#as being from such extreme opposite borders i think they would actually be the perfect vessels towards the betterment of the other | Explore Tumblr Posts and Blogs

gimmesumsuga · 4 years

Text

Ps. I woof you

Pairing: Yoongi x Reader

Word count: 26K

Summary: The one with a happy accident of the furry, four-legged kind - “Are you calling my dog a slut?!”

Warnings: Extreme fluff and domesticity, cursing, mild angst, smut inclusive of: fingering, oral sex (female receiving) and unprotected penetrative sex

** Click here to read on Archive of our own (AO3) should the read more on mobile not work due to fic length **

Thank you @readyplayerhobi for my super cute banner and @johobi for the gorgeous moodboard! ^^

“Seriously?!” Sitting up with a suddenness that borders on miraculous given how fast asleep you were just a few blissful moments ago, you glare out into the darkness that fills your room.

The wall opposite your bed may as well be vibrating, so insistent is the thud of bass that’s thumping through from the apartment next door, and if you thought you were pissed about being so rudely awakened in the middle of the night, that’s nothing compared to the indignance of your dog, Remi. Barking her head off, you’re met by the sight of her pacing up and down the span of the wall once you turn on the light, blinking as your eyes adjust to the offending brightness.

“This is just so not the time,” you hiss as you swing your legs out of bed and then stalk across the room to hammer your fist against the plaster, swearing under your breath. Usually, you’re quite quick to try and stifle Remi when she gets her knickers all in a twist, but not right now - not when her yapping is perfectly justified and the dog next door then has the sheer gall to start barking back.

“Oh, it’s on,” you grit out through your teeth, banging your fist against the wall with renewed vigour ‘til your fist is sore and Remi’s so worked up that she’s up on her hind legs pawing the paintwork right alongside you.

Thankfully, your next-door neighbour soon gets the message and turns off his music, no doubt feeling cowed at having been met with such vehement disapproval from the opposite side of the wall. You sigh, satisfied, but it seems Remi has no such intention of letting it go so lightly, her barking match with her nemesis next door carrying on despite the battle being over.

“Hey, hey,” you hush as you squat down to her level, running your fingers through her fur, “It’s ok, you can stop now, Rem. We won, it’s ok.” She quietens slightly at the reassuring tone of your voice but, stubborn as she is, she remains determined to get the last bark in, growling low in her throat and staring at the wall until she’s absolutely sure that the dog next door has been forced to back down.

She’s always been the same; vocal even as a pup. She’s a canine of very few faults (or so you like to believe), but you’ll admit that she can be a little too loud at times - a little too quick to run her mouth off at the slightest unfamiliar noise despite you discouraging her from it as best you can.

It was actually one of the reasons you and your ex broke up, as silly as that sounds. He’d always been intolerant of Remi’s noise - of anything being anything other than perfectly perfect, frankly - and the final straw had come when one day, in a fit of red-faced rage, he’d taken off his shoe and thrown it at her from across the room. She’d yelped and ran off to hide, and that’d been it. By dinner time that evening, he’d been in the process of moving out his things. A two-year relationship over, just like that.

Good riddance, as far as you were concerned. Remi was your roommate years before he ever had been; your loyalties lay with her, as they do to this day.

And boy, does she know it. You think it to yourself now, as you lay back down in bed and she sits at your bedside with her chin rested on the covers looking up at you with her big, brown puppy-dog eyes.

“Oh come on then,” you grumble, shifting over and patting the space you’ve made for her atop the duvet. She leaps up, tail wagging, and quickly circles on the spot before lying down snuggled up against you, exhaling noisily in contentment as you fuss her soft, pointed ears. “You’re never going to make any friends if you keep barking at everyone all the time, you know.” Remi closes her eyes, utterly unrepentant.

Not that it’ll soon matter what the next-door neighbours think of you, that is - not if you don’t ace the interview that you’re due to attend in a disgustingly short amount of time. You really should’ve gone to bed earlier, given that the ability to pay your rent is now riding on exactly three and a half hours sleep should you not manage to drift off again for what little time you have left before your alarm is set.

Luckily, the slow rise and fall of Remi’s soft little body lying next to yours proves as soothing as you’d hoped it would, and you’re able to steal a couple of hours more of precious sleep before having to drag your unwilling carcass out of bed and into a pair of high heels. Full of nerves, you bite your nails the whole way there and are forced to make a pitstop in a public restroom prior to your arrival (nervous bowels for the win), but despite all that, you get the feeling the interview actually goes rather well. It’s not for anything fancy, mind - a retail position at one of the more high-end-but-not-quite-designer clothing stores in the city - but the woman quizzing you seems friendly enough, all nods and smiles and shiny white teeth. You even manage to make her laugh, which is impressive given how lame your sense of humour can get when you’re nervous.

She tells you that you can expect to hear back by the end of the working day, and whilst at first that sounds perfectly reasonable, by the time you’ve gotten home and changed into something more comfortable you’re already going out of your mind. Remi seems to pick up on your unease, too, sitting dutifully by your side as you glance at the arm of the sofa where your phone lies every other second, her little ears alert and twitching.

It’s only after you’ve checked it’s not on silent for perhaps the hundredth time that you finally decide you’ve had enough. Decisive, you rise to your feet and slip on your shoes before grabbing Remi’s lead from where it hangs by the side of the door.

“Who wants to go on a walk, huh?” you offer, but having already seen you reach for her lead, Remi is already beside herself with excitement. Atop her back her fuzzy little tail is wagging up a storm, dusting back and forth across the floor once she finally calms down enough to plop her bottom down onto the laminate and let you actually attach her to the thing.

“Ok, ok, don’t pull,” you murmur mostly for your own benefit as you open up the door and then pause to lock up, her lead looped around your wrist. Heaven knows Remi’s not listening anyway - not when she’s this wound up. “Jeez, I’m coming!” you complain, turning on the spot when she yaps impatiently only to take one step towards the staircase and then come to a complete stop once you realise someone’s already coming up the other way.

That someone being Min Yoongi, your aforementioned next-door neighbour, and his dog, a little toy poodle you’re not entirely sure of the name of.

If you’re honest, you’re barely on a first-name basis with the man himself, nevermind his canine companion. You’re fairly certain you remember him introducing himself when you first moved in, but other than that you’ve had very little to do with each other since then apart from the one time you accidentally picked up his mail and he came knocking on your door in search of it. You remember thinking he was cute, too, back then, but despite the smiles that you’ve offered up whenever you may pass in the hall, Yoongi has remained somewhat of a mystery.

Is he just shy, perhaps? Or is he really as aloof and disinterested as the perma-furrow in his brow might have you believe?

Of course, as soon as Remi spots the other dog she starts whimpering and pulling even more with the want to go and say hello, which is ridiculous, really, because you know as the moment the poodle comes close she’ll turn tail and run - which lo and behold, she does. Their noses have barely touched when she jumps backwards and then scampers to hide behind your legs, tangling you up in her lead as she goes.

“Oh Remi, you big wuss!” you sigh as you fight to shuffle backwards enough for Yoongi and his dog to actually be able to get past - a task easier said than done given that the poodle seems set on chasing after her, tangling you up even more.

“Holly, leave it,” you hear Yoongi warn as you peer down at the dogs dancing between your legs, praying for Remi not to do anything that might embarrass the both of you.

She’s never been aggressive before - all bark and no bite through and through - but there’s always a first time…

As if right on cue, Remi releases a deep, rumbling growl as a warning once it becomes apparent that Holly doesn’t have any intention of backing off without a fight. You cringe at the sound, embarrassed.

“Hey! Be nice!” you scold as the other dog very quickly turns tail and runs back to his owner, startled. You feel your cheeks fill with heat as Yoongi scoops Holly off the ground and into his arms, making a mental note to not give Remi any of her usual bedtime treats this evening.

“I’m really sorry about that,” you gush despite Remi looking anything but, sat scratching herself at your feet without a care in the world.

“It’s fine,” Yoongi shrugs, glancing down at Holly with a hint of a smile, “‘Bout time someone put him in his place.” You can’t quite think what to say to that - caught off guard by how very different Yoongi looks when there’s a smile on his face rather than a frown.

Yeah, he’s definitely cute. Cute button nose? Check. Honey-boy smile? Check. Even the dye job on his hair is better than your own - a deep mahogany red to suit the changing of the seasons.

Your silence earns you a quizzical look but no further comment, and mentally you kick yourself for being such an absolute loser as Yoongi turns and heads back towards his apartment, Holly still cradled in his arms.

"And I'm sorry about last night!" you call after him like the unstoppable moron you are.

Why would you bring that up?! There's nothing but more awkwardness in-store by mentioning that, surely?!

Still, deep down you feel obliged to offer some sort of apology. After all, you expect Yoongi would have had the pleasure of having to overhear some of yours and your ex's more colourful arguments in the past. Not to mention the fact that Remi decides to bark every time she sees a bicycle on the television screen.

“It’s just… I had an interview this morning,” you explain as he slowly turns back around to face you again, one eyebrow slightly raised, “And I already went to bed late, so…”

“Don’t worry about it.” You wonder if you’re imagining the way Yoongi averts his gaze and seems to shrink in on himself a little bit as he looks at Holly rather than you. “I should apologise. I didn’t realise how late it was. Lose track of time when inspiration hits.”

“Oh, that was you?” you enquire before stopping to think that maybe Yoongi might not want to share any further. He appears to hesitate before answering, but when he does he offers you a small smile and another shrug of his shoulders along with it.

“I’ve got a home studio,” he explains, exhaling with amusement before adding, “Not gotten around to soundproofing it yet. Obviously.”

So he works in the music business, huh? You figure he must be pretty good, considering how you’ve always presumed it’s been mainstream chart stuff that you’ve been hearing through the walls in the past.

“That’s really cool,” you grin, pleased to see him smile back, and you’re just about to open your mouth to keep the small talk going when all of a sudden Remi tugs sharply on her lead, jolting you off balance. Flustered, you glare at her accusingly only to see her staring right back, impatient for the walk she’s been promised.

Little madam would be tapping her paw on the floor and checking her watch if she only knew how…

Giggling to mask your embarrassment, you make your excuses and bid Yoongi farewell, and you’re about halfway down the concrete steps to take you to the ground floor when suddenly his voice calls after you,

“How did it go?” Looking up, you see his face peering down at you over the railings. The apples of his cheeks look even more pinchable from below; so smooth and sweet and round. "The interview, I mean," he explains further when all you do is gawp back up at him, mouth hanging ajar.

"Oh!" Could this really be real? Is Yoongi - introverted, mysterious Min Yoongi - taking an active interest in you? Well, not you necessarily, but something to do with you, nonetheless. "Yeah, I mean, I think it went pretty well." He nods, seemingly satisfied with your answer.

"Well, good luck with it," he says, and all of a sudden Holly's face pops over the side too, tongue lolling out. At your feet, Remi grumbles disgruntedly.

"Thanks," you reply, face aching with the effort it's taking for you to try not to grin too hard. "Keeping all my fingers crossed." Yoongi gives you one last final nod and then disappears out of sight, keys jingling as he opens his front door, and you’re left giddy in his wake.

Realistically, you know this whole exchange was little more than every day ordinary - some might even say mundane - but it's caught you so off guard that you very nearly fall down the stairs when Remi barks you back to reality, tugging once more on her lead.

"Oh alright, alright, alright…"

****

Turns out, your gut feeling that the interview went well was right.

Not that you’d actually found that out until much later on in the day, mind. Thanks to all the faffing around you’d been doing with your phone prior to leaving the house, you’d managed to leave it by the front door rather than take it with you, and by the time you’d gotten home, there were three missed calls and a rather perturbed sounding voicemail waiting for you. Still, better late than never, eh? You were just glad your new employer hadn’t mistaken your sudden unavailability as a lack of enthusiasm; full of spluttered apologies and excuses by the time you eventually called them back.

That was two weeks ago, now, and you’ve been pleasantly surprised as to how well things have been going so far. Being a high-end store, the clientele are somewhat more demanding than you’ve been used to before, but the money’s good and your new colleagues have been more welcoming than you could’ve hoped. Everything’s been coming up roses, and whilst you’re revelling in your newfound financial security, Remi is… well, Remi’s not been taking to it quite so well.

It was only a month or two that you were unemployed prior to starting this job, but it seems as though that was time enough for Remi to become all too accustomed to you spending all your time at home. You’ve no idea how she is when you’re out during your shifts, but the way she sits whining at the front door whilst you get ready for work is enough to break your heart alone, and she’s so excited to see you every time you get back that it doesn’t take a genius to assume she’s been mourning your absence every moment that you’re gone.

It makes you feel horrifically guilty, but what else can you do? You need to work and dog sitters are a luxury you can't afford - at least not right now, anyway. And so of course, like every individual who’s ever suffered with ‘mom guilt’, you end up over-compensating to make up for it; new toys, tastier treats, extra-long walks. Basically, anything Remi might ever want.

And it’s on one of these longer walks that you finally end up bumping into Yoongi and his canine companion again, meandering through the park nearest your home. He doesn’t spot you, at first, which gives you ample opportunity to observe the fondness with which he watches Holly chasing the autumn leaves dancing along the path with each gust of wind. You even get to hear him laugh for the very first time when Holly abandons the leaves and opts to chase his tail instead, and the whole scene is so endearing that you can’t help but stop and scrunch your nose at the two of them, grinning to yourself from where you linger further down the path.

Does he have any idea how cute he is, you wonder? You can’t imagine Yoongi would be the type of guy who’d appreciate hearing it, should you ever work up the courage to tell him so.

“Hey!” you call out once you’ve mustered up the courage to finally reveal yourself, approaching them with Remi’s lead held firmly in hand. On hearing your voice, Yoongi looks up from where he’d squatted down to give Holly a fuss, his small eyes widening infinitesimally once he realises it’s you.

“Oh, hey,” he greets, quickly straightening up and brushing off the leaves that’d gotten caught on the front of his long, black coat.

“How’s it going?” You keep a close eye on Remi as you approach, and whilst she still tugs on the lead in an attempt to rush forward, you’re glad to find that this time around the two of them are somewhat calmer as to how they go about greeting each other. There’s plenty of sniffing, still, and plenty of bouncing around, but apparently Holly is a quick learner and knows better than to come on so strong this time around.

“Yeah, not bad.” You can tell Yoongi’s a responsible owner by the way he closely watches Holly as the two dogs say hello, but as he glances up you can’t help but notice that there are dark circles under Yoongi’s eyes despite his profession of good health.

Has he been staying up late again, absorbed in his music? If he has, he must’ve had the forethought to use some headphones, as you haven’t been awoken during the night at all ever since that fateful evening a couple of weeks ago.

“Hey, uh, how’d it turn out with that job, in the end?” Yoongi asks, and it’s stupid but you swear you feel your insides flutter with excitement at a) the fact that he remembered and b) would care enough to ask about it further on down the line.

“Really good!” you reply as Remi sinks down into a playful stance amongst the leaves, bottom eagerly wiggling. “I got it, yeah! Started last week.” Yoongi smiles mildly, though it’s nowhere near the toothy grin you’d seen him bestow on Holly earlier. What would you have to do to earn one of those, you wonder?

“I figured you had.” Your brows furrow in curiosity as he slips one hand into his pocket, shifting his weight.

“Oh? How’d you work that out?” He glances at Remi for a second, pausing before he answers.

“Your dog, Remi?” You nod, growing more curious with every second. “Well, she’s gotten kind of… noisy since you went back to work.”

Oh. Oh shit.

Your embarrassment must show all over your face because Yoongi’s quick to continue explaining, his own expression turning into one of worry.

“I mean, it’s no trouble. It’s not like I’m trying to sleep or anything and my headphones cancel her barking out anyway,” he rambles as the two dogs continue to spring back and forth between the two of you without a care in the world. “It’s just… I feel kind of sorry for her, is all.”

And oh boy, if you didn’t feel guilty already about leaving her than you sure do now. What must Yoongi think of you? Does he think you’re being neglectful of her? That you’re some horrible, conscienceless owner? Oh god, what if he reports you for animal cruelty or something?

“I didn’t… um…” Realising you’re on the verge of bursting into tears, you purse your lips and look down at Remi for a second or two, trying to remind yourself that no matter what anyone may think, you’re doing the best you can. She’s in good health and she’s happy… most of the time. “I didn’t realise she was getting so upset while I was gone,” you say, blinking back the tears and forcing a smile as you shrug your shoulders like it’s not so much of a big deal. “Maybe I’ll have to look into a sitter, or… or…”

“I didn’t mention it to try and make you feel bad,” Yoongi gently interrupts, and you can tell that he’s being genuine from the tone in which he says it. Somehow, he doesn’t strike you as the sort to bullshit someone just to spare their feelings. “I’ve just been thinking; maybe I can take her out with me for a walk in the afternoon? I’ll be walking Holly anyway, so…”

“Are you serious?!” you exclaim, your sheer volume and enthusiasm so unexpected that Yoongi actually takes an involuntary step back, his eyes widening in alarm. Even the dogs momentarily stop their play, heads cocked to the side as they stare up at you, bemused. “That’d be amazing, thank you!” Yoongi smiles, rubbing bashfully at his neck, and if it weren’t for the fact you’re unsure of how he’d respond, you’d have thrown your arms around him already while you girlishly squeal your thanks.

“Really, it’s no big deal,” he dismisses, but it’s too late. As far as you’re concerned you’re already indebted to him for being kind enough to merely suggest it.

“It is to me,” you smile and if you didn’t know any better you’d swear that Yoongi’s cheeks turn a softer shade pinker as he glances down at the floor, clearing his throat.

“You can just drop a key over whenever. Whatever’s easier for you.” He shrugs his shoulders, all nonchalance in spite of your beaming smile. Below you, Holly’s happily letting Remi clean the inside of his ears, oblivious.

“Thanks, Yoongi.” He looks up, and this time you know you’re not imagining the awkward blush dusted along his cheekbones. “I owe you one.”

It isn’t until later on, long after you’ve gotten home and whilst you’re trying (ie. failing) to get to sleep, that it suddenly dawns on you that there may be one potential downside to Yoongi’s generous offer.

Now that you’ve given Yoongi your spare key, he can just come moseying on into your apartment any time he likes. Any sane person would surely be concerned about the potential security risk that poses, surely, but you? Oh no, your anxieties are centred around the fact that this means that Yoongi will get to see what an absolute shit-tip your apartment is and suss you out as the grotty little goblin you are, and thereby conclude that he should never, ever, ever speak to you again, for as long as you both shall live.

Unsurprisingly, as soon as you realise this you’re even less able to sleep than you were before and proceed to spend the next four hours tidying up all the areas in the apartment you figure Yoongi is most likely to see. You make a pretty good job of it, too, though you start to question whether it was worth it when you have to spend the next following day at work feeling as though you’ve got some sort of fatigue-induced hangover - dry mouth and all.

It was, though, no doubt. Once you finally arrive home all blurry eyes and aching feet, Remi seems a lot less manic than she has these past couple weeks when she’s been left alone. She’s still pleased to see you, of course, but it’s a happy tail wag rather than a desperate nipping at your fingers or jumping up your legs like before. You notice that Yoongi has re-filled her water bowl, too, and the calmness he’s imbued in her seems to last throughout the whole evening. She's so calm, in fact, that you can’t help but wonder if he might’ve slipped something into said water bowl.

If he did, you’d sure like to know what it was…

And so it continues throughout the weeks that follow. You and Yoongi never actually cross paths - much to your dismay - but Remi continues to relish her daily adventures out and about the town without you. And it’s not just Remi that benefits from your newfound arrangement, either; with the time that you’d normally use to walk her yourself now no longer needed, you’re free to indulge in the self-care rituals that’d fallen by the wayside once the past few weeks. Bubble-baths, face masks, deep cleanses - your skin has never looked better!

“This is the life, huh Rem?” you sigh in contentment, glancing over to where she’s currently lounging atop the closed toilet seat opposite your bathtub, keeping you company whilst you luxuriate. She says nothing, obviously, but looks happy enough with her chin rested on the sink and eyes half-closed. She yawns, showing off all her teeth, and it catches - your mouth opening in a great big yawn as you reach out of the tub for the glass of wine precariously perched on the side.

So what if it’s only three in the afternoon? This is what weekends off work are for, and if Remi’s not judging you then you’re not about to go giving yourself a hard time either.

“What do you say to a little nap after this, hm?” Glass now empty, your fingers are starting to look a little bit pruney as you place it back on the side, and you take that as a sign to say you’ve been wallowing in your own filth long enough. It’s time to make a move.

With a great big groan of effort, you hoist yourself up out of the water and stand up, grinning to yourself at the little headrush that comes with it - purely from the change in blood pressure, obviously. Nothing to do with your midday alcohol consumption at all. Unfortunately, your amusement is short-lived once you realise that in your eagerness to soak you’d completely forgotten to bring your towel along.

“Ah shit,” you huff, climbing out onto the bathmat and then wiggling yourself in an attempt to drip dry as best you can before you venture out to where you know you’ve left it hanging on the radiator out in the hall. Remi watches your shuffle curiously but it’s not as though she hasn’t already seen it all before, and you flash her a grin before covering up what you can with one hand and opening up the door, shivering a little as the cold air hits you.

Suddenly, Remi darts out from the bathroom from between your legs, barking like mad, and maybe it’s because the alcohol has slowed your reflexes - or maybe you’re just a little slow in general - but it isn’t until you hear the front door shut and Yoongi calling Remi’s name that the slow realisation of what’s happening hits you.

Remi's walk. Yoongi's come to take Remi on her walk because as far as he knows you’re working, and why on earth would you have been smart enough to have had the forethought to let him know that you’re not?!

“Hi Rem,” you hear Yoongi say once she’s finished yapping, her aggression replaced by excited whining as she no doubt dances around his feet. Like an idiot, you’re so blindsided by his sudden arrival that all you can do is stand frozen in the hallway - the hallway that Yoongi would be able to see directly down should he only think to move a few paces to the left. “You ready for walkies, girl?”

Oh god, why now?! Why you?!

Remi lets out a bark of excitement and then, to your horror, you realise she’s turned tail and decided to come and fetch you to join in with all the fun, the bell on her collar jangling as she runs towards you, ushering in your doom.

“Where are you off to? You don’t want to go out today? That’s a shame because Holly-” The sound of Yoongi’s voice coming closer is finally enough to kick you into gear, and it’s with a yelp of alarm that you reach out and snatch the towel off the radiator and clutch it to your chest just in time for Yoongi to round the corner and come into sight.

His eyes widen comically when he sees you, his mouth popping open as he freezes in the doorway and you scramble to cover yourself. You’re not sure how much he actually saw but you think he must’ve seen something , judging by his reaction. Between you, Remi runs back and forth, joyfully oblivious. Your whole body feels aflame with embarrassment, and given the rising blush you can see on Yoongi’s cheeks you’d guess he’s not faring much better.

“Um… I-” you stutter out, holding the towel in place against your chest in case Remi decides to jump up your legs and yank it down. “I-I’m not working this weekend and-”

Shamefully, Yoongi doesn’t even give you a chance to finish explaining. With nothing more than a rapid series of blinks and a stiff nod, he turns around on the spot and walks out of your apartment faster than you’ve ever seen him move before, and though you and Remi rush aimlessly after him, he’s too quick to catch. He doesn’t even shut the door after himself properly, so eager is he to escape.

“Poor guy must've gone to pour bleach in his eyes," you sigh whilst Remi stares forlornly at the door as you press it shut, her tail hanging sadly between her legs. You can only hope you haven’t scarred him for life and ruined your arrangement, and you tell yourself that it’s for Remi’s sake but really, you’re not sure your ego could handle it if it turned out Yoongi had taken one look at you naked and decided never to speak to you again.

You run your fingers through the wet mass of tangles that is your hair, sighing once more as you head towards the kitchen, uncaring that you’re likely dripping bathwater all over the floor.

“I think it’s time for another drink, Rem, don’t you?”

Remi doesn’t get walked that afternoon, much to her displeasure, and the reasons for that are twofold. One - after having chugged down another two large glasses of wine in hopes of erasing your short-term memory, you were hardly in any fit state to pry yourself up off the sofa let alone walk around the block. And two - even if you could walk, you would’ve still had to muster up the courage to step outside your front door. Bumping into Yoongi and having him run away from you twice in one day was far too distressing a prospect for you to even consider attempting to move.

Instead, you’d spent the rest of the afternoon lying about on the sofa, wallowing in your own self-pity until you’d fallen asleep in nothing but your towel, drooling all over the cushions. It’d seemed like a good idea at the time, but the you of this morning is full of remorse having woken up with the back of her hair sticking out like a bird’s backside, a headache, and a craving for fried food that just won’t subside.

It doesn’t help that Remi’s bouncing off the walls, either, and eventually you come to the conclusion that there’s really no way you can avoid taking her out for any longer. You’re just going to have to pull on your big girl pants and if you see him, well… then you’ll just have to cross that bridge when it comes to it. You’re both adults. This shouldn’t be this big of a deal.

But oh god it totally is because he’s so cute and what if he thinks you looked gross and oh god, oh god, oh god!

But it’s fine. Of course it’s fine, because you tell yourself it’ll be fine, and you didn’t bump into him for months at a time after you’d first moved in so why should it happen again now?

Thankfully, fate appears to be on your side (or taking pity on you, at least). You make it out of your building without seeing neither hide nor hair of your unwitting flashee - if that’s even a word - and despite having forgotten your purse, you still manage to find some change in the depths of your pockets for a snack from the food cart just outside the park.

You munch it happily as Remi leads the way, darting from one side of the sunshine dappled pavement to the other to pee on everything she can find, and you’re just thinking about what a good call it was to get out of the house for a little while when you suddenly hear a familiar voice calling an all-too-familiar name and your stomach drops with dread.

Oh, fate can go fuck herself. Fickle bitch.

You come to an abrupt stop, eyes drawn to where your next-door neighbour is currently frolicking through the small field a little further down the path, just to your right.

Frolicking is probably the wrong word, really, but you’re not sure what to call the gangly waving of arms and legs you can see going on past the small group of trees that’s concealing you from sight. Holly’s off lead, you can tell that much, and Yoongi seems like he's having fun chasing after him, letting out some strange, high-pitched laugh when he almost trips over that has you guffawing in turn - a sound you quickly smother with the napkin you hadn’t yet thought to throw away.

Yoongi drops to his knees amongst the grass and Holly is quick to take advantage, climbing up onto his owner’s lap to lick Yoongi’s face. He groans and he grimaces, but you can still see him smiling as he wipes away the offending slobber, and you’re just about to start swooning at the way he’s lovingly fussing Holly’s ears when Remi startles you out of your reverie with a purposeful tug on her lead.

Just like you, she’s spotted the object of your affections and is now desperate to make her way over, whining and pacing restlessly to and fro.

“Rem, shh!” you hush when she lets out a bark of objection at your attempt to pull her back from the treeline. As much as you enjoy seeing Yoongi you don’t actually want to see him right now, and if Remi keeps going the way she is you won’t end up with much of a choice in the matter.

“Again, Hol?! Really?!” Glancing over, you see Yoongi’s expression turn to one of distaste as Holly dips into a squat right in front of him, not a shred of thought spared for dignity. You figure this is the best time to hurry on past while he’s suitably distracted but Remi doesn’t make it easy, pulling backwards as you try to walk on and then planting her bottom firmly on the ground once she realises brute strength is getting her very far.

“I can just pick you up, you know,” you threaten, narrowing your eyes at her, but just as you’re stalking forward about to carry out the said threat, you’re distracted by the sight of Yoongi rummaging through his pockets, lips moving as though he’s grumbling to himself.

You’ve seen that dance before; it’s one you know well, given how forgetful you can be. He’s either forgotten his poo bags or run out of them altogether, and now you’re faced with the moral dilemma of knowing you have a brand new roll stashed away in your pocket. As if sensing your hesitation, Remi stares at you as you squat down to her level, hands outstretched.

‘Really?’ her eyes say, ‘Are you really going to just let him leave it there? What if someone steps in it? Think of the children -'

“Oh fine!” you huff, standing up straight and marching out onto the grass before you lose your nerve, Remi trotting along happily at your side.

Must you really be so god damn conscientious all the time? You swear it causes you nothing but trouble.

Before Yoongi’s even realised you’re there, you’re grabbing the roll from your pocket and thrusting it into his line of sight.

“Here,” you offer as he startles, glancing from you down to Remi in momentary bewilderment. You hadn’t meant to sound so gruff but unless you’d forced the word out you probably wouldn’t have been able to say anything at all, so you plaster a nervous smile onto your face in time for when he looks at you again, willing your posture to relax.

“Uh, thanks,” he says he takes them from your palm and pulls one off, quickly putting it to good use. Rather than stand there staring you turn your attention to Remi, mortified to see she’s taken a break from dancing back and forth with Holly in favour of sitting and licking her genitals in the most unladylike fashion.

“Why don’t you go have a run with Holly and just… not do that,” you mumble as you bend to unclip the lead from her harness, granting her freedom. She takes you up on your offer immediately, and the moment she’s loose the two of them go bounding off across the field as fast as they can go, Holly’s ears flapping in the wind. You let out a laugh as Remi manages to dodge and weave around the slightly smaller dog, never quite letting him catch her but keeping close enough to maintain his interest.

If only you were so skilled at the whole ‘treat ‘em mean, keep ‘em keen’ thing…

“She’s really fast,” Yoongi comments, and as soon as he speaks it’s as though all the awkwardness comes flooding back for the both of you. He can’t even seem to look you in the eye. “For a little dog.”

“Yeah,” you chuckle back in the direction of your shoes, “She’s always acted like she’s twice her size. Too big for her boots.”

The two of you lapse into silence, Yoongi’s hands shuffling in his pockets whilst yours mess with your sleeves. If only you could be so carefree as your canine companions who’ve now ceased their running and are circling around one another instead, sniffing each other out. They’re having a great time, whereas the silence between you is quickly beginning to feel stifling, and you soon come to the conclusion that awkward or not, leaving things unaddressed like this is doing no good. You’re just going to have to say something, even if it’s just to apologise and-

“I’m sorry,” Yoongi suddenly blurts out just as you were opening your mouth to do the same. Your eyes meet and then quickly dart away again, cheeks flushed with heat. “I didn’t mean to walk in- I mean, I didn’t realise you were home.”

“That’s ok,” you rush to excuse, “It was my fault, I should’ve let you know I wasn’t working.” You brave a look at him, smiling sheepishly. “Sorry if I… gave you a shock.” Yoongi shakes his head, a small smile on his face as he waves his hand dismissively.

“I’ve seen worse, believe me,” he chortles, and then as if suddenly realising what it is he’s just said his eyes ping open wide and his face fills with colour. “Sorry, that sounded bad, I-” He stops talking when he notices you’ve startled giggling at his expense, your shoulders shaking with mirth. What he said wasn’t even that funny - hell, some might even be insulted - but he just looks so adorable when he gets all flustered that you just can’t help yourself. It’s either laugh or start cooing and pinching his cheeks, and you doubt he’d appreciate the latter. Soon enough, he’s chuckling along too - albeit rubbing at the flush on his neck as he does so.

“Is it just me or have you noticed how all of our conversations seem to end up with one us apologising?” you observe once you’ve managed to stifle your giggling, happy with how much lighter the mood feels now that you’ve aired everything out.

“I hadn’t until you just pointed it out,” Yoongi admits, absently swinging the hand in which he’s holding Holly’s lead as he looks out across the field towards the two of them. His profile is so pretty; such a sharp jaw for such rounded cheeks to sit on. “I must make an effort to be more interesting.”

“You’re already plenty interesting.” The words are out of your mouth before they’ve even taken form in your head, and you instantly wish you could catch them and stuff them back in as Yoongi’s eyebrows rise, his head turning to look back your way. “I mean… what I meant was-” you stammer as the smallest of smiles tugs at his delicate lips, and though you love to see it you can’t bear to look him right now, too busy wishing the ground would just swallow you up and-

“Shit!” You sharply look up, just in time to see Yoongi take off running at full speed, and your heart starts pounding for a completely different reason as you look ahead to where he’s headed and realise what it is that has him moving so fast.

Where the two dogs had been so happily sniffing around one another just a moment ago, Remi now seems to be in some sort of distress. You immediately assume they’re fighting given how loud she’s whining, but as you take in the sight of Holly mounting her rear end you very quickly come to realise it’s the very opposite of fighting that’s the problem and start running after Yoongi, shouting in a futile attempt to discourage the two.

You hadn’t even realised Remi was in heat, for Christ’s sake! No wonder she was so keen on saying hello to Holly, today of all days!

As luck would have it, Yoongi reaches them two just in time to intervene. His owner’s arm-waving and shouting startles Holly so much that he dismounts without Yoongi even having to touch him, and whilst their owners are left out of breath and harrowed to the core, the two dogs go on about their business like nothing’s happened at all.

“I’m sorry,” you gush, hands shaking you’re so flustered, “I didn’t realise she was in season.”

There you go apologising again…

You quickly go about putting Remi back on the lead as Yoongi does the same, and she’s all innocent eyes as she gazes up at you wondering what all the fuss is about.

“It should be ok, I think.” With Holly firmly back in hand, Yoongi takes a moment to straighten out his beanie that’d come all askew. “They didn’t… uh…”

“Yeah, no, I know what you mean,” you interject rather than have him saying it out loud. They didn’t get stuck together is what he was probably trying to say, and really you’d rather not have a conversation about knotting right now. You’ve had more than enough embarrassment for one day, thank you very much.

“I think I should get this one home before we have any more near-accidents,” Yoongi muses, frowning as he looks down at Holly who’s still clearly expressing an interest, nose twitching in Remi’s direction.

“Sure,” you agree, “And maybe we should hold off on the joint walks for a week or so?” You hate to suggest it because you know Remi’s going to be absolutely miserable without them, and you’re sure Yoongi would keep a close eye on them from now on, but it’s just not worth the risk. “Just until her heat is over, anyway.”

“Yeah, probably best.” You expect that to be it, then, but much to your surprise Yoongi suddenly breaches the gap between you and bends in front of Remi, scratching her under the chin just as you know she likes. “See you soon girl, ok?” he promises, and you swear you feel your knees weaken slightly at the way he says it in that low, dulcet tone of his. And if they didn’t then, then they most definitely do when he looks up at you and smiles, the sunlight catching his eyes.

“Yeah, see you later.” Starstruck, you answer somewhat robotically as he stands back to normal height with that same small smile still playing on his lips.

“Later,” he says, making himself scarce before anything else has a chance to go wrong.

You take a moment just to close your eyes; to collect yourself and calm your heart. Remi's innocent little face is awaiting you once they open again, gazing up at you as though butter wouldn't melt in her mouth, and you can't help but soften as you bend down and run your fingers through her fur, sighing.

"I know he's cute, Rem," you say, and part of you wonders whether it's Holly or Yoongi that you're talking about; Remi or yourself that you're talking to. "But you can't just go giving up the goods like that!" She ever so sweetly licks your fingers - as if in penance - and you can’t help but wonder to yourself whether either of you is even really listening.

At least she has the excuse of not being able to understand a word; you’re not sure what excuse your subconscious has for the numerous dreams it inflicts on you in the nights that follow. Dreams of dark eyes, deep voices and long, wandering fingers that seem to linger on your skin even into wakefulness. It doesn’t seem fair that whilst your sightings of the ‘real life’ Yoongi remain as sporadic and elusive as ever, you’re being haunted by his ever-so-alluring dream counterpart.

It’s a stupid crush, really. You know it is. Your attraction to him is based on little more than his looks and the few short (and embarrassing) interactions you’ve had with the guy, and no-one is worth the realisation that you’re starting to resent your dog for all the time she gets to spend prancing around the park with him that you don’t. That's a new low, even for you.

You’re just going to have to get over it, and as a couple of weeks go by with no further interaction between the two of you aside from the odd little post-it note left on your kitchen countertop once Remi's daily walks recommence, it gets a little easier to distract yourself from dwelling on the butterflies your next-door neighbour had been making you feel.

Besides, if Yoongi was interested in pursuing something more than being your acquaintance surely he would’ve done it by now? There’s no need for you to go messing up an arrangement that’s already working so well by getting feelings involved, especially if they’re not mutual. Remi would kill you. Or worse, Yoongi might start to think of charging you for his services rather than walking her out of the goodness of his heart. Your new job may be going well, but that’s still not an option you’re in the position to afford.

You feel as though you should do something for him, though. You get the feeling Yoongi probably isn’t the type to appreciate a thank you card, and you’re not a good enough baker to go whipping up a batch of cookies or something else of the like. Maybe you could splash out on a new piece of recording equipment the next time you get paid? Hmm, but then that would require actually asking him what he wants, and no doubt it’ll be pricey if he’s using professional kit… Maybe you should just-

“Oh, no, no, Remi, not there! No!” Panicked, you quickly pick Remi up off the sofa and rush her into the kitchen. She continues retching even whilst in your arms and doesn’t stop until she’s finally thrown up this morning’s breakfast all over your laminate floor, uncaring of your whines of protest or the wrinkling of your nose.

“See this is why-” You groan with effort as you have to pick her up and move her out of the way to keep her from licking it all back up again. You swear to god she’s getting heavier. “-This is why you shouldn’t wolf everything down so fast!”

Not that she’s ever had any issues with eating so quickly in the past. Remi’s always gobbled down her food but it’s only the last day or two that she’s started bringing it back up again, and maybe it’d worry you if she seemed unwell in any other way, but she’s acting perfectly fine. A little needier, perhaps, but you figure that’s just down to her missing her new playmate; she certainly isn’t shy about whining and pining after him whenever she can hear Holly next door.

You’d even knocked on Yoongi’s door to check with him whether he thought Remi had seemed out of sorts at all, but he’d said he hadn’t noticed anything obvious either. She’s not eating anything that she shouldn’t be and you haven’t changed her brand of food. Sure, she might be eating a little bit extra of it lately but it can’t just be that, surely?

Every sane person knows you shouldn’t google symptoms, but after you’ve cleaned up Remi’s mess and settled back down on the sofa, that's exactly what you find yourself doing. With her curled up at your side, you scare yourself to death reading through all the horrible things that may or may not be the cause. Parasites, liver failure, gastrointestinal blockages - none of them quite make sense because she’s perfectly fine - but as you continue to scroll there one possible explanation that catches your eye.

Pregnancy.

And suddenly it all clicks into place; Remi’s increased appetite, her cuddliness, the vomiting. She’s pregnant!

You twist in your seat, staring down at her peacefully sleeping form with wide eyes and a furiously beating heart, unable to comprehend that this might be true. Your gaze strays to her stomach as though it might suddenly appear swollen now that the secret is out, but with all her long fur as covering she looks as normal as ever, leg twitching as she dreams.

How can she be pregnant?! You warned her about this - about giving away the goods too fast - and now look what’s happened! Holly didn’t… they didn’t even…!

Remi lets out a yelp of surprise as you suddenly scoop her up off the sofa and rush to your front door, in such a hurry that you don’t even bother to shut it after you as you storm down the hall. Calling Yoongi’s name, you bang your clenched fist against his door with little care for how hysterical you might sound.

Hell, you are hysterical! What the bloody hell are you supposed to do with a litter of puppies?! Your apartment is barely big enough for you and Remi, nevermind however many offspring she may be carrying!

Yoongi’s bleary-eyed once he finally comes to the door, sleepiness adding to the bewilderment with which he squints at the sight of you red-faced and near hyperventilating. It’s shameful that even as worked up as you are that your gaze still strays, unable to resist the lure of checking Yoongi out in his baggy tee and basketball shorts. How is it that even his knobbly knees are so cute?!

“Hey,” he greets, trying and failing to stifle a yawn that gives you an ever so lovely view of his tonsils. He must’ve been up late working, and for just a moment you almost feel guilty for waking him up until Holly suddenly comes running to the front door as well. Catching sight of Remi in your arms, he immediately starts to jump up your legs to try and reach her despite the death glare he’s greeted with. “What’s up?”

“She’s pregnant,” you blurt out, thrusting Remi forward before placing her down on the floor so she and Holly can greet one another. You can’t see the harm, after all. It’s not as if he can go knocking her up again . Yoongi’s brow furrows, head tilting as he sluggishly blinks, struggling to process this new information.

“Sorry?”

“Remi, she’s pregnant,” you state again, folding your arms across your chest as the words suddenly sink in and Yoongi's gaze plummets to the dogs at his feet. “Holly knocked her up.” For a moment, Yoongi says nothing. All he does is stand there, rubbing the back of his neck as Remi affectionately nips and nuzzles at Holly, tugging on his ears.

Finally, he looks up, eyebrows furrowed even deeper now.

“How do you know it was Holly?” Is he serious ?! “I mean, you never know. When they’re in heat they-”

“Are you calling my dog a slut?!” you shriek, stepping forward so both Yoongi and the dogs are forced to move to accommodate your wrath. He flinches, stepping back as the dogs scamper off somewhere further into the apartment. “You were there! We both saw them-” Your arms flap as you search for the word, so outraged your face feels as though it’s on fire from all the red-hot blood rushing through your veins. “- Canoodling !”

If Yoongi weren’t so cute, you swear to god you’d kick him in the shins for the way the corners of his lips twitch at your choice of words.

“Ok, alright,” he relents, cleverly deducing that trying to reason with you right now would be a fool’s game. He glances over at the dogs, now cuddled up together in one of his armchairs. “Just… how about we hold off on the meltdown until after we’re sure?” Your eyes narrow despite knowing he’s right, unwilling to admit that just yet.

There’s always the possibility you could be wrong. The website you were looking at had so many different potential causes for her symptoms that it wouldn’t be impossible for it to be something else. It might even turn out to be nothing at all.

“I guess,” you admit after a moment has passed, unfolding your arms and letting them fall to your sides as you will your shoulders to relax.

“The vet can do a scan, right?” Yoongi suggests, “Then we can figure out what to do if…” He glances at them again, drawing your eyes their way. You have to admit they do make a very sweet looking couple, all curled up together like that. “... if she is.”

You bite your lip at the thought of the potential cost - you’ve got no idea how much it might cost or even when the right time to book it would be. As if reading your mind, Yoongi speaks up again, rubbing at his neck once again.

“I don’t mind splitting the cost if you want,” he offers, though he sounds a little awkward. “You’re probably right about it being Holly…” ‘Probably’ is a bit of an understatement, you think, but you’re not about to argue the semantics. If you’re honest, you’re just feeling a bit overwhelmed by all of this; by the situation in itself and how level-headed and kind Yoongi has been to step up on Holly’s behalf so quickly.

“They are a bit smitten with each other, aren’t they?” you smile, feeling a little calmer. This could be a lot worse, you suppose. The father could’ve just been some random dog in the park and you’d have been left facing this all alone.

“Just a little,” he agrees, hands rested on his hips, and you swear the smile that blossoms on his face as he looks over at them is the sweetest one you’ve ever seen - your heart fluttering despite the promise you made yourself to get over this little crush.

They’re not the only ones at risk of getting smitten, you think.

“Anyway.” You clear your throat in a futile attempt to get a hold of yourself. “Sorry for just barging round. We’ll get going and let you get some more sleep.” You call Remi’s name and she sleepily raises her head, refusing to move until you call her twice more, clapping your hands.

“No worries. It’s about time I got up,” he says. “And what happened to us not saying sorry all the time, hm?” Yoongi smiles crookedly, folding his arms, and god, it’s only the slightest bit of friendly teasing, so why is your heart racing so fast?

“Whoops,” you giggle, acutely aware of the blush that’s warming your cheeks as you scoop Remi up in your arms. “I’ll try to do better.”

“Then I'll expect your best,” Yoongi grins as he escorts you back to the door, and you swear to god you’re about to spontaneously combust any second.

“I’ll let you know about the scan, ok?” He nods, returning your little wave as you say goodbye and then shutting the door before Holly has the chance to escape out into the hall after you. You pause on the doorstep, willing your heart to calm down.

“Oh you’re one to talk,” you hiss back at Remi when you notice her stare, wide-eyed and unblinking. The two of you wouldn’t be in this mess if she could’ve just kept it in her pants. “You better hope I’m wrong about this, missus.”

You’re not, though. The ultrasound scan that you attend the following week confirms your suspicions; Remi’s pregnant, about four weeks gone, and though the vet couldn’t be sure, she’d estimated her to be carrying at least three puppies. She sends you away with her congratulations and an armful of literature - essentially the doggy equivalent of ‘what to expect when you’re expecting’ - and you spend the next hour after you leave the vets wandering the pet store aisles in some kind of daze, desperately trying to figure out which food you should buy.

“Do you have any idea-” Yoongi looks surprised to see you when he opens the front door - Remi’s lead in one hand and a deluxe bag of dog food tucked under the other. “-How many different varieties of grain-free puppy food there are, Yoongi?” He blinks, unsure, so you answer for him. “Twelve.” You can feel the bag starting to slip but you’re lacking the motivation to stop it, too overwhelmed from the morning you’ve had to want to fight anymore. “Twelve. And not one single store assistant could tell me what the hell difference there is between any of them.” The bag finally falls but luckily Yoongi’s right there to catch it, a furrow of concern creasing his brow. “And it’s not even for the puppies.”

“You… look like you could use a coffee,” Yoongi observes, stepping back from his doorway as he holds the bag against his chest.

“Yes, thank you,” you sigh, stepping inside and bending down to let Remi off her lead as Yoongi puts the bag down by the front door and closes it.

“So she’s definitely pregnant, then?” he asks as he reaches down to fuss Remi when she over bounds his way, tail wagging. Holly follows quickly after but it’s not Yoongi he’s interested in - he’s too busy sniffing and licking at the bag of food.

“Yep. Triplets, apparently. Or more, if we’re really lucky.” Yoongi chuckles softly at the sarcasm in your tone, a faint smile on his face as he rounds the kitchen island and pulls out a stool on which you promptly sit, resting your elbows on the counter.

You hadn’t really taken the time to appreciate the decor the last time you got a glimpse inside Yoongi’s apartment, but now that you’ve got a minute you can’t help but notice how nicely put together the place is. Yes, there’s some dirty dishware in the kitchen sink, and yes, his apartment is pretty much the same as yours in layout - just the other way around - but the warm, earthy tones of the place make it feel… cosier somehow. More homely than the stark white walls and metallic countertops your ex-boyfriend had insisted you install back at your place.

The smell of freshly brewed coffee grabs your attention, and you watch quietly as he pours you each a cup from a fancy looking cafetiere. He’s surprisingly delicate in the way he moves - his long fingers deft and precise.

“Milk? Sugar?”

“Yes. And two please,” you mumble, still wallowing in your perceived misfortune. At least you’ve got a nice view; Yoongi’s looking especially cute today in ripped jeans and a sweater that looks far too large, sleeves dangling as he reaches into the fridge.

He takes his coffee with just the slightest touch of milk. No sugar.

“It’s not the end of the world,” he says eventually, breaking what would have been silence if it weren’t for the sounds of Remi and Holly play-fighting in the living room. You swallow the sip of coffee you’d just taken - infinitely more flavorful than the cheap instant stuff you use at home.

“I know,” you relent with a sigh. You just hate feeling so out of your depth! Usually, you research to death any kind of life choice you’re about to make - weighing out the pros and cons, thinking of any possible eventuality and most likely talking yourself out of it in the meantime - but you know nothing about dog breeding or raising puppies. You’d never forgive yourself if you inadvertently did something wrong and Remi ended up getting sick or one of the puppies got hurt or-

“My brother’s dog had puppies a couple years back, I can give him a call,” Yoongi says, as calm and level-headed as ever, “We go halves on everything and then split the profits afterwards.”

“You think we should sell them?”

“Well I hadn’t really planned on getting another dog anytime soon.” His lips curve into a smile against the edge of his cup and you can’t help but smile in return, sighing again.

“You think people will want them?” you ask after taking another sip and Yoongi puts down his cup to reach into his pocket, pulling out his phone.

“I did a little research,” he says, rounding the counter to come and stand next to you, thumb tapping away at the screen. Standing this close you’re able to smell his cologne; a soft yet masculine scent. Does he realise how close he is, you wonder? Or rather, does he have any idea how he’s got every single one of your nerve endings on high alert? “Look,” he instructs, turning his phone your way to show you a picture of one of the most adorable little dogs you've ever seen. It's got Remi's pointed little nose and brilliant white fur, but being half poodle that fur is slightly curly rather than straight, and unlike Remi's pointed ears, this dog's are long and floppy just like Holly's.

In short, it's frickin adorable.

"Oh my god!" you squeal before you can help yourself, stealing the phone from Yoongi's grasp to get an even closer look. You keep scrolling through Google images and you swear each puppy is even cuter than the last, knees bouncing under the counter as your thumb relentlessly swipes.

You totally miss the fondness with which Yoongi observes your excitement. He's usually rather possessive over his tech, but you're just so enthusiastic he can't bring himself to cut your 'ooh-ing' and 'aww-ing' short - especially given how miserable you looked when you first arrived. "They're so adorable, oh my gosh."

"I don't think we'll have any trouble finding buyers if they come out looking like that," he says, slipping his phone back into his pocket once you coyly handed it back, careful to avoid the brushing of your fingers.

"No, you're probably right." If anything, you'll probably have trouble giving them up yourself! Yoongi returns safely to the other side of the counter, smiling softly as he picks up his cup in both hands and takes another sip.

"We'll figure it out," he assures you, and somehow, despite all your anxieties and doubts, there's something about Yoongi's voice that makes you put all your faith in him.

Mind now at rest, the two of you chat whilst you finish your coffees, not just about the dogs but other things as well; his impressive home entertainment system, your plans for Christmas and various theories about the strange Mr Jung who lives alone on the floor below and yet can be heard shouting all hours of the day.

It feels so easy to talk to him. Familiar, almost. Like you and Yoongi knew each other in a past life and have somehow found one another again.

Or maybe you're just a hopeless romantic who's reading way too much into things but hey, you're not hurting anyone. Just yourself, maybe, and you can live with that.

"Thanks for the coffee," you smile as the conversation reaches a natural lull. You're reluctant to leave but you'd rather not risk overstaying your welcome and turn what has been a lovely interaction sour.

"Any time," Yoongi smiles in return. This time you don't manage to avoid the brushing of your fingers as you hand your coffee cup back, and as your fingertips touch you end up pressing your thighs together under the counter from the thrill that runs through you. Thank god he doesn't see it, lest Yoongi realises just how sexually deprived you've been since you and your ex broke up.

Better leave now whilst you still have some semblance of self-control left.

"Ok Rem, time to head on home," you call, slipping off the stool. You pause, expecting to hear the jingling of the bell on her collar as she trots her way over to you, but nothing comes. "Remi?" You make your way into the living room only to find her curled up with Holly in that same spot on the sofa as last time, and if she heard you then she's certainly not acting as though she did. "Rem, c'mon, gotta go." Lazily, they lift their heads in perfect unison and yet Remi remains unmoving, yawning and stretching as Holly rolls onto his back.

Glancing behind you, you ensure Yoongi is well out of earshot before squatting down so that you and Remi are eye to eye.

"Look, I don't want to go either, but we don't want to overstay our welcome now, do we?" you whisper quietly, giving her fair warning before you slip your hands under her fuzzy little body and lift her from the seat.

"Don't be sad." You almost jump out of your skin when you suddenly hear Yoongi right behind you, very nearly dropping Remi in your haste to turn around. Apparently, Yoongi isn't a great believer in personal space (or else is oblivious to it) because he's close enough that he doesn't have to move an inch in order to reach out and stroke her fur, smiling. "We'll see each other soon," he reassures, looking up at you before adding, "Won't we?"

"Yeah, definitely," you confirm, nodding like an idiot, and as though she understands Remi gives a little low rumble of contentment as she leans her head back against your chest, exposing her chin for scratches that Yoongi can't resist supplying.

"I'll come fetch her for her walk tomorrow as normal." Yoongi pauses as he withdraws his affection, scratching behind his ear and keeping his eyes on Remi as he asks, "You are working tomorrow, aren't you?"

Instantly, your cheeks flush with heat as you realise his intention for asking. "Y-yeah." God forbid he almost walk in on you semi-nude all over again… "Thanks."

"No problem," he smiles, meeting your gaze. You shyly return his smile, unable to think of anything more to say as he sees you to the door except to wish him goodbye, blushing once more when he quietly utters it back along with your name.

It should be criminal for someone so good looking to have a voice so sexy. How's a girl supposed to stand a chance? Even when you're no longer in his presence, you can't stop thinking about him; his calm demeanour, his subtle smiles, the warmth he exudes around both Remi and Holly. If he were just attractive that would be one thing, but now you're getting to know him more, little by little… boy, you're in trouble.

And Remi doesn't seem to be faring much better, either. Every small noise from next door that could possibly be her four-legged love has her pacing and whining, so eager to go to see him that every time you come home you have to be careful she doesn't dart out into the hallway between your legs and go scratching at Yoongi's door.

Apparently, Remi's not concerned with the notion of looking desperate, which is why one evening when you come home and you're met with nothing more than silence and an empty apartment, you're more than just a little worried.

Has she climbed her way out onto the balcony? Shimmied across the window ledges mission impossible style in a desperate attempt to reach Holly next door?

Unlikely, but you follow your gut instinct anyway and head over to Yoongi's as calmly as you can. You take a deep, steadying breath as you knock on his door, trying to keep the rising sense of panic at bay. You've already had a not so great day at work - too many customers with not enough manners. The last thing you need now is a missing dog to add to the list.

"Have you seen Remi?" you blurt out as soon as the door starts to open, frowning from the headache throbbing at the back of your skull. "I just got home and she's not there and-"

Yoongi's mouth opens but he has the chance to speak, the sound of Remi's bell does all the talking for him, jingling loudly as she comes running towards the door.

"Hey you!" Your knees click as you bend down to fuss her, one hand on the hem of your skirt to make sure it doesn't ride up too far. "You scared me!" Remorseless, Remi flops onto her side and cocks her leg up in invitation for you to stroke her stomach. It's slowly starting to expand underneath all the fuzz, and despite your recent panic you still can't help but smile to feel it.

"Sorry, should've left a note." Behind you, you hear the front door click shut. Remi quickly has her fill of tummy rubs, and as she runs away back to Holly, you stand up straight and turn to Yoongi, endeared by the uneasy expression on his face and the awkwardness with which he shoves his hands into his pockets. "I keep hearing her whining after I've dropped her off, so I figured it wouldn't hurt for her to just stay a while longer 'till you get home."

God, there he goes again being an absolute sweetheart.

"Shouldn't have just assumed," he apologises but you're quick to wave it off, smiling.

"Not at all. Just glad she's safe." Yoongi smiles, hands coming out of his pockets, and as he walks on past you into the kitchen you're suddenly hit with the smell of cooking; onions and garlic and a sweet-smelling sauce.

"You hungry?" he asks as he approaches the stove.

You can't resist the opportunity to take a really good look at him whilst his back is turned; the epitome of effortless style in his open plaid shirt and skinny jeans. He's barefoot, you realise, and you're not sure why you find that so attractive but you're not about to go analysing it now. Not when he's turned to look at you so expectantly - almost like you've completely missed something he's just said in favour of ogling how nicely the pockets of his jeans frame each of his perfect little butt cheeks.

"Sorry?" you ask stupidly.

"I always make too much," he says, mercifully turning back to his frying pan quick enough that he might have missed the blush on your cheeks. "Plenty to go around. If you want."

Wait. Is Yoongi… Asking you to stay for dinner? And do your eyes deceive you, or is the back of his neck turning a delightful shade of pink as he waits for you to answer?

No. No, that'd just be ridiculous. You're just leaping to conclusions - presumptuous and delusional - but then… why are there already two place settings laid out on his small dining table? Why is there an extra wine glass standing empty on the counter next to the one that's only half full?

Did he… plan this out? Hell, if he did, you're not about to go looking a gift horse in the mouth. Fighting back a nervous smile, you remove your cardigan and hang it over the back of one of his bar stools as casually as you can.

"Sure," you agree, untucking your blouse from your skirt before sliding onto the same stool to watch Yoongi plate up. "Smells a lot better than anything I could cook up." Would it be too much to go unbuttoning a couple of buttons on your blouse too? Show a little skin?

You're reaching to do just that when suddenly Yoongi turns around with his frying pan in hand and you promptly chicken out, clearing your throat. From behind you, Holly and Remi come running into the room, and Yoongi gets distracted when your little lady starts pawing at his leg, vying for attention.

"You want another treat, huh?" With his free hand, he plucks a little brown ball off of a baking tray by the sink and promptly throws it up in the air for Remi to catch, and as soon as it's within her jaws she lies down and merrily begins to chomp, crunching and munching away.

"What's that?" you enquire as Yoongi recommences dishing up, spooning a chicken and vegetable something or other onto a bed of rice. It's a good job you're not a fussy eater or else you might be slightly alarmed that he hasn't even told you what you're having…"The treat, I mean." He looks up from sliding his frying pan into soapy water already waiting in the sink, glancing down at Remi.

"Just some recipe I found online," he explains, casual as ever. He brings over the wine glass you'd noticed earlier and offers to fill it with a tilt of the bottle, doing so when you nod. "She needs the extra calories."

"You made them yourself?" you ask, incredulous that Yoongi would go so far and be so considerate as to go searching for homemade doggie treats. He nods somewhat bashfully, avoiding your gaze as he carries both your plates over to the table and takes a seat. "You're unbelievable," you laugh before you can help yourself, wine glass cradled in both hands as you join him at the table.

Perhaps it might be best not to drink too much of said wine. Seems your tongue is loose enough already without adding extra lubrication.

“I just mean-” You hasten to explain your brazen compliment, not missing the way Yoongi’s eyebrows lift in surprise when you reach for chopsticks rather than the knife and fork he’d placed beside your plate. “- My ex couldn’t even be bothered to learn how to use the washing machine, nevermind bake little organic dog treats in his spare time.”

Glancing over at Remi, you see her standing on her hind legs against the kitchen cupboards in desperate hope for more, and damn, now you’ve gotten a taste of Yoongi’s cooking you can totally understand why!

“Oh my god ,” you groan around your mouthful, chopsticks clicking frantically as you gather up the next, completely distracted from whatever the hell it was you were just saying.

“It wasn’t all organic,” you hear Yoongi mumble, cheeks pink as he takes a sip of his wine. Is that just a little alcohol-induced flush you spy? Or is he secretly flattered? “Just the peanut butter.” You smile, chewing ceaselessly as Yoongi deposits one very large mouthful into his not-nearly-so-small-as-it-looks mouth. He fills his cheeks so full that for a few glorious seconds he resembles some kind of adorable human/hamster hybrid; so cute you just want to reach out and-

"Always had your ex pegged as kind of an asshole, to be honest," Yoongi admits, eyes focused on his plate, and it's not so much the talking with his mouth full that has you nearly choking on your food - it's the bluntness with which he does it. He looks up as you splutter, reaching for your wine. "No offence." He looks mildly alarmed as you cough once more. "It's just I used to hear him all the time through the walls, shouting his mouth off."

"None taken," you wheeze, taking a sip of wine to clear the tickle that's left in your throat. Your eyes are watering and no doubt your face is red, but that's the least of your worries right now, mortified to imagine just how many arguments Yoongi must've overheard during all the time that douchebag was part of your life.

"Sorry if I'm overstepping the mark…" You shake your head quickly, waving off his concerns as Remi and Holly come trotting over as though to check on you. Not that you're so naive as to really believe that - no doubt they're here to scavenge scraps off of the table rather than to ensure your wellbeing.

"Not at all," you chuckle, "Asshole is probably putting it lightly. Never really have had the best taste in men." Yoongi exhales a breathy laugh, smiling wryly.

"Gotta kiss a few frogs to find the Prince, right?" You end up smiling even harder at that, snorting into your wine. A few is probably an understatement, but that's not information Yoongi needs to know.

"Sure he'll turn up one day," you muse, sounding ever so slightly wistful. Your eyes meet Yoongi's from across the table and a beat passes, no words said as the two of you look at one another. You don't dare move - even breathe - lest you risk breaking… whatever this moment between you may be.

Unexpectedly, you feel soft fur against the bare skin of your leg and it startles you despite knowing full well what it is. When you look down, you see Remi staring at you meaningfully, her eyes locked with yours even as she trots her way to the other end of the table to paw at Yoongi's leg, asking for a fuss.

'I like this one, ' her eyes seem to say as Yoongi reaches down to pet her, smiling fondly, 'You should give this one a try.'

Oh, if only.

“We can do this more often if you want,” Yoongi offers as his attention returns to his food. “I don’t mind watching her ‘till you get back from work.”

“Are you sure?” Once again you’re floored by Yoongi’s casual generosity. He doesn’t even look up as he bobs his head in confirmation, his mouth too full to respond.

“She’s no trouble,” he tells you once he’s eventually swallowed, “And Holly likes having her around.”

“That’d be amazing,” you smile, “Thank you.” He returns your smile - small, short and sweet - and you swear each and every time he flashes you a grin you end up falling just that little bit more.

"Does that mean I have even more delicious dinners to look forward to?" you ask, surprising yourself with how flirty you sound. How brave.

Yoongi laughs at your forwardness, sputtering into his wine. You don't really expect him to answer - assume he'll just laugh it off and not say anything at all - but Yoongi looks rather serious as he puts down his glass; his gaze so intense that for a second you actually forget how to chew.

"If you're lucky," he promises, and oh boy, you hope you will be. "But next time, you bring the wine."

And so, you do.

Every night throughout the week that follows, you pay a visit to the corner store on your way home to pick up a bottle of white, or rose, or red. You're fairly certain the cashier might suspect you of having some sort of drinking problem, actually, but Yoongi's been so grateful that you can't stand the thought of turning up empty-handed. And It’s not even as though you always drink the whole bottle, anyway. It’s just a glass with dinner on Wednesday and Thursday, and then one extra on Friday and Saturday when Yoongi invites you to stay a little longer.

And ok, so maybe he doesn’t actually ask you to stay, but when a guy starts asking whether you’ve seen this new show he really likes and turns on Netflix, what are you supposed to think?

You end up thoroughly enjoying the hours you waste away sitting at the opposite end of his sofa with Remi in your lap, even the lazy Sunday evening that Yoongi spends watching some god-awful competitive fishing show that you pretend to like just because it makes him smile.

It’s funny how simple a creature Yoongi turns out to be, considering how mysterious he’d first seemed. He’s a man of few words but what he does say is always interesting, and you’d like to think you’ve gotten to know him pretty well as the week’s gone by. He’s considerate and hard-working, introverted and yet speaks so fondly of the few friends he professes to have. He loves music and fishing, cooking and expensive wine, and when he’s tipsy his voice gets even slower and deeper - his tone so dulcet that you could happily listen to him talk all night.

By the end of the week you’ve spent more time in Yoongi’s apartment than you have your own, and you won’t pretend for even a second that you’ve thought that it’s a bad thing. You’re well and truly smitten; the favourite part of your day now the moment you come home and have both Yoongi and the dogs there to greet you, even though that home is not your own.

Picturing that - thinking of him - is the only thing that’s gotten you through the shittiness of your last few hours at work. You really do enjoy your job, for the most part, but some days are inevitably better than others and today… today was a bad, bad, bad day. The kind of bad day that has you searching the liquor aisle for the whisky with the highest volume of alcohol you can possibly find - the same bottle that you later slam down on Yoongi’s kitchen counter having already let yourself into his apartment, sighing every step of the way.

“Bad day?” he asks, not yet having turned around to see the miserable look on your face. You can’t bring yourself to say anything, too focused on trying to hold yourself together after having struggled to do so all afternoon, so you stay quiet as you give Remi the fussing she’s after. Her tail is wagging with a glee you’re envious of, her fuzzy tummy growing more and more round by the day.

“I can make this Irish if you want.” You look up to see Yoongi standing beside you with a mug of coffee held in both hands and a soft smile on his face, and suddenly it’s just all too much. The dam inside you that’d slowly begin to crack throughout the day finally bursts at the sight of him - overcome with emotion at having him treat you so kindly after having faced such rudeness and meanness for hours on end.

“I’m sorry!” you squeak out as you burst into tears, your elbows meeting the counter as your face falls into your hands, not wanting to have Yoongi see you cry. You can’t see anything with your eyes so tightly screwed shut, but if you could you’d witness the look of shock appear on Yoongi’s face - see his eyes widen and his lips slightly part as the rest of him freezes, unsure of what to do.

You really try your best to stem your tears, but you’re so embarrassed to have him see you like this that it only makes you cry harder, shoulders trembling as you curl in on yourself in an attempt to hide.

“I just h-had such a h-h-horrible day,” you sob, “This one w-woman - this bitch - she was s-so m-mean and she wouldn’t just-” You abruptly stop speaking as an arm is suddenly laid across your shoulders, and before you realise what’s happening you’re being pulled into an embrace; your face nestled into a soft sweater.

“Hey, hey,” you're gently shushed, and it’s not so much that Yoongi's comforting you that helps to calm you down, nor the feel of one of his large hands rubbing up and down the length of your back. It’s more the shock of having Yoongi actually touch you that allows you to finally start catching your breath, your hands unknowingly reaching out to hold onto him. “Whatever happened, it’s over now, right? It’ll be ok,” he soothes.

“Uh-huh,” you whisper into fabric, silently praying that your nose hasn’t run all over it, and although you’re no longer crying you allow yourself a moment more to enjoy the feel of his arms around you. He smells wonderful - his slight body warm and firm pressed against you - and all you want to do is tighten your grip on his sweater and pull him even closer; tilt your head to skim your lips against his throat.

“You ok?” Yoongi asks, and as you finally lift your head and dab away the moisture from under your eyes the last thing you expect is to feel his fingers fleetingly touch your hair. You meet his gaze and the concern you see there is almost enough to make you start crying all over again - but then you watch as his pupils dart back and forth, up and down as he scans your face - and suddenly… suddenly you're kissing him.

Or is it him who's kissing you?

You're not sure who it is that makes the first move, but regardless of whoever the instigator may be, your mouths still meet in the middle. Yoongi's lips are soft but his kiss is firm - purposeful - and utterly takes your breath away. You make a grab for him again, clutching at the fabric at his hip to keep him close as you sweep your tongue across the seam of his lips, Yoongi's hands coming to rest upon your face. They're so warm, so gentle as he traces your cheekbones with his thumbs, and-

All too soon he's pulling away, brought to his senses the moment he feels the moisture that lingers on your cheeks, and the quiet whine of protest that you're unable to hold back has your face burning with shame.

"S-sorry," he rapidly stammers out as he stumbles back out of reach, retreating to the other side of the counter; a barrier between you. His cheeks are flushed with the same heat as yours, unable to meet your eyes as he wipes at the corner of his mouth with his thumb and then rubs the side of his neck. "I didn't mean… I mean… you…"

Oh lord, this is awkward. So, so awkward! What the hell did you have to go and kiss him for?! He looks so painfully uncomfortable right now that you're sure he'd rather melt into the floor than look at you, and oh my god you're such an idiot! What kind of moron goes snogging someone's face off at the slightest bit of physical contact? Are you really that touch deprived?!

"Sorry," he repeats, "You're upset-" You're already up and out of your stool before Yoongi even has the chance to finish his sentence.

"I should just go," you blurt out as you pick Remi up off the floor and into your arms despite her huffed exhale of protest. You're being a coward, you know that, but you're too fragile right now to go through the whole 'let you down gently' routine without sobbing all over again - especially if it's coming from someone you're so crazy about.

No, you'd rather just see yourself out now and save him the bother. Best for everyone if you just pretend this never happened…

"Thanks for watching her." You're moving too quickly for him to protest - to do anything but stand with his mouth agape as you race for the front door like the very flames of hell are licking at your heels.

"Don't forget your-!" you hear Yoongi call, pulling the front door shut behind you too fast to make out the end of his sentence. You scurry down the hall back to your own apartment, and it’s only as you’re struggling to get inside with Remi still balanced on your hip that you realise your hands are lightly shaking.

“Never happened,” you mumble to yourself once you finally get the blasted thing open, relinquishing Remi from where she’d begun to wriggle and squirm in your grasp. “Never happened. It was just one stupid, silly kiss.” You lean back against your front door, exhaling a sigh. “Just… forget about it.”

And oh, you really try. You try everything and anything you can think of to get Yoongi off of your mind, but nothing works; not mindless trash TV, not blasting your favourite tunes while you’re in the shower - not finishing off the bottle of wine leftover from the night before last. If anything, alcohol just makes things ten times worse. As you lie on your bed amidst a tipsy haze, all you can think about is the way his lips felt pressed to yours and of how he tasted like the coffee you hadn’t had the chance to drink. The low noise he’d made in the back of his throat when you’d grabbed at his clothes. It was so hot… he’s so hot, and more than anything you just want to go back there right now and-

You groan aloud in frustration, raking your fingers through your hair to keep them from finding their way into your pants. God, you’re so royally fucked - and not in the way you’re wishing you were - but you’re too far tired and conflicted and just… sad to want to masturbate, no matter how fiercely Yoongi’s kiss may have made you ache. So you ignore it, cocoon yourself in your duvet whilst Remi snores at your feet, and will yourself to fall asleep whilst silently reassuring yourself that tomorrow is another day.

Come the next morning (which is mercifully hangover free), you ready yourself for work repeating just that. Today has to be better - or at least it can't get much worse - and what happened with Yoongi was just… a blip. Carelessness on your part. And knowing Yoongi as you now do, you’re sure he’ll be far too much of a gentleman to mention it anyway.

That’s if he doesn’t ghost you entirely, of course, which is a legitimate possibility.

Luckily, your day does turn out a whole lot better than the one that came before; a small mercy, given how worked up you've been worrying about where to expect to find Remi once you get home. Whether it be in your apartment or Yoongi's, you're unsure which option would be preferable. If she's waiting at Yoongi's you'll have no choice but to go over there and face the consequences of last night's actions - a thought you by no means relish - but if she's at yours… well, you suppose that might just be even worse.

You’re not too proud to admit that Yoongi's help with Remi has been invaluable over the past weeks, and if you're being honest, his friendship has too. You can't imagine going back to the way it was before: barely seeing one another, exchanging nothing but awkward smiles in the hallway. If he were to walk out of your life now you would really, really miss him - to say the least. And that's… kind of terrifying.

At heart, though, you’re a positive person, and you want to believe that things will just carry on the way they have before. And maybe it’s just wishful thinking, but your hope is what has you stopping by the same old corner store on the way home and picking up a bottle of wine from a brand you know Yoongi likes, just as you’ve done so many times before. And maybe it might be considered hedging your bets, but after the grocery store you head across the street to one of the local takeout places, too. You know Yoongi’s all about meat, meat and more meat when it comes to food, so it’s not hard for you to figure out what to order; lamb skewers, tempura shrimp, spicy pork belly. Some of it you don’t even like yourself, so you hope to god Remi’s waiting at Yoongi’s and not at yours otherwise there’s a hell of a lot of food about to go to waste.

You order so much, in fact, that your arms are aching by the time you get home - though that does nothing to distract you from the way your heart starts to gallop when it comes time to put your keys in the lock and open up your front door. You hold your breath as it swings open, eyes closing for a second as you pray not to hear the click-clack of Remi’s claws on the floor, and when nothing comes you sigh with relief, never so glad to be greeted by an empty home.

“Thank the lord,” you murmur as you place everything down on the kitchen table, figuring you may as well use this chance to quickly get changed and freshen up before heading next door. Normally you’d just go round in your work clothes, and truthfully there’s nothing actually wrong with what you’re already wearing, but you appreciate just a little bit of extra time to mentally prepare.

Not that it helps, of course. Whether in a skirt or jeans, you’re crapping your pants just as much as you knock on his door but you plaster a smile on your face nonetheless, holding aloft your wine and takeout bags as the door starts to open.

“Hi,” you beam as Yoongi appears, “I brought goodies!” He looks mildly taken aback by the sight of you and how bubbly you sound - even more so when you stride forward to enter without him yet having said a word. “You’re not cooking yet,” you observe as you enter the kitchen and hear the front door shut behind you, Yoongi’s soft footfalls across the floor following shortly after, “Good.”

You turn on the spot, grinning inanely as you try not to make it too obvious that you’re checking him out. Must he really look so effortlessly stylish all the time? He even has that whole ‘just got out of bed’ ruffled hair thing going on, and god, you hate him for how badly it makes you want to run your fingers through it to see if it’s as soft as it looks.

“Where’s Rem?” you ask before your thoughts run too far amok, tearing your eyes away from him in favour of peering over his shoulder towards the living room.

“Think they’re in my room,” he explains, fingers fiddling with the arm of the glasses he’s wearing and then straying into his hair to scratch at his scalp. He must’ve been in his studio prior to your arrival - it’s the only time you really ever see him wearing his glasses. “She’s been acting kinda weird today.”

Frowning, you follow after him as he leads you down the hallway towards his bedroom. You try not to focus on the fact that this will have been the first time you’ve seen it, or mourn that now that you are it’s in less-than-sexy circumstances.

“What do you mean ‘weird’?”

“Just… restless, I guess. She didn’t wanna walk but I had to stop her scratching up the carpet ‘cus she keeps wanting to dig.” He pushes open the door and immediately you gasp, freezing in the doorway. Yoongi sighs heavily, surveying the damage before him. “And ruin my bedding, apparently.”

To be fair, it's not really that bad - and you're not just saying that because Remi's your dog and you're a wee bit overprotective, either. Yes, there's one pillow that's been pulled off the bed and had its stuffing ripped out, but aside from that all that's really moved is his sheets, and whilst they've been pulled into a heap the floor there doesn't appear to be any other damage or… bodily fluids amidst them.

"Oh Rem, what've you been up to?" you coo, kneeling down beside the heap of blankets that the two dogs are curled up amongst. Holly comes alive at the sound of your voice, instantly perking up, and within seconds he's on his feet and visiting you and Yoongi in turn for a scratch behind the ears. Remi, however, is somewhat lazier in her response. She lifts her head slowly, emitting a pathetic little sound as she gazes up at you, pointed ears pressed back against the top of her head.

"What's wrong girl?" Concerned, you're cautious in the way you put your hands on her, but you're relieved to find she's just as eager to receive affection as ever. It's only when you run your hand across her belly that she seems to object, her small body tensing.

"She's been in here for a couple hours," Yoongi informs you as he comes to kneel beside you on the carpet. "I tried to feed her dinner but she wasn't interested - thought it might've been something to do with her throwing up earlier on."

"You think we should call the vet?" Yoongi shakes his head as Holly comes to reclaim his spot next to his lady friend. Snuggling in close, he gives her an affectionate lick.

"I thought about it," he admits, giving Remi's head a gentle pat, "But I don't think she's sick. I think she's in labour."

"Really?" Now that you think about it, the time frame does seem about right. You just hadn't expected it to happen so soon…

"Called my brother and he seems to think so." Looking up from Remi your gaze meets Yoongi's, and you figure it must show on your face how overwhelmed you're feeling because the smile that he gives you is a kind one.

"So, what do we do?" you ask, sinking back from your knees and onto your bottom instead, crossing your legs. Yoongi copies you, and for a second your eyes dart to the expanse of skin that's revealed to you through the rip in his jeans, right across the thigh.

"Not much, apparently. Not unless something goes wrong and Remi needs a hand." You feel anxiety twist your expression and Yoongi brow furrows in sympathy, his fingers drumming against his knees. "We've just gotta sit and wait." You chuckle mirthlessly, rolling your eyes.

"Never really been the patient type." Yoongi smiles, rising to his feet and placing his hand on your shoulder as he goes, giving it a squeeze that makes your stomach go topsy-turvy.

"I guess I better go get us some supplies to keep us going then, huh?"

"That'd be good," you smile, blushing as he squeezes it once more before finally letting go. You turn back to Remi as he leaves the room, worrying your bottom lip until you unexpectedly hear him call your name. He lingers in the doorway, one hand on the frame.

"Everything's gonna be fine," he assures you. "Trust me." And somehow, without question, you do.

It's a little odd, really, how effortlessly things have gone back to normal considering what went on between you last night. Perhaps it's the pressure of the unfamiliar situation you've been thrust into that's redirected your attention elsewhere and thereby alleviated the tension. Or maybe it was just never as big of a deal as you'd made it out to be in your head. Either way, you're grateful.

That's not to say there's no tension at all, mind, but rather than making things feel uncomfortable it's more like… like there's a charge between you. A spark. You can feel it all the while you're sat eating dinner together cross-legged on his bedroom floor, lips tingling from how spicy (albeit delicious) the food is. Coy smiles and stolen glances are made amongst idle chit-chat, distracting you from the waves of worry that rise and then recede with each little sound that Remi makes which turn out to be nothing.

You've no idea how long labour usually tends to last for dogs, but you can only hope that if or when you ever decide to have children, that you handle it just as quietly and calmly as Remi. You hope whoever you’re with is attentive as Holly, too, and you know that’s an odd thing to think but you can’t help but admire the way he is with her; laying patiently just a few feet away, his attention unwavering.

Technically you know it isn’t the norm for the ‘daddy dog’ to be around while his bitch is giving birth (or at least so Yoongi had said), just in case his presence made Remi nervous or agitated, but these pair seem to be a bit an anomaly in that respect. When Yoongi had tried to extract Holly from the room prior to eating dinner, Remi had gotten more restless than ever and so you’d been forced to let him back in despite all the guidance advising the contrary. You’ll just have to keep an extra close eye on him when the puppies actually arrive, you suppose, though you know you can rely on Yoongi to keep him in line.

And to be fair, it seems as though you’re able to rely on Yoongi an awful lot in general these days. Having been so preoccupied with your new job you’ve done shamefully little research as to what to expect and how to prepare for Remi to give birth, naively believing that you still had plenty of time to spare.

Lucky for you, Yoongi seems to have everything handled; the ‘supplies’ he’d previously mentioned turning out to be a heap of freshly washed towels, shiny surgical scissors and some sort of sucker device - the likes you imagine to be used for clearing snotty babies noses. You eye it nervously as you finish your last mouthful of shrimp, silently hoping you won’t need anything other than the towels and a little bit of luck.

“Thanks for dinner.” You drag your eyes away from the scissors, Yoongi’s voice having interrupted your thoughts.

“No worries,” you reply, smiling gratefully as Yoongi takes your empty plate from your hands to stack it on top of his own. He puts them aside for a moment as he dutifully tidies everything away, putting the empty food cartons back into the plastic bag from whence they came. “About time I returned the favour.” Yoongi smiles wryly, no doubt too polite to point out that buying takeout and preparing a home-cooked meal isn’t quite the same thing.

“To be honest,” he says, using his preoccupation as a good excuse to avoid your gaze, “I wasn’t sure whether you were even going to come over tonight.”

Well, there goes the hope that you’d get through the evening without last night’s faux pas being mentioned.

“Well, it’s not like I could just leave Remi here…” you mumble, glancing away as Yoongi sits back down beside you having finished clearing up. You don’t want him to think that that’s the only reason you came but you’re not sure what else to say, fidgeting nervously with the hem of your sleeves.

There’s a moment of silence - a pause long enough that it prompts you to look up, and when you do you see that Yoongi looks just as nervous as you feel, picking at his cuticles.

“I…” He hesitates, huffing as though he’s almost frustrated with himself before forcing himself to look at you. His Adam’s apple bobs in his throat. “I’m glad you did, though. I wanted a chance to say I’m sorry for last night, for-”

“Don’t,” you interrupt, surprising yourself. His eyes widen behind his glasses, his mouth hanging open having been caught off guard, and god damn it, he looks adorable. “We’re friends, right? I don’t want us to have to keep apologising to each other all the time for every little thing.” Yoongi nods, shutting his mouth.

Was that… disappointment you saw in his eyes when you referred to him as your friend? Yoongi smiles weakly but it looks forced - unnatural - and it disappears too fast for it to have been real. In its wake a frown appears, one that deepens as his attention returns to Remi, and it makes you ache in your chest to see it. Since you’ve become closer, you’ve gotten so used to seeing his smile and hearing him laugh that this just feels wrong.

All of this - you hiding the way you feel, pretending like last night’s kiss wasn’t the best thing to happen to you in… in forever; acting like Yoongi isn’t the best thing to happen to you in forever - it’s all wrong. You should tell him what he means to you. You need to.

“Yoongi,” you say gently, calling back his attention, and when he looks at you your stomach churns so fiercely with nerves you fear you might lose your dinner. You swallow, trying to get a hold of yourself, and bravely reach out to snatch his hand up from where it rested on his knee, threading your fingers between his. He looks down dumbly at your conjoined hands, eyes even wider than they were before. “I… I didn’t mind it. When you kissed me.” You feel your cheeks burning with heat but force yourself to continue, reassured that Yoongi hasn’t immediately pulled his hand away. “Or when I kissed you. However it happened.” You titter a nervous laugh, acutely aware of how clammy your palms are, and you’re glad to see that Yoongi looks just as affected by your confession as you are; every inch of his skin flushed a pretty blush pink under his normal skin tone. “There was never anything to apologise for.”

You flash him a nervous smile once you’ve finally done talking, giving his hand a squeeze of encouragement in hopes that he won’t leave you hanging too long before voicing some sort of reply. A confession of undying love is preferable, obviously, but short of that just knowing he’s not totally repulsed would be enough.

You can’t say you expect the sudden laugh he lets out - nor know what to make of it - and you’re just about to start freaking out and pull your hand away when Yoongi shifts closer to you and places his other hand over the two of yours. The rubbing of his thumb back and forth across your skin helps to calm you, and he’s no longer laughing as he looks into your eyes, taking a breath. He quietly calls your name, leaning closer.

And then suddenly, Remi whines, and the two of you instantly break apart.

“You ok Rem?” Quickly, you rise to your knees and shuffle towards her, frowning with concern. You don’t mean to panic, but this is the first sound of obvious distress you’ve heard from her and you can’t stand the thought of your sweet girl being in pain.

She looks up at you from where she’s nestled amongst Yoongi’s covers, panting hard, and you have to force yourself not to reach out to give her the fussing that you’re longing to. Beside you, Yoongi watches her closely; observes the way she stops panting just for a second or two and seems to stiffen slightly before beginning to pant all over again.

“Is she ok?” you ask, though you’re not sure why you’re presuming that Yoongi will know any more about what’s going on than you do.

Tentatively, Yoong reaches out and lays both hands on Remi’s stomach, waiting for the next pause in her panting. His eyes narrow, fingers twitching atop her fur.

“Her tummy feels hard,” he says, “I think she’s starting to push.”

“Shit,” you whisper under your breath, blushing when Yoongi chuckles in response. He removes his hands from her, placing them back on his lap just in time for Remi to decide she wants to move, and she rises from where’s lain in the duvet all this time and begins to circle and paw at the covers, panting ceaselessly.

“You can do it, girl.” Following Yoongi’s lead, you reach out and gently stroke her back in reassurance, very nearly bursting into tears when Remi chases after your hand when you pull it back, nuzzling into your palm. “We’ve got this.”

The next two hours pass by in something of a blur. You all maintain a careful distance (Holly included), giving affection when it seems like she's in need of it and holding back whenever she seems agitated or restless. She must get up and down to rearrange the sheets underneath her at least a hundred times before the first puppy is born, and you watch on with a mixture of horror and wonderment as it slowly emerges from inside her, trying your best not to cry at the sudden squeal she releases as her baby starts to crown, bottom first.

You won't lie, it's probably one of the most disgusting sights you've ever seen, and yet you can't help but feel overcome with emotion as you watch this puppy arrive into the world, still cocooned in its amniotic sac until Remi instinctively begins to lick it clean. She brings it to life with firm laps of her tongue, not stopping till its little body starts to wriggle and it releases the tiniest of squeaks. Frankly, it's a good job the puppy is so cute, as it gives you something to focus on as Remi decides to chow down on the placenta, thereby separating it from her offspring.

By the time the second puppy is born the first has already started to feed, it's head almost completely hidden by Remi's fur as it latches on. That birth is just as straightforward, too, though Yoongi does have to shorten its umbilical cord slightly when Remi leaves it dangling just a little too long. You're in awe of how confident and competent he seems as he does it, not a hint of hesitation evident on his face from the moment he realises what's needed to the moment it's done.

Ah, if only you could ever be so cool.

It’s only as the third and final puppy is being born that you start to encounter some trouble. You almost start to believe the scan had been wrong and you were only ever expecting two puppies, figuring that Remi must be done having not pushed in almost an hour and a half. But then all of a sudden she’s restless again and after a few minutes more another puppy begins to emerge. The sac of waters around this one looks different - so green and dark that you almost can’t make out what’s inside at all.

“Yoongi.” You say his name out of sheer nervousness, already knowing he’s right there beside you seeing the same very thing. Just like before, the puppy slides out in the amniotic sac onto the towel placed underneath Remi’s back end, but this time she doesn’t seem to pay nearly so much attention to it as she did the others - sparing it just enough licks to break the sac and then turning away, closing her eyes.

All of Remi’s puppies so far have been just as white in colour as Remi herself, and so would this puppy be if its fur weren’t stained an unpleasant shade of green. By Remi’s hind legs it lies limply on the towel; unmoving, unbreathing.

“Yoongi,” you choke out, your eyes spilling over with tears, “Yoongi, it’s not breathing. Yoongi, it-” Stifling a sob, you slap your hands over your mouth as Yoongi springs into action next to you.

Brow furrowed in concentration, he snatches up the scissors and deftly separates the puppy from its placenta just like he did for the one that came before. He scoops it up in both hands and tilts its head down in order to help any fluids that might remain to drain out, murmuring urgently under his breath.

“Pass me the sucker,” he suddenly demands, outstretching his hand, and you rush to obey, your own hands shaking as you place it in his palm and watch on as he precedes to suction each of the puppy’s tiny nostrils and mouth. You pray that that will do the job. To see some sort of response, the tiniest wiggle or smallest of sounds. Anything! But nothing happens - nothing at all - and you can tell even Yoongi’s starting to get desperate.

“C’mon little guy,” he mumbles, wrapping the puppy in the towel and starting to vigorously rub its back, its stomach, its head - up and down all over, over and over again. “C’mon, c’mon, c’mon.” Even Yoongi’s eyes are looking glassy now, the tip of his nose turning red as he holds back the tears that you’ve long since succumbed to.

And then, just as your face falls into your hands and a sob shakes your shoulders, you hear the tiniest, most fragile of sounds. A squeak followed by a sharp inhale of breath, and when you sharply look up you see that the tiniest puppy of the litter so far has finally begun to squirm, its mouth opening up wide to display the tiny pink tongue within.

“Oh my god!” You’re half laughing half crying as Yoongi stares down at the new life down within his hands, his eyes wide with wonderment. There are tears trickling down his cheeks but he’s smiling more brightly than you’ve ever seen before, and he’s so heart-breakingly gentle as he lowers the puppy back down to Remi’s level and presents him to her.

“You did so good, girl,” he praises, voice thick with emotion as Remi begins to lick the puppy with renewed enthusiasm. She only stops once Yoongi slowly moves him away to nestle him in between his siblings, encouraging him to feed with softly whispered words of encouragement, and he waits until the puppy is eagerly suckling to finally let go and back off, exhaling a sigh of relief.

"Well, that was-" Yoongi doesn't get the chance to finish what he's saying, abruptly silenced apart from the one lone 'oomph' he grunts out as your bodies collide, dropping the towel with which he'd just been wiping his hands.

"You-" you mumble against his lips between each frantic, urgent kiss. "You - are - amazing." He's blindsided and you can't blame him; unresponsive and unyielding. But Yoongi soon gets with the program, his arms looping around your waist to pull you flush against his chest.

His face is wet when you take it in your hands - just like yours - but those tears are long forgotten as the two of you quickly become lost in one another. It feels so exhilarating to have Yoongi kiss you back so enthusiastically; makes you believe that maybe he's been thinking about this just as much as you. To hear him sigh your name has you melting against him, your whole body aflame with molten fire, and when you gently bite his lip it delights you even more to hear the way his breath hitches.

"You really weren't kidding, were you?" Yoongi asks as he attempts to catch his breath, your attention now focused on trailing kisses along the angle of his jaw.

"About what?" you murmur in reply, grinning against his skin as his hands grab at your clothes when you softly nip at his earlobe.

"About not minding about the kiss."

"Oh no, not at all," you admit, tone playful, and you're just about to begin tracing kisses down his neck when one of Yoongi's hands finds your chin and tilts your head up, bringing your gaze back to his. His lips are curved in a gentle smile as he brushes them against yours, chuckling when you attempt to chase after them as he pulls away.

"Good to know." His eyes follow the movement of his thumb as he drags it across your bottom lip, moistening his own with a flick of his tongue. His touch lingers at the corner of your mouth for just a second longer, and in that moment you can feel your heart racing at the thought of what he might do next. "As much as I'd like to explore this further-"

Beside you, you hear the sound of Remi's puppies softly squeaking, and when you look down to where Remi's lay, you see that Holly has used your momentary distraction as an opportunity to start sneaking over, sniffing at the air. You look back to Yoongi and are met with a regretful smile as he takes his hands off of you in favour of straightening the glasses that had been knocked askew by your passion.

"Right," you sigh, looking around at all of the surrounding mess, "We're grandparents now, huh? Have to be responsible. Mature." ie. not go carrying on like a pair of horny teenagers while there are still pieces of placenta strewn about the place.

Yoongi looks up at you from where he's already knelt down gathering up some of the dirty towels. He smirks in a way you've never seen from him before - a way that makes your insides clench with excitement.

"For now, sure.”

You're infinitely grateful that Yoongi doesn't put you in charge of any of the messy stuff when it comes to clearing up. All he tasks you with is watching over the puppies and keeping a very curious Holly at bay from his new offspring whilst Remi recovers and he deals with the carnage that's been left behind. It's not a difficult job by any means. Holly is more than happy to be waylaid by tickles under the chin and tummy rubs, and you're thankful for that given how preoccupied you are with the images of what’s just happened as they replay over and over in your head.

You still can't believe that you kissed him. That you kissed Yoongi and he kissed you back - kissed you back and, unless you're horribly mistaken, wanted more . And what did he mean 'for now'? Does he want to pick up where you left off tonight? Tomorrow? Maybe he's just saying that to give himself an out in the future? Just in case he changes his mind…

No, no, he wouldn't do that. No one could kiss like that if they weren't really into it, and god , what a kiss. It may have been a while, but you can't even remember the last time locking lips had you feeling so hot and heavy. Have you ever had a kiss quite like that before? You’re sure you’d remember it if you had.

“How’re they doing?” You automatically smile at the sound of Yoongi’s voice, hoping that the flush of your cheeks won’t give away the explicit nature of the daydreaming he’s just interrupted. Stood in the doorway, you notice he’s no longer wearing his glasses, though the evidence of them remains in the pink indentations on either side of his nose. Now that his glasses are gone the dark circles under his eyes are more evident, and you feel your brow creasing with worry as he enters the room and bends down next to you, stifling a yawn as he gives Holly a little love behind the ears.

Whilst not being the most physically strenuous of evenings, tonight has been emotionally demanding for you both, and it’s only now as you realise that that you come to appreciate how utterly drained you feel. You can only assume Yoongi feels similarly, given by the slightly glazed look in his eyes as he checks in on the puppies, one by one.

“They’re doing pretty good, I think.” Or at least, you think they are. One by one the puppies had stopped nursing and fallen asleep next to one another, each with a full round belly. That can only be a good thing, right? “Remi’s pooped.” She hasn’t moved since giving birth, as fast asleep as the puppies laid at her side.

“She’s earned her rest,” Yoongi admires fondly, giving her a very brief pad on the head so as not to wake her. You ‘mm’ your agreement, swallowing back the emotion that rises once more in your chest. You’re so proud it almost makes you ache. “I was thinking,” he continues, turning his attention to you, “Seems a shame to move her. You want to sleep here tonight so you can still keep an eye?”

You feel your lips part at his question, your mind automatically falling straight into the gutter. So he does mean to continue things tonight, then…

Seeing your expression, Yoongi grins wolfishly as he stands, letting out a chuckle.

“The couch pulls out into a futon, so you can take the bed, if you do want to stay.

Oh. So, maybe not then…

You desperately try not to let the disappointment show in your face but you figure it must at least a little seeing as Yoongi begins to laugh again, eyes full of mirth. He extends his hand to you to help you stand and you marvel once more at how long his fingers are as they thread between yours; how delicate yet so strong. The last thing you expect is to be pulled into his arms again so soon and so suddenly, near losing your balance as Yoongi draws you near.

“You’re cute when you pout,” he teases, taking your bottom lip between his thumb and forefinger and giving it a gentle pinch. The smirk he’s wearing is as infuriating as it is sexy and you’re powerless to resist as Yoongi leans in to brush his lips ever so sweetly against yours, ever so fleeting.

He’s enjoying this too much, damn it. You should’ve never given yourself away! Can he feel how hard your heart is beating, you wonder? Can he feel how much you want him from how needily you grab at his belt loops?

“Let’s not rush anything,” he mumbles as you insist on kissing him once more, leaning forward onto your tippy-toes. Sighing, you eventually pull away, eyes opening to see Yoongi looking down at you with thinly veiled amusement. His smile is fond rather than teasing, though, so you let it slide. He’s right, anyway, you suppose. The two of you have only just revealed your mutual affection for one another; no need to go jumping into bed straight away.

Ugh, being mature sucks.

Reluctantly, you part ways for the time being and head back to your own apartment to ready yourself for bed. You fill the small wash bag you usually take on vacation with all the toiletries you might need before embarking on the arduous task of deciding what to change into. Do you go for ultimate comfort and opt for a baggy t-shirt and sweats, or do you dress to impress and slip on a silky camisole?

It takes you a shameful amount of time to decide but in the end you settle on a compromise; one of your cuter, cotton t-shirts and a pair of shorts of a slightly more modest length. After all, Yoongi’s made it perfectly clear that getting laid isn’t on the cards tonight. No point in making too much of an effort - he might start to think you’re not coming back if you take the time to go shave your legs. You cast them a cursory glance as you slip on your sliders ready to go back next door; they’re not obviously fuzzy from a distance, at least.

When you get back to Yoongi’s apartment, he’s nowhere to be seen. You figure he must be in the spare bedroom changing (and boy are you envious he has one of those) because he’s not in his own, and wherever he is he must’ve taken Holly with him as Remi and her puppies continue to sleep just as soundly as when you left. He’s clearly been busy, though; there are fresh sheets on the bed, the corner of the duvet pulled back as though inviting you in. Considerate as always.

You figure you may as well carry on getting ready for bed in Yoongi’s absence, and with a yawn and a rub of your eyes, you dig out your toothbrush and head toward the bathroom, sliders slapping against the floor.

“Oh!” You almost drop your brush when you push open the bathroom door and find Yoongi inside, Holly sitting obediently at his feet. You thank God he’s merely brushing his teeth and not in the shower - or worse, on the toilet - though you still stutter apologies and start to leave until Yoongi waves a hand to beckon you in, unbothered. He smiles at you in the mirror, lips lined with foam, and you shyly smile in return as he hands you the very same toothpaste.

Together, the two of you stand and brush your teeth; the room silent other than the rustling of bristles against enamel. Your eyes keep meeting in the mirror and oh, how you wish you were able to ignore the way your face begins to blush and how Yoongi’s smile just grows and grows the more embarrassed you get. It’s just so domestic, the two of you, stood side by side like this. Like you’re husband and wife just going about your normal nightly routine; you’ll spit and rinse and then dab your mouths with matching ‘his’ and ‘hers’ towels.

Hey, a girl can dream, right?

“Thanks for getting the bed all sorted,” you say once you’re all done and Yoongi follows you out into the hallway with a nod and a ‘no problem’.

“Just come wake me up if you need anything, alright?” This time it’s your turn to nod, and you’re about to head back to Yoongi’s room when he suddenly reaches out and brushes his thumb against your cheek, smiling softly. It grows when you lean into his touch, sighing, and you see his chest rise and fall with a heavy inhale before he reluctantly pulls away. His hand falls back to his side and you have to resist the urge to reach out and take it in your own.

“Goodnight, Yoongi,” you bid him, his name heavy on your tongue.

“Goodnight,” he replies, and just the timbre of Yoongi’s voice alone is enough to make your stomach flip with excitement. It makes it hard to drag yourself away, and even harder to force yourself to relax once you finally slip between Yoongi’s sheets, knowing that he’s just down the hall. It doesn’t help that they smell just like him, too, despite being clean, and maybe it makes you a bit of a creeper but you won’t deny that you take great pleasure in snuggling your face into Yoongi’s pillow, wishing you lying on his chest instead.

You don’t know exactly how long it takes you to fall asleep, nor how long you’re asleep before the sound of Yoongi’s voice awakens you. Bleary-eyed, you look towards the door and see a slip of light shining beneath from the light in the hallway, disturbed by the movement of shadow.

“Sorry, Hol. you can’t go in there.” you hear Yoongi whispering on the other side of the door. “The ladies need their rest.” Listening to them, you can’t help but internally ‘aww’. Apparently, Holly must miss Remi as much as she does when they’re parted, and oh how you wish she could actually understand a word you say so you could prod her awake and tell her so. “You don’t think I wish I was in there as well?”

Wide-eyed, you stare out into the darkness on hearing what Yoongi had said, hands clasped atop your chest. Is that true? Does he really want to be in here with you, sharing this bed? You can’t imagine any reason for it to be a lie; you know all your whispered confessions to Remi are always true enough.

What should you do? Would he be embarrassed if he knew you’d heard? Should you -

“C’mon, let’s go,” you hear him say, the shadows beneath the door disappearing, and it’s that sudden loss that forces you into the split decision you make that has you leaping up out of bed and flinging open Yoongi’s door before he can get too far away.

“You can sleep in here, if you want,” you declare, ever so slightly out of breath. You wish you’d spared a thought as to whether your hair might be a mess but fuck it, Yoongi’s already turned around and seen you now. “If it’s easier.” A hesitant smile tugs at the corner of his lips as he looks you up and down but there’s no such uncertainty from Holly; he happily runs right by you the moment there’s an opening, tail wagging up a storm.

“You sure?” he checks, taking a step forward and oh jesus, of course you’re sure when he’s stood there looking - sounding - like he does; voice rough with sleep, hair tousled and half-dressed. You can only be grateful that he doesn’t sleep topless or else you might just combust on the spot, so deliciously tight are the boxers he’s wearing.

“He’s just gonna keep you up all night otherwise.” You try to sound casual, you really do, but the nervous little giggle that escapes you as Yoongi enters your personal space gives you away. He grins as he passes you in the doorway to head towards the bed, and just before you shut the door to plunge you both back into darkness you see him reach out and pull back the covers from the right-hand side of the bed.

“You sleep on the left,” he says as he climbs in, sheets rustling, “Good.” He must sleep on the right then, you’re guessing, and it makes you more happy than it should do to learn this, smiling to yourself in the dark. You can hear the puppies snuffling around as you tentatively make your way over to the bed, but you're sure Remi will alert you if there's a problem. Right now, you're too busy mustering up the courage to climb back into bed next to a man you've been fantasising about for so long.

“Don't stand there getting cold.” After such a long night, Yoongi’s probably too eager for sleep to have much patience for you dithering around at the bedside. Now that your eyes have started to adjust to the lack of light, you can just about make out his face turned towards you, watching as you finally climb into bed, and it does nothing to lessen the nervous fluttering of your heart.

You’re so tense; uncertain of how to lie or how close you ought to get. You end up lying flat on your back for lack of a better idea, trying not to fidget as you stare up at the ceiling, and even though you’re not touching, you’re acutely aware of Yoongi’s body just a few inches away. His breaths are slow and steady - nothing like your subtle, shallow inhales - and you lie there wishing that you had any hope of remaining as cool and calm as he always seems to be.

Eventually, though, your panic begins to wane, enough that you trust yourself to speak without giving yourself away.

“Night Yoongi,” you whisper, not sure if he’s even still awake. You hear a soft sigh and the rustling of sheets from what you presume must be him turning over to make himself more comfortable. Soothed by his lack of reply, you, too, roll over in hopes of finally falling back to sleep, but when you’re met by the sight of Yoongi’s dark eyes looking back at you, you’re nothing but wide awake.

“Hi,” he murmurs quietly, and even in the dark you can make out the subtle curve of his mouth as he smiles. Your heart thuds in your chest, your throat suddenly dry, and even though you open your mouth to reply no sound has the chance to come out because faster than you can realise what’s happening, Yoongi’s closed the space between you and stolen your voice with a kiss.

This isn’t a kiss like the last one you shared. He was holding back last time - careful, gentle kisses that never lingered, never deepened - but this time is different. This time, Yoongi kisses like he means to consume you, with a hunger so fierce that it sparks a yearning just as voracious within you. It burns through you as Yoongi leans over your body, the weight of his own forcing you to roll onto your back as his fingers weave their way into your hair.

Willingly, you submit to him in each way in which he asks, one by one; when he coaxes his way into your mouth with the press of his tongue, when you hook your leg over his hip when the hand that was in your hair slides down onto your ass, pulling your pelvis towards him.

“Wha-” You gasp as he rocks his hips against you, only breaking your kiss out of the necessity to breathe, and the moment you do Yoongi simply finds another target for his lips, trailing them along the length of your jaw. “What happened to- to not rushing anything?”

“Fuck what I said,” he mumbles in reply, voice laden with desire. Yoongi doesn’t curse very often but there’s something so hot about him doing it now between teasing your throat with his teeth and rubbing himself up against you. “I’ve wanted you for months.”

Well, that makes two of you then. And he’s not lying, either; you can feel him growing steadily harder against your leg each time your bodies move, seeking out one another’s body heat.

“Can I take these off?” You feel his fingers lingering at the waistband of your shorts and eagerly you nod, pulling down one side as he handles the other till you’re able to kick them off somewhere beneath the covers.

“Please.” Rolling onto your back, you take Yoongi with you, seeking out his lips with your own. While his hand reaches between your legs, you’re busy tugging at his t-shirt, baring his torso just in time for your fingernails to dig into his shoulders at the first touch of his fingers, gasping as he brushes the tips featherlight against you.

“Baby,” he groans, and you preen at his use of the pet name, “You’re so wet.” And you can feel that it’s true - can feel how sinfully his digits are able to slip and slide about your cunt, teasing their way between your lips.

“Please Yoongi,” you plead, reaching between your bodies to grasp his wrist and tugging, tilting your pelvis up. You’ve been dreaming about having his fingers inside you for so long that you’ve no shame in showing him just how much you want it. You bite your bottom lip as he gazes down at you; watching, waiting to see your reaction as he presses one finger inside.

“Haa!” you cry out, head tipping back into the pillow, and your eyes are too tightly pressed shut to see the way Yoongi smiles in satisfaction. Craving more from you, one finger quickly becomes two, and you can’t help but grab at his shoulders for purchase as he so deftly stretches you open. Each motion - each thrust and curl of Yoongi’s fingers - makes the most obscene of noises, so gratuitous is your want for him.

Suddenly, Yoongi ceases your kissing, an urgent look in his eyes.

“Can I get a taste?” His request has your pelvic muscles clenching around his fingers with excitement - a response you presume Yoongi rightly perceives as your consent, given the cocky smile that appears on his face.

“Only if you’re as good as your tongue as you are with those fingers,” you tease, breathless. You’re pleased by the way he chuckles - even more so by his reply.

“Even better,” he promises, and though you mourn the loss of his fingers as they withdraw, you’re filled with too much anticipation to really care. His eyes fixed on yours, Yoongi kisses his way down your body, making sure to spare time for each of your breasts along the way. Through the material of your t-shirt he suckles and licks till the material has turned see-through, and only then does he hitch it up under your chin to reveal your chest and repeat the whole process again. He lingers long enough to leave no doubt that he’s as talented with his tongue as he’s said, your nipples tingling long after he’s done drawing them out, stiffened into tight little peaks.

Your hips are squirming by the time Yoong’s head is between your legs. He holds them steady with firm hands as he kisses at your inner thighs, twice suckling hard enough for you to know he’ll have left a mark - evidence of his desire. Your want to see him clearly is at odds with how comforting you find the dark, less self-conscious in knowing that even as Yoongi’s parts your lips with his thumb and forefinger, you’re not quite so brazenly exposed.

“Tell me what you like,” Yoongi instructs as he makes himself comfortable on his stomach. You mumble your agreement, heart hammering with a mixture of nerves and excitement because, in all honesty, this has never really been your favourite thing before. You don’t want him to be disappointed if this doesn’t get you there, hoping he’ll realise that it’s more about the journey than the destination.

He starts slow; long, luxurious laps up and down, ascending from your perineum and back again to gather your essence on his tongue. He moans as he does it, and just hearing how much he seems to be enjoying the taste of you makes it feel all the better as he does it once more.

“I like that,” you sigh, hips shifting to get more comfortable as you close your eyes and focus on the sensation of his tongue. His hands are on your thighs as your own make their way down into his hair, and it’s just as soft as you imagine it to be - Yoongi near purring with pleasure into your heat every time you dig your fingers in whenever something feels particularly good.

“Mm, o-ooh, I like that too.” Your moans become more frequent as Yoongi focuses his attention on your clitoris, the tip of his tongue gradually gaining in speed now that Yoongi’s found his purpose. For someone who has such a small mouth and such a dainty, kittenish tongue, you had no idea he could be so skilled with it - so deft as it wriggles beneath your clitoral hood in delicious figures of eight. “Fuck, that feels good…”

With each second longer that he continues, you can feel a heat gradually rising within you. It starts right there between your legs, burning in your core, but soon you can feel the flush all the way up to your chest and your back is beginning to sweat, your mouth open so each breath is a pant - a gasping moan.

In search of relief you tug off your t-shirt, but it does little to cool you down. Not when Yoongi seems determined to have you falling apart on the end of his tongue, not giving you a moment's reprieve even when your hips grow restless, toes curling into the blankets.

“Oh, oh, Yoongi,” you pant, one hand fisted in his hair whilst your other is grabbing at your own. Your fingers wind in so tight that Yoongi responds in kind by sucking your on your clit so hard it makes you cry out, but the throb of pain it leaves behind on serves to push you even closer to the edge, begging for your release.

“Please, please, please,” you babble, and your prayers are answered when Yoongi fills you with his fingers whilst simultaneously torturing you with his tongue. With artful precision, his fingers crook and curl inside you to stimulate your g-spot, and though he’s gentle to start with, Yoongi is an expert at interpreting the sounds you make to know exactly how rough or fast you want it - not stopping till arousal is gushing from you with every stroke.

“Mm, Yoongi, I’m gonna- oh, oh shit!” Yoongi doesn’t stop as your orgasm takes a hold of you, working you through it and savouring every drop of ecstasy he manages to coax out. It’s only when your body begins to twitch from overstimulation that he finally begins to slow his ministrations, eventually emerging from between your legs when you weakly call his name, tapping on his shoulder.

“Can I turn on the light?” he asks whilst you’re still basking in your post-orgasmic haze, too blissed out to do anything but nod your consent and watch as he reaches over you to turn on the lamp that rests on the bedside table over on your side of the bed. “Wanna see you.”

You have to throw your arm across your eyes when he first switches the light on. When you eventually start to pull it back, Yoongi is still leaning over you, an adoring look in his eyes as he gazes down.

“Would you look at that,” he says wistfully, cupping your cheek in his palm before leaning down to kiss you. You can taste yourself on his tongue as it rolls into your mouth but you can’t bring yourself to care, not when he stops kissing you just to softly whisper ‘you’re gorgeous’ right against your lips.

“You’re just saying that because you haven’t gotten yours yet,” you tease, trailing your fingertips down the length of his chest. Yoongi chuckles, his laughter interrupted by a groan when you cup his balls through his boxer shorts and press your palm against his length.

“Am not,” he insists, even as his hips rock forward into your hard and he nips at your bottom lip, groaning again as you squeeze.

“Still, I think it’s about time for your turn, don't you?” Whispered into his ear, your purr causes a shiver to run through Yoongi’s body before he abruptly pulls away and sits back on his heels. Seeming to take a moment to collect himself, he runs a hand through his hair, and you can’t help but take advantage of this opportunity to take a good long look at your lover - to admire his slight waist and unblemished skin. His face is flushed with desire and his eyes dark as they similarly trace your form, and you feel the very same blush fill your cheeks when your gaze is inevitably drawn to the ill-concealed erection within his boxers.

Even hidden away beneath black material, its outline is unmistakable - as is the wet patch of material at its tip. Yoongi catches you looking and you bite your lip at the smirk that curls his as he reaches inside his boxers and pulls his cock free, tugging them down just enough for you to make out the dark curls of pubic hair at its base.

“There are condoms in the drawer,” he tells you with a pointed look at the bedside table, but frankly you’re too entranced with the sight of his vascular hand as it strokes the prettiest cock you’ve ever seen up and down to want to look away.

You extend your arms towards him with a coy smile, opening them up in welcome, and Yoongi cocks a curious eyebrow as he shuffles out of his boxers before settling down on top of you, his cock laying heavy on your stomach.

“I’m clean, and I’m on birth control.” You hear Yoongi’s breath hitch with excitement as you place lingering kisses against his jaw, his cheek, his lips.

“You sure?” he checks, and you can’t help but giggle because even as he’s double-checking Yoongi is already lifting his hips and reaching down to take his cock in hand, guiding it towards your cunt. “We don’t need any more little accidents around here.” Your insides flutter in anticipation as you feel him run the tip of it between your folds till it’s slick with your arousal, one nod away from slipping inside with blissful ease.

“I’m sure,” you grin before kissing him again, and this time they don’t stop. Yoongi swallows up the moan you make as he slides his cock inside you in one smooth motion, right to the hilt. He smothers the gasp that comes thereafter when he pulls back and does it again, this time harder than the last. With his tongue between your teeth, the two of you soon find a rhythm that has you both perspiring with effort - the sounds of your heavy breathing mingling with the slap of flesh on flesh and the slick sounds of your cunt.

“Oh god, Yoongi!” you cry out when he alters the angle of his hips, pressing in harder, faster than before.

“I know baby.” He finds your hand where it lays upon the pillow and threads his fingers between yours, clasping it tight as he groans, forehead pressed to yours, and grits out, “I know, I know.”

You pick your feet up off the bed and wrap them tightly around his waist, urging him deeper, and Yoongi doesn’t disappoint. With renewed vigour, his hips surge forward, so deep that from this angle the tip of his cock not only kisses your cervix but grazes your g-spot on the way out as well, and even without any clitoral stimulation you can feel yourself getting close all over again.

“Say my name,” Yoongi urges between kisses, squeezing your hand in his, “Let me hear you say it.” You do as he asks - one time, two times, three times - and every time you do you swear your orgasm looms just that little bit closer.

“Again, baby,” he chokes out, and you can tell he’s getting close too from the tension in his voice and how his cock has begun to twitch, his thrusts frantic now. “Say it again for me.” Yoongi throws his head back, lifting his chest from yours to drive his cock into you even deeper. “Fuck, I love the way you say it.”

There are tears forming in the corners of your eyes as his name tumbles from your lips, so close that it near steals the breath from your lungs. Every one of your senses is filled with him - with the excruciating bliss that’s sizzling through your veins - and you can’t get enough. Gripping tighter, pulling closer. Kissing, touching, feeling. It’s so much. So much, and yet somehow you want more.

“Please,” you choke out against the press of his lips, and you don’t even know what you’re begging for with both your hands held in his, gripping them tight atop the pillow. You never want this to stop - never want it to end - and yet you’re both rapidly reaching the climax, tumbling into oblivion together.

You try to hold back, you really do, but when Yoongi groans your name, pressing in deep, you’ve not a shred of willpower left. You want to give in.

“I’m close,” he tells you, the words gritted out through his teeth, “Feel so good around me, baby.” He nips at your jawline - nuzzles so sweetly into the crook of your neck and smatters it with kisses. “Gonna cum with me? So pretty when you cum.”

“Yes,” you gasp, and you’re so close, so very, very close. “Cum in me, Yoongi, please - please .”

With the sounds of your pleading, Yoongi, too, loses all semblance of self-control. Driving his hips forward into you, he groans at the gradual tightening of your insides, and as his cock hardens even further, twitching in anticipation, you finally reach your end. It’s so intense you aren’t even able to speak through your climax - unable to vocalise how incredible it feels except for the raggedly drawn breaths you take once it finally begins to fade.

You’re disappointed to realise that Yoongi has already cum by the time you’ve returned to your senses, though from how hard he’s breathing you figure he must not have been too far behind. His face is flushed with heat, chest perspiring, and you can feel the warmth he’s filled you with trickling out from where his pelvis sits flush with yours.

He’s still holding your hands, you realise, and when Yoongi leans down to sweetly kiss you as he squeezes them in his own, you feel yourself blush even more fiercely than before, filled with girlish glee. Ridiculous, really, given all that you’ve just done.

“That was amazing,” you whisper against his lips, and his smile is just as coy as yours as he pulls away to look down into your eyes. He doesn’t say anything but his tender expression tells you all you need to know, as does the way he can’t help but kiss you over and over again before he finally withdraws.

“One second,” he tells you as he swings his legs out of bed and you roll onto your side to watch him go, laughing as he’s forced to shoo Holly out of the way from where’s sat waiting for attention, chin resting on the edge of the mattress.

“I hope he hasn’t been sitting there the whole time!” You watch fondly as Yoongi shimmies his boxers back on with a hop and a wiggle. Gosh, he really does have the cutest little butt… “We’ll have scarred him for life.”

“His own fault,” Yoongi dismisses, unconcerned. “I’ll just go grab some tissue.” He leaves the room for a moment or two, and in that time you have to try very hard to resist the urge to shimmy a little dance atop his mattress - the threat of accidentally making a mess on his newly changed bedsheets looming in your mind. At the foot of the bed, you can hear the puppies snuffling around, probably looking for their next feed, and you have to stop yourself from crawling to the other end of the bed to go look at them, too.

As it happens, Yoongi checks on them when he gets back in your stead. He passes you the tissues and then pre-occupies himself with Remi and the puppies whilst you clean yourself up, waiting until you climb back under the covers to finally rejoin you. He sighs in contentment as he gets comfortable, gazing up at the ceiling with a small smile tugging at the corner of his lips, and all you can do is stare at him in wonderment as you lay on your side, hardly daring to believe that the last half an hour or so was even real.

“I really like you,” you whisper after a minute or two has passed, still unable to wipe the goofy love-sick grin you’re wearing off of your face. Yoongi turns his head to the side to look at you, a cocky gleam in his eyes as he takes in your expression.

“Yeah?” he asks, eyebrow lifting. Effortlessly cool, he extends his left arm out across the pillow to invite you to curl against his side. You do so immediately, kissing the spot on which you then lay your head, snuggling close. You feel his lips press against the top of your head in turn, and through his chest you hear his heart begin to gallop as he squeezes you tightly in his arms, curling them around you. “I think I really kind of like you too.”

****

You never intended to keep them all.

One, maybe. You and Yoongi had talked about it; how it’d be a shame to sell them all and not get to see how the pups would eventually turn out. But the more time that went on - the longer the two of you spent with them and got to know and love all their little personalities - the more you couldn’t bear the idea of parting with even a single one.

And maybe you would’ve come around to the idea of them leaving if Yoongi hadn’t been just as smitten with them as you were. You were bad influences on each other, sending each other picture updates whenever either of you were out of the apartment ( your apartment, with both your names on the lease now, not just Yoongi’s). As if you could’ve really brought yourself to use any of those adorable photos to place an ad that would eventually take them away from you. You should’ve known from the moment they first opened up those beady little eyes and gazed into yours that you were done for.

Though five dogs is undeniably a handful, you can’t bring yourself to regret the decision. Not even now, as you hold a double lead in one hand and Yoongi holds a triple in the other, somehow still managing to keep yours conjoined as your pack pulls you along. God help you should the whole lot of them ever spot a squirrel and decide to run, or make a mad dash for a half-eaten pack of crisps strewn across the ground.

“Hey, hey, hey!” Yoongi warns, keeping a good grip on the puppies as they surge towards the greying spaniel that comes trotting along off-lead, his elderly owner just a little way down the path. “Nicely, nicely.”

You hope one day your dogs might be well enough behaved - or at least old and lazy enough - to walk so nicely off lead. The spaniel is adorably patient despite being mobbed by three white, fluffy clouds; their noses searching out every available orifice to sniff. You’re grateful that at least Remi and Holly have the manners to stay out of it, easily distracted by the sound of the treat packet you’re rustling inside your coat pocket.

“Oh, what a lovely little family you’ve got there!” the elderly woman coos as she comes closer, and you thank the lord Yoongi has the good sense to hold the puppies back. Even though they’re almost a year old they haven’t quite yet learned their strength, and you’ve no doubt they’d end up knocking her over if their overenthusiasm isn’t adequately reigned in. “You’re so blessed!”

Beside you Yoongi nods, his chin lifting in pride as the dogs wait to be petted one by one, tails wagging furiously along the ground. He’s too busy watching them to notice the instinctive way your hand reaches for your stomach at the kind old lady’s words, fingers splaying wide over your lower abdomen where a little life inside you grows.

You haven’t told him yet, but oh, you can’t help but start to grin as you imagine how shocked he’s going to be - how happy and excited. If you closed your eyes now, you’re sure you’d be able to imagine the exact smile he’ll wear, all teeth and gums and sparkling eyes.

Yoongi squeezes your hand in his, bringing you back to the present, and you give your tummy one last gentle rub as you return the woman’s smile, heart so full it feels fit to burst.

“Yeah," you smile, catching Yoongi's gaze and beaming all the more, "We really are.”

**** **** **** **** **** **** **** **** **** **** **** **** **** ****

Your feedback is always appreciated, dear readers! Please let me know what you think ^^

Also, I’m sure we all already know what Holly looks like, but just in case you were wondering about Remi’s breed, she is a Japanese Spitz who would like an awful lot like this -

And their puppies would end up look a little something like this -

Freakin’ adorable, right?

Also, those of you who’ve followed my blog for a while might’ve now realised that I modelled Remi after my own little Japanese Spitz, Shiro. Is that awfuly self indulgent of me? Oh yes. Do I care? Not even a little bit *grin*

#bts #yoongi fluff #yoongi smut #yoongi x reader #suga x reader #suga fluff #suga smut #min yoongi #suga #bts fluff #bts smut #domestic yoongi #soft yoongi #ultimate boyfriend yoongi #let's face it

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thattimdrakeguy · 2 years

Text

There’s a lot of people I disagree with on social media about comics, but very few who I actually wish would just go away. Not die, that’s extreme, but like, get a new hobby or interest.

I’m not going to say who, because that’s petty, but when ever I see them all I can think is “Can you calm down? Do you not do anything else? How many years have you been like this? You don’t even know what you’re saying anymore. That’s--that’s your fav and you think--THAT’S NOT EVEN ACCURATE BESIDES THESE TWO OR THR--You aren’t even a smidge logical like you’re pretending you are. You purposely want them to be out of chara--THEN WHY ACT LIKE YOU’RE DEFENDING THE ACTUAL CHARACT--This is dumb. You’re clearly only saying this for your narrow view of your fav. You don’t know anything about that character or T--in what world can you know so little but act like a know-it-all at the same time? You don’t know nearly as much as you’re pretending to. You just yell and act like it’s the right thing. I don’t even know how you have followers. Now you’re being hypocritical. That’s ironic. Stop acting superior. Are you ever happy about anything? Even when you act like you like something you make it seem like you’re still bitter.”

In no way, am I the perfect example of how a person should act, some probably think the same of me, but I’ve at least evolved quite a bit. But this person--it’s just...wow, no evolution. Same shit for years. No growth as a person, and no self-awareness. No one is perfect, but freaking woooow. In a weird way, I’ve made an effort to be better so I didn’t end up more like them.

It’s not just the opinions, because if that was the case, I wouldn’t wish they’d just go. Plenty of people say the same stuff as them, and I can accept it because they seem at least very chill. I may not like it, but in spirit there’s no issue with it. But the attitude, the aggression, the pure spiteful attitude this person has...it is tiring and nauseating.

Thankfully I don’t see them a lot, I barely do, but when I do, oh my gosh, they feel like a parody account but they’re not. It’s no one who I’ve interacted with as far as I’m aware. And a good deal is because, even on the off-chance there was a shared opinion, I can only imagine it as unbearable, because they’re so unnecessarily intense and lack any form of wit, or cleverness. They seem constantly pissed off, and vindictive.

An obtrusive bore who I’ve rarely seen anything intelligent from yet gets attention for reasons I can’t quite comprehend beyond they’ve stuck around for so long.

I know it’s weird to vent about a person I don’t know, but their whole vibe is the total opposite of what a human should have, all while acting like they have a moral vigor above nearly all else. It’s pretentious at best, and bordering on toxic.

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peekbackstage · 3 years

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Would you be willing to talk about how standards of masculinity and femininity in Asia differ from those in Europe/North America? I know, it's a ridiculously broad question but I think you mentioned it in passing previously and I would be really interested in your answer especially in the context of the music industry and idols. I (European) sometimes see male Asian idols as quite feminine (in appearance, maybe?) even if they publicly talk about typically masculine hobbies of theirs.

Hi Anon,

Sorry that it took me over a month to get to this question, but the sheer volume of research that is necessary to actually answer this is significant, as there is an enormous body of work in gender studies. There are academics who have staked their entire careers in this field of research, much of which isn’t actually transnational, being that regional gender studies alone is already an incredibly enormous field.

As such, in no way can I say that I’ve been able to delve into even 1% of all the research that is out there to properly address this question. While I can talk about gender issues in the United States, and gender issues that deal with Asian American identity, I am not an expert in transnational gender studies between Asia and Europe. That being said, I’ll do my best to answer what I can.

When we consider the concept of “masculinity” and “femininity,” we must first begin with the fundamental understanding that gender is both a construct and a performance. The myth of gender essentialism and of gender as a binary is a product of patriarchy and compulsory heterosexuality in each culture where it emerges.

What you must remember when you talk about gendered concepts such as “masculinity” and “femininity” is that there is no universal idea of “masculinity” or “femininity” that speaks across time and nation and culture. Even within specific regions, such as Asia, not only does each country have its own understanding of gender and national signifiers and norms that defines “femininity” or “masculinity,” but even within the borders of the nation-state itself, we can find significantly different discourses on femininity and masculinity that sometimes are in direct opposition with one another.

If we talk about the United States, for example, can we really say that there is a universal American idea of “masculinity” or “femininity”? How do we define a man, if what we understand to be a man is just a body that performs gender? What kind of signifiers are needed for such a performance? Is it Chris Evan’s Captain America? Or is it Chris Hemsworth’s Thor? What about Robert Downey Jr.’s Tony Stark? Do these characters form a single, cohesive idea of masculinity?

What about Ezra Miller’s Barry Allen? Miller is nonbinary - does their superhero status make them more masculine? Or are they less “masculine” because they are nonbinary?

Judith Butler tells us in Gender Trouble (1990) and Bodies That Matter: On the Discursive Limits of “Sex” (1993) that what we call gender is inherently a discursive performance of specific signifiers and behaviors that were assigned to the gender binary and enforced by compulsory heterosexuality. She writes:

Insofar as heterosexual gender norms produce inapproximate ideals, heterosexuality can be said to operate through the regulated production of hyperbolic versions of “man” and “woman.” These are for the most part compulsory performances, ones which none of us choose, but which each of us is forced to negotiate. (1993: 237)

Because gender norms vary regionally, there are no stable norms that coalesce into the idea of a single, universal American “masculinity.” What I mean by this is that your idea of what reads as “masculine” might not be what I personally consider to be “masculine,” as someone who grew up in a very left-leaning liberal cosmopolitan area of the United States.

What I am saying is this: Anon, I think you should consider challenging your idea of gender, because it sounds to me like you have a very regionally locked conception of the gender binary that informs your understanding of “masculinity” and femininity” - an understanding that simply does not exist in Asia, where there is not one, but many different forms of masculinity.

China, Japan, and South Korea all have significant cultural differences and understandings of gender, which has a direct relationship with one’s national and cultural identity.

Japan, for example, might consider an idol who has long, layered hair and a thin body to be the ideal for idol masculinity, but would not consider an idol to be representative of “real” Japanese masculinity, which is epitomized by the Japanese salaryman.

South Korea, however, has a very specific idea of what idol masculinity must look like - simultaneously hypermasculine (i.e. extremely muscular, chiseled body) and “feminine” (i.e. makeup and dyed hair, extravagant clothing with a soft, beautiful face.) But South Korea also presents us with a more “standardized” idea of masculinity that offers an alternative to the “flowerboy” masculinity performed by idols, when we consider actors such as Hyun Bin and Lee Min-ho.

China is a little more complex. In order to understand Chinese masculinity, we must first understand that prior to the Hallyu wave, the idea of the perfect Chinese man was defined by three qualities: 高富帅 (gaofushuai) tall, moneyed, and handsome - largely due to the emergence of the Chinese metrosexual.

According to Kam Louie:

[The] Chinese metrosexual, though urbanized, is quite different from his Western counterpart. There are several translations of the term in Chinese, two of the most common and standard being “bailing li'nan” 白领丽男 and “dushili'nan” 都市丽男，literally “white-collar beautiful man” and “city beautiful man.” The notion of “beautiful man” (li-nan) refers to one who looks after his appearance and has healthy habits and all of the qualities usually attributed to the metrosexual; these are also the attributes of the reconstituted “cool” salaryman in Japan, men who have abandoned the “salaryman warrior” image and imbibed recent transnational corporate ideologies and practices.

[...]

In fact, the concept of the metrosexual by its very nature defines a masculinity ideal that can only be attained by the moneyed classes. While it can be said to be a “softer” image than the macho male, it nevertheless encompasses a very “hard” and competitive core, one that is more aligned with the traditional “wen” part of the wen-wu dyad that I put forward as a conventional Chinese ideal and the “salaryman warrior” icon in Japan. Unsurprisingly, both metrosexuality and wen-wu masculinity are created and embraced by men who are “winners” in the patriarchal framework.

The wen-wu 文武 (cultural attainment – martial valor) dyad that Louie refers to is the idea that Chinese masculinity was traditionally shaped by “a dichotomy between cultural and martial accomplishments” and is not only an ideal that has defined Chinese masculinity throughout history, but is also a uniquely Chinese phenomenon.

When the Hallyu wave swept through China, in an effort to capture and maximize success in the Chinese market, South Korean idol companies recruited Chinese idols and mixed them into their groups. Idols such as Kris Wu, Han Geng, Jackson Wang, and Wang Yibo are just a few such idols whose masculinities were redefined by the Kpop idol ideal.

Once that crossover occurred, China’s idol image shifted towards the example South Korea set, with one caveat: such an example can only exist on stage, in music videos, and other “idol” products. Indeed, if we look at any brand campaigns featuring Wang Yibo, his image is decisively more metrosexual than idol; he is usually shot bare-faced and clean-cut, without the “idol” aesthetics that dominate his identity as Idol Wang Yibo. But, this meterosexual image, despite being the epitome of Chinese idealized masculinity, would still be viewed as more “feminine” when viewed by a North American gaze. (It is important to note that this gaze is uniquely North American, because meterosexual masculinity is actually also a European ideal!)

The North American gaze has been trained to view alternate forms of masculinity as non-masculine. We are inundated by countless images of hypermasculinity and hypersexual femininity in the media, which shapes our cultural consciousness and understanding of gender and sexuality and unattainable ideals.

It is important to be aware that these ideals are culturally and regionally codified and are not universal. It is also important to challenge these ideals, as you must ask yourself: why is it an ideal? Why must masculinity be defined in such a way in North America? Why does the North American gaze view an Asian male idol and immediately read femininity in his bodily performance? What does that say about your North American cultural consciousness and understanding of gender?

I encourage you to challenge these ideas, Anon.

“Always already a cultural sign, the body sets limits to the imaginary meanings that it occasions, but is never free of imaginary construction.” - Judith Butler

Works Cited

Butler, Judith. Gender Trouble. New York, NY, Routledge, 1990. Butler, Judith. Bodies That Matter: On the Discursive Limits of Sex. New York, NY, Routledge, 1993. Flowerboys and the appeal of 'soft masculinity' in South Korea. BBC, 2018, Louie, Kam. “Popular Culture and Masculinity Ideals in East Asia, with Special Reference to China.” The Journal of Asian Studies, Volume 71, Issue 4, November 2012 , pp. 929 - 943 Louie, Kam. Chinese, Japanese, and Global Masculine Identities. New York, NY, Routledge, 2003.

#masculinity #asian masculinity #gender performativity #wang yibo #gender studies #Anonymous #ask #peek answers

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itsnothingofinterest · 3 years

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I’ve often said that it seems like a lot of the main pros below All Might seem to end up representing serious flaws in hero society; specifically the ones on the hero side of things. So as a fun little exercise I thought I’d go over all those main pros and what flaws they represent (should be easy, they’re usually their own personal character flaws). Maybe also give my assessment to what I think their chances of living to the end of the series are while I’m at it, since representing serious flaws in the old guard can be hazardous to your health if treated poorly.

Endeavor

A man who needs no introduction if you’re any kind of HeroAca fan. love or hate him, everyone knows the new no.1.

Funnily enough, he’s actually the main exception to the rule we mentioned before about a pros’ character flaw being the flaw they thematically represent. See, his character flaw is that he focus so much on heroics, his career in heroics, or just his own general needs over his family; to the point that he only had a family to have children he could live vicariously though, and felt no obligation to love the ones he couldn’t live through. What he represents, is actually two-fold: 1) the toxicity of the ranking system which makes heroics so competitive and encourage heroes focus on some arbitrary number, and 2) the power heroes have that let them do horrible things and get away with it. They’re connected concepts, for sure, but not exactly synonymous.

And with that said, what are his chances of survival? Well, the ranking toxicity is out of his hands, but besides that...it can be hard to tell. He has, under semi-aggressive guidance of his family, publicly taken responsibility for the things he’s done and vowed to make up for it; which helps his chances considerably. But in that same scene he also said that the only way he can atone is to keep doing what he’s always done; beat up villains and at least 1 family member. It sends a mixed message. But in general; I want to say that he’s gotten enough development that he doesn’t feel set to fail his arc now. I’d be tempted to say his chances look pretty good...were it not for all the separate reasons I think he’s likely to die anyway. Oh well, no one’s situation can be perfect.

Hawks

The controversial hero; Hawks!

I’ve summarized Hawks’ main flaw before as ‘hubris’, partially because he’s an Icarus figure so generalizing it like that feels clever, but it’s a bit more complex than that. Hawks main flaw isn’t so much pride as it is self-righteousness. Hawks represents the belief that everything is just right as it is, and the status quo must therefore be protected at all costs. A denial that the heroes he believes in have done anything wrong even after staring their mistakes in the face and spending months talking with those the heroes failed. In fact to contrast Endeavor’s line to the press; Hawks tried to excuse what he did as though it had to be done. That’s the opposite of promising.

With that said, what are his chances of survival? Well, I’d actually put him at 50/50 odds; since I see 2 endings for him, and it’s too early to tell which is more likely. See, while we’ve only got two instances of a “pattern,” Hawks seems like a guy who falls to the ground, recovers and gets back up, only to fall even further down because he never learns. So his two futures are either: A) To actually learn. Take a fall so hard that in the aftermath, he can’t convince himself he was right all along. Maybe he gets Endeavor killed, or does something to sever their relationship. Something that’d force him to self-reflect. B) To take a fall so hard it proves fatal; his mistakes catching up to him in a way that doesn’t give him a chance to self-reflect.

Best Jeanist

Sir Long Neck McImagine Obsession himself.

Best Jeanist represents the self-interest in hero society can have over justice itself. Already known for being focused on superficial image; he’s dramatic reappearance revealed just how deep that went. For when it’s revealed by a villain that a hero has committed great crimes that ended up motivating that villain’s actions; Jeanist’s immediate concern was the damage this would do to the reputation of heroes. More than what kind of person he’s been working alongside, and even more than saving lives, Jeanist’s first thought went the wellbeing of the industry he works in and how bad they would collectively look to the public; that’s what he’s most angry at Dabi for.

Chances of survival are...maybe 40-50%? There’s no real leaning one way or another frankly, so that kind of feels like it’d put him at even odds for the exact opposite reason as Hawks. Will he live? Will he die? Who can say? Leaning just a bit towards death though, because again, representing flaws in the old guard can be hazardous to your health.

Mirko

And here we have the violent one.

While I’m tempted to lump this one with Hawks, I actually think Ms.Mirko represents the heroes use of incredible violence best. See, Mirko is someone who really likes to beat people up, even once in a spin-off said Bakugou’s drive to murder was a good thing in a hero. And while she won’t even feel the need to kill like Hawks apparently did, her response to fighting the High End Nomu was something like “finally, some villains I get to just kill with no ethical issues, that makes things easy”. (Which, considering the High Ends are sentient is, um, hmm). Her love of violence borders on villainous, and she freely admits it is simple obligation that prevents her from crossing that boundary. It’s reminiscent of when Shigaraki pondered what the difference really was between heroes’ & villains’ violence. And, well, if it closes the gap in morality between heroes and villains, it’s going on this list.

Regarding her chances of survival, like Jeanist she’s not exactly defined enough to really say anything for sure or end up on any extreme end; I’ve no real reason to think she’s very likely live or die. That said; on the one hand she seems a bit more eagerly reveling in the flaw she represents, plus a blood knight getting back into the fight after sustaining heavy injuries is never a good sign. On the other hand, Horikoshi clearly likes her for reasons we won’t address here. I think I’m gonna average it out to 50%. Maybe even 60%.

Kamui Woods & Mt. Lady

You wouldn’t think some of the most plain as bread heroes would be joining the ranks of the problematic, and in fairness that’s because they mostly aren’t, but they are the ones who best represent a serious issues with heroes. They represent the way heroes will focus on flashiness & the problems they cause/exasperate in the process. Misconduct performed in the quest for fame; in so many words. Kamui showed this in chapter 1; calling a giant purse snatcher “evil incarnate” because that villain was attention grabbing and disturbing the peace. This is especially noticeable in hindsight, after we’ve see some real problems heroes could be dealing with but aren’t; like lost children on their way to becoming villains. And Mt. Lady represent it by how she operates in a big city despite her powers really working better for more rural or neighborly environments; because city work makes her more popular and rakes in the cash (that she loses paying for repairs).

That said, even if those are flaws I feel are highly associated with them, none of that is stuff they’re actively involved in; they’re naïve at best, and have already improved considerably (for minor characters at least) into better heroes. Frankly speaking, their changes of survival are probably averaging at 85% (80% for Kamui, 90% for Mt.). Like, they’re not gag characters per se; but they’re not super serious characters, they’re not connected to the MCs in any real way, and they don’t knowingly contribute to any of society’s corruptions. Really, so long as big H doesn’t really want to off someone we know for a shock, they’re probably fine.

Gran Torino

And lastly, the only non-big shot on the list, the unpleasant old geezer himself; Gran Torino!

What GT represents better than any other, I think, is the idea of passing any blame a hero may have for the actions/very existence of a villain on to the villain in question, thus allowing the heroes to better absolve themselves. You know like how with Shigaraki, he ignores any fault he has with that guys’ existence and simplifies him down to a criminals they can only beat down; and how dare he exist and thereby hurt Toshinori’s feelings. On that note, I’d say he also represents the idea that the villains are what they are, they’re too far gone, and there’s nothing the heroes can do about it. The most convenient excuse to not ever have to try to make up for what they did wrong, which you can’t even blame them too much for because they “tried their best” (even if they really didn’t).

So, what are his odds? Well frankly I wanna put him at 0% just cause he’s so old that if a villain doesn’t get him, time will. But that’s cheating. In actuality, it’s hard to say; dude’s a stubborn old man, and it really feels like it will depend on his ability to admit how wrong he handled things regarding Tomura. Now admittedly, he did admit to making the wrong choice in handling Kotaro, but he’s said nothing of Tomura so far. For now I’ll put him at 30%, but we’ll have to see if he sticks to his guns regarding current events next time he talks with All Might or whoever to really get a gasp on his chances.

And that’s about all the big ones so we’ll wrap it up. Anyway the point is it feels like a lot of heroes are gonna need to get their acts together lest they risk coming down with Not Alive Syndrome sometime in the future.

#bnha #hero society #anti endeavor #anti hawks #anti best jeanist #anti mirko #anti gran torino #kamui woods #mt. lady #(I do talk about those two but they're fine)

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human-hetalia-imagines · 4 years

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☆ Rules & Information ☆

This is a blog dedicated to doing imagines surrounding my original human au. Here’s a description for each character's place in the au and rules for requests — I’ll be adding more characters as I get more comfortable writing for them.

*I did change the names of some characters so that they would reflect the countries they come from

*Also: this shit long, so strap in and get ready

☆Rules for Imagines☆

I’ll do imagines, or a bullet point list of up to 6 characters at one time, or a written scenario for up to 3 characters

I’ll also do nyos and genderbends of each character (ngl, I simp after nyo!America), their placement in the au won't change.

I include South Italy and Prussia in the axis, and Canada in the Allies

I’ll write fluff, smut, angst, and everything in between

I absolutely won’t write: incest, explicit sexual assault or excessive gore

The only time I will do romantic/sexual imagines for the characters who canonically have the physical appearance of people under 18 is if you explicitly state that you want them aged up, or if the reader is also underage. If you request adult x minor, I will discard your ask & invert your rib cage.

☆Rules for Matchups☆

Before submitting, check if they’re open or not, they won’t always be due to not wanting my page cluttered with them

When requesting, include personality, interests, dislikes, any pets you have, fun facts about yourself, and possibly clothing style

Don’t bother to include physical features as those will not be taken into account when pairing you up with someone

Include whether you want the matchup to be romantic, platonic, or one of each

☆Character Au Placements☆

North America

America | Alfred Jones, age 19

A young man that's cheerful and strong, with a strong sense of justice. He often can't read situations and has a habit of ruining the mood, whatever mood that may be. While he’s usually labeled as “incompetent”, he’s attending college (or university, depending where you’re from) to obtain a bachelor's degree in aerospace engineering. He plays as the pitcher on his college’s baseball team, able to throw a devastating fastball. He lives in a two bedroom apartment with his twin brother, Matthew. He had a crush on Amelia Earhart when he was younger, and it’s something that Matthew teases him about on a weekly basis.

Canada | Matthew Williams, age 19

On the surface, he's an easygoing, softhearted and gentle young man, around his twin brother and close friends, however, he can be quite sassy, nearly bordering on rude on occasion. He's in his first year of college for a degree in statistics. For the college, he plays as the Center on the hockey team, where he lets out steam on his opponents. He has a pure white rag-doll cat named Kumajirou that follows him around his and Alfred's apartment. He curses regularly in french.

United Kingdom

England | Arthur Kirkland, age 23

He's either a quick-witted, sarcastic and stubborn man, or the paragon of a perfect gentleman. He enjoys reading, writing (although he doesn’t show anyone his stories), and embroidering. He’s gotten so skillful at it, that he has a well-traversed Etsy shop. He’s currently in his last year of getting his Postsecondary Education degree and a minor in linguistics. When he was a teenager, he was a delinquent, going to loud concerts, fighting, dyeing his hair wild colors, and smoking. While he says he’s over it, he still keeps various CDs of OK Go and The Rolling Stones, as well as band t-shirts. It’s something that his 3 older brothers refuse to let go of.

Baltic

Estonia | Eduard von Bock, Age 19

He's a graduated honors student who has avoided many problems with wit. Usually in front of people he acts calm, logical, and businessman-like, but in private he’s actually pretty chill, albeit a bit quiet. He’s awesome with technology, and works part-time at his college as an IT advisor while he studies to get his Quality Control & Safety Technologies degree.

Latvia | Raivis Galante, age 15

He’s a boy who has been through quite a bit, making him an introvert, easily intimidated, and kind of a crybaby. He’s in his first year of high school, but due to him having an anxiety disorder, he does it digitally. The only problem is that he strives to have friends who are close to him and care for him unconditionally. He secretly likes to read cutesy romance novels from the young adult section.

Lithuania | Toris Laurinaitis, age 19

He's a patient, shy, and gentle person who has the ability to become pretty serious when he needs to be. He works as a librarian assistant while he decides between a degree in social work or education. He, unfortunately, usually over-thinks his decisions too much, causing him to have anxiety attacks. When he’s not working, he’s typically just dragged around by his close friend, Feliks, but he has a good time nonetheless.

Nordic

Denmark | Mathias Køhler, age, 19

He’s a genuine sweetheart who often accidentally always yells. While he is kind, he’s also a bit thick-headed, although he always has the best of intentions. He considers himself to be very close to his friends, especially to Lukas, although the other man’s opinion on the matter is about the opposite. He attends college for a master’s degree in, surprisingly enough, Business Administration. When he isn’t studying, he enjoys clinging to his friends and drinking. He has the habit of playing online video games with Alfred and Gilbert for way too long at a given time. He also gets oddly competitive over his degree with Tino.

Finland | Tino Väinämöinen, Aged 20

He's a gentle, cheery young man with a tendency to like the more simplistic things in life. He seems very mature, yet can be childlike. He loves relaxing in saunas, especially with his close friends. He has a small Maltese pup named Hanatamago who attends dog shows. When he’s not attending dog shows, he does online college for a masters in Medical Assisting.

Iceland | Emil Steilsson, age 17

He’s a mysterious boy with a cool exterior and a hot interior, being a bit easy to provoke with teasing. His older half-brother often insists that he was ‘born in his emo phase’. He taught his pet puffin (geniously named Mr. Puffin) a lot of profanity in Icelandic, Norwegian, and English. He attends high school, which he is absolutely over. On a side note, even though Lukas is his half-brother, he often refuses to have any connection to him whatsoever in public.

Norway | Lukas Bondevik , age 18

He is, like his half-brother, very introverted. However, he is considerably more cold to strangers, but to his close friends, he can (sometimes) be very sweet. He just recently finished highschool, but intends on going straight into college for an Applied Data Science degree. He practices Modern Paganism, or Wicca, as his religion.

Sweden | Berwald Oxenstierna, Aged 21

He’s a guy with an intimidating air who doesn’t talk much. On the inside he’s playful, but it doesn’t show at all and he just seems intimidating. He works as a carpenter after he went to a trade high school, a job that he greatly enjoys. Other than that, he likes decorative arts and being a part of debates on his free time. While he can create furniture out of wood scraps without any blueprints, he can’t put together IKEA furniture to save his life.

Eastern Europe

Belarus | Natalia Arlovskaya, age 19

While she can be extremely possessive over her older brother and sister, she means well. She openly looks up to both of them, as they are the only two people in her life that have remained constants. She lives with both of them in a house and works part-time at her sister’s flower shop. She’s also a part-time online student with a pursuit of a criminology degree.

Russia | Ivan Braginski, age 21

He has the simplicity of a country bumpkin, an easy-going personality, and the cruelty of a child, all mixed together. Coupled with his personality traits and the fact that he’s well over 6 feet tall, he constantly (and accidentally) gives off an intimidating air. He attends college for a Avionics Technology bachelor's degree. Deep down, he’s incredibly passionate about ballet, more specifically Russian ballet, his favorite being Don Quixote, with Sleeping Beauty as a close second.

Ukraine | Katyusha Braginskaya, age 24

Ivan and Natalia’s older sister who always recklessly gets dragged into their messes. She's an absolute sweetheart who strives to make the people around her happy, even at her own expense. She can be very emotional. She owns a flower shop where she let’s her younger siblings work part-time while they go to school.

Central Europe

Germany | Ludwig Beilschmidt, age 20

He's a young man with an overly serious personality and a pessimistic nature. He's very by-the-book and has a pet peeve for a lack of cleanliness. He attends college for mechanical engineering and dorms with Feliciano and Kiku. His older brother, Gilbert, regularly breaks in and hangs out with them. His hobbies are reading, making sweets and taking walks with his dogs (that live with Gilbert). He’s in a garage band with the three aforementioned guys. He does, however, want to be a soldier like the other members in his family. Unfortunately, due to an injury to his leg that he sustained as a kid, he can’t.

Hungary | Elizabeta Héderváry, age 26

She’s a sweet, reliable woman with a bit of a boyish streak. For a career, she works doing maintenance on a farm that belongs to a close friend, Basch (Switzerland). In her free time, she likes riding horses, going hiking and practicing instruments, one of which is the tekerőlant. She has a young child, Julian (Kugelmugel), from a previous relationship with her ex fiance, Roderich (Austria). Thankfully, things are civil between the two.

Liechtenstein | Lili Zwingli, age 15

She’s the darling, adoptive younger sister of Basch (Switzerland). She has a big heart and helps out on her brother’s farm wherever she can, and because she spends so much time on the farm, she’s gotten decently close to Elizabeta. She enjoys feeding, brushing, and cuddling her two angora rabbits on her free time, as well as knitting. Sometimes she’ll submit her bunnies to be participants in rabbit shows (Cocoa has 1 and Cinna-bun has 3).

Poland | Feliks Łukasiewicz, age 19

He has a fierce anxiety towards strangers, and upon a first meeting, he'll act very shy. Once he gets used to someone, he'll act goofy and a bit childish, clinging onto his closest friends. He attends college for a degree in fashion design and marketing. He is also very opinionated. He often drags his friends to Francis’ patisserie for cute aesthetic pictures.

Prussia | Gilbert Beilschmidt, age 24

He comes off as rude, loud and self-centered, but he’s actually incredibly sweet and loyal almost to a fault. He’s catholic and takes his religion seriously to the point of keeping a cross necklace with him nearly all the time. While he wanted to join the army like the rest of his family, his albinism keeps him from being able to. Because of this, many members of the family see him as the Family Disappointment™, causing a strain between him and them. Unrelated, but when Ludwig lived with him, he caught Gilbert trying to play all three parts of Suite en trio, Op. 59: I. Serenade by himself with all three instruments at 2 in the morning.

Switzerland | Basch Zwingli, age 25

He’s an intimidating man with a soft heart. He owns a farm that has been in his family for generations, and it’s a job that he’s greatly proud of and fiercely protective over. He has technically adopted Lili as a daughter, but they both view each other as siblings. Regardless, Francis has still referred to him as a DILF before. He doesn’t understand what it means, and Elizabeta has assured him that he doesn't want to. On a more pure note, he enjoys attending rabbit shows whenever there’s any in the area, and has encouraged Lili to participate in them with hers.

Africa

Seychelles | Veronique Bonnefoy, age 17

She’s a southern country girl with a big heart. She's a bit sloppy and has the tendency to laze around when the weather gets warmer. She often laments over her being lonely to her friends, especially to Alfred and Matthew. She enjoys cooking, singing, and dancing. She takes after her brother figure (technically adoptive father), Francis, being a bit of a romantic herself. She’s in her senior year of high school, and is excited to be done with it. Once she ate pizza rolls in front of Francis and he almost cried.

Asia

China | Yao Wang, age 19

He’s a (mostly) easy-going person, if not a bit of a hermit. He works as a waiter currently, but attends several courses in hopes of getting his food-handlers permit to, one day, open his own authentic Chinese food restaurant. He lives with his 5 other siblings, all of which jokingly refer to him as “grandpa” due to how often he complains about back pain and makes acupuncture appointments every 2 weeks. When his 6th sibling, Kiku, moved out for college, he was pretty salty. In his free time, he mostly plays Mahjong the practices the Érhù. He’s unabashedly likes and collects cute things such as small charms and plushies.

Japan | Kiku Honda, age 19

While, at first glance, he seems quiet and serious, he can actually be quite goofy and irresponsible with his money, buying anime memorabilia and American comic books. It’s something that one of his roommates, Ludwig, lectures him about quite a bit. His other roommate, Feliciano, sees nothing wrong with it. He attends college for a degree in animation. He enjoys messing with machines and drawing.

South Korea | Im Yong Soo, age 16

He’s a hyperactive young man with strong aspirations when it comes to schooling. He shows the upmost respect to strangers and his elders alike, but when he’s around friends and immediate family he tends to be more loud and silly. He’s currently knee deep in the K-pop wave sweeping the world and practices idol dances on tiktok.

Taiwan | Mei Xiao, age 18

She is a strong-willed, fashionable young woman, but she's also said to have become more of a nervous type in recent times, unable to stop worrying. She has the tendency to be a bit smart-mouthed with a somewhat quick temper. Other than that, she has a sweet and cheerful disposition. She lives with all of her siblings (China, Japan, Vietnam, Hong Kong, Korea, and Thailand) and works as a hostess as a restaurant while she takes a break from schooling.

Mediterranean

France | Francis Bonnefoy, age 24

He's someone who does things at his own pace and has an abundance of affectionate expressions for friends, family, and strangers alike. He owns his own patisserie which has become increasingly popular as a spot for dates and hipsters to eat cute, artfully made sweets and drink aesthetically pleasing coffees and teas. He loves culture and the arts, as well as paintings and clothing.

North Italy | Feliciano Vargas, age 20

He's a cheerful guy who can be a little bit of a crybaby. While he relies on his friends a lot, he deeply cares for them. He's attending college for a fine arts degree where he shares a dorm room with Ludwig and Kiku. He enjoys painting, singing and designing clothes. Also, while only a few people know this, he can play both acoustic and electric guitar. He’s in a garage band with Ludwig, Kiku, and Gilbert

South Italy | Lovino Vargas, age 22

He constantly starts arguments and fights, however he’s also a bit of a coward. He has the ability to be hardworking, but often doesn’t out of laziness. While he’ll never admit it, he’s quite the hopeless romantic, striving to find someone who will love him despite his flaws. He’s in college to obtain a bachelor's in agricultural studies with a minor in history, but absolutely refused to share a dorm with his younger brother, who he often teases about choosing to get a ‘useless art degree.’ He enjoys gardening, dancing, and playing the acoustic guitar in his free time. He also likes sketching, but due to feeling insecure, he never shows people his work, or even tells them that he does it.

Spain | Antonio Fernandez Carriedo, age 24

While he can be oblivious and even insensitive, he’s a generally friendly person with a cheerful deposition. He works as a bartender in a decently popular bar in the downtown of his city that’s within walking distance of his house. When he’s not working, he enjoys playing the flamenco guitar and practicing dancing. Since he’s very sociable, before work, he typically stops by Francis’ pastry shop to talk to him as he closes up.

Also, did you know that, in canon, Feliciano can play electric guitar and Ludwig can play the drums?? What I’m saying is: punk garage band w/ Kiku on vocals. Thank you for coming to my TEDtalk.

#hetalia imagines #aph imagines #aph america #aph canada #aph china #aph england #aph france #aph russia #aph germany #aph japan #aph italy #aph romano #aph nordics #aph baltics #aph taiwan #human au #rules

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tetsuroyaoyaoya · 4 years

Text

A Crow Without Wings

tsukishima kei x reader - part six

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Stepping off the bus, you stretched your limbs out as much as you could, trying to rid yourself of the aching stiffness that came with sitting in the same place for who knows how many hours. You had spent every single one of those hours asleep, of course, but that didn’t take away the grogginess or the pins and needs you were currently experiencing.

“Rei-chan!” It had barely been an entire minute since you had set foot off of the vehicle, and you were already being lifted up in someone’s arms. This wasn’t exactly how you had imagined your day starting, to be honest.

“Bokuto-san, please put her down.” Along with the owl-haired ace, always came his setter. And it was a good thing he did, or you don’t think your feet would ever be on the ground with Bokuto around. He reluctantly set you down with a pout and you smiled gratefully at Akaashi.

“You better be careful, Kageyama,” A new voice appeared behind you, and you turned to find that it, of course, belonged to Tsukishima, who was sporting that usual stupid smirk on his face.

“Your boyfriend is just over there. You wouldn’t want to make him jealous now, would you?” Following his eyes over to where the Nekoma team were greeting the third years, you let out a scoff as you realised that he was referring to Kuroo.

“Suck it, Tsukki.” His smirk somehow grew wider and you rolled your eyes as he began to walk past you. He stopped right next to you and bent down, so that his mouth was directly by your ear, his lips almost grazing the skin of your neck. Attempting to supress a shudder, you tried not to show how tense you had been around him lately, especially with him so close to you.

“I think that’s your job, princess.” With that, he was gone, and you were absolutely bewildered. So now you had two different boys calling you pet names? Was there any chance you were still dreaming? Because it felt like it.

“Boyfriend?” You shook your head at Bokuto and Akaashi sent you a sympathetic look. There was definitely no doubt that this was going to be along week.

The coaches were quick to get into matches, and to be honest, so were you. It took your mind off of whatever was going on with that encounter this morning and gave you something to focus on instead of that. At least this training camp was already going better than the last one, with all of the team here at the same time and ready to get started.

The first match of the day happened to be against Fukurodani, and you were already beginning to feel an oncoming headache. It should be illegal for one single human to be that loud, and yet you were friends with him. At this point, you wouldn’t be surprised if Akaashi’s hearing was severely impaired.

In reality, you really didn’t mind it. The buzz of the teams getting ready to play made it feel like an actual tournament, and that was definitely something you had missed dearly.

However, you were still worried about how well the team was going to be able to play. Having still not made up with your brother since the fight, you had no idea what he had been working on or how he was doing aside from the small details Kiyoko had been trying to slip into your conversations with her. But what you were really concerned about was whatever was going on between him and Hinata. As far as you were aware, they hadn’t spoken a word to each other outside of practice in the past two weeks, and even then they kept contact to a minimum. It meant that you had no idea how this game was about to go, or how the team was going to pull off the new attacks.

Either way, the game was about to start, and you took your seat of the side of the court to keep watch.

Fukurodani started off with a solid serve, which was neatly received by Nishinoya, who sent it over to your brother. You watched as he tensed, clearly realising that it was the perfect opportunity to try and execute a quick attack. Hinata must have realised this as well, as he shot forward, running for the ball.

Hinata drew his arm back to spike and… nothing.

The ball was too short.

The toss itself was completely different to what you remembered. Tobio’s usual toss never missed the spiker’s hand. It was only been two weeks since you had seen him play properly. Had you really missed that much?

You jumped when the whistle blew, and the coach looked at you strangely.

Maybe he had finally gotten that stick out of his ass like you had told him to do. Rolling your eyes at your own thoughts, you focused back on the match. That missed toss meant that Fukurodani was already in the lead and the game hadn’t even properly begun yet.

The same set up happened once again; serve, receive, toss.

And miss.

This time it was too long.

Suddenly, Hinata’s left hand shot out to save the ball, bouncing it off of his wrist in an attempt to save it. The ball went up, caught the top of the net, and barely just landed within the bounds of the opposite side of the court. You let out a breath of relief, shock etched onto your face. Since Hinata had been practicing with Ukai’s grandfather, you hadn’t seen much of his progress, but it seemed as though he had changed a lot more than you thought as well. It was like you didn’t even know the duo anymore.

The game continued at a relatively quick pace, and you finally got a glance at Asahi’s improved serve in an actual match environment. You and Noya had been helping him practice, and he had made big progress in terms of power, but the actual success rate of the spike was still low.

The whistle blew and the ball was in the air. The ace spiked it with as much power as he could muster, and you crossed your fingers behind your back.

“Out, out!” The other libero stepped to the side and the ball did indeed land just outside on the very back line of the court border. You watched as Asahi clicked his tongue in frustration.

“Almost there Asahi! One more!” You cheered in encouragement and he smiled at you gratefully from his position on the court.

Next to be tested was the synchronised attack, which to be perfectly honest, you didn’t have much hope for just yet. Sugawara set the ball and all four spikers ran towards the net at varying speeds, all jumping to throw off the blockers. However, the ball missed its intended target and dropped to the floor.

Sighing, you rested you head in your hands and thought about what to do to help them correct their mistakes. The preliminaries for nationals were next month. Would it be possible to get all of these new skills up to par in time to have a fighting chance?

“Sorry! Cover!”

“I got it!” Noya sprinted forward, jumping right before he crossed the back line and rotated his body to get ready for a toss. Although, he had jumped too far and missed the ball completely.

“It’s fine, Noya! Get the next one!” He sent you a thumbs up, but he was clearly getting a bit frustrated. You really couldn’t blame him. Everyone was.

All of a sudden, it was match point for Fukurodani, and it was Bokuto’s turn to spike. But Tsukishima’s block was too weak, meaning he easily hit right through it, winning the set. You rested your knees on your elbows and tilted your head down to massage your temples. That block could be so much better, especially with the advantage of Tsukishima’s height, but he just refused to get any better.

One thing that you definitely didn’t miss from playing volleyball was the penalties, not that Shiratorizawa lost very often. This camp’s punishment for losing was a dash up the steep grass hill just outside of the gym doors.

You had a feeling that there was going to be a lot of running up that hill this week.

As you expected, Karasuno lost every single one of the games that they played on that first day. It was sad to say that you could genuinely count all of the games you had watched them win on only one hand. Of course you wanted them to win, they had all been working unbelievably hard for it, but it felt as though there was something missing from the team and you just couldn’t put your finger on what it was.

~~~

“What’s up, peaches? You’re all pouty.” You tugged the lollypop from your mouth with a ‘pop’ and pointed it at him accusingly.

“Kuroo, I’m literally allergic to peaches.” Bokuto burst out laughing, clutching the ball he was holding to his stomach.

“Seriously? Show me.” Was this boy completely brainless?

“No, Kuroo. I could die.” Bokuto was practically on the floor at this point and you even saw Akaashi snickering behind him as well. You shook your head in amusement and cracked a smile, putting the lollypop back in your mouth.

“Hey, isn’t he from Karasuno, Rei?” Standing up, you jogged over to the door and peeked you head around the frame, your eyes immediately spotting Tsukishima approaching the gym. An idea popped into your head and you quickly hid out of his sight.

“Look, do me a favour and invite him to play with you? Please?” They looked extremely confused at your sudden request and you panicked, as he was about to walk by the door.

“Just make him block for you? I’ll owe you.” Kuroo and Bokuto shared a smirk and you grinned up at them.

“Sure thing, cupcake.” Since he was doing you a favour, you allowed the nickname just this once and made you way to go and sit back on the bench. Lev was still sprawled out on the floor where Kuroo had left him and you poked him with your foot, receiving no response in return. Had the captain really made him practice that much? Or was he dead?

“Oh, hey, you? Karasuno! You with the glasses!” Bokuto was already stretching in preparation and you admired how serious they were being. At least they were getting some extra practice out of the situation.

“Could you jump some blocks for us?” There was a pause, and you straightened your back in anticipation.

“Actually, I’m done for the night. Excuse me.” Was he seriously rejecting the offer to train with the two strongest teams in Tokyo? Oh, you were going to strangle that boy.

“It’s meaningless to spike without blockers. I beg you!” Sighing, you turned yourself to the side and laid down on the bench. Had it really been the best idea to ask those two to get him to practice?

“Besides, if you’re a middle blocker, shouldn’t you practice blocking a bit more?”

Kuroo Tetsurou, huh?

Big shot powerhouse captain?

Whatever.

Maybe Tsukishima could know him down a peg, the cocky bastard. What was so great about him anyway? He didn’t look special.

You sat up just as the blonde walked into the gym, his eyes meeting yours instantly. He scoffed with a roll of his eyes.

Of course, you were here, with Kuroo. Why would you be anywhere else?

At his poor attitude, you pulled the lollypop out of your mouth again and blew him a raspberry, showing him the stripe of colour staining your tongue.

“That’s disgusting.” You scowled at him.

“Blue tongues are cute.” So what if they were? But if he thought that, then he’d have to admit that the way the sleeves of your hoodie almost completely covered your hands was cute too, and it definitely wasn’t.

He shook his head and readied himself to block, missing the thumbs up you had sent the two captains, but he may have caught the subtle wink Kuroo had sent you in return. With a huff, he began cracking his knuckles and circling his wrists, having already seen first-hand how powerful the ace’s spikes were.

You watched carefully as they played, and it was exactly as you thought. Tsukishima’s mind was utterly amazing. He was impressively observant, and payed close attention to all of Bokuto’s movements. After only a few spikes, he was managing to more or less predict Bokuto’s decisions, which would have been great… if he could actually stop any spikes.

It was obvious that Bokuto was going easy on him. Tsukishima’s blocks were some of the weakest you had ever seen. It was slightly annoying. He was that condescending and yet even you could block better.

Kuroo soon ended up joining the blocker, who didn’t look very happy about it, and together they were actually able to stop a spike. It really wasn’t surprising though, since Kuroo was one of the best blockers in Tokyo.

“Specs,” Oh, you were definitely using that one.

“You have a good read on things, but you know, your blocks are pretty weak. I get worried that I might break your arm in two or something.” You could almost physically see the nerve that Bokuto hit with that remark. You bit your lip to stop yourself from laughing.

“I’m still a growing boy! I have a ways to go in both muscular strength and height,” That was it. You burst out laughing, throwing your head back so far you almost fell off of the bench. That was the most ridiculous thing you had ever heard him say.

“If you take things too easy, shorty will take all the glory from you.” Suddenly, you weren’t laughing anymore. You knew Kuroo had horrendous timing, but you had barely just managed to get Tsukishima to practice for once.

“You guys play the same position, right?” You frantically gestured for Kuroo to shut up, but he clearly wasn’t getting the message.

“I don’t think I can do anything about that. There is an obvious difference in potential between Hinata and me.” Your hands fell into your lap as you stared at the boy with furrowed eyebrows. After everything you had told him and tried to encourage him with, he still felt like that? Were you even helping at all?

As if it couldn’t get any worse, the other members of Nekoma’s team began to shuffle into the gym one by one, interrupting the mini practice.

“Well, it looks like I’ll be in the way. So, if you excuse me.” Dumbfounded, you merely gaped at the blond as he collected his things and walked out of the gym.

“Kuroo Tetsurou, I will physically shove an entire volleyball up your ass! Why would you say that?” You shot him a fiery glare before running after Tsukishima.

“Oi, Tsukki.” You caught up to him a fair distance from the gym. Although, you weren’t expecting him to practically growl at you as he turned around, a look of pure anger on his face.

“Tsukki?”

“Don’t call me that!” Stunned, you could only blink at him. You were at a loss of what to say. Anger was not an emotion you associated with Tsukishima, since he always remained so calm and collected. You didn’t like it.

“Why must you try so hard?” Déjà vu hit you like a brick, your breath hitching as you tensed at the words. Ushijima’s face flashed in your mind for a second and you broke eye contact with Tsukishima. Shaking it off, you turned back to him with a hard look on your face.

“I’ve told you. If you don’t get your shit together soon then the team is going to lose. Have you seriously not realised that the only thing Hinata has going for him right now is his speed and his jump? Even if they are so good, they’re no use if you can’t block anything. Whenever Hinata scores a point, they’ll just score one right back!” You were getting unbelievably irritated with him at this point.

“You are the only one on the team that isn’t doing anything to improve. If you carry on like this, they’ll take you off of the regular roster, and then what? You’ll get replaced, just like you seem to want.”

“Of course I don’t want that!”

“Then act like it, Tsukishima!” He knows that he was the one to ask you not to call him by that stupid nickname, but actually hearing anything other than that being spoken by you felt so wrong. How had you even gotten to this point? You were meant to tease each other, not actually argue.

“Go back to your boyfriend. I’m sure he’s jealous that you’re out here with-“ Before you knew what you were doing, you had slapped him. His head was forcibly turned to the side harshly, and your hand stung from the impact.

You had nothing left to say to him. He obviously wasn’t going to listen to you. With a shake of your head, you turned the opposite direction to him and walked off without another word.

Kuroo wasn’t your boyfriend.

So why did it hurt so much that Tsukishima thought that he was?

~~~

It seemed that Karasuno’s losing streak would continue into the next day. Even you were getting tired of all the penalties and you were only watching on from the side-lines.

The team had played three matches so far, and while their scores were generally pretty consistent, it didn’t really seem like they were making any improvements in their attacks. It was a shame, really, especially because you knew how hard they were working.

You and Kiyoko were currently handing out the boys’ water bottles and you paused as you reached Tsukishima. He looked like he was struggling, and you couldn’t help but feel sorry for him, even if you knew that his lack of stamina was most likely because he never seemed to do any extra practice.

When he noticed you stood in front of him, he looked up, slightly shocked. You held the bottle out to him, and he took it hesitantly, looking as though he had something to say to you. Without giving him the chance, you nodded briefly at him and moved on, not saying a word.

He frowned at your back as you walked away. You were completely right to be mad at him, but he couldn’t understand why he had gotten so irritated in the first place. Your life had nothing to do with him.

So why couldn’t he take his eyes off of you?

~~~

Finally, after a few more losses, it eventually came to the last match of the day, and Karasuno was against Ubugawa once again. They were quite a bit behind, and you could tell that everyone was getting more desperate now. With the new attacks barely improving, it was all they had or nothing at all.

You gasped as Daichi and Nishinoya crashed into each other quite roughly, and you gripped your notebook tighter, feeling the eyes of a few people immediately land on you. Despite the rising anxiety in your chest, you kept yourself rooted firmly to your seat and forced yourself to calm down. Tensions were high and you could feel the pressure tingling in the air around you.

“Everyone’s into it like never before. It’s almost scary” Kiyoko distracted you, bringing your attention away from the game for a few moments, and you could already feel your mind easing slightly. You nodded at her, agreeing. It was definitely scary, and you didn’t know how to handle it.

“It’s coming on the left!” Your eyes caught sight of the ball as your brother received it. With him now unable to set, Tanaka took his place, sending the ball over to the left side of the court.

“Asahi-san!” Your breath hitched as your eyes flit over to Hinata, watching him stare at the ball as if he were about to devour it.

But just as you were going to begin panicking again, he paused, and then backed up a step, making way for Asahi to spike the ball as he planned. The ball hit straight through the blockers and hit the gym floor with an overwhelming amount of force. Raising your eyebrow, your lips twitched up into a half-smile, the ace’s sheer determination shifting the entire atmosphere of the game.

“Hinata was so close to spiking that ball.” You chuckled, now completely calm and relaxed. Asahi clearly wasn’t letting Hinata overshadow him, and he was doing a good job of it.

You found yourself turning your gaze to look over at Tsukishima, studying him as he looked between the other two players. There was definitely something different about his expression. It was only slight, but it was there. You smirked as you watched him clench his hands into fists at his sides.

Finally.

~~~

Sighing, you shoved your hands deeper into the front pocket of your hoodie. The hope you had of Tsukishima actually wanting to improve was at its end. He was still refusing to take up any offers of extra practice, and you weren’t sure what more to do.

You had really gotten excited with the way he was beginning to look at the court, but it seemed that your expectations had been set too high. He had rejected Bokuto yesterday, and you were sure he would do the same today, so you had decided to stay away from the boys’ group practice for the night, since it was getting more and more difficult to hide your disappointment.

It really was a shame. He didn’t see just how much potential he had, and he was letting it all go to waste. You wanted to see him do better. If there was anyone that could manage to block against the great Ushijima Wakatoshi, it would be Tsukishima.

Despite the nice warm weather recently, there was a refreshing cool breeze at night, and the darkness of the school’s grounds made it much more relaxing to wander about during the late evenings. It allowed you to think – properly think – and figure out exactly what was going on inside your mind.

Rounding a corner, you spotted Yamaguchi seemingly arguing with Tsukishima. Quickly hiding yourself back behind the corner of the building, you peeked your head around slightly, listening in.

“On the off chance that we get to the national championships, what’s beyond that? There is always better, and even better. It’s endless.” For someone so unnecessarily tall, he really couldn’t see over things, could he? He was just so pessimistic.

“Even if you are able to show some results somewhere, you’re never going to be number one! You’re going to lose somewhere!” Your eyes widened as he shouted at his friend, your fingers clutching the cuffs of your sleeves.

“Everyone knows that! So, what is the driving force behind everyone?” His words brought you closer and closer to intervening, but something in you was telling you to leave it for Yamaguchi to handle. You had done enough, for now.

“What-“ Your breath caught in your throat as you watched the smaller boy lunge forward, catching the blocker by his shirt.

“-the hell else do you need outside of your own pride?” Oh, yeah. Yamaguchi could definitely handle this. You were mildly impressed, especially when you saw the look in Tsukishima’s eyes. Clearly, you weren’t the only one getting frustrated at the boy, and it was nice to see Yamaguchi so outwardly driven for someone else’s sake.

“To think…” Tsukishima’s voice was low, so you barely heard it from where you were stood, but Yamaguchi backed up as if his hands had caught fire, looking slightly intimidated.

“That a day like this would come.” Your lips parted and your jaw slackened slightly as the clouds parted, shrouding the two boys in moonlight. Tsukishima tilted his head up to look down at his friend with an actual smile on his face. You couldn’t help but gape at him. When he wasn’t glaring you down or spitting insults your way, he was actually… attractive.

He was what now?

Impossible.

The two of you hated each other’s guts, and yet now you were practically drooling over him because he smiled?

You took a step backwards, hiding completely behind the wall now, and let you back rest against it as you looked up at the stars. Your heart was racing and your palms were beginning to sweat.

There was no reason at all for you to panic. Even if you did find him attractive, it wasn’t a big deal. Other girls must think he’s good looking as well, right? You just couldn’t see it before because you didn’t like him.

That’s all.

“Ugh.” Tugging your hood over your head, you pulled on the strings and tightened it. Adjusting it, you made sure that you could see, and your face was still visible before popping your head back around the corner.

Only to see that Tsukishima was gone.

“Of course,” It was just your luck. You waited a moment for Yamaguchi to start walking back to the gym before heading towards the only place the taller boy could have possibly gone. After the smile you had just seen on his face, he must have finally caved in, meaning that the hope you had started to lose may just be about to build up again.

Avoiding sprinting across the grounds like you desperately wanted to, you walked as fast as you could manage towards where you usually met Bokuto, Kuroo, and Akaashi when you helped them practice.

Luckily, you caught sight of the blond just as he stopped in front of the doors of the gym.

“Oya?”

“Oya Oya?”

“Oya Oya Oya?”

You kept yourself out of sight, rolling your eyes at the three boys inside.

“There’s something that I’d like to ask you. May I?” You couldn’t decide what shocked you more; the fact that Tsukishima was actually going to other people to ask a question, or that he was being so polite about it.

“Both of your schools are sometimes considered powerhouses, right?” Snickering, you covered your mouth to stop yourself from laughing. That had to hurt their poor egos.

“Well, yeah!” You could already imagine the grumpy frown probably sitting on Kuroo’s face and you bit your lip. They both must have looked so hilarious.

“Even if you were able to make it nationals, actually winning there would be difficult, right?” You furrowed your eyebrows. Of course, it would be. It’s nationals. There are teams there from every other prefecture in the country.

“But not impossible!” You briefly heard Akaashi attempting to calm Bokuto down and you envied his patience.

“I am genuinely curious about this. Why do you all get so serious about this? Volleyball is just a club, and maybe you’ll get to write, ‘I worked really hard in my club in high school,’ on your resume, right?”

“Just a club?” There was an undertone to Bokuto’s voice that you rarely heard, and you smirked to yourself, knowing Tsukishima was about to experience on of his rants.

“That almost sounds like someone’s name.”

“Oh, like Mary Club?”

“…”

You were friends with idiots.

They began to bicker, and you heard Bokuto whine at Kuroo.

“Say, four eyes,” While you were really enjoying these nicknames, how did he not know the poor boy’s name yet?

“It’s Tsukishima.”

“Say, Tsukishima. Is volleyball fun?” You scoffed, having already asked this and received no answer.

“No, not really.” Oh, you were so done with this boy.

“Maybe that’s because you suck at it?” You choked on your own saliva, laughing as quietly as you could manage so as to not attract any attention.

“I’m a third year, and I’ve gone to nationals. I’m better than you. Way better than you.” There really was no one who could inflate Bokuto’s ego like himself.

“You don’t have to tell me that.”

“But I only recently started thinking that volleyball is fun.” He lowered his voice and you couldn’t really make out what he said next, but you could tell that it was going to be oddly inspirational. After all, he had done the same thing for you last year.

“What happens next, whether you can win the next game… stuff like that doesn’t matter for now. Crushing the guy in front of you, and the exhilaration of using one hundred and twenty percent of your skills, is everything.” You knew that feeling all too well. You missed it so much. But you were working out your own way to feel that thrill again, and you just hoped that Tsukishima could do the same.

“But once that moment arrived for you, that’s the moment you’ll be hooked on volleyball.” There was silence for a moment, and you had hope that Tsukishima was about to change his perspective. You had experienced a speech like that from Bokuto first-hand, and it pretty much changed your life, and you knew the same thing was happening to the boy stood just a few metres from you.

It was so annoying.

“Are you being serious?” You stepped out from your hiding place and pointed at the owl-haired spiker.

“I’ve been trying to get that through to him for weeks now and he listens to you? You barely know his name!” Kuroo chuckled at you, or more so, your appearance. Realising that your hood was still tightened around your head, you cleared your throat, loosening the strings and pulling it down.

“Wow, don’t you look like you just-“

“Finish that sentence, Kuroo Tetsurou, and I will made damn well sure you can never finish another sentence ever again, you got me?” He nodded meekly, taking a step back as you began to fix your hair as best you could.

“So… now you’re both here, jump some blocks for us!”

~~~

“Kiyoko-senpai!” Skipping over to her, you garnered the attention of quite a few of the boys getting ready for their matches.

“Your ponytail looks really cute today!” You giggled at the blush it brought to her cheeks. It was a new day and you were finally beginning to get used to the early awakenings again. It had been a long time since you had felt this cheery in a morning,

“Rei-chan, that was adorable!” You smiled widely at the captain of Karasuno’s opposing team for this match as Fukurodani began warming up on the other side of the court.

“Thank you, Koutorou!” You made a heart with your forefinger and thumb and sent it his way before getting ready to begin your manager duties of the day. Kiyoko had already prepared the water bottles and the towels, meaning all you needed to do now was check in with the coach for him to give you a run-down of the game plan for today.

Having been their manager for almost two months now, you pretty much knew how each of the boys played and what methods they liked to use, so it was getting a lot easier to pinpoint exactly what they needed to work on. There was always something that you could help them, so your role was certainly never boring.

The match went on as many of the rest had in the past few days, with Karasuno lagging behind by a fair few points, which you knew was beginning to really frustrate them now. Takeda called for a time-out at Ukai’s request, and the team gathered round.

“Even if you’re not able to stop number four’s spikes, at least try to touch it.”

“He may not look it, but he’s very perceptive. He will find an open spot in your blocks and get through it. So, keep an eye on him, and keep your block formation tight.” Your eyes landed on Tsukishima as you spoke, more or less directing the words at him, and you noticed an unusually hard look in his eyes.

“We don’t have to stop it?” His eyes were trained on you, and you raised an eyebrow in response. Tsukishima never really talked during time outs, and it was clear that even the other boys were shocked by it.

“Well, if you can manage to shut out the ball completely then that’s perfect. Otherwise, no. Even just a fingertip can slow down the ball and give the others enough time to get it back into play.” It was subtle, but everyone could see that you were challenging him. You were nowhere near as good at provoking people as Kuroo seemed to be, but with the way he straightened his posture, his gaze never leaving yours, you were sure you’d managed to do at least something.

Fukurodani continued to score and keep the point gap fairly wide as they all carried on playing. Keeping watch on Tsukishima, you could tell something was definitely off with him, you just couldn’t tell whether it was a good thing or a bad thing yet.

The opposing libero received the ball nicely, sending it over to Akaashi as Bokuto called for a spike. Daichi and Tsukishima quickly moved in to block and you crossed your fingers behind your back. You really hoped that the tips your boys had given him last night had sunk in, and you guessed you were about to find out.

The blockers jumped and you watched in shock as Tsukishima towered over the net. His blocking form was so much better, and you could practically feel the waves of intimidation he was giving off from where you were stood at the side of the court. You gasped as Bokuto’s eyes widened, and in a split second switched his attack from a cross shot to a feint. It looked like it was the only thing that could make it over that block.

It was amazing.

Unfortunately, Noya couldn’t dive in time for the ball in order to dig it, and so the point went to Fukurodani.

“Wow, I definitely thought that he would come in with a hard hit right now! To think that it was actually a feint… Nothing less from a national-calibre ace!” You were still in awe. Tsukishima had made Bokuto switch attacks. To a feint no less!

“Bokuto never feints.” Ukai and Takeda looked at you curiously.

“He prides himself over his straight and his cross. It takes a lot to make him back down. And Tsukishima made him switch attacks mid-air.” Takeda seemed a lot more surprised now, and you couldn’t blame him.

You caught Tsukishima’s eyes as he walked away from the net and you gave him a sly smile. He was another puzzle piece clicking into its place and you couldn’t be happier.

He rolled his eyes at you and turned his head away to smile at himself where you couldn’t see. Although, Yamaguchi managed to catch him doing it and looked from him to you, who was now chatting happily with Kiyoko and the coach.

You looked back just as Tsukishima stopped near Hinata. It looked like he had finally stopped letting his fear of being overtaken by the little spiker scare him, and just like Asahi, he wasn’t going to be beaten.

All you needed now was Hinata and Tobio to make up, and the jigsaw would be complete.

~~~

The temperature of the camp was rising rapidly, both figuratively and literally. It was going to be a very hot summer and being at a training camp doing nothing but physical activity, was not helping. Along with that, the new attacks that the team had prepared still weren’t working, and it was beginning to take a toll on their motivation.

Despite practicing with each other every day, Hinata and your brother still hadn’t spoken a word to each other since their fight, and it was beginning to really worry you. If they didn’t get back to normal soon, you weren’t sure how well the team was going to cope.

However, you were even more concerned about the atmosphere in the gym right now. It was warm and everyone was beyond frustrated. Someone was bound to snap sometime soon, and it wasn’t going to be pretty.

Your breath hitched as Hinata and the tall first year from Nekoma both jumped up for the ball form opposite sides of the net and were caught in a joust. Unfortunately, Lev overpowered Hinata and the ball was sent back towards Karasuno’s side of the court, landing on the floor before Noya could dig it.

Focusing on Hinata, you noticed him looking extremely frustrated, even more so than usual. He bent over and rested his hands on his knees, breathing heavily. You had never seen him look so defeated, him usually bursting with limitless energy.

It was him.

He was going to snap.

And soon.

Karasuno were finally catching up in points, only three behind now. Hinata went in for a quick and you paused, slightly confused as you watch Tobio set the ball. Hinata barely managed to get his hand on the ball, only just getting it over Lev’s fingertips.

“Oh no,” Ukai glanced at you quickly, clearly concerned. So far, you had always been right when something was about to go terribly wrong, and he was beginning to trust your judgement. You knew Hinata had noticed it too, and you chewed on your lip in anticipation.

“Nice cover-“

“Hey!” The little spiker wasted no time, getting up, close, and personal with your brother, absolutely livid.

“You held back, didn’t you?” The team was clearly shocked, and you took a deep breath, trying to calm your rising anxiety.

“Held back? Me? With volleyball?” You blinked, confused. Had he not noticed it? But he’s the one that set it!

You stood up abruptly when Tobio clutched Hinata by the shirt, knowing full well what happened the last time they did that. You barely registered as Takeda called for a time out, only focusing on stopping the fight before it happened.

“Tobio, that was a different toss.” He slowly moved his eyes over to look at you, clearly irritated, but he looked surprised.

“That wasn’t the new toss. That was just a normal quick.” He let the shirt fall from his hand as he let the realisation sink in.

“It was?” You heard murmurs behind you, but you kept your focus on your brother. Walking over to the two, you placed a hand on his shoulder, pulling him away from the confrontation slightly.

“You just wanted him to hit it not matter what. It’s okay.” A million thoughts were going through his head right now, and for the first time since starting high school, he looked scared. Since he met Hinata, his confidence had been through the roof, but having failed so many spikes, Tobio just wanted him to spike one well, to cheer him up. But Hinata knew what he wanted, and he wanted to try the new toss until he could hit it. Tobio changing the toss, even subconsciously, might come across as a sign that he didn’t believe it would work, so of course the smaller boy was angry.

“Don’t stop trying, Kageyama!” He paused as you were leading him back to the bench, turning to look at his friend. His look hardened to one you were all too familiar with, and you broke out into a smile, letting you hand fall back down to your side. You carried on back to the bench without your brother, taking your place next to the coach.

“He’ll be fine.”

One more piece.

~~~

“Baka! Baka!” You stuck you tongue out at Tsukishima childishly through the net, and he scowled at you, but you could see he was fighting a smile by the way his lips twitched. He hadn’t said a word about the other night when you slapped him, and you hadn’t either, choosing to just enjoy the camp while it lasted. You could talk about things like that when you got back to Miyagi and things returned to normal.

For now, you were just happy that he had finally improved his blocks, and even caught Bokuto off guard. If he kept practicing, he could be a phenomenal blocker, maybe the best in the prefecture.

“Hey guys, did you bring a friend today?” You both looked over, spotting a certain fiery-haired spiker poking his head around the doorframe.

“What happened to your partner?”

“Kageyama is practicing by himself again.” Tsukishima glanced at you, but you shrugged at him. There wasn’t really a reason why he wouldn’t let Hinata practicing with him, but you could take a wild guess at what he was doing.

“So, can I practice with you?” You hadn’t played with Hinata since the mini practice match at the last training camp, and you began to get excited thinking about another one.

“Well since we have the right amount of people, let’s play a three-on-three.”

You don’t know how it happened, but you had been placed on a team with Kuroo and Tsukishima. It was obvious that there was a slight tension between the two of them, yet you couldn’t figure out why, unless you had missed something.

Rolling your eyes, you looked over at Akaashi through the net, only to see him with the same look on his face as you.

“Isn’t this a bit unbalanced?” While you were the shortest on your team, the owls had Hinata, who was the shortest out of all of you by almost half a foot. Even so, you could tell he was having the time of his life; playing with two powerhouse schools, three national-level players, and he was up against Tsukishima. It was more or less a dream come true.

And so, the game began. You had ended up as setter, and while you were slightly disappointed to not be spiking, you loved to set every now and then, and you hadn’t played in this position since you got the all-clear to practice from your doctor.

The ball was currently on the owl’s side of the court, and you watched carefully as your blockers ran int place, but Akaashi wasn’t that stupid. He set the ball to the other side of the court instead, Bokuto being the one to jump and spike it. The blockers tried to move but were just a second too late and you dove to save it. Although, Bokuto’s spiking speed was superhuman sometimes, and you couldn’t quite get to it in time.

“Make sure you jump straight up! Don’t jump sideways!” Tsukishima nodded at you wordlessly and got ready to block again. This time, the toss went to Hinata and the blocker grouped close together. Tsukishima took your advice and jumped straight upwards, completely blocking out the spike. You smiled at him as he looked back at you, and he avoided your eyes, a slight pink hue staining his cheeks.

“Bring it again!” You giggled at Hinata, stepping closer to the net to watch him get all fired up.

“Um…” All of your heads turned towards the doors to see two girls, who you came to recognise as Fukurodani’s managers.

“If you don’t wrap up soon, the cafeteria will close, and you won’t get any dinner.” You huffed at the interruption, but you knew you were hungry, and the boys clearly were as well, judging by their faces.

“Well, we can’t go into battle on an empty stomach.” Kuroo swung his arm around your neck and pulled you into what was more like a headlock than anything else, dragging you out of the gym.

“Kuroo! Let me go!” He chucked and loosened up, keeping an arm around your shoulders.

“Shorty! We’ll continue this tomorrow.” You could just hear Hinata’s squeal of excitement and it brought a small grin to your face. You tried to shrug the captain’s arm from around you, but he had a firm grip on you.

“Tetsu! You’re all sweaty!” He burst into his typical hyena cackle and you couldn’t help but laugh at how hilarious it was, his arm falling away from you. Eventually, Akaashi came and dragged him away from you and you managed to calm yourself down.

Looking back, you saw Tsukishima staring at you with a sour look on his face. He was fine just a moment ago, what could have possibly annoyed him already?

“What’s with that look? Are you coming?” He grumbled something as he caught up to you, the both of you walking side by side.

“You two seem close.” Realising he was talking about you and Kuroo, you huffed, glaring up at him.

“Why? Are you jealous?” Before he could respond, you took a step closer to him, grabbing his arm and pulling it around you, settling it around your neck. He tensed up and you leaned into him as you walked, your head almost resting on his shoulder.

With a splutter of words, he pulled himself away from you quickly, widening the gap between the two of you. The blush on his cheeks was visible to you now, bringing one onto your own face.

Maybe that had been a bit too forward.

Although, it was quite amusing to see Tsukishima so flustered, being so used to him being unbelievably standoffish.

Once again, you began to bicker, and you took that as a sign that the two of you were back to your usual selves. You still weren’t really sure what had even happened a few days ago anymore, but it was nice to have someone to take you mind off of all of the action every once in a while.

All that was left was for you to make up with your brother,

It couldn’t be that hard.

~~~

You strolled into the gym just as Tobio missed one of the bottles he was using as target practice.

Despite you having taught him how to set, yours and your brother’s method of playing were completely different. You had never found much use in an inanimate target, but then again, Tobio practically breathes accuracy, and that wasn’t your style.

Neither him nor the coach had noticed you enter, and you stuck around to watch a few of his tosses. He was so close to getting a grip on the new quick, and yet he was so far off at the same time. You sighed, pushing yourself off of the wall you were leaning on and walking over to pick up a ball form the basket.

“You can leave if you want, coach. I’ll take it from here.” Both boys were surprised, both at your sudden appearance as well as your offer to help your brother practice. Everyone had done a good job of keeping the two of you away from each other as possible since your argument, but now it was time to get over it and get serious.

“Are you sure?” You nodded, and he gave you a pat on the back, wishing you good luck. You patiently waited until he had collected his things and was out of the gym before turning towards your brother.

“You’re being stupid.”

“Huh?” The first thing you say to him after not speaking for three weeks was an insult? What sense did that make?

“There aren’t going to be a bunch of bottles lines up on the court, Tobio. So why are you still thinking of them as bottles?” He didn’t seem to catch your point, and you spun the ball around in your hands absentmindedly.

“The bottles aren’t going to be spiking your tosses; Hinata is. So, imagine the positions of the bottles, but with a spiker there instead.” His lips parted and his eyes widened slightly as he understood what you wanted him to try. He had never thought of it that way, and simply imagining a spiker there would be so much easier. He nodded at you and you smirked, knowing that he was finally in his element.

You took your place at the back of the court and tossed the ball you were holding over to him. It arched over his head and you watched as his eyes studied it, contemplating the best position to send it to. His fingers barely even touched the ball and it was flying over to the other end of the court, aiming for the fifth bottle in line.

The ball curved overhead and then slowly stopped in mid-air, before dropping straight down onto the bottle and toppling it over. You both stared at it for a moment, before realising that he had actually done it.

Without a second thought, you rushed over to him, pulling him into a congratulatory hug. He seemed stunned for a second, but as your arms settled around his neck, he moved to wrap his own around your torso, holding you gently.

When you pulled away, you reached a hand up to his hair to ruffle it, causing him you scowl at you.

“So, does this mean you’re good now?”

“Only if you throw me some more balls.” Oh, you’d throw him some balls alright. You took aim and threw the ball as hard as you could, making his face the intended target. However, he ducked just in time, smirking at you as he straightened back up.

What you weren’t expecting, was the ball rebounding off the net and flying straight back into the back of his head. You burst out laughing, falling to your knees as he rubbed his head where it hit him.

Yeah, he was good.

You both were.

~~~

It was finally the last day of the training camp. You couldn’t decide whether you were pleased about it or upset yet.

While you were definitely going to be happy about sleeping in your own bed for once and not being surrounded by a hoard of sweaty boys every day, you knew that you were going to miss your friends. Compared to people like Semi, it wasn’t like you could just pop over to their house every now and then to see them, with them living all the way over in Tokyo.

Being so lost in thought, you hadn’t realised that you were in someone’s way, causing you to bump into them.

“Ah! I’m so sorry-oh. Hey, Keiji.” He gave you a tired smile and bowed his head in greeting.

“We missed you at practice last night. Tsukishima asked about you.”

“Yeah, sorry. I was helping Tobio… wait. Tsukishima asked about me?” He nodded and you stood frozen in shock.

“He looked pretty disappointed that you weren’t there.” He what now? You could not believe your ears. You were sure he still hated you, at least a bit, and you were also pretty sure there was something really weird going on between the two of you right now. Although, you could never really tell what he was thinking, that stupid nonchalant expression he always had plastered on his face constantly throwing you off.

“Well, I’ll see you at the match later, okay?”

“Ah, yeah, okay.” You were so lost in your thoughts, you barely registered him walking away until he was gone, leaving you standing completely dumbfounded in the hallway.

~~~

Once again, Karasuno started off their day by losing against Ubugawa. Despite that, they were starting to finally catch up in points and could very well win a match by the end of the day. You hoped so, at least.

Tobio still hadn’t used the new quick with Hinata yet, which you were slightly disappointed at, but you knew that he was saving it for the perfect moment, so you kept quiet for now.

You watched on as the team did yet another dive lap around the court, noticing how much better some of them had gotten at it from losing so often. It might actually come to some use during games if they used it right. The other teams seemed to have noticed their improvement as well, both on the court and off of it.

Although, you were all just tired at this point. The endless losses really did take a toll on their motivation and it was heart-breaking to see. You had a good feeling about today though, and hopefully you were right about it.

Picking up the boys’ water bottles you turned to go over and hand them out, only to see them surprisingly refreshed and… dancing?

“Oh, meat, meat, meat, oh, meat, meat!” You gaped at them as they chanted, feeling the sudden urge to hide in embarrassment. What were they even doing?

“Hooray for meat! Energy times a hundred! Hallelujah! Hallelujah! Meat is god! Meat is god!” You couldn’t do anything except stare at them, not being able to comprehend what you were witnessing.

“Guess they found out about the barbecue.” Kiyoko came to stand next to you, picking up a few water bottles to join you in handing them out.

“Well, if it gets them riled up that much, we might actually see them win a match.” She chuckled along with you and you finally brought yourself to look away from the group of boys, convinced that they had just accidentally started a cult.

“Kageyama!” You reached the power duo a few moments later, just as Hinata called out to your brother. Pausing mid-way through handing them their water, you kept a close eye on them in case another fight managed to break out, but you doubted that would be happening anymore.

“I want to hurry up and hit that falling toss!” Oh, the boys were in for a treat. And they were playing against Fukurodani next as well. You grinned in excitement.

“Don’t rush.” Your grin immediately fell into a pout, already beginning to sulk.

“As long as I’m missing the tosses, it won’t be any practice for you.” But he wasn’t miss-

Ohhhhhh…

Lips twisting up into a smirk, you handed the two boys their bottles and walked off, the curious eyes of a few team members following you as you made your way back to the bench. You smiled to yourself as they began to giggle, a wave of relief washing over you and you could see them falling back into how their friendship used to be.

Everything was finally working out.

Slowly, but surely.

Just before the match, the coach called the team into a huddle to give them some encouragement.

However, you weren’t expecting him to nudge you forward, signalling for you to be the one to give them their usual pep talk today. They all blinked at you, and you blinked back, not really knowing what to say.

“Right, I know you’ve all had a rough time over the past week, and that sucks. But now, I want you to get your asses out on that court and give this game everything you’ve got. I don’t care is all of the new attacks work or if it just end up being one of them. You’re going to get into this match and show everyone in this gym that you have what it takes to beat a national-level team. You got me?” There was silence for a moment, none of them having expected you to come out with a speech like that.

“Nice one, dumbass.”

“Suck it, specs.” Tsukishima glowered at you from the back of the group. He was just opening his mouth to retort when the referee blew his whistle, signalling the start of the match. You sent him a bittersweet smile and watched as he huffed, all of the boys moving over to the court to take their positions.

“You know, as unexpected as that was, I think it was exactly what they needed right now.” As you turned to the coach in surprise, he chuckled at you. The boys were the only ones that he had seen making improvements over the past couple of months. He would say that you were the one who had grown the most, even if you couldn’t quite see it yet.

“If they’re thinking about something unusual before playing, it kind of takes the edge off a bit.” He nodded, impressed by the strange logic, and you both turned to watch the match.

Asahi was first up to serve, and while he had been practicing the move almost every day, you knew the success rate was still lower than he’d prefer it to be. All he needed was one good serve to spike his confidence, and hopefully, this one would be the one to do the trick.

“Asahi-senpai! Nice serve!” He smiled gratefully at your cheer of encouragement and you smiled back as he visibly relaxed. He took a deep breath and tossed the ball high up into the air. His hand hit ball with a good amount of power, and it looked as if it would land just within the boundaries of the court, but the opposing team’s libero received it before it could touch the floor.

“It’s off!” While it was a decent receive, especially with how fast the serve had been, it looked slightly short and Akaashi was forced to take a step or two away from the net to set it.

“Bokuto-san!” The ace enthusiastically ran up for the spike as Tobio and Tsukishima prepared to block it.

Within a split second, Bokuto had hit the ball and it was rebounding off of Tsukishima’s hands towards Fukurodani’s side of the court.

“Yes, Tsukki!” Finally, he had managed to block a spike.

“Out!” Indeed, the ball landed outside of the court and you felt a scowl creep up onto your face. You had spoken a bit too soon. He caught your eyes none the less and you swear that you saw the corners of his mouth twitch upwards.

The match continued and Karasuno was managing to keep up with the points, steadily maintaining one-point gap.

Asahi managed to break through the other team’s blockers, only for it to me miraculously received and put back into play. Although, it was off once again, and Akaashi found himself quite a way back from the net this time.

Even so, he set the ball with ease, and the blockers didn’t even have time to move before the ball was in your side of the court, giving the opponents yet another point.

“Damn, Akaashi. Pretty boy likes to show off.”

“Pretty boy?” It seemed that Tsukishima had heard you, even from the court, since he was stood closest to you. His eyebrow was raised, and you could tell that his eyes were teasing you from the way they danced behind his glasses.

“Oh, shush. Get back to your game.” He chuckled as you glared at him. For some reason, the nickname didn’t bother him one bit. He was never bothered at all by Akaashi, he realised. Which is why he was struggling to understand why Kuroo had been irking him so much over the past week.

Nishinoya nicely received the next serve, sending it over to your brother for him to set up ready for Tsukishima to spike. While the spike was pretty great, it was still dug out by their libero, who you were beginning to get increasingly frustrated with. He was good, you’d give him that.

Bokuto called for a spike, and you watched carefully as the blockers moved into place. With the front row being full of solid players, you were sure that all three of them would finally be able to block one of the ace’s spikes.

Although, you were clearly mistaken.

The owl-haired spiker managed to hit an insane cut shot, the ball flying past all of the blockers and landing neatly in your side of the court.

You gaped at the boy, having never seen him pull off a move like that. He needed to teach you that as soon as possible.

“Did you see that. Rei-chan? Huh? Huh?” You giggled as you watched him resisting the urge to run off of the court towards, instead moving over to Akaashi to make him join in on getting your attention.

“Yes, Tarō-senpai, it was amazing!” Some of your team grumbled at you for encouraging the enemy, but you couldn’t just lie and say that it wasn’t incredible, because it was. Even Akaashi looked shocked at him for managing to pull off the move.

“It was pure luck though!” Excuse you? He did that by chance?

He burst out laughing, clearly having boosted his own ego through the roof and you rolled your eyes in amusement.

Even with the light-hearted attitude, Fukurodani was slowly but surely pulling away in points, widening the gap between the two teams. It didn’t seem to bother your team though, and they carried on like they had been all week; receive, set, spike.

Tobio tossed over to Hinata, and while you were bursting with anticipation at the prospect of seeing the new quick, it still wasn’t the right time yet.

The smaller boy jumped as high as he could manage, reeling his arm back ready to break through the blockers and…

Feinted.

His hands merely tapped the ball and lightly arched it over the blockers’ hands. The entire team stood in disbelief as the opposing players dove for the ball, only to miss it by a few centimetres.

You knew the feeling of looking down on the players you had managed to catch out with a trick like that in the middle of a game, and that was what Hinata was currently experiencing for the first time. Along with that, he was always having to look up at people wherever he was due to his height, so towering so far above someone for a change must be exhilarating.

“A feint?” Bokuto was being his usual overdramatic self, and you hid a snicker behind your hand.

“You’re the one that taught it to him, Bokuto-san.” You burst out laughing at the irony. This must have been what you missed by skipping out practice with them the night before.

Tobio looked as if he was malfunctioning, an expression of complete bewilderment on his face.

“You actually used your head? You’re gonna get a fever.” You couldn’t stop laughing, to the point where you were choking from the lack of oxygen. Kiyoko patted your back and handed you your water bottle, which you took gratefully.

“We’re not gonna lose!” At least Bokuto was still fired up. You knew that it would encourage your boys to prove him wrong, and you couldn’t wait to see how they were going to do it.

Karasuno continued their attacks and were beginning to catch up in points, Tobio even going for a setter dump.

“I’d say that he’s almost completely back to normal.” Ukai hummed in agreement, knowing that all the duo needed to do now was nail the new quick.

“It feels like the calm before the storm. Kinda scares me.” It was true, but you had seen him like this many times before. He was truly in his element now, and it was going to take quite a lot to knock him out of place again.

Point after point was scored, and the team was doing amazing. You were pretty sure that this was the best you had ever seen them play since you had become their manager and it was truly incredible. Everyone was working in synch and they were managing to keep the ball in play no matter what. The match was running so smoothly that you could barely keep track of it all.

You saw Hinata race towards the net out of the corner of your eye.

It was time.

Now was the perfect moment to try the new quick. At this point, and with how well they had been playing throughout this match, you knew they could definitely pull it off, and you knew your brother could see that as well.

And yet he still hesitated.

It was clear as day on his face that he was anxious, something you rarely saw him express. Whether he didn’t want to mess up the toss or ruin the good atmosphere, you knew he was about to miss out on his chance.

But Tobio could never deny Hinata something that he wanted to do so desperately.

He was ready.

His fingers made contact with the ball and he tossed.

The ball arched over to Hinata…

…and then stopped.

Hinata’s palm made contact with the ball, and then it was rebounding off of the opposite side of the court floor, the other players not even having time to blink. There was silence in the gym as everyone processed the movement.

It had worked.

“Yes, Tobio! Finally!” He didn’t seem to hear you though, his gaze shifting towards his partner before they erupted in shrieks of excitement. Although, even that didn’t last long, and they were already bickering not even seconds later. The whole team began to celebrate, especially since it was the first of their new moves to actually work, and after a very long week of trying, it gave them that last push of hope they needed to keep going.

You chuckled as you watched them, an expression of pure pride taking over your features. Tobio looked so happy, genuinely happy, for the first time in three weeks, and you were just glad that things were getting back to normal at last.

The final puzzle piece had settled into place.

~~~

There was really no stopping Karasuno today.

The match continued on and you could barely contain your excitement. They were still managing to keep up with Fukurodani in points, and their teamwork was better than ever.

Unfortunately, the new quick wasn’t exactly working out as well as everyone had hoped, and you winced as the toss came just a bit too short, making it impossible for Hinata to spike. The buzz from it working so well the first time must be distracting Tobio, but you were sure that he would shake it off soon.

Hinata managed to get a hand on the next spike, but your brother ended up being the one to receive it, meaning that he couldn’t set it. Noya immediately sprang into action, leaping in the air from just behind the back line. Rotating his body, the ball fell into his hands and he tossed it over to the spikers.

Asahi hit the ball with and impressive amount of force and sent it flying towards the floor, but it ended up landing just outside of the court boundary. Either way, it worked! That was the second of their new attacks to finally work after so long of trying.

“Nishinoya-san! That was incredible!” He was clearly upset about the attack not scoring them a point, but he relaxed considerably at your smile, giving you a thumbs up, which you returned.

The team kept up the pace, trying to close the gap in points completely. As Noya received another of Fukurodani’s spikes, you noticed everyone’s attitudes shift at once and you gulped. They were all so serious when they were on the court that it was scary sometimes.

“Now!” All for spikers began to run forward and you stared in awe.

Was this it?

Would it work?

One by one they jumped into the air and even you couldn’t figure out where the toss was going until Tobio set the ball, sending it over to Tanaka. He hit it just right and landed the ball in the court while the blockers were still distracted, earning the point for Karasuno.

“All right!”

“Yes, Tanaka-san! One more!” He looked as though he could cry, and you couldn’t imagine how they all felt with the attacks going as well as they were, especially after so much hard work.

Looking over at the other team, it looked as though Bokuto was beginning to get frustrated with their sudden improvement. Even Akaashi had an irritated scowl on his face.

After a few more points, they were really getting into the game. Asahi managed to score with his serve, the libero not being able to receive it due to the force, Tsukishima’s blocks were holding up nicely, getting a hand on the ball even if he couldn’t stop it, and the libero-set worked once again, Daichi managing to score the point this time.

A time out was called when both teams reached eighteen points, and you could more or less feel the buzz of confidence surrounding your players.

“If we can keep number four under control, victory is in sight.” You knew they were doing well, but you weren’t so sure that he was right.

“Don’t get too cocky though.” Their attention turned to you and you smiled at them slyly.

“As I‘m sure you’ve seen from a few other teams that you’ve played, a team is not just their ace. A proper team ensures that they don’t just have to rely on one player.” They looked as though they knew what you were saying but didn’t quite understand.

“With the way Bokuto is looking right now, you’re about to experience this first-hand, so get ready.” All you received in response was a bunch of blank stares, none of them quite knowing what you were getting at, but they agreed with you none the less. As they got ready to get back to playing, you caught Akaashi’s eye and you chuckled, knowing exactly what was coming.

Fukurodani managed to earn a point straight away to set them in the lead again, but you didn’t like the way Bokuto stalked off to the back of the court to serve. He was losing his temper majorly, and that was never good.

“All right! Here I go!” As usual, he tossed the ball up in the air and got ready to deliver his immensely powerful serve.

Only to serve it straight into the net beside Konoha’s head.

Bokuto fell to his knees in anguish, and you rolled your eyes at his dramatics while his teammates tried to calm him down. Karasuno didn’t seem phased just yet, but then again, they didn’t know what was about to happen.

“Bring it to me!” You winced as Bokuto called out for another toss. Sending it to his was risky, in case he missed again, but not sending it to him was also risky, in case he threw a tantrum, so it was impossible to know the right decision. Poor Akaashi.

Said setter sent the ball over to him anyway, but he couldn’t manage to get past the three blockers in his way. Their libero managed to retrieve the ball and keep it in play, but Bokuto was already calling for another toss. You could see the hesitation in Akaashi’s face. Missing three strikes in a row was definitely sure to destroy him.

The blockers jumped to stop him, and the ball fell to the floor on Fukurodani’s side of the court.

Only, the blockers weren’t what stopped it.

It had hit the top of the net.

“Oh no,” The coach followed you line of sight over to see the ace stood in the middle of the court, his team surrounding him as he hung his head low.

“Akaashi…” Was it time already?

“Don’t toss to me anymore for today!” There it was; Bokuto’s emo mode.

“Okay. Then while I’m not tossing to you, please calm yourself down.” You really admired how easily the setter could deal with his friend. Your boys seemed extremely confused at the outburst, but you could see the realisation in a few of their faces as they connected it to what you had said to them just a few moments ago.

Despite the disruption, Fukurodani was able to easily keep up in points, not letting Karasuno get more than one point ahead at any given time.

“It doesn’t seem like Fukurodani is fazed at all.” You grinned at the two adults stood next to you as they looked over for some sort of explanation.

“Bokuto may be the captain and act like the strongest member of the team, but really he’s just a big baby. Once he starts to lose his temper he’s more or less an active bomb waiting to explode. They’re all used to it by now.” Ukai hummed in thought.

“So that’s what you meant by them not relying on just one player. All of them are pretty well rounded.” Nodding, you looked back just as Akaashi tipped the ball into your side of the court instead of setting it.

It was always nice to see Akaashi use a setter dump, because nobody ever expected it, being too busy watching their ace.

“Ah, this is so sad.” Bokuto was wandering around the court like a lost puppy, his teammates handling everything for him.

They managed to reach match point very quickly, even without their star player, and it began to become clear that Karasuno wasn’t going to be able to win this, not today at least.

Tsukishima managed to completely shut out one of their spikes and you smiled. He was finally working as part of the team.

Asahi’s next serve was well received by their libero, meaning that Fukurodani would have a good shot at a point. You could see Bokuto fidgeting relentlessly, desperate for a spike. He was glancing over at Akaashi every few seconds, keeping an eye on who the spike was about to be sent to.

Akaashi set the ball and it arched well over the other spikers, towards the very left of the court. Tobio and Tsukishima had finally realised what was about to happen, having taken their attention away from the ace since he hadn’t been spiking any balls.

The boys couldn’t reach him in time to block the ball, not even getting a hand on it. It flew straight between the two of them and hit the floor with an impressive amount of force, bringing a smirk to Akaashi’s lips.

The match was finally over, and yet Bokuto still seemed to be in a bad mood, which is where Akaashi looked over to you for help. He smiled at you guiltily, silently pleading with you for help, and you couldn’t resist.

Sighing, you looked up at Ukai, who rolled his eyes but still nodded at you to go ahead.

You placed your notebook under your arm to hold it and cupped your hands around your mouth to amplify your voice.

“Tarō-senpai! That was awesome! Only the best from the ace!” He began to laugh manically, and you immediately knew it had worked. It really didn’t take much to pull him out of a mood like this, especially when his main motivator was his own ego.

“In the end, I am the strongest! Hey, hey, hey!” You smiled fondly at your friend, before turning your attention back to your own team, only to find them all glaring you down.

“Why would you do that?”

“Traitor.” Giggling, you began to hand out their water bottles, congratulating them on how well they all did.

They had managed to hold up their own pretty well against some of the best teams in the country that week.

You couldn’t be prouder of them.

~~~

The barbecue rolled around in the late afternoon and the smell of cooked meat in the warm summer air was heavenly. You couldn’t think of a better way to end the week for both you and the boys other than this. The relaxing atmosphere was definitely a welcome change from the chaos that the matches had been.

You managed to pick out the tall blond that you had been looking for surprisingly easily amidst the crowd of players and you made your way over to him gradually, greeting most of the other players and managers you crossed paths with on the way.

“Did you have fun?” He jumped as you appeared behind him suddenly, having not noticed you approaching. You smiled widely up at him as you waited for him to answer you, and he couldn’t help but notice how tired you were.

Even if you hadn’t been playing yourself, you had been working hard to keep all of the boys, and especially himself, in check over the entire camp. It must have been exhausting for you to deal with an entire team of unruly boys every day. He was slightly guilty that he had been the majority of the trouble you had dealt with, meaning he was a big part of the reason you looked so worn out.

“Y-yeah. I think I did.” A nice silence settled in between the two of you, and Tsukishima forced himself to move his gaze away from you, afraid of what he would do if he continued to stare into your eyes like he had been.

“It’s nice to see you finally enjoying yourself a bit. Keep it up, beanpole.” Hit you. He would hit you if he carried on looking at you.

Even so, he chuckled at the nickname, slowly growing to somewhat like it, all because you were the one that called him that.

“Enjoy the feast, Tsukki.” You placed a hand gently on his upper arm as you passed him, going back over to mingle with the other players. He kept his focus on you as you moved across the yard to go and speak with Bokuto, Akaashi, and Kuroo. He barely noticed as his mood began to darken, a scowl rising on his face and his fists clenching at his sides as he watched you laugh at one of their stupid jokes.

“So, you do like her then?”

“Yeah- what?” He whipped his head to the side in panic to see Yamaguchi stood there with his arms crossed and a smug look on his face. Tsukishima was frozen in place, at a complete loss of what to say.

Fuck.

“I knew it.” The blond sighed. There was no use in denying it now.

He was in big trouble.

taglist: @tchalameme, @iamthepenguinwhosearseisonfire, @loreblackthorne, @lorentime, @influxencer, @enagmaticether, @nerdstuff1994, @keikink, @ewwis

J: I’ve also been posting some birthday imagines for the boys, so if you’d like, you can check those out on my main karasuno masterlist :)

#haikyuu #haikyuu!!#tsukishima #tsukishima x reader #tsukishima kei #tsukki #tsukishima kei x reader #karasuno

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ijustchangedmyname · 4 years

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Menajerimi Ara Episode 10- A Few Thoughts (Or A Rant)

Okay, so I've been watching Menajerimi Ara for a few weeks and the reaction to the last episode was what made my feelings boil over and finally forced me to voice my thoughts. I was taking numerous notes while watching which were mostly me fangirling over Dicle and Feris but I hope I sound coherent.

I'd like to start off with how much I adore Dicle. I have loved many female characters over the years (e.g recently Eda and Ceren, of Sen Çal Kapımı) but Dicle is the one I relate most to. It was her character that drew me into the story and kept me hooked. I love that she's sensitive, expressive, hardworking, quietly confident yet humble. She cries but she keeps powering through. I absolutely adore her and just want to follow her story to see her succeeding and being happy.

Rating War and Social Media

The reason that really made me write was the brief snippet I got into the fandom's reaction while going through twitter to follow the live translation. I very rarely go to twitter for fan discourse because it's too fast and crazy for my taste.

While I am glad that the day change grabbed ratings and the social media fandom is crucial in getting their views heard and making the hashtags trend, I was genuinely surprised by the few tweets I passed over regarding Emir's introduction and how the tracks were being written.

I completely agree that the writing did seem contrary at times to me. The characters seemed to be taking inconsistent decisions on the whim of the writer just to cause drama. Also, the it was more focused on the personal lives of the managers rather than the industry drama.

All of this just reinforced the reactive and extremely volatile nature of the Turkish TV Industry and the instant lashing. But it made me realise how rigid we as an audience have become.

People arguing that they want the original writing and arcs, and especially "Dicbar", while at the same time arguing that the real reason they're watching is not for the romance but the industry behind the scenes.

This was particularly reflected in the reading of Emir's character and twisting his actions - partly by the writer because he was introduced entirely as part of a triangle- to make him out to be a controlling person who will prove to be an abusive partner. I mean the reach. It leached all joy out of watching for me.

I dearly hope the writer does NOT take this direction and turn him into a psychopath or a typical antagonist down the road.

Viewing Experience

@howaboutbucky writes AMAZING reviews of the episodes and I wait eagerly for her insights each week. In her last one regarding Episode 9, she hit the nail on the head again. *chef's kiss*

I'd like to build upon what she mentioned regarding MA going the dark path of only trying to bank on woman on woman hate and tension by writing Gulin and especially Beren as they have been doing. I think Dizis suffer the same issue that romance novels in general do. The primary audience is women and it invites alot of scrutiny of women's actions by women themselves. Everything is nitpicked.

What truly angers me though is that even here if men are secondary characters or evil or have no growth arc they are still given a free pass to dwell in more shades of grey than female characters ever do. Because the writers are busy writing cliche tracks and we as an audience are busy picking it apart while male characters get to enjoy even the benefits of being ignored.

Dicle and Selflessness

As I said, Dicle has been my absolute favourite character and I loved that they had managed to balance this quality so far. However, I feel like she is going to fall victim to the 'melek gibi' leads that usually populate dizis. Her selflessness was bordering on stupidity in this episode. I liked how her honesty and goodness was shown as positive in the Burcin episode while in the first one her good intentions with Tuba backfired. How she was going to give up her job to make Kyrach's life easier but then decided that she wouldn't. I loved that she referred to "becoming a little shark" at that point as Kyrach had predicted. I wish the show would keep this balance and show Dicle's greatest strength is her greatest weakness and how she struggles to retain her integrity in the industry. That is what made me emotional.

In this episode, it didn't make me feel, her "selfless" decisions made me mad. What put me off even further was how everyone kept lauding her selflessness, as if the audience would'nt have caught on had not every character bashed us over the head with it. It was as bad as everyone apologising to Beren.

I actually would've like if they portrayed how Dicle's decisions were actually mostly selfish. Who is she to tell Barış to go make up with Beren? As a friend, that is overstepping a line. Her asking Kyrach to make sure Beren was not fired was a way to make herself not feel guilty.

The only time I thought Dicle was being herself was when she balked after finding out Feris had brought her to set to be apologised to. Dicle HAS been established as wanting to avoid conflict since the start. Emir was right on about that.

Barış

Honestly, I wish they'd give us more insight into Barış career, have him do fun friend things with Dicle or just not show him atall and we'll assume he's off with Beren or his friends or whatever. To have him just stand around and be jealous is agonising. @likeablehades and @nawaazishein did a wonderful post about Barış recently. I loved his character since the start, not to ship but just to follow his growth.

Emir

Right off the bat, Emir was written to be the complete opposite of Barış in his mannerisms, in everyway. And you know what? I liked it. I was excited by it. We were going to see another younger actor's experience close up, who was confident and comfortable with his stardom.

I wanted to find out his backstory and what kind of struggles he might face. I sincerely hope that we get to know him more not just in a love triangle but as having a growth arc of his own. I think just using him as a triangle is a reductive reading of his character by the writer. (and the audience)

I love that he's slightly icy yet straightforward. He seems mature and not emotionally constipated??

I'm sincerely hoping we get to delve more into his character and see how his and Dicle's arcs intertwine.

Parallels

I'd like to mention Barış and how he shows emotion. He has said himself that a scream builds inside him. It's interesting how he initially comes off as impulsive yet on closer examination he actually refrains from reacting right away most of the time, especially with Dicle and what we see is him hitting breaking point due to repressed feelings and then taking rash decisions.

In a way I find him similar to Dicle that he avoids confrontation, especially romantic, unless pushed hard. Throughout Barış doesnot show his emotions in the moment. He only broke up with Beren through a scene they were doing.

Perhaps it's a side effect of being an actor. He takes his craft seriously; analysing a scene, understanding a character and then embodying the emotion that fits. I think it carries over to him receding into an observer role in key situations (such as with Dicle on the terrace in Ep 10) and trying to decide the perfect response.

Another thing is how Dicle and Emir parallels Dicle and Barış; thete is a role reversal for Dicle.

I think we tend to get too attached to the first love interest. Personally, I'd love it if Barış and Dicle actually became great friends. (although a waste of chemistry :"( )

From the start, Dicle went into that relationship expecting something romantic and I never felt that she was equal. Whereas with Emir she has always been professional. Dicle doesn't avoid confrontation with Emir ever since he openly pointed out he was testing her. She never gives under pressure.

With no expectations, it feels more of an equal push and pull in their interactions even if they are not romantic.

Some random thoughts I had while watching:

- Dicle looks FIRE in all her scenes. 😭😭😭❤❤❤❤

-Emir is so firmly in the clientzone lol.

- So Dicle is 22, Emir is 28. How old is Barış?

-I love the head wagging Chynar does everytime he's happy and something has been accomplished!!! (at Dicle after she told Burcin the truth and at Kyrach when he told him about Buse being hired.)

-I do womder why Barış doesn't have any friends? :"(

-Aah Feris ahh canim benim.

- I wish we'd get to see small snippets of Dicle talk to her mother more. Not only when she has a problem. I'd love to see what she says to Leyla about her work mom.

-"Other girls might like it." I don't understand why we have to put down other girls in order to be considered strong.

- Julide serving looks!!

- Honestly why is Barış with Beren?????

He has no interest. None of the younger people are in love in this show, it's just infatuation. Beren and Dicle's with Barış.

- Ugghh Deniz Can Aktaş ♡♡♡ That head movement he does as Barış. And the smile. I adore.

- Meral suggesting a BECHAMEL BOOK LMAAOO

-Is "you didn't answer my question" going to be Emir and Dicle's "phrase"?

I love that she's buying a cookbook aaah!!

- And most importantly- WHO IS LEAKING INFORMATION??!!!!!

I can't shake the feeling that it is Gulin.

#menajerimi ara #dicle #barış #baris #emir #Barış Havas #Rant #analysis #mini lb #feris #chinar #kyrach #thoughts

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ashis2gay4u · 5 years

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A Different Kind of Magic For My Poor Heart

Prompt: Write about how magic is the norm. Some excel at it, some are only okay, and others are against it completely, despite being able to use it. Your main character is the latter.

A/N: I used SAGA instead of LGBTQ+ due to the fact that I once saw a post referring to how it should be the official name instead of LGBTQ+ due to the fact that it's all inclusive, and I personally loved the idea.

Nico di Angelo glared at his reflection, staring himself down. He noticed how his black eyes flitted across the mirror, taking in every little imperfection of his face.

He noticed the bags under his eyes, his extremely pale skin with majorly contrasting freckles, the way his chapped lips looked too feminine for his liking, how his eyes were such a dark brown they were almost black, and not to mention all the scars lining his bare chest and shoulders, the long-lasting bruise around his neck like a choker he can never seem to get rid of or cover up.

A hard knock at his door had him spinning around, quickly putting on his black Punisher t-shirt, pulling his black Joker themed beanie tighter over his long black hair before grabbing and adjusting his leather jacket.

He opened the door, gripping the strap of his Three Days Grace satchel tightly in one hand as he beamed at his crush, Percy Jackson.

"Hey, dude! You ready for our magical adventure?" Percy asked, his sea green eyes brimming with excitement.

Nico inwardly cringed at the word "magical". He hated magic, especially his own. He felt uncomfortable whenever his friends used their powers, even when Percy did.

Magic was a common thing in this world, but at the time and age he came from, it was looked down upon to use it in public. He still wasn't used to this time and age, his mind was still stuck in that time when magic users, people of color, and people of the SAGA community were all shunned and abused and used.

Nico nodded, exiting his cabin into the cold fall air, pulling his fingerless gloves tighter, hoping to cover more of his slightly exposed wrists.

Camp Half-Blood was a summer and year round camp for "disturbed" children and teenagers, according to the flyers and advertisements. In reality, it was a camp built to help young children and teens learn to better control their powers.

When he was ten, Percy and his best friend Annabeth had found him and his older sister Bianca and brought them here. Bianca instantly jumped on the train, and ended up abandoning him to join an all girls camp. He hated her for it for a while, but then he learned to accept it all.

Except for the fact that he was forced to use his magic everyday in order to keep himself from becoming homeless. That was the only downside.

He shuddered when he remembered how hard it was to survive without using his magic when he had ran away from camp.

He followed Percy to the borders of camp, where Argus, a mute man who has the magical ability to see everything around him, was waiting for them by the camp van.

He nodded at them, and Percy nodded back. Nico felt like a hundred eyes were staring down at him in disapproval, and due to Argus' nickname being the "Hundred Eyed Man" among campers, he wouldn't be surprised if it was the man himself.

He climbed into the back of the van next to Percy, only to have a pair of thin yet strong arms wrap around his neck.

"BABY BAT WINGS!" an excited voice shouted in his ear.

Nico rolled his eyes, "Shut it, Repair Boy," he said, turning to glare at one of his best friends, Leo Valdez.

He noticed that the others were already there, and Nico glared at Jason Grace, who was wiggling his eyebrows at him.

"Awee, but Neeeeeekssss~!" Leo whined, earning a light slap from Jason's girlfriend, Piper McLean.

"Leo, leave the poor boy alone. Look at him, he has depression!"

Okay, low-blow, McLean.

He groaned and sunk further into his seat, clutching his satchel to his chest.

Finally, the door to the front opened, and in a second, one Annabeth Chase became visible.

Nico hated her power most of all. Invisibility, one of the most hated magical abilities from his time period. It was most common among thieves and murderers back then. Worst part is, it's all of both Athena cabin and Hermes cabin that have the ability, and they're both filled with people most likely capable of committing these crimes.

He doesn't like Jason's or Piper's either. He doesn't mind Leo's and Percy's. It still bothers him, but as he knew Leo before camp- he met him when they had both ran away from their respective homes at the same time-, and he has a crush on Percy, it doesn't bother him as much.

But Annabeth... He didn't like her much. She was always nice to him, but he could tell she liked Percy too, and he disliked her for it, because although Percy may be bi, he tended to lean more towards girls than guys.

Not to mention, he knew she could murder him in seconds if she wanted to, so there was also that.

Nico huffed as Annabeth signed to Argus effortlessly, and he responded just as easily.

Miss Perfect, Percy's little Wise Girl.

He put his bag down at his feet and managed to pull his knees up to his chest, earning a strange look from Percy.

He smiled at him, a small smile, but a smile nonetheless, and Percy smiled back so warmly and brightly Nico swore he was from the Apollo cabin, with magical abilities as bright and pure yet dangerous as the sun.

Nico flinched and blushed a deep red when Percy swung his arm over his shoulders. Whether the older boy noticed or not, he didn't say. Nico had to fight the urge to snuggle up against him.

Lo and behold, he didn't have to hold back for long, because Leo- who knew about his crush on the water-bender- decided to be a very unwanted wing-man and climbed to the middle seats where he and Percy sat and sat down next to Nico, pushing him against Percy's side regardless of what his pride and dignity demanded of him.

He could feel Annabeth's grey eyes watching him from the rear-view mirror, and instantly cursed every single god he could think of for this cursed fate.

This... Was going to be one long-ass field trip.

Nico huffed as he face planted onto the bed of the hotel room in New Rome, the camp on the opposite side of the US.

He still didn't know who he was bunking with, because as soon as he saw the key-cards he grabbed one and ran, dragging his bag behind him.

He sat up and turned to face the opening door, only for his face to drain of color.

"No, you can not be my bed-mate!" Nico cried, glaring Percy down.

Percy looked taken aback, "But... Leo is staying with Frank and Hazel, Annabeth is staying with Reyna, and Jason is bunking with Piper. I've got nobody else to bunk with, and we only booked four rooms..."

"Who the fuck authorized that?" he demanded.

"Jason did?" Percy said, although it sounded more like a question.

"DAMMIT! I KNEW I SHOULDN'T HAVE COME HERE!"

"...Am I that horrible?"

Nico's head shot up at the cold, angry voice Percy was using. He's never used it on Nico or Grover, but he's directed it at everybody else, including Annabeth, at least once.

"What?" he asked, confused.

Percy's hands shook slightly, and Nico knew if he got anymore angry than he was, toilets and sinks and tubs would start exploding and flooding the place.

"Am I that horrible that the mere idea of me sharing a bed with you makes you wish you never came along? Do you actually hate me that bad? Do I make your skin crawl because I'm not afraid to use my magic? Is that it?"

"N-no-"

"Then what the fuck is it, Nico?!"

There went the sink, two more to go before instant flooding of the hotel room.

"I-I-"

"You, you? You what, Nico?"

The toilet exploded then. One more before doomsday.

So, naturally, Nico lost his shit, and went crazy-mad first.

"I DON'T WANT TO SHARE A ROOM WITH YOU BECAUSE I LIKE YOU, YOU STUPID MERMAID!" Nico finally snapped, wanting to get away. He could feel his own magic run rampant, the room temperature dropping to below freezing, shadows clawing at his clothes and the walls. He could feel the skeletons trying to break free from the ground, trying to come to him.

Percy froze, before making his way over to the bed.

Nico cowered, and put a hand out. Shadows shot from his palms, wrapping themselves around Percy's legs and knocking him down, "S-stay away. I-I know I-I'm disgusting. You like Annabeth, obviously, you always tended to favor her over me before. Sure, you've been really nice lately, but... You always fall back to her and Grover, a-and-"

He let out a hiccup, wiping at the tears he didn't even realize until now he had been shedding, and retracted his hands, the shadows retreating back into his body like clockwork.

The sink and toilet stopped flowing as Percy just sat there, sprawled on the ground still, staring up at Nico, who was now full-on sobbing.

"A-an' I know you don't want a... A pathetic k-kid like me... Somebody w-ho d-doesn't even like magic... And... I just wish you'd l-leave me alone because all I w-want is you but I can't have you and..."

Nico let out a light gasp as he was pulled against a warm, well-built chest.

Percy's chest.

'He smells like the ocean...' Nico thought, feeling all the strength he had leave his body.

He broke down, majorly. Wailing and all.

"Hey, hey... It's okay, Neeks... Come on, look at me..." Percy mumbled softly, rubbing soothing circles into Nico's back.

Nico let out a small sob, and managed to force himself to look up at Percy, who was looking at him with concern.

Great, now you're a charity case.

"W...Why are you still here...?" he asked in a small voice, trying to keep himself from falling victim to a panic attack.

"Because, Ghost King, I like you too," Percy replied, smiling softly.

Nico stared at him in utter shock, mouth opening and closing like a fish.

"I didn't tell you because I wasn't sure you liked me back, not to mention I'm older than you by three years, and..."

"You... No... I... What...?"

"Awe, I broke your poor little brain," Percy teased, and Nico let out a small laugh.

"In your dreams, Seaweed Brain."

"Hey, only Annabeth can call me that."

Nico instantly soured. "Sorry," he spat, "Mermaid-Man."

Percy's face instantly turned into one of apology, "I'm sorry, I-"

Nico laughed, "Now look who got fucked over! HA!"

"You little fuckin'-" He was suddenly cut off by Nico, who had pressed his lips against Percy's in a short, gentle kiss.

He was satisfied by the fact that when he pulled away, Percy was blushing madly.

"So ah... What now?" he asked sheepishly, and Nico grinned.

"One, be my boyfriend. Two... Go on a date with me?"

Percy nodded, "YES!" he shouted, only to seemingly mentally reel himself back in and say, "I-I mean, ah, yes, that sounds lovely."

Nico laughed again, smiling brightly as he wiped away the rest of his tears, "Great, let's go."

"Now?"

"Right now, yes. There's still daylight."

Percy smiled back, nodding as he stood up, helping the other boy to his feet as well.

He didn't let go of Nico's hand afterwards.

They went off, laughing and smiling and exchanging sweet kisses.

Nico may not like magic, but he enjoys how magical the trip turned out to be, he enjoyed how magical the sparks of each kiss he shared with Percy felt, and how magical the tingling of his fingers entwined with the older boy's felt.

He may not like the magic he's accustomed to, but the magic of Percy's hand in his, of knowing Percy is his, makes him hate magic a little less.

Just a little.

{La Fin}

~Ashton Bende

#heroes of olympus #percico #nicercy #percy jackson #nico di angelo #magic!au

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blackcatmanor · 4 years

Text

RWBY V7 Ch11 Photo review (spoilers)

A really great episode showing a lot of good strides made by the crew as storytellers! Pictures below

Story stuff that was good:

Fights- Both action and the fighting in Ironwood’s office was well done. So much, in fact they deserve their own mini-breakdowns:

Combat fights:

Ironwood vs Watts- I appreciated the apparent disparity between their combat styles. Ironwood was clearly a stronger, more aggressive, and overall better fighter, but Watts used his smarts and ability to manipulate the anti-gravity fields to help gain an advantage (I called that- yay!). I am really glad how this fight played out because it shows that the crew really thought about it and didn’t just make it a generic match between two opponents. The setting and dynamics of the anti-gravity field were also great and I think this will end up being one of the top fights of all time in RWBY. 10/10

I hated watching the end, though but for the right reasons: Watching Ironwood peel his skin off to get free from the shield was excruciating and awful to watch, which really matches the tone of the scene. Watts just sort of standing there flabbergasted was even kind of appropriate, because you could tell he expected to trap Ironwood and did not expect the lengths Ironwood would go to in order to free himself. Some of the dialogue was a bit hammy, such as “You don’t want even MORE parts of your body made of metal,” and Ironwoods “I will sacrifice WHATEVER IT TAKES to stop her” but it wasn’t too distracting.

Tyrian vs the Qrow, Clover, and Robyn (aka the throuple).

This fight was very well choreographed but it was overall a bit of a mixed bag, mostly good but unexpected when considering what was teased in the opening cinematic. The opening cinematic promised a lot more interaction of Qrow and Robyn, with Robyn engaging Tyrian hand-to-hand, but Robyn literally stayed on the sidelines taking pot-shots and just got the final takedown by chance. If Tyrian had just dodged that last arrow, she wouldn’t have had the takedown and cool one-liner moment at all. Clover similarly was somewhat sidelined but he definitely had way more involvement in the fight than Robyn.

However, despite my criticism that Robyn and Clover were somewhat sidelined, I actually liked how Qrow was the main force behind the fight, because it gave him a chance to get revenge for his poisoning in Vol. 4, and he landed a lot of really good punches and kicks. It’s a nice callback even though the fight was slightly muddled by the different tone previewed by the opening cinematic, which promised a lot more cooperation rather than a Qrow vs Tyrian re-match.

Fights (verbal)

The fight in Ironwood’s office was great. Some of the dialogue was a bit wonky at times but overall it had the perfect impact: I felt re-invigorated in rooting for our girls and I wanted to punch the Ace Ops in the face! The clash of ideals was awesome and shows a great juxtaposition between our idealistic huntresses who never back down from a fight even if they may not win and the Military/Strategic and Tactical style from Atlas, with Huntsmen and Huntresses willing to sacrifice lives for a greater victory (losing the battle to win the war).

I think they did a good job of showing subtle differences in Ace Ops, as Vine and Harriet seem more in-line with Ironwood, Marrow seemed super conflicted (bordering on miserable), and Elm was somewhat in the middle. However, as they are the military, all of them fell in line at the end, showing a possible struggle between RWBY and the Ace Ops.

The conflict between ideologies carried into the Throuple as well, and it was a great show vs tell moment where Qrow and Robyn are allied in the idealistic paradigm, with Clover literally on the opposite side.

Basically:

Ruby is Captain America, Yang is the Hulk, Weiss is Ironman, Blake is Spiderman.

Cliffhangers

The cliffhanger in this volume is much more natural than volumes 5 and 6. In the previous two volumes, the last few episodes simply chopped up existing fights and stretched them out, pausing the combat to just resume a week later. This episodes’ cliffhanger was spectacularly done. The two main combat fights of the chapter are finished, but there is still plenty of conflict set up for later, and the ideological battles seem like they will escalate naturally in the next part. I expect the next part to have a Cinder vs Winter fight, and Neo vs Oscar/his team, but I am honestly more excited to see how the ideological conflicts escalate, with RWBY/Qrow/Robyn conflicting with the Ace Ops.

Interestingly, this style of cliffhanger also fits well with the Military style of combat, which ties into Atlas as our setting: The battles of this chapter are over and won, but it’s clear a greater war is still raging, and the next batch of battles are just around the corner.

Story stuff that was bad not as well-executed:

Overall I have a few minor complaints- one larger than the other

Oscar’s shopping spree: Oscar has a serious addiction to take out that many robots just to disappear and go shopping again. In all seriousness though, it would have been nice to see Oscar fooled and taken, since it was teased that Neo would use her semblance to disguise as Ruby to get to him. We already knew explicitly that Neo was going after him, so the “reveal” of him being gone at the end wasn’t a reason to skip the cool part of Neo tricking him and overwhelming all the robot guards. The amount of stuff that happens with Oscar off-screen is maddening.

Ironwood’s plan has a pretty big hole in it: This one is my larger complaint. Ironwood wants to take Atlas into the sky, but everyone knows Cinder is there on campus, and Ironwood even explicitly says “For all we know Hazel’s here too.” So, why would you try to get yourself high away from Salem’s forces when possibly two of the strongest foes are hanging out right there? (ok from what we’ve seen Cinder is not the strongest, but in-canon with the Maiden powers she is supposed to be one of the strongest).

I suppose Ironwood wants to get them high enough before reinforcements can arrive, because it’s better to deal with a few saboteurs in your city than wait for Salem to show up, but the fact that they don’t address this is kind of odd. You have an unknown number of people who are actively trying to interfere with your plans and you know they are in your school- so how are you going to mitigate that threat?

Character stuff that was good

Ironwood- This volume has done a much better job of establishing a morally gray character, whereas the Writers totally face-planted with Ozpin in the past. You feel for Ironwood because he has good intentions, but he has been driven nearly-mad with PTSD, which has given him a hair-trigger and causes him to make irrational and objectively bad decisions. I think the story can go further with his character, with his development arc being his struggle to reign-in his fear and paranoia and redeem himself. Ironwood’s V/A is also one of the strongest, so I think he can handle the possible complexity of the character’s arc going forward.

Ruby- Ruby was really good this episode. The episode had her trying to be a confident leader by telling Salem she will fail, but her speech wasn’t cheesy or ham-fisted. It was also great to see her confidence immediately crumble seconds later with the reveal that Salem was behind Summer’s death. Ruby’s anguish was a highlight of the episode, as it was well animated and pretty well acted (the animation carried most of the weight. Lindsay’s performance was pretty good, but I think it was hard for her to play Ruby’s kid-like voice in anguish. This is another reason why I hope the Ruby kid-voice thing becomes less prevalent in the future).

I was also super stoked on getting a better idea of what happened to Summer. This scene was great and I hope it will have a huge impact on Ruby going forward as she learns to cope with this information and overcome her grief.

Character stuff that was bad:

Watts, we hardly knew ye- RIP To Watts. It was nice to hear Watt’s somewhat deranged motivations, but I’m bummed he’s gone. I think he was an interesting character and it would have been great to delve into his madness more- maybe a conversation with Pietro once they knew Watts was still alive. Pietro could have been a great vessel to explain Watts’ past to the group, and establish his villainy even more. Overall, it’s unfortunate the interesting villains keep getting killed off or sidelined (Hazel where art thou?). That being said I don’t think Tyrian is done yet. I think that Salem coming means she will spring Tyrian out of custody once again, as a poetic reference to his backstory we got earlier in the chapter.

Overall 9/10. The episode was really good with a few minor issues. The fights between people are becoming a lot more thoughtful again, with efforts to showcase individual strengths and weaknesses. Ironwood’s extreme measures are a good way to paint someone with good intentions making the worst decisions, something they failed to do in the past. The cliffhangers are much more thought-out and organic rather than just slicing big fights into chunks.

Is her model’s giant head pasted onto a smoke body? >,< I kind of lol’d when Salem first appeared because of her floaty head but it becomes less distracting as her dialogue goes on.

#rwby spoilers #rwby vol7 #ruby rose #james ironwood #yang xiao long #blake belladonna #weiss schnee #oscar pine #rwby salem #arthur watts #tyrian callows #clover ebi #ace ops #this episode was great #rwby #marrow amin #harriet bree

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james-stark-the-writer-wips · 4 years

Text

A Year At The Opera - Excerpt

Chapter 12, Part 4: Joe

Word Count: 1700 words.

Sorry it's late, but the next ones are coming soon. I'm just editing some stuff. Hope you don't mind.

Joe turned into Rosewood Lane late afternoon. Saturday night had been rough and he may have had a little (about an entire bottle more than he should have been) too much to drink and he had spent all Sunday sleeping it off. But, it was a new week today. He’d sobered up and he couldn’t wait to get back to work and forget all about saturday night.

He stopped before the iron gate. Two guards stood on either side, armed with guns, looking at Joe in his car.

Rosewood Lane: the suburbia away from the suburbia, a paradise for the uber rich with around the clock security and state of the art surveillance. Every resident was guaranteed their privacy and safety. Joe could barely stomach the thought of having to live here. He wasn’t even inside yet and he could already see their smug faces in front of his eyes, looking at him as the outsider, someone who didn’t deserve to be among them, someone less than. It made Joe’s blood boil just thinking about it.

He lowered his window and tapped the button labelled ‘1205: Justice, C’ on the stand next to the door.

Static returned from the speaker before a woman spoke in a cheery voice. “Who is it?”

“This is Detective Joe Vega from the Ellesburg PD and I had some questions for Mrs. Justice.”

“This is she. Questions about what, detective?” She asked.

“It’s about your husband.” Joe responded. The static cut out and the gears of the gate began to move.

Rosewood Lane stood on the opposite end of Athea, away from the river Daine, high above the rest of the city, like a literal pedestal for the uber rich, overlooking the people beneath them. Joe had never been inside before.

From the inside, the place looked even more like it was built on the backs of exploited laborers or in other words, rich. As Joe made his way to the Justice house, he couldn’t help but notice all the non-white people tending to — most likely not their own — gardens, cutting the trees, cleaning up the area. A few women sat outside, self tanning in the sun while a few children moved along the streets, playing their games, enjoying their tiny, sheltered worlds.

Joe wondered if these people knew what happened outside their little paradise up here or if they were just blissfully ignorant.

Joe found his way to the Justice house fairly easily. The big mansion stood intimidatingly, distinguishable even in the fake utopia that was Rosewood Lane. Just from the outside, Joe could see eight windows on the top floor and six long ones on the bottom, the door sandwiched between the three long windows on each side. It rose high up, higher than most other houses around it. It somewhat reminded him of the front of the white house.

Pulling into the Justice house’s driveway, the door to the house opened and a woman, presumably Mrs. Justice from the look of her clothes, stood in the doorway, as if she couldn’t wait for Joe to ring the doorbell.

He stepped out of his car and locked the car behind him as he walked up the stairs onto the front porch of the house.

“Mrs. Justice?” Joe asked.

She nodded. “Please, come inside.” She moved aside to let him in.

He walked in and she followed him, quickly closing the door behind her.

“You said you had some questions?” She asked nervously.

“Yeah.”

“Please, let’s sit in the living room.”

“Alright.” Joe said, following her deeper into what seemed like an endless stream of doors. The ivory walls of the house rose high, the large dome shaped skylight at the top blasted sunlight in, making them seem even more white. The walls were decorated with a variety of objects, most of what Joe assumed to be antiques of some sort and some family photos. Every frame was golden, perfectly machined and manufactured, just like the pictures in those frames. Flawless. A disgusting image. A facade to show the world how perfect their family was. Joe suspected that was anywhere near the case.

The whole house was smattered with objects that brought some contrast to the stark white. If he wasn’t human, some onlooker would probably say he was the most contrasting thing there.

All the white around him was almost intimidating. Unblemished, untouched, pure. But he couldn’t let himself get distracted. He had a job to do.

“Right in here.” She said, opening a set of two large doors into a large open living room that screamed minimalist. No decorations, no frills. The only furniture was the sofas and some lamps beside them on tiny coffee tables. Two extremely comfortable looking alcoves separated by the TV on the wall decorated the rest of the room aside from the table in front on the sofa. In the bottom right corner of the room stood a tiny bookcase, all on its own, almost a distraction from the rest of the room’s minimalism. Sunbeams flooded the room from the alcove windows as Joe and Mrs. Justice sat down on the sofa. It was so quiet that the rubbing of Joe’s jeans against the white leather as he adjusted in his seat was the loudest sound in the room.

“So, Mrs. Justice—” Joe began.

“Please, Jessica is fine.”

“Alright, Jessica.” Joe took out his recorder and placed it on the glass table in front of him, turning it on.

“Please state your name for the record.” Joe said.

“Uh, this is Jessica Justice.” She said hesitantly. “What is this about, Detective?”

“Ma’am, I’m sorry but I’m afraid I have some bad news. It’s about your husband.”

“Oh god.” She gasped, covering her mouth with her hand and looking away. “He’s dead, isn’t he?”

“I’m afraid so.” Joe said quietly, nodding.

“When did it happen?” She asked, choking up.

“A few days ago, we just got the full autopsy this morning confirming it’s him.”

Really, by protocol, Joe should’ve informed her two days ago when he actually got Carson’s address and confirmation from Jeanie that it was actually Carson but he doubted Jessica would know that and other things had actually held him up.

“How…” Her voice was shaky. “How did he die?”

“Someone hit him with something really hard.” He took a breath. “And then buried him in Shadow Woods, near the border of Tenebris and Ellesburg.”

“Oh god.” She stood up.

“I know this might be a lot to take in…” Joe said calmly. He had always hated this part. Not because it was hard but because it was messy. Even after all this time, he’d never figured out exactly how to console the people. And he loved his job but god he hated being the messenger of news like this and being put in this position.

“What are your questions, detective?” She turns, wiping tears from her face.

“Well, I was just wondering when you last saw Carson.”

“I think it was August the 30th?” She sat down again. “He had a habit of disappearing for days without contact.”

“Is that why you didn’t report him missing?”

“Yes.” She sniffled, nodding and wiping another tear.

“And do you know of any enemies he might have had or anyone who hated him?”

“Detective, my husband was a rich man, practically everyone hated him or was jealous of him for some reason. But I can’t think of anyone in particular.”

“Alright. Just a few more questions and I’ll be out of your hair. Where were you on the night of September the third?”

“Was the night when he—”

“Yes, that’s what we’re assuming so far.” Joe said softly.

“I think I was here all day.”

“You didn’t leave the house all day?”

“No.” She shook her head.

“Anyone that can corroborate the alibi?”

“Our maid, Kelly. And the security cameras in the house. Carson had them installed when we first moved in.”

“All right, then. Just get me the info for Kelly and that footage and I’ll be out of your hair.”

“Of course.” She sniffled.

“Actually, could I get the whole footage from when you last saw him?”

“Of course. I think the entire last month is backed up on his computer in his study.”

“Fantastic. And that’s it, Jessica. If I have any more questions, I’ll let you know.”

Joe turned off the recorder and stood up.

“Detective,” She stopped him, “When can I see him?”

“I can arrange for a visit tomorrow morning, if that works.”

“Thank you.” She whispered, turning away. “Come on, I’ll show you to the study.”

Joe followed her out of the room and through more hallways before they arrived at the study.

The study was the entire opposite of the house. Wood everywhere. Real wood, as far as Joe could tell. The walls were decorated with the same frames as the rest of the house and a desk stood in front of the only window in the room.

“Is this hardwood?” Joe asked, looking at the floor.

“Yes.” Jessica replied, walking over to the desk. “Here. Here’s the computer.” She pointed at a small metallic enclosure sitting on the desk next to a monitor.

Joe walked up next to her. “Is it on right now?”

“I think so. It should be.”

“Alright, well I can’t take it with me but I’ll send some people over to collect the evidence. Would that be alright?”

“I suppose so. Well, here’s Kelly’s info then.” She grabbed the stack of post-it’s on the desk and a pen and scribbled down Kelly’s phone number and address. “That’s where you can reach her.”

“Thank you, Jessica. I appreciate the help and the cooperation.”

“Of course, detective. Well, you know your way out.” She said, putting on a happy face.

“That I do.” Joe said, walking away, leaving the woman alone. He had other places to be.

#writing #writeblr #writblr #creative writing #original writing #excerpts from my writing #excerpt #wip #a year at the opera #ayato

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thequietmanno1 · 5 years

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Thelreads, MHA 163, Replies Part 2

1)“Poor Todoroki, finally breaking out of his shell and trying to connect with others, and who was the one that he was paired with? Fucking Bakugo.”-If anything, Todoroki’s perfect for getting paired up with Bakugou in a friend-making scenario- like Kirishima’s too thick-skinned to let any of Bakugou’s insults affect him and sees the good intentions behind his words, Todoroki’s too cold and even-tempered to get riled up by bakugou’s explosive temperament and just lets it all slide off him whilst striking up causal conversations- it helps that he’s so socially awkward that he doesn’t really approach conversations that same way as most other people do- again, the whole ‘no-childhood’ thing- so eve of Bakugou’s getting rude or offensive, it doesn’t really affect Todoroki. It’s metaphoric of Bakugou’s entire problem with Todoroki in the sports festival- no matter what he does, he just can’t get Todoroki fired up and engaging with him the same was as anybody else would and that just further riels him up, but at least he gets to vent a little this way.

2)“Oh god, Present-mic, please stop poking the dynamite-boy, lest you want to clean up the mess.”-Actually, I think Present-mic would probably just blow Bakugou and his explosions away with a shout- dunno how the concussive force of his voice compares to Bakugou’s sheer force, but he’s defiantly got some serious punch in his voice beyond deafening any poor sod too close to hear him

3)“THAT’S NOT “EXTREMELY POWERFUL”. THAT’S “FUCKINGHELLSHIT THAT GUY IS A FUCKING MONSTER”. JESUS CHRIST”- so… just to point out, but even at 100% full Cowl, Midoira would have to struggle to inflict that much damage without hurting himself, and from the way Gran Toriano’s talking, it seems Giganto didn’t even strain himself blowing up the side of a mountain- Midoria’s gotta hit the weights hard and fast, or he’ll be a smear on the ground when this guy enters the main story

4)“How the fuck do you even lose a thing that big?

Stupid question, I know. He probably was ways of camouflaging himself, or changing sizes.”-Simple, you leg it very, very fast in the opposite direction and pray to whatever deity you believe in that it doesn’t find ‘you’- but yeah, there’s actually a hint or two that he can manipulate his size- when he appeared in Kirishima’s flashback he was about 8-9 feet tall, but when he shows up to attack Gran Torino and the cleanup crew he’s about level with those coniferous trees- plus it explains how somebody so hulking like him can manage to move around something like an urban environment without immediately alerting the heroes- gotta feel bad for that hero office he visited in the past….

5)“This… This already is a little bit awkward. Endeavor said some pretty normal stuff, but in such a dramatic and intimidating way that it borders on comical.”-Endeavour basically has batman-level social skills whislt in costume- he’s so brash and upfront and maintains a dignified, intense aura of a hero ready for action all the times- which gets awkward when he’s placed into situations when he doesn’t have to be so uptight, but he’s spent so long trying to beat All might by being the perfect hero 24/7 that he doesn’t know ‘how’ to unwind and relax in front of others anymore.

6)“HOLDY THE FUCKITY I THOUGHT SHE WAS DEAD”-Given how time-based Toga’s powers are, and the fact that she was basically pulling that impersonation for giggles unsupervised and unsupported by her fellow league members, it actually makes sense for her to have pulled a Mad-Eye Moody scenario on Camie, keeping her alive and her heart pumping blood for her to suck to help her maintain her disguise- it was stated that she’d been acting weird for at least ‘3’ days, so Camie’s blood would have been in danger of running out before then if Toga had just slit her throat and put a bucket under the wound- makes more sense of her to kidnap Camie and keep her alive somewhere secure so she can ‘top-up’ her supply every day when she needs to, though that means Camie’s acting awfully chipper for somebody who basically got body snatched for three whole days and ‘nobody’ noticed anything was seriously wrong with her until Toga was done with her.

7)“WILLY IS BACK!”-One of Gang Orca’s favourite pastimes is recreating that ‘leap the barrier’ scene from the film, except it’s just him shorukening some poor villain shmuck in slo-motion over his head

@thelreads

#bnha #my hero academia #chapter replies #mha163 #thelreads

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lizziehatter · 5 years

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A Private Celebration - Cressworth *NSFW*

Thomas and Audrey Rose have officialy become engaged, and there is a grand dinner in the Wadsworth estate to celebrate it. However, they can hardly exchange any words alone during it and decide, with a little help from Liza, to have their own private celebration. Very NSFW. My masterlist can be found here.

Outside the windows of Thornbriar, the rain is pouring and lightning striking. It would normally create quite a gloomy atmosphere but on this particular day I am involved in such a cloud of blissful happiness that nothing could ever be bleak. Thomas and I are officially engaged. My head is still wrapping itself around that fact and sometimes it still feels like a dream. But whenever I turn my gaze to find Thomas’ across the table, I see that same boundless joy reflected in his eyes and I know this is real.

We are having a dinner to celebrate our engagement and all our families - Liza, Aunt Amelia, father, Uncle Jonathan and Daciana - are here. Even Thomas’ father has come, and while he is a cold and insufferable man, not even he is able to quell the happiness of this day. I feel a small pang of sadness thinking of those that aren’t present. I think of my mother, of how I long for her to be able to give me advice and help me get dressed into my wedding gown. And of Nathaniel, not the monster he became, but my loving older brother who I still miss. Sometimes I feel guilt over missing him. But my mind has too many memories of him, of the love and happiness that it just refuses to fully reconcile this Nathaniel with the darkness that engulfed him. Only now, these wounds are more thoroughly healed, and the pain no longer drowns me as it once did. I can more easily move on from the sadness and feel the joy of this day again. Thomas seems to have noticed my brief moment of sadness, and his eyes carry tenderness and a silent question as they meet mine.

“Is everything alright?”

In that sweet moment, I am reminded once again of how much I love the man in front of me. How I have given myself to him completely. We are both whole on our own but together we are better, stronger; we can support each other through anything. I give him a smile that extends to my entire body, a smile that carries all the joy I feel in knowing we will get to build a life together. If my love for him was not already limitless, the smile he gives me in return alone would make it so. For that moment, we are lost in our own little universe, unaware of all other people in the room, sharing all the promises our life will bring.

*****

The weather has somehow managed to become even more menacing by the end of the dinner. Thomas, Daciana and their father couldn’t possibly make the journey back to their estate without risking a serious accident. Some concessions will have to be made to what society dictates is proper regarding an unmarried couple spending the night in the same house. Aunt Amelia ordered for rooms to be arranged for the Cresswells at the opposite end from where my chambers are. She and Liza will also be sleeping in the room connected to my own.

I move closer to Thomas so I can wish him goodnight before we need to separate. Being officially engaged, it isn’t scandalous anymore for us to hold hands, a small blessing I thank profusely as I move one hand to intertwine with his. Even through my gloves, I feel heat spread on my body. Judging from the intensity in his look, he probably feels it too. Our engagement also means we will be allowed a little time to talk somewhat privately before someone came over to join us, silently announcing that this was the time limit for privacy propriety dictated.

“Tell me once again, Wadsworth” Thomas turns to face me; resting those golden flecked brown eyes on mine, his gaze so intense it could burn down worlds. “Tell me this is real and not a dream, that I can truly call you my betrothed and we’ll be spending our lives in the company of each other. I need to hear it one more time because against all evidence that supports it, my brain refuses to believe such happiness can be real.”

Though I’m facing the same struggle, I tell him the words, because maybe they will help convince me too. “This is the reality, my love.” I move to hold both his hands in mine and can’t hold back a smile, which I see reflected in his own face. I once feared marriage could be a cage, but I know now that with Thomas it could never be so. “We are betrothed.” I place a delicate kiss on his lips and take the opportunity to whisper in his ear the words I would like to say a thousand times “I love you, Thomas Creswell, and it is permanent.

”Thomas wraps his hands around my waist and pulls me gently to him. I know that despite the apparent privacy, we are being carefully watched. Still, I am willing to stretch the borders of propriety a little, and I lay my head on Thomas’ shoulder, revelling in the perfection of this moment. So quietly I am certain only I can hear, he says “And I love you, my dearest Audrey Rose.” It is but a simple statement, no playfully flirtatious tone in it, no smirk accompanying the words. I know this is the side of Thomas only those he truly holds dear gets to see, and this knowledge warms my heart more than any other words he could have spoken. I wish we could stay this way forever, wish that we didn’t have to part soon lest we caused Aunt Amelia to die from shock. As if also knowing this was exactly what her mother was likely to do, Liza approaches us and I use all my self-control to move away from Thomas’ embrace.

Liza gives us an apologetic smile. “I am sorry for not being able to give the two of you more time, dear cousin and Mr. Creswell. But if I might say, you two are being quite the scandalous pair today.” Her smile now turns mischievous, as if in fact she is proud of our boldness. “Mother was truly about to come over here herself after noticing you didn’t seem inclined to part from that embrace. I figured I would be the lesser evil, really.”

“Oh dear Liza, you are definitely much preferred. I am afraid Aunt Amelia might scold Thomas, me, or both of us and it would certainly not be a nice way to end this evening.” I hold her arm in mine, to show how truly thankful I am that she is my best friend in this world.

“It definitely would not be fun at all to be scolded, so I too should thank you.” Thomas says, playfully.

“You are very much welcome, my future cousin. And there is one more little thing I want to do for you two. I feel it is my duty to inform that my mother has drank far too much wine to do anything other than sleeping soundly all night. And as for me, I sleep like the dead.” She gives us a little wink at her pun, mirth spreading all over her face. Despite appearing to be the perfect society young lady, Liza love testing the boundaries of what would be an acceptable behaviour. And I loved that about her. “Certainly, neither one of us would notice if your door opened, Audrey Rose. Or if there was any kind of sound coming from your chambers.” I can feel my cheeks burning at the boldness of such a statement. Liza just smiles a charmingly devious grin, and adds “Just as an extra caution, the connecting door keys could also mysteriously disappear for this night.”

At the scandal of her suggestion, I am certain my face has become even redder. Yet my heart is thrilled by this prospect. Wasn’t having a private moment with Thomas exactly what I had been wishing for all evening? This dinner was meant to celebrate a decision that would shape our lives forever, it signed that there would be a time when we no longer had any restrictions in expressing our love. And yet, we had barely managed to exchange any words alone.

As if reading my thoughts, Liza spoke. “Really, you both are the two people most emotionally involved in this and you have barely had the chance to exchange more than a couple words without interruption. So if I were you, Mr. Cresswell and dear cousin, I would take this opportunity to have a celebration where you could actually talk and act freely.” She looked around the room, most likely checking if her mother had already taken her attention away from us now that me and Thomas were not alone anymore. “I will move away for a little bit, to give you some privacy. Please think about what I just said.” With that, she went a little away from us, joining Daciana in a conversation, but still being close enough that it was not inappropriate. I turned to face Thomas, deciding to do the brave and bold thing tonight. “I … I think Liza is right and … we should do it. Have a celebration to ourselves, I mean.”

*****

I am pacing around my room, wondering whether Thomas will actually dare to come. I wonder why my maid has not come to dress me for the night yet. Wonder if Liza has something to do with it. I let out a small laugh, for I am quite sure she does.

When I hear a knock on the door, my heart immediately starts hammering in my chest. I open the door and see Thomas, carrying a bottle of wine and two glasses and looking like he is the happiest person in the universe. I immediately pull him inside and scan the corridor nervously, checking if anyone could have seen him. Mercifully, there is no one outside.

Thomas puts the wine and glasses on the table and starts talking. “Wadsworth…” he pauses for a while, and I see that he’s struggling with words, a trait I know only comes up when he wishes to discuss more emotional feelings. “I don’t even have words to express the extent of my happiness to know I will be spending the rest of my days with the woman of my life, because nothing I could say would do it justice.” As he says this, he takes my hands and slowly pulls me to him, locking me in an embrace. I lay my head in his chest and smell the now familiar scent of coffee and cologne, which my heart associates with safety and love.

Thomas hugs me closer and bends over a little to speak in my ear. “And while the grand dinner was extremely entertaining, I too think Liza is very much right, and this moment warrants a somewhat more… private celebration. And I knew you had already said you wanted it too, but still I’ve been pacing in my room for half an hour thinking whether I should do this or not. In the end I decided that you would not consider me any more of a scoundrel than you already do at my complete disregard of gentlemanly manners. So I would like suggest that we open some wine, toast to our brilliant future together, perhaps share a kiss or two.”

I move my head a little bit away from his chest so I can look at him. “Just to make it clear, are you proposing we drink wine, alone in my room, at this very improper hour, and then engage in indecent behaviour, Creswell?” I tease him, while also thinking I truly have no objection to this plan at all, and he knows it. “Oh dear Audrey Rose, of course not. I only meant one or two chaste kisses. We have just got your father’s blessing for our engagement and I would like to stay in my future father in law’s good graces. I highly doubt behaving inappropriately with his daughter would help me with that.” Despite his words, his eyes carry a mischievous spark that indicates the idea has also crossed his mind. “However” he continues, confirming thoughts of indecency had indeed been in his head “I might be willing to change my mind if said daughter wishes to engage in a bit of debauchery. I know this is a very likely possibility since I am, after all, hard to resist.” He says it while looking me straight in the eyes and watching my reaction. And I know that it isn’t just a humorous remark, it is Thomas’ way of checking that I am absolutely okay with his being here. Of making sure I am consenting to a kiss or maybe more than that. And I definitely am. My heart and my body had willingly given themselves to him a long time ago.

I return his look and answer, while walking towards him and slowly trailing my hands up his arms “The daughter in question very much wishes to partake in an evening of drinking and debauchery with the man she loves the most in this life. “And Thomas, I…” I struggle to put my thoughts into words. But I need to find a way to say this. After all the suffering our miscommunication has caused Thomas I no longer want to leave anything unclarified. “I am also deliriously happy. All day today, I’ve felt like I am living in a dream, because I don’t know how else so much happiness could exist inside me. I love you. I feel like saying it a thousand times because it’s the only way I believe these little words could actually describe how I feel. I love you, Thomas Creswell, and I am wholly yours, body and soul, from this day on and for all my life.”

Thomas stood quiet for a while, just looking at me, his brown eyes filled with joy. It makes my heart ache to think that one day I had made those eyes be filled with sadness instead. We had already had a painful but necessary conversation about the events on the Etruria. Though Thomas had forgiven me, I wonder if I’d ever be fully able to forgive myself. As if sensing the feelings that are wandering in my mind, Thomas gently brushes one hand along my cheek. “Today is not a day for thinking of our hardships, Audrey Rose. All the trials we have been through, the communication issues and the heartbreak, we faced them and we remained together. Today is the day we should celebrate all the good things that are to come.”

At that moment, I am left yet again wonderstruck by how much I love him. When he speaks to me like this, it feels like the world is comprised of just the two of us and our love, as vast as the universe. A sharp pain in my legs, now common whenever I am standing for too long, returns my conscience to reality. I move to sit on the chair by the table where the wine stands, opening the bottle and pouring it on the two glasses. Thomas sits on the other chair and I hand him one glass.

“I propose a toast to our future together.” I say, getting my glass and holding it up. “To this love that’s as great as the distance to the stars. To trust, partnership and the joy I feel in knowing I will wake up beside you every day.” Thomas opens a grin that could light up the world. “To the amazing Cressworths, partners in life and science.” He says, clinking his glass with mine. We both sip the wine and I can’t help smiling as well.

We talk about our families, share fun stories from our childhood, discuss our favourite books and even some autopsy cases, as the night unravels around us. The knowledge that Liza has indeed locked the door that leads to the connected room, the wine we are drinking and the trust and ease I feel around Thomas slowly take away my tension and the fear of us being discovered. We sit in an atmosphere of complete ease around each other, comfortable even in the moments of silence. I find myself thinking what it would be like to be able to share moments like these every day. This thought, of getting to spend my life with him, makes me feel like I was walking among stars, inside the universe Thomas had once painted for me, because it is completely beautiful and mesmerising. It makes me want to forsake all propriety and just jump into his embrace until all I can feel and smell and see is him, and the sweet haze the wine is slowly causing in my brain does no favours to my self-control. “Wadsworth, I’ll ask forgiveness in advance for my ungentlemanly remark, but when you stare at me like that, like you wish to devour me whole, it makes it so much harder to not do something completely indecent.” Thomas says with a fire in his eyes. God help me, I am completely lost by that look. Damn society, damn whatever roles are expected of recently engaged couples, damn what anyone would think of it. I get up from my chair and place myself in Thomas’ lap, wrapping my hands around his neck, and just saying what I want without holding back. “Then by all means, let’s not control ourselves anymore. I love you, I want you and I see nothing wrong with that.”

I crash my lips against his and run my hands all over his back. He returns the kiss just as intensely, one hand wrapping around my waist and the other tangling itself in my hair. One small part of my brain registers Thomas is removing my hairpins, letting my curls fall freely on my back. All the other parts are completely surrendered to the fire slowly engulfing me. Thomas’ fingers move to the laces of my dress, but stop hesitatingly. I slowly break our kiss and move my mouth to whisper in his ear “You may absolutely continue what you were going to do, Creswell. There is nothing I want more than to be free from this dress.” If I am being honest with myself, there are actually a few things I want more. But getting to them involves losing the dress, so they are really one and the same.

“Impossible as it seems, I love you even more when you are so bold, Audrey Rose. Do feel free to do it more times.” he says, as he gently lifts me from his lap. Carefully, he turns me around and starts working on the laces, at an agonizingly slow pace for my burning body. He places a kiss on my neck and I feel a surge of electricity from head to toe. When he is done unlacing it, I remove my arms from the sleeves and let the bodice fall to the floor. He continues his work, dutifully helping me remove my over and underskirts, and the ridiculously long bustle I am wearing with them. Whenever his hands graze my body, even though it is through the fabric, I melt a little in anticipation. I step out of the skirts and of my silk shoes, pushing then under the table to get them out of the way, and turn to face Thomas.

Now I am only wearing my corset, chemise, drawers and stockings. It’s still many layers, but just the fact of standing in front of Thomas in a state of undress is intoxicatingly intimate. He looks at me with such wonder and adoration it is as if I am the queen of our own universe. “You’re beautiful, Audrey Rose” he speaks softly, his words a caress in my skin.

I can’t hold myself back anymore, not when I see all the love and desire present in his eyes. Not when his words and his adoration make me love and want him even more than I already do. I move my lips to his again and both of us get lost in the sensation of our embrace. All the universe is forgotten and consists only of our tongues touching, our hands wandering from hair to face to back, like some sort of furious yet loving dance that gets us both stumbling across the room. We only stop for brief moments, to unlace my corset, to take off Thomas’ jacket, to remove my drawers. Somehow we reach my bed and Thomas lies down while I sit on top of him, straddling his lap. He pulls me down gently to whisper in my ear. “You have no idea how much I adore how scandalous you’re being today, Wadsworth.” There is a playful teasing in his tone and a raggedness in his breath that show me just how much he adores it. And by God, I love it just as much, and if loving too much will condemn me, then so be it.

He starts moving his hands up my legs, in a deliriously slow pace, which makes it difficult to gather enough rational thoughts in my brain to form a reply. Perhaps it’s the wine, or perhaps it’s the intoxication of the moment itself or just simply the fact that my brain cannot register anything but him, but my answer is even more daring. “Trust me, Cresswell, I know just how much you loved my scandalous behaviour.” I slowly move my mouth along his jaw and whisper in his ear. “In fact, I can feel it now, since we no longer have all the layers of a dress separating us.” I accompany the last statement by moving my hips slightly, which elicits a moan from Thomas and sends a jolt of pleasure all up my spine. I long, no, I need to see more of him. My hands move to the buttons of his shirt, slowly pulling each one of them open. When I am done, I take a minute to restrain myself and not immediately run my hands all over his torso. I want to just look at this wonderful boy that I love with all of my heart and all of my soul. He is almost painfully handsome, like something made by gods, like the Greek sculptures at museums.

No longer managing to stand still, I lay a hand just over his pants’ waistband and lean down to place a light kiss on his shoulder. So many times I had wondered how his skin would feel under my hands. How the strong planes of his stomach would react if I placed kisses all over it. I waste no time before taking his shirt off of his arm and acting on these wishes. Thomas draws out small moans every time my lips touch his skin. I move my right hand slowly up his stomach, savouring that feeling which ignites a flame inside me. It seems Thomas feels the same way, for he pulls me to him, bringing his lips to mine with an urgent hunger that’s incredibly thrilling. We become locked in an embrace composed of fire, skin and electricity, each touch both satisfying and igniting our desire.

Without breaking the kiss, Thomas rolls us around so that he is now lying on top and I revel in the sensation of his weight over me. I wrap my legs around him using them to pull him closer, to drive his hips more strongly against mine and feel more of that incredible pressure building in my centre. I can feel that he desires me as much as I desire him and the thought that I can elicit such a reaction spurs a wave of pleasure so strong I can’t believe our bodies are not yet touching with no barriers between them. Thomas moves his hand under my chemise until it is resting on top of my stockings. He looks at me as if checking for approval at his touch, and I give him a small nod. At that, Thomas places a sweet kiss right above my knee as he slowly pushes each of the stockings down. He then traces the reverse path, kissing all the way up my legs, stopping a little longer on the scar at my thigh. I know he still feels responsible for it. I fear he will always be. But I would take a thousand more knife wounds if it meant saving his life, because I can no longer see my future without us both together.

Thomas’ tongue continues travelling up, erasing all thoughts of fear and heartbreak off of my mind, engulfing everything in a haze of desire. As he moves up, he also grabs the fabric of my chemise, pushing it up until it reaches my arms. I hold them up and he takes it completely off, leaving me bare before him.

Standing near Thomas like this, showing all of me, is as intoxicating as a drug. It speaks of trust, of desire and of a complete surrender. The intimacy of the moment hangs in the air around us, hangs in the way his golden brown eyes move over me with both tenderness and lust. I am not quite embarrassed at being undressed; I want this and feel the power of having made the choice to share this with Thomas. Nevertheless I can tell a blush is forming in my cheeks at the intensity of his gaze, at the novelty of this moment, at the excitement humming around us.

Ever observant, Thomas notices it and leans over me, one hand gently lifting my chin up so I am facing him, and later stroking my cheek. When he speaks, his tone is filled with such admiration that it completely washes away any small bit of self-consciousness I might be feeling. “Please never be embarrassed, my love. You are the most beautiful creature in this universe.” And if I wasn’t already completely his, I would become right now, seeing how much I mean to him.

He gives me a sweet kiss, bending more over me in other to do so. When I feel our bare chests touch, I am engulfed in a fire that has me turning the kiss into something more urgent, my hands moving all along his back. I feel it is too soon when he breaks it, but quickly forget it as he keeps placing kisses on my neck, then right above my clavicle and going slowly lower; while his left hand moves from my knee and up my thighs in a scorching trail. Not ever before have I felt this way; have I needed him so much. I think my desire can’t become greater, until his mouth reaches my nipple and he gently sucks on it, his hand stroking the other one. This sends a wave of pleasure crashing on my body and I release such a lustful sound I didn’t know I could make. Thomas takes this as an encouragement and increases the intensity of his explorations, and the feeling of his tongue on my skin becomes all my brain can focus on. Emerging among the haze of my brain, a need born of curiosity and desire has me moving my hand up his thighs, searching, exploring. When I slightly brush my hand against the bulge in his breeches I can feel Thomas’ breath catch against my skin.

“Audrey Rose, you don’t have to.”

“You” I say, though it’s hard to make the words come out between my accelerated breaths “are the sweetest and kindest person on the universe, you know that?” I give him a gentle kiss. “I know very well that I don’t have to, my darling Thomas, but I very much want to touch you. You have no idea how much I’ve wanted to do this, how many times I’ve imagined it.”

“You’ve… imagined me?” I notice again how this is a side of Thomas only I get to see. The Thomas that existed in public, his cocky and overconfident façade, would have teased me about thinking about him undressed. In here though, with just the two of us and no barriers, he is actually sweet and a little unbelieving that I had actually done it. But how could I not have, when my mind so often wandered off to think of him, of each little thing I loved and longed to explore and know? “Yes” I say, simply. “Haven’t you … imagined me?” He looks down before answering, looking almost …. guilty.

“Yes, I have imagined you. More times than I could count, and I felt bad every time it happened. I tried so hard to avoid it. I keep thinking I have no right, because you are a person and I have no right to sexualise you for my pleasure.” Oh my sweet, darling Thomas. How could he feel bad for such a thing? Didn’t he know I would gladly allow him to imagine me always, to desire me always? For so long we’ve known each other now and there are still parts of him I didn’t imagine existed.

“Well, I want to ask you something then, Thomas.” Softly, I put a hand on his shoulder to move us both so I can stand on my knees, facing him. Then I take his hand and place it on the outside of my thigh, laying my hand just on top of it. “Next time you are thinking of me, imagine the feeling of caressing my skin likes this.” I move both our hands up my leg, slowly, savouring every moment. “Don’t ever feel bad about desiring me, because you should know I desire you just as much. The way I see it, thinking of me for your pleasure does not in any way diminish me as a person. On the contrary, it’s part of our very human nature that we are attracted to each other.” Thomas is so unusually quiet, as if completely focused in this moment, in my words and in his hand on my skin. The intensity in his eyes, though, shows a glimpse of the usual unrest of his mind, always with a thousand thoughts going through it. I hope my words will be engraved in his mind always, because I don’t ever wish him to think this could ever be wrong. I now move his hand higher up, until it reaches my breast. “Imagine the feeling of my breasts; imagine the sounds I make when you touch me this way. You can imagine every part of me, Thomas. You can even imagine ...” I get his hands and lead them between my legs, hardly believing that I am actually being this forward. But I need to feel his touch as much as I want him to know I truly mean it when I say he can think of all of me “ ...the feeling of your fingers entering me, the wetness in here that’s only for you”. Thomas’ finger inside me is making it harder to concentrate now, making it hard not to collapse into only moans of his name. I concentrate all my efforts to finish my line of thought, and move my mouth to whisper in his ear. “Promise me that, when you think of all of this, you will remember you have my absolute permission. Remember I feel not diminished but honoured to have you desiring me in such a way, because I know you love me Thomas, as I love you, and I trust you with all that I am.”

He is now pumping his finger slowly, while using another finger to massage my clit, and I can no longer form any phrases. I just lose myself in the sensation of this moment, how I love the wave of pleasure starting to build up inside me. Without breaking our contact, Thomas lays me down again and brings his lips to mine, the kiss harder and more urgent than any we ever shared before. The effect of all these sensations combined on my brain has me feeling as if all the world, logical thoughts and words have ceased to exist; and everything resumes in me and Thomas, skin touching skin in a fiery embrace. He breaks our kiss only to continue placing kisses on my neck, on my collarbone, my breasts and each time lower, the path he’s making lighting my skin on fire.

He finally reaches the place I crave his touch the most and nothing could ever have prepared me for the feeling when he replaces his finger with his tongue, sucking around my knot. I can’t control myself and say his name in the form of a moan, my hand moving to tangle itself in his messy curls, my fingers curling with pleasure. He stops briefly and both his words and the vibration of his lips against my sensitive skin nearly take me over the edge.

“I adore it when you moan my name like this, my love, and I hope to cause it to happen many times more today.” He immediately returns his tongue to my clit and I am not sure what my answer to his remark is. The closest thing that resembles a phrase I can think of is “Oh Thomas, yes”, and I can’t tell if I say it in between my moans.

Thomas adds another finger inside me, pumping slowly at first so I can adjust to it. Then he gradually increases the rhythm, his fingers so perfectly long that they can reach just the right spot, while his tongue licks and sucks on my folds intensely but carefully, as if he wants to savour every inch of me. With every touch, I feel a surge of electricity go through my body and increase my desire, making me grab the sheets and arch my hips up. We are still new at this, still finding our own rhythm and knowing each other, but even this search is thrilling. Thomas is constantly checking how I like it, wanting to make sure I am thoroughly satisfied. And as damned as I might be for it, I am, so very much.

I once thought kissing him was the highest pleasure I could feel, but this, this was even greater. The waves of pleasure are crashing over me more frequently now, building up until I feel an overwhelming need to have his tongue touch me so close to where it is now, but not quite there. It’s as if all the tension accumulated inside me has been gathered in that point, needing to be released. I don’t quite manage to say the words, but my body seems to have a will of its own and I arch my hips to the left. This draws Thomas’ attention. He lifts his head and gives me an inquisitive look.

“It was just…” I pick up my courage and say it with honesty “if you just move your tongue slightly to your right … it would be …” I can’t keep going, because Thomas has already immediately obliged, while also pumping the two fingers that are inside me faster, and I could swear I was seeing stars. The tension begins to be released inside me, spreading from where Thomas is touching me until the tips of my fingers, a melody building up to its triumphant conclusion. He keeps up the pace of his sucking and when pumps a third finger inside me, I reach my climax, adrenaline and energy jolting through my body until I can’t form any coherent thought or remember another word that’s not his name, which escapes as a moan from my lips, over and over again. Thomas doesn’t remove his fingers or stops his ministrations until I have completely relaxed around him, feeling blissfully in peace and unable to do anything more than breathe in gasps. Then he moves up to lay by my side and I give him a smile that I hope conveys just how wonderful he is. I take his hand in mine and we lay side by side, until our breaths even. When I can speak again, I tell him one more time, hoping repetition will carve these words in his heart, will make him never doubt they are true.

“I love you. I love you more than anything, Thomas.”

He stares at me in a way that makes me think he is finally starting to believe. “And I love you too, my dearest Audrey Rose, my equal and my partner.”

I move my lips to his again, starting a soft kiss that slowly grows hungrier as our bare chests meet, as my legs tangle with his and I move my hands along his back, drawing him closer still. He rolls us both over and lies on top of me, placing kisses on my neck with one hand tangled in my hair and the other caressing from my knees up to my thighs. Where our bodies meet, I can feel how great his desire is, and this thought ignites another flame inside me. The need to touch him and fully see him emerges once more, and I move my hands between his legs until I can touch the bulge in his breeches.

Carefully, I stroke along all of his length, which elicits a series of low moans from Thomas. I marvel at how hard it feels to the touch and wonder if it doesn’t hurt against the confines of his pants. My hands move to undo his buttons while I whisper in his ear “I believe it’s only fair I have my turn as well.” This time he doesn’t object, and there is even a spark of mischief in his eyes as he speaks “And I would do anything to fulfil your wishes, my dearest, so I am more than happy to oblige.”

“Good.” I say, as I turn us so that now I am pinning him to the bed “You have absolutely no idea how much I want to touch you right now, Cresswell.” Softly, I graze my lips over his in the slight shadow of a kiss, moving my mouth lower to his neck and continuing to place soft kisses there “I want to kiss each and every part of you.” His skin feels amazing against my lips, simultaneously quelling and kindling my passion. My mouth is now on his chest, then at his stomach, never stopping teasing him. Thomas’ breathing is getting more and more uneven the longer I keep caressing him, and I feel like a queen at having the power to cause him to make the lustful sounds coming from his mouth right now. “But do you want to know what I want most of all?” I now kiss just above the bones of his hips, and I can feel his body shudder when I do it. It takes all of my self-control not to rip off his clothing and just take him in my mouth. I move both of us to sit on the edge of the bed, and then place my hands on the waistband of his breeches, pulling them out along with his drawers. I am wholly transfixed by the sight of him bare before me. I move my eyes all over him, taking every inch slowly, devouring and savouring all little details. The sight of his cock, stiff with his wanting, is almost enough to break me completely and send me over the edge. But I am enjoying teasing him way too much, and it’s not yet the time to fully indulge in my wishes. I give him a mischievous smile, while nudging his legs apart with my knee. Thomas has his eyes focused on me, his gaze so intense I can almost feel the fire that must be burning inside him. “What I want most of all, Thomas,” I get down on my knees in front of him and return the fire in his gaze “is to take you in my mouth, right now.” This has him losing it completely. “Please.” his voice comes out more as a moan “Please, Audrey Rose, just please do it.”

My heart is beating faster from the anticipation of finally touching Thomas, thrills of excitement going through my entire body. The feeling of being on my knees, but to be doing this of my own choice, it’s intoxicating. It’s like I am offering him all that I am, no barriers, no secrets. And my inquiring mind is ignited with the eagerness to know how he will feel against my lips.

Keeping my gaze locked in his, I take his cock with one hand and give a lick all along its length, savouring this new sensation; his skin hot and rigid against my tongue. Never having done this before, I let myself be guided by instinct, by desire and by Thomas’ reactions. I keep exploring him, slowly gaining confidence and eliciting a series of low moans from Thomas. I get a surge of brazen boldness and move my mouth to the tip of his cock, taking him in as deep as I can while wrapping my hands around what I couldn’t fit. Slowly at first, I start to work with both fingers and tongue, tracing circles with it around the tip. As I gradually increase my rhythm, Thomas’ breathing get more and more irregular and he tangles one of his hands in my hair, gently holding my head. I feel as if we are incredibly connected in this moment, somehow communicating without words so well that I can understand he is using the hand in my hair to indicate he likes the way I’m doing it. Our gazes never leave one another, keeping him and I existing in this small universe composed only of love, passion and trust, where the pleasure both of us are feeling is so intense it could burn down worlds. I am even more certain I want this forever, want him to be mine and me to be his for as long as we both shall live.

I start to move faster, my tongue tracing circles on the tip of his cock with even more intensity, which has him emitting such lustful sounds I never before heard him make. Sounds that I want to hear a hundred times more.

“This is incredible, my love. You’re incredible.” Thomas’ voice is husky with desire and I have never before felt so powerful and wanted. The thought of having the power to elicit such pleasure from him causes an indescribable feeling in my body. I love feeling like this. Love the fact that my touch can make him completely lose grasp of rational thoughts and drive him over the edge. I feel like a goddess, like a queen.

His hand caresses my hair with added intensity now, his moans louder and more frequent, interspacing all words when he speaks. “I am so close now, Audrey Rose”. There is no describing how much I adore hearing my name escape his lips as a moan. I keep up my pace, stroking and licking him, and notice he can barely hold himself together now. He comes with my name in his lips, the taste of his seed salty on my mouth.

I move my gaze to his, wanting him to see me as I swallow, and the feeling of having him on my tongue is so intensely arousing, so much stronger than I could have anticipated, that I can’t help a smile coming to my lips. Thomas watches me intently, his gaze so intense I swear I can feel it inside me. The adoration and passion I can see in his eyes tell me that he finds the idea of me being aroused with the feeling and taste of him as alluring as I do. He moves his hands to my waist and gently lifts me up, settling me on his lap. I place one arm around his neck to keep me balanced, as he softly traces my cheeks with his fingers. We stay this way for a while, our breaths the only sound in the room as they start to return to a normal state. Thomas is the first to speak, his words whispered into my ear.

“You are incredible, Wadsworth.” He spoke the next words accompanied by sweet kisses. “Stunning.” A kiss on my cheek. “Intelligent.” A kiss just below my ear. “Brilliant.” A kiss on my lips. “My love for you is so great I can’t ever hope to describe it. Every little part of you, body and mind, I love them all. To know that I will get to be with you every day, that you have chosen me, is the biggest happiness and the greatest honour.”

His words make me walk among the stars, my heart soaring as high as them, feeling like it has been warmed by the sun. For the love I feel is just as intense as his, the honour and happiness of one day being his wife just as great. I smile as I make a declaration of my own. “You are incredible and I am the luckiest girl to have you for me. All of you,” I start, my tone teasing to bring some levity to this moment “not just your body, though it is definitely a sight to behold.” He gives a little smug smile, joining me in my little quip. “But you are also sweet, caring, kind and someone that I would trust with everything that I am, always. And I love you; I’ve chosen you to give myself to. Don’t ever forget that, Thomas.”

I move my lips once more to his, kissing him intensely, fiercely, a kiss that contained all our love, all the stars, the immenseness of the universe and the promises our future together will bring. Thomas returns it just as strongly, but after a little while slowly breaks it and makes a move to get up from the bed. I know he needs to go, that all we have done is already utterly scandalous, that we’re not married yet and getting caught would result in an unspeakable scandal. But I don’t wish to let him go quite yet. I gently hold his hand in mine. “I think we can still risk you staying a while longer. Please.”

He looks at me with unguarded love and desire, and I know I have convinced him. “Wadsworth, you fiend. If we get caught, I am blaming you for corrupting my virtue. Though I must admit it is already not very pure to begin with.”

I roll my eyes at him. “Just kiss me, Cresswell.”

****

I wake up with the morning light on my face, my legs all tangled in Thomas’, and his arms around me. My whole body is pleasantly sore, and this feeling reminds me of all that happened last night and makes a smile come to my lips. I move a little bit and Thomas stirs and pulls me closer, still half asleep. I am not completely awake myself, because me and Thomas hardly slept at all, but my brain registers that this moment is perfect, and I wish I could stay this way with him forever, that there were no rules that kept us from being able to be together before our marriage. There is something wrong with that sentence and this scenario that I struggle to grasp in my sleep addled brain. When I hear a knock on the door, the wrongness hits me in the head like a brick: We are not married. Thomas did not return to his chambers. If we get caught, my reputation is lost forever; the scandal could ruin our families. I immediately give Thomas a frantic shake, saying as quietly as I can so no one will overhear me “Wake up, Thomas!”

He opens his eyes and opens his mouth to speak, but I put my hand in his mouth, while putting a finger in mine to indicate he needs to be silent.

“Someone’s at the door.” I say, a little panicked. “We ended up falling asleep, and it’s already day. We need to find a way for you to return to your chambers unnoticed. But for now, you need to hide, so I can answer the door.” Thomas nods, still a little sleepy, puts his clothes on and moves under my bed, which indeed seems like the only plausible option for a place where he would not be seen. I get dressed as well and do my best to look presentable; checking that none of the love marks on my skin is showing and hoping my lips are not too swollen. Heart racing, I open the door.

Liza and Daciana stand there, and the relief I feel almost makes me drop to my knees in thanks. They seem to notice my flustered behaviour, as Liza immediately says. “Good morning, dear cousin. Relieved to see it’s only us and not mother, are you not? Well, me and Miss Creswell came to make sure you will not miss your breakfast, didn’t we?” She gives a mirthful look to Daciana, who replies in a low tone that only we can hear. “That, and to keep my lovable idiot of a brother out of trouble once again.”

Liza looks into my room “Will you please invite us in, Audrey Rose. It is not very becoming to stay standing outside your door, and we won’t be able to actually talk until we’re inside.”

“You’re right Liza, I am sorry, please do come in. Both of you. I haven’t…” I feel a blush coming to my cheeks at what I will have to admit. “I haven’t slept much and I am afraid my brain is still not fully awake.”

Both girls come inside my room and I close the door behind us. I am mortified to have completely lost track of time and of consequences, but completely relieved we only got caught by Liza and Daciana and not by our other relatives.

“Thomas, you can come out of wherever you are.” Daciana says, so nonchalantly it would seem like we are simply discussing ball gowns and tea delicacies. “I just hope by God that you’re decent; for I do not wish to see you in your undergarments, much less in fewer clothing than that.”

“And seeing Mr. Creswell undressed may be a little too inappropriate even by my not very strict standards.” Liza chimes in. I blush redder than the curtains as Thomas comes out of under the bed, thankfully having fully dressed earlier.

“Good morning, dear sister and dear future cousin.” Thomas says with a smirk and such confidence it would seem he does this every day. I guess it’s a family trait to keep their countenance even in completely inappropriate situations. “I trust you slept well? I had the most wonderful night, though I must confess it was a little lacking in actual sleeping.”

“Thomas!” I give him a nudge on his arm and could swear this morning is probably trying to test what is the deepest shade of red my face can reach. “Can we please, please move out of discussing the events of yesterday evening?”

“Alright dear cousin, If it will keep you from dying from being so flustered, I guess we can all agree to refrain from discussing yours and Mr. Creswell’s little night time escapade.” Liza gives me a little playful smile that tells me she will do anything but once we’re alone. “Now let’s get going, mother is becoming worried you haven’t yet called for your maid to get you dressed for breakfast. And we need to find a way to get Mr. Cresswell out of here before his disappearance is also noted.”

“Worry not, Liza,” Daciana says while trading a conspiratorial glance with my cousin. I notice they are already on a first name basis and wonder how much these two have been talking. “The Creswell’s are expert on escaping getting caught doing what they shouldn’t. Although I must admit it seems too much love has addled your brain, Thomas.”

“Stuff it, Daci.” Thomas playfully throws a pillow at his sister. “Hopelessly in love as I indeed am; my mind is still just as brilliant.”

“So brilliant you fell asleep instead of returning to your chambers. Come on, I brought you a change of clothing more appropriate for the morning and with the great advantage of not being the same ones you were wearing yesterday.” Only now do I notice she’s carrying a bag, which she hands over to Thomas”

“You can get changed in my bathing chamber.” I motion in its general direction, still not quite managing to make eye contact with him for fear I will just completely turn the colour of a tomato. He quickly changes, and Daciana and Liza open the door and to check if the hallway is empty.

Taking the opportunity of this small moment of privacy, I take his hand and place a sweet kiss on his cheek, speaking so low only he can hear. “I can’t wait for the day you no longer need to leave in the morning.” He smiles, as radiant as the sun, and places a kiss on my hand. “I will be longing for it just as eagerly. Last night was … incredible. You’re incredible, and I love you.”

It takes no effort to return his smile just as intensely, because joy and anticipation are filling me in this moment. “And I love you, for all my life. See you at breakfast, Thomas.” With great difficulty, I let go of his hand.

“See you at breakfast, Audrey Rose. Try not to miss me too terribly.”

I roll my eyes at his comment. “I will do my best not to die from longing, Creswell.”

“Okay lovebirds, there’s no one outside, and Thomas really must go now.” Daciana’s words seep into our little moment, and Thomas gives me one last look before coming out the door.

As soon as they leave, Liza gives me a mischievous smile, and I just know I will not get away with going to breakfast before talking to her. She sits on the bed, giving little jumps of excitement and patting the mattress. “Now sit here and tell me cousin, was dashing Mr. Creswell as good with his tongue as he is with his deductions?”

*****

AFTER A MILLION YEARS, THIS IS FINISHED!!!

I am so very proud of this one. Also this is my first smut ever.

Thank you, @city-of-fae for that Thomas dialogue. And thank you, @amazingcressworthss for letting me borrow the idea of Thomas calling Audrey Rose “Beautiful, intelligent and brilliant”, because this is so perfectly him that I wanted so much to use.

I hope you enjoy it my lovely followers and friends!!

#cressworth #cressworth fanfiction #cressworth fic #Audrey Rose Wadsworth #Thomas Cresswell #stalking jack the ripper #sjtr #hpd #efh #ctd #capturing the devil #kerri maniscalco #smut #audrey rose x thomas #my writing

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