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sergeant-angels-trashcan · 3 years

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hawkeye squared for the otp meme please? 🥺

as usual, i feel i need to suggest the idea of Lin Manuel Miranda as Clint, though I just saw a gifset of Manny Jacinto, and he is ALSO a great option

What was their first impression of each other?

“WHO THE FUCK ARE YOU?”“

As awful as it is, I LOVE them having their meet ugly when Clint thinks it’s a gangbusters idea to attack a teenager on a date in a carriage in central park. like. what a dumbass. also, both of them being all “I’m Hawkeye!” “no you’re not, I’m Hawkeye!”

What is their ship name?

Hawkeye Squared. It’s just cute. At some point they get asked (by a drunk Tommy, probably) what the square root of Hawkeye is, if it can be squared. Obviously, the square root of Hawkeye is Lucky the Pizza Dog

Describe their relationship dynamic.

two wrongs don’t make a right, but two competent individuals make a team of idiots.

I don’t know--they’re just so human with each other. They run with superpowered super special people, and that affects how they see themselves. I think they forget how breakable they are, and at the same time they’re really aware that they’re normal. (and maybe, they’d never admit it, feeling inadequate sometimes). With each other they get to be human, and they get the ordinary human stuff they have to deal with.

They’re really competitive, but in a fun way. Their underlying competitiveness also makes them strive to be better.

In some ways, their relationship is a meeting in the middle--Clint coming up, Kate coming down. Clint wants to be more together, less reckless, less one night stand with mob molls. Kate wants to be less...rich bitch. More aware of how money has made her life easier, how her life experiences aren’t typical.

They each want to be more stable for the other, they just want to be there for each other. They’re both messes, but it’s better when they are messes together.

What was their relationship like before they got together?

Manatee and mento.

No no just kidding. Most of their friends and Avengers coworkers think they had a mentor/mentee relationship, but the only think Clint has mentored Kate in is how to get horribly injured.

That’s one of my favorite things about their relationship. Kate was Hawkeye completely independent of Clint. She was a team leader, she had her shit TOGETHER, but the instant she hung out with Clint for any length of time she transforms into a garbage can person.

Their relationship trajectory is definitely idiots to friends to lovers. Their relationship status has been “in cahoots with” for almost as long as they’ve known each other. They’re just....their relationship is like Shane Madej and Ryan Bergara’s. Like, that’s not the dynamic, but it’s the feeling, you know?

They joke about being in love with/married/non-sexual life partners forEVER before one day it’s like “ha ha oh SHIT am I joking??”

How would they describe each other?

they each think the other is one of the best people they know. And that being together makes them want to be better.

if Kate isn’t listening, Clint will absolutely admit she’s the better shot. NOT BY MUCH, but if he HAD to say, that would be his answer. She’s a total badass. He’s John Mulaney’s every monologue about Anna. “My partner is a bitch and i like her SO MUCH” “she does not give a shit what anyone thinks of her” “i’ve never been supervised before” “she’s my HERO”. Seven drink Clint will just talk about everything about Kate that he likes. Many, many Avengers can attest that this is a very long list.

If Clint isn’t listening, Kate will say that Clint is one of the best men she’s ever met, and he looks BANGING in a skirt. He wants so much to do the right thing and even if he gets it wrong he just keeps trying and how can you not be inspired by that? He inspired her to be better and kinder and try harder, and keep trying, keep fighting. There’s always someone to help. Being a hero isn’t just about stopping dictators bent on world domination or fighting aliens. It’s not always about the world. Sometimes it’s about your neighborhood, or your building. Sometimes it’s just saving a dog. Clint’s always reminding her that being a hero isn’t about the size of the heroing. It’s just about doing the right thing.

What do they love about each other?

everything they tell people about each other, lol.

They love that they’re both superheroes, that they’re both Hawkeye. That they keep trying and keep trying.

What do they have in common?

Coffee, dogs, cars, purple, arrows

What are some differences between them?

I feel like they both have weird ideas of what’s normal as far as childhood experiences, but while Kate’s tend towards “what do you mean you didn’t have a nanny and a fencing instructor and a music tutor” and Clint’s are more along the lines of “eat all the food because you don’t know where your next meal might come from”

Kate also takes better care of cars than Clint does. She’s also a better chameleon than Clint--she can blend into different scenarios better than he does. It helps that Kate likes doing it more than Clint does.

What made them realize they were in love?

A million little things that added up to mean “I can’t imagine my life without you”. But probably when Kate bounced to LA after their Big Fight and they realized they did Not like being apart from each other. They didn’t call or text during that time and it was MISERABLE. They’re slightly codependent. They know it. It’s fine.

What are their love languages?

they’re actually really big on words of affirmation (i have to look up love languages every time i get to this question so i give actual love languages answers) it’s never big flowing speeches but they’re always telling each other “good shot” “good coffee” “you’re amazing hawkeye” “i know hawkeye” and physical affection of course. They’re very big on consent in all situations so Clint has taken to signing stuff like “wanna cuddle” “hey can i hold your hand” etc etc (steve and bucky see them do this and pick up the habit). physical affection also includes patching each other up when it’s not a hospital worthy injury

Do they get married? Who proposes and how?

eventually and on accident

they’re partners for YEARS and everyone thinks they’re banging, and then when they finally DO start banging nobody thinks they are. so they’re in this weird limbo of being in a healthy committed relationship that none of their peers know about despite seeing it all the time.

so they accidentally get married for a job, or one of them is like “Fuck! i field our taxes jointly this year, we gotta get married!” (i have no idea how this mistake happened. Is Jarvis in cahoots with Jonas and Viv to set them up? Probably)

You know how Winona Ryder and Keanu Reeves were like “wait, did we get for real married on the set of Dracula years ago?” like that vibe is also good. That Clint and Kate TECHNICALLY got married when she was like. twenty for undercover reasons. And never realized it. so they’re going to file paperwork and some poor wage drone is like “uh, we already have paperwork filed on a ms. bishop...AND a mr. barton” *frantic clicking* “uh, it looks like you’re already married???”

they have a fake fight over missing anniversaries. every single one of their friends has a moment of “why did hawkeyes happen to me”

they have a wedding that’s mostly just a huge party. Kate gets kidnapped by von Doom (he promised he would! they have a weird friendship) Billy and Steve fight over who is going to officiate. somehow eli wins. all of clint’s exes dance with kate. all of kate’s exes dance with clint. wade declares himself both groomsman and bridesmaid, staving off the inevitable fight of who “got” Wade (that Kate would have won, no sense in hurting Clint’s feelings, that’s Wade’s opinion)

the proposal happens after the wedding. they want to get the most bang for their buck, and they’re both petty little shits, so Kate “surprises” Clint with a proposal at some big snooty gala Derek Bishop is hosting. during the gala and the flood of paparazzi, they “accidentally” “escape” for a makeout sesh and “inadvertently” lead the press to evidence of Derek’s criminal activities. they get engaged and he gets arrested in the same night. it’s a very productive proposal.

What would happen if they never met?

not an option. they always meet. even if a universe is missing one of them, the multiverse will find a way to make them meet, even for a short time. they represent something greater-than-self for each other, and they both need that. it’s easy for them to get tangled up in their depression, their ptsd, their mental health issues and feelings of inadequacy, but --

it’s like. “i’m not alone” there’s someone else out there. and some days it’s like, you know what, I bet he/she is fucking up my good name. I have to get up and do something. some days it’s like there’s someone else out there with my name. it’s okay for me to take a break and breathe. everything is going to be ok.

Who dies first? How does the other one react?

Kate, by thirty seconds TOPS. they die saving the universe, of course, and specifically an angry mama cat

they die sprawling next to each other, bleeding out, Clint internally, Kate externally. her blood haloes around her head and she’s talking to Clint, voice weak and it’s a miracle his hearing aids are still working, because as much as he doesn’t want to hear this he doesn’t want Kate to feel alone, and she’s saying how she’s scared and she can’t feel her legs and she flails an arm at him and he catches her hand, pressing kisses to her bloody knuckles

and then Kate stops talking, he can’t hear her breathing and she’s still, so still, and he drags himself closer to her carving in to what little time he has left on this earth and he doesn’t care, kisses her still-warm face, gently closes her glassy eyes. sobbing, he pulls her to him. “I’m right behind you, girly-girl.”

Are there any love rivals?

yes and no? I think Clint would consider Kate’s team as a whole a threat to his monopoly on Kate’s affections. But I also don’t see them being very monogamous all the time. I think they’d very easily and happily expand to a polyamorous relationship. they’re both such nerds about it, too. like, they KNOW the other is awesome, naturally everyone wants part of that awesomeness, and they deserve to have people in their lives who think they are awesome.

they are also weirdly possessive in a lot of ways. at least, Kate is. Clint likes people claiming ownership of him, of belonging. Clint can belong to other people, but Hawkeye is hers. Because hawkeye is her, and hers, and it’s a tangled mess of ownership and pronouns but they get it, and everyone else leaves the weird Hawkeye stuff alone for the most part.

Describe your favorite moment of that ship!

moments of realization. when they realize they’ve been platonically married for YEARS and maybe they want to be....carnally married as well??? and then just. UST for MILES. Staring. looking away. staring again. getting caught staring! oh no! the terrible, horrible, gut churning moment of being found out, of “this won’t hurt our friendship or our working relationship, i swear, do you want me to leave?” followed by the other party suddenly barreling into them, initiating a frantic makeout and grinding sesh, the RAGE that they could have been doing this for how long???

What do other characters think about this relationship?

“so are you guys together for real now, or what?” and “lmao no you’re not fooling me again! nice try though.”

there are so many people who don’t believe they’re a for real couple. and to be fair, there was that once time they pretended to be a couple and did a registry and everything. i’ve said it before, though, that someone could walk in on Kate and Clint banging and just be like “huh. weird Hawkeye thing” and never once think “oh my god clint and kate are an item”

Kate could literally be pregnant with Clint’s baby, they could be buying a house together, they could be on the Newlywed show, and most of their friends and teammates will be all “psh, codependent much? you gonna paint the outside of the house purple or what?”

Describe or write a really fluffy scene!

honestly anything goopily domestic. the sigh of relief when they both drop their go-bags in the entry way and realize they’re home. slow dancing in the living room. Kate telling Clint to start a load of laundry, only he pretends he can’t see her signing, so she throws an orange at him. Clint’s being honored at some pompous thing he hates or Stark has him on stage for some Avengery thing and Kate signs obscene or funny things to him and he has to keep a straight face.

Describe or write a really angsty scene!

all about the hurt/comfort here

so this is a post-Battleworld kind of thing. Everyone’s been flung to different universes and 616 doesn’t exist anymore and nobody knows if their friends are dead, if they’re ever going to see them again.

And Clint spots Kate (she’s bossing people around because she’s good at it, in every universe, he notes) but he’s not getting his hopes up. he’s seen a lot of Kates, and they’re all good, they’re all great, but they’re not his Katie-Kate, It’s not fair to compare every Kate in the multiverse to one single solitary Kate that he happens to like more than anything else, but screw fair, right?

Kate spots him. And she doesn’t really react, and Clint’s bracing himself to deal with Kate but not quite Kate, and they’re both making painfully polite small talk and he eventually says something about coming from 616 and it’s instantaneous, the change in her. “What the fuck did you just say, Clint? Clinton Francis Barton I swear to god if this is a joke--”

and it’s the Correct Kate, everything is good, great, wonderful, and then they get arrested for public indecency.

Talk about a headcanon you’ve never talked about before.

I don’t have a lot of headcanons for them, tbh? their braincells are repellent to one another. put them together and they’re just idiots trying to make their way in the universe.

oh! individually, they are so unlucky, but put them together and it kind of cancels out? their together jobs have the best outcomes. and their together jobs are how they acquire all sorts of random stuff. like an apartment building, a yacht, a Mars rover prototype, a child, a few extra spouses...

What does a typical date look like for them?

pizza, coffee, petting their dog and strangers’ dogs. takeout, stopping an armed robbery, cleaning up injuries, snuggling on the couch with popcorn or shave ice. they’re also working on a duo acrobatic routine in their spare time.

What’s a really significant moment in their relationship?

when Kate comes back. she leaves and it sucks, but she comes back and they don’t know where this is going, but they know their partnership is vital, and they’re going to make it work

(also when Clint let Kate drive the skycycle)

#clintkate #hawkeye squared #kate bishop #hawkeye #clint barton #ask meme answers #my stuff #Anonymous #NO ONE is drift compatible liek the hawkeyes

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nosferatvpussy · 4 years

Text

distorted lullabies [chapter XI]

Word count: 5,131

Warnings: vulgar language

Pairing: Dracula x female reader

AO3 link

Author’s note: My beta reader gave me a few suggestions and it's truly something that's been bugging me, so I decided it would be better to check with you guys, my readers. I'm writing this story purely for fun so I don't mind changing things. I'm not well versed in writing Character x reader stories and I'll admit the whole concept sometimes escapes me (ahem, fully does) and my beta pointed out that it's become an OC x Dracula fic. This chapter in particular touches into something that may upset some people if they're really invested into the reader POV, which is religion. You may not agree with the reader's thoughts regarding christianity, and I don't want to needle anyone's beliefs because this is a reader insert. My question is: would you guys prefer if I gave the reader a name, in which case she becomes a fully realised character? I'll still avoid describing her because then you can picture her however you like. Longwinded question, I know, but I thought it deserved some explanation. On a more positive note, I made two spotify playlists; one is oriented towards alternative songs (mostly) and the other one is purely made up of classical pieces.

Regardless, ENJOYYY

________________________________________________________

The rest of the trip would have been completely silent if it wasn’t for Portishead’s music.

I barely looked at Dracula as he dropped me off at the Airbnb I had rented. He parted with a promise to meet me at the wedding tomorrow and an indifferent goodbye, although when I made it all the way to the flat’s second floor, his car was still parked at the front door. When I turned around to throw my backpack on the bed and looked out the window again, the black BMW was gone.

Not even the wide array of DVD stacks inside the Airbnb managed to keep my mind off of Dracula.

After settling in and having a shower, I occupied myself with sitting in front of the TV in the living room and analysing the owner’s collection – an impressive one at that – however, when I picked up a copy of The Rocky Horror Picture Show I could almost hear Count Dracula laughing as I sang along to Frank N Furter and immediately put the disc back to where it belonged. So I chose something harmless to watch.

As Mulder and Scully bickered about aliens on the television in another episode of The X-Files – really, props to the Airbnb owner for supplying his entire collection to guests – I glanced at my phone for the hundredth time.

Would Count Dracula be a Scully or a Mulder? Such a silly thing to wonder about, nevertheless I was curious about it. Perhaps if he was here with me, watching TV and making his remarks about what was going on, I would manage to concentrate on the episode playing.

It had worked out fine last time. Well, for the most part. As long as we didn’t watch anything with sexual undertones such as Interview with the Vampire, I would be fine. For how long, was the question.

I frowned as I rewinded the last 10 minutes on the DVD player. Scully was lying in a hospital bed while Mulder screamed at a doctor when just two minutes ago Mulder had been talking to their boss. Obviously, I had missed more than two minutes, too stuck in my thoughts about the Count.

I glanced at my phone again.

He’d be gone tomorrow. And I needed to know if he would like Scully or Mulder better.

I took my phone between shaky fingers.

A small part of me, one that was still thinking straight, suggested that maybe I shouldn’t do this on account of that kiss earlier. But nothing of what had happened during that trip mattered anymore, not when I would never see him again. Whatever I did today would have no consequences.

Are you there?

Count Dracula replied just as Mulder screamed at the doctor, and I still had no idea why.

Yes.

I typed a message as quickly as I could before I regretted this.

I can’t sleep.

I chewed on my lip as I waited for a response but when none came, I started typing another text and then erased it. Inviting him over might develop into less innocent things than simply watching TV.

I curled my toes. I came this far. I resisted him this long. There was no reason to jump ship at the last second.

Tomorrow he’d be carted away by the Foundation and while I would very much like to do more than kiss Count Dracula, the idea of giving myself to him and then never feeling his touch again seemed unbearable.

Do you want to take a stroll through Gloucester?

I’ll be there in a few minutes.

His reply came so quick that he must have been staring at his phone, waiting for me to send another text.

I rushed to change from pyjamas into jeans, jacket and boots. I had just finished fixing up how I looked when my phone buzzed. Without bothering to read the text, I left the flat, heart beating like a hummingbird’s as I went down the stairs to the building’s front door.

Count Dracula wore the same leather jacket as earlier, waiting for me just as he had waited hours ago in London.

“Did you walk all the way here?” I asked as soon as I noticed the BMW’s absence.

“I was in the neighbourhood.” He smiled.

“Exploring?”

He smirked but said nothing.

“Eating, then,” I concluded. “Drinking, sorry. I forgot you get stuck in the technicalities.”

“You get used to it,” he said, extending a hand for me.

I gasped when I placed my hand on his. Someone else’s blood had made his temperature rise from cadaveric cold to match my own but I was too fascinated by how plump his flesh felt to care about an unknown person’s death.

“You don’t feel like a statue,” I said, squeezing his hand to make sure I wasn’t imagining things.

“You get used to it,” he repeated. “Come. I found a lovely place to break into.”

He pulled me to him so fast that my stomach lurched. I almost lost balance but he wrapped an arm around my shoulders to steady me.

“May I remind you that I’m human and next time you do this I might throw up in your shoes?”

My vision was still swimming and I had to lean my body on his until I could see properly.

“I’ll warn you next time.”

I craned my neck to look up at him, noticing absently that I had my arms around him in a hug. Light coming from a neighbouring house glowed behind his head likening a saint’s halo. Horns would be more suitable, and more alluring.

“Will I like this place you intend to take me?”

“More than I will,” he said, securing me in an inescapable hold, one I had no desire to fight. “It’s a cathedral.”

“Gloucester Cathedral?” I loosened my arms around him. “It’s a holy place,” I said and he cocked an eyebrow. “Can you even set foot in there?”

He snorted.

“I can waltz with you in there while reciting biblical verses as long as I don’t look upon the cross.”

“I’d like to see that. A healthy dose of blasphemy is always fun.”

A slow smile spread on his lips.

“Then you’ll love it.”

To my dismay, he untangled himself from me but still kept an arm around my shoulders in a half embrace. Instead of avoiding him, I circled his waist with my arm, basking on how uncharacteristically warm he felt in comparison to the chilly night.

Dracula looked at me with furrowed eyebrows, though a grin creeped on his mouth. For the first time, we had exchanged roles – he, doubtful that I was so willing to touch him, and I, sure of what I was doing ever since I struck that deal.

Pity it wouldn’t last long.

“Lead the way,” I told him.

_______________________________________________________

Except for a couple of stray cats and a dog, Count Dracula and I were the only ones wandering through Gloucester’s narrow streets and quaint façades. The moon was hidden but with how bright it glowed, even beneath a swath of cotton clouds, I would guess it was full.

I relied more on Count Dracula’s eyes than on the unsteady old street lights that seemed to hail from the 18th century, but I didn’t need his vampire eyes to catch a glimpse of a towering Gothic building, concealed behind a row of modern restaurants and stores, all closed now that it was closer to dawn than to dusk, wedged inside small houses stylised in Tudor architecture.

“Here we are,” said Dracula just as we rounded the corner and faced Gloucester Cathedral.

It was an enormous and monstrous thing yet beautiful all the same in all its complicated detail of spiking roofs and pointed narrow glass that composed huge windows amongst blocks of stone. Sculptures of saints and kings stood watch at the front, arching above the intricately woven entrance.

“Is there an alarm this time?” I asked as we approached the door.

“What for? Christians trust their god to keep it safe. There is someone sleeping inside, though. A priest if I had to guess, so we’ll have to be very quiet.”

“There goes my plan,” I said, although I had none. No space for calculated words and carefully measured tone there. All I had left was impulsivity, and saying things without really meaning them provided me with a rush unlike any other.

“What plan is that?” Dracula questioned, side-eyeing me.

I shrugged.

“What does it matter if I can’t be noisy now?” I snickered. I would have tried being reckless more often if I’d known I would earn so many bewildered looks from Count Dracula. “Open the door.” I bidded, staring at him. “Please?”

Something crossed his gaze, something that made me wish that he would press me against a wall and demand that I tell him about my sordid plan. But he did no such thing.

“Since you asked nicely,” he said, just as he had done earlier during our trip.

Dracula forced the door open with the same ease I would have opened an unlocked door.

My mouth was a little dry but the thrill of doing something forbidden still made my heart thud, despite the fear of being caught. Perhaps I’d been developing a new habit of doing dangerous things such as making deals with vampires, and getting excited at the prospect of desecrating a church with one. I would have to find a substitute to that after he was gone but I couldn’t think of anything that could compare.

I followed Count Dracula into the cathedral’s nave.

The massive round pillars surrounding the aisle took away some of the simplicity of the ribbed vaulting, which derived from early Gothic architecture if I remembered my art classes correctly. There weren’t any pews positioned in usual rows as most churches did, and from where I stood I couldn’t spot an altar. The place seemed bare without them but it was still imposing, as most religious things were, I supposed.

The ground's yellowed stone, that one day may have been white, was dappled with a luminescence of blue, red and purple. I whirled around, looking up to find out where that variety of colours came from, and grinned upon finding a stained glass window that extended all the way up to the ceiling.

“I never liked churches as a child,” I whispered to Dracula, ignoring that he probably knew it. “They creeped me out. I couldn’t understand how some people felt love inside them, when all I felt was judgement. And like I was being watched by saints, angels and Jesus.” I grimaced as I admired the pictures on the glass. Saints looked back at me with their saintly stare. Jesus Christ was pictured at the centre pane. “My parents weren’t very religious but my grandmother was one of those fervent catholics, full of guilt and fear. She used to take me to mass every other Sunday at Westminster Abbey until one time when I started arguing with the priest during his sermon about how illogical the bible is at some points.” I glanced at Dracula and saw him chuckling soundlessly. “I was 13. My grandmother was so humiliated and angry at me that she never took me to mass again.”

“And you were relieved to never have to go back again,” Dracula supplied. “How do you like churches now?”

“I like them as long as I’m just visiting. And I’m not scared of them anymore, not since I won that argument with the priest.” I looked at him. He was making a point of observing the rest of the church instead of gazing at the stained glass as I was. “You were raised christian, too. And if Wikipedia is right, you fought in the name of God.”

“In another life.” He bobbed his head, lacing his hands behind his back as he wandered down the aisle. “Not the foolish, gullible and fearful catholic as Justina was.” Dracula cast a brief glance at me. “My late wife.” He explained but I had already surmised as much.

Since he had mentioned her without my needing to ask, I felt the urge to goad him with more questions. The urge to see that odd semblance of grief in his face as I had seen weeks ago. The reminder that he was capable of emotion, still. But I left it alone. It was possible he would shut down and assume that distant and impenetrable façade, and then our last date would be over much faster than I was ready for it to be.

“No, you were more the type to rip people to shreds when they didn’t condone your faith.” I lowered my voice mid sentence when my words echoed.

Following him down the aisle, I noticed that a big apparatus was raised up in a wooden structure ahead of us and it looked like an organ. Had we been alone at the church, I would have climbed up the stairs to knead a few keys just to hear the resounding, spine-chilling noise it would make.

“Precisely.” Dracula laughed.

“Did you ever do it for fun?”

“What do you think?”

“I think you did.”

He turned around, stopping at the centre of the aisle a few metres away from me.

“For fun, for boredom, but most of all to instill fear into my enemies’ hearts. Does it still bother you?”

I stopped.

It had when I first found out about it. And although he had just admitted torturing people simply for the fun of it, it didn’t bother me nearly as much as before. I ought to have been disgusted or disapproving, at the very least. It was a little worrying that I didn’t feel any of those things, like I had just discovered a part of me that was capable of terrible cruelty.

“No,” I said. “Not anymore.”

Dracula’s grin was all teeth as if that answer was everything he had been longing to hear.

“You’re not nervous tonight.” He was still grinning. “You’re usually nervous around me.”

“Usually,” I agreed, smirking.

Was this how it felt? Not having to worry, not caring about what could happen, not being cautious about every little thing, not minding that he had done horrible deeds and I still wanted his lips on mine?

This foreign feeling swelled inside my chest and my smirk became a grin.

“Let’s see the rest of the place,” I said, beckoning him with my hand. “There is a door back there and I think I saw something interesting.”

I didn’t wait to see if he would follow and simply turned around, heading to my right where I had seen a long corridor dappled with more colourful light from stained glass. Through an arched portal, I could see the extent of the corridor but it still didn’t prepare me when I crossed the threshold.

What I thought was only one corridor, was actually two positioned in an L-shape and I stood at the cusp of both. Elaborate lines composed patterns on the vaulted ceiling and walls, fanning into long and curved designs etched in stone and ending in what resembled flowers. Light poured from a collection of stained glass windows and with the way each corridor bent at their ends, I supposed the structure continued until it formed a rectangular. I squinted past a clear glass on a windowpane, and smiled. I could make out shapes of trees and what looked to be a fountain outside. These weren’t corridors but covered walks surrounding a square. Westminster Abbey had something similar.

“Gorgeous,” whispered Dracula.

I turned around to see what he was admiring. His stare was fixed on me, and I had a feeling it had been the same way when he spoke. He moved towards me and the stained glass bathed his face in red. Dracula placed one of my hands on his shoulder and took the other one into his own, extending our joined hands up in a dancing stance.

“I’ll step on your feet,” I warned as he splayed a hand on my back. “I’m not a good dancer.”

“I’ll teach you. Waltzing is easy, and I told you we would waltz.”

In a hushed voice as to not wake whoever slept inside the cathedral, Count Dracula instructed me how, his knees touching mine ever so slightly to point me in the correct direction as I stared down at our feet rasping on the floor, his hands pushing and tugging gently as we swayed to silence.

After a little while, I felt confident enough not to step on his feet, although I had done it a few times during his lesson, and looked up at his face. We were both a mess of colours and blurry features clouded in darkness as we danced out and into the stained glass light. The air was so chilly that my lungs burned with the effort of dancing, his hand so unrealistically warm on mine as we danced pointlessly – it was surreal, and filled me with an unusual melancholy that I wouldn’t experience something like that again and happiness because I had let myself experience it.

“I dare not ask for love–” Dracula’s words cut through the silence and I drew a sharp intake of breath for what he was about to say. His next words were accompanied by the cadence people used to recite something, which removed some of the impact of what he had first said and I relaxed.

“ I dare not ask for love �� with all

My many sins, both great and small,

I am perhaps of love unworthy!

But if feigned love, if you would

Pretend, you’d easily deceive me,

For happily would I, believe me,

Deceive myself if but I could. ”

I held my breath halfway throughout but continued to dance. The mention of love completely escaped me when he spoke of deceit and I could not help but wonder if he suspected me of it. Did he know I was leading him on and did not care? Or did he know about me and Zoe and this was just a fancy way of telling me so? My heart raced. I hoped he took it not as panic but exhilaration instead.

“Is that in the bible?” I asked in a shaky voice.

“It’s Pushkin. I’ve been reading Russian literature again, old and new and it’s stuck in my head. Pushkin remains a favourite of mine and Anna Akhmatova is a close second from the new generation. Well, old generation, for you.” He chuckled. “The Pushkin stanza sounds better in Russian. Most things sound better in Russian,” he said in an even voice. I raised my eyebrows at him, and he recited the verses in Russian, and although I understood none of it, it did sound better. “This, however, is from the bible. I don’t remember from which book but I remember that I liked it when I was human. I’m translating directly from Latin, though, because that’s how I studied the bible, so I’m taking a few liberties here to make it sound better, and less ridiculously holy. It goes like this: Place me like a seal over your heart, like a seal on your arm; for love is as strong as death, its jealousy unyielding as the grave. It burns like blazing fire, like a mighty flame.”

“It could very well be Pushkin,” I offered.

“It could. Ironically, I prefer these verses more than Pushkin’s.” He laughed lightly and I fully relaxed. He sounded like himself, not at all as if he knew something he wasn’t supposed to.

I did wonder, though, why he chose those verses out of anything else to declaim. Pushkin was a hopeless romantic through and through from what I had read of him. Of Anna I knew little but what I did know spoke of bitterness, death and failed, tragic love. Why suddenly speak of love? He could’ve quoted something else from the bible. Perhaps something to do with Samson and Delilah, since we had joked about it in the past. Anything else would have made more sense, even the parts that made no sense at all and had driven me to argue with a priest years ago.

Was Count Dracula attempting to tell me something? No. Couldn’t be. He was as forward as one could be. And the idea of him feeling anything remotely close to love seemed a little silly.

He had loved Justina; more than he thought he was capable of, he’d said. But that had been centuries ago in another life.

For a moment my determination in being reckless faltered and I felt at loss for what to say.

Dracula let go of me briefly to spin me around in a move I wasn’t as deftly trained in as he was, causing me to squeal at the velocity and trip over my feet. I thought I would fall but he caught me and started moving again in the waltz pattern he had taught me. Laughter bubbled up to my throat in my hurry to catch up with him and the sound of it was amplified by the long walls. Dracula’s laughter joined mine until it became a song for which we danced.

It doesn’t matter, nothing matters. I thought as I gazed up at him. He’ll be gone and whatever I say doesn’t matter anymore. I can entertain even the wildest of things because they’ll never happen. Nothing will happen, for the rest of time.

“I’ve got one for you,” I breathed as we spun in a dizzying pace. “The Devil’s hands directs our every move; the things we loathed become the things we love.” It didn’t come out nearly as expertly as his declamation but I was out of breath, spinning and spinning as he commanded. Like a ballerina in a music box. Dracula simply stared at me, the corners of his lips in their own fight of tugging upwards or downwards. “It’s Baudelaire. Have you read it?” I wasn’t sure if I saw him shake his head. Suddenly, we were dancing so fast that I could barely see my surroundings, much less his face. “I know Baudelaire as you know the bible, only the parts that matter, but I know them from heart. There’s one phrase that I particularly relate to, especially now.” I gulped as if I was looking down a cliff. “What can an eternity –”

Dracula stopped abruptly and I gasped, strands of my hair landing on my face as my head reeled at suddenly being motionless. The world still whirled around and I swayed on my feet as if I had forgotten how to keep myself standing up still, but the Count’s grasp kept me in place.

Interrupting our dance, I realised not a second later, was for the best. I’d been about to quote something very dangerous, something that could land me with both feet on a grave for all eternity with Count Dracula. And I would’ve said it out of sheer wickedness, just because I was tempted about what could happen if I broke a few rules.

I looked up at his face, heart teetering on the verge of stopping in fear of what I would find in his expression. But Dracula wasn’t paying attention to me. His eyes were focusing past my head. And then I heard it. Footsteps.

Our laughter must have woken up whoever had been sleeping inside the cathedral.

“What -?” A male voice drifted from behind me, sounding panicked and angry. “You can’t be here at this hour!”

“Shit,” I whispered to Dracula. “What now?”

He gave me a lopsided grin.

“This is your warning,” he said, not bothering to lower his voice now that we had been caught. I had time to frown at his reply before both of Dracula’s arms pulled me into an embrace, my feet swinging beneath me. I emitted a sound of surprise but didn’t struggle. “Hold on and please try not to throw up on my shoes, they’re rather expensive.”

I had one valuable second to wrap my arms around his neck and bury my face in his chest before we moved faster than I thought was possible. My insides tossed inside of me, suddenly demanding for a way out of my body’s cage. I kept my eyes closed the entire time, too frightened of opening them. I had never gone on a roller coaster ride but I supposed the feeling was similar.

Gusts of wind assailed my hair and threatened to steal the breath out of my lungs. I was afraid the feeling would last forever until we finally stopped and I landed on safe ground.

“You can let go now, Y/N.”

“Can you give me a second?” I mumbled, eyes still shut. “I think my soul is still trying to find a way back into my body.”

Dracula’s laughter tickled my ear and I tightened my hold on him. He did, too, his fingers pressing gently on the flesh of my back. Slowly, as if in a limp, my senses caught up with me and my stomach settled on what felt like an appropriate position.

I opened my eyes tentatively and turned my head to the side. Startled, I realised he had brought me all the way from Gloucester Cathedral to the street where my Airbnb rental was located. And he’d done it in a span of two minutes, if not less.

I tipped my head to look at him, resting my cheek on the cold of his leather jacket. Dracula’s eyes were closed, sets of black eyelashes casting soft shadows on his face, and he was breathing steadily. Not because he needed to, I presumed, but because he was taking in my scent. My lips tugged up automatically; it was odd perceiving that as something sweet but I did.

His throat moved, drawing my attention. A most devilish thought occurred to me and before I gave myself too much time to dwell on it, I stretched up and nibbled at the skin of his neck. It lasted no more than five seconds but the sound that came out of Dracula would be seared into my memory forever. Raw, rapturous, and chilling at the same time. Satisfied, I let go of him, but he didn’t let go of me. Too fast for me to react, he took my hands and placed them where they had been, and then trapped me into his embrace again.

I had just blurred some very important lines with what I had just done, and yet part of me only cared about the thrill of it.

“Your scar has faded,” he said, and my heart hammered madly. A hand delved into my hair, grabbing a mass of it to expose my neck. “You didn’t really think you could get away with what you just did, did you?”

“Not really. But if you bite me without my consent, then the deal is off.”

“And I have no intention of breaking my word. Don’t think of this as reprisal. It’s more of a gift, such as you’ve just given me.”

Dracula bent his head slowly towards my bare neck, like he was giving me time to protest. I remained silent. It was imprudent, this need to know what he would do, but I wanted to garner every possibility of my time with him to cherish in my heart, forever. And the uncertainty of it made me all the more excited. I stared up at the sky and then his lips touched my throat where he had bitten me, softly, so very softly. And then again, not softly at all. Riveting pleasure sparked to life as if the scar was still fresh and I choked on my breath. Dull teeth nibbled the skin there and a flash of pulsating warmth coursed down my chest and back, spreading gradually in the same way spilled blood spread on the ground: trying to encompass everything in its wake, tainting it with inevitable appeal and fear of what it meant. I held on to Dracula forcefully, more forcefully than one would judge to be adequate, and he laughed against my skin before giving it a long lick.

“Careful,” he whispered in my ear. “I may interpret your willingness as consent. And I know you well enough to know you won’t give it to me easily. Will you?”

“No.” The word was automatic and I thanked the part of me that still harboured a sense of self-preservation above my heedless desire for him. However, I still leaned all of my weight on him and made no attempt to put distance between us, as I should’ve. “Not easily at all.”

Dracula, showing way more restraint than I had all night, disentangled my hair from his fingers and stepped back. It took everything in me not to launch myself into his arms again but I let my hands drop to my sides.

“You’re dangerous,” he accused.

“Not as much as you are.”

“A different kind of dangerous.” He licked his lips. Could he taste my skin in his mouth?

“I’ll take that as a compliment.”

“It is one.”

I smiled. Being called dangerous filled me with power. Power over him. I was delighted for only a second before wondering if he would think the same thing tomorrow when I stuck a needle with sickly blood in him.

“The cathedral was a good idea,” I said. “Defiling a church has always been in my to-do list, plus I learned how to waltz. So thank you for that.” I sighed. “I should really go to bed now, and so should you. Isn’t the sun almost coming up?”

He nodded.

“Before you go–” he looked behind me with obvious disdain at the building I was staying at and then back at me “–what were you quoting before the priest came upon us?”

I gulped.

“I don’t remember.”

He narrowed his eyes, shifting closer.

“You’re lying. I thought we had established that you don’t lie to me.”

“You established that.” I stepped back, conjuring a cheeky smile. “I didn’t.”

“Tell me.”

“I’ll regret it,” I admitted. “And I prize my sleep. I prefer not to go to bed with a heavy heart.”

He stared at me for a long moment and I waited under his scrutiny, doing my very best to keep it together.

“Tomorrow, then,” he finally said. “Tell me tomorrow.”

But I wouldn’t tell him tomorrow. I would tell him nothing at all.

“Okay. Goodnight, Dracula.”

“Goodnight, dear.”

As I laid my head on the pillow that night, I realised I still didn’t know if Dracula would like Scully or Mulder better. And would never know.

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#bbc dracula #dracula netflix #dracula 2020 #dracula fanfic #claes bang #claes bang fanfic #dracula bbc #vampire fanfic #dracula x reader #distorted lullabies

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sepublic · 4 years

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Chat Chalet and Color Clock!

So, uh.

Remember when I said about Tuba… and the uh… the um, ah.

…

So about the Chat Chalet Car!

NOT comfortable with The Cat having that calendar, and her bear roommate tying up his bathrobe, that… WHOOF. I mean I get Simon was uncomfortable and I appreciate the depiction of what was clearly a panic attack, but uh. I was also uncomfortable… but for a DIFFERENT reason.

Also, I’m pretty sure by this point that One-One, The Cat, and Randall are the only constants in this show! The cars may change as do the seasons, passengers and protagonists come and pass… But those three remain the same, huh? What’s really interesting is that The Cat actually seems to show remorse for screwing over Simon (who may have gotten his number-detector from her)…

We don’t know the circumstances, but The Cat alludes to an ‘army’ that likely ties back into the toy army Simon made; Perhaps a puzzle that went wrong involving him commanding soldiers, only to lose them and almost get killed by the opposing side? We know that Simon got left by her to die by a Ghom, and we still have a shot of her for Book 3 that wasn’t seen yet; So more backstory will come about! Perhaps The Cat left him in the wasteland… Anyhow, it seems that after Amelia destroyed her car in Book 1, she’s gotten a new one, and more Randalls no less from the Beach Car! Always glad to see that guy!

But also; Simon was TEN when he was on the train! We don’t know long he’s been here NOW, but if I had to guess; Probably almost as long as ten years! He’s almost spent as much time on the Infinity Train as he did back in the human world… And when you take into account him being even younger than Tulip or Jesse, YIKES; No wonder he’s so screwed up! His sense of reality must be completely skewed as the Infinity Train is the only home he knows! This does bring up the question of how old Grace was… I think she mentioned saving him? Either way, I think she was also pretty young…

I guess I can see better why Amelia saved Grace; She was just a child, and presumably Amelia’s number wasn’t so high at the time, so she was still a more empathetic person! Plus, Grace wasn’t actively interfering with her plans like Tulip was, so Amelia probably wouldn’t resort to either child murder or neglect, and felt compelled to act! Either way, it makes Grace and Simon’s situation a LOT more disturbing in this context…

Grace also alludes to potentially having NOT known a denizen personally, which implies that her low opinion comes solely from the experiences of others like Simon, as well as Amelia’s own misinformation! With that in mind, I can see it being easier for her to empathize with Tuba, given how she doesn’t have any actual bad memories herself; And we see her number lower, too! And when Tuba… uhh… umm…

…

…Okay, so Tuba died!

We are only HALF-WAY through Book 3, and we’ve already lost Tuba! I know the writers mentioned having to juggle four characters, but that was basically for like… three episodes?

And, Tuba was murdered! By Simon… You know for a second there, I thought Simon might have a change of heart briefly, and TRY to save Tuba only for things to go wrong. And then I jokingly thought, “Oh dang what if this was like Mufasa’s death scene lol?”

It was.

…WELL. At least they didn’t show Tuba’s death in full, graphic detail like they did Mace! And considering how they got away with Mace’s death because he technically wasn’t human despite looking like one (whereas Tuba is a straight-up gorilla), I’m surprised! But also grateful, because Mace freaking deserved it, and Tuba…

…Screw you Simon. How do you go from feeling more friendly to KILLING someone?! I get The Cat screwed you over, and I know this may not be appropriate given how young you were when it all happened… BUT GROW UP.

…You know, Owen Dennis released a few drawings of our main cast, and while Grace and Hazel seemed to be getting along, Simon had a look of concern like something was troubling him. Given what he just did… I’m worried that maybe he won’t have a redemption of any sorts, that he might go off the deep end and descend into pure villainy or whatever? That him and Grace will become enemies, and Simon… WON’T leave Book 3, any better than he started off as.

That- Or he DOES learn to become better, but he stays behind on the Infinity Train because he still has a LOT of work to do, and the Apex (which will apparently undergo a change) still needs guidance. Coupled with him having spent far too much of his life on the Infinity Train, and maybe he’ll spend the rest of his life helping others; After all, the show is not narratively against the idea of rejecting one’s exit after achieving it, if it means helping other people (hence the Book 1 Finale)! It WOULD be a clever turnaround for his position at the beginning of Book 3…

And of course, Grace- Given the apparent confirmation about SOMETHING regarding Hazel… I can also see her staying on the Infinity Train, to take care of Hazel (given how she still really cares about her), and also because she doesn’t really have anything left at home? Nothing positive, at least; Given how many years it’s been, her family may have moved on. IS there anything to go back to? It’d be a morbid prospect to consider…

Also, Hazel! Hazel, in sheer grief, begins to transform into a Turtle; So either that’s her true form, or she’s a shape-shifter and her being ‘human’ is just another form she can take! Hazel doesn’t have any memories, is this a quirk of her programming by One-One? Is her human form based off of ANOTHER passenger that existed beforehand? It’s worth noting that she can transform drastically like Alan Dracula, who was specifically-crafted by One-One. Given my speculation that Alan Dracula was made to help Jesse and Lake, I wonder if this confirms that One-One personally made Hazel to force Simon and Grace to reevaluate their stance on things?

…Either way, I am NOT looking forward to being Simon if Hazel decides to direct her grief at him, especially since he straight-up owned to killing Tuba, instead of trying to make it look like a plausible accident!

…Though let’s be real, I wouldn’t look forward to being Simon, period.

…Also Roy! Yeah not gonna lie, if I had to deal with THAT and a bunch of other puzzles for who knows how many years, I’d probably ALSO lose it and want to kill every denizen I meet!

BUT I WOULDN’T ACTUALLY GO THROUGH WITH IT AND CERTAINLY NOT KILL ANY DENIZENS WHO WERE FRIENDS-

Like, what’s so AWFUL about that moment was how unnecessary, how pointless and needlessly cruel it was! Simon didn’t need to do anything; It seems like Tuba would’ve fallen on her own anyway and died. And even if she didn’t… Who knows HOW far away the Color Clock Car would’ve taken her away?!

At worst, Simon could’ve pretended to try to use his Harpoon Pack, and then feigned some lie about it ‘not working’, malfunctioning at a key moment! Hazel wouldn’t know, she wouldn’t suspect, she’s a child! He could’ve just LET it happen… But no, he has to go the extra mile and specifically get Tuba’s hopes up, just to step on them for no other reason than what? To spite her? To ‘claim’ his kill over her, as if it would’ve made a difference since she was already going to fall to her death anyway? And all because Grace reasonably doubted the need to fight Tuba single-handedly when the Apex was just a few cars away!?

I dunno… And it’s just interesting, because when Simon was around The Cat, whose mere presence gave him a panic attack and PTSD… He didn’t do anything! She literally left him to die, she was THE example for denizens that led towards his hatred of them; And she’s powerless, there’s nothing she can do to defend herself against Simon! I mean there IS Frank, and maybe he didn’t want to start anything in front of Tuba… I have to wonder if he still cares in his own incredibly twisted way because of their past together- Or if his PTSD-induced fear of The Cat overwhelms any spite towards Tuba?

Regardless, that was messed up. It was the most needlessly cruel, pointlessly spiteful thing we’ve seen in the show by far; Even characters like Mace and Sieve, not even AMELIA ever went so far as to bring up an ally��s hopes up like that, just to kill them off anyway!

#infinity train #infinity train book 3 #infinity train season 3 #infinity train cult of the conductor #infinity train spoilers #infinity train season 3 spoilers #spoilers #infinity train simon #simon laurent #infinity train tuba #infinity train grace #grace monroe #infinity train hazel #infinity train the cat

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thebibliomancer · 3 years

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Essential Avengers: Avengers #235: Havoc on the Homefront!

September, 1983

Welcome to the Wizard’s Mansion of Mechanized Mayhem!

This cover has got it going on!

Where “it” is “multiple things.”

Still, I love covers that are just like ‘here’s a couple things happening today’ and this is a great version of that concept with the things being viewing screens that the Wizard is looking at.

He’s watching the Avengers in various peril channel.

This is a good cover!

So last time: uh, a couple things. Wasp called Vision and Scarlet Witch in as reservists when Annihilus tried to blow up the universe with an invisible dome. The two basically contributed nothing but Vision was thrown into a robotic coma.

Wanda and Vision in a tube moved into the mansion while he recovers and Wanda recapped her entire backstory including new retcon that Magneto is totally her dad.

Then she had a Dr. Strange crossover. Since it also involved Monica, two Avengers makes it notable enough to synopsize in brief. And its titled Assault on Avengers Mansion! so its like its baiting me.

Dr. Strange astral projects to bother Wanda when she’s trying to get some grief reading in. He wants to find the Darkhold and she’s the last known possessor or vice versa because thats when she was possessed by Cththon and had to be saved with a care bear stare from the Avengers. But Dr. Strange really wants the Darkhold to stop Dracula from getting it. Yes, Dracula.

Since the Darkhold is being stored in a vault at Avengers Mansion after Beast brought it back from Wundagore, Dracula’s cult attacks and manages to break into the Mansion. Dr. Strange, Wanda, and Captain Marvel all fight off Dracula’s cult and then Dr. Strange trolls Dracula by teleporting the Darkhold somewhere else.

Also, Avengers Mansion got trashed in a break-in in Fantastic Four #257. Dammit. Whats with all the intertextuality in this era?

So that story there is: mostly a lot of Galactus eating the Skrull homeworld and fallout from aforementioned Annihilus story. Only the last two pages are relevant.

Mr. Fantastic shows up to Avengers Mansion to check on Vision, Wanda goes to make him tea, and then he’s teleported to a space trial leaving a giant melted hole in the mansion.

Honestly, I don’t know why FF got asterisked instead of the Dr. Strange issue. They both messed up the mansion but the Dracula cult was more of a break-in than someone leaving a giant hole in the wall. Although that’s more mysterious.

Anyway, with two different ‘read this also’s between issues that messed up the mansion, no wonder the opening splash has to be devoted to a repair crew patching things up.

Wasp is putting her size-shifting to good use to literally micro-manage. Zipping around at tiny size telling everyone how to do their job.

Captain America who is also supervising and impressing people with how buff he is gets annoyed and goes to tell her to stop but stops himself.

Captain America: No... No. She’s in charge here, and I have to let her handle things as best she can. Her methods do seem to bring results... They’re just not my methods, that’s all. Yeah...

And then he sulks off, ignoring Wasp when she asks what he’s muttering to himself.

Hm. The new leader honeymoon period is off, it seems. Cap was Wasp’s biggest supporter as chairperson and now he’s grumbling and second-guessing.

Dang.

I hope this isn’t snapback to Wasp not being leader because she’s flighty and silly. I hope we’re not just going to do that.

Cap wanders over to where Vision-inna-tube and Wanda are. Wanda is still glued to Vision’s side. And either Wanda can read minds or Cap says something between panels because we have Cap wondering in a thought bubble whether if Vision has shown any signs of improvement and then Wanda answering that he hasn’t shown improvement or worsened.

Cap(tain) America: “Well, don’t let yourself get too worried, Wanda. That husband of yours has been through worse scrapes than this. He’ll pull through!”

Scarlet Witch: “When you say it, Cap, I can really believe it!”

Inspirational Cap! Charisma rolls: Very.

Still, Wanda is sad because Vision is lying in a tube helpless and she can’t even touch him.

Cap wanders off again, without even saying goodbye (rude) while musing how much it sucks.

Cap: Blast it! Those kids were just starting to make a life for themselves, and this had to happen! Why was it that of all the Avengers who went up against the threat of Annihilus -- it had to be a couple of reservists who suffered most?

And then starts musing how weird it is that Scarlet Witch and Vision as reservists since they were active Avengers for so long!

Remember, Wanda joined the Avengers not very long after Cap did! Only a couple months in-universe! She was one of his Kooky Quartet!

Cap: At times I wondered if the Avengers would survive -- but somehow, through all the tumult and changes, the team not only survived -- it grew stronger! I pray it always will... with the menaces we so often face, we can’t afford to weaken. We’ve gone through so many changes lately. We’ve picked up two fine new Avengers in Captain Marvel and the She-Hulk, but we’ve lost Hank Pym... and now we’ve lost Iron Man, too. Even Thor has taken himself off the active roster to pursue a personal mission. I hope he won’t be gone too long.

Cap is clearly in some sort of dour Mood.

A dour and monologue-y mood.

And what’s Thor up to leaving the team roster OFF PANEL?

(Sigh)

Well, since the asterisk is telling me to see Thor #334... oh geez, Don Blake is under suspicion of killing Jane Foster. Thor, and Lady Sif take Keith Kincaid (the non-Thor love interest of Jane) on a trip to get the Runestaff (long story) and restore Jane Foster (long story).

Annoyingly, the Thor issue does show him telling the Avengers he’s going to be gone for a while and to take him off the active roster. And borrowing a Quinjet.

I think that it would have been nice to see at least a panel of that. Or something. I don’t want the book bloated with ‘see alsos’ but I’m confused why it put the most emphasis on the FF one when it was literally two pages where Reed manages to ruin the wall while getting kidnapped.

Whatever.

Anyyyyway.

Even though he thinks the new Avengers are good, Cap worries about having both Thor and Iron Man off the team.

Especially Iron Man.

He was their science/technical guy. And on the current team, the only one with any sort of science expertise is new trainee Starfox.

Who is busy making out and not being on time for his daily training session.

At least he remembers that he has a prior obligation.

And he’s only two minutes late. Or to put it another way, he’s a whole two minutes late. And Cap(tain America) is a notable stickler for punctuality.

Cap: “Punctuality may be an anachronism in this day and age -- and, for all I know, it may be unheard of on the planet Titan -- but in my day, it was something that was expected of people!”

Wow, Cap really pulled a ‘in my day.’

Frankly, I’m surprised he doesn’t pull that more often.

Starfox does seem contrite and apologizes for putting pleasure before business which sends Cap into an introspection about why he’s really being so harsh on Starfox.

Protip: It’s Tony. It’s almost always Tony.

Cap: Pleasure versus duty, that’s what it always comes down to. It was Tony Stark’s ‘pleasure’ which led him to giving up his Iron Man identity... leaving the Avengers. Some ‘pleasure’! He’s crawled so far into the bottle, he may never get back out. And there’s nothing I can do to pull him out... Nothing any of us can do, unless he lets us. That’s what’s really bothering me... isn’t it?

And he accepts the apology with a “just don’t let it happen again.”

You sound so old sometimes, Cap.

Meanwhile, She-Hulk is off on a jog through New York, listening to some Beach Boys’ California Girls.

An overeager driver scoots forward and cuts her off at the crosswalk and (I assume) in frustration, she punches the hood of the car.

And given it’s She-Hulk, she kinda punches a hole IN the hood. And probably engine.

The guy being either an idiot or incredibly unperceptive runs after She-Hulk to grab her arm and yell at her.

She does not care for that at all.

Like, why would you? She’s seven feet tall and green and just punched a hole in the hood of your car.

Luckily for the guy’s skeletal integrity, Spider-Man pops out of nowhere to be Friendly Neighborhood and mediate this conflict.

They both air their grievances.

She-Hulk: “This creep grabbed me!”

Creep: “Hey! She... she crunched the front of my car!”

She-Hulk: “That was you who cut me off in the crosswalk? You’re lucky I didn’t rip out your axle!”

Spider-Man: “Now, now! Let’s keep this friendly! Sounds like you’re in the wrong, chum! The lady had the light!”

Creep: “Lady?!? She’s no --!”

Spider-Man: “I wouldn’t say that if I were you! That’s the She-Hulk, dummy! Remember what she did to your car? Well, just imagine what she could do to you!”

Creep: “Oh yeah.”

And with the power of Spider-Man’s bomb-ass mediation, the guy realizes that he was in the wrong, apologizes, and leaves in a hurry.

(Her skeptical glare cracks me up for some reason)

Moral of the story: Don’t be a jerk. Stay behind the line when the little man is lit up.

After the guy takes off, She-Hulk praises(?) Spider-Man’s amazing mediation skills by saying he should have been a lawyer. And then they catch up.

She-Hulk is still having trouble adjusting to the East Coast lifestyle and lack of beaches so Spider-Man suggests checking out the Jersey Shore.

She-Hulk: “My big problem right now is housing. Avengers Mansion is nice, but I want a place of my own.”

Spider-Man: “It’s tough -- rents are pretty steep.”

She-Hulk: “The real trouble is finding a place I like. With the thousand a week I get as an Avenger, rent’s no big deal.”

Spider-Man: “I guess not, if you’re making a... a thousand A WEEK?!? I passed up a chance to become an Avengers, and they make $1000 a week?!? Oh, NO!!”

Ha ha, that ol’ Parker luck.

Maybe Thor should have mentioned the money when he tried to recruit Spidey.

Meanwhile, at a federal penitentiary in Vermont, a scene change.

Bentley Wittman, aka the Wizard, aka the Wingless Wizard, aka the adult man who thought the best use of his time was bullying a teenager, is being questioned about Plantman Sam Smithers’ escape from jail.

The Wizard claims that he knows nothing about Plantman’s escape and that he barely knows the guy anyway. They were airlifted from Ryker’s in the same helicopter and that’s it.

But a convenient x-ray tells a different story.

And that story is that “the Wizard” doesn’t have any skeleton bones.

... Were we really at the point in 1983 where we didn’t know about the dangers of overexposure to x-rays? They just causally scan both “the Wizard” and the guy questioning him?

Anyway, the ruse being rumbled, the fake Wizard rips the bars out of a window and jumps out to his death.

Or it would be death if he wasn’t just animate wood wearing a fake skin suit.

Kinda gross if you think about it.

Anyway, where is the real the Wizard?

Obviously, he escaped jail a while back. Not only is he a sinister criminal mastermind who has sinister masterminding to mastermind but also he was tired of the prison hair code. Because dammit, he wants to rock the goatee!

(Literally a comment he makes, calling the prison barbers butchers)

The Real Wizard gets a BLIP-BLIP-BLIP priority alert that informs him that the plant-him has been discovered which means that the authorities will be looking for him now.

Wizard: Now every law officer in the nation will be looking for me. Well, let them! They’ll not find me, unless they look here! And if they do look here, they’ll have a fight on their hands! The Wizard will not bolt and run like some common criminal! My home is my fortress! They’ll never get me out of it! Never!

Anyway, within an hour of the discovery of Plant-Wizard, a disgruntled agent of the national security council named Mr. Sirkorski receives a briefing.

Usually, this problem would be Gyrich’s problem but he’s busy somewhere else, probably making mutants miserable if I had to guess.

-checking- Yup, he’s over in the X-books, being involved in Project: Wideawake, the project that will later accidentally shoot Storm with a demutantifying gun that will take away her powers, leading her to kick Cyclop’s ass, leading to him leaving the team and feeling sad about being happily married.

Wow, Gyrich, you’re the worst.

Anyway, since the Wizard is tied to the presidential hostage crisis via Plantman, that makes it Serious Business.

Hence, Mr. Sikorski’s serious business.

And he hates it.

He hates this bonkers superhero universe. He just wants to live in a spy thriller universe without all this specific nonsense.

Mr. Sikorski: “Oh, great! Plant-Men... criminal scientists... prison breaks! Don’t they think I have enough to do, just keeping track of what the Russians are up to?”

Also Mr. Sikorksi, on the following page: “And it’s up to me to call in the appropriate parties. I feel a little weird doing this! It’s hard enough for me to believe there are such things as Avengers! I certainly never thought I’d be calling them for help!”

This guy is great. I hope he becomes a recurring and just continues to be low-key pissed about what genre he lives in.

SCENE CHANGE TO AVENGERS MANSION’s actually looking cooler than ever meeting room.

The table looks enormous and theres a giant viewscreen that they can display stuff on.

Only misstep in my opinion is that the seats don’t have personalized icons on the back.

On the big viewscreen map, Cap(tain America) is displaying for Captain Marvel known properties and hideouts that the Wizard has used in the past.

And then big boss the Wasp comes in with She-Hulk to start the meeting.

Since the government has requested that the Avengers help search for the Wizard, Captain Marvel suggests that she could zoom around and check off the whole list in no time flat by using her lightspeed.

Cap(tain America): “You probably could, C.M. -- that’s up to Jan to decide, of course. It would save us some time. After all, the Wizard could be in any of these places... or none of them!”

Wasp: “You think so? If I’d escaped from prison, I’d want to go home. But that’s just me, I suppose.”

Cool contribution, Jan.

I don’t mean to mock, its just she makes a goofy face.

(Hey, I wonder if her new costume was inspired by the FF’s negative zone’d ones. It’s kinda got a similar palette and rough design)

Anyway, Scarlet Witch asks whether she can be excused from superheroing for the day to keep an eye on the Vision.

Wasp: “Why, Wanda! I should say not! You agreed to fill in for Thor while he’s off in space, and I intend to hold you to that! I’m the chairwoman, and I’ll decide who goes where!”

In fact, since somebody does need to watch the Vision, Wasp chooses the most reasonable candidate.

Captain Marvel!

Who needs her to get the task done in five seconds! She can watch the coma-robot.

You make interesting decisions, Jan!

The remaining Avengers will split up into squads.

Captain America will take Scarlet Witch and She-Hulk to check the hideouts on the east of the map. Wasp and Starfox will check out the western ones.

She-Hulk: “You and Starfox, huh? That’s rich... the All Flirt Squad!”

Pfft.

Cap(tain America) isn’t feeling the humor and tells She-Hulk to save her jokes for when they don’t have a job to do.

Minutes later, the Avengers land a Quinjet on the front drive of the Wizard’s Long Island estate. He has one of those.

Cap: “Come on Avengers -- let’s get this over with!”

Good attitude, Cap.

Wanda notes that the grounds look neatly tended considering that the estate has been empty for the past several years but She-Hulk thinks a gardener was probably kept on retainer.

The Wizard was stupid rich.

When they get inside, Cap changes his tune. The place looks too tidy and ready for occupancy to be empty so maybe the Wizard is here.

So he pulls a ‘lets split up gang’ and splits up gang with each Avenger taking a wing.

Cap: “Oh, and She-Hulk, try not to break anything if you can help it. This is private property!”

Priorities!

Granted, She-Hulk is known to break things. Why just today she broke some dude’s car.

The Wizard is watching all of this on his home security system and springs individual traps on the individual Avengers.

She-Hulk finds herself in a series of identical small non-descript rooms, each more identical than the last.

So identical that its the same room, looping.

Wizard: “Through the circuity in that doorway, I’ve activated a dimensional matrix which will keep your walking back and forth ad infinitum through the same room!”

Except without seeing herself leaving which you’d think she’d be able to see.

It’s a smart way to trap a Hulk, provided they don’t run out of patience or get frustrated and smash something.

Meanwhile, Cap gets locked in a chamber where an anti-gravity field has been activated, leaving him flailing through the air.

Oh, and dozens of high-intensity laser torches pop out of the walls and start trying to carve up Cap.

Meanwhile, Scarlet Witch’s individualized trap is the most individualized of all.

Because She-Hulk’s and Cap’s could be used on any number of people really. But Wanda’s feels like it was created to counter Wanda. Pretty on the ball from the Wizard considering he doesn’t often fight the Witch.

When Wanda enters the room she suddenly starts spinning out of control, flies across the room, and lands in a chair.

Wizard: “Marvelous! I’ve ensnared the Scarlet Witch within something against which her astounding hex powers are useless. My field effect devices have generated a pocket of non-causality within that test chamber! Within the area, all actions have an equal chance of occurrence. Therein, all probabilities are skewed. She won’t be able to stand, much less cast a hex!”

Wow! That’s some high octane comic book nonsense science!

The point being that every time Wanda tries to do something, something random happens instead because its all equally likely. She tried to walk into a room and ended up standing on the roof. She tried to back out of the room, she started spinning. She tried to stop spinning and she flew into a chair.

Sure.

With the Avengers all trapped, the Wizard turns his attention to deciding how to dispose of them.

Except, as cleverly foreshadowed by my snide comments, She-Hulk’s trap is only as good as Jen’s patience.

Which is good forrrrrrr. Two dozens loops.

At that point, she’s sure some bullshit is up and scratches the wall with her nails to leave a tangible mark. When she sees the same mark in the ‘next room’ her suspicion is confirmed.

And now that she knows someone is jerking her around, she decides to ignore Cap’s suggestion to not break private property by breaking private property and rips the doorframe (and the dimensional matrix) to crap.

There’s a backup trap that drops slabs of six-inch omnium steel around her but yeah she’s a hulk and she’s not playing considerate anymore. She starts KRUNGing the walls with her fists.

Meanwhile, Cap uses physics to get out of his jam. He throws his mighty shield to break some lasers so action/reaction will propel him backwards and he can jump off the wall, grab his shield back, and uses one of the broken-off lasers against the others.

Also, meanwhile, Scarlet Witch tries to figure out her own, incredibly specific trap.

Scarlet Witch: This is like a nightmare! Whatever I try to do, something else happens. Just in making the attempt to call on my hex power, I wound up falling flat on my face! I can’t even... wiggle my fingers? I... I can! Oh, but only very close to the floor! Whatever is causing my actions to go awry must be weaker near the room’s outer surfaces! Then there’s HOPE -- !”

Wizard must have gone cheap on the pocket of non-causality projector for that room if it’s not completely covering the area. Sure, the area it doesn’t cover is relatively small but now what’s about to happen is going to happen.

So Wanda gets as low as she can go to the floor and uses her probability-altering powers.

This causes the non-causality field to reverse because why wouldn’t it? And causes feedback through the circuitry which causes the master control to shock the Wizard.

It also causes every logic circuit in the master control to overload and the whole dang thing explodes, Wizard barely flying out of the control room in time.

Right in She-Hulk’s path.

She’s not happy. He’s not going to like her not being happy.

She-Hulk: “After what I’ve been through, it’s gonna be a real pleasure to pound that helmet down around your ankles!”

Wizard nopes right out of her way and decides to abandon fortress.

Then Scarlet Witch probability alters his battlesuit flight controls to malfunction to halt his escape and make him crash to the-

...

I’m pretty sure his neck is broken now.

I mean, it’s apparently not because he keeps talking and moving and living but he look at that panel. Guy should be dead as movie Zod.

Y’know, if the Avengers are going to kill the Wizard, the FF should really get them back and kill one of their villains. I suggest Grim Reaper.

Anyway, surrounded by Avengers, Wizard pulls his trump card.

Wizard: “Your confidence is ill-founded, Captain America. There is one resource I can yet draw upon. There is a thermonuclear devise beneath my house -- powerful enough to destroy half of Long Island and make the remainder very unpleasant for a very long time. Much as I hate to see this place destroyed, I would press the button, so to speak.”

“You being such renowned public heroes, would hate that even more. But unless you allow me to go unharmed, I shall active the timing sequence of the bomb’s detonator.”

And Cap is like ‘do you mean this detonator’ and pulls out one he prepared earlier.

HAH!

You know, ironically, if he had just hidden in a safe room or on the roof or something, the Avengers probably would have came and went without noticing him. Springing traps on them really backfired in oh so many ways.

The threesome return to the mansion, presumably after turning Wizard over to the authorities, and Wasp comments that it sounds like they had a bit of excitement (Starfox grumbling to himself more excitement than he had searching the Bronx with the Wasp ha ha).

Cap(tain America): “You’ll be glad to know, Wasp, that your instincts were correct. The Wizard had indeed gone home. He gave us all a pretty good challenge... a welcome challenge, I dare say.”

Wasp: “Looks like I assigned the right people to search the right place, huh?”

Cap: “Yes, Ms. Chairwoman, I’d say you did!”

And elsenow, Wanda goes to the medical bay to check in on Vision and relieve Captain Marvel.

Scarlet Witch: “Can you hear me, darling? I hope you can. I was feeling awfully blue today... And I was given a duty that first seemed annoying, and later became dangerous. But I didn’t give up... I came back, and I won. I know that you can come back, too, darling! It’s just a matter of time... and hope.”

“It’s funny! I thought the Wasp was silly for sending me on that mission. But -- in a way --it was something I need. I think the others needed it, too!”

Captain Marvel: “Then that’s why she sent you, Wanda... because she knew what you needed! And that’s why she leads the Avengers!”

Secret friend mastermind Janet van Dyne sends you out for punch therapy when you need to punch something.

Reminds me of when Captain America picked a fight with Goliath Hank Pym to lift his spirits. Except with a lot less fighting her own friends and more pointing them in the right direction.

Something I love about this era of Avengers and with the big shift in Wasp after Hank’s court-martial is that while her character has changed she’s still recognizably and uniquely herself. She’s still a bit goofy. She’s still playful. And on top of that, she’s proven that she’s a good leader for the Avengers. It’s not mutually exclusive.

Cap (previously Wasp’s biggest supporter as leader) started this issue grumpy and even had his own ideas what the best tactic for searching for the Wizard would be, but by the end he agrees that Wasp made a good decision.

Despite playing the ditz for a long part of her career, Wasp isn’t dumb. And she’s got a good head for the interpersonal challenges of running a team too.

I’m reminded that during the much later Busiek run, when the Avengers need to expand and modernize to match up to expanding challenges, Captain America turns the leadership of the team over to the Wasp.

My point being, I was worried that there’d be snapback on Wasp being leader because she is flighty and silly. But instead, she can be flighty and silly and still a good leader.

I’m pleased with this take, Stern.

Follow @essential-avengers because there will probably be more Wasp being a good leader. Fingers crossed. Also, like and reblog this post maybe if you also like Wasp being a good leader.

#avengers #the Wizard #the Wasp #Captain America #Captain Marvel #Monica Rambeau #Scarlet Witch #She Hulk #essential avengers #essential marvel liveblogging #the great feud between witches and wizards #wasp does a leadership #Cap be like hey don't break this supervillain's doom fortress its private property

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thelittleredheadedmusician · 3 years

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First Lines

So @klaineharmony @wordshakerofgallifrey and @radioactivepigeons all tagged me to do this so uh here it is. This is NOT including academic stuff. But it IS including original work.

Rules: List the first lines of your last 20 stories (if you have less than 20, just list them all!). See if there are any patterns. Choose your favorite opening line. Then tag some lovely people!

Hitch Hiker - my book:

It’s raining, hard enough to hit the windshield in fat drops though he can still clearly see the wet road ahead. Oliver isn’t speeding, in high school he would’ve flown around the curves out of town. But now? Coming home and in bad weather? He manages to stay just below the speed limit. And a good thing too.

I don’t want to linger any longer - DCU, Batman, Green Arrow:

Alfred was leery of the summer camp. Bruce went to public school partially because of Martha's pointed remarks regarding democracy and public education, partly because of her pointed remarks regarding Thomas's own time at boarding schools and prep schools surrounded by equally rich and entitled boys. Alfred never said anything at the time, it wasn't his place, and would never say anything now but, he whole heartedly believed both. Especially after his own childhood in private schools, even if the times and the British and American systems were very different. Regardless, Bruce was remaining in public school with all the trials it entailed. Including the socializing problem.

untitled post final chapter short for Hitch Hiker:

“I’m so glad I get to be here for this,” Eve practically flung herself onto the couch, bouncing slightly before settling. She’d just gotten dropped off after rehearsal and was miraculously still teeming with energy.

Give Me the Stars - an original short story:

Morgan leaned closer to the mirror, shifting her hair so she could examine the new growth near her scalp. It was a dark, almost dull brown and the scalp itself didn’t seem red or irritated. She half combed her fingers through it while she shook her hand loose of the strands. Where the few centimeters of brown ended, a shifting cascade of colors began. A swirl or wave or reflection of green and blue and purple with notes of black and pink and sometimes silver. Like an oil slick made tangible. Except, after two months it’d lost its glimmer, its shine. Which didn’t really matter since Morgan spent about seventy percent of the time tucking it up under one hat or another.

glitter and gold - DCU:

She hadn’t been expecting the second explosion. None of them had been expecting the second explosion. Luckily, they were all clear of the debris but Steph’s ears were ringing. A gut feeling said her comm had been knocked out but it’s not like she’d be able to tell right now anyway. She swayed, unsteady. But Batgirl had to worry about the people around her, not herself. A cursory glance looked as though the block’s residents had gotten back far enough before the blast hit. Leaving them covered in dust but unharmed.

five phones on the table - DCU, Titans:

The long table with its numerous chairs was, by proximity to the kitchen, a dining table but due to the nature of the building it occupied doubled as a meeting and strategy table. The small net, paddles, and light plastic balls stored in an innocuous box in the kitchen meant it tripled as a ping pong table.

Adulting Fail - DCU, Titans, Nightwing:

“RICHARD JOHN GRAYSON,” Donna says and for an instant he wonders how a woman who has never met his mother can sound exactly like her. But then again, Donna has always been and will always be his older sister, never mind the fact neither are sure if it’s by three months or three thousand years.

Seventh Floor Walkup - DCU, Titans, Nightwing:

Dick may slightly regret asking his friends to help him move. See, he didn’t have the funds for real movers but had promised pizza if they helped. Except Roy and Garth could each eat a whole pizza, Donna could eat two, and Wally half a baker’s dozen. Which left Dick carrying eleven boxes of pizza to his seventh-floor walkup.

Et tu Brute - DCU, Flash, Batman:

“What the-?” Barry shifted his momentum with ease, turning from where he’d been running towards the Batcomputer and Bruce waiting there for him to instead run towards the metallic object low to the ground and glowing a dull green he’d spotted out of the corner of his eye.

you were shunned and burned your cradle - Newsies:

Being a changeling in New York City hurts. It makes his skin itch and his lungs burn and his eyes water. From the iron that surrounds him, fills the very air along with the smoke. If he’s not careful when he reaches out or brushes against something his skin comes away with a sharp, searing scar.

The Devil Wears What? - DCU, Hellblazer, Zatanna:

“What is this?” John slurred, arm flopping towards the television screen.

The Hattrick - DCU, Green Arrow, Hellblazer:

There is a strong possibility that Mia is in hell. It’d be vaguely poetic and certainly fitting if her personal hell were an empty warehouse. The fact John Constantine is here definitely sells the idea.

Inhouse House Party - Les Miserables:

“I thought we agreed that we weren’t doing Halloween this year?” Enjolras half grumbled, half called up the steps. “In light of the fact that there is a global pandemic and we’ve been responsibly quarantining and social distancing this whole time.” Despite his complaints, he still fixed the ridiculous headband he wore as part of his costume. The halved wiffle ball glued onto it made pretty decent looking fly eyes, but the weight was weird and the whole thing kept slipping as a result.

Second Time is Coincidence - DCU, Green Arrow, Hellblazer:

“Oh c’mon,” Mia groaned, slumping against the bonds that currently had her suspended from the warehouse ceiling. “Not you again!”

Three Musketeers - DCU, Batfam:

Bristol was technically in Gotham City limits. Though the gilted mansions and private woods with pastures and stables seemed like a whole other world in comparison. The residents liked to think so too, especially because – despite Gotham’s robust public transportation system – it was almost impossible to reach the rich suburb from the city proper. It was because they lived in this separate world that Bristol’s wealthy residents often fought to receive special treatment or even secede from the city all together.

Deal? Deal. - DCU, Hellblazer, Zatanna:

“No,” John whined, drawing it out into about six syllables. He stretched his arm out, nearly falling off the couch in the process, but Zatanna just pushed the half-empty glass of whiskey further away from the edge of the coffee table and out of his reach.

Pumpkin Guts - Les Miserables:

There had been strange noises coming from the kitchen all afternoon. Combeferre was staunchly ignoring them because he’s trying to finish reading this journal article before anyone else came home. Having Courfeyrac in the vague direction of behind him and doing who knew what all is more than enough of a distraction. Besides, Ferre can fairly well ignore the sounds coupled with Courf’s slightly off-key humming of Nightmare Before Christmas.

Sunrise Shadows - DCU, Batgirl, Starman:

It was late, or early depending on your perspective, and Steph was that bone deep tired that came after a fight to save the fate of the world. Which was fine, they’d won, but she didn’t really know where in the world she was and Steph really just wanted to crawl into bed. Maybe take her suit off first. Possibly slap some Neosporin on her cuts and scrapes. But mostly sleep.

The Good Stuff - Newsies:

Kath pulled her favorite armchair into the doorway of her apartment. The antique wingback her friends had helped her liberate from a thrift store in Queens and then clean and reupholster. It was, undeniably, too heavy to be shoved across the hardwood like that but Kath wanted to be comfy. And there were the little felt things on the legs to protect her floor.

Salt and Iron - DCU, Batgirl:

Steph pried her bedroom window open before slipping in and closing it firmly behind herself. Then locked it for good measure. Sure, she’d seen some weirdness since first putting on a mask, and just a few months into her time as Batgirl she’d even fought off some Segway riding vampires with Kara. But this was different. For one, they weren’t real vampires but Dracula from an old film brought to life. For another, it looked like literal hell had overtaken Gotham.

Well, I either have really long opening lines or my understanding of what constitutes opening “lines” is skewed. Also my formatting didn’t always past so poo on tumblr for that. Hmm, this is mostly Halloween fics but also fairly indicative of what I write which is nice. I like that I start with dialogue so often, it’s weirdly fitting for me as a person. The cold open musing on Gotham’s social, political, economic structure at Three Musketeers isn’t my favorite but I am obsessed with it. I think Second Time is Coincidence is my favorite because Mia’s response to John is the only response anyone should ever have to John Constantine.

All of my friends have already been tagged~

#long post #writing #own writing #my fic #original writing

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hellflame-for-a-reason · 3 years

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Vampires don't have blood quirks

Part one

This is a vampire!Iida au so the for blood and slight body horror (the engines)

Blood quirks were a very tricky topic to discuss; not only are they all dangerous and mostly useless quirks, but there's almost no way to become a hero using one. All this is without mentioning the fact that they aren't the only bloodsuckers around, the 0.05% of the population that have blood quirks doesn’t seem so bad when compared to the 0.2% of the population that aren’t even fully human. Vampires, ghouls, nosferatu- whatever you choose to call them, they’re dangerous and they’re terrifying and they look just like you or me.

They have existed before quirks, and all the existence of quirks had done to them was make them more powerful, as well as making it easier for them to hide. They aren’t allergic to the sun, that was a myth started by an author who ran out of things to say about them, the garlic allergy and the mirror thing are both real though. The mirror’s do have to be backed by silver for that to work though, as it was the silver that hid their image. Vampires are just stronger, faster people who age very well and live for a long time. The only thing that makes them scary was their taste for blood- specifically human.

They needed the blood to survive, although they could definitely survive off of animal blood. All that human death was mostly over a preference, vampires tended to feel entitled to that kind of treat due to how much more powerful they were then humans. That was what was running through Tenya Iida’s mind as he got out of bed that morning, it was a tragedy that so many had died for someone’s very expensive taste. Besides, in his humble opinion, there was nothing better than beef blood. Yeah… Iida was a vampire, and as he took his little juicebox of animal blood out of the minifridge under his bed, he wondered if he’d made any mistakes in his essay.

The essay was for english, they had to write about their favorite mythical creature, and as vampires weren’t believed in by most, Iida had written about his own kind. Was that egotistical? He had chosen to write about the specifics of blood and the traditions surrounding it; all framed like fiction of course. He had been careful to avoid personal opinions as he didn’t exactly feel like outing himself right now, he couldn’t even gauge how his classmates would react.

A knock at his door, “good morning Iida!” Ah, it was Midoriya, Iida enjoyed Midoriya’s company. He swallowed his mouthful of blood before replying, he didn’t want to spite it everywhere.

“Good morning Midoriya!”

He knew he was a little loud, but it was the morning; people were supposed to wake up. He was quickly getting dressed, the juice box emptied within seconds, he knew that Midoriya would want to speak to him face to face. Midoriya helpfully confirmed this by asking, “can I come in?”

“Not yet! I’m afraid I'm not yet decent!”

“Ah, okay!” Midoriya’s soft chuckle could be heard through the door, and the droplets of blood still on Tenya’s tongue felt too bitter, too stale. He could feel his own heart beating slowly, around a beat every two seconds. If he were human he’d be worried by this, but it was actually rather quick for him. He shook any sort of thought like that out of his head, finishing getting dressed as quickly as he could, opening the door.

The smile Midoriya gave him bumped Tenya’s heart rate up to one beat per second, he was glad it was near impossible for him to blush. He returned the smile and put a hand on Midoriya’s shoulder, “good morning Midoriya, I hope you’re well.”

“I’m doing good, thank you Iida. How are you feeling?”

“Me?” How was he feeling? Tenya wasn’t all too sure in honesty, he’d just woken up. “I’ll be honest Midoriya, I’m a little concerned about the essays, what did you do again?”

“Oh! I didn’t tell you, did I? I wrote about vampires!” Oh, oh dear. If the subject matter wasn’t enough, Midoriya’s smile was almost enough to make poor Tenya’s heart explode. He just stared down at the smaller boy for a little while, unsure how to react. “Uhh… Iida? Are you-”

“I wrote about vampires too!” He exclaimed, grabbing his essay to show Midoriya, “I wrote about the complex relationship between vampires and blood. What about you?”

“Oh!” Midoriya paused, “my essay’s in my room, but I wrote about how vampires have evolved throughout different eras of media.” He seemed happy, but still taken off guard, Tenya hoped Midoriya wouldn’t think him strange.

Moving to the bathroom, Tenya got to listen to Midoriya talk about all the interesting things he’d learnt during his research. It was lovely to hear about while he brushed his teeth, making sure to get all the way around his fangs, vampires had to take extra special care of their teeth due to the unusual shapes, he wondered if people with blood quirks had similar problems. “-and then I read the original dracula and he could turn into a wolf, so I wondered if vampires would be able to have quirks. I know the timeline wouldn’t match but but consider it, a vampire with a quirk would be-” Midoriya was still going, speaking at a pace that was hard to keep up with, but it was nice to hear his friend talking about his species, even in the realm of fantasy. At least Tenya knew that Midoriya would definitely have a lot of questions if he knew.

Tenya never ate breakfast, well he did technically, but he never ate the solid food that was prepared. He mostly just sat there, talking with his classmates about what they wrote. It seemed Hagakure had written about the invisible man and how mutation quirks were pre-demonized, a lot of the mutated classmates had gone for that angle in their essays, and Tenya couldn’t blame them; although engine was a mutation quirk, he hadn’t really had to face the kind of scorn that would have happened if it had affected his face in any way. He could, however, relate on two fronts; there were never any trousers that fit him correctly, it all had to be custom fitted, and as a vampire, he knew too well what it was like to be demonized and villainized. Luckily, it was easy enough for him to hide what he was, he did worry that people saw his fangs when he brushed his teeth, but Kirishima had those pointy teeth of his, so there was really nothing to worry about.

Bakugo and Momo had both written about werewolves; though Momo had gone the political route whilst Bakugo had just written about how ‘badass’ they were. Kaminari and Kirishima had written about pikachu and sharks respectively, no one had the heart to tell them they’d almost definitely fail this time. Tenya was just glad no one knew vampires were real, or both he and Midoriya would be in just as much trouble as Kirishima. Also Todoroki apparently? The half and half boy had also written about vampires, specifically about how they’re seen as the highest of high society and often large family units. Tenya assumed he was using it as an outlet for his own family issues, but it did sound like a very interesting essay. He personally didn’t think his family was any different from a human one, but he could see why more old-school families would be so elitist.

Homeroom was nothing too out of the ordinary, Mr Aizawa spoke to them about pressure from the public to do more normal school activities, so he warned them that some of their teachers would be gearing up for group projects, and to pray you get sorted into a good group. Tenya wondered a little about what kind of injuries that would cause, but he didn’t have time to think, as it was english next.

”GOOOOOOOD MOOOOORNNIIINNNGG CLAAAAASSS!!” in he came; Mr Yamada, also known as Present Mic, came walking into the class, putting a stack of papers on the desk. He took the voice modulator off and the students took their hands off their ears. Tenya, personally, didn’t mind the noise, as his engine made quite the roars at times. “I hope you all finished your essays! I’ll be coming around to collect them during the lesson!” he sighed, gazing over the class. Tenya stared up at him expectantly, wondering what their task for today might be. “So I was going to talk about how writing changes between the written word and spoken word, but Principal Nezu says we need to do group work, so I’m going to put you into five groups of four. You’re going to pick a creature from the list I’m putting on the board, then I’ll tell you the project.” He then turned and grabbed the chalk, writing down the names of five different mythical creatures;

Fairies…

Mermaids/Sirens…

Werewolves…

Yokai…

Vampires…

Of course it was up there, it had to be. Tenya was just surprised it wasn’t higher on the list, he hoped he’d get that one, he was never one for fiction. Mr Yamda turned back to them, “raise your hands if you did a project on fairies?”

Both Aoyama and Sato raised their hands, Mr Yamada nodded, writing their name next to the word fairies, “Aaaallllriiiiiight! You two can be in a group, we’ll figure out who to add afterwards. How about mermaids, who did them?”

Jirou raised her hand and… oh dear, so did Mineta. “I did sirens sir, they-”

“Sir can I go to a different group?”

“I’m afraid not Jirou, I can’t do that. Don’t worry though, you won’t have to deal with him alone.” Poor Jirou, Tenya couldn’t imagine how she must be feeling at that moment, it must be horrible. “Who did werewolves?” Both Momo and Bakugo raised their hands, glancing at each other. They both already knew what the other had done, but now they were regretting everything. “OOOooOOOOOoooHHHhh!! This one’s gonna be good, I can tell!” Mr Yamada laughed, writing their names down. “Yokai anyone?” Tokoyaki and Ojiro both raised their hands, they’d used Yokai to talk about how mutations were treated by the general public. “I should have known,” he chuckled as he wrote those names on the board, smiling as he turned back to the class, “now how many of you did vampires?”

Tenya raised his hand, straight up in the air, he smiled proudly as he saw Midoriya hesitantly raise his hand and Todoroki barely lifted his hand high enough to be noticed. Mr Yamada nodded, rolling his eyes fondly, “oh dear, I pity whoever gets grouped with you three.” Tenya wasn’t entirely sure what he meant, but he said nothing as he watched Mr Yamada write their names on the board. “Alright kids, so who wants to cover fairies with Aoyama and Sato?”

A few hands were raised and eventually every student was in a group, the person who was put in Tenya’s group alongside himself, Midoriya and Todoroki was Uraraka. It was perfect, she was someone they all enjoyed spending time with. It was then that Mr Yamada turned to the class, ready to announce what the project was, “alright kids, what I want you do to for this project is to make a mockumentary on the creature you’ve picked, I don’t care what tools you use to do so, but it must look good. By the end of the month I want a transcript, a file of research and plans, and the mockumentary for me to grade. If you need absolutely anything, please tell me. For now, though, it’d just like you to brainstorm. Have fun!”

A documentary? Tenya thought the idea of getting to write and film a documentary about his own kind seemed fun, he didn’t know that much but he knew more than his friends. “I think a documentary sounds like an enjoyable project,” he stated as Uraraka joined them at the table they’d made by pushing their desks together.

“Mockumentary,” Todoroki corrected, “vampires are fictional.”

“You don’t know that,” Uraraka corrected him, sitting down, “I believe vampires could exist, they’re no different to people with blood quirks aren’t they?”

Both Todoroki and Midoriya seemed to think this was a reasonable assessment so Tenya had to step in, “pardon me Uraraka but you’re sorely mistaken for there are much less blood quirk users then there would be vampires for the seer fact that vampires are a subset of the species homosapien and not, as you assumed, merely a human with a quirk. In fact it would be impossible for a vampire to hide if they were how you put it, as blood quirk users very rarely have a secondary quirk, get as their own subset, vampires would have just as many quirks as a regular human. If you looked at vampires like they are-”

“Iida, they’re not real.” Midoriya stepped in, “we don’t need to get into details like that until we start writing, we’re just brainstorming now.”

“Ah yes,” Iida nodded, feeling a little silly, “my apologies.” He wished they knew, just so he could talk about it to his heart's content. They were just brainstorming now, planning what they could do. It was Todoroki who said Uraraka could fill the role of the damsel in distress that you see so often in media, and it was Uraraka who responded she could also fill the murderess role.

#vampire #vampire!iida #iida tenya #deku midoriya #midoriya izuku #todoroki shōto #uraraka ochako #blood #present mic #eraserhead

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thesilkenlair · 4 years

Photo

(Casey Here!)

As much D&D as I play, you'd imagine I would eventually get around to illustrating some of their most iconic monsters! Which is to say, the ones that I personally find the most iconic. Which is to say, the ones I memorized when I was reading my dad's monster manual at age nine. Purple worm - Sandworms never go out of style. I've seen a lot of rad designs for this bugger over the editions, but I favor the slightly less reptilian older takes for this particular critter. It's kinda basic, but sometimes that's what you want. It's like a shark or a crocodile: Just flat out unchanged across the ages. Hook horror - I've heard it rumored that Gygax used a small Gigan figure to represent this monster. I can't verify that, but it definitely sounds right. Hook horrors are one of the very first things you meet when you play around in the caves, and they kind of remind me of the Father Deep monsters of the Hork Bajir homeworld that way. Mind flayer - Mind flayers! Basically, take all of your Dracula conventions and dip them in a fresh coat of Lovecraft. There's that old "decadent aristocratic upper caste system who literally eats the poor, but still somehow comes across as less evil than the actual real life 1%" setup that will never stop being relevant. Though personally, I see mind flayers as the first alternative for folks who want to play that monster-who-feels-the-urge-to-eat-their-friends-but-refuses-to-do-it shtick but don't want to deal with vampire baggage. You know, the furry option! ... Slimy? Rubbery? Do we have a word for anthro-cephalopods? I'm only a casual furry. Gelatinous cube - I'm not apologizing for giving this one a slot. Froghemoth - So, back when I participated in my very first long-term campaign, I played a druid. You've met Talia before. Naturally, I was chomping at the bit for the day I finally got to turn her into a froghemoth, and celebrated the day my wish was finally granted and she was allowed to chug human-supremacist-cultists like popcorn. Yeah, okay, the froghemoth is one of the classic vore-monsters. But it's a charming design in its own right. Kind of a freaky Hanna Barbara critter, like you'd see Space Ghost fighting. No matter how many artists draw it, they can never shake that inherent goofiness that third edition tried so hard to purge. I would probably cram them somewhere onto Fronterra if I was sure they were public domain. As is, I'm 99% certain that this is what Visser Three turned into when he ate Elfangor. Tarrasque - D&D's original kaiju! Kind of just takes the name and nothing else when it comes to its mythological origins, but I don't mind. The Tarrasque is that endgame "let's test the players" final boss monster... Or at least it's supposed to be. My DM reskinned it for our final Pathfinder session, and one of the PCs still nearly killed it in a single turn. Also, he let Talia turn into one, so maybe Pathfinder is just bullshit? Regardless, the Tarrasque has one of those simple, iconic designs. I've heard rumors it was based on the concept art for Fallout's deathclaws, and like the Gigan-figure, I can't verify this in any way. With its reptilian features, twin horns, spiny carapace and grabby fingies, it has an undeniable lizardlike quality that I can't help but find charming. Kinda feels like a more refined version of Zilla? Though for an insatiable eating machine, I notice a lot of artists give it very little belly to work with. Come on, this guy eats entire cities! Give him somewhere to put it! Rust monster - An icon of icons, the rust monster! Drawing its origin from a bizarre Chinese "dinosaur" toy, later designs have made it more insectoid in appearance, but never feeling QUITE like anything Earthly. It's the four limbs. Between the four limbs and the tail, it's hard to tell if it's an arthropod mimicking a vertebrate or the other way around. I'm pretty sure this is part of what inspired my ossaderm creatures for Fronterra. Also, Ryla can turn into one in our campaign. I have no shortage of havoc to wreak when the opportunity comes. Behir - Dragons in D&D are kind of... extra. Godlike beings, paragons of whatever personality trait they represent. Whenever there's something uber powerful in D&D, it gets compared to dragons. It makes them kind of unapproachable. Behirs provide all the essentials of a dragon - Serpentine body, scaly skin, horns, sapience, breath weapon, taste for human flesh - wrapped up in a smaller, weirder, IMO cooler package. You know, your Lambton Worms. A lot easier to port in and out of adventures, a lot less of an event when they show up, but still a formidable force in their own right. I like the behir. The behir knows how to taunt me just the right amount. Bulette - Another Chinese "dinosaur" figure monster, the bulette is actually another one I associate with Talia. Whenever we faced a problem that didn't have a glaringly and immediately obvious solution, she would turn into a bulette, whether it was for beating up robots, digging through obstacles, trampling smurfs, navigating labyrinths, distracting slashers with cute dog tricks... it was kind of her signature form. But shenanigans aside, the bulette is just an excellent monster. While the "land shark" shtick may be common, there's a lot more going on with the bulette's design. It's rumored to be a mad wizard's creation, as he combined a snapping turtle with an armadillo and mixed in a helping of demon blood to taste. Personally, I always considered that to be a neat little rumor to flesh out the world, but never assumed it to be true. The bulette just feels too naturalistic for that. Like some kind of protomammal or crocodylomorph, or weird triassic monstrosity. Magic and demons and dragons and so on DO affect the ecosystem. I always figured the bulette was just something that evolved to compete in this new biosphere. Owlbear - This one, on the other hand, I fully believe the "mad wizard was bored" explanation. Another chinasaur critter, the owlbear is frequently made fun of. What makes it scarier than a regular bear? It can't fly, so why have owl parts at all? Why trade fangs for a beak in what is at best a latural move? Well, first of all, fuck you, owls are creepy motherfuckers, and that alone is enough to justify it. But secondly, that's part of its charm. Besides some improved vision, the owl DOESN'T make it more dangerous. What makes the owlbear dangerous is that it's an insane, Frankensteinian monstrosity roaming uncontrolled through the wilderness! It doesn't need weaponry, its sheer temperament is enough to make it a worthy opponent. Sure, the practical threat might not be hugely above that of a bear, but storytelling isn't about numbers. Any asshole can go outside and get eaten by a bear. The owlbear is part of this world. The owlbear is a reminder of what magic can do. Someone somewhere actually made this thing, for whatever reason, and now the world is irrevocably changed because of it. Owlbears go beyond practicality. They bring the lore! Also, bears don't have very good eyesight, so the big owl eyes probably make them better hunters. Flumph - Is that a Japanese-style martian? Do we just have aliens in D&D? Dear lord, I love them! Okay, the flumph has got a sizable hatedom. And that hatedom can eat my ass, because the flumph is precious and perfect just the way it is! Flumphs are designed as a sort of sidekick-type creature. They're not very good fighters, but they bring knowledge and lore to the table. Whether they're aliens from some far off star, seeking your aid to prevent catastrophe, or psionic natives of the Underdark eager to bask in your positivity and hopefully stick it to the tyrants they're forced to share real estate with. My group generally treats them as straight up aliens, benevolent but strange. Course, we're all pretty strange, so we get along just fine. Otyugh - Okay so, the aberration creature type implies that this is something from another world that doesn't belong. And yet otyughs, which are aberrations, are an essential part of this world's ecosystem? Okay, I can buy the idea that an alien organism adapted to our world and is now a key part of it. Fronterra's got a TON of that. It just feels like after a point, the otyugh would be considered a beast? Otyughs are great. Every ecosystem needs a decomposer, and every fantasy story needs at least one dive into the sewers. Otyughs provide both, and are intelligent enough to keep the plot moving if it hits a snag. There's always going to be garbage, refuse, carrion, decay, things that need to be broken down and processed. Carrion crawler - The carrion crawler is pretty similar to the otyugh in that it's technically not considered a beast, and therefor must have its origins elsewhere, but feels so integrated into the ecosystem that it just feels like it belongs. They usually can't talk, so they're not just reskinned otyughs, but I still consider them pretty essential. Otyughs find a singular spot where waste is dumped and shovel it down at their leisure, while carrion crawlers skulk through the tunnels, actively seeking their food. The crawler got one of the most radical redesigns on the transition from second to third edition, but I can't really choose a single favorite. The oldschool tentacle-faced cutworm looks like it could be a real animal, while the googly-eyed Halloween decoration feels like it could be from another world, merely having set up shop here. Could there name apply to two wholly different creatures? If so, then I'm not sure which one mine would be considered. I kinda mashed them together into something that doesn't quite feel like either. But I like it for what it is. Maybe I'll sneak it onto Fronterra. Aboleth - Tentacled, telepathic sea creatures who turn humans into slimy minions, who remember everything their race has ever seen, and who are always plotting something behind the scenes. Yeah, the aboleths really crank up the Lovecraft elements. Actually, between the mind flayers, the flumphs and the aboleths, even the most oldschool D&D covered quite a few essential Lovecraftian bases. The flayers are your corrupt yet still recognizable humanoids who can be considered truly evil, the flumphs are benevolent-yet-bizarre guardians who know more than you, and the aboleths are the truly unknowable, sinister intellects. The fact that they can barely function on land honestly only adds to that, IMO. They're inherently difficult for a party to reach, and they offer some nice underwater adventure seeds. Not enough adventures go underwater. There's this perception that the ocean is bad for storytelling because so many writers lack the creativity to make it work. I wanna run an underwater adventure now. Beholder - Icon of icons! THE D&D monster! The beholder! Paranoid, jumpy, always five steps ahead and twenty steps perpendicular! Beholds are fun in just about every way. Between their wacky, diverse designs, their elaborate lairs, their eccentric personalities, their bizarre powers, you're never gonna run out of fun with beholders. Remorhaz - It's always been a thing that bothered me with environment-based monsters. Why does the ice monster who lives in the cold use ice as a weapon? Aren't most of the things it encounters going to be resistant to the cold? Sure, a cone of cold will still kill a polar bear, but a lot of the monsters in the tundra are outright immune to cold. A while dragon's not going to get much use out of its breath weapon fighting frost worms and frost giants. That's one reason the remorhaz sticks out to be. We have an icy tundra beast whose insides are a scorching furnace, which it can intensify and weaponize as it sees fit. Which also conveniently explains why its design - a sort of cobra-esque centipede - invokes warm-weather creatures, despite its icy environment. It's a nice subversion of the usual tropes, plus it's just a memorable, cool looking critter to begin with. On a smaller note, the remorhaz feels like a good loophole for Ryla's "no cold weather morphs" rule. Turning into something elementally affiliated with ice is no good, but a non-magical monster that survives the cold by superheating its insides? That seems perfectly viable to me!

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writingpuddle · 5 years

Note

The foxes and Andrew reacting to Neil with a British accent?

Hey anon im p sure you sent me this like a million years agobut I found it again when going thru my asks yesterday so here goes myattempt at a bulletpoint fic:

Neil grew up in the states, sohis default accent is American, but he is ridiculouslygood at imitating. Like give him a ten second audio clip and he canextrapolate basically an entire dialect from it

The Foxes discover this aroundHalloween when watching a spooky movie and Neil goes into a perfect deadpanmockery of the Dracula character’s terrible Transylvanian accent

It becomes a thing

The Foxes will give him an accentand just set him loose

Neil is kind of surprised bytheir enthusiasm but also secretly very pleased to have found a way to amusehis Foxes

He likes making them happy so henever denies them

Except Kevin, but that is mostlybecause the team gets more amusement from watching Kevin get frustrated and trynot to show how annoyed he is over Neil being such a petty little asshole

Also they discover that if Neilputs on an Irish accent when Kevin isn’t paying attention he will absolutelyJUMP

Give him an order in an Irishaccent and he just instantly starts to follow through before he wakes up,blinking in disorientation as he realizes what he was doing

It’s funny at first, then theyrealize it’s because he associates the accent with his mother, and then itskind of sad, and then Kevin starts telling more stories about his mum and someof the few good memories he has of her, and then it gets funny again because Foxesare Foxes and they do love a good roast

Kevin complains outwardly but itsactually kind of cathartic to talk about his mother

He tells Andrew this inconfidence and Andrew just glares at him like no shit dude, you need fuckingtherapy

Anyways

That summer is going to be thesummer of the girls graduation

So they’re all determined to dosomething big to celebrate

And they get it in their heads todo a Eurotrip

Neil isn’t really payingattention at first because he’s more concerned about whether Andrew will bewilling to do a transatlantic flight

(Andrew is obviously going tocome. Flights suck, but there is no way he can cope with his whole family beingthat far away. He does not feel the need to explain this. It should beobvious.)

That’s when the Foxes pause, alldevious.

They’ve been plotting

“So, Neil,” Allison says. “At what point are you going to introduce usto your British uncle?”

Neil does not see where this isgoing

In fact he is largely baffled bythe suggestion.

“You realize my uncle is agangster, right? Like, literally a crime boss. Possibly the most dangerousperson in Britain.”

“Mm-hmmmmm.”

Neil is ???

“But he saved you Neil,” Nicky says emphatically. “We need to thank him.”

“Uh, kind of by accident, butyeah, technically.”

“You should call him. Just toask. You know, at least give the guy some warning that you’ll be in the area.”

Neil is still kinda confused butokay, fine.

Now here’s the thing

The Foxes have heard any numberof accents from Neil by this point

Including a magnificent Godfatherimitation

And probably half a dozendifferent British ones

But those were always for the laughs

He always picked a terribleaccent or would mock the living hell out of a posh one

Neil isn’t used to being thefunny one so he’s trying his best okay

And it’s fun and all but Neil can’tbe seductive to save his life

Even if you made him speak theFrench, the language of love itself,he’d just sound like he’s talking about the next game because he has zeroflirtability

Face it his and Andrew’sflirting sounds kind of like death threats to outsiders

They deserve each other

SO the Foxes convince Neil tocall up his uncle and they huddle around the phone

Only to be utterly disappointed

Neil talks with Stuart for all ofa minute and a half, just normal voice

He hangs up and tells them thatStuart will meet them in London in May and that they’re going to get him inshit with the FBI for this

The Foxes retreat, mutteringmutinously

Andrew is well aware of what’sgoing on, but it’s halfway amusing so he doesn’t say anything

As the months pass the Foxesbecome increasingly desperate in their attempts to make Neil say something sexy

They make him quote movies, TVshows, read out flirty text messages

One memorable time they even gethim to read out a page from Fifty Shades of Grey in a stuck-up British accent

They almost die laughing

It’s like a fucking superpower

Neil can say absolutely anythingand make it come across totally non-sexual

The Foxes have pretty much givenup by the time the summer trip comes around

Neil spends the plane ridepretending not to fuss over Andrew so by the time he arrives he’s totallyexhausted

And here is what he didn’texpect:

He is totally used to listeningto the local accents and then blending in naturally

It’s very disorienting beingamong the Foxes and their various Americanism, but hearing British accents allaround him

And his instincts are snarled upin knots

Plus he’s fucking tired

So he keeps slipping

First it happens when they passthrough customs, just a little lilt to his voice to put the officer at ease

But then it keeps happening

Stuart sends a couple cars topick them up and take them to this massive place he owns right in centralLondon

Being a crimeboss comes withcertain perks okay

Neil slips up again when he’stalking to the driver, his accent washing back and forth

Everyone else isn’t really payingattention because as excited as they are about Neil’s accent they’re in London and they’re all exhausted and fora lot of them it’s the first time they’ve been outside of the States, ever

Andrew notices

But he doesn’t say anything

They get to the apartment andfind a note there from Stuart saying he’ll pick them up tomorrow for a tour

Everyone splits off into theirrooms to sleep

Neil falls into bed exhausted, but sleep doesn’t come

And Andrew knows this but is tooexhausted himself from the stress of flying to deal with it right away

So he just wraps an arm aroundNeil’s stomach and holds him there as he drifts off

And it’s not enough for Neil toreally relax but it’s enough to make him feel grounded

The next morning Stuart shows upand everyone blinks at him bleary eyed and suspicious

But he’s charming and most ofthem find it kinda disarming

Which is how the Foxes end up takingwhat is probably the most expensive tour they’ve ever had (Allison excepted),lead entirely by a crime boss

Neil is lagging behind a bit buteveryone is so caught up in it that they don’t really notice

Except Andrew

That boy is always attuned to Neil

So he drops back with him andthey have a brief intense staring contest which ends in Neil looking away

They’re standing in Trafalgarsquare watching some street performers so no one is listening

Neil is obviously chewing onsomething and Andrew waits him out

He would wait forever

Finally, Neil just says, “I’vebeen here before.”

Which isn’t much but Andrew’smemory has never failed him before

I couldn’t live there again. I couldn’t retrace my steps to any ofthose places

Andrew knows what its like to feelsick at things that other people would love

So he nods and stands next toNeil the whole day

Not quite touching but closeenough that they can feel each others gravity

At the end of the day Stuart andNeil have a very cordial goodbye and then Stuart leaves them back at theapartment

Everyone is gushing about how charismatiche is and Neil doesn’t bother to correct them

His uncle has always been a bitof a snake-charmer but at least he knows he’ll never hurt his Foxes

They’ve still got a few days inLondon and Stuart’s secured them tickets to an underground dungeon tour thingthat usually has months worth of waiting list

Neil’s a little leery of goinginto a dark underground space, but with his Foxes there he’s sure he’ll beFine™

The team breaks out drinks aftersupper but Neil doesn’t have the energy

(Honestly according to thistimeline they’ve been in London for twenty-four hours they should be jet-laggedto hell and back, but w/e)

So he retires to their room andAndrew follows him like he always will

He sits next to Neil on the bedand waits

God there’s so much fuckingpointed silence between these two dear lord guys learn to communicate

Eventually Neil sighs. “I thoughtit would be okay. With all of them here.”

Andrew mulls that over

He doesn’t know how to admit thatit bothers him too. Seeing Neil reverting back to old habits, trying to blendin like its second nature

But he knows Neil is here to stayso he just slips a hand around the back of Neil’s neck and tugs him in untiltheir foreheads touch, breathing in the same air

Gradually the tension eases outof Neil

“We can go home,” Andrew says

“No,” Neil says. “I want to stay.I want to learn how to…do all of this, as Neil.”

Andrew squeezes the back of hisneck one more time. “Okay.”

It’s a silent promise, one he’sbeen keeping for over a year now: that any time Neil drifts too far, Andrewwill keep him anchored.

Neil knows it and he can’t helpbut smile a little, watching Andrew’s hazel eyes disappear into the shadowbetween their faces.

“Yes or no?” he asks

Andrew draws back a little

“You’ve been dissociating allday.”

“I’m here now.”

Andrew scowls and let’s go ofhim, standing up to go dig out his pajamas from his luggage

Neil flops down on the bed andadmires the view while Andrew changes

(That’s a nice thing. Andrewbeing comfortable enough to change in front of him. Sure, he’s always partiallychanged out in the locker room, but in private it’s different. It’s more. And Andrew is willing to give thatto Neil.)

(It’s very nice.)

“Staring,” Andrew grunts

“Can you blame me?”

“Yes.”

Neil sits up again and tugs onthe front of Andrew’s shirt until he gives in and steps up close, betweenNeil’s legs

His hands go to Neil’s sideswithout conscious decision

“Nicky wants the genuine Europeexperience,” Neil murmurs, toying with Andrew’s hem. He still hasn’t been givenpermission to touch, so he doesn’t. “We’re going to be staying in hostels.Might be the last time we have a room to ourselves.”

Andrew bites down on a thousandimpulses, reflexes to shut Neil down, cuthim out

Instead he just kisses Neil, goodand slow, a reassurance that they’re there,they’re real, and that this isn’t going away

“Andrew—”

“Yes,” he says, and pushes Neilback onto the bed.

You know what happens next

They love each other deeply andprofoundly and all that but they also like each other’s butts ya know

So afterwards they get cleaned upand curl back up in bed to sleep

Andrew climbs over Neil andnearly knees him in the balls and Neil’s laughing a little and Andrew scowls inannoyance as Neil scoots closer

And with the most obnoxious chav accent that’s ever been heard says, “Any chance a bloke could get a bit of a snog before bed?”

It is quite possibly the worstthing Neil has ever said and Andrew does not hesitate in slapping a pillow overhis face to try and smother him

Neil is laughing his ass off andit devolves into some pretty stupid wrestling before Andrew gets Neil pinneddown, straddling his hips

“Bloody wanker,” Neil says, unable to contain his grin

“Shut the fuck up,” Andrew says,and kisses him so that he does.

#i dont think this is what you asked for but its what my brain spat out lol #anon #writing prompt #have i been sitting on this for months?#probably #aftg #andrew minyard #neil josten #andreil #accents #fic #my writing #Chav!Neil #the foxes go on vacation

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mydarlingklaus · 4 years

Text

Meeting the Mikaelsons:

So, this is my first time ever writing a main pairing that wasn’t Klaroline. I’m loving sizzie and hope I did them justice. There will be a part 2 soon. I’m obviously a KC shipper and have made it clear that, to me, they are Lizzie’s family. If that’s not your flavor then you do not have to read. Leave reviews here on my ff.net account please! Enjoy (:

Summary: After insisting that Sebastian accompany her for Christmas break, Lizzie and Sebastian hit the road to New Orleans to spend the holiday with her family and meeting them for the first time...including Klaus.

"Explain to me again how the Klaus Mikaelson is your father when I was under the impression the worthless mortal with the horrid beard held that title?" Sebastian wondered from the passenger seat of the camaro Lizzie was struggling to drive.

He cringed at her aggressively pulling at the stick shift like a mad woman.

"Are you sure you don't want me to drive?" He asked.

"Why would I do that?"

Sebastian sighed. "I adore your dominance as much as the next but you command this vessel like a drunken pirate."

Still looking forward, her thick eyebrows raised defensively.

Lizzie scoffed. "Please like I'm going to let a guy who's never driven in his life lecture me on driving tactics, or crash my only source of transportation. No thank you."

The corners of his lips twitched up in a half smile. "Touché but, I think you know I'm a rather fast learner."

His hand raising to brush his knuckles against her soft and pink cheek.

Lizzie could already feel herself wanting to succumb to his talents of distraction.

Pulling away from his tempting touch with a flip of her hair. "Pass."

He shook his head with a soft laugh.

"First of all, that 'worthless mortal' you speak of is my father and I would appreciate it if you didn't insult him right in front of me. Even if you're right about the shaggy dog on his face..."

Lizzie mumbled, bringing a smirk to his lips.

"And second of all, Klaus isn't my dad...well technically. He's dating my mom who's he's loved for like, ever, and he's been in me and Josie's lives since we were kids. He's like a step dad, I guess. It's complicated. As you can tell by now my life isn't exactly conventional." Lizzie explained.

He nodded, staring aimlessly outside of the car window.

"Mmm I see, but I assume you two are quite close?" He assumed. "Given how persistent you were for me to accompany you on this little field trip, all the way to New Orleans, just to get his blessing. I must be special."

The blonde witch pulled her eyes from the road to flash the smirking vampire a harsh death glare at his teasing tone.

-Damn him.

After discovering the truth about Sebastian's past and initial reason for seeking her out in the beginning of the semester, Lizzie was unsure where she stood with him. Of course her attraction didn't falter, but her trust did. With him not—yet—being a student at the boarding school, avoiding him was rather easy until one day when he ambushed her during lunch time. Not wanting to draw any attention to her humiliation, Lizzie insisted they drive off campus to hear any bullshit excuse he could charmingly muster.

There were yells, bickering, name-calling and aneurysm spells that soon resulted in the screaming match transforming to bodies rubbing against each others in a battle of tongues and hateful lust. After consummating the relationship on the hood of her car, both were calm enough to have an actual conversation with one another about the situation.

Lizzie explained where majority of her anger stemmed from—how her mental stability has been her priority lately, and his mind games were cruel to the process. He made her feel she was crazy. Sincerely, Sebastian was apologetic about the entire ordeal.

Yes, his initial lure to the young witch was under selfish pretenses but he quickly—genuinely—began falling for her; as she fell for him.

They were a "bloody mess", as Sebastian said. Agreeing to earn back her trust and acceptance before anymore could happen between them.

One month later...

Not only was Sebastian now a new student at the Salvatore Boarding School—heeding to Alaric's request to keep an eye on him—but his relationship with Lizzie progressed as well.

In light of their new status as a couple, it didn't take long for Klaus to catch wind of the news all the way in New Orleans.

Caroline swore she wasn't the one who told him.

The hybrid knew Lizzie was interested in a new boy in town during one of his previous Mystic Falls visits in the beginning of the semester.

But the two never met.

Klaus was like a father to Lizzie. They were extremely close, they talked almost everyday about everything, but her love life was the only aspect of her life she didn't want to share with him. He wasn't particularly keen on any of the girls dating sheets—nearly scared Landon to death. But finding out one of them was with a vampire of all creatures, especially one as old as him threw his defenses in overdrive.

Despite them not dating too long, Lizzie really liked Sebastian and wanted Klaus and Caroline to like him too. Which triggered the idea of proposing that he spend Christmas break with her and her family in New Orleans.

Caroline flew out with Hope and Josie the night before via Klaus's private jet, while Lizzie insisted on driving; to delay the inevitable tension upon their arrival.

Lizzie forced her attention back on the road, gripping the steering wheel tightly at his arrogant, yet accurate, assumption.

Despite them being in a loving and committed relationship, their dynamic was consumed with teasing and playful bickering to no end. Constantly trying to get a rise out of each other, which usually resulted in coaxing out their pent up desires.

Her eyes rolled dramatically. "Deflate your ego by a ton, teen Dracula." She scoffed. "I invited you solely because I know you have nowhere else to go for the holidays and wouldn't want to freeze your ass off in a Mystic Falls winter."

Sebastian intently stared as she continued.

"Now, me being the charitable person I am, decided to contribute to the season of giving by helping you out. I'll be happy to leave you on the side of the road so the villagers can have their way with you instead." She said with a beaming grin.

Sebastian threw his head back in laughter. He was convinced Lizzie underestimates just how much she amused him.

"And there it is...that natural fire that I love so dearly." Turning his head on the back of the seat to gaze at the exceptional beauty beside him.

She failed to hide her smile and blush, grateful to be driving to avoid his endearing stare that always turned her into mush.

Shaking her head while briefly trapping her bottom lip between her teeth. "Shut up."

His leftover chuckles dissipated over the course of the ride. It had been 30 minutes since their last conversation in the car, sparking Sebastian's suspicions. Lizzie was many things but a mute wasn't one of them, and she barely said anything to him besides a few words here and there.

Twirling the daylight ring she made him between his fingers as he observed her tense posture, trembling hands hands on the wheel and shallow breaths leaving her pink lips. His heightened vampire senses made him feel hers just as intensely.

It was driving him crazy.

"Are you alright?" Sebastian finally asked.

Lizzie blinked rapidly like she'd been dragged from a daze. "Yup. Never better."

Pressing his lips together, he spoke.

"Pull over."

She whipped her head to side and eyebrows furrowed. "What, why?"

"Pull over." He repeated with no further explanation.

"Absolutely not. We're already behind schedule and I'm not making us even more late just so you can dive your fangs into Bambi." She spat.

He growled under his breath. "For Christ's sake Elizabeth, can you for once not be stubborn and pull this bloody contraption over."

Not having much energy to fight, she eventually sighed and did as he asked.

Engine off with nothing but the slow breeze from the empty road to keep them company.

Sebastian unbuckled his seatbelt and turned in his seat to face the flustered blonde.

"What's wrong?"

She swallowed, fidgeting with her fingers to avoid his stare. "Nothing. Why would you think something is wrong?"

He shrugged. "Well, your knuckles nearly whitening from the death grip you possessed over that wheel. Your breaths are labored, body tense, face hard like stone..."

"Maybe I'm just sexually frustrated." She expressed.

The comment making him grin, briefly, before his face neutralized again in sincere concern.

"And you haven't said a word to me in half an hour, not even to tell me to stop messing with the radio buttons."

That actually did grind her nerves when he was examining the radio like a rocket ship—little did she know it was his attempt at getting her attention.

His finger gently pulled her chin forward until she was finally looking at him. Her usual fiery blue now a calm nonexistent flame. Brushing a strand of hair behind her ear to reveal more of her face as his palm softly cuffed one cheek. Her tension quickly diminished, relaxing into the seat and his light touch.

The sweet affection made her stomach tie into a million knots.

"Talk to me." He softly pleaded.

It was still weird for Lizzie to be so vulnerable with someone who wasn't her family.

Lizzie hated being vulnerable. She hated asking for help or showing her weaknesses. It wasn't until lately she began managing her emotions, and Sebastian was an expert at drawing them out of her. Even with Sebastian's reassurance and acceptance, exposing her emotions was a long and tiring battle that she was always losing.

She didn't want to lose with him.

The blonde witch nervously licked her lips, conceding with a sigh. "Okay, I'm just...nervous, about all of this. More than I thought I'd be."

Sebastian's expression demonstrating he already suspected that was the reason.

"This is kinda a big deal for me. I've never really had boyfriends per say, so the whole introducing a guy to my family thing has never happened before. And I definitely never let anyone meet Klaus unless they had a death wish or something and—"

His finger suddenly resting on her lip paused her rant.

"I don't think I've ever mentioned how charming your rambling episodes are." His smile deepened.

Lizzie rolled her eyes grinning. "It's not charming it's annoying. But I can't help it when I'm nervous, I have a serious case of word vomit. Another pesky trait I inherited from my dear mom, along with the tendency to fall for old as dirt vampires."

Sebastian chuckled, removing his hand from her face so she could continue.

She licked her lips again. "I like you, and that wasn't easy for me to admit so don't even think about using it against me." Pointing her finger at him sternly.

His eyes narrowed. "Why would I do that?"

"Wouldn't be the first time you use my vulnerability for your own gain, and you wouldn't be the only one..." She muttered.

His jaw clenched.

He could feel his blood boiling, erupting at the thought of someone taking advantage of her. Desiring to slaughter every last one of them. Made him feel sick that he was one of those grotesque people as well.

No time would be enough for him to make that up to her.

He decided not to defend himself, knowing he once did hurt her and had to live with that, and instead let her finish her thoughts.

"But that's all in the past now, and after much groveling I've forgiven you. We have a good thing going right now. It's real this time, and scary and amazing but sometimes I feel like I'm rushing into things, because I'm afraid it won't last. A lot of things in my life have been temporary, especially in the romance department."

Sebastian was as furious as he was relieved that no other boy has experienced Lizzie the way he has. But furious at how they made her doubt herself and deemed her as not good enough for them.

"I'm not saying I want to marry you or anything but, I'm in no rush for this to to be over either. And I'm scared that we'll take this huge leap only for it not to last, or I scare you off when you discover all of my many shattered pieces." She concluded.

Sebastian's eyes softened into a light blue as he allowed her fears to sink in and realizing he shared similar ones. He has known nothing but death and darkness for centuries. The last girl he loved died in front of his eyes before he met his own fate.

What he and Lizzie had was just as new and scary for him as well.

He hummed. "I think we've established that we're both rather broken, in our own ways. You're definitely something I wasn't expecting either, Elizabeth and quite ominous with how quickly you captured my heart."

She cocked her head to the side in disbelief. "I'm the complete opposite of ominous. Are you really using middle ages pick up lines on me when I'm trying to be serious?"

He smirked moving closer towards her face. "I assure you there's nothing, how do you say it, 'cheesy', about what I'm saying. You have to know I mean every word."

She did.

Her breath hitched and heart rate sped to full capacity.

"It's terrifying how much you make me feel. So demanding and passionately. How much you intrigued me even when we first met, on that fateful day in the Old Mill, or how quickly you made me want more when I knew I shouldn't."

Sebastian could feel his throat tightening from all the bottled up emotions forming.

He cleared his throat. "After what happened with Casandra, I closed my heart and sights to finding love and everything in between. I didn't think I would ever find that deep of a connection with anyone again. Hell, I didn't know if I was ever going to have another opportunity to even try but, then I found you Elizabeth Saltzman. The radiant ray of a chaotic sunshine." His smile stretched his face brightly.

Lizzie's was sure he could hear her pounding heart ready to explode out her chest.

"And believe me I never thought in my lifetime I would ever fancy, let alone form any sort of relationship, with the daughter of the most dangerous and ruthless creature to ever exist." He added with a slight laugh. "But I did, and have no regrets about it."

Both their hands hesitantly joined at the console between them. Lizzie eyes were on Sebastian while his were examining their now interlocked fingers. Studying the display of affection like it was a foreign concept.

He wasn't the easiest person to read but she could sense how overwhelmed he was experiencing such intimacy; she felt it too.

Rubbing his lips together, still looking down he finally spoke.

"I—I like us, as well." He said in almost a whisper when finally looking back up to her stunned face. Tears plucking at the corners of her eyes but never falling.

"This relationship is scary for me too, not even because I haven't exactly dated anyone in the last few centuries. It's different, strange even, but good—stable." He mumbled the last word.

"I want this to last until it can't anymore. I want to adapt to your world the best I can. And as truly terrifying as meeting your entire family is I will gladly walk through those flames, as long as you're there walking beside me." He declared with a widened smile.

Somehow he always knew what to say.

Lizzie subtly sniffled, shaking her head her head as her eyes danced between his and his inviting lips. "You're so damn cheesy."

Not giving him an opportunity to reply for her lips were already molding against his. Initially caught off guard, Sebastian didn't reciprocate but then quickly responded to the kiss just as eagerly—swiftly cradling her face between his two soft palms. Her hand on his chest. Wanting to keep her as close as possible, as if she'd even think about leaving. Their tongues sweeping against one another's passionately. They groaned when their bodies collided with the console between their seats that kept them from touching.

Softly giggling into another kiss, not breaking the oral embrace as Sebastian assisted her in gracefully climbing over to the passenger side so she was straddling his lap. She adjusted her body atop his—painfully torturing his already hardened desire while throwing her jacket in the backseat. His thumb caressed her hot cheek as he swept her hair out her face, never wanting the view to change. Wanting the angelic glow of her face to be the first and last thing branded in his memory. His stare radiating unexpected warmth down her body. He had to have known what he was stirring inside of her...

The way he looked at her, so lovingly and adoringly it felt unreal. No guy ever looked at her like she was their whole world. Sebastian knew of her past, her struggles and weaknesses and only tried his hardest to adore her scars all the same. He made her feel like more than herself.

She wasn't 'crazy Lizzie' or 'witch Lizzie' or 'the broken one' when with Sebastian. She was just her: a curious girl falling hard for an extraordinary guy.

Bending her head down Lizzie captured his lips again, instantly licking her tongue inside his mouth to deepen the already passionate kiss. Her arms securely wrapped around his neck while his were around her waist. Squeezing her denim covered hips delightfully while subtly grinding their hips into each other's. Both moaning and smiling against each other's lips shamelessly, as if they didn't have somewhere to be.

-Oh, right...

With a final but lasting peck, the young blonde reluctantly pulled away leaning her elbows on his shoulders. Rubbing her nose against his cutely before sighing in defeat.

"As tempting as indulging in more very public fornication is, we really need to get back on the road. We're already an hour behind the schedule I gave my parents and knowing Klaus, he's going to send out a hybrid search party if we're not there soon." She half joked.

Sebastian lazily grinned, kissing her lips one last time. "I suppose you're right. That would make a terrible first impression." He agreed, caressing her arms in hesitation.

There was another worry eating at him. While they were already being honest about everything, he felt no need to rep it to himself.

"What if he doesn't like me, or your mother and mortal father don't? What happens if your family doesn't approve of us being together, given that I am a few centuries older than you?" He somberly asked.

Lizzie's eyebrows furrowed.

She actually never gave much thought to the possibility of Sebastian not being approved by her parents. Caroline was usually the most open minded but Alaric and Klaus were a different story.

Alaric asked questions then dismissed while Klaus simply dismissed. The one thing the bickering men agreed on was the safety of the girls, including if they were old enough to start dating.

The worried expression broke as much as warmed Lizzie's heart. Sebastian was like an open book but mystery all at once; a complete contradiction. He never feared showing how he felt about her. Seeing him show how much he valued their relationship and afraid to lose all the progress they made.

She kissed him again, softly yet effectively. He could feel her reassurance in this one simple kiss, diminishing all his doubts and worries.

Pulling away with an infectious smile. "No matter what they think about you, it doesn't change anything. You can't get rid of me that easily." She claimed with teasing smile that matched his.

Her palm brushing over his sharp jaw calming his erratic nerves. There was a possibility this weekend could be a disaster, but what she knew for sure was how she felt about him and vice versa. Her family—not even Klaus—could take this happiness away from her.

Pecking her lips, cheek, and nose a few more times, causing the warmest blush and smile to appear, he nodded. "Alright. Then we should get back on the road to not waste anymore of our newfound courage."

Sebastian was puzzled when the blonde halted his attempt of helping her back into her seat. Brushing her pelvis against his suggestively and faces inches from each other's. He could practically taste her breath against his lips. His hands still secure on her hips, feeling like if he moved then any further they wouldn't be leaving this side of the road anytime soon.

"Elizabeth..."

"Hmm?" She hummed, brushing her fingers through his dark brown hair.

He smirked. "Didn't you say we should get going soon?"

The mischievous glint in her eye amused him immensely.

Lizzie innocently shrugged. "Mhm, soon as in not right this second. Soon as in, after indulging in a few more minutes of an impromptu make-out session with my hot boyfriend before I'm forced to pretend you've never seen me naked."

Sebastian's laugh was loud, genuine and contagious.

Their laughter only muffled by their lips meeting again in a passionate frenzy—neither one any rush to leave anytime soon.

#EEK!#sizzie #lizzie saltzman #sebastian #lizzie x sebastian #legacies #legaciesedit #my writing #klaroline

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speaker-sypha · 5 years

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“This is my history, our history, the history.”

“It began in a way you might not expect an apocalypse to begin. It began with love, several times over. In the beginning of mankind, Cain, son of Adam, and his brother Abel were asked to sacrifice to the Lord what they cherished most. Abel sacrificed a lamb from his flock. Cain sacrificed Abel. The Lord banished Cain for his sin, where he traveled alone until he met Lilith, the first wife of Adam, who taught him dark magic. The Lord returned to Cain with three angels, each offering Cain forgiveness, and Cain refused all three, because he couldn’t forgive himself. The angels cursed him with the three traits all vampires here share: weakness to sunlight, vulnerability to fire, and a thirst for blood. Cain became the progenitor, the first vampire.

“He traveled alone again for ages, until he learned from the Crone of Childer. After freeing himself from her, he found the city of the followers of Set, and they worshiped Cain. He changed a wife, and made a son--Enoch. They created more vampires, and the city prospered until the Great Flood, and many were destroyed. Cain, distraught, hid himself away for a time. When he emerged, he found his precious Childer in disarray, the younger generations surmounted against his precious second generation. He cursed his progeny, and declared he would one day return to wipe them from the earth. This is the prophecy of Gehenna, that Cain will return with the rise of the blood moon and the faces of the Antediluvians into the sky.

“Years turn to centuries, and presumably centuries to millennia. Then, love reenters the narrative. Vlad Dracula Tepes, feared vampire lord of Wallachia, meets Lisa--or rather, Lisa walks up to the front of his castle, bangs on the door with her knife, and requests to be taught science, for Dracula was also rumored to have older, lost knowledge of the world. Intrigued, Dracula agreed, and they fell in love, and beget a son, Alucard, a bridge between both of their worlds. Unfortunately, like Cain and Abel, it didn’t last. In 1475, Lisa was burned at the stake as a witch for practicing science as a doctor. Dracula declared war on humanity--by killing his love, in his view the only saving grace of humanity, they had proved humans did not deserve the earth, and thus he would wipe them from it. Alucard tried to stop him immediately, but was severely injured, and had to retreat-- ah, but I’m getting off topic. I’ll tell you the story of Dracula’s defeat another time.

“The substance is, that he was defeated, but it could not stop what he set in motion. By unleashing the powers of hell to scourge the earth, Dracula rose the blood moon, and thus started the events of Gehenna. Cain returned, and vampires began having visions of despair and agony and horror. Alucard was not exempt. But even so, we were not aware of the possibility of Gehenna until we, ah... ‘met’ Van Helsing, otherwise known as Raquel Belmont--Trevor’s cousin, who he didn’t know had also survived the massacre to his family. He was the chosen Belmont son to battle Cain on his return, and he had the Book of Nod, which gave us the prophecy of Gehenna. Cain would return, had returned already, and would consume his children. Quite literally. His city, the city of Enoch, was a floating fortress made of dead vampires. We saw it. It was--I don’t really have words for it.

“We traveled to the Camarilla, a council of vampires in Wallachia set on integrating with and living hidden among humans, to warn them. On the way, we stopped at Campulung to retrieve Leon Belmont’s bones, for fear that witch hunters were going to desecrate his grave. We actually awakened his ghost, and he joined us on our journey, after we killed one of the witchhunters that massacred Trevor’s family, who was sitting there bragging about it like he was the hero of some grand quest. It’s still horrifying to remember his story, and even more horrifying to remember how Trevor just-- ...Nevermind.

“Anyway, at the council we were joined by Ashei, a holy paladin from another plane posed as a priest. They sent us to Styria, to gain the favor of the Ventrue clan’s leader, Carmilla, who unfortunately wasn’t very... receptive. We fought her, and a fleshcrafter, but in the end we got what we really came there for--one of Dracula’s devil forgemasters, Hector, who Carmilla had taken as prisoner. We needed him to forge us a weapon of a holy soul. We also, somehow, got Van Helsing on our side--we were at odds with him, if you didn’t catch that earlier. He, uh... He doesn’t like Alucard. At all. Shot him I think three separate times with silver? Yeah. That...still needs to be addressed....

“So we got Raquel and Ashei and Hector, and began our journey to Cain. We returned to the Belmont estate. We traveled through Dracula’s mirror to the land of Eden with the help of another ancestor from a reflected world, Everette Belmont. We all made it through--Raquel was in rough shape by this time. I didn’t mention, but the way Raquel survived the fire that killed everyone else but Trevor was by making a deal with a devil that had been working its way down the Belmont line for generations. He tapped into that devil’s power before we went in, but it was hard for him to handle the enormous power of the devil.

“We made it to Eden, though, and after some searching we found the Tree of Life. There, at its roots, sat Enoch, the son of Cain. We requested passage to the land of Nod, where Cain dwelt, and he told us to prove to him that we had what it takes to stand up to his father, who he had tried and failed to stop before. Unfortunately, he didn’t think Trevor and I were up to snuff at first, so we had to fight him two on one... we changed his mind by the end of it, if I say so myself. He allowed us passage through a pool in front of the tree, but before we went in, Claudia Belmont emerged from the pool.

“The wife of Leon, and the daughter of angel--she was a nephilim, and the source of the divine blood that still runs through the Belmonts, into Raquel and into Trevor. She gifted some of her soul to Alucard, to protect him in the battle--otherwise, Cain would have been able to kill him easily and consume him. She also gave a part of her soul to Hector, to forge the weapon to kill Cain. Raquel provided an Elysium shard to be the shell, and Ashei gave a reliquary with the ability of banishment. Trevor gave holy water, and I gave a spell to-- okay. I’ll be honest. It was technically a love potion. It was what I had, alright? But Hector was going to have to convince Abel to help us defeat his brother, and love potions make people more... inclined to listen to what you have to say. I thought it couldn’t hurt.

“That said and done, Hector got Abel to agree to help and forged the weapon--a bullet? a bomb? It was a projectile, and it went inside Raquel’s massive cannon gun to be fired at the right moment. Then, we went into the pool, into the land of Nod.

“And then we met the drow. How in the world he found his way to the land of Nod, I haven’t asked yet. But he was there, and he had an airship, a literal ship that traveled through the air, and he helped us get up to the city of Enoch. Illikyur, his name, and Raquel introduced him as his brother. Haven’t gotten that story yet either.

“But we made it to the city of Enoch, and we made it to Cain. He was...sad. I don’t mean that as in unimpressive. Or perhaps that fits, at first. But he was so old, and so... dead. He started this new life alone, and he had been alone for ages, away from light and life, away from everything but this mausoleum of a city, wrapped like a blanket in his own self-loathing and hatred. He barely acknowledged us at first. It was until I spoke his name, and spoke to him in Adamic, in the language of his father, that something in him stirred.

“We talked for a bit, him and I. It was- It was... hard. After all this time, now that it was to the point, I’m not sure he even cared about ending his kind, ending the world. He was too deep in to drag himself out anymore. Or maybe he just couldn’t make himself take the rope. I- I feel like I got close, like I almost... almost convinced him that he could accept the forgiveness, and stop this. But eventually, he said no, that it was too late. I think it had progressed to far for him to stop, or maybe he still, after all this time, just couldn’t give up his hatred for what he had become. He said he couldn’t stop the end, but maybe we could.

“And then he transformed. It was almost too much to comprehend. Massive, and if there had been a sun, it would have been blocked out. Floating through the air like he was swimming, almost aquatic in nature, and covered in eyes and teeth. He fought us, and we fought back. We whittled him down, little by little, and he took chunks out of us. Alucard almost- ...but eventually, we got him down on his end dregs, and Raquel readied to shot. I’m not sure how much Raquel was in control by this point. The devil had overgrown his skin, encased him like a shell. It was a horrifying, terrific, and... odd sight. A devil and the burning son, held aloft by the angel Claudia, being forced in flashes into her true form, something magnificent and monstrous, as large as a mountain and completely incomprehensible... Held aloft by an angel, Raquel fired, and Cain died.

“He died, and Raquel, and all the other Belmonts trapped in the devil’s book, were freed. We went home, remembered our sacrifices, celebrated our victory, and slept until time became fuzzy. And we looked toward the future, free.”

“....”

“...wherever Cain is now, wherever his soul now resides, I hope- I hope he is at peace. I hope he and his brother are reunited, so his brother can forgive him in person, as he forgave him millennia ago. And I hope that maybe, Cain can accept that forgives, and move forward, together, also free.”

#long post #the full story ish #in a heavily condensed format #from start of blog to end of cain arc #save #about #My writing #@ the cain crew if i missed something hug or got something wrong tell me #writing things at 2am is a bad idea

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mister-lucky-bunny · 5 years

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Scooby Doo: Monster Menagerie Chpt. 9

Description: While part of Mystery Inc. goes to investigate a crime scene, Shaggy and Scooby stay behind to join the ghouls' history class.

Scooby Doo: Monster Menagerie

Chapter 9: A Meddlesome Group

The brightly colored van rumbled along the dirt road, the gray clouds above barely allowing any light to seep through. Thankfully, despite the dark woods, the Mystery Machine's headlights would allow Freddie the sight needed to be able to safely steer through the trees. After the call of a body being found, it wasn't long before the van was being filled up with it's passengers. Freddie drove, naturally, with Velma and Daphne taking their usual spots. Because of the fact that Shaggy and Scooby had to stay behind at the school because of contractual obligations, their spots in the back were filled in with Googie and the detective.

Googie wasn't thrilled with the aspect of sharing a van with a creepy homicide detective, sitting in a van so that she can go investigate a dead body. However, for whatever reason, the gang seemed to have eagerly brought her along, as if she had been part of the group. It was a nice gesture, for sure, even if personally, she didn't have much to add to their observations. What could she even say? 'Oh look, a dead body!' Observant. Still, her heart raced, the thought of being in the middle of a crime scene somewhat exhilarating. Not everyday someone could say they had the opportunity to be a part of it all.

"Something on your mind?" The gruff voice of the detective snapped Googie back into consciousness, her eyes quickly looking up. She shivered some, put-off by how intently he seemed to be studying her with his wide eyes.

The blonde nodded, shifting her short hair with a hand in an idle manner. "Yeah, I guess so. I just feel so..."

"Out of place?" He answered for her, raising an eyebrow. The girl responded with a nod, feeling more and more uncomfortable.

"I dunno why I am, though. I mean, I've met Dracula with Shaggy when... we were still together. It was a strange few days, and it was really frightening too. None of us knew if we were going to... escape him." She finished, unsure if she should reveal all aspects of the story to him just yet. By the way he narrowed his eyes at her, he knew that there was more that she wasn't telling him.

Rather than pry it out of her, though, he merely gave a small nod. "Hm. Amazing that you managed to meet up with Lord Dracula in the first place."

"Not that we had much of a choice..." Googie responded, trailing off some. She was still rather mad at the King of Monsters for kidnapping the four of them in the first place. If given the opportunity, though, she'd prefer to just stay as far away from him as possible, even if she found his daughter to be polite and a lot kinder than him. She knew that the detective would've thought otherwise, but before he could ask, someone thankfully got his mind onto something else.

"So what did the deputy tell you?" Velma asked aloud, turning her head to the two in the back, direction her question to the strange man. His eyes turned to her, his grin never leaving his face, as per usual.

"Not much. Just brought up the fact that someone had found a dead body. He had squad cars tape off the area and they're waiting for us to arrive."

"...they do know we're coming, right?" Daphne asked, raising an eyebrow.

His grin widened, giving a shrug with his shoulders. "Nope." Everyone seemed somewhat exasperated by this, either responding with a groan, a roll of the eyes, or both. This didn't seem to bother the detective, leaning back against his seat. "Oh relax. Not like they don't know who you all are. Infamous meddling kids and all that, y'know. I'll tell them y'all are with me and you'll be free to examine the scene." As he said this, he reached into his tote-bag and pulled out plastic gloves, starting to hand everyone a pair. "That being said, take these. If you have to handle everything, make sure it's as delicate as possible."

Velma examined the gloves as the others held onto the gloves, Freddie quickly pocketing his pair before returning to the road. It was strange to think that a man as weird as the detective was still very competent about his work. After a few minutes, Freddie managed to drive the van free of the woods, headed back onto concrete roads. "I think I remember seeing a graveyard on the way in this town. It was near the entrance, right?" He asked aloud.

"That's right. For what reason, I'm not sure," Velma mused, adjusting her glasses again as they moved towards their destination. "Maybe it has something to do with deterring outsiders."

"I think that's exactly it," Googie answered, turning to the brunette. "Louisiana's known for having haunted cities and towns and other places, so putting their graveyard near the entrance would probably keep any unwanted guests out. Would probably explain why this town hasn't changed much from the time I've lived here..." Googie thought aloud. The detective concurred silently with a nod.

"With extra police activity around there, there's bound to be a crowd this time around," Freddie said, turning down the road near the entrance. "Might be hard to get past anyone." Sure enough, when the Mystery Machine got closer to the scene of the crime, multiple police cars were surrounding the graveyard, not allowing anyone through. There was a line of news vans trying to get the story on the ordeal, but they weren't being allowed in. When the multicolored van pulled in and parked, it was only a matter of time before a disgruntled officer went up to the driver's side, looking less than pleased by the constant interruptions.

Freddie rolled down the window, feeling a bit nervous about the whole thing. Without waiting for any greeting, the officer began ranting on the group. "What're y'all doin' around here? This is police work, an' we don't need any meddling kids stickin' their noses around where they ain't supposed to be!" The blond gulped, unsure of how to respond. The officer was technically right, and they had no real business being around here, even if they all wanted nothing more than to investigate. Thankfully, their saving grace came from a certain freaky passenger, who had just opened up the back of the van and climbed out. The detective quickly made his way to the officer, who froze and took a few steps back from the intimidating, limping figure.

With a quick flash of his hand, he had pulled out his ID, flashed it to the officer for half of a second before folding it back up, putting it away. "They're with me," He stated simply. With a look that could only be described as a grimace, the officer nodded and stepped away, heading towards the other squad cars. The detective looked to Freddie and flashed a wide smile. "C'mon, let's go."

Wasting no time, the other four left the Mystery Machine and followed the perpetually smiling man past the yellow police tape. Naturally, the other officers shared a displeased look to the group, but allowed them to continue in nonetheless. The only other vehicle that was past the police tape was an ambulance, a couple of EMTs waiting nearby. In an instant, the detective snapped on his gloves, making his way to the EMTs, eyes scanning over the nearby area. "Watch your step," He warned the group before moving in. Mystery Inc soon gasped upon the sight.

It was certainly a dead body, although the shape of it was quite nasty. Laying in a small pool of blood was the remains of man, clothes burned and shredded beyond repair. Numerous gashes covered his body, and any hair that was on his head was stringy and smoking lightly. The detective bent to his knee, eyes scanning the immediate area of the body, a gloved hand gently feeling over the gashes, despite the odd looks given from the first responders. With a quick glance upwards, he cocked an eyebrow, waiting for some sort of status report.

The other investigators remained behind, Velma starting to pull her gloves on. "While he's dealing with the body, let's look around." With a nod, the others started to hesitantly do the same, splitting off individually to look around. They also made sure to avoid looking towards the body, as it was much to off-putting to view.

_________________________________________________

Shaggy was quite thankful that he had to stay behind at the school with Scooby. While he would've liked to have joined his friends in their investigation, there was no doubt that looking at a dead body would make him a nervous wreck. Not only that, but what if whatever caused the murder was still around? He silently thanked Miss Grimwood's contract for making him stay on the property until his term was up.

Of course, his students, on the other hand, were less happy that they had to stay behind. Miss Grimwood wouldn't allow the ghouls to follow for the simple fact being that they still had a class to attend to. Phantasma was especially bummed out, crossing her arms and looking quite pouty upon being denied the opportunity to look at a dead body. "No fair..." She had huffed. Miss Grimwood made sure to keep an extra close eye on her as they filed back into the laboratory for their final lesson. She allowed Shaggy and Scooby the opportunity to join in with their class so they wouldn't be bored waiting for the others to return.

Despite the disappointment, the ghouls sat in their seats and awaited their lesson, Shaggy and Scooby deciding to stand in the back and observe. After all, neither one of them had gotten the chance to actually see what monster history was like. It was bound to be interesting, if a little creepy. Thankfully, the ghouls' moods would be brought up a tad with the subject that their teacher was going to bring up: demons.

In the past, the ghouls had been told about them, but never in great detail. This could most likely be due to the fact of their witch problem with Revolta so many years ago. The headmistress took a great deal of care to not delve deeply into the subject, with the previous event still fresh on their minds. To Miss Grimwood, teaching something like this in the first place would be much too jarring. However, she soon began to realize that her lovely ghouls were growing up, and it would only be a matter of time before they began to learn about this subject on their own. It was best for them to learn it from their teacher first hand, rather than doing it on their own and risk being a part of something incredibly dangerous. Besides, she needed something interesting to tell them, otherwise they'd lose any interest in this class period in favor of helping out with the murder.

It wasn't long before everyone in the classroom was intently listening, eyes wide open as she told them the history of summoning rituals, curses brought upon by them, and other dark magic that demons tend to be associated with. The tales of horrifying things that have happened in such situations. Hundreds dead. Thousands dead. Followers blindly following as if they were sheep, letting their minds soak in the manifestos of one single demonic entity.

"Of course, demons do not always rely on magic to get their point across. In fact, more often than not, they rely on other beings, both immortal and mortal, to carry out their dirty work. Humans are just as capable of doing such gruesome things, even without magic that many monsters rely on." Her students' eyes were still keeping their attention on her, too interested and taken back with her stories to even record any of this down. "As I've stated before, most of the times whenever a demon 'chooses' a human servant, the human gains amazing, dangerous magical abilities. Can anyone tell me what they're then called?" Her attention moved over to Elsa, who had her hand raised with Tanis and Sibella. She pointed a finger to her, allowing her to answer.

"Warlocks or witches, depending on who is chosen," Elsa answered.

"That's correct, Elsa," Miss Grimwood replied, smiling gently. Her face looked serious once more as she continued her lesson. "While I know it's not a topic any one of us like to bring up again, I'm sure we all remember our last encounters of an evil witch." Her eyes turned to Shaggy's, who shivered and gulped in response, having a clue as to where this was going to lead. From the looks on the ghouls' faces, they did too. "Especially you, Coach Rogers."

With that, the others turned their gaze to their Coach, gulping as he stood there, feeling as though he were put on the spot rather suddenly. With an uncomfortable look on his face, he scratched the back of his head as he looked to Scooby, returning the look back up at him. "...yeah," Was all he could manage to say. Shaggy just felt grateful that he didn't have to deal with Revolta again. He knew that everyone else was too.

Miss Grimwood gave a small nod, continuing her lesson. "I want to thank you two again for helping the girls out. Not every day that a regular mortal can get away with successfully dealing with a witch," She replied. In Shaggy's mind, he didn't think much of the rescue. After all, while he did go after the girls, it's not like he had much of a hand in stopping the witch. It was the ghouls who managed to actually defeat her. Before he could stammer out any sort of modest statement, Miss Grimwood continued on. "That is why I am here to tell you to never ever, under no circumstances, summon any sort of demonic entity. Don't go near one if you see one. Do not even consider it," Her voice became firm, making sure to look into each ghouls' eyes. "The consequences are quite dire, as you all have just now learned. Powers that go far beyond both humans and monsters alike are to be left alone." She turned to her blackboard, beginning to draw on it. She drew what looked like the cover of a book, the only symbol on it being a pentagram. She turned back to her students. "Does anyone know the name of the dreaded book of demonic and undead evil?"

For a little, everyone stayed quiet, unsure if they should even speak up. Slowly, the small bandaged hand of Tanis arose, shaking a little. Miss Grimwood pointed at her, looking at her expectantly. "...the Necronomicon?" Miss Grimwood gave a small smile, nodding and returning to the blackboard.

"Correct, Tanis. The Necronomicon is a feared tome, never to be brought into the hands of any mortal. Even immortals are frightened of what this book may bring." She raised an eyebrow, looking around once more. "That does not mean they haven't tried to harness their power. With no success, I must add." She raised her hand to the picture she drew behind her. "This book, is often known as the Demonologist's Bible, and in it tells of every Hellish demon, devil, thrall, curse, ritual, and any other dark magic you could think of. It is just as revered as the Necronomicon, even if it does not possess the power to instruct others on such spellwork. Such Satanic knowledge is forbidden in the monster realm, as I'm sure you're all aware at this point."

With a silent nod from everyone, the headmistress continued on. "Unlike the Necronomicon, however, there are multiple copies, although not many. Only the most powerful of monsters are allowed to keep a copy on hand, and only for emergencies."

"Like, I'd hate to see what would happen if a human were to get a hold of that book..." Shaggy muttered to himself. This caught the attention of Miss Grimwood, a grave, yet apologetic look on her face. He flinched, apparently having been heard by her, since she decided to answer.

"If this book were to fall into the hands of a mere mortal... well, it'd be safe to say that they'd most likely lose their minds." Another gulp came from Shaggy, who looked like he was about to slump down the walls and faint. Scooby looked no better, laying low to the ground, barely peeking out from behind his lanky friend. The atmosphere was slightly lifted as Miss Grimwood put on her usual, optimistic tone as she turned back towards the blackboard. "I do hope you've all learned something valuable today. We'll go over a bit more tomorrow, going over the types of demons that are safe you all to learn about. Class dismissed."

The girls slowly gathered up their stuff, not saying a whole lot to each other as they left the laboratory. Miss Grimwood made her way over to the shaking duo, leaning in so she could whisper to him. "I do apologize if my lesson got a bit too... dark. It must be taught, though. Now, perhaps you might be able to help lift their spirits, Coach?" Shaggy looked towards the group of ghouls as they walked back into the main room, most likely headed to their bedrooms. With a quick glance back at the headmistress, he gave a small nod.

In an instant, Shaggy began to quickly run up the stairs, Scooby peering over and soon following. As they all started to part ways, Shaggy cleared his throat loudly, wanting their attention. The sudden noise of their Coach made them jump some, though looked at him, a little confused. With a nervous smile, he addressed the group. "Hey girls, like, how about a quick lesson before dinner tonight? Like, it could do us all some good to get a bit of training in." The ghouls looked to each other, a few raising eyebrows. Shaggy began to sweat. Did he have bad timing? Maybe an extra class wasn't what they needed. He sure hoped he didn't offend them.

"I think it sounds fang-tastic," Purred the voice of Sibella, sporting a relieved fanged smile. After a very dreary (even for monsters) lesson, she knew some physical education was something that could help get their minds off of it.

Shaggy's head lifted up in surprise, Winnie's voice soon following. "Yeah, sounds like a howl!" She replied, adding in her own rather loud howl for good measure.

"I'm game for more training," Elsa added, smiling a bit more.

"Oh! Me too, me too!" Phanty cut in, floating around in an energetic manner.

"Sounds like fun to me!" Tanis replied, her bright blue eyes twinkling as she beamed at her coach.

Shaggy nodded and smiled brightly. "Like, great! Meet me outside as soon as you can." With a unanimous 'yes coach!', the girls hurried off to put their books away. The lanky man let out a relieved sigh, laughing as he turned to Scooby. "Like, that was a close one, eh Scoob? I thought they were gonna be like, offended or something."

Scooby shook his head, following his friend outside. "Ruh-uh! They rike you too ruch."

At this, Shaggy chuckled and shrugged. "Like, hey, I'm not that great, y'know."

Scooby rolled his eyes, an amused smirk forming on his muzzle. "Too rodest, Raggy..."

___________________________________________________

Googie glanced around her side of the crime scene, hands in her jacket pockets. She had put her gloves on earlier, but hadn't had any real reason to pick anything up. Her eyes were glued to the ground, somewhat. All she could really see was a bunch of grass and dirt. Nothing out of the ordinary. From what she could hear from the detective, the dead body had apparently been attacked numerous times by something, but had also suffered from third degree burns in certain areas. A quick glance to the others saw that they were hard at work, making sure to examine everything around them.

As for the strawberry blond, she sighed and leaned against a gravestone, feeling even more secluded from the others. She didn't even know where to begin looking, and had only gone off in this direction because it was the only spot no one else was. Her eyes casually scanned the area around her, as if something would jump out at her.

Strangely, that was actually the case. On the gravestone she was leaning against were flecks of something dark. Her eyes widened and she stood straight up, looking around the whole stone. Sure enough, there was a bit of a splatter of what was most likely blood. Her heart raced, feeling quite excited upon finding a clue. Googie couldn't help but let a small smile start to grow as she turned to the others. "Hey guys, I think I found a clue!" In no time, Velma, Freddie, and Daphne had abandoned their current search and moved towards Googie. The detective glanced her way, but was a bit slower. He had to finish up whatever he was doing, apparently.

Still, that did little to deter her pride as she pointed towards the gravestone. "I think there's some blood from whatever attacked that guy," She explained, letting them all take a closer look.

"Jinkies... from the looks of it, it must've come from a bullet wound or something..." Velma thought, being careful not to touch any of the blood with her fingers.

"You'd be correct," Came the voice of the detective, who had silently gotten behind the group, making them jump and yelp. "There was a gun found at the scene," He continued, holding up an evidence bag with the handgun in it. "No bullets, from the looks of it."

As the detective bent down to scrape some blood into a different container, the rest looked around the gravestone. "There's gotta be something else around here..." Daphne said, keeping her eyes to the ground with the others.

"Look! I think there's something there," Freddie said, pointing to a small pile, a short distance away. The investigators hurried over, slowing down once they saw. It was a pile of what looked like ash, two footprints indented into the ground below. From the looks of it, whatever it was had very sharp talons or claws. The foot falls looked heavy and even seemed to push down some grass for awhile.

"Does anyone else smell that?" Daphne said, sniffing the air. The others soon joined in.

"Hey yeah... smells like... sulfur or something." Freddie replied, his face scrunched up from the foul smell.

It didn't take long for the detective to start sketching out the footprints in his notepad, also taking notice of the stench around them. "Hm... this is quite peculiar." He muttered, quickly getting to his feet.

Velma thought to herself, a hand placed on her chin. More often then not, these kinds of cases turned out to be people disguising themselves as monsters or other types of creatures. As far as she can remember, this was probably the first time she or any of her friends had witnessed one of these types of crimes that lead to the death of innocent bystanders. As the detective collected some of the ash, she couldn't help but wonder something. Was a human even behind this? Her logic wanted to say yes, but evidence of the existence of supernatural, immortal beings were real. Heck, she just came from a school full of them! It could have been possible this was the doing of something else...

After the detective pushed the evidence into his bag, he began to go deep into thought too, covering his wide mouth with his hand, eyes owlishly blinking from time to time. While the others had expected him to start explaining stuff, he remained silent. His eyes did look over to each of them, an eyebrow raised as if saying, 'what do you think?'

Daphne began the conversation, looking between everyone with a nervous gaze. "Do you think that room we found earlier might be related?"

"I hope not. If it is, then something sinister is going on..." Googie replied, shuddering a little. "I didn't like the look of that circle we saw."

"Me either, but from our past mysteries, we know by now that these are not coincidences," Velma replied, looking up at the group.

"Whatever's doing this, we know this is the second attack," Freddie continued, turning his attention to the thinking detective. "Was the other one like this?"

The man nodded, removing his hand and sighing through his nose. "Just about. Only difference is this one tried to defend himself using a handgun."

"...what about Sibella's dreams?" Velma suddenly asked aloud, getting everyone's attention. "I think it's gotta be too much of a coincidence that she would have dreams like that, especially after all we've recently discovered."

Freddie rubbed his chin in concentration, a worried look going over his eyes. "Gang, I hate to say it, but... what if everything that we know so far is related to something..." He froze up a little, unsure if he should even say it, out of fear for if it was really true or not.

"Satanic." The detective finished, giving a grave look to everyone. He hadn't removed his hand from his mouth, so it looked quite spooky. Googie, in particular, was getting a few chills up her spine.

"Be careful what you say..!" She hissed, looking around in a hurried manner. "Folks around these parts aren't keen on anything relating to... that." She was one of these locals, finding it to be a sort of jinx. The more one talks about a curse, the more likely it is to happen to them, she felt.

"She's right," Freddie continued, nodding beside her. "At any rate, I think we've found just about everything we could. I didn't have any luck over at the area I was."

The detective nodded, finally pulling his hand away from his mouth. It didn't comfort the others that he was sporting the widest grin they had probably ever seen him have. "We can go over this more back at the school. I'll meet y'all at the van, I just gotta run this evidence by the officers first." Without another word, he turned and moved towards the yellow tape. Mystery Inc. watched him for a little before turning their attention towards the EMTs, who had just finished loading in the corpse in a body bag.

"This is already getting too dangerous for me," Googie complained, looking around a bit more, as if whatever attacked the body would jump out and go after the group at any moment.

"This definitely isn't looking too bright so far, but at least we're gaining some sort of lead. Even if it is quite... gruesome," Velma added, fixing her glasses.

"Jeepers... do you really think that secret room might be connected to all of this?" Daphne asked.

Velma responded with a small nod, as well as a bit of a shrug. "Perhaps. If we're lucky we'll have enough time to get more answers before something else happens to us."

Googie gulped and leaned towards the nearest tree, making sure to hit her fist against the trunk three times. Freddie and Daphne shared a confused look, while Velma looked quite intrigued. "Superstitious, I take it?" She asked, doing everything she could to not make her question sound condescending, and rather make it sound more curious. The strawberry blonde nodded at her.

"Can't ever be too sure. It'd do us some good to have a little amount of luck on our end." In that moment, Freddie lead the group back to the Mystery Machine, taking a glance at the detective talk to the cops. To him, the officers didn't look very pleased.

It wouldn't be much longer before the detective joined the rest of the gang in the van, situating himself in the back as Freddie started up the engine and began to head back to Grimwood's. "So what were you talking about?" Daphne asked, turning her attention to the man in back.

"They weren't too keen on letting me go back to the school. They preferred me to stay and do my work in a 'professional' work environment," He replied, removing his hands from his hoodie pockets to do air quote before shoving them back in. Despite how peeved his voice sounded, his face never changed emotions from haunting amusement.

To the others, that wasn't much of a surprise for the others to think that, but if the look of his office was anything to go by, it was hard to pin-point what exactly would be a 'professional' environment for the creepy cryptid hunter. At any rate, as much as they didn't want to admit it, having the detective around helped clear a bunch of things up. Now that they had substantial evidence to help lead their case in something resulting in a direction, they were bound to come up with an answer for these attacks. Now if only he'd stop grinning like that...

____________________________________________________________

Despite the fact that they gray clouds above were growing darker with each passing minute, there would still be various activities happening outside. Most noticeably, a class of five ghoul girls would be having a great time learning from a human coach and his dog. Their shrieking laughs and howls and grunts echoing out into the growing dusk. From the looks and sounds of it, he was teaching them all various moves and techniques that would help them with their volleyball game. The girls were also quickly picking up these techniques, learning to hone their natural abilities.

Of course, this was picked up by a small group of boys, hanging around around the hedge that bordered from Grimwood's to the only school within a few miles: Calloway's. These boys would also be the only other group of students that were out and about. While the girls were allowed, however, the boys had to sneak their way out. Of course, they knew that if the Colonel caught them, he'd merely send them back inside with no further punishment. Despite this, the tallest of the group, Jamal, wasn't too keen on getting in trouble, shaking his head as he watched the others 'set up base'.

"Guys, c'mon. It's late and we have duties to attend to. Colonel isn't going to appreciate us shirking our work, especially now that we have responsibilities." He reasoned, watching the others expertly fumble with a needlessly complicated machine that looked like a mix between a laptop, a drone, and a periscope. Tug looked through the scope of the periscope part while Miguel did surveillance with Baxter on the computer, Grunt making sure that the whole thing didn't come crashing down on top of them and keeping it held up.

Without so much as giving a side glance, Tug's replied to his comrade. "Jamal, relax. The worst the Colonel will do is yell at us and have us go back to help the new recruits. Besides, this is an important espionage mission."

"Yeah..! Now come on, Jamal, help me keep this thing up!" Grunt groaned out, seeming to have a bit of trouble keeping the massive metal contraption up. With a roll of his eyes, Jamal moved over to the other side and kept it balanced.

"Important espionage... what else could we possibly learn? We've seen just about all we can these past few years. It's not like we're going to learn anything new," Jamal grunted out.

"I beg to differ, Jamal. From the looks of it, the Grimwood Girls aren't the only familiar faces out there," Miguel observed through the computer screen..

"The Colonel? I thought he said he wouldn't be returning to Grimwood's this year?" Baxter speculated, scratching his head a little bit in confusion.

"Affirmative, Baxter. However, it seems Miss Grimwood didn't have to hire any new faces," Tug continued, zooming his periscope on the face of Shaggy, who was saying something to the girls. At this point, it seems they were all taking a small break. As the periscope zoomed in on Scooby, Baxter spoke up.

"Hey, isn't that that weird beatnik guy and his dog who managed to have the girls beat us that one year?" Baxter spoke up, pointing to the screen.

"Affirmative," Tug answered, pulling back to rub his chin in thought.

"He's back?" Grunt said in disbelief, almost losing his footing for a second. He thankfully caught himself, shaking his head. "Wait, weren't there two dogs he had with him?"

"Yeah, what happened to the other one?" Jamal asked to the group. A few seconds went by with everyone sharing a puzzled shrug.

"Whatever the case is, this can't be good for our winning streak," Tug mused, turning his gaze back to the periscope and looking around.

"If we lose again, I don't think the Colonel's going to be pleased about losing to the same guy who lead the girls to victory last- Tug, will you go back to the mission at hand!" Miguel cut himself off to chide Tug, who quickly peered the view away from a certain purple skinned young woman.

"Alright, jeez!" Tug groused, almost being able to hear the others roll their eyes. "Besides, it's not like you wouldn't have done the same," He muttered, zooming out so that the whole group was visible.

"Anyways, are you able to make out what they're saying?" Jamal pondered, peering over to the two overlooking the computer screen.

"Not quite yet, but it shouldn't take long to decipher their lips." Miguel shared a cheeky look with Baxter. "...unless Tug wants to key us in on what Sibella is saying, that is." A small round of laughter was shared with all but the blond in question, huffing and feeling his cheeks redden a little bit, not removing his gaze from the periscope, despite how much he wanted to glare at his fellow cadets. Suddenly, something caught his attention that made him raise a hand.

"Hang on, something is happening." With that, the others stopped laughing and returned to business.

"Whatcha see, Tug?" Grunt asked, leaning his body as if to try and look at the screen, though with no such luck.

"Woah..! Their Coach just... fell over!"

The others shared a confused look. "...what, did he trip?" Jamal asked, somewhat worried.

"No, just... on his own," Tug replied, looking away from the periscope.

_____________________________________________________

"Raggy!" Scooby shouted, quickly going over to his best friend's side, the girls quickly joining him.

"Coach! Oh man, what the hell happened?!" Winnie yelped, looking over the unconscious body of Shaggy. From what they experienced, he was in the middle of telling them about what they should all work on, in terms of weaknesses when he just suddenly... fell over. He stopped talking beforehand, yes, but it was in the middle of a sentence. He wavered on the spot before falling backwards.

"Oh god! Oh no no no no! Coach wake up! Wakeupwakeupwakeupwakeup!" Phanty shrieked loudly, having grabbed a hold of Shaggy's shirt, starting to shake his body to wake him up. It had no effect, despite how loud she was being. The phantom was quickly pushed off of the coach by Sibella, giving a small glare to the girl.

"That's not going to work, it seems, Phanty. Besides, even if it, he'd just end up with a worse headache. He did land on his head pretty hard..." Sibella said, a delicate hand gently moving under his bangs and rubbing over his forehead. As she did, the large rough hand of Elsa reached down towards his neck, checking for a pulse. After a few seconds, she sighed and lifted her hand up, nodding.

"He's stable, but still, what caused him to black out like that? It's really unusual," She stated, watching as Scooby tried to lick at his face while Tanis gently shook him by his chest, looking her best to not sniffle.

"Coach..? Wake up, please..?" She tried, already looking like she'd break down. The little mummy did not want to see her Coach in this state, and she knew no one else would either. Elsa looked to her smaller friend in a worried manner, giving a comforting pat on her shoulder. Tanis peered up nervously between the others. "What should we do?"

"I dunno, but we'd better think of something fast!" Winnie said, pushing her head against his chest, making sure he was still breathing. Fortunately, he was, but the others agreed with her.

"I just wonder what knocked him out like this," Elsa said thoughtfully, looking over his body. Aside from some dirt scuffed onto his clothes from his training session, there wasn't a mark on him.

"More importantly, we gotta find a way to get him up and running again, or else the others will have our butts!" Phantasma suggested, floating around in place in an almost panicked manner.

"She has a point," Sibella said, doing her best to be the calm voice of reason among her friends. "It would not be nice for the others to see Shaggy in such a state." After a bit of thinking, Scooby suddenly snapped his fingers, an idea occurring to him. In an instant, he'd run back inside the school, leaving behind a cloud of dust.

The others were confused, not wanting to leave their Coach's side, but also curious as to what the Great Dane was going to do. They wouldn't have to wait long, though, as Scooby soon ran back out, a box in his mouth. Before any of the girls could ask what it contained, he set it down, reached in, grabbed a handful of whatever was inside, forced Shaggy's mouth opened, and stuffed the items down into his mouth. It took a few seconds, as he remained still on the ground, his mouth barely moving. Soon, though, he seemed to chew in a slow manner before swallowing the entire mouthful, eyes shooting open. Shaggy quickly sat up, groaning and gripping his forehead.

"Guh... like, what happened? I just suddenly passed out- d'oof!" He grunted, being cut off by the literal dog-pile. Scooby and Winnie had taken to hugging him tightly.

"Raggy! Ryou're awake!" Scooby barked excitedly.

The others were quite happy about this too, giving a sigh of relief, trying to peel the two off of him, which proved to be quite difficult. "Now now, give him room to stand," Sibella said gently, using a hand to effortlessly lift him back on his feet.

"Thought we lost ya for a second, Coach," Winnie said, peering up at him. Soon, Elsa seemed to idly look over Shaggy's body, looking for anything unusual. All she saw, thankfully, was a bump on the back of his head from where he fell. At this point, Tanis had taken to clinging to his waist, also peeking up at him with her large blue eyes.

"Glad to see you're awake! Please don't do that to us again..." Tanis said, receiving a small return hug from the taller man.

"Like, sorry girls. Don't know what came over me. One minute I'm fine, the next I'm like, on the ground!" He replied, looking between everyone. "Now, how about we return to, like, what we were doing? I think we still got a few minutes before dinner." Despite the fact that he had fainted, he still looked just as eager as ever to help out the others, acting as though he never even fell.

Everyone shared an odd look, unsure if they should even continue. "Erm... Coach? Are you sure we should continue?" Sibella began, tilting her head some. "That was a nasty fall you took."

"And it was out of the blue, too! Who knows when it'll happen again! You might fall on a rock and crack your skull! Or worse, fall in the moat and drown! Or fall in the moat and crack your skull on a rock before drowning!" Phanty rambled, staring to hyperventilate. At that moment, Scooby reached up and handed the phantom a paper bag that he had on him (for some reason). In return, she quickly grabbed it and began to breathe heavily into it.

Shaggy looked between everyone, his smile fading just a tad as Elsa looked to him. "It doesn't look like you've sustained any serious injuries. Still, I'd recommend not continuing on with the extra lesson. Sorry, Coach," She added in the end, feeling a tad disappointed in having to agree with the others. Extra physical training was quite enjoyable, but only if it wouldn't lead to anyone getting injured.

Winnie wasn't up for cutting physical education early either, but the health of everyone else came first. She knew everyone else thought the same thing. "There's always tomorrow! You'll feel better by then," the werewolf added, starting to lead him back into the castle. The others were following close behind, so Shaggy didn't have much of a say in this. Even Scooby seemed to nod, sticking close to his side with the others.

"Rit's for the rest, Raggy," He barked at him, making the lanky man sigh and shrug a bit.

"Like, I guess if you girls say so..." He replied, resigning to letting everyone pull him back indoors. At least he'd be on time for dinner. As they walked, Phanty floated beside Scooby, who was carrying the box in his mouth.

"Hey, Scooby, what was that?" She asked curiously.

The dog pulled the box out of his mouth with one paw, holding it up for the ghost girl to see. "Rooby Rax!"

The phantom sported a grin, raising a piqued eyebrow. "Scooby Snax? Wait... does that say 'dog treats' on it? Weird..."

"It's not any weirder from what we eat in the school," Elsa responded, turning to the others as Shaggy laughed shyly, seeming somewhat embarrassed.

"Perhaps, but isn't it still a bit... strange for a human to eat something like that?" Sibella mused, a hand on her chin as she eyed the taller man over. He seemed to have an iron stomach, so to speak.

"You're awfully weird, Coach," Winnie said, not hesitating as she unabashedly reached into the box, curiously taking a couple and nibbling on them. From the way her tail wagged, it was safe to say she liked them.

"B-but that's okay! Weird is good," Tanis replied, hoping that they weren't offending their dear coach with their comments. "Don't try to spoil your appetite, though. Dinner is almost ready," The mummy continued on.

At this, Shaggy smiled down to the small mummy and laughed a bit. "Like, don't worry about my appetite, Tanis. I've never met a meal I couldn't eat." With this, everyone shared a small laugh with him. Despite this, Sibella couldn't help but look him over from where she stood, feeling somewhat concerned.

While he was walking around just fine now, it was still quite worrying just how he ended up like that. Did this relate to what the girls learned earlier in class? It couldn't have, right? Then again, with how strange her dreams have been, it just may. A second thought occurred to her: maybe this had something to do with whatever happened between him and her father? While she didn't know the story just yet, it was still worth bringing up. Perhaps during dinner, she thought. The vampire wanted answers to everything going on, and it was best to start somewhere that she knew her coach could actually answer. If the dreams persisted, she'd let the others know, certainly.

Until then, she had to keep an eye out for Shaggy. After all, Sibella felt as though he's already done so much for the ghouls. She wanted to return the favor.

____________________________________________________

"...now they're leading him back inside the castle," Tug reported to the others as Baxter made sure to record everything.

"That was really weird..." Miguel said, scratching his head as he turned his attention away from the screen.

"Tell me about it. Who eats dog food?" Grunt said, looking a bit disgusted.

"I wasn't talking about the dog food, Grunt," Miguel sighed, pinching the bridge of his nose.

Tug had pulled himself away as well, starting to stand. "Whatever it was, they seemed to have it under control. He probably just fell ill. Or locked his knees while he was talking," He mused. The other cadets nodded along with him. They all knew too well the dangers of doing such an action while standing, as they all fell victim to it at least once.

"At any rate, I'd say we get back to the school before the Colonel catches us," Baxter said, pointing his finger back towards the building. With a nod, Tug stepped away from the contraption, Miguel doing the same. Grunt and Jamal began to gently and slowly retract the invention, making look about as big as a small book once they finished folding it up. With his foot, Jamal shoved it back into the hedges, unseen from anyone else. It would definitely be best to question these events on their own time before the Colonel lost their cool in front of them. Again.

#scooby doo monster menagerie #scooby doo #fanfiction #scooby doo fanfiction #dylan writes #iunno

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courage-a-word-of-justice · 6 years

Text

The debuts for the winter season keep coming, but we’re almost at the end of them with this post.

Cardcaptor Sakura: Clear Card 1

Note I don’t have any prior experience with Cardcaptor Sakura aside from 1 volume of manga and watching the show in passing while other people were watching it, plus knowing about a few spoilers and the show’s reputation as a seminal magical show show…then in more recent days, I finished 2 episodes of it (in fact as of the day I’m typing this, I finished episide 2 today!).

This OP makes Sakura look like later-stage Sailor Moon, and I think that’s the point.

Where did the bear in Syaoran’s hand go when Sakura hugged him?

Eriol! I don’t really know much about him, and I knew I should’ve known about him before starting this, but…it was a bit of a shock to see a character I technically haven’t seen the debut of with my own eyes.

I get the feeling these are the “two bears” from the prologue OVA…

Emails! In the world of Cardcaptor Sakura! Wow, I feel old…and I didn’t even grow up with her.

Hot dang! Gimme dat bishie (Yue)! I knew he was coming, but…I still don’t really know how he came to be!

Wow, this Yamazaki kid spouts such rubbish! I’m looking forward to seeing him in the main series now.

It’s pretty obvious I need to watch the original before understanding this fully, so I’m putting it on hold.

Gakuen Babysitters 1

I’m here for my Ume and Nishiyama. I’m not particularly good at dealing with kids, especially younger kids, but this doesn’t make me run for the hills either.

Ryuichi involves the kanji for “dragon” and Kotaro has the kanji for “tiger”.

That man with the hat is so not sketchy…

I’ve never heard of NAS before (but I have heard of NAZ through Idolish7).

That joke Saikawa told actually worked! These shows may all be middling this winter, but I’d be happy with even some of them on my docket. I’ve been pleasantly surprised more often than not that I haven’t found “stinker of the season” yet.

The comedy for this show’s really on point, although the overall design is a tad lackluster.

K-Kamitani?! Apparently Ume-chan’s character is Hayato Kamitani, so that’s how Ume got involved, so to speak. This sudden intro of 4 kids works on a story scale, but not in a way any person can process without pausing the video (or getting individual intros later).

Well, there are those individual intros I was asking for. Spoke too soon.

It’s actually kinda sad and quite telling how independent Kotaro is. (I still find it extremely hilarous Nishiyama – whose first name is Kotaro - didn’t voice Kotaro, although from a practical standpoint I understand why.)

Usaida has such bedroom eyes, it’s hard to ignore (because they make him look like En)! Dangit, I want my En back!

This brings back memories. My mum used to deal with kids all the time, and of course I was in the background for some of the shenanigans.

Dragon puppet symbolism, eh? (see the dotpoint a bit back about Ryuichi’s name)

As soon as this guy (who kinda looks like something out of Haikyuu) started demanding Taka come with him, I screamed. That character doesn’t seem very Ume, but…uh, it’s Ume. Gotta deal with it. Now that I listen to their voices properly though, Ume does have a “big bro” voice and Nishiyama a “earnest young man” voice.

Oh dear. Taka’s imprinted on me already, and I don’t even like boys that age.

I haven’t felt a genuine sense of danger from any of these winter shows until this one, so it seems like it’s one of the strongest debuts. Then again, CCS was my frontrunner before this and YuruCamp the second best, so I guess I can’t talk, eh?

Gah, I feel like I wanna cry now. That is a strong premiere!

I have a real problem with how anime tears come out in globs. Then again, I’m too much of a crybaby, as my notes can attest…so I guess no arguing here.

Should it be “Chairman” or “Chairwoman”???

Tsundere grandma. Now there’s something I thought I’d never think in my life…

Oh, I didn’t realise earlier but Taka = “hawk” and Hayato = “falcon man”. Animal jingoism at its finest!

Whoo, that was a real nice debut. I thought I was too old for this stuff, but it’s a keeper!

Idolish7 3

It’s a good thing I chose to cover episodes 1 – 2 so I won’t have to do them now.

I didn’t notice Nagi getting all huggy there with everyone in range (the first time, at least).

In case you don’t know from all the other idol shows, the centre is the one in centre stage. They’re often seen as the leader, so it’s a very important position.

This song can’t be anything but Monster Generation! Woohoo!

Wow, I haven’t seen one of those “watch from a distance” things in a while. Makes me nostalgic.

“Ichi” would probably refer to Iori, right? (He has the kanji for “one” in his name.)

Wowee, Nagi’s entendre…is really thick. Like pudding.

I agree, brothers can be so strange…

“…spoil me sometimes.” - Laying on the entendre thicker than custard here, Iori!

These boys are so into their Magical Kokona. I want in now.

Tamaki really is an En-chan…En-chan! Come back! (But why does Tamaki have no socks???)

These ED outfits are so elaborate! Ooh! Imagine a gender-swapped cosplay of them, that’s be great!

Who’s that on the edge of the ED video though? (You can see something hopping up and down.)

Zoku Touken Ranbu Hanamaru 1

Can we please just call this “Hanamaru 2” like Crunchyroll? “Zoku” just refers to a continuation…anyways, I got Hanamaru season 1 done last year while dealing with Katsugeki, so…here I come, sword boys!

Didn’t Hanamaru get a dub, by the way? Why would you dub this? For me to criticise it? The Touken Ranbu fanbase is kinda small…

W-Wait, did they just write Yams out of this season? Yams is the protag (if not a protag) here! What did Ichiki do now to deserve this???

It was getting too hard to jump through the proxies to play Touken Ranbu as of late, so I deleted my DMM account. Even still, the sword boys have multiplied since I left! Yikes!

Wow, unexpected 1st person bit there, Kashuu/Masuda. I thought I told the industry to stop doing that…

Exposition wave…I don’t need this wave, but I guess anime-only fans might. Carry on, Heshikiri.

So this multiple Konnosuke thing wasn’t a Katsugeki-only gag? Oh dear, my head’s spinning…

I don’t think I noticed, but Kashuu uses a brush (and not a specialty brush provided in the lid of nail polish). Probably because in Touken Ranbu, plastic isn’t much of a concept…

I still appreciate how Kashuu was this Saniwa’s starter. Makes me feel warm and fuzzy for my own TR days…

Photos are a nice way to recap. After all, 1 picture speaks 1000 words.

Wow, Shishiou’s a real chibi compared to these tachi. But Shishiou’s a tachi too…

Dang, I’m jealous. These bros were around when I was a TR player, and I missed ‘em! Dang Kebishii drops!

So that thing really is a nue. I could never see it on Shishiou’s card, y’know.

Hmm…considering the bros are new swords, the Saniwa’s strategy is to level up them up using the younger bro as leader (remember, the leader gets more experience). I see…

A “pincer attack” is a V shape, so the description fits the Crane Wings formation…

I can’t say I wasn’t impressed by Akashi just then. Come to think of it, he didn’t have any battles in Hanamaru’s 1st season.

A double attack suits a pair like this, of course!

Oh my gosh, they even got two dfferent voice actors for the Konnosukes! LOL!

Hanamaru’s EDs kept changing and it seems like they’ll continue to change, eh? This one looks quite spiffy.

The style of this ED doesn’t look like Hanamaru at all. It was probably done by the original illustrator for the swords.

It’s a great return to form for Hanamaru! I’m sold!

Karakai Jouzu no Takagi-san 1

Another day, another long title…plus this show I would’ve passed on, if not for that resolution…

Michiko Yokote is on a lot of shows I watch. I don’t really know what her influence is, but it seems she’s genuinely competent at what she does.

So…uh, Gendo pose anyone?

I think the teacher is the best part of this. I’ve been a bit of Tonari no Seki-kun, and the pull of that is the sheer ludicrousness of what Seki does with his stuff. However, there didn’t seem to be any intervention aside from Yokoi (I think that was her name)…

Nishikata’s reactions are just way too easy to read…

Well, that was okay, but it’s definitely a show to binge all at once. On to the “on hold” pile it goes.

Wait, but they missed a segment (the 100 yen segment). Gotta skip forward…

I didn’t get any laughs out of that show at all, but it’s still a decent school SoL.

How to Keep a Mummy 1

I have absolutely no experience with this manga, mind you…aside from seeing this tiny mummy on Comico…

Wow, if the mummy can fit in his shoe…how big is it?

The translation of “ready” is surprisingly ganbaru, and there’s a “but” mentioned in the Japanese title missing from the English. Also, “ready” has sexual connotations I’d rather not pair with a tiny mummy…I’d say the translation of the episode title should be something more along the lines of “White, Round, Small, Very Wimpy But [Also] Tries Its Hardest” (“It” being the mummy and not Pennywise…).

Is Dracula even public domain right now? (Does anyone care about the intellectual property of a classic vampire novel anyway? Because I sure don’t.)

Can we please start making jokes about how Sora’s daddy got him a mummy? It may seem childish, but I’m tempted to now.

This mummy is so adorable, I think it even beat out the kids from Gakuen Babysitters! Geesh, I’m spoilt this season! It completely set off my moe senses, and I don’t even have any!

It imprinted on him! Oh wow!

The mummy doesn’t even have a mouth…how can it spit things-oh wait. That’s the joke, isn’t it?

Come to think of it, crybaby characters ae few and far between. However, between this and Devilman…er, Crybaby…they’ve suddenly become popular…I guess?

It’s like a harem, only it’s between a dog and a mummy. Why I never…

One of the best things about anime is that you can learn about other cultures through the things included offhandedly…like that molokhiya thing that Sora mentioned. Apparently it’s a Jewish vegetable of some sort.

Do mummies get jet lag too? I was just thinking how Comico stories, with their full colour and yet simple design (to allow for downward scrolling and intake by the eyes) are perfect for anime.

I listened to the show with volume for once…because Tazuki seems to be the guy voiced by Keisuke Koumoto…and I think I was on the money there. Plus, Sora’s VA really sells the delivery of jokes (although he seems to be voiced by a woman…?)!

Yamanba…like Yamanbagiri’s namesake. The mountain hag, right?

Yep, I was right on the money with Tazuki being Koumoto. Kamitani Tazuki, it seems his name is…

This dance ending’s kind of cute, too. It’s a keeper!

Death March 1

(looks at title just above this dotpoint) C’mon. There’s no way I’m going to repeat “Death March to the Parallel World Rhapsody” over and over again for at least 11 or 12 episodes…by the way, I’m here because I was reading a KonoSuba novel and saw an ad for this, just in time for the anime…

“SADA”, my butt…

I love how they almost replicated Windows 8 in this show. Or is it 7, or 10? They don’t show the taskbar, which is the main visual difference between 8 and 10, but either way the Windows replication without being sued is really something…

This OP’s gonna make me dizzy someday…

Classes, eh? So that means Suzuki’s working with an OOP language. Plus you can see Cortana on the computer as the mention of classes goes by, meaning that person’s on Windows 10.

UML.

By the way, Satou is a fairly common name in Japan…at least to my knowledge. But Suzuki is a pretty common one, too, hence the mistake.

The client? Unless Suzuki is referring to the client as in the program, it could also mean the client as in the person/group who wants the game made. Considering what he says though involving a call, it’s probably the latter.

That’s the second show with a lost kid in the first episode. It seems a bit trite, don’tcha think?

According to his phone map (flip phone!), he’s in Akihabara.

FFL…eh? Google says there are multiple Final Fantasy games for Android, meaning I’ve probably thinking of Fire Emblem Fates (which doesn’t match), and there’s no such thing as Final Fantasy 50 (L in Roman numerals) yet.

That’s the second time they mentioned work/daily life being a death march. Can we not???

Come to think of it, Suzuki looks like Nobuaki (King’s Game), which doesn’t bode well for either show.

Apparently you can get Facebook Messenger for Windows 10, which I didn’t know…

“…being a corporate slave.”

C’mon! This ain’t the Animatrix, but still, if you’re trying to make stuff look technological, at least make it look a bit better.

Third time they’ve mentioned “death march”.

It might just be Houseki no Kuni’s fault, but this CGI is really janky.

Welllll…at least it looks like a game.

Welllllllll…at least they knew where to put their money for some sakuga…

This running through fields scene is either a homage to Every Anime Opening ever, or Pokémon. I distinctly remember it being in Emerald’s opening animation, at least.

Dude, if you want to look for a wyvern, do it from the ground where you won’t get injured, dumb Satoo.

Does this look a lot like Berserk (2016) with all its CGI knights…or is that just me?

Zena…? I might be showing how old I am with this (or how much I scour the internet), but…by any chance, do you mean this gal instead?

I think I’ve had enough of this flip for now, so I’m putting it on hold.

#simulcast commentary #gakuen babysitters #zoku touken ranbu hanamaru #touken ranbu #touken ranbu hanamaru #miira no kaikata #how to keep a mummy #death march to the parallel world rhapsody #cardcaptor sakura #cardcaptor sakura: clear card-hen #karakai jouzu no takagi-san #teasing master takagi #idolish7 #school babysitters #Chesarka watches Gakuen Babysitters #Chesarka watches Hanamaru #Chesarka watches Idolish7

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quinnhayden · 7 years

Note

21 and 42 for the 50 prompts thing? Steve and Bucky? If you're doing the prompts, please.

21. “Sometimes, being a complete nerd comes in handy.”

Note: Since the term nerd didn’t actually come around until the 50s, I’m using the closest word the 40s had which is egghead.

Just as Bucky’s about to stand up and make another round for patrol, Quinn stumbles out of the tent. He can’t help but watch fondly as she takes a few minutes to rub the sleep out of her eyes, yawn widely, and clutch her coat closer when the cold of October nips at her skin. After she’s a little more awake, she shuffles over to stand in front of him, and then shoves her hand in front of his face to help him stand to his feet.

“Did you have a bad dream?” Bucky asks worriedly because, most of the time, if she ever wakes up before dawn, she flops down next to him and sidles up nice and cozy in front of the fire. Only if she has a bad dream does she want to be up and walk around.

“I have to piss,” she says bluntly and he does have the decency to cover his mouth when he cracks up so he doesn’t wake up the Commandos. “Hey, I don’t have to pussyfoot around until the sun is up.” She pokes him in the stomach. “And it’s not like I can head off on my lonesome because someone is superstitious, so you’ll have to be my escort.”

Bucky immediately sobers and scowls at her. “No. I’m worried because the town we came from has a damn killer on the loose that takes ladies from their beds and does God knows what before he cuts their throats.”

Bucky shudders when he remembers what the SSR rookie translated from Romanian to them. Women were found naked, marks of teeth littered across their bodies because their killer chewed them to hell, and their throats cut and drained of blood. Hydra’s supposed nearby presence is what made headquarters send the Commandos in to check it out. If they’d known ahead of time what was up in this town, Bucky would’ve pleaded for the top brass to leave Quinn in London.

“We’re away from the town,” she points out quietly.

“I know, but…” He hunches in on himself a little, feels vulnerable. “I don’t want to take the chance. None of us do, but me especially. You don’t know what it’d do to me if I ever saw you end up that way.”

Quinn’s entire expression softens. “James Barnes, you’re the sweetest man on the face of the planet and I hope your momma knows what a damn fine man she raised.” She shoves her hand back out toward him which he quickly takes in his own. “C’mon, let’s take the scenic route. I can hold it.”

Under the full moon, the two of them walk around the campsite, hand-in-hand. As nice as it is to walk around with one of his sweethearts, he can’t…settle down completely. He does try, he swears to God, and tries to convince himself that it’s only because Halloween is close and he’s spooked because of the murders.

“How about you pick out a tree?” Bucky would feel a lot better back inside their tent where Steve is and where he can hold Quinn close. “Then we can head back and wake up Dum-Dum and Monty to take patrol, yeah?”

“Can we fool around a little when we’re back in the tent?” she asks hopefully.

“You bet your ass we can,” he answers.

Quinn kisses him on the cheek before she zeroes in on a tree that she can hide herself behind. He starts to whistle a little tune to let her have a little more privacy. Almost a year she’s been with them and he still can’t help but feel sorry for her—one woman with a bunch of men. They’re almost always in the middle of the woods, they’ve dealt with each and every season, and she has to eat, drink, sleep, piss, and shit the same as the fellas but with more of the stigma. Plus, she has to bleed every damn month. She’s a saint to deal with all that she does.

Bucky switches tunes, but stops because he hasn’t heard any noise out of Quinn. She’s learned to be quieter, but there should be some noise. “Quinn?” There’s no response from her. For a second, he thinks about if he should head behind the tree to check on her. It would be awkward if she’s in the middle of a piss, but he’s also seen her naked, been extremely up close and personal with the most intimate parts of her, so he gets over it quickly.

Bucky heads toward the other side of the tree and starts to say, “Quinn, hey—” but stops when he spots Quinn sprawled out in the dirt, unconscious. “Quinn,” he says worriedly but there’s the snap of a branch so close his head snaps to the side to see what made the noise.

He doesn’t have time to block the hit to the side of the head and the world fades away.

When Bucky comes back to, it’s still dark outside so he prays he hasn’t been knocked out too long. He scrambles to his feet and his head that aches doesn’t appreciate the motion, but he can’t afford to lose any more time. Some maniac has Quinn and if he’d paid more attention, this wouldn’t have happened. He knew he should’ve sent her back to the tent when she came out. Bucky heads back to camp, rather than set off on his own like he wants to, because a team would be better than one man.

Bucky is close to panic when he finally wakes the rest of the Commandos up. He’s about ready to murder someone because of how long it takes them to wake up. A gun shot in the air definitely does the trick. When Bucky informs them of what’s happened, the panic that had them up and out of their tents doesn’t fade. Steve looks as horrified as Bucky probably does.

“How the hell do we find this asshole?” Dum-Dum booms as they all make a mad dash for their weapons.

“Small town, Dum-Dum,” Jim says in response. “There can’t be many places for him to hide.”

This little town nestled near Bran is a small part of Transylvania and Transylvania resides within Romania. Come to think of it, like Jim said, there shouldn’t have been that many damn places for the murderer to hide unless—

Bucky’s eyes settle on the castle that looms in the distance. Bran Castle is the technical name for it, but it’s better known as Dracula’s Castle.

“Vampire,” Bucky blurts and why no one’s put the pieces together yet, he doesn’t know. He feels dumb now that he’s actually realized it. Everyone looks over at Bucky, confused, and he starts to wave wildly as he explains, “He bites the ladies and drains them of blood, right? And Dracula’s Castle is up there. This fucker thinks he’s a vampire or some shit.”

Everyone stares at Bucky and he’s about to snap at them when Dum-Dum says, “Dracula’s not real.”

“I know that, nimrod,” he snarls. “But the writer based his castle off that one—Bran Castle.” He points at the castle in the distance.

“That castle’s a hospital now, Buck,” Steve counters. “We were there earlier.”

They were there earlier. Quinn wanted to see the hospital for herself, see if they needed any help from a nurse while the Commandos tried to find some information about why Hydra would be in the area. “That rookie from the SSR, didn’t he say those ladies were let out of the hospital a few days before they were killed?” Someone who worked at the hospital, they would’ve seen Quinn today.

It clicks for Steve, too. “We need to see who works at that hospital.“ If they can find someone that’s worked the same days that Quinn and the other ladies have been there, they could possibly find their killer. "Dum-Dum, hurry up and fire up the truck. We don’t have time to hike it there.”

Turns out that they didn’t even need to make it all the way up to the castle. After they turned off the truck, in the dead of the night, it was easy for Steve to hear Quinn’s short scream before it was muffled. It really is a shame that the town didn’t have a super soldier of their own because there probably wouldn’t have been so many bodies piled up if they did.

If Steve hadn’t thrown himself in the way to take the kidnapper out himself, Bucky would’ve put a bullet between his eyes the second they tore down the door. It takes the bravest Commando—which is Quinn—to make Steve stand down before he pummels the doctor to death. She spotted the patch of Hydra on him and shows it to Steve.

“We have to question him,” she explains quietly. Steve stares at her tear-stained face for a minute and turns to aim his punch that’d been headed for the doctor to the wall. His fist puts a hole in the wall. Bucky can’t blame him—he wants to do the same. “Y’all don’t have to be so mad. The worst he was able to do to me was bite me.” She kicks at the unconscious doctor with her foot petulantly.

Bucky was so focused on the fury that he didn’t even stop to check on her. He feels terrible and quickly rushes over to touch the mark on her neck that she reveals to everyone. There are a few sympathetic hisses of pain. “Jesus,” he mutters. “How bad does it hurt?”

“I can’t even feel it past my extreme need to pee. Someone help me find a fucking outhouse or somethin’. That’s the reason I’m crying. Gotta pee so bad it hurts.”

Steve and Bucky are the ones who go outside and watch Quinn waddle behind a tree. As she does, Steve breathes out a sigh of relief and presses his forehead to Bucky’s shoulder. “All this started because of Dracula’s Castle.” Now that they know Quinn’s okay, the total absurdity of this situation drops down on them, and they both start to giggle like two schoolgirls. “And none of us would’ve ever figured it out if wasn’t for how you always have your nose stuck in a book.”

“Sometimes, being a complete egghead comes in handy.”

42. “I’m only here to establish an alibi.”

It hasn’t been this bad for a few months. Bucky closes his eyes and can only see his hand wrapped around Quinn’s throat. He can’t stay in the same bed as her. So, he replaces himself in her arms with a pillow and then sneaks out to the kitchen where he zeroes in on Quinn’s chocolate stash. He takes the last two bars and walks back out to flop down on the couch to puts on a documentary that he can immerse himself in. Neil deGrasse Tyson’s smooth voice is always helpful.

An hour later, when it’s almost four in the morning, Bucky can hear the bedroom door open and looks over his shoulder to see Quinn quickly dart in the bathroom. The shower starts up the next second and he frowns, but turns back to his show. He didn’t hear her talk on the phone, but maybe Steve or Natalia or someone texted her and she’s needed on their mission. He could’ve sworn he heard from her that the mission wasn’t that much of a hassle, but he knows from experience how quickly shit can hit the fan.

Bucky’s theory, however, is blown to pieces when the front door opens a little bit past four and Steve walks inside their apartment. He looks exhausted, but there’s no limp, there aren’t any visible bruises or cuts, and there’s no wounded puppy look, so Steve’s okay. Quinn’s not needed on a mission, so Bucky’s confused why she’s up so early. Maybe he infected her with his bad mood and she woke up from her own dreams.

“Everyone’s up, huh?” Steve shouldn’t sound as fond as he does. “Couldn’t sleep?” he questions and Bucky nods. He doesn’t explain exactly why he couldn’t sleep to Steve. “Okay,” Steve adds quietly before he heads back toward the bathroom. “I’ll see if Quinn’s okay to share. You can too, y’know,” he tacks on. “Maybe it’ll help you feel better.”

“I have chocolate,” Bucky informs Steve and holds up the half-devoured bar. The wrapper from the first one is next to Bucky on the couch. He wonders if he can convince Steve and Quinn to leave him alone on the couch. It’ll be hard to look at Quinn in the eye. Bucky wants to be miserable in peace. Steve knows Bucky too well because stops behind the couch and leans down to kiss the top of Bucky’s head. It briefly makes Bucky’s skin crawl—he doesn’t deserve kindness. Steve quickly leans away and heads back to the bathroom.

Bucky can hear the low murmur of conversation, but doesn’t try to focus his attention on it to hear. Instead, he takes another bite of sweet, sweet chocolate and focuses on Neil deGrasse Tyson. He doesn’t realize that the bathroom door opened back up until Steve drops down on the couch next to Bucky. Bucky opens his mouth to ask what’s up, but Steve quickly whips his phone out, wraps an arm around Bucky’s shoulders, and takes a selfie of them. The flash puts spots in Bucky’s line of vision and he shoves Steve away from him.

“What the fuck, Steve?” Bucky snarls and rubs at his eyes like that’ll help clear up the spots. “Jesus, turn off the flash next time. What was that for, anyway? Why are you here instead of in the shower?”

“I’m only here to establish an alibi,” Steve answers which isn’t an answer at all. He locks his phone and stands up from the couch. “I think I’ll see if I can find a place that’s open this late…or is it early?” He hums. “Anyway, I don’t want to be here when she’s out of the shower.”

Bucky’s more confused than usual—and he’s an amnesiac so the usual for him is pretty damn bad. For some reason, he feels like he’s made a critical mistake, but he doesn’t know what it could possibly be. “Steve? A little help would be appreciated here, sweetheart.”

Steve, as headed back out the door, turns around and stares at Bucky. There’s a serious expression on his face, but there’s mischievousness behind his eyes. “Quinn’s cramps woke her up,” Steve informs Bucky. Then, oh-so-innocently, he asks, “Hey, was that the last of the chocolate? Should I stop by the store to get some more?” Almost on cue, the shower turns off and Bucky stares down in horror at the now-empty candy wrapper.

Oh God. Quinn’s period started. She’s not an early riser the way Steve is and she’s up early because her cramps are that bad. Quinn, by the way, has an exceptional tolerance for pain because of the super soldier serum. Chocolate is and always has been her relief when her period starts…and Bucky ate the last of it.

Steve cackles before he’s out the door. Behind him, Bucky hears the bathroom door open, and peers back over his shoulder to watch Quinn shuffle out. She looks exhausted, pained, and ready to cry—Bucky’s about to cry with her. She heads directly to the kitchen and Bucky takes the opportunity to shove the wrappers down between the couch cushions, but that won’t help him. Bucky will be her prime suspect because the two of them have more of a sweet tooth than Steve’s ever had.

“Bucky,” Quinn says slowly, loudly, and sweetly—too sweet.

Bucky Barnes is fucked.

#happy halloween!#have a spooky-ish prompt fill!#idek how to tag this #taylor answers magical people #my fic #menstruation tw #prompt fill

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mermaidsirennikita · 7 years

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Historical Fiction and Feminism/Internalized Misogyny

(This post contains spoilers for The Conqueror’s Saga, The White Princess, The White Queen HBO’s Rome, and Spartacus--sometimes in very vague ways, but I thought I’d be thorough.)

Recently, I’ve discussed feminism and historical fiction in the context of television on my blog—largely in terms of how NOT to do it, as seen on The White Princess. Marketing historical fiction (or fantasy that resembles historical fiction) as feminist is big in this day and age. Even if the word “feminism” isn’t thrown around, you see people talking about “strong female characters” and, essentially, women “overcoming obstacles” presented by cultures of the past. The thing is—does a woman acting like a feminist in a historical setting make the work itself feminist? Does her lack of feminist views, or even anti-feminist perspective make her a bad character?

What prompts me to think about these things is not actually a TV show in particular, but a few reviews of a book series that I immensely enjoy, Kiersten White’s The Conqueror’s Saga. The Conqueror’s Saga—which I highly recommend—is technically alt-history. It considers historical events, altered simply by turning a male historical figure—Vlad Tepes/Dracula—into a woman, in the form of series protagonist Lada. Lada is literally Vlad, but in the form of a (heterosexual) woman. She has a couple of sexual/romantic relationships with men, but they don’t at all dominate the series the way they often do with YA, and are viewed from a historical perspective in which Lada, despite her hunger for power, is intensely aware of the natural advantage men have over her. She wishes to rule Wallachia, but is tempered by the fact that she is a woman. This seems like a “feminist” premise, at least in the shallow manner in which feminism has been presented to the typical reader by pop culture.

Lada—a character who has manipulated people for personal and political gain, murdered, betrayed—is critiqued in some of the reviews that provoked me to write this for her anti-feminist views. In the first book, she doesn’t trust women who are a part of an Ottoman harem, in part because they use sex as currency and are intensely sexual and feminine in a way that she is not. While very aware of her own sexuality and femininity, Lada struggles with it and at times seems to hate it—in the second book, she seems to come to the conclusion that more than a man or a woman, she wants to be a soldier. And the reason why she hates her feminine body is that it makes it difficult for to be a soldier in medieval Europe. She also resents her mother, an abused woman, for not protecting her children, not defending herself. This is victim-blaming, likely with a dose of Lada’s own trauma informing it.

More controversial, of course, is Lada’s apparent inner victim-blaming of a group of women raped and impregnated by (essentially) their overlords. She wonders why they didn’t fight back, why they submitted, so on. As far as the narrative goes, I personally don’t feel like it validated Lada’s feelings. In fact, when she first inwardly critiqued the Ottoman women, they turned out to be cunning political animals, and she eventually comes to acknowledge their strengths with regards to manipulation. One of the women who was raped and impregnated becomes a supporting character and friend to Lada, and she comes to—in a sense—admire her own means of manipulation and politicking. It’s soft power versus Lada’s desired hard power. So—is a work of historical fiction anti-feminist because a female character expresses anti-feminist views?

I’ll compare this to The White Princess, a show which was heavily marketed as “feminist”. Elizabeth Woodville is seen alluding to the idea that women were the true powers behind the throne in medieval England (a fact that is categorically untrue, even if some women did have influence over medieval politics). Woodville, and her house, the Yorks, are promoted as the heroes against Margaret Beaufort. Margaret is crafted as a foil to Woodville—she refers to her daughter-in-law’s primary function of providing a male heir for her husband. She condemns her daughter-in-law’s sexuality. She is Bad. Elizabeth Woodville is Good (and a witch, because witchcraft = feminism). The series ends on Elizabeth of York becoming a puppet master for her husband, something that didn’t happen.

The fact is that while it’s nice to see a woman talking up girl power in historical fiction, it’s often anachronistic. And in the case of The White Princess, the narrative ends up pitting women against each other—one side is for grrrl power in a very shallow way (ultimately in the service of propping up a male York heir, but whatever) and the other representing a lack of sexual freedom, “the man putting the woman down”. And once Elizabeth Woodville is out of the picture, that whole rivalry is sort of confusing and goes every which way and it’s just… a bad show for many reasons, to be honest. But its faux feminism is the icing on the cake.

There have absolutely been strong women who did hold both soft and hard power in times past. But they were still affected by the patriarchal societies in which they lived. Isabel of Castile fought for her right to the throne and gained it—but she still wasn’t satisfied to leave the throne to her firstborn daughter, and ensured the birth of a male heir for herself and her husband. She raised her daughters not be rulers, but wives. Hurrem Sultan held immense power as the wife of Suleiman the Magnificent, but she got there by arguably undermining other women, and playing a game set up by men. Anne Boleyn became Henry VIII’s wife and is often portrayed as a woman who was “feminist” because of the power she (temporarily) held over her husband. But she was chosen by him; she was chased by him; and she got her crown after he took it from another woman.

It's great to see women supporting each other and loving one another in historical settings. We should see female friendships. We should see mothers loving their daughters. The White Princess, for all its claims of feminism, was all about pitting women against each other. But there’s a difference between that narrative, I think, and one in which a woman experiences the effects of her own internalized misogyny, as Lada does in The Conqueror’s Saga. She hates feminine things because she’s been raised to feel lesser because of her own femininity—this does not make her an anti-feminist character, in my perspective. Nor does it make her story anti-feminist. It makes her a character with accurate viewpoints about her own sex, hammered into her mind by men. When she realizes that feminine women are making things happen through their own means, that is a form of reconciliation that feels real to me. It’s certainly “realer” than silly, anachronistic platitudes about women being badass queens.

Another good example of women being strong characters in historical figures while also dealing with internalized misogyny would be the female characters of Rome. Two of the main female characters, Atia and Servilia, are set up as rivals. They are rivals in relation to their roles as rich Roman matrons, and the fact that they are connected to rival men (Atia through her uncle and son, Servilia through her son) only intensifies their hatred for each other. They call each other whores and bitches, they deride and hate other women. But does this make them bad women, a part of a woman-hating narrative—or are they simply products of their environments, and accurately portrayed as such? For that matter, does the fact that Servilia and Atia hate each other diminish the value of their relationship as one of the most prominent and important on the show? I could question the same of two women on another show set in Ancient Rome, Lucretia and Ilithyia of Spartacus. (I’m not saying that these characters are feminists at all, by the way--they are not.) They hate—and sometimes love—each other. They constantly fight one another. But their relationship is rich and complex, and the fact that they treat each other badly, and for that matter other women badly, doesn’t mean that this relationship is invalid or a product of an anti-feminist narrative.

Now, I’m not saying that all of these works of fiction are strictly feminist. Many of them feature male protagonists prominently, and the woman’s journey might not be “point” of the show the way it is on a show like Harlots. (In which almost every prominent character is a woman, the focus of the plot is a profession dominated by women, and women are often quite nasty and misogynistic to each other.) But it’s important to see women of historical fiction have rich relationships with one another, negative and positive. It’s important, to me, to see them express at least somewhat-accurate ideas about their own genders. Otherwise, we get into the routine of some women having more “feminist” attitudes than others, and them being “better” and more “enlightened”. A woman isn’t a bad person because she comes from a culture that doesn’t adhere to contemporary (popular) western feminism and doesn’t, herself, adhere to the principles of contemporary (popular) western feminism. The idea of the good, feminist women being better than a woman who really (in regards to historical fiction) not have any concepts of 21st century feminism isn’t feminist at all.

If we forget or wash over the environments to which women had to adapt, the environments they dealt with on the daily, the environments that likely inspired self-hatred in many… We forget our own history. It’s not fun to see a character like Lada, who I really love, look down on women. It’s certainly not fun to see a character like Atia who is so entertaining be extremely misogynistic; she’s outright evil to many other women, including her own daughter. But then, I want to see female characters who are allowed to be as rich, as good or as evil, as male characters. Who don’t have to shy away from depravity to conform to male expectations of the feminine character. Women have existed in a largely patriarchal world as good and evil people throughout history, and I want to see that.

#the conqueror's saga #the white princess #the white queen

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justanothercinemaniac · 7 years

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Epic Movie (Re)Watch #163 - The League of Extraordinary Gentlemen

Spoilers Below

Have I seen it before: Yes

Did I like it then: It’s a guilty pleasure.

Do I remember it: Yes.

Did I see it in theaters: No.

Format: Blu-ray

1) This is (or was, not so sure after this viewing) a quintessential guilty pleasure movie for me. I’m a sucker for crossovers and old monsters, so even though this team isn’t EXCLUSIVELY monsters the presence of Dr. Jekyll/Mr. Hyde, a why-is-she-a-vampire? Mina Harker, a not-Griffin Invisible Man, and Dorian Grey make the film as much of a guilty pleasure as Van Helsing for me. That’d make for a good guilty pleasure double feature.

2) I get this dude has never seen a tank before, but how stupid can he be?

3) I have a feeling Germany would not actually say this verbatim in a situation like this.

4) So I absolutely love the idea of taking The Phantom of the Opera and making him into the big bad technical war-mongering genius the League has to fight in this film. I love the idea, but I feel the execution is a little sloppy. Combining The Phantom’s with James Moriarty utterly takes away any sympathy we have for the character. In Gaston Leorux’s original novel, The Phantom was a figure of tragedy and heartache. I would’ve loved to see more of that side of him, to understand why The Phantom wants to start a World War and what that pain means for him. But instead we get sort of the cliché, “bad guy wants to start war to get rich,” scheme which may be very much in the vein of Moriarty but not in the vein of the Phantom of the Opera.

5) Sean Connery as...

According to IMDb:

Sean Connery was offered roles in The Matrix (1999) and The Lord of the Rings: The Fellowship of the Ring (2001), but said he didn't understand the scripts. So when offered another screenplay he didn't quite get, (LEG) he took it.

Connery hated working on this film. Absolutely hated it. There were constant production delays and he clashed frequently with director Stephen Norrington (who also hated working on the film, mainly from studio pressures). Connery has retired from acting pretty much because of this film. It was this film which convinced him that he’d fallen out of love with modern filmmaking. In the 14 years since LXG’s release Connery has only had two other acting roles: voicing James Bond in a video game version of From Russia with Love and as the titular character in the poorly received animated film Sir Billi.

Among the many liberties the film takes with the source material, it removes a lot of Quatermaine’s flaws. Yes the pain of losing his son is a nice source of conflict for the character, but this dude was messed up in the original story. His primary character flaw being his addiction to opium, but Connery refused to play an opium addict. The decision to remove this sort of defining flaw makes Connery’s portrayal of the character sort of a generic action hero, at least that’s how I feel. He’s pretty much playing Sean Connery, for better or worse. He never does anything totally unexpected or unique (again, in my opinion) and that hurts the film I think. Connery’s fine in the part. Again, he’s pretty much playing himself. It’s not worthy of a Razzie or anything. But it’s just...fine.

6) There are some really awful bits of dialogue in this film, not helped by exceptionally wooden delivery on some occasion.

Sanderson Reed [as a shootout begins]: “They’re indestructible!”

Allan: “No, just armor plated.”

7) One of the most interesting aspects of Quatermaine is his skills as a hunter and later his sharing of those skills with Tom Sawyer (more on that later). It is a side to him I wish we could’ve seen more of. Patient, steady, able to get off one good shot instead of a dozen fine ones.

(GIFs originally posted by @mercisnm)

8) There are so many random name drops and references in this film which are just done to remind you you’re in a world of fictional characters. Some of them work, but some of them feel REALLY awkward.

Allan [after Reed says he made good time to London]: “Not as good as Phileas Fogg. Around the world in 80 days? Ha!”

So basically you referenced something and then thought the audience was too stupid to get the reference and just said the name of the book. Great.

9) Richard Roxburgh as M/The Phantom/Moriarty

This film is FILLED with talented character actors and Roxburgh is one of them. In fact, he’s one of the finest character actors around. With notable roles in Van Helsing, Moulin Rouge, and the lead role in “Rake” (Australian TV show), Roxburgh is able to play a wide array of interesting characters. While this film may lack in some plot and structure, there are a number of performances which I find extraordinary (no pun intended). Roxburgh is able to play the calm and collected gentlemen M, the mad warlord The Phantom, and the conniving scoundrel James Moriarty all in the same character. Three different opportunities shown in one character, all of which done totally and excellently. If only the script would support these opportunities and differences better.

10) In continuing the theme of fine (fine as in exquisite, not fine as in “it’s just fine”) character actors in the movie: Naseeruddin Shah as...

(GIF originally posted by @barbara-stanwyck)

Hey would you look at that: an actual Indian actor playing a character who was originally written as Indian in a major Hollywood film from 14 years ago! What a concept!

Shah is another actor who is pretty damn great in the role he plays, if only the script would have supported it more. He is able to portray Nemo’s authority and skill in presence alone. When Captain Nemo enters the room you KNOW he’s someone you don’t want to mess with. He is powerful, reserved, but also able to convey Nemo’s pain when necessary. Honestly for all this films problems there are some members of the cast who I just truly love, and Shah as Nemo is one of them.

11) Another member of the cast I think just freaking nails it is Tony Curran as Rodney Skinner/An Invisible Man (not THE Invisible Man, but more on that later).

According to IMDb:

20th Century Fox was unable to get the rights for the literary character of The Invisible Man, created by H.G. Wells. Not only did this necessitate the character in the film have his name changed from the book's "Griffin", but that he could never be referred to as "the" Invisible Man, only "an" invisible man.

Honestly the change works much better than you might think as Skinner is one of the most likable characters in the film. Curran is able to make his charismatic, devilish, witty, and entertaining for someone who is typically never seen. Unfortunately he sorta disappears around the middle (and the film is worse for it), but Curran is another talented character actor who does an excellent job in the film.

12) Peta Wilson as Mina Harker.

So...Mina...I don’t really know where to start with Mina. She’s the leader of the League in the original graphic novel, not Alan Quartermaine. She also is NOT a vampire, is dealing with trauma over her encounter with Dracula, and is seen to be a bisexual suffragist (or at least, Alan Moore’s understanding of what that is). A lot of that is lost in the film, and while her vampirism does lead to some badass moments Mina’s motivations are...I’m not sure, actually. I would assume she wants to stop the spread of evil throughout the world to prevent another Dracula, but she has some weird past romance with Dorian Gray and gets sassy with Allan when he acts sexist and...that’s it? Wilson is another strong character actor in the film, but I feel the script supports her even less than it supports say Captain Nemo and Skinner. I’m actually not sure what else to say about Mina.

13) Why does Sean Connery play so many sexist characters?

Connery [to Mina]: “I’ve had women along on past exploits and found them at best a distraction.

Maybe if you didn’t objectify them and trusted their competence you wouldn’t be so distracted.

14) So if you pay attention, right before The League visits Dorian Gray there are newspapers plastered up on the wall of a building talking about Mars (pretty much the words “Mars” is really big). This is in reference to the second volume of the comic book which dealt with The League fighting off HG Welles’ aliens from War of the Worlds. I like that volume more than the first personally, but like a lot (if not all) of Alan Moore’s work it can be problematic. Anyway, moving on.

15) Dorian Gray.

Unfortunately I feel like Stuart Townsend is one of the weakest actors in the film as Dorian, but that could also be attributed to Stephen Norrington’s direction (theoretically, it’s not like I was on set or anything). He’s kind of overact-y, portraying Dorian’s self assuredness and vanity in a way which kind of makes him a prick. Another character not originally in the novel, I don’t think the film necessarily needed Dorian Gray. Although he does have one of my favorite lines in the film.

Bad guy [after he shoots up Dorian to no effect]]: “What are you?”

Dorian: “I’m complicated.”

16) Tom Sawyer.

Tom Sawyer is pretty much Tom Sawyer in name alone. He has little-to-nothing in common with Mark Twain’s original character, being a secret service agent instead of a devious little trickster who’s always getting out of work. The studio asked for him to be included as they felt the movie needed an American character to be interesting to stateside audiences. Since he’s not in the original work and he’s not really Tom Sawyer, he ends up being kind of another generic action trope. A shoot-em-up rookie who learns from the more experienced Quatermaine and that’s it. They cut a line which explains that Tom is so desperate to get The Phantom/M/Moriarty because he killed his partner (one Huck Finn) but that’s literally his only unique motivating character factor. And it got cut. It’s done and gone. So we’re just left with...this. Shane West is OK in the film, but the script doesn’t give him much to do in the first place.

17) I’m disappointed with the design of the Nautilus.

Nemo calls it, “The sword of the ocean,” and I’m just wondering if they couldn’t have let that be a bit more metaphorical instead of looking like a giant sword.

18) At one point Mina does an impression of Allan/Sean Connery. According to IMDb:

According to Wilson, this was a last-minute addition to the scene, and she felt nervous doing it, since Connery impersonations were considered a no-no on the set. Before the shoot she called Connery and offered not to do the accent, but he insisted she should. Afterwards, she asked him what he thought. He replied, "You were great!" She was taken aback and asked if he really meant it. He said, "Yeah, it's terrible! It's the worst impersonation I have ever heard, and it's perfect."

19) Jason Flemyng as Dr. Jekyll/Mr. Hyde.

Jason Flemyng is another one of my favorite character actors - having notable post-LXG roles in X-Men First Class and 2010′s Clash of the Titans - and may tie with Tony Curran as my favorite actor in this film. Flemyng is able to capture both Jekyll and Hyde very well, making them unique in and of themselves. I have to remind myself that they’re the same actor considering the heavy amount of makeup Flemyng is put into for Hyde. But he brings a wonderful physicality to the part which I think is just spectacular. Unfortunately - again - the script does very little to support his performance and the actor gets a little lost in the middle. A great performance even if I wish it were better written.

20) Gathering the League feels totally inorganic, unfortunately. Literally the first half of the film is, “let’s get him and let’s get him and let’s get him,” without actually contributing to the overall plot with The Phantom and the impending World War. It is very telling of the film’s biggest problem and that is the one it has with structure and pacing. Everything feels very messy, with not much thought put into why some scenes exist or play out the way they do. Which is unfortunate again because you have a mostly-stellar cast who are already pretty damn good with a crummy script. Imagine what they could do with a better one.

21) Allan teaching Tom how to shoot maybe my favorite part of the film. It not only connects to Allan’s own internal conflict with the loss of his son but it also taught me - at 13 years old - how important patience can be. Just breathe and take your time. It’s better to get off one perfect shot than a dozen shitty ones.

22) So in the course of about ten minutes it is established that both Tom and Jekyll are into Mina even though nothing from before gives them reason to be and they never once revisit it after. Remember how I said this film had some structural issues? Well it has some developmental issues too.

23) This film is an hour and fifty minutes. It takes them fifty-five minutes to get to Venice - where they’ve been trying to get to the whole time - and then the bomb goes off right away (literally) and they have to stop it. The plot is literally: assemble the league, go to Venice, get to Venice and stop the disaster. Nothing in between. Again: this film has some major structural issues.

24)

Jekyll [after he’s asked to bring Hyde out]: “No! Hyde will never use me again.”

Dorian: “Then what good are you?”

(GIF originally posted by @marshmallow-the-vampire-slayer)

Seriously, why did they bring Jekyll around? Did they only need Hyde? And if so, for what? I know M wants the serum for Hyde but what about the rest of them? What convinced them to bring Hyde along and then be okay with him not doing anything on their big mission?

25) Another example of an extremely wooden delivery. This line hurts my soul every time, although in fairness Dorian himself is supposed to be faking it.

Dorian: “Damn Skinner! He must’ve told them we were coming!”

It hurts my ears, that line. I hate it. So much.

26) I have so many questions about the car chase through Venice. How does Tom know to drive a car? Why is the car designed like it’s American with the wheel on the left? How can Nemo track the car’s “frequency”? Who does the car have a frequency, it is never seen using the radio? I’m so confused.

27) This is the weirdest James Bond movie ever.

Allan: “Vampire lady has us covered.”

28) The scene where Alan faces off with The Phantom in the Venice graveyard is close to interesting. If The Phantom were more developed as an individual and it took its time to peek into Alan’s internal conflict, it could’ve been an excellent character moment.

29)

M [revealing his entire plan via a record]: “It was a ruse to get me closer to my goal.”

(GIF source unknown [if this is your GIF please let me know].)

So M wanted the technology to the Nautilus, Hyde’s serum, Mina’s vampirism, and Griffin’s invisibility. And here’s how that plan worked: rob an English bank disguised as Germans, kidnap German scientists disguised as the English, try to convince Quatermaine to join a fake League I made up, try to kill Quatermaine to show him the danger is real, send the League I have already to get Dorian who is a traitor in their midst, try to kill them all with Dorian to convince them the danger is real, have Dorian steal what I need from everyone, blow up Venice, have Dorian escape.

(GIF originally posted by @dailydctv)

If you already had Dorian and an army of minions at your service, couldn’t you have sent them to get what you need from everyone? Wouldn’t that have been easier and less expensive? I’m just...I think I need to move on.

30) The best part of the sinking Nautilus is Jason Flemyng really gets to shine as Hyde. Except it makes no sense that Hyde suddenly doesn’t want to betray and murder everyone for his own personal gain but actually wants to work with the team. There was absolutely nothing to change that character motivation. At all.

31)

Quatermaine [after the Nautilus is trashed, about pursuing Dorian]: “We were the faster, but now we’re the tortoise to his hare.”

Except the tortoise won that race. Did you not understand the point of the story?

32) And then a random white tiger shows up, stares at Quatermaine, and leaves.

(GIF source unknown [if this is your GIF please let me know].)

I know it’s supposed to tie into how Allan feels his an old tiger sensing the end but it’s also just totally random. And like, did you need an actual tiger? There’s no subtly to that. At all. You’re just taking the metaphor literally and not trusting the intelligence of the audience. I just...gah.

33)

Skinner [after slapping Mina’s as while invisible]: “I’ve been waiting all week to do that.”

To sexually harass her? Well, you’re still not as awful as how Alan Moore wrote The Invisible Man in the story.

34) Like all the set pieces in this film, the climax is poorly paced and sort of dull. You keep cutting between Hyde and Nemo fighting a weird Hyde clone (which, btw, is not how the serum works in the original novel; it’s not Hulk juice), Mina fighting Dorian in a bedroom because she claims, “You broke my heart once,” (really?) Allan and Sawyer chasing down M who is revealed to be Sherlock Holmes’ Moriarty, and Skinner just being somewhere and then getting burned. It’s just...meh.

35) Also should looking at the painting kill Dorian? Is that how it worked in the original novel? I thought if you stabbed the painting it killed him or something.

36) In an actually somewhat developed part of the film, Sawyer shoots Moriarty remembering Allan’s teachings about patience.

37) And then Alan dies, but not really because they wanted to do a sequel and totally set up him coming back from the dead. Too bad this killed the potential of a franchise.

This film was a lot less enjoyable as an adult than it was when I was in high school, but I’m also analyzing it for the (Re)Watch. Yes the story is a muddled mess with underdeveloped characters and concepts which just really don’t make any sense. Yes Sean Connery is sort of just showing up. BUT it’s largely well acted and come one! It’s a film where Tom Sawyer shoots James Moriarty in the back after being taught by Allan Quatermaine how to do it. I’m a sucker for crossovers so this is still a total guilty pleasure. Don’t watch it if you’re not interested, because it’s pretty crummy. But it might be enjoyable for the individual who’s interested in these kind of stories.

#The League of Extraordinary Gentlemen #Sean Connery #Richard Roxburgh #Jason Flemyng #Tony Curran #Naseeruddin Shah #Peta Wilson #Stuart Townsend #Shane West #Epic Movie (Re)Watch #Movie #Film #GIF

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