#felt some kinda way when the shower said ''weight limit reached''...

[rubensmuse]

bit fruity

#felt some kinda way when the shower said ''weight limit reached''... #deadman #sam porter bridges #death stranding spoilers #death stranding #just squirrelly things

[heliosthegriffin]

Prodigy AU, Part II

AN: I’ll think of a proper name soon enough.

Part I

-------------

The young Jaune Arc had a affinity for the woods, to him, it was his special place. The were no rules in the woods, there were no older siblings to boss him around, and there were no parents to ignore him. It was just him and the woods.

He could run around till he was out of breathe, he could scream till his throat hurt, say all kinds of nasty mean words and names that would get him the spanking of his short life, and best of all there was no one out here to judge him, he was by himself, and he liked it that way. 

He had found out early in his life if he wanted to be alone, and to not snap at anybody, the best place to go was the woods. If he tried to go to his room there would either be someone waiting for him wanting him to do something for them, or they’d show up after he decided he wanted to be left alone. He loved his family, he didn’t really like them all the time though.

So like uncounted times before when he got frustrated at his family he returned to the woods, were he could feel like he belonged for a little while, where he didn’t have to feel bad about being different from his sisters.

Jaune never really had a direct path in the woods, but he often had a destination he’d find his way to, one way or after retracing his steps that way.

It was a large clearing maybe thirty feet across and letting more than fifteen feet wide. It was also covered in leaves, tree branches, and small trees and other brush. Occasionally a small animal or bird landed here, but by and large, this was Jaune’s hiding spot, this is where he laid lowed when he was mad or sad or anything in between.

Jaune looked over his clearing let out a small sigh of happiness, and then took off his shirt, revealing his bony, and surprising pale visage to the world. He then got looked around for his stick, there were many like it, but this was the one that was his.

His was a simple gnarled branch, thick as his wrist and longer than his leg, that had also had the bark shaved off and was shaped into a sword. He had done all the work himself, with a knife he borrowed from his dad’s toolshed... That he borrowed without asking.

Jaune didn’t have a name for his wooden sword, it was just his training sword till he could use Crocea Mors, the sword of his ancestor.

Jaune briefly dreamed of using Crocea Mors, of drawing it’s steel into the air and slaying entire hordes of Grimm, of using it’s shield to block canonfire and toss back Goliaths!

But, the feeling of rough wood in his hands brought him back to earth. He gripped it with both hands and did a simple overhand cut, creating a pleasant whistling sound to his ears.

It still felt a little heavy, but he liked it that way, and if it got too light, he’d replace it again like with the others.

Nodding to himself, Jaune got to work with his daily routine. He put aside his sword and went to work with the strengthening excersies he looked up. Starting with Jumping jacks, squats, lunges, and ending with some exercises to limber up before he did his sword practice.

Jaune felt a pleasent burn throughout his body, and took some deep breaths, his face red with excertion, but he powered through, and grabbed his wooden sword.

He gripped his sword and then began his training, raising his wood to the air he started with one hundred overhead strikes.

“One ... Two... Three...” Continuing till he reached his set. Then began his work at going through sideways strikes, diagonal cuts, and then working his way through various thrusts, doing a hundred of each, counting out each one and restarting if he slipped up.

Jaune let his practice sword fall to the ground, his arms shaky with fatigue and very sore. He took a seat against a mossy tree, and let his body do it’s magic, before he did his final set.

Jaune wasn’t sure why he did this everyday, he didn’t particularly like it, it was kinda boring, he wasn’t impressing anyone, and he was always so sore!

He leaned harder into the moss, and wasn’t like anyone was going to see him and be like ‘Oh, look at him he’s so awesome!’ He let out a sigh, his sweat soaked bangs falling over his face.

He was unable to quit though, even now with his body sore and aching, he could feel the call of the wild through him granting him energy again, something about being out in the woods just seemed to refresh him, his legs were shaking in place both from working out and from wanting to get moving again. Somedays, it just felt like he never ran out of energy till his head hit the pillow. 

Jaune looked at the dense woods around him, and wondered if it as just park of playing in the woods so much? That maybe spending so much time around around the wilderness it stained himself with it.

Tossing his head around, getting rib of cricks in his neck, looking up at the grey-toned autumn sky, he had to be honesty that it was just as much mental as physical. He enjoyed becoming stronger, even if nobody notice, just a couple of months ago he struggled picking up a twenty-five pound weight with two arms, and now he could pick it up with one arm, even if he struggled to do so. 

There was also that worming sensation in the back of his head too, that idea of trying out one more new move, or doing one more set, the idea that he could just push himself that little bit further and break his limits.

He rose on shake knees, and took a couple deep breaths, the cool air touching his hot lungs, burning nose and sore throat.

It burned in a good way though, soon the shaking settle, and smile came across his young face. He could get back too it now.

He picked up his wooden blade, ready to do another set, but his would be a different set. He set his eye on a tree, one with marred back, the one he had been practicing on.

‘Thwack-

 Thwack-

 Thwack-,’

Jaune began his assault on the tree practicing all the strikes he could thinks of, doing full sets of each before switching the next.

“Ouch!” Jaune said dropping the sword, his hands and wrists throbbing. The vibrations being sent down the wood, left his hands a little numb and sore.

He waved his hands in the airs, waiting to regain some feeling before he could continue.

Feeling fortunately came back soon, and he grabbed his weapon. Finishing his sets. Taking a break to catch his breath once he was done.

Now that he was done with that part came his favorite.

It wasn’t doing another set really, it was just him switching between different strikes and chaining them together different way.

His freestyling went on till he felt a fat raindrop hit his head, the cold water startling him.

He looked up, seeing darker clouds moving in with sheets of rain falling behind if. 

Jaune grimaced, he’d have to leave. 

He huffed a sigh, and then struck one last powerful blow against the tree, a loud cracking echoing out.

His wooden sword had a large crack darting down it’s center, Jaune looked at and did what his juvenile mind thought was the funnest. He slammed the sword again and again against the bark till it broke in two.

Jaune felt a degree of pride in breaking his wooden sword. But, then felt annoyance that he’d have to make another one.

The rain then started coming down as Jaune swiped his shirt back on, soaking it near instantly. 

He was already soaked, so Jaune decided to just meander his way home and instead of trying to beat the storm home.

---------

Jaune ran through the rain towards his back door, tossing open the door and slamming it closed as he got in.

“Jaune Arc! What have I told you about slamming the door!”

Jaune jumped as his mother yelled at him.

Jaune looked into the kitchen where his mother sat next to his father, and the rest of his family around the table.

His mother did not look pleased.

‘Uh-oh.’

“Um, you said not to do it?” Jaune said carefully.

His mother looked at him sharply, “I believe I said, I’d take a switch to your behind, if you did it again.”

Jaune looked at his mother and then at the door, weighing his options. One, take his mother anger, or two, go without dinner. 

His stomach growled, making the decision for him.

‘Traitor,’ He thought at himself.

Juniper Arc looked at her messy, dirty, and wet son.

Then sighed, “Go get cleaned up and then come down here for supper.”

Jaune looked somewhat surprised. His mother had never been one to shy away from punishment.

Juniper called out as Jaune walked up stares to the bathroom. “But, remember if you slam that damn door again, I will take a switch to your behind, understood?”

“Yes, Ma’am.”

He thought he could hear his sisters laughing at him as he walked up stairs.

The shower was unsurprisingly cold, his sister took frequent showers and that had left him without hot water in the past, and he wasn’t allowed to use the master shower in his parents bedroom, as that was full of adult stuff.

By the time he got back to the table, his mother was doing dishes and his sisters were nowhere in sight, not even Joan, but she had become more and more out of sight over the last couple of months. Sometimes it felt like he was only one who realized he was still here.

Jaune ate his dinner silently, eating a large portion of roast beef, mash potatoes, greens, a couple rolls, and a couple pieces of blueberry cobbler.

He heard laughing.

He looked up to his mother.

“Boy, if you keep eating so much, I might have to charge ya.”

Jaune didn’t think it was that funny, but he faked a laugh. “If you don’t want me to eat so much, you shouldn’t cook so much!” Jaune said trying to play along.

“Heh, alright then,” His mother than looked over the table at the much emptier table. “Well, with you around at least the dishes are easier to clean, now are you ready to help your mom clean up?”

Jaune wanted to roll his eyes, as though it was ever a question on whether he’d help or not, it was an unwritten Arc family rule, that the last to the table helped clean it up.

Not that he mind spending time with his mother. 

Helping his mother do the dishes didn’t take long, the CCT connection was spotty on a good day, with a storm about it was near zero and what was left was being hogged by his sisters. So, Jaune busied himself with videos he had downloaded on his scroll, watching Hunters fight Grimm or Criminal.

He wanted to be like that one day.

AN: Most of these beginning chapter will be about training, how Jaune changes his training, and how he increases his training, but, it’ll also feature frequent time-skips, as I doubt anybody wants to read a hundred chapters of expostion on training and conditioning. I’ll try to do some stuff with the Arc family, but that kinda hard considering only Saphron really exists, and the other have no set personality. So I’ll either keep them to a minimum or make some OC’s.

#Prodigy AU #Jaune Arc

[floralseokjin]

The Quarantine 

⇢ and beyond timeline (after crystallised) 

[saga index] [drabble index]

kim seokjin x reader // smut // 2,585 words 

warnings! clothed sex, kinda messy, face riding, seokjin’s blue tracksuit (yes his most recent selfie inspired some things), he’s moody and cute in this one 🤧

“You kinda smell...” You mumbled, lifting your face from Seokjin’s arm. It wasn’t a bad smell, wasn’t unbearable, but it was there. Ever so slightly musky, the results of his three day old tracksuit. 

“No I don’t,” he refuted immediately, not bothering to look up from the phone in his hand. “I showered.”

You sat up a little, looking down at him. He was flat on his back, lying on your bed where he’d been all morning, cocooned in that tracksuit, hood up. You’d woken up pretty late, eaten breakfast in the kitchen but still Seokjin was horizontal on his phone. Although while you were asleep he’d had a shower apparently. 

You’d given up and joined him a few minutes ago, if he was planning to be lazy all day then so were you. “It’s this then,” you told him, tugging at his navy hoody. 

He grunted, too engrossed in the game he was playing. Games. You were sick of them. He was either glued to his phone or glued to his PC—which yes, he had moved in too. It was a wonder you still had the ability to move around in your apartment. 

“I’m not taking it off.” 

“You’re so gross.” 

But then again, maybe you were too. You were still in your pyjamas, not even showered yet and it was past midday. When had you gotten so lazy? When had you both gotten so lazy? 

Lockdown had started off great. Work shut, school practically over now and waiting for a graduation you probably wouldn’t be able to attend. A hot boyfriend to entertain your time. Sex and cuddles on tap. Zoom quizzes with your friends and family. Binging the frick out of Netflix all day. Free time was something you had never seemed to have enough of, and yet now you were drowning in the stuff. 

That’s when you’d started getting lazy. No routine. Like too lazy to even start new boxsets or to even watch YouTube. Too lazy to apply makeup or eventually get dressed properly unless you had to pop out to get groceries. Too lazy for conversation. There were a lot of one word questions and replies lately, and don’t even get you started on the bickering. No major arguments had occurred, but Seokjin was finding out you loved giving silent treatment. Quarantine was a bitch, but you‘d learned to work with it else you’d just get on one another’s nerves. 

“Hey, you wanted to quarantine with me.” Seokjin stated, still concentrating on his game. “This is what you get. The cold, harsh reality.” 

He was joking around, you thought, but there was still a little something in his tone. You guessed someone had woken up a little moody. Calling him smelly had awoken the beast. 

“If I remember correctly, you wanted to stay with me.” 

“No, I wanted to stay with you at my place.” 

You shouldn’t really. Rile him up, you mean. But like an itch that shouldn’t be scratched, you couldn’t stop. “So what? Staying at your place would magically make you more hygienic.” You tried to keep the amusement out of your voice but it failed. 

At the same time he must’ve lost his game, groaning loudly before dropping his phone on the bed. He was mad but tried not to rise. “I’m already hygienic. I just have a limited amount of clothes.”

You were lying back down by now, on your side as you watched him clench his jaw and stare up at the ceiling. A slow smile spread across your face. “Again, if I remember correctly, which I am, you came here with the teeniest hand luggage.” 

He blanked you. Rude. Couldn’t he take some light teasing? You shuffled closer, poking at one of his cheeks. “Don’t be moody.” 

“I’m not being moody.” He sounded like he was. 

“You are.” 

“Aren’t.” 

“Are.” 

“Aren’t.” 

“Are.” 

“Are—ahh, stop!” He whined. 

You giggled, poking him again. “Let’s not argue.” 

“We’re not arguing!” He was really whiny today. He turned on his side, facing you with a pout. “You’re annoying.” 

You reached over and kissed his mouth. Those big, pouty lips were made for kissing. “I’m bored.” You said it in the way of apology. He understood. Sometimes annoying one another was all you had for entertainment. 

“You and me both,” he agreed before groaning. “I’m sick of feeling lazy.” 

He kissed you this time. It was with a lack of energy but somehow his tongue still found its way into your mouth. His hand slipping under your t-shirt to rub your side. 

“Mmm,” you hummed into him, beginning to feel warm all over. “Wanna do it?” 

He groaned like a man in agony, twisting himself onto his back dramatically. “I’m even too lazy for sex. This is so depressing.” He threw his hands into the mattress, basically having a tantrum. 

You rolled your eyes, burrowing under his arm because honestly a little bit of musk didn’t faze you at all, why would it? He wrapped his arm around you. “Quit being dramatic,” you told him, running your fingers across his chest before slowly dragging the hand down his torso. You landed on his crotch, cupping the bulge surprisingly easily. Don’t say he’d ran out of underwear too... Was he really too lazy to put things in the laundry basket? Or just start online shopping?  

You ignored the urge to call him out, horniness way more important right now. Had you missed out the part where you’d both gotten too lazy for sex too? Or maybe the novelty had worn off... Either way, something was happening right now and you needed to act on it immediately.  

You nuzzled into his neck, giving him a squeeze. “If you’re feeling lazy just lie there.” 

He froze under your touch, gladly meeting your lips as you kissed your way up from his neck and jaw. “I can probably do that.” 

You smirked and pushed your hand down his sweatpants, stroking him until he began to grow hard. Rocking his hips into your hand he hummed in encouragement. “Mm. I can definitely do that.” 

It wasn’t long before you were straddling him, sweatpants hung low and his dick upright in your grasp. He was eagerly waiting for you to sit on it, getting impatient when you let go of him to shimmy out of your pyjama shorts. “Just pull them to the side,” he “suggested”, hands reaching out to help you.  

Well, now you were both too lazy to even get naked for sex. 

You made enough of a gap to make it work, angling the head of his dick against your entrance and pushed down. It stung and you had to grit your teeth a little as you took him deeper. Probably could’ve done with some foreplay but it was too late now, besides the way Seokjin’s eyes rolled back into his head as you swallowed him made it all worth it. Got you wetter too. 

“Fffuck,” he cursed, fingers digging into your thighs. “You’re trying to murder me.” 

“Serves you right for being so moody.” You quipped. 

He went to argue but gave up, probably had something to do with you beginning to bounce up and down on him, chuckling a little breathlessly instead. But out of shape, unable to go to the gym, you found yourself getting tired quickly, which was kind of embarrassing. Riding dick was overrated. Luckily for you, you could always count on Seokjin.

Gripping your hips tightly he thrust up. And up, and up. Over and over again—all whilst still flat on his back in that damn tracksuit, hood still up too. He was actually pretty relentless, got you a bit louder than usual. Him too, grunting from exertion. You were beginning to clench around his dick, an orgasm definitely approaching, when his movements got a little erratic. What were hard and fast thrusts turned deep and deliberate. He was losing his cool, desperate for your warmth. Desperate for how soft you were, how wet you were. 

As if he was lost in the same thoughts, he moaned out suddenly, freezing inside of you, and that really was the end of it. Your impending orgasm disappeared as he came inside you, almost as if it was never there at all. 

Both trying to catch your breath, you slid off his dick with a nudge from him, underwear snapping back into place. Your legs were wobbly and you were still pretty horny. You yelped a little when Jin suddenly grasped you by the hands and tugged you into him, his mouth on yours immediately. 

“You were so close to coming, I could feel it.” He sounded apologetic and a little mad at himself. 

“It’s okay.” 

“No, it’s not,” he insisted, grabbing for your hips to try and lift you upwards. “Come here, let me eat you out.” 

You laughed and weighted yourself, cupping the sides of his face so he would look at you. “Your cum is about to start dripping out of me.” You needed to shower. 

“Don’t care.” He was determined, you’d give him that. He didn’t give up until you were kneeling over his chest, his lips on your thighs, kissing whatever skin he could reach. 

“Seokjin,” you whined, but the tingles of your lost orgasm began to start up again. A pulsing between your legs you couldn’t stop. 

He kissed up the inside of your right thigh pretty loudly. This was the most energy he’d had in days, and somehow he was still on his back! “If I don’t get my mouth on your beautiful, delectable c— 

“Don’t say it,” you stopped him. How crass of him. But that beautiful, delectable cunt of yours was burning with impatience. 

Seokjin tugged at your shorts, pulling them down over your ass, underwear and all. “Take them off,” he asked nicely (more like demanded).

“Okay, okay.” It was a little difficult and clumsy, a bunch of giggles from you and impatient (but playful) slaps to your ass from Seokjin as you attempted to strip from the waist down still crowded around that pretty face of his, but finally you managed it. 

His tongue found you instantly, practically smooshing you to his face, and despite how good it felt, you were only aware of one thing. Something that was beginning to trickle out of somewhere... 

“Jin,” you whined, “it’s literally sliding out of me–ahhh–!” You were cut off, hips jutting into his face—and hand, because at that exact moment he’d slipped two of his fingers inside of you, pumping in and out and in turn stopping any rogue cum in its tracks. 

“Now it’s not,” he said simply, taking a breath before diving straight back in. He was being noisy with it today. Maybe it was on purpose or maybe he just hadn’t eaten breakfast this morning, who knew. Actually, was he the one being sloppy, or was it you? 

Squelch and slurp, squelch and slurp. You grinded into his face, mouth open as you held your breath, trying to stop the moans that wanted to burst out. You could feel wet against the inside of your thighs, could feel how easily his fingers fucked into you, how little friction there was. Shit, why were you so wet? So messy?

Your moan finally broke free when Seokjin’s lips clamped around your clit, sucking it with just the right amount of pressure, and you gripped onto his hood, tugging down tightly. You either hurt him or he was boiling up, because immediately he used his free hand to pull the hood off, fighting with it for a second until you found some sense to help him, gladly gripping his hair now instead. 

He groaned approvingly, encouraging you and brought his hand to your ass, spanking you once as he sucked harshly on your clit. You yelped, pushing into his face and he repeated, the two fingers that were inside of you digging into your g-spot. Your knees buckled, a few seconds more of that and you’d cum all over him. As if he didn’t know that. 

A third spank and that was you done. You came like an explosion. It was so intense you had to rip away from Seokjin’s grasp, body uncontrollable as you pulsed and twitched. In a bid to stop the overflowing pleasure, yet at the same time make it last as long as possible, you pushed your ass into his chest, grinding down frantically, your hands gripping his sides to save you from falling. 

He reached for your hips to keep you steady, watching you with hungry eyes. Yup, he definitely found this hot. “Unfair,” he grumbled, but his voice was weak and shaky. You definitely found that hot. “I was so confident I was about to make you squirt.” 

You think he may have been right. Your body was still shaking, heart beating fast against your ribcage and you felt odd. Some kind of adrenaline rush. By the look on Seokjin’s face that would be his new obsession now. His new goal. You’d spend the rest of quarantine with him determined to make you squirt one way or another. At least it would give him some gumption. 

Gradually feeling a lot more like yourself, you really took a look at Seokjin and giggled. He looked at you questioningly. “Your hair,” you explained, reaching closer for it. It was pulled out on end. It looked a mess. In fact, he did too. The sheen of your arousal and possibly his own saliva was still glistening slightly across his jaw and chin. There was even a spot on his nose where you guessed you’d grinded too hard. 

He scowled and lifted his head up to flip his hood back on. His hair wasn’t in the best shape anyway, not since you’d both hacked at it with a scissors a couple of weeks ago... Still, it was cute. He was cute. Even when he was a moody little shit. 

“Leave me alone,” he whined, sitting up now, cupping your ass as he brought you to sit on his crotch. When had he put his dick back in his sweatpants? You’d been way too distracted for the finer details. 

He looked down at his torso. “Awh, yuck,” he chuckled, pulling at the fabric. 

You looked too, face to face with the mess you’d made all over that stinky hoody of is. It wasn’t just his face with that was shining, put it that way... 

You grinned and wrapped your arms around his neck. “It’s definitely going in the wash now.” 

He leaned in closer and rubbed your noses together. “That was your plan all along, wasn’t it?” Not exactly, but you’d gotten your way, and a mind blowing orgasm to go with it. You kissed him and he smiled. “Love you.” 

“Really? Sure you’re not sick of me?” You teased. 

He scoffed. “Sick of being in this tiny apartment, yes. Sick of you? Never.” 

Lame ass, but it worked. Got you all fuzzy feeling. Nearly distracted you long enough to forget about the mess you were in. It was time for a shower. 

“Okay,” you cupped his jaw, moving his face this way and that playfully. “I feel so gross, you’re going to have to carry me to the bathroom.” 

He smiled sweetly. “Gladly.” 

And off you went with a squeal, wrapping your legs around his waist and holding on for dear life as he gripped your bare ass and leapt off the bed, sprinting for the bathroom.  

Written 2020. Please refrain from posting my work elsewhere. No translations allowed. © floralseokjin 2020

#seokjin smut #bts smut #jin smut #bts fanfic #jin fanfic #floralseokjin:writings #fic:crystallised

[hockeylvr59]

A Christmas Bride || Cale Makar

Requested: [ ] yes [x] no

Authors Note: I mentioned a Christmas wedding..so here’s a Christmas wedding. Shoutout to everyone who helped with details like nicknames, the dress, and everything else and to those ladies who let me use their names for bridesmaids. See ‘tagged/037′ for inspiration post and first dance song. 

Warnings: I honestly don’t think there’s anything here I need to warn you about. 

Word Count: 6,914 (~250 of which is a reading attributed to its author as mentioned)

~~~~~~

Sitting in the passenger seat of the SUV your fiance was driving, you took in the city lights of Calgary as they slowly disappeared into the rearview mirror. It was three days before Christmas and the Avs had just defeated the Flames on the road. Cale’s parents had left you behind to wait for their son, declaring that they would see you at home soon. When Cale appeared from behind the locker room doors, he was all smiles. With his arms wrapped around you, he’d kissed you softly and then asked if you wanted to go for a drive with him. 

“Well, you’re kinda my ride so I guess so…” You’d teased, leaning against Cale’s side as he took your hand and guided you to where the second car his parents had driven was parked. You had no idea where you were going, but you trusted that Cale did and just relaxed, his hand in yours over the center console as he drove, Christmas carols playing on the radio. 

You’d been on the road for about an hour when you saw Cale glancing over at you. 

“Hey sweetheart, do you trust me?” He asked. You made a face because of course you did, but you were confused as to why he was asking. 

“You know I do…” You simply replied. It was only then that Cale released your hand for a moment, opening one of the many small compartments in the vehicle to pull out something which he dropped onto your lap. 

“Put this on for me?” He requested and when you picked up the item you realized it was a blindfold. 

“Cale?” You murmured, even more confused now as to what was going on. 

“Just trust me and put it on okay?” He insisted. “I promise it’ll all make sense soon and that nothing is going to happen to you.” And because you trusted Cale with everything, you complied, pulling the blindfold over your eyes before leaning against the door again. Moments later Cale reached for your hand and you sat in darkness with him rubbing patterns over your palm just softly singing to the carols playing. About eight songs later you felt the vehicle stop and Cale squeezed your hand in his. 

“Go ahead and unbuckle and sit up.” He instructed. “But don’t touch the blindfold. I promise we’re almost there.” He added. You followed his directions as the sound of his car door slammed shut and then a blast of cold air hit you as your door opened. “Alright, sweetheart...come here.” Cale breathed, offering a hand out to help you from the car and onto your feet. Two more car doors slammed before his hand was taking yours again. 

“Alright. Just come with me. I promise I won’t let you trip. Just a short walk and then I swear you can take the blindfold off.” You were beyond confused and anxious, but the feeling of his hand was soothing as he indeed started guiding your steps. It was a little more than a short walk, but that was only a minor point and after three doors, an elevator ride, and just a few minutes, you were finally stopping, Cale’s hand falling to your hip. 

“Can I take this off now?” You pleaded softly and Cale’s chuckle filled your ears before his fingers drifted up to pull it off of your face. 

“Yes, but just look at me.” He teased, his features appearing across your vision in the dim space. 

“Where are we...what the hell is going on Cale?” You inquired next and Cale ran his fingers across the back of his neck before handing you a wrapped box. 

“Open this...it will explain everything,” Cale promised, his hands cupping your cheeks to pull you in for a kiss that you melted into, your brain swimming. “But I gotta go. I’ll see you tomorrow.” Stealing one more kiss, Cale moved back through the door that was behind him, as you called his name trying to understand. 

Left alone, you panicked and immediately reached for a light switch. When the lights turned on and you turned around you couldn’t help but gasp. In front of you, off to the left was a jacuzzi tub and a few more steps into the room revealed a king-size bed tucked behind a dividing wall to the right. 

Running your fingers through your hair you made your way over to the bed and plopped down. Remembering the box in your other hand that Cale said would explain everything, you looked at it, quickly pulling off the envelope attached to the top. Inside was a letter and you felt yourself holding your breath as you started to read Cale’s familiar handwriting.

Y/N,

I’m pretty sure it was on our first date that I learned just how much you love Christmastime. And it wasn’t long after that before your friends and family were telling me about how you’ve always dreamed of a Christmas wedding. Watching you light up this time of year is one of my favorite things about you. 

I know being with me isn’t always easy, I know what my career has caused you to give up, will cause you to give up in the future. Yet through it all, you’ve stayed right by my side. I can’t express to you how much that means to me. 

When I proposed, I promised to make all of your dreams come true if you’d just let me make you my wife. 

But since that day I’ve watched you struggle. I’ve seen the pressure of supporting me and taking care of our home weigh on you. I’ve seen the tears you cry when the media is critical of my play or when people who have no business in our personal life butt in on social media. And I’ve seen you struggle to pick a date, decide on a venue for our wedding. In order to make things easier on me, you’ve been trying to wrap your head around a summer wedding, even though we both know that’s not what you want. 

So...without me rambling too much...I know you have questions. Likely, where am I and what the hell is going on? 

Where are you? The Fairmont Banff Springs Hotel in Banff, Alberta. 

What the hell is going on? Open the box now. 

Tossing the wrapping paper to the floor, you opened the box, pulling out a cotton robe from the tissue paper. Turning it over, you held it up, the words ‘Mrs. Makar’ staring back at you in a forest green script. Under that, in a similar deep red script, was ‘12.23.20’, and suddenly swallowing was a lot harder. Picking the letter up again you continued reading, tears forming quickly and streaming down your cheeks. 

I took note of tonight’s game against Calgary on the road from the moment the schedule was released. And it stayed in the back of my mind until that night at Gabe’s where Mel and Courtney grilled you about wedding planning and you came home and cried yourself to sleep. 

Y/N...it absolutely killed me to know that planning our wedding, one of the happiest days of our lives, was making you so upset. If you’ll recall, the next morning I told you to take a break and that it would all work out. 

That morning, I called my mom and your mom on the way to the rink and told them that I wanted to make this particular dream of yours come true. With both our families on board and a very limited date window I started making some calls and with a name drop or five, some luck, and a LOT of hard work, here we are. 

I suppose I should briefly apologize for my slight manipulation of you with insisting you go dress shopping, come up with your half of the guest list, and taste cakes with me but I hope all of that will be quickly forgiven when you see the results of my efforts. 

I love you Y/N and all I’ve ever wanted was to see you happy because from that first day on UMASS’s campus that’s all you’ve ever made me. 

So relax. Everything is taken care of. You just sit back and enjoy. 

Anxious and extremely excited,

Your soon-to-be husband

P.S. Text your mom when you pull yourself together so she can bring you your bag. 

P.P.S. Shower tonight. Breakfast will be brought at 7:30 with your hair and makeup artists arriving around 8:15. 

Cale was truly the absolute best guy on the planet and it all still felt completely surreal. Just yesterday you were stressing over how you were going to get through Christmas with everyone asking about wedding plans and now..now tomorrow you were actually getting married. 

A quick text to your mom and she was there, wrapping her arms around you after setting your bag on the bed. You hadn’t expected to see her until Cale’s first road trip after the holidays when you had plans to fly home and have a belated Christmas with your family. 

“This is really happening?” You found yourself questioning, still unable to shake the shock you were feeling. 

“Yeah, baby girl.” Your mom assured you. “You found yourself a pretty incredible man who would literally give you the moon if you asked for it.” Once again you were blown away by the weight of Cale’s love and though your eyes still watered, your smile was quickly growing. 

After your mom caught you up to date with a few more details, ones Cale’s letter hadn’t provided, she bid you goodnight and told you that she would be back for breakfast in the morning, urging you to try and get some sleep. 

Keeping in mind Cale’s advice to shower tonight, you quickly but carefully ran through an extensive beauty routine in the shower. Since you were still too anxious to sleep, you only quickly dried your body before moving to the jacuzzi tub. Tucked into the warm water with jets soothing your muscles you texted Cale, unable to help yourself. 

You’re insane and incredible and I love you so much. Also...I can’t wait for you to see the dress. xoxo Your Bride. 

You weren’t expecting a response, so you set your phone aside and just tried to relax knowing that morning was already creeping up on you. Feeling your skin start to prune, you finally climbed out, dried off, and crawled into bed. Though your mind wouldn’t stop racing, you did eventually drift off. 

___

The sound of your alarm going off pulled you from sleep and it took you a moment to remember where you were. Suddenly it hit you that you were getting married today and wave after wave of nerves crashed over you. It was an excited nervous but one that almost left you feeling dizzy all the same. 

Pulling yourself out of bed, you threw on some sweats, just in time for a knock to sound at your door. Moving over to it, you saw that it was your mom and you let her in, hugging her again. 

“Did you get any sleep?” She inquired a warm but nervous smile on her face as well. 

“A little.” You replied. “My mind won’t stop racing though.” You admitted. 

“You’re worried about all of the details…” Your mom mused. “I’m sure Cale’s note already told you this but relax and just enjoy your wedding day baby, Cale has everything under control and he didn’t forget anything. I have never seen a man so detail-oriented regarding his wedding before.” She laughed and it made you giggle as you fell even more in love with him. 

Any further discussion of your nerves was interrupted by the door again and this time it was in fact breakfast. Within minutes of its arrival, your best friends and bridesmaids arrived and wrapped you up in so many hugs, their joy infectious. Catching up with them over breakfast made your heart flutter because it had been too long since you’d seen them. 

“We need to find us men like Cale.” Your college roommate, Rachel, mused a wistful look in her eyes. 

“Good luck with that. He’s kind of one of a kind.” You smiled. “But I mean I can introduce you to his teammates, I think you’d get along well with Andre.” You teased, sending her a wink. 

Breakfast had included mimosas, which was working wonders to take the edge off of your anxiety, causing you to be your usual open and bubbly self. As you finished breakfast your bridesmaids disappeared to grab their own robes to change into as well as to grab their dresses. While they were gone you slipped into your robe as well, your mom already starting to tear up at that sight alone. 

As your bridesmaids returned, dress bags in hand, the hairstylist and makeup artist arrived. They both got to work on your mom, and you turned to your bridesmaids a curious look on your face. 

“So...I know I didn’t pick these dresses. Do I at least get to see them?” You asked. Each of your bridesmaids zipped open the dress bags revealing different style dresses in the same dark forest green color. 

“Cale suggested the color to us and then told us to use our best judgment.” Your childhood best friend, Anne, explained. “We think he was right on point but what do you think?” 

“I think I’m going to have some pretty hot bridesmaids to set up with my hubby’s teammates.” You joked. “I don’t know anything really about this wedding but I’m sure they’ll be perfect.” You added, taking a deep breath to calm the next wave of nerves. 

For the next few hours, you bs’ed with your girls while each, in turn, got their hair and makeup done. At some point, a photographer and a videographer arrived popping in and out of the suite. Before long it was your turn to sit in the chair, and when a mirror was handed to you when they were done, you almost burst into tears at the woman staring back at you, hardly believing that it was yourself. 

“Wow…” You whispered, letting out a shaky breath. 

“Cale isn’t going to know what hit him.” Your best friend from your major, Moni, declared. 

“Yeah...you look smoking hot Y/N.” Rachel agreed. It felt like everything was a blur as you finished eating a quick snack before watching your bridesmaids slip into their dresses. When your mother returned, Cale’s mom was with her, both dressed and ready to go. 

“Oh, sweetheart....you look stunning.” Cale’s mom declared, pulling you into a hug. “He’s gonna lose it. He’s fully admitted he’s sure he’s going to cry.” She laughed. 

“Should we get you dressed?” Your mom inquired and with the photographer and videographer on standby, they helped you into your dress, settling the straps onto your shoulders before zipping you in. It fit like a glove and your friends all gasped, having not seen it before. 

“Y/N…” They murmured, each having tears form in their eyes. 

“You aren’t allowed to cry or I’ll cry.” You chastised, feeling yourself get emotional. This was the day you’d been waiting your entire life for and so many different emotions were swirling through you. Taking a sip of water, you tried to calm your racing heart as you carefully sat on the edge of one of the chairs in the room. Fanning yourself, you saw Laura grab two small boxes, handing them to you with a smile before she took the seat across from you. 

“Cale sent the top one, says it’s your something new and blue. The other is from me and it’s your something borrowed.” Laura explained. Your mom quickly came over with the necklace Cale had given you last Christmas, an eight-sided snowflake so that you would always have a piece of him, or at least his jersey number, with you. 

“Cale suggested this as your something old.” She declared, fastening it around your neck. Opening the box Cale had sent, you couldn’t help but laugh. Inside was a blue and maroon colorado avalanche garter. 

“Oh boy.” You breathed. “Yeah, I guess that works.” Your expression caused everyone else in the room to laugh as you shook your head, working the garter onto your leg. “If this is the only inclusion of the avs besides as guests, I suppose I should be happy.” You teased, dropping your dress back down to hide the garter. Finally, you took the box that Laura had brought and opened it to reveal a diamond tennis bracelet, worn with age. 

“That was my mother’s, she gave it to me when Cale was born, and I plan to give it to you someday.” She expressed. “But I think you should borrow it for today because it just feels right.” Leaning over, you wrapped her in a hug as you thanked her. 

“I hope you know how grateful I am for the man you birthed and raised.” You murmured, trying not to cry. “He is...he is everything I ever could have asked for and I know so much of that is because of you.” 

“Oh honey, you’ve taken the man I raised and made him an even better man. I am so grateful to be able to call you my daughter.” This moment with your mother-in-law was so special and you had to take another sip of water to pull yourself back together. “Now I’m gonna go check on my son because I think it’s time for your dad to come see you. We’ll see you downstairs.” Her words were full of excitement as you hugged her and she squeezed your hands before leaving the room, taking a load full of things belonging to your bridesmaids with her. 

Your grandmother made her way up to the room just before your dad and when she arrived she immediately started crying at how beautiful you look. By the time your dad knocked on the door, you were just trying to keep distracted so you wouldn’t start crying, telling stories about dates with Cale and how you knew he was the one almost right away. You hadn’t expected your dad to cry, but he did get a little emotional as he wrapped you in his arms. With all of these moments captured in photos and videos you knew you would certainly fully cry over them in the future. 

As the clock ticked closer to the ceremony time, you felt more nerves roll over you in waves, slowly becoming overwhelming. Looking at your mom and dad you let out a shaky sob. 

“I...I know Cale doesn’t want to see me before...but I...I need to at least hold his hand for a moment...please?” You requested, now noticing that your hands were shaking. You weren’t getting cold feet, that certainly wasn’t what you were feeling, it was all just so much emotion in such a short amount of time. 

Nodding, your mom reached for her phone and stepped into the hall. After a minute she returned and motioned for you to follow her, your bare feet padding down the hall until you reached an alcove. 

“Cale is on his way up.” She assured you, kissing your head before stepping away to give you some privacy. Nodding, you just focused your breathing until footsteps approached from the hall to your right. 

“Hey, sunshine, what’s up...you’re not getting cold feet on me are you?” The sound of Cale’s voice was music to your ears and you reached a hand out around the corner. 

“No...no cold feet.” You promised. “I just…” You started but paused feeling Cale’s hand lace in yours. “I...I needed this.” 

“Mom says I’m going to lose it when I see you.” Cale breathed. “I’m so excited to finally marry you.” His words in combination with the feeling of his hand around yours, soon had you feeling like yourself again, some of the overwhelming emotions lessening. 

“So I told Rachel I’d set her up with Burky.” You chatted, loving the sound of Cale’s laugh in reaction to your words. 

“I’m sure he’ll have no complaints about that,” Cale replied. “You okay now?” He whispered. “Or do you need a hug because I can just close my eyes.” He offered. 

“I will never turn down a hug from you.” You said smiling. “But I am better now…” You added. 

“Come here then. Quick hug and then scurry along because we’ve got a wedding to get to.” His voice was happy and light as he pulled you around the corner and into his arms, his eyes closed. The hug was quick but settled all of your remaining nerves and when you pulled away you stretched to press a kiss to his rosy cheeks. As you scurried down the hall you noticed the red splotch on his face and called back. 

“Take a rag to your cheek. I love you!” 

Letting yourself back into your room, you noticed that it was basically cleaned out of everything from getting ready. 

“Better?” Your mom asked though it was clearly visible on your face that you were. 

Nodding you moved to slip your heels on, ready to get the show on the road. Now that you had pushed back all of the excess emotions, you were bouncing in excitement and you couldn’t be told fast enough that it was time to head downstairs. When you got there, you were handed a bouquet of red roses and greenery. From the hallway outside the venue, you could hear music playing and you hugged your mom one more time, wiping at her tears before handing her off to Gabe who was escorting her to her seat.

“He’s gonna lose his mind when he sees you Y/N.” Gabe winked. “You look incredibly beautiful.” 

Cale’s mom was being escorted by Matt Calvert and once both mothers had been taken to their seats, it was time for your bridesmaids to make their way down the aisle. Left alone with just your dad you let out a deep breath. 

“Are you ready for this?” He questioned and you immediately nodded your head. 

“I’ve been ready since the moment I met him.” Wrapping your arm around your dad’s, you took one more steadying breath as the music changed. Then the doors opened again and for a split second your mind took in how beautiful the venue was before you turned and were facing a crowd of smiling faces, Cale all the way at the end. Pacing yourself, you walked toward him, his face the only thing you could really focus on. He was crying, just like he’d said he would, and you blinked back tears of your own. When your dad handed you off, you squeezed Cale’s hand, giggling softly when he murmured to the officiant that he needed a moment. 

Once Cale had pulled himself together, you proceeded, his hand now holding yours more firmly as he stared at you with nothing but affection and love. 

“Today we are gathered here to witness and bless the marriage of Y/N and Cale.” You were half-listening and couldn’t help but focus on Cale as he mouthed a ‘wow’  in your direction. 

“Who has the honor to present Y/N to be married?” Your father answered that he and your mother do and hearing his voice you glanced over at him with a reassuring smile. Moni reached over to take your bouquet from you and with two hands free, you held both of Cale’s, smiling up at him. 

“Now close friends and family tell me that this day was only a matter of time from the moment Y/N and Cale bumped into each other on the campus of the University of Massachusetts Amherst. I’m told that right away both secretly expressed that it was the best first date they’d ever been on and that they could see this relationship being one that lasts.” You could remember your first date like it was yesterday and you remembered even then having never felt like you just clicked with someone the way you did with Cale. 

“Speaking with Cale I can see the amount of love and affection he holds for Y/N. I’m sure most of you are in the loop but Cale is the one that planned this entire thing in order to give Y/N the wedding she always dreamed of but was willing to give up to marry him. His teammates tell me the effort included a lot of time on the phone while on the road and even some missed team dinners.” Some chuckles went up in the crowd from the direction of Cale’s teammates and you smiled because you loved that rowdy bunch so much. 

“And though I haven’t gotten the privilege to speak with Y/N...I can see now in the way she looks at him that all of that love and affection is returned. And while I’m sure that there’s more that could be said about the two people standing in front of me I’m pretty sure they’d both like me to just get on with things.” The whole space filled with laughter and you nodded your head like ‘yeah kinda’ as you continued to smile over at Cale. 

“After speaking with Cale, I searched for a reading that seemed fitting of the relationship with Y/N that he described. In the end, I decided on “Blessing for a Marriage” by James Dillet Freeman.” Your officiant paused before launching into the reading. 

“May your marriage bring you all the exquisite excitements a marriage should bring, and may life grant you also patience, tolerance, and understanding.

May you always need one another — not so much to fill your emptiness as to help you to know your fullness. A mountain needs a valley to be complete. The valley does not make the mountain less, but more.

And the valley is more a valley because it has a mountain towering over it. So let it be with you and you. May you need one another, but not out of weakness. May you want one another, but not out of lack.

May you entice one another, but not compel one another. May you embrace one another, but not out encircle one another. May you succeed in all-important ways with one another, and not fail in the little graces.

May you look for things to praise, often say, “I love you!” and take no notice of small faults. If you have quarrels that push you apart, may both of you hope to have good sense enough to take the first step back.

May you enter into the mystery that is the awareness of one another’s presence — no more physical than spiritual, warm and near when you are side by side, and warm and near when you are in separate rooms or even distant cities.

May you have happiness, and may you find it making one another happy. May you have love, and may you find it loving one another.”

By the end, the feeling of Cale’s fingers brushing patterns on your palm was all you could focus on. Lost in thought, you just watched him until he started speaking. 

“I love you, Y/N(Full). You are my best friend.” Hearing the sound of his voice, you realized that he was repeating after your officiant one sentence at a time. “Today I give myself to you in marriage. I promise to encourage and inspire you, to laugh with you, and to comfort you in times of sorrow and struggle. I promise to love you in good times and in bad, when life seems easy and when it seems hard, when our love is simple, and when it is an effort. I promise to cherish you and to always hold you in the highest regard. These things I give to you today, and all the days of our life.” As he finished, he squeezed your hand and you let out a deep breath. 

Repeating the same vows to Cale you laughed at using his full name ‘Cale Douglas Makar’ and then swallowed down the lump in your throat as you attempted not to cry as you continued. Once you’d shared your vows, your officiant asked for the rings and you watched as Cale’s brother handed them over. 

This time, they started with you and you took Cale’s left hand into yours sliding on his wedding band. 

“With this ring, I thee wed.” You stated confidently. Cale struggled just a bit to slide your ring on and you giggled as he spoke those six life-changing words as well. 

“Well...we’ve made it through the vows, you’ve exchanged rings, so I suppose there’s just one thing left to do.” You officiant declared, causing Cale’s teammates and friends to start hooting and hollering. “By the power vested in me, I now pronounce you husband and wife. Go ahead and kiss your bride.” Your officiant spoke over the cheers and as soon as he finished, Cale’s arms slipped around your waist and he leaned down to kiss you breathless. 

“It is my honor to present to you, Mr. & Mrs. Cale Makar.” Taking your flowers back you walked back down the aisle with Cale, leaning against his chest as he kissed you once you were back in the hall. 

“So this is what I could have seen earlier if I agreed to a first look huh?” He inquired, spinning you around so that he could take in all angles of the dress. 

“Mmhmm.” You agreed, your arm wrapped around his as you smiled up at him contentedly. “But I’m kind of glad you didn’t.” You admitted. 

“Me too.” He clarified. “But you’re so gorgeous.” He murmured, stealing one more kiss. 

While your guests hit the cocktail hour, you, Cale, your immediate families and the wedding party headed to have photos taken. Your jaw ached from smiling, but every time Cale looked at you, you couldn’t help but feel your smile grow. You were his wife. You were going to get to spend the rest of your life with him. 

Thankfully, as your stomach started to growl, the photographer announced that you were done with photos. You had to make a quick detour with Cale to sign the marriage certificate but after that, you returned to the same ballroom following your bridesmaids and groomsmen inside as once again all of your friends and family went nuts. You settled into your personal table with Cale and immediately reached for the glass of water, taking a long sip. As you waited for food to be brought out, you leaned into your husband’s side, your hand resting on his knee. 

“So how did I do?” He whispered in your ear and for the first time you took a true look around the venue. There was a Christmas tree on either end of the room in front of the large windows and every balcony was strung with lit greenery. The tables were draped with white, red, or green cloth and the centerpieces were either red roses or poinsettias. It was absolutely beautiful and screamed Christmas. 

“I’d say this is probably the equivalent of scoring a hattrick.” You replied, pressing a kiss to his jaw. Cale kissed your head in return and the two of you sat watching as your friends and family mingled as food started to come out of the kitchens. Sipping at your wine, you devoured the delicious food quickly, more hungry than you had realized. When your plate was empty you watched as Cale picked his up and used his fork to transfer his mashed potatoes to your plate. 

“I had a heavy breakfast and lunch.” He insisted between bites. “Go ahead I know you’re still hungry.” Nodding, you quickly finished off the additional food your husband had provided you before snuggling back into his side to digest. Now that they had noticed you were finished eating, Cale’s teammates, particularly Gabe and EJ, got obnoxious with the glass taps trying to get you to kiss. You complied the first half dozen times but then just rolled your eyes and glared, enjoying just being tucked into your husband’s side. 

After Cale’s brother gave a speech, your three bridesmaids tag-teamed one, and soon it was time for the first dance. Cale took your hand and led you onto the dance floor as Sam Smith’s version of Have Yourself a Merry Little Christmas began to play. 

“Now you’re just outdoing yourself.” You whispered pecking Cale’s lips as he swayed you back and forth. This...this was everything you had ever dreamed of right here. “And I don’t think I’ve mentioned it but you look very very sexy today.” Almost immediately, Cale’s cheeks took on a deep flush and you giggled running your hands down his chest. “I love how easily I affect you.” You grinned, squealing softly as he dipped you as the song came to a close. 

“You’re a brat.” He mumbled, kissing you again gently before handing you off to your father for the father-daughter dance. Wrapped in your daddy’s arms he asked about you being happy and you couldn’t help it when your smile grew even wider. 

“I’m so so happy.” You assured him. “You know Cale has always been good to me, good for me.” He nodded, agreeing that he knew that but wanting to make sure you knew that you were always his little girl. As you turned slightly, you saw Gabe dancing with Linnea by their table and immediately your brain dashed to the idea of Cale dancing with your daughter someday. You were both young and not ready for kids just yet but sometime in the semi-distant future, you were certain he’d be an amazing dad. Kissing your dad’s cheek as the song ended, you watched Cale drag his mom onto the floor for their dance. While he danced, you stopped to hug your mom before making your way over to Gabe, Mel, and Linnea.  

Immediately Linnea reached for you and though Mel tried to discourage her, you eagerly reached for the toddler. 

“She’s fine Mel.” You insisted. “Thanks for sticking around in town to be here today.” You were sure this was only the first of many times that that phrase would leave your mouth in the next few hours. 

“Like we would have missed it. Cale has been talking about it non-stop for months. We all wanted to see what he was able to pull off.” Gabe smirked. 

“Eh, just his bride’s dream wedding..no big deal.” You declared grinning. 

“Plus now we can all chirp him for months for crying when he saw you,” Gabe added and immediately Mel smacked his head as the two of you in unison responded. 

“No, you will not, Gabriel Landeskog.” Gabe threw his hands up in defense and chuckled softly. The DJ announced that this next dance would start with just the wedding party, then family could join in and by the end everyone else and you bounced Linnea on your hip, looking to where Cale was already working to get Z’s daughter to dance with him. 

“I’m stealing your daughter, you can have her back at the end of this song.” You announced, cooing at Linnea who was enamored with you. Making your way onto the dance floor, you rocked Linnea around, making her laugh. Cale was doing the same with Sophie and when the two of you met up in the middle of the floor you smiled at each other, your shared look communicating the same thing. Someday.

The next few hours were a blur of mingling and dancing, though you certainly did more of the latter while Cale did the former. There were moments that stood out in your head though. First, you remembered how hard you laughed when you introduced Rachel to Andre and saw the expression on his face. You’d threatened him not to break her heart and while you weren’t certain it would be a long term thing, it certainly seemed like they would both at least have a good night tonight. 

Second, you remembered cutting the cake and the rush of heat that ran through you as you licked the icing off of Cale’s fingers as he fed you. You’d both been nice, neither smashing it into the other’s face like Cale’s teammates had been egging you to do all night. Then he’d held you as you shared a full piece making your way from table to table to talk to people that you hadn’t yet. You weren’t so worried about your immediate families, your grandma mentioning that Cale’s family had invited everyone to stay through Christmas to do one big family thing. But teammates, friends, you wanted to make sure you stopped and told each of them how much you appreciated them being here given that it was so close to the holiday. 

Finally, you remembered being pulled onto the dance floor by Matt Calvert. Not only had he and Courtney opened up their home to Cale, but they had also opened it to you, allowing you to spend time with him during a period where everything was changing so quickly that your relationship very easily could have cracked. In addition to that, Courtney had been a lifeline in helping you navigate your way through the life of a better half. 

“You know...when Cale first mentioned you, I had my reservations,” Matt admitted. “But then I met you and I immediately knew it wouldn’t be long before we were standing here. The two of you complement each other so well. I truly don’t think he could have found a better match.” Hugging him, you expressed silently how much those words meant to you. As you continued to dance, you watched Cale with Courtney, his cheeks flushed from alcohol and the day as a whole. To their right, Moni was dancing with Matt Nieto and you giggled to yourself as your eyes went wide. Over by the tables, Josty, who had caught the garter, was chatting up Anne, who had caught your bouquet, making her laugh probably by saying something completely ridiculous because he’d had quite a few drinks today. And though deep down you already knew it, today had proven one thing. You belonged in Cale’s world just as much as he belonged in yours. The two of you just blended seamlessly and it was probably one of the most important reasons as to why it just worked. 

Like your feet had tired hours ago, eventually, the rest of you started to tire as well and you tucked yourself into Cale’s side, leaning against him. 

“Should we make our rounds and say goodnight?” Cale whispered softly in your ear and when you nodded, he started to guide you around the room. Soon, you had said goodnight to pretty much everyone who was left and then Cale grabbed your shoes, walking you up to your suite. 

Popping the door open, Cale lifted you bridal style and carried you over the doorstep, setting you down gently on the bed. 

“Today was perfect, but I’m exhausted.” You breathed, already feeling like you just wanted to melt into the mattress. As much as you wanted to consummate your marriage you just weren’t sure you had the energy. Cale paced around the room for a few minutes and when you finally pulled yourself to sit up, you saw that he had changed into a pair of sweats and a t-shirt and was walking toward you with a makeup wipe in his hand. 

“Let’s just get you ready for bed.” He proclaimed, gently wiping as much of the makeup off of you as he could so that washing your face would be easier. “We have all the time in the world.” He continued. “So let’s just get some sleep and then maybe we can take advantage of that jacuzzi in the morning since checkout isn’t until noon.” 

“I like the sound of that.” You murmured, sitting still as Cale worked to take down your hair so that you could actually sleep on it. When all of that was done he pulled you to your feet, helped you out of your dress, and then into one of his t-shirts. Pulling him close you kissed him, your lips melding together lazily. “I love you. Thanks for everything today.” Your words were muffled against his lips but Cale groaned softly at them all the same. 

“You deserve all of it. I can’t believe you’re my wife.” There was a glint in his eyes that you loved so much and you wrapped your arms around his waist. 

“Believe it buddy...because I fully expect you to make love to me after we get some sleep.” 

“Tomorrow...for the rest of our lives...whatever you want is all yours.” He agreed. 

“How about we start with some cuddles and go from there?” Tucked into Cale’s arms, you felt your body settle and start drifting off to sleep. 

Though you’d received a lot of Christmas presents in life, you were 100% sure that being married to Cale was forever going to be the best Christmas gift you could have ever received. 

#cale makar #cale makar imagine #colorado avalanche #colorado avalanche imagine #nhl imagine #nhl imagines #hockey imagine #hockey imagines #cavalanche #037

[bre-meister]

9 &/or 10 (Dialogue Prompts) for cleon !! TY FOR FEEDING US

9. “I just wish things could have turned out differently between us, you know?” 

Mall trips were always...interesting. Perhaps it stems from the insanity that was his everyday life, but Leon always felt that doing things so mundane like going to the mall was kind of weird? But, weird in a good way. He wasn’t sure exactly how to describe it. D.S.O Agent Leon Kennedy wasn’t sure exactly how to feel about it as he stood surrounded by little tiny onesies and itty bitty tutus and headbands; cribs, strollers, changing tables, and more displayed on top of the shelves reaching up towards the high ceilings of the store. Well, that’s a lie, Leon did know how he felt - awkward, out of place even.

He wasn’t exactly sure why that was the case, especially considering this wasn’t his first rodeo so to speak. Though, last time Claire had done most of the shopping for the smaller things. His preparatory skills were mostly limited to ordering the bigger things online once Claire had picked them out and then assembling them after they had arrived. 

When his wife had asked him to come along this time - mainly to help wrangle little Izzy who had insisted on helping pick out clothes for her new little sister - Leon couldn’t say no. He had nothing else to do on an unnaturally normal Saturday and spending the day with his family sounded like heaven after spending the week doing paperwork. He just hadn’t anticipated the sheer amount of things they actually needed to get. Technically speaking, they should have all of the said items at home from when Isabelle had been little - and they did have some. Some of her baby things had been lost in a move a while back - a two-bedroom apartment in the heart of D.C was great for him and Claire but not necessarily for a little girl. The couple had also given away some things to one of Claire’s co-workers who had needed some baby clothes and such. They truly had not expected to have another child, what with their hectic lifestyle but Leon would be lying if he said he wasn’t extremely excited for the new baby.

So, things having been lost one way or another, they had to replace almost everything; which was fine considering Leon’s paycheck alone was enough for them to live fairly comfortably. Chris was always making snide comments about his “government money”, he might as well put it to good use. Which is how the small family found themselves in the non-descript baby store on an even less notable Saturday afternoon. But, despite coming in with two girls, Leon now found himself alone hence the unnecessarily awkward feelings. Claire and Isabell had stepped out for a short moment to find a bathroom, his pregnant wife needing to go nearly just as bad as their four-year-old. 

“Leon?” a voice called from the doorway of the store that leads out to the mall.

Leon looked up confused, that was the direction that his wife and daughter had disappeared to but that voice sounded nothing like Claire’s. Upon laying eyes on the source of the noise Leon felt his confusion shift to something else.

He hadn’t thought he could feel more awkward but somehow, he managed. Calling his name was a living ghost. Leon didn’t have much time to consider that oxymoron before the blast from his past in the form of an objectively beautiful woman entered the store and made her way towards him.

“Oh my gosh! It is you - Leon Kennedy. What’s it been, like five, six years?”

“Yeah,” Leon swallowed awkwardly, “something like that.” If he remembered correctly, it had been much longer than that.

As if coming to his senses, Leon suddenly realized how rude he was being - a former fling or not, Claire would have scolded him if she saw the way he was behaving now. He chuckled awkwardly to cover up how...awkward he was feeling. Quietly, Leon wished he could think of a word or a feeling that was not “awkward”.

“How have you been, Cindy?” He hoped she didn’t catch the upward lit of his greeting when he got to her name - he wasn’t exactly sure he’d remembered correctly.

“Oh ya know, working, shopping,” she gestured to the bags in her hands, “this and that. I’m good though, how about you?” If she noticed his hesitance at her name she didn’t let it outwardly bother her.

Leon looked around before answering, trying to see if he could spot Claire anywhere - no luck. Apparently, at this moment, Leon was two things: awkward and incredibly unlucky.

“Ya know, work, family, shopping,” he mirrored Cindy both in his statement and bodily actions. Motioning to the pack of baby bottles in his hands that he had been mulling over he hoped that Cindy would take the hint - Leon purposefully having emphasized the word family.

Yet again, if Cindy noticed she didn’t let it deter her. She placed a well-manicured hand on Leon’s bicep, gently squeezing all the while batting her eyes in what he assumed was supposed to be a sultry manner. Not many things could be taken as sultry when surrounded by pacifiers and burping cloths. 

“I was genuinely surprised when I saw you, and in a baby store of all places. Never would have thought of you as the settling down kinda man. Then, I thought that you were probably just shopping for a friend or a family member, ya know like a shower gift or something. I also thought you’d might want some help, ya know, a woman’s touch. So, here I am” 

At that the hand on his arm began to move up and down, those red-colored nails causing involuntary goosebumps to rise on his skin. Apparently, Cindy had been doing a lot of thinking in the last few minutes. Doing some thinking on his own, Leon came to the realization that he’d used to think he loved the color red on a woman. Now, he realizes that he loves the color red on one particular woman. 

Before he could get a word in to stop whatever was happening in its tracks, Cindy started up again. Her attention had shifted to the things on the self in front of him, finally removing her hand from his arm. That didn’t mean that she wasn’t done with her not so subtle come on though.

“Sometimes I just wish things could have turned out differently between us ya know? Maybe this could have been us together, shopping for our own baby,” Cindy let out a small laugh at her own imagined scenario. 

“I don’t.” He said confidently, happy that the awkward had finally made his way out of his system.

Apparently so had the unluckiness because as Cindy looked up at him, a confused frown on her face, any response she was about to formulate was cut short by a tiny body barreling into Leon’s legs.

“Daddy, Mommy and I saw the coolest candy store and she said that if I’m a good girl then we can go after we're done here! Are we done yet?” Isabelle let out, seemingly in one breath.

Leon laughed, both at his daughter's enthusiasm to curb her sweet tooth and at the look on Cindy’s face. He knew it was rude but the genuine shock was just too good to let slip and she was too wrapped up in said shock to notice.

“No baby girl, we are not done yet. Although trust me, I would much rather be in the candy store,” She looked to Leon as she approached, her next words directed towards him, “their chocolate display was pretty impressive.” 

Leon wanted to laugh at his two girls. Instead, he coughed a little, nodding his head discreetly towards Cindy - an action he knew only his wife would notice.

“Oh! I’m so sorry. How rude of me, I'm Claire and you are?”

Cindy had managed to pick up her jaw from where it had fallen on the floor but still seemed to be too stunned to speak.

“Claire, this is Cindy, an old friend of mine. We haven’t seen each other in a while so when she spotted me from the window outside she came in to say hi. Cindy, this is my wife, Claire, and my daughter, Isabelle.”

Isabelle waved shyly from where she had retreated behind her daddy’s leg. Leon felt that was a little odd considering usually Izzy was a boisterous little girl who loved to talk - even to strangers. Perhaps she was tired, or maybe Cindy just rubbed her the wrong way - he’d heard kids were perceptive like that. It certainly didn’t help that Cindy’s face had been akin to a fish what with all the open-mouthed gaping when both girls had returned. 

“It's wonderful to meet you, Claire.” the tone of her voice said that this meeting was anything but wonderful. 

Still, Cindy held out her hand and the two politely shook. Leon couldn’t help but notice Cindy’s gaze falling on Claire’s hand returning to her noticeable bump as they pulled away. What was left of the color in her face drained and at that moment, Leon could tell that the woman made a tactical decision to save whatever was left of her dignity. 

“Well, I just came in to say hi. Leon looked a little lost on his own but now that I see he is not alone I suppose I should continue on my way. I still have a few stores to hit before I can go home. Congrats, by the way.” Cindy motioned towards Claire’s midsection at her baby bump.

“Thanks,” Leon said, in unison with his wife. 

Cindy turned to leave, giving one more awkward smile before she left - funny how the tables had turned in that way. Leon almost felt bad for her. It was obvious by her comment that she was still searching for the peaceful family life that he was forever grateful he’d found with Claire.

 I just wish things could have turned out differently between us ya know?

That one statement carried so much weight. Leon knew that eventually, Cindy would find the one who was right for her, and together they could shop baby necessities until her heart's content. But, as for him, looking at his two girls fawn over pink and purple onesies meant for his soon-to-be girl number three, he couldn’t say he agreed. This is where he was meant to be - with them. 

He knew he’d do anything for them, follow them anywhere. Even, he thought, overpriced, extravagant, mall candy stores. Although he had to admit, Claire wasn’t wrong about the chocolate display, it was pretty impressive.

#Cleon fic #Cleon #CLEON BABY #Leon Kennedy #Claire Redfield #Claire/Leon #resident evil #My writing

[lov3nerdstuff]

Wicked Game {Part 3}

~Professor Hiddleston AU~

*Tom Hiddleston x reader*

Part: 3/?

Words: 4k

Warnings: Professor x student (college AU)

Summary: After transferring to a new university for the last year of your master's, you meet Professor Hiddleston and soon find yourself unable to stay away from him.

A.N.: I really suck at summaries, I'm so sorry 😅 this is a slow burn romance with lots of pining 💗 so this is where things get really interesting!!! I've currently finished chapter 5 already and I honestly can't wait for y'all to sit squealing on the edge of your seats haha

[Part 1] [Part 2] [Part 3]

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It was Tuesday, another day with another Hiddleston class. That was your first thought when you woke up two hours before your alarm, groaning and tired. After admitting to yourself last night that you were indeed crushing on your professor, you had hardly been able to sleep at all. Even if you'd never have any kind of relationship with him outside of an entire professional one, you still felt like the past four weeks were heavy weight on your heart. You needed to talk to him, if only to apologise for whatever you'd done wrong in that first week. However you saw that there were limited ways to actually do that without making the awkwardness between you even worse. For a moment you were tempted to buy him coffee once again, but quickly dismissed the idea. Maybe you could try to stay after class and talk to him… but then you'd be a small spark in the raging fiery pool of girls, desperate for his attention. An email? That seemed a little bit impersonal, even for your weird whatever-it-was. So you settled for a small note that you'd drop in his office before class. Rolling out of bed (despite it being so fucking early, dark and cold) you wrapped yourself in your blanket like a burrito and sat down at your desk. You wouldn't use any of your fancy paper or pens, that would've been a bit too much, but a plain white sheet and a plain black pen would do.

Dear Mr. Hiddleston.

I couldn't help but notice how, over the past weeks, things have been weird between us and I hate it and I want you to be nice again because I'm heavily crushing on you and this is fucking stupid.

You groaned and hit your head against the tabletop. That wouldn't work, not at all. You needed to talk to him, before class, even if it was only to briefly get your apology out. If things remained weird after that, at least you couldn't blame yourself for not trying to better thing between you. But you also wanted to do more than say sorry, you wanted to make him smile, to see him happy like on the first day you had met. So you got out another piece of paper and aimed for something entirely different...

After taking a long and hot shower, you got dressed in something cute and comfortable, did your hair with a little more effort than usual and packed your bag for the long day ahead, hiding your little letter between a stack of books.

"Hey Y/n…" Your roommate came sauntering out of his room into the hallway and you could already tell that this day had just taken a turn for the worse. "Uhm, I have this thing going on tonight and… well, I don't think it's gonna be a good place for a… woman." He mumbled, not even brave enough to look you in the eye.

"You do realize that this is also my apartment and I pay more rent than you do?" You groaned, crossing your arms in front of your chest. This was not the time to deal with the fundamental problems of your housing, but obviously he was being serious about that.

"I know, I know… but please, Y/n, it's really important. Can't you stay with a friend for the night?" He whined, walking too close to you for your liking.

"I'm sure I will be fine in my room tonight." You replied defensively, backing up against the still closed front door.

"Those guys… you know, who always hang here… they saw you in that little dress you wore last night and well..." He insisted. "They always get what they want, you must know that!"

As you frowned deeply at him, he continued.

"Look, I'm just trying to look out for you. You really really really don't wanna be here tonight."

"Stop inviting people who want to harm me then!" You shouted, definitely not in the mood for this conversation. He was a fucking creep and you seriously considered getting into debt just to get away from here.

"I didn't invite them! They…" He started shaking a little. "I kinda owe them a little for… stuff. I beg of you Y/n to stay gone for just one night. Then I promise they won't ever come back."

"Not ever?" You asked roughly. "No more destruction, no more shouting, no more shadowy business?"

"I promise!" He stood straight and looked more or less serious about this.

With a groan you returned to your room, grabbed all valuables you could stuff into your backpack (it weren't many for you'd always feared 'someone' would steal them), along with your materials for tomorrow's studies and then locked the door from the outside.

"I swear I'll call the cops if those guys ever come back. Or if anyone enters my room." You grumbled as you pushed past your roommate, repeatedly asking yourself why exactly you were doing him this favor.

"Thank you Y/n, I owe you!" He called after you as you stepped outside into the chilly morning air.

"Big time!" You called back, making your way to the Metro station. Only when you were starting to get uncomfortably cold, you realized that in the heat of the argument you had completely forgotten to put on your coat. With a sigh you decided that you wouldn't be outside for long anyway and just hurried even more on your way to uni.

After a short debate with your bank account you got yourself a large coffee before heading to campus. It was still super early and you hoped that Hiddleston wouldn't be there so you could still get stuff done before he arrived. Unsure if it was the right thing to do, you slipped into his office unnoticed, placed the letter on his desk and made your way to the lecture hall as quickly as possible to have some more alone time to relax before the madness of the day would start.

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When Tom got out of his car, he quickly debated whether or not he needed a jacket for the short way to his office. Deciding against it, he only took a few steps before someone called out to him.

"Hey Tom!" His friend Benedict shouted from over at his car.

"Morning…" Tom sighed, slinging his bag around his shoulders.

"What's got you so moody?" He inquired as he joined Tom in his walk towards the building.

"Nothing I want to talk about, Ben…"

"Oh, come on! Is it the freshman class? I told you those…"

"No, it's not the freshmen!" Tom rolled his eyes and glared at his friend for making him talk. "I… have issues with a student."

Now it was Benedict's turn to roll his eyes. "Oh don't tell me it still gets you all upset when you have to give people a bad grade. That happens all the time!"

"No, it's not about the grades." He sighed, digging his hands into his pockets.

"Is it those girls who appear seemingly out of nowhere to stalk you? We've talked about that before, it happens to me, too, all the time…" He talked on and on and Tom didn't know if he should laugh at his rambling or punch him in the shoulder.

"Just let it go. Please, Ben, I don't want to talk about it right now."

Benedict shrugged. "If you say so… but I'm here if you want to talk."

"Thanks…" Tom said as they walked through the main door, enjoying the warmth that surrounded him here in the hallway.

"Good morning! Mr. Hiddleston, Mr. Cumberbatch…" A female student squealed at them out of nowhere, making both men jump. To their luck, she walked away as quickly as she had appeared.

"Does this get worse every single day or is it just me?" Tom asked his friend as they continued their way to the faculty's tower.

"I think you're just having a bad day."

"More like a bad month."

"Is that when your 'issues' started? A month ago? But that was…"

"Yeah. First day of classes." Tom ran a hand through his hair and turned to Benedict sharply. "If you must know, I'm having a really, REALLY hard time not doing something incredibly stupid and it's slowly eating me up from the inside. Are you happy now?"

Benedict just stared at his friend in surprise, for Tom was the last person who would ever snap at him.

"I'm sorry, I didn't mean to… well." Tom apologized immediately, sounding more like himself again.

"It's fine. Maybe you should try to get your issues with the student sorted out, even if it's annoying. Talk to them, today if you can. I can't have my best friend walking around looking like he might murder someone soon." Benedict gave him an encouraging smile once they reached his office, then he disappeared behind a stack of books on his desk.

Already feeling a little better, Tom made his way to his own office. Ben was right, he needed to do something about this mood he had fallen into. After all, he enjoyed his work and he enjoyed teaching. And that meant he would have to talk to you. Soon.

When he walked into his office, it took him a moment to shake off the gloom of the morning, but the prospect of talking to you today got his heart beating and the corners of his lips twisting upwards. Once he finally sat down behind his desk, he spotted a neatly folded piece of paper on pile of books. Frowning, he unfolded it and started to read.

I wish I wrote the way I thought; obsessively, incessantly, with maddening hunger. I'd write to the point of suffocation. I'd write myself into nervous breakdowns, manuscripts spiraling out like tentacles into abysmal nothing. And I'd write about you a lot more than I should. - Benedict Smith

For a long while Tom stared at the little piece of paper and the neat handwriting. He had read that quote before and thought that it held a lot of truth in it. If we would just write straight out what we thought instead of censoring ourselves, we would reach a deeper level of authenticity, and of understanding for literature. Whoever had placed this little quote here in his office must've known that he would appreciate it; probably one of his colleagues after he'd left last night. It wasn't really important who sent it, but that it made Tom smile. In fact, he was still smiling when he walked to the lecture hall for his literature class. Before he could even open the door, he already heard a quiet voice singing inside and his stomach started doing backflips. But he had wanted to talk to you and he would do it.

"Good morning." He announced his presence as he stepped into the room, his voice a little hoarse. You jumped, making him bite his bottom lip to suppress the smirk that wanted to force its way through his barriers.

"Good morning professor!" You replied in a voice that sounded just as nervous as he felt. "I'm sorry about my singing, again…"

"And again I say don't worry about it." He smiled at you politely. "I enjoy the song. Very much so. Wicked Game… it's one of my favorites."

"Oh…" You looked at the books in front of you and Tom asked himself why on earth he had to keep making you uncomfortable all the time.

"Uhm… Miss L/n…" He started, unsure of how to put into words what he needed to get out. "Would you… would you be so kind and help me put these papers on everyone's tables?"

"Of course!" Your reply came quickly and he couldn't help but genuinely smile as you tried to climb out of the tower of books you had built around yourself.

"I wanted to talk to you anyway, Mr. Hiddleston…" You said as he handed you a stack of paper. "I… I'm not sure what I have done wrong during the first week of class, but since then I feel like I'm on your bad side. And I would very much like to change that. I'm very sorry if I have overstepped my boundaries or been disrespectful."

When Tom looked at you, standing right in front of him with eyes so sad that he could drown in your unshed tears, he felt his heart break a little. His eyes went wide in surprise and regret and he couldn't blame himself more for your sadness. Yet, he found himself at a loss for words once again, opening and closing his lips like a fish stranded at the shore.

"You… you have done absolutely nothing wrong, I'm so sorry that I made you think that." He finally got out and saw you visibly relax in front of him. He, however, still felt miserable and it showed.

"Are you alright?" You asked, looking concerned. "Did I say something wrong?"

"No!" His reply came too quickly and his mouth felt utterly dry. "I… I'm sorry, I've had a rough month. If I made you feel uncomfortable or unappreciated… in class, I dearly apologize for doing so."

You let out a long breath, looking at the papers in your arms, then back at Tom with a small smile. "Thank you, professor. This was kind of really important to me, I absolutely love your classes and it was…" You stopped mid-sentence, looking away from him.

"Please do go on." He smiled at you, a sincere and curious smile and he watched you blush adorably.

"Well, it's just… I tried so hard to be good enough that I got quite far ahead." You bit your bottom lip and peaked up at him through your lashes.

"What's so bad about that?" He leaned his head to one side and kept smiling at you, unable to stop now that he knew that you weren't, in fact, mad at him.

"It's bad because I'm having a really hard time not interrupting you from time to time to throw in some new info that I read about." You laughed nervously. "I… kinda wanted to impress you."

Now it was for Tom to blush, he could feel the heat on his cheeks even before it became visible. At the same time however, a cold shudder ran from the top of his head right to his core.

"Well…" He smiled, which turned into more of a nervous laugh. From the red on your cheeks and the tiny smile on your face he could tell that you felt equally… hopeful about this conversation. "You already are the best student in any of my classes, that's for sure." He said. "And I would love to hear your opinion on the topics."

If he wasn't completely mistaken, there was a hopeful glimmer in your eyes, a spark of certainty and excitement that made him continue. "If… if you'd want that, you could… uhm… write down whatever you want to say in class, and whatever comes to your mind about the topics and give those notes to me at the end of class. I'll read over it and make my own comments, then pass it back to you and so forth."

Tom didn't know if he had just made his life easier or way more difficult, but when he looked at you positively beaming at him, he couldn't help but smile.

"I would love that." You replied with a huge smile of your own.

"You could call it extra credit, if you want…" He let out a breathy laugh and ran a hand through his already messed up hair.

"Nah, I don't want any credit for it." You grinned. "I'm just trying to learn."

"Not that you would need it anyway." Tom smiled back at you and after another minute of just being flustered and observing each other, he finally tore himself away from your captivating presence to pass out the papers before the rest of the class would take their seats. You did the same, humming quietly, but Tom could hear it nonetheless. As he placed paper upon paper on the tables his eyes kept darting between you and the task at hand. He felt like a giddy school boy, all tingly on the inside, but he forced his body and mind to calm down. He had wanted to ask you to discuss your opinions over coffee after the lecture, but fortunately he had realized soon enough that going out for coffee in the middle of the day would've been a bit too much. The idea with interchanging notes was both appropriate for a professional relationship and a good way to get to know you. Maybe, this arrangement would finally allow him to walk the thin line between his desire for you and his attempt to keep said desire to himself. However, your encounter today had also shown him that you wanted his attention, even if only on an academic level. And that you were by no means opposed to out-of-class time together. For a single day and after a whole month of pining on his part this was absolutely fabulous. So he didn't stretch his luck and went to prepare for his lecture.

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You couldn't believe your luck when you sat back down in your chair, hiding your huge grin by sipping on your water. Talking to him had been such a good idea, and even if it had only made you fall for him so much more, you could at least be sure now that he wasn't mad at you. And he was willing to hear about your thoughts of the topics. That was so much more than you had hoped for, and yet so much less than you had dreamed of. Digging through your backpack, you pulled out a journal that only had the first few pages filled. Those you ripped out carefully and done: you had a place to take notes for Hiddleston.

With a loud slump, Sky sat down next to you and immediately started talking.

"Y/n, you won't believe what just happened!" She sighed while the other students started to take their seats.

You could see Hiddleston grinning to himself, before you turned your head towards your friend. "Try me." You chuckled and rested your head in your hands while listening.

"Woah, what's the good mood about?" She asked with exaggerated surprise.

"You go first! What happened that is so incredible?" You laughed at her and poked her in the shoulder with one finger.

"I know I said I'm not into dating and stuff… but there's this amazing person and they… asked me out. I said yes, can you believe that! We're going for dinner tonight." Sky grinned at you and seemed genuinely excited.

You couldn't help but grin in return. "That's amazing! A nice boy, or girl, or whoever, will do you good."

"They don't label themself and I won't either. I'm cool with that." She shrugged. "I'm just really excited."

"Yeah I get that!" You laughed. "I wish you good luck with them and a very nice evening."

"Thank you!" Sky sighed and bit her lip. "Uhm… I know that's a really stupid thing to ask of you, but I'm kinda super broke at the moment and also kinda super hungry…"

You rolled your eyes with a smile. "I can buy you lunch after the lecture."

"Oh you're the absolute best Y/n! I'll pay you back, I promise!" She pulled you into a tight hug and you let it happen with a smile. Hopefully you still had enough cash to buy lunch for two…

"Alright, good morning everyone!" Mr. Hiddleston said loudly to get everyone's attention. "Let's get started on today's topic."

With a smile, you turned towards the front and started your written commentary of the lecture.

"What are you doing?" Sky whispered to you once she noticed that you weren't taking notes of what your professor said, but instead writing down little snippets of information or thoughts.

"... Extra credit?" You mused, only partially happy with your answer.

"Is that why you seem so happy?" She grinned. "Because you talked to our handsome puppy down there?" She motioned toward Hiddleston with her head.

You let out a way too loud snort at her words, which made a few people turn their heads towards you, but Sky didn't seem to mind. "Actually… Yeah, Hiddleston seems so much happier than usual. You did talk to him didn't you!" Sky playfully punched you in the shoulder. "Asked him out on a date yet?"

"Sky!" You hissed, blushing bright red. "He's a professor! Stop those wicked comments…"

"But you can't seriously tell me anymore that you're not crushing on him. C'mon Y/n! You're practically undressing him with your eyes!"

"Stop it! I'm not!" You tried to keep your voice down as much as possible. When Sky looked at you with an who-are-you-kidding expression, you rolled your eyes. "Alright, I… I kinda might have a little crush on him, okay? Can you shut up now?"

Sky pretend to zip her lips closed and you could finally focus back on the lecture.

After class was over and everyone was packing their bags, you thought about it for a second and then added can't wait to hear your thoughts :) to your notes. Then you flipped the journal shut, sealed it with the weird elastic that was attached to it and grabbed your stuff.

"You coming?" Sky asked as she made for the exit.

"Gimme a sec, I gotta talk to Hiddleston." You replied and ignored the knowing grin that Sky shot your way.

You kept your eyes fixed on him as you pushed your way through the usual crowd of girls and when you reached the very front, a few of them even started protesting and elbowing you in the ribs.

Once he noticed you, he simply ignored the babbling girl he was forced to listen to before and you could see the despair in his eyes.

"Uhm, professor, I… we have to go to this… meeting… with the board, immediately, you remember…?" You said loudly and motioned towards the door, hoping he would catch on.

And he did, after a mere second of doubt. "Ah, yes! How could I forget that!" He replied, grabbed his bag in an instant and started making his way through the crowd, following closely behind you. "I'm very sorry, but you all will have to come to my office hours or send an email if you want your questions answered." He called over his shoulder at the irritated girls, while he rushed towards the exit with you. At the door, you grabbed Sky by the arm and lead your group of three around the next corner before finally slowing down.

"What on earth was that?" Sky laughed, looking at you, then at Mr. Hiddleston.

"That, Miss Monroe, was a brilliant save in the last second." He replied with a chuckle. "Miss L/n here saved me a good thirty minutes of meaningless questions from attention seeking students."

You held out the journal to him and grinned. "Did it for utterly selfish reasons. I didn't want to wait to hand this in."

He took the black notebook from you and held it tightly again his chest. "Thank you nonetheless." With another smile he bowed ever so slightly, making Sky giggle.

"Have a nice day, you two." He said then and walked a few steps down the hallway, before turning around once again. "Oh, and Y/n! I'll let you know when you can pick up the notebook." With that and a huge grin, he made his way towards his office, rounding a corner and then he was out of sight.

"Oh well, that was something…" Sky laughed, starting into the opposite direction to head to the cafeteria.

You however remained frozen to the spot, staring after your professor.

"Y/n? Are you okay?" Sky asked with concern once she noticed that you weren't coming.

"He…" You frowned, feeling hot and cold, numb and very much alive at the same time. "He just used my first name…"

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General Tags:

@its-remy-not-ratatouille @wegingerangelica @thidls12333

Wicked Game Tags:

@just-the-hiddles @inmyworstlies @lotus-eyedindiangoddess @foodthatsgoodforyoursoul @jessalynjones1989 @dark-night-sky-99 @hiddles-lobotomy @shockwavee @laudylovesyou @maze-lt101 @cupcakeangelness @fairlightswiftly @lys-syl @ordinarygirlfromasmalltown @pinkzz123 @spookycatqueen @exygon @izzy10718 @jenna-sakura @hiddlescastle @starklymydear @darkprincessloki92 @kinghiddlestonanddixon @alt-er-love-er-alt @timetraveler1978 @dreary-skies-stuff @daddys-littlewhitegirl @justthatfangirloverthere @lucantis @missvilsana

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[uncloseted]

i've done three kinda stupid and unhealthy/ not good for me things. i can rank them all. 1st is going on my laptop/ phone and watching youtube videos before falling asleep, which is really bad for your brain and health. 2nd is doing some rated r type stuff on Omegle w/ a guy when i'm a gay girl and then giving him my number because i didn't want to make him mad by saying no. i got myself into this one.

(3 things anon) 3rd is being a new yet casual ARMY member of Kpop group BTS. It started from my Korea-boo mother who would play their songs constantly, then I noticed how much talent they had compared to western groups, how they're songs really hit and helped me w/ personal middle school trauma and how one member in particular, i felt attracted to even though i'm gay (he has that effect). it isn't unhealthy but it's been sometimes keeping me at at night just thinking about them/the one idol i

(3 things anon) i have bias for & trying to think of other things/ other songs to distract myself. What are some tips to stop doing 1), solve 2) & make 3) a little better?

hey this this the 3things anon, the most important thing that i would be happy you answered is that i'm really trying hard to not use my laptop before bed but it's really hard not to and it's helps me fall asleep. even though i love sleeping i get this sort of like mental panic of what if i fall asleep and don't wake up ever again?

So I think these are three really separate things to discuss and I want to go through them one by one rather than all together.

Starting with the laptop and phone before bed, it sounds like you have some sleep related anxiety that you need to work through in order to really solve this problem.  Existential anxiety is a pretty common part of the human experience, especially before sleep, and especially now when we’re confronted with the concept of mortality much more frequently than we usually are.  How you deal with that anxiety is deeply personal and something I don’t feel like I can really speak to, since it’s often related to personal spiritual or religious beliefs.  That said, improving your sleep hygiene may help to make the sleep process easier:

Be consistent. Go to sleep and wake up at the same time every day, including weekends.  This will help to adjust your body’s schedule.  If you’re having trouble going to sleep earlier at first, using a supplement like melatonin may help you reset your system.

Make sure your bedroom is conducive to sleep.  A quiet, dark, cool bedroom is important for quality sleep.  Consider getting ear plugs, a face mask, blackout curtains for you windows, and/or a weighted blanket.

Avoid large meals, citrus fruits, spicy food, fatty or fried food, caffeine, and alcohol before bedtime.

Work on your health in other aspects of your life.  Having good nutrition and getting regular exercise can help to improve your quality of sleep.

If you’re going to nap, limit napping to 30 minutes or less, once a day, before 5pm.

Make sure you get adequate exposure to sunlight.  Your body’s internal clock can get off track if you’re spending too much time inside.  Along with that, it can help to dim your lights indoors when it gets dark out.

Have a regular bedtime routine.  Limit your exposure to your phone, computer, video games and TV for at least an hour before bed, since they’re stimulating and can keep your mind active.  Instead take a hot shower, do a nighttime skincare routine, read a book, meditate/practice relaxation exercises, etc.

Put your phone out of reach when you’re in bed, and put it on Do Not Disturb mode to block notifications that might wake you up during the night.

If you’re not asleep after 20 minutes, get out of bed, go to another room, and do something relaxing, like reading or listening to music until you are tired enough to sleep.

Turn your clock’s face away from you, if you have one in your room at all. Staring at a clock when you are trying to fall asleep or when you wake in the middle of the night can actually increase stress, making it harder to fall asleep.

If your anxiety is keeping you up at night, write your thoughts down before you go to sleep.  Getting them out will prevent them from circling in your head while you’re trying to sleep.

Try to only use your bed for sleeping.  Do “daytime activities” in other areas of your room/apartment/house.

Try specific sleep techniques: Relax the muscles in your face, including tongue, jaw and the muscles around the eyes. Then drop your shoulders as far down as they’ll go, followed by your upper and lower arm, one side at a time. Breathe out, relaxing your chest followed by your legs, starting from the thighs and working down. You should then spend 10 seconds trying to clear your mind before thinking about one of the three following images: You’re lying in a canoe on a calm lake with nothing but a clear blue sky above you. You’re lying in a black velvet hammock in a pitch-black room. You say “don’t think, don’t think, don’t think” to yourself over and over for about 10 seconds. 

If you try all of these tactics for a while and nothing is working, it may also help to see your primary care doctor or psychiatrist to get a short-term prescription for a sleep aid. 

In terms of the computer and phone specifically, I don’t think it’s as big of a deal as you’re imagining.  The issue isn’t with the technology itself, but rather that your phone and computer are built to be intellectually engaging and so that can prevent you from falling asleep.  While blue light from the LEDs in your phone may confuse your circadian rhythm slightly, that applies to all LEDs, including the lightbulbs you have in your house, the TV, and light lights.  Turning on “night shift” mode greatly lessens the effect that the light might have on your melatonin production.  If you’re just watching normal YouTube videos before going to sleep, I would recommend switching to less intellectually stimulating, soothing content, like ASMR videos, and then to try and transition to audio-only content that’s designed specifically for sleep.

Moving to K-Pop, I’m not concerned about this one.  I think you’ve found something that makes you happy and helps you to cope with difficult experiences in your past, and I don’t think there’s anything wrong with that.  The issue here mostly seems like it’s interrupting your sleep, so fixing your sleep habits should help to fix that, too.

Lastly, the Omegle situation- I think the most important thing here is to understand what you feel like you’re getting from that type of interaction and why you do it even though you’re not sexually attracted to the person.  Once you have an idea of what’s motivating you, you can try to figure out other ways to fulfill that same need in a way that’s safer for you.

[yandere-society]

Watching over you while you sleep? Any member. -A

Under His Microscope

Warnings; Yandere, stalker, extreme lack of boundaries, scent kink??  idk if that’s a thing…

Words; 1.2k

“I would like to be the air that inhabits you for a moment only.  I would like to be that unnoticed and that necessary.”  

You were his favorite film. 

He yearned for photographic memory if it meant that he could recall every still frame movement of yours.  To burn it into his cerebrum and engrain it into his very dna. To study your little ticks and habits even long after he shared presence with you.  His own film projector within the depths of his mind’s eye that never failed to fascinate him. 

As if suddenly parched, his pink tongue peeked out to run over his chapped but plush lips.  He shifted his weight to lean against the wall a bit more dependently, the prolonged period of standing ultra still having taken a toll on his legs.  

Though agile and careful, he didn’t quite calculate the sound of his jeans rubbing against the wall and producing a quiet noise.  It wasn’t loud by any means.  But in the fragile silence that was easily overwhelmed by any slight sound above a few octaves, it was heard loud and clear.   

 In a chain of events that caused his heart to drop, you began to shift in our sleep.  Unconsciously reacting to the foreign intrusion of peace in the bed a few feet away from him.  You released a moan through puckered lips and furiously flipped over to bury your head deeper into your pillow. 

 Whilst this was happening, Yoongi held his breath and immediately froze. It wasn’t until his feline-like eyes watched your body melt back into the mattress with ease, that he allowed his screaming lungs to breath once again. 

 Only until he was absolutely positive that you were deep within rem cycle, did Yoongi dare stalk forward to retrieve a closer viewing. 

 The very shapes and angles of your form was something Yoongi had committed to memory.  He knew and worshiped every dip and crevice of your body. Your very being an oasis for his starved senses. Yet the full glory of it was always being kept away from him by flimsy clothing.  A mirage of what he could have, but doesn’t. It was tragic in all honesty, to be given a slice of nirvana but never getting enough to reach minimum satisfaction. Yoongi was left always itching for his next fix.  On his little nightly visits, Yoongi was always pushing and pushing for other ways to get said fix. 

 He had only started watching you sleep about a month ago.  He knew of your address for a couple months now, but only very recently was he ballsy enough to enter your room through a window to study you. Free from any limitation as the fear of you catching onto him was eliminated. 

 It started to get progressively worse. 

 His thirst for you, that is.  It was almost more real than his actual human needs.

One week, he went three days without eating. He didn’t even notice it until he nearly fainted while trying to climb up your window that he had been neglecting his needs.  Due to this incident, Yoongi now has alarms set up on his phone to remind him of when to take care of himself (eating, sleeping, water, showering ect). He couldn’t risk something happening to him before getting to fully be with you like he was meant to. 

 On one of his earliest visits, Yoongi was startled by how enthralled he was by watching you sleep.  It wasn’t as if he found the action in itself to be spectacular.  It was easily deduced that it was because it was you sleeping that he was so magnetized.  And like that, little things snowballed into an odd obsession of observing your rest.  

When you’d utter something in your sleep that made no sense.  (His favorite line being “My waffles are horny~”)

How you’d drool childishly, a stream of it hanging from side of your plump lips. 

How some nights you were more active and violent, kicking and punching an unseen person by thrashing crazily in bed.  

How you never seemed to be able to decipher if you were hot or cold.  One minute, ripping the blankets away. The next, wrapping yourself within their warm hold once again.  

His favorite though?

  When you had nightmares. 

 Although he hated it when his baby was scared, he couldn’t deny the sick glee he got when he heard your adorably pathetic whimpers.  God, it was his favorite symphony.  

The first time you had a nightmare on one of his visits, Yoongi watched like an eager tourist as your face scrunched up in a puppy-like fear.  It was too adorable for Yoongi to not want to see again.

  He slipped his phone out and carefully captured your face, being sure his flash and ringer were off. 

 That photo ended up being the first of many, Yoongi finding a new hobby of trying to catch the best expressions and positions he could.  He had to be careful with who had access to his device, your sleeping faces were both his lock and home screen.

 It wasn’t until Yoongi began to tear his eyes away from you, that he became more aware of his surroundings.  There was perhaps no better grounds for getting to know someone than inspecting their room with great focus.  Yoongi began to investigate your tiny bedroom, noting the little trinkets and signs of living with fond amusement.  Evidence for your hobbies were spread all over, Yoongi was quick to pick up on your love for (subject) and he must say he admired your dedication. 

 But it was in this period of trying to get to know the person behind the goddess that Yoongi came across his newest addictive tendency. 

Your hamper.  

Filled to the brim with used clothes that were waiting for their turn at laundry day.  

He felt like a sicko, but he couldn’t help it. 

 Like some demented vulture, he snatched a shirt from the pile and pressed it to his face.  And breathed in.  

The smell was syrupy like candy but held an underlining of musk that is expected from any mammal.  It was in no way gross though, your natural odor being something that was oddly sugary and delightful to Yoongi.  If he could make a candle out of it he would.

 Now everytime he visited, he was sure to sniff at a shirt or sweater.  He never dared touch your underwear however.  In some odd twist of logic, Yoongi perceived that as being intrusive to your boundaries.  Not keeping in mind that he was technically breaking in, but who cared about pesky details like that?  

Yoongi sighed and pulled out his phone to check the time, huffing with disappointment at the lateness of the hour.  He had to leave.

But before he did that, he elaborately tip-toed to the hamper. 

 He needed his fix.

He reached down and plucked out a tank-top before practically shoving his face into the fabric.  

He inhaled. 

Inhaled.  And inhaled. 

Never exhaling. 

He wished to ingest every molecule of you.  As if he thought that if he absorbed enough, you would permanently become a part of him.  Hungirly lapping at whatever leftover trace he could get of you. Yoongi would breathe in the blessed clothing until his lungs and nostrils would hum and sting with a vengeance for oxygen.  Only then would he pull away.  

After the ill deed was finished with, Yoongi swiftly made his way over to your window.  He looked back at you, to capture a last lick of his drug before he would flee into the inky black night. 

His addiction was never satisfied. 

That’s why he made a mental note to bring restraints next time he visited. 

A man’s patience can only go so far. 

And you had a tendency to get violent in your sleep, anyway.

He couldn’t imagine the hell you would raise when you were conscious.

(Lmao this is kinda bad pls forgive me.  Anyway, pls send in anymore requests and this is chinkbihh, 🔮signing off.)

#yandere bts #yandere #yandere yoongi #min yoongi #yandere kpop #bangtan boys #bts suga #suga #bts yoongi #agust d #one shot #horror #suspense #creepy #dark #obsession #admin chinkbihh

[selfmademen]

Top Surgery Experience

Okay, so I said I would do a write up of my top surgery experience and I’ve finally gotten around to it. Uni started right after so I’ve been fairly frazzled.

Please feel free to ask any questions you may have! I’ll do my best to answer them.

To start with, I currently live in NSW, Australia. There are a few Australian top surgeons, but as a NSW resident my best bet was Dr Steven Merten, with Pure Aesthetics in Sydney. Because Australia has a public healthcare system I was able to get my top surgery under that scheme. As far as I’m aware Dr Merten is the only top surgeon who offers this surgery through the public system. He works in partnership with Concord Hospital in Sydney, and that’s where I had my surgery. If you go privately there are other options for the hospital you stay at. There are pros and cons to the public system, which I’ll detail below.

Pros:

I paid $500~ out of pocket instead of between $5k and $10k (if you have private health insurance it may cover some)

Since he’s in my state I didn’t have to travel far

He’s one of the most experienced top surgeons in the state

there’s two places for appointments, either at his clinic or at the Macquarie uni rooms

Cons:

because I went publicly he didn’t perform the surgery personally, rather a registrar did. However, he was in the room the entire time overseeing the operation.

because he’s so popular I had to wait a full year from the first consultation to the actual surgery date

 it was extremely hard to get onto the wait list due to how popular he is.

the public system is only available to NSW residents over 18

I was lucky in that my GP at the time knew him professionally and called in a favour so that I knew the moment his books were open, and I am forever grateful for that. It is MUCH easier to get an appointment with him through the private system, but that’s a lot more expensive. For me, the pros far outweighed the cons here, and I decided I could wait a year for my surgery. I had also intended to lose weight beforehand, but that didn’t happen. Woops.

Prior to my first consultation I needed a referral both from my GP, and a registered psychologist or psychiatrist detailing my transition and documented dysphoria surrounding my breasts. The first consultation was $300 iirc, and I paid a $100 deposit, so only paid $200 on the day. Medicare also gave me a $100-something rebate.

The first consultation was fairly quick. He asked some questions about my transition, what my expectations were regarding surgery, detailed my options, and explained the procedures. He measured my breasts, but never touched me (I kinda just picked them up and moved them where he asked). He also took a photo of my chest, with my consent.

I didn’t actually hear from them until about three months before my surgery because my details got lost, but USUALLY the hospital will get in contact with you regarding your surgery date, what you should expect, and when your pre-op consultation is. I also had to fill out a pre-op health questionnaire and personal details. Due to my high level of haemoglobin as a side effect of T, I was required to provide them with more recent blood test results, but you may not have to do this. Usually there is also a pre-op appointment with the nurses and anethetist at the hospital, but the nurse I spoke to said that I didn’t need to go if I didn’t have any pressing concerns.

My pre-op consult with Dr Merten was a couple of weeks before my surgery, however, it’s usually around the same time. This one was $100, and I also had to pay $130 for a medical compression vest which I have to wear for up to three weeks post-op. Again, Medicare partially reimbursed my consultation fee, but not the vest.

During this consultation we basically covered the same things, and I also saw a nurse who told me what medications to avoid, and briefed me on post op care. She also gave me my medical vest, wound tape, and some pamphlets.

Some things she covered:

smokers should stop smoking 12 weeks before surgery

 you should limit your alcohol intake the week before surgery, and don’t drink alcohol AT ALL during the two days immediately prior to surgery

no herbal medications, asparin, ibuprofen, or other blood thinners for two weeks prior to surgery. IF YOU ARE ON BLOOD THINNERS FOR MEDICAL REASONS THIS MAY BE DIFFERENT FOR YOU.

do not eat or drink anything from midnight the night before your surgery. Morning medication (antidepressants in my case) can be taken with a sip of water.

 the night before and morning of surgery I had to shower with a special soap that was provided in order to kill bacteria on my skin.

I did have to call the admissions centre the day before my surgery to confirm my appointment time. For me it was 8:30. Before going in I had a brief interview with a nurse, who took down my details and checked me for allergies and medical conditions. I was given my wrist bands (red, since I have a codeine allergy), and directed up to where I would meet the nurses. There I changed into the operating gown (you can keep your undies on) and compression socks due to my weight.

I was taken to a prep room before the operating theatre where Dr Merten marked my chest. Basically where things would be cut, lipo’d, etc. I was feeling nervous so the anethetist also came in, did my canula and gave me something to relax (don’t know what it was). He was extremely kind and friendly, and said he was honoured to be included in this part of my journey, which I honestly thought was an incredibly sweet thing to say, and I’m very grateful for how he looked after me.

The relaxation shit kinda made me dopey, and pretty much immediately I was wheeled into the theatre. They had me wriggle from the bed onto the table, I nearly fell off, but it was all good. I don’t really remember much from here, but there was some music playing, and the nurses and registrar were setting up.

At this point the anethetist put the mask on and told me to take some deep breaths. I remember it tasting and smelling really weird, and the next thing I know I was waking up in recovery.

I’m not sure how long I was in recovery for because I kept drifting in and out, but they gave me something for the pain and then wheeled me to the ward. I started waking up properly around this time, had a chat with the people transporting me, and by the time I was in the ward I was fully alert (and really needed to pee).

Because of my size and the way the surgery worked out, I did have a few staples at the ends of my incisions, and I also had to put the compression vest on. I also had drains, with bags that needed to be changed every twelve hours. Nurses would also come and take my blood pressure and check that everything was okay and that I wasn’t in too much pain. They were all extremely welcoming and accepting, never misgendered me once, and even double checked my name and pronouns to ensure that everyone knew. My mate was also allowed to stay with me pretty much the whole day until dinner, which really helped me cos I’m bad with hospitals.

After surgery I was stiff and ached a little, but there wasn’t too much pain. I was able to go to the toilet myself, although wiping was very difficult for the first week.

I stayed overnight, and was discharged the next day. They gave me anti-inflammatories, antibiotics, and some opiates to help the pain. I should note here that I do have an extremely high pain tolerance, so outside of days where I pushed myself a bit too far, I generally didn’t need to use them.

I’m unsure if my experience is unusual, as I was able to do pretty much everything immediately post-op. Of course, I’ve been taking it easy, but dressing, sleeping, cooking, moving, has all so far been generally okay. I have had some pain on days where I moved about too much, or sat up too much, but that’s also partially chronic pain flaring up due to my bad back.

I was discharged with my drains still in, as I’m a bleeder. Usually with Dr Merten they’re removed before discharge, but I was sent home with some bags and instructed to change them every 24 hours and keep a record of how much had drained. I think I wound up keeping my drains in for around a week before they were removed.

I went to the medical centre twice to have my dressings changed and drains checked (and eventually removed), and was sent home with a sterile staple remover for my GP to remove my staples with. They’ll be coming out at the end of the week. The drains didn’t hurt when removed, it just felt like an odd tugging sensation. The stitches Dr Merten used are dissolving ones, so no need to get them taken out.

I do have to change my nipple dressings every three days, and the tape on my incisions can stay on for up to a week. The stuff I use is extremely strong and has glue on it, so I’m a bit hesitant to change it on my own (nearly ripped a staple out last time I changed my dressings).

I’m roughly three weeks post-op now, and I have pretty much all my mobility back. Showering is difficult, as is bending over or reaching to one side (tugs on my incisions). There is pain when I do things, but unless something actively tugs at, touches, or puts pressure on my wounds I’m not in any pain. Mostly its just an annoyance at this stage.

I’m still sleeping on my back, although I can lie on my side for short periods of time. There’s some bruising around my armpits where I had liposuction, and there is a small numb patch on my left side. I can’t feel my nipples, but I also couldn’t feel them prior to this so it’s not a huge loss.

I’ve seen some people say that they felt depressed post-op because of a hormone fluctuation, but personally when I saw my chest it felt natural and right. I didn’t cry (not a big crier) and I wasn’t surprised or shocked or… overwhelmed. To me it was my outer body finally reflecting my inner self. I already looked like this in my own mind, so it was just natural that it looks the way it does post-op.

Unfortunately some dysmorphia and self-esteem issues surrounding my weight have resurfaced, but that’s not really related to the top surgery, and it’s something I’m able to work on as I recover.

If there’s something I haven’t covered that you’re curious about, please send an ask! I’ve tried to be as thorough as possible, but its been a few weeks and some details are fuzzy.

#top surgery

[thenovelartist]

An Impromptu Proposal, 28-29

<<Previous Next>>

28. Community service

When Adrien and Marinette returned from their trip to China, well rested and relaxed, there was one big thing they decided on: Adrien was going to go to counseling, and Marinette should probably see someone, too. Their kwamis did offer to help them, and while Marinette and Adrien agreed to take some of the help, they also thought seeing an outside specialist would be beneficial. Neither of the kwamis objected.

“Honestly, as fantastic as that vacation was, it’s kinda nice to be home,” Marinette said, stepping into their apartment.

“Yeah,” Adrien said. “Though, home is only home because you live here, too. Makes it feel like I belong here now.”

With a smile, Marinette looped her arms around his neck. “I’m glad to have this home with you.”

His own smile grew before he leaned down to press a sweet kiss to her lips. “Love you.”

“I love you.”

“Do you want to wash off the plane and travel feeling?” he asked.

“Yes. Very much.”

“Are you joining me?”

“Well, since you’re offering, how can I refuse.”

…

When Marinette and Adrien finally got out of the shower, Adrien immediately collapsed on the bed for a cat nap while Marinette scrolled through the emails and phone calls she’d been purposefully ignoring for the last few weeks.

She was about to call Alya when her best friend beat her to it. “Hey,” Marinette greeted quietly, knowing Adrien was in the other room. She got up to shut the door to the bedroom so she wouldn’t disturb Adrien. “I was just gonna call you.”

“One step ahead of you,” Alya’s cheerful voice came through the phone. “Wanted to call and catch you up. But first, how was the trip with the hubby?”

Marinette sighed, relaxing into the couch. “Relaxing and much needed.”

“Do anything special?”

Marinette was going to ignore the particular teasing lit in Alya’s tone. “No. Not particularly.”

“Did you pay attention to the news?”

“Definitely not.”

“Then you didn’t hear Lila and Gabriel’s sentencing, I assume.”

Marinette stiffened at that. “They were sentenced already?”

“Yeah,” Alya confirmed. “You don’t exactly get to terrorize the entirety of Paris for several years and not get the luxury of a swift and painful trial. Anyway, Lila was pissed and fought all the while. She never got out that you and Adrien were Chat and Ladybug, so you guys still have a little time before that surfaces. Besides, you know I’ll do damage control over it.”

“The bonuses of being best friends with the ladyblogger,” Marinette teased.

“Girl, had I known who you were earlier, I totally would have helped keep your identity.”

Marinette pursed her lips to keep back the doubtful smirk. “Sorry, but I’m not sure I believe you. I knew how you were in school.”

Alya paused. “True, but you also know that I would have helped my best friend. But, I know how Ladybug loved her secret identity, which was probably for the best.”

“Thank you.”

“Anyway,” Alya said, getting back on topic. “As for Gabriel, he surrendered shockingly easily. Because of that, they were a little more merciful on him. I mean, life in jail and community service isn’t pretty, but Gabriel may have the option of parole earlier than Lila does. That is… if he gets the clear from the psychiatric doctor. They were really worried for his mental state during the trial, so he’s in a specialty ward at the moment being cared for as a potential risk to himself.”

Marinette cringed. How was she going to tell that to Adrien? He was already a mess as is. Knowing that might be even worse. But then again, he’d find out one way or another. She’d tell him later, and then they could talk about it at counseling.

Speaking of which…

“Hey, Alya. Um, one of the things that Adrien and I agreed to was to seek some counseling help considering that we’re facing… all of this. And I was wondering—”

“If I knew anyone?” Alya finished. “I’ll do all the research for you, girl. I got you covered. I think that Adrien could really use it, poor guy. I’m glad that he sold the company when he did, though. He’s not dealing with the legal battles now.”

“I got to feel a little bad for the buyer, though,” Marinette said. “Having to deal with that mess.”

“Well… yeah,” Alya admitted. “But honestly, it’s so much better than Adrien dealing with it. That’s the last thing that guy needs right now.”

Marinette couldn’t disagree with that. Knowing her husband wasn’t the one who had to bear that weight on his shoulders along with everything else was a relief. “Yeah, you’re right about that.”

“How are you doing?” Alya asked. “Because I know that we’re talking about Adrien being KO-ed, which is completely understandable, but what about you? This can’t be easy on you, either.”

“It’s not,” Marinette said. “But I think part of that stress is knowing what Adrien is going through and wanting to shoulder what I can and be a pillar of support so he doesn’t feel like the world’s caving in on him.”

“Honey, you are a good wife to that man. He better take good care of you.”

“He does,” Marinette said, smile on her face and a warm feeling in her heart. “He’s my partner; we take care of each other. I don’t think either of us know the limit of how far is too far. Particularly Adrien.”

Alya hummed. “I think you’re right. But don’t forget that you have your own stressors that you need to carry. Don’t try to carry everything on your own.”

“You’re right,” Marinette admitted. “I’ll be careful.”

“Good, because I care about you…” There was a pause at the end of the line. “Hey, give me a second, Nino’s calling, probably about the wedding venue.”

“Okay.” Marinette couldn’t help but grin. Nino had finally gotten the courage to propose to Alya a couple months back in between all this superhero chaos. They decided not to rush with it, because they were dealing with their own stress from it, too, but it seemed like they were moving ahead with it now.

There was a click signaling Alya’s return. “Hey, so I’m sorry, but I gotta jet. Nino’s picking me up in a couple minutes to go check out a wedding venue.”

“Then I’ll let you go. Hope it’s a successful endeavor.”

“Here’s hoping. Call you back to talk later, ‘kay?”

“Okay. Bye.”

“Bye, girl.”

When Marinette hung up the phone, she suddenly felt Adrien’s arms wrap around her shoulders. “You’re the most incredible wife I could ask for,” he whispered.

“Were you listening?” she asked, reaching up to hold his arms.

“I was,” he admitted.

“I thought you were sleeping.”

“Not really, and this cat has killer hearing.”

She couldn’t help but giggle.

“Thank you so much for everything,” Adrien said, squeezing her tight. “And I’m sorry if I make you feel like you have to shoulder any of my burden—”

“You don’t,” Marinette cut in. “I do try to because I love you and want to help you through this."

"It helps just knowing you’re there.”

“Then that’s all that matters.”

Adrien squeezed her tight, then pressed a kiss to her cheek. “I love you so much.”

“I love you, too, kitty. I love you so much.”

 ...

29. Kwami swap

Before either Marinette or Adrien had realized, Christmas season was upon them. Life was slowly returning to normal. Counseling was going well for both of them. Marinette decided her new year’s resolution would be to start looking for a new job. She was ready to get back into the workforce. Adrien, on the other hand, decided to continue his studies and find a university to apply to next year, but for now, he was looking into his options of courses of study. Honestly, for where he was, Marinette was very proud of her husband for beginning to take those steps.

This next year was going to be a good one, Marinette could tell. And she was very much looking forward to it. But for now, Marinette was looking forward to a very nice, underrated, mundane Christmas that wouldn’t be overshadowed by the fear of an akuma appearing in the middle of any party or dinner or event. They could open gifts and sleep in and have Christmas dinner without the constant fear of an akuma or two or three cropping up right when it was the least convenient.

At the moment, Marinette was taking a leisurely stroll around Paris trying to find the perfect Christmas gift for her husband.

“I’m hungry. Are we done yet?”

With a cranky little kwami in tow.

“Here,” Marinette said, taking a wedge of cheese out of her purse. How Adrien carried that stuff around for years, Marinette had no idea. She was certain she’d die from the smell. “Now, no more until you help me find a good gift for Adrien.”

“He’d be happy with your kisses. There. End of story.”

Despite being married for a few months, Marinette still blushed under the sarcastic kwami’s smug smirk. “Plagg.”

“What? You know I’m right.”

“Yeah, but I actually want a gift to give him.”

“Wrap yourself in a ribbon.”

She was going to smack this kwami into another country. “Plagg!”

“Fine,” the kwami whined. “Geez. I happen to know of a couple books he wants. Okay?”

“Thank you,” Marinette said. “Which ones?”

Plagg sighed. “We go to that big, fancy bookstore, and I’ll tell you.”

“Sounds like a plan.”

“And then we get to go home, right?”

Marinette smirked. “Sure. After we get a gift for each of my parents, Alya, Nino, and Chloe.”

Plagg let loose a long groan before sinking into her purse. “Wake me up when we get there.”

With a roll of her eyes, Marinette shut her purse. Even though Plagg had proven himself to be the laziest kwami in existence, he was helpful enough when he wanted to be.

…

“Tikki, I will trade Marinette for you.”

Tikki giggled. “You don’t mean that.”

“You’re helpful,” Adrien began, listing things off on his fingers. “You don’t sass back. You actually gave me good suggestions for Marinette’s Christmas gift as well as gifts for her parents. You don’t smell like cheese all the time. And you’re tidy. Just to name a few.”

“Well… yeah, I can’t argue with you about those,” Tikki cheekily retorted.

“So, when Marinette gets back, we’re trading.”

Again, Tikki giggled. “You don’t have your ears pierced.”

“A small detail,” Adrien dismissed with a wave.

“I think you’d make a good Ladybug, to be honest. But I think you make a better Black Cat.”

Adrien shrugged. “I guess it has its perks.”

Tikki settled in his hair. “Sure. Whatever you say.”

#miraculous ladybug #fanfiction #ladynoir july 2019 #fluff #marinette dupain cheng #adrien agreste #alya cesaire #plagg #Tikki #sorry this took so long

[breakfastteatime]

Not!Friday Fanfic Friday

I keep thinking today’s Friday, so have a fic :P Have a dose of Thursday angst and humour, sprinkled with hurt/comfort.

And yes, I did turn my physio experiences into Noct’s. Also, exercise is great for mental health. Can’t recommend it enough. That whole runner’s high thing is legit... although it’s swimmer’s high for me because I’m not allowed on the treadmills ^^;

Physio helped.

Physio gave him strength.

Physio wasn't supposed to be easy.

Physio was supposed to make him better. That's why it hurt.

Those were the laws according to Gladiolus Amicitia.

"Ten more seconds, Noct," Gladio said.

Noctis swallowed every complaint.

"The burn's good for you."

Only an actual sadist would say that.

"Hold it. Don't let the shaking bother you. That’s just your muscles doing their job."

The Plank sucked. Especially after an entire cycle around the gym including weights, cardio and stretches. The plan was to rebuild his body's strength and stability. Noctis knew it helped; previous rounds of intense physiotherapy always helped in the past, but that didn't make it easy. He was definitely gonna feel this tomorrow. His back and bad leg had been especially troublesome lately, the combination of incredibly damp spring weather and another growth spurt conspiring to render him immobile. Which meant no combat training, just muscle strengthening and attempts to regain his pre-growth spurt flexibility. Because every time he grew, it brought a new set of challenges, undoing all his hard work.

And after a week out of school due to the chronic pain, Noctis would do whatever it took to escape the Citadel and get back to his normal life.

Gladio’s voice pulled him back to reality. "That's a minute."

Noctis didn't let himself collapse to the floor. That would hurt way too much. That said, he reached a certain point of lowering down when his arms just gave out on him. He hit the mat and groaned. No more today. He knew this pain. It wasn't the type that faded after ten minutes’ rest. This was the type that stayed unless tackled with medicine or magic and minimal amounts of movement. And given that Dad was busy and Noctis' control of healing magic sucked, it would be pills and bed for him. Unless this got any worse. Then he'd have to take one of the potions reserved for his worst days.

"Don't stay down there," Gladio said. "You'll seize up."

Gladio was right, but Noctis had pushed his body to its limits today. Sure, it was kinda stupid to go so hard, but he needed out. Also, the physio really had helped. His pain wasn't as bad as last week. His recovery times were faster than before. And he was actually able to do an entire circuit of the gym without stopping halfway through. Improvments for sure. Which meant his body needed to get it together so he could go back to school. He missed hanging out with Prompto; messaging wasn't enough.

"Can you get up?" Gladio asked in a serious tone, rather than the one used when he'd successfully parried one of Noctis' more ambitious, and ultimately doomed, attempts to kick his ass.

Pulse pounding in his throat, Noctis knew he wouldn't be getting to his feet alone. He shook his head.

Gladio held out a hand. "On three?"

Noctis took Gladio's hand. As promised, Gladio eased him to his feet. Noctis gingerly tested his bad leg. Not bad. Not exactly great, but it'd take his weight. Sort of. Like maybe a third of his weight. If he limped.

"Deep breaths," Gladio said. "Don't want you passing out on me."

Noctis took a breath. Okay, good. He didn't feel so dizzy now. He resisted the urge to lean into Gladio. He was sore and exhausted, the worst points of pain pulsing to the beat of his racing heart.

"Alright, we gotta go to the table. Work some of the issues out of your back."

Noctis restrained all complaints, mostly because they wouldn't be words but weary and embarrassing weeping instead. Gladio's deep tissue massages always felt great after he was finished. Unfortunately, they were pretty painful to endure, especially when his back had already hit its lowest point.

"Just focus on how good it's gonna feel once I'm finished," Gladio said. "You can take some meds then too. You know we have to - "

"Find the worst spots, I know." That way, Gladio could adapt the exercise programme. Slipping out of his t-shirt, refusing to dwell on the scar now exposed for all to see, Noctis settled on the massage table and enjoyed the brief relief being off his feet brought.

"Breathe, okay?" Gladio said. "Deep breaths. Focus on the end goal."

"You would've made a great motivational speaker," Noctis said.

"Hah hah."

Head turned to the side, Noctis watched Gladio grab a few essential oils to help with muscle tightness and swelling. They smelled amazing, and if Noctis focused on those, it took his mind off the pain. That, and the sound of rain washing over the window beside him. On a clear day he'd have a great view of the city, but today it was all lost to fog.

"Ready?" Gladio asked.

Noctis swallowed his fear. "Yeah, ready."

What followed was forty minutes of having his muscles, joints and bones pummelled. When Gladio found a particularly knotted muscle, he stayed with it until he was satisfied he'd worked it out. Noctis tried not to shudder when Gladio's hands and elbows worked over the scar. He hated the feeling of other people touching the gnarled, bumpy flesh. He barely liked touching it himself when he showered. Patches of it were completely deadened, but others? Sometimes he had nightmare of accidentally catching his fingers in it and clawing his way through his own ragged flesh until -

"Growing really doesn't agree with you," Gladio said, working in a particularly painful area in Noctis' lower back.

Tears sprung to Noctis' eyes. "I'd stop it if I could."

"Nah, you can deal with a bit of pain if it means you gain a few inches."

Right now, Noctis wasn't sure he agreed. And every time Noctis tensed or forgot to breathe, Gladio reminded him to relax.

"I know this sucks. Would you believe me if I told you your back's a lot better than it was at the start of the week?" Gladio asked.

"Yeah, I believe you," Noctis gasped when Gladio caught a particularly bad patch.

"Breathe," Gladio said.

Noctis gasped like he'd surfaced from deep water. "Trying."

Gladio never mentioned the wobble or crack in Noctis' voice.

Eventually, as promised, Gladio used gentler motions to soothe away the pain. By the end, Noctis was jelly. Sleepy, achy jelly. With maybe just a few tearstains on his cheeks.

"You wanna take a nap here?" Gladio asked.

He could. He really could. Except as comfortable as he was, it wouldn't feel so good later when he woke up cold and unmedicated. So instead, Noctis accepted a warm blanket and a helping hand. With Gladio's support, he shuffled back to his rooms. There, Ignis had already left out water and medication, giving Noctis the options of mild meds, powerful meds, and the specialist potions created for him by Dad and the doctors. Noctis went with option two. Ten minutes later, clad in fresh sweats and bundled under a fresher blanket, Noctis slept. And when Gladio woke him a few hours later for food and more stretches, Noctis had to admit this whole exercising thing was working. Slowly, sure, but he could feel the improvements. Soon, he knew, he'd be back to normal.

Still, it was nice to be able to settle on the couch in the parlour with a hot water bottle and feel relaxed rather than tense and uncomfortable. He checked his phone and replied to what looked like Prompto's live-messaging of another day at school. Come back soon, Noct! I can't take this boredom without you!

Noctis smiled and replied. I'll be back soon. Then you can copy from my notes again.

Isn't it your royal duty to help those less fortunate than yourself? We can't all be geniuses.

Noctis snorted.

"What?" Gladio asked.

"Prompto said I'm a genius."

"How'd you convince him of that?" Gladio asked.

"By actually doing my homework," Noctis replied. And getting top grades. Nothing less would suffice.

"Yeah, having Ignis around to make you do things sure helps your grades."

Noctis glared at him. "Ignis doesn't do it for me."

"Sure he doesn't."

"He doesn't! He's way too busy."

"Oh, so you would get him to do it if you could?" Gladio teased.

Noctis grabbed a pillow and threw it at him.

Bad idea. Pain rumbled down his back.

Noctis ignored it. The pain didn't compare to the sight of the pillow hitting Gladio square in the face. Definitely worth an extra ache or two.

"Oi," Gladio said. "You must be feeling better if you think you're gonna get away with that."

The pillow came back, smacking Noctis in the face. He fell back, laughing through his pain.

Gladio got up from his seat, grabbed the pillow from Noctis' lap, and gave his hair a ruffle. "It's good to see you're feeling better."

"Yeah," Noctis said. He looked up at Gladio, fist held out. "Thanks."

Gladio bumped his fist against Noctis'. "Any time."

#Breakfast Tea Tumblr Fic EXCLUSIVE #pre-game #Brotherhood Era #FFXV fic #hurt noct #gladio's a great big brother #ignis and prompto are mentioned #Breakfast Tea's adventures in physio #it only really hurts when my physiotherapist puts excess weight on my back #OW dude OW #he made me hop the other week when I was having a bad day #who knew hopping could be that painful? #but physio helps #like a lot #combined with swimming and yoga I'm having less pain #pain free days here I come!

[lozenger8]

in awe of somethin' so flawed and free

Written for @scottappreciation week, Days 5, 6 and 7 (Heartbeats Rising, The True Alpha, Road Ahead). Scott/Stiles, G except for all the swearing. Title from Hozier because I am nothing if not predictable.

There’s an old adage in storytelling of ‘show, don’t tell’ which people frequently try to apply to real life, but Scott doesn’t know how to explain how deeply he’s fallen in love with Stiles without saying the words, because nothing being shown is new. He’s always wanted to be this close to Stiles, always put his life on the line, always imagined a future of them together. Scott has pulled himself apart for Stiles and sewn himself back together, and when he did that, he loved him, but not in the same way. Before, the love felt deep inside him, a tiny ball of warmth beneath his rib cage. That sensation is still there, but now it stretches all through him, radiating out beams of light that skitter over his skin.

Stiles has been back in Beacon Hills for four months and five days. Scott’s not truly back, yet, still commuting to graduate veterinary medicine classes at Davis. And every time they’re in the same room, Scott thinks this is the time he’s going to tell Stiles, this is when the truth will finally slip out. But somehow, some way, he always manages to contain himself.

The thing is, Scott loves the person he can be when Stiles is around, loves who Stiles brings out with a well-timed in-joke, fond smile, raised eyebrow, squeeze on the shoulder, handshake, hug. Only his mom knows him the same way Stiles does, and sometimes that’s a curse as well as a blessing, but there’s such relief in being known. However, he loves Stiles for Stiles too, for being funny and loyal and the parallelogram to his square. Scott’s in awe of how he’s grown, how they both have. Scott thinks, together, they’ve become something to be admired rather than feared, a force of calm and confidence.

Plus, Stiles is objectively hot, there’s no denying it. When Stiles sits close to him, Scott’s pulse races and his tongue goes dry, and he can’t stop visualizing how they’d look together, because damn.

“Are you okay?” Stiles asks him on one such occasion, because he does that now, he checks in. Sometimes it’s a little on the condescending side, but Scott still likes it, because for Stiles to be making the effort, he must really care about the answer.

Scott pauses for a moment, because how could he tell Stiles he’s fine, he’s good, he’d just be better pressed all up against Stiles, limb against limb, lips against lips?

Like that, probably, using those precise words, but they’re lodged in the back of his throat.

Better to show him, maybe, but what if Stiles doesn’t reciprocate these feelings? Sometimes, Scott thinks… maybe. But then that air of suggestion dissipates and he assumes it was imagined.

“Honestly? I’m kinda exhausted. Finishing off my degree is kicking my ass,” Scott says, because he has learned to both accept and mention his limitations more frequently and it’s been very useful, especially in moments like this when Stiles frowns in commiseration and rubs a comforting hand up and down his arm.

“Skip the pack dinner and movie night, go straight to bed?” Stiles asks, and Scott knows he doesn’t mean to make it sound like it’s something they’ll be doing in tandem, in the same bed, but his nervous system doesn’t.

“No,” Scott says. “I wanna see everyone and when we’re all together I feel energized.”

“I asked Alan about that and he said it’s purely psychosomatic. There’s no mythical True Alpha pack boost magic.”

“I don’t care. And the great thing about placebos is that you can know they’re bullshit and yet they still work.”

Stiles graces him with a wide smile, which he does a lot more now; half-knowing, half-skeptical, and he moves his hand from Scott’s upper arm to his shoulder. The touch lights up every single nerve on his right side and Scott’s spine shivers.

“Tell me if it gets to be too much.”

“I will,” Scott replies with a dramatic roll of his eyes. He might even be telling the truth.

*

Scott wasn’t lying about wanting to be with the pack. He can and will listen to hours of Liam and Mason debating the latest movie to watch, likes watching Corey and Hayden mocking them with love-filled expressions, and will sit behind Malia alongside Kira and braid her hair. Sometimes, Lydia video calls from Oxford. Stiles talks shop with Noah in the kitchen, ostensibly preparing food and usually bringing far less than Melissa and Scott bought into the living room. Scott will attempt to pick Alan’s brains in some covert study revision in the guise of casual conversation and never get away with it. When they play the movie, Stiles will sit so close to Scott he’s practically in his lap. And it’s good.

This night, he really is so tired his bones ache, so Scott says his goodnights halfway through the second movie and goes to shower before tucking himself up in bed. This ability to cast himself loose when he needs to is one of the many benefits of still living with his mom when he stays in Beacon Hills. He’s going to get his own place, eventually, when he makes a living wage and isn’t pulled pillar to post. Luckily, his mom seems in no hurry to push him out.

An hour later there’s a knock on his door. Scott awakes, flicks on his lamp, mumbles, “Come in.”

“Oh, you really went to sleep, shit, sorry,” Stiles says, looking poleaxed.

“I did tell you I was tired,” Scott says, sitting up against his headboard and tugging his sheet so it covers him to his waist. He’s wearing boxer briefs and only boxer briefs, and even though he’s been naked around Stiles before, these days doing so feels charged.

Stiles shrugs a shoulder. “That’s my go-to excuse when I need me-time.”

“I would not being doing that in a house full of supernatural and extraordinary humans,” Scott states, emphatically.

“I did not mean it like that, oh my God,” Stiles replies, giving a shocky little laugh. He hikes a thumb over his shoulder. “I’ll go.”

“No, stay. I think that power nap did me a world of good.”

Scott gestures to the side of his bed and after he closes the door, Stiles settles there on top of the sheet, shoulder nudging into Scott’s. His sleeves are rolled up and Scott reminds himself to take slow, deep breaths to calm his rapturous excitement at the possibility of skin meeting skin.

“Are you sure it’s just you being tired?” Stiles asks. “There’s been something different about you lately I can’t pinpoint.”

Scott wants to tell Stiles the truth, but he also doesn’t want to put this barrier between them. He knows they won’t break, they’ve been through too much, but they’ll definitely change, in small yet significant ways. Stiles will stop touching him so much, and that little piece of familiarity, or home, will disappear.

“It’s nothing bad,” Scott says, because it’s not. He refuses to think of his feelings as something to discredit, diminish or degrade.

“All right,” Stiles says, though every tone is grudging.

“You trust me, right?”

“Always. With my life.”

“Then please trust me on this.”

Stiles nods, picks at the hem of his shirt. In the half-light of the room he’s all angles and shadows, and Scott’s heart rate picks up to astronomical heights. The heat he always feels where Stiles is concerned burns inferno hot. There’s tension between them, taut as one of Stiles’ yarn threads.

“You want a run-down of the rest of the movie you missed?” Stiles asks, taking that tension and cutting it, short and sharp.

“Yeah, go on, spoil me.”

For the next hour, they chat, until Scott’s woozy again and Stiles is fully slumped against his arm, head cradled on his shoulder. Scott’s the most comfortable he’s been in a long time, with the weight and heat of Stiles on him, the scent of him in his nose.

“I should let you sleep again, but I don’t wanna,” Stiles says, quiet. They turned Scott’s lamp off a while back so they’re shrouded in the dark.  

“Cruel. I thought you cared about my best interests?”

“I do, but I care about mine too and every part of me wants to be near to you.”

Scott tries, really hard, not to read too much into that, but it’s a pretty suggestive declaration. “Even your spleen?”

“You fuckin’ nerd. Especially my spleen. My lungs. My skin. My heart. All my organs, really. Nope. I just heard what that sounds like. No need to say it.”

In the interests of ‘show, don’t tell’, Scott reaches over and takes Stiles’ hand. He twines their fingers together, strokes his thumb in soft circles against Stiles’ delicate skin. It feels so right and he wonders why he never tried before.

In the interests of really needing and wanting to tell Stiles, he speaks too.

“I feel the same way. That’s the difference you’ve been noticing. I realized I’ve fallen in love with you.”

Scott can only see an impression of Stiles’ expression, but all fear he held evaporates as Stiles snuggles even closer to him and sighs. “Thank God. I thought I was the only one.”

They hold onto each other a little longer and then Stiles shifts position. Scott can feel him a few inches away, can just about see the whites of his eyes.

“Are you gonna kiss me?” Scott asks, hopeful.

“Actually, I was waiting for you to kiss me.”

When they kiss, it’s a mutual movement. Stiles’ kisses are all-encompassing. He has a way of mouthing at Scott’s bottom lip with a sweet suck. Scott’s whole body is set alight and he embraces it, embraces Stiles.

And this, this is new, this way of expressing the love he’s always felt. Scott smiles into their kisses and thinks about all the other ways he can show Stiles how thoroughly he has his heart.

#my words #text post #scottmccallweek #sciles #foreversciles #I will write this story 500 times #and I will write it 500 more

[0225pm]

hello!

ok idk if i should actually like create a separate blog for personal posts since this blog is mainly for han’s viewing pleasure but then again, its such a hassle to keep up with another blog so i thought ah wtheck, i’m just post everything here la hahaha whenever i feel like writing something. 

so yesterday, i didn’t have much plans for the day so i was basically free the whole friday. dayah at the last minute asked me out to accompany her collect some speaker thing for one of her event jobs for the upcoming month and since i have nothing to do at home and would much rather be out walking and burning calories (i’ll talk about this part later) i thought, ok sure why not.

so i took a quick shower, got dressed and did some light makeup. yes, your girl still isn’t confident enough to go anywhere far without at least putting on some foundation to cover them nasty scars haha but ok so i prepped and shit and met her at the bus stop. we were gonna head to aljunied and she suggested taking the bus to bedok so i said are you sure? cus i think it’s much nearer if we take towards eunos. but since the bus was already right in front of us we ended up just boarding it to bedok anyway.

so upon reaching bedok mrt station, i looked at the map and pointed out to her that it was really much nearer if we actually took the train from eunos (it was about 2 stops if i’m not wrong) but ah well, the rice has become porridge HAHAHHAAH. ok then we went to aljunied, and towards this ulu office area. i’ve actually been there with her before once, so this was my 2nd time and i guess i’m quite familiar with the area already la hahaha. i never follow blindly ok. 

i had to wait for quite some for her to be done cus the person was explaining something to her. it was kinda awkward standing there but the people going in and out of the tiny office space didn’t really seem to mind so that was good, i guess. i was also perspiring a little in the office wtf. it didn’t even feel like there was any aircon at all. but i wasn’t complaining about it la cus if i were to wait and stand outside it’s gonna be even hotter. the weather is really shitty wtf.

initially the plan was collect speaker > go see doctor > she goes to the bazaar with her classmates while i go home. cus like i said, i just wanted to get out of the house and walk so i was fine with going home early since i at least already get to walk a bit for the day. but unfortunately, the doctor didn’t have an afternoon session for fridays so she ended up cancelling on her class outing and then she suggested ok why not we go to the bazaar after seeing the doctor? so i said sure i’m cool. cus i haven’t been to the bazaar yet and since it was past the break fast timing, i thought ah pretty sure it’s not gonna be that crowded la hahahahaha (i was wrong lmao)

it was so fucking crowded but tbh, wasn’t as bad as last year. and i tried to be at peace with myself cus apparently when you’re peaceful you won’t really feel the heat but lol it was hard trying to brainwash yourself especially while standing in front of strong lighting that’s emitting heat haha but ok la both of us survived the heat and i didn’t complained a lot about perspiring so yay achievement? :-) 

before we left, we got the bucket of meatballs and fries to share and then she went to get some keropok lekor for her family. i also bought like 2 sticks of cheese hotdogs along the way home.

oh and as i was saying, i’m burning calories cus i’m trying to lose some weight. in fact, i’m on some sort of stupid irregular diet regimen right now. i say irregular cus i don’t stick to the right timings to eat lmao hahaha. also the main reason why i’m on this stupid unhealthy way of dieting is because i need to lose as much weight and physical body fat as much as possible within 2 weeks to fit into my dress. i bought a dress off asos and i thought ah, i think i’m a uk14. i usually wear uk14-16 for clothing on asos and i thought to myself i think this dress will definitely be able to fit me just fine since it looks loose fitting but lol my package arrived and i tried on the dress but i couldn’t zip it up 100% lmao it was too tight and i think the moment i sit down it’ll probably burst or something sigh. i have such a broad back :( i think it’s mainly bc the dress isn’t made of the usual jersey material that’s slight stretchable so i overestimated my own size lmao hahahah anyway it sucks to be me right now cus i’m trying not to consume too much carbs. tbh, i’m trying to stick to a 700-800 calories diet per day which is like one meal per day? but it’s really unhealthy and i don’t want to go back to the old me eating sweet potatoes for a week to the point where i felt really weak and lethargic. my skin was yellow and pale and i look so sickly wtf. my hair was also falling out more than usual. and i really really really don’t wanna go back on that route so i’m trying out this stupid diet i found that apparently IU did for 3 days. except mine is gonna have to last for 2 weeks which is why i tweak the food she consumed a little.

she has an apple for breakfast, 1 sweet potato for lunch and 1 protein shake for dinner.

but since i’m not gonna be doing this for only 3 days i cannot go into starvation mode so quickly or else my body is gonna go crazy (been there done that - rmbr the sweet potato diet? hahaha i did lose like 2 inches off my waist though doing that diet).

so what i do is:

i still have 1 apple per day. lunch or the “main” meal of the day will be something that has some carbs but not rice or noodles to sub the sweet potato (my sweet potatoes has gone rotten and i haven’t went out to buy any new ones). if i really want rice or noodles or bread, max is 2 mouthfuls. dinner would be protein milk+whey or chocolate soymilk to make up for the lack of glucose (yes hahha i need some glucose to sustain me)

if not then i’ll switch them up, like maybe protein based food for lunch like chicken and fish and then dinner would be soymilk.

basically limiting my intake of sugar and carbs la hahahaha fuck its only the 2nd day and i want to die. 

#personal #videos

[deansdirtylittlesecretsblog]

Salt and Burn

Title: Salt and Burn

Author:  Dean’s Dirty Little Secret

Summary: Dean and Donna go on a simple salt and burn.

Characters: Dean Winchester x Donna Hanscum

Word Count: 1764

Warnings: canon typical violence, mentions of blood

Author’s Notes: Thank you to @feelmyroarrrr for the idea. She’s utterly amazing at coming up with Dean and Donna ideas. Expect to see more.

***My work is not to be posted on any other sites without my express written permission.***

“That was exhausting,” Donna sighed, tossing the shovel over her shoulder. She put her foot in Dean’s hands and let him boost her out of the grave, then she reached down and took his hand, helping him to climb out. “And gross.” She nodded at the pile of skeletal remains in the coffin. “Hard to believe that pile of goo is causing all this trouble.”

“Hopefully it’s the pile of goo,” Dean chuckled. “The pile of goo and these baby teeth.” He rattled the small jar in his hand and tossed into the grave. “We’ll salt and burn it, then head back to the motel, wait and see if things go back to normal.” He pushed himself to his feet, dropped a kiss to the top of Donna’s head, and grabbed the can of gasoline. He set it down beside her and nudged her with his foot.

“Let’s go, gorgeous,” he murmured. “No sitting on the job.”

Donna sighed and hauled herself to her feet, brushing her hands off on her jeans. She grabbed the salt while Dean poured gasoline over the corpse. As she turned, out of the corner of her eye, she caught a flash of movement. She reached for the iron crowbar Dean had given her, but she wasn’t quick enough. The entity hit Dean, sending him flying, crashing into a headstone, falling in a heap, his leg twisted awkwardly beneath him.

“Dean!” she yelled.

“Burn it!” he replied, throwing the book of matches towards her.

She scooped it up and raced back to the grave, flinging the salt over the gasoline soaked corpse. She heard a gunshot behind her, making her flinch. Another gunshot, a few feet to her left, the ghost disappearing as Dean’s salt rounds hit it. She lit a match, then sparked the others, setting the entire book aflame before dropping it in the grave. She jumped back as the flames licked up the side, watching in awe as the ghost that had been coming for her disappeared in a flash.

She breathed a sigh of relief, even as she hurried to Dean’s side, dropping to her knees beside him.

“Shit, Dean, are you alright,?” she mumbled, tucking her arm under him and helping him to his feet. She got a good look at the jagged piece of wood sticking out of the ground, wood with blood on it.

“I’m fine,” he muttered, wincing painfully when he tried to put weight on his right foot. Two steps and he was down, hitting the ground, cursing like a sailor the second he hit.

“You’re not fine,” Donna snapped. “For pete’s sake, you can’t even walk.” She eased herself under him, pulling his arm over her shoulder, half helping, half dragging Dean to the Impala parked on the far side of the cemetery. She had to stop a couple of times to catch her breath.

“Forget crossfit, I’m just gonna drag your ass around a cemetery a couple of times a week,” she grumbled.

Dean chuckled and muttered something about being fine and her just being stubborn. Donna ignored him. She chanced a glance down at his leg, inwardly groaning at the sight of his blood-soaked jeans. He was definitely not fine.

Once they reached the Impala, Donna propped Dean against the side of it and reached for the passenger side door.

“What are you doing?” he grumbled.

“What’s it look like I’m doing?” she said. “I’m helping you into the car.”

“On the wrong side,” he scoffed. “Help me around to the driver’s side.”

“Um, no,” Donna shook her head. “Look at your leg, Dean. You’re not driving anywhere.”

“So who’s gonna drive?” He seemed confused.

“You’re losing too much blood, Winchester. Your brain isn’t functioning properly,” she muttered. “I’m driving.”

He opened his mouth and she knew he was going to argue, use some lame ass excuse to keep her from driving his Baby. She knew how possessive he was of his damn car, knew that he hated to let anyone, even Sam, drive it. She’d never even sat behind the steering wheel. Not once.

“Donna -”

“Don’t say it, Dean,” she cut him off. “Not if you know what is good for you.” She yanked open the door and pointed at the seat. He limped along the car, holding the roof to keep himself steady, then he lowered himself inside. He pulled the keys from his jacket pocket and held them out to her. Reluctantly.

She leaned down, wrapped a hand around the back of his neck, and kissed him. “I’ll be right back.” She slammed the door and hurried back into the cemetery. Fifteen minutes later, she was back at the Impala. She opened the trunk and deposited everything inside - shovels, gas can, the crowbars. She took a minute to catch her breath, running a hand through her hair, pushing it out of her face, before slamming the trunk and moving around the car to the driver’s side. She willed her hands to stop shaking before dropping inside.

Dean was sprawled across the seat, head on his jacket, leaning against the window, eyes half closed. She thought he was asleep until he spoke.

“We good, gorgeous?” he mumbled.

“We’re good,” she replied. “How’s the leg?”

“Hurts,” he muttered, wincing as he shifted.

“Fifteen, twenty minutes,” she said. “Can you hold out a little longer?”

“I’ll survive,” he nodded. “Just be careful with my car.”

Donna chose to ignore his comment, instead she started the Impala and flipped on the radio, turning the volume up so she wouldn’t have to listen to Dean comment on her driving. She eased down the winding roads of the cemetery, taking her time, getting a feel for the powerful, black car. It was huge, she felt like she was driving a tank, and maneuvering the corners was interesting; it was definitely different than driving her police cruiser, that was for sure. By the time she reached the main road back to town, she was feeling pretty confident, accelerating quickly, cruising the road a couple of miles over the speed limit.

To her surprise, Dean hadn’t commented once on her driving. She glanced at him out of the corner of her eye, expecting him to be asleep. He was still lying against the door, head on his jacket, but he was watching her, a smile on his face.

She felt a blush creeping up her cheeks. She always got flustered when Dean looked at her like that, like she was the most important thing in his world, like the only thing that mattered to him was her. She didn’t know what to say, or how to act.

“Stop staring at me,” she whispered, staring at the road.

“I like staring at you,” Dean chuckled. “Especially when you blush.”

“You’re making me blush by staring at me,” she shook her head. “Knock it off.”

Dean chuckled, shaking his head, but she did notice that he turned his head and looked out the window, only glancing her way every now and then.

“You’re doing fine, you know,” he said after a few minutes, so quietly she almost missed it. “You can drive my Baby any time.” When she glanced over at him, his eyes were closed, his breathing slow and even.

Fifteen minutes later she pulled into the motel parking lot, taking up two spots. She was out of the car before Dean had moved, rushing to open the door before he could. He groaned as she helped him from the car, and this time, he didn’t argue when she put an arm around him and helped him inside.

He fell to the bed, pulled a pillow under his head, one arm thrown over his eyes, grunting incoherently when Donna tried to talk to him. She left him alone, for a few minutes anyway, while she grabbed the first aid kit and some towels and washcloths from the bathroom. She sat on the bed by his feet and eased off his boots, then she unbuttoned his jeans, tugging them down, wincing when she finally got a good look at Dean’s leg.

He had a jagged four or five inch gash on his calf, deep, deeper than she’d thought. It was going to need stitches, that was for damn sure. She moved his leg, adjusting it so she could clean it. She kept an eye on Dean as she wiped the dried blood from it, grimacing every time he did, biting the inside of her mouth to keep quiet.

“Does it need stitches?” he mumbled.

“Yeah,” she replied. “A few.”

It took her nearly twenty minutes to get the stitches in, a feat she was surprised to accomplish in such a short time. Dean barely moved, something she wasn’t surprised about, not with the number of scars covering his body. This wasn’t his first rodeo. Once she had finished, had the wound bandaged, she was finally able to relax, blowing out a breath she hadn’t realized she was holding. She left Dean to rest while she cleaned up, first the implements of her work as a doctor, then herself, running the water as hot as she could stand it, scrubbing the blood from her hands, and the smoky corpse smell from her hair and skin. She didn’t get out of the shower until the water ran cold.

When she finally emerged from the bathroom, it looked like Dean was asleep, lying on his side, the blankets pulled up to his chin. Donna smiled to herself, finished putting her still damp hair in a bun on the top of her head, clicked off the light, and climbed into the bed beside Dean.

He wasn’t asleep; the second her head hit the pillow he was wrapping his arms around her and pulling her close. He rained kisses over her face, his hand sliding beneath her shirt, warm on her bare skin.

“Thank you,” he whispered.

“For what?” she asked.

“Taking care of me, taking care of my Baby,” he replied. “I didn’t think it was possible, but I’m pretty sure I love you even more now than I did before.”

“Yeah?” Donna giggled.

“You did great with her,” Dean said. “It was kinda hot.” He caught her lips in his, kissing her for a long time, both of them breathless when they broke apart.

She melded herself to him, humming in the back of her throat, her arms sliding around his neck, her fingers running through his hair, her face pressed to the side of his neck. They stayed like that until sleep caught up with them.

Dean and Donna Tags: @mamapeterson @sweetmisseddreams2002 @katnharper @ultimatecin73 @thebunkerismyhome @deathswaywardson @chrisatplay @geekylibrarian24 @jessica-bones-winchester @winchesterswoonathon @for-the-love-of-dean @tonifish @nichelle-my-belle @torn-and-frayed @ksgeekgirl @missandmrsgalxy @prettyboydean @tia58 @nerdyplantbasednurse @madamelibrarian117 @icantthinkofaname-oops @bringmesomepie56 @waywardjoy @iwriteshortstuff @piratedaydreams @that1seniorchick @starswirlblitz @pizzarollpatrol @lazairahel @hidingfrommychildren @thing-you-do-with-that-thing @district12-erudite @castiel-angelofthelord @misswhizzy @deansdirtywhore @wonderless-screwup @downworlder--impala @superbluhoo2 @deandoesthingstome @jencharlan @feelmyroarrrr @okay-okay18 @spnbrennafae @rattyretro-blog-blog @ladyroche @climbthatmooselikeatree @rizlow1 @smoothdogsgirl @mischief-maker1 @winchesterprincessbride @just-a-touch-of-sass-and-fandoms @sckslife @sis-tafics @youwerelikeadream @i-dream-of-dean @oriona75 @writingbeautifulmen @meeshw777 @mrswhozeewhatsis @gemini75eeyore @vote-for-pedro @tom-is-in-my-tardis @percywinchester27 @atc74 @chelseafartnoise @missbeccamay @findingfitnessforme @tas898 @munroe-foster @goofynerd-67babylove @tardis-full-of-fallen-angels @gallxntdean

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