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idyllic-ghost · 1 year

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Title: And We Meet Again

Pairing: immortal!Minghao x reincarnated!Reader

Warnings: discussions of death, mentions of medication, mentions of an anxiety attack, angst in general.

Genre: Soulmates, Romance, Fluff, Angst

Synopsis: There is something familiar about that house on the hill, even though you swear that you have never seen it before. But you’re drawn to the lavender fields and the ocean view - and the lonesome looking man you see sitting on the porch. When you approach him there is something in his eyes that you cannot understand - a knowing, a deep feeling. The question is, will you ever have enough time to figure out what that look means?

A/N: i want to thank @wondernus and @heartkyeom for helping me out with this one!! your comments helped me stay motivated and embellished the story a lot more <33

Word count: 6k

This is a collab with @svthub!

Click here to see the other fics in the collab!

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“Where do you want it, my love?” Minghao asked as he carried the shovel over to where you were standing, “Is here good?”

“It’s perfect.” You looked down at the tree sapling you were holding in your hand.

The wind was blowing around you. This really was the best place to build a home. A big field, up on a high cliff, with a view of the ocean. Your fiance was helping you plant a tree in what was supposed to become the garden. Minghao’s long hair was getting in his eyes while he shoveled up the dirt to plant the tree sapling, making you giggle. He looked up at you.

“You know we won’t be able to see the tree grow, right? Those take ages to get to their normal size,” he sighed.

“That means someone else can enjoy it in the future, darling,” you explained, “It is like we are leaving our mark on this place.”

“Anything you want, I suppose.” He smiled and kept digging. “Should this be deep enough?”

You hummed and placed the sapling in the hole, brushing your hands together to get rid of any dirt. Minghao shoveled the dirt in and patted on the ground. As soon as he put down the shovel and turned to you, you hugged him tightly.

“Imagine our house here,” you sighed, “Just the way we want it.”

Minghao pressed his lips to your temple, pressing a warm kiss on your cold skin. The base of the tree was thin and frail - but you knew that, with the right amount of love and care, you’d get it to a grand and beautiful size.

“I will see to it that you get the exact home that you want, love,” Minghao murmured.

“Hm? Even with a patio with lots of plants? Or a garden filled with lavender?” you asked with a beaming smile.

“Anything you want, darling.”

“I’ll give you a list then.”

The tree stood proud in that spot in front of where the house was supposed to be. You couldn’t be happier with your now husband standing right beside you in front of the place that you were going to call home.

Five hundred years later, the tree was still standing. Much larger and with ridges that showed its old age. Minghao’s hand grazed the rough bark of the tree. A sad smile appeared on his lips as he thought back to when the two of you planted this tree. The tree was dying, it was dry and had a grayish brown color instead of its past lively green bark. Time was disappearing like sand through his fingers, but he didn’t feel it. Unlike the tree, no signs of age could be seen on Minghao’s skin. He put his forehead against the wood. It was warm from the sun’s rays. Spring had finally come, and the buds on the branches were about to bloom. At this moment, it felt like only yesterday that he had planted this tree with you. He stepped away from the tree, the feeling of the rough texture lingered on his skin. He wasn’t sure why he ended up by the tree. It might have been the thought of you that led his subconscious to move his legs for him. He missed you, there was no denying that. However, even if you weren’t here with him right now, you would return soon.

The train rolled past beautiful scenery, ocean views and lavender fields. Your train cabin was cramped, but at least you were the only one in there. The small luggage you had brought along was tucked under your seat, except for a smaller backpack laying on the seat beside you. It contained anything you could need; tissues, a book, a phone with the notifications turned off, and your pain meds. So far the ride had been peaceful. It was quiet, the only sound being the clashing of the train tracks against the wheels. Outside you saw the most calming view you had laid eyes on in a while. Color flooded your senses; purple, green, and blue hues spotting the landscape right in front of your finger tips. You could picture how fresh the air was. The clear skies and slight wind blowing through the trees, and the white spots of seasalt clinging to the window, made you want to go outside to take a deep breath. This was exactly what you needed for your final vacation, a quaint village by the seaside with an utmost harmonic atmosphere. Houses were sparsely built in this area, but a bit further away you could see the village where you were going to stay.

The moment you stepped foot in the village, you could tell it was a tight-knit community. Everyone seemed to know everyone and tourism didn’t seem to be very common. Still, you were given a warm welcome. The hostel you were staying at had a nice older man running it. He showed you to your room - a small but cozy room with a low ceiling. It was good enough for you especially since the bed was comfy enough for you to fall asleep right away. In the morning, you set off immediately after breakfast. Your feet took you to the big lavender field and you were hit with a huge wave of the wonderful scent. There was a small path paved for you between two big fields of purple flowers. On top of the hill was a house - a white villa with a black roof. Beside it stood a big oak tree.

From where you were standing, you could see the outline of a man sitting on the porch. Everything felt so awfully familiar, a huge wave of deja vu hit you. It felt wrong to just go to some stranger’s house, but you told yourself it would be right to ask for directions - you were out in the middle of nowhere after all. When you got closer, you could see that the man was looking back at you - and you swore you saw him smiling.

“Hi! Sorry for intruding,” you said as you approached the porch, “I’m just a little lost.”

The man was slender with dark hair - there was something mysterious about him, specifically in his deep brown eyes. But he was calm, you might even describe him as peaceful.

“You’re not intruding.” His voice was smooth, and his emphasis on ‘you’ had you taken aback.

He got up from his seat and approached you with a warm look on his face.

“I’m just here on vacation, I’m living in the town across the fields,” you explained. “And I was going to go to the sea, but these flowers got my attention.”

“They’re pretty, aren’t they?” The man looked out across the fields.

“Lavender’s my favorite.” You nodded.

He gave you a knowing smile before silently inviting you to sit down with him. There were two cups on the table on the porch, and one pot of tea. You would never normally do this, but you accepted his kind gesture.

“My name’s Minghao,” he said and brought the cup to his lips.

“Y/N,” you answered and drank the lavender green tea.

“That’s a pretty name,” he said.

“Thank you.” You put down your cup and looked around you. “Do you live here by yourself?”

“Mostly.” He nodded, and you could tell that he wasn’t going to explain further.

You closed your eyes and took in the spring breeze. Everything was calm and peaceful. You thought about what a nice life you could live here. It was something you could see yourself doing something like this in another life. You felt Minghao’s eyes on you, and you turned your head to look at him.

“How long are you staying in town?” he asked.

“A few weeks.”

He nodded. Suddenly something sad appeared in his eyes, but it disappeared as fast as it got there. There was no doubt that there was a connection between you and this stranger - although it seemed insane. The two of you had only spoken a few words but it felt right. Just as right as it had been getting on the train over here, and just as right as it had been to walk down this path.

“Have you lived here for long?” you asked.

“Longer than you can imagine”

You gave him a weird look, which he responded with a soft chuckle. It felt restrained, his entire posture was restrained. There was more to this interaction than he let on, but you had no idea what it could mean.

“I think I should start heading back.” You stood up, “Thank you for the tea”

“Come by again sometime.”

“I will.” You nodded. “... is it alright if I pick some lavender?”

“It’s all yours,” he hummed.

Minghao gripped the armrests of the chair tightly as he watched you walk away. You bent down beside the path and picked up a few lavender flowers, turned back to the house, and waved before walking back.

He took a deep breath. This wasn’t the first time you had walked away from him.

Far from it.

You were the same as you always were - sweet, curious, and just as he remembered you. Every single time he got to see you again, you were perfect. You had been from the start.

The first time Minghao had met you was five hundred years ago. It was a different town than where he lived now. There, the two of you lived far apart but close at heart. You were the child of the duke of the land; Minghao, nothing more than a physician’s apprentice. Despite getting proposals from people of high standings across the lands, your eyes never wavered from him. Minghao was the one you had set out to marry no matter who disagreed.

That’s exactly why you decided to run off together. Not much had been planned out, except that you’d try to steal two horses, or maybe even one, and that you’d do it during a night when the moon didn’t cast light upon your trail. The night when you followed through with your half-finished plan, it came to you unexpectedly. You ran off to Minghao’s cabin as soon as dusk came.

“Come on, get your things!” You shook Minghao awake.

“Your majesty-”

“We don’t have time for this, my love,” you interrupted. “No one’s around, this is our only chance. Get yourself ready, I’ll go get the horses.”

The two of you escaped into the night, planning on never stepping foot into the town again. You found a small village where you decided to stay. It was right by an open field, and close to the seashore. You immediately fell in love with this field, which is why the two of you decided to build a house there.

It was all you would work on, day in and day out you would sketch new ideas. You had picked a spot right in the middle of a big field. There was open ground, perfect to build upon, and a view over the sea. However, just a few years after getting married, you died.

A weak heart, was the only explanation he ever got - but there people just weren’t as knowledgeable back then. Minghao, a few moments before you passed, made a promise that he’d see you again, that his life would never be complete without you. He finished building the house you wanted, following every instruction you had written down, and planted a tree right next to it. Since he had already planted your favorite tree, he began planting lavender patches around it, they were your favorite, and every year he’d plant more.

Many years passed and Minghao never seemed to age, he didn’t feel it, and others noticed it. When his childhood friends started passing away while he still looked the same as all those years ago, he knew that something was wrong.

Minghao couldn’t die.

At first he didn’t understand, but then he saw you again. A visitor from a nearby town, who had no idea who he was. So he thought of it as a coincidence, maybe he was going mad. But then, a few decades later, it happened again. And again, and again, and again.

Every time it was different, but it was you - it was definitely you. Minghao learned to live with it at first. He’d move away a few years, come back just in time for you to visit, and it would keep going in an infinite loop.

Around the fifth time it had happened, he tried to tell you about all of your past lives. He somehow managed to convince you, but a week or so later you passed away suddenly. That’s how he found out he wasn’t allowed to tell you, but he also found out that his actions could change things - meaning that there had to be a way for you to stay. Finally, after all these years, he might know how.

Once you were back in the village, you were looking for a place to eat lunch. Your eyes fell upon a cheerful looking house with a small restaurant at the bottom floor. The old lady working there sat you down at a corner table and gave you some bread and water, leaving you some time to look at the menu. When she came back, and you placed your order, she asked you where you were from. You answered and she nodded with a smile.

“We don’t get many tourists here nowadays,” she explained. “It’s hard to not spot an unfamiliar face.”

“Well, this place is absolutely wonderful.” You smiled. “I’m surprised more people don’t come here… I mean, just the lavender field out there is enough of an attraction.”

“Oh, so you’ve been wandering around this morning, then?”

“Yes, I talked to the man who lives out in the middle of the field - Minghao I think it was,” you said.

“Oh, you’ve talked to Mr. Xu?” She sounded surprised. “We rarely see anything of him… he comes to the market a few times, but that’s about it. I’m surprised he’d talk to a stranger.”

You watched as she went to give your order to the chef, shocked to hear about him in this way. Minghao had been so friendly and didn’t seem like what the lady described him to be. After lunch, you walked around the market - at first just looking, but soon enough you were interviewing. You began talking to the townsfolk, asking them about the lavender fields and the house right in the middle of it. Everyone told the same story; the fields had always been there, so had the house, and no one could seem to remember when Xu Minghao moved into it.

Minghao was in his kitchen when he saw you walking back over the field, just a few days after the first visit. He quickly dried off his hands from washing a few fruits. With rushed steps, he made his way toward the front door. This was important, the second visit always was. His hand lingered on the door handle, but the thoughts were pushed away as soon as he pushed open the door. Light flooded into the dusty hallway, but he quickly closed it behind him. The sound of the door closing caught your attention. You were looking up at the crown of the tree, but now your attention was turned to him.

“Good morning,” he said.

“Good morning,” you answered, “Sorry for just dropping by.”

“You have nothing to apologize for.” He shrugged it off and approached you. “I enjoy a bit of company.”

You gave him a strange look, which he couldn’t decipher. However, it quickly faded and was replaced with a smile. You met him halfway, walking closer to the house.

“I was about to go on my morning walk,” Minghao lied. “Do you want to come along?”

It was a steep way down the hill towards the shore, but the two of you took it slow. You walked close behind him, watching each step you took. But the closer you got to the beach, the smaller the rocks were under your shoes - making it harder to walk. As if he somehow knew, Minghao held his hand out for you to take just as you were about to fall.

“It’s hard to walk here,” he hummed even though he was walking perfectly fine like he had walked there a million times before.

“Thank you,” you answered breathlessly, “I don’t have the right shoes for this.”

“You’re doing good,” he assured you with a smile.

His hand gripped yours a bit tighter, as he helped you over a more difficult part. Nevertheless, you weren’t doing so good. You thought back to your family and friends at home, to the letter you had left them. There had been no warning signs, from what you could imagine, and then you suddenly left them.

Suddenly, it’s like you were back there. You had received the news of the state of your health. A few months left to live, is what the sum of it was. It wasn’t something that you expected would ever happen to you. From that moment, you moved on with your life as normal - but the second you started feeling symptoms, you knew it was time to leave. You couldn’t stand seeing the worried faces of your loved ones while you slowly decayed. So, you wrote them each a letter and left - they explained your condition, and that you wouldn’t be returning. It hurt, but it was for the best. After this trip, you had decided to go to the hospital and spend your last days there. It wasn’t what you wanted, but you didn’t want anyone to see you in such a fragile state. Perhaps it was selfish, but you saw no other way.

The air was salty and warm like in a daze, but the cold breeze and the few droplets occasionally escaping from the ocean brought you back from your thoughts. You looked over at the man beside you. He was still holding your hand, still leading you across the safest path. A part of you wanted to ask Minghao a billion questions, but something kept you quiet - a single thought that you were mulling over in your head.

How was it possible that you seemed to know him?

No, you didn’t know his favorite color, or what kind of music he liked, but you remember his face from somewhere - like a distant memory. Minghao stopped walking, seemingly tired of the silence between you.

“This is my favorite spot,” he said.

He let go of your hand, and you immediately missed the warmth of his touch. Minghao looked at you. The sound of the waves crashing against the rocky shore filled your ears, and the noise seemed to drown out all thoughts. Nothing else but the depths of his eyes existed in this moment. He smiled, a dimple appearing on one of his cheeks.

“It’s beautiful,” you finally answered.

Your eyes never left his - it seemed impossible to do. His eyes had looked black before, but now, with the sun reflecting in them, they were a warm and inviting brown color. One of his hands reached out to your face. His thumb brushed against your cheek.

“Eyelash,” he murmured.

You smiled at him, silently thanking him. The sound of the waves echoed in your head, a slow rhythm building and merging with your heartbeat. Minghao’s hand lingered before he let it drop to his side again.

“Are you enjoying your time here?” he asked softly.

“It’s been calming,” you answered, “I finally feel at peace.”

Minghao’s eyebrows furrowed, as if there was something about you that he wasn’t expecting. However, as soon as the sound of another wave hitting the shore echoed toward you, his face readjusted to its normal state with a flinch. He was an enigma to you, a mystery you were unable to solve - a paradox.

“There’s something about you…” You stopped, unable to find any words that could accurately describe what you were feeling.

“Perhaps it’s infatuation,” he joked.

You let out a flustered laugh and looked out over the ocean, just to avoid his sharp eyes. It was a more bold comment than what you had heard from him before. As you’re about to go back on your word, to try to find the words you were searching for, you feel a sudden pain in your chest. It was a frequent symptom that you had gotten to know all too well recently. It’s sharp, starting in the middle of your chest before it spreads and eventually dulls. There’s nothing to do about it; it happens at random, and leaves too quickly for any pain meds to take effect - constantly numbing yourself wasn’t an option either. No, you saved your medication for more dire situations.

“It’s nothing.” You shake your head and bring your hand to your chest. “Should we head back?”

“Are you alright?” Minghao held his hands out, hovering around your body but not daring to touch you.

You can’t help but to look at him. Minghao is looking right at you, but his mind is somewhere else. A distant memory rumbles within him. He’s right next to you, but he’s mentally in another place. Despite your pain, you give him a small smile. You take one of his hands in yours, and you place your free hand on his shoulder. Minghao’s breath quickens, his eyes drifting away from you. Your hand leaves his shoulder to cup his cheek. He looks at you, and you smile at him again.

“Should we head back?” you asked again.

Minghao nods.

He watches you walk in front of him, his hand still in yours. However, as much as he tried, he couldn’t shake the gnagging feeling away. Seeing you just now, clearly in pain, put everything in perspective for him once again. You were dying, much like every other time you were here. There was always the slightly unsettling inkling that you had shorter and shorter time on earth each time you got reincarnated. He thought back to the first time you had died - how you had reached for your chest just like before, and how you had the same scrunched up facial expression. That time, you had collapsed - right in front of the tree the two of you had planted together. He wished he never had do see you like that again. Mindlessly follow you back home was all he could do now.

When you find yourself in front of Minghao’s house again, you also find that the pain in your chest has faded. It never lasted for long. A hand landed on your shoulder, and you turned to look directly into his eyes.

“Do you want to come inside? Maybe you should rest?” he asks, worry dripped from his words.

You wouldn’t mind staying with him for longer, and you were curious about how he lived. Playing up your pain felt wrong, but it also seemed like Minghao wanted you to stay for other reasons than your wellbeing. Moreover, when he, just a few seconds later, offered you a cup of tea, it was hard to say no.

Minghao’s home was exactly what you thought it’d be. Old trinkets, plants everywhere, and large windows that let lots of light in. He showed you into his kitchen, where he let you sit down by a dinner table, and he situated himself by the counter. The arcitecture of the house was old, but he had clearly renovated it to add a few modern details. As if he was afraid to leave the past behind, but found himself needing to adapt.

“So, what do you do in order to afford to own a place like this?” you asked.

“I’m a doctor.” Minghao speaks with his back to you, as he started the tea kettle.

“A doctor?” You look around the house, trying to find some sort of proof of his profession. “You’re not very busy for a doctor.”

“... I work privately,” he said.

Minghao takes out two mugs from the cupboard and walks up to you. You watch as he puts one mug in front of you and one mug in front of the chair opposite of yours. He doesn’t look at you, and goes back to the counter quite quickly. It wasn’t time for questions, you could feel it in every way he moved. Minghao was tense, and his movements almost robotic. He had done this routine a thousand times before, you could tell from the way he didn’t even have to look when he reached for the many tea leaves. He never asked you what you wanted, but you weren’t questioning it.

“So, are you going to tell me what happened on the beach?” he asked.

You thought that you could ask him the same question, but you decided to not voice this hypocrisy.

“Chronic pain,” you hummed, “It’s…”

You were going to say that it wasn’t serious, but it seemed as if Minghao could read your mind about these things. He hummed in response, setting down the tea kettle right in front of you before sitting down.

“It’s an illness,” you admit, “I won’t bore you about it… but I don’t have long left.”

It’s silent - you can hear a pin drop. Minghao picks up the kettle, and pours the tea in your mug. The sound of the water pouring is calming to you, his act makes you think that he’s understanding.

“There’s nothing you can do?” he asks.

“Nothing that I have heard of,” you said, “And I’ve gone through a lot of tests.”

“What about traditional methods?”

“Traditional?”

“I might have something for you,” he explained, “If it doesn’t cure you, it might just help your passing.”

You looked at him, skeptical at first but seeing his serious expression made you let go. At this point, you were willing to try anything.

“Come by tomorrow,” he said, “And I’ll have something prepared for you.”

You don’t know why, but you trust him without a doubt.

The very next day, you got worse. The pain in your chest was there when you woke up, but wouldn’t go away. You took your pain meds, which kept the pain at bay. However, you knew it was only temporary. You stayed in bed all day, only going out to the bathroom or to get food. The next day, you did the same. Then the day after that, and the day after that, until you had to ask the owner to bring your food to your room. Your body was betraying you, and you had no idea what to do. The thought of Minghao stays with you throughout this time. How you’ve failed him: you said you would be there, now you’ve left him alone for days. You wonder if he saw it coming, or if he was disappointed that you didn’t show.

By day five you decided you had to try to get to him. Your medication was running out, since you had taken more than you were recommended to, but it was enough to carry you through the journey. You left all of your things at the hostel, you couldn’t carry anything in this state, and snuck out without anyone seeing. The owner had grown attached to you, and had urged you to not go anywhere these past few days - so you didn’t want anyone to see you leave.

Minghao sits on the porch, where you had first seen him, when you arrive at the villa. You’re out of breath and limping, but it doesn’t stop you. His eyes widened when he first spotted you, and he hesitates before running toward you. You collapse in his arms, finally feelingn safe enough to relax.

“I didn’t forget you, I promise,” you whisper hoarsely.

“I didn’t think you would,” he hummed and soothingly started stroking your back. “Let’s get you inside.”

He lifts you up, and lets you prop yourself against his shoulder. You steady yourself on him, and limp in through the house. Instead of stopping in the kitchen, like you thought he would, he carried you into a different room. The room was brightly lit, due to the large windows, and was different from the rest of the house. This room didn’t have any modern touches, it was seemingly completely original. And untouched. Dust flew around the room, although nothing was dirty. The room was well taken cared of, but not frequently visited.

“Rest in here,” Minghao said.

He sat you down on the bed, then proceeded to remove the linens that covered it just enough for you to settle down under the duvet. When he helped you into the bed, he made sure to handle you carefully. His touch was gentle, and you swore that he barely even breathed.

“I’ll get your medicine.”

In the kitchen, Minghao hurried together his ingrediendts. Lemon, honey, jasmine flowers, sage, root of valeriana, and, most importantly, lavender grown from the fields outside. He got the potion from one of his old books - two different sleeping potions mixed together. Maybe, just maybe, with a little help of some of his other trinkets, he could save you. He ground the ingredients up together, making it into a paste before diluting it with water. Before bringing it to you, he needed to gather a few other things. An old locket, a branch from the tree outside, and a bouquet of lavender and other wild flowers he had found outside. Memories from your past lives. The tree and the lavender was vague enough for you to not question it, but the locket he had to act carefully with. Inside it was a picture of him and you, from your wedding ceremony. It had been a small affair, so no one could tell it was a wedding picture from just looking at it. But the picture alone was suspicious for you to see. Nevertheless, Minghao put everything on a tray and carried it in to your room.

You had fallen asleep when Minghao walked back into the room. He put the tray on the bedside table. The bouquet went in a glass and golden vase, and then he sat down next to you. To wake you, he put a hand on your shoulder and gently shook you. As soon as you opened your eyes, your eyebrows furrowed in pain.

“I’m sorry,” he winced.

“It’s okay,” you mumbled, “Do you have it?”

Minghao hummed and helped you sit up. Once you had done so, he put the cup in your hands but stopped you when you attempted to drink it. One of his hands covered the top of the cup, and he kept it there.

“I have to warn you. This is strong,” he said.

“I don’t care, I just want to get better,” you said in a cracked voice, “Any way possible.”

Minghao nodded, and reached for the locket. He looked at you, hesitating before putting it around your neck. You were about to ask, but he stopped you with one, serious look.

“You’ll be different when you wake up, Y/N.”

“Different is better than dead,” you said dryly.

You put the cup to your lips and turned it upside-down. Minghao took your cup when you finished and helped you lay back down. Pulling the covers up over your chest, he watched as sleep took over you and as you fell into your deep slumber.

Days passed and you hadn’t woken up. Minghao had put fresh flowers in the vase for you, and had put the tree branch in your hands, laying on your chest. You looked peaceful like this, not like you had when you came to him. Seeing you stumble towards the house, sweating and heaving, was more painful than having knowledge of all the times you had passed on - your suffering was forever carved into his memory.

The more time that passed, the more anxious he grew. Minghao stopped going into your room altogether. Maybe it was a mistake to try, maybe it wasn’t supposed to be this way - what if he was doomed for all eternity to watch you come and go, what if that was his destiny? Had he ruined it all? Would he never be able to see you smile again? His thoughts kept spiraling, and he didn’t know how to stop it. His routine was the only thing that kept him calm. Wake up, breakfast, morning walk, take care of the plants, eat, read, make tea, eat, sleep, repeat. Everything was done with the same robotic motions, it was the only thing to keep him from going completely insane with anxiety. Patience is a virtue, but it’s impossible to keep up when time had gone on for an eternity already. He was so close - if this could only work.

Once half a year had passed, he decided to check up on you. Despite his fears, you looked exactly the same. Dust had settled on your figure, but you were the exact same as before - peaceful, with your hands across your chest, and the locket around your neck. It must have worked. If you had died, then you would’ve decomposed by now. Then it was only a matter of time. Another winter alone, but the love and hope for you was enough to warm him.

You took a deep breath. Everything smelled of lavender. The corners of your mouth turned up, and you finally opened your eyes. The sun was bright, but the curtains dulled it’s glow. You sat up, looking at the twig in your hand. The tree. Yes, you remember. You remember planting it, and seeing it each time your life was renewed. You remembered everything. The cold locket against your bare skin made you aware of it’s presence of it around your neck. When you opened it you found your fondest memory - your wedding day. You looked around. Everything was just as the room you had designed for you and Minghao, all those hundred years ago. Minghao. You took off the duvet and put your feet on the ground. It was cold, and when you got up to walk it felt unusual, like you hadn’t walked in ages. As you stumbled your way to the door, the only thought in your mind was the one of him. You would finally see him again, remember him again.

When you got to the porch, you had to sit down. Everything was just the way you wanted it to be, the exact way you had planned it. Minghao had done well with your instructions. You sat down in one of the chairs on the porch. The tree had grown big - and he said you would never see it grow. Life found it’s way. What intrigued you the most was the lavender fields. Sure, you had asked Minghao for some lavender in your garden, it was your favorite flower after all, but you never imagined he would take it this far. As you looked over the fields, you saw someone coming towards the house in the distance. A tall man, with black hair, and a graceful walk. Though you couldn’t walk far, you stappled toward the railing and steadied yourself against it.

“Minghao!”, you shouted and waved one of your arms.

The man noticed you. At first he stopped walking, but then he began running. You stumbled down the stairs, and tried to close the distance between you even faster. The two of you collided, and he engufled you in his embrace. You lost your balance, and both of you fell to your knees.

“My love, you’re alive.” Minghao’s voice was cracked with tears threatening to spill from his eyes.

“I’m alive,” you sniffled, “I’m alive, and I remember it all - everything you have done for me. Thank you.”

Minghao released you slightly from his embrace, before bringing his lips to yours. Kissing you for the first time in ages felt like heaven on earth. He never wanted this moment to end, and neither did you. For the first time in over a centennial, you could fulfill a life together.

⋅•⋅⊰∙∘☽༓☾∘∙⊱⋅•⋅

Seventeen taglist: @junhui-recs ✧ @enhacolor ✧ @shuabby1994 ✧ @dkakapizzaboy ✧ @just-here-to-read-01 ✧ @loviehan ✧

#svthub.collab #svthub collab #garden collab #svt #seventeen #kpop fanfiction #kpop #kpop fanfic #kpop writer #fanfic #bee buzzed εїз✧･ﾟ: *✧･ﾟ:*#svt fluff #minghao fanfic #minghao #minghao fluff #minghao angst #minghao seventeen #xu minghao #the8

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duhnova · 1 year

Text

valley of broken dreams (and lilies) | lee jihoon

paring: producer!jihoon x daycare worker!fem!reader

genre: angst, some fluff, more hurt than comfort (but there’s comfort i swear)

word count: ~3.8k

synopsis: you met jihoon when you were both young and dumb — a promise you two made to become big in the music industry laid shattered years later when you lost your ability to sing, and now you have to live in the shadow of your boyfriend while you struggle to come to terms with your broken dreams.

warning(s): mention of food, mentions of illness/being sick/unknown disease, angst, some fluff, hurt comfort (kind of), let me know if i forgot anything! - don't mind grammatical errors/typos (me and @lovelyhan tried to catch them all, ily kai <3)

garden collab masterlist

The rain splattered against your apartment window softly as you ate dinner alone, for the third night in a row. Your boyfriend's plate sat cold across from you in the dimly lit dining room as you pushed the food around on yours.

Jihoon has been working non stop on music for the past few weeks, three different artists deciding they wanted to drop their albums within days of each other – leaving him to spend days on end in his studio. It was hard for you sometimes, to sit at home by yourself while he got to live out the dream the both of you had built together.

Shortly after you two had graduated from high school you had fallen violently sick and the doctors were unable to figure out what was wrong. After months of antibiotics and surgeries to remove infected tissue, the disease seemed to go away but not without damaging your vocal cords beyond repair. The strain of singing was dwindling your ability to speak and so with much heartache you gave up your future as a singer, opting to go to university to become a school teacher instead.

Jihoon, however never gave up his end of your dreams – not that you would ever ask him too but watching him grow big in the music industry made you feel like a shadow of your former self. No one knows your name and no one outside your inner circles ever will because of some twisted fate that left you broken.

Becoming lost in your thoughts of what could’ve been you missed the way a tear slipped down your cheek, only noticing when a quiet sob shakes your body. You feel pathetic as you let your vision blur, the mantra of your broken dream ringing in your ears while your emotions flow out your eyes.

The night continued to run silent as you put Jihoons untouched dinner in the fridge, saving it for later knowing he wouldn’t be home when you woke up. It was a vicious cycle you played. Every night you made enough dinner for the both of you only for him to spend the night in his studio and it would repeat until he showed up apologizing and promising to be home more for dinner only for him to break the promise a couple days later.

But you never learned.

“Y/N?” Jihoons tired voice called out into the silence of your shared apartment. It was Saturday so you should’ve been home at nine in the morning. Yet you were nowhere to be seen as he wandered around calling your name.

Exhausted Jihoon doesn’t try too hard to figure out where you went as he goes to take a shower. He speculates that you’ve just gone to the store as he lets the warm water run over his aching muscles, all his stress washing away with the suds of his soap.

While in the midst of cleaning himself he starts to hum his newest work in progress. The soft melody echoed off the walls of the shower, completely drowning out the sound of you entering the apartment.

“Jihoon?” You call out softly, excitement bubbling in your voice as you saw his shoes kicked haphazardly off to the side of the shoe rack you had set up the other night. You go to set the bag full of fresh produce on the counter while you grab a vase to put the bouquet of flowers you bought yourself in.

You weren’t worried about the lack of response as you could hear the distant sound of the shower running, figuring he couldn’t hear you over the water. After a couple minutes of organizing the fridge you finally shrug your jacket off so you could wander deeper into the apartment.

Freezing just outside the bathroom door you freeze, Jihoon’s soft voice was muffled by the door but you could make out his gentle singing. The song was soft and sweet, it reminded you of spring as you let his voice envelope you.

No matter how long you’ve known each other you could never get over how beautiful his voice was and it pained you a little that he chose to hide it and stay behind the scenes. You got so lost in the song and the memories that you didn’t notice that the shower had turned off until a towel-clad Jihoon opened the bathroom door, yelping quietly.

“Y/N!” He huffs quietly when his heart stops racing from being scared. “I didn’t hear you come… home..” His voice trailed off when your surprised, tear soaked eyes looked up at him. “Are you ok?” He was gentle when he reached to wipe your tears.

“Yeah.. That song..” He hummed quietly as he finished wiping off your tears. “It’s really pretty… Who’s it for?”

“Oh.. It’s for no one.” His hand falls from your face as his eyes flicker from yours to the wall behind you. “It’s just something I’ve been working on on my own.”

“Oh?” You tilt your head as you try to catch his eyes. “Maybe when you finish it you could play it for me one day.” One thing that Jihoon rarely does is invite you to his studio, and even though you two had a grand piano set up in the living room it hasn’t been touched in almost a year. A part of you knew it was because Jihoon didn’t like singing in front of you since you lost your ability to do so, but another part of you hoped that it was just because he was too busy or tired to do it.

“Maybe..” He hums quietly, finally looking you in the eyes again. A pained smile graces his face when he notices the hopeful glimmer in your eyes, he knew if he stared too long he’d cave and sing it for you right then and there. Willing himself to gently push past you, your boyfriend makes his way to your guys’ room so he could get dressed.

It was that awkward time of the year where summer was turning into fall and all the trees were dying while the air got chillier. You hated it.

All the couples around you stood close together, basking in each other's warmth while you walked alone and cold. Jihoon was supposed to meet you an hour ago but you figured he got caught up with his work, like he always does.

“Why am I even still here freezing my ass off?” You mumble to yourself as you glare at the fifth couple you’ve seen stop in front of where you were sitting so they could take a cute picture under the fairy lights that were set up in the trees that surrounded the little shopping district you were in. Just as you began to wallow a little too much in your self pity, your phone began to ring.

“Hello?” You sounded a little bitter, not even bothering to check who it was that called you.

“Ouch,” Seokmins' voice came through the other end of the phone. “You don’t sound too happy to hear my voice.” He laughs quietly when you curse and apologizes in a happier tone.

“Sorry min, I didn’t realize it was you.” You pushed down all your sadness as you sat up a little straighter.

“It’s ok,” He sounded tired but still chipper as ever. “What’s got you down sunshine?” Growing up with Jihoon you happened to befriend all of his friends, and Seokmin in particular became one of your closest friends as well and you two always fought over who was the real sunshine.

“Nothing got me down,” You’ve always been a horrible liar and the scoff the Seokmin let out proved that to be true. “Fine.. Jihoon blew me off for work again.” You grumble bitterly.

“See, now it makes sense why you answered the phone the way you did.” You could hear him moving around through the speaker. “Where are you right now?”

“I'm just outside loveity’s cafe, why?”

“Well I called originally to see if my two best friends were free to have dinner tonight since I’m finally home from being overseas.”

“What!? You weren’t supposed to be home for another two weeks!”

“Surprise shawty.” He mumbles while laughing to himself, only to flinch when you yell out an exasperated call of his name. “Well the last two games got canceled due to the head coach landing himself in the hospital with a concussion so I decided to just come home while the rest of my team is spending their last weeks exploring.”

“Well I’d love to have dinner with you min, but Jihoon hasn’t even answered my texts yet so I don’t know if that’ll happen tonight.” You sigh quietly.

“He didn’t answer my calls either, that's why I called you.”

“Oh gee thanks, glad to know I’m the second choice.” You joke before laughing at how dramatic his gasps sounded.

“Well if you wanted, me and you could still go out. Ditch the workaholic and catch up since me and you haven’t seen each other since your birthday last year.”

“Has it really been that long?”

“It has, I’ve been so busy transitioning into the big leagues I kind of forgot about everyone for a second.”

“As long as you don’t forget us forever.”

“I could never.” You could hear the smile in his voice and it was contagious. “So how about you stay right where you’re at and I’ll come meet you and we can do some catching up?”

“Sounds good, however I will be inside Loveity’s when you get here because I’m pretty sure I can’t feel my toes anymore… I might even be missing one, I don't really know.” You both laugh as you stand up and stretch, the bench having made your back sore.

“As long as it’s not the big one I’m sure you’ll live,” You shake your head as you head towards the entrance of the cafe. “I’ll see you in twenty though, ok?”

“See you in twenty.” You sigh constantly as you hang up the phone, the warmth of the cafe enveloping you as you go to order a hot chocolate while you wait.

“How many times do I have to say I’m sorry?” Jihoon followed you around the kitchen as you cooked silently. You had been giving him the silent treatment for the past thirty minutes or so since he walked through the door. “Y/N please, just look at me for two goddamn seconds!”

That finally made your head snap in his direction, your eyes glassy as you fought with every ounce of your body to not start crying right then and there. You could feel the anger and tears shake through your body as Jihoon stood like a deer caught in headlights.

“Do you even know what you’re apologizing for?” Your voice shook but it didn’t crack, much to your appreciation.

“I- '' he swallowed the lump in his throat because he knows there's a million things he could be apologizing for but at that moment he doesn’t know exactly what he did wrong.

“I constantly feel like a fool,” You mumble, you were never one to express when you felt things like this but it finally felt like you had enough. “I don’t even know if you're blowing our plans off because of work anymore.”

“What?” He sounded genuinely confused.

“We were supposed to have lunch today, I even texted you to remind you because I knew if I didn’t you weren’t going to remember… But I guess that didn’t work anyways.”

“You didn’t text me..” Jihoon pulled his phone out with a frown only to see in the midst of a million other notifications there was indeed a text from you at eleven a.m reminding him about your reservations. “Fuck..” He sighs quietly.

“Normally I’d be fine with it but it's as if you were just blowing me off because of work but you went to have lunch with some other girl..”

“It’s not like that and you know that.” He took a step towards you but stopped when you turned back around to focus on the broth of your soup that was finally boiling.

“I do know that, but the media doesn’t.. To them famous Producer Lee Jihoon was spotted on a date with some stupid singer who they speculate he left his girlfriend for.” You very aggressively stirred the contents of your pot, only calming down when Jihoon gingerly wrapped his arms around your waist from behind.

“It’s just a stupid rumor,” He mumbles as he rests his chin on your shoulder. “You know that, because obviously I didn’t leave you.. I’m just a dumbass.” He sighed as he squeezed your waist tighter.

“I just…” You stop stirring as you slump back against his body a little. “I know music is your dream but.. I’m starting to feel like I don’t fit in with that dream anymore.” You whisper.

‘What? Are you stupid?” You flinch when he pulls away, grabbing your shoulders so he can spin you around to face him. “This dream wouldn’t have even happened if it weren’t for you, I built everything I have because of you, so don’t even think that you don’t belong.”

“This dream…” You swallow quietly. “This dream of ours, isn’t what it used to be… I can’t sing anymore Ji.” You watch the way he flinches, his eyes filling with sorrow and you want nothing more than to scream. You were sick and tired of the same battles that always ended with someone pitying or wallowing in what could’ve been.

“This dream of ours can still work though.” He tried to reason as his fingers squeezed your shoulders tighter.

“How!” You were getting fed up with the conversation already, the wound of the past ripped open enough. “The only way it can work is if I magically get my ability to sing back, but news flash Jihoon, we don’t live in some disney movie where the writers can just make us a happy fucking ending!”

“You just have to let me try!” His voice began to raise with yours, how it escalated so quickly was beyond you but the frustration was high in both of you.

“Try? You won’t even sing your own songs out of fear of rejection from the music industry so how the hell are you supposed to ‘try’ Jihoon?”

“I don’t sing! You know this, it’s why you have always performed whatever I wrote!”

“You do sing though! I hear you in the bathroom or while you're working out! You can sing Ji, you’re just too scared too!”

“I’m not scared either! I’ve never been a singer though, it was always you.”

“Well I’m not a singer anymore and I will never become one again.. You have to give up that image of the past and move on.”

“I’m not moving on from this dream or from you.” His voice still dripped with anger but it wasn’t as loud anymore. He didn’t even give you a second to respond before he was stepping backwards away from you and turning around to leave the kitchen.

You stood there silently and listened to him walk down to what you assumed was your bedroom. You didn’t question him as you heard his keys jingle as he walked back down the hallway and haphazardly put his shoes on before aggressively opening and closing the door to your apartment.

“Why’re you letting me hold back your dream.” You finally let a tear slip from your eyes as you turn back to your soup that you were pretty sure was burning a little bit.

“Look! Look!” Your niece aggressively shoved her crayon drawing in your face as you laughed quietly at the way she was describing the scene she made. “It’s you, Uncle Ji, and me at the park! And we had a duck.”

“A duck?” You smile adoringly, it wasn’t often you got to spend time with her as your sister lives out of town but you cherished the days she dropped her off while she ran errands in the area.

“Yes, we found it.” She puts the drawing down to go back to coloring.

“Where did we find the duck?” You lean over to watch as she draws a little pond.

“At the pond silly!” She giggles and draws even more ducks in the water.

“We can’t keep it forever though.”

“And why’s that?”

“Because it’s family will miss it, see.” She pointed at all the little baby ducklings. “It's the daddy with the babies.”

“Oh? We have the mommy duck then?”

“We do.” She nods as she stares intensely while she draws more flowers around the water. In the midst of her finishing her masterpiece your niece asks you a question that floors you. “Can we sing when I’m finished?”

“Sing?” You look at her wide eyed, she’s never heard you sing before.

“Yeah.. Mommy says you and uncle Ji used to sing all the time.”

“We did when we were younger, I’m not like I used to be.” You smile gently at her.

“What does that mean?” She looks up at you curiously.

“Well.. I got sick and so I don’t sing anymore.”

“Sick?” She tilts her head.

“It’s a long story my love,” You pat her head gently. “But I’ll tell you what. If you clean up everything we can sing one song and that's it, ok?” She nods her head quickly, and excitedly squeals, leaving her as she hurriedly cleans up her mess.

You have never seen a kid move so quickly before when it came to cleaning up. All your kids at the daycare would rather sing along with you as you sang the clean up song to get them to hopefully clean up faster.

“Done!” She jumps in front of you after returning from putting the crayons back where they went.

“You're eager aren’t you.” You smile as you stand up and lead her towards the giant white piano that sat in the corner of the room atop a raised platform.

“Mommy says your voice is beautiful.”

“Well, hopefully she’s still right.” You sit down at the piano, a pit forming in your stomach as you brushed your fingers over the freshly cleaned keys. “What shall I sing?”

“The last song you sang.” You shake your head, the last song you technically sang was the wheels on the bus and that was for the kids at your work. “Favorite song?” You hum quietly as you think hard about what your favorite song is.

“I can do that.” You took a second to refresh your memory on how it went but once you hit the first key it was like a river flowing out of you. The words rang flawlessly, as if you hadn't quit singing like that years ago.

The loudness of the piano mixed with the adrenaline running through your ears. You didn’t notice the front door open and Jihoon walked in. He stood frozen at the front door, staring at the way your niece looked at you with stars in her eyes as you sang just as beautifully as he remembered. He almost started crying because he hadn’t heard your voice in so long, and the warmth it brought him almost made him fall to his knees. When you finally finished the song his clapping startled you and your niece as she stopped mid clap to yell in surprise.

“Ji!” You stand from the piano nervously, you weren’t supposed to be singing, the activity of straining your vocal cords. “You're home early.” You look at the clock to see it was only one in the afternoon.

“I finally finished the last album..” He took his backpack off and gently set it on the table by the front door before he's taking his shoes off to swap them for his house slippers as he sets them on the shoe rack.

“Uncle Ji!” Your niece giggles as she finally runs up to him and jumps in his arms. He laughs quietly and spins her around, asking her about her day. You felt a small pang in your chest as you watched them interact with each other, the longing for a family hitting you full swing for the first time in months.

“Y/N?” Jihoon mumbled worriedly, startling you out of your little daydream. He was standing right in front of you now, your niece having ran off to grab something you assumed.

“Yes?” You whisper quietly, looking into his eyes before jerking to cough into your sleeve. “Sorry..”

“You’re not supposed to be singing like that..” His voice was filled with worry as he gently rested his hand on the side of your neck.

“I know, but it’s the first time I really sang in years and I couldn’t say no to her..” You give him a sheepish smile. “Besides, she’s never heard me sing before.”

“I just don’t want you to ruin your voice for good..” He rests his forehead against yours, the urge to tell you he’d miss the way you said ‘I love you’ on the tip of his tongue but before he could say anything else your niece comes running back into the room with a build-a-bear that she had made to look like him.

“Uncle Ji look! It’s you!” She giggles as she forces her way between you too to show him the cat up close. Jihoon laughs quietly as he picks her back up to look at it more closely.

“This isn’t me!” He laughs louder when she clicks the paw so that a voice recording of him talking plays. “Ok maybe it’s close to being me.”

Days like this made you realize that maybe this dream you built with Jihoon really was perfect in its own way. Even if you couldn’t sing like you used too, you still had each other and the necklaces that you wore signified that – the old lily of the valley flowers that hung from the chains were unique to their creator, the both of you having made them for one another back when you had made the promise to become big stars one day.

feedback + reblogs greatly appreciated!

#svthub #svthub.collab #secret garden collab #jihoon fluff #woozi fluff #seventeen fluff #jihoon imagines #woozi imagines #seventeen imagines #jihoon angst #woozi angst #seventeen angst

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