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burrythebusy · 1 year

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A connection I drew between chapter 6 and 18

CW: some swearing (my mistake) and Chapter 18 Spoilers!!

This is real long and not beta-read please bear with me

I noticed some similarities between Kagiura's state of mind in the first six chapters of HRKG and Hirano’s state of mind since chapter 15 here.

So for the most part, volume 4 (chapters 16b-18) has been focused on how Hirano is working through their new relationship after chapter 15 (ten second touch, being honest with each other, etc.) And Hirano has recently BEEN more in touch with his feelings and realizing different things based on other people's input (am I addicted to Kagi-kun) and his own conclusions, and Kagiura's wish to be equals (the needy situation lol).

PLEASE NOTE: Okay so I was kind of wrong about the next paragraph because in chapter 14 he tells Ichinose he wants to stay with Kagiura because being with him helps him do his best. So I'm gonna keep this paragraph in because he technically hasn't confronted why SINCE then but it's kind of a useless segment at this point. My real point should've be that Hirano hasn't confronted why being with Kagiura helps him do his best. Like why exactly is that. Even then he kind of says that during chapter 15 too, seeing kagi works hard makes him wanna do the same? But still. Ignore the next paragraph if you please, it won't matter much).

And because of a lot of those factors, Hirano has really realized that he wants to stay roommates with Kagiura no matter what. He hasnt really acknowledged why recently, I believe his last acknowledgement to why was shortly after the confession when the whole idea came to be (him saying it'd just be easier, that they should sort out their feelings still, that it's easiest for hirano blah blah chapter 10 and 11) but now that chapter 15 has hit we all know that's bullshit and one of Hirano's driving forces is his happiness with Kagiura, which yeah could be considered an acknowledgement to why but to me it's not really direct? If that makes sense. He hasn't really said "I want us to stay roommates because..." he just DOES. Which isn't a problem honestly but to me it's very telling of Hirano's current mindset and I relate it to Kagiura in the beginning of HRKG's storyline.

So in chapter six, Niibashi brings up an excellent point (as always ily niibashi) in how Kagiura sees this whole "I want to get married" as a means to an end. He's like, that way, I can stay with him, I get to be with him all the time, "only I can have him" whatever whatever

Like Niibashi says, he thinks of it as being taken away which can happen anyway, but yeah, for Kagiura before this chapter, that was pretty much it. "I don't have to stop being with him if I marry him" kind of mindset. Based off his parents. That's important.

And it wasn't until Niibashi brought up some of the other aspects of romance (which is what Kagiura thought of it to be when he said he was in love with Hirano) that Kagiura really considered that his romance goes deeper than just being with him all the time and making him his, "marriage" as he thinks of it. Kagiura also wants to kiss him and touch him and everything else.

Kagiura bases his idea of marriage solely off of his parents. He doesn't talk about seeing other couples or reading manga and his relationship in middle school was superficial. He said he didn't see his parents kiss often, so he didn't think about kissing hirano. It's more like how his parents are really close, like best friends, and he's like that with Hirano (they are totally best friends and I love it) and that's part of the reason feelings started to develop.

Okay I'm moving on from that to come to the real point of this. Kagiura's romantic ideals are based off of his parents, and his parents are married and like best friends, so he that's how he had seen his relationship with Hirano going because yeah. That's what he thought he wanted.

Now Hirano on the other hand is like the exact opposite in regards to ideals. Hirano doesn't have an ideal like Kagiura for a romantic partner. He hasn't thought about it, he's never had a girlfriend even, he doesn't talk about his parents affections towards each other, etc. His ideals are based on his own conclusions, we can guess, and we also know that Kagiura is his ideal to an extent. That one extra when Kagiura asked "what's your ideal marriage partner" and this man said "someone like you". So yeah, Kagiura is technically his ideal, which is important.

Now we also know that Hirano is not only opening up to Kagiura's ideals to give him a chance, he's opening his own. Because things are not the way they were which we know is what he said many times that he wanted (post confession he says and implies that he wants things to stay the same) but now he's open to change and is enjoying some of that change. Much of that change he's actually enjoying.

So Hirano's changed, and his ideals have changed, and now as they are, Hirano's insanely invested in staying roommates with Kagiura. And I think that where he is now is similar as to where Kagiura was pre chapter 6 (that we really SAW in chapter 6). Basically, hirano also thinks of it as a means to an end in a way. He doesn't think of the after or what it means that they stay roommates. Hirano just wants to stay roommates him, he wants to see his hard work up close and personal, etc. Etc, and to do that, he wants to stay roommates with him. He doesn't think of staying with the person he enjoys being with all the time and wants to continue to be with as marriage like Kagiura does, or did. He thinks of it as just that. Staying with his physically. Being roommates with him again. Hell, in chapter 10 the thought of him graduating as they were kind of hurt him. He really doesn't want to part from him.

OKAY SO

TLDR kind of and a way of really organizing what I just said, it's basically like this

Kagiura pre-chapter 6: "I enjoy being with him and want to stay with him" --> "I want to marry him" based on his experience (parents)

Hirano present chapter 18: "I enjoy being with him and want to stay with him" --> "I want to stay roommates with him [so badly]" based on his lack of experience

Like Hirano's is honestly just as cut and dry as Kagiura's was. The difference is that Kagiura initially viewed it as romance because of his parents, and that's why it developed further as romance, but Hirano doesn't view it as romance at all, so he doesn't view it as such as it develops because currently there's no reason to. He's just doing what he has a desire to do and doesn't feel the need to attach anything to it, which is why part of me thinks that if he's gonna develop these romantic feelings and start realizing it is that someone's gonna have to confront him about it similar to how Niibashi confronted Kagiura about it. "Do you want to kiss him" probably won't work because the answer will probably be a fat NO lmao (at least for now),

But I shall present to you the fact that Hirano knows they touch all the time and to an extent, enjoys it (e.g. patting his head which he hasn't done since chapter 15 ("why did I try to pat his head just then") what's that about), and in chapter 18 when their fingers touch he's a little confused, maybe disappointed that Kagiura got so jumpy, maybe because he's realizing the difference in feelings that they have still, or maybe because touching Kagiura is so natural that the fact that it makes Kagiura jump is kind of unsettling to him.

The point I'm making here is that for someone to approach Hirano's current mindset to help him see it from a different lens, they can't use (solely or really explicit) romantic examples like Niibashi did for Kagiura because that's not how Hirano's seeing it. They can be implicit or rather something that could be both platonic or romantic, but it can't be "do you want to kiss him" until he realizes the possibility that his feelings ARE romantic and he lives that for a while. I don't really know what that could be yet but yeah.

Point is, I think currently, pre chapter 6 "I want to marry him" Kagiura and "I want to stay roommates with him" Hirano are on the same level of awareness. Which, actually, means we're getting somewhere.

I'm so sorry that this is long and if none of this made sense. But chapter 18 made me roll onto the floor and think of this, mostly because we all see the parallels of chapter 6 and 18 (the covers, and the last few panels of their hands touching or near touching and it causes something to happen blah blah story for another time).

#hirano to kagiura #hirakagi #hirano taiga #kagiura akira #hirano and kagiura #kagihira #good lord this is long #chapter 18 #hirano realization arc i see it #also theyre so best friends

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yerbamansa · 1 year

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Got tagged by @epersonae! Thanks! So I will tag other writer mutuals if you wanna have a go and/or didn't already get tagged (i keep losing track of tumblr scroll tbh): @thetragicallynerdy @alfalfairy @whose-modern-au-is-this @dragonmuse @sassygwaine @keriocabinet

Do you write in order? Generally, yes. Every once in awhile I'll have a scene or a little piece of something that gets written as it comes to mind, but it's often outline->write. The outlining/brainstorming process (as much as it is a process) is where the order happens.

This is notably not the case with Ask Me Anything, though, which is a collab and timey-wimey to boot, so lots of stuff needed to get figured out of order. We still haven't finished writing the chapter we're in the middle of posting, but the next one is finished and the rest are kinda 50/50 or 60/40.

How fully formed does your writing come out the first try? Gonna say a good 85-95%?? Depends on the story and whether I'm getting other eyes on it before posting. Most of Revenge Ranch got written and posted with a cursory read-through for glaring errors. Kitchen Mistakes & How To Avoid Them, though, tends to have its word count/phrasing fluctuate like 10-15% every chapter thanks to a delightfully nitpicky beta reader.

How many drafts do you go through? I don't really draft, per se? I spit it out, I review it, I get feedback (sometimes), I make changes, annnnd I'm done. Well, I guess that's technically drafting phases, but it tends to be less thorough than what I'm picturing.

Tell me about your process. I get an idea. It takes hold of my entire goddamn brain. I am compelled to start writing it down in some loose structure, usually bulleted lists, just to get it out of my brain. Sometimes the idea keeps growing, almost self-propelled (All That I Need Is You And The Sea). Sometimes it incubates a bit before it comes together, and needs to keep being formed and re-formed as it goes (Kitchen Mistakes), but the idea is still kind of in charge, if that makes sense.

Other times, I really need to work at it, like, I know I want to do something with X character, but I need to do some background research, think about what my goals are for the thing, make notes on the POV character, etc. I put a lot of time into breaking down Revenge Ranch Roach for his POV story last fall, and that was kind of like pulling teeth, though I'm happy with the result. I think this version of the process might end up with more of "me" in it. Maybe because I have to work at connecting to it.

While I'm actually writing, I typically try to keep some VERY simple/high-level notes handy--like the key plot points/character notes to hit--but abandon the rest. Exception: if the background research includes some specific entity (object, video, song, etc.) I need to describe/reference in the story itself. Even if I don't feel like I'm in a 'flow' state or whatever, often I'll just sit there and try to start pecking out some dialog or description of wherever I'm at, and it starts to move along, or doesn't.

Sometimes I have to flit through a lot of background noise to find the right vibe for my brain at a given moment. The nicest, though, is finding one of those "8hr ambient aesthetic vibes" videos on YouTube that is kinda close to the setting I'm writing. There's a road trip Revenge Ranch story that I wrote while watching someone's dashcam video of a drive through New Mexico. I watched a TON of thunderstorm videos for a couple other entries. A chapter of Kitchen Mistakes that took place in Stede's study was helped along by one of those "evening fireplace and rain sounds" ambient videos. Fuckin' love those videos. It hits a sweet spot of noise (without lyrics or too much rhythm) and background imagery like watching TV, but without all the distraction.

In terms of technical settings: I like writing in LibreOffice when I can, but if I'm collaborating at all, it has to be GDocs. And I am a heavy user of headings/outlines in that case. I have a half-assed AO3 post template in LibreOffice with places for notes etc. to copy and paste in order. I've been known to make a spreadsheet when shit gets very complicated. My brain loves little boxes. I don't write on my phone except maybe some notes to self in Signal for ideas that come up when I'm not at my laptop. Love a physical keyboard and multiple windows, mmm, room to spread out and see lots of shit at once.

#my stuff #am writing #tag meme #good lord this is long #scroll scroll scroll #archem finish writing chapter 8 challenge

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asukamood · 2 years

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Argument

Warnings: Angst, like heavy angst. Blue being extremely bad at emotions and relationships with people, triggered PTSD, Blue rejecting reflection, him also being unable to think a healthy relationship is possible and a hella lot of tears. Mostly Blue centric.

Synopsis: Blue’s ability to understand how emotions and relationships work is like his birthday, a joke. He one day decided to sneak into an off-limits room to distract himself from a slight problem and Dream, who caught him red-handed, is not happy about that. Initially angry, the latter quickly turns horrified because Blue accidentally breaks something important to him. What followed is simple, Dream starts to ignore Blue’s attempts to contact him and the latter is terrified of the other leaving him alone. Now, how will this predicament end exactly?

3747 words as an apology to dying. I’ve never felt more single in my entire life.

***

There’s a room in Justice Reigns that is forbidden for almost anyone to step in. It is so well kept in fact that even Ink, Dream’s right hand, was forbidden access to it too. Very few people knew why Dream didn’t want anyone to go into that room and even fewer people had enough guts to question the CEO so most people simply ignored its existence, avoiding it at all costs in fear of attracting the wrath of the radiant. Dream was calm and composed most of the time but the thought of having him angry was enough to make most people shiver so no one dared to.

No one, apart of course from Blue.

He was a strange specimen, to say the least. No one knew where he came from and if he had any family, or what his surname was. A lot had the suspicion that his name was a fake one too but no proof ever came to support that theory. But the strangest thing about him may be his ability to get information on people.

Many have testified a certain… discomfort when talking to him. They said he had that strange smile that told them he knew exactly what they were going to say or how they were going to behave, he was also aware of their personal life and their past which freaked people out.

You see, Blue is a pretty curious man, fascinated by the human mind and all that it encompasses. But his curiosity was only just one factor of two, the other reason why he always made sure to gather so much information on people before talking to them was simply to make sure he wouldn’t say something upsetting or so.

Despite his extroverted nature, Blue didn’t get to have that many social interactions and doesn’t have many friends either if at all. Papyrus had always made sure to make his life a living inferno without any way of escaping so it was only natural for him not to let Blue be able to talk to anyone.

Then, he was stuck inside the anti-void for quite some time before finally being able to move around. That’s when he met Myriad, well, Error. He was his first-ever friend so it was expected that he would mess up quite a bit on the first try. Messing up he did, because of everything he has gone through, he had the mindset of breaking people before they could break him but the worst thing? He isn’t even aware of it as reflection scares the living life out of him.

It could be of fear to discover he’s way more similar to his brother than he would like, or maybe he’s simply scared of the things he would discover about himself. Either way, he isn’t conscious of his actions and genuinely believes that he has done nothing wrong.

Of course, this couldn’t be any more wrong as he did give Error PTSD by trying to ‘help’ him. He had good intentions but growing up in such an abusive environment does things to a person so he had no clue on how to properly help, thus causing this entire dilemma.

It caused Error to leave and since he refuses to talk to Blue, the latter has no idea what he did wrong. Not being quite an expert in relationships with people, he simply assumed that one wrong move would drive the person to leave and never come back.

It’s a well-known fact that Blue loathes silence with every cell in his body, but another that may be overlooked is that he is lonely. Even when surrounded by people, that nagging feeling of being by oneself kept haunting him so that’s why he was so overjoyed when he discovered that being in Dream’s presence lessened that feeling considerably.

Whether it was because of his aura or his actions in general, Blue couldn’t give less of a damn. He did care, however, when he realized that he was falling in love. At first, it was surprising and confusing, and while most people would have freaked out rolling on their bed and crying, Blue instead found it curious and just went on with his usual flirting. The only real change is that his flirts now had true meaning and weren’t just thrown around for fun.

It took Dream a painfully long time to get the hint and an even longer time for him to accept going out with Blue, and while the latter did want to bang his head on the wall multiple times during that, he can safely say that the wait was worth it. Ever since he was with Dream, he had never felt so happy in his entire life.

Something was starting to feel amiss though. While he still wanted to stay with him, he felt some… changes in his feelings about Dream. In the beginning, he would feel butterflies in his stomach every time the winged man touched him in any way and while he did still feel some kind of satisfaction when that happened, it wasn’t like before. The butterflies were gone.

When he realized that, he freaked out. Dream was his first-ever love interest and partner so, like his friendship with Error, he was bound not to understand what was happening and assumed he was beginning to fall out of love. That got him to panic even more as he had no clue on how to deal with this and instead of asking for help, he did what most of us would do in times of a problem arising, he pretended like the problem didn’t exist.

But for that to work well, he needed a distraction and he has heard a lot about that room and all the entry restrictions. His decision was made pretty quickly.

He knew that this room once belonged to the late Ani, a very good ‘friend’ of Dream in the past, which was why he didn’t want anyone inside it. By making people leave that room alone, it felt like they were still with him. Because of that, no one really knew what that room was like, even Blue. He has dug a long way in the JR archives and more, yet, nothing showed up so he absolutely wanted to see it.

He snuck in the room on a Friday afternoon, a beautiful day when the sun was out and smiling with a pleasant breeze accompanying its rays to caress your cheek occasionally. He looked around, not finding anything particular about it apart from that one wooden box placed on top of the desk.

His interest picked, he approached to open it but just as he did that, he heard the familiar sound of teleporting behind him. He didn’t think much about it and just let out an usual greeting paired with the good old pet name Angel.

He didn’t really fear Dream’s reaction at finding him here since the latter had let him touch and look at extremely confidential documents before without batting an eyelid. While he was expecting to be scolded a little, he didn’t think that Dream would get this upset at him.

The winged man didn’t greet him back.

“What are you doing here?” He finally let out, hardly contained anger in his voice. That got Blue to stop focusing on the box and instead turn around, confused at his reaction.

“I was curious?” He felt lost now. Was he actually mad?

“You were curious?” Dream repeated, starting to shake. “You know that room is off-limits Blue, give me a reason as to why you’re here and one that I can accept.” He stepped closer and Blue’s lungs found that time absolutely perfect to give up on him.

He took a step back, forcing himself to suck in a deep breath. He was safe. Dream wouldn’t hurt him. He had to breathe.

The other’s mouth moved but Blue didn’t— actually no, he couldn’t hear him. He took another step toward him and in response, Blue another one back.

He bumped into the table, which made the wooden box stumble from the shock and fall to the ground. Due to its age, it was quick to shatter into pieces, bringing a necklace down with it.

Blue jumped away from the noise, his panic only increasing farther at that. Dream wasn’t going to hurt him, he wasn’t going to harm him. He had to breathe. These thoughts repeated in his head like a mantra as he watched Dream’s expression going from one to shock and then to one of horror as he hurried to collect what remained of the box.

He slowly turned to glance at Blue, a mix of anger and hurt on his eyes. He seemed ready to shout but upon seeing Blue’s expression, he inhaled and exhaled deeply, forcing himself to at least remain civil.

“I think it would be better if you left now.” He returned his attention to the wooden carcass across the floor, mindlessly trying to put it back together.

“Dream I—“

“Please.” He squeaked out with a voice crack at Blue’s unresponsiveness, which finally got the other to go away.

***

He fucked up. So bad.

It was Sunday afternoon now and during the entire time, Blue hadn’t got any kind of message from Dream. He had tried to call him, multiple times actually, but all of his calls were left unanswered just as his texts had been.

He liked to think of himself as someone who didn’t cry much, but the knowledge that he had hurt Dream, breaking something that was probably important to him, and the possibility of him leaving him for good made him let out any tears he could possibly shed.

His unanswered calls really weren’t helping him feel better, it actually made him feel even worse.

He was pacing back and forth in his room now, his phone resting on his desk as he debated whether or not he should retry calling him or see him directly. He hasn’t tried that one yet but it was mostly because he didn’t want to make things worse than it already was.

He was on his 26th circle around his room when his phone suddenly vibrated violently, shaking the desk. Not expecting that, Blue was shocked at first, flinching at the noise.

After two seconds of processing why his phone would vibrate like that, Blue’s eyes suddenly widened and he hurried to it, snatching it off the table. He was honestly expecting his hope to be crushed down immediately, perhaps it was just a notification that he received on a random app and he would have to go back to wallowing in despair alone in his room.

But no, his phone lit up to a text notification with the name “Angel boy 💛” written in a big bold font. He took a deep breath and prepared himself psychologically before letting his eyes wander down to the rest of the pop-up.

I want to talk to you.

That… wasn’t going to end well, was it? Well at least he didn’t write “we need to talk” so perhaps there was still a chance for things to go well?

Is it okay if I come to your house at 6? It’s fine if not, I can try to contact you tomorrow if that’s the case.

Oh absolutely not. He didn’t spend two entire days waiting impatiently just to end up waiting another day again.

He swiped on the message to access it, unlocked his phone before typing furiously on the screen.

Yes, it’s fine. I’ll be there.

Three fading dots appeared on the screen and he held his breath in expectation.

I’ll see you later then, I still have work to do.

He clicked on the writing bar but instead of typing, his fingers hovering over the keys without ever touching them. He was extremely tempted to answer “don’t overwork yourself this time, take care Angel” like he usually would but he didn’t really know if he really had the right to now.

He groaned in frustration before finally typing it and sending it.

The dots appeared and disappeared for an entire minute.

I won’t, you take care too.

***

It was 5:50. Dream was going to come any moment now and before that, Blue was dead set on being prepared for any kind of scenario. He had gone over all possible scenarios possible and settled for three that were likely to happen.

Scenario A: Dream would break up with him but at least he had the decency to do it in person rather than with a text.

Scenario B: Dream wouldn’t officially break up but would tell him to never show up in front of his face ever again and would give him the silent treatment until he was satisfied with his suffering.

Scenario C: Full on fight.

He didn’t like any of these scenarios but from the state of things, they were the most likely to happen and he definitely did not want to have a mental breakdown in front of Dream if they were to happen. He had a solution for each scenario and had carefully thought of every reply to tell him, rehearsing the lines in his head like a mantra.

In the middle of his rehearsal, the doorbell rang which almost made him jump out of his skin. He was here, like, right now.

“Coming!” He shouted out, speed walking to the door. When his hand found the handle, Blue noticed just how much he was shaking. He was going to have to fix that quickly. He took a sharp inhale before swinging the doors open, revealing the one he has been thinking about without rest for the past two days.

He hardly looked any better than Blue did which kinda reassured the latter in some kind of twisted way. Dream’s lips awkwardly curved upward in a crooked smile as he let out a quiet “Hello” that was so low Blue must have been the only one to hear it.

For a moment, he had the insane urge to throw himself in his arms and kiss him like there was no tomorrow. To pretend like Dream’s awkwardness was due to not yet being used to taking him on a date and not because of a fight. But this probably would have made everything worse if Blue’s scenarios were accurate so instead, he smiled back as awkwardly as he did, greeting him back.

He stepped aside and let Dream enter before closing the door behind them, his heart thumping loudly inside of his rib cage. They both stepped into the living room without a word, before sitting down side by side on one of the couches.

Blue was trying to hide his fidgeting as much as he could but at least he wasn’t the only one nervous, he noticed Dream playing with his fingers in the corner of his eyes. “So, you wanted to talk to me?” He finally said, breaking the silence.

Dream nodded, the playing of his fingers getting more intense. “Yeah. I wanted to say that-“ He frowned and looked down. “I’m sorry.”

Blue froze, his brain seemingly short circuiting. Wait what? That was not one of the options… Maybe this is a prequel to scenario B? It must be it right? “… What for?” Or perhaps it was scenario A instead? Maybe he was apologizing for leaving him?

“Well first for ghosting you like that, that wasn’t very nice of me.” Blue didn’t really blame him for that, if Dream had broken something important to Blue he wouldn’t forgive him that easily either. It was already a wonder that he came to talk to him so soon, even though it felt like an eternity to Blue. “But most importantly… I wanted to apologize for yelling at you like that. I didn’t want to scare you, I was just… mad.”

Seeing that Blue wasn’t saying anything, he continued rambling. “I’m really sorry for the way I acted, I probably reminded you of… not so lovely memories and I—“

Before he could finish his sentence, Blue held up a finger to his lips, successfully shutting him up. “You’re… Not going to leave?”

Dream paused, he apparently wasn’t expecting that question and especially not the way it was said. “No, of course not.” He replied softly as Blue let out the breath he was holding.

“Why would I?” His golden eyes were filled with confusion, like the idea has never once crossed his mind. “While I would have liked you to ask me before doing what you did, it didn’t change the way I feel about you. As for the box… well, it’s not like you meant to break it. Plus, the most important item didn’t get damaged beyond repair so I’m not too mad. Although, you should really ask next time instead of sneaking—“

He abruptly stopped talking, concern making its way on his face. The winged man cupped the other’s cheek and it’s at that moment that Blue realized his vision was unusually blurry and that something wet was rolling down his cheek. He was crying.

“Are you okay?” His lips trembled for a few seconds before he threw himself at the other, burying his face into his shoulder and sobbing on the fabric. As a response, Dream circled his arms around his waist and rubbed little circles on his back with his hand, letting him cry freely.

“I’m sorry.” He managed to choke out between sobs, squeezing Dream tighter into his arms. “I thought you-“ A hiccup. “I thought you would have started hating me because of—“

“Blue.” Dream cut him off, slightly pushing him off of him to make him look him in the eye. Blue sniffled, his teary gaze met Dream’s stoned one.

“I’m gonna tell you something and you’ll listen to me really well okay?” The shorter one nodded, nuzzling Dream’s palm while waiting.

“I love you. I really love you which means that it doesn’t matter what happens. We may get into a fight like this week, we may mutually screw up, we may want to take a break from each other for some time but I’ll always come back to you, no matter what.

I may not feel the same way I did before with all the butterflies and stuff but I’m staying anyway because I want to stay. You have your flaws, your imperfections and other points of view that I don’t agree with. I see them, I’m not ignoring them, but I choose you anyway because you’re the one I want.

You could screw me a thousand times over, I would just come back a thousand times over. You could hurt my feelings a hundred times but I would forgive you each time because for better or for worse, you’re the one I love. There will be times when you hurt me, and there will be times when I hurt you. We’re imperfect but it doesn’t matter, we’re going to go past it and find a solution to the problem, together.

Whether it’s your best or your worst, I love you either way. Because when you truly love someone you’ll accept both flaws and qualities because those two things are what makes us humans. I’ll cry with you when you are, I’ll laugh when you’ll smile, I’ll comfort you in your losses and celebrate your successes and I know you’ll do the same for me, because I trust you.

I would tell you about my biggest fears, my wildest dreams, my hardest memories, pretty much everything and I know you’ll listen without any judgment because again, I trust and love you.

I don’t need to worry about you cheating or getting mad at me for a petty reason because I know that you’re not like that and that you wouldn’t do this to me. You have your issues but that’s fine, so do I. I know that I would tell you if you do anything that makes me uncomfortable and you’ll do your best to fix that, and I also know that you’ll do so as well.

Our relationship is not perfect, but it’s the one I want.

In five, ten or even twenty years, I’ll stay by your side if you’ll let me because I’ll want to.

I don’t feel the same way I did about you the first time I saw you but I now feel something that runs even deeper down. I may have lost the butterflies but I certainly didn’t lose my fear of watching you leave.

I don’t care what will happen next because I want to keep loving you, forever.”

Dream took a deep breath after that, cheeks coloured red. He smiled softly at Blue who was furiously wiping at his eyes.

“You’re seriously going to be the death of me one day.” He huffed, hugging him again. Then, he straightened up in a way that made his mouth stand right next to his ear. A quiet ‘thank you’ was let out, a thousand emotions swelling together in his voice. But Dream was right, they were going to be okay. “I love you too, so much, you have no idea.”

The blond hummed. “That wasn’t too cheesy though was it?”

“Oh it totally was but I love that, you should say those types of things more often.” Dream let out an embarrassed laugh, he would never be able to say those things on a daily basis, even with training. “Although… I really am sorry about the box and going inside the room without permission. I—“

Dream shut him up with a kiss. “I’ve already forgiven you, let it go already.”

Blue nodded but his expression immediately switched to a pout. “Alright but you definitely owe me warm cuddles. For the next two days I demand double the usual cuddles to make up for the last two.”

The winged man let out a laugh, the noise sounding like Heaven’s bells in Blue’s perspective. Dream pressed a quick kiss to his forehead before mindlessly playing with his hair. “That won’t be any problem.”

“And Dream?”

“Yes?”

“I love you.”

“I must have heard that twice since the last ten minutes sweetheart.”

“Important things should always be said twice so in that sense, Dream Dream—“

“Oh stop it you doof, you’re gonna make me blush.”

“Please, you know you love it.”

“You’re the one who said it, of course I will.”

#dreamswap #ds dream #fluff #angst #ship #dream #ds blue #drueswap #ds dreamberry #ds drue #ds drueswap #ds dream x ds blue #i need more content about this ship #i will go down with this ship #hurt/comfort #angst with a happy ending #good lord this is long #they both need therapy

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polarsirens · 1 month

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i am not at all caught up with fantasy high freshman and sophomore year but i’ve jumped into the middle of things and this today nearly made me bawl

life kinda sucks and i haven’t time to enjoy my comfort media but junior year’s been…. it’s really been a wonderful thing to have this to look forward to every week

#dimension 20 #fantasy high junior year #fantasy high junior year spoilers #fhjy #d20 #fhjy spoilers #d20 spoilers #ayda aguefort #figueroth faeth #my art #hello people. how long has it been good lord #deepest thanks to the phoenix lover whom i only know by her absence #and the most poetic and romantic letter i’ve read in a long time

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lazylittledragon · 5 months

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Hello I love your bg3 content and your Dorian is so lovely! Can we get like an alternative reality with Dorian and Ascended Astarion? What would your headcannon be for them? 🙇

something like this, probably

#bg3 #baldur's gate 3 #astarion #tavstarion #ascended astarion #tw blood #long post #i may have gotten carried away with this #the only good thing dorian got out of being vampire lord astarion's concubine was a lovely bedchamber and a dramatic robe #i think dorian's attitude to a lot of things is 'it can't be that bad' until it is very very very bad #'maybe he won't be that bad' until you've been locked in a palace for decades and there's nothing left for you to love anymore #i got nauseous writing this i HATE him #it was such a delicious prompt though and i can't say i never thought about it #also i didn't realise until after i wrote it that this was how interview with the vampire ends. nvm

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deboracabral · 9 months

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it is my strongly held belief that the reason why beelzebub and gabriel worked out so fast is because they thought there was precedent. ah yes demon and angel fell in love it’s happened before no biggie…..unless

they gotta feel a little grateful in their own weird way

#Good omens #archangel gabriel #lord beelzebub #ineffable bureaucracy #ineffable husbands #doodle #comic #they never thought of themselves as trailblazers yall #Also I’m manifesting long hair Crowley for season 3 #wow i've been drawing so much thanks brainrot

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and-corn · 1 month

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puppetmaster13u · 1 month

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Prompt 283

Now Jason would like it known that there was no mpreg situation going on. He isn’t even sure where people got that idea in the first place. Sure, he had taken a few Cores from the goons-in-white who had dared to set up in his turf.

And sure maybe the excess energy from the pit (no wonder he’d been so irritable) was what said baby halfas (Okay, so they’re half human? Alright) had used to reform. And maybe the oldest is visibly less than a year old.

But there Was No Mpreg Situation! He is this close to shooting someone! It was annoying (and slightly amusing) when it was just his goons, but now the Bats have seemingly got it in their heads! Dear Gotham it’s a good thing he’s not planning on like, ever revealing who he is because he would never be able to live this rumor down.

[Winged Ghosts Au too, that seems to be getting lost in reblogs when it's just in the tags lol]

#DCxDP #DPxDC #Prompts #Winged Ghosts Au #Halfa Jason #Halfa Trio #Dad Hood #He is *This* close to pulling a heads in duffel bag 2 Electric Boogaloo #Hood’s Merry Men are concerned for their half-human teen-dad crime lord #Look if you tell someone there was no other parent they’re gonna ask questions #Crime Alley: This is our strange cryptid mom-person and we shall protect him #Star Core Jason #Space Core Danny #Life Core Sam #Storm Core Tucker #Jason was too panicked/sleep deprived when they first reformed to stop the initial rumors #Yes the tiny halfas can feed on his ecto as long as they’re close enough #He Was going to find them a good home but they’ve Bonded & he’s not sure if the GIW are still around #The goons are doing their best to keep the bats from their teen-mom crimelord #who when sleep deprived sometimes mutters about labs and beatings and warehouses and-#There are many misunderstandings

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obsob · 8 months

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the accolade ( the...the cat-olade...)

#mine #original #i cannot even begin to explain the anguish. the torment. this drawing has brought me #and i STILL dont like it. i simply cant work on it any longer i cant i cant. i must be rid of it #eating drywall as we speak #you want to know how many weeks ive worked on this. THREE. ALMOST.#you want to know how long my other cat drawings take me ?? 3 days absolute MAX #anyway. begon foul creature etc #i havent left extremely long tags for a long while hello everyone good lord there are many of you #we are going stratford this weekend very exciting #its going to be a little chilly and i want to take my new coat with me but issue its not chilly right now so i cant wear it onto the train #i do not think. i can. stuff it into my suitcase i dont think that will happen #i am sure i will figure it out #also. no longer vegan . eggs have won me over. egg egg egg.#im having to restrain myself SO hard from buying more wool i want a shawl i want a shawl #i want more cute DRESSES why are nice comfy dresses 10000£#i look on vinted and its like dresses for popping your pussy in like not. the vibe im going for thank u #anyway. im going to eat crackers now

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canisalbus · 2 months

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I dunno if this is going to start some sort of trend that sweeps the tumblrscape... but I couldn't resist...

#I can't #double Vasco #PANTALONES MON DIEU #good lord #I have no words #gift art #bluewingedcoyote #own characters #Vasco #Machete #I can already sense “pantalones mon dieu” permeating into my long term memory #Vasco(s) please put some pants on already

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spoopdeedoop · 4 months

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spicynoodles as the doctor and river song and YES i know this is a stretch but my target audience is myself and i do not care

#this is so hilariously self indulgent idk if anyone else will appreciate this #my art #lmk #lego monkie kid #lego monkie kid fanart #monkie kid #monkie kid fanart #lmk fanart #doctor who #spicynoodles #lmk spicynoodles #qi xiaotian #long xiaojiao #lmk mk #lmk mei #lmk red son #spicynoodles fanart #bbc doctor who #good lord. this is embarrassing

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dameronalone · 5 months

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thinking about how percy jackson is seen as intimidating because of his godly powers from his father but the thing that makes him the most dangerous is his humanity from his mother

#I like to think that's the point but still #percy jackson #pjo #pjo tv #obsessed with this kid bc he only cares abt the 'cause' as long as it aligns with his interests which is keeping his family safe #THATS why he's so intimidating to everyone #because yes he IS extremely powerful #but it's the the ruthlessness to protect the drive he has the utter determination that makes it so much of a threat #like in tlt just the sheer determination he has to bring back Sally. jfc kid I've met adults with less spine than you #HE WAS TWELVE. GOOD LORD MAN #obsessed with this kid I love him #like percy didn't get that loyalty and devotion from his *father* that was all Sally baby #loyalty to the point of it being his fatal flaw. yeah. not his dad. not the divine ichor. that's all humanity

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emmyrosee · 13 days

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Can we talk about how rintaro probably swallows your engagement ring by accident?

Honestly? Okay listen… Do you think he swallows it? I think he swallows it.

Because like okay. Rintaro puts a ton of planning behind everything he does, he wants to make your engagement this massive scene out of a movie because you’re out of a movie; you swooped into his life and showed him the path he wants to be on, the one that always leads back to you.

But like. Why would everything not crumble around him each and every time he tries to work up the courage to finally pop that four word phrase?

It was supposed to be simple. It was supposed to be easy.

An engagement ring, propped on some frosting on the center of the cake, ready for you to scoop up and slip on and give him an excited yes and the world would clap and he’d get a Nobel prize or something for such an extravagant proposal.

Except. That doesn’t happen.

The first bite Rintaro takes, he shovels in his mouth nervously, and there’s a massive shock to his teeth when they clank down hard on the ring on his cake.

How he didn’t notice? How the waiter messed them up? He blames it on the waiter.

Him swallowing the ring..? Yeah no. That’s got him written all over it.

His nerves just got the best of him and sends the large diamond down his throat, eyes bulging out as he realizes. He chokes briefly, grabbing his wine and gulping it down to wash the jewelry down.

Uh oh.

“Baby?” You ask. “Something wrong?”

“…nope.”

The rest of dinner is silent, you trying desperately to make conversation and his mind going insane trying to process what to do next.

Your engagement ring, the object that completely envelops your love in a physical sense is floating in the acids of his stomach, and who knows what the next step in the plan is.

He dreads it.

The car ride is complete silence, you occasionally clearing your throat or sighing to try and strike a conversation, but Rin’s mind is on a complete other planet, trying to make a map of his next move and how to get the ring 1.) out of his body and 2.) to you.

Is he really going to give you a ring he ate? He can’t. That’s vile. But he can’t spend the money on another one, even if it is more than worth it to spend it on you, and-

“Rin,” you whisper, touching his thigh. “You just blew a red light.”

“Damn- I’m sorry,” he apologizes.

“Don’t be sorry… is everything alright?”

“Just fine.”

“Are you mad at me?”

His foot slams hard, hard on the breaks, causing commotion behind him as the wailing of car horns fills the air. “God, baby, no, of course not!”

“Then why have you been so quiet?” You ask sadly.

“I can’t tell you.” Out of embarrassment and stupidity, he thinks to himself.

You leave it at that. You go quiet again, and when he makes a move to rest his hand on your thigh, you turn away, and his whole heart sinks.

The rest of the ride home drags on. There’s no more attempts of noise, no more sighs or clearing of throats, only the roar of the engine for a few more miles until you get home. He barely gets the chance to park the car before you’re out and storming up the driveway, clearly upset with the situation. He sighs and follows you in, and you’ve hiked up the stairs to the bathroom. He winces at the slam of the door, and he’s quick to call osamu for advice.

Advice that the twin gives him around countless gawfs of unhelpful, judgmental laughter.

He tells Rintaro to calm down and stop being weird towards you- take a spoonful of laxatives mixed in with water and let the body “process” for as long as it needs to. Get you a new ring, trash the old one and mourn the loss of money after you two get engaged.

He sighs and ends the call, making his way to the upstairs bathroom where he keeps the medicine. You brush past him in a towel, refusing to acknowledge him or his presence with so much as a “hmph.”

The shower he takes alone is cold, his mind is loud and his heart is pounding and his stomach queases for more than a few reasons. How could he have messed this up so badly? It was supposed to be cute! Just flashy enough for him to flaunt you, but simple enough to not be messed up.

Yet he messed it up.

Rintaro dries himself and makes his way into the bedroom, where you’re already burrowed under the covers on your side of the bed. He throws on some form of pajama before making his way downstairs to make his laxative drink.

One tablespoon of laxative mixed with water, allow body to process for one day before repeating, let all powder dissolve before drinking- he follows every single one of the thorough instructions completely, and he starts to drink the concoction with a scowl of disgust.

The hell is this made out of?

“What’re you still doing up?” You ask, and he swallows the last of the laxative with a wince.

“Couldn’t sleep,” he confesses. Then, he sighs and turns to face you, and your face tells him everything he needs to know.

You’re still upset.

“Listen,” he begins, carding a massive hand through his hair. “About tonight. It was absolutely nothing you did. It was my fault, and my annoyance and attitude had nothing to do with you.”

“Okay,” you sigh, but there’s an unconvinced lilt in your voice.

“I wanted this to be a perfect night, I wanted it to go so well-“

“Rinnie?”

“And I’m sorry, about my silence in the restaurant,” he sniffles, big hands pressing against his face and rubbing roughly. “The chef was supposed to put it on our cakes and his little rat waiter messed it up, and-“

“Put what on our cakes?”

“YOUR ENGAGEMENT RING!” He groans in complete agony. “Your ring! Fuck! I tried so hard to make the perfect proposal, and I just wanted it to be beautiful-“

“My… my ring?”

“Uh…. Yeah?”

“My engagement ring?”

Your bottom lip wobbles, and he feels like he’s going to upchuck every bit of food he’s ever eaten.

Though that may not be the worst thing at this point.

“You wanna marry me?” You wail, collapsing to your knees in excitement. He perks up slightly, slipping of his seat to join you on the floor.

“Of course I want to marry you,” he confesses. “God, I’ve… I’ve wanted to marry you for the past three years, I got the ring perfect four months ago.” He blinks out a line of tears to mimic yours, and you cup his cheeks in your trembling palms. “But every time I tried to propose, something went wrong, and I… I didn’t know how to do it anymore. I’m sorry baby…”

“Rintaro,” you say softly, chuckling around the your quivering voice. “I never needed a big proposal. Ever. All I ever want is for you to promise me we’ll be together. And that’s more than enough.”

His face softens before he lets a hand smack his face in obliviousness, disappointed in himself that he got so lost in trying to impress you that he almost didn’t.

“Put it on me!” You squeal, holding out your hand. He turns a scarlet red and looks away.

“I uh… I can’t.”

You deflate slightly, and he gives you an embarrassed smile. “Why not?” You whimper, emotionally fried from the rollercoaster he just put you on.

“I don’t have it.”

“What!”

“I mean, technically i do,” he says, gnawing his lip. “But I… uhm… I can’t give it to you yet. I uh… I need a few days. And… a few cleaners to look at it.” He gives you a shy chuckle and his toothy grin is mixed with frightened eyes, and your own widen. “The uhm… the ring was on the cake…”

Your hands clasp over your mouth, tears immediately drying and replacing with small, choked and stifled laughter.

“You didn’t,” you manage. He nods, uncomfortable. “Did… did you eat my ring, Rintaro?”

“It wasn’t my fault! Damn waiter gave us the wrong cakes!”

“AND YOU SWALLOWED IT?”

“I WAS NERVOUS, OKAY?”

“RINTARO!”

You two clutch each other on the cold kitchen floor as you laugh, heads knocking against each other as you steal kisses from between cackles.

“I’ve got an idea,” he says once you’ve both seemed to calm down, and he quickly pops on his feet to grab the bread on the counter. With the twist tie, he takes it off the bread and makes his way back to you. “Give me your hands.”

The tie only fits around the top part of your ring finger, and you sniffle softly at how silly and sweet this whole thing is.

“We’re gonna get married,” he says between an emotional wheeze. “And we’re going to grow old together, have our nine dogs and four cats.”

“No kids?”

“Ew gross.”

“Yeah, sure, as if you don’t bend to my every whim bro.” You shift slightly to rest your back against his chest, curling against his still sitting frame. “And our kids are going to love the Miyas-“

“Because you love the Miya’s. I have nothing to do with that.”

“As if Osamu’s not going to be your best man,” you scoff. He smirks and buries his face in your hair, listening to your words weave through his brain and calming him down from the disaster of a night.

Then, he hums, “you want to take my last name?” He asks, and you give him a small swat on the leg. “What! Im just asking!”

“Of course I’m going to take your last name,” you say, turning your head up to face him. “It’s all I’ve ever wanted.”

“Yeah?” He asks breathlessly, tearing up again when you nod.

“You’re all I’ve ever wanted.”

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