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#but im replying because i acknowledge u went out ur way to give all the advice you knew
deludedcrayon · 4 months
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just going to vent for a little bit please don’t reply if ur just going to judge
i cook dinner for christmas every year for my family because i genuinely enjoy it even if it is a lot of work. i was especially excited about this year because i was going to make two new dishes, and i put on the shopping list that we needed parmesan and told my mom we were all out of it. my mom forgot it and it was the main ingredient for one of my new dishes. i started crying because i literally fucking have bpd and have trouble regulating my emotions, and honestly, my family doesn’t even do decorations or presents anymore, so this dinner is really all i have. immediately my dad yells at me not to “ruin christmas” and my mom doesn’t even apologize or acknowledge the fact that she forgot something. i’m not blaming her, i know these things happen, but i feel like a simple sorry would be common courtesy because everyone knows how seriously i take this cooking. my brother was the only one who took me seriously, he went out to whatever stores were open and searched for it until my mom called him back bc he couldn’t find any. at this point, even though it’s what started it, i’m not even mad or distressed about the missing ingredient. i’m just tired because i can hear my parents complaining abt me in swahili, thinking i don’t understand even though i can hear them saying “exaggerating” “[my name]” “crying.” i’m just tired of the lack of support from them. i’m working with my therapist on my coping mechanisms and dbt, but it’s still hard accepting the fact that my parents will never understand me. no matter how much they say they support me because they give me a place to live and my mom “claims” to understand bpd, it’s obvious they don’t because they judge me when i have these emotional moments and don’t even bother to try to talk to me. i know it’s small, i know it’s not a big deal, i know i’m overreacting, i don’t need someone to lie to me and say that it’s the end of the world, i just need someone to understand that it feels that way to me. i feel so taken for granted for in this house. would they even love me if i didn’t provide use? if i didn’t take my meds and stay sober for them? if i didn’t go to school for them and work the job they made me do? if i didn’t cook for them every holiday? i don’t even feel happy about the holiday anymore. i don’t have any decorations or traditions, i don’t have any presents to give or recieve, i don’t have any affection to give or recieve, and now i feel like my dinner is ruined (even though logically i know it’s not). i’m just tired. i think about that quote about how u can’t heal in the same place that broke you. all i look forward to is c-**ing myself. what’s the point of even trying anymore i just have to get out of here before im so mutilated i have nowhere else to go.
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themoonsbeloved · 2 years
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Hello, I’m a POC with hirsutism and acantosis nigricans who is also into twst. So I might as well give you some advice. - hirsutism will always come back and you will need more laser treatments, you are better off buying an in home treatment machine that works for dark skin, from what photos I saw of you, most will work on you, Lumea works on most skin colors. It’s cheaper than going to a clinic. - Acantosis, as explained by my dermatologist, can be made more severe by stress and common soap
This has been sitting in my inbox the past 3 days now and i didnt have the mental and/or emotional energy to respond to this but its 4am and I cant sleep again. But I've been feeling discomfort around this either way, like its just been there and its like... I literally didn't ask for any advice lol.
I've read parts 2 and 3 and I have absolutely no doubt you mean well and you want to help, and advice on getting a job etc, but nobody understands or even knows the full story of my situations, and what state my physical conditions look like to begin with, unless they have seen it for themselves.
I'm aware about all the info you've given me about getting my own laser machine, but once again, based on the severity and amount of hirsutism I highly doubt I can get the effect of a high medical grade laser in an in-home machine, obviously because professionals aren't the ones using it, so they'll have a limit to how strong they are.
Just gonna say this once and never again, because its really distressing and embarrassing to me personally, but besides the arms and legs and face, I do not know or expect myself to be able to remove intensely thick body hair on my ass and ass crack of all places lmao. And my back and shoulders, and everything inbetween, by myself, and be emotionally n mentally stable while doing this regularly. My body is personally very overwhelming to look, especially the places ppl often aren't thinking about. I'm certainly not gonna ask someone to do it for me. I still don't know how I'm going to go about asking this from the laser clinic I go to.
And THATS the exhausting part, even though no one is meaning to I'm kinda forced to remind myself about my conditions... when I'm literally just trying not to, and having to think or talk about the severity of my symptoms eventually leads to me triggering myself in the process. And its because those were all personal posts, where again I never asked for advice, and only scrape the surface of what I'm actually experiencing. If I need advice or help I always go and ask folk directly who I feel could help me. But I'm not looking for advice where I'm venting tiny crumbs of my pain on my personal blog lol.
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nikrangdan · 3 years
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classmate!sunghoon
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pairing: classmate!sunghoon x female reader
genre: fluff, comedy
description: you felt like park sunghoon was way, WAY out of your league... what happens when the teacher tells him to move seats and sit next to you?
*didnt proofread
————
becoming friends with park sunghoon was not something you expected to happen this year
throughout high school you had a small group of friends and never really stuck out
so when your teacher told sunghoon to move seats..
the seat happened to be the empty one next to..
guess who *cue the evil laugh*
YOU!!!!
your first thought was
‘this entire year is just gonna be him completely ignoring my existence or awkward interactions’
now you’ve heard of park sunghoon.... its basically a guarantee at your high school
he has this group of friends and theyre labelled as the popular kids i guess you could say
and the only reason he had to move seats in your two hour long class was because he and his friend jake goof off in class too often and your teacher deemed them “too distracting”
so eventually sunghoon was forced to move all the way across the classroom
right next to you
you were shocked to say the least
obviously he was handsome
too handsome to the point where you questioned how someone as good looking as him went to your school
he sighed and got up from his chair next to jake
but he still had a small smile remaining on his face indicating he wasnt that upset about him having to leave his friend
your heart began to beat quicker automatically as he walked towards your desk
even if you didnt have a crush on him like alot of people did, you still felt nervous around popular students like him for some reason
he ran his hand through his hair and sat down next to you, setting his bookbag on the floor next to him
he didnt look at you, nor acknowledge you
Awkward....
but nonetheless the lecture began again and the class sat in silence
taking notes on their laptops or sleeping
there were around 30 people in your class and your seat was in the middle row next to the window so you often gazed outside from the 2nd floor during class
you glanced to your right and noticed sunghoon slouched back in his seat, twirling around a pencil in his hand while his laptop remained open on his desk
it was just a white screen so he didnt take any notes
you were surpised because you knew he had fairly decent grades
you ignored your thoughts and continued taking your own notes
soon enough the bell rang and sunghoon stood up immediately and walked over to jake
‘yup’ you thought. ‘we are definitely not going to be having a single conversation this year.’
fast forward a couple days!!!!
you were sitting in class next to the boy
as normal
and you still have yet to talk to him.. mainly because you never initiated conversations ESPECIALLY when its a really really cute boy
anyways
ur teacher is like
Ok class im assigning a project and ur partner is the person sitting next to u
yay!!!!!! (can u sense the sarcasm)
welp
you sit in silence while everyone in the class starts discussing with their partners
the project is you have to make a presentation on a world issue of your choice
“um...” u start
sunghoon starts pulling out his laptop and binder
“what do you wanna do?”
he doesnt even look you
well!!!!!!
u didnt know sunghoon and his group of friends very well but u definitely thought they were more... friendly than this
its silent for like 5 seconds
“huh? oh sorry did you say something?”
“uh yeah.. i asked what you wanted to do for the project.”
“project?”
God u tried so hard not to laugh
you think he noticed because his cheeks turned a really light shade of pink
he looked so innocent
“yeah we have to make a presentation” you lightly chuckled
he was very amusing without even trying
“oh sorry haha.. i zone out easily”
“its okay.. but its due in less than 2 weeks so”
so you two spent the next hour choosing a topic and working on the project
it was kind of awkward for the first 10 minutes but then you warmed up to eachother
u were lucky that he was an extrovert too
(sunghoon is an extrovert for the sake of this story OK)
u were also lucky that he was smart
it was easy for you to talk to him.. he just felt comfortable
contrary to ur prior belief.. sunghoon was actually a really really cool guy
u used to think he was just a guy
now u think hes a really really cool guy
“can you please stop putting penguin clip art on the slides” you giggle
then he puts parrot clip art instead
“do your work!!!!” he was supposed to keep researching but he was trying to balance his pen on his nose
“shhh y/n... im doing something important.”
you roll your eyes
he was always doing something that was Not work
but you found it entertaining
and he’d make dumb little jokes that made you both hide your faces in your arms on top of the desk to hide your laughter
“hey y/n”
“what”
“what do you call an old snowman”
“i dunno.. snowgramps”
“no.. water”
you both made eye contact before bursting into laughter and then forcing yourselves to be quiet before u got in trouble
but that made everything funnier so you both were just covering your faces while trying so hard not to make a sound
this was so weird
u have never clicked with someone so fast before it honestly felt exciting
you were talking to sunghoon as if you’d been friends with him since birth
Very Very weird because you had only talked to him an hour ago and now u two are acting like besties ?!?!
jake noticed from across the room too
hes like ‘Why is sunghoon having fun without me🙄🙄’
the bell rings and so far you only have 2 slides
“we didnt get anything done” you note as you pack your bag
“yeah yeah i know. we can work on it more tomorrow”
“right.. see you tomorrow” you’re about to head out until jake walks up
“hey bro” he and sunghoon do some kind of made up handshake before he turns to look at you
now you know jake
everyone knows jake
you used to think he was the sweetest out of all their friend group
and he definitely lives up to that!!!
“hey y/n!” he gives u a smile
AWE hes so adorable
“hi” u reply
you were trying to speed up this conversation though so you could go eat lunch with your friend
“hows the project going?” he asks
“bad. sunghoon doesnt know how to do anything.” you deadpanned jokingly
sunghoon looks at you with an offended look that makes you wanna snort
“hey! you’re the one who doesn’t know how to add text to the slide!”
“what the hell sunghoon?! don’t tell him that, it’s embarrassing!” you give him a dirty look before walking out the classroom door with a smile on your face
days passed and you and sunghoon would only speak during that class but whenever you did it would be a mess
“sunghoon, y/n, quiet down! there is no reason for my classroom to be this loud!” your teacher scolds you two after sunghoon slapped his desk after you accidentally snorted
u two had such a weird relationship
u were almost strangers outside this one class but besties when u were in it
jake noticed too
one time he asked sunghoon during lunch why ur relationship was what it was
“i dont know.. thats just how we are” he answered
but jake kind of suspected sunghoon had a crush on u
*wiggles eyebrows*
it had only been a week but jake was determined to set u up together
“y/n you look cold, heres sunghoons jacket!”
“y/n sunghoon needs help with his homework, can you maybe do something about that..”
“sunghoon, y/n looks sad go give her a hug”
needless to say it worked!!!!
because a week after you presented your 2 weeks worth project
sunghoon asked u on a date
YUPPPPPP
let me recite how it went
u were walking out of class together because jake wasnt there that day
sunghoons bookbag was slung over one shoulder and u were stood next to him with both hands on ur straps
“hey.. do u wanna maybe go grab something to eat with me for dinner..? or something” he quickly asked
“what, like a date?” you joke
“uh.. yeah” he replied looking down at u
u stop in your tracks
WHA
No way
“wait what? seriously?” you look up at him with wide eyes
“yes u little munchkin” he pinches your cheeks exaggeratedly and pulls them to make your face sway everywhere
u swat them off so fast
“um.. okay” u answer and ur face heats up
you cant even look him in the eye
like u cant say u DIDNT see this coming but it was still a shock
“awe is y/n blushing” he teases
“go away stupid”
yeah he doesnt go away
ANYWAYS u are the cutest couple ever
everyone wants to be u two so bad!
couple goals literally
jake is so proud of himself honestly
whenever u get into a silly little argument his rebuttal is always
“remind me who got u the best boyfriend ever? thats right, me. dont try me y/n”
and ur like
“ooohhh jakey im so scareddd”
he cannot stand u
but Yeah sunghoon bestest bf ever
takes u on dates whenever u want to
makes u laugh very much
almost too much
and ur parents LOVE him
mhm sunghoon very awesome guy
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missmorosis · 3 years
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Jealous
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anonymous asked:
I’m BEGGING for a hc where zuko and sokka like the reader and get jealous of one another. Plot can be anything! :)))
anonymous asked:
oomgomg Hii u replied to me earlier 🥺👉🏽👈🏽 LOVE THAT YOU LOVE SOKKA!!! I love zuko too but sokka needs more appreciation imo.
Would u ever write an zuko and sokka x reader or oc where they both like the same person? Because I find myself conflicted between who I like more because they’re great for totally different reasons! Idkk but anyways looking forward to reading more of ur work!! And happy early valentines dayyyy 💕💕💕💕💕
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please this prompt makes my true beauty heart go 📈📈📈
ALSO THE TWO OF YOU BASICALLY HAD THE SAME REQUEST LSAKDJS
enjoyyy <33 THIS MAKES NO SENSE IM SORRY
Pairings: Sokka x Reader x Zuko
Warnings: fainting and sickness (sighh yes yes i wrote another sickfic IM OBSESSED) & it may be the worst thing ive ever written-
Summary: a sick y/n is caught up in a love triangle... which boy is better?
Word count: 1.4k :)
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The doorbell rang, and Y/N rushed to answer it. She opened the door to reveal a smiling Sokka. He was your best friend, so he normally showed up unannounced once in a while.
"Hey, Y/N!" he said.
"Hi, Sokka! What brings you here?"
"Knowing you, you probably haven't had dinner yet?" She nodded with a laugh. "Wanna get something to eat?"
It was past dinnertime, and she still wasn't hungry... In fact, the thought of food made her nauseous. Y/N nodded anyways, and Sokka smiled, getting his car keys out of his pocket.
Driving past the streets, the two blasted music out of the car's speakers, and Sokka sang along to all of the pop songs on the radio. Y/N laughed at the silly expression Sokka had on his face, even though the music was way too loud; it was honestly giving her a headache, but it was okay. She looked out the window to see Zuko, another close friend, heading out of the Jasmine Dragon. He must've just finished work...
"Oh, it's Zuko!" she chirped, giving him a wave. Sokka said nothing, his singing quieting down to silence, but he pulled over anyways to say hi. He parked his car, and the two hopped out.
“Y/N!” Zuko ran over with a huge grin on his face, waving his hand as a greeting. “Nice to see you again! Oh... hi Sokka.” Zuko’s cheerful smile slowly morphed into one of distaste when he noticed that she had been with Sokka.
“Hey, Zuko,” Sokka acknowledged. Y/N turned to see that Sokka’s face also fell when his eyes met Zuko’s. Sokka slung an unnecessary protective arm over her shoulders, and Y/N cleared her throat to clear up the growing tension. Shaking Sokka’s arm off, she opened her mouth to speak.
"Is it cold out here or is it just me?" Y/N blurted, causing Zuko and Sokka to look at each other worriedly. Sokka pulled off his jacket to throw it onto her. He zipped it up, and met her eyes.
"It's not cold at all... you feeling okay?" Y/N nodded slowly, signaling that she was okay, so Zuko and Sokka dropped the subject. She could have sworn it was chilly out.
"Anyways," Sokka continued, heading into his car, "wanna go grab dinner together or something?” The other two nodded, also following Sokka into the car. Y/N hopped into the passenger seat, and Zuko was stuck in the back seats. She could tell he wasn’t happy with her sitting next to Sokka, but she ignored it. They were just being plain childish, and it was giving her a headache.
“Oh, Y/N,” Sokka started. “I went to-”
"Sokka, go left," Zuko interuppted. Sokka sighed and turned the wheel, following through with Zuko’s command. 
As the car turned, it pushed Y/N to the side of the car, forcing her to lean on the car door. Deciding not to get up, she nuzzled closer to the car window, her warm breath fogging it up. She blinked, trying to stop the growing sleepiness clouding her head. 
Y/N heard Sokka ramble on about his day in the background, and her eyes closed for a second... just a second. She was just so... exhausted...
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"Hey... Y/N? Are you asleep?" Sokka's voice asked softly. He poked her side, making her slightly stir awake. She tried to lift her heavy eyelids. Wow, she felt so sluggish.
"What, is Sokka boring?" Zuko laughed, as Sokka gasped, offended. "I should have been the one driving next to her."
"Y/NNN- how could you fall asleep in the middle of my story?" Sokka shook Y/N awake with his free arm. "Come on, you can't leave me with Zuko."
"Hmm?" Y/N hummed quietly, letting them know she was awake. Her voice was raspy; she had a sore throat, but the boys seemed to wave it off as a symptom of sleepiness.
"Am I too boring for you?" Sokka asked.
"No, of course no-"
"So you're saying you'd be with Sokka rather than me?" Zuko accused.
"N-no-"
"So you'd rather be with Zuko?"
"What? You guys are arguing for no reason," she mumbled, but the two boys ignored her.
"Of course she'd rather be with me; she's just too nice to say that to your face," Sokka argued, his voice increasing in volume.
"No, then why would she fall asleep while you were talking? You're boring." Zuko's voice was also loud.
"Please stop," Y/N whispered, rubbing her temples, and this gesture didn’t go unnoticed. Sokka and Zuko froze at once, watching her with concern.
"You have a headache? Are you sick?" Sokka asked immediately. Y/N sighed and nodded.
"Is... that why you fell asleep- because you were sick?" Zuko added, and Y/N nodded again weakly, and sighed. Sokka reached out next to him and put his hand on her forehead.
"Y/N, you're burning up..." Sokka gasped.
"Let me see," Zuko mumbled, placing his hand on her forehead. He sighed. "Y/N, you feel really warm."
"I'm so sorry for waking you up- it would have been better for you to stay asleep," Sokka apologized.
"No, no. It's my fault." She shivered, pulling Sokka's jacket tighter. “If I knew I was sick, I shouldn’t have come with you guys.”
"Here, have my jacket, too." Zuko wrapped his jacket over her as well, draping it over her shoulders.
"She doesn't need more than one, Zuko," Sokka scoffed quietly. "Anyways, we can go home if you'd like?"
"Oh, no, don't worry about me! We can go get dinner or something, it's just a headache. It'll go away," she reassured them.
"I don't know..." Zuko said. "Maybe we can get something to eat at your house?" Sokka turned around, heading back towards Y/N's home.
"I agree, you need rest." Sokka looked at her in the mirror. "Sorry to break it to ya, but you don't look so good."
"Okay... if that's alright..." she said, and Sokka smiled.
Everyone arrived at Y/N's house, and Zuko helped you out.
"Shall we?" he asked, gently grabbing your hand.
"C'mon, Y/N," Sokka said, glaring at Zuko. He grabbed your other hand, and pulled you along.
"Y/N," Zuko muttered.
"Zuko, let go of her," Sokka said, warningly.
"Who do you think I am? I don't have to listen to you," Zuko snapped back.
"You guys are driving me insane, can't you both just shut up and get along?" Her voice now matched theirs in volume, and the two stopped arguing, looking apologetic.
Boy, were you lightheaded all of a sudden. She staggered on her feet, and she buried her face in her hands. Not now...
"What's wrong?" Sokka's voice immediately asked.
"Are... are we scaring you? We promise it's not going to get too serious..." Zuko sounded concerned. She could feel both of the boys' arms hovering around her body, trying to protect her, catch her if she fell, or give her reassurance.
"No, no..." she breathed. "I'm.. fine..." With that, she promptly passed out.
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Both boys rushed to be the one who caught Y/N. Zuko scooped her up into his arms, and he carried her into her room, leaving Sokka alone.
Zuko gently laid her down onto her bed, pulling the blanket over her. With a swift kiss that he was tempted to do all evening, he got up and headed out the door.
"Well..." he said, glancing at Sokka. The atmosphere was now awkward, and neither boy was going to leave for a while...
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Y/N woke up, and judging from her headache and how warm she felt, she wasn't any better. Groaning, she got out of bed, expecting to be alone, but she was wrong.
She opened her eyes to see two boys asleep on the couch. They had stayed...
Medicine was laid out for her on the counter, and she gladly took it.
"Y/N?" Zuko's voice croaked, making her jump.
"Oh, hey... I wasn't expecting you two to stay..." she said, and he rolled his eyes.
"Of course we stayed... you feeling better?" Concern was written all over his face.
"I still feel like trash..." she answered truthfully.
"Maybe I can kiss it better," Sokka said with a small, playful smile, now awake as well, and she laughed.
"Anyways, thank you both..." She gave a quick kiss on both of their foreheads, making both of them blush. "Now, get some rest at home... I'll be fine."
"No way, I'm staying," both said at the same time. Y/N sighed; there was no way of getting rid of them, and she loved them for that.
"Do you need anything?" Sokka asked, getting up to get her some water.
"Nah, I'm alright... we can watch a movie, though?" She flopped onto the couch, in between the two boys. She turned on the classic Meet the Robinsons and laid back.
Both boys rested their heads on her shoulders, and she laughed.
"You two are idiots, you're going to get sick." They shrugged, and she smiled.
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LMAOBDJJEEK OKAY WHOO IM TIRED BUT I WANTED TO GET SOMETHING OUT
this is totally unedited too IM SORRY
taglist (send an ask to get added!) @urmomoness @zuko-is-the-sun @busyforkuvira @appa-gaangnam-style @xxspqcebunsxx @akiris @welovediaaxx @ray-ofmoonlight @sokkaandzukosimp @u-4iia @sunnimochix @kaylove12
Zuko taglist: @duh-dobrik
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Note
Toko! I was thinking of creating an ask the character blog for IDV or Genshin Impact and wanted a few tips on how to start off. Anything you can share?
ey yo my dude!! thank you so much for this question, now im lowkey tempted (again) to make a genshin ask blog sjadhlkshgkahshglsaj anyway my 1.5 cents is under the cut, yall know how much i talk here HAHAHAHAH
uhhhhhh so i guess we start with picking a character u really Vibe with tm? I KNOW THIS SOUNDS LIKE COMMON SENSE BUT LIKE ive been considering making a genshin ask blog for a while now but i never really got to it cos i couldnt really decide on a character (plus the fact that their outfits are. so intricate. is also a hmm since i try to follow details to a t) (at first i wanted to do zhongli, but i feel like to be able to muse him well u need to know the lore super super well, which i dont n im too lazy to research on that aha. n u know how much i respect characterizations, especially for such a complex character like him. i also considered xiangling for a period of time mostly for guoba but also like i have 2+1 blogs here n having one more might not be a very good idea aha) (as for aesop he was my Hyperfixation Character tm also cos i looked at his kit n went Yep i could work with this. probably)
so assuming ur not a dumbass like me n u kinda know who u wanna pick, id actually say to snoop around here for other ask blogs n kinda get a feel of the... scene? is that the word? or like u know, other blogs that u can potentially vibe with. ive run a couple of ask blogs before this current one (both that have died for different reasons) n from my experience interacting with other blogs (if theyre okay with it, i think most should be) is pretty fun. it also kinda helps get ur blog around to other ppl on other blogs so they can go Oh whats this cool shit n check u out, n its also a reason why we kinda reblog promo posts for other blogs (also cos we’re always excited when someone new comes on, its really the more the merrier. we see all :eyes:). interacting with other blogs is also an option when ur inbox is looking real roomy too
another reason why i havent exactly done a genshin blog is that idk i cant actually seem to find genshin ask blogs around (i have seen rp blogs, or those that answer asks with mostly text instead of art, but thats. not my thing since i hate my own writing aha) (i did find one aether blog some time ago, but for some reason i hardly see them around anymore??? idk man i might be wrong). its not like im trying super hard to find them ask blogs, so im sure they exist out there (hopefully?? im not sure but im being optimistic). i mean theres nothing wrong with just starting an ask blog without others around, but for me i do find a difference when i interact with other ask blogs n when i dont, n i prefer when theres others to have fun with (unfortunately i couldnt find any ask blogs to interact with in my previous fandom. i tried, but the blogs i approached seemed to go inactive shortly afterwards...) plus u get to meet friends that way too :D (i made a lot of friends via idv askblogs n its really been a joy vibing with others)
as for the idv scene. gestures around me. unfortunately there are a lot of ask blogs that arent that active anymore, but theres still some of us who are alive n kicking empty inboxes, n im sure everyone would love to see a new face around. winks at u. also there seems to be a lot more blogs popping up lately, which is really heartening to see.
then u kinda just. make ur blog? n a starting introduction post so ppl can reblog it n spread the word XD n yay u have a blog i guess??? XD
i gotta say tho. dont expect ur blog to take off immediately (especially for smaller fandoms like idv, tvbh i didnt think my blog would even get half this far when i started cos of how non existent idv tumblr seemed to be) n ur inbox will probably be looking pretty empty a lot of the time (or at least filled with some that u havent quite thought of how to reply to yet aha) (but also like empty inboxes happen pretty often, im sure most of us here have experienced this problem)
in the case of the first ask blog i ever started, it never really took off at all. ngl it was kind of demoralizing n depressing but to be fair i had picked one of the more obscure characters in the series, so obscure that many ppl in the fandom would have never heard of this character before. if u wanted to know, i took a character that only appeared in the 2nd musical of the series, who also made a very brief cameo in the manga to acknowledge his existence within that universe. thats how obscure my character was, but i went with him purely because he was my favourite character. i will say though i did enjoy it while it lasted n i learnt a lot from the experience, n i think thats whats important really.
i guess this kinda leads on (not really but let me digress) to the whole uhhhh thing where if u choose a more popular character, u get more attention. which is fine i guess? if u really vibe with the character, i mean theyre popular for a reason. n choosing a more popular fandom (like genshin) would objectively also get u more viewers n numbers. but like honestly i believe that ask blogs are meant for u to have fun with, n like trying to get popular gets tiring pretty fast (this shouldnt be like a main goal, but u know sometimes u subconsciously also want that gucci follower count n bomb ass notes or something. i used to be guilty of this until i realized it isnt worth it) especially if ur not enjoying yourself in the process. (case in point: my previous fandom was considerably larger n my blog got about 700 followers within a year or so, but it got very tiring n stressful to maintain after my interest in it died, n no one was really interacting with the blog even though i tried which kinda made it even more depressing despite the so called success n popularity of the blog)
anyway on a less serious note, theres a lot of fun stuff u can do with the ask blog, like some ask blogs have really fancy tags that i really like n try to do but also like not really HAHAHAHA. i kinda just channel what i want to see in an ask blog into my own ask blogs (good art is one, i try very hard for it to be good :,DD another is characterization, n others is just extra miscellaneous arts n stuffs like au ideas or memes. these are also somethings u could work on during ask box downtimes perhaps)
uhhh another side thing is like a posting schedule i guess? like ppl would be more likely to interact (i think) if ur blog is relatively active, n this is usually determined by the last post u made (i think XD). but like generally for blog maintenence id say try to kinda find a frequency that ur comfortable with?? cos i know my once a day posting is kinda insane if i wasnt so hyperfixated on all of this n fight the urge to dump all ur replies when u finish them XD (though ive seen some blogs do that n they do it pretty frequently so its pretty nice to know once u see their post u can spend some time going through the latest batch of posts XD) the queue function is pretty useful here even though i truthfully have never really used it, i kinda just post from my drafts really but it also helps to space out ur content to seem somewhat active especially when u dont have the time to be working on replies sometimes. i hope u know what im trying to say here aha
ANYWAY that was like my 1.5 cents cos i dont even think its worth 2 cents HAHAHAHAH these are just my thoughts from running all my blogs up till now, some that are still running n the others that have just died a natural death. i wouldnt actually delete them (theyre still around actually XD) cos theyre kinda like archives n i can look back at what i did last time. cos ngl i made some high quality stuff back then, n i dont even know how i managed to do that aldhflhdsgk. also ppl do look at archive blogs every now n then for the content thats there yknow
BUT YES anyway if u do decide to join the idv ask blogs hmu, ill be sure to give u a lil shoutout here. winks
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artificialqueens · 4 years
Text
Girl I Met On The Internet, 3/? (Crystal x Gigi) - Strawberry
a/n: sorry i haven’t updated in a bit! i had a migraine for almost a week straight so it took me a hot minute to finish this lol but i hope you guys enjoy this chapter!! and i want to thank everyone again for all of the positive feedback!! it means the world to me <3
It had now been two months since Gigi met Crystal and she had never enjoyed being on Twitter more than she did now. Sure, her past self said the exact same thing when she had met Jan almost two years ago, and then when they had befriended Jaida, Nicky and Heidi, but this felt so much different. Gigi loved the other four girls to death, but she had made a stronger connection with Crystal, despite knowing her for the least amount of time.  
Whether it was messaging Crystal about nothing, or replying to her tweets with nonsense, Gigi spent almost every minute she was online interacting with her. Gigi could not deny it anymore, she was definitely whipped for this girl she had met on the internet, and the other girls were definitely starting to catch on.
jaida @.essenceofbey 
if gigi doesn’t stop flirting and actually ask crystal out in the next two minutes i’m going to block her
nicky @.nickisdoll
well… au revoir, gigi! 
gigi @.bitchjenner
i have no idea what u guys are talking about! crystal and i are platonic soulmates!
Despite the fact she made her crush on her new friend incredibly obvious, Gigi refused to actually acknowledge it. Jan and Nicky were the most determined to try to get Gigi to crack, but the most Gigi would say that Crystal is just really nice and funny, and would change the subject immediately. Gigi didn’t think she had it in her to tell any of her friends, let alone Crystal how she felt, even though she desperately wanted to, but she just couldn’t bring herself to do it yet, no matter how much she wanted to. 
Gigi’s feelings were very new to her. She knew she liked girls, but none of her crushes had ever lasted for more than two weeks. Gigi always saw this as a good thing, as she wasn’t out to anyone besides her mother and the group chat and she planned to keep it that way until she had moved away for college. She never planned on pursuing anyone romantically until she was older. 
Crystal, however, made this promise extremely hard to keep. As unfamiliar the feelings Gigi had whenever she talked to and flirted with Crystal were, she liked them. A lot.
Gigi came to realize that this made her feel vulnerable, which she was also not used to in the slightest. Gigi loved to pretend that she did not have feelings, and if she could, she would keep up that facade for the rest of her life.  
On top of all of this, Gigi felt guilty about keeping this from Jan. Jan had a handful of flings and even a girlfriend since they had become friends, and she told Gigi every single detail about the various girls and the experiences with them, and even cried to Gigi for days when said girlfriend broke up with her. Gigi wanted to give that energy back. 
Gigi weighed the pros and cons of telling Jan. The only con was that Jan would know that Gigi is capable of feeling emotions, which she didn’t like, but she was able to convince herself that it wasn’t that big of a deal. So, when Gigi had gotten home from cheer, she enlightened Jan.  
gigi: hey jan guess what
jan!: hm?
gigi: what if i told u that uhhh 
gigi: ihaveacrushoncrystal
jan!: i would say i’m not surprised. you hated one direction before you met her and you made her tell you everything about them.
gigi: no u are surprised this is brand new information
jan!: so glad you admitted it finally tho <3
jan!: are you gonna ask her out??
gigi: i dont know
gigi: she lives in missouri too so we might not have to do long distance but idk where bc i panicked at the thought of her being close to me and lowkey shut it down
jan!: omg could you imagine if yall were irls
gigi: i would know if she lived in my town… there’s no way i could miss her chaotic energy
jan!: okay but you need to tell her
jan!: i know you hate talking about feelings bc you think you’re a robot but if you can tell me, you have it in you to tell her too. i believe in you and i know the other girls do too.
gigi: i will this weekend. i promise
Gigi did not tell Crystal that weekend. She didn’t tell her the next weekend, either. There were a couple of letters Gigi had written in her notes app confessing her feelings for Crystal, but they never made it out. Every time she went to copy it to send to Crystal, she backed out. 
gigi @.jennerbitch
this is impossible
crystal @.mitamcrystal
what is? ily :(
gigi @.jennerbitch
i dont wanna talk about it
-
Crystal had noticed the shift in Gigi’s energy almost instantly. The girl who was usually confident and witty almost always seemed nervous and somewhat irritated, and would always deny it and change the subject if Crystal mentioned it. 
Crystal couldn’t help but be upset about this; she was extremely emotional and took almost everything to heart! Her brain had instantly come up with the conclusion that Gigi figured out she liked her, and was uncomfortable with it. Deep down, Crystal knew this didn’t make sense, as Gigi would still flirt with her occasionally. Gigi would’ve stopped if Crystal liking her made her uncomfortable, right?
The old Gigi came back one day. It had only been two weeks since this had started, but to Crystal, it felt much longer. 
crystal @.mitamcrystal
i kinda wanna dye my hair again… thoughts?
gigi @.jennerbitch
omg yes dm me now
gigi: crystal crystal cryssieeeeee
gigi: what color do u want to dye ur hair???
gigi: i think green would look nice!
crystal: i was thinking pink but i think i’m on team green now
gigi: hehe good <3
Crystal grinned. She wasn’t sure why this in particular made Gigi go back to normal, she found it extremely odd but she was not going to complain. Crystal had missed this.
When she headed to the store to get the hair dye, Crystal updated Gigi on everything happening; the stray cat she saw, the fact that the only non-natural hair color available was neon green for some bizarre reason, even the fact that Crystal knew the cashier from school. Gigi knew Crystal was doing this because she had missed feeling close to her, and Gigi loved every single minute of it. 
Crystal stopped updating her when it was time to actually dye her hair, saying she didn’t want her phone to be green. Gigi understood but was sad; she wanted to keep talking to Crystal to make up for the two weeks they had gone without talking for more than ten minutes at a time. She told herself that it was okay, they were back to normal and as long as she didn’t fuck up again, she could have Crystal back for good.
A couple hours later, Crystal finally returned.
crystal: it’s done!!!! 
gigi: ooooh lemme see!!!!
gigi: only if u want to show me ofc.. i dont want u to be uncomfortable.
crystal: hold on… i need to find a snapchat filter that makes me look pretty 
gigi: :(( i bet u look pretty no matter what
crystal: ehhhh 
gigi: im right!!!
crystal: what if… you sent me a selfie back… aha… unless?
gigi: i think i could arrange that… it’s only fair!
crystal: OMG YAY!!!
crystal: ok here it is! hi :)
When the image loaded, Gigi’s stomach dropped. Not because Crystal was ugly, she was the complete opposite. There was no doubt that Crystal was beautiful, even her teeth were perfect. Her brown eyes were rich and soft, and her hair was shoulder-length and very curly. The neon green looked great on her. She had even found a filter that put little dinosaurs on her rosy cheeks, Gigi thought that filter was made for Crystal.
gigi: CRYSTAL!!!! ur so stunning holy fuck
gigi: but i dont think ur gonna think the same about me
Gigi was not going to let herself back out this time. It was now or never. She sent her selfie in return, preparing for the worse. Crystal was not going to be happy.
crystal: uh
crystal: what the fuck
Gigi’s stomach had dropped because she knew Crystal from school.
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ohshcwrites · 5 years
Text
Maybe it’s cuz I’m wearing your cologne (Kyoya x reader)
So, I hope this is good lol. I redid this like 10 times and im still not ‘happy’ with the outcome. Requests are open!
“Hey. Hey, (y/n)? Wake up, we’re going to be late for school.” Kyoya’s voice brought (y/n) to her senses. Shooting up straight in a hurry made the two bump heads.
“Oh crap, That's going to leave a bruise. Sorry babe.”  (y/n) rubbed the growing red spot on her forehead, while using her other hand to run Kyoya’s growing bump.
“You're even clumsy when you just wake up.” Chuckling lowly, Kyoka pulled (y/n) into his chest. “We leave for school in 10 minutes, I have an extra toothbrush in the bathroom.” nodding (y/n) gave Kyoya a small kiss and ran to his bathroom.
Once she finished brushing her hair, teeth, and she washed her face she called out to Kyoya. “Hey, babe?”
Looking up from his solid black notebook he grabbed his and (y/n)’s school bags. “What is it?” It wasn’t normal annoyed voice, this one had a bit of caring undertone to it.
“You wouldn’t happen to have another uniform dress, would you?” Her (s/c) face popped out with her natural (wavy, straight, poofy, etc) hair swinging behind her.
“Kyoya’s mouth turned up at the sight. What turned into an accidental sleepover was probably the best thing that had happened to him in a while. “Now tell me, sweetheart. Have you ever seen me wear a dress to school?”
A bright smile came from (y/n). The exact opposite of what Kyoya that would happen. “Y’know, Haruhi and I were talking and she told me about how the whole host club cross-dressed just to stop her from moving schools.” (y/n) let out a mocking laugh going back into the bathroom to try to fix the wrinkles in her long yellow dress.
With a sour face, Kyoya looked at his watch, “Time to go, I need to have a talk with Haruhi. I got your bag.”
“Huh? Wait, I didn’t shower today! Or get my contact solution! Do you have any perfume I can use.” Sighing Kyoya took her chunky black glasses out of her bag so she could see. (y/n) hated her glasses, she thought it made her face look weird. But on the opposite side, Kyoya loved seeing her wearing glasses. No real reason, he just loved every part of her.
“(y/n), look me in the eyes and tell me if you really think I have perfume.” Kyoya’s sarcastic voice made (y/n) blush as she acknowledged her mistake.
“Okay, at least let me use your cologne. I don’t want any chance of me smelling rank at school.” rolling his eyes Kyoyawalked over to his dresser and grabbed his cologne.
“It’s strong, just use-” too late, (y/n) sprayed one squirt on her neck and one on her wrist rubbing her two wrists together. (y/n) was used to the weak smelling perfume that never lasted for a minute. “One.”
“Ugh. come on, I just want this day to be over.” (y/n) grabbed Kyoya’s hand and pulled him out of his room.
A fond smile found its way onto Koyay’s lips. The saying opposites attract seemed to be true in this situation, and surprisingly Kyoya didn’t mind at all.
Fast walking down the extravagant stairway, the couple came face to face with Kyoya’s father.
“Hello, Sir.” A polite smile spread across (y/n)’s face. “I apologize for staying over without your permission. Kyoya was helping me study, since he is one of the smartest people I know, and I fell asleep.”
“Don’t worry. Your company is always welcome here.” That was the biggest compliment in the world, well at least to (y/n). She was glad that one of their dads approved of their relationship. Yes, (y/n)’s mom knows and she accepts it with a full heart, but her father was a different story.
“Thank you, Sir.  If you would excuse us, we’re running late to school so we best be going. Thank you once again, and for raising such a smart and wonderful son!” With a blush on her face and a red tint on Kyoya’s, they were out of the house and settled into one of the Ootori’s limousine.
“You look beautiful, darling.” Kyoya pulled (y/n) by her waist and kissed her forehead.
“You think so? I’m bare faces, my hair is a mess, and I'm wearing my glasses, plus I didn’t get to shower.” (y/n) whined leaning into Kyoya’s uniform blazer.
“I believe you're gorgeous no matter what you wear.” (y/n) ‘aww’ed and gave Kyoya a lengthy kiss.
“What are we going to tell people when they see us leaving the same car?”
A bit of background information; (y/n)’s father doesn't approve of her dating Kyoya. Why? Well, the (l/n) business was doing much better than the Oortori’s own. (y/n)’s father's plan- not her mothers; she hated it- was for (y/n) to marry up in the business food chain, so to speak. On the other hand, Kyoya’s father was as proud as he could be towards his third son. A marriage between the two families would be a huge deal for the Ootori business.
“Would it be so bad to have our relationship go public?” Of course, Kyoya had his doubts about what people would do and say, most of all how Mr. (l/n) would react.
“You should be worried about the host club. It’s one of the ways you want to show your father you can run your family's company. I’d be happy if we would go on dates outside of your house, but I love the close intimate moments that being alone provided. And with my father, I’d deal with whatever he says or does because I love you that much. I’m not going to leave you, well unless you get tired of me.” sliding her smooth, (s/c) hands to his cheeks making sure she conveys her true feelings to him.
Kyoya moves his face away from her hands and gave a small hum, showing he was deep in thought.
“Well, it looks like we're here. (y/n) go ahead and get out now, ill have the driver pull around.” A cold smile was stuck on his lips, disappointed that (y/n) would want to continue to hide their 7th-month relationship.  
“Kyoya Ootori, I love you! And only you. Don’t you dare doubt that for even a second! I just like you being alive rather than dead. If you were dead then I would kiss you,” With a sweet lingering kiss, (y/n) took her to leave and walked up to her friends as the sleek black limo pulled away.
--------  
“Hey, (y/n)! You're late today. Come on we have class in 10.” another second year, Mina, said as she linked arms with (y/n).
“Wait for me!” A giggling Keia
“Hey, do you smell that?” Keia walked closer to (y/n), smelling the air as she went. “Why do you smell like cologne?” Keia asked with a smirk on her face. The two girls had been trying to convince you to tell them you had a boyfriend. Yet they had no luck or even proof.
“Oh my god! We knew it! You DO have a boyfriend!” The yelling Mina did in the hallway caught most people attention. (y/n) was popular, well not her but the business aspect of it, there would definitely be rumors by the start of lunch if not sooner.
“Hush will you?! If I tell you will you be quiet?” (y/n) snapped, pulling the two girls by their wrists making sure they go to class on time.
“Promise!” Mina and Keia said together.
“Fine, yes I have a boyfriend I’m not saying who. But i-”
“Class has started ladies. If you do not quiet down I will send you somewhere else. Now separate.” The strict voice of the physics teacher rang out, embarrassing all three girls. A little laugh that (y/n) could place anywhere. Fu***n Kyoya Ootori. He was laughing at (y/n)’s pain and no one knew it was him chuckling, which pissed (y/n) off further. Not even giving him the satisfaction of looking in his direction,(y/n) got up out of the desk chair and walked further away from Kyoya.
*buzz*
A vibration only (y/n) can feel comes from her satchel bag. While pulling out her books, pens, and pencils, (y/n) also took out her phone.
‘ ’ - (y/n)
Underline- Mina
Bold- Keia
U need 2 tell us y ur wearing his cologne
(y/n) rolled her eyes, knowing there was no escaping them now.
‘I stayed the night at his house...’
NOO
AHHH! Girl, I knew u were dirty
Yeah! Did u do the Wham Bam Shang-A-Lang?
‘Oh no,’
‘We were studying and I fell asleep.’
‘I’m still in my clothes from yesterday, so I’m wearing his cologne’
“That's it!” A bang of a ruler as it hits the table rang out causing some female students to yelp, including the three that were on their phones. “(l/n), outside now! And leave your phone on your desk.”  blushing, more like wearing a mask of, red (y/n) quickly put her phone down and walked out of class.
Tears of frustration welled up, “God, why am I crying?” (y/n) sat on the floor, sitting against the wall a few feet away from the classroom door. Time has passed, most likely 10 minutes before (y/n)’s tears stopped.
The door to the classroom swung open making (y/n) tense thinking it was the teacher. To her surprise and fortune, Kyoya walked out of the room. Once the door closed Kyoya walked to (y/n), helping her stand on her feet.
“Kyoya I-” The tears came back, but before they could fall Kyoya squeezed her forearms tightly.
“Can you hold on for a little while longer?” His silk like voice sounded into her ear.
“Y-yes…” came (y/n)’s unstable reply.
“Then hold out your hand.” Pulling back Kyoya sets his own hand out for (y/n) to grab. Once (y/n) placed her hand into his, Kyoya pulled on (y/n)’s hand spinning her into his chest so her back is smooth against his chest. “We are having a talk about why you're so distracted later, my love, but until then try to behave.” kissing (y/n)’s neck in various places Kyoya tries to be cool when he really happens to be anxious about why (y/n) causing so much trouble today.
“Go back to class, baby. We don’t need you getting in trouble too, now do we?” (y/n) laughed as Kyoya spun her back out.
“No more tears. I’ll see you later. Don’t worry I’ll get your phone back.” With a sweet kiss, Kyoya walked back inside the classroom.
---------
“I can’t believe that a** hole left you outside of the room for an hour,” Keia complained as she handed (y/n) her school bag.
“I know! And this is the first time that (y/n)’s ever been in trouble, well in her class that is.” Mina slightly laughed. A tense silence was strung along while (y/n) was waiting by the door. “Sorry, about getting you in trouble. And that we couldn’t get your phone back.” Mina whispered as she shifted her dirty blonde bangs out of her eyes.
“No worries guys, I’m not upset.” A true smile set on (y/n)’s face made her two friends very confused.
“What do you mean? You literally never go anywhere without it.” Keia pried, something she was very good at.
“I just have someone dealing with it…” A fond smile slowly crept upon (y/n)’s face.
“Oh my! It’s has something to do with your secret boy toy doesn't it!” The perky girls yelled out in unison, making everyone around them stare hard. Including Kyoya and Tamaki who just strolled up next to the trio.
“Girls! He’s not my ‘boy toy’, I actually love him- very much.” (y/n) snuck a peek at the boys next to her blushing all the while.
“Wow, not even going to tell us off for being loud? You must realllllly like this guy.” Mina’s words caught Tamaki’s ears and were implanted into his brain, which told him to butt-in on their conversation.
“Ah, what are my dear princess talking about?” The blonde boy asked as he stepped before Keia, knowing that she would be the one to spill the gossip.
“Ah, Tamaki, what do you want?” Mina, and (y/n) obviously, visit the host club enough to know the host king himself. Plus being personal friends of Haruhi (knowing she is a she, but others not knowing that they know) helped a bit too.
“I overheard that one of my favorite princess’ has a crush on someone. So, (y/n), whos the lucky guy?”
“Ha! More than like, she told us that shes in loooove with him.” Keia laughed bumping shoulders with the most embarrassed girl in the world.
“Pray tell, Keia,” Kyoya said sliding into step with (y/n), his hand grazing hers.
“Keiaaaa!” (y/n) whined, if the girls only knew that (y/n)’s secret boyfriend was walking right next to her. “I told you to keep quiet!” An angry blush spread across her face.
“Oh hush, now. I don’t see why it’s a big deal to announce your love for him to the world!” Mina laughed, mocking (y/n) a little bit.
“Hey, (y/n)?” Tamaki asked suddenly turning serious.
“Yeah?”
“Is everything okay… at home?” A confused expression sprung across (y/n)’s face, totally unknowing where Tamaki was going with his point.
“I guess? I didn’t go home last night.” (y/n) shrugged, turning her attention to the blonde male.
“Yeah, hehe, (y/n) stayed with her boyfriend.” Keia laughed, but on the contrary, Tamaki’s expression darkened a bit.
“How did you get that bruise?” (y/n) had totally forgotten she had bumped heads with Kyoya this morning, her skin is sensitive so when she got hit even bumping into a table she would bruise.
“Tamaki, what are you implying?” Kyoya asked his jaw tightening. Tamaki, even if he doesn’t know he is the one dating (y/n), pissed him off by thinking he’d even lay a single finger on (y/n). Just the thought was sickening to him.
“(y/n), I think what Tamaki is trying to say is…. Did he-- hit you? Is that why you didn’t go home?” (y/n) stopped walking, her chest tightening in an angry fashion.
“Excuse me?” The group stopped walking and turned to face the angry (h/c), haired girl. “You obviously don’t know him that well then! I mean Tamaki you literally spend every day with him! How can you possibly think, even for a second, that he would hurt me in any way? And you girls, I literally tell you not to tell anyone- but no, you had to open your mouths. I have to get to class. Kyoya you're the only one who isn’t pissing me off, walk with me to class.” (y/n) and Kyoya left the three others in their wake, both of them upset.
“I want to go public.” (y/n) said abruptly, making Kyoya shift his eyes over to her smaller figure.
“You’re only saying that because you’re angry.” A loving kiss is placed on top of (y/n)’s head. “We will talk about this after school. I think that since you told Tamaki about your secret boyfriend, we need to tell the host club… before this gets any more attention.” pressing a gentle, slim finger to her purple bruise.
“Fine, I love you.”
“Love you too.” they walked into their separate classes, both waiting anxiously for the day to end.  
--------
Walking out of (y/n)’s last class of the day she wandered the empty halls slowly making her way to music room 3. The teacher held her back to go over some questions she missed on her last math test.
(y/n) decided to get her stuff out of her locker before heading over to see Haruhi. She gently placed her hands on the lock and twisted in her combination. She took her books out and closed the locker. Turning around (y/n) didn’t expect to be pushed into the lockers.
“What the hell?!” (y/n) yelled, the metal digging into her back making her cry out louder.
“I saw you today. With Kyoya.’’ the voice of some girl (y/n) has never seen before gives (y/n) a light scare.
“Let go of me you psycho b*tch!” (y/n) struggled but the force of the shove knocked the air out of her lungs, making her not able to put up much of a fight.
“No, you listen to me. You will break up with Kyoya. You will not talk to any of the host club members again. And you will never speak of this to anyone. Understand?” the girl pushed (y/n) into the lockers with more force, pulling (y/n) up and then slamming her back down. The sound echoing around the spacious hallway.
“Or what? You’ll t-tell daddy? I think y-you’re forgetting who I am.” (y/n) grunted out her chest having a hard time breathing with all the force on her.
“I don’t care who you are. You’re pathetic and ugly. You’re not good enough for Kyoya!”  The mystery girl swung her hand up fully prepared to slap (y/n) across the face.
“Enough!” The strong voice of the boy they were ‘discussing’ bounced off the walls of the corridor. Kyoya pushed the girl back hard enough to have to step a few paces back.
“WHat the HeLl is gOinG oN?” Haruhi yells as she, and the rest of the club run up to a shaking (y/n) in Kyoya’s arms.
Tamaki and the twins are left in charge of taking care of the girl, a terrible decision really.
“Kyoya, how did you know where I was?” (y/n) asked, ignoring the others that had crowded around them.
“Nevermind that, are you okay?” Kyoya leaned away to check for any noticeable damage.
“My back hurts, but it’s mostly my pride.” (y/n) giggled a bit, trying to lighten the mood.
“You’re such an idiot sometimes,” Kyoya said with a sigh.
“Yes, but I’m your Idiot!” (y/n) giggled before kissing Kyoya slowly, it was only for a second or two before (y/n) could hear Hikaru yelling,
“Woah, Woah, Woah! There are children here.” Haruhi pushes the hand that Hikaru had over her eyes.
Ignoring the yelling between the twins, Haruhi, and Tamaki- with the occasional yell from Honey- The couple gets lost in their own conversation.
“So, have you decided on our ‘secret’ relationship?” Kyoya hummed into (y/n)’s neck making her laugh the wholeheartedly.
“Okay, okay. You got me, let's go public!” (y/n) laughed as Kyoya kissed her. “Thinking about it now, it’s not a big deal.”
“To me it is. I get to claim you as mine- and only mine.”
“Hold on! Since when did you start dating?!”
“Hush Tamaki-senpai, they’re having a moment”
“But mommy hid something from daddy!”
“Oh no, not again-
97 notes · View notes
wokainight · 5 years
Text
NCT: The Mafia Game (dons part one)
preview: “uh i just moved here and i found--” there’s a strong hand that pulls on your neck and right onto the guy’s face. he stares at you for a long while, as if trying to remember your features. 
note: meet my bias wrecker atm (psst! this is super long)
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the neighbourhood that you lived at was notorious for being ridden with crimes and illegal acts in general. but being the broke university student you were, it was a home >>>>> safety
no way in hell were u living in the streets
a warm home is better than none... right?
the rent was cheap and it was only half an hour away from ur uni-- so really, there was no reason to as why u shouldn’t have sealed the deal
the middle aged lady who handed u the keys looked like she wanted to throw herself off the fifth floor-- and never look back
she just grumbles about not forgetting rent and hikes back down the long trail of stairs-- 
ofc theres no elevator 
you take your only suitcase inside to see a barren landscape. there was literally no furniture and you curse your luck that u didn’t look over the contract details more closely
so u sort of set up a futon style accomodation using the blanket u bought and some towels
it was kinda late by the time u unpacked (by that i mean scatter everything on the floor)
there’s a loud noise outside and it was as if someone fell down--
so with the courage of a tin can, u sort of crab walked towards your door and opened it slightly, peeking thro the dim lighting
there’s a body on the floor and u sort of threw the door open and went over to the body-- it’s a guy-- was the first thing u noticed and you kind of skim over the content of the crime scene to deduct that he was alone-
so you kind of flip him over
(and that flipped u off)
because there’s a pure, raw stab wound on his left abdomen and ur kinda (morethan) shook because you’re not a med student or anything but u briefly recalled the first aid class u took during high school
so as best as u can, you dragged the male, almost twice your size, into the comfort of your strictly barren home and rummaged through the content of antiseptic and measly bandages you had to help him stop bleeding
there’s a groan as a response when you peel off the shirt drowning in blood with an apology for invading his privacy (but otherwise he could potentially die??)
and put pressure on the wound and the male trashed in response, his eyes opened slightly, chest heaving and perspiration running down his temple
“w-who?” he barely managed, before you accidentally added more pressure due to shock
“uh i just moved here and i found--” there’s a strong hand that pulls on your neck and right onto the guy’s face
he stares at you for a long while, as if trying to remember your features
you notice his clear eyes, nose, and slowly trail down to his lips. if this guy wasn’t the definition of attractive-- you srsly don’t know what would be
the hand on your neck slowly moves on to the space between your shoulder and your neck
it’s so intimate for a first encounter, and you kind of squeak out as a result
“u-uh, the- the ointment” you stutter out, reaching out for the antiseptic “this will hurt” you gave out the precaution, but there was no reply aside from the extensive gaze
the male clenches down on his teeth as you apply the medicament as gently as possible, and then grabs the biggest bandage you could find before covering the wound with it
you don’t know if it’s right or wrong but at least he’s not bleeding out profusely anymore and you’re about to grab your phone to call emergency services so he could be properly treated at a hospital
“what are you doing?” there’s more a glare to his eyes than before
“im not a professional,” you admitted cleanly. “and i think you need further treatment, so i’m calling the--”
“end the call”
“huh?”
“i said end the call” there’s a chill that goes down your spine and you sort of pressed the button in reflex
the guy lets out a vague exhale when he sees you sort of shiver in your spot
“i don’t feel as if i’m dying anymore” he looks away while saying this “and lend me your phone, i’ll have someone pick me up”
so you kind of handed it to him and he’s having much difficulty trying to lift his arm up because everywhere hurts and god knows how many muscles in the abdomen is triggered
“maybe i can ring it and then pass it to you?” 
and the guy sort of shrugs and gives it back to you while reciting the number. you then proceed to put the phone against his ear
“hey, pick me up. i’m...” he looks at you with a questioning gaze and you sort of tilt your head at this but then whispers the address. “yeah it’s the one beside the meeting point. they broke their end of the deal but i have what we needed so tell taeyong to stop worrying”
and then the two of you kind of stayed still in that awkward position
“name”
you look at him again, brows raised “what?”
“your name. what is it?”
you’re not keen on passing out your identity to random strangers- esp not in this dodgy complex... but maybe he just wants to thank you? so you’re positive and trusting and hands him over your name
he doesn’t reply after that because there’s a knock on your door and you’re reluctant to open it but the guy on the ground nods at you “it’s probably my friend but just ask if he’s jaehyun”
as you inch towards the entrance, you kinda stumble over your words,,,
“is it... uh... j-jaehyun?”
there’s a short break in the knocking and a low, “yes” took place
so you open the door and an equally dashing presence enters your view
the guy-- jaehyun-- nods at you in acknowledgement and walk towards the figure on the floor.
“you look worse than i thought” jaehyun joked, first thing in the morning (well technically it was 12:07... so)
“shut up” 
so jaehyun hauls the guy over his shoulder, and using enough sense to rest him on the side without the wound (but the injured dude still flinched anyway
before jaehyun fully passes you, the guy says something unexpected
“i’m doyoung” 
so the night was craaaazzyyyy but you sort of lived through it and cleaned up the blood stains on the floor and finally got to bed
you try not to think of everything that just happened (it was all too vivid) and try to focus on having a productive day at uni tomorrow with hopefully no distractions
the next morning was normal-- no wounded guys outside your door-- and you wake up extra early, around 6ish, to make your way to uni
at this time, none of the other tenants are awake so its nice and peaceful
and the next few days continued in the same routine
it was exactly a week since that you’re back from your long day of studies and part time job that you find a figure leaning against your door
at first you’re on defence, getting the umbrella inside your bag ready (the lighting was dim omfg)
and then when you near and was about to attempt a hit with the said umbrella the figure notices you and sort of defended himself first
“it’s doyoung”
and you stop and try and rack your mind for the name
it is late
and u were technically half ded
but then
it came
oh
doyoung
d o y o u n g
OOHHHHHHHHHHHH
you lowered your umbrella and sort of tilted your head horizontally to try to examine his wound but ofc there’s a shirt over it and u don’t have xray vision (u wish tho) (sort of) (maybe) 
the corner of doyoung’s lips raise as he looks over you but nods towards your door
“it isn’t polite to keep a guest outside”
and then you purse your lips “are you always this snappy?”
doyoung shrugs but you sigh and opens the door for him
there’s still nothing inside but he’s seen it so you kind of drop your bag once you’re inside and reminds doyoung to lock the door after him
doyoung takes his time to look around for good this time and comments, “there really was nothing”
and you shrug while rummaging through the cabinet for a midnight snack “im broke” was all that was needed to be said
“still” doyoung addressed “you need a bed at least. and maybe a fridge”
“there’s a working bathroom and that’s good enough for me” you shrug again, successfully pulling out a snack you bought a few days ago
“what is that” doyoung stares at the snack in your hand
and ur starting to wonder if he’s a foreigner
“it’s my dinner” you say , not ashamed at all
the dude just gasps at you in shock “theres no nutritional value in it whatsoever” he iterates very slowly, as if you were a five year old
you sigh as you take a seat on the floor, plopping another one piece of the snack into your mouth
“okay so i saved you and this is what i get? ofc i know it’s not good for me but it’d rather eat something than starve okay”
doyoung hesitates to reply and it kinda aggravates you a little because why is he back??? he hadn’t thanked u this whole time and ur kinda slightly maybe very little a bit pissed at that
like ur work is a charity u know but dude u deserved a thank you at the very least
so you popped the question
“why are you here”
“...why do you think i’m here”
you’re literally on your last strand of hair, “we’re not playing twenty questions and it’s late. i need to sleep.”
doyoung cocks a brow at you but gets the message and turns to leave
he opens the door slightly and turns back to look at you,
“i was here to express my gratitude since you literally saved my life. but i guess you don’t need that.”
and he disappears into the night
you literally feel bad as soon as he left but ur kinda stressed juggling uni and working too many job for your own good
so you sleep and try to forget it all
he won’t come back anyways
no point on crying over spilled milk
but o H BO YYYYY
you’re wrong
because the next morning, there’s a knock on your door as you were getting ready for uni once again, eyebags and all
and the moment u opened the door, your eyes just widen
“why are you here” you’re a broken machine w no creative content, pls bear with me
doyoung sort of holds back a smile at this because you look so lost and your bed hair was everywhere-- literally
“i’m resilient” was all he said as he brings up a plastic bag “figured that you probably wouldn’t eat breakfast” he hands it over to you “i’ve got your lunch covered too so eat it on your way to school”
and u froze
“how.... did you know i was a student”
doyoung doesn’t even try to look sorry, “i did a little digging”
oh
well ok
???!?!?!?!!?!?!!??!
since when was it legal to look someone up like that??
“why?” there’s a cockiness to his whole composure “are you going to kick me out again?”
well yes mister ofc
you’re invading my privacy
no matter how drop dead gorgeous you are this is like-- not acceptable
“yeah” you boldly answered, “i am. what of it?”
doyoung looks as if debating something before taking a step closer to you
“uhhh what are you doing”
and he’s literally thisclose to you that you feel his breath hovering over your lips
“im just wondering” he speaks in a lower tone, almost as if the both of you weren’t meant to say a word in this situation
you’re too mesmerised by his orbs to notice anything else but you gotta stay strong for pride’s sake and so you lean back and give him the dirtiest glare you could muster
it isn’t a frequent occasion that you could brace yourself under the presence of such a good looking person
...even though he seems like a shady guy
but still good looking
this doesn’t deter doyoung as he traps you onto the wall, hands on either side “if you know what i do, i don’t think that you would be so mean to me”
“well i don’t want to know more about you”
“oh really”
“very much so”
there’s a chuckle that decorates doyoung’s pretty features before his right hand lightly holds onto your chin and he sweeps down to press a kiss on your lips
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briteboy · 7 years
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yelling @ santi, i’m evil again (what else is new), SOME REALLY REALLY OLD ASKS, one GoT spoiler at the very bottom (beware)
*angrily slaps santi* GET YOUR SELF TOGETHER YAH POOP HEAD
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Lou and Fiona deserve happiness pls let it happen ty
they do ;-; it will happen, don’t worry, no one suffers forever <3 i’ve actually been planning out lou’s story and i’m excited to actualize it hehe
I just read all of Santis story. Dear god, it is amazing. I cannot begin to describe how much I love it. I have been really sick lately and have such a hard time concentrating on anything for more than one second but I have not been able to look away from this story, not even when I re-read it for the third time. You are an amazing writer and I have fallen in love with every charachter you have introduced. I teared up so many times and my heart began beating fast, it was really an experience.
OH MY GOD ;___________; YOU READ IT THREE TIMES WHAATDOSOIGODFSKL holy shit thank you so much, i don’t even know what to say right now lmao ;-; i’m just kinda in awe that i was able to grab your attention like that and that you enjoyed it so much and just askjdjfsd THANK YOU i can’t say anything else but just thank you, people like you make this all worth it <3 
A case of the novembers is the kinda story you read and you just know its going to stick with you for awhile. Like ones day, you'll be long gone in the future, doing something totally different, older wiser, all that bullshit, and you'll just randomly remember what a bittersweet story it was.
OMFG ;___; holy heck asjdjnfkdkjs this really got me right in the heart lmao. that’s the kind of story it’s always been for me and seeing other people interpret it that way as well is just mind boggling, thank you <3 
You are evil. My poor heart hurts. ;______________;
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you've ruined my life
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Life hack: listen to the entire Hamilton soundtrack whilst working out at the gym. By the end of it, you'll have lost half your body weight due to sweating and crying at the same time (pls help this was such a bad decision)
OMG that’s me with grimes’ art angels lmao i go hord to kill v maim and venus fly
hamilton fans also go hord i respect it. learn more about history get swole killing two birds with one stone
Okay this is so fucking random but a while ago you did a post where you talked about perfect bby gianni saying that he spent a lot of time in introspection and like Thank you 'cause now I have a word to put on this thing I do when I try to figure why I feel certain things or what my relationship with people/random shit is and why and yeah I kind of understand myself a little better now so thx a lot!!! 😘😘😘 Also, you're great.
i think i was actually talking about santi (’cause that’s where we’re at right now, in that period of introspection for him heheh) but YES omg that makes me so happy ;-; it’s a good word lmao and i do the same thing, in fact i’m always trying to figure out my relationships with everything in order to understand myself more. that’s kinda why i’m so into astrology haha. i’m glad you finally got to pin down that feeling for yourself, it’s the best when that happens <3 YOU’RE GREAT TOO 💫
NOOOOOOOO MY FAVS THIS CAN'T... LOU.... SANTI PLS... THIS IS A RIOT 😭😭
let’s start protesting santi in the streets
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Hi!! Umm I'm guessing you do but just in case, did you know there was a tear accessory? I think it's an eyeliner (cause you mentioned having to draw them yourself)
yeah i do! i mentioned the ones by s-club, i’ve used those a couple times. but i like drawing them myself because i feel like it’s weird to have the same single teardrop every time one of my characters cries (and we all know they’ve been crying a lot lately lmfao) if they didn’t cry often i probably wouldn’t feel compelled to draw the tears. but i don’t mind drawing them honestly, it’s kinda fun lmao. thanks for your consideration <3 
so im sitting here thinkin....... what if santi goes on this trip and coms back and lou is in a relationship!?!?!
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👏santi👏get👏it👏together👏
HE’S TRYIN
i want to die
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AAAH SOLE DEVELOPMENT BETWEEN CUTE DEVIL CHILD AND I ALMOST DIED TWICE TATOO MAN YES
I HAD TO READ THIS LIKE THREE TIMES TO UNDERSTAND IT LMFAOSDOJDKF BUT YES their relationship kills me the most ;__;
wait santi tried to kys :'(
WHERE U BEEN he did  :{
what font do u use in your histories?
arial!
hi u have a really pretty blog and I hope you have a good day
THIS IS SO SWEET I DON’T DESERVE IT ;-; I HOPE YOU HAVE A GOOD DAY TOO HONEYBEE 🌻
nyooooooom
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I WENT M.I.A FOR A LITTLE AND I COME BACK TO READ UP ON THE STORY AND HOW DARE YOU ASHDDJFKL
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@teishajenaie on instagram looks like Rooney to me, idk if you'd agree but ??
i see it!! definitely in the eyes and nose. also sorry i answered this literally like 3 months later lmao
gooey by glass animals gives me santi vibes :) ive been listening to it on repeat (bc im tht bitch) and it was making me think of you and his story! c: i hope you dont mind me over here lmao anyway, im excited to see where it goes and real excited for a back story for lou!! <3 lots of love
omg haha that’s actually funny because i used it in that one scene of him tripping, although it’s like completely a gianni song to me (at least personality-wise, it’s even on his playlist on my character page) and noooo i don’t mind, i love that song and i love when people recommend me songs!! i have a whole bunch of recommendations in my inbox that i need to acknowledge omg. anyway I’M EXCITED THAT YOU’RE EXCITED, especially for lou’s story, it’s coming up reeeeeal soon <333
i feel so late to the party but i Just started reading your story like five minutes ago and im absolutely entranced by it already and i cant wait to catch up and finally understand what to heck is going on
this was sent literally forever ago when santi and molly were out there being wild in the desert lmao so i hope you caught up and everything. “entranced” omg that’s such a wonderful word i’m honored
i didnt think i could love you more but the fact that you watch arrested development makes me so happy. i cry. my boyfriend has a mr manager, bluths frozen bananas shirt thats literally my favorite thing ever.
OMGGG YES i watched it once forever ago and i need to re-watch it asap lmao. I’M PRETTY SURE I BOUGHT THAT SAME EXACT SHIRT FOR MY BROTHER FOR CHRISTMAS ONE YEAR
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Just a biiig prank. Huge
this one is from so long ago i don’t remember the context but i laughed at loud when i read it. huge
i was playing with uncharted for the first time today and they said Navarro in it and i was like THATS MY BOI SANTIII
santi infiltrating everyone’s lives my bf played uncharted tho!! it looked cool. like indiana jones. i liked the marketplace part. a monkey stole his apple
Hi sunny! I really am in love with your story (even if it's tearing me apart at the moment) and just wanted to say you're cool Stay strong ma dude
HI THANK YOU <333 you’re also cool my dude and i’m sorry for tearing you apart (if it makes you feel any better this story tears me apart on a daily basis)
what packs and expansions do u have for ur game?
ummmmmm all of them except vintage glamour and fitness stuff. i wish i didn’t buy some of the stuff packs lmao but what can ya do i actually didn’t even get vampires or bowling or parenthood until like a month ago lmao i’m late to the party
Oh shit she's been dead hasn't she. Like this is all a drug or alcohol infused bender of mollys memory, she's probably never left. They're probably still at the hospital. I hope I fucking wrong but shit I also hope not. Poor santi
we’re so far past this but i just wanted to publish this anyway lmao it was a good theory! and this person was so sure of it it kinda made me wish it was true lol. sorry if that disappointed you but i’ll always remember this one in my sad sad heart 💔
how long did it take for you to make friends here? I started a simblr because I really like storytelling with my sims & I thought it'd be fun to meet people who enjoy that, too, especially since I don't have many friends irl...but I've been here for quite a few months now and it seems like no one even cares that I'm here....everyone I try to interact with pretty much ignores me after a message or two....I'm just feeling really discouraged about my presence here :/
I’M REALLY SORRY I DIDN’T ANSWER THIS SOONER ASKJDKJFSDKA (i’m sure it didn’t help the fact that you feel ignored, i really really hope you see this) but okay uhhhhhhh i only had acquaintances from 2015 up until like this year? then i started really becoming close with people. so it took a while lol, but i think everyone starts off slow because it’s mostly about the actual game we’re playing at first and then making friends just happens through that. don’t get discouraged, like i said it took a while for me. you really just need to reach out to the people you’d like to become friends with, reply to their posts, give your genuine thoughts, say something that’ll make their day...people notice that no matter what they have going on, i promise. i hope you’re still here and hanging in there. don’t get caught up in who’s talking to you or not talking to you, just do your thing, enjoy what you do, and people will notice you. <3
3. Hi so I just wanted to say that I love your story, I'm here for every update. I'm an s3 player I play s4 every once in awhile but s3 has my soul. I love Santi and I know he will be happy in the end, whether it's with Lou or not(hopefully it is tho) I only want him to be happy. I go through so many emotions in one post, like this is a tv drama and I can’t wait for the next episode. This is the end of my cut and paste. Have a nice day.❤️
HI HELLO <3 this is so sweet and i can’t believe you actually care about my story lmao thank you i’m glad you have faith in his happy ending, i don’t want anyone to think i genuinely like making my characters suffer lmao. i only do it to make the happy ending more satisfying. asjdfjksd comparing my stuff to film or tv always makes me so giddy so THANK YOU ily <333
"Suicide before you see this tear fall down my eyes" (Beyonce) reminds me of Molly's situation soooo muchhhh aaaahhhhh
OMG YES what a good connection. good song good connection yaeeahhh better call molly with the good hair
Ummmm... hello! I just read through your whole story with Santi and I'm like... holy fuck. Not only is your story wonderful, your editing is so good. I'm surprised I didn't shove my eyes up against my computer screen. Please continue making wonderful things and being great. Signing off 12:31 in the morning, I hope you have as much fun as you want to
“as much fun as you want to” omfgasdkngjd why did that make me laugh so much. don’t have too much fun, have the responsible amount of fun anyway HELLO thank you soooooO much ;-; pls don’t shove ur eyes up against the screen i’m almost positive that’s not good for them. but i appreciate this so much thank YOU for being great <3 signing off at 2:18 in the morning after ignoring this message for months now (i’m sorryyyyyyy) but um ily
HELLO??? I JUST READ A SERIOUS CASE OF NOVEMBER FOR THE FIRST TIME AND I'M LIKE CRYING???? y u do dis to me I hate you and love you at the same time
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(I need to rant I'm sorry) My uncle is really positive towards the army and war and stuff like that and all day he's been going on about how it should be mandatory to serve in the military, especially for "little brat girls" like me? And it's stressing me out so much I want to cry :( The army and war is something that genuinely scares me and I don't want anything to do with it, but he's just going on and on! What should I do?
this is literally sooooooooo late and i feel so bad i’m sorry, i hope this still helps you out and i hope you see it tho okay. i’m pretty sure this was even before the trans military ban like whew idek what your uncle must think about that. tbh just ignore him, like i know it’s hurtful but like...what is his point in telling you this? i would’ve literally been like (sarcastically) “ok then sign me up” but i’m also a lil shit so that’s probably not the best thing to say. but really like the only thing he’s trying to do is feel powerful by means of expressing his militaristic (no pun intended) opinions to someone far younger than him. it’s so that he feels bigger and better than you (especially by calling you a brat). he’s a sad man and anyone who relies on the military, of all things, to shape a person probably doesn’t have a strong sense of self anyway. i love you okay, just ignore him, don’t let him stress you out <3
I'm a little high and it's late but I have a lot of courage now so I've been following you for a while and I just want to tell you how much I love your story! I have come across other places on tumblr who do this but none have captured me as this one did! You are amazing and I am in love with this story! Thanks fo being you! :)
ONMG YOU HAD TO BE HIGH TO SEND THIS LMAO that was me this weekend anyway thank you so much, it floors me every time anyone says these kinds of things to me and it never gets old ;-; you are so amazing ok <333
you can't possibly be offended by a homophobic joke in game of thrones, it's set in medieval times. they had several lgbt characters in it, it's not the show that's homophobic, it's the characters, which is accurate for that time period.
o i can and i will lmao i mean i get where you’re coming from but with that logic you could say it’s only accurate to put homophobic jokes in today’s media just because people are still homophobic in the time live in. i know it’s the characters, but you do understand that someone writes those characters, right? it’s bad writing. it’s lazy and pandering and because of that it’s offensive. idk if you know the exact dialogue i was referring to but it was so completely unnecessary lmfao. they could’ve made a million other jokes. regardless of how it offended me it was just BAD lmao
SPOILER BELOW OK DON’T SAY I DIDN’T WARN YA
@ I wanna watch GoT anon: don't. It's just so fucking bad. The definition of overhyped tbh (and btw, sunny, PLS HELP HE SCREWED HIS FUCKING AUNT WTH)
LMAO SOMEONE ACTUALLY AGREES WITH ME? wow bless u. it is definitely overhyped, like it was good at first but it’s been riding that hype through these past couple of seasons to disguise the bad writing. i understand being entertained by it, but i’m always surprised when people think it’s actually well written at this point...it’s so cringey and now thanks to the season finale this fanbase will be justifying incest. great!
OK MOVE ALONG NOW
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tbhstudying · 7 years
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every bujo in this community looks exactly alike why are you so pissed about someone being inspired by you?? i'm right you are a bitch
hello there, anon (i'm assuming you're the same anon as before?)anyhow, i'll be compiling all studyflorals drama-related asks into one post to prevent any dashboards from being inundated with posts!
now, let's get back to my main point:
like i've said many many times before, i have absolutely no problem with inspiration. i don't mind if you copy my spreads or my handwriting or whatever else. 
the issue that i had with the entire thing was this part in that first post:“if you were to look through my april and may spreads, they’re mainly copies of other people’s spreads (which is why i didn’t post most of them). most of the ones i did choose to post were completely original.”however, in her recent posts on her instagram, her spreads, headers, layouts, etc were far too similar to my own to be called "completely original." credit was given only once for one post. in response, studyflorals only said that she was "making an effort to be more original" without addressing or acknowledging the claim of originality. i did ask her about it privately, but she hasn’t gotten back to me about it yet.
inspiration is a lovely thing, and it can spur you to come up with something beautiful that's your own. you don't have to credit me with every spread you make, especially if you pulled inspiration from a multitude of sources to make something entirely new. however, when a spread is heavily inspired and clearly based off of my work, i would appreciate the credit.
furthermore, i disagree when you say that "every bujo in this community looks exactly alike." for example, @studyrose and @studyquill and @productiveflower all have distinctive styles in their journals, and they don't look exactly alike. (my apologies for tagging you in this Hot Mess, friends ;;) if you placed their spreads side by side, it would be clear to see which one belonged to which person.the wonderful people in this community have turned bullet journaling into an art form, and it's nice to have your ideas and your effort acknowledged.
an anon said:With that logic, you should probably credit shop immunity for your avatar/icon...
my apologies, a friend sent it to me. i'll add the credit in my bio right away. thank you for telling me the source!
an anon said:hello seo!! im a studygram who personally knows @ studyflorals and since i was really inspired to start a studygram because of you, im afraid people might start calling me out on copyrighting too since i really was inspired by your handwriting and calligraphy aiYa what should i do?
another anon said: idk this whole situation is why i don't start a studyblr in the first place even tho i wanted to. my handwriting is eerily similar to yours even though i have it for the majority of my life. i'm worried that there would be a witch-hunt b/c i copied ur handwriting or sth..
like i've said, i have no issue with you being inspired by my work or having similar handwriting or whatnot. go right ahead if you want! my problem is with the claim of originality part when it's clear to see that it's not.
an anon said:i think u should give studyflorals the benefit of the doubt. she could be getting her quotes from anywhere tbh. and she said that her lettering looks like urs because she learned it from you.
i’m fine with it, but i just wanted an explanation on the claim part. i never did receive a reply back about that.
an anon said:your spreads are always so original and distinctive which is one of the reasons why i love your blog so much. don't let this get you down!
another anon said:i looked thru studyflorals n i think it's obvious who copied. just keep on doing what you're doing babe 💖
thank you so much for the support!! i really appreciate it :”)
an anon asked:wait the other studyfloral blog didnt even copy u, her posts are totally different ??
oh, the username is "studyflorals," not "studyfloral"
@sia-studies said:Just wanna send some positivity your way because i know exactly how it feels like to have someone steal your idea. I studied photography for 2 years and i had a really original idea and i showed to some people- a week later one of people i showed it to did the EXACT same thing :( and its not like she couldnt do it, it just it felt like she stole a part of my originality :( i guess it hurts. But what I produced was of better quality- what you've made is of better quality trust me. You're original
thank you so much! i hope that the entire photography thing went alright though!! it’s such a shame when that happens ;;
an anon asked:Are you friends with Arohee?
do you mean studyflorals? i've never really talked to her, so i wouldn't say so.
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What A Pair We Make (Reid Garwin)
Anonymous said:
(1) First of all, can I just say that i rlly love ur blog. 💖 Second, please please please, write one about reid? like the oc is the fem version of him but a little bit like blair waldorf? thank you in advance and please keep writing 💖 ur imagines are golden 😊😊😊 
(2)  HIIII! aww may gawd, u replied 💖 (with a cas gif. I love u too, fam) sorry if it was vague, maybe the story could be they’re in this love/hate relationship but some hoe is trying to flirt with reid and oc gets real jelly? and then blurts out that she loves him??? please??? :3 thank u sm for this. cuz im legit having reid feels & idk how to handle this. 💖💖💖i
(OC’s name: Peyton Morris)
Word Count: 1,289
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It was another gloomy day in Ipswich, Massachusetts and just another day at Spencer Academy for one Peyton Morris. She exited her family car rather dispassionately, while genuinely thanking her driver. This has been her daily routine for the past year after her family’s move from Manhattan, New York.
She never got around to asking her parents why they moved but there was a part of her that like the simplicity of Ipswich. Spencer Academy was a different subject, entirely. It almost disappointed her when she discovered it mirrored her old school. Well, the zip codes may be different, but douche-bags are the same wherever you go. Meeting Kira Snider and, subsequently, Aaron Abbott didn’t turn out to be an overall good first impression.
She’d been waiting for class to start when a shadow fell over her desk. She knew then that she definitely wasn’t going to like the person responsible.
“Hi, I’m Kira Snider. You must be new,” a barely contained sneer marred an otherwise average female face.
“Peyton,” a tight smile formed on her own face, unwilling to back down from a would-be instigator.
All eyes were on them. Peyton wasn’t the first to go through this and she doubted she’d be the last. Private school politics were becoming such a pain.
“Ipswich is a long way from Manhattan. What is it that your parents do, by the way?” The mock-interest was clear; so was her intention.
Peyton smiled as she began, “Listen, Snider, um, there are some things,” she nonchalantly regarded Kira, “we need to clear up.” She paused to give some semblance of a chance for the other girl to get a word in. Peyton stood and faced the seemingly self-proclaimed Queen B, “I don’t care if you run this school or think that you do. I don’t care who you are, who your parents are, and I certainly don’t care about what anyone in this school may think of me. What my parents do is our family’s business, no one else’s, least of all, yours.” Kira’s reddened face amused her immensely. A slight smug grin appeared on Peyton’s face. “Furthermore, you’re right, Ipswich is a long way from Manhattan and I hate to break it to you, because I’m pretty sure you have low self-esteem already, that’s like comparing Chihuahuas to grey wolves. And that means whatever you dish out,” Peyton tsked, “I can dish out way worse,” she finished in a stage whisper.
There were hushed snickers that descended upon the classroom.
A boy appeared behind her, sneering, “We could make your life hell.”
“I vacation there. It’s actually quite nice in the summer,” Peyton countered easily.
The teacher chose to walk in then. Her practiced, cold stare visibly unsettled the pair and she watched them walk back to their seats. The rest of her classes were uneventful. Then, she met him. More like heard him.
“I don’t think I’ve ever seen anyone execute a takedown as good as the one you pulled on Kira,“ the male voice sounded as giddy as his owner looked. He stuck out his hand, “Reid Garwin.”
One look at him and she knew he was trouble. And that devil-may-care grin didn’t win him any brownie points.
“Peyton Morris,“ she informed as she walked passed him
Reid Garwin was attractive with his blonde hair and blue eyes. She didn’t exactly hate him but they didn’t exactly have a friendship. Reid made Peyton wary. There were so many mixed signals they were sending each other. She’d think there’d be a spark but the next minute, it’s gone, nowhere to be found. And Reid was a player, a flirt, but Peyton wasn’t a saint either. Though she’d never slept with any of her male peers, she was positive Reid had atleast sampled a few their female peers.
In the weeks that followed, there were whispers about the pair. The rumor mill was producing so much salacious gossip, even Provost Higgins had to step in. The provost issued a kind of gag order, one that would be enforced by school officials, and teachers, coaches, etc. The rumors stopped but the otherwise-stable friendship continued.
A year later, this is where they are. She sighs thinking of her attempts at relationships while at the Academy. All very promising young men but she could never get the one she actually wanted out of her mind. It earned her the female equivalent of Reid’s reputation, except hers didn't afford her bragging rights. An arm slung over her shoulders broke her chain of thought. She didn’t have to see who it was but she turned to look anyway.
“I thought I was having a shitty morning but the I saw you," he winked.
She smiled ruefully, “Funny mine continues to be a downhill slide." She shrugged off his arm.
There were people looking, freshmen girls by the look of them. It always made her jealous but he wasn't hers so there was nothing she could do really.
“Don’t you have fresh meat to spoil or something?" She tried to make it sound flippant but lately she’d lost her touch. And it seemed the bastard had almost caught on.
“Nah, 'm not really interested in training when I know someone already knows the tricks,"he barked a laugh, “Hey, Peyton, what's -?"
She power walked to her first class, intent on ignoring Reid for as long as possible. Alas, the universe had it out for her; there was some conspiracy for sure. That's what her mind immediately went to when Peyton Morris saw one of the new class sidling up to the recently shunned blonde-haired, blue-eyed wonder. The freshman wasn’t even trying to hide it; she wanted people to know.
Fuck. Me. Sideways.
She walked up to them just as the freshman laughed at something that was most likely not funny, if the faces of the rest of the group were anything to go buy.
“Hey guys, " Peyton quickly acknowledged the guys before turning to Reid, “Reid, can we talk for a second?"
“Who are you, his girlfriend?” she asked, as if Peyton very existence was a personal affront.
Peyton took a second to collect herself and adopted her best patronizing demeanor. She looked right into the freshman’s eyes, “I’m the one who can and will make you immediately irrelevant.”
She doesn’t have time to hear the younger girl’s response. She’s being carried through campus over Reid’s shoulder. At least he’s got the decency to hold her skirt down. It’s some time until the blonde finds a private enough place, somewhere behind a school building.
“What the hell was that? Back there?” The question came from the deepest part of him, Peyton could tell.
She sighed, “What do you think it was, Reid? You’re smart. It’s part of the reason I-” She’d almost said it, almost let it out into the damn universe.
An incredulous look descended upon his face, “You what? You always act like I’m your worst option. There’s no way in hell. No. Way. You can’t be jealous because you don’t-!”
“You don’t get to tell me that shit! We’re both idiots because we know I’m jealous because I love you, you massive idiot!” She hadn’t intended on getting so impassioned by her declaration; she got louder than anyone had ever heard her and she was out of breath.
For once, Reid was speechless He’d never heard you cuss before either. Peyton realized then what she’d done and only felt mortification. Well, she did until she heard him laugh.
Her head between his hands, he put his forehead against hers. “We’re probably the biggest idiots Spencer Academy has ever seen,” blue eyes sparkled with mischief, “but we'll be each other’s idiots.”
Peyton spoke then, his lips barely a centimeter from hers, “What a fucking pair we make.”
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chickenfetus · 6 years
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ALL MY EGG (and for the four names: jae, killer kang, minhyuk (whichever one), and santa
deadass i did the 100 questions ask meme for this ask and almost posted it rip
🐰 what is one secret that you’ve never told anyone?
theres literally nothing i dont even know what to say ???? 
💗 if you could hug anyone, who would it be?
not 2 be delusional but i would give up my world to hug changkyun
🐹 what are some of your favourite Pokémon and why?
glaceon is UP THERE idk why honestly but the sinnoh games were my first and i just??? i was really into ice and snow and shit u know so glaceon... thakn u
another pkmn ill always have is lucario ????? its just so cool?????
🌠 if you were in charge of the world, what would the world look like?
hopefully forgiveness and like???? acknowledging mistakes and learning from those u know jst positive stuff and like?? water. god i love water
👀 what was the most recent vivid dream that you had?
hm okay i think this one was from last night or the night b4??? and like???? idk???? i dont even know how 2 start tbh?
so im like hanging over at this two kid’s im a kid 2 i think place and idk we just talk and shit??? idk whomst the boys were tho
and then we get to a scene where its like??? at a train station???? and i go to the washroom to shit or smth idk thankfully i didnt shit myself irl
then i have to get onto the train which isnt even a train its like a carousel with seats??? and its like on a train track boys this is 2 much and i forgot to get ready my train card thing so the guy (who i was p sure was evil) waited for me to remove it so i got onto the transportation device lmao
and then once im seated i remember i forgot my jacket so i make like hand movements 2 the creep and hes runnig 2 me with my jakcet but the ride’s way too fast so i yell and say ill come back for it even tho im p sure i wasnt going 2
after that i wke up wild
☀️ what do you like the most about your best friend?
i dont have a best friend and all of my friends have their own unique qualities if i went into a rant abt them rn this will b so long
😘 talk about your crush or partner
[minhyuk voice] theres none
💁 if someone was rude to you, would you be rude back?
ya bc im petty but it really depends on the person
🌟 what do you like about yourself? (must choose at least 3 things!)
my personality (the good parts)
my values
my taste in friends (my Big Friends are either geminis or scorpios good)
🐾 what are you scared of most? how will you overcome it?
the dark and bitch isnt gonna turn off her night light any time soon
🎁 what never fails to make you happy?
seeing my favourite happy, listening to the music i like 
💙 what annoys you about some people?
i jjust went into a full out rant abt this on the other reply so ill be quiet now
😤 do you get angry easily?
yeahhhhh 
🐇 what do you always daydream about?
my faves tbh
🌻 if you could change 3 things about the world what would you change?
bad people , gone.
everybody only sends love and happy things on anon
i just want everyone 2 b nice & friendly wars of any sort dont exist and no one wants anybody dead
🍓 send me 4 names: kiss, befriend, kill or marry?
if u sent jae’s name earlier id have trouble so im glad
kiss: tihis is so fucking embarrassing wtf minhyku (mx) but only on the cheek basically everywhere except the lips or anyplace weird
befriend: brian :-0
kill: jae goodbye loser
marry: sanha we can yell every time we gotta turn the lights off
✈️ what is your dream city and why?
tokyo bc its NICE
☕️ talk about your ideal day
cant read
🌸 are you an introvert, ambivert or extrovert?
i suddenly thought of the word ambivore which made me think of the word vore i wanna delete im a both? mayb idk
💧 when was the last time you cried?
nov 3 bc my heart hurts whenever i see ppl being a bad friend
🎵 name 5 songs you love at the moment
oh worm
all alone - day6
with you - astro
dramarama - mx (even though it isnt out yet lmao)
run - bts (the superior bts song)
hellevator - / (i was rly gonna make this mixed languages but rip)
⚡️ if you had any superpower, what would it be and why?
to fly bc im basic
💛 if you could talk to your younger self, what would you say?
dont do that
💚 who are you jealous of and why?
nobody in general????????? 
💎 which one would you rather have more of: intelligence, beauty, kindness, wealth or bravery? why?
intelligence i have 2 live somehow what if my money gets stolen
🙊 what are you ashamed of?
my humor
🌺 which languages do you know? which do you want to learn?
i (barely) know chinese despite having 2 take it all my life legends only
i know english but im bad at that 2 and its my first language once again legends only
i wanna learn japanese and korean 
🍀 if you could be any fictional character’s best friend/lover, which fictional character would you be?
the cow from voltron 
☁️ talk about your dream universe.
weve already discussed this
💜 which acts of kindness are you going to do today?
oh w-0rm ok so im a regular anon on this persons blog and i wanted to send an ask but never got arnd doing it so im gonna send her one. soon/
🐬 if you could transform into any animal/magical creature, what would you be and why?
let me live my life as a furry and cat
🍄 talk about someone/something you really dislike
are u ready 4 me to b the meanest person yet bc i sure am lets fucking go
so theres this girl. and i know her (unfortunately) and ive known her since like 4 years ago and back then she was already pretty shit tbh
she cried bc she had to sit in between the “weird” and “dirty” girls in our class and she headass cried in front of them and everyone just bc she didnt like the arrangement?? shes called the “dirty” girl disgusting before and has made fun of her in front of everybody its just bad :-/
now. fast forward 3 years and in addition to still being disrespectful and rude, she now vocalizes her weird fantasies for her “oppas”??? some examples: 
“when i go watch __ perform im gonna climb onto stage and then my mother and my future husband will fight for me” and she calls those kpop idols weird shit and basically sexualizes them/???? she says the weirdest fucking shit on her ig story and tags them??????? 
another thing. she went to korea nd took a picture of a complete stranger and posted it on her public ig and called him her “oppa” and said that they had a “fun day together” despite the guy not knowing her at all???? she posted the pic of him??? i still dont get it tbh 
she wasnt even being ironic at all??? she calls herself & classmates “autistic” whenever she/others do smth dumb or mess up and its just sososososo fucking wrong
being one of the people to see how shes basically grown from bad to worse is something i dont fucking enjoy and i jsut want to leave my class already lmao 
ok but there are times where i do appreciate her because sometimes the class will be rly quiet and the teacher is basically talking 2 themselves but she’ll always respond w/o fail so thats great but its only bc she talks so damn much 
i just got a flashback to when she “jokingly” said she wanted to be a trainee for the rest of her life how do i just. god
😣 talk about some things that have been making you depressed/angry/anxious lately
we’ve once again already discussed this
🍪 what did you want to be as a kid, and what do you want to be now?
i wanted to be various things honestly?? ranging from an astronaut to a vet to an editor to an animator to other stuff i get influenced pretty easily so if i watch smth and i think its cool ill want 2 be that i guess?? ive been trying 2 get rid of that habit so now i have no clue what i wanna be
🍰 what are some of your favourite sugary foods?
sweets and chocolate cake
🍑 what are you obsessed with?
drinking water and staying hydrated
making my friends laugh is great 2
💘 what happens to you when you’re stressed?
acne LMAO 
😪 what are you sick of?
the usual
🙀 are you an adrenaline seeker?
i love scouting on sif and bandori so yeah 
💥 what are some unpopular opinions that you have?
lets not 
☔️ would you consider yourself a good person?
to a certain extent
😊 what do you like to do as hobbies?
use my phone???? send nice anons and comment on art/fics 
🎤 what’s the last song you hummed or sang by yourself?
none
🐝 what’s your worst trait? how are you planning to improve it?
my tolerance for ppl’s shit is so low
🎨 what do you always doodle when you’re bored?
my ocs
🐻 what’s stopping you from chasing your dreams?
i dont have a dream hence myself
🌷 what’s your mbti personality and why do you think it suits you?
infpt i dont rmb shit but yeah
🐶 send me 3 fictional people and I’ll choose my favourite!
falen i dont rmb what u sent
👑 who are your favourite celebrities and why?
i dont follow any :-o zendaya has had my heart ever since shake it off tho
🐴 opinion on day6?
ur rly gonna do this 2m e?
all alone just started playng this is terrible lets get it
so day6. a band i only found out about in late june (thank u boxy) and before this i only ever listened to bts and mx bc my friends stan them so i thought i was gonna expect boys dancing, the usual. 
i clicked i smile and i lost my fucking shit as soon as i saw the instruments because prior to day6 i was a big 5sos fan so this was rly resonating to me tbh and i was just !!! so fukcng excited??? i never intended to even get into day6 honestly??? but after witnessing how good they are and watching about all of the available mvs at that point i was completely in awe so i caved a created a stan twitter for them.
now, this isnt even the most of it. after becoming a fan i realized how much more these 5 boys are. they compose (if im not wrong) and brian writes lyrics for the songs each month because of their everyday6 project and again, im wow-ed because??? the amount of dedication???? they went from releasing 2 title tracks in 2 years to releasing 12 title tracks and 12 bside tracks in a single year. they havent released the december song yet but haviing to work on 2 or more songs in 4 weeks is fucking amazing if you ask me. 
theyre really talented and theyre just so versatile (am i using that word correctly) and each month their songs sound different. this project has given them the opportunity to try new things and you can hear the steady improvement in each of their vocals (dowoonie not so much since he barely gets lines, but we all know hes working hard) and if you listen to their debut song - kongchu and compare it to the version they released along with sunrise it just???? the drumming has even changed from the original version nd its so noticeable that whenever i hear kongchu from 2015 i know its the old ver
to add to those, they do vlives every week and although those vlives are always scheduled it still makes my day seeing them and watching them do the usual. 
one thing im upset about is that how they barely promote themselves, they rarely get on variety shows (the most is individual schedules) and we, as mydays never really get to know the boys so its harder to fall for them as a whole. i dont know if its jyp or day6′s decision but if this is how they want to be known for - their music only, then so be it. we still have jae’s presence on youtube, music access and asc. thats the most we can get and it makes it difficult for us to learn about the rest but thats okay.
another thing. their concerts are something i always look forward to (even though my interest has died down a bit;) their concerts are just so fun to listen to?? there’ll always be mydays who stream the concert so everyone else can listen to them play and they sound so good live it drives me crazy. mydays are always so hyped and whenever mydays sing along it just gives me goosebumps??? bc theyre so???? good????? 
tldr; day6 deserve more, following wise and promotions wise because they work so hard and once this project ends i hope they’ll manage to rest but still remain as a presence that will be known instead of returning to jyp’s dungeon.
🍋 do you consider yourself an emotional person?
there are days where i am more emotional than usual 
📚 share 3 books that you love and your favourite quote from them.
this is tiring
😔 what do you always do when you feel sad? does it help?
i sleep and boy it really helps
😌 what thoughts keep you going when you’re sad?
rest
🌍 which country do you live in?
singapore
🐧 describe yourself in 3 words
lame funny swag
🐵 which quotes changed you?
“rocky swag” - park minhyuk, 2017
💭 do you keep a diary?
nope
💫 who inspires you?
brian kang 
👻 do you believe in ghosts and why?
yes bc i love losing sleep
🎀 what’s your fashion sense like?
terrible
🎬 what are some of your favourite films?
i watched spiderman homecoming and i have no idea why i didnt see the plot twist coming but its GOOD watch it
🍦 what is one treasured childhood memory?
theres none lads
🐼 if you could meet anyone, who would it be and why?
all my internet buddies but sometimes i dont want to bc im kinda....gross
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tvnners-blog · 7 years
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GUESS WHO’S BACK WITH A BRAND NEW RAP 30 mins earlier than expected? that’s right, urs truly~ ok first thing’s first hello!!!! i’m caitlin and i’m v v excited to be here like hot dog u have no idea the thrill high i’m buzzing on, like 13rw???? i can't evEN talk abt it ok i'm going thru the season for the 3rd time and, i’m just a mess rn o k anyways onto the person ur actually here to read about aka the one and only tanner eugene prescott…. the third……
( trigger warnings: mentions of abortion, drugs, suicide )
so in regards to lena?? at first, he hardly knew she existed, other than whatever rando rumours were flying around (which he didn’t normally pay any mind to anyway bc he was too busy dealing with his own shit to care about what or who anyone else was supposedly doing). he never went out of his way to acknowledge her tbh unTIL he started seeting her at whichever parties she showed up to (bc i mean he was at aLL of them since parties were where he made most of his profit u know.....which i'll touch on more later here). tanner honestly didn't even know that this girl had a single party-hardy bone in her body so to see her livin it up with the best of them???? he loved it and so obvi he started talking to her, mainly 'are you going to so-and-so's tonight? his parents are out for the whole WEEKEND' and 'remember when so-and-so hooked up with so-and-so and then projectile vomited all over the kitchen floor? WILD'. the only time they ever really hung out or seemed to be pretty close pals was in the midst of a raging party. otherwise? tanner never really saw the point in hanging out sober because they seemed to live two completely opposite lives. now that she’s gone, he feels kind of connected to her in the sense that he thinks he understands? like he empathizes a little with the girl bc life’s rough, he knows it, and he’d be lying if he said HE had never had suicidal thoughts.
ANYWAYS ONTO THE BORING BACKSTORY STUFF: my boy here has had a pretty rough upbringing. he was born a bastard to a single mom working two to three jobs at a time, and with no knowledge of who his father was(is). of course he was an unwanted / unexpected / surprise baby or however u wanna call it but instead of getting an abortion, his mom decided to keep him for the child support tax from the good ol’ government. so yeah .... his mom was pretty neglectful and would leave him like cans of beans or leftover fishsticks or whatevER in the kitchen to keep him fed but he basically had to take care of himself for the better part of his childhood.
when he was old enough to start bringing in money himself to help out, however, his mom suddenly grew incredibly attached to him, dishing out the nurturing love only a mother can give that tanner had craved his whole life, as long as he kept bringing in money. so obviously he’d been completely oblivious to the fact that she’d been using him, blinded by love, and it was just a gargantuan toxic MESS that eventually ended up with him heartbroken once he finally saw the truth for himself.
so obviously, at some point during his freshman year of high school, tanner mixed in with the “bad crowd”, which is ultimately how he was introduced to the dark underworld of drugs. at first, he just experimented, giving into classic peer pressure, but then he got in on the trafficking part. it started off with him just making small deliveries on behalf of one of the dealers whenever they were “too busy” and went on about how much trust and respect they had for tanner to do these favours. then he eventually was offered a permanent role, and with the amount of cash he’d be pocketing, he didn’t have the heart to say no, especially with his struggling mother in the back of his mind. so yeAH tanner prescott was ur friendly neighbourhood dealer during those high school years (and even after....), there for all party needs or whatever other extra curricular activities those wild kids had planned.
as for personality, he basically acts like he doesn’t give a shit about anything other than having a good time and enjoying the moment. he doesn’t like talking serious issues (esp not lena) bc he just finds it depressing and a buzzkill like any other asshole waltzing around. but deep down, it’s bc partying and whatnot numbs all the bad feelings that otherwise eat away at him. so on the outside: loud, rowdy, ready to party at all times, speaks his mind 100% even when it makes.....no sense, cracks jokes at every opportunity, and laughs at everything he can get away with. on the inside: sad mad boy, doesn’t wanna think abt the future bc he doesn’t think he has one, and avoids deep authentic bonds with other ppl like the plague.
the end...?? i suck at writing the closing part of intros l m a o but again if anyone has any ideas/suggestions for connections, i’m 100% down and i'm finally gonna get to IMs as well as replying to ur starters, cuties B)
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My First
I failed my driving test. 
That was in the fall of 2017, I was a senior in high school. All of my friends were getting their licenses and cars while I was stuck being a passenger. The woman who failed me thought I wasn’t confident enough. Like damn, can’t even be nervous without being penalized these days huh? She failed me for the most ridiculous shit. But that has nothing to do with the story I plan on telling. 
A few weeks before my eighteenth birthday I tried again. This was something I needed to do before I turned 18. Giving up wasn’t an option. There was no way I wanted to retake my written if I didn’t pass before I was considered a legal adult. The guy who tested me this time? He was fine as hell and now that I think about it, I was supposed to text him when I turned eighteen. I lost his number, sadly. But that also has nothing to do with the story. I want to tell you the story about the first guy I-
-’ve always been cheap. I was ten when my aunt was going to get a new car. I convinced her to save her old car for me so that when I started driving I wouldn’t have to buy a car. By the end of the summer of 2017, my grandpa fixed up the old car and I was all good to go. Free to go wherever I wanted. I no longer had to wait around for people, waste money on lyfts or walk. So naturally, I took myself on adventures. 
One night, against my better judgement. I lied to my mom and said I was going to hang out with my friends. If I would have told her what I was really going to do, she would’ve gone into over protective mode and I didn’t want that. I just wanted some time to myself. I drove over the bridge and into Philly. Not for a concert or any other event. I just wanted some me time. I parked my car. Got oreo ice cream and sugar cookies from Insomnia Cookies and walked around the city. 
Not going to lie and say I knew exactly where I was at all times. I wasn’t even guaranteed that I was safe, I wasn’t focused on my surroundings. All I know is I was somewhere around Broad Street, because that’s where Insomnia Cookies was located. I came across this huge, gorgeous building, I’m not very good at names. Everything was lit up and there was art on the sides of some of the buildings surrounding it. There was even a fountain in front of it all. The scene just looked so beautiful. I walked across the street, hopped up on a ledge and just took it all in. It felt serene, even with so many people flooding the sidewalks. I sat and continued eating my snacks, I was enjoying clearing my head. Until someone interrupted me that is… 
“Hey.” I looked up to see a cute guy. There were a few girls not too far from me talking. It was the beginning of August, late at night but still pushing eighty degrees. Of course they were clad in clothes that left nothing to the imagination. I figured he was talking to them. Guys like the ones who look easy. He couldn’t have been talking to me. So I went back to dipping my cookie into my ice cream and admiring the scenery. I didn’t really acknowledge the fact that he moved a little closer to me. He said hey again and I finally looked up at him directly, before looking around. He laughed a little. “I don’t blame you for being that into ya snacks. I love their shit. But I’ve been trying to get your attention for a minute.” Yep, he’s definitely talking to me. I was confused as to why though. I get hit on by guys pretty often, I know I’m not ugly but with him talking to me, I felt extremely insecure. Suddenly I wished that I had dressed a little better. I looked like a child for fucks sakes. I was wearing a gold fish shirt, black tights, a hat that said “Hoodrats” and Chucks. I was even swinging my legs off the ledge, eating ice cream! 
He introduced himself as Dey. I wanted to know the name his mom gave him so I asked him for his full name. Ayinde. Pronounced Uh-zhen-day. Unique. It has African origins. He told me that my name was almost as pretty as I was. If I were white, I definitely would have blushed. I didn’t understand why he made me feel so shy. 
 I learned that he was mixed with Irish, Haitian and Cuban. Interesting mix, I know. Despite his slight baby face, he turned out to be 20. He was tall, about 6’1. He had taken his hat off to redo his ponytail, he tied his curly, brown hair back into a man bun. He was light skinned with a slight tan. Doe brown eyes paired with the cutest smile. He was dressed in all black, I would’ve been a little concerned if it weren’t for the logo on his hat. I could see a tattoo peeking out from under his short sleeved shirt. Just my type. 
I was tired of the small talk and beating around the bush. “Why’d you come over here to talk to me?” Instead of replying, the douche just smiled and then hopped up on the ledge next to me. It was weird. I was supposed to be having me time, if any other guy did this I would’ve been rude. I wouldn’t have given them the time of day. I wasn’t even afraid, Ayinde strangely made me feel safe. Something was telling me to give him a chance, instead of shutting him down. 
“Well, I was on break, I work across the street.” He points to a small cafe. “I saw you walk by and… I don’t know I thought you were beautiful. Now that I’ve gotten closer, it seems so effortless. No make up and you’re not even dressed up.”
Shit, I have no clue what to say to this. He’s been nice and respectful. “Thank you.” Well, that was lame but it was safe. We talked more before he had to go back to work. He was funny as hell, we both had the same rude, dark, sarcastic humor. He complimented me pretty often and he seemed kind of bummed that he had to leave once his break was over. 
“Why don’t you grow some balls and just ask me what you wanna ask me.” I thought to myself, I should be a fucking actress. I’m great at faking confidence. 
He laughed and just smiled at me for a second. “Well, I would like to get to know you more. Can I get your number?” 
You know when you give someone your number, you almost expect them to wait days or weeks to text you. Surprisingly, Ayinde texted me that night. 
AYINDE: hey beautiful, u get home safely?
ME: Oh shit, I see u found ur balls! 
AYINDE: lol yea yea yea. I know I was acting like a pussy earlier but that’s not how I usually am
***
AYINDE: FT me? I haven’t seen u since we met punk
ME: No I look crazy rn 
AYINDE: Is tht even possible? I think you’re cute af
ME: aww thanks but everyone’s entitled to their own insecurities
AYINDE: Ig but that’s y u need me 
ME: wym?
AYINDE: to take away your insecurities
ME: Doubt that’s possible 
AYINDE: try me
***
ME: entertain meee! I’m bored, stuck at my great grandma’s house :(
AYINDE: I literally just woke up, still in bed
ME: Luckyyy, my head’s fucking killing me
AYINDE: wish I could help
ME: me too lol do u have superpowers? 
AYINDE: no, do u?
ME: Nah I’m not tht awesome 
AYINDE: I think ur pretty awesome
Ayinde and I got closer over the next month. We hadn’t actually seen each other after the first time we met. He worked crazy hours and still had school. I worked everyday and had school as well. Plus, I wasn’t completely comfortable meeting up with a guy I didn’t really know. He understood that. He always made sure I was comfortable before we did anything. He eventually convinced me to facetime him… a lot... and when we didn’t he acted like a big baby.
ME: u happy now?
AYINDE: lol no
ME: y not -_-
AYINDE: I got nothing pretty to look at now
ME: whose fault it tht?
AYINDE: idk. Do u kno?
ME: Lol yea ik
AYINDE: tell me 
ME: yours :P
AYINDE: well if u came over we wouldn’t have this problem
I was a very late bloomer. I knew freshmen girls who got pregnant, meanwhile I hadn’t had my first kiss until I was 16. I didn’t start dating until 17. I was a fresh 18 and I was still a virgin. I waited a while to tell him because I liked him and didn’t want to scare him off. But he surprised me, I learned that he wasn’t like other guys. Most guys only want you for one thing. And that’s to get them off. Not all are gonna be lovey dovey when you’re not putting out. 
ME: I hate being a girl. I think my uterus just exlpoded. Im dying
AYINDE: Aww u can’t die yet, I havent taken u out yet
ME: wut do u want from meee
AYINDE: I told u what I want 
ME: hmmmm
AYINDE: i didnt? 
ME: u could have an ulterior motive
AYINDE: lol what? Ayo y cant I just think ur gorgeous and want to get to kno u, find out who u r
***
He was very protective of me. Anytime I even looked a tiny bit sad or sounded off, he was ready to beat someone up for me. 
AYINDE: ur awake? 
ME: Yea just woke up on some bs 
AYINDE: u good?
ME: yea im ok lol
AYINDE: u sure? I’ll fuck someone up
ME: lol yea im good now
And as the oldest, always looking out for my little brothers and my friends. It felt good to have someone looking out for me for a change. 
***
ME: I move into college tmw nd I aint pack shit yet
AYINDE: ur bugging
ME: Pack 4 me?
AYINDE: lol ill pass
ME: my back hurts like all hell, some of this shit is heavy
AYINDE: what u carrying…?
ME: 4 one, I hav a lot of clothes, they add up nd I had to take em downstairs
AYINDE: lol whoakay wittle wone
ME: fuck u, this shit weighs more than me! I almost fell down the stairs!
AYINDE: thts cuz ur like 87 lbs
ME: Aye! Give me my props, im like 120
AYINDE: lol i see u killa
I fucking loved when he called me that, made me feel invincible. 
Despite how it seems this isn’t a love story. This isn’t a memoir about me finding my first love. Bleh. That’s so sappy. I want to tell you about the first time I stepped out of my comfort zone. You’ve experienced a snippet of our relationship. Ayinde and I were never together. We were just people who met at the wrong time. Had too much going on in our separate lives to focus on developing a relationship. But it didn’t stop us from pursuing the unique friendship we had. For years we maintained contact, I’d visit him pretty often but we always kept our distance when it came to personal things. We used each other as escapes from our realities. We were each other’s vacation after a long week. 
One night we were hanging out and things got more heated than they usually did. I wasn’t prepared to take the next step with anyone. No worries, I’m not about to make you uncomfortable and talk about how I lost my virginity because that isn’t the point. Before I say anything, I did have a great childhood. But some things did leave me scarred, I struggled with intimacy as a result. To make a long story short, it makes me self conscious, not something I’ll flaunt for the whole world to see. 
I’m the type of girl who will wait until the bathroom is empty to change my pad or start going to the bathroom. If it’s too busy, I’ll wait all day until I go home. In the locker room, I’d find the farthest corner or wait until all the girls leave to change my clothes. I’m not comfortable being alone around men. I used to clench my pocket knife in my hand when I walked home alone at night. The list goes on. 
The point of this memoir is to tell about the first time I felt completely comfortable in my own skin. Let alone, around a guy. 
They were everywhere. Trailing from my neck and back up against mine. His lips were distracting. I could barely focus. Let alone notice that the both of us were wearing less and less clothing by the minute. I stopped. 
I wouldn’t be able to handle him not liking what he saw. What if I did a bad job? What if he stopped talking to me?
“Do you want me to stop?” Ayinde pulled back from me looking concerned. He looks so cute right now. I kind of wanted to pick up where we left off. 
“Ye-No. It’s just, can you turn the lights completely down?” He liked his room dim, not too bright or dark. It was normally perfect but at that moment, they were making this situation turn into a nightmare.
“Um, why? What’s wrong?” He’s still hovering above me. I didn’t really want him to move. I bit my lip, contemplating. 
“Just don’t look at me any differently. Okay?” I pulled him down by the back of his neck and kissed him hard. Hoping that my issues with myself wouldn’t be a big deal, I’ve never gone this far with anyone. 
When the time came. I held my breath. Okay, I see my pants on the floor near the dresser. My shirt is near the door. I was locating my clothing so that I’d be able to leave quicker. I’m not really one to feel embarrassed but this was going to be borderline humiliating if I wasn’t enough for him. This reminded me of how I felt when I failed my driving test, but I wanted to do this with Ayinde. I didn’t want to quit just because I hadn’t grown the balls to show anyone else. I didn’t want to miss out because I was nervous as to what he might think. I had to at least give him a chance. 
What Ayinde did shocked me. Instead of being grossed out or losing his hard on. He didn’t ask any questions, he didn’t say anything. He kissed every part of my body and when he was done he leaned down to kiss my lips. I was worried, about him seeing all of me, for no reason. He wound up giving me the confidence I needed to be comfortable in my own skin. He told me what I needed to hear from a guy that I was into, not my parents: 
“You’re beautiful.”
And just like that... I didn’t have anymore insecurities. 
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