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girl8890 · 2 years

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Jin | Unwanted Reunion (I)

Summary: Once pining lovers from the past, unmated but soulmates nonetheless. Fate brings you two together after all this time, and catching up on all that you’ve missed stirs feelings you want to shove away from your being. For Seokjin, on the other hand, those feelings have never been able to leave.

Pairing: Demon King!Seokjin x Human!Reader

Genre: demon!au, soulmates!au, royalty!au, exs-to-lovers, smut, fluff, angst

Rating: 18+

Warnings: unwanted kiss, reunion of past lovers & friends, pining, groveling, past sexual encounters, soul binding, near death experience, attempt & success at murder, blood, death of a minor character, jealousy, possessiveness, sexual dreams, implied masturbation (m & f), heavy petting, nipple play, body worship, vaginal fingering, dry humping, hand job through clothes

Teaser

。・°°・°°・。。・°°・°°・。。・°°・°°・。

When Jimin first told you he got a new tattoo, you thought nothing of it. Not even when he fidgeted like a nervous kitten about it. It wasn’t until you saw said tattoo, that you knew it wasn’t put there by ink and needle. You’ve seen enough mate bonds when you were with your ex… boyfriend? Friend? Whatever… to know that this specific marking was not made by a tattooist. You knew, because you also once thought you would have the same mark with a different letter inside eventually.

No… this marking was put there by a demon.

Not just any demon, to Jimin at least, but one he mated with. Had sex with. And apparently had mutual love with.

That was the only way to gain the marking. By having sex with a demon that loved you and you loved them. With all of this knowledge of yours swirling in your brain, you still can’t get over the fact that Jimin—your best friend of over ten years—fell in love with a demon right under your nose. You were doing so good at not getting involved with any demon business since you and… him… split up. Even while you were directly involved with said business you were able to keep your family and friends unaware of the fact that demons existed.

“How?” Is all you ask Jimin once your shock of seeing the mark has wore off. But even as you state your single worded question, your eyes can’t remove themselves from the almost skin colored blossom filled circle with the letter T inside.

Jimin nibbles on his bottom lip. Trying and failing to keep the secret you once also had to keep. “I don’t know what you mean. How I got it done? I just walked into-“

“No, Jimin. I mean how did you fall in love with a demon!”

Jimin is shell shocked when you reveal your knowledge of the deathless beings. Him clearly not knowing that you knew. “Y-you—you know!”

You roll your eyes. Hating that he ignored your question, but answering his anyway. “Yes, Jimin, I know. Almost had one of those marking myself once upon a time.”

You gesture to the marking on Jimin’s neck, and he subconsciously touches itwhile looking at your neck. Like a marking similar to his would suddenly appear on it.

“But who would— Seokjin.”

You shut your eyes at the sound of his name. The person that once filled your heart with so much joy, now just a name that fills you with nothing but agony. Jimin knows about your past… lover? He was the one you went to crying about him all those years ago, and he was also the one to help you put all the broken pieces of your heart back together. He never met him, though. You wanting to keep the few people you cared about in this lifetime out of the dangerous world of demons.

Looking back, you don’t think it was fair of you to just skip out on the person that claimed an undying love for you, but it has also been almost two years since you saw him. Leaving his kingdom with blood all over you, and nothing but nightmares in your wake. You loved him at the time, sure, but once you finally got a good peak at what it would be like to be together with a demon you were ready to leave. Leaving behind a shattered heart, as well, when you told Seokjin you were leaving.

It was good that you left. You needed to leave. The others would never accept their demon king to be mated with a lowly human, like yourself, anyway. To the point blood was spilled for you, and that was something you never wanted to be your life. You didn’t want the responsibility of someone’s death, even a demons, to be your life. Packing your bags, and thanking the heavens that you didn’t sleep with Seokjin when temptation rose so many times.

“Yes…” You say after a moment to answer Jimin’s question. “He was a demon, and that’s in the past now. More importantly, who did you mate with? Is he your soulmate?”

Jimin raises a pointed eyebrow at you, confused by a part of your words. “Soulmate?”

You shut your eyes and sigh in annoyance. Of course whoever this demon was didn’t explain to him the entirety of Jimin’s new-lifelong-situation. Forget the mysterious and secret type. You being the one that was always being kept secrets from even if you were promised a part of their lives.

You explain to Jimin everything this demon undoubtedly didn’t tell him. That demons had soulmates, and it was very rare for humans to be their soulmates. Even more rare that they can successfully mate with them, since the premise of eating their soul was always on the table. But here Jimin is, alive and still has a soul. You knew that meant something, at least.

But the explanation doesn’t stop there. When a demon has a soulmate, they get possessive over them. What yours is mine, and what’s mine is mine type of thing. It’s even worse if the soulmate pair become mates, because then the pair is forever trapped with each other. It won’t affect Jimin, since he’s a human, but you bet your bottom dollar that the demon he mated with is somewhere hiding in the shadows inside your apartment right now. Watching Jimin with two black eyes.

You scoot closer to Jimin on your couch, when you start to explain the feeling they get from being away from their mated pair. Something you barely understand yourself, but try your best to explain “Basically, if a mated pair is away from each other for to long, it hurts them. Like, in the heart or some shit. That’s why mated pairs usually stay together always, but since you’re human you don’t have that problem.”

Jimin subconsciously looks around your apartment, expecting whoever his demon mate was to suddenly appear, but the coward stays hidden in the shadows—for now.

“B-but Taehyung didn’t tell me any of this! I don’t want him to be hurt, but I also don’t want to stay in that kingdom forever, either! I have school t-to finish and work to start a-and-… shit.”

Jimin sighs, and drags his body against the couch in defeat. This is what demons do. They trap lowly humans like Jimin and you, promising an amazing life, but once the entirety of that life is explained to you, you understand why most humans die in the hands of a demon instead of fall in love with them. For not being willing to give up their soul, or for this situation, their love.

You put your hand on Jimin’s knee, trying to sooth him. “It’s alright, hun. Maybe he’s different. Maybe this Taehyung won’t-… wait a minute. Did you say kingdom?”

Jimin said a lot before, but you didn’t realize until now that he said he would have to go back to the kingdom. There’s only one kingdom that you know of when involving demons, and it doesn’t just house the demon king, but also his close lackeys.

Jimin looks at you confused, not really in the mood anymore to talk about such trivial things like kingdoms when you basically told him his life maybe over. “Yeah… Taehyung lives there. Brought me there, and introduced me to the king. Why?”

You feel anger bloom within you first. Squeezing your eyes shut, and balling your fists when realization dawns on you. If Seokjin is involved with this, there’s no way this demon simply mated with Jimin without telling him everything first for no reason. You stand up, making Jimin jump by your sudden action, and you look around your apartment living room like you’ll suddenly be able to see the demon you’re looking for.

“Come out here!” You demand. “I know your there, so stop hiding like a little bitch!”

No one appears, making your blood boil even hotter as your furry flows through you. Jimin, on the other hand, is cowering in his spot on the couch. He’s never liked confrontation. You on the other hand would welcome it if necessary.

You decide your going all out to get the demon that screwed your friend over, and you grab onto Jimin’s hand and hoist him out of his seat. Surprised the demon doesn’t come out by just that action, but your not stopping there to get its attention, anyway. Jimin is staring at you wide eyed, and you know he’s about to be very confused after you do what you plan to do.

With the grab of his face, you pull him in to place a fat kiss right on his lips. Jimin squealing under your hold and wiggling around in your arms.

You know Jimin’s gay, and you don’t have a single attraction tendency for him, anyway. Sure, he’s attractive, but right now it feels like your kissing a sibling instead of a loved. You aren’t kissing him for long, though, because within seconds of your lips touching your lips are forcefully getting torn apart by something with nonhuman strength.

You get pushed against the couch, harshly. And after the whiplash wears off you look up to see a demon with black eyes, currently gray skin, and brown close to shoulder length hair keeping Jimin behind him and far away from you. You know he only looks like this because he’s angry, but out of all knowledge about demons one things always for sure.

Their possessive of what they think is theirs. And with that mate mark on Jimin’s neck, this demon, Taehyung, doesn’t like you touching his “property.”

“Don’t fucking touch him,” Taehyung growls at you.

You smirk up at the demon, feeling victorious even though he’s starting at you like he wants to tear your heart off. You put your hands up, faking surrender. “Surly. I’ll never touch him again once you explain why the fuck you’ve involved yourself with him.”

Taehyung squints your way, the color in his eyes and skin melting away as what he normally looks like comes back. What was once full of only black reveals brown human-like eyes. And what was once gray on his skin is now a sun kissed tan.

“Huh?” The demon has the audacity to look confused.

It’s Jimin’s turn to take his anger out on the demon. He jumps out of Taehyung’s tight hold, and puts himself in between me and him.

“Why didn’t you tell me about soulmates? Are we even soulmates?”

Taehyung’s once mutually angry demeanor diminishes once he sees Jimin’s close to tears expression. He reaches out to touch him, but Jimin swipes his hand away. Making the demon frown at his actions.

“Yes, Jimin, we are. I was going to tell you…” Taehyung makes work of looking at you accusingly. “But the king said to wait.”

Jimin squints, confused at Taehyung while I stare at him wide eyed. The demon looking over at me and telling me silently that he knows. Of course he knows, though! If he lives with Seokjin, then of course he knows about the human women that was once being prepared to be queen over them all. A life you left two years ago, and still today plan on staying away from.

But then there’s Jimin’s life…

“What does the king have to do with this?! Why does he care at all about me and you?”

Taehyung just keeps staring my way, and I know the answer to Jimin’s question because of it. That conniving bastard. How dare he involve my friend in all this! To, what? Get me back? As if!

I look away from Taehyung at the same time Jimin follows his line of sight to me. Jimin slowly putting the pieces together of why his life has suddenly been flipped upside down.

“Y/n… is King Jin, Seokjin?”

Your hands squeeze into white fists when you hear the nickname you gave him spoken out loud. Seokjin coining it as his new titled name when you were living with him, and keeping it that way after you left. You sigh, trying to breathe through your frustration and headache this all just put on you.

“Yes, he-… the king is Seokjin.”

Jimin’s jaw drops when you confess the connection between you and the most powerful being in the demon kingdom. Not liking how he’s suddenly fidgeting because he thinks he needs to bow or some shit like Seokjin used to make everyone do when they greeted you back when you lived with him.

“I-I-… I’m shocked!”

You roll your eyes. “Really?”

It’s Taehyung’s turn to interrupt. Him being most likely put in the dog house after all of this has been revealed. “I’m sorry I didn’t tell you, Chim.“ What the fuck is that nickname? “But what the king says is law. I told you what Jin is capable of, and he used it against me and you to get to her. I-… I’m sorry you were involved in all of this.”

Jimin’s once vexed expression overturns when he faces Taehyung. The demon looking defeated about what he could not help, and you honestly believe it. The second he said he had no choice against Seokjin, you believed every word. He would always try to keep you out the heat of his fury by keeping you out of the “business meetings” altogether. But one day your curiosity got the better of you and you saw how far the kings abilities stretched.

Him being able to cause pain or kill others with just a look, and the threats of doing that being just as affective. Demons had many unique abilities, one being the ability to pop in and out of places whenever they pleased. Another being they can stay invisible to humans, and even rip their souls out of their chests when given permission—unless they kill them first, then they don’t need permission.

But Seokjin, he was the king. He’s lived as the king for a long time, and was handed down the powers of his father when he died all those centuries ago. One being the simple wish of someone’s death can happen within a blink of an eye.

You shiver when the nightmare of seeing that in person opened up in your mind. The sad part being the first time you saw it didn’t elevate you to leave. It wasn’t until that death was because of you that you left altogether.

After going through all these thoughts on your own, you look back at Jimin and Taehyung and grimace when you see the two making out. Whatever they said to each other while you were daydreaming about the past obviously being enough for Jimin to forgive him.

“Not that I discriminate, but-“ Jimin pulls himself off Taehyung when he hears you talk, and looks at you with a reddened face. The two of them forgetting you were even there while their tongues were tangled. “I prefer not to see my best friend get a hard on in my living room, thank you.”

Jimin looks at you with a glare full of death, and Taehyung smirks behind him. Grabbing onto his hand, and looking at Jimin like he holds the world in his hands.

Your heart aches when you see that look. You once had that look pointed at you from a demon and you remember like it was yesterday learning the extension of the love that look possessed. How endless a demons love could be, and how even after death they would stay loyally in love with you. So many mantra and quotes like that swirling in your head suddenly, and you shake your head when the person that told them to you appears in your mind.

Not wanting his angelic, handsome face to fill your mind anymore then it has today already. Not how beautiful his eyes were that when he looked at you it always made you swoon. Or how pillowy soft his full lips were when you two…

Ugh! Get it together!

“Alright!” You say, jumping out of your seat. Jimin and Taehyung look to you at your outburst. Jimin looking concerned, while Taehyung looks like he gives two shits less. “He wants to meet. Then will meet.”

Taehyung smiles triumphantly, while Jimin now looks more perturbed. “What! Y/n, no. You can’t do that. You haven’t seen the guy in years. What if this is all a trap to get you back?”

“Oh, it definitely is. It’s clear as fucking day that it is, but I’m not just going to let him mess with my friends lives either. He wants to meet. Then will meet… I just won’t be so full of sunshine like I was last time he saw me.”

Your gears are turning, thinking up all the ways you’re going to curse him out and Jimin is watching it all happen in front of him mortified.

“What! No, you can’t-“

“Chim, the king wants her. He didn’t give much specifics, just that he wants her back in the kingdom. And that he would…” Taehyung cuts himself short there. Like even uttering the threats or what Seokjin said would happen was too hard to say.

Jimin looks between the two of you conflicted about weather to console his lover or convince you not to go. In the end, he sighs in defeat. Whispering a “fuck,” under his breathe because he doesn’t know what else to say.

You slap your hands together, getting both of their attentions again. “Let’s get a move on, then. The sooner I can get this unwanted reunion over with the better. What’s the worst he can do, anyway?”

Kill you. Force you to stay with him. Threaten Jimin’s life if you don’t do what he wants.

And the lists goes on, and on, and on, but no one says anything as you all get ready to make the jump to Seokjin’s kingdom. You grab onto Jimin’s hand, not taking the offered one from Taehyung because even thinking about touching a demon makes your skin crawl, and you feel the dark energy consume your being when Taehyung starts the jump to another dimension.

Within a blink, all three of you leave your apartment like you weren’t even there to begin with.

———

When the black fog drifts away, you find yourself in the entrance hall of Seokjin’s castle, and your stomach drops to your fucking ass.

You forgot all the emotions being in this place used to stir in you. How you would get so excited about learning about all the artwork that was carved into every wall and ceiling. How you used to find it so fun to glide across the smooth granite flooring like you for ten, and the person you did this all with making your stomach do flips instead of sink.

You don’t know why you thought you would be so confident being here because now that you’re actually here your feeling dizzy. Letting go of Jimin’s hand to hold your forehead and wanting to pass out from all the nerves that shot through you.

Jimin turns to you instantly, his eyes widen when he sees you’ve become pale. “Y/n, are you okay? I know traveling that way can make some feel-“

“It’s not that,” You say with the wave of your hand. “I-it’s this place… a lot of emotions building from being here.”

Jimin looks guilty now, him being the only reason you’re here in the first place and if you weren’t so anti-violence you would smack it right off his face. You try to force a smile, but it turns into a frown when a sudden wave of nausea hits you after a hearing a friend of yours from so long ago speak.

“Welcome home, Y/n.”

You turn around to see a currently bowing Yoongi, one of Seokjin demon warriors. He’s been close friends with Seokjin for longer then either of them cared to comprehend, and he just so happens to be the loyalist of them all. One of the few who gave you any respect, and didn’t secretly threaten your life when the king was nor around.

He stand up from his bow, eyes shifting into black for a moment. You swallow even through your throat is dry, and wave awkwardly at Yoongi. “Hi, Yoon.”

The demon grins when he hears the nickname you coined him when you two first met all those years ago.

“It’s been far to long, my… it’s just been far to long.” You heard what Yoongi decided not to say. My Queen. A title that would have been your right to have if you and the demon king mated, and you hate how your body stiffens when you realize this. Thinking about the what ifs and being in the place you once called your home is not helping your resolve at all. Before you could go through another dizzy spell for all this swirling in your head, Yoongi speaks again. “The king has been expecting you. Taehyung, Jimin, you two can stay here. I’ll escort-“

“No.” Resolve is back. And your not playing by Seokjin’s games. “I’m not staying in a room alone with him.” You grab onto Jimin’s shaking hand to clarify that, and Taehyung’s eyes widen when you defy the elder demon in front of you. But Yoongi just smiles, not taking offense to your interruption or lack of understanding. You being one of very few he would allow this of.

“Ever the difficult one. Aren’t you, Y/n?”

You hold your ground, not paying attention to the wide eyed and scared Jimin next to you.

“Ever the vague one. Aren’t you, Yoons?”

You both crack a smile at this. You can’t help yourself. It’s like not a day has gone by since you saw your friend. The game of trying to up the other with words playing out just like it used to all those years ago.

But then your smile falls, realizing what Yoongi is doing. He’s reminding you of everything you left behind. Wanting you to enjoy your time here, and maybe even stay for the familiarness over everything else. You weren’t. You won’t.

“I stand at what I say. I’m not seeing him, or even being near him, alone. Jimin comes with me or will both leave together.”

Taehyung quiet gasp is heard behind you. His reaction this time being about the fear of losing his lover, and said lover stiffens beside you, but you pay them both no mind. Standing your ground as you look to the demon you once called your friend.

“I’m not sure if-“ Yoongi cuts himself short, and you see his eyes move back and forth as they swirl with darkness. Having a silent conversation with most likely the man of the hour himself.

Another ability some demons have is the ability to read minds. If two demons can read minds, then having silent conversations like this is possible. You would have be very old to obtain a power like that, though. Something you used to make fun of Seokjin adequately about.

After a moment, Yoongi sighs. “Alright. You can bring the other human. Taehyung stays here.” He sends a pointed glare Taehyung’s way, and you don’t understand what the hatred is for hidden behind those eyes. “Come with me.”

Jimin’s hand squeezes your own, and then you both follow silently behind Yoongi. You try to ignore Taehyung’s sudden and loud gritting of teeth as Jimin gets taken away from. Each step closer to Seokjin’s office had you begin to sweat and your heart beat in your ears, anyway. The memories of how happy you used to skip this way to him flooding your mind, and further making you sweat for different reasons.

The things that went on between you and Seokjin in all parts of the castle were rather… lewd. But you never went all the way. At the time you always got frustrated when Seokjin didn’t let you you two go all the way. To complete the mating ritual that was so tempting, but now your grateful you two didn’t.

You suddenly feel weird about that fact. Seokjin could have trapped you with him for life if you both just did what was so alluring to you both instead of hovering around it. But he didn’t. It definitely wasn’t for the lack of want, you’ve been proven by him enough times with his tongue and fingers to know he wanted you, especially when what was hidden underneath his pants rutted against you in the process. But still, he never pushed it further. Not even when you begged like a whore for him, or let him push his head inside you just to tempt him yourself.

You shiver at the remembrance of that day. When you both were sweaty, in his bed, and naked. He pushed you to two orgasms already, and he was so close to striking his own resolve away to just fucking you already. Pushing the head of his cock in between your widely spread legs, and the little stimulation blew your mind.

You can’t be doing this. You can’t be remembering these types of things, or any good times you spent with him. This is how he traps you. This is why he chorused you into coming. It’s just extremely hard not think of the past when every place you step is a reminder of the past.

When the three of you make it too the office door, you push all the positive memories aside. As a last resort, even though you haven’t imagined this day so clearly in quite sometime, you think about the day it all went to shit as Yoongi knocks on the door.

Seokjin doesn’t need to ask who it is because he already knows. You hear his smooth voice carry through the door, “Come in.”

The door is opened by Yoongi, and instead of looking anywhere in the room you stare right at the floor in front of you. Remembering the tragic day that had you running out of these doors four years ago…

———

You don’t remember why you decided that day to come to Seokjin’s office unannounced. In fact, you felt you should have never been there in the office even while you push open the door. Last time you were in here was when you accidentally saw him kill a demon with a snap of his fingers.

It’s okay, though. He explained to you why the demon needed to “go,” but it still haunted you to see the blood poor out of the unnamed demons eyes and nose. The second your eyes locked in on the scene in front of you that day, Seokjin had you both swirling in smoke and transporting you both into a different room.

He was shaking with worry, and Seokjin doesn’t worry. He doesn’t contemplate things that have not happened yet, but in that moment he thought you would want to leave him forever. Even if the demon he killed was a a bad guy. One that thought killing a whole school of children was a good way to gain power. That’s how demons gained their power, after all. If not from being handed down power from their parents, then from consuming souls of mortals.

You forgave him for that. You held him in your arms and consoled him of his worries. But right now, standing outside the office you once did on that day, you feel that familiar sting of fear in the back of your head. Like you shouldn’t be entering this office right now.

You shake your head front the thought, remembering that no one but Seokjin and his youngest lackey are probably in this office at the moment, and then you push open the door without announcing yourself. You never needed to. Seokjin just always knew it was you.

Your smell, he said one day, was the reason he always knew. It always had a rose undertone to it, and one that he’s never smelt before. He would say it was the most beautiful thing he’s ever smelt, and then he would ask you to never change. Never wear perfume or change what you do because you as your natural self was gorgeous as is.

So you push open the door with a small smile on your face for the joy of thinking you’re about to see your lover, but are disappointed when you don’t see him and instead see his youngest warrior.

Jungkook, the youngest demon in Seokjin’s kingdom, and the one who hates you the most. As your time here has lengthened, less and less people have decided to hate you. But Jungkook was not one of those few. Being young, and easily manipulated, he followed suit of his own father to think humans are nothing but batteries for demons to use to charge. And the fact that his king, the one he looks up to and wants to learn from, is soulmates with a human boils his blood.

The young demon scowls at you, and you try not to ignore the weight of knowing it’s only you and him in this room right now as you ask, “W-where’s Seokjin?”

He hisses at you, and it has you stumbling back a step. “What the fuck do you care? He’s not here and neither should you be.”

You straighten your posture, not letting this demon make you feel inferior just because Seokjin is not around to make everyone that defies you or him feel smaller. You never felt smaller around Seokjin, so you shouldn’t around this demon either.

“No. He asked me to meet him-“

“Ha!” You balk at Jungkook’s loud laugh, interrupting your words.

“What’s so funny?”

Jungkook’s smirk stretches to an irregular shape, and your two seconds away from running out the door because of it. “Your funny, little girl. To think Seokjin would ask you of anything but to spread your whore legs for him, makes me believe your lying.”

You raise a pointed eyebrow at him. Shocked and appalled by what’s he’s saying. “Well, your an asshole.” It’s Jungkook’s turn to looked shocked. “And yes he did. The maid came to me and-“

This time, you cut yourself short. Thinking back about the maid that summoned you here she looked… off. Almost possessed even. At the time you just played it off as her having an off day, but now that you see Jungkook’s gruesome smile you’re suddenly realizing your situation.

Jungkook was one of few demons, Seokjin included, that can manipulate other demons mind’s. Jungkook was second in line for Seokjin’s throne if he didn’t create an heir, so he had this ability as a high ranking demon.

“Looks like the sheep has finally realized her predicament.”

You don’t waste any time. Spinning on your heels you run towards the door, hearing Jungkook’s cackle of laughter behind you. Just when your hand clamps around the handle of the door, everything starts to turn black around you. The black fog of Jungkook’s mana surrounding you.

You scream bloody murder when you feel your skin start to heat up. A heat that is suffocating you, and making your screams turn into choked sobs. Falling to your knees and you try to look through the fog to find some light, but all you see is darkness. Each lung full of air you take feels like it’s laced with poison, and you start to spit out blood.

Unlike Seokjin, Jungkook’s abilities are much more slow. He can kill you, but it would take time. Something you find way scarier then just the blink of the eye killing, and for the first time you feel what it’s like. To slowly feel yourself die, and hearing a cackling laughter as you do.

You start to cry as you fall completely to the ground. Cradling your legs to your chest like it would somehow protect you. Each intake of air isn’t helping you stay alive like it should, but you push to keep your eyes open.

With one last resort, you yell for Seokjin. It comes out grumbled and a balk of blood comes out of your mouth as you do so, but you say his name nonetheless. You cry out his name because it’s the only person you can think of to save you, and he’s the love of your life. The person you want to be with for the rest of your life.

You want him to take care of you, and sleep next to you. You want to always be by his side, and have him tell you the stories about the carvings in the walls. You want to hear him tell you he loves you one last time, and have him smell your hair when just the whiffing of air around you isn’t enough. To feel his lips against yours just… one… last… time…

And that’s what you think about as everything turns black. Seokjin holding you close to him, your lips joined together and you whimpering when his tongue touches yours. Him chuckling against your lips from the knowledge of how easily your affected by his kisses. Then he would detach his lips from yours and tell you,

“I love you always.”

That near death experience should have been the worst of your day. It should have been the worst thing you ever witnessed or experienced, but it wasn’t. No. The worst thing you ever witnessed or experienced happened when you opened your eyes.

First, you’re surprised your not dead. You seriously thought you were a goner after Jungkook grabbed a hold of you. But your not. Your alive and your vision his slowly becoming clear as you smell the scent of blood in the air.

You think, at first, it’s your own blood. That the blood you spit out earlier was the culprit, but as soon as your eyes clear you see in front of what’s actually creating that metal taste in your mouth and nose.

Blood everywhere.

Blood on the walls, ceilings, and every piece of furniture in the room. It’s like someone painted the whole room with blood, and thought it looked nice enough to stay like that. It’s seeping out of every crevice of the room, and you gag at the overwhelming amount of it that you see and smell.

Your naïve enough to start patting your own chest, thinking it’s yours at first until you hear the person’s voice you thought about before blacking out behind you.

“Y/n,” Seokjin says in crying moan.

You turn around, thinking your lover will be able to explain what has happened here, but once you see him your at a loss. At a loss because you didn’t need to ask.

Seokjin has blood all over him. In his hair that you love to run your hands through, on his lips that you love to kiss, and on his clothes that you find yourself always nervously taking off. It’s all over him… but it’s not his blood.

You raise to your feet, staring at him wide eyed and jaw dropped. He takes a step forward, and your heart stings when you take a step backwards out of fear. Seokjin’s own eyes widen for a second, and you see his throat bob as he swallows.

“Y/n… this isn’t… he was going to hurt you.”

You didn’t need him to explain it. You didn’t need to explain that you were the cause of the young demons gruesome death because it was now painted everywhere. You don’t know why you didn’t expect any different. You don’t know why you didn’t expect any different from the king.

Maybe it was because you trusted him. You trusted him not to hurt other’s on your behalf, and that his possessiveness was only because he loved you. But right now, as your look at his bloody hands, you feel sick to your stomach.

Your the reason Jungkook is dead, and you love the murder to death.

———

You blink away the horror of a memory, and try your best not to choke on a sob. Smelling the air now is like you can still smell the metallic liquid everywhere. After that day, when Seokjin apologized to you over and over again for having to witness such a thing, you made a decision that would change the way you saw your future forever.

You left. You left because you didn’t want blood on your hands ever again even if it wasn’t you committing the murder. Even if the man went to attack you, kill you even, the knowledge of knowing he died so young and so gruesomely haunts you. You haven’t allowed yourself to think about that day for a long time, but you grab onto it as you and Jimin walk into the room, and you turn to see the person that still somehow makes your heart skip a beat every time you lock eyes.

“Hi Jin.”

Seokjin’s eyes lock with yours the second you allow them too. He stands from his chair as you walk into the room, and you hate the shiver that’s wanting to course through you when you see his face again.

The way he takes in your form, starting at your feet and ending at your eyes when they met for the first time. His ears twitching when he hears you say his nickname out loud for the first time in two years, and being so close to begging you to say it again, or worse... say his real name instead.

His heart sores at having you so close to him again, and you miss the way he quickly takes in a sniff of the air. Your rose aroma lighting up his senses and making him want to pull you into an embrace so he can sniff up your smell even more. How he’s longed to have you in his arms again, and right now you're no more than a few steps away. He can easily take a few steps forward and entrap you in his arms, but as much as it pains his heart to not do so he stays standing where he is.

You don’t know any of this. You don’t know any of what Seokjin is feeling because for one you can’t read his mind, and for two you're to distracted from seeing the person that once owned your whole heart in front of you.

He’s still as handsome as ever. Still beautiful in every way, and it doesn’t feel like a day has gone by since you saw him last. You remember being so starstruck when you first met him over four years ago, and you wondered how it was possible for a person to look so angelic.

You fingered out how two years later, when the angelic face you’re currently looking at revealed himself as anything but an angel. You want to smack yourself for staying with him after you were given that knowledge instead of running for the hills and seeing the red flag for what it was. The red flag that demons were anything but sexy. But you still see the man in front of you as what he is. As beautiful.

And you hate yourself and him for it. For him being born with looks that would make any girl gladly drop their panties for. You swallow down the increasing amount of saliva in your mouth that forms when he smiles at you. Wanting to run up and punch him in that pretty face of his for still being able to affect you like this.

“Hello, Y/n.”

You sharply take in air when he says your name. Suddenly all the ways he used to moan your name in your ears awakening in your mind, and you clench your jaw because of it. Scowling at the demon king.

A silence stretches, and you and Seokjin don’t take your eyes off each other for a single moment. You wonder if he’s read your mind just now, something he promised so long ago not to do but you’ve come to realize he’s bad at keeping promises, and you hope he has this time. Your hateful thoughts for him filling up your mind, and you hate him even more that when he frowns at your scowl you somehow still want to sooth him.

Jimin squeezes your hand, taking you out of your staring contest with Seokjin to look at your fearful friend. You sigh, bringing yourself back to reality but still holding onto the hatred you’ve convinced yourself you have for the demon in front of you.

“You wanted me here, now what?”

Seokjin chuckles at your straightforwardness. Loving and missing how you never feared to tell him how you truly felt. Soulmate bond aside, he thinks he would have fell for you even if it wasn’t there to begin with. Everyone was always afraid to tell him the truth about how they felt. Fear out of him killing them for speaking their minds, or for being tortured until they changed their minds.

This was a fear brought down on him from his father. To unpopular belief, and your past encounters with Seokjin making you think otherwise, Seokjin only kills others that rightful deserve it. He doesn’t kill others for having opposite opinions or even standing up for themselves. Justice in the demon world is very straight forward. You do something wrong, slap on the wrist. You break a law to the point it almost destroys everything the demons have created, then you die. There's no second chances for those who disturb the universal peace.

There’s only been one time that Seokjin ever killed for sport, and it was to protect you, but he knew it would come at a cost. Even before he ripped the young demon prince to shreds, he knew it would cost him his relationship with you. He wanted to be the man that you deserved and didn’t let his born with trait of being possessive and protective over you get in his way, but he couldn’t stop himself once he saw you the way you were. Dying and crying out for his help. So, he did what he promised you and himself he would never do. Killed someone—demon—for touching you like the possessive bastard he is.

And he doesn’t regret it. Losing you, yes, but never saving you. You're still alive today because of him, and he hopes having you back here will help you remember that fact about Seokjin. That he would always save you no matter what the cost was. Even if the cost was your love for him.

Seokjin steps forwards, closing the big gap between the three of you by five feet and you stiffen in your spot by the increasing proximity of the two of you. “Yes, you're here. Did you miss it?”

You raise a curious eyebrow at his dumb and sudden question. Of course you missed this place! But you’re not going to be telling him that. “No. I didn’t miss it no more than I missed you.”

Seokjin winces at your words, feeling them cut into his heart but he tries to remind himself you’re just angry and don’t mean it. You can’t mean it because your his soulmate and that type of love is never changing.

You feel a little guilty for your harsh words, but you stand your ground on the matter without blinking. There’s was no way you were going to be nice to this guy, even if you still find yourself desperately wanting him to smile again.

“Why did you want me here, Jin? Why did you want me here so badly that you even affected my friend?!” You punch out your words one by one, and you hope it hits him right in the stomach like you know his answer will do to you.

Seokjin smiles... and it kills you.

“You know why, y/n. It’s been two years, but I know you haven’t forgotten who we are to each other...” You squeeze Jimin's hand to the point he winces, and Seokjin glances down at your conjoined hands. He feels the slightest bit of jealous for the boy next to you being able to touch you like that, but he puts it to the side when he remembers who he is to Taehyung.

Looking back at you, he softens his voice when he confesses, “I still love you, y/n.” You shut your eyes, thinking that would somehow make his words disappear with your sight. “And I know you still love me.”

Eyes open again and full of accusation. “What happened to never reading my mind?”

“So you admit that you still love me?”

“Absolutely not!”

Seokjin chuckles, thanking all of his years of knowledge about you for what he’s about to say next. “Then why are your ears red?’

You subconsciously touch your ears with the hand not still in Jimin's, and curse at yourself. One thing you and Seokjin have in common is that your ears will turn red if you’re lying, even if your mind hasn’t caught up yet that you’re, in fact, lying.

“It’s hot in here,” You explain, trying to breathe through the lie this time and not make your face red as well.

Seokjin glides his bottom lip through his teeth before he smirks at you. He steps forward, and your back straightens. He steps forward until he's only a foot away from you, and you clench your teeth when the proximity has your knees almost buckling underneath you.

He knows what he doing. He’s thinking he can flirt or bat his eyelashes into making you fall in desperate love for him again, but no way were you falling for it. You won’t allow him to get to you.

“Well, we are in hell, darling. And you're standing in front of the king of it.”

You scoff. “Is that your new way of flirting? Throwing around your title like it will some how get me back.”

“Who says I'm flirting?” That smirk on his face does, and you realize now he’s wanting this banter. He’s wanting you to talk to him, and react how you used to anytime these types of play fights went on with the two of you.

So, you ignore his question and ask him another. “What if I don’t want to live here again?” His smirk falls. “I left for a reason. A reason that very much involves you, so why, in all ways, did you think bringing me here would suddenly change that? You do know it’s been two years. I know you do. But in two fricken years you thought the best way to win me back was to trap my friend in a relationship, and then bring me here to... what? Win me back with your flirtatious tongue and pretty face?”

You feel your face heat up from your last few words, Seokjin’s smile kicking back up at knowing you still find him attractive. Also, this wasn’t Seokjin’s first idea. It feels like his hundredth, but in reality he’s only had three real rational ideas.

One idea was to just... take you. That was the worst idea, and one that still pains him to think about, but it was an idea nonetheless. To claim you as his while you still loved him, and keep you with him forever. Once that toxic idea simmered down, his next idea of talking to you in person was brought up.

Seokjin has secretly looked over you for the past two years a lot, and some of those times he wished he didn’t. The day he decided to reveal himself to you, to talk to you and convince you he’s not a bad guy and still loves you... you were on a date. Seokjin knows if he were to even say the guys name you wouldn’t remember, since that date was the first and the last time you ever saw him, but it was still a date. A way for you to get over Seokjin, and in return break his heart further.

Seokjin isn’t a very jealous person, but he finds himself always jealous of the people you allow close to you besides him. It never got to the point where he wanted to control you, that’s not who he is. But when he saw you on the date with that guy, he wanted to rip him to shreds. He wanted to kill him for gaining the attraction of you like he once did, and then devour his soul so there was no chance of another one of him in the future.

Seokjin got very depressed after that. He didn’t leave his room because if he did he was afraid he would go and kill the guy, and then prove you right that he was exactly like his father and all the other blood thirsty demons he’s executed in the past. It wasn’t until a whole month had passed that he finally left his room, finally calm and able to breathe, so he decided he had to be creative with his next plan.

It just so happens that on that exact day, Taehyung, his newest demon recruit to his castle and the youngest, admitted he found his soulmate. He said a lot of regretful things to the young demon that day. A lot of regrettable threats that he knows he will have to apologize to him one day for, but it’s all worth it if he gets to say to you the words that make you react the way you do.

“No. That’s not how I'll be winning you back because I know you. You're not someone who can be toyed with, or deserves to be either... It’s just-... I’m desperate, y/n. I’m desperate for you because I fucking love you, and it pains me to the fucking core that I made you so scared of me that day that you left me. I just—If you could just-…Please just give me one more chance. A year tops, please.”

You don’t even realize you’ve let go of Jimin’s hand until Seokjin is finished speaking. Your heart, stomach, fucking brain cells feel like they all are about to explode! You’re surprised even when a tear leaks down your face, and you allow Seokjin to place his hand on your cheek and wipe it away with his thumb. He takes his hand away right after, but you don’t miss the way you both shivered at the small contact.

You swallow over the lump in your throat, trying and failing to keep up the tough girl act as Seokjin’s sweet words till echo in your head. Seokjin has always been so good with words, and you had a feeling that if anything were to destroy your resolve of never staying here again it would be Seokjin's incredibly beautiful words.

Words he only always said to you.

“One week,” You say in response, and Seokjin smiles with teeth and all.

“I’m charming, but I'm not that good... six months.”

“One month.”

“Forever.”

You roll your eyes, and find yourself cracking a smile when he chuckles at his own funny way of make this deal seem less like a business venture. But a deal with the devil it still is.

“One month... Seokjin.”

You’re a little devilish too because once his name on your lips registers to his ears, you could have said a day and he would have blindly said, “Deal.”

———

A few things happened on that first day in the kingdom, one of them being that as soon as this deal was set, Jimin was “suddenly” needed to be somewhere with Taehyung. You called bullshit, but you let him go nonetheless because you know from experiences that the best place for Jimin to be is with his soulmate—who just so happens to be a demon too, and why you’re in this whole mess in the first place, but you’ll continue yelling at the pair about that fact later.

Seokjin luckily had a meeting to go to, and that just left you by yourself… mostly. You once lived in this castle, so you thought maybe Seokjin just trusted you to know your way around the place.

WELL! No more than an hour later, you realize what “being left on your own” meant for you for now on. It meant a barely concealing himself Yoongi was around. As soon as you felt his presence, you were in one of the hallways that the bedrooms stretched through. You stopped in your tracks, rolled your eyes, then yelled out into the not so empty hallway, “You can come out at any time!”

Yoongi then popped his head out behind a sculpture, his invisible cloak of power falling off of him. You smile at the blonde headed demon, and wait in your spot until he stands next to you. The you both continue on your re-tour around the castle side by side.

“I maybe just assuming somethings, but it seems like you were following me,” You say with an accusing raised eyebrow, and thinned out lips.

“You wouldn’t believe me if I said no, would you?”

“Nope.”

“Thought so.” You chuckle at Yoongi’s way of just easily getting around the subject. You secretly wanted to ask if Seokjin set him up to do this, but you didn’t want to seem like you-

“Yes, he very much did.”

You sputter at his invasion of your head. Smacking him in the shoulder for good measure. “Don’t do that!”

Yoongi just shrugs his shoulders like it’s no big deal, but then he lays on you an accusation thats very much a big deal. “Why do you care if Seokjin thinks you like him?”

“Because I don’t. You all know I don’t want to be here, so showing any bit liking his way would be futile for me.”

You both hit a sharp turn in the hallway, and Yoongi looks at the back of your head like you’re crazy. Out of all demons, Yoongi doesn’t really care much about human. He doesn’t care if there around or not, just as long as they stay out of his and his kings way, and currently, you’re in his kings way. Making him freeze all important meeting for the next month as we speak.

Seokjin didn’t tell you this, of course, but he doesn’t want a single distraction when it comes to winning you back. That includes meetings like which clan gets which part of earth to feed off of. Seokjin is the one to make those decisions, but since he’s going to be putting it on hold for you, Yoongi would rather push this little drama fest a long as much as possible. “But you do love him.”

You stop in your tracks again, breathe through your nose, then turn to face your demon friend. “No. I. Do. Not! ... Why does everyone keep saying that?”

“Huh, I don’t know. Maybe because A, I remember what you two were like when you lived here—disgusting to watch, by the way—and unlike Seokjin I don’t give a shit about what you think about reading your thoughts.” You’re about to tell him that you don’t think anything of the sort. That he’s clearly reading someone else’s mind, but then he leans in closely to you and says, “So an seven inch dildo was the closet in size, huh?”

Your jaw drops and your face becomes as red as a tomato.

Yoongi looks at you with a neutral face, not even giving you time to explain or hit him as he continues to walk forward and yells back at you, “Yup. So not in love.”

Okay, so, he was clearly talking about the toy you bought and what you... bought it for. It was weak moment for you. A couple of months ago you started to feel very low, and your dreams of Seokjin suddenly become a regular basis thing. You were lucky that after you left and got settled, that your mind was only consumed with thoughts of Seokjin at night maybe once a month, but out of nowhere it became an every night thing.

You hated your head, and you hated your body for reacting in such a way when the dreams became sexual. It got to the point that you manned up and bought a fricken sex toy to satisfy yourself. Thinking it would help with the dreams at least a little bit. Seven inches being the best you can find and best to compensate with your dreams. But those dreams don’t mean you love him still. There's a difference between sexual attraction and love. One of which you think you’ll sadly always have for the demon king while the other one you kicked out of your headspace a long time ago.

Just when Yoongi turns a corner to leave you there alone in the hallway, you shout at him, finally getting over the shock of what he said, “That doesn’t mean I love him!”

“What doesn’t mean you love who?”

You jump, crying out, “Jeaus!,” and spinning around to see an already smirking Seokjin. He has his arms behind his back, and you have a feeling by the way he’s looking at you right now that he heard your entire conversation.

You wipe at your face like that will some how remove the very prominent blush on your face, then stutter out a unconvincing, “N-nothing.”

“Mhmm,” Seokjin says as he leans in closer to you. “Sure it was.”

You roll your eyes, and cross your arms in a pout. Not missing the way Soekjin’s eyes flick downwards toward your breasts popping out of your shirt now when the action pushed your breasts upwards. You also don’t miss the way you feel the smile grow on your face because of it. Stupid ass emotions. Always making hating other people more difficult!

“Have you found your way around, okay?”

You roll your eyes again, and turn to continue on your track of wondering around the castle. Seeing in the corner of your eye a still grinning Seokjin walking next to you.

“Yup. I did live here for two years, in case you forgot.”

Seokjin chuckles at your attitude filled answer, “Trust me, la mia rosa. I have not forgotten.”

You turn you head to the other side, shut your eyes and trying your best not to stutter when you demand, “Please don’t call me that.”

Seokjin bites his bottom lip, trying to stop his smile from growing. “Why would I do that? I also haven’t forgotten how it used to affect you.”

La mia rosa. Translating from Italian to English it means my rose. A name that used to turn you into a puddle of goo when he called you that, and he nor you have forgotten said feelings it brought up in you.

You turn back to face him, ready to lie through your teeth and say it’s not like that anymore, but once you turn Seokjin has put himself mer inches away from you. Clearing any words that were going to come out of your mouth. You back up, and he follows with each step. It’s not until you hit a wall that he stops in his tracks, but you have to look upwards more to talk to him directly. His already tall frame making your neck also have to stretch and reveal your neck to him.

Seokjin’s eyes are drawn to the smooth surface of you neck. A place he remembers drawing out the symbol of his mate mark on, but never pushing himself to do so. He watches a single drop of sweat drip down your neck, and he’s so tempted to wipe it clean for you. To touch your skin again and feel one of many favorite parts he enjoyed kisses and nipping to the point you would wither underneath him.

It isn’t until you whisper his name, suddenly sounding like your mouth has gone dry, that Seokjin’s eyes flick back towards you. He moves forward, and you’re helpless to let his nose trace your own. Breathing in sharply when you feel a part of his you used to love admiring so close to you. Unable to control yourself, your eyes flick down to his lips. His plush lips so close to touching your own, and you have to hold yourself back from falling into them. His lips are just so-

“Say it again,” Seokjin begs of you.

You blink up at him, staring up at him through your eyelashes and suddenly feeling ten times hotter then you were a few moments ago. “W-what?”

Seokjin smirks, and for the first time since seeing him again you’re not mad at him for it. His close proximity is dizzying, and making you forget everything you promised yourself. “I said, say my name again... please.”

You swallow, glancing around the hallway. But each time your eyes move they are trained back to his own. It’s like a vortex. You unable to look away, but feeling like you shouldn’t be around the destructive pools. The please is what gets to you, though. It’s asked so gentle, and almost like he’s dying to hear you say that singular word as much as he needs air to breathe. You lick your lips, whimpering when his nose slides across your forehead next.

“Please, la mia rosa.”

And now you’re helpless not too.

“Seokjin.”

The demon sucks in air through his teeth. Such a small gift from you has made his once dying heart shutter at the sound. Seokjin has dreamt about you so many times since your departure from his life, but never, not once, did you call him by his real name in his dreams. It became a torturing affair. Just a few months ago the dreams would repeat themselves and then slowly started making him restless.

You would be in his bed, and the dream would always start and end the same from there. He would think it feels so real. That you've come back to him and want to complete the ritual of making you his mate. Seokjin wouldn’t hold back because he was desperate for you. Waiting two whole years—no, six years to finally make you his in every way has made him this desperate. But then, when you would speak, it wouldn't be of his name.

Always Jin. It's a nickname you gave him, and he adored it, but it wasn’t his name. Even if he asked you to say it, you wouldn't. No matter what the scenario, you would never say his name.

So right now, Seokjin is a mess. He falls to his knees in front of you, not caring if anyone were to pass and see their king in such a lowly state. He’s embracing your middle, and you freeze when you feel his two strong arms wrap around you.

“Oh my god, what are you doing?” He stays silent. “Seokjin?”

And then you hear weeping. Crying against your stomach is the mighty demon king himself because you said his name. Not that you forgave him, or even want to be with him again, but you simply being here—being real—and saying his name has broken the demon king right down the middle.

“I've waited for you for so long,” Soekjin says through a sob. “Fuck, I've missed you so much... You have no idea how much it hurt to be away from you.”

Your eyes widen, replaying his last words. He said something earlier about being in pain for not being by you, but you just thought it was him being dramatic with his sweet words. Now, as he withers on his knees in front of you, you know what he says is completely real.

Most of your relationship with Seokjin revolved around you finding out information about the demons soulmates and mating rituals through small hints. But one thing that has you holding back a sob is what he just said to you. Something you know will happen for sure if the two of you were to ever....mate.

“H-hurt you?”

Soekjin nods against your stomach, inhaling your sweet smell like it’s his lifeline and squeezing his arms tighter around you. “Yes, la mia rosa. Hurt so fucking much.”

“B-but I thought... but we never...”

Seokjin understands what you’re implying, and he sighs against your stomach. He was a terrible person when you two were together. He kept so many secrets from you, and with that mixing up your knowledge of his world with it. It's true, if you two were to mate and complete the bond between the two of then it would pain Soekin to the very core of him to be away from you. It’s one of the reason why he never pushed completing the ritual because he knew you would hate to have someone so obsessed with you. It was even one of the first things you told him after he portrayed his possessive tendencies the first time.

One man walking down the street whistling at you, and Seokjin was ready to rip his throat out. It wasn't until you slapped him in the face, and told him to calm the fuck down that he was fine again. Black eyes turning brown, and gray skin turning white again.

But the thing is, you don’t need a complete the mate bond for a person to feel pain from being away from the other person they love. No, this has to do with Seokjin’s love for you. His undying devotion towards you. He doesn’t need a soul or mate bond to tell him he never wants to be away from you because he has enough pure love for you to know he would never want to be without you again.

“This isn’t the mate bond, y/n.” Soekjin whispers against your stomach. He looks up at you at the same time you look straight down at him. Your eyes meeting and never straying from each other. “This isn’t the soul bond either.”

He takes you hand at your side, and places it on his heart. The rapid beating of it under your palm making your breathing stop altogether.

“This is because I love you always.”

———

A few things happened on that first day in the kingdom. Yes, a few strange but heartwarming things. You ended up sitting there with Seokjin, feeling lighter than air, for what felt like hours. Some moments were filled with silence, while other’s were formed with chatter of all the things you've missed from each others lives.

It was hard not to let go of the past when Seokjin was literally on his knees and confessing his feelings to you all over again. You even made it a point to tease him about it eventually, and comparing it to the first time he told you he loved you.

It was the same day you found out he was a demon, but before that whirlwind of knowledge he decided to lay on you a whirlwind of emotions. You never saw Seokjin shed a tear before, but he cried many happy tears that day when you told him you loved him back and that you have for awhile. Seokjin is a very emotional being, but sadly he only ever feels safe enough to express those feelings when with you even to this day.

It’s crazy to think of everything that’s transpired since then. How many heart aches and heart throbs you and Seokjin have went through, and put on each other. One gut wrenching thing being having to ask where your room was, since you never really had your own room in the kingdom.

You know Seokjin was thinking the same thing as you. That you never had your own room because once you moved into the castle your spot was always next to him even while sleeping. But even after everything he’s literarily laid at your feet of emotions, you still can’t forgive him. Not yet, anyways.

It’s only been one day since you've reunited, and you're not letting go of what you promised yourself. And you continued to keep that promise for the days that followed. You stayed at a safe distance since the moment you two shared in the hallway, and kept yourself busy with walking around the castle with Jimin.

It wasn’t until one night, a week after you've arrived, that you find yourself breaking your promise to yourself once again...

It was a restless night for you. The plaguing dreams of Seokjin and you walking around the castle once when you first entered the kingdom all those year ago resurfacing out of nowhere. You luckily woke up before the dream of a memory got to the part where he kissed and pinned you against a tree that day, and you suddenly felt very thirsty.

You looked around the mauve room, feeling a chill run down your spine as the darkness makes the already dark interior more horror movie-ish. You shake your head, remembering the fact that you’re in a castle full of demons, and that the boogie man or whoever it is that comes out from under kids beds has nothing on your castle companions.

You get up from the bed, hearing the not very used mattress creak underneath you as you stand. You wonder why that room was even there in the first place, but when you brought it up in front of Jimin, Taehyung felt welcomed to tell you it was made for the kids future wife. If the king never found his soulmate, then most likely he would have to be a part of a loveless marriage and that would be the queens room. Knowing what that room was supposed to be used for, and that it’s you out of all people that get to sleep in it made you feel... honestly, you weren’t sure at this point.

You do know, however, that you're very thirsty. You walk to your bedroom door, about to roam down to the kitchens only used for human guests since demons didn’t need to eat real food, to get a glass of water. But your thirst disappears once you open the door.

With the pull of the wooden doors handle, a once sleeping Soekjin falls down with it. Him waking up instantly when his head hits the floor. You stare down at him, wide eyed and baffled that he was sleeping on the floor and against your bedroom door.

“Seokjin! What are you doing here?” You whisper yell at him even though no one else but you sleeps in this hallway that your room is located at.

Seokjin blinks up at you, suddenly realizing he’s been caught sleeping outside your room, and then stands up to his full length in the blink of an eye. He smooths out his black leather jacket that he’s still wearing since daytime, and tries to play off what he's been doing everyday since you arrived here as something new.

“I couldn't sleep.”

You glance around the room like it will have a better answer than the one he just gave you. “So you'd decided the best way for you to sleep was outside my room?”

He nibbles on his bottom lip nervously, and realizes there’s no real better way to explain this situation with anything but the truth. “I sleep better when I'm near you, and-... and I just wanted to be near you.”

His last few words are said in a a whisper, but everything is so quiet right now that you heard everything. Your hand goes slack on the door, and you feel your whole body deflate when looking at a desperate looking Seokjin. A look you’ve been seeing on him a lot lately when he’s trying to get your attention. Attention you've been trying to point at anyone and anywhere but him.

You sigh, and give into your resolve when the guilt of what you have been doing suddenly hits you. The man told you it hurts him to be away from you, and you’ve been trying to do exactly that. Now, that’s just cruel. So, with another breathe of a sigh and seeing Seokjin’s pouty look, you gesture your arm into the room.

“Just get in here.”

Seokjin smiles brightly when you offer him to come in, but he tries to cover it up right after by coughing into his fist. You try to hold back a smile as you watch him walk into your room, him acting like a smiling doofus about it and failing at covering up his happiness.

Before you could second guess yourself, or even think about how this is going to be incredibly awkward, you get back into bed and under the covers. Not facing Seokjin who’s currently standing on the other side of the bed. You quickly tuck yourself in, pressing the blanket high up to your neck even though your white oversized t-shirt, and blue Mickey Mouse shorts are not even close to anything sexy. You face the opposite wall and hold your breathe to hear what Seokjin is doing next to you.

It takes him a whole minute to move, but when he does you hear what sounds like a movement of clothing—him probably taking off his leather jacket from earlier— and then you feel the bed dip as he gets into bed. It’s complete silence between the two of you now. You could hear a pin drop in this room, but that’s expected when you both are supposed to be going to bed. But after what just transpired, not to mention you have your ex laying were inches away from you, there’s no way you’re going to sleep anytime soon.

Seokjin shifts in his spot in the bed, and you suddenly feel heat radiate against your back. You squeeze your eyes shut, hoping he’ll think you’re asleep, but he already knows your not.

“Y/n,” He whispers close to your ear, and you have to hold back a shiver when you fell his breathe fan your hair. “I know your not sleeping.”

You sigh, opening your eyes, but not turning to face him. “What do you want, Jin?”

He smiles when he hears you hiss out his nickname. Still as feisty as ever. “Can-… can I hold you?”

Can he hold you? Can he hold you. You should scream the answer no. Kick him out for even suggesting such a thing, but instead you say nothing. The silence stretches between you two, and you guess Seokjin took that nonanswer as a yes because then your feeling an arm wrap around your middle.

You stiffen when you feel his strong arm hold you, him resting his chin against your shoulder.

“W-what are you doing?” You know what he’s doing. He’s cuddling you, but what you don’t understand is why?!

Seokjin suddenly sniffs in your hair, and it takes everything in your power not to whimper when he does that. He used to love sniffing up your scent especially in your hair. Although to some that seems so weird, but to you it was always so adorable. Like he loved every part of you so much that he even loved the shampoo you choose to use.

“Nothing,” Seokjin says. But it’s not just a whisper like before. It sounds deeper, alluring even. You try to close your eyes again, but you can’t help yourself and peak downward when his hand starts to rub at your stomach through the shirt.

“Is this, by any chance, my shirt?” You can hear the smile in his voice, and it makes you want to kiss it off. I MEAN SMACK IT OFF! Fuck he’s making this hating him thing so hard right now.

It is his shirt. A shirt you stole from him before you left the castle the first time, but your not going to admit that to him.

“No, it is not your shirt.”

“Oh, really? Then who’s shirt is it?”

You try to think of a good enough answer. You could have just said it was yours and you have a liking of oversized shirts, but because your feeling like being a total bitch tonight for some reason you say something that you know will really get him heated, but at the same time isn’t a total lie.

“An exs.” Seokjin stops rubbing your stomach, and you smirk when you hear him growl close to your ear. “Should probably return it to him, actually. Been awhile since I’ve seen him.”

You feel Seokjin stiffen behind you, and you think he’s totally bought your somewhat-lie. But then he’s breathing out a sigh of relief, and your raising an eyebrow at the wall in confusion.

“It is your exs.”

“Huh?”

“Because it’s mine… trust me, I know my shirts when I see them. Especially since this is the only shirt that went missing after you… left.”

You shut your eyes when you feel yourself getting emotional from how he said the word left. Like it was painful for him to say it in the same sentence, so he had to space it out. Making it seem like you leaving wasn’t real.

“Maybe it is,” You mumble to yourself without even thinking, and even though he says nothing in return you can imagine him smiling behind you right now. It’s a smile you used to cherish so much that you can imagine each one of his straight white teeth in a row.

The silence stretches between the two of you again, and he’s resumed rubbing your stomach. All you can hear now is his breathing close to your ear, and it’s relaxing you to the point you feel your eyes actually slowly shutting to fall asleep. Just when you’re about to close your eyes again, readying the whole sequence of going into dream land, you feel a singular kiss against the back of your neck that has your whole body wide awake again.

You stiffen, and that singular kiss vibrates throughout your whole body. When you don’t say anything or even protest against it, Seokjin kisses the same spot again. Drawing out the press of his lips against you this time. You don’t move, and you don’t say anything. Instead, you shut your eyes and just allow it to happen. It’s been far to long since anyone has kissed you that way, and right now you’re too relaxed to care who it is.

Seokjin continues to press slow kisses against the back of your neck, and when he rounds your neck to kiss the side of it you stretch your neck to give him more access. He smiles during the kiss to the side of your neck when you do this. That you’ve finally just sercombe to letting him love you the way he used to.

Although, if your memory is correct, when he would kiss you like this it would lead to much more dirty and sensual things. You can’t let him do that. You shouldn’t let him push any further. This is enough freedom for him for tonight so you should really tell him to-

Seokjin slips his hand underneath your shirt at the same time he kisses behind your ear. Him kissing your sweet spot he knows so well at the same time his fingers dance across your stomach has you gasping. He continues to smile as he touches and kisses you, and now you’re practically shaking in his grasp. Your not sure if this is because you’re basically touch starved or if you actually like it, but you even let out a soft moan against closed lips when he nibbles at your ear.

He groans against you ear when he hears the first moan he’s coaxed out of you in two years. Dragging his hand up higher, so it’s right below your breasts on your sternum.

Without removing his face from near your ear, he whispers to you invitingly, “Do you want me to keep going?”

God, fuck, say no! Just do it! Rip off the brand aid and have him get off of you. Be the tough, strong girl you’ve been acting like this past week and get him away from you!

You may have thought all these things more then once, but instead you say in a small voice, “please.”

Seokjin bites his bottom lip, staring down at your restless expression from the side, and then he resumes kissing down your neck. With the slowest of movements you feel his hand that was once resting at your sternum traveling into the valley of your breasts. His wrist making contact with your already hard nipple, and you don’t hold back the breathy moan that comes out of you this time.

After a few more kisses at your neck, and a few other ghostly touches around your breasts, Seokjin removes himself from you entirely. You blink open your eyes and stare at the wall. You’re actually about to protest against him leaving you, but once you look to the side to look at him directly he’s going down your body and straddling your ankles. Yes, ankles.

His face is right at your now exposed stomach, and he places a soft kiss against the exposed skin. You bite your lips as you watch him cascade both his hands up your stomach and under your shirt again. When his hands finally cups your breasts, you arch your back up into them. Moaning as he pinch’s and press against your nipples with both hands all the while he continues to assault your stomach with kisses.

In between moans and explosions of pleasure, you look down at Seokjin and see his eyes already directed at you. It makes everything you’re already feeling right now ten times worse.

“Fuck, Seokjin!” You cry out when he twists your nipples with his pointer and thumbs. He groans into a kiss against your stomach, moving his face kiss yo your stomach faster then he did before. When his center reaches your leg, you feel his hard cock against your cafe. Now you know the magic word to get him going.

You say his name over and over, each one louder then the last. Just like you’re touched starved for love he’s starved for your whimpers. He ruts against your thigh, and you have to grab onto his shoulders to steady yourself—tilting your head back as you moan out his name again.

“Shit, baby, you sound so pretty. I missed your voice so much. I missed you so much,” You feel tears float down your face, and it’s because you’ve missed him too. You missed being this close to him, and talking to him, and just holding him. You missed all the things only your dreams allowed you to have for two years.

“mmm… I missed you too.”

With one last pull on both your nipples, Seokjin pushes your shirt up until both your breasts are exposed to him. He attaches his mouth to your left nipple. Nibbling and sucking on the bud as his hand pinches and twist the other one. You grab onto his hair—not too hard to pull it, but enough to keep him there. Not like he was actually going to go anyway. His tongue swirls the bud and your arching up into his mouth so he can some how take more of you.

If Seokjin could, he would consume all of you. He’s practically trying to suck your nipples right off your body, and making them feel sensitive to the touch. You’ve always been so sensitive on this part of you, and it just so happens to be his second favorite part of you to touch. His first favorite part being what’s currently extremely damp in between your legs.

“More, Seokjin. Please give me more!”

Your pussy is throbbing by now, and you want more then anything to feel his fingers inside of you… well, there’s one other thing, but you know he would never do that to you. He’s lucky to have you the way he does right now. He can wait a little bit longer to ask you to be his mate, and finally complete what’s been teased over both your heads for far too long.

Seokjin detaches himself from your nipple, smirking up at your fucked out expression. You don’t think there’s been a single time you’ve closed your mouth since he started touching your nipples. Having to lick your lips since they’ve gone dry.

“More? What could I possible do, that’s more?” Seokjin closes in on your lips. Hovering above the one place he has yet to kiss at the same time one of his hands touches your thigh. It’s all a losing battle. Everything with Seokjin against you is making you crumble into the bed, and you honestly forgot what it was like for you to try and hate him.

You never hated him. That’s why. Not for a single second. You were angry, yes. Upset, most definitely. But you never once hated him. Now it’s just a call of if this relationship is right or now, but at the moment you don’t care if it is. You just want him to touch you and kiss you until you pass out from oversensitivity.

So you say, “Anything you want.” And you mean it. You would give him your heart if he asked you right now, and you know he would do the same if his groan from your words means anything.

Seokjin smashes his lips to yours, and what starts out as a small whimper turns into a loud moan against his lips. The hand once on your thigh digging right under your shorts and stroking your clit immediately. As much as you want to enjoy the first taste of his lips you’ve had in two years, the stimulation he’s giving your clit right now is making it hard to focus on anything else.

He eventually does detach himself from your lips, biting his lip right after with wide eyes so he can capture everyone of your faces that you’re making right now.

“So beautiful, y/n. Your so pretty and so fucking hot… I bet your still tight as you used to be.”

You grab onto the bed sheets when his finger starts to slide across your entrance. The tip of his finger almost going in because you’re so wet from all the stimulation he’s been giving you up until now.

“I-I-… I haven’t…” You can’t even say it. But you want too. You want to make sure he knows the truth about what exactly this part of you has been doing the past two years.

“Huh? Couldn’t quite catch that, baby. Looks like you’ll have to say it again.” He’s smiling, and you want to kiss the smile right off of him. That’s right kiss. Forget your incompetence earlier, you want to kiss those plush lips until you can’t breathe anymore.

You swallow, trying and failing not to moan as his thumb starts to rub at your clit now. He’s really not making it easy to talk right now… or breathe… or even think!

“I said… I could n-never—fuck!—I could never find the right size!” You literally screamed your words as his finger finally enters you. All so he can stop again and look at you with a question in his eyes.

“Right size?”

You swallow, face heating up because you know what you’re about to say is either going to embarrass you forever or make Seokjin so hard he’ll cum in his pants.

“I haven’t been with anyone else since you.” Seokjin slowly nods his head in understanding. “But that doesn’t mean I didn’t use… other things to fuck myself with.”

Fuck. You said it. And Seokjin heard every word—understood every word. You were right. He’s hard as a fucking rock to the point he needed to bite his bottom lip so hard it almost bled to not cum. A bunch of images of when you would play with yourself surfaced in his brain. He would stop watching you in the shadows immediately when he realized he came to secretly see you at a time like that, leaving the area altogether, but that didn’t stop him from jerking off into his pillow when he teleported home.

“A-and…” Seokjin coughs into his hand that’s not currently inside you, slowly moving that hand again too. “What would you think about when you fucked yourself?”

You tilt your head back, enjoying the slow pleasure he’s pressing into your walls right now. “That’s just it. I-it was never big enough to be real.” You open your eyes to look at him. “But I always thought of you.”

He couldn’t take it anymore. He couldn’t take the teasing from you any longer. Seokjin smashes his lips against yours again, and it’s like he’s trying to consume you as he does it. Attacking your tongue, biting your lips, not a single part of your lips or mouth was safe from him. And neither was your pussy.

Seokjin slips in a second finger at the same time he moves his legs in between yours. He’s now fully on top of you, and you feel his rock hard cock through his pants against your thigh.

Fuck you want him to fuck you. Fuck but you really shouldn’t. It’s an ongoing battle in your brain as his fingers fuck you so good, and you feel him hump his clothed cock against your leg.

You remember the first time you ever saw it. How you were scared shitless at thinking he would split you in two, but feeling lucky that he didn’t take you that night. It was just the night after that, and every night after that, that you were practically begging him to take you then.

Feeling him in your hands was a different experience. It was something you could never fit your mouth, but in your hands it felt like you controlled the demon on top of you by the literal balls.

So, while you two were still kissing, Seokjin had you clenching around two long curved fingers, and you snaked your hand in between your sandwiched bodies. You grab ahold of him instantly—since he’s not very hard to find—and swallow his gasp that soon turns into a rumbling moan.

Your only touching him through his lose fitted clothes, but Seokjin is so hard right now he thinks he’ll be cumming like a virgin soon enough. “Fuck, I missed your hand on me. Keep touching me, baby.”

You were going to say a sultry gladly, but then you feel his lips on your neck’s sweet spot again and moaned. You stroke his length with earnest. Wanting him to feel as good as he is making you right now. And your “feeling good” is about to hit its ultimate peak when Seokjin pushes another finger inside of you. Stretching you out and making your eyes roll into the back of your head.

You don’t even realize your hand has stopped stroking but still wrapped around him until you feel him start to fuck your hand. Fucking your juicy pussy at the same pace with his fingers.

“Fuck! Seokjin, I’m gonna cum!”

He continues to bite and kiss at your neck, fingering you relentlessly, and fucking himself into your hand as you ride out your earthquaking—no, shattering orgasm. You honestly have no idea how you’ve been able to satisfy yourself up until now because the orgasm that rips through you has you close to passing out.

Seokjin feels you almost collapse underneath him, and he pushes himself to completion. All he needed to do was feel you cum all over his hand, and grab ahold of your breast one last time to push himself there. Still grinding against your hand until his own orgasm ceases.

He slowly peels your hand off of him, and himself off of you. Gently rolling you both over so you’re right up against each other the whole time. You feel lighter then air. Someone could punch you right now and you wouldn’t be able to feel it. You do feel, however, Seokjin’s arms wrap around your middle again and him lay your head against his chest.

Just before you pass out from utter bliss, you feel him kiss your temple, and whisper against forehead,

“And now we have forever, la mia rosa.”

That’s not completely true, however. Because for Seokjin he always had forever for you. A forever love for you, and an endless loving soul to share with you. One that as soon as you give him the okay now, no matter how long it takes, he will tell you everyday what it truly means to be soulmates with a demon…

That he loves you always and forever.

Part two

238 notes · View notes

sugarwithtea · 2 years

Text

truth or dare || ksj

pairing : seokjin x reader

genre : angst, fluff, ex-best friends to lovers

rating : pg-15

summary : You and Seokjin meet each other again at a college reunion, him igniting the feelings of first love inside you after not meeting him for 4 years after an unexpected seperation. He still doesn't know the reason for it and you have never dared to tell him the truth. Maybe this time, you play the game courageously. Maybe not. Who knows?

word count : 6.3k

warnings : swearing, alcohol consumption, flashback scenes, kissing, miscommunication (i mean, ofc), crying, mentions of body insecurity, first love themes, jin being indecisive as fuck, peer pressure (if you can say it so then), this ain't a warning but his appearance is a bit fancy!! overall - it's seokjin being a hazard for all of us.

author's note : thankyou to the loveliest @gimmethatagustd for requesting this fic with this dialogue prompt <33 love ya jai :) and thanks to my love @highly-functioning-mitochondria for beta-ing it :))

mood : this love (taylor's version) - taylor swift

seokjin's aesthetic/moodboard

sugarwithtea m.list || taglist form (for future fics)

"I still don't really understand what happened between us."

The golden lights casted a beautiful shadow over the main dance floor, elegant and royal. The waiters weaved through the buzzed crowd of elite looking adults, your ex classmates, to be precise, quite skillfully.

Your eyes scanned the crowd to take in the stark differences, if any, in your classmates' appearances. It had been four years since you last met them. You had been in contact with a few of your friends from college, but had lost most of them eventually. Some faces greet you with a friendly smile which you instantly return, while some just dismiss your presence as you do the same.

Taehyung had been keen on bringing you to your college reunion this time, one that happens every two years. You don't know why they hold a reunion every two years. Presumably, you had missed the first party and had then met an absolutely enraged Taehyung as he had failed to spot you at the location it was held at.

So now, here you were, leaning against the bar with a champagne flute in one of your hands and the other nervously twirling your hair. You were not specifically excited or even scared to meet someone, except one person.

Kim Seokjin.

Even the mere thought of his name brings heat straight to your face and you cower behind the glass, taking a sip from it to hide your sudden blush.

You and him went way back to your childhood days. Both of you became friends as you were neighbours and then went on to become classmates in college. He had always been your support system and safe place when you went through the ups and downs of your life, your best friend.

He had also been one more thing.

Your first love.

You were never able to act on your feelings, always too scared to break the friendship or distance yourself from him. You confidently believed that he didn't reciprocate your love, that his love was just platonic, not because he dated other people frequently. No, he rarely did that. The only girlfriend he ever had was one in the last year of highschool, when you weren't classmates yet, just neighbours and friends.

The thing which made you believe that he never loved you, and will never love you, was an incident that took place during your last year.

— 4 years ago —

"Where are we even going, Heejin?"

"To the gym." she delightfully responds as she drags you across the corridors, heading towards the gym.

"What for?" you exasperatedly groan.

Her eyes sparkle with mischief and a slight bit of adoration as she answers.

"Jinyoung is there. The boys are practising for their next match. Might as well catch them in action, yeah?" she winks at you as she pulls you inside the gym, pushing open the doors authoritatively.

Loud laughter greets you as soon as you step inside, followed by incoherent mumbles and yellings of excited boys. All of them fall to deaf ears for you, except for one.

Seokjin's.

The fact that he was the captain of the basketball team had completely slipped your mind. His windshield laugh only allows you to know that he might have made some stupid joke or pun, and is now laughing heartedly at it.

Your lips, who seem to have a mind of their own, form a smile at the sound of his happiness. You can imagine his crinkled eyes, full lips stretched into a proud grin, his handsome face contorted into pure mirth and his shoulders shaking from his joy.

The realisation that you loved him had dawned on you long ago, and the feelings just increased every time you saw him, heard him or thought of him, with an aching feeling inside your heart.

You were not so sure about what he would reciprocate if you opened up your heart to him, but still were hopeful. His actions were the ones of a best friend, but there were some moments where you felt like maybe even he was in this a little too deep, if not as much as you were.

You and Heejin settle behind the door that seperated the lockers from the main court. The laughter soon died and suddenly Jinyoung spoke up.

"Jin, your turn! Truth or dare?"

"Truth."

A series of ooh's followed his choice and both you and Heejin held your breath in excitement for what's to come next.

"Okay so," started a lanky boy who had been leaning against the lockers all the time, with mischief in his eyes.

"Who'd you fuck? Y/N or Hana?" he ended and everyone present in the gym went quiet at the question.

You could hear your heartbeat up in your ears and your eyes were as wide as saucers as you registered Heejin staring at you with the same surprised reaction, while gulping to watch your expressions.

"What the fuck?" Seokjin gasped out as the fog of shock faded slowly from around everyone present there.

All the boys except Jinyoung and Yoongi started the usual series of laughter and noises as their anticipation for Seokjin's answer rose steadily, two of them even having the nerve to clap him on the back in a friendly, nonchalant way. The lanky boy was now grinning from ear to ear as he stood straight, standing as tall as Jin and advanced towards the middle of the group, directly in front of Jin.

"Aww, seems like someone is scared that his best friend will be upset if he disagrees to fuck her." he says in a mocking, high pitched tone while jutting out his bottom lip to mimick a dramatic pout.

Laughter breaks out almost immediately and you try to hide yourself from the girl beside you. These were college boys, immature and insensitive. You could not take their words seriously and let them affect your thoughts.

"Oh, or wait." the same lanky boy, whom now you recognised as Woomin continued, "Don't tell me you are hesitant because you want to have sex with her?"

Silence spreads once again while some of the boys morphed their expression into one of disgust, mumbling shocked profanities under their breath or to each other, inaudible to you, but quite obviously those not in your favour. A string of ‘what?, really?, oh my god seokjin no!' were passed through them which made you want to run away.

Jin stood in shocked poise even when Woomin walked up too close for him to be comfortable, looked him straight in his eyes with a sly smirk as he opened his mouth once again to spew utter nonsense.

"Tell me, Seokjin. Would you fuck Y/N or not?" he asked in an almost whisper.

"I'm not answering a shitty question like that." Jin spoke through gritted teeth while his whole form was on the verge of shuddering.

Woomin stepped back and spread his arms in an authoritative manner, still looking at him in the eyes.

"If you don't then we'll know it's a yes."

Jin's eyes grew as wide as they could while he took a small step back, his whole body language shouting "DEFENSE MODE! DIE OR SURRENDER"

Woomin and the boys doubled down in laughter, him hitting his knee with his hand while one tall guy, taller than Seokin, says,

"Not Y/N Jin. Not her." as he scrunches his nose in disappointment and visible disgust at the thought.

Your heart dropped to your feet when you saw Jin feeling all attacked and hesitant, even considering answering this shitty question to save his pride or erase his cowardness.

He regained his footing as he straightened up, eyes still wide as a toddler's and lips trembling to form an answer.

"I won't."

If you wanted to run away before, now you want to bury yourself right then and there especially when a whole team is having a conversation about you with Heejin not so sneakily trying to glance at you to gauge your reaction.

"Why?" Woomin oh so smugly questions and Seokjin had to stick his chin up, if ever so slightly with hesitation visible as daylight in his form to get himself and his answer approved by his beloved team.

Of course Jin won't fuck his bestfriend, why would he? You think. He might reason it as you being his best friend and your dynamic being platonic, leaving no space for y'all to think about sex with each other but what he says next has tears welling up in your eyes as you try to hold them back from falling.

"I would never fuck someone like her."

You couldn't stop yourself from running away from there while choking on a sob. You didn't care anymore what Heejin thought about your reaction, you wanted to be away from everyone.

You kind of knew that Jin always thought of you platonically but never in a million years would you have thought of him referring to you like this, as if you were some untouchable, unfuckable being who only spewed disgust from others when she went in front of them.

The tears were unstoppable as they dampened your pillow, one that you had stuffed your face in as soon as you reached home and shut the door of your bedroom to save yourself from the prying eyes of your roommate.

You were never confident about your body. You knew you didn't have the model figure but you also didn't regard it dismissively with contempt and disgust. You weren’t fat but you weren't size zero either. Your heart broke when you thought of people regarding you like this for your appearance.

You pinch at the flesh of the slight cellulite forming on your thighs and cry out louder. You knew you were being insensitive with yourself, blaming yourself for a natural cause. But, you never knew why he disregarded you so easily. It could have been your body, it could have been your personality, it could have been you.

Haste and anger lead to the worst decisions ever.

The same happened when you decided to distance yourself from Jin to get over him and to also process your feelings and thoughts about the most childish game you had witnessed.

You stop the waiter to get your fifth glass of champagne as Taehyung rambles on at your side about his latest encounter with Namjoon and Jimin at the Annual Business Conference, both of them working as Regional Managers for two leading companies when Taehyung himself worked as the CEO's personal assistant of a major tech firm. Both of them were unable to attend the reunion and thus Taehyung was giving the details about their whereabouts to you.

You spot Yoongi a second later, striking up a conversation with the DJ of the night, who was doing a lazy job at hyping up the crowd, given the low beat and soft tone of the music he played.

You nonchalantly glide your eyes over the crowd when suddenly Taehyung pauses his ramble causing you to look at him. He donned his boxy grin as his eyes sparkled up with recognition. As you follow his line of sight, you spot your worst nightmare, or maybe your best dream.

Seokjin gracefully strides over to you in his full glory. Wearing a black shirt with a few buttons open at the top, covered by a black blazer, while his shirt was tucked into black slacks which impressively showcased his thighs, he looked like a fucking god. His hair was side parted, one part fell onto his eyes while the other was swept back with the most beautiful mullet. He had let go of a tie and one of his hands was in his pocket while the other held a champagne flute.

Dionysus might have been ashamed of the sight in front of him. Seokjin looked alluring, especially with the alcohol in his hand, he gave a complex to the Greek god himself. His plump, full lips were in a dashing smile as his eyes crinkled at the ends with joy.

As if like a strong gust of wind, all the college days come back to you in a jiffy. You were reminded of the days you both spent sneaking out of your houses to have a walk at the park, the day you both were delighted to know you got in the same college, when you stayed with him at the skating park till nightfall and talked about everything, when you cheered for him from the bleachers during his games, when he comforted you during your first breakup, bringing tubs of your favourite ice cream and watching sappy romance movies with you all night. When you realised you were in love with him, the night of your college fair, everything.

You also remember the days when he tried to talk to you but you merely made an excuse or ran away. You remember how your hangouts and meetings kept on decreasing till they stopped completely. You remember how he still smiled at you whenever you ran into each other and never showcased any annoyance or sourness, you remember it all.

He quickly engulfs Taehyung in a hug as he excitedly shouts his name. You notice how his biceps flex through the blazer as he wraps an arm around Taehyung and quickly pulls your eyes away, gulping down the remainder of your champagne.

You are the next one he will greet, of course. You know he is still a gentleman and that he never stopped considering you as a friend. He lets go of Taehyung and soon speaks.

"Hey man it's been a long time, yeah?"

"Says the man who’s holed up in his office at every opportunity he gets."

"Says the man who works for the CEO but when I ask if he'd like to be CEO, he declines."

"What the fuck does it even mean?"

"CEO you know — C each other."

You could not stop the laughter bubbling in your throat as it came out in a giggle when Taehyung groaned while facepalming himself at Jin's stupid pun.

"Oh my god that was so lame, Jin" he says.

He laughs his legendary laugh as his eyes land on you and not to be dramatic or something, but your breath truly hitches when you see those beautiful orbs stare right into yours. All traces of laughter vanish from his face as a dashing smile takes its place instead.

"Y/N" he breathes out almost in a whisper, while tilting his head a bit so as to truly look at you. He smugly takes your hand in his and leaves a soft kiss on your knuckles as you stare at him in awe, jaw slack due to surprise and a blush creeping up your neck and cheeks at his actions.

"Kim Seokjin at your service, my lady." he says as he bows down gracefully, your hand still in his. You furrow your brows in question at his sudden odd behaviour but still can't stop getting all flustered at it. He notices your state and pulls you in for a hug with the same hand.

The music seemed to have gotten slower and as you crashed against his chest, still in a shock, your senses went into an overdrive. His cologne fills your nose and the hand that finds solace around your waist burns into your skin. Your eyes widen but soon, you relax within his grasp. Trying to calm down your breathing, you cancel out, or try to cancel out your feelings creeping back in your mind. You also try to ignore the erratic beating of his heart, mistaking it as your own.

"Jokes aside, Y/N." he whispers with a laugh and tilts his head down, unconsciously sniffing your hair.

"I've missed you." he mumbles into your hair and you unknowingly wrap your arms around his torso which had been lying limp by your sides.

He missed you.

You realise the meaning of his words, Seokjin has missed you. All this while when you thought that maybe he would have forgotten a girl like you, he says that he never did. But of course again, you guys have always been friends, even though distant after a point. So you try not to overthink his words more and mumble a small 'same' as you detach yourself from him, fighting your heart who wants to stay there forever.

He settles in the space between you and Taehyung and smiles wistfully at the crowd and basically, everything. He looks at you again, with nothing but softness in his eyes.

"It's been so long since we last heard from each other, right?"

"Yeah, it has been."

"I think since graduation?"

Before you can even open your mouth, Taehyung jumps into action.

"What? You both haven't talked since graduation?" his eyes were all owlish and eyebrows knitted in confusion.

"Yes. I tried to find her contacts but was not successful and I asked you once but I guess you forgot? So I didn't pester you more." he says with a light apologetic smile that makes your heart sink.

He had tried to contact you but you hadn't, even though you very much wanted to locate him and run into his arms.

Taehyung reasons his lack of response as his short term memory and thinking he has already replied to the message when in reality, he hasn't and expresses his concerns on technology and it's increasing disadvantages when Seokjin shuts his mouth up and stops the conversation from going further downhill, thanks to him being a Computer Engineer and coming up with advances that made Taehyung go tight lipped at once.

The flow had changed, you were no longer the one they were talking about and you were glad that you were spared from giving a reason for not being communicative with Jin. You try to focus on their conversation but soon zone out when you realise that they are having an argument on who's better, Mario or Luigi.

The moment you are truly pulled back into the conversation is when you felt an arm drape itself around your shoulders and you realised that Jisn was pulling you into him, if only ever so slightly. Your cheeks go pink at his action and you once again hide behind your glass, taking a sip from it casually.

"Taehyung tells me that I am not a crazy Harry Potter fanboy. Y/N, kindly enlighten him." he laughs in his full glory as he brings you a bit forward and looks at Taehyung smugly, as if to tell him he has already lost the debate.

You scoff amusingly at his words and start enthusiastically.

"Oh Tae, you should've seen his bedroom when he was in high school. Completely decorated with Harry Potter posters and a print of the Marauder's Map pinned near his desk. He had almost transformed his bed into the classic four poster gryffindor dorm bed but then thought better."

Taehyung defensively glares at you as Seokjin victoriously smiles at his flustered state.

"But I- umm- I, was right. He is not a fanboy anymore, he is a fanman."

"Oh no." you groan.

"Oh my god that was so lame, Taehyung. Worse than my dad jokes."

"I, for one, second this notion." you say and immediately high five Seokjin as he brings up his hand. He unknowingly flexes his fingers right after he lets go of your touch.

Taehyung whines like a child and stomps his foot.

"Ugh, you guys always gang up against me. I think I'm gonna go find Yoongi." and with that, he leaves the both of you at your own mercy.

Seokjin glances around the whole area and resorts to sipping from his drink as you nervously do the same. You could feel your hands get sweaty and your body on the verge of shivering as you shuddered with the anxiety and awkwardness of being alone with Jin, neither of you speaking a single word. It's as if he sensed your thoughts exactly at that moment and turned to look at you with a lone smile.

"So," he begins,"How have you been?"

"Great, a lil busy but, yeah."

"I sensed you were busy." he chuckles while shaking his head and looking at his feet, your insides aching once more at the sight.

You know why he thinks you were busy. It's because you never sought him out, never tried to find him, never tried to do nothing. Little does he know, it's all you've ever wanted, but the shrivelled up rose in your heart extends its thorns, caging you whole, not allowing you to act on your instincts, but on your overthinking abilities. But now standing face to face, you have to put up a front and answer him.

"Yeah, well. What about you?"

"Same."

And you both fall back into that silence once again. This time though, it's less unnerving, slightly calming, and a lot suspicious. It feels like the calm before a storm. You don't know yet in what way it will greet you, but you can feel it coming in your bones, anxiously twisting your fingers to try and come up with a conversation starter, when Jin eventually breaks the ice, the storm beginning with a heavy downpour.

"To be honest," he says while leaning back against the bar and cocking his head to look at you, still with softness, grace and adoration, no malice.

"I still don't really understand what happened between us."

Your mind shuts down and goes into an overdrive at the same moment. You knew this question was due some time but you had no idea that time would be so soon. Now that the question lingers in the air, you don't know how to reply to him. You can't let your feelings come to the surface so easily and you definitely can't let him know your childish decision, a result of an immature game. The only resort left is nonsensical, but you go for it anyway.

"What?" you laugh inquisitively, feigning confusion. "What are you talking about?" you ask, putting up your best act.

It's like even after all these years, Seokjin can see right through you and your facade. He shakes his head and lets his hands fall down to his side.

"Don't play coy with me now, Y/N. You know what I'm talking about."

Busted.

He looks at you expectantly, as if you were going to give him the whole world, which you wish to, but can't. You can't come up with any reasons for your departure from his life. You know he had tried to get you back, but it was you, it had always been you.

"I think we just weren't that good of friends."

He laughs mirthlessly, still not discarding his softness though.

"We were the best."

You indeed were, but these hands of yours had to let him go free or else you would have fallen in a ditch so deep, the hands you held then would have been of no help. He had left a permanent mark on you, glowing in the dark were his words and your memories with him. You were that good with him.

"I had to watch you leave." he says, pausing your thoughts. "Watch you leave me."

He laughs again, but sadly.

A bubble of anger starts rising in your stomach at his statement. He had to watch you leave but shouldn't he have been happy that you left? You mean, you were always the weird one and he is better off without someone like you.

"You were better without someone like me anyways." you mutter the words under your breath, a little too loud though, scared of what might happen if he hears them but still eager to let him hear them.

"What?"

"Nothing, Jin. Why are we talking about things which happened so long ago?" you laugh it away.

"Because they matter to me." he stands straight now, towering over you handsomely. Exerting a sense of dominance, but softly.

"I don't want to discuss the past right now."

"No. What did you mean by someone like you?"

You groan like a kid.

"Someone like me." you vaguely gesture towards yourself, doing a once over with your hands.

"Huh? Why do you say it as if it's a bad thing to be like you?" he is utterly confused which only confuses you more. Wasn't he the one who had found problems in you? Why is he acting so vague then?

"You tell me."

"Can you stop beating around the bush?" He runs a hand through his hair in utter exasperation and lets it fall limp at his side in a tightly clenched fist.

"Leave it." you say a little too loud so that a few heads turn in your direction.

Seokjin gently takes your wrist in his hand and directs you towards the empty hallway leading towards the exit. He stands in front of you as your back faces the wall, a mere inches away from it, but you stand confidently and he never tries to overpower you.

"I just can't leave it." he gulps and if you didn't know better you'd say he looked nervous.

"Tell me, Y/N. What happened?"

The memory of that day still stings you painfully. It's not in your best interests to recall it, especially in front of the person who stars in it. You close your eyes and laugh mirthlessly. It's an irony that he has to be the one to ask this question and not the other way around. So, you dare to say the truth after all.

"Oh I'm sorry. I meant to say 'someone like her'" you make air quotes around and open your eyes just in time to catch his face, drained of all colour and eyes as wide as possible.

His lower lip quivers and he takes a step back in mock defence, the stance taking you back to the day when he was asked the dreadful question, poised similarly, in shock and ever ready to defence. It's just a second's difference then, that you find his eyes have glossed slightly, and he tries to not catch your eye.

"You- you, I- how do you know that?"

"I was there, Seokjin."

"What?"

You smirk mockingly and look up at him. His eyes are blown out as you stare at him, holding your gaze for a long time before breaking a little.

"Me and Heejin, we were in the gym that day."

You render him speechless, thus continuing with your revelation.

"She wanted to sneak up on Jiyoung, when we - " you gulp and look away from him.

"When we caught up on your little game and it was your turn."

"And you-"

"I did. I heard your answer."

Your heart is already racing at a million miles an hour and the speed threatens to increase itself when you look at him. He is on the verge of tears, truly shaking. Embarrassment flows through him as he refuses to meet your eyes. You feel your heart break and you almost extend your hand to him, to hold him.

"I, I am sorry, Y/N." he finally steadies himself and reciprocates your gaze. "I didn't mean it."

"You mean, you wanted to fuck me?"

"That was a shitty question which I didn't want to answer, but was compelled to."

You notice how he doesn't deny your assumption but you keep it to yourself, after all, it's time you know the truth behind the words he had dared to speak out loud.

"So, you said the truth, right?"

"Why would I think of you with contempt, Y/N?" he fists his hair and pleads to you with his eyes.

"I don't know, you tell me."

He takes a deep breath and sombers up his expression, still showcasing guilt and embarrassment.

"I was a young, immature, frat boy, then. You know how it works. The boys in my team considered themselves to have a certain standard that everyone had to match. I needed them to be in my favour, I was the captain. So I panicked when Woomin asked the question and replied what would have been in their best interests."

"In their best interests? What do you mean?"

You hold your breath for what's to come next as you can visibly see Seokjin tremble in front of you, contemplating giving you the answer or against it.

"Seokjin." you whisper slowly, and nod your head.

He exhales shakily and takes one of your hands in his. He starts speaking while looking down at your hands and rubbing circles on the back of it, soothingly.

"They didn't like you. Always ridiculed me for being friends with you. I ignored them most of the time as my attempts to change their thoughts had failed, miserably. That day," he sniffs and you look up to see a lone tear threatening to fall out of his eyes and mark his sadness, "I tried to dismiss them at first. But when I had no other option left, I had to say what I thought they would agree with."

You unconsciously grip his hand tighter at that and he looks up at you.

"That was the stupidest, shittiest move I had ever made and I still regret it. But you know they say, college is the place where your minds are the most indecisive. Mine was. And I came under the decisions of my peers. I am sorry."

You don't even know how to react to him, or how to conceive his words peacefully. The fog was clearing out each passing second but he still stood amongst its core, trying to shout for you, waving his hands around to lessen the mist. You open your mouth and close it again, wordlessly. Gulping audibly, you still don't retrieve your hand from his.

"You could've said anything else."

"I know." he squeezes your hand.

He doesn't say sorry once again, as he knows it's pointless. He now takes your other hand in his free hand.

"Y/N, please understand. I would never, even in my wildest dreams, have thought those things about you. Never."

You laugh and look at him now shedding tears. He was crying and you had not broken yet. You mindlessly free one of your hands from his grip and bring it up to his cheek, wiping away the stray tear. You realise your action and go to take your hand back when he keeps his palm over yours, holding your hand right there.

You stare at him wide eyed as he softly leans into your touch, relaxing at it. His eyes are pleading with you, asking you to understand him. He was driven by peer pressure. You could see the disgust written all over his teammates face at your mention, then. Of course, you had forgiven him a long time ago, when you were no longer an immature college student. But watching him plead for forgiveness so earnestly stirs your heart.

"Jinnie," his face lights up at the nickname you've called him by since your childhood,"I get it. It was childish of me for running away from you due to this reason, I am sorry. I, I just couldn't face you after knowing you thought of me with such contempt. It was," you look away and stare at the thin glitter lining on his suit, mumbling your next words almost quietly,"heartbreaking."

"Y/N, look at me."

You look at him and your world shifts. He is staring at you with tears, adoration, love and a fading loneliness. Your past swims in them and they crinkle to form his handsome smile when he looks down at you.

"Keep your heart breakable, but never by the same hand twice. I don't want to be the same hand again. I promise, I will never break your heart."

You smile at his words and rub your thumb over his cheek.

"I won't break your heart either, ever."

These words felt so intimate, you didn't know what he was thinking of. Your words were the result of your evergreen love for him, his words, maybe not?

"I tried to get you back, but failed."

Ah, yes. The time you avoided him like the plague.

"I was scared of many things, to be honest. Almost all of them were me and my mind thinking the worst case scenario and dwelling over it. I needed to be away from you. It has helped me, broke me, healed me, but with scars."

His eyebrows form a crease.

"I don't understand."his voice breaks.

"I - " you shake your head and close your mouth. You can't tell him that you love him. If you do so, this time he'll be the one to run away.

He lifts your chin up delicately. He was crying. Not in the way that only some tears marked his beautiful face, but in a way that made it hard for him to breathe. He leans his forehead against yours and closes his eyes, letting the tears fall down steadily and you immediately intertwine your fingers with his.

"I was a mess when you stopped smiling at me. I was a mess when you stopped talking to me. After college I tried again, but was never able to reach out to you." He laughs,"I guess, I was scared too. Scared of you not acknowledging me once again and me going into the wallowing state. Though, I never left it. Maybe because I know that I still, I," he pauses and gulps audibly.

"I love you, Y/N."

What the actual fuck?

He loves you? The man you have loved your whole life loves you? Your jaw drops to the floor and you search his eyes for some kind of joke but all that stares back at you is love. He closes them and that's when you realise he might be waiting for some kind of reaction from you.

"Wha- you- how…you love me?"

"Always have."

He renders you speechless, all you could do is stare at him wide eyed. His confession stirred your insides to an extent that it was hard for you to stand up straight, or process the happenings around you.

"I loved you but didn't want anyone to know about it, as i was scared. That you'd run away from me, that I'll lose you. Well, for my bad luck, it did happen eventually." he chuckles sadly and continues.

"But I can't afford to lose you again."

Your face lights up with joy and contentment at his words and you finally let out a sigh of relief. Atlast, your question of years has been answered. The fog has cleared and you see yourself standing with him, position same as that of now, except none of you are crying. You know it's finally the time you let out the words you've been meaning to tell him since years.

"I love you too, Jin." you mumble so quietly he might have almost missed it if not for his attentive listening when it comes to you.

"You, you do?" He looks so happy and expectant.

"It was the main reason why I had to go away from you, to get over you."

"Oh my god, we were idiots."

He pulls you flush against his chest and hugs you tightly while kissing the top of your head.

"Not anymore though." you mumble into his chest and you swear you could hear, rather than see his smile. Pulling away from him, for a second only, you wrap your hands around his neck and stand on your tiptoes, your lips hovering over his.

"Kiss me, Y/N. Please."

And you press your lips to his.

He takes no time in kissing you back, moving his lips against yours slowly as you sigh into the kiss. Sparks fly around you and you melt into him immediately. His lips are soft, just as you had dreamt of so many times. And they taste sweet, just like you had expected them to. Your senses go into an overdrive and you start moving your jaw against his with increased vigour. He senses it almost immediately and presses himself to you as your back hits the wall. His tongue glides across your bottom lip and you give him access to your mouth, tasting his mouth for the first time, ferevering the sweet taste and —

"I always knew you both would end up together. Oh my god."

You both break away from the kiss and snap your heads towards the source of the voice at the same time.

Taehyung was standing there with a hand grasped over his heart, to feign adoration and surprise. You can feel a shy smile creeping up on your lips as you look away from him.

"Go away, Tae." Seokjin grumbles at him playfully.

"Oh yeah, sorry. Carry on, lovebirds." he giggles like a schoolgirl and disappears as quickly as he had appeared.

You and Seokjin look at each other for a hot second after his departure before breaking into laughter. You clutch at his biceps and he holds your waist as you both keep on laughing heartily. None of you know why you are laughing. Maybe it was because of the encounter with Taehyung, maybe it was because of the irony at how things had turned out, or maybe it was because you both were finally so happy you couldn't control it.

Happy tears well up in your eyes and your chest and stomach start aching by the intensity of your joy.

"My lungs are aching, oh god. I need to stop laughing." You say, while laughing.

"Well I think then we truly do be-lung with each other."

And, you laugh again. This time it goes on and on while you look at each other, full of love, adoration, respect and promises.

After all, you both had dared to tell the truth and are now revelling in its bliss.

taglist : @nuniah @kittykooyoongi @highly-functioning-mitochondria @jeonkookiesworld @haliiimede @jjkeverlast @aliimac (if the tag doesn't work then please note that I wasn't able to tag you)

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sweetestofchaos · 2 years

Text

BTS’ Scenario to...𝑆𝑒𝑒𝑖𝑛𝑔 𝑡ℎ𝑒𝑖𝑟 𝑒𝑥 𝑤𝑖𝑡ℎ 𝑎 𝑐ℎ𝑖𝑙𝑑

𝔹𝕒𝕔𝕜𝕤𝕥𝕠𝕣𝕪: 𝖳𝗁𝖾𝗒 𝖻𝗋𝗈𝗄𝖾 𝗎𝗉 𝗐𝗂𝗍𝗁 𝗒𝗈𝗎 𝖿𝗂𝗏𝖾 𝗒𝖾𝖺𝗋𝗌 𝖺𝗀𝗈 𝖺𝗇𝖽 𝗋𝗎𝗇 𝗂𝗇𝗍𝗈 𝗒𝗈𝗎 𝗐𝗂𝗍𝗁 𝗒𝗈𝗎𝗋 𝖼𝗁𝗂𝗅𝖽/𝗋𝖾𝗇. (⇟ 𝐇𝐲𝐮𝐧𝐠 𝐋𝐢𝐧𝐞 ⇟)

𝙼𝚊𝚔𝚗𝚊𝚎 𝙻𝚒𝚗𝚎

Seokjin

Seokjin was doing his own thing now that he was taking a break. The sun was starting to set, and he was in the mood for something sweet, so he threw on a fresh set of clothes and walked outside. Hailing a cab, Seokjin went into town to one of his favorite places to grab a sweet treat. He paid the taxi driver and made sure his mask was on properly before he got out and went inside of the little café. Thankfully it was empty, only a handful of people in line before him, so Seokjin waited in line. He focused on his phone, playing a game to pass the time until he felt someone tug on his pant leg. Looking away from his phone, Seokjin glanced down and there were two little boys, no longer than three smiling up at him.

“Tall!”

“Supa tall!”

Seokjin laughed and squatted down in front of the boys, sliding his phone into his back pocket. “I am very tall huh?” Seokjin smiled behind his mask as the two boys giggled. “Where is your Eomma?” Seokjin questioned finding it weird that the two toddlers were alone.

The toddlers looked at each other and frowned before they focused on Seokjin. “Eomma is busy.”

“Mommy no play!”

Seokjin looked around the café and stood up, “Come on, let’s get you a treat and then back to your Eomma.” He grabbed both boy’s hands and walked up to the counter.

“Hello! Welcome to-” The woman behind the counter turned around and the smile on her face dropped at the sight of the two boys holding a stranger’s hand. “Alexzander and Nathaniel, get your butts away from that man now!” The woman’s voice was firm as she scolded the toddlers and Seokjin’s eyes widened when he realized that she was their eomma.

The toddlers pulled their hands free from Seokjin and hurried behind the counter with frowns on their faces. Seokjin stared at the woman taking in her dark eyes, thick lips, and brown skin. Her face had a little weight to it, but Seokjin was sure it was her, he would bet his life on it. “Y-Y/N?” Seokjin spoke the woman’s name and when she looked at him confused, “It’s me, Seokjin...Um, J-Jinnie!” Seokjin pulled his mask down to show his face and the woman’s eyes widened.

The last thing you ever expected was to take your break only to sit with your ex and introduce him to your twins, Alex, and Nate. You were impressed by how well Seokjin juggled talking to both, most people were easily flustered by the young duo. It was nice to see Seokjin getting along with them, the large smile on his face silently telling you that he was enjoying himself. Seokjin made them laugh as he broke a churro stick and shoved the pieces underneath his upper lip acting like they were tusks. Alex giggled while Nate tried to copy Seokjin, making you laugh.

Your break was coming to its end, and you felt bad having to hide the boys in the back to keep them out of trouble, but you didn’t have a choice. You usually don’t bring your children to work with you, but your babysitter quit, and it was hard to find a new one. A sudden rush of customers flooded the café, and a coworker called your name for help. Seokjin saw your internal struggle and waved you off while he slipped his mask back onto his face.

“Get back to work. I’ll watch the boys…D-do you mind if I take them to the park?”

Even after all this time apart, you still trusted Seokjin. He was a good guy, and you knew he wouldn’t hurt your children, plus with the amount of people coming in, you feared that someone would recognize him, and you didn’t want to risk that with your children around. You took Seokjin up on his offer and quickly typed your number into his phone in case he needed you and showed him to the back exit.

“Say bye-bye to Eomma. We’re gonna go have fun at the park and eat a bunch of ice cream!”

You wanted to shout in protest but hearing the happy chants from both Nate and Alex, you just shook your head with a smile and watched as Seokjin skipped with them down the street.

Yoongi

Yoongi was running out of food in his apartment, and he had a craving for stir fried beef. Not wanting to order out, Yoongi grabbed his car keys and made the trip to the market closest to him. He made sure he had everything, his wallet, phone, keys, and face mask before he stepped out of the car and walked down the street to enter the farmer’s market. Yoongi loved the freshness of the fruits and vegetables that were sold here, and the meat was yummy too. Keeping to himself, Yoongi stopped by a few stalls and spoke with the venders, paying for a few items that he put away in a reusable bag on his arm.

As he walked, Yoongi spotted a small child, no older than three, trying to reach for a tangerine while her mother was talking to the vender. Smiling, Yoongi walked over and grabbed two tangerines before he squatted down in front of the little girl. Pulling his mask down, Yoongi smiled as the little girl’s large eyes sparkled brightly in the sunlight as she watched him peel one of the tangerines. The braids on her head were decorated with rainbow-colored beads and Yoongi couldn’t help but think the girl seemed to resemble someone he knew. Holding out the peeled fruit, Yoongi offers the tangerine to the little and she quickly taps on her mother’s leg to get her attention.

Yoongi’s ears turn red when the woman turns around and looks at Yoongi through her sunglasses, her eyebrows raising over the frame. Yoongi rubs the back of his neck as he stares up at the woman, “Sorry, she was trying to get one.” Yoongi smiles softly as the little girl takes the tangerine from his hand with a gentle push from her mother. “I-I’ll pay for it,” Yoongi mutters as he stands up and digs in his back pocket for his wallet.

“Don’t worry about it…Min Yoongi.” Yoongi’s head snaps up from looking in his wallet and he stares at the woman with large eyes while she just smiles. She pays the vender for the fruit and once done, she turns her attention to Yoongi. She laughs at Yoongi’s worried and confused face, “Sorry, let me take my glasses off.” The woman removes her sunglass and tosses them into her purse and Yoongi’s breathe leaves his lungs. He blinks a few times, and the woman smiles as the little girl asks to be picked up.

Yoongi watches as the woman picks the little girl up and the woman motions for Yoongi to follow her. Yoongi shoves his wallet into his pocket and walks a little faster to catch up to the woman, “Y/N?”

“Hi, Yoongi.”

He couldn’t believe it; his ex is standing in front of him looking better than ever and she…has a daughter. The little girl looks just like her mother, and it makes Yoongi smile, “She looks just like you.”

Yoongi and Y/N walked around with Tia between them, catching up while shopping. Y/N’s arms were slowly filling up with bags and when Tia asked to be picked up, Yoongi scooped the little girl into his arms without a second thought. He had offered to carry a few of Y/N’s bags, but she declined since Yoongi was already carrying Tia.

“I’m happy that life has been good to you, Y/N. Tia is a sweet little girl.”

“Yeah? That’s ‘cause you gave her that tangerine. It’s her favorite fruit.”

Yoongi laughed and noticed that they were heading towards the exit of the market. “Where are you parked? I’ll walk you.”

“We walked,” Y/N explained. “We don’t live that far away.”

Yoongi shook his head, “You can’t carry all these bags and Tai on your own. I’m sure your husband-”

“I’m not married,” Y/N admitted quietly, and Yoongi licked his lips.

“Let me walk you home, please? I would feel better knowing that you both got home safely.”

Namjoon

Just another day of Namjooning, enjoying the great outdoors and nature. That was how Namjoon thought his day was going to be, but he was wrong. The moment he got the park, he should have felt that something was off. The clouds in the sky were white and fluff but the air was cool and heavy. Namjoon shrugged it off and started his bike ride through the park, his earbuds playing whatever playlist he picked at random. In his own little world Namjoon failed to notice the baseball hurtling his way.

“Look out!” Someone shouted, but Namjoon didn’t hear. The baseball slammed into his back wheel, the sudden impact making Namjoon lose his balance and crash right into a trash can. “Oh!”

Namjoon groaned in pain, his banged up his leg, but other than that he was fine. The palm of his hands were scraped since he tried to break his fall, but thankfully that was the worst of it. The sound of footsteps running towards him caught Namjoon’s attention and when he looked up his breath caught in his throat. There standing in front of him was, Y/N, the woman who broke his heart a few years ago. She stared at Namjoon with wide eyes, the disbelief on her face, clear as day.

“Hey, Mister! Are you, okay?”

Namjoon visible startled at the new voice and he focused on the scene in front of him. A little boy around the age of six stood beside Y/N with a guilty frown on his face and when Namjoon looked again, he noticed that Y/N had a baby wrapped on her back.

“Mister?” The little boy’s frown deepens at Namjoon’s lack of attention and Y/N takes a step forward offering Namjoon her hand.

Shaking his head, Namjoon declines Y/N’s help and stands up. “I’m okay, kid…” Namjoon turns his attention to the baby peaking at Namjoon from over Y/N’s shoulder and he raises an eyebrow. “Thought you didn’t want-”

“They are my sister’s.” Y/N cuts Namjoon’s words off and places a hand on the little boy’s head. “This is Darnel and the little one behind me is Sasha.” Y/N smiles down at Darnel and gives him a light push forward, “Say, hi, Nel. This is one of my friends.”

Namjoon squats down to Darnel’s height and holds out his hand, “Hi, Darnel. I’m Namjoon…was that your baseball that hit me?”

Darnel shakes Namjoon’s hand and nods his head shyly, “Sorry mister Namjoon.”

Namjoon smiles and stands up. He grabs his bike and the baseball, “Do you want to play catch? I don’t think your aunt is very good.”

Darnel’s eyes light up at Namjoon’s eyes and he nods his head excitedly, “Really? You’ll play with me? This is gonna be so fun!” Darnel runs off back towards where Y/N had a blanket set up with snacks to grab his baseball glove.

Namjoon starts to walk beside Y/N with is bike, “How long do you have the kids?” Namjoon questions and Y/N bites her lip making Namjoon wonder if there’s more to the story.

“I-I have custody of them.”

Namjoon stops walking at Y/N’s words, “What?”

Y/N sighs and pushes her braids out her face, “My sister had her priorities backwards, so, now I have them.” Namjoon hums at Y/N’s words and Y/N sighs, “I’m sorry, Joon.”

Namjoon shakes his head and continues to walk up the small hill. “You should have to apologize for doing the right thing. I’m sorry if I made you feel that way.” Namjoon offers Y/N a smile and reaches out to stock Sasha’s cheek making the baby giggle happily. “How old is she?”

“Six months. Sash will be seven months on the twelfth.”

“Wait.” Namjoon glances at Sasha and Y/N laughs. “She’s a bora baby?”

“Yes, Joonie. Sasha is bora baby. She was born June twelfth.”

Namjoon smiles, his dimples of full display and rubs the back of his neck, “M-maybe I can help you with the kids, you know since you’re back in Korea?”

Hoseok

Hoseok was on his way to lunch when he got stuck at a red light. He sighed and rested his elbow on the window before he glanced at the crosswalk. There were a few people waiting for the sign to change and his foot nearly slipped off the break when he saw a familiar face in the crowd holding a small child in her arms. Blinking, Hoseok watched as his ex-girlfriend walked across the street with a little boy in her arms. She looked happy. The smile on her face was bright, but Hoseok could tell that something was off. Deciding that Y/N was more important, Hoseok quickly flicked on his turn signal and kept his eyes on her. He didn’t want to lose track of her. The light turned green, and Hoseok turned, quickly pulling up alongside of Y/N. He put the car into park and quickly exited the vehicle, nearly choking himself since he was still buckled in.

Stumbling out of the car, Hoseok looked around to find Y/N and he smiled when he saw the little boy’s twists bouncing around in the crowd. Hoseok jogged through the crowd, and he called Y/N’s name twice before the little boy smiled and waved at Hoseok. Y/N stopped walking and turned around with a confused frown on her face. The moment she saw Hoseok, she tightened her grip on her son.

“Y/N!” Hoseok jogged up to her a little out of breath and Y/N stared at him.

“Hoseok?” She looked around and noticed that a few people were watching them. It made her tuck her son’s head into her neck. “You’re not wearing a mask.” She pointed out and Hoseok’s eyes widened.

“Shit! S-sorry…can we talk?” Hoseok jabbed his thumb behind him, and Y/N saw a car parked on the street a few feet away. Y/N sighed but nodded her head and followed Hoseok back to his car. Hoseok opened the passenger side door for Y/N and she slide, moving her son to sit in her lap. Hoseok walked around the car and jumped in the front seat. He tuned slightly in his seat and smiled, “You look great! How have you been? Is this your son?”

Y/N smoothed down her son’s braids as he smiled at Hoseok and reached out for him. “I’ve been okay, Hobi…” Y/N carefully handed her son to Hoseok, and she could see his eyes turn into hearts. “Justin just had his second birthday a week ago. We’re on our way to get something to eat before we go to the water zoo.”

“Ooooh, lil man is two? Sorry I missed his birthday, I didn’t know.” Hoseok widened his eyes at Justin. “Can I treat you both to lunch? I would love to catch up with you and get to know Justin-” Hoseok cut himself off and sighed. “Sorry, I’m being rude. I don’t want to put you in an awkward position with your hus-”

“It’s just the two of us and we wouldn’t mind having lunch with you. Isn’t that right Just? Wanna eat with Uncle Hobi?”

Justin clapped his hands and wrapped his little arms around Hoseok’s neck, “Uncle Hobi! Yay!”

Y/N frowned as she realized something, “You don’t have a car seat.”

Hoseok waved her off, “There’s a shop on this street that sell that type of stuff. I’ll get one and then we can be on our way.”

Y/N started to protest, but Hoseok had already put a mask on his face and changed his hat. He opened his car door and slide out with Justin held tightly in his arms. Y/N sighed and got out of the car before he was left behind. Hoseok and she walked to the store and Hoseok insisted on paying for the car seat since he was the one that needed it.

“I meant to ask, what’s a water zoo?”

Y/N laughed. “Justin can’t say aquarium, so he calls it the water zoo.”

“Wah!” Hoseok stared at Justin in total amazement. Kids are so freaking smart.

#soc bts #bts fluff #bts angst #kpop ambw #exes to lovers #bts hoseok #bts seokjin #bts namjoon #bts yoongi #bts scenarios #bts x black reader #black!reader #daddy!bts #exqueuese me

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seokjins-luigi · 1 year

Text

simple thing | part one | ksj

・summary: seven years ago, you left seokjin to pursue your dreams abroad. you promised to come back to him, but your pride prevented you from doing so. now, he resents you and all you have left is regret.

・release date: jan 8 - 6 pm (GMT-3)

・A/N: there it is :) i'm really excited to tell this story! as always, you feedback is highly appreciated!

・word count: 6.081

・banner: made by the amazing @gfxstdio

・permanent taglist: @goldenhoney-cas @yuugehn

・series taglist: @bri-mal @firesighgirl

“Oh, ______, imagine when it’s your turn”, you heard the dreamy tone in your best friend’s voice and almost laughed.

“I think you should open yourself up to the possibility of never being my maid of honor, because it’s extremely unlikely that I’ll ever get married”, you answered as you stared at your own reflection in the mirror, pleased with the adjustments made on your gown for the upcoming event. “Deep down, you know that”.

“Well, it’s not like you have no options, bitch. You just don’t allow anyone in your life ever since you came back”, Haewon counters, her voice coming from behind you, but you know her eyes are also on your gown. “Aw, you look so beautiful in it, _____. I promised myself I wouldn’t cry, but-”.

Her voice cracks and you turn around only to find your best friend with her face buried in her hands, obviously breaking the promise she’d made to herself. You understand where this is coming from and can’t help yourself when you feel your own eyes welling up as you wrap your mind around what’s really happening here.

Haewon is finally getting married to the love of her life. You already knew that, of course, but seeing yourself in the dress you’d wear on your best friend’s wedding, a day the two of you had dreamed about for so long, with all the adjustments and fittings done filled your heart with so much love, so much selfless happiness.

“You’re such a fucking softie! Come here…” You manage to say with an unstable voice, as you wrapped your arms around your lifelong best friend. “I’m so happy for you, Haewon-ah!”

“Ugh, I’m so fucking happy I can’t even put into words. But I’m also so nervous at the same time”, she sniffs, wiping the tears away from her eyes delicately so she wouldn’t smudge her mascara. “Like, intrusive thoughts keep getting in the way, what if Yoongi simply says ‘no’?”

“Ha! As if!” You let out a sincere laugh, smiling softly at her as you continue. “This is the most stupid thing I’ve ever heard you say”.

“Aren’t you gonna reassure me saying that Yoongi loves me more than anything or something?” She asks in a wobbly voice.

Which is funny, because in front of you stands one of the most confident women you know. You guess being a bride does mess with your brain.

“Do I really have to?”

“Not really”, she answers shyly, as if coming to the most obvious conclusion ever. She continues, trying to get off this specific subject. “And you… Especially in this dress, will definitely get yourself a hookup and live the drama of your dreams at your best friend’s wedding, have you thought of that? I think Kitae is single, by the way”.

“My god… You were crying two seconds ago thinking about the possibility of Yoongi leaving you, now you’re telling me about Hwang Kitae’s love life status… What happens inside this brain of yours, Haewon-ah?!” You poke her head playfully with your pointer finger. “Can’t I just look forward to enjoying the party or something? I can get a hookup any other time of the year”, you reply, automatically rolling your eyes at her.

She bursts out laughing, knowing very well it would annoy the shit out of you. She simply doesn’t understand that you have priorities in life and getting laid was not number one on that list. Not that you don’t want to get laid or flirt with hot guys, of course you do. But you have so many responsibilities at the university, not only are you a new professor, but as the Department Chair of the Paleontological faculty of one the top universities in Seoul. You’ve been invited back to your country to take up the position and you couldn’t be more honored with the invitation, you didn't even second guess your choice to leave the lab you had been working in China. The endless hours you’ve spent in libraries studying your ass off, at the lab or out at fieldwork were worth it and you finally got the job of your dreams.

Since you returned to South Korea relatively recently, it’s harder to get your social life back on track. And it’s not like the piles of paperwork you need to do every week will just work themselves, so you don’t have much time to spend flirting.

And it’s fine, you love what you do.

“Well… You know he’s gonna be there”, Haewon suggests with a suspicious wiggle of her eyebrows.

“Yeah, I know, Haewon-ah!” You stare at her for one second, then continue, a little too short on your patience than you’d care to admit. “Can’t you just leave my love life alone for a holy second?”

“I’m just saying, love. Don’t be mad at me”, she raises her hands, in sign of peace and you sigh. “I just feel like it’s good to emphasize that you’ll be seeing Seokjin in a couple of days. It can get awkward or uncomfortable, or make you feel bad, I just want you to prepare yourself mentally to go through it with beauty and grace, at least”.

Kim Seokjin is a touchy subject for you. A touchy subject you preferred to avoid for the past two years of your life, but, unfortunately, you wouldn’t be able to postpone this for much longer.

The mere image of Seokjin on your brain was enough to stir your insides up. Thinking about seeing him again makes you want to run away from Korea once more, leaving everything behind, just like you did 7 years ago. If it wasn’t Haewon’s wedding, you might as well have just done that.

But some things are better dealt with when faced with spontaneity and this is the plan you mean to follow when facing him after 7 years apart. The plan is: you will see.

“Yeah, I know”, you turn your gaze towards the mirror once again, taking in how good you look in the gown. At least, when you meet him again, you’ll look gorgeous. “It’ll be fine. Care to help me with this zipper?”

Something you couldn’t mention to Haewon was the fact that being a maid of honor was stressful as hell, but you could vent out about it to Hoseok, your other best friend. You did that pretty frequently, you might add.

That’s what friends are for, right?

“I swear to god, Hoseok!” Laying on your bed, you avow in a dramatic, but honest tone. “Chaewon is gonna try to start some drama on the wedding day, I know that devil pretty well. And honestly, I don’t know what to do to prevent it”.

“Can’t we just uninvite her?” He asks, laughing on the other end.

“I’d love to, but Haewon wants to give her a chance”, you stare calmly at your ceiling as you speak to your friend. “Yoongi told me that I shouldn’t allow her to give a speech, quoting: ‘under no circumstances’”, you try to make an impression of his raspy, low voice. “I wouldn’t let her touch the mic anyways, but having the groom to back me up makes everything easier”.

“Yah, _____, you shouldn’t worry so much! We’re all gonna be there to help you manage that dragon”, he answers you, giggling softly after calling the bride’s half sister a dragon. “And about that, when I say “we’re all gonna be there”, I mean, all of us. Including Seokj-”

“I know that, Hoseok”, you cut him short. “You guys really don’t have to bring him up every time we speak to each other, ok?”

“Ok… Sorry”, he replies tonelessly. “I just felt like I could point it out, since we’re all staying at the same hotel. But, anyways, go get some sleep, it’s pretty late”.

That’s the best thing about being best friends with an Aquarius sun, they will respect your boundaries no matter how wrong they think you are. You know he, just like Haewon, thinks you should face the problem, but he knows you are a grown ass woman and he just doesn’t even try to press the matter. He just leaves you be.

You check the time on your phone and he’s right. It’s 12:12 am and, unfortunately, your work at the university has turned you into an early riser.

“You too, Seok Seok, make sure to get some rest after lending your ear to my stressed self. Good night”, trying to soften your voice, feeling a faint pang of guilt on your chest for being rude to him.

“Night, sweetums”.

You hang up and throw your phone somewhere on your bed, rolling away from it to try to clear your mind. Could Haewon and Hoseok be right about Seokjin?

Like, do you need to prepare yourself before meeting him again after so long? But then again, how could you even begin to prepare yourself for something like that?

It wasn’t like you didn’t have to see his face every so often on your tv. You did. In fact, he’s the reason you haven’t kept up with the drama releases in the past few years, since he’s been the lead on so many. Yes, you know you’re the one who left, but it didn’t mean you left because you had no feelings for him, you were just scared. You’re human, after all, you’re allowed to regret.

But life finds a way and so do you. You fall asleep not long after reaching that conclusion, but tonight, you couldn’t avoid seeing Seokjin in your dreams.

That’s what friends are for, right?

“Can’t we just uninvite her?” He asks, laughing on the other end.

“I know that, Hoseok”, you cut him short. “You guys really don’t have to bring him up every time we speak to each other, ok?”

“Ok… Sorry”, he replies tonelessly. “I just felt like I could point it out, since we’re all staying at the same hotel. But, anyways, go get some sleep, it’s pretty late”.

You check the time on your phone and he’s right. It’s 12:12 am and, unfortunately, your work at the university has turned you into an early riser.

“Night, sweetums”.

You hang up and throw your phone somewhere on your bed, rolling away from it to try to clear your mind. Could Haewon and Hoseok be right about Seokjin?

Like, do you need to prepare yourself before meeting him again after so long? But then again, how could you even begin to prepare yourself for something like that?

But life finds a way and so do you. You fall asleep not long after reaching that conclusion, but tonight, you couldn’t avoid seeing Seokjin in your dreams.

As the day of the big event approached, you started packing slowly, since you hated packing for trips. You were in no position to complain, since Yoongi basically rented the whole hotel for the wedding guests. Like, it’s not a mediocre kind of hotel, it’s one of the best hotels in Daegu. He insisted on hosting the wedding in his home city and Haewon didn’t oppose to it, since she is from the capital and they live there already.

Hoseok went to Daegu before you, by plane. You preferred to take a car trip, since it wasn’t such a long journey from Seoul to Daegu. You do love driving, so it’s a good chance to take some time and do something you love for a change. Plus, you think it’s good to have your own car with you while you’re there, because if you need to rush with any last minute details for the wedding, you wouldn’t have to depend on anything other than yourself.

When you remember your best friend is about to marry one of the most famous rappers from Korea, you always smile. Like, everything turned out the way it was supposed to be. She was a big lawyer, he was a big artist. Hoseok, also known as J-Hope was the one who introduced them, since Yoongi and him were under the same label. You were away for years, doing what you have always dreamed to do.Namjoon, a friend you don’t get to see as often, because he’s always super busy, became a very relevant art curator known worldwide for his work. Seokjin became Korea's favorite heartthrob.

Things changed a lot since you were all young and in high school making all those plans. It took you a few hours, but with these thoughts keeping you company, the car trip to Yoongi’s hometown went flying.

The hotel your friend’s fiance booked for his guests couldn’t be more opulent, you were in awe the moment you first laid your eyes on its front. Tall gray walls rose against the Daegu sky, with several glossy windows reflecting the city lights. On the top floor, you can see a gigantic swimming pool that would be delightfully pleasant for you on these hot summer days.

After parking your car in the hotel facilities, you checked yourself in and rushed to your room. Laying in your bed’s comfortable white sheets, ordering something nice from the hotel’s restaurant and having the night to relax. You were very happy to find out you could access your Netflix account while there, so you chose a random romantic comedy movie to chill while you ate.

“Don’t you have any other friends, Haewon-ah? Why does it have to be me?” You uttered loudly, lowering your face in the direction of the sink, where your phone rested against the counter while you washed your face, still a bit slow due to the early hours.

“Will it kill you, _____?” You hear Haewon’s voice coming as loud as yours from the speaker of your phone.

“Yeah, probably!” You affirmed and gestured as if she could see you. “Ugh, doesn’t Yoongi have any friends to ask for stuff? What’s the point of being famous if you can’t ask favors from important people?”

“If you think about it, you’re kind of important too… You’re the most relevant paleontologist in South Korea right now”, you can see in your mind’s eye the expression on her face as she strokes your ego with this particular comment.

You’re not usually a very narcissistic person, but when it comes to your professional life… You kind of are. Haewon knows that and she, sometimes, uses that in her own favor.

“Yeah, well, long story short is: I don't want to!” You stare at your reflection for a second in order to help you think about something else to say. “Can’t Chanyeol go?”

“No, he can’t”, she answers dryly. “Don’t be a fucking child, _____. I know you have nothing important to do today and I’m asking you for a favor”.

She is right, you have nothing to do this afternoon. You wanted to chill some more by the pool, but you know she will just laugh at you if you say that. You have no other excuses to give her, there’s apparently no way out of this.

“Can't this guy just call an Uber or something?” You try for the last time.

“_____, he’s stopped the shootings of his next movie in freaking Japan to come to my wedding, I can’t just leave him and greet him like any other guest” Yeah, she has a point. You don’t really show it, but you agree with her. Seokjin has always been a considerate friend, damn him for that. “And you two are gonna have to talk to each other in a few hours anyways, can’t you try to make it a little less uncomfortable? We’re all staying at the same fucking hotel. I think if you two meet alone before the rehearsal dinner, it will be easier to deal with each other’s presence. You’re my maid of honor, _____”.

You knew since day one that, as a maid of honor, you’d have many obligations in your friend’s wedding and when you accepted to be Haewon’s maid of honor, you were counting on being bothered with all sorts of requests from her. Even your assistant, Jeon Jungkook, helped every once in a while when you were too busy at the university. But honestly? The only thing you didn't see coming was having to pick Kim Seokjin up at the airport. All by yourself.

Apparently god, the gods or whoever runs the skies or whatever has a very controversial sense of humor. And this thing enjoyed putting you in all sorts of embarrassing situations. Because, come on, having to pick up your ex-boyfriend of years, who you broke up with to go study abroad and who also happened to be very hurt by the breakup at the time, at the fucking international airport was a fucking joke. If you saw it coming, you’d have joined Hoseok on the airplane.

Sighing in defeat, you finally ask your best friend.

“What time do I fucking have to be there?”

You drove to the airport with The Seeds of Love blasting through the sound system of your car, singing along to each and every single one of the songs, in a desperate attempt to calm yourself the fuck down. It worked to a certain degree, but you were still feeling the annoying, but familiar sensation inside of you.

When you parked the car in the airport’s parking lot, you had to fight the urge to vomit and to run away at the same time. You know that seeing Seokjin for the first time in years will definitely mess with you in ways you didn’t even want to imagine.

You don’t particularly enjoy this sensation, to feel extremely lost into someone, but also utterly vulnerable. That’s why you didn’t keep your word. That’s why you didn’t look for him when you came back. Being with him always made you feel like there’s no one else in the world, apart from him. It was a sensation like no other, loving someone with your whole heart and soul, but the vulnerability that necessarily comes with it doesn’t really sit well with you. It doesn’t even suit you anymore.

Also, deep down, you knew he had already moved on and it was incredibly naive of you to think a man like Seokjin would be single for long. To make matters worse, he is an actor, for god’s sake. He would never wait for you, when he has the chance to be with people who are completely out of your league, but totally into his league.

That’s why the best option for you was just to move on with your own ordinary, academic life. Find someone nice and as ordinary as you, Seokjin and you don't belong in the same world anymore and that’s fine. That’s how life works. Things aren’t unchangeable and so aren’t people.

With your mind racing, you tried the breathing exercise your psychologist taught before leaving the car, but the magic didn’t work this time around. You couldn’t stop thinking and speculating about how'd you really feel when you finally laid your eyes on him.

Your legs dragged you into the arrivals area, as your eyes scanned the place in hopes of finding Seokjin before he found you. You didn’t arrive at the airport much earlier than you should have, because you knew that you’d be anxious as fuck, which didn’t give you much time to only think or speculate how you’d feel when your eyes lay on Seokjin’s after so long. You found out pretty soon, when unexpectedly you saw his brown, almond shaped eyes staring directly at yours, as soon as the doors from arrival opened. It’s like after all this time, he still found you in a crowded room no matter what.

For a couple of seconds, it felt like everybody else in the world was out of focus and Seokjin was everything you could see. He came walking towards you, his face remained in a stoic expression and you desperately tried to recompose yourself, more on the inside than on the outside, since you’ve always been good at hiding your feelings. It felt so surreal seeing him, after he became a celebrity, after you left him to pursue your dreams, so many things have happened and so much has changed in the meantime. Each step he takes in your direction, makes you realize it was all real.

He is there in front of you, Kim Seokjin, in flash and bones. He still looked the same as he looked seven years ago, the same striking beauty that always made you think you were the luckiest woman in the world. You really were.

He was wearing an oversized black sweatshirt and also a pair of oversized blue jeans, he looks so fucking cool it hurts. His hair is longer than he used to have back then, but you really think the longer hair suits him very well. You almost hate him for looking so effortlessly handsome.

You tried giving him a half smile, because the fact that he didn’t react in any way to your presence made you feel nervous. He didn’t smile back, though as he got closer, he bowed to you. Simply bowed, as if you were just an ordinary acquaintance.

Gulping, you bowed back at him.

“Seokjin-ssi, hi! Wow, it’s been so long”, you tried, in a desperate attempt to make the situation less awkward.

He pressed his lips together and nodded, not really looking you in the eyes right now. Yeah, he probably still hates you. Great! Did you really have to mention it’s been long? Of course it’s been long since the last time you’ve seen each other and it’s all thanks to you. You’re so bad at small talk.

Why did you allow Haewon convince you to do this, for god’s sake?

“Er- Shall we, then?” You ask him, the silliest and most awkward smile still hanging on your lips.

“Lead the way”, he replies and hearing the sound of his velvety voice for the first time makes you quiver on the inside.

“Do you…N-Need any help with your baggage?” You felt like a teenager trying to talk to her high school crush, stuttering like that.

“Oh no, I got it”, he denies and nods his head no, his black hair moving like silk against the wind. “Er- Thanks, though”.

He sounded a tiny bit less cold, which made you feel 0,1% better. You’ll need a very long hot bath to relax after this, you know for sure. You turned without trying to say anything else and made your way towards your car silently, listening to him following you in a safe distance. Your mind was racing trying to find a way to have light small talk with him, because the awkward silence you were forced to share with him right now made you feel like crying.

The weather? Fuck no. Soccer? You don’t care for sports. Politics? You’re not sure of his political opinions nowadays. No silly or light comments came to your mind and trying to mention the wedding would be too obviously a desperate attempt and Seokjin wasn’t stupid.

You helped him accommodate his belongings in the trunk of your car almost in silence, only exchanging a few words about the car and you were ready to get in and endure the longest car ride from the airport to the hotel.

However, he surprised you when you heard his voice meeting your ears.

“Good to know you came back, ______-ssi”, then, Seokjin opened the car door and took his seat.

Ok, so, he wants to do this. Better than giving you the silent treatment all the way to the hotel, you figured. You follow him on the inside of your car and try giving him another half smile, obviously trying to show him you wanted this to go as smoothly as possible.

“Yes, I’m back”, you laugh nervously as you start the car. “It’s been two ye-”.

“I know”, he cuts you off. “I know it’s been two years”.

You know he knows. You have friends in common, who have obviously mentioned that you came back to Korea, at some point. You’ve always known this conversation would happen, but as much as you tried to prepare yourself for this moment, you realized you couldn't truly be prepared for it.

“Oh”, that’s all you managed to say.

This is the only man you’ve ever loved in your entire life. Finally confronting you after you left. Looking at his eyes, they burned with resentment. You understand his reasons, of course you do. You left him after he proposed to you right after college, to follow your dreams, to become who you are today. You loved him, but you’d never give up on your dreams for anyone and you also didn’t want him to give up on his dreams because of you. His career was starting to take off when you got the scholarship in China and he offered to leave everything behind to go with you.

But you said no to him.

It hurt like hell to do so, of course it did. You loved him, but because you loved him you couldn’t tell him it was ok to give up on his dreams, on his career, on his life to be with you in another country for god knows how many years. Because you loved him, you couldn’t be selfish. That’s why you left, but it didn’t matter how many times you tried to explain your reasons to him, he would never fully understand.

“If I remember correctly, you said you’d come and look for me when you came back”, he raised his brows as he said it softly, disguising his rancor. “What happened? Was it hard to track me down or something?”

He knew it wasn’t, since he’s one of Korea’s sweethearts right now.

“Very funny, Seokjin”, you sigh, looking at the road, trying your best to stay focused on the traffic.

“Yeah, I’ve always managed to make you laugh, right? Good thing I’ve built my career in show business, huh?” You felt his eyes burning where they touched you, as he fixed his gaze on your side profile. “But let me try a different approach. Why didn’t you keep your word? All these years, I… have waited for you, _____”.

“Did you, though?” You glance at his figure for a second and you see his eyes widening, then you turn your full attention back to the road ahead of you. “It wasn't like you’ve been single these past few years, you know? How did you expect me to come back years later, begging you to give me another chance after reading all about your flings with your coworkers all this time?”

He laughs humorlessly and when you don’t follow him, he asks you lowly.

“Are you serious?”

“Why would I not be?” You pinch your eyebrows as you reply to his question with another one.

“You tell me”, he scoffs, running his hands through his hair, then sighs loudly. “And don’t try to change the focus here. I asked you a question first”

“Seokjin, I…”, your voice trails off and you simply stop trying to find something to say.

Does he really need you to confess that you were scared that, after all those years, you were afraid of getting rejected? Doesn’t it go without saying? When you left, everything was different. Seokjin has always attracted the attention of, basically, everyone. He has always had unmatched visuals, an unique sense of humor, charisma, intelligence, morals. It took you such a long time to build your trust on him and on your relationship, because in the beginning, you’d compare yourself to everyone who approached him, scared he’d realize he could do so much better with other people, who were prettier, smarter, funnier than with you. Does he really need you to say that you just got scared all over again?

“Why didn’t you come find me when you came back, ______-ssi, like you promised?” He stressed the last word out as he spoke slowly, clearly annoyed by your silence.

“Things… changed”, you declared hesitantly, taking the easy road on your way to avoid focusing this too much on your feelings. “Haven’t they?”

“Not for me”, he replies without even wincing, then he adds. “Why? Have they changed for you?”

They haven’t, actually. You wish you could just tell him everything, like you used to. Just let him know how you really feel, how insecure you felt all the times you thought about calling him or even going after him in person. But how could you? Time does, in fact, change things. As much as two people wish for things to stay the same, they hardly ever do.

What you really wanted after all these years was just to throw yourself into Seokjin’s arms and find the comfort no one else has been able to give you ever since. If only he knew how much you craved him and how difficult it was to be inside of your car right now, where his perfume filled the whole space and almost made you intoxicated with longing.

You wish you were a little more selfish, so you’d just ignore the fact that everything happened the way it did and just throw yourself into his arms, not giving a shit about what comes next.

But you aren’t selfish, at least, not when it comes to Kim Seokjin.

With your mind racing, you hesitate before you’re able to form a coherent sentence in your brain and he notices.

“Ok, I see how it is, ______”, his head snaps in your direction again, even though you got your eyes focused on the road, you feel his eyes on you. “You’re seeing someone, aren’t you? Of course you are, for fuck’s sake. Of course you’ve found someone after all these years…”

If only he knew you’d compared every guy you met all this time to him, he’d laugh so hard, he’d probably get hiccups. You haven’t been able to establish true connections with anyone else ever since you left him, unlike him, who’s been involved in several dating rumors during these past few years. You know because you read all of the details from every single one of them, while the only dates you had ended up being on night stands with random guys you met in bars.

“No, I’m not”, you coldly reply, turning your face into his direction for a split second, just to see the surprise taking over his face.

“You’re not seeing anyone, then?” He allows the words to roll off his tongue slowly, repeating the question he asked you a few seconds ago, only this time the disbelief was obvious in his tone.

“No”.

Seokjin crosses his arms in front of his chest and breathes through his nose loudly. Maybe this was as uncomfortable to him as it was to you. You just couldn’t wrap your head around why he’d want to do this after all this time, both of you had said everything there was to be said back then. There just isn’t a reason for you to go through this all over again, fortunately, you aren’t far from his hotel now. You soon would be away from him all over again, safely hidden at your hotel room, where you could cry all night long, until the gigantic lump in your throat disappeared. Mostly because you’d try to forget about it with a relatively expensive bottle of wine.

After a brief moment of silence, he starts again.

“I just… Need to hear you saying why”, he turned to you as he spoke and it sounded like he was on the verge of crying.

Knowing you made him suffer has been something that prevented you from sleeping every once in a while and a lot of times you ended the nights hating yourself for it. You hate yourself for causing all of this. You just wish life was easier, you wish you could have everything you want, you wish you could have had a brilliant career and Seokjin at the same time.

After all these years, the truth is he doesn’t need you anymore. He’s famous, he can have anyone he wants. You just wish he could understand that and that it was the sacrifice you decided to make on his behalf. You want him to be happy, not stuck with you and your unexciting academic career.

“I really don’t know, Seokjin. There’s no… specific reason, I guess”, you gazed at him as you summoned the strength to continue. “I just think it doesn’t make sense to me anymore”.

It obviously is harder than you think, because you know none of it is true. You’re just a coward, you just avoided him these two past years, because you were scared of being permanently dumped. You guess you preferred the what if, than to really just let Seokjin go. You were not ready to let him go, he’s always been your haven, your safe place, even after the two of you broke up. He’s your favorite memory.

And it was better to have his memory untouched, than spoiling it with real life and getting dumped because he was having the time of his life as a famous actor, fucking god knows who.

“What doesn’t make sense?” He queries you almost in a whisper.

“Us”, you reply in the same tone. It takes every ounce of strength in you, but you lie again.

You don’t see it, but his eyes darken the minute your words meet his ears like a sucker punch to his stomach.

He takes in a deep breath and seconds later, your car is filled with his low, deeper voice.

“So, you’re saying that everything we lived together, everything we shared… The promises both of us made to each other… None of it makes sense to you anymore?”

Judging by the way he just asked you this, you were slowly starting to realize that, perhaps, it all still makes sense to him, just like it still makes sense to you. Perhaps, he’s been waiting for you to return, like you promised. Just like Haewon and Hoseok had foreseen it, but you refused to believe it. Because you are a fucking coward, the worst kind. You lie to people and you lie to yourself in a desperate attempt to protect your pride.

It was far too late to change your mind now. Specially, after the way he spoke to you now. You know he’s deeply hurt and things will, in fact, never be the same again.

You can’t even think about anything to say. You aren’t mentally able to tell him again that you think your history simply doesn’t make sense, the kind of love you and Seokjin have for each other doesn’t just stop making sense.

“You know what, ______-ssi? Nevermind” He breaks the silence, but his voice is still a little louder than just a whisper. “I thought I could do this, but it’s impossible to have this type of conversation like this. Can you please stop this car!? I’ll call myself an Uber”.

“What?” You ask him, dumbfounded. “I’m not gonna just drop you on the side of the road, we’re almost there-”.

“I’ll be fine”, he cuts you off dryly and louder than before. “I’ve been fine without you these past seven years of my life, it’s not like I need you anyways”.

Okay, you deserve to hear that. Your brain goes into code red and you’re very happy that you’re a good driver, because you know you can’t fully function right now. You open your mouth in an attempt to argue against his request, but no sound comes out of it.

“Seriously, ______. Stop this car”, he demands, this time around.

Your feet automatically hit the brakes, just like he told you to, stopping the car by the sidewalk. You’re still taking it all in. You imagined this wouldn’t end well, but you even surprised yourself with how bad it actually ended, all thanks to you, of course.

“Please, just send my baggage to my room when you get there”, he sneers, his eyes glued on your figure and you can’t muster up the courage to look into his eyes.

He opens the door and gets out of your car calmly, then closes the door delicately. That’s the scariest part of it all, Seokjin is the confronting type, he doesn’t take shit from people and he didn’t even want to continue talking with the conversation, there was no closure. He just cut you off. He couldn’t bear being in the same space as you. Saying the shit you said was probably the final nail to this coffin and as much as you hate admitting it to yourself, you were the one who dug this grave. You followed his figure with your eyes as he distanced himself from your car, not even once looking back.

He is now totally free to move on with his life, as he’s supposed to. He’s rich, beautiful, talented, charismatic, funny, relevant, famous. You don’t belong with him anymore and that’s fine. Some people aren’t made to be together and it is fine.

It actually isn’t fine, not at all, but you’ll learn how to live with it. You’re just happy to know he’ll live his life to the fullest now, after burying his past with you.

Lucky you driving has calming effects on you, so you play your sad girl vibe playlist and drive back to your place, as tears rolled down your cheeks.

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