#also 2 of my main interests colliding wow

[pegasusdrawnchariots]

Nate: If you could choose someone from "The Odyssey" that most resembles me, who would it be? Sophie: Well, um... The hero, obviously. Odysseus. Cunning warrior, master of disguise, and it means "trouble" in Greek. Nate: I think I'm like a siren. Sophie: You sing the songs that lure the sailors to their death. Nate: Yes, but not just any song. Sophie: No, no, no. The song that offers them their deepest desire.

#Leverage #quotations #lines from the show that made me insane #I have never seen a siren-coded male hero let alone one who categorises himself as such IN CANON #whoever wrote The DB Cooper Job I am free tonight jsyk #also 2 of my main interests colliding wow #The Odyssey

[clay-tries-his-best]

! atsv spoilers !

when i sat down in my theatre seat to see atsv im telling you i was being the most autistic fuck you've ever witnessed. you could practically see the sparkles in my eye, dude.

the spot. my godddd he's so silly. the marketing ploy to make him seem like the side villain from the trailers was so fucking smart. I really thought that Miguel was going to be the main villain considering him fighting miles in pracgjcalky every trailer ever and being in the post-credits scene of itsv. and miles dealing with having to be everywhere at once was very realistic and gave me the classic "oh my god this poor boy this is painful to watch". oh and gwen's beginning scene of the drums just gave me the feeling that the movie was going to be fantastic. like, betrayal, amazing visuals, more gwen?? already a wonderful start. also the fact that the spot's whole reason to turn into a major villain is that nobody, not even the person who caused his disfigurement, would take him seriously- like- HUH???? perfect. wonderful. bro just wanted miles to pay attention to him for a little while.

Pavitr and Hobie were also really great additions to the spider team. Despite the fact that Hobie's accent was so thick and deep that I couldn't understand what he was saying a good third of the time, he still managed to work his way into my top 5 characters of the movie. THAT is good character building. At first I thought he was going to be the stereotypical love rival, considering his first mention was miles getting jealous of him and gwen being friends. I was worried that was how the story was actually going to go when he upstaged miles by breaking done the collider force field, but hes actually a really chill and cool guy. pretty sure he even roots for gwen and miles, so that's pretty funny. Pavitr was also super funny with a great character design. " Chai means tea, you're just saying tea tea! " was probably one of my favorite lines / jokes from the whole movie. His world was also very pretty and SUPER detailed. Props to every artist for Mumbatten.

Miguel and Peter B.'s dynamic was really fun to watch as well. This cryptic emo ass mastermind vampire who has watched people die and destroyed a universe next to this middle aged man in a pink fuzzy bathrobe who's oogling over his daughter. also, the line where Miguel said " I've had the right amount of you today " to peter b instead of " I've had enough of you " like the normal saying goes was kinda queer. just saying. but yeah, great villain, and I do want to see him in the final battle against spot, but I eventually don't want him to be the one to beat spot, y'know? If it was to be anyone, it's obviously going to be miles. Whether it's just miles or miles and gwen or miles and the gang gwen assembled at the end of atsv (WHICH HAD SPIDERNOIR YESSS SPIDERNOIR FANS LETS GOOOOOOO I HAD THE STUPIDEST SMILE ON MY FACE WHEN I SAW HIM IM TELLKNG YOU), in the end it's still gotta be miles.

the collider scene with the spot was really cool. spot may be silly, but he's not dumb enough to be " saved " by his archnemesis who only cared about him when he was about to become a transdimensional eldritch horror. boss move. his final form was really pleasing to look at because you can just see the detail that went into it. Looking at some screenshots, I noticed there were a lot of eyes and I'm pretty sure I saw a version of spiderman (original world 1610 peter, possibly?) staring at miles / the audience. despite him not showing up for another hour, hour and a half, I wasn't mad. If a movie can avoid showing the main villain for that long and still have them integrated properly, just, wow. blown away. oh and this part made me even more interested because his beginning ost, spot 1, I think? his random beats and tunes sounded more silly and disorganized and clumsy, like him trying to take the atm. near the end, he got spot 2, which was more shrill and frightening. I'm not musically trained, and I could still tell that it was scarier, and to me, they sounded very similar. To not have too far of a difference between the two and stroke two entirely different chords is just. ugh. wow.

don't even get me started on prowler miles... RAHHH THE CHARACTER AND WORLD DESIGN FOR UNIVERSE 42!!!! it was so beautiful and scary and breathtaking because there is. no. spiderman. when miles's mom didn't know what he was talking about and gwen wasn't really outside, it hit me like a brick in the head. and alternate aaron??? hello??? he made me physically uncomfortable because of how terrifying his face was. i couldnt even tell if he was wearing makeup or he was just that dramatjcally shaded. the turn miles does to see that it was his dad painted on the wall instead of aaron.... GRAHHHHHH

as an aspiring artist, I can say nothing but wow. that movie, the fact that it was 2 HOURS AND 20 MINUTES???? HELLO??? DO YOU KNOW HOW MUCH WORK THAT MUSTVE TOOK??? unbelievable. and you know that sony felt bad for making us wait on a cliffhanger, so they probably were around 3/4 done with atsv and started working on beyond, so we didn't have to wait as long as we would've if they finished atsv and then started beyond. I'm so glad that those 5 years in the Sony team paid off, because that. was. amazing. my depression is vaporized. im going feral, going wild, going insane. i will not think of anything else until beyond is out. can't wait to see my bbg spot have his villain moment in March 2024!!! <333

#spiderman #spiderman atsv #atsv #atsv spoilers #miles morales #gwen stacy #pavitr prabhakar #hobie brown #across the spider verse #peter b parker #miguel o'hara #spiderman 2099 #spider gwen #spider punk #spider woman #spider noir #spiderman noir

[solena2]

thoughts/analysis of davepetasprite^2

My feelings on them are kind of mixed! On the one hand, I think they’re an incredibly interesting character with a ton of potential, especially in fanwork, but on the other hand they get barely any screentime in the comic proper and pretty much the only thing they manage to do before heading off on their suicide mission is tank any chance of Davesprite ever getting to complete his character arc in a satisfying way.

As far as canon goes, I think they were probably a poor choice to add in. They don’t get enough of an arc to justify sacrificing a character as interesting as Davesprite for them, and there are some seriously uncomfortable implications attached to their whole “I got fused with a catgirl and now my depression is cured” thing. I think they could have been great if they’d been given room to really explore those implications, but they only get a couple logs worth of characterization before collide, so it ends out pretty unsatisfying, at least on my end. The way it’s framed, it’s almost like they’re supposed to be the conclusion to Davesprite’s character arc, rather than being their own character, which is just… no. You don’t get to conclude a character’s arc by turning them into a different character, that doesn’t work. That’s the start of an arc, not the end of one. Not the last one, at least.

For fanwork, though, I love them. There’s so much about them that’s worth reading into, and they’re incredibly interesting if only because their existence has necessary and intriguing consequences for any setting they’re placed in.

They’ve got memories from two different people, without really being either of them. In Dave’s case, they were the spare already and they’ve got a fair bit of trauma about it, so becoming an even “faker” Dave is bound to have some kind of effect on them. In Nepeta’s case, they’re the only version of her left, and the fact that they can’t be her, even while she’s a huge part of them, is going to Do Things to their head.

I also think they’re lying to themself about not having depression anymore. Like, they know they’re probably going to permadie to Lord English when they head off to fight him and they do it anyway, despite literally no one asking them to. That is not the behavior of someone with a healthy attitude towards the inherent value of their own existence. I’d give even odds as to whether the constant cheer is consciously a front or if they’re repressing so hard even they don’t realize how not ok they are.

I’m genuinely surprised there isn’t more fic of them struggling with The Gender Thing. Like, they’ve got memories of being both a boy and a girl, and they decide to be neither upon entering existence? There are some implications there. Like, do Dave and Nepeta have repressed Gender Feelings? Was Davesprite an egg? Them immediately picking a new gender doesn’t necessarily indicate that at least one of their components was looking for an excuse to trans their gender, but it certainly indicates something. And honestly, that not being the case would have it’s own incredibly interesting implications. Like, is their gender an extension of their identity issues? It could be. I’d read that fic.

Speaking of identity issues… wow, am I right? They’ve got at least two different kinds of impostor syndrome, three years of getting called a fake version of themself on one end and three years spent as a ghost interacting with dozens of alternate universe versions of themself on the other, and that’s not even getting into the whole ultimate self thing.

Basically, I just… I love them. They’re wasted in canon but fandom is fully capable of realizing their potential in its stead and every time I find a fic that does it well I end up rereading it multiple times because they’re just such a delight when they’re written well. They’re also the only nonbinary character in the main body of Homestuck and I’m not about to lie and pretend that doesn’t give me a massive bias towards them.

#they’re my second favorite character after hal tbh #if you want some good fics with them in a major role i could rec a couple. they can be hard to find #sol speaks #sol answers #homestuck #davepeta #davepetasprite #davepetasprite^2 #homestuck analysis #original post

[senstless]

Splinterlands BATTLE MAGE SECRETS Featuring Explosive Weaponry - Blasting Away My Enimies

Featuring Bronze League Summoner and Monsters in Action!

I am back with another battle-made secret highlighting explosive weaponry with my bronze level deck. This will be a great showcase strategy I use, and in this case I defeat a fairly evenly leveled up silver deck with mostly level four rares and Commons which are a couple of levels of both my heart. This just goes to prove that it's not always the level of your cards and the lineup you pick is a huge impact.

CHALLENGE RULES

RULESET: Explosive Weaponr

Description: All units gain the Blast ability.

Additional damage is equivalent to main damage divided by 2, rounded up.

Include a unit with Reflection Shield in your lineup to absorb blast damage and protect your back line.

Reasons Why I like it

I think exclusive weaponry gives the game a very interesting twist. It can make certain cards do significant damage in different parts of the lineup and before. It's very difficult to defend against blast damage from a team that is heavy sneak or snipe or opportunity focused. This means cards can be attacking the front, the middle, or the back of the lineup. Ideally I would prefer to focus on the middle of any lineup for my attack which can take my attack and multiply it essentially by 3. Primary attack would hit the first card and both cards on the right and the left take a 50% damage assuming they did not have reflection Shield.

The Matchup - Where Rules Sets, Splinters and Mana Collide

The Rule Sets

Watch the Match Here

MANA: 34

Ruleset: Even Stevens: Only monsters with even mana may be used.

Ruleset: Explosive Weaponry: All monsters gain the blast ability.

SPLINTERS: Fire, Earth, Life, Dragon

Initial Rule Set and Mana Gameplay Thoughts

** Rulesets The two key takeaways from the ruleset lineups are Even Stevens has removed the majority of cards that have the Martyr ability. This means you can no longer Bank on the fact that a splash damage will take out the mortar card that will in turn give two cards an additional boost.

The other big wheels that change is of course the highlight of this post which is explosive weaponry. I plan on trying to have some magic attacks, a snipe attack, and of course a reflection Shield. Overall I think that will be a good lineup for the real set

Mana Man I was a little low at 32. While it's not terrible I sometimes get use to hire manna's and get in a mental bread of wanting to play some very beginning and a powerful cards ** Splinters He only take away that I really have from missing water and death is that I cannot use the water melee opportunity cards with trample to try to run amok.

Summoner IMMORTALIS I chose immortals for a couple of reasons. I feared that they would try heavy magic with the splash damage and wanted the additional void, I also wanted the shatter ability to help get rid of any pesky armor together my way.

First Position MYCLEIC INFANTRY Wow I will say immortalis has given mycilic infantry a second life. Adding void to this card really makes it useful as a primary tank again that Shield is just such a beast for anything but magic attacks, but now the addition avoid helps it stick around a little bit longer.

Second Position VENATOR KINJO I am planning for the primary attacks to be coming on my first tank and thus I will put it here to utilize its reflection shield.

Third Position GOBLIN PSYCHIC To magic damage tag plus tank Hill I think it's a pretty solid choice, hoping that it's tank Hill is able to keep mycelic infantry in

Fourth Position QUEEN MYCELIA I like a magic attack, plus adding extra armor for all of my monsters is always a bonus. This will help defend against any mailing and arrow attack and it splash damage to round.

Fifth Position HUNTER JARX I could not get away from the three arrow attack snipe feature that should provide significant damage if it hits.

Sixth Position FUNGUS FIEND Hoping to attract either an opportunity or sneak attack to take away some hits on my other card.

Opponent Lineup & Match Play

Summoner QUIX THE DEVIOUS Pretty solid choice here, the decreased speed and range attack speed will be troublesome. Most of my cards are already pretty slow and I'm starting to have a really significant to speak differential. You don't get any explosive damage if you don't get a hit in the first place

NAGA BRUTE Great card, and one I think I still need. Has huge void armor plus five health. Unfortunate for them my shatter should help negate that white armor

CORSAIR BOSUN A heavy fitting reflection Shield monster. Makes perfect sentence second place and will deal out some significant damage to me.

TIME MAGE Not excited to see a second reduction of my speed, this will mean that they get quite a run on me before I get it

BATTERING RAM Typically not great at this level without a boost to melee, but given the splash damage I think is actually a pretty good choice especially if it can happen to attack middle of lineup

VRUZ Another solid choice given to sneak and splash with a super high speed of 5. Will not doing a lot of damage, it has the opportunity to take away health intuitively cards every time

DHAMPIR INFLITARTOR A great choice especially at level four. I don't have one at this level since my son is can't support it but getting a double strike two melee hit with three speed is a huge danger to me and I line up. This is a great card once it gets this level

Round 1

Quarter round starts things look fairly even but I think the key takeaways will be my shatter ability to get through their significant armor and get straight to attacking their lower health. This assuming I can actually get a hit.

Around starts out my fears are realized as my opponents entire team attacks before I get a chance. I lose my rear guard fungus finger but it is eventually my turn after that. I get my attack from Queen micilla, and while it does no damage it does shatter their armor and expose their role for health. The second significant attack of mine is triggered from Hunter Jarx where it targets and hits time page. It does enough damage to knock it out, as well as knocking out battering ram. That snipe splash damage proves to be very powerful as I get a double knockout. I close out the round by knocking out Naga Brut

Round 2

Found two starts off and things are leaning in my favor. Once again they get to attack and secure yet another knockout against me by taking out Hunter Jarx. Luckily for me Ventor.Kinjo keeps blocking all that splash damage and I get to take my turn. Once again Queen micellar drops the hammer on cosar Bolson, it's not the one magic attack that does any damage, it's the shatter that takes away all of their shield. This attack is quickly followed up by goblin psychic which doesn't take out boeson, but the splash damage is luckily enough to take Vruz. As the game is starting to look lopsided, my ceiling infantry hits Cosair bosun and a splash image is enough to take out Dhampi Infiltrator.

I have shockingly won the match in two rounds. When this match originally started I did not think it would be anywhere close to being this quick matchup and I'm actually quite surprised. I believe the real key to my victory was the shatter ability provided by immortalis. Having a magic card with a guaranteed hit in most cases also deliver a shatter can really change the tables up.

Thoughts - and Chances to Win Again

~~@senstless

#splinterlands #play2earn #playtoearn #nft #gaming

[shititbe]

Anyway, HSM2 is about internalized homophobia, and no one can tell me otherwise.

High School Musical is one of the most beloved franchises in the world. Teenagers all over the world grew up watching Troy and Gabriella harmonize together. Three movies, and nearly a decade later it’s still beloved by all. The first film easily forgotten in the ashes of the early 2000’s, the third film stuck in a purgatorial limbo of the rather unfortunate late 2000’s. The second film on the other hand sticks out between the ruckus. 

The second High School Musical film takes place at Sharpay and Ryan’s family country club, during the summer between junior and senior year. The Wildcats are working summer jobs on the country club, often forced to the beck and call of Ryan and Sharpay themselves. Sharpay uses all her prestige to help Troy with college instead of starting at the bottom ( or rather, in the kitchen washing dishes) with his friends. In the time she’s helping Troy, she is also pushing her brother away; replacing him with Troy in their musical number for the talent show, and refusing to hang out with him in preference for Troy. Ryan becomes vengeful to his twin and starts hanging around the Wildcats in the kitchen. At first, he was met with some distasteful looks and words (most of which from Chad). With the help of Kelsey, and her neutral party, Ryan fits in smoothly with the other teenagers, eventually giving the WildCats all dance lessons.

 Throughout the movie, the main conflict continues to be the internal conflict of Troy Bolton. He debates over and over again if he should go through with Sharpay’s shenanigans, or if he wants to “listen to my own heart.”  This of course involves Gabriella, as she is Troy’s love interest. She’s not in the second film except for the beginning, then, where she leaves in the middle of the film - in order to create angst for Troy - then when she shows up again in the finally to sing/rejoin Troy. 

The conflict in the second film  is the combining of Troy’s two worlds. His first - his main world in the first movie, that hence became his secondary world - which is represented by Chad. Then his secondary world - which becomes his main world in this movie - which is represented by Ryan. Chad represents Troy’s masculinity, or his more idealized version of himself. Ryan represents Troy’s femininity or his current version of reality. These two worlds collide in the iconic song “I don’t dance”.  

Since this movie - and hence this scene - came out in the early 2000’s, a lot of the innuendoes went over people's heads. Luckily, as the children who watched this movie grew older and more experienced, and the world became more accepting, we’re able to see this song for what it is. 

Before getting into the lore and symbolism of the iconic “I Don’t Dance” sequence, context is needed. For most of human history, homosexuality was seen as a sin in all places except ancient times (see: Greece and Japan). The modern age is the most accepting on all fronts, such as sexual orientation, race, and religion. In the early 2000’s, High School Musical director Kenny Ortega was not publicialy out yet. He wouldn’t be till 2014. 

Originally, while writing this, my first thought was  that Kenny - the director - would be using Troy as a y/n type character to project his insecurities and struggles with masculinity, and what that means in defining his orientation and societal views that would be placed upon him. Then, it came to me later that this is in fact not the case, Troy (and Gabriella - who is in fact a y/n character for the female audience) is more of a character for a man of his time, confused with his own ideals of masculinity and the views of society because, “oh god, I can’t like theater/drama because only queer people and girls like it!” The second point is pushed further with the Troy and Sharpay sub-plot. Sharpay tries to further Troy’s career as a basketball player, though that’s not what he wants anymore, and Troy is no longer sure if that is what he ever wanted to begin with (enter the song “Bet on it” and the hilarious meme “no dad, I’m giving up on your dream”). 

Keeping these things in mind - Kenney’s queerness, and Troy’s struggle to realize you can in fact sing and be a heterosexual, wow, revolutionary - it became clear to me that Kenney’s y/n characters were Ryan and Chad. 

For those who aren’t into the arts, or find them too difficult after a singular attempt thinking they could write a world class novel on the first go, let me be the first to tell you every author has a y/n character. First, for those who don’t know what y/n stands for, it’s a popular fanfiction trope where a writer will write a story about a character dating, being friends, and so on, with the reader. The y/n stands for “your name” so anyone can be the main character in this story at any time. For a writer of mainstream fictional work, such as High School Musical, Game Of Thrones, Lord Of The Rings, Pride and Prejudice, Harry Potter, Hunger Games, even most comics. Now, most writers or directors aren’t going to be as obvious as having a character not named (or named y/n) or even named Jane (looking at you Jane Austin), the y/n character of many mainstream authors/directors/comic artists and so on is usually the character they feel or have given the most attributes similar to themselves. 

It’s the same reason people have favourite characters. You see a fictional character and you either 1. Want to Bob the Builder them, 2. Some sort of weird sex thing, or 3. See more/the most of yourself in this character. Number three - thankfully - is usually the main reason. Some people just create their own favourite characters. An even easier way to think about this, is just projection baby, that’s psych 101.   

Before I went off on a small tangent of fictional works and how human emotion plays into creating them (except anything Disney has made in the past decade, and no you can’t change my mind on that) I mentioned that Chad and Ryan are Kenney’s y/n characters. As a queer person myself, it’s clear for me to see the different struggles each of these characters face and how these reflect the queer experience. 

So, let’s finally get into it. 

Ryan, without it being explicitly said is clearly a character of what people in the early 2000s think a gay man is. He is effeminate, wearing bright coloured outfits with lots of accessories - namely his signature hats - he is also in the theater department doing musicals, and passive/subservient to any of his twin sisters' wills. Yes, now we know gay men aren’t just feminized men, but in the early 2000’s a gay man who can do "masculine" things like change their car oil, like sports, and so on, break the "effeminate" stereotype thus confused many cishet people. Sharpay is painted as more confident - or, for sake of comparability - masculine to her twin in the first movie, and most of the second movie. Making Ryan a bit of her dog who would do anything to get by - painting Ryan as lesser than human, once more, playing into the homophobia of the early 2000's.     

Despite the clear stereotypes playing into his character, Ryan is consistently one of the most confident characters in the movie. The other, being his sister of course. This confidence in himself is what gravitates the other characters towards him, either by being intimidated (Troy, thinking Ryan and Gabriella were a thing), or admiration (Chad, by the end of “I don’t dance”). 

Chad, on the other hand, is a whole different ball game. While he is confident in the first movie, and the first portion of the second movie, he begins to break more and more when Ryan becomes a more integral part of the Wildcat group. To keep in mind, Chad is also the most vocal about his distaste for Troy’s artistic past-time. When the other Wildcats join Ryan and begin learning how to dance for the talent show at the end of the movie, Chad is also the most vocal about his distaste. The baseball game where “I don’t dance” takes place, is the climax of Chad’s arc and his turn towards acceptance to Ryan/Troy’s hobbies. 

Of course, there is more to the “I don’t dance” sequence than just Chad’s realization - the exact one Troy comes to terms with in the second movie as well - of “oh my god I don’t have to be gay to enjoy stereotypical ‘feminine’ things.” That is the main part of the song though, that and all the sexual tension. 

Going back to what I’ve stated previously, Chad and Ryan are Kenney’s projection or y/n characters. Let me do a small recap before we get into the nitty gritty of the famous “I don’t dance” video. 

Thinking back to the first few paragraphs, I stated that Kenney wasn’t publicly out till 2014, about 7 years after the second movie came out. This could be due to the fact that a) it’s the early 2000’s and everyones still very homophobic, or b) self-doubt that comes with the queer experience. The most likely reason is a mixture of both of these. Because of this, Ryan is the more self-assured version, or idealized version of Kenney that he wants to be. Ryan is confident, never being swayed about his lifestyle (could be read as: sexuality) even though Chad - and most of the wildcats in the first movie - put him through relentless “teasing” and humiliation. He’s confident, almost to a fault, he’s sure of himself, and yet still reaches out a hand to Chad and the other wildcats to show them that they’re just being, kinda dick-ish. 

Every queer person wants to be Ryan. Despite his heavily stereotyped characterization, I personally believe he is one of the stronger written characters in the movies, mainly due to Kenney putting the time in to really make Ryan feel like a real person, to give himself some sort of relief of his own anxieties, a chance to see the world through a person who truly has no fear. Unlike Kenney himself. 

This is where Chad comes in. 

Chad is seen as “confident” in the first movie, the second Troy “leaves” basketball though, all that confidence comes crashing down. His best friend has another hobby - one he thinks is “not right” (it’s okay, you can say gay), - they wont be spending all their time together (first, can you say dependent relationship much, yikes).Chad’s defining characteristic up until their fight that instigate act three of the second movie, is being Troy’s best friend. I’m going to take this as if this were truly the case, and not a decently written character arch. Some people base themselves around their friends and their whole identity on being a friend, that they lose sight of themselves, this mainly in high school of course, when your whole world is really nothing but school, and friends. Newly developed independence is there, but that’s scary, so instead of worrying about the future, cling to something that’s reliable. I’ve seen this happen, mainly at the end of high school, when the “real world” is coming a bit too close for comfort. This could generally be the case if a person is lonely, but for timeline sake I’m going to say Chad has got some anxiety about graduating (considering the second movie takes place the summer of junior year). 

His lashing out at Troy’s hobbies and at Troy’s neglectful friendship, make more sense with that background, and are seen more in the second movie where Troy begins spending all his spare time with Sharpay (trying to collect that BAG!). Chad - and others (read: father) - insists that music is not a feasible career option, and Troy should just stick with basketball (like...that is a feasible career option). The tension Chad creates in the studio only grows when the other wildcats decide to take up Ryan’s offer for dance lessons and move from the kitchen, to helping out with the talent show. (Next essay idea: how high school musical two was really about class all along, cause Jesus). 

 Chad is the less obvious option for a y/n character. Though again, the 2000’s were not as cool people like to pretend they are. Chad - for Kenney - represents what he actually feels, this fear of being rejected for how he is and how he chooses to live his life/lifestyle, so he sticks to something reliable. Ryan is new, and exciting, and confident in a way that Kenney/Chad wish they could be, but in order for that to happen they need to understand that maybe people are complex creatures, and can enjoy multiple hobbies (aka: the same lesson Troy is teaching the viewers, but far less boring). But, for Kenney/Chad facing that thought and that realization is scary, and thus, they lash out at anyone (read this paragraph as: Chad mad jealous of Ryan cause Ryan bomb as fuck). 

All this build up, finally comes ahead in the employee baseball match 

                                                       ******

The baseball game is probably the most memorable scene in the whole High School Musical franchise (minus Sharpay’s “Fabulous” solo, but that’s also from the same movie, and it’s kinda rude to give what’s already the best more points); the tension in the scene, and what it implies makes it the best written segment of all three movies, let alone the most entertaining. 

Some things to keep in mind from our background information: Chad is missing his bestie and struggling with what being “masculine” really means for him and others. Ryan of course makes this confusing, because the traditional method is being thrown out the window. In short, Chad has internalized homophobia, and Ryan being open - or as open as Disney would let him - is causing all sorts of problems. 

Despite the song, “I don’t dance” being logged into our collective skulls for all eternity (you’re probably humming it right now, sorry about that), the very brief interaction of Ryan and Chad before the game is lost on the public consciousness. The two are clearly comfortable with each other, though the distaste seems to be on Chad’s side more than Ryans. So, the two start playfully jabbing at each other before deciding to do a bat toss to see who will be in the outfield first. 

Before they begin the bat toss, Ryan says “You don’t think dancing takes some game?” Chad then very clearly checks him out, doing a simple but effective ‘drag-your-eyes-over-them-top-to-bottom-then-smile’ and says “you got game?” (Seen in gif below) 

I don’t know how much you know about sex metaphors and how many of those baseball has in it (seriously though, it’s a lot), but with the bat toss, Ryan’s hand ended up on top, and Chad’s under Ryan’s. Let’s ignore this for now, it’ll be implied again later. Ryan’s team starts out in the outfield because he won the bat toss, and hence, the song officially starts. 

The first lyrics (ignoring the chores of “hey batter batter, hey batter batter, swing”) is 

I'll show you that it's one and the same

Baseball, dancing, same game

It's easy

Step up to the place, start swingin  

This part is sung by Ryan, who is taunting Chad out in the outfield. Before the game, as stated, Chad was taunting Ryan about his lack of “game” (both sexual and not sexual metaphor are implied), and now, Ryan has turned those tables around. Baseball - is seen as more masculine than dancing, not as masculine as football or basketball, but it’s up there. Chad is someone who cares about his masculinity, enough to the point that Ryan playing baseball makes him loose his mind. Makes him question his own personal definition of masculinity, if you will. 

Ryan says, “baseball, dancing, same game,” impyling that, to him, baseball and dancing are one and the same. That is baffling to Chad, cause well, how can something meant for girls even be close to something meant for boys. 

Chad comes back with: 

 I wanna play ball now, and that's all

This is what I do

It ain't no dance that you can show me, yeah

This only proves my previous point. 

I had a conversation with myself about this, and I’ve decided not to include it in this essay, but a second essay may or may not be possible. Basically the premise - the dancing/”musical” moments of High School Musical are conjured up images by those meant to see them (ie: like a visual hallucination, but, not really) but this scene kinda poo-poos that idea. 

Now, the thing I am talking about is Ryan and Chad’s  peacocking at each other during the time they sing these lyrics. The movements they’re making could be mistaken for dancing - as we automatically assume it is because of the title and themes of the movie - or it could be them just getting ready for the baseball game. Ryan swings his leg over the pitcher's mound, tossing the ball up and down into his glove, making wavy hand gestures, etc. Chad brushes off his gloves, swings his legs, hits the bat on each foot, and so on. 

For the peacocking, Chad makes a mock of the ballerina foot stance before strutting over to the home plate. Ryan laughs at this, which earns quite the smirk from Chad himself (see gif below). 

This is when it becomes a conversation.   

You'll never know - R

Oh I know - Ch

If you never try - R

There's just one little thing - Ch

That stops me every time, yeah - Ch

Come on - Ch

When Chad says “Come on” it’s when Ryan throws the baseball at him, starting the game, and giving Chad’s team their first strike of the game (get it, it’s funny). Now, obviously we need to talk about the “there’s just one little thing that stops me every time.” As a queer person, I assure you, two of the things that kept me from living my Best Life were 1) my own ignorance of what asexuality was and 2) the fear that everyone I love would hate me for who I am, and what I have no control over. 

Sorry to get deep like that on main, but, can any other queer person say different? Obviously, your first point may differ, but my point still stands. In the video/scene there is a very short moment (to which I have condensed into a gif for you all, you’re welcome, and I’m sorry about the quality in advance), of the camera moving over to Chad’s team (or his friends in this case since it’s an employee baseball game) as he says this line (gif below). 

I will not be explaining the use of subtly in this essay, but I’m sure you get the metaphor Kenney is trying to use. If not, let me spell it out for you in very simple words. This song has a lot of sexual innuendos (as mentioned pervious with the baseball bat scene and still, more to come), with that in mind, and clearly queer themes at play (as mentioned before, again), this scene only shows Chad isn’t as straight as he leads on. His fear/phobia of Ryan/the arts come from a much deeper place. 

In shorter, and much simpler terms: Chad queer. 

But, let’s get back to the boy's conversation. 

I don't dance - Ch

I know you can - R 

Not a chance, no - Ch 

If I could do this, well, you could do that - R 

Translation: “If I can do this weird, sweaty, dirty, Male thing without blowing a fuse, you can and should be able to dance just fine.” 

But I don't dance - Ch 

Hit it out of the park - Both 

I don't dance - Ch

I say you can - R

There's not a chance, oh - Ch

Slide home, you score, swingin on the dance floor - Both

I don't dance, no - Ch  (This is just the chores, you’ll see it multiple times throughout the essay, I just figured if the song is going to be in your head, go all the way right). 

Two-steppin, now you're up to bat - R

Bases loaded, do your dance - R 

Here we are with the baseball metaphors you’ve all been waiting for ladies and gentlemen. Girls, gays, and non-binary pals. For those who have somehow managed a sheltered existence with access to the internet, lemme help you. Ryan is talking about “loaded bases” both in the context of the game (where it shows each base has one person from Chad’s team on them) and in the term of sex. While you go out there dating - while it’s mostly douche bags and people using it ironically - your nosey friends may ask you how far you got. 

“First, second, or third base?” They may ask. Or something like, “oh wow, did you get to home plate/base?” These are simply the rankings of the stages of a sexual relationship. First - kissing, sometimes just handholding, Second - making out, some light groping, Third - full on groping, no clothes come off, but it gets close. While each person has different boundaries, these are the general accepted definitions for the bases. 

Home base is obviously full blown sexual intercourse. Since Chad has his “bases loaded” it means he’s done all these things before, just never gone completely to sexual intercourse with someone - in the terms of the song and the history we’ve already established, it’s most likely a male character. This is only proven by Chad’s uncomfortable nature towards Ryan (internalized Homophobia, thank you, returning theme) but his easy, and cocky personality towards everyone else. “bUt thAt DoEsnT pRovE” hush, that’s the final cherry on top. Remember this conversation. 

It's easy - R  

Again. Previous points have been made.  

Take your best shot, just hit it - Ch 

I've got what it takes, playin my game - Ch

So you better spin that pitch - Ch 

You're gonna throw me, yeah - Ch 

I'll show you how I swing - Ch

Ah, the famous “I’ll show you how i swing” a very strong baseball metaphor for everyone. Keeps queer people from defining themselves to dangerous (straight) people, and, well, that’s it actually. This term is mostly used by bi/pan people, though if you want to stay in the closet or are in a dangerous place, it is also used to subtly tell other queer people you are in fact, not straight. My favourite is when this term came into play when President Buchanan got elected in 1856 (for those that don’t know, he’s the first and only gay president). 

You'll never know - R

Oh I know - Ch

If you never try - R 

There's just one little thing - Ch

That stops me every time, yeah - Ch 

This is again, the same lyric as before it doesn’t pan, and the tone is much different. The camera stays on Chad as he says this line, meaning he’s reflecting, he is now his own problem, the person that is keeping him back. His friends are not on his mind anymore, which is good, Ryan’s Gay Propaganda has been working. 

Come on - Ch

I don't dance - Ch

I know you can - R

Not a chance, no, no - Ch

If I could do this, well, you could do that - R

But I don't dance - Ch

Hit it out of the park - R

I don't dance - Ch

I say you can - R

There's not a chance, oh no - Ch

Slide home, you score, swingin on the dance floor - Both 

I don't dance, no - Ch

Lean back, tuck it in, take a chance - R

Swing it out, spin around, do the dance - R

I wanna play ball, not dance hall - Ch

I'm makin a triple, not a curtain cal - Chl

I can prove it to you til you know it's true - R

'Cause I can swing it, I can bring it to the diamond too - R

You're talkin a lot, show me what you got - Ch

Again, like the beginning of this song, this is a heavy base for flirting and sexual tension, which this song is drowning in. 

Stop swinging - both

Hey - both

This is the part where they all start a flash mob in the middle of the baseball diamond. Again, alluding to the conversation I had to myself earlier, this only proves my own theory as no one takes notice of this. But, that’s not this essay, this is where I mention how close Chad and Ryan are at the end of the group dance.  

Come on, swing it like this - both

Oh, swing - both

Jitterbug, just like that - both

That's what I mean, that's how you swing - both

You make a good pitch but I don't believe - both 

Here is yet another (and the final) sexual innuendo. This is actually a rather quick one. Pitching in queer culture is considered the person who tops (because queer people even had to straight-ify their sex lives to “top” and “bottom”), this is the person who is giving, if you know what I’m saying. 

I say you can - R

I know I can't - Ch

I don't dance - Ch

You can do it - R

I don't dance, no - Ch 

 Here is where that mosh pit ends, and how they get a little too close to comfort. 

Nothing to it, atta boy, atta boy, yeah - both

The rest of this song is simply a mash-up of the baseball game being finished, and this lovely gem. 

Now, clearly, Chad’s self conscious nature towards his sexuality is gone, he’s sitting close - if not squishing - Ryan, and talking to him like they’ve been friends forever. Take note of the change of close, most likely due to all the tension at the end of the song, and maybe a little of Chad’s own natural human curiosity built in. Now, I leave you with this note: 

If there is anything that confirms all this more, its Chad’s girlfriend wearing the pride colours. 

Also note: this could also be seen as a friend helping his bro discover his sexuality and fighting internalized homophobia, but, that’s ignoring the sexual tension, so go off I guess. 

Thank you for coming to my TED talk.  

Watch the full thing here

#high school musical 2 #ryan and chad #do they have a ship name? #troy bolton #high school musical #the original not the remake or whatever the kids have now #ryan evans #chad danforth #Sharpay evans #troy x gabriella #ryan/chad #that baseball scene #yall know what i'm talking about #i don't dance #the gayest scene ever #and gayest song #Anyways: the series #should I write that second essay? #thanks for coming to my ted talk

[butterflymar]

DAY 2: FAVORITE BL DRAMA

I have quite a few... I can’t choose just one so bare with me lol

Life Senjou No Bokura

Synopsis According to MyDramaList: One day after school, the serious Ito and the child-like Nishi meet by chance, as each endeavors to remain walking  on the sidewalk`s white line. As time goes by, Ito recognizes he is drawn to Nishi in a way that is new to him. Nishi, for his part, is frustrated that they only get to meet on the sidewalk. Ito decides to act upon his feelings and kisses a surprised Nishi, who agrees they need to walk side by side for a change. The sparks between them are undeniable as their relationship blossoms in high school, survives the college years, and matures into adulthood. A deeply moving work that bears witness to loving partners, whose unchanging feelings must co-exist within a world of changing realities.

My Personal Thoughts: I already wrote a review for this so I am going to re-share some of those thoughts here. This is one that I have watched countless times already. They went by the manga for mostly all of the episodes and I appreciated seeing that. They gave more context for certain details that may have been lost while reading the manga and translated it to screen. I think they depicted the age gaps well too. For 4 episodes only, I feel that they did a great job including the most important aspects. Actually now that I think of it, I would have loved to see more of them in their early 20s depicted on screen because that was like one of there honeymoon phases and I’m a hopeless romantic lol but that’s just a personal preference not complaining. Also, the show stopped at age 40 and they could have gone on throughout there entire lives but I understand why they chose not too. The manga is great as well!!! I think that the main actors depicted beautiful true love very well. They had amazing chemistry. Japanese BL’s have that special spark about them that I love. I also loved that it showed there relationship from high school till there later years. I don’t see that a lot with BL’s. They usually just stick to one time period. The aspect about them being connected by a line in relation to there love was a nice touch as well. I am glad that it has a happy ending as well. This is a pretty quick one to watch and a great one at that!!! If you haven’t watched it yet, I would highly recommend it!!!

I Told Sunset About You 

Synopsis According to MyDramaList: Teh and Oh-aew were best friends until a boyhood line of reasoning turned them into rivals. Years later as they're preparing for university admissions, both pursuing interests in the field of Communication Arts, the two meet in a Chinese language class. Their reunion awakens complicated and unstable feelings.

My Personal Thoughts: Same as above, I already wrote a review for this so I am going to re-share some of those thoughts here. This is DEFINITELY one of my top BL shows of the year 2020. This is such a beautiful masterpiece of a show!!! I remember when the preview trailer first came out… I was already hooked!!! I was on the lookout for it and it did not disappoint me one bit when it finally started. I looked forward to seeing it every week. It made me feel all of the emotions. I was up here sitting in my room crying over everything. I don’t think any other BL has made me this emotional before in my life. The two lead actors really DELIVERED!!! I could feel every single stare, every single body movement, and every single touch. You could cut the TENSION with a knife!!! No one couldn’t tell me that there wasn’t a magnetic true love between these two. I know this sounds cliche but it's like they were destined to be together from when they were childhood friends. Also, I would love to see them in future projects!!! The cinematography in this show is TOP FREAKIN NOTCH!!! Every single scene is just so beautifully shot. The cinematography alone makes me want to cry lol I saw somewhere that someone said the filming of the show reminded them of an indie film and I totally agree!!! The writing and directing on this show was impeccable to me!!! No cringy dialogue and every single line served its purpose well. This is movie grade writing. I also wanted to quickly just say that I loved the attention and callback to details throughout like with the tutoring book that Teh made for Oh-aew that was left empty by the end of episode 4, the flower that was supposed to be colored the same as Tan’s garment but Teh colored it red because he was thinking of Oh-aew, the rubbing of Oh-aew’s back when he sniffles, the references to Teh’s favorite actor, and the use of Chinese phrases to get meaning across. I could go on and on but wow I just loved how they really connected all of the details throughout. I can’t wait for Season 2!!!

Theory of Love

Synopsis According to MyDramaList: Third is a filmology major and a member of the Savage Team along with his best friends Two, Bone, and Khai, but he has a secret. Third has been secretly in love with Khai for years. For three years, he has kept his secret love in his heart, silently supporting and loving Khai while knowing there is absolutely no future between them since Khai is as straight as a streetlight pole and also an absolute player. To make matters worse, Khai has a "no dating friends" policy. How long can Third love Khai silently while watching Khai bring a different girl home every night? Third has tried to see Khai as just a friend. But has failed time and time again. Because as easy as it is to fall in love, to stop is just as hard.  Maybe even harder. That is until Third learns a secret that breaks his heart completely. But when Third decides to stop, Khai decides to start.

My Personal Thoughts: As sad as this show can make me feel at times, I love rewatching it. I still to this day think that it is one of the most well written BL’s that I have seen. Everything flows nicely and everything connects. Your not left wondering how you got from point A to point B. I thought the show had great character development especially when it came to Khai’s character towards the end of series. I know a lot of people had mixed feelings about his character due to how careless and dare I say stupid he acted at times but if he can make the audience hate him that much as a character... I would say he is doing something right!!! Gun’s acting never fails to amaze me!!! He really is one of the best actors I have seen. I know he had to be drained from all of that crying that he did throughout the show though lol It just goes to show that when you truly love someone you can’t just stop what you are feeling inside that easily no matter how the other person feels about you or treats you. As the old saying goes, love is blind. I also loved the friend group as well and Two and Bones side stories with the teacher and crush from school. They added to the shows greatness and didn’t take away from it. The friendship dynamics throughout the show was I feel something that really kept me engaged. The cast acted well together. There was no awkwardness or hesitation. I feel everyone bought there best for this drama. They incorporated the movie references so cleverly and I love how the title of each episode was the title of a real romance film. Just the overall theme of film was very intriguing to me. This drama left me filled with heartache and a rollercoaster of emotions but the ending is worth it!!!

HIStory3: Make Our Days Count

Synopsis According to MyDramaList: At first glance, high schoolers Xiang Hao Ting and Yu Xi Gu appear to be polar opposites: While Xiang Hao Ting is an outgoing, hot-headed extravert and some-time bully, Yu Xi Gu prefers to keep a low profile and focus on his schoolwork. They seem bound for totally different futures – the bookish Yu Xi Gu looks destined for academic success, while life is just a long popularity contest for Xiang Hao Ting. But a quirk of fate – and a crucial intervention by a female schoolmate – results in the two young men’s paths crossing. But there is more to both young men than first meets the eye. Xiang Hao Ting was not always this way. He started out as a perfect student until he discovered the joys of going off the rails. And Yu Xi Gu has a reason for being so aloof and studious: His parents died in a traffic accident while he was younger, and he is being fostered by his aunt. As such, he works hard to get good grades in an effort to win a scholarship and ease the financial burden on his relatives. Yu Xi Gu also works part-time at a convenience store, where his manager Liu Zhi Gang has developed a crush on a man he has met at the gym. Back at school, meanwhile, Yu Xi Gu and Xiang Hao Ting find themselves drawn together, and passions ignite. The former notices that he has the unique ability to bring Yu Xi Gu out of his shell – and becomes intent on melting his cold-as-ice exterior. What will happen when their two worlds collide? And can love be the catalyst that helps bring these two unlikely students together – as their high school days draw to a close?

My Personal Thoughts: I will stand by this notion for all of my days but this show is one of the best shows I have seen PERIOD!!! Not even best BL shows I have seen but just in general. It highkey saddens me that it is rated at an 8.1 right now on MyDramaList due to how it ended when other than that... it’s a top notch show. This was one that I watched as it was airing and I would get excited to see it every week. My clown self should have known by the title “Make Our Days Count” that some mess was about to occur but I didn’t pick up on it. Now, I just disregard the last episode (WE DON’T KNOW HER!!!). You can just tell that they had a great budget for this series. The production was on point. It had great cinematography, great storylines, and it felt realistic too. The main couples acting was OFF THE CHARTS AMAZING. I loved the whole opposites attract thing going on. Although the show was set in high school... it almost didn’t feel like it nor did it have those typical clichés going on. I liked how it dealt with topic of LGBTQ+ acceptance as well. I wasn’t so sure about the side couples relationship at first but I grew to love them as time went on. One last thing I wanted to point out was that even though I am always looking for a happy ending... I learned from this show that not everyone can get a happy ending. That’s not how life works sadly. In real life, there have been a lot of people who were truly in love and lost there partners tragically. Although it may be hard to accept the outcome, it is something that happens in real life. This is a drama that you appreciate even more as time goes on. It truly is a gem of a series!!!

TharnType

Synopsis According to MyDramaList: Type Thiwat is a handsome freshman with a passion for football and spicy food. Although he’s a friendly boy, he hates gay people because, in his childhood, he was molested by a man. His life turns upside down when the new academic year of college brings along a charismatic roommate, Tharn Kirigun. Tharn is a gorgeous, compassionate music major, who is also openly gay. When Type learns this, he is determined to make Tharn leave the dorm, as he won't live with a gay person. Tharn is equally determined not to give into Type's homophobic tantrums. With a gay guy and a homophobic guy that have to share a small space together for the rest of the year — what can possibly be the outcome of their story? Hatred? Or maybe love?

My Personal Thoughts: *Goes to hide in a corner* I know this drama is problematic and controversial as hell but it’s like a train wreck that you can’t turn  away from. What truly carries the show I feel is the chemistry between MewGulf. I don’t think I would have enjoyed the series as much if other actors were cast in those roles. They just exude confidence, passion, love, and lust. In terms of the storyline, I found it to be a chaotic occurrence of situations where I just had to know what was going to go on next. Everything that occurred had me intrigued for the next episode and so on and so forth. I loved Type’s character development. One quick thing I want to touch on was I know there were a lot of problematic things that happened which I will touch on at a later date but one thing I wish people were more understanding of was Type’s outbursts, thoughts, and feelings in certain situations. He was a victim of sexual assault so I felt the way he handled certain things was in response to what he had gone through as child and I think some viewers kind of missed that and were almost too harsh on him. Everyone processes and deals with trauma differently. This show went through so many twists and turns and I honestly lived for it especially the shocker towards the end of the series. I didn’t see that one coming at all!!! Despite all of its flaws, this show still holds a special place in my heart.

Honorable Mention:

Cherry Magic: As of today, this show has 4 episodes left and I think I am just going to come out and say that THIS IS MY FAVORITE BL OF THE YEAR!!! It’s a beautiful Japanese BL and I rewatch the old episodes while I wait for new ones to come out alot. It’s such a fluffy, heartwarming, and precious Bl series!!! I love it to pieces!!!

#30 day bl drama challenge #30 day bl challenge #bl drama #bl series #thai bl #taiwanese bl #japanese bl #life senjou no bokura #life love on the line #i told sunset about you #itsay #teh x oh aew #theory of love #khaithird #gun attaphan #off jumpol #offgun #history3: make our days count #history 3: modc #tharntype #mewgulf #cherry magic #adachi x kurosawa #manner of death #maxtul #kornknock

[unsettledink]

Back in the days of LJ, I used to try and do a post at the end of each year, looking back primarily at fandom and fic. I fell out of the habit when everything moved to tumblr, and then it seemed like I didn’t have anything to say since I wasn’t writing or really participating any. 

But I always liked the idea of it, because I love to be overly reflective on stuff. And talk about my fic. Any excuse! I shuffled around some of the topics I used back then and added a few I’ve seen around that I liked. It got… long, because I TALK, so I split into two sections. 

*

Your main fandom of the year? 

    Marvel (MCU) for sure. Primarily with characters from Spider-Man and Iron Man movies.

Your favorite film watched this year?

    The Old Guard - I saw a couple trailers and everything about it looked like catnip. ‘It’s probably going to be so dumb, but I don’t even care,’ I thought. And then it was so good. It was so much fun and so much smarter than I expected and I loved each and every character and it just made me happy in so many ways.

Your favorite book read this year?

    Red, White, and Royal Blue, Casey McQuiston - I read it twice this year actually. It’s so… cute isn’t the right world. Sweet and hopeful and soft and comforting and intense. I liked every single character which is pretty rare. I cried during the sad parts and then again at the happy ending, like straight up sobbed - both times. I already want to read it again.

Your favorite tv show watched this year?

    Schitt’s Creek - I started it on a whim and because a lot of people had said it was good. The episodes were short so it wasn’t a huge time investment. The first season was a little rough, but there were enough funny moments that I hung on, and then… I kept getting fonder and fonder of these idiots as they grew. And THEN… it kept not disappointing me? 

     You grow to expect certain scripts, twists, jokes, especially in queer story lines. To wait for the bad thing to happen, because it always does. Instead, Schitt’s Creek kept going, ‘hey, here’s the set up for that! Guess what? We’re not doing it. Here’s the happy version instead.’ The relief of having that happen again and again - the last season I’ve watched (I’m sort of saving 6) I cried a bunch but it was always because I was happy. 

Your favorite album or song to listen to this year?

    1896 - I’ve been waiting for the new Steam Powered Giraffe album so eagerly for aaaaaages. Finally getting recordings of Zero’s songs! Lying Awake remains my favorite off the album, with Eat Your Heart and Bad Days on the Horizon high up there as well. I’m loving what Zero brings to the band.

Your best new fandom discovery of the year?

    I don’t know if I really did discover that much? I stuck pretty closely to old fandoms and the ones I picked up in 2019. Maybe Zodiac? It was definitely inspiring, and I want to write and read more in it. 

    Maybe the couple discords I joined? I still really dislike discord and am not on there much, and mostly lurk when I am, but having somewhere vaguely like the comms I remember makes me feel a little less isolated. It’s the potential, that maybe if I said something I might make a friend, or someone might actually want to hear what I say. 

Your biggest fandom disappointment of the year?

    The Watch - I mean, I knew it was going to be a disaster with every word said during pre production. I wasn’t ever going to be happy with it. And then it came out and was even worse and uglier and … disrespectful not just of the source material but of actual people connected to Terry. I’m beyond disappointed that this is what we got, and it’s probably going to be a long time before we get anything else. 

    Devil All the Time was terrible, but I didn’t have especially high hopes. It still didn’t manage to meet them. Yikes.

The most missed of your old fandoms?

    Maybe MASH? Someone I follow started talking about it and I was reminded all over again of the wonderful fics in that fandom. I went looking and a lot are gone (still on my computer, lol, but not online), but rereading was such a trip. A slightly depressing trip, but still. 

The fandom you haven't tried yet, but want to?

    Hmm. I’ve kind of not had the energy to invest in other fandoms at the moment? When The Witcher was having it’s big moment back in January, I had a feeling I might enjoy it enough to fall headfirst into the fandom, so I avoided watching it. Ikr? I don’t have the time or the energy to actively seek anything out. 

Your biggest fan anticipations for the New Year?

    SO EXCITED about Winter’s Orbit. I mean, the third Spider-Man movie for sure, with worry. The second Venom movie, ugh yes. I have tentative hopes for Jungle Cruise? Jumanji was stellar and I always enjoy Dwayne. I have both hope and dread for the new Suicide Squad - I did love Birds of Prey, so if it’s along those lines, yay. The Hitman’s Wife’s Bodyguard because it should be some fun garbage, my favorite kind. I don’t know how I feel about Dune, but, uh, I’m anticipating it. It seems highly unlikely it will actually happen, but The Wheel of Time TV series. 

I want to be excited about Black Widow but it’s hard. It’s not the story I’ve been wanting to see, and I’m angry about Natasha not getting a movie until she’s dead.

You know. If any of it is released for real.

The Good: 

I moved to a better place. I got a better paying, better benefits, better environment job that lets me work from home. The house acquired 3-7 more cats depending on the month. I was able to get some serious problems on my car fixed. I have insurance and was able to start on some health stuff. No one I know got sick or died. I wrote a LOT.

The Bad: 

Aside from the obvious? Depression hitting extra hard during the winter. Having to put two kittens to sleep. Have my car be hit three times in our parking lot. Being driven INSANE by one of the cats for months while the vets were all closed. Kidney stone. Dealing with several health problems. Stalling for months on Gotcha.

The Indifferent: 

Not leaving the house often or easily. Enjoying a new fandom but not doing great at making connections (still real awkward, bud). Raising kittens and saying goodbye. Need new tires. Reading a lot of fic but not a lot of books. Having more pay but more expenses as well (wth insurance??). 

*

2020 fic stats

Number of stories: 39

Number of fandoms: 6? Or 2, if you cluster the others under mcu

Total number of words: 152049

Average word count per story: 4kish

Longest fic: Causality (18k, P/Q)

Shortest fic: Can’t, Won’t (1k, P/Q)

Most comments received: Sieche (49, T/P)

Fandom you wrote the most of: MCU Spider-Man - I only wrote TWO fics that didn’t feature that fandom, wow. And one of those was still MCU.

Fandom you wrote the least of: Zodiac (1!)

Events you participated in: Marvel Trumps Hate, Kinktober, IornspidersGeorg Exchange, Starker Festivals Exchange, MCU Secret Santa, Spiderio Big Bang

*

Looking back, did you write more fic than you thought you would this year, less, or about what you'd predicted?

    SO MUCH MORE OMG. I mean, even just counting posted stuff! (I probably wrote a solid 300k of Gotcha this year.) I did not expect or plan on doing Kinktober, so that’s a whole 31 fics right there. I also wasn’t planning on doing any exchanges - I have a History - but then I did three? And beyond that, I did not expect for everything to get so LONG.

Topic you wrote that you would never have predicted in January:

    Tony/Quentin. Goddammit @the-me09 They were like hey, they could be interesting! And while I agreed, I had no ideas for them. THEN they had to go and write Just Bodies That Collide and next thing I know, I’ve got ten fics featuring them and two-six series focused on them or Peter/Quentin/Tony. What the fuck. 

Leitmotif of the year:

    Vulnerability, I think. I had a bunch of things typed up and they all circle back to vulnerability in the end; sex, being seen, being wanted, sharing trauma, asking for help, trying something new. Offering a soft spot in the hopes it won’t be hurt. 

Favorite character to write about: 

    Tony Stark, for sure. There are just a bunch of slightly different takes, and a lot of canon to work with (kind of frustrating too though). And I’m a sucker for emotionally damaged snarky traumatized characters that are viewed poorly both in universe and out. 

Favorite kind of fic to write:

    This year? Fluff and smut combined. Maybe that’s not the right term really. I keep looking for and writing, even in the angstiest fics, for those soft moments. Sure, maybe it’s a super smutty kink scene, but I want the affection to be obvious. Maybe everyone is consumed by guilt, but I want it to be based in caring too much. Maybe there’s no real love, just sex and even that’s messed up, but I want to find that tiny bit of fondness. 

    And I want happy endings. Or endings that look like they’re going to be happy, at least, even if there’s all the angst first. I don’t think I’ve killed anyone this year? Who AM I? 

Biggest disappointment:

    Not finishing the rough draft of Gotcha. I was making such good progress in 2019, from August to December. Even after the move, I basically finished part 6 in January. I fumbled around and fussed with 1 a lot, but that had already been given one draft, really, and I got through half of 4 before I slowed to a stop. I’ve barely gotten anything accomplished on it since June. Bits and pieces here and there, but nothing significant, not like I was doing. I can excuse October, due to 80k invested in Kinktober (yikes!), but aside from that… I’m sad. I’ll finish it eventually, but I really thought I could have the first draft done in a year. I’m sitting at about 480k out of what I’m almost certain will be 700k. 

Biggest surprise:

    Kinktober! It was kind of spur of the moment, decided just a week in advance. I’ve tried month long or even like, 20-25 day long challenges and I don’t think I’ve ever completed one. I thought there was a good chance I’d do so again, so I gave myself a little help and made my own list of prompts, things I knew I liked and hadn’t done much of yet. And it worked? I actually completed it, what the hell? Despite spending five days travelling near the end! Despite falling behind in getting ahead and writing a bunch of stories the day they were to be posted! Despite apparently forgetting how to do short form! 

    I, uh, could have done without the spawning of eleven series or sequels or continuations jfc WHY SELF.

Something you learned this year:

    Ideas breed ideas. I swear to god, the second I sit down to think through a current idea, I wake up the next morning with three more. 

    Words need to be restocked. I need to consume new - not rereads, not fic - content every so often to refresh my word bank. It is astonishing how quickly writing goes again after I’ve done so.

    I can write so much more than I thought I could. I can do so much more than I thought I could. Yes, I can complete challenges without dropping out early. Yes, I can do exchanges and not regret it. Yes, I can write more than 100k, more than 200k, more and more - and I can write 10k+ easily too. Though I wouldn’t mind if I could once again write less than 10k without feeling like I’ve cut off in the middle. 

    My time is shrinking, and if I want to write as much, I’m going to have to make the time. I can’t rely on three days off a week, on seven hours of uninterrupted overnight shifts, on hyper focused writing binges that leave everything else around me on fire. 

Most memorable comment: 

    So, so many! I can’t pick one. I’ve been really lucky to get a bunch of really detailed, enthusiastic, analyzing comments across all different fics. One of the types that always sticks with me are the ones like ‘I didn’t think/know I liked this ship/kink/twist, but fuck, apparently I do? You made me, what the hell?’. 

What, if anything, are you going to try to do differently in your writing in the new year?

So with writing Gotcha but not posting until it’s done, my view of what I’ve written vs anyone else’s is extremely skewed. I’m sitting here thinking, hey I’m 400k in and got another 10k done today, so much writing! While anyone looking at my AO3 account (for most of the year) is like, you’re averaging three months between fics :(

    All that to say I want to try and get something posted more frequently while I’m working on Gotcha.

    Also, writing for kinktober was really interesting - pushing myself to write every single day, often for that day’s post, forced me to get back into shorter form fic. Which used to be all I did? But it was surprisingly hard to just stop and not write more. So I’d like to challenge myself to write more fics under 10k at least. Maybe even under 5k though that might be asking a lot lol. I might get there with the many continuations of those fics I’d like to do. Does that count?

Goals:

   I want to hit 365 fics. :) I’m only 32 away!

    Aside from writing - 

    I’ve really enjoyed the reading record sideblog I started this year. I’ve let it lapse a little the past month or so, but I’d like to keep it going strong. 

    I’d like to leave a lot more comments. I want to get better about allowing imperfection - I want to write The Best Comment, but in the end? Probably 90% of fic writers are going to be happier with a comment expressing enjoyment in any way over no comment at all. 

And not just on fics, but on general posts as well. It’s hard not to feel… weird and stupid and invasive and rude leaving any sort of comment on someone’s post if I don’t know them at least a little. I have godawful rejection sensitive dysphoria and a lot of interactions that ended poorly; I’m really not good at people. But as dumb as it feels to say those things, I know I am thrilled and warmed and happier when there’s a reblog with tags or a note or a comment or an ask or just, any small interaction that shows someone out there notices and cares, at least a little. There’s no reason I can’t at least try to offer that to other people. 

    I’d like to make/run a couple challenges of my own, later in the year. I’m still figuring out what I want to do and what I could do. I’m really interested in doing something that’s not focused on creators, but the readers; some sort of comment or rec challenge maybe.

    I want to find a cheerleader for Gotcha. I’m struggling to keep up my motivation to write it when it’s already in my head, where I can ‘read’ it any time. There’s a line between depending too much on external validation and trying to generate all your validation yourself, and I’m getting to a point where I think I need to ask for help (gasp! The hardest thing EVER). 

*

(Part Two: Pick Some Fics)

#end of year #unsettled rambles

[spacespazz101]

Train Wreck Meets Dumpster Fire Part 2

Thank you to everyone that liked this! I was surprised on how many people actually liked this. This is actually a sequel to a series written by my friend JadePegasus (@the-paraphoenix on tumblr) on AO3 called Blood Gulch Freelancers please check it out if you like this, it gives a little bit of background and is what inspired this.

                                   Chapter 2: The Match Ignites

 They had landed without a hitch. That probably should have been their first clue that everything would go to Hell in a hand basket.

 “Ok, we’re a few clicks from Blood Gulch Outpost. You may now disengage your seat belts and prep for your mission. And Washington if you puked in my cabin again you will be cleaning the entire thing with your toothbrush.” 479er called over the planes’ PA. Wash let out a groan. He would have sworn that the others had convinced her to fly more erratically than necessary to keep him from talking to Texas.

 Wash had missed his chance to talk to her yesterday when he had picked up her commlink and the others had prevented him from trying to talk to her beforehand, and during the flight his own motion sickness had kept him from opening his mouth for fear of meeting his breakfast again.

 Everyone got up and started to check that everything was working and make sure that everything was ready to move. Wash let out a sigh. Texas began to fumble looking through her own bag. “Texas if you’re looking for your commlink I have it.” Carolina called. Throwing it at her. “Thanks” Texas spoke. Something like relief in her voice. Wash was dragged away from the pelican before he could even consider opening his mouth. So much for talking to Tex before the mission started, he would have to settle for talking to her after the mission was over.

 *_*_*_*

 The canyon was a short trek from the parked pelican, close enough that vehicles were not necessary but just far enough to not be picked up on any sensors.

 As they looked over the canyons ridge, they saw what they would expect to see from any SIM base. Two bases on opposing sides, one red the other blue. What wasn’t normal was the small metallic box in the middle of the canyon where the Deadman’s Land usually stood. It looked almost like an outhouse. The outhouse-like object suddenly opened as they watched. Two soldiers stepped out of it. It must have been an elevator of some sort. There wasn’t enough room for storage of any kind.

 “They did a pretty good job whoever they are. They got the regulation colors perfect, but they missed the fact that Reds and Blues are supposed to hate each other” York whispered to Wash.

 As they watched the two soldiers part ways to patrol the canyons’ rim, Carolina took command quickly “Ok here is the plan. North you and York take up positions on each end, I want eyes on both the bases and those soldiers. Wyoming, Florida go to the command center in the caves. See if you can find what happened here since we lost contact. The rest of us will break up into teams and investigate the bases. Prioritize locating hostages and recovering data. Do your best to keep for triggering any alarms.” A glance was sent to CT and South at that comment. “Is everyone clear?” Carolina questioned.

 “Absolutely. “Wyoming

“Affirmative” Florida

“Whatever” CT

“Hnn” Maine

“Will do.” York

“Sure thing Mom.” South

“Roger.” North

“Sure thing, boss.” Wash finished

“Sounds good. Break on three?” The blue soldier

 ...

 Everyone jumped at the sudden addition to their huddle. It was the regulation blue trooper from earlier. He was still crouched over as if he was in a huddle with a ghost football team . He glanced at them after two beats of silence.

“You guys, we are supposed to count to three and then break or maybe it’s count to two and break when you say three? That has never been very clear to me. But we are still supposed to count before we stop huddling.”

 There were guns pointed at him now. “Well howdy their big fella, who are you?” Florida stepped in front of the trooper, signaling them to lower their weapons. “Oh, I am sorry I did not introduce myself. I am not supposed to share my actual name, or the fairies will try and take control of me, but everyone calls me Mass” The blue trooper, now identified as Mass, took Florida’s offered hand and shook it vigorously. “Well, we wouldn’t want that would we now?” Florida answered as if that statement was the most normal thing in the world. He others, that call you Mass, were they at this base before you showed up?” Florida continued.

 The blue soldier hadn’t moved to alert anyone of their visitors and he seemed to be telling the truth as far as anyone could tell. “I do not think so. I never met any other people that were here before me, besides the leader and Ricco I was the first person here. Everyone that was here before me had gone away a long time ago.” That didn’t sound good. That meant that Bravo team had to have been wiped out or taken before this soldier came in.

 “Isn’t that interesting. And what are you doing right now?” Florida’s voice gave no indication of his inner thoughts, but the slight tensing of his shoulders indicated that he was thinking what they all were. “Oh, I was scouting the canyon for any new friends! We heard that there might be some new friends visiting us soon… Hey are you-” Florida cut off the trooper before he could continue his train of thought. “Wow, new friends, that sounds great! How about you look that way and we look this way? We will call you if we find anything.” For a beat it didn’t seem like this Mass character would fall for it but then he responded with a cheerful glee only expressed by children, and extremely immature adults, on a sugar rush.

 “OK!!!!!!!!” and then he was gone.

They waited a few seconds to see if they could find Mass again, but he had vanished.

 “What’d I miss?” Texas’ voice had startled everyone out of their stunned silence. No one answered her, instead they all turned to look at Carolina again.

 “Ok new plan.”

*_*_*_*_*_*_*_*_*_*_*_*_*_*_*_*_*_*_*_*_*_*_

 “I hate this plan” Washington whispered to Maine as they crept through what had been the red SIM base. They were the demolition team for this base. They would place the charges as South and Florida scavenged what they could from the bases’ computers. North, York, Wyoming, and CT were at blue base doing the same as Texas and Carolina were inspecting the metal plated elevator. They had an hour to work before they destroyed the base.

 Maine only grunted in response. They had yet to meet anyone as they traversed the hallways. Wash was getting worried as only the muted sounds of their footsteps echoed through the vacant building. “We have been from one side of this base to the other and we haven’t seen anyone. Maybe that Mass guy was just a SIM trooper left behind when the groups were relocated? It wouldn’t be the first time we lost SIM troopers.”

 “I don’t know Wash, if this place is down to just two SIM troopers then wouldn’t there be more dust or something? These bases are too clean for two troopers to take care of.” York’s voice over comms was distorted and filled with static. It seemed like the Counselor had been right about even short-range communications being disrupted.

 “But-Oof” Wash collided with Maine with a soft clang. “What?” Wash was cut off again with Maine raising his finger to his helmet signaling for silence. Then Wash herd it too, soft voices coming from down the hall. Wash and Maine both held their guns at the ready.

 “Wash, report.” Carolina’s voice cut through their speakers short and crisp despite the static that disrupted the transmission. “I think we found more Maine and I are investigating.” They began to creep towards the door where there were voices coming through. As they got closer the voices became clearer.

 “-like it tight down there.” Wash nearly tripped at the statement coming from behind the wall. Was that? Had he? No, Wash shook his head, it couldn’t be; he must have not gotten enough sleep, he had just missed too much of the conversation.

“Us too. We found the red guy from before and another in maroon are working near the computer terminal.” South announced causing Wash to almost miss what the unidentified person said next.

 “Make sure you use the good lube this time. The other stuff doesn’t work half as well.” Wash could feel his face begin to heat up. Why him? Why did he always end up in positions like this?

 “Contact.” North spoke this time. “One guy in brown armor working on some kind of terminal. Should we engage?” Wash took a breath. It was ok. Five guys in a box canyon. They could handle that. They had them out numbered two to one.

  “Penny, I am begging you, please just stop talking” A different voice this time, masculine and frustrated -err angry- yea angry was better. Ok, that was good. It sounds like things were winding down. Sure, there was another person in there but there was also a good chance that they would be taking these two by surprise. And who knows maybe this was all just a big misunderstanding.

“Well you haven’t given me anything else to do with my mouth while I’m waiting for you. I’ve been holding it for hours waiting for you to finish.” Scratch that. They are just getting started. Wash could feel his entire body go ramrod straight. Maine froze behind him. Wash took some comfort in the fact that he wasn’t the only one bothered by that conversation.

 “Confirm. On my mark everyone, engage with the suspects. Try not to kill, we can find out more once we take back the canyon.” Carolina ordered. The static was back again. There was a good chance that they would lose contact completely.

 “Umm, Boss, that might not be such a good idea for us. I think these two are umm, engaged in something.” Wash cursed his voice cracking in the middle of his sentence, but he couldn’t help it. He did not want to go in there right now. Damn their teasing he did not want to see what the enemy was up to beyond that wall.

 “Oh, just ram it Ham!” The voice, Penny called. “Oh, Fuck me. Slow down Penny or you’re going to set it off.” Penny’s companion groaned. Wash was sure he was red in the face by now and judging from Maine’s uncomfortable shift it was clear that he didn’t want to go in there either.

 “What are you so worried about Rookie? You’re near the garage not the barracks it’s not as if they are fucking behind closed doors.” York spoke this time. His voice light and teasing but he could hear some of the others snickering through the static.

 “Umm.” The static was worse now. Wash could barely make out his own voice coming through. That combined with the rapid beating of his heart was starting to sound like the revving of engines in his ears. Wash was about to articulate why it was such a bad idea when he heard the voice of one of the two in the garage let out a sharp alarmed cry. “Fuuuck!!!” and suddenly Wash wasn’t standing against the wall to the motor pool he was pressed against the side of an armored warthog.

I would like to thank everyone that liked this. I actually have most of this posted on AO3 but I figured that I could post most of what I have here and see if I can get any advice on edits and then repost the final product.

#Red vs Blue #Agent Texas #agent washington #Agent Carolina #agent york #agent north dakota #agent south dakota #agent maine #agent florida #agent wyoming #rvb tex #rvb carolina #rvb caboose #rvb connie #agent ct #rvb #479er #rvb 479er #wash hates cars #long post #rvb ct #rvb york #rvb sarge #but only for a second #Blood Gulch Freelancers #rvb donut #rvb grif #Train Wreck Meets Dumpster Fire

[nihilnovisubsole]

I wanna write a book and I need to create a world for it but I'm afraid to get stuck on irrelevant details when worldbuilding like what trees would grow in a region with this or that soil and climate which is completely irrelevant for the story itself or get stuck naming things that don't necessarily need names. How did you decide what was enough worldbuilding for your book? Did you worldbuild along side writing when it came up or did you do it all before you started writing the story? thanks!

oh wow, this is a really cool question?? thanks??? this answer is going to be long, i’m sorry, i’ll put it under a cut

i think i should clear something up, though: i do get stuck on irrelevant details. many times, if you see something “casually” thrown in, i at the very least googled it if i didn’t already know. that goes for food, flowers, parts of clothing, architectural terms, animals, weapons. the list, unfortunately, goes on. i mean, let’s not forget that i went to the trouble of looking up what men shaved with in ancient rome. i can be very granular when i let myself run free.

part of that is just being curious and wanting to know, but it’s also wanting to have a more efficient writing style. “blue-purple flowers in big round bunches” is a lot of words. “hydrangeas” is one. i’d rather nail down the name of the thing than grope around trying to describe it. of course YMMV if you’re writing high fantasy or hard sci-fi - “real-world names” for things might not fit, and that’s fine.

anyway, when i was worldbuilding as i worked on dangerous crowns, it pretty much fell into one of four modes:

“i think this would be nice.”

“i guess i need to come up with something for this.”

“i need to justify something.”

pure research.

the first one, “i think this would be nice,” is the most casual. it often happens when i’m not writing, or in the early planning stage. most of my aesthetic worldbuilding happens like this, or anything else where it’s mainly up to the writer’s taste. i thought dangerous crowns’ neoclassical influence would be cool. i thought the poofy sack-back empire gowns would be pretty. i thought it would be interesting if they worshipped a god and goddess who were lovers. i just asked myself what i liked and went with it.

the second, “i guess i need to come up with something for this,” happens when i’m in the middle of writing and hit a blank spot. for me, it tends to come up when worldbuilding and story collide, like names, objects characters handle, or in-universe facts they should know. again in dangerous crowns, when livia opens the letter from mother clementia, it has a wax seal on it with the emblem of the church. that’s when i go, “oh, great. uh, what should that seal look like?” or, “oh, great. they’re going to the opera. what’s the show about?”

the third one, “i need to justify something,” can feel self-indulgent, but it’s also a lot of fun when you harness it. the three continents’ permissive attitudes about relationships came about because i wanted marcus and livia’s relationship to be normal. i wanted to write a world where couples could be intentionally childless and unmarried without people thinking twice about it, let alone disapproving of them. it sounds simple, but that’s the kind of thing that can really take off. it affected everything from social mores to religion and inheritance laws.

the fourth one, “pure research,” is what it sounds like. i hit the books, i hit google, i see what i can find. this is where i got things like the name of the proscenium: a “proscenium” is an ancient stage, or the space in front of a theater curtain. that said, i do need to remind myself that it’s an original universe, because this is where the obsession with details can kick in. for example, there’s a scene where livia uses a sulfur-tipped match, something that they didn’t seem to have in ancient rome. i agonized over it, but decided i was being ridiculous and kept it in. after all, it’s not the real world, it’s histria.

as far as deciding what’s “enough”: i think that’s up to you. i just chose not to work too hard on things i didn’t need for the story. like, i have no idea what the days of the week are called, or what the majority of their holidays are about. if i need it later, i can come up with something then. it’ll be worldbuilding mood #2 on the list above.

if it helps, a teacher told me that - in general - things only need names if they’re important or will come up a lot. the main setting could use a name. every village around it? probably not. the sidekick needs a name, but if you name a random townsperson with one line, the reader might think they’re important and be confused when they don’t appear again.

one more thing, and then i’ll let you go: i like when worldbuilding is just put there. i don’t need it to be explained. it’s enough for me to see that a forest is full of blue bushes. i don’t need to know that they grow in loamy soil unless it’s relevant. if people eat garlic bread, i don’t really need to know that elves taught humans how to cultivate garlic a thousand years ago. but again, it’s all a matter of what makes you feel like you know your world. how much of that will make it into the story? the only way to find out is to write it.

#anon #asks #writing #worldbuilding #dangerous crowns #kindlefic stuff

[seriestrash]

The List - Bonus Chapter

- 1 - 2 - 3 - 4 - 5 - 6 - 7 - 8 - 9 - 10 - 11 - 12 - Epilogue -

Summary: It’s summer vacation and TJ and Cyrus fill their days checking things of Cyrus’ list.

Read on AO3

Bonus Chapter 

Note: This is a TJ centric chapter focusing on his feelings after Amber’s party.

Word Count: 4758

Late into the eighth week of summer, TJ found himself preparing for a high school party. Getting permission to attend took a lot of convincing with his mother which was annoying considering he didn’t even want to go to in the first place. Once Tess spoke to Cyrus’ mom about it though - as Leslie knew Amber and her parents - Tess was alright to let her son attend.

Once at the party, they’re approached by the hostess herself. TJ has had pretty limited interaction with Amber prior to tonight. She was his waitress often at the diner but even then she was always consumed with Cyrus. Amber has a pretty huge platonic crush on Cyrus, this was evident to TJ as Amber was always being overly nice to Cyrus. At first TJ thought maybe she had a crush crush on Cyrus but TJ deduced quickly enough that Amber just really wanted to be Cy’s friend. It’s because of those past interactions that TJ isn’t at all surprised by Amber lunging at Cyrus with a hug and taking a while to acknowledge he was with anyone else.

Amber leads them all into the kitchen so they can get something to drink. She leaves soon after and Marty begins questioning Cyrus about their flirty banter, which kind of bothered TJ even though he was confident things were strictly platonic between the two.

“She was being nice.” Marty raises a suggestive brow at Cyrus. 

“Wow she was being nice to me?” Cyrus fakes a gasp, “People might start thinking we’re friends.”

TJ laughs into his cup at Cyrus’ sarcasm because that’s something Cyrus wasn’t fluent in. Cynicism and self doubt yes, but sarcasm was far more rare. 

TJ momentarily thought that tonight might not be as terrible as he had anticipated but then Cyrus brings up how Amber is his ex-girlfriends best friend and suddenly TJ was less optimistic. Now TJ remembered why he was not thrilled about coming to the party in the first place. 

The group of middle schoolers reintegrate into the main hub of the party. TJ is with Cyrus until the previous captain of the JMS basketball team approaches them. Next thing TJ knows, Cyrus has disappeared from beside him and he didn’t appear to be in the living space where everyone was gathered. TJ excuses himself from his current conversation and decides to look for Cyrus.  TJ’s search is short lived as Cyrus collides with him when they both went to round the corner leading to/from the hallway. 

“Hey, TJ.” Cyrus chuckles at their accident.

“Where did you disappear to?” TJ asks and he glances at the girl standing beside Cyrus. 

“I bumped into my friend Iris.” Cyrus motions towards her, “Iris, this is my friend TJ.”

That's Iris? TJ internally frowns, The high school girl Cyrus dated? Of course she has to be really pretty. TJ wasn’t feeling thrilled by the situation so when Iris gives a very slight and nervous wave with a soft ‘hello’, TJ is only able to mumble a greeting back.

“Oh you found each other,” Amber approaches the group excitedly. 

“Yep.” Iris gives her best friend a funny look and Amber grins almost eagerly.

“Um, TJ, can you help me with something, over there?” Amber nudges her head back and TJ furrows his brows at her for being weird. “Just come here,” she lets out a frustrated groan and drags him away.

TJ reluctantly joins Amber across the room. “What do you need help with?” TJ asks annoyed. 

“Nothing,” Amber says, “I just wanted to give those two a moment alone to catch up.” 

TJ looks over at Cyrus as he leads Iris to a little window nook in the living space. 

“They’re so cute together,” Amber watches them too, “I never understood why they broke up.” 

“Maybe they’re not right for each other.” TJ says with little emotion. 

“But they’re so perfect for each other,” Amber beams, “They’re so alike. You should have seen them on their first date. I was actually jealous of how well they were getting along because it wasn’t like that for me and Jonah.” 

TJ listens to Amber ramble on even though he had zero desire to be there. 

“After their second date at the museum Iris could not stop talking about, Cyrus. It was adorable.” Amber says with a smile. 

“They went to the museum?” TJ questions. 

“Yes, they’re both just the cutest dorks.” Amber says with a cute expression, “Iris was using dinosaur puns for days,” Amber laughs softly, “I think that’s why I like Cyrus so much, he's so much like Iris and she’s the best so-” 

“Cyrus is the best, I get it.” TJ rolls his eyes. 

Amber frowns at TJ for being kind of snappy but TJ didn’t really care. He was more fixated on the reminder that he had feelings for someone that would never like him back and learning that Cyrus went on a date with Iris to the museum and was dorky with puns all day just took away from a really wonderful day TJ shared with Cyrus himself at the museum. 

TJ’s eyes wander back over to Cyrus in just enough time to see Iris rest her head on Cyrus’ shoulder. TJ finds an excuse to leave Amber and her ‘Cyrus with an I’ cheer routine. 

TJ finds Marty as he was going to tell him he wasn't feeling well and wanted to leave but before TJ could get his fake excuse out, they’re interrupted by the guy that had let them in and he makes some backhanded dig at Marty. TJ was already in a grumpy mood and this jerk wasn’t exactly calming him down. TJ was just about to stand up to him when Amber beats him to it and she jumps in to defend Marty and subsequently all four middle schoolers in attendance. When Amber did this, TJ felt a little guilty for being rude to her earlier just because he was feeling sorry for himself.

Then a petty fight between Amber and the guy somehow turns into a proposed game of spin the bottle which then quickly escalates to seven minutes in heaven after a strong suggestion from Iris. 

TJ watches as cute petite little Iris grabs Cyrus’ hand and tells Amber to fix the game so she’d end up with Cyrus and of course their biggest fan, Amber was more than happy to oblige. 

Acting out of pure frustration, TJ rolls his eyes with a huff and declares that he wasn’t going to play this stupid game. The guy who suggested they play a game is quick to jump in with some less than witty retort and TJ didn’t have the patience to have a petty argument with him. Cyrus jumps in and suggests they go home before the fight could escalate into something TJ would certainly later regret. 

When Amber and Iris walk everyone to the door, TJ is already at the bottom of the porch before he realises that Cyrus has stopped to give the high schoolers a hug goodbye. A particular pang of jealousy and mildly hurt feelings occurs when TJ witnesses Cyrus and Iris share a sweet embrace. 

“Oh...” Amber says and TJ meets her confused gaze as she was already watching him. TJ nervously looks down and fears he might have just given himself away. 

TJ’s mood remains off once they return to Marty’s house. Although everyone was playing a few rounds of video games, TJ was too distracted by his thoughts of Cyrus and Iris and the painful reminder that he liked someone he would never have a chance with. 

Up until now it had been easy for TJ to push his feelings for Cyrus aside. Being friends was enough for TJ, it was especially enough now that they had been spending so much time together over the summer but with the potential rekindling of past romance made TJ remember that he was only pretending that friendship was enough.

Eventually everyone was settling down for the night, Walker and Marty were sleeping in Marty’s bedroom whilst TJ and Cyrus had been allocated a two seated sofa each in the living room. 

Cyrus begins to carefully question TJ about his seemingly off mood and TJ tries his best to casually brush it off as feeling unwell after too much sun for the day but TJ couldn’t help himself when it came to talking about Iris. TJ wanted to know exactly what was going on between her and Cyrus, even if it meant further crushing his feelings in the process. Cyrus insists they’re just friends but TJ wasn’t entirely convinced. 

When Cyrus questions again if something was bothering TJ, TJ insists he’s fine and sadly tells Cyrus he’ll get over it, in regards to the fake sickness he had but in actuality TJ meant he’d get over his feelings that were making him so down. He’d have to if he wanted to keep Cyrus in his life. 

TJ lies and says he’s tired and shuts down all further conversation with Cyrus. TJ tries to go to sleep but his mind was too occupied with upsetting thoughts of his unrequited feelings for one of his closest friends. 

The following morning, Cyrus says he’s got to meet his parents for breakfast but was interested in hanging out later. TJ leans into the ‘I feel unwell’ excuse he had fabricated the night before and turns Cyrus down, he also rejects Cyrus’ mom’s offer for a lift home, his reasoning was that his mom was on the way already. 

Once Cyrus and Walker leave Marty’s house, TJ grabs his overnight bag and is ready to leave. Marty walks him to the door and folds his arms with a quizzical look. 

“You told me yesterday that your mom was working from 6am, it’s past 8 now, so how is she on her way to pick you up?” Marty interrogates. 

“She’s starting later now.” TJ lies and Marty clearly doesn’t believe him. 

“How come you didn't want Cyrus’ mom to give you a lift home?” Marty questions. “Do you have some secret plans you’re not telling us about?” 

TJ is unamused by Marty’s playful questioning, “Anything beats hanging out with you.” 

“Wow, you’re being extra jerky this morning.” Marty scowls, “Wake up on the wrong side of the sofa?” 

“Bye, Marty.” TJ rolls his eyes and goes to exits. 

“TJ, wait.” Marty stops him by tugging at his overnight bag, “Something is up and you’re not leaving until you tell me.” 

“You know physically you wouldn't be able to stop me, right?” TJ challenges.

“I’m being serious.” Marty says.

“So am I.” TJ smirks.

“Fine, I won’t stop you.” Marty releases his grip on TJ’s bag, “But something is clearly on your mind-” 

“Marty, I have to go pick up my brother and sister from the neighbours.” TJ is impatient. 

“So you were lying about your mom coming to pick you up.” Marty accuses. “The twins wouldn’t have to be with your neighbours if she was coming to get you.” 

“I wanted to walk home, sue me.” TJ is uncomfortable but tries to brush it off. 

“Why didn’t you just say that?” Marty questions. 

“Do I really owe you an explanation?” TJ scoffs. 

“You’re being weird.” Marty states. 

“And you’re being annoying.” TJ groans. 

“What happened at the party?” Marty is firm with his questioning. “Everyone seemed to be having a good time but you.” 

“I didn’t even want to go to the party in the first place,” TJ huffs, “I didn’t know anyone there, some girls Cyrus knew wasn’t enough to sway me, I’m sorry.” 

“Someone sounds a little jealous.” Marty playfully tease. 

“What do I have to be jealous about?” TJ scoffs but it comes out nervously. 

“Cy getting all the attention.” Marty continues in his lighthearted manner.

“Yeah, he’s a real player.” TJ rolls his eyes. 

“Why are you being so anti-Cyrus?” Marty questions, “I thought you two were supposed to be like super- Oh….” Marty stops and realisation crosses his face.

“Oh what?” TJ asks defensively although he feared he already knew the answer.

“Nothing,” Marty shakes his head. “You should probably get going home to your brother and sister.” 

“Marty?” TJ frowns. 

“Seriously, it’s nothing,” Marty shakes his head again, “Well it’s not nothing, I just mean I know nothing- I don’t even know what I’m saying right now, so I’m just going to stop.” 

TJ lets out a groan as he knew Marty had worked out the truth, “You want me to say it out loud?” TJ huffs, “I like Cyrus. You happy?” With a grumble TJ makes his way out of the front door, Marty thought TJ was leaving but instead the basketball player sits himself on the front step of the porch. Marty cautiously follows. 

“I feel like a jerk.” Marty says. “I had no idea that’s what was bothering you, I wasn’t trying to force a confession from you.” 

“It’s fine.” TJ sighs.

“We don’t have to talk about it,” Marty says softly but then quickly adds, “Or we can talk about it, if you want.. You know, I’m here?” 

“I don’t want to talk about it.” TJ states. 

“That’s fine.” Marty nods but his curious stare remains fixed on TJ, suggesting that he indeed wanted to talk about it very much. 

“What?” TJ wears a mild glare. 

“It’s nothing... I mean I was always so confused about your friendship with Cyrus...” Marty says as he tosses his head around in thought, “But I never would have guessed that you-” 

“What that I could be gay?” TJ snaps defensively.

“No. That you were capable of feelings.” Marty snickers and TJ gives him a shove in the arm. Strangely enough Marty’s humorous approach made TJ a little more comfortable about him knowing. 

“You’re not going to tell anyone are you?” TJ asks, “Especially Cyrus?” 

“No, I would never.” Marty says honestly. “I’m sorry I nagged it out of you, but I’m not sorry I know.” Marty smiles understandingly. 

“Okay,” TJ nods. “Thanks.” With that TJ gets up to leave. 

“You’re going?” Marty asks surprised. 

“We’re not going to sit around and talk about my feelings.” TJ gives Marty a look. 

“It might make you feel better.” Marty insists. 

“The only person I’d want to talk to is the person I cant, so,” TJ lets out a breath, “Thanks but no thanks.” 

“Do you think Cyrus could maybe like you back?” Marty stands up excitedly. 

“High school girlfriend, Cyrus?” TJ gives Marty a dumfounded look, “No I don’t think he could like me back.”

“Just because he’s had a girlfriend doesn’t necessarily mean he doesn’t have feelings for you too.” Marty says. “You could talk to him-”

“No way, never,” TJ looks horrified. 

“Oh come on, if he turns you down, you me and Walker can make a new club.” Marty jokes.

“Why would we do that?” TJ glares.

“Because all three of us would have been turned down by the good hair crew.” Marty chuckles.

“That’s ridiculously depressing.” TJ states. 

“Hey, if it’s what bonds us together we shouldn’t fight it.” Marty shrugs.

“I’ll fight you in a second if you don’t shut up.” TJ nearly pouts, although his statement sounds like a threat, TJ was more sheepish than angered by Marty’s playful ways. 

“Okay, Okay,” Marty holds his palms out defensively, “Touchy subject, I can respect that.”

“Marty I’m being serious,” TJ is a little less guarded as he speaks and his vulnerabilities show through, “Buffy turning you down didn’t have to end your friendship but Cyrus finding out about my feelings more than likely will.”

Marty softens, maybe being overly humorous wasn’t the right approach for this situation. “TJ, this is Cyrus we’re talking about, I’ve never known him to turn his back on anyone.” Marty finds TJ’s stare so he knows he’s being heard, “I was a jerk to Buffy, cutting her off the way I did but Cyrus still invited me to his bar mitzvah and he always said hello to me at school. We might not have been buds like we were before but he was still nice to me when I didn’t deserved it.”

“I was the jerkiest jerk to Buffy and Cyrus was still a friend to me.” TJ says. 

“See.” Marty wears a small smile. “If Cyrus can forgive a couple of jerks like us he’s not going to turn his back on you for having feelings.” 

TJ nods and then he looks at Marty’s goofy smile, “I’m still not telling Cyrus I like him.” 

Marty frowns, “Fine, but I could do some investigating-” 

“Marty, no.” TJ says firmly. 

“Fine.” Marty sighs.

“Fine.” TJ parrots. “I really have to go now, my brother and sister are waiting..” 

“Right, of course.” Marty laughs as he had forgotten. “I’ll ask my dad to drive you home.” 

-

After TJ retreats home, he’s responsible for looking after Katie and Cooper until their mom finishes work. Being babysitter for the day aids in TJ’s much needed distraction from his obsessing over Cyrus. 

After lunch the twins quiet down and have little interest in hanging out with TJ as they had their own plans for the afternoon so TJ settles on the sofa and resumes his dwelling. 

Up until this point, TJ had been able to ignore his feelings to a certain extent. Sure there were moments over the summer that made TJ more aware and nervous but for the most part the two just shared a really strong friendship that TJ cherished more that anything but after being exposed to Cyrus and someone else in a romantic sense it stirred all those feelings that were comfortably sitting just below the surface. 

TJ can’t help himself so he looks up Iris on her social media pages, he stumbles across a selfie of her and Cyrus with what looked to be a stuffed dinosaur. TJ’s social media investigating only hurt his feelings more as it appeared that Iris was a decent person, kind and annoyingly pretty. 

TJ spends the week letting his down mood take control. He evades Cyrus’ attempts to hang out and spends the week at home being mopey. Eventually Marty comes over to intervene. His plan was to give TJ a little pep talk and coax him out of his reclusive state. 

“What are you doing here Marty?” TJ grumbles, it’s midday and he’s still in his pyjamas. 

“You’ve been ignoring all of my texts.” Marty furrows his brows. 

“That’s because I don’t want to speak to you.” TJ fake smiles. 

“Cyrus asked me to get lunch with him at The Spoon.” Marty explains, “Get dressed, come with me?” 

“No.” TJ folds his arms like a child. 

“You’re being ridiculous.” Marty rolls his eyes, “You can’t avoid him forever.” 

“I’m not going to avoid him forever,” TJ says, “I’m just going to avoid him until my feelings go away.” 

“What if they don’t?” Marty questions. 

“They will.” TJ insists. “They have to.” 

Marty accepts that TJ wasn’t going to join him at the diner so he goes to leave. 

“Don’t be weird okay, I don't want Cyrus to know.” TJ says. 

“Me weird?” Marty scoffs, “I’m totally cool, you won't even come up in conversation...” Marty lies as he knew full well that he was planning on doing some snooping about Cyrus’ feelings for TJ’s sake. 

Marty leaves for The Spoon only to return to TJ’s apartment later. 

“Two visits in one day, lucky me.” TJ says sarcastically. 

“Don’t pretend like you don’t want to know how Cyrus is.” Marty rolls his eyes. 

“I like Cyrus,” TJ says quietly as his mom wasn’t too far from hearing distance, “I’m not obsessed with him the way you are with Buffy.” 

“I thought we were past the whole teasing me about Buffy thing now that I’m your guy.” Marty frowns. 

“My guy?” TJ questions with a coaxed head and he had to stop himself from laughing.

“Yeah, your guy,” Marty playfully slaps TJ’s shoulder.  

“You guess my crush and then you don’t leave me alone, that does not make you my guy.” TJ says and it causes Marty to frown. 

“We will be best friends, Kippen, just you wait.” Marty says in a mock menacing way. 

TJ rolls his eyes and then sheepishly asks, “So how is Cyrus?” 

Marty tries to squash his smirk over being right. “Well he doesn’t buy that you’re sick and you avoiding him for the past week is clearly playing on his mind.” 

“Did he say something?” TJ questions. 

“No, he didn’t have to though. It was obvious.” 

“I don’t know what to do.” TJ lets out a frustrated groan. 

“I wish I had better advice to give you but all I can really say is you have to talk to him about how you feel and explain why you don't want to hang out or you have to try and get past your feelings and go back to being friends...” Marty doesn’t look like he enjoys this advice but he didn’t have much else to offer. 

“But I like him, it’s hard to ignore that.” TJ says. 

“You can’t be a jerk to someone because they don’t like you back.” Marty uses Cyrus’ advice from earlier at the diner. 

“I guess you’re right.” TJ seemed to take that onboard. 

“You know who gave me that advice?” Marty smirks, “Cyrus.” 

“You didn’t tell him did you?” TJ looks worried. 

“No, I told you I would never.” Marty says seriously. “We were talking about me and Buffy.” 

“There’s a surprise.” TJ laughs. 

“Yeah, yeah,” Marty rolls his eyes, “So what’s your plan for tomorrow?” 

“I did have one more day planned for the end of the list...” TJ starts nervously.

TJ goes on to explain how he thought of the carnival day way back at the beginning of summer. Marty suggests that TJ and Cyrus go alone but TJ strongly insists Walker and Marty attend too. 

“This isn’t me trying to trick Cyrus into a date with me where I get all gross with my feelings,” TJ folds his arms, “This is just us getting back to being friends.” 

“Fine.” Marty is disappointed, “But don’t close yourself off to the possibility, okay?” 

TJ ignores Marty’s question as he already knew that the idea of Cyrus liking him back was impossible. 

-

The carnival day unfolds nicely, TJ was settling back into his friendship with Cyrus. Being with him again was nice and TJ’s mopey avoidance the past week had distracted him from the fact that he actually really missed Cyrus. It was for this reason alone TJ was willing to try squash those feelings again and resume their close friendship. 

Later in the day TJ learns that Cyrus’ first date with Iris was at the carnival. When TJ looks to Marty, the party boy is avoiding TJ’s stare. When Marty makes an excuse to bail, TJ chases him down. 

“Why didn't you tell me, Cyrus’ first date was at the carnival with Iris?” TJ questions. “You clearly knew since you ran away so quickly.”

Marty frowns, “Okay I knew, but you looked so excited planning the day I didn’t want to tell you because I knew you would have just cancelled and not reconnected with Cyrus at all.” 

“Yeah, you’re right.” TJ groans, “It’s bad enough we already went on the museum trip together, I don’t want to be living the friendly versions of Cyrus’ past dates!” 

Marty chooses to keep his knowledge of the babysitting date to himself. 

“You were the one that said today was a friends thing,” Marty highlights, “That’s why me and Walker are here.” 

“I know.” TJ mumbles. 

“So let’s just get back to the guys and be friends?” Marty suggests. 

They return to the pair and TJ tries to get back on track with their day. After dinner, Marty eagerly lures Walker away from TJ and Cyrus. TJ knew exactly what Marty was doing and he did not appreciate it. 

TJ and Cyrus find a good spot to watch the fireworks from. The two sit down and begin discussing how the list is just two tasks from being complete. Then Cyrus questions where Walker and Marty were, TJ casually tries to explain it away but he knew that Marty would have been doing everything in his power to leave TJ alone with Cyrus for the firework display. 

The first firework sets off with a loud pop, “They’re starting,” Cyrus excitedly taps TJ’s upper arm with the back of his palm. The touch gave TJ goosebumps and his gaze lingers on Cyrus a moment before he forces himself to look up at the firework as its embers faded.

Although the firework display is grand TJ finds his gaze pointed sidewards at Cyrus more than towards the sky. 

“Those are my favourite kind,” Cyrus meets TJ’s gaze with a smile. Luckily Cyrus hadn’t caught TJ already looking his way. The two were sharing a lingering look and TJ forces himself to look back towards the display. His feelings were definitely harder to ignore now they were no longer comfortably below the surface and rather rearing their smitten heads.

The firework display wraps up and Cyrus seemed to be acting strange. TJ fears he made Cyrus uncomfortable and maybe aware of his feelings because the shorter boy couldn’t seem to get away quick enough. 

Of course TJ overthinks this the whole night and has a restless nights sleep. It doesn’t help that Cyrus ignored TJ’s texts the following day. The day after that, TJ reaches out to Marty to vent his concerns. Marty stifles the urge to call himself TJ’s guy again and lends a supportive ear. 

“I think you’re reading into things too much.” Marty tries to make TJ feel better. Marty suggests they go to the diner to get his mind off of it.  

When they arrive at The Spoon, they’re both surprised to find Cyrus there with Andi, Buffy and Jonah. Jonah asks them if they were going to sit down and Marty pushes TJ beside Cyrus making for an awkward moment. The awkward tension does not dissipate as the lunch goes on. Cyrus was definitely acting strange towards TJ and he couldn’t get out of there quick enough when Jonah suggested they leave. 

TJ dwells on this for the rest of the afternoon before he bravely decides to confront the issue and goes over to Cyrus’ house that evening. 

TJ and Cyrus go to Cy’s room to be alone and things were awkward on both sides and then out of no where the two are suddenly having a fight and TJ is storming out upset after Cyrus practically told him he didn’t want to hang out anymore. 

TJ is completely taken by surprise from this. Strangely enough he wanted to believe the reason Cyrus’ mood towards him changed purely was because he wanted to hang out with his real friends because the alternative meant Cyrus caught on to TJ’s feelings and got weird about them. 

TJ spends the next few days shutting everyone out. His mom, the twins, Walker, Marty and even Buffy when she reached out to him. TJ stayed at home in his room and only left to go to work. 

On the Friday after the carnival, TJ was at work and stayed back until close. When he’s finishing up he notices a voicemail from Buffy but when he goes to listen to it he’s surprised that it’s Cyrus leaving the message instead. 

TJ looks at the time and realises he would be two hours late to when Cyrus asked to meet. TJ stands out front of the kids gym for a moment and contemplates swinging by the park or not. 

TJ was having an internal battle, on one hand he hated the way things were between him and Cyrus but on the other hand, their stupid fight was an out for TJ. TJ could learn to accept things the way there were and it would be easier - in theory - to get over his feelings for Cyrus. 

TJ starts walking in the direction of his house and then, seconds later he turns around runs towards the park. If you asked him why, he wouldn’t have an answer. TJ didn’t know if he was running there to get over the fight, or to confirm it and end their friendship once and for all or if he was running there purely to see Cyrus. He might not have known why he ran there but he was sure glad he did.

THE END 

FINAL END NOTES: I hope you all enjoy this chapter! I really enjoyed giving TJ a voice with this update. Also a TJ and Marty friendship storyline is something I need in the show!! Tarty?? Haha! 

Anyway!!!! This story has been an absolute pleasure to write over the past month and it’s certainly kept my mind occupied during the hiatus!! Thanks so much to each and every reader! Every update I’m in awe at how verbal and positive you all are with your replies and reblogs. I will be taking sometime to message people personal thanks soon but for now I would like to put some general appreciation out there!! You have made this such a pleasant experience for me!

Much love!!  - Ebony 

#tyrus #tyrus au #tyrus fic #the list fic #tj kippen #cyrus goodman #andi mack

[writeawayharry]

Waiting on You (Daddy Harry, Part #3)

Click for Part 1 and Part 2. x

It was almost comical the way your dingy yellow uniform looked in the luxurious glow of Harry’s bedroom. Hair pulled back in a messy ponytail, white apron tied around your hips; this was the reflection that was staring back at you in the antique wooden mirror. Nervously, you smoothed the fabric over your body. You startled slightly when you heard someone clear his throat.

“You look beautiful,” Harry said, watching you from the doorframe.

You ducked your head and blushed slightly. It was still odd hearing compliments like that from him, even though you and Caleb had been staying with Harry for the past few weeks. Your apartment building had experienced a flood, and although it was still technically livable, it wasn’t exactly safe or inviting. You accepted Harry’s immediate offer for Caleb’s sake, but you hoped your son wouldn’t pick up on the large difference between what his father could give him, and what you could.

“How are you feeling?” he asked you, stepping into the room.

You shrugged. How were you feeling? Many things, of course. You knew your job waitressing would come to an end eventually, you just didn’t think you’d be saying goodbye so soon. It would be hard; you were leaving your friends, your income, and your independence.

“That place, those people, they were there for me when I needed them.”

Harry looked at you softly. There was no chance in hell he was happy with the fact that a damn diner was there for you when he wasn’t. But he also knew you, and knew what it meant to have your own job.

“I better say goodbye to Caleb,” you told him, stepping away from Harry and towards the door.

He nodded. “Oh Y/N? Are you still coming with us tomorrow night?”

You thought for a moment, then gave him a small nod.

There was some huge party—just because—hosted by his record label to take place the following evening. It was going to be at the swankiest place, and although you didn’t particularly want to go, Caleb did. Which meant you were going as well.

“Yeah, we’re still on.”

…

Cayley wrapped her arms tightly around your body and had no intention of letting go.

“Don’t forget about us waitresses when you’re living the fancy life on a yacht,” she said, sniffling.

“Oh, of course I won’t,” you told her sincerely.

Your last work shift passed by in a blur, by far the fastest ever.

“I have something for you,” Cayley said, leaning behind her.

Your eyes widened in surprise.

“Cayley, you didn’t need to get me anything!”

“It’s not for you, actually. It’s for Caleb. Just some chicken fingers,” she smiled.

You threw yourself into her arms one last time and let the tears fall.

They continued to stream down your face when you left the diner and stepped into Harry’s car, which was waiting for you in the back lot.

“Come here,” he said softly as soon as he saw you.

There you sat, in the front seat of his Rover, legs straddling his hips for half an hour. His hands gently stroked through your hair, setting off tingles on your scalp. Even when you had stopped crying, you sat there, motionless. It just felt too damn good.

“Let’s go home,” Harry said finally.

But where was home?

…

It wasn’t the plan to travel to the party separately from Harry, but he had been called to the venue several hours earlier from his manager.

“Go!” you insisted. “We’ll meet you there.”

“It’s probably important, or else he wouldn’t have called…” Harry explained.

You held your hand up.

“You don’t need to justify yourself to me.”

So that was why you were standing in front of the same mirror as the night before, but this time in a short, black cocktail dress.

Gosh.

You hadn’t worn something of the sort since before you were pregnant.

“Wow, you look smoking hot!” Gemma whistled as she came into the room with Caleb, dressed in a gray blazer. You blushed bright pink.

“Why don’t you look so handsome, little man!” you cooed.

“You look really pretty, Mommy! Mr. Monkey thinks you look pretty too!” Caleb said, clutching his stuffed friend.

“Seriously, you’ll have my brother on his knees in no time,” Gemma continued.

You shot her daggers. “Uh…Caleb, why don’t you and Mr. Monkey go pee before we leave?” you said, trying to get them out of the room.

“Gemma! So not appropriate! Or true,” you added quietly.

You went to sit down on the bed and plopped all the way down, your head hitting the soft mattress. Gemma joined you, doing the same.

“You still have no idea how he feels about you, do you?” she whispered. “He offered you his house…”

“Yeah, because I’m the mother of his son and we had no where to go,” you countered.

You felt Gemma’s body stiffen on the bed beside yours. “Look,” she began. You were surprised at the hardness in her voice. “Think what you want, but know that you’re hurting everyone around you. Even yourself. Especially yourself.”

…

You thought about what Gemma said as you drove to the party. Was Gemma right? Did Harry still feel things for you? More important, did he feel the way about you that you felt about him?

You found your answer in the form of a red headed woman hanging onto Harry’s arms as he mingled with the guests. She was a little intoxicated, and was clearly very friendly with your ex-husband.

Caleb saw his dad and ran straight towards him. You followed his path slowly.

“Y/N,” Harry smiled. He leaned in to kiss your cheek and you turned away at the last minute, denying him.

“I’m gonna make sure Caleb doesn’t get into trouble,” you said without looking into his eyes.

The weather was beautiful, at least there was that. Most of the party was outdoors, and you sat under the stars on a barstool, watching Caleb play with some of the other children.

“I’m sorry, do I know you?” the man sitting across from you asked.

You fought the urge to roll your eyes. Was this a line?

“No, sorry,” you answered curtly.

“No, no, I do,” he insisted. “You’re Y/N, Harry’s ex. I’m Joel Ward; I mix the backing vocals at the record label.”

Shit. Now that name did sound familiar.

“Oh, right, sorry,” you said sheepishly.

“No worries,” he chuckled. “I know this may not be the place to talk about this, but Harry had mentioned you were looking for an accounting job? My sister has her own firm and she’s looking for…”

“Yes,” you said immediately, without shame.

If he was offering you a job, you were taking it.

He laughed, a pleasant sound.

“I actually have the details in a room somewhere here. You interested in looking at it now?” Joel asked.

You nodded enthusiastically, and sent Caleb to stay with his dad.

…

You tried not to feel uncomfortable as Joel led you by the hand to one of the rooms inside. It was down a long hallway. You looked around curiously; what the hell was this place?

“Right here,” Joel said quietly, opening up a door to a dark room.

“Here?” You looked around. It was a bedroom. And it was empty. “This is where you have the stuff about the job?”

Joel laughed, and this time it wasn’t such a pleasant sound. “What fucking job?”

Your heart sank. He began to remove his tie from around his neck.

“Joel, I don’t know what this is…”

“Oh come on, you’re single and I’m…my girlfriend won’t mind,” he winked.

Gross.

“I’m leaving,” you announced, your voice shaking.

Joel’s hand went underneath your dress and you felt it skim a place you didn’t want anyone but Harry touching.

“I don’t think so!” you said, slapping him across the face and making a clean getaway.

You had reached the main section of the party when you ran into a solid body. Harry.

“Y/N, what the hell?”

You were panting so hard you could barely breathe. He held you close and whispered sweet nothings, still oblivious to what was going on.

“Joel…” you panted.

Speak of the devil, he approached Harry as if nothing happened.

“Did you fucking do something to her? Did you fucking try something?” Harry seethed, stepping in front of you protectively.

“Nah, I didn’t do anything with that nun. Must say, Styles, I can see why you’re still so hung up on this one. She must have one tight pussy considering how little she puts out…”

That was the last thing Joel said before Harry’s fist collided with his jaw.

“Harry!”

“Daddy!”

“Stay away from my wife!” Harry said, pulling you and Caleb away.

God. Why did Harry have to punch him in front of Caleb?

“What the hell, Harry?” you asked a few feet from where it all went down.

“Look,” Harry whispered. “I can’t explain right now, there’s something I have to do.”

And just like that, he left you standing with Caleb.

Then you head his voice coming from a speaker.

“Um…is this thing on?” he joked.

What was he doing?

“Right, course it is. So, um, this is a song I wrote recently. It’s called Waiting on You. It’s about how sometimes you have that person, you’ll take anything they give you, even if it’s not all of them. Because you just love them so much, that they’re worth the wait. Because there’s nothing in the world I’d rather be doing than be waiting on you.”

Before he even began to sing you were crying. And when the song was done and the crowd clapped, you were still crying.

When the party finished, Caleb skipped happily as you walked wordlessly beside Harry toward his car.

“Harry,” you said, breaking the silence. “I still love you.”

What? That wasn’t what you had wanted to say when you opened your mouth. But it was true.

He stopped walking and looked at you sideways with a beautiful smile.

“God, I’ve been waiting for that.”

THE END. Thanks so much for reading! x

#harry styles #harry #harry styles writing #daddy harry #harry one shots #harry imagines #harry styles one shots #harry styles imagines #harry styles fanfiction #harry fanfiction #one direction #one direction one shots #one direction imagine #1d #harry styles angst

[youngadultquoted]

Recommended Reads of 2017

Well, folks, it’s the end of the year, which means it’s time for my annual Top Ten Favorite Books post.  All of these books were published this year (and I also read them this year), and I’ve ranked them so that #1 is my absolute favorite book of the year and so on.  Without further ado, here's my list:

10. Words in Deep Blue by Cath Crowley: This novel follows a girl who pretty much severed all ties with her friends from her hometown upon moving across the country, including the boy she had a crush on.  After the death of her brother, she returns to the town and reconnects with her old friends.  It takes place in a bookshop, and it was just such a sweet story.  I was definitely tearing up at the end.

9. The Upside of Unrequited by Becky Albertalli: This is about Molly, a girl who has had 26 crushes in her lifetime but has never acted on any of them.  It’s pretty much just the story of her first real love.  To be perfectly honest, the main reason it’s on this list is because of the super adorable love interest.  He’s my little cinnamon roll and I will protect him at all costs, so don’t even try me.

8. We Are Okay by Nina LaCour: This story is about a girl who is staying at her university over winter break and is all alone on campus.  She uprooted her whole life without really saying goodbye upon leaving for college and she has to come to terms with that now that she is alone.  But then her friend comes to visit and the novel explores their relationship and its dynamics. (I don’t know if you can tell, but it’s been a while since I read this and the plot kind of escapes me oops.)

7. When Dimple Met Rishi by Sandhya Menon: This is about Dimple, a girl who goes to a summer camp where kids get to develop an app, and Rishi, whose parents send him to the same camp because they have arranged for him to (eventually) marry Dimple.  Dimple is definitely not down with this plan, but Rishi isn’t about to give up easily.  It was super-duper cute, and I loved it.

6. Turtles All the Way Down by John Green: For any of you have been living under a rock, this is John Green’s first novel in 5 years.  I devoured this book in two days (it would have been faster but school happened).  It’s about Aza, a girl with OCD who is just trying to get through high school.  She and her friend decide to get involved in the search for a millionaire, and craziness ensues.

5. Hunger: A Memoir of (My) Body by Roxane Gay: This was one of my first ever ventures into the world of memoir, and I’m digging it.  Roxane Gay is a remarkable writer and human.  The memoir focuses on her life and experiences as an overweight woman, and it was heart-breaking and wonderful.  I loved it.

4. Far From the Tree by Robin Benway: This story follows three siblings, two of whom are adopted and the other has been in the foster system his entire life.  It’s the story of them finally meeting one another and their decision to search for their biological mom.  It’s devastating and hopeful and fantastic.  I could not stop reading it.

3. The Hate U Give by Angie Thomas: You’ve all probably heard about this story already, and for good reason.  It’s about Starr, a girl whose friend is killed in front of her by a police officer and the absolute madness that ensues.  It’s based on the Black Lives Matter movement and it’s incredible and so, so important.

2. A List of Cages by Robin Roe: This book broke me.  It’s hopeful, but it’s also heart-wrenching and a serious tearjerker.  I was an absolute mess near the end.  It’s about the friendship between two boys and it is such a touching story.  I think about it a lot.

And now, the moment you’ve all been waiting for, my favorite book of 2017...

1. The Names They Gave Us by Emery Lord: No offense, but y’all are sleeping on this book (and on Emery Lord).  She just keeps writing better and better books.  Don’t get me wrong, I loved Open Road Summer and The Start of Me and You (I haven’t read When We Collided yet), but wow... this was absolutely incredible.  It’s about a preacher’s daughter who usually goes to her family’s Bible camp during the summer, but her parents make her go to a camp for troubled teens when her mother gets sick.  She forms great friendships with some of the most well-written side characters I have read in a long time.  I loved literally everything about this story.  I was actually sobbing at the end because I had become so attached to these characters.  If Emery Lord continues to write like this, I cannot wait to read her future books.

[avoresmith]

au where anyone other than atsushi is the main character, go

Kyouka

Kyouka is the most obvious option here, as her character arc literally follows Atsushi’s beat by beat and does it better because she gets to be seen having actual flaws and conflict while Atsushi’s point in life is just to Be Very Good. 

She’s an orphan who was beat down badly by the universe and needs to make peace with her Gift and how it’s uncontrolled presence in her life has played a huge part in all of the painful garbage she’s had to deal with. She has to learn to not just value her own life (Atsushi) but learn to believe she is capable of using the same abilities she used to kill to help people and that there is value to that (Dazai). She has a connection to Akutagawa, a better one than Atsushi, who just thinks that guy is a dangerous asshole, as Akutagawa fucked her up by trying to 'help’ her the same way Dazai 'helped’ him (which echoes the fact that Dazai fucked up Akutagawa by trying to teach Akutagawa the way he was taught by Mori). This creates a way more dynamic and interesting victims vs their abusers and cycle of violence story that they were TRYING to do with Atsushi and his abuser that falls completely flat, on account of how that guy wasn’t actually a character and we are just told we’re supposed to sympathize with him because ‘life is complicated’ instead of actually shown the ways in which life is fucking complicated. 

This would also allow for a narrative of victims vs their abusers where ACTUALLY HAVE, A VICTIM, CHALLENGING THEIR ABUSER AND DEMANDING THEY DO BETTER instead of what we currently have which is 1) Dazai flees Mori and hates him (legit) 2) Akutagawa seeks Dazai’s acknowledgement forever (no?? buddy) 3) Atsushi cries when his abuser died trying to maybe be nice to him for once finally =‘( (ohmygod).

Also, while Dazai and Atsushi mean... something?? to each other, it’s practically only relevant in Atsushi’s arc as something to yell at Akutagawa about, and while we can Assume Dazai Has Feelings we basically never see Dazai impacted by Atsushi. However, if it was Dazai who stops Kyouka from killing herself and takes her out of the mafia we have Dazai directly engaging with his perspective on suicide, and saving someone from the mafia in a way he was never saved, and this leads into him Also Engaging With All Of That, which then could be a continuing theme within their relationship.

(And I didn’t Go In This Direction because my central argument is that Kyouka already does everything Atsushi is doing if better and if given more focus could dramatically improve the manga, but also her relationship with Kouyou could also be given more prominence, and then holy shit, we’d have two important ladies instead of just one!)

In this AU Atsushi honestly doesn’t even need to exist. Kyouka could make friends with Kenji instead, and they could have adorable hyjinks where Kenji teaches her how to be polite to people and then they both get way too extra if politeness fails. 

(MORE UNDER THE CUT)

Akutagawa

This would probably have to be a darker manga, or Akutagawa would have to be less garbage, but as one of the only characters with multiple interesting relationships he is kind of a natural point to focus around. He has Gin, Higuchi, Kyouka, (thREE WOMEN) and Dazai as far as relationships that already important, and Chuuya and Mori and Kouyou are all characters that could be explored more if the manga was more mafia focused. While the mafia aren’t actually villains anyway, this change would make them more sympathetic, but Akutagawa would still be a really interesting MC, and this would fix the fact that Atsushi is only interesting around Akutagawa. 

Unlike Atsushi, Akutagawa has clear wants, motivations, and character progression, so Atsushi makes a lot more sense as Akutagawa’s rival character than the reverse. Boy with garbage life collides into the boy his master replaced him with, only to constantly seethe with anger that this asshole was so fucking lucky. Eventually discovers that his rival’s life actually wasn’t that easy but still can’t comprehend why his rival doesn’t appreciate what he has enough, or why this prick is worth more to his master than he was. Cue a compelling dynamic of Akutagawa improving himself relentlessly while not fully understanding what path he is on, but desperate to get out of the trashfire of his life. He thinks this means earning Dazai’s approval but in fact it means learning he doesn’t need to be a terrible human being to survive.

This would make Dazai far LESS sympathetic, but Dazai sucks so that is only fair.

Dazai

Okay, I won’t lie, Dazai would a SUPER CHALLENGING perspective character for a manga. What makes Dazai’s writing so amazing is how deftly he handles the unreliable narrator, which is hard to do when we don’t actually see the world via the MC’s perspective. And while I am happy to rag on BSD all the live long day, I do think one if it’s strengths is that it picked up on what an interesting character Dazai-types would be viewed exclusively from the outside, and has managed to portray that sort of peculiar contradiction of personality traits quite well. 

HOWEVER, despite being the most popular character, we never really get to see Dazai having a character arc. We know he has improved, we know he has wants and is actually probably working very hard to get his life in order, but we only know any of that from the end of the light novel to the start of the manga. We don’t actually get to see Dazai having conflict, confronting his fears, making hard choices, and growing as a person. 

However, while we never really see it in the manga, given what we know about Dazai’s history, we can probably assume that the choices Dazai makes to help Atsushi is something that actually impacts Dazai quite a bit. The last time he put himself in this position the result was Akutagawa; a challenge which Dazai completely failed on many levels, even if the result was technically a very loyal and capable mafioso and thus something Mori would have slated as a win. Dazai engaging with what it means to teach a human without himself knowing how to be a good human, and probably in the process also learning about ‘goodness’ via someone like Atsushi who is naturally inclined toward the heroic, would actually give Atsushi an interesting place the narrative. 

This would make Dazai waaaaaay more sympathetic, as we would also presumably see him struggling to adapt to ADA life, see his masks slip more often, and more signs of the fact that for real these last two years of being around decent human beings from 9 to 5 is probably the first time in his life he’s dealt with such people. We’d also get to see that he’s probably still depressed, drunk, and suicidal, but may be able to chart the ways he gradually becomes less so and what prompts those improvements. 

Kenji

Kenji is also a nice boy who wants to talk it out but then will beat the shit out of you if that attempt fails. What if instead of being a 2D one time gag character he actually had a motivation and a character arc to engage with? He could more or less follow the same story beats Atsushi sets up, just done better and with less redundancy. Kenji would make an interesting foil for Akutagawa since by all appearances his life wasn’t garbage, and his ceaseless tone deaf optimism in the face of Akutagawa’s ceaseless tone deaf fury would be, if nothing else, pretty fucking entertaining. 

Kunikida

wOW ANOTHER HEROIC CHARACTER WHO USES VIOLENCE TO RESOLVE CONFLICT. IT’S LIKE THERE ARE A BUNCH OF THESE. What if Kunikida being Dazai’s partner was at all narratively relevant and they had a dynamic that went deeper than Dazai aggravating Kunikida for the lulz and Kunikida being willing to trust Dazai when the chips are down.

Since Kunikida is slated to be the next leader of the ADA he makes a potentially compelling choice as a protagonist, as it would be an easy way to involve all of the (MANY) under appreciated ADA characters, by having their future boss learn what it means to actually work with and appreciate the backgrounds of his various future underlings. It wouldn’t need to be slated specifically as ‘Kunikida Is The Heir’ but given that it’s a shounen manga it could be effortlessly set up that way, and unlike Atsushi, Kunikida has a LOT of obvious flaws. He is naive, inflexible, emotionally vulnerable, distrustful, impatient, judgmental, and gullible. He also has CLEAR WANTS (Idealism) seeing him struggling for something fundementally unattainable and the ways he learns to update his ideal of idealism, in part by overcoming his individual flaws and in part by realizing that while idealism might be worth seeking it cannot be achieved. He would have a lot to learn from every member of the team, and in doing so could give them more importance to the story.

Yosano

you waNNA KNOW WHO IS GREAT AND DEEPLY UNDER APPRECIATED?? YOSANO. IT’S YOSANO. AU where actually Yosano is the main character. If you need a more compelling argument than that IDK what to say to you.

Tanizaki

What if Tankizaki had a narrative purpose other than gag and deus ex ability.

Mishima

AU where Mishima Yukio is in the manga, he’s an ex-government worker who was fired for being a bit too radical but he deeply respects and is super gay for Fukuzawa’s aesthetic and agrees to join the ADA. Rather than being Dazai’s protege he fancies himself Dazai’s rival and is intent to expose what garbage he is but the joke is on him because everyone knows that including Dazai. 

None the less, Mishima also is a more callous and aloof person who wears a friendly mask and via picking at Dazai he picks at himself. The more fixated he gets on exposing Dazai, the more he has to confront the fact that the world is more complicated than he wants it to be and it frightens him to examine the degree to which he doesn’t feel he actually belongs among society and thus tries very hard to construct a place for himself in it with his radical behavior and exacting standards, whereas Dazai accepts that he just should go in the trash. 

Dazai, in response, really doesn’t like being picked at effectively. Everyone else within the ADA accepts the masks he wears without question, never actually confronting his suicidal ideation or talking to him about where he comes from, even once they know about it. Mishima, in his relentless pursuit of being able to classify and deconstruct Dazai to overcome him, does just this, and frankly it sucks a lot for Dazai because Mishima would be the first person to A) learn the grueling details of his past and B) understand how fucked up that is for someone like Dazai who is only hiding his sensitivity and C) still look him in the eye and tell him to get his shit together. Mishima becomes the first person since Odasaku who actually understands Dazai but this time it is the worst because Mishima is mean. 

Dazai counters by ruining Mishima’s life in the most extraordinarily petty ways as frequently as possible.

Atsushi

ALTERNATIVELY. Atsushi actually is a good protagonist.

HERE IS AN EXERCISE, WHAT DO EACH OF THESE SHOUNEN HEROES WANT AND HOW DO WE KNOW?

Edward Elric: wants the philosopher’s stone, will do basically anything for it, we find this out in chapter 1.

Gon Freaks: Wants to find his dad, chapter 1

Luffy: Wants to find his dad, chapter 1

Allen Walker: wants to save everyone from akuma because dad feels, chapter, idk, like 3

Naruto: Wants the acknowledgement of his village, works tirelessly for it. We find this out in like chapter 1. (yeah I know naruto is bad don’t @ me but look the MC had a clear motivation)

(AV have you read any shounen manga since 2001-- nO)

Atsushi: Wants... uh. To not starve??? This need is met in chapter 1. Wants to... be.. a good employee...? Wants to beat Akutagawa because... he’s bad....??? Wants to... make Dazai proud...?

It’s not impossible to write a story with a MC who isn’t clearly motivated, but it’s a fuckload harder to make it compelling and you prrrroobably need to have some other kind of clear focus to replace the fact that your MC does not. IE if you are specially exploring the story of an unmotivated hero, you frame his actions around the fact that he is really just doing things by route and how this separates him from the people around him who actually have priorities in their life. 

Or, if you want to be like ‘Atsushi’s motivation is that he cares and wants to help!’ LOOK: If they are sO HEROIC that they just nEED TO BE THE HERO ALL THE TIME (Allen Walker) either because they lack self worth (Allen Walker) or are so empathetic that they can’t help but try to save everyone (Allen Walker), you narratively frame the story around them so that it highlights this as both a strength and a weakness of their character. The inability to save everyone vs feeling like your life only has value if you can save everyone is deeply fucked up and should haunt your MC.

The manga starts to slightly course correct Atsushi after waaay too many chapters, which is why he starts having an actually interesting dynamic with Akutagawa. But now he wants to ‘overcome his abuser’, and though this itself is extremely unclear as to what it means. I suspect it means ‘continue to do the exact same shit he’s being doing until he believes in himself’ whichhhhh is boring. It could work if the framing is consistent and Atsushi begins to have actual conflict with his own behavior and the way he treats his life as disposable and his suffering as unimportant. 

He could also use some flaws, which, again, we only see signs off later in the game with his Akutagawa relationship. Atsushi can be forgiven for not realizing that Dazai was horrible to Akutagawa, since neither Dazai nor Akutagawa will ever explain that, but he is still pretty shitty to Akutagawa deliberately! And it’s nice seeing him be a little prick.

If everything that is happening now with Atsushi had happened from the beginning, you know how you are supposed to start a shounen manga with the protagonist actually doing anything interesting or important, the manga would be much less bad. If Atsushi had more than like 1.5 flaws and a .75 motivation now, the manga would also be a lot better.

I don’t actually like this idea as much as all of my other ones, but if he MUST be the MC, what if he was actually good at it at all.

#bsd #bungou stray dogs #op me #media musings #manga #what if this thing i loved was good #nothing aggrieves like missed potential #i didn't think about most of these #before i started ranting #but actually i like a lot of these ideas #plz put mishima in manga #kyouka not bieng the mc is the biggest betrayal #but i'd read the kunikida manga #and the kenji #maybe not the tanizaki

[wrestlinghasmelike-blog]

Monday Night Raw Review December 11, 2017

What’s up, everyone!? It’s Monday again, I had half of my finals this morning, and now it’s time for Raw! Here’s my review!

Please let me know what you thought of the show tonight, and what you thought of my review. Any type of feedback is welcome! Thanks so much!

Opening Segment- Samoa Joe

The show opened with Samoa Joe calling out all three members of the Shield, but Roman Reigns was especially on Joe’s list. I love hearing Joe on the mic because he’s good at cutting a promo. He’s always very intimidating and powerful on the mic, and it just works for his character so well. I liked how they had that moment in the back where they showed Seth and Dean watching Joe and they were like, “Go get Roman and show him this.” It was just something I appreciated. I think sometime in the near future we need to see Samoa Joe as a champ again. I think he would be a fighting champ and a damn good one. Roman finally answered Joe’s challenge, and this segment ended with all members of the Shield and the Bar in an all-out brawl, with Samoa Joe hanging his head high. The crowd didn’t seem too impressed with anything until the Shield came out, but hopefully, they wake up later in the night.

Women’s Tag Match- Bayley/Mickie James v. Paige/Mandy Rose

This promises to be a good match! I’m still not over my excitement about Paige being back, it’s been so great to have her back! I think that ABSOLUTION works for Raw, and only Raw. I love Ruby Riott and her squad on Smackdown, don’t get me wrong, but I think if they wanted this, it should have been done a bit differently on both brands. I want Mandy Rose to change up her hear a little bit, though. If you wanna say “Women’s Division” or “Women’s Revolution”, I don’t think that the image she presents says that. She gives me a “Diva’s” vibe, and everyone wants to move past that. While I’m still talking about gear, I thought Bayley looked like a Wild Berry poptart! This match was okay, nothing special or hard-hitting in my eyes to be honest. Bayley had a good leg sweep on the apron on Paige that I thought really gave this match the momentum that it needed, but Paige and Mandy picked up the win in a very heel way, and that was that!

Finn Balor v. Curtis Axel

Hi um yes please don’t call Finn the “first universal champion” if you aren’t gonna give him another shot at the title. I hate seeing Finn in a position like this where he’s wrestling bottom-card guys who don’t help him get anywhere. Finn is a future hall of famer, and he just doesn’t deserve this treatment. (also I sent him a tweet this weekend and he liked it! It wasn’t a retweet, but I’ll take a like!) YOU ALSO DON’T CUT TO COMMERCIAL DURING HIS ENTRANCE WHAT THE FUCK! I did really like how Curtis and Bo were mocking Finn when they came out to the ring, that was cute, and we got a Finn chuckle in the ring! The attack on Finn in the beginning was bogus, I didn’t need that at all. Curtis didn’t look half bad for this being his first match in what feels like years, and that snapmare takedown he had was nice! This match only got like, 6 minutes, which is so not okay. A coup de grace got Finn the win, and that was it. Nothing else. Of course I’m happy to see Finn every week, but he deserves something better. #FinnBalorDeservesBetter

Seth Rollins v. Sheamus

There have been a lot of rumours circulating that Sheamus might have spinal stenosis, which is the same condition that retired Edge and Stone Cold, and I hope that this isn’t the case and that Sheamus is okay. Both of these guys are fantastic wrestlers, and with the right storyline, they could put on a great main event PPV match! During this match, I’m mostly paying attention to the bumps that Sheamus is taking, to see if he’s specifically protecting his neck. It didn’t seem like Sheamus or Seth were being too careful, and he’s getting thrown everywhere in and out of the ring! Sheamus had some really great spots all throughout the match, especially with the axe handle in the beginning, and that cloverleaf submission was beautiful! Seth found his energy again towards the end but quickly lost it because he was selling his leg/knee during the match. Seth found that energy again with a huge superplex and a falcon arrow, but another kickout from Sheamus! Sheamus looked strong the entire match, but Seth picked up his victory with that weird knee strike he does as his finisher? Best wishes to Sheamus as the week goes on, I really hope this rumor isn’t true.

“Second Chance” Fatal Four Way- Cruiserweights

First of all, I am very happy that WWE took a stand against Rich Swann following his arrest for domestic abuse. That is not okay at all, and I’m glad WWE stood by their no tolerance policy. I am hoping that this division can wow me again this week because I’ve been so happy with them lately I love it. Tonight, we get to see Tony Nese, Cedric Alexander, Mustafa Ali, and Davari in a fatal four way to see who faces Drew Gulak next week. Over these past few weeks, I have loved seeing all the fast-paced action that these competitors bring to the ring, and tonight was no different. Cedric and Ali were my favorite ones to watch, but Tony Nese really impressed me tonight as well. Ali had that great popup dropkick in the beginning, and that was the moment that I was really into this match. The athleticism that these competitors showed was amazing, but it did falter in energy for me through the middle of the match. It picked up again when Ali hit that reverse 450 splash, and again when Cedric hit his finisher. Cedric ended up with a second chance victory, and will face Drew Gulak next week to contend for the cruiserweight title.

Cesaro v. Roman Reigns

Another “open-challenge” where we know who’s fighting before the show even starts. I guess this isn’t an open challenge then. I still love Roman’s “fighting champion” schtick and I hope he continues it for a while. Once the bell rang, these guys were ready to start fighting. This match really took awhile to get going, and it didn’t have anything behind it until the ending moments in my opinion. There weren’t many spots before the commercial break, and then when they came back from break, it wasn’t any better! Cesaro had Roman in a lot of holds and arm bars and submissions, which is fine for Cesaro, but it really keeps the momentum low and the crowd uninterested. Roman finally rallied back, and then he did that weird apron kick, and it just didn’t work for me really. The biggest moment for me I think is when Cesaro threw Roman into the ring post shoulder first because it was so loud and so hard-hitting. Cesaro is a great competitor and I feel like this wasn’t his greatest showcase. Roman finished the match with a spear, and retained his title again.

Women’s segment

I wanted this to be Asuka vs. Alicia again! I should’ve known that ABSOLUTION was gonna come out and ruin this. I wish this was an actual match and not a waste of time like it ended up being

Dean Ambrose v. Samoa Joe

I forgot this match was happening because this episode has already been so packed with matches. The opening moments of this match were already better than Roman’s match. Jason Jordan decided to sit on top of the ramp like Joe did last week and Jordan can just go away I’m so done with him. Before the commercial break, Joe hit Dean with an overhead kick, and I think Joe is more athletic than some people think and give him credit for. When the show returns, the crowd doesn’t seem too excited about anything, and it just feels like nothing is happening in this match. Dean slapped Joe in the face, and Joe had the best reaction. The camera keeps going back to Jason and I just don’t wanna see him anymore. Dean brought Joe over the top rope and I thought the way they did that was very cool! Dean also launched himself over the top and collided with Jordan and Joe, which was also great. I’m already predicting that Joe and Jordan will have a match next week and I hope that Joe kills him. Dean ended up being the only member of the Shield that lost tonight, as Joe locked in the clutch. 

Braun v. Kane

The moment in the back with Titus Worldwide and Gallows/Anderson before the match was really funny because Braun just screamed his name and everyone ran away! I don’t super like this match because Big Guy vs. Big Guys isn’t really all that exciting to me, but I think this will prove me wrong because Braun is so athletic and fast. Braun is really pressing Kane tonight, and Braun’s speed is really helping here. I’m surprised Kane went for the chokeslam so fast, but Braun barely kicked out at 2! And Strowman got a chokeslam in on Kane! BOTH MEN WENT THROUGH THE BARRICADE! A DOUBLE COUNT OUT! COULD THIS MEAN THAT ONE MR. FINN BALOR IS OVER AND WILL FACE BROCK NEXT WEEK!? Thank god nothing happened in this match, I did not want to see any more of this.

I didn’t love tonights Raw to be perfectly honest. There wasn’t really a favorite match that I had, and it was just meh. A lot of times, the commentary was more interesting than the matches. I’m hoping with that double DQ tonight, Brock will come by next week and then Finn will come out and challenge him. I guess we’ll have to wait another week!

Thanks for reading!

-Casey

#wwe #wrestling reviews #monday night raw #finn balor #wrestlinghasmelike #wrestling blog #roman reigns #kane #jason jordan #samoa joe #the shield

[evigevak]

Interview with Tarjei on radio P3 morgen June 7th 2017

Interviewer: You have been on top of my dream guest list for half a year Tarjei Sandvik Moe. Tarjei: So nice. I: Welcome to P3 Morgen. T: Thank you. I: Ok, there’s a lot of stuff to celebrate in your life lately. Two Gullruten awards, that’s cool. TV moment of the year and Publikumsprisen. The two awards the audience could influence, you and Henrik Holm won. A TV season that affected a whole world during fall last year. Here at home you’ve become 18, congratulations on your birthday.

T: Thank you. I’m alive. I: How did you celebrate? T: I… It was a Wednesday so I woke up and went to buy beer. I: In the morning? T: Yes, yes I think so. I: Was is a good feeling to finally be able to buy beer. Did they ask for an ID? T: Yes. I: Congratulations. Because I remember my 20th birthday. I went to the Wine Monopoly to finally buy legally, and they didn’t ask for an ID. T: Right. I: But did the person behind the disk notice that it was your birthday? T: No, I had to tell them. I: You did that. T: I tend to brag a lot about myself so I said: “Hi, this is the first time I’m buying alcohol. Look at my ID. It’s 24.05. today. You can’t stop me now. I: What did the shop person say? T: “That’s huge. I remember my own time. I’m going to remember your face. But I don’t do that anymore.” It was a nice intention though. I: What did you receive from your parents on your 18th birthday? T: They will pay for my driver’s licence. Traffic courses and stuff like that. I: That’s a pretty good present. Huge. T: Yeah, it’s a lot of money. But I’m very scared of traffic. So that’s.. crash. I: Traffic in general? T: Traffic is scary in general. I: Why? T: I have weird experiences with it. The traffic is like “Fuck you Tarjei”. So… I’m serious. I: What has the traffic done to you? T: When I’m going home, I take the 21 bus from Frogner. Once, I sat on the 21 bus and then the 19 tram came and “bam”, and I just “woah”.   I: Did you collide with the tram while you were on the bus? T: Yes, I didn’t get any physical… I: But you experienced it, wow. T: Yes. I: That’s impressive, but it ruined your experience. Is that the reason why you’re not getting a driver’s licence Tarjei? T: Partly, and that I once went on in Grünerløkka and was looking down on my phone, listening to music, and the tram went by right behind me. I nearly felt it in my back. I: I’m thinking Tarjei. You should not become a tram driver. T: No. I have bad experiences with trams. I: Perhaps project the aggression to the tram, or think positively about the traffic. Are you an inattentive person? T: Yes. That’s it. I’m all over the place and I can’t really keep track of what’s happening in my surroundings. I feel like that’s a bad starting point for a driver. I: At least you’re aware of it. T: Yes. I: Then you can do something about it. I: There are a lot of bad drivers out there. But for now, you’ve put the driver’s licence on pause. T: Yes. I’m doing the basic traffic course (trafikalt grunnkurs) next week. I: Then you are already on your way. T: Yes, I’ve started. I: Because you need more challenges, more things to spend time on in your life. We’ll talk about all the other stuff you do shortly. *Song starts playing* I: Me and Silje are visited by the person who has conquered the whole world, Tarjei Sandvik Moe. T: Hello. I: What a huge success season 3 of Skam is. What’s it like when there are people outside your school waiting for you all day, from another country? What’s that like? T: I feel responsible for taking a picture with them at least. “We have taking plane 13 hours.” Then I say “I can take 2 minutes of my time to take a picture.” I: How many minutes do you spend on a regular Wednesday, taking pictures with people? T: A regular Wednesday? Perhaps 15-20 minutes. It varies a lot. Suddenly they want to stop and talk. You have to have a conversation and stuff like that, so a lot of time. 20 times 365 is a lot of minutes. I: It’s fascinating how this fandom works. Because we announced on air a few hours ago, that you were coming. And right before 8 o’clock we received an email from Brazil, from Felipe Lima. I don’t understand how this works. Somehow, the fact that you’re here has reached Brazil, and now he has sent us an email. T: What’s Felipe saying? I: He wants.. He loves you. T: That’s nice. I: He loves Skam and Tarjei’s, your work, and he wants you to say “Hi Felipe” now. T: Hello Felipe. This is the T-man. I love that you love me. I: Say I love Brazil. T: I love Brazil. I’ve been there. I: You’ve been to Brazil, it’s not a lie? T: Of course. I was in Brazil when the world championship was held there. I watched a few football matches. I: Apparently it’s Instagram that does these things. I don’t know. It’s a universe of its own. Where you’re one of the main characters. T: Except I’m not in it myself. I: Exactly. Do you get a bit stressed thinking about it all the stuff that’s going on there? Stuff you’re not able to see? T: I think I’d be more stressed if I see it. It’s liberating to know that they have their own little playground where they can toy around with my face, and I can just stroll around in Oslo on my own, and not think about it. I: You do notice it right? Because you receive gifts in the mail. T: Yes. I: What’s the weirdest thing you’ve received? T: People send stuff to Nissen because they don’t know where I live. I: That’s good. T: There are a lot of messages from the office like “Tarjei, come to the office”. And I’m like thinking I’m going to get scolded and thrown out of school. Then I arrive and they’re like “Hey, someone has sent you a tie.” I: That’s nice. T: From China. I: What’s the weirdest thing you’ve received? T: I’ve received a stuffed animal that is supposed to be me. They’ve made a professional stuffed animal. It’s big and it’s me. Like… It’s me. I: Are you for real? T: Yes. I: You’ve received your own action figure in a way. T: Yes. I: Just that it’s a stuffed animal. T: It’s a big stuffed animal. I: That’s wild Tarjei. T: It’s too accurate. It’s Isak but it’s got the correct snapback tag on it. It’s wild. I: Who made it? T: It was from China Kosegruppe. I: Where do you put.. Is your house filled with figurines of youself? T: I just push them down into a box and try not to think too much about it. I: Why not? T: Because then you become self-obsessed. I: Okay. Before the summer you said on Skavlan that you think it’s awkward to talk to your parents about your character in Skam, about the Skam phenomena. What’s that been like after a fall where the whole world took the Isak figure into their heart? T: I gave up a bit. I talked to them about it now. I: It’s going well at home? T: Yes. They tell me “Tarjei you’re doing a good job”. I: Would’ve been weird if they said anything else. T: They tell me if I get a 3 in maths “It’s good that you’re not failing. You’re were good in that TV show Tarjei.” I: You’re playing in Grease this fall. T: Grease. I: On with the leather jacket and slick. From Skam-Isak to Grease. That’s quite a change. What will that be like? T: It’s still high school and… I: Those summer nights. You’ve seen the original? T: Of course. It’s a beautiful movie. I: What’s your relationship with the Grease universe? T: I think that universe is weird. People are weird, but it’s a musical. Teenager musicals are especially.. There are stereotypes. It’s a lot of fun. I: Are you going to be a cool car mechanic guy? T: No, I’m not. I’m one of the dorky guys in the group. I: I see. We’re going to test if you’re good at singing. You’re in high school Tarjei. You’re going through our school diary. Song starts playing I: We’re visited by Tarjei Sandvik Moe, also known as Isak from Skam. That adventure is over soon. Will that be weird? T: Yes. It’ll be weird. I: You’re moving on to playing in Grease. T: Yes, exactly. I: Still working, and in school, last year at high school. That will be awesome. Right now you’re going to fill out a page in our school diary. Yes. Age? You’re 18. We’ve already established that. T: Yes. I: Now on to the important questions. Favourite food? Don’t freak out. T: Balkan kebab. I: Balkan kebab. I’ll write that down. T: Pilestredet. I: What do you order? T: I order a kebab roll with extra sauce. I: Extra sauce? T: Extra sauce. I: Hotness level? T: Medium. I: Always medium. T: It’s a safe westside order. I: What’s your favourite subject in school? Because you’re still in school? T: Yes, I do drama so I’ll go with theatre. I: Yes. Theatre. What was it like with your character this Christmas. People came from China to say hi all the time. Did you get straight A’s in drama? T: I was on a 5, so I had to struggle my way up. I: So you’re not good enough Tarjei. That Skam stuff isn’t that good. T: My teacher doesn’t watch Skam. I: Of course not. T: What counts is your effort and if you can make theatre plays. I: If you had to choose between the general subjects? T: Norwegian. I: Okay. What’s your favourite TV show? T: Fargo on HBO. I: What do you enjoy about it? T: It’s a fascinating universe where everything works together. The characters are really interesting and you want to keep watching like all the time without an extremely structured Hollywood dramaturgy. I: They trick you with cliff hangers, but you still want to keep watching right? T: Correct. I: Sounds nice. Favourite type of music? T: Favourite music? I’m a huge deLillos fan. deLillos is my band. I: So nice/cozy. T: Latest music… I think Sigrid is awesome. I: Sigrid is awesome. T: That voice is like “what?!” I: Have you watched her live? T: No I haven’t. I just turned 18, there’s like 18 years old age restrictions. I hope she comes to Oslo. I: She’s coming to Øyafestivalen. T: She’s going there? I: Yes. T: I have to get a hold of a Øya-ticket. I: Good luck, I think it’s sold out. Not the one day tickets, just the week tickets. T: Then I’ll have to get a one day ticket. I: Go on. Then you’ll get to hear Sigrid. That’s good. Who’s your greatest idol? T: My greatest idol? Daniel Braaten. I: A football player? Why? T: I love the way he plays football. I: How is it? T: He seems like a laid-back guy who just enjoys playing football and doesn’t care about what the coach’s saying. And he’s really good. And he’s originally a Skeid-boy. I love Skeid, they make a of talents. Daniel Braaten is my idol. I: Were you a football talent once? T: I wouldn’t say talent, but I’m a previous Lyn player. I: That’s good. Let’s go straight to “this is the celebrity I’d want to hook up with”. T: Uhm… I: We ask this question to everyone. T: I’d have to say Sigrid then since she’s so good at singing. I: Yes. And that’s an answer that is realistic as well. Age-wise and location in Norway. Tarjei, hold tight. You will be song interviewed my Markus Neby soon. T: Woah. I: What’s your thoughts on that? T: Uhm, a bit excited. I: That’s how it should be. Song starts playing and the news I: We’re visited by Tarjei Sandvik Moe. He has charmed the whole world as Isak in Skam. Markus Neby is in the studio. He’s going to interview Tarjei by using music. Markus: Tarjei Sandvik Moe, you’re at an age where women are important, how’s it going now? T: I’m very very fine. M: How many are we talking? Do you have a girlfriend? T: No I don’t. M: How many women do you hook up with weekly? T: At least 5. M: Nice, nice, nice. You went on Jodel, to say that you’re single. T: That’s very embarrassing. I’m not proud of that. M: But it happened anyways. What are you looking for in a woman? T: That she’s kind to me. M: How do you want her to treat you as a good boy? What’s the nicest thing a woman can do to you? T: Give me coffee and tell me I’m pretty. M: Give you coffee and say that you’re pretty. How’s puberty going? T: I think I’m soon finished with that. M: The penis isn’t fully grown until you’re 20. T: Exciting. M: Nice to know. Nice to know if you have bad self-esteem. How’s your self-esteem? T: I try to keep it down. M: You try to keep it down. Isn’t it difficult? T: Yes it’s really difficult. I’d wish it was lower. M: You’re a cutiepie. You manage to be a humble humble cutiepie. What do girls think is your best trait? The ones that know you? T: They tell me that my hair is nice. M: Nice nice curls. Do they call you curly Tarjei? Do they call you that? T: No, but I’d wish that. M: You’d wish that. T&M: I’d wish that. M: I’d wish that. Call him curly Tarjei. T: Curly Tarjei. M: Curly Tarjei. (repeats) M: What do they call you? T: They call me Tarjei. M: Just Tarjei. T: Or TJ-Moe. M: TJ-Moe. Do people call you TJ-Moe? T: There are some people that call me that. Mostly because I tell them to do it. M: Call me TJ-Moe. I’m called curly Tarjei. I’m called TJ-Moe. T&M: Call me TJ-Moe. Call me curly Tarjei. (repeats). M: Good luck with that. I hope people will answer. Now we’ve gotten to know you better. This was nice. T: It was a bit scary, but it went alright. M: You were good curly Tarjei. Very good, curly Tarjei. T: Thank you, curly Markus. M: I’ve got really straight hair. T: I know. We should try to make some curls in it. M: Perhaps in the future. Thanks for now. Good luck with Grease. You’ve always been a naughty boy. A naughty naughty naughty boy. Let’s stop there. T: I didn’t hear the end. M: You didn’t hear the end? T: I didn’t hear the synth. Nothing. M: The monitors are a bit difficult here in the studio. I: This was beautiful nonetheless. And a very current genre. M: I agree. I: Calm R&B scenery. M: I suggest this could be the pause act in Grease. I: Great idea. M: Tarjei’s new nickname. I: People are gonna call you curly Tarjei from now on. Thank you for coming. Good luck with the final stage of Skam. Good luck with Grease. And not least, good luck with the russ celebration in your last year at high school. T: Thank you.

#skam cast #tarjei sandvik moe #interview #translated #srs

[hoopyfrood]

Fry writes an anonymous newspaper comic series about this human from 1999 who wakes up 1000 years in the future, gets a job at his nephews delivery company, and while struggling to adjust to this new life, finds himself falling in love with a robot friend he made along the way. His work gets heralded for its authenticity and honest presentation. It becomes an iconic forward step in the normalizing of human/robot relationships in Earth's phobic society, and the mystery surrounding its (1/2)

(2/2) creator only enhances its positive impact. Of course there are the people who dislike the strip once it comes to mainstream light (since newspapers are such a rare medium in the 31st century it was only by word of mouth that it grew popular, and also the only reason it was ever originally published), but there always are. Years on in Fry’s life, when he and Bender actually are together and later get married, he publishes a compilation of all the strips and reveals himself as the creator.

tee……. oh my god this is a perfect idea though i’m in tears !!

i rambled on below about this because it’s such a sweet and perfect idea bless u ilu

fry working so hard on his art and comics and seeing there’s a space in a local newspaper for a comic series and he’s like yeah!! i bet i can do this!!

and then his head is full of thoughts of what it’ll be about and maybe he should tell bender because he’s actually always supported his comics….. 

and then he looks up from the newspaper to see bender inspecting something in the fridge, and bender looks over and comments on how fry is such an old man reading the newspaper, and fry smiles and knows exactly what to make his comics about 

and he gets excited and nervous and excitedly nervous about his comics being printed and he decided to keep it his secret and wonders if his friends will pick up on who the comics are by…. but only hermes reads the printed paper and sticks to the advice and stock sections, and the others only read the first couple pages of the online version 

(and, even though fry hasn’t really tried to disguise the identities of the comic characters well, his style is simplistic, and he’s changed the names and hair colours and he did give leela’s character two eyes, so he can see why they wouldn’t recognise the stories in the comics even if they did read them)

but then they (ironically) read the articles in the paper about the comics that are in the very same paper, talking about it being a clever idea and a funny yet interesting look into two words colliding, and they start actually checking out the comics page

fry finds it helpful for making a note of fond memories or important thoughts or discoveries he had, and it’s a place for him to explore his feelings for his best friend, and he gets to live out his fantasies by having the main character and his robot best friend get together and live as a couple and giving it a good ending because the fans deserve it and he hopes maybe he does too

and he hasn’t any of the 31st centuries stereotypes or thoughts of robots, he sees them as equal and interesting and complex and especially sees the friendship of a robot as so important, and these open minded views are supported by a lot of pro robot and pro robosexuality groups and fry is so surprised but he’s like ‘wow, hey, i just wanted to publish my drawings and now they’re out there doing good things!’

leela probably picks up on it being fry, even though she’s sure he would’ve said something…. and she’s surprised by how good the drawing quality is…. so she keeps quiet but reads in surprise as she sees the main character talking about his love for his robot best friend

and after a while she just Has to say something because it’s so hard staying quiet when amy, bender and the professor muse on who the creator is and what they’re like and fry wants her to keep it secret as it got more personal than he intended and he’s kinda worried about bender’s reaction now

so leela doesn’t tell the others (although zoidberg has been reading the papers thrown into his dumpster for years and has followed the whole comic and would recognise fry’s style anywhere) and she helps him plan out future comic strips and zoidberg joins them to talk about the impact of the story and how they’re glad fry did this

and fry has never been one searching for lots of fame and glory, so he’s happy having the support of his friends and the knowledge he’s made a difference as he sees people talking about their love for the creator and awarding medals in their honour, it’s cool knowing people want to thank him so much for just being himself 

and then years pass, bender realises fry’s feelings, fry realises bender has felt the same for a long time too, not much changes as they’ve been a married couple living together basically since the day they moved in together anyway, but things are so good and they can get married and there’s so many more robosexual couples around, including gay ones 

and fry sees one of his old comics published for an anniversary of its creation in the paper (which he has even more right to read now that he’s more of an older guy) and laughs to himself and cuts it out and sticks it on the fridge 

and it doesn’t take bender long to be intruiged by this new thing on the fridge and he’s like ‘ohh, i remember everyone talking about these, hey, it reminds me of us, haha, these weren’t so bad, for art’ and fry is like ‘i thought i told you i made those’ and bender gasps and demands to know everything

and it’s totally benders idea to reprint the comics and make them into a book maybe, and they could add in the story of their lives to match and what happened with them, and he’s so enthusiastic about frys work and fry loves it

but he’s like ‘why are you so dedicated to doing this?’ and bender gives him a look as though it’s obvious and is like ‘everyone should know it was my husband who created these and changed the world and is the best person in the universe, duh’

and so finally the creator of the comics is revealed and leela calls him to say she’s proud and always loved how things went just as he’d hoped, and amy smacks him in the arm next time he sees her and is like ‘all this time you never told me it was you! i can’t believe you fry!’ and zoidberg gets a free copy of the new book and is delighted 

but the thing that makes fry happiest of all is that bender has only once mentioned the money they might make from the comic collection, instead all he talks about is fry getting the recognition and support he deserves, and fry needing to be investigated for psychic powers as he predicted them getting married and everything, and how he’s really proud and wants more comics just for him of them doing stuff together

and fry feels like the luckiest person in the universe because doing those comics helped him realise his love for bender and express it through his art and now he can do that every day to his face because he got the happy ending he hoped for 

#whenever anyone suspects i'm done w my long ass frender posts i return with a vengeance kmao #thanku so much for this tho i love this idea as u can see hehe #frender #futurama #my writing #dodrio #ask