#b) you forgot about all the 500 other things to have happened to her to make her angry | Explore Tumblr Posts and Blogs

sierraraeck · 3 years

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Xena (Pt.1)

Aundreya Chambers

Masterlist | Series Masterlist

Summary: Her attempt to fix things leads Aundreya directly to one of her greatest enemies, and to some of her greatest friends. Story nineteen.

Category: Angst, but it’s basically just like Aundreya working a “case.”

Warnings: Cussing. There is a knife fight and someone gets stabbed.

Word Count: 3.5k

A/N: I know this one is a little Aundreya-centric, but we will get back to the whole squad in a moment. Also, if this means something to you, I want you to think Dauntless from Divergent as far as building and overall vibe.

I got a lead.

I was coming up on the end of month five of being on the run, and I finally had what I needed to put the final nail in the coffin. A location and leverage. But I wasn’t going to be able to do it alone.

“Deen?” I confirmed before he could even say anything.

“Alion-”

“Shh!” I hushed. I didn’t want my name on any cellular transcript or recordings. You could never be too sure. “Are they ready?”

“Yes,” he answered without hesitation. I could hear how giddy he sounded when he asked, “Now?”

“Now.”

# # # # # # # # # # # # #

I’d been away from my ring for far too long. They’d been in good hands with Deen, for sure, but I was itching to get back to them. I’d wanted to for so long, but it wouldn’t benefit anyone. If anything, I’d draw attention to us again, and we’d have to go on a temporary hiatus until things cooled down. And that was bad for business. But I guess so was having your leader away, not like that was the primary reason I was returning. Added bonus, maybe.

I showed up to the bookstore I’d come to adore, sneaking in the back door after dark. I moved soundlessly towards the “Employees Only: Storage” door in the back that opened up into a massive storage unit that we used for training. Normally, meetings are held in the back of a club and bar on the other side of town, but I wanted to make sure this was more discreet and unexpected.

The whole room was pitch black, and besides the one emergency light that faintly glowed above the center mat, I couldn’t see anything. I cautiously approached the light which was over 50 feet away, and the moment I landed right under it, the rest of the lights in the warehouse rapidly turned on. I was blinded for a moment but quickly adjusted, scanning the massive room around me. There were multiple stories in the warehouse, but they all opened up to overlook the first floor, where I was currently standing. Lining the walls and all of the walkways on the four stories up were filled with all of the members of my ring. All just standing there, in dead silence, staring at me. And it made me feel right at home.

I spread my arms out wide and did the most dramatic bow I could. When I looked up, I saw a couple faces smiling, and announced, “I’m back.”

Then all 500 or so of them started cheering. They were clapping and hooting and smiling, and I was laughing and basking in the feeling. Deen and his two new right hands approached me, dramatically clapping.

“Well, well, look who it is,” Deen said, shaking his head.

“Aww, did someone get too comfy on my throne?” I playfully sneered.

“I wouldn’t dare. You know I can do the whole ‘leader’ thing-”

“But it’s just not for you,” I finished, “Trust me, I know.”

“You say that like it’s a bad thing,” he arched an eyebrow.

“Speaking as the one coming from prison, I don’t think I’m qualified to judge,” I winked.

“As someone who’s escaped a supermax, I think that gives you more than enough qualification,” he said. He opened his arms and I rolled my eyes with a smile on my face as he pulled me into his infamous bear hug. When he let me go he asked, “You remember Mateo and Niko?”

“The twins?” I asked, looking over at the two of them, “Of course I do!” They were both tall, like 6’4” and they looked like two of the most ethereal people you could imagine. They had rich umber skin, shoulder length corkscrew coils, and brilliant smiles. Nearly everything about them was identical except for their eyes. Niko had almond shaped, black eyes, but Mateo had round eyes, one the same deep brown like his brother, the other a piercing ocean blue. “How could I forget them.”

“Well, they are my new right hands since…” Deen trailed off. Since Corbyn.

“Right, right,” I quickly filled in. They were both a couple years younger than me, 17 at the time they joined. No one knew anything about their background or why they were joining a ring, and they were vastly underestimated. Deen questioned what they could do for us since they weren’t an ‘expert’ in anything, but the first day of training changed that. They were both amazing fighters. They kicked everyone’s ass their age, and the two ages above them. After a week, they were training with everyone at the top, including me. Throughout that time, I got to know the twins very well, and Mateo and I became close. Like, close. He finally kissed me the night I got sent to prison, before everything went down. Of course, I was in there for four years, then came to camp out at the ring once I got out for a little while before going off to the FBI, so we hadn’t really talked about it or revisited it at all. Not like I was going to bring it up. We were great friends before that, and I didn’t really have time to deal with figuring that out.

I extended my hand to Niko, “It’s great to see you both again. How have things been with this guy,” I joked.

Niko accepted my handshake and replied with a smirk, “Oh you know, the usual bullshit. Him pushing us around, doing his dirty work and such.”

“Oh is he now?” I raised an eyebrow at Deen.

“Don’t look at me!” he said, eyes getting wider, “I know I’m a handsome guy, but these two just seem to get more done as the faces of our deals. I still can’t figure out why…”

I snorted, “Yeah, me neither.” Both boys suppressed a smile. I extended my hand out to Mateo, and before I knew it, I was on the ground. Instead of shaking it, he flipped me.

“Damn, okay,” I said, laying on my back and propping myself up on my elbows, “Hello to you, too.”

“You weren’t prepared,” he smirked down at me. Wanna bet?

I hooked my feet around his legs, reached up to grab his arm, and yanked him down to the right side of me. I moved one leg across his body, while the other still hooked the leg closest me, keeping it in place. I reached down with both hands and tugged lightly on that leg. “Snap! I just broke your leg.”

“Oh, sure. I wonder if you still got it in you,” he challenged. In response, I pulled harder, almost to the point of dislocation and he suppressed a wince. I stretched it just a bit farther for my own satisfaction, and he gave me what I wanted: three fast taps on the mat. An eruption of cheers echoed around us, and I almost forgot we still had an audience.

With that ego boost, I held him in that position and wondered, “Anything else you’d like to add?”

“No,” he said, releasing a sigh when I finally let him go. I got up, offing him a hand, which I was surprised he took.

I turned toward the rest of the warehouse and announced, “Thank you all for being here, and an enthusiastic, typical,” I shot Mateo a look, “welcome. We are going to discuss a few final logistics, then present you with the necessities. You are dismissed.” On cue, the lines of people broke up and started moving around. The four of us walked toward a small table in a more secluded corner office.

“Congratulations, brother,” Niko mused as we entered the room, “You’ve waited three years to finally beat her, and you failed.”

“Shut up,” Mateo hissed.

I had to laugh, “You always were one of the most competitive people I’d ever met. Good to see that some things never change. Including which one of us is better,” I winked.

Mateo huffed, “Yeah, and which one of us is still a bitch.”

“Ow, watch it,” I replied, “or maybe I’ll decide to really teach you something.”

“Oh I’m counting on it,” he smirked.

I mirrored the look but got back to business, “So are you all caught up on what’s happening?”

“Yeah, they know,” Deen spoke for the first time in a while, “Of course, they saw you when you came back for a little bit after the first prison break, and I filled them in on your deal with Archer. They know you’ve changed your mind about going through with it, and that Xena and DeLeon are back, and that you plan on killing them, framing Archer, and getting out alive without cuffs on.”

“That’s plan A at least,” I raised my eyebrows. I heard the door to the office push open, and spun around to see who it was.

“So what’s plan B?” a thin girl with long, shiny black hair questioned as she entered the room. I looked over at Deen for an explanation.

“She’s great with strategy and logistical planning,” he said, shrugging his shoulders.

“She’s new,” Niko jumped in. I slowly nodded.

She extended her hand to me with an introduction. “Roman.”

“Right,” I shook her hand, with a confused look on my face. I knew her. We’d met. Actually, she, Sydney, and I were very tight a long time ago. Once I took over the gang, she and I had a falling out. It was like she just disappeared, and she hated me for starting the ring and getting careless. She didn’t even check on Sydney’s family when she died. Needless to say, I knew who she was, and she knew who I was, so why wasn’t she acting like it? And last time I checked, she actually wasn’t that good at planning, granted I’d been away for a while, but can things change that drastically?

“There are a variety of things that can go wrong and too many variables, that’s why we are going to have to use as many top people as possible to control some of them,” I started. I didn’t really have time to figure out Roman, either.

“Right, like your team, Z and D, Archer, and the meeting place,” Roman graciously pointed out.

I tried to brush her off, “Exactly. Since I found Xena, I already sent her a message about meeting me, and I told her to come alone, but I’ll need someone to keep watch in case DeLeon shows up.”

“What did you tell her you had?” Deen asked.

“The one thing she can’t resist is information on her grandfather and why things ended the way they did. In my message, I let her know that I’d tell her everything I knew, and give her a letter he left for her that night.”

“Is that true?” Deen questioned.

I shrugged, “Mostly.”

“So what are the specifics?” Roman asked.

“I told her to meet me in the alley next to the old gym where I met her. My plan is to go inside so that there can be at least one or two other people in there for backup in case DeLeon shows up, and another outside for the same reason. I would then need people to track Archer and the members of the BAU and report back to Deen,” I offered.

“No way. I’m going to be there,” Deen insisted.

“No. You’ve been able to handle all of this organizational stuff for so long and you’re good at it. They need someone they trust to report back to, and I need someone I trust to keep track of all of the information,” I gave him a stern look, “That’s you.”

“Okay…” Roman looked deep in thought, “And how is he going to get the information to you? And what if one of our people gets caught by the FBI? I think they’ll be pretty good at recognizing if someone is following them.”

“Well logically-” I was cut off.

“You’re never logical,” Roman stated.

“Oh, so you do remember who I am,” I spat.

“How could I not?” she rushed on, dropping a stack of paper on the table with a thud, “Look, logically that is a terrible idea and never gonna work. Even in theory that doesn’t make sense. There are too many loose ends.”

“When have I ever worked logically? I’ve never worked logically and look how that’s worked out for me?” I thought for a moment and followed with, “Actually, that’s a bad example. What I’m trying to say is that what I’ve done has always gotten me out of situations like this. That’s all that matters, and I trust our people to be able to pull this off. Do you not?” I put both hands on the table and pushed aside a chair in my way with my feet, essentially inviting her to take a seat, and a step back, the legs screeching across the floor.

We stared each other down while the three boys exchanged looks. Mateo put his hands up in a surrender and slowly backed toward the door in a dramatic way. “Well while you two clamor around-”

“Hold up. I do not clamor,” I said with air quotes. Mateo just shrugged. “You do remember I am in charge, right? Like, I’m your leader and boss?”

Mateo stopped in his tracks and gave me a small smile, “Yeah, but, you’re a cool ring leader.”

I deadpanned and then turned to Deen and Niko, who just stood there. Niko acted like he didn’t care and Deen was clearly enjoying himself. “You’re all fired.”

“What? Come on! What did we do?” Mateo tried to act all innocent.

“My reputation of being terrifying and untouchable cannot be tainted by you running around calling me cool!” I let my hands fall to my thighs with a slap.

“Well can’t you be terrifying, untouchable, and cool?” Mateo asked with a sheepish smile. I pinched the bridge of my nose and sighed.

I glanced over at Deen, who now had a shit-eating grin across his face. “I mean, you are a cool ring leader.”

The corners of my mouth twitched up slightly as I agreed, “I am pretty cool, aren’t I?” I got collective nods around the room, except for Roman who looked like she’d rather die. “Okay, can we please refocus on the task at hand? And, at least for the next couple days, pretend like you actually are terrifying and untouchable like the rest of the world thinks?”

“Sure, I think we can manage that,” Mateo said, all too giddy as he practically bounced back over to the table. Not a good start.

“Jesus christ. You get together the most dangerous, elite criminals the nation has ever seen and they act like eager teenagers who just discovered porn for the first time. This is why we never get anything done,” I huffed, “Anyways-”

“How did we ever get anything done?” Roman asked, and it was the first time her face looked like it had an emotion besides analysis. Kinda reminded me of Hotch.

“You were less cool,” Mateo chimed in. I eyeballed him. “What, am I wrong?”

“Your face is about to be,” I raised my eyebrows.

For the next two hours, we kept going over variations of the plans and solidifying ways we could get out of them. Actually, it mainly consisted of me throwing out ideas, Roman rejecting them, and Deen and Niko occasionally finding ways to get over minor errors with each. Mateo was blissfully unhelpful as usual. Granted, he was the kinda guy that threw out a dumb idea as a joke, and having it actually be something we could use.

“And then we kill them,” I completed, satisfied with our work.

“Wow, Alionth, you really are brutal. I mean, does every plan have to end with death? Haven’t you ever heard ‘kill em with kindness’?” Mateo sarcastically asked, fluttering his eyes at me.

“Yeah, but just outright killing them is so much faster,” I gave him a wicked smile.

“Remind me why we all missed her again?”

I reached out to whack him over the head, “Remind me why I wanted to come back and work with him?”

“You know you love me.” Mateo flashed me that brilliant smile that crinkled his two different colored eyes. We were lucky that he kept the mood positive, even when he was more of a distraction than anything. But his stupid pretty face, and his identical brother’s, was bringing in more clients than ever, so what’re you gonna do?

“Mateo, I will kick you in the back,” I remarked.

“I always knew you liked it rough,” he jeered. I enjoyed our banter, but I was not going to let him make that comment without repercussions. Plus, I like our ‘physical banter’ as well, if you could even call it that. In one move, I swept him off his feet, flipped him over my hip, and he landed with a thud.

“That I do,” I laughed. I knew it was coming, so I let him pull me back to the ground with his legs tangled in mine. He was hovering over me before I could lock him in place, flipping us back over, so I was on top. I pinned him down and I felt him struggle against me for a moment before relenting. I was strong, don’t get me wrong, but he had at least six inches on me along with a healthy amount of muscle mass. He was stronger, and if he really wanted to, could’ve probably gotten out of my grasp, but he didn’t. He let me pin him. “You’ve gotten better. But I don’t ever want you give up like that again.”

“Yes, ma’am,” he whispered. I realized we were still in a very precarious position, me sitting on top of him with his hands pinned over his head, and I quickly stood up.

“Mateo, you need to stop,” Niko said, sending him a look only they could understand. They passed eyes for a few seconds, an entire indecipherable conversation no one else was privy to happening before Roman cleared her throat. Niko apologized, “Right, yeah.”

We got back to work and finally had a plan fully put together. “This is going to work,” I said, almost astonished. “I think we’ve covered just about everything.”

“I think you’re right,” Roman agreed. Finally.

“I just need you all to remember that you are also protecting them.”

“You keep saying that, but why should we care about them so much?” Mateo asked me. Deen hit him in the arm. “Sorry.” But his voice was anything but apologetic.

“Just do this for me please,” I pleaded, without trying to sound as desperate as I was.

“Yes of course,” Niko nodded. He was always so level-headed and loyal. Never pushed. Or at least not like his brother.

“And while I’m happy that everyone is here, not everyone can be involved in this. It’s delicate and needs to be handled with absolute perfection and I know not everyone is capable of that,” I acknowledged.

“We know,” it was Deen this time.

“And if it comes to it, you are protecting them first,” I proceeded. I held my breath, waiting for a reaction.

Then I got the one I was expecting. “What? We aren’t going to do that!” Mateo sounded betrayed.

As calmly as I could, I looked him straight in the eyes and commanded, “Yes you are.”

“No, no way! You are our leader. All these people need you,” he said, shaking his head.

“And the rest of the country needs them.”

“That doesn’t even make sense. I am not going to go along with this,” Mateo pushed away from the table and headed toward the door. I’d call him childish, but I knew his reaction came from a good place, and I couldn’t be mad at him for that.

I quickly followed, calling, “Yes you are.”

As he opened the door, I slammed it shut again, preventing him from leaving. He grabbed me by both of my shoulders and held me against the door, the knob digging into my back.

His eyes were wide and frenzied when he hissed, “No.”

“Yes,” I bit, venom in my voice. He flinched back slightly, and I reached up, hooking my hand behind his neck. I pulled him to me and whispered in his ear, “Please don’t make this harder than it has to be.”

“Or what?”

“You know what.”

“You wouldn’t,” I felt him shake his head, “Not to me. Not to us.”

“I’m telling you Mateo. I wouldn’t want to. It’d hurt me as much as it’d hurt you, but I would. That’s how important this is to me.” Despite my best efforts, my voice cracked. “I need you … and as a part of this operation.”

I could tell he noticed the emotion in my voice by the way he pulled back, looking me in the eyes, his much softer now. “Okay.”

“Thank you,” I released him from my grip, and he let me off the door. I turned my attention back to the group, “We have to make sure not to underestimate Z and D because there’s two of them and they are dangerous, especially together, so we have to be careful. There are plenty of things that can go wrong, and if we have to, we kill them. No matter what.”

Part 2

Series Taglist (open)

@justanothetfangirl @kris-stuff @blameitonthenight21 @wooya1224 @unded-bride @swiftingday @dezzxmx

#aundreya chambers #criminal minds fanfic #bau x oc #behavioral analysis unit #criminal minds fandom #criminal minds #cm #criminal minds fanfiction #bau

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supercalvin · 4 years

Note

breaking the rules but 5WR for the prompt thing? i was just thinking they went well together and you’d be able to do something crazy awesome with it :)

5. High School AU + W. Pretend Relationship + R. In Vino Veritas

There are no rules here, friend. You can do whatever you want, and I certainly love this combination of tropes+AU. Have I ever mentioned that High School AUs are a guilty pleasure of mine? Which is probably why this turned out so long. Omg why can’t I write 500 word ficlets anymore???

Prompts (or any prompt) + Ficlets

***

Lance had invited Merlin to this party, which was the only reason he was here. It wasn’t that hed didn’t normally go to parties. He did. It’s just he usually hung around a different crowd. Will’s parties were smaller, usually no more than ten kids sitting around his living room, staying up too late, playing video games, and maybe baking some of Freya’s weed into badly made brownies.

Lance, on the other hand, was the type of person to get along with a lot of different people. So not only was he close friends with Merlin, but he also happened to be friends with people in the drama club, the student council, and the football team. To be fair, it was hard not to like Lance.

So Merlin didn’t usually go to crazy house parties filled with football and rugby players. He was beginning to wish he had made Will come with him, even though he knew Will would just complain the whole time. Merlin was chatting with Elyan, a bloke he knew from maths class, trying his best to not seem out of place. He sipped on his beer, and prayed Lance would come save him at some point.

“Hey, it’s Merlin!”

To say that Merlin was surprised when Arthur Pendragon flung an arm around his shoulder and smiled at him would be an understatement. To say that Merlin was surprised Arthur Pendragon knew his name and apparently was happy to see him, was an astronomical understatement.

“Hey,” Merlin smiled, trying his best to seem nonchalant. Arthur smelled strongly of cologne, and Merlin had to mentally remind his tipsy-brain that saying ‘you smell good’ would be supremely awkward.

“Lance said he invited you,” Arthur said, still smiling at him. “I’m glad you made it.”

Merlin shrugged, “Why not, I guess?”

“Arthur!” Someone from across the kitchen yelled, “Where are the towels?”

Arthur groaned, “Bunch of children. I’ll be back,” Arthur tussled Merlin’s hair, playfully.

“That was weird,” Merlin said.

“Was it?” Elyan asked, “Arthur’s just like that when he gets more than one beer in him.”

“Really? I don’t think I’ve ever had a conversation with him. I didn’t know he knew who I was.”

Elyan tilted his head to the side. “Didn’t you have history with us last year? You know, with Mr. Garrah?”

Merlin thought back. Maybe he had. But he hadn’t spent much time with Arthur. To say the least, Arthur Pendragon was the Golden Boy oftheir school. He was certainly one of the most popular kids. He was a star footballer. Alright enough in his classes, from what Merlin could tell. Definitely was fit. God forbid if Merlin forgot how fit Arthur was. Merlin was bisexual and was very aware of the fact that in a few hours it would hit him that ArthurPendragon had just been pressed up against him.

But, Merlin reminded himself, he was the only out-and-proud kid at school. And no matter how much Merlin drooled over him; Arthur Pendragon was in a serious relationship with Gwen Smith. Merlin had known Gwen since his first year in Camelot. They had kissed during a Truth-or-Dare game at Will’s back in Year 9. He hadn’t spent much time with her lately, since their schedules didn’t line up, but he assumed if Gwen liked Arthur, then he must bealright.

The party continued for another hour or so, everyone loosening up as more beer was drunk. Merlin mingled with people he had never talked to before and if he was being honest he was having a great time. Merlin wasn’t drunk, per se, but he certainly wasn’t sober by the time Arthur crossed hispath again.

Merlin was sitting on a couch, and Arthur plopped himself down right next to Merlin.

“Hey, you like Triple Goddess, right?”

“Yeah, how’d you know that?” Merlin asked, not sure how Arthur would know his favorite band.

“You wear their concert shirts a lot.”

Merlin wasn’t sure how often he wore Triple Goddess shirts, but he wondered if it was too much if Arthur noticed them.

“I looked them up after I saw your shirt. They’re really nice to listen to while I study. They’re really low-key,” Arthur said.

“Yeah, I listen to them while I code,” Merlin said, wondering too late if it was too nerdy to mention that he liked to write his own computer programs. He tried to cover it quickly, “I haven’t listened to their new album yet. Haven’t the time.”

“I have it upstairs, if you want. Come on,” Arthur stood up and offered his hand. Merlin took it without much thought.

Upstairs was less crowded. Most of the doors were closed andwhen Arthur pulled out a key to open his bedroom door, Merlin figured that was how Arthur managed to keep things from getting out of hand. It didn’t click that Merlin would be alone with Arthur until the door closed behind him.

Arthur pulled out his laptop and popped open the album. The noise from the party was much more subdued in Arthur’s room, and the low sounds of piano and violin came through clearly. Merlin looked around the room as themusic played, unsurprised to see a football banner along with an action movie poster. The desk was scattered with books and the bed was a rumpled unmade mess. Arthur obviously hadn’t expected anyone here tonight. Merlin wondered if Gwen was at this party. He hadn’t seen her. Probably not, if Arthur was here with Merlin of all people.

“Isn’t the lead singer of Triple Goddess gay?”

Merlin chewed on his nail nervously wondering if this was a trick question. He tried to remember that Gwen was a cool person, and she wouldn’t date a homophobe. Hopefully.

“Yeah, she is…” Merlin said, “And the drummer is trans, actually.”

Arthur hummed. He was leaning against his desk, flipping around one of his books. He looked nervous, which was strange to Merlin.

The song changed and the beat was mellower.

“Is that, uh, why you got into the band?”

Merlin rubbed the back of his neck, “Actually, yeah, that’s how I found out about them. They have a music video with two guys, uh, you know, together.” Merlin shrugged. He hadn’t talked much about his sexuality with anyone besides Will or his mum. He wasn’t sure why Arthur was asking. Maybe he was just trying to make conversation with what little he knew about Merlin.

“Yeah, I saw that one.”

Merlin rocked back on his heels.

“So…” Merlin struggled to think of anything he knew about Arthur. But before Merlin could ask about football, and absolutely stick his foot in his mouth, Arthur beat him to it.

“I’m glad you came. To the party. I told Lance to inviteyou.”

“What? Why?”

“I, uh,” Arthur looked up, like there was going to be an answer on the ceiling. “Shit, Gwen said this was going to be easy.” He set down his book and stepped up close to Merlin. He cleared his throat. “I think you’re fit. And smart. And I know we don’t really know each other, but I’ve never had a good reason to talk to you before.”

Merlin blinked at him.

He took several seconds to process all that.

“Sorry, what was the first one?”

Arthur smiled, “I think you’re fit.”

“B-but what about Gwen!” Merlin stuttered.

“Oh, right.” Arthur said, as if he had forgotten about his girlfriend. “I’m her beard. Or we are each other’s beards? Doesn’t matter. She’s dating my step-sister Morgana. We told our Dad that she’s dating me, so that when she stays over, she sleeps in Morgana’s room. It’s a nice set up.”

Merlin blinked a couple times.

“Uh. Merlin?”

“I think I’m going to need a moment,” Merlin held up a hand. “You’re gay?”

“Yeah,” Arthur shrugged and gestured to himself, as if that cleared that up.

“Holy shit, thank you Jesus,” Merlin said, before slapping a hand over his mouth.

Arthur laughed hard and Merlin smacked his shoulder when he wouldn’t stop.

“Fuck off, you know you’re fit! Don’t torture me.”

“You think I’m fit?” Arthur asked, seeming to be truly interested in the answer.

“Uh, yeah,” Merlin said, trying to suppress a nervous giggle.

Arthur smiled, and Merlin noticed that his teeth weren’t completely straight. There was something charming about him that had butterflies flutteringin Merlin’s stomach.

“So, uh, I’m not out to my Dad. But uh, would you like to, Idon’t know…We could see a film. Or you could come over and we could play some video games? Or something.”

Merlin smiled, “Yeah, I could do that.” Merlin stepped up closer to Arthur, suddenly feeling very brave. “How do you feel about snogging for a bit before going back down to the party?”

Arthur’s eyes widened, “Really?”

Merlin raised a brow.

“That wasn’t a ‘no.’” Arthur said quickly, “I’m just, uh… I’ve never kissed a boy.”

Merlin smiled, “Want to?”

Arthur nodded, “Yeah,” His eyes trailed down to Merlin’s lips. It didn’t take much movement to tilt his head to the side and pull Arthur into a kiss.

When they made it back down to the party, no one seemed to notice that their lips were red and chapped. Merlin had a bit of a bruise on his neck, but he would just cover it up with a scarf tomorrow.

***

Prompts (or any prompt) + Ficlets

#merlin #merthur #merlin fic #ficlets #Anonymous

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miniwolfsbane · 3 years

Text

Random: Gambit and women’s weight

(I had energy drink and it’s wearing off, so here I am! 0_o) Edit: Also, forgot Remy was married to Rogue, but let’s backtrack and hypothesize and all that.

Okay, since I’m not on The Gambit guild forums anymore, I have to have somewhere to put this random thought that’s been bouncing in my head since 2010-ish:

Would Gambit date a woman that’s morbidly obese and not be embarrassed about it?

I also have to dissect this thought, so here it goes.

My first instinct says no. He would flirt with her hard, all day long, no question. In fact, let’s just forget most women in the X-universe all look the same. Say there was a significant amount of overweight women that admired him. I think he would think twice before saying yes to a date, if at all.

I saw a fan art on DA making Rogue overweight (I obviously wasn’t looking for it, it just showed up in a group I was in at the time), claiming that Gambit would love big women. (This conversation did not involve me, I just read it.) The thought alone made me laugh internally because a) We don’t know that for sure B) it was coming from someone apparently in support of either accepting yourself as you are, (Not always bad until your health is in jeopardy), or in the fat acceptance crowd. (She called Rogue calling herself fat in one episode “fat shaming” or something. Ummm...?) Headdesk. Can’t find it and looks like the artist left DA. Edit: Somehow I found it? And the whole thing is in two separate pieces. (Not linking so the artist can have some anonymity) One piece, the artist had a conversation with someone who didn’t like they made Rogue fat, and said in response to Rogue complaining she was fat in one episode “ Just some good-old-fashioned sizeist writing”. OMG, really? Girls can complain they’re fat. Not everyone wants to be fat. (Holding metaphorical mouth shut to not go on a tangent.) And then they made another piece in response to the complaint after a conversation, and that was the whole thing about Gambit would love big women. Okay, whatever. I’m sure no one cares and it’s years after the fact. This is all from 2017. I’m not insulting them, I just highly disagree with the whole fat acceptance thing. (Probably because I’m overweight and other reasons and I’m a worrier. It’s not always going to kill you, but being fat can impact your health and shorten your lifespan. Not always, but in most cases.) Sorry, ranting again.

Let me just say, I’m not in the fat acceptance camp. Won’t go on a tangent. I’m fat, but I’m not going to say being fat is great and it’s blah blah blah. So, there’s that. You can be fat and healthy on the inside, I will say that, but being overweight can take it’s toll, there’s no getting around that. Edit: I DO post pics of big women in my imagines, yes. That’s because, in my view, you’re not going to lose the weight overnight and we’re not all shaped the same. I never promote obesity purposely. (Maybe an unhealthy recipe here and there, but everything in moderation.) I also believe in representation for different body types, fat, skinny or otherwise. Edit: So I’m more in the ‘You’re not going to lose weight overnight, fat shouldn’t be fetishized, treat your body with love and respect, people that care about you want you to be your best self, all body types need representation, but that doesn’t mean the consequences that may come with weight gain should be treated lightly, not everyone can lose weight easily, and no one has to be super skinny, but we just shouldn’t let ourselves go either, we all have our own journeys to go through, you should lose weight for yourself and for your health if it’s effecting your quality of life.’ camp. Yes, that was a lot.

Back to Gambit, he’s got all the confidence he can muster and usually doesn’t give a crap what other people think of him, right? I can’t help but think/believe he’d have reservations about dating someone very overweight. Nevermind if he’s attracted to a woman that looks like that or not. (I’m trying my best to word things carefully, but I’m bound to offend someone. I get cursed out again or something, I’m just going to ignore you. Have a nice life.) I think back on the Guild forum, someone said that Remy sees all women as unique, and I have no doubt that’s true. He isn’t so lustful he’ll just chase after any woman, no. And I don’t think like in the Deadpool series, he’s JUST attracted to women with a white streak. Like, ew. Makes it sound like he’s fetishizing Rogue’s hair for goodness sake. Remy is attracted to strong, (emotionally, physically or both), powerful women.

It’s really easy to write off who/what kind of woman a fit, masculine character is attracted to. Especially if we see it several times in cannon or, like in X-Men comics/TAS, most (but not all) women look the same. (Thank glob X-Men:Evo had the girls have unique body types and not look like clones of each other. Thank you, Mr. Gordon! WATXM...not so much. >_>) Going back to the Guild forums, I kicked off an interesting discussion once asking if Remy would be comfortable dating someone significantly taller or shorter than he was. The answer was a resounding positive, that he’d be okay with it either way. Point is, I just don’t think he’s canonically attracted to a big woman.

Now, if he were, great (sort-of?). I don’t think he’d get squick about it either. (Dirty minded, um, wouldn’t put it past him, even if I don’t approve.) He’d probably call her a beautiful figure, curvy, majestic, blah blah. He’d stick up for her when others talk about her, and just be that cool guy we love about it. Granted, Remy wouldn’t be able to pick her up, but there’s cute stuff he could do, and would probably make a lot of remarks and stuff. *Blushes*

Now, if he had to be convinced or talk himself into a date, that’s a whole other topic. Probably more suited to a fan fic than a fast paced comic, but we’re only speculating while the energy drink wears off here. The other X-Men would probably point out the woman’s good qualities, as well as be honest and point out what a fluff hat piece of slime Remy is being. (Can’t think of good not swear words right now, don’t bother me, I’m busy.) He’d give in to one date, be charmed, then two...and so on. It would catch him off guard, next thing he knows, he’s dating and falling in love with someone who wasn’t originally his type. Dude is open to things and has a big heart after giving his love to a woman he couldn’t touch, so it’s not impossible in theory. He’d just go into it skeptical, maybe even figuratively kicking and screaming, or not at all. He IS an all or nothing man after all.

OMG, this things is getting long. He’d probably be a bit crushed if she let him go if he REALLY loved her. Or at least I like to think so. Could be wrong, who knows? We’ll never know, because this hasn’t and probably won’t happen in cannon. If they retcon the Romy marriage at some point and this does happen, just let me know? I haven’t read comics in ages and would sleep on this.

So...yeah. (*Jumpy*) I’m sure Remy and said big woman would bond over Cajun food and cooking. He’d snuggle with her. Now I’m just rambling. Kinda wonder if he’d try and buy her clothes or not? Make-up for sure, big girls are pros with make-up. Definitely the usual jewelry. He’d have a whole new world to navigate, that’s for sure. (Like, Do or don’t buy her chocolates? Invite her to the gym? He’d probably avoid bringing up how much she weighed in the beginning. And etc.)

...Now I just want to write fan-fic, but I am/was at the half-way point with this with Molly’s stories. Molly was never huge, but same concept, similar reaction with Remy. And I’ve got something I’m writing for my own enjoyment (crazy 500 page live-action Molly/Remy fic-yes, it got out of hand and I have no life) that has the same feel and concepts. So, I may have answered my own question a bit already. Well, thanks for reading this insanity. Have a good day.

#Gambit #Remy LeBeau #fat #woman #fan questions #fandom #opinion piece #X-Men #essay thing #X-Men:Evolution #rant-ish #blathering on #weight #women #dating #size #fat woman #comics #comic book

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photolover82 · 4 years

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The Masked Singer Season 4 Episode 2: Group B kicking it off... with a twist!! Guesses and Commentary

Hello my fellow Masked Singer guys and gals! It's that time of the week again (albeit I am a bit late, but let's go with it), time for Ana's Masked Singer recap woohoo! *insert fanfare here* This episode was such an insane one not gonna lie, Group B came in with a bang like wow... let's just get into it because it's a crazy episode in it of itself.

Firstly, I gotta point out the contestants of Group B, which this time were 6 unlike A and C which only have 5 contestants total.. and those 6 are (order from left to right, top row first then bottom row in the image below) Crocedile, Gremlin (the purple fluffy guy), Seahorse, Whatchamacallit (the blue and red hair cousin It thing), Baby Alien, and Serpent.

Alrighty so this elimination is gonna be a bit different than usual because it isn't the norm of what usually happens with these sorts of things (I'll tell you what I mean in a sec)...

So the first contestant unmasked for Group B actually wasn't eliminated (I know what you are thinking... "whaaatttt Anaaaaa that makes no sense")... but actually he unmasked himself (whatttt?! yeah you read that right, he legit was hot and suffocating and he seemed super over it and just took it off by himself... yup, that happened like what mind blown!

Anyways the mask who did this was...

*DRUMROLL PLEASE*

THE GREMLIN

Performance: He sang Stand by Me by Ben E. King and honestly it was meh, it was really breathy as if he forgot some of the words, I don’t know if he was overcome with emotion (because he dedicated it to his friend who passed away) or what, I felt kind of bad but I low key feel like he was going to go home regardless, but on the bright side I love the costume and it was a great song choice for his range. He has a very raspy voice... like almost like a smoker’s voice and I can kind of tell that he’s an older man, but I couldn’t recognize the singer.

So the Gremlin ended up being revealed to be....

*DRUMROLL PLEASE*

MICKEY ROURKE

Ugh this upsets me because I don’t know who he is so I really couldn’t guess him correctly. I searched it up and apparently he’s an actor and director and was in Iron Man 2, which I’ve never seen like ever. But yeah, he did good, he looked kinda drunk not gonna lie and I guess he was suffocated and got over it.

Alright now that that’s out of the way, let’s get to my favorite part, the remaining 5 contestants:

1. THE SEAHORSE

Performance: I really love Seahorse, she’s one of my favorites of the night and so far in the season in general. Her performance of Rihanna’s Only Girl in the World was amazing and I definitely knew who that voice is...

My guess and I am so sure about this guys is singer, songwriter, American Idol alum...

TORI KELLY

Dude like that voice is so recognizable... but also because of the clues:

Emotion Ocean= she’s super emotional when it comes to songwriting, like she legit said in an interview that she cries a lot

Tea Party= she hosted tea parties with her fans in 2019 (well before all this ofc)

Rainbow Frog= sang Rainbow Connection with Kermit the Frog

Judges’ Guesses:

Jenny: Halsey (say what now? This doesn’t sound like her... is Jenny ok? This episode she’s been messing up with guesses more than Ken... you’ll see what I mean)

Nicole: Hailee Steinfeld (meh, that’s ok I guess, but not quite)

Robin: Bebe Rexha (he was onto something when he said country but then he said this, but this is the closest guess of the 3)

2. THE SERPENT

Performance: This one is my other favorite of this group. His performance of “I’m Gonna Be (500 Miles)” by The Proclaimers was absolutely stunning, I got chills! If it is who I think it is, I love him (partially because I think I know who it can be)

I think the Serpent can be actor of the iconic Broadway sensation Hamilton aka Aaron Burr, Sir:

LESLIE ODOM JR.

Dude like I feel pretty good about this guess because of the voice and the clues:

Map of the Caribbean= reference to the beginning of Hamilton where Alexander Hamilton is from

Jr. References= he’s a jr.

Between medicine & music= he played a doctor on Murder on the Orient Express in 2017

Number 31118 (this was from the Sunday before the premiere but still worth noting)= 3 albums, 11 stage productions, 18 years on Broadway OR bible verse Romans 3:11-18 which was written by Paul, a character he played on Rent

Judges’ Guesses:

Jenny: John Legend (See what I’m saying? Jenny, what are you doing man? That is not John Legend, like they don’t sound alike at all)

Ken: Daveed Diggs (Wow! Ken got it kinda close, I’m proud, that’s an achievement for him we gotta give it to him)

Nicole: Leslie Odom Jr. (WOOOO!! Yesss Nicole!!) 👏🏼

3. THE CROCODILE

Performance: I also really liked Crocodile and his performance of It’s My Life by Bon Jovi was great! I feel like I know who this is, and I am pretty familiar (well, more or less) with 90s and early 2000s boybands and this one is someone in that realm I am so sure of it...

Ok so being more specific, I think it’s boybander from The Backstreet Boys:

NICK CARTER

The voice and the clues were a dead giveaway:

The Vegas vibes in the clue package= he performed in Vegas with Backstreet Boys

Water clues (the water slide and happiest in water)= he was born in Orlando, FL home of the theme parks and FL is also some of the Gators so it would makes sense with the costume

Grew up in Hollywood= moved there when really young

Judges’ Guesses:

Ken: John Hamm (and he’s back, that was a terrible guess)

Nicole: Nick Lachey (so close, but not quite)

Robin: Donnie Wahlberg (um, Jenny agreed, how does she not know that this ain’t your husband?!)

4. THE WHATCHAMACALLIT

Performance: His performance of “I Wish” by Skee-Lo was good, not my favorite, but I didn’t hate it. I am kind of feeling that it’s an athlete due to the height and also how he speaks.

So this guess is an idea I got from the Internet (subject to change because I have no clue about sports players):

Rashad Jennings?

The only thing I got from the clues was:

Dancing with Stars= he won DWTS

Clues IDK

Orange Jelly= ?

The clock with the Bear Mask on the 5= ?

Swinging Keys= ?

Judges’ Guesses:

Nicole= Swiss Beats (meh idk)

Ken: Damon Lillard (I like this guess, tbh.. I kinda agree with it being a sports player)

Robin: Tyler the Creator (that would be cool but I don’t think so)

5. THE BABY ALIEN

Performance: His performance of Faith by George Micheals was good too, better than I expected for the costume ngl. I had pretty low expectations but I am pleasantly surprised. He isn’t my favorite by any means and I am also a bit stumped by him especially because of that fake Russian accent, but I am in between 2 people at the moment....

The 2 people I am in between are either Ventriloquist Jeff Dunham or actor

JASON SEGEL

It kinda sounds like him and the clues are a bit confusing but there’s one I understand too:

Tony Awards Reference= he’s been on Broadway

The mask’s a puppet and Segel is a big fan of puppets (He was also in the Muppets movie)

CLUES IDK

Space clues= ?

Friends Reference (2nd Gear)= ?

Ferris Beuller references= ?

Judges’ Guesses:

Jenny: Ralph Macchio (meh I guess that’s good)

Nicole: David Schwimmer (not bad, but idk it doesn’t really sound like it)

Ken: Freddie Prinze Jr. (ya, no)

Alright so that’s it! I am so sorry for it being late, but better late than never... I’ve been pretty busy so hopefully this weekend I will have tonight’s episode recap up... THANK YOU FOR READING AND I WILL SEE YOU IN THE NEXT ONE *blows kiss* byeeee!

#mickey rourke #the masked singer #masked singer season 4 #gremlin mask

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reader-fics · 4 years

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Ward (Part One)

Requested by Anon

Warnings: minor character death

Summary: Imagine being the ward of a powerful Queen who was invited to peace talks with Camelot’s new king, Arthur, after Uther’s death. After an attack by a magic user, you find your destiny on a dramatically different path.

A/N: I have been working on this FOREVER and it ended up stretching so long that I split it up into a few parts. Never fear! I’ll post them soon. A/N written in the year of our lord 2020: hey y’all! It’s been a WHILE. I was feeling a little nostalgic and logged back into tumblr for the first time in a Long time to find that this little blog is still around. Holy shit. There were 500 of you when I left and now there’s more than 1k? That blows my mind. Anyway, I found this in my drafts and I never posted it. I can’t say I write with too much frequency anymore, but you never know what’ll happen. Much love XO -B

The day the herald arrived with the news of King Uther’s death you could have sang for joy. Not that you actually did, of course, as that would have been highly insensitive and also improper. As the queen’s ward you were expected to behave with a certain decorum at all times. You weren’t quite at the status of a princess, so you weren’t immune to legal hazards by all means, but common folk wouldn’t dare to challenge your authority either way. Needless to say, you were still excited.

As soon as the herald had delivered his message, plans were drawn up for a grand caravan to Camelot in order to cement new peace treaties with the new king, son of the old. You’d heard wonderful things about the boy, but only hoped he wouldn’t share the same views has his father. Magic was tolerated in your aunt’s kingdom, which made the horrid stories you’d heard about Uther persecuting those with magic all the more awful.

You had expected to stay home and look after the affairs of the court while your aunt was away, being queen and doing important royal things. You had no true power, but Lysa trusted you to get things done all the same. When your aunt informed you to instruct the servants to pack a trunk of your clothes and belongings, you were rightfully confused.

“Aunt Lysa, I don’t understand. Why must I come too?” You asked her, holding the servants from leaving with a gentle gesture of your hand. Lysa sighed and smiled tiredly at you.

“One day you’ll take my place as queen, Y/N. I cannot bear children–frankly, I have no desire to–and you are the only one I could bear to give my kingdom to.”

“But isn’t your cousin supposed to be your heir? Not me, surely!”

“I won’t let my dear cousin Albert within a mile of this crown if I can help it. No, I have had you proclaimed as my heir since your mother passed. I simply never told you because I did not want that burden upon you. As my ward you would receive the same education and knowledge of running a kingdom, so why change your title?” Aunt Lysa’s crow’s feet crinkled as she smiled again.

Your heart nearly stopped. Sure, all your life you knew that you had to grow into your responsibility to lead your aunt’s kingdom, but you’d always assumed that your role would be more behind-the-scenes. You’d assumed you were to be an advisor, standing silently among the wings and disappearing into the background. You’d never imagined having to bear the weight of your Aunt’s crown.

“Me?” You sobbed. “But, auntie–”

“Hush,” she soothed, wrapping her arms around your shoulders in a warm hug, “as of yet I am still young enough. You won’t have to take my place for years to come.”

“For years and years.” You nodded firmly, resting your head on her shoulder.

“While we’re in Camelot, my love, you just remember one thing.” She warned as she stroked your hair.

“What’s that?” You asked.

“No magic.” She said seriously, her voice taking on a somber tone. You nodded sadly. Your education as the queen’s ward had covered everything from maths and sciences, to interrelationships between kingdoms, and, yes, magic too. You weren’t very good at it, but you often found it convenient to light candles with only a wave of your hand.

How stern could a king be to forbid such time-saving devices?

—

Aunt Lysa wasted no time in preparing travel plans for herself and you in order to reach Camelot as soon as possible. She’d assumed that many other kingdoms would be trying to do the same and renew their treaties as well, so the earlier the better. She sent the herald back on his way to make sure Camelot’s new King knew you were coming.

Your trunk had been packed and loaded onto the carriage and you and your aunt disembarked. It was a comfortable journey to Camelot; only a few days in the slow bumbling carriage. It was capable in a day or so on horseback. You soon grew accustomed to the lazy rocking and jostling of the carriage. You and your aunt spent most of the trip in silence; you figured that she had a lot on her mind and thought it best not to disturb her.

As soon as you arrived, you threw back the curtains to look out the window, admiring Camelot’s citadel and it’s tall spires caressing the clouds. Much of the court was outside to celebrate your arrival. You looked to your aunt and found that she was at ease, relaxed into her chair. Right before she was to step out of the carriage and greet the people, she pulled her crown out from her bag and placed it carefully atop her curls. You always marveled at how she was very nearly a completely different person with her crown on than without. You were able to watch the transformation right in front of your eyes.

She stepped out of the carriage and you heard a smattering of cheers, and perhaps a trumpet or two. You lingered in the carriage as you knew your job was not to be seen nor heard. Tugging lightly at a loose thread on the curtain, you watched out the window as Camelot’s king, a young fair-haired man you recalled being named Arthur, kissed her hand. He was very graceful and poised for one you knew was an adept warrior. You were just musing on how fighting was actually a very graceful skill when you heard your aunt’s voice floating over towards you.

“Let me introduce my ward and heir, Y/N…” she told the king, gesturing back towards the carriage. You jumped up, terribly surprised, treading momentarily on your gown and cursing under your breath.

“Hello.” You said breathlessly as your toes hit the ground. Aunt Lysa shot you a chastising look as you forgot your decorum. “Your highness.” You added hastily.

Arthur reached to kiss your hand as well and you blushed. How did your aunt do this? All of the propriety and rules made you want to rip your fancy dress off and waltz off onto the woods somewhere and become a hermit. You’d heard rather fond stories of one who lived completely isolated from all human contact.

That sounded divine.

You could feel the eyes of the court boring holes into you, and you kept your eyes demurely on the floor. Quick! Say something witty!

“Thank you for welcoming us to your lovely home–kingdom!” You sputtered, wincing as it came out. That was awkward. Arthur seemed to be watching you with a mixture of curiosity and pity. Your face flushed and you refocused your gaze onto the toes of your boots. They were slightly scuffed, as one might expect from actually walking and running in shoes, rather than sitting still all day like your aunt had hoped you would.

After more formal introductions and a whole lot of dignified compliments, a servant led you to your chambers. He said to merely notify the guard outside in the hall of you needed anything at all. You smiled and thanked him, turning on your heel to explore your rooms. They were very comfortably furnished and you were surprised to find that your belongings had already been brought up.

The elegantly plush four poster bed called to you. Oh, how you longed to dive into the soft blankets and pillows and ignore the world outside! You sat stiffly on the edge of the bed, running your hands over the soft comforter. Later. Yes, you would sleep later.

A knock on the door disturbed you from your thoughts. It was just a serving girl, who let herself in quietly. She was carrying an armful of goods, which she quickly deposited on the table.

“Good day, my lady.” She smiled politely. “The Queen Lysa has sent me to prepare you for the feast tonight.”

“Oh, I don’t think that will be necessary–”

“The queen has insisted.” She smiled apologetically, almost as if she knew you were going to say that. “Sit.” She commanded gently, and you moved to the chair that she’d set out.

The serving girl was certainly experienced in her ways. It didn’t take very long at all before you hair was tied back in an elegant and sweeping updo, your face was painted with all sorts of sweet-smelling cosmetics, and you were nearly ready to put on your gown.

The serving girl seemed to produce one out of thin air. You had never seen it before, but it was certainly gorgeous and fit you well. From what you could surmise, it seemed like it was a gift from King Arthur. How he’d known your measurements was beyond you. Once you were laced in and nearly couldn’t breath, you were dismissed to go and find your aunt.

You ran into her in the hallway. She was dressed very much the same as you, just in a different color. Without saying a word, she smiled and took your arm with an air of motherly comfort she always seemed to exude around you. Arm in arm, you entered the ballroom to waves of applause. Your breath was nearly ripped from your chest.

You’d never seen so much splendor and magnificence together in one room. Richly decorated tapestries draped the walls, shining tiles on the floors. The people, too, were spectacularly dressed, whirling around and preening like birds of paradise. The buzz of laughter and gossip filled the room like a haze on a humid summer afternoon, languid and sticky. Lysa’s fuss all made sense now. You fit right in among them with your jeweled hair and flowing gown.

When Arthur swept in to the hall, his red cape swinging mightily behind him, a silence dropped into every mouth. He smiled at your Aunt, once more welcoming her and thanking her for coming. Your eyes wandered around the room, your mind traveling with it.

Arthur continued speaking for what felt like eons, but not a single word registered in your mind. When the audience began applauding, you did too, mimicking their excitement. It was simply all too overwhelming. Lysa’s kingdom was a small one; you rarely found yourself surrounded by such a large and diverse group of people. It was all so interesting.

Lysa was seated at Arthur’s right hand. You, along with much of the rest of the upper court, took the table to the side where you could overlook both the royals there and the rest of the ballroom. Unfortunately, the gentleman next to you was far too chatty for your liking, talking your ear off and taking your hand in his when he mentioned his lack of wife. You politely excused yourself from the table, saying you needed some air.

That was definitely true.

Upon your return, you were relieved to see that said gentleman was entertaining some poor man on his other side with stories of what you could only guess to be battle glory. Based off of his portly figure and sunken-in features, they must have been ancient stories. You giggled a little to yourself and took your seat quickly to make sure not to disturb him from his story.

The night dragged on and you picked at the food on your plate. It was all delicious and expertly served, of course, but you simply had no desire to eat it. Being in a strange place so far from home made you uncomfortable, and your appetite was affected.

Taking your fork and nudging a piece of potato around your plate, allowing your mind to wander far and wide. You entertained yourself with thoughts of returning home. You pondered what you’d do first. Perhaps you’d head down to the stables and go riding into the meadows and thickets, with nothing but the breeze as your guide and fortune as your master. The thought of being in the warm open air rather than this drafty ballroom entranced you greatly. You could nearly feel the sun on your face and the winds whipping your hair around as a plaything.

Abrupt screaming broke you from your daydream. You looked up to see a hooded, shadowy figure scream something in a sharp, guttural tongue and gesture its hands towards your aunt. She recoiled as if struck by a sword. Her chair was flung backwards and she was thrown like a ragdoll across the ballroom. Your heart nearly stopped and you jumped to your feet, pushing a table out of the way to make it to her side.

“Aunt Lysa!” You screeched, trying to fling yourself forward to protect her, to save her, to cover her frail body with your own. Strong arms held you back, corded around your waist and entrapping your arms by your side. You thrashed against them; Aunt Lysa needed you! Your eyes blurred with tears and your throat burned from the ragged sobs that escaped your lips.

The same arms that held you back slowly drew you backwards. You turned to see a black haired servant pulling you away from the fray without taking his eyes off of your aunt. His eyes glinted golden in the firelight. Armored guards surrounded your aunt and hurried her away. You screamed after them. Lysa shouldn’t be taken anywhere without you! You needed her! How were you supposed to do anything without her there? The once peaceful banquet hall had turned into a madhouse. Servants and guests alike raced about, seemingly searching for safety and comfort.

In the chaos, you trod again on the hem of your gown and tripped, legs becoming tangled in the layers of fabric. Your head cracked sharply along a table and the world faded out, pain blossoming until it had taken over and become everything. Physical pain, yes, but also emotional pain. Aunt Lysa was… Was…

Find Part Two here!

#merlin x reader #Merlin #BBC Merlin #Merlin imagine #imagine #reader #reader insert #Merlin reader insert #reader fic #reader fanfiction #you

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zen3to5 · 4 years

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J/H 6-01: The Kids Are Alright

Welcome, everyone, to Zenmasters: Seasons 3 to 5+!

I was pretty set on keeping this rewrite project limited to the titular seasons when I started. The only exception, I thought, would be to possibly do a rewrite of the series finale, working on the premise that Season 7 would be the last.

Then I rewatched Season 6 - which, if you’ll recall, didn’t go down so well. So I've decided not only to do a new series finale, but to make some more adjustments along the way there. In doing so, I've set myself the following hard limits:

1. I'm only rewriting what I find to be the rough patches in Jackie and Hyde's material (otherwise, I'd be overhauling virtually every single script of this season, and no way am I going down that road.) Since I think their relationship is generally well-handled in Season 6, that means we're only looking at two areas: their make-up at the beginning of the season (which I think was sloppy) and the Pam Burkhart arc (which has virtually no Zen, when it really should have.) Adding Zen, and still acting on the premise that these could be feasible scripts for the show, there will naturally be other adjustments, but those were only made on the basis that they had to be to make room for J/H material in these 22-minute episodes.

2. I have to be able to use something from the 3 to 5 rewrites, even if it's only a single line, as a basis for adding Zen to a given episode or run of episodes.

With that out of the way - let's get started!

(And, as with 5-01, I couldn't resist imagining a new credits sequence.)

FF.Net AO3

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We open on a unique title card, patterned after the logo from THE GODFATHER. “The Godfather Theme” by Nino Rota plays as we cut to: INT. FORMAN BEDROOM - DAY DREAM SEQUENCE. The Forman master bedroom, converted to an at-home hospital bed. RED, as Don Corleone, lies in bed, propped up on pillows. Surrounding him are BOB as Tom Hagen, KELSO as Fredo, and HYDE as Sonny. Hyde has SCHATZI in his arms. Everyone is grim-faced and the room is dark, even in the day – very Coppola. BOB: Don Forman, it is an honor and privilege to receive you in your home in the wake of the heart attack caused by your daughter’s wedding. Red rolls his eyes, unnoticed by Bob. BOB (cont’d): While you’ve been away, they locked up that Son of Sam, Al Unser took the Indy 500, and that new movie Grease is such a hoot, boy. RED: What about the Family? BOB: Well, that little dame with the mouth has been hiding down at the pool all summer, on account of these two still being after her. He points to Kelso and Hyde, who shift on their feet. HYDE: Yeah, but that’s over now. We’re sending Kelso out west to learn the nutcracker business. KELSO: Nutcracker business? Why would I - Hyde kicks him in the groin, sending him to the floor. HYDE: (laughing) Loser. He sets Schatzi on the bed and crosses to the bedroom door. As soon as he opens it, machine gunfire rips open. Hyde stumbles back into the room, being thrown about by the many bloodless squibs going off, until he falls down on top of Kelso. Bob and Red briefly glance at the bodies, then return to their conversation. BOB: And your wife, she’s working double shifts again, on account of you not being able to manage the business. KITTY, as Mama Corleone in a nurse’s hat, bursts into the room, with a laundry basket under one arm and a pot of soup under the other. She hurries over to Red, kisses him on the forehead, glances down at Hyde and Kelso, looks up to God, and runs out of the room with tears in her eyes, all while spewing a non-stop torrent of obviously fake Italian. RED: What about my son, Bob? Where’s Eric? Bob shifts on his feet, looks away. We cut to: EXT. ITALIAN VILLA – DAY A picturesque little village in the Sicilian countryside, a lovely image to have on a cheesy backdrop hanging behind the cast. ERIC, as Michael Corleone in his military uniform, and DONNA as Kay stand in the middle of the street, arms around each other’s waists. “Godfather Love Theme” by Nino Rota plays in the background. DONNA: Eric, are you sure we should be going off to college and seeing the world when your father’s heart attack and our friends’ stupidity leaves the Family vulnerable? ERIC: That’s my family, Donna. That’s not me. I’m going my own way. Besides, what’s the worst that could happen? CUT TO: EXT. CITY STREET – DAY The best New York backlot set available. Old roadsters line the street, steam comes up from the manholes, everyone goes about in hats and coats, and a fruit stand with plenty of oranges is set up on the corner. Red and Bob are at the stand, selecting oranges while Kelso waits for them by a black 1941 Ford. Shot-for-shot, the shooting of Don Corleone. A gunman steps out from behind a truck. Red notices their approach. He bolts for the car, knocking over the stand and sending oranges spilling into the street, but it’s too late. FEZ, as Sollozzo, sprays him with fire from his handgun. Slumped down against the car, Red turns around and looks up at Fez. RED: So... it was the foreigner all along. FEZ: Seriously? Have you looked around at this dream? You’re Italian, I’m Italian - we’re all foreigners, you cranky bastard! He fires off one more shot, and Red falls to the ground, dead. CUT TO: SPINNING NEWSPAPER. Headline: FORMAN SLAIN. CUT TO: EXT. ITALIAN VILLA - DAY Eric, clutching at the newspaper, with Donna reading over his shoulder. Eric crushes the paper in one hand, bites the knuckles of the other. ERIC: Oh, Pop. If only I had set aside all my own personal hopes and dreams for my life and stayed at home. If only I hadn’t gone against the Family. He throws his head to the sky in true melodramatic fashion as we crane up. ERIC: Why? Why? WHY? CUT TO: INT. DONNA’S BEDROOM – DAY Late morning. The window curtains are drawn, letting in the sunlight, and Jackie’s cot is empty. Eric and Donna are snuggled together in Donna’s bed, still asleep. Eric stirs, jolts straight up. He takes in where he is, lets out a long sigh. Donna, still groggy from sleep, sits up and puts a hand on his shoulder. DONNA: Eric, is everything all right? ERIC: (beat) Yeah. Eric pats her hand and slides out of bed. He starts to get dressed. ERIC (cont’d): I gotta go. My folks come home from the hospital today. Hyde and I are picking them up. Donna’s closet opens. Out steps Fez, all smiles. FEZ: Mr. Red is coming home? Eric jumps and Donna pulls the covers up to her chin. ERIC: Fez? DONNA: Oh, my God! Did you see anything? FEZ: Not much. You should really think about a night light. Donna and Eric both take pillows from the bed and chuck them at Fez, who retreats back into the closet.

MAIN TITLES INT. VISTA CRUISER – NIGHT A) The gang out on the road. Eric drives, with Donna next to him and Hyde in the passenger’s seat. Behind him sits Jackie, then Fez, then Kelso. THEME SONG: Hangin’ out... B) Hyde drives, with Eric in the passenger’s seat. Behind him sits Donna, and behind Hyde sits Jackie. The girls are leaning forward in their seats, their arms wrapped around the boys’ shoulders. THEME SONG: Down the street... C) Kelso drives, with Fez next to him and Hyde in the passenger’s seat. Behind him sits a scowling Red, then Eric, then Bob. THEME SONG: The same old thing... D) Red drives, with Kitty in the passenger’s seat, holding Schatzi. Bob sits in the middle of the back seat, hands behind his head. THEME SONG: We did last week... E) Fez drives, with Donna next to him and Kelso in the passenger’s seat. Behind him sits Eric, then Hyde, then Jackie. Donna leans into Fez as the gang sing along. THEME SONG: Not a thing to do... F) Jackie drives, with Donna next to her and Kitty in the passenger’s seat. THEME SONG: But talk to you... G) Hyde drives, with Eric in the passenger’s seat. Behind him sits Donna, and behind Hyde sits Jackie. The girls are leaning forward in their seats, their arms wrapped around the boys’ shoulders. THEME SONG: We’re all alright! H) Eric drives, with Donna next to him and Hyde in the passenger’s seat. Behind him sits Jackie, then Fez, then Kelso. THEME SONG: We’re all alright! I) The creators’ license plate, a 1978 sticker in the corner. HYDE (v.o.): Hello, Wisconsin! BUMPER INT. FORMAN KITCHEN - DAY Shortly after the pre-credits scene. Hyde sits at the kitchen table, a plate of eggs and bacon in front of him. He has Schatzi in his arms, cuddled close to his face. He picks up a piece of bacon and holds it up for Schatzi to eat. Eric, Donna (dressed in a bathing suit and dress) and Fez enter through the patio door. They freeze when they see Hyde, and he freezes when he sees them, causing Schatzi to strain to reach the bacon. Though all three struggle not to laugh, Donna finds her voice first: DONNA: (to Hyde) Are you feeding and cuddling with a wiener dog? HYDE: Are you planning to wear a bathing suit to a hospital visit? ERIC: (to Donna) Oh, please do. FEZ: Yes, please. Donna shakes her head and rolls her eyes. DONNA: I’m going to the pool with Jackie. HYDE: She choose between me and Kelso yet? DONNA: I don’t know. But Kelso’s been going down there to show off for her. He’s got a speedo with the Point Place Police Department badge printed on the ass. It’s really disturbing. Hyde pushes himself to his feet, Schatzi still in his arms. HYDE: Whatever, man. She thinks I’m gonna wait around all summer ‘cause she can’t choose between me and a guy who once forgot he was allergic to eggs? His head swelled up to five times its normal size. Screw that, man. I’m over her. Schatzi chooses this time to lick the corner of Hyde’s mouth. Eric chuckles, crosses to Hyde and puts a hand on his shoulder. ERIC: Hyde, the other day I was down in the basement and went to put on Zeppelin, and I found country music records hidden in the sleeve to Physical Graffiti. You’re not over her. Fez smirks, crosses to them. FEZ: (to Hyde) So, you console your loneliness with doggie kisses and country songs, while I am married to Eric’s slutty sister. HYDE: Yeah, how’s that going? FEZ: Oh, not great. But I’m pretty sure when she gets back from our honeymoon in Cancun, things will pick up. ERIC: Laurie went on your honeymoon alone? FEZ: Oh, no, that would be crazy. She took her friend Carlos along to keep an eye on her. But I paid for both of them, so everyone know who the man is in this deal. Eric, Donna, and Hyde all share a look. ERIC: (to Hyde) All right, let’s get going. (to Fez) You stay here. My dad doesn’t want you anywhere near the hospital. FEZ: Why not? I’m family. I want to support my new American dad after his heart attack. ERIC: Fez, you’re the one who gave him the heart attack. HYDE: By marrying his daughter, who’s on your honeymoon with another guy. FEZ: Oh, no, no, no. Carlos is just like, um... he’s kind of like a – a chaperone. He, uh... (beat) Son of a bitch! He stomps his foot and pouts, even as Hyde presses Schatzi into his arms. Eric, Hyde, and Donna file out the door. BUMPER INT. HOSPITAL - DAY A reception desk at the hospital. A DOCTOR leads Eric, Red, Kitty, and Hyde up the hallway. Red is in decent shape and rotten mood; same as always, really. RED: Come on, Kitty. Let’s get the hell out of this weird place. I think some of these nurses are stealing drugs. The doctor gives Kitty a look. KITTY: Red, I am a nurse here. (laughs) RED: I stand by my statement. DOCTOR: Okay, Mr. Forman, just to be clear: no going to work, no chores, no driving for three months. And let’s not forget the root cause of the problem. ERIC: Too much rage, right? Yeah, so he probably shouldn’t, like, yell at anyone anymore, right? DOCTOR: Actually, the reason he ran into trouble is he was holding stuff in. ERIC: (beat) He was holding stuff in? Okay, I weigh 42 pounds ‘cause of what he let out and – I’m sorry – you’re telling me that, uh, there’s more in there? Kitty hurries between her husband and son and takes both their arms. KITTY: (to doctor) No, no, no. He does not weigh 42 pounds. And these two are the best of buddies! (doing Eric) “Hey, Dad, wanna go fishing?” (doing Red) “Sure, son. Let’s hug.” (normal voice) That’s what it’s like at our house! (laughs) RED: (to doctor) See what I mean about the drugs? DOCTOR: (to Red) What you need to do is focus on things that make you happy. ERIC: Okay, but I don’t know where we’re gonna find a boatload of dead commies. HYDE: (points to Eric, himself) Yeah, but there’s two asses he loves sticking his foot up right here. Eric nods. Red gives him and Hyde an appraising look as Kitty shakes her head. CUT TO: EXT. POOL - DAY The Point Place public pool, a small and tidy swimming hole surrounded by a chain-link fence. Donna and JACKIE, in a tiny bikini and skirt, sip sodas at a small cable in the corner. DONNA: Jackie, the summer’s almost over and you haven’t decided between Kelso and Hyde yet. JACKIE: Why should I rush for them? The sun is out, the air is warm, I’m almost at my most delicious shade of cocoa brown – let that two-timing moron and paranoid hophead wait it out a little longer. DONNA: Well, Hyde might be done waiting, so you may not have a choice anymore. Jackie takes her sunglasses off and leans in toward Donna. JACKIE: What do you mean? Before Donna can answer, a shadow blocks their sun. It’s Kelso, fresh from the pool, dripping wet in his PPPD speedo. KELSO: Ladies. Ladies’ bodies. (to Jackie) So, Jackie, what do you think? He flexes, pushes up his shoulders. KELSO (cont’d): Yep. Police Academy starts in a week. All this swimming’s getting me into shape. DONNA: Wouldn’t getting into shape for the police academy mean eating donuts and growing a bad moustache? KELSO: Oh, I’m growing the bad moustache. Jackie rolls her eyes, looks around Kelso to Donna. JACKIE: So is Mr. Forman home yet? DONNA: Eric’s picking him up now. I don’t know what they’re gonna do once we’re in Madison. Kitty and Hyde are both working double shifts, but that still doesn’t cover the lost income from Red not working. JACKIE: Yeah... and what about medical bills? Price Mart offers terrible coverage, and you can forget about any help from the government now that health reform’s stalled. DONNA: I know, right? KELSO: Wait, hold up. (to Donna) You said a bunch of sad stuff... (to Jackie) You followed up with some money and health fact stuff... (to Donna) And you said “I know,” which makes me think Jackie used that right, which makes me think she knew what she was talking about. DONNA: Very good, Kelso. That’s what we call a “conversation.” KELSO: Well, I know some facts too. Jimmy Carter? He had a peanut farm. And the Dairy Queen down the street is selling half-off peanut buster parfaits today. Now, excuse me as I walk down there to get one – without pants. He turns his ass Jackie’s way before strolling off. The girls shake their heads. CUT TO: INT. FORMAN KITCHEN – DAY Welcome home, Red! The family file in through the patio door. Kitty keeps her arms ready to support Red, who looks done with this day already. KITTY: (to Red) Now, let’s get you upstairs for your nap. (to Eric, Hyde) And boys, he needs quiet, so no shenanigans. ERIC: Mom, please, we haven’t shenaniganed in about six years. HYDE: We’ve hooliganed. ERIC: We’ve no-goodniked. HYDE: We’ve ne’er done well. ERIC: And just last week, we found ourselves rabble-rousing. RED: Will you shut up? Eric and Hyde, both laughing, step aside so that Red can go through the door to the living room... INT. FORMAN LIVING ROOM – DAY And find Fez standing in front of his chair with a balloon and flowers. FEZ: Welcome home, Dad! RED: You. You’ve got a lot of nerve, showing your face around here after what you did to my daughter! He slowly advances on Fez, who somehow just doesn’t get the danger he’s in. FEZ: Hey, I did you a favor. That girl’s been passed around this town - KITTY/ERIC/HYDE: NO! Eric and Hyde pull Red back as Kitty rushes over to Fez and takes him by the shoulders. KITTY: Okay. You’ve already given him one heart attack. That’s enough. Now hush. She gently pushes a pouting Fez down to the couch. Eric crosses to the coffee table and grabs a small bowl full of candy. ERIC: (to Fez) Hey, look, buddy – raisinets! Instantly happy once more, Fez takes the candy and chows down. Kitty hurries back over to Red and leads him to the stairs. KITTY: (to Red) Okay, okay. Naptime. She sees him halfway up the staircase, then lets him go the rest of the way on his own as she leans over the railing. KITTY (cont’d): Oh, and Steven, he has a check-up next week during my shift, so I need you to take him. HYDE: Mrs. Forman, I told you, I’m working then. KITTY: Oh, that’s right. Eric, could you - ERIC: No, Mom. I’m not gonna be here, remember? I’m moving away. KITTY: (beat) Oh, so you’re still going? ERIC: Yes, I’m still going. It’s college. I have to register for classes. KITTY: Fine. ERIC: Mom, I gotta get out of here. KITTY: (short) Fine! ERIC: Great. KITTY: Great! ERIC: Fine! Kitty turns away and heads up the stairs. Eric scoffs, points after her and looks to Hyde, “can you believe that?” Hyde offers a shrug, “what can you do?” The front door opens. In walks LAURIE, suitcase in hand. She sets it down by the couch and crosses to the boys. LAURIE: (to Eric) Hey, little brother. (to Hyde) Hey, orphan. (to Fez) Hey, hubby. Fez stands. FEZ: Don’t “hubby” me! I’m mad at you. LAURIE: Aww. But I brought you a souvenir. She pulls a crystal shot glass from her purse and presents it to Fez. ERIC: Oh, look, Fez, a genuine Cancun shot glass still sticky with tequila. FEZ: (to Laurie) Aww, you shouldn’t have. LAURIE: No biggie. Some guy left it in my room. She struts her way into the kitchen. CUT TO: INT. HUB - EVENING A modest evening. “You Don’t Own Me” by Lesley Gore plays on the jukebox. At a center table, Jackie sits alone, reading a newspaper. Kelso, in a leather jacket and a PPPD T-shirt, enters, struts over to her table and leans on the back of an empty chair. Jackie barely glances over her paper to look at him, which Kelso takes for her checking him out. KELSO: Yep. Just picked up the shirt today. It’s a tight fit, so it really shows off all that swimming I’ve been doing. He makes a show of sliding his jacket off and showing his arms before sitting down. Only then does he notice what Jackie’s up to. KELSO (cont’d): Are you reading a newspaper? JACKIE: Yeah. KELSO: Are you reading the news part of a newspaper? Jackie raises her eyebrows at him. JACKIE: That is where the news is, Michael. KELSO: Yeah, but since when do you read it? JACKIE: Since I decided to keep up with interesting things going on in the world. She disappears back behind her paper. Kelso’s eyes dart back and forth; he’s not used to this from Jackie. He snatches one of the other sections from the table and struggles to get it open and propped up before him in imitation of her. KELSO: Well, here’s something interesting – Snoopy is playing in a tennis tournament. Jackie lets out a long breath, refusing to meet Kelso’s stare and smirk. FADE TO BLACK COMMERCIAL BUMPER INT. FORMAN KITCHEN – DAY The next morning. Kitty is at the stovetop in her somewhat untidy nurse’s uniform, hastily putting together breakfast plates – one with eggs and bacon, one with eggs and pancakes, and one with egg whites and lean ham. Hyde enters through the patio door in his half-open chef’s jacket, a small pharmacy bag in hand. He drops more than sets it on the counter. HYDE: Here’s Red’s heart medication, Mrs. Forman. He lets out a big yawn. Kitty presses a cup of coffee into his hands. He nods in appreciation, takes out a wad of bills from his pants pocket, and throws it on the stovetop. Kitty takes it and pockets it. KITTY: Thank you, honey. And I’ll get this money put into your savings account on my way home. HYDE: Mrs. Forman, I’ve told you I don’t need a savings account. Just pay a bill. Of course, this is the moment when Eric walks in from the living room. ERIC: “Pay a bill?” (to Kitty) Mom, what does he mean? Is money that tight? KITTY: It’s nothing. ERIC: No, ‘cause... I mean, Donna and I are both working, so if you need to take a little out of my college fund - KITTY: Listen, both of you – the money in those accounts is for you. Don’t worry. We’ll be fine. She takes the pancake plate and passes it to Eric. KITTY (cont’d): You just eat your breakfast. Eric examines his plate. ERIC: Chocolate-chip caramel whipped cream pancakes? Mom, you’re not gonna bribe me into staying home from school with super sweet breakfast food. (checks the plate) And where are the sprinkles? KITTY: No, no, the pancakes are an apology. I overreacted before. Of course, you have to go to school. ERIC: So... that’s it? No guilt? KITTY: That’s right. Now, I’m late for work. (to Hyde) I’ll pick up the dry cleaning and drop off the packages at the post office. You make sure Red eats his breakfast, and only his breakfast – egg whites and heart-healthy ham. Oh, and remember you promised to give Schatzi his bath. She pats Hyde’s cheek and hurries out the door. Hyde looks down at the plate meant for Red, pointedly avoiding Eric’s smirk. ERIC: Now you’re bathing our wiener dog? HYDE: (beat) He keeps coming down to the basement. His fur-stink’s become incriminating evidence. Red enters from the living room. Eric crosses to the kitchen table as Hyde presses Red’s breakfast into his hands. HYDE (cont’d): Here you go, Red. Red looks down at his meal. RED: Where’s the yellow part of these eggs? That’s the baby bird. That’s the part I want to eat. Hyde crosses his arms and shakes his head, while Eric chuckles and digs into his breakfast. CUT TO: INT. HUB – DAY On a slow afternoon, Donna and Jackie enjoy lunch at a center table. DONNA: Wow, Jackie. You’ve really been showing Kelso the cold shoulder. JACKIE: Well, he deserves it. I told him I needed the summer to think things over, and he’s been after me the whole time. DONNA: I guess that means you choose Hyde. JACKIE: No! I told him I needed the summer to think things over, and he hasn’t spoken to me that whole time! I am so over them both. Kelso enters, still in his police shirt and jacket. He strolls over to the girls’ table, grabs at the badge logo printed on his shirt, and stretches it out as if it were a real badge. KELSO: Ladies. You have the right to remain foxy. Donna shakes her head. Jackie rolls her eyes, stands, and pushes past Kelso on her way out the door. CUT TO: INT. FORMAN BASEMENT – NIGHT That night. Donna and Eric sit close on the couch, going through college materials. ERIC: Oh, my God, Donna. Madison has a course called “The Social Significance of Jedi Culture.” He makes a show of gaping in delight as Donna rolls her eyes. Kitty, still in nurse’s uniform, comes down the stairs with an entry laundry basket. She crosses to the dryer and begins unloading it. ERIC (cont’d): Mom, why are you doing laundry? It’s almost midnight. KITTY: Well, with the double shift, this is the only time I have to do it. Eric sighs. He sets down the brochure and stands. ERIC: Okay, don’t do this. KITTY: Do what? ERIC: Come down here in the middle of the night, doing laundry, looking like hell - KITTY: Oh, excuse me! ERIC: No, I – I’m just saying, you’re trying to make me feel guilty for not leaving, and it’s not gonna work. I can’t stay here, okay? I have to go off and live my life. I deserve that! Mom, I deserve a chance! KITTY: Okay, okay. No need to use your squeaky voice. I understand that you have to leave. I have bigger things to worry about than making you feel guilty. She gathers up the laundry and heads back up the stairs. Donna looks up at Eric, who looks after his mom. DONNA: Eric, if you feel like you need to stay... I mean, we can talk about - ERIC: No! No. He sits back down. ERIC (cont’d): We’re leaving next week and that’s final. DONNA: Okay. They no sooner turn back to the brochure than the basement door opens and Red steps in, wearing pajamas and bathrobe. He has a plate in his hands, with toast that he dips into very runny egg yolks. RED: (to Eric) Yeah. It’s egg yolks. And I don’t care if you tell your mother. She doesn’t scare me. KITTY (v.o.): Eric, I almost forgot... Red tosses the toast aside, drops the plate, and high tails it back up the outside stairwell. CUT TO: INT. HALLWAY – DAY The next day. The upstairs hall of the Pinciotti house. Kelso strolls up to Donna and Jackie’s bedroom door. He’s about to knock when he notices the sounds coming from inside – “Babe I’m Gonna Leave You” by Led Zeppelin, and sniffling. Quietly, he opens the door, and we cut to: INT. DONNA’S BEDROOM - DAY Kelso finds Jackie curled up on the end of her cot. Her arms and legs are wrapped around a pillow stuffed inside a black Led Zeppelin T-shirt, and a tissue is in her hands. Tears are in her eyes. Kelso slowly crosses over to Donna’s bed. He points to the record player. KELSO: That’s Zeppelin. (points to pillow) That’s a Zeppelin shirt. That’s Hyde’s Zeppelin shirt, his favorite one. I know ‘cause one time I tried to use it to clean out a paintbrush. He kicked my ass, stole my shirt, and made me use it instead. A fresh sob wells up from Jackie’s throat. She turns around so her back is to Kelso. KELSO (cont’d): You still love him, don’t you? There was never really a choice, was there? JACKIE: What do you want, Michael? KELSO: (beat) Nothing. Look, Jackie... (sits) I know I’ve been with a lot of girls, but you’re the only real serious girlfriend I’ve ever had, and you’ll always be special to me. When I found out you and Hyde were together, I couldn’t believe I’d really lost you for good. And all I could think about was getting you back. But seeing you this summer... I mean, after being with Hyde, and then on your own, you’ve changed. You’re more thoughtful, more well-read – I think you’ve become a complicated woman. And I don’t want none of that. Jackie turns around just enough to glare at Kelso. KELSO (cont’d): But I think Hyde still does. And you obviously want him. And you should, because you two were good for each other. Not like us. So... so you don’t have to worry about me chasing you anymore. Jackie turns all the way around. JACKIE: Michael, do you mean that? KELSO: Yeah. I release you. He holds his hands out in front of him and mimes a bird’s wings flapping. KELSO (cont’d): Fly, little bird. Fly, fly away! He spreads his hands out, looks up, and makes a noise that sounds something like an object getting caught in a ceiling fan. KELSO (cont’d): (to Jackie) That was you. Jackie offers a weak chuckle and dabs at her eyes. CUT TO: INT. FORMAN BASEMENT - NIGHT Later that night. Eric and Donna are on the couch again, watching TV. The basement door flies open and Hyde staggers in. His clothes are dirty and torn, there are bite marks on his arm and claw scrapes on his shirt, and Schatzi shakes in his arms. Eric and Donna both stand. DONNA: What the hell happened? HYDE: I was taking Schatzi for a walk, and we got to the corner, and you know the Anderson house there, with the Great Dane? He got out of the yard. ERIC: Oh, my God. He went for Schatzi? HYDE: No, he went for me. Schatzi bit the bastard in the groin and then tore his ear and sent him running. It was so badass. Hyde sets Schatzi down. He struggles to stand back up straight. ERIC: Man, are you okay? HYDE: I’m fine. I’ve gotta get ready for my shift, but before that, I need to find that doggie thyroid crap for your little wiener dog. DONNA: What is with you and animals now? When did you get so knowledgeable on pet care? HYDE: I got roped into helping with the cat when me and Jackie were... He trails off; he can’t finish the thought. He drops down into the lawn chair and stairs blankly down at the coffee table. DONNA: You’re not over her, are you? Hyde doesn’t answer. ERIC: You still love her, don’t you? (to Donna) Look at him. So choked up he can’t even speak. Hyde’s throat pulses. He tugs at the top of his T-shirt. DONNA: More like he can’t even swallow. Hyde points to her, “bingo.” DONNA (cont’d): Okay... Hyde, we’ll take care of Schatzi’s thyroid. Why don’t you go take care of the rabies shot? Hyde points again, nods, and scrambles to his feet and back out the door. He’s no sooner gone than Kitty comes downstairs with another empty laundry basket. She goes straight to the dryer and unloads it. ERIC: Mom, you’re still behind on laundry? KITTY: Oh, I sat down just to rest my feet for a few minutes when I got home and – and before you know it, I... (checks watch) Oh, God, I’m late for work. ERIC: You’re working tonight? (points to door) Hyde’s working tonight? You both worked during the day. KITTY: Well, honey, nights can be our busiest time. Steven makes people a big, salty dinner, and then they come my way. (laughs) Now, there’s food in the... oh, who am I kidding? There’s no food! She hands Eric the laundry basket and scrambles back up the stairs. Eric walks over to the deep freeze. He sets the laundry down on it, leans against the basket. He whirls around to face Donna. ERIC: They can’t do this to me. They cannot do this to me. I gotta get out of here. Of all the people in the history of the world that have ever had to get anywhere, it is me having to get the hell out of here! I have to go! (beat) I have to stay. He drops down onto the couch. ERIC (cont’d): Donna, I’m sorry. Donna sits next to him. DONNA: Sorry? Eric, I think it’s amazing that you’d do that for your family. They kiss. DONNA (cont’d): And, you know, we’ll see each other on weekends. ERIC: Oh, so you’re still going? DONNA: Well... yeah, I mean... yeah. ERIC: Yeah. No. Of course. DONNA: Oh, come on. I think I know something that might make you feel better. She leans in to kiss him again. Before she can get things going, though, Eric puts a hand on her knee. ERIC: Hey, um... can we just, like... could we just sit for a while? DONNA: Yeah, sure. She scoots in closer to him. He moves his hand up to her arm, and puts his other arm around her shoulders. They lean their heads against each other and look down at their college brochures on the coffee table. FADE TO BLACK CREDITS EXT. STAIRWELL – NIGHT Another night. Eric and Donna descend the stairwell. They pause when they hear “Baby Don’t Get Hooked on Me” by Mac Davis coming from behind the door. ERIC: Uh-oh. Country. Hyde’s sad music. Hesitating, Donna opens the door. A wall of smoke rushes out to meet them, as we cut to: INT. FORMAN BASEMENT – NIGHT Eric and Donna step into a basement full of diffuse smoke. Hyde sits in his chair with Schatzi in his arms. He’s cackling like a loon, slapping at his knee and swaying in his seat. Snacks of all kinds litter the coffee table. HYDE: (through laughter) Hey, Forman! He waves. Eric and Donna give reluctant waves back. ERIC: So, Hyde... how’s it going, buddy? HYDE: (laughing) I’m freakin’ miserable, man! A fresh wave of laughter comes on as he swipes a piece of salami from the coffee table and holds it up for Schatzi. END.

#z's fics #that 70s show #zenmasters #jackie x hyde #zen3to5+#fan fiction #fan script

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retro-rezz-the-est · 5 years

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The Right Alpha (Drew/Reader/Roman A/B/O smut)

Summary: Just some lovely threesome action with our favorite Samoan and our thicc Scottish bastard (so just pretend that Ro is still on RAW lmao).

Word Count: 6,464 ^^;

Warnings: mentions of a dickbag ex-boyfriend in the beginning, semi-public sex, Drew being a tad bit of a little shit (bc that’s a warning on its own lol), possessiveness, biting/marking, anal and I think that’s it??? Correct me if i’m wrong lmao. Also, this is my first time writing anything AU themed, so feedback is appreciated! :)

(A/N: Here it is, y’all! I’m so sorry this took so long to get out. My brain was just in 1000 different places at once lol. Thank you all so so so so much for 400+ followers, and I can’t tell you all how much I love and appreciate every single last one of you <3. Here’s to 500 and more threesome fic action!)

(Y/n): your name

“Oh, come on!”

“We said no, (Y/n), and that’s final,” Ember chastised you from her seat nearby, her golden irises seeming to flare when the Scot’s name came out of your mouth.

Your eyes went to slits as you turned your head to face her, pulling your leg out from underneath you to let Roman lace up your ring boots. “Well, why don’t you guys like him? He hasn’t done anything to me.”

“Exactly, small fry. He hasn’t,” the Samoan said. “Yet.”

Groaning, you hopped off of the supply crate you sat on and leaned up against the back wall. They never did seem to like seeing anyone get close to you, especially after the whole situation with your asshole of an ex-boyfriend.

You could still hear all of the names he called you, how he kept you away from Ember and Ro for long periods of time, and how he tried to make you wear that fucking collar that read “Omega Bitch” on it…

After that whole fiasco (and after you had to physically pull Ember off of him for cheating on you with some unmated girl he picked up from a bar), they were there to keep you stable and well.

And away from any and all potential partners.

“But, Drew’s different, I think. He seems like a sweet guy.”

The fiery haired woman scoffed, replying, “Yeah, a ‘sweet guy’ who has a record of bagging and shagging Omegas for a quick fuck and then leaving them the very next night for a new score.”

“She’s got a point, (Y/n). Literally everyone on the damn roster knows about his record,” Ro added, coming up to your side and wrapping his arm around your waist. “We just want to protect you after what happened last time.”

“Oh, really? Is that why you always step up to him whenever he gets 10 feet away from me?

Pulling you closer, he rested his chin on top of your head and chuckled, feeling you try to shove him away.

“You know, just because you two are Alphas-”

“And your best friends…”

“-doesn’t mean that you have to shield me from virtually everyone who comes in my path,” you continued, rolling your eyes at her intrusion. “Besides, my true mate is out there somewhere. Are you guys just gonna shield me from them too?”

You felt Roman move away from you just as you saw Ember rise from her own seat.

“Of course not, girl,” she answered, bumping her forehead against yours. “But, it’s just not gonna be him. Believe me, I know these things.”

The three of you shared a laugh and you could feel their unique scents wrap around you. As comforting as it was, you could still feel Roman’s eyes lock onto the back of your head with a strange firmness, almost as if he didn’t want to look away…

“Anyway, you still have to get dressed and prepped for our tag match tonight, Moon, so I suggest you go do that.”

Placing your hands on her shoulders, you turned her around and lightly pushed her in the direction of the women’s locker room, gaining another soft chuckle from her.

“I suppose I have to. Don’t wanna go out to the ring in my sweats,” she commented, letting out a dramatic sigh and walking away.

Placing his forehead to yours, you felt him give you another quick squeeze before letting go. “Kick some Riott Squad ass out there, ya heard?”

“Aye, captain.”

You gave him a mock salute and waved as he too walked off, leaving you alone in the large hallway as echoes of the ongoing Universe bounced off the concrete walls. Pivoting on your heel, you grabbed your leather jacket from the crate behind you and sauntered off, unaware of the large Scotsman’s presence nearby.

A few minutes had passed of you walking over to the stage area to mentally prepare yourself for your match until a whiff of strong whiskey, leather and amber swept itself under your nose.

Oh, fuck me…

“Well, hello there, leannan.” (sweetheart)

You felt the hairs on your arm rise as you slowly turned around to face the large Scot, his feet falling heavily on the ground as he stalked towards you.

“H-Hey there, Drew,” you stammered, feeling your cheeks heat up. “W-What are you d-doing here?”

“I couldn’t help but overhear ya talkin’ ‘bout me with your two… friends… a little while ago and I saw ya gettin’ a little bit flustered,” he said as he continued to walk towards you with a smirk on your face, your feet propelling your body to move backwards.

This dance continued for a quick moment of silence before your back hit a nearby wall and he placed his hands on said wall to keep you there, trapped and in place for him.

Alone.

“You can feel it too, right, lass? Tell me ya can.”

Oh crap, crap, fuck, you thought as you felt his scent cover you like a warm duvet. You could feel yourself getting lightheaded and you mewled, lolling your head to the side.

A deep rumble shook his chest as he took in the sight of the unbitten nape of your neck. “Ah, so you’re unclaimed as well? I can change that one for ya, gaol.” (love)

His body pressed against yours next to the stage area, taking one hand to hold your head and the other to grip your waist. Leaning down, he rested his head in the crook of your neck and took in heavy whiffs of your own lavender, honey and cherry scent.

Should I tell him? Oh god, if I do then Roman will actually kill him. Especially Ember, your mind ran at a million miles an hour when he brushed his nose against the sensitive spot underneath your chin and you sighed contently.

Drew’s hand on your waist began to drift skyward and held you tighter, as if you were going to drift away if he let go. He chuckled and you felt it even through the layers of your ring gear, and you could slowly feel yourself drifting further and further into his touch…

“McIntyre! You get your grimy paws off her right the fuck now!”

Oh shit.

The two of you quickly departed when Ember roared. Her hair began to glow as brightly as her eyes did in that moment, and you swore you could see her teeth get sharp and her nails grow.

“I am so dead,” you murmured to yourself as she booked it over to the two of you at full speed, nearly colliding with the Scottish man when she stopped.

Going toe-to-toe with him, she growled, “If you ever, ever, ever, put your filthy hands on my friend again, I swear on everything that I’ll rip your balls off.”

She scoffed, stepping back to eye him up and down. “And trying to claim her when she’s clearly not your mate? Now that’s just pathetic, even for you, Drew.”

That’s because he is! you mentally screamed at her as she shoved her hand between the two of you and shoved, pulling you away from the wall.

She tugged you towards the stage area and you willingly went with her, despite all of your nerves and inner thoughts telling you otherwise. “Come on, (Y/n). Our match is just about to go on.”

Glancing back at Drew, you frowned a little, seeing his slightly hurt expression and how Ember’s nails left a slight mark on his chest. You sighed, placing a smile on your face anyways and letting Ember lead you two out as her theme began to play overhead.

Getting the win felt good, but pinning Ruby felt even better.

The adrenaline had your blood pumping and had you energized for exactly the length of time it took for you and Ember to get from the ring and back to backstage before everything just left you feeling almost jet lagged.

Walking back into the large hallway, you locked eyes with a solemn McIntyre standing nearby and apparently, the woman next to you had clearly noticed. She bared her teeth and gnashed them at him, making you flinch and grab her wrist to hold her back.

You sped off, towing the female Alpha behind you and occasionally looked back to catch his eyes but just missing him as his own theme started to play. He took a deep breath to calm his nerves, walked through the curtain and oh shit he forgot about him.

Staring daggers at him from inside the ring was a very determined looking Roman Reigns, shoulders squared and all. Drew walked down to the ring eyeing him right back, shucking off his jacket and tossing it into the timekeeper’s area.

He stepped over the ropes and made his slightly shaking hands into fists, feeling his heart race and hearing the bell go off to signal the start of the match. The two of them rushed at each other and grappled for a second, Roman managing to get his head in the crook of his arm.

The match seemed to speed up as Drew was able to corner him against one of the turnbuckles. An odd look that appeared on his face was soon replaced with one of sheer anger when Roman smelled the air around him. Even with the Scot’s hand pressing his face into the ringpost, he still managed to catch a whiff of something familiar…

His Alpha instincts screamed confusion and upset and protect as he felt his eyes dilate. Throwing his elbow into the other man’s chest, he was able to shove him back far enough so he could grip his chin.

“Why do you smell like her, huh?!” he yelled, teeth beginning to extend. “What the hell did you do to her?!”

Confused, Drew thought, Wait, he picked up her scent as well? I thought only true mates cou-

His train of thought was interrupted with an abrupt shove and a rapid clothesline by Roman, making him fall to the ring mat. Standing on shaky legs, he didn’t even see his opponent hit him with his iconic Spear and go for the pin. The match was then over before he could even blink.

The ref raised Roman’s arm in victory before he tore it away in favor of kneeling down to face the fallen Scot. Moving to his ear, he whispered, “Don’t you even think about touching her again, McIntyre. I’m warning you now.”

He got up just as quickly and rolled out of the ring, stalking straight up the ramp and backstage without any hesitation. Roaming the hallways, he finally found his destination and banged on the door.

“(Y/n), open up! We need to talk now!”

“Gimme a second, Ro! I’m almost done packing my stuff!” you threw back, zipping up your duffel bag and hoisting the strap onto your shoulder.

Sitting on a nearby bench, Sasha lifted her head and raised her eyebrows at the Alpha’s insistent door knocking.

“What’s his deal, sis?”

A nervous chuckle suddenly leapt from you as you rubbed the back of your neck. “Well, actually…”

Another loud bang came from the door, startling the hell out of you both. Letting out a breath that you didn’t know you’d been holding in, you shakily made your way to the door and opened it, seeing an angry Roman fresh out of his match.

Sasha slipped in behind you and looked up, seeing how straight-faced he was before letting out an “I’ll see you later, (Y/n)” and leaving the locker room. As the violet haired woman’s figure turned the corner, he gripped your forearm and shoved you back through the door.

Quickly locking it behind him, he turned back to you rather slowly, giving you time to access him. His hands were clenched into fists, a vein was faintly popping out of his neck and his breathing was very rugged.

“Why did Drew smell like you tonight?”

A pin could drop and you would hear it from how quiet the space had gotten, a light hum from the lights above and his own breathing being the only noises heard. “Is there something you want to tell me, (Y/n)?”

You placed your duffel back onto the bench behind you and looked down, folding your hands together. “Well… he may have kinda… cornered me… in the hall before my match?”

“He what?!” Roman roared, making you take a few steps back.

“But, Ember was there to get him away from me and set him in his place… but not before he scented me.”

That seemed to hit him harder than anything as the two of you went quiet again for a heartbeat more. It was enough for his eyes to dilate a lot more and for him to steadily make his way to you.

Just like with Drew, you soon found yourself chest to chest with a hulking Alpha against the wall nearest to you, panting slightly with anticipation as your own eyes grew wide and the Omega in you screamed for him.

Wait, what? you asked your brain, confused as to why he had the same effect on you as Drew did. This has never happened before.

Well, he’s never been this protective over you. Not since…

Your mind shot a blank when you felt his wet hair brush against your skin, igniting metaphorical sparks as he moved his head. He held your biceps in his large hands and just like Drew, he placed his head in the crook of your neck and sighed.

Deciding to savor this moment of privacy yourself, you rested your head on his, feeling him run his jaw up and down your exposed neck. Instantly, you were hit with a wave of him; a feeling of calm and familiar rolled over your body and you smiled.

But this was different. This was something… more…

As the Alpha’s usual coconut, sandalwood and ocean breeze scent filled your lungs, your mind drifted to images and dreams of you two lounging on a beach somewhere in each other’s arms, laughing at nothing while you sip a strawberry daiquiri as the sun set on a clear sky…

No… it couldn’t be… you couldn’t have…

Could you?

Was this even possible?

You let out a squeak as he got even closer, the hardness of his vest pressing you harder against the wall. Hands already placed on his shoulders, you felt his chest rumble with a faint delight when you responded to his touches.

As quickly as the image popped into your head, it seemed to fade just as fast when he let you go and made you exhale from the long contact. He gently took your chin in his hand and raised your head to look at him, staring you square in the eye.

“I don’t want you smelling like him anymore, (Y/n),” he uttered, his eyes dilating back to normal and going soft. “If he tries that shit again, you come to me, ok?”

Without waiting for your response, he strode over to the door, unlocked it and made his exit, leaving you stunned and your body wanting all at the same time.

What the hell am I gonna do?

For the next week, Roman wouldn’t leave your side, not even for a second. Even Ember started to notice the near possessiveness the hulking Alpha was demonstrating and quite frankly, it freaked the hell out of her.

Hell, he even had the nerve to walk you down the ramp and accompany you to your rematch against Ruby dressed like a damn bouncer that following Monday, despite you continuously telling him not to. As the bell rang and the two of you went after each other, you could still feel his piercing gaze watch every move you made.

Everything was going well for you so far. You had managed to get Ruby’s shoulder’s down for the pin, and the ref’s hand was slamming down on the mat.

You waited for the three-count, but it never came because of the sound of blaring bagpipes that was Drew’s theme. Glancing towards the ring gave you the vision of a very pissed off Scottish Alpha who was currently focused on one Roman Reigns.

What the hell is he doing here? you mused, hefting yourself off of the Riott Squad member. Moving your gaze to them, you saw that they were engaged in a heated argument, standing face to face with fingers being pointed. One thing led to another and soon enough, both men were throwing fists in each other’s faces.

“What the hell are you two doing?! Stop!” you screamed at them, hoping that they’d hear you.

But they didn’t.

You didn’t see Ruby get off her back, and you certainly didn’t see the incoming kick she landed on the back of your neck. With you dazed, she quickly hit you with a roll-up and caught the three-count.

Her theme stated to play as she rolled out of the ring and rushed up the ramp, not wanting to see the outcome of your situation. As it stopped, you were left kneeling in the ring, shocked and tugging at the ends of your hair.

Small tears welled up in the corner of your eyes as you eyed the two men at ringside. Your wolf screamed anger and hurt, and you just wanted to get away from those two bastards. You got yourself up and stepped out of the ring ropes just in time to shove past both of them to walk backstage.

What was all that about? Do they know about… that already? Am I completely and utterly screwed. Do they know that I have to choose?

Every step towards the women’s locker room felt like a solid punch to your heart as thoughts kept raging in your mind, keeping you on your toes when you turned a corner.

“(Y/n)!”

Shit.

You stopped dead in your tracks in the middle of the hallway, silently cursing that there was no one around who could help you. The sound of heavy footsteps echoed on the walls and headed in your direction, but you couldn’t move yourself to look at them.

“Shit, small fry, we didn’t mean to-”

“‘M sorry this màthair (motherfucker) wasn’t-”

Their barrage of word vomit made you pivot on your heel, and you could feel your eyes begin to glow brighter and dilate more.

“Will the both of you please shut the fuck up?!”

And that line did it for them.

Sighing, you dropped your head into the palm of your hand and took a deep breath. No need to lose your shit over this, (Y/n). Just calm down.

“Ro,” you resumed, “i know you care about me and I know you want to protect me, but you don’t have to hover around my shoulder 24/7! I need space to breathe, you know.”

Turning to the Scot, you pointed a finger at him and said, “And you, Drew, you don’t have to step up to my friends just because they want what’s best for me. You have to see that. Now, can you both please tell me what’s wrong without killing each other in the process?”

Both men’s heads spun to the side to face the other, teeth bared and hands at the ready.

“I don’t want him fucking touching my mate!” they both roared at the same time.

Boom.

…

The lack of sound was deafening when you asked, “...your what? Roman, how long have you known?”

“Ever since you came to me with Ember after the situation with your ex,” the Samoan in front of you answered, shoving his hair back and glancing back at you. “That’s why I didn’t want you to get close with the Scot.”

“Oh, that’s bullshit and you know it, Reigns!”

“What did you say to me?” he demanded, pressing up against the other Alpha.

“I said it’s bullshit,” he smirked, looking down at him. “I’ve locked onto her scent for months now. I had a feelin’ about it, and I confirmed that last week.”

“So you cornered her to prove your damn point? Is that why I smelled her on you during our match last week?!”

They both turned to face you, making you shudder under their intense gazes. Drew gestured to you, saying, “Maybe we should let the lady decide for herself.”

What?

“So, lass, which one of us is tellin’ the truth?”

You wanted to shrink down into your skin in that moment. You had to tell them. It was the moment of truth.

But… would they accept it?

“Um… here’s the thing…” you started, gingerly holding the back of your neck. “I haven’t been the most… honest… person with you two either.”

Roman crossed his arms, confused. “What do you mean, (Y/n)?”

“Well, both of you seem to draw the same reaction out of me, since you both had scented me last week, so I think that you both are my mates.”

As you finished, you let out a soft nervous giggle, but the two Alphas in front of you weren’t laughing. The aura in the hall felt like all the air was sucked out of it in that one moment, the tension being so thick that you could cut it with a butter knife if you could.

After what seemed like hours of nothing being said, Roman piped up. “Why didn’t you say anything, small fry?”

“Are you kidding me?! You two try to murder each other on a weekly basis, so imagine what would’ve happened if I told you, or you for that matter,” you countered, looking back at Drew, “that your rival was also my mate.”

“She’s got a point there,” he pointed out.

“Shut up, asshole.”

You uttered, “This is exactly what I was talking about. We can’t even have a decent conversation without you two throwing jabs at each other.”

“How does this even work, (Y/n)?” Roman questioned, his eyes softening.

You shrugged as you placed your hands on your hips. “I don’t know the fucking biology of being an Omega. All I know is that you two are my mates and that I get super turned on when I’m around you.”

Oh fuck, I didn’t mean to say that, you thought, cursing the Omega in you wanting to jump their bones. You quickly slapped a hand over your mouth to keep more inner thoughts from coming out, but it was already too late.

Both men raised a brow at the comment, Drew chuckling at your newfound embarrassment.

“So what you’re sayin’ is…. is that you’re turned on right now?”

Don’t nod, don’t nod, don’t do fucking anything.

But, your brain and your nerves had other plans for the night as you nodded in agreement. He walked the short distance to you and cupped your jaw, drawing you to face his eyes. The Scot noticed how you weren’t fighting him off and he chuckled at your submission.

“That’s good, then.”

And with that, he drew you up to his waiting mouth and planted a hard kiss to your own, leaving you weak in the knees. His lips claimed yours in a heated dance that left you wanting - no, craving - more.

You couldn’t help but trail after his mouth when he slowly pulled away, leaving more than an ache between your thighs. Roman growled, stepping forward to handle him himself but you thrusted your arm out, holding him back.

“Leave him, Ro,” you told him, trying to keep your own body up on your shaky legs. “I’m fine.”

“You heard the caileag (girl), Reigns. She’s into it.” A lewd grin slid onto his face when you voiced your approval. His hands continued their path from his sides and onto your body, gripping your hips and moving you closer.

A minute passed before you asked, “So, what do we do now?”

“Well,” Drew spoke, his voice dripping faintly with lust, “I say we take our activities somewhere more… private.”

You shivered, seeing his teeth grow and feeling his scent start to seep into your skin. You were momentarily snapped out of your drifting by Roman, who cleared his throat.

“Is this ok with you, (Y/n)? I don’t want him trying to force you to do anything,” he said, maneuvering himself behind you and running his palms up and down your arms.

You mock him, “Is this ok with me? Have you ever seen the two of you? Of course I’m good with this.”

Drew roared with laughter, hoisting you up and wrapping your legs around his waist. “Where should we take this now, (Y/n)?”

“I feel like I’ll explode if I have to wait any longer and frankly, I don’t think you can wait either,” you chided as you ground down against both of their bulges, making them groan.

“Alright, then. So let’s just continue it here.”

Wait, what?

As soon as you opened your mouth, Drew slammed his lips back onto yours, claiming them as his once again. His tongue slipped in-between your lips to entangle itself with your own as Roman began to pepper kisses along the back and down your neck. The Samoan then bit down harshly, pulling a moan from you as he sucked a dark mark into the skin.

Surprisingly, through the feeling of getting drunk off of two Alphas trying to get in your pants, your logistical side kicked in.

Wrenching your lips from the man in front of you, you wondered, “Wait a minute, what if someone sees us?”

“They won’t. We’ll make sure of it.”

Roman’s voice piped up from behind you, his hands moving to your hips and switching their place with the Scot’s. He continued to place love bites on the column of your neck while Drew’s lips left your own and began to trail down your jaw.

Planting a final bite to your bottom lip, he moved down to the side of your neck that Roman hadn’t marked up yet and setting down his own claims on you. Your skin was ablaze with a burning need for something to happen, and you guys had just started.

You wanted them to bite you, mark you. Show the whole world that you had been blessed with two burly Alpha males.

Tilting your head back, you whined and pressed Drew’s head into your skin to voice what you couldn’t say. His chest rumbled with a caged laughter, slightly humbled by your enthusiasm.

“We’ll get to that soon, nighean bheag (baby girl). Just be patient.”

His mouth trailed from down your neck and hit the top of your chest, licking and biting at any patch of skin he could reach. He reached up to cup your breast, fondling it briefly before pulling down your ring top and eyeing your hardened nipple. He sucked it into his mouth and made you tug on his hair, holding his head still while Roman reached into your top to massage the other one.

The two men seemed to work together in a weird way you hadn’t seen before as when Drew finished working on one of your nipples, Roman would move on to pinch and tug at it when he moved to the other. It made your lower belly go warm and made you smile a little.

As he continued to make his way down, Ro made it his effort to keep you entertained up top with him whispering sweet nothings in your ear.

“You’re so beautiful like this, Omega,” he murmured before softly placing his lips on yours. “I can smell your needy pussy from up here. But, I’m gonna let him have a taste first.”

You felt your face grow warm and chose to focus your vision on the wall behind Drew, but they both weren’t having that tonight.

A sharp pinch on your thigh through your fishnets brought your attention back to the man who was currently on his knees in front of you. “Ya better not be spacing out on us, leannan. We need you t’ see how ready you are for us.”

His accent was muddy with lust as he gripped the sides of your ring shirts and pulled them down, you toeing them off when they reached your ankles. A ripping sound followed thereafter when he put a large hole in the crotch of your tights to expose the black cotton panties you wore.

“Mmm,” he moaned, pressing his nose in the apex of your thighs and inhaling deeply, “ya smell absolutely divine, lass. We’ve barely touched ya and you’re already drippin’ wet.”

Barely? Um, the various hickies on my neck beg to differ.

You held the catty remark back just as he ran his fingers up and down where your slit was, causing you to buck your hips in his face.

“Roman, if ya wouldn’t mind…?”

He smirked, moving his rough hands to your thighs. “Gladly.”

He held them tight and spread them, hoisting you up to keep them apart. He was strong enough to hold you there - and more than likely enough to do some other things to you - and that made a shiver run down your spine.

A breeze hit your bare lower lips when Drew dragged your panties to the side and stared at your juices shining in the low light.

“That’s what I’m talkin’ about. You’re soaked, (Y/n). I wonder if I just…”

The sentence trailed off into nothing as he leaned forward to lick a stripe from the bottom of your lips to the top, spreading them to circle your clit with his thumbs. A loud moan almost left you, but you placed your hand over your mouth to muffle the noise.

Roman tutted at you, biting your earlobe and tugging on it. “Oh no you don’t, baby girl. You’re gonna let the entire arena know who’s making you feel this good. So, take that hand from your mouth now.”

Slowly drawing your hand away, you felt Drew blow on your clit and suck it into his mouth, suctioning his lips around the small but. This time, you didn’t try to hide the noise that you let out, your Omega side going crazy at the thought of being pleasured by your true mates.

He moved his fingertips down your labia and went straight for your hole, sliding a thick one in and groaning at your tightness. The vibrations ran from your core up and you tried to wrap your thighs around his head but Roman’s grip prevented you from doing so.

He peeked over your shoulder and groaned at the sight, rutting his hips into your ass. He saw the Scottish Alpha slide two more of his fingers into you and felt you squirm in his hold, the sight making him grow even harder. Shutting his eyes, he bent his head back and banged it against the wall behind him but not before he heard Drew call his name.

“Spread her ass, Roman. I have an idea.”

The world seemed to tilt on its axis when you heard that. Even in your arousal fueled daze, you managed to choke out a moan and grind your hips down on the Scot’s fingers.

His brows furrowed, picking his head back up to face you. “This alright with you, (Y/n)?”

Oh Roman, always the protective one, you thought when you nodded, your nerves igniting at the thought.

That was all the approval Drew needed before the man behind you grasped your ass and spread your cheeks, exposing your back hole to his waiting eyes. Gliding his wet fingers from your core and to your ass made you shudder at the sudden emptiness but groan at the newfound wet feeling.

Looking up at you, a soft grin was in place of his usual cocky smirk as he kissed the exposed skin of your thighs and slid his index finger into you.

You were pretty sure that groans you two made that second were ricocheting off the walls at that point with your nails currently biting into the skin of Roman’s arms. One hand flew to the back of Drew’s head when he moved his tongue back to your clit, flicking it in time with the thrusts of his fingers.

The coil in your core grew tighter and tighter with each passing moment and with each finger Drew added to your ass. Three fingers later, you were trembling in Roman’s hold and willing yourself not to cum all over his face. Luckily, he withdrew his fingers just in time to sit back and watch your own slick drip down from your empty cunt and into your gaping ass.

The erotic sight made him squeeze his cock through his ring trunks, releasing a pent up moan from within him. As he rose, the sight of your wrecked form with marks covering your neck and shoulders seemed to have an effect on both men. A silent agreement between the two lead Roman to place you on the ground shakily as they removed their pants to expose their hard members to you.

Drawing your eyes from the floor, they stuck to their cocks, inches on inches of throbbing Alpha that made your legs even more shaky and your core throb with anticipation.

“So, who’s getting where, boys?” you asked, chuckling slightly with how drunk you were on both of them.

Side eyeing each other, they nodded and each grabbed one of your arms, spinning you around so that your front faced Roman and that your back hit Drew’s chest.

“I’m gonna need more of that tight ass of yours, love,” he responded, desire dripping from his tongue. He slapped your ass then, the sound bouncing off the walls and your ears. He snickered when you ground back against him as if to ask for more, but he just lifted you up and wrapped your legs around Roman instead.

“Hey there, small fry.”

The softness that had lingered in his eyes before was soon overtaken by dilated pupils when roman held onto your hips and Drew spread your cheeks to expose your hole. Both men angled themselves against you, causing your lower half to quiver, and they slowly slid into you.

You couldn’t form into words the feeling of being filled at both ends. When Drew popped into your ass, you shut your eyes and stars formed behind your lids. They both began their slow thrusting to get you warmed up, but your whimpers and whines almost made them lose their cool a few times.

“Harder, please, I need it.” Your needy Omega side was starting to come forth, and you bounced on both men as best you could to achieve that feeling.

“To hell with it,” Drew growled, slapping your ass once more before pistoning his hips into yours, beckoning Roman to do the same.

“Yes, yes!” you sobbed as they set a brutal pace, feeling their cocks rub against each other through your wall’s thin tissue. The sound of skin slapping on skin was deafening and you felt your eyes roll into the back of your head when Roman hit your spot dead-on.

Tilting your head back again, you rested it on Drew’s broad shoulder and rocked your hips forward when your Samoan started lapping at your breasts. Sweat began to drip down and off of all of you, none of you caring anymore whether someone heard you fucking or not. You felt their knots start to swell underneath you, causing you to push back harder against them. They both roared at this, each of them going back down to give your neck more hickies.

“We’re not gonna knot ya, (Y/n),” Drew panted, his voice hot and heavy in your ear. “We’ll save that for another time.”

“Yeah, a time when we’re actually in a bed,” Roman added, chuckling at your expression.

You clenched down on both of them and they groaned, holding back their own impending release for when you came. You actually weren’t that far off from them because the coil in your core seemed to snap when they looked at each other, eyes dark and teeth sharp. They looked down at your bite ridden neck and bit down harshly, piercing the skin and marking you.

That’s what did it for you.

When your slick gush onto Roman’s cock in fervish, he spilled his own load inside you as he gripped your already bruise covered hips. Drew was the last to fall over that edge, shooting his hot cum deep inside your ass and revelling in the feeling.

The three of you panted and slumped against each other in a mess of tangled limbs and sweaty bodies. The wall against Roman’s back would’ve been a blessing if he had his shirt off but for now, he’d just enjoy the moment for the time being.

A few seconds had passed of you all being connected when you said, “I don’t think I can walk for the rest of the night.”

Your cheeks were flushed to oblivion, and you felt like you were fucked six ways from Sunday. Still holding you, Roman suggested, “Maybe we should take a breather for a minute. Or five. Or fifty.”

“I like the sound of that,” the Scot agreed, nuzzling your hair and smiling. His accent was still thick but you still managed to hear everything he said.

You mind began to drift off as you felt them lap at the bonding marks they made on you. Even though your entire body ached and you were probably going to waste an entire bottle of concealer to cover up your various bruises, you couldn’t be more happy.

You continued to drink in the mixture of the warm and cool scents around you, letting it fill your lungs and enter your heart. It’s be like this every day with them, hopefully.

Your true mates.

~~Tag List: @writinglionqueen @writing-reigns @i-have-saracasm @yaint-me @calum-hoodwinked-me @missmoxy @gold--gucciempress @melinated-moon-goddess @meishaabae @luciddrreamss @neversatisfiedgirl @the-carter-mob-don @aj-mac21 @crossfitjesusinskinnyjeans @finnsauroraborealis @tacoshu @ladytea19 @candicelerae @sassybrose @bambitaz @lookalivesunshine-x @liamakorn @rosequartz-ext @deepdisireslonging @flawlessglamazon @myorlandobloomersareshowing @thegoblin-maiden @justsimplevicky @taryn-dibiase @caramara3 @hardcorewwetrash~~

Send an ask or a DM if you wanna get added to the tag list!

#roman reigns x reader #roman reigns fanfic #roman reigns fanfiction #roman reigns smut #drew mcintyre x reader #drew mcintyre fanfiction #drew mcintyre fanfic #drew mcintyre smut #wwe fanfic #wwe fanfiction #wwe smut #rezz writes some bullshit #sorry this took so long again lmao ^^;

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maybankiara · 4 years

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ok i need to talk to you about ‘you got me tied up in knots’... I love it so much. everything seems to fit, it is so round (can you say that in english?). how did you come up with that? and did y/n only give in bc she wanted distraction or is there more? and most importantly: is it a one shot or can we expect more?

ahh i’ve got so many feelings about that one kjadfghkd (also yes!! you can say well-rounded, if that’s what you meant!) thank you so much!!

ok so unless stated, i never plan any of my fics as anything other than one shots. but that doesn’t meant they couldn’t be turned into more than that, depending on if there’s interest and if i have inspiration. so far, that’s all there is, but now you put a bug in my ear and my mind is trying to figure out if there can be a sequel lmao

that fic’s one of those ones where there’s on plan going into it, it’s pretty much just writing itself. the only thing i knew is that rafe would be a lil bitch and i wanted her to have a bad relationship with john b to kind of “excuse” what she does (it’s still not an excuse). the rest just...happened lol

i wouldn’t say she was looking for something when she went to that party, but rafe being around her kind of confirmed to her that john b wasn’t what she wanted. i like to think that she had a thing for rafe, somewhere in the back of her mind. i don’t really see her as one of the pogues (not the core four, anyway) and i think it would be almost an act of severing all ties with that relationship and life. i genuinely don’t see her being friends with any of the pogues.

bc of that, rafe is kind of the perfect person do it with, right? and i like to imagine that the reason why her and john b’s relationship didn’t work out was bc they couldn’t be themselves in it. i see her as someone who has to almost act ot be tame, to fit in, and sleeping with rafe frees her of that version of herself and allows her to be who she is. that person isn’t someone john b would like, which is something she also realises that night.

this is not a thought process - it’s almost an instinct. i think she did want a distraction, but from rafe and rafe only, and it was something she realised in the moment right before they kissed for the first time. also, because rafe approached her in the first place (and it’s kind of hinted that it’s not the first time? he’s obviously noticed her before, if he knows her name and her affiliation with the pogues. he’s also quick at reading her.) i’d say there’s definitely something more on his side the night they sleep together, even if he wouldn’t admit it, and she’s the one for whom it was almost exclusively physical.

oh wow this got long. my b lol

now that this is over, i kind of see how this could be expanded (i had NO idea i had this many thoughts about this fic lol) but i don’t think it would be just another part? if i were to write more, the only way i’d be able to do it justice is delving deeper into both her and rafe’s psyche, and her relationship with the pogues. maybe. i don’t think so at the moment, but there’s potential, except it wouldn’t be like most of the fics that people read on here lol

come chill with me and send me some dumb stuff bc i reached 500 and forgot about it

#answered #fic talk #this was a MONSTER of an answer and i am so sorry #i'm really happy you asked though!!#snkkat #ask game

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kellinquinnaf · 5 years

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A bi girls story

As a teenybopper I remember fantasizing about boys and coming up with senarios in my head. One day it was randomly a girl in my thoughts.

In summer 2015 I kissed a girl “A” (my bestfriend at the time) idk why part of me just really wanted to and she kissed me back, a boy saw (an ex it’s a small town) and was SHOCKED but we played it off. Later the “A” and I are home alone and I totally kissed her, pushed her up against the wall and everything. She was my first make out too. Throughout the summer we would have sleepovers and make out and it got as far as being shirtless and grinding (and I came wtf??) The whole time we would ask eachother if we’re straight or not and I was so like mind boggled that I was like “im straight, and we’re just friends who kiss” looking back now we were totally girlfriends that summer.

After that summer I was at a sleep over (in the city now) with my straight best friend “B” (100%) and another girl “S” and we were all friends. For some reason we started giving eachother hickeys and my straight bff “B” thought it was hilarious but I was like so into giving “S” hickeys that after I got sooooo nervous. We were all laying in her big bed together and my bff “B” fell asleep and I was so nervous that I kept shaking uncontrollably and she kept asking why. We were cuddling and so close and I can’t remember what I said but I think I told her I wanted to kiss her and we did and it’s was so amazing. Then weeks later we all had another sleep over and I was more confident this time and I kissed her and she kissed me back but out of no where “S” got up and was all nervous and I was sad that it ended but scared that she was not happy about something. After that she moved schools and I heard from my bff “B” that she felt really awkward about it all. Then she’d start posting about her “gf” (it was supposed to be platonic to the rest of the world) but as she posted pics or vids of them kissing I knew it was real for one of them at least.

In grade 11 a new girl came into the school, she was short and had the best but ever.. I couldn’t help but look. We ended up snapping and FaceTiming a few times and she wanted me to sleep over and she talked about us doing shit. She had a boyfriend at the time and he said he was ok with her experimenting. I was so excited to go over, and she started snapping me her in the bath and then her tits but she started snapping me just her vagina and I was not ready for that. The sleepover never happened :/. Yearssss later I’m in the city at the club and she’s there. I dance with her can call her hot and she says something like it’s been a while. We part ways.

I had a few boyfriends / flings in between then and finally made out with some boys and it was all really amazing too! The next summer I didn’t want to go back to the small town cause I had met this guy “D”! But I went back anyways.

I got a boyfriend in this town in summer 2016 and we told eachother we loved one another a few weeks into dating. During this summer I had a little fling with a girl “J” who at the same time was dating my ex-crush of 3 years who his letter is “V”. We tried kissing in front of both our boys they were just like wtf ok.

My boyfriend and I went long distance for a year while I went back to the city for school. During this time I went to a party with a bunch of people from my grade and idk why but I started talking to this girl “H” and straight up asked her (while drunk) if she ever thought about being with girls and she admitted yes and I kissed her. People saw and she got awkward about it. Another friend who saw got awkward around me after too. Another friend knew I’ve kissed other girls and I told her I was thinking about this party girl “H” and she told me that “H” felt weird about it after it happened. I let it go. During this time I also kissed a boy “J” at a party. And more girls at a different party (including my straight best friend “B” while she was drunk. I convinced her to kiss me I just wanted to see how she kissed lol). When prom came boy “J” had a girlfriend and we saw eachother at prom with our dates (“J” knew at the time that I had a boyfriend when I kissed him at the party) he just said hey Sam and looked at me with side eye but flirtation??? I said hey back .. my boyfriend knew that was the guy.

Fast forward a year and I moved in with my boyfriend in the small town. We were completely in love until we moved in together. Things get hard when you graduate high school and move 15 hours away with your boyfriend the day after. I cheated on him with a man “K” a year later and again 6 months after that, with “D” from years after he and I were a thing.

During the second time I was back in the city at the club dancing with the cheat “D” and my bffs sister “K” (guy “D” had a huge crush on girl “K” for the longest time). I’m between them both, my front grinding this girls ass and my ass grinding on this guy. This is the moment I felt true complete bliss and I knew then in that exact moment that I was bisexual. I then admitted it to my bestfriend “B” days later, the first person I told out loud and she said “I’ve known that since girl “S” in grade 10” (at this point we’re on our second year out of high school) Guess I must be obvious.

This guy “D” though he accepted my bisexuality in the moment and made me feel empowered and turned on by it. He was turned on by it. It just felt so good to be with someone so open. Actually I had another boy “C” who felt the same and it felt so good to me for them to enjoy me just being bisexual me. (Funny story this boy “C” dated the girl I had kissed in the sleepovers “S” and so I told him about how we kissed the same girl and he was so horny over it ahhh!)

Bring us to one month ago and (6months after that last cheat with “D”) and I go to another party in the small town now. I’m fucking plastered but I somehow scavenge out the lesbian from the pack of girls who is “M” 😍. We start talking and I guess I’m totally attracted to her. I think I kissed her without her wanting it at first. I kissed her a lot that night. Everyone saw too. We walked home with everyone and I held her hand the whole way. We added eachother on snap.

I told my boyfriend long ago that I’m bisexual and he told me I’m not. I tell him again and he says we could have a three sum. After kissing “M” I got weird cause he considers it cheating and I felt horrible for doing it again. I told him and my boyfriend said “I’m sorry but Im not into that. I know some guys are but I’m not” I told him my fantasy of having us be in a three way relationships with a girl. He could have two girls to fuck and I could have the best of Both worlds. He could get us both pregnant and our kids would be siblings. He was not intrigued by this idea at all.

“M” and I want to hang out but now I feel like I can’t hang out with her cause I know I won’t be able to control myself. She came into my work the other day for a dental appointment. She walks in wearing all black, her blonde hair shimmering in the light contrasting to the black. She has a big leather jacket and a helmet in hand, wearing big black boots. Her colourful tattoos showing on her arms making her look so tough but artistic. We get to chatting as I show her to her exam room. She forgot that I worked there and I commented on the fact that she rides a motorcycle. A Honda 500 (can’t remember the model) - I tell her I’ve always wanted to ride but my parents never let me. I’m leaning on the counter trying to look chill and cool. She said riding a bike is the gayest thing to do (I thought she meant like “gay insult” but she meant “gay homosexual”). I bet the whole office could hear the flirtation and I only hope that they think it’s just banter. She’s getting ready to leave now so I pretend to busy myself with paper work at the front so I can watch her leave. As she’s leaving I walk to the back and turn over my sholder, us making eye contact and waving to eachother. I watch her ride her motorcycle with one hand after saying she just started riding and is getting used to it. She looked like a dream.

I snap her the next day asking how the work day is since I of course work days and she works nights. She replys with something calling me cutie and sending heart eye emojis. We flirt a bit more and she says she wants to hangout soon since she’s leaving for college again. I leave for vacation so I tell her aug 25th and 26th I’m back and can hang out. She said she leaves the 27th but can chill the 26th. I ask her what she wants to do (idk if she knows I have a boyfriend but I have to tell her). She says “I don’t think we’ll be bored😉”

Now I’m day dreaming about her and I have a boyfriend. I don’t know what I should do but I now know that the term “once a cheater always a cheater” is true. I know my desires will win. But can you really blame a Gemini; we are so torn between being two people and leading two different lives that we are greedy and take as much as we can of everything.

I also have a crush on my boss, a smart, intelligent, artistic and wholesome girl dentist, who is also a Gemini and born a decade and two days before me. This life is a struggle.

—

I’ve been thinking lately of talking to a therapist. My life is fucked up. I’m so torn between where I am and where I want to be. I don’t even know where I want to be .. I thought right where I am was it but I’m not so sure. I want to leave this town and go back to the city and go to school but I’m living the life I wanted here. I just don’t want this settled down family life just yet. I’m dental assisting without having gone to school for it so I feel like I can’t be proud of what I do. I’m a dance instructor with someone I can’t even handle anymore because of their greed and want to have my own control over it. I’m torn between wanting to be in a relationship and wanting to be single. Between wanting to be with a boy and with a girl. I miss my family but I moved here to get away from that toxic household (not toxic when not living with the parents). I have not been officially diagnose but I know I have OCD and trichotilomania (a disorder causing you to involuntary pull out your body hair). I only pulled my eyelashes but when I tried to stop I just started picking my skin and now I have the worst acne and scaring. I need help. My house is either spotless or a complete disaster. also I’m in the closet for most of everything and I’m nervous to what my family and coworkers will think/feel. Everyone else idgaf but when you’re so close and personal and you come out it shocks people and then the women don’t want to get to close to you in fear that you’re attracted to them. And the parents would be ok with it but they’d just be shocked.

I’m gunna ask the girl to hang out tonight and we’ll probably make out. Hopefully we fuck.

#horrible person

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gingergcnius · 5 years

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Edward Nygma, the man who talks to animals

All it takes, is a pet day

If you asked what animal they would keep at home, they would say a dog, or a cat. Because normally cats and dogs are home animals. They are great company, even when some bitch around and chew your only shoes, leaving you embarrassed at work. Sure you need to take out your dog every day and night for a walk so your house won't smell like a morgue full of dead bodies. But normally, these two would be the acceptable human pets. Jim did not like cats so much, but was fond of dogs. They could be trained for so many things, and no matter what people said he believed they were smart. He always wanted a golden or a husky, but when he went to the army he forgot all of that. And when he became a detective, he had no time to look after a dog.

Every week, they had pet day. People who had a pet would bring them over, which helped some officers a lot, bringing their mood back up which meant people doing their jobs better. The best thing that happened to them so far was Harvey laughing uncontrollably to am officer chasing their dog. It was good to see this every week event brought a smile to his friend's face. Everyone knew who to go to, if they lost their dog. For some reason, they would always end up at somewhere.

In the lab. Nobody knows, but every week some officers would to go Edward to collect their dogs from them. He was surprisingly good with animals. Cats who scratched their owners climbed Ed's shoulder, and dogs who ran from their owner found their way to the guy no matter which room he was in, as long as he was in the room. Though no one has seen Edward bring a pet, he was good with them.

Well, no one saw what kind of pet he had until that day. And no one was expecting the animal Edward brought. When he thought Edward with an animal, the first image popped in his mind was a small kitten, or a big fluffy dog. But no, Edward had to bring something entirely else.

Edward came to work that day, wearing suspiciously comfortable clothes. Not the everyday suits and toes they were all used to seeing Ed in, but a dark green hoodie, and tight pants that just wrapped around his long legs too well (no, he did not stare.) that he stared at. And the view from the back was so much better that day. He smiled brightly at them, a file in his hand. "Good morning detective! I got the files you requested" Jim smiled back, grabbing the files before checking it. He had no doubt that Edward forgot to put something in it, but every second he could spend near him was enough for Jim. "Good morning Ed" he replied. Harvey raised an eyebrow, eyeing Edward

"no suits today I see? What's the special occasion?" He asked, elbowing Jim, teasing him. He was one of two who knew he was interested in Edward, the other being -embarrassingly- Captain Essen. Who gave him the most scary shovel talk. It was always good to know someone got Edward's back, not that Jim would ever try to hurt him.

Ed blinked a few seconds, before beaming "oh! It's because I brought one of my pets today. In order to carry her I had to wear something that was not too tight" he explained. Wait, did he just say pet's'?

"you have more than one?" Jim asked, shocked. Edward nodded rather too fast, grinning. "Yep! Perhaps I shall bring the others next week" Edward hummed, rather to himself. Before he could walk away Kristen came with Lee, their arms locked together. "What are you all talking about?" Lee asked, smiling.

"Not being suited like a professional I see, Mr Nygma?" Kristen teased, smiling. After the shooting, Edward was there to calm Her down when she learned Dougherty died, even though himself was shot in the arm. Nobody knows what happened, but when Kristen got over his head boyfriend, they became best friends. Often Jim caught them gossiping about officers, and to be honest it had Jim jealous but he would never admit out loud.

Both snickered at the formality with the Mrs and Mr terms. "So, where is your pet, Ed? " Harvey finally asked the 500 dollar question. The girls gasped. "You have a pet?" Edward nodded. "Promise you won't scream? Not everyone reacts the same way after seeing her"

"oh come on, how bad can it be" and oh boy how wrong Harvey was wrong. Edward made a noise none of them knew, and in seconds a head popped out from where Ed's neck was. It was a huge snake's head, staring at them without blinking. Kristen shrieked, and Lee stepped away "HOLY FUCK IS THAT A FUCKING SNAKE. I knew it, You're crazy!" Everyone except Jim stepped away, and the only thing Ed did was to giggle.

"don't worry detective, she won't bite. She is a corn snake. " He explained, patting the head that popped out of his collar.

"how b-big is she?" Asked Kristen, curiousity getting the better of her. She was always drawn to dangerous things and humans.

"she is, as I'm proud to say, 5.4 feet!" The snake suddenly hissed, and Edward shot a glare at the snake who was out, long enough to face him. "hey, don't hiss at me. You're not 5.5, you're 5.4!" Another hiss "hey! If you keep hissing at me like that, no two rats" the snake finally stopped, resting it's head on his shoulder after wrapping around his neck once.

"wait, if your snake is that long, how is he inside your hoodie?" Jim asked. Edward reached for his hoodie, lifting it up to reveal the rest of the snake wrapped around his torso two times. "I never took you for a snake person Ed"

"you can pet her if you'd like. She doesn't let everyone touch her, but it's worth a try" Edward offered his own hand, to lead Jim's hand. He placed his hand inside Ed's, and oh god his hands were so soft. One would think he was using a cream 7/24. He was too focused on the fact that he was holding his hand, until he felt something else under his own hand, and realised that the snake was letting him pet her

"woah, she never let's anyone near me, or let along touch her..." Edward whispered, before looking at Jim, a childish yet perfectly fitting grin on his face. "Looks like you're one of the special ones, Detective" Jim chuckled, letting his hand move on her head. "What's her name?"

"I names her Medusa, because you know, she won't let anyone come near her and me. " He answered. Jim let his hand wander a little bit down, barely touching the uncovered skin on Edward's shoulder. "You two look beautiful. A perfect fit, huh?" Edward blushed, and it looked so natural there. "T-Thank you Detective"

"it's time we let go of the Detective thing, Ed. We have been working together for a year." He said quietly, loving how the man blushed even more. He was happy to put that color onto his cheeks. No one else but him.

Edward returned to his lab, looking like a tomato. He was so sure, a minute ago Jim Gordon was flirting with him. Him. Well, not that he was going to decline the guy. He has the looks. His ocean blue eyes, his blond hair that he pushed back a lot which looked so soft and took everything to not just reach for them in front of everyone. And his body, oh god his body. The man was well built. That's what happens when people went to the army, he guessed. He manage to catch a glimpse of the tanned, built body when they came back from a crime scene. It had rained a lot, leaving the two soaked up. In order to not get sick, they had to change their clothes. Edward waited until Jim was done, so he could take off his own shirt. He was not embarrassed, but did not wanted him to see the scars on his back. It was one of the main reasons he got a giant snake too. Having the snake wrapped around his torso like a shield calmed him down whenever he remembered not so pleasent things.

Not so after he joined him at the lab, a file in his hand. "Hey Ed, you think you can take a look at this? Something seems wrong, and you're the only one who was there with me at the scene" Edward grabbed the file, going through the pages. And immediately found what was wrong. "The wound. The cause of death was not suicide, it was acid." He corrected. He turned around, glaring at Medusa once again. "No! Hey, don't give me that look. This is my working place, you're not biting dead people" he warned. He had hoped Jim would be gone by now, but hearing the lock on the door made him turn around.

"I-Is there something you need, Jim?" He said quietly, watching as he slowly made his way towards him. "Just had to make sure to lock the door, just in case walked in"

"while what?" He asked, nervously. He was backing away, bumping into the counter as Jim did not stop coming forward.

"while either I make the biggest mistake of my life, or do the right thing" he whispered. Ed gulped, unable to move as Jim came incredibly close. And the next thing he knew was he was being kissed.

He was being kissed, By one James Gordon, with him almost between his legs because he had backed away too much and almost climbed the counter. One thing he concentrated on was how gentle he was with him. Almost as if he was nervous about this. He was giving Edward a chance. Pull away, or kiss back.

Before Jim could pull away, he grabbed his tie tightly, pulling him closer, kissing back. He ignored the small gasp coming from Jim, as he continued to kiss him as if there was no tomorrow. He felt Jim's one hand on his waist, the other on his face. With his Other Hand, Edward pulled Jim as close as he could, pressing himself against him. No so long after, they had to pull back, air filling their lungs. "How long?-" Ed managed to ask, gasping for air. "Since that day you asked me a riddle"

"you have to be more specific. I ask you riddles everyday" both laughed quietly.

"the third one. At a scene." He paused "what about you?"

"since you answered the first riddle" he admitted. Jim leaned forward once again, capturing his lips with a kiss, catching Ed off guard once again. He wasn't so gentle this time, knowing that Edward won't push him away. Edward immediately kissed back, unable to hold back a moan at how good Jim kissed. It felt amazing. A loud hiss made them pull away, as both glared at Medusa. But then Edward started laughing, leaving Jim curious. Seeing Jim's reaction, Edward once again explained. "So all it took was you to kiss me was her, huh?" Jim huffed, smiling. "But it wasn't the only thing, was it?" Suddenly Edward smirked.

"I knew you wore those tight pants for a reason" Edward, knowing his plan worked smirked wider. "So it did work! "

Finally you all get some RiddlerGordon content from me that I promised but never wrote. Oh and, snakes because fuck yeah I love snakes. Please ask for more stuff like these in the ask box, I need new ideas!!

I gift this to @riddlersgordon

#edward nygma #ed is a dork #riddlergordon #leslie thompkins #kristen kringle #harvey bullock #snakes #pets #fluff #its just full fluff #no angst #okay maybe a really small mentioning of child abuse #jim gordon #oh god #how did i forget to tag him

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rtucker889 · 5 years

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Don’t Kill Your Best Friend: Keeping the Secrets You Tell Your Friends, Secret

“Two can keep a secret if one of them is dead.” I don’t know about you, but I’ve told plenty of secrets in my life and I’ve never had to kill anyone over it. Regardless of whether or not you have (and I seriously hope that you haven’t), this popular saying reveals a lot about how we view, tell, and keep secrets. While telling secrets plays an important role in our ability to learn about, form connections with, and develop trust with others, they can also be the source of many issues in our friendships (Kennedy-Lightsey, Martin, Thompson, Leezer Himes, & Clingerman, 2012).

One way we can understand the role secrets play in our friendships is through a concept known as Communication Privacy Management Theory (CPM theory for short!). This theory explains how we tell and keep secrets, as well as what happens when our secrets are revealed to someone else. By understanding this process, we can learn a thing or two about the importance of secrecy and maintaining privacy in our friendships. By the end of this, my hope is that you’ll see two can keep a secret and you don’t need to kill your best friend to make that happen.

Where Did CPM Theory Come From?

CPM theory was developed by Dr. Sandra Petronio. Dr. Petronio is a highly accomplished scholar in the field of communication. She earned her doctorate degree (Ph.D.) in interpersonal communication from the University of Michigan in 1979 and has been studying communication ever since. That means she’s been doing research for over 30 years! Currently, Dr. Petronio works as a professor in the Department of Communication at the University of Indiana-Purdue University Indianapolis. There, she teaches a few different communication courses and also continues to do research. Interested in learning more about her work? Check out her bio here. She’s also on Facebook!

What is CPM Theory?

CPM theory is concept Dr. Petronio developed to explain how we manage private information. Private information is anything you know that you don't want someone else to know. Now, you might choose to share that information with someone you trust, but you don’t want everyone to know about it. Instead, you keep it between you and the people you trust enough to share it with. In other words, private information is just a fancy way of saying secret!

Dr. Petronio was really interested in how we choose to share secrets and also, how we try to keep others from learning them. After several years of considering how we do this, she eventually came up with CPM theory. So, CPM theory is just a concept that we can use to understand (a) how we share secrets, (b) how we keep secrets, and also, (c) what happens when we reveal secrets that we weren’t supposed to tell. Ready to learn more? Let’s dive in!

Elements of CPM

There are three main “elements” or “components” of CPM Theory: (1) privacy ownership, (2) privacy control, and (3) privacy turbulence. Confused? Don’t worry, we’re about to break it down! Each element explains a different aspect of how we manage secrets in our friendships.

Privacy Ownership

The first element of CPM theory is privacy ownership. This is the idea that we own private information. For example, let’s pretend that you have $5 hidden in your pocket. Unless you tell someone that it’s there, no one will know. And, if no one knows, then no one can try to take it away from you—it’s yours. You own it. You could walk around with $5 in your pocket all day and the only person in the entire world who would know it was there is you. Think of a secret like the $5 bill. Unless you tell someone your secret, no one will ever know it exists. That means, until you do, you are the sole owner of that piece of information. The secret is yours.

Now, something to keep in mind is that the second you tell someone you have $5 in your pocket, everything changes. For example, let’s say you tell your best friend that you have $5 hidden in your pocket. Are you the only person who knows the $5 is there? No! Now your best friend knows, too! That means you are no longer the sole owner of that piece of information. Instead, you and your best friend are now co-owners of that information. That means you both know the $5 bill is there. This same idea applies to our secrets. They are ours and ours alone until we tell someone about them. Once we do, both we and the person we tell “own” that information.

Privacy Control

The second element of CPM theory is privacy control. This is the idea that we try to control who is and is not able to learn our secrets. Why do we this exactly? Well, when we own something, we feel like we have ownership or control over it. We see it as our possession—it’s ours. And since it is ours, we feel as though no one can or should take it away from us. Think about the $5 bill in your pocket. How would you feel if your best friend tried to take it? Probably a mixture of shock and anger. Yes, you told them it was there, but that didn’t mean that that could take it—it’s still your $5. This is exactly how we feel about our secrets.

When you tell someone a secret, chances are you don’t want them to share it with everyone else. It’s a secret. And more importantly, it’s your secret. They shouldn’t tell everyone your secret—it’s not theirs to tell! To keep people from telling our secrets, we use several strategies. I’m sure you’ve uttered the phrase, “Don’t tell anyone this, but…” at least a hundred times in your life. When you do, what you’re actually doing is letting your best friend know that you don’t want them to tell your secret to anyone else. We also do this in the form of pinky promises and “cross my heart I hope to dies.” There are many ways that we signal to our friends that we do not want them to tell our secrets. This process of deciding who does and who does not get know our secrets (or that we have $5 in our pocket) is what Dr. Petronio describes as privacy control.

Privacy Turbulence

So… what happens when someone you trusted with a secret, reveals it to someone else? Great question! This brings us to the third and final element of CPM Theory—privacy turbulence. Privacy turbulence is a word Dr. Petronio uses to describe what happens when we lose control of our secrets. To help you understand what I mean, let’s return to the $5 scenario one last time.

So, you tell your best friend that you have $5 in your pocket and you ask them to pinky promise that they won’t tell anyone else. They agree, your pinkies interlock, and you go your separate ways. A few hours later while you’re on your way home, you’re suddenly stopped by your best friend’s sister. She has an important meeting in the city, but forgot to bring cash for the bus. She asks if you can help her out by giving her the $5 in your pocket. You don’t want to ( you were actually going to use it to buy a ticket to a movie tonight), but because she’s your best friend’s sister, you agree to give it to her. How would you feel in that moment? Angry? Frustrated? Upset? Betrayed? A combination of all of the above? These are the exact same emotions we feel when we discover that someone we trusted with our private information, told it to someone else (McLaren & Steuber, 2012).

Depending on how sensitive your secret was, who your friend told, and how many people they told, this could be very damaging to your friendship (Stueber & McLaren, 2015). For instance, do you think you’d want to tell your friend when you have a $5 bill in your pocket in the future? What if you had a $500 bill? If they couldn’t keep the $5 bill a secret, then do you think they would be able to keep the $500 bill a secret? Probably not. These same issues arise when someone reveals our secret without our permission.

When someone you trust with a secret reveals it to someone else, you are going to be pretty upset. It’s a breach of trust—they betrayed you. As a consequence, it’s likely that you will be less willing to trust them in the future, not only with your secrets, but as a person more generally. Obviously, this could have devastating effects on your friendship.

How Can I Make Sure My Secrets Stay Safe?

Since sharing private information is an important aspect of developing and maintaining friendships, we shouldn’t be afraid to tell our friends our secrets. In fact, we should embrace it! Telling secrets can actually strengthen our relationships and allow us to make more meaningful connections with others when done right (Kennedy-Lightsey, et al, 2019).

But, how can we make sure our secrets stay secret? Don’t worry, you don’t need to kill your friend. You just need to establish clear rules about whether and how they can share your secrets with others. By clearly explaining how you want your secret to be handled, you will decrease the odds that your friend accidentally reveals a secret that you don’t want them to tell (Stueber & McLaren, 2015). To do this, consider the following questions…

Is it okay if they share your secret?

If so, who else can they can tell your secret to? Who can they not tell your secret to?

When can they share your secret? Do they need to wait before they can tell someone?

Can they discuss your secret on social media?

If someone else tries to ask them about it, what should they do or say?

By answering these questions and establishing who, when, and where your friend can or cannot tell your secret, you will reduce the chances that your secrets will be revealed by accident. Furthermore, if you’re ever unsure about whether it’s okay to reveal your friend’s secret to someone else—don’t! Instead, ask them if it’s okay first. This will prevent you from accidentally sharing information that your friend wants to keep private and help you avoid the consequences of privacy turbulence. By doing both of these things, you will be able to keep secrets more effectively in your friends, and have a better chances at creating meaningful relationships with your friends that will last a lifetime.

Additional Resources:

Child, J. T., & Petronio, S. (2017). Communication Privacy Management Theory. In SAGE Encyclopedia of Communication Research Methods (Vol. 1, pp. 206–208). Thousand Oaks, CA: SAGE Publications, Inc.

Kennedy-Lightsey, C. D., Martin, M. M., Thompson, M., Leezer Himes, K., Zackery Clingerman, B. (2012). Communication Privacy Management Theory: Exploring coordination and ownership between friends. Communication Quarterly, 60(5), 665–680. doi: 10.1080/143373.2012.725004.

McLaren, R. M., & Steuber, K. R. (2012). Emotions, communicative responses, and relational consequences of boundary turbulence. Journal of Social and Personal Relationships, 30(5), 606–626. doi: 10.1177/02654077512463997.

Petronio, S. (2013). Brief status report on Communication Privacy Management Theory. Journal of Family Communication, 13, 6–14. doi: 10.1080/15267431.2013.743426.

Steuber, K. R., & McLaren, R. M. (2015). Privacy recalibration in personal relationships: Rule usage before and after incident of privacy turbulence. Communication Quarterly, 63(3), 345–364. doi: 10.1080/01463373.2015.1039717.

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kariachi · 5 years

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”So, we’re gonna start today’s Martin Mystery rewatches with The Vampire Returns. Should I have listened to more of the Young Frankenstein soundtrack during lunch in preparation? Probably. But here we are instead.

I love how this show always specifies the exact time shit starts going down. For instance, in this episode, 10:32 pm CEST

Good on Lady Soulsucker’s date for paying enough attention to notice when the girl he’s out with grows fangs and her eyes start glowing. You don’t see that often enough.

Aw and then she takes the daintiest bite of apple with teeth bigger than Date-Dude’s face.

I wonder how they got out without being noticed... can’t remember if the vampires in this episode can do the ‘turn to fog’ thing. Sure I’ll find out later.

Diana sitting there with a book and a crowd of impressed young ladies. What are you showing them, Diana? Did you make this book yourself? Did you mother write it? I can’t think of a reason for the ooo-ing and ahh-ing going on otherwise. Either that or you managed to attract a pack of lesbians and they are trying to get in your pants.

...ya know I’m kinda all for the idea that Diana has unwittingly attracted a chunk of Torrington’s lesbian population and they are all trying to smooze in the awkward way that only a young gay can manage.

Also hello Tonio, it’s nice to see you. I’m going to have to include you in this in some way, I believe, given the location and also that this is a fic for nix.

Martin, Martin, sweetie, no. You are not getting that girl. There were actual sparkles coming off her, you don’t deserve that sort’ve quality. Plus, ya know, she sounds like your brand of nerd isn’t her style. I know the saying is “aim for the moon, if you fail you’ll land among the stars” but let’s be realistic for five seconds

Tonio can see this disaster coming from a mile away.

Amber is not having it, solidly unimpressed. I’m shocked.

You think the girls at this school ever rate the boys and just, give Martin a solid 6/10 for effort and moxie alone? “We wouldn’t date him, but at least he’s entertainingly stupid.”

Amber’s look of shock and concern at the idea of Martin enjoying studying. Like she’s about to call in the Psi Psi Psi girls and Diana, clearly their moron has fallen ill. Diana, meanwhile, is just pissed and I can’t decide whether the idea that this is because Martin is lying to get a date or because ‘has he been lying for the past our entire lives’ is funnier.

Though, given we’ll be working with witch!Martin for this it’s not like he’s lying. He just doesn’t like studying, well, anything they teach at Torrington. (Although I am still a big fan of the idea that he’s perfectly bright and just doesn’t apply himself like, at all.)

Martin don’t growl at your sister, you’ll get enough chances to in season 3.

And Amber trying to let him down easy.

“Very rare, and totally irreplaceable” and you, all the way into season 2, are going to work with them, in your office, immediately after calling in Martin- known disaster and Destroyer of Projects? I swear you’d think MOM wanted her crap ruined. After a point you have no one to blame but yourself.

Martin no.

I repeat, MOM, no one to blame but yourself. Most people with an ounce of sense would stow away the shit they didn’t want destroyed when the guy who keeps destroying shit was called in.

Diana no. You’re being sent on a mission not a fucking river cruise.

Introducing, the world’s scariest tunnel of love. First condoms in the water, now people going missing, this dude is just done.

Well Lady Soulsucker just fucking demolished that place didn’t she. Godsdamn, forget shutting it down because people disappeared, shut it down because it’s officially a safety hazard.

Okay, access hatch in the ceiling, that explains that.

...Okay but Martin isn’t entirely wrong with his assessment here? Something strong and nocturnal is right on the nose, and while the werewolf and half-beast-half-humanoid (and I love he uses that word specifically) hybrid guesses aren’t quite right, they aren’t far off the mark. He brought his A game today.

Diana, darling, kids playing practical jokes generally don’t leave fair rides completely demolished in their wake. That is not a normal occurrence.

Java about to eat half-consumed food off the floor like child did Diana not teach you better than that? I wouldn’t be surprised Martin didn’t but Diana?

500 year old saliva. This is the sort’ve ridiculousness I expect from this show. What, did Lady Soulsucker not swallow, spit, or brush her teeth since she escaped her coffin? Was she going around with 500 years of no brushing on her breath? Of course she’s got vampire hypnosis it’s the only way she could get a date.

Vampire goes rwar at children, flees into the sun to escape capture. Also he may need some heavier clothes, those don’t seem to be keeping the sunlight out.

Martin no.

Billy making himself useful. Helping them follow the massive flashing clue that is the vampire’s clothing.

Martin slow your jock-ass down

Martin no, purple isn’t your color.

Okay, can I just say here that Lady Soulsucker looks fucking weird? She looks like a haunted porcelain doll. Or a shitty oc. Here, a theme song to go with her.

Question, why is there a surf shop in the middle of Paris? Is Paris big for surfing? A true French sport?

Oh, yeah, Simone, I forgot her name. It’s very French. Also dude chill.

Diana will not be stopped by some weird hyper-jealous dude.

She also, ya know, looks like a fucking corpse. But yeah, the reflection thing is your first clue something’s up.

He doesn’t see her, he doesn’t hear her, he doesn’t smell the 500-yo morning breath. I claiming him as an anosmiac by the way, the flag is in.

Welp. I can’t decide whether this feeding was more or less extreme than the last one. I mean, this time was pretty fucking hardcore, but last time she demolished an entire fair ride.

Simone, sweetie, have you considered that if you are looking for a specific guy maybe, just maybe, the way to go about it isn’t to just eat whatever random dude happens to be within hypnotizing range? Just a thought?

“He needs help, I’m going in” Martin says right after watching a guy get eaten by a vampire, proving that while he may not be the moron we deserve, he’s the moron we need. Diana, on the other hand, is a voice of reason and doesn’t deserve this shit.

Lucky those clothes were there to break your fall, Martin.

Martin, after dropping from the ceiling into a vampire’s feeding ground, alone: Don’t make me fuck your shit up! Simone, seeing this: Oh yay it’s my moron! Speak of the devil!

Am I saying Gerard was probably just as much an impulsive dumbshit as his great-x-grandson? Yes. Yes I am.

“Clever, and brave.” And a complete moron of a dork. “Just like my Gerard.”

“And just as handsome” it’s nice to see the looks keep in that family? I don’t believe Gerard got the floaty hair though, but his hair looked stupid so really Martin has the advantage there.

Vampire minions are strong, holding back Java with one hand.

Vampire true love is apparently very sparky.

Well Diana, at least you saved the watch.

Martin gets abducted by vampires, Billy immediately must run to the scene.

I’d be impressed with your strength, Java, if those doors hadn’t looked 70% fallen in before you got to them. You could’ve probably gotten the same result from a hearty cough on them.

Gerard=Martin w/o floaty hair or modern fashion. Don’t know why the portrait is in black in white.

You’d think Billy could’ve taken the thirty seconds to read a brief overview about the woman while he waited for Diana and Java, but no.

No wonder Gerard looks weird, there’s not even a splash of warm color in that outfit. And warm tones don’t do Simone any favors. Coordinate your fashion better, people, you’re vampires for fuck’s sake! What would Mike say!

How do we know about genes from a 15th century vampire? Also I note she says ‘relative’ and not ‘descendant’, but I’m not in the mood to dig into that.

Billy you are literally a galactic conqueror, but your big boy underwear on and get in the basement.

Let’s be real, Diana, that’s just a sibling thing. You go into horrible places to save them so you can give them hell about making you go to a horrible place to save them.

How many minions has Simone gotten together? Like, the clan hasn’t been renewed yet, so... When did she get the time? It’s been like 24 hours

Okay, that explains new guy A, what about B and C over there, who look like they stepped out of Robin Hood? where they sealed in with you? Is this the old crew?

Simone, queen of the night and motivational speeches.

Martin you can’t just call on a specific guy, poor thing probably had a heart attack. “Fuck, my Lady’s new consort has beef, fuckfuckfuck” but no, you just want some fucking fries. And Simone is fucking loving it.

Okay, so we know some of them sleep upside down.

It’s nice to see vampires can still be active sleepers.

Hissy vampires on all fours

Vampire!Martin is perfectly fine with being an evil trophy husband

Vampire!Martin standing there like “yeah, you rule the underworld, babe, rocking it!”

“Do you know how much grief I’ll get at Torrington if my stepbrother comes back a vampire?” Would it really be that much more than you get just for having him as a stepbrother in the first place?

A vampire lord consort and yet still, at heart, an annoying brother

Simone: Get me back my fucking moron and we’re all screwed!

Tell me that’s like, Diana or Java’s dirty sock because I’m fairly certain even Martin doesn’t deserve to have his own stuffed in his mouth

And Simone becomes a massive fucking bat beast. Fur, muzzle, little winglet-dealies, big ears, big teeth, no tail...

Okay, yeah, Java’s sock, cool

Those are some seriously dirty windows. Or, well, were.

Sunlight burns everybody but also burns Simone to fucking ash right quick. Which then removes the curse on her victims.

Also I wanna know more about this apparent vampire gene. It is of much interest, especially given next episode will be dealing with werewolves and in some folklore werewolves when killed become vampires, so...

Martin. No.

Amber really. Either you were setting him up or you yourself are dense as teak.

Oh Martin... stick with spies and monsters, honey

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arlingtonpark · 5 years

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SNK 114 Review

Zeke Jeager: Origins! Edition

One of the cool things about this series is that Isayama seems to have a passing interest in sociology. He’s written a series that tries to delve into what makes humans tick and how human interactions work.

I’ve been wary of this series and its potential, rightward leaning politics, but the biggest reason to be hopeful has always been that Isayama has clearly exercised due diligence in researching the sociological aspects he’s writing into the story.

(This sounds hopeful, but what you’re actually reading is the start of a rant about how awful this story is.)

The story has paralleled the Eldians to Jews, and in ways that seem to have gone over people’s heads. Yes, they live in ghettos and wear starred armbands. But it goes much deeper than that.

Racism has its roots in medieval antisemitism. Medieval Christians hated Jews, and do you know why?

Because they thought Jews were children of the devil.

Medieval Europe had a very religious, predominantly Christian, society, and because Jews do not believe in the divinity of Jesus, they were considered suspect. People believed that they were children of the devil. That they did his bidding and were the enemies of God.

And not only that, but a belief took hold in the popular medieval conscious:

That the Jews murdered Jesus Christ of Nazareth.

This charge of deicide was used to justify antisemitic hate; killing Jesus was considered a stain on all Jews for all time. This parallels how Eldians are hated for the past crimes of the Empire.

Isayama has clearly done some homework. He deserves credit for that.

But I fear something sinister may be going on here.

The parallel between Jews and Eldians appears to work, but it actually doesn’t, and that’s because there’s a very important difference.

How much responsibility Jewish authorities have for Jesus’ crucifixion is debated, but in any event, that responsibility would not carry over to future generations. The Catholic Church has explicitly repudiated this notion. (See section 4, para. 6)

Responsibility for the Eldian Empire’s actions, however, as I have repeatedly said before, does in fact carry over. This is not some controversial notion I’m pushing here. It’s political philosophy 101.

The Empire committed its atrocities in the name of the Eldian people. Thus, there is carry over from the imperial era. This doesn’t justify the hate Eldians get, but calling for reparations does not entail hate. Calling for Jews to account for killing Jesus does entail hate because the charge of deicide is a canard; it’s slander.

In any event, the racism Eldians suffer today makes the crimes of the Empire a moot point. But that’s not what the story is saying. The story is saying that the sins of the father should not be visited upon the son. All well and good, but Isayama compares apples to oranges by drawing this Jewish/Eldian parallel.

Now, let’s add a third component to the mix.

Isayama has also paralleled the Eldians to Japanese people. Paradis is very obviously an analog to Japan. An island nation asserting itself on the world stage, yet dogged by past crimes? That’s Japan, but it’s also Paradis, and the hatred directed against Paradis cannot be viewed as separate from the hatred directed against Eldians in general, because it’s the same.

“You’re ancestors committed heinous atrocities in the past and that is a stain on you!”

“Also you’re satanic!”

My take is that Isayama is making a political statement about Japan and its relation vis a vis East Asia. Any attempt by Japan to play a bigger role on the world stage is decried by countries like China and South Korea. They think Japan’s assertiveness is a slippery slope; they fear any outward movement portends a return to imperialism.

This is like Paradis. They try to engage in diplomatic relations, but are stymied by the Empire’s past actions. It’s even revealed that the world’s nations use hatred of Eldians to promote internal stability, just as China and South Korea do with Japan.

And of course there’s that scene between Kaya and Gabi. Gabi tries to guilt trip Kaya over her ancestor’s actions, just like how Japanese people are sometimes guilt tripped by China and South Korea.

On a descriptive level, this parallel works, the problem is that it’s in service to a bullshit normative claim. The claim is that contemporary Japanese/Eldians should not be held to account for the actions of their ancestors.

What I’ve said about Eldian responsibility is true for the Japanese as well. Their Empire committed its crimes in their name. The burden is carried by the Japanese people.

Again, this does not justify hate, but that doesn’t mean we can’t talk about reparations or other forms of atonement. It says a lot about Isayama that he refuses to entertain this notion.

But wait! It gets even worse! Brace yourselves, because I’m about to logic bomb your minds.

Try this classic logical set on for size:

A equals B,

B equals C,

Thus, A equals C.

Now try it again with these stand-ins:

A=Jews.

B=Eldians.

C=Japanese people.

If Eldians are meant to parallel Jews, and Eldians are also meant to parallel Japanese people, then that implies a parallel between Jews and Japanese people!

Go ahead, sit back and try to process the implications of this.

Isayama, whether he intends it or not, draws a parallel between antisemitism and modern anti-japanese sentiment by way of the Eldians. Jews are hated for bullshit crimes past and the story seems to be trying to say that Japanese people are in a similar position.

By using Eldians as a stand in for both Jews and Japanese people, he conflates the two. And that’s awful because they’re not comparable. At all. To even entertain the notion that Jews and Japanese people are in the same boat is insulting!

Just what is Isayama trying to imply here? That the plight of modern Japanese people is comparable to f!@#ing antisemitism?

No! Just NO!!

Jews have had pogroms directed against them for centuries. Nothing comparable to that is happening to Japanese people.

The charge that Jews murdered Jesus was based on a single verse in the Gospel of Matthew, which isn’t corroborated by any of the other three gospels.

The charge that the Japanese Empire committed numerous atrocities in the past is supported by voluminous evidence.

The Rape of Nanjing didn’t happen 1,000 years ago. It didn’t happen 500 years ago. It didn’t even happen 100 years ago. 82 years. That’s how long it’s been.

And it isn’t the case that records are unreliable. It’s not even a case of he said, she said.

The New York Times, Reuters, The Associated Press, The Chicago Daily News, and Paramount Pictures all had reporters on the ground and they saw. the whole. thing. This massacre was reported on contemporaneously.

It happened. It was real. It is not a cudgel wielded by bad people to justify oppression.

It speaks volumes that Isayama is happy to have Eldians embody aspects of both antisemitism and anti-Japanese sentiment.

The more I think about this the more awful it becomes!

According to the framework Isayama has constructed, the canards directed at Jews are equivalent to the allegations of war crimes by the Japanese Empire. Does Isayama even understand what he is saying here?

He’s saying the allegation of Japanese war crimes are equivalent to antisemitic slander! That’s bullshit!

We have the receipts.

Japan committed war crimes.

Thank u, next.

The parallel between Jews and Eldians doesn’t work because there is no carryover in culpability for the former. The parallel between Eldians and Japanese people does work on a descriptive level, but it’s in service of a bullshit normative claim.

And the implied parallel between the Jews and the Japanese is despicable.

…You know, I was prompted to think more deeply about this series and racism by that opening sequence, and things kinda got outta hand…

…so, anyway, chapter 114! Yeah, this is supposed to be a review of that. I forgot.

So this is the chapter we finally get Zeke’s backstory. The curtain has lifted. Let’s see what’s behind it.

Grisha truly is a jackass, isn’t he?

He showed no regard for his son. Putting children through military training is abhorrent by itself, but it was obscene of Grisha to pressure Zeke into it.

He pressured a boy to enlist.

It’s incredible that this sentence doesn’t fully capture the repugnancy of what Grisha did. If his plan succeeds, his son’s life will be drastically shortened. In Grisha’s dumbass mind this is a triumph! A ingenious tactic that will redound throughout time!

In every respect, children are not fully developed. Not mentally, nor physically, nor emotionally. Thus, children are dependent on their parents for protection. What Grisha did was an unspeakable dereliction of his parental duty.

He clearly saw Zeke as a tool. Tools wear down and break, but they can be replaced. That is not a mode of thinking you should apply to a human! Grisha didn’t play with him, display any affection outside of Zeke showing progress in his indoctrination.

I mean, FFS, the tool analogy may actually be too kind. There are gearheads who show more affection to their tools than Grisha did to his boy. (Those people are a different kind of weird, though)

But you know what’s especially awful? It’s Grisha’s sheer egomania.

“I know you can become a warrior. […] You’re our boy.”

“You can do it! You’re our child, after all!!”

*Zeke fails* “Dammit! It’s not supposed to be like this!”

Yes! Zeke, you are the product of my loins! You were born from the marriage of your mother’s flesh with my perfect body! *proceeds to explain human reproduction in exquisite detail* So you see, Zeke, you are a slice taken from the golden pie of the Goddess, Ymir! You cannot lose!

Whenever Grisha praises Zeke, he’s not actually praising Zeke. He’s praising himself. Zeke is going to succeed because he has that Jeager DNA in him. What a hypocrite!

If there’s any justice in this world, this will be written on his tombstone:

He pressured his boy to enlist in the military, pursue a goal that would shorten his life, and told him to do it for his race. Grisha cared about the Eldian people over his own flesh and blood. That is what classic nationalism looks like.

But what’s ironic is that the classic example of nationalism run amok belongs to Zeke and Marley. Children ratting out their parents to the secret police is a classic nationalist trope (Warning: disturbing af content) and what Zeke did to his parents is an example of that. Or at least that’s what the Marleyans think.

In reality Zeke did it for self-preservation. It was cold and loveless, but then again, what goes around comes around. Sorry, Grish, (that’s my nickname for him) but what can I say? Life comes at you fast.

But as terrible as Grish is, I don’t think I agree with Mr. Xaver blaming Grish for putting his family in danger. Blame for that belongs with Marley for having such an unjust punishment for treason.

It’s not just you that’s punished. Your whole immediate family goes with you.

I get the point. Targeting the family is meant to discourage would-be rebels. Isayama is probably referencing North Korea with that.

But Grish being so callous in how he rebels is separate from his choice to rebel at all. His family was placed in danger because Marley doesn’t recognize the basic rights that it should, not because of Grish.

Now it makes sense why Zeke cares so much about Mr. Xaver. His father was cold and callous. Zeke walks home and sees the life he doesn’t have: a fun one. One where he plays with his dad. Then this stranger comes into his life and starts giving Zeke just that: play time. Fun. Affection.

Affection! Mr. Xaver compliments him on his talents. He compliments him as talented in his own right; not as a Jeager, but as Zeke Jeager. Did Grisha ever do that?

I don’t think he ever has. In the entire series.

Xaver was the father Zeke never had. And Zeke was the son Xaver never had. Is it hard to imagine Mr. Xaver looking at that same father and son Zeke saw, and feeling the same way?

Of course not. They completed each other. They may as well have been family.

Actually, no, they were family. Zeke trusted him enough to tell him about his parent’s secret. And Mr. Xaver helped Zeke instead of turning him in. This is what unconditional love looks like.

I love the imagery of Mr. Xaver picking up the baseball and it has the blood of his family on it. It was such a poignant and even brilliant metaphor. Mr. Xaver playing catch with Zeke was not as innocent a game as it seemed. It was (metaphorically) a blood-stained affair.

So now we’re at the big reveal.

Zeke’s plan the whole time: kill everyone.

I don’t like it.

Not only that, but this plan is sooo played out at this point.

The first villains of the series were the titans. Their goal? Kill everyone.

Next it was the titan shifters. Their goal (as far as we knew)? Kill Everyone.

Then it was the First King. His goal? Kill everyone.

Then it was Marley. Their goal? Kill all the Eldians.

And now Zeke? It’s to fucking kill all the Eldians!

Why does every villain just want to kill a lot of people?

This is very bad.

It is a travesty that this series has made Zeke a genocidal lunatic because now the door is wide open for this series to make an endorsement of right-wing nationalism. One of the biggest reasons to be hopeful that wouldn’t happen was that it seemed the right-wing nationalists, led by Zeke, would be the final enemy.

That’s gone now.

Now Eren Jeager, right-wing nationalist asshole supreme, is poised to be cast as the hero.

I’ve said before that Isayama uses Eldians, and especially Paradis, as a stand-in for Japan. Well, if that’s true, then the debate that’s been ongoing on Paradis over the Wall Titans can only be read one way: as an analog to the debate, such that it is, over whether Japan should obtain nuclear weapons.

My read on the Wall Titans is that they are an analog to the atomic bomb. They’re described in-story as being a weapon of mass destruction whose power will never be topped. Just as it is with nuclear weapons, once the Wall Titans are deployed, you cannot stop them.

You can only pray that you live.

Colossal Titans in general are associated images of nuclear explosions and their aftermath. Whenever we see what the aftermath of the Wall Titans coming through looks like, we see a flattened terrain. It is eerily reminiscent of the aftermath of the Hiroshima and Nagasaki bombings.

Japan has been able to build atomic bombs for decades now, but has chosen to forego this. Unsurprisingly, obtaining a weapon whose destructive power is popularly measure in Hiroshimas and Nagasakis is not something the Japanese people are keen on.

The Japanese people overwhelmingly oppose the nuclearization of their country. Supporting this is a fringe position that only right-wing nationalists support.

Which is why I say this:

If the final conflict comes down to Eren vs. Zeke, with Eren wanting to use the Wall Titans to defend the Eldians and Zeke wanting to use the Founding Titan to wipe them all out, and the story endorses the former, then that unambiguously places the series on the fringes of Japanese political opinion.

Hell, it would place the series outside the bounds of reasonable debate. Japan nuclearizing would be disastrously stupid. It would enflame regional tensions and could even lead to a nuclear arms race. It would be a travesty for Isayama to endorse that even by accident.

Just as the right-wing nationalists want Japan to nuclearize so they have a deterrent against enemies, it may be the case that SNK ends with Eren using the Wall Titans as a deterrent against Marley. In doing so, the series will be demonstrating the benefits of having weapons of mass destruction.

Except, ya know, WMDs have no benefits.

It wouldn’t surprise me if using the Wall Titans in this way is Eren’s position. While it is true I’ve been assuming Zeke’s plan is to use the Wall Titans, in hindsight, Zeke never actually indicated that.

But you know who was the first one to propose using the Wall Titans?

Eren.

He did it while explaining what he thought Zeke’s plan was, but I bet money that in that moment he was projecting. He wants to use the Wall Titans and he projected his own preferences onto the tabula rasa that was Zeke’s plan.

So that’s the political implications out of the way, but this is to say nothing of the dearth of creativity this is. The villains have been people who want to kill Eldians. How much more of a twist would it have been if the final villain wanted to kill everyone but the Eldians? That would’ve been different.

Zeke’s plan is pure evil. The lives of Eldians is so awful they’re better off dead? Who the fuck is he to decide that!

He has no right. He’s just like his father. Taking people’s destinies for himself and making decisions for them. He tried to avoid becoming like his father, but now he’s essentially Grisha 2.0. He claims to be doing this out of love, but he doesn’t really love the Eldians. This is not a kindness. This is him demonstrating super-Grish levels of egomania.

Not only is Zeke worse than Grish, he’s worse then King Fritz! Fritz thought Eldians were better off dead, but at least he didn’t actually try to kill them all. Even though he could have. In a very twisted act of kindness, he even took some to live in relative peace on Paradis.

Zeke isn’t having any of that. He’s not interested in singing kumbaya around a campfire, he wants to skip straight to the killing.

Zeke is just done. Fuck that. Dying would be the easy way out. If living in this world is hell for him, then by God, he should be forced to live as long as possible. I’m sure that’ll be eminently possible once someone actually deals with the issue here.

Speaking of death, I wonder if Levi is dead.

Even if he wasn’t mortally wounded by the explosion, he’s not going to be in good shape.

And look at his trajectory. He’s going to land in the river.

The raging river.

The ice cold, raging river.

With open wounds!

And he’ll be disoriented from the explosion on top of being thrown about by the current and the shock from the cold.

This may be too much for him.

…

COMMENCE PRAYER CIRCLE!

#snk 114 #snk chapter 114 #shingeki no kyojin #attack on titan

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