate against other LGBT+, a common instance of this is the erasure/invalidation/discrimination against bisexual people, pansexual people, and asexual people by others in the LGBT+ community. That being said, you might feel like because you’re straight it can make you be considered more homophobic. For instance, perhaps you’ve seen things along the lines of, “fuck straight people”. However, this sort condemnation I believe comes from the issue of societal imbalance and privilege. Being straight is a privilege because it’s considered the “norm” by society, and unfortunately, a lot of people who are privileged are blind about it and abuse that privilege. Like all generalizations, condemning a privileged group is flawed, but messages like “fuck <insert privileged party>” really mean, “fuck members of <insert privileged party> who abuse their privilege”. Anyway, I wanted to mention this, because your own identity does matter, and it’s important to take a step back and think about where you’re standing relative to an issue. I think you’re ok, Anon. It’s difficult to ask questions like these, even anonymously, especially to an LGBT+ content creator such as myself who one would expect to not give you an answer that you’d want to hear. It is such an understandably sensitive topic that you could’ve even been blasted for asking your question, but you did so anyway, so I think that’s pretty admirable. The ability to challenge our own perceptions is what allows us to grow, and makes us better people than those who are not capable of doing so. ]]

#LGBTQIA #LGBT+#lgbt representation #homophobia #ama #ooc #anonymous

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kjack89 · 4 years

Text

Personal Gain (Chapter 3/?)

Modern magic AU, developing E/R and Courferre. Read Chapter 1 here and read Chapter 2 here (or read on AO3).

Thanks to the meeting and a rather long-winded conversation Enjolras and Combeferre had after said meeting, Courfeyrac didn’t have to listen to any of Combeferre’s objections until they got back to his place later that night. But that didn’t mean that he didn’t feel Combeferre’s accusatory glare the entire time.

“I thought you said that love was something magic couldn’t replicate,” Combeferre said sternly when Courfeyrac plopped down on the couch.

“And it can’t,” Courfeyrac said. “Maybe calling it a love potion is a little strong. It’s more like an attraction potion. Or a, uh…” He waggled his eyebrows at Combeferre. “A lust potion, you might say.”

Combeferre wrinkled his nose. “A lust potion?” he repeated doubtfully.

“That’s right,” Courfeyrac said cheerfully. “All I need is to get Enjolras to drink the potion, and bam, all those feelings of desire they’ve both been trying to hide will come pouring out, and he’ll want to possess and keep Grantaire.”

“First off, that sounds a little rape-y,” Combeferre pointed out. “Secondly, what if it misdirects at the wrong person, and we all have to sit through Enjolras having a crush on Feuilly again?”

Courfeyrac rolled his eyes. “It requires a bit of the person it’s aimed at, so it’ll be fine,” he said confidently.

“I see you’re ignoring the rape-y part,” Combeferre said, and when Courfeyrac ignored him, instead flipping through the Book of Shadows, he sighed and added, “Guess we’ll have to revisit the topic of magical consent later.”

“We can revisit it now,” Courfeyrac murmured distractedly. “The potion only magnifies feelings that already exist, it doesn’t create them.”

“But it still reveals those feelings without consent,” Combeferre said, leaning forward, something almost excited in his tone, and Courfeyrac sighed, recognizing it all too well. This was an academic exercise for Combeferre, and while normally Courfeyrac was only too willing to help Combeferre puzzle his way through an intellectual problem, he wasn’t in the mood for it.

Instead, he picked up the Book of Shadows and headed into his kitchen to start gathering ingredients. Combeferre followed, and without any discussion, they started working together, Courfeyrac gathering the herbs he needed while Combeferre grabbed one of the smaller cauldrons and started filling it at the sink.

“I’m just saying,” Combeferre said over the sound of the running water. “If Enjolras and Grantaire haven’t said anything yet, maybe it’s for a reason.”

“There are a lot of reasons why people do and don’t say things,” Courfeyrac said. “But that doesn’t mean that my magic can’t help them.”

Combeferre turned the sink off and moved the cauldron to the stove. “Is helping them without their consent still considered helping?”

“The same question could be asked for all the magic that I do,” Courfeyrac pointed out, grabbing the tin of hibiscus tea that Jehan had given him from the cupboard and handing it to Combeferre, who opened a drawer to root around for the infuser. “It’s not possible to get consent in every or even most scenarios where my magic can help people. Would you rather I not use my magic at all?”

“I didn’t say that,” Combeferre said, filling the infuser with tea before handing it back to Courfeyrac, who promptly stuck it in the cauldron to steep. “And there are obvious situations where there isn’t time or the ability to get consent, just like in medicine. But you’re making a big assumption that your magic is helping and not hurting here, especially since you and I both know that your goal at the end of the day was to help yourself so that you don’t have to listen to them argue anymore.”

Courfeyrac rolled his eyes before carefully measuring dried damiana petals into the cauldron. “No, that’s why you think I’m doing this.”

Combeferre leaned against the kitchen counter. “Fine, then why are you doing this?”

Courfeyrac sighed, absently unscrewing and rescrewing the lid of his mason jar of moon water as he tried to find the right words. “Because they should be together,” he said, just a little stubbornly. “Because they both would be so happy with each other if they would just admit how they feel. Because I can help them realize that they have nothing to lose and everything to gain if they would just, I don’t know, use their words.” He shook his head, rummaging for a teaspoon in a drawer. “Because I love love.”

Combeferre’s expression was unreadable as he watched Courfeyrac sprinkle moon water into the cauldron, each droplet hissing as it hit the bubbling concoction. “Well, then, for your sake, I hope this works.”

“It will,” Courfeyrac said confidently, stirring the cauldron. “It’s foolproof.” Combeferre made a small noise of amusement and Courfeyrac glanced over at him. “What?” he asked defensively.

“Nothing,” Combeferre said. “Just...famous last words, you know?”

“I’m sure I don’t know what you mean,” Courfeyrac sniffed.

Combeferre grinned. “I’m sure you don’t.”

----------

The inaccurately named love potion took two weeks to brew, so Courfeyrac focused on getting the final ingredient: a little piece of Grantaire. This was made far easier than he expected by Enjolras, who came to the next Les Amis meeting looking even paler than usual. “You look like shit,” Grantaire told him, and Enjolras glared at him.

“You really know how to charm a guy,” he muttered, rubbing his arms. “It’s just freezing in here, that’s all.”

“Uh-huh,” Grantaire said skeptically, tugging his ratty green hoodie off and thrusting it unceremoniously at Enjolras. “Well, if you’re not going to go to bed and get some rest like I’m certain you should, at least this will stop you from shivering so hard we won’t be able to understand you.”

“Thanks,” Enjolras said grudgingly, taking the hoodie and pulling it on.

It was from that hoodie that Courfeyrac was able to inconspicuously pluck a few black hairs, which he added to the love potion that night.

And since Enjolras spent the next two weeks mutinously pretending he didn’t have a cold, it was easy enough for Courfeyrac to offer him some ‘tea’ when the time came. “For your, uh, allergies,” Courfeyrac said brightly, practically forcing the steaming mug on him.

“Danks,” Enjolras said, still wearing Grantaire’s hoodie, his stuffy nose making him sound far more like Joly than himself. He took a swig of tea and made a face. “New recipe?”

“Just something I’m trying out,” Courfeyrac said breezily. “Drink up, drink up.”

As Enjolras obediently drank the tea, Courfeyrac glanced over at Grantaire, who was watching Enjolras with a look of mild concern, though Courfeyrac speculated that had more to do with Enjolras’s stubborn insistence that he was healthy and hale than anything else. Enjolras handed the empty mug back, looking slightly less sickly than he had moments before. “I’d stick with the old recipe,” he advised. “I’m not sure—”

He broke off with a frown, and Courfeyrac tried not to look too eager. “Problem?”

Enjolras shook his head slowly. “No, I’m—”

He broke off again, but this time it was because he had been interrupted by a loud meow from somewhere around their ankles, and both men immediately looked down at the black cat that was twining through Enjolras’s legs and looking up at him…

Well, looking up at him with a look very much like one Grantaire normally wore.

“What are you doing in here?” Enjolras asked, sounding concerned, and he bent to pick the cat up.

Courfeyrac blinked. “Do you, uh, know this cat?”

Enjolras stroked the cat’s cheek with the back of his finger and nodded, his brow furrowed. “Sure, it’s the cat that lives in the alley outside, but I’ve never seen him come inside like this. He normally hisses if anyone gets too close. He’ll let me or Grantaire leave some food for him every now and then, but…”

He trailed off as the cat rubbed his head against Enjolras’s chest, purring loudly. “Maybe it’s because I’m wearing Grantaire’s hoodie?” he suggested, baffled.

As if he had heard his name, Grantaire appeared at Enjolras’s side, frowning. “What is the cat doing in here?” he asked, reaching out as if to pet the cat and jerking his hand back when the cat whipped his head around, hissing. “Nice kitty.”

“It’s ok,” Enjolras told the cat, his voice slipping into something that sounded an awful lot like a coo. “Grantaire brings you food sometimes, and you let him give you scritches, remember?”

The cat gazed adoringly up at Enjolras and Grantaire scowled, crossing his arms in front in his chest. “The damned thing was just letting me play with him a few weeks ago,” he complained. “And now I can’t even touch him? Not fair.”

Combeferre, who had been seated nearby watching this all unfold as he refused, this time around, to play any direct role in Courfeyrac’s spell-casting, cleared his throat. “Neither of you should probably be touching the cat,” he said. “It probably has fleas.”

But Enjolras ignored him, stroking the cat between the ears, his expression soft. “Maybe he’s tired of living in an alley,” he said. “Maybe I should take him home with me.”

Grantaire made a strangled noise in the back of his throat. “Home?” he repeated. “To your apartment that has a very clear ‘no pets’ policy in its lease?”

Enjolras ignored him and Courfeyrac frowned at Grantaire. “How in the world do you know what’s in Enjolras’s lease?”

Grantaire just arched an eyebrow. “How do you not know what’s in Enjolras’s lease?”

“That doesn’t even make sense—”

Courfeyrac’s protest was cut off by a sudden burst of frenetic sneezing from Bossuet. “Sorry,” he managed between. “I’m – achoo! – allergic.”

Joly patted Bossuet’s arm sympathetically. “A cat may be a corrective, but in this case, I think Benadryl’s your better bet,” he said with a stifled laugh. “Besides, it’s a black cat, and I’m not sure you need any more bad luck.”

“Maybe you should put the cat back outside,” Grantaire suggested, and when Enjolras and the cat both gave him an affronted look, he shrugged and added, “Unless you’d rather abandon the entire meeting for madness. I’m fine either way.”

Enjolras made a face, looking back down at the cat. “Maybe you’re right,” he said reluctantly. “C’mon, buddy, let’s go outside. I’ll see you after the meeting, how about that?”

He carried the cat out of the room, Grantaire trailing after him, and Courfeyrac let out a light groan, sinking down next to Combeferre, who didn’t even try to hide his ‘I told you so’ look. “You know what I’m thinking?” he asked mildly.

Courfeyrac groaned again and leaned forward to rest his forehead against the table. “That the hairs I pulled off of Grantaire’s hoodie were clearly cat hairs, and that, having read Harry Potter and the Chamber of Secrets about twenty-five thousand times, I probably should’ve seen this coming?”

Combeferre considered it for a second. “Well, that too.”

Courfeyrac turned his head to squint suspiciously at Combeferre. “What were you thinking?” he asked warily.

Combeferre’s grin was unbearably smug. “Like I said...famous last words.”

“Just you wait,” Courfeyrac said, sitting up. “I will figure out a way to get those two together, or I will die trying.”

Combeferre arched an eyebrow. “That seems a little dramatic, even for you.”

Courfeyrac’s eyes narrowed. “Just you wait. You ain’t seen nothing yet.”

“Well, given your success rate thus far, that certainly is true.”

Courfeyrac elbowed him sharply in the ribs and Combeferre groaned and laughed at the same time. “Worth it,” he muttered, rubbing his ribs, and Courfeyrac stuck his tongue out at him, his mind far away, trying to figure out just what, exactly, he had left to try next.

>>Read chapter 4 here>>

#exr #courferre #courfeyrac #combeferre #enjolras #grantaire #joly #bossuet #les miserables #fanfiction #modern au #magic au #developing relationship #chaptered #part 3

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prettywordsyouleft · 4 years

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More Than A Lifetime

Prompt: #191 for anon – “Why won’t they wake up?”

Anonymous said:

Hi! I’m here to help you finish your Drabble game! I love your writing! Would you feel comfortable writing the prompt “why won’t they wake up?” For Shownu of Monsta X?? Maybe some angst with a happy ending?? It’s totally ok of you don’t want to! Thank you for your time!! 💜💜💜💜

Pairing: Son Hyunwoo x reader

Genre: vampire au / angst / fluff

Warnings: mentioning of death

Word count: 1481

Glancing at the bodies before him and then back at his friend, Hyunwoo frowned. It wasn’t a situation he wanted to have a part in, and yet, he had been the one to cause such an unneeded ruckus in the first place. Guilt licked at his very existence, irking him further and he left out a frustrated breath, thrusting a hand exasperatedly at the pair seemingly in an endless slumber. “Why won’t they wake up?”

“Some transitions take time,” Hoseok murmured. However, Hyunwoo could tell the doctor beside him was as perplexed as he was. “Maybe because they were on the brink of death with their disease when you saved them-”

“Did I really save them?” Hyunwoo cut in softly, his dark eyes regarding you in particular. Your skin had been just as pallid when he met you, passing in and out of consciousness in your delirium. It had been your sister who had done the pleading for you both, holding your slumping body up despite the immense strain it was causing her to do so.

He had pitied you both but not enough to take your lives initially. Turning away, he had gone to step off when you had stumbled into his back, resting against him, chanting how cold he was to the touch. Perhaps it was your warmth, something he hadn’t had the ability to feel in decades, or the fact that your fragile heart had echoed in his mind. Hyunwoo’s resolve had broken and he had claimed your life, along with your sister’s.

Letting out an indignant scoff, Hyunwoo shook his head, answering his own question. “How is this any better than death? Being immortal is not a life one would want to have. I should have let them die. Maybe they will not make it through the change. I can only hope they find peace wherever they may be.”

Despite his statement, Hyunwoo checked in the infirmary for the following four days. On the fifth, he was stunned to find you sitting up in the bed, your back facing him. Rushing forward, he rounded the bed and stopped short when you snapped your focus towards his, narrowing your eyes immediately. He could see the changes; the colour of your eyes was once natural unlike the crimson they appeared as now. Your canines peeked out from your mouth when it fell open, and a cool breath expelled from you.

You had become a vampire after all. And Hyunwoo couldn’t help but feel taken back by how beautiful you were now with your strength returned.

However, you didn’t seem appreciative at all. “It was you, wasn’t it?”

“I don’t-”

“Fragments of your life plagued me whilst I laid here. Instead of a peaceful death, I saw nothing but bloodlust and destruction and-”

“You begged me,” he confirmed, folding his arms over his chest. “You clung to me and asked for my help. You’re not the only one who regrets such a situation.”

Opening your mouth, you changed your thought process, soon becoming thin-lipped with your frustration. The feeling was mutual, Hyunwoo wondering why he had even been excited to see you sit up. Glancing away from you, he watched the body in the bed next to yours begin to move.

“Your sister awakens. I shall leave you to your damnation together,” he announced, stalking away from your side and all the way to the study.

Closing the door with more force than necessary, Hyunwoo moved to his desk, gripping onto the table’s edge. “Why did I even bother?!”

“Because you once had a heart,” a voice replied, and the other vampire in the room smiled at him. Getting up, Jooheon approached Hyunwoo. “It doesn’t matter how long ago it stopped, you do it every time because you can’t bear to watch people suffer in their last breath.”

“Perhaps I should. She saw it as nothing but bloodlust! I’m insulted.”

Jooheon smirked. “You’re feeling again, brother.”

“It would be better that I didn’t,” Hyunwoo remarked, though he blinked slowly at Jooheon’s observation, a hand slipping to his chest. His heart laid dormant and yet, Hyunwoo was certain he felt the flicker of something.

A month passed and you had grown accustomed to your new existence. Your sister, Callie, had taken immediately to life as she saw it, her smiles encouraging warmth into the coven that had been missing for some time. Her laughter was also a stark contrast to your quietness, and when Hyunwoo entered the library, he paused when he noticed you reading over by the window.

You afforded him no greeting, your attention barely lifting from the book before you. However, when he sat down on the opposite end of the large bay window and closed his eyes as he got comfortable, you snapped your book shut swiftly. “Must you?”

“I have no interest in bothering you, Y/N. I merely am here for the afternoon sun.”

“Your mere presence is a bother to me,” you admitted and Hyunwoo smiled lazily in response. You let out a huff of air, though made no effort to depart his company either. Hyunwoo’s smile continued to grow. “Why here of all places?”

“The same reason you come to this spot as often as you do,” he told you, folding his arms loosely over his chest. “It’s the best place for the afternoon sun.”

“How did…” Trailing off, you soon fell silent and Hyunwoo peeked through one of his eyes at you. Your attention was out of the window now and he slowly opened his eyes properly, soaking you in much like he had come to re-energise in the natural warmth from outside.

He couldn’t stop the attraction he felt towards you even if you had condemned him for all he had done. Hyunwoo was captivated by the smallest details, and when you blinked, he watched as the lashes brushed over your skin before you turned to look at him. He had been certain you would have some sort of remark at his staring. Instead, you did the same back, watching him for what felt like a short eternity. It wasn’t until the sun dipped and the moon rose that he realised just how long you had been looking at one another for. Affected, he sat up suddenly, tumbling off the ledge and falling onto his hands and knees in the process.

You giggled.

Snapping his focus back to yours, it was the first time he’d seen you show any amusement within these walls. Watching the joy fill your face had been a poor decision on his behalf because it made you insatiable to Hyunwoo, his reflexes careening him back to your side, mere inches from your face.

You smiled warmly. “Why did you stop there? Isn’t it in your desires right now to take me?”

“All you see is bloodlust within me,” he reminded in a whisper, your hands reaching out to cup his face. Hyunwoo couldn’t stop his gasp with your connection to his face, nor did he refrain from nuzzling into your touch.

“You have always been the comfort I craved,” you confessed with a voice not much louder than he had been. “In death and now in… whatever I can call this.”

“Existence,” he offered and you nodded.

“It took me some time, and a few conversations with your brother to understand you. I shouldn’t have been so rude in the beginning.”

“I don’t blame you for being that way. This isn’t a life I wish upon anyone.”

“Yet you took mine anyway?”

He nodded. “Your touch back then urged me on.”

“Is it doing anything to you now?” you wondered and Hyunwoo moved through the remaining distance between you, kissing you passionately, hungrily. It had been too long since he had felt the caress of a woman, your moans and contented sighs eliciting further desire within him. As Hyunwoo laid you down upon the window’s ledge beneath him, you stopped him, clinging to him instead of continuing the heated moment. “Will you ever take another life like mine and claim her like you are about to with me?”

He shook his head adamantly. “I have never been compelled to claim anyone as my own.”

“Not even me?”

“I don’t hold ownership over you, nor if I lay with you right now, does it make you mine forever. Contrary to what is written about vampires, I don’t wish to covet anyone.”

You tilted your head. “Is that so?”

“However, I would like it very much if you remained at my side,” he concluded earnestly and you smiled with relief. Hyunwoo chuckled. “You seemed worried for a moment there.”

“Of course. I don’t want your temporary comfort, but a lifetime of it.”

Hyunwoo smiled again, kissing you affectionately. “Well, fortunately for you we have more than a lifetime together. I hope my comfort continues to be all you ever need.”

_________________

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ohbyunhunn · 4 years

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Same as my Hiruzen post, just wanna keep this analysis using the feminist (I hope I did it right and my Literature teachers won’t roll their eyes at me lol) (but it’s just for Twitter so wtvr) approach on my Tumblr too. Was posted on July 11 2020:

Ok this has been in my (Twitter) drafts for so long but I wanted to wait till I finish all 500 episodes to post this lol. I love Naruto but God, the writing for its female characters is shit. This is written based only on Naruto and Naruto Shippūden (manga and anime). I think it got better in Boruto but I’ve yet to see it. Anyway

Women are not given the burden of carrying important roles that represent relationships built throughout the series, as if, they are not capable of creating bonds strong enough to drive a character even though it is what Naruto is all about; the importance of bonds between humans.

Examples of relationships;

Friends: Naruto-Sasuke, Kakashi-Obito

Kouhai-senpai: Itachi-Shisui

Siblings: Itachi-Sasuke

Student-teacher: Naruto-Jiraiya, Naruto-Iruka, Asuma-Shikamaru

Patriotism: Itachi-Konoha, Shisui-Konoha

Lovers to enemies: Hashirama-Madara ( :p )

These relationships as we all know are the basis of the series’ plots and developments. I mean, if not for Naruto’s feelings towards Sasuke, the anime won’t exist... and if not for Sasuke’s feelings towards Itachi, he wouldn’t have abandoned Naruto... and if not for Itachi’s patriotism towards his village, he wouldn’t have killed off the Uchiha clan, which is the reason why Sasuke hated him in the first place. These three related, complementing events are I think crucial instances of what the Naruto universe is built upon. They also are the reason other relationships were able to be expanded (i.e. Itachi-Shisui share the same loyalty and love for Konoha, Naruto became Jiraiya’s apprentice to be able to compete with Sasuke).

And as u can see, no female characters are involved at all. Only time female characters are seen creating bonds and/or have a role to move the plot is when they are driven by romance (e.g. Hinata-Naruto, Tsunade-Dan, Karin-Sasuke). This paints the idea that women are only concerned of men and romance in the anime?? Even a simple friendship between female characters was almost impossible to be portrayed healthily (i.e. Sakura-Ino are supposedly good friends but they always put down each other).

The anime itself has agreed that the sole reason a female is present amongst male characters is because they are able to be motivated when a woman is around to be impressed, which will lead them to wanting to improve themselves and become better shinobi.

When Kakashi asked Hiruzen why were Naruto, Sasuke and Sakura put together in a team, the answer he got was because Sasuke needs someone with the experience of using Sharingan to be there for him when his is activated and in order to be able to control the Kyuubi inside Naruto in case it goes berserk again, Sharingan is needed, which is a sound reason why the two of them are put together.

And Sakura??? Hiruzen said (omg it still pisses me off), she’s only in Team 7 because that would drive the boys to become stronger because they would want to impress Sakura. Like?? She only exists to be a fucking trophy that could be won is it?? That’s it?? I think this was why at first I was against Sakura and Sasuke’s relationship. IT DIDN’T SEEM TRUE. Yea yea I know there are scenes that have suggested their feelings are mutual but lol let’s be real. Boruto saved it. If not for how they’re presented in Boruto,,, lol.

Anyway, Kakashi was seen to be on the same page with Hiruzen because he was reminded of how Obito worked hard to catch up to him so that he could impress Rin. The same thing happened to Hiruzen’s team; Jiraiya wanted to beat Orochimaru just to catch Tsunade’s attention. I understand that it is natural for boys (and girls) to improve themselves in order to attract the person they like but to give female characters no role other than to be a trophy?? That’s just dumb and objectifying.

Sakura got a shit ton of hate ever since Naruto (her character only improved A BIT in Shippūden), and honestly, Idt it’s her fault. Her character writing was so shit that all she ever did was scream Sasuke’s name and when Sasuke is knocked out, she’d call for Naruto. She has a great potential to become a kunoichi of the same level as her teammates but the anime never tried to put the spotlight on her. A lot of times we saw other characters say “wow Sakura has potential” but we never see that being polished on screen.

If only she was given the chance to take an active role in battles, maybe the anime would’ve appeared better in regards to its treatment towards female characters. The only battle that I remember of with Sakura taking an active part in it??? Her fight with Sasori. Not saying that her role during the war is insignificant but even with that in mind, when Sasuke is present, she could only think of him??

And SHE COULD’VE STOPPED MUGEN TSUKUYOMI BY DESTROYING OBITO’s RINNEGAN BUT BECAUSE SHE HESITATED, MADARA MANAGED TO STEAL IT!!

[ This video has all the Sakura scenes that pissed me off. ]

Why did she hesitate?? She’s a medic nin fgs?? This is what I meant by her writing is shit. The Sakura that I know wouldn’t think twice to do what she needed to. AND to think that just a few moments before, SHE SAVED NARUTO’S LIFE?? BY PUMPING HIS HEART USING HER HAND??? And he survived!! With her aid!! The fact that she managed to pull that off but not destroying Obito’s Rinnegan is just pure bullshit.

But I’m sort of glad they had the filler episodes where they showed Sakura’s (and Ino’s) growth, how they went thru their training and stuff. It’s not much but thanks for the fillers I guess?? The manga can go suck some balls.

Another mention of a female character being disregarded as an important ninja would be Konan. Throughout the Naruto vs Akatsuki arc, Konan’s skills and determination have been displayed countless of times. And I’m glad she was given the chance to prove her ability but what rubbed me off the wrong way was Jiraiya’s opinion on her. Every time he spoke of the three orphans he took in, he always mentioned Nagato’s strength and Yahiko’s desire to bring peace in a positive manner. But when it comes to Konan, his only adjective for her was “pretty”.

Konan is more than just a feminine presence with beauty as her only personality?? She’s a strong-willed person who is able to stand alongside her comrades in fighting for what they believe in. She was willing to sacrifice herself in order to defeat Obito/Madara in a heartbeat!! Jiraiya could’ve said better things about her.

From this, we can say how biased a male character’s view is on other females?? As if, only men would fight against injustices of the shinobi world but women?? uwu she pretty yes she will grow up to be a beautifoOl woman.

Kishimoto couldn’t write women very well and he admitted this himself but God, I wish he would’ve tried harder. Not able to write women well is such a shitty excuse for a writer... especially when we know his female characters are capable just as much as their male counterparts.

Also I try to take this positively but you know how during Naruto’s time, the only medic nins are his female characters? (i.e. Sakura, Ino, Tsunade) I think he meant to portray women as healers and that’s a pure intention but lol it also sort of sends the message that to him, no matter how smart and talented a woman is, they shall not be given the duty to fight!! They should just wait and be ready to receive injured comrades while the boys go fight evil and bring peace!! I wanna give credit to him for making women healers but lol does he deserve it??

Thank you for coming to my Ted Talk.

#Naruto #Uzumaki Naruto #Uchiha Sasuke #Haruno Sakura #Hatake Kakashi #Sarutobi Hiruzen #Uchiha Obito #Yamanaka Ino #Konan #Akatsuki #oby brain dump

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undertalethingies · 3 years

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Self Indulgent Self Insert Fanfic, Part One

I am sitting in my room, not doing much of anything, (as per usual) when I look up and notice that my mirror has apparently transformed into a solid wall of inky darkness as I’ve been spacing out.

And well- it’s not like I can not poke it, right? There’s a high chance I’ll seriously regret it, if my life has become the isekai it appears to be, but there’s a 100% chance I’ll regret it forever if I don’t touch it, you know?

Everyone always assumes I’m risk averse, that I like to play it safe, but the truth of the matter is I’ve just never found something I really want to take a risk with.

So, I push myself out of bed with a hand and go grab my shoes, because there’s no way in hell I’m touching something that might be a portal with no shoes on. Thankfully, I’m actually dressed for once, rather than being in my bathrobe like usual.

Once I’ve got my shoes on, I grab my coat from where it hangs by my dresser and walk straight into what used to be my mirror. I hope my parents aren’t too worried by my disappearance. Maybe I’ll be lucky and this will be the kind of isekai that retroactively erases me from existence? That would be kind of nice, to exist without tethers.

The portal (because that’s what it is, I’m pretty sure) feels cool, but not unpleasantly so. Like when you first put on a fleece sweater and it takes a moment to warm up.

If this were a stereotypical isekai story, things would quickly become very unpleasant in this dark void, and some godlike being would reach out to grant me power beyond my wildest imaginings.

I’ve never been one to cave to expectations, though. Not even my own.

The darkness remains cool and comforting, and I continue walking forward because there’s no chance I’m going to turn back now, with so much possibility awaiting me if I only continue long enough.

Eventually, I feel as if I’ve passed some threshold, and something definably changes within me. Can’t say what, though. I’ve always kinda sucked at interpreting what my body is trying to tell me, so I’ll probably have to figure it out on my own.

At some point the darkness and walking grows boring, and so I do what I often do when bored, and curl up to go to sleep. This place isn’t cold enough for me to need a blanket, and I’ve got my coat with me anyway, so I’m fine. Sleeping on hard surfaces isn’t unpleasant, in my opinion, merely a bit annoying, since if you pick the wrong position you’ll inevitably wake up sore.

As always, consciousness takes a while to fade, so I occupy myself with grand imaginings about all the wonderful (and terrible, I’ve got anxiety okay, I can’t help it) things that might await me.

When I wake, it’s immediately obvious that something is different. There’s light now, for one, and for two I can feel something soft and organic beneath me. Judging by smell alone… Flowers? Waking up on a bed of flowers in a lit room… Well, I’ve always wished I could live in Undertale, if only so I could chew out the characters for bottling up their feelings so damn much. Hey, maybe if I’m lucky, that one headcanon I have about Sans secretly being a teenager will be right and I’ll be able to flirt with him without it being creepy.

Oh come on, like everyone attracted to dudes and not overly hung up about species concerns doesn’t want to kiss that guy, are you kidding me? Plus, I love puns and I’m depressed, surely we’ll get along.

Oh boy, I’m definitely going to die, huh? Thank fuck for my high pain tolerance and ridiculous resistance to trauma, am I right?

Finally, I open my eyes, because I like to wake up slow and I see no reason to alter my existing routine simply because I’ve apparently been yeeted into my favorite video game. Hey, speaking of favorite video games, will I get to visit Hollow Knight next? No, wait, that would probably suck, wouldn’t it. Ah, well.

The cave is just as beautiful as I always imagined it would be. Though it looked lovely in the game art, there’s truly nothing that can compare to seeing the sight in person, those marble pillars in a half circle around me, that single spot of sunlight in the ceiling far (far, far) above. Not to mention the lovely flowers I’m laying on at this very moment and- there’s a dead body under me, isn’t there. Is Chara going to show up, or am I left to be alone in my head?

Though their narration doesn’t actually start until you meet Flowey, in the game, so I suppose I’ll just have to wait and see.

Wait.

Wait wait wait.

Which human soul am I taking the place of right now? Because I read a fic once where the protagonist wasn’t the seventh, even if it was a fakeout, and I very much do not want to be saddled with the fate of those poor bastards.

Though, maybe I’d be able to talk my way out? There’s no one who’d call me diplomatic, for sure, but I’m pretty great at knowing exactly where to aim an insult to utterly break someone’s spirit. (Unusual skill, I’m aware, but in my defense I was bullied growing up)(I say “growing up” like I’m not still doing it, like I’m not fourteen and trapped in a world where it’s an accepted fact that the protagonist will die, and several times over, too)

My first order of business is Flowey, before I can take the time to freak out, to hold myself tight and weather the sheer panic that Toto, I am not in Kansas anymore.

I get up. I give a last fond look to the beautiful cave I’ve “fallen” into, and I walk to the next room, hoping all the while that I’m not signing my own death sentence.

Once I’m a few feet in, there he is, in all his fucking glory.

Flowey the flower, the soulless remnant of prince Asriel Dreemurr, former hope of the underground, possibly still holder of the ability to control time itself.

Yeah, I’m definitely going to mess with him. Self preservation is for losers.

“You’re a flower with a face,” I say before he can start with his usual greeting. I have it memorized anyway, so it’s not like I’m missing out on anything.

He makes his T-T face, so I know this isn’t how he thought this would go.

“Wow, human! What gave you that impression?” Ooh, sassy. Literally his only positive trait.

“Well I have eyes, see,” I was planning to ask him probing questions, but honestly this is just as good. His expression doesn’t change as he says his next sentence, nor does his ever cheery tone, (and holy fuck his voice is just as vaguely creepy as I’d imagined, all that childlike innocence paired with the fact that he’s a mass murderer)

“Well howdy, human with eyes! I’m Flowey, flowey the flower!” He says. I don’t interject.

“You’re clearly new to the underground, and it looks like I’m the only one around to show you how things work around here! Are you ready?”

…

“I’m really not, to be honest. I’ve got no idea what’s going on,” So my plan here, basically, is to stall until Toriel gets here. Mostly because I’m hoping that if he doesn’t get the chance to do his betrayal, he’ll keep pretending to be nice, which will be hilarious since I’ll know he’s faking the whole time.

Admittedly, this significantly increases the likelihood that Toriel won’t come to save me when he inevitably finds a secluded place to murder me, but if I think too hard about the long term right now I’m going to scream, so.

“Well you see, human, you’ve fallen into the underground, a land inhabited by monsters! Don’t worry though, we’re quite nice,” Oh right, conversation. I wonder how much info I can get out of him…

“What’s a monster? Like, I know what it means on the surface, but that definition is pretty vague, and I don’t want to be accidentally racist,”

His face pops back to the usual smile. (Side note: his face looks like it was drawn on with sharpie and it’s totally messing me up)

“A monster is a being made of magic!” Ok, that’s… a bit vague, but not really inaccurate. I guess he doesn’t want to get into the science, which is a damn shame, since he probably knows it backwards and forwards due to all his reset shenanigans.

“Woah, cool. Magic is real? How does it work without breaking thermodynamics?” Finally, the question I’ve always wanted to ask. If energy can’t be created, how the fuck does Toriel shoot fireballs from her hands? What is she drawing on, what is the fire burning, how hot is it, how does it keep being on fire, etc. etc. repeat for every magical display in the game.

“Well, a lot of it isn’t super understood. Scientists have mostly been pinning it on ‘dark energy’ like they do with every other phenomenon they don’t totally understand,” I wonder why he’s so willingly entertaining my time wasting antics. I know, in game, he didn’t realize he’d lost control over the timeline until after his first talk with Frisk, so maybe he’s just waiting it out to see where it goes? And then of course he must be planning other things to do with me before he takes my soul and goes to the surface…

“God, I hate dark energy in science. I know they just call it that because not much is known about it, but I’m thirsty for knowledge, you know?” Actually ‘thirsty for knowledge’ describes my mood like 90% of the time. Huh, actually, I have that in common with Flowey, right? Even if his knowledge thirst is just due to boredom.

“Hey, human, me too! Learning new things is great!” There’s a loaded sentence if i’ve ever heard one. When was the last time he learned something new? He’s supposedly read every book in the underground, but how much information from that did he actually retain?

“Isn’t it? It’s why I love Youtube so much. Free information for anyone who cares to make a few clicks!” Wait, he probably doesn’t know what Youtube is, actually.

“What’s Youtube?” He asks, cocking his head.

“It’s a service where you can upload videos or watch videos other people have uploaded,” Not the most nuanced explanation, but it’ll do for now. Before Flowey has a chance to respond, a fireball manifests next to him.

I don’t smile because I’m pretending to be shocked, but I’m laughing my ass off on the inside. The face he makes is even more ridiculous in person.

Enter Toriel, queen of the monsters, mother of no living children.

#undertale #undertale fanfiction #undertale fanfic #self insert #i'm not tagging it reader insert because the insert is very specifically me #flowey #this is purely self indulgent so i'm making no effort for it to sound polished

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vavuska · 4 years

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If you do quick search on Google Imagine for draw of chubby persons, you will see that most of the subjects are drawn with sad expressions, while their slim and athletic alter egos are happy and smiling.

Why they are sad? Because they are “overweight” and they have low self-esteem.

Mmmm. They have low self-esteem because society told them — and us — that if our bodies doesn't match with standards imposed by mainstream media, we have no value: we are not attractive, ambitious or, yes, smart. We have no talent and no one will love us. That's not true, obviously.

Being slim and athletic won't make necessarly us happy.

Some girls who have a natural thin body structure for genetic reasons, have find their selves slotted into a footnote: “Oh yeah, and if you’re naturally skinny—must be nice—you’ve got a fast metabolism and stuff so, ya know, just eat more.”

That “just eat more” advice would work fine for most people, but the fact that they aren’t most people is precisely why they’re being given that advice in the first place, and also why that advice is rather naive. For most people, eating lots of food means gaining weight. Maybe the person who heard that thing, is actually eating a lot and they probably even like it (but they don't got fat).

What most people don’t realize is that telling someone to eat more is as silly as us telling someone other, “Just eat less—duh.” That’s not going to solve any problems: it is just making them feel uncomfortable with their body.

Again, if you search for "skinny girls draw" on Google Imagine, you will find smiling persons, that show proudly an apple, compared with chubby sad persons with fuzzy drinks and hamburgers.

Ok. A complete meal against a fruit. Wow.

Both being underweight that being overweight could cause or be caused by depression.

Although depression amongst overweight people is more common in women than men, both genders are equally prone to feeling depressed when it comes to thin people.

The study was conducted by Seoul National University of Medicine, but experts have not concluded whether being skinny is a cause or symptom of depression.

They pointed out that depressed people may be more likely to lose - or gain - weight, or it could be that being thin - or overweight - makes people depressed.

However there are gender differences.

“It seems that the current ideal of thinness affects women more than their male counterparts and causes more psychological distress in women, which can, in turn, lead to depression,” the researchers said.

“In contrast, men who are overweight showed a significantly decreased risk of depression.”

Dr Agnes Ayton, vice-chairman of the eating disorders faculty at the Royal College of Psychiatrists, said: “This large study confirms that optimal nutrition is fundamentally important for physical and mental health. Both being underweight and obese is associated with an increased risk of depression.”

“It is an important finding, as people with eating disorders often assume that losing weight will improve their happiness. This study shows that the opposite is true and malnutrition has a detrimental effect on people's mood. Maintaining a healthy weight is essential for good mental health.”

Ok, so... An happy life and an happy mental health is very connected with a good self-esteem than the actual “healthy weight”. People with healthy weight can have a low self-esteem and depression too.

I admit that I lack a lot of confidence and do not feel good about myself most of the time.

And when low self-esteem becomes a long-term problem, it can have a harmful effect on our mental health and our day-to-day lives.

What is self-esteem?

Self-esteem is the opinion we have of ourselves.

When we have healthy self-esteem, we tend to feel positive about ourselves and about life in general. It makes us better able to deal with life's ups and downs.

When our self-esteem is low, we tend to see ourselves and our life in a more negative and critical light. We also feel less able to take on the challenges that life throws at us.

If you have low self-esteem or confidence, you may hide yourself away from social situations, stop trying new things, and avoid things you find challenging.

In the short term, avoiding challenging and difficult situations might make you feel safe.

In the longer term, this can backfire because it reinforces your underlying doubts and fears. It teaches you the unhelpful rule that the only way to cope is by avoiding things.

Living with low self-esteem can harm your mental health and lead to problems such as depression and anxiety.

You may also develop unhelpful habits, such as smoking and drinking too much, as a way of coping. Or searching for comfort in food.

People with a good self-esteem are able to feel good about themselves for who they are, appreciate their own worth, and take pride in their abilities and accomplishments. They also acknowledge that while they’re not perfect and have faults, those faults don’t play an overwhelming or irrationally large role in their lives or their own self-image (how you see yourself).

HERE SOME USEFUL TIPS TO RAISE YOUR SELF-ESTEEM:

Our self-image is deeply connect with our body image.

What is body image?

Body image is defined as an individual construct that is influenced by mixed feelings and ideas about one’s own appearance.

However, because there is a complex overlap between emotions and self-perception, body image is not always reflective of how an individual actually appears. Like self-esteem, body image can be distorted or inflated, relatively accurate or slightly ignored depending on the individual.

If you’re an individual who has struggled with poor body image and depression, it can be difficult to distinguish which came first.

Understanding where negative self-talk begins can be an overwhelming endeavor. Many people have become so accustomed to the emphasis our culture places on appearance that obsessing about it seems normal. In addition to this, there are unlimited ways an individual’s self-esteem and the way they perceive their body can be influenced.

Women are generally characterized by being concerned about attractiveness, and less satisfied with their appearance based on achieving unrealistic standards of thinness. While the foundations for acceptable appearance may be built in adolescence, as adults we often find attractiveness correlated with success, competency or happiness. This message, however it may be played out in media, can reinforce scrutiny about body image and dissatisfaction or unhappiness at not meeting the standard.

This by no means indicates that men are not vulnerable to the cycles of negative body image and depression. In fact, it’s estimated that roughly 45% of men are unhappy with their bodies (Better Health). The same factors and pressures exist for men, but the ways in which the disorders will express themselves can be different.

Men, for example, can be more likely to engage in over-exercising, generally being pushed toward the use and effectiveness of their body being likened to a machine.

There is a correlation between poor body image and eating behaviors. When people feel poorly about themselves and have a negative body image, they are more likely to be susceptible to disordered eating behavior (Cargill, 2012). The negative self-talk and appraisal of one’s body and appearance, coupled with depression, can lead to a negative cycle of living.

HERE YOU CAN FIND SOME USEFUL TIPS ABOUT RAISING YOUR SELF-IMAGE:

The article above give precious advice:

- Give yourself some daily task: I know that can be difficult, but it will give a purpose to your day and it will make you fell better, if you completed your "to do" list. Search for quotes that will inspire you to give your best. Set realistic expectations for yourself: Consciously think how reasonable and manageable your goals are before striving for them, remembering that life in general is imperfect. Recognise there is a huge difference between failing at something you do and being a failure as a person. Don’t confuse the two. Redefine failure, and keep trying. When you have low self-esteem, it’s common to think of yourself as a complete and utter failure. But failure is part of success. Failure doesn’t characterize you as a person or determine your self-worth.

- Develop your interests: When you’re depressed and your self-esteem feels like it’s sinking daily, it’s easy to overlook your passions. Take the time to “write a list of things you used to love to do and stopped doing along with things you always wanted to do but haven’t done yet.”

For exemple, if you loved to draw, then take your time, a paper and draw something inspire you.

- Do some exercise: that don't means that you must to start to have hard gym training, it have a cost, and you could be not ready for that (myself avoid gyms because I don't want to be judged for my body), but you can make some movement in other ways: instead of moving your care, you can walk to reach near destination or use a bike, if you have one. One of the best parts of my day is biking to university: when I'm nervous, it calms me.

That's why I decided to turn that negative narration in a positive one: I edited the pics to meke people happier and give them various interests!

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firelxdykatara · 5 years

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Ok, I need to talk about Oblivio for a bit. Because reasons. Bear with me.

Anyway, there are a lot of episodes--individually and collectively as part of various narrative arcs--that I deeply, deeply enjoy from this show, but if I had to pick a favorite episode right now? Oblivio would win, hands down. I talked for a bit, during my liveblog, about how Marinette and Adrien, working together without their memories, was about as real as a relationship between them could possibly get, because it was the both of them in their true ‘faces’, since neither of them had the baggage of family and public expectations (adrien) or wildly intense crushes (marinette), and yet they still had the connection that has always drawn them together from the beginning of their relationship.

And I’ve talked a bunch, most notably during the origins two-parter, about how it’s tragically ironic that Marinette fell for Adrien and Adrien fell for Ladybug because Chat Noir is Adrien being his truest self, while for Marinette the Ladybug is a mask, a duty, and her truest self is her civilian identity. And one of the reasons, at the moment, that Marichat is my favorite ship within the Love Square (Adrienette is my endgame hope in concept, but for me Adrienette can only be fully realized once the walls come down, the reveal happens, and they realize where their true feelings have been leading them this whole time) is because it’s the only relationship where neither party is held up on a pedestal, making them on far more even footing than in any of the other combinations.

(Now, one could argue that they’re more or less equal in Ladrien too, since they’re both on pedestals in that ship, but any pedestal at all means the potential of falling and for me the more healthy ship is the one where everyone is grounded, so to speak.)

Adrien loves Ladybug, and I do believe he loves all of her--imperfections and all--but he definitely idolizes here to a degree. And I think that he’s at a point, with her, where he doesn’t see her flaws as flaws--there’ve been moments where she’s tested his limits, of course (see: the scene where he got upset with her for playing with his feelings after standing him up), but he bounces back remarkably quickly where she’s concerned, and I think that’s partly because in his eyes she can do no wrong, which isn’t exactly a healthy attitude on which to build a relationship.

Marinette, on the other hand, loves Adrien, and the pedestal she’s placed him on is one where she doesn’t even notice his flaws. It’s similar to the way Adrien views Ladybug, but it’s less hero-worship and more ‘he’s literally perfect and every time I look at him I start picturing our wedding and kids and what sort of hamster we’ll have’. Further, Marinette has had a harder time really connecting with Adrien than Chat ever had with Ladybug, because it took so long for her to even be able to string a coherent sentence together in his presence. Thus, a lot of her love has been the sort of ‘crushing from afar’ that is fairly common in intense high school infatuations (in my experience, at least) but, again, not a great foundation for a healthy relationship.

With Marichat, though, it’s just a girl and a boy with no expectations placed on each other’s shoulders. No one’s on a pedestal, so there’s no danger of falling, and neither of them sees the other through any sort of rose-tinted perfection--they can be real and open and honest with each other in a way that no other relationship in the love square can. Which is why Marinette and Chat slowly developing feelings for each other is one of the more rewarding facets of the big, tangled mess that is their whole relationship, and it makes it my favorite of the four.

At some point, of course, the Love Square is going to get a resolution--it needs one, and I don’t think for a second that they would have built three whole seasons on the foundation of four different relationships that exist between the same two people if they weren’t going to eventually follow through on it--and that is going to require a reveal of their secret identities as well as some pretty big realizations as to the true nature of their own feelings, and I think this has the best chance of happening with a Square Switch (by which I mean Marinette realizing her feelings for Chat and Adrien realizing his for Marinette), but what I love so much about Oblivio is that it gave us a look at what a fully realized relationship, a resolved Love Square, is going to look like.

And I know, I know how frustrating the reset was. I was right there sobbing and cursing the TV gods (or whoever is responsible for the show, whatever) when they kissed and then suddenly had no memory of why. (The kiss itself was fucking beautiful, though, and I’m glad that there is at least photographic evidence of it in canon, even if neither of them understand why it happened.) But the fact remains that we got a solid twenty minutes of pure Adrienette--the Love Square distilled down to its most basic components, Adrien and Marinette in love and still partners.

One of the things I’ve seen a bit of lately is the idea that revealing their secret identities and resolving the love square would be detrimental to their ability to work together. Desparado is cited for this, because Adrien spent months (it still hurts just thinking about it--he spent months, in five-minute increments, watching Ladybug die again and again and again, and he couldn’t save her even once in all that time) trying to prove he could be with Ladybug as Adrien, and it ended in abject failure. But that wasn’t because Adrien and Ladybug had feelings for each other. It was because Ladybug didn’t need just any partner--she needs Chat Noir to work most effectively.

While he was Aspik, Adrien couldn’t be as effective as Chat, and not just because he was far more used to Chat Noir’s powerset--but because with the snake miraculous, he was still Adrien, just Adrien-as-Aspik, and a huge part of why he couldn’t succeed was his need to prove himself to Ladybug which he just doesn’t have as Chat. He was viewing the entire situation through the lens of ‘if I can get Ladybug to love me as Adrien then maybe I’ll have a chance with her after all’. And he couldn’t be his best superhero self while that was the overriding concern in his mind.

In Oblivio, on the other hand, we see what it would be like if there were no walls, no pedestals, nothing but two superhero partners who just happened to be in love with each other. Notably, they had no real reason to believe they were a serious couple, the images were all fairly ambiguous and the footage they saw was not exactly couple-y banter--but I think they read into it far more than they would have if there wasn’t that underlying attraction and connection which they felt from the moment they woke up together in that elevator. And then there were lines like Adrien’s “I don’t need any memory to know I love that girl”, and he was fucking extra enough to build a whole ass suit out of cardboard (he drew the pockets on, he’s a fucking dork, i love him) so that he could fight by Marinette’s side even though his superpowered cat plushie hadn’t come back yet.

These two, believing they were in love with each other, worked together almost flawlessly. There wasn’t any sense that their feelings for each other impeded their efforts--in fact, it seemed more like it was because they believed in their relationship that they were able to find their groove so easily, and save the day where their selves-with-memories had failed. With all the memories and baggage they have, it’s going to be a very long road before they can reach that same level of synergy in a relationship, because they’re going to need that reveal and then resolve the other points of the Love Square before they can make any real progress in becoming the ultimate Battle Couple, but Oblivio showed us that it is very much possible--and, indeed, I think it showed us what their relationship is eventually going to be.

Furthermore, I don’t think it’s going to be as dangerous for them to be doing their superhero’ing while dating as some might think, because we already know that Chat is willing to sacrifice himself to save Ladybug (and does so on a regular basis--it’s a really good thing that just about nothing the villains do is actually lethal or can’t be fixed at the end with magic ladybugs), and there’s not a whole lot Ladybug wouldn’t do already to save Chat if he were in real danger, too. So I think that not only will resolving the Love Square give them a stronger friendship and relationship overall, but it will enable them to work even more effectively together, with the bonus being we’d get to see more real kisses and cuddles.

#adrienette #marichat #miraculous ladybug #chat noir #adrien agreste #marinette dupain cheng #oblivio #ml meta #i have a lot of feelings about That Damn Episode ok

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defeatedbyamerechild · 4 years

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a dream i have

hello so uh ever since i was in to pokemon i had this day dream and still have it sometimes anyway it started as an idea for a fanmade evil pokemon team called team nightmare the leaders name is Draco Darknram (Dark-nin-ram) the admins names are Sebastian (male#1) , Prometheus (male#2) Claudia (female #1) and Torali (Tor -a-lie) the leader has a very young daughter by the name lisa who has powers like physic abilities , can read peoples minds can hear the voices of pokemon , is extremely intelligent , can control legendary pokemon and can make wild mean pokemon kind and loving anyway Draco found lisa being attacked and bullied by other people so Draco took and adopted young lisa and raised and loved her as his own and yes this character actually cares about his own child and team . now if ya wonderin what Draco and lisa look like lisa has long dark purple curly hair wears a light purple tube top and purpleish pink leggings with regular purple shoes has blue eyes wares glasses and she is six years old but act like a very mature adult now draco has medium blonde hair wears a black felt sweater like shirt with black leather pants and has a light black cape and very dark brown boots he is very handsome and very attractive and wares glasses like lisa now the admins Sebastian wears an all black tuxedo has very dark purple hair has black sun glasses , Prometheus has a spiked leather black jacket a dark grey tank top and purple boots and dark grey hair , claudia wares a black short coat with grey buttons wears a purple long dress and a black fedora and light grey high heels and a necklace with a purple heart ,and black hair Toralie wears an outfit kinda like the one lady gaga wears in the intro of poker face except its dark purple and the mask is black and has light grey hair now on to the grunts *for the females* ever seen lady gagas blue outfit that she wears in poker face* well you might have to watch the video to know what i am talking about* anyway they wear that which is dark purple they ware gray tights and black gloves and gray shoes they have long dark gray hair and they wear sliver sunglasses Now the males they wear the same lady gaga outfit thing except the bottom has shorts and instead of it being purple its black with purple tights they have black hair with grey shoes and wear dark grey sunglasses. now they are from the Sadoka region (sa -do -ka ) which is close to galar their hideout is a huge abandoned castle . anyway sorry this is super long but i understand if you say no but the reason im tellin ya bout this because i want to make a series where team nightmare team up with team rainbow rocket and well id make it myself its just that i’m not good at art so maybe you could help me make this series like a collab or something but if ye say no i understand but feel free to draw the characters if ye’d like of course ye don’t have to . thanks for reading :)

———-

Heya! Ok, first of all: this is really cool!

I also keep daydreaming a lot thinking about stories, but usually they are about characters that already exist, like the ones here in the blog, so it’s super amazing to me that you can actually think of all that just out of your imagination, specially with so much detail regarding the character’s clothes and hairs, their story, the relationships between them and etc.

I really like your descriptions and it seems to me that you have a color pallete going on there… with lots of purples and grays. That’s very nice! It totally sounds like something that could be canon in the games. Really, congratulations, because it’s very well-thought! And I have to add that I love the names Torali and Prometheus. I know Prometheus is from a Greek legend, but Torali is a name I’ve never heard before and I really liked it. ^^

Also, you don’t need to apologize for the long text, I always write gigantic chuncks of text myself, so who am I to complain? It’s fine. :) Thanks for sharing your ideas with me and the other followers, I’m sure others will enjoy it as well! :D

Now… uh… It’s kinda painful to me to say it, and I’m sorry about it, but I’ll have to refuse the offer of working with you on that project… Not because I didn’t like your idea or don’t feel like working with you on it, but because I’m currently pretty much overwhelmed by all the projects I have for my blog, and I really don’t think I’d be able to engage in another drawing-related project now… :/ I’m already working on my comics at a slower pace than I wish I could, and I’m trying to think about how to accelerate the process of drawing them so that I can post more often… I’m also creating some written content about the Villains and I have some drawing rewards for my patrons that I need to finish… As well as drawing stuff to keep my Instagram alive every now and then. And there are also my sideprojects that I make with my siblings: we make some comics about Sonic characters in my own language, and even though they are just something between me and my sibs, I don’t want to give up on this project and let them down. And I’m looking for a job because capitalism……. Oof.

So yeah… I’m sorry, really! But basically it would be very complicated to me right now, I don’t think I can handle another project, specially one involving another person, because that would be an even bigger responsibility to me and I wouldn’t wanna fail to deliver something I promised. Oh and… By the way, I’m pretty flattered that you asked my help with it, it means a lot to me as an artist! Thank you!

Anyway, congratulations again on all that, because it sounds really amazing! I hope you can find someone to work with you on that, and if you ever create some content with it, please do show me! ^^ Good luck! ♥

#collab #thanks #sorry #awesome #submission

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seddm · 5 years

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One week later

I think that this time, despite the magnitude of what happened in the show, managed to have a mostly non-kneejerk reaction to it, but a week (and a looot of thinking) later, I think I got a better understanding about how and why I feel about this episode, S4 so far, and the show’s future as a whole. Going to make this a bullet-point style list because making a single conversation about all of this would be either too long, or end up feeling disconnected at times anyway. Bad things first, then the good ones to close on a positive note, for a change.

THE BAD

- The thing I always loved the most about this show has been its ability to use individual events and interactions between the characters in almost any given segments, even ones more fillery in nature, as a way to slowly advance the growth of the characters from a pre-established Big Event™ to the next one. This always gave the show an aura of strong continuity despite its storyboard driven and episodic nature, and allowed me to claim that even events clearly facilitated by some sort of plot based compulsion (such as the Truth Cube in Sleepover, or the photo booth in Booth Buddies) were still largely natural, just more flashy ways to push the characters in directions they were already taking.

The first episodes of S4, up to Curse of the Blood Moon, didn’t really do this. They felt heavily more compartmentalized than the usual: S3 ended in an explosive way that seemingly set up all the characters for immediate changes or payoff, but then this current season kinda ignored that. Not completely, because both Moon Remembers and Ransomgram has Marco tell Star things like “rip the bandaid off” and “own up to your mistakes”, which could be clearly applied to the “Tell Tom about the kiss” situation (never mind that she didn’t do that, it was still relevant and her going the wrong way about it was part of the point), but between an increased focus on plot and plot exclusively, and a two parter season premiere that chose to focus exclusively on finding Moon (reasonable decision, really, but it ended up making 40 minutes of show feel a bit empty on the emotions side, in my very subjective opinion), Curse of the Blood Moon seemed to happen a bit out of the blue, especially considering that Star and Marco’s feelings were apparently so strong and so intrusive to justify even Tom being able to see them in the former case, and Eclipsa’s comfort and counseling having been needed multiple times offscreen in the latter. Things that we didn’t see at all in the first 7 episodes, with the exception of Star never reacting to Tom telling her that he knew the kiss with Marco didn’t really mean anything. It’s not a necessarily tragic scenario, especially if the show purposefully wanted to wait for Curse to kick start a new chapter in the shipping of the show, but this bridging between seasons taking one third of the last one felt a bit excessive and largely devoid of sufficient build up to me.

- Kelly / Kellco. Anyone who’s familiar with my blog should know that I always struggle to never insult ships, characters or elements from the show that other people might like. And even now I don’t want to cheapen the value of personal preferences at all, nor tell anyone “No, you can’t ship this!”. But at the same time I have to say that, in the context of the show, these new Kellco developments look (ready to eat back my words in the future, as usual) extremely pointless, and handled badly. Kelly feelings something for Marco, kinda unilaterally liking him, that’s something the fandom has been speculating ever since Lava Lake Beach. They shared an emotional moment over heart break, and then clearly developed a friendship from there, and hanged out more. Kelly’s lines in The Ponyhead Show then confirmed without doubt that she felt something from Marco, but that he seemed to be largely unaware and oblivious about it. Just like you’d expect Marco to be, especially a Marco who spent the previous season focusing on how strong and intrusive his feelings for Star were.

At this point essentially everyone, me included, expected for Kelly’s World to be used as a way to bring up Marco’s unrequited (as far as he knew) feelings once again, to introduce Curse of the Blood Moon. I expected Marco to either go something like “Sorry Kelly but I’m not ready to give up on my feelings for Star” or, at worst, a frustrated Marco who’d have thought and reflected about Kelly’s feelings for him. Instead, out of the extreme blue, we got a Marco who was uncharacteristically all too aware of the situation, going “I don't want these feelings for Star they're getting in the way of other feelings" while being all blushy and then being more than receptive to Kelly’s emotionally confused flirting. Now, if this was reality, there would be absolutely nothing weird in a kid like Marco being dual in his feelings, really liking Star while also being tired about all the pain those feelings have been bringing him for the better part of a year and being receptive to another girl being ready to jump his bones. But this is not reality, and these events absolutely lacked any form of proper build up, they were (wow, I can finally use the word Starco haters have been throwing around for years!) forced. Not entirely, but for a great deal. Jarco had Sleepover and Naysaya providing a strong buildup to the ship revolving around Marco overcoming some personal hurdles; even Tomstar didn’t immediately go for the ship after the well-timed dance in Club Snubbed, but first had Demoncism, giving some sort of basis to the exes getting back together, and Tom and Star had a pre-established relationship and we both knew that Tom still wanted Star, and that Star still had hung up feelings for Tom, if just physical attractions ones (from her behavior in Blood Moon Ball and Mr. Candle Cares, very spread out over the show, I admit). Meanwhile Kellco went from “ok they shared an important moment one season ago and Janna teased Kelly in a holiday special episode but after that their interactions have been nothing but background ones” to “Marco and Kelly lose track of time reading about fighting on a bench, then as the warm hues of the sunset wash over them they fight hand in hand, as one body and one spirit, and the fireworks and music happen and there’s more blushing in a single scene that there has been in the whole show and in all the kisses in it so far”. That’s... very, very, very heavy handed. Very “manipulative”. Especially since Kelly and Marco aren’t even properly together yet I guess, since Marco might have gotten over his feelings for Star (hahaha yeah as if), but as far as we know Kelly still isn’t completely over Tad. So where is this relationship going to go from now? Why does it exist? In what ways it doesn’t shit on what Jarco already taught Marco? How is it going to “end” once Marco inevitably realizes he still feels thing for Star without making Kelly look like a throwaway rag? Obviously I don’t have the arrogance to assume I know how things are going to play out from here on, so who knows, maybe Kellco is going to be part of an important arc, but from where I’m standing, from what I know now, it’s hard not to see it as a hamfisted attempt at going “Haaaa these confused teens, it’s only fair that they get their share of experiences!”. Which is ok, sure, fine, but FICTION ≠ REALITY and things need some kind of build up and reason to happen. If it’s just supposed to be padding to keep the situation in a status quo for a while, “Marco is with Kelly and Tom is with Star and everything is right in the world and they don’t have to think about their feelings anymore” then... bleah.

- This is tangentially connected to both the previous points, and it’s not really THAT bad, just me being a bit nitpicky about a still legitimate direction the show decided to take: by having this constant comparison between THE OTHER SHIPS and STARCO, now stronger than ever after Curse, the former being very casual but also ultimately unrewarding, “we hold hands we blush a little and we are ready to kiss and be a couple”, while the latter being “dozens of life changing events are needed to progress the ship even by little; NOTHING BUT PAIN can ever come out of Starco for the people involved until it’s officially recognized as being completely and utterly full, pure, complete, mature and life lasting love”, can kinda give a wrong message about relationships and teen love, or an annoying one at least. “Hey kids, don't try to actually have fun or be happy with romance, because that's not how True Love™ works. If you actually find it kind of easy to be happy with your significant other, that isn't love!" [quote by @ngame989]. Obviously I’m using a hyperbole for the sake of clarity, and it’s clear that Star and Marco’s relationship is based on finding it easy to have fun together, always. But if we talk strictly about romance and the way the show approaches to it, it’s kinda undeniable that Starco has been nothing but a source of sadness so far, and the only genuine moment of happiness, this one, lasted about three seconds and overlapped with a realization of True Love.

By now I have fully accepted that the show is not going for an early Starco relationship to then show it growing and changing as the two make the first steps together, but that they’re waiting for a “ok we’re both completely sure this is what we want”, and it’s a completely fair direction for the show to take, but it also contributes to this “fetishization” of true love. Still, execution matters way more than the larger brush strokes in this case, so we’ll see.

- The timing. I’m going to talk about why this incoming arc can actually be a very good thing in a moment, but at the same time introducing the idea that the Blood Moon might have forced feelings now, 30% through the last season, when absolutely nothing before that ever referenced of foreshadowed it, and with essentially no references to the Ball throughout the show (last direct one was in Naysaya and it was Tom throwing shade at Marco...), feels kinda jarring to me.

- This is a bit more of a personal note, but not entirely: Star and Marco enter a dance in their memories with the specific goal of “destroying their feelings”. One minute into spending time together having fun without any kind of distraction for the first time in forever, they literally fall in love. Not crush, love. The whole setup of the Severing Stone’s function literally confirms that. What kind of tension can Kellco and Tomstar deliver now that we know that Star and Marco can and will fall in love with each other if given a moment to truly think about nothing but each other and themselves? The endgame was kinda clear before as well, but now it has officially ruined any chance at making other ships feel worthwhile - beyond their value for the growth of the characters involved, obviously. I mean their intrinsic value as a ship / source of romantic drama.

THE GOOD

- Even if I’m not a fan of the timing, I can see a lot of potential in an arc revolving around the question “Are these feelings genuine? Is Marco/Star the person I truly love and want to be with?”. Now, obviously we know that the feeling were genuine and that the Curse didn’t force anything, so it’s not really the answer to the question that matters. What’s important is how they’re going to get to that: by having Star and Marco more or less directly tackle this question in a context where there is apparently no sadness and pain brought from unwanted feelings, some positivity can FINALLY be associated with Starco as a romantic relationship. Obviously we don’t know how things are going to play out now, but if both dorks are now convinced that they are only friends (something that didn’t happen at the same time since early S2) they can enjoy their relationship to its absolute fullest, and see along the way, together this time, that they both want more. I don’t know if one or both of them lied about not having feelings anymore, or if it’s placebo effect, or if the Severing Stone has some lingering after effects. What I know is that these two now feel like they can be completely comfortable around each other once again, while still having all the feelings of friendship that were the base for the romance once already,

and that the last time they had a moment to truly be together with each other and enjoy their feelings to their fullest, they fell in love, like love for real, certified by the Severing Stone taking that moment away as a price.

So yes, we all know the answer to this question already (articulated a bit better by the show’s composer in this post),

- Curse of the Blood Moon as an episode itself is far from being without merits: it opens with a wonderful display of one of the many sides that make Star and Marco’s relationship so adorable, with the duo having a secret cereal date at night without waking up Meteora; shows how in sync and how well they understand each other (yes, this was a set up for the scene but you can’t tell me it’s the curse’s fault, that’s bullshit); it literally had Marco tell us that he likes every single thing about Star and her personality (again, not the curse’s fault. That’s bullshit.), and the dance itself was utterly perfect and pristine and had Starco fun, Starco flirting, and Starco love all happening the moment they could focus on each other and forget about the rest. Also, while I’m not necessarily the biggest fan of Tom having achieved “good boy status” simply by getting slightly better with each episode instead of taking some affirmative action on the nature of his relationship with Star, I don’t mind seeing him helping his friends, at all. Sure, this can contributed to making him feel more “pathetic”, with scenes like the spat on the elevator apparently underlying a lack of compatibility between him and Star compared to her and Marco, as many other scenes before, and that’s the part I don’t particularly enjoy, but the overall journey he went through, that’s good. It should have featured more defining moments of change in my opinion, rather than a simple “little by little always better and gets points for trying”, but it’s still vastly preferable to a world where we can’t get some Tomco bromance moments, and this kind of relaxed situation, as infuriating as it can be at times, could potentially contribute to what I said in the first point, give Star and Marco the chance to understand what they feel for the other in a completely or almost completely positive way.

- This is connected to the first point and not necessarily an objectively good one on its own, more like something that further contributes to feeling like there’s potential for things to develop nicely from her on: the brunt of the romance in Starco fell on Marco for most of S3, at this point Star was less of an active player than him when it came to liking each other. But Star is the Main Main Character, we can’t have that happen. With this new turn of events, with things being “reset” into New Game +, the spotlight moves once again on Star and this time we can finally have the Main Main Character answer the question “do we love each other?”. Obviously Marco is surely going to have a role as well, he’s still a protagonist, but it’s Star’s story before anything else, and this “Free Will and Choices” arc can easily tie Eclipsa / ruling Mewni to Love, and strongly relate to the blonde (ex) princess.

- On the same note of “elements that makes one hopeful about the show’s potential but still don’t really confirm anything about what’s going to happen”, we have this quote from one of Adam’s interviews:

Adam describes Star as someone who is “all over the place” in terms of life as compared to Marco who unlike Star has yet to outwardly reveal his feelings. “But, she’s one of those people who so much stuff is going on for that she doesn’t necessarily, in my opinion, she doesn’t really have time for a romantic relationship. She’s too busy. She’s got a lot of things going on her plate,” he explains. “But, she’s one of those people who, in my opinion–I’m not saying this happens, I’m just saying this is why I like them–I feel like she’s going to be one of those people who is gonna stop one day and have a second to breathe and then dust is gonna settle and she’s gonna look and see through all the settling dust and fog that someone has been there with her the entire time and she’s gonna see Marco,”

and while there’s absolutely no way to confirm this, especially since everything Adam says is always nebulous PR talk that has to be taken with eighty grains of salt, looking at list of episode post-mid season finale suggests that this “dust settling down” might happen sooner than later, the second half(ish) of the season having way more episodes with titles suggesting either Earth things, or a generic downtime for the teens to focus a bit more on their own lives, and a little less of Eclipsa. Obviously there’s still necessarily going to be plot happening, but I can also see how they could be going (strong emphasis on the could) for a journey that allows Starco to finally happen in the series finale in an explosive way, with both Star and Marco being utterly sure that this is what they truly want, and that they love each other, not just like or crush.

Cornonation Doop-Doop / Britta’s Tacos Beach Day / Gone Baby Gone Sad Teen Hotline / Jannanigans Mama Star / Ready, Aim, Fire The Right Way / Here to Help Pizza Party / The Tavern at the End of the Multiverse Cleaved

To conclude and sum up, my greatest issues so far are with the way S4 handled romance and relationships in its first 7 episodes, rather than with the new arc Curse of the Blood Moon apparently set out, or with the idea that the show is almost certainly going for series finale Starco (still kinda hoping for just a little something before that though, with the finale being the true celebration of what they have). It’s not the show I’d have liked the most, but it’s still one that has all the potential, so far, to honor the kind of build up Starco had, and the amazing characters Star and Marco are. But this first third personally disappointed me in a number of ways, and it kinda hinders my ability to fully trust this potential to actually become the reality of a good execution. But “hinders” doesn’t mean I completely lost any hope, and there are certainly dozens of ways to properly pull this off. We’ll see.

#star vs the forces of evil #svtfoe #starco #seddm ramblings #svtfoe spoilers

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