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imgonnagetkilledbynutstink · 2 years

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Everything At Once

Summary: Jake gets overwhelmed and his bf helps him through it

Notes: i ended up going with Zeke for the name of the bf, sorry i asked for help and was given it and didn't use it lol

Warnings: overstimulation, harmful stimming/very minor self harm, swearing

Pairing: Jake Kiszka x Male OC

✧･ﾟ: *✧･ﾟ:*✧･ﾟ: *✧･ﾟ:*✧･ﾟ: *✧･ﾟ:*✧･ﾟ: *✧･ﾟ:*

Josh gets home from the store at around 1 pm-ish and heads to the boys shared kitchen to put things away. Sam is sitting at the island reading a magazine and drinking a glass of wine. "How was your adventure" Sam asked. "Adventure-ey. It was like a blood bath trying to get to the fucking tortillas" Josh answered. Sam giggles and drew his attention back to his magazine. Jake walks in with mud on his hands and knees. "Woah what happened to you?" Sam asked. "I was gardening. I thought i told you i was doing that?" Jake answered. Sam shrugged "yeah probably".

"Well im gonna go get a shower. Do you guys mind cleaning up the kitchen? Ive been cleaning and doing stuff all day and i would like a break. Plus i'd like the house to look nice before Zeke gets here" jake asks, accidentally wiping mud on his cheek. "Anything for my dear brother and his dear boyfriend~" Josh says dramatically and Jake walks out of the kitchen. Sam sets down his magazine to actually be productive and grabs a wash cloth. He starts cleaning the counters while Josh puts things away. Josh starts cleaning dishes while Sam wipes down the counters.

Randomly Sam feels a small splash on water on his face and looks at Josh who has a mischievous smile. "What the fuck was that?" Sam asks, glaring at his older brother. Josh shrugs. "Just some warm water. No biggy". Sam rolls his eyes and continues cleaning. Suddenly he feels it again and gently hits Josh with the rag he was cleaning with. Josh gasps, extremely offended by this. He grabs the rag from Sam and starts chasing him around the kitchen with it. Its all fun and games until Sam slips and falls. Then they hear a loud crash.

They realize that the full bottle of wine that Sam had taken out earlier has now fallen, broke, spilled and shattered all over the floor. Luckily there was no carpeting around but it was still BAD. Josh quickly throws the rag down on the floor to soak up the wine and gets Sam away from the broken glass. While hes trying to find the broom he realizes that now the sink is overflowing and getting water all over the floor. He turns it off and starts to drain it but before he can get back to the wine accident he sees Jake standing outside the kitchen staring at the two and the scene they had created.

The worst part was that Jake didnt even seem mad. Just shocked and a little confused. He just stood there, eyes very wide at the situation. Josh and Sam felt ashamed. Like puppies with their tails between their legs. Josh could tell how tired Jake was when he asked them to clean up which was why he didn't complain at all. And now here they are, possible water damage and glass all over the floor. "Jake, im sorry, we got distracted and one thing left to another and- are you okay?" Josh asked when he realized Jake looked a but zoned out.

Jake was taking deeper breaths and looking at the floor but still didnt look angry persay. There was too much going on. The glass all over the floor, the sound of the bottle shattering was still ringing in Jake's ears, music from the record player was still going in the background, the lights felt to bright, Jake still felt dirty even though he had just gotten out of the shower. He just walks away and goes upstairs to his room. Sam and Josh look at each other and Josh sighs.

He returns to the scene behind him and continues to clean. "Should we say something to him?" Sam asks, putting on flipflops before reentering into the room and grabbing paper towels. "I dont know... but either way i dont think he want to hear from us specifically" Josh answers from the floor. They hear the front door open. They dont know if its Zeke or Danny but neither is good right now. Of course its Zeke who walks into the living room and puts his coat up. "Hey guys! Sorry im late, traffic was a bitch-... what the fuck?" Zeke says as he walks into the kitchen. Josh sighs in defeat once again. "Jake told us to clean up and stuff got out of hand"

"Where's Jake?" Zeke asks with a bit of worry. "Hes upstairs. I think hes prettyyyyy mad at us right now..." Sam says. Zeke sighs and heads upstairs to check on him. He gets up to Jake's door and knocks gently. From the inside he only hears a quiet groan. "Is that an 'enter'?" Zeke asks softly. He waits a second and peaks his head in, having no plans of staying if Jake doesn't want him too. All he sees is a lump of blankets and pillows on Jake's bed. Zeke walks in, closing the door behind him and sits on the bed next to Jake. He gently rubs what he hopes is Jake's back or tummy. "Baby, its okay to come out. What do you need?" Zeke asks as softly as possible. Jake doesn't answer but maneuvers so that hes still under the blanket but his head is on Zeke's chest. He hugs and rocks Jake gently for a while until Jake pokes his head out from the blankets.

Jake anxiously kicks off the remaining pillows and blankets and holds onto Zeke's shirt. "Whats wrong, bubba?" Zeke asks while gently petting Jake's head. "Too much... all of the stuff is a lot" Jake says weakly. "To much of the all of it". Zeke nods understandingly. He notices Jake scratching his own arms and it leaving slight red marks behind. Zeke gently moves Jake's hands away from each other and kisses his arm where the scratches are. Jake seems to not be a fan of Zeke restraining him at all but he likes the kisses so the squirms are to a minimum. Eventually Zeke lets him free but watches him closely to make sure he doesnt do it again.

He moves Jake into his lap and holds him closely while Jake gently plays and messes with Zeke's shirt instead of picking at himself. While they're cuddling there, Jake hits Zeke a couple times in the chest. It doesn't hurt and Zeke knows its not meant to hurt him so he doesn't mind. Eventually he sees Jake start to smile ever so slightly which is of course a good sign that hes starting to calm down a little. Zeke holds Jake's hands in his own and starts gently shaking and waving them around, encouraging Jake to move on his own and get his wiggles out. But for the time being Jake is just softly giggling while Zeke plays with his hands.

Eventually Jake gets the point and starts flapping his hands around on his own. Though its not as needed for him, Zeke does it with him to make him feel less alone in doing it. Soon they hear a knock on the door. Zeke looks to Jake for permission to let his brothers in. Jake nods and gets up to let them in himself. Josh gently hugs jake when he walks in. "Im sorry, i should have taken it more seriously. I knew you needed our help and i let things get crazy. Its my fault and im sorry" Josh apologized with his face in Jake's shoulder. "No no no no... im not mad, its not your fault" Jake said, still having some issue speaking and sounding weak which made Josh feel even worse. Josh continued the hug a bit longer and pulled away. "You're really not upset with us?" He asked. Jake shook his head. "No. Im okay" he said with a soft smile. "I'll help you guys clean up whatevers left if you need it" Zeke offered. "Nah its our mess, we'll deal with it. You should be able to spend your time with Jake " Josh said smiling and walked out.

Zeke kissed the top of Jake's head gently and picks him up to bring him back to the bed. They lie down together after Zeke turns off the lights apart from a lamp for dim lighting. He watched Jake happily. Looking at him was one of Zeke's favorite hobbies. He was just too perfect not to admire whenever he could. Especially his smile, which was luckily present. Jake looks at Zeke and kisses his cheek which makes him blush and giggle a bit. Jake felt safe and calm, and even though earlier was stressful, hes okay now and thats all that matters.

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aciid-eater · 4 years

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“I’m in love” Eijiro Kirishima x reader

Summary: When a spider brings two lovely souls together.

Warnings: Maybe a little cursing

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His soft footsteps against the wood floor was the only thing Kirishima could hear as he paced back to his room. His teeth poked at his bottom lip as he named the doors along the walls.

Uraraka, Jiro, Sero, Aoyama, Y/n, Bakug-

Kirishima’s stopped dead in his tracks as a muffled shriek slipped from under y/n’s door. He stood still for a moment, not sure if he should go in or walk away.

His confusion was short lived when her door swung open and she frantically pulled him inside. Hiding behind him, she pressed herself between his broad shoulders and the door.

Immediately Kirishima’s body stiffened and his face flushed. One of his large hands came up to grasp the one on his shoulder as he surveyed her room. There were murals all over the walls. The paintings were beautiful, but obviously unfinished, he could tell she had been working by the numerous bottles of paint and paint brushes all over the floor and table.

“What wrong L/n?” He was confused as to what could have her of all people so spooked, expecially since they had only moved into the dorms two days ago.

“There’s a spider, on the window seal” she whispered, gripping his shoulder. It was dark outside, but under her lights he could see the shilloute of the little creature.

The red head surpressed his initial chuckle, moving away from the girl’s hold. He grabbed a paper towel from the roll on her table and picked up the spider, killing it in the process. He moved to throw it away but was stopped by y/n’s voice.

“No don’t throw it away! Flush it!” He laughed, bringing the paper towel into her bathroom, which was also littered in paintings.

Once the spider was long gone, kirishima emerged from the bathroom, taking a long look around the room.

“Thank you, you’re a life saver.” Y/n exhaled goofily.

“No problem, that’s what a hero does!” Kirishima smiled.

“It looks awesome in here, are you gonna finish it all tonight?”

Y/n cracked her neck and sighed.

“That’s the plan. You can stay here and watch if you’d like.” She replied, sitting down in a chair that was facing the wall. Kicking off his shoes, the red head followed suite, sitting cross legged on her bed and watching her work.

——-

“Kiri, you have big hands, come here.” She mumbled.

“Huh?” He asked, getting up to stand at her side. Kirishima wastched as y/n dumped a couple bottles out on the table.

“Dip your hands in it and splatter the wall as best as you can.” She smiled.

“Y/n i don’t think I can-“ y/n cut him off by dipping her finger in red paint and dragging it across the side of his face.

“You can’t mess up, I trust you.” The red head huffed with a smile, slowly dipping his palm in paint and making a slick hand print on her neck.

“Kirishima! Oh it is on!” Y/n giggled.

_________

“Hold still, hold still.” Y/n mumbled, sitting up on Kirishima’s shoulders to finish a piece off on the bathroom ceiling. Her body and clothes were covered in dried painted hand prints, and Kirishima was no better.

“I’m almost done, don’t worry.” She stated.

“Take your time L/n, you’re not heavy at all.” He replied, hands still on her thighs. Y/n stopped for a moment to look down. The two met eyes for a moment and immediately turned away, faces red.

————

“Now curl your wrist, just like that.” Y/n mumbled, her hand over Kirishima’s as he drew a butterfly on the space above her bed. He was sitting on his knees at the head of her bed, y/n snuggled tightly between the headboard and his chest. He breathed in deeply, smelling the oh so sweet smell of her shampoo, he liked it. Kirishima immediately exhaled when he finished, silently greatful he didn’t ruin anything on the wall of her room.

“Good job! It looks great.” Y/m smiled.

“Now sign your name at the bottom so I can tell people the infamous Red Riot did a drawing in my room.”

________

“Staying still, eyes closed, let the world just past me by!” Kirishima sang, holding a paintbrush like a microphone.

“Shhhh, it’s past midnight, if Bakugou comes in here I’m letting you handle it!” Y/n giggled, painting the back of her door.

Kirishima ignored her,grabbing her wrists and pulling her to his chest.

“Dance with me L/n!” He giggled. Y/n rolled her eyes, but nevertheless she danced and mumbled the song along side her friend.

_________

“It tickles.” Kirishima giggled, eyes closed as y/n held his chin.

“If you sneeze I’m gonna kick you.” Y/n cackled, running a paintbrush over his nose.

“That’s animal abuse!”

“You’ll be fine!......There I’m done.” She mumbled, leaning back and looking over her work. She had painted whiskers and a nose onto his pale skin, successfully making him look like a cat.

“Don’t I look, purrr-fect?” He smiled, winking at her.

“Oh my gosh get outtt!” She laughed.

________________

As things began to tone down, Kirishima watched, listening as y/n hummed along to the smooth music playing in the background. He studied her face, the way her eyebrows scrunched with every flick of her paintbrush. Then his eyes trailed over the mural on the wall. It was a painting of a woman with flowing hair surrounded in roses and petals.

“I hope I’m not distracting you, but what are you painting on that wall?” Y/n smiled, making Kirishima blush.

“Aphrodite. She’s she’s the Greek goddess of love, beauty, pleasure, passion and procreation. Shes most beautiful woman who’s ever lived.”

“Really?” He hung on her every word, sighing as her smooth voice bounced in his head.

“They say if you ever have the honor of being visited by her, she’ll look like the most beautiful person in your eyes. Everything you find attractive will be realized into one person, even things you didn’t know you liked. Some people even claimed that their spouses were Aphrodite, but I assume they were just madly in love.”

His gaze was glued to her face now. Memorizing the way her lips pursed and her eyes lit up when she spoke. There was something about her that he couldn’t put a finger on. He felt...special around her. Like when he was with her he really was someone important.

“Im little curious....what would your Aphrodite look like?” She asked, catching his gaze. The red head blushed, bright read, fumbling with his words. Y/n giggled, turning back to her wall and continuing.

“Forget it, it’s a silly question.”

He didn’t have the guts to say she was his Aphrodite.

_______

“Aaaand we’re done!” Y/n sighed, leaning back dramatically on her bed. Kirishima chuckled as she stretched, looking over all their work. There wasn’t a bit of the room that was visibly it’s original color.

“It looks amazing, you’re really talented!” He praised.

“Nah it just looks good because I had you here, she mumbled, her eyes closed. The two sat in comfortable silence for a long while. So long that Kirishima could have sworn she was asleep.

“What time is it?” Y/n asked, finally breaking the silence.

“Almost 5am.” He replied.

“Wanna watch a studio Ghibli movie?” Y/n asked with a devious smirk.

“Of course”

____________

It wasn’t until the sun was peaking through the window and y/n was fast asleep against his bare chest did Kirishima finally pick up his phone.

‘Guys? I need help.’

Bakubro: What did you do this time, shitty hair?

Flex Tape: what’s up bro?

Pikachu: You’re not in jail right?

Strawberry Lemonade: Jail Trip Time!

‘Nono, I’m not in trouble.’

‘It’s just I’

‘Okay so, I spent the night with L/n last night.’

Strawberry Lemonade: 😏

Pikachu: WAIT DONT TELL ME YOU—

Bakubro: SO THATS WHY IT WAS SO FUCKING LOUD

‘WAIT NO WE DIDNT DO ANYTHING’

‘I just helped her paint.’

Flex Tape: Laaaamee

Strawberry Lemonade: Then whats the problem?

‘I think I’m love.’

#eijiro kirishima x reader #eijiro x reader #eijiro kirishima #kirishima x reader #bnha kirishima

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shinahbee · 3 years

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My Suha

Hello! Here is another manhwa feature that I wrote about in my December favorites but i put it under the section where I discussed certain scum antagonists that you will find while reading manhwa especially the ones with mature content. I really like the story overall even though it is for more mature audiences there are subject matters in there that can be relatable to young adults that have been through these situations and that's what I think a good story should include. This story does include sexual abuse and trauma so read it at your own risk , this is not something to glorify but to relay a message that stuff like this happens in reality. I've been reading a lot of darker stories and this is one of the first ones I've read that really left an impression on me. MANHWA SUMMARY: "A skillful secretary by day and choosy cruiser by night, Suha is a young professional who’s in search of some no-strings-attached action. He hasn’t had much luck lately, though, since a handsome face doesn’t always match what’s in a guy’s pants. This might be why he finds himself wondering about his dreamboat boss, Director Park Jiwoon. But there’s no way he can mix business with pleasure… That is, until Jiwoon and Suha run into each other in the gay bar bathroom."

this story mainly focuses on the relationship between jiwoon and Suha, and it is not abusive and very loving in fact,I'm glad that they show the contrast between how suha's previous relationships don't work out because of his trauma and how jiwoon despite being an unwanted heir in his grandmother's eyes was able to give love and protection to the person that matters to him the most. You can gradually see how suha will open up to jiwoon even if a little since he can't ever fully say that he can trust a person, he still wants to believe that he can trust jiwoon and one day give his heart to him fully. I have no doubts that he has feelings for jiwoon he is mainly just being cautious with the whole situation, and I agree with him on that point cause you’ll never know what happens if your relationship doesn’t work out and you don’t want to be too dependent on your partner that you have nothing left, so I understand his view point and why he is so cautious, but also understand that there is trauma involving his past relationships that lead him to a twisted perception of what love is...

So in my December favorites I've talked about some of the scum bags that you will come across while reading some of these manhwa some ranging form mild inconvenience to scum of the earth, there's this scum bag...I even forgot his name but the red haired dude in this story, who is the absolute worse and not only sexually abused Suha when they were younger and also emotionally scar both jiwoon and suha making them feel incapable of being loved. I didn’t get a good feeling form him when he was first introduced and I was right...lol.

I was like “ set that b*tch on fire!!” as soon as i found out what he potentially did.

But at least the comments section was in agreement. You know that one meme in death note where L and light are in the car and L climbs into the front seat and just stares at him...that’s what I was doing whenever this scum shows up.lol.

But in honestly it’s more like this....

they just recently finished season two so it ended for now until the spring, after reading the last chapter i felt very bad for both parties, it was a flash back to when they were younger and focuses on how jiwoon being unable to do anything for suha back when he was still young and suha suffering emotionally from the abuse from the red haired scum i believe, it wasn't disclosed yet as to what actually happened but from the flash backs throughout the series, I can guess that it was predicated on sexual abuse, so before this last chapter jiwoon was drugged by the scum in order to trap suha into leaving him since he didnt want to get in trouble with the grandma who doesn’t like him already. so scum blackmails suha into leaving with him saying that if he does what he wants then jiwoon will be left unharmed...spoiler..didn’t happen, as we all can guess and he had hired people to go rape jiwoon while he was drugged, while he was going to sleep with suha, and of course suha was able to fight back and rushed back to the hotel room to stop those people from rapeing jiwoon, thank god...

so all this to say is that after this traumatic experience, they both had a lot to think about in order to protect the other person, suha was going to confront the scum and convince him to leave them alone, but this family odreal is alot bigger than suha can understand and jiwoon knows the grandma (president ) would not take his side so it would be meaningless to confront the scum cause that is her actual blood-related grandson...as you know blood is thicker than water and she would probably try to cover up his shit even if commits rape and assault...i know shitty humans exist..needless to say this whole thing made jiwoon realize that since suha walked off with the scum the first time after being black mailed it will most likely happen again, so he is essentially going to quarantine him by making him work from home and survalencing him in order to take care of matters on his own. In actuality if this was done to someone it would seem possessive/ obsessive but that’s how jiwoon is if he knows something will hurt suha. and that’s where we are left off.

i'll have to wait and see what the creator has in store for us. I'm not looking forward to it but it really needs to be told in order for me to piece together the entire story line, with that being said I drew this fan art inspired by art that the creator posted on their twitter. I whole heartedly hope that jiwoon and suha will be this happy one day, i decided to just do simple background with roses since the theme that I tried to draw was " first date" hope you get what I'm trying to portray. lol.

i'll link the creators twitter here

twitter.com/chahyun__

please check out her twitter for her exclusive art and updates on the manhwa, and support her by reading it on Lezhin Comics!

if you like this and want to see more manhwa features please give this a like and comment down below if you have read it and what you think! please follow me on my social media below for future updates!

sheena

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SOCIAL MEDIA:

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Instagram: shinb_art

Deviantart: she-be.deviantart.com

Tumblr : shinahbee

#my suha #shounen ai #korean manhwa #yaoi #yaoi couple #manhwa couple #manhwa fanart #boys love #bl fanart #manhwa review #digital painting #digital art #anime and manga #manga review #manga fanart #manga illustration

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ravens-rambling · 5 years

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It’s time Thomas stops running

A/N: Hey so I got inspired randomly and wrote this. I’m not even sure if this is cannonly how it went down in the au but I was thinking of Spiderverse’s Peter and how he was scared to have kids with MJ, so he ran. Again not sure if this is something Thomas would actually do or not but idk. Also, I just realized this is my first fic with the perspective of Thomas! Would you look at that! Hopefully, I got MJ’s character right XD

Spiderverse Au belongs to @sugarglider9603 and @ask-spiderverse-virgil

summary: Thomas ran. He's run before and now he’s doing it again. He can’t help it, but last time...last time it ended a friendship. A relationship. And now he’s worried that once again he’ll ruin it. Can one of his sons calm him down enough to face his fears? Or will he run until he can’t run anymore... and find that once again he is alone?

WC: 2,49

ships: uuhhh idk what the ship name for Thomas and MJ is so yeah, Platonic LAMP, mentions of RED

warnings: Crying, hurt/comfort, mentions of anxiety attacks, mentions of breakup,

Tag List: @punsterterry @frostedlover @stormcrawler75 @mutechild @mycatshuman @panicattheeverywhere15 @thewinterbookqueen @analogical-mess @saddestlittlebabe

Oh, he screwed up, he screwed up badly. Now he’s screwed up a lot of things in his life. Let’s…not go down that gigantic list. The point is right here, right now, he messed up. And he’s not sure if he can fix it this time.

It’s been an issue for a while now if he had to be honest. It’s why his previous boyfriend broke up with him really. But recently it was brought up again and he’s not ready to face it yet again. He’s just not. Sure he has more of a support group going for him this time. But that just means there is more on the line.

More to be scared about. More to worry.

What is the thing he’s oh so worried about?

MJ wants to have a kid.

Now, now, he knows what you’re thinking. Oh, won’t that be good? That would mean taking it to the next step right? MJ loves you that much that he wants to share the love you two have.

That’s not the point.

The point is…is that he’s Spiderman. He’s a hero.

Which means he has a lot of villains that would love to hurt him and anybody he cares about. Also…hes not sure he’s ready for that.

If he had to be honest with himself…he's scared. Scared that he won’t make a good father. Scared that he screwed it up and hurts the kid or MJ, even more than he has right now of course. Scared that this kid would be dragged into his problems. Scared for so so many things.

He’s not sure he can take that on.

Now, of course, he does have well, sort of, four kids now. But he’s trained them well they know how to handle themselves if push comes to shove. But this kid? This kid would be defenseless. This kid won’t know anything about defending itself. MJ, on the other hand, …well he’s MJ he knows full well how to take care of himself. But would he be able to defend their kid if something happens and he can’t get there in time?

He’s not sure…

Now he is not doubting MJ at all. He is strong. Stronger than Thomas could ever dream of being. He has dealt with so much over his life that it puts Thomas’s life to shame. That’s not his worry his worry is the fact that his enemies are supervillains which means they have powers.

No matter how strong MJ is he isn’t superpowered strong.

And heaven forbid if something happens to MJ and their kid? Oh… He doesn’t know if he can take it. It would crush him. Worse than losing the kiddos. Worse than losing himself. He just…can't do that. He can’t risk that.

So what did he do? He ran.

Just like the last time this happened. He ran with his tail between his legs and didn’t look back.

Go on you can say it, he knows it, he’s a coward. A coward that is too scared to face the music. A coward who always runs. A coward who can’t even face his emotions. All he does is run. Run from bad guys. Run from love. Run from a slim chance at a happy life for him. Run from a family.

The last guy he was with…didn’t like that. He didn’t like that he ran and kept running. No… He got tired eventually and kissed their relationship goodbye.

That’s what’s gonna happen with the two right? MJ will realize he is tired of running after him, tired of making sacrifices for a guy that’s not worth the trouble, and finally, move on. Maybe it’s for the best… Maybe…this love thing won’t work out, in the end, no matter what he does…

Yeah… Maybe not…

Thomas glanced down to his phone with another sigh, the same ringtone he has for MJ filling the night air. He breathed out as he ran a hand through his hair and looked back out to the city lights, ignoring it.

Eventually, he’ll get tired of chasing after him…

Eventually-

“There you are.”

With dark, tired, almost teary eyes he looked over his shoulder to see the familiar figure of a white dressed teen with his hoodie up… Virgil…

Maybe he’ll get tired of him eventually too, right?

Maybe he’ll realize he isn’t such a good mentor or dad figure… Maybe they all will realize that someday. Cause that’s what he is… A disappointment.

“Dude? Dude, Earth to Thomas.”

Thomas jumped as he blinked and suddenly Virgil was a lot closer than before but he still kept his distance, thankfully. Slowly Virgil smiled and walked closer to him, and even more slowly took a seat beside him his feet dangling off the edge.

And with that, he took off his mask letting the hood fall down and looked over to Thomas with a small smile his hair all over the place and a worried look in his dark brown eyes, “What’s up, dad? MJ is pretty worried after you stormed off. Well, actually that’s an understatement more like frantically calling between all our phones and yelling our ears off when we pick up.”

His heart pricked with worry and anger at himself at hearing how frantic MJ is. He’s never like that even when he isn’t home after a few nights…

Yeah… A runner…

“It’s just…” He sighed and looked back towards the city breathing in and out. Virgil was silent as he gathered up his thoughts. Thankfully he didn’t look at him as he did so simply looking out at the city as well. They sat there for a few minutes enjoying the silence. Until Thomas broke it again.

“You know I love you guys right?”

“Yeah? Like kids yes we know.”

“Do… Do you know why I broke it off with my last boyfriend?”

“He wasn’t good enough for you?”

“No… No that wasn’t it… Not at all…”

He took a shaky breath. Guess he’ll have to actually say it. He’s never really talked about this, not to a single soul…

“The reason was…he wanted to have kids… A-And I got scared. I got scared cause I knew the risks and I wasn’t ready. I’m still not…”

“And MJ wanted that? To have kids?”

“Yeah… That’s what he wanted to talk about. He thought we could adopt. Even showed me some pictures of these cute kids from that nice orphanage but it just… I’m still not ready, Virgil. I don’t think I’ll ever be. And that’s not fair for MJ. He deserves better he deserves-”

“Now I’m gonna stop you right there, dad.”

The serious tone of the teen made Thomas whip towards him. He’s never heard Virgil this serious before. And oh boy the spark that went through the kid's eyes. Yep, he’s deadly serious.

“First off, self-deprecation is my thing. Don’t go stealing my thing. Second off, this is MJ. He will understand more than you know trust me, okay? He’s not like the last guy. If you are serious about never wanting kids MJ will never leave you just for that, you got it? MJ isn’t like that and never will be. Third off, who says you won’t be a good dad? I mean you have four teens right? And yes,” He cut off Thomas as he opened his mouth, “with you being a superhero and everything there are even more risks. But honestly… Thomas,” His eyes grew teary at this one and he breathed out.

“You are the best dad anybody can ask for. You are the best boyfriend anybody can ask for. Most importantly,” He paused at this and smiled reaching forward to touch Thomas’s leg, “You are the best friend anybody could ask for.”

Oh… Oh dear…

Before Thomas could even help it or realize what he was doing he started crying hard. Tears tore down his cheeks. And before he could stop himself he lunged at Virgil his arms wrapping around the thin male as he sobbed harshly.

“There, there dad. It’s gonna be alright. Oh and I forgot to mention, this kid, they won’t have just you and MJ protecting them. They will have all four of us, I’m sure even Dolion, Remy, and Emile, will be on their asses if they so much as touch your kid. Understand?”

That made Thomas cry even harder. All his fears all his worries Virgil just presented on the table and he cleared through every one of them. He didn’t know where his son got so intelligent but oh boy was it something. Even he was impressed…

Yeah… He was impressed with his son.

They spent what felt like hours up on that tall building the background of the city and his cries the only thing that filled the air. Virgil holding him the entire time even rocking them gently and playing with Thomas' hair to ground him… Just like what he does during one of Virgil’s attacks…

Until finally his sobs quieted down until it was just hiccups. Very slowly he started breathing back to his normal self again.

“You okay there?”

“Y-Yeah… Sorry for crying on you.”

“Hey, 'tis payback for all the times I’ve cried on you. So we’re good now.”

Thomas chuckled as he drew away from their hug grimacing as he saw all the tears and snot on Virgil’s outfit, “Sorry about that. I’ll do the laundry this time.”

Virgil looked down and chuckled waving his hand, “No, it’s fine dad. I’m serious. Also, your laundry detergent isn’t very good anyways. I’ll take at least three loads to get this out if I leave it to you.”

“Yep… Sounds about right,” He laughed as he wiped his eyes then sighed again.

“Thank you, Virge… For all of that… It meant a lot to me.”

“Yeah, sure whatever. Don’t tell Roman I got all sentimental I’ll never hear the end of it. Now,” He put back on his mask as he stood up. Thomas glanced up to see him extending a hand and though he couldn’t see his lips he could tell he was smiling.

With his own smile, he took it and stood up.

“You have a boyfriend to talk to,” And with that, he did his signature two-fingered wave and ran off the side of the building. Thomas watched as he slingshotted through the night air.

He supposes he does…

With new found energy in his eyes, he put on his mask and started making his way towards MJ's place. Though before he does he's got to make one detour…

Once he got to his door he breathed out a nervous breath. Would MJ be angry at him for just leaving quickly like that? Would he forgive him for just bailing? Oh, maybe this was a mistake… Maybe-

The door opened and his heart skipped a beat as he saw the familiar orange curls and his freckled face, though his heart stopped for a completely other reason when he saw the tear stains going down that same freckled cheeks.

“Thomas! Oh god. I was so worried,” And before Thomas could even take a breath again he was practically tackled to the floor in a hug and his eyes pricked with tears once again, “Don’t ever do that again! I thought you were mad at me! Or worse that you got hurt somewhere since you weren’t answering any of our calls. Oh god were you hurt? Please tell me you weren’t hurt. Oh god-”

“MJ. MJ, I’m fine I promise,” Thomas chuckled.

“Good… Okay… You don’t look like your injured… Yeah…” Now he was backing up from the hug tears still coming down. Then he huffed and smacked his arm playfully and gently.

“Ow! What was that for?”

“For making me worry you selfish little prick! I thought you were angry at me and never coming back. God… Thomas, I thought I would never see you again…”

And if that didn’t break Thomas' heart he didn’t know what would. He felt like his heart was bleeding as he gulped.

“Well… Virgil helped me… And… We have something to discuss… Well, a lot of things but first…” He showed the huge flower bouquet that was hidden behind his back, it was covered with different colors of roses. All the colors of the rainbow. He smiled as he waited for the others reaction as he mumbled, “This is for making you worried. I’m sorry.”

MJ gasped loudly and started crying even harder which caused Thomas to suddenly get worried all over again.

“No, wait! You're not supposed to cry! Why are you crying? Do you not like it? I can return it! I just thought-”

“Shut up you gay disaster and kiss me.”

“Wait what-”

Before he could finish his sentence lips smacked against his with a loud thud noise. Thomas slowly closed his eyes as he wrapped his arms around MJs waist. They leaned into each other as the kiss ticked by. And slowly all the tension and nervousness that engulfed Thomas bones just a moment ago evaporated just like that. MJ wasn’t mad with him.

He came chasing after him…

And just as soon as the kiss started it ended and they both looked at each other their eyes sparkling with energy for each other. And they smiled and giggled.

“Okay, pretty boy get inside so we can talk and so I can put these roses in a vase. I’m sure the neighbors would love to hear more of our little conversation.”

“Yeah… That sounds lovely.”

With that MJ took Thomas free hand and led him inside. They certainly did have a lot to talk about, but Thomas wasn’t as scared or worried about it as before. He felt a certain calm through his body as he stepped into the house and closed the door.

Yeah...He's not running again.

“Did he go in?”

“Yes, Roman, he went in.”

“He did? Yay! I was so worried about him.”

“Yes, Pat you won’t shut up about it. Can we please get out of this bush now? Roman, you are on top of me.”

“Oh, hush nerd. You complain too much.”

“Now now boys don’t argue. Yes, Lo-Lo we can leave now.”

“Thank god.”

As the two teens left one grumbling while the other yelled at him the pastel wearing teen paused in his tracks.

“Virge?”

“Yeah?”

“Nice work. I knew you could do it.”

“Thanks, Pat.”

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splendidlyimperfect · 5 years

Link

It’s been thirteen years since Natsu and Gray met in a program for troubled youth - since they both fell apart and helped put each other back together. Now they’re married and happy, loving each other and the shared family they found. But the past doesn’t always stay past, and when the things that broke them come back into their lives, Natsu and Gray have difficult decisions to make - ones that could change their lives forever.

Chapter Summary: Natsu's dad contacts him, and Natsu isn't sure how to handle it.

Chapters (6/?): 1 | 2 | 3 | 4 | 5 | 6 Rating: Mature Relationships: Natsu Dragneel/Gray Fullbuster, Rogue Cheney/Sting Eucliffe, Laxus Dreyar/Freed Justine Characters: Natsu Dragneel, Gray Fullbuster, Rogue Cheney, Sting Eucliffe, Freed Justine, Laxus Dreyar, Wendy Marvell, Chelia Blendy, Ultear Milkovich, Lyon Vastia, Lucy Heartfilia Additional Tags: Alternate Universe - Modern Setting, Aged-Up Character(s), Hurt/Comfort, Angst, Fluff and Angst, Married Couple, Established Relationship, Emotional Hurt/Comfort, Past Child Abuse, Implied/Referenced Self-Harm, Drug Addiction, Mental Health Issues, Foster Care, Family Issues, Tumblr: FTLGBTales, Grief/Mourning, Childhood Trauma, Bipolar Disorder, Adoption, Families of Choice, Nonbinary Character, Trans Character, Genderfluid Character, Forgiveness, Absent Parents, they're really in love but are sometimes dumb, Natsu is a stubborn shit Series: Part 14 of the only hope for me is you, Part 3 of if you jump i’ll break your fall

—–

Three days later, Natsu got a reply. He was coming back from the washroom at three in the morning when he saw his phone flashing with a message and picked it up.

Wow… I don’t even know what to say. Hey, I guess?

Natsu sat down heavily on the bed, staring at the words before opening the message window. Neelan was online – the little green dot beside his name made Natsu’s stomach twist.

He looked over at Gray, who was fast asleep with Happy curled up next to him. A few stray hairs fell in Gray’s eyes and Natsu reached over, gently brushing them away and running his finger down Gray’s cheek.

Gray mumbled something, shifting onto his side and pulling the pillow closer to him.

“Hey, Snowflake,” Natsu whispered. “You awake?”

The only response was a soft snore, and Natsu looked back at his phone uncertainly. He shuffled until his back was pressed up against Gray’s legs but turned so that the light from his phone screen wasn’t hitting Gray’s face.

hey, he typed, then sat there, thumbs hovering over the keys for a moment before hitting ‘send.’ His stomach clenched and he reached out for Gray, ready to wake him up, but his phone buzzed again.

I’m sorry it took me so long to respond.

Natsu wished he could hear the emotion behind the words as they travelled across the screen. Was Neelan angry? Happy? Frustrated? Did he want to have this conversation, or was he ready to tell Natsu to leave him alone?

Another message popped up. How are you? You probably have lots of questions.

Natsu stared at his phone, trying to figure out how to answer.

yeah i guess, he replied eventually. i didnt think id look for u but my foster sister found her mom and it made me think. u live pretty close. its kinda weird.

Neelan’s reply came quicker than Natsu expected. I never thought you’d want to look for me. You’re what, thirty now?

Natsu typed back a quick yeah, then tipped his head back and rubbed his face. A million questions were running through his mind, and he wasn’t sure what to say.

Continue reading on AO3

I’m not sure how to ask this, Neelan wrote, but… did you find a family? Were you okay after I left? I’m really sorry things turned out the way they did.

A spike of anger and hurt flared up in Natsu’s chest and he curled up in on himself, swallowing back the tears that suddenly pressed at the back of his eyes. How was he supposed to answer that?

im married now, he said eventually. he’s my family.

After he hit send, a wave of trepidation washed over him – he hadn’t even thought about the idea of coming out to his dad. It was something everyone in his life already knew, and nobody had ever had a problem with it. But what if his dad did? Natsu’s palms felt slick and he nearly dropped his phone when it buzzed again.

I’m really happy for you. I saw your last name was different. What’s his name?

Natsu exhaled, pressing his forehead to his knees and glancing over at Gray again. He ran his fingers through Gray’s hair, thinking again about waking him up. Everything felt surreal, like this was just a movie about somebody else who was hurt and broken and unsure.

gray, he replied. weve been maried for 10yrs.

Wow. Do you have any kids?

The question stung. Natsu wiped at his face before answering no, then set his phone face-down on the bed next to his pillow and ran his hands through his hair. Happy made a sound that was half-purr, half-grumble, and stretched himself out, then headbutted Natsu until Natsu scratched his back.

The phone buzzed twice and Natsu reached out for it, then drew back his hand, shaking his head. He was exhausted, suddenly, and the ache in his chest made him feel heavy.

He moved the phone off to the side of the bed, then curled back up under the covers, shifting until his back was pressed to Gray’s chest. Gray made a soft, sleepy sound, wrapping his arm around Natsu’s waist and pressing his face to the back of Natsu’s neck.

“I love you,” Natsu whispered, threading his fingers through Gray’s and squeezing his hand tightly. Gray tucked his knee between Natsu’s legs, and Natsu sighed, relaxing into the embrace. This was his home. No matter what his dad said, Natsu was safe here, with Gray.

Natsu meant to tell Gray as soon as they woke up the next morning, but when he yawned and rolled over, he realized he was alone in bed. The shower was running, and Natsu considered joining Gray, then looked over at his phone and groaned. He reached out and grabbed it but didn’t look at the screen, setting it face-down on his chest and taking a few deep breaths.

Why did you leave? he thought, rubbing his face. That’s all he needed to type. He didn’t even need to look at the other messages from last night – they weren’t important. All Natsu cared about was the answer. He didn’t need a relationship with someone who left.

Finally, he opened his notifications and stared at the messages from his dad.

I feel awful for leaving you, the first one read. I think about you a lot. I just couldn’t be a dad, and I know that’s hard to understand. I thought you’d be better off without me.

The next one said, I know it doesn’t make it better, but it hurt me a lot to leave you, too. I still have a picture of us in my wallet.

It was accompanied by a snapshot of a faded, worn picture of Neelan, looking like he was in his early twenties. In his lap was Natsu – maybe around three years old, chubby-cheeked with messy brown hair and a missing front tooth. He was gazing up at Neelan with bright eyes and a wide smile.

Natsu stared down at the picture. At first, all he could see was the adoring way he was looking at his father. Then he started picking up other details – the bracelet Neelan wore, the swingset in the background, a residue of sticky ice cream on little Natsu’s cheeks. Neelan’s hair was pulled back in a similar ponytail to the one Natsu had now, and he wore a hoodie with Magnolia’s hockey team logo on the chest.

Natsu swallowed, rubbing his face as a hot flush crept across his face and something unfamiliar bubbled in his stomach.

wow, he typed back after staring at the picture for several minutes. i dont have any picturs of me when i was little.

I have more, if you’d like to see them, came the almost immediate response. I’m sure you look a lot different now.

Before Natsu could think about what he was doing, he opened his photo folder and scrolled through them until he came to one that Gray had taken a few weeks ago, of Natsu with Sylvie at the night market in Richmond. They were both holding up cups of bubble tea and grinning at the camera.

Natsu clicked ‘share,’ and when the message popped up that the picture was sent, the bubbling in his stomach intensified. It took a few minutes for Neelan to respond, and Natsu was about to start panicking when the words finally popped up.

You look just like your mom.

“Hey, you.” Gray’s voice snapped Natsu out of his trance and he closed the app quickly, guilt filling his chest. Gray stood in the doorway to the bathroom in a t-shirt and boxers, damp hair hanging in his face, squinting over at Natsu. “How’d you sleep?” he asked, moving over to the bed and grabbing his glasses from the side table.

“Good,” Natsu said, shoving his phone under his pillow and shuffling over to Gray’s side of the bed. He caught Gray around the waist, pulling him in and kissing his cheek. “You been up for a while?”

Tell him, Natsu thought. Just say it. ‘I found my dad.’

“Yeah, I just got back from the pool,” Gray said, wrapping his arms around Natsu’s shoulders. “I was gonna wake you up, but you were snoring, and you looked like you needed the sleep.”

Natsu snorted, then tugged Gray down onto the bed with him until they were curled up together and Natsu could run his fingers through Gray’s hair. Gray hummed happily, closing his eyes and shifting closer.

“I…” Natsu swallowed, forcing himself not to look back at his phone.

Gray tipped his head back to look at Natsu. “What’s wrong?” he asked, and Natsu’s heart sank as Gray’s face quickly transformed from content to concerned. It was that look, the one that made Natsu feel safe and helpless at the same time. This Gray was cautious, and if Natsu told him, he’d start asking questions Natsu couldn’t answer.

Is he sober? How did you find him? He could be lying. He left you. It was probably drugs. Be careful.

“Nothin’,” Natsu said, shaking his head and kissing Gray’s forehead. “Still tired, that’s all.” Gray frowned, but before he could ask any more questions, Natsu poked him in the ribs and said, “y’know what would wake me up?”

“What?” Gray asked, giving Natsu an unimpressed look and swatting away his finger good-naturedly. Natsu forced himself to smile.

“Pancakes.”

Natsu didn’t check his phone again until he got to work. He gave Sting a quick wave through the back window, then headed to the office, dropping his bag under the desk and taking a deep breath before opening his messages.

There were three pictures from Neelan. One was of him holding Natsu as a tiny baby, almost too small to be real; another was of Natsu as a toddler playing at the beach.

The last one was of a young, pretty girl, maybe sixteen or seventeen, with long, black hair and brown skin just like Natsu’s. She was sitting on the end of a slide at a playground, toes dug into the sand, laughing with her head thrown back as the sun set in the background.

Natsu let out the breath he’d been holding, touching the picture carefully with shaky fingers. The girl was so young and looked so pretty, and all Natsu could think about was that she was dead.

“Who’s that?”

Natsu nearly dropped his phone when Sting appeared behind him, looking at the picture over his shoulder. Part of Natsu wanted to close it or make something up, but he couldn’t stop himself from whispering, “my mom.”

Sting froze behind him, then touched Natsu’s arm gently. Natsu took a shaky breath, turning around slowly and slumping into the office chair.

“Are you okay?” Sting asked gently, crouching down in front of Natsu. “Hey, Natsu, look at me,” he said gently. “C’mon, breathe.”

Natsu shook his head, relinquishing his grip on the phone as Sting took it from him and set it on the desk. He looked over at the picture again, taking an unsteady breath before exhaling sharply and looking down at Sting.

“I found my dad,” he said, the words spilling out of him. “He—I looked on Facebook, I’m so stupid, I don’t know why I didn’t do it before, and he lives in Victoria, he’s been… fucking, two hours away this whole fucking time, and I didn’t even think, and then he said he was sorry and he missed me and…” He paused, when whispered, “I look like my mom.” He didn’t even realize it was crying until his vision got burry, and he wiped his face with the back of his hand. “She looks h-happy.”

Sting squeezed Natsu’s knee reassuringly. “That’s a lot,” he said. “Do you want me to call Gray?”

“No,” Natsu said quickly, taking a deep breath as he tried to get his pounding heart under control. “No, he’s at—he’s in a meeting. I’m fine, I’m okay. I was just surprised, I didn’t think…”

“How long have you guys been talking?” Sting asked, standing up and grabbing the stool from the other side of the room. He pulled it over to the desk and settled down on it across from Natsu.

“Just since last night,” Natsu said, picking at his nails. “Or, early this morning, I guess.”

He reached out slowly and picked up his phone again, staring at the picture of his mom before flipping back to the other ones. “I’ve never seen pictures of myself as a kid,” he said softly.

“Shit, you were tiny,” Sting said, leaning in to look at the one of Neelan holding Natsu. It was taken in a hospital, and Natsu was lying on Neelan’s chest, barely bigger than the hands that held him. Neelan was staring down at him, and he looked…

“He loved me,” Natsu whispered. Neelan was smiling in the photo, eyes wide and awed and very much enamored with the tiny baby in his arms. Something complicated grew in Natsu’s chest – a feeling that was part pain and longing, and part relief.

“Why don’t you take the day off?” Sting suggested, squeezing Natsu’s arm. “I’m sure Gray’s meeting will be over soon. You wanna text him?”

Natsu nodded numbly, the words washing over him as he stared at the picture. His dad had loved him, had wanted him, had held him and looked at him like Natsu was his world.

So what had happened?

#fairy tail #ftlgbtales #ftlgbtfics #gratsu #gray x natsu #gray fullbuster #natsu dragneel #fanfic #new chapter #update #my fic

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lulutellcr · 5 years

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( @axeltellcr )

The moment Luna’s eyes fluttered open it was the beginning of a weird morning. Her expression said it all as her eyebrows furrowed as the realization that it was her cousin beside her in bed — not Axel — mixed with the sudden throb of a headache. It was pretty much a given that the majority of the group would be some degree of hungover. She was the first one awake, still completely thrown off and in a fog. It wasn’t until she made herself coffee that it all hit her and a soft smile spread across her lips. Today was the day. Although Luna and Axel already acted like they were married and really didn’t need a contract to solidify their relationship, it was something they both wanted. They wanted to promise each other forever. They were each other’s endgame.

Not long after her, the rest of her bridal party woke up one-by-one. Shortly after that, the “glam squad” arrived as well as the photographer and videographer. And after them was the company helping set up the reception area in the backyard. Everything was seamless and going exactly as planned and that calmed Luna quite a bit, but not enough to go unnoticed. “You know everything’s going to be alright, right?” her aunt, Kayla, calmly voiced from the makeup chair. Luna’s gaze tore from the window that looked into the yard and landed on Kayla. Although Heidi was now her full time mother, Kayla was the one she confided in when Luna needed “motherly” advice. “Like, everything’s going as planned,” her aunt spoke over the movie streaming the background, “Even if it wasn’t, that wouldn’t take anything away from your’s and Axel’s day.” Lu let out with a guilty sigh. “Go ahead, sue me for wanting to have a nice party. We both know you’re right anyway.” All Kayla did was roll her eyes playfully and let out with a chuckle which Luna echoed.

Lu was the last one to be done up. Probably for the sake of trying to keep everything intact, but pushing the envelope like that didn’t help her underlying anxiety. Luna sat cross-legged in the chair, only clad in her lingerie and silk robe with “bride” in calligraphic letters embroidered on the back. As the artists had their way with her hair and makeup, she zoned out, despite the efforts of the others trying to keep the energy high. However, when she zoned out it was like her mind turned into an iMovie slideshow of every memory she had with Axel starting all the way back to their first conversation. Umbrella hats and sunglasses. Raybans to be specific. Because that’s what Axel exclusively wore — Raybans. She briefly recalled the pub crawl, but she reminisced all of the highs in their relationships, barely acknowledging the lows. Surprisingly enough, what stuck in her mind was when Axel first told her he loved her. It was so easy, nonchalant, but still powerful. It was so easy for him to just say it and that was something she would forever be jealous of.

In what felt like less than an hour altogether, it was time for Luna to slip into her dress. and so she did with the help of her cousin and Catalina. As soon as she slipped into it she rushed over to the full length mirror. The photographer found their shot, but Luna paid them no mind. The dress was the last thing in the way of being at the other end of that aisle with Axel. A wide grin was on her face as she looked at her reflection. She turned to the small crowd behind her seeing a couple of them with tears in their eyes, but they clearly tried to hold them back for the sake of their makeup. “Well, I don’t know about you guys, but I’m ready to go get married.” she stated simply before heading down the stairs to the party bus that awaited them. They all loaded on and headed towards Axel’s childhood home where the ceremony was meant to be held. Yes, Luna was the type to be over-the-top, but she and Axel wanted a small wedding. No more than thirty-five people, including the bridal party, were set to be in attendance. When they arrived, she was the first one off the bus and her father, big ol’ Mason Hayes, was there to greet her. He greeted her with a look that expressed pure happiness. His first baby and the one he worried for the most was about to get married. “God, you look absolutely stunning, Lulu,” Mason complimented through a knotted throat before kissing her forehead and pulling her into the tightest hug he had ever given her. Luna held onto him for as long as she could, laying her head on her father’s chest. He kissed the top of her head once more as he whispered, “Let’s go. He’s waiting for you.”

The moments following felt like a blur. It was mainly Heidi finessing the two of them around the house without seeing each other, trying to maintain the classic wedding tradition. It wasn’t that Luna cared about that tradition, but Heidi seemed to and she was okay with following along. Soon enough, they were setting up the bridal party to walk down the aisle before Luna. Mason found her again, this time sticking with her. He drew in a sharp breath before looking to Luna, “Are you ready, angel?” he inquired, reaching out his hand to help her up out of the seat she was in. She sighed a happy sigh, looking to her father with a grin. “I’m as ready as I’ll ever be,” she said confidently as she took her father’s hand. They walked to their spots in the queue to walk down the aisle, slowly following to their next mark as each bridesmaid made their way down the aisle in the Teller’s backyard. As it got for them to be next, Mason looked to Luna and chuckled, shaking his head gently. “You’re going to be surprised. You’re gonna love it.” he said just as the cue for them to walk ahead. Luna’s initial look was confusion at her father, but as the beautiful instrumental played in the background her eyes peeled from her father and landed on a freshly trimmed Axel. She stopped in her tracks and looked at Axel from a distance. “Oh my God?!” she exclaimed through a bit of laughter, her hands instinctually resting on her cheeks as she was slightly slouched from laughing.

#( axel. )#( let's get fucking married. )#hey hi hello SORRY THIS SUCKS

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stormpainter · 5 years

Text

==>Last Sunday night

Wicked Last Monday at 3:55 AM ((I am claiming this room)) She wasn't waking. Wicked lay Saness down on his couch and chewed on his lip while he tucked a blanket around her- her breathing was fine, and his magic told him there was no immediate Doom awaiting her, so he shouldn't be so worried. But he was.

Saness Last Monday at 4:29 AM Saness remains limp in what appears to be a perfectly peaceful slumber, face lacking all the tension her waking form had carried. The rise and fall of her chest remains steady and even too, no outward sign to show of Wicked's tampering. It's very likely that she'll stay this way for some time, relaxed and unconscious on her clade's couch.

Wicked, however, is in for another 'greeting' surge of twisting fate. This time it seems that the outcome presented by his opponent will come to pass if he stays put in his own home. It hasn't been very long since that initial push and the intent feels very much the same; if Wicked won't go looking for him, then he's going to come find Wicked.

Wicked Last Monday at 4:34 AM Wicked looked up from Saness, frowning at the feeling of the other god of doom, playing with his fate, he pushed back again, though he knew the other would simply persist, Wicked tried to tell fate that they would not meet tonight, but they both knew fate well. He hesitated, looking again at Saness and began to walk, taking himself up the winding staircase and out into the top of the light hive, and from there to the roof of it.

If someone must come, they will not be near her now.

This was a dangerous place for even another god to approach him, it was his own home, and he would protect it, foolishly or not.

Saness Last Monday at 4:56 AM It's very likely that Wicked is able to sense the rapid approach of the other doom god, who, upon realizing that Wicked had relented, set a swift course for Wicked's location. His presence will build like pressure coming to a head, the force of something unnatural that would potentially unnerve those unfamiliar, a tainted, eldritch shadow. He is not only of doom, but of the slithering black tentacles that line the Furthest Ring as well.

If Wicked stays put, he'll be able to see the troll in question when he arrives some short way off in an inky green light, and the overbearing pallor of his presence, of that altered fate, will slither back into repressed tension, no longer reaching out to locate Wicked.

Saness sleeps on peacefully while the becloaked invader descends unto the roof of the lighthive without a sound, outlined in the flickering bleak of grimdarkness and otherwise shrouded from sight. He makes no other move to approach, simply standing on the rooftop with Wicked, somewhere around two feet shorter than the massive nine-foot purpleblood.

Wicked Last Monday at 5:02 AM "I thought you'd be taller." Grimdark, that was interesting. There were parts of Wicked that yerned for the touch of the eldritch on his mind an heart again, for the direction and fiercity of force, for the highs and lows and everything that came with them.

{Should I address you like this} He asked casually in the language that drove some trolls to madness, the tongue of the horror terrors was one that had been whispered to him since before he was old enough to understand it.

It wasn't a wonder that his pan was a bit cracked, but at least it couldnt shatter further than it already had. Probably.

He hated the feeling of heaviness, of someone else stirring the fate of this sleepy world that had never known the game by moving through it.

Saness Last Monday at 5:13 AM It certainly looks and feels like grimdarkness, the insidious and creeping aura of the elders, but when the other troll speaks, it is entirely in a soft rasp of the common tongue, voice low.

"Since you ask, I prefer it this way."

It sounds like he hasn't spoken in some time, perhaps. It is rough, uneven. The hood of the unfamiliar troll tips and shifts in what appears to be a slow scan of the rooftop, though what he is looking at specifically cannot be easily discerned. That is, until he finally looks directly at Wicked, the rich rust of burgundy illuminated in the dark of his hood, eyes meeting eyes in the cool of night.

"She's here, isn't she? Why have you broken her so?"

Wicked Last Monday at 5:17 AM Wicked's eyes glowed in the darkness, they always glowed, though they didnt have to, he could make them go as pitch dark as the night itself if he wanted. He studied the burgondy eyes thoughtfully.

"I aint gonna pretend I don't know who you're talkin about but shes hardly fuckin broken. "

Saness Last Monday at 5:25 AM "You play a dangerous game and gamble much, sweeps and sweeps of effort, of planning-"

The other troll breaks off in a quiet wheeze, the following cough the loudest sound yet produced by the hooded rustblood. His posture is straight and rigid, distant and confident and firm in stark contrast to the way speaking seems to be such a laborious chore. The hood tips slightly following that raspy pause, the set of his eyes now at an angle suggesting he had tilted his head.

"What for?"

Wicked Last Monday at 5:28 AM "Shes had too much taken from her." He told him bluntly. "My powers say the path I started won't lead to doom, and open up many paths of fate for her. Shes lost even more than I have, she barely even knows herself." Saness Last Monday at 5:36 AM The repressed tension in the background slithers in agitation, the intruder's tone shifting to something distressed, something aggressive.

"It was for the best."

Wicked Last Monday at 5:38 AM Wickeds wings appeared, flicking behind him in the moonlight. An unconscious response to the power. He was a god too.

"Yeah? How the fuck did you decide that?" Saness Last Monday at 5:42 AM The stranger doesn't back down, doesn't move from his place nor adjust the harshness of his foreign rasping. His hood is no longer tilted, the beady glow of his glare fixed on Wicked.

"It was to protect her. You haven't given her anything, you've taken it all away with this careless venture, can't you see?"

Wicked Last Monday at 5:44 AM "Taken what away? Check the feel of fate here yourself, theres no doom on the horizon, nothin horrible comin from her powers, only possibility" He shook his head. "You think I woulda messed with it if they was dangerous to her?"

Saness Last Monday at 5:52 AM There's something manic in the way the intruder looks at Wicked, something not quite right, insistence and vision.

"She was so unhappy before, just like the others. You think you know that girl? Know her heart so well, know what she wants and needs, think those possibilities are worth more than her happiness? Her safety?"

Air rattles in his lungs as he draws a rough breath, hood on one side of his face shifting eerily. The aggressive tone is drifting away, the agitated aura going sluggish once more.

"What is it you want."

Wicked Last Monday at 5:55 AM "I know her pretty damned well, yeah. Had her up in my head for a time, part of her is still there. I want her to be happy, to know herself, to fuckin..I want to teach her to make little fairy lights." he drew his magic up holding it out as a little ball of light, then closing his hand around it. "- to share magic with her, shes so bright, and so curious about the magic, she wants to learn, and its all up inside her where she can use it, if some motherfuckers didnt get in there tamperin with who she is."

Saness Last Monday at 6:12 AM "The only meddler here is you. You seek to change her, don't you? To twist knots all throughout. She has been herself. I made sure of it, unlike the rest."

He scraggles out another cough, lifting a hand to point in Wicked's direction. It doesn't quite seem like this troll is listening, not entirely.

"You do not seem to understand, but that is alright. I do not begrudge you this mistake. You seem considerate, reasonable. You want what I want, you're just-" he wheezes, "-confused."

Wicked Last Monday at 6:16 AM "I don't wanna fuckin change her. I want her to be her best brightest self, to know herself even, you've taken parts of her away, alls I did was give it back. The fate I chose is one where everythin ends up alright, thats why I chose it." A squint

"...are you like. fuckin alright over there?"

Saness Last Monday at 6:26 AM He shakes his head, though it is not in answer to Wicked's direct question pertaining to his health. The rasp is just as low, just as wet and uneven, but something about the presentation now holds a hollow wealth of bleak emotion. His arm hangs back at his side.

"I remember... thinking the same... thing, back then. That is what I wanted, for all of us." He's distracted, perhaps, attention shifting back to the building they stood upon.

Wicked Last Monday at 6:30 AM "If you want that, let me shoot for it. I won't let nothin happen to her, shes clade to me, She aint gonna be goin through nothin alone or without any know how. I don't wanna fight you." He held his hands out, fingers spread, showing his lack of weapons metaphorically and literally. Saness Last Monday at 6:35 AM The unreadable black of the stranger's hood returns to Wicked's hand, and then to his face.

"What is your name?"

Wicked Last Monday at 6:37 AM "I don't give my name to motherfuckers dealin with the horror terrors. You can call me Wicked." He watched the other god thoughtfully.

Saness Last Monday at 7:03 AM "I don't deal- with horrorterrors."

It's venomous, the way he spits the words, but it dials back to the slow inkiness of before as quickly as the surge of bitter fury had risen.

"Wicked. Would you take me to see her?"

Wicked Last Monday at 7:04 AM "..Why so you can fuck her up again?" He crossed his arms.

Saness Last Monday at 7:07 AM "...I haven't seen her in a very long time, Wicked..." Wicked Last Monday at 7:08 AM "Shes restin, you don't need to see her, I don't want you hurtin her." He was deeply suspicious of this god, and his wings buzzed angrily behind him.

Saness Last Monday at 7:14 AM "I've known Psuede a lot longer than you have, I want- to make sure she is as well as you say- she is. I know why you hesitate. You and I, we are strangers, but it is not so- between she and I. Take me to see her, Wicked."

The troll before Wicked sounds deeply tired, the side of his hood fluttering strangely once more.

"I would not bring her to harm."

Wicked Last Monday at 7:18 AM "I don't trust you even a little bit, and this is my hive, you caint just fuckin show up and ask to be taken to see the person you fucked up in another motherfuckers hive." He frowned at the little weirdo.

Saness Last Monday at 7:24 AM Not that Wicked could see, but inside the hood the raspy stranger is now frowning. He doesn't seem willing to leave.

"...You wanted me to fight the host? Her host."

Wicked Last Monday at 7:26 AM "I can see that if you do she'll come to little or no harm" He shrugged. "It seemed like th' fuckin thing to do, I didn't realize you would catch me nudging that thread forward."

Saness Last Monday at 7:29 AM He doesn't deign to clarify the nature of his noticing, how he had nothing but time to devote to flitters of fate, how his own fate had remained unchanged for the longest time.

"You would send me to my death."

Wicked Last Monday at 7:32 AM "That aint true. We've fought horror terrors before, me and my session mates. They aren't infalliable things without limits or weaknesses. You feel Strong, if you were Fated to lose the horror terror would turn on us next and that wasn't gonna happen." He shook his head.

Saness Last Monday at 7:38 AM The clown is smarter than he looks, plenty in-tune with his aspect. The rustblood exhales, whispers and darkness in the air between them.

"What will you tell Psuede?"

Wicked Last Monday at 7:42 AM If there was anything that was ever truer about Wicked it was that he was in tune with his aspect, a little bit too much so, he could coast on just doing what felt right without participating in the decision making process if he wanted, and he used to.

"Is there somethin you want her to know?"

Saness Last Monday at 7:44 AM "Less," he answers simply.

Wicked Last Monday at 7:45 AM "So don't tell her you was here?" He tilted his head.

Saness Last Monday at 7:54 AM "I suppose not."

That makes very little difference to the stranger who had not given his name away, who remained shrouded from sight within the concealment of his cloak. What would Wicked say that Saness could hope to understand? A strange god had come around to ask about her? Tch.

"Since you will not let me- see her, and I did not come here in search of violence, you leave me- no choice, save to take action against the host, or to abandon her to your reckless design. I am not appreciative, of these circumstances, Wicked."

Wicked Last Monday at 7:58 AM "If I gotta fight a horror terror for her I'll fuckin do it. I won't be as good at it as you probably but I'll play dirty pool with it and it wont get her no matter what the fuck ends up happenin to me. She won't be happy with me if I get hurted, but sometimes thats the way shit is." He shrugged.

Saness Last Monday at 7:34 PM The stranger remains still and silent for a time, not even the hiss of his labored breathing to be heard as those burgundy eyes bore upward into the steady luminous purple of Wicked's. He doesn't blink, doesn't shift an inch, but there is the sense of something unfurling around them both, a rancid grip settling around the lighthive itself.

"We could team up."

It sounds perhaps innocuous, an offer to help Wicked defeat the horrorterror, but the statement is doubled as a coin: a threat that he could team up with the 'terror if he doesn't get his way. He says it so plainly, an offer, but the insidious grasp and the coiling pressure makes clearer the dual nature, in-tune as Wicked is.

Wicked Last Monday at 7:43 PM He pushed back against the power he felt, this was His. Bards were not a class without power behind them.

"You could." His voice was carrying in the night air , but still soft, quiet. He was unafraid, it was possible he just didn't feel fear the way he should. Horror terrors can really mess up how you respond to things.

"Will you? You seem t' want to help her. You seemed t be real insistant that you dont deal with terrors."

Saness Last Monday at 9:02 PM The pressure does not abate against Wicked's powerful retort, merely shifting around him like the vice of the sea. There is no current danger, only sickening potential leaking through the cracks, leeching into the land in lazy waves. The stranger does finally blink from within his hood; or at least, the burn of his eyes wink out for a moment, leaving only shadow before the two glowing embers rekindle themselves.

"...Assist me, in slaying Them."

It's the same choice, but this time the lick of dread is notably skewed; the rustblood will relent to a compromise as he offered before, but his preference is clearer now. He harbors no ill-intent toward Saness, he was just. Angry. At Wicked.

Wicked Last Monday at 9:05 PM Wicked was still a moment, He tried to ignore the press and shift of the other's power and intent, and tried to grasp at the threads around him. Weighing the possibility of his own doom, considering how likely that was.

Saness Last Monday at 11:09 PM The encounter with this troll, the other god of doom, has changed the flow of fate surrounding Wicked. New paths have opened ahead following his decision to delve into the potential of disabling those locks, two trolls tampering with the outline of the universe locked in opposition to one another, a dangerous mass out in the void that hungers and shifts as well.

As Wicked reaches out to get a more conscious understanding of his options, he might very well notice how the other troll slinks back, how he makes to alleviate the force of his presence so that Wicked can work more clearly. It has the weight of observation, surely, but the other god would see to it that Wicked has access to the full scope of his options without interference. Doom gods tend to look for the most favorable path, and he is confident in the force of his will that the 'best path' for Wicked will be of benefit to him as well. .

Ahead of Wicked, should he choose to go into combat with the stranger against the horrorterror that owned Saness, there is great and overbearing doom in store for Wicked specifically. The god before him plots his demise, and he does so openly. It is a pact of mutually-assured destruction, the endeavor of any promise of an Alternian highblood working with another of their kind. The odds of coming out unscathed from such a venture are incredibly miniscule, as Wicked would be working to combat a horrorterror directly as well as evade the traps of the lord of doom, his "ally," but there is a chance he could do so.

There is the option of relinquishing Saness to the stranger, which is the path of least doom for Wicked. Wicked would carry on unscathed, Saness would go stagnant and also technically unscathed; the subject of the horrorterror's influence, however, has a great many branching alternatives in this route, some far far down the line and some much closer, varying from No Trouble (a surprising Many of the branches are relatively free of trouble), to immediate 'seeking out the source of the disturbance' type troubles, dependent on if Wicked asks the other god for aid after giving up the lime or how else he handles it.

He could make a case for joining forces sincerely against the 'terror and make an effort to dissuade the god before him from sabotaging Wicked; if Wicked can convince the stranger of his good will, convince him that Wicked will cooperate similarly without intending the downfall of the stranger, then the odds of Wicked going into combat and coming out alive at the end jump up from 'miniscule' to 'still low but wow what a difference real teamwork can make!' Saness Last Monday at 11:50 PM .

Taking the stranger to Saness has the potential to end in a fight over the right to her person if Wicked isn't willing to relent or compromise on reestablishing the locks, and that route carries a moderate amount of bad idea vibes.

Should Wicked opt for diplomacy with apologies and sycophantic flattery, it could ease his transition into other favorable routes, but in and of itself the action does not seem to change much in this encounter.

Telling the stranger to fuck off almost one-hundred percent results in some form of doom or another, but it ranges from sudden danger to delayed danger, both in rather great proportions.

Perhaps surprisingly, outright attacking the stranger is not immediately damning. If Wicked tries to force the fight to an impromptu life-or-death encounter then obviously that changes things, but assault? Not Immediately Damning. There's even a chance of something good coming from it. Telling the guy to fuck off is disproportionately worse.

Wicked Last Monday at 11:55 PM "You're boxing me in." His voice was soft. "You're tryin to force me to relent her for your own designs or suffer death at your hands under the guise of askingfor my help." His eyes burned brighter and his fingers curled into a fist. A breath, two breaths, and the air boiled in the sky, clouds formed and rolled out blocking the light, while lightening flickered between them. It started drizzling softly, and his fingers relaxed, calm.

"..I shouldn't ought to have tried to force you down the path of fate I chose, insteada talkin to you." "I didn't know what you were when I tried, only that you were strong enough to face it."

Saness Last Tuesday at 12:10 AM He blinks again, the opening of his hood tipping skyward as the presence descends back around them in formless pressure. It seems to be his default, his relaxed state is smothering. A flash of crafted lightning might illuminate the inside of his hood, if only for a moment, and what is seen within is... not entirely a face, something writhing on one side. His attention swivels back to Wicked, darkness and red light once more.

"...Perhaps so."

The stranger seems to be waiting for Wicked to continue, as such assertions are not an answer to the balance set forth.

Wicked Last Tuesday at 12:16 AM "I don't want you to die any more than anyone else, I weren't tryin to send you to your death. " He raked his hair back from his face as it started slowly sticking to his skin. "- I can't help if I can't trust you, brother."

Saness Last Tuesday at 12:21 AM Another blink - he's really racking up a tally there, we're up to three distinct blinks - and he draws the least certain breath his rattling chest can manage.

"Trust?" he rasps.

Wicked Last Tuesday at 12:24 AM "Shits a lot easier to accomplish if no ones tryina kill their partners."

Saness Last Tuesday at 12:28 AM The seething pressure flutters around them both.

"You want- to trust me? You want me-" he coughs this time, not simply wheezing, and it physically wracks his body so much so that his shoulders hunch forward, "-to trust you?"

Wicked Last Tuesday at 12:29 AM "..brother are you okay, do you need somethin to drink?"

Saness Last Tuesday at 12:36 AM "..."

He spends a few moments wheezing into the rain between them, the lengths of his cloak slowly beginning to hang low with saturation.

"Why?"

That 'why' is several different 'whys' wrapped into one singular utterance.

Wicked Last Tuesday at 1:58 AM "..So we both live? Also cause you sound like you aint doin too well and sometimes drinkin something helps." He rubbed at the back of his neck "-Besides, even if I was all fuckin pissed and shit, Saness'd never forgive my ass for killin you or gettin killed. I aint but thats a thing."

Saness Last Tuesday at 2:05 AM His power shifts through the air again, examining the threads of fate, pressing out and around at possibility. He shifts physically, taking a step closer to Wicked.

"...You are odd."

Wicked Last Tuesday at 2:09 AM "Yeah I've heard that before." His ears twitched a bit, perked curiously at the feel of power that wasnt his around him. He wasn't planning to betray this troll and that should be readily apparent in the search of fate.

Saness Last Tuesday at 2:20 AM "Hm."

He doesn't seem entirely satisfied, but... the power he was letting out to scope destiny comes to a stop.

"You would fight Them, with me, for her."

He seems very genuinely confused by this notion, and the reason becomes clear rather swiftly.

"She was in," - wheeze - "no danger, before. In my care." Wicked Last Tuesday at 2:28 AM "I'm not afraid of horror terrors, not like I ought to be. They're big and some of them are nasty, but I've seen them die. Shes fuckin unhappy as shit with parts of her missin and other bits locked away."

Saness Last Tuesday at 2:37 AM He remains silent at that, nothing more than rasping air and the patter of raindrops on his cloak.

"...together, then?"

Wicked Last Tuesday at 2:39 AM He hesitating, feeling out the veracity of this path carefully, water sparkling on his wings as the lightening flashes above them. If he finds his doom has become significantly less assured then.. "Together."

Saness Last Tuesday at 2:47 AM A significant drop indeed without the other god gunning for Wicked's demise. It's still heavy, horrorterrors are no small threat, but... doom is less assured by far. The hooded stranger nods, his twisting aura slow and unpleasant.

"Then, ready yourself. I will- be in- touch..."

Wicked Last Tuesday at 2:50 AM "Waitin to hear from you then." He nodded at the strange twisted god who had accosted his attention.

Saness Last Tuesday at 2:53 AM He nods, and another pause follows.

"...I still wish to see her."

Wicked Last Tuesday at 2:55 AM "Maybe after all this shit is over and theres no reason for you to fuck with her anymore."

Saness Last Tuesday at 3:04 AM He offers no further response, instead studying Wicked only a moment longer before rising off the roof to take his leave. Once he achieves some distance, the stranger vanishes in a nauseating swirl of doom-green and horror-black. The sickening pressure leaves with him, suction and then nothing, raindrops and the sense of a sigh.

Inside the lighthive on Wicked's couch, Saness's miserable and fretful rest, tainted by that wretched presence, begins to ease back to the peace of before.

Wicked Last Tuesday at 3:05 AM Wicked needed a fucking shower, first he'll check on Saness then he'll wash up.

Saness Last Tuesday at 3:11 AM She'll still be asleep when he enters, though by the pallor of her skin she looks like she's been sweating, and the blanket he'd used to tuck her in is disheveled like she's been tossing and turning. Now she is still, steady breathing and expression lacking tension. He can take his shower.

Wicked Last Tuesday at 3:16 AM He fushes gently, fixing the blanket, brushing her hair back from her face, worrying. .. Hes very glad he didn't let that guy anywhere near her. Time for that shower then he'll be back in here to sit with her till she wakes.

Saness Last Tuesday at 3:26 AM When she does wake, it is with the soft fluttering of silvery lashes and sleepy sounds as she comes to awareness. Saness rolls onto her side and rubs at her eye, looking around the room until her gaze settles on wherever Wicked decided to settle.

"Wicked? Hey..."

Pleased and then sheepish, she gives her clade a little smile.

Wicked Last Tuesday at 3:28 AM "Hey sis, you conked out when I got those locks outcha." Time to scoot over there and muss her hair a little.

Saness Last Tuesday at 3:32 AM She can't help but giggle just a little when Wicked ruffles her hair, raising a hand to shove at his fingers. It's a bit of a contrast to his words though, and she moves to sit up.

"Sorry about that, I bet I worried you. I feel fine now, though!"

Wicked Last Tuesday at 3:35 AM "Yeah but I knew you'd be okay" He sat on the edge of the couch beside her. "how're you feelin?"

Saness Last Tuesday at 3:39 AM "Um..." Saness looks down her arms and to her hands, backs and palms both, before folding them in her lap and peeking back up at Wicked. "I'm fine. The same. I feel pretty normal."

Wicked Last Tuesday at 3:41 AM "Good" He kissed her head. "Somethin happened while you were out, the motherfucker who did that to you was real upset with me for undoin it"

Saness Last Tuesday at 3:44 AM "What?" Confusion and distress begin a turf war across Saness's features rather immediately. That's one way to finish waking up! "Are you okay??"

Wicked Last Tuesday at 3:47 AM "Hey hey shh I'm alright." He patted at her shoulder and chewed his lip. "..we had a long tlak about it where I refused to let him see you"

Saness Last Tuesday at 3:51 AM She's going to have to reach over and put a hand on Wicked. It's basically a requirement, like Saness needs to touch him to make sure he's actually alright. She does quiet down though, but only because he asked it of her. "What happened? Is he gone now?"

Wicked Last Tuesday at 3:52 AM "Yeah hes gone now, but he'll be back, he wants me to fight that horror terror that messed you up with him." look away from her and fiddle with his fingers.

Saness Last Tuesday at 4:02 AM Saness remains very clearly uneasy following the spike of anxiety generated by his words, brow pinched tight as she watches Wicked. His fiddling is giving her a bad feeling, it makes her want to know what he's thinking, and it takes her a moment to keep her breath rate from spiking with her pulse. Chill out... "And... you said no?" She can hope, and she can dread.

Wicked Last Tuesday at 4:03 AM "..its gonna be a hard fight, but its doable. N also Tarrat didn't stop me or nothin so.."

Saness Last Tuesday at 4:07 AM She's going to compulsively grab hold of him now. So much for quieting down! "Wicked-!" It's plaintive and upset.

Wicked Last Tuesday at 4:08 AM Oop yeah he was afraid of that. He hugged her. "I'm gonna be okay, I got all sorts of tricks and a time player who can talk to me directly no matter where I am." "..Besides Vel's always sayin if theres a horror terror ass needs kickin hes in so maybe.."

Saness Last Tuesday at 4:12 AM Okay, it's hug time apparently. Good luck shaking the little lime now that she's wrapped around your middle, Wicked. She's going to crane her little head up so she can keep fixing him with those intently focused eyes, too. "Don't."

Wicked Last Tuesday at 4:14 AM "Listen I gotta, the other motherfucker's stronger than me, an hes got some fuckin.. somethin all wrong with him, hes grimdark and his magics all twisted up and I barely convinced him to work with me insteada tryina kill me" This was okay they could hug.

Saness Last Tuesday at 4:18 AM "He was going to kill you??" Wicked Last Tuesday at 4:19 AM "I made him mad not lettin him get at you" "..n kinda tryin to alter his fate to get him to fight the terror by hisself.."

Saness Last Tuesday at 4:23 AM Hey! Wow! That makes Saness feel all of Zero Percent better! She can't think of anything to work against 'getting a complete stranger to go off and fight a horrible space loogie' and she honestly doesn't want to think about what that implies at all. "Couldn't we have just... put it back? Would that have worked?"

Wicked Last Tuesday at 4:27 AM He brushed his fingers at her hair. "it didn't feel like the right path, you're all fuck.. vibrant with possibilities now, and it all goes away if its closed off again."

Saness Last Tuesday at 4:31 AM Saness looks completely miserable, because she is. "I don't want you to fight that eldritch abomination. I told you that, Wicked..."

Wicked Last Tuesday at 4:34 AM "I know you don't" he squeezed her. "I'm sorry"

Saness Last Tuesday at 4:39 AM It's hard not to feel a little bit betrayed by that 'sorry,' but that's not right because it's her fault for making the wrong decision in the first place, and she knew she wasn't any good at making decisions, and she should have asked for a second opinion, and ohp, she's tearing up. "Can't we do something else...?"

Wicked Last Tuesday at 4:42 AM He kissed her head. "I already told him I would, Saness. .. besides I dont..want you to fuckin.. just go on havin bits of you stripped away from yourself, that aint fuckin right."

Saness Last Tuesday at 4:51 AM Her eyes are wet and her teeth are grit, a swallow thick in her throat. She's still hugging on tight to Wicked, but her eyebrows take on an angrier stance. Squish! "You know I have to like... try to stop you, right? That's what I said..." She doesn't sound like she wants to fight Wicked.

Wicked Last Tuesday at 4:53 AM He stroked her hair, his hands were gentle and cold, and her empathy could tell her hes worried about her, but not for himself, hes anxious about upsetting her, but not about the fight coming. "You gonna beat me up good?"

Saness Last Tuesday at 5:00 AM After a moment of chewing her lip and 'glaring' at Wicked, Saness nods. "I'm going to have to beat you up."

Wicked Last Tuesday at 5:02 AM "Shit I guess its time to get my ass kicked." he was still hugging.

Saness Last Tuesday at 5:03 AM "And when I win you won't be able to run off and get yourself killed." She hasn't stopped hugging him either, even if her expression is wibbly and grim.

Wicked Last Tuesday at 5:05 AM "I'm not gonna die, I promise I wont let no big ass ugly squid kill me." He squeezed her again.

Saness Last Tuesday at 5:09 AM They're just clinging to each other. Or, Saness is clinging. If she holds onto him until it's too late then he can't go right? Right. "When is it? That you're supposed to meet with this... person..."

Wicked Last Tuesday at 5:10 AM "He'll come callin." pet pet her hair.

Saness Last Tuesday at 5:14 AM "How did he find you and not me?"

Wicked Last Tuesday at 5:14 AM "I went up to the roof when I felt him comin to see whos powers had been fuckin with his shit."

Saness Last Tuesday at 5:16 AM "How d'you think he'll find you next time? Is he just gonna come here?"

Wicked Last Tuesday at 5:21 AM He shrugged and shook his head. "- he'll set his fate so it is to meet me, and follow it there."

Saness Last Tuesday at 5:23 AM Fishy. Fishy fishy fishy. Saness is going to hide her face against Wicked, partly because she feels heavy, and partly to hide any sign of what she's thinking. "...I don't see what was wrong with me before... Or, I mean, I don't see... It's not worth it, and that hasn't really changed..."

Wicked Last Tuesday at 5:28 AM "Its changed." He brushed his hand through her hair and patted her on the back. "I can fuckin feel it, your fate is changed, and theres so many motherfuckin possibilities now where there weren't before. Its fuckin worth it. Especially if I can get yo' memories back from that fucker when we fight. Dont tell me your memories aren't worth it cause they are."

Saness Last Tuesday at 5:41 AM She can't agree, but she can't argue with him either. Saness starts to lose her nerve, the tension in her eyebrows that was trying to stay in a mad scowl instead sink into an expression of sadness and guilt. Nobody should be at risk for or because of her. Wicked is... gentle. Is that a weird descriptor? She doesn't think so, despite knowing as much about him as she does. Her little arms withdraw from the hug just enough for her to lean back and look at him again. "How can you promise... you won't die, Wicked?"

Wicked Last Tuesday at 5:44 AM He uncurled an arm to brush her hair out of her face. "I'm a god of fate, and battle is my strongest skill, when I fight I'm one with my powers an nothin can fuckin touch me." Except it has before hasn't it, his body was scarred with near death experiances.

Saness Last Tuesday at 5:49 AM Except it has before indeed, and Saness's gaze says everything that her voice doesn't as her palm plaps down rather pointedly against the marring on his stomach. She holds her stare on his glowing purple eyes rather stubbornly, wordlessly asking 'uhh, come again?' and daring him to feed her that line twice.

Wicked Last Tuesday at 5:51 AM "..I wasn't a god, then. Saness. I wasn't even a fuckin adult, and all I knew was what the horror terrors wanted, and I did what they told me to do." He let out a breath slowly. "..n they knew if I was up against a wall and dyin I'd trigger that game even with reasonable fuckin hesitation about it."

Saness Last Tuesday at 5:53 AM She tries to keep the stubbornness in place, but it softens in the background. She can't help it. "...that's not the only mark on you," she says very softly.

Wicked Last Tuesday at 5:58 AM He lifted his hand and touched his chest where the other larger scar was. "- This is from how I godtiered, I had lost the voices of m- the terrors, and I didnt yet trust my powers, an they werent real developed on their own yet. The others stuffs just acceptable damage taken toward my goal- cause every good path doesnt always mean its painless, an every path to life doesnt mean theres no injury."

Saness Last Tuesday at 6:06 AM Saness remains visibly unhappy. The little weenie isn't sure that any damage is an acceptable amount when it comes to the people she loves, when it's because of her greediness or carelessness. It's not like she couldn't make new memories, or couldn't make possibilities on her own. Her gaze drops to his middle, but she's only half looking at her hand on his scars, tiny uncertain shifts of not-tracing. "I wonder... which one of us is the one that doesn't get it..."

Wicked Last Tuesday at 6:12 AM "..c'n you trust me? To know whats worth it to me? to do shit I think is right? ..to help make you whole and happy in yo'self? Cause thats what I want." He pet her hair gently.

Saness Last Tuesday at 6:26 AM Saness groans and her hand drops down from his stomach to her leg with a limp little thwap. When she looks up at Wicked, her features are shaped on the sulky side. "C'mon Wicked, that's cheating."

Wicked Last Tuesday at 6:31 AM "It aint cheatin" he squeezed her. "I've been a whole assed adult for a few sweeps now I know what I'm about."

Saness Last Tuesday at 6:40 AM Hf. Saness is just about done with arguing, at this point. What else can she possibly say? Rather than pressing the matter until Wicked gets upset too, she's just going to sit close and hold onto him more softly than before, possessed by melancholy. "You're really important to me, An-" whoops no, wrong name, not allowed, "-and I hope I'm just overreacting." Sweet save, gnarly bro. "...will you tell me, when he comes to get you?"

Wicked Last Tuesday at 6:43 AM "..You can call me Antony if y' want, no one does, except when I'm in trouble. You aren't over reactin, what I'm doin is super motherfuckin dangerous, an bein worried about it aint wrong." He hesitated "..yeah I aint gonna leave you hangin not knowin if I'm gone off to get in trouble or not"

Saness Last Tuesday at 6:48 AM How the FUCK did he catch her, she was sure that was smooth! Damn, now Saness is fidgety and uncomfortable. That's not so important as the rest though, and it's easier to quash than it might normally be, what with all the hellish space loogie bullshit going on. Just gonna... clear her throat and move on, maybe look at her knees when the hug ends. "...thank you."

Wicked Last Tuesday at 6:51 AM He kissed her head. "You aint gonna get rid of me super easy so fuckin jot that down."

Saness Last Tuesday at 6:56 AM She tips her face up enough to crack an eye at him, not quite smiling, but just a few hesitant inches closer to it. He's given her a lot of kisses and she is Not tall. "I'll hold you to that... Antony. I'm sorry things, uh. Dipped this way."

Wicked Last Tuesday at 7:00 AM Its a good thing clowns learn to contort themselves, and thats the gods' truth. "Yeah well, shit happens, we'll get it all fuckin sorted out."

Saness Last Tuesday at 7:07 AM "Yeah..." She's got plenty of thoughts to dwell on, but Saness is quickly running out of things to say and words to say them with.

Wicked Last Tuesday at 7:08 AM He was not exactly great at carrying on conversations by himself, so he was running out of things to say- instead he poked at her gently. "You hungry?"

Saness Last Tuesday at 7:12 AM "Uh-" Saness perks up at that gentle poke, the little 'o' on her face smoothing into a bit better of a smile as she nods. Classic Wicked. "Wanna cook with me?"

Wicked Last Tuesday at 7:13 AM "Yeah lets make somethin'" He smiled at her, that was better.

Saness Last Tuesday at 7:20 AM Together they can both abandon The Couch of Heavy Feelings and try their hand at lighter chefly endeavors until such a time as peace can descend once more, fleeting though it may be. Saness will lighten up as they go on, at least a bit. Still Stressed™ but no longer on the verge of tears.

Wicked Last Tuesday at 7:22 AM Good, the magic of food has done its job. Thus they spent the rest of their evening.

#sanesspsuede #paragraph rp #ask to tag

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zzpopzz · 7 years

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Really long rant about how I made Vanilla Twilight, I typed it at 2am so it’s kinda crappy and boring, just skip through this post.

So I'd been thinking about it for a long time now, even before finishing Vanilla Twilight that I'd talk about it if someone asked, well that never happened so I was just thinking that I'd let it go but that post is so important to me so well fuck it I'll just talk about it anyway. I did it completely on a wimp like how cool would it be if I make a lyricstuck for Toumaki like I'd be the first (if anyone did this before me im sorry). The first song I intended to do wasn't VT, it was a much shorter and easier song. I saw the music video first time after a while and the lyrics gave me some scenes to draw right away, like the tones, the atmosphere, the lyrics all fit them very well, made me wanted to draw something happy but sad. The ending for it was a happy one instead of a sad one like other songs I did (I didn't post the ending for any of them, just let the viewers decide what it's gonna be) I was very scared like what if it won't turn out ok and people gonna hate me for it or no one even gonna look at it. Also what I visualized are mostly illustrations with backgrounds, what I never done before so high chance it won't go anywhere. I thought well let's just see how far will I get and won't talk about it at all until I post it so at least I won't be all barks no bite. I was very traumatized that someone might know about what I did so I locked all the files when I shut down my PC in case someone hack into it lmao. I started with making a storyboard(kinda) for it, this is where I first got trouble because there was some part I didn't think of when I visualized what I'd draw at first ( 'I don't feel so alone' part mostly and some in between) and it's only at this point that I realized how many I'd have to draw (over 40 images total) and it's mind blowing for someone who rarely finish a painting like me at that time, that number is more than what I'd draw in a year. VT doesn't have choruses that meant I can't do tricks like repeat some panels (I don't like this anyway). I usually painted on small canvas before that but I wanna make sure I can fix things later and some idea I had was pretty big so I used 3000x5000px canvas then trimmed them down ( I didn't know how big it was and it's huge). The idea was to make a tumblr scroll-post like a lyricstuck (my favorites are by paperseverywhere and toastyhat/emptyfeet , they made really cool tutorials about these) so I tried to drew out compositions that would look good scrolling down panel by panel and have some connections between them (this didn't turn out so good in the end because I wasn't good lol) Since I was scared that people might point out that I draw something wrong, it took me almost a week or something searching for references (check my pinterest board) like the streets, sky, houses, roads, outfits, poses,... I was going to draw. I got some knowledge about bikes by this too, like I can tell the differences between road bike, mtb, touring bikes,... I also see and captured bunches of screenshots and reread ywpd trivia countless time to make sure I won't get anything wrong. If you take notice, every outfit Toumaki wear in there are all canon, from anime or promos. The first few panels was really exciting because I had never painted so many with backgrounds before, I was really happy when I almost finished the first verse even compared to the full 3:50 of the song it was only 20 seconds and I thought maybe I can pull this after all. The last panel was intended to be Makichan standing infront of his house looking at the sky but I wanted to show the sky at the end of the panel and that wouldn't work on scroll-down post so I had to leave it for later, I repainted this panel for about 3 times and finished it just 30' before posting. The first panel of the second verse wasn't turning out alright too because that was my first time doing a 3 points perspective drawing and the colors didn't turn out as I wanted either (my intention was a green/gold dawn scene). Things kinda worked well despite that until the scene when Toudou sits in his ink, gdi I didn't know why I was so caught up in that and painted every piece of that wooden floor, it took me almost a week but turned out better than I expected so I was ok with it. I was going to make sketchy paintings for all of the panel but I did too much details on that one so it gave me the impression that I'll have to do just as much for every others. Now I still had school to go and that semester my uni got me pretty crappy schedule that made me have to wait for classes at school frequently, I was frustrated because I didn't get to paint during that time and I might finish it too late (even though I didn't set a deadline) and when I got home I just spent so much time checking twitter and just can't pick myself up to draw and ended up feeling shitty about it. *Side story* I was so mad because I didn't get anything done and there's still more than half of the whole thing to do and the worst part is that I had no one that I can talk to because I didn't have any friend who ship Toumaki and I also don't want to publicly talk about what I was doing, I wanted to surprise people when I'm done, I didn't wanna give people the expectation then screw it up (I literally thought I'd drop a bomb not a grenade lmao) I can't remember how long was that shitty phase but I felt like it was so long, I barely finished verse 2 at that point. I was so mad at myself and my progress so I spent a few days to look at time management threads and this helped a lot, I changed my habits completely by this and I still apply those methods now, like I used to stay up til 3am to read fics (bless you writers you fueled me with your writings bless you all) then I switch to bed before 12 and get up early for a good start or reduce working time while increasing quality* After that I kinda got things together,I just went ahead with painting tho it's still kinda tiring, I had to work on 5 essays during this time too. At this point I was like screw all, I give no shit about what everyone thinks I'm just gonna finish this and get some good nap (I practiced power nap to get more focus time for painting but dude everyone wants a good long nap) 10 days before uploading I found out that there's a Toumaki day (I'm so sorry), I was going to posted on the first sunday of June (I did researched on which was the best time to post on social medias so I randomly picked a sunday) and Toumaki day is the last sunday of May, that meant I had 10 days left and 15 panels to paint! I was going to ignore that but I already made it big I should make it right too so I shit my pants going through those last panels. I purposely hiding Toudou's face till the last verse to emphasize the feelz and got so relieved that I finally got to paint him (I read some tags that some viewers got emotional at this part so I'm so glad it worked). The whole things was put under Makichan's perspective so I was so sick of painting him at that point, he showed up in every panel and I can't paint him ugly because he's beautiful (especially his hair, I spent shitload of time painting them). I can talk lots about why I picked to do so but that's headcanon shit and it's embarrassing so let's just skip that. The last day I had only 3 panels left and I was hell confident that I've got this and somehow spent the whole evening rewatch Toumaki pingpong ep (end me). Of course that didn't end well, I managed to finish those by midnight but I still had like 3 panels that needed repaint completely and all 43 needed retouch and edits. My plan was to post at 9am sunday (thats 9pm saturday est) so I had to get up at 5am and finish all that, I ended up cutting down 2 panels and simplified the instrumental panel (some tags said that was nice so I was at least relieved). Unlike other songs I did, the length of every line's quite different and the original sizes I did would make viewers have to scroll slower or faster at different parts. I didn't plan this beforehand and had to trim down some panels even the parts that I really liked and spent lots of time on. I also found out that people outside the homestuck fandom might not familiar with this type of post so I made a video too (I’m sorry I have zero skill in editing). After posting I was terrified of people's reactions or worse, there won't be any reaction so I turned everything off and went to sleep and woke up with an unimaginable number of notes I'd got, I set the target of 500 notes and I really didn't think that I'd get past that number like maybe 2-300 (well my other songs didnt even get 200), at the end I got 5000. I spent the next week reading and screencap tags given in reblogs, I put them on desktop and they're still my motivation til now. Vanilla Twilight is the thing I'm proud of the most even until now, when I've done other songs and projects that look somewhat better. If I have to recommend one thing on my blog I'd recommend it despite its' unskilled paneling, poor composition and muddy colors. It was the first time in my life that I'd put so much effort into something and went through such emotional roller coaster, the feelings I put into it was raw and the idea was very original compared to other songs, I improved and changed a lot during the 2 months I spent on it and never once regret doing it. ***Anyway, you sure have much free time to read it this far, here's a little game for you: I put random things in VT and HF like some characters/stuff from other series, my ocs,... (there wasn't anything purposeless in there even the logo on their cups or the bags they wear) just send me anything you find and I'll draw you something in return**

#toumaki #tweetdump #rant #poopask

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