#all for the muscle pig ~ hehe

[ja3hwa]

♡ 𝐒𝐡𝐮𝐭 𝐔𝐩 𝐀𝐧𝐝 𝐃𝐫𝐢𝐯𝐞 | 𝐂.𝐒 ♡

【Synopsis】 : You had one job and three rules. And you broke every single one.

『Word count』 : 2.18k

-> Genre: Smut. Mafia Au.

Pairing: MobBoss!San x PrivateDriver!Reader 

[Warnings] : Swearing. Gun violence. Some angst. Mention of death. San's a bit bloody. Blood (obviously). Unprotected sex. Car sex. Squirting. Light-hearted banter. Hinting of sex work and abuse (doesn't go into detail). Speeding. Car chase. Fingering. Fucking while driving (don't do this). Pet names

Note: This is based on this drabble. Everyone liked it so much that i just had to make a full fic, hehe.

Networks : @newworldnet ♡

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“Oh no, I want to hear it, darling. What else would you find enjoyable to ride?” He shot the last of his drink, his hand evidently palming his clothed hard-on.

“I think you already know the answer, sir.”

“Hmm.” was all he responded with.

-

That night you’d fuck yourself on your dildo with the idea of San palming himself while you drove. The way his pants were stuck in your brain, playing on repeat as he continued to pleasure himself while you drove him home. You couldn’t have dropped him off sooner, cause you swore he was going to cum in his pants if he kept going.

‘Until next time, bunny.’

His voice was so smooth. Deep. You know you were playing a dangerous game by becoming involved with a client much less a feared mob boss that would kill someone that looked at him the wrong way. But the way he looked at you through the mirror every time you drove him. He was always so happy to see you, chatting about anything to keep his mind off his work. You were an escape for him. Something that was a reminder he was supposed to be this angry man twenty-four-seven. No, he could, laugh, tease, flirt, with you and you’d either shut him down or egg him on. Both of which rial him up even more.

The idea of touching you, having you. Even if it was for one night, it was becoming increasingly more tempting. But alas, he knew you. You are professional, and you wouldn’t disobey your company’s rules.

Do not sleep with the clients.

But something deep in your soul was screaming at you that all of your morality was about to go out the window. You were sent to pick up a client on a south port right after they had finished some trade. Well, that was the plan, at least, but here you were sitting an hour later after the supposed pick-up. This is getting ridiculous. You thought, shifting in your seat, trying to keep your muscles awake. What is taking him so long?

You knew of the client. Some lowlife trying to make it big in the mafia world. How he managed to hire you was a mystery. Maybe a debt is being paid? Or some sweet talking. But then again, from what you heard, he had neither up his sleeve. You closed your eyes for a moment, just a moment, trying to rest the tired feeling you were experiencing behind your temple. Everything was quiet, peaceful almost… Well, that was until you heard a gunshot, then two more following it.

You sat up and looked around frantically, spotting a few men rushing out of the large barn that sat by the waterfront. They were chasing a man, a young feline looking—it’s San.

The side door opened to a bloody-looking man with a feverious smile. His adrenaline was pumping to the point that you could see the veins in his neck bulging. His gun was still tight in his grip, wiping his brow with the back of the same hand. “I need you to get us out of here, princess.”

“I..B-but. Wait. My client…” You were so confused, not even registering you started the car. The men that had been chasing San were hot on your tail, so you began to floor it through the back roads of the port.

“Uh, yeah, well. He’s dead. He didn’t like the deal I offered and the bitch thought he could beat it out of me. ME! The king of fucking Seoul. Fucking arrogant pig.” San rambled but you barely heard what he had to say about the client. No, all you could think about was getting the fuck out of dogged and away from any of the crooks San managed to piss off. But then again pissing people off seemed like San's specialty.

“Where do I even go from here those bastards are probably tracking my fucking car.” You’ve never spoken so out of line before in front of a client but here you were. San just raked his fingers through his dirty hair, licking his busted lip.

“Why would they be tracking us.” San started searching through the glove departments for any signs of a tracker, but you just huffed, clutching the wheel tighter before almost screaming at him.

“They would be tracking us ‘cause they are the ones that own this fucking car and I was supposed to drive their fucking boss to a fucking safe house you idiot.” You didn’t mean to blow up but the tension became so thick in the vehicle you felt like you had no choice. San sat still for a moment, never hearing someone call him out of his stupidity before other than his right hand, Wooyoung. The silence was making your skin crawl, making you suddenly aware you just yelled at a mob boss. A mob boss that was definitely packing some kind of weapon…The fucking king of Seoul as he put it. You suddenly felt a hand touch your thigh making your whole body jump and the car almost swerved off the road.

“Well go on. Get us out of here, darling.” His voice was smooth and collected. It made your head spin. “B-but the track—If we get far enough, the tracker won’t reach, and then we can dump the car and run." San chuckled, turning back to stare at the road. You, on the other hand, were struggling to keep focus on the tar in front of you. He hasn't moved his fucking hand…

You started to speed up, swerving through the small amounts of traffic. You kept eyeing the rear-view mirror checking your back, and you noticed several cars tailing you.

Bastards.

You took a sharp left, causing San to shift in his seat and his hand that was perched on your thigh to slide up higher. You visibly shivered, making San aware of where his hand went. He just smirked, "Such a good girl. Getting me out of here. Remind me, why you don't drive for me permanently again?"

"Cause you flirt too much and I'm…" you felt his finger brush against your inner thigh… "I-I'm in a contract with the company I work for."

"Hmmm, well, you know I'm pretty good at making contracts disappear." He dared to reach further, and you were delusional enough to open your legs a little for him.

"H-he'd kill me. I can't leave." There was so much more in your contract that San didn't know of, but he could think of a few things the scum bag made you do. You have a passion for driving and driving fast. And he used that to get you to do other shit for him. Bastard.

"You won't have to ever do anything for him ever again. Come home with me. I'll look after you. Let you ride any of my cars… and anything else you might want…" he leaned towards your tense frame, seeing your knuckles turn white from how hard you held the wheel. "I'd give you the moon if you asked, darling. Anyone for my best girl."

My best girl…. oh, now your head is definitely spinning. Your foot hit the gas harder, reaching a long stretch of dirt road. Sitting at 90, you jumped to 120. "S-san…"

He popped the button of your dress pants, slipping his fingers delectably down until they grazed your bare core.

125km/h

"You like to be called my best girl, huh? Just need some praise, princess?" His breath tickled as he licked a strip along your neck up to your ear, biting your ear lob. All the while, his hand dipped further, running his long finger along your slit. "Fuck your soaked baby. Wet for me baby?" He chuckled, deeply.

You bit your lip, trying so hard not to close your eyes. "San p-please." You didn't know why you said that, but it was all you could think of. He pushed the pad of his finger against your clit, rubbing in slow little circles.

130km/h

"God you know how much I've thought about this pussy. How much I've dreamt about fucking her, tasting her. I bet you taste like fucking honey darling." His finger slid into your aching hole, making you gasp.

135km/p

Your watery eyes looked through the rear-view mirror, seeing no one behind you anymore, just a thick dust cloud created in your wake. You felt his finger slip in and out of you, making you open your legs wider for him. He chuckled, kissing your neck more until.

You slammed on the brakes, drifting the car through the dirt until it spun around and stopped in a sharp huff. Everything happened so quickly, but it was like you and San were in sync. Undoing your belts, he pulled his chair's brake, pulling the seat backwards so he had more leg room and was angled so you could climb on top of him.

Your lips captured his in a hot and messy kiss while his hand worked his belt and pants, slipping them down just enough so his naked ass could rest on the leather and his cock slapped against his clothed abdomen. You pulled your pants off while still in your seat. Ditching your slip-on sneakers before climbing onto his lap.

He gripped your blouse, ripping it off so the button flew everywhere. Neither of you cared though. Not as his lips latched on the top of your breasts, tugging your bra down so your tits could spill over the top. "Fuck,"

He groans as he catches a glimpse of your body. You are perfect, better than he imagined. "This was not how I wanted to ravish you."

"Yes, it was, don't fucking lie." You cut him off with another kiss. In truth, you were right. He had many dreams of fucking you senselessly in one or all of his vehicles. Maybe even on his bike, too.

"It's the thought that counts." He laughed against your lips.

"Shut up." You pulled your panties aside, sinking your fingers inside yourself. San watch in awe as you stretched yourself out on top of his twitching cock. And as if you could get more perfect, you moaned his name while doing it.

"Fuck your gorgeous." He slammed his head back against the chair and groaned as he bucked his hips up to try and get some kind of friction. But what he didn't expect was to feel your hand wrap tightly around his aching shaft. "Jesus fuck.."

It was your turn to giggle now, shifting your weight you lined your soaking entrance to his red angry cock tip, letting him breach your walls with a pop. You slowly sank down on his inch by inch. His hands flew for your hips, helping you bottom him out. "Saaniie y-you're huge. Fuck."

"Don't say shit like that. I-Fuck.. I won't last." His eyes hazily gazed to where you were connected feeling you pull up, then slam back down onto his cock. You circled your hips, drawing loud moans from both of you. Your hands fly to his shoulders, bringing his body closer to yours. Chest to chest. San nuzzled his face into your neck, taking a large inhale through his nose. He could smell your sweet perfume mixing with the lude scent of sex.

"So perfect." He mumbled, bracing his feet to the floor before jackhammering into your soaked cunt. Your screams were muffled against his neck as his pace became ruthless and harsh. Your hips moved out of sync with his thrusts, perfectly letting you grind your clit against his pelvis, sending electricity up your spine.

"S-sann, I'm gonna cum. Please let me cum." You whimpered, biting down on his shoulder fearing to draw blood.

"Yes, cum baby. I want to feel you cum around my cock. Be a good girl." He groaned, holding you tighter, feeling his own high creeping closer. Your tummy tugged tight and snapped. Your hips stilling, taking San's abusive thrusts as you squirted all over his lap.

"Fuck fuck fuck fuck." San slammed deep inside you, splurting his seed inside you, painting your walls with his cream. He kisses your shoulder, legs slightly shaking as he empties his load. You just laid there, taking every drop. Your pussy clenched around him, hissing at the sensitivity. Your fingers were laced in his hair, and his making shapes on your sweat-still clothed back.

"I broke the rules…" You whispered. San felt a little guilty that he made you break the rules of your company. He tainted you, and he was sorry for it. You'd never get another job as a driver if people found out you slept with a client. "You made me go over 140. You're lucky there weren't cops out here."

Oh, you were complaining about sleeping with him.

"That's what you're worried about." San had to laugh, hugging your figure tighter as he chuckled against your neck.

"Yes, I could have crashed and fucked the car."

"Yeah, instead, you just fucked me." You sat up and slapped his chest for that comment.

—

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[cutiedwaekki]

cookie case

Or were 3racha are the totally spies and investigates a mysterious company and their cookies.

I had hesitated between making the totally spies or the one on fairly oddparents but I immediately fell in love with that so I'll leave the other idea to whoever wants it hehe

I still got som idea for making a part 2 btw let me know if you want to 🤭

✩°｡⋆⸜ 🍪

It was beautiful day, the sun was shining, a sign of the arrival of good weather.

Jeongin , who was a student quite busy with his studies , spent the majority of his time at home, he didn't have many friends and even fewer who would come to his house so early in the morning

So curious, he went to open it anyway to find a young man about his age dressed in a horrible uniform. From his facial expression we could see that he wasn't comfortable with it, especially given his fake smile. He deserved at least that Jeongin to give him a little attention before closing the door.

-"to whom have I the honor ?" he asked

After clearing his throat the boy began "Hello I'm Kim Seungmin, I come as a representative of Lixie Factory to sell our boxes of cookies. We are making a special offer for our new members. One box purchased is equivalent to one box offered"

Jeongin hesitated, after all it's true that a little candy in this world doesn't hurt especially if he had two boxes for the price of one but something told him that I had something else hidden behind that

-"It'll be fine thank you... I'm.... I'm on a diet... yeah that's it" he claimed which didn't convince Seungmin who with a funny, almost frightening smile opened the door. 'one of the boxes and out comes a "taste at least one"

The student finally accepts and grabs the cookie to eat it shyly.

The aroma and flavors were increased tenfold, he doesn't know what was going on but all he could say was that at that moment he just wanted another cookie

His expressio. seemed to betray his thoughts because without saying anything Seungmin offered him another one.

.. then a third

But when he was about to ask for a fourth, he suddenly received a sheet resembling an order form.

-"You have to focus on something else" declared Seungmin

A frustrated Jeongin then took the paper and a pen that he kept in his pocket and write a few things before declaring. “I’ll take all your stock!”

Seungmin's mischievous smile widened as he grabbed the order and brought forward the cart he had with him.

-"excellent choice"

✩°｡⋆⸜ 🍪

-"Jisung wait for us ! Stop running around" Changbin shouted as the youngsters of the three seemed to be heading towards all the stores he saw

-"Seriously he surprises me day by day" commented Chan making his counterpart laugh

The three of them had been friends since high school and even though over the years they knew Jisung's love for fashion, it seemed that this love grew stronger with each passing day.

They didn't care, they were used to it, just like Jisung was used to his friends being gym rats!

In fact, all three had very different personalities which meant that, side by side, one could well ask how they could have become friends!

Jisung was a living cliché, blue hair, ear piercing, crop top revealing his bulging muscles accompanied by long pants that perfectly fit his slender legs.

Next to our Chan planes who were basically dressed in black and possibly a little black too (without forgetting black) wearing an oversized sweater and shorts

Finally Changbin was also dressed in black but his pink key ring with the image of a kind of rabbit-pig showed that this dark side that he gave off contrasted with his colorful personality.

In short, you know the 3racha! Or at least what they want to reveal...

-"Oh.My.God! It's the jeans on the cover of my favorite magazine!!" exclaimed Jisung who hurried into the store while his friends followed him exasperated.

Without hesitation he grabbed the exhibition model and came to try it on without even thinking about the size.

Jisung may have been very thin but these jeans didn't have the ideal measurement for him. At least at this size. He comes out of the cabin, walking like a duck to his friends to show them

-"It looks tight, don't you want to size up?" Changbin suggested.

But Jisung had a certain ego when it came to his figure, if he didn't buy the garment in the size of the model who wore it then he wouldn't take it

-"No way, I'll take it in that size." he exclaimed before entering the cabin again to change

He then went to ask to take these pants but the poor destitute saleswoman shyly confided "I'm sorry, the last one has just been bought by this young man"

And there... the horror in Jisung's eyes, in front of him was his rival, his greatest enemy, the one whose full name should not be pronounced at the risk of pissing off Jisung

I am of course talking about... Park Jisung

The two of them have hated it for years simply because they have the same first name and similar tastes in fashion. They could have become good friends but their strong character only created discord between them.

-"Oh you wanted it too? I didn't know they also made it for the whales too"

Even the saleswoman seemed confused but seeing that Jisung didn't want the pants even in his size decided to put them back while Chan thanked her by dragging the boy out of the store while he muttered about how much he hated Park Jisung

-"Don't think about him anymore Sungie" Chan began before being interupt by Changbin

-"Look , a photo booth !! It would be fun!"

Jisung seemed hyped by the idea although he allowed a bit of self-deprecation "Hopefully my big ass can fit through the cabin"

But he only earned a side eye from Chan.

Only after they paid for the photo, the dazzling flash sucking them in, it only meant one thing, 3RACHA had a mission to carry out!

3racha? Oh yes sorry, in fact apart from their hobbies they were also soies for the JYP, an international agency against the crime.

Immediately they all seemed much cooler

And wait, haven't you seen them in their latex costume, always well suited to their size while highlighting their musculature.

But enough talking, Park Jinyoung was there and waiting for them

-"You better refund me for the money I paid" Jisung declared in a familiar tone even though it was his employer

-"Hello boys, enough chatting, the problem is urgent."

On those, the screen behind him scrolled through photos and videos while Jinyoung explained the day's mission.

-"Thousands of people seem to have collectively become addicted to cookies provided by the company Lixie Factory. Your mission is to discover their intention and put an end to all these riots."

He moved forward bringing out some objects which in reality were mostly gadgets that could help them if necessary on their mission.

-"Today you will have at your disposal, the memory eraser pen,the GPS tracker lipstick and... these moisturizing cream for my hands I found them in my drawer"

-"Glad to know that you also use us as a trash can" commented Changbin teasingly.

Obviously not so amused by this, the said JYP made them eject into the other room where they were changed and taken towards their private jet to begin the mission

✩°｡⋆⸜ 🍪

become an official distributor of Lixie's factory was strangely easier than expected. This was due to Chan and the fact that he was also from Australia which meant that Jake, the one in charge of admissions, didn't ask any more questions and gave them a stock followed by the associated uniform

-"I look hideous in it" commented Jisung

"it's definitely not my color" he muttered, trying to arrange the shirt differently while Chan and Changbin were just concerned that the shirt was a little tight on them.

On the way, Changbin analyzed the boxes containing the cookies, no nutritional value was written there, just the company logo: A smiling chick surrounded by the face of a rabbit and a white ferret.

-"The delights of Lixies, vanilla flavored cookies; meh nothing special"

But curious Jisung opened one of the boxes to taste one. "What? We have to know what's in there!"

But as soon as he had it in his mouth it was like an exolosion of flavor, nothing mattered other than eating more...and then again

-"Hey calm down Sungie I remind you that we have to sell them!" Chan commented but Jisung was too absorbed in the taste to listen. Or even notice the waistband of his shorts tightening around his shorts

But soon enough they had to start their distribution in the neighborhood starting with a name that came up frequently, it was even highlighted as the best customers who had to be treated well on the sheet that we had given them. : Yang Jeongin

-"He looks cute" commented Chan who had quickly searched the youngest's Instagram account after typing in his name.

It was a basic account, photos with OOTD hashtags and nothing new.

But after knocking, when the door opened it was as if a very person was in front of them.

Looking like a fox, the big smile was the same but... how can I say it... he was massive.

-"Oh you're finally here I've been waiting for you all morning" Jeongin commented happily as his whole body shook

-"But it's not Seungmin who's coming this time? He's always here on Tuesday, I even put on my favorite sweater" added Jeongin with a pout while the three spies stared at him curiously without knowing what to say which could sound offensive. Even Jisung stopped snacking when he saw Jeongin

How did the student in these photos get so fat? His whole body barely fit through the door frame!

Jeongin talked nonstop and again, he talked about his love for Seungmin who he assumed was an employee of Lixie Factory; about his studies being so exhausting that he was studying at home now or even about his love for Lixie's cookies.

-"It's true that I gained a few kilos but it was worth it, I feel so happy" he added, speaking in full ecstasy.

And as indicated on the sheet, all this stock was going to Jeongin. So understand how he looked badly at Jisung who was eating his food. But on the other hand is it not good to share?

After a brief greeting where Changbin brought the entire stock into the youngest's lobby they left with little information.

-"We're not likely to go very far. We don't even know what's in these cookies"

But Jisung, who knew how to negotiate to take a box, happily devoured each cookie one by one as if nothing else count.

-"I know, a little bit of paradise with a lot of chocolate" he said admiringly.

-"Pff, shut up and eat in silence" commented Changbin, shoving another cookie into his mouth while Chan sighed heavily at their antics

-"I think we'll be sure if we go to the factory where the cookies were produced"

He took out his telephone and after a quick search he got the address which fortunately was in a country not far away.

- "Quickly, let's go and soon it will be sorted"

-"wait, I have to take off this belt, it's so tight i can't breath"

Jisung undid his belt and even undid the button of his pants so that they were tightened by his belly which was poking over them.

Wait ...

Since when did he have a belly?

-"Dude it seems like you've gained weight" commented Changbin who curiously anointed his stomach, at least they easily understood how Jeongin had become so massive, if a few biscuits are enough to make Jisung a pot belly then a dozen boxes were enough to make him obese !

-"I feel like this isn't going to end well"

Chan sighed as the three of them boarded their plane which took off towards Sydney, Australia.

But what they didn't know was that they were being closely observed by a certain Kim Seungmin who, after taking a photo of their jet, sent it by email followed by the message "you're going to have visitors"

✩°｡⋆⸜ 🍪

So once in the plane the autopilot mode was activated leaving the three young men to relax before facing their mission again.

At least they had discovered various important things about Lixie Factory!

1- They built customer loyalty by offering them free samples. And seeing how Jisung quickly became addicted despite being the type of guy who paid attention to his figure, it was another proof that there was a little something extra in these cookies.

2- Officially the owner of the factory was called Lee Felix but seeing as Chan couldn't find any more information about him or a recent photo he doesn't know if it was that important

3- it was possible to visit the factory as visitors and for free.

-"Like in Charlie and the Chocolate Factory!" Changbin commented as Chan chuckled

In short, information that led to nothing. Anyway at that moment only Chan seemed to be looking for a solution, Changbin was playing with his phone and Jisung was munching on a few folds of cookies while seeming to be looking for the pants he had seen earlier.

-"At this rate you're going to need size XXL" teased Changbin while Jisung took offense

-"You're exaggerating, it's only my second box of the day!"

-"...Since we got on the plane"

Changbin was teasing Jisung but deep down he was right, in just a few hours the once athletic and muscular Jisung had swollen and was simply chubby, lucky his suit was made of a stretchy material but who knows how long it lasted fit on his growing body?

He who complained of having a big ass because of poorly cut jeans ended up having one much bigger than his counterparts, but the majority of the fat was slipped onto his cheeks making them look rounder and chubbier all the time. A second chin was forming there but his belly had swollen to the point of resting on his newly thickened thighs, he was even starting to develop a pair of moobs which were getting bigger over time.

A noise rang out in the plane, a sign that it was about to land. So with difficulty Jisung tried to attach himself under the teasing gaze of his hyungs who strangely didn't seem at all worried about his growing body ... they even seemed to like it

-" next stop , Lixie factory!"

✩°｡⋆⸜ 🍪

Although Australia is a hot country, the seasons were reversed so despite it being June they were allowed a cold breeze and a little rain but no one seemed to care.

Yes even Jisung didn't say anything about his suit being mud stained!! These biscuits had completely turned his brain, poor thing, he was a lost cause.

Fortunately it was easy to find the factory and after entering it you just had to find a way to infiltrate the place closed to the public.

-"I think we should ...where is Jisung? Changbin where are you?" Now Chan found himself alone, he didn't see his friends anywhere which was problematic since you know THEY WERE ON A MISSION.

But while he was imagining the worst, the room had to empty a few people so that he saw in the distance, a free buffet of biscuits accompanied by Jisung who grew a little bigger as the hours went by , gorging on these cookies.

Not far from him was Changbin who seemed to be flirting with a young man with freckles who was shoving a biscuit into his mouth in a far too sensual way.

-"Guys come on we have to...visit the factory yeah that's it"

After all he wasn't going to reveal to the public that they were spies, especially if this innocent-looking young guy was there.

-"The next visit takes place in 15 minutes, I was just giving your friends a taste of the latest specialties straight from the factory"

The boy with an innocent demeanor had a voice that contrasted with his angelic face. He seemed far too confident for someone passing through or working here and honestly Chan was wary, after all he was now alone here since Jisung seemed to have just become a total pig Changbin started to catch up with him while being hypnotized by this young man

- "Taste a cookie, you'll see they are delicious" declared another boy, this time taller than him, long hair and a seemingly innocent smile although Chan could detect malice there.

-"It'll be fine thank you I-"

- “Shh, enjoy the taste” he declared, bringing a cookie to the hollow of his lips, making him understand that he had everything but the choice to refuse. After all, was he going to risk ruining their cover? But on the other hand if he accepted he risked becoming as crazy as Jisung and Changbin were at that moment!

Fortunately he was saved by an order of people who almost ran to the buffet. So the crowd movement allowed Chan to leave here and head towards the back door reserved for staff

-"Sorry guys I'll come pick you up later" he said in a weak voice before running

You didn't have to walk long to discover surprising things there. Just down in the factory was a team of thirteen people just as big as Jeongin had been the last time he had seen him. They were making the boxes by putting the biscuits in the packaging while receiving cookies through a tube in front of them which arrived directly in their mouth.

Chan tried to move forward as quietly as possible, so they were too absorbed in their work to pay attention to anything.

-"Did you hear anything Jihoon?"

-"Don't lose concentration Sooyoung, it's probably your stomach that's gurgling"

-"hm...you're probably right"

The further Chan advanced, the more they were surprised by the background of this factory which was definitely hiding something.

Besides, they advanced and folded and all was made by machines. Until you arrive at a room that appears to be a central room. There were no lights apart from a large screen which illuminated the room.

Chan advanced discreetly but as he took another step the lights came on all at once, blinding the poor Australian who let his guard down. Leaving the opportunity to be thus tied up and tied to a seat.

It took him a while to see the environment around him. Two other seats were in front of him and there were Jisung and Changbin who had gained a lot of weight since earlier.

Jisung was just a little bit closer to being called obese while Changbin seemed to him to have replaced all those muscles with thick layers of fat.

Both seemed lost, as if without the cookies in their mouths they regained their senses.

All three were afraid, they were imprisoned in an unknown place at the mercy of these two young men, a third of whom hidden in the shadows on his seat caressing his cat

-"It's a shame that spies as cute as you tried to get in our way"

The young man from the shadow then turned to face them and show his face to the light.

-"But Minho hyung we can at least manage to find an arrangement, they are much too cute to be killed" declared the young man with the stain offreckles that caressed Changbin's rounded cheek

The said Minho then got up thoughtfully and approached them, pretending to think. "It's true that you are very cute...almost too cute to be spies"

- “And what are you going to do with us then?”

-"Hyunjin-ah! Press the button please"

So the tall blond pressed a button located just not far from Chan. The chandelier above them began to lower, giving way to a machine with an articulated arm. They were all scared at first, especially when it started turning around them for no reason.

-"come on Felix you can start the machine, our little ones must be well fed"

-"Yes hyung"

Felix did too, so cookies were dispensed into the machine.

This is where realization hit Chan.

They were going to fatten us up...

When he glanced at his friends, too carried away by the euphoria of just seeing these cookies, he realized that it was over for them, that nothing was going to help them.

Shedding a tear, Hyunjin came to wipe it with the palm of his fingers and tried to reassure him in a calm voice.

-"We're not bad, I promise, trust me, you'll see, we'll explain everything to you after that"

-"I have no choice after all"

No, he had no choice, especially when the machine finally approached him to distribute a cookie which he shoved into his mouth.

He also succumbed to this pleasure.

The bad guys had won

But had 3racha really lost?

✩°｡⋆⸜ 🍪

Three months was the time they spent at the factory.

In reality it seemed less scary when we got to know it in detail, it was true that it reminded us of Willy Wonka's chocolate factory but much more welcoming and warm!

With time Chan became less suspicious and as Hyunjin loved to say "The fuller your belly is, the more confident you are"

But don't get me wrong, they weren't constantly force-fed by the machine, only if one of them did something stupid like asking too many questions or trying to escape, although the cookies had an addictive taste and that we want to eat it endlessly, after 2 hours it's an stomach ache that replaces the feeling of pleasure but don't worry, our dear villains were there to take care of them.

You see, all three did not have villainous intentions. Yes their biscuit had an addictive side but you want to know the story behind it?

-"It was Felix's idea, in high school he was rejected by a boy even though he offered him homemade brownies"

-"What an idiot, how dare he!" Changbin shouted before Felix took his arm to calm him down.

Hyunjin cleared his throat before continuing his story "And so when he talked about it to me and Minho hyung he mentioned wanting to create a love potion so no one has to go through that"

And that's when Chan understood

Love.

Jeongin wasn't in love with cookies for their taste, he was in love with Seungmin

Changbin was also not in love with all these treats concocted by Felix, he was in love with Felix.

Jisung, on the other hand, only liked the biscuits but after a force-feeding session that they suffered after Chan asked questions that were a little too personal, Jisung confided "even in these moments I prefer to experience them when you are there"

Jisung was in love with them.

The answer was love, it seemed confusing and yet so clear, the only thing Chan did was take another cookie which he ate silently.

-"You were right Hyunjin, I did well to trust you"

Maybe he had fallen in love too

✩°｡⋆⸜ 🍪

From now on, life at the factory was calmer and more joyful for everyone.

Felix was finally loved as he should be, and even if he sometimes doubted Changbin's love because he feared that it was only due to the cookie, Minho reassured him by affirming that the only thing these cookies did was to by making it bigger was showing what the other person felt.

So even Jisung caught the eyes of his friends as soon as they heard this. They knew that the youngest was sentimental but to the point of loving them both? Do we think he was too indecisive or did his heart have a lot of room?

They too had room to love him and someone else.

Call it funny lr weird dynamic but that was their life now.

They didn't even talk to them about JYP or their spy career, now they were the advisors responsible for tasting each new Lixie Factory creation.

Obviously this caused one obvious thing: they had become big, so big that they were accompanied all the time.

Jisung was the biggest of them, he intrigued the boys a lot especially when they saw the gap between him and his hyungs getting bigger and bigger.

But should he mention those times Minho brought him into his office to force-feed him cookies? No, it was their little secret.

But don't think that Chan and Changbin were thin, they were getting pretty massive too. Now with their bulging bellies , it was almost impossible for them to walk as they used to , they could only waddle which was "the most adorable thing in the world" based on Felix's words.

It's almost funny to think that a few months ago they were gym rat, now if there's one thing that drove them crazy it was Lixie's delicacies

-"Hyunjin-ah I have a question!"

-"I'm listening to you Channie"

-"Why did you keep us with you? I mean we could have been your prisoners or worked in the factory... why us?"

Hyunjin pretended to think before settling down on the oldest's lap, there wasn't much room given since his stomach took most of the place but it was enough for him (plus he could rub it gently in the same time so that was perfect !)

-"You were way too cute to work for us silly~"

Chan was then satisfied with this answer and simply chuckled.

-"But you want to know something fun?"

Hyunjin leaned closer to his ear and whispered in a low voice so that only Chan could hear.

“The little side effect in the biscuits it's just because we like chubby guys so we just needed to fatten you up a little to make you even more perfect in our eyes ”

#weight gain #my fic #my fics #skz chubby

[bangtan-yn]

Happiness

Pairing: Jungkook (husband) x Reader Fem

Genres: Romance, fluff

Word Count: 3.5K approx

Warning: Angst, Depression, Swearing, Pregnancy Complication.

The sound of splattering oil is heard while the batter is poured in the pan by Y/n, who is busy making Pancakes for breakfast. She lets the side get cooked and gets the jug to pour fresh juice into it… while changing the side of the pancake she felt muscular arms around her petite waist and she heard a groan left from the one holding her.

"I was looking for you in the room. Why did you leave me alone there?"

Her husband said in his sleepy breathy voice while trying to snuggle in the crook of her neck.

Y/n just let out a small chuckle in order to hide her nervousness as butterflies started invading her stomach at the speed of the light.

"I had to make breakfast for us, Love. You didn't eat anything in the night as well…"

She said while struggling to take out the cooked pancake and put in the plate because of the heavy weight of the muscle pig..

He turned her around.

"I can't seem to fulfill my appetite for.…"

Her eyes widened realising his words and slapped his arm while turning around.

"You pervert..!!"

She grabbed the plates and the chocolate syrup.

"Come-on sit here, breakfast is ready.."

He grabbed the plates from her hands and started to put in on the shelf while properly covering the breakfast while Y/n stood there dumbfounded.

"What are you doing..?? Don't you want to eat …"

"We'll have breakfast later right now I have an important business…"

He gave her his best bunny smile while Y/n looked at him confused oblivious of his intentions. He came near her and tried to pick her up bridal style.

Y/n: "Jungkook..!!! No.! No.! No..! We'll deal with your important business some other time… right now let's have breakfa…"

Before she could complete her sentence Jungkook smirked and picked her up on his shoulder and started taking Y/n to their room ignoring all her pleas.

Y/n: "Jungkook. Put me down. I'll fall… Jungkook what are you doing… Jungkook, Hobi oppa and my Unnie would be coming anytime… please Leave me please.."

He entered their bedroom and closed the door with his leg and placed Y/n on his bed..

—-----------------------------

Well it was a typical arrange marriage for both of them. When Jungkook's parents told him that they have found a perfect girl for him he didn't mind. He had trust in his parents choice and always wanted a girl of his mother's liking.

Y/n had graduated and was working in her father's firm when her father had a business deal with Jungkook's father. In no time Mr Jeon chose Y/n for his son because of her manners and decency…

For 3 to 4 months straight they gave time to each other to understand each other better… likes, dislikes everything… As the time passed by their bond started to get stronger and ultimately they started to fall in love. Jungkook could see the reflection of his mother in Y/n and he felt blessed to have Y/n in his life…He wasn't wrong afterall.

—--------------------------------

It was Jungkook's birthday and everyone was gathered in the house. Y/n and her sister were arranging dinner with the help of maids.

Mary: "So when are you going to tell him about this?"

Y/n: "I don't know why Unnie.! But I am nervous to tell this to him.."

Her sister looked to at her confused.

Mary: "But you said that he himself wanted this… you both were waiting for this beautiful moment.."

Y/n blushed and said,

"Of Course we were… now that I am experiencing it. I am excited and nervous at the same time."

Mary hugged her younger sister.

Mary: "I still can't believe My little Y/niee grew up so much."

They both were laughing when they heard a distant voice coming from the living room.

Hobi: "Mary! come here… hurry up"

Y/n and Mary giggled.

Y/n: "Unnie your Husband can't even bear you away from him even for a second…"

Mary: "Hehe. Let's go and see what does he need now…??"

They both went to the living and Mary went near her husband and son.

Mary: "What is it, Hobi??"

Hobi: "Look at your son. He's asking for ice cream right now.. I told him we can't have it now…"

Mary Haneult down to her son's level.

"Baby we need to have dinner first that your favorite Y/niee made, right? If you don't eat the food she made, she'll be sad…"

Haneul: "Okay mama."

He nodded cutely.

Hobi: "Yahhh!!! I told you the same thing but you listened to your mother."

Haneul: "Dad. You also listen to mama only."

They both widened their eyes at the statement and Hobi picked him up while tickling him making him laugh.

Hobi: "Yahhh!!! You brat…"

Y/n was fondly watching the whole scene when she felt someone back hugging her, bringing her out of her thoughts…

Jungkook: "Where's my birthday present Hon?"

Y/n blushed and turned towards him placing her hands on his shoulders.

Y/n: "Can't you wait a bit more… it's something really special"

He pouted.

Jungkook: "I can not now. Let me guess… Is it our Honeymoon trip?"

Y/n shook her head as a no..

Jungkook: "Uhmmm! Is it a cruise trip?"

She again shook her head…

He pulled her closer and started to snuggle in the crook of her neck not caring if others might see them.

Jungkook: "What are you planning to gift your Husband, Mrs. Jeon.."

She lightly pushed him away.

Y/n: "Aish! For that you'll have to wait, Mr. Jeon."

—-------------------------------------

Everyone gathered around the table to cut the cake and gave gifts to Jungkook. Now it was Y/n's turn. She went near him and gave him 2 boxes.

He smiled brightly, seeing his wife nervous. He opened up the first box to see a beautiful rolex watch and the other one his favorite perfume that he wanted to get.

Jungkook: "Wow. Babe this watch is beautiful. Thank you."

He was genuinely smiling like a baby bunny.

Y/n: "Jungkook! There's something else as well..!"

Jungkook knitted his brow seeing her so much confused. Y/n took a quick glance at her sister for reassurance who was holding her sleeping baby in her arms. Hobi looked at Mary curiously and went near her, placing his hand on her shoulder. She nodded at him as well while smiling.

Jungkook pulled Y/n from her hand seeing her confused and she handed him a box. Jungkook opened the box and his eyes filled with tears.

Jungkook: "Is it true.??"

Y/n nodded and he pulled her in for a hug while kissing her head multiple times.

Jungkook: "I promise I'll be the best father for our child. I will always protect you both… I am so happy Y/n..!!! Thank you..!"

After that they greeted their parents who were extremely happy for their kids. Jungkook's mom gave a bone crushing hug to Y/n.

—--------------------------------

Time skip.

Jungkook: "Y/n! You have to take the medicine. The doctor will scold me if you don't."

Y/n: "But Jungkook the taste is so soooo bad. I don't want to take the medicine.."

Jungkook: "Hon! It's important for the baby, please."

Y/n looked at him and with an annoyed expression she took the medicine from his hands.

Y/n: "Only for him, otherwise I hate this medicine."

Jungkook laughed at her cuteness and her pouty lips.

Jungkook: "I am sorry Babe that you have to take this but we want our child to be healthy right.."

She nodded.

Y/n: "Of Course..!! But Jungkook I am scared. I don't know why.."

Jungkook chuckled and pulled her in for a hug while kissing her head.

Jungkook: "Don't be. I am here with you. I will protect you."

Y/n broke the hug and looked at him while pouting again

Jungkook: "You'll protect my baby more right?"

Jungkook sighed,

Jungkook: "Hon, why do you keep saying that? I'll protect you both. You both are my responsibility."

Y/n: "No.. no.. no.. Mr. Jeon Jungkook!!! Promise me if something happens to me you'll take care of my child. Promise me."

Jungkook knew that it was her mood swings that made her vulnerable at times and he has to be patient.

Jungkook: "Ok my Wifey!! I promise you. Now can I hug my wife and sleep?"

Y/n's smile immediately appeared on her face making her look more beautiful. She wrapped her arms around his torso and they both slept cuddling.

In the morning Jungkook was getting ready for his office as he had an important meeting that day. He had been working for this project for months and now was the day when all his efforts were going to be fruitful. He had called Y/n's sister Mary to take care of Y/n in the mean time because when it comes to her he couldn't trust maids that they are responsible enough. His wife is 7 months pregnant and he doesn't want to take any risks. He wanted the best for his wife and his child.

Jungkook received a call from his secretary.

Jungkook: "What???.... But how can they prepone the meeting? They were to give this time. But you should have convinced them. How am I going to manage now Damn it. Let me see what I can do."

Y/n, who was hearing the whole conversation went near him

Y/n: "Jungkook you can go. I will be alright. I promise."

Jungkook: "But Noona is coming here after an hour. She has to pick Haneul from school."

Y/n: "Babe! It's a matter of one hour! I will take care of myself"

Jungkook: "I just don't know. I can't leave you alone here. Even the maid has gone out to the market. I just cannot. Hear me clearly, Okay.."

Y/n held his hand and made him sit on the couch

Y/n: "Alright! Listen to me. Your wife is strong just like you, okay. Don't worry. You have worked hard so much for this project. It's just a matter of one hour. I will not do anything till Sister comes, okay??"

Jungkook: "Promise me that??"

Y/n: "I promise you, Silly. Now go and get the deal.Prove them that you are My Hero Jungkook! The one who never loses."

Jungkook chuckled and kissed her. He left the house, leaving a text message for Mary that he had to leave early.

Y/n was sitting in her bed reading a novel that she loves to read. All of a sudden she felt pain in her abdomen but she felt it was normal to be in pain since it's her 7th month.

She tried to suppress it since she knew she couldn't take any painkillers.

She felt her throat was getting dry and she wanted to have water.

Y/n looked at her night stand but found the jug empty. With an urge to have water she stood up and went downstairs. While she was coming downstairs she felt dizzy and her head was spinning so bad.

When there were only a few stairs left, Y/n encouraged herself that she can do this. But to her dismay her foot slipped and she ended up falling down. She couldn't process anything before fainting.

After some time Mary came to the house with Haneul.

Mary: "Y/n, Honey! We are home."

She shouted.

Mary turned to Haneul

Mary: "Let me put these things in the kitchen first and then we'll go to meet Y/niee, okay. And promise me you'll not bother her today?"

He nodded like a good boy and Mary started arranging things in the kitchen. Haneul left from there excited to meet his aunt but when he came near the staircase he started shouting.

Haneul: "Mama..!!! Mama..!!! Come fast…"

Mary came immediately and gasped at the scene in front of her. Y/n lying unconscious in front of her.

She started rubbing her palms and tapped her face again and again to wake her up…!!

—----------------------

Jungkook was busy in his presentation. As usual he was giving his best. He has poured all his energy. His clients were pretty much impressed by the way he was presenting. His proposal impressed them and so did his aura. He was so immersed in the meeting when his secretary came near him.

Jungkook: "Not now Ms. Mills"

Ms. Han: "Sir it's a call from Mrs. Jung. She says it's urgent..."

Jungkook: "Sister? Okay, give me the phone. Excuse me gentlemen."

Jungkook: "Mary, just allow me 20 minutes. I am gonna wrap up and come home. Y/n is fine right?..........What??? What are you saying, Mary?Where is my wife right now? I am coming to the hospital right away."

He didn't even wait a second to explain the matter to the clients. His secretary understood that something was wrong, otherwise Jungkook would never leave. She apologised on his behalf.

Jungkook started his car and started driving like a mad man. The car stopped on the signal he kept honking and cursing.

Jungkook: "Why did I leave my wife and child alone? Be Safe,Y/n. Please be safe. I can't lose you both."

He reached the hospital all messed up and Y/n's mother immediately came giving him a hug while crying.

Jungkook: "Mother!! Nothing will happen to her. I am here."

Hobi, who was hugging his wife all this time, left her and came near Jungkook.

Hobi: "You should meet the doctor first, Jungkook."

Jungkook went near Mary.

Jungkook: "Mary don't cry. Y/n promised me that she and my child will be alright. Don't cry."

Jungkook went from there to the doctor's room. His world collapsed hearing the doctor's words.

Doctor: "Mr. Jeon. The case is already critical. Both lives are at stake. You have to tell us either you want us to save the mother or the child. You can decide and let us know."

After signing the papers and doing all the formalities Jungkook came outside and saw Hobi and broke down crying badly.

Jungkook: "Why us Hyung ? Why us? She broke her promise. She broke her only promise. I did that as well. I couldn't protect them"

Hobi just held Jungkook while he was crying.

—-----------------------------

Y/n was lying lifelessly on the hospital bed.

Jungkook came in to meet her. He knew his wife needed him the most. She was breaking up from inside. He wanted to hug her. He wanted to hold her.

He knew that now they both have to be each other's shield to overcome this storm. He knew his wife needed him and he needed her to overcome this loss.

He came near the bed and kissed her forehead as tears kept coming out of both their eyes.

Jungkook: "Y/n..!"

Y/n: "Jungkook! My child.. He's no more. Jungkook!! You broke your promise."

Jungkook just kept saying sorry and hugged her. She wasn't able to move at all.

—-------------------------

Days passed and their life was becoming dull each day.

Y/n always got up in the night because of nightmares. She would start calling her child. Till Jungkook would wake up to calm her down. She was holding up very badly. As for a mother, it's a big thing to lose her child.

She was skipping her meals and she used to beat herself thinking that she shouldn't be alive. It was her baby who should be alive rather than her.

Jungkook came into the room while closing the door behind him. He had a plate in his hands for Y/n.

He sat Infront of her and offered her a bite but she lightly pushed his hand away.

Jungkook: "Baby! You cannot skip the meals forever. You have to eat to gain strength."

Y/n: "Jungkook please go from here."

Jungkook: "Y/n you can't always push me away. I can't see you like this forever.."

Y/n: "Jungkook, I am asking you to leave"

She said a bit louder.

Jungkook: "Y/n! It's been a month since we lost our child and you have locked yourself into a shell that you don't want to break. I am your husband, honey and I am just worried about you."

Y/n lost her patience. She had been controlling it for a whole month but she let it out while shouting at Jungkook.

Y/n: "No! Mr Jungkook.. You are not my husband anymore. You are not my husband. You are the killer of my child. You killed my baby."

Jungkook's eyes widened seeing her like this. He went near her to hold her hand and to try to calm her down.

Jungkook: "I never did it on purpose Y/n. I was forced to make a choice."

Y/n: "You promised me you'll protect our baby. You broke your promise. You broke my trust. You compromised my baby. You killed him…"

Jungkook: "Y/n! Please don't say that… I never d…"

Y/n: "Shut up, Jungkook.!!! Leave me here .I want to be alone.."

Jungkook tried to go near her to talk.

Jungkook: "But please listen to m…."

Y/n: "Jungkook! I said leave me alone for sometime."

Without saying a word Jungkook left her there. Y/n kept crying, holding her knees. She felt so alone. She felt empty. She felt helpless!

—-------------------------

After sometime Y/n got a call from her sister.

On the call.

Mary: "Y/n! Where were you? I was calling you for so long…"

Y/n: "Unnie, I am sorry. I was actually.."

Mary: "Come and take your Husband from here"

Y/n: "What..?? Jungkook is there???"

Mary: "Yeah. He is with Hobi right now. He came here drunk and he is saying he don't want to go back home"

Y/n: "Sissy! I-i can't come actuall-y"

Mary: "Why is that? You two had a fight?"

Y/n: "He didn't fight Unnie. I asked him to leave. "

Mary: "What? Crazy girl? Why did you fight with your husband..?

Y/n started tearing up.

Y/n: "Unnie, you will never understand what I am going through."

Mary: "Honey! I know but it's not your husband's fault right? You can't punish him for something he never did."

Y/n: "Unnie! How can you even say that? It's obviously his fault. It's not a mistake, it's a crime. He had a choice, Unnie. He broke his promise."

Mary: "Y/n you are forgetting something here. It was his child as well. It's not just you who lost a child. He is in grief as well."

Y/n kept silent. She didn't have the audacity to even utter a single word.

Mary: "All this time you had him. You had me. You had our parents and his parents who were supporting you. They were trying to make you feel better. Your husband had no one. Do you even know he'd been skipping meals as well? Hobi is the one forcing him to eat."

Y/n: "Unnie. I didn't know that."

Mary: "How would you know that when you were busy accusing your husband, little one?"

Y/n: "I am coming to get him Unnie"

—--------------------------------

8 years later…

Y/n is flipping the sides of the pancakes while humming. She placed the pancakes in the plate while pouring the chocolate syrup over it. She turned back to put the pancakes on the breakfast table and was about to call others when she saw a beautiful view in front of her eyes. A giggle escaped her lips seeing her husband and 6 years daughter placing their elbows on the table and pouting while waiting for the breakfast.

Y/n: "I was about to call you two. Here are the pancakes and I am going to get the fresh juice."

Both Jungkook and his daughter said in a sink.

"No, we don't want juice."

She knitted her brows and looked at them confused.

Y/n: "What should I bring then??"

Both of them started laughing sheepishly.

Y/n: "Alright my bunnys.I am bringing banana milk. Wait here."

Both father and the daughter got excited.

After having the breakfast. Y/n helped Jeanine in getting ready for school and Jungkook got ready for his office.

Jungkook started shouting.

"Y/n!! I can't find my file…"

Y/n: "Which file?? You never gave me any file."

Jungkook: "Yes I did. Come to the room and help me find it."

Y/n went to their room and started to go towards the drawer where Jungkook keeps his files when he pulled her in for a hug and started snuggle in her neck.

Y/n: "Jungkook, Jeanie is going to come. Leave me."

Jungkook: "But I was missing you."

Y/n: "Jungkook, she's getting late from school. Can't you wait."

A voice came from behind that startled the.

Jeanie: "Daddy, mommy is right. You can wait. My school will not."

Jungkook ran towards her and picked her up in his arms.

Jungkook: "You naughty baby."

Y/n saw them both happy and a smile appeared on her face as well.

'The happiness she had been waiting for was now in her life."

—--------------------

"Life is all about ups and downs. It's you who decide if you want to live in the miseries of past or you want to give a chance to happiness of future that awaits you."

#bts #bangtan #bts fluff #bts x reader #bts fanfic #jungkook #bts angst #jungkook × reader #jungkook fluff

[valeskakingdom]

What do you have to lose except your sanity? (part45)

"You know, doll," Jerome panted when he was carrying the unconscious Scarlet in his little hidden track "That reminds me of the time we tried to escape Arkham" He snickered "You got shot in the stomach and I carried you to your way out. Just now, it's a little different, in Arkham you were able to talk to me, but now you're like a corpse"

He laid her on a table and stared at her wound for a while, deliberating how to stop the bleeding and how to recover her. He had no clue about medical treatments or how to revive someone if needed. All he had was an old little medical kit he found there and a device that reminded him of something you used for electroshock therapy. Could he revive her with electroshocks? He could try it at least. But will she be the same? According to all their experiences in Arkham, he knew people could change through it. He didn't want to risk a thing. Scarlet could just change in the wrong way. Imagine, she's a polite, shy, and decent girl - that's horrible! What if her affection for Jerome stopped instantly? What if she called him a monster? A murder? How would Jerome ever plan some brutal murders with her? She would lose all her cleverness, her creativity, and her perfectionism. She would lose everything Jerome appreciated about her! She would become worthless, scum like Oswald. Jerome couldn't bare it. He needed his Scarlet! What should he do without his precious doll? He would have no one to share all the fun with! He would have lost the person that always stayed by his side! That was unacceptable.

"Hmm," Jerome hummed when he touched the wound, seeing that blood was dripping down her clothes "Wow, Andy was no bad gunman. He shot right through your stomach. That's gonna be a hard one as I'm no doctor. But," Jerome grabbed the medical kit and placed it right next to her to open it "I'ma solve your little problem, no worries. I'ma be gentle"

From the medical kit, he grabbed a scalpel and cut the wound wider to have more access to the bullet that was stuck in her stomach. The blood was formally floating down her stomach like a waterfall. The table and the ground were slowly covered in blood  - probably because Jerome cut through a vein. He didn't know it! He had no clue about the human body, he didn't know where to cut best!

"Oh!" Jerome gulped, grabbing some pledget and pressing them against the wound "That was not planned," His eyes widened when he noticed the blood was slightly dripping through the pledges. Blood was everywhere now, it was like Scarlet was taking a bath in it "Hell, doll, you're killing me, you're bleeding out like a slaughtered pig. That's...that's strangely satisfying to see this, you know, you would love that, too, I'm sure about that"

"Damn," He then put the pledget aside when he saw the bleeding somewhat stop and took a pair of little tweezers from the kit to pull the bullet out of her body "That's harder than I expected, I didn't know a little bullet could cause that many problems," He podded with the tweezers in Scarlet's stomach, it was like the bullet was nowhere to be found "Where's that fucking thing? It can't be solubilized, can it?" He kept searching for the bullet until he felt some renitency "Got it!"

Now he stared at the with a blood-covered bullet. It was so pretty, it was shining more than all the stars in the darkness. He was so fascinated by this little thing. It was so small but it could ruin human lives. It could damage muscles, tendons, and ligaments. It damages organs, and it even ends lives! That was so wonderful, Jerome thought, so many lives have ended thanks to little bullets like these, and so many people have suffered - he would enjoy the moment more if this bullet's victim wasn't his doll, though.

"Oh," Jerome immediately pressed another pledget against the wound "We don't want you to bleed out, right? Hehe, this would be a little too tragic for my taste. Now let's see with what I can stitch the wound" He looked again into the medical kit. He saw some plasters, some bandages, the tweezers, a little scissors, some more plasters - and there were needles and thread!

"You know, doll," Jerome tried to pull the thread through the needle's hole "I have no real experience with this. We didn't have something like a TV in the circus, just a silly radio in every trailer to be up to date. I never had the chance to watch all the doctor sitcoms and see their little tricks with their tools so," He sighed " Don't be mad about the ugly scar"

And so he started to stitch the wound, humming his favorite song. You could already think that: it was a bloody mess. He tried to stitch the hole in Scarlet's colon, tried to stitch skin to skin, but he failed. He either formed a knot with the threads or stitched over the actual spot, sometimes even he sutured the colon with her skin, with other organs, or with the colon itself! Her stomach looked like a total mess. He didn't even stitch it right, he thought stitching a wound was like sewing costumes, he just needed to put all layers together to get a good result - it was not true. There was a lot more behind that like sanitizing, aseptic instruments, several devices, and the knowledge - but Jerome didn't care. He just wanted to leave it all behind him and bring his doll back to life.

"Done," Jerome let out a relieved sigh "Not that bad actually, it looks...uhm...like a...uh...a J! Like a crippled J, yes," Jerome snickered "It looks quite good on your doll. I should have marked you much earlier" He then turned around, looking for some certain device "Now, how can I bring you back to life?"

He walked around his hidden track, from one side to another, in every corner and every room. He looked on every shelf, in every room - until he finally found this certain device. As said, he didn't know the device's name, but he knew it was used for electroshock therapy - and maybe this could bring Scarlet back to life.

He carried this heavy device to the table where Scarlet was laying. He put the electrodes on her head right and tied her arms and legs up so that she wouldn't fall on the ground when being electroshocked.

"So my love," Jerome snickered "Time for you to come back to me" And so he turned this certain device on.

Scarlet's body was shaking, her muscles were twitching and the table was shaking, as well. Seeing this scenario fascinated Jerome a lot. He had this certain power over her as if she was just a toy. To see her muscles twitching uncontrollably was so wonderful - and to his luck, Scarlet couldn't say anything against this, he cast a spell over her. He could shock her as many times as he wanted. She wouldn't say a thing, she would let him do it. For Jerome, it was like a dream come true! Finally, he would have control over a certain person without them nagging, babbling, insulting him, or else. He could do whatever he wanted! No one would tell him what to do or what was wrong and what was right.

Jerome tried this certain form of electroshock therapy several times - Scarlet wouldn't wake up. He increased the electroshock's power even, though the device was vibrating so much that he was even afraid it would be damaged. But sooner or later, Jerome turned the device off. He gave up on trying to revive his doll. Nothing worked. He lost his doll thanks to an idiot. That was impossible! He wouldn't lose Scarlet because of just a little bullet, would he? Scarlet wouldn't do this to him! She promised to stay with him! How could she do this to him?! - this was the moment when Jerome started to freak out. He could bare that Scarlet was dead. He couldn't bare that fate decided to take her life when he was practically reborn - and now he couldn't bring her back! It was similar to the story of Romeo and Juliet: Jerome died in front of Scarlet, was revived for some odd reason, and when they were just about to be reunited, Scarlet died a stupid death. Jerome hated it. He hated that stupid stories like these would become true once and nothing could have changed. It was ridiculous!

"Hmm," You suddenly heard from that corpse that was laying on the table. Jerome was surprised. Did his therapy work? Did he revive her? Or was it just the last breath shortly before the outcome? He wasn't sure, so he took a look at her. Her fingers started to move as if they were like vegetables that were about to defrost - so his attempts had to work!

"I knew you wouldn't leave me, doll," Jerome grinned, leaning his face close to her now cupped face "Now open your little pretty eyes for me" He was excited his little plan worked. He wouldn't have expected that after his several failed attempts.

And she did - but something was different.

She looked shocked, she seemed to panic when she saw Jerome's scarred, stapled, and distorted face right in front of her. This didn't look human to her. This was monstrous! He looked so gross, so inhuman. Was he even a real human? Or was it just a dream? Or was Scarlet delusional? Was it just her senses' trick? Who was this guy even? What did he want from her? Why was he staring at her?

"What's up, sweet cheeks?" Jerome gave her a questioning look "Something's wrong with my face?"

"Who, who are you? A-and where, where am I? I-I... Who-what has happened?" Scarlet wouldn't stop looking at him shocked, fearing, and panicking. In this formal trance, she was in, she tried to tear her arms up to push him away from her - but she couldn't. Her hands and even legs were tied up that she couldn't move away from the table - and this made her think she was in danger.

"It's me! Jerome! We’re here in my little hidden track" He frowned at her in confusion, what was wrong with her? She's never been so anxious before. Was the electroshock's aftermath? Was it what Scarlet had always talked about? The personality change like with Andy and Oswald? But memory loss? She never mentioned a word of it, didn't she? No, this couldn't be real, could it? "I rescued you from the dead, your little friend Andy was a good gunman. He shot you pretty bad in your stomach but God bless me, I fixed it" Jerome snickered "You seem a little fuzzy through all these electroshocks, huh? I know that feeling. My head was formally spinning after Dwight revived me. That will disappear soon enough, doll"

"U-untie me, p-please..." Scarlet stammered in a whisper, she was so scared of Jerome, you could tell. He was intimidating her with his look and his behavior. It was so crazy, so scary, it already showed her he wanted nothing good "The uhm...ties h-hurt my wrists a-and uhm... I can’t feel m-my legs..."

"Hmm," Jerome pretended to think "No. Your behavior seems a little strange to me, you know," he claimed on the table and hovered right above her body "I've heard electroshocks can make you fuzzy and change you - but that they would change you that much? It's almost incredible. You're the complete opposite of yourself! You've been so brutal, violent, and bloodthirsty, we used to have so much fun out there with killing, taking people hostage, and spreading chaos over Gotham. We were the Queen and King of the Underworld - and now you're just a pitiful little shy girl that's scared for her life when seeing me"

"M-me?" Scarlet looked completely shocked by what she has heard from him "I-I killed people? That's, that's not possible, I-I could never do such a-a cruel crime" She wanted to cry. This had to be lies! She would never kill someone! She wasn't capable of doing it! She could never hurt someone! She was the friendliest person in town! She had no reason to hurt someone at all!

"Oh it is possible, my love," Jerome chuckled, grabbing her chin softly and eyeing her deeply "You're not just any killer, you're a real bad bitch. Citizens used to call you Gotham's Grim Reaper. Whenever you walked across the streets, people died. It started with your parents, your dad's coworkers, your brother, his silly girlfriend, up to Theo Gallavan, and your little hookup Andy - you killed them all, it was all in the news! You-..."

"Oh my God..." Hearing this made her cry at least. She and a murderer? How was that possible? And why couldn't she remember it all? "I'm a monster... I killed my parents...and my brother... Please don't tell me it's true..."

"Shhh," Jerome shushed her, wiping her tears from her cheeks "Don't be sad about it, they deserved to die. They were the reasons for all your breakdowns, your depression, and your crying overnights. Think about it, you're free now! You can do whatever you want in this world! You can let all your pain and sorrow out on people,” Jerome cupped her face again “And I will help you with it”

“N-no,” Scarlet shook her head, whispering “I need to go to the police to report myself. I need to stand up for all these cruel things. I-...” She couldn't even speak out her sentence when Jerome violently slapped her across the face. She was shocked, it made her speechless. She couldn't even look at him so scared she was of him now. Slapping was just the beginning, she thought, what would he do next?

“You won't do anything without my permission!” Jerome couldn't hear it anymore. This wasn't Scarlet who spoke to him, this was another person. This person wasn't evil, they had no passion for murder and death, they lost this sparkling in their eyes when they looked at Jerome. There was fear because she thought Jerome would start torturing her to death. Her eyes just expressed she didn't want to be with him, that she wanted to run away “Do you think I'll let you go? HAHA, I won't. You're stuck in here with me until you become my old precious little doll that you've been before - and I'll do anything to achieve that”

#jerome valeska #gotham #dc #dcmultiverse #jerome valeska x reader #dc villains #dc villian #gotham city #gotham fandom #gotham jerome valeska #gotham jerome #gotham series #gotham fanfic #jerome valeska fandom #jerome valeska x you #cameron monaghan x reader #gotham x reader #jerome x reader #dc universe #cameronmonaghan

[formulapisces]

servus! halloooooo~ alles gut bei dir?

okay back to english lol. I know what it's like to feel like quitting :( languages are hard! I don't think german was ever that hard to speak, I think it was the one I was most confident in (I did it and italian for gcse) but I also got to practice with my dad, who lived in zurich for a few years, though it meant I mostly spoke züritüütsch which my teacher did not love, but our class assistant did since she spoke it too hehe. my advice would be listen to the language through tv / film / music and it should help you get a better understanding of how things should sound, but also if you're not confident in speaking just yet then don't feel the need to rush it

maybe we can cheer each other on and encourage each other 🥺🥺🥺

could you not ask to switch over to him? gp practices are generally really understanding if patients prefer one clinician over another. but if that isn't possible, maybe you can schedule your followups with him? their priority is that you get the care and support that you need, so I think they'll try and help here

🦇 (your friend 🩷🫂)

i’m feeling very accomplished because i said brot without accidentally rolling my r’s. small steps lol… it’s like i see the letter R and muscle memory kicks in you know? 😭😭

i did spanish at school and carried on learning it when i left school and that was great because they’re both romance languages and so many words are SO similar or the same + the accent is a lot easier for me - my mum learned german at school too, but now all she knows are numbers 1-10…

im currently at the stage of watching peppa pig in german, that’s how i learnt basic italian and it worked really well 😂 i’ll do some searching for german songs too later (but rolli und rita is so catchy… 🎶 was ist dein lieblingsfach? 🎵 )

i was thinking about switching doctors last night! i’ll definitely look into it, i just trust him and my current gp always sounds uninterested or over it. it would be so refreshing to have him as my gp instead 😅

#random but i want to make banana bread this week too #i’ve never actually made it before #i have such a long list of things to bake but i always just go back to foccaccia or cookies because they’re easy and i’m the BEST at it #i still need to make the recipe ethan sent to me 😭 #🦇 anon #ask #alèssi says things

[ask-gaining-minie]

How are you going to tease Kook when he comes back? He's been really pigging out and growing a bit of a belly from stuffing himself so much

Have you ever dreamed of stuffing him?

Well, not really since he never mentioned anything like that to me before last week. However, I saw it live when I came back from the airport. My chubby bunny in process was sitting on my couch sleeping from a food coma. I believe half of the food he are was all for me but someone lost controll hehe.

It did turn me on. Another one's belly just isn't the same as your own. My hands were literally glued to his hard, tiny gut. He's turning into a muscle chub and I am here for it.

#ask catmint minie

[helenazbmrskai]

Fuckboy Training 5 (m)

Part 1 – Part 2 – Part 3 – Part 4 – Part 5 (end)

Pairing – Gym Instructor! Jungkook x OC

Genre – College AU, Fuckboy AU, Gym Club AU, Boxing AU, Sport AU, Enemies To Lovers, Smut, Angst

Summary – [There’s a fitness club at your University run by the seven most popular kids in school, girls usually come in long lines the unwritten rule is you can get free exercise after training if you know what I mean *wink*]

Warnings – fuckboys, semi-slow burn, mention of sex, mutual pining, exercise (yuk), bantering, sexual tension, jk is a lil’ shit here but we love him, smut, dry humping, love kink, exhibitionism, they get nasty in a gym, needy jungkook cums in his workout pants and they are disgustingly in love, cameo girl with daddy issues

Word Count – (2,5k)

Author note. I want to thank all of you for supporting fuckboy training! It’s my second fic that got quite popular here so I’m thankful for every nice comment and all the likes and reblogs. When I first started writing this I had no idea that people will love this (but I guess you can’t go wrong with fuckboys hehe) I can’t believe that it’s over 20k+ words and even though I loved writing this story I’m also glad that I managed to finish it so thank you for reading and I’ll see you in my next fic!

Menu: Masterlist l Be part of my permanent taglist to recieve a notification when I upload a new fic or send an ask!

⤷ Part of Bangtan Gym Club

Sweat drenches my form, it drips from between my brows continuing its journey further down my face and collarbones rolling off my neck in single drops as I push my body to do one more sit up. There’s a girl standing near the treadmill chatting up Jungkook as he runs, she wears the polo that belongs to the employees but he pays her little to no attention as he catches my stare through the full body size mirror that monitors everyone’s whereabouts inside the gym and serves as a little motivation for those who feel like giving up. I take a look at the time and I’m surprised that it’s almost near lunchtime. Knowing the boys, they will be pissed if we arrive late again so I gulp down the remaining content in my water bottle and gracefully dust my yoga pants. I feel like shit and probably look like one with my heaving chest and red face but my steps are confident as I step in line to occupy his other side. His attention immediately snaps to me which earns him a toothy grin.

The girl stops telling her story and looks at me barely acknowledging my presence until Jungkook stops the treadmill to give my lips a little peck. ”Done already?” He’s out of breath but still manages to give me a bright smile. I nod ignoring the girl’s strange looks while I wipe the sweat from his neck with the towel that I found hanging on the side. It’s been a few months but sometimes I’m having a hard time comprehending that he’s truly mine. He broke a couple of hearts along the way and his tendency to flirt with girls are still there but I could forgive him knowing that he always makes sure to make me feel special. He never tries to hide our relationship and his previous fuckboy reputation is not something I like to dwell on especially now that I know he’s my boyfriend and he’ll never sacrifice what we have; as he claims I’m the only one he needs.

”The boys will kill us if we’re going to be late again. We’re supposed to celebrate Yoongi’s new solo album so wrap up quickly muscle pig.” Jungkook hums in understanding, not fazed by my little nickname as we tease each other all the time, to us it’s almost like calling your lover baby or darling. I see that there are only five minutes left so this time I choose to look at his left and take in the girl’s features. By now I thought that she’ll take a hint but around Jungkook there’s always girls from the difficult kind. Some might call them brave but I like to call them those chicks who have thick skin from the amount of makeup they put on. Studying her from afar it was clear that he was trying to flirt with my man this whole time I tried to focus on my cardio exercise.

Jungkook was never interested in girls like her, they scream trouble that would get immensely attached and naturally hard to handle and well, get rid of. It was easy to grow my confidence as Jungkook turned out to be a sweet and attentive lover and caring in nature. He’s a hidden gem that just needs some love to grow into a beautiful diamond once you pick it up from the dust. He got this sweet personality from her mother, she’s an angel to her loved ones but can be quite fierce at times. I can’t count in one hand how many times I had to get rid of girls who tried to shoot their shots. Once my eyes settled on the girl there was an unmistakable smirk that appeared in the corner of his mouth. It’s not the first time you have to deal with situations like this as it seems like he never lost his popularity even though the news of our relationship spread like wildfires around campus. However, there’s still a few who like to test the waters despite that.

Jungkook likes to rile me up he sometimes flirts back or replies with vague answers until I decide to show them who he belongs to. He could go on for hours how turned on he gets after I shut them down and claim my territory as Jeon Jungkook’s girlfriend. He’s a possessive lover in bed and likes to leave his marks on my body to let everyone know that I’m his and he takes pride in the fact that he got me under his spell. He likes the confidence I emit and it’s all thanks to his supportive words. When we started dating it was hard to imagine that we can be truly compatible but our dynamics surprised everyone including us as we found ways to better and complete each other in a very good way. He helped me feel more confident about myself and how to be unapologetically me and I taught him how to let things go. I take pride in the conversation I was having with Namjoon and Yoongi the other day as they said Jungkook seem more mature and laidback nowadays. He’s not as hot-headed and deals with conflicts way better than before. It doesn’t mean that we don’t fight, sometimes it’s about the leftover pad thai or who should do the dishes but we survived serious fights and we managed to come out stronger and more appreciative of each other. Love itself is beautiful but it’s not always enough to make a relationship work. It needs hard work and dedication to the other person as with the relationship you need to accept the differences and seek common ground. It’s a matter of dedication, the will to want to make things work because you would rather fight for what you have than spend your days without him.

And that’s something they don’t know about us. Rumours and the campus’ writers club has no idea what Jeon Jungkook means to me and it’s how things should be because this is only between me and Jungkook at the end of the day.

This girl in front of me is no threat.

Jungkook chose me to be his girlfriend and some college girls with daddy issues won’t ever break this bond between us. We’re still young, we have no idea where we will be a year later or ten years later. This relationship might not be the same after a year or after fifteen years but it’s alright because what truly matters at this moment is that Jungkook loves me, and I love him.

”K-Kook, stop we’re in public.” My fingers find his wet curly hair to keep me grounded, he smells like soap and his favourite perfume. My core throbs at the manly scent that envelops him – he could stand in front of me with a trash bag on him and I would still find him the most attractive man in the whole world.

He always looks good post-workout and after a quick shower and he clearly thinks the same about me as he immediately pulled me the other way and pushed my body against the closest wall. There’s no one around but it doesn’t mean that they can’t come here at any given moment so I try to tug his hair back, away from my neck as he started making fresh bruises along the collum of my neck.

”Baby. I like this gym. I don’t want us to get kicked out because you can’t keep it in your pants and we’re late if you have already forgotten.” My scolding is half-hearted as he nips at my pulse point. Jungkook works his mouth over to my collarbones, giving the fading hickeys a new reminder that will take more days to fully heal. My eyes close on their own as his hands cup my ass from behind but that’s what makes me pull away at lightning speed. He pouts when I don’t let him have his ways, I can hardly suppress the urge to kiss his pout away but if I do I know we will never leave on time and we’re so fucking late.

”But baby, I want you.” His lips brush against the shell of my ear as he shyly whines. He knows I like when he does that and fuck, I’m considering giving in to him just after that. What a few more minutes will do, we’re already late after all. They can’t get angrier than they already are probably.

”You were so sexy just now, telling that girl to get lost was the hottest thing I’ve ever seen. Besides your gorgeous body of course.” Instead of rolling my eyes, they roll back to see the inside of my skull as soon as Jungkook grabs my hips with his big hands and thrust his prominent hard on to grind against my thigh.

The thin material of my leggings is doing no justice as I feel every curve of him perfectly and it shoots a new wave of arousal to drench my core. He’s only half hard but his sweats are doing a bad job at concealing his growing erection. The friction is torturous as it provides a delicious appetizer but can’t fully satisfy our needs, he ruts against my thigh desperately with his brows furrowed in concentration. His hand grabs my left thigh and pulls it up so I can curl it around his tiny waist. The new position allows his fully hard cock to press against my core and his pace picks up, loving how warm I feel under his touch, he could feel my body vibrate with need and it urges his hip to move against my throbbing heat harder and faster bruising my sides to keep me stable against the wall. Both of us pant loud but our moans are quietened to avoid drawing any attention since anyone who peeks over the corner would see us rub against each other like horny teens. His cock is fully hard now and begs for his release. Soft moans are muffled against my shoulder as he bites down to quiet his needy whimpers.

Watching Jungkook enjoy himself when everyone can walk by and see him so worked up is a sinful sight and it makes things appear extra hot maybe that’s why he comes in his pants without warning. It’s the first time he cums this hard from dry humping and he shyly buries his nose into my neck while his face is getting red from embarrassment.

I drag my fingers up and down his spine waiting for his laboured breath to even out. Jungkook melts into my gentle caress as I get his sweaty bangs out of his face. He avoids making eye contact until I place a finger under his chin just like he always does and plants a small kiss onto his bitten lips. It’s good that the changing rooms are not far away from here since we are in need of another shower before we even think about showing up at the cafe. Well, if our friends will be still there as we’re taking our sweet time like Jimin would say each time we’re late to another get-together.

”Are you shy because you came in your pants baby?” The smug smile is prominent on my face and it makes Jungkook bury his face into my chest even more while an annoyed groan leaves his lips.

”Don’t make fun of me. We haven’t seen each other since finals ended and I..” The vulnerability in his gaze catches me off guard once he looks up but my eyes soften once he utters the last part of his sentence somewhat shy to admit it but my heart swells with love for him. He’s too sweet.

”I missed you a lot.”

”I’m not. I almost cum in my pants too just from watching you. I love hearing you moan my name Kookie and I missed you too. A lot.” It seems to soothe him as a smile stretches across his face. His hands tighten around my waist but soon withdraws from my embrace to take another shower and I do the same.

This time around we do reach the exit. Jungkook hand is on my leg throughout the drive to the cafe and as expected everyone comments on us being late. Again. But we were able to quiet down the people by paying for today’s drinks and everything fell into place. Yoongi had a bright gummy smile on his face the whole time as he got a chance to thank everyone’s support. He claims that he would have never made it without us even when we tell him that it’s all thanks to his talent and hard work.

”So what about you lovebirds? Do you hate each other yet? Because I lived with Jungkook before and he’s a hot mess.” Yoongi easily changes the topic to us, he always feels shy once he’s in the direct line of praise even though he truly deserves to celebrate his biggest achievements so far in the music industry. As soon as Jungkook cocky smile appears everyone knows that he’s going to talk shit and none of us acts surprised when he drapes a hand around Yoongi’s shoulder to whisper to him seductively.

”Aw, Yoonie thanks. I always knew you thought I was hot. If you had told me this earlier then you might have snatched me away before Y/N did.” Yoongi and I gag at the same time exchanging knowing looks as our Saturday shit talks mostly involve Jungkook and his annoying habits. It’s almost a tradition now that Yoongi, Jonnie and I hole up in my room and watch romcoms just to pick every little detail apart and if we’re bored with the romance we shit talk the others and drown ourselves in red wine and coke.

I look around the cosy cafe and then at my friends as they bicker what to eat after we get our dosage of coffee (except for Taehyung who likes hot cocoa better) and a fond smile dance in the corner of my mouth watching all the people I love and cherish laugh together. College is ending soon and I couldn’t be happier that I had the opportunity to meet with these amazing people along the way. With them, by my side, the outside world doesn’t seem so scary anymore. Jungkook sees the faraway look in my eyes and squeezes my hands under the table silently telling me that he’ll always be next to me. We might go in different directions after graduation sneaks upon all of us considering that Seokjin finished it and Yoongi and Namjoon are at their last year that leaves me, Jungkook, Jimin and Taehyung will still be there.

There’s an incoming call from Hoseok and everyone pushes their cheeks together to greet the boy excitedly. He transferred after he got into a dance program so he’s currently overseas. His bubbly personality is truly appreciated as we don’t get to spend enough time with him when he comes home but it’s alright.

Everyone is getting busier and our move in together with Jungkook was a last-minute decision as both Yoongi and Namjoon will move out after the year ends. Our lives go on but it’s alright because we have each other no matter what.

END

#btsghostie #fuckboy jungkook #fuckboy training #jeon jungkook #jungkook #jungkook smut #jungkook fic #jungkook fanfic #jungkook fanfiction #bts fic #bts fanfic #bts fanfiction #fuckboy au #bts fuckboy au #fuckboy bts #bts smut #jungkook x oc #bts uni gym club au #bts university au #bts fluff #jungkook fluff #bts series

[ephemerlskies]

constant craving 04 (final) | jjk

⇢ pairing: jungkook x reader

⇢ genre: “drabble” series, best friends to lovers au, slight angst, FLUFF, bestfriend!au, unrequited love, smarter idiots but still idiots all the same

⇢ word count: 6.8k

⇢ warnings: explicit language, mentions of alcohol, excessive drinking (drink responsibly), pining, jungkook is an overdramatic baby, a surplus of feelings (i am disgusted with myself), one (1) fire hazard

⇢ summary: with the Friendiversary approaching quickly, both you and Jungkook have an array of trials to navigate through. and, as Seokjin gets caught in the crossfires, you must finally make a decision that will define how the rest of your life will unfold. 

♪ playlist: constant craving - k.d. lang, bad religion - frank ocean, misunderstood - lucky daye, neu roses - daniel caesar ♪

╰ series index: 01 | 02 | 03 | 04 (final)

a/n: wow.... so bitches really call this a drabble series then write a 6 thousand word finale... its me im bitches... anywho, i really love the way this played out!! jungkook had to hit the bottom to start rising to the top and it shows. also, the ending is like....... hehe well ill just let you all see for yourselves. enjoy my lovely readers! this wrapped up such a heartfelt series that is so dear to my heart. thank you all for the support for this! and i might whip up a few drabbles simply because i think this relationship is really cute hehe ok... happy reading! <3

part four: i love you too

Carrying that music box in his pocket felt like a well-deserved and all too grim reminder of what went down a few days ago. Sitting drunk yet again, though one would best describe Jungkook’s posture as more of a sloven pile of flesh and bones withering away on a bar stool, he searched for the wallet which was in one of his four pockets.

He reached for the wrong one. Instead of the faux leather skimming his skin, it was a solid wood corner pricking the pad of his index finger. It stung more than it should have. Perhaps he'd gotten a splinter, or the top layer of his skin was simply too raw from all the wear and tear of your fight. Jungkook wasn’t one to jump at such negligible shocks, but it sank him back into that night. It wasn't the wooden corner at all.

You loved him. You still love him.

That's what you said. That's what nearly put him on the floor instead of in his chair, and what had been preying on his mind as if he were no different than a helpless animal drowning his regrets in whiskey. And he knew he should have said it back. 

Jungkook theorized ways to defy the cruel restraints of time, and if the universe would be so kind as to allow him to travel back to that day in middle school when he happened upon a scared, flush-faced student running so fast and panicked that they bumped into each other, just to be the one who said 'I love you' first. Or those genies and shooting stars and blessed fountains that supposedly granted wishes; he would pay no hesitation to plead with whatever deity would listen and permit his most prioritized desire. 

The retrospective bargaining remained a ghost haunting just about every waking moment of his life. Though, he had not been quite sure if said ghost was some cosmic sent presence or simply his own guilt. If regret took on physical ramifications, then Jungkook would have been convinced that was why he felt as if his legs wouldn't have been able to carry him even if he tried.

If I could just go back to that night with the knowledge I know now, I would have hauled my ass to your house instead of that club and told you that my choice was made for me the moment I met you. Every other person I ended up with these past twelve years was simply a buffer for loving you. I had to prepare myself, because loving you was something entirely too tremendous for a boy still grappling with his own faulty speech pattern to assume.

I wish you knew that. I wish I didn’t stand there like an idiot and let you leave, thinking me some hero for finally letting this new guy Seokjin take the place I had always imagined being in. I wish I had just said that I love you.

I love you.

I love you, ___.

Jungkook’s vision resembled that of a smudged lens. However, there were no fingerprints on his eyes. The world had turned blurry and colorless, the latter he knew was not due to the sixth order of whiskey he let soak into his heart’s open wound. 

A life of color was one of the many things that left when you did.

He didn’t know it then, but Jungkook was being fervently dramatic since it had not been more than seventy-two hours the last time he spoke to you. Thought to him, it was akin to being just short of death and taking another breath would have been an expense he wasn’t sufficiently funded to pay. 

Whatever happened in the interim of him paying his tab and walking out onto the sidewalk must have landed somewhere in the blacked out stretches of his inebriated memory, since he was now staring at your contact gleaming on his phone bearing the semblance of one guardian angel.

It was so ingrained into his routine. Opening the app with the phone icon, clicking the ‘recent’ tab, and finding your name no further than three contacts down the list because he called you as if he had important things to tell you, though normally it was just to hear your voice or to tell you about what he had for lunch. And it nestled into his muscle memory as natural as it was for him to breathe or blink. Even when alcohol debilitated his driving, walking, and thinking, his body was drawn to seek a haven such as yourself. And he nearly pressed ‘call’.

Before the comfort of your voice could ring through to his phone, reality descended upon that reflex. Right now, you were probably with Seokjin, attending some pretentious art gallery for one of his colleagues.

It was just Jungkook and the night sky and the moon that he hoped you were gazing at too; it would be the only connection to you as of now. The moon, a parcel for the most longing gazes.

There are stories where the two protagonists get it right. This was not that story. That reality stung more than the residual burn of whiskey clinging along his throat.

Both you and Jungkook made every wrong decision possible. From the moment you subjected yourself to exploiting the veneer of being a ‘good friend’ to disguise any true feelings that might have taken light, to the moment Jungkook was presented with all the excruciatingly obvious signs that you were in love with him, but was simply too inept to notice, to the both of you neglecting any urge threatening the bounds of platonic. Any path that would have steered to a destination where you two would get that happy ending was conveniently untaken.

And you had a long journey riddled with heartbreak after heartbreak to prove it.

He traded his phone with that wooden music box, scuffing the soles of his shoe as he walked back home, hoping he’d be able to give the gift to you on your Friendiversary.

-----

Your pain was still raw. In this way, you had not considered, or rather avoided the idea of tending to such delicate wounds. The days leading up to the infamous anniversary had been spent hoping you would organically heal enough to allow the presence of Jungkook while denying another reopening in your wound.

You had been juggling a not so thrilling number of conflicts the three days preceding that self-acclaimed national holiday.

One, Seokjin and his bottomless supply of invitations that you felt too obligated to refuse. He had such a life packed with plans which is more than you could have said for Jungkook. He, most likely, busied himself with promoting ranks in some obscenely violent video game. Two, a mutual friend of yours had told you Seokjin was fixing to make your relationship official this coming Friday, and you didn’t want to admit the lackluster reaction upon hearing the news was equivalent to receiving a C on a test. It wasn't the worst grade to receive, but you knew there would always be something better than adequacy. Not satisfying enough nor disappointing enough to be dealt with without bending a few expectations. And three, all you really wanted, the only agent of excitability (both good and bad) that diluted the festering numbness in your heart just a tad more, was thinking about seeing Jungkook on your Friendiversary.

But with that excitement, was its equally worrying constituent: whether or not you would be able see Jungkook that day without cracking under pressure.

Things weren’t exactly attuned between the two of you. Your emotional stature had never been more unsynchronized and offkey with Jungkook’s, so, forcing a celebratory movie or dinner would be no different than adding cornstarch to the already thick tension.

“___? Are you listening?” Everything Seokjin had just been droning on about filtered in and out without a single word being absorbed, and you could have pretended this wasn't the case but  stress had apprehended caring enough to lie.

“Sorry… No, I wasn't. I’m just stressed is all.” Since that was only a half lie, self-admonition had not yet taken permanent residency whenever you would look at Seokjin’s eyes offering nothing but genuine tact.

“Oh, sorry to hear! Are you okay? Anything you wanna talk about?” That, and the soft press of his hand over yours had swallowed you into a perpetual, guilty cycle of comparing two incomparable people.

Seokjin was always like this. Serving a gentle smile and honest ears as a vessel of calmness during whatever calamity you were grappling. It was safe knowing if you fell, you’d have a comfortable cushion to soften the impact. He was mindful with his words and had the intelligence to articulate them with impressive eloquence. You were more likely to see pigs fly than to see him stutter. He had a diverse group of friends and walked a steady path to a financially secure life. And you started to wonder what else one would need in a partner? Any sensible person would do much more than you had to snag someone like Seokjin, as handsome as he was kind and respectful. He seemed to have everything Jungkook lacked, including mutual feelings for you.

It would have been entirely too easy to pick him, as if there was a ‘Seokjin’ button and a ‘Jungkook’ button and you could press Seokjin’s on a whim. If choosing him would have meant miraculous nullification of all your very real and very unremitting feelings for that idiot you called your best friend, then you would have done it in a heartbeat.

There wasn't a 'Seokjin' button or a 'Jungkook' button, nor was there a button that would wondrously redistribute your feelings towards Seokjin.

And then there was Jungkook. Always in the back of your mind when he wasn't tenanting the focus of it.

He was never predictable in the ways that mattered. It was just as difficult figuring out his next move as figuring out whether this trait was exciting or exhausting.

Though, this had not been to say you didn’t know him well; in fact, all his habits and preferences and pet peeves could be bound into a book, written by you, and it would be so accurate anyone who read it would think it was an autobiography. He knew you to the same caliber. Where Seokjin would ask what was wrong, Jungkook wouldn’t need to. He already learned your behavior to know to say something along the lines of ‘tell me what’s wrong when you're ready, we can watch your favorite movie or swing by that Chinese place with those great fried dumplings in the meantime’. And on more favorable occasions, he'd say nothing and simply wrap you in his arms and let his shirt become a delta for your tears.

To anyone else, that might sound entirely too frank and perhaps a bit dismissive to be comforting, but to you it was the exact cure for each affliction. To never need explanations that would validate your feelings because Jungkook saw to that right when he took notice; to never manufacture fake smiles through failed attempts at cheering you up since, of course, he knew exactly what to do to vegetate joy in your heart and earn a smile from years and years —and years— of practice. It had almost driven you mad, thinking about how he knew from a shift in your brow what you were feeling and yet, somehow, never realized how deeply in love you were.

All the while, the moment you were convinced you had been versed fluently in his every move, he would pawn another blindsight that would leave you breathless and amazed all the same. Jungkook always had concealed tricks up his sleeve, and life was anything but repetitive with him. You would more often than not find yourself struggling to relearn language and existing itself just to keep up with him. How exactly he managed to wield such diametric facets of being was an enigma beyond the reasoning of this universe.To feel like home, somewhere you belonged outside of your own body, and a daring voyage into a completely new world all at once must have meant he was some sort of Godsend. Only angels could have sculpted a soul so magnetizing, you assumed.

Seokjin was an umbrella, shielding you on some arcane journey under an unforgiving rainfall. Your shoes kept dry and your hair intact.

And if he was the umbrella, then Jungkook was the rain. Falling everywhere and all at once, so that you couldn't help but let yourself be saturated in his entire, vibrant being. And who’s to say letting such a water fall against your skin was a bad thing? Sometimes rain is cleaning, gentle even. They bear fruits as beautiful as rainbows that guide you to an unnamed treasure.

Your treasure, however, had a name.

Jungkook calling.

"___? Hello? You in there?" Seokjin waved his hand in front of your face mostly in a jesting manner, but part of him felt like your eyes were blinded by something held in your heart. If he hadn’t pulled you back into reality, you might have been lost forever.

“I'm just…” Your attention had abandoned this conversation the second his name gave light to your screen. “Sorry, um…”

“It's okay, you can take the call. I’ll be in the kitchen making us some coffee.”

If you were to thank him profusely, it would have been far too obvious how much you missed seeing his name among your notifications, and most likely expose how often you spent thinking of Jungkook while you were supposed to be enthralled with Seokjin. So, you just nodded and answered the phone.

Nodding and answering, as though that didn't feel like taking a breath of clean air after hours of swimming through muddied waters.

“Hello? ___?”

“Jungkook.” It took you longer than usual to form a response and what was assembled had been a half-baked utterance just to let him know you were on the other side of the phone, hearing his voice and feeling a surge of energy course through your veins like he was some delicious narcotic filling life into you after only a week without him.

“___.” Jungkook was in his own debt of words as well. The exchange halted for a few seconds, a jaded breathing cutting the cracked static.

“Look-”

“Hey so-”

Any hope that you had finally caught up to the same page as Jungkook was lost. Now, it seemed you two were reading entirely different books.

“You go.” You said after another dreadful pause. He was the one who called, so he should be the one carrying the burden of navigating through this deafening tension.

“Well, I- uh… I… Well, you see I was just, um, wondering…” Jungkook’s heart must have shut off. That would explain why even the most rudimentary of words felt closer to a foreign language. Or, why he was making conscious efforts to counteract the threat of his nearly dormant lisp.

His brain was drained dry of any blood, his inner mechanisms were shutting down. Even without the alcoholic filter catching words and common sense in its web, Jungkook felt himself fall into an overactive state of dumbfoundedness. Sobriety only a cataract for his emotional override. 

“Our friendiversary?”

“I’m sorry, I did not understand literally anything you just said.”

“Me neither.”

The charming and familiar laugh that spilled through the speaker reminded you that Jungkook was in fact a real person. Not some figmented embodiment of every lost and unrequited and tortuous feeling you had been suppressing for twelve years. Jungkook was real, his laugh and everything else you loved about him were all so incredibly real. And more importantly, the pure joy you felt was real; a permanent serialization of his. Your smiles and his smiles had always surfaced in tandem.

Now, you both were laughing. Neither were warranted by his messy attempt at forming a coherent sentence. The weight of discomfort shedding from your shoulders had been partnered with a slew of relieved chuckles.

“Anyway, um. I- I still wanna see you on our Friendiversary. Or, at least give you your gift.” Admitting that was terrifying but the thought of breaking the consecutive streak of eleven years simply because he was too much of a coward to admit he wanted to see you dizzied him. However, the thought of spending your friendiversary alone terrified him beyond comprehension. So, he thought not about that as a possibility; he carved an opening to his heart in hope you wouldn’t send sharp thorns of rejection into it.

“Yeah, I, uh. I still wanna see you too. I mean, it is a national holiday. We gotta have holiday spirit, right?” You were forcing playful banter, it felt like lemon juice scouring cuts on your tongue, but you were so desperate to make things between you two feel normal.

“You’re right! So, um… You can come over tomorrow night. I’ll set up a surprise or whatever.” He seemed to have fallen back into stride with pre-confession Jungkook. Trying to keep up with him now would just exhaust you of all your means, so you chose to save the rest for tomorrow night. Even if that meant watching him walk away to some unforeseeable finish line; his back, the last part of him you’d see until you could finally collect your broken pieces and start walking as well.

“Sounds good! I’ll, um, see you then.”

“See you, ___.”

You had no idea, and how could you, that Jungkook was now wiping small clusters of wetness from the bed of his eyelids. Why he thought you, the one person that remained a constant in his life, would say no to him over one fight (of many) made for quite the spill of tears. But if you did know, you would have told him you felt like crying too.

"Hey! How did everything go?" You were so immersed in your virtual conversation with Jungkook you nearly forgot the person you were presently with. The train of guilt wouldn't stop for your pathetic attempts at disembarking.

"Oh! Thanks for the coffee." You sipped, and it had just been a stall to blink away the tears that were straying beyond your will of concealment. "It went good. We're still celebrating our Friendiversary."

"Friendiversary?" Seokjin's light chuckle veiled his tense concern.

"Yeah... Uh, it's just this thing we do to celebrate our friendship. The day we met."

"Oh... that's..." His eyes were scaling the rim of his mug.

"That's what, Seokjin?" You were stern, knowing well enough it was born of far more than platonic defensiveness. And you had no right to be the one prosecuting him since you clearly had more to hide than meets the eye.

"I mean, it's just interesting how dedicated you are to an anniversary with a friend." Seokjin wielded that soft-spoken voice which made it difficult to be anything but patient with him. And from the tone of it, he seemed to have no ill intentions with that statement, though it had not been an entirely innocent observation. To you, however, it felt like he might as well have set you on fire.

"Interesting? What is that supposed to even mean? I mean, we've been friends for twelve years. I- I don't know why people are always so judgmental." Your arms crossed over your chest, hoping he would take notice how much his comment slighted you. If asked, you would have insisted you would have been this worked up over any of your friends. Though you knew well enough this was untrue, and it made you feel even worse acting as though Seokjin was the one at fault here.

"I'm sorry. I'm not judging you, really. I just... I just have never heard of two friends doing something like that so religiously."

You sighed out all your anger, knowing the way you snapped at him was merely misdirected frustration. "No, I'm sorry. I know it's kinda weird."

"Look, I get it. You guys are close. But, ___, you talk about him so much that half, no, over half of your stories include him. We've been dating for, what, barely a week now, and I know more about this Jungkook guy than I know about you, and I haven't even met him."

Lips parted, ready to dispatch another slew of defenses to refute all the things he said. It was more disappointing than it was shocking to find nothing but a long sigh emerging. Because he was right. Jungkook has been interwoven so thoroughly in your last twelve years that if you only told the stories without him in it, then it would be the least accurate and nondescript retelling of your life. Fragments of an unfinished novel. It would miss the most crucial pieces, entire chapters, of your story.

You would have been presenting a shell of you, hollow and one dimensional. All the inner parts of you, the lungs and veins and tissue that gave you life and made you whole belonged solely with Jungkook.

That's why you sat there, blank faced, foolishly waiting for the words that wouldn't come to your aid because you had no place to contend with him.

"Seokjin... I'm with you..." It's all that would come up your throat, and it felt like acid. You were sure it burned his ears when he heard them more than it had your throat.

It hadn’t even been partially true. Physically you were with him, but in your head you were sitting on your couch with Jungkook, consuming a concerning amount of junk food while chatting through a movie used more as background noise than entertainment.

"Okay. Does that mean you don't have feelings for him?"

"Well..."

"Can you confidently say you could replace all the time you spend with him with time you would spend with me?" Seokjin must have noticed your returning tears because he loosened his verbal grip from your throat. To you, it sounded like he was pacifying you for some horrible sin, to anyone else it sounded as though he was simply trying to dredge up feelings that would disrupt the chance of a relationship between you and him. "___, I like you. I really do, but in all honesty, I'm looking for something serious. I think we would be great together, but only if you don't have any feelings left for him."

"Seokjin..." You regretted looking at him.

Sweetness was strewn in his eyes and gentle smile. Seokjin was softer than cotton, which made the real threat, the rough sandpaper wearing away skin and bones, you. It made it all the more painful to know you had been keeping everything you felt for Jungkook hidden from Seokjin. Though, if one would have presented an objective point of view, your feelings were far from secretive. And the most brutal honesty was that you knew feelings for Seokjin were never in your attainability. Not the way they always had been for Jungkook.

He was the wrong person who crossed paths with you at the right moment. A mere convenience. And you knew he deserved much more than what you had to offer.

"And maybe I'm being an idiot, but I like you too much to give you some ultimatum which would put you in such an unfair position. So, I'll let you think this over." His compassion felt more like a sharp blow to your chest. “No pressure.”

If he hadn’t smiled like he did, then you would have broken up with him right then and there. It was not possible to rip away such tender hope away from a smile so sweet.

"I'm sorry." You meant the remorse behind those words and it still hadn’t amounted to a proper consolation. "I'm sorry. I guess... I guess I'll go... Seokjin?”

“Yes?” He replied quickly, and you knew only a pace that rapid was one brought on by a sliver of faith that you might have made your decision right then.

“You’re a really great person. You deserve the world.”

Unfortunately, you couldn’t give him what he wanted. And as bitter and unkind as that might have felt at the moment, it was the only bit of truth and relent you could have offered him.

-----

In your bed, sleep became somewhat of an abstract desire. You knew your rest was deprived from you when the digital clock on your bedside told you it was six hours past the time you'd normally fall asleep. It was because you really did have a choice to make now.

To choose Seokjin, and know you'd collapse in the safety of his reciprocated affection, though haunted by how you would never feel the fullest extent of content. And you would live with that until resentment and distance wedged irreversible damage in your relationship.

Or, to choose Jungkook, which would catapult you into a depth so dark and tenuous that you would have no idea whether you'd meet gentle snow or hard, deadly concrete when you landed. And maybe you'd never land at all; maybe you would be caught in a state of falling down and down forever, until your beating heart eventually stilled.

Which one was worth it? Which were you willing to risk? These were the questions that kept you awake.

The hours leading to your undisclosed celebration events with Jungkook ceased being actual points of your existence and merely obstructions that you had to plow through in order to arrive at some conclusive moment. Something that might give you an answer to all your questions. Something that might have released you from devotedly checking your phone for a Jungkook patented text or call.

You were turning into a half-being. Someone who could only inhale a full breath, laugh an intentional laugh, and sleep a soundless sleep when their other half was there.

If you thought being in love with Jungkook for your entire friendship was pathetic, then you couldn’t fathom what you had become now.

Standing in front of his door, the same one you lugged him to that night he was too drunk to balance on his feet, when you willingly carried all the weight he couldn’t, when your lips became acquainted and comfortable with his within half a beat, you felt as if this chunk of wood was mocking you. A partition barricading you from Jungkook. Your Jungkook. The man you always felt you were on the outskirts of, with only a window to peer into his unreadable mind. And that was enough for you ―until now.

Now you were going to knock on that door with your hand, make him open it for you, and walk into his home. You would be the one to step foot inside of the very structure that only solicited closed doors and immovable walls and fogged windows. And you would leave behind your timidity, every feeling and urge that left you with disappointing compromises for the sake of maintaining this friendship.

You would be selfish, and he would finally feel a mere glimpse of what you have always felt for the best and worst of your life.

Even when he opened the door, arming a smile that actively disarmed you, this home of his was yours to conquer. This was your time to act for you alone, despite how many smiles he sent your way. You had not any weapons or shields or an infantry for a clutch. You just had your heart and all the love it carried. 

“Hey! ___, you look… You look great.” There was no real incentive for him to censor how he truly thought you looked. Immeasurably beautiful. It was simply his own nerves impeding on the feelings that were too intense to express without it being followed by an entire soliloquy of I love you’s.

“Thanks... You too...” You could almost feel the words brimming in your and Jungkook’s mouth, carrying such raw emotions and longing intentions.

"I'm really glad that- Jungkook..." Walking into his house punctuated what you were about to say.

His living room was strewn with enough candles to steal the last of your words and to consider his house a fire hazard. That didn't negate this lovely sea of lights to be anything but romantic and thoughtful. A bit cluttered, and not at all perfect, but it must have taken Jungkook hours to set up every wax column. The thoughtfulness of this gesture would have astonished you had it not been for the consistency of Jungkook snatching your breath and words away whenever he tried. It was antithetical, the way you expected his surprises. Yet, always surprised all the same.

Unpredictable, completely surrounding you just like the rain.

"I had to turn off my fire detector but... Worth it." Jungkook considered the number of mishaps that could have dampened any chance of this being romantic.

A candle could tip over and set his entire place ablaze, the wax could leak onto his carpet and tabletops, damaging his furniture and savings for replacements, you and he could have suffocated from all the fumes steaming from the wick. But if that look on your face didn't feel like the only bit of revival to keep his heart's steady beating, if your eyes didn’t look as though it was the only set of eyes that shed beauty into this world then he wouldn't have used up exactly three lighters to pull this stunt. But it did, and he felt warmth and color return to every inch of his body.

He would have used hundreds of lighters to ignite thousands of candles if that meant an ounce of happiness from you. He wanted to say that, but he knew the candles said it for him.

The spectacle almost made you forget why you were here in the first place. It almost made you forget the resolve you managed to gather before entering. And then he said your name.

"___."

The letters flowing from his lips as if they could only be pronounced by his tongue. It sounded so good. So good, that if anyone else were to say it then it wouldn't have been your name at all. It would have sounded wrong, sullied. And it wasn't supplied by neat articulation, this new belonging of your name in his mouth. The need for him to sculpt your name into this world was more than that. "I will never forgive myself if I don't get this out while I still can."

"Jungkook, what is all this?" You didn't know why you felt a collection of tears brimming along your eyes, but you didn't care to figure it out. Perhaps you felt an influx of feelings, an abundance too heavy for your body to seal within the confines of your emotional seams, so they overflowed in the form of tears. This certainly had not been the first time you cried over Jungkook, but you had never cried over him like this.

"___, I love you!" Jungkook said loudly. It was just you and him who could hear, but it felt as though he wanted the entire world to know.

"What? I- You- What?" Your lack of verbal poise was indicative of your love for him once again taking the reins of your mind and heart. Words were a luxury you couldn't afford as of now. You just had to feel everything you were feeling until the rainstorm settled. The hope that he would spare you some remnants of fluency was far along, and you weren't too sure if what Jungkook was about to say would be gentle enough to leave you with any words at all.

"I love you. I don't know why I didn't know it sooner. Or maybe, I- Maybe I did know?" Jungkook sighed at his own ineloquence. "I'm stupid! That's it. That's my only excuse. I'm so stupid. The way I felt about you, the way I still feel about you, is something I thought all best friends had. I thought everyone felt like the moments they weren't spending with their best friends just felt like filler moments. Like, every day I spent without you was just a span of time I had to wait out until I see you again. Like every damn moment of my life is spent waiting for you. And if I don't end up with you then... then I'll never stop waiting."

"Jungkook, I-" He prevailed in surprising you, taking words and breath and thoughts all at once.

"And, I'm that stupid! I really thought all best friends had those moments when they stare at you, and- and-" Now, you weren't the only one with wet eyes and cheeks. "And I just feel like looking at you and being with you just makes me better. It makes me a better person, or something, and it makes me feel like... Like I'll never get hurt again. And even if I do get hurt, I know it's you I want to be there. I know that whenever something bad happens to you, or when you feel like crying or when you're happy or angry or anything that I want to be the one who gets to be by your side. When I look at you, all I want is to love you. To love all your pain away."

"You really mean that?"

"Yes! God, I love you." You didn't notice how it happened, but Jungkook's arms became a shield around you. Inside his arms you were indestructible. Your hands pressed against his cheeks, memorizing the plush, smooth skin. The world could hurl all the fire and ice it had, but it wouldn’t matter. "___, I'm so sorry. I'm sorry it took me so long to figure it out. I'm sorry that in that period, I hurt you. Please, forgive me. I love you, and I want to be with you."

"Of course, I forgive you. I... I can't believe this." Hearing everything you always wanted from him was drastically different when it was actually unfolding. It was a million times more than any hope or dream you used as a salve for your longing. It was everything.

"Maybe it took so long because I was afraid. Because the idea of loving you was something I wasn't ready for. Even though I did love you, God, who was I to take on something as fragile and crucial as loving you. I know I probably would have messed it up. And, fuck, maybe I'm messing it up right now. But I just needed it to be perfect. I needed loving you to be perfect because I don't want to give you anything less than that."

"You were always enough for me, Jungkook. More than enough. You were and are everything to me" His arms that pressed you further into him expressed how happy that made him. 

"But I'm not perfect yet. I might mess up... A lot. No, I'll definitely mess up. I don't know if I can offer you perfect yet. But I do know that through everything I have never stopped loving you and I will never stop loving you."

"Jungkook... I don't know what to say." Your thumb grazed a falling tear from his face. Jungkook had not cried often in front of you; and you could tally up the amount of times he had on your fingers alone. But when he did, it was still as beautiful as when he was smiling or laughing or even scowling.

"You could say you love me back." You did. You loved him, his smile that was currently on a mission to melt your heart, his arms that carried both the good and bad parts of you, his wit that you always relished in. All the reasons to love him were an endless flowing river. If you were lucky enough, you would catch a glimpse of each beautiful current and be able to give name to the gravity that pulled you into him.

"I love you too, you idiot." The last word caught in your throat because your lips were being kissed instead.

His lips. Warm and exciting, allotting your being with an infinite devotion of his. And it was more than you could have ever hoped for.

It felt like fire. Like a grove of candles encapsulating the origin of heat. You and Jungkook, holding each other so close, you could have become one. Hot and all-consuming of anything in its path. If one stood too close, they would suffer scorching embers that stray from the orange pyres. Seokjin, Irene, and any other unassuming casualty that had the misfortune of stepping between the two of you, harboring the burn scars to remind them of what fumed from their interference.

Every element concocting between you and him was that of a bright flame, cremating pure metals and wet woods and thick forests alike.

You were in his home. His arms and lips and hands told you it was your home as well. All that time spent wondering why you could never slip inside before was never because he didn't want to let you in. And the thing is, you never thought to knock until now. You sat outside in a silenced hope that he would voluntarily open that door for you. But unknown to you, Jungkook seemed to be waiting as well. Waiting in a large room with empty spaces where you belonged and where he kept reserved for your residence alone.

He waited even when he wasn't quite sure of who he was waiting for, or if you would ever actually spill your warmth into his home. He waited until his fingers turned to ice and his eyes fell to exhaustion, for you to walk inside.

"So, you're like my boyfriend now?" Your voice brushed against his smiling lips.

"Yeah, your boyfriend, or whatever."

"You know this means you have to top next year's friendiversary. And I mean, all these candles? That's gonna be tough." It could have counted as sensory overload, the feeling of his palms flush against your back, the tip of his nose grazing yours, the bright array of candles illuminating the room. But you were so, incredibly cold without him that this felt like solace to you.

"When have I ever disappointed you?" Jungkook regretted what came out of his mouth too late to stop himself from saying it.

"Oh, I couldn't count the amount of times on my fingers alone! What about that time you forgot our chains for the tires on our trip to the mountains? We almost died." His eye roll only encouraged you to continue. Maybe, if you were lucky, he'd equip that cute pout whenever he wanted his way. "Or what about when you swore you brought water, but three miles in on our hike you had that look on your face. You know I reminded you to get water and you swore you did. Or what about-"

"Okay! I get it! I fuck up, jeez." He scrunched his nose, his eyes waning into crescents courtesy of that grin of his. You counted the number of wrinkles along the bridge of his nose as you always did, though you had acquired an expertise in the geography of his face. Each line and angle and ridge were now and eternally yours to restudy and marvel. "Hey, uh, almost forgot."

He reached into his front left pocket. "I, um, kept carrying it around thinking I'd see you somewhere. Kinda dumb right?"

"Not dumb." You opened the tiny box, wound the handle until the spring felt tight and you could see the throngs prick the textured wheel, and it was one of those moments where you didn't see a gift in your hand. You simply saw his thought and sentiment manifested as a box of wood that sung a tune.

All the things Jungkook wanted to give you, the sun and the moon and the entire universe were not his to give. So for now, he settled for this music box and there would be a day when he would collect each celestial being and place them right into your hands. Maybe then, he would feel less of a debt for possessing such a love like yours.

"This is... I love it. Thank you, Jungkook." You smiled, but it was motivated in the hopes he would smile back. You thought he deserved that much, at least. And he did.

"Sooooo... Can I tell Seokjin that you're actually in love with me and that he sucks ba-"

"Um, absolutely not!" As always, his crudeness and slight inability to remain mature for too long only wedged you deeper in love.

So, terribly in love. Your state of constant craving for Jeon Jungkook had been left barren. That desolate, solitary province was no longer yours to take residence in.

You had a home now. And you had no need to crave Jungkook anymore. He was right here, holding you.

“I love you.” 

“I love you too.”

a/n: okay, cry with me.... these two.... such hopeless saps for each other i'm here for it. final destination is simp city... also (spoiler) it is completely canon that irene and seokjin bond over their mutual heartbreaks and get to smitten hehehe. anyway, my loves i hope you enjoyed this finale as much as i enjoyed writing it!!! it was a short but heartfelt journey with these two and i will miss their idiocy sm. thank u for your endless support i love u all!!! <3

#bangtanarmynet #ficswithluv #btsgoldnet #bts fanfic #bts x reader #bts angst #bts fluff #bts writing #jungkook x reader #jungkook fanfic #jungkook bestfriend!au #jungkook angst #bts series #jungkook bestfriendstolovers!au #jungkook series #constant craving #rubycoast

[aomineavenue]

Homesick (Miya Atsumu x f!Reader) | 007. realizations

Summary: Six years ago, L/N Y/N wouldn’t exactly say that she loves her life. It had always been problematic but her best friend, Miya Atsumu, since she was eight when she moved to Hyōgo, has always been there for her, and she wouldn’t change it for the world. However, things would always fall apart for her ever since, so she should have expected of such. Running away from her problems seemed like the easiest route to take at the time, so what happens when the past comes barging back into her life demanding answers? Will she be able to confront her demons?

Pairings: Miya Atsumu x f!Reader

Updates: irregular.

Genre: Angst, ANGST I LOVE ANGST, a lil bit of fluff here and there.

Warnings: Language, etc. (Will be mentioned once posted because I don’t want spoilers huehue)

Disclaimer: I do not own any characters except for the reader and my ideas. I do not claim any images used for content in this fic, everything goes out to their respective creators unless it is mentioned that it is mine.

Status: ongoing. | series masterlist

↩ dinner disaster | realization | chapter seven bonus  ↪

mia’s note(s): 

another easter egg found here! can you find it? 

i’m so excited because we’re almost done. remember how i said it’s 12 chapters? well, i’ve shortened it ok lmao dont be mad but homesick is almost over hehe 

i would just like to personally thank @newfriendjen​ and @hqstuffsforme​ bcoz they literally give me the motivation I need to continue writing lmao

The model scrunches her features up in annoyance, puffing her cheeks as if she were a child being deprived of sweets. She flickers her attention over to you, her jaw clenching at the mere fact a woman was seated next to him. “Excuse me.” 

You arch an eyebrow, noticing her glowering towards your direction. “Me?” 

“Yes, you.” she answers, her eyes betraying the smile she had on, “I believe you’re in my seat.” 

The past few weeks had been exhausting for him, and it wasn’t because of their intense training for upcoming games. His exhaustion’s source was mainly from the most recent important events, it took a toll on him emotionally. While this may be true, he understands there wasn’t anyone to blame but himself. The anger still existed somewhere in his mind, displeasing him whenever his thoughts reminded him of the chances he had lost to take care of his kids at a much younger age, but he had tried his best to subdue those particular emotions ever since that night. Chaotic as it was, it took him a step closer towards the realization of what he really needed to do. All he needed now was a little shove.

“‘Tsumtsum!” he hears her screech, the muscles around his shoulders grow tense. The irony of it all, just as they were discussing that horrendous memory of the Christmas Party just last December that he had tried his best to eradicate from his brain due to his own embarrassment, he couldn’t believe the model in question had instantaneously emerged out of thin air. What was she doing all the way here in Kanagawa? It was as if he had no escape from her suffocating clutches. A quick glance towards his brother and he recognizes the criticizing features sewn on his twin’s features and all he could do was share a silent communication, pleading for his aid. 

Out of all the times this woman could appear, she appears at the very moment where he was sort of, trying, to redeem himself. Silently, he prays as she snakes her arms around his neck, that you, settled next to him, wouldn’t conclude anything from it, but who was he kidding? The position itself was sufficient evidence for you to come up with the conclusion he’s dreading. He can sense everyone’s eyes on him, the irritation they were radiating for such disruption. As she releases another infuriating squeal, this time an inch away from his ear, he pries her hands away from his neck and wraps his fingers around her wrist to pull her to the side. 

Her lower lip juts out to a pout as she stands by the table, ignoring the dirty look he was directing her way. “What’s wrong ‘Tsumtsum? Did you not like my surprise?” 

“Surprise?” he disputes, his brows furrowed in confusion as he releases his grip from her wrist, displeasure evident in his tone as he spoke. “Don’t tell me you were stalking me, Yumi.”  

She folds her arms across her chest and lets out a scoff of disbelief escape her lips, “You make it sound as if I’m not your girlfriend or something!” 

“Well, you aren’t.” he argues, a sigh of frustration escaping his lips, “We’ve talked about this. We’re not together and how did you know I was going to be here anyway?” 

“That’s some serious stalking there, Yumi-san.” Hinata quips from his seat innocently, the other individuals around the table attempt their best to contain their sniggering at the sight of the model going red in the face from both anger and embarrassment. 

She releases a grunt from her lips, sending a glare towards Hinata’s direction before turning her attention back at him, flashing him an innocent smile. “I don’t care what you say, we’re dating. You can’t just drop me like that. What we have is something special, you love me right? You never really said it before, but I know you’re just being shy, ‘Tsumtsum, it’s o—” 

“Please,” He interjects, “Drop it. We’ve discussed this already, Yumi.” 

The model scrunches her features up in annoyance, puffing her cheeks as if she were a child being deprived of sweets. She flickers her attention over to you, her jaw clenching at the mere fact a woman was seated next to him. “Excuse me.” 

You arch an eyebrow, noticing her glowering towards your direction. “Me?” 

“Yes, you.” she answers, her angry eyes betraying the smile she had on, “I believe you’re in my seat.” 

“Yumi!” Atsumu hisses, pushing himself to stand from his seat. “Stop this, right now. We’re trying to have a quiet dinner.” 

Clearing your throat, you avoid the model’s glare as you stand yourself, “I think I’m full, and I’d like to return to the hospital. She can have my seat.” 

“Wait, what?” Reiji chokes, sharing a panic glance over to his current partner in crime across from him. “But we haven’t even gotten to the main course,” 

Yumi squeezes her way towards your seat after pulling you away from where you stood with abrupt force, a happy squeal leaving her lips as she occupies the seat you sat on seconds ago, she turns to look up at you, a smug smile evident in her features, “Safe travels.” 

“Enjoy the rest of your night, everyone.” you bid, bowing your head slightly before your feet take off towards the exit of the restaurant. 

“Good riddance, if you ask me.” Yumi scoffs with a wave of her hand to capture everyone’s attention. She claps her hands together excitedly as she looks up at Atsumu, “I missed you so much, ‘Tsumtsum! You never bring me to dinners with your friends, this is so exciting for our relation—” 

As Reiji was practically seething from the side like a predator ready to pounce an attack towards its enemy for disrespecting his best friend like that, and from the sudden thought of regret entering his mind of how he shouldn’t have trusted Atsumu for not doing anything. However, such thoughts were crushed almost instantly at the sight of the furious glare Atsumu was sending over to the model that was seated uninvitedly on your seat. 

The sight of a furious Atsumu was enough to send a chill through her spine, as she was about to try to soothe the volleyball player by reaching out for him, he slaps her hands away which causes her to whimper, jutting her lower lip out to pout. “What did I do?” 

“Are you serious, Yumi?” he snaps, nails burying into his palms to restrain his growing irritation, “I can’t believe you would do that.” 

“Why does it matter?” she whines, trying to reach out for him once again, only to fail as he steps back further, “Are you serious right now? Who was that bitch anyway?” 

Reiji interrupts, his voice full of venom from behind the model, “I’d watch your tongue if I were you.” 

“Whatever,” she stutters, attempting to look unfazed by the singer’s words by rolling her eyes but her quivering posture radiated otherwise, “She shouldn’t matter, ‘Tsumtsum, let’s just continue dinner.” 

“What are you? A child?” Osamu intrudes, not able to hold back his tongue any longer from this model’s personality, “Stop calling my brother such a horrendous nickname like a squealing pig.” 

An offended gasp escaped her lips, glowering towards Osamu, “He likes it when I call him that, so sucks to be you! And I’m not a child, I’m a fully grown woman.” 

“Could have fooled me,” Asuma mutters underneath his breath. 

Yumi lets out a grunt. “Tell them, baby. You like it when I call you—Where are you going?” 

He doesn’t spare her a glance, weaving his way through the restaurant to run after you, “I hate that nickname.” 

Before Yumi could stand up and follow after him, her path was blocked by the other individuals around the table who had stood up the second they realized Atsumu’s plan of action. “What are you doing? Let me through! You’re all going to regret this!” 

Yumi’s screech was the last thing Atsumu heard as he steps out of the restaurant, a part of him feeling bad for his friends being left to deal with Yumi’s ridiculous antics and well, for the other people in the restaurant that might have had their ears traumatized. He never really understood what he saw in her in the first place, it was Yumi who had approached him in the beginning anyway. He should have listened to Osamu instead. 

He looks around frantically, wanting to be able to catch up to you. He needed to talk to you, to apologize for Yumi’s behavior. He was just hoping that, somehow, he still had a chance to fix things with you. Hopefully, Yumi’s appearance hadn’t ruined those chances. 

He catches a glimpse of your retreating figure walking towards the nearest bus station and he feels his heart soar, you haven't gone too far yet. He doesn’t waste any more time than he already has, sprinting towards your direction, calling out your name.

At the sound of his voice, your name rolling off of his tongue in desperation, you turn your head to look back with confusion. He reaches you almost instantly after you pivot your body to face his direction. Despite looking flustered as he catches his breath, he takes your breath away. 

“Oh, sorry.” a feminine voice interrupts his train of thought through memory lane, causing him to turn around, startled, “I didn’t realize someone was already occupying the balcony.” 

He lets out an awkward laugh, shaking his head, “No, it’s okay. It’s not like I’d stop you, I don’t own the space or anything.” 

“So you don’t mind if I share your space? The party inside is kind of suffocating.” she lets out a sigh, avoiding his gaze sheepishly. 

“I don’t mind at all,” he nods, tearing his gaze away from her as she steps out onto the balcony. He returns his gaze over to the buildings of Shinjuku, the different bright hues from various buildings painting the night sky.

“Penny for your thoughts?” 

He hums softly, lifting the cold bottle of Sapporo up to his lips to take a quick sip. He lets out a sigh, “Just some stuff, it’s nothing really.” He turns to look over at her when she steps towards the edge of the balcony near him, “Wait, aren’t you Tobio-kun’s sister? The sports journalist?” 

She lets out a laugh with a nod of her head, “Yeah, I’m glad I’ve made a name for myself then for some of the players here to recognize me. Though, I don’t think I appreciate being known as Tobio’s sister, not that I’m not proud of my brother or anything.”

“Ah, sorry. I didn’t mean to.” he states sheepishly.

She shakes her head, offering him a small smile. “It’s okay, no worries. You realize the party is inside, don’t you? I think I heard Bokuto-san looking for you or something.” 

“I suppose I’m not really in the mood right now,” he mutters underneath his breath, looking back up ahead. “Not really in the right mind space. I don’t really know why I’m telling you this, you’re a journalist.” 

She pouts, “I’m not as bad as those gossiping sharks. I prefer to actually produce worthy news. Speaking of news, you’ve been everywhere lately. I suppose it’s hard for you. I wouldn’t know what to do with myself if that happens.” 

“I don’t mind it,” he admits, his forehead creasing.

“Pardon?” 

He lets out another sigh, shifting his position so his back is leaning against the railing of the balcony, “I don’t mind it. I just wish she was left out of things. She doesn’t deserve such slander.” 

“I suppose the woman associated in the news with you actually means something to you then,” she muses, “I always thought that model Yumi was irritating. I’m sure her fame will fly out the window sooner or later.” 

He lets out a scoff of irritation, taking another swig of the beer in his hand, “Don’t even remind me of her.” 

“She’s not really well liked either,” the journalist beside him snickers, “Don’t worry about it too much, you’ll grow wrinkles. Say, Miya-san, do you love her?” 

He’s startled by the direct question, if it were not for his tight grip around the beer bottle, it would have slipped from his fingers and came crashing to the floor. No one, not even his brother, had asked him such a question. He never really thought about it, but ever since that night, you were all he could think about. “It’s complicated.” 

“A lot of things are complicated.” she starts, tilting her head back up to look at the dark sky from the penthouse balcony, “There will always be complications, you know. But, do you know what’s the bright side of it?” 

He turns his head to look over at her in curiosity, “What?” 

She lets out a heavy sigh, a sad smile forming on her lips. “For each complicated situation we are in, the only person who can deal with such complications, is ourselves. Everything is in our hands. The only question you should be asking yourself is, what is the outcome you wish to have? Then from there, I’m sure you’ll be able to find a solution to your complicated situation.”

“I wish it were that easy,” he frowns, fluttering his eyelids shut as he lets the cold night breeze brush against his skin. 

A laugh escapes her lips, “Nothing is ever easy. Life would be boring if that were the case. But all I can say is, it’s really up to you whether you want to take action or not.” 

A comfortable silence engulfs the two occupants on the balcony, the soft chatter from the V.League Association party almost seemed it were music flowing throughout the large penthouse, the usual busy streets of Shinjuku were quiet as the time flew by, signalling how late it had gotten. 

“Thank you,” Atsumu breaks the silence, a small smile playing on his lips. 

She nods her head, returning his smile with her own, “It’s nothing, really. I may not know what’s really happening, but I know the feeling of being part of a complicated situation. Trust me, I’m having a hard time following my own advice.” 

“I’m sure you’ll—” 

“Am I interrupting something?” 

The two switch their attention over to the man that steps into the comfortable space, Atsumu flickering his gaze back and forth to the woman next to him and the volleyball player that made his appearance. He notes the stiff posture of the woman who had been accompanying him and he comes to the conclusion that it was his cue to leave. “Ah, no Ushijima-san. I believe you’re looking for this one, so I’ll leave you two to it.” 

Before Atsumu could leave the two to talk, the woman calls out his name. He glances back over his shoulder, capturing a glimpse of her encouraging smile. “If you love her, you should let her know.”

He gives her an appreciative smile before stepping back inside of the penthouse, the murmur of a chatter earlier from the balcony becoming more clear and loud. Placing the half-empty bottle of Sapporo down on a surface in the lounging area, he glances over at the digital wall clock. 

An hour until midnight. It would take him at least an hour or so to travel back to Kanagawa from Shinjuku.

Not wasting another second, despite the calls from his teammates, he leaves the party with determination. 

The thin hospital blanket you had requested earlier from a nurse barely gave you any warmth, your body engulfed in a chilly embrace. Not even curling up your body to a fetal position and clinging the white sheets closer gave you any source of heat. 

Letting out a groan of frustration, you push the blankets away and shift your body to a sitting position on the rather uncomfortable armchair provided by the hospital, giving up on sleep for the meantime. Aside from the murmur produced from the air conditioner and the steady beeping of Atsuhiro’s vitals indicating a healthy heartbeat from the monitor, it was too silent for your liking. 

You realize it was almost midnight after a quick glance at the digital clock that rested on the surface of the side table next to Atsuhiro’s bed, and you couldn’t help but let out a heavy sigh. At least Atsuhiro was sleeping peacefully. It had taken a while before he had gotten used to sleeping in another bed that wasn’t his, often waking up in the middle of the night or not being able to sleep at all. 

The sound of shuffling breaks your train of thought and you shift your attention over to your sleeping mother who you insisted occupied the small couch. A little sore back was nothing of an appreciation for your mother’s attentiveness to your sons. She had refused to return back to Hyōgo until Atsuhiro had been discharged from the hospital, and despite it taking awhile since there hadn’t been a suitable donor for him yet, not a single complaint had left your mother’s mouth. 

You couldn’t help but shoulder the burden of the delay on finding Atsuhiro a donor, the past weeks had been hectic and stressful. And if you were going to be honest, ever since that disaster of a dinner, you had been putting off the idea of having the much needed talk with Atsumu. You were just thankful that Atsuhiro’s condition hadn’t worsened since then.

You were, more or else, afraid, of where or how the conversation was going to end. The doubt you had was not just because of your insecurities, but it was also because, since that night, you hadn’t heard from Atsumu himself. You couldn’t blame him, the night had ended in disaster as well, nor was the morning after very pleasant from being bombarded with strings of questions from your friends. 

Fame. 

It was something you never got used to despite your friends being in a boy band for so long. You were now under the spotlight, and what was worse was that after some thorough digging by crazy fans, your sons, your precious sons, had been dragged through mud. However, you were grateful for certain fans, the fans of Galaxy Standard in particular, had defended you without much of a command from their idols. As soon as your name, and your kids, were mentioned, they immediately jumped in to defend you. Bless their souls. 

Although, you still couldn’t believe it yourself of the events that occurred right after you had exited the restaurant, intent on returning to the hospital. 

The already dreadful night takes a turn for the worst, the annoying high pitched shrill being repeated causing you to wince as the woman who had completely ruined, well, a already ruined dinner made her way through the threshold of little sanity that you had left and closed the gap between her and Atsumu by wrapping her arms around his neck from behind where he sat, she was dangerously standing close to you, more so enough for you to maybe stab your chopsticks to her side for her pesky squealing. What is she trying to imitate? A tortured pig? 

You didn't bother to cease your eye roll, this is Atsumu's type? Now, you know you aren't all that amazing or anything and looking at the woman clinging to Atsumu, she looked all around amazing, it was pretty obvious that she was a model. However, the personality she was exhibiting was nowhere near your expectations of the women Atsumu would date. It was overbearing. 

Instead of dealing with such ridiculous antics from a grown woman acting like a child, you decide it was best to find an excuse to leave. As the opportunity presented itself on a silver platter, you took it without any hesitation despite the quiet protests of Reiji from behind you. Exhaustion had left you with little sanity and dealing with someone like Yumi, well, you weren’t having it. 

Saying your polite goodbye, you left without another word, ignoring the pleading looks from your friends. It wasn’t as if you were angry or anything, maybe just a tad on the jealous side when Yumi had introduced herself as Atsumu’s girlfriend, but either than that, you just wanted a quiet night. The rowdy bunch was already enough to drain you, but having to deal with someone like Yumi? Yeah, no thanks. 

Stepping out of the restaurant, you shiver from the rush of cold air that brushes against the exposed patches of skin, making you silently regret not bringing a jacket with you. Instead of dwelling on your silly mistake, you wrap your arms around yourself for your momentary source of warmth, rubbing your exposed arms with your soft palms, it would have to do for the meantime. 

Luckily, you were familiar with the area since you’ve been to the restaurant more times than you can count, that despite not having a ride back to the hospital, you were at least knowledgeable of the area. You began your journey towards the nearest bus stop, knowing it was still fairly early since the dinner hadn’t even progressed that far yet. Somehow, despite being irritated by Yumi's presence, you were grateful for intrusion, at least you would be able to return to Atsuhiro earlier than expected. You’d have to give Shizuma a call once you return to the hospital to check on Atsuhiko. 

Thankfully, the walk to the nearest bus stop was short, because walking in heels was never something you adored, wincing already from the discomfort. You couldn’t wait to take them off for much more comfortable shoes. However, as you neared the bus stop, you hear his pleading shouts of your name and you halt almost instantly. For a moment, you wondered if it were just in your head, but at the sound of shouts mixed with hurried steps grew louder, your heart swells weirdly in your chest. Spinning around, you come to face Atsumu, catching his breath, his hands on his knees. 

“What…?” you mutter under your breath, “What are you doing here? Shouldn’t you be entertaining your girlfriend back there?” 

As he regains his composure, he pushes himself to stand properly, meeting your gaze instantly. His gaze catching your breath in your throat. Mesmerizing. 

“She’s not my girlfriend,” he shakes his head, looking at you with sincerity in his eyes, “I promise.” 

The corners of your mouth tug down to a frown, “Why are you telling me this, Atsumu? It’s fine. You’re not obligated to tell me who you’re dating. Just because we have kids together, doesn’t mean we should fix our shit and get togeth—” 

“I’m sorry,” he interrupts, causing your eyes to widen briefly before your brows furrowed in confusion from his apology. Sensing your confusion, he continues, “I’m sorry for everything. For our shitty past, for not treating you better, for not realizing my idiotic ways. I’m sorry. I’m sorry for a lot of things.” 

You press your lips to a thin line, racking your brain for a response. Well, what were you supposed to say? You had imagined this before, imagined what it would be like when Atsumu apologizes for things, and back then, you would have seen yourself rejecting his apologies, but as you stood there at that very moment, you couldn’t find the anger that you had. Then, you realized. This was Atsumu. 

Your best friend since you were eight years old, the one person that always bothered and teased you to no end, but no matter what, you could never find yourself being mad at him for a long period of time. You were always quick to forgive him. 

“And, I’m sorry for this,” he breaks your train of thought and you wonder what he means for a second, but as he closes the gap between the two of you as he cups your cheeks in his hands, you don’t fight back. 

You let him bring your face closer to his. 

You don’t fight back. 

Not even when his lips had found its rightful place against your own. 

You are pulled from your thoughts at the sound of knocking echoing throughout the quiet room, not realizing how your fingers have found their way against your lips, brushing along its luscious shape, almost as if you were reminiscing the sensation of his lips. 

The sound of knocking interrupts you once more and for a second, you had thought you had imagined it, but as it was repeated a few more times, you began wondering who it might be. After crossing the room in long strides, you slide the door open, eyes widening at the man standing before you.

“I love you.” 

#atsumu x reader #atsumu x you #atsumu imagine #atsumu imagines #haikyuu #haikyuu x reader #haikyuu imagine #haikyuu imagines #hq #hq x reader #hq imagine #hq imagines #hq x you #atsumu miya #miya atsumu #miya atsumu x reader #atsumu miya x reader

[jensungf]

𝐒𝐔𝐆𝐀𝐑 & 𝐒𝐏𝐈𝐂𝐄 ♥︎ 𝐥.𝐣𝐧

summary: sugar or spice? you decide what the ‘s’ in today’s episode of j♥︎smr stands for ;) ft. the pocky challenge gone wrong?

pairing: fem!reader + asmr youtuber!jeno  genre: boyfriend!au + fluff + suggestive content!!!! + some humor cus i think im funny word count: 2.4k  warnings: allusions to sex, making out lol

author’s note: soooo uh first time for everything aka writing sum suggestive hehe thank you mary @neostains for reading over this!!! and @gohyuck for helping make the title!! can you tell i’m whipped for jeno??? bc i definitely can.

“jenooooo,” you flopped over onto your stomach as your eyes followed the outline of boyfriend’s jawline, drinking in every part of his handsome face until you found his eyes. his rimmed glasses were perched on top of his nose as he mindlessly scrolled through his phone, not even bothering to look up. typical, you thought with pursed lips and a side-eye directed at your un-attentive idiot of a boyfriend. “what, baby?”

you sighed, outstretching your body on the bed before rolling over to look at him again. you prop yourself up on your elbow with your head rested in the palm of your hand. “i’m bored,” you whined.

“okay, what do you want to do?” he asked without missing a beat. it was already past noon, and as per your agreement before moving in together, sundays were strictly saved to stay in and relax. but for some reason, you were just itching to get out of bed.

you pondered over your options before exhaling in exasperation. “i have no idea! you figure it out.”

you didn’t even didn’t bother to bat an eyelash when you heard his immediate suggestion to go biking, instead groaning at your boyfriend’s obsession with the pastime. he never liked to leave the house unless it was the gym or going out to do something physical, much to your dismay.

“jeno, as much as i love you and my bike, my legs might give out if i even try to move from our bed,” you huffed, lips jutted out as you glanced down to your legs. goddamn, were they sore.

you groaned externally at the tension in your overworked muscles. you even had trouble getting up to make breakfast today. jeno had awoken to your whimpers of pain as you struggled to walk to the restroom, and instead of asking if you were okay, he had immediately burst out in laughter at your misery. your incessant whines prompted him to carry you back to bed after you finished washing up in the restroom, and he had sweetly brought you breakfast in bed with a side of cuddles to make up for what you deemed was “all his fault.” not that it actually was, but you weren’t going to admit that.

he finally lifted his eyes from the luminescent phone screen to your figure sprawled on the other side of your shared king size bed, his lips curling to a smug grin as he reached over to let his fingers graze your smooth legs. “wow, is my baby that sore?”

“yeah, yeah, whatever mister muscle pig. not all of us have the stamina of a horse,” you sniggered, pouting. you could never understand how strong and built jeno could be despite sharing almost the same diet as you. just your luck.

jeno’s smirk grew as leaned over, his warm breath tickling your ear. his voice dropped down multiple octaves as he whispered, “watch it princess, that’s not what you were saying last ni—“

you suddenly sat up, effectively cutting him as your boyfriend recoils to avoid bonking noggins with you. “wait, i know!” you announce, the sound of your boyfriend’s voice attempt to sound sexy suddenly triggering a lightbulb in your brain.

“hey! i was trying to say something,” he complained, causing you to roll your eyes.

“oh, please, your hormones can wait, big boy.”

he shot you a look of annoyance as you grinned mischievously, crawling over to his side. he gulped as he saw your oversized t-shirt ride up a bit, exposing more of your skin. you leaned in towards him, causing him to drop his phone, as the mere scent of you engulfed his senses. the sultry look on your face and your hot breath fanning against his ear caused goosebumps to prickle throughout every inch of his skin, and his breath hitched.

you whispered, “why don’t we—”

you paused as jeno’s smirk returned, biting his lip in anticipation.

“— do jsmr?” you finished with a laugh.

jeno groaned as his anticipation immediately died down. he shot you an incredulous look. “really, baby?”

“yes! now get your booty up!” you barked, tugging on his biceps to no avail. jeno sighed and bit back a smile before he got out of bed, shuffling his feet across the room. before you could cackle in delight, you felt your body being lifted off of the bed as jeno’s strong arms carried you bridal-style into the corridor. your arms flailed for a split-second before relaxing in his embrace. “show off,” you scoffed as your arms reached to circle around his neck.

he snorted. “aren’t you happy i’m a muscle pig?” you smiled and pressed a sloppy kiss to his cheek.

“my man,” you drawl out sarcastically, squeezing his muscles and poking his chest jokingly.

jeno walked into the living room, carefully setting you down on the couch before heading into the kitchen. “what do you want to eat, babe?” he asked.

“on second thought, i’m actually not that hungry.”

jeno’s head whirled to your direction, “seriously? again?” you laughed at your boyfriend’s raised eyebrows and eyes bulging out of his sockets at your incessant teasing.

“i’m kidding, you can choose.”

jeno mumbled under his breath, “how ridiculous— we just went shopping last week— did jisung eat the ice cream again?” as he looked through the fridge. you couldn’t help but snort at how quickly your groceries had disappeared after a single visit by the boys. he rummaged through the pantry before a small aha! escaped his lips, having found the boxes of pocky you both stashed in the secret compartment of your pantry (yes, secret compartment, because everyone knew how quickly the boys would raid your food the moment they even stepped into the apartment). you decide to set up the camera and tripod, fiddling around and fishing for jeno’s set of microphones and earbuds from the desk.

“hey babe, where did you put the earbuds?” you called out. you bit your lip as you dug through the drawers, struggling to find where you had put your earbuds. “i’ll get it,” he responded.

you returned to the living room and admired your handiwork as you finished setting up the equipment. jeno returns with the snacks and earbuds.

“are you ready?” he asked, and you nodded your head eagerly as he reached over to start the camera, the red light flashing as the timer started.

“hi everyone!” you whispered-screamed, causing jeno to wince away from you. you bit back a laugh at your boyfriend’s anguished face and jeno sighed, continuing. “hi guys, welcome back to another episode of jsmr—“

“plus y/n!” you piped up. “today, we’re going to be doing the pocky challenge!” you announce excitedly despite only whispering.

“wait, what?” jeno’s volume is forgotten, causing both of you to flinch. “shhh, jeno!” you scolded.

he gave you an unamused look. “i wasn’t aware of this though!” he protested. you grinned cheekily before turning to the camera. “surprise! did you guys like his reaction??”

as much as you weren’t a huge fan of being in his videos, you figured it would be fun to let go for once and mess with your boyfriend.

jeno sighed and decided to go along with you, another idea formulating in his head. “anyway— i guess we’re doing the pocky challenge today,” he mumbled disdainfully. you beamed at his words before softly grabbing a box of pocky off the table and showcasing it to the camera. jeno grabs your hand and you both start messing with the packaging before jeno begins to whisper again.

“today we have the strawberry pocky— sorry jaems, this isn’t for you,” said jeno. you both carefully open the box, trying to stifle your laughter as the decibel meter suddenly turns red. you smack jeno as he fails to keep quiet, and he returns the favor by tickling you. thanks to your competitive streak with jeno, you both had decided to dare each other to see who could open it the quietest with the loser having to play overwatch with hyuck. you had easily won of course, skillfully and stealthily opening the box.

jeno begins grumbling, realizing he would have to suffer hours trying to beat donghyuck at overwatch, which unfortunately, happened to not be his favorite video game. “not my fault you suck,” you taunted. he retaliated by extending his hand out to cover your mouth, effectively shutting you up as he turned the camera with his signature eye smile.

you punched his stomach after prying his hand off of you, and glared at him.

“and that, my friends, is why i’m the best at asmr,” you gloat victoriously, pretending to snobbily ignore your boyfriend with a childish “hmph!”  

jeno sighed in defeat. “i let her win, don’t be fooled.” jeno rolls his eyes with a smile.

“nah, that just means he’s whipped for me,” you raise your eyebrows suggestively at your boyfriend. he grins and attacks your sides with tickles, causing you to scream and fight against him as your earbuds fall out. both of you burst into laughter. you squirmed away to no avail as your boyfriend’s strong arms held you back. you both regain your composure before returning your attention back to the camera.

jeno was usually not this touchy on camera, choosing to keep your relationship private, making you silently wonder if he was actually going to upload this. you narrowed your eyes suspiciously as your innocently oblivious boyfrined. he grabs your earbuds and helps you fix your disheveled appearance with jabs about how crazy you looked, leading you to grab a piece of pocky and shoving it in his mouth to get him to shut up.

“anyways, for anyone who doesn’t know what the pocky challenge is— it’s basically a challenge where you have a piece of pocky, and two people eating it from each end,” you explained, voice dropping back down to a whisper.

jeno finishes the pocky and nods, leaning into the microphone to continue, “the first person whose mouth moves off the stick loses. you have to get to the middle first to win. if the participants end up kissing, it is a tie.” he makes a funny face at the camera at the mention of kissing, wriggling his eyebrows as he wrinkles his nose in fake disgust. you slap his arm, sniggering. whoever said he wasn’t funny was blind, you thought in amusement at your boyfriend’s childish antics.

you turn to your boyfriend, your competitiveness igniting a fire in your eyes. “are you ready to lose, babe?” you mock haughtily. you crossed your ears and jutted your chin away from him dramatically.

“only in your dreams, sweetheart,” jeno shot back teasingly, his eyes crinkling.

“hah, you wish.” you position the strawberry-covered biscuit between your lips to firmly secure your end of the stick. you motion for jeno to get closer, as he daintily places the other end of the pocky above his supple bottom lip. you steady yourself by holding onto his broad shoulders, and began by taking the first bite, lips slowly inching towards jeno’s. the air in the room is thick with tension as you stare down jeno’s determined eyes. he was trying his best not to downright laugh at how adorable you were right now, his competitiveness consuming him as he plotted another plan in the back of his mind.

not a sound could be heard throughout the silent room, only the deep breathing and sound of the biscuit being broken into pieces. your body stiffened. you could feel his breath getting closer to yours and smell the slight whiff of his cologne and the laundry detergent despite the strong artificial smell of strawberry. jeno’s gaze was locked on your face, his body unmoving except for his head and mouth, leaning closer and closer to you. you both inched towards one another, and you were almost at the middle, at victory, when—

jeno abruptly bit off a huge piece of pocky before connecting his lips with yours. you pull back in surprise and finish the remaining piece of biscuit before realizing what had happened.

this idiot really just cheated.

you open your mouth to shout at him yet the indignant shrieks on the tip of your tongue are suddenly swallowed by his plush lips pressed against yours. all signs of protest leave your body as you get lost in the sweet taste of your boyfriend. as your hands found purchase in his hair, the earbuds fall out without a second thought, long forgotten. your eyes flutter shut and you melt into the kiss, hands moving down to loop around his neck and rest at his nape.

it felt like jeno knew you like the back of his hand, knowing every one of your weak spots as he cupped your jaw with one hand and traced circles with the pad of his thumb onto your cheek. his hands soon wander to snake under the shirt that you were wearing (which oh so conveniently happen to be his) to rest comfortably against your hips; his touch cool against the warmth of your skin.

you sighed contentedly as you both parted to take a breath of air. after a brief moment, jeno takes another opportunity to reattach his lips, his tongue slipping past your lips to savor the sweetness of the tart strawberry flavor. you part your lips more, simply by instinct, to allow the kiss to deepen, and you can’t help but moan a little. his kisses soon turn needier by the second, with you gripping onto the nape of his neck and with him pulling you into his lap. his tongue explored your mouth with lazy yet languid motions, and you pull away breathlessly.

jeno smirks at your dazed face before he swoops in, not giving you a chance to stay away for long.

“you.” peck. “lose.” peck.

jeno mumbles more incoherent words into your skin, peppering kisses from your lips to everywhere else on your face. he moves down to leave a trail of wet kisses from your jawline to your neck. you tilt your head back to allow him more access to your throat as he begins sucking your skin, his teeth lightly grazing each sweet spot. his fingers dance from your hips down to grab your ass as you grind into his lap more, earning jeno the pleasure of hearing your small whine. you exhale blissfully as splotches of red and purple begin blooming all across your neck.

suddenly the gleaming light catches your attention. you gasp and smack jeno, causing him to pout and halt in his ministrations. “what?” he asks almost irritatedly— only to see you point at the camera.

“oh my god— it’s still rolling!” you shriek.

you cover your red, swollen lips and feel your face turn hot as jeno stares blankly. realization settles in before his mouth drops in shock, ears turning red.

he had forgotten about the camera.

jeno quickly reaches over to shut it off as you stare in horror. he scratches his neck awkwardly as you groan and slump back on the couch. jeno suddenly becomes amused at your reaction despite his embarrassment. as much as he didn’t expect for his little stunt to ruin the competition to go this far, he had to enjoy the fact that he managed to make you go from brimming with confidence to a flustered and unsurprisingly, turned on mess.

“what is it, babe? are you really that embarrassed?” he teased, his crescent eyes gazing in adoration at you.

you turn to look at jeno in shock, your mouth agape.

“jeno, we almost made a sex tape!”

#nct-writers #kwritersworldnet #neowritingsnet #jeno scenarios #nct dream scenarios #jeno imagines #jeno x reader #jeno #nct jeno #jeno fluff #jeno smut #nct scenarios #nct dream fluff #nct dream smut #nct dream crack #leyna writes

[monomas-a-smug-bih]

unexpected comfort (kurapika x reader)

. ⋅ ˚̣- : ✧ : – ⭒ ⊹ ⭒ – : ✧ : -˚̣⋅ .. ⋅ ˚̣- : ✧ : – ⭒

. ⋅ ˚̣- : ✧ : – ⭒ ⊹ ⭒ – : ✧ : -˚̣⋅ .. ⋅ ˚̣- : ✧ : – ⭒

Kurta eyes. The posh man was talking about Kurta eyes.

The bloody anger in Kurapika’s eyes began to seethe and brew again. You tried your best to stop it, though you weren’t sure there was much to do once he’d gotten like that.

You and Kurapika had landed a job together, you didn’t care much for the details since it wasn’t very dangerous for once, and it almost had seemed like a nice night out until now. You had come to be filled in for those you were hired by on the latest information they’d been concerned with, but were much too occupied to come receive it themselves apparently. Although you and Kurapika were both bodyguards, you arrived as a spoiled relative and he kept his position, but as your bodyguard.

“Aren’t they beautiful?”

The man’s voice that was practically selling the eyes of one of Kurapika’s ancestors had brought you back to crude reality of the situation. The bustling energy of the ballroom seemed to muffle as soon as the older man had revealed something of his he shouldn’t have. At least not in front of your “body guard.”

You gulped, wondering how you should answer. Staring over to Kurapika, you realized, yes his eyes were indeed beautiful. But to have them floating aimlessly in a jar? You cringed at the thought.

“Yes, they are quite beautiful.” You bit your cheek, not enjoying the words in your mouth, or his stare from behind you on your conscious. Before the snob could start his rambles on luxuries and riches, you cut him off. “So why are they in a jar?” You we’re trying to bite down your own anger now, understanding the reason for Kurapika’s constant fuel for his anger. It was these people.

“Well, sweetheart, the value doesn’t lay with the container, rather...”

“It’s not- when you see something beautiful, is your instinct really to kill it and shove it into a jar with a price tag?” You couldn’t help yourself, were these people really this blinded by something as trivial as jenny? “Shouldn’t it be left alone because it’s beautiful, because we fear of disturbing its grace? I...I don’t think beauty is something that should be locked up, do you?” You’d gotten too into this conversation, your true feelings shining through. The rich man before you and Kurapika both wearing varying shock on their faces.

You had to maintain the character you’d brought here, or your cover would be blown! You were a woman who liked to think of herself as respectful, but instead thought of something a bratty, spoiled girl would say and tried your best to act the part. You feigned hurt as if you’d personally taken offence, adding an obnoxious sniffle or two. “Why! D-didn’t you just call m-me beautiful?” Your bratty facade was working, he was probably used to working with pig-headed brats, the man flew to your aid.

“N-no milady! I didn’t mean anything like-“

“I’m hurt terribly Sir, truly, and going to the tables now.” You falsely crossed your arms in a pout, turning to Kurapika and winding your arm into his closest to you. Sure, you’d made a fool of yourself, but you smile at the fact that waiter might be fretting over your ‘hurt feelings’ all night. You turned to Kurapika, wondering how the silent boy was after that ordeal. Though his eyes had calmed, you still saw a ring of crimson, hiding subtly at the edges of his eyes. He was wearing contact lenses, but that didn’t stop a the thin sheen of blood red that peeked through when he was troubled. “Hey.” You rubbed his arm in an attempt of comfort, but to not much avail. After a squeeze, he finally looked your way, and he seemed to let his face thaw, his eyes slowly returning to a more true silver. Kurapika had seen you in action before, it was nearly amusing how harmless you could seem to strangers. You sighed in relief.

On your way to the buffet, you both turned into the kitchen you two knew would be empty, you were to await a call from you employers somewhere alone. “What’s your favourite food?” You leaned back on a counter, feeling the need to fill the silence after minutes had passed.

“...I don’t know.” Kurapika stood straight up, almost as if he was refusing rest. You’d always admired his soft almost angelic features, and equally soft and angelic looking blonde hair, but he always carried a heavy sense of either exhaustion or intimidation with him, his sleek black suit adding to the second. He gave off exhaustion only when he felt he could let his guard down, at least partially so, you assumed. From the way his muscles seemed to untense at the shoulders whenever it was just the two of you in a room together. For some reason, that gave you comfort around him.

“Ah, me neither really, though I do love dango. The ones with a lot of flavour...” You tried to focus more on the imaginary dango and less on Kurapika’s hard shell.

“What’s the point of this small talk?” He questioned, eyes on the ground for whatever reason, did even raising his eyes make him tired? Your heart sank a little, the look on his face hardened again.

“It brings me comfort, most of the time others too. I don’t like it much either, but it helps the silence.” He seemed to ponder on that, sliding down to take a seat in the floor himself with a meek sigh, his hands pale against the sleek gray floor.

After no call for another few minutes, you’d figured the two of you had been early, or perhaps your employers had their hands full with something. Kurapika’s thin yet smooth voice surprised you, breaking the silence. “Talking to that man, were you being honest?” Kurapika had been wondering about that conversation ever since it happened. It was the most assertive you’d ever done from what he’s seen, that is before you backed off and sauntered away with him, safely so to his relief. But he still couldn’t help but think whether honesty or fear made those words form in your mouth. Did you say that because you believed it, or because you feared being on anyone’s bad side? To him you were an enigma, a tricky one at that. Kurapika never put much effort into reading other people unless they were his opponent, yet you’re usually unknown and unspoken thoughts had always peaked his interest.

“I was.” You declared.

“Really?” He sounded sceptical, or maybe just indifferent.

“Really, so honest I almost busted our cover.” You sent a smile his way, and Kurapika wasn’t sure what to make of it. You could tell he wasn’t fully convinced.

Later, after waiting for what felt like hours, you reached under a cart nearby, hands landing on small bowls. Rice! You’d be lying if your stomach wasn’t writhing this entire time, you hadn’t eaten for most of the day now. Placing them on top of the cart, you searched for cutlery, eventually finding a couple sets of chopsticks.

“I’ve been starving. How about you, Kurapika?” You asked gingerly. The stoic boy simply looked up at you, leaving no reply. You frowned and slid a bowl over to him anyway, hoping it would brighten his mood a little. Feasting on plain rice, you enjoyed every grain, finally fueled up again for any fighting you may encounter. Kurapika’s eyes seemed to catch something on your face, though you weren’t clueing in at all. He closed his eyes and sighed, stretching his long legs and striding over to you, who was still perched on the counter. He approached so he was standing between your bent knees, you fought your surprise when he swept his thumb across your cheek, a sticky grain of rice falling off as a result. His face was close to yours, and you couldn’t help but be lost in those marble eyes, light glinted against the red earrings beside them. You murmured something too muffled to hear. He hummed for you to respond. “...I wasn’t lying.” You managed, the only way he’d really believe you, might be face-to-face. You wondered if through your eyes he could see your thoughts with his own colourless ones. “You’re eyes...they really are beautiful, even just like this.” Actually, you decided, you preferred them like this. The lack of striking red meant Kurapika’s was a little more at ease, you preferred him in his less troubled state, no matter how stunning his scarlet eyes were. The boy was taken aback, but your hands landed softly onto his cheeks, so he remained as close to you as he was, so he couldn’t back away. “They don’t deserve anything like that.” You finished sternly with your eyes on his, you heart practically pounding, the tone of the room quite saddened. Surprisingly, when Kurapika’s hands travelled hesitantly up your arms to the hands on his face, it wasn’t to yank them off. His hands were on top of your own, and he shut his eyes, a shaky breath escaping his lips, seeming to relish in the rarest feeling in his life:

Calm.

You were shocked by the allowed closeness, Kurapika’s lithe form leaning into your own. It seemed he’d finally broken down a little at that, though no noise of defeat came from him. Silently and carefully, his head of blonde hair had descended onto your shoulder, and you felt his weight sink into your arms. Your fingers combed through his light hair as you leaned back slightly onto the counter, allowing him to relax into your embrace. It was peaceful, so peaceful.

You prayed the phone wouldn’t ring, at least not for a while...

. ⋅ ˚̣- : ✧ : – ⭒ ⊹ ⭒ – : ✧ : -˚̣⋅ .. ⋅ ˚̣- : ✧ : – ⭒

ummmmm hiiiiii ummmmmm I wrote a bit of this a while ago but just finished it up and it is 11 pm on a school night hehe haha hoho, hope someone enjoys this rando piece of writing, also don’t ding me if it’s not accurate to the manga I made half this up, is he still a bodyguard? Mafia boss? Who knows? I don’t 😳 anyways he needs hugs

#kurapika #hxh #hxh imagines #hxh scenarios #kurapika x reader #kurapika kurta #hunterxhunter #hunter x hunter #hxh x reader #hunterxhunter imagines #hunterxhunter x reader #kurapika imagine #hxh kurapika #hxh 1999 #kurapika scenario #angst #fluff #kurapika fluff #kurta clan #hxh angst #hxh anime #killua x reader #gon x reader #hxh fanfic #illumi x reader #hisoka x reader #chrollo x reader

[raziroo]

Chapter 3 | I Am Not At All Wise

Pairing: There's hints, but none

Genre: Angst?

Warnings: Overly Casual Mentions of Depression and Anxiety, Mentions of Trading of Lives

Word Count: 1,926

Author's Note: This might appear a little rushed, because I got this sudden surge of inspiration and sat down to write this and this isn't even proofread. Sorry, hehe.

‘Guys, what’s wrong with you?! This my father we’re talking about, my father! Why are you so hesitant to trade him for Lotor?’

The tense energy in the room only became even more suffocating when Pidge let that question, among others, loose like cannonballs. I was glad I was sitting even a bit away from the ongoing discussion, because the questions and not up to par answers were succeeding in making me uncomfortable. After all, the topic at hand wasn’t light at all – a topic such as trading of lives is one that questions your morals, your beliefs, literally everything you, as a person, stand for. I stared at Pidge, her absolutely enraged expression making me gulp nervously`. If Pidge didn’t get her father back now, after finding out his destination, then God knows how many shots are going to get fired at whom. And although I’m not saying that Pidge is wrong, she isn’t even right.

That’s confusing.

What I meant to say was, that although Pidge’s actions and fury and incredulousness were fully justified, it didn’t mean that we could all just nod heads in tandem and send Lotor off as some sort of pig for slaughter in exchange of Pidge’s dad. It wasn’t fair.

As my eyes lost focus, I recalled Captain America’s words – we don’t trade lives.

I snapped out of my thoughts. I couldn’t say anything. I didn’t want to. I wouldn’t, ultimately. Heading to my room now instead of just sitting there and making myself look like an unopinionated fool wasn’t helping me anyways, and neither was Lotor’s presence a couple feet beside me.

I decided to head to my room.

After all, that was what I was best at, wasn’t it? After finally accepting that I was a time traveler and couldn’t ever see my friends or family ever again and that aliens did actually exist, and not just on Mars (wait, did aliens exist on Mars? I never asked that), all I did for a good sum of time was hide in my room. Activities except hiding in my room included roaming through the castle and running to my room as soon as I deducted any trace of intelligent life near me, being strangely intimate with the white lion – intimacy including venting about how I was probably depressed, possibly had anxiety, caressing the lioness because she’s beautiful, and nestling in her cockpit because she felt like home – and running to my room when Shiro questioned me about my connection with White.

A bit after, when I felt more reassured and had begun craving human communication, I finally emerged from my cave, only to find that some of the Paladins didn’t seem too happy with my presence. Time went on, spirits fell, only to rise once again in blazing hopes of dethroning Zarkon, and my naturally social abilities helped me blend in with the Paladins soon. A lot of the comfort I felt among the Paladins, I owed to Shiro and Hunk. Those two were literally angels, especially to me. I couldn’t count on all the fingers of the Paladins and Allura combined how may times those two, and occasionally Lance, came to offer me a hug or talk to me when I looked glum. Even Allura and Pidge talked to meif they were free. The only person I had problems interacting with was Keith. But we’d nod to each other, say our greetings, and I accepted that. I couldn’t be besties with everyone. However, mine and Keith’s communication skills only worsened and problems only increased once Shiro disappeared. Keith straight up would refuse to pilot the Black Lion, and even when he finally agreed, he was so unorganized and his decisions so rash it was costing the coalition. When Lions started becoming unstable to fight after longer, tougher battles, White was expected to fill in. After all, it was the White Lion’s purpose – to be the mind of Voltron when the Paladins couldn’t, to keep the soul, fire, water, air and flora elements in check, Allura had once said to me. Only, White needed a pilot, a Paladin. And all expectations of being White’s pilot were pinned on me, naturally, because I was the one who seemingly materialized in her cockpit out of nowhere.

I, obviously, failed to do that. Because apparently (and quite obviously, if I do say so myself) even though White warmed up the cockpit for me when I slept there and seemed to purr when I caressed her face, I wasn’t worthy enough, in her gaze, to be a Paladin. And I truly had no qualms about that. The only issue was that Keith wasn’t satisfied with that. Pidge and Lance tried to hide it, but they too, felt that I should try harder. Hunk comforted me when I accidentally let the hurt I was feeling shine through. Allura tried to convince everyone that it wasn’t my fault at all, that the Lions only accepted whom they deemed fit to Pilot them, and the reason the White Lion even was the “extra” Lion in the first place was that it was hardest than any of the other Lions to convince to be Pilot of. It was simply too calculating and cynical and choosy – and I agreed with White wholly, because stepping in as the voice of reason, as the mind of Voltron when all these worthy, noble, brave people who were specifically selected to be the defender and judge of the universe when no one else could failed to do their jobs, then you needed to be one hell of a person to be honoured with the name “White Paladin of Voltron”.

When Shiro had come back, or as he said, when Keith brought him back, the Castle seemed to light up more. I understood why he was chosen to be the soul to combine the other elements and form Voltron. I was ecstatic, perhaps happier than some of the Paladins even, but that didn’t mean I didn’t notice – or rather, didn’t choose to shrug off - his strange and simply out of character behaviour at times. I wasn’t the only one that did. It was when I voiced to White about my concerns, and she glowed – literally glowed as if in agreement did I know that shit was serious. White, as weirdly impossible as it sounds, also noticed. She knew, too, that something wasn’t right with Shiro. It was beyond me how she did, but I didn’t get to ponder on that for too long.

Why?

Because Lotor happened. He arrived as our saviour at the most unexpected moment and in the most unexpected way, and then became unpredictability, unanswered questions, and uncertainty personified for us. How many rifts and arguments he alone had caused between the Paladins was the slightest bit alarming, but justified, in my opinion. Lotor had succeeded in messing up our functioning. It didn’t matter if it was only a tad – he was the anthropomorphic form of all the flaws and hesitancies and wrongs and uncertainties in the coalition that we’d turned a blind eye to.

And now Zarkon had offered us Pidge’s dad’s freedom in exchange of Lotor, but I would be lying if I said if I wasn’t the tiniest bit worried as to just what Zarkon would do to Lotor. I know, I know, I really was no one to be straining my brain for that, since Lotor was an alien Prince who had equal chances of being good and evil, was capable of killing us all if he wished to, and had probably endured worse than his father’s wrath. But that wasn’t even the biggest issue we had. Pidge getting fired up was reasonable enough, I was aware of how emotionally driven she could become at times despite being a genius. And her brain refusing to work when her family came into play was the reason I was bothered most – even if she convinced the other Paladins to go through with the exchange, there was absolutely no surety that Zarkon would keep his part of the deal. It was legit the dumbest, most irrational thing the protagonist could do. If that happened, we’d lose both Pidge’s father, and an extremely valuable asset to the coalition.

I didn’t really realize that during my very acceptable train of self-depreciating thoughts I’d changed my route and had instinctively begun for White. I guess it was only right, as I felt more at ease there than anywhere. It was only when I reached her and stroked her, she seemed to… close in on her herself. I furrowed my brow, a small frown on my lips.

I sighed. It was probably nothing.

Relaxing my facial muscles, I closed my eyes, leaned forward, and nudged White’s snout. I jumped back with a start when instead of the usual purr or whimper, she growled at me. The crease between my brows returned with a higher intensity.

‘What is it, girl? Hmm?’ I cooed at her, not risking touching her. ‘Is something wrong? Do you not want to talk? Should I go?’

Silence was what I received in exchange.

‘My love,’ yes I called White “my love”, “girl”, have and will continue to call her “babe”, and no you cannot do jack about it. ‘You need to tell me, please,’ I continued, my voice gentle as ever, ‘how am I supposed to know what you want to say? You’ve never growled at me before. I don’t know how to interpret that gesture. Do I take it as you being upset? Angry? Sad?’ She still didn’t answer. All the life seemed to leave her.

I tilted my head. My sigh bounced off the walls.

‘The White Lion is said to be the mind of Voltron,’ a naturally assertive, deep, thunder-like voice called. I was sure I jumped at least a foot before whipping my head to where the voice resonated from. Lotor. What -?

‘Forgive me if I scared you. I thought it wise to offer some assistance; you seemed to be in need of help.’

I didn’t answer. He took it as a “yes, I need your help”. ‘The most probable reason it is not responding to your calls, is because you are contradicting what the White Lion stands for, you aren’t being wise. That is, assuming the Lion does answer you typically.’

I turned back to White, my jaw setting. My lingering suspicion turned into certainty at Lotor’s remarks.

Well. As much as I cherished my relations with White, I wasn’t going to voice my thoughts and concerns regarding the life trade. I wasn’t particularly keen on getting involved. I wasn’t the White Paladin. I wasn’t the voice of reason. I couldn’t be. This was the exact reason as to why I couldn’t be the White Paladin. I had many a thought, but didn’t always think it wise to share them with others.

Especially not when “others” included a leader that was not being himself, a princess who wanted to get rid of the Galra empire and Zarkon as soon as possible no matter the cost, and a Paladin who was going feral and becoming blind by rage at the thought of not getting her father back when she was so close.

Yes. Now definitely not.

Without sparing Lotor or White another glance, I headed to my room, for real this time. I didn’t notice both of their piercing gazes aimed at my retreating figure.

#vld #voltron legendary defender #shiro #voltron #takashi shirogane #keith kogane #lance mcclain #hunk garrett #pidge gunderson #katie holt #sam holt #matt holt #prince lotor #lotor #allura #coran #altea #galra #zarkon #honerva #haggar #votron x reader

[nekomasmngr]

unwind

➳ synopsis: You wanted to be warm more than anything. After a rough day at work and the bitter weather that seemed to cloud your mood, you couldn’t wait to get home and shut yourself away from the world. But, as much as you yearned for warmth, that wasn’t the only thing you needed today.

➳ genre: slice of life, comfort to fluff, established relationship between you and Suga!

➳ warning: just in case, there are mentions of being overworked and exhaustion, fidgeting behavior, self-deprecating thoughts, signs of an upcoming breakdown, post timeskip!suga, patient and loving suga <3

➳ word count: 3.861k

➳ a/n: here’s my sfw secret santa gift for @bugmomwrites !! this was a joy to write and i think i have a thing for writing long one shots for suga and i’m really glad you enjoyed reading this! posting this on record cause im quite proud of it hehe (っ◔◡◔)っ

Warmth. 

That was all you had in mind. It was all you needed. 

Feet were being dragged as you trudged along the side of the road. Adjusting your form that was bundled up in layers to trap your own body heat. Yet, every step you took, every breath you released; warmth just kept escaping you. 

Your mind felt so muddy. You fidget and flex your fingers to try to keep them from freezing stiff from the brisk blow of the cold air, yet you had your attention recalling the events that occurred earlier in the day: the mistakes, the slip ups, and the lectures you got from your ever so judgemental inner critic. You’ve probably spent most of your energy making sure to get through the day as best as you can even if it meant feeling more overworked and exhausted than usual. 

Today wasn’t kind to you at all. You just wanted to warm yourself up with a nice bath, maybe order in some pizza and pig out on some ice cream, close the blinds on your windows and turn up a good sob story, maybe even cuddle up with your fluffy blankets and pillows—

A sharp buzz from your pocket pulled you out of your thoughts of relaxation, with a text from Sugawara that read: ‘Hey bubba! how was work? I’m almost at your place! can’t wait to see you!’

Oh no. 

It was date night with Suga. 

How could you forget?! 

Suga’s job at the elementary school demanded a lot of his time and attention. You, being the supporting girlfriend, didn’t want to be a distraction or an added burden to his job. So, you both agreed to focus on yourselves for the meantime. But, you both also decided to dedicate a night, once a week to see each other again— hence, date night.

Knowing the holidays were coming up, both of you had been assigned more tasks that usual, as the year comes to an end. Days were long and nights were lonely, weekends would be filled with other demands and unfinished deadlines. The time spent apart couldn’t be more evident that it was now and this night would be the first date you would have in weeks. You wouldn’t deny it— you missed Sugawara desperately. 

You started to think of what you both could do for date night. ‘Would he want to go out for dinner? Maybe see that new movie that was just released last week? Hm, or maybe we could catch up with some of his old friends, it is the holidays after all. Oh no, I have to change my clothes. Maybe put on a nice dress? But, it is colder at night, maybe some dress pants? Ew, that’s like going out with work friends.’ 

Your thoughts were running through every activity you could do and all the other things you needed to do to prepare for the date. An overwhelming burn rose inside of your chest, bubbling up with a mixture of excitement, panic, and nervousness. 

Another gust of wind blew through your face, biting your cheeks and nipping your nose. You were instantly reminded of the earlier weight you just had on your shoulders. The exhaustion you still felt made you think of how much energy you had already lost and how much you would have to use to get through tonight. It would take too much energy to entertain someone today, even if it was your boyfriend. 

You frowned for even thinking of cancelling date night. What kind of girlfriend would you be if you did? He might think you’d rather not spend time with him at all or worse, he might think you believe that both of you started to drift apart. 

You were slowly feeling more irritable at the different thoughts and little noises that just irked you more than they should. If you had to see Suga today, you definitely didn’t want to accidentally snap at him. Your head started to get dizzy as you kept thinking whilst fighting off your fatigue. 

Inside, you knew you missed Koushi so much. Just seeing him would probably make you feel better, with that smile of his that always brightened your day. However, you couldn’t ignore your aching muscles, the crick in your neck and the stress on your back. Your nerves were on fire and all you really wanted was for it to stop.

It seems as though your thoughts held your attention ever so fervently, because next thing you knew, you were standing right outside the door to your apartment. 

With a sigh, you squeezed your eyes shut and took a deep breath before jamming your key into the door. Stepping inside, you were greeted by a deafening silence. 

You had some coats and jackets strewn across your common area. The weather had been getting chillier lately and you had different articles of clothing available to you if ever you needed the extra warmth. A few knick knacks, memorabilia, and picture frames decorated the walls and shelves. The slight mess was homey to you. It made the place look alive and lived in, but right now it was an unearthly empty apartment. Something didn’t feel right. You didn’t know what it was, but the walls didn’t hold the warmth you yearned for. 

Frustrated at your dissatisfaction, you took a straight path to grab a glass of water that would hopefully clear your head. 

In the middle of your third glass of water, a knock at the door sounded. 

You flinched at the sound. Suga.

You mentally kicked yourself for getting distracted. You were so preoccupied with your own thoughts and feelings, you completely ghosted your own boyfriend. If only you had better focused and weren’t so bothered by every little thing that did bothered you; you would actually be a better employee or a better significant other— just someone better that deserves love. 

Dejectedly, you put down your glass and timidly inched towards the door. Opening it to meet soft doe eyes that looked at you in anticipation. Suga started out with a simple greeting and a bright smile that slightly put your aching heart at ease.

“Hey,” you replied, giving him a small smile in return. 

Entering your apartment, he started to get comfortable as you always allowed him to do so. Taking off his coat and putting down his bags, he turned to you to start the night’s activities. But you cut him off as soon as he opened his mouth. 

“I’m sorry,” your eyes casted down on the ground, both of your hands coming together to fidget with your fingers. 

“Oh, for what?” 

“I didn’t reply. I—,” with hesitation, you bit the inside of your cheek at how ridiculous you must have looked with your weak excuses, “I had a rough day and I’m just really…” Everything suddenly came rushing back to you: your thoughts of self-criticism, your slip ups at work, the cold that prickled your skin, the wasted time you spent on being preoccupied with your own thoughts, your tiredness and headaches—  all the things that seemed to drive you to your limit. 

You sounded silly with your struggle to form words without getting choked up by your exhaustion. You shut your eyes tightly to try to reset your mind and say what you wanted to say straight. 

Suddenly, gentle arms wrapped around you as you were pulled into a warm embrace. 

“Hey, hey. It’s alright.” A familiar hand rested on the back of your head and soon you rested your forehead onto your boyfriend. “It’s okay, there’s no rush, love.” 

Time seemed to stand still as you took in every bit of reassurance that spilled with his every word. Suga immediately saw your inner battle as he was attuned to most of your quirks and habits. He knew you just needed someone to hold you close. 

Unlike the present, most days, you would be filled with so much energy, just bouncing around, talking about the most random things. Bright smiles, heart-filled laughter, and matched chaotic energy exchanged between the two of you. 

You could easily ease up the most stressful days of work, where he’d come home tired from teaching the kids and administrative work for the school. But as soon as he saw you, all his exhaustion seemed to turn into more energy. You’d be so eager to listen to every word he would say about his day and he’d be just as happy to tell you all the cute little things the kids did— any sign of his own exhaustion had disspelled.

But of course, there are the days when you would be just as exhausted as he would be on those days, if not more with all the extra energy you spent trying to keep yourself together. Perhaps, today was one of those days. 

Tender lips pressed on the crown of your head. You felt soft movement against your skin as you heard your boyfriend’s kind words, “Is something wrong?”

You deeply sighed into his chest, your breath expelling heat that warmed the both of you. Shoulders and back muscles instantly relax into his strong arms. Your head slowly motions into a nod, but you don’t quite want to face him just yet. 

“Do you wanna talk about it?” 

You bit your lip and buried your face further into Suga’s chest, shaking your head. 

He smiled at how adorable you had become and piped out a suggestion, “Hmm, how bout a nap first?”

You turned your head to look up at him, but your eyes shifted away as you saw his soft gaze. “But, date night…” you trailed off, not knowing how to say that you didn’t want to cancel on him. 

“It’s okay. You need to rest first, okay? We can talk later, but right now, take as much time as you need.”

Keeping an arm around you, he led you to your room and stopped at the side of your bed. Your own arms instinctively wrapped around your form to trap the leftover weight that lingered from the absent arms. 

“Do you need anything else?” Sugawara asked, fluffing up your pillows and opening the bedsheets up for you to slide right in. 

You took his hand and tugged him beside you; a signal for him to take a nap with you. 

As comfortable as you may have looked, with your head on his chest and your arms wrapped around his middle; your body didn’t fully relax just yet. You didn’t usually feel this shy when cuddling with Koushi. In fact, being vulnerable with each other was something you loved most about your relationship. But, there are still days when you would retreat into your own shell, when your mind kept up with your racing thoughts that only ever burned at your tired heart. 

Smooth thumbs ever so gently rubbed on your shoulder, pulling you out of the tension you were holding yourself hostage. Like a silent knock of permission, you were reminded of his overwhelming presence; the absolute love and lack of judgement that you would always be reassured of. No amount of shame, guilt, or sadness that you might feel would ever be hidden from Koushi. Just as he could never hide something from you. 

Trying to steady your beating heart from the rush of emotions that just went by you in such a short time. You slowly focused your mind on what's happening now, at that moment. 

With plush covers enveloping you, head resting on your loyal pillow and your favorite part— warm arms that led to careful hands. Suga dragged his palms slowly from your shoulder to your head. 

You felt gentle fingertips push against the middle of your brows, unaware that you had furrowed them in an attempt to make sense of your thoughts. 

“You can go to sleep, love.” Sugawara whispered, with a voice so soft and deep it was like a lullaby to your heart. With a last hum, you acknowledged his words and focused on the steady beat of Suga’s heart that hushed you to sleep.

Cold.

That was what you awoke to. 

Sitting up from your nest of blankets, you pouted at the absence of your boyfriend from your side. Stretching out your limbs from your position, you heard satisfying cracks from aching joints that have been stiffened for what felt like hours. Taking a glance at the clock on your nightstand, it had been a little over an hour since you were sent off to sleep in the sweet arms of home. 

Raising your nose into the air, you gave a whiff of something utterly delectable. Muffled sounds of padding feet and subtle rustling of metal, you suspected someone was in the kitchen area. With the thought of the mystery that was happening outside of your room, your stomach grumbled loudly as to add to the equation. 

As you entered your small common area, you were fixed on a familiar head of fluffy grey hair that seemed to float across the living space. Your boyfriend was carrying a couple of plates and glasses and arranged them on top of the placemats and utensils that rested on the low coffee table. All that was missing was the food.

Wondering if you had just imagined the earlier scent of delight, a couple of paper bags that were placed near the floor of the couch caught your eye. You perked up at the size of the bags and the likelihood of the great amounts of foods and snacks that could be inside. 

As if on cue, Sugawara greeted you with a shining smile that struck a good light into your soul. “Good morning, sleepy Bugs!” He walked towards you and gave you a sweet peck on the cheek. “How was your nap?”

“Um, it was good,” slightly suprised from the amount of affection you had just been given and from the sight before you, you remember feeling rejuvinated after that nap he suggested you take. “It was really good.” 

After having rested, you definitely felt better than you did the whole day. Suga definitely grounded you when you needed it the most and gestures like that never ceased to warm your heart at how he knew you so well. 

Fixiating your gaze on your boyfriend, you observed him unpacking your favorite foods from their packaging, placing them neatly on your dishware. 

“What’s all this?” You gestured to the set-up he had laid out on your coffee table. He gave a little shrug and looked up at you with a small smile, “I figured you would be hungry once you woke up, so I got us dinner.”

He was right once again. Your stomach cried at the sight of your favorite foods spread out infront of you.

“And since, it’s still date night. I thought we could just have a little self-care date just here.” he said as he motions to his little dinner party layout; both of you would be seated on the ground, with backs against the couch facing the television, fresh food on both your plates, a couple of bags of chips and soda on the side. It was comfy and casual, but seemed just perfect for the two of you. 

With a blanket on his lap, Suga looked up at you, head held high in anticipation of praise and a smile that lured you to sit by his side. 

“You sure you don’t want to go out?” you asked just to be sure. Your eyes locking on his, analyzing any hesitation or disappointment he might have over having to have to stay in on date night.

“Any moment spent with you is a date to me already.” He admitted with a grin. Your face scrunched at the sound of his affectionate line. You snorted until you both let out a laugh at how cheesy that sounded. “That was too cheesy, even for you.” You smiled at him. 

He whined at your tease, but quickly pushed your plates to yourselves eager to dig into your meals. 

As you ate, you conversed about what he had planned for the night, thinking of the time he must have spent devising this lovely impromptu evening. 

“We could watch a movie together,” he offered, “maybe do some skin care, what do you think of that?” 

“Skin care? You want to do that?” 

“Yeah! I want the full experience! I wanna get a fluffy headband to pull back my hair.” As if to show proof, he excitedly shook his head, making his fluffy grey hair bounce around. 

“I want to know about those uh, face washers?” he thought for a moment, turning away to take a peak at another paper bag that you didn’t notice before. “Or was it face masks? You know, to bring a little glow to the skin.” Suga said as he brought out some sheets of face masks that he must have bought when you were sleeping.

You almost awed at the sight of how enthusiastic and prepared he was. But, it was nothing unexpected of your boyfriend. Any spontaneous antics you would come up with, he’d support it either way, whether it was a surprise visit at each other’s work areas or a 2am drive to the nearest 24 hour fast food restaurant for a ridiculous craving; it was always something exciting with Koushi.

After a second to think, you answered honestly. “Yeah, we could do that. My skin’s feeling a little dry lately.” 

Immediately thinking of the other products you had that the two of you could use, but curious eyes pulled you from your thoughts as Sugawara studied your face, “Oh yeah, it does.” He leaned back and nodded, “You might need the whole treatment more than me, Bugs.” Taking a bite of food, he put on a classic innocent smile, but that could never fool you. 

How cheeky he had become all of a sudden. You groaned at his little act of mockery and gave him a sharp shove on the shoulder. 

The little joker lurched forward, spilling his food back on his plate, “Oi! I could’ve choked on my food!” he exclaimed.

“Oh, do you need some prune juice to water it down, old man? ” you retorted back at him. 

The night continued on with your customary jokes and teasing. As Sugawara planned, after your dinner, you were both seated on the couch, swaddled in your comfiest clothes and blankets. Headbands clearing any stray hair away from each other’s line of sight, as fresh face masks adorned your gleeful faces. 

It was refreshing to not have to worry about what happens next and how much energy you had to spend to act as though you were enjoying. It all just came so natural with Suga. You didn’t have to keep up a facade, like a professional one at work, thinking over each task and mistake you inevitably made and repenting for it. 

Tonight was just about the two of you. Addressing each other’s needs and soaking in each other’s genuine presence. It was a slow day, nothing extraordinary, but it satisfied you both to know the security you felt in each other. Feeling as though you were both constant in each other’s lives, especially in this age of uncertainty. 

As the night came to a close, you both retreated to your earlier position. Limbs entangled with one another, the comforting beating of each other’s hearts slowly tuning in sync. You both haven’t quite fallen asleep yet, having felt the air fill up with unsaid thoughts and yet, none were uttered as a blanket of silence covered the entire room. 

You didn’t know how long you both just laid there, but you remembered feeling the dancing fingers that were playing with your hair, halting its movements. Followed by a light poke on your cheek which brought you out of your own trance.

“Hey,” Koushi chimed in, “we forgot to do one last thing.” You hummed as you turned your head expectantly at him. 

“But we don’t have to do it, if you don’t wanna talk about it okay?” You nodded in agreement, paitently waiting for his next words.

“We haven’t talked about your day yet. How was it?”

Ah, you knew this was coming. Sugawara would never let you go to sleep without acknowledging both the good and the bad things of the day. Having spent a good 4 hours on your date night, ignoring the bad and recharging your emotional battery, it seemed like a good time to bring up what bothered you. 

In a way, this was something you were grateful for. Recounting the events of the day felt easier to talk about  now rather than how you would have expressed them earlier that evening. Allowing yourself to understand the bad things in life validated those rush of emotions you felt which didn’t seem as muddy as it was before. Which is why you would always be grateful for Sugawara for being who he was. Knowing that he knows how you work made you feel special, made you feel seen by someone who was a witness to all of the different parts of you. 

As you end your cathartic narrative, you gave your boyfriend the softest of smiles that hopefully showed how thankful you were for being able to have a safe space for your emotions.

He mimicked your look and added, “I know it’s sometimes hard to admit these kinds of things.” His smooth palms took your hand that was on his chest in the softest of grips, bringing them to his lips for a kiss. 

“But, you can always talk to me about them, alright?” 

It was in the way his eyes glowed along with the moonlight that spilled in from the window, hinted at something deeper than just ‘these kinds of things’. Trust seeped out from his gaze and into yours as you understood his real message that Sugawara meant. That he was here for anything; anything you wanted to say, anything you wanted to do, and anything you felt like—

He was here for you. 

Sugawara wrapped both of his arms around your frame for a firm embrace and poured every reassuring emotion into his hug. Making it known to you that you can always count on him to be there for you. 

Basking in each other’s arms, you savored in the overwhelming soothing warmth that you both shared. A knowing inkling chimed at the back of your head bringing to light the earlier encounter with the unknown missing presence after having entered your empty apartment.

Warmth was missing.

More importantly, Suga’s warmth. 

This was all you needed to unwind from the worldly chaos that you go through everyday. It is in his arms where you feel the safest and it’s a place you wouldn’t want to leave anytime soon. 

His actions today showed you how attentive and dedicated he was to you. Pure love and care was all that you felt while being with him today and you believed in him to be there, with just as much love and care (if not more), in the days to come.

#sugawara koushi #sugawara koushi x reader #haikyuu x reader #haikyuu!! #secret santa event #hq headquarters #nina writes

[friiday-thirteenth]

SINCE SOMEONE HAS TAKEN IT UPON THEMSELF TO YELL AT ME TO SLEEP AT AN APPROPRIATE TIME, HERE'S SOME HOT TAKES:

maths is good and fun and I genuinely enjoy it and that's not weird that's just how I am. I am speed running the year above me's maths and I am loving it. numbers make brain go brr.

I'm doing a thing called maths buddy and I'm just. going right through the year 11 work and it's so much fun? like, im on algebra but in class we're looking at bivariate data (we're looking at pie graphs soon yay!) and I love it so much. everything about maths is ten out of ten. also, at the end of the year we do a trial ncea test and get sorted into our classes for next year and I am really hoping to get into 101 bc that leaves calculus open later on!

ALSO

we did science today and learnt about the circulatory system and yes it's good but I also am going to list the bones now (disclaimer: this is a year ten science class. plz do not take all I say as fact although like 90% is right. if somethings wrong plz correct me!)

cranium + mandible (skull), scapula (shoulder blade), clavicle (collarbone, it's designed to break), humerus (upper arm bone), radius + ulnar (ulnar is along pinkie side of arm I think(I broke the top off of it last year. bones are crunchy), sternum, ribs, pelvis, femur (if u break that u fucked up. it's big and strong for a reason.), tibia + fibula (big + small leg bones, fibula is really hard to find in a chicken leg), and then ankle bones and feet. in the book the toe bones were called phalanges but the teacher said something abt metatarsal (t for toes) and metacarpal (ur fingers). And then the ear has like. the anvil, hammer and stirrup but idk abt the stirrup.

now the circulatory system

you breathe in air. goes down trachea (theres a flap in ur throat that stops food going down ur trachea and I think that is very cool). filters into lungs, absorbed into blood. goes thru the heart, into the arteries (although I'll talk abt them later) out thru the body, into capillaries (the tiny tiny versions of veins & arteries) and comes back thru the veins to the heart,goes to lungs and gets re-oxygenated because it was spreading oxygen to the body that whole time

VEINS AND ARTERIES R WEIRD

arteries are almost all sort of kinda the parts that bring oxygenated blood throughout the body. veins almost kinda sort of bring it back through the body to be re-oxygenated. but the thing is, you've got the pulmonary vein and the pulmonary artery, and I cant remember the vein ones job, but the pulmonary artery brings deoxygenated blood into the lungs. (pulmonary means to the lungs, I think.)

I can't remember much abt the heart, but it has two ventricles (left and right), two atriums (once again, left and right), the superior vena cava (literally, the one on top), and the inferior vena cava (the one below), the septum (which separates the two ventricles/atriums I think), the aorta (which is pronounced a-orta whereas in Maori, the native language of my country (I am European Pakeha tho) you would put the a and o together to make an "oh" kinda sound (I'm shit at explaining sounds sorry)), then you've the pulmonary thingies. the diaphragm is a muscle that pulls ur lungs down, and people with strong diaphragms have really good opera voices (kinda random but yeah). also one side of your heart is stronger (has more muscle we said in class) than the other bc one pumps blood to the lungs and the other, stronger one pumps it all around the body. that's all I can remember sorry (I've forgotten stuff, I can sense it).

oh!!! we dissected a chicken leg! bone marrow is pretty lit. the skin is weird and adipose (fat tissue) is gross. I liked ripping the muscles apart tho. in the coming lessons (the one after next I think) we get to dissect a pig heart! its gonna be really fun!

also we talked abt how Latin used to be taught a lot and now I'm sad I don't get to learn it, as in, I'd learn it as opposed to any other language because that's how I am!

Also. weird thing is, I could've learnt spanish this year but I didnt bc I hated the teacher (: but hes my Dean's partner so yeah. my Dean's pretty chill tho, she's my english teacher.

English is great! we're reading holes by Louis sachar and I've already read it, so I'm speed running the questions hehe. that is, if I cbf. tomorrow we get to silent read (in class not the library which is kinda sad, in the library I can hide alone in a corner) which will be fun.

this degenerated from hot takes to. not hot takes but just facts n shit, but anyway! now that that's out of my system, goodnight! I hope everyone who sees this has a lovely day/night/time of day for them!! and also a lovely week. you deserve it :)

#sciencd is f u n #maths is fun #english? fun #i didnt talk abt social studies but it? is fun. #phys. ed?fun. i love pe so much. #religious studies? boring but im good at info recall so its easy #dvc? the boy im crushing sits nearme. so its brillianr.t #engineering? boy number 2 ive got a crush on sits near me. extra brilliant. #in conclusion i hate the people but love school. #kirby if u see this im going to bed now #not doing extra msths #goodnight #ily anyone who sees this *hugs you*

[honeymaki]

kitty !!! today i went to a pumpkin patch and got some pumpkins ! because its on a farm there were baby cows and baby pigs there too ! you were allowed to pet them so i tried to pet one of the baby cows ! she smacked my hand away with a little headbutt so i took that as a sign that she wasnt in the mood for a pet hehe. how are you doing ? i hope your parents are feeling better ! remember to ice that knee and keep it elevated if its still hurting ! some ibuprofen should help as well if its with the muscle ! sending lots of kisses ur way 🥰🥰🥰

Pumpkin!!! Baby cow!!! You’re living the life honey bun🥺🥺 I’m so glad you had a good day, that sounds so so lovely💕 my knee so far is okay, gonna rest a lot tomorrow but I have so many bruises!! I’m like a fuzzy lil peach🥺 I just had a shower nd smell all nice and yummy and my parents are getting better, dad is still displaying lots of symptoms but mum is on the mend!! I don’t feel as stressed any more, still anxious and worried and a little overwhelmed but m okay:)) kisses for u💕💕

#🧋.answers

[hquokkah]

Cookies, Love, and Burnt Cookies.

!! Contains some swearing !!

SKZ members decide to make cookies one day. The real question is, will it end up in disaster or utter chaos? Maybe both? Fic featuring OT8 members of Stray Kids! <3

......

“Have you gotten out all the ingredients yet Hyunjin...?!” Minho asked, pulling out a mixing bowl.

“Almost. I just can’t find the eggs! I swear I saw them yesterday.” Hyunjin replied, sticking his arm in the fridge as he moved items around to find the carton of eggs.

“Look harde- OW!” Minho yelled, accidently whacking his hand against the counter as he turned to face him.

“HAH! That’s for yelling at me.”

Minho rolled his eyes.

“We haven’t even started baking yet! And both of you are already at it.” Felix sighed.

“That’s his fault. He’s taking too long to find the eggs.”

“They’re not even in the fridge! You can’t yell at me if there’s no eggs to find!”

“Jokes on you, I have them with me~” Minho smirked.

 “YOU WHAT”

“I was just teasing Jinnie~ Now get over here, I think we have everything?”

“I think we do.” Felix glanced over everything just to be sure as Hyunjin made his way over grumbling.

“You look a lil grouchy. Is it because I woke you up instead of Jeongin since he had to go out?”

“You tickled me awakeee…” He whined. “Are we just making regular sugar cookies?”

“Yep! I thought maybe we could decorate them too! I bought some frosting for us.” Felix chirped, pulling out store-bought frosting from a shopping bag. “Here they are~” he said, smiling.

“I’ll set them down for you.” Minho said, taking the containers of frosting. “Should we start making them now, Felix?”

“Oh yes- Hyunjin could you pass me the flour?”

-- time skip bc cookies take time --

“Alright! Dough is done, Minho could you please find the cookie cutters? It’s in the storage room.”

While Minho was searching for it, Hyunjin divided the dough into three sections so each of the boys could do whatever they wanted with their share of the dough. He began playing around with his, tossing it like pizza dough.

“Hyunjin-”

“Yeah?”

“Be careful you don’t drop that on the floor. I dunno the last time we cleaned it.” Felix cautioned.

“Me? Drop it? Never…” Hyunjin laughed, tossing it above his head and catching it to prove his point. “See?”

Felix stared at him for a moment and then shrugged. “Okay then. Just be careful mate.”

“You got it bro--” Hyunjin’s dough fell on the floor with a smack.

He glanced at Felix quickly, who thankfully had his back turned. The boy darted to pick it up and dust it off quickly, blowing on it to get off any germs from the floor that could’ve collected, dumping it on the table just as Felix turned back around.

“You good? I thought I heard a thump.”

“O-Oh- that was....probably Minho. All’s good.”

“Really? Huh. I’ll go check on him.” He said, leaving the kitchen.

Once Felix was out of sight, Hyunjin stared at his dough with a disgusted look on his face.

“...What am I going to do with you..” He thought aloud, his nose scrunching as his finger poked it.

“A thump? Wasn’t me.”

“Oh really? That’s weird.”

His eyes widened at the sound of his approaching friends, arms flailing everywhere as he panicked. The doorknob was turning…

“We’re back!” Felix hummed, moving towards his spot from before. 

Hyunjin sat at the table, looking 100% calm as if nothing happened. “Find the cookie cutters, hyung?”

“It took some looking, but yeah, I did.”

“Perfect. Here’s your half of dough, by the way!”

“Thanks...”

“You’re Welcome.” Hyunjin smiled, facing him. His tone seemed a little too sweet.

He had traded his germy dough with Minho’s clean one-

I repeat: He traded his fallen dough with Minho’s clean dough last minute so he wouldn’t have it. 

Minho raised an eyebrow suspiciously at him, and Hyunjin could feel cold sweat forming before Minho turned his attention back on the cookie cutters.

“Wait...WE HAVE CAT COOKIE CUTTERS? I’m using them. They’re mine.”

“Are you going to make Soonie, Doongi, and Dori cookies?” Felix questioned.

“Of course I am!” He grabbed his dough and cut out 3 cat shaped cookies. 

Hyunjin just stared at them.

“Hyunjin! Hurry up so we can bake them already!” Minho patted his head and gave it a light flick.

“Right- pass me a cookie cutter please?”

After cutting the dough into shapes, the boys placed them on a baking sheet and put them into the oven.

“How long?”

“Er...Given the amount of cookies we have, I’d say fifteen minutes.”

“Oh good. I’m hungry…” Hyunjin sighed.

“Oooooh you’re making cookies?” A familiar voice sounded from the kitchen entrance. “Is there enough for me, hyungs?” Jisung ambled forwards to take a look at the oven.

“Yes. You can have Minho’s cookies.”

“Of course I will. As a matter of fact, I’ll have some of your cookies too, won’t I, Hyunjin. After all, who could resist my heart stopping handsomeness?”

“Handsomeness? Where?” Minho squinted and looked around the room.

“HA-” The clapping of hands and laughter were heard from Hyunjin. 

“Hyung…!” Jisung groaned, only to be enveloped by a pair of arms.

“You can have my cookies!” Felix laughed, squeezing Jisung into a tight hug. “Don’t listen to em! You’re handsome as hell.”

“Aw...thanks Lix.” Jisung hugged him back before turning his head.

“SEE! At least FELIX loves me!” 

“Oh yeah?! Well-Well- MINHO LOV-”

Minho stared at Hyunjin with a teasing disgusted look on his face. 

To which Hyunjin mirrored by looking him up and down and making a fake gagging sound.

“...Never mind. BUT I BET FELIX LOVES ME MORE!”

“NOOO!” Jisung tightened his grip on Felix and began to sway left and right.

“Lix loves me!”

“Ack! I love all of youuu~” Felix hummed, loving the hug he was getting. 

“What’s going on?” Changbin asked, coming in to set a used glass in the sink.

“They’re fighting over who I love more, I guess.”

“Wow, even Minho?”

“Of course not. It’s dumb because Felix loves me more than both of you combined!”

“That’s stupid, because he loves me more than all THREE of you combined!” Changbin smirked. 

“Tch. Sureee…”

Felix giggled at them. 

“How do we settle this?” Jisung asked, playfully trying to kiss Felix’s cheek.

“Er...Arm wrestling?” Binnie suggested.

“Arm wrestling…?!” Hyunjin repeated.

“Yeah…”

“Why arm wrestling? To compete for his love?”

“That’s all I could come up with! Do you  have anything better?”

Hyunjin bit his lip.

“That’s what I thought, Ratpunzel.”

“Hey, don’t call me that!”

“Alright, who wants to compete first?” Minho asked aloud.

“ME. MEMEME!” Jisung shouted, still latched around Felix.

“Alright. Jisung against Changbin.”

“I-” He swung his arms nervously. “Against Changbin? Uh- can I go against Jinnie instead-”

“Are you underestimating me?!”

“You’ll go against Changbin.” Minho smirked.

“Alright, lemme just-” Jisung dropped to the floor and started doing push ups.

“C’mon! I don’t got all day.”

“Bro chill! I’m trying to not break an arm over here, jesus!”

“You’re just a scared quokka.”

“NO!” Jisung pouted. “You’re about to cooked bacon meat once I beat you, pig.”

 “IT’S PIG RABBIT.”

“Okay, alien pig.” Jisung teased, taking a seat at the table with Changbin. 

Changbin put his arm in position, glaring at the man across from him with a smirk. “Let’s just see how this plays out, loser.”

Jisung flexed his arms to show off his beefy muscles, returning the smirk. “I’d be surprised if this pig could beat this.” He landed a kiss on his flexed arm and met his hand with Changbin’s.

“Pabbit versus Quokka.” Minho announced, standing beside them. “Shall we see who comes out as the victor and the loser? On three.” He placed a hand on their holding hands. “Three. Two....One!” He shouted, releasing his grasp.

“WAH!” Jisung squeaked, using his full on strength against Changbin, and getting...close to nowhere.

“Hehe!” Binnie giggled. “I can do this all day!”

Jisung grunted as he started using another hand to help himself out.

Changbin yawned.

“This....isn’t...fair!” Jisung whined. “Felix...I LOVE YOU, BABY-” He yelled, using every last inch of force he had, managing to turn Binnie’s arm to the opposing side farther.

“Hah. Hope you had fun~” Changbin slammed Jisungs arm against the table.

“AUGH!” The man fell off his chair onto the floor dramatically. “Avenge me…” He whispered, before faking dead.

“Pfft. You wish.” Minho laughed. “Alright Hyunjinnie, its you and me~”

“Save me.” Hyunjin sighed, taking Changbin’s spot as Minho took Jisung’s.

Both hands met, and this time Changbin counted down. “3...2...1!”

“ARGHHHH!!” Hyunjin yelled, using all his strength.

“You...sound like you’re...giving birth!” Minho snickered, also using his might.

“Maybe he is!!” Jisung called from the floor.

“SHUT...UP!”

“Im hurt, baby!”

“I’M NOT IN THE CURRENT POSITION TO CARE RIGHT NOW!”

Minho slowly started leaning into Hyunjin, who responded by scrunching his face. “Don’t distract me.” He whined.

Minho puckered his lips.

Hyunjin batted his eyelashes.

Minho leaned in.

“HELL NAW-” Hyunjin faltered as he reeled back, to which Minho used it as an opportunity to win.

“Oh sh-” The long haired man’s arm was an inch from hitting the table. He turned his head towards the blonde watching it all. “Felix...saranghae.” He flipped his hair and let himself lose, slumping against the table.

“Me versus you, are you going to surrender?” Minho said towards Changbin who stood behind him.

“No, but are you?”

“Never. Hyunjin move!”

Hyunjin still lay there fake dead.

“Felix, could you please take out the air fryer?”

Hyunjin jumped out of the chair.

“Pabbit, please take a seat.”

“You realize you’re pretty much half of me, right?”

“What do you mean?”

“I’m pig plus rabbit. …And you’re...rabbit.”

“Okay, and?”

“Everything you bully me about is directed towards yourself as well~”

Minho put on a poker face as he positioned his arm. “Then I’ll focus on the pig part of you.”

“PIG PART?!”

“On three.”

The younger sighed, matching his position.

“Two. One.”

Changbin was doing relatively well, and looked up to see his competitor’s face.

Minho’s face was point blank and staring at him intensely, seemingly without blinking.

“GAH- Hyung, you’re scary…”

“Are you going to cry wee wee wee all the way home?”

“I’m going to cry wee wee wee at my victory.”

-Bang.-

“Ouch.” The elder rubbed his arm. “Okay, Okay you win.”

“YES! EHEH.” Changbin rose up and ran towards the blonde, both giggling as Binnie gave him a tight hug. “I LOVE YOU MORE THAN ALL OF THEM!!”

“I can’t believe you guys held a whole arm wrestling competition.” Felix smiled. “I LOVE YOU BROS!”

Jisung got up and made a heart shape symbol with his arms. “BABY I LOVE YOU TOO.”

“I LIKE YOU GUYS A LOT.” Minho shouted.

“I LOVE YOU ALL.” Hyunjin screamed, joining in.

“I LOVE ALL OF YOUUU” Changbin yelled.

“WHAT ARE YOU KIDS SCREAMING FOR, WE’RE GONNA GET KICKED OUT!” Chan yelled, looking like he awoke from a nap with his messy hair all fluffed up. Father mode on.

He was followed by a sleepy Seungmin, sniffing the air. “Are you guys making something? It smells really burnt in here.”

Everyone in the baking group froze…and turned to the oven…

To which smoke was escaping out from.

“HOLY SHIT-” Jisung screamed.

Minho ran to the oven. “MY SOONIE, DOONGI, DORI COOKIES!”

“WAIT, TURN IT OFF FIRST” 

Gray smoke billowed out of the appliance, the cookies burnt to crisp along with some small fires lit on it.

Hyunjin screamed, just as the fire alarms of the entire house turned on, blaring loudly. 

Chan ran towards Minho, and began waving his arms to let the smoke fly away, but accidently smacked the second oldest’s face, causing him to drop half the cookies on the floor.

“MATE WATCH OUT-” Felix shouted, warning Chan who was able to dodge in time.

Changbin picked up a fallen cookie. “I don’t think they’re edible anymore.”

“Well, no SHIT, Sherlock.” Seungmin said, watching everything go down and eating some of the store bought frosting Felix bought.

“Don't EAT that!” Hyunjin yelled, smacking Binnie’s hand. 

“I WASN’T- Wait is this one of Minho’s cookies? It’s cat shaped.”

Hyunjin stared at it. “It is...lucky his burned. I dropped the dough on the floor and gave it to him. I was waiting for him to eat it.”

“You did what!” Changbin said in shock.

“TOOK THE WORDS RIGHT OUT OF MY MOUTH.” Minho called back. “HYUNJIN!”

“UH- I ACCIDENTLY MIXED OUR DOUGHS UP...WHOOPS…”

“I’M GOING TO MAKE YOU EAT THESE BURNED COOKIES ON THE FLOOR.”

“NO!” Hyunjin backed away, bumping to Seungmin who dropped the can of icing and spilled it on him.

“NOO! I LOVE THIS SHIRT.” 

“You should’ve watched where you were going!” Jisung laughed.

“Well! Watch what you say!” Picking up the blue frosting can, he scooped some into his hand and swiped it on Jisung’s face, Hyunjin snickered. “Bluesung is making a comeback.”

Jisung licked his frosting covered lips. “Bluesung is also sweeter than before. Give my sweet lips a kiss!” He ran towards Hyunjin, who ran away. “WHY ARE YOU LIKE THIS?!”

“I JUST WANT A KISS!”

Hyunjin screamed as the chase continued.

“Guys! The cookies are still burning-”

“CHAN! YOUR PANTS ARE ON FIRE!” Minho yelled, nodding at the knee of his pants.

“THEY’RE WHAT-” Chan began smacking his pants, desperately trying to unlight them.

“HYUNG, TAKE OFF YOUR PANTS.” Minho shouted.

“WAIT, WAIT, WAIT, YOU WANT ME TO WHAT?”

“TAKE THEM OFF!” Minho and Felix chorused as the flame got bigger.

“FOR HEAVEN'S SAKE, TAKE THEM OFF OR GET BURNED ALIVE, CHAN-”

Bang Chan fumbled with the buttoning of his pants, to which Minho ended up quickly yanking them off him instead as Felix pulled him back.

“I GOT THIS!” Changbin yelled, grabbing a water bottle and splashing its contents towards them. 

It splashed Felix in the face instead, the blonde boy releasing Chan and falling backwards into the trash can in surprise.

“UH I’LL GET SOMETHING ELSE.” Binnie turned around and grabbed what Seungmin held, thinking he was trying to help.

“WAIT-”

Pink frosting now coated Minho and Chan.

“Bro your aim sucks.” Seungmin said, watching a chunk of frosting slip off Minho’s nose. “I’ve got to take a picture of this…” He snickered.

Minho clicked his tongue. “Come here puppy, want a treat?” Grabbing another frosting can with a green tint, he started throwing the sticky contents at the younger.

“Uh. A LITTLE HELP?” Felix yelped, the trash can having fallen on the floor and taking Felix with it.

“We got you! You’ll be out soon, I promise-” Chan comforted, both him and Changbin trying to yank Felix out.

There was a twisting of the dorm room’s knob.

“...Guys, I’m-” The maknae started, before hearing the still blasting fire alarms. Dropping his bag, he ran to the kitchen entrance to see-

Hyunjin trying to shove blue frosting covered Jisung away from him as he was trapped in a corner, Minho pelting Seungmin with green frosting and Seungmin tossing sprinkles, Felix stuck in their trash can, with Changbin tugging on it, and a PANTLESS leader pulling Felix’s arms. On the floor was Chan’s pants with a small flame lighting it, surrounded by coal looking cookies and a smoking oven.

Jeongin took a step back, before running out the apartment and slamming the door shut. After a minute, he slowly opened the door and went back to where he last stood, taking in the same scene once more.

“These hyungs…”

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