#every woman i've ever lived with said one of the best things about living with me is that

[cocklessboy]

The biggest male privilege I have so far encountered is going to the doctor.

I lived as a woman for 35 years. I have a lifetime of chronic health issues including chronic pain, chronic fatigue, respiratory issues, and neurodivergence (autistic + ADHD). There's so much wrong with my body and brain that I have never dared to make a single list of it to show a doctor because I was so sure I would be sent directly to a psychologist specializing in hypochondria (sorry, "anxiety") without getting a single test done.

And I was right. Anytime I ever tried to bring up even one of my health issues, every doctor's initial reaction was, at best, to look at me with doubt. A raised eyebrow. A seemingly casual, offhand question about whether I'd ever been diagnosed with an anxiety disorder. Even female doctors!

We're not talking about super rare symptoms here either. Joint pain. Chronic joint pain since I was about 19 years old. Back pain. Trouble breathing. Allergy-like reactions to things that aren't typically allergens. Headaches. Brain fog. Severe insomnia. Sensitivity to cold and heat.

There's a lot more going on than that, but those were the things I thought I might be able to at least get some acknowledgement of. Some tests, at least. But 90% of the time I was told to go home, rest, take a few days off work, take some benzos (which they'd throw at me without hesitation), just chill out a bit, you'll be fine. Anxiety can cause all kinds of odd symptoms.

Anyone female-presenting reading this is surely nodding along. Yup, that's just how doctors are.

Except...

I started transitioning about 2.5 years ago. At this point I have a beard, male pattern baldness, a deep voice, and a flat chest. All of my doctors know that I'm trans because I still haven't managed to get all the paperwork legally changed, but when they look at me, even if they knew me as female at first, they see a man.

I knew men didn't face the same hurdles when it came to health care, but I had no idea it was this different.

The last time I saw my GP (a man, fairly young, 30s or so), I mentioned chronic pain, and he was concerned to see that it wasn't represented in my file. Previous doctors hadn't even bothered to write it down. He pushed his next appointment back to spend nearly an hour with me going through my entire body while I described every type of chronic pain I had, how long I'd had it, what causes I was aware of. He asked me if I had any theories as to why I had so much pain and looked at me with concerned expectation, hoping I might have a starting point for him. He immediately drew up referrals for pain specialists (a profession I didn't even know existed till that moment) and physical therapy. He said depending on how it goes, he may need to help me get on some degree of disability assistance from the government, since I obviously shouldn't be trying to work full-time under these circumstances.

Never a glimmer of doubt in his eye. Never did he so much as mention the word "anxiety".

There's also my psychiatrist. He diagnosed me with ADHD last year (meeting me as a man from the start, though he knew I was trans). He never doubted my symptoms or medical history. He also took my pain and sleep issues seriously from the start and has been trying to help me find medications to help both those things while I go through the long process of seeing other specialists. I've had bad reactions to almost everything I've tried, because that's what always happens. Sometimes it seems like I'm allergic to the whole world.

And then, just a few days ago, the most shocking thing happened. I'd been wondering for a while if I might have a mast cell condition like MCAS, having read a lot of informative posts by @thebibliosphere which sounded a little too relatable. Another friend suggested it might explain some of my problems, so I decided to mention it to the psychiatrist, fully prepared to laugh it off. Yeah, a friend thinks I might have it, I'm not convinced though.

His response? That's an interesting theory. It would be difficult to test for especially in this country, but that's no reason not to try treatments and see if they are helpful. He adjusted his medication recommendations immediately based on this suggestion. He's researching an elimination diet to diagnose my food sensitivities.

I casually mentioned MCAS, something routinely dismissed by doctors with female patients, and he instantly took the possibility seriously.

That's it. I've reached peak male privilege. There is nothing else that could happen that could be more insane than that.

I literally keep having to hold myself back from apologizing or hedging or trying to frame my theories as someone else's idea lest I be dismissed as a hypochondriac. I told the doctor I'd like to make a big list of every health issue I have, diagnosed and undiagnosed, every theory I've been given or come up with myself, and every medication I've tried and my reactions to it - something I've never done because I knew for a fact no doctor would take me seriously if they saw such a list all at once. He said it was a good idea and could be very helpful.

Female-presenting people are of course not going to be surprised by any of this, but in my experience, male-presenting people often are. When you've never had a doctor scoff at you, laugh at you, literally say "I won't consider that possibility until you've been cleared by a psychologist" for the most mundane of health problems, it might be hard to imagine just how demoralizing it is. How scary it becomes going to the doctor. How you can internalize the idea that you're just imagining things, making a big deal out of nothing.

Now that I'm visibly a man, all of my doctors are suddenly very concerned about the fact that I've been simply living like this for nearly four decades with no help. And I know how many women will have to go their whole lives never getting that help simply because of sexism in the medical field.

If you know a doctor, show them this story. Even if they are female. Even if they consider themselves leftists and feminists and allies. Ask them to really, truly, deep down, consider whether they really treat their male and female patients the same. Suggest that the next time they hear a valid complaint from a male patient, imagine they were a woman and consider whether you'd take it seriously. The next time they hear a frivolous-sounding complaint from a female patient, imagine they were a man and consider whether it would sound more credible.

It's hard to unlearn these biases. But it simply has to be done. I've lived both sides of this issue. And every doctor insists they treat their male and female patients the same. But some of the doctors astonished that I didn't get better care in the past are the same doctors who dismissed me before.

I'm glad I'm getting the care I need, even if it is several decades late. And I'm angry that it took so long. And I'm furious that most female-presenting people will never have this chance.

#transgender #queer #transmasc #lgbtqia+ #trans man #sexism #medical sexism #feminism #male privilege

[starry-eyes-love]

Darlin', You're Beautiful

Pairing | Best Friend Joel Miller x Curvy F!Reader, AU (no outbreak)

Summary | After having been stood up from another date yet again, you went to the park with Joel Miller, your best friend, to hang out. You're lost in your own head, not believing that you're beautiful when Joel reminds you of where beauty truly lies, from within.

Warnings | 18+ Minors DNI, age gap (she's mid 20s, he's early 40s), reference to reader being curvy, language, self esteem issues and discussions, terms of endearment (honey, sugar, baby, darlin'), heavy kissing, sexual tension a bit, brief reference to smut, fluff.

Word Count:  2.6K

A/N: This one comes from a space that's been taking up my personal headspace for far too long. She’s a little emotional, but that’s ok. Remember, beauty comes from within. Enjoy :) 

Joel's words lingered in the air, “baby, I’ve wanted you for so fucking long,” he whispered, while slowly thrusting inside of you. He was giving you a gentle reminder that beauty, true beauty, was seen from inside a person's soul. 

Main Masterlist

Joel leaned back against the old oak tree in the park, the soft rustle of the leaves above him providing a calming backdrop. His heart was pounding in his chest, nerves taking root in his body. Man, she’s beautiful, the most beautiful woman I’ve ever known.  And you were, you were beautiful.  You were beautiful because you had a beautiful soul.  

For all of your life, you didn’t believe that you were beautiful.  Society had a specific version of what beauty was, and you felt like you never lived up to that expectation. You were not skinny with a flat stomach, you had a little bit of a tummy on you.  You were sitting in the park, watching the Texan sunset with your best friend, Joel Miller, and you were silently scolding yourself yet again. Your second date with a guy last night didn’t go as planned, the man never showed up.  Somehow once guys saw that you weren’t the super skinny woman with a big chest, they didn’t want to be with you, and they’d bail on you every chance that they had.  

Joel hated seeing you like this, berating and belittling yourself over not being what boys thought were beautiful.  And that's who you were attempting to date, boys.  Joel, being a man in his early 40s, saw women differently than what men in their 20s did.  You weren’t a baby in life, being in your mid 20s yourself, but the men that you attempted to date were.  They were too egotistical, caring more about getting laid and the final score at the end of the night than treating a woman with any real respect. 

So after sitting with his back against the tree for a bit, and taking in the beautiful Texan sunset, Joel tipped his baseball cap back slightly to look at your face. As he stared at you, he noticed that your once warm eyes that were full of life and happiness, now looked lost. Without giving it another thought, Joel opened his mouth and said the thing that he’s wanted to say to you for a long time. 

"Darlin', there's been somethin' on my mind that I wanted to tell ya," he stated, his voice heavy with that slow Southern drawl.

Glancing over at Joel with curiosity you said, “What is it, Joel?"

While grabbing a blade of grass and beginning to twirl it between his fingers, a nervous habit that he had, he said "well, sugar, I've been thinkin' a lot about the type of men that you’ve been tryin’ to date. And well honey, they’re just little boys. Little boys who think they know what’s right for a woman, but they don’t. They don’t know what’s right for ya.”

You told him “ok” in a voice that you didn't quite recognize as your own, one that was so meek and mild. You weren’t the girl who usually got down on herself so much. But recently it had been too much with being stood up on dates, or just being told no in the most embarrassing and rude way possible.  Usually a few situations like this wouldn’t bother you, but recently, it has become too much. 

Joel, shaking his head, looked back over at you and said “Darlin’, when are ya going to stop believin’ all the garbage these boys say, and start believin’ in something that matters?”

“What matters Joel, huh?” you said, straightening up and shooting him a dirty look with your eyes. This was not the conversation that you wanted to have right now, one that discussed your choices.  Yes, Joel was right, but you didn’t want to hear him say it right now.  You didn’t want him to rub your nose in the fact that you couldn’t seem to pick a good guy to go out with ever. 

“Ya gotta start believin’ it honey, that you’re beautiful, and not waiting on some dumbass guy to say it to you. Y/n, you are beautiful.” Joel said, looking at you tenderly, trying to communicate the feelings that he’s felt for you inside for a long time.

You just stared at Joel, pondering why he would go to this length to say this to you. In the last 5 years that the two of you have been friends, not once did Joel Miller ever say that you were beautiful.  It’s just not something that the two of you have ever talked about before. And if you were being honest, you wondered why now he chose to bring it up. 

"Joel, you're sweet. But come on, let's be real. I'm not exactly the definition of beautiful." you said, looking over at him.

Joel sighed, trying to make you understand what he saw. "You may not see it darlin’, but I do. I see it every time you smile with the way your eyes light up. Or the way you snort when you laugh, especially when you find something really funny. When you talk ‘bout things that you love, I see you open your heart up to the person you’re talkin’ to. Or even that cute little blush that ya get when you get embarrassed. Beauty isn't just about appearance darlin’; it's about the way you carry yourself, the kindness in your heart, and the way you make other people feel."

Shifting uncomfortably, clearly not used to receiving these types of compliments from anyone, but especially a man and your best friend. "Joel, you're exaggerating. I appreciate it, but I'm not the type of girl people describe as beautiful."

Joel once again shook his head. He wanted you to see what he saw, the beauty that you had within you. "That's where you're wrong darlin’. You have this unique charm that goes beyond what people think is beautiful. It's about you being genuine, and baby, you are as genuine as they come."

“Well, I’ve never felt like it.” You looked over at Joel with soft eyes, wanting to believe everything that he was saying to you.

“Well that’s what’s wrong darlin’. You are the best type of beauty possible.  Beauty of the soul. And baby, I can’t get enough of it if I’m being honest.”

“Joel, what are you- what are you saying?” you asked softly, with slight irritation in your voice at how in-depth this conversation has gone. 

Joel scooted closer to you, and tucked a loose strand of hair behind your ear. “I’m saying that it’s your uniqueness that makes you beautiful darlin’. That it’s something rare to find, that you’re something rare to find. And baby, I find you incredibly attractive because of it."

A soft blush tinted your cheeks at Joel saying that you were attractive. "Do you- do you really mean it?" you asked, trying not to get your hopes up, but secretly hoping Joel was flirting with you.  Sure, you two have been friends for five years, but you’ve secretly have had a crush on Joel Miller ever since the start of your friendship. You didn’t think he’d ever look at you the way that you hoped, that he wanted to be with you in the capacity of being ‘more than friends.’  You always thought that he liked women that didn’t have curves like you did. 

Joel looking at you with hooded eyes said, "Baby, I've spent enough time with ya to know that there's more to beauty than what meets the eye. It's about the way you make people feel, the way you make me feel.  That genuine kindness you show me and others. That’s what makes your truly beautiful darlin’."

A thoughtful silence hung between the two of you, as you absorbed his words. It wasn't that you didn't believe him. But when people, specifically other men, have made you feel less than beautiful for many years, it took its toll. You couldn’t help but slowly start to believe those inappropriate statements by others, when it was others that were constantly saying it to you that they didn’t find you beautiful or sexually attractive. 

"Joel, it's not that I don't appreciate your words, I do. It's just that, it's hard to change when other people are mean for so long, and where they have made me feel less than beautiful as a woman.”

Joel slowly nodded, understanding the depth of your silent struggle. After a moment he said, “I get that darlin'', I do, it's just that-” Joel found himself standing at the precipice of no return with you. After contemplating his choices, he decided to throw caution completely out of the window, and he decided to act on the feelings that he’s had with you for a long time.  Joel leaned forward and cupped your cheek, gently running his thumb up and down it. “If ya don't believe my words darlin'', then please believe this.” He then leaned forward and gently kissed you softly on the mouth.

What started out as a gentle, soft kiss quickly turned heated. You softly whimpered into his mouth when his one hand went to the back of your neck, that spurred something deep inside him. As soon as he heard you moan he took the kiss a step further and gently ran his tongue along the seam of your lips, asking you for access into your mouth. When you opened for him, he dove his tongue in and started a slow caress. Gentle and smooth strokes, back and forth, inside your mouth, against your tongue. You two were doing a slow dance of passion and love behind your kiss. Nothing rushed, just gentle exploration.

When you moaned into his mouth, that’s when caution once again completely went out the window. A switch inside of Joel had flipped, and his kissing became more heated. Joel gripped the back of your head in a firm hold and tilted your chin up so he could lean forward and deepen the kiss into your mouth. It was at this moment that you realized two very important things. One, Joel Miller was an excellent kisser. And two, you wanted to sleep with your best friend really bad.

As you pulled away, gasping for air, you heard Joel let out a low growl. When you looked over at him he had very dark eyes.  His pupils were blown wide, and the air around you two crackled with sexual tension.  Joel moved back towards you and started kissing down your neck, nipping and biting over your pulse points and the areas of your neck that he knew were your most sensitive zones. “No one's ever kissed me like that before” you said, while moaning softly at what Joel was doing.

“That's a damn shame darlin''. A beautiful woman like yourself should be kissed like that all the goddamn time.” He said while sucking on your neck and then running his tongue over the love bite that he just made to soothe it. 

“I want more” you gasped, moaning again at Joel’s minstrations on your neck.

“Good, you should want more.” He said, moving to the other side of your neck and continuing his exploration. Joel was trying to find out what made you moan, squirm, and call out to him; making sure to keep doing that to intensify what he wanted to do again, and that was kiss you once again. He wanted to make sure that you knew without a doubt what he felt for you, and that any real man would know how to make a woman feel beautiful.  And goddamn, you were hot as hell and so sexy that he barely could think straight. 

With a slight smile, you gently shook your head while pulling away from him and finally admitting out loud to him, the thing that has been your biggest secret. “No Joel, I want more from you, with you. I have for a very long time.” You then reached out and gently cupped Joel’s cheek, running your thumb over his patchy beard. 

Joel looked at you with intense eyes, heart pounding hard and fast in his chest at the realization of what you were asking. Finally, after all these years you wanted him the same way that he wanted you. When you two first started hanging out he didn’t think you’d like him in a boyfriend type of way, as all your interactions were more based on friendship than anything else.  Now he felt stupid, hooking up with random women periodically over the years, having you play wingman with him at the bar, thinking that you never wanted more. I’m not gonna fuck this up anymore with her, he thought, focusing on showing you what he wanted.

Joel leaned forward and gently whispered in your ear, “well darlin’, why didn't ya say something. How ‘bout this, I take ya back to my house and show you what a real man does to make a woman feel so fucking sexy. Would you like that baby, for me to show you?”

When Joel pulled back to look at you he saw that you eagerly shook your head yes for him.  He tsked at you while resting his forehead against yours and said with his eyes closed, “Now come on baby, ya know better than that. Use your words, darlin’ tell me what ya want, please.”

When Joel pulled away from you gently, you nodded your head and then leaned in. Your mouth was right next to his ear when you gently whispered “fuck me Joel, that’s what I want. I want this, I want you. Help me forget about all those other men.”

Joel's eyes glazed over at your admittance. Pulling back he whispered “filthy girl” but then gave his own head a little nod, telling you that he understood what you wanted.  When Joel stood up, he reached out to help you up.  As the two of you walked back to his truck, he laced his hand into yours, showing you how much he actually cared. Once inside his truck, Joel kissed you passionately yet again, telling you with his actions of what he intended to do with you when he got back home. As he pulled away he then ran his hand through your hair for a moment, enjoying the quiet intimacy that was present.

 “I'm gonna treat ya right baby, the way you should’ve been treated all along. My only wish is that I wish I would've done this a lot sooner. For that honey, I’m really sorry.” And with that admittance Joel gave you another tender kiss on your lips. Once he settled into the driver's seat of his truck, you silently reached over and took his hand in yours. The 30 minute drive back to his house was done in silence.  But this silence for once wasn’t awkward, nothing with Joel ever was. You didn't know why you didn't see any of this feelings before, but now you were glad that the two of you communicated.

As the sun faded and dipped below the horizon, two souls were intertwined and connected. Joel's words lingered in the air, “baby, I’ve wanted you for so fucking long,” he whispered, while slowly thrusting inside of you. He was giving you a gentle reminder that beauty, true beauty, was seen from inside a person's soul. Joel spent the rest of his life, and yours, reminding you of this. And with each reminder it always ended the same way, you two wrapped up into each other’s arms. He told you each and every day how much he loved you, both inside and out, with saying just one simple sentence, “Darlin’, you’re beautiful.”  And you were, you were beautiful both inside out. Not because a man told you, but because you finally started to believe it yourself. 

The End

Taglist: @punkshort @shotgun-shelby @strawbunnyx @orcasoul @pedritoferg @chiogarza @jesfreedark @untamedheart81 @rainbow12346 @nandan11 @swiftpascal @eliza-8 @joeldjarin @vickie5446 @nastiasnow @staywildflowahchild @ratoonstown @l3laze @its-always-420-on-the-moon @kirsteng42

#joel miller #joel miller fanfiction #joel miller fic #joel and reader #pedro pascal #joel miller masterlist #joel miller smut #the last of us #joel the last of us #joel x female reader #joel x reader #joel x you #joel x y/n #joel tlou #tlou hbo #tlou #tlou2 #self love #self esteem #love yourself #joel miller and female #joel and female #joel miller x female reader #feelings #joel x f!reader #joel fic #joel miller x f!reader #f!reader #fluff #bf joel

[wosoluver]

I have a request for Lena Oberdorf x Bayern Reader.

On the topic of her transfer to Bayern. This request is full on fluff with maybe a little angst of them being apart.

Reunited

Can we please get one about Obi loving domestic life with Reader when they see each other (cooking together, cuddling while watching movies & even versing each other at video games). But misses it dearly when the two have to be apart for months on end due to their commitments with their respective clubs. Sure the two see each other during the national break but that’s not enough. So Obi decides to transfer to Bayern to be with Reader 24/7.

Reunited.

Lena Oberdorf x reader

──✩₊⁺⋆☾⋆⁺₊✧──

"Finally reunited!" you said as you put your seatbelt on.

"Only for a little bit though." she said turning on the engine, to drive to her apartment from picking you up at the airport.

"Don't say that, we have a couple of days." you grabbed the hand she had in your thigh, intertwining your fingers and kissing the back of it.

"Sorry schatz. I swear, I'm very excited to spend time together."

You were a Bayern Munich player, and your girlfriend, well, she was one of your best rivals. She played for Wolfsburg.

You can say it took a lot of concessions, to make the relationship work.

"Okay love, I'm going to shower. Can you order dinner for us?"

"Yeah. Movie night or game night?"

"Game night!" you said disappearing into the bedroom's in suite.

──✩₊⁺⋆☾⋆⁺₊✧──

"How does it feel to lose for the third time in a row?" she asked as you pouted your lips.

"You cheated this last round!"

"Well, all is fair in love and war." she tried to reason.

"And which one was it? Love or war?" she had distracted you, by removing her sweatshirt, staying in only a pair of shorts and a sports bra.

It would've been fine if she did it because she was hot. But she did it exactly to distract you. Flexing her muscles at any chance she got.

"Both. I wanted to win the game and I love to see you drooling." she said teasing you.

"I didn't drool!"

"You so did." she said pulling you to sit on her lap.

"Fine. How could I not? I'm dating the embodiment of a goddess."

That would have been enough, if she wasn't already turned on by you naturally.

"I think it's time we go to bed." she said with a naughty look on her face.

──✩₊⁺⋆☾⋆⁺₊✧──

"Good Morning my love." she said kissing your temple. You opened your eyes, taking in Lena's sleepy and puffy face, as a ray of light came through the window.

"Good morning liebling. Slept well?"

"The best I have, since the last time we slept in the same bed." she would always bring up the fact you guys were separated by over 400 kilometers, constantly.

"In a couple of years, this will be our lives everyday." you reassured her, the best you could every time.

"I'll die of happiness when that happens."

This woman made your heart feel like it was about to explode.

"How about we cook some breakfast? I can make your favorite."

"Yes! I've been craving it." giving you a kiss before getting up. "Let's go."

"I've never seen you get up so fast in my life." as you followed her to get cleaned up.

"I don't know how you make this taste so good. Usually healthy versions of things taste like cardboard." as you prepared the pancake batter.

"We can't really break our diets, so. Also it's just a good recipe."

"Don't play it on the recipe. It's all you. Take a complement please."

"Thank you, schatz. How about we make a smoothie to complement it?"

"I'll start cutting the fruits." but before she could turn, you grabbed her attention.

"Hey..." you said dabbing a finger in the liquid and tapping it on her nose.

"Oh, it's on." letting out a mischievous grin.

──✩₊⁺⋆☾⋆⁺₊✧──

You had the day all to yourselves. Not wanting to waste your time with anyone that wasn't each other, you decided upon watching movies. Only movies ever allowed to play by your girlfriend, was Disney movies. Not that you would ever complain. And you had chose the first one. Tangled.

Cuddling up to her. She was almost always the big spoon, only setting for other option when she felt extremely needy. So you laid on your back, as she placed her head on your chest, cuddling to your side the best she could, since you were a bit smaller than her.

You spent your time focusing partially on the movie and partially in gently combing her hair through you fingers and massaging her scalp.

"They are just like us. I'm obviously Flynn, good looking, funny, has a hot girlfriend."

"And I look nothing like Rapunzel."

"No, but you would probably defend yourself with a frying pan, if someone broke into the apartment."

She never failed at making you laugh. You loved that about her.

Every time you spent more time around eachother, she was more and more sure, of wanting to marry you. Of taking the decision to ask for a transfer.

She hadn't brought up yet. She was waiting till it felt like it was the right moment.

While you held each other under the blankets, you noticed she wasn't paying attention at all. So you brought up what you thought was bothering her.

"Aren't you supposed to be looking for a new apartment? I thought your lease was ending this summer."

"I've looked at some but, not one of them felt right." she mustered all her courage for her next words. It was now or now.

"It will only feel like a home, if I have you with me."

"What do you mean?"

"What if I moved to Munich?"

"That would be amazing! Are you planning to leave Wolfsburg next year?"

"Actually, I'm asking for a transfer over the summer."

"Are you messing with me?"

"I'm serious. All is fair in love and war, I want to move into a more competitive club and I want to be with you, close to you, not having to take a plane just to kiss you."

"You are?" You instantly jumped up on the bed.

"Yes." she said laughing as you jumped on the bed.

You landed on top of her. Pulling her into a hug.

"Love, I can't breathe properly." she said under you.

"Sorry, right, you have to be alive for that to happen." she pulled you back to her.

"I love you." she left a kiss on your forehead.

"And I love you." you said placing a kiss on her lips.

──✩₊⁺⋆☾⋆⁺₊✧──

Hope you like it! Thanks for sending this in 🩷

#woso x reader #lena oberdorf #lena oberdorf x reader #dfb frauen #futfem

[bethanydelleman]

Hello!

I rewatched Pride and Prejudice and it's surprising how my thoughts on it changed over the years 😃

When I was a teenager, Elizabeth Bennet was the plucky heroine that I wanted to be (lol) , now I'm older with a mortgage and responsibilities/bills, I'm like what was her plan in life?

Because she wasn't really educated per se (im thinking about how she answered lady Catherine about what she has to recommend her re:drawing, playing the piano etc) so I guess a 'career'(no matter how little it would be available at that time) was out of the question, but accepting marraige to the (admittedly obsequious) Mr Collins was also out of the question as well as Mr Darcys first proposal (which I get why sge turned it down!) ...I guess I'm asking what Elizabeth's plan for her future.

I've heard this from a lot of people upon re-read, "Why isn't Elizabeth more worried about her future?" I think there are a few things to note.

Early 1800s or not, Elizabeth is 20 years old when the novel begins (the average age of first marriage for women was 23). 27 year old Charlotte is in more of a future panic, but Elizabeth is still young. She has done practical thing like learn to play piano, but like most young people, she's probably just hoping for the best. And it's not like there is much she can actually do, Elizabeth is putting herself out there, she's dancing, she's playing piano, but otherwise she can just hurry up and wait. Her mother's marriage schemes are seen as vulgar and mostly backfire, and we would hardly want Elizabeth to act like Caroline. We read across Austen's novel's that women are largely stationary and it is the men who move in and out of their lives.

Also, I think a big part of Austen's point is that women are in a position where they feel the need to accept any and every proposal, because as Mr. Collins says, they may never receive another, but that this leads to misery (just look at the older couples and how many of them are unhappy!). While somewhat foolish from a financial perspective, Elizabeth is thinking about her long term happiness. She has watched her father turn bitter in an unequal relationship, she does not want that for herself. Elizabeth is choosing possible spinsterhood over being married to a person she knows she could not respect. Marrying for love, or at least on a basis of respect, is a big theme in Austen's novels. Let me add this quote from Mansfield Park to illustrate this point:

“I should have thought,” said Fanny, after a pause of recollection and exertion, “that every woman must have felt the possibility of a man’s not being approved, not being loved by some one of her sex at least, let him be ever so generally agreeable. Let him have all the perfections in the world, I think it ought not to be set down as certain that a man must be acceptable to every woman he may happen to like himself.... And, and—we think very differently of the nature of women, if they can imagine a woman so very soon capable of returning an affection as this seems to imply.”

So yes, Elizabeth Bennet isn't being financially prudent but she is being sensible in preserving her happiness. And for realism, we know Austen made this decision herself! She turned down an eligible offer.

Next, Mrs. Bennet is somewhat exaggerating: they are very unlikely to starve or be destitute. While it is never explicitly stated, Mr. Gardiner seems to be doing very well, and would probably very happily take at least Jane and Elizabeth if Mr. Bennet died. Mr. Philips is also doing well for a country attorney, he could take in his sister-in-law and nieces. It is going to suck, the Bennets should have planned better, but it's not the end of the world. We also do not know Mr. Bennet's age, but he may well only be in his late forties. He's no Mr. Woodhouse who may die tomorrow in a stiff breeze.

So what is Elizabeth's plan? She doesn't have one, she's 20. She's hoping life will throw her a man with a decent income that she doesn't hate. It works out in the end, but I don't think she would live to regret either turned down proposal if she had never met Darcy again.

#question response #elizabeth bennet #pride and prejudice #she doesn't have a plan #she's young #she just has staandards

[fatecantstopme]

From Past to Future

Pairing: Bucky Barnes x reader

Summary: After you and Bucky break up, you end up engaged to Steve. What happens when Bucky comes back into your life two years later?

Warnings: So much angst. Cheating, cursing, use of pet names. Some fluff. SMUT, unprotected sex (P in V), slight choking, metal arm kink (choking kink)

Two Years Ago

"Why are you always pushing me away?"

"It's better for you," he said calmly.

"Who are you to decide what's best for me?"

"I know myself better than anyone...I know my past. I know what kind of monster lives inside of me, so if anyone is equipped to decide you're better off without me, it's me."

"Don't I get a say in this?"

"No."

Anger threatened to bubble over. "I can't live like this, James. I can't. I would do anything for you, but I can't make you see that I can handle everything about you, including your past. I'm not afraid of you, but I'm afraid I'm going to lose myself if I keep fighting you like this."

He nodded slowly. "It's better this way."

"How can you be so calm?" you yelled. "Do I really mean so little to you? Did the past year mean nothing?"

He had the decency to look ashamed. "You mean everything to me, that's why I have to let you go."

Tears streamed down your face, a mixture of rage and pain clouding your features. "That is the stupidest thing I've ever heard."

He simply shrugged.

You hastily grabbed your jacket, keys, and purse before heading towards the door. You turned back to look at him one last time. "I hope you heal, Bucky, I really do. But I won't be around to see it."

You turned and left the apartment, shutting the door behind you. It felt final, as if you'd just shut the door on your old life. You'd left a piece of your soul in that apartment, a piece you prayed you could learn to live without.

**********

One Year Ago

"You are such a dork."

He grinned ear to ear with pride. "That could be the nicest thing you've ever said to me."

You laughed warmly and rolled your eyes. "What are you talking about? I'm always nice to you."

He raised his eyebrow teasingly.

"Alright, alright. I'm mostly nice to you."

He chuckled and tugged you against his chest. "I'll take it."

You giggled as you leaned back against him, gaze wandering out towards the ocean and the beautiful sunset beyond it. "Have you ever seen anything so beautiful?"

"Every morning."

You looked up at him in confusion.

"I'm blessed to wake up beside the most beautiful woman in the world every day," he said almost reverently.

Your expression softened and you turned to face him, putting your back against the balcony railing. You reached up and caressed his face, eyes shining with emotion. "Steve..." you whispered.

He placed a single finger to your lips to silence whatever you were about to say. He ducked his head to kiss you and you sighed as you melted into him.

After a few moments, he took your hand and guided you back through the open door and into the bedroom.

"I love you," he murmured against your skin as he laid you down on the soft bed.

"I love you too," you said softly, before you got lost in each other for hours.

**********

Two Months Ago

"Seriously? The wedding is in three months!" you yelled into your phone.

Your best friend, Natasha, came into the room when she heard you yell. "What's wrong?" she mouthed at you.

"Well the dress is pretty damn important, don't you think?" you seethed.

Natasha's eyes widened. "What's wrong with the dress?" she asked aloud.

You pulled the phone away from your face. "The tailor lost it."

"What the hell do you mean they lost it?"

You put the phone on speaker so Nat could hear. The man on the other end of the phone was explaining some sort of snafu with the dress and the shop moving locations.

Nat took the phone from your hand. "Let me handle this, okay?"

You sighed and nodded, grateful that she was there to take care of at least some of the wedding issues. Steve had been traveling a lot for work, so the wedding planning had fallen almost exclusively on you. If it hadn't been for Natasha, you were pretty certain you would have lost your mind.

The doorbell rang, bringing you out of your thoughts. You weren't expecting anyone, but you'd been getting a lot of deliveries lately thanks to the upcoming wedding.

You opened the door without checking to see who it was and the moment your eyes focused on the person standing on the porch, you found yourself wishing you'd looked first.

"Hey, (Y/N)."

"What are you doing here?" You winced slightly, the sound of your voice a bit harsher than you'd intended.

"I deserve that," he admitted softly. "I, um...well I heard you were getting married."

You stared at him in shock. "I'm sorry...you heard I was getting married, so you decided it would be a good idea to pay me a visit?"

He looked uncomfortable. "Yeah, well--umm, when you put it like that, it doesn't sound so good."

"You think?"

Once again, the harshness of your voice made you feel terrible. You knew exactly why you were being rude, but you couldn't bear to admit it to yourself. You hadn't expected to see him again, and certainly not like this. What was worse was you hadn't expected to feel like this when you did. Your palms were sweaty, your heart was racing, butterflies danced a merry jig in your stomach...you hated yourself for the emotions that washed over you at the mere sight of him. Hating him too made it that much easier.

"I just, I guess I just wanted to see how you were doing," he mumbled.

"I'm happy, thanks for asking. You can go now."

"(Y/N)..."

"No," you snapped. "No. Don't say my name like that. Don't you dare."

He looked down at the ground and muttered, "I'm sorry."

When you didn't say anything, he looked back up at you.

"I'm sorry, (Y/N). For all of it." His words began to come out in a rush, as if he was hoping you wouldn't have time to interrupt him. "You were right. You were right about all of it. I'm sorry I pushed you away. I'm sorry I hurt you. I thought I was doing the right thing, but I wasn't...and you--you deserve an apology. Even if it's two years too late."

Your heart clenched in your chest and tears pricked at the backs of your eyes. You were struggling to find the words to say, to fight through the storm of emotions swirling around you, when Nat came to your rescue.

She appeared beside you, took one look at the man standing on your porch, and said, "I don't know what the hell you're doing here, James, but you need to leave. You have no place in her life anymore...not after all the pain you caused her."

Bucky's blue eyes darkened with sadness. "I know," he said softly. "I just wanted to apologize...and say goodbye."

He turned and began to walk down the stairs. You watched him make his way to his bike before you ran down the steps after him. "Bucky!"

He turned to look at you in surprise. You'd stopped at the bottom of the steps, but he could see the emotion on your face as clearly as if you were an inch from him.

"I forgive you," you whispered so softly he almost missed it. If he hadn't been a super soldier, there was no way he would have heard you.

He nodded his acceptance--his gratefulness--before getting on his motorcycle and driving away.

"You okay?" Nat asked softly as she reached the bottom of the steps.

"Yeah," you lied.

She knew you well enough to recognize the lie, but she also knew better than to push you. When it came to Bucky, you'd always been vulnerable. You'd loved him with everything you had--a kind of fierceness she'd never seen before or since. She'd hoped Steve would change that...that loving him would help you forget Bucky, but when she looked at your face in that moment, she knew you'd never stop loving him.

**********

Present

"I'm getting married in a couple weeks," you said with a sigh. "Can you even believe it?"

"Yeah, babe, I can believe it," Natasha teased. "How excited are you?"

For the first time, you were grateful she wasn't there with you. "I can't wait," you lied. You hoped your voice conveyed excitement, even though your face did not.

"Are you sure you're alright?" Nat asked for the third time in your 20 minute conversation.

You groaned into the phone. "Nat, I'm fine. Now can you stop worrying about me and go enjoy your vacation?"

"It's not as fun without you here," she pouted.

You laughed. "I know, I know. I'm the life of the party."

She laughed too. "I miss you and I'll be home in a couple days."

"Miss you too. Give my love to Bruce."

"I will. Love you."

"Love you too."

You hung up the phone and leaned your head back against the sofa. You hadn't felt right in weeks...not since Bucky Barnes had shown up unannounced on your front porch.

You hated how he made you feel...hated that even after everything, you still loved him. You were engaged to be married to another man for God's sake, but here you were crying on your couch over a relationship that died two years prior.

You hadn't mentioned anything about Bucky's sudden appearance to Steve. You didn't want to upset him...or at least that's what you told yourself. Seeing him had brought back years of emotions you'd buried long before. You didn't think you could explain any of it to Steve without him realizing what you'd been denying for two years: you still loved Bucky.

You'd managed to convince yourself that it was okay to love two people at once...because you did love Steve. You really did. But you would be lying to yourself if you said you loved him more than Bucky. You were grateful you didn't have to choose between the two. You were marrying Steve and that's the way it needed to be. Steve loved you so much and he treated you like a queen. How could you want anything else?

A knock on your door brought you out of your thoughts. At least this time you were expecting a delivery, so you didn't think twice as you opened the door.

"Bucky..." you whispered.

He was standing there, flowers in hand, blue eyes warm and gentle.

"What are you doing here?" you asked softly.

"I needed to see you."

"Bucky, you can't be here."

"Please, (Y/N). Can we just talk?"

"I'm getting married," you said, less firmly than you'd intended.

"I know, doll. That's why I need to talk to you."

Against your better judgment, you turned to the side, allowing him entry.

He stepped past you into the foyer and handed you the flowers. "Um, these are for you."

"Thank you," you said softly. "I'll just...get a vase."

He followed you into the kitchen. "Your home is beautiful."

"Thanks."

He stood awkwardly on the other side of your kitchen island, hands at his sides as if he wasn't sure what he should do with them.

"So...what did you wanna talk about?"

"Us."

"Bucky, we can't--"

"Just let me get this out," he begged. "If you hate what I have to say, you can throw me out...but just listen for a moment."

Tears welled in your eyes and every sensible part of you screamed at you to make him leave, but you couldn't force yourself to move--couldn't say a word.

He took your silence as permission to speak. "When we first met, I was a broken shell of the man I used to be. My past was still so fresh in my mind and I hated myself more passionately than any person should. When you came into my life, I desperately wanted to be the man I was before Hydra...but I couldn't. I was scared of hurting you, scared of what I was capable of and what I might do to you if I lost control. So I pushed you away...until you finally got tired of it. I don't think I'd ever had a broken heart before that day."

Tears streamed steadily down your face as you listened to him speak. You were still frozen in place, his words gluing your feet to the floor.

"It took me a while to realize I could never be that man again...that young, carefree, charming guy. I figured if I couldn't be him, then I was just the monster Hydra made me. All that was left was the Winter Soldier." He paused for a moment. "I didn't want to be him, but it wasn't until I was in Wakanda that things really changed...I changed."

"You were in Wakanda?" you asked softly.

He nodded. "For a while, yeah. I dealt with a lot of my issues and I don't have to fear the trigger words anymore...they have no effect on me. But it wasn't until I received my pardon that I started going to therapy. At first it was because I had to, but after a while, I wanted to go...it was helping me in ways I didn't know I needed. I'm not the person I was before Hydra, but I'm not the Winter Soldier either. I'm just a different version of me...but at the end of the day, I'm still Bucky."

"I'm glad you got the help you needed, Buck. I truly am," you said softly. "But what does any of this have to do with me?"

"I'm getting to that," he answered quickly. "Losing you hurt me infinitely more than I expected it to and at first I wanted to get help so maybe you would want me..." he trailed off for a moment. "I eventually realized I needed to change for myself, not for you. I'm by no means perfect, but I am comfortable with who I am now."

He sighed and ran his hands through his hair. "Look, I know my timing is terrible, but I need to say this or I'm going to regret it for the rest of my unnaturally long life." He took a deep breath before continuing, "I fell in love with you the moment I met you. I loved you every day of our relationship and every day since--I've never stopped loving you. I don't think I can--and trust me, I've tried. You've held my heart in the palm of your hand since we first met..."

Bucky took a step towards you, then another, then another, until he was mere inches from you. "You are my heart, (Y/N), and I don't want it back."

"What do you want, Bucky?" you whispered.

"You," he said simply. "You're all I've ever wanted."

You should have pushed him away. You should have told him to leave. Hell, you should have left...but you didn't do any of those things. You didn't pull away when he reached out to wipe your tears from your cheeks. You didn't stop him when he cupped your face in his hands. And you didn't fight him when he pressed his lips against yours.

Instead, you pulled him closer to you as you returned the kiss--the feeling of his lips igniting a fire deep inside you that you'd never felt with anyone else.

What began as a loving kiss, quickly turned to pure desire, a passion so explosive it couldn't be contained. You practically tore each other's clothes off, leaving a trail of clothing from the kitchen to your bedroom.

A tiny voice in the back of your mind told you this was wrong...that you should stop...but you ignored it. Soon, all coherent thoughts slipped from your mind, replaced by overwhelming pleasure.

Sex with Bucky had always been incredible, but this was so far beyond every encounter you'd ever had before. He was comfortable, confident, and so sure of himself--it was the sexiest thing you'd ever seen.

"Bucky," you gasped as he finally entered you after relentlessly teasing you with his mouth, pulling orgasm after orgasm from your body.

"Fuck," he grunted. "I forgot how good you felt."

"So big," you whispered.

He grinned. "Yeah? Well this pussy was made for me, baby. I could stay here forever."

You'd be lying if you said that didn't sound like heaven to you. He felt so incredible...every sensation felt heightened in a way you hadn't felt in years.

His cock brushed against your g-spot with each thrust, turning you into a moaning mess beneath him. "Shit, doll...you gotta stop squeezing me like that or I'm not gonna last."

You'd long since lost control of your body--it was acting entirely of its own volition by this point. All you could do was moan and gasp and dig your nails into his back as he plunged into you again.

Back when you'd first started dating, you'd told Bucky you wanted him to choke you with his metal hand during sex, something he'd vehemently refused to do. He'd been terrified of hurting you, but now as he looked down at you, he found himself wanting to try it.

He gently placed his left hand against the column of your throat, putting only enough pressure for you to know what he was doing. Your eyes widened before rolling back, a moan of need breaking free from your lips.

"You like that, doll?" he whispered.

You nodded rapidly.

He smiled and gave the tiniest squeeze to your throat. You gasped loudly and your nails dug into the flesh of his right bicep. He continued to fuck you as fast and hard as he could, left hand never leaving your throat.

He could tell you were close, but he didn't want you to cum until he did, so he waited until the very last moment before giving your throat another small squeeze. You screamed his name as you came, your orgasm triggering his own. He called out your name as he filled you with his seed, hand slipping from your neck to caress your face.

Bucky's stamina was truly a thing to behold even now. He hovered over you, lips pressed against yours in a heated kiss. Somehow, his cock was still hard, despite having just had the best orgasm in years. Instead of pulling out of you, he began to move again, your shared releases mixing together to provide extra lubricant.

"Bucky," you moaned softly. "What--"

"You didn't really think I was done with you yet, did you doll?"

The sensations began as almost painful, the sensitivity making it hard to enjoy. Within moments though, those sensations turned to pleasure and the need began to pool in your belly again.

"Do you want me to stop?" he asked teasingly.

"Don't you dare."

He chuckled darkly and sped up his movements, earning a pleased moan from you.

The two of you were so lost in passion and pleasure, neither of you heard the front door open. Even Bucky missed the telltale signs of someone walking through the house towards the bedroom door.

"What the hell is going on here?"

The sound of your fiancé's voice brought you suddenly back to reality. You wanted to sink into the floor and never come back out.

Bucky's first instinct was to protect you, but when he turned his head to look at the newcomer, he felt nothing but shame.

"Bucky?" Steve said in shock.

"I can explain..." Bucky began as he removed himself from the bed, grabbing a blanket to cover himself with.

You sat up, clutching the sheet to your chest, eyes wide as you stared at Steve. "Steve..."

"Don't," he snapped. "Don't you dare try to talk your way out of this, (Y/N)."

"It wasn't her fault--" Bucky tried.

"Save it. I know you were pissed at me for dating her after you broke up, so maybe I deserved the revenge," Steve said angrily. He turned his gaze back to you, hurt filling his beautiful blue eyes. "But you? I've done nothing but love you. I treated you the way you deserved to be treated...I did everything right."

"Steve, I'm so sorry," you whispered.

"That doesn't change anything." He turned to walk away and you jumped up to follow him, grabbing your robe on your way out.

"Steve, wait--"

"What do you think you could possibly say to fix this, (Y/N)?" he yelled.

You took a step back in shock. Steve never yelled. Ever. "I don't...I don't know..."

"Exactly." Tears pressed against the backs of his eyes and his voice was shaky. "It's over, (Y/N). I'm done."

You hadn't expected him to say anything differently, but it still hurt to hear it. You looked down at your left hand and saw the diamond ring he'd given you. You didn't cry as you slid it off your finger and handed it to him...nor did you cry as you watched him walk out the door and out of your life.

A few moments later, Bucky appeared behind you fully dressed. "(Y/N)..." he began.

You held up your hand to silence him. "Don't--just don't." You stared at the door your fiancé--ex-finacé--had just walked through. "I can't believe I ever thought I was a good person," you whispered.

"You are a good person," Bucky countered, taking a step towards you.

"Please just leave."

"(Y/N)..."

"Just go. I can't even bear to look at you right now."

Bucky knew better than to argue. He loved you more than anything, but he knew he'd made a mistake. He never intended to sleep with you...it just happened.

He shrugged his jacket on and walked out the door, leaving you on the other side of it. Your life had been shattered into pieces because of a choice you'd made...you and Bucky.

**********

"You did WHAT?!" Natasha yelled.

You'd called her a few minutes after Bucky had left to tell her what happened. "I slept with Bucky," you repeated.

"What in God's name were you thinking?"

"I wasn't," you whispered.

"Jesus, (Y/N/N)," she sighed. "Are you okay?"

"No."

"What are you going to do?"

"I have no idea. I managed to blow up my life in a single afternoon."

"It's not that bad, okay? We'll figure it out. Just...don't tell Steve."

"Too late."

"What?"

"He walked in on us."

"WHAT?"

You made the sound of an explosion, complete with hand movements she couldn't see.

"Okay, don't do anything crazy. I'll be home in a couple hours."

"Nat, don't cut your vacation short because of me."

"It's one day, (Y/N). Besides, you need me."

You wanted to deny it, but you really did need her. "Thanks," you whispered.

"You're welcome. I'll see you in a few hours."

**********

Two weeks had gone by since you'd slept with Bucky and broken up with Steve. Natasha had stayed with you for the first week...you were much too upset to be left alone.

You spent the second week by yourself...you needed the time alone to figure things out. Natasha had been helpful, but she'd also been upset with you for ruining things with Steve over Bucky. She'd always hated that he broke your heart.

As much as you loved Natasha, you knew you needed advice from someone else. You wanted to believe everything Bucky had told you, but you were too jaded to believe him without proof.

Steve was Bucky's best friend before the two of you had started dating and they really hadn't talked since. Bucky became closer to Sam Wilson over time and you knew they were best friends now. You decided Sam was the person you needed to talk to, so you called him up and asked him to meet you for lunch.

Sam hadn't been surprised when you'd called him...Bucky had told him everything that had happened. What did surprise him was that you wanted to meet up to talk.

He contemplated calling Bucky to tell him, but he decided it would probably be better to talk to you first. So he got himself together and went out to meet you for lunch.

You were already seated at a table in the back of the restaurant when Sam walked in. You waved him over and he took a seat across from you.

"Hey, (Y/N). How are you?" Sam asked as he sat down.

"Honestly, Sam, I've been better."

He was a little surprised by your candidness, and he wasn't sure if he should play dumb or admit Bucky had talked to him already. He opted for something in the middle of the two, "Bucky mentioned he went to see you a couple weeks ago."

"Did he say anything else?" you asked uncomfortably.

Sam knew better than to try and verbally lie to you, so he simply shook his head.

"He may have left some things out," you said softly. "Steve and I broke up."

Sam's eyes widened. He did his best to act surprised as he asked, "Why? What happened?"

"Bucky happened," you said honestly.

"What do you mean?"

You closed your eyes for a second...not quite ready to admit you'd done something terrible. "He shows up back in my life after two years and says a bunch of shit that I don't know what to do with. Who does he think he is? I was happy, Sam. I was getting married in a couple weeks!"

Sam sighed. "I know, (Y/N)...and I've known you for a long time, so I'm just going to say this: you were content with Steve. He never rocked the boat, never challenged you or upset you, never did anything to hurt you--but he also never made you laugh so hard you couldn't breathe, he never made you smile so wide your face hurt, and I know for a fact he never loved you the way Bucky does."

You stared at your friend in silence. You knew Bucky had loved you two years before and he'd professed his love to you mere weeks ago...what you'd spent two years denying to everyone including yourself, was how you felt about Bucky. You'd never loved anyone the way you loved him and as much as you cared for Steve, it never came close to how you felt about Bucky.

"It's okay to admit you still love him," Sam said gently.

"Is he different, Sam? I mean really, truly different? Because I can't--" you took a shaky breath. "I can't go through that again."

Sam shook his head. "He's not the same man he was before. You know how I felt about him when we first met...we didn't become friends just to fill some kind of void in our lives. I love the guy like a brother, but I would never lie to you (Y/N). You're family too."

You swallowed thickly. "Natasha says I should move on."

Sam waved his hand dismissively. "Natasha doesn't know Bucky like I do. She knew him before...she has no idea who he is now."

"I know," you whispered. "That's why I wanted to talk to you."

Sam cocked his head to the side. "You wanted to know if Bucky had really changed."

You nodded.

"Because you still love him."

"I never stopped," you admitted.

Sam offered you a gentle smile. "You should tell him that."

Your eyes were teary as you looked up at your friend. "I know."

**********

Two days later, you were standing on the front steps of Bucky's apartment. Your stomach was filled with butterflies and you were quite certain you were moments away from throwing up. You couldn't remember the last time you'd felt this anxious.

Your decision to come here had been spur of the moment and you suddenly regretted that decision. You'd hit the buzzer for Bucky's apartment, but no one responded. Like an idiot, you hadn't even bothered to check if he was home before coming all the way over there.

You turned around to leave, feeling like a fool, when you heard the door open behind you and a voice call your name. When you turned back around, Bucky was standing in the threshold, looking at you in surprise.

"Oh, I umm--I thought you weren't home."

He gestured to the call box. "The damn speaker is broken again, so you couldn't hear my response. I woulda buzzed you up, but that's also not working right..."

"Oh."

"Yeah," he mumbled. "So...what brings you by?"

You were one hundred percent certain he could hear your heart beating even without his super hearing and your breathing had become obviously shallow. You felt like an absolute moron standing on his front stoop, staring at him in silence. He was beautiful and it always took your breath away...even now.

"I thought we should talk," you blurted.

Bucky looked slightly surprised, but he nodded in agreement. "Why don't you come inside?" He turned to go back through the door.

When you made no move to follow him, he stopped and said, "Or we can just stand out here..."

You shook your head, partially in response to his statement and partially to clear your head. You didn't say anything, but you took a step towards him, so he turned to guide you up to his apartment.

"Sorry about all the stairs. I like being up higher."

"It's fine."

Once inside his apartment, he gestured for you to have a seat before heading into the kitchen. "Can I get you anything? Maybe something to drink?"

You'd never felt so awkward in your entire life and you knew you weren't going to be able to say anything you wanted to like this. "Do you have whiskey?"

Bucky chuckled lightly. "Always. On the rocks?"

"Is there any other way?"

He laughed. "Touché."

He brought you the drink and sat down on the couch across from you with his own. "Please sit, (Y/N)."

You didn't want to be any weirder than you already were, so you took a seat on the chair beside you. You took a long drink from your glass, almost draining it.

"Should I have made it a double?" he teased lightly.

You looked down at your glass in embarrassment. "Sorry, I'm just--nervous, I guess."

"No need to apologize," he said gently. "And no need to be nervous."

You laughed breathily. "I think I'll have to disagree on that one." You downed the rest of your drink and sat the glass on the table in front of you.

"Would you like another one?"

"No--I uhh, I think one will be enough."

He nodded. "So...what did you wanna talk about?"

The speed with which you'd ingested the whiskey ensured you felt it almost immediately. You took a deep breath, allowing the liquor to calm your nerves. "I wanted to talk about what happened."

"When?"

Your eyes snapped up to his. "Seriously?"

"Ahh...so this is about the other day."

"Yeah, Bucky, it's about the other day. Ya know, when I cheated on my fiancé with you and broke his heart? That day."

"His heart? Not yours?"

You didn't appreciate the tone in his voice, so you snapped, "No, you managed to do that all on your own."

He sighed and sat his drink down. "That was two years ago, (Y/N)."

"Doesn't mean it doesn't still hurt."

"I know, and I'm sorry. Hurting you was never what I wanted. But we needed to be apart and the only way that was going to happen was if I hurt you. You just wouldn't leave," he finished softly.

"Because I loved you, Bucky! Is that really so terrible?"

"No, of course not. But I never would have gotten the help I needed if you hadn't left me...if I didn't have a reason to get better."

"I wasn't reason enough?"

"You were my reason and that was the problem. I needed to do it for myself and I couldn't do that if you were there."

You were quiet for a moment. "Leaving you was the hardest thing I ever did, James. I didn't think my heart would ever heal."

"How'd you think I felt when you got together with my best friend?"

You winced. "It just sort of...happened."

He sighed. "I wanted you to be happy and if Steve was the one who made you happy, then I had to accept that. But that's why I left, (Y/N). I couldn't stand to be in the same city as you two anymore. The possibility of running into you was too painful to risk."

"I'm really sorry, Buck. I didn't do it to hurt you."

He looked up at you with soft eyes. "I know that. It's not in your nature, nor is it in Steve's. You can't help who you fall in love with."

"I missed you...so much, and Steve--Steve understood how that felt. Better than anyone."

"Did you love him?"

"Yes."

"Were you really planning on spending the rest of your life with him?"

"Yes."

"If he hadn't caught us...would you still be marrying him?"

"I...I--I couldn't. I can't. It wouldn't be fair to him. Not when I feel--what I feel."

"And what do you feel?" Bucky asked softly.

"Bucky..."

"Please."

You sighed heavily. "When I first got together with Steve, I still loved you more than anything. Over time, I suppressed that love just enough that I could open myself up to loving someone else. After a while...it got easier and easier to pretend I felt nothing at all for you. And then you barged back into my life."

Bucky didn't say a word, too scared to stop the flow of emotions coming from you.

"You barged in and you brought all of those emotions back to the surface. You made me remember everything I'd ever felt for you--and I wanted to hate you for it. I wanted to hate you so badly, but I couldn't. I can't find it in me to hate the person I love the most. I never fell out of love with you, Bucky, I just hid it really well."

He wanted to speak, to say something to acknowledge what you just said, but he couldn't find the words. Instead, he got up and came to stand directly in front of you, before kneeling down and grabbing your hands in his. "I think this is the moment where I'm supposed to say something deep and profound, but all I can think to say is, 'I love you too'."

Tears filled your eyes. "That's more than enough," you whispered.

He pulled himself up slightly so he could reach your face. He gently pulled you down towards him, kissing you with a loving intensity that set your soul aflame.

Loving Bucky Barnes just felt right, as if it was all you were ever meant to do. He was the love your life and being here with him in this moment reminded you of how good it felt to be in the arms of someone you loved with every part of you.

When you'd left Bucky two years ago, you'd left a piece of your soul with him, a piece you'd worried you wouldn't be able to live without. You'd learned how to, but it wasn't the same--you weren't the same.

For the first time in years, you felt whole--complete. If life was a giant puzzle, Bucky was your missing piece. And in the darkness of his bedroom, wrapped in his arms, you made a promise to love him forever--a promise he returned in kind.

#bucky barnes x reader #bucky barnes x reader smut #bucky barnes smut #james buchanan barnes #marvel smut

[togetherhearted]

Can I request Buddha, Qin and Brunhilde with a stronger! fem s/o :D? Reader is extremely chaotic around anyone that's not them, during most of the gods history, she did NOT give them a brake, constantly braking rules, braking things, just being a pain and all of it out of spite, she lives to watch their down fall and the gods can't do anything about it because, one, she's important, two, she's too strong to deal with but when she's around them (the character) she's peaceful and calm, she normally doesn't say much and just hangs around them, naps, reads, plays with their hair, anything calming (basically the opposite)

Of course I can! Hope it is alright!

BUDDHA,QIN AND BRUNHILDE WITH A STRONG!S/O

Dealing with you was a hustle;every deity knew.

They warned Buddha of that but he was as rebellious as you and didn't listen.

It was surprising to see that around him you were the chilliest person they ever met.

Was probably his influence?

Influence or not, the other gods made sure to talk to you and ask for things only when Buddha was around so you couldn't move a finger on them.

They would find you in piles of pillows; head on his lap, reading a book while he was enjoying candies.

They were thankful for making you calm.

Qin chose you for your strength, your wild side. It amused and fascinated him. A perfect lover to have forever by his side. Only the best for a king like him.

What increased his amusement was noticing how placid you actually were when he spent time with you.

-How lovely...- He would whisper to you as you scooted closer to his body while he was busy reading papers. Your eyes closed and in a deep slumber.

No one had idea how Brunhilde could be with you. You were a pain, a fierce opponent, never stopping like a river and yet the woman just smirked at them.

-I've got this-

She simply said, knowing how you really where when alone with her.

-I heard from a little birdie- Brunhilde would catch your attention.You stopped the tea cup mid-air -You broke another shelf today-

A lazy smile where on your lips now, you took a sip calmly. It was enough for her to understand that it really happened.

-Oh...you're incorrigible-

#x reader #snv #snv x reader #ror #ror x reader #record of ragnarok #record of ragnarok x reader #shuumatsu no Valkirye #buddha #buddha x reader #qin shi huang #qin shi huang x reader #brunhilde #Brunhilde x reader

[clonefrce99]

Life on its form

Any driver x fem!ooc (only mentioned as she)

WARNINGS: driver dies, there are references to depression (mentions of giving up). HEAVILY ANGST - if you find something else, let me know.

Also there's probably some grammar mistakes here and there.

A/N: it's the saddest thing i've written in a year but I couldn't waste the idea. Hope you enjoy :)

From books to movies, love seems to be this enormous thing that works like missing pieces from a puzzle.

Love is supposed to fulfill the empty spaces.

And is very common to hear people say: “It takes effort, and sometimes it’s tiring. But it’s worth it.”

So, during every single relationship, she tried. She tried her best to make it work – because that’s what it takes, right? To some she was loud, to others she was more of an introverted. Fun but not funny, you know? At one point, to one of her partners, she was just enough. She never got too angry or too sad or too happy.

Her partner loved when their friends talked about her. About how good she was, how they wished their own partners were like that. She never complained when he went out with his buddies, wasn't jealous when he got too close to another woman. She was a good girl. His good girl.

It was tiring. But… love requires that. You need to give to receive. And they were good. They were also enough to her. Even when they got mad, like mad-mad, everything was just fine.

For four whole months, they had planned this trip to enjoy the always so beautiful and fun European summer. When the day arrived, they simply said she should go alone, that they weren't on the mood and would be a terrible company. And, on top of all that, they said:

"You should go alone, make friends. It's gonna be good for you. For us, you know? To be apart."

Great. She thought. That clearly meant the relationship wasn't on its best moment. Ups and downs (even though it was more downs than ups). That’s what relationships are made of. No need to think any deeper.

So was right there, on that small country on the northen coast of the Mediterranean Sea, that she learned that love is actually simple and effortless. It comes, stays and requires nothing.

He taught her that. All he wanted from her was sweet nothing.

What was supposed to be a four week trip, became two months. And then three. Between somewhere here and there, she texted her now ex to let them know she wasn't coming back.

All her friends and family thought she had lost it. Who ends a three years relationship because of some random person they just met? They truly thought she had gone mad (to which she responded: yes! Madly in love!).

Was after a great night where they lived, laughed and loved, that he told her he was a Formula 1 driver. She imediatly wanted to cry. Not because of fear of everything being too much, or because he started to ramble about his plans with his ever so excited smile.

She cried because, for the first time in a long time, she felt safe. It didn't matter what would happen, if he was famous, if she would need to deal with all types of people.

He had her. She had him. Nothing else mattered.

When they had to leave the little world they had created during those months and go back to reality, all they felt was deep and raw love.

And then the months became a year. Then a year and a half. And then two years. And then they were living together. What started with a small space on his drawer, became a full section on his closet.

When routine started to catch up, during times where her work demanded more and so did his, with more and more races being add to the calendar, they decided to create a sort of system. Something silly. Something them.

They downloaded some apps for couples, so when they couldn't be together, they could still do things together. Their favourite was one where they could draw. Also, at the end of each day, they would write down to each other those detailed text messages talking about all things.

He also started to leave notes on the pockets of her clothing before leaving. Sometimes he would write poetry, something to make her laugh, or some sort of reminder of how much he loved her. He also loved to leave things with the notes: small gifts, from jewelry to chocolate.

No matter what happened, she knew it would always have something.

But it’s been three months since his accident. Three months she hadn’t found a note, the drawing app widget is nothing more than a white empty board and there is no more detailed messages.

She hadn’t attended the race that weekend, having too much work to do. They did made plans for going to this fancy restaurant he always wanted to try, though. Such a shame they never made it.

Would be a lie to say she remembers much from the days after the news. Actually, she barely remember the day itself. She knows she was the first to get to the hospital, that she was the one to call the family (both hers and his), and then talk with the team.

Some said they were sorry, some tried to find something to blame trying hard to sooth the situation.

But that was life on its form.

Even if it had someone or something to blame, what difference would make? He wasn’t coming back. She wouldn’t hear his laugh anymore, or his tantrums, or his rambling. She would never see again the way he used to lean against every surface he could, or how bad he was at hiding his emotions.

She would never touch him again.

And grief it’s different to every person. There’s no right or wrong way to feel it – as her therapist said. People feel what they feel when they feel and there's nothing you can do to change that.

She accepted easily, better than she thought she would, at least. She did got depressed on the first days, of course, but she kept on going. Always foward.

For first week of her work vacation, she went to her family house. No one dared to say anything. She was laughing, going out with old friends - what was surprising, considering they were sure she would give up.

But that's something she could never do.

She does have something to live for. The memories of every single moment they had together, good or bad, are worth living for.

Now it's been two days since she came back. The apartment is so quiet she allows herself to wonder why she didn't cried yet. From the balcony, she sees the sun making its way towards the line where the sky mets the sea. In a few minutes, it'll also be gone.

She smiles. Once, her therapist asked her "in one word, and just one, describe your love and why"

She answered that their love was just like the ocean. Not because it's unstable or deep, as some people say. She chose the ocean because it's endless and most likely, it won't ever go away. Now thinking better, she should've had chosen waves instead of ocean: always moving, always coming and going but never dissipating completely.

And that’s what their love is: something that will never just go. Now, some days she feels more, some days she feels less. But it’s there.

With this thought, she decides to change her clothes and do something she's been doing her best to avoid: to wear the last cardigan he bought. It was during that week, it came inside of a beautiful box and he had smiled saying, "i have great plans for this one".

Making her way to the small beach in front of their building, she takes a deep breath and fels that stupid feeling again. The one that puts her on the edge of something that never comes no matter how hard she tries. As if there's something waiting right around the corner.

The sky is now a mix of purple, pink and orange. It's beautiful. The wind becomes cold while she just stands there, feeling the sand wrap her feet. The waves crash, coming and going and then coming again.

It's when a bird flies too close to her that she puts her hands on both pockets. A reflex. Something so normal but that means a lot, specially when she feels one of her hands brush against something.

And there it is. She finally went over the edge, finally saw what is around the corner. Her eyes gets watery, she can feel tears falling down her cheeks and sees the wet dots being created on the sand. She laughs. Suddenly life is less heavy.

Her body almost gives in, but she manages to sit properly. With another deep breath, she sees what he left for her.

Two years ago, during a race week on the US, they managed to scape go to Santa Monica. He insisted on going to the photo booth and she hated every single one of the pictures. He told her to chose one to keep, the others could go.

And he carried that one with him everywhere. Either on his wallet or inside of his helmet.

And now the picture is on her hand, wrapped in a small paper. She's sure it was already there when he gave it to her, and when he kissed her goodbye for the last time.

On his crap handwriting, was written: a memory for you to keep until I come back.

Seing the sun finally disappear and the moon rise on the other side, she reliases she created another memory for her to keep on living for.

#formula 1 imagines #any driver x reader #charler leclerc x reader #lewis hamilton x reader #daniel ricciardo x reader #pierre gasly x reader #lando norris x reader #esteban ocon x reader #yuki tsunoda x reader #zhou guanyu x reader #logan sargeant x reader #nyck de vries x reader #mick schumacher x reader #felipe drugovich x reader #alex albon x reader #max verstappen x reader #valtteri bottas x reader #sergio perez x reader #lance stroll x reader #fernando alonso x reader #sebastian vettel x reader #oscar piastri x reader #carlos sainz x reader #george russell x reader #kevin magnussen x reader #nico hulkenberg x reader #formula 1 x reader #daniel ricciardo angst #mick schumacher angst #artsy writes

[oneforthemunny]

A song that reminds you of each of your Eddie's + reader- and GO!

ooh wait this is a fun one. ok i had to think about this one but i think i've found them:

boxer!eddie and reader remind me of somethin' stupid by frank sinatra and nancy sinatra. two little black cats in love, and the chorus "and have a drink or two, and then i go and spoil it all by saying somethin' stupid like, "i love you". i can see it in your eyes that you despise the same old lies you heard the night before. and though it's just a line to you, for me it's true and never seemed so right before."

rockstar!eddie and nepobaby!reader will forever remind me of faithfully by journey. i mean, "and lovin' a music man ain't always what it's supposed to be. oh, girl, you stand by me. circus life under the big-top world. we all need the clowns to make us smile. through space and time, always another show. wonderin' where I am lost without you. i'm forever yours, faithfully."

this one is going to be so fucking corny and idgaf!!! but for modern!eddie and mean girl, idk why true love by p!nk always comes to mind. "at the same time, i wanna hug you, i wanna wrap my hands around your neck. you're the only love i've ever known. but i hate you, i really hate you, so much i think it must be true love. just once try to wrap your little brain around my feelings, just once please try no to be so mean."

cowboy!eddie and sweet girl have always and will forever remind me of love is like a butterfly by the one and mother fucking only dolly parton our lord and savior. "love makes your heart feel strange inside, it flutters like soft wings in flight. love is like a butterfly, a rare and gentle thing. i feel it when you kiss me, it happens when you're with me, that rare and gentle feelin' that i feel inside. everyday is springtime, and i am only happy when you are by my side." tbh i could quote the whole goddam song.

bouncer!eddie and bartender!reader this is another corny as fuck on so hold on, but it's you shook me all night long by acdc lmaooo. sexual chemistry through the roof, so much that it's shocking and appalling?? "she was a fast machine, she kept her motor clean. she was the best damn woman that I ever seen. she's one of a kind, she's just mine, all mine." idk it's silly and slutty and fun just like them!

for janitor!eddie and teacher!reader i've always felt like forever by the beach boys is their song. super sappy and romantic and devoted and that's how they are to each other <3 "if every word i said could make you laugh, i'd talk forever. i asked the sky just what we had, it shone forever. let the love i have for you, live in your heart and be forever. forever, i've been so happy loving you."

older!eddie and reader, this one was hard bc i felt like there was so many to chose from, but ultimately i went with the one song that always takes me back to them and that's chemtrails over the country club by lana. the more i listen, the more it's their song bc "go to the market, the kids' swimming pools. me and my sister just playing it cool, under the chemtrails over the country club. meet you for coffee at the elementary schools. we laugh about nothing as the summer gets cool. it's beautiful how this deep normality settles down over me. i'm not bored or unhappy, i'm still so strange and wild. washing my hair, doing the laundry. late-night tv, i want you only. it's never too late, baby, so don't give up."domestic and sweet.

this is also so silly and sweet and the best thing ever but for hockey!eddie and reader i fucking love the song hello, hello by elton john (yes from gnomeo and juliet lmaoooo). "never gonna find anything to change my mind, famous last lines of a fool. hello, hello. my, my, my, what have we here? sniffing all the flowers, running through an autumn shower, compare it to someone else like me." so fucking silly and so romantic like it's them. happy and silly and in love.

and i know you guys are making fun of me and i don't give one fuck bc i know you're about to do it again with this one bc it's coming completely out of left fucking field for these two!! for mafia!eddie and reader... babe i'm saying it, it's i see the light from tangled yes it fucking is. "all that time never even knowing, just how blind i've been. now i'm here, blinking in the starlight. and it's warm and real and bright, and the world has somehow shifted. all at once everything looks different, now that i see you. all those years living in a blur. if she's here, it's crystal clear, i'm where i'm meant to go." and listen, i could write a goddam essay on how this is them, both of them. living their lives before, thinking they're content, until they met the other and now they're confused how they were ever without the other. real ride or die shit.

for dom!eddie and sub!reader, i always think of i don't want to miss a thing by aerosmith lol. really bc they're a little chaotic but they really do love each other sm. true soulmate shit. "i could spend my life in this sweet surrender, where a moment with you is a moment i treasure. i don't wanna miss one smile, i don't wanna miss one kiss. i just wanna be with you, right her with you, just like this. and i just wanna hold you close, feel your heart so close to mine, and just stay here in this moment for all the rest of time." overly passionate and lovey and dramatic which is just their style.

#oneforthemunny #munnytalks #rockstar!eddie munson #cowboy!eddie munson #mafia!eddie munson #older!dilf!eddie munson #modern!eddie munson #eddie munson au #janitor!eddie munson #eddie munson #bouncer!eddie munson #hockey player!eddie munson #hockey!eddie munson #boxer!eddie munson #dom!eddie munson #eddie munson x reader #eddie munson x you #munnysings

[bloodyhoon]

omg I've been waiting to send skz request 🙇🏻‍♀️ I'm an engene but CHRISTOPHER BANG is so hot so how about chris being your long time bff who you didn't have a relationship with but he is secretly in love with you for a long time and your boyfriend who was an ass cheats on you and breaks your heart and you go to stay with Chris for sometime to have his comfort and the loving gentleman he is he makes you feel so much better with little gifts and cuddles which ends up in you starting to want him sexually and who is he to say no to fucking you .. that's all ^_^ thanks

i'm an engene, but i'm also a stay so yes, this man is one of the hottest but kind and gentleman i could have ever seen, and he makes me feel so delulu like i want him to be my boyfriend🫠

pairing: bestfriend! bang chan x female! reader.

genre: angst, smut.

warnings: infidelity, breakup, mention of crying, protected sex, and idk. english is not my first language so there may be grammal or spelling errors. I wrote this without editing or proofreading, I hope it's not that bad.

words: 1.8K

--

all your friends had warned you; your boyfriend was a womanizer. but of course, you would never have imagined it while he continued to manipulate and deceive you with the nice words and romantic outings that you had, until he broke your heart by cheating on you with your cousin. so typical. years of relationship thrown away and you couldn't even kick him out of the apartment you shared because the bastard had made you abandon everything about yourself and move in with him, who was the owner of the place. so with a broken heart and your suitcase, you moved to your best friend who welcomed you with open arms. it really wasn't that easy, at first you just wanted to stay for a while until things "sorted out" but chan had told you that he would let you live with him as long as you wanted as long as you left your useless boyfriend. you weren't angry with him for that condition, in fact, you were grateful for it because you knew that the moment you decided to accept "taking some time" with your boyfriend, he would find a way to manipulate you into getting back with him at some point. so now there you were, single, depressed and with a broken heart, but in good company living with your best friend of a lifetime.

"how do you feel?"

that question made you come out of your own thoughts as you watched the leaves from the trees slowly fall through the window. you had been there for a couple of days, in your pajamas and with your mind distracted from everything, and chan couldn't do anything but accompany you so that you don't feel alone, so every time he had the opportunity to get close to you and be with you, took advantage of it to bring you gifts like candy or flowers, which he knew weren't much but your eyes recovered a little of that shine that he liked so much in you.

"i'm not okay, but I don't feel like I'm dying either. that's good, right?" you grimaced, trying to force a smile. he nodded and approached you, stroking your hair slowly.

"you'll see that soon it will stop hurting" were simple words but you felt quite comforted because he always had the right way of saying things to make you feel a little better. "And soon you will find someone who knows how to value you as you deserve." and he was talking about himself, because yes, your best friend was completely in love with you even before you started dating the damn guy who had dared to break your heart.

a few weeks later, you and chan were together on the couch watching a stupid romantic movie that had brought back many memories of your relationship and you had ended up crying uncontrollably in chan's embrace while he stroked your hair waiting for you to calm down. you were feeling stupid for crying after so much time, but you couldn't help it, you thought you were fine but it still hurt knowing that you had lost so much time and so much of yourself for an idiot who hurt you.

"i'm sorry" you just said between sobs and you felt him squeeze you tighter in his arms.

"why are you apologizing silly? It's okay to cry, you have to let it all out. anyway, I love having you in my arms" as he held you in his arms, you could feel how fast his heartbeat was and for some reason that made your heart match as a shiver ran down your spine after feeling his warm hands caressing your arms.

you tried with everything in you not to faint when chan came out of the bathroom with only a pair of sweatpants and no shirt and entered his room, where you were lying on his bed killing some time. it wasn't the first time you saw your friend without shirt, but for some reason lately it made you feel shy and intimidated and also, it awakened something that you thought was forbidden within you. he was your best friend, it didn't feel right to feel that he turned you on like that, but you couldn't blame yourself either, the guy was fucking hot, attractive and gentlemanly, everything a woman needed. he put the wet towel aside and fell on the bed next to you and only looked for the TV control when he noticed that you were focused on something else.

"y/n, pass me the controller that's on the nightstand next to you" you were so focused on your own thoughts looking at the screen of your phone, trying not to look at him and completely ignore his arm lightly brushing your body that was trying to surreptitiously get away from him, so you didn't listen to what he told you. chan rolled his eyes at you when you ignored him and leaned over you to reach for what he wanted himself.

"w-what are you doing?" your question came out with a gasp. that action took you by surprise, his heavy body positioning itself over yours and his face just a few centimeters from yours as he leaned further to reach the control.

"just taking what I asked for and you didn't give me" he moved the device in front of your face, but still staying in that position leaning over you. he looked at your blushing face and raised an eyebrow slightly. "what are you thinking? If you want something from me, you just have to ask" he winked at you playfully and let out a laugh. your heart beat rapidly and your thighs clenched involuntarily. he was so hot and attractive that every little action he did left you speechless. you couldn't waste that moment.

“i want you to-” you stopped when he stopped laughing and looked at you seriously, not expecting you to say anything.

“what do you want, y/n?” he asked. deep inside of him, desire began to grow when he was almost one hundred percent sure of what you were about to say just by seeing your eyes, but he needed to hear it come from your lips. “say it, y/n.”

"i want to fuck" those words came out of you almost rushed and chan wanted to jump for joy at finally hearing you say it, but he restrained himself and looked at you intently.

"want me to fuck you?" you nodded quickly. "are you sure?" he insisted.

"damn chan, I'm more than sure" you lifted your body and your face moved closer to his, almost touching his lips. "i have never been so sure in my life."

"great, because I've been waiting this for years" then he just crushed his lips against yours and kissed you with all the desire that he had been building up inside for so long.

he pushed your body against the bed and quickly removed your shirt revealing your body that was naked and covered by just your skimpy underwear. he looked at your body with lustful eyes, engraving your image in his mind for life and you blushed a little as you felt exposed, but not ashamed because you knew you could trust him and that he would never judge you.

"holy shit, you're so hot" his lips attacked yours again and you hugged his broad shoulders almost hanging on to him. he rested his hand on your abdomen for a few moments and then slowly went down until he slipped inside your underwear. you moaned into his mouth when his fingers touched your pussy and he noticed how wet you were. "you want this?"

"more than you can imagine, so please fuck me now" you asked desperately, removing your own underwear before he gave you an answer. chan let out a low laugh, lightly biting his lower lip and removed the clothes he was wearing.

"how could i say no if you're asking me like that?" after opening the drawer of the nightstand next to you, he took a condom and when he opened it and slid it on his cock calmly, you felt your nerves and the wetness between your legs increase.

"chan, please stop taking your time" you whined, pulling his body against yours as he positioned himself between your legs. he looked at you for a moment and laughing, kissed your forehead, then holding your body he pressed it to the headboard.

“it's okay, baby, don't exasperate” his cock lined up at your entrance and slid into you causing you both to moan at the same time, him holding you by the waist and you holding on to his shoulders as your knees bent upwards.

"come on chan, move" you asked, you were desperate for him to do something more than just be inside you. he nodded, removing your body from the headboard and pressed it to the mattress, he moved his hips taking a tortuous rhythm. you felt a little dizzy and your head fell against the pillow as your eyes closed. "damn, it feels good" you couldn't believe that this was happening, that your best friend of so many years was fucking you and you were enjoying it so much. that would never have crossed your mind.

"you like it?" his lips wrapped around your neck, sucking on that spot that made you moan and he continued penetrating you, this time harder and deeper making your head spin while you moved your hips against him matching his pace. you felt in agony as his lips were on you and his cock moved in and out of your pussy at an increasingly faster pace that at some point shook your body violently, your nails digging into his shoulders causing chan to moan and your lips desperately searching for his.

"chan, I'm going to cum- ah-" you moaned against his lips and he nodded quickly. everything was happening so fast but you didn't care because you knew it wouldn't be the only time.

"i was dying to fuck you" he moaned as he continued pushing against you and bringing his hand between both of your bodies, applying pressure to your clit to accelerate your orgasm. "but i was also dying to tell you that i like you and that i want you to stop crying over that damn idiot and be mine, that i will make you the happiest woman in the world."

"chan!" you whimpered as his fingers on your sensitive clit sped up to the point where you were about to cum hard. "i'm cumming!"

"do it, cum with me" his thrusts were harder and you reached orgasm at the same time, feeling your bodies relax and fall exhausted on the bed with your breathing accelerated. a small pause formed between you while you could only hear your breathing and feel the soft caresses of your hands on each other's bodies. "i really like you a lot, y/n, i always liked you and i'm sorry for telling you this and now, but I'm really glad that you broke up with that bastard and are living here with me" his chest went up and down as he recovered from his orgasm. your head was still in the clouds, you knew that his words had a strong weight that you would later have to process, but for now you just let out a laugh that he found reassuring and he hugged you around the waist, getting up from the bed and taking you to the bathroom to take a shower again but this time with you.

send me request for stray kids, zb1 and enhypen

#stray kids scenarios #stray kids smut #stray kids imagines #stray kids fluff #bang chan #bang chan scenarios #bang chan smut #bang chan imagines

[dsireland86]

The Best Kind of Danger

Nick Folio + Cassie

Warnings: Language and sexual content

Part 2

The way her body moved made him weak in the knees. He watched her when she wasn't looking; studied her body, her curves, and outlined every part about her that he loved before turning away as soon as she would catch him staring. She was the sweetness that his soul needed, the very essence of kindness and beauty, and the way she carried herself was unlike anything he'd ever seen in a woman before. She was intoxicating, beautiful, and passionate, but of everything she was, there was just one thing she wasn't. His.

"Holy fuck, dude if you say one more word about the stupid box of pens, Nicholas, I'm going to lose it! It's been two whole days and all I've heard since the last show we played back in Michigan, has been about a fucking box of pens. I don't know where they are!" 

Folio threw himself down on the couch in the makeshift kitchen area of the bus, rubbing his hands down his face. A gentle hand slithered its way up his back and rested on his shoulder. 

"Easy, Folio, he didn't mean anything by it," Cassie said scooting forward and resting her chin on his shoulder. Folio took a deep breath at the feeling of her hand on him and her body so close. It was just the thing he needed at the moment, and she knew it. 

"I know," he nodded, looking over his shoulder at her and smiling. Cassie returned the smile and gently caressed his back before getting up. 

"I'm going to help Nicholas look for those pens."

"Thank you!" Matt shouted, walking past her, toward the driver's compartment of the bus. "I'm so close to throwing him out."

Cassie chuckled, taking Folio's hand he held out to her.

"You won't do that, and you know it; shit Nicholas even knows it. That's why he's still bitching." 

Noah stood up and removed his earbuds only to grab a bottle of water from the fridge as Matt continued to scowl. Cassie planted her attention, avoiding the spat that was about to happen between Matt and Noah, on Folio as he rubbed circles over the back of her hand with his calloused thumb. His touch sent shivers over her body, creating a longing for more. She wanted him all over her; taking, grabbing, pulling whatever it was he needed from her to satisfy him. The thoughts made Cassie's core clench, a strong desire instantly spreading over her, and when Folio looked up at her through his soft yet mischievous brown eyes, she could do nothing else but grin. 

But Cassie had a secret about herself that always made her pull back from getting too close to Folio. It was a secret she wasn't willing to share with him because of what it meant and if he ever found out he probably wouldn't want her anyway. She could never live with that type of rejection. So she kept her feelings for Nick to herself. No matter how bad it hurt; no matter how bad she wanted him.

 Folio often tried to work up the courage to tell Cassie how he felt about her. How he needed her to know that he was falling for her and couldn't slow down, how she made him feel alive more than anything else around him, but when he'd get her attention, he'd choke on his words and make excuses to avoid telling her the truth, always leaving him frustrated and flustered. It left him with a craving he knew only she could satisfy.

Cassie began to notice the little things. She noticed Nick's stares and the way he lingered a little longer around her, even though he had a lot of work to do before and after the shows. She noticed how her body reacted and betrayed her hard resistance every time she saw him. But most of all she noticed his smile and that it was always the widest when he looked at her or teased her when messing around for fun. Folio had her heart and she didn't want anyone else to have it. Just Nick and only Nick.

The Tennessee air was warm, yet when the cool breeze blew in from the Great Smokey Mountains, it was enough to send chill bumps over Cassie's skin.

"You're cold. You should put my hoodie on, it'll keep you warm." 

Folio came up beside her in the green room, noticing the way Cassie was holding her arms around herself for extra warmth. She smiled at him, making his heart flutter, and thanked him. Returning with it, Folio handed over the black hoodie to her, watching as she gracefully filled one of his favorite pieces of clothing. It was a little big on her, but the way Cassie looked in black gave Folio a dirty vision of her wearing nothing but that hoodie and what it would feel like to have his hands sliding up her thighs and over her small, perky ass that he loved looking at. He was getting hard at just the thought.

"What?" She looked up at him through narrow eyes.

"What?" He asked, licking his lips and then taking the top one in between his teeth. 

"You're staring." Cassie lightly grinned.

"Am I?"

"Yeah just a little," she said softly. 

Nick moved in closer, filling Cassie's personal space, and letting his eyes wander over her, soaking in her features as the scent of flowers protruded from beneath his hoodie.

"Well, you're making it a little hard not to." His eyes met hers and he saw the surprise in them. 

"What? You don't think so?"

Cassie shook her head. "You know what I think about myself, Nick, so let's not go there." Her eyes drifted away from Folio's, looking elsewhere other than him. 

"Yeah I know, and I hate that you think about yourself that way," he sighed, fixing his inear piece.  

Cassie shrugged her shoulders. "It is what it is."

"It doesn't have to be," he replied giving her a look that instantly took her breath away. Was Nick hitting on her?

Folio pulled his drumsticks from his back pockets, twirling one of them between his fingers. 

"Wish me luck," he said, still within Cassie's personal space.

A smile lit up her face, finally wiping away the sadness that was there a second ago. 

"I don't need to. You're already amazing. You'll do great; just like always."

Cassie reached over and laid her hand on Nick's bare arm, rubbing the tattoo of the virgin Mary he'd gotten years ago.

Folio leaned in and kissed her cheek, sending shockwaves of emotion throughout her entire body. He'd made her instantly wet, and she could feel herself blushing as the emotions ran straight down into her sex. It was a feeling she'd never felt before and it made her clench her thighs together. Nick ran off toward the stage before Cassie could even react, but he turned back around and gave her a wink and that goofy smile of his that always made her laugh. Reaching up to her cheek, she placed her fingertips over the spot where Nick had laid his lips and grinned, embracing the schoolgirl feeling it gave her.

It was clear to Cassie that something serious was happening between her Folio, and as she stood next to Bryan, watching Nick do what he always did best, she knew, without a doubt, that she had one hundred percent fallen for him. It was dangerous, she knew it, but what had just happened between the two of them, gave her all the confidence she needed. Cassie's entire heart and soul really did belong to Nick Folio; even if he didn't know it yet. 

#nick folio fanfiction #nick folio fanfic #bad omens fanfiction #bad omens #nick folio #noah sebastian #bad omens cult #nicholas ruffilo #jolly karlsson #fanfic #writing

[harrystylesfan2686]

Swordsmen Ship

Pairing: Nesta x Reader

Summary: When Nesta's ignorance to you increases so much that you have no other choice but to challenge her to talk to her.

Warnings: fighting with swords. Not much really.

A/N: Trying to write things I've never thought of writing before. Plzzz tell me your thoughts on this one because I'm really proud of it and want to hear you thoughts as well.💕🫶

Masterlist

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You were twelve when you first met Nesta.

Hiding behind a tree, she was watching you with big intrigued eyes. Watching your every moments as you skillfully moved your wooden sword. You noticed her in mids of trying a new move your father taught you.

She was confused, seeing a girl with a sword for the first time. Her father always said that fighting of any kind was for boys. He was always a bit narrow minded in his beliefs of what boys and girls should do.

When you beckoned her to you, she had hesitantly obeyed. "What are you doing?" she asked.

"Swordplay." You answered with a tone. Your sassy teenageself was surprised to see confusion in the girl's blue eyes.

"Are you a swordsman?"

"Well not yet obviously," You rolling your eyes. "But father says I'm getting better. One day, I'm going to be the best swordsman ever seen!" Your bight grin had encouraged a small smile in Nesta's face as well.

"Will you teach me as well?" Nesta's voice unvering as she asks. She wants to learn too. And if her father wasn't going to listen to her then she'd find her own way.

Your grin widened into a smirk. "You think you can handle it?"

Nesta's confident smirk was well of an answer.

The both of you met every week after that. In the same garden, at the same time. Both, telling your father's that you were going to play, not a lie but not entire truth either, just not say play with what.

The two of you became quick friends, having meeting so frequently, you two become so close, you were inseparable. Your families disapproved of the other, being so different than each other but you didn't care. The two of were stubborn, having similar traits for getting what you want, no matter the cost.

When Nesta's family ran poor, none of her other friends cared. All of them turned their backs to her, not caring about her. But not you, no, you stayed. You stayed and helped them all as much as you could.

You brought them little money from your allowance without you parents noticing, went food hunting with feyre when you could. You treated her like a little sister, still do but now she's all grown up. A woman through and through. You sometimes did the chores that were given to Nesta which she never did, you or Feyre ended up doing them.

You have to admit you were very disappointed in Nesta in that particular time. Who sends her fourteen year old sister to hunt in the forest for food. You knew Nesta was, ashamed of herself for not doing anything but was too arrogant to admit it.

You had let go of everything that time, you were damned if you let it go this time too.

The night Hybern soldiers came to kidnap the Archeron sisters, you were their too. Your parents out of town, so you thought it would be alright to spend the night there, oh how wrong you were. They took the sisters and you, knowing you weren't the one they wanted but took you anyway because leaving you here meant the humans finding out about them and only other option was killing you, they thought their king would be the one to decide wether or not you seemed important enough to live.

"We are already throwing two girls in, why not a third one too, just to be sure."

You still remember the smirk on the King of Hybern's face as he waved his hand to order you in the Couldron. The face filled with evil and cruelty, still haunting you in your nightmares. And as if surviving that wasn't enough, you found out before the War that your entire family had been killed. Everyone starting from your parents and ending with distent relatives you don't even remember the names of.

Nesta grew so heartless after the War, towards everyone, even you, and as much as it hurts to admit, you miss her. Miss the version of her that you remember in the garden, training with you, with a smile so wide on her face. You miss when you both would sneak out at night from your houses, despite of your families wishes, just you see each other and talk and laugh until the first rays of sun crept up, popping your bubble of happiness.

You think of all the times she ignored you after the War, breaking whatever relationship the two of you had left. All the times she tuned away from where you stood or got out of the room when you walk in.

It hurt you. She hurt you.

So when you take two swords from the rack of weapons in the Illyrian camp, you don't think of anything but the times she destroyed you, and wanting to talk to her in any way you can. You could only think of one way to get her to pay attention to you, the one game the two of you have been playing since you were twelve.

Swordsplay.

With one sword in each hand you go near the rock Nesta perched at while Cassian sparred with some male. Nesta knows you're here, Mor having winnowed all three of you, and still didn't care to even glance at you.

You throw the sword at her feet, the blade landing with a thug on the ground. You walk back a few steps and get in starting stance. "Pick it up." You bark the order at Nesta and she eyes the weapon. She raises an eyebrow at it as if to question why.

"I challenge you to a sword fight." Your voice ringing in the air as you stand with you legs apart and holding the sword with both hands in front of you, the point slightly tilted towards her.

That seems to get her attention, blue eyes finally landing on you. The disinterested expression fuling your anger. She scoffs, taking in your position,"I will not fight you."

"Too bad. Cause I will." You swing you sword toward her, almost hitting her head as she instanty ducks and misses your blow. Her eyes wide when she finally stands up straight and realises your not joking.

"Pick it up!" There are eyes on you now but you don't care as you again go through a series of attacks which she brilliantly parries and drops down to take her sword with a curse. You pause for a second to let her get steady with the weight in her hands and then attack.

Again and again and again.

You sort through different moves, all of which she defenses, surprising you that she remembers everything and does without mistaking, even after not practicing these months.

"Why are you doing this?!" She spits out in between trying to block your moves. You stop for a second,"Why?" You mock before twisting and slashing the blade aimed to her stomach. She flips her sword and stops yours with enough force, preventing it from slashing her half.

You step back,"Because you're insufferable!" You swip your steel to her head and she rolls hers against yours in a full circle before pushing you and stepping away. "You haven't looked at me in two years! Haven't talked to me! Haven't showed me any care at all!" Every sentence starting and finishing with an attack and defence move.

Her lips curl, in anger or annoyance, you don't know. "If I've been so bad, why Haven't you given up yet?" This time she attacks and you dogde without worry. "Why not just accept you hate me and leave me and move on?" The forces of the blades harder now, both of you brimming with anger, if any of you manage to not block the attack coming, you might injure the other badly.

You scoff and slice the blade through air, aiming right in front of her and she stops the move with the exact same force, your swords now formed in a cross, forced to stay still as the energy equivalents on both sides, snips of orange fiery sparkles releasing from the ajoined sharp edges.

"Don't you understand?" You release the cross and twist, slaming your blade at her grip, sticking with all the force you have, landing just above her fingers and she loses grip of her sword, releasing it with a grunt. The sword falling to the ground a few feet away from you but before Nesta can even try to see where it landed, you knock her down with your elbow below her chin and turn your leg to kick behind her knees, forcing her down.

She falls with a groan and you step over her, pushing your knees on her thighs to prevent her from getting up and put the sharp point of the blade under her chin with enough force to scare her without breaking skin.

"I can't hate you because if I do, I won't have anyone left to love."

Everything freezes. Only the deep breaths of you both sounding in the air. The exhaustion finally hitting you like being poured on by cold water. Your eyes blur with unwanted tears and you get up from her, stepping away and throwing the sword off in an instant like it burned you.

You look into her eyes one more time, letting her see the pain and hurt and agony in them before turning and walking away. You dont know where your going but know that anywhere away from her.

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#acotar #acotar fandom #acotar fanfiction #nesta archeron #nesta acotar #nesta #nesta x reader #nesta x you #nesta x y/n #nesta angst #nesta fluff #acotar angst

[george-weasleys-girl]

Hi! Can i have wordsmith (the new event) about one bed trope with George weasley

I had such fun writing this request! Thank you for sending it in.

Warnings: none, just the fluffiest of fluff

George Weasley x Fem!reader

~•~

Pillow Fort

"Okay, hear me out… I say we build a pillow fort." George suggested.

"What?" The comment took Y/N by surprise.

"I reckon if we're stuck sleeping in the living room, we should at least make it fun."

"Umm, yeah. Ok," her mouth curled up into a smile. "But, might I remind you, you didn't actually have to sleep down here. You gave up your bed."

"And happily so. I wasn't going to leave my favorite person to suffer trying to sleep in the same room as my cousin. The boy snores like a freight train."

"Oh, well, thank you for thinking of me," Y/N giggled and fussed with the blanket in her hands, hoping to hide her blush.

She and George became friends after she opened up a bakery across the street from his and Fred's joke shop. It wasn't long before she'd developed a crush on the sweet, funny redhead. But he was dating someone else at the time, and even after they split up, George never expressed any romantic interest in her. So, she kept her feelings to herself.

~•~

The idea of sharing a bed or, in this case, a pillow fort simultaneously exhilarated and panicked her. What if she mumbled out her secret in her sleep? Or unintentionally cuddled up to him? What would he think? Would it scare him away? The thought terrified her, but what could she do, except hope for the best?

After getting everything set up, they'd started up a movie marathon, but Y/N fell asleep halfway through the third movie. George didn't mind. He muted the TV, choosing to leave it playing silently so that he could gaze at her face while she slept. He'd never seen her asleep before and it filled him with such a rare sense of peacefulness that it calmed all the chaos within him, and the words he'd held in for so long came spilling out unbidden.

"Y/N, you are truly the most incredible woman I've ever met. Smart, funny, sexy as hell, and your heart - damn, your heart. It's so soft and sweet. Just being in your presence makes me want to be a better man." He leaned down and kissed her forehead. "I love you, Y/N."

"Love you too," she mumbled and snuggled into his side.

~•~

Y/N hadn't quite fallen asleep when she heard George speak the words she'd dreamed to hear but never expected.

She did her best to keep her galloping heart under control and pretend that she was actually sleeping. But his gentle kiss and his confession of love did her in completely, and she found herself unable to hold back from doing the thing she both desired and feared most.

George's whole being went rigid for a few seconds, and then he wrapped his arms tighter around her, melting into her embrace with a contented sigh. Y/N smiled to herself and did the same.

~•~

The following morning, Y/N awoke to find her face inches from George's, and her body tangled up with him in a glorious puzzle of arms and legs. He was already awake and smiled when she opened her eyes. "Morning, bedhead," he mummered.

Her face went from pink to bright vermillion in a matter of seconds. "Oh dear, I must look a mess," she apologized.

"But a beautiful one," George pushed a stray hair behind her ear. "Do you... um... do remember anything that I said last night after you fell asleep?"

"I wasn't asleep," she smiled. "And yes, I remember every word."

"So, you meant what you said?"

Y/N's smile widened, and she nodded.

"Does that mean I can kiss you?"

"You don't even have to ask," she giggled and met him halfway.

~•~

@milivanili99 @fancy-pantaloons @turvi @zvummyummy @xmjthewitchx @pansexualwitchwhoneedstherapy @georgie-weasley @samberriejams @nighttimemoonlover @jsjcue @wzrd-wheezes @mrsgweasley @hufflepuffie @morally-grey-obsessed @fredweasleyyyyy @anvaaryn @lastwandastan @samshifts @asuperconfusedgirl @hmisa11 @superduckmilkshake @mysticsheepsoul @gemofthenight @1lellykins @junerprsh @sierraluvz @wolfkill16 @kaysau2510 @qmylovexoxo @planetkt @costheticbabe @drama-queen-fromthevault @thatonepersonwhocantwrite @smallsweetvanillabean @themaraudersslut @hanne-montana @greenapplegrass @el-de-phi @lizzytrees @scooby-doo1995 @phant0mkitsune @spididerman @Yoursarahg

#george weasley #george weasley x reader #george weasley x y/n #george weasley x fem!reader #george weasley x you #george weasley fluff #hp fandom #hp universe #one year celebration

[vclvetfleur]

Obedient Chapter 20

Roman Roy x fem! reader

Summary: After the embarrassing live interview, you were sent to Logan's office. Shiv feels sorry for you and decides to invite you and Roman to dinner with her and Tom.

TW: implied child abuse, Logan Roy, sexism

WC: 6.9K

Notes: I've been super busy, but I finally updated. And this is the longest chapter I've ever written :))

Chapter 20: Casey Anthony

Roman entered his father’s office, unsure if Logan was going to start berating him, but he wouldn’t be past Logan to do so. He carefully opened the door before sliding his body inside. “Uh-hey Dad, you needed me?” He spoke softly and carefully. He wasn’t allowed to look away from Logan when greeting him. He learned that the hard way when younger. Romans' hands fidgeted before leaning up against one of Logan’s suede chairs.

“Yes. Did you know about this shit?” Logan asked, passing Roman the phone. Logan slid it across his desk, making Roman leave his safe distance from Logan to get closer to evaluate the screen. But he knew what it would be but played it dumb. “Uh- what was I supposed to know?” Roman genuinely wondered. It could’ve been a number of things. Did he know about the article? Did he know your history with them? Did he know you were so fucked up? “Did you know she’s fucked in the head, son?” Logan carefully said, making you and Roman feel small. Roman shook his head no, knowing he should defend you, but was too scared to do so.

“Uh- no Dad… I mean she seemed more normal than all of us… Come on, you’ve met her.” He tried every bit that he could defend in a sly way by making Logan think he actually wasn’t.

“Yes, I did. She’s definitely smart. But I never met her. I don’t know anything about her. And clearly, you don’t either.” Logan tried to sting Roman. Logan wasn’t as annoyed as earlier, knowing this would be dealt with. It was even his idea to send you off to a TV interview after Hugo suggested you do another interview.

Logan knew how smart you were. You were able to talk your way into a lot from what Logan could see. He would eventually use it for his own gain. He knew you were a game piece he could now move around for his own gain and wins. You were definitely smarter than most of his kids, possibly just as smart as Shiv. But you were still a woman. But you had the wittiness Roman had without being disgusting, Shiv’s ideals, and Kendall’s ‘touch with the youth’. You could be useful for women, younger CEOs, and even liberal older individuals. But he knew some would never take you seriously. Until you talked maybe.

“Well- I have another thing. GoJo… What do we think?” He passed it by Roman. As it seemed, Kendall was out so Roman was the best possible option once Gerri was out of office. Shiv could be good, but once again, she was a woman. She was in her feelings way too often, at least Logan assumed so.

“What do I think? Uhm- yea… What do you think?” Roman asked. He wasn’t going to pass a deal his father didn’t approve of.

“I didn’t ask you what I thought. I thought what you thought.” Logan grew annoyed with Roman’s answer. This was Logan’s issue with Roman. He had no opinions. If Logan thought something, Roman followed. He didn’t know how to be his own person. That was why Kendall was always set for greatness. He always knew his stance. Never followed Logan 100%. He said and did as he thought unless beaten into submission. Kendall was tough, but malleable like clay.

“Okay uhm-…” Roman took a minute to think. “Yeah no, GoJo is a great deal. I mean if we took over internet and tech it’d be great. Get rid of the old shit and into the new. I mean no one watches stuff on TV anymore unless it’s streamed and-… uh yeah. No, it’s good.” Roman came to the conclusion. It was only logical for them to go for modernism. They were being outgrown. Newspapers were dying out. Tv was dying out. It’s all about Netflix and websites and whatever all the bullshit was.

“Okay- well… I just needed some insight…” Logan spoke slowly. The news was playing, but it strangely wasn’t ATN. Logan was anticipating your response. He needed to see if this would be a win or an absolute disaster. Before he knew it, the segment started. He leaned in, watching as Jess came up. “Who the fuck is that? I thought you were with the uh- fuck…” Logan forgot how to describe you exactly. He forgot your hair color. He just passed it off.

“Uhm. No Dad, that’s Kendall’s assistant…” Roman reminded as he stared at the television with a growing amount of anxiety. He never meant for this to go this far.

“Oh, uh… yeah…” Logan let out an old man grumble as his words seemed to slide into one another. Logan smiled to himself, knowing this would seemingly get to Kendall. He knew Kendall would have a field day knowing his assistant was backing up the woman he put up false accusations against.

Next, you came through. Roman leaned forward to watch. He watched your face, feeling as though he could be there for you to console you. “Oh please, she’s just a girl, son. Are you that fucking pussy whipped already?” Logan found a reason to pick at him. Roman ignored. It wasn’t worth arguing. Logan never loved anything. Except for dead people who no longer receive his love.

It tore Roman to watch you break down before finally saying what he hadn’t even known. It sent discomfort throughout the room. Everyone who watched themselves felt a sense of heartbreak for you as you recalled everything that had happened. Hugo and Carolina sat in their own office, watching and shifting at the amount of uncomfortable information. It sunk into everyone. This was too serious to be brought up on television. It affected Roman the most. Knowing what he had said and how he mocked your relationship with them the other day set in. He never knew something this horrific could have happened. And to know this was only the stories you were willing to say out loud. You probably had more things hidden under the surface.

“You picked perfectly Roman.” Logan knew what this could mean. It would only mean a gain. Having a victim speak out against other victims or to them now knowing the horrendous things you’ve been put through. It could make you likable. People would listen to you. He knew it and would definitely keep it in the back of his mind. Logan huffed, watching the parents. He worried it’d ruin their reputation. Not what it would do for you. “What the fuck are they doing here? Did they fucking set her up?” Roman asked out loud, putting his hand up to show the screen, and looking over his shoulder at Logan. Logan just watched. “Those fuckers set us up.” Logan grumbled. He knew this was not just an attack on you but on Logan and the company. He wanted to see how this would pan out. And it panned out exactly how Logan wished it would. Roman rubbed his forehead in discomfort watching you scream and insinuate multiple allegations.

But the fact the news network put up people defending a pedophile and their own abuse of a woman who had been working for a company with their own allegations would only sway positively for Waystar. They would think Waystar was a company that would hire a victim. Someone at the company knew pain. She was just like everyone else.

“Roman, when she comes here, let her in.” Logan commanded. Roman wasn’t sure what his father was feeling, but he couldn’t protect you from it. He had to just have this play out the way he has been. It was going to be a never-ending snowball for you. Roman could only nod and wait with his father as they discussed further plans for GoJo and what Roman’s next plans would be. Roman was given the honor of having to handle the case with his father controlling him like a ventriloquist. But for Roman, it was ideal.

You got into the car, laying on Jess’ lap as you sobbed. Gerri was sent a text from Logan to bring you to see him. Gerri couldn’t break this news to you while you were inconsolable. You shook as you buried your head into Jess’ lap. It was like you were a child with your parents. Your inner child was finally allowed to be healed in a slight way. You wept loudly as you couldn’t process them even trying to speak to you. You were fine while leaving, but once the reality of you not even hearing their voice until now hurt. The fact you had forgotten their face killed you. It was like revisiting a dead relative’s grave.

Jess shushed you as she directed you to breath. You. Had to pull yourself together. You sat up, holding yourself, trying to get yourself to stop crying. You looked at Gerri. Her comfort brought you into a calmer state. “You’re okay. You’re safe…” Jess tried to remind you. Before getting to the office, you rid your tears away and did your breathing exercises. You had to put on sunglasses, knowing photographs of you crying would be out. Jess was dropped off before hand and you were pushed through the crowd by security. “Fucking animals.” You mumbled as you were finally able to go into the elevator.

“Okay… y/n, before we go in. Logan had told me he would like to see you.” Gerri finally told you. You understood. You knew this would be a possibility. You sighed, laying your head against the metal walls. You got it together before agreeing to do so as if you had an option to even decline.

The door opened, seeing Roman spot you. He shifted before making his way to you.  “Hey-uh-hi, you doing okay?” He stuttered, checking you as if he would find something physical to show himself that you were doing all right or bad. “Uh- yea… I think your dad wanted to see me…” You mumbled. He already knew. He escorted you, trying to see if you were even mentally okay. He knew this would’ve never happened unless you both got involved. And he felt guilty. He felt responsible. Watching you have to relive everything was horrific to watch. He was never even able to talk that freely, even around his therapist even though there were multiple contracts and signed documents that promised secrecy. He couldn’t put himself in that head space.

You entered Logan's office and were greeted by Logan. He played a concerned face, looking up at you. “Hi dear, take a seat. You must be stressed.” He tried to play nice. Even it worried Roman. He looked in between the two of you, with his eyebrows raised. You cautiously took a seat, folding your legs across the other. “How are you? We watched what went down. Must’ve been terrible.” Logan checked in. You looked at Roman before looking at Logan. You decided on honesty. “Well- uh I cried a lot. But I’m glad I said what I said.” You breathed out.

“I bet… uh- well… now- now don’t take this so harshly, but I do think it was a good thing they brought them out there. It proves what we are. Doesn’t it? You’re a smart woman.” Logan put an emphasis on your gender. “You knew these news people don’t give a fuck. They’re savages.” Logan tried to bring your guard down, but it didn’t work. You were worried this would end in you being called a moron or being fired. “Listen- seriously. This is coming from me of all people. This was good. It felt good, didn’t it?” He asked you.

You sat with your thoughts before nodding. “Yeah- it kind of did.” You agreed. “I mean- I thought if I ever saw them, I’d run away and cry, I mean I did yesterday… but it felt good to say it out loud. To finally discredit them in public.” This was what Logan wanted. You finally spoke. You let your guard down. You had no defense up. He could screw with your mind.

“It must’ve been. I mean to deal with…” He let out an exaggerated breath of air, shaking his head. “I mean to deal with that, y’know… How long have they been discrediting you?” He needed to know to shut those claims down for as much money as it took. He was going to make you and Shiv the face for their defense against the Cruises. Who better than 2 women, one being a now public assault victim herself?

“As long as I can remember. I mean they used to tell their friends what a bad kid I was. But honestly, I think after I left they even bashed me on social media a bit. It was just to make me…” You started before Logan cut you off.

“To make you feel guilty. Yeah- who was Liam?” Logan wondered. Roman tried to butt in. “Dad- come on…” he tried to stop the questioning, but Logan put his hand up to stop Roman. “I’m just asking. Come on. It’s therapeutic. Isn’t it?” Logan asked you. You felt too intimidated. But all your business was out at this point. This could’ve been out already.

“Uh- Liam was my dad’s brother. Uh- yea. He wasn’t the only one though. Just kind of- y’know…” You shifted. You covered your face with your hair as you pretended to itch to avoid the intense eye contact from Logan.

“I see… Well- what if I did this for you?” Logan proposed. “We take those bastards down… your parents, Liam, and whoever else.” Your eyes light up. You looked at Logan, shocked, but hungry to not only publicly shame them, but completely ruin them. “I can set you up with the best lawyers… the best whatever. And slip something. Make sure, this kind of stuff can’t happen.” Logan continued. You didn’t need to hear the rest. You wanted in.

“Yes- I’d love that. I don’t even care what else you need. I’ll do it.” You jumped at the opportunity. Not only would it prove whoever didn’t think you were wrong, but it would be such a release to you. “Slow down… I just need you to go up there with Shiv from time to time. That’s all I ask.” Logan continued. This would be pocket change to him. But if it influenced you enough and to gain back such sympathy for the company, he would do it. He didn’t care. He just wanted another win to take home.

You got up and agreed. “Logan, you have no idea what this means. Thank you.” You felt so released from all this excoriating journey. But it would be over. The trail would be fast. You had witnesses, you had documents, and you had photos taken by CPS. You had enough evidence.

“Don’t- please.” Logan tried to be humble. “Just take the time. I’ll do what I need to, and you do what you need to. But while you’re here. What do you think of GoJo?” He wanted you to feel a part of it. But he already had his mind made. He was just hoping you’d agree to further his narrative. You stood shocked, looking at Roman, but he still looked nervous for you.

“Uh- I think it’s great… The network needs to modernize and uh- GoJo needs a lot of tweaking. But it’s good.” You quickly put in your input. Logan nodded, looking off as he thought.

“Alright… uh- well. You both could uh- just. Roman do what you need.” He ignored you. You just left with Roman. You were ecstatic. “Did you fucking hear that?” You giggled, nearly jumping as you stood. Roman knew this was off. His dad never cared about this sort of stuff. He never even acknowledged Roman’s abuse. But Roman remembered his gender, Roman’s assault didn’t matter to his father because ‘boys don’t do that’. But he was at least glad you weren’t sobbing. You were smiling.

“Uh- yea… Wow…” He tried to make it sound as big as it did to you. But a lawsuit against average people was something that lasted such a short time with the lawyers they had. It meant nothing. “Hey, but you sure you’re okay? I mean- that was-uh-that was just fucking-…” Roman tried not to offend you.

You nodded with the biggest smile plastered on your face. “Rome- this is the best thing that could’ve happened. This was a fucking gift sent from God him fucking self… I mean fuck! I don’t even believe in the fucker but wow!” You couldn’t help but laugh at how ridiculous you sounded. “Yeah- cause he’s probably not fucking real.” Roman tried to quickly butt in. “But you know- just… I don’t know.” He dismissed his worries. They were dumb. He should be happy for you. I mean, you were getting something you could only fantasize about. But Roman knew it would come at such a cost. “Look- I love you, okay? Just- fucking- I don’t know. You gotta maybe put yourself first.” Roman tried to express.

“Roman- you have no idea… how long I have been waiting for this. I mean sure Angela and Mick don’t deserve any kind of attention. But this is good. I promise.” You held his hands before pressing a kiss over his rose-tinted lips.

“Alright- I’m just fucking worried- cause y’know… I care and shit.” He almost gagged at the thought of him being this desperately in love. He never saw it ever coming for him. He thought he’d even be single for most of his life or hopping from the next person to the next because they didn’t get him fully.

“Aww- Roman has a cruuuush.” You teased him.

He had a mocking face at you, rolling his eyes. “Fuck off.”

“No- come on- say it.” You continued to test him further and further, but he had walked away from you. He had a meeting to go to. But you didn’t mind. You were just so overfilled with joy. You headed to the break room, finally able to get a sense of peace. Greg hadn’t been in the office to annoy you any longer. He was too busy mooching off of Kendall. But fortunately, Shiv had made her way in to get some kind of weirdly expensive water bottle.

“Oh- uh hey.” Shiv was nervous to confront you. It set in that now everyone saw your victim status. You were fragile. It made you feel weaker for it. “You alright? I mean- I saw what went on. But you okay?” She wondered, taking a seat across from you.

You nodded. “I’m fine.” You couldn’t stop yourself from smiling though. Finally. No more worrying. Just peace. “It was shocking at first, but just- Shiv… it was the most freeing thing ever.” You expressed. She looked at you strangely with a smile on her face.

“Wow- well I’m glad you were okay… uh- did you and Roman want to come over tonight… me and Tom wanted to maybe make you feel more welcomed.” She offered. You felt a warmness fill you, pouting at how sweet of a gesture it was.

“Uh- yea… Thanks, Shiv…” You felt at home. You were a part of yet another family. Granted a very toxic and problematic one, but you had another family. You had lost your little sister to your parents, but you had Jess and Shiv. Shiv never purposely hurt you. Just Kendall. Speaking of Kendall, you wondered how he was reacting to the mess he created.

“Yeah- sure, it’s nothing. Just y’know- I just thought since you and Roman were… yeah…” She sounded disgusted by the thought of her brother in a relationship. “Just thought it’d be a nice thing. Just come by at 8.” She squeezed your hand gently before leaving you alone. You weren’t alone for long before meeting with Roman again.

“Your sister invited us to dinner.” You expressed to him. You were just happy to be involved.

“Oh, fucking great. Now we need to play fucking house.” He groaned at the idea. He didn’t mind being ‘normal’ with you. But he was still upset about the other night. His distain for Shiv came in and out depending on where their hatred lied. But for you, he’d do it.

“It was sweet!” You tried to defend Shiv and this dinner was. But nothing about his family was ever done in the goodness of their heart. He knew it. He did it too. He knew never to trust. Everything was a game. If you didn’t see it as that, you’d lose. Everything was a race. The slowest one was left behind, desperate to keep up. But he was used to it. He never lived a second without being in it.

“Shiv? Come on- she’s literally a fucking uh a fucking killer girl scout. She’s that one girl people always says killed her kid. Fucking-…” He tried to remember her name as you just watched him desperately try to think of insults to throw at Shiv behind her back. “Casey Anthony.” You reminded him.

“Yup. That whore. That’s Shiv.” He made the connection finally.

“You’re being dramatic.” You pushed his concerns away. He was dramatic. It was going to be a harmless dinner. It would’ve been nice anyway. He mimicked your voice, passing your judgment as nothing. He was gonna go anyway. He had to. “Roman, are you going to make me go alone or not?” You crossed your arms.

“Yeah- fucking whatever. We’ll play house.” Roman gave in. You smiled, pressing a kiss over his lips before pulling him off to continue the workday before having to split off at the end of the day. It was nice being able to finally be able to show some kind of affection at work. Or the very least in public. You didn’t need to hide away and sneak around. People were even shocked for Roman. Not that he actually had a partner, but that he was even able to show some kind of affection towards anyone. All of his other partners have had an issue with physical touch. But with you, it was easier. You both read each other's body language well enough.

You entered your apartment, realizing how much you’ve rarely ever been in this space. Most nights you were out on trips or with Roman. And for a brief period, you were with Jess. You hopped into the fairly reminiscent shower. You turned the metal knobs and let the shower head pour out hot water. You forgot how weak the shower head was compared to the nice resorts and hotels you’ve been placed in. You poured your shampoo into your head and scrubbed it into your scalp. You sat there and let the water clear all the soapy bubbles before gliding conditioner through your hair. You spent a while in the shower as your phone blasted music through its speakers. You sang to the lyrics with the passion of a singer on a world tour. You screamed the lyrics, dancing as if you were invoking an emotion in the audience that never existed. “I was enchanted to meet yoooooooou!” You screamed into the wall. Before going into the second verse. You scrubbed your body, holding the loofa as if it were the end of a mic as soon as your favorite lyrics and vibrato of the song came on.

Your phone abruptly died in the middle of another song, cutting your shower short. You wrapped your body in a towel before going to your bedroom/living room. You plugged your phone into the charger before drying yourself off. You put on your makeup shirt, which was an old t-shirt stained with makeup. You sat down in front of your mirror and did your makeup in front of it. You did makeup better without music anyway. It distracted you far too much anyway. You usually put on funny podcasts or YouTube or something dark like true crime to stay focused on your makeup, but you wait for your phone to charge. Along with it being too far and you being too lazy to actually get up and put something on.

You finished up fairly quickly before starting on your hair, styling it simply. You didn’t want to make this as fancy as it was going to be. It was a simple dinner. But Shiv always dressed up in a formal way. You couldn’t imagine her in a regular shirt. Or Tom. You’ve never seen them in regular clothes. She had more reasons to try to remain a ‘professional’ look. If she didn’t she would be seen as less serious as people already took her.  

You finished up before struggling to find something to wear. You just settled on some dress pants and a shirt that you hadn’t worn in months since you’d gotten hired. You had been neglecting your regular clothes as well. You checked the time, realizing how much time you spent before grabbing your bag. You shoved the essentials into it before leaving the house. You ran down to the subway station. You hadn’t been on the train in a while either. It felt strange. You definitely were getting a few stares. You just lowered your head, covering your face with your hair, hoping no confrontation would occur. But 6 minutes into your ride you heard an iPhone camera shutter go off. You looked up and saw a man put his phone down, looking around as if he wasn’t in front of you.

“Sir- can you please just delete that?” You asked politely. He acted oblivious, pointing at himself. “Yes sir, I heard that. Please can you just delete that?” “It’s my freedom.” He said with a snobby attitude. He was clearly some business major douchebag. “Yea- and it’s my freedom to not have men take pictures of me.” You reminded him.

“Is there an issue? Hey man, delete that shit.” Another man who had been standing the entire ride intervened. The man declined before the other guy pressed him enough. “Stupid bratty whore.” He mumbled as he went through the phone to delete the picture as the other guy watched him.

“Woah! What the fuck man?” You rolled your eyes. “Have some fucking respect for the lady.” The other man called him out. You just stood up and went in between the carts to switch carts. You felt uncomfortable being in a space you use to be on daily for 22 whole years.

Thankfully you had just gotten off at the stop you needed to. You left the station, looking down at your phone for the address before making your way over to Shiv and Tom’s apartment. You texted Shiv to let her know you were a block away. You were escorted inside and sent up to their floor. You were greeted by Shiv who was wearing a white pant suit with a black turtleneck. “Hi!” She smiled, bringing you into a hug. “I’m so glad you actually made it. Uh- where’s Rome?” She wondered.

“Oh, I came by myself. He said he’s coming.” You calmed her nerves. She nodded but you pulled your phone out to make sure Roman was actually coming. He texted back to let you know he was in a car downtown at this moment. Shiv just went in on what she had her chefs make you all, but it wouldn’t be done anytime soon.

“Oh my god! I didn’t know you guys had a dog!” You squealed, seeing a large black dog lying down on the ground with a stuffed bear under his head. You walked over, kneeling down. The dog raised his head up, staring up at you with his large brown eyes. “Hi baby…” You said in a soft baby voice as you ran your fingers through its fur and scratched his ears for him. He leaned his heavy head into your small hands as you contagiously giggled.

“Oh-uh yeah. That’s Mondale. He’s mostly Toms.” Shiv tried to interject, but you were fascinated by the large baby in front of you. You always wanted a dog, but in New York, it was hard to have one. Plus, your parents never let you have one. If they did, you wouldn’t trust them around an animal anyway. But eventually, you knew you’d own a variety of pets. The ideas of animals were endless. A dog, chihuahua, Maltese, those cute pug chihuahua mixes, a cat, probably an orange one, a fennec fox, a raccoon, etc. You weren’t the type to think owning such weird animals was okay, but oh my god, they were just too cute to not want one. Realistically you knew the cat and dogs were the only ones you’d genuinely get.

“Who’s a cutie? Huh? You are.” You continued to baby-talk to the dog before finally leaving him alone. “I’m sorry- I just- aww look at him.” You expressed to Shiv.

She smiled, putting her hands up in defense. “No- it’s okay.” She laughed. “I’m sure Mondale very much appreciated the welcome.” She was just happy someone gave him attention. She tried but was far too busy for him. He mostly was attached to Tom or the people who actually took care of him. “Are you doing okay so far?” She checked in with you. She knew your asset value in the company. She did genuinely like you, but she knew she needed to be closer to you.

“Oh-uh, I’m alright. Just a bit of an intense day. I’m glad you invited me over.” You expressed your gratitude. She shooed off the ego boost, wanting to stay humble. But The Roys were nothing close to humble as Roman started his grand entrance into the apartment.

“Sup cunts.” He greeted the room before going to Shiv, giving you a small hug and kiss on the cheek.

“Wow- how sweet of you to show up.” Shiv was annoyed at the term he used against her. It was more so directed at Tom and Shiv than you.

“Fucking cry in your 4000 thread pillows bout it.” Roman shrugged off her annoyance. He was too focused on your well-being and happiness. If he hadn’t, he would’ve never been here.

“You guys are such a healthy family. I mean- I, of all people, should know healthy family dynamics.” You teased both of them, hinting how the toxicity of their dynamic was a bit much.

“Mhm. Exactly. Just like those fuckers from The Brady Bunch. Shiv, which one are you?” Roman played on with the joke. “Rome- ew.” Shiv dismissed him. She was still so shocked someone like you was willing to be involved with Roman. He was awful. And you were well more put together than he was. Maybe it was just an experiment for you. Maybe you were one of those girls who tried to fix other men.

“You’re the one making fucky eyes at me.” Roman tried to defend his joke. But it only grossed Shiv out even more. “Fucky eyes? I’m not making fucky eyes.” Shiv was on the defense. But you were too entertained to stop the arguing just yet. Roman mimicked the look she gave him, standing by his point before you jumped in.

“Okay Roman- enough. Your sister doesn’t want to fuck you. And if you tell me you’ve thought of fucking her, I’m leaving.” You threatened.

“Thank you. Finally, one fucking sane human being involved in this shit.” Shiv was lucky enough that some normal enough was willing to stand her brother for this long. Credit, she’s shocked Roman genuinely even liked women.

“Oh fucking, please. My therapist said I’m perfectly normal.” Roman scoffed. “Your therapist says whatever he does to please you Rome.” Shiv snapped back. You tried to deescalate this before it ended in a very vicious argument where it would upset the other.

“I’m shocked you both even have one. So, where’s Tom?” You asked Shiv. Shiv shrugged before watching Tom come down the stairs just in time to save you from this.

“Oh great. The fucking normies are here now.” Roman giggled. You glared at him. You were slightly annoyed to be grouped in as ‘normie’ based on your upbringing not being extremely rich and privileged. He tried to apologize with a hand hold and kiss on the shoulder though. You had him completely whipped. “Hey- thank you so much for coming.” Tom tried to play it cool as he reached out to shake your hand. You took it regardless. “Tom, we’ve met before.” You snickered at how formal he had been.

Shiv was already on your side. “Yeah, honey. Come on.” She tapped him on the shoulder.

“No- I- uh- I know. I just thought it’d be- uh- just polite to our guests.” Tom tried to save some sort of face, but Roman made it worse as he stood up straighter and put his hand out to Tom. “So glad we could make it. Tell me your name again? Don’t care.” Roman tried to mimic and make fun of Tom, but Shiv would defend Tom against only Roman.

“You were at our fucking wedding dick.” Shiv rolled her eyes, trying to defend her husband in front of you, knowing it’s what ‘a good wife’ would do.

“Hmm still didn’t care to learn his name.” Roman shrugged. “Have a more memorable wedding next time sis.” You were shocked to hear how vulgar and rude Roman could be. Especially to Tom.

“Roman, he didn’t mean anything by it.” You reprimanded him in a soft tone. “Uh- well. Tom how’s ATN doing?” You asked.

But Tom was stressed about other things to even worry about ATN but had to put on a brave enough face for the crowd. “Oh- it’s been just fine. You know… just- fucking trying to dodge the Nazis out of the building.” He accidentally reminded you of the scandal of them nearly hiring a new news anchor with a white supremacy background.

“What? A fucking Nazi?” You questioned. Roman just giggled in the back, watching how terribly nervous and shaken Tom had been.

“It’s such a long drawn-out story.” Tom tried to die down the topic. “When’s the food ready?” Tom was eager to leave this conversation and move onto something else. “How have you been? It’s been a long day, huh?” He sent over his fake condolence. God, you wish people would stop asking.

“Oh- just fine. Just some family drama.” You simplified it to that.

It always felt awkward around Tom. Maybe because he already had someone who didn’t fit into their world. He couldn’t collect all of you. It felt like there was no gain to have, especially with you being a woman. And being so attached to the man who reminded him constantly of his shortcomings.

“Dinner should be ready in 5 minutes. We’ll set up the table.” One of the chefs informed Shiv and Tom. She nodded and sent them off their way. The table had been set up shortly and you were all instructed on when to finally come in. You sat alongside Roman as Tom and Shiv sat across. Plates of food slowly poured through the door and were set in front of you.

“Thank you for having us again Shiv.” You thanked her once again as she grabbed the bottle of wine off the table and began to unscrew it.

“It’s nothing. Don’t stress.” She popped the cork out and poured herself a glass before setting the bottle down for grabs. You poured one glass before passing it around to everyone else at the table.

“Did you see what Kendall said to the press earlier? He’s completely gone ape shit.” She struck up a conversation with Roman. Roman raised an eyebrow, waiting for Shiv to tell him. “He said the reason we have not joined ties with him is because we’re scared of dad and that dad’s using a victim's trauma for views and sympathy.” Shiv laughed at how ridiculous it was for Kendall.

“But you both are scared of Logan.” You pointed out. Shiv paused as if she hadn’t ever been scared of him. Definitely Roman and sometimes Kendall, but she didn’t think she was. Maybe a little.

“Well- that’s just… that’s not why we don’t support him. I mean he’s trying to put us in jail for something. I mean- Tom might even go to prison.” Shiv explained, but you shrugged. You didn’t see any of that happening. Sure, everything was pretty serious, but how long can this investigation go? Why would they arrest the kids who had no say in it? They didn’t purposely hide evidence.

“I don’t know. I think Ken is digging himself a grave. He keeps bringing up victims this, victims that, it’s starting to seem disingenuous. As if these women aren’t a person with a name and life; just victims.” You scoffed at how disgusting Kendall had been. He refused to even say your name. Just saying ‘victim’ as a placeholder instead. He didn’t view you as a person. Just something to profit off of.

“I’m sorry….” Shiv tried to apologize to you. You shook your head, not wanting to focus on it.

“Ken ever since high school has been a fraud. He thinks reading women talk about hating men is a personality trait.” Roman knew this was the best way to remove the topic off of you and onto him and Kendall. “Can you please start reading books to him at night? I feel like he only listens to you.” Shiv rolled her eyes at her brother's sexism.

“No amount of training can make Roman less hateful.” Tom disagreed with Shiv. “Oh, come on. You’ve seen how he’s been. He’s completely pussy whipped. I’ve never seen-“ Shiv laughed at her brother's expense. “Fucking haha. Fuck you. I’m not like Tom.” Roman decided to fire back. Shiv couldn’t help but laugh at her brother's annoyance.

“Rome- It wasn’t meant anything bad. You just now know what it’s like to be a regular boy.” Shiv continued to prod Roman’s insecurities of not being normal. You held his hand under the table for some kind of comfort, looking at him carefully to show him some kind of support.

“Everyone finds their person at different stages.” You defended. “I mean how old were you and Tom when you both got together?” You asked to get off the topic of Roman. This whole dinner was filled with one person being the main target of the conversation to only be jumped to the next target.

“We met back in college.” Tom smiled at Shiv lovingly as he reminisced back at the time, but Shiv seemingly wanted to forget that part of her life.

“Tell them when you both actually met.” Roman incited the story, chewing on his food amused at what the true tale was.

“That’s not- ugh… I was just a dumb fucking college student. Uh- yea it was finally when I was away from dad, so at a party I threw up in front of everyone and Tom held my hair in the bathroom.” Shiv tried to make it seem as though it was a lot harsher than it truly was. Everyone had those phases in college. It was just the college experience. You were a lot worse a few years ago when you started college. You were sneaking into clubs, doing coke with strangers, acid, molly, ketamine, whatever the fuck you were ever given.

“Oh- that’s sweet of him though.” You tried to praise Tom. Tom appreciated that some kind of good intentions were brought into his actions.

“I guess. I mean it was humiliating.” Shiv hid her face.

“No- I mean seriously. If he was some stranger and he took you home to only help you out, that’s incredibly sweet. He could’ve just ignored it like everyone.” You kept trying to push the narrative. Shiv nodded, looking at Tom finally smiling about the moment they met. Maybe it was sweet of Tom.

“I mean- I saw her beforehand a few times. But I finally went to the party she always went to. And her friends- woo- awful people. But yea- they just left her there. So instead of letting her be even more embarrassed, I carried her to her dorm and stayed with her till she was okay. And then asked her out in the morning.” Tom continued to recollect the memories of him and Shiv. Deep down, he was truly in love with her. It just was hard to love her. Shiv put her hand over Tom’s and squeezed it lightly.

“Well- me and y/n met through a hooker website.” Roman lied as if they didn’t already know how you and Roman had met.

You giggled, but the rest of them didn’t. You always found Roman ridiculous. No one understood how you could so carelessly laugh at the weird disgusting shit he ever said.

“Noooo- come on. It was sexual workplace harassment. Remember? That’s what the tabloids say.” You could finally laugh at what was occurring around you in the media. That’s when it hit Shiv and Tom. You were perfect for Roman. His other half. A more stable liberal put-together version of him.

#succession #roman roy #succession hbo #roman roy fanfic #hbo succession #succession fanfic #kendall roy #shiv roy #roman roy x reader #roman roy x you #tom wambsgans #siobhan roy #logan roy #connor roy #greg hirsch #fanfiction #fanfic #fan fic

[lumiolivier]

In Another Life

Series: One Piece

Word Count: 5153

Rating: T

Pairing(s): ZoSan

A party at Mihawk's (or his desperate attempt to socialize his protege) takes a strange turn when Zoro hears a piano upstairs.

(I've also never written One Piece fic before. Please be gentle.)

Zoro never saw any point in the large, lavish parties.  Nobility or not, Zoro didn’t understand Mihawk’s appreciation to peacock himself.  And for what?  To show off?  To make connections that he’ll ultimately break?  Of course not.  Mihawk had a difference reason for this particular party.  Mihawk was to hold…a flesh auction of sorts.  Not for money or anything like that.  To see his young protégé finally not mope around their villa another summer.

“Do we have to do this, Mihawk?” Zoro whined as he went through yet another suit fitting, “Can’t I just sit this out?”

“No,” Mihawk stood his ground, watching the tailor’s hands work quickly, “You’re going.  Like it or not.”

“I’m leaning toward the not part.”

“Zoro,” Mihawk groaned, “How long has it been since you even knew what a woman looked like?”

“I’ve seen women before,” Zoro rolled his eyes, beyond irritated with him, “It’s not like I’m a stranger to people.”

“Then, why do you always act like it?” Mihawk asked, “Zoro’s too good to be around other people.  Zoro’s always going to be off by himself.  Zoro would rather be alone playing with his sword than having someone else play with it for him.”

“Can we not be disgusting?”

“Can you simply humor me for the night?” Mihawk ordered, “It’s not like I’m asking you for a vital organ, Zoro.  I’m asking you to actually socialize.  Locking yourself away isn’t good for you.”

“Do I not see you every day?” Zoro pointed out, jerking at the pin prick in his hip, “Ow!  What the hell?”

“I’m so sorry,” the tailor winced.

“Don’t make it a habit,” Zoro let it go.

“I’m serious, Zoro,” Mihawk insisted, “You need to be more socialized.  You’d be amazed at what a little elbow rubbing will get you.  Consider this another lesson.”

“You teach me in the ways of the blade,” Zoro reminded him, “I didn’t sign up for this.”

“Then, consider it a bonus,” Mihawk did his best to hold his composure, but the thought of running Zoro through with his own blade gave him much temptation.  But then, it dawned on him.  What had Zoro so antisocial.  But he needed to guide the conversation in the right direction, “Why do you refuse to make any connections?”

“I don’t need them,” Zoro blew him off, idly staring into the mirror in any other direction but his own eyes.

And that’s when all of Mihawk’s theories made sense, “Is this about Kuina?”

Zoro’s jaw tensed up at the mere mention of her name.  The last time he ever truly got close to someone.  His grief tightened up in his stomach.  And he shot a piercing glare at Mihawk, “You had no right.  You had no business bringing her into it.”

“So, it is a Kuina problem,” Mihawk shooed away the tailor and sat at the edge of Zoro’s bed.

And without hesitation, Zoro drew his blade from its sheathe.  Even when being poked and prodded at by the tailor, he wouldn’t be caught without it on him.  He held the tip of his blade in Mihawk’s face, “I said, you have no business speaking her name.  Drop it.”

“And what have I always told you?” Mihawk lowered Zoro’s blade, “Don’t draw your blade unless you intend to draw blood.  Calm yourself.”

Zoro wanted his blade to taste blood.  To let the iron fortify the blade even more.  But he conceded and returned his sword to its sheathe, “I stand by what I said.”

“As do I,” Mihawk assured him, “You will be there.  And for a change, you will be socialized.  Do we understand each other?”

“Please, Mihawk,” Zoro begged, “Don’t make me do this.”

“I’m not making you do anything,” Mihawk got up from the bed and started walking out, “I’m merely saying you’re going to be there.”

“Isn’t that the same thing?”

“I’m not putting bamboo splinters under your fingernails, Zoro,” Mihawk started walking out, “You’ll live.  It’s just one night.”

The moment the door closed, Zoro threw himself into his bed, hoping to get in a quick nap.  Yeah.  It’s just one night.  Easy for you to say.  You’re used to this garbage.  Hopefully, I’ll be able to get in a drink or two.  Or three.  The prospects of the evening started to sound a little better.  Mihawk usually does bring out the top shelf booze for this.  Maybe it won’t be so bad.  As long as he’s not lining them up for me, we should be fine.  Zoro stared up into the gilded ceiling.  Maybe tonight won’t be so bad.  And slowly, Zoro started to drift off. 

But then, night fell over the palace.  And the staff were abuzz with party preparations, decorating, showering the palace in all the lavish furnishings and fabrics Mihawk insisted upon.  And of course, Mihawk oversaw everything.  From the colors, the textures in the drapery to the food left out for the guests to help themselves to, nothing would be put out without Mihawk’s seal of approval.  Which brought him to his next task.  Quite possibly the most important one he had.  Making sure his flight risk protégé didn’t prove himself a flight risk.  Alright, Zoro.  Where have you run off to?

Mihawk checked the gardens, the stables, the library, the study.  Zoro was nowhere to be found.  But then, he realized who exactly he had been looking for.  And the one place he failed to look.  Mihawk trudged upstairs and knocked on Zoro’s bedroom door.  And was met with silence.  I know you’re not napping at a time like this, Zoro.  At least you better not be.  Mihawk didn’t bother with the invitation and walked into Zoro’s bedroom.  Sure enough, still sleeping like a baby, Zoro continued to drool on himself, ever so slightly.

“Oh, Zoro,” Mihawk let out a heavy sigh of exasperation, “You’re lucky I don’t want you dead.  Get up.”

“Mmm…” Zoro rolled over, ignoring Mihawk entirely.

“You know,” Mihawk sat at the edge of the bed, “I have you mostly pegged as a flight risk.  But I should know better.  And truly, that’s on me.  Because why would you run from tonight’s party when you could simply sleep through it?”

“You’re letting me sleep through it?” Zoro mumbled into his pillow, “Thanks, Mihawk.  I knew you’d understand.”

“Zoro…” Mihawk growled, “If you’re not awake, alert, and fully dressed in the next hour, I am taking all of your swords and running them through different parts of your body. Do you understand?”

“Alright!” Zoro snapped, reluctantly rolling off his bed, “I’m up.  There.  Happy now?”

“Quite,” Mihawk praised, “Thank you.  Go on.  Your suit should be finished and in the closet.”

“Wonderful,” Zoro dragged himself toward his bathroom.  But he made a quick stop at his closet, noticing the garment bag hanging in it.

“You could’ve chosen any color under the rainbow,” Mihawk pointed out, “And yet, you decide to go with black.”

“It’s simple,” Zoro took the hanger and brought it with him, “Is that a problem?”

“Not what I would’ve chosen for you personally,” Mihawk shrugged, “If I had my say, it would’ve been a deep red.  It’d suit you.”

“Black is good, too,” Zoro brushed him off and shut the door behind him.

Mihawk rested his head on his knees, beyond done with Zoro’s reluctance.  It still seemed like yesterday this sad boy begged at his knee to teach him the ways of the blade.  Better than what anyone had ever taught him before.  And how irritating he was then.  But the fire in those sad eyes got to him.  And Mihawk couldn’t tell him no.  His raw talent was too good to just throw away.  It needed to be nurtured and cultivated into something great.  However, it was a shame Mihawk couldn’t do the same for Zoro’s personality.  At least, that was how Mihawk saw it.

“Zoro,” Mihawk leaned against Zoro’s bathroom door, grateful to hear the bathtub running, “If you need anything, come find me.”

“What about the house staff?” Zoro asked, already slipping into his bath water.

“They’re busy,” Mihawk insisted, “You find me directly.  Alright?”

“Fine,” Zoro shut his eyes again, doing his best not to fall back asleep.  But he knew sleep would elude him.  He had bigger things on his mind.  Why would Mihawk be so hellbent on me finding someone at this party?  Is he really getting that sick of me?  I thought we were good.  It’s not like he’s asking me for a kidney.  I guess I’ll suck it up for the night.  It’s just one night, right?  Unless I have to sit and deal with whoever ends up finding me tonight for the rest of my life.  Ugh…Just what I need.  I can’t just have a good night with some decent booze, can I? 

As time passed, Mihawk took one last look at himself in the mirror, appreciating what he saw.  Because there’d be no way that at the very least Mihawk would go with a cold bed tonight.  However, this party wasn’t for him.  And as he walked down the hall, he kept his fingers crossed.  Please, Zoro.  Don’t tell me you went back to sleep.  Tell me you didn’t continue your nap in the bathtub.  Tell me you’re fully dressed and ready for this party.  Because I don’t think my heart can handle you still being in shambles. 

“Zoro?” Mihawk didn’t even bother knocking.  He just walked right into Zoro’s bedroom. 

Where Zoro had come out of the bathroom, doing his best to figure out how cufflinks worked, “You call for me?”

“Thank God,” Mihawk let out a sigh of relief, getting an eyeful of his prodigy.  Although, he couldn’t help himself, “What are you doing?”

“I’m trying to put these damn things on,” Zoro continued his struggle, “How does anyone put these on?”

“One cufflink at a time,” Mihawk took them away and pulled on Zoro’s sleeve, “Honestly, Zoro.  Have I not taught you better?”

“In a perfect world,” Zoro grumbled, “This shirt would’ve had buttons on it like I asked.”

“But,” Mihawk stood his ground, “I told them purposefully to leave the buttons off because of the cufflinks I got for you.”

“You didn’t get those for me,” Zoro pointed out, “You won them in a poker game.  That I watched you cheat at.”

“You get my point,” Mihawk hushed him, “Is this the kind of attitude I can expect tonight?  Because I’m not canceling.  There are already guests arriving.  And you’re not going to embarrass me.”

“Do forgive me,” Zoro rolled his eyes, still wanting no part of this.  Unless it had a proof on it.

“Zoro,” Mihawk begged, “Please.  At least try to have a good time tonight.”

“Fine,” Zoro caved, already with his eye on a good sake.

“Thank you,” Mihawk finished off his cufflinks, “Now, go downstairs.  Go meet a nice girl.  Call it a night.  Will that be so difficult for you?”

“Probably not,” Zoro walked out of the safety of his bedroom with a sword on one hip and two swords on the other.  Because he wasn’t going to leave without a little piece of Kuina on him.

Once he made it to the ballroom, Zoro established a nest.  Granted, he knew he wasn’t going to be at one of the tables in the back.  Oh, no.  That meant going unseen.  The head table was where he’d be.  That didn’t mean he couldn’t still make his nest.  He had a bottle of sake for the table and his favorite bottle opener.  Carefully, he ran his blade along the cork and started drinking.  Although, the sudden pop caught some attention.  Zoro knocked the bottom of the bottle on the table, tipped it toward the ceiling and got his first drink down.  Just a little something to take the edge off.  And he could tell right then and there.

This party would be his hell.

The last thing he wanted to do was sit and listen to Mihawk talk shop with the other nobility.  He didn’t care how their businesses were doing.  He didn’t care about their personal lives.  None of that interested him.  If the goal was for Mihawk to find a lovely young lady to keep Zoro warm for the evening, the bottle of sake was a much better place to look.  No one was even worth Zoro giving them a chance.  He just wanted to spend a little time alone.  However, at the height of the party, Mihawk wasn’t going to let him leave so easily.

“Where do you think you’re going?” Mihawk grabbed Zoro’s wrist.

“Bathroom,” Zoro brushed him off, “If that’s alright with you.”

“Fine,” Mihawk stopped him, “It’s funny, Zoro.  I haven’t seen you with anyone all night.  In fact, you’ve hardly strayed from my side.”

“Maybe you should’ve invited better guests,” Zoro played it off like he didn’t care, but he was bored out of his skull and he wanted nothing more than to…use the bathroom.  Yes.  The bathroom.  Just as he told Mihawk.

“Or better yet,” Mihawk growled, “Someone else should be a little more personable.  I asked you one thing, Zoro.  And I need you to come through on that.”

“So,” Zoro groaned, “Do I get to go to the bathroom or not?”

“Go,” Mihawk let him go, “Maybe you’ll sober up some.”

“Yeah,” Zoro walked away.  Wouldn’t that be a damn shame?  He couldn’t stand it anymore.  He wanted nothing more than to escape that party the second he stepped foot in it.  The ballroom was abuzz with activity, with people dancing, with people talking.  It was maddening.  And Zoro wanted nothing more than some peace.  And if he had to retreat to the bathroom to get that peace, then so be it. 

However, on his way, the faint sound of a piano caught his attention.  The band played in the ballroom, but none of them had a piano.  It was oddly soothing.  The only room with a piano in it was the drawing room and it was a rarity anyone was ever in there.  Regardless, Zoro followed the sound.  Because anything was better than the overcrowded party in the ballroom and going back to Mihawk.  And someone had to have been playing it.  Zoro would finally socialize the way Mihawk wanted him to.  And then, Mihawk wouldn’t have a reason to throw a tantrum.

The closer Zoro got to the piano, the faster it played.  He just wanted Mihawk off his back.  But he kept a tight grip on his sword hilts.  Faster and faster, the piano played on.  Zoro couldn’t even recognize the song.  But once he got to the piano, no one was there.  Zoro scratched his head.  Where the hell was that coming from?  I know I heard a piano up here.  It’s right there.  So, who was playing it?  Regardless, Zoro knew there was someone up there.  There was someone who wandered away from the party.  And no doubt with Mihawk’s treasures in mind.  So, he drew his blade.

“Show yourself,” he called out to the empty room.  And yet, silence.  Zoro looked all around the piano.  Still nothing, “I said, show yourself!”

And yet, the still silence remained.  Zoro sat on the bench, still not sure where the music came from.  He put his fingers to the keys.  Where was it coming from?  Am I finally losing it?  There was a piano playing in here, right?  Clearly, there’s a piano.  But who was playing it?  Zoro let it go and rested his head on the keys, letting out a messy chord.  Whoever it was, at least I get some peace and quiet for a change.  I told you already, Mihawk.  This party was pointless.  I need the rest more than I need to socialize.  But just as Zoro sat back up, a sudden chill ran through his head.

“Soft…” a voice echoed through the mostly empty room.

“Who are you?” Zoro stood up and drew his blade, “Show yourself!”

“Soft…” the voice spoke again, “Like moss…”

“I said, show yourself!” Zoro spun his blade, waiting for someone to show up, “I won’t ask again.”

“I heard you the first time,” the voice moaned, “I can’t help it.  I’m shy.”

“Then, tell me who you are,” Zoro looked around for where the voice was coming from and yet…There was no one there.

“I guess it’d be rude of me not to talk to you face to face,” the voice finally took form on the piano.  A man, “You’re easily worked up, mosshead.  Did you know that?”

Zoro had seen a lot in his time.  But never did he see someone apparate out of thin air, “Where the fuck did you come from?!”

“Thank you for proving my point,” he laughed, “Like I said, you’re easily worked up.  And if I didn’t know any better, I’d think you just saw a ghost.”

“I…” Zoro blinked a couple times, still coming to grips with what he just saw, “I…Are you a ghost?”

“Unfortunately,” his incorporeal legs dangled over the edge of the piano, “I am sorry if I startled you.  But your piano was too pretty to pass up.  Do you live here?”

“Last time I checked,” Zoro backed away, “I’m almost positive there’s a priest downstairs.  You need to go.”

“No…” the ghost begged, “Please.  I don’t want to go yet.  I heard the party downstairs and…It’s been a long time since I’ve been to a good party.”

“Who are you?” Zoro asked, “There’s no way you’re just some random ghost that busted into Mihawk’s house like this.”

“Mihawk…Mihawk…” the ghost thought it over, “No.  Sorry.  Not ringing any bells.  But you think I could see?”

“See what?” Zoro scoffed, “Mihawk’s sham of a party?”

“Sham?” he wondered, “What makes it a sham, mosshead?”

“Would you quit calling me that?” Zoro rolled his eyes.

“And I’ll tell you mine if you’ll tell me yours,” the ghost laid on his stomach, his elbows up on the back of the piano, “Deal?”

“Why should I tell you my name?” Zoro argued, “I’m not the one who lured me up here.”

“Did you like it?” the ghost asked, “It got a little heavy toward its end, but someone was coming and I figured I’d get out as much as I could.”

“Not really my thing,” Zoro brushed him off, “It’s Zoro, by the way.  Roranoa Zoro.”

“Sounds like a mouthful,” the ghost rolled over to his back, “Tell you what.  If you bring me down to that party you say is downstairs, I’ll tell you my name.”

“That wasn’t our deal,” Zoro pointed out, “You said you’d tell me yours if I told you mine.”

“So, I’m renegotiating a little,” he shrugged, “Come on, Zoro.  Please?  I’ve been up here for a thousand years and I’d love to see a good party.”

“Have you really?” Zoro asked, “You’ve been a ghost for that long?”

“Not really,” he giggled under his breath, “I’ve only been like this for the last couple years.”

“And,” Zoro started to relax a bit more, sitting back down at the piano, “What happened?  If you don’t mind me asking.”

“I got stuck on a rock in the middle of the ocean,” he told him, “And I didn’t have anyone to come rescue me.  It was a long few months being out there, but now, I’m free.  I can come and go through here all I want.  And no one’s going to tell me no.”

“What if I told you no?” Zoro argued.

“But you won’t.  Do you know how I know that?”

‘How?”

“Because,” the ghost smiled, “You haven’t looked away from me for the last ten minutes.  If I didn’t know any better, I’d think you thought I was cute.”

“Please,” Zoro shook him off, “Why would I think that?”

“Because I am cute,” the ghost retaliated, “I mean…Come on, Zoro.  Look at me.”

“Yeah,” Zoro scoffed, “I’m sure you had all the ladies swoon over you in your living life.”

“You’d be amazed,” he got up from the piano, “Would you feel more comfortable if I was more tangible?”

“What do you mean?” Zoro looked at the ghost strangely, “You can do that?”

“Of course, I can,” the ghost’s translucency went away as he sat on the bench next to Zoro and held his hand, “See?  I’m just as solid as you are.  Truly, mosshead, I’m starting to think I’m the first ghost you ever met.”

“You wouldn’t be wrong,” Zoro got up from the bench and checked the liquor cabinet.  And came up short, “Damn…”

“What?”

“I was looking for a drink,” Zoro told him, “But it looks like I have to go downstairs for that.”

“And I could come with you,” the ghost insisted, doing a little spin, showing off his dark, pinstriped suit, “It’s not like I’m not dressed for the occasion.  Please?  I just want one party.”

Zoro wanted to go back to the party like he wanted to be shot in his foot.  But his curiosity got the better of him.  All he wanted was to know who haunted the halls of Mihawk’s mansion.  And if that meant him going back to the party, then so be it.  But that would come with some stipulations, “If we go down there, are other people going to be able to see you?”

“Just as much as you can see me now,” he nodded, “They’ll also be able to feel me, too.  I’ll be just as tangible as anyone else in the room.  They’ll have no idea I’m a ghost.”

“And,” Zoro went on, “What will you being at this party entail?”

“I just want to go to this party,” the ghost fell back over the piano, “Is that so much to ask?”

“It’s one of Mihawk’s parties,” Zoro grumbled under his breath, “So, yes.  It is.  Fine.  I’ll take you downstairs.”

“Wonderful!” he hopped down from the piano, “Let’s go!”

Zoro knew he’d live to regret this night, but if it meant him having Mihawk out of his hair, he’d be alright with it.  And so, the two went back downstairs to the ballroom where the hustle and bustle seemed to only get bigger.  Zoro rolled his eyes at the spectacle.  Great.  Just wonderful.  And yet, he looked over at the ghost, who couldn’t have been more thrilled to see such a beautiful ballroom.  The food, the string quartet, the people, the dancing.  It all completely swooned him. 

“Zoro…” the ghost took his hand, “Thank you.  I don’t think you realize it, but this is the best gift you could’ve given me.”

And in that moment, there was a strange tug in Zoro’s chest.  One that he didn’t know was possible.  But it managed to force a smile onto his face, “You’re welcome.  I’m glad I could do this for you.”

“And I know it’s making you uncomfortable,” the ghost took his arm, “But really.  It’s not going unappreciated.”

“Don’t mention it,” Zoro shook him off, “I’m going to go get a drink.  Can you do that?”

“I can,” the ghost nodded, “If it’s not too much trouble, cabernet.”

“What the hell is cabernet?”

“Oh, dear, sweet Zoro,” the ghost teased him, “It’s the one in the pretty black bottle.  Probably with a red label.  Says cabernet on it.  Maybe even Cabernet Sauvignon.  You can read, can’t you?”

“Of course, I can read!” Zoro snapped, “And now that I’m thinking about it, I brought you to your party.  You still haven’t told me your name.”

“My memory’s a little fuzzy,” the ghost sighed out, “Maybe a little red will bring it to light.”

Great.  This one thinks he’s funny.  I’m keeping you away from the actual clown here.  Regardless of Zoro’s opinions, he was still a man on a mission.  And there was a beautiful bottle of sake sitting unattended on the top shelf.  And next to it were all of Mihawk’s wines.  Zoro skimmed through the labels, hoping to find one that said cabernet on it.  Fortunately, a bottle of Cabernet Sauvignon sat on the shelf.  He let out a little sigh of relief as he poured a glass for his new…friend.  Or the ghost that seemed to attach himself to Zoro.  And he knew the rest of the night would be miserable, so Zoro just grabbed the sake bottle.

“Here,” Zoro sat at his spot at the table and put the wine in front of him, “I got your stupid wine.”

“Mm…” the ghost picked up his glass and meticulously studied his wine.

“What?” Zoro scoffed, “Afraid I poisoned it?  You’re already a ghost.  Why would I do that?”

“Because you’re a sadist?” the ghost assumed.

“I’m not a sadist,” Zoro took a heavy drink straight from the bottle.

“Fine, fine,” the ghost backed off, “But…I suppose I couldn’t trouble you for a dance, could I?”

“You said you wanted your party,” Zoro pointed out, “You didn’t say anything about me having to participate.”

“Please, Mossy?” the ghost begged, “If you dance with me, I’ll tell you my name.”

“Uh-huh,” Zoro rolled his eyes, “You also said you’d tell me your name if I brought you to this party.  And you’d tell me your name if I got you your wine.  Why should I believe you’ll tell me your name if I give you a dance?”

“Because,” the ghost rested his head on Zoro’s shoulder, “I asked nicely for that dance.  And I swear on my past life and my current one that I will tell you my name.  But you have to dance with me.”

Zoro hated his own curiosity.  But he wasn’t going to break.  Instead, he just got up from the table, “I’m going to go get some air.”

“Wait, Zoro,” the ghost called after him, “Don’t go.”

“Don’t follow me,” Zoro took the bottle with him, “I don’t need this party.  I don’t need the socializing like Mihawk said.  And I sure as hell don’t need to be jerked around by some fucking ghost.”

“Zoro…”

But Zoro was already gone.  Lost in the crowd.  He really did just need to get some air.  Something about the gardens were quite peaceful.  Zoro found himself under the gazebo and sat on the cold ground.  It’s just some damn ghost.  Why am I letting him get to me so much?  Zoro knew the reason.  Zoro knew exactly what it was.  And he hated himself for thinking it.  Because it meant proving Mihawk right.  It’s because it’s not her.  I would’ve thought if I had a ghost attached to me, it’d be Kuina.  Why?  Why does it have to be him?  I don’t even know what his name is.  Why is he getting to me this bad?

“Zoro…” a familiar voice floated through the air.

“I thought I told you not to follow me,” Zoro grumbled.

“I know,” the ghost sat with him, “Why’d you run off?”

“I had a lot on my mind,” Zoro kept cryptic, “I needed somewhere to make it all stop for a while.”

“If it was because of me,” the ghost took his hands, “I’m sorry.  I really don’t mean to jerk you around like that.  It’s just been a while since I had anyone do anything for me.  I liked it a little too much.”

“Oh,” Zoro let it go.  But there was a sense of peace in his thoughts again.  And the music drifted outside.  Zoro got back on his feet and offered the ghost his hand.

“What’s this for?”

“What else?” Zoro shrugged, “You did say you’d give me your name if I gave you a dance.”

“Oh?” the ghost managed to muster up a smile, “Alright.  But ask me properly.”

“What?” Zoro looked at him strangely, “What do you mean, ask you properly?  Do you want to dance or not?”

“Wow,” the ghost giggled a bit, “What a gentleman.  Hard to believe you haven’t been married off ten times over by now.”

“The sarcasm is not appreciated,” Zoro took the ghost’s hand and pulled him a little closer.

“Alright,” the ghost teased him, “I see someone’s not feeling shy anymore.”

“You’re pushing it.”

“Sorry, sorry,” the ghost reveled in the feeling of someone else’s touch.  And in Zoro’s movements, “Hey…Mossy…Can I ask you something?”

“What?” Zoro started to relax a little more, the sake finally hitting his bloodstream.

“Do you think…” the ghost nestled his head in Zoro’s shoulder, “Maybe we met in a past life?”

“I don’t know,” Zoro spun him around, “Maybe.  How do you think we met?”

“I don’t know,” the ghost thought it over, “Maybe we met on a boat.  A big boat.  With a restaurant on it.”

“Maybe we hated each other.”

“But maybe…We didn’t.”

“What?” Zoro wondered, “You think we were friends?”

“I think we were more than that,” the ghost admitted, “But you have your thoughts of our past life together and I’ll have mine.  We’ll close our eyes and pretend like both are real.”

“Who knows if our past lives together are real or not?” Zoro brushed it off, “But…We got tonight, don’t we?”

“Zoro…” the ghost awed, “That’s the sweetest thing you could’ve said to me.”

“Don’t read too much into it.” But Zoro couldn’t take his eyes off the ghost’s.  So deep, so beautiful…And his face so soft and gentle…And the ghost’s slender hips against his own…And he found his peace.

In the silence, the ghost couldn’t help himself.  He knew there was no way Zoro would make a move.  So, the ghost moved into Zoro’s face, barely an inch away.  And to his surprise, Zoro pulled the ghost in for a deep, sweet, and tender kiss.  One that put everything into alignment.  And everything would be ok.  When he pulled away, Zoro still couldn’t believe it happened.  On his list of things that could’ve happened that night, kissing a ghost in the garden was not on it.

“Zoro…” the ghost’s voice broke, “You…”

“Again,” Zoro blushed, “Don’t read too far into it.”

“Fine,” the ghost couldn’t stop smiling, “Do you really want to know what my name is that badly?”

“After that…” Zoro admitted, “I don’t even care anymore, Ghost.  Tell me.  Don’t tell me.  But…I wouldn’t say no if you wanted to do that again.”

“Well,” the ghost rocked back on his heels, “What if I wanted to?”

“Then,” Zoro thought, “I guess I’d have to prove you wrong.”

“What do you mean?”

Zoro pulled the ghost back in, his kiss getting deeper, his tongue finding its way into the ghost’s mouth, “I can be a gentleman if I want to be one.”

“Is that so?” the ghost melted inside, “Why couldn’t I have met you in my living life?”

“Because,” Zoro pointed out, “Then, I would’ve had to mourn you twice.”

“Zoro…” the ghost gave him one last little kiss, “My name is Sanji.”

#fan fiction #one piece #one piece fan fiction #zosan #one piece zosan #op zosan #zoro x sanji #zosan fanfic

[aybeebz]

They'd been on many little excursions, both with and without other friends to accompany them. But one thing was certain: Luigi and Daisy seemed to go off with each other more and more frequently.

It was obvious they were each quite fond of one another...or rather something more than just "fond."

Honestly, Luigi was completely smitten with Daisy. Her brashness, her confidence, her bravery... it all left him completely enamored.

So much so that he felt he didn't have the moxie to openly proclaim his adoration to her for the fear of pushing her away. If only he could muster up the courage to open his heart to her. As much as it hurt him, he'd decided not to get his hopes up of ever truly winning her over. It'd be best to keep his mouth shut on the matter.

.....

Little did he know, she had her own thoughts to share on their situation...

Luigi swallowed the growing lump in his throat. Crap, this wasn't right at all! Had he really given the impression that he was disinterested in her? It never occurred to him that she might read his attempt at modesty as a rebuttal of affections. As difficult as it was, he listened patiently as she continued.

"Then again, I know you're shy and soft spoken. Heh, hell, that's honestly one of the things I love about you. You're this sweet, sensitive, all around genuine fella... That's not something I've seen very often. That's part of what drew me to you..."

"But.... I've also noticed you seem to try to accommodate other's needs and wants... Even if it takes away from you, yourself... The last thing I'd want to do is take advantage of that. I absolutely do NOT want to drag you into something you're not interested in. So I-... I-I guess what I'm trying to say is that... I want to know your true feelings... I'd like to know formally if you'd actually..," she paused, biting her lower lip almost bashfully, "want to be in a relationship with me..."

His heart sank with every word that came out of her mouth. Because his feelings for her WERE very strong... So strong that he wasn't entirely sure how to express them verbally. Sure he hadn't made blatant statements of his affection out loud, but his reasoning was simply that...

He never actually thought his feelings would be reciprocated.

And so he kept those feelings inside, to not be known by anyone but himself. Granted, his brother could read him like a book(and vice versa), but to her? His silence was just that; Silence. Meaning now he had to clarify what his true thoughts were about this spitfire of a lady he'd grown to swoon over.

A task easier said than done.

"So please, Luigi... Spare my feelings. And be honest. How do you really feel... about me?.."

He steeled himself as he tried to think of how he wanted to word what he had to say.

"Princess, I-"

"Just Daisy."

"I- Uh?.."

She shifted her stance uncomfortably. "We're way past formalities, aren't we? Please just call me by my name."

Luigi nodded. "Y-yes, yes, you're right." He took a second to clear his throat. "Daisy... I know I've not been very, eh... Direct with you. A-And I'm so sorry for that. I never, NEVER meant to make you think that I don't enjoy your company... I actually enjoy it a lot, honestly."

He fidgeted in place for a moment, trying to assess the vibe of the space they occupied. Daisy remained in her guarded position, brows still furrowed ever slightly. A shiver went down his spine.

'The way she can intimidate a person by looks alone... What a woman~💞' he thought, briefly.

"You have this, ah...," he gestured his hands in a circle motion as he tried to think of the word, "I don't know... this presence about you that is so strong, so fierce... A-And you have this passion for living life to the fullest, facing everything head on without fear... I may not be saying this correctly but..."

"...."

"You're one of a kind, Daisy. Deserving of so much more than... than an awkward tinker that doesn't know what he's talking about... I could never imagine that someone as amazing as you are... would settle for a klutz like me..."

Her expression softened as she uncrossed her arms. "You're not a ''klutz,'' Luigi..," she chuckled, "I mean, you might be a little clumsy, maybe a little awkward, but that's not a bad thing. If anything, I find it endearing. I like that you're not perfect." She smiled up at him fondly. "... that you're authentically yourself. That's more than enough for me."

Luigi's face flushed at that last statement. It took him a second to realize he'd gone silent again. He cleared his throat again. "Okay... rambling over... You deserve to hear what I've neglected to tell you."

"And that is..?" Daisy quietly asked, eyes wide in anticipation.

Taking a long, deep breath, he gingerly placed his hands on her shoulders. He tried desperately to swallow his nerves.

"Prin- Ah-... Daisy. I... I..."

He could feel the color rush to his cheeks as he sputtered. He panicked. Why NOW of all times was he drawing a blank?

"I... I uh..."

Daisy's intense, waiting gaze didn't quite help his nerves. If anything, it made it so much harder to speak his mind.

'SAY SOMETHING YOU FOOL!!' he screamed at himself internally. There had to be some way to convey his feelings clearly!

"Um...."

......

Before he could think, his hand gently traveled up her arm, past her shoulder until it caressed her face...

and then-

His heart raced. The rush of sheer bliss that clouded his mind was unreal. To hold the woman he adored so close, so intimately was.... pure ecstasy~

But all too soon he suddenly snapped back to himself.... 'Oh no... Oh no! Did I overstep?? Was this unwarranted?? What have I done?? She's gonna be so angry with me!! I have to apologize!! Oh stars, I've ruined everything!!' his mind was flooded with thoughts of regret and embarrassment.

But before he could pull away to explain himself, to express how ashamed he was... he felt her warm hands resting atop of his wrists, steadying them. Glancing up momentarily, he realized she was leaning her weight ever so slightly into him as her soft lips pressed against his own.

She was... Kissing him back?

Huh... Maybe This was the right call after all?

His eyelids slid closed and he allowed himself to enjoy the intimate moment.

They stayed like that for what felt like an eternity.

After a few moments, Luigi finally pulled back to look her in the eyes. With a new vigor in his demeanor, he knew exactly the words that truly described his feelings for the princess of Sarasaland.

"I love you, Daisy..."

In wonderment, she stared back at him. Then a sweet, yet sly smirk crept across her lips. "Well I'm glad the feeling's mutual... cuz I don't know what I'd do if I couldn't kiss you like that again~💕"

It seemed that FINALLY, their relationship could officially be considered solidified❤️

#mario bros #nintendo #super mario bros #luigi #luigi x daisy #luigi and daisy #luaisy #princess daisy #Forgive me #I'm not a gifted writer #I've had this drabble staring back at me from my drafs for the past month #Hope this isn't too cringe :') #I just craved some slight angst with these two #Also.... k-kiss👉👈

[mcflymemes]

PROMPTS FROM NOTTING HILL *  assorted dialogue from the 1999 film, adjust as necessary

can i stay for a while?

i went out in my goddamn underwear.

you are lovelier this morning than you have ever been.

wait, what about me?

do you wanna come up?

there seems to be lots of reasons why i shouldn't.

i thought you were leaving tomorrow?

would you like something to eat?

i enjoyed the movie very much.

i love that you tried.

i'm sorry i'm so late.

it just got to the point where i couldn't remember any of the reasons why we were together.

nevertheless, they're yours if you want them.

ah, that's not yogurt. that's mayonnaise.

nice try gorgeous, but you don't fool anyone.

exactly. here we go again.

i just wanted to apologize for my friend. he's very sensitive.

do you feel that way?

can i ask you why you are wearing that?

do you want to stay?

you haven't slept with her, have you?

which way are you going?

how do i look?

god that's an enormous arse.

the thing is, with you i'm in real danger.

i'm sure you didn't mean any harm.

james bond never has to put up with this sort of shit.

sorry, you think you deserve the brownie?

you can stay forever.

that is a cheap question and the answer is, of course, no comment.

let me just have a quick look.

would you like a cup of tea before you go?

do you always have to say no to everything?

it's as if i've taken love heroin, and now i can't ever have it again.

it's a clinical thing.

no no no! i thought you were someone else.

you know what they say about men with big feet.

sorry about the "surreal but nice" comment.

is this your first film?

what's the pay like in movies? i mean. last movie. how much did you get paid?

you said "whoopsidaisies."

do you ever masturbate?

no one knows why some things work out and some things don't.

she said she wanted to go out with you?

everyone in the world knows who you are.

i'm also just a girl... standing in front of a boy... asking him to love her.

what is it about men and nudity? particularly breasts? how can you be so interested in them?

every time i get my heart broken, the newspapers splash it about as though it's entertainment.

the more i think about things, the more i see no rhyme or reason in life.

one day not long from now, my looks will go, they'll discover i can't act and i will become some sad middle-aged woman who looks a bit like someone who was famous for a while.

next question? yes, you in the pink shirt.

are there any circumstances that you and he might be more than just friends.

oh god. this is one of those key moments in life when it's possible you can be really, genuinely cool... and i'm failing one hundred percent.

what's all the fuss about?

some people do spend their whole lives together.

anybody saying they want to go out with you is... pretty great, isn't it?

did you know, and this is pretty amazing, but i once saw ringo starr.

probably best not tell anyone about this.

it was sort of sweet, actually.

i've made the wrong decision, haven't i?

i can't believe you have that picture on your wall.

it feels like how being in love should be. floating through a dark blue sky.

busy tomorrow?

you daft prick.

if you'd like to ask your question again?

just going to the kitchen to get some food, then i'm going to tell you a story that will make your balls shrink to the size of raisins.

#rp meme #rp memes #rp prompt #rp starters #roleplay memes #rp musings #roleplay prompt #ask meme #ask memes #roleplay inbox prompts #roleplay meme #writing prompt #askbox meme #rp asks #inbox meme #inbox prompts #inbox prompt #rp inbox meme #sentence starter #sentence starters #sentence starter prompt #mcflymemes #notting hill #romance prompts #romance memes #love prompts #love memes #movie prompts