#but that should be sometime in the next week or so

[russo-woso]

Flare up || Leah Williamson

Based on this request here. Thank you for the idea.

A big thank you to @lvnleah for the help on this one :)

Over the past week, your wife had been showing signs of an endometriosis flare up.

Being with her for over seven years, you knew the signs sometimes before she even knew.

It was the small things, in training she wouldn’t run as fast as she normally would.

She was more tired than normal.

She would complain that her back was hurting.

So when you woke to see Leah’s face scrunched up in pain, you knew she was having a flare up.

The thought of her being in pain killed you and you immediately knew you were going to do anything to take the pain away from her.

You decided to leave Leah sleeping, before heading downstairs to get breakfast ready.

In between cooking pancakes, you rang Jonas to say that you and Leah wouldn’t be at training today, explaining that Leah had come down with something.

You also called Lia because she was going to pop round for a coffee later but you knew Leah wouldn’t want any guests round today so you said that you’d rearrange it.

Carrying on making breakfast, you decided to only made enough pancake for one person, thinking ahead in case Leah wasn’t awake yet.

As you walked back into your bedroom with the pancakes in hand, Leah was in a fetid position, her knees tucked into her stomach.

At that moment, you knew exactly what was wrong with Leah.

You set the plate on the bed side table, pulling out a few tablets and filling a glass full of water.

As much as you hated waking Leah up, you needed to get these tablets in her.

“Le, baby, wake up for me. Come, on baby, you need to wake up.” You whispered, Leah whining in pain. “We need to get tablets in you. It’ll make the pain go away.”

Leah reluctantly woke up, and you guided her into a sitting position.

“Baby, can you take these for me?” You asked and Leah nodded.

You handed her the pills, Leah quickly taking them and then grabbing her stomach in pain.

“Oh, baby. I’ll get the heat pad in a minute, could you try eat some breakfast?” You handed Leah the plate of pancakes, something that she could never say no to, but this time, she shook her head, her eyes closing in pain.

“Cuddles.” Leah managed to get out

“We can have cuddles in a minute, love. Let me get the heat pad first.”

Once setting up the heat pad for her and resting it on her lower abdomen, you climbed into bed next her and Leah immediately cuddled into you.

“It’s hurt so bad.” Leah mumbled into you chest.

“I know it does, baby. The tablets should kick in soon. I’m sorry you have to go through this.” You said in between pressing soft kisses to her head as you massaged her lower back.

“Can I have some pancake now?” Leah asked and you nodded your head, reaching over to grab the plate.

Leah sat up slowly, you helping her, as she rested the plate in her lap.

“Babe, we need to tell Jonas that we’re not—” Leah panicked

“I’ve already called him.” You told her, and you saw Leah’s face relax.

“What about Lia?” Leah asked

“I’ve called her too. I told her that we’d rearrange for another day.” You responded, tracing shapes on her back.

“What would I do without you?”

“You’ll never find out.”

#woso x reader #woso #woso community #woso imagine #womens football #woso fanfics #leah williamson #leah williamson x reader #leah williamson fanfic #leah williamson fluff

[housecow]

i have knee problems stemming from an injury when i was younger. if i step wrong and fall in a certain way, the pain is so bad i can’t walk. but sometimes i like to fantasize: what if something even worse happens and i can’t walk for weeks? what if i happen to be in regular close contact with my feeder?

it’d be hard being told i have rest and let myself heal. there are plans coming up that have to be cancelled, the few active hobbies i have left take a hit. but…it’s so easy to accept every snack brought to me. after all, i sought out a feeder—this lifestyle is the one i’ve eaten myself towards. and he knows i have an inclination towards eating too much. that first week goes easier than it should; weight starts to pile on. but i miss going out, even running errands sounds nice. in the few moments my hands are absent of food or a shake i am regularly in contact with my friends.

the next week i’m better but… i feel slow. my feeder has started to keep people away because i need to rest and he’s right, healing is taxing on the body. i start responding less to others, too. our funnel has gotten so much more use in the last few days. the sugar and constant snacks step up and i can tell there is an agenda behind it all but *god* it feels good to be doted on. he helps me through the necessary exercises but trips across the house are rare. i notice how difficult it is to lift myself up now—how sedentary have i been?

that question doesn’t cross my mind again, there are better things to focus on. my feeder knows how to use my adhd to his advantage—food, sex, TV, and games all provide the dopamine hit needed to keep me distracted. the 3rd week is similar enough to the 2nd: ritualistic feeding becomes the norm. we don’t need a valve to control the flow on the funnel anymore, he knows i can finish everything. my belly is swollen out into my lap all of the time now, if i hold my boobs aside i can see new stretch marks creeping across my expanding hips. i expect the snacks, “babe, can you grab me something from the fridge?” is a phrase heard several times in the day. and my feeder obliges.

the 4th week we have an appointment and im told i should walk and start being active again. the doctor looks nervous though and tells me i need to watch my weight, he says something like “its alarming how quickly this happened,” but i blocked it out because—i can’t even see how much i weigh? my belly blocks the view now. oh my god.

in the car afterwards my feeder expresses doubt at the situation: “you don’t look so steady on your feet, i think you should still take it easy.” his eyes meet mine and i don’t miss the brief glance away, desire obvious at the sight of my rounded figure that’s entirely his fault. i know what he wants and i can’t deny myself that want, either. and he knows better in these situations, i trust his judgement. maybe it is best to stay in. plans can be pushed further back… the walk back to the car was a little difficult, too.

the next weeks—or does it span months?—pass in a blur. staying in is all i want to do. although i’m supposedly healthy again, i rarely get up and walk around more than needed. “needed” means a slow, clumsy walk to the fridge and back to either the couch or the bed. when my feeder is not there to feed me himself he takes time to order food to the door. bending down to pick things up is a monumental effort for me—a heavy, wide belly pressing into my fattened thighs. my swollen tits obscure my vision but serve as an excellent table when i need.

my feeder comes home one day and im asleep, taking up more than my fair share of the couch. my breaths are not easy and its obvious how much i ate beforehand: mostly-empty 2 liters, takeout containers haphazardly stacked on top of one another as they were finished, countless snack packages balled up and stuck between the couch cushions because sometimes i like to squirrel stuff away. as if there was a chance of hiding these habits my feeder built.

but the best part of it all is the empty pitcher sat against the corner of the couch, because i couldn’t reach to the coffee table to properly set it down with so much fat making every movement difficult.

the remnants a weight gain shake. our usual ingredients of cake mix, melted ice cream, strawberries, chocolate syrup, nutella, crushed oreos. it was hastily made, however, and it’s obvious by the chocolatey powder on the sides of the container that it was about the calories this time, not the taste. he can see where some escaped the pitcher and poured down my overly plump, round face and past the lovingly cultivated double chin. it dripped onto my breasts, lovely puddles of calories he wish made it inside of me even if the sight is wonderful. after that thought, an idea comes up. how deep are the rolls he’s gifted me? a cow this size needs to be used.

#feedism. #feeder/feedee #feedee. #hucow. #writing #is this too much 🫣 #i wrote this late last night after overeating :3 #formatting may be edited later #it was written with big chunky paragraphs but i find that hard to read #it may read choppily bc of how i split it though :((

[nnight-dances]

EVERYTHING

PAIRING: yoon jeonghan x f!reader (ft. wonbin)

GENRE: angst, fluff toward the end

TROPES: established relationship, model!jeonghan, singer-songwriter!reader, jealousy, paparazzi interference and rumors, and so on.

NOTE: this was hard to write so bear with me and let me know if there's anything that absolutely sucks about this lol... i love jeonghan but he's so hard to write (maybe it's because i'm the most not normal about him)... anyway this plot is kinda inspired by a real life fight i had with a friend who i have ambiguous feelings so do with that what u will :) enjoy!!!!

"thanks, love," jeonghan mumbles into your cheek when you hand him the wallet he'd forgotten at home this morning. even in the dim moody lighting of the room, you can see he's genuinely happy to see you when he pecks your cheek. you smile and press your hand into his, "how bad was today?" 

he hums, "not too bad if i don't think about it too hard."

it's not out of the ordinary for a successful model like jeonghan to have the mind-numbing schedule he has but you can't help hurting for him anyway. "i'm sorry, babe," you squeeze his fingers and he nods in acknowledgement. he's too tired to say much most days so you've gotten accustomed to interpreting his silences. 

you were part of a band known for its jazzy music and you were its lead singer and song-writer, which meant it couldn't be helped that you had written more than a few love songs dedicated to yoon jeonghan, your lover of over two years now. in that time, you'd found a good beat with jeonghan, spending a good four months with both your heads' deep in work and only the nighttime spent in each other's arms. sometimes, jeonghan's international presence meant a few weeks of not even that. and as your band got bigger, you took on tours that only took you further from jeonghan. but after a rocky summer, came the breeze of fall. 

fall meant downtime for both your jobs, a time you could easily retreat and while the rest of the world turned vacation mode off, you would travel with jeonghan, whether it be across the world or just along his skin on a rainy weekend. it was easy with him, even when it wasn't. 

but recently, you'd found yourself wondering if it really was that easy still. tonight you're performing at this club, a local presence known for its hosting of musical influences, and jeonghan managed to escape his impossible day to watch you. you should feel loved, grateful for him, but when it's your turn to perform, you feel yourself drift away from him.

onstage, even as you introduce yourself and your band members, your eyes are on him. but he seems so far away. he watches you, not a smile on his face, just familiarity. as if he'd memorized all that you had to say, as if this was another box to tick on his long day. you clear your throat to steady your mind and open the first song, "this one's called heavy." it was an old song, perhaps one you'd only performed before you met jeonghan. which would explain how hopeless the melody was, how uncertain your voice got throughout, and scarily enough, how much you found yourself relating to it now, so many years later. 

after the song's over, you glance at jeonghan and he seems as stoic as ever, clapping in encouragement but without any mirth. you sigh, "woah, sorry to bring the mood down like that," you chuckle a little when the crowd laughs, "um, anyway, this next one's much happier, i promise. it's called loverboy… after my one and only, well, boy." you laugh again and spot jeonghan smile, too, all the way at the bar and your heart thaws a little, allowing you to get through the song without thinking again about how cold it felt in the room. 

you get through the next two songs without a hitch, perhaps because you let yourself go on autopilot mode and restrict yourself from even looking at jeonghan for your own sake, and come down with a heavy sigh. your bandmate, yves, touches you on the shoulder with a frown, "you good, y/n?" you nod, "yeah… i'm just tired. or something." she pats you on the head, "don't think too hard about things, dove. just let go. or something." you laugh at her witty piece of advice and thank her as you head for jeonghan, naturally. 

he wraps you in his arms when you find him, plenty kisses on your neck, "my girl did so well." 

you let out an uneasy groan, "i don't know, han, i feel like i was lame."

jeonghan pulls away with a frown, "no, you weren't. you were amazing. although that first song caught me off guard. it's been a while since you performed it."

"yeah… it was my decision but it felt right," you shrug. jeonghan's eyes take on a gravity you don't like when you say that so you avert your gaze, "but more importantly, when can we go home so i can get out of this dress and sleep?"

a year ago, jeonghan would've gone, "i'll help you take it off right now, love," but now he agrees solemnly, "i think we go as soon as everyone's focused on the next set." 

–

you know it's stupid, you do, to dwell over the details of your relationship this obsessively. but honestly, once you start there's just so much to pick at. to start, you felt more distant from jeonghan than ever, as if there was something unsaid in your way just keeping you from getting back close to him. and you hate it when things go unsaid. but you also knew jeonghan didn't care for spelling every little thing out, he could settle for a little discomfort till ignoring it was enough to make it go away. 

but that was just it, you couldn't take it anymore. you'd had a few fights with jeonghan in the past and they'd all come down to the fundamental differences in your natures. you liked for everything to be said and thought out, especially if either of you felt hurt or unheard. jeonghan liked silence, just simple gestures speaking a million words and routines in place to reaffirm your love. you knew it was better his way, simpler and easier, but you'd lived his way and now, you find yourself suffocating in the same bed as him. 

you stir away from him, rolling off the bed and onto your feet, and make your way to your makeshift studio, closing the door off incase jeonghan gets curious. you can just say you were working on a new song. once in, you throw yourself against a bean bag, head heavy in hands. 

"god, this is stupid," you mumble as the tears roll out. you spiral almost immediately, thinking back to everything that went wrong in the past few months. for one, jeonghan was away for your 25th birthday, for the whole week, and though you'd spent it surrounded by your friends and his apologetic gifts, you couldn't talk the bitterness away. then, he'd been mad at you when you told him your tour started during the week he had off, calling you a "workaholic" because you'd rather work than go with him on the beach trip he'd planned. it was unfair, he'd admitted later, but not after you'd spent the whole week of your tour crying yourself to sleep. 

to add to it all, were the recent rumors in the news about jeonghan's brand new 'mistress', a japanese model called nana. even before the first article came out, he'd called you outright, telling you his agency had caught a reporter in japan pestering nana if she was anything to jeonghan. that had only dullled the pain you felt when you read it, pictures of jeonghan and nana posing for a cover shoot. and it wasn't the first time jeonghan had looked absolutely stunning beside another person, far better than you'd looked with him in all the paparazzi snaps that circulated the net when questioning if you were still in the running for the attractive model. 

it wasn't the first time and yet, thanks to your already strained relationship, you felt more hurt than usual. this was also the longest scandal yet, ongoing past four weeks, perhaps because of jeonghan's frequent visits to japan. it really got you thinking how there were so many reasons for the two of them to be in the same room. 

– 

jeonghan, alone in your shared bed, inevitably wakes up, confused when he doesn't feel you. "y/n?" he calls out, hoping you might just be using the washroom, but the lights are off and there's no sound in the bedroom. "my love?" he calls out louder, propping himself up on his elbows. when he hears no response, he falls onto his back with a weary sigh.

there was something up with you. you'd been acting… distant since the past two weeks. you'd pull away from his kisses a few beats too soon and wake up long before you had to. he wondered if he should ask you because he knows that's what you'd want but whenever he got to sit down next to in full seriousness, he'd go weak, missing your presence when he was away. 

he pulls out his phone, skimming throught the texts that had accumulated over the few hours he was asleep. there's a few from nana, the model he was rumored to be having an affair with. 

nana: another stupid article :( 

jeonghan sighs at the link she'd forwarded him. in full honesty, he'd all but developed a good friendship with nana while in japan, where he'd been previously lost without a good guide telling him where to go. given all his staff was korean, they could only be as useful as a google search. nana, however, had taken up to herself to show him the local spots, the shopping district where he'd been able to secure gifts for you, anticipating your needs before you'd known them.

you know all this, of course. jeonghan had offered to break all ties with nana if it bothered you but you'd been insistent that he keep his relationship with her, especially when it kept him sane abroad. 

you'd said you were fine, so how come you weren't next to him, mumbling sweet nothings into his chest like you always loved to? when you couldn't sleep, you would wake him up with your persistent kisses, apologizing when he did finally come to, but then talking about everything in the world from your outfit tomorrow to your plans in the next five years. 

"are we…" you'd started one night but then stopped, going hot and hiding your face into the pillow.

"are we what, love?" jeonghan pried you off the pillow and onto his arm, pushing his face close to yours so you couldn't run. 

"are we serious, han?" you finally asked, quietly. "you know, like, long-term serious?"

"hmm, let me think… i don't know we've only been dating for 20 months so i wouldn't get your hopes–"

you hit his chest with a muffled giggle, "you know what i meant!"

"i don't, really?"

you avert your gaze, "are we ever gonna, you know, be married? have kids? that kind of thing…"

jeonghan's heartbeat had sped up despite all his nonchalant facades and his face disclosed his flustered state causing you to go redder. "it's- forget about it if it's not something you've thought about–"

"of course i've thought about marrying you, doll," jeonghan asserts, arm around your waist to stop you from flailing around, his fingers draw circles on your exposed stomach. "of course i want to be committed to you for life, y/n. and don't even get me started on kids. i know it doesn't seem like it because i'm such a cool guy but i'm crazy for kids–"

"no, it's pretty obvious, you basically lose your head everytime we see a couple with a newborn baby–"

"okay, well, there you have it. i want kids with you, y/n."

you mull over his words in silence for a moment and then, "not now though, right?" you say, "we're both too succesful in our careers to… start a home."

jeonghan palms your cheek lovingly, "i think what we have right now is already home. but you're right, i think we ought to wait some more time. till it feels right."

till it feels right, he'd told you and now he kind of regrets it. he should've asked you to marry you right there so you'd never have a reason to doubt your relationship ever again. but again, that too was just a dream. 

– 

jeonghan was off to japan for a week. yet again, you think, holding your tears back on a sunday afternoon when you wake up to a resounding silence in your home. you need to find a way to make things right, you know. you need to talk to jeonghan but honestly, your head hurts so much you'd rather just forget all about him.

that's why you find yourself crashing at yves' place for the next few days, her house known to be a hub for lost souls and good music. you spend your afternoons working on new music, inspired by your new surroundings, writing about everything but jeonghan and as soon as it hit seven, you'd be helping yourself to martinis, thanks to yves' well-equipped bar. 

you were amid making yourself a drink while yves went over some notes and recordings you'd made this afternoon when she sat up with a weird look in her eyes. "y/n?"

"what is it? is it horrible?"

"no, it's not that. it's just… this feels like a different person," she comments, finger scrolling through your lyrics. "like a younger version of you? it has the same lonely vibe to it. i'm a fan of it to be honest, but i'm just wondering… is everything good?"

you chuckle, "yves, you ought to have known that if i'm here for an extended period of time, nothing is good… but i appreciatey you asking. i'll be fine, eventually." 

your friend is lost in thought for a while and you sip your drink when her phone pings with a message. she reads it and turns to you with a glint in her eye. 

"so… does that mean you'll go clubbing with me tonight?" 

– 

if you were gonna embrace a younger self, you might as well do it all, you thought, putting on a dress you'd loaned from yves. it was shorter than anything you'd worn recently and a light pink you never naturally gravitated towards. but you had to admit, it did look quite good on your figure when you looked in the mirror. you embellished your eyes with glitter, lining your eyes with mascara and a thin wing at the ends. 

the club itself is nicer than you'd expected and you're glad you'd dressed up as much as you did, pursing your lips to make sure the lip gloss you'd applied was still intact. yves pulls you to a table with her friends, some of them mutual to you, others complete strangers to you. either way, they're all fun, welcoming you without a question. 

one of the familiar faces is wonbin from a contemporary band known for its unique take on house music. he immediately materializes by your side when you've downed your first shot of the night, large grin overtaking his face. "you're here?" 

you tilt your head at his question, "i am! it's weird, isn't it?"

"a little," he shrugs, "you stopped coming out with us after you got swept up with that pretty model boy of yours."

you grow a little uneasy at the mention of jeonghan's name, "yeah, well, i thought it would be good for my music if i reconnected to my past a little. let myself live a little."

wonbin smiles, "that's nice, i love that. and to that," he brings out two more shots, handing you one, "cheers!" you hesitate for a moment but then catch yves looking at you encouragingly, and clink glasses with him, downing the drink in a go. 

that's all it really takes for you to let go. your body finds the music's rhythm faster than anyone else in the group so you take to the dance floor, and wonbin follows you, telling yves he'd look out for you. not that you need it. 

it's been a few songs that you've been dancing around, with wonbin's body getting closer to you with each time. you blink when his hand is at your waist, and you clear your throat, "i'm gonna go get some water!" wonbin grabs a hold of your wrist, "i'll come with!" 

it's a little uncomfortable, the way he's following you around, but you reassure yourself it was only for good intentions. a few more songs you keep yourself close to yves and her friends, feeling wonbin's presence heavily on your shoulder, but then you're a few more shots in and it doesn't really matter. 

it's only when you return from the bathroom when things go awry. it starts with your phone blowing up with texts and a call from jeonghan. in the loud music of the club, you can barely think, let alone talk to your boyfriend who you'd been ignoring for a week so you decline. when you make back to your table, your phone goes off again. jeonghan again. 

before you can register how odd it is of him to double-call you without good reason, wonbin's pulling you over next to him. you sit with a groan, "wonbin, i need to take this call–"

"y/n, you need to look at this. it's about jeonghan and that japanese model–"

yves cuts wonbin, "wonbin, get the fuck off her!" she tries to pry his arm off you but you find yourself unmoving when you catch jeonghan's figure on screen. he's laughing next to someone, a girl– oh, it's nana. she leans in close, a little too close, and you're not sure if it's your spinning head, but she keeps on getting closer, close until her lips are on jeonghan's and–

"i feel sick," you exclaim suddenly, clutching your stomach. wonbin's strong arms are around you in a moment and yves can't fight him off when he leads you through to crowd, weaving through the impossibly long line to the bathrooms. despite everything, you're thankful for him when he holds your hair up when you throw your guts up, tears mixing with the alcohol in your system. 

when you're done, you ask yves if she can take you home and she's already ready with your bag over her shoulder. 

"y/n, wait!" wonbin stops you, hand on your elbow, "can i talk to you for a sec–"

"wonbin, please, you've done enough, she needs to go home–"

"go home to what exactly?" he questions and you have to physically restrain yourself from falling to your knees with the sobs that wreck your body, "i'm here for you, y/n, if you ever need–"

down in your bones you know jeonghan better than anyone, know he would never be the kind to cheat on you, to ever leave you for the wolves like this. but honestly, the news ring out louder than anything in your head. "yoon jeonghan with ito nana, confirmed? was his little singer-songwriter girlfriend just a joke?" 

that's how you feel right now. little. and like a joke. you simply nod at wonbin and turn around to leave the club before the music can suffocate you any more. 

"i'm sorry, y/n, i didn't think he'd act up like that–"

"it's okay, yves, you didn't do anything," you tell her and look down at your phone at the photo of jeonghan that shows up every time he calls you. it was one you'd taken on your very first dates, of him sitting prettily across the table with a chopstick in each hand. 

"you should talk to him, y/n," yves pats your back, "you don't have to go back to him but you have to hear him out, right?"

you sigh, "you're right." 

you accept the call as yves leads you to a silent corner and gives you some space as she goes off for a smoke. you hold your breath when you hear jeonghan's voice. he sounds distraught.

"y/n? love?" 

all you can do is sigh to delay your tears. "hey," you say coarsely and jeonghan's losing his mind. 

"baby, can you stay where you are? i'm on my way, okay? i… i don't know what you've seen but you know it's not the truth. okay? just," you hear him run into someone and apologize. was he running to you? that would be crazy. "just let me talk to you."

you take a deep breath, "i'm waiting here." 

you don't question how he found you, it's likely your location on life360, a feature you'd added a year into your relationship just to know where the other was. just in case. 

you hadn't opened the app in a while, there hadn't been a reason. even if you knew where he was, he'd be far enough that it didn't mean enough. 

it takes a few more minutes before you hear jeonghan's voice on the sidewalk outside the club. he's in a white shirt that's been untucked from his pants. he's disheveled, and you can only wonder why. 

"y/n," he says, out of breath, sweat beading his forehead. 

"did you run here?"

"the car was stuck in the traffic so i told my driver to catch up," he inhales deeply, "i had to see you." 

"and why is that exactly?"

jeonghan sighs, "love, i think we both know why. that clip of nana kissing me probably found you by now?"

you look at your feet, "i saw it. i thought you guys were just friends?" you pause and before jeonghan can speak, you continue, "or was that just a lie silly little me believed?" 

jeonghan's hands find your shoulders, "there is absolutely nothing between me and her. i thought my platonic feelings were reciprocated because we'd been normal for so long. but then today, she… she kissed me and i realized that was me being stupid." 

"of course she was into you," you mumble. 

"i'm sorry, i really am. not just for this but for the past few weeks. or more than at. i don't know how long it's been but i feel like i haven't been putting you first."

"jeonghan, you have to know that it just sounds like you're overcompensating so i forget about the nana stuff."

"there is no nana stuff," he tells you, "and if you must know, i was always planning to come home a few days earlier. you've been so cold lately and i thought i could surprise you. but then you stopped responding to my texts and i found out through your bandmates you hadn't been home in a week. i got worried and in my head."

"i admit, i let nana distract me, but as nothing more than a friend. because when you're gone, i also lose my closest friend. i have no one but you to talk to you, love, i can't trust anyone, not after today. and i'm so sorry that i don't talk to you more, that i don't address problems as they come up."

you feel weaker than ever, head still down as tears roll down. "y/n? are you crying? baby, look at me, please."

"han, i really don't know what to do anymore," you finally break out, letting him take you into his arms, "i've been so miserable without you. i… i can't do it anymore." you take a deep breath to gather your thoughts. 

"you're so good at accepting changes and moving on from little fights. but i'm crazy. i get stuck in a spiral for days over the little things and after your scandal started, i… i can't help but think they're right." 

you pull away to look jeonghan in the eyes, "maybe i'm not the right one–"

"no," jeonghan cuts you off with a hiss that surprises both of you, "i will not have you think the stupid crap they're writing in the news, okay? you're my love, y/n, you're my everything. seriously, did you not hear me? i don't care about anyone else like i care about you. god, i'm stupid for not having married you when i had the chance."

"han, i don't know, i'm so tired," you rest your head against his. "can we go home for now?" 

later that night, you sit side by side with jeonghan on your side of the bed. you've taken your shoes off but not your dress. "is that a new dress?" he asks lowly. 

"i borrowed it from yves," you reply, adjusting the straps to sit right, "does it look fine?"

you feel like you're in a liminal space with jeonghan right now. you haven't broken up but you're not sure if everything's back to normal just yet. funnily, it feels like the first few months of getting to know him. he has the same boyish nervousness about him as his hand reaches out to brush your hair out of your face. 

"you look so good i'm mad i didn't buy you this dress," he says, "or that i didn't get to dance with you in it." 

you sniff, "i wish you'd been there tonight." and after a moment, "i wish we weren't so different."

and then again, "i wish we were the same person so i could know your thoughts inside and out without having to bother you." 

"it's not a bother, i'm just bad at it," jeonghan says, "and i don't wish we were the same person. because i love how different we are. i have so much fun with you, learning your ways and fighting with you."

"fighting is fun?" you ridicule him.

"only in retrospect, of course. i never want to see you look as hurt as you did tonight." 

he reaches out for your hand and you let him, intertwining your fingers. he places your joined hands against his lips and then back into his lap. "i love you, y/n. i love you more than everything."

"i thought i was everything?" you ask through a half-concealed giggle.

"don't tease me when i'm being vulnerable, love," he whines, "i'm serious. i'm sorry for making you feel so ignored all this while. it was never my intention. everything i did, i did because i'm stupid and still learning. but i always want to be with you. i want to spend everyday with you." 

"i love you too, han," you kiss his shoulder, "i'm sorry, too, for being so closed off. you don't have to feel so bad, it was partially my fault too."

jeonghan stands up, pulling you up after him. before you can ask him what's wrong, he hugs you tight, breath soft on your exposed back. your arms find his waist, rubbing his back in a reminder of how much you love him. slowly, you're not sure who starts it, you both start swaying to no song in particular, just to the rhythm of your heartbeats. he twirls you around with a smile and kisses your forehead. 

"on that note, my love," jeonghan stills you, tiptoeing across the room to his bag, ruffling through before finding what he was looking for. it's only when he gets on a knee that you comprehend what's happening, "i know i haven't been the most promising husband material but i promise, it will only get better from here. i've made the mistake of not doing this earlier and i can't wait to make you mine forever. so, y/n, will you marry me?"

with that, he opens the black box in his hands, revealing the precious diamond ring inside.

you've never fallen to your knees faster, taking his hands in yours, "yes, of course, i'll marry you, han! i–" you fall short of words when you look at the ring in his hands, "i had no idea you were planning on– god, i'm– i love you, han."

"part of the reason i wanted to come back faster was to do this," he tells you softly, slipping the ring onto your finger, "to finally propose to you." 

"finally?" you question, sensing some hidden meaning behind his words. 

"well, i have had this ring for a year now. i considered getting a newer model but this one was just too gorgeous." he takes your left hand in his, "and it looks prettier on you than i could have ever imagined."

"a year?" you ask in disbelief, "han! you– why didn't you tell me?" you feel stupid really, knowing how long he'd planned on marrying you for real. his love for you looms over you and you can't help but feel lightheaded. 

"because i didn't think it was the right time yet. i was wrong about that, of course. any time is right with you. i just needed to make you mine." 

you throw your arms around him, tearing up again, "yoon jeonghan, god, you make me crazy."

"so is that a good crazy, as in you'll write happy love songs about me again or… as in i make you want to scream and shout?"

"honestly, a bit of both," you laugh against his shoulder, "and about the happy love songs… i think you should know but i wrote some really depressing songs while you were away. yves loves them so they'll end up on the next album but i know you don't necessarily like them so–"

"what are you talking about? i love all of your songs."

"han," you kiss his cheek with a smile, "you don't have to lie. i know you feel weird about them. and that's okay. but i hope you know, i'm in a different space when i write those, and i will continue to write those. but they don't reflect the truth in any way, okay?"

he narrows his eyes, his lips pouty, "you mean to say i'm not good enough for you to make you happy for the rest of you life?"

"that is not what i said, babe, and you know it," you laugh again, letting him pull you onto his lap. he kisses you once and then twice. "if you say so, love." 

you spend your first night engaged to jeonghan the best way possible: talking to him. you lay down next to him, in your pyjamas, feeling fuller than ever. he tells you everything he'd thought or done in the past few months, scrolling through his camera roll for reference and kissing you whenever you'd have a giggling reaction. when it was your turn, you pulled up your notes app with lyrics from the past few months and read some select ones out for him.

"oh, oh, and the way i was gonna introduce this one was like this," you clear your throat as if taking on your stage persona, "this one's called no one's prettier because no one's prettier than my boy." 

you fall into a laughing fit with jeonghan, a slight blush on his cheeks when he pulls you close, "someone's down bad for me, huh?"

"yes, sir, i am," you say back, smugly, "i love my boy, sorry, my fiancé so much and i just can't shut the fuck about him."

"god, say that again."

"what? that i can't shut the fuck up about my pretty fiancé? my adorable loverboy? my honest and reliable husband?" the last word feels so right on your tongue when uttered for jeonghan, even though you'd never said it before.

"you're my everything, love," mumbles jeonghan with a big smile, kissing you sqaure on the mouth. 

–

"...so the past few months have been a rough trek for the band," you speak into the microphone, looking onto the solemn crowd with a soft smile, "and when i say the band, i really just mean me. i think i aged by like ten years." the crowd laughs. 

"but i came out stronger, and more engaged than ever," you wiggle your left hand at the crowd, throwing a smile at jeonghan at the front, watching with a smitten grin. "so here's a new song i wrote. it's called everything because my love is everything to me." 

when your set ends, you rush to jeonghan's arms and before you can ask him he'd liked the new song, he kisses your hands. "that was perfect, love. i've never felt more seen by a song." 

you let him shower you with kisses as you walk him through the lyrics a little. you're in the middle of explaining the bridge when you're interrupted by a call of your name. 

"y/n?"

you turn around to find wonbin standing before with a rose in his hand. "oh, hi, wonbin!" 

jeonghan doesn't do anything to hide the dislike on his face for the man. after all, you'd told him about everything that happened that night at the club and had barely managed to calm him down after. "hey," he nods at jeonghan who simply raises his brows at him.

wonbin glances at jeonghan's arm around your waist and sighs. "congratulations on your engagement, y/n," he holds out the rose, "and i'm sorry about everything that happened with us. i hope you know it's only because i have nothing but admiration for you. and maybe one day–" 

"thank you for your kind words, wonbin," jeonghan cuts him off, taking the rose and handing it to you with a small smile. "but we need to be going somewhere. sorry. see you around. maybe at the wedding?" 

as you walk away from wonbin, you chuckle at jeonghan, "didn't know you were still worked up about that guy?"

"of course i am! he tried to take advantage of you in a hard time! i'm just too pretty to get into a fight or i would've thrown hands long ago."

you laugh as you kiss him on the cheek, "right, of course. my baby, let's go home." 

#jeonghan x y/n #jeonghan x you #yoon jeonghan x reader #jeonghan svt #svt fics #svt x reader #jeonghan x reader #yoon jeonghan #jeonghan fics #yoon jeonghan x y/n #jeonghan seventeen #seventeen fics #seventeen imagine #jeonghan imagines #jeonghan fluff #svt fluff #seventeen scenarios #seventeen angst #jeonghan angst #kpop fic #kpop x reader #kpop imagines

[heartsforseo]

Straw hats with a member/ S/o who still sleeps with plushies.

A/n: so I’ve been gone for almost 2 months but shhh I got some motivation now😼😼. PLUS I got this inspo from reading something somewhere. SO TY FOR GIVING ME THE THINGY TO WRITE AGAIN. request=open requested: <yes> <no> wc:970 ft: the straw hats (excluding chopper) warning: ??

⭑Luffy honestly wouldn’t care. If he ever crashes into your room (girls' room) and sleeps on your bed, he’d even shove the stuff toys away.

⭑When he sees your pouting/sad face he’d be clueless and continue whining for you to hop on the bed with him.

⭑When you finally told him why you were mad, he just tilted his head and let out a LONG sigh

⭑Would use his gum-gum abilities and get all your stuffy back in the bed (while groaning. He does NOT want to share)

⭑Speaking of sharing, why coddle a plushie when you have Luffy? Would def get jealous and maybe even tear one of them.

⭑P.s. He did…

⭑Zoro, just like Luffy, couldn’t be bothered. He’d probably think of it as a design at first. I mean, a pirate sleeping with plushies??? That’s rare

⭑But as the creator said, everyone in the crew is a weird person. So, here you are—in your room. Shock and in awe.

⭑Believe it or not, Zoro was sleeping with one of your plushies (that looked like a reindeer…)

⭑He had always denied sleeping next/with them. (Only if you convinced him enough, he’d let out a groan but still follow)

⭑You’d have to tease him about it now. I mean, Zoro sleeping before you??? Shocking with that 3 hrs sleep schedule.

⭑And a certain chef might’ve heard what you’ve said and used it against a certain swordsman…

⭑Nami, would even tax the poor plushies:~((

⭑Jokes aside, she’ll think of it as cute and nice decorations. They’re cuddly, colorful, and good for distress.

⭑But sometimes there’s a limit. She couldn’t even sleep on her OWN bed cuz of how many you got.

⭑Would roll her eyes when she saw you pout and give you a 35% discount.

⭑To help you get “rid” (as she says) of plushies, she’ll take a mini tangerine and place it on her work desk.

⭑Now she talks to it after dinner, drawing the map of the world.

⭑Ussop I’d say would make a story about how he once traveled to a stuffed toy island.

⭑Everything there was colorful, soft, and cuddly! He’d even point at one of your plushies and say he met them on the island!

⭑Your plushie would just stare and stare and stare… Until Ussop had to let out a fake cough and do his other stuff.

⭑He’d ask for your permission to get one of your plushies for support. (You said yes ofc).

⭑Now, whenever he has to modify Nami’s weapon/ whenever he’s alone from the group—he’ll hold the small plushie tightly and hug it, waiting for ideas to pop up.

⭑Sanji the beigest of them all. I could see Sanji:

⭑1) getting jealous about it. You have a whole husband in front of you. And you’re picking the plushie to cuddle…THAN HIM?!

⭑Would give the plushie dirty stares (especially if it was given by someone not him/by his crew)

⭑When you’re doing something else, he’d wrap his arms around your waist and rest his head on your neck.

⭑He’d give the plushie a smirk and laugh a bit. (Nurse gising na po sya)

⭑OR

⭑2) Sanji would write that down in his “All about Y/n!” Notebook and put hearts all over it.

⭑He would give you plushies, and on every island you visit, he insists on getting you at least one stuffed animal.

⭑Would even sculpt one of his foods as your plushie.

⭑Plus he’d get all giddy iddy when he sees you coddling the plushie he bought. It’s really satisfying to see when the person you love appreciates what they give you.

⭑Robin would let out a smile and maybe even tease you (when she's feeling it)

⭑Might get jealous when you're spending more of your time with them. She's your crew member and s/o, you should focus on her!

⭑She once woke up with your back in front of her, and you were cuddling your plushie.

⭑Sad to say you couldn't find your stuffies for a week… :(

⭑But Robin was there for you!

⭑In the end, it was a win-win situation!

⭑FRANKY FOUND IT CUTE CUTE CUTE.

⭑While you were worrying about how he'll react (unknowingly to you, he already found out and named one of them cola jr.) Franky already made a small plushie (robot) that does the SUPEERRRRRRR with him.

⭑When he saw you sad that one of your plushies got teared up, he'd secretly take it and repatch it (w/h metal scraps)

⭑Would sweat when you confronted him about it, and even DENY IT.

⭑"Franky you're the only one I know that'd use metal scraps for repair…"

⭑"Oh."

⭑Brook is a cutie patootie.

⭑He already knows what you like, from the panties you wear to the plushies you like!

⭑Would make one of those and have some delightful little tea parties. If you're too occupied to join in, why not let your mini-version take part instead?

⭑Anyways, if you'd ever show him a soul king merch/plushie. HE'D FLY OVER THE MOONN.

⭑He didn't know they were selling those! Especially when the cane he has can be removed and shown as a knife.

⭑Our good boy Jinbe.

⭑While on his trip, he saw a lot of them. But of course wouldn't bother to buy one.

⭑I mean, you're on a business trip for sake. And a pirate should always be ready and need no time for aesthetics.

⭑Well, that's what he thought BEFORE he met you. When he saw your room he was SHOOK

⭑How did you have time for all of this? How were you gonna sleep? How will you keep them clean?

⭑Many thoughts were roaming in his head. But when he saw your adoring smile, he made up his mind and would do anything to make you happy.

⭑Even keeping your plushies clean.

A/n: I hope you all enjoyed it. nd sorry for the almost 2-month break.

#fypfypfypfypfypfypdypfypfypfypfypfypfyfpfyfpfyp #tumblr fyp #x reader #fluff #one piece #gn reader #one piece live action #luffy x reader #sanji x reader #zoro x reader #ussop x reader #usopp x reader #robin x reader #nami x reader #brook x reader #jinbe x reader #jimbei x reader #Luffy x reader #Sanji x reader #Ussop x reader #Usopp x reader #Zoro x reader #Nami x reader #Jimbei x reader #Jinbei x reader #Robin x reader #franky x reader #Franky x reader #Brook x reader #la!zoro x reader

[autball]

Part 4 of a 5 part series about the ways harmful practices can be made to sound appealing and how to spot the differences between helpful and harmful approaches.

Sensory sensitivities are a huge part of being autistic (and sometimes ADHD, too). They can range from kind of annoying but manageable to debilitating and meltdown-inducing. They can fluctuate from day to day and situation to situation. They can seem to pop up one day out of nowhere and disappear just as quickly.

Sensory differences are dynamic, which can make them unpredictable and disruptive. Not many people want to live that way, so working on sensory desensitization with someone who has a lot of sensitivities sounds like a thing that could help. Fewer meltdowns and able to do more things? Yes please!

But as you might have guessed, there’s a giant problem with that: reducing sensitivity isn’t really a thing you can do TO someone. At least, not without inducing a trauma response or two. You can certainly get someone to learn to ignore their own body signals or pretend to be fine when they’re not, but that’s not a sensory thing. That’s a dissociation thing.

“Sensory desensitization” is usually code for exposure therapy. Exposure therapy has its uses, but addressing legitimate sensory issues isn’t one of them. And it should only be done WITH someone who can fully consent and actively participate. Coercing and/or forcing someone to interact with distressing sensory input until they stop reacting is not that.

“Sensory desensitization” also operates under the assumption that people just get used to, or habituate to, the noises and sensations around them, even ones that bother them. But studies have shown that autistic people actually don’t habituate to sensory stimuli the way non-autistic people do. It may take way longer to happen, or it may never happen at all.

You know what can and does happen? Sensory sensitivities can just kinda…change. All on their own. We grow up, our hormones change, our stress levels change, our environments change, and our sensory profiles are affected by all of those things (and more!). Sensitivities can just disappear, naturally, without any intervention. And that’s about the only thing I’d ever refer to as real sensory desensitization.

But sensory sensitivities can go any which way. Maybe new ones rear their ugly heads. Or maybe something bothers us at a level 7 one day and 2 the next, then goes all the way up to 11 next week. And then there are the ones that just stay pretty much the same, all the time, forever.

I could not handle pants for a long time as a kid, but then somewhere along the way, I could. I really couldn’t tell you when it happened. There are some foods that used to make me gag that no longer do, and there are some that I still just cannot handle. I have never been okay with things that stick to my hands, and that really hasn't changed since as far back as I can remember. 

You know what all these sensory sensitivities have in common? Someone made me “tolerate” them at some point, often repeatedly. And none of them changed (or didn’t) because of repeated exposure, but because of my natural development. All I got from forced exposure was this lousy tendency to disconnect from myself.

Sensory desensitization is just not a thing we should be trying to do to people. Sensory *integration* is a real thing that can help people, but that is a whole different animal that requires more than just exposing people to stuff that bothers them. You’ll need an OT (Occupational Therapist) with the specialized training for that. Just make sure they’re not sneaking behaviorism tactics or exposure therapy in there either (yep, the words “sensory integration” can be used to misrepresent what they’re doing, too).

It is a far better thing to help someone learn about their own sensory profile and how to manage their sensory needs than to make them ignore their own body signals. Alexithymia is not #goals.

#actually autistic #autistic #autism #adhd #audhd #sensory processing differences #sensory processing disorder

[kindaqueerngl]

pjo characters as weird and dumb things me and my friends have said

Percy: what the fuck is cockblocking like I can't block ur cock on Snapchat

-

Will: UUUUUUUGH MY ASS HURTS- ooh look a butterfly

-

Leo: I CANT FIND MY PRETTY STICKER- AW FUCK- SHIT- MY VAGINA- OOAOoOoOOooAHAHHAgh

-

Jason: I can't actually believe I just agreed with you but hey here we are

-

Reyna: why the fuck am I friends with any of you hoes

-

Piper: should I...? too late I did it

-

Will: the best way to rizz someone up is by rizzing them up *turns to friend, winks horribly* hey baby girl

-

Rachel: one sec getting my anger out *aggressively splatters paint on canvas*

-

Annabeth: sometimes I'm smart. When I'm smart, I'm smart. *awkward thumbs up and grimace*

-

Octavian: fuck the gays they should all die ... I mean I could fuck some gays

-

Hazel: I'll make you tea but not in a sweet way I'll make it so hot in burns your tongue and you can't speak for a week

-

Frank: hey guys check me out I'm a furry on drugs *WOOOF WOOF BARK BARK BARK WOOF WOOF*

-

Grover: I love plants :3 specifically magic mushrooms but like

-

Leo: I mean I would totally fuck you but like respect man

-

Will: Ugh fuck my life I hate everything *coldplay starts playing* I retract the previous statement I fucking love life

-

Jason: UGH UR ALL SO DUMB but I'm in

-

Nico: if u wanna kys clap ur hands *rapidly claps hands*

-

Piper: *hypnotizes u with my beautiful blue orbs* come over to my house

-

Hazel: respectfully hope you die <3

-

Frank: I'm on acid what's it called when a ton of cats jump on each other a dog pile or a cat pile

-

Reyna: OH THANK GOD- sike I don't believe in that motherfucker hahahha

-

Annabeth: I'm so smart *holds up the one good test I got in school* see the teacher even gave me an 11/10 because I wrote my name in a cool font

-

Leo: UUUUUGGGGGHHHH IM SO HORNY- *mom walks in* oh hi mom how are you

-

Will: we can just... fuck. as friends though no homo.

-

Rachel: IF I DON'T DRAW SOMETHING IN THE NEXT FEW MINUTES I AM GOING TO MAUL SOMEONE

-

Octavian: you all suck and I hate you *silence* no wait come back

-

Someone: haha ur gay

Nico: yeah??? and ur not?? like don't knock it until you try it dick is yummy man

-

Hazel: someone just told me what smearing is and honestly I kinda wanna die *fix you by coldplay starts playing* LMAO WTF

-

Frank: you sad ass emo dog just be happy

-

Percy: I Am OnE wiTh ThE oCeAn AnD HopEfuLLy aLL oF ThE hOt MerPeOpLe In iT

-

Leo: *talking to literally nobody* hey guys!! gonna go get my top surgery! *shows up at claires*

-

Reyna: I only wanna die sometimes and that's normal right

RIGHT

-

Will: *playing guitar* haha look guys I'm fingering A minor *strums violently*

-

Jason: screw men *eyes widen* I should start taking my own advice ngl

-

Will: *listening to a playlist that Nico made him* ugh my emo ass boyfriend and his stupid music I hate him *proceeds to write his name over and over again in diary with hearts around it*

-

Nico: what if I strangle someone with a pair of earbuds

Will: please don't

-

Leo: *in demonic voice* LeAf *eats it*

-

Nico: *pulls gay flag out of pocket* omg it's u

Will: *shuffles around in pocket, finds condom* ... it's u, vanilla flavoured

-

Leo: my name's Leo

Percy: and I like jugs

Nico: I'm mentally ill

Leo: and I'm on drugs :D

-

Jason: is there anything better than pussy

Piper: I thought you where gay

Jason:

Jason: my boyfriend's trans?

-

Will: the temptation to fuck an emo boy rn is killing me

-

Leo: the masculine urge to

Leo:

Leo: I forgor

-

Will: that's good!

Nico: like me in bed

*silence*

-

Leo: smash or pass Ryan Gosling

Nico: SMASH

Will: PASS

Solangelo: *glares at each other*

-

Nico: omg stop with that song

Will: but

Will: but you can take me hot to go :(

-

Annabeth: yeah

Percy: yeah

Annabeth: *in funny voice* yeah

Percy *hentai moan* yEEEAAAaaH

-

Leo: *pointing at Nico* EEEEEEWWWW AN EMOOOOOO EWWW

-

Jason: never ever look up what an eyesha erotica lyric means

Reyna:

Reyna: oh you poor soul *pats back*

-

Nico: I can't breathe

Will: just

Will: breathe air

Nico: I breathe drugs

-

Piper: I'm gonna go play basketball

Leo: haha play with my balls

Jason: already do

Leo: *chokes on air*

well that's all sorry for the torture, thanks to @localcosplaymushroom, @crowwolf8, @justagremlinoncaffeine, and @secret-mewtwo for all of the funny convos that went into this

#funny #meme #haha #lol #pjo #hoo #toa #tsats #rrverse #Nico di angelo #piper mclean #piper mcqueen #Leo valdez #Jason grace #reyna avila ramirez arellano #rachel elizabeth dare #grover underwood #Percy jackson #annabeth chase #frank zhang #hazel levesque #incorrect quotes #solangelo #percabeth #will x nico #Nico x will #Percy x annabeth #annabeth x percy #frank x hazel #hazel x frank

[springstarfangirl]

hi spring! i'm writing an orthodox jewish character and had a few questions for you.

how does a synagogue work? as in. what does a service look like, and is it possible to visit a synagogue outside of set "service" hours? is the rabbi available for discussion etc outside of those hours?

my character's dad died when he was very young, so his (jewish) mother would take him to the synagogue. would he have to sit on the male side of the synagogue as a child? or would that start after his bar mitzvah?

thank you so much!

Thank you for trusting me with these questions!

Now, a large portion of these questions might be highly dependent on where the characters live, since Israeli shuls tend to be rather different than ones in America, but I'll answer what I know and tag some other people here to offer a more diasporic perspective.

So, Orthodox Jewish prayer service happens three times a day. Morning, afternoon, and night. The morning service is the longest of the three in general, and the special additional Shabbat service is generally hooked on to the end of the morning service, making it quite long depending on the length of the Torah portion that week and how fluently the members of the shul speak Hebrew.

A service will generally be entirely in Hebrew with snippets of Aramaic, though there are places in between the prayers (mainly Shabbat night and morning) where people will sometimes stop and give a dvar Torah, which will usually be in the local language. Shabbat morning service in Israel can be as fast as an hour and a half and I've heard tell of diaspora services that take three or four hours. The length also depends on how much singing you do, and this is a different type of singing than you'd see in a Christian house of worship- we prefer to avoid choirs in our worship (I think it stinks too much of Christianity) and so singing is generally all melodic, involving everyone in the shul.

Whether you can visit a shul outside of service hours depends on the shul. Most community shuls will be locked up, but there are shuls meant to service workers in various jobs, and those will often remain open all day. The rabbi should be available outside of prayer hours for questions and advice, since as the Jewish law expert, that's what he's there for.

Specific people acting as a paid cantor isn't something I've experienced in Israel, since most people are somewhat fluent in Hebrew and the position of cantor will get passed around from week to week, but I've heard it's a thing outside of here.

Children do not have to sit on the appropriate side of the mechitza until they come of age (13 for boys, 12 for girls) but most communities will prefer having them start around the age of 10, with exceptions made depending on the situation. Depending on the style of mechitza, your character could still sit next to his mother then- if they're mobile wooden barriers or curtains, then there will be seating either side of them, and your character and his mother could sit next to each other either side of the mechitza. If the women's section is an elevated section accessed separately, then that's rough on the kid, but the mom might ask a friend to help him get used to it.

Tagging @slyandthefamilybook @daughterofstories @resplendent-ragamuffin @theskyvoid for more specific diasporic stuff.

#jumblr #orthodox judaism #modern orthodox #orthodox jews #writing advice #feel free to join in on the advice becaude i do not know everything

[kyletogaz]

the fall: part two cw: angst, hurt/no comfort, death mention, flashback part one

you miss kyle. 

you know he shouldn't be on your radar, but it's been almost two months since you've last seen him. sometimes you wonder how he's doing, and if he's safe. cutting off all contact with kyle was the best thing for you and your sanity, but it was also one of the hardest decisions you've ever had to make.

the next time kyle shows up on your doorstep, it takes you by surprise. you were certain that he would stay away after the verbal lashing you gave him.

your eyes are wide and your voice is tinged with shock when you question him about being at your door. “i thought i told you to-"

"go to hell? yeah, i heard you loud and clear, darling.” kyle will never tell you, but he loves it when you put him in his place. “i just wanted to talk, if you’ll let me.”

you refuse to look him in the eye as you step aside to let him in. you know for a fact that he won’t leave you be, so you’ll just have suck it up and get through this visit with your sanity intact. when kyle is finally inside, you close the door and lock it, then follow him to the living room. he makes himself comfortable on your couch and you have to resist the urge to make him leave. you were already starting to regret letting him in.

pretty brown eyes look at you expectantly, and you know he wants you to take the seat next to him. you don’t. and perhaps it was done out of spite, but you chose another seat instead. kyle frowns at the distance between you two, but he doesn't comment on it. he eyes you for a moment, before he lets out a shaky sigh and opens his mouth to speak.

you beat him to it.

“you left me.” it breaks his heart to hear how small your voice sounds, and how you stare off to the side with an unhappy look on your pretty face. “and the worst thing about all of this, is how i went back on my word because i’m too fucking blinded by love and a pretty face.”

you meet kyle’s gaze head on when he apologizes, as if it would mend your poor fractured heart. “you can’t be too remorseful, if leaving was your first choice. do you have any idea how it made me feel?” you ask, your voice full of fury. “it made me feel like i meant nothing to you, like i was nothing more than a one night stand. is that what you think of me? that i’ll always be good enough for you to fuck, but not good enough for you to love?” you watch him wince at the venom in your tone.

he shakes his head in denial and tells you that he does love you, but all you can do is stare at him in disbelief, as your eyes glisten with tears. "i’m not even sure if i believe you, kyle,” you manage to choke out while you try to regain control over your emotions.

kyle watches you with a heavy heart. he did this, never expecting for you to fall in love with him. but when he realized the exact moment your feelings for him started to change, he never mentioned it to you. it was inconsiderate of him to let it happen when this wasn’t what either of you agreed to. he should have ended it when he first got the chance, but deep down, he wanted you to love him.

“did you know i was in love with you?” the question had been gnawing at your brain for the last couple of days.

you finally get the chance to ask kyle, and he doesn’t bother responding. how can he, when the answer is written all over his face. it shocks you to your core. he’s sitting across from you with tense shoulders and a jaw that’s clenched so tight, you think it might shatter. he won’t even look you in the eye. you’ve been struggling with your feelings for weeks and he knew. it hurt to know that he’s carried your secret around with him for god knows how long, and not once did he ever acknowledge it.

you don’t even bother kicking kyle out. he watches you storm away from him and into your bedroom, the sound of your door slamming traveling to his ears. he runs a hand down his face, before swearing loudly. he knows he fucked up and he’s not even sure if he can fix it. with a sigh, kyle strides down the hallway to your bedroom. he doesn’t knock. he sits on the floor with his back resting against the wall across from your door as he listens to your sobs. he wants so badly to open the door and go to you, but he knows his presence will only make things worse.

kyle’s not sure how long he sits there on your floor with his head in his hands, before you emerge from your room. he straightens up when he hears your door creak open, his face falling when he notices your red eyes and the pained expression on your face. “you’re still here,” you comment softly as you stand in the doorway.

kyle leans against the wall with a sigh. “wouldn’t have been right for me to leave you.”

like you did before, you think to yourself bitterly. you can’t bring yourself to say it out loud. you were already hurting enough as it is. it makes no sense to pour more salt into the wound.

kyle watches you shift from foot to foot, before you sink down to the floor across from him. the look on his face is unreadable and it makes you nervous. you want to know what he’s thinking and how he’s feeling. you want to know if what he said was true.

“what you said before—” you bit your lip nervously. you’re not exactly sure if you want an answer to the question you’re about to ask. you pause for a moment to gather up the courage to just spit it out. “you said you loved me. is that true, or were you just telling me what i wanted to hear?”

kyle has to look away from your imploring eyes when he tells you that he meant what he said. you expect to feel some kind of warmth from his words. It should make you happy that kyle loves you, but it doesn't. your feel your lips tremble, as you suck in a breath to keep your tears at bay. when kyle meets your gaze again, his eyes are wet with tears, and the look on his face is just as bad as the one on yours.

"i don't understand," you whine as you brush your tears away. "why didn't you say anything, kyle?"

"because i'm selfish. i wanted your love even though i never planned to let you have mine. and i hope you'll forgive me for everything i'm about to say." he pauses to take a deep breath. he's not sure how this conversation will end, but he has to get it out, for his sake and yours. "i could have told you months ago that i was in love with you but i decided not to. and as much as it pains me to say this, i thought it would be easier for you to love someone else. i’m a soldier, sweetheart.” he’s got too many enemies lurking and too much blood on his hands. “you deserve someone who won't leave for deployment and come back to you in a casket. i won’t ruin you like that, lovie. i should have broken things off with you as soon as it became too much for me. that was always the plan."

“so you’ve decided for the both of us, then.” you hate the way your voices cracks as you say it. you haven’t fully processed kyle’s answer. it wasn’t something you thought you would ever hear from his mouth.

“i’m sorry.”

the cord keeping you tethered to kyle snaps violently when you tell him it’s over and that you’re done.

it’s for the best, you think over and over again as you watch kyle walk out of your door, and out of your life. this isn’t what you want, but since kyle’s determined to keep you at arm’s length, he’s not giving you much of a choice.

when you no longer see the taillights on his truck, you brace yourself for the flood of tears you’re sure will come. and when they do, you don’t fight them.

damn you, kyle.

the shrill sound of your phone ringing snaps you out of a daze, the high volume making you flinch a little. when you look down to see who’s calling, you see kyle's name. you don’t even hesitate to answer.

“hello?”

"good evenin’, doll. i'm sorry to be callin' you so late." it's simon. what the hell was he doing with kyle’s phone, and why was he calling you and not kyle himself?

"simon?" you must sound confused because he apologizes again. "it's fine. something must be wrong if you're calling from kyle's phone." when the silence lasts a little too long for your liking, you snap out a firm, “simon, please."

“it’s kyle, he’s hurt.”

a/n: thank you to @starsofang for the inspiration. ily 💕

don’t jump me, i’m working on part three right now so y’all can get a happy ending.

part three sneak peek

masterlist

#kyle garrick #kyle garrick x reader #kyle gaz garrick #kyle gaz garrick x reader #gaz x reader #me a dialogue lover 😭 #kyletogazwrites #i’ve done all the editing i can do #don’t jump me y’all

[lani-heart]

You take requestssss⁉️ can you write like hanging out with sunoo and jungwon from bright sun, like hanging out at school 😍😍

Being Student Council President for Decelis and all he could spend the most time with y/n without being told off by the school or other mates not like they don’t like to complain already as it is. 

The second would be Heeseung but despite most of the errand work being for the vice president, Jungwon changed that rule and made it so he did his errands for you only irritating the older mate. 

Though with his rivalry with Wonyoung, he wouldn’t often get peace in the council room with his mate instead he made it his mission to eat lunch with you at the minimum, at times he wouldn’t even leave your side and have breakfast with you and Jake or dinner with you, Sunoo, and Jay. 

Out of all seven of your mates, he was by far the clingiest. 

He’d often just even sit in silence in the Bright Sun’s scheduled council time to hang out with y/n.

“y/n get your pet vampire out!” Wonyoung taunted and the vampire only scoffed. “I have a right to be here” Jungwon defended and she scoffed and left the room. “You should learn to get along,”  you said and he looked at me with a deadpan expression. 

“Respectively… that's never going to happen,” he said and you chuckled. He stood up and now was behind you to rest his head on the top of yours. 

“Don’t you ever get tired of this?” he asked and you chuckled. “Mhhm… all the time,” you said and he chuckled. “Then let's go!” he said and you were caught off guard. “Huh? Where would we even go?” you asked and he smiled. 

“It doesn’t matter as long as we’re together, my love” 

Sunoo was the hopeless romantic soulmate of yours who often did cute things. While Jungwon will take you away and you plan out places to eat with Jake. Sunoo did the planning with you. 

Besides Heesueng, he was the only one to plan out his dates with you, such as memorizing your schedule to even surprise you. He’d dress up nicely and even make sure you got his note saying to dress nice for him or warm depending on the occasion. 

He’d often take you out and try new things with him. Though it was a nice change of pace especially if he was planning and not you. It also helped that he was friends with your friends. So they had the girls' perspective on where you’ve been eyeing up recently. 

“Ta-da!” he said as he uncovered your eyes from his hands. “I’ve been telling the girls I wanted to come here for weeks now!” you said with a happy grin. 

“I know! Which is also why–""You need to get something for them as service fees?” you teased and he chuckled. “Worth it, if im the one accompanying you,” he said and you smiled. 

His dates were really based on what seemed to be a dream or even a fairytale. “You’re lucky, I was planning on coming here with Jake,” you said and he was distraught. “Yah! You’d take him and not me!” he would pout and sulk as you guys entered the cute little ice cream place that was open to all species. 

It even had blood-infused flavors that you knew the other boys would like as well as cakes and pastries on the side. 

“Ooh! Want to share a flavor with me?”

Niki was good at almost everything you gave him but he was specifically amazing at Nightball, the game that the rest of the boys were a part of. 

You often found yourself watching him practice or simply just sitting down in the field while he did. When he is frustrated he’d simply lie down next to you and you’d shower him with compliments to get him going.

He loved hearing how you’d praise him and simply just watch his practices. Despite sometimes having your other mates there you’d always part this time for Niki. 

“y/nnie! This is boring!” he said as he plopped down next to you. “I think you were amazing” you’d say, making a grin appear on his face. “But im always amazing right!” he said and you’d always agree.

Despite the scoffs and looks of jealousy from the rest of your mates, Niki would just spend time looking at your council work or just hearing how cool he is.

He’d also tell you how the rest of your mates sucked at the game compared to him though you’d never let him get sad because he was having a bad day.

As long as you were his personal cheerleader he wasn’t going to be upset anytime soon. 

“Keep cheering for me! And only me okay!”

#enhypen #enhypen x reader #enhypen bright sun #enhypen x female reader #enhypen poly au #enhypen heeseung #enhypen heeseung x reader #heeseung x reader #enhypen jake #enhypen jake x reader #jake x reader #enhypen sunghoon #enhypen sunghoon x reader #sunghoon x reader #enhypen jay #enhypen jay x reader #jay x reader #enhypen sunoo #enhypen sunoo x reader #sunoo x reader #enhypen jungwon #enhypen jungwon x reader #jungwon x reader #enhypen niki #enhypen niki x reader #niki x reader

[bibibbon]

MHA chapter 425

Iam not really sure how to feel about this chapter. Well I can definitely say that I still think that the entirety of the second war arc especially the last few chapters weren't my favourite and ruined the series for me but we have the power of rewrites on our side so not to worry

So we finally have a 1A member that left. It's surprising that it took a total of 425 chapters for someone to finally leave the hero course. This low-key makes me question if 1A just all has neglectful parents that don't care about them because I think any sane parent would of took their kids out of UA a long time ago and the first war arc should of been a wake up call. Now that yuuga has left it does make me wonder what he will do. I mean he has to continue his education somewhere 🤷‍♀️

Shinsou joins class 1A and Iam surprised his parents let him. I get that shinsou was due to join the hero course in their second year but like this series sometimes make me question if any of these characters have sane parents because why would you let your kid join in such a dangerous job?!?! Also I respectfully think that shinsou is heavily underdeveloped and didn't get any moment to shine in the war arc. Also there isn't much of a relationship between 1A and shinsou so it does feel a bit off I guess and maybe this is just me but I always thought that he fit in better with 1b

Pacing is hella fast! How are they going back to school already and throwing a graduation ceremony. It hasn't been a week and somehow everything is rebuilt like that, we get little to no information from what they plan to do in the future. We do get a tiny speech but we don't get them starting to do such things and personally I would of at least enjoyed a panel seeing some heroes help rebuild and clean the damage caused. Plus I think everyone can tell that the MHA society is flawed so saying that they want to go back to their old ways seems very iffy to me. I also would of liked an acknowledgement in what actually happen in the war arc but considering that not many people died they weren't gonna do any type of memorial thing or anything.

Is that shigaraki?!?! Or kurogiri?!?!?!? Who is it!!! Iam totally unsure of who it is but I don't think it would make sense if it was shigaraki because he literally died unless hori is actually going along with the plan of separating Tenko and shigaraki and thats not shigaraki but the innocent and crying Tenko type of bs (I absolutely hate this idea tbh) also what happend for tenko to come back as a child I suppose? Or is this someone completely new who has been effected by society and we're supposed to be like well evil is still brewing as society hasn't changed type thing? Maybe it's kurogiri idk I just want to see kurogiri again.

Enji is in a wheelchair (don't really care for him). This makes me question if endy is even a hero anymore and if he ain't who is the number one then? ( I still think they're going by that system because they said they wanna go back to the old ways)

Wait are we gonna see Dabi next chapter!!!!. Enji is facing somewhere with a ton of wires and all so maybe it could be where Dabi is being held at? I mean we don't know if Dabi is dead and we didn't get todoroki talking about it at all

I need Izuku's old hair back!! I miss the fluffy hair and I get that the convo was supposed to be lighthearted and all but I would of enjoyed the pages being used for something else like them actually checking up on eachother. Is tokoyami quirkless? How did they spend their time? Questions like that would of sufficed but I hated Izuku's hair at least he has some people telling him it's cool even if they might be lying

This chapter didn't give us much clarification on much to be honest. Yeah I was expecting this chapter to have huge focus on other villains and characters yet it didn't. I know I have to be patient blah blah but the last two panels of 424 did give us ochako and Todoroki but we got the least focus on them this chapter. I was hoping the villain situations might start to get addressed but I guess that will be next chapter with maybe Tenko making a comeback?

In conclusion, it was ok I didn't expect it to be amazing because it was a chapter that was gonna expand on stuff I didn't like 🤷‍♀️.

#mha critical #bnha critical #mha #hori is a bad writer #horikoshi critical #bhna critical #bnha #mha 425 #meh #wasnt great #wasnt horrible but it built up on horrible things

[thoughtsonhurtandcomfort]

Shun the Light - Ch 18 - Nightlife

Masterlist

Author's Notes: Dante POV here, Matteo next chapter

Both chapters will jump around a bit, but I didn't want to drag things out too long and it would just be a lot of the same thing over and over again anyway.

Content Warnings: vampire whump, angst, loneliness, beaten up, alcohol mention, smoking mention

----

Returning to his old ways shouldn't be this hard.

Dante spent forty-eight years alone. Matteo was only here two months.

Who knew such a slight impact could leave such a crater.

He set himself up for failure the moment he tried to go about business as usual as though none of it happened. Like they didn't bare their souls to each other, like he didn't lick Matteo's wounds and hold him while he cried, like Matteo didn't feed Dante with his own blood countless times.

The bedroom where Matteo stayed looks like no one touched it. The bed is neatly made, his things all gone, any mess cleaned up.

Only a few small things throughout the house provide any reminder that there was a second inhabitant, if only for a short while. Claw marks in the bunker, a broken attic window, the handful of things Matteo bought for him in town. Sometimes he can still recall the taste of Matteo's blood. Sometimes he still catches a hint of his scent when he walks into a room.

Without these things Dante might be able to convince himself that it was all a dream, or worse, a hallucination in his dying moments before he turns to ash, still staked to the wall upstairs. But the emptiness that aches within Dante is all too real.

-

I miss him.

The admission finally comes three weeks after Matteo left.

Night has just fallen and Dante is looking out the window. He has almost gotten used to the silence by now. He has also started hunting again, drinking just enough to keep going, no more, no less. Even now, something in him wants to live - if this could be called a life.

With each passing night the moon grows, and Dante dares to hope that Matteo will change his mind and return. Even if it was only for shelter, at least they could talk. Dante wouldn't try to make him stay; he just wants to know if their time together meant something to Matteo too. Maybe they could even stay in touch.

-

The full moon arrives.

Dante leaves the front door unlocked and a lamp on out front.

Morning comes, but there is no sign of Matteo.

-

Dante feels like he might finally lose his mind after all these years.

One moment he's doing alright, the next he's at the damn window again, looking for a figure that never appears. None of the usual distractions are working. His appetite continues to dwindle.

Three nights have passed since the full moon. Some part of Dante really believed it was the thing that would bring Matteo back. No matter how determined he was to move on, the hope was like an itch he couldn't scratch.

Sick of his own thoughts, Dante decides he needs to do something. He doesn't intend for it to be something reckless, but that's what happens. That night he steps outside, picks a direction, and starts walking.

-

After a few hours of nothing but trees, Dante reaches a state route that cuts through the woods. He ducks behind a tree until a single car passes before he steps out.

In the distance a handful of businesses line the road. As Dante approaches he can tell that most of them are closed, except for a gas station and a dive bar with a single glowing blue sign.

This is the point where Dante should turn around and head back. Instead he heads towards the light without any real plan. He hasn't been somewhere so public in over a decade. Maybe being around humans will remind him why he avoids it.

Dante only just makes it through the front door when a group of four belligerently drunk young men shove past him.

"Watch it," one snaps at him.

"Go home and take a bath," Dante mutters.

The man closest to him stops and turns around. "What was that?"

Shit. He keeps his back to them. "Nothing."

Another guy grab's Dante's shoulder and forces him to turn around. The group take one look at him with his long hair and old fashioned clothing and deem him an easy target.

Getting rid of them would be easy, but not worth the risk of getting caught, so Dante doesn't struggle when they drag him around the side of the building and shove him to the ground.

"It's nice and quiet out here. Now what did you say?"

Dante slowly stands and brushes himself off. He turns to walk away, but one of them grabs his arm. He immediately pulls free, and when the man reaches for him again Dante grabs him first, holding his wrist in a tight grip.

"What - what the fuck, man?! Let go!"

He struggles but Dante is unmoving, staring him down. If he wanted to he could snap his bones. If he really wanted to he could tell the man to break his own wrist, and he would obey.

Dante sees the the punch coming. He could stop it. He could stop all of this in an instant. If he wanted to. If he cared.

A fist strikes his cheek with brute force, sending Dante crashing to the ground. This time, before he has a chance to recover, all four men surround him and unleash a barrage of fists and boots, each blow more painful than the last. It's all he can do to shield his mouth so the humans don't see his fangs each time he cries out.

"HEY!" Someone shouts. "Break it up or I'm calling the cops!"

One of them grabs Dante's shirt and slams him back against the wall and leans in close. His breath smells like cheap beer and cigarettes.

"I don't want to see you here again," he growls, "got it?"

Dante nods and the man lets him go. He slides down the wall and slumps to the ground. The group heads off to their car, and the stranger who intervened walks over to check on him.

"You need me to call someone for you?"

That voice...

"Shit, he's not breathing. Hey, are you o...kay..."

He comes to a halt beside Dante and crouches down. Dante lifts his head and is met with a familiar pair of amber eyes.

"Dante?"

#vampire whump #angst #loneliness #beaten up #beaten #punched #alcohol mention #cigarette mention #whump writing #my writing #my ocs #dante #matteo #shun the light #no beta we die like men

[bacchuschucklefuck]

slowly chipping away at a full set of PC illus for ASO because I need something nice to put on the label of these definitely legally acquired DVDs I've got lyin around in my room anyways I got two done so far. marge and sidney

#dimension 20 #a starstruck odyssey #margaret encino #sundry sidney #this hypothetical and definitely not real dvd boxset is gonna require a hefty amount of assets... but I do wanna uh. make them for fun #I like making fake labels and stuff like that! I do mockups of in-universe brand packagings for fun sometimes! definitely! #anyways. Im onto skip next I love that little guy so much. sigh I should rewatch ASO <- just finished a rewatch a week ago

[wheatcak3]

I've been seeing the lemon thing everywhere I can't get it out of my head 🍋😭

#I have no silly goofy tidbits other than i think bard and wispti should canonically try a lemon together #carmen dei pt 2 where bard and venti eat a lemon #i like eating lemons sometimes #theres some wheat lore for the day #i ate concrete the other day and my hand's a little banged up at the moment so i get a little silly doodle as a treat uwu #im also graduating next week so :D #genshin impact #venti #wispti #nameless bard #wheat art

[pitchthepeach]

Tom and Pete's first meeting in @icezansky 's fantastic Pontiac Blues

#stop what you're doing and go read Pontiac Blues it's an order <3 #top gun #icemav #tom iceman kazansky #pete maverick mitchell #Pontiac Blues (my beloved) #i debated the whole day whether i should post it or not but sometimes you have to take out the trash (post on tumblr) and move on!! #it wasnt supposed to look this... how do you say ringard in english? well that :( #i'm so sorry i'll do better next time !! #(their faces lmao week old corpses <3)

[toxooz]

finally starting to see a finishing line imma say this comic update should be done and posted by next friday at latest 🤘

#i got 4 pages left one of which im more than halfway done #and im hearing talk that we might not work saturday so ill actually have time over the weekend SO #it should be posted next week for sure ya #also might get a skateboard sometime this week too which will be a category 9 autism event for me YEEEHAWWW #if not this week then SOON #also ripped my inner arm open from a metal corner in the Same Exact place as my other arm slice now scarred so thats gross yet satisfying #AIGHT shutting thy fucketh up back to haul ass mode

[matd0]

WIP of jefff cuz i have been playing minecraft for the past few days instead of drawing B)))

also tysm for the support immm so glad people like my stupid self indulged drawingzz lolll :]

#jeff the killer #creepypasta #creepypasta fanart #creepypasta art #creepypasta jtk #jtk fanart #art wip #also i'd like to point out that i love reading the tags u add to the reblogs lol #they're v fun to read ilove them #even tho i am abit concerned for some of you guys 😦 #oh yea btw. for whoever cares about the going ons of my life. i also got a bridge piercing afew days ago!!!! #im like. so happy. :] #also i finally ordered a binder and it should arrive like sometime next week?????@?! yippeee!!!! #ok thats all ty for reading lmao