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mochinomnoms · 3 months

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The day Yuu introduced any of Octavinelle trio as their mate (Let alone all 3 or just 2), a part of their soul dies 1. Beacuse he knows they mate for life and 2. Beacuse on the list of suitable suitors for his dear pup all of Octavinelle was on the bottom in the F tier. He has a slight heart attack and gives "the dad talk" to them.

"Them?"

"Yes"

"Them. Out of all the pups in the school you chose THEMMMM"

"Yeah."

*His soul rises out of his body for a moment* "Are you TRYING to make me go GREY!!!! I swear i will turn into Trien by the end of the year!"

Then on the complete Opposite end, if Yuu introduces Kalim as their partner Crewel is happy. He was in the A teir for suitors beacuse he is the goodness Boi.

S tier is Vil but he is happy his puppy ended up with someone who wasn't a criminal.

Ah, I love assigning Crewel as the dad against his will. I do believe that he and Trein out of the staff are the best parental figures to Yuu. Let's be honest, Sam is like an older cool brother, Vargas is your way too into sports uncle, and Crowley is the dad that you don't call your dad anymore cause he was a really shitty dad. I imagine his relationship with Yuu is closer to bickering siblings with a maaaaasive age gap.

Anyways, yes Crewel has a tier list:

His main priority is making sure that you end up with someone who has/will have a good foundation to take care of you, especially since you don't have any family (other than him now) to be your support if something goes wrong. Is other priorities are that they will be generally good to you, you'll be in no danger, and that they're responsible.

S tier is Vil, you're correct. Vil is one of his top students, is respectful, has a wonderful taste in fashion and makeup, makes good money even now, and comes from a good family. Crewel knows that with Vil, his pup will be taken care of! This is simialr with Trey, someone who is doting and kind and also comes from a good family), and Riddle. He thinks Riddle is good, hard worker that will be loyal and dedicated to you, as well as provide a solid home and family. Even if his mother's a bitch, he has a good background and lineage... plus you'd live near him over school breaks.

I actually don't think he'd have that much of an issue with Azul. Yes, he can be shady, but Azul does well in school, is very motivated to become a great business owner, and has a good family that owns a restaurant. The others in this section are also solid people who Crewel thinks would cherish and care for you. Deuce is probably the most surprising… but Deuce is very earnest and cares very deeply for his family. While he may not have the best track record, and doesn't have a rich family, Deuce cares very deeply and will make sure that his partner is happy no matter what. Thus, Crewel approves.

Neutral is pretty self-explanatory, but the “ooh, really?” is very interesting, as it's filled with arguably the richest and prominent students. Which is why he does not like them. Kalim regularly deals with assassination attempts, Leona is an arrogant second-born prince from a nation with numerous issues, and Malleus is the crown-prince of an isolated nation that is known to not like humans. He'd be worried about any sort of stress you'd be under, especially since you'd be publicized, and while he trusts Vil to keep a tight grip on the tabloids due to his career, he can't extend the same courtesy to what are quite frankly political figures. He knows that they have the means, family, and personality to love you. Arguably, these three are the type that once they fall, they fall hard and become devoted to their partner. But… still… are you sure you wanna get with them?

For the bottom tier…. Yeah. The twins are shady troublemakers, and while Azul at least has a good family, Crewel can figure nothing out about the Leech family or what they do. They enjoy scaring other students, and while Jade at least does well in school, he and Floyd are just not what he thinks you deserve. Ace is… well… Ace. Rook, as much as he enjoys having him in class and in the science club, is a bit too eccentric for his tastes. He'd be worried about Rook drawing the line between love and obsession. Finally, Idia is just a shut in who has little to no social skills, bad habits, and lives very far away. Crewel firmly believes that you'd become some sort of house spouse cleaning after a man-child, too busy with his games to help you out.

Overall, though, Crewel knows that he can't control who his pup falls for, but he can give a very solid shovel talk with a very solid warning about what happens to bad dogs that don't treat their partners right.

#mochi asks #twst #twisted wonderland #divus crewel #cyn write

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xoxomoonlightxoxo · 3 months

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Don't Get Attached | Part 5

➪ Playlist (Spotify)

➪ W/c: 2398

Remind Me Why We're Taking a Break?

As the warm beams of sunlight scatter on my exposed skin, I melt deeper into the soft duvet before his grip tightens around my waist. And by his, I mean Jungkook. And by Jungkook, I mean the guy I promised myself to not get attached to. Way to go y/n, you really pulled through with that one … But, I swear, one minute we were just talking and then the next, his chains were dangling on top of me. In short, I blame the alcohol.

Nonetheless, the damage was done and now, I have to pay the price by swallowing down whatever is left of my dignity before doing the infamous walk of shame towards the kitchen. At this point, I don’t even know where half my clothes are, which is concerning because I wasn’t wearing much to begin with. So, Jungkook’s white button-up would have to suffice for my little trip. Tiptoeing towards the fridge, I’m careful not to wake Koo’s sleepy head, before exhaling a deep sigh at the depressing sight of his empty fridge. How does one live off of beer, shredded mozzarella and strawberry milk? Moreover, how does one stay so fit and toned while indulging in such a bizarre nutritional palette? Beats me.

Scanning the top shelf, I audibly gasped out of relief upon seeing a carton of eggs, even if there were only four left. Challenge accepted, Koo. In no time, I was oiling the pan while whisking some milk into the yellow, homogeneous mixture seasoned with some pepper, salt, and dried parsley.

[Narrator's POV]

Stretching his body, Jungkook is saddened by the empty space beside him. Tracing his steps back to you, his half-awakened self follows the delicious smell coming from the kitchen. No one has ever cooked for him. Or, at least, not out of their own intentions or desire. Thus, to him, your gesture is unfamiliar, but deep down, greatly craved.

Focusing his softened gaze on your body, he takes a moment to admire the way his button-up cuts off right at your thighs. Although smirking at the sight, he isn’t too pleased by the fact that the rest of your body is still covered. Not enough exposure for his liking. If it was up to him, he would have you right there on the countertop, pretty whimpers bouncing off the walls.

“Morning gorgeous,” Jungkook whispers into your ear, pulling your body closer to his bare chest. Leaving traces of soft kisses on your neck, his veiny hands intertwined with yours before pinning your body against the counter shelves. Now face to face, the space between you two has become less apparent, tension rising at the way your forms mould into one singularity.

[Y/N's POV]

“Koo,” I whine into the needy kiss, eyes searching his darkened orbs.

“Yes, baby?” he replies in a raspy tone. I didn't think someone's morning voice could have such a chokehold on me, but Jungkook's is definitely doing something. Please y/n, focus.

“Koo, we can't keep doing this,” I manage to let out.

“Doing what?”

“You know, ignoring the elephant in the room?” my tone is firm but shaky. Nonetheless, I mean business, so my eyes maintain focus on his hooded gaze despite the suffocating tension between us.

“Well, it's not my fault your thighs got me all horny, but I think I'm managing just fine,” he says with a grin, looking down at his grey sweatpants.

“Quite literally, I hope you trip down the stairs and never recover,” I scoff, rolling my eyes at his teasing before pushing his hands off of me. I swear Jungkook is the epitome of a man-child, not one fibre of his being has the potential of being serious. Disgusting. Pushing past his broad shoulders I manage to get a few steps in before being pulled back on his lap as his doe eyes sparkle under the kitchen lights.

“I'm sorry y/n, what did you actually mean?” he says with a slight chuckle, moving a few hair stands out of my flustered face.

“Well, we can't just pretend like nothing happened. You cheated, Koo …” I explain softly, nibbling on my lip as the nerves kick in. Jungkook knows he messed up. He might not be in tune with his own feelings but he does care about mine. Or at least, I thought. Nonetheless, I could tell the topic made him backtrack his own thoughts, taking the time to formulate something morally acceptable.

“Y/n, that didn’t mean anything to me. It was a mistake, I promise,” he explains, gentle with his touch as his hand caresses my exposed thighs which are now covered in goosebumps.

“Your mistake hurt. A lot.”

“What do you want y/n?” he asks hushly, tightening his grip on my waist as our bodies inch closer. Noticing my scattering eyes and furrowed eyebrows, his gaze softens.

“A break. We need a break.” I whisper, feeling my throat slowly tighten. I don’t want a break. But, I also don’t want to simply sweep this under the carpet. If Jungkook truly cares, he will understand where I’m coming from. If he doesn’t, well, then I guess, we were never meant to be.

“Is that what you really want?” he replies with a soft smile, our faces, now inches away from each other.

“Yes,” I manage to let out, eyes lowering to our intertwined hands as his thumb caresses my skin.

“Break it is,” Jungkook whispers, leaning in to place a soft kiss on my forehead before locking his eyes with mine for the last time. It hurts. It genuinely hurts. Why does he suddenly have to be so sweet and sincere?

“JEON FUCKING JUNGKOOK,” I yell out from his room upon seeing the plethora of notifications popping up on my phone. I guess it died last night because I didn’t hear any of them, and quite frankly, was too occupied with Jungkook, if you know what I mean.

“It better be something really serious for you to use my full government name,” he chuckles, rushing into the room with strawberry milk in one hand and an apple in the other.

“It’s Bomi and Jason’s wedding tomorrow, I completely forgot,” I whine, burying my face into his pillow as hopeless whimpers leave my mouth. Bomi and I are high school friends and Jungkook is Jason’s personal trainer. I was kindly asked to be one of her bride’s maids and naturally, Jungkook was supposed to be my plus one. But, the problem or should I say problems, is that 1) I am not ready at all and 2) Jungkook and I are technically now on break.

“Well, don’t look at me. You’re the brains here, I just do what you tell me to do,” he replies with a grin before plopping himself beside my distressed self. Scratch everything I said about his sincerity before. I meant none of that. Jungkook is still a man-child.

“Okay, then listen to me when I tell you to drive me home, immediately. I still need to figure out what to wear,” I sigh, shaking my head in disbelief. How could I forget? I was so caught up in the whole cheating scandal that I almost missed my best friend’s wedding. Way to not get attached y/n!

Finding my dress under Jungkook’s pile of boxers, I quickly change out of his button-up, feeling his gaze on my exposed figure. Eyeing his favorite view up and down, he leans his head back before letting out a deep sigh.

“You know, we never discussed the length of this break …”

- -

Softening my curls, I touch up my makeup before rushing out the door hearing Jungkook send a few honks upon arriving at the entrance. Initially, I was going to just take a taxi, but he insisted on driving us. None of our friends know about our little break, so the least we could do is act the part. Suited up, Jungkook looks very put together, handsome even. And, as our eyes meet, his gaze softens, opening the passenger door.

“Thank you,” I say hushly, as he leans in closer to buckle my seatbelt before turning his face towards mine. Lips inches apart, I can feel the flush rising up my cheeks. He is such a tease it’s physically unbearable. Nibbling on his lip ring, Jungkook takes a moment to appreciate the way the dress pushes up my cleavage, reminiscing all those times his hands did the same.

“What?”

“Nothing, just admiring the view,”

“Oh, yeah? Well, how is it?” I tease back, tilting my head as my hands slowly slide up to his neck, intertwining in his curls.

“Irresistible, I fear,” he whispers softly into my ear, nibbling on the soft skin before his hooded eyes search mine. This will be really fun, I can just feel it. Not only are we lying to each other, but now, we are also lying to our friends.

- -

“Y/n! Jungkook! You guys made it!” Jason greets us with a big smile, pulling Jungkook into a tight hug. Fixing my dress, I stand awkwardly to the side, admiring the beautiful setup. It's exactly how Bomi envisioned it, as hues of gold and white paint every inch of the hall.

“Y/n, how have you been? Bomi was worried about you,” Jason’s voice brings me back to reality as I divert my attention to the two buddies.

“I'm good, no need to worry, just got caught up in some things,” I explained with a soft smile, peaking at Jungkook’s nervous hands. It's gonna be a long night of pulling various excuses out of thin air before we can go back to our established break. Buckle up y/n.

Taking my purse Jungkook and I separate ways as he heads to the seating area while I help Bomi with her last-minute touch-ups.

“Bomi, you look so ethereal,” I say softly, in complete awe of the beauty standing in front of me. Jason is one lucky man, let me tell you. She has recently chopped off her hair as a symbol of letting go of the past. An impulsive decision at first that ended up serving her right as she now looks better than ever.

“You really think so?” Bomi replies nervously, eyes swelled with tears as I fix her veil.

“I know so, love,”

- -

As the venue doors open, guests turn their attention towards the adorable flower girl, Bomi’s little sister, Bae. Trying her best to not trip, she leaves behind a trail of pink rose petals before running towards Bomi’s warm embrace, embarrassed by the sudden rush of attention. And, as the pianist begins her cue, the bride’s maids make their way down the floral aisle. Feeling my eyes swell with tears, I focus on some deep breathing before spotting Jungkook in the sea of people, noticing his gaze soften as my chest heaves up. Something about him calms me down. Maybe, it was his smile, or maybe, his doe eyes that followed my every move, making sure I got to my spot safely before finally allowing his body to relax in his seat.

After the vows and the tearful I do’s it was time to take pictures, as Bomi, Jason and their photographers navigated everyone out to the beautiful scenery by the beach. Standing beside Bomi, we intertwine our hands, exchanging soft smiles before the photographer tells everyone to scooch in closer, wanting to capture the breathtaking sunset behind us.

“Jungkook, get in here,” Jason yells out, motioning him to stand beside me. Holding my purse, Jungkook waves his hands with a nervous chuckle, initially declining the offer before being commanded by the photographer to do so immediately. Nodding a quick yes, he rushes towards my stiff body. Sensing my discomfort he maintains a slight gap between us, knowing dam well that’s the last thing he wants right now. But, none of it matters, because we are on a break remember? So, he gulps down his sinful desires, body remaining craving my touch.

“Sorry, but could the gentlemen in the middle move closer?” the photographer says, finger pointing towards Jungkook, whose eyes lower to mine searching for permission before I give him a slight nod. Careful with his touch, he places his hands on my waist, grip tightening as our bodies inch closer. Feeling his breath on my neck, there’s virtually no room for me to move, remaining enclosed by his broad shoulders.

“It would be in your best intention to stop moving y/n,” he whispers into my ear as I manage a slight shuffle in place, feeling the bulge in his pants rub against my lower back.

“I can’t, you're basically in my ass,” I snap hushly, looking up at his hooded eyes.

“Don’t do that,”

“Do what?”

“Don’t give me ideas,” he grins, leaning closer before placing a soft kiss on my shoulder. You know, the devil works hard but I swear, Jungkook works harder.

- -

“One, two, three, go!” everyone counted down, as cheers and applause filled the hall once Bomi threw her bouquet. I swear, it’s as if the scene played out in slow motion. From crying children, to drunk uncles, everyone played a role in this mess. I was no exception, of course, running towards the circle of bride’s maids whose arms reached out towards the incoming bundle of pink flowers. Although I wasn’t there for the bouquet, it somehow found its way to me, landing perfectly in my trembling arms. And, just like that, I was now encircled by words of cheers, best wishes and congratulations being shouted at my flustered face.

Searching the crowd for Jungkook, I find him standing by one of the paintings with his tie undone, balancing two glasses of champagne in one hand.

“Well, I guess I’m next,” I chuckle, waving the flowers in front of him, feeling my cheeks flush with embarrassment.

“Does this mean our break is over?” he grins, pulling my body closer to his before leaning into a needy kiss. This time, however, I didn't fight back. Giving in to the suppressed desires as my hands intertwine in his dishevelled hair before looking back at his darkened eyes.

“We can always begin again … some other time … in the near future,” I whisper, tracing little hearts on Jungkook’s burning chest, feeling him smile into the kiss.

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lilis-doodle-dome · 6 months

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Mafukasa swap au, with in game screen cap edits

Things that swapped:

- Parents level of overbearing (Tenma’s are incredibly suffocating, while mafumom is well intentioned but left mfy alone far too much)

- roles in the group (Emu is WxS’ leader, while Mafuyu is Niigo’s)

- appearance of Sekai (Tsukasa has a more monochrome/depressing vibe, while Mfy’s is fanciful and colorful)

- outward persona (Tsukasa is the golden boy, perfect at everything, well mannered, etc. while Mafuyu is outgoing, confident, helpful (even when it’s not asked for), etc.)

Things that did not swap:

- Gender, and therefore school’s they go to

- which group they’re in

- familial situation outside of parents (Tsukasa is still Saki’s older brother and the Tenma’s are still close with the Aoyagi’s, Mfy is still a single child)

- Tsukasa is still the one with memory issues, so Mafuyu is influenced by bad memories from her past from the get go instead of slowly remembering them (she is still completely unwilling to actually engage with said memories even if she remembers them though)

- Which VS’s they start with (Mafuyu is just miku, Tsukasa is Miku and Kaito)

Other important things: (if interested)

- Saki and Tsukasa’s relationship is a lot more strained, Saki has incredibly conflicting feelings about her brother and Tsukasa always has his front up, even around her, so they can’t have a proper conversation

- Toya also has a stilted relationship with Kasa, both the Tenma’s and his father tended to compare the two boys. So while he still looks up to Tsukasa, he has some reservations about weather his admiration is genuine or just feelings implanted in him from the adults. Toya’s much closer with Saki, as he visited her a lot in the hospital (initially at Tsukasa’s request)

- Mafmom is a single mom, and a doctor. Needless to say she is busy *a lot*, bcs of that she’s always needed Mafuyu to be self sufficient and responsible, far before the age one could reasonably except for a child. She still loves Mafuyu very much and always tries her best to give her daughter a free and happy life

- Rather than an actor, Mafuyu found her passion in writing poetry. She wants to become the best poet of all time, which is what leads her to writing lyrics for K’s songs. Only the best composer could possibly support the best lyricist after all!

- Mafuyu’s love of writing comes from remembering all the times in the past her mom would come home late at night, looking exhausted both physically and emotionally, mfy would stay up to see her and then the two would cuddle under the blankets and read together. In those moments it would really feel like none of the rest of the day existed and all those pains and anxieties would slip away from her mother as they were transported to another world in their stories

- some time into this ritual, mafuyu started writing her own stories for her mother, and while Mafumom said she loved all of Mafu’s writing there was something special about her poetry that completely dispelled all of mafumom’s bad feelings and just let her live in the lines of text

- after that poetry became mafuyu’s life, and her Sekai is built off her desire to help people feel better with her work.

- Tsukasa’s Sekai also doesn’t match canon mafuyu’s it’s not built off his desire to disappear, instead it’s his desire to be his own person and figuring out who he even is in the first place (the other three can enter his sekai due to their shared desire of wanting to be themselves without getting hurt for it)

- Tsukasa hopes that by acting, he might resonate with a role and it’ll help him learn more about himself

- since they’re in the images, fun fact, Ruikasa kizuna rank title is ‘charity case’ (in place of 1-2 weirdo wombo combo) due to people assuming perfect, golden boy Tsukasa only started spending time with Rui because Teachers were hoping he would keep Rui out of trouble and get other students to look at Rui more favorably (thus Rui is Tsukasa’s ‘charity case’)

- while kanamafu’s kizuna rank is ‘please take a break’ due to both of them trying to constantly get the other to take better care of themselves. Mafuyu always saying Kanade needs to eat and sleep rather than composing all the time, while Kanade is desperately trying to make Mafuyu realize that working all day and putting ‘110%’ into everything she does, is infact unhealthy and not ‘the work ethic every good writer should strive for’ (it is not working on either end, Kanade is too guilty and mafuyu is too deep in denial)

I have a lot for this au, but making certain things is,,, difficult. To say the least

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exsanguidus · 8 months

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Controversial opinion; I think Ascended Astarion is the true Astarion. In DnD lore, vampirism amplifies a person's traits for whoever they are at the time they become a true vampire. A Paladin wanting to save people will end up ruling a city with an iron fist to keep people safe. A mage wanting to heal those they love will hurt everyone else to heal them. Astarion was on a journey with Tav - one from being controlled, owned, and tortured to being free, curious, and even powerful. Becoming a full vampire and ascending just amplified that. It forced a self-actualization, not a descent into villainy. I think Ascended Astarion is cannon Astarion. He will always be a vampire, and vampires in DnD are always the amplification of a true self. Without ascention, he is still malleable - but I don't think its what he wants. He wants to be powerful (protected by his own power too - his power being a means to self-preservation), he wants to be loved, seen, and free. Free of hunger, free to walk in the sun, free of Cazador. All these things are true regardless of the path you choose. But, they are all only attainable through ascension. When you ascend Astarion - he gets everything he wants and becomes who he truly is.

I'm going to start this with a disclaimer:

I work in the mental health field professionally and majored in Social & Behavioral Science, which is partly why I felt drawn to Astarion as a sort of case study. Characters rooted in trauma are interesting to me and I enjoy picking them apart to judge how real it feels. I utilize my educational and professional background to essentially guide how I write Astarion on this account.

That said, despite me being a professional in the field, all of what I have to say is my personal opinion and interpretation of Astarion's character based on how I interpret the material Larian gave us and the material that can be found in DND lore. Even in real life, things have variation and not all mental health struggles (getting over trauma is part of mental health) present the exact same way. There are theories that exist to try and explain some trends in mental health studies, psychology, and sociology, but again they're called theories for a reason.

Now, my response to this question will be under the cut and will include spoilers.

I know what lore in particular you're referencing, anon, because I've been going back to it a lot ever since I opened this account.

Astarion very much has an insecure attachment style born from his abuse at Cazador's hands. Specifically, an anxious-avoidant attachment type that leans more towards avoidant when he's first met and then begins to swing more towards anxious as he begins to get closer to Tav and the other companions.

Anxious-avoidant attachment types (also known as the “fearful or disorganized type”) bring together the worst of both worlds. Anxious-avoidants are not only afraid of intimacy and commitment, but they distrust and lash out emotionally at anyone who tries to get close to them. Anxious-avoidants often spend much of their time alone and miserable, or in abusive or dysfunctional relationships. Anxious-avoidants are low in confidence and less likely to express emotions, preferring to suppress them. However, they can have intense emotional outbursts when under stress. They also don’t tend to seek help when in need due to a distrust of others. This sucks because they are also incapable of sorting through their own issues. Anxious-avoidants really get the worst of both worlds. They avoid intimacy not because they prefer to be alone like avoidants. Rather, they avoid intimacy because they are so terrified of its potential to hurt them (Mark Manson, Attachment Styles and How They Affect Your Relationships).

Typically, most studies of Attachment Theory focus on the relationship of parents-children or romantic partners, but it can also be applied to any significant relationship someone has in their lifetime. Attachment styles thus are capable of changing based on new relationship experiences.

If you end up giving him the "good" ending where he denies the Ascension, it's implied in his final dialogue that he's actively working towards having a secure attachment type due to the influences of his fellow worm-afflicted associates - particularly Tav.

I think that it's important to also note that, even if Tav doesn't romantically connect with Astarion, he shows hints of desperately wanting someone to care for him, support him, and love him. He does want to know what sex would be like as something other than a tool, and especially what it would be like to actually want to have it just for the pure sake of enjoying having it.

You have to understand that Astarion doesn't even understand the concept of casual sex or friends with benefits. All those times he had to seduce people for Cazador was not casual sex or a friends with benefits situation. All of them were transactions with a means to an end. He got nothing out of seducing those victims besides the possibility of not incurring Cazador's wrath that night - but even then, there was still a possibility because Cazador was an abuser.

Abusers are incapable of providing genuine safety, but can manipulate their victims into believing an illusion of safety. Often times, they manipulate their victims into this by using phrases like "you made me do this by being disobedient", "it wouldn't come to this if you just did what you were told", and then weaponizing basic needs such as shelter, food, and social interaction. The bare minimum becomes something the victim is expected to be grateful for and viewed as a favor, which means anything beyond the bare minimum is expected to be viewed as a theatrical showing of care and love.

In game, Tav has the chance to hear Astarion tell the story of how Cazador turned him. He basically states that he got attacked by a mob due to a ruling he handed down when he was magistrate and then Cazador saved him and offered him immortality. It can be inferred that in his pre-vampiric days, Astarion had no idea that Cazador was abusive to his spawn.

This is likely because it seems that Cazador is careful about his public image. He doesn't allow his spawn to drink from humans, very likely not just as a means to further oppress them and dampen their potential power they could get from drinking people's blood, but also as a way to ensure there's not just a bunch of people out in the city being bitten and left alive to tell the story - or left dead on the street suspiciously.

He has his spawn seduce and lure people, particularly lower class people that would be harder for general society to realize is missing or just that he knows people who could actually challenge him wouldn't care for (you learn that reading some of the books and notes in Szarr Palace). The only exception to this is the kidnapping of Gur children, but even then it seems to fit his MO as it seems Gur are considered somewhat outcasts from the rest of Baldurian society due to their cultural differences.

It should also be noted that he himself doesn't do these seductions or kidnappings. He specifically chooses spawn to be his lackeys and that's likely so, if shit hits the fan and the spawn gets caught, he has deniability since he wasn't there. It's methodical and thought out to keep as many eyes away from him so he can still obtain what he wants and keep sailing under the radar.

Cazador is this methodical and purposeful as a result of his own trauma, which we learn about from the skull of his master in the dungeon of Szaar Palace. There's one interaction in particular with the skull in which Tav can learn that, at one point, Cazador attempted to rebel and usurp his master. Cazador failed and his master punished him via impalement. Not because Cazador had the audacity to try and usurp him, but because Cazador tried and failed. Cazador's master punished Cazador via torture because his master was disgusted by the fact that his spawn was too weak to succeed in such a plot.

Which brings me to my next point... it's not uncommon for victims of abuse to later become abusers. Hence the term Cycle of Abuse exists. Many abusers who were once victims often have the mentality of either "I'm not nearly as bad as my abuser was, they should be grateful I care enough to not be so bad" or "I survived and it made me tougher, they need to suck it up and let it help them build character" or both. They often fail to view their abuse as abuse and fail to recognize how their experience as abuse victims contributes into making them toxic and abusive to others.

There's many peer-reviewed scholarly articles you can find about the cycle of abuse, but one I particularly find useful is Editorial: Dissociation, and cycles of abuse across generations by David P.H. Jones. It talks specifically about parents and children, but I believe some of the general points made can be applied to Cazador and his spawn, as he crafts a very family-like setting that can be seen in the way that his spawn refer to one another as brothers and sisters.

This would thus make him the father figure, a role exponentially made important by the fact he denies his spawn education on things that could serve to give them ideas or the ability to leave him (for example, Astarion mentions that none of the spawn were permitted to learn about the language of the various symbols around the palace) and he consistently chooses his Golden Children (Favored Spawns) as a means of providing more false security. Do what he says, when he says, exactly how he says and don't complain then you will have benefits. You will be Favored, and to have his favor is the highest honor you could achieve.

Torture is clearly presented as Cazador's primary go-to for discipline. Research has also concluded that trauma has a way of affecting the brain and memories.

Trauma can prevent information (like words, images, sounds, etc.) from different parts of the brain from combining to make a semantic memory. The temporal lobe and inferior parietal cortex collect information from different brain areas to create semantic memory (The National Institute for the Clinical Application of Behavioral Medicine).

Astarion mentions a few times in-game that he can barely remember his life before Cazador, if at all, and a huge part of that is likely because of all the trauma Cazador inflicted upon him that exacerbated the natural occurrence of memory loss from aging (if vampires experience natural memory loss from aging, that is). This is most likely true for all of Cazador's spawn.

I say all this as a set up to truly answering you, anon, specifically where you say: "from being controlled, owned, and tortured to being free, curious, and even powerful. Becoming a full vampire and ascending just amplified that. It forced a self-actualization, not a descent into villainy."

I can argue that Astarion did not feel free up until after a decision to Ascend or not was made. And I argue that stance due to some dialogue he can have with Tav here he basically states that the power Ascension could guarantee that no one, even someone after Cazador is dead, could ever come in to oppress and hurt him again. Even with Cazador dead, he has such an intense fear of being enslaved and used that he turns to catastrophic thoughts as justification to why he needs to Ascend.

Catastrophic thinking is a cognitive distortion that occurs when people have a hard time weighing the likelihood of certain outcomes and believe that terrible or catastrophic outcomes—which are highly unlikely—become, in one’s mind, salient and extremely likely. (Tom Zaubler, MD, MPH).

Aside from the Gur, whom Astarion can manage to evade and even kill perfectly fine as just a spawn, we're not presented with any hints of another big bad in the vampire world that could possibly want Astarion. As such, there's not really any tangible threat, but rather a perceived threat that he believes is destined to darken his doorstep at any time.

His catastrophic thinking is a trauma response. His belief that he needs to be the most powerful being in the room as a way to be truly free is a trauma response. Cazador broke him down emotionally, mentally, physically, and sexually to make him believe that he was weak and trapped. Furthermore, that he remained trapped because he was too weak to do anything about it.

You see how this goes full circle into how Cazador's master punished Cazador for not being able to successfully usurp him? It places blame on the victim, allowing shame and helplessness to root that the abuser can manipulate. We know that Astarion definitely feels shame because he tells Tav that. For most of his dialogue until the boss fight, he's constantly bringing up that he did what Cazador wanted and acted obedient because he had no choice.

This is true, he had to act in self-preservation to survive and unfortunately that meant he had to be subservient. A few dialogue choices you can have your Tav pick can challenge Astarion and say he could have still tried, to which he'll rightfully tell Tav that Tav has no right to judge him for the choices he made to survive.

When Astarion encounters Sebastian in the dungeon, its made pretty obvious how much guilt and shame he truly feels. Furthermore, that for all Astarion's protesting and exclaiming that no one has the right to judge him, a part of him did believe that he didn't do enough to try and escape enslavement. A part of himself blamed himself and believed he allowed himself to be abused when, in reality, he was put in a horrible situation with very limited options. He did the best he could in the moment, with what information he had in those moments.

I also want to argue that who Astarion is when we meet him isn't his true self. It's who he had to become in order to survive Cazador. Astarion doesn't even know who his true self is because he didn't have the opportunity to explore his own likes and preferences. Cazador molded all of his spawn because he had a specific purpose for them.

Not only that, but since Cazador would have to more directly deal with these spawn since he used them as lackies, he also would have molded them to behave in ways to his preference so that he wouldn't find their presence unbearable and feel inclined to murder them out of annoyance. This is also where the Favored Spawn being separated and set on a pedestal comes into play. Those who could please him and play to his wants and needs had better benefits. If all of the spawn are acting in self-preservation, they would want to be favored and thus would want to adapt themselves to things Cazador liked and approved of.

This would mean learning to be cruel to those less fortunate and not doing anything as charity. This is the reason why Astarion approves of some questionable decisions Tav can make. Astarion learned his ideals and morality from Cazador because he had to so he could know how to please Cazador and stay in his master's good graces. After a while, even if you started off disagreeing, forcing yourself to act a certain way can become a habit that sticks with you. You convince yourself to enjoy it too so it's easier to swallow.

Astarion craves power because he knows that power is the quickest, easiest, and - what he believes - most effective way to prevent him from having to use that method ever again. It's logical to want power to solve that.

You said in your ask: "He wants to be powerful (protected by his own power too - his power being a means to self-preservation), he wants to be loved, seen, and free. Free of hunger, free to walk in the sun, free of Cazador. All these things are true regardless of the path you choose. But, they are all only attainable through ascension. When you ascend Astarion - he gets everything he wants and becomes who he truly is."

In the most literal of terms, yes, Ascension gives him all of those. However, since the basis of him believing he needs power to be free is rooted in fear, that's not actually really freedom. That is still his fear ruling over him.

There's a stark difference in what someone wants versus what they need. He wants power, to be seen, to be loved, and to be free. What he actually needs is security, stability, support, consistency, empathy, and autonomy. The things he wants is what he believes will solve the empty cups of what he needs, and he believes that because the only example he had on how to act to get what you want - until the events of the game - was Cazador. He literally had no other example of how to get your needs met except through selfishness, cruelty, force, manipulation, and abuse.

Again, I reiterate. The Astarion we first meet is not Astarion's true nature. Astarion's true nature was corrupted by his abuse from Cazador and the subsequent trauma that followed. If it had been his true nature, he would have happily been Cazador's subject because their true natures would have been in alignment.

It only becomes his true nature if he allows that trauma to define him and decides that he needs to embrace it rather than fight it. That is then what gets amplified because that fear that roots those wants becomes amplified.

Honestly, it's impossible to say what would be canon for Astarion because there's too many factors.

Studies have shown that having more supportive and positive influences, even if its later in life after leaving the abuser, tends to work in favor of the victim breaking the cycle of abuse. As such, I think that if you make a Tav who's core values are autonomy, consent, second chances, and redemption and somehow manage to get high enough approval that he'd even consider caring what they think; then its more likely that Astarion would reject Ascension due to observing how much softer, kinder, patient, and merciful Tav is.

But if its a Tav that has no interest in getting to know him beyond the surface or Tav doesn't exist at all, I honestly think he would end up going through with Ascension. Mostly because, to me, it seems like he didn't really bother to have more than surface level interactions with the other companions and the other companions really only ended up getting to know him better as a result to Tav managing to get past his masking. He does not lower his mask on his own accord, only after certain things are done and said by Tav.

Unfortunately, I just don't really think any of the other companions you can pick up in-game would really be able to provide support and determined consistency in the same way that players can make Tav. Hence I don't think he'd end up caring enough about any of them to ever start to think that perhaps freedom can be defined differently than the way he initially believes, and would view Ascension as the only right way to get his needs fulfilled.

#hc ; in one's blood #long post #bg3 spoilers #cw: trauma #cw: abuse #penned by grim ;#askbox ; blood oath

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seventh-fantasy · 5 months

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friendships as marital ties (and other notes on relational ties) in mlc

this is sort of a third installment in the series of meta on 'mlc as an exemplar of constructing queer narratives out of chinese ideological frameworks' (1. jianghu as queer space and 2. how it manifests in li xiangyi) - focusing on the nature of relationships in it. (which I've briefly mentioned in the first one and finally actually getting to it!!)

I would like to first call attention to chinese ideological frameworks as a premise of queer reading in mlc. the goal of chinese philosophy is to explore the becoming of human, taking two broad paths of the (mainstream) secular vs. escaping the secular. (these two paths are not a strict dichotomy, and rather, are ever in flux and in conversation with each other.) as said by @markiafc too, chineseness is so much about the rigidity of structures, and in equal part, a desire to break out of them. thus, chinese ideological frameworks can very much offer a rich reading of queerness - that mlc, a story very deliberately structured based on chinese ideologies (more accurately, with good reasons for me to believe that it is as such), has managed to materialise.

if the conceptualisation of queerness is premised on a defiance against mainstream norms, then a reliable way to read queerness in chinese ideological frameworks can be to deconstruct it by the mainstream confucian frameworks.

in mlc, this is implicitly set up with its stage of wulin/martial jianghu. then it is further broken down by asking, hey wulin jianghu is still closely related to the hegemonic values and the mainstream structure of authority (historically, 侠 xia being politically involved says a lot about this), so what is the true meaning of jianghu? what does it then really take for jianghu to be a queer space offering comfort and freedom to those who have escaped to it - to be the space that allow the transcendence of rigid roles and labels? mlc took a step further to resist the proxy to mainstream values that wulin jianghu has become.

this is why there can be a very strong buddhism reading of mlc (suggested here, expounded in the A+++ meta by @markiafc here and here, and also what I've seen discussed by cnet as well), given that buddhism is one of the 'extra-secular' ideologies, alongside (philosophical) taoism. I've also touched on a taoist angle in this meta. both schools are articulated in different sets of languages, but ultimately convey a same ideal of what it means to be human and how to live well - that is, to resist the roles and labels defined by the norms.

so, back to confucian frameworks.

a lot can be discussed about mlc with it. but in the context of this meta about relationships in mlc, it's specifically drawing on how confucianism conceptualises social relationships with familial ties as a cornerstone, and how these relational ties are inextricable from the conceptualisation of the 'self'.

as such, one of the things about mlc that has fascinated me is how deliberately it seems to ignore and reject the conventional familial ties (the kind by blood and marital ties). I've joked about how it is a miracle for me to love mlc as much as I do, as a prime dysfunctional family story enjoyer, despite none of its main characters struggling with any complicated feelings about their (biological) parents. but on closer examination, mlc is also making a comment on the model of familial-based relationships that dominates mainstream society - but through the absence of it.

with this, I want to talk about 1) how mlc rejects the conventional ties; and then 2) how it repurposes these ties in its own ways.

the five relational ties in confucianism:

father and son 父子有亲 - (natural) affection between father and son

ruler and subject 君臣有义 - righteous relationship between ruler and subject

older and younger brothers 兄弟 (长幼有序) - this is actually about seniority within the family; the order between older vs younger family members

husband and wife 夫妇有别 - differentiation between husband and wife (demarcated by the 内外 spectrum of gendered inner-external spheres)

friends 朋友有信 - trust between friends

logically inferred, all these ties are hierarchical and familial-based except for the last one: friends. ruler-subject is sort of an extension of the natural familial ties, while friendship is the inverse space of 1-4 (ie. you fall back on 5 to define a social relationship outside of the familial sphere that cannot be qualified as 1-4). while all are premised on mutuality, it is only no. 5 that is defined by a sense of choice and equality.

on the surface, 1-4 don't quite exist in mlc in particularly meaningful ways to the narrative or are even outright overlooked, and friendship is the relational tie most valued by mlc. we can tell it's true just by looking at the most meaningful relationships in mlc of difanghua. but at the same time, it is more nuanced. we can take a closer look at how the story plays around with most of the ties as part of a broader queer narrative.

1) how mlc rejects the conventional ties

mlc's rejection of mainstream relational ties can be best seen in fdb escaping from marriage. and it was not just any engagement with anybody but an engagement with the imperial family. he struggles with the prospect of being married to princess zhaoling, but generally, it's about the idea of complying to mainstream conventions and expectations that includes compulsory heterosexuality. all these point not only to a defiance against amatonormativity - the resistance of the traditional husband-wife tie, but also an irreverence for the ties of ruler-subject (the engagement being an imperial decree) and father-son (matters of marriage being sole decisions made by parents).

of course this is on top of how fdb's own biological father is a p-o-s, and the narrative gives fdb minimal struggles in this aspect, allowing him to sever this tie without looking back (I love it, yeap). along the same line is how lxy is an orphan, who came to gain important relationships that are built on natural compassion among people rather than innate, blood-based ties - even as llh. the sense of defiance from the narrative is especially stark to me considering that he could have a completely different familial-based life - as a son, brother, and ruler, if his biological family was still around. the narrative also deliberately treats his biological brother as a phantom, replaced with an older brother who he was bonded with neither by blood nor marital ties. on dfs's front, absolutely nothing is to be known about his biological family. his childhood history with the toxic patriarch of his life - who is not even his biological father - was afforded a clean break and closure.

we can keep going on, but that's pretty much the point.

ritualisation is one of the most important things of the confucianism school, especially to the honoring of these social relationships (and the officiating of social roles). the one ceremony/ritual we saw in mlc involving the main characters - or more accurately speaking, came closest to seeing - was the imminent wedding ceremony of dfs and jlq. even in that case, it was premised on non-mutuality with dfs being the unwilling, passive party. (fem-coded dfs? 25 marks.)

and that brings us to the next part.

2) how mlc repurposes these ties

that particular wedding ceremony gets hijacked by dfs and lxy/llh, and gets turned into an important milestone in their relationship. they consummate - what is on text - their friendship after a long time being more enemies and rivals than friends. it is a clear establishment of the trust they have for each other. and here it is where I circle back to the subject of this post: friendships as marital ties.

in this article, as a part of a feminist, egalitarian reframing of confucianism, there is a proposal for spousal relationships to be reframed as a friendship tie. (this aligns with the interrelatedness of the five ties eg. the ruler-subject mirrors father-son dynamic, with the confucian belief that rulers have an obligation to their subjects alike parents to their own children.) by doing so, it removes the functional, gendered differentiation assigned to marital ties, and shifts it to something equal, and independent of gender. you exalt the value of trust between spouses, instead of basing marital relationships on gendered roles. as such, spouses become more like friends, and conversely, friends can also become more like spouses. (romance not a prerequisite. it has never been about romance anyway.)

given that mlc has repeatedly applied marital motifs to llh and dfs's characters in their joint narratives, this opens up a reading friendships as a marital tie. seeing marriage as a bridge for strangers to become family, marriage in mlc becomes a metaphor for the chosen commitment and mutual trust put in by strangers/friends (non-familial ties) into the becoming of family. the blurring of lines between marital ties and friendship encourages a genuine space of queer experience that goes beyond any pressure for strict labels - of sexuality, and relationships as romantic, sexual, etc etc.

(note: despite the borrowing of a feminist concept, I strongly hesitate to call mlc a feminist story. it's a whole discussion - or debate - on its own. nevertheless, it is definitely a gender-conscious story that lays foundation for a strong queer and egalitarian reading.)

it is to be noted that it is intended - and also beneficial to take the confucian framework of relational ties beyond face value. the framework offers what it believed to be the most fundamental social relationship dynamics, and sees room for extension and matching to other kinds of relationships (all if not, most). a relationship such as teacher-student, which is outside of the five ties stated, can also mirror the affection of father-son ties, albeit not in a literal and identical way.

speaking of which. fdb and lxy/llh.

indeed they're known by others to be good friends. fdb thinks they're good friends too - insists on it, and puts his best efforts in keeping it that way. but does it really go both ways? if it does not, then can it really still be friendship? my humble take is that, ultimately - weighing in with llh's perspective - this is a relationship that is not so much based on trust, and rather, based on an innate affection that is only unique to family. (in this case, not blood/marital-based but one that was chosen and built aka lxy's relationship with sgd.) in other words, less of a friendship, more of a familial one.

it is a lot clearer considering their relationship from llh's point of view: some brat you never wanted in your life came barging in, and whether he was going to bring any positive effect to your life was secondary to the tranquility - which you have carved for yourself in the past decade - that is so integral to your personhood. no way. but the moment you hear that he's family? well, that changes the game completely. even before learning about fdb being sgd's son (then beginning to take initiative in showing greater acceptance), it is apparent in llh that there was an instinctive resonance with fdb as his shixiong's nephew. (eg. he remarked to his shifu's grave about how alike fdb is to himself.) this is unlike with dfs whom he had taken a much longer time to build trust with. you do not apply trust - aka the quality of friendships - to family. family is something deeper, more instinctive than that. if fdb was never family, I find it hard to imagine given llh's personality, that he would have let some brazen, bratty stranger intrude for that long. (boy invited himself to llh's home, sat himself down eating the owner's dinner and nosing in his cooking abilities!!! ily bb but that was uncalled for 😭)

of course there are many more layers in their relationship. there is a substantial degree of their history as (unwitting) teacher-disciple: fdb is still healthy and alive all thanks to the existence of lxy as a spiritual teacher role model in his life, regardless it being one-sided or not. there is also indeed some part of friendship in it, especially from fdb's point of view. he sees llh as a kindred spirit who he could enjoy a life of freedom with for life. but llh never reciprocates. he knew this was short-lived. and so ultimately, the hierarchical layer of their relationship overpowers the equal one, where llh's treatment of fdb as a nephew/小辈 younger family member and a disciple is the one that sealed the fate of their relationship.

if (blood-based) familial ties are irrelevant in jianghu, then the closest proxy to a father-son relationship in the martial world would be a teacher-disciple relationship. lxy and his shifu are a clear, indisputable example. for fdb and llh, their teacher-disciple tie is murkier and not consistently applied. they were also never ritualised as teacher-disciple, and thus are not teacher-disciple in any official capacity as far as confucian ideas are concerned. yet in crucial moments, it is invoked by llh as a card of authority over fdb to get out of sticky situations with fdb. and there was their final scene together: in a moment of sincerity, llh gives the approval to fdb as his disciple - then entrusting fdb with the secret manual of his techniques, up until his final letter in which fdb was recommended to dfs as a successor to his martial abilities.

in an imperial setting, this would have been the relationship of an emperor and his crown prince that straddles both ruler-subject and father-son ties aka a tag-team of disaster. the teacher has an obligation to nurture his disciple as a successor to himself, and love him like a son too. on the flipside, he holds the final power in their relationship - withholding knowledge and feelings from the younger one. they are only equals in a way a parent-child can be. they are only equals as much as the parent allows. and this is how fdb got left behind in the dust of llh's departure. he was the child treating his parent like a friend, supporting him emotionally and begging to be loved back the same way he loves his parent - but the parent had a lifetime way ahead of him and stayed out of his reach, physically and emotionally.

llh and fdb operate with the trapping of a friendship but have always been family in the core. llh had known that way before fdb did, just like everything else he had known and put out of fdb's reach. because. fdb did not have to know. fdb is different and will forge his own path. and that's a kind of love llh has for him that nobody understands (in fact not even fdb himself) - one that is on a different plane from friendships.

by repurposing the framework of relational ties, mlc showed that the essence of familial relationships aka its intimacy and closeness can be independent from biology and formalised rituals. and it is important to myself for stories to say that people can build close ties and deeply meaningful relationships even without being born or ritualised into any.

then back to how these relational ties are inextricable from the conceptualisation of the 'self' in confucian worldview: the roles you play in these relationships are intended to define you. there is no 'self' independent from it. while the concept of a social, relational self is fully rooted in reality, being locked into social roles can be a painful way to live - a way that llh has experienced as lxy the sigu sect leader. so, in order for lxy/llh to realise a sense of self that exists outside the norms, it inevitably points to another way that requires a cut from these relationships. that is then the buddhist (or taoist) answer of looking past attachments to the world such as the confucian idea of relationships defining your being. only with a dissolution of a sense of 'self', can there be true liberation.

#莲花楼 #mysterious lotus casebook #lhlmeta #lhl #my posts #dihua #can't believe this is how i choose to spend an inordinate amt of my free time 😐😐 being a broken recorder of brainrot 😐#anw the handful of fanghua moments that have moved me are the ones that are about the unbridgeable gap between them as 长辈小辈 as 徒弟师父 #(me realising lxy telling fdb 这个徒弟我没有白收 actually drives me nuts)#me: a brainrot-level dihua shipper first and foremost. also me: dedicating more of this meta to fanghua than dihua #about how fanghua's relationship is its own unique kind in the story. equally deep as dihua. just in a wholly different way.#dihua are friends and married and familial. but fanghua is family through and through #-> tl;dr of this meta actually #i just have extremely strong feelings about fanghua as a complicated little family unit.#which is independent of “shipping” FOR ME. but for anyone else though you can make anything out of it.#(gotta admit i'm a bit antsy about posting this and is uncertain how it's gonna be read. bc my reading of fanghua is so specific...well)#anyways. obsessed with dihua appropriating the heteronormative rituals <3 #edit: I CAN'T BELIEVE I FORGOT TO TALK ABOUT DIFANG aaaAAAGHHHHHHHHHH #but. it's true they're very purely friendship-based i think

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homestuckexamination · 3 months

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okay, you do homestuck, right? ive got this project idea in the works. basically, its homestuck, but thematically inverted. i havent actually finished homestuck, but I made it a long way in, to around Dirk's Derse Coup. i have some questions if you dont mind.

first of all, ive observed thus far that Homestuck id about discarding yourself. characters gradually lose defining traits and get closer to the platonic ideals of their classpects. strife specibi seem to represent that which ails our heroes. to become a god, you must sacrifice your earthly waking body on a magic bed, succumbing to an endless sleep to live forever within a dream. for my version, I wanted to do the opposite, having characters become more of themselves instead of less, and kill their dreamselves to truly "wake up," but first i need to know if these observations are actually valid if you read the whole story, and more generally, how valid is this idea?

any help would be appreciated, thanks!

Now let me preface this by saying: You can do anything at all. You're not restricted by anything other than your own creativity, and largely speaking, so long as you think it's cool/works, any approach is valid. Similarly, Death of the Authro, yadda yadda, there's all manner of divergent readings on a text. So anything regarding personal projects is really largely up to the taste of the author.

That being said, if you're asking me on my take on this theme in the text of Homestuck, I'd say that while you've definitely noticed one of the Big Themes of Homestuck, I'd argue the way Homestuck goes about it is the inverse- Taking the 'Platonic Ideal' of a character, while some characters that achieve Ultimate Self status are in fact better off, namely the Sprites or those sidelined in some way, the loss of self that comes with it is largely showcased as a Bad Thing in the instance of those who already were more important/relevant to the main cast. Even then, and while intrinsically tied to their Classpect, the characters still have their own particular spins on the Classpects- A Classpect is too broad a concept to have a singular 'Platonic Ideal', just as often times the Platonic Ideal of their character can contain contradictions in the 'whole' of their existence!

Homestuck is, first and foremost, a Coming of Age story about Teens growing up into Adulthood, with all the pain, trauma and baggage of carrying the legacy of their world, and their families, on their shoulders, in one way or another. SBURB wants the characters to go through an Arc, develop, and become worthy gods, but as we see time and time again, this is not always necessarily in a character's best interest, and the idea of the Self, what makes you You, if you're still You as time passes, as your body changes, as you become something metaphysically completely detached from what you used to be, and how this affects your interpersonal relationships and your relationship to the world around you, is far more complex than simply 'discarding traits to become closer to your Classpect's Platonic Ideal'.

You succumb to sleep in the Quest Bed, but simultaneously, you do wake up as your Dream Self. Whether you take this as being taken by this Platonic Dream, or truly Waking Up to the true nature of your existence, that's a matter of taste and views. Likewise, this doesn't make the characters that didn't God Tier or die and become their Dream Self any less likely to undergo changes to their Self and 'wake up' in their own right.

It's a complex story! It tackles a lot of themes of the self, agency, growing up and the like, and that is always messy. Some are happier becoming something else. Some cling to what they were. Some were always hiding what they truly were. Some are still figuring out. And that's fine. The metaphysics of SBURB are a device to explore the different ways all of this affects the characters! So the most important thing I'd say is less the validity of the observation in regards to an Inverted Version of Homestuck based on your views, and more:

How would this scenario affect the characters differently, and what new hurdles/feelings/predicaments would this create in their development and the story?

#Homestuck #HSE #Dream Self #Class #Aspect #Prospit #Derse

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meowthefluffy · 8 months

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An update on my unfinished au’s!

I have over the last few months fallen deeply out of love with the Sanders Sides series and as a result I have not updated any of my projects in some time. At the current point I am at I am only planning to do the final two installments in the cupid au (because I pretty much lost my affection for the ts series right before the big finale of the project!!) and the lust Roman au (as it is my longest running work to date and I want to comple the project as a show of dedication to my younger self) although it will most likely be on a much quicker time scale than I was intending originally! (Instead of the 11 more parts I was hoping to produce it will probably be closer to 5 and I will most likely skip a few parts of the story that weren’t as important)

I feel a lot of affection for the work I have created but not a lot for the actual series so I’m trying to find a way to rework the stories I’ve created for the au’s to become independent creations that I will enjoy continuing to make! (Aside from the Lust au which I feel is mostly a story I don’t feel the need to come back to/rework since it relies so heavily on the source material) Most of my au’s function as stories mostly separate from canon material except for the characters archetypes present in each, so I’ll be working on retooling/reskinning said work to be more original and workable as long term projects! (Since u guys were really invest in my plots which had almost nothing to do with the canon characterization)

I’m currently working on retooling the Zombie au (Which I used as heavy inspiration for my oc Sophia I sometimes post about and her girlfriend) the Cupid au (I’m putting together more creative designs for the characters so that I can hopefully redo the comic- since I’m super in love with the concept) The sleeping beauty au (since it functions entirely the same as a stand alone story- and I could use the designs of my princess characters from that comic I made a long time ago for Valentine’s Day ) and the Super hero au! (Which I never properly defined and thus have a lot of incomplete ideas for, and my only struggle is coming up with better super hero names for them)

The only one of my main au’s I probably won’t rework is the Evil king au- just because I’m not sure how I could retool it to not just be a story about abuse(I feel more comfortable creating a story where everything is horrible and bad and the people involved are just bad for eachother when it’s an au- because there is other work of those characters where they aren’t that way to balance it out- but if it were my own new characters I feel as though it wouldn’t be nearly as fun to read or write)

This is a series of decisions I’ve been trying to wait on for a long time because I have been hoping something sanders Sides related would come out soon that would re spark my interest but nothing so far has happened- and with the way the story is going I don’t think it’s something that is going to happen. I still love all the work I have created for this fandom and I am so proud of all the collaborative projects I have been able to create with you all! I will happily re-read your asks and comments on my comics and I am still really proud of the community I’ve been able to create!

I’m sad to let this part of my life go (it’s taken up a solid 4th of my lifetime) and I understand that a lot of you all won’t follow me to my new projects- because I understand you guys didn’t come here for random oc projects- or original comics. And Altho it breaks my heart to see some of you move on and leave my notifications I am happy I the time with you all that I did!

Thank you all for everything- and I’ll see you soon 💖

#Im going to use the Prinxiety tags so that more people will see this post- since I am one of the bigger Prinxiety centric creators)#prinxiety #ts roman #tsvirgil #virgil sanders #cupid! au #sanders sides #roman sanders

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vro0m · 4 months

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2016 season summary

Alright let’s get the general stuff out the way first because we all know this is mainly gonna be about brocedes anyway.

General stuff :

First of all F1 really fucked up with trying to change quali and with the incredibly stupid radio ban. Also they’ve been sold to Liberty media so you know things are gonna change.

At the start of the season Ferrari looks pretty good but they’re not winning the development war. For RedBull : there’s the controversial swap with Max making it into the A-Team after just 4 races. The relationship between Daniel and Max is interesting. There’s a clear time when you can tell Ricciardo starts feeling threatened by the kid. They’re getting closer and closer to Mercedes as well. And of course there’s literally a whole rule added by Charlie because of how Max drives, i.e. dangerously.

Okay now let’s get to the main topic, brocedes :

Look. It’s gonna be difficult to write this because what hasn’t been written about it already? I’m not gonna have a smarter or original thing to say, so I guess all I can do is give my own outlook on things.

First of all, I do agree Nico probably would not have won a title if it wasn’t for Lewis’ bad luck. But it doesn’t actually matter. Luck is part of the sport. In 2015, Nico was the unlucky one out of the two. That’s just how it is : you need a good driver in a good car with a good strategy but if your driver is unlucky none of it counts.

Reliability is also not the only problem Lewis faces that season. Because of it and because of the mechanics swap (which imo was a very poor managerial decision btw, way too radical), he gets very very deep in his head. Adaptability is truly not his best trait, to this day. He’s very unhappy about the swap, and then he gets paranoid with the reliability issues, even suggesting some conspiracy theory at some point (Malaysia - and yeah I absolutely do not believe the official Merc version that he was alluding to a higher power rather than someone sabotaging him). He just can’t get over himself, not that it would have changed much of anything to his engine repeatedly failing.

Thus, Lewis’ self-narration progressively goes from “I’m heroically battling the odds and not giving up” to “he’s only winning because I had reliability issues” when it becomes clear he’s only gonna beat Nico through actual divine intervention. He’s absolutely unable to recognize Nico’s work. Even after Nico has won, he keeps saying “I don’t wanna take anything away from him, he did everything he had to this year BUT”. And he just can’t let go of that “but”. He says it every single time. He can’t accept that he lost, or maybe he can’t accept that Nico won. I know I keep saying it but once again : Nico won against someone he saw as better than him, and Lewis lost to someone who he saw as not as good as he is. And he can’t accept it. And that’s why to this day, Nico is able to talk freely about their rivalry and about Lewis, and Lewis can’t.

And – sorry for this personal vendetta but yes, I’m gonna mention it – the funny thing about this is, Lewis early on in the season (Bahrain GP) said in an interview that the issue with racing now is that drivers get coaches when psychologists just mess with your mind and they don’t need all that. Meanwhile Nico credited part of what allowed him to win that year to working “extremely intensely” with a sport psychologist. So. Yeah. Just saying. Maybe if he worked with a psychologist he wouldn’t have gotten that paranoid but who knows. Anyway, moving on. This really isn’t Lewis’ best year. That’s probably the least likeable I’ve seen him. And I understand why some people saw him as arrogant. Because he fucking is. (Doesn’t matter btw, I love a cocky asshole, but it’s honest to mention it I think.)

I’m absolutely fascinated with Nico’s departure as well. We’ve talked about it a bit in the last review but of course I’m gonna talk about it again. Right when I started watching the brocedes era for this rewatch (which, again, up to this point isn’t really a rewatch but a watch), I mentioned that being in this fandom without actually having seen it with my own two eyes gave me the very wrong picture of what it was like. Nico has been demonised a lot by Lewis’ fans, and I don’t think most of it was justified. I also think a lot of newer fans interpret the story with the current Lewis in mind (i.e. generally extremely clean racer, very good at media com, very good at portraying himself as good and above petty disputes – whether he truly is above them remains to be proven) but Lewis was an asshole much more outwardly at the time it happened, and he still had a lot of maturing to do, and his com was pretty bad (think of the Japanese GP snapchat scandal stupidity, I mean… the whole thing was ridiculous to being with, but he unfortunately handled it very poorly as well – if such a thing happened today he would react very differently). Anyway, I will forever wonder whether it could have been possible for them to have such a rivalry in a mature way later on, or if the fact that it’s THEM makes it impossible for them to be mature about it, in the way siblings can never fight without all the weight of their childhood on their backs.

Similarly, I feel like when you don’t know the actual story, like I mentioned in the Abu Dhabi review, it seems like Lewis won the war as Nico gave up on F1. But that’s not true. And look. You know I don’t really do fanfiction but I want to say that the first person who opened my eyes to it even before I got to the end of the season and saw it for myself was Akira (@effervescentdragon) in this ficlet. Credit where it’s due, what she wrote really stayed with me while watching the end of this season. Anyway, forgive me for quoting myself from the last race review, but there’s no use paraphrasing something I already wrote :

And I think it’s an important thing to finish on. Because a lot of people have said (I mean I’ve just read it in one of the articles I’ve read for this conclusion) that Nico won the battle but Lewis won the war because Nico basically gave up. I myself have alluded to this in the “Lewis breaks his teammates essay”. Lewis did break Nico. I mean Nico said pretty plainly that he was unable (but maybe more importantly unwilling) to keep putting so much effort into beating Lewis. But Lewis didn’t win the war, Nico did. Because Lewis never got to beat him again. [...] And Nico robbed him of a chance to set things right in his mind. In the story of their rivalry, the last thing that happened is, and will forever be : Nico won. And that’s Nico’s everlasting victory.

Let’s talk numbers : so far, I’ve completed 56.6% of my rewatch. In total, I’ve made 1,862 GIFs to illustrate it.

Here’s a list of the 2016 GPs with a quick summary and the link to the actual recap if you wanna read it or take a look at the GIFs I made :

Australian GP : season context, quali fiasco, Lewis pole, interviews, bad start, horrible crash with a redflag, slight Toro Rosso drama, Lewis P2

Bahrain GP : quali fiasco still being revised, Lewis pole, Alonso is NOT back, another interview, Angela, got overtaken by nico then contact with val, pretty good racing but not at the front, Lewis P3

Chinese GP : absolute disaster of a weekend, first PU failure, chaotic start, three pit stops in the first ten laps???, lots of overtakes, Lewis p7

Russian GP : abysmally stupid halo conversation, second PU failure + issues during the race, messy messy start, mechanics swap, lewis P2, bonus

Spanish GP : lewis pole, Max promoted to RedBull, obviously well. Double DNF.

Monaco GP : not on pole, mixed conditions, but still 44th win!

Canadian GP : controversial start incident, battle with Seb, nice podium, the seagull incident, Ted being very partial, Lewis wins!

European GP : bad quali and another engine problem, stupid radio ban, Lewis P5

Austrian GP : pole!, complicated race, shocking plot twist, lots of post race debrief, Lewis wins

British GP : Lewis pole, karting interview, wet start, loads of cars losing it, radio ban issue for Nico, Lewis wins

Hungarian GP : huge quali controversy, the radio ban gets even stupider, possibly some shady backing up and brake issues?, Lewis wins, championship lead! Raikkonen doesn’t like Max’s driving

German GP : Nico interview, strategy group meeting, pretty boring race, Lewis wins

Belgian GP : engine penalty, terrible Brundle opinions on the halo, incredibly chaotic race, Lewis P3 after an extreme recovery

Italian GP : extremely boring race, nothing to say, Lewis P2

Singapore GP : chaotic start, very very weird strategy calls, Lewis P3

Malaysian GP : fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck (but more seriously : turning point moment?, tragic ending, hurt no comfort, conspiracy theories, etc.)

Japanese GP : Snapchat controversy, another bad start, many overtakes early on, suspenseful ending, WCC decider

US GP : Lewis interview, Lewis pole, but more reliability problems, Lewis’ 50th win! Adorable podium.

Mexican GP : Lewis pole Lewis win, but nobody cares because there’s incredible drama between Max and Seb, none of your business

Brazilian GP : very very chaotic wet race, Massa’s last home race, lovely radio, baby Charles is in love, Lewis win

Abu Dhabi GP : obvious title decider, some stuff about Nico’s decision to leave F1

#f1 #lewis hamilton #vro0m's race reviews #2016 #2016 season summary

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nightmarist · 4 days

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more zevwyll propaganda:

Wyll is the Blade of Frontiers and of course will help anyone he can. he grew up in a city surrounded by stories of essentially fairytales that were real, heroes and villains, his own father is a hero who now leads a city guard, Wyll must absolutely love to think about the Flaming Fist as heroes and protectors.

Zevlor is a commander of the Hellriders, another infamous group of city guard who are known to have actually gone into Hell to fight devils alongside an angel (Zariel). While this event was before Zevlor's time, it is the factor in their infamy and many people in Elturel grow up being Horse People(tm) because they want to get an upper hand in trying to join the riders. He is an older man in position of power over the very kind of fairytale hero knights Wyll grew up with.

Zevlor passes no judgements to anyone, or at the least is very smooth about not making his judgements known. He is very pragmatic and straight forward as an experienced commanding officer and as a Paladin, even without an oath, he takes on the tieflings as his charges to aid them with a deep sense of community - who else will help them if not their own kind?

Wyll goes out of his way to help the tieflings. I also HC that he had likely hoped to find his father among them, since Ulder was sent to Elturel and thus descended into Avernus with the purpose of Baldur's Gate being left to defend itself.

I LOVE the idea that Wyll, exile of Baldur's Gate, is helping the tiefling exiles from Elturel. From one exile to another. Unwanted by the people they thought would care the most.

They are both deeply earnest and have strong resolve over helping others to the point of self-sacrifice and martyr complex.

Wyll being good at helping children, he was so gentle with Umi and the other kids and even wants his own someday.

Zevlor was specifically worried about the children in the attack, which is a fair concern for anyone, and while we can sit here all day about the ifs and buts of removed or changed content, I want to point out he used to be a school teacher before he was changed to a Hellrider. I like to imagine his retirement from soldiering begin one he can have his own school in Baldur's Gate, especially for the disparaged or underprivileged. If they have children together they would have the sweetest, caring, protective fathers.

Wyll is basically a prince of Baldur's Gate. please imagine a Prince x Knight dynamic between them. Fiercely loyal. A devil-touched prince with a "devilkin" at his side for the haters.

Zevlor being a much older man and closer to Wyll's father's age would probably make Ulder even more mad. <3

Finding calm, solace, and comfort in each other after having to bear the burdens of their exile, putting aside themselves for the sake of others, sacrificing so much to save and help people, and with each other they can finally just Be.

Being enthralled!

Wyll tricked by Mizora to give up his own soul as a teenager to save another child, being forced to make a horrible decision that rended his exile, and again by Mizora to nearly kill an innocent tiefling - Karlach - and upon refusing to harm an innocent he was punished, forced to undergo painful transformation, the utter humiliation and the extreme lack of of autonomy and trauma to his becoming a fiend. He would rather undergo mutilation and harm and punishment than hurt the innocent.

Zevlor is a tiefling. But he’s an old tiefling. He didn’t undergo the transformation but it was barely a generation before him, his own parents probably, that thousands or more were forced undergo change at Asmodeus’ hand in dnd lore. The book about the event is by his bedroll. He was forced to break his Hellrider oath of serving Elturel when Elturel exiled him and it thus broke his paladin oath. A part of him was lost, hollowed out. And he was tricked by the Absolute, believing the one thing that could make him whole was within his grasp, that if he succumbed to being its thrall then his people could be spared.

#bg3 #zevlor #wyll ravengard #zevwyll #i said some of this on my fic blog already but i just. HHHH. join me. please. there is so much potential in them.#also im just obsessed with the ever classic older man younger man gay dynamic. gay take as old as time. quite fucking literally.

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peppertaemint · 6 months

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I'm curious about your analysis or even just your take in the meaning of Guilty (both MV and song together as a whole). Along with the teaser/trailer and the mention of Bataille's book, the whole thing seems to be a complicated onion with so many contradicting facets. But if you ignore all of that and just watch the MV, then it is rather a straightforward "hurt people hurt people" and some Lord of the Flies reference. But my head keeps thinking it's more convoluted than that lol. Would you tell me what you think the MV is about? :D

My initial take is pretty straightforward but completely undercooked, lol. This is my unvarnished and un-researched take.

I think that the concept has to do with sin and behaviour outside of expected moral bounds. I think this is where the eroticism comes into play. The dance involves self touching, which can be a hint towards the "sin" of masturbation. His character seems to be held in a place where he is tightly controlled and conditioned, and he experiences physical abuse as a form of behaviour control. It seems like he could be in a place where children are taken to correct "sinful" behaviour, perhaps to correct gender dysphoria, or androgyny, or homosexuality, sins of masturbation, promiscuity, et cetera.

Some of the George Bataille quotes I've seen centre on how eroticism and violence and death are linked. I think the eroticism here is less surface or obvious. People expected this sort of Madonna style sexuality of his previous work, but that's not what we're getting here. It's taking criminal to a whole different level.

There is a link between the sensuality of violence and that of traditional eroticism. This is a bit mindbending. The best example I can think to explain right now is David Cronenberg's Crash. Passion and eroticism are linked literally with the bodily experience of a car crash, its violence and trauma. The violent climax of the car crash is likened to the ecstasy of orgasm. In Taemin's Guilty, the ecstasy of orgasm is linked to a different type of harm to the body and the mind. At the very beginning of the video, how he runs away and has a sort of fit, it's rather orgasmic. I think he's showing us the ecstasy of harm and losing control in many parts.

The video is more complex than it seems on the surface, I think. On first watch, I think it's easy to say okay well he's breaking free of something blah blah blah. I think over the coming days when we actually look at the details closer, we'll see a lot more there.

The entire sequence in this outfit and its setting hasn't been touched upon. The dance that he does in thus setting reminds me of the just me and you contemporary dance performance. I do think there is the struggle of gender underpinning the entire concept, but also a struggle with sexuality and the corporeality of eroticism that so many find sinful.

In quite a few concepts, he has explored the idea of ecstasy through being destroyed or destroying oneself. I think this is another iteration of that. Another exploration. And I think he's done a brilliant job of elucidating that ecstasy in a new way that is really centred on a unique contemporary dance style. many people have said that he's able to tell a story through his dance and I think this is another great example of that. He's merged cinema and dance into a narrative form to the point where almost feels like it's own language.

I'm not sure where I fall in the Lord of the flies references anymore, but surely there are some present. And we see his character becoming worshipped. But I think there's also a consideration as to what is real and what is not and how many narratives are present in this piece of cinema. Perhaps certain sequences are the daydreams of someone locked up. They could be the fantasies of someone who is not free. Does he escape? Does he get liberated? Those are interesting questions to consider.

#sorry my thoughts are a hot mess #taemin #lee taemin #taemin guilty #guilty MV

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piratefishmama · 6 months

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I got tagged in a questions thingy.

by: @w1ll0wtr33 thanks sweets!

1. Are you named after anyone?

Nope, my name was in fact a mistake made by a nurse! It was supposed to be a hyphenated combination of my first and middle name, but the person doing the birth certificate made an error.

2. when was the last time you cried?

Like… fully? Uhm. August? The day before my dad got out of the hospital I had a full blown panic attack cause I knew I’d be alone in taking care of his asshole self and wasn’t prepared to do that. There was crying involved in that.

3. do you have kids?

I would sooner rip my own uterus and womb out, Netflix Witcher style than have children.

Storytime: My mum once bought me a £75 stroller and doll, an this was years ago, like, single digits age range so that was EXPENSIVE for the time (fuck man, it’s expensive now lmao), I… left it out as far away from the house as I, at my age, could... in the rain. An it was all silk and satin material so it was well and truly fucked.

They stopped expecting eventual grandchildren from me very early on in my life.

4. What sports do you/have you play/played?

Does archery count? I feel like archery should count lmao I do archery, and I used to do ju-jitsu, I have medals somewhere for ju-jitsu, god knows where though my medals were never worth keeping track of apparently. My brother's are in his old room.

5. Do you use sarcasm?

Fluently.

6. what’s the first thing you notice about people?

That they’ve invaded my carefully curated alone time and thus have become my enemy.

7. what’s your eye colour?

Hazel, with more green than brown.

They're also my favourite eye colour too! there’s so many variations of it, do you have more green or brown in it? is there a ring of darker colour around your iris or not? Hazel has so many variations it’s such a pretty eye colour to have and it changes. Hazel eyes are magic.

8. scary movies or happy endings?

Thanks to my truly stellar vivid imagination and Childhood Trauma™️, I cannot watch scary movies. At least not ones that have plausibility. Like they could happen. Because for some reason, everytime I watch one of those, my brain ever so lovingly decides to recreate the movie in the form of a nightmare where all the starring cast are people I actually care about an I’m just. watching them all die.

It's never fun. And I can never escape it. Even waking up, if I go to sleep, I will go right back into that nightmare, there’s no escape.

9. any talents?

Many! i have ADHD and autism, I have so many random skills. The only one I can reliably do on command though is writing. I can draw, paint, sew, sing, dance, and many others… sometimes, but the only one I can reliably do without fail, is write.

10. where were you born?

Britain. You don’t get closer than that I ain’t about to dox myself.

11. what are your hobbies?

Writing, reading, video games, creating shit.

12. do you have any pets?

Hope and Shadow are my two dogs, you all know them by now I’m sure. I have a shitton of tropical fish in tanks both upstairs and down, I did have a very smol bird but I had to put him up for adoption as unfortunately he and Hope simply did not get along, she made him very anxious and he made her hungry for bird.

13. how tall are you?

I’m tiny, 4’11.

14. favourite subject in school?

English. I had a great teacher. It would have been art but unfortunately I hated my teacher, and my teacher hated me and that made the lessons very uncomfortable.

15. dream job?

I would love to work with animals. Animals are easier than people.

And no, i'm not tagging people.

#tag games #personal

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thewertsearch · 1 year

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An auspistice can stabilize particularly turbulent relationships. If the auspistice fails to mediate properly, or has no interest in the role, or perhaps has different romantic intentions him/herself altogether, then the relationship often quickly deteriorates into one of an especially hostile and torrid nature.

Kanaya's into Vriska, both as a matesprit and an auspistice - but you're supposed to pick just one. If you don't, conflicts of interest are inevitable.

Kanaya made a dress for her crush, and it ended up facilitating the very kismesissitude she was mediating against.

Forget about that, though. Let's talk about this hot mess.

Tavros Nitram, I am talking directly to you now. If you have any romantic feelings for Vriska, please love yourself, and don't give them the time of day.

Nepeta and Equius. These two have a bizarre relationship, and I guess we're finally getting into it.

Trolls are a very angry and violent race. Some are more hot-tempered and dangerous than others, to the extent that if left to their own devices, they would present a serious threat to society, or even to themselves. Such trolls will have an instinctive pale attraction to a more even-tempered troll, who may become their MOIRAIL.

This clearly applies to Equius and CA - but let's take a closer look at Vriska, arguably the most dangerous troll of all.

She claims not to appreciate Kanaya's meddling, but since she immediately dares her to meddle more, I think she's actually the pale equivalent of a tsundere.

Vriska's pale attraction is there - but she doesn't accept it, because she doesn't want to need anyone.

The moirail is obliged to pacify the other, to function as the better half. The two partners in a strong pale relationship will serve to balance and complement each other's emotional profiles, and thus allow their other relationships to be more successful.

A violent troll seeks out a more relaxed peer, and that peer is obliged to pacify them. It's similar to auspisticism, but you're pacifying one troll instead of two. Plus, since this is red romance, it's a troll you actually like.

It also sounds like both parties in the moirallegiance are supposed to emotionally support each other. I assume the hot-tempered troll would teach confidence and self-assurance, while the pacifier would teach patience and restraint.

I understand why this quadrant exists. It's another way for trolls to ensure emotional stability, in lieu of supportive parents - at least to the degree that they don't all murder each other before the interstellar draft.

It seems like it's really hard to stop these guys from killing each other, and a lot of troll culture is designed to keep them pacified. I wonder how they survived in the pre-civilization days?

Now that we know what a moirallegiance is, we can see that it doesn't match Nepeta and Equius at all.

Nepeta's relationship with Equius seems to be based on fear, rather than love - and if she's trying to avoid 'kerfuffles' with him, it doesn't seem like she's succeeded in quelling his violent impulses.

I guess it's always possible that Equius is pacifying the rather violent Nepeta, rather than the other way round. That would explain why he takes issue with her profanity - he's trying to keep her calm.

Still, while Nepeta is violent, it doesn't seem like she's a danger to herself, or anyone else - she's living, quietly and self-sufficiently, in a cave. Plus, Equius doesn't fit the emotional profile of an 'even-tempered' pacifier, and it doesn't explain why Nepeta is in a redrom with someone she's afraid of. I'm stumped.

Furthermore, romantic intentions of a more flushed nature can often be mistaken for paler leanings, much to the frustration of the suitor.

Oh, yeah - this would happen constantly. No teenager is going to communicate any of this accurately, even to themselves.

It's hard, being a troll and growing up. It's hard - but I'm trying to understand.

#homestuck liveblog #full liveblog #act 5 #s37 #2400

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mdhwrites · 5 months

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I really love your post about why the anti-discrimination theme falls flat on TOH.

Honestly, applied to Amphibia, the issue is taken care of. From S1, we saw how frogs are treated and the injustice and inequality in the whole hierarchy. For example, despite being called Frog Valley, there are no frog majors but toad majors like Toadstool and he used to be awful and greedy.

Then we have the toad lords and soldiers who subjugate towns like Grime used to instead of protecting them. And the newts are either annoyingly arrogant like Duckweed or inside their own world, that kind of is explained in how Newtopia looks so fancy while the rest of Amphibia is medieval and surrounded by monsters.

Most importantly, many characters have a point of view or conflict related to the hierarchy and the state of their society. The Dinner and The Three Armies showed the biases of Grime, Beatrix, Hop Pop, Tritonio, and others against each other but instead of leaving it like that to be pessimistic or not addressing it, all Amphibia faced those issues to create a more harmonious and just society for everyone.

Okay so two things first. 1: Context for Amphibia fans is that I did a blog discussing how TOH accidentally discriminates against the demons of the demon realm and only promotes the most human of them, thus making a theme of anti-discrimination... Rough to put it mildly. Link here. 2: I don't think Amphibia explicitly has a theme of anti-discrimination either. It touches on it in ways but those ways are mostly due to one of its other core themes: Community. That's not all surprising either because it's hard to talk about community without also talking about inclusivity to those communities and allowing those communities to at least have a personality.

Now yes, you're absolutely right that the end of the series actually explicitly discusses the actual bigotry that each culture has towards each other in admittedly not my favorite but a fine episode. I actually want to expand from just the literal text though for why I think Amphibia does such a good job at not demonizing any of the races despite the fact that two of them may as well exist to be villainous. After all, the toads and the newts are often adversaries to the main characters. Wasn't that a problem for TOH?

Yes... Which makes it a good thing that the first adversary for Anne is the frogs.

Actually deep diving how Amphibia handles race, inclusivity, etc. like that is FASCINATING. You could probably do an entire college essay based solely on this one aspect because the show actually portrays multiple versions of communities and acceptance into them masterfully. I'm going to only briefly touch on each but I could probably say more on all of them and this actually includes humans as well which arguably might be Amphibia's one stumble on the issue but it's not a big one.

Let's start with that inflammatory line though. Of all the races, the frogs are actually just explicitly the most racist. They are against ANYTHING they don't know. Even other humans after Anne are entirely based on their perception of Anne. It actually takes Anne returning and showing fallibility for Sasha to become her own person to the community who is on par with Anne despite all she's done for them. Before then, the closer you are to her in their eyes, the more acceptable you are. They explicitly state this with Marcy. Otherwise, you're just a weird thing to potentially be purged because you are dangerous for being unknown. This is explicitly something Anne has to overcome, including one episode where she becomes popular by becoming more frog-like through her zits. The Plantars are the closest to being progressive in the town and even Polly can get swept up into mob mentality when the people get ready to take down Marcy (if I'm remembering the joke right).

The upside to the frogs is supreme loyalty to each other. While Toadstool is self serving and selfish, even he eventually figures out that he likes the frog way of thinking. The community you are a part of means the world to you. It is arguably the most important thing besides family. They play at war with each other because no one can actually hate someone in this community. Once you are in, you have the protection of ALL. It's just getting that acceptance is hard.

So even the race we spend the most time with is actually still flawed in some way. It is not perfect. How about the one that theoretically is the most evil? One could argue the Newts but that's more got to do with the combined culture of Amphibia which we only get Andrias as a main show of besides the one episode in the past. I do not want to say Andrias represents all newts, even if his ideas are still obviously in the current culture of newts, hence why I won't say they're the most antagonistic.

The toads on the other hand are fascinating because while they are brutal conquerors and willing to subjugate others, they're also theoretically the most inclusive. They are the closest to a meritocracy in Amphibia. If you can prove your battle prowess and ability to lead, even a gangly weirdo from another world can rise quickly and take a role of power. However, this culture is also part of why they're such a joke/a problem. The passionate rise to the top while the grunts are mostly going to be complacent and the toads still push a "Got mine, fuck you" mentality so that once a job is done, selfishness takes hold. This is why they're good at taking a city but bad at keeping it because they lack discipline because as a community, they don't have either a national ideal to work for like the newts or each other like the frogs. Each one proves themselves but that also makes each of them in competition with one another. It also explains why they're willing to subjugate a people because if they were worth their own lives, they would be able to resist.

Grime is actually the exception here from everything we can see. Beatrix even takes a loss from a frog better than Grime. Grime is different from a lot of Toads though and seems to hold a more personal need to prove himself, rather than that being strictly personal. He gets knocked down lower on defeat and rises higher in triumph. It takes longer than it likely would have with other captains for him to recognize that Sasha's ability to get rid of her guard is impressive and deserving of re-evaluation because he's not willing to admit he's wrong. He is the one toad who will take a city and stay vigilant because he is stubborn enough to not want to lose those gains no matter the cost, hence why he seems to constantly look for a status quote he can keep a hold of rather than seeking endless glory. Sprig challenges that most explicitly and so he lashes out with anger rather than the admiration that he should. The admiration that the toads who Anne first met liked in her when they thought she could be ruthless and strong. Those toads in fact accepted her WAY faster than even potentially the Plantars as Sprig needed his life to be saved first.

Next let's talk about the newts. We get weirdly more time with their society than even the toads but I don't know how much I'd say we actually learn about it which is an issue with Marcy as well. Buuuut this actually is in line with their culture. They're more of a melting pot where they are both more enlightened in that everyone gets a fair shake but they're much more rigid. It's probably the closest to modern America we get where you CAN apply for an important job but you need the connections, open doors, etc. like that to get it. You can prove yourself but it will only get you so far and people will only care so much.

A large part of this is actually in how the newts specifically treat Marcy. Where as someone so high in the ranks for toads would be respected and have friends simply due to being so outstanding, see Sasha, Marcy has a position but no acceptance beyond that. Respect but no friends. They are willing to use her because she is the most useful tool for a job but they aren't going to act like they'reclose with her for that. Not without, sadly enough, a reason to. Olivia keeps her at arm's length, the other advisors don't really seem to actually have a relationship with her but Andrias does because she fits into his plans best if she trusts him.

Sprig also gets to demonstrate this because his interesting worldview gives him a position in the society but no special treatment besides getting that position. He still has to prove himself in all the same ways and while some quirkiness is allowed, you must keep THEIR peace. Even the frogs allow for more individuality once you are in their community. But again, it's a little rough when it comes to the newts because Marcy isn't actually a look into their culture like Sasha is for the toads as she never gets episodes just about her in Newtopia like Sasha does with Grime. I'd be intrigued about what the journal potentially changes about this.

ANWAYS, for the last one we have the Thai community and humanity. Or more so the former. I don't know if there's a unifying concept for humanity as a whole, which is befitting the treatment of the trio's mix of perspectives as well, but more a theme of optimism. That people may be lazy and a bit self serving but most people's hearts are in the right place. That they care.

The Thai community is the only one I really want to talk about because Thai Temple is admittedly one of my favorite episodes of Amphibia period. As someone who grew up in Alaska, I actually related to Anne not seeing the beauty of her culture really well. There's a highway in Alaska that sandwiches you perfectly besides mountain cliffs and the ocean and it is GORGEOUS. Aaaand I stopped caring about it because it became routine. I closed my mind to it. Like nature will accept you though if you are willing to give it the time, so is the Thai Community at the temple. If you show interest, interest will be shown back. That's why the Plantars are easily adopted into it because the people there want to share who they are, they're probably just not used to people actually being interested.

There's more I could say that dips more into the community aspects but how they treat Anne, Oum and Bea are a different subject (all of it positive and makes me sad as a straight white dude who doesn't keep religion honestly) but yeah, I hope this shows how Amphibia looks at acceptance, community and how different people treat those who are different in varying ways. Like I said, this is also still mostly scratching the surface as probably a lot more could be said about each. Even the original ask brings up how the walls of Newtopia cuts the newts off from nature itself while somewhere like Wartwood has to live in harmony with it.

End of the day though, it's still almost an incidental biproduct that no one in Amphibia feels half baked. Every society has a purpose and role to its storytelling and that helps make it a more cohesive work with a lot less accidents than be interpreted in awful ways. Seriously, if you have not watched Amphibia, GO WATCH AMPHIBIA.

I can guaranty the show will accept you, even if you don't love it like me.

======+++++======

I have a public Discord for any and all who want to join!

I also have an Amazon page for all of my original works in various forms of character focused romances from cute, teenage romance to erotica series of my past. I have an Ao3 for my fanfiction projects as well if that catches your fancy instead. If you want to hang out with me, I stream from time to time and love to chat with chat.

A Twitter you can follow too

And a Kofi if you like what I do and want to help out with the fact that disability doesn’t pay much.

#amphibia #amphibia critical

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bloodpotency · 8 months

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Homebrew V:TM 5e Humanity Track

Hey everyone, just for fun I decided to completely rework the Humanity levels in Vampire 5e. The goal of this homebrew is to take away the “moral-goodness” assigned to high humanity ratings in the original VTM 5e version. This will theoretically give the player more roleplay and gameplay freedom for their character to behave how they want them to instead of equating being a “good” person with being of high humanity, and being an “evil” person equating lower humanity. Instead, I have tried to emphasize a closer connection with one’s beast to the descent down the track. This, I think, makes the Humanity Track more compatible with Sabbat PCs. Any other changes are my own personal preference, like how I think it’s pretty dumb that vampires can only rouse their blood to resemble humans if they are “good” people (and thus cant have sex if they are “too evil”?). This also is designed to give lower humanity vampires some actual gameplay advantages- which I think makes the decision for a PC to remain a good person more compelling as they must resist the temptations of tangible buffs to their stats. Enjoy!

Humanity 10: A great deal of effort is required to achieve this state of unlife, and the storyteller and player must come up with a story event that can allow their character to reach this level. Your beast is entirely in check, almost never a problem except in your absolute darkest moments. Many Kindred pursue this level of humanity in hopes of achieving Golconda- a nirvana-like state of complete peace between the human and monster within.

You are able to eat and drink all human food and process it without having to throw it up- although it does not sate your Hunger.

With the beast within you so thoroughly leashed, you require significantly less blood to thrive. You get a pool of 4 dice to rouse your blood at the start of each night, and still only require 1 success to avoid getting hungrier.

No matter the circumstance, your control of your beast is stronger than it could ever be over you. You do not ever have to roll for Frenzy.

You take only halved superficial damage sunlight every turn when exposed to it.

You heal Superficial damage as a mortal, in addition to vampiric mending.

You are capable of dreaming while in Daysleep.

Torpor Length: 12 Hours

Humanity 9: Most humans do not rise any higher than this level on the humanity track. You do not let the harsh sting of your Beast's hunger control you, and through steeled principles you are a master of your own actions. The beast rarely gets through to you, and if it does, you are able to keep it in the back of your mind while you feed.

You are able to eat and drink all human food and process it without having to throw it up- although it does not sate your Hunger.

With the beast within you leashed, you require much less blood to thrive. You get a pool of 3 dice to rouse your blood at the start of each night, and still only require 1 success to avoid getting hungrier.

The allure of spilled blood does not affect you as much anymore. You have a +2 dice bonus to Frenzy checks when you smell blood at Hunger 4 or higher.

You take only superficial damage to sunlight every turn when exposed to it.

You are capable of dreaming while in Daysleep.

Torpor Length: 24 Hours

Humanity 8: Many good-intentioned and philanthropic humans are at this level. Most Kindred at this level are freshly turned and the seductive whispers of their Beast haven't taken over their subconscious yet. You remember what you used to be and what you can become if you stop caring about your convictions. To remain at this level takes good self control and strong principles… or guilt.

You are able to drink wine and process it without having to throw it up- although it does not sate your Hunger.

With the beast within you leashed, you require less blood to thrive. You get a pool of 2 dice to rouse your blood at the start of each night, and still only require 1 success to avoid getting hungrier.

The allure of spilled blood is easier to resist. You have a +1 die bonus to Frenzy checks when you smell blood at Hunger 4 or higher.

You are capable of dreaming while in Daysleep.

Torpor Length: 3 Days

Humanity 7: This is the average level of most humans. You have a good sense of what is socially appropriate, and enough care in your heart to at least do right by the people around you. As a Kindred, your Beast gnaws at the back of your mind, an omnipresent reminder that you can never be truly satisfied unless you act selfishly.

You are able to drink and stomach wine as if you have Eat Food activated, however you must throw it up by the end of the night.

You are capable of dreaming while in Daysleep.

Torpor Length: One Week

Humanity 6: Most humans do not sink any lower than this level. You are motivated mostly by your own interests and interests that serve your closest friends. It is easy to make it a habit to satisfy the Beast's urges, so long as doing so doesn't backfire on you later. What's the harm in indulging once and awhile?

You are capable of dreaming while in Daysleep.

Human logic often eludes you when faced with your kind's greatest fears. The difficulty of Terror frenzy checks is +1.

Torpor Length: Two Weeks

Humanity 5: Honestly, who cares what others think anyway? You know what you're doing, and your instincts are often right. It's often difficult for you to put the needs of others before your own when you are hungry. You find yourself needing to sate your beast before you can clear your head and make the "right" decisions with careful thought.

Your dominance over your natural prey is absolute. Mental disciplines always succeed against ordinary humans (even if they are not unsuspecting) if your dicepool for the roll is greater than their counterroll by a margin of 4.

Human logic eludes you when faced with your kind's greatest fears. You always Terror frenzy when taking damage from sunlight or fire.

Torpor Length: One Month

Humanity 4: The Beast is difficult to deny. It takes a great deal of mental fortitude to put off opportunities to feed, and much more to make sure your prey is comfortable when you do. It's easy to slip into selfish habits, ignore the feelings of others, and become a monster- especially when doing so only harms others rather than yourself.

Human logic eludes you when faced with your kind's greatest fears. You always Terror frenzy at the sight of sunlight and large fires.

Torpor Length: One Year

Humanity 3: It is nearly impossible to look at humans and not see walking sacks of blood. Every moment of consciousness your blood tells you to indulge, or otherwise feed your deepest desires… and only the threat of societal and social consequences for doing so stops you.

Your beast is attuned to the aroma of blood humans carry. You have a +1 die bonus to rolls attempting to locate specific humans you've either fed from or detected the Resonance of within 24 hours by utilizing their scent. The area you can track within is no larger than a single average room (human noses simply aren't that good).

You have a reckless ferocity befitting a rabid animal. You have a +1 die bonus to Athletics, Brawl, and Melee rolls.

Embracing your inhuman qualities, disciplines are easier for you to use. When using disciplines that require rouse checks, you can roll 2 dice instead of 1, and still only require one success in order to avoid getting hungrier.

More monster than person, the traditional banes of vampires are more effective against you. You take +1 more aggravated damage from fire and sunlight every turn you are exposed to it.

Human logic eludes you when faced with your kind's greatest fears. You always Terror frenzy at the sight of sunlight and large fires.

Torpor Length: Ten Years

Humanity 2: Very few Kindred reach this level of humanity under the jurisdiction of the Camarilla, as the utter lack of shame and self-awareness characteristic of "humanity" is gone by this point. Powerful individuals at this level are rarely negotiable and only act in their own self-interests. Only Touchstones are able to break through to you at this level and keep you in check if those interests are harmful.

Your beast is well-attuned to the aroma of blood humans carry. You have a +2 dice bonus to rolls attempting to locate specific humans you've either fed from or detected the Resonance of within 24 hours by utilizing their scent. The area you can track within is no larger than a single spacious room.

You have a reckless ferocity befitting a rabid animal. You have a +2 die bonus to Athletics, Brawl, and Melee rolls.

Embracing your inhuman qualities, disciplines are easier for you to use. When using disciplines that require rouse checks, you can roll 3 dice instead of 1, and still only require one success in order to avoid getting hungrier.

More monster than person, the traditional banes of vampires are much more effective against you. You take +2 more aggravated damage from fire and sunlight every turn you are exposed to it.

Human logic eludes you when faced with your kind's greatest fears. You always Terror frenzy at the sight of sunlight and small fires.

Torpor Length: 50 Years

Humanity 1: Barely holding on to humanity, only the most desperate pleas from loved ones can prevent you from giving in to your Beast's overwhelming urges. Kindred at this level often don't survive unless they are powerful enough to fight against attempts to slay them- Hunters or otherwise. As a PC, it is often wise to invest EXP in raising your Humanity level at an appropriately cinematic moment when the raw power of this level is no longer needed.

Your beast is highly attuned to the aroma of blood humans carry. As a well practiced stalker of prey, you have a +3 dice bonus to rolls attempting to locate specific humans you've either fed from or detected the Resonance of within 24 hours by utilizing their scent. The area you can track within is no larger than a single building.

You have a reckless ferocity befitting a rabid animal. You have a +3 die bonus to Athletics, Brawl, and Melee rolls.

Embracing your inhuman qualities, disciplines are easier for you to use. When using disciplines that require rouse checks, you can roll 4 dice instead of 1, and still only require one success in order to avoid getting hungrier.

More monster than person, the traditional banes of vampires are especially effective against you. You take +3 more aggravated damage from fire and sunlight every turn you are exposed to it.

Human logic eludes you when faced with your kind's greatest fears. You always Terror frenzy at the sight of sunlight and fire, no matter the size.

Torpor Length: 100 Years

Humanity 0: A Wight- Kindred who have fully embraced the beast and lost all semblance of their former selves. Wights are impulsive, monstrous vampires who operate entirely on an overwhelming desire to feed. They are capable of pretending to be human by rousing their blood and using higher-level problem solving skills, but this often serves to make them more terrifying assailants. Due to the drastic nature of this level, a fitting story event should be discussed between the player and Storyteller before a character reaches it.

PCs who reach this humanity level are no longer controlled by their players and effectively become hostile NPCs with all the gameplay buffs and debuffs of Humanity 1.

Characters at this level may raise their level back to Humanity 1 if they are at zero Hunger, and a touchstone attempts to "bring them back"- an action which the Storyteller may decide the difficulty of.

Wights are not often able to articulate intelligent thoughts. They cannot use Dominate disciplines other than Compel.

Torpor Length: 300+ Years

Thanks for reading and let me know if you like it or even if you want to use it for a game! I hope it made the descent to becoming a wight specifically make more sense. (How does being comically evil at Humanity 1 transition to mindless animal at Humanity 0?) Additionally, I hope this makes wights seem a little bit more threatening and impactful to potential narratives. Imagine a Humanity 0 vampire passing as a human in the sole pursuit of feeding to kill. Pretty scary! The dichotomy I was going for was high humanity makes it easier to live a "normal" human life that doesn't need to do much vampire stuff, while low humanity makes it easier to be a terrifying threat to humans.

Also, please forgive any grammatical or formatting mistakes, I wrote all this on a separate document and tried to copy paste it onto the mobile web browser version and you know how that goes.

#vtm #vampire the masquerade #v:tm #vampire: the masquerade #vampire #homebrew #my stuff #long post #world of darkness #wod #5e #ttrpg

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optimisticstudentangel · 1 year

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Don’t worry you will eventually change your mind

Warning: Yandere Solomon, mind reading, brainwashing, acting out of a character, dark themes

Summary: Solomon gets lil jealous, and breaks your mind

Reader is gender neutral

Also i might become inactive for some time, because of exams.

From the first interaction you had with Solomon, you knew that he was a sly person. It was hard, even impossible to call him human or whatsoever. He was too powerful, too smart, too secretive… and too attractive. Yeah. All of this characteristics made him very charismatic and hard to ignore. He always stood out from plain majority, that’s why he caught your attention.

Even though he was your type, you weren’t one to just simply confess that easily. Your gut feeling always warned you to behave and act sharp around him.

But it always seemed like he was two steps ahead. He knew that you started to form feelings for him. And with that knowledge he wouldn’t dare to lose such an opportunity to get to know more about you. Solomon also was interested in you. You, the one who made pact with every avatar of sins. He needed to know what was so special about you to become so close to demon brothers in such a short time.

So he started to invite you for study sessions, and then to hang out, and in the end suggested to be your teacher, so you could become a sorcerer like him. It’s then when both of you start to build a close relationship between each other.

Thus, Solomon quickly became imbued with you and soon he himself was crazy about you. He began to understand why the demon brothers loved you so much, and did not let near you so easily. The sorcerer was fascinated by your kindness, your intelligence and personality. Every day you opened up to him on the positive side, which made him more attracted to you. You also made a conclusion that Solomon is not such a bad person as they say about him. He is very courteous and kind in his own way. To see this part of Solomon you need to try hard and become a close person to him. It became clear to Solomon that you are his destiny. You combine each other well, so why not tell you about his feelings for you?

So he made a perfect plan in his head. You will spend a romantic evening together, where no one will bother you. And at the end he would confess to you.

- So, MC, tomorrow like usual in my place? – Solomon asked. You shook your head in disagreement. “I am busy tomorrow, I promised to go to a movie with Mammon. Sorry Sol” – you explained. He smiled saying “No problem”. But you should have known how he could barely force himself to smile at you at that moment. Why would you go to Mammon when you could have fun together in each other's company. Mammon can't know all the subtleties about you, as Solomon can. Why did Mammon had to barge in and ruin Solomon’s ideal plan.

- You know… actually… I think it would be better if you declined Mammon’s invitation, - you looked at Solomon with surprise. Did he really say that? At the same time, his face did not reflect any negative emotions, he was still smiling at you with the same smile that he answered you when you refused him.

- Solomon, is something wrong with you? – his grimace changed. “Oh, no my dear. What makes you think so?”

- It’s just… you don’t look like your usual self right now…

- Hmm… are you sure about that MC? - you felt uncomfortable from this oppressive environment, which is why you started to back away closer to the door. Solomon grinned at this sign and slowly began to approach you. “Where are you going honey? Look at me, in my eyes, please”- he said. You instinctively did as he told not thinking through anything.

At the same second, you felt like your body was gripped by magic that didn't let you move an inch. His eyes were burning brightly, no matter how much you wanted to cover your own eyes, you just couldn't do it. Your head became heavier, your whole consciousness was under the influence and subordination of Solomon

You couldn't figure out what exactly Solomon was doing to your brain. After reading your thoughts, he replied to you, "I'm just correcting a couple of details in your head, don't be afraid it's not a long process." From the shock, you opened your mouth and started shouting “stop” in his direction.

- My dear, please… don’t get angry. You will thank me later. I am doing all of this for you, so please bear with me.

- Are you out of your mind Solomon!? - Solomon just shrugged and continued to break your brain at his discretion.

By brainwashing you, he was changing your mind about the demon brothers. Only a couple of changes in your memory makes you treat demons with the same distrust you had when you firstly arrived to hell. Naturally, Solomon changed your attitude towards him too, he made it so that he was only thing in your mind.

After Solomon finally brainwashed you, your gaze was empty, there was no former light in them. You could barely stand on your feet, staggering, you almost fell to the ground, but fortunately Solomon caught you. He hugged you tightly to his body for a long time.

- So what about tomorrow? Will we meet? – he asked.

- Of course, Sol.

#obey me #obey me fanfic #obey me scenarios #obey me solomon #solomon x reader #simeon cult #yandere solomon #obey me yandere

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