#again I’m so sorry about this | Explore Tumblr Posts and Blogs

a-substantial-trash-pile · 5 months

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referencing the last reblog so i don’t end up writing a mcfreakin novel in the poor person’s notes:

because god it really sucks holding it all in. my therapist is cool but it’s hard to explain some of these things that bother me to someone who isn’t as “online.” so i resort to posting about the things on my tumblr because it’s the closest i can get to talking about things to someone else without feeling as much of the guilt. idk my mind is an anomaly. speaking of guilt im putting a “read more” here now because this dumb thing’s getting long and now im thinking about the things that have bothered me that idk if i handled right and i don’t want to subject others to seeing it if they don’t want to.

ALSO i think im going to tag my random posts that i make when im having sad bad brain times with “trash rants” so please feel free to block that tag as needed!

the following is essentially about being in a discord server that had both minors (15+) and adults in it and the complications i had in that environment.

one thing that happened a while ago involved a situation within a fandom discord server that idk how tf to even explain the situation to a professional without feeling like an idiot. an adult artist had a character that other people in the server liked. one time that person posted something they drew of that character topless with a message about how boobs shouldn’t be sexual which is absolutely right. but then the others + the artist started making comments about the character’s boobs that i became very confused with how to interpret. my brain was like “are the intent of these comments to be suggestive/sexual in nature or am i being an ignorant asshole for interpreting them as such and it’s because i’m being the problem and seeing boobs themselves as a sexual?” it was even more complicated because the people involved in making these comments were underage. it got even even more complicated because then some of these underage people started drawing the character topless with more comments that i didn’t know how to interpret. one of these people at some point told the original artist that they would privately dm them the more nsfw drawings they were doing. and everyone seemed to be having a good time going “BOOBS 👀👀” and all that and the channel was going crazy. but i was getting so uncomfortable and confused. and i felt like such an asshole. because i like boobs too and society shouldn’t see them as something inherently sexual. but the underage folk being involved made it so complicated for my brain. because if some random person not involved with the server looked in on what was happening, couldn’t it be seen as minors making and sending an adult nsfw art? even though it was very likely NOT the intention of the original artist.

what i ended up doing was bringing my concerns to the server owner, which was responded well to. a rule was put in place about sharing nsfw stuff. but i felt so guilty about it. i felt like i was being a party pooper and ruining people’s fun. i still wasn’t sure if i was even doing the right thing and if it was a problem within me and not with what happened. i was born into a conservative religious background so it was only when i became more independent and was allowed access to the internet that i got to start to unlearn the bad things that were taught to me. that background is something i’m trying so hard to separate myself from, but it’s something that i’m afraid will haunt me. was what happened in the server not actually a problem, and it was because my brain wants to do the bad society thing and interpret boobs as sexual? did i ruin everyone’s fun because i’m just an ignorant asshole who got uncomfy at something i shouldn’t be getting uncomfy about? i still don’t know. anyway, i ended up leaving the server because i just couldn’t enjoy it anymore. once in a while that original artist’s stuff pops up naturally in my feed because we’re still in the same fandom, but i can’t even look at their art or even their name without feeling all the confusion and guilt again. which i feel terrible about because they seemed like a really nice person and they’re a great artist! and i really don’t think they had any bad intentions at all when that situation in the server happened. but i just can’t do it.

that situation was the first moment i truly realized just how scary it is and careful you have to be when you’re in an online environment where adults and minors can freely interact. it’s easy to forget ages when you’re just a profile picture, and how easy it can be to influence someone young, and how dangerous that is, whether your intentions are good or not. it made me realize that i don’t want to be in that type of server where you’re directly interacting with underage people. because i’m a fucking mess and i don’t know what the hell i’m doing 90% of the time. i don’t want to somehow mess up a kid! even if it’s an accident i didn’t want to risk having that accident happen in the first place. it’s one of the reasons why i can’t bring myself to ever draw and post nsfw art anywhere either. i just feel so uncomfortable about it. to me it’s fine if others do it if they’re doing it in a safe way with the necessary precautions, and they shouldn’t feel shame in it! it’s just not something i feel comfortable doing myself.

jfc im so sorry if anyone actually read this far. this whole thing is so stupid. i wish i didnt let it bother me for so long. there are a lot of stupid things that my brain wastes time worrying about. maybe writing all this down will help me explain it to someone on the “outside” who can tell me how to stop it. i don’t know.

#again I’m so sorry about this #trash rants #long post #I think a lot of things all the time and am bad at shortening the words I use to describe the thoughts

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chloesimaginationthings · 2 months

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William Afton into the FNAF-verse

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green-lights-33 · 4 months

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#hi i’m back #(again)#i had the most terrible crippling art block and everything i touched looked like garbage #so sorry about that #think i’m getting over it now tho lmao #anyways #regulus black #:)#my art

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mushramoo · 11 months

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I been talking to a lot of ppl w cats lately (I volunteer at an animal shelter) and I didn’t know this needed to be said but

PLEASE FOR THE LOVE OF GOD DO NOT DECLAW YOUR CAT.

Declawing sounds very normal to people who aren’t educated on it so let me show you what it actually is.

As you might notice from the diagram, the claw is attached to a small bone at the very end of a cat’s paw. They are fused to this bone, which on a human hand would be where your last knuckle is (the one right before your nail). When someone gets a cat declawed, they aren’t just removing the claw.

The entire last digit of the cat’s paw is removed. (See below)

This severely impedes the cat’s ability to balance itself, is extremely painful for them, and can make the cat extremely aggressive because it no longer has one of its main defense mechanisms! It can also cause many other medical issues down the line including infection, necrosis, and some cats are never able to walk correctly again. Most cats that have this done never fully recover from the procedure and are in constant chronic pain.

It is extremely inhumane and is illegal in only two states at the time I’m writing this!!!! (Maryland and New York) Cats should only have this procedure if it is a life or death situation, never just because someone finds a cat being a cat inconvenient for them. Don’t get a cat if you don’t want to be scratched or have some ruined furniture. If you want more information on this topic, I’d recommend Jackson Galaxy’s YouTube video on it, and to read up on some articles I will link in the comments.

I know I don’t usually post about these types of things, but it’s made me extremely angry to hear people mention getting their cats declawed so flippantly as if it doesn’t ruin the cat’s life, and always for an asinine reason like “they scratched my couch” or “they scratch my kids” THOSE ARE YOUR RESPONSIBILITIES AS A CAT OWNER. Treat your kids and peers to treat animals with respect, or don’t get a cat.

#so sorry followers I’m just so upset about it #I want to strangle every rich white woman that comes in and laughs about mutilating their cat’s paws #or bragging about how they couldn’t find any vet willing to do it #if you didn’t know #you didn’t know. but you know now so dont ever let it happen again #pets #cat #cat info #pet information #animals #important #very important #medical procedure

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hollytree33 · 4 months

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JUDGEMENT

Finally, her fourth and final card for Trespasser!!

1. The Hanged Man

2. The Chariot

3. The High Priestess

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yourlocalabomination · 2 months

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Tick Tock, Teddy-Bear.

#the bastards box wasn’t enough I had to trap this fucker in a hour glass #IM NEVER RENDERING GOLD AGAIN IN MY LIFE I DIDNT LEARN THE FIRST TIME-#anyway guess who’s not dead. sorry I disappeared for a hot sec as you might be able to deduce this one took a while #also life happened lol. I was doing this inbetween uni work a social life and being ill.#I’m not going to reveal how long this one took because I’m genuinly ashamed I put so much time into drawing Ted fucking Spankoffski #just know this might be the most amount of time and effort Iv ever put into a artwork in my entire life #I’m not too mad about it actually because I wanted to make one final big artwork before I turn 20 #ted spankoffski #theodore spankoffski #starkid #team starkid #starkid productions #starkid fanart #fanart starkid #time bastard #starkid time bastard #time bastard nightmare time #nightmare time #starkid nightmare time #hatchetfield nightmare time #nmt #hatchetfield #hatchetverse #hatchetfield universe #fanart #my art

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magnus-rhymes-with-swagness · 11 months

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running around in circles. nimona and ballister. do you get it. she wakes up from a nightmare and immediately calms down when he comforts her because she trusts him. he quite literally jumps off a balcony because he knows she’ll catch him. she tells him what shapeshifting feels like. lets him bandage her leg. he’s absolutely overjoyed when he sees her again at the end. he goes from rejecting her to accepting her to begging her to come back to rejoicing when she does. not only does she come back to life but she comes back to HIM. to her HOME. SHE FINDS HIM AGAIN IN ANOTHER LIFETIME. SHE GOES BACK TO HIM ON PURPOSE. DO YOU GET IT.

#nimona #ballister blackheart #ballister boldheart #nimona movie #nimona netflix #nimona 2023 #nd stevenson #my words #CHEWING ON PLYWOOD #sorry i’m incapable of talking about nimona in my inside voice it will happen again #all she ever wanted was a home and a friend and he was just that 😭😭😭#they trust each other so much……#i like the book ending too but the movie ending is just so much more soft and forgiving #how could anyone say it was anti-climactic there was literally adrenaline pumping through my body #heart pounding edge of my seat every nerve set ablaze barely keeping it together #anyway nimona clearly Did Something to my brain lmao #go read it and then watch it you won’t regret it!!!!!!!!!!#this is scheduled btw (i Think i have the best posting times for this fandom figured out)#nimona spoilers

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crybaby-bkg · 6 months

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Bakugou asks you to join him during one of his photoshoots for a pro hero campaign. he doesn’t understand the point of it, nor why he has to only be in his underwear, but he doesn’t mind it much when he gets to look over to your shy little face.

you’re propped up in a corner on an old couch, laptop perched in your lap, its glare bright despite the way you never really look at it. you’re supposed to be catching up on some work, but you’ve been distracted by the glorious sight that is the love of your life.

when he looks at you, do you duck down, eyes suddenly focused on your screen again. it only makes him smile a little, step away from the assistant of the photographer who comes up to him, calls out your name.

“Huh?” your head whips up with a quickness neither of you expect, goes to show just how invested you really were with your work. but Bakugou only grins at you now, jerking his chin over to you as he grabs the bottle of oil the assistant was trying to pour over him.

“C’mere and gimme a hand, won’t ya?” he asks you, boyish smile gracing his face as he tilts his head at you. immediately, your face warms as you put together the request that’s suddenly dropped in your lap. everyone in the studio looks at you, with both envious and excited gazes, and it only makes you shrink in on yourself.

“I hate you.” you mutter under your breath when you finally rise up from your place on the couch, which he somehow hears. but Bakugou only laughs at you, grabs you by the waist when you’re close enough to kiss you breathless in front of everybody, before he’s handing off the oil to you.

“Such an attention whore,” you whisper when you’re close, the air between the two of you thick. everyone tries to look away, give you guys a bit of privacy, but it’s hard when such a soft and amused look passes over the usually rough and hardened hero’s face.

“Only for your attention.” he grunts back to you, holding his arms out for you to start dripping the oil down his skin. it’s a sensual gesture, the softness between you two sliding into something more, something that you only ever reserve for the bedroom.

you tip the bottle over his shoulders until it drips down his chest, massaging it all in with your hands in crude, circular motions. you can see the way he bites his lip, ignore the way he looks at you down the bridge of his nose lest you two create a scene not meant for the public eye. you gather more oil, warm it between your palms, kneeling in front of him to help massage it into the defined muscles of his stomach.

you ignore the twitch in front of you, swallowing thickly, glancing up to Bakugou who hasn’t taken his eyes off of you yet. you mouth at him to behave, but he only grins, something feral.

“We only need it above the waistband.” the photographer suddenly calls out, snapping you back to attention. you stand on shaky knees, nodding with your eyes casted low, ashamed, that your freak of a man had you doing something so…so—

“Go wait in my dressing room, yeah?” Bakugou asks you, pulling you in close to peck at the corner of your mouth. “Gonna wrap this shit up.” he promises you, and you can only nod silently, mind going a mile a minute. but before you go, you remember to grab the oil. just in case.

#I hope this makes sense and sorry that it’s This.#I’m sleepy and having an allergic reaction and it’s HELL!!!!!!!#and I’m also coming on my cycle life just won’t stop beating my ass #on the other hand I really enjoyed my schoolwork this week which was a nice relief #I have a week left and I’m so happy bc I’ll finally have more time to write what I want again!!!#bakugou treats! 🍬#—new treat in the streets! 🍫#also I’ve talked about model bkg before but I can never get enough of him I fear #him as a model or even just modeling in general does something to me #mr pretty face with such a terrible attitude and such a brat bc he wants only you for everything #I need him terribly so

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mrfroag · 8 months

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*snapcube eggman voice* I miss my guys tails

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turtleblogatlast · 1 month

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[ cw: dismemberment / ]

I think a lot about how Leo’s rescue could have easily ended in him losing a leg as the portal snaps shut on the Krang still clutching the limb, or, alternatively, only having Leo’s right arm make it out, still held dearly in his brother’s hand as the rest of Leo is left behind. (The latter hits even harder, as it directly parallels his future self in the worst of ways.)

I think a lot about how so many things could have gone wrong during the course of the movie with even a little bit of a change, but it really is harrowing how much of a coin-flip the entirety of the Prison Dimension rescue was.

#rottmnt #rise of the teenage mutant ninja turtles #rottmnt leo #rottmnt headcanons #rise leo #dismemberment /#if literally any part of the prison dimension rescue was different it would have ended Very Badly #mikey came in clutch for doing the impossible in the first place #raph grabbing leo and not once letting go was vital #and donnie directly hitting the krang was essential #hell leo having the ability to reach out at all in the state he was in was a miracle #listen I think about the prison dimension a lot if you couldn’t tell #for the next tags:#strangulation mention /#physical trauma induced mutism /#potential death mention /#potential sibling death mention /#barely it mainly focuses on if he lives but /#I also think about how Leo’s trachea could have easilyyy given out as Raph (krangified) was choking him #can you imagine the last words raph hearing from his little brother being I’m sorry?#he’d likely live as the hamato bros are built different but imagine if he straight up can’t talk again after #the bros having no idea what Leo’s plan is but they suddenly feel him disappear with the portal #or also #imagine all he gets out in his hoarse voice is to beg Casey to close the portal before his family HEARS the sudden silence like a knife #even if he gets saved his voice may be wrecked or even gone for good #what am I writing wait-#also for my point on leo losing his arm paralleling his future self #imagine fate being a thing in this world but a VERY situational thing #imagine it makes it so that leo has to lose a limb #but not just that - it also ties his presence directly with the Krang’s - so if the Krang’s somewhere else…so is he

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spottedgardeneelstan · 10 months

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normal jiang brother activities <3

#mdzs #jiang cheng #wei wuxian #the untamed #jiang siblings #minus yanli #sorry yanli #please note that wwx’s face is not shown in its entirety after the first panel!#that is because i think that their time in gusu lan was one of the last times in the novel that jc knows how to feel about wwx!#my opinion of course #also the ‘i can’t go with you’??????? i’m going to collapse #so symbolic of their estrangement #and wwx’s departure from the cultivation world #anyway i had a lot a wwx feels while drawing this #also i never want to look at it again ever #mdzs spoilers

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swedenis-h · 5 months

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Phoenix Tatooine day trip Goes Wrong™️ (X)

This is a little idea where Luke needs something (don’t ask me what) that he can only get on tatooine, so dinluke adventure ensues. The plan is to get there and leave ASAP, but then nostalgia hits and he needs to hit every shop and place he used to as a kid. But you know, “college kids comes back to hometown” syndrome hits and he realizes he’s changed too much. Think of how the holiday season doesn’t feel the same anymore now that you’re an adult, same feeling. AND YES ITS ALSO DUNLUKE BECAUSE I WANT THEM TO KISS AND TALK ABOUT THEIR FEELINGS AND ALSO KISS.

Heres some extras 🫡

#and also don’t ask me how I feel being back home for winter break!!#it’s irrelevant!#also tangent about Luke’s outfit:#I wanted it to look a little Jedi but also fit into Tatooine #in the fic in my mind he ditches the cape over time the more he embraces Tatooine again but you know #he’s been Changed By The Journey so he still looks like a Jedi #ANOTHER tangent: his HAIR #I have my usual color for his hair and I change it based on where in the timeline I’m drawing him #more blond around ANH more brown around and past RotJ #drawing him with ANH color pallet and his hair doesn’t match it as nicely… pain suffering I hate him why does he hurt me so bad #HE DOESNT FIT TATOOINE ANYMORE DO YOU UNDERSTAND #okay sorry bye #certified yapper over here YEESH‼️#art #fanart #digital art #fan art #my art #star wars #star wars fanart #dinluke #sw #sw au #star wars au #luke sykwalker #din djarin

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sunglassesmish · 1 year

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i’m losing my entire fucking mind holy FUCK

#the chest hair the chest hair the chest hair the chest hair the chest hair the chest hair THE CHEST HAIRRRRRRRRRRRR #sorry i'm not okay #photoshop stopped working again so i can’t make more yet #i’m actually kinda worried about that but i’ll focus on that after i eat something #my eye is turning red like it usually does from a lack of sleep 😬#gk spoilers #gotham knights spoilers #gotham knights #my gifs

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fumifooms · 16 days

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Dad always said I was like him

Meijack and Chilchuck Tims Dungeon Meshi, Ryoko Kui

^ 1: Moony moonless sky, Fatima Aamer Bilal / 2: Bug like an angel, Mitski / 3: Woodtangle, Mary Ruefle / 4: The Third Hour of the Night, Frank Bidart / 5 & 6: FROM THE MAKERS OF "TWO-MOM ENERGY DRINK," IT'S "LET YOUR FATHER DIE ENERGY DRINK,", Daniel Lavery & Cecilia Corrigan / 7: Batman: Year Three (1989) / 8 & 9 : FROM THE MAKERS OF […], Daniel Lavery & Cecilia Corrigan / 10: Wilt, CJ the X / 11: How Do We Forgive Our Fathers, Dick Lourie / 12: Milk and honey, Rupi Kaur / 13: / 14: Moony moonless sky, Fatima Aamer Bilal / 15: Someday I’ll Love Ocean Vuong, Ocean Vuong / 16: untitled, joan tierney v 17: Drunk, The Living Tombstone / 18: unknown

When your father tried his best to provide for you but he worked all the time and even when he was home he was either tired or stressed and he’s always liked to get drunk to relax and cheer up. When you know he values work ethics and respectability so you grew up to be capable and quiet. And when he says you’re like him you’re sort of puzzled, does he really know you so little, or does he know himself so little? But you like the feeling of your father ruffling your hair so you accept it, and still you stand next to your mother just as silent and just as stoic as her during family gatherings. He leaves again and again and when your mother leaves him nothing changes, really. You wonder if it’s more telling that you know him better than he seems to himself or that you don’t know him as much as you wish you did, or that you don’t think about him all that much these days. Out of sight, out of mind. And he’s never really been there, even when he was there, after all.

#It’s ok they do get in touch again and he prob at least lives to 40 #Alright I’m ready to be normal about chilchuck again #Spoilers #I guess?#dungeon meshi #chilchuck tims #meijack #chilchuck’s family #meijack chils #Web weaving #alcoholism #cw alcohol #webweave #A couple more i liked are a rearview mirror we’re not as close as we appear line and this french one from #Kristina Gauthier-Landry that goes like hands full of trout running up to you / look what i caught look / how much you love me #And this other one about chocolate coins that a dad arriving from work in middle of the night gives the happy little daughter running up #And it’s so anticlimatic and about transactional relationships and oughh ough it’s a good book #I am Chil is a complex absentee father truther sorry. Idc go see my analyses if you want don’t argue w me here #posts for which i am the target audience #Oh oh another one : So were we close? Or was it just the big things that held us together and the small things that let us fall apart?#The word father rotted in my mouth #Bc it’s left there to rot get it get it………..#Sigh. Like father alike daughter #I’m a truther that she’s more like her mom demeanor wise

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starstruckodysseys · 8 months

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junior year trailer jumpscare mood

#yes i’ve posted both of these before yes i’m posting them again #i’m sorry i’m going to be so insufferable about this #dimension 20 #d20 #fantasy high #fantasy high junior year #fhjy

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samglyph · 3 months

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I truly believe Will Wood is an incredible musician and songwriter and is one of the top lyricists in the last decade both in and outside of the genres that he chooses to play in with absolutely zero irony. I also believe that you can only fully understand that if you’ve either had a pet die before listening to his music or you have a history of drug abuse and mental health crises. Or you’re trans.

#this may sound like a snooty post where I’m just upholding my own favorite music as the best #but honestly it’s in response to a lot of fans I’ve seen be really self critical?#like yeah haha I listen to bad music #and I also have been known to joke about my own weird taste #but here’s the thing! from a technical level! his music! goes hard! it is experimental and that is GOOD #and lyrically listen I listen to a lot of music #I’m even familiar with top forty stuff and while yes the content of his songs is very niche #the lyricism is so genuinely clever and playful and ugh god #ok anyway. sorry #listened to Will wood again #and also this post is about the fact that I first I didn’t get it.#and then I went to a really low point. and suddenly I got it #ok it cracked me open like a fucking egg #music #text #personal #kinda

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