#but humans are still oh so very hard for me cause sorry Casey | Explore Tumblr Posts and Blogs

jamilelucato · 3 years

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The Duff || Fred Weasley

pairing: Fred Weasley x reader (any house)

summary: your life became too stressing lately, and Fred Weasley, although generally very annoying, manages to distract you just enough when he stops talking.

A/N: completely based on the book The Duff. Like completely. So reader may have some issues with her appearance. Sorry about my other fics! It’s just that, when an idea pops, I have to write. It’s a big fic. (feel like it’s one of my brightest works)

words: + 11k

warnings: insinuations and mentions of sex; body insecurities; sick father, etc

Harry Potter Masterlist || Musical Hogwarts Series

You couldn't understand what could be the fun in going to Three Broomsticks to party. The place is one of the oldest bars in Hogwarts, but not long ago, Madam Rosmerta decided to add a dance floor in one of the darkest sides of the pub, and she got one of those muggle music machines. It was very nice if your thing was dancing in sweat and rubbing your body in people.

Easy to say it was most definitely not your thing.

"Okay, that's it for you," said Madam Rosmerta, taking your mug away. It once was filled with butterbeer, but the barmaid seemed to think you had gotten it filled way too many times for a night.

"Oh, come on," you complained, "there's no alcohol on those."

"I know. But it has sugar, and you had one too many," Rosmerta said, ignoring your pout and walking away from your side of the counter so she could serve other costumers.

Your brain fought a battle to decide if it was worth contesting and explaining that not offering you more butterbeer was causing the barmaid to lose money when the stool next to you cried with the weight that was jumping on it.

"Good evening, y/n," said the boy who now sat next to you.

It was inevitable when your eyes rolled just by smelling his cologne. There was no need for you even to turn to know who it was. Only one boy in the whole Hogwarts was confident enough to wear such cheap cologne as if it was holy water.

"Get the hell away, Weasley," you cried, wishing, profoundly, to have another butterbeer with you.

Madam Rosmerta noticed the new client sitting close to the counter, and she quickly came back to serve him.

"Fred Weasley," she greeted him with her playful smile. She knew the Hogwarts teenage boys only flirted with her in hopes of a discount, but she enjoyed it, considering it rather fun. "What can I get you?"

"My usual butterbeer, Ro," he said, charming her with his smirk. She chuckled, while he passed her a coin.

"If you're getting him one, you're getting me one too," you warned the barmaid, raising a brow. Your serious approach worked because, with a sigh, she walked back with two drinks.

You tossed her your coin.

"That is officially your last one, young lady, so you better enjoy it," she threatened before leaving and playing with her hair solemnly for Fred to see.

He was still smiling when you decided to look at him. He was a bastard, but, boy, was he handsome.

"You have five seconds to disappear from in front of me now that you have your drink," you warned. Even though Fred's eyes followed the back of Rosmerta, yours was still staring at him. Maybe the amount of disgust you felt for him could pass on with a look.

"Chill, would you?" Fred took a sip from his mug, supporting his arms on the counter, finally looking at you. "If you're so bothered, the dance floor awaits."

You chuckled, frowning right after. "Look, Weasley, don't you have any other girl to fuss around?"

He smirked, thinking you were falling for his game. "Do you have friends you'd like to suggest?" he played, raising his brows. "Is Jess still single?"

"I'd be dead if I let you stay even one meter close to my friends, do you hear me? I don't want them catching any diseases," you shivered just with the thought of how many girls (and STDs) this boy before you might have encountered.

"So they are here," his eyes narrowed as if he was scanning the dance floor, searching for your girls.

"Go away, Fred," you sighed, tired of that conversation. You took one sip of your mug, but the butterbeer was no longer enough to keep your mind away from Fred Weasley's affairs. "And stay away from Jess and Casey."

"Oh, y/n, just put a good word for me, please. I mean, it is your job," Fred leaned in, closer to you and his scent attacked your nostrils again, making you lean back.

"It's not my job to help you, Weasley."

"Well, as their duff, I think it is," he drank from his mug, ignoring your confused look.

"Duff?"

Asking him what the word meant called his attention back to you, but he seemed surprised you hadn't heard about it yet. "You know, designated ugly fat friend," he replied, making a peculiar gesture with his neck as he spoke the last term.

You couldn't possibly have heard him right. "Excuse me??"

"Look, I don't mean to offend," he shrugged his broad shoulders, a gift from all his years playing Quidditch.

He noticed how fast your expression was changing.

"It's not like you're an ogre or anything, but in comparison…" his eyes wandered back to the dance floor, this time yours followed, seeing Jess and Casey — your longest-time best friends — dancing with some other students. "Think about it. Why do they bring you here if you don't dance?"

"Shut it, Weasley. They bring me here because I'm their friend; stop with your nonsense," your mind was working incredibly hard to stop you from believing that you were the ugly friend. Because that could not be the truth. Especially if everyone already knew and the one to tell you about it had to be the most annoying Gryffindor.

Fred had the nerve to reach over and pat your knee, but you jerked away from him. "Look," he said, "you have hot friends… really hot friends."

All the butterbeer you had drunk was starting to make you sick. Perhaps Rosmerta had been right, but if you had to bet in a guilt part, you'd bet on the ginger.

"The point is, in a group of friends, there's always a weak link, a Duff. And girls respond well to guys who associate with their Duffs."

"Where are you getting this info? The Quibbler?" you never meant to offend the Lovegoods, but Fred Weasley was speaking rubbish at this point.

"Don't be bitter," Fred pressed his lips together, pausing. "What I'm saying is girls find it sexy when lads show some sensitivity and socialize with the Duff. So, please, help me here, and just pretend to enjoy our talk."

There it was, in front of you, the living, redheaded proof that stupidity is capable of making people persevere for years. You already knew that Fred was a womanizing asshole, but it was unexpected to find out how worthless as a human being he is, too. Pretty faces definitely aren't everything.

With one swift motion, you jumped to your feet and flung the contents of your mug in Fred's direction.

The remaining butterbeer flew all over him, splattering his striped polo collar shirt. The liquid got his ginger hair wet entirely, which surprised you because, usually, you wouldn't have such great aim.

His face burned with anger, and his chiselled mandible clenched angrily. "What was that for?" he snapped, wiping his face with the back of his hand.

"What do you think it was for?" you snapped.

"I have no possible idea."

Madam Rosmerta appeared again, giving Fred a white cloth to dry himself, but it wasn't enough. Part of you wanted to be mad at the waitress for helping Fred, but you knew she just didn't want him to ask her to take you out.

"If you think I'm letting one of my friends leave this place with you, Weasley, you're very, very wrong, " you spluttered, staring at him with fire in your eyes. "You're a shallow jackass, and I hope that we never cross paths again."

The stupid muggle music played so loud that no one but Rosmerta overheard you, and she probably found you awsome. She loved some teenage drama.

You grabbed your friends as quickly as you could. They were about protest all the way to the secret passageway back to Hogwarts, so you decided it was best to explain what was happening.

"What's wrong?" Casey asked. Her once perfect dark hair was now wet — part of you wondered if the sweat even belonged to her. For such a smart Ravenclaw, you expected more of her.

"Let's get back to school; I just can't stand to be in this hellhole for one more second, " you said, dragging their reluctant bodies along behind you.

"Why are we leaving so early? It's only, like, nine-fifteen," Jess asked, frowning a bit, looking at you with her sad big blue eyes. Her Hufflepuff charm was about to work on you when you remembered why you were living.

"I got into an argument with someone, " you said, and Jess puppy eyes quickly disappeared, opening the place for her angry face to emerge. "I threw my Coke on him, and I didn't want to stick around for his response."

"Who?" Casey asked. You'd been dreading that question because you knew the reaction you'd get.

"Fred Weasley." two girly sighs followed your answer. "The guy is a man-whore. I can't stand him. He sleeps with everything that moves, and his brain is located in his pants—which means it's microscopic."

"I doubt that, " Casey said with another sigh.

"He's a jerk," you said, hoping your voice sounded like it was final. The tunnel back to Hogwarts seemed endless.

"That's not true," Jessica inserted. "Katie Bell told me he talked to her when she was alone at the Yule Ball. She was with Angelina and Alicia, and she said he just came up and made conversation, really friendly."

That made sense. Katie was definitely the Duff if she was out with Angelina and Alicia. And you knew for a fact that Angelina left with Fred that night.

"He's charming, " Casey said. "Give him some credit." Her smile slowly faded when she remembered that you threw at him your beer. "But what the hell did he do to you tonight, huh?" Now she sounded concerned. Took her long enough.

You sighed, noticing that saying something would only make their worry and you really wanted to avoid their pity. "Nothing, " you lied, "Fred just pisses me off."

Duff. The word bounced around in your mind as you three reached Hogwarts. When you took a last look at your friends before each parted to your houses, Fred's statement that you were the unattractive, undesirable tagalong seemed to be confirmed.

Jessica's perfect hourglass body and big brown eyes. Casey's athlete's features and impeccable skin. You definitely weren't like them.

"Well, see you tomorrow for the feast?" Jess asked the two of you.

You and Casey shared tired smiles. Although Casey would've like to stay a little longer at the Three Broomsticks, she welcomed extra sleeping hours. Her Quidditch player schedule didn't leave her much time to rest.

"See you," you stated, walking away slowly, letting your feet lead the way to your dorm where you'd try extra hard to forget the whole Duff thing.

You picked your blanket up to your chin, not wanting to get out of bed so soon, even though you could very much get late for Snape's class.

Fred Weasley words were hunting you like a ghost. They shouldn't be, because you sure didn't care about his opinion. But the courage he had called you that disgusting abbreviation and how you seemed to find the one out from every single group of friends you walked past.

It had been a week and a half, so why did his words bother you? You were brilliant and a good witch, always there for your friends. Thus, who cared if you were the Duff?

If you were charming, you'd have to deal with lads like Weasley hitting on you. Ugh! That could be a Duff benefit, right? Being unattractive didn't have to suck.

Damn Fred Weasley! You couldn't believe he managed to pack your head with such superficial bullshit. Getting out of bed with a jump, you were committed.

You wouldn't think about Duffs ever again.

Thursdays were homework day, at least for you and your best friends.

When classes were over, the three of you would meet at the library for a long late afternoon, reading through books and doing assignments. And, of course, spilling some tea with whispers.

That afternoon was being way bored than you expected. It was like Jess and Casey interrupted your reading all the time to tell you something new, but that day they seemed to have nothing to say.

And when I say nothing, I mean nothing.

Suspicious.

You stared at them, who pretended they hadn't been facing you all along and turned back to their essays.

"Okay, what is it? You two are awfully quiet," you whispered, leaning closer to them, scared the librarian could hear you.

They exchanged looks before, sighing, Jess gave up on her silent treatment.

"Remember when we planned on going to Three Broomsticks tomorrow?" she pouted, trying to work her big eyes on you.

"You two planned, you mean. I never agreed on it."

"We kinda find dates to go with us," said Casey, ignoring your comment on the matter.

You stared at your two best friends, holding yourself to not laugh.

"Thankfully. I never said I wanted to go," you pointed out with a smile, turning back to your book.

Jessica didn't seem satisfied with you looking away just yet.

"We can find you a date," Jess suggested.

You chuckled. "Alright," you spat — the possibility sounded ridiculous; principally when Fred's words still echoed in the corner of your mind.

"y/n, you have to come," Casey's tone was more serious. "You never go out unless we force you. So, if you don't want a date for yourself, you are thrid-wheeling."

"Not in Askaban, I am not!" you protested, raising your voice way too much but thankfully nobody was around.

Jess tried to work her puppy eyes again. "Please," she sobbed. "If you don't come, I'll feel guilty. Do you want me to ditch Cormac?"

"You are going with Cormac??" you asked, genuinely concerned because he was younger than you, but then you recalled he wasn't younger than her.

"Just show up," said Casey, not really allowing you to object. "I'll pay you a butterbeer."

Her offer was very, very tempting. You had no idea if one could become addicted to butterbeer since yours never had alcohol, but you're getting closer to that.

"But I'll only stay 'till nine," you informed.

The two girls smiled, and Jess had to hold herself from clapping in excitement.

"That'll be enough," said Casey.

"Is your father okay?" Casey asked you as soon as Jess left, and she had the open opportunity to corner you.

She was the only one in the school that you were brave enough to confess what was happening to your father. He had been recently attacked by some Death Eaters, and the Cruciatus curse left him with severe brain damaged.

It happened during the summer, before the start of your seventh year, so you had a couple of weeks to recover from that news before going back to school.

But when your mom's first letter arrived, saying your father was getting more insane with time, no amount of preparation was enough to hold back your tears as you ran out of the Great Hall.

You were able to lie to Jess, but with Casey, you weren't so lucky. Besides, her mom worked at St. Mungo's, so she already knew about your dad way before you told her.

It had been two months since you've been ignoring your mom's letters, all of them. You are too scared to read what they've got to say, and she doesn't let you go back home anyways.

You wanted to be with him, your father, hold his hand, make him better. But your mom was firm on her decision about you graduating Hogwarts.

So, when you stared at Casey's beautiful face, you had no idea what to answer.

"He can't get better," you said, in tone way harsher than you were planning. Who knew that not speaking about a matter would make you feel more painful towards it?

Casey gulped — she was always like that: she would touch the wound, but she had no idea what to do about it later.

"Do you want me to write to my m..."

"No," you quickly answered, not even letting her finish. "I just need to graduate — then I'll deal with my dad."

"It will take longer while 'till graduation, y/n," Casey pointed out. She knew you were convincing yourself it was just a couple more months, but that was a terrible lie you no longer could satisfy yourself with.

Casey wanted to do something, but taking you out was all you allowed the girls to do to you. You hated the new club atmosphere of Three Broomsticks, but you had to admit, it was pretty distracting.

"Promise I'll see you tomorrow night?"

"Promise," you said, before leaving your best friend alone in the hallway.

Snape's latest assignment stood before you, with a lot of notes from the Professor, pointing out all of your mistakes.

And there were a lot of them.

When class ended, you walked up to the Professor, gulping and shaking. You knew he didn't dislike you, but you were never too careful with Severus Snape.

"Professor, can I talk to you for a minute?"

"Yes?" he turned to face you; his black robe swirled with his movement.

"I just want to know if this essay was, hm, a big part of this year's grade?" you asked, avoiding looking in his dark eyes. "If so, can I do something else to improve my grade?"

He swallowed before answering, his serious tone implicating he didn't want to be having this conversation.

"You used to be my best student, Miss y/l/n, but this year you turned into the worse," he said, pausing in that terrible way only he knew. If your last year's grade hadn't been an Outstanding, I would have written you off my class by now."

You stared at Snape, unsure of what to do next and terrified of the man before you. He never treated you that way.

"Sorry to bother, Professor," you said, leaving right away, knowing very well that he had just ruined your rest of the day, including the night with your girls.

But what would you tell them? They would say that Snape was always like that. And even Casey, who was bloody smart, didn't have classes with Snape anymore. She would say for you to drop it too.

Your mind led your feet to the Moaning Myrtle's abandoned bathroom. There, your cry could be confused with hers by those who passed by. Thus, no one would disturb you.

The ghost wasn't even startled when she heard you come in, crying, and throw yourself on the floor near the sinks. Myrtle has seen you there since the school year started when you read your mother's first letter.

You usually went there at night, when you were sure you wouldn't see anyone. But after years of trusting Professor Snape — and believing that he would never mistreat you — what you heard today was the culmination.

When you decided you had cried enough, you headed out of the bathroom, holding your Potions (terrible) essay closer to your chest. You walked around the castle, but, perhaps, your eyes lost contact with your brain — the next thing you knew, you ran smack into Fred Weasley.

As if I needed more reasons for wanting to die.

You stumbled backwards, and your essay slipped from your arms, heading straight to the floor.

The ginger boy grasped you by both shoulders, his big hands catching you before you had the chance to slip over your own feet.

"Watch it," he said, steadying you.

You two were standing way too close to each other, and once again, you could smell his cheap cologne, this time it seemed to spread all over your body. Bloody hell, am I gonna smell like Weasley now? You shivered with disgust, but he misread it.

"Trouble standing up?" he joked, looking down at you with a cocky smirk.

He was really tall — you'd forgotten that, sitting next to him at the Three Broomsticks that night.

"Do I make you weak in the knees?"

Ignoring his stupid question, you knelt down to get the essay, and he did the same, grabbing it first. You forgot how to breathe for a second, hoping he wouldn't try to read it — and notice all the corrections Snape had made with permanent ink.

However, as soon as he grabbed it, he was handing it over to you.

You took it and brought it back closer to your chest, stepping away from him and his stupid perfume and stupid touch that sent weird and uncomfortable chills through your spine.

You were starting to walk away, leaving him behind when you heard:

"Thank you, Weasley," he attempted to copy your accent. "See you around, Weasley."

But you rolled your eyes and didn't even venture to look at him again.

How you managed to get out of your dorm and show up was all Jess and Casey's fault. If they hadn't been talking about you going out all week, and then Jess almost crying for you to appear, you would've rather very much stayed in bed.

You drummed your fingers on the wooden surface of the bar, your mind far away from the muggle music and your very dance-pants friends.

Your mind was tricking you in remembering about your father, something you were really trying to push away. Why hadn't you insisted on staying with Dad? Why hadn't you read mom's letters?

You kept imagining your dad, wallowing in his misery… alone. You wondered if at least your mom would visit him at St. Mungos. They were never the clingy type of couple, but maybe now she could be more sentimental.

But neither you were sentimental. So why now? Why care so much for your dad when he was never that much of an extraordinary parent?

"Evenin', Duffy."

Why did that nitwit have to sit next to you?

"Go away, Fred," you scolded, looking down at your fingers, playing with your empty mug.

"I can't, " he said. "First of all, the only reason you're here's that I taught you and your friends how to scape Hogwarts," you rolled your eyes while he continued, "besides, I'm not one to give up easily. I am set to snog one of your friends," he shrugged as if he was the biggest gentleman on Earth.

"Then go talk to the one," you suggested, not even turning to see his face.

"I would, but Fred Weasley doesn't chase girls. They chase him."

His sentence stayed in the air around as for a second before you burst in laughter. He couldn't be sober to say something like that. You faced him, finally, and confirmed — he very much had just arrived, so he wasn't drunk. He was just stupid.

Handsome, but stupid.

"Til they come to me, you get the honour of my company," he said, and then he took your mug away from your restless fingers. "Lucky for me, it doesn't look like you're armed with a beverage tonight."

You awaited for his laugh, but it never came.

"What is it with you today?"

"Already told you I'm not in the mood, Weasley," you reminded him.

"What's wrong?"

"Go...away," you warned, slowly.

You no longer good handle the tension burning inside you, it had to be released in some way, and it needed to be right then. But you didn't want to cry, not in front of a bunch of students partying, and there was no way you were going to vent with the dimwitted next to you, and punching someone would just get Rosmerta disappointed.

"Are you okay, y/n?" Fred asked, touching your shoulders carefully. He was forcing you to face him, even though he was being too gentle for his usual. "y/n?"

Then it was like your systems had stopped working — like a magic spell went wrong. Your only excuse is that you were under an unbelievable amount of stress, and you detected an exit.

You needed a distraction, and your chance was staring at you with sparkly eyes. Regret was the last thing you were thinking about.

An opportunity sat on the barstool beside you, and you lunged at it, literally.

You kissed Fred Weasley.

You grabbed him by polo neck of his red t-shirt, pulling him closer and locking your lips on his. He froze at first, but it didn't take him more than three seconds to understand what was happening, and the hand once on your shoulder was now on you cheeks.

Fred returned your urge, biting your lower lip, making his way inside your mouth with his tongue. Your hands left his neck and went to his hair, surprised to find soft hair.

His hands flew to your sides and pulled you toward him as if his hair was the secret to his horniness. As you wrapped your fingers in the strands of red hair, his fingertips dug into your waist.

It worked better than punching someone would have. Not only did it help you release the tension, but it distracted you. It's hard to think about your dad when you're making out with somebody.

He leaned into me, and I hauled at him so hard that Fred nearly fell off his bar stool. At that moment, both just couldn't get close enough to each other. Your separate seats seemed like they were miles apart.

Nothing existed, but the physical connection — there were no emotions in the way. It was amazing not to think. Nothing! Nothing… until he screwed it up.

His hand slid up from your waist, lingering along your back, and came to a stop around your boobs. Everything flooded back, and you suddenly remembered who had his lips on yours.

As fast as you jumped on him, you leaned away, taking your hands from his hair and shoving him away.

His hands dropped, one landing on your knee, as he pulled away. He looked astonished but weirdly pleased.

"Wow, Duff, that was—", but he never finished. You were already gone, running out of the bar and rushing to get to the secret passageway.

You didn't look back. If Fred followed, once you got to Hogwarts, he turned around.

When you reached your dorm and jumped on the bed, your heartbeat was impossible to keep track. You told yourself it was because of the run back to the school, but your mind was still playing flashes of the snogging session that had just happened.

It wasn't fair to remember his touch and how out of limits he was —good kisser, but still a jerk.

You didn't want to admit it, but you were madder at yourself than at him.

Two days.

That was the amount of time you managed to stay away from Fred Weasley since the little "incident".

One thing was for sure: it had numbed completely any stress your father situation was afflicting him. It had even made you forget about your recent bad grades.

Now, every time you got distracted, the only thought that filled your mind was a non-stop replay of the kiss you and Fred shared. It made you feel weirdly sick in the stomach, and you swore you could feel his disgusting touch as if it dirtied your body forever.

Jess and Casey didn't even bother arguing with you about leaving early that night — they felt guilty because they left you alone at the counter. Of course, you didn't tell them about the whole Weasley situation, but, even though Jess seemed clueless, Casey noticed your change in action.

How defensive you were towards their questions, more than usual. How you avoided spending too much time at the Great Hall.

So, when she purposely asked you to watch her Quidditch practice, you knew she was testing you. Perhaps Casey thought something worse was happening to your dad and if that was her bet, you wouldn't be the one to make her see the other side of the coin.

"Came to watch me play?" an annoying voice asked, calling your attention to your left where Fred Weasley stood flying up in his broom. His torso was tilted towards you, who was sitting in the stands.

One look was all you took for your mind to fill with disgusting memories, and your stomach was killing you once again. You faced back the field, where Casey was supposed to be practising, but, apparently, the thing was over because she and her teammates were nowhere to be found.

That explains the Gryffindor in his robes, you thought, sighing and gathering your things before getting up.

Fred was still staring at you, analyzing, expecting.

"I'm not here for you, Weasley," you spat.

Your temper surprised him, but he managed to recover before you could notice.

"What a pity," he sighed, letting the corner of his lips turn up. "I thought you wanted a second dose of fun."

You stared at him, with your angry issues burning up. If before kissing him he already had his ways of pissing you off, now it was like he was power was ten times stronger.

Your first thought was to hex him right there and then, but he wasn't worth that much worry.

"That wasn't fun, Weasley," you decided to state the obvious; something Fred seemed to have been having trouble understanding.

"You seemed very entertained twirling your fingers in my hair," he smirked, holding a chuckle while your eyes widened and you closed your fists.

"That was a mistake; I wasn't in my right mind," you said, clenching your teeth in rage. That boy was driving you crazy.

From behind him, you recognized Casey, walking on the field, already out of her Quidditch robes and holding her broom with just one hand. You knew that was your way out.

"Fine, blame it on the butterbeer," he sighed, "if it's what makes you sleep at night."

"What makes you think, Weasley," you paused, stepping closer to the end of the stands and closer to the ginger, "that I think about you at night?" you raised your tone involuntarily, letting your emotions get the best of you.

"Your body language, for one, Duff," Fred smirked again, feeling his win just because you were getting out of control.

Last time you were raged like that you had kissed him, so perhaps it could happen again.

But the nickname set you back. You were still bitter, but now you remembered why — it was because of that shallow nickname and that stupid boy.

You turned around and stepped away, to the end of the stands. You needed to get out of there as fast as you could.

"See you around too, Duff," you heard Fred shouted, but you didn't dare look back.

Casey met you at the end of the stairs, where a bunch of Gryffindors were crossing paths with the Ravenclaws leaving.

"Was that Fred Weasley? Talking to you?" was the first thing Casey asked when you were close to her enough to hear.

"Yep," you sighed, still tense because of your conversation.

"Godric! Is he hot in his Quidditch uniform!" she gasped, but different from you, she had that romantic, girly look on her face again. It made you wanna vomit.

"Please, Cass, you can find someone hotter than him," you protested, frowning.

"Someone hotter doesn't take Fred's hotness away," she argued, raising a brow towards you. She was messing with you, of course, but knowing it didn't make it easier. She didn't know about the kiss, so for all purposes' sake, she still thought you would never even touch him.

"Can't you just pine over — hmm, I don't — George Weasley, his twin?" you said, sarcastically. "If you think Fred's hot, George is too, and I'm pretty sure he's a better person."

"Too vanilla," she replied as if it proved her point.

"How would you know?" you asked, but couldn't help but burst in laughter with her, both very sure this conversation wasn't going anywhere.

Casey was right again. Not about George being vanilla — that you couldn't be sure, being that you had never talked to the chap. You couldn't manage to say more than three words to George, his presence always made you kinda weak in the knees.

But George didn't know about it, and neither did your best friends, and you intend in leaving thing at that. George was kind of your platonic crush, it was healthy to have one (probably), and he was never cross that line.

Funny, huh, how George made you feel starstruck, and Fred made you wanna kill yourself.

The thing Casey was right was about Fred being hot and charming. He was appearing more times than often in your mind, and for the rest of the week, he no longer popped as a replay of a kiss. Fred was appearing in your mind as new sexy scenarios, things a deep part of you wanted to experiment. And apparently, with him. Yikes.

You tried to convince yourself that those scenarios were with George (had happened before) but, at this point, you knew how to differentiate the two very well. And, deep down, you knew who was the ginger biting your neck and intertwining his legs in yours.

And that infuriated your guts.

"You did that for what?"

Your question echoed to the Great Hall, with a dozen of heads turning to what the little show you were putting on.

It was not your intention to make a scene, but, at that moment, you were more enraged than you'd ever been your whole life. Casey was your best friend, and you knew sometimes she was bold for the greater good, but you doubted that doing what she did was for the greater good.

Because you were feeling like shit.

She had intercepted your owl with your mom's letter about your father's condition. Casey had observed that you were ignoring your mom's messages — last night she went to your dorm room with Jess for a girls night, and ended up finding accidentally a box packed with the parchments unopen.

So she planned on getting your owl before it dropped its letter over you and she managed to sit next to you and starting reading it aloud, without telling you what she was reading.

It was only when she got to the second line of the thing — "they say they are doing everything they can and they don't want to raise our hopes, because his chance of recovery is almost none"— that you realized that it was your mom's words.

You got so angry as never before, shouting at Casey to shut up, and without overthinking, you cast a fire spell on the thing. Thankfully she dropped the parchment before it burned her hands, but that doesn't mean that she didn't get angry at you too.

Jess watched and came closer, trying to find words to say, but she didn't know what was happening and she didn't want to side with anyone.

You felt the urge to cry, but, not in hell, you were doing it in front of the whole school. You gathered your bag and ran out of that place, not looking back — even though Casey was screaming "I'm sorry", and Jessica was asking you to wait.

"Hey, wait up," a voice called, this time it didn't belong to a girl.

You froze at your spot, your feet slowly turning to face the boy following you in the empty hallway. Traitors, you wanted to say to your feet.

"Not now, Weasley," you said, trying hard to look away, but once his dark eyes met yours, you just couldn't bring yourself to walk away.

"Then, when? You need to talk," he pointed out, taking his hands out of his pockets, not yet breaking the eye contact. It was like he knew that he looking at you was the only thing keeping you there.

"You heard the show, huh."

"Just saw you, angrily walking away," he said while you nervously grabbed your bag's handle. "Thankfully, there was no butterbeer in your hands."

His attempt to joke went not as smoothly as he expected. You faced your shoes, biting your lip with the stupid idea that popped in your mind. You knew what you planned wasn't right.

But when he stepped towards you, it felt natural.

"Just shut up, Weasley," you said, before getting on your tiptoes and leaning in to kiss him.

He was surprised, again, but this time he was quick to respond and somehow smarter — he grabbed your waist and guided you to a door that only he knew existed in that hallway.

It was a broom closet, probably the brooms first-years use to train flying.

This time there was no inhibition. Fred's mouth in yours was not going to be enough to forget you fighting with Casey and your mom's words about your dad. You needed more. Thankfully, Fred Weasley was more than pleased to serve, fastly taking your white shirt off while you unbuttoned his pants.

"Are you sure of this, Duff?" he asked before pulling your black skirt up.

"I said shut up, Weasley," you reminded him, in a bossy tone. And in case he tried to open his mouth again, you locked it with yours.

Things were worse than ever before.

After Casey's episode, you hadn't talked to her ever since. She tried, the first few days, but she saw you were ignoring her and with time, she gave up. Jess attempted to convince you to talk to Casey, and for that, you started ignoring Jess too.

Your grades weren't getting better any time soon — Professor Snape was now no longer the only one complaining to you about it. Thankfully, the other Professors were more understanding about it than Severus — the school knew about your father situation.

Oh, yeah. About your parents: since Casey attempt to read you a letter, you haven't touched one yet. And you weren't going to do it anytime soon.

The only person you were hanging out with — by Merlin, you never thought that would happen — was Fred Weasley.

It was easygoing with him because there wasn't much talking to do. He knew better than to ask you anything related to your personal life — even though he tried, a lot.

You two would meet primarily at the Room of Requirement — it usually provided a bed for you, so that was more comfortable than any broom closet. If he ever attempted to make conversation, you'd shut him up with your lips and locking your fingers in his hair — that was his soft spot for sure.

You noticed he was trying to be your friend, more than just a hookup because he was lately scheduling your meetings in places where more people were around — therefore you couldn't just kiss him.

Today, you two were meeting after his Quidditch practice. In his defence, you had indeed mentioned how hot after-trainings sex could be, and that was, probably, where he got the idea.

You were waiting for him in the ground leaned in the entrance to the stairs to the stands, laughing with yourself, because, not long ago, when he mentioned you waiting for him at the Quidditch field, you thought the idea was absurd.

"There he is," you said, placing your hands in the back pockets of your jeans, walking side by side with a just showered Fred Weasley.

"You came."

"You said for me to come," you replied, tilting your head towards him and chuckling. It wasn't like you and any other places to be, but he didn't need to know.

"Hey, Fred, what are we..." started George, rushing to Fred's side and gasping at the notice of you. "Oh, hey, y/n."

So nice to have a Weasley calling you by your name instead of the stupid "duff" thing Fred seemed to love.

But that was George — the George Weasley — and all you managed to do was blush and nervously say hello back.

"Well, brother, got do something with y/n first, but, later, we can..."

"— don't bother with me! I'm sure we can hang out the three of us," you interrupted Fred, glad this time you didn't stutter.

Fred practically spat out a laugh, looking at you like you were crazy. "We? With my own twin?"

You pushed Fred by the shoulder, disgusted by the bullshit he had suggested.

"We can change our plans," you elaborated. "That's what I meant, Fred."

George's eyes went from you to Fred, not sure of what to say next. He didn't know what was going on between the two of you — you'd threatened Fred that you'd kill the whole Weasley family if he decided to say something.

"Are you sure? Fred and I can do the prank later."

"It's a prank? Then count me in!" you smiled, pushing Fred's shoulder again. "Why didn't you tell me?"

There was one exact reason why Fred didn't tell you — it's because you weren't interested, especially in personal stuff and principally in pranks.

"Wow, y/n, I reckon I've never seen you so excited," George commented, smiling.

The three of you started walking away from the Quidditch field while Fred mumbled something about him being the reason for your excitement — for that you replied with pinching his left arm.

You had never laughed so hard in your life. Fred, George and you were sitting on the floor of the empty library, leaning your backs against a dusty shelf in the dark corner of the room.

"Did you see his face?" George giggled, placing a hand over his chest where his heart was beating extra fast.

All of the hearts there were beating fast.

It was almost midnight, and by the school rules, you three should be in bed, but the amount of enthusiasm you were feeling was convincing you being a reckless student wasn't so bad.

You were sitting in the middle of the twins, your hands tossed on the floor — the left one just a couple of centimetres away from Fred's. He was watching you, paying very close attention at how the red slowly painted your face back, since it had been white because of all the running from Filch to not get caught.

"Thanks for tagging me along," you said, with a small smile, looking at George.

"Anytime," George said, thinking it was the right thing to do. "You're fun to be around. I see why you wanted to hang out with her, Freddie."

You would've teased Fred about the silly nickname if it wasn't gonna ruin the beautiful moment you and George were having.

Fred watched his twin and you, giggling with each other, talking about random funny stuff related to Argo Filch, but he couldn't hear the conversation quite well. He could only focus on how you were leaning towards George, and how, involuntarily, your hand ran away from his.

"Well, chaps, I've gotta keep going," George announced, getting up and shaking the dust out of his clothes. You pouted, saddened by the departure of your favourite twin.

Fred didn't even breathe, scared that would make his brother want to stay. It wasn't like he was addicted to you — Godric, no! — but he was really looking forward to spending some time with you. Just with you.

"So soon?" you replied, noticing that one prank and you now could speak perfectly well with George. You had no idea why it became uncomplicated, but spending time with him only made you notice what you already knew — he's very different from Fred. "See you later, then."

"See ya," George then turned around and walked out of the library, making sure he wasn't being heard.

As soon as George was away, Fred turned to you, using his hand to bring you face towards him. You allowed it, not really having much choice when he touched you like that.

"Why did want to prank with us?" he asked, looking straight into your eyes.

You shrugged, saying nothing. But something in your expression — maybe the quick thought of George — gave you away.

"George," Fred sighed, surprisingly angry, but not enough for you to notice. His hand fell from your face to his side. "You like him."

"Puff! What? No. What?"

Yeah, your reaction wasn't the best. But Fred shrugged, letting his jealous side hide and acting like a jerk because it was so much easier than caring.

"Are you only with me because I look like him?" he asked, making sure his tone sounded like he was playing with you instead of really curious.

"No!" you replied, faster than you expected. "First of all, I'm not with you. Secondly, no, Freddie," — you used the nickname to mess with him — "I didn't pick you because of George. I picked you because you were there."

Fred stayed in silence, absorbing your answer.

You were suddenly lost in your thoughts, remembering that first kiss not so long ago. And then you remembered all of those lonely nights at the Three Broomsticks, where your only companies were Rosmerta and... Fred.

"You are always there."

"Yeah," Fred sighed, not sure of what you meant with that. However, he was still in jerk mode, and for that, his hand flew back to touch you, this time choosing more sensitive regions, like your belly, particularly, above the waistband of your jeans, a place that Fred had already learned to be one of your weak spots. "So, is now when you're doing what we had scheduled to do?"

You turned to face him, making it easier for him to reach your abdomen.

"Do you only think about that?"

He pretended to be thoughtful.

"Yes."

It came as a hell of a surprise when you were called to the Headmaster's office. You had been doing nothing — aside from escapades with Fred, and trying to get back to your studies, you haven't been doing much — so you didn't stall to see why they needed you.

You were even more surprised when the person awaiting fro you in the office was your mom.

"Hi, sweetie," she tried to smile but failed.

You didn't move since you opened the door and saw her, because her visit probably meant something you didn't want to be true.

"Is he dead?"

"What, sweetie? What did you say?" she asked.

"Dad. Is he...?" you whispered again, not brave enough to say it too loud.

"Oh, Merlin, no! That's why I'm here, actually. He called for you yesterday," she explained, stepping closer to you since you haven't been moving. "I sent you a letter, but you didn't reply, and I was so anxious..."

"Father called me? He said my name?" you were shocked because last time you saw him, he had no idea who you were.

"Yes, sweetie. I guess he remembers you," she smiled. "And me," she added.

"Can I see him?" you were fighting tears at this point.

"Of course, sweetie! That's why I'm here," she smiled, and opened her arms, knowing very well that all you wanted to do was bury your face on her chest, just like when you were little and scared. But this time, all you felt was happiness.

Returning to Hogwarts was hard. Not because you were sad — Merlin, that had been your best weekend ever! You father was almost completely recovered, although now and then he was saying some gibberish.

It was hard to come back because you wished you'd stayed longer with your dad, but your mom knew you needed to finish your school year before anything else.

A conversation that you had with your father kept replaying in your mind since you walked in the school. It was before you left when he encouraged you to enjoy your life because he wished he had enjoyed his more — especially when he thought he was dying, having Death Eaters play with his mind.

So when you saw George in the hallway, you knew you had to do something about your whole starstruck situation.

"Hey!" you called him.

"Hi, y/n," he faced you, a smile appearing in his lips. "Haven't seen you all weekend."

"I had to be away. Dad's stuff," you really didn't want to tell him about it right there. "Anyway... I don't know how to say this, but I've been feeling incredibly confident lately, so here it goes... Would you like to go on a date with me?"

You had no idea how you manage to say it. Perhaps pranking someone together does change a person, but while you waited for his reply, George didn't seem so hard to talk to.

"You want to go out... with me?" he played with his hair while saying it.

"Yep," you gulped, suddenly regretting you recently discovered confidence.

"Okay," he frowned for a second before smiling lightly. "Three Broomsticks, Wednesday?"

"Perfect. See you there?"

He shook his head in response, then turned and walked away. You stayed there, expecting a wave of happiness to come, but it never did. That's odd, you thought, before heading to your dorm, which, weirdly enough, you had missed.

When you pushed the door open, you saw the two figures sitting on your bed, as if they had been waiting for you for a long time. Jess and Casey looked at you as you walked n, with sympathetic smiles on their faces.

"What are you two doing here?" you asked, but you weren't mad. Just curious.

You had missed them too.

"I'm here to apologize. Should've done it sooner, but you didn't allow me," said Casey, getting up and stepping closer to you. "I now know your father is better, but you were right, that letter could have something horrible written on it and had no right reading it."

You stared at her, unconsciously reaching for her hand, anxious to meet her hot touch again. You were still happy, of course, but that talk made you bit sentimental.

"I'm sorry, y/n," she said, allowing you to hug her and hugging you back in the way only she knew how. Jess jumped out of bed and embraced the two of you; although you couldn't see her face, you'd bet she was smiling and crying at the same time.

The three of you stayed like that for a while.

"But, thank Merlin, he's okay now," Casey continued, slowly pulling away from the group hug.

"How do you..."

"Fred told us," said Jess, sitting back on your bed and suggesting you two did the same.

"Fred? Fred Weasley? How did he know?" you were completely startled.

"He asked about you. The three of us were confused because, well, he was right, nobody had seen you," Jess explained. "Long story short, McGonagall told him about your dad, and he told us."

You gulped, taking in that new information. Fred worried about you, that was new. Well, you did leave with no warning, but for a not-a-friend with benefits, you never consider he would care if you disappeared.

"Did he say anything else?" you rounded, suddenly worried he could have told them about your little escapades.

"Should him? Your father is okay, right?" Casey entered a worried-mom mood, and Jess seemed to be concerned too.

"My father is getting better, yes," you replied, but now it was too late. They were curious, you sighed, knowing very well that, as your best friends, they had all the right to know what was going on. "I may — or may not — have started a no-strings-attached relationship with Fred Weasley."

"You did what??" Casey widened her eyes towards you.

You spend half an hour explaining to the girls what was going on in your sex life, and they were good listeners, never interrupting unless you paused. You missed those girly talks so much that you wondered how you managed to spend weeks not talking to them.

"Wait. But your date for Wednesday is George?" asked Jess, clearly confused with the end of your story.

"I never had the guts before," you said, remembering how only the idea of asking George out would've made you weak in the knees a year ago.

"But you like Fred," she stated, convinced she was correct.

"What? No. Why did you...? Merlin, no," you rambled. You thought you had made it clear that being around Fred longer than necessary made your stomach sick and everything.

Jess and Casey exchanged looks as if they knew something you didn't.

"Fred's repugnant. He still calls me Duff, can you believe it? I mean, 'hello, honey, if I'm such the disgusting, ugly friend, why do you sleep with me?' " you said, laughing with yourself, imagining you facing Fred and telling him that. But the girls kept with their suspicious stares. "I did explain what is Duff, right?"

"You did," said Casey.

"Still not convinced you don't like Fred, though," added Jess, raising a brow towards you.

"I don't! Besides, now, I don't need him. I'm going on a date with his brother, and my father is fine. I have no worries," you reminded them, getting up from your bed. "Well, maybe one problem. I still need better grades."

"That I can help," said Casey, allowing her nerdy Ravenclaw shine.

You tried to corner Fred the whole Tuesday, but he seemed to be nowhere to be found, until after dinner, when you approached him when he was leaving. Thankfully, he was alone.

"So you are back," he said, looking you up and down in that way that only he knew. You looked around the hallway, scared that students leaving the Great Hall could hear you two talking, so you gesticulated for him to follow you to the broom closet — coincidently, where it all started was going to be its end too.

"Fred, we need to talk," you said, closing the door behind you and trying to find the light switch.

"You finally realized?" he sounded hopeful, with a playful smile on his lips.

"Realized what?"

He was set back with your response. Fred was thinking of something else when he asked you that, but he wasn't going to let you win. Although you really didn't have any idea what he was talking about.

"Realized you can't live without me."

"HA! Very funny, Weasley," you said, rolling your eyes.

He stepped closer to you, expecting you to do what you generally did in that closet, and, even though, his perfume made you lose your senses for a second (that didn't use to happen before, did it?).

"Well, I brought you here because... You see, we aren't doing this anymore," you swallowed after saying it — it was as if a knife was held in your neck.

He leaned in, looking down at you. His playful smile was long gone.

"You want to do it the right way. I get it," he said, pressing his lips together for a pause. "We could just jump to the fun part."

"Fun part? There isn't a...", but you weren't able to finish. His lips met yours mid-phrase, and as usual, you couldn't care about anything else but his lips.

What was the thing I need to tell him? Never mind now.

Your hands were playing with his hair, but something was different this time. There was still an urge — one that shouldn't be there, giving that you had no problems to forget right now — but you two were acting slowly, appreciating every touch.

When with Fred, you never felt ashamed of your body, but somehow this time you were very self-conscious, afraid that he wouldn't like you. Which was stupid — he had been... with you for too long to now started caring about your form.

What you didn't know what was that, if anything, he was finding you even more beautiful tonight, with the weak light of the closet highlighting every gorgeous curve of your body.

While you two undressed (with his lips away from yours), you were able to remember you shouldn't be there, snogging him and well, about to do other things with him. You had gone there to end this thing.

You sighed, too perplexed at the view of the ginger boy's body. The light was also highlighting his best spots.

A good-bye, you concluded with yourself. You were allowing yourself one last night, before staying away from Fred.

And if it was going to be a good-bye, you were sure you wanted to make it the best yet.

When you asked George out, he had been puzzled, and really scared of what to do next.

You had never jumbled him with Fred before — and after spending so much time with his twin doing Merlin knows what he expected you to never do it.

He thought it was rather cute that you took the first step and asked Fred out. Well, you did confuse the twin, but George assumed you probably were too nervous with your own feelings.

So using his best "hey, brother, this is gonna sound funny" voice, he went to find Fred to tell him that he had a date with the girl he had pining over for the last month.

George had never seen Fred say no to other girls, neither had George seen Fred stay in the castle for a Friday night, then a skip a Hogsmeade trip. You had changed Fred, even though George was sure Fred had not noticed it yet.

"What is it, George?" Fred asked, anxious to leave and meet you, no matter where you could be. He had heard that you had just got back in the castle and he just... he wanted to make sure you were alright.

"y/n, she... well," George nervously giggled. "She mixed us. She thought I was you."

"Really?" Fred was not expecting at this stage for you to mix him with his brother.

"Yeah, and hm, this is funny," George gulped before continuing. "I think she asked you out. On a date."

"She what??"

"Yeah, I guess she was on a rush, because of her father, and she said something about feeling confident," George went on. "Anyway, I said yes because I knew you'd have said yes. It's Wednesday. At the Three Broomsticks."

Fred stared at his brother as if he had solved all the problems in the world.

"She really did that?"

George shook his head yes and pointed out: "Don't mention she mixed us. It will probably make her feel worse."

"Are you sure she thought you were me?" Fred asked, overthinking it.

"Well, of course. Why else would y/n ask me out?"

You had to borrow a foundation from Jess (your skin tones were not so similar, but it was enough) because on the last night, Fred had exaggerated a little.

He never left a mark on his body, but yesterday he had overcome himself. As the brush rubbed the foundation on your neck, you remembered the night before.

"You are mine, Duff," he said, between one hickey and another. "Just mine."

Unintentionally, you lost yourself in thought, your mind continuing its replay from the night before, as you brushed your sensitive skin.

"Only I can make you feel this way; only my touch makes you shiver," whispered Fred, and incredibly, it was true. But he was Fred, and it couldn't go on.

So when it was over, and you both were too tired, you got dressed and stared at him, knowing what was coming next.

"Thank you, Fred, seriously. For everything," he watched you as you gulped nervously. "But this really can't go on. I have a date tomorrow."

"I know."

You were about to leave, but you immediately turned, facing him with wide eyes.

"You asked George out. I know," he seemed sad. And you have never seen Fred sad before. You wanted to do something, but what could you do really?

"Fred, I..."

"Look, you had your good-bye, y/n. You can get out now," Fred said. "Go hide. It's what you do, right?"

"Hey, don't turn this on me!"

"Somehow, this is my fault?" Fred asked while putting on his pants. Although angry, he didn't seem scary. "What you want me to do, y/n? I'm the jackass womanizer, aren't I? Go get the better twin."

"Fred Weasley!" you shouted his name, trying to shut him up. "We were never a couple; don't act as if you care now! Don't act like you're jealous!"

"Why? Because I can't be jealous of you? I can't care about you?" he shouted back.

"Care about me? You call me Duff, Weasley. All the damn time! How am I supposed to know you care about me if you keep reminding me how ugly, fat and disgusting I am?"

Silence fell upon the two of you.

That was the knife in your neck all along. The stupid nickname, it all came back to it. Fred had no idea how much power that nickname had over you.

"I never meant it that way, y/n," he said, gulping slowly.

"No?" you asked sarcastically. "Really? I remember you telling me I have hotter friends."

"But that was before!" he protested.

"Before what?" you asked, but his reply never came. The words he couldn't say died in his chest — buried forever. "See you around, Weasley, " you said, before opening the door and leaving, without looking back.

You shook your head, slowly coming back to reality. The hickeys were enough hidden. It didn't look perfect, but the Three Broomsticks had terrible lighting, so it would be okay.

You wanted to stay in, curled up in bed, playing in repeat your good-bye, and blame yourself for that sadness in your chest, but you were too embarrassed to dump George.

The place was crowded — Hogwarts older students were practically all there, having the time of their lives on the dance floor. You wished George could never find you, so you went to the counter to hide behind a mug of butterbeer.

"Hey there, pretty," said Madam Rosmerta, who have missed you all those nights without you. "Butterbeer?"

"You know it," you said, about to throw her a coin when someone pressed a hand on your shoulder.

"Make it two," he said, and he didn't even need to speak to you know who it was. That cheap perfume was going to be the death of you. "It's on me," he told you, tossing his own coin to Rosmerta who disappeared to get the mugs.

"He's not coming," he added a second later, hating the silence around you two.

"I figured it. When I saw you," you explained, gulping.

Rosmerta brought two mugs back, and both of you took a sip from it, unsure of what to say next.

It wasn't like you two fought last night because you hated each other. In fact, it was probably the complete opposite, but both looked like stupid cowards, afraid of your own feelings.

"Look, I..." he started, but you interrupted him, placing your hand on his arm over the counter.

"Let me say this first," you said, locking your eyes on his. "I shouldn't have asked your twin out. Even if we were just friends; what I did was a jerk move."

"You liked him first," Fred pointed out, trying to defend you from yourself.

You chuckled. "Oh, Merlin, no. I thought he had a pretty face," you explained, tilting your head towards him, and he understood your joke right away, joining in the laughter. "And he seemed like a nice guy. Like, huh, I thought he could treat me nicely," you looked away from his big eyes, facing the shelves with liquor.

"But?"

"What?" you asked him, turning to face him once again.

"I feel like there was a 'but'."

You smiled.

"But you also have a pretty face, and recently, you've come to treat me nice too," you said, and he pressed his lips together while slowly shaking his head up and down. "Well, actually, if it's just between you and me, your face is prettier."

He raised his brows. "Is it?"

"And your body too," you added, just to make him smile.

"Is mine bigger?" he asked, back to his normal joker self.

You pushed him lightly by the shoulder, not hard enough for him to fall off the stool.

"Never saw his, sorry," you decided to tease, and you both giggled.

"I'm sorry. About the Duff thing and all," he said, swallowing. "I kept the nickname because I thought it was cute. If I knew it bothered you so much, I'd have stopped. And I wouldn't have used it during sex."

"I'm okay with it now, I guess," you said. "It wasn't that bad hearing it during sex if I'm honest."

You tilted your head to the left, biting your tongue to not laugh because it was not funny. But Fred just had a way to ease your mood.

You thought silence was going to hunt you two again when Fred spoke.

"Is this the part where you admit you have feelings for me?" he smirked, placing his hands on your knees, relaxing you even more.

"Maybe," you chuckled. "Is this the part where you admit you have feelings for me?"

"Yes," he said, surprising you. "I have feelings for you."

"Well, I have feelings for you too, Freddie," you smiled, passing your fingers through his strong arms.

"You're not gonna forget that nickname, are you?" he faced away while asking.

"Nope."

"Fine by me, Duff," he replied, messing with you too. He then leaned closer, pressing his lips on yours, and it didn't take long for his hands to find your waist and bring you as closer to him as the stools allowed.

"But we are going slower this time, Weasley," you warned, parting your lips for just a second.

He smiled in the kiss.

"It's always better that way," he replied, probably remembering the soft, slow sex from last night because you were sure remembering that too.

You slapped his arm just strong enough for him to pout, but you kept kissing him anyway. When you two kissed, nothing else mattered— it was only the two of you in the world.

#fred weasley #fred weasley x reader #fred weasley x y/n #fred weasley x slytherin!reader #fred weasley x ravenclaw!reader #fred weasley x hufflepuff!reader #fred weasley x gryffindor!reader #george weasley #Fred and George Weasley #Fred and George #george weasley x reader #harry potter #the duff

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raph-and-spike · 4 years

Text

My Hero - Mikey x fem!reader

requested? yes/no

“Well i just found your blog and im super excited to see where this goes! My request is April has a cousin the turtles have heard of but never met and before they finally do she warns them that shes a little reserved, keeps to herself but over time when she warms up shes super dorky and like mikey? Idk if that makes sense. Just some fluffy michelangelo x reader 😅”

a/n: My first request! I was sooo excited for this one! I kinda took it in a different direction, but I tried to keep it as close to your request as possible. I can’t wait to write all of the other requests you guys have sent me!

warnings: none :)

“Oh my God, that movie was crazy!” April exclaimed.

You had just moved back to New York two weeks prior, and your favorite redheaded cousin invited you to see a movie with her and her boyfriend friend, Casey–much to his dismay–which you’d been thankful for; April was the only person you knew at school.

As someone who tended to keep to yourself, April was aware of your anti-social tendencies, and she’d do everything to avoid it. She was determined to make New York City actually feel like home.

“Eh,” Casey shrugged. “It was alright. I don’t really see the hype.”

April rolled her eyes. “Don't pretend that we didn’t see you jump at all the jump-scares, Casey.”

Casey grinned. “You paying attention that closely to me, Red? You must like me or something.”

You couldn’t help but giggle as you watched the two bicker back and forth.

“Shut it, Jones,” she rolled her eyes.

A crash behind you made the three of you jump and turn around instinctively. Though, nothing could be visible.

“What the hell was that?” you muttered to yourself. The eery streets of the city at night had yet to make you feel welcome.

Suddenly, what had looked like slender robots in black robes began sprinting toward you three, jumping out behind trash cans and street corners. Your heart sank to your stomach at the scene in front of you, your body frozen in shock.

“Footbots!” April screamed, exchanging looks with Casey. “Casey, get Y/n back home, I’ll handle them!”

Casey raised his eyebrows. “What?! No way, Red! You go home with Y/n, I’ll handle it.” He grabbed one of his hockey sticks and charged at the Footbots, leaving you not knowing what to do.

April grabbed what looked like a steel fan from her pocket and began fighting as well; it was a sight you never thought you’d ever see.

“Y/n, run!” April shouted over the sounds of steel against steel, and hockey sticks against cement.

You began running in the opposite direction of the chaos, in the direction of your home. Though it’d take about another ten minutes to get there, you were eager to do anything you had to get away from what you'd just witnessed.

You weren’t able to get far before one of the robots appeared in front of you, causing you to stumble back onto the cement. Your eyes wide with fear, staring at the huge being towering over you with a sword in hand. As it raised its sword, a blade sliced across its torso with a quickness you would have missed if you weren’t watching so intently. As the robot’s body fell in half onto the pavement in front of you, another being with green skin and a blue mask appeared, holding the katana that had saved your life.

“Woah,” was all you could manage, staring at it. Green speckled skin, a plastron and a shell...was it a turtle?

It left, fighting off the rest of the bots with three more that looked just like it, all with different colored masks and different weapons. Your heart was racing, you could feel your body pulsating with the very beat of your heart as the fight ensued.

“Guys,” one of them spoke up. “Splinter’s not gonna be too happy about another human knowing about us.”

They can talk?

The four turtles and your two friends looked your way as your eyes rolled back and you felt your head hit the pavement before falling into unconsciousness.

You woke up in your bed, your redheaded cousin sitting at the foot of your bed. You groaned, your hand going to the back of your head where gauze had been placed.

“Y/n,” April began, her voice soft. “We need to talk.”

“What happened last night?” you moaned, your vision spinning as the pain in the back of your head increased.

She grabbed a glass of water on your nightstand and handed it to you.

“Here,” she kept her hands on your own to ensure that you were holding it tight enough, tipping it back as you gulped.

She stared down at her fingers, fumbling with them. This was a nervous habit you’d remembered your cousin having for as long as you could remember. But why would she be nervous, you thought to yourself.

“Last night–”

“I saw something,” you interrupted. “Or some things,” you corrected, goosebumps rising along your arms as you thought about the turtles.

April sighed. “I know.”

You furrowed your eyebrows. “What exactly were they? And what was attacking us?”

And so she began.

She told you everything; the turtles, Master Splinter, Shredder, the Kraang, mutagen. It was a moment of trust, a moment of trusting in one of her favorite people–one of the only people she had left.

“And now that you’re going to be living here,” April began.

“Then I should learn how to defend myself,” you finished for her.

She nodded, letting out a sympathetic sigh. “I’m so sorry for dragging you into this.”

You shook your head, grabbing her hands to hold within your own. “’United we stand, divided we fall’,” you quoted, a quote both your parents had said to you multiple times as children. “If you need another addition to your army, then count me in.”

As you both walked through the tunnels of the sewers, you kept your nose plugged.

“Does the smell get any better?” you groaned.

She nodded. “You get used to it; I had to live down here for a few weeks.”

You nearly gagged at the thought, before entering the lair.

There they were, once again. The red masked one was punching a large punching bag, the blue masked one was sitting in front of a television whilst the orange masked one sat next to him, pizza in hand. Pizza?! The fourth one was nowhere in sight.

April gestured. “Y/n, these are the turtles,” she pointed to the red masked one, “that’s Raph,” she pointed to the blue masked one, “Leo,” she pointed to the orange masked one, “Mikey,” she paused, looking around.

“Where’s Don-”

“Hi, April!” a voice exclaimed, nearly scurrying over to you both with a blush painted on his cheeks.

She rolled her eyes playfully. “And, that’s Donnie.”

Supposedly, after getting permission to bring you to the lair from Master Splinter, she’d warned them that you were coming.

Leo looked over, his eyes finally peeling away from his show with a smile. “How’s your head feeling?” he asked, walking toward you.

You shrugged, gently blushing at the sudden attention. “It’s, uh, better now, but I don't think I hit it too hard to begin with.”

“Actually,” Donnie spoke, “the impact wasn’t enough to cause a lot of bleeding, but it'll be bruised for the next couple of days.”

You frowned. “W-were you the one who took care of my head?”

He nodded, invisible eyebrows furrowed in query.

“Oh, thanks,” you said softly, “it’s healing really fast.”

He blushed, about to say something in return before his orange-masked brother interrupted him by running up to you.

“Well,” Mikey began, “I was the one who saved you a slice of pizza!”

The gang groaned in disgust; the slice of pizza had lint, worms, and an undetectable bug species sitting on top of the cheese.

“Mikey, did you get that from under your bed?!” Leo scoffed.

Mikey smirked. “Mayybeee,” he eyed the slice. “It’s still good though, I think.”

He grinned at you, but could see the disgust in your appearance. He hung his head. “I guess I’ll just eat it,” he sighed.

You felt horrible, but in all honesty, the sight alone made your stomach churn.

“Y/n,” you heard, distracting you from the moldy pizza.

You looked up, seeing the one and only Master Splinter. He looked completely different than how you’d pictured him in your head; he was much taller than you expected. He walked closer to you, until you were just feet apart.

“April has told me a lot about you,” he began, his voice soothing to the ear. “I hope that you fulfill my wish to keep my sons and I a secret.”

You nodded. “Of course, urm, Master Splinter.”

He nodded, before calling the turtles to train with him.

“See you latah, Dudette,” Mikey bid with a wink, before running off to train with his brothers.

April looked at you, an eyebrow cocked at the deep blush on your cheeks.

“What?” you asked shyly.

“Nothing, Dudette,” April mocked with a grin.

You began to spend multiple days of the week at the lair with April and Casey, even bringing your homework down there after school; Master Splinter offered to train you, and you obliged. Mikey would be over your shoulder, asking you questions about your homework even after Leo had told him to give you some personal space.

But you began to feel comfortable with the turtles, and you started to open up and reveal your personality.

“Hey Mikey,” you announced, walking up to him in the kitchen. “Want to go train with me?”

You could have sworn that his pupils grew the size of bowling balls, and he was there with his nunchucks in no time.

You began training with the turtles, almost always with Mikey, though he refused to fight back or hit you. You’d share a pizza after, watch television, and eventually take a nap before he’d have to leave for patrol.

“You’re getting so good, Dudette!” he exclaimed after training, shoveling pizza slices into his mouth.

You blushed. “Thanks, Mikey...” You rolled your eyes as you watched him finish the box to himself. “Do we really have to eat pizza everyday?”

“Yesss,” he said in a sing-song voice. “I love days like this; it’s my two favorite things!”

You furrowed your eyebrows. “What?”

“You and pizza, duh!”

Your cheeks heated up, and you pressed a kiss onto his green freckled cheek.

“Thanks, Mikey. You know, if it weren't for you and your brothers saving me from those Footbots, then I wouldn't even be here,” you pointed out.

He grinned. “That makes me, like, a hero!”

You planted a kiss onto his lips, causing him to nearly melt into the floor.

“My hero,” you corrected.

#tmnt 2k12 #tmnt 2012 #tmnt x reader #tmnt 2012 x reader #teenage mutant ninja turtles x reader #michelangelo hamato #michelangelo x reader

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kurlyfrasier · 3 years

Text

Terrified: Part 2

Raph x Reader

Synopsis: Raph saves you from ruffians one night in an alley after watching out for you for weeks without you knowing. Which leads you to getting to know the guys and becoming part of the family. But Raph keeps a distance and you don’t understand why.

Word Count: 1465

Warnings: None

You peeked out between your fingers- curled up on the cold ground- and saw the one responsible for the smelly, fallen men surrounding you. Their grunts and groans of pain deaf to your ears.

All you heard was his deep, rapid breaths several feet away.

All you saw was his truck-like frame walking back to you.

All you felt were his arms picking you up and holding you close to his massive, hard chest.

You wondered if the shell was permanent or part of a costume.

“Are ya hurt?” His voice was severe, making you flinch- his Brooklyn accent didn’t help matters, causing him to sound more thug-like. He didn’t even look at you as he walked. Not one glance. Not that it mattered, you had seen those green eyes flash in fury when he shoved you to the ground earlier. “I’m takin’ ya ta Donnie. He’s gonna make sure yer okay.”

You didn’t say a word. You couldn’t. Your voice was stuck in your throat when you opened your mouth to say thanks. Any other time you were nervous your voice had a mind of its own, but no, not when a big, hulking, kind-hearted guy saved your life. So, giving up, you closed your eyes and rested your head on his chest, succumbing to sleep as you let him take you to this Donnie person. Not that you could have stopped him even if you wanted to. You had the feeling this guy would do what he wanted, no matter what anybody said. He seemed the type.

Your eyes opened to darkness, but you were comfortable on what felt like a giant bean bag, a thin blanket rested on top of you.

Where were you?

You sat up, not realizing you startled someone awake, and searched the darkness as your heart rate picked up.

“It’s okay,” a deep, husky voice said and you let out a sigh, recognizing the voice. He hadn’t left you.

“Yer okay,” he whispered, sounding relieved.

“Where am I?” You asked hesitantly. You didn’t want to anger him, worried he might hurt you if you do. Earlier you had felt so safe in his arms, but now you were in a dark, unknown place with someone you knew could cause pain if he wished.

“Home,” he replied, still quiet. “Not that it’s much, but it suits us.”

“And, um, Donnie?” You asked, unsure if this person had ‘checked you’ yet.

“Donnie?” He growled out.

“S-sorry!” You squeaked out, slinking back under the blanket. “You said something about him on the way here is all.”

“Oh, yeah,” he said in a much calmer voice. “He didn’t find any injuries, but he wants to talk ta ya when ya up for it to make sure ya didn’t hit yer head.

“I’m ready now,” you stated hopefully, curious to see who this guy was. Was he a doctor?

“Watch yer eyes,” he said as you heard light footsteps move further away from you. “I’ll turn on the lights.”

You squeezed your eyes shut until the lights came on. Opening them, you searched for the familiar hulking form, wanting a better look, but he was gone. Instead you found yourself in a large, domed room along with furniture made of old pizza boxes. Your face scrunched in confusion. There were no windows, but the large room was open, connected to equally large rooms on every side that had other rigged up furniture. Honestly, you weren’t really sure what you were seeing, or if any of it was real. Especially when a giant, freakishly tall, walking turtle walked in wearing a purple bandana across his eyes.

“Hey, I’m Donnie,” the creature said, sitting down on a makeshift stool next to you.

You stared in silence, wondering if this was all a dream. That maybe the guys in the alley weren’t actually real.

“Care if I ask a few questions?”

You nodded, eyes unblinking.

“Do you know your name?”

“Y/N”

“Okay, y/n, follow my finger.”

You did as he said, finding it odd he only had three, and answered his questions with ease, getting more comfortable with him by the minute. He even had you giggling a few times. Then he asked you if you could stand up.

“Yeah, but would you mind helping me off this thing?” You asked good-naturedly, feeling stuck in the bean bag, but also curious to know if his lean muscles were just as strong as the guy who saved you.

“Sure,” he chuckled before picking you up underneath your arms and setting you gently down on your feet with ease. You were in awe, not realizing you were holding onto his forearms for support. “I’m gonna let go now, okay?”

“Oh,” you removed your hands as if they were burned. “Sorry… Can I walk around?”

“Yeah, sure. You seem fine. No sign of a head injury. Want me to get Raph?”

“Raph?” You asked, not knowing who he was talking about.

“Yeah, my brother. The guy who brought you here.”

~~~~~~~~~~

Raph was listening in on everything Donnie and you said, like a coward he hid away where you couldn’t see him, but he could see you. He told himself he didn’t want to scare you with two giant, mutant freaks in the same room. He wanted to rip Donnie away from you the moment he picked you up. His jealousy got worse the longer you stood there staring up at him in awe.

It made him want to punch something. But at least you hadn’t screamed or passed out. That was something.

“I-Is he like you?” You asked quietly, looking at her feet.

“Yeah,” Donnie chuckled. “We all are. Well, except Master Splinter.”

“All?” Your head shot up in surprise.

“Yeah, there’s four of us. My brothers and I. Plus Master Splinter,” Donnie explained.

“Oh,” was all you said for a moment. “Can I meet them too?”

Raph jumped back in shock. You wanted to meet all of them? He couldn’t believe it.

“Uh,” Donnie looked in Raph’s direction, asking what he thought would be best for you. He shook his head before Donnie replied. “Maybe just one at a time? We can be kind of….”

“Big,” you finished for him with a smirk. Gosh, you were adorable.

And brave.

And so very accepting.

But you hadn’t met him yet, he reminded himself. Not really, anyway. You had only seen glimpses of him and your eyes were closed throughout most of the ordeal in the alley. Donnie could be awkward, but that made him easy to feel safe around. Mikey made everyone feel comfortable with his innocent ramblings, and Leo, well everyone liked Leo.

“That’s one way to put it,” Donnie said. “I’ll go get Raph. You stay here, okay? It’s easy to get lost in here.”

You nodded and followed Donnie’s movement toward Raph. He hid behind the wall to collect himself.

Here goes nothin’, he thought, stepping forward after Donnie walked past him with a thumbs up.

You stood in the middle of their living room looking like you were meant to be there as he slowly, quietly stepped toward you. He didn’t want to scare you. He didn’t want you to run away.

“Hey,” you waved awkwardly as he stood in front of you.

He stayed silent as he waited for the inevitable scream.

“I never got to say thank you. Ya know?” You looked up at him. “For saving my life.”

“It was nothin’” Raph replied, unsure of what to say until he remembered you wanted to meet all of them. He strode away before you could start a conversation, throwing over his shoulder that he would go get Mikey. That you would like him.

And he was right.

You liked all of his brothers and they liked you.

You even met April and Casey that first day. Donnie called them, thinking you would be more comfortable with other humans around. You did seem to relax a bit more when they came around that day and Raph was happy for it. He wanted you around where he knew you would be safe and he wanted you comfortable. Over the weeks you proved to be a great friend to all of them. You played video games with Mikey, helped Donnie with his experiments, meditated with Leo, had tea with Sensei, and on movie nights you always plopped yourself in Raph’s lap.

Those were the moments he longed for; the movie nights. That was the only time he ever let himself get close to you. The only nights he allowed himself to fantasize that you two could be more than almost friends. Just for a couple of hours. Then he would lay you in his bed while he went out to watch over the city.

~~~~~~~~~~

Part 3

#tmnt #raph #raphael #raph x reader #tmnt fanfic #fanfic #my writing #leo #donnie #mikey #splinter #angst #adorable

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lenna-z · 3 years

Text

TaG: Hiding From the Past (Part 3)

Notes: Any mistakes in this are strictly mine.

Sorry for the late update, I hope you will like it.

And already have a nice weekend everyone!

Disclaimer: I don’t have Thunderbirds Are Go or characters.

Characters: Kayo, Gordon, Grandma Tracy, Scott, Virgil, John...

Part 1 | Part 2

°°°°°

Part 3 -Questions-

Sally Tracy was tired, emotionally if not physically tired...

All of her grandchildren were important to her. Six of them... All of them were brave young people who followed her son's footsepts . So she worried about them every day. They took it upon themselves to continue the International Rescue, founded by his son, and they were all very good at their job.

Yet even the IR had enemies, although it was set up for the good of all. Her grandchildren were suffering from the consequences. Two of them are missing now, Gordon and Kayo. Regardless, they all valued each other. Wouldn't stop until others found them.

Of course they had to get better first. Scott and Alan exposed to a biohazardous gas. Virgil was lucky, he wasn't in the cave. Though she was sure he didn't think that way. She had to talk to Virgil so he wouldn't blame himself... and about Kayo too. She saw how the two glanced at each other. But they hadn't seen that.

And then there was Gordon and Penny... When Penny finds out what happened... Sally knew Penny hadn't told Gordon that she loved him yet. She thought how happy Gordon would be if she said...

Between all these thoughts she couldn't hold back her tears...

She felt a movement in her hand. Alan... Her youngest grandson was finally awakening. With her other hand, she quickly wiped the tears from her face and held her hand tighter.

She was supposed to be the strong grandmother again.

°°°°°

"I'm... sorry-"

"Tin... You shouldn't talk."

"There shouldn't- ...be another... secret..." She was out of breath, but she couldn't stop. She had promised his family but...

They didn't talk about the secret The Hood was talking about. Gordon thought it was about the past... "I don't care, you're still my sister. Why do you do this to yourself, you're human too Tin?"

"Okay, but- ...but there's one more thing- ...-you should know."

He shook his head unwillingly. Talking was hurting her, he could see.

"I- went on a mission two days ago. I was hurt, two broken ribs... He knew this, he was talking about it. "

"Was he... Was he there? Your mission?"

"No..., Only me and Colonel Casey knew-... where to go. And- and... When I came to the island, Virgil realized that I was hurt. He didn't tell anyone but- ...he entered the database in my medical-... file. So John probably knows- that too. So..."

"So you say he entered our database and..." They have gone into a ambush... Looked at Kayo. She was crying, she was out of breath. Of course she was blaming herself again. "Two ribs were broken and you didn't tell us, and two days later a mission?"

"Huh- Painkillers work very well..." She bit her lip again and turned her head the other way. "I'm still not sure- ...it's- it's two, I'm-... it's hard to breathe and..." And then she looked at him worriedly. "I'm sorry..., ...Gordon, Are you okay?"

"Don't apologize, Tin. I'm fine and I'm worried about you right now."

"I'll be fine." Of course she didn't tell him that she might have internal bleeding. Virgil had only given consent for simple mission. And Virgil... Her reliable gentle brother... Her heart was going crazy every time she thought of him. But she couldn't tell him. He would hurt her like everyone she loved... Like her mother, Mr. Tracy and her father- Oh, her father... He blamed himself for Mr.Tracy's disappearance, he left the island to find him. Still the Tracy's didn't blame her for anything. Virgil, in particular, was always understanding towards her.

Like the day they found out that he was the Hood's uncle. She was alone on the terrace that night and was trying so hard not to cry.

"What are you doing?"

Actually she didn't think anyone would come to her that night and she was startled.

"I was looking- ... at the stars." She didn't know where she was looking, but it was definitely not the stars. For a moment she looked into his worried brown eyes. Her red swollen eyes met his, and he hurriedly set the tray down on the table. There was coffee and snacks on the tray.

He approached her. He put one arm on her shoulders and brought her closer to himself. He wiped her tears from her face with his free hand.

She was trembling and still trying not to cry. But she buried her face in his chest and cried...

"I- I hate h-him..."

He was holding tightly to her, he whispered in her ear that nothing was her fault and she was safe there. But right now... She was not safe, Virgil was not safe, none of them were safe...

"...Tin?! Are you sure you're okay?"

"Yeah- yeah, I'm fine." She wasn't okay and she had to change the subject. Well, "Gordon, can I ask- a question?"

"Sure?"

"Penny and you... Did you tell her?" His eyes were tearing when she suddenly looked at him.

"Don't change the subject, Tin..."

"Gordon, I promise- you'll see her... again." Her voice cracked. She suppressed the urge to cough or vomit. Okay, they were supposed to get out of here. She slowly looked around. The medicine provided by their masks came from a single source. This was definitely something the Hood did to keep them from running. Brains' inventions probably would have helped them break the clamps that restrained them, or they could escape from here. But Hood wasn't stupid enough to leave anything to use. The thought that he or his men were looking for them while unconscious made him feel sick.

But Brains wasn't stupid either. He had made small and useful tools for all of them and hid them in hard-to-find places. He had asked Kayo for help in this, and she had set up places to hide them in case they encountered a situation as they are now. But she couldn't tell that to Gordon like that. If someone is listening to them... Okay, she should have told this to Gordon without anyone noticing.

"Gordon..."

°°°°°

"I talked to Aunt Liv. GDF is already looking for them right now. Will let us know when they find any clue. EOS and I will be linking to GDF. EOS is analyzing everything right now, we will find them."

"Anything so far? Are we any closer to finding out who did it? Request for ransom? Anything?"

"Scott... Nothing... I'm sorry. Besides, you should rest now."

"Don't switch to doctor mode Virgil, not now. They've been missing for eight hours and we got nothing..." He turned his head and then suddenly looked again. "What about possible suspects?"

"EOS is currently investigating, incoming threat messages, all possible suspects... Well you know Kayo's job is different from us, so..."

"Shit."

Normally John would warn Scott for saying this, but... "But all us suspecting same person, The Hood."

Virgil let out a deep breath. Could he do that, be the bastard enough to kidnap his own niece? And Gordon? He looked at Scott, his breathing was erratic, the effects of the virus still continued. If his brothers hadn't gotten medical attention on time... What about Gordon and Kay? Did they breathe that gas too? What about Kay's injury? If she received a small blow, her lungs could be damaged, causing internal bleeding. He wasn't supposed to send her on mission. But as always she was stubborn.

"...-gil? Virgil are you with us?"

"Um-...Yeah? ...I'm sorry."

Scott looked at him, not understanding. "Why?"

He turned his head sadly. "This is Kay... She was injured on mission with GDF two days ago. Two broken ribs... I would have told you but she said she was fine. I forcefully gave her a painkiller. I entered her file in the database but..."

"Don't take all the blame, Virgil. I knew too, I-"

"It wasn't your fault, she's always stubborn and she is strong. She will be fine."

Virgil knew this. That's why he loved her... God, he loved her...

"Gordon too. We will find both."

EOS's voice heard from John's wrist comm. "John, there's something you have to see. Some kind of ransom demand." AI paused a little. "Someone just entered this in the database. I'm trying to trace the link."

"What did someone do!?"

"This is the Hood."

The silence strangled the hospital room. It was Scott who could speak after a few seconds.

"Is-... is this a video?"

"Yes, sent right now."

And the notification appeared on John's wrist comm. John touched the video and... they saw Gordon and Kayo battered. Both had their IR uniforms and T-shirts removed. Gordon was staring at his sister in horror. His face was dripping blood and he was covered with bruises. Later he closed his eyes, he looked like he was hardly breathing. His belly was covered with bruises and rashes...

Virgil hoped it wouldn't be too serious. And then his gaze went to Kayo. Her face was almost unrecognizable from bruises but her pain was obvious. Her belly was bruised and full of red scratches. Certainly she had more broken ribs. And she was vomiting blood. They were both breathing with difficulty and he saw a tube in the middle. Medicine to keep them alive? Did the virus get them too?

The Hood appeared on the screen. He was grinning. "Thunderbirs and your island. Or you can guess what will happen."

And the screen went black. Silence strangled the room again.

John let out his breath that he didn't know was holding. His siblings were in the hands of that man. He hurt them. The Hood wouldn't get rid of it so easily this time, he would make sure of that.

Scott blamed himself for not protecting anyone. He left Gordon and Kayo alone in that cave. He should've listened to Kayo from the very beginning. God, at least Virgil isn't in cave. What would happen if they couldn't find them. Kayo warned them not to give the island or Thunderbirds, whatever the situation. Because when it got into bad hands the consequences would be much worse... Was it more valuable than their lives? Okay, giving the island or Thunderbirds was not an option, leaving them there just like that. What should he do, he was the oldest brother, commander of the International Rescue... Between all these thoughts he was out of breath. In fact, he was lucky that the virus did not affect his lungs much. Alan too.

Still, John knew there was something wrong with him. "Scott ... you have to rest."

He was about to protest. "Not-"

"I need some air- I-"

"Virgil?"

"I- ...I gotta check out Alan-"

"Virgil!?" He stubbornly said his name again but he had already left the room.

°°°°°

He needed air. He reached the garden of the hospital without realizing how. He gave a breath he didn't know he was holding. Tears threatened to fall but he didn't care. The Hood hurt both of them. He wouldn't stop if they didn't give what he wanted.

But they couldn't give it to him. He wanted to kill The Hood for everything he did... But family comes first, they should have found Gordon and Kay. God, both of them were hurt... so badly. How long could they last until they found them? The man had entered the International Rescue's database, their database. Kayo would blame herself when she hears this. Virgil had to make sure that, that wouldn't happen. But how, how in hell did he do that? And when? Since when he's been watching their every move?

°°°°°°°°°°°°°°°°°°°°°°°°°°°°°°°°°°°°°°°°°°°°°°°

...TBC...

#thunderbirds are go #thunderbirds 2015 #thunderbirds are go fanfiction #thunderbirds fanfiction #kayo kyrano #gordon tracy #scott tracy #virgil tracy #john tracy #grandma tracy #lenna writes #TaG Hiding From the Past

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nights-legacy · 4 years

Text

Believe-Raph

Across Versions

+Y/N is a very shy girl. Raph is far from that. She has the biggest crush on him but never has had the courage to say anything. They are really good friends surprisingly. He likes to tease her and she get really flustered which he thinks is so cute.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Y/N’s POV

Rock music played throughout the lair as the guys were working out. Well, Raph and Mikey were. Leo and Donnie were out on a junk yard run. I sat on the couch with my nose in a book. I had to read a book for a class and we had to have three chapters done by the next class. Even though that was two days from now since it is the weekend, I was reading ahead. I was so into my book that I didn’t hear the guys entering the room.

“Hey bookworm.” I screamed as my book went flying. I heard Raph laughing behind me. I turned to look at him as he caught my book mid-air. I glared.

“Not funny.” I said.

“I thought so.” He said before holding my book out. I went to reach for it but at last second he pulled it out of reach. I made a sound in protest before jumping over the back of the couch.

“Give it.” I told him before grabbing for it. He moved it before I could even touch it. “Raph!” I exclaimed.

“Come on.” He urged before holding it over his head. “Come get it.” He joked. I rolled my eyes before reaching up. He was taller than me and I couldn’t reach it. “Come on, Shortie. Jump for it.”

“Raph! Come on just give it to me.” I hit his plastron before attempting to jump for it. I still could reach. “You’re no fair. I can’t reach it and you know it.” I pouted and crossed my arm. He cooed and brought the book down and put it behind his back.

“Aww, poor baby.” He cooed again. “You’re so cute when you pout.” He said. I blushed bright red and looked down. He chuckled before he went to say something else. He was interrupted. As he turned nearly all the way around, my book was brought into my reach. I quickly grabbed it from his grip and darted. “Hey!”

“Mine.” I grumbled as I settled into my spot on the couch again. He walked over and leant on his arms on the back of the couch.

“Dirty trick, Sweetie.” He told me, smirking. I blushed at the nickname he started calling me after I had brought sweet tarts to the lair for two weeks in a row.

“You left yourself wide open.” I gave him a smirking back before looking down embarrassed. I heard him chuckle again. After a bit, I could feel him watching me as I read. I glanced up at him only to see him staring. I quickly looked back down and tried to ignore his gaze. Just when I was about to say something, Donnie came in calling for Raph.

“Raph! We need your help moving this in.” I heard Raph groan.

“What did you get this time? The Arc of the Covenant?” He joked. I giggled as Donnie rolled his eyes.

“Nooo. But I did find a piece of machinery that I can use to improve the lair.” He continued to talk as he walked out again.

“My lord.” Raph looked back at me with a “really” face. I just shrug. “Don’t get into too much trouble while I’m gone, Sweetie.” He started to walk away. I popped up on my knees on the couch.

“I never get into trouble.” I leant on the back of the couch leaning over it. As he looked back one elbow slipped and nearly fell over the couch. Once I caught myself, I looked back at him to see him raise an eye ridge.

“Oh really?” He teased. I opened and shut my mouth before glaring slightly and throwing myself back into the couch. I could hear him laughing as he walked away. I rolled my eyes before smiling to myself.

“He called me cute.” I murmured and literally buried my face in my book.

*Time Skip*

By the time the boys finished helping Donnie get the machine piece in the lab and set up, Mikey had gone and gotten dinner. Leo and Raph plopped down heavily on either side of me, groaning and rubbing their sore muscles. I chuckled at the two. Leo just gave me a knowing smile and Raph gave me a small glare.

“Having troubles?” I asked innocently. Raph looked up at me has he rubbed the back of his neck.

“You could say that. That thing wanted to lean more than the Leaning Tower of Pisa.” He set his head back, sighing.

“We would right it one way then it would lean the other.” Leo continued on what Raph said. “It took forever to get it to settle.”

“Did someone say Pizza?” Mikey came over holding multiple boxes. He set the out and handed me a smaller box. “Your personal pizza ma’am.”

“Thanks Mikey.” I said softly. Everyone dug in and I opened my box. As I slowly ate my pizza the other guys were close to being finished. Every time I set down a piece I would wipe my hands. After a little bit, I heard Raph chuckle. I knew he wasn’t a part of the conversation the boys were having because he never made a comment. “What?”

“Nothing.” He said. I looked at him to see him staring at me again. I raised an eyebrow. He over-annunciated a sigh. “I laughed because of your little quirk of wiping your hands after every bite, Sweetie.” I blushed at the nickname.

“I don’t after every bite.” I mumbled before tugging at my sleeves. He chuckled again and poked my cheek. I swatted his hand causing him to laugh out loud. I huffed and crossed my arms.

“Aww is someone grumpy?” He poked me again.

“No that would be you, per usual.” I said sarcastically. He rolled his eyes.

“Yeah, your usual is being a shy little brat. You can’t even talk to Casey without tripping over yourself. My lord.” He laughed at himself. My face fell and I curled into myself. I saw Leo look at me from the side.

3rd POV

“Hey Raph...” Leo tried to say something.

“It took you forever to even talk to us normally. I mean you would think it would be hard for us to let alone a human.” He continued on despite Leo. Y/n shrunk farther into herself. “It’s hard to believe how shy you are.”

“Raphael!” Leo yelled. Raph jumped and looked at him in confusion. “Shut up!” Leo told him firm. Raph was confused until he noticed how quiet the table was. He looked at everyone and noticed everyone was looking at Y/N. He looked at her and noticed the hurt expression.

“Oh Y/N, I…” Before he could apologize Y/N darted out of her seat and out of the room. “Oh Shell.”

“You got that right.” Leo said sternly. The other two didn’t look any happier than Leo sounded.

“I was only teasing.” Raph defended even though he knew that he was in the wrong.

“Well, appartently, it was more than teasing for her. You knew she doesn’t like being shy but she can’t help it. It makes her insecure when someone mentions it.” Donnie sassed with a glare.

“I, I, I…” He shut his mouth. He looked down at his plate before hitting the table in frustration. He got up from the table and followed Y/N.

Y/N’s POV

I sat in some random sewer tunnel. In my storm out I got lost and just decided to sit down. There were only a few tears on my face. The shy teasing was something I was used to at school but it hurt coming from Raph. I had my head on my knees until I heard footsteps running my way. I backed up into the wall in fear.

“Y/N!” I heard Raph yell. Before I could say anything he shot around the corner. Panic was written on his face. He finally saw me and relief took its place. “Oh my god, Y/N. You scared me. I couldn’t find you, I thought something happened to you.” He knelt down. “I am so sorry, Y/N. I know you don’t like that you’re shy and I was an idiot to even mention it. I’m so-orry.” His voice cracked. He changed his stance to where he was kneeling like he was in front of sensei with his head down.

“Raph…” I relaxed a bit. I reached forward and touched his shoulder. He wouldn’t look at me. I couldn’t help myself and trace my hand up his neck. When my fingertips brushed his mask. I gently grabbed the tail of his mask and twirled it around my fingers. He was so close to me.

“I can’t believe I hurt you. I hurt the one that I…” He trailed off and looked up at me. I could see what he didn’t say in his eyes. I saw love. “I am so sorry. Please forgive me. I will never do anything to hurt you on purpose and if I ever do you can do whatever you want. Hit me, scream at me, leave me…” I cut him off before he could ramble on by pulling on the tail of his mask.

“Shush.” I pulled him to me and kissed me hard. He made a sound of surprise before quickly kissing me back. His hand came up and gripped my cheek while mine still gripped tight to his mask. We slowly pulled away from each other, his mask slipping through my fingers.

“Wow.” He whispered. I smiled and placed my hand on his plastron.

“I won’t ever do any of that. We will be able to work anything out.” I looked into his eyes. “As long as we believe in each other and…” I paused. “We believe in our love.” His eyes widened.

“You love…”

“Yes Raphael. I love you, more than anything.” I admitted. He smiled wide before pulling me into his arms.

“I love you too. So much.” He held me tight. We just sat there for a while, enjoying the feel of each other’s arms. “Come on. Let’s get back before they send a search party.” He helped me up. I gripped onto his bicep as he wrapped his arm around my waist. He leant and captures my lips. The passion was evident.

“You’re stalling.” I mumbled against his lips.

“Yep.” He chuckled. He set his arm across my shoulders as he lead me back to the lair. “Now what was with that kiss? That came out of nowhere.” I blushed and looked down.

“I had to get you to shut up somehow.” I joked. He smirked and rolled his eyes.

“Well you can use that method at any time.” He smiled at me. We walked in comfortable silence until we made it to the entrance of the lair. He looked down at me. He gripped my chin before kissing me again.

“Well looks like you two made up.” We pulled apart and I saw Leo leaning against the column. He was smirking. I blushed before burying my head in Raph’s neck.

“If you must know, yes we did Fearless.” Raph said. “Now get lost. And take Mikey with you.” I peeked out and saw Mikey doing the same thing from behind Leo.

“Fine, fine.” Leo held up his hands in surrender. “I’m glad you’re alright, Y/N.” He said before dragging Mikey away.

“Now there’s one more thing we need to clarify.” Raph looked down at me with a nervous glint. “Will you, ummm…”

“Yes, I’ll be your girlfriend.”

“How did you…I am not going to even ask.” He said before kissing me again. I giggled into it. “Now, I am in the mood for some more pizza, since I kinda ruined dinner and didn’t finish.”

“Me too.” We walked into the lair and towards the kitchen.

“I love you, Sweetie.” I smiled.

“I love you too, Raphie.” He rolled his eyes but said nothing to the name before pulling me into his arms.

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darkestwolfx · 4 years

Text

Up From the Depths P.2 - Re-Review #33

Look at that scenery! It gets me every time, I will be honest.

“This is Thunderbird One in immediate pursuit of The Mechanic.”

“I’ve got you Thunderbird One. Thunderbird Five is tracking you at a thousand metres and closing.”

“The TV-21... I haven’t seen it since I was a kid. It’s just as cool as I remember.”

“Please use caution, Scott. The Mechanic must be piloting remotely. That means he’s got nothing to lose.”

“Except Dad’s old plane he’s carrying.”

“Scott, there’s a safe area up ahead. You could knock out the TV-21 and bring down the plane with zero civilian causalities.”

“No way, Thunderbird Five. That plane belongs to us and I’m going to get i back in one piece.”

And that decision causes a load of problems - but had Scott not made that call, the episode would have been quite a bit shorter, and Scott probably wouldn’t have met Ned - and I wouldn’t have been able to write a fic about called ‘When Scott met Ned’, so I’ll go with it.

“Scott, when I designed the TV-21, you’re Dad wanted all the thrust I could give him. That booster is the most powerful I’ve ever built.”

“More powerful than Thunderbird One?”

“Well... yes.”

“Thunderbird One is going down!”

Grandma being able to give Scott those instructions makes a lot more sense now the whole series has aired. When we first saw this episode, I was a little bit like.. explanation please? (Because based on TOS Grandma; she didn’t seem the type to fly). But, it’s okay, they came through and gave it to us.

“Don’t worry, I won’t let the TV-21 out of my sight.”

We know you won’t John.

“Thunderbird Shadow moves fast and quiet. He won’t hear me coming.”

And another Kayo ‘I can totally manage a solo mission moment’. Yeah, remember one of the last ones? As in the nearly dying part (’Touch and Go’)? Clearly not. Is it just me, or is that getting a little bit repetitive and annoying now? I really found that Kayo had an attitude in this two-parter.

I for one, am very glad Grandma called in some assistance.

“Hello, Dear? Are you busy?”

“Never too busy for you, Mrs Tracy.”

“How would you like a second chance to get The Mechanic?”

“I’d enjoy it more than Parker likes complaining about the weather. Scotland, Parker.”

“Right haway, M’Lady. hOf hall the places to ‘ide hout ‘e picks the rainy hone.”

Parker, I’d like to claim that such might actually be me, down here n the South West coast. Hello, always rains down here... except it’s actually really nice right now. I claim it’s the lack of pollutants affecting the air quality and atmosphere. But’s that’s just one girl’s theory.

Look at his face, his poor little face. Thunderbird Four really is in a state though...

“What do you think?”

“I think we have a lot of work to do.”

Scott looks so sad, sat back at his dad’s desk, bless him. Knowing him he’s probably reliving the fact that he failed to get the TV-21 back. He’s always too hard on himself. Anyone else remember the events of ‘Recharge’? Virgil, come give him another talking to, please.

“I get that everybody loves the TV-21, but it’s just a plane.”

“It’s also a symbol of your Father’s determination. Ever since he was a boy, your Father dreamed he’d be the fastest pilot who ever flew.”

“So he and Brains built the TV-21?”

“It was beautiful! Dream come true!”

“Until The Hood crashed it.”

“But he didn’t crash his dream. Your Dad didn’t care about being fastest anymore. He only cared about being first. First on the scene when people need help. First to act when someone’s in trouble. And instead of one ship to do it all, he built five. The TV-21 was the beginning of International Rescue.”

“We need to get that plane back!”

That’s the spirit, Alan!

I’m loving all these scenes on Tracy Island in this episode just to say. Definitely another reason why it makes it into my favorites. It’s an episode which really succeeds in making the boys both human and heroes and I will endlessly love how well written this family was in this two-parter.

“What’s the situation, John?”

“The Mechanic’s craft has stopped over the GDF’s high security iridium vault. The GDF are responding now.”

Because we all know how well that will go down...

“All personnel have been evacuated, Colonel Casey. Except one.”

“Well get him out of there.”

“He said he won’t leave. He’s afraid of losing his job. Oh, and he told to say ‘Gladys won’t go either’.”

“What’s his name?”

I think we already know the answer.

“A crewman. Tedford. Ned Tedford.”

“Oh boy.”

Called it!

“No one’s stealing the world’ supply of iridium, Gladys. Not on our watch!”

That’s right everyone! It’s our favourite gold member of the Rescue Club! Ned Tedford and Gladys!

“Phew, Gladys. I thought we were in trouble there for a second.”

Yeah, Ned you kinda are... See I told you, never leave the GDF to handle things. I bet Colonel Casey is really regretting allowing Virgil to convince her to give Ned a “nice cozy desk job” with the GDF.

I love how Colonel Casey just says “there’s a worker inside” - she knew it was Ned, she could have told them it was Ned - it’s even more comical that she chooses not to.

“It’s never even been tested!”

“Brains, whatever it is, will it help us stop The Mechanic?”

“Conceivably.”

“Then we’ll take it!”

Good choice.

Maximum Max is a brilliant new development and one I think Alan really loves - it was like giving the kid more video games to play with. And it gave Scott a chain to go and rescue Ned! Hooray!

“It’s game time!”

Yeah it is! And just look at them go.

In my opinion, this goes down as Scott’s best ever entrance to a rescue.

“It’s International- Arrgh!”

*Has iridium thrown at him*.

Definitely the best entrance.

“Keep your dirty hands off this iridium!”

“Ned Tedford?”

“Oh, it’s you! Sorry about that!”

I think that was meant to be Scott’s line. And the fact Scott can reognise Ned (when we know Colonel Casey didn’t give a name - well, that we heard), means he must have been told a lot by his brothers. Or, that’s the assumption I’ve always made.

“Why am I not surprised? I need you to climb into the airlock.”

“No way! I was told to watch this iridium. I won’t let it be stolen!”

“Uh... it’s already been stolen, Ned. You do realise you’re in space, right?”

I mean, I would hope the floatiness gave that away...

“Hmm... That does explain the floatiness.”

Or apparently not. I am proven wrong. Again.

“But it does not change anything! I’m not going anywhere without this vault!”

And there is another decision that sets the path of the episode. If they could have just rescued Ned and Gladys... I can’t help wondering if they would have stood a better chance at recovering the TV-21, or if it still wouldn’t have made a big enough difference.

“Alan, we’re gonna’ have to retrieve the iridium as well.”

“Scott, that isn’t the mission!”

“It wasn’t, but it is now.”

Always listen to your field commander, Alan, and today that is Scott, and he’s made the call. Whatever you and I may think of it.

The International Rescue theme played on bagpipes was absolutely wonderful!

“hIt’s been cloned! That’s hone hof the ‘ood’s hold tricks!”

“Where do you think he got it from?”

That is a new one... Another thing to add to the list of connections between The Mechanic and The Hood, because that implies a more long term connection than we might have first thought.

And all I have to say here, is poor hAlice! May she rest in peace.

“But it’s Dad’s plane!”

“I know, Alan, but it’s not Dad.”

That quote, will always get me.

Remember what The Mechanic said about taking what he wants? Yeah, well he very nearly took Thunderbird Three down with the TV-21.

“Sorry Dad.”

I think he would always have rather had his sons, than his old plane, sad as it is to have been so close.

“The TV-21 was so close!”

“Dad really loved that plane.”

“Ah, in the end the TV-21 was just a bunch of steel and rivets. Your Father would never have risked failing a mission just to save it. What he really loved was us. All of us. His family.”

So, after all that, Thunderbird Four is fixed, and everyone has gathered together (even John) for a bit of well earned family time. Yep, there are hundreds of reasons to love these last two episodes.

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thepinkwriterr · 4 years

Text

Loner // IT 2017 Chapter Twenty - One

Dodie Clark - She

Am I allowed to look at her like that?

Could it be wrong, when she's just so nice to look at?

And she smells like lemongrass and sleep

She tastes like apple juice and peach

You would find her in a Polaroid picture

And she means everything to me

I'd never tell

No, I'd never say a word

And oh it aches

But it feels oddly good to hurt

She smells like lemongrass and sleep

She tastes like apple juice and peach

You would find her in a Polaroid picture

And she means everything to me

And I'll be okay

Admiring from afar

Cause even when she's next to me

We could not be more far apart

Cause she tastes like birthday cake and story time and fall

But to her

I taste of nothing at all

Cause she smells like lemongrass and sleep

She tastes like apple juice and peach

You would find her in a Polaroid picture

And she means everything to me

Yes, she means everything to me

She means everything to me

Danielle's POV

"Uck, that's disgusting." Beverly cringed. Me, Bev, Richie, and Eddie gawked at Casey's table. Clair Benson, one of her pets, was running her hands through his hair while they talked. Casey and Bill were playing tonsil tennis, effectively ruining my appetite.

"When the hell did Stan become a traitor?" I asked, scooting my tray away from my face. "Over the weekend when you were at home. We were at a party and I introduced them. They started talking about stories of each other from school. It was weird as fuck." Beverly rolled her eyes.

"No, you're the whore!" Richie and Eddie came in, arguing once again. "I'm not a whore. If anything, you are!" Eddie retorted, sitting in a plastic chair across from me.

"I don't know Rich...I gotta agree with Eds, you are drowning in pussy." I humored him. He smirked,"Maybe you're right. I had Marina Ledges just begging for Lil Henry the other day."

"'Lil Henry'?" Bev asked, disgust on her face. "Yeah. Y'know...My d-" "We got it Rich!" Eddie interrupted, yelling. "I'm a pussy annihilator!" Richie smirked proudly.

"Really? Then why did Sarah Jesso reject you? She's a known hoe. She would fuck Eddie. No offense Eddie." Bev added in.

"On second thought, I think Eddie's the whore. I mean, have you seen the way he stares at Mr. Zigs?" Richie asked wryly, smirking. "I am not boning my Biology teacher! I get my grades honestly through tireless studying and grueling homework!"

We all laughed. "I don't know Eds, Richie may be right." Bev chuckled. "Yeah. I mean, I've seen the way you two stare at each other, biting your lips and hiking up your shorts to show off your thighs." I shrugged.

"Fuck you guys!" Eddie exclaimed, throwing his things in the trash. We all turned to gawk at the PDA coming from the table of whores once again. When Eddie came back he joined in, muttering something about sucking face.

The bell rang, dismissing us from lunch. "Thank god," I grumbled to Bev as we walked down the hallway,"If I had to look at that for one more second I was gonna barf." "Me too." Beverly scowled.

Someone shoulder checked me. I looked ahead, seeing Casey's dumbass. "Just let it go, Dani." Beverly held my arm, keeping me in place. I exhaled calmly,"You're right, you're right."

We sat in the library, talking about things. She told me that Jake told her what happened. "So, he kinda caused your guys breakup?" She asked.

I chuckled,"No. Both Bill and I were at fault. But regardless, we weren't meant for each other, clearly." Bev nodded,"You're being really mature about this, good for you." She smiled.

What I didn't tell her was how and why I was being so mature. I didn't mind the fact Bill had fucked me over. I didn't mind because now I could feel whatever I wanted for anyone without feeling bad.

"Well, I gotta go. Ben and I gotta study for calculous." She stood, pushing in her chair. I nodded,"Have fun." Sometimes I forget that they're all in the year above me. Everyone except Eddie.

When the bell rang again I grabbed my things and hauled ass from History to Bio. I was hasty to get to the room, as it was my last class of the day. On my way to class I felt someone shoulder check me again.

But this time Beverly wasn't here to keep me level-headed. I turned, slapping Casey. "You fucking whore!" I spat. I could see the anger bubbling up through her, exiting her mouth in the form of a comeback,"At least I can keep a guy, shit you-"

"No that fuck you can't! Bill only went back to you because he thought I didn't want him. You're just a cheap version of me, and you know it. That's why you hate me. Because I'm classy and you're t-"

She punched me in the ribs. It didn't hurt too bad. I rolled my eyes. "Trashy." I finished. She screamed, trying to jump on me. I moved out of the way swiftly. I ran to my class, that was only a few steps away, and nearly avoided her.

About ten minutes later I was called down to the office. I received a detention, while Casey got off...you guessed it! Scott free. That bitch.

Kali's POV

I woke up to a pounding headache once again. I groaned, sitting up slowly. I took some pain numers, then went about my morning routine.

When I got to school all I wanted to do was see Beverly. I knew she was hanging out with Danielle and the rest of the famed Losers Gang.

Another morning spent alone in the bathroom...

Everyday I waited for History and Biology, dreading anything before or after. Our projects were done after today, no need for her to continue to pretend to be my friend.

As I walked down the hallway, ready for History, I ran into a large person. I fell straight on my ass. "Oh, I'm so sorry!" He pulled me up with his large hand. "No, you're fine, it was my fault." I was distracted, focused soully on seeing Bev.

"No no, it's my fault. And how could I have missed such a beautiful girl." He smirked. I recognized him as Ben Hanscom. "I um-I-I-" His smirk stood still,"It's alright. How about I make it up by taking you out this Friday night?" He leaned against the wall.

"I-I have a boyfriend." I ran past him, up the stairs.

History couldn't have rolled around any slower! I sat across from the acclaimed red head, staring at the back of her beautiful hair.

As the teacher droned on and on about the French Revolution and marquis de lafayette's genius, the words of Stevie Nicks rang through my mind.

Something's happening

Happening to me

My friends say I'm acting peculiarly

C'mon baby

We better make a start

You better make it soon before you break my heart

Oh I

I want to be with you everywhere

Oh I

I want to be with you everywhere

And it was true. I look at this woman. This divine creation of beauty. I felt my face still burning. I tried to control my blush, but I just couldn't.

I packed up my things, ready for the school day to be over. The bell rang, dismissing the students. A note fell over my books. I looked up to see Beverly, holding tightly onto her book bag straps, looking over her shoulder at me as walked out the door. She winked before she crossed the doorway.

I smiled, picking up the note. Scrawled in her pretty loopy hand writing was: We still on for a sleepover? I smiled as I read her name signed at the bottom: Beverly

Danielle's POV

I walked down the staircase to the detention room. Boy oh boy was I in it when I got home. If my day wasn't bad enough you could not believe the only other person in the room. Richie goddamn mother fuckin Tozier.

"Well, well, well. If it isn't the P-" "Save it, Creep." He was taken back by this. I hadn't said anything of the sort to him in a very long time.

I looked to the front, ignoring him. My dumbass didn't bring anything with me. My things were in my book bag in my car. I sighed, knowing he wouldn't leave me to sulk in peace. I knew my inevitable fate at home.

He was fucking humming. Again. "Could you fucking stop?" I asked, hatred packed in my words, turning around to face him.

"What am I doing wrong?" He asked, tilting his head in a benign way, continuing his humming. I rolled my eyes. "Don't look at me." He stoped to be a dick, then continued humming.

Furrowing my brows out of confusion,"What the fuck is wrong with you?" I stood, walking over to him. "You're-you're unbelievable! I try to be nice! I try so fucking hard! And you're-you're just a dick to me! All. The. Time!"

He smirked, the corner of his mouth raising. That smirk made all of my anger melt away. Any anger I had ever felt for him dipped off me like a cheap candle and puddled on the floor below me, absorbing into the carpet.

His eyes shone brightly, the florescent lights capturing their beauty in full. Those beautiful eyes. Those Sienna eyes that I had grown to love.

Love? Really Danielle? Do I love him... No, no I couldn't. I can't. But god, those eyes were so inviting and made me feel so warm that I could look into them at the depths of the sea and still feel at home.

Maybe I do love him. No, I know I love him. I mean, how could you not love someone who made you feel like they built the sun, just for you?

How could you not love someone who made you feel that every breath you took was the first that had ever been taken? How could you not love someone who made you feel as if they didn't need music, that your voice was the only melody they ever needed. So how could I not be in love with him?

As I stared into his doe eyes that were magnified by his thick lenses, I thought about what I wanted to tell him. And I opened my mouth:

"I love you. I love you so much. I look at you and all I see is this beautiful human being.

All I see is your smile, your eyes that look brutal and theres a defining pain there, but so much love.

All I see are your dark curls, framing your gorgeous face. Your face could melt away the deepest of stresses, making malignant days seem like heaven on earth.

Your long, taut legs. Your thin cascading arms, leading to large, lithe hands.

Every part, every Inch, ever freckle, every pale section of your being is beautiful. There isn't a part of you that I wouldn't feel honored and blessed to love."

But I didn't open my mouth. I didn't say what I needed to say. I didn't tell him that he's everything I could and would ever need.

I didn't tell him his eyes remind me of rainy days spent inside under the covers.

I didn't tell him that I love him.

Kali's POV

I sat across from Beverly in Biology, filling out a sheet. She made a corny joke about atoms, a smile forcing it's way to my face. We both erupted into innocent laughter.

Just the sound of her giggling voice made my heart flutter. And I knew, in that moment, that I wasn't like other girls. I wasn't normal.

Danielle's POV

"You're not so innocent, Princess. You..." We droned on and on about why the other person was at fault for our broken friendship. It was breaking me to tear him down.

"And-and your perfect face, beautiful hair, long legs..." His tone softened,"You just sit there and pretend I hate you! You sit there and you can't see that you're breaking my heart! You stand here and act like the reason I hate you isn't because I can't stand the thought of you with Bill! You're breaking my heart Danielle. You're fucking breaking my heart."

All I could do was look into his eyes. He had a tears escaping his eyes, only making a short way from his tear ducts before wiping them away. He looked to me for a response.

I opened my mouth to say something, but I couldn't muster up anything.

He cradled the back of my head, pulling me in close to him. He crashed his soft lips into mine.

Word Count: 2170

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beautifuljetblackheart · 5 years

Text

Alone - Harrison Osterfield - Pt.3

A/N: enjoy Summary: Your older sister drops off her one year old child. Words: 3754 Warnings: none for now

"Hey Harrison, catch," a bag of chips went inside my cart, I looked up seeing the one and only Harrison Osterfield, my heart dropped down to my stomach.

“Y/N, hey,” he slowly grabbed the bag from my cart, “sorry”

“Harrison, hey” I was confused, I wasn’t sure what he was doing. You mentally jumped off a bridge, obviously he also lives around town.

“How- how have you been?” he had gained more face structure like never before, memories of him and I flashed instantly

“Good,” he looked down at my cart again he saw the baby food and the chocolate sitting there.

“Uh-I guess I’ll see you around,” he gave me a smile before walking away

“Sure,” he awkwardly walked away, I quickly went to a line to check out.

I set everything in the car and put the cart in a station. I sat in my car and started to cry, seeing him made me realized how much I missed him. His cheesy pick up lines, the way he stared at me cause he was admiring, movie nights, snuggles, kisses. I let out a deep breath, he probably moved on so should I.

---

I shut the door behind me, I walked to the table seeing Bri and Morgan sitting, “Y/N, what the hell happened?” Morgan looked at me

“She looks- no, really?” Bri walked up to me and hugged me

“What’s going on?” Morgan was confused

“Don’t you see the broken face? The broken face,” Bri emphasizes ‘broken’

“You saw Harrison?” I nodded my head yes against Bri’s shoulder. James started to cry, I let out a sigh and detached from Bri, “I got him,” you walked away seeing James crying, maybe he wanted to be with the rest of us or maybe he’s hungry.

“I don’t like this,” Bri rolls her eyes “last time we saw him was a year ago. He broke things off with her. They were going out for two years and then he just breaks it up like that?”

“Bri, he really loved her,” Morgan sat back down by the table

“He was going with Tom and he just left her. He chose Tom over her”

“Well, Harrison has been Tom’s friend since they were young. It would’ve been hard for them. I’m actually glad he talked with her instead of just leaving just like that,” Morgan pointed it out

“I know, I’m just fucken pissed,” there was a knock on the door.

“What if it’s Harrison”

“I will punch him right in the face”

“You can’t do that. This is also his hometown, they were going to have to cross paths sooner or later,” Bri looked at the peeping hole from the door and it was a guy standing he knocks again, she opened the door and saw a guy with a duffle bag

"Hi?" Bri saw a lot of tattoos covering his arm he didn’t smile or anything

"Is Y/(full)/N here?" "She is, how can I help you"

“I was sent to deliver this to her”

“What is it?” Morgan questioned

“Unknown,” he didn’t lose eye contact

“Hey who’s at the-“ I walked down the small hallway with James, I stopped in tracks seeing a random guy standing in front of my friends.

"You Y/N?” You gave him a nod, he set the bag down before leaving

"What is it for?" Morgan questioned

“I don’t know. It could be a bomb,” Bri spoke

“Do you hear it beeping?” Everyone went silent, if someone had a pin and dropped it, it would've been heard

“I don’t hear any-” Bri kicked it, “what the hell Bri!” Morgan glared at her

“You know what, fuck it. If we die, I’m gonna say that your rice tasted like nothing,” Bri looked over at Morgan

“Rude! And it’s not my fault because you grabbed a big scoop when I told you it wasn’t ready,” Bri opened the bag

“No fucken way”

“What is it?” I questioned

“It’s money. Like a shit ton of money,” you and Morgan got near her and saw stacks of money, “there’s a letter here,” Bri handed you the letter

“What does it say?” Morgan looked over your shoulder, Bri did the same.

‘Y/N, Brianna, and Misaki. Thank-”

“Wait,” Bri stopped you from reading, “what the fuck? your name is Misaki?”

“My parents tried being cool and were like hey, why not do a Saudi Arabian name”

“How the fuck did you go from Mis-Misaki to Morgan,” You set James on couch

“Cause Morgan is my middle name”

“Anyways, back to this situation… uh let’s see, ‘Thank you so much for looking over James. I’m so sorry what I’ve been put the three of you- well I’m assuming you all still live together. I got a lot of resources here. Which I can’t tell where I’m at. What’s, here is something for the four of you. Don’t spoil James too much. I don’t want him to be a bratty kid. I know you will raise him well. Take care of yourselves as well. Love you lots - Addy’ we now know where the money came from”

"So... What you going to do with the money?" Morgan looked at me

"Split it, obviously. You two have been helping me out a lot so, you also get money" ----------

The next day everyone decided to head out. We sat in a cafe shop waiting for our food and drinks, “It's so nice when it's warm outside, uh- do you want the usual?" "I want something warm, but not too hot, I want to be a able to sleep," I gave her a nod before walking to get in line to order the drinks. As I ordered the drink I waited to be called. "Harrison?" my breath hitched, ‘please don’t let it be him’ I prayed and prayed begging it wasn’t him, but God wasn’t on my side this time

“Your other drink will be right up," the barista left and another one came by, Lucinda.

"Y/N, hi,” Harrison awkwardly greets you once again

“Hello Harrison,” I gave him a smile, Lucinda comes back with my drink and someone else’s drink

“Here you go Harrison”

“Thanks Lucy,” Harrison smiled before walking away

“Hey Y/N,” I walked closer to the counter, “do you know Harrison?”

“Yeah, we were friends before he left and stopped talking”

“That’s too bad. He seems like your type, he’s also a gentleman much respect with a lot of people,” my heart was beating fast, I wanted her to stop talking, “I’m new around here and I heard that Harrison dated this one girl but he broke things off because he was heading off with his best friend for a big filming”

“Yeah,” I sucked my lips inside my mouth, “I was the girl,” Lucinda was shocked

“Oh, I’m so sorry. Why didn’t you stopped me”

“At least he told me face to face instead of sending me a message”

“You haven’t talked with him?”

“No,” a baby started to cry, I turned around and saw Morgan carrying James, “I have to go. I’ll bring Bri or Morg up here,” I walked away with my drink

“Where’s our drink?”

“And food?” Morgan chipped in

“Still not done. Harrison is here and I’m assuming he’s with a Holland,” I let out a sigh

“Oh shit. No way,” I asked Morgan to hand the baby, he needs a change. “I’ll be right back, can one of you get the stuff” Morgan said she would. I grabbed his bag and walked to the bathroom.

———

Harrison watched you leaving to the back with a kid on your hip and a bag hanging on your shoulder, “who’s kid is that?” Harrison pointed at the kid

“I don’t know,” Sam shrugged, “I haven’t seen her since the two of you broke things off. You should go talk to her friends”

“I can’t, I think Brianna is going to punch me. Can you do it, casually walk over there,” Sam glared at Harrison, “can you do it before Y/N comes back?”

“Fine, you owe me big time,” Harrison smiled and walked over to Morgan and Brianna

“Morgan, Brianna, Hey. I haven’t seen you guys in a while,” Sam smiles

“Hey Sammy, what’s sup”

“Just came to grab napkins. Harrison spilled his drink and our table doesn’t have any. Uh, who’s stroller is this?”

“It’s the baby’s stroller”

“Who’s baby?” Sam was confused

“Uh-um-it’s-uh Y/N’s baby”

“Really? That’s great, how is she doing?”

“Hey Sam,” Sam saw you with the baby on your hip

“Y/N! I just asked about you. How have you been?” Sam gave me a side hug “he is very adorable, what’s his name?” Sam touches his hand

“I have been good, tired but good. This is James,” Sam looked at the baby while I looked at my friends, they shrugged confused as well on why he was there

“That’s cute, I better go before the stains get worse. Good seeing you,” Sam walked away, I sat down with James

“That was weird, what was he doing over here?”

“He came to grab napkins then he saw the strolled and you came along”

“I brought in your drinks and food. Casey kinda forgot to make them, she’s kinda new,” Lucinda set the drinks down

“Thanks Lucinda,” she gave a thumbs up before she left

—————

You sat in the living room for hours, “Hey Y/N, you’re up early. Did you sleep at all?”

“Not really, it’s just- just that he’s back and it’s just I don’t know”

“Are you okay?”

“Yeah just tired”

“I know you’re not okay, and that’s okay. You are a human, you are allowed to feel that way. You will think about him, he was and still is a great guy. Listen, you think you won’t find someone just like him but you will. He may not be like Harrison but he will have a great personality that will swoop you. You know you were going to see him sooner or later”

“I know. I just wasn’t ready for it”

“Get some sleep”

“I can’t I have work”

“But you don’t work on Friday’s”

“I know, Karen had to go to the hospital”

“Is she okay?”

“She is, her child accidentally ate peanuts at a restaurant”

“Oh, that sucks”

“Yeah so I’m just going to get ready and go. Can you or Bri take James out”

“Sure, we got you,” you changed into your uniform and went to work.

----------

I missed James a lot. Even though I’ve had him for two almost three months. “Y/N!” I heard my boss calling me. I looked at him, “you good there?”

“Yeah. Just cleaning the counters”

“I think this counter will be the most clean one for the next few days,” I looked down and I’ve been wiping the counter for a while

“Sorry. I-It won’t happen again,” I set the rag down already feeling stupid

“Are you okay?” I gave him a nod

“I just haven’t been sleeping enough, I’ll be fine”

“Okay. Cindy will be off in a few minutes I will have you cover her spot until Steven comes,” I gave him another nod.

“Okay. I am out and I think a new family came in,” I flipped through a new page and once I went to the table I saw Harrison’s family.

“Y/N!” Charlotte smiled at me, she got up and gave me a hug. It took me 6 months for her to like me. Harrison always said she always liked me since she met me but I didn’t believed him until months later she smiled at me constantly and asked to hang out with her.

“Char, it’s been a while. How have you been?”

“Good, I miss hanging out with you”

“I moved to a new place. I’ll send you the address. My doors are always opened for you. Phil, Brian. How are you two?”

“We are doing good. Doing one last thing before Harrison comes by the house,” Brian smiles

“Anyways, uh- what can I get you to drink?”

“I’ll just get sprite,” Charlotte ordered first

“I’ll just have a lemonade,” You wrote down Phil’s order

“I’ll get a beer,” you gave him a nod

“I’ll bring those right out and I can take your order,” they thanked you before walking away, it actually went well

——

You were cleaning their table when you saw someone stop near you, you looked up and saw Charlotte, “Hey Y/N”

“Yes Char”

“I miss hanging out with you”

“Me too, my number is still the same. Call me and I will pick you up, or I can give you my address and they can drop you off”

“I’ll send you a message”

“I’ll be waiting,” I gave her a smile and she left. Phil and Brian were waiting for her. I wasn’t sure if I made the right choice but I couldn’t say no to her.

—————

I walked in into the shared apartment, there was no one home. Maybe they went on a walk with James. I went to the bathroom to wash up and get out of my working clothes.

By the time I was out of the shower and changed into shorts and a t-shirt. I grabbed my laptop and went to see my online class to see if there were upcoming assignments due. The door opened and in came Morgan and Brianna

“They totally were looking at us like we were a lesbian couple”

“No they weren’t. You over see things,” I looked up and saw Morgan and Brianna coming in, “Hey Y/N. How was work?” Morgan waved as Bri got a sleepy James out of his stroller

“I saw the family but not him”

“Really?”

“Yeah. The mom, the step dad and Charlotte. Charlotte told me that she miss hanging out with me and I told her that she can come over or I can pick her up. Was that wrong of me to say yes to her?”

“I thought she wouldn’t like you?” Brianna was setting James on the couch slowly

“She still does. I think, I don’t know if she hates me or not”

“Just hang out with her, make sure she understands that it’s neither his or your fault,” I let out a sign hitting my head on the table

——-

Sunday came by, Charlotte had texted me if I could pick her up at two to hang out, she got annoyed of Harrison, I tied my shoes and grabbed my keys, “Okay, I will go pick Charlotte up, I will be right back,” I walked over to James and gave his a kiss on the cheek, he wasn’t paying attention since he was playing with a stuff elephant and a giraffe.

I drove down the familiar streets, remembering when I would hang out with Harrison and Tom. I parked in front of the Osterfield’s house and quickly sent her a message.

THe way back to your apartment you and Charlotte catch up. Only spoke about the important event leaving out James.

“Okay, we are here,” I parked the car and she stepped out. I had to lead the way and she followed up to the third floor, the first door to the left. “Morgan, Brianna we are here,” Charlotte and I went to the kitchen table. The usual spot you will find at least someone there. Morgan was sitting and got up giving Charlotte a hug, “you’ve got to try Morgan’s drink. It’s has cucumber with mint and some other stuff that is healthy for you,” she gave me a nod and I went to fill up a cup.

“Look at you, it has been months since we’ve last seen you,” I handed her the cup, she took a sip

“This is good. Does it have pomegranate?” Before Morgan could answer Brianna appeared from the hallway

“Morgan next time you will have to- oh hi, Charlotte, about time you’ve let us see you,” she handed James over to me as the both of them hugged each other. “How is school? Are you talking to any guys? How’s your family?”

“I’m doing good. I was talking to someone but I didn’t see him in that way, my family is good,” Charlotte looked over at me and then the James, “who is this cute guy? He is so cute, how old is he? His blue eyes make him so innocent, look at his rosy cheeks. I’m getting baby fever,” it’s now or never. She would find out sooner than later.

“This is James, my boy here is just one,” Charlotte spits back her drink on her cup and starts coughing. You looked over at Morgan she gave you a sign telling you to relax Brianna is patting her back

“Jesus. Deep breaths in,” Charlotte was coughing still trying to relax

“Wait-,” she cleared her throat, “is he yours?” Trying to catch her breath you gave her a nod, “he’s one. So a year ago, you were still with Harrison. He would’ve known you were- is he his?”

“Let’s sit down for this,” I make James sit but he wanted to get off the couch, “it’s my sisters kid, she dropped him off a few months ago. I think she knew she was going to drop him off because it has my name on the certificate. She told me to take care of him because she’s not in a position to be taking care of a child. I took him as my own. If people ask who’s kid it is just say mine, I don’t want people saying that it’s the child of the people who didn’t want him” she looks back at James

“Did you named him?”

“No, my sister did. If they ask who’s kid it is just say it’s mine. I don’t want him growing up and people telling him that his parents abandoned him”

“I won’t tell anyone,” Charlotte got up and walked to James she started to play with James. It went smoother than you thought it would go. “I thought you were going to say it was Haz, his name is James and Haz’s middle name is James”

“I don’t know, maybe she liked that name she named him after Harrison”

“What a coincidence”

—————

The whole day was spent inside which neither of you minded. She told me what has been going on in her like and I’ve been telling her what been going on in my life including the dramatic scenes at your parents house.

“Any guys?” Charlotte questions

“No, just work and school. Now I have work, school and baby”

“Can I ask you something else?” Charlotte looks at me seriously, I give her a nod, “do you still love my brother?”

“Honestly, I’ve always missed your brother and I still do. I’ve seen him around and made awkward encounterments”

“He’s an idiot. I’ll say that”

“I should’ve told him that we should work it out”

“What if it didn’t? I’m not an expert on relationships but I think it would’ve made both of your life’s easier if it just ended. Look at it now, it’s been a year since you two broke up, it would’ve taken a year for him to get back. Spending a lot of money just to visit him for a week or a month. You two get into a fight then what?”

“For a kid your age you sure have a lot of saying”

“I thought about it a lot,” a phone starts to vibrate, Charlotte looks down at her phone, “it’s Harrison, I can ignore it”

“No, it can be important,” she answered the phone

“hello… no, I’m with a friend… no I’m good. I don’t know. No, I can ask her if she can drop me off. Yes Harrison, bye,” she ended the call, “he’s been back for almost a week and I am already getting annoyed of him”

----------

Charlotte enters her house, she gets greeted by Monty. Both parents were still up watching a movie, “Hi, I am back,” dishes were dropped in the kitchen, “I am going to bed,” she was about to hear upstairs when she heard her name being called by Harrison

“Char,” she rolls her eyes, she looked over at Harrison

“Haz, I am tired”

“Is that her younger brother?”

“Who?” Charlotte tried to make it seem like she had no idea what he was saying

“The baby, who’s baby is it?” she stayed silent, “Charlotte, who’s baby is it?”

“It’s Y/N, is that what you want me to say?” Charlotte snapped a little

“What?” Both Brian and Phil spoke, obviously hearing the conversation

“What?” Harrison looked confused, “it’s-it’s hers? How-how old is he?”

“His name is James, she told me that he is one, but Haz it’s-” Harrison started to walk towards the front of the door, “Haz, listen it’s not what you think,” Charlotte tried stopping him, does he even know where she lives? Before she could say anything else Harrison was already out of the door.

“What do you mean it’s her kid?”

“So much for keeping it as a secret,” Charlotte mumbles sitting by her parents, “It’s not really her kid, it’s her sisters, she dropped him off with her and she claims the baby as hers because she doesn’t want people to be talking”

“I almost got a heart attack, I thought it was hers and she kept it as a secret from him,” Phil lets out a sign

“I think I made it worst, she moved to a different apartment”

“He probably went over to Tom’s, it’s not your fault, he just jumps to conclusion fast,” Brian tried to ease Charlotte up. Charlotte walked over to the kitchen and saw his phone was in the counter, she picked up the phone and unlocked it. He didn’t have a password which made it much easier for her to go through his phone. He got a message from Tom

‘Tom: If you still like her go talk to her’ ‘Tom: Tuwaine said that she moved to a different apartment building’

She closed the message app and went through his pictures, begging she wouldn’t see anything inappropriate, there were a lot of pictures of Y/N, smiling and laughing with her eyes closed, most of them were of both of them having a good time. He really misses her. Charlotte closed the photo app and set his phone back on the counter.

Tag list: @ixchel-9275 @holeyheckholland @scottyisthatyou

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tmnt-veelicious · 6 years

Text

Across the Stars - Ch.12

I am so incredibly sorry for the wait !!! So many shits happened recently and I had so little time to actually sit down and write anything ! I feel like the ending of that chapter is a bit rushed, but I was just getting tired at the end and I just want to get on with it ‘cause it’s gonna be fuuuuuuunnnn !!!! ANYWAY, HERE IT IS.

!! WARNING, NSFW (18+) STUFF HAPPENING HERE !!

First Chapter --> HERE Previous Chapter --> HERE Next Chapter --> HERE

There were two rules for tonight: No boyfriends. Lots of alcohol! April still kept her promise from Vee's birthday and both girls were now walking into a nightclub, the music's deep basses felt in the air. The surroundings were thick with heat and illuminated by the dancing spotlights. Tonight was all about them, their friendship and about forgetting every problems in the world. Drinks in hand, it didn't take long for both women to freely slip into the nightlife style, their bodies following the pulsing tones. It had been some years since Vee participated in such activity. In her early adult years she had seen and experienced many situations regarding that nocturnal lifestyle. Some were memorable, others right down terrifying, but overall it always provided her a view on how humanity could turn for the worst – or sometimes the best – in the absence of sunlight. Humans were nothing but animals, either preys or predators, lurking in the shadows and acting in forbidden ways. ''You know,'' started April as they both were on their third drink, sitting at a booth. ''We've been living together for almost a year now and I feel like there's still things you're hiding from me.'' Vee laughed, mostly dued to her drunk state. ''What could I tell more? My life is so boring anyway.'' ''What do you mean, boring?!'' replied the brunette back with a smirk. ''Not everyone can say they've fucked a mutant, that's special.'' ''SHHHsHshshhSHhh, don't say it outloud,'' tried to hush Vee, giggling. Their hilarity didn't last for long, the artist already back to her drink. April could notice some uneasiness from her friend, the reporter silently studying her. ''… Why did you leave your country? What's the real reason?'' Vee's smile faded for some seconds, everything so silent all of a sudden. She didn't really know how to answer, but words left her anyway: ''To get a fresh start, get a new life. Everything back home brought me down and it always reminded me of how pathetic I am. I had so many plans, hopes and dreams, but they all got crushed by unfortunate events and bad choices. My family wanted me to be someone I'm not and it tore me up inside...'' She emptied her glass, putting it down harshly. ''I can't stand living a boring, repetitive life. I can't stand doing the same work over and over again. What I want to do is stressful and highly unpredictable, but so rewarding in the end! … I want to create and let my imagination flow freely. What good is life if I can't?...'' April smirked, somehow glad to see this side of Vee. That inner fire, that desire. She knew the artist was passionate, but also knew that something was missing for her to fully accomplish her goals... She was about to speak when a frown invaded her features instead, spotting something in the crowd. Three guys were walking around, looking rather suspcious. One of them had a large purple dragon tattoo on his arm... Purple. THE PURPLE DRAGONS! April grasped Vee's arm, her eyes following the three men who were making their way to a dark corner of the club. The artist followed her gaze, frowning in concern. ''… What?'' she asked. ''It's the Purple Dragons! They're here! They're probably involved with the Foot Clan.'' ''Woah, woah, wooaahh,'' stopped Vee, visibly confused. ''First of all, who are they?'' ''They're a gang residing in Chinatown. We have to follow them!'' added April, already getting up, holding her phone out. Vee firmly held April's arm, stopping her. ''Hey! What do you think you're doing? If, like you said, they're involved with the Foot Clan, we can't just follow them. What if they catch us spying?'' The reporter pulled the other up, bringing her to follow her steps amongst the crowd. ''We have to see what they're up to,'' she said. ''The turtles need any clues we could find. I've agreed to help them and now I can't back up.'' ''For fuck's sake, April!'' complained Vee, still being dragged. ''We're both drunk, they'll spot us!'' Vee could feel her heart beating hard against her chest, visibly afraid. Soon both women found their way to a darker corner of the nightclub, lightspots rarely shining over there and the lighting dimmed out. April quickly studied the place before turning around to Vee, her eyes as big as plates. ''Oh my fucking god, Karai is here.'' ''… Wasn't she in prison?'' asked Vee. ''Yes! She must have escaped very recently or else Casey would have told me! What is she even doing here? This is bad...'' ''How much bad?'' ''Bad enough that if she spots me, we're in deep shit.'' ''Okay then, let's get out of here,'' hissed Vee through her gritted teeth. ''We have to take a picture first.'' Oh gosh, Vee wanted to shake her friend so bad. ''Are you out of your frickin' mind? We just have to tell the boys what we've seen and it'll be okay.'' April didn't listen to her, already opening the camera on her phone. ''April, for fuck's sake-'' ''They need to see who's surrounding her, they'll know who to look for,'' cut April. A flash exploded from her phone, revealing their presence. All heads were now turned towards both women, Karai easily spotting the brunette. She pointed in their direction, saying something to the others, probably commanding to capture both women... ''Run!'' urged April, pushing and dragging Vee another time. Vee had no time to think, going through the crowd as if running through dense vegetation. Everything seemed blurry, every sounds muffled dued to the immense stress and rush of adrenaline she was now feeling. She only had to look behind her once to know that they were being followed by a group of men, probably Foot Clan ninjas. Soon enough they were outside, still running. At some point Vee lost her high heels, not even caring as she knew she'd run better without them (although running barefeet in this cold weather was no ideal situation...). ''Over there!'' they heard someone shout. April, still holding Vee's hand, rushed towards an alley in hopes of finding a manhole cover. Her wish was granted as the shape of one stood out from the small layer of snow on the ground. ''Help me out!'' she told Vee as she started to lift it. Both women joined their efforts, soon the metal piece out of the way. Sound brought their attention, spotting the ninjas coming through the alleyway. Vee did not wait to jump in, rapidly followed by April, the girls back to running. The brunette had her phone out again, rapidly dialing a number. ''Leo! 5th and 23rd. We're in the sewers, followed by the Foot.'' Vee knew the reporter was calling for help and she couldn't be even more grateful. She thought they'd be running forever until April pulled her to a dark corner, motioning her to stay quiet. They could hear the Foot ninjas approaching, suddenly on their guard, knowing something was wrong as they couldn't hear the women running anymore. Vee couldn't breathe anymore, her whole self frozen in fear, hoping their hiding spot wouldn't get noticed. After what seemed like eternity, a strangled gasp escaped one of the men, suddenly disappearing in the shadows. The others were on high alert, their weapons out. A shuriken was thrown to attract their attention, Leo the first one to jump in and disarming one guy. Soon enough the whole gang was there, pushing the enemy away. Everything was happening in a flash, Vee getting to experience the turtles really fighting for the first time. Her gaze found Donnie in all this hell, a strong shiver going through her as she could witness his true strength. She got back to reality as she spotted Mikey next to her and April, urging them to follow him to safety. Her body was moving on its own, unable to focus as the only sounds invading her ears were crashes and screams. *** ''What the hell were you thinking?'' scolded Leo as they were back to the lair. April was already bringing up the picture she took at the nightclub, shoving it in the leader's face. ''We saw Karai! She got out of prison and she's with the Purple Dragons!'' He snatched the device out of her hands, still frowning: ''Still, what you did was foolish.'' ''So what?!'' replied April, annoyed. ''You asked for my help and I provided. I called you for help next, wasn't that good enough? What was I supposed to do?'' ''Call us BEFORE getting in trouble,'' said Leo, his tone rising. ''We could have gone there and handle things on our own. Now you've compromised this mission and Karai is out there, probably running away from us.'' He caught a smell of her state. ''… Plus you both are drunk, no wonder you fucked it up.'' ''We did the best we could,'' tried to add Vee, trying not to show that she was shaking. ''We didn't expect for them to show up there....'' ''Give 'em some slack, Leo,'' said Raph. ''They're safe now, there's no need to be angry.'' ''I don't give a fuck, they ruined all our efforts!'' Raphael didn't like his brother's tone, knowing this wasn't his habitual behavior. He was staring down the blue clad terrapin, his stance on the defensive. ''Calm the fuck down,'' he warned. Leo was about to replicate that another voice stopped him. ''Leonardo, come with me,'' said master Splinter, standing near the scene, lightly frowning and his tail nervously swinging. Tension seemed to escape the leader's body, letting out a sharp sigh as he followed his father away. A long silence invaded the group, Raph's posture finally relaxing. Mikey was the first to break the ice, letting out a low whistle: ''Wow, I think that's the first time I see Raph trying to calm down Leo.'' ''That's 'cause he's a dumbass,'' simply said the red clad mutant, walking away next. *** Donatello had been silent ever since they came back, but now that he and Vee were finally alone in his room, he couldn't stop. ''Are you hurt?'' ''What are you doing, walking around without shoes? You'll catch a cold!'' ''They didn't touch you, right?'' Vee didn't have time to answer any of his questions, the turtle examining her, next bringing a blanket around her, trying to keep her warm enough. She couldn't look straight at him, somehow ashamed. ''Leo was right,'' she finally was able to say. ''What we did was stupid...'' Donnie sighed, standing before Vee. He gently cupped her face, slightly tilting her head so she could meet his gaze. ''You're safe, that's all I need to know.'' ''Are you angry?'' asked the woman next. ''Against the Foot, yes. Against you, no. … April had good intentions, but both your inebriated state didn't help. It was all a serie of unfortunate events.'' ''I didn't even want to do that,'' added Vee, tears of rage escaping her. ''I wanted to go away, but she dragged me and I blindly followed. I- … I didn't know what to do.'' Many thoughts crossed the mutant's mind, frowning at such revelation. ''But now that it's done,'' continue Vee, ''I'll stand by her side. We were in this together and she's my friend. I won't let her take shit because of this. … Leo was being a dick back there.'' ''You have to understand; we've been trying to find clues about this whole affair for two months now. It doesn't look like it, but Leo's been stressed a lot these days...'' ''He shouldn't lash it all on us though!'' She couldn't stop her crying, visibly hurt. All her stress was finally falling down, both angry and ashamed. She could hear Donnie let out a soft churr, trying to soothe her as he left a kiss on top of her head, keeping her in his arms. ''He was scared, Vee, we all were,'' he said calmly. ''… You're both family, we'll always protect you. … I'll always protect you.'' A tired attempt at a chuckle escaped Vee, nuzzling the other's torso. ''I have no trouble believing that, you looked so badass back there,'' she commented. ''You can protect me anytime.'' A small giggle-snort escaped Donnie, nuzzling Vee's hair in return. When the woman looked back to him, she still had some tears flowing down, although a sweet smile was showing on her lips. ''It's funny...,'' she started. ''April was asking me earlier why I moved out of my country, why I came here. … At first I thought there was no special reason, that my life was simply boring, but now I wouldn't exchange any of this for nothing.'' She tried to wipe the wet traces on her cheeks. ''Sometimes it's scary and unpredictable, but as long as you're by my side, I feel like nothing could ever go wrong...'' He knew this would never be the case. Danger was always around the corner for the turtles and he knew Vee could one day become an easy target. He then vowed to himself that he would always protect her. He would do anything for her... *** Vee and April had stayed for the night at the lair, in case the Foot Clan was still on the lookout for them. The artist barely slept that night dued to insomnia, calling in sick at her job the next morning. April, on the other hand, left early, accompanied by Leo – the leader probably feeling bad about his outburst and wanting to apologize. Donnie couldn't be more pleased to have Vee by his side for the day, keeping things calm around her as the woman had a slight hangover. She was dressed for a lazy day: a spare pair of black leggings she had left in his room, a large shirt and her hair brought in a messy bun. It wasn't the best look, but she knew Donnie loved it as he showered her in kisses and compliments. The day had been slow so far, Donatello working on his computer as he tried to find clues about last night's encounter and Vee mindlessly drawing beside him. She watched him work for a while, unable to focus on her drawing. She couldn't help juggling a question in her mind, always curious about one detail ever since they started dating. She rolled her chair next to Donnie's, leaning on his desk so she could catch his eyes. ''Hey there, beautiful,'' she greeted, playful. The turtle stopped, his eyes round until he laughed a little after her comment. He took this moment as a reason for a break, leaning back into his chair, stretching a bit. ''I have a question.'' He paused, looking back at Vee, intrigued. ''Sure, what is it?'' The woman smiled softly, resting a cheek against her held up palm, studying her lover. ''… I noticed something whenever we're intimate. It's nothing big, at least that's what I'm guessing, but I do wonder.... You make that sort of purring sound. It's low, almost inaudible, but I can feel it. What is it? What does it mean?'' Donnie blushed, gulping as he tried to sit straight, his hand grabbing the woman's free one, trying to focus his thoughts as he caressed her skin. ''Uhm, well, … first of all it's called churring. It's a rumbling sound we make whenever we experience strong emotions, such as happiness or … arousal.'' ''Is it a sound that could entice or encourage sexual intercourse?'' asked Vee, curious. Donnie cleared his throat, trying to be as serious as she was. ''In a sense, yes. I wouldn't call it a mating call, but I do guess it could serve the purpose of arousing a partner.'' Vee frowned, pensive. Her eyes wandered for a moment, as if trying to search for something. When she finally looked back to the mutant, still frowning slightly, she sat straight, breathing in and finally exhaling slowly, a quiet growling sound rising in her throat and thorax as she kept her mouth shut. Donatello was surprised, moving towards the human, some amazement showing on his face as he cupped Vee's face. ''How did you do that?'' he asked, grinning. The woman giggled: ''I simply relaxed my vocal chords and opened up, thinking wide! When the air goes through them, the vibration is more intense and I try to go towards low sounds. … I guess singing helps about getting a better control.'' The turtle studied her features, his smile never fading. ''… Do it again,'' he said quietly. Vee laughed, then focusing, her low purr back again. She could feel Donnie's hands slowly study her jaw and neck, feeling her work. His touch lingered, his fingers like feathers on her skin... Soon his churr rose, accompanying the human's. They instinctively moved closer, the turtle still cupping the other's face. He slowly nuzzled her features, letting his vibrations run through her, their lips barely brushing against one another... A soft giggle escaped Vee. ''Doing it for too long tickles and now you're not helping,'' she said, amused. She could feel Donnie's smile against her skin, the turtle gently getting a hold of the woman's wrists and bringing her towards him, sitting her in his lap. His churr never stopped, now his movements slower, still nuzzling her features and leaving small kisses here and there. Vee closed her eyes, somehow surprised by this sudden tenderness, feeling an urge to be closer... She dared do her sound once more, the mutant replying with kisses on her neck, one hand lost in her hair and the other at her back. Sensing the vibrations in his thorax, the woman could only feel attraction, starting to experience a need, now that she knew what it meant. Donnie's chair was now facing his lab area, hiding the couple from the open space of the lair. He finally took the chance to bring his lips to hers, his desire growing with each seconds. He couldn't help feeling extreme arousal at that moment, knowing Vee's ability to produce such sound woke something primal in him. The woman shifted her position, now straddling and facing him, her hands never leaving his skin as they kept kissing. Donnie's hands found their place at her hips, gently moving her in a wave pattern, rubbing against his now present bulge. ''This is turning out to be an interesting experiment,'' commented Vee, taking back her breath. She exhaled with a new purr, the other humming in approval as he kept her close, his hands squeezing in need. ''This is driving me crazy right now,'' added Donatello, his voice mixed with his constant growl. He was about to lift Vee's shirt that the woman stopped him, looking over his chair for a moment. ''Not here,'' she lightly scolded, not hiding her small laugh. ''Your brothers are still around, somewhere.'' The turtle didn't answer, placing his arms under the human's ass, keeping her against him as he got up, grinning. Vee gasped, surprised, putting her arms around his neck, a soft giggle rising as the other made his way towards his bedroom. He didn't even look back once, his eyes planted on Vee, closing the door harshly with his foot, hurrying to a desk in his room, tossing what was on it and landing the woman on the surface. This time he did not wait to remove her shirt, his need telling him to rip off her bra, but his mind stopping him, preferring to be careful and unclapse it in one gesture. He didn't miss Vee's renewed gasps, her body leaning towards him, her thighs slightly squeezing his waist. The garment out of the way, Donnie's hands traveled to her sides, his thumbs massaging her breasts and nipples, getting a moan out of her in answer. He had never felt this dizzy, filled with the most pleasant sensations. Nuzzling her, taking her scent, he wanted to hear her forever, claim her as his own... One of his hands easily went to her core, under her leggings and underwear, stroking her out of pure lust. His mouth got to her neck, his kisses stronger, biting lightly by occasion. ''Oh, Don,'' breathed out Vee, lost in pleasure. She scratched his skin, mostly towards his hips. She was about to slid her hand under his pants that the mutant's stance shifted, lowering himself as he completely undressed the woman. He moved her legs apart, bringing her closer to the desk's edge, then approaching and licking her folds. A strangled gasp escaped Vee, her hands getting a hold of the mutant's head, unknowingly keeping him close as she bit her lip. Her fingers then traveled along his mask, grabbing the tails and wrapping them around her palms, keeping a certain control. The turtle's constant churr could be felt, augmenting each sensations, keeping the woman on a certain high. She began to roll her hips with his rhythm, her breathing echoing, translating her desire. She got her first orgasm as he kept doing circles around her clit, her second coming a little while after, as he tongue-fucked her. She felt numb, on a cloud, her voice a plaintive mess as she begged him to come back to her. Donnie did move, but he lightly pushed the woman so she would lay on the desk, his form then hunching over her, trailing kisses around her features before he got to her lips, their tongues brushing in a sensual pattern. The human could feel him thrust his bulge against her sex; eager, needy. The sensation was pleasant, but she could only whimper, pleading to feel him nearer, entirely... His rumbling got stronger, moving away for a slight moment only so he could unzip his pants and lower them a little with his boxers, freeing himself. He got a hold of his sex, rubbing its head against the woman's entrance, sighing at the sensation. His gaze was now dark, filled with lust, locking on the woman's face as he watched her hiss and moan, her body invaded by many feelings. ''Fuck me, Donnie, please,'' she sighed, lovesick. The turtle felt himself melt at the other's tone, a strong shiver going through him as he joined their bodies, a long moan leaving them both. His instincts told him to go fast, lose all restraint, but on the other hand he wanted to enjoy this, going slowly, hitting all the right spots. He rested the woman's legs against his torso and shoulders, his hands caressing them, squeezing her thighs from times to times. ''You feel so good, baby...'' he mumbled, rolling his hips against Vee's skin. The woman only answered in plaintive, mewling sounds, her hands lost in her hair, her torso stretching with pleasure. She let him enjoy himself for a while, but her inner fire was demanding for more... ''I wanna be on top of you,'' she said, lost in her feelings. ''Hmm, I wanna move faster, love.'' She could feel Donnie's chest rumble stronger, getting to a stop, leaving some kisses to her right ankle, trailing along her snowflakes tattoo, before he moved away from her and helped her down the desk. No words were needed as they moved to the bed, the mutant sitting down and his shell going against the wall, giving him support. Vee easily got over him, not wasting any time to grab his penis and guide him back into her, humming in pleasure. She landed her hands on the turtle's torso, moving her hips up and down in a sensual pattern, biting her lip as she felt the other's hands trail along her arms and body. Their breathings were soon following the same rhythm, the human's thrusts starting to gain speed, her lust rising once more. She sat straight after a while, grabbing her lover's hands, guiding one to her breasts, bringing the other to her face, kissing his palm. ''You fill me so good,'' she moaned, shifting his hand to her throat. She wanted him to feel her renewed purr, excite him more. That action simply brought the mutant to rise his knees, his hips slightly changing their angle, the woman obliged to move towards him, her torso against his. Donnie's arms went around her, emprisoning her. His pace caught on hers, but this time he went stronger, bringing out more cries from Vee. He nuzzled her hair, telling her how good she felt, how he loved to fuck her, that he wanted to keep her forever for himself... Nothing else existed at this very moment, both lovers' minds blank, lost in this pleasure. Donnie did notice a change in the woman's breathing pattern, indicating her nearing end. He focused on her voice, the feeling of her skin against his, the smell of her arousal. When he felt her clench around him, her body rubbing against him, he lost it all, his churr stronger than ever, a long moan leaving him by the same occasion. He rode the waves of his orgasm with long, sensual thrusts, his hands gently clawing the woman's back. He could barely come back to reason that he felt Vee's lips against his, her kiss slow and tender. Donnie felt relaxed, his mucles rid of any tension, leaving a hand behind the other's head, lost in her hair. Their kiss turned into frenching, that simple action surpassing any words or compliments. He did smile when he heard the woman hum in pleasure, next leaving his forehead against hers, his hands petting her all around. ''That was intense,'' she murmured, nuzzling his cheek. ''… I need to remind myself to do that sound whenever I want it this way, holy fuck.'' Donnie chuckled, then sighing tenderly as he hugged Vee closer. ''It was kind of strange to hear that sound coming from you,'' he started. ''I'm used to only hearing myself so I never mind that action.... But when you did it, it's like it switched something inside.'' ''Stay tuned for next week's episode of 'How to bang your mutant': learn how to churr your way into hot sex,'' commented Vee with amusement. This time the turtle exploded with laughter, the woman following his hilarity. Still laying on top of him, Vee sighed, her finger tracing random patterns on his torso, pensive as she showed a smirk. ''You know... you're really good for someone who's never had any relationship before. Are you a sex god by any chance?'' she asked half-jokingly. Donnie chuckled with a small snort, a slight blush appearing. He mumbled something, the words escaping the woman. ''… What?'' she questionned, squinting a little. ''I watched a lot of porn, okay?!'' confessed the mutant. ''I mean, that's all I could do, right?'' Vee snickered, first answering with a quick peck on her lover's cheek. ''There's nothing wrong with that! All I can say is that you learned well,'' she smiled. ''… What kind do you like to watch?'' ''Oh my god, we are NOT talking about that,'' laughed Donnie, suddenly embarassed. ''Why not?'' added Vee, still smiling sweetly. ''It's not a bad thing and there's most certainly nothing to be ashamed of. Personally, porn makes me laugh because sometimes I think it's over-acted and exaggerated, but that's just my personal taste. If you enjoy it, you do you.'' ''Oh stop being so open-minded!'' teased Donnie in a playful way. ''… You're just so perfect right now. I don't need any of those videos these days, you're all I need and wished for.'' He trailed some kisses on top of her head, seizing this moment to take in her scent, forever intoxicating... ''And for your information, I do like it soft,'' he murmured next with a light chuckle. Vee hummed, her hands slowly trailing around on his skin. The turtle did the same, a sigh escaping him as he gently caressed the woman's back. This moment of peace was more than welcomed, Donnie's thoughts finally setting down from this high he just experienced. The more his thoughts shifted, the more his touch slowed down, lightly frowning. Vee noticed that change, lifting her eyes to him. ''… What's wrong?'' she asked in a small voice. He seemed to realize how he must have looked, slightly shaking his head and the attempt of a smile coming on his lips. ''I just keep thinking,'' he started. ''… Being who I am, I'll never be able to offer you things humans normally do: going on dates, walking around in public while holding your hand, stuff like that... It keeps me wondering what can you possibly see in me.'' A light chuckle escaped Vee, making the other frown a little. ''I don't need all of that stuff,'' she said, one of her hands getting to his cheek, her thumb slowly brushing his skin. Her gaze could only translate her love. ''I don't need fancy dates, walks amongst busy crowds or anything like that. A date with you is spending precious time in your company, doing things we both love. … I'm not asking you to be a human, I'm asking you to be you.'' ''Won't you get tired, though? Won't you long to partake in such activities once more?'' ''Those things annoy me, to say the truth...'' Her eyes caught his, trying to understand his feelings. ''… Don't be scared about those things, Donnie,'' she reassured. ''I want to be with you. I love you... I love you so much,'' she ended calmly, nuzzling her nose against his cheek. She felt the turtle's arms tighten around her a little, a long sigh escaping him. ''… How could I ever be this lucky?'' he next said in hushed tones. ''Luck has nothing to do with it,'' added Vee. ''We were just meant to be.'' ''Still, there was a fifty percent chance that I'd finally kick my own butt and decide to meet you.... If I had decided not to go, I would have missed all of this, all of you.'' ''Don't think in numbers, think with your heart... One day or another, our paths would have crossed. I just know it.'' A small smirk showed on the turtle's lips: ''You know what needs to cross my path right now? … Poptarts.'' ''Oh dear.'' ''I have such a craving, it's unbelievable.'' ''You better share or else I'll hide the box!'' *** The dojo always was either a place of peace or a turbulence of strength, a brutal ocean. This time only the sounds of calm breaths filled the room, like constant waves caressing the shores. It wasn't rare nowadays for Vee and Leo to meditate together, both knowing this activity brought them peace of mind. Although that session didn't feel as comfortable as the others, especially knowing how things unfolded last night... Vee could sense some uneasiness coming out of the leader, even if he tried so hard to keep his composure. The artist could only breathe peacefully, trying to convey her feeling of calmness as the atmosphere felt like a tug-of-war inbetween the panicking terrapin and the afterglowing human. Frowning after a while, Vee decided to get up with a sigh, making her way towards the kitchen to grab the usual tea set and cups. When she returned, she placed the plateau right in front of Leo, sitting across, facing the leader. ''Speak,'' she simply said. As the mutant had kept his eyes closed, he then opened one, gazing down the woman with slight confusion. ''I'm not finished,'' he simply said, closing back his eye, trying to regain his posture. ''I'm unfortunately an empath and right now I know you're feeling shitty. Since I can't meditate in peace, it'll be the same for you. I won't leave you until you speak your mind.'' The blue clad turtle sighed deeply, looking back at Vee with an annoyed gaze. Although he knew she was right... He took the cup Vee handed him, taking a sip before he decided to talk. ''… I'm sorry, about last night.'' ''Donnie told me you were feeling stressed with this whole ordeal-'' ''Still, that doesn't excuse my attitude,'' he calmly cut. ''… Many emotions invaded me and I let them take the best out of me; that's not how I was taught to handle things.'' ''It's okay to have some slip ups from times to times,'' added Vee. Her fingers lightly tapped around her cup, pensive. ''… I understand how frustrating it can be to see something you've been working on for such a long time just go wrong, even for one little moment. I know what April and I did last night was foolish and dangerous, but it was all in good intentions.'' Leo stopped her, holding his palm up: ''I know, I know... April went through the same speech herself. … I appreciate both your efforts and your concerns, but now we need to focus on the future, about a plan, rather than get stuck in the past and its errors.'' Vee somehow looked defeated, unable to keep her gaze on the leader. ''Even if we came up with a plan, who knows if we'd be able to keep it? Personally, I know that when I'm facing danger, I either get stuck, unable to do any moves, or I snap and actually do something. … It's really hard to know how I'll react in certain situations.'' ''That's why my plan is to get you two out of any situation,'' replied Leo. ''Even April?'' questionned the artist, confused. ''I thought you guys needed her help.'' ''And we got it,'' lightly smiled the terrapin. ''Now that we know Karai is back, we can take it from here. April is no ninja, although she knows how to defend herself. … Karai is not like any low-life gang member. She has ressources and power; she won't hesitate to use any means to get to us, which might mean that she could use both of you as bait.'' ''Then what do you suggest?'' ''One of us will accompany you both at night when you get out of work and walk you home. We'll each have our turns.'' Vee couldn't help frowning, feeling some disbelief regarding Leo's idea. ''… Leo, you guys can't keep doing that forever, it's ridiculous!'' ''No it's not,'' he frowned in return. ''Have you at least told your brothers about this plan?'' ''Not yet, but I know they will agree to it, at least I know Donnie will.'' The woman sighed, leaving her cup down. ''Look … I know you have good intentions and it's appreciated, but I have the feeling this is getting out of hands. What next? We won't be able to get out our appartment without any of you guys? … Unfortunately, danger is at every corners of this city and we have to accept that reality. What about Mikasa? Will you also try to overprotect her?'' ''No need to bring her into this; she knows how to defend herself and she's not known to Karai.'' ''Then teach us, teach me how to defend myself. I'm willing to do it if it can ease your mind.'' Leonardo paused, seriously considering this idea. He finally smiled: ''I'm no sensei, I'm not ready to teach-'' ''Then I will,'' added another voice from the dojo's entrance. Both their gazes wandered to the newcomer, discovering that it was none other than master Splinter. Leo instantly got up, properly greeting his father with a respectful bow. ''Sensei … how long have you been listening?'' he asked, lightly ashamed. ''Long enough to hear about your plan,'' answered the rat, walking towards the duo. Vee got up too, to be polite. She stayed silent, waiting to see how things would unfold. ''You have a good heart,'' started Splinter, leaving a hand on his son's forearm gently. ''But Vee is right; you won't be able to do this forever. Overprotecting won't prevent things from going wrong. Remember how you and your brothers disobeyed me and went above ground without my permission....'' Leo smiled once more to this thought, but was quick to regain a serious composure. ''I'm just trying to protect my family,'' he quietly said. ''And it is not a bad thing! But what you need to learn now is to trust them. … I trust that you will be able to protect them, but you must believe that they'll be able to do the same for themselves and even for you.'' The terrapin inhaled slowly, weighing his father's words. He finally let out a sharp puff, hands on his hips as he glanced between the rat and the human. ''Okay then, train her. See what you can do, but let me – let us protect them until she's able to defend herself properly, April included.'' Vee felt victorious, but she lowkey knew it would take time for her to get to an acceptable level for the leader. April would easily succeed while the artist would most certainly struggle at some points. It was only best to try at that point!

#chapter #fanfic #fanfiction #tmnt #tmnt 2014 #tmnt 2016 #tmnt donatello #tmnt leonardo #tmnt raphael #tmnt michelangelo #selfinsert #oc #fancharacter #donatello x selfinsert #donatello x oc

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sin-binboi · 6 years

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Mikey Was Walking to the Kitchen To Make himself Some Delicious Coffee, Fresh And Milky! He was Chatting with Ice Cream Kitty, Smiling proudly at His Proud Assistant and Pet. "you Should've SEEN How Ugly She Looked form Behind Kitty!" Mikey was Laughing "She Literally Had a Sack of Potatoes in a fucking Dress! It was HILARIOUS!" Mikey Laughed as Ice cream Kitty was Smiling. Stuff's Been Rough for him. First his father leaving Him With PTSD, then His Brothers, it was Pleasant to see him Smiling. It was Going Just Fi- "Watch your Mouth Next time Wil Ya?" That Voice, Made Mikey's Whole Day Change. He Growled Low, Almost broke the cup he was holding, His Eyes Grew Cold, And He felt Anger boiled."Raph...." Mikey said, Low and Cold Not looking at him Raph walked up to Mikey and Nudged Him "So Mikey-Wikey How's it feels getting your Baby Bottle, eh?" he Shoved Mikey a tiny bit, Being Playful in the push. "Fuck. Off." Mikey said Stern. trying His best Not to take the Nun-chuck's Blade and Slice this Dude's throat Raph Looked at him, Snickering. "Mikey Please.-" "Mikey Please My Ass." He said, Getting More Angry "Not Get your No-good-out-of-shape-ass Out of Here." He said, As Ice cream Kitty tried to calm Mikey down. Raph Kept going "What if I don't Want to???" That took it. Mikey Grabbed The Boiling Hot coffee Pot And Smashed It Into Raph's Face, Causing Raph to Scream, Mikey's Coffee to Drop and the glass Shatter, And Ice Cream Kitty jumping near the Coffee Maker, Watching the Two Brothers Fight and throw Words. Mikey was Ontop of raph Chocking him "YOU FUCKING BITCH!" Mikey Only saw Red, Everything Boiled......Everything If Leo, Donnie, and Casey and April didn't break the two up, Mikey would've Killed him. Raph Tried to hit Mikey, but Had His Arms Gripped on "THE FUCK IS YOUR FUCKING PROBLEM!?!" He Yelled Mikey Spitted Out "YOU! FUCKING BITCH!" Mikey Almost broke free and Nearly tripped Donnie, but thankfully donnie stood. The Two were Separated, Leaving Ice cream Kitty, growing Worried about Mikey "Mikey? can we talk" Leo Said Looking at him worried Mikey Closed His book he was reading, Looking up Annoyed "Yes." He said, Super Cold, That It Made Leo Jumped. Leo cleared his throat "Um..So. Mikey." He said Not to be awkward, But Mikey's cold glare Shook him "How's Everythi-" "Pretty Good. I am reading a Book on Electronics" He said, Looking at his book and Not at his brother. Leo Looked at it "Oh.....kay...." He said Scratching his head Leo continued "So Mikey How Have you Been?" Mikey was reading at this Point "I Have Been Good. I talked to April 20 minutes ago, Fed Ice Cream Kitty Her treat, And Currently Reading My Book. Now if that's All you're asking to Distract me Than Please" He said reading Leo was offended "What? Mikey No-" Mikey Jolted up "you think I don't know what the fuck you're doing Leo?" he said Loud and Bitter "Why the fuck do you Even FUCKING TRY??? " Mikey Slammed His Book on the Ground " I DON'T WANT TO BE WITH YOU GUYS! I JUST WANT TO BE ALONE! " Leo Yelled Back "We Barely Even SEE you! You Legit Left Us Yesterday Without Even Telling us! And As your Brother and Leader-" " BROTHER AND LEADER MY ASS! " Mikey Yelled " GOD YOU GUYS ARE FUCKING SUFFERING! " Mikey and Leo didn't Notice, but The group Piled around the door leo Yelled back "Mikey! Please! Calm Down!" Mikey Yelled Almost getting closer to Leo "CALM DOWN MY ASS! YOU DON'T TELL ME WHAT TO DO! SO HOW ABOUT SHOVE YOUR SWORD UP YOUR BLUE ASS!" Leo Sighed And Looked at mikey. He noticed the group, but didn't look at them "Mikey Please Calm Down.. Can't we talk Like Normal Brothers?" Mikey, On the Bright Side, Only calmed a Little, but Still had the Loud Cold Voice "Well Leonardo, Firstly, We Aren't Brothers, We're Not Even Blood related. And Don't Tell Me to Calm down, I'm not your Slut." Leo Jolted "I didn't say that Mikey!" Mikey Looked right through him "Sure does Sound Like it" 1-2: More Headsets ~~My Favorite Is Spike~~ I’m Hella Redesigning The Cheese Sandwich One, Very Off IMO And Not my Taste :/

3: This Picture was for My 3rd Class! And since I Love luna and Not celestia I decided to draw Luna cause I’m a proud Luna Fan <3 (Sorry celestia fans; She just sucks IMO)

4: My Baby, His Name is Michael (Michael Bryant Jr.III Full Name) He Might be Old, But He’s Still Going Strong! (He had him for around 5 years and He’s a Proud little member of our Family) He’s been getting out of his shell A Lot Lately. He’s Been to the Vet thankfully, And That vet trip Gave him wonders. Which Makes me very happy. He’s Now Squeaking, He’s Always going towards Us (Always Kissing someone. Cute fucker.) And He’s Just Like a human family member XD

5. Art-that-was-never-colored-so-call-it-Lineart-Art Picture Of Mikey. tbh He’s My Favorite Ninja Turtle and I Love him <3

6. TMNT Cracked!Verse! Mikey Has a LOT going on! I’ll Copy and Paste some Backstory, And Dialogue that I typed on discord to my bestie <3

Name: Michelangelo Hamato -Mikey- Nickname: Shell-fur-Brains (Brothers) Mike (April ONLY) Mikester (Casey) Build: His Average Height Parents: ????? (Biological) Master Splinter (Adopted) Bio: (Might Be Long XD) Michelangelo Hamato, or for short, Mikey. Is the Youngest of the Crew. The Holder Of Nun-chucks, The Heart of the Family, And Mostly, The Fun in the Family. Mikey Was always Pranking, Being Silly on Missions (All Missions Need fun!), Doesn't really Listen to his Brothers, And Mostly, Be Himself. He Had a Loving family, April and Casey, things Were going Well. Until that One fateful Night, The Death of His father and Master, Splinter. It Might've Not looked like it, But He was a Changed Turtle. He Stopped his Pranking, Stop being funny, Being Silly. It Left him With a Strong Post-Traumatic-Stress Disorder. Which Also Mixed in with His Brothers Words (All the words they call him tbh). After that, he did What they wanted him to do....."Grow up" And He did. Hell, He did QUICK! He turned Silent, Mute, Cold and Harsh If Angered, Left without Notice, And Even Changed the world Around him. It was Grey, reliving the death of His father, The times He Messed up pretty Badly, Everything Swarmed.The Only One He talks to, Is His Loyal Pet Ice Cream kitty. She's the Only One He'll vent to if His Brothers Piss him off. He Also Gotten a Very Very VERY Foul Mouth, And Does Not Hesitate to throw An Insult, threat, Heck! He'll Point Out One thing Wrong on you! This Leads to his Brother Being On His Shell 24/7, Him Leaving And Staying Gone for a Long time, And Even Locking himself in a room Just to not be Bothered. This Went on and on Until He Had Enough. He Packed his Belongings, Grabbed Ice Cream Kitty, And Left without a trace. The Family was In Look for him all around! The Sewers, Pizza Place, Everything! Even the Rooftops! First a Day, Then a Week, And Then A Month. No Contact. He didn't bring His T-Phone (Smart Bastard!) He Left it, which REALLY didn't Work. It was a Miracle When Mikey Came Back, but With Scars on his body. Turns out He was In a LOOOOOOT Of fights. This Lead to Arguing, Yelling, And It Ended Horribly. So finally. Mikey Used all his Smartness, All the Stuff he Knows, And Made a Small Creation. He called it "The Ranger". It Mostly Disguises himself into Anything He Pleases. And Even Collecting Spirits for his Own Use! The Only one He's not mad with are April and Casey. But Mostly April April Hung around him when she catches him leaving and come With. This Lead to April Crushing on him Super Hard. Mikey returns the feelings, And Shows by smiles, And Winks. Also Hugs! if Mikey is in the Mood! Donnie Also is a Salty Hoe for the crush. Raph And Mikey Fight a Lot to where Weapons are drawn Leo Being the Leader, Takes it calm, Which Pleases Mikey some, though he's still annoyed

"Mikey? can we talk" Leo Said Looking at him worried Mikey Closed His book he was reading, Looking up Annoyed "Yes." He said, Super Cold, That It Made Leo Jumped. Leo cleared his throat "Um..So. Mikey." He said Not to be awkward, But Mikey's cold glare Shook him "How's Everythi-" "Pretty Good. I am reading a Book on Electronics" He said, Looking at his book and Not at his brother. Leo Looked at it "Oh.....kay...." He said Scratching his head Leo continued "So Mikey How Have you Been?" Mikey was reading at this Point "I Have Been Good. I talked to April 20 minutes ago, Fed Ice Cream Kitty Her treat, And Currently Reading My Book. Now if that's All you're asking to Distract me Than Please" He said reading Leo was offended "What? Mikey No-" Mikey Jolted up "you think I don't know what the fuck you're doing Leo?" he said Loud and Bitter "Why the fuck do you Even FUCKING TRY??? " Mikey Slammed His Book on the Ground " I DON'T WANT TO BE WITH YOU GUYS! I JUST WANT TO BE ALONE! " Leo Yelled Back "We Barely Even SEE you! You Legit Left Us Yesterday Without Even Telling us! And As your Brother and Leader-" " BROTHER AND LEADER MY ASS! " Mikey Yelled " GOD YOU GUYS ARE FUCKING SUFFERING! " Mikey and Leo didn't Notice, but The group Piled around the door leo Yelled back "Mikey! Please! Calm Down!" Mikey Yelled Almost getting closer to Leo "CALM DOWN MY ASS! YOU DON'T TELL ME WHAT TO DO! SO HOW ABOUT SHOVE YOUR SWORD UP YOUR BLUE ASS!" Leo Sighed And Looked at mikey. He noticed the group, but didn't look at them "Mikey Please Calm Down.. Can't we talk Like Normal Brothers?" Mikey, On the Bright Side, Only calmed a Little, but Still had the Loud Cold Voice "Well Leonardo, Firstly, We Aren't Brothers, We're Not Even Blood related. And Don't Tell Me to Calm down, I'm not your Slut." Leo Jolted "I didn't say that Mikey!" Mikey Looked right through him "Sure does Sound Like it" Mikey Put on his Hoodie and Left the Shelter. Those Bastard Pissed him off enough, he need Fresh air. Finally He got to the Surface, And Sat on the Edge, Looking at People Passing by. He Grabbed a Ball On the roof and Threw It at a Moving Car. He didn't give two fucks. "Y'know, You Shouldn't do that Mikey" A Soft voice came from behind him Mikey felt a Small Smile on his face "Well? Not Like They Know it was me" He turned, Seeing April Looking down at him April sat Beside him "you really got into it with Raph today Mikey. you Legit Had him in a choke-hole." She said Mikey Shrugged "He'll walk it off." April sighed and shook her head "Mikeeeyyyyy-" Mikey rolled his Eyes "He made me mad, I Fought Him." April sighed "I know raph can be mean all the time. but Lord you Had him Blue and Purple By the face!" She Punched His Arm Mikey Smirked And Playfully said "Oops." April Rolled her eyes, Looking at mikey. His Eyes.........A Beautiful Blue-Grey.......So Hot- I Mean Cool! She felt her Face Heat up Mikey Looked at her "you Look Like If Raph Had a Period And Pissed on your Face" April Smacked his Cheek "Shut up!" She Said squeaking Mikey Laughed Shortly "Ow" He said Playfully.

Fixed Minor Mistakes in my Spelling (It’s not the best)

Aaaand Have a Small thing

He's The King of his Own Kingdom Under the Sea and He Had Legit Everything and I mean EVERYTHING

6. Mikeeeyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyy Cracked!verse Addition <3 aaa He was fun to sketch XD

#mikeytmnt #Cracked!verse #Dialogue #Sketches #WIPs #Swearing in Dialogue #Princess Luna #Luna is Bae

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yourfaithfulsidekick · 6 years

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COMPLETED. This was my first TMNT long-fanfic series! I started this WAY back in 2012 and finished it summer 2017 [yeah....I went on a 2 year hiatus it was bad]. But, it stuck with me. This story truly was a coping skill itself as it got me through a lot. When I first wrote it, until the last chapter-- it was a ride! If you’re interested, check out chapter 1 below and the link for the full story! Thank you!

"Again!"

Man, what I'd do for a nice large pepperoni pizza right about now… Michelangelo smiled at the thought of the delicious masterpiece. Immediately his mind began ticking at the thought of what he could conjure up. Obviously it'll have a ton of cheese! Maybe I could make- HAWAIAN! Now that's a pizza that'll-!

"Focus, Michelangelo!"

Oh, shell! Shaking his hungry mind, Mikey realized that he was now sitting on his shell, sprawled out on the ground. Looking up, Mikey was shot with his infamous brother's death glare. Oh, Leo. I swear, this dude practices how to rip through my soul in his mirror.

"That's the third time this week I won in less than ten minutes, Michelangelo." Leonardo said, scoffing the dirt off his knuckles. He sighed as he reached his hand out to his youngest brother, "How many times do I have to tell you to keep your mind on one thing? More specifically, your training?"

"Uh," Mikey smiled weakly, accepting his brother's hand as he lifted him up. "Just today or this week? Cause' if it was today I think it's about...the third? And if was the week well I really wasn't thinking of keeping score of-!"

"Oh come on, Raph! That was totally uncalled for!"

"Don't be such a sour puss, Don."

"What now?" Leonardo mumbled to himself as he rubbed his forehead. Lately all of his brothers have been a source of both migraines and ulcers. He shook his head as he stormed over to his brothers. Stopping in his tracks, he turned around and said, "You stay here, Mike."

Karai has been awfully quiet for the past few months, the Purple Dragons haven't made any big moves, and the Foot has yet to steep out on the streets since the fall of the Shredder. The pressure of danger popping up, maybe even stronger, at any point pushed Splinter to train his sons much harder. Of course, Leo took Splinter's intentions to heart. Maybe a little too hard, for Leo's sake!

If he were human, he was sure that his oldest brother would have a hair full of grey hair at this point.

Uh-oh! Leo looks even more ticked off than usual! Maybe if I just sneak past using my Battle Nexus Champion ninja skills… Michelangelo watched Leo turn to face the other side of the dojo where Raphael had Donatello in a headlock, shouting something about winning fair and square. Smiling to himself, he took complete full advantage of his situation. Tip-Toeing his way toward the door of the dojo, Mikey could hear Leo and Raph bickering over Don's cries to be released. This was his big break-!

Making a sprint to his bedroom, Michelangelo can't help but embrace the adrenaline rush that consumed him. Pushing himself to run as fast as he could, he finally reached his bedroom door. Shutting it behind him, he sighed of relief. Ha! Made it out alive! Go Mikey, go Mikey! Go! Go!

A loud knocking echoing outside his door interrupted his exhilaration. Oh, Shell. "Michelangelo!" Leonardo was back again for the kill -this time, his voice full blown with authority. "Your training is over when I say so! Get out here right now and finish!"

"Geez, Leo, calm your katanas." Lowering his head in defeat, Mikey opened his door. Before Mikey could plea to his big brother, Leo slapped his brother across the side of his head. Before Mikey could cry out, he suddenly felt his arm being dragged out of his room and down back to the dojo.

"Aw, come on, Leo!" Mikey cried, (failingly) attempting to get out of his brother's grasp. "I'm sorry! Next time I-!"

"This won't happen again." Leo said sternly, giving him a shove into the dojo. Inside, Raph and Don were already waiting. There, Don is leaning against one side of the wall, and Raph being on the other- both his older brothers pouting in their own corners.

"Alright," Leo began, clearing his throat. "Everyone's behavior has been unacceptable these past few days-."

"We don't need a lecture, Fearless." Raph grunted. "Especially from you." Mikey bit his lip to the growing tension in the small room. Lately, things weren't very peachy between him and his brothers. Hell, even Donnie is acting up!

Leo, after Splinter fell ill earlier in the month, took the role of being head of the house. As if Leo wasn't already- er- besides Master Splinter of course! In Mikey's eyes, this meant Leo's big brother's aura/lecture/talks have increased a good fifty percent. Leo has become even stricter with his brothers than usual. Sure, Leo wasn't fond of Raph going up to the surface with Casey some nights. It wasn't until recently when Leo became more persistent with Raph about his time out, with or without Casey. But it wasn't just Raph getting the wrath.

Don, being in his lab even more often than usual, has focused solely on helping Master Splinter have a speedy recovery and his usual calibrations. Master Splinter insists that he just has a simple cold, nothing for his sons to fret over. Of course, Don being his own perfectionist, convinced himself to run every test on his father as possible- just to be safe. Even Michelangelo knew that once Don was head into a project, there would be nothing to snap his head out of it until he was through. Leo, knowing how hard his brother pushes, attempts to pull his brother out of his lab and train more. More like force him to train.

"Believe it or not, I'm going to agree with Raph on this one." Don sighed. "We did everything you asked Leo, it's only morning practice. There's no need to push so hard-."

"No need?" Leo hissed, clenching his hand to his katana.

Oh, shell. Well, yup, aaaand Leo has officially cracked.

Mikey took a step back as Leo walked up to Don. Getting face to face with his younger brother, Leo said, "Karai can be out there planning a way to get back at us!"

Mikey could tell that his oldest brother was trying to hide any emotion in his voice. In a way, he always felt bad for Leo. It was very, very, rare that he'd see Leo calm down and just hang out with them. He tried to recall the last time he just joked and played with his brother. Were we 10? 12?

Leonardo looked over to the rest of his brothers as he continued on. "You think that you'll be able to fight off an entire Foot elite? You think you're strong enough to face Karai?"

"We know you aren't."

Wait; scratch that, now Leo has cracked. Oh, come on, Raph! Michelangelo slapped his forehead as Don cursed under his breath. Well, this is it. It was great knowing my brothers.

Silence fell onto the room.

Donatello stood helplessly in front of Leonardo. Leonardo's head snapped over to Raphael, still clutching his katanas tightly. Donatello placed his hand on Leo's shoulder, gripping it firmly to keep him in his place.

If Raph and Leo don't kill each other now, than the tension in this room will! I totally got to stop it-! Mikey stepped in between Raph and Leo as he put his arms outward toward each of them. Forcing his trademark grin, he coughed a chuckle, "Okay, dudes, look, we're all tired, pretty ticked off and maaaybe even hungry? Let's part on friendly terms, eat some pizza, say our sorries and call it a day!"

Silence fell again.

Mikey darted his eyes to each of his brothers, still attempting to keep a smile. Raph, on his right, was standing firm with his arm crossed. His eyes locked onto Leo's, irritation oozing from his glare. Looking to his left, Leo had the same glance to Raph. Don stood on Leo's right, still holding Leo's shoulder for dear life. Don, being the only one who was looking at Mikey, simply shook his head. Mikey bit his lip as he desperately looked to his brother. Come on, Don! Give me a hand here!

Knowing Don, being the most peaceful one out of them, he probably won't step in until Raph and Leo pull each other's heads off. Leaving Mikey going solo.

Forcing a more cheerful smile, Mikey clapped his hands together. "Okay, then! I'll start then! Leo, bro, I'm sorry I ran off to my room to hide from your demon like wrath and for probably pissing you off even more- BUT, anyway, I am sorry! Now, Raph, apologize for being mean to Leo."

"I ain't apologizin' for shit."

"GOOD APOLOGY, Raphie-!" Mikey smiled, attempting to cut Raph off. "I can almost feel the emotion of sympathy flowing in the wind! Now, Don, you apologize for talking back to Leo!"

Don, rolling his eyes, knew to play along with Mikey's game- or else he won't stop the charade. His voice monotone, he squeezed Leo's shoulder. "I'm sorry for talking back to you, Leo."

"There ya go!" Mikey smiled. His plan was working! Er, well, Raph is too proud for that anyway. I think I even see Leo lighting up a little! Smiling to Leo, he pointed to his oldest brother. "Now, Leo, it's your turn! Apologize for being so strict and fatherly and dominating over us!"

Raphael chuckled as Donatello slapped his forehead. Oops. That one was my bad.

"You're absolutely right, Michelangelo." Leo smirked, deep blue eyes beginning to grow even more intense. He forced a laugh as he continued sarcastically, "Wow! I'm sorry that I'm only just looking out for each of you. Oh, wait! I am so sorry for making you guys train harder so that when you go out in a fight, you won't come back as many times as you've all been hurt. But, I am mostly sorry for being so fatherly. I didn't think caring about my brothers' safety and protection could be so awful."

"You're so full of yourself, Fearless." Raph hissed, stepping closer to his older brother. "You think just cause' Master Splinter has a tiny cold you think you could play master! Well guess what? Yer no master-!"

Brushing Don off his shoulder, Leo stepped closer to Raph. His voice raises higher, the emotion no longer hiding. "Coming from the guy who goes out every night just to feel more tougher and stronger! How does that protect this family?"

"Stop!" Mikey cried, stepping in between his brothers. "C-Come on, guys! I know how much you guys love proving each other wrong but-!"

"Stay out of this, Mike." Raphael warned, shoving his brother to the side.

"Guys, come on." Donatello took a try at stopping his older brothers. "At this rate you two are going to wake Sensei. And he needs all the rest he can."

Ooooh the guilt card! Nicely done, Donnie! Leonardo hesitantly backed away from Raphael and nodded. "Fine. We're done for now."

"Finally!" Grabbing Raphael's arm, Mikey attempted to tug his arm toward the door. "How about we play some Resident Evil, Raph? We always make a good team-!"

"Yer leave me to die and take all the ammo," Raphael shook out of his little brother's grip, "no way in hell am I playin'."

"Aw, come on!" Mikey pleaded, watching his brother stroll to his room. And once he's in there he ain't coming out until dinner...Maybe Don will play with me!

Adrenaline rushed through him as he skipped his way to Don, who was cleaning up the dojo. "Donnie!" Mikey tackled his brother, putting his arm around Don's shoulder. "How about we play? I'll let you be the cool dude and I'll be the chick!"

Half-laughing, Don removed his brother's arm off his shoulder. "Can't, Mikey. I got to check in on Splinter and call April to pick up more medicine." Making his way out of the dojo, he looked back to his youngest brother and smiled slightly. "Maybe you could check in on Leo. You do owe him an apology, you were pretty harsh on him."

"ME?!" Mikey squeaked, raising his hands in the air. Before he could defend himself, Donatello was already gone. Sighing in defeat, Mikey slouched his back and dragged his feet back in the hallway.

Plopping himself on the floor, he leaned his shell against the wall. Pulling his knees up to his chest, he rested his head on his knees. This wasn't the first time he felt that all his brothers were completely against him. Shell, all I wanted to do was help. That's what I…always wanted to do. Why can't his brothers see past that?

I-I know I like to play jokes and act like an idiot sometimes…but don't they see that I'm not an idiot? O-Or do they really see me as just…that. No. Mikey shook off his deep thoughts and pulled himself back up on his feet. There was no way he would let his family see him this way. They'll just think he's whining again for attention.

B-But, I don't! I just…want to make things right for once.

And he knew jus where to start!

Mike quickly paced himself over to Leo's room. His door was completely shut. Biting his lip, Mikey hesitated knocking. Leo usually never keeps his door totally closed, that is, unless he wants privacy. But Donnie's right…

Mikey did his traditional knocking; knocking twice, then again three times. "Leo? Its me…can we talk for a second or are you sleeping or meditating or-."

Leonardo slowly opened the door halfway, leaning himself against the door frame. His arms crossed, he cleared his throat. His eyes finally reaching his little brother's, Mikey was taken back by the look his oldest had. He was exhausted- whether it was mentally or physically (shell, or even both) he couldn't tell.

"H-Huh?" Mikey snapped out of his dazed thoughts and looked back up at Leo. "OH- uh- look, Leo, I'm…sorry about picking on you before. I totally get how freaked out you are over this-."

"As should you." Leo cut off, his voice becoming deeper with authority. "Remember what I told you at the Battle Nexus? If one of us goes down, we all go down. You need to pick up your slack or…" His voice faded as he looked to the ground, then immediately back up. "…or we will go down too."

"What are you sayin', bro?"

"I'm saying…that if you don't stop fooling around and focus on training with me and the others, we can't trust you in a fight."

"Can't trust me?!" Michelangelo echoed, hurt piercing his voice. His brothers, brothers, believed that he'd be nothing but… "You guys think I'm just some kind of…liability to you guys…?"

"I didn't say you were one, Mikey." Leo placed his hand on his youngest shoulder. His voice becoming more comforting. "I'm saying, if you keep slacking off and not working with all of us…then yeah, you're putting us in danger too. And as the leader, I'm not putting Raph and Don in danger too."

What the shell? L-Leo really sees me as that much of a weakness that I put Raph and Donnie in trouble..?

"L-Leo, come on." Mike pleaded, starting to back away from his brother's reach. "I-I mean I joke around with you guys but, when we train I do my part and get it done! Okay, maybe sometimes I get distracted easily a-and I tick you guys off, but I work!"

"Mike!" Leo exclaimed. "Just…get your act straight. I'm not going to tell you again." And with that, Leonardo shut his door. Leaving his youngest drowning in his own brother's words…

./././././././././.

Shutting his eyes tight, he could have swore he heard his brother choke a sob. Sure, his brother was the most sensitive out of them all. And yeah, he took any criticism to heart at times, even while covering it with a joke. But he did it for the best…right?

Leonardo collapsed on his bedside, staring up at his ceiling. When did things get so crazy? Sensei…I-I don't think I can handle all of this not-.

"I trust you, my son. You know your brothers well. You will take care of them. Have faith, Leonardo. Just as I have faith in you."

His heart clenched as his father's words swam around his already filled mind. He knew Raphael was already completely fed up with him, Donatello was too stressed over Splinter's condition, and Mikey…is just in his own world.

At least there, Leonardo knew Mikey didn't have to have the burden of worrying over anything. He can just be himself, laughing, goofing off, cracking jokes, and just acting like things were just the same as they were.

He needs to realize the truth…

Even if it hurts him.

#tmnt fanfic #tmnt fanfiction #tmnt 2003 #my fics #A turtle & his sisyphus #teenage mutant ninja turtles fanfiction #tmnt mikey #tmnt leo #tmnt raph #tmnt donnie

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tmntxreader · 7 years

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Welcome to the family!

Request: x Pairing: April x Fem!Reader Note: oh.. hey there, It’s been a while since I’ve posted!! So as an apology, have some gay - I had so much fun writing this, definitely something that’s gotten me back into writing for this fandom. Hope ya’ll like it!!

You knew about the turtles, April told you when she was panicking a while back trying to get a story on them - honestly? You believed her from the very beginning. When she told you their true history, their names and how she had come to love them as family, you wanted to meet them - you were her girlfriend, so if she loved them you wanted to meet them and be apart of every aspect of her life. She was shocked when you pitched the idea, but then she grinned happily, attacking you with kisses on the face and saying she’d surprise them with a new face.

“I’ve told them I’m with someone, but never went into detail” she smiled, tracing little mindless patterns into your hand “I wanted them to meet you, you know? I’m just.... so glad you want to meet them, you’re gonna love them!”

Now you were here, holding onto her hand tightly as you walked through the sewers - you were nervous, your heart was hammering in your chest and you were pretty sure your palms were sweating... they were mutants after all.

“I’m only here because I love you" you stated simply, April couldn’t help but laugh and kiss your cheek.

“Relax, babe - I promise you’re going to love them, and they’ll love you”

Finally you got to the end of the sewers, you were greeted with a very nice looking liar - it looked like a damn playground! From the corner of your eye you could see Casey and Vernon - both playing on what seemed to be a pinball machine.

“You owe me 40 bucks, baby shirt!” Vernon announced, you couldn’t help but grin. You’re glad that nickname stuck.

“Hey guys” April greeted, pulling you along gently as you walked over to them - oh god you were going deeper in, you couldn’t do this - you wanted to cry. “Where are the guys?”

“training, should be finishing up now” Casey informed, then he finally looked up from the machine and looked at you shocked - “Oh, hi...(y/n), what’re you doing here....?” they both looked at you, you weren’t close with them - just small little meet ups with them and April when you weren’t busy - so you were still a little awkward around them.

“I’m here to introduce my girlfriend to my family” you eyes widened, you never actually told them about you dating - there was never any reason to. You both found it funny when guys hit on either of you - so it looks like everything was happening today.

“your... wait what?”

you giggled nervously and looked up at April with love stuck eyes, yep, your girlfriend... “Hi...”

“owch, you owe me another 30, I am making money tonight”

“Goddamn it!”

~~~~

It was a while before the turtles showed themselves, that time was spent April trying to calm you down and Casey and Vernon arguing about the serious debt Casey was now in. You jumped when you heard the sliding door open and saw four turtles and a rat walk out the door, you made a weird noise in the back of your throat- part of you wanted to cry, the other wanted to smack past you for pitching the idea.

“umm... whose this?” Leo said warily, now catching the attention of the rest of the mutants who looked at you suspiciously -

“Oh, another human!” Mikey yelled happily, however the one in the red shot him another warning look - you think he was Raph? yeah, he must be - purple was Donnie, oh god this was hell.

“April, why have you invited a stranger into our home?” Splinter spoke calmly yet his voice was on edge, razor sharp, and you wanted to run. April tugged on your hand so you would both walk close to them, you didn’t know which one to look at, so you opt for looking at April who just smiled warmly at you - trying hard to ease your nerves.

“I’m sorry for not calling before hand, but I just wanted it to be a surprise!” she giggled, which seemed to cause the others to raise eyebrows at her and you - “This is (y/n), my girlfriend”

You waved pathetically, smiling at the four brothers and the rat. “Hi, its nice to meet you...” your voice was small, you were always a little ball of nerves and its one of the things April loves about you. She sighed lovingly at your reaction, her head tilting subconsciously as she gazed at you.

“Ain’t she adorable? I love her so much, i just had to introduce you all”

“April, stop it” You laughed quietly, your face turning red - “I wont tell anyone about you guys” you spoke, “I just.... April loves you guys, and i just wanted to meet you all - you play a big part in her life and i just... I didn’t want to miss out on it....” you were rambling, your face probably looking as red as the red bandanna Raph was wearing. of everyone on you, hand tightening around April’s - you were worried you were going to break it, but she didn’t flinch - another small giggle passing her lips as her thumb rubbed the base of your thumb.

“Well this makes sense!” Mikey said dramatically, the sudden shout making you jump “you were datin’ this fine thing, no wonder you were turning me down” this made you laugh, your grip on Aprils hand slowly loosening.

“If April trusts you, so do I” Donnie shrugs, “I’m going to my lab---” he place a comforting hand on your shoulder, startling you “welcome to the family” with that he left, your face couldn’t help but brighten, a breathy laugh of relief as you looked at April. When Leo looked at the two of you, his heart swelled - April looked absolutely smitten by you, as well as you with her - even he could see the pure love between the two.

“Welcome to the family, (y/n)..” Leo repeated Donnie’s previous words, a smile on his face - hell, even his chest swelled at the look of pure relief on your face.

“Glad to be here”

#April O'neil x reader #TMNT x reader #tmntxreader #April x Reader

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spectrumscribe · 7 years

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These Days

Inspired by both my utter salt for the current brother-brother dynamics in canon, and the song These Days by the Black Keys.

Previous part, first part, and AO3 version of the series.

Chapter summary:

The youngest child is always the last. The last to learn things, the last to grow up, and the last to find their place in life.

That should not include being the last to be respected, or heard, or loved.

——————————————————————

Part Four.

Mikey’s throat burns, itchy and hot. Or maybe that’s his head. Or maybe it’s just both of them at the same time.

His fingers tap restlessly against the wooden counter, his feet starting to jitter too. He’s supposed to be listening to someone else, but right now all he can hear are echoes and memories knocking around his head that just won’t stop.

He swallows thick and bitterly, and tastes his own anger. It’s like bile on his tongue and he hates it just as much as he hates the scenes playing through his head.

Raph’s hands, Leo’s words, vice versa and combined, and Donnie’s listlessness, the blank way he’s always opting out, always drifting away just when Mikey needs him most, and he hates those things so much, but he also hates how Donnie does that because he can’t handle what’s been said and done to him, and how Mikey’s sometimes the cause of him doing that he’s not blameless and how it all still hurts, all those things, and they’re both so fucked up and it’s not fair because they left they left and this shouldn’t be bothering Mikey anymore-

“Michelangelo?”

Leatherhead’s gravelly voice snaps Mikey out of his spiraling, infuriating thoughts, and he blinks back to where he’s supposed to be

They’re in Murakami’s shop. Leatherhead carefully squeezed into the room to lean halfway onto the counter, enjoying soup and sushi as he visits with a fellow old man and the rest of them. Mondo darting around behind the counter with Murakami, dressed in his apron and cooking clothes specially fitted for him, showing off what the old chef has been teaching him the last few months. Mikey sitting at the counter, spacing out and building up stupid, pointless anger that he should’ve just left ignored.

All of them are staring at him.

Mikey violently shoves away his anger, and gives them an innocent look. “Sorry! Yikes, I totally zonked out,” Mikey says, wincing comically as he rubs the back of his neck. “What’d I miss again?”

Leatherhead gives him a measured look, and replies, “We were just wondering if you would also like to try Mondo’s new dish.” He gestures one large hand at Mondo, who’s holding up a bowl of soup from the pot he and Murakami have been attending to this whole time. “I’ve had a sip, and it’s very good. I highly recommend it.”

“Is something troubling you, Michelangelo?” Murakami asks, turning his head towards Mikey, and it feels like the older human is staring at him despite having no sight. “You’ve been awfully quiet tonight, most uncharacteristic of you.”

That’s right. Murakami is right; it is out of character for Mikey to be quiet around people. He just can’t shut up, ever, because he’ll run his stupid little mouth until his voice is hoarse or someone shuts him up by force. Raph had done that, usually. Whenever he got sick of Mikey’s words, sick of Mikey’s opinions, sick of Mikey-

“I’m a little tired, I guess,” Mikey says with a shrug, keeping his swells of anger well and hidden. No one needs to hear those things. They’re… not him, not okay to show to people.

Anger is gross. It hurts people and it hurts for Mikey to have. Better he just never show it at all.

Leatherhead’s hand on his shell is welcomed, because it gives Mikey something to focus on that’s not his own stupid, stupid emotions. “If you are too tired to stay out much later, we can leave,” Leatherhead offers with a rumble. “You are going through a very trying time, Michelangelo. We won’t ask you to push yourself unnecessarily.”

The obvious and warm comfort leatherhead is extending to Mikey gives him the strength to push down the anger, to shove it far far far down where it can’t touch him anymore or poison his thoughts. And he smiles for his friend. “Nah, I’m good,” Mikey says, normal and bright again. “It’s actually ‘cause I’m so craving some of that soup there, so gimme gimme, Mondo!”

Mondo beams, and brings over the bowl and platter to Mikey. “I’ve been workin’ on the recipe for weeks, bro,” Mondo says proudly, squaring his small shoulders and presenting the dish. His thick tail waves happily behind him as he does. “Mr. Murakami’s been great about it, too. I didn’t even know about half the ingredients he showed me!”

“That is because they are spices, and most Americans do not seem to know about those things,” Murakami says with a laugh.

Mikey grins, and takes the hot bowl of soup off the platter to sip from it. Spoons are kind of useless for him pretty often, because most ones are so teeny tiny in his hands and never manage to hold all the food he needs them to and hey, maybe there really was something to his brothers always saying he has a big mouth.

The soup burns his tongue a bit. Mikey swallows it anyways, because it burns less than the resurging anger in him.

But if he doesn’t acknowledge it, doesn’t speak it, it’s not actually there. And he’s sticking to that.

“Delicious, more please!” Mikey exclaims, holding the empty bowl out to Mondo. He hadn’t even tasted it, really. He’s not tasting much of anything right now.

Mondo beams again with all his little white teeth, and rushes off to fill up Mikey’s bowl. At least Mikey’s friend is happy, even though he doesn’t have parents either. They’d tossed him out the moment he’d shown his mutated face, and Mikey… still feels kinda bad for the guy. Sure Mondo’s got the Mutanimals, and Leatherhead is an A++ old man to chill with, but… it ain’t anything close to having a mom or dad. Mikey doesn’t know how Mondo could lose that and keep going-

Oh wait.

Yeah he does.

For a moment, grief overtakes the anger, and Mikey swims in his rush of sheer loss.

His dad, tall and forever untouchable, always there always strong always watching- unbeatable. Except no he wasn’t. He got killed, same as anyone else could, and he wasn’t actually always there, wasn’t always watching, wasn’t always… his dad.

His dad had been more so his Sensei, and Mikey had never been his favorite student. Ever.

Well, there goes his grief, and in its place-

Hello, anger, Mikey thinks dark and bitterly, long time no see.

And he swallows it all back down again, and does his best to ignore and pretend and space out in the right way that’s expected of him. He plays at being the Mikey he’s supposed to be- bright, cheerful, silly, perfectly happy all the time- and doesn’t let slip again for the rest of the night.

He hates being angry, and he hates showing it even more. Especially to his friends. They don’t deserve that, not when they’ve stayed with him the whole while since he and Donnie broke up their family. Anger hurts people, and Mikey doesn’t want to hurt any of his friends. At all.

But maybe he doesn’t hide it as well as he thought- which is weird, because none of his brothers have ever noticed- and Leatherhead stops him as they part for the night.

“If you will not talk to me about what’s troubling you,” Leatherhead says, keeping his voice low enough the still talking Mondo and Murakami can’t hear. “Then please talk to Donatello, at least. Your brother will listen, Michelangelo. It’s what family is for.”

A momentary, and very inappropriate, bubble of laughter tries to escape Mikey. Yeah, right. When did any of his brothers listen to him?

Donnie does, has been, he’s trying, Mikey reminds himself forcefully. Donnie is trying, and it’s just Mikey’s who’s not speaking about some of his crappy thoughts.

Maybe he should try talking about the anger, just a little.

“I… guess,” Mikey says finally, awkwardly skirting having to outright admit he’s got something bothering him. “I dunno. If Donnie’s up for it? Maybe.”

Leatherhead gives him a great big hug, just for that, and Mikey tries to hold onto the affection of that gesture rather than the squirming emotions in his chest.

Mikey exchanges fist bumps with Mondo and Murakami before he goes, and he grins like he doesn’t have weird exhaustion and aches tugging at his body. He heads back to the station, following the new paths he’s been familiarizing himself with for quickest travel from their new home. It’s late in the night, nearing morning, and even though Mikey doesn’t really want to…

He’ll give talking a shot. He’s talked about other hard stuff, mostly with Leatherhead, so how much harder could this topic be? Never mind that he hates even thinking about it, right down into his bones, and never mind that he doesn’t think Donnie even knows how angry Mikey can get.

Never mind all that; they’re on a fresh start, a blank slate, a brand new adventure where it’s just them and they actually talk instead of poking and snapping all the time.

Mikey brings up his confidence with shaky force- it’s getting harder to do that lately and he has no idea why- and ducks into his new home to share something with his brother. Something he’s been ignoring and hiding and pretending doesn’t exist at all for a long, long time.

The smell of alcohol hits him immediately.

And then he finds his brother. And Casey.

And Mikey can’t compute the situation he’s seeing before him.

And then the anger comes back, bright and hateful, and Mikey barely, just barely bites it all down into submission again.

Donnie brought Casey into their home, without telling Mikey. He got drunk and then passed out with their friend, the one night Mikey was really going to talk to him. He trashed their living room that Mikey helped build with him, like it didn’t mean anything at all.

Donnie is well and truly asleep, and Mikey stands alone in the dark with bitter, bitter anger on his tongue. His brother won’t be listening to him at all tonight, obviously.

Mikey snarls without sound, and storms out of the living room. Leaving Donnie and Casey to the fun they’d gone and had without him, and carelessly slamming his door shut behind him.

He crawls into his bed without bothering to brush his teeth, or get Donnie and Casey into actual places to sleep, or even covering them up with blankets so they don’t freeze on the floor-

-and he ignores all those things he should be doing, and instead tries not to let the twisting, snarling knots in his chest keep him awake all day.

Mikey wakes up the next evening, and feels like a dick.

It’s not Donnie’s fault Mikey was having a crappy night. He didn’t know Mikey was going to try talking about gross stuff he’s never even hinted about before. And heck, like anyone can keep Casey from doing what he wants, including worming his way into your home and starting a party.

Donnie and Casey are still passed out where Mikey left them last night, and he sighs at the both of them. There’s only a faint hint of his residual frustration, and it’s easily enough ignored. He starts by waking Donnie up, and from there he does his best to forget he’d ever been so mad at his brother.

Mikey starts poking at the mess Donnie and Casey made, while the two of them go have a private moment as Donnie sees Casey off, and he finds a mostly still full bottle of alcohol.

He stares at it, lying on the carpet with its cap on and most of its liquid safely inside. He considers it for a moment, wondering what he should do.

Then he picks it up, and puts it in his room before Donnie comes back. Why he does, he’s not really sure. It probably has to do with the dull buzz of hurt he’s still got; because even though he’s trying not to be, he’s frustrated Donnie called Casey over and had a party together without even bothering to text it was happening.

Mikey feels left out and more than a little ignored. He hasn’t felt that in a few weeks, and it’s not a fun thing to feel again.

It feels too much like how it felt at home, in the lair, with their brothers, with their father- and Mikey shoves the hurt anger deep, deep down into himself and forces his brain to forget about it.

Donnie didn’t do it on purpose. Probably. Casey tended to whip Donnie into all sorts of moods and frenzies, and who could focus on anything else when hurricane Jones was blowing through? Not Donnie, that’s for sure.

And then Casey calls Mikey, when he’s wandering the kitchen and looking for any other leftover alcohol, and Mikey suddenly feels like even more of a dick.

“He says it’s his fault your- fuck, that he’s the reason your dad is dead,” Casey says in a low, harsh voice; putting stones and glass in Mikey’s stomach. Gone is Casey’s vagueness from earlier, the maintained hungover humor that he and Donnie have been sharing. Maybe he hadn’t been as out of it as Mikey had thought. “He cried all over the place, Mike. All over me, and you know it’s bad if he’s done that. Did you know about any of that shit?”

Mikey’s head is kinda tilting a direction he doesn’t like, and he has to swallow around a lump in his throat. “No,” He says, somehow still steady. “I didn’t know that… at all.”

“Well. He spent like half the night talking about it, so I think it’d be a good idea you make ‘im talk about it again. Other stuff, too. Bad stuff.”

“What bad stuff?” Mikey asks, and a part of him doesn’t want to hear the answer. And he’s right, he doesn’t want to hear about how Donnie’s been keeping all these things in; blaming himself for their dad’s death, Leo’s coma, and countless other things Mikey is pretty sure he had no control over. And yet, Donnie had said it was all his fault, and slapped a claim over some of the worst shit that keeps Mikey awake most days.

Donnie hadn’t been having a party with Casey. He’d been having a vent session that should’ve happened months ago.

Mikey wonders why Donnie never told him the things he’d told Casey. He wonders that, while listening as Casey rambles on about things Donnie had said, about things he’s going to go yell at their brothers, and Mikey arrives to a conclusion.

Donnie still doesn’t trust him, doesn’t think Mikey could handle hearing those things.

An insidious whisper in his brain says it’s because Donnie thinks he’s too stupid to get it, too much the youngest brother to understand big things like self-blame and grief and shitty thoughts.

Mikey stomps on that thought and ignores it.

He takes Casey’s advice, after hearing what his friend swears is just the bare bones of what Donnie’s got all smushed up inside him, and corners his brother immediately. They are talking, and then they are hugging, and Mikey is going to show Donnie he’s perfectly capable of handling this.

Except.

He’s not sure he actually can.

Because when Mikey finally gets Donnie onto the couch, listening and waiting, and he actually hears what Donnie has to say… he falters.

Mikey hadn’t known about any of these things, hadn’t even thought they might exist. Hadn’t thought about how much pressure they’d been placing on Donnie, or how Leo’s words and their father’s words and all of their words had hurt him so much. He’d known it’d been hard, but…

He hadn’t known just how hard it really was. Not entirely.

Maybe Mikey played a part in those things- twitchy and ignorant and just doing whatever the hell he pleased because hey, he was always getting scolded anyways, what was one more brother yelling at him- but largely it’d been their brothers. Their father.

And Mikey’s anger burns.

Because Donnie, who is always tall, always unfaltering in his dedication and hard work, is just too wrung out to give much more. He says in a wavering voice that there’s just not enough of him left. And he’s hunching over his knees, words tumbling out fast and painful, and the way his voice cracks is breaking Mikey’s heart and nearly his control.

Donnie is missing his mask and has bags under his eyes and looks pale as they physically can be and is just so sad. And Mikey isn’t sure how to fix that. He isn’t sure how to respond to Donnie’s words, his stories about how long he’s been alone and hurting and feeling like no one loved him, and Mikey’s sadness and anger and whirling confusion fight each other in his head.

Regret makes its way out of the fight, and Mikey pulls Donnie into the tightest, most loving hug he can manage while he represses every other thought he’s been having. Donnie’s abrupt break down is the priority right now, not Mikey’s steadily growing anger issues.

Donnie actually sobs for a bit, and it’s the worst sound Mikey never ever wanted to hear. Donnie is just so broken sounding, the way he’s talking about always feeling tired, and always wishing things would just stop for a while so he could actually rest for once. He’s shaking and still crying and Mikey can’t do anything other than cling tighter to his brother and say he loves him, and he’s sorry.

It takes a while, and a lot of very tight clinging on Mikey’s (useless) part, and then Donnie drags himself back together enough to wipe away his tears. He manages a weak smile at the lame sounding reassurances from Mikey- “Don’t worry, Dee. If you’re really that tired, I swear I’ll do your half of the dishes tonight.”- and then, with Mikey’s encouragement, goes to make a phone call he really needs to.

They don’t talk about Mikey at all. Mikey doesn’t try to bring his own emotions into things, period.

Donnie can’t handle that, not right now. Mikey’s stupid feelings aren’t big enough to need talking about yet; and they are stupid, because why is he bothering with stuff that he’s already kind of talked about with Leatherhead, and then sworn he wouldn’t think about anymore.

Donnie’s got his own problems, and he’s the one in need of help right now. Not Mikey. Mikey won’t put yet another burden on Donnie’s shoulders, not after hearing about all the other ones that��ve been making him into atlas.

Mikey’s fine on his own, so he’ll keep to himself what he’d wanted to talk to Donnie about.

Mikey gets more nightmares than he wants to admit.

He’s always had a super active imagination, and it shows in just how vivid and detailed his dreams can get. Sometimes it’s neat, and he enjoys being able to recount every step and turn his dream self takes while he sleeps.

But sometimes it sucks. Really, really sucks.

Like dreaming he’s back in that moment, on that night, and watching his dad fall off a building and not get back up.

Mikey can’t jolt himself awake, even though he knows he’s dreaming, he knows this is just a stupid memory, and he has to watch his dad fall and hit the ground with a horrible, horrible thud and he’s too slow, too slow to do anything, because his dad’s chest is already torn open and gushing blood and he’s not even breathing anymore he’s just gone and they’re too late too late and it was all pointless and he was just too slow-

And Mikey’s lungs falter as he falls out of the nightmare, and he can’t do anything other than cough and gasp for a solid minute.

He’s crying. He’s crying and everything hurts just as much as it did in that moment. The realization that his unbeatable father had been beaten, and that he wasn’t coming back this time. Splinter is gone, and they won’t be getting anymore miracles.

Mikey used to think everything would work itself out, no matter what happened. They’d always find a way, always beat the odds. Always go home together. Always have their dad.

In the end, they lost to the odds, broke their home, and buried their father.

Leo had said they’d won the battle, ended the war. In Mikey’s opinion, he thinks they lost it completely.

After all, what did the Shredder have left to lose at that point? Karai didn’t want him, the Foot had abandoned him, and it’d just been him and his hench-guys. Mikey and his family are the ones who lost everything, not the Shredder.

Mikey sniffles, and wipes his tears onto his pillow. Turning into the dull comfort he gets from having privacy to feel like shit, and sheets that still have a slight scent of his old room.

He considers for a moment, going to Donnie and asking to talk about their dad, about how he misses Splinter even though he’d been so absent in the last few years, but Mikey doesn’t move to get up.

Donnie is still recovering, and it’s just a stupid dream, just some stupid feelings.

Mikey’s nearly an adult now, he can handle some dumb nightmares on his own. He has for… years. Since the war had started to get bad. He hadn’t gone crying to his brothers for- mockery, scorn, dismissal- for comfort then, and he won’t now. Especially since Donnie is still precariously balanced with his own issues.

Mikey rolls over; smearing the last of his tears onto his pillow, and shuts his eyes to will himself back to sleep.

Mikey keeps out of Donnie’s way for a while, but also circles his brother and does whatever Donnie needs him to.

Whether it’s taking a bit more of their shared chores, or being extra quiet that night, or just stepping out of the station for a bit to go burn off aggravating energy so he doesn’t bother Donnie- Mikey does it, and tries to be everything he hasn’t been over the years.

He wants to be a good brother, especially right now. He wants to mend the relationship he has with Donnie, and make it stronger than before. No more driving Donnie into break downs, please. Mikey’s seen enough of that for a lifetime and then some.

Sure, Mikey is still struggling with nightmares and frustrations and anger, but he’s got a handle on that. No sweat, he’s been doing this long enough now he’s an expert.

Except.

Text messages still come from their brothers, even though Mikey has noticed they’re slowing down. But it’s still enough. And with the weeks still pilling on- six, six weeks now and counting- they’re getting more desperate. More angry.

Raph is so mad at him, so scared for him; he wants them both back home and safe again. Where he and Leo can watch out for them.

Raph is also confused, and wants to know what the hell they’ve been telling their friends. Apparently, none of their friends want to talk to Mikey’s brothers anymore, and Raph and Leo just don’t get why.

Mikey reads a text that’s damn close to a plead, begging Mikey and Donnie to reply and at least call them- and Mikey has a horribly inappropriate moment of sharp laughter.

The laughter happens again when he finds a text from Leo, talking about how disappointed their father would have been, the two of them running away without explanation and turning all their friends against their brothers.

It happens a third time, when Raph leaves a breathlessly furious voicemail, about Casey and April turning on him and Leo and how Donnie and Mikey are still missing- and Mikey just can’t anymore.

He throws his phone across his room, not giving two shits about the sound of hitting the wall, and barks one more laugh before breaking into a muffled scream.

He’s just so angry at them all.

They don’t even see it, and its right in front of them, and they still don’t see it. They don’t get that they hurt Donnie, hurt Mikey, and that no, they’re not coming home no matter what their brothers plead and yell at them. That their dad was a neglectful asshole who only ever paid attention to them, and Mikey is having a hard time balancing that jealousy with his grief these days and it’s just turning into one big mess of anger.

He used to be so good about keeping his emotions under control. Only the happy ones were ever allowed out, or the sad ones in the right moments when it was okay to cry and whine a bit. Not anger. Never anger.

Raph gets to be angry, but not Mikey. Mikey has to be the happy one, the silly one, the stupid one-

Mikey bites his lips hard, and muffles his furious scream into his hands.

Why is it suddenly getting so hard to keep the anger out? Or rather, keep it in. Why is it suddenly such an issue to control a stupid, hurtful emotion he doesn’t even like having?

So his brothers still want them back. So they’re still looking for them. Great, good for them.

Mikey’s head is buzzing with anger, and he has nowhere to aim it, so it just keeps buzzing.

They don’t get what they did. Raph and Leo. Can’t tell or acknowledge it even with their whole friend group being pretty clear about things. Mikey doesn’t think they’d get it even if he screamed it in their faces.

They want them back home, ‘safe’ with them and under their watch again. The thought makes Mikey’s scales crawl and bile rise up in his throat. Because no. No more.

And maybe their father would’ve been disappointed- so what? He was always disappointed in Mikey anyways, getting distracted and unable to follow what was happening and just being a general nuisance that interrupted Splinter’s time with Raph and Leo. Mikey doesn’t care right now what their father would’ve thought- he’s dead and he can’t give Mikey infuriatingly distant looks of disappointment anymore.

Mikey misses his dad, misses his brothers, misses how things used to be-

-but right now, he’s more so angry about all those things, and tries to keep silent as the rancid emotions claw at him for release.

He doesn’t let them get that release.

He shoves his phone back under his bed, again, and has to ignore it for three days straight just to get his head back on right.

“It wasn’t your fault, Donnie. You can’t keep blaming yourself for it.”

“Za’naron wasn’t your fault either, so you can’t blame yourself for that if I can’t blame myself for- for Splinter. Dying.”

“…that was different.”

“It wasn’t really you.”

“A part of it was, though. I’m the one who gave in.”

“Yeah. Well. I’m the one who didn’t listen when I should have. So guess we can both blame ourselves a bit.”

“Donnie…”

Mikey hovers out of sight, practicing his ability to not be, and listens to his brother and April have the same conversation they’ve been having over and over the last while.

He hears April sigh, and shift on the couch. “This isn’t healthy, Donnie,” April says gently. “You can’t keep holding onto those things, or… it’ll never get better.”

“I can and I will,” Donnie mutters stubbornly. “Because they’re true.”

“They’re not-”

“Yes they are! I’m the one-”

“You’re one kid, one person, and you had no control over what happened to master Splinter. It’s not your fault; it was never your fault.”

Donnie falls silent for a moment, and it’s a drawn out sort of silence.

“Then why…” Why do I feel like it is?

Donnie doesn’t actually say the last part, but Mikey hears it anyways. It kinda sucks how clear he can hear it, and Mikey doesn’t know what to do about it anymore than he has the last week of trying to get Donnie to feel okay again.

Donnie sighs, and it’s an exhausted sound. Mikey looks up at the ceiling of the hallway, and thinks quietly that Donnie doesn’t ever not sound exhausted.

“…I don’t have an answer, Donnie,” April says in a hushed voice. “But I know it wasn’t your fault.”

And there’s the sound Donnie’s been making on and off lately, soft and broken. Mikey shuts his eyes and tries not to hear it too well.

Donnie’s crying again, in quiet gasps as he tries to not, and Mikey opens his eyes as April starts to shush his brother. Whispered things about how they’ll get through this, it’s not Donnie’s fault, and they’ll work it out somehow, some way…

“It’s okay, Donnie. Just let it out. I got you. I got you…”

Mikey takes the moment to peek into the living room, still silent and invisible. April’s got Donnie in a hug, and Mikey’s brother is hiding his face in her shoulder. April’s words and hug already seem to be calming Donnie down, and…

She’s doing this so much better than Mikey had. April knows what she’s doing, and Mikey doesn’t. She knows what to say, what’ll calm down Donnie the quickest, and… just knows how to be a better support in general.

And Donnie seems to trust her more, too. Letting this out every time April asks him to, without complaint or protest. He’s always ready to talk to her, but not…

Not Mikey.

Mikey swallows something too close to jealousy for comfort, and turns away from his brother and friend.

They deserve some privacy. He’d just been listening in for a moment, checking in on how their latest talk was going.

But April’s clearly got this, so Mikey leaves them to it. He’ll go do some quiet exercises, maybe a run above ground for a few hours. He won’t be such an annoyance if he gets rid of his excess energy.

He takes his skateboard with him as he leaves, going through the second exit so he doesn’t disturb April or Donnie. Mikey’s got his standard equipment on him too, nunchucks, smoke bombs, etc., even though the paranoia of his brothers finding them has started to ease off.

April and Casey both know where they are now, and Mikey is seriously considering bringing Leatherhead around sometime soon; so unless someone actually shows his brothers, and Mikey doubts any of their friends will, Leo and Raph aren’t finding the station any time soon. If they could’ve, they already would have.

That comfort is a small one, though. Because eventually- and that eventually hangs heavy in the air sometimes- he and Donnie will have to talk to their brothers, if only to bring closure to the shit that drove them all apart.

Mikey doesn’t know how he’ll handle that. He doesn’t know how to approach the idea at all.

But him not knowing how to do stuff is normal enough, right?

Right.

The station is occupied at the moment, so guess that means Mikey needs to shove off for a good while. Enough time for April and Donnie to wrap up their conversation and for Donnie to pull himself back together.

Mikey skates aimlessly for a while, not really thinking of anything in particular. He doesn’t really notice until he’s getting close, but he’d unconsciously drifted towards the Mutanimals’ hideout as he went. Mikey considers his options for a moment, and then starts heading towards Leatherhead and Mondo’s location in earnest. Spending time with the two of them should make it easy enough to shove his dumb mood aside; it’s always easier to do that for other people, instead of just himself.

He kicks his board up into his hand, and ducks in through the main entrance of the hideout. It’s not locked up, so that obviously means Mikey’s allowed to come in. His mood lifts the closer he gets to the inner rooms, and he manages to put a near spring in his step as he heads in.

Then-

He hears a voice that makes him freeze.

His heart stops and his fingers go numb, and he stands there like an idiot deer in the headlights; stuck in the last doorway into the center room of the Mutanimals’ base.

His skateboard slips from his hand. It clatters against the floor too loud to be ignored.

Raph turns around, following the sound and forgetting the conversation he’d been having with Slash.

Everything slows down, and Mikey can’t breathe.

“Mikey?” Raph says, eyes going wide. Then- “Mikey!”

And Mikey is already running by the time Raph even moves his feet.

He doesn’t even bother grabbing his skateboard, he just runs, and he doesn’t look back. Because he knows if he does-

He might listen to the things Raph is yelling after him. He might not be able to keep running away.

Raph’s voice echoes through the streets as Mikey runs, and neither of them are even trying to be stealthy anymore. There’s no reason to beyond ordinary humans maybe hearing them, and when isn’t there yelling in New York? It’s just normal, so normal no one even cares that there’s yelling outside their apartments- so why should Mikey?

With that hysterical thought in mind, Mikey pours on the speed and does his best to disappear. He blocks out Raph’s calls after him, and narrows everything down to his path ahead.

“Mikey! MIKEY! Just wait a second- where are you going?!”

Away from you! Mikey thinks, shrieks, inside his panicking mind, and then does.

He throws down a bunch of his smoke bombs, and disappears.

He leaves Raph coughing and cursing in the street below, while Mikey climbs into a boarded up building. They’re in one of the less attended to districts, so there are plenty of these buildings to find. Mikey replaces the boards across the window once he inside, and makes it look as though nothing has touched them since they went up.

He steps away from it when he’s done, tunnel vision draining away. He feels shaky in a way he hasn’t since he was fifteen and new to life or death situations. Like he’s a newbie all over again, just as inexperienced as the night he and his brothers first went out on their own.

Raph is still yelling outside. Hollering after Mikey and demanding he show himself.

Mikey takes a few more stumbling steps back from the window, and then recovers enough to become silent again.

The building he’s in looks like it used to be an apartment. Probably. All the rooms are stripped down and there’s no carpet on the rotting wooden floors.

Mikey doesn’t go farther than the back wall of the room he’s in- a kitchen, maybe- and ends up slumping against the far wall. Sinking to the floor and suddenly finding it hard to breathe.

Raph is still yelling. Still looking.

Mikey doesn’t think he’s got the concentration right now to sneak away, so he does the next best thing.

He goes quiet, and stops existing.

He stares at the window, boarded up but no sound proof, and waits for the yelling to get closer. He waits with his pulse thrumming in his ears, and lungs trying to take heaving breaths that he won’t give them.

Mikey should be standing, ready to flee, but he can’t get back up. He just sits there on the floor, and stares at the window. Terrified.

Oh god he’s so scared. And he’s such an idiot.

He should’ve checked in with the Mutanimals. He should’ve called ahead and said hey I’m dropping by, any chance the brothers I’m kind of hiding from right now are around? Yes? Thanks, I’ll make sure to avoid them. It would have been just that easy, and yet- Mikey hadn’t done it. One stupid little step, just to make sure he wouldn’t come face to face with his brother.

He’s an idiot. A complete and utter moron.

Raph’s yelling has stopped, finally.

Mikey stays where he is, curled up tightly around his knees and staring at the window as he internally berates himself.

Mikey’s not sure if he actually breathing anymore.

He isn’t sure if he wants to.

The minutes without Raph’s yelling tick by, and slowly, Mikey unwinds enough to think outside his fear and self-incrimination.

That was too close. Way too close.

He’s a fucking idiot, running around blindly like there aren’t still people looking for him. He’s always too careless, too thoughtless. Just like his brothers always told him he was.

Mikey’s made up of too much stupid and not enough caution, and he almost blew everything. If Raph had caught him, then everything he and Donnie have been building up would’ve been ruined.

Such. An idiot.

Mikey lets his head fall back against the wall that’s decades older than himself, and shuts his eyes. Listening to everything around him, and waiting.

He doesn’t manage to move again for a long while. His legs won’t respond until he’s thoroughly, thoroughly sure that his brother is gone. And then it’s just him and his shitty thoughts, all the way home.

He doesn’t go looking for Donnie when he gets back. April is gone, he knows that much from the absence of talking in the station, but he’s not going to go to his brother. Not yet.

He’s got enough voices telling him off for his dumbass mistake already, all up in his head where he can’t escape them.

A lot of them sound like his brothers.

Mikey slams his bedroom door, because he can and he feels like it and Donnie isn’t the type to go looking for reasons behind slamming doors. It’s just a sign of which part of the house you should be avoiding right then.

And that curdles Mikey’s stomach. The thought that even though they’re working so hard to change, he’s still using the same tactics they did at home. Still acting like their siblings.

Well, too late to un-slam it now. He’s already gone and done it. Just like he went and nearly got caught. Just two more mistakes he can’t take back.

His t-phone has been pinging with texts nonstop, one or two calls going straight to voicemail. Mikey doesn’t bother looking at the messages, and turns the thing off completely. It goes under the mattress right after.

He sits in his room, by his bed and with only one lamp on, and isn’t sure what to do next.

He has to tell Donnie. And even if he doesn’t, Donnie’s probably already gotten a rush of texts from one or both of their brothers about it. Donnie probably already knows, and is probably already angry at Mikey.

Well fuck him; Mikey’s already angry at himself. He doesn’t need anyone else yelling at him, because he’s got plenty in his head as is.

The anger bubbling in the back of his throat makes his head hurt, and Mikey shuts his eyes. He puts his head between his hands, and pushes hard against the sides of his skull. The dull buzz in it keeps up, and he just ends up feeling like he’s got a headache.

He drops his hands, and stares at the wall across from him. Shame and frustration join the anger, and he starts to feel twitchy.

He’s such a fucking idiot. He knew it before this, and he knows it even better now. The whole experience is just a repeat of every other fuck up Mikey’s ever made, and hey, it’s even worse this time because he’d been actively trying to not fuck up the last while.

Before he didn’t care. Because that was normal and he couldn’t escape it no matter what he tried. He cares a lot more now, because he likes not being yelled at all the time; likes not getting smacked over the head or insulted every time he so much as breathes.

He likes spending time with a brother that’s not constantly angry, or disappointed, or annoyed at him. One that doesn’t treat him like he’s useless or a hang on or just the moronic youngest brother that no one wants around.

But it looks like that’s about to change.

And maybe he deserves that, but that doesn’t mean he doesn’t hate it.

Mikey’s hand brushes something hard and cold underneath his bed, and he looks down. The bottle of tequila, which he’d previously wrapped up in a wad of towel he’d left in his room, is peeking out from under its hiding space.

Mikey looks at it, and considers what he should do.

On impulse- because that’s all he ever does, acts on stupid stupid stupid impulses- he pulls it out and uncaps it.

If Donnie can drink, then so can he. And if his brother doesn’t like it, then whatever. Mikey’s already going to be in shit, so might as well add one more thing for Donnie to yell at him about.

The first sip makes him choke, because it tastes like the stuff he uses to clean the kitchen.

It burns all the way down, and Mikey coughs for a solid few seconds as his eyes water.

He takes another sip anyways.

Mikey drinks most of what was left in the bottle- which was a fair amount, considering how much Donnie and Casey had seemed to have drunk- and then sits in his room feeling even shittier than before.

It’s not fair. Why is that he’s the fuck up? He’s not the one who was always shouting at people or ordering them around. He’s not the one who put all his attention into two sons and not the others. He’s not the one who gave unsubtle looks of disappointment or slipped barbs into his words every time he spoke about one specific person. He’s not the one who hits people.

Mikey’s not the one at fault for all that stuff. He’s not the one who did all that. And what did he do to deserve all that shit anyways? When had he fucked up so horribly that no one could even talk to him anymore without insulting him?

Why did his brothers hate him so much? Mikey didn’t do anything wrong, he just is how he is and he can’t change that. Couldn’t then and can’t now and won’t, because what’s wrong with wanting to think about nicer stuff? What’s wrong with wanting to lighten the situation when everything is a great big pile shit constantly, and none of them have had a night without fighting in years?

What the hell is so wrong with Mikey that everything he says has to get shut down or ignored? At what point did everything he said just become nonsense to everyone else? At what point did he get designated as everyone’s verbal and physical punching bag?

Fuck them. Fuck them all.

Mikey’s head aches with all the fury he’s channeling, and he’s not sure when he left his room.

It figures that Donnie comes out of his lab, for once, just in time to meet Mikey in the hallway.

Donnie has his phone in his hands, and he looks up at Mikey with wide eyes. Mikey knows what Donnie’s going to say before he does, and Mikey glowers at his brother.

“You- you almost got caught?” Donnie asks, and they both know there’s no need to give context to that statement. Donnie’s lips go thin, and he closes a hand around his phone. “Mikey, that was way too close. Are you-”

“Shut up,” Mikey bites out, cutting his brother off from almost definitely saying ‘are you stupid?’ “I know already, don’t bother telling me off for it.” His head feels wrong and soupy with anger and alcohol, and he just doesn’t have any filter left. “Just- just leave me alone! I know I fucked up!”

Donnie looks at him, rising out of a half hunch. He spots the bottle Mikey had forgotten he was still clutching. “You’re drinking the tequila” Donnie says, lips tugging downwards, and there’s the disappointment Mikey was expecting. “Mikey, you shouldn’t be doing that. It’s-”

“It’s what?” Mikey barks, because he doesn’t care, he’s already going to be in trouble and he doesn’t care if he gets in more for talking back. “It’s stupid? Thanks, I kind of already knew that, so piss off!”

Donnie is looking at him with apprehension now, and slowly crossing his arms. “No, I was I going to say that it’s a depressant, and it’s not a good thing to be drinking when you’re not emotionally balanced. Mikey, that wasn’t a good idea.”

Mikey’s laughter comes out of his throat in a way that hurts, and he does not care. “You always say that about- about whatever I decide to do,” Mikey says, biting and furious and so far beyond giving a shit. “All of you do! You all just shit on me for everything I sug- suggest doing, and then you call me stupid for even thinking the ideas! So fuck you, fuck you and your long- long stupid words, I don’t give a shit anymore!”

Donnie’s eyes are wide, and his mouth has dropped open. “Mikey, is that what you think I’m-”

“I don’t care what you’re on about, I don’t care!” Mikey cuts him off, swinging his arm through the air in a harsh gesture. “None of you ever cared what I was on about, so why should I give a shit about you?”

Donnie’s arms come uncrossed, and Mikey takes a quick step backwards to get out of range. Bad idea, because everything tilts as he does, and he stumbles. Mikey feels that Donnie is still looking at him, and he knows if he looks back he’ll see disappointment, maybe annoyance, maybe any of the other countless looks his brothers always give him when he’s acting particularly stupid.

“Mikey, we should sit down,” Donnie says, slow and careful like he’s trying to explain things to Mikey in a way he’ll get it. Like he’s an idiot. “If you need to… talk about this, we should.”

“You never listen, none of you do,” Mikey mutters, and he, acting on impulse for the umpteenth time tonight, tries to bring the tequila to his lips.

Donnie’s hand stops his rising arm.

Mikey snarls, and yanks his hand away. Or, tries to, but Donnie’s hand has formed a vicelike grip on his arm and won’t let go.

“Mikey- Mikey stop and think for a second, this isn’t helping, you’re just making it worse-”

Always worse, he’s always just making it worse and screwing things up because he’s an IDIOT, because he can’t get anything RIGHT-

-never thinks never plans never does anything except make stupid stupid stupid mistakes-

-no wonder none of them wanted him around, they all think he’s useless and a nuisance and just plain stupid-

“Shut up!” Mikey shouts, yanking against Donnie’s grip again. He hates being held in place, he hates being held against his will, he hates it when people grab him like this because it’s always followed by a- “Let me go! You don’t- you don’t even care-”

“Mikey, just let me talk to you, we’ll- we just need to sit down, you’re not making any sense-”

“You always say that!” Mikey screams, still unable to free his arm, still stuck in place and unable to escape- “All of you! You- you all think I’m an idiot! I’m not; I’m not an idiot so stop talking to me like I am-”

Donnie’s hands grip tighter around Mikey’s arm, and just get tighter even as Mikey tugs and tugs and tugs to get away, and-

“Mikey- just listen for two seconds-”

-Mikey’s other arm is still free-

“-I’m just trying to help you-”

-and Donnie still won’t let go, and he’s still yelling everyone’s yelling and Mikey can’t get away.

He gives one last yank on his arm-

-it doesn’t come free-

-and he raises his other arm, and-

-Donnie’s voice and hands and everything too much too much-

-Mikey’s fist makes contact with Donnie’s cheek.

The tequila falls out of both their hands, and hits the floor with a dull thud. Its open top spills what was left of it onto the throw carpet they’d laid out in the hallway.

Its making the spot by Donnie’s feet wet. The spot where Donnie’s feet are, which lead up to his legs, which lead up to his shell-

-which is on the floor, because Mikey hit Donnie hard enough he fell over.

Everything slows down, as Donnie stares up at Mikey. Eyes wide with shock, and confusion, and hurt.

Mikey can’t breathe. He can’t breathe. His hand hurts and he can’t breathe.

Donnie slowly raises a shaking hand to his cheek, and blinks at the pain of touching it.

And Mikey-

Mikey howls.

He fucked up.

He fucked up he fucked up he fucked up he fucked up he fucked up hefuckeduphefuckeduphefuckeduphe is the fuck up-

Donnie’s eyes go even wider, and he struggles to stand up fast enough. “Mikey, Mikey no-”

Mikey stumbles back- out of range out of reach- and his scream cuts off as he does- shut up shut up no one wants to hear- and he runs.

His door slams behind him, and he locks it with numb fingers. Shaking fingers. Fingers that can make a fist that he used to hit his brother.

It’s not the same as training. It’s not the same because he’d done it outside the dojo, outside a spar, outside of a battle, during a real fight between them and with intent to hurt.

Donnie’s own fists hit the door the second he’s locked it, and Mikey hears the knob shake as his brother tries to get inside. Donnie is yelling and Mikey can’t hear any of it, his heart and mind already too loud as he backs away from the shuddering frame.

“Mikey- Mikey please, open the door. Open the door- I know you didn’t mean it, so please-”

Mikey shakes his head at the door, and keeps backing away until his shell hits the wall. He slowly, agonizingly slowly, sinks to the floor, and sits. And stares.

His hands are shaking still. He can still feel the impact of punching Donnie.

Mikey inhales sharply, and feels like something is cracking.

Nothing changed. He left with Donnie and tried to do better and nothing changed. He’s still a fuck up, they’re both still broken, and he hit his brother.

He got angry, and let his anger out, and someone got hurt.

Someone always gets hurt when anger is let out. Usually it’s Mikey who gets hurt. Usually it’s Raph who lets it out.

Mikey let go of his control, and Donnie got hurt.

He’s just like his brother. He’s just like Raph, except worse, because Mikey was actually trying.

And Mikey feels sick.

“Mikey! MIKEY! Open the door! God damn it- OPEN THE DOOR-”

Mikey puts his hands over his mouth, and feels burning tears spill out of his eyes.

Donnie’s wide and hurt eyes play through his mind again, and a choked sob finds its way up his throat.

“Please, oh god, please open the door Mikey. Please, please open the door-”

Mikey can’t move and won’t let himself move.

He’s not opening that door. He’s not opening it or exposing Donnie to- to Mikey again.

Donnie’s stopped banging on the door, and there’s nothing making sound anymore except for Mikey’s hyperventilation.

He still can’t breathe. He’s sucking in air and he still can’t breathe.

There’s nothing except that for a long, long moment, and then Donnie’s cracking voice comes through the door again.

“Mikey, please. Open the door. I’m- I’m scared of what you’re thinking right now. Please… I know you di-didn’t mean it-”

Donnie’s voice breaks and Mikey feels something in him do the same.

“…oh god, I don’t know what I’m doing. Fuck- Mikey, I know you didn’t mean to. I’m so- I’m so sorry I held onto you like that, I-I-I was panicking, and you were upset and I… I didn’t know what else to do, Mikey…”

Mikey stifles a sob, and feels like he’s swimming in guilt. Drowning in it.

“You’re not an idiot, I nev- I wouldn’t- I’m sorry, Mikey. Oh god I’m so sorry. Please, please open the door. Please…”

Donnie is crying. He’s crying and it’s a sound Mikey never, ever wanted to hear again.

“...I’m sorry… Mikey, I’m so sorry… please open the door… I’m sorry…”

Mikey can’t take hearing that, can’t take hearing the hopeless desperation Donnie has in his voice. He just can’t.

He’s already done too much damage as it is.

Somehow, somehow, Mikey drags himself towards the door on numb legs, and fumbles with the lock.

He gets it open, and Donnie is there. Standing and staring, and blinking thick tears out of his eyes.

Mikey’s own tears respond in sympathy, and fall down to dampen his mask even more. “I’m sorry,” He says, hoarse and shaking and so, so sorry. His breathing hitches and he feels himself crumpling. “ ‘m sorry.”

Donnie takes a sharp inhale, and the sound conveys so many things all at once, emotions and thoughts and actions-

-and then he grabs Mikey in a hug.

Mikey’s arms, without his permission, grab Donnie back and don’t let go.

They take a few stumbling steps backwards, and somehow make it to the floor against the hallway wall. It’s just the two of them tangled together, stubbornly stupidly refusing to let go of each other. There’s no one else here to see anything, or make judgements, or be angry at anyone.

It’s just them, and Mikey’s big brother is still holding onto him like a lifeline that’ll disappear the moment he lets it.

And Mikey sobs.

He mashes his face into Donnie’s neck and shoulder and sobs. Because he’s so sorry, he’s so so so sorry. He didn’t mean to, he didn’t want to, he’d never do that- except he did and he’s sorry-

“Shh, shh shh shh, it’s okay, Mikey its okay, I’m fine it’s fine-”

-he’s not him, he’s not him-

“You’re not, Mikey you’re not Raph, you’re just-”

-no he worse he’s a fuck up that none of them ever wanted, ever liked, ever loved-

“-you’re not, you’re not a fuck up. I- I love you and you’re not a- shh shh shh, you’re not, I swear you’re not. Mikey, Mikey look at me, look at me.”

Donnie’s hands turn Mikey’s face upwards, and for a moment Mikey’s instincts scream at the sudden touch, but it’s just Donnie. It’s Donnie. And his brother is looking at him with nothing but concern and grief and love.

“Mikey, you’re not- you’re not stupid, or a fuck up, or-” Donnie breaks off, blinking gloss out of his eyes. “-or unwanted. You’re my brother and I love you, I’ve always loved you. Every- every damn second of our lives, I’ve loved you and I never felt otherwise.”

Mikey stares at his brother, trying to process the words Donnie is saying. “Then why-” Mikey’s voice breaks and his eyes blur even worse. “-then why did you always- always call me an idiot, or- or stupid, or tell you didn’t want me- me anywhere n-near you-” He can’t see anything at all and everything hurts. “-why did all of you say that you didn’t want me-”

Mikey’s voice gives out, and he starts sobbing again. Thick and horrible tears rolling down into his mask that he shoves out of the way to mash at his eyes and wipe away his stupid, stupid weakness-

-and Donnie’s arms just pull him closer.

Mikey just sobs harder, words and thoughts tumbling out as he cries. And Donnie just keeps holding him.

His brother is making shushing sounds, running a hand up and down Mikey’s shell while he does. Mikey thinks his brother is saying things like “I always wanted you” and “I’m sorry” and “Mikey, I love you, I love you-” but Mikey’s head and heart are too loud to let anything real come through.

Mikey just keeps crying and crying and crying. Until he’s done.

Then they sit there, cramped in a desperate two way clutch. Mikey’s vision finally clears itself, and his head and eyes and pretty much everything else hurt.

He can see the spilled tequila, all the way at the end of the hall. And then he feels sick again.

Distantly, he feels Donnie’s arms tighten around him again as his breath hitches in a half sob.

Even more distantly, Mikey thinks about how none of his family has done this is years. He loves Leatherhead, downright adores his friend, but it’s not the same as getting a cuddle from his brothers. From his father.

Mikey doesn’t remember the last time his dad even hugged him.

That brings another fresh wave of grief and anger and sorrow up from his core, and Mikey shudders as he tries to shove it all back down. “Why didn’t- why didn’t dad- why didn’t he love me?” Mikey chokes out. “Why didn’t any of you love me? Al-always calling me stupid, or- or telling me to leave, or saying you didn’t want me around- and he never- he didn’t even expect me to do well at anything, he just- just waited all the time for me to fail-”

“I don’t know, I don’t know,” Donnie says, low and fast, clutching Mikey closer. “But I’m sorry. Mikey, I’m so, so sorry. You’re great. You’re amazing. You’re smart and good and I love you, okay? Don’t think otherwise. Please, please don’t think otherwise. I can’t- I don’t- I don’t know what to do, Mikey. I’m- I’m just sorry and I don’t know what to do anymore.”

Donnie presses a kiss to Mikey’s forehead, a gesture he barely feels, and his brother says “I’m sorry, I’m so, so sorry, Mikey-” in a hushed voice, like it’s a prayer. Donnie says it again and again, and Mikey just turns his head into his brother’s shoulder and lets himself be held.

They don’t leave the hallway for a long time.

“…I had a handle on it,” Mikey says, hours later and with a voice that hurts. Shame is still running a throbbing tempo behind his eyes, in pulse with his headache. “I. I don’t like being angry. I don’t even like having anger; let alone… talking about it.”

Donnie’s quiet presence, on the other end of the couch, leaves the air open for Mikey to continue. And he does. “It’s… it’s nasty, and it makes me feel gross, and…” Mikey blinks away memories that rise up. Memories from before they’d left. “People get hurt when you- when you let it out. ‘s why I never do. And besides… Raph’s the angry one. I’m the… stupid one.”

“You’re not, though,” Donnie says, and that’s one of the few things he’s said while Mikey gets things out. “You’re just as smart as the rest of us, and Raph’s just an asshole.”

Mikey scoffs. “Not as smart as you.”

“That’s-” Donnie sighs, and shifts his position on the couch. “That’s different. We went over that already.”

Mikey ducks his head, and can’t look at his brother. Another thought rises up in him, and he speaks it. “How come you didn’t talk to me about…” Mikey waffles between how he should address their deceased parent. Splinter? Sensei? Whatever. “…our father. How come you talked to Casey and April, but not… me.”

Donnie is quiet for too long, and Mikey’s stomach twists. He knew it, he knew it- “It’s because you don’t think I’m smart enough to get it, right?”

“Wha- no!” Donnie exclaims, starting out of his silence. Mikey still won’t look at him, even as his brother moves closer. “Mikey, I didn’t want to talk to anyone about that. I- I just- Casey made me, okay? And April is… April. She asked, and he forced me to, and it’s just…” Donnie seems to search for the right words, for once, and it takes another beat before he does. “It’s just different with them, alright? And it’s nothing to do with you. It was just… easier, somehow. And… truthfully, I never wanted any of you to know what I thought about our father. Especially you, Mikey.”

“…why especially me?” Mikey asks warily. He’s not sure if he wants to hear the answer, or any of the following insults.

“Mikey, could you look at me?”

Mikey lifts his head slowly, and cautiously meets his brother’s eyes. Donnie looks tired, red eyed in a different way than normal. But he’s also giving a weakly encouraging smile.

“I didn’t want you to know especially… because you were the only brother I had left,” Donnie says, and his smile nearly slips for a moment, in turn with the flash of regret and grief in his eyes. “I didn’t want to- to tell you what I’d caused, if you hadn’t figured it out already, because I didn’t want to lose you too. I- I thought if I told you, you’d… stop wanting to be here with me.”

Mikey blinks, and finds himself shaking his head in jerky shakes. “No- no I’d- I wouldn’t leave you, Dee,” Mikey says, because he wouldn’t, not now not ever- “I wouldn’t do that.”

They’ve already lost so many people; he couldn’t turn his back on Donnie now.

“I know,” Donnie says, wincing in on himself. “But tell that to my anxiety.”

A part of Mikey knows he’s supposed to laugh a bit at that, maybe crack a joke of his own… but he’s all out of that stuff right now. He’s too tired.

He can do something else, though.

“I don’t blame you,” Mikey says, abruptly enough that Donnie seems confused for a second. He pushes on anyways. “I don’t blame you for Splinter dying, or what happened to our family. So don’t think I do, or ever would.”

Donnie just stares at him for a long breath, and then his shoulders slowly slump. In relief, not despair. It’s so much better than the slump he has when he’s given up.

“Okay,” Donnie says, and Mikey can hear the resounding relief in his brother’s voice. Donnie nods his head, and blinks away wetness in his eyes. “Okay. Thank- thank you, Mikey.”

The last part comes out as a whisper, and Mikey nods slowly. He thinks Donnie is also exhausted from all the emotional feelings talk, and Mikey is right there with him. No more of that tonight.

“Can we just make dinner and go to bed now?” Mikey asks, wondering vaguely if he’ll be told off for changing the subject to food. “I think I’m all talked out.”

“You? Talked out? I never thought I’d see the day,” Donnie says with a soft laugh, only for it cut off when he sees how Mikey is shrinking on himself.

“Yeah, ha, I never do shut up, do I?” Mikey mumbles. Always talking, always rambling, always going on and on about things no one even listens to him say…

“That’s not what I meant,” Donnie says, and his hand reaches out to grab at Mikey’s- only for it to stop just before touching. Hovering there. Donnie looks at Mikey, and Mikey hears the silent question.

Mikey opens his hand, and lifts it to meet Donnie’s. Their hands clasp together tightly, and Donnie says, “I’m sorry. That wasn’t supposed to be mean. I won’t say it again.”

“…thanks,” Mikey says, swallowing down his tremulous thoughts and emotions.

Donnie’s hand tightens around his, and slowly pulls Mikey close enough for a hug. Mikey lets himself be pulled over, and wraps his arms around Donnie as his brother does the same to Mikey.

“I think that food idea is a good one,” Donnie says after a beat. “I’m pretty hungry, actually. I don’t think I ate tonight at all.”

Mikey scoffs quietly, and thumps his head against Donnie’s shoulder. “You suck at taking care of yourself, Dee. Gonna waste away one of these days.” Mikey knows that one is toeing the line, because they don’t need to actually say it to both know that if they’d stayed in the lair… there would’ve been a real chance of that happening.

Mikey hugs his brother a little tighter, and tries to push away that image.

“Mgh, don’t I know it,” Donnie mutters. He turns his head, and Mikey feels a soft kiss to his forehead. “Think instant noodles and easy vegetables would be good? I don’t have enough energy for real cooking.”

“Sounds good to me,” Mikey agrees, and he starts to pull away from their hug. Donnie stops him though, with a gentle grip on Mikey’s shoulders. Mikey glances up, and meets his brother’s eyes again.

“For the record, and from now on,” Donnie says, strong voiced and with certainty. “I don’t think you’re stupid, and I’m never calling you that again. Ever. As far as I’m concerned, the word is gone from my vocabulary now and forever.”

That startles a laugh out of Mikey. “Now that is just stupid,” Mikey says, disbelief and some kind of achy emotion running through him. “You can’t just delete that word; you use it on, like, half the problems we deal with.”

“I can and will and have,” Donnie says stubbornly. Then, tone shifting to something softer, “Mikey, I’ve made a lot of mistakes. Particularly with how I treated you. I need to make up for it, and if giving up one word that’s done more damage than I ever thought it would is something that’ll help, then I’ll give it up and never say it again for the rest of my life.” He smiles, and there’s a hint of humor to the expression. “Besides, when have you ever known me to go halfway with anything? It’s all or nothing here, and I’m going to give my all.”

Oh.

Mikey can’t find a response to that. He can’t do anything other than nod shakily as something warm and painful and loving fills up his chest, and nearly makes him start crying again.

Scratch that, he already is.

“Oh, Mikey,” Donnie says gently, and wraps Mikey in another hug. “Shhhh, it’s okay. Just let it out, it’s okay.”

Mikey sniffles pathetically, and hides in his brother’s shoulder for a while longer. He stifles the last of his tears, and somehow pulls everything back together enough to push past the old pains and breaks in himself, to look at the new things taking their place. The warm things brought to life by having his brother say that he’s sorry, and that he’ll do anything to fix what’s happened to Mikey, and how Mikey now feels like he really matters. To Donnie. Like he’s not just the brother their family never wanted, or the screw up youngest no one ever listened to. He feels like he’s loved.

It’s not a feeling he ever wants to lose again, and he tries to say that, only for it to come out incoherent and rambly. Donnie just shushes him and says he knows, he knows and they won’t. Never again.

No more hurting and being hurt.

No more.

The tequila bottle is smashed with vigor and vengeance. Mikey whoops as he hears the glass shatter against the wall of the tunnel. It’s a good sound.

“I am never letting Jones anywhere near us with that toxic liquid ever again,” Donnie says in a matter of fact tone, accompanied with a disgusted sniff. “It brings nothing but misery and tears to anyone who drinks it.”

“True that,” Mikey says, hands on his hips and feeling much better just for that small act of destruction. Sometimes, he supposes, anger is allowed out if you do it right.

As he has come to discover- and is no longer allowed to ignore- bottling it all up and not speaking about it all just makes things ten times worse than they need to be.

He and Donnie had a talk about that. A very long talk. A talk that took all night and well into the day, mixed in with all the nasty things Mikey has been keeping locked up inside and pretending didn’t exist.

It’d felt like pouring murky water out into the open, filled with all the rotting thoughts Mikey had inside him. All the emotions and memories he’s been ignoring for so long.

Donnie hadn’t had answers for some of them. The ones about their dad and why he never seemed to expect anything of Mikey at all, and the ones about Raph and Leo and why they always treated Mikey like a useless piece of junk no one wanted.

He’d had some though. Mostly for himself, and those answers were mostly apologies.

Mikey countered a lot of the apologies with his own, or insistences that that specific moment or interaction he had been an idiot, or annoying, or was just being a general fuck up-

But Donnie had very, very sternly told him to shut up when he tried that, and to stop saying those things.

“And that includes thinking those things, Mikey,” Donnie had said, still stern. “If I’m not allowed to think shitty things about myself, then neither are you.”

Mikey had tried to counter that, but hadn’t been able to.

Well, no harm in that. If they’re instating a ‘no shitty thoughts about yourself’ rule, then it’s a good one. Mikey even wrote it onto the fridge whiteboard, displayed with their other new rules.

Most of them are about minding each other’s spaces and needs, and some are about which subjects have to be talked about specifically. They’re both guilty of bottling things up, and whoops, looks like they’ll have to police one another about doing so.

Mikey doesn’t mind that rule too much, and Donnie doesn’t either.

It’s a good rule. It’s a rule that makes sure they communicate when they’re feeling particularly bad, and makes sure they go to one another for support for those moments.

Donnie hasn’t made fun of Mikey’s issues once the whole while. Even when Mikey started talking about the dumb nightmares he gets, Donnie had listened intently, and given nothing but reassurances afterwards. No mockery in sight.

Mikey still catches himself waiting for a verbal or physical blow sometimes, but that’s getting to be less and less. He kinda hopes it’ll be not at all sometime soon.

Everything else is great though! They’re both talking and spending time together, they’ve got awesome friends who are doing everything they can to support the two of them, and they’ve got a home all to themselves; one that’s full of plants that make everything smell great and furniture they picked out themselves and new memories they’re building together.

Now that Mikey has most of his anger out, (most, because he doesn’t think he’ll ever get it all out), and his skull isn’t buzzing with repressed emotions all the time, he thinks it’s the happiest he’s felt in a long, long time.

All good things! He’d like it if things would stay that way, at least for a while.

He’s tired of fighting. Tired of dealing with one crisis after another. They had a talk about that too, about being tired of things like that. And about why Mikey suddenly couldn’t control himself so well anymore. Why all the anger came crawling out, even though he’d put so much work into pushing it all down.

Funny thing about trauma, if you stand still long enough for it to catch up, it will. And then the whole game changes.

No more war means no more distractions, and that means they can’t ignore the things that happened over the years any longer. Kind of hard to do that when there’s nothing left to deal with, other than the pieces leftover.

Emotionally speaking, they’re both kind of really fucked up. Mentally speaking too. It’s going to be a long time before that’s not a thing anymore.

But whatever, they’ll get through it. They always do, so why would this be any different? Especially since they’re both going to do their absolute best to be the support they need.

It’s just them now. No dad, no big brothers. They’ve got friends but it’s just not the same.

They’ll figure this out, through talking and googling things and making a lot of tea and popcorn for movie marathons. All good ways of figuring out why something hurts so much, and then moving away from the hurt.

They’ve got this. They’re the B-team- and that’s their name now, not their brothers’ for them, they’re taking it back and making it their own- and they’ve totally got this.

They’ve got each other, and they’re not letting go of that.

Mikey skips back into the station, because he can and no one will make fun of him for doing so, and heads towards the kitchen to grab a couple sodas. Donnie’s setting up the TV for another movie night, because they don’t have training and don’t want to do training anymore. They can decide what they want to do and no one else gets a say in it.

It’s a pretty awesome feeling, that one. Sure they got all sorts of unresolved issues still hanging in the background, but freedom still tastes like freedom and Mikey loves it.

Mikey opens the fridge, grabbing the six-pack of mini-Sprites they nabbed from the grocers the other day. And of course, he pops open the freezer to get kitty from her home. No way could he forget the third member of their household on a movie night.

Ice cream kitty mrowrowrow’s at him as he takes her out, and it’s a bit of a challenge to balance her while she squirms in her newest bowl. He keeps her steady though, and heads back out through the drapes with the first round of snacks for him and Donnie.

“You ready? I’m so hyped to see this movie,” Mikey says as he sets kitty on the coffee table. Said coffee table has taken a couple beatings lately, and he pats a couple scuff marks on its surface. Good coffee table, great job keeping up with their emotional drama. He should get it a doily as reward.

Donnie isn’t answering him, intently focusing on his phone as he stands motionless by the TV. Mikey’s own phone has remained under his mattress since he put it there, so Donnie’s been the only one seeing the messages from their brothers.

“Donnie?” Mikey asks, standing up straighter. “Hey, something wrong?”

Donnie finally hears him, and looks up from his t-phone.

Mikey’s good cheer disappears when he sees the expression on Donnie’s face.

“Mikey,” Donnie says, breathless and quiet. “We have to go back. It’s Raph.”

Continuation.

#These Days tag #my writing #michelangelo #Donatello #b-team babes #with special guest april #plus leatherhead and his adopted child mondo #and also a side of mr murakami (who ive missed dearly)#also someone else but i won't mention him here #tmnt #TMNT 2012 #did you think i'd give donnie one huge chapter and leave mikey with only fifteen pages to his emotional problems?#nah son #i would never #they both deserve time to hash out their individual issues #and that includes these ones

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