#bean juice why don't you work on me

[hiddenworldofmary]

four coffees and all i want is sleep

also i spent 50 minutes trying to hunt down a book and discovered its crazy expensive and the nearest library that has it is 290km away

#bean juice why don't you work on me #i did some of the things i was supposed to do but i think its the chess that pushed me to it idk how #also i know the digital library exists but i want it off the screen #mine #coffee #chaotic academia #dark academia #ALSO fuck amazon i canceled my calendar order which they now (after 9 days) claim they lost and they will give me money back #never ordering from that website again idk how americans tolerate it also packages outside??? seems very unsafe #ordered again from the japanese website and the sweet people APOLOGIZED that it will take a week to deliver across half the world #i want to hug them all i should have ordered from there to begin with but i wanted the calendar fast #boy was i wrong

[theonewiththefanfics]

The Panic of Love (one-shot)

Synopsis: Emotions don't come easy to Carmen. They never have. But when his feelings come to a boiling point, it's not like a pot on a stove you can close. They spill out. And change everything. The question is - is he ready to face that change?

Pairing: Carmen (Carmy) barzatto x fem!roommate!Reader

Genre: fluff, a bit of angst, SMUT (softest smut I've ever written)

Warnings: swearing, Carmy being hard on himself, SMUT

Word count: 7929

The weather channel was a goddamned fucking liar, and the weatherman too.

When Y/N finally entered The Bear, she was soaked to the bone, teeth chattering, and every possible expletive on the tip of her tongue because all the weatherman had said was it’d be cloudy. Not a fucking hurricane in sight. What a load of bullshit that had been.

It was a Saturday, her day off, unlike Carmen’s, the man who’d been her roommate for the past year, and when he’d left early in the morning, the Chicago sky still dark and void of any sun rays, she’d said she’d stop by for some of Marcus’s doughnuts and maybe a sandwich to take back home.

Carmen had raised a brow at her. “You know if you want a sandwich, all you have to do is ask, right?”

Y/N scoffed, rolling over and snuggling into her pillow. “You spend your whole day cooking food. I’m not going to make you work when you’re home.”

“No, really, I don’t mind –,”

“Nope.” She just shook her head. “Home is for relaxing, not working. Besides, kinda wanted to go on a walk today anyway. This will give me a reason to.”

Now though she wanted the weather channel to get struck by lightning. And the weatherman too.

“Well, you look like you just crawled out of a sewer,” Richie, Carmen’s cousin who he run The Bear with, said with a smirk.

The thunder that rumbled outside matched the look on Y/N’s face. “Fuck off, maybe?”

Richie just chuckled. “Coffee?”

“Yes please,” she sighed and eyed the menu above. She’d been to The Bear a few times, even before she’d gotten Carmen as a roommate, but always liked to try something new. Maybe a staple this time. “Carmy said Marcus was working on some doughnuts?”

Richie hummed in confirmation while he poured her a to-go cup of steaming bean juice. “Just in time for the batch to come out, actually.”

And it was like those had been the magic words as she saw Carmen with a big pan enter the front of the house, placing the still-warm circles of heaven behind the glass. He was about to rush back into the kitchen, but he lifted his gaze for just a split second, Y/N’s Y/E/C eyes meeting his striking blue ones, and stopped dead in his tracks.

“The fuck happened to you?” His tone wasn’t harsh, more so concerned as she surveyed her from where she was leaving an unmistakable puddle underneath her.

“Went for a swim?” She shrugged. “There was nothing in the morning news about a bloody tsunami, so I didn’t take an umbrella. It only started raining when I was halfway here. It’s not like I was gonna turn back around.”

Richie put her coffee on the countertop with a smirk, as he eyed Y/N and his cousin. He turned his mischievous eyes towards her. “How many?”

“Four,” she replied, putting her hand in the inside pocket of her jacket where her wallet sat. Even that was soaked through. “And the Italian beef sandwich as well, please.”

Carmen stood there, his arms crossed over his chest, and Y/N couldn’t deny that the way his biceps flexed was anything short of salivating worthy, so much so she had to avert her gaze towards the box Richie was filling.

“You gonna make her the sandwich, cousin?”

“Not if she plans on going home with it.”

“Why not?” Y/N snapped her head towards him, her tone like an offended child’s.

Carmen scoffed. “As if I’d ever let you go out in that torrential rain.” He nudged with his chin to the weather outside. “Give me a plate, she’ll have it in my office.”

“Carmy, I’m not the Wicked Witch of the West. I won’t melt.” Y/N sighed but gave him a soft smile.

His own lips tugged up at the corners, voice much more gentle now. “And I’m not gonna let you get sick. Now come on. You can eat the sandwich in the office and put the clothes on the heaters to dry out. I have some spare ones I can give you.”

“Bear,” she started, but he already had put the made sandwich on the plate and was waiting for her to follow.

With a deep sigh, Y/N hung her head and grabbed the box of doughnuts and her coffee.

“Sorry for the puddle,” she said over her shoulder to Richie.

“Nah, it’s fine. I’ll just tell everyone you peed yourself.”

All Y/N did was flip him the bird before entering the kitchen.

She’d met the chefs a few times when Carmen had invided her to family, and she truly loved each and every one of them. Sydney, Tina, and Sugar had even added Y/N to their group chat, but their interactions in real life were limited to moments like these or when they came to Carmen’s and her apartment to try out some new recipe on a day off. Carmen usually regretted introducing his roommate to them because absolute chaos reigned then.

“You do know swimming in clothes is dangerous, right?” Marcus called from the back of the kitchen where he was rolling out some dough.

“Ha ha, very funny. Just remember,” she shook the box in her hands in his direction. “The fate of your doughnut recipe is in my hands.”

“Be gentle with me, I’m sensitive,” Marcus said, making Y/N snort, and Sydney rolled her eyes from where she was concentrating on chopping up some vegetables but waving at her in greeting nonetheless.

“Don’t you look like a New York rat,” Sugar chuckled as she appeared from the freezer, Tina on her toes.

“Thanks, it’s my new aesthetic,” Y/N batted her eyelashes, and she would’ve continued to stand there and talk with everyone else had Carmen not nudged her in the side and wrapped an arm around her waist, turning her towards the office.

“You need to get in some dry clothes, and then you can blabber about. Don’t need you to catch death.”

Y/N looked at him, raising a brow. “Yes, because I act as if I’m dying when I get the sniffles. Not you. No, never you.”

“Just get in the office.” But the smile on Carmen’s face was unmistakable.

He placed her sandwich on top of a stack of papers, not really caring about them and went to rummage in his backpack where he’d put a spare pair of sweats and a jumper, he’d worn underneath his jacket that morning. Winter was approaching Chicago, so layering was starting to become a standard.

Carmen sat down on the chair, untying the laces of her boots. “Come on, step out of them. Socks too.”

Y/N did as told and tried to keep her thoughts at a PG-13 kind of a place, but Carmen, almost on his knees before her, did horrible things to her mind. Horrible, terrible, salacious, delicious things.

She put her hands on his shoulders and rested against them, hopping out of the squelching boots and letting him put some warm woollen socks on her feet he’d also placed in the backpack with him.

Once that was done, he went to the heater and put the wet boots and socks below it, giving Y/N the change of clothes and showing where the bathroom was.

When she was back in his office, not without a sly look from Syd, to which she just grumbled, “Don’t you dare start,” he pointed at the chair and made her sit down.

“Now you’ll eat your sandwich and doughnuts, drink your coffee, and I’ll let you leave only when the rain stops,” he instructed her like she was one of his chefs.

“But I feel bad,” Y/N whined. “It’s already shitty enough I’ve intruded on you and taken you away from work, I don’t want to inconvenience you more as is.”

His brow furrowed immediately at her words. “Don’t say that. You’re never an inconvenience, you hear? Never.”

For a moment, it seemed like he was going to say something more, but shook his head no. “Eat your food, drink your coffee and relax, okay?”

“Okay,” Y/N whispered back with a gentle smile, her heart thudding just a bit harder against her ribcage at his words, at his caring. “Thank you, Bear.”

With a small nod and a smile, he left Y/N and ventured back into the chaos of The Bear’s kitchen.

Suddenly, the sandwich tasted a million times better.

***

When he finally got home, Carmen was exhausted. Those couple of hours Y/N had spent at The Bear with him were the most reprieve he’d had from stress in ages. Though he was upset she’d gotten soaked through and not looking forward to the cold she was gonna get after braving that weather, he couldn’t deny the warmth that’d settled in his chest when he’d seen her face at the front of the house. However, all those warm feelings turned into dust when he saw what Y/N had made for herself for dinner.

“What the fuck is that?”

Y/N jumped back from the fridge, a hand against her heart. “Jesus fucking Christ, Carmy! You scared me shitless. When did you come home?”

“I asked, what the fuck is that?” His eyes didn’t waver away from the plate on the counter. Two string cheeses, five pickles, a Reeces Pieces cup, a dollop of Biscoff spread and some breadsticks. It was like the world’s worst charcuterie board to which Y/N was just about to add two slices of pepperoni.

As if in slow motion, Y/N turned her head to look at the plate and then back at him. “Girl dinner?” the statement came out more like a question.

“Girl what?”

“You know, girl dinner.” She shrugged, closing the fridge, and plopping the round pieces of meat onto it.

“No,” he shook his head. “Absolutely not. First, you come to the restaurant soaking wet and probably have pneumonia, and now this sort of bullshit? Not on my watch.”

He tried to reach for the plate, but Y/N was quicker, grabbing it and sprinting underneath Carmy to the sofa.

“Y/N, give it to me, and I’ll make you something of substance.”

“This is substance.” She popped a pickle in her mouth and chewed it.

Carmen huffed, placing his hands on his hips. “Why the hell are you so against me making you some normal food, yet instead you eat… that.”

“What do you mean by that? This is a fully balanced meal – main course,” she pointed at the savory things, “and dessert,” at the sweet things. “Perfectly balanced as all things should be.”

“Don’t quote Thanos at me,” Carmen shook his head. “That’s not doing you any favors right now. Now, give that to me, and I’ll make anything you want.”

Y/N moved the plate behind herself, still standing atop the couch and squinting at him in a challenge. “Make me.”

Something rushed through his body, a flash of heat so intense it almost took his breath away. And call him crazy, but he was almost a hundred per cent sure he saw something glint in her eyes as well, a certain need, but he shook those thoughts away.

Carmen sighed and hung his head. “Please give that plate to me, okay?”

“And what if I want my pickles and cheese?”

“Why do you want to torture me? What did I ever do to you?” but he said that with a chuckle, and his heart skipped a beat as a smile bloomed on Y/N’s face.

“And I told you in the morning,” she hopped off the couch and popped a half a Reece’s in her mouth, “I will not let you cook for me. You’ve done enough of that at work, so sit down and just relax. I won’t perish like some sickly Victorian child if I don’t have proper dinner every now and then.”

He glowered as she passed him and poured herself a cup of water. “And how many times have you exactly had this “girl dinner?””

They continued on like that for close to two weeks – he’d get home, and Y/N would rush to hide what was on her plate before he scolded her. It all came crashing down one evening when he’d walked inside the bathroom, ready to take a shower after a gruelling day at work when he noticed the changes.

“Y/N?” he called out, still holding the shirt and pants he’d taken off in his hands, eyes scanning the little shelf of his stuff. “Can you please come in here?”

He heard the quick pattering of feet before a breathless Y/N appeared around the corner, a strappy sleep top and shorts on with a half-eaten pickle in her hand. Her and her damned pickles. “What? What’s wrong?”

“That.” He nudged his chin towards the shelf. “Where’s all my stuff?”

“That is your stuff.”

“No,” his brow furrowed. “I literally have one shampoo bottle. This is like – twenty different things. Where did they come from?”

She rolled her eyes. “It’s not twenty, it’s exactly how many one person needs. Besides, you ran out. So, I went to the store and got you some.”

Carmen stammered, still scanning the bottles, but his heart was beating faster in his chest now. She’d gotten them for him without him even asking. She’d thought of him when she’d gone out to the store. He stuttered for a second before looking at the girl leaning against the door frame, chewing on the last bits of the pickle. “At – at least let me pay you back.”

“Absolutely not,” she scoffed, truly offended now. “You don’t let me eat "girl dinner", which, by the way, I enjoy, but I digress. So, don’t think I’m gonna let you use that 10-in-1 abomination." She pointed at two matching bottles. "Shampoo and conditioner, both specifically for curly hair because god knows what you’ve been doing to them is abuse. Body wash and face wash, and no, they cannot be used interchangeably.” She pointed at the other two bottles, explaining what was what and turning around to where on the towel rack three fluffy ones had been placed, all different sizes and colors. “A towel for your body, one for your hair and one for your face.”

“That’s way too many towels.”

“No, that’s precisely the right amount of towels,” she emphasized.

“Y/N…”

“Okay, fine. If you don’t want any of this, no problem.” She shrugged. “Can I go eat my pickles and cheese strings then?”

Immediately, his exasperated look turned into a dark scowl. “Don’t you fucking dare.” He’d already popped a handmade pizza in the oven and had simply allowed Y/N to snack in the meantime. No "girl dinner" on his watch.

All Y/N did was smirk. “Thought so. It’s called a compromise, Carmy,” she squeezed his bicep. “You take care of me, I take care of you, simple as that. Besides, I ran out of my stuff, so it made sense to pick up some stuff for you too.”

And with a peck on his cheek, Y/N left the bathroom, going to rummage in her closet for a blanket for their movie night. But Carmen just stood there, looking at the place where she’d just been.

You take care of me, I take care of you.

Those words echoed in his head like a broken record.

But that’s what they had been doing for one another, wasn’t it? He took care of her, she took care of him.

He made sure she ate proper food and gave her some spare clothes that one morning so she wouldn’t have to brave the rain and get sick. He’d let her stay in the office, clad in his jumper and sweats as she waited for her socks and shoes to dry out. He held her on the nights when the heating turned off in the apartment, and she was shivering in her bed. He helped her through insomnia-filled nights Y/N tended to have when stress from work wound her up to the point she could barely function even though he was dead tired himself.

And Y/N... she always made sure he didn’t bottle up his emotions. She was there for him, listened to his rants, held him when he needed just that, and made sure he always had food in the fridge, not just some pathetic scraps he put together for his own meals. She helped him do the laundry and never complained when instead of their set movie night, he simply came home and collapsed half on top of her on the sofa, dead tired from the shift at The Bear, running her hands over his tired muscles and letting him drift off to sleep in her safe embrace.

They took care of one another.

But not just that.

No.

Not for him.

Because Carmen knew - to him it meant so much more.

He knew he was completely in love with her and would do anything to make sure she was happy.

He peeked out from the bathroom and into the living room, looking at Y/N, how she flitted around the room, leaving chaos behind herself, but god, did he love that chaos. Carmen hadn’t even realized up until that moment, how much he wanted to see her strewn about clothes on the couch, her scattered shoes and used mugs on the countertops. Because it made him feel like he was truly home. Not just in a house he stayed at. Home.

She was his home.

Carmen had entered the living room, standing by the couch and watching how Y/N pulled the pizza out of the oven, dicing up some basil to sprinkle on the still bubbling cheese and tomato sauce while adding some burger sauce on the half she’d claimed as hers, leaving Carmen’s half free for him to add what he wanted.

She turned around in search of the pizza cutter and lifted her eyes, their gazes locking. “You okay, Bear?”

He just stood there, unable to move or speak as his mind ran a mile a minute. And then a string wrapped around his chest and started to tighten. And he couldn’t breathe anymore.

Carmen doesn’t remember when exactly he dropped to his knees, pain shooting up his legs from smashing onto the tiled kitchen floor, but he didn’t drop fully. Y/N’s hands were instantly on his shoulders, palms rushing to cup his face as she tried to figure out what was going on. He didn’t doubt she found pure panic in his eyes. Instantly, she knew what to do.

“Breathe with me, okay?” She took his palm and pressed it to the centre of her chest, his fingers splayed against the skin. “Just breathe.”

And he tried to mimic her, focus on how her chest rose and fell, matching his own breathing to Y/N’s. Feel how her heart beat underneath her skin.

Pathetic, he thought. He can’t even tell the girl he’s in love with his feelings without having a full-blown panic attack.

“Carmy, breathe,” she soothed, pulling his forehead to hers, letting him ground himself in the physical contact Y/N provided. She was solid. Real. There.

Bit by bit, he felt the huge wave of panic recede, but it lingered, like a tsunami waiting to break and rip everything away in its wake.

“What happened?” her voice was low as if she was talking to a wild animal afraid to spook it. “What brought this on?”

“I don’t – I,” he took in greedy gulps of air as Y/N rubbed his back. “I can’t…”

Because he couldn’t. It would ruin everything, wouldn’t it? They had such a good thing going not only as roommates, but as friends, and him confessing he was in love would just shatter that bit of normalcy, and stability he’d managed to create.

Besides, Y/N would never feel the same way about him. Yes, she was kind and sweet and always made sure Carmen took care of himself, but that’s just who she was as a person.

Her grip on the back of his neck tightened, stopping the spiral his mind was falling into.

“Talk to me.” She whispered. “Please, Carmy, talk to me. I need to know what happened so I can help you.”

“I can’t tell you,” he finally got out in between gasps of air. “I can’t. Please don’t make me say it.”

He was shaking his head, but not pulling away. Not that she’d let him, as her nails slowly and gently scraped along the nape of his neck.

“What’s so bad that you can’t tell me?” Y/N murmured.

“It’s not,” he huffed, trying to get a grip on his words. “It’s not bad… I – I don’t think it’s bad…”

“Then why can’t you tell me?”

He bit down hard on his lip, taking a moment to collect himself. “Because it will change things. And I’m scared of how it could change.”

“But change isn’t always so bad. Just look at The Bear, look at how good the restaurant is doing.”

“This is nothing like the restaurant.”

“Then how is it?”

He thought for a moment, eyes closed, focusing on Y/N and her presence.

“Bear, please talk to me. You just had a fucking panic attack seemingly from nowhere, and I’m – I’m scared,” she pleaded.

His eyes snapped up to meet her incredibly worried ones, and yes, scared. She tried to read whatever was on his face, to find an explanation as to what had set it off.

“I – I’m terrified. I’m so fucking terrified,” he whispered.

“It’s okay to feel that way. But I’m here, okay? I won’t let you go through this alone.”

He took in a shuddering breath, breaking their eye contact because he couldn’t do it, not if she was looking at him so intensely. The words were barely audible, but she most definitely heard them. “I’m in love with you.”

There. He’d said it, and he couldn’t take those words back. They were out in the open, and the ball was in Y/N’s court. But to his surprise, her forehead didn't move from his. He could feel the light puffs of air as she breathed out, a slight stutter in the pattern. “And why were you so scared to tell me that?”

“I – I don’t,” and his brain started to swirl again, but Y/N was there, her gentle fingers playing with the small hairs at the nape of his neck, grounding him back in reality. Carmen took a deep breath. “I’m so scared. Of what you’ll say. I can’t lose you, I can’t lose one more person I love. But I also know you deserve so much better than what I can offer. I’m a mess. I can’t afford much. I can’t give you what you deserve. I can barely deal with my emotions, and I have so many issues I sometimes wonder how I’m not completely on my own… But… and I know how selfish this sounds, but I don’t want you to want better… I want you to want me the same way I want you… how need you.”

“Carmy,” Y/N sighed brushing her hand against his cheek. “You will never lose me, alright? Never. As long as you want me around you, I’ll be here. I think you could kill someone, and I’d be there for you to help and get rid of the body. As for that other thing…” she bit her lip. “I don’t think I could ever find anything better than you. Nor do I want to. Not when I already have found you.”

That’s when his eyes finally opened, her Y/E/C ones gazing at him. She gave him a shy smile. “Call us two pathetic clichés for falling for the roommate, but the thought of you going on a date with someone else would probably send me into a complete spiral. Because I do want you the same way you want me. If you’ll have me.”

And that horrible, suffocating tightness in Carmen’s chest released. It was like after years of barely breathing, he could finally get a breath in, and the air tasted so fresh, so filling, it was intoxicating. A drowning man finally coming up for air.

“Yeah?”

“Yeah,” Y/N chuckled, her thumb brushing against his cheek. “I don’t buy shampoos and body washes and all that shit just for anyone. They were fucking expensive.”

His responding laughter was light. He felt so fucking light, it was amazing.

“I really want to kiss you,” Carmen’s voice was more confident, though still tentative as if he was afraid to push further and cross some boundary, eyes flitting to the ground.

He could hear her small intake of breath before Y/N said, “Well, I’m definitely not ever going to be opposed to that.”

Gradually, his palms roved over her waist and settled against her cheeks, their eyes not breaking away from one another.

Another wave of fear rushed through him, but when Y/N’s fingers splayed themselves against the small of his back, trying to push him closer to her, those fears were diminished. For a minute, he just breathed her in, drank in the feeling of having her so close to him, but when he finally kissed her, when he finally had her lips against his, he pretty much melted. The way her hands wove around his neck and into his hair, as if Y/N couldn’t get closer to him if she tried, was as close to heaven as he’d ever get in this life.

“Can I take you to bed?” His head was spinning as he pulled back for a breath, lips craving to be put back on Y/N’s, but he’d die if he at least didn’t ask. Carmen was trembling so bad he had to bury his face in her neck for a moment to steel himself.

“Are you sure?” Y/N asked, breathless, chest heaving, fingers digging into the bare muscles of his back. 

She knew he’d never had a relationship, and what he’d just done – the confession, the kiss - had been a huge step on its own. But when he finally pulled back, and she scanned his eyes, looked deep into them, Carmen knew all she saw was one hundred per cent conviction. He couldn’t deny the pleasure it elicited in him as he felt a shiver run through Y/N’s body at that, her pupils blowing so wide it almost swallowed the Y/E/C color, two black desire-filled pools devouring him.

“Never been more sure of anything.” His voice was low, and soft, but steady, unlike his heart.

Her responding kiss was more than enough of an answer.

Carmen was shirtless, so he thought it to be only fair if he rid Y/N of her shirt, but she was a lot quicker and had it yanked over her head in a split second, so much so he barely noticed the disconnect between their lips, and then she was back on him again. They kissed for a little bit more before he practically itched to take it to the bed.

He wrapped his arms around her waist and helped her stand, and Y/N hissed.

Worry instantly ate at him, making him pull back and scan her from head to toe. “What’s wrong?”

She straightened out, rubbing at her knees. “Making out on the kitchen tiles does nothing for your knees.”

Once again, that tightness starting to coil around his heart, released as he intertwined their fingers and led her to his room. It was simply closer. Carmen could have done with the couch, but he thought she deserved their first time to be on an actual bed where he could properly show just how deep his feelings ran. If saying what he felt was so difficult, maybe showing would be easier for him.

Along the way, he’d rid her of her bra, letting his hands explore Y/N’s body and figuring out what made her sigh and moan and what she didn’t like, so he could focus on doing exactly what made her lose her mind.

He helped her shimmy out of her shorts and threw them somewhere over his shoulder as they stumbled into the room, and she plopped backwards onto the bed.

Carmen leaned over her, hands resting by her head while Y/N pulled him back down to kiss him again. He knew his vices, like cigarettes, but this had to be the newest one, the strongest one he knew he’d never be able to quit now that he’d gotten a taste. Never wanted to quit.

A shrill ring stopped them dead in their tracks. It took him a moment to understand it was his phone ringing.

“Stupid fucking piece of shit,” he grumbled as he peeled himself off Y/N and rummaged through his jacket pockets to find the offending piece of technology. Not even looking at who was calling, he turned the phone completely off so there were no more disturbances.

When he turned back around, he found Y/N kicking her underwear to the ground and crawling onto the duvet.

“I wanted to do that,” he murmured, seeing her naked on his bed.

Y/N raised a brow. “Would you like me to put them back on?”

“Absolutely fucking not, I’m not an idiot.”

Her responding smile made his heart soar.

In an instant, he was back atop her, kissing and grabbing at whatever he could before he slowly traveled down. Carmen relished in the hitch in her breath and the soft way she pleaded his name.

He could spend forever like that – worshipping against her skin. He didn’t need water, didn’t need food or anything else as long as Y/N allowed him to do stay by her side.

Digging his fingers into her thighs, Carmen spread them wide as he made his way down her body before he found himself right where he’d wanted to be for ages now.

“Carmy, wait,” she breathed out, and he instantly stopped, worry blooming in his chest.

“I -,” she huffed. “I want tonight to be about you. It should be about you, not me.”

 “Oh, believe me,” he smiled, kissing and biting down on the inside of her thigh before soothing the bite with a kiss, and Y/N’s hips were already rolling up to meet his mouth. “All of this is for me.”

She could do nothing but whimper out, “All for you, only you, Bear,” and let her eyes roll to the back of her head as he finally put his mouth on her.

Maybe later on, he’d confess how many times he’d actually thought about that moment, of having Y/N’s legs over his shoulders with her hands brushing his hair out of his face and tugging at the strands. How he’d dreamt of letting his tongue lick into her and finally taste the best dessert on the planet. Or how he’d once seen her early in the morning with nothing but one of his shirts, that’d gotten mixed up in the wash, a simple pair of cotton panties on and nothing else. He’d had to go back inside the shower and jerk himself off, otherwise, he’d be sporting a raging hard-on for the rest of the day.

But now – now he’d just be enjoying the moment. Revelling in how Y/N’s heels dug into his back, how she tried to pull him closer to herself as if she wanted them to mould together. Relishing in how her nails scraped against his scalp, his tongue circling around her clit while her hips gently rolled against him in a slow rhythm. But most importantly – how she sang his name like a prayer, how she sighed and moaned it into the night air, a symphony only for him to hear.

“Carmy, shit!” Y/N gasped when two thick digits joined and slowly slid inside her.

He lifted two lustful eyes to watch how her mouth dropped open, breasts heaving, and nipples hardened to points, but the most divine moment was when she opened her eyes and looked down at him.

Their gazes met, and it took just a couple of thrusts of his fingers for the Y/E/C eyes to roll to the back of her head, and she was squeezing tight around him, cumming with a moan of his name.

Carmen didn’t let go. He helped her ride out the high, tongue licking and sucking everything Y/N offered like he’d been a man in a drought. Only when she gently tugged his head away, did he let go of her swollen clit.

“Too much,” she whispered out, trying to regain some sense of bearing while he kissed the inside of her thighs. He rested a cheek against one while she carded her fingers through his hair, strands stuck to his sweaty skin.

Finally, Y/N glanced down at him. She extended an awaiting hand. “C’mere please.”

Carmen couldn’t say no. He’d never be able to say no to her. He didn’t want to. If she asked him to kiss her, he’d kiss her breathless. If she asked him to drop to his knees, he’d worship the ground she walked on. If she asked him to say he loved her, he’d give his heart to her on a silver platter. Or maybe not. It was already in her hands, and for the first time in his life, he knew someone would carry it on velvet hands, take care of it, and love it like he’d so desperately hoped.

Y/N moaned when his tongue invaded her mouth, hands cradling his face, the remnants of her orgasm still on his tongue. Her hands grabbed at his ass as if offended he was still in his boxers as she pushed her fingers behind the band and tried to shimmy them off him.

A light chuckle escaped him at her frustration, so to stop her torture, he helped her out by removing the last bit of clothing left between them. Now they were skin to skin with nothing else separating the two.

“Condom?” she asked.

“Shit, I don’t have any,” he muttered, pulling back from the kiss.

“Neither do I.”

For a moment, everything stood still. “Listen, we don’t have to do this,” he said, nervousness overtaking his body. “I don’t want you to feel like you have to just because of what happened right now.”

“I mean,” she huffed, playing with the hair on the back of his neck. “I’m clean. Are – are you?”

Carmen snorted. “I think it’s fair to say, I am clean since I haven’t been with anyone in forever… not like this.” Another wave of anxiety rolled over him, but Y/N instantly quenched his fears of inadequacy that threatened to overtake him.

“I mean, maybe you’re some midnight Casanova I just don’t know about it.”

That made him smile, and a little bit of anxiety left him.

“We don’t have to go any further than this if you don’t want to, but I’m on the pill, and I don’t mind.” She pecked his lips. “We go at your pace.”

“And what if – what if I want to go further? What if I want it to be with you? All of it with you?”

He saw Y/N swallow and nod. “Then we go however far you want. Just as long as you’re sure about it.”

“I just…” He struggled to find the words before settling on a thought. “Can you just… guide me?” he asked, brushing a finger against her collarbone. “Help me make you feel good?”

“It should be good for you too. So…” She pulled him down for a kiss, biting on his lower lip and making him groan. “Don’t worry too much about me. You just gave me the best head I’ve ever had. Now I want you to feel good too.”

Carmen just nodded before he leaned down and placed soft kisses against her neck. He was so overwhelmed by love, by the care Y/N showed him, that he thought he might cry, but she didn’t let him get to it.

When soft hands wrapped around his length, he automatically thrust into the palm, pleasure running through his blood.

She guided him closer, and he took it as a sign to slowly run his cock through her folds. Y/N was already wet from her first orgasm, but as he nudged himself inside, he saw her wince.

“I’m sorry,” he immediately apologized, but she shushed him.

“Just take it slow.” She gave him a small smile. “It’s okay.”

He swallowed. “Are you sure?”

Y/N nodded, giving him a kiss. “It’s just been a while.”

“I don’t want to hurt you.”

“You’re not gonna hurt me.” Y/N placed her palm against his cheek. “You could never hurt me.”

After a moment of reassurance, he locked his eyes on her face once more and slowly started to push in again. She helped along, angling her hips a bit more up as he slowly, taking his time, let himself slide into her, Y/N’s walls stretching and adjusting to his girth and length. Carmen felt every ripple, every squeeze and flutter and had she not been begging for him to go all the way in, he probably would’ve just cum then and there.

Finally, their hips rested flush against one another as he slid all the way in. More sweat sprung along his skin, as Carmen tried to hold himself at bay, letting Y/N adjust. The last thing he’d ever want to do is cause her any type of pain. Even make her a tiny bit uncomfortable, so he’d wait until she said she was ready.

She lifted his head from where he rested it against her shoulder, giving him a long kiss. “You can move,” she whispered, gliding her legs up his and letting them cross against his lower back. “Please move.”

And although Y/N'd said to not worry too much about whether she was enjoying herself, Carmen couldn’t do that. Every spare second was spent looking at her face, watching how her eyebrows scrunched in pleasure or how her mouth opened in a moan of his name, because her being in pleasure gave him pleasure.

More sweat sprung along their skins, covering them in a small layer of perspiration, and Carmen kissed Y/N’s chest taking in the salty taste, biting at her neck, her lips and arms, while drowning in the feeling of how her nails dug into his back, and her teeth bit against his shoulder as if she needed to muffle screams of pleasure, marking him as hers.

Every flutter and squeeze against his cock sent more and more ripples of bliss through him, but it was the way she sighed his name, so full of adoration and pleasure and love, that did it for him.

White exploded across his vision as the tight coil that’d been rolling together in his abdomen finally released. His fingers dug into Y/N’s skin harder, anchoring him to the moment and not letting him slip away, making him tether himself to her and what had just transpired, while she tumbled along, a high-pitched whine ringing through the night, her hips locking his in place as she rode out her own orgasm.

It felt like it took ages for him to come back down to reality, chest heaving, tightly pressed to the woman’s underneath him, his hands digging into the soft flesh of her hips with his mouth open in a faltered breath.

His whole body felt like it was made of jelly, his bones turned liquid, and the only thing keeping him from melting fully was Y/N’s soft motions as she dragged her fingers across his back, soothing where her nails had dug into his back so deliciously.

“Was that – was that good… for you?” the words were timid, his eyes unsure as he searched Y/N’s face for any signs she hadn’t enjoyed it.

Her hand lightly rested against his cheek, eyes still closed, a blissful smile on her face. “Ask me that again when I remember how to speak English.”

Carmen’s heart fluttered, and a bashful smile bloomed on his kiss-swollen lips. “You are speaking English.”

Finally, Y/N’s eyes opened, a glazed, almost drunk look to them. “Really? Because you’ve definitely scrambled my brain. Holy shit, Bear.”

He chuckled and leaned in to press a kiss against her lips, a satisfied hum escaping her as she wrapped her arms around his shoulders, pulling him closer and using his body as a blanket.

After a bit of coaxing from him, Y/N relented and let him go, so he could make sure she went into the bathroom and peed. He might not have much experience sexually or relationshipwise, but he knew the basics and didn’t want her to get a UTI.

He waited for her by the door, and when she exited, probably having expected him to be in bed, the soft smile on her lips made the butterflies in his stomach roil.

“Hungry?” Carmen allowed himself to touch her, a gentle finger running along her collarbone. “We still have that pizza. It’s probably cold by now though.”

She shrugged. “I’ll never say no to pizza.”

“You did yesterday.”

“Because I’d already eaten!”

Carmen scoffed. “A jar of olives is not a meal!”

***

The next day was Sunday which meant Y/N still had a day off, and Carmen had promised he’d sleep in with her even though he needed to open The Bear. They’d spent the rest of the night talking and kissing and having more mind-blowing sex, only drifting off when the sun began to rise.  But their rest didn’t last long.

She woke with a start, ripping herself away from Carmen’s warm hold, the cold air instantly making goosebumps appear on her skin. He was up in an instant as well, a warm palm settling on her back as Y/N glared through the wall to the front door.

“Jesus fucking Christ,” she grumbled rubbing at her eyes. “What the fuck is wrong with people.”

“I’ll get it,” Carmen mumbled, a bit more awake as his natural body clock had already brought him out from the deep slumber. Pressing a kiss against her shoulder, a pleasant shiver ran through her body, as he helped her lay back down beneath the duvet. “Be back in a second.”

Y/N could hear his feet patter against the floor as he went to the small cupboard and fished out some clean underwear.  Call her a perv, but she couldn’t not take a peek and admire Carmen’s ass. A smirk came on her face when she realized she’d left some marks there as well, reddish half-moon imprints of her nails settled deep into the skin. Though it didn’t seem he minded it one bit.

Snuggling deeper into the bed, she closed her eyes and waited for Carmen to come back and join her, though once she heard who was at the door, Y/N knew that wouldn’t happen.

           There was slight murmuring for a couple of moments when a loud cackle interrupted the Sunday morning peace.

“Fucking finally, cousin!” Richie’s voice boomed across the apartment and into the bedroom. “Y/N, I hope he treated you right!”

“He treated me perfectly,” she hollered back, understanding there would be no sleeping in anymore. She grabbed one of Carmen’s shirts, fished out a spare pair of his boxers and entered the living room where she found the two – Richie outside in the hallway with the smuggest grin on his face, Carmen with an adorable flush to his cheeks, as he crossed his arms and looked down at the ground, slightly shuffling.

“And I would like a repeat of it,” Y/N grumbled, “but that won’t happen because if you don’t leave right now, I will spend the rest of my life in prison for murder, and I highly doubt they’d let Carmy come on such visits.”

Richie lifted his hands in mock surrender. “I just came to check on dear cousin here. He's never missed his opening shifts, and his phone was completely off. But now I see he was… preoccupied.”

Y/N groaned looking at the clock. She knew it was early, but not six a.m. early. “Murder is illegal, murder is illegal, murder is illegal,” she chanted under her breath as she put on a coffee pot to brew. “Why the fuck is murder illegal?”

“Relax,” Richie chuckled. “No need to resort to violence, I’m already leaving. See you at the kitchen? Actually,” he snapped his fingers and pointed at Carmen. “I’d rather not. We’ll take care of it. You two crazy kids enjoy yourselves.”

“Richie, no I’ll be, there in a couple of hours, just let me -,”

“Nope,” he interrupted his cousin. “Syd will be more than happy to take the lead. Especially, after I tell her why our Carmy was late.”

The aforementioned man dragged a hand down his now scarlet face. “Can you just fucking leave then?”

“I’m going, I’m going.” Richie retreated, and Carmen had almost closed the door when he called out, “Use protection!” and chucked a handful of condoms through the slit.

A louf “fuck you!” was the response he got, and the door finally closed, though they did hear a muffled “I’d rather you fuck each other!” before footsteps retreated down the staircase.

Y/N huffed, taking two cups and filling them with the now-ready coffee, adding two sugars, milk and a dash of brownie syrup to hers. “How upset would you be exactly if I decided to just lightly maim your cousin?”

“Can I help?” Carmen asked with a raised brow, and that elicited a snort from her as she leaned to rest her back against his chest, while two large arms snaked around her waist, and Carmen placed his chin on her shoulder.

“I like my clothes on you, but I gotta admit,” he shyly murmured. “Kinda liked it when you were without any better.”

Y/N’s eyes glimmered as she looked at him through her lashes over her shoulder. “You have every chance to remedy that. I mean, you do have the day off.”

Carmen leaned in and pressed a hot kiss to the side of her neck, the feeling of his lips against her skin making her sigh in pleasure. “I guess I do, huh?”

She felt his body relax against hers, rough fingers skimming her stomach as he swayed them to a song only he heard.

“Come on,” Carmen murmured, pressing a sweet kiss to her lips, his own tasting of the coffee he’d drunk. “Let’s get back into bed.”

“Don’t have to tell me twice.”

They spent hours cuddled up, soft voices interrupting the quiet air of the Chicago morning. Soft words turned into soft moans into soft gasps and pleas and, before long, they were naked again, bodies moving in sync as they reached their peaks together.

And again in the shower, where he slipped into her from behind, after Y/N had washed Carmen’s hair with the new shampoo and conditioner she’d gotten him.

And then on the kitchen counter where he let his tongue explore between her thighs once again, as he made them breakfast despite all her protests of it being his day off and how he shouldn’t be anywhere near a stove.

And then on the sofa where she rode him until she couldn't scream and didn't have a voice anymore as some mindless show played on in the background.

By the time evening came around and they plopped hot and sweaty onto Y/N’s bed because Carmen’s sheets still needed to be changed after the previous night’s escapades, they were satiated and happy.

And undoubtedly very much so in love.

Tags (crossed out wouldn't take):

Everything tags: @palaiasaurus64 @supernaturalbaesduh @thatawkwardlittlefangirl @sea040561 @staryeyedgirl @deathbyarabbit @m-a-t-91 @maladaptive-ninja-returns @averyrogers83 @in-the-end-im-still-trash @gallifreyansass @dewy-biitch @avxgers @unlikelygalaxygiver @magicwithaknife @ollyoxenfrees @bnhvrdy @tvwhoresblog @thatkindofgurl @sj-thefan @lestersglitterglue @im-squished @strangersstrange

A/N: I am back on my bullshit and I am obsessed with this man!!! Why did I wait so long to watch The Bear!!! UGGGGHHHH!!! He makes me go feral!!!!

P.S. what did you think? I might make more parts with these two :)

#carmen berzatto #carmy berzatto #carmy #the bear #the bear hulu #carmen x reader #carmen imagine #carmy x reader #carmy imagine #carmen berzatto x reader #carmen berzatto x you #carmy smut #carmen berzatto smut #carmy x you #carmy x y/n #carmen berzatto x y/n #carmen smut #carmy angst #carmen angst #carmen berzatto angst #carmy fluff #carmen berzatto fluff #carmy the bear

[matrixbearer2024]

Hi!!! I love your Get Off My Screen series so much! I was wondering if I could do a request for that?

Basically the idea is that Vox and the reader are just texting at night maybe and he lets something slip about something he misses from his old life on earth and because of that the reader remembers that the person they’ve been talking to for like over a year by now probably used to be alive and just spends the whole night learning everything they can about vox when he was alive (I imagine this would happen whilst vox was asleep and we’re just googling him) and then maybe I feel like we’d also google Alastor as a joke to see what all the fuss is about and then we find out that the person vox is ~~crushing~~ hating on is a serial killer and then just telling everything we learned when he wakes up.

Sorry if that’s really long I just fell like this is 100% what I would do in this situation

Old Times Gone By

Vox x CollegeStudent!Reader

A/N: I'm so glad you guys are requesting scenarios within the series, heck- I'm glad y'all enjoy it this much already hahaha! This is somewhat of an aftermath to the "You Could Do Better(With Me)" which is why it's not as cheery as the other chapters- but it's definitely not straight up angst. Just vulnerability and late night chatting between friends. Haha "friends"- And as always, I hope you guys enjoy this chapter and happy reading!

A/N: Again, I kind of deviated from the prompt a little to better fit the narrative but Reader does know about Alastor and who he is because of Vox's ranting. They're aware that her demonic crush has a weird obsession with a cannibalistic radio serial killer deer dude and it's still not the weirdest thing he's done so far HAHAHAHA

If there was one thing Vox had to say he hated about drinking-

It had to be dealing with the hellish hangovers come morning.

Especially when he'd been wasted the night before.

A sharp jab in his side caused him to wake up this time.

He grunted, nearly falling off his chair when he shifted ever so slightly.

Huh-

Wait, why was he in here???

He could feel the migraine start to pound in his head.

Vox wasn't looking forward to today already.

When he tried to stand up, a clink of a bottle made him look down by his feet.

Picking it up to give the darn thing a once over, he scoffed.

He must have been absolutely hammered to have finished this yesterday.

It was a brand he despised the taste of too.

"Vox-? Oh, you're up."

His head whipped around so quickly once he heard your voice.

When had he even connected to your TV?

Not that he complained, he managed to see you sat up on the couch and stretching.

Your hair stuck up in odd positions and you even looked to be half-awake.

Why was that fucking cute???

"I- mhm. I guess I am. Was I... drinking yesterday?"

"I don't really know, I just knew you were drunk out of your mind last night. I can only see your face remember?"

"Ah... right."

Vox couldn't really bring himself to say much this time, not while he was still trying to grab the bits and pieces of his memory on yesterday's events.

Did he really wander into the monitor room just because he missed you?

That was low, even for him.

"Good morning anyhow, not that I think it would be if you're dealing with a hangover."

Vox just chuckled, watching you get up and disappear from the TV's view.

He wasn't in any mood to work at all, especially when he had a shitty headache to deal with too.

Eh, his empire could last a day without him.

He notified his secretary to just cancel all his duties and appointments for today, just ignoring their panic as you returned back into view.

"What are you holding?"

"Coffee."

"I thought you said you hated coffee?"

"Not hate, I just don't prefer it. But I need the caffeine to function today and I'd rather drink this bean juice than those energy drinks."

Vox wouldn't admit it, but talking to you again was already starting to make him feel a little better.

Especially after your noticeable absence.

He'd rather die again that outright say he missed you, his pride wouldn't allow it.

Cracking his joints, he just watched you sleepily stare up at him from where you sat on the couch.

Granted, it was probably because your TV was probably perched higher or on a shelf.

But Vox still thought you were kind of short.

Not that he had the right to say anything-

He was a 7ft tall giant compared to you.

"Again with the bean juice thing, and what's wrong with energy drinks?"

"They taste like straight up chemicals."

Vox just gave you a weird look when you rolled your eyes at him.

Still you just kept talking to him inbetween taking sips of your hot beverage.

"I'm not surprised you enjoy them, but your palate is probably shit."

"Oh you do not wanna go there-"

"What if I do huh? Watcha gonna do about it?"

Vox just grinned, you getting up to move closer to the screen as you challenged him.

The wide mischievous grin on your face mirrored his own and you both quickly devolved into just either bragging about exotic foods you've eaten-

Or straight up going for the jugular about each other.

"You eat McDonald's daily? I can't believe you'd feed yourself garbage Vox-"

"It's not garbage, and don't act like you've never eaten fast food."

"You are what you eat, I guess!"

"Ohoho! You bitch!"

Vox didn't seem to mind the numbing headache he felt when you were back to being your animated rambunctious self.

He wondered if it was because of the caffeine that made you all hyped up but he couldn't really bring himself to give a shit.

Not when he was still pretty tired.

It seems you noticed his retorts weren't making their usual mark though, and you crossed your arms over your chest while leaning towards the TV screen.

Vox just narrowed his eyes at you in confusion, what were you doing?

"You my good sir, need a hot cup of coffee more than I do. And freshen up while you're at it, I need to go take a shower too anyways."

You-

You did not just do what he think you did.

Were you actually mothering him??

Vox just rolled his eyes at your words, not really intending to go until he realized you weren't budging an inch either.

"Didn't you just say you needed to go clean up?"

"Not leaving till you are."

"Stubborn much?"

"Not that different from you, no."

The tech overlord laughed at your insistence, eventually relenting and disconnecting himself from your devices.

He stretched again when he got up from his chair, picking up the empty alcohol bottle near his feet not intending to clutter up or dirty his workspace.

Vox perked up when his phone buzzed though.

The darn thing catching his attention before he forgot it was there.

He checked on it with his free hand, chuckling when he realized it was just a message from you.

"Go and freshen yourself up, get a cup of coffee too while you're at it. I'll be back soon, kisses!"

You almost caused him to break his phone from the grip he had on it.

Kisses???

What the fuck was that supposed to mean?!

Vox seriously stood there staring at his phone for a good ten minutes just buffering and rebooting-

Dude is actually broken the second you do literally anything with vaguely romantic undertones.

Still he stomps all over his own hopes and feelings in fear of misinterpreting your friendliness.

Yeah, both of you were fucking clueless.

You stayed true to your word and did eventually come back after you'd cleaned yourself up.

Vox had just been waiting on your TV again and the screen brightened slightly upon noticing you.

It was a subconscious reaction, don't bring it up or he'll definitely throw a hissy fit.

So that's what you both did the whole day, talking and just catching up.

While Vox did mention you skipped classes for the day, you just shot back that he threw his work to the backburner as well.

Not that he bothered to refute it, instead just moving on with the conversation like normal.

Hours passed and time flew.

Before you knew it, the both of you were talking well into the evening.

"And that's kind of the reason why I think spaghetti is superior to penne."

"Doll, they're straight up just different kinds of pasta."

"The fact there's different kinds of pasta mean that people clearly can't decide on a superior noodle shape."

Yeaaah... your conversations kind of stopped making sense an hour ago.

Not that either of you minded, even laughing about some stupid thing way into the AM.

"So like- he thought he was really some hot shit taking on the leader of the exorcists but he got his ass absolutely handed to him!"

"Bro almost got turned into demonic venison HAHAHAHA!"

Though of course, late night conversations always went deeper than those normally held within the day.

"Say... Vox?"

"Yeah?"

"Do you miss being alive? With, ya know- talking to me and all."

Vox paused slightly, it's been a long time since he reminisced of his living days.

When was the last time he even did?

"Not necessarily, I miss some things but not a whole lot."

"Like what? When did you die???"

"Hm... I don't remember the exact date, but sometime in the fifties?"

Vox recoiled when you just gawked at his screen, why did you react like that?

"Holy shit! You're fucking ancient!"

"Haha... very funny doll, I'm not that old! I died in my thirties."

"Ehhhh? You're not much older than I am then. How??"

"Don't remember, it was a long long time ago."

You made a weird face at him, to which Vox just smiled and chuckled.

It was the same expression you wore when trying to figure things out.

As... weird and cute as it may be.

Then you suddenly yawned, causing the tech overlord to consequently do the same.

Something you poked fun at him for since when did TVs yawn apparently.

Rolling his eyes, Vox took a glance at his internal clock.

It was four in the morning?!

How long had you both been talking????

"Vox? You good?"

Apparently his bewilderment was evident on the screen, so he just switched his attention back to you.

Vox's screen glitched slightly when he was caught off guard by how close you got to the TV.

Almost all up in his face even.

"Y-Yeah, just zZst- fine. Say... Doll, do you know what time it is?"

"Uhhhh- no, not really- why?"

"It's four in the morning."

"And?"

"You need to sleep?"

You rolled your eyes and turned your back to the TV, plopping down on the couch with a pout.

"Hey."

You ignored him.

"Heeeeeey-"

Vox couldn't help but chortle from your antics, you really seemed like a grumpy child right now.

"Look dollface, I don't want the fun to end either but we've still got tomorrow."

"I don't wanna say goodnight. You're just going to disconnect when I do."

"What, you can't expect me to fall asleep hooked up to all your stuff again can you? My chair isn't the most comfortable place to fall asleep."

"Still!"

Vox rubbed his face with a sigh, he felt the inexplicable urge to just pinch your cheeks.

He would if he could but he didn't exactly have hands as a TV.

Why did you have to be so cute?

"How about this? I'll stick around until you pass out. You won't even notice I'm gone come morning."

"Fineeeeeee."

It didn't take too long for you to fall asleep on the couch.

Similarly to yesterday, you were just haphazardly sprawled across the furniture with a thin blanket to cover you.

Despite his words, Vox still stuck around for a while to make sure you were asleep.

You looked so serene while you rested, like you didn't have any worries.

The overlord let out a tired sigh, he'll just stick around for another five minutes.

Just a little longer in this peaceful moment with you.

Vox totally fell asleep in his chair again, he woke up that morning in an awkward position feeling more sore than ever too.

"Oh for fuck's sake-"

"MORNING VOXYYY!!!"

#hazbin hotel #hazbin hotel vox #hazbin vox #vox #vox x reader #hazbin hotel vox x reader #hazbin hotel x reader #hazbin vox x reader #vox x you #Get Off My Screen Series

[ashthemadwriter-archived]

“Swallow. All of it.”

“Do you need to use your safeword, darling?”

Fandom: Bungou Stray Dogs

Pairing: Nikolai X Fem!Reader

Request: "aaaaa another event from my moots! congratulations!🎉 can i request Nikolai with 3 and 4? make him a bit of a sadist tho if that's okay with you👀" ◜@beandaifuku◞

Genre: Smut

Format: Fic

Warnings: Mild yandere themes, Explicit smut, Sub!Reader, Dom!Nikolai, Name calling(Babygirl, Slut, etc), Degrading, Praising, Dirty talk, Nikolai being a dick tease, Vaginal penetration, Use of handcuffs, Oral (Both giving and receiving), Cunnilingus, Face funking, Dacryphilia, Squirting, Edging, Orgasm Denial, MDNI

Word Count: 2.7K

A/n: Aww tysm Bean! T^T I had this thing on my mind with Kolya so I wrote it for you👀 Hope you like it! :D

"I got Three! No fair!"

Nikolai smiled as he snatched the dice from your hand, pleased at your unluckiness. He pressed it in his fist, muttering something to himself before winking at you.

"Stay still Dove, My turn now"

His words only made you press your eyelids on each other hard, holding your breath in your lungs as the dice rolled on your bare stomach. This was his intelligent idea of a interesting game, and he got the perfect chance to suggest it when you told him how bored you were these days. You were always in for a quirky exciting challenge, and this was a good example of that, right?

So he had you stripped out of your clothes, lying down on your bed wearing nothing but your panties, with him sitting next to you, properly dressed. You took turns to roll the dice and who ever got more than Three was able to do whatever they desired with the other player, which was why you were in this position. Every time you rolled the dice, you always got less than three or worse, three itself; and he always got more than that. Of course the bastard had something to do with this; but you couldn't really protest because he knew his job well and left no evidence.

So for now, you could only compromise with how the cold object was roving around on your stomach, and try not to get all worked up when the clown "Accidentally" trailed his fingers on your body when he reached out for the dice.

His eyes were fixated on the dice, and his grin extended when he caught a glimpse of the number written on it. This had only one meaning;

You were fucked.

"Ah! Look Dove! It's six again!"

Of course it was, again.

"Good for you" You only rolled your eyes in response, avoiding his mischievous stare as you tilted your head to the other side. You looked cute like this, all exposed in front of him, ready to be served. He couldn't hold himself back from messing with you; because as much as he loved to see your pretty smile, you looked hotter when you were frowning, motivating him to go further.

"Don't be like that Dove! You'll win too! Eventually!" Feeling his cold fingers on your nipples, you shivered and looked back at him, to meet with his ardent gaze.

"Besides… I'm not the only one who's enjoying this, hm? Don't tell me you wanna pretend you're not having fun? I bet you're all wet for me already"

"…Actually, wanna find out?"

Before you could even say anything, he went down to your thighs, grabbing the lacy fabric. His face brightened when he saw a string of your juice attached to your panties, tracing forward as he pulled them down further.

"Look! I was right~"

Blood rushed to your cheeks when he looked up at you, and caught a few tinges of lust floating in your eyes. You already knew he was about to do something, it wasn't that hard to tell because of that playful smirk of his;

What you didn't know was how long you were able to last putting up with his filthy tricks.

"Now, what to do? What to do to you~?"

His eyes went down on your soaked cunt, and it was a matter of time before you felt his fingers trailing on your pussy lips.

"K-Kolya!" "Quiet baby girl. You remember the rules don't you? Who ever wins can do whatever he desires to the other one, and as you can see, I won~" He teased as he poked your clit repeatedly, smirking at the tiny shivers he earned from you by his movements. "Don't mind me Dove, I'm just trying to play with my reward a little bit"

Well, what could you do to him? You knew he would always get his way, no matter what.

Nikolai adjusted his lips over your clit, barely touching it; but enough for you to feel his warm breath tickling your sensitive bud. Your breath hitched at how close yet distant he was, and a small whine left your mouth when he pinned your thighs down, failing your attempt to buck them up.

"Needy now are we~? I thought you wanted me to stop?"

"I- I never said that…"

He simply giggled at your confession, pulling himself closer to stare at your throbbing cunt. You used to feel shy when he observed you like this, but after a few wild nights, you were quite used to it. Quite, not fully.

Buried in your thoughts, you suddenly chocked on your breath when you felt his mouth inhaling your clit.

"H-ha!"

Don't stop. Never stop.

Your clit was fully in his mouth, gently sucking on the soft meat as his tongue started going up and down on its surface. This time, he didn't stop you from bucking your hips up. Instead, he dragged them closer, eyes closed as he made out with your juicy pussy. You threw your head back, both hands reaching for his fluffy hair to press them harder against your crotch, but you gasped when you felt a cold metal trapping your wrists.

"Wha-…"

Looking down to see what occurred, your eyes widened when you saw Nikolai's hand disappearing in his cloak, and that bloody familiar smirk.

Nasty bitch.

"Untie me" "Not a chance princess. Just sit back and enjoy the show"

Now that you were in handcuffs, he got to do whatever he wished with you. How exciting was that now?

He ignored the rest of your complains and got down to "His business". He didn't need to do much to shut you up, just the feeling of his long digit on your hole was enough. To hear more of your pretty whimpers, Nikolai multitasked as he inserted three fingers inside you while moving his tongue in a rippling way on your pretty pussy. His mouth was so warm, so moist, so talented at eating you out. You found yourself lost in euphoria, desperately shaking to shove your cunt into his mouth even more, as if it wasn't deep inside already. He moaned with pleasure, licking his lips before blowing on your clit.

"A- Ah! Kolya!" "Sorry Dove, Got a bit carried away~ It's just that, you taste so good that I can't help but to wonder how unfair this is"

There was no teasing after that. Just him and his greedy mouth, starved for your wet pussy, eating you out like it was the last time he was ever tasting you. Your mind was blank, your vision was blurry, only waiting for your final hit to release; and you were getting closer every time his tongue flicked the tip of your rosy clit as his finger thrusted into you, tapping that sensitive spot inside.

So close, Even closer, Just a little more, And finally…

"Alrighty! Your turn to roll the dice again!"

When he beamed as he suddenly got up to hold the dice, leaving your orgasm undone, you broke down. Your vision got even more obscure, resulting of how your tears where clouding your eyes; And of course he noticed it, it was what he was waiting to see, after all.

"Me oh my~ You crying Dove? Is that how desperate you are for my touch?"

You only sobbed in response, trying to wipe your tears with your chained hands, avoiding his gaze as you started crying, too shattered to care about how pathetic you looked right now. The only thing you felt was pain, from your burning eyes and your aching cunt.

Of course that awakened his sympathy.

"Awww~ Don't be like this Dove! I'm just trying to keep up with the game! You're the one who said you wanted to do something fun, remember?"

No reply. Only endless weeps.

"Fine, if this is what you want" He shook his head with fake pity, hands reaching for his belt to unbuckle it, attracting your attention by making unnecessary sounds. "But if you want me to make you come, you gotta be a good girl and let me fuck your mouth. You in for it?"

Well, as long as you get to come in the end.

A satisfied smile spread across his face when he saw your small nod of acceptance. He then took off his clothes, making your mouth water from the sight of his fine built up body, and of course his erected dick.

"Like what you see~? You're staring a little too much, needy slut"

Another nod, only with more frustration.

"Well then, Open up"

He stood behind your head, caressing your lips before gently pulling your jaw up so his cock was in front of your mouth. He then slowly pushed his length inside, delighted by how he was able to see his dick entering your throat from your exposed neck. You gagged from his enormous size, only for him to shove his cock down your throat forward.

"I don't wanna feel any teeth, so be careful with your dirty mouth, whore"

And the fucking started. Nikolai was brutal, with how fast he was thrusting into your mouth, leaving you breathless. You gulped every time the tip of his girth hit the back of your throat, and it only made him more voracious. Your lips looked so pretty, swollen, covered with your spit and his precum; he just couldn't get enough of how breath taking you looked no matter what position you were in. He rushed his dick in your mouth harshly, grinning at how you closed your eyes and cried out for breath, but was met with his massive dick in return.

"Mh- Mhm- Am- "

Feeling his release getting close, his cock left your mouth with a small "Gulp", Giving you some space for air. He chuckled at how wretched you looked as you didn't even have control over your own hands, only inhaling air to prevent yourself from fainting.

"Was I too rough Dove? I'm sorry"

Like hell you would believe he was.

"Come baby, let me make it up to you. Come sit on my dick and I'll fuck that little cunt of yours"

You took a deep breath, standing up using the leftover strength in your body and went to sit on his lap. You nearly fell on the ground on the way but luckily, he was there to seize you with his muscular arms, pulling you to his side.

"My Dove, you're so delicate…" He planted a small kiss on your neck as he wrapped his arms around your trembling body, nuzzling his head against the crook of your neck. Your back was now facing him, all fitted in his embrace. He unpinned the handcuffs with one hand, throwing it to the other side of the room while pressing you in his arms harder.

"So sensitive, so tiny, so precious for me sweetheart. I love you so much Dove, so much that it sometimes gets out of hand"

So much that I want to ruin you, leaving no traces behind.

"Look at you love, shivering in my arms like a homeless little puppy. C'mon baby. Let me give you one orgasm and then we'll go to bed ok? Lift your legs a bit… Yes! Just like that"

His hands went under your thighs to raise you up a bit, as you were too tired to move by yourself. Your juices made it easy for his cock to slip inside your core, yet it was too deep for you to prevent yourself from moaning when it hit your cervix, and he hadn't started moving yet.

He wore a smug smile, tightening his grip on your thighs before moving you up and down on his length with the tiniest effort. You could only whine. At how unfairly strong he was? Or how unbelievably huge he was? Or how he had control over you like you were his personal puppet? You didn't know; but one thing was for sure,

You were his little toy, he treated you the way he wanted to, and you still loved him, despite all of that. Honestly; who was the more toxic one? Him or you? Was he really unable to see how dark your eyes gotten when he was talking to some woman other than you? Or how you pressed yourself against him when you were out in public? He though he was more possessive than you?

No, that's just how men are; They like to think they're the one with authority;

Little did he know you had him wrapped around your finger, capturing him in your love while letting him believe he was free. He was never going to be free, not ever from you, and not ever from his obsession with you. Even if he got rid of you at some point, he was still trapped in the pain of your loss, of how much he craved you, how much he missed you.

With the thought of that, your hands fell back to his cheek, pressing him against your naked sweaty skin as you moaned his name. Your voice got louder when his teeth sank in your neck, satisfied with how he was unable to witness your devilish smile.

"Kolya I'm so close… A-ah…" "Come for me baby. Show me how much you love this cock"

His pace suddenly got faster, making you gasp at how deep he was hitting you. Your G-spot was constantly struck with his fat cock, making you mewl louder than before. Nikolai knew you were close from how your legs were wobbly in his hands, so he made his final move to drive you insane.

His right hand came to your clit from below, and started rubbing it furiously.

"K-K-Kolya! I'm- Ah- "

"What is it Dove? Perhaps you're too fed up with me already? Do you want me to stop? Do you need to use your safeword, Darling?"

No. You never wanted him to stop. Not ever.

His dick thrusted savagely in your cunt, and every time it went inside, your eyes rolled back at the sudden arrival of pleasure. His hand was not falling behind either, rubbing you like his life depended on it.

You could feel your body firing up, you were so close, screaming his name with every shove of his girth.

"Kolya!"

Flames started filling you up, rapidly moving up through your body.

"K-Kolya!"

Your lungs burned, your legs shivered, you screamed his name, begging him to keep going.

"Kolya! Oh my g-god!"

A massive pile of pleasure filled your body up to your mouth, you suddenly felt thirst blooming in your throat, and then, the fire was shot out of your body, dispresively.

"Kolyaaaaa- A-A-A-hhhh -A -Ah Ah-"

You threw your head back on his shoulder, cried as your arousal made a mess out of the bed, the carpet, his lap, him. The sound of your wet bodies slamming onto each other was suddenly replaced with the mixture of your scream, his hysterical laughter, and the sound of your cum splashing out. His hand didn't stop moving, his dick didn't stop thrusting, and your moans didn't stop coming out of your mouth either. He waited until you were out of energy, and slowly placed you on the bed, smirking at how sore your body was.

"You're done already and I haven't even reached my climax? How cruel"

He knew you weren't even able to spell your own name, let alone be in for another round, so he simply started stroking himself, moaning as he felt his orgasm drawing closer.

"Open your mouth for me baby~"

You did as you were told; And suddenly, his seed scattered on your tongue, some even dripped down your throat already, saving you from the bother to swallow.

"Now, swallow. all of it"

You nodded as you gulped his cream down without breaking eye contact, attempting to look seductive with the last of your strength. Nikolai sighed, lying next to you as his arms caged you in his embrace. He placed a gentle kiss on your temple, smiling as you leaned against his chest to press yourself to him harder.

"Tired my Dove?" "Hm Kolya, very tired" "Relax then. Take a little nap to recover a bit baby. We might have another round if you're feeling better when you wake up, hm? What do you say?"

Well, you had all night, so…

Bruh this turned out so dark in the middle what the fuck? The reader was supposed to be submissive IDK what happened to me in the middle of writing this lmao I'm so sorry anyway GOODBYE-

#AshTheMadWriter #AshTheMadWriter's Smutember Event #Nikolai smut #Nikolai gogol smut #nikolai x reader #bsd nikolai #bsd nikolai gogol #bsd x reader #bungou stray dogs x reader #bsd imagines #bungou stray dogs #bsd smut #nikolai gogol x reader #nikolai x you #nikolai x y/n #nikolai x fem!reader #nikolai gogol x you #nikolai gogol x y/n #nikolai gogol x fem!reader #nikolai imagines #nikolai gogol imagines #nikolai scenario #bungou stray dogs smut #NSFW! Content

[starryficsfinishwen]

“I can't keep accepting your favours like this. I...need to do something in return.”

“Oh! How about this: peel this orange for me, then.”

Curiosity and confusion is evident in Chrome's face as you hold out the fruit in question in front of him.

On one particularly hot afternoon at the Strike Hawk Lounge, you are lounging in Strike Hawk's lounge, still wearing your pajamas with a few small oranges in your lap, with sleepy eyes obviously drowsy from your long nap. You are found sitting in one of the four bean bags in the room, specifically, Chrome's seat. Although the captain had no problems with that—he'd never even find any problems with you anyway— Chrome finds it endearing enough that you were handing him something that doesn't even need to do.

“Um...?”

“You don't like oranges?”

Chrome shakes his head, “No, I just...find it, quite odd. I thought you were going to ask for something hard to do, like carrying a sofa or a bed...”

“Are you kidding?” You wave your hand that held the orange, beckoning him, “Peeling oranges are hard enough! Come and sit, I have a trick to show you.”

“Is that the trick you wanted to show me?”

The hand-sized orange looks heavy, but had fit perfectly in the palm of your hand. You moved a little to have some space for Chrome to sit next to you. Smiling, you slip an identical orange in his unknowingly open hand.

“Could be!” Giggling, your fingers lightly graze the rind of the orange in his hand, “Look, peeling oranges are so time-consuming and messy at some point.”

Turquoise eyes trailed your every movement, intently studying what you were doing. Scratching the pedicel, or the top of the orange, you peeled off one part of your orange. Some juices poured out of the opening you've created, but you nonchalantly wiped it off by your arm

“You can get a lot of stains, too, if you're not careful. That's why it can be messy. Peeling the skin and the white parts off can be frustrating for me.”

Chrome understood, but as someone who had been eating orange by himself since he was young, he found it quite hard to comprehend your words. But seeing your focused eyes, he decided to keep on looking at you, nodding at your every word.

“It does seem like a lot of work.”

“Mm,” you nodded, a little grin on your lips when you've fully peeled the orange, “when I was younger, my mom would peel oranges for me, because I never liked doing it.”

He watches as you delicately pull off the white parts. Slowly, trying not to squish the orange. Carefully, trying not to spill. He watches and watches, in wonder, as the smile on your lips seems to grow brighter with your work, heat willingly growing in his chest.

“I realized,” you whispered, “that it must be love, then.”

Ah, love. The word that Chrome knew you were infatuated with, always looking for it in everything you do. It must have been interesting, for you, even when you were living in an apocalyptic world. You've had that conversation with Chrome, yet Chrome was still perplexed with your thought processes. But now, watching you underneath the lights, happily peeling away the orange, watching you smile— what was the feeling that was knocking in his chest?

“How so?” Chrome asked, leaning forward.

“Doing things willingly for someone without waiting for an exchange. You value that person a lot, so you would do anything for them, even the most mundane things.” You paused, looking at Chrome with a bright smile, “Isn't that the very value of love?”

Oh, Chrome understood you now. A little better, even.

His gaze sets in the orange in his hand, a little blush on his cheeks with the full realization of his feelings. “I see.”

“Here you go,” you proudly placed the orange in Chrome's free hand, cheekily grinning, “an orange for you.”

Oh. For once, realization hits Chrome harder than ever.

“Commandant,” Chrome said, the blush in his cheeks getting darker, “Are you insinuating something?”

You blinked at him before looking away. Amusement fills his eyes, eager to tease you as he sees your ears turn red.

“I-I don't know what you're talking about.”

“Commandant, why are you looking away from me, then?” Chrome pokes your cheeks, “Hm? Commandant?”

“J-just eat your orange, Chrome!”

Chrome's smile mirrored yours, “Let me peel one for you, Commandant.”

#pgr #punishing gray raven #punishing gray raven imagines #pgr commandant #pgr global #pgr chrome #pgr chrome glory

[samoankpoper21]

Levi, I'm Pregnant...

Summary: Levi made it very clear that he wasn't too keen on having children but the universe has a way of throwing you off; modern! au

Side note: Anything with < text > is Levi's thoughts.

Fuck, fuck, fuck, fuck, you anxiously paced back and forth, gnawing at your bottom lip, trying to come up with different ways to tell Levi the one thing you knew he may dread: I'm pregnant. How could have this happened? Growing up you've always experienced irregular periods so this time you didn't think much of it...that was until the nausea started kicking in, the fatigue crashes, the way your nose would scrunch up at certain scents i.e lavender, pickles, honey, garlic; and the fact that you were always so god damn horny for Levi. You took the first test and it came back positive. Nah that can't be right. The first one is most likely a false positive. You took a second one a week later. Positive. Third times a charm right? POS.I.TIVE. While Levi was at work you scheduled an appointment with your primary doctor. "Congratulations! You're 11 weeks along!"

In the midst of your pacing, you failed to realize Levi step foot in the house until he plopped his briefcase down and stared at you causing you to gasp. "Hey baby." you squeaked.

"Hey you. What are you doing?"

"Huh?" you noticed Levi slightly frowning, you knew that he was catching on to you. "Baby I made dinner why don't you wash up?" Levi stared at you a beat longer and sighed. "Tch. Fine."

You both sat for dinner and you suddenly felt a bit queasy, it's mac and cheese for goodness sake! This was your comfort food! You cleared your throat and began to drink your orange juice - heeding your coworker's advice of eating oranges to deal with the nausea. Without a beat Levi's eyebrow shot up, he knew you wanted to tell him something but was waiting for you to approach the subject. You don't realize it but you gnaw your lips and avoid eye contact when there's something heavy on your mind. Levi continued eating the steak, mashed potatoes, and string beans you set out for him. "How was work today baby?"

"Oh uh it was fine. How about you?" <there shes goes again gnawing at her damn lips>

"Same shit, different toilet." You chuckled at his response but went back to gnawing your lips. You could feel Levi staring holes into you as you looked everywhere but him. "Tch." His impatience was rising with you but he didn't want to make you feel rushed. <What could be so fucking important that she can't spit it out?!> The rest of the night progressed as "normal" as you tried to make it. As you were both preparing for bed you got a whiff of honey, ran to the toilet, and began throwing up; Levi instantly behind you holding your hair. "Oi. What's wrong with you? Are you getting sick or something? You better not be I swear to God if you are-"

"No," your eyes started tearing up, hands shaking.

"Oi, what's wrong with you?"

You hastily stood up to blow your nose, rinse out your mouth, and turned to look at him. <Oh no...is she...leaving me??>

"I don't know how else to tell you this so I'm just going to shoot it to you straight...I'm pregnant." <What...> Levi standing there with no response trying to figure out the mechanisms of it drove your anxiety through the roof, upset even. "Fine then! Good talk." You were trying to rush past him but he was too quick. "Oi, it's rude to walk away when people are still having a conversation."

"Well it's rude not to say anything when your girlfriend gives you life shattering news you twat!" you spat out. Your crumbled into his arms sobbing. This damn pregnancy! Levi carried you and placed you on the bed gently, he kneeling in front of you. "Levi, I hic I'm s-sorry," you tried to explain through the tears. "I, hic, I I know hic you said you hic don't want kids but hic it just happened! Okay?!" Levi was drawing patterns into your hands. "Y/N I never said I didn't want kids."

"Yes you did! When hic I brought it hic to your attention you said no hic that they're little shits!"

"Y/N I only said that because I'm scared," he whispered. "I don't want my kid to go through what I went through." You gently tilted Levi's head with your finger to look up to you, into your eyes, gently grasping both sides of his face. "Baby they don't have to." you whispered.

A beat of silence passed with Levi closing his eyes leaning his face into your hands. You began running your hands through his hair.

"I-"

"F-" you both stopped and began to awkwardly laugh. "What were you going to say?" he asked.

"You go first."

"Shit heads go first."

"Ha ha you're so funny," you dryly responded. You took a deep breath and said, "I'm keeping the baby. With or without you." A moment of silence passed when he replied, "Oh the irony because I was going to say fuck it, yolo." Your face lit up. "Really? Baby really?! We're really doing this?!"

"Shut up will you." you jumped up, embracing him in a hug, plastering kisses all over his face. He laid both of you down and you nuzzled into him more, your foreheads touching. "Baby."

"What?"

"You're going to be a great father."

#aot levi #attack on titan #levi ackerman #levi ackerman x reader #levi attack on titan #levi x y/n #levi x reader #aot x reader #levi x fem!reader #modern!au #ackerman #aot imagines #aot scenarios #one shot #drabble #oneshots #imagine #levi fluff #levi scenarios #levi ackerman fanfiction #levi ackerman x you #aot modern au #short king #fanfiction #fanfic #aot fanfiction #fan fic #fan fiction #aot oneshots

[runningupthatvecna]

night drive | part 1

joseph quinn x fem!reader

masterlist

story summary: you're just out there working your job when you encounter a special (and very familiar) client that is going to change your life. for the better, obviously. but should you really entertain personal relations with a client of yours?

general tags/warnings: rpf (don't like, don't read), strangers to lovers, mutual pining, fluff and eventual spice, slow burn, this will be just a small fluffy happy story tbh :)

chapter summary: it's just another day at work. at least that's what you think to yourself when you leave your flat in berlin one morning, yet unknowing that this day – or more like the client you have to drive to his destination – is being surprisingly gentle and kind to you, his personal driver. and the best part about it? he doesn't seem too scared of you wanting to get your daily dose of adrenaline.

cw/tw: fluff! just the overwhelming smol bean sweetness that is joseph quinn really, mentions of driving at high speeds on a highway, very brief mention of throwing up and usage of drugs, y/n mentioned once (1) at the end

word count: 3,9k

a/n: this idea has been engraved in my brain for literal months and i'm being reminded of it every goddamn time i am at work. so i had to get it out, right? jesus, yeah this is gonna be incredibly self-indulgent since i am german (stereotypes apply), but i tried to keep this as non-german as possible so more of you can relate in some way. hope that's alright and not too underwhelming in general. also, please leave me feedback/reblogs if you've enjoyed this so far! thank you and i love you :)

-----

Let's see who's gonna be flying in today, you thought to yourself as you shoved the last bite of your toasted bread slice into your mouth. Always have to have some form of breakfast at least.

Early signs of sunrise were making an entrance across the sky as you downed the last sips of your orange juice, leaving a tickling sour-sweet taste on your tongue.

Thankfully, your work uniform could easily be changed into something lighter and more casual during the summer months, which is why you only had to throw on a linen blouse and a pair of pants of the same fabric, supporting the flow of air around your skin to help keep your body at a reasonable temperature.

Berlin summers could be brutal, mainly regarding temperature, which is why the air conditioned environment you found yourself working in was the main reason for you to feel grateful these days.

Earning the bread while driving people around? And not in a oh god this guy is so drunk he's going to spill the insides of his stomach in my uber kind of way, but being the exclusive chauffeur for important people? Yeah, it could definitely be worse.

Especially in Berlin, where you can be anything you want.

Most people here get lost in the consumption of intoxicating substances while spending their entire weekends at Sisyphos; they have epiphanies about starting a career in dj-ing, before abandoning that idea again two weeks later just to start a food blog or become a yoga teacher. Long forgotten be the actual reason they once moved here in the first place. For studying or something.

There was a time when you used to think that this specific culture was cool, the same thought a lot of countryside kids think before they wave goodbye to their boring stuck-in-1982 German village life, trying to escape the impending doom of getting tied down to the soils of their direct ancestors, and decide to move here.

But the years of seeing what you had seen here had changed your mindset. A lot.

You loved the morning. The peaceful silence and quietness, empty streets when you could still hear the chirping of the birds, before the rush and heat of the hectic city would cast its overlay over East and West, before most people would start their day, trying to make it to everlasting work, meetings, important business corporate tralala on time.

It was something you had learned to appreciate early on after moving here.

Lighter shades of blue creeped upon the sky now, a sign for you to get ready to leave for your first client of the day.

Airport runs, all day long.

The morning shift, yeah.

You wondered how many people with sticks up their ass you would encounter today, since Germans were usually more of the awkward silence type. Some proved themselves to be quite bearable though, engaging in friendly small talk you would always try to initiate, just to break the tension in the air which sitting in close proximity to total strangers could evoke.

Plus, you never knew who else you would have to transfer. Could it be some important sheikh from Dubai today? A South African basketball player? Maybe the ambassador of Canada, though that would require a police escort.

Ever since you got your license, you had always enjoyed driving. You kinda have to get one if you grow up in small town Germany, where there is a bus service going, but only once per decade or so. Driving had to essentially be part of your DNA at this point.

Grabbing your keys and handbag filled with a water bottle, tissues, really good smelling deodorant, some chocolate you hoped wouldn't melt in the heat of late-ish May, and other small and useful things, you headed outside.

A shiny pearly white Audi A6 was sitting in your street elegantly, a bit further down from your building. Not your own, sadly. It was owned by the agency you worked for; however, with the frequency you found yourself driving it, it could be considered your property anyway.

You really couldn't complain. It was the latest model, seat and steering wheel heating, Apple carplay, a grade A sound system, cruise control, lane assist and all sorts of other nice features a modern car had these days.

From time to time the astonishment about being trusted enough to steer this four-wheeled beast in Berlin traffic was getting to your head.

The click of the lock was like music to your ears and you threw your bag on the passenger seat, since the clients you were supposed to transfer usually sat in the back.

Like a cab, but more personal and exclusive.

The warmth of the previous day had stayed inside the car overnight, which made you lightly turn up the A/C.

You had driven the route to the airport enough times to have figured out alternatives when the main roads would be too full with traffic during rush hours, so you were never really late for work. A true German virtue.

The first client of the day was some journalist working for the German broadcasting service ARD and it was your job to deliver them to the headquarters.

As per usual you asked them a few questions, from where they were flying in, how long they'd be staying, if they'd been to the city or even the country before, etc.

Right after drop off in the center, waving the journalist goodbye and wishing them a great time, your work phone received the message with further info for your next commission.

It was always like this. You'd receive a text message with pick up and drop off address, name of the client and their time of arrival at the airport. Sometimes additional instructions.

And yes, you needed to hurry.

You needed to hurry so much in fact, that your brain completely overlooked the name of the client next on your agenda. Your sole focus was on the time, and it became clear to you that you only had thirty minutes to make the distance.

The time aspect was always but thankfully the only stressful part of your job, still you loved it nonetheless.

You could be on the road twentyfour-seven, if one would let you.

Exceeding the speed limit on the A113 only slightly by 19km/h, you made your way back out to the airport before sliding out of the driver's seat. And yes, you had to get into the building with one of those cringy signs that spelled out the name of the person you'd be awaiting.

As you locked the car out front, parked between two cabs not too far away from the huge sliding doors of the immense window front underneath the massive concrete roof of terminal 1, your entire system flooded with the tingling sensation of nervousness.

You felt your heart make five million jumps, heat rising to your cheeks, and it wasn't because the early morning sun was already casting its heat down onto earth.

It was because of the name next to the arrival time info that you only now had to pay attention to.

It was half past seven, ten minutes after his estimated landing time, and you wondered how long it would take for him to make his way through the maze that BER could be and waltz through those sliding doors in the arrival hall.

The thoughts in your head went faster than what you'd just been going on the highway to get here.

You were about to pick up Joseph Quinn.

British actor, one of your absolute favourites. You knew about all the roles he had been working on, before his international breakthrough on Stranger Things' latest season, which is exactly why now, internally, you were screaming.

Your nervousness only got worse with every opening slide of the doors, built into the wall that kept the arrival hall and baggage claim separate, revealing behind it another random person that wasn't him.

The feeling of impatience grew with each passing second, mixing into the blood you felt getting pumped through you at increasing intensity, mingling with the rushes of euphoria and thrill caused by the thoughts of meeting someone you had so much admiration for.

And yet, a yawn escaped you just in the right moment, just when the doors opened for what felt like the millionth time within the fifteen minutes of you waiting behind the little gate.

He was wearing a dark blue cap, flattening down his light brown curls and making them stick to his (fore)head, brown sunglasses sitting on the brim, a white button down with chest pockets paired with light blue jeans and two rather thin silver chains around his neck. The sleeves of the button down folded right below the elbows. A black leather jacket hung over his forearm, his phone in the hand. A small dark blue suitcase on wheels was following behind him pulled by his free hand, alongside a middle-aged woman you guessed was his manager, because she stuck by his side, holding onto her own phone and own suitcase for dear life.

Didn't seem too fond of airports, you guessed.

With the way he was dressing it almost looked like he was here for much more casual reasons, but you were mostly to never driving people around just for leisure.

You could see him scanning the gathering of people awaiting someone, in search for a sign with an all too familiar name on it.

When his eyes fell on you, he smiled, warmly. Approached you, in fact, and with the way this man maintained eye contact, you felt your knees go weaker with each step he took in your direction.

You now understood what everyone that had met him was going on about.

Your breath hitched in your throat, forcing you to clear it to avoid your voice coming out as a squeak.

While dragging in one long inhale, you tried to gather every last ounce of your confidence, praying to whatever higher power there was that neither of them would catch a whiff of your tense nerves.

Okay, okay. Oh god. Okay, be professional.

He's just another client.

"Good morning, welcome to Berlin!" A smile appeared on your lips as you were met with Joe's warm reaction before you went on with your usual routine as your brain defaulted to that, telling them your name, mentioning that you'd be here to drive them to their destination.

"Hey darling, pleasure to meet you", he shot you another warm smile, lightly touching your upper arm right above your elbow to emphasize what he had just said. You just couldn't help but chuckle lightly at his Britishness and his subtle yet intentional touch made your arm almost twitch. And the skin underneath your linen blouse warm up.

Darling.

You knew well enough that it was more of a casual thing for a British person to say and that there wasn't anything to read into, buuuuuut you just couldn't help the way you found yourself attracted to him. It was melting you. You felt warmth spread on your cheeks at his words.

All of a sudden, it became so much clearer as to why everyone's brain chemistry seemed to be altered in a good way after an encounter of this kind.

And to your surprise, your nervousness was slowly vanishing into thin air. His presence, the way he was looking at you all soft and gentle, his entire aura was calming you in a way you just didn't expect to happen at all while being around him for the first time.

The realisation that he was indeed real and just a human being was doing its part, you guessed.

As you lead them out of the building, straight to your car as discreetly as possible, trying not to evoke the attention of any potential fan, you felt his eyes on you.

Okay, let's stay professional.

Sure you had met all sorts of interesting people through your job, and yes, there also had been moments you had gotten a bit starstruck before. For example when you'd met Dave Grohl while driving him to an appointment at Universal the other day.

However, nothing you had experienced at your job had you feeling quite like Mr Joseph Quinn was making you feel.

You were internally dying to ask him a million questions. And you were going to be surprised at how many he was going to direct towards you.

"So, what brings you to Berlin?", you asked after the carry-on's got safely tucked away in the trunk and all of you had settled into your seats. His manager behind you, him behind the seat your handbag was still occupying.

From the address that was given to you, you could already tell what his answer was going to be, yet you wanted to hear it from him and avoid making assumptions.

You set the car into motion, leaving the parking bay to make your way towards the highway, and while you asked your question number one, you briefly stole a few glances at him through the rear view mirror, awaiting his response.

And yes, he noticed.

His smile appeared back on his face, before he started explaining how this trip was going to be the start of him being on the move back and forth between London and Berlin for the coming weeks since he got cast in something and was now set to film said something here.

"I am quite excited to be part of it, actually. It's gonna be directed by one of my favourite directors and I honestly have had my eyes on working with him ever since I went to drama school years ago", he explained further with a nod, another look at him through the rear revealing the small spark in his eye.

You were getting excited for him.

"You must be quite nervous then, meeting him and the cast and all for the first time?"

You were also almost stunned at yourself for how many words you were able to put into a cohesive sentence in his presence.

A light chuckle escaped his chest, "oh yeah definitely. It's always a bit nerve-wrecking meeting everyone. But the excitement about being somewhere new and being surrounded by new people and getting to experience new things kind of balances it out quite bearably."

His deep brown eyes found yours again through the mirror. The eye contact this man was able to hold, even without being face to face with his person opposite, was honestly impressive.

You wanted to tell him. About how you'd seen all of his previous work, how all of his performances always left you completely stunned out of your mind since you were unable to wrap your head around how anyone could be this good at acting and portraying characters the way he always managed to. About how proud you were of him, seeing him succeed and receive things he'd been dreaming of, getting the things in life he'd always seemed to want and work towards. About how you had nothing but utter admiration for him. But you couldn't, because that would mean overstepping your boundaries.

Maybe, just maybe you would say that at the end of the week, when you were scheduled to shuttle him back to the airport.

"That sounds .. bearable", you quipped before continuing on a more serious note, "is this your first time here then?"

"Yes and no, I think I was here one time with school, but that was ages ago. We went and saw a few places, as part of history class, but I didn't pay enough attention back then to remember details, if I'm honest."

He let out another one of his deep chuckles.

Delightful how he was elaborating on his answers instead of keeping them one or two-worded.

"Oh, that doesn't count then", you answered while putting the car in cruise control as you switched back onto the A113. Speed limit was at 120km/h and you intended to stay there this time.

"Yeah, I definitely need a refresher I think, maybe I'll have some time on my days off during the next weeks. What about you, are you from here?"

Why, need a tour guide, Mr Quinn?

Just now, the A/C brought a whiff of his scent around to you, which you hadn't really taken note of before when he had stood close enough while greeting you at the terminal. Sandalwood, bergamot, a slight note of lingering cigarette smoke.

Once again you shot him a little glance through the mirror, which is when you noticed that his manager had passed out with her head resting against the window.

Sleep deprived, aren't we all?

"Yes and no", you mirrored him, "I grew up the South, in an insignificantly small town somewhere between Stuttgart and Munich, if you happen to know where that is?"

Joseph nodded, still with a curious expression decorating his facial features.

A bit impressed at his geography knowledge, you continued.

"I was born in the West, my family's from there originally. But I've been living in Berlin for a solid five years now, so I do consider myself somewhat of a local."

"That sounds sweet. So you know all the good spots then, hm?"

"Oh, for sure", you replied quirking up an eyebrow and then paused when you took the exit onto the A10, just to ask him, "ever been on a German highway before?"

"Not that I can recall", his voice changed into one of a slightly worried tone and you had a feeling that he was raising an eyebrow at you, "um, why?"

"You're about to see, just let me know in case the speed is making you uncomfortable or anything, I can go slower."

You could tell from the expression on his face that he wasn't sure if he should laugh or be terrified about what you just said to him, but he ended up giving you the green light anyway.

You thanked him mentally for the trust he was instilling in you.

No speed limit for at least 12km, aka getting paid to play Formula 1 in real life. Unfortunately, morning traffic crossed your plans of mildly and humbly impressing him (and his still asleep manager), so the top speed for today stayed at a cozy 173km/h. And maybe it was a good thing, getting speedblocked by traffic and keeping you from exposing yourself as a douchey sucker for speeds above two hundred kilometers per hour.

"You must really enjoy driving", you heard him almost mumble, a smile playing on his plush pink lips, almost making the colour in them disappear as it grew wider. He looked as if something in his head just clicked into place and he had come to a realization.

"Oh, what gave me away?"

"I think it's the way you stay so calm and collected while switching lanes at light speed."

His conclusion made you snort a little, the way he said it with such British seriousness.

"It's actually my German genes, you know?", you quipped back at him, without taking your eyes off what was happening in front of you.

You figured Joe would be appreciative of that.

Throughout the whole rest of the thirty minute ride to Babelsberg, a part of the town of Potsdam, with Babelsberg itself being a prestigious area with all sorts of different film sets and a bunch of production companies located at, there was not a single second in which you felt uncomfortable. No awkward silence whatsoever. And you hadn't even have to be the one breaking the ice this time.

Because there wasn't any to break in the first place. It was almost like the two of you had met before.

However, you kept the topics of your conversation on a strict small talk level. Your own level of professionalism was nagging at your brain in the back of your head continuously. You shouldn't be engaging in sharing personal info. You weren't supposed to make and entertain any sort of deep(er) connection with clients.

They were just clients and you were just their designated driver.

So you kept the convo at a strictly friendly brief small talk level.

Eventually you reached the hotel your two passengers were going to be staying at for the time being, and after you had gotten their suitcases out of the trunk for them in the hotel entry way, you actually worked up the courage to ask Joseph for a picture.

You knew yourself well enough that if you didn't, you'd regret it for the rest of your time on earth. And surely this was a once in a time-on-earth encounter, right?

-----

Another few airport calls were awaiting you silently through single respective vibrations of your work phone.

The outlook on the rest of the day was making a rather dull impression on you, not surprising after the morning you just had.

Pick up a medium known German actress and transfer her to the set of a talk show. Some athlete needing to get to the olympic stadium for some training camp. Another journalist scheduled to attend a convention. Another random rich person able to afford private shuttle service asking you to drive them to some hotel in the center.

Your thoughts kept drifting to your (by far) favourite encounter of the day. Over and over and over again.

During your lonely lunch break on the parking lot of the airport's closest gas station, you couldn't stop yourself from grinning at your private phone screen, the few selfies Joseph had taken of the both of you being reproduced on the display and being swiped back and forth by your thumb.

He had swung an arm around your half a head smaller figure, pulled you surprisingly tight into his white button up covering his side, cap still forcing this light brown curls to stick to his forehead, the arm not surrounding you stretched out, holding your phone into the warm early summer air, spinning the both of you around to find the best angle and background with one of his silly little giggles filling your ears.

In one of the photos, a toothy smile spread across both of your faces; another was slightly blurred because his focus was lying on taking you in instead of bothering to hold the phone steady.

Yeah, just a client.

The rest of the shift went the utmost ordinary and usual way. Time flew, which you were thankful for, since the only thing you wanted to do at this point was go home, refresh yourself through showering your warmed up skin in cool water, and keep staring at those photos juuust a little more.

For what would be the last time today your work phone vibrated once more, and the reason appeared entirely clueless to you as you were already on your way home.

A direct message from your boss.

Hey y/n, special commission for you this coming week. You're going to be assigned to Mr Quinn exclusively for the entirety of his stay. He will need transfer between hotel and film set twice daily until his ADT on May 27. I know I can count on you. Cheers and enjoy the rest of your evening.

– Laurenz

The letters of the words became a blur in your periphery.

Oh dear lord.

-----

taglist is empty and open

#oh god here we go #nora writes #joseph quinn rpf #joseph quinn x reader #joseph quinn x fem!reader #joseph quinn fluff #oh boy #part one here we gooooo #night drive

[ophexis]

Today's food from the Neopets Cookbook was....

Space quesadilla!

Yknow at first I wasn't sure why this item was 11k neopoints but after making it I kind of understand lmao it's a little tedious. But it got me thinking back that 20 years ago I would not have been able to afford this food item in the game comfortably haha.

Started off with some onions and beans! You gotta cook the onions for a bit, then add the seasoning, then the beans.

Then you have to mash this whole thing in a "chunky purée"

I wouldn't exactly call this a purée, but I worked with it lmao. I'm not sure if it's meant to be softer than this or not but it worked out! Also to be fair I keep forgetting to buy a potato masher and had to make do.

Now it's time for assembly! A layer of the bean paste, and then a generous amount of cheese. In hindsight I shoulda put more cheese. But also at this point I'm very hungry and want to eat this thing.

The next step is to cut them into stars. This is a messy process and leaves you with a lot of extra cuttings. The cookbook suggest just cooking and eating them on the side, which yeah fair! But it does make a mess lol. The stars are very cute, but I probably wouldn't bother with it if I was gonna make this again haha. Would be fun for a party though!

All that's left is to garnish with pico de gallo! I omitted the cilantro in mine bc I hate cilantro and i know it likely changed the flavor but I don't care. Apologies for the messy presentation but I was hungry and also on the clock lmao. I may or may not have eaten one already. Also I suck ass at flipping stuff in pans sdfsg.

They tasted alright! There's a few things I would change from my first attempt (and I did do with the second batch): First I would put more seasoning in the bean paste. The two teaspoons of cumin kinda disappeared in all the beans. I think I could've used more lime juice too! Or just more salt.

Second I would use a mix of cheese. The cookbook suggest using cheddar or swiss (or a mix of both). I went with swiss for funsies but swiss alone was a little bland. In the second batch I added some cheddar and it was much better. And some green onions bc green onions are always good.

So this was neat! The taste was nothing to write home about but that's easily fixed I think, my second batch was much better. I think my pan got a bit too hot at the end too lol. Aside from the mess it was really easy to make though and cutting it into quarters was much faster and slightly less messy. But for a party or simply enclosure enrichment sometimes cutting your food into stars is just fun.

"See y'all next time!"

#neopets #Phex cooking adventures #looking forward to seeing which cookbook is chosen for next week

[askprophetbot]

Silver, Prophetbot, and Magpie all travel to Magpie's Treasure vault. Magpie waves his arms dramatically and....

uhh...

Magpie waves his arms dramatically and...

It uhh... it isn't doing anything.

Ugh. SHEPHERD!!! FIX THE DOOR PLEASE!!

Magpie, we are still working on the automatic door. You'll have to turn the handle for now.

Oh.

Open the door for me. I want this to be dramatic.

The Shepherd Sighs and says sarcastically: Yes sir. Right away sir.

Magpie waves his arms as the shepherd opens the door, revealing an almost futuristic room. The room is divided in two, by a large glass wall. A large shelf full of several gadgets and gizmos takes up most of the far wall.

Welcome, you two, to Magpie's Future Gadget Lab, and Treasure Vault! This is where we store all of the unknown devices, and known devices, that arrive via the spikes!

All of this came from the spikes? I don't recognize half of this stuff,

And that's why all of this stuff is so cool! Come check some of this out!

Magpie rushes over to the shelves excitedly, and holds up a large white gadget. The center glass tube glows a light blue.

I call this one the "Hole Blaster"! It blasts holes and then you can walk through them! It's great. Or I assume it would be if it worked anymore. Someone touched the operational end of the device and it broke. BUT LOOK AT THIS ONE!!!

Magpie rushes over and picks up a bucket.

This, is a BUCKET!!!!

Dear C:// drive!

You know it says here this bucket is the property of someone called "Stan Lee". I can't read but that's what Calamus told me it said.

IT'S MINE NOW!!!! HAHAHAHA!!!! Anyways look at these!

Magpie pulls out two different sized metal tubes. The tip of the smaller one glows a bright blue, while the larger one has a deep recession in the top.

Ok so these two look pretty similar but are really different.

Magpie holds up the small glowing one

This one, when i turn it on, makes a really loud noise. Ready?

Magpie turns it on, and it makes a high pitched noise.

[I AM A ROBOT AND I CHEESE A FROWN LOUD MASSIVE BEANS ANGRY HAPPY STELLAR ORANGE JUICE]

Huh i did not know that was going to happen. how do i...

Magpie turns a dial on the device and points it at prophetbot, then turning it on

i have seen god and they have no mercy

(plaintext: i have seen god and they have no mercy)

Yeah he's fine. Anyways, look at this other one! This one makes extra light!

Magpie turns on the second metal rod, and from the hole in the rod comes a long beam of light, that ends at a point. Magpie waves it around estatically.

SUPER DUPER GLOWSTICK! Perfect for lighting up dark areas.

May I see?

NO! IT'S MINE! YOU CAN'T HAVE IT!

Plus, you might break something. I think this thing took an arm off of Remige earlier. I could be wrong though.

What does this one do? Silver points to a metallic box plugged into one of many outlets.

That's a toaster. It turns bread into toast. I don't even know why that's in here.

Sigh. Of course...

Anyways, let's get you two kitted out with some LOOT!

#prophetposting #os game rp #oneshot game #oneshot prophetbot #oneshot magpie #oneshot silver #oneshot shepherd

[darkestprompts]

What kind of beverages (they don't need to fit within the DD universe) would the heroes drink? I feel like PD would be fascinated with the pearls in milk tea to a concerning extent. I want to give Abom a caprisun. Love your takes btw!!!

Alhazred: loves a good coffee, likes to try different types, but is very particular about the quality of the beans and torrefaction.

Josephine: gave Alhazred the hint of where to get his perfect 100% arabica, but is more of a tea girl. Her favorites are traditional indian chai and hibiscus kombucha.

Paracelsus: you are correct, she loves a good taro with tapioca pearls. She justifies it by listing the many benefits of mixing tea and milk, but really, she just likes the consistency and the funny balls.

Boudica: mead, of course, but also sports drinks like Gatorade. She needs to replenish her strength!

Barristan: milk and yogurt drinks, abides by the wisdom that you NEED to drink your milk to keep strong and healthy. Only one that thinks Yakult isn't gross.

Missandei: don't ask me why, but she strikes me as a milkshake girl. Like she treats herself with a big burst of sugar at the end of the day because, damn it, she works hard and she earned it!

Audrey: yeah, it's absinthe, big shock. She's also fond of cocktails, especially Death in the Afternoon.

Amani: citric juices. They give her energy and make her think of sunlight when she misses home.

Bonnie: mulled apple cider, hot enough to burn your tongue off. She finds it comforting.

Baldwin: enjoys all sorts of fragant herbal teas, especially flower-based ones.

Bigby: needs to discover hot chocolate IMMEDIATELY.

Damian: is a silly man that dislikes nice things. Only drinks fresh water and communion wine.

Junia: she'd love guaraná (guarana-plant based soft drink). It's fresh and sweet and bubbly and has no sinful/decadent implications. A guiltless pleasure.

Highwayman: distilled drinks like brandy, gin and whiskey. Likes coffee but unlike Alhazred is completely happy with the cheap stuff.

Reynauld: swears he actually likes those super healthy grain and nut based drinks. Nobody believes him.

Margaret: I'm thinking eggnog for some reason. Maybe because it's something you'd drink at a family party and she had a stable home.

William: makes the kind of vitamin that mixes everything under the sun. It's surprisingly good, though.

Sarmenti: gets obsessed with one drink for like three weeks then spends two years unable to look at it.

Edit: Fuck, I forgot Tardif

Tardif: loves sangria. It's alcoholic enough to get him buzzed but the sugar and vitamins in it are good to keep you from getting completely hammered or the dreaded wine hangover.

#darkest dungeon #asks #anon #dd lists #dd ensemble

[sour-heart-treats]

[Almnesia was His Name - CW: Memory Loss - Next]

Unlocking the door to his warm little home, the detective known as Almond would step in and set to work on relaxing for the evening. It's with a solemn smile that he would lock the door behind him and begin his waltz into his kitchen and make use of a coffee machine that's nearly as overworked as he is. Though the day was mostly a blur to him, apparently his colleagues told him he'd done good work as usual, even if some assailant got away. Alm couldn't recall who the criminal was or the fact that he was supposedly attacked by them, but hey, can't remember every single encounter he's had. Not in his old age, certainly.

The coffee machine beeped loud enough to bring the detective out of his hazy thoughts, and after waiting a few moments to let the machine finish its dripping, he'd grab one of his glass mugs from the above cupboards and scavenge through the kitchen drawers until he found where he left his sugar and creamer. With all that and a spoon to stir with, Almond would pour and mix himself up a coffee sweet as icing. Ah, good coffee... and hot! It's a good thing no one else was home, otherwise, he'd have to drink it black for the sake of his hard-boiled appeara-

Taptaptaptap-

The sound of footsteps nearly made Almond spit out his coffee. Someone was in here? Who? Was it that someone he was hearing about at his job earlier? His hand reached into the inner pockets of his jacket, manifesting his enchanted cuffs. The investigator had half a thought to call out to whoever it was that was wandering his home uninvited, but kept quiet as he'd prepare himself for whoever decided to make his home into a B and E. He's in his own home, it's self-defense.

The steps would get closer, and though Almond was ready to pounce at any point, what he winded up seeing was something that he hadn't expected. A... child? A little kid. Hair tucked to the side in a unique nut-like shape, nutshell hat on the head, looking at him adoringly. Uh. Alm blinked, softening and putting away his cuffs as the young one entered the room and walked up to hug his legs as if this one's known him for years. "I missed you!!" Uh. "Miss Latte brought me home today because she said you were busy! I hope you didn't work TOO hard again!!" How did this little one know Latte? Was this one of his students? If that was the case, then why would the other professor bring this one here?

Something didn't sit right here. What kind of act was this little girl putting on? "Uh... kid...?" He'd start, hesitantly, feeling almost guilty the way that this child looked at him with glimmering eyes. "How did you get in here?" He'd ask with full earnest, "When did you? The door's always locked when I leave." The kid blinked at him, looking perplexed, then worried. "Mom..." She'd speak quietly, voice full of disappointment. Unaware of the true meaning, Alm would take it as some kind of plea. "Did something happen to your mom? See, honey-" Almond would rifle through his clothes to find his badge. "I'm a detective. If something happened to your mom, I'm sure I can find out." And in response, the child would tear up and cling closer to Almond's legs. "Uh," he'd instinctively let out a surprised grunt and sigh afterward. This was exasperating. "...poor youngster."

The sounds of crying would permeate the air, ruining Almond's desire to drink his freshly brewed bean juice. Though it was awkward, the detective would put away his badge and instead try to comfort the little one by patting her on the head. Well, headpiece, but close enough. The child would sniffle, "This... this is a joke, right, mom...? Don't be mean..." Ah, so... HE was supposed to be this kid's mom? That... he doesn't remember ever having a child. Or did he? Ugh, why was his head pounding at the thought...? "Kid, I don't know who your mom is, but... I don't think that's me. But until we find her-" "-him-" "him, I guess you can stay with me, got it?" That question didn't make things better. Crying even harder, tears flowing like a waterfall, the investigator would breathe a heavy sigh as the young one pressed her face into his pant leg. "Sorry, kiddo..." He'd apologize, though wouldn't finish his sentence. What was Alm even supposed to be apologizing for? For not being this youth's mom?

Trying to brighten the mood even just a little, the inspector would try to bring his pitch up. Use the tone he uses with his students when they're getting frustrated with homework. "Say, uh... what's your name? Let's start there." "So mean! You know my name!" Though the elder wanted to retort that he truly didn't know, he'd get his answer anyway. "It's Walnut! I'm Walnut! Mom, stop joking with me!" "I'm not-" Ack, brain ache... Almond set a hand to his head and hissed, though tried to keep his reaction diminished to not worry the child in front of him more than he already had. Well, worry... more like upset. Greatly upset. That name didn't sit well in his brain, apparently. What a migraine... "Okay, Walnut, let's-..." Alm shook his head. "Are you hungry? Maybe you'll feel better if you eat something... And we can go from there."

#almond cookie #walnut cookie #cookie run #crob #cookie run ovenbreak #angst drabbles #self indulgent writings #memory loss warning #amnesia warning #Walnut calls Almond mom and i'm not changing this- it is simply a fact

[aquietanarchy]

Yarrow, do you happen to have any good vegan recipes that you'd be comfortable sharing on tumblr at all? Have been trying to eat way less meat and am somewhat hankering for more recipes than my two vegetarian cookbooks have. (Hope you're doing well!)

sure thing! it might get a bit long because i really like food. you know how some dogs are primarily food-motivated and will do anything to get a treat? i am one of those dogs lmao

i'm really bad at making decisions, including what to eat, so lately i've been "stealing" some recipes from Purple Carrot. the whole meal plan/food delivery thing doesn't seem practical to me, but they post all their recipes for free online and i really enjoy a lot of their ideas, just modifying them a bit for my own needs. for example last night i made this Crispy Harissa Tofu, except a) didn't have fresh mint available so i used dried basil; b) had raisins in my pantry already so i used those instead of currants; c) couldn't find harissa locally so i literally just used sriracha, and made a separate dijon mustard-based glaze for my husband who can't handle spice; and d) i'm okay with honey so i used that instead of agave. (maple syrup or simple syrup works too as a vegan sweetener) ...so a lot of my cooking is stuff like that, finding a recipe and only vaguely following it. i've been modifying Purple Carrot ideas for maybe the last month and a half or so. only having 8-15 recipes to choose from helps a lot with my decision fatigue so i might be doing this for a while xD

here's some more websites that i like to look at for inspiration:

From My Bowl

The Buddhist Chef

Minimalist Baker (not everything here is vegan, but still a lot of good, simple ideas)

Cheap Lazy Vegan (the title of this one says it all <3)

Shane and Simple (i don't agree with the whole diet-culture flavored "oil free" thing, but i remember really liking a squash casserole i made from here before)

Plant-Based on a Budget (i followed some of their meal plans back when i was first going vegan and they were very helpful! i got sick of oatmeal real fast though and am only in the last few months enjoying it again)

Pinch of Yum (again, not all vegan, but still plenty of ideas)

Holy Cow Vegan

Rabbit and Wolves

Here's a few easy staple dishes that i fall back on regularly:

-spaghetti: you can spruce up canned marinara by first cooking onions and garlic in margarine before adding the sauce, and get some protein in there by either using plant-based "meatballs", lentils, or textured vegetable protein. you can also make a nice mock-parmesan topping by adding walnuts, nutritional yeast, onion powder, and garlic powder to a food processor and pulsing it until its crumbly. or just use a generous amount of nutritional yeast. i know i'm being that stereotypical vegan by hyping up nooch but it's SO good and life-changing i swear to dog

-tofu stir fry: press extra-firm tofu to get as much moisture out as possible and cut it into cubes. fry in sesame oil with seasonings of choice. (salt and pepper, of course; if you can get or make a Chinese Five-Spice blend that works really well; otherwise i would probably fall back on a blend of cumin, cinnamon, anise, and ground ginger). cook the tofu on high heat for about 3-5 minutes and set aside, then dump a bag of frozen stir-fry vegetables into the same wok or skillet and continue to cook on high heat. add in minced garlic (i keep a jar of pre-minced garlic in my fridge because i'm lazy), ginger paste (again; lazy), some brown sugar (or other sweetener), a hearty splash of soy sauce (or tamari), and some lime juice (or other acid-- i was out of lime juice the other night so i used rice vinegar, and that worked well) ...you can see i don't really "measure" things lol. cooking is an art and baking is a science which is why i don't bake serve cooked vegetables and tofu on top of rice or noodles

-rice bowl: rice and beans!! canned beans because who has time for beans!! very good with roasted broccoli, sweet potatoes, brussels sprouts, or butternut squash(you can roast most vegetables straight from frozen) and topped with a creamy sauce. if you're in the Pacific Northwest of the US and can get your hands on it, i highly recommend Yumm Sauce. i am addicted to this stuff and go through it too much so i've had to start to looking for alternatives because it is admittedly a bit pricey for how quick i can go through a bottle. a lot of vegan creamy sauces will call for soaked cashews, which requires a level of forethought i can't usually commit to, but is worth it when i remember to soak the cashews beforehand. other than that, tahini is my go-to base for a creamy sauce; i just whisk it together with lemon juice, syrup, garlic, some water, salt, and pepper.

creamy root vegetable soup: start by sauteing your aromatics (onion, garlic, leek, shallot etc) in olive oil. add Root Vegetable (carrots, potatoes, parsnips, beets, celery root, whatever you have on hand) and continue to saute for about ten minutes. add vegetable broth and a can of coconut milk. bring to a boil then reduce heat and let it simmer for about 20 minutes. add some acidity at the last minute, with vinegar or citrus juice. you can use an immersion blender to make it extra creamy or just eat it as-is

salad: arugula, spinach, or a spring mix for the greens, plus nuts and dried fruits, and some mock-chicken strips if i'm feeling fancy. make an easy vinaigrette dressing with olive oil and balsamic or red vine vinegar, plus a bit of salt and pepper and maybe some dijon mustard

general vegan tips:

-most tofu recipes are best with extra-firm tofu. just press it first by placing it on a plate, covering it with paper towels or clean kitchen towels, and then put another plate on top and let it sit for a bit. but if you're pressed for time, in my experience usually just firmly and thoroughly patting it as dry as possible before cutting works good enough

-while i love cooking, i'm also aware that i'm liable to run out of spoons at any moment, so i allow myself to take as many shortcuts as i can. pre-minced garlic and ginger paste, pre-made spice blends, even pre-cut and frozen produce, etc

-salad greens can last up to two weeks in the crisper if you put a paper towel in with the bag/box

-mushrooms last a lot longer if you store them in a paper bag

-oat milk is my favorite plant milk because it's very creamy and is much more neutral tasting than soy or coconut. if you're trying to replace milk and fat is one of the main things you're getting from that milk, try not to use almond milk because it's thin and sad and flavorless

-cooking oatmeal with oat milk is existentially weird but overall tasty

-there are a lot of great meat alternatives out there nowadays! Gardein has good frozen meatballs and chicken strips; Beyond Meat makes good burger patties and sausages; Field Roast also makes sausages that i enjoy; and Tofurkey has some good chicken alternatives. if you can find it, young jackfruit makes a really good alternative to pulled pork. i made some tacos with it a while back and it was uncanny how meat-like it was. the only thing with jackfruit is you might want another source of protein with your meal, since the fruit itself doesn't have much i don't think

-any balanced meal imho should have a combo of carbs, protein, and fat. mix-and-match plant-based macronutrients to find what works for you. grains are a good source of carbs: i love white rice (easy to cook), couscous, millet, and even the occasional quinoa; legumes and nuts provide a good amount of protein; nuts and seeds are also great for fat, along with coconut and avocado

-nutritional yeast nutritional yeast nutritional yeast nutritional yeast nutritional ye

-oreos are vegan thank god for oreos

hope this little ramble was helpful! :3

#answered #fannish-snailien #like. i really AM food motivated #i make meal plans for each week and it's absurd how much it helps with my depression #like...having yummy stuff to look forward to is enough to get me out of bed and semi-functional lmao #fuck diet culture #if food is my motivation for living a good life then GOOD i have a reason to live bitch!!! #my other piece of advice is related to this: if you're going to plan recipes make sure they're recipes you're excited about #don't feel obligated to eat something if it's healthy but not appetizing #idk my two cents #long post #food #recipes #vegan #plant-based #veganing on main #resources

[trash-monkey]

Ran's Little Dragon

Chapter 4

With a yawn I open my eyes to find it's morning and that Ran is still surprisingly sleeping next to me with a arm thrown over his face, I stretch out my short limbs before carefully letting myself down from the bed without waking Ran up and got out clean clothes from my box that's been placed next to the bed. Being as quite as I can I take a bath after using the toilet and dry myself then put on the clothes, once everything is done I sneak out of the room and travel to the kitchen for food to find it surprisingly empty of anyone. Opening the fridge I take a slice of cheese when found along with ham and the bottle of ketchup with the help of a stool to make my breakfast sandwich while deciding to drink orange juice with it, after cleaning the mess up I wonder around only to get lost half way through since the Manor is large and maze like.

Peaking around a corner for a third time to see a familiar living and Hanma back on the couch like he was yesterday while Rindou is sitting across him with Wakasa beside him, with a smile I ran over causing them to be alarmed by my feet slapping on the floor.

"Mr Death, Rinrin." I giggled out while completely ignoring the other person before hold my arm up in a pick me up gestures when I'm standing next to Hanma bean stock legs which he did and set me onto his lap after moving his laptop to make room for me.

"Dragen, why do you call him Mr Death for?" Rindou questions my nickname.

"He mind me of grim reaper me watch on twv one time." I shrub my shoulder with the lie, not wanting them to know of my knowledge of their past before Hanma asked where Ran is.

"Sweepping" I press the arrow key to move my water boy character forward while Hanma is fire girl and we work together to solve the puzzle since he allowed me to play on his laptop, I wordlessly convinced him to play with me.

"Who got you washed and clothed then?" Wakasa asked me.

"Meself" I answered right as my character missed the jump causing him to fall into the green acid and they didn't like my answer one bite.

"Why! You could hurt yourself doing that!" I frowned at Rindou's angry voice.

"But...but I do it all time with Ma, she do not hwlp or get angwy when I find food to eat when I get hungwy." My eyes tears up at his anger making him sigh in regret at rising his voice at me.

"Dragen, your mommy was a bad one she was supposed to take care of you like every other good mommy and you're too small to be doing these things by yourself because you'll get very hurt. You understand?" I sadly nod knowing that it's true since I did struggle early.

"Okwy" my voice waivers in agreement while giving another nod which Hanma ruffle up my hair.

"You need a hair cut." He points out and I give a shake of my nod which he questioned why I don't want it cut.

"Me want it wong so me can put it in braids." I answered causing him to giggle.

"He's going to look like Ran when he was in his teens!" He laughed and Rindou agreed at the statement, a wide awake Ran still in his PJs runs into the room only to deflate when seeing me on Hanmas lap. Rindou tells him what I've done while he's asleep which he sigh at.

"This is for your own good and to teach you to never do anything by yourself again until your a very big boy, you get five minutes in timeout." He takes me from Hanma and into a corner of the living room causing disbelief to cover my face before displeasure and anger does as I cross my arms while mumbling to myself, knowing it's better this way doesn't mean I have to like it. Five minutes late of staring holes into the wall Ran finally walked over already dressed in his suit and his hair fixed.

"Daddy has work to do so I'm leaving you with Uncle Rinrin and you'll be getting your new stuff today, ok? Love you!" He hands me over to Rindou after leaving a kiss on top of my head and left the Manor.

"Have you eaten yet?" Rindou asked which I nod causing him to sigh.

"You did it yourself, right?" Once again I nod.

"Don't do that, if you're ever hungry just come to one of us and or the maids." With a pout I nod before seeing that everyone in the living room is gone when looking over Rindou's shoulder while he walks out, once we're at his car he puts me into the booster seat in the back seat that he had a maid immediately ordered and shipped yesterday. Luckily the drive to the mall is short and soon we find ourselves in a children's store, my eyes sparkle when they land on dragon onesies when we're going through the clothes section. I always wanted dragon onesies when I was a kid but since I'm one again I can have it.

"Rinrin, that!" I got his attention and points to what I want from where I'm sitting in the chart, dragons where always my favorite mythical creature and now I'm named after them.

"You like dragons?" I nod wildly causing him to smile and put three different colors into the chart before allowing me to stand on my feet.

"Stay where I can see you." He strictly ordered before I start taking a look through the clothes while he put simple stuff in for when I do dirty activities, with the help of Rindou I put in two different colored dragon hoodies, three cartoon dinosaur hooded pajamas dress, monster tee & overall shorts, a bat child leash since I'll needing it knowing Kanto Manji gang, a puzzle of people fighting a dragon, a stuffed skeleton snake that flows in the dark, a dragon plush backpack and more before we finally finished up in this store. Along the way we stop at a pastry shop where Rindou allowed me to get one and eat on the way back to the Manor.

"Everything in the car needs to be put up and assembled together." He orders some maids on the way in.

"It's awhile longer before your dad shows up, you want to watch a movie while we wait." I shouted yes and bounced in his arms which he drop me onto the couch with my snake, getting comfortable I lay down right as the movie starts to show it's Cars. Without my permission my eyes droop until sleep takes ahold of me which I'm gently forced awake sometime later to find myself in Ran's arms at the dinner table.

"Hello my little dragon, how was your nap?" He ruffle up my already messy hair before giving me bites of his dinner and I nod at his question before speaking.

"You back, Pap?" He nods.

"Yep, I finished everything I could so I can spend tomorrow with you." I rise my arms up while saying yeah but I quickly pout at the next information.

"While we're at it you need a check up at the doctors to make sure everything is fine with you."

"But me fine." He smiles with a chuckle.

"We don't really know that, little dragon."

'what's with the nickname?'

I push that though away since it might be Ran being Ran and continue to steal his dinner until I'm full.

"You want to watch the rest of the movie?" He asked which I said yes to before asking for milk, he stands up with me sitting in his arm while using the other to pour milk into the blue sippy cup and he hands it to me after putting me back on the couch.

"Rinrin?" I asked where unlce has gone to and he answered it with that he had work to do so I put my attention into the movie when he unpause it.

_______________________________________________

#fanfic #male y/n #male reader #anime #tokyo revengers #tokrev #tokyrev #child reader #tokrev rindou #tokrev ran

[the-broken-truth]

Broken-Style Remix: Platonic Yandere Bruce Wayne + Bat-Family & Dakota Blake (Part 4)

SUBTITLE: BRUCE & MARISSA

Summary: Marissa Blake is at home working on a new project for her company when a knock on her door distracts her. She opens it to find a rather angry-looking Bruce Wayne. What will this conversation yield?

[The Blake Residence - Marissa's Office - Around 4:30 P.M.]

Swift fingers danced along the keyboard of the desktop as brown eyes watched the code appear on the monitor, a smile on the face of the woman who was making the code before she yawned and stretched before finishing the line of code and saving the work to a flash drive in the same of a corgi - it was a gift from Dakota when she was 6 years old and Marissa treasured it from the first day she got it. The Blake Woman stood from her chair and left the office, going into the kitchen just as the coffee maker buzzed to signal that a new pot of coffee was ready - just what the coder and artist-illustrator needed to get her brain fueled.

Marissa walked into the kitchen with her coffee mug in her hand before grabbing the coffee pot with her other hand and pouring the rich bean juice into her cup when the doorbell rang throughout the house. Marissa raised an eyebrow - all of her family members had a key and never used the doorbell & she didn't order food or a package, so who could that be? Placing the cup and pot down, the woman walked out of the kitchen, through the living room, and to the front door before opening it and her eyes widened at the sight of the person on the other side of the door.

"Bruce?" Marissa asked the man who glared at her with his blue eyes - eyes that were as blue as her daughter's, Marissa knew she was in for a ride for having a Wayne's Kid but she never had trouble with Dakota as a kid...the problem would come with her father. "What are you doing here, Bruce?" She asked him.

Bruce opened his mouth to speak but the sound of phone cameras clicking, people whispering, and videos being taken made Bruce walk into the apartment, much to Marissa's displeasure but she closed the door nonetheless and folded her arms as she glared at the back of Bruce Wayne as he looked around the apartment.

"This is where m daughter has been living for the past 16 years?" Bruce asked as he turned to face the woman who birthed Dakota, "With your pay as a Game Designer and Coder, you could have bought a more suitable place for a Wayne Heir, don't you think, Marissa?"

"Dakota didn't know she was a Wayne Heir until you came into her life and turned it upside down. Or, at least try to. She's still the same girl that I raised, completely selfless and uncaring of her Paternal Lineage." Marissa said as she walked over to the sofa and took a seat before offering Bruce the chair that Dakota loved sitting in. "Now, why are you here, Bruce?"

"I'll get straight to the point: I want you to transfer Dakota's Custody to me." Bruce said as he reached into his suitcase and pulled out some paperwork, "Sign these."

"You're out of your damn mind if you think I am going to give you my daughter Bruce. I raised that girl with blood, sweat, and tears; you think I'm just going to hand her to you just because you're Bruce Wayne? Hell no. Besides, you have a son - Damian, right? Just make him the Wayne Heir." Marissa threw her hand up at Bruce who glared at her.

"That's the thing - Dakota is my eldest daughter - my only daughter - and I want her to have the life that has been denied to her for all these years. You kept her from me but I want her back now. Sign the papers, Marissa, and I'll give you as much money as you want." Bruce said but Marissa looked pissed off at him.

"Money? You think I want Money?! I want nothing from you, Wayne! I have my daughter and there is nothing I will do to give her to you. Get the hell out of my house before I call the police on you for trespassing." Marissa rose to her feet and Bruce followed her and reached a hand out to grab her arm, but, suddenly, the window broke and something came flying through the air, sliced the back of Bruce's hand - making him pull his hand back, and looked at the object stuck into the ground: A simple arrow.

Bruce looked out of the window and saw a figure standing on the roof with a bow and arrow aimed at him but he couldn't see their face - they were wearing some kind of mask and all-black attire.

"The Hunters are here, Bruce." Marissa said.

"Hunters?" Bruce asked as he held his bleeding hand.

"A Vigilante Group - Something like the Bat Family but more stealthy. I'm under their protection and if you don't leave now, they are going to put an arrow in your head. Now, leave." Marissa said as she pointed at the door, causing Bruce to look at the arrow before walking out of the door with his suitcase in his uninjured hand. He looked at the roof and the Hunter was gone. Where did they go? Why was Marissa under the Protection of the Hunters? Just who were the Hunters?

#platonic yandere #bruce wayne #oc: marissa blake #dakota blake

[palfriendpatine66]

What is bean? Is it real? Will the world end if I ever witness one? Is it plural or singular? Why British like bean? Why car and bean? Poetry and bean? Are some people Starfish jelly bean, like you?

Very seriously, thank you for your ask. I will be thinking about this all day. I know it's not what you intended here but I appreciate the engagement. I appreciate you being here, I super wicked appreciate if you actually read all of this and you deserve a gold star.

Ok, now, PREPARE YOURSELF!!! you sparked something in me with this ask and I'm about to go off on one of my very favorite things about psychology: cognitive essentialism (real, actual psychologists, brace yourselves I've been out of university for 9 years and I'm going to just say what's floating around my brain right now and not look anything up. I'm sorry) Rant below the cut!

OK so as we grow and develop, one of the most important jobs our brain does is start sorting things into categories. It's really super good at doing this, babies are doing it all the time: observing objects and actions happening all around them and drawing conclusions about how the world works. Is an essential basis our learning and compiling knowledge: forming categories (ex. things I drink) and adding things that fit into this category (ex. milk, water, juice) and making a generalization about why they belong together, what defines them (ex. they come from a cup). An experience that challenges this then redefines the categories (Ex. They experience something being in a cup that we don't drink. Like..idk. paint for an art project.) and then learning takes place when the parameters are redefined (ex. I only drink things that are given to me, or things that smell good, or something. idk. this was a bad example to use).

BACK TO THE POINT: Cognitive essentialism! Is basically that there comes a point where our knowledge is based on something that "just is". It can't be redefined any more, it can't necessarily be rationally explained. We cognitively believe that there is just something essential about this thing that makes it what it is. My professor's example of this changed my philosophical life lol: The world is made up of squirrels and not squirrels.

If you ask someone what a squirrel is, they can provide features that define it, right? Its a small mammal that lives in trees, eats acorns, it scavenges through the winter. They're grey or brown/red. Ok, yeah. And it's different from a chipmunk, which is similar, because it does have different observable characteristics. This makes sense to our brains. BUT cognitive essentialism is that there's a point in our brains where a squirrel is just a squirrel because it is and something else can't be a squirrel because it's just not. Is a squirrel still a squirrel if it loses it's tail due to injury? Is it still a squirrel if it doesn't have fur? At what point is it not a squirrel? Can it ever change from being a squirrel because it began its life as a squirrel, or is it always a squirrel because that's its innate identity?

This is something that really super genuinely interests me - both in the cognitive development sense of how we come up with those essential unmalleable categories, and in the more philosophical sense. And this is what sparked my weird lecture (sorry). WHAT IS BEAN? is bean different to you and me and the next mutual? IS there something essential that makes a bean a bean? When is a bean not a bean?

this has been your pal's lesson in cognitive psych that no one asked for 😝

#bean #thanks anon! #your pal goes on a rant #your pal's existential crisis #cognitive essentialism

[anonymous-dentist]

DSMP Season Two, Episode 3- "Crown of Thorns, Cross of Gold"

Scene Seven

[Int. White House dining room. Night.]

[Candles sit on the windowsills and a chandelier hangs low over a long dining table. Withered roses, the same from S2E2's dinner date scene, sit in a cracked vase in the center of the table. There are lines of chairs along either side of the table, but only two people are sat at it.

Schlatt sits at the head with blood still trickling out from his nose. He has an air of disgust about him, though it's impossible to tell if it's aimed towards himself or his dinner partner. He has a glass of wine to one side and a chaser of straight vodka to the other. A spread of fine dishes is in front of him- potatoes, green beans, desserts before the dessert course, mushroom soup after the soup course. Before him on a fine china plate is a wing of roast duck.

On the other end of the table is Quackity, still dressed in his suit from S2E2 dinner date scene. There is dirt on his hands and his face, and his hair is grimy and stuck together. It's clear that he hasn't slept since the last episode. Schlatt, in comparison, looks well rested. There are no dishes in front of Quackity, just a glass of orange juice and a pack of saltine crackers.

There are no noises other than the scraping of Schlatt's fork against his plate and the faint crackling of the fireplace.

Abruptly, Schlatt takes a swig from his wine and grimaces. He slams the glass down onto the table and glares at Quackity accusingly.]

Schlatt: The fuck is this supposed to be?

[He lifts the glass in Quackity's direction, muttonchops twitching in irritation.

Quackity blinks confusedly.]

Quackity: The fuck is what supposed to be?

Schlatt: [Scoffs] Don't play dumb. The wine, dude, what the fuck is wrong with it?

Quackity: How should I know? I don't touch the stuff.

Schlatt: Yeah, well, good. It's gone bad.

Quackity: Isn't that the point of alcohol, though?

Schlatt: Isn't what the point of alcohol? That it's shit and makes me sick? Are you really saying that-

[Quackity sits up and shakes his head, eyes wide.]

Quackity: No! Nonono, I'm saying that I thought that alcohol was, like, spoiled shit. Grapes and stuff.

Schlatt: God, you're dumb. No, Quackity, alcohol is not just 'spoiled shit'. It's good shit. Makes you stronger. Sharpens the mind.

[He taps his temple with the pointed end of his knife. Quackity somehow doubts that this is what alcohol does, but he wouldn't know otherwise. He's never had any. He's 19, after all.

Schlatt, despite his arguing, finishes off the wine and moves on to the vodka. He doesn't complain about that, but he looks like he wants to.]

Quackity: ...so, how's the vodka?

Schlatt: [audible eye roll] It's fucking vodka, dude, it's not gonna be great.

Schlatt: Hey, why aren't you eating nothing?

[Quackity shrugs. He picks up his glass of orange juice and swishes it around like wine.]

Quackity: Not hungry tonight. Had a big lunch today with, uh, with Fundy and Tubbo. We went out. [quick to add] We meant to invite you! But we- we just figured you were too busy doing... things!

Schlatt: [unimpressed] 'Doing things.' Right. Well. Lemme tell you something here, baby, 'cause I'm real hurt, okay? I made aaaall this for you. All of it.

[He gestures towards the plates of food. A roast duck missing both of its wings and a portion of its breast sits dead center of the spread. Quackity tries not to look too nauseous at the sight.

He was in the home when the Postmates order arrived.

Still, Quackity nods his head, blushing slightly in easily-faked embarassment.]

Quackity: Sorry, sorry. I'll go get a plate, sorry. I know you worked hard on this, let me go get a plate.

Schlatt: [affectionate, barely] Oh, don't worry about that, sweetheart. I'll get one for you.

[Quackity squirms in his seat as Schlatt leaves the table to get a plate from the cabinet on the wall. The china within is the same as what was in the decorative shelves in Niki's Bakery in S2E1.

Schlatt takes a plate and brings it to the table. He carefully carves a slice of thigh from the duck and slaps on a bread roll next to it before bringing it to Quackity.

He caresses the back of Quackity's head as he slides the plate in front of him. Quackity leans into the touch, eyes fluttering, a smile crossing his face just briefly. Schlatt's smile is almost identical. Lit by the fireplace, it almost looks as tender as Quackity imagines it feels.

Quackity looks down at the plate and frowns, though he quickly fixes that.]

Schlatt: ...don't you like it?

Quackity: No! No, I do! I just... you didn't get me any silverware. That's all.

[Schlatt's attitude shifts. His hand, still tangled in Quackity's hair, curls into a fist. Quackity winces, but he doesn't make a noise.

Schlatt's smile fades into a scowl, clearly displeased.]

Schlatt: Am I a fucking servant to you or something?

Quackity: No! No, sorry, I'll go get it myself! Just... can you just... let go?

[Schlatt leans in close, face shifting into disappointment. A pout, even.]

Schlatt: C'mon, dude, just eat something. You're worrying me. I'm scared you'll go get the silverware and ditch me to go hang out with someone else. We haven't had a night together in weeks, baby, c'mon. Just do me a solid and try it?

[Quackity sniffs. It's allergies, he'll say, but he's a politician. All they do is lie.

He nods and picks up the duck thigh with a shaking hand.]

Quackity: Yeah, of course. Of course. I'm sorry. I can't wait to try it, baby, it smells delicious.

[And he raises it to his mouth, Schlatt whispering something inaudible into his ear.]

#c!quackity #c!schlatt #a.d.'s fics i suppose. #a.d.'s fics i suppose #this is my entry into the hypothetical dsmp tv show