#beef x reader

[womburt]

Caught in the Rain; C. VintageBeef x Reader

Yay under-appreciated hermits week! Beef is my absolute favorite and it is a CRIME that there is so little reader-insert fanfic for him, so here we are :-)

In which Beef and Y/n find each other in a downpour, and spend the long and drizzle-y walk home together <3

———

“Y/n!”

They spun on their heel at the sound, raising an arm to shield their face from the onslaught of rain they’d found themself caught in. His voice was instantly recognizable to them, its tone bright with concern. They squinted their eyes, just able to make out his form.

Beef stood a few yards away, a large yellow raincoat covering his torso. He had one hand on his hip, the other raised to his forehead. He appeared to be shielding his vision as well, watching them from a distance with large eyes.

Y/n winced with embarrassment, all-to-aware of their soaked clothes and general aura of misery. Still, they smiled at the bearded man, unable to help themself. Beef could do that to them, coax a smile even when they were drenched with downpour and shivering.

“Hey Beefy,” they called out pitifully, waving shyly with their free hand. It shook as they did so, fingers wrinkled and unsteady.

Beef was frowning at them by that point, and Y/n felt themself shrink beneath his gaze. They hated to see Beef upset. He was such a ray of sunshine on the server, always smiling and bringing joy to the hermits. It wasn’t often that he wore sadness on his sweet face.

“You’re soaked!” Beef announced, dropping the hand that shielded his eyes and walking toward them. It was then that Y/n noticed the rain boots he wore - bright yellow to match his coat. Mud stuck the bottoms of his shoes, and Y/n had to muffle a laugh at his ensemble. Still - he was far better prepared for the storm than they, so they kept their giggle to themself.

“I know,” Y/n teased, dropping their arm as well, accepting their watery fate. Beef was in front of them now, towering over them with concern. They looked up at him, meeting eyes with his blue irises. His lips were slightly parted, the hint of a smirk just barely gracing his expression. Y/n heart fluttered at the sight, taking pride in the fact that they'd made him smile, even if he was trying not to.

“What are you doing out here in this storm?” Beef asked, already shrugging off his coat. He pulled his arms out of the sleeves first, and then brought the whole thing over his head, disregarding the zipper at the front. Y/n watched unabashedly, eyes following his, now exposed, arms.

“Oh you know, enjoying the weather,” Y/n joked back, voice becoming muffled when the yellow coat was tugged over their head. Surprised by the motion, Y/n stood still, allowing Beef to maneuver the clothing piece until it was facing forward. He reached in from underneath, guiding their arms through the sleeves with a gentle touch. Y/n remained quiet, their skin burning with each slight graze of his fingers.

“You’re freezing!” Beef exclaimed once he’d gotten them situated in the jacket. He pulled his arms out from under the material, reaching over Y/n’ shoulder and pulling the hood over their head. Y/n watched him with careful eyes, basking in his closeness.

When Beef was finally satisfied with his work, he took a step back, hands falling to rest at his sides. Y/n nuzzled their head further into the coat, breathing in the familiar smell of the man stood across from them. It was earthy and warm, reminding them of late nights spent in the woods, or in his company.

“Now you’re gonna get wet,” they observed meekly, frowning at their realization. Beef’s top was already soaked through, clinging to the undershirt he wore. His pants shared a similar fate, though their darker color helped disguise it.

Beef shrugged, his short hair laying flat on his head. Y/n pouted at his indifference, beginning to pull their arms out of the sleeves of his coat. No matter how good it smelled, or how nice it was to be protected from the rain, they weren’t going to just let Beef give up his jacket for them.

“No, don’t worry about it! I needed a shower anyway, let’s just find shelter!” Beef threw his hands out to stop them, holding their wrists through the thick yellow fabric. He smiled reassuringly at them, looking around in all directions before making a decision.

“I think spawn is that way!” He nodded off toward the dark oak forest, gently tugging on them, having yet to let go of their arms. Y/n allowed themself to be pulled, still not entirely satisfied with their raincoat situation.

Beef dropped one arm to his side, Y/n suddenly feeling very cold where it had been holding them. The other, he let fall to their hand, interlocking his fingers with theirs. His was thick and calloused, Y/n noticed, gratefully accepting his offer by squeezing his palm. They gulped down the butterflies that threatened to spill out of their throat, unused to prolonged physical contact from Beef.

The man in question didn’t waste any time, pulling them in the direction he thought led to shelter. Y/n followed along dutifully, glad to have someone else to take them home. They’d sort of just planned on wandering around until they found civilization.

“How long have you been out here for? Your hand is all pruney,” Beef joked, yelping when they knocked into him with their shoulder. Y/n wrinkled their face at him, but made no move to let go of him.

“Long enough,” they answered finally, looking at the nonexistent path ahead to avoid whatever kind of disappointed look Beef was planning to give them.

He bumped them with his shoulder in retaliation, much softer than they had to him.

“I’m just messin’ with ya. I don’t mind holding your wrinkly hands.”

Y/n’s heart burned in their chest, the butterflies in their stomach swarming around in circles. They were almost sure that Beef could hear their thundering heartbeat. How could he not when it felt like it was about to pound out of their chest?

They made no response to him, burrying their face into the hood of his jacket. Beef seemed to understand anyway, chuckling at their embarrassment.

They walked in silence for a while, allowing the pitter-patter of rain to do the talking for them. Some quiet animal noises could be heard in the distance, leaves crunched underfoot, Beef’s silly yellow rain boots creating a makeshift road that was sure to be washed away by tomorrow.

Eventually, the trees cleared and the pair caught sight of a few identifiable buildings at spawn. The GigaPie shop stood proudly in front of them, its smoke billowing out into the dark sky. Beef celebrated out loud, mumbling something about how he knew they’d find their way home. Y/n just smiled at him, too exhausted to join in on his excitement.

“Alrighty, let’s get you inside,” Beef announced, pulling Y/n in the direction of their starter base. They stood in front of their door in no time, ducking under the cover so that they were both finally out of the rain.

Y/n dropped Beef’s hand hesitantly, not missing the way his fingers trailed over their knuckles, seemingly equally unwilling to let go. They took a step back from Beef, carefully pulling his coat over their head, the same way he’d put it on them. They held the jacket out to him, their fingers brushing together again as he laid the coat out over his arm.

“Thanks for walking me home,” Y/n smiled bashfully, looking down at their shoes. They’d been absolutely destroyed on the walk home, caked and stained with mud.

“Anytime!” Beef was quick to answer, beaming at them. Y/n looked up at him with a smile of their own, much preferring his face to their dirty shoes.

Beef held still for a moment, his eyes trained on their cheek. Cautiously, he lifted his arm, cupping their face with his hand.

“You’ve got- hang on.”

Swiping his thumb over their cheekbone, Beef made a quiet “aha!” sound and took his hand from their cheek. Y/n couldn’t help but touch their face where his skin had been, missing the warmth it had provided them. Beef held his thumb in front of their line of sight, just about even with their lips. Y/n looked at the finger to see an eyelash leashed right atop the pad.

“Make a wish,” Beef encouraged.

Y/n but their lip and closed their eyes. They made up a wish in their head and leaned forward to blow the eyelash off of his thumb. It took a little bit of effort due to his hand still being a little wet from the rain, but Y/n managed to get it to flutter away.

When they looked back at Beef, his cheeks were a dark red. He didn’t bother to move his hand, so Y/n did it from him. They held his left limb gently, lowering it in between the both of them. Neither made a move to let go.

Beef glanced from Y/n’s eyes to their lips and back again. Both were still, waiting for the other to make their move. Y/n gulped down their nerves, preparing themself to lean in.

Beef beat them to it. He rested his right hand on their jaw again, softly pulling their face up to meet his halfway. They came nose to nose when he paused again, his warm breath tickling their skin. Y/n’s eyes were half lidded, staring up at him with want and a little bit of nervousness.

“Can I kiss you?” Beef asked, just loud enough that they could hear. His voice was low and gravelly, sending another fit of butterflies loose in Y/n’s stomach. They allowed their eyes to shut the rest of the way, absentmindedly leaning into the hand cradling their face.

“Please.”

It was all he needed. Beef leaned forward, lips finding theirs in an instant. He guided their intertwined hands upwards, coming to rest on Y/n’s waist. They stepped impossibly closer to him, pressing themself up against the yellow raincoat that was between them.

It was over all too soon, Beef pulling away reluctantly, resting his forehead against theirs. His breaths were shallow, and the hand holding their jaw smoothly rubbed back and forth over their skin.

Y/n opened their eyes after a minute, finding that he was already looking at them. His cheeks were flushed, the rest of his expression soft, lips slightly parted and eyebrows drawn up.

Beef cleared his throat, shaking his head like he was coming back to reality. Y/n’s chest swelled with pride, they found themself unable to hide their smirk. They stood up on their toes, placing a chaste kiss on Beef’s pink cheek. He reacted wonderfully, turning an even darker shade of embarrassment.

“Walk me home anytime,” Y/n flirted, finally dropping his hands and unlatching their front door to take a step inside. Beef smiled bashfully at them, slowly tucking his hands in his pockets and cringing at their dampness.

“Gladly!”

#vintagebeef x reader #beef x reader #vintagebeef #hermitcraft x reader #hermitcraft #mcyt #mcyt x reader #underrated hermit <3 #beefers <3

[elis-corner]

Hi El!! Beef is literally my favorite hermit so I rushed to your asks lol-

Anyway! Would you consider writing something where Reader finds Beef working too hard on his maps? Maybe he’s been skipping sleep to keep building/generally just not taking care of himself, and then Reader forces him to take a break?

No worries if not, love your writing by the way! :-D

I'm glad to have gotten a request from you! This was loads of fun, and I love your writing too <3

For the next week, I am writing for who I believe are underappreciated Hermits, a task provided to me by @boop-ity! Writing for new people was loads of fun, Beef especially! Beef is a highly entertaining, charismatic hermit with his own unique charm, and is working currently on a Pokemon style card game. Check him out! On the topic of this specific fic, if someone reading this is not aware, Beef’s parents are from Portugal, and growing up he spoke Portuguese. There is more info about this roughly 39 minutes into Episode 48 of the Mindcrack Podcast. Around 40:40 he says something in Portuguese to Millbee, and the response it has gotten from people including myself resulted in me using it in this fic. To anyone who knows the language, I apologise if I got something wrong, I was going off what the comments said.

Underappreciated Hermits #1 - VintageBeef

The wind fought against you, trying to flip you backwards as you flew down the nether tunnel. For somewhere with no real sky, the breeze always surprised you, and heat from the nether was sometimes hard to glide through. Landing by the isolated portal your frequent journeying leads you to, you step into the swirling mist of purple. A burning feeling like a cold flame enveloped you. As you close your eyes and breathe deeply, the image of the portal is imprinted in the back of your head. The image warps, taking the form of a person smiling at you, mouth moving speedily and hands gesturing wildly, and yet you could hear nothing. It was but a memory, a moment from the past eternalised within your mind.

Your eyes fly open as you hear a voice slowly grow louder. You hop out of the portal and creep towards it. You spy a tall figure placing an assortment of blocks, all with similar colours and yet a variety of textures; sandstone and sand, terracotta, and more. The sky surrounding the two of you is a gradient of a warm orange to a cold midnight blue as the sun began to set. You’d been in the tunnels that long? He was much too far from spawn. Much too far from you. 

‘Talking to yourself now, are you? Have you really been here that long?’

Beef spun around, jumping slightly at your voice being so close behind. ‘Y/n! I wasn’t expecting you today! Now what brings you here?’ He wiped some sweat from his forehead with his left hand as he bent down to place the shulker he held on the ground.

You gently take his now empty hand in yours. ‘I’m here because a certain someone has been out here for weeks without even coming back to spawn, not even to check their highly successful shop’s profits. You didn’t even visit me,’ you added softly.

‘Ah, shoot,’ he exclaimed, quickly stepping forward. His arms enveloped you in their warmth. The hug was tight, as they always were; you were pressed up against his chest so closely you could barely turn your head from its awkward sideways rotation. ‘I’m so sorry, love. I was so distracted with my maps, and I just really wanted to get a few more completed first. At least before you came over, that is. Uh- fly up with me, how about, and get a better look.’

Beef stepped back from you and lit a rocket, jumping up for a mere moment before he was propelled up into the deep sky. You followed moments after, continuing to glide upwards. Your lover’s hand brushes against yours. He calls to you softly to look down and you do.

The large platform you had been standing on loomed below you, and yet not as an assortment of random materials. It took the form of an artwork, a masterpiece, each block placed meticulously to get exact shades and shapes. The person on the card was stunningly portrayed, more gorgeous than you’d assume them to be in reality. The person on the card was you.

Beef looked at you nervously, fiddling with his suspenders as he hung midair. ‘It’s not done quite yet, but–.’

You spun around to look at him, beaming. ‘It’s wonderful, really. Although I must say I reckon you’ve exaggerated a few things. I can’t be even close to that good looking.’

‘You’re more than that in my eyes. Your eyes are stunning, your skin is flawless. I could never create something that even comes close to looking that wondrous.’

You smile softly at him. ‘You’re biassed–.’

You’re cut off by an ear-splitting shriek speeding towards you. Phantoms. You draw your bow, assisting Beef in felling them from the sky, one by one. The ghostly creatures–how else could you describe them?–were menacing, and you were glad they could be prevented. And you were preventing them by sleeping. At least, you should have been. They couldn’t have been yours.

You and Beef landed softly on the platform he used to create his cards. He grabbed your hand and ran, ran, ran, leading you to the nether portal. His arms circled your waist as you both waited to escape the impending doom caused by his mistake.

‘You haven’t slept?’ you questioned him. Your voice broke the awkward silence that had slowly begun. ‘You should have been looking after yourself, Beef! Have you even been taking breaks from that thing?’

‘Yeah, of course. I’ve just been forgetting to sleep the last few day is all!’

You grabbed his wrist and tugged him gently in the direction of the main portion of the hub. ‘Come home with me and get some rest. Please, love.’ Beef’s arm relaxed and he nodded, letting you guide him through all thirty segments of the yellow tunnel and back to spawn. Back to where you had all started. Back to home.

You both ran through the night to avoid a second disaster, leading Beef to your starter home. ‘I haven’t been here in a while,’ he stated, walking around slowly with his head tilted slightly above eye level. ‘You’ve done quite a bit!’

‘And I’m about to start my megabase.’ You gesture towards the plans hanging loosely from the wall outside your bedroom. ‘You really haven’t been here for quite some time.’ You grab some clothes from your wardrobe–either they just so happened to be his size or he had forgotten them here, who knew?–, and tossing them to him you went to go change in a different room.

Upon your return, Beef was lying in your bed on his side, facing you. He extended his arm–as if you needed to be invited into your own bed–and slowly lowered it again once you were next to him, so that he’d be able to keep you close while the night flew away. The grin that had been conjured onto his face by your arrival showed a small sliver of white. As you looked up at him, his smile closed and he bit his lower lip for a moment, before whispering into your ear. His voice was deep and slow, sending chills up your spine and your cheeks to burn.

‘Y/n,’ he whispered, his large hand resting above you moving to rub slow circles onto your cheek, ‘A tua cara é tão linda, eu quero te beijar.’ His hand rotated to tip your chin upwards. He kissed you gently, head tilted slightly to the side. His rough beard scratched against your chin, but every other sensation you were experiencing made it barely there, nor any form of inconvenience. ‘Goodnight, my love.’

You closed your eyes, and let sleep take you, held tightly in the arms of the man who loved you more than life itself.

#boop mellon nin #womburt mellon nin #my writing #vintagebeef x reader #beef x reader #hc x reader #hermitcraft x reader #mcyt x reader #the underappreciated hermit series

[werecreature-addicted]

I'm so sick of Werewolf x Bunny!!!!! There are so many other animals out there!!!!

Lamb/ sheep, an innocent little thing who's never been off the farm, and thinks the wolf is just trying to feel their fluffy tail while the big bad wolf gropes their ass.

Deer being chased and hunted by every wolf in the forest, they're the prize everyone wants to catch, and mount (ha) on their wall. And when they get caught they get claimed while the rest of the pack seethes in jealousy.

Fox/ Cyottee who thinks they're hot shit and likes toying with other little vermin only to be caught off guard by the bigger wolf and fucked into submission.

Fucking wolves eat fish throw in a river mermaid. It doesn't even have to be the whole hunter/ hunted dynamic write a werewolf/ mountain lion pairing. Cowards.

#this is a personal beef #obviously it's fine if you like to see cute little bunny reader get fucked by the big bad wolf #I'm just personally looking for more variety #werewolves #werewolf #monster #monster imagine #werewolf x reader #teratophillia

[martiniluvr]

I just read your NSFW alphabet and hear me out. Jason fucking reader in the batmobile, let the man play out his fantasy

may your harvest be bountiful anon. I was praying someone would ask for this muahaha 😈 you can find the prompt from the nsfw alphabet here ❣️

18+ minors dni

warnings: semi-public but not really 🏎️

★・・・★・・・★・・・★

you should probably have tried to sound a little more appalled when jason todd told you he’d ‘borrowed’ the batmobile, but there was something about the way he was sitting in the driver’s seat, with his red hood mask over his face, and his arm hanging out of the window, that weakened your resolve.

all it took was a cock of his head and a coy, “you gettin’ in, ma?” for your scowl to melt into a giddy smile. that’s how you found yourself here; zig-zagging through traffic in gotham with a barely-reformed crime lord piloting the in the batmobile like it’s a ferrari. sure, piss off batman. what could go wrong?

thankfully, you don’t have time to dwell on the thought as jason’s hand inches up your thigh, slipping under the hem of your short dress. “wanna take a detour?” he asks, and you can practically hear his grin under the mask. you glance over at him with a smirk as he veers off the city’s main motorway, heading towards the old harbour.

★・・・★・・・★・・・★

jason’s large hands knead the soft flesh of your ass harshly as you grind against him on his lap, dragging you along his rock hard length and drawing out another whine from your lips. maybe it’s the knowledge that you’re in the batmobile when you definitely shouldn’t be, maybe it’s that jason is in his full red hood gear, or maybe it’s just because it’s car sex—whatever the reason, there’s a sense of urgency between you that has you both rearing to go now.

you lean back slightly to unbuckle jason’s belt, your back bumping into the steering wheel as your hands move dextrously. “shit, you in a rush, princess?” he chuckles, but you barely hear him. your lower lip is between your teeth as you work fast to free his cock from his boxers, and he hisses in pleasure as you pump him gently, smearing his precum down his shaft. he reaches between your legs to hook his finger around your panties, pulling the gusset to the side.

his green eyes widen as he feels your slick drooling out of you—fuck, you really are in a rush. you align your hips with his again, teasing your entrance with the tip of his cock. in the dim light of the setting sun, he can see the way your eyes flutter shut at the feeling, and it sends heat rushing down his abdomen. you brace yourself on his shoulder with your free hand, sinking down on him gradually. you’re so wet that it only takes a moment to adjust to his size before you’re rocking against him again, and he pulls you back in for another hungry kiss, guiding your hips with his hands.

jason grins as he feels your cunt tightening around him when he brings his fingertips to your clit. “what, already, ma?” he teases, pretending his own release isn’t just moments away. “c’mon, that’s gotta be a new record.” you try to laugh, but he increases the pressure on your clit, and you arch your back as the coil in your belly tightens. shit, you realise, you’re about to cum in the fucking batmobile.

“fuck, jay, I’m so—” you begin, tangling your fingers in his hair. he cuts you off by sucking harshly at the delicate skin of your throat, and instantly you feel the coil snap. you cry out as you convulse around jason’s cock, slumping forward onto his muscular chest with a shiver. the sensation of your walls clamping down on him like a vice makes jason dig his fingers into your flesh as he pumps his own release into you, swearing raggedly as his hips buck.

the batmobile is silent apart from your heavy breaths, and the windows are conspicuously fogged up. you’re glad the harbour is deserted, or rumours might start circulating about what batman gets up to in his free time. jason runs his hands along your back tenderly, laughing to himself. “what?” you ask with a smile, picking your head up off his chest.

“that’s been on the bucket list for a while’,” he grins, and you giggle. you’re about to pull him in for another kiss when an incoming message from bruce wayne that makes your eyes widen lights up the dash. you know there’s a tracker in the car. I suggest you and your guest bring it back now. there’s a pause, and you and jason share a panicked look right as a second message comes through. in good condition.

#jason todd 🤝 defacing the batmobile #his beef with that car…unparalleled #luv u brucie xoxo #jason todd #jason todd smut #jason todd x reader #jason todd x you #red hood #red hood smut #red hood x reader #red hood x you #dc comics #batman #batfam #batmobile #fem reader #batboys

[cinnamon-galaxies]

Hi! I saw that your request box was open. Could I request a Alastor x fem!reader who is a mornigstar, charlie's older sister and she is engaged with Alastor. In episode 5, Dad beat Dad, I thought their relationship is kept secret and was revealed later on shocking lucifer and their friends

Dad beat Fiancé beat Dad

Pairings: Alastor x Fem!Reader / Alastor x Morningstar!Reader

Tags: hurt/comfort, (a little bit of) fluff, secret relationship/engagement, Alastor vs Lucifer, Morningstar!Reader, Fem!Reader

Warnings: language/swearing, kiss, argument/bickering, reader is Charlie’s older sister, English is not my first language!

Summary: You are Charlie's older sister and secretly engaged to Alastor. When your sister invites your father to the hotel to ask for his help with her rehabilitation program, you look forward to his arrival. However, things take a turn when tensions escalate between your father and your fiancé, leading to heated bickering. Overcome with frustration, you finally lash out and accidentally reveal your engagement to the King of Hell and the hotel's residents.

Wordcount: 5.4k

A/N: This one turned out so long! I really hope you like it and that the story meets your expectations! English is not my first language so I want to apologize for possible grammar and spelling mistakes. I really tried my best to make as few mistakes as possible!

───*✱*.｡:｡*✱*.:｡.*✧*.:｡*✰*｡:.*✧*.｡:.*✱*｡: ｡.*✱*───

“Well, I’m actually running a hotel to rehabilitate sinners. Maybe you saw our commercial,” you heard your younger sister speak into the telephone, releasing a nervous chuckle here and there. Then a sigh escaped her lips. “Listen, dad, I’ve got kind of a big ask…”   You stood a few feet away and stared at her, unsure what to think of this whole idea. Was it really that smart to ask your father to organize another meeting with heaven? The last one already didn’t end well. But what other choice was left for you? Still, it released a weird feeling inside your guts, now that you watched Charlie calling your dad, since your and your sister’s relationships with him were kind of… special. Your father tended to distance himself from the both of you for the most time, bathing in his own emotional dilemma and not even trying to do anything about it. Thus neglecting the both of you. Well, at least he called your sister five months ago regarding that meeting with Adam in heaven’s local embassy. But when it comes to you it’s been even longer since you’ve talked. Maybe a year? Or even longer. You didn’t actually know and also some part within you didn’t even want to. But what you knew is that you missed him. Although, in contradiction, you weren’t really fond of him at the moment. It’s not that you didn’t love him. He was your father, regardless, and you both shared a lot of wholesome and fun memories. But since your mother had left him seven years ago, things had turned out strange and you didn’t really approve of his weird-ass behavior towards you and your sister. Still, you hoped your father would agree to help you out. Maybe, just maybe, there was a probability that you saw him again. You had so much to tell him. Your life has changed a lot since you started supporting your sister in the hotel. And even before, when you met Alastor…

Lost in your thoughts you missed parts of the phone call and as your consciousness returned to reality, you saw your sister taking the phone down and ending the call. Curious about the outcome you cocked your head. “What did he say?”

   “Well,” Charlie stared at an empty space for a brief moment, “it seems that dad will be coming over.”

   Your mouth fell agape and your eyes widened in surprise. “Wait, really?” you asked her and a huge smile grew on your face. “That’s awesome! When?”

   Charlie proudly straightened her back and stemmed her hands into her hips. “We have an hour until he gets here.”

   You turned around to face the other residents who sat on the couch and raised your voice, “Okay people. Dad’s on his way, so we’re getting this place presentable and we are all going to make an amazing impression. Let’s go!”

   That’s when Vaggie spoke up, “That’s a great idea! Husker, Angel and I will go get some decorations for the lobby,” her eyes wandered down to Niffty, “Niffty, you and Sir Pentious will bake some cookies so we have something to eat when it’s time for coffee.”

   Nifty nodded exaggeratedly, almost vibrating from that force she put into her motion. She instantly grabbed Sir Pentious’s hand and dragged him down the hallway towards the kitchen. When Husker, Angel and Vaggie went to get the decorations from the storage room you and Charlie were left alone. 

   “Are you as excited as I am?” You asked her with a moving voice and examined your sister expectantly. It was no secret that Charlie took that whole situation with your father a bit differently from you. While you almost imploded waiting to get a chance to meet him again, your sister was more reserved and kept herself a bit more distant from him. Even though she was the one your father seemed to favor when it came to dealing with the conflict with heaven. It didn’t matter that you were the older daughter… 

   “Ahm… I don’t know,” Charlie responded nervously stroking her neck, “I mean, yes, I am. But at the same time…” She hesitated and you put your hand on her shoulder.

   “Don’t worry, sis. I can understand,” you reassured her with a calm voice and smiled at her with genuine eyes. You could feel her shoulders relax under your supporting gesture.

   “Thank you,” she responded and returned your smile. “It’s just… You know, since he and mom split, I often don’t feel like his daughter anymore. Yet he sounded very excited to come over.”

   You took a deep breath and removed your hand from her shoulder. “We’ll see how things are going when he arrives.”

   Charlie chuckled. “Well, I think you should go and inform Alastor about our special guest,” she requested, raising her eyebrows in concern. Charlie was the only person at the hotel who knew about your secret relationship with him. When you decided to knock on the door to propose your support to your sister, you and Alastor were already dating. In fact, you were the one who dragged him here because – regardless of his fearful and sketchy reputation – you knew he’d make a great hotelier and protector for the residents during future exterminations. But you both didn’t introduce yourselves as a couple right away. Instead, you found common ground in letting your sister know but keeping it hidden from the other residents. There were several reasons you both had decided against making your relationship public: Alastor’s reputation as the Radio Demon, yours as Lucifer’s oldest daughter, the gossip, the media… These and many more were all things you didn’t want to deal with. Especially since Alastor was a very private person who despised showing affection outside his private space and you, as a person who had no desire to brag about your partner, were totally fine with it. What happened in private chambers stayed in private chambers. That was your agreement, and if you let your friends know about your relationship, there would be too much risk that it would eventually become public. The only other person next to Charlie, and outside the hotel, who knew about your and Alastor’s connection, was his decades-long friend Rosie.

Repeating your sister's request in your head you nodded in agreement. It was the best to prepare Alastor. Even though an hour alone wouldn’t be long enough for him to digest the fact that he was about to meet your father. “Oh, I think he’ll be excited about the news,” you responded with a sarcastic tone and couldn’t help but release a malicious laugh. Oh, how much he will hate this...

You heard Charlie laughing along and shaking her head in amusement. But as quickly as the amusement appeared, it disappeared as you continued to think about the fact that Alastor was actually going to meet your father. With a deep breath you dropped your smile and lowered your voice. “Do you think it would be a good idea to tell dad about Alastor and me?”

   “Ahm…” Charlie seemed to think about it more carefully before commenting, “I actually don’t know… I wish I could tell you but that’s something you and Alastor have to decide. First of all, I’d wait until after they had their first impressions of each other. Then… maybe… introduce him to the truth? I mean, if you and Alastor plan to stay together, what I hope – I mean… It’s obvious, why else would you date if it isn’t for staying together?” She chuckled at how much she was lost in her words and cleaned her throat. “I’m sorry. What I mean to say is that it would be beneficial for your shared future if you let dad know. At least at some point in the future.”

   You nodded in understanding and gifted her a slight smile. “Thank you. Maybe I’ll talk to him about this later. First of all, I need to prepare him for meeting his soon-to-be father in law.” You laughed and excused yourself before you left the lobby and went upstairs.

   When you arrived at Alastor’s radio station you knocked on the door.

   “You may come in!” you heard Alastor’s dulled voice through the door and opened it. When you entered the radio station you immediately saw him sitting at his desk, leaning over some papers and holding a pen in his hand. When you closed the door, he placed the pen to the side and turned to look at you.

   “Why hello, darling,” he greeted you, his signature smile on his face but his red eyes revealing a neutral expression. “What brings you here?”

   “Well...” You took a deep breath and strolled towards him with your hands folded behind your back and your lips pressed to your teeth. “I’ve got some news for you that you’ll probably hate.”

   “Oh?” he responded curiously and tilted his head to the side. His red hair swayed with the movement.

   You arrived at his desk and leaned against the tabletop, your front mostly faced towards him. You tilted your head in the same direction as he did and couldn’t manage to suppress an amused smile. “My dad will be here in less than an hour,” you said with a cocky voice and watched Alastors expression shift as his lips curled up around his smile and his eyes immediately twitched. An awkward silence fell over the room before he broke it with a snippy tone, “You’re right. I hate that news.” His neck returned to a straight and more natural position and you chuckled.

   “Vaggie’s the one to blame. She came up with the idea that Charlie should call him to ask for help because she could no longer bear seeing my sister ripping her hair out in despair over her missing rehabilitation success,” you explained and a growl escaped Alastor’s throat. He already didn't like Vaggie and now he probably liked her even less.

   “Splendid,” he said without enthusiasm and stood up from his chair, grabbing his microphone cane and leaning on it. Now taller than you, you had to tilt your head back to be able to look him in the eyes. “How about I excuse myself and disappear for another set of seven years?”

   “Oh, no, no, no, no, no, no, no,�� you responded, raised your index finger and waved it in front of him. “You will stand your ground and behave. It’s just my dad.”

   “He’s the king of hell, darling.”

   “And that's why you'll be going down there and prove to him that you're a worthy partner for his princess daughter.”

   He gritted his teeth and your smile widened as you nonchalantly brushed the wrinkles out of his coat.

   “Are you questioning my abilities, darling?” He asked, placing one of his hands on top of yours, thus stopping your movements and squeezing it.

   You felt your cheeks blush at his affectionate action and stepped closer to him, your body now close enough that it almost touched his. You could feel the warmth radiating off him and tilted your head slightly, your eyes still locked with his. “No, I’m not. And that’s exactly why I want you to do as I said.”

   “Oh, is her dear royal highness misusing her mightiness to give me an order?” he asked with a low and unusually soft voice and a shiver ran down your spine. Oh, how you loved it when he became flirty. His charm was able to captivate you instantly, weakening your legs and waking those tingling butterflies in your stomach. He removed your hands from his coat and pulled you closer to him. Your body now touching his, you felt the urge to rest your head into the crook of his neck but resisted.

   “She indeed is. And you better behave, peasant,” you teased him back and Alastor narrowed his eyes at you degrading him like this.

   He let go of one of your hands and instead cupped your cheek before using his fingers to lift your chin up. “You seem to forget that I’m your finacé”, he purred, leaning in closer until only a few inches separated your noses from touching. His hot breath stroked your face and you could’ve sworn that his eyes had turned to a darker hue.

   Without further hesitation he pulled you into a tender kiss. His lips brushed over yours and you leaned in closer, succumbing yourself completely to him. Your free hand roamed up and slid through his hair, pressing his face closer to yours. After a few moments of togetherness both of you let go of each other.

   “We should return to the foyer. My dad can arrive any minute,” you said and stroked his cheek before heading towards the door. You could hear Alastor sigh behind you.

   “Just as a reminder: I can’t promise you things will go well.”

   You rolled your eyes as you left the radio station together. “At least try.”

   After you entered the foyer most preparations were already done and it didn’t take long until your father arrived. Your body was shaking from excitement as you and Charlie went up to the door and your sister opened it.

   "Charlie!,” your father shouted with joy. A huge grin sat on his face and his yellow eyes sparkled as his gaze fell on your sister who stood much closer to him. He held out his arms and approached her, pulling her into a hug. “It’s so good to see you!”

   “It’s good to see you too, dad,” Charlie pressed through the tight hug of her father, overwhelm and a little bit of uncomfort in her expression.

   When Lucifer let go of her his eyes fell on you. "Y/N! You’re here too?” his pupils dilated in surprise and you immediately found yourself wrapped in his arms as well.

   “Dad!” you greeted him as you placed your hands around his torso and squeezed, the soft fragrance of his cologne entering your nose. He smelled the same he always did, the scent taking you back to the past when your family was still together and healthy. It was wonderful to be this close to him after such a long time and you wished this moment could last longer. You looked to the side and saw Alastor standing near your sister. But what you didn’t see was one of his eyes twitching at your father’s gesture.

   You let go of each other and Charlie held out her hand, spinning and pointing at the lobby. “Welcome to the Hazbin Hotel!”

   The other residents greeted him with waving hands from afar and your father smiled back at them, walking through the lobby and letting his gaze wander around. “Wow, this place looks, uh…” he twisted his mouth in an unpleasant manner and frowned, searching for the right words. He chuckled nervously and you and Charlie exchanged glances as he stammered around, turning to the side and surveying the establishment as if he was a property inspector. You could tell that nervousness spread across Charlie’s face as she probably hoped his words wouldn’t be too dismissive. You shrugged your shoulders at her to dismiss your father’s unsettling behavior and followed him.

   “What do you think, dad?” you dared to ask him in hopes he’d come up with a response a little faster if you pushed on him a little.

   “It’s got a lot of character,” he eventually said and winched with a squeak when he turned around and laid eyes on the bar. “What in the unholy hell is that?” he asked repulsively and pointed to the swampy-looking counter decorated with skulls and two full snake skeletons wrapped around the poles. The green wood paneling disrupted the noble red wallpaper of the looby, making it appear like an eyesore amidst the otherwise mostly luxurious decor.

   A dark shadow crawled around the floor and took the form of Alastor who appeared right next to him. “Just some of the renovations we had done! ” he explained, pointing his cane at the bar, his signature smile wide and confident before he turned towards Lucifer and leaned on his cane. “Adds a bit of color, don’t you think?”

   “And you are?” Lucifer asked with raised eyebrows, a skeptical tone in his voice.

   You, again, exchanged glances with Charlie and held your breath. The moment has come in which your father and your financé had their first contact and somehow you got the feeling that this won’t end well. Your sister seemed to be fearing the same and she stepped closer to you. Her presence calmed your tension at least a little. 

   “Alastor,” your finacé introduced himself, “Pleasure to be meeting you, sir. Quite a pleasure!” He shook your fathers hand and you could see the disapproval in both their eyes, before they let go. Your father grimaced while Alastor wiped his hands over his coat.

   This most definitely won’t end well. But before you and Charlie could say something, Alastor continued, “It’s nice to finally put a face to the name. You are much shorter in real life.”

   You breathed in sharply. Your father didn’t seem to take his comment well as his expression immediately turned to annoyance. You and Charlie both approached them, your sister standing next to your father while you kept closer to Alastor. You really hoped that he’d notice your disapproval over how things were going and slow down a bit. But you knew him well enough to be sure he wouldn’t notice the tension in the room and also wouldn't care if he did.

   “Who is this?” your father asked, his eyes fixated on the demon before him. “Who’s this now? Are you the bellhop?”

   Alastor laughed in response. “No! I’m the host of the hotel. You might’ve heard of me from my radio broadcast,” he explained.

   Your father pretended to ponder his words for a very short moment but then denied with a derogatory snort. “Nope! I guess that’s why Charlie called it the ‘Hazbin Hotel’?” He laughed at his pun, this time more maliciously. The tension grew stronger and you didn’t even realize that you held your breath and pressed your fists so tightly together that your nails painfully stung your palms. Your sister, on the other hand, nervously rubbed her hands.

   Hiding his offense, Alastor piled into your father’s laughter, “It was actually my idea.”

   “Well, it’s not very clever!” your father responded, increasing his laugh.

   Alastor did the same and leaned in closer, “Fuck you.”

   “Alastor!” you yelled at him in shock and disbelief over his rude words and took him by his arm, dragging him to the side while your sister shoved your father into the other direction.

   “What the fuck is wrong with you?” you scolded him with a lowered voice to keep your conversation as private as possible. He’d never been someone who cussed so why did he have to do this now of all times?

   “He started it,” Alastor explained, keeping his face turned in the other direction to avoid eye contact.

   You breathed in sharply, anger boiling within you as you hissed, “I don’t care about who did what. You were supposed to make a good impression!”

   “Excuse me, dear, but it seems that your father and I don’t get along. And this seems to be based on mutuality. I don’t know if you noticed this but he already looked at me disapprovingly before we even exchanged words.”

   Oh, you did notice this. But you didn’t care because in this moment it was important for both of them to at least pretend to tolerate each other. You couldn’t afford your father and your finacé to already disembowel each other during their first encounter. Important aspects of your shared future relied on their correlation. And… Was Alastor even listening to you?!

   You snatched his cane out of his hands and spinned it around.

   Alastor finally turned to look at you, his teeth gritted and his eyebrows pushed together. His gaze became softer as he eyed your expression but he still seemed tense.

   “You’ll put this right, Alastor. Or otherwise…” You don’t finish your sentence and instead poke the pointy end of his cane between his ribs.

   “Fine,” he growled and took his cane back.

   You both turned around and saw Charlie pushing your father in your direction, her arm resting on his shoulder while she talked to him insistently with a calm but worried voice, “Without Alastor, we wouldn’t have been able to pretty it up this much!”

   Alastor took a step closer, tapping his fingertips on his cane. “Charlie has a very unique vision,” he started and stood next to her, forcing himself to sound as honest and courteous as possible, “I am happy to fulfill her bizarre requests.”

   “Thank you, Alastor”, your sister responded, ignoring your frowning father who looked anything but amused.

   Alastor continued, “Quite an impressive young lady. We’re all very proud of her.” He wrapped his arm around her shoulder and Charlie gave him a genuine smile before he let go and turned towards you. “And her sister, Y/N, well…” He laid his red eyes on you with a genuine and almost loving smile and rested his hand on your shoulder, squeezing it slightly in an almost unnoticeable but reassuring manner. “She’s an extraordinary being. Introduced me to this very special place so we can give her sister all the support and assistance she needs.”

   You smiled at him, grateful that he followed your request to at least try to make things right.

   Your father growled and narrowed his eyes as he noticed the way Alastor looked at you, the demon’s hand on your shoulder triggering his already strained nerves. He snatched his head in the other direction to face your sister. “Charlie… Why don’t you introduce me to your other friends?”

   “Oh, yes, of course!” she called out and walked up to the other residents. “This is Vaggie. She’s my girlfriend!” She pulled Vaggie with her who shyly raised her hand in a reserved greeting gesture.

   Your father laughed and his mood immediately switched from annoyance to excitement. “Oh my golly! You like girls? So do I! We have so much in common!” He pulled Vaggie in a rushed embrace, letting her go as fast as he got close to her. “She’s beautiful!”

   You felt your heart sink in your chest at your father’s opposite reaction to your sister’s partner and a strike of anxiety hit you at the thought of telling him the truth about you and Alastor. It wasn’t only the fact you both were a couple that made you this insecure but the fact that you were even engaged to him.

   Alastor seemed to sense your inner tension and squeezed your shoulder again, now with more pressure and you were grateful for him that he hadn’t removed his hand yet. His closeness was exactly what you needed at this moment. You moved a bit closer to him, hoping that you both didn't appear too close in the other eyes, and breathed in his scent while your thoughts raced in your head. You reviewed the events again and realized that Alastor was right. You had little reason to be so angry (only) at him because your father didn’t really behave either from the first second. Hopefully you could somehow dismiss this conflict as a matter of miscommunication between them.

   You watched your sister introduce your father to the other residents which he seemed to get along with very well – contrary to your finacé who seemed to be the only one he immediately despised.

   You sighed and that’s when your father turned around to face the lobby. With a determined expression he raised his voice so everybody could hear him, “Well, it looks like I could give you some help. With a little bit of alakazam,” he wiggled his fingers, indicating a magic spell, “we could turn this place into something much more appealing! I mean, who needs a busboy now that you got the chef?” He faced Alastor with narrowed eyes and poked his elbow teasingly into Charlie’s side.

   You could feel Alastor’s grip on your shoulder tightening. His smile turned into a strained grin as he obviously thought about saying something. You begged that he kept his mouth shut to not reinforce their conflict… 

   “Well, Charlie…” your father continued before Alastor could even say something, “I’m not almighty but I could give you a lot. Almost anything, if you ask for it. You know, normally, I’d charge a lot for my help but since you’re my daughter and I love you with all my heart, it’s a matter of course I do it for free. Unlike that sketchy prick who probably has some devious intentions in his mind.” He raised his cane and pointed at Alastor.

   Charlie blinked a few times and pressed a nervous and drawled ‘Thank you…’ through her uncomfortable smile. It was obvious that she didn’t approve of your father’s comment but she also didn’t want to increase the drama by intervening.

   Alastor took his hand off your shoulder and leaned on his cane. “At least I’ve been here from the start,” he commented and eyed his claws with a hint of arrogance.

   You breathed in sharply but tried your best to keep your patience up as Alastor continued his monologue. “Let's not forget that I’ve always been faithful to you, Charlie. I support you, care for you and this hotel, and execute whatever you demand”, he exclaimed with such confidence that it was almost awkward listening to him.

   “That’s true,” your sister responded carefully with a grateful smile on her face and your father rolled his eyes. “You know, dad, Alastor does a lot for the hotel and its residents.”

   “No matter his capabilities, because sometimes, Charlie, there’s no substitute for pure angelic power, which – not to forget – also happens to be your blood!”

   “Dad…” Charlie sighed and you growled, the anger cooking inside of you.

   “Sadly, there are times a birth parent is a dud,” Alastor interfered again, his grin still as prominent as always but his eyes narrowed, darting invisible arrows at Lucifer. He straightens his back to appear even taller in comparison to your father, the arrogance undeniable in his expression. “Seems like the family you chose is better.”

   “You’re such a loser!” your dad spat out.

   “And yet here you are proving me right with every word you speak,” Alastor snatched back.

   “You know nothing, you prick!”

   “Well, unlike you, I don’t abandon my responsibilities!”

   “How do you dare question my commitment?”

   “At least I care for your daughters.”

   “Oh you tacky little piece of–!”

You jumped between them. “Shut the fuck up! Both of you!”

 you yelled as your anger burst through the walls you’ve tried to maintain hold of. Your voice cracked with the strain of suppressed fury and your appearance began to morph into a much more demonic form as pointy horns grew out of your head and your eyes turned a gleaming bloody red. “I’m sick of you bickering like children, you fucking attention whores! Is this how you get your kicks, by not being able to keep your mouths shut over such trivial nonsense? Do you even realize how goddamn irritating it is for the rest of us to be subjected to your constant squabbling? You know each other for ten minutes and already start pushing each other to the limits!”

   “Y/N–,” Alastor tried to interrupt you but you stretched out your arm, pushing him away from you.

   “No, Alastor, back the fuck off!” you scream, looking up in his red eyes and poking his chest angrily with your index finger. “Everytime I tell you to keep your shit together and make a good impression, you make things worse!”

   Your head snatches around and you now stare at your father with the same fury in your eyes. “And you, dad, stop your irresponsible nonsense and don’t taunt him as if he were a punching bag for your own insecurities!” Now you poke at your father’s chest, towering over him with floating hair and fire in your eyes. “Because Alastor’s right! Where have you been all the time? Instead of helping us and supporting Charlie in her project, you didn't even contact us! Especially not me! The last time I heard from you was over a year ago! And now you come here, finally ready to help your daughters, and the moment you arrive you start lashing out at my fiancé to deflect from your own mistakes because you can't stand the fact that he was there for us while you preferred to wallow yourself in your depression!”

   Silence fell over the room when you finished your rant, all eyes locked on you in shock and disbelief over your courage to attack the Radio Demon and the King of Hell himself in such a manner. Your heart raced, pumped your blood through your veins with such a pressure that you felt your whole body pulsating under your tension as relief washed over you.

   “Y–,” your dad tried to say, stuttering and completely overwhelmed by your confrontation and what you just revealed to him. “You–, Your… fiancé?” He ripped his eyes open, his mouth agape in disbelief.

   You breathed in heavily and closed your eyes for a brief moment, realizing what you just revealed, before you opened them again and responded to his question with a much calmer but also weak and tired voice, “Yes, dad. Alastor is my fiancé.”

   “What the fuck?” you could hear Angel exclaim in the background but ignored him.

   “Well…” your father hesitated. He struggled hard to find the right words and put his hand over his mouth, rubbing his skin like a stress ball. “Well, I’m… Wow…”

   Alastor approached you, his steps echoing from the high walls in the silent room and he put his hand on your shoulder. Feeling his touch through your blouse, caused a jolt of electricity to rush through your body. It erased the rest of your anger and your appearance returned to your normal form. Alastor’s presence calmed you down to an almost relaxed state. You felt the need to lean on him but resisted because everything that just happened was already enough – for you, for your father, your fiancé and all the other residents who were forced to witness this nerve-wrecking spectacle.

   You watched your father’s gaze roam over Alastor’s presence, from his head to his toes and from his toes back to his head.

   “I–, I don’t know what to say… Uh… I–... I’m speechless,” he stuttered, unable to look away from the man that stood next to you and encouraged you with a little but meaningful gesture and with who you wanted to spend the rest of eternity with. “I–, excuse me. I need some time to think.”

   Your father indicated to turn around and leave as your sister grabbed him by his arm, holding him back. “Would you like me to give you a tour around the hotel?” she asked him reassuringly in hope he would agree, what he then did.

   “Yes. Please.”

   Your sister gave you an encouraging look before she turned around and guided your father towards the stairs, Vaggie following right after to accompany them.

   Now, you and Alastor were alone with Angel Dust, Sir Pentious, Husk and Niffty. All of them stared at you, speechless. Especially Husk appeared a bit traumatized by your accidental announcement.

   “So… Mister fancy-talk-creepy-voice managed to slide into the royal family?” Angel asked you with interest but you raised your hand, interrupting him.

   “Stop it, Angel.”

   The spider demon pressed his lips together in a thin line and hummed.

   You turned towards Alastor. “Are you mad?” you asked him, afraid that you damaged his trust by revealing your biggest secret you had sworn to keep.

   Alastor leaned his head down sideways to look you in the eyes. His grin was replaced by a genuine smile as his red eyes surveyed your expression. “It’s alright, my dear.”

   He looked over to the other residents, walking a few steps closer to them and cocked his head in an unnatural and unnerving way. His antlers grew in size with pointy ends while his eyes changed to a black color with red, moving radio dials as irises. “If you dare say a single word about mine and Y/N’s relationship outside of the hotel, I will tear you apart and hang your guts as flags on the hotel roof so everybody will be able to see what happens if you dare gossip about the radio demon and his lady.”

*****

#alastor x reader #hazbin hotel x reader #alastor x y/n #alastor x you #alastor #alastor the radio demon #hazbin hotel oneshots #hazbin hotel alastor #radio demon #reader fic #hazbin hotel fanfiction #alastor imagine #hazbin hotel imagine #hazbin hotel x you #alastor fluff #alastor comfort #alastor has beef with lucifer #x reader #female reader #alastor vs lucifer #alastor oneshot #alastor fanfiction #hazbin hotel x y/n #lucifer hazbin hotel #morningstar reader

[frogchiro]

replaying the og mw2 campaign and i cant stop thinking about captain mactavish :(( i love him sm, could we get some of ur thoughts about him? <3

Captain Mactavish who is a nasty nasty man and has the biggest hots for Laswell's new and promising hacker, you. The cute soft thing dressed in soft pastel blouses and dresses has no place on a military base with dirty, rugged and rough military men who are twice her size, or at least that's what John thinks.

When he looks at you he can't help but fantasize of taking you away from here and back to Scotland. Stuff you away into a quiant little cottage where you'd become his cute little wife, greeting him with a smile and a hot, nutricious homecooked meal, then help him relax by giving him a blowjob. Yeah, Soap would treat you like a queen, his missus and mama of his kids :(

The thing is that there is a major pain in his ass, a thorn in his side you'd say and that thorn so happens to be blonde, obnoxious and american; Philip fucking Graves. Another tech-genius and the commander of Shadow Company, a PMC group that's supposed to aid them but the only thing their esteemed commander seems to be doing is showing off and trying to get in your pants >:( No! And the worst part? You seem to be actually impressed, smiling brightly up at Graves, laughing quietly at his obnoxious jokes and 'southern charm'. He's always praising you for a good job, which, admittedly, you're doing incredibly well.

Johnny knows that he needs to make his move quick but isn't all too worried; he's a captain, he's older, more experienced and incredibly well known in the military. He's big and strong and very virile so it should be basically instinct for you to choose him as the strongest male around >:(

#kin speaks #asks #interactions #hackergirl!reader #cpt mactavish having beef with anything that has a dick bc he's jealous is canon btw #especially graves #cod x reader #cod mw x reader #john soap mactavish x reader #soap mactavish x reader #captain mactavish x reader #john soap mactavish #captain soap mactavish

[beefrobeefcal]

the BEEF | #1: Joel Miller

Summary: no-outbreak AU, Joel has a headache and that headache wants his attention. [based on a prompt THOT up in collaboration with @strang3lov3]

Pairing: Joel Miller x F!Reader | Rating: Explicit 18+ (MDNI) | Word Count: 3,833

Content Warning: Smutty smutty smut smut, angry fools who want to play hide the sausage, angry joel, shovel violence against a truck, monster cock, age gap (joel is in his 50's, reader is younger), p in the v (unwrapped), rough dresser sex,

Author's Notes: welcome to the BEEF. Each P-boy has a thorn in their side that has to be dealt with. Thank you to @covetyou for inspiring the idea, and thank you @neverwheremoonchild, @strang3lov3, @rebel-held & @bitchesuntitled for their brains and eyes.

and thank you to every friendo in the Bistro - it's all for you, babies.

Joel Miller was your street’s cranky asshole. No one dared throw a party or hold a garage sale without letting him know first. No one dared let their grass get over a certain length and the whole neighbourhood breathed a sigh of relief when he would go out of a town and not see the kids scribble with chalk on the sidewalks in the summer. He never called the cops; no, instead he showed up and berated whoever was hosting an event or engaging in an activity he found offensive. And he was intimidating. He wasn’t the tallest, but he was built like a brick shithouse. You’d lived on the block for almost nine years, and in that time, Joel had gone from being a broad, sturdy single father to a single, empty nester who lived off HungryMan frozen meals. He was a big man with linebacker shoulders and a meaty chest stacked on top of a boulderous belly. His plaid button up shirts always looked like they were holding on for dear life to avoid his temper.

And you were utterly in love with him.

Before the most recent snowfall, you’d been in your room on your bed with the window open a crack to let in some fresh air. Right below your window was Joel’s front porch, and as soon as you heard his door fly open, you grabbed your vibrator and listened.

��Get off my lawn!”, you heard him bellow at who ever had dared to approach his house.

You smiled to yourself and turned on your purple silicon friend and shoved it in your underwear.

As Joel berated the hapless victim of his temper, you nudged yourself closer to the edge. As you did, you cared less about the volume of your cries and let your noises out at top volume. By the time you came, Joel was standing on his porch with his mouth agape, staring at your bedroom window and the offending party walked away with a look of disgust.

*****

Shit. Shit shit shit shit shit.

You watched as your snow shovel slipped out of your hands and hit your Joel’s truck. The one with the vanity plate ‘SM 9000’ that you had no clue what it meant. You could only sit back and watch as it fell and gouged in the paint job on Joel’s 1989 Dodge Ram pickup, your panties grew damp as you heard his front door open and slam against his house.

You turned around, raising your hands, trying to look like you were de-escalating the situation. “Joel, I-“

“The fuck’re you think you’re doin’?!”, he bellowed, stomping towards you.

As he yelled and flew into a tantrum over your shovel’s sins, you couldn’t help the stupid, lovesick half grin blooming on your face.

“… and you ain’t got no respect for no one’s property and…”, he stopped, took a breath, and looked you over, face twisting in a confused rage as he tried to figure out why you were looking at him as if he were a can of tuna and you were a cat watching him being pulled open ever so gently.

“The fuck is wrong with you?!”, he yelled, stepping forward, trying to scare you to no avail. He huffed and stomped his foot, trying to snap you out of whatever trance you were in.

You sighed and tilted your head, loving the attention he was finally bestowing on you, not caring that your reaction was essentially dumping gasoline on a house fire.

“Fuckin’ disrespectful shit…”, he snarled as he grabbed your arm and dragged you towards his house.

“Joel? What’re you doing? Where we going?”, you asked with a big dumb grin on your face then wincing at the harsh grip he had on your elbow. Your boots slipped and skidded on the icy walkway and you tripped heading up the stairs.

“Fuckin’ clumsy dumbass…”, he grumbled, shoving you through his front door and slamming it behind you both.

You looked around his entry way, noting the ugly wallpaper and the stale cigarette smell lingering. You crinkled your nose, and he turned around, his frown deepening into a scowl.

“Boots off!”, he barked, harshly motioning to your feet.

You didn’t miss a beat and toed them off quickly, kicking them into the wall. His jaw clenched as he watched the dirty snow clumps slide slowly down, leaving wet patches on his yellow-turned-brown floral wallpaper.

His eyes snapped up to yours, expecting an apologetic look. Instead, he was met with…

“Why the fuck you lookin’ at me like a love sick puppy?”

Joel was enraged. You didn’t run away or beg for forgiveness. No. You stood in his entry way, kicking your boots and making a mess, looking like he was David Cassidy or Patrick Swayze. You smiled back softly and that was the last straw for him.

“WHAT IN THE FRESH HELL IS WRONG WITH YOU?!”

You could have cum right there. Joel Miller was yelling right in your face. You’d gotten off by listening to him lose his shit at anyone trying to fundraiser or collect donations who had dared knock on his door but having a front row seat to a live performance was better than you could have ever imagined.

Joel watched your lips part and your brows twitch as they furrowed and your head tilt back slightly. He heard your breath hitch between his furious growling breaths, and his eyes slid down your parka-clad frame and he swore he saw your thighs clench.

His eyes went wide as he realized the effect he was having on you.

“You fuckin’ dirty little shit…”

The whimper he received in response made his cock twitch in his WalMart Levi’s. He sucked in a harsh breath and swallowed hard. He hadn’t had a woman look at him like that since he went to the strip club with his brother for his bachelor party, and he knew she was looking for a hefty tip. But you – the only thing he could think of is that you were trying to find a way to get out of paying for the damage your shovel caused. There was no waythat you were actually interested in him in that way. No. No woman had wanted to fuck him since before his daughter, Sarah, had been in junior high. He was a fat old asshole and you… you weren’t.

“Joel…”

Your soft voice pulled him back and the frown he carried all but left his face, being replaced with eyebrows to his hairline and his mouth open in confusion and shock.

“Joel, I… I’m sorry about your truck.”

You grabbed the zipper to your parka and pulled down, opening it to reveal your great aunt’s knitted sweater with a loon on it. Joel’s widened eyes swept over you and his brows furrowed.

“The hell you up to?”, he croaked, trying to sound intimidating.

“It’s warm in here”, you respond, tossing your parka on to, but missing completely, the stair banister.

His mind was racing. You actually seemed to be coming on to him as you stepped closer in your mismatched socks. You looked up at him through your lashes while your hands slowly slid up your legging-clad thighs and up to the hem of your sweater. He watched as you pulled it over your head slowly, getting it stuck for a moment, revealing a worn out white t-shirt with a faded image of a marshmallow peep and the slogan ‘Holla At My Peeps!’. He took another step back and you tossed your sweater at him, and he stumbled back, falling onto his recliner.

“Jesus, woman!”, he hollered, ripping your sweater off his head just in time to see you standing above him.

“You know how hot you are?”, you asked, leaning forward over him.

He froze. He must be dead. Or asleep. Or maybe he slipped when he stormed out the door to yell at you and hit his head. Or maybe he was drunk. Maybe he took a NyQuil tablet instead of the Omega 3-6-9 fish oil pills.

“The hell is wrong with you?”, he sputtered out, looking at you wide-eyed.

You didn’t answer. You only leaned forward, nudging your nose against his and letting out a breathy giggle. He tried to speak again, but his words got lost in the high pitch grunt he let out when your knee came up and nestled in between his thighs, pushing against the considerable bulge that had developed.

His hand involuntarily gripped your wrist that was supported on his arm rest, and he sucked in a deep breath.

“I know exactly what you need, Joel Miller.”, you cooed, tongue jutting out and licking your teeth, trying to sound seductive. “You need a good fuck.”

His mouth hung open in shock. You grinned wildly and kissed the tip of his nose before nipping at his bottom lip and tugging it between your teeth.

Joel let out a groan and closed his eyes, the hand on your wrist moving to your t-shirt’s hem and slipped underneath it. You nudged your knee against his crotch again and kissed him, tasting no-name waffles and burnt coffee.

The kiss seemed to break something in Joel. This wasn’t a dream, or an antihistamine induced hallucination or a concussion - this was real. You, his hot, young, stupid neighbour was crawling onto his lap and shoving your tongue down his throat.

He grunted lowly and pushed you back, looking up at you with dark eyes. You tried moving forward again, but his hand held you back.

A whine emanated from your throat, and he shook his head. “I’m not fucking you-“

You scoffed and he shushed you.

“Oh, hush and lemme finish, you loony shit!”, he huffed. “I was sayin’ that I'm not gonna fuck you in this chair; it barely holds my weight and if you’re gonna be bouncin’ on me, this fuckin’ thing’ll screw the pooch.”

You shrugged your shoulders, irritated. “Okay, fine. Then where?”

“My bed, you nimrod!”, he snapped with a scowl, then grinned. “Got a nice mattress with good lumbar support.”

*****

You had followed Joel to his room and were pleasantly… let down. You weren’t sure what you were expecting, but the beige walls and the picture of a horse above his non-exciting bed were not what you had thought he would have. What surprised you was the essential oil diffuser plugged in on his bedside table, giving the air a fresh lavender smell.

The fact that the rest of his house looked like a rejected concept for an early nineties sitcom and his bedroom looked like a bed and breakfast that had no theme, for some reason, made you want him more. This man and his lack of consistency. You needed him in you now.

Grabbing his arm and turning him around, you pulled him into a desperate kiss; teeth and tongues, fighting for real estate in each other’s mouths.

“Get naked, sugar.”, he grunted as he broke the kiss with a lopsided grin. He unsnapped his shirt, revealing a grey, stained undershirt, its ribbing pulled tight and stretched over his belly while his mouth and surrounding patchy facial hair glistened with your saliva.

While he wasn’t being that polite, he wasn’t being mean. That was a problem. Even with how mundane he’d revealed himself to be, it wasn’t enough. The residual dampness that made your panties stick to your core was a result of him yelling at you out front, and that goodwill your pussy had shown was slowly drying up.

Joel’s hands began to make quick work of his belt and stretch denim jeans, but he noticed you not moving to do the same.

His hand flapped at you in an urging motion, “Make with the no clothes. Can’t fuck you with them on.”

His eyes narrowed as he noted your lack of movement, and he paused. You began to see signs that Joel was getting mad, and your mind flipped through every situation you’d witnessed him lose his shit in.  What was it that would set him off quick? You weren’t about to throw a block party in his room, nor were you a religious group knocking at his door early on a Saturday. Then it clicked.

A devious grin broke out slowly on your face as you sat on his Temperpedic mattress and crossed your arms.

“Make me.”

“You indignant little shit…”, he growled, clenching his fist.

A flutter in your lower belly. More.

“Come on. Make me.”

“You fuckin’ tease… Fuck you!” His eyes were filling with fire.

An almost painful need bloomed in your core. More!

“Fuck me yourself, coward.”

He sputtered and guffawed, eyes wide in rage.

“You fuckin’ shit! Bangin’ up my truck and actin’ like a needy Jezabel just to fuckin’ tease me like this!”

You could have cum right there, between the iron grip on your wrist and his loud belittling.

You couldn’t stop the giggle that erupted, and he snarled. He grabbed your hand and yanked you up off the bed. You truly thought his back was bad enough that the effort of getting you up alone would be too much, but he shoved you against his dresser, then slamming his weight into your back. You whined, feeling your pussy clenching on nothing.

“You’re such a shit!”, he grunted, grabbing your elasticized waistband, and yanking your leggings and panties down on one side while your hand went to the other; the two of you awkwardly working towards removing your barrier.

When they were low enough on your legs to step out of, you clumsily did so, then tried to turn around to help Joel. He wasn’t fast enough, swearing under his breath as your hands lifted his belly to access his strained button fly. His mouth was on your neck, sucking and biting like a dog on a window while a steak was being grilled just on the other side.

You pushed his jeans down around his hips and they pooled around his ankles. He kicked them off and bit down on the crux of your neck and shoulder as your hand cupped and felt up his hard cock.

Jesus. Oh fuck.

Joel was hung. Like unreasonably so. You’d had your fair share of men slamming their pork steeples into your wet cunt, but none of them could even hold a candle to the monstrosity that sat heavy and covered in satin in your hand. You planted your hand on his chest and pushed him back, needing to get a peek at what Joel was packing. You immediately looked down, seeing the Wile E. Coyote faux-satin boxers protruding out in an impressive, and frankly intimidating, bulge.

“Oh shit...”, you breathed out, contemplating on whether you truly needed to do any serious sitting for the next week, or if you could maybe just get away with laying down at work.

His hand snapped to your jaw, forcing you to look him in the eye, and he gave you a dark smile, “Showed up to a gun fight with a knife, sugar?”

You didn’t have time to respond because Joel shoved his hand between your legs and harshly began rubbing your clit.

Your eyes fluttered and rolled back. Joel watched, an approving sneer on his face.

“’S fucked up … you like this?”

“uh…. Uh-huh…”

“You’re a lunatic…”

You smiled lazily. “You’re fingering a lunatic… w-what’s that say about you?”

He paused then huffed out, “That I’m fingering a lunatic, you moron.”

You let out a throaty laugh that bleeds into a moan as Joel shoves two thick fingers into your hole, slowly dragging them out before plunging them back in.

“You’re a sick little shit… you seducin’ and teasin’ an old man, an’gettin’ me all wound up… Neighbourhood headache… that’s you. Fuckin’ shit up and walkin’ away with a smile on her dumb face.”

“’M close… don’t…. don’t stop…”

His fingers kept the slow languid pace going as he leaned in and harshly whispered, “Unlike you, sugar, I don’t like to leave people disappointed.”

His eyes never left you, watching your every move. Every involuntary twitch and shudder, every flutter of your eyelids and breath leave your parted lips. He could feel it around his fingers and see it on your face that you were feeling everything intensely and now that he had you like this, he wasn’t going to let you go without making sure you weren’t going to pull this shit again.

Joel was many things, but a man who could let things go was not one of them. He was tired of hearing you cream and cry on whatever silicon thing you were shoving into yourself through your bedroom window as he lost his shit on someone; tired of seeing you make eyes at him while you sat in your front yard as he grumbled at a neighbour for the state of their lawn. He was still furious at you for once letting your hand - your soft, sweet, tender hand - linger on his when handing him his mail that was accidentally delivered to your home, forcing him to sit in his shitty recliner and try to finish with his calloused, rough, and hard hand. He never came.

You were going to pay for that. He’d promised himself that for almost five years and now here you were, on your way to being a muppet with how his hand played in your pussy. Joel’s time had come.

You came, moaning, on his hand as he watched, his fingers still moving in and out of you, and his thumb took up the task of tending to your twitching clit. Your face twisted and you cried out, trying to push his hand away.

Your tongue felt thick in your mouth and a moan seeped out. As you rode the wave, he yanked his hand out and grabbed your arm, throwing you onto the bed.

“Goddammit, you’re such a pretty shit.”, he grumbled, reaching for your ankle, and tugging your ass to the edge of the bed. You tried sitting up on your elbows, but he shoved you back down with his body weight.

His weight. Good god, he felt heavier and better than you ever thought he could as he pressed you down into the mattress.

But he got up off you, trying to wrangle your ankles and pull your exposed pussy to just the right spot to save his back from being strained. You tried sitting up again, wanting to have some sort of control over the situation, but Joel growled and grabbed your hips, and, in an impressive feat, flipped you onto your front all while grumbling about what a pain in the ass you were.

“Can’t even fuckin’ be considerate enough to stay put…”

You heard him spit then grunt, figuring he was priming that fucking meat wagon between his legs, and you let out an impatient huff.

“Knock that shit off!”, he snapped, flicking you on your ass cheek. “You just came, nimrod. You can fuckin’ wait!”

“Yeah… but I wanna cum again!”, you whined out with a smile, trying to not laugh at how irritated he was with you.

“I bet you do… but you’re on my time, and I am a patient man, sugar.”, he crooned lowly, snaking his hand up your back and to your hip. You squirmed a bit, but his hold kept you planted in place, and his other hand held his cock as he nudged it against your opening.

The smile on your face dropped as his huge member pushed in; your mouth opened, and out came a gasp followed by a choked moan.

“That’s it… Jesus Murphy…  not even fuckin’ your throat and I got you to shut your mouth…”

Yes, you knew Joel was huge. But it was just an abstract concept up until that moment. Now that he was shoving his massive dick into you, you felt like the universe’s mysteries were now clearly laid out. You knew what religion was right, who shot JFK, how they made the moon landing look real…

Nothing in life would ever surprise you again because you were being split open by this grumpy, fat man. You were being ruined by Joel Miller.

He grunted as he pulled back and then slammed into you.

“Tight little snatch, sugar… takin’ me like a champ.”

You couldn’t respond. Your brain had melted and left your skull empty, and you were unable to do anything but breathe loudly and moan, “S’too big… too big…”

Joel snickered and grunted, snapping his hips and shoving himself deep. You wriggled and squirmed, simultaneously needing him stop and to fuck you harder. Your head began to feel faint, and your core squeezed him, forcing a groan out of him.

He began to snap his hips faster, panting and grunting like the fat kid in gym class being forced to run a mile. You whined and squirmed, trying to get your knees under your body to be able to push back against him, to get him deeper, but he grabbed your calf and bit your leg right above your sock with a growl then groaned, “Stay… stay put… don’t move… jus’lemme… lemme finish…”

You let out a yelp than melted into a moan, throwing yourself into another orgasm. Joel’s thrusts became hurried and more erratic. The high-pitched whine that ripped out of Joel sounded like a dog begging for table scraps as he shot his load into you.

He collapsed onto your back, both of you panting. After what felt like hours but in reality, was only about 30 seconds, Joel had gone quiet. You nudged him, hoping to god he didn’t die from a pussy-induced heart attack. He grunted and struggled to push himself up off you, then flopped on the bed next to you. You rolled over onto your back and looked at him. His cheeks were flushed, and his brows furrowed; his wispy salt and pepper hair stuck to his forehead and his eyes were closed. He was still breathing heavily through his mouth. You smiled, feeling a fulfillment you hadn’t since you’d convinced your parents that it was your sister who broke the CD-ROM drive in the family computer even though it was really you. Cuddling into his, your fingers drew heart shapes in his sweat coated chest hair.

Now that he’d fucked you, you wanted to clear the air as it were, and make sure he wasn’t going to make you pay for any damage to his truck. “So…”

Joel grunted in response, one eye opening and looking at you.

“I was just wondering… what’s your licence plate mean?”

He sighed and closed his eye again. He said the meaning quietly and at first you weren’t sure you heard him right.

“What?”

His cheeks flushed a little harder and he rubbed his eyes and pinched the bridge of his nose, letting out a huff.

“ShagMaster 9000.”

TAGLIST: @theywhowriteandknowthings @toxicanonymity @harriedandharassed @neverwheremoonchild @rebel-held @beee-haw @nevergoingbacknowshine @idolatrybarbie @v4vayha @lalocitos @xdaddysprincessxx @deathsholywaterr @heareball @lyssramscal @wintrwinchestr @nerdieforpedro  @southernbe @starkeydaviss @noxturnalpascal @not-a-unique-snowflake-blog@vabeachazn @clawdee @iamasaddie @jennaispunk @tightjeansjavi @rubyfruitjungle @lilmizmoz @strang3lov3 @pedroshotwifey @harryleatherfit @bitchesuntitled

#pedro pascal #pedro pascal characters #pedro pascal fanfiction #chubby!joel miller #chubby!joel #joel miller x you #joel miller smut #joel miller fanfiction #joel miller x reader #chubby joe #chubby pedro rights !!! #chubby pedro pascal #fat belly #pedro pascal tummy nation #beefro's bistro #beefro is sweating #you asked beefro answered #🥩 #the BEEF

[yaksha-lover]

lol this is so dumb and self-indulgent but short drabble of waking up beside malleus and leona and their bickering hehe

cw: very mild suggestive, implied throuple(?)

The first thought you have is how muggy it is. There’s a humidity to the warmth that envelops you that’s quickly becoming less than pleasant.

You try to move, but your limbs are held in place by strong sinew. Even relaxed, the muscles of the arms wrapped around your waist are impressive in their strength. Leona’s training certainly wasn’t for show.

Not to be outdone, Malleus’ own arms envelop your shoulders, inviting your head to lay on his chest.

You nudge gently at the two of them, rousing Malleus and a grouchy Leona from sleep. The latter grumbles for you to leave him be.

“It’s too hot,” you groan.

“Hmm, you didn’t think so last night,” Leona smirks at you. He leans in to run a quick, affectionate stripe up your neck with his tongue. “Ugh, you smell of lizard. The taste is all swampy.” His face contorts in disgust.

You don’t see Malleus roll his eyes, but you’re sure that’s what’s happening on the opposite side of the bed.

“How interesting. I was just about to remark that it smells of wet cat.”

The two glower at each other. You’re forced to sit up and shield them from each other’s view so they don’t start wrecking your furniture in their spat.

“Can we please save the fighting for after breakfast? I’m too hungry to deal with this right now.”

“Who said anything about fighting, my love? It’s only some gentle banter between…classmates.”

“Classmates? You’re literally sharing a bed right now.”

“Don’t say it like that,” Leona makes a face. “I’m sharing a bed with you, herbivore. Unfortunately, he happens to be here too.”

“For once, we are in agreement, Kingscholar.”

“Hey, don’t lump yourself in with me. We got nothing in common.”

“Except for me.”

Leona rolls his eyes. “Except for you,” he concedes.

“And being non-human, rich, royal princes who lack emotional support from their families and are often misunderstood as being-”

“Yeah, yeah. Keep talking and we’ll miss breakfast.”

Leona and Malleus both stand to get properly dressed, but you remain in bed, content to watch them.

You’re still a bit drowsy from sleep. You pop your eyes closed, hoping a few more seconds will make you feel less tired. “Will someone help me up?”

When you finally open your eyes, you’re greeted with two hands offering themselves to you; one on each side. Seeing this, Leona and Malleus glare at the other, but you take each of their hands in one of yours, and that seems to placate them enough to not argue as you walk.

#help #why did i write this #i never get tired of writing leona beefing with everyone #twst x reader #malleus x reader #leona x reader #malleus draconia x reader #leona kingscholar x reader #malleus draconia #leona kingscholar #twst #twisted wonderland

[stvrchaser]

𝐩𝐫𝐨𝐦𝐢𝐬𝐞𝐬

( pairing ) : clarisse la rue x fem!reader

( words ) : 2000

( note ) : noticed that clarisse has her nails painted in the show and… well this came out of that. reader is heavily aphrodite coded but i don’t think it’s explicitly mentioned anywhere what cabin she’s actually from? only that she’s not from apollo’s and she’s on clarisse’s side for capture the flag

also don’t we just love that every fic i’ve ever published is literally 80% pining? honestly can’t tell you the last time one of my fics didn’t have a scene that goes on for like three paragraphs about how much admiration reader has for their love interest

oh and happy new year!!

Summer days can last for a lifetime and a fulfilling one at that. There’s so much to be done when the world wakes, engulfed in light and warmth, nurturing possibility. There’s so much to look forward to. But today, that anticipation has chosen to work against you.

The sun is setting now, approaching dinnertime, and Clarisse is nowhere to be found. For all of her spontaneity and occasional recklessness, it’s unlike her to abandon routines. That is, routines she shares with you. And walking to dinner together happens to be one of your longest-running practices.

You tried to ask around, careful not to sound too concerned so as not to spark rumors. See, Clarisse La Rue has never been publicly caught in a state that warrants concern. Clarisse La Rue is untouched by the fears that plague the rest of them. But you know better.

It isn’t until you come across a few Ares kids, very obviously overworked and looking nearly faint with exhaustion, that you come to your senses. It isn’t infrequent that Cabin 5 becomes victim to one of Clarisse’s drills, training until fatigue overpowers their fear of her authority. As predicted, you find her in a clear patch of the forest overlooking the strawberry fields. Some days she likes to train here, away from watchful eyes.

The setting sun casts her in golden light, bronze armor glistening alongside golden skin. Clarisse liked to train in full gear — a fruitful habit to get herself accustomed to the added weight of leather and metal. It allows her to move with ease, swinging her spear with grace despite the strength of her whole body being evident in every step. With her head held high, spear raised, and the incredible speed at which she moves, she doesn’t look even the slightest bit mortal, but rather a god amongst men. A warrior and hunter. She is the perfect picture of divinity if you’ve ever seen it.

You let your feet drag against the dirt, a fallen branch snapping beneath your weight. It informs Clarisse of your presence from a safe distance, although the remnants of her focused state aren’t any less intimidating. Her eyes burn bright like the electricity that charges the tip of her spear.

“I’ve been looking everywhere for you.” Clarisse realizes her error with a glance at the horizon where the sun is setting and you smile warmly, dismissing any indication of displeasure. You watch her demeanor change, the rigidity in her posture fading with an apologetic tip of her head. 

“I’ve been training. Those idiots would know that if they’d stuck around to join me.” Something tells you that that isn’t entirely true. Anyone could assume that she’d been training, but the matter of where was an entirely different question. As far as you know, this particular spot is something only the two of you are familiar with — a small refuge away from everyone else.  

“Well, we don’t all have your… passion for these things.”

“You think I’m ridiculous,” she says with a sigh. 

“Babe, you’re training for capture the flag. Not war.” Clarisse only shakes her head, knowing there’s no point in arguing. She thinks this is something the two of you might never see eye-to-eye on. While you like your fair bit of competition, Clarisse takes every victory with great significance. As she does with every loss.

“Here, I’ll help you,” you say, approaching to tuck a stray curl behind her ears. Your touch lingers at her cheeks, flushed from physical exertion and maybe something more by the way her gaze settles on your lips. Every intake of breath is louder now that you stand toe to toe and the adrenaline has started to wear off. She’s too worked up to have done this all for a game of capture the flag. “I hope you’re not doing all this to get back at Percy.” Her eyes still linger on your mouth and you think she might’ve not heard you until her brows furrow in confusion.

“Since when are you on a first-name basis?”

“Oh, come on,” you say with a disapproving shake of your head. “He’s just a kid.” You reach for the leather chord at the edge of her breastplate, undoing the knot with ease.

“He’s full of it.” She refuses to look at you now, her head turned upward as if she’d developed a sudden interest in trees. You can’t tell if she’s trying to maintain her composure to keep herself from saying something she’ll regret or if your gaze and proximity was distracting her from the discussion. Maybe a bit of both.

“He’s a baby. You could body-slam him into next Friday. It’s hardly a fair fight.” You untie the last knot keeping her breastplate in place, tugging upward to slip it over her head. Clarisse doesn’t even seem to realize that you’d freed her of her armor until the weight vanished from her body.

She looks at you then with an expression you can’t quite read. Something warm, like gratitude, but reluctant. When she speaks, it’s unexpectedly solemn.

“Do you really believe he killed The Minotaur? Him? Gods, everyone here trains themselves to death for that kind of stuff and he gets all the glory? He doesn’t even know how to shoot.” Now that you’ve been made aware of the gravity of the situation, it’s suddenly harder to find your words. This isn’t the petty rivalry you’d assumed it was, and you had to handle it as such.

“Well, I’m sure a few things have been exaggerated here and there, but that’s not his fault. People love to talk about him, but nobody’s really talking to him. I don’t think he’s had a say in anything that’s been said about him. You know how rumors spread around here.”

“But he’s—”

“Look,” you start, taking her hands into yours. “I’m not asking you to make him friendship bracelets. Just… try not to drown him in the lake, okay?”

You know the exact moment an idea hits her by the mischievous glimmer in her eye. It takes a lot of strength not to bury your face in your hands, afraid that you’ve now planted an idea that would get the poor boy killed. Or worse.

“Clarisse, please.” She surrenders, albeit reluctantly. 

“Fine,” she says. Still, you’re not entirely convinced.

“Good. Now say it.”

“What?”

“Say you won’t drown him in the lake.” Clarisse laughs, but it dies down when she realizes you don’t plan to join her.

“You’re kidding.”

“I’m really not.”

“I swear not to drown Percy Jackson in the lake,” she agrees through gritted teeth. You don’t say anything about the way her hands tighten around yours as if it physically pained her to say the words.

“See? That wasn’t so hard,” you tell her, ignoring that it did, in fact, seem hard. “Now, what are we gonna do with those nails?” Clarisse stares blankly at your joined hands. Chipped black nail polish alongside your perfectly pristine, perfectly preserved set of nails.

“Why do we need to do anything about my nails?”

“Honey, I painted these like two days ago. What do you even do to get them chipped like this? I mean, are you fighting with the back of your hand? I don’t understand.”

“I have to train, you know?” she says, like it’s meant to explain anything. You know better than to ask her to elaborate.

“Shame. You have very pretty nail beds. You should spend less time fighting puppy dog-eyed middle schoolers so you can actually keep them pretty.”

“You think I have pretty nail beds?” You shrug.

“Among other things.”

“Well, tell me about these other things.”

“Hm, and people think I’m vain.”

“Come on. What other things?”

You take a moment to look at her — to really look at her. To dissect every inch of her face and the features that create the picture of beauty you know and love. There are far too many pretty things to point out, but you find yourself drawn to one in particular.

“You have the prettiest eyes I’ve ever seen.”

“Well, thank you.”

“Shut up. I’m not finished.”

“Of course. Don’t let me stop you.”

“And you have the most gorgeous smile.” Clarisse beams with pride. “Yeah, that one. And it doesn’t even matter if it looks like you’re just about ready to tear someone’s throat out with your teeth. I just like to see you happy. I like hearing you laugh even better.”

And laugh she does. Low but sweet, like honey. She looks like the teenage girl she is, deeply infatuated and with a capacity for love she has only ever shared with you. 

You indulge in the temporary amusement it brings you to think of how horrified Clarisse might be if anyone else were around to hear her giggle. Clarisse La Rue, Daughter of Ares, infamous for waging war on whichever unfortunate soul so much as breathes in her direction — producing a laugh so gentle and beautiful it could give Orpheus and his songs a run for his money. And you might be the happiest girl alive to have been the cause of it.

“You’re sure you’re not Apollo’s kid?”

“Are you calling me a talented poet?”

“I’m calling you a sap,” Clarisse insists with a sour expression, but her voice is saturated with mirth, eyes too bright, and you know she isn’t entirely opposed to your antics. 

“I think the term you’re looking for is romantic.”

“Yeah, right.” She rolls her eyes.

“I know I’m right, but thank you for the confirmation.”

“I know the nail polish fumes are getting to your head,” she mocks. You feign defeat, retreating with an exaggerated sigh.

“Maybe.” Two steps to your left and you’re concealed by a tree, its trunk twice as wide as either of you. You peak your head, locking eyes with Clarisse. “Or all that training is slowing you down. Honestly! If you’re gonna try to insult me, at least try to come up with something original.”

“Oh, you think I’m slow?” Clarisse asks, every word a thinly veiled threat — a challenge, and one you’re willing to accept.

“Unless you want to prove me wrong.” Clarisse lunges at you without warning, almost too fast, but you’re able to gather your senses. The tree had bought you just enough time to keep her whole body from slamming into yours, the force of it undoubtedly capable of launching you both to the ground. 

You dash through the woods as fast as your legs can carry you, your only advantage being that Clarisse must have tired herself out from training. But you know she’s hot on your trail.

From here, you can see the bonfire, flames burning high. You turn, prepared to declare that your victory is just seconds away. You’re tackled to the floor before a word can leave your mouth. 

“Oh, come on! That’s not fair, I was distracted!”

“Distracted by what?” Clarisse laughs hysterically although taking a much more graceful tumble to the floor than you had. She’s covered in fallen leaves and her jeans are brown at the knees where the denim fades.

“The pretty girl chasing me.” Clarisse is beside herself with joy, clutching at her stomach and close to tears, and it takes her a minute to calm herself. When the two of you have settled, she speaks again. Or tries to, that is.

“Oh, you are so—“ You place a kiss on her lips, short and sweet, but enough to leave her speechless. Clarisse turns a violent shade of red and you think she might need another minute to calm herself. You take that time to revel in your victory.

You stand, offering your hand to help her up. 

“Come on, let’s get dinner and you can rest for the game tomorrow. If you’re gonna lead us to victory, you’re gonna need your strength, captain.” She smiles, intertwining her hand with yours.

“You’re gonna be there? Right beside me?”

“La Rue, you’re crazy if you think there’s even a chance I’d ever leave your side.”

•°. *࿐

reader: pls don’t drown percy in the lake

clarisse: ok fine

clarisse: *tries to drown percy*

reader: what did i say about drowning people??

clarisse: …

clarisse: you never said the toilets were off-limits 

also i'm like brand new to the pjo fandom but i’ve been kindly informed of clarisse x silena (and their tragic ending but i turn a blind eye to that so i can preserve my sanity) but when i get there you WILL need to physically restrain me from writing fics about them

#clarisse la rue #clarisse la rue x reader #pjotv x reader #pjo tv adaptation #pjo tv series #clarisse la rue fluff #pining #but they’re already dating #they’re just horrendously down bad for each other and it’s kind of embarrassing #x reader #healthy bit of banter #and trying to convince clarisse to let percy live to see another day #breaking news: summer camp gets awkward when ur gf has beef w the middle schooler #you can’t say she didn’t try to help him ok

[dirtyvulture]

The Inspection

Natasha Romanoff x Beefy!Sergeant!Reader

18+ only read at your own risk

Summary: It’s time for your first uniform inspection, and of course Natasha will not make it easy for you.

Word count: 2210

AN: Reader has a penis, no pronouns used.

This is Part 2 in my Sergeant Beef series. Read Part 1 here.

“Where have you been?” Sam Wilson asks, almost knocking you down as he rushes down the hall. 

“Uh, just…Sergeant Romanoff wanted to see me,” you answer, tugging down the front of your shirt and making sure the button placket of your shirt lines up with your belt buckle and zipper.

“You spend a lot of time in her office,” Sam notes, narrowing his eyes at you. You shrug helplessly. “Well, whatever, just make sure you’re not late for inspection.”

You check your watch panickedly. You still have ten minutes, but you don’t have time to go back to your bunker and freshen up. Instead, you stop off at the bathroom, splashing your face with water and wiping off the brass name tag on your chest. You button the wrists of your sleeves, trying not to move too fast because of how tightly your biceps stretch out the fabric, but you prefer a tighter uniform because of how much bigger it makes you look. Making sure that all the creases in your uniform look extra crisp and lined up, you’re ready to head out when you suddenly double over like you’ve been punched in the stomach by an invisible man.

“Oh God,” you gasp, reaching for your belt and hastily undoing it. You pull down your pants, not even thinking about how you’re ruining the creases, and hear a low buzzing sound emanating from your boxers.

“You are not going to touch this or take this off until I say so. Do you understand?” Natasha says, pulling your cock through a tight silicone ring until it sits snugly at the base of your shaft. 

“Yes, ma’am,” you whimper, your eyes glued to her hands as they gently put your cock back in your underwear and zip your pants up. Natasha holds up a remote control.

“If you do well in your inspection today, I won’t keep it on for too long,” she says, and you gulp. “But no promises.”

“Y-Yes, ma’am,” you respond, standing on trembling legs. The cock ring isn’t even on yet and your head is already spinning at the thought of being completely at your staff sergeant’s mercy. 

“Good. Now get the hell out of my office.”

You feel the cock ring vibrating around you, strongly enough to make your dick swell to attention. The sensations practically take your breath away and you see a spot of wetness on your boxers already. 

How in the world are you going to get through an entire uniform inspection with this on?

You back into a stall to sit down on the toilet, barely able to stay standing, when the cock ring suddenly turns off and you breathe a huge sigh of relief. Natasha must be somewhere close by, unless the ring has unlimited range, which you don’t doubt. You pull your pants back up, doing your best to rub out the new wrinkles on your thighs, but not having the capacity to care for long. You don’t want to be late to the inspection.

You practically run down the hall to the classroom where the inspection is being held, finding many of your colleagues already waiting there.

“Where did you go off to now?” Sam asks, coming over to you. “And why are you so sweaty?”

“I…I…just don’t feel too well,” you say, which isn’t a complete lie.

“You better go lie down after this,” he responds. “Tell Sergeant Romanoff to leave you alone for five minutes,” he adds with a chuckle, but you’re not laughing. While your cock ring is off for now, you already have a feeling Natasha is going to turn it on at the worst time imaginable.

Everyone lines up and stands at attention just in time for the brass to stroll in with heavy footsteps: Captain Rogers, Staff Sergeant Romanoff, Commander Hill, and General Fury. They break up and start going after individuals, nitpicking the tiniest specks of dirt or invisible wrinkles on their uniforms. 

You stare straight ahead as General Fury approaches Sam, clenching your jaw as the general tears your friend a new one, knowing that you’re about to be next as he goes down the line. 

“Sergeant Y/N!” General Fury barks. “What are you smiling at?”

The color drains from your face. “Sir, I’m not smiling, sir!” you shout, continuing to look straight ahead.

“You think it’s funny that Wilson has dandruff that’s flaking all over his uniform?” General Fury asks.

“Sir, no, sir!”

“You better start sharing your shampoo with him, or he’s going to have a greater snowfall than the Swiss Alps!”

“Sir, yes, sir!” You think your jaw is going to crack from not laughing, but you hold it back. General Fury moves down the line and you relax, having been spared from his intense scrutiny. Suddenly, the vibrating in your pants starts again and you squeeze your legs together, trying to subtly move your cock into a position where the ring isn’t affecting it so much, but it’s a waste of effort. 

“Sergeant Y/N!” Natasha shouts, the top of her head barely coming into your field of view because she’s shorter than you. You stare over her, clenching your fists tighter by your sides. Blood rushes down between your legs at the constant stimulation and you try not to let your panicked breathing show.

“What’s wrong with your pants, Sergeant?” Natasha asks, and for a moment you wonder if she’s asking about what’s inside of them rather than what’s on the outside.

“My p-pants, ma’am?” you respond, your voice cracking when the vibrating intensifies. You’re at full hardness in seconds and your cock pokes uncomfortably against the back of your zipper, threatening to split it open. Natasha steps closer to you and you can feel her breath on your neck. 

“You look like a slob,” Natasha says. “You’re setting a very poor example for your trainees, Sergeant.”

You don’t know if you should apologize or just keep your mouth shut. Sweat pops on your forehead as arousal builds in your stomach that you can do nothing to relieve. Your cock is aching for release so badly it hurts. 

You feel Natasha touch the pant wrinkles on your thighs, and then her hand brushes across your bulge on purpose and you almost explode right there. 

“Sergeant,” you choke, trying to consider your next words carefully, but the task is much more difficult at hand when you can’t focus on anything but the sensation of the cock ring. “Please, I–”

“What?” Natasha snaps. 

You swallow, noticing that your legs are shaking. “I’m sorry for setting a poor example, Sergeant!” 

“I’m not looking for an apology,” Natasha says. “I want to see you back in my office after this.” You go light-headed at the thought. Maybe she’ll have mercy on you, or she might be more ruthless than ever. “Tsk, tsk, Sergeant. Very embarrassing to fail your first uniform inspection. This is not going to look good on your record.”

“I’m sorry, Sergeant!” you squeak, but Natasha is already walking away. 

She doesn’t turn the cock ring off, but leaves it on at a lower setting, just enough to keep you throbbing and aching. 

“Why do you look like you’re going to pass out, Sergeant?” Commander Hill asks, attacking you next.

“I…I…” you respond weakly, not sure what to say.

“Stop locking your legs.” Commander Hill nudges your boot with hers, scuffing the toe, and you bend your knees exaggeratedly, trying to relieve the pressure in your groin. She offers you no other criticism and moves on. 

You can barely listen to Captain Rogers giving the entire room a verbal lashing on the importance of grooming and appearance, feeling like you are truly on the verge of passing out. You wonder if Sam or anyone else in your vicinity can hear the buzzing of your cock ring, but the layers of your boxers and pants muffle the sound. When Captain Rogers finally dismisses the group, you’re practically pushing people out of the way as you run towards Natasha’s office. As desperate as you are, you still take the time to knock and wait for her to let you in.

“Get in here, Sergeant Y/N,” she snarls from the other side, and you don’t hesitate to help yourself. Natasha is waiting on the other side of the door and she grabs you by the collar, roughly pushing you onto her couch. 

“You are such a disappointment,” she says, her hands clawing down your uniform and popping the buttons, misaligning the ribbons on your chest. 

“Please Sergeant,” you beg, all formalities going out the window. She straddles your lap and your hands automatically go to her hips, but she swats you away roughly.

“Did I give you permission to touch me?” she snaps.

“No, ma’am,” you groan with frustration, keeping your arms to the sides and holding onto handfuls of couch cushions to stop yourself from touching her again.

“You’re an embarrassment,” Natasha says, pushing off the outer layer of your uniform and then yanking the white undershirt over your head and tossing it away. “Your superiors stuck their necks out for you to get approval for your promotion, and then you go and show up to your first inspection like a day-one recruit?” 

“I…I’m sorry, ma’am,” you pant. Her hands are hot against your bare chest, and her hand wraps around the chain of your dog tags, jerking your neck up at an angle where you’re forced to look into her fierce green eyes.

“I’m not the one you should be apologizing to.” In her other hand, she holds up the remote that controls your cock ring. “I hope you know that I’ll have to punish you for your performance today.”

“I know,” you squeak, although privately you wonder if she’s humiliated you enough today. 

“I’m going to fuck you now, and you are not to cum until I give you permission. Do you understand?” Natasha says, with the same authority she uses when addressing the recruits.

“Yes, Sergeant!”

“Don’t let me down more than you already have.”

You watch while holding your breath as Natasha undresses herself, then undoes your belt and zipper, pulling your pants and boxers down to free your cock. Even you’ve never seen yourself so hard before, the tip a dark red and leaking pre-cum, the veins on the sides visibly pulsing. You hold back a moan when Natasha takes you in her hand, stroking you lightly and you bite on your lip to focus on not cumming already.  

The cock ring vibrates harder, causing your hips to jerk off the couch. You desperately try to keep still as Natasha glares at you, not speaking as she lines her entrance up with the head of your cock. You already know that the combination of the cock ring and being inside of her will be too much for you; you’ve been teased enough today and have been on edge for hours. If Natasha is going to punish you for cumming too early, you’re completely willing to accept it at this point.

“S-Sergeant,” you pant, quieting the second she sinks down on you.

“Oh fuck!” Natasha moans as you fill her, your size stretching her out pleasurably. Your thighs flex as you use every muscle in your legs to keep yourself grounded on the couch. Natasha lifts herself until only your head is inside of her before she slides down again, taking you all the way until she can directly feel the vibrations of your cock ring against the insides of her thighs.

“Sergeant, I can’t,” you beg, the coil in your stomach ready to snap at any second.

“Yes, you can,” Natasha demands, yanking on your dog tags like they’re a leash. The metal bites into your neck and the pain is just enough to keep you from tumbling off the cliff. “I get to cum first.”

“Y-Yes. Yes, ma’am.”

Natasha bounces on your waist, using you like a toy of her own, as you lay there, tensed to your breaking point trying not to cum before she says you can. Your pre-cum lubes up your own cock and the vibrations from the cock ring stimulate her as well, so all you have to do is hold on long enough for Natasha to catch up.

“Are you going to fail your next uniform inspection, Sergeant?” she asks, moving her hips sloppily. She lets go of your dog tags, digging her nails into your shoulders. 

“No, Sergeant!”

“Good.” Her walls flutter around you and you know she’s close. “Are you ready to cum?”

“Oh God, yes.”

“Go ahead. I want every drop inside of me.”

Your vision goes white as you lose control, spilling into Natasha in hard, heavy spurts. Your entire body is shaking as you empty yourself and you don’t think you’ve ever cum more in your life. You don’t even notice Natasha reach her own orgasm at the same time you do, so focused on finally getting your release, that it isn’t until you’re slumped back on her couch, your thighs coated in your combined body fluids, that you realize what happened. 

Natasha gets off your lap, removing the cock ring and patting your limp cock. 

“I can’t wait to use this again,” she smirks.

---------------------------------------------------------------------------

AN: Please like, reblog, and comment! Follow for more content. 🥰

#natasha romanoff #black widow #natasha romanoff smut #natasha romanoff imagine #sergeant beef au #natasha romanoff x reader

[kiwanopie]

mdni. college au. first installment of boyfriend!bakugou “a like-like”

“So,” You breathe. “Does this mean you like me?”

The difference in temperature is stark as he lifts himself off of you.

You’re still pretty when you’re sweaty, you’ve always been. When you’re heaving out strained breaths across the field, when the afternoon sun shines on your exposed shoulders.

- When you’re underneath him.

The only difference now is that those purple colored blemishes on your skin aren’t from his fingers or his explosions. And the taste of you is still sweet on his tongue. - He looks down at you and you’re everything he could’ve imagined, sprawled out like a painting; all his.

Katsuki makes an incredulous face from where he’s slotted between your legs. “W-What…? Do you not see what we’re doing right now?”

“Yeah but,” You pout. His balls ache. “What if this is just some friends with benefits situation and this is like some one off thing?”

“Do you want this to be some one off thing?”

You shake your head. “No...”

He’s angling his hips back when you speak up again, but the way you’re starting to clench down on him nearly makes him lightheaded. “Do you like-like me?”

You and Mina have been hanging out too much. Oh god, he’s gonna go soft if he keeps thinking like that.

“____- Angel,” He huffs. “I like you so much that it fuckin’ hurts sometimes. You think I’d be this deep in yer guts if I didn’t?”

He shudders when you tighten up. “Ask me to be your girlfriend.”

“I think that fuckin’ goes without saying.”

Your fingers are feather light when you reach for him. Silk, cotton, and every other fucking soft thing he can think of when you wrap your arms around his neck and pull him in. He fits into you like a key, fills in all your empty spaces and molds himself to you like it was the only thing he was made for. He wants to close his eyes and stay this way forever, melt into you and cover you like a veil. - And when you starts to speak, airy and breathless, nuzzling into him like you feel the same; he sure there isn’t a feeling around that’s any better than this.

Until your words register to him. “I wanna hear you say it, Katsuki. Wanna hear it in your voice like I’ve always wanted.”

He’s in heaven.

You shiver as he skims his nose down the curve of your neck, following the trail up with slow tempered kisses.

He’s sin as he hums against your skin. “Let me be your boyfriend and I’ll fuck you till you cry.”

#boyfriend!bakugou #first thing i post and it’s about a character that i consistently have beef with #katsuki bakugo x reader #bakugou fluff #bakugou smut #mdni #mha smut #bnha smut #bnha bakugou #katsuki bakugo mha #bakugou x reader #bnha x reader #mha x reader #bnha #mha #boku no hero bakugou #boku no hero academia #my hero academia

[chrollohearttags]

and so it begins….EJ vs. Connie: part 1 who team you on?? ☠️☠️ (picture credit to @levisbaldheadedwh0re for the last tweet!!)

#musician x influencer au #social media au #aot au #aot smau #aot x black reader #eren x black fem!reader #connie springer #eren jaeger #eren yeager #reverb series #eren x y/n #musician au #eren aot #connie aot #black reader #crack post #aot #attack on titan #attack on titan au #bout to be the best rap beef ever #black fem reader #musician eren #rapper connie #aot onyankopon #armin artlert #eren x black reader #cw suggestive #humor post #fake tweets #fake social media

[ghouljams]

College au thoughts for Ghost. Ghost never thought he'd go to college, never was much for school, and honestly he's a late addition to the whole thing. He joined the military as soon as he could and when he got discharged he figured fuck it, they're paying him to go to school why not? Mostly he went for something to do, but then he met Price who convinced him to join marching band. Then he met Soap and Gaz, and he decided maybe this whole thing wasn't such a bad idea.

All that to say Ghost had no fucking clue what he was in school for. He just was taking classes to kill time but now he's going to school. Ghost stumbles into a philosophy lecture, grabbed it as a blow off class and figures he'll sleep through it. Of course that's the beginning of the end. Ghost doesn't half ass anything, he does the reading, he makes his comment in class, and bites his tongue when another student tries to refute it. He's not an expert, but he's lived a fucking life, he's spent more time thinking than living and more time in hell than any of these kids could dream of. And his professor takes notice.

He gets called in to office hours and spends the next two hours debating the reading with his professor. He has no idea how it happens but he leaves with an armful of books. He's fumin'. He tears through the greats, starts grabbing more obscure philosophers from the library, shows up to class and patiently listens to the stupid arguments that his classmates make just so he can grab his professor afterwards and tell them in no uncertain terms that their 101 class is full of morons. Only to be handed the paperwork to transfer up to a more advanced class, along with the papers to declare a major.

Which I think is a pretty stellar way for Ghost to find out that he's going to fall in love with you.

#ghoul speaks #cod x reader #x reader #simon ghost riley #simon ghost riley x reader #ghost x reader #ghost mw2 #professor!reader #simon riley x reader #simon riley cod #simon riley #college au #ghost call of duty #ghost cod #x oc #cod x oc #just gonna add the oc tags #just in case anyone has beef with me

[cerise-on-top]

Hii please can you do family hcs for soap, graves and rodolfo (sorry if thats two meny) like as in having kids being married and stuff x

Hey! I don't write about children, so I wrote general marriage HCs for the lads :-)

Marriage HCs for Soap, Rodolfo and Graves

Soap: As soon as you’re engaged he’s never taking that ring off again. It’s a small but lovely reminder that the two of you are bound together forever. To be frank, he loves the feeling of being married to you. His bonnie and him are finally married, what more could he want? He’s actually a surprisingly good husband, always taking care of you and getting you whatever you need. Insists on going on vacation with you for a week to ten days once a year. It’s his way of unwinding. Plus he really wants to see the world with you, make as many memories as possible as well. Very dutiful too, if you ever tell him to do something then he’ll do it. Rarely ever does he complain. After all, his beautiful spouse needs him, and what is more wonderful than that. If you’re not allergic to them, then he insists on getting a dog with you. They’re loyal, they’re sweet, they’re adventurous. They’re kind of like him and he jokes about that too. If you love Soap then you’re going to love a dog as well. However, sometimes he gets a bit overwhelmed with love for you and will just hold you tightly for a bit. He doesn’t talk, he doesn’t even move, he just holds you and takes in your warmth and your scent. Once he’s almost done feeling sappy, he’ll sigh, put your face in between his hands, give you a big smooch and tell you how much he loves you. It gets especially bad once you’re married. He can’t help it, though, he simply adores you.

Rodolfo: He never would have thought he’d find someone willing to marry someone like him. Sure, he’s flattered and flabbergasted, even, and that sometimes gets to him. Once you’re married, he’ll try his best to be a good husband for you. Gets up before you do so he can make you some breakfast, cleans your home as long as he can be quiet, hell, he’ll even try to use the washing machine and wash your clothes. If you’re awake somehow and want to join him, he’s over the moon. There’s just something so domestic about doing house chores together, he loves it. At one point he’ll insist on going on a roadtrip through Mexico together so you can see all the most beautiful sights together. He loves his country and he loves you too, so he’d love nothing more than to combine both of those things together. It’s not optional either, he’ll bring it up again and again until you finally relent and let him plan everything. I don’t think he’d be too much of a dog person, but you could probably convince him to get a cat. He wouldn’t admit it, but he thinks they’re kind of cute. Will also try to be your cat’s favorite by feeding it some snacks here and there, just to brag that it loves him after all. One thing he’ll also start doing once you’re married is send letters to you. You don’t have to respond, but he just wants to send you something more personal every once in a while. Besides, it’s something sweet too, isn’t it? Not very many people send each other letters anymore these days. They’re more personal than a simple text message.

Graves: He’s a cocky but loveable guy most of the time, but he actually becomes a bit calmer once you’re married. Sure, he’ll still tease you when he can, but that’s just how he is. Back then, he may have told you he loves you by teasing you, but nowadays he genuinely just holds you close and gives you a heartfelt “I love you” from time to time. Not too fond of doing chores, even with you, but he’ll do them anyway because he can’t just leave all the work to you, even if he wouldn’t mind hiring a maid to do so either. Will want to buy a big house for the both of you to live in together. He has too much money on his hands anyway, so he does it anyway. It’s not going to be too remote, but it won’t be in the heart of a city either. If you’re not American then he’ll convince you to live with him in the States. It’s his home country, he’s a proud American and he wants you to be with him. He’s not too open for a pet, in all honesty. Even if he can’t really name a reason as to why. It’s not like he’s allergic or anything, he’s just not the biggest fan of pets. Most he can do is a fish. But trust me, he’d actually take really good care of that fish. It would likely be overfed, but he’d deny ever feeding it and caring for it. If he thinks you’re not around then he’ll actually talk to it about how great of a spouse you are and how lovely it is that you’re taking care of him and it. Yes, he gushes about you to the fish. If asked he doesn’t even know you have a fish, though.

#cod #cod x reader #john soap mactavish #john soap mactavish x reader #soap x reader #rodolfo parra #rodolfo parra x reader #phillip graves #phillip graves x reader #Third request of the day I've ran out of things to say #Graves would have beef with any pet you get but would love it deep down anyway #also please read my rules I don't write about children #you're the third or fourth person to ask something like that from me and it's starting to get on my nerves a bit #next time someone violates my rules I'm just not gonna write the request #I'm not even gonna adjust it to fit my rules I'm just gonna outright decline #I'm a kindhearted fool but I'm gonna be a bit meaner from here on out and put my foot down #hopefully

[barnes1031]

Me when I find the most Damn beautiful fanfiction written in the story and Tumblr automatically returns to the main page. Now I have to search for it by tags why didn't I give it a like.

#bucky barnes x reader #bucky barnes x stark!reader #beef!bucky barnes #beefy!bucky #bucky barnes x latina!reader #bucky smut #bucky x female reader #bucky x ex wife reader #matt murdock x you #daryl x y/n #daredevil x you #negan x you #negan x y/n #ransom drysdale x you #ransom drysdale x y/n #rick grimes x you

[queenofallimagines]

Needy Embarrassing sex with Sae

A/N: Daydreaming about this mans dick what else is new🙄😒 imagining he’s in charge of helping the new manager get accustomed to the team and he can’t help but let his eyes wander

EDIT: MDNI but here’s an audio reference for y’all who not picking up what I’m putting down💕 twitter link 🥰

Sae:

- this one gave me butterflies Ngl

- Bc I can hear his voice

- Like I said he’s a lot more Tame than Rin so he does have an occasional soft spot

- ESPECIALLY for cute little things who can’t even remember the name of half the teammates they’re managing

- Since he’s the best of the best coach obviously tells him to whip you into shape

- “Try not to scare this one off”

- “Not my fault you signed off on someone who can’t even fill a water bottle”

- The coach is praying for you fr

- Surprised that you take the initiative to approach him first to ask him about things

- “I mean you ARE the star midfielder right? You probably have a good read on everyone and how they work so asking you would be my best bet.”

- Okay he loves a go getter

- Pleasantly surprised that you’re asking good questions

- “I’m trying to get as much info as possible so this becomes second nature.”

- Gives you a through rundown of the schedule and what time they take breaks

- Obviously he’s a diva so he’s the most demanding

- Giving you a tour around the facilities

- “That’s the locker room. Wouldn’t recommend walking by here between the hours of 4:45 and 6pm”

- “…..I’ll keep that in mind.”

- Finds showing you around not annoying

- Once you get to the dorms he’s listing off everyone’s sleeping habits

- “He won’t wake up before 8:30 am so if you can manage that congratulations”

- He’s been eyeing you this entire time but he can’t help it!

- He’s a hard worker so anyone putting in honest effort into anything especially when it pertains to him catches his eye

- Not his fault you look good taking notes and analyzing your surroundings

- Stands back when showing you the rooms so he can sneak a peek at your ass

- You feel him glaring holes into your back but it’s not for the reason you think

- He’s infamous for being kinda a spoiled brat but he produces amazing results so who’s gunna say something to him??

- Lmao not I said the cat

- You don’t even peep his heated gaze until you bump into him walking backwards

- Turning around quickly to apologize before he can catch an attitude his eyes are quite literally undressing you

- This man’s whole life is sports so ofc he’s gunna find a track suit sexy

- Will play it off like he’s not embarrassed for getting caught

- “Cat got your tongue? Don’t tell me you’re just now getting star struck.”

- Mans is giggly asf in the back of his head

- He fr ain’t seen someone catch his eye like this in a while

- Logically getting his dick wet right now would be nice

- But also with the new manager on the first day??

- weighing the options in his head and the way you look up at him and go

- “What about you? What do you want from your manager?”

- He threw caution to the wind

- Everyone else is busy with practice and he can make up some lukewarm ass excuse as to why you guys took so long

- Testing the waters by letting one of his hands rest on your lower back

- Mamma ain’t raise no bitch so he’s relieved you immediately return his energy

- He’s not wasting anymore time and pulls you in for a kiss

- Mans is STARVED for intimacy like this so he’s definitely a little more vulnerable

- Like that’s definitely the reason your lips fit so well against his

- Why your body curves into his so nicely when he carries you to his bed

- Yeah that’s definitely it

- Feeling himself get embarrassingly hard so fast he’s feverishly tugging at your sweatpants

- “Let me make you feel good, there you go.”

- The quiver in his voice isn’t missed

- You have a once in a lifetime free pass to tease THE Itoshi Sae

- PLEASE TAKE IT!!

- Grind your hips into his while tugging at the hair at the nape of his neck and he will let out some of the sweetest moans for you

- It really has been a while the way his hands are shaking to pull off his own clothes

- Pull him down to kiss you, distracting him from his current task

- He’s weak for being pushed around a little

- Throws your legs over his shoulders without warning

- The way he’s got your legs spread wide for him and he’s eye level with what he wants has you avoiding eye contact at all costs

- Moving his head between your thighs he’s damn near moaning with his mouth all over you

- Holds your trembling thighs still right beside his ears as he shamelessly moans into your cunt

- “You taste so fucking good, gonna use my fingers.”

- This man has not had pussy I’m so long he’s acting FOOLISH

- If he even took a moment to BREATHE he would be giving you heart eyes

- The way he’s singing praises while sucking your clit and angling his fingers to hit your g-spot all at once

- Man is filthy, and he’s not at all ashamed like he’s grown

- Spitting on your clit before he starts rubbing it with his thumb

- While his mouth and other hand are busy getting as much of your taste as possible

- The type of man to need to lay a towel down no matter WHAT your doing in bed

- Very “wait I didn’t shave” “did I ask all that??” Energy imo

- He’s gunna have you cumming on his sheets anyway so what do all that matter??

- Looks up and sees you covering your face trying to keep your noises down and that shit don’t fly w him

- “Keep covering your face and I’ll tie your hands to the bed.”

- And he’s dead serious too

- Comes up to kiss you not caring if you taste yourself because he wants to feel your lips THAT bad

- The way he refuses to break eye contact only serves to make you more shy because they’re glossed over with desire

- making sure you can’t squirm away from him has he has you cumming on his fingers

- “Feel good?… Yeah? like how i stretch you out? Let me feel you come undone then.”

- Whew IK he talks you through it😫

- “Keep your eyes open.”

- “S-sae I can’t-“

- “You can and you will, pretty thing.”

- Feels your nails digging into your wrists as you clench around his fingers

- “Ah. Almost there? Make a mess f’me.”

- Almost came in his pants watching your eyes roll back

- Since he IS shameless he’ll lick his fingers clean as you’re forced to watch him

- Dramatic as fuck the way he groans about you tasting good

- “Let me watch you play with it.”

- Watching your small fingers curl inside your pussy as you mewl in embarrassment almost has him intoxicated

- Throwing his damn clothes anywhere

- He’s not too stupid to not tease you a little tho

- “If you’re that shy turn around and hide your face in the pillows”

- Nothing is EVER that easy with him

- Cursing and grunting under his breath as he slips it in

- “How about you set the pace. Fuck me how you want”

- Chuckles as you hide your face in the pillows while fucking back into him

- He knows how to put on a performance before all else too

- “Use my cock cmon, make me proud and fuck me good pretty.”

- He’s moaning like a whole ass pornstar head thrown back and everything

- Trying not to move because this is your “punishment” for being all shy

- Can’t help it when you look back at him face clearly burning and whimpering at how embarrassing this is

- Praising you which makes it even MORE embarrassing

- “There you go” “fuck me till I come cmon” “you can do it”

- Like bro SHUT UP😭

- However the way you’re squeezing him tells otherwise

- When he feels you come around him he grits his teeth and says a small sorry in his head before he shoves your face into the mattress

- Feeling you wrapped about him had him fr loosing his mind

- Might skip all of practice just to keep doing this

- “Mhm, you can cum on this dick.. i wanna see it messy."

- Stretches out his words and talks all slow

- He is an Itoshi though unfortunately

- “W-wait Sae, 's too much, you're too fucking big."

- Has you seeing stars like never before

- Clit pincher🗣️ hair puller🗣️

- “Sayin’ it's too much but whining for more? Can't make up your then mind I’ll decide for you.”

- Pushing you deeper into the mattress with his whole body weight

- Grunts and moans RIGHT into your damn ear because you’re squeezing him so might tighter shouldn’t he tell you how good you’re making him feel?

- “At least your cunt knows what she wants, pretty pussy sucking me in and won’t let go. Want me to fill you up that damn bad?”

- Failed to take into account that all he wants to do now is lay down and spoon you while you cockwarm him

- But alas this is the shared dorm and NOT his apartment

- And he has no clue how long y’all been at it

- Helps you clean up while wobbling slightly

- Makes sure there’s no trace of what yall did but the sheets to his bed being in the washing machine

- Nobody thinks nothing bc he’s an upper class brat who needs things to be pristine

- Some people get suspicious when it happens like 5 times a week though….

- He does all his laundry separate so there’s no one to see how your underwear accidentally falls out the pocket of one of his jackets

- Everyone congratulates you on somehow going above and beyond so well that The Sae Itoshi acknowledged you!

- He didn’t think after the first time that looking at your ass you’d be enough to make him embarrassingly hard in public but oh well

- “Continue in my absence I’m going to check if the manager has the new schedule.”

- A few people see red scratches peeking out his jersey but meh probably just the imagination

#my writing #x black reader #blue lock #bllk #bllk smut #bllk sae #nsft #sae itoshi #sae smut #itoshi sae #my god i love him #I hate his ass too #like I heard some Va talking all slow and I was like yeah that’s him #blue lock x reader #blue lock smut #blue lock scenarios #blue lock x black reader #pussy put him to sleep now he calling me NyQuil #bllk x reader smut #using all the tags bc that ONE mf with their lame ass memes @ the top of the tag #make your own tag on your blog good god bc when I go looking #all I see is youuuu #like I got beef w you on principal :/