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airenyah · 1 year

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i completely understand the ohm obsession and i cannot thank you enough for all your insights on acting (his and also in general) too! i LOVE reading what you have to say and learning from you at the same time! watching series (i also just watched the latest 10yt ep) feels like an even more involved experience now because i can actively analyse the acting (i keep coming back to your post to see how ohm does such and such) too! thank you x1000000 and please know that i am consensually kissing your ginormous brain <3

anon, ahhhhhhhhhhhhhh thank you so much for your lovely message, it delights me greatly!!!!!!!!!! I read your ask earlier and I was sitting in my bed at the time and once I’d finished reading I kind of just fell forward, burying my head into my blanket and squealing like a little child for like a minute, that’s how happy your words made me 💕

I’m so glad to hear that I managed to explain things clearly enough that others (in this case you specifically) can get something out of it!! honestly, I’ve been so shy when it comes to talking about acting here on tumblr because I feel like I can’t express what I mean very well. And the problem is what I’ve mentioned so far really is just a quick overview, there are many concepts I definitely forgot about (obviously I don’t have a list in my head, I just notice things as I’m watching) and those that I did talk about, well, I really didn’t go into a lot of detail there, it was more of a quick summary (there is SO. MUCH. You really can’t sum up 3 years of drama school into one single tumblr post hahaha)

and also, unfortunately I can’t just go and analyze a clip second by second while you listen. I mean okay yeah, in some cases and for some specific concepts gifs will do the trick (like in my bbs ep 3 sniffing scene analysis) but with a lot of things it’s just easier when you have the entire clip with sound and all, where you can also jump back and forth and then maybe go find another example for comparison to make things a little clearer

because often a performing concept or performing technique will be easier to understand when you’ve seen someone do it “wrong”. I’m saying “wrong” here in quotation marks because I’m only putting it that way for the sake of simplicity. There isn’t really a right or wrong here, it’s usually much more about “if you perform it this way then you’ll likely have this effect on the audience, if you perform it that way then you’ll likely have that effect on the audience. Which one do you wanna achieve as an actor?” Though, one can definitely say that performing a certain way will touch the audience more or they will have an easier time following the story and the emotions compared to performing it a different way. Again, it’s a lot like food: put sugar in one recipe and it’ll taste amazing and people can’t stop eating, put sugar in another and people will refuse to eat it because it tastes so bad to them, put sugar in yet another recipe and it might be perfectly edible but would probably be a whole lot more enjoyable without the sugar

what I mean by that is: it might come to situations where I’ll be like “this actor has this aggressive undertone 90% of the time and we’re half-way through the drama and it’s starting to annoy me and make me dislike the character and the relationship” or “this actor has no thoughts behind their actions and so watching them just bores me” (yes these are real-life opinions that I’ve recently had. No I will not be revealing said dramas publicly, but if anyone reading this is curious then feel free to come into my dms and I might spill the tea)

comparing various scenes of an actors using a technique well with actors using that technique not so well really helps with learning how to analyze acting because you’ll see the different effects it’ll have on you as a viewer when someone uses a technique well vs someone who’s bad at it

I do have some “bad” examples that I could tell you about and fun fact: that even includes แค่เพื่อนครับเพื่อน BAD BUDDY SERIES (my most beloved <3). but as I’ve said before, I just don’t feel comfortable sharing the negativity publicly, because I don’t wanna hurt anyone’s feelings. And I don’t like getting into arguments, especially public ones, so I don’t want to get any stupid comments on my posts or in my ask box. However, if you’re curious my dearest anon, you’re very welcome to come right into my dms for some deeper discussion on that. And you don’t have to be nervous about revealing your identity, because sharing my observations with you in even more detail would definitely bring me great joy💕 (this goes for anyone reading this, btw, feel free to slide into my dms fsjksd)

in fact, I wish I could do this one acting analysis project with you that I did with my friend!! quick backstory: back in november 2021 I watched this old korean drama and I ended up getting super obsessed with it because I realized there were remakes from other countries which I then also ended up watching and comparing all these version was a suuuuper eye opening experience for me when it comes to “well used technique” vs “badly used technique” (I learned A LOT from this when in regard to acting) And then half-way through the semester something came up in the uni course my friend and I attend together and I ended up mentioning some acting concept and realized that said kdrama & remakes were a perfect example of that and I wanted to show her

And this turned into this month long project throughout november 2022, in which I selected a sequence that had the exact same plot and context in both versions and I showed them to her in several rounds and let her do the analyzing first without me telling her a thing. So the first time around she got absolutely zero info from me, she knew absolutely nothing about the plot, or the characters or anything. I turned off the subtitles as well as the sound and let take a look at ONLY the visuals. For the 2nd round the only thing she got in addition was the sound but I still didn’t tell her anything about the plot or the characters. In the 3rd round I finally told her about the plot and had her watch everything with the context in mind. And only in the final round did I turn on the subtitles. After every round we spent at least an hour discussing everything that she saw or noticed or how she felt watching it but I didn’t tell her any of my own thoughts. I wanted her to make up her own mind first and discover things for herself. It was a quite interesting project, both for me and for her! And yeah, I wish I could do this with you because I’m sure it would be eye-opening for you! (you don’t happen to live in austria, do you? 😂 well, maybe we could figure out a remote solution with screensharing or something...)

also thank you for calling my brain ginormous 🥰 i'll accept the compliment, but let me tell you, it really isn't that big yet!! i wish you could hear what my fave monologue teacher and my camera acting teacher always had to say in class!!! and also, you should really hear what my mom has to say on performing, i feel like such a baby next to her. seriously, the THINGS she SEES?????

story time (sorry i know this is super long already): we were watching the eclipse together, right, and at some point after weeks, towards the end of the series when akkayan start dating, we were just watching this episode, right? and suddenly my mom goes: *pointing at khaotung* "he seems tense, his inner balance seems off"

and i'm just sitting there like "???????? what are you talking about???? they're literally just lying down in bed, HOW can you tell???????"

she tried to explain it to me but i was just left super confused. i think it was an episode later (or maybe the same episode but some scenes later?? i don't remember) there was another scene where they were standing upright and my mom hit pause and went "here, do you see how [insert explanation]" and i was like "oh. okay yeah. yeah that makes sense. i think i know what you mean". and then during the finale (i think?) there was another moment where i even noticed something before my mom said it and then she pointed it out and i was like "yeah i caught that too!!!!"

i also showed her the only friends trailer and there's this one shot where khaotung is sitting on the bed with book, right? and my mom paused the video and went "huh? that's funny. half of his body looks tense while the other half looks completely relaxed" (half meaning left/right, not upper half and lower half). again i was just sitting there like "HOW?????? HOW DO YOU EVEN SEE THIS?????"

(admittedly, my mother works in the medical field and she's close to finishing a 2(?) year training program as a massage therapist, so i guess she'd know about tense bodies from having first hand experience hahaha)

well, i'll stop it here bc i'm sure this is already over 1000 words long again oops. if you've made it all the way down here, then i really appreciated that and give you forehead kiss (if you like that, of course. if not then i'll give you a hug or a highfive or a wave or whatever else you're comfortable with). then again, you've also read my 3.7k analysis on ohm's acting so…

#adrm #asks #anon #honestly my mother and i have thought about making a reaction youtube channel where we analyze acting #and other kind of performances bc we've realized it always comes down to the same principles no matter what it is #i'm not even joking... i'm majoring in translation studies and my education in acting has been unexpectedly useful even for that!!#bc reaching your target audience is a big deal in translation/interpretation and i literally learned how to do that at drama school #anyway back to my mom and i's youtube channel idea...#the problem with that is i don't quite get how youtube works when it comes to being an actual youtuber #and how things work with copyright and stuff #and also i study two federal states away so i'm not actually home all that much #plus when my mom and i analyze it just gets very specific and very technical and as you've seen it's just really difficult in english #if it's already difficult for me you can just imagine how difficult it would be for my mom who can't speak english with that much ease yet #(she understands it without a problem but she doesn't have a lot of speaking practice so she struggles to express herself)#(and it would be even harder for her when trying to go into detail about what performers do)#but yeah it's an idea we've been toying with bc we think some people out there would absolutely be into it #ahhh in two weeks i get to go home for semester break and i finally get to get nerdy about acting with my mom again!!!!#truly it's like we speak our own language when it comes to performing

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spop-romanticizes-abuse · 8 days

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People complaining about og She-Ra's outfit but not He-Man reminds me of those twitter kids going nuts over some anime's character having big boobs or revealing clothes

The one that comes to mind to me is especially One Piece, cause the designs are infamous for being very unrealistic because of the woman's boobs, but them there's man characters that are 8 foot tall or super muscular or fat, they also complain a lot about the girls clothes as if Zoro and Luffy didn't walk around showing their chests all the time as well. Demon Slayer is another one, because of a character outfit that have a clevage and some twitter kids complained about being sexualized, but then they look at the male characters and go like "MAKE ME PREGNANT DADDY". This discourse with anime especially is pretty dumb because anime is well known for being weird, so is kinda useless complaining about this and those anime aren't even the worse cases, show stuff like Nanatsu No Taizai for these people and they would go on a cardiacal arrest

Because if a woman is showing skin is sexualized and disgusting but when is a man is alright and "hot". And if a man have a crush on a fictional woman is "weird" but if it's a girl is fine

(there's so much more that i can talk about this because this topic make me so mad! So mad that i made a good portion of my female OC sexy or thicc out of spite)

i have to disagree with this take. because i do think that a lot of anime is actually specifically catered to the male gaze. i won’t talk about the ones you mentioned because i haven’t watched those, but the male gaze and hypersexualization of women, especially teenage girls, is more than prevalent in anime. there are two main categories of anime - shōjo, which is made for a female audience; and shōnen, which is directed toward a male audience. and the hypersexualization of women is not surprisingly the most obvious in shōnen anime. even in the more recent ones like MHA, it’s clear that the girls are a lot more sexualized than the men, even when some of the male characters are drawn to be muscular and attractive.

which brings me to my next point, i don’t think these two are comparable. yes, a lot of shōnen anime have male characters who are tall and buff and have a lot of scenes with their shirts off, but because the target audience is male, this usually serves as a power fantasy rather than a fetish. i mean, sure, the audience may include women or queer men, but the target audience is straight men. for them, the super hot male character (or alternatively, the loser everyman character) is just a self-insert.

not to mention, the topic of sexualization also includes the question of whether this character is an individual in their own right. are they important to the narrative? do they have a personality other than being sexy, flirtatious or the butt of an SA joke? do their have their own lives and hobbies, outside of the narrative? are they an independent character in their own right? do their lives revolve around something other than their love interest?

the answer is yes for male characters (especially those who are part of the main cast) and no for most female characters (even those who are part of the main cast). you might have heard of the “sexy lamp trope” and it applies to a lot of anime female characters. because often times than not, their sole purpose is to just stand there and look sexy, and have a rushed romance with one of the male characters. even if the female character has some interesting aspects to her or has a cool superpower, it’s barely explored. *side eye at MHA*

and in general, the framing tends to be very obvious. there’s a lot of unnecessary focus on the female character’s tits and ass, there are a lot of “unfortunate accidents” with her and the male character, there’s the designated creep who gets away with harassing or even straight up assaulting the female characters and it’s played off as a joke. it’s a lot more nuanced than just the female characters having a curvy body or wearing revealing clothes, both of which are totally fine and doesn’t automatically make a character hypersexualized. it’s the narrative around it that’s fucked up.

obviously, i’m not talking about ALL anime. i’m sure there are good ones out there with fully fleshed out female characters (in fact, a lot of shōjo anime tend to be quite empowering for women). but it is true that anime is notorious for catering to the male gaze and treating its female characters very poorly. it’s not the same as OG she-ra, which was a show designed for a female audience and where, apart from wearing a somewhat short dress, there’s not much emphasis on adora’s body.

#i got too into this topic lol i had a lot to say #ask #tw sexualization #tw sa mention #male gaze

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pencilofawesomeness · 1 year

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What is Twisted Wonderland and how would you sell someone on it?

Ohoho. Ohohohoho. Anon. You have activated my trap card >:D

(I'm about to be soooo annoying/unhinged and I'm sorry. I'm not.)

Alright, so:

Twisted Wonderland is a Disney mobile game made in Japan and co-produced by Aniplex. (Yes, that Aniplex.) I'm not here to sell you on the game, so much as the story, but it is a sort of story-book rpg with turned based fights and rhythm games, where you build character units from a gacha pull. As far as gameplay goes, it's very simple, and most of the emphasis lies on the characters and the story. And it's wonderful.

The on-the-box description of this game doesn't do it justice, per se, but that might be because Disney has a little bit of influence on it and they suck at knowing who their target audience is. It is about a high school based on classic Disney villains—but no, not in the way you're thinking, because I once made that mistake too. It is not a villain school. Rather, the world of Twisted Wonderland is its own entity, with characters built as sort of nods or foils to classic Disney characters. The world itself is somewhat built with these films as its past, and history has become so twisted (ha) that modern society views some of these classic villains as the heroes or supporting characters of their stories, and respect them as The Great Seven. (The seven in question being the Queen of Hearts, Scar, Ursula, Jafar, the Evil/Raven Queen, Hades, and Maleficent. None of them are remembered by name, though.)

The game takes place in the modern era, a society with both technology and magic. Specifically, it takes place in a magic high school called Night Raven College, an all-boys dormitory prep school where the only requirement to get in is a magic mirror that peers into your soul and determines whether or not you can a) do magic and b) kin the Great Seven. And, of course, the player character is a regular-ass human who gets isekai'd in and gets stuck with a talking magic cat direbeast named Grim.

Now. That is the general synopsis. I, on the other hand, affectionately call this the Mental Breakdown game.

See, here's the kicker. The magic system is pretty nifty; while it's functions as a standard magic-is-magic sort of soft system, it has ✨consequences✨

Magic has this byproduct called blot. It's this icky stuff that builds up when you a) use too much magic and/or b) are emotionally distressed. But less so in a "I'm panicked right now" sort of way and more so in a "I have chronic depression and/or anxiety" sort of way. And, when a mage is powerful enough, and sad boi enough, and then goes and uses way too much magic and sad boi juice in one sitting, this amazing phenomenon occurs called "overblot"—which is pretty much a super-powered evil form that turns the mage into the darkest form of themselves and then uses magic until they die.

Naturally, this happens in the game. A lot. The formula is pretty much that each "book" of the story, there is an overblot. One for each of the seven dorms, which are based off of the seven villains/the movies they come from. (And "based on" is pretty loose. Yes you can see the similarities, but these are dumb teenage boys with their own hopes and aspirations, and, sometimes, the game completely lies to you about what character they emulate the most. The guy who's Jafar? Well yes but he's actually just a really stressed out Genie stand in. The Hades guy? Whoops that's Meg. Is that a card soldier or the White Rabbit? Doesn't matter, he's got problems.)

The characters are so well written. I could gush about them forever, and they are the driving points of this plot and it means everything to me. They are some of the most traumatized and messed up individuals, but also, they are dumb teenage boys who do dumb teenage boys things. It is all incredibly well balanced and startlingly realistic for a game that amounts to beating the emotional constipation around people. Mostly because it cannot be beat out of them. The blot can, but they have to deal with their emotions with their own two hands, with varying levels of success.

And the shenanigans!!!! Oh, the shenanigans. I call this the Emotional Trauma game but I have once laughed so hard someone heard me through the floor. It's not all doom and gloom for sure. Sometimes you're watching your friend fall apart because his toxic mother instilled debilitating perfectionism and slowly start making enemies of everyone and sometimes you're sending three of the most gremlin students plus one cinnamon roll to infiltrate a gala that a bunch of weather fairies are throwing in the greenhouse because they stole your temperature regulating magestone to be shiny jewelry and you want it to stop snowing inside your dorm room. And sometimes you can have the exact same character who experienced losing his little brother right in front of him gush about a magical girl sledding anime and all of his gacha games. It is the best of both worlds.

And, that's not all! No, no. We get amazing character interactions. Not just pre-determined friend group interactions, but also random interactions. Yana Toboso (the writer/artist) really likes to stick names in a jar sometimes and make them interact and it is the best thing ever. Every single one of these characters I hold in my hands. Every single one of them gets to have their moment to shine. You can emotionally invest in all of them and be rewarded for it.

The game itself is free and pretty easy to get into. There's not really a bad power creep so you can get through it with what you got. Of course the fun part of collecting cards is that there are stories attached to them that you can watch, and those are also sources of joy. (And it's well documented, so you can find things online pretty easily to catch up and see more.)

I just think it's neat. (Read: I accidentally became wholly obsessed with this game and its characters and they are all blorbos to me.)

You should definitely fall into this rabbit hole with me :))) It's so worth it :)))

#twisted wonderland #ask #anon #I could gush about the characters individually but #we would be here all day #anyway I love them all #and this game does a surprisingly good job with mental illness and neurodivergency #despite never naming any of it #it's pretty obvious though #even if not to the character themselves all the time #also this game is absolutely gut wrenching in the most positive way #it accidentally made me reconsider my entire life and well being #when I saw a little too much of myself in one of the characters overblotting #like WHOOPS I see the issue #but that's a me thing #anyway its very good and I can easily be enabled into blabbing about it more #this is just a very general overview really #and if that's not enough then know that in the first book #I character once says “no I am not going to put down the shovel I am still DIGGING”#and that's when I knew this was going to be fun #and then the end of the book I hear the VA of Tanjiro have a full cry and I knew this was going to consume me #is a very good story and a fun lil game

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darlingwriter · 26 days

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hi! i made this new sideblog because i want to branch out and try writing fic on tumblr (as opposed to ao3), seperate from my normal stuff. anywayyy, hey, hi, hello. you can call me vi. i have no clue what i'm doing.

some faq/get to know me nonsense under the cut:

what kind of fic do you write? i mean, honestly, i write all sorts of things; original work, poetry, tragic longfics, passionate essays about gender equality, extensive lists, notes app ramblings, etc etc. but specifically i want to try out writing reader insert fic stuff on this blog, because it's a style that just really intrigues me for some reason, especially as it's not very prevalent in the general literary world.

what sort of reader insert fic? literally most kinds hahaa. fluffy romantic cutesy shit, platonic goofing around, hurt/comfort, angst, the list goes on and on.

do/will you write smut? yeah, sure. i'm not interested in writing super hardcore kink stuff or anything, because 1) i just don't wanna and 2) i'm really not super educated in that area, but generally, yeah, i'll write smut.

will you take requests/asks/prompts? omg omg yes please i'd be so honoured. obviously i can't promise to write something for every ask i get, but please please please feel free to reach out!

what fandom/characters do you write for? currently experiencing a call of duty hyperfixation at the moment for reasons incomprehensible even to myself, so, right now, probably just going to be sticking to that. i have so so many fandoms, but i don't want to stretch myself (or this blogs target audience) too thin. but i might branch out later, who knows?

you fool! you absolute jester! you've forgotten to include a vital piece of information on this list!!! aaa, my bad, please reach out to me via ask or dm, and let me know! i'm like, perpetually sleepy and forgetful at the moment so it's more than likely i forgot to add something important to this. i am sorry in advance, it's my fault for quitting caffeine.

what anon signatures have already been claimed? 🧃

#writers on tumblr #writeblr #fanfiction #fanfic #fic #cod mw2 #cod #call of duty #cod x reader #call of duty modern warfare #task force 141 #tf 141 #fic writer #fanfic writer #asks open #requests open #fic requests open

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downywrites · 10 months

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I still haven't learned how to tag properly :')

"N-now, now. We don't need to be so h-hasty, do we?"

Heizou took a step back, eyes flicking back and forth to the walls surrounding him. The shadows blocking the only way out chuckled, each in their own unique way. The detective cursed his lack of foresight: he knew reinforcements were to come, especially in one of this specific band of treasure hoarders' bases.

He hadn't, however, expected them to be here as quickly as they were. The anemo user had been doing fine taking down the waves of thieves, before the sound of footsteps forced him to take flight. It was just his luck, then, that the hoarders had so many dead ends in their base.

His face paled as they drew near, blocking out what little torchlight there was to see their (probably triumphant) faces. Holding his fists up in a fighting stance, he narrowed his eyes at them. "Seriously, guys. I was just assigned to check your stuff, nothing more! Why don't we settle this with a little slap on the wrist and I'll make my way out!" The redhead chuckled nervously as they backed him further into the wall behind him. Icy cold stone grazed his back. "Ah!- C-come on, wait a minute. Let's talk this ou-"

In the darkness, someone's hand grabbed his wrist. "Stop talking." Instinctually, his other hand came up to punch at the attacker. However, in the almost pitch darkness, his fist found air. His heart beat like a jackhammer as the grip on his arm tightened. "Boys, get him. Don't let this one escape."

If the situation as a whole did not set him off already, the obvious threat made his adrenaline spike. "N-No!" He swung again, eyes widening in the darkness as his other wrist was caught. Pulling at his arms and kicking at the men's legs, he felt a few of his strikes hit the target. A grunt of pain made him grin a panicked smile. "Ow, he got me!"

Another laugh from the first hoarder made his hair stand on end. "Too bad we already got him. Knock out the shrewd little thing. We've got a special tip from someone about this one. And besides, I think it'll be fun to mess with him after all that arresting he's been doing." A pressure on his neck made him gasp and kick out again frantically. 'No, no, no, no!' Even as he struggled, though, he knew it was fruitless. He had no advantage in this situation, especially with him being pinned in such a way. The pressure increased. The sensation of incoming unconsciousness soon followed. With the last of his strength, the anemo user sent out a weak blast of air from a kick, hoping that someone-anyone- would notice his absence.

The leader of the group grinned as he went limp in his hold. "You know what to do, right?" The others made their assent known. "Tie him up to the interrogation rack. You know the intel, right? I think he'll be more than ready to talk."

–

Heizou awoke to the sound of..nothing. Odd. The area that he lived in was noisy. So why..?

"Ah, look who's awake. Took you long enough."

A hand, certainly not one of his fellow detectives, scratched under his chin condescendingly. Eyes snapping open in both surprise and fear, Heizou tugged at his arms. The rough texture scratching at his skin made him wince. "What-?" It took a few moments of blearily looking around at his very unfriendly surroundings, however, for him to realize what had happened before he lost consciousness.

Glancing at all the people standing around him, he chuckled nervously. "Ah, I guess I have an audience." The treasure hoarder's hand moved to his cheek, a spot of prickling warmth he wanted to pull away from. "That you do. Now, I've heard that you've stuck a lot of our men in the slammer. Tell us where they are and how to get them out.. and you run free." He left the unspoken threat out of his words. "So, little prodigy..are you going to be a good pal and tell us, nice and easy? Or are we going to have to give you a little more 'hospitality' here?"

Heizou hesitated, eyes flickering to meet his for a split second. He stopped, turning away from him. It could have been mistaken for shyness. Moments later, the chortle he let out rang within the warehouse. Shoulders shook in the dumbfounded silence. "...really? You think threatening me with pain's going to help your case?" A crooked grin spread across his face as he looked back over to the shocked man. His eyes glittered with mischief. "Oh, do go on. Anything you say against me could be and will be used against you in court."

The leader rolled his eyes. "Oh, great. This again. Anything new? Every government official and their mother says this stuff to us."

"But never under pressure," Heizou replied. "Nobody I know would be gutsy enough to do this. And the only reason I'm doing it is because I know you can't do anything to me."

"Oh? Why is that?"

"Because if you hurt me.. I wouldn't tell you a thing. There is nothing you can do to rattle me. Nothing has been able to shake me, even during the most rigorous training underneath my higher-ups." Confidence oozed from his voice as he spoke. "What could you possibly do that they haven't already trained me for?"

From his spread-eagle position, Heizou was in no way able to escape (or even anticipate) the soft, sudden sensation from behind him. A single finger, teasing and testing the waters, barely grazed at one of his exposed ribs. Eyes widening, he squeaked at the touch.

He turned away from them to hide his blush, but there was no way they hadn't noticed one, if not both, of the telltale reactions. 'Please tell me they're not going to do something outside of my training regimen. Please, please tell me they're not.' The person behind him chuckled. "I think you were right about that intel, boss. The kid detective's a wee bit ticklish." Blood rushed away from his cheeks, before returning with a passion. "H-hey! First of all, not a kid. Second of all, d-don't even think about it! I-I'm not that ti-er.." His voice gave out mid sentence. "Ti-tickl.." He hoped to any archon listening that they didn't notice his failure to deliver.

It seemed that they were not listening.

"Aww, the kid's so ticklish he can't even say it! And he's so flustered that he didn't even pick up on the fact that one of his lil detectives ratted him out." Heizou's mind snapped back into focus. 'Wha- somebody gave them intel..? But who would-' The stream of thought he had was readily silenced by another light whisper over his ribs. He bit back a whimpery laugh, eyes scrunching closed. The leather creaked as he tugged on his wrists again reflexively. 'Damn it, I can't focus when these people are around me! I need to get the info to headquarters before something else gets through. But first..'

"W-what did they say about me? That I would be here at this time?"

Wine-colored hair got into his face as he whipped around to find the person who spoke in the darker areas of the room. A small reflection, most likely a coin from the size of the blip, shifted in the general area. "Oh, no, no. All they said is that you'd be too hard to crack the normal way." They moved closer, revealing a smirking face and a wiry, thin frame that reminded him of an old, ragged cat he saw on the streets a few days ago. "Oh, and that you're a little tick-lish." The space in between the two syllables was drawn out with another flip of his coin. Surely, this man was up to no good.

A small shiver went up his spine as the person behind him followed the edge of his rib. "Gh! Cut it out!" The person smiled, ruffling in his coat for something. The dark shade of the vesture gave him no idea of where his body began and where his clothing ended. If Heizou was in any state to do so, he'd taunt him with that idea. Whoever was behind him was not making that action an option, though. He wasn't sure if the person would speed up or move. Any show of weakness could mean his 'demise', of sorts. "Ah, there it is~" He pulled out an artifact, red and white with a gleaming shimmer in the thin lighting. Shifting it around so the light bounced off of it, he made eye contact with the steadily more nervous detective. "Oh, don't look at me like that. It's not going to hurt you." The man moved closer. "Unless you're nervous that you'll let something slip when we're tickling you?"

Heizou had nowhere to go. Eyes wide and worried, the anemo user tugged at his hands again as he neared him. He shook his head. "D-don't you dare. Don't you dare!"

Slowly, almost painfully, the feather grazed the underside of his chin. His mouth wobbled a bit, tugging at a small smile. For the second time, he squeezed his eyes shut to avoid the looks he was bound to get. "E-he!" His 'attacker' chuckled, a sharp, almost acrid sound in the near silence around him. "Aww, look at him! Such a big, dignified detective, but he can't even keep himself from giggling at a stranger's touch!" The murmurs of assent around him only made the light touch worse. Heizou tried tucking his chin. A gloved hand grabbed him gently by the jaw. A warning. "Ngh-hehe!"

"That's the spirit, kid. Look, I don't think anyone here wants to rough you up too bad. We ain't that mean, we know you prefer sweet-talking. Nevertheless, even the sweetest talker knows at least a little info we need.." Heizou squirmed around weakly, protesting through his choked laughter. "Noho, cohome ohon! Thahat's nohot fahair!"

"Not fair? I think we're being pretty nice by giving you all this time to get used to us tickling you. Unless you want us to go faster?" He shook his head no, but the treasure hoarder ignored it with a knowing smile. "Oh, of course I will! Anything for such a cute little detective." The tease in his voice made him whine through his protesting. "N-NoHo! Ihi dihihidn't sahahay thahat!" Fingers dragged across his jaw, stopping the insistent spark of ticklish energy in favor of teasing at the sensitive skin. With the last little bit of self restraint, Heizou stopped himself from giggling too giddily at the gentle touch. If he showed he actually didn't mind this too much…

Unfortunately, it seemed like one of the sharper-eyed criminals noticed his relatively carefree behavior. "You know, for all of that protesting, you don't seem to be pulling away from Boss' hands. Do you..like this?" His eyes, already scrunched from his forced smile, scrunched closed again in a weak effort to ignore the tease that set his stomach aflutter. "Nahaha! Ihihi dohoho nohohot!" Even as he spoke, their boss' hand trailed over his sweet spot with little knowledge of where he was touching, grazing his nails over his trembling jawline and scratching ever-so-lightly behind his ears. He leaned in with a small smile. "I don't think lying will help you right now, detective. Anyone with a sense could see that someone who is as strong as you could definitely have struggled more than you have." His retort came out strangled and desperate. "Nohohot soho! Ihihi knohohow behehetter thahan toho trihihiy!"

Almost without warning, the hands that traced up his ribs before found his ribs again, scribbling in the divots with pinpricks of blunt pressure. The sensation ripped through his body like a shock of cold water, forcing a gaspy squeal out of his throat. Whoever was behind him found that amusing, a soft cloying chuckle ringing in his ears from their mirth. "Ohh, how cute. He squeals, darling! I wish we could 'interrogate' him forever!" Unable to escape the tickles, he squirmed against his bonds with a renewed sense of desperation. The woman behind him (he guessed it was a woman), however, gave him no way to relieve himself of the sensations. Her honeysuckle voice dripped with the sweetest honey as she teased him in more ways than one.

"Do you think this cute little detective's sweet spots are on his chin and jawline? Because his cute little giggles were to die for then~" He shuddered at how spot on she was. "Oh, I think that was a yes." And, before he had any way to refute that, her nails scraped lines over his upper ribs, slipping underneath his clothing to tickle the soft, covered skin with a little giggle. "Eee! Nohoho mohohore, plehehease! Nohoho mohohore!" Heizou couldn't believe his own words. 'Begging? Because of…this? How low can I go?'

If the people around him thought the same, they didn't say anything about it. A few of them muttered little comments to each other, setting his nerves on edge. 'What are they saying about me? Ugh, this is worse than I thought. I need to get out, and fast!' The treasure hoarder in front of him finally spoke again. "So, Shikanoin-san…will you talk?" The woman behind him slowed her touch to a tortuous slide of nails against his ribs, moving upwards to his exposed underarms. He tugged at his arms uselessly, before shaking his head. "Ihihi wohohon't gihive ihihin toho thihis!"

"Ahh. That won't do. Darling?" The woman spoke with an excited lilt to her voice. "Yes, dear?"

"I think we'll need to wreck him. As you expected."

The words sent a shiver down his spine. Small flashes of anemo flickered around him, lashing in desperation at the lady behind him. If she paid it any attention, Heizou didn't know. "N-no, dohon't!" Her nails dragged burning lines to the edge of his underarms. A raspy chuckle from the man in front of him and another hand making contact with his trembling bicep. Biting back a whine and turning away from the two of them as well as he could, he flushed deeply at the embarrassing pre-emptive giggles that spilled from his unwilling mouth.

He couldn't stop himself from squealing when her hands finally scribbled in his underarms. The shocks of ticklish energy made him buck and squirm like he was actually in pain. "AHA! NAHAHaH- PlEhEAHASE!" As if spurred on by his pleading, the nails focused more on the spot that made his arms tug on his restraints. "Nuh uh, no mercy for you until you give us the location. We have all day, little cutie~ oh, and we have tools, too! Isn't that fun?" Wound up and sensitive from all her teasing, the ticklish haze he was in did not do his usual eloquence justice. Instead of snarking back like he intended, all that came out was garbled, breathy laughter. "Seriously, hun. Can we keep him? His blushy little face and his sweet little laugh is something I'd wanna hear every day!"

Through teary eyes, he saw the outline of the leader circle behind him as well. Underneath all of the teasing, fluttering sensations, a burst of panic seized him. It must have shown in some way, because the man soothed him with a pat to his shoulder. "Don't worry, kid. I'm not going to hurt you." That gave him little comfort. His hands, rough but very, very careful, skirted down his ribs to squeeze at his sides. He smiled at the squeaky, pleading laughter that Heizou couldn't tamp down well enough. Alternating between scribbles and insistent kneading at the firm muscles there made the poor detective babble out nonsense. The female treasure hoarder cooed at the sweet reactions he made. "Oh, detective~ What's wrong? Speak up, sweetie. I can't understand you."

"EeE! PlEHe- aha! Naha! IhiIEE!" The detective threw his head back, trashing about in his bonds as well as he could muster. Unable to beg for mercy or speak in a coherent way from the fuzzy haze of overstimulation and embarrassment, he did his best to squirm away from their curious fingers. Fingers shifted from his underarms to rub slow circles in the hollows in a weak calming gesture. Teary-eyed, his laughter calmed down enough for him to beg properly within a few minutes. "Plehehease, noho! Mehehercy, mehercy! Ihihi cahaHAn't tahaHake thihihis!"

The treasure hoarder hummed, as if he was lost in thought. "Hmm…how about no? Luhu, get me the blindfold and the tools. Don't let him see them." Luhu, whoever that was, made a noise of affirmation. Another shot of adrenaline filled his senses. Of course, nothing came of his struggling and small flickers of fearful (but mostly desperate) anemo. Without his vision on his hip, it was nigh impossible to channel his flow of energy. It didn't help that he couldn't move enough to generate enough energy to begin with.

As the footsteps behind him got louder and quicker, and as the sound of a table being settled behind him came and went, he sagged in the bonds with defeat. If he was any lesser of a detective, he would have accepted his fate with a tone of fear-tinged despair. Fortunately (and this was the only thing he found fortunate about this) he was strong enough to keep his chin up.

After the noises subsided, the silence in the room made the already existing butterflies in his stomach take to even more perilous flight. He clenched his fists together, tightening his grip until his nails dug deep lines into his palms. "So, are you going to talk to me now, detective?" Heizou shook his head weakly. "I-I won't." He squared his jaw and tucked his chin in to protect himself. A hand, gentle on his heated skin, tilted his head back up. "Nuh uh. Keep your head up so we can hear your pretty little giggles. I want to hear you babble through your laughter, cutie." Whining softly at the sweet lilt of her voice, the detective did his best to ignore the butterflies that took flight in his stomach. A slow, burning line of sensation sparked in the edge of his jawline as her hand moved. The other treasure hoarder grinned at the silent sign of submission.

Eyes the color of sand darted about nervously as his footsteps neared his restrained form once more. "A-ah?!" His hand explored his ribs again, grazing against the raised ribs with much less finesse. Even though his inexperience with such actions was obvious, the poor anemo user was too wound up to take much more than what the two of them were dishing out. So, as a soft brush scraped against his bicep, the couple weren't surprised at the subsequent gasp and violent jerk from the bound man.

"No- plehehease dohohon't!"

"Aww, begging again? Already? Maybe you're more wound up than we thought you'd be."

His breath hissed between his teeth as he bit down. Copper bloomed in his mouth. He didn't mind it. Thrashing about as the bristles sent sparks up and down his arm, a small, garbled plea escaped through his defenses. If the interrogators noticed the way he had bit through his skin, they didn't say a word. Continuing to tease with the softest of touches, their hands and tool sent more shivers down his spine than he thought was possible. He was a strong detective, and yet…

The ticklish energy spread through his body, leaving him defenseless, weak.

He hated it. And yet, when the brush danced from the edge of his arm and teased the back of his ears…he couldn't do anything but whimper through his light laughter. "His face is so cute…look at him, darling!" Tucking his chin into his chest to protect himself was the only option that went through his head. A hand darted out to tug his head up again. "Hmm. I thought you'd behave after all that begging. Guess I was wrong."

The treasure hoarder's hands dug into his sides without warning, forcing a bark of startled laughter from him. "There we go. No more of your little misbehaviors, or we'll make this worse for you." His cheeks reddened at the way his voice failed him. "A-AHahA! IhIHi- ehe!" The woman's brush sent tingles down his spine as it scraped against the back of his neck. His hair raised at the soft, almost nonexistent touch. "Ple-EhEASE!"

At the first coherent word they had been able to rip from his unwilling throat, the two of them leaned in to listen. The gesture was almost condescending, a mockery of the way they thought of him before. Heizou didn't have the energy to worry about it.

"I-ihi'll tahalk."

#downywrites #lee!heizou #genshin impact tickling #genshin tickle #my writing #my fics

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incorrect-koh-posts · 2 months

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You said "which is a tragedy in its own right as far as my tastes are concerned, but I digress", but I'm curious to hear your thoughts on this. I hope it's okay to ask, but what kind of fics/pairings would you like/prefer to see emerge from the fandom?

Of course it's okay to ask, dear anon!

Personally? I'd love to see more variety. One of the chief reasons why I enjoy reading fan fiction is finding new things I like - perhaps some pairing I hadn't considered before, some batshit premise or crossover that turns out to be actually brilliant, or maybe a cool genfic that explores previously unseen sides of a character or character dynamic that people don't write about very often. I'm not really the kind of person who seeks out fic based on specific tropes. Once I've read a story with a certain trope in a fandom, it's pretty unlikely that I'll go and read another one with a very similar premise, unless I really enjoy the author's writing.

So what I'd be excited about seeing in the AO3 tag would honestly just be: something new. For instance, a sapphic Sibylla/OC fic would be such a fascinating read (as would be anything at all that explores Sibylla's character a bit more). Or a Saladin-centric fic - sign me the hell up. I'd adore finding something for Godfrey or Imad, and we all know a new Tiberias fic would have me foaming at the mouth. I'd also love an interesting and/or wacky AU (and I'd write one myself if I had the time). Make it Jane Austen and let Baldwin have a gentleman suitor, while Sibylla elopes Lydia-Bennett style with Guy, and Godfrey and Raymond grump about in the Navy. Write a daemon AU (as in His Dark Materials) in the canonical universe. Or throw them all into the 21st century and let Reynald send Saladin threatening messages via fax.

I know the KoH fandom is much too small to engender the sort of variety I'd ideally like to see, and it's only reasonable for writers to sort of double down upon the fic premises and tropes that have done well in terms of hits and comments in the past and write more of the stuff the majority enjoys. As far as taste goes, I'm aware I'm the complete outlier here, and I really don't mean to antagonise anybody with this post or insult their writing or reading preferences. I'm glad your fics are doing well, folks, I truly am - it's only that I'm very likely not the target audience for them. Sometimes I just wish I weren't the only freak in the circus, lol.

(The post anon is referring to is this one btw.)

#asks #kingdom of heaven 2005 #my fandom rants #kingdom of heaven fanfic #do ignore my whining though #my thesis has me stressed like a nervous rabbit and i'm not in the best of moods atm #but honestly this fandom's laser focus on one (1) character and like three (3) tropes baffles me sometimes #there are SO MANY interesting characters in this film and nobody ever writes about them #does no writer appreciate the supreme twinkliness of yusuf's eyes?? godfrey and his big sword? raymond being a sad wet dog?? horsegirl imad #a tragedy #yes this is a post brought to you by me #the KoH fandom's resident old man connoisseur

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dailyadventureprompts · 11 months

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We've known for a long while that people find different things about d&d to be fun and what archetypes they fall into, but I'd posit that within the framework of everything that is "Dungeons and Dragons" there exists several wildly different games/forms of fun that all from a part of the d&d ecosystem.

This was brought up during a discussion with my partner when we were talking about the build for her bard. She LOVES playing d&d, it's one of the highlights of her week, but her brain just doesn't give her the happy chemicals when it comes time to do anything related to character building: levelling up, managing her inventory and spell list, charting out what her abilities do, all these things are a chore she puts up with so she can play at the table with our friends. Compare that to me, who loves building characters so much that I have an ever growing stable of concepts I'm never going to get to play, some of which are so developed I not only have them planned out from low to high level but have gone so far as to make playlists about them.

My brain clearly does give me the happy chemicals when dealing with character stuff, to the point where one of my favourite things as a Dm is trawling through my vast archive of 3rd party content to help a player realize a mechanical/flavor concept that might otherwise be hard to nail. Further contrast that with the older generation of tabletop characters who invest almost nothing into characters and throw that into meat-grinder dungeons, or the folks who spend years debating build optimization on forums but seldom ever rolling dice at the table. We're all playing very different FORMS of d&d.

This variance applies to nearly every aspect of the game: dungeons, combat, roleplay, story, but because we don't have strong terms for as many of these variables as we should we end up with mismatches, especially when narrowmidned folks start talking about how the way they play d&d is the RIGHT or ONLY way to play it.

There's a lot of communities that are guilty of this ( anyone who's ever complained about the Critical role effect for instance) but strangely enough one of the biggest ones is WotC, who's trying to make OneDnD for a VERY specific group of people

They play online

They play official modules almost exclusively

They don't use much 3rd party material, if any

They are willing to accept limited character customization for sake of ease.

Not only does no one I play with fit inside that group of people, it's a profile that more accurately fits MMO players, a group of people that broke off from d&d's target audience somewhere around the 90s. You have to wonder how much of the shitshow OD&D has amounted to is all just a reaction to world of warcraft biting into Wotc's bottomline

#dapper digresses #one d&d #1vonednd

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chamerionwrites · 2 months

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🧂

The problem with prose in the style of “she breasted boobily down the stairs” is NOT that it is horny (I support horny prose!) nor even that it is offensive and objectifying (slightly spicier take but imho You Are Allowed To Write From The POV Of Wretched Misogynists Sometimes is a logical extension of You Can, Should, and Arguably Must Write Unlikable Characters; obviously it’s worth criticizing when an author shows zero ability and/or desire to write from any POV but that of a wretched misogynist, but as far as general principle goes I’m always going to come down on the side that there’s nothing inherently wrong with writing bad people).

No. The problem with prose in the style of “she breasted boobily down the stairs” is quite simply and straightforwardly that it is BAD WRITING. It tells us nothing about the woman in question, except that she has a nice rack (or at least that the POV character thinks so). It tells us nothing about the POV character, except that he’s a basic bitch who likes tits (groundbreaking stuff for your Very Cishet Male™️ character). It’s not even good at being horny!!!!! Sure, perhaps it could be argued that I, Chamerion, am not the target audience when it comes to the luscious allure of boobs. But imo genuinely good erotic writing should be able to make desire legible to any audience. If you’re describing a hot woman, and doing it well, then a straight woman or a gay man or even somebody who’s ace ought to be able to see the appeal. (If you’re describing a hot man and doing it well, then a straight man or a lesbian or an ace reader should be able to see the appeal!) And if they can’t understand any part of the attraction even intellectually, then you have failed at your single most fundamental writerly job: conveying feelings with words.

In all seriousness - rule number one of descriptive writing is that sentences such as, “the puppy was cute,” or “the woman was beautiful,” are all but empty of meaning. And yet descriptions of desire for women are constantly like ooh her skin was soft. Ooh her hair was shiny. Ooh her curves filled out her dress. Ooh her breasts were the perfect size. WHAT THE FUCK DOES THIS MEAN, YOU MEALY-MOUTHED ASSHOLES. YOU HAVE TEN SECONDS TO TELL ME WHY THIS SENTENCE DESERVES TO TAKE UP SPACE IN YOUR NOVEL. Again, I freely admit that I am not the authority on feeling verklempt about boobs but I do have it on excellent authority that people who DO do not all agree on what “perfect size” means, unless by perfect size you mean “I am imagining that they might fit nicely in my hands,” in which case SAY THAT. Like, even saying that her shirt had one button too many undone - it’s far from an original description of desire, but at least it conveys information (that she got dressed in a hurry? that she’s trying to catch the eye of someone in particular? that she likes to dress a little daringly, and the POV character appreciates daring? we might not even know at first from the context, but it’s a description that at least has us analyzing and asking questions!). It may not be the sharpest and most specific description on the planet but it’s miles ahead of the boob-shaped Rorschach inkblot that is “perfect-sized breasts.”

Anyway. I could go on at length about the kind of writing that I think does convey desire effectively, and maybe I will elaborate later, but this is the heart of my cranky-old-man-on-the-porch rant. I’m not saying we should talk less about the sexism of certain authors. But I do think we should spend MORE time sending them to art jail for the crime of being unutterably formulaic and boring.

#show don’t tell motherfuckers!!!#on writing #beauty #ask box #my posts

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olderthannetfic · 3 months

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This recent talk about authors has me curious: Do you have favourite authors? Or favourite books that you'd recommend (as in not specifically recommend to a person looking to read a specific genre etc. but rather a book you loved reading and would love to shove into absolutely everybody's faces if you could)? Do you only read in English or do you also like to read in other languages? What book or books are you currently reading?

And just so these aren't one-way-street-like snoopily curious questions: my favourite authors are Emma Donoghue and Hannah Kent; my favourite books are "Slammerkin" by Emma Donoghue, "Burial Rites" by Hannah Kent, "Christmas Eve Kittens" by Wilma Counts, Cathleen Clare and Debbie Raleigh, "Every day" by David Levithan, "Der Kristallpalast" (The Crystal Palace) by Oliver Plaschka, Alexander Flory and Matthias Mösch; I'm currently reading "Time of the Magicians" by Wolfram Eilenberger and anxiously awaiting Hannah Kent's most recent book "Devotion" to be translated to my native language.

I am very bad at accurately sorting books into genres, but I'd guess most of the books I've read may be classified as YA, though I personally don't know what classifies a book as YA apart from "is written with young adults as the target group," but that's too broad a description to be useful to anyone in my opinion, heh. Some things I've read I'd sort into (also way too broadly classified) stuff like romance (Christmas Eve Kittens), crime or detective fiction [Krimi in german combines both] (for kids The Three Investigators and The Famous Five, and arguably for adults Sherlock Holmes, Miss Marple, Hercule Poirot though I've only seen Poirot films not yet read Poirot books, shame on me!), horror (Fear Street series as horror for kids and Lovecraft for adults), historical fiction (books by Hannah Kent and Emma Donoghue, Lilac Girls), historical nonfiction (Time of the Magicians and The Visionaries by Wolfram Eilenberger), steampunk (Der Kristallpalast, World Shaker, Steamed, Magierdämmerung), nonfiction (Zoo Station: The Story of Christiane F.), poetry (Heinrich Heine and Edgar Allan Poe) among other things like light-hearted children's books (St. Clare's series).

Some of the aforementioned books are classified as YA, and in my opinion reasonably so, though I do believe that classifying YA as a genre itself is quite useless since it only describes the target group but barely describes what a book is about, if that makes sense.

If I had to write down some classifiers for YA, I'd say it's maybe books that are written in a way that's accessible to a person who is no longer a child but still may be likely to not have experienced much of the adult world yet and may not necessarily be very well-read or knowledgeable about more "mature" topics on a deeper level. I'd guess that for example a book that's about topics that people may have come into contact with during their adolescence in some way may be YA like drugs (Blue Highway by Diane Tullson) and emotional rollercoasters and bullying (Thirteen Reasons Why by Jay Asher, Easy Meat by Maureen Stewart) and stalking (Unheimliche Nähe by Patricia Schröder) and mental illnesses like eating disorders (Jeansgröße 0 by Brigitte Blobel) or depression and physical ilnesses (Before I Die by Jenny Downham, Skellig by David Almond though it's mainly about fantasy and arthritis isn't the focal point if I'm not misremembering) etc. (all of the examples are YA I've read and would also classify as such) or maybe a book that contains entry-level knowledge about philosophy that you may have learned in school or that you may yourself have come across in some way unrelated to school but that doesn't require deeper knowledge on that topic or on specific philosophers or philosophy schools for its target audience to understand well...

Now that I've forgotten whatever point I wanted to make: sorry for rambling, I've been sitting in your askbox trying to remember the titles and looking up their translations and the authors' names for the past hour or so instead of doing the household chores I had planned to do today lol. Off to eat bread for lunch because now I'm too hungry to cook, oops.

Have a nice day!

I'm currently reading Invitation to a Banquet: The Story of Chinese Food by Fuchsia Dunlop.

I don't have any books I want to thrust upon everyone. I think that's a good way to breed haters for things I love.

In general, favorite authors of mine are... hmm... Agatha Christie, Tamara Allen, Loretta Chase, Georgette Heyer, Mary Elizabeth Braddon... IDK. It's hard to think of people off the top of my head. I like the current indie "m/m romance" scene in English, but it feels like it's still early days for that industry, and I can't think of a lot of authors I love who have multiple series and who aren't going through a career slump. (Like I love Jordan L. Hawk in general, but his latest stuff isn't making me rush to read more even if I'm still backing his Patreon. KJ Charles not only irritated me with dumb posts but started writing suckier books till I no longer buy her at all.)

I've read a lot of Golden Age detective fiction and some hard boiled US stuff (think 1930s and 40s). I've probably reread those sorts of books more than any others. While I certainly have authors I like, I only very, very rarely reread anything, and a lot of what I read is by non-prolific or long-dead people, so I don't have a bunch of names I go to the bookstore for currently.

My grandmother owned a fuckton of Three Investigators books, so I devoured those as a kid, though I think most Americans my age don't care about them.

I read in Spanish too. The only thing I've gotten through a lot of that springs to mind is the capitan Alatriste series. In general, if I travel somewhere Spanish speaking, I'll try to pick up some books, but I usually end up with things that are too highfallutin and literary for my taste or that are real downers. (Plus I'm a slow reader in Spanish, so the more literary stuff is a slog.) I like fun trash, and most of the fun trash I've seen on bookshelves is translated American romance novels and that kind of thing. I'll read in translation, but not if it's from English.

I do read manga in Japanese, but I'm not anywhere near good enough to read novels at this point.

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player1064 · 3 months

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kate for someone reason thinking jamie is homophobic not sure why or how but she does (sara has me obsessed with the idea that they can’t stand each other now lol) and then him introducing her to gary and she’s like 🤯 ft. micah in the corner like you didn’t know he never shuts up about him???

god Kate and Jamie literally CANNOT STAND EACH OTHER!!! I'm OBSESSED with that dynamic tbh!!!!!!! As always. this one is much longer than intended...

Also, don't need to have read it but this is technically intended to tie in to my fic Happy wife, happy life (but tldr Jamie regularly calls Gary his wife partly to keep their relationship under wraps but mostly bc. he finds it funny to call Gary his wife.)

---

“Obviously we’re done for the season right before pride month kicks off,” one of the CBS producers is saying, eyes darting over something on an iPad. “And since you four have been pretty popular we were thinking of including you in some of those ad campaigns, so if I could just get some dates off of all of you –”

“No,” Jamie says immediately.

All three of his colleagues snap their heads up to him, but only Kate looks at him coolly and says “no?”

Micah, because he’s Micah, chuckles and slaps Jamie in the shoulder, trying to diffuse some of the new tension in the air. “Not like you to turn down extra cash, Carra.”

Jamie rolls his eyes, pretends not to notice the way Kate’s eyes are burning into him. “Check my contract. Wish I could, honest,” he says to the producer, feeling very very glad that he had a clause added to his contract specifically so that he doesn’t have to take part in things like this, “But it just wouldn’t be do-able. You lot ‘ave fun, though, with yer rainbows and yer glitter.”

Kate just looks at him incredulously. “This is one thing you decide to take a stand on, mister ‘I don’t care about politics’?”

Rainbows just don’t really suit Jamie, is the thing. Nor does the extra scrutiny that comes from wearing rainbows.

Doesn’t really matter to him what Kate thinks of him, though, so he just shrugs and continues packing up his stuff for the day.

“Jamie – Jamie, I finally got onto Raya, can you have a look at my profile?”

Jamie looks up at Micah with a frown. “What the fuck is a Raya?”

“It’s a dating app,” Kate says from her end of the desk, in that unimpressed tone of hers that makes Jamie wonder why she’s bothering to insert herself into the conversation at all.

“An exclusive dating app,” Micah corrects, wiggling his phone in front of Jamie.

“Weren’t you already seeing someone?” asks Jamie, but he accepts the phone with a sigh and puts his glasses on. “I don’t – I’ve never used one of these things, what am I meant to be lookin’ at?”

Micah shrugs. “Didn’t work out,” he says breezily. “How have you never used a dating app, you’ve not been married that long. And look at yourself, you can’t tell me you weren’t a player before Mrs Carra came along.”

Jamie had got around a bit, in his playing days. Not much, mind, because he’d had to be careful, but he’d done alright. Unfortunately – and this is not something he’ll ever admit to anyone, even under duress – any thoughts of that had gone out the window the moment he’d walked onto the Sky campus after retiring.

“You’re right,” he says with a wink, “look at me. As if I’d need an app to find myself a bird. Why’d you want me to look at this, I’m not exactly your target audience. ‘less there’s somethin’ you’re not tellin’ us,” he adds, elbowing Micah and waggling his eyebrows.

Kate looks on unimpressed as the two of them double over in laughter. “Not that any of us would have a problem if you were, right Jamie?” she says haughtily.

Jamie catches Micah’s eye and has to fight back another bout of laughter. “Dunno,” he says, “I can think of one or two problems I’d ‘ave if Big Meeks here suddenly tried hittin’ on me.”

Micah bursts out laughing again, his hand clapping to Jamie’s forearm, and Jamie can’t help but join in – it’s infectious, okay?

“God,” Micah says, wiping a tear from his eye, “can you imagine how your missus would react. I’d never be able to work in television again.”

“Nah, she’d prob’ly send you a fruit basket, thank you for taking me off ‘er hands.”

Kate clears her throat and the two of them sober immediately at the sight of her raised eyebrow. “Maybe cool it with the outdated banter,” she says, “or do I need to remind you boys that you’re not in a dressing room anymore?”

She storms off, he heels click-clicking away as Jamie and Micah look at each other and try (and fail) not to start laughing again.

“You didn’t want to bring your wife to the end of season party, then?” Kate asks politely, looking slowly around the room.

“Huh?” Jamie says eloquently, because he’s had a couple of glasses of prosecco and he’s not thinking as quickly as he usually might. “Oh, the missus. Yeah, she’s here but – I dunno, she’s a bit shy, like. You didn’t invite Malik?”

Kate rolls her eyes, the way she always does when Jamie mentions her boyfriend. “Well, he lives in America. So.”

“Carra,” an annoying voice calls from just behind him, “Carra, come over ‘n meet Schmeichel? I’ve not seen ‘im in years, d’you know, I think I’d forgot how tall he was.”

Jamie puts a hand on the small of Gary’s back to keep him from bouncing around too much (the man is such a lightweight, it’s embarrassing), and says “I’ve already met Peter, you dolt. I work with ‘im, remember?”

Gary squints at him for a second. “You drag me all the way down to London, and then y’can’t even be bothered to –” he finally seems to realise that Jamie had been talking to someone, because he quickly shakes his head around a bit and holds a hand out to Kate with a smile. “You’re Kate, right? I love what you do on the show, honest, I’m always sayin’ people need to be meaner to James here.”

Jamie thinks he sees Kate blush a bit, like she hadn’t realised anyone else had noticed her dislike of Jamie, but she takes Gary’s offered hand anyway. “And of course you’re the famous Gary Neville, I’ve heard a lot about you,” she greets. “But aren't you still with Sky? What brings you to our little operation here?”

“Scopin’ out the competition,” he says with a wink, then turns back to Jamie. “Carra – Peter?”

“I said no! I’ll talk to him later, stop badgerin’ me.”

“Did you two travel down from Manchester together?” asks Kate, “You know, Jamie seems so invested in my relationship but none of us have ever met his wife, do you know where she’s got to?”

“Ah, his fuckin’ wife,” Gary mutters, smirking up at Jamie. Jamie winks in reply and slips his hand down a bit to pinch him on the arse.

Micah comes over, his tuxedo strained against his biceps, and he pulls Gary away from Jamie to throw an arm around his shoulder in a half-hug.

(Gary squirms a bit at the unexpected contact, but he still gives Micah a friendly pat on the chest.)

“Big Nev! It’s been ages, man – Jamie told us you were coming, but he’s promised that before and not delivered.”

“Been pretty busy, up in Manchester,” Gary says with a shrug, carefully extracting himself from under Micah’s arm and returning to Jamie’s side. “But I’m obliged to do the plus one thing at least two –” (“Three,” Jamie corrects,) “—fine, three times a year, and I figure there’re worse places to be.”

“Aw, you love it really,” Micah says. “I’ve always kind of wondered what it’s like to be a WAG.”

Gary rolls his eyes. “It’s a thankless job, to be fair.” He pokes Jamie in the bicep and adds “I’m going back to talk t' Peter, you miserable old twat. Honest, I’m always talkin' to Scousers fer you.”

“I already know –” Jamie starts to protest, but Gary’s already wandered off. “Ugh. Sorry about ‘im. You can’t take Mancs anywhere, can ya?”

The two Mancs he’s talking to look at him, unimpressed.

“He seemed nice,” Kate says carefully.

“He’s not,” Jamie replies.

“Good summer?” Micah asks, their first show back after the break.

“Brilliant,” Jamie replies with a grin. “It were my turn to choose the destination, so –”

“Ibiza?”

He nods. “Ibiza. The house was done just in time, too.”

“You know, I can’t really imagine Gary in Ibiza.”

“Oh, he hates it. Complained the whole time, but he does that wherever we go.”

He becomes aware that Kate is watching them from across the desk, not trying to hide that she’s listening to their conversation with curiosity. Jamie nods to her, all polite like. “Hows about you, Kate, good summer?”

“It was fine, I –” she shakes her head. “Sorry, you’re saying you go on holiday with Gary Neville?”

Micah scoffs. “Who else would he go with?” he asks, and Jamie points to him in agreement.

“I dunno, his wife?”

Jamie blinks.

He thought he’d got all this out the way, dragging Gary along to the party a couple of months ago. Apparently not.

“Gary is my wife,” he says, then suddenly feels very stupid saying that to someone who’s not already in on the joke, so he corrects to “my husband, I mean. Obviously he’s not – he’s a man. Obviously.”

Kate’s eyes are wide, unblinking. She looks between Jamie and Micah, lips pressed together while her brain seems to be buffering.

“You’re married to a man?” she says eventually. “But you’re not gay, I mean – you’re –”

Jamie, who last time he checked definitely was gay, raises an eyebrow, amused. “I’m what?”

“You’re a footballer,” she attempts, and oh, this is far too easy.

“Bit ‘omophobic, that, sayin’ footballers can’t be gay,” he replies, holding back a smirk.

“Oh shut up, you know what I – you’re a lad! You’re always with the banter, and the…”

Thierry wanders over, freshly brewed cup of tea in hand. “What have you two done this time?” he asks, looking pointedly at Jamie and Micah.

Jamie raises his hands to protest his innocence.

“Thierry,” Kate asks, reaching a hand out towards him, “did you know Jamie’s married to a man?”

Thierry rolls his eyes. “Ugh, fucking Neville,” he replies, and goes to sit down.

#thank you for the prompt I LOVED this and also. I've been waiting for an excuse to write more for that fic so heheeee here we are #carraville #drabbles #also in this universe since i never got into it in the main fic or in this drabble. jamie and gary got together after valencia #except it was more like a weird situationship/fwb thing for years and then they spent lockdown together and when things opened up were like #'hey why dont we get married lol'. and now are very happy together (always insulting each other)#wife gary saga

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