#hate this but im sick and this is all i have in me

[apieceoftoastedbread]

i just finished working boys. holy shit??/pos

mentions of show spoilers under cut

SO. welcome to my ted talk. i just finished working boys. what. the. FUCK. but like in a good way. i loved it! i watched it with my dad kinda and i was giggling the entire time. i love rob as hidgens but if hidgens was anyone else BESIDES jeff i would have honestly not felt the same about it. jeff did great in the whole thing.

also, RUTHH!!.., MY BABY💔💔 SHE DID NO WRONG. IT WAS HER DEBUT☹️ she did great and i loved the few seconds of screentime she had.

the people in the audience were also making my tism alarm go off. if i can recall it was bill, ted, officer bailey, ms mulberry, richie, grace, gerald, linda, and brenda? those are all the people i can remember. seeing richie and grace go to see ruth actually made me go crazy i love them all SO MUCH. i wanna take richie and shake him. Ted was being a little asshole as always/pos. poor bill was abandoned. AND GERALD AND LINDA? oh my god i love them. i have a love-hate relationship with linda except she doesnt know who i am and would spit on me and i love her but also need her to suffer. I wanted to take the scene where him and linda are cuddling and just stay there forever. officer bailey made me laugh but also how is that man a cop. he just handed grace the gun?? ALSO GRACE IS SO BADASS BUT SHES CRAZY?? SUPPORT WOMENS WRONGS!! she started saying sumthing about the lord and i got chills.

the dead workin boys?? that was so sick what??

LIKE?? JON ILY YOU SCARE ME SO MUCH/pos. THIS WAS A JUMPSCARE BUT A GOOD ONE.

I LOVE THIS TOO? I FOR THE LIFE OF ME CANNOT TELL WHO THIS IS BUT THEY LOOK SO SCARY AND SICK I LOVE IT

RAHH I LOVE THIS LOOK. I LOVE HOW THEY ARE ALL COMING OUT OF THE MOST UNNATURAL PLACES.

OH MARK YOU SCARE ME SO MUCH MY UNSETTLING LITTLE BABY❤️ PLEASE NEVER SHOW UP AGAIN

THIS IS SUCH A BAD ANGLE BUT ITS STILL SO GOOD?? THEY ALL LOOK SO AWESOME

IDK IF ITS ALL MAKEUP OR CGI OR A MIX BUT WHOEVER DID IT DID GREAT.

THE MUSIC WAS AMAZING. LIKE IDK IF THIS IS ON SPOTIFY OR NOT OR IF I GOTTA UPLOAD WHAT I CAN FIND PRIVATELY FOR MYSELF. STARKID I LOVE YOU.

ALSO THE UNCANNYNESS OF PROFESSOR HIDGENS LAST WORDS BEING “i cant wait to get home to my boys..” WHILE BEING SHOT AT BY GRACE. HE JUST WANTED TO IMPRESS HIS BOYFRIENDS ☹️

uhm uhm im gonna shut up now because my brain is being overwhelmed by over analyzing this but please please please talk to me about this

#starkid #workin boys #working boys #grace chasity #professor henry hidgens #professor hidgens #ruth fleming #hatchetfield #gerald monroe #linda monroe #richie lipschitz #ted spankoffski #bill woodward

[val-cansalute]

summary: - a prologue of sorts - you and ellie will never be the same. the words you exchange are so deep seated and visceral, an accumulation of all the hurt. hers are telling; the love she gives is nothing like yours, nowhere near as intense, nowhere near as desperate. she’s closed off to you, and she may never be open again. she’s leaving town before it is even given a proper ending, to go on tour now that her music career is taking off. this is the end. at least for a few years.

warnings: not rlly proofread bc i ball too hard, angst with no comfort yet, dw it’ll come, ellie is dealing with trauma, references to sex.

an: every now and then i remember that alcohol exists but then i drink it and remember why i didnt drink it for ages. i hate alcohol. this shit is reaaaaally short cuz it’s just some context for the main story. it’s not really necessary to read but i wrote it anyway just because. unfortunately for me, bc whenever i start a story i get rlly anxious until its over, the next one prolly won’t be coming for a while since im gonna be travelling for a bit and i got quite a lot of stuff going on: love you guys, stay safe, never stop talking about palestine. do your clicks. :-)

masterlist

When you first saw Ellie, there were embers in her eyes - front of the pub, she didn’t even need a stage as she sang her heart out. Her captivating nature was enough to elevate her. Everyone else in the room faded to grey in the background, nothing more than a lively buzz punctuating the atmosphere. You were enraptured.

And she was too.

Hesitant glances from across the room at the same time each week, the music and the feeling was electric. The flush of her cheeks melted into the splotches of red from the sweltering heat each time she met your eyes. You sat on that same barstool; she stood in that same spotlight.

And when you started seeing each other, there were so many moments where you felt like your love for her was uncontainable. It spewed out of your pores and overwhelmed your senses every time she was near, even in spite of her soft and reserved demeanour.

It had a hold on you. Each time your lips met, it always became visceral for you, slow and sensual movements transforming into borderline aggression, tongue desperately searching her insides and tearing all the petals off the rose that was in her mouth. You wanted to consume her, suck her up and hold her in the comfort of your rib cage. She was everything to you.

And she was bound to fame. You knew it would come. She was made of stardust, and an aura so golden it would burst if confined in small town pubs any longer.

Sometimes, you gently trace the ridged edges of the polaroid pinned to your wall and feel a pool of warmth gather inside you at the feeling of familiarity her younger face brings. Her face, back then when her eyes seemed greener, her cheeks seemed fuller, her voice seemed clearer. It’s a sick feeling: nostalgia, remembering the way your intensity felt and what it has become.

If you stare too long, you’ll watch the grainy photograph melt and churn, the hues of her skin becoming duller and sunken inwards.

The house is quiet. It’s a silence so dense, you’re almost fooled into thinking Ellie isn’t home. But she is. She’s there, like a ghost lingering in the cracks of your walls.

It feels cold, with a lingering scent of whiskey and a heavy silence that creaks in the hollows of your ears, even for the weeks at a time that Ellie is home.

Maybe it’s a sick thought to have about the woman you would give up your life for, who you would do anything for, who you love more than anything in the world millions of times over, but you prefer it when there’s a distance between the two of you these days. Playing into that constant facade of everything being okay drains you of all your worth and for no return. Ellie gave up on it a while back. It’s just you prancing away solo on that stage now, like some jester.

You’ve become a slave to it, lost yourself out at sea trying desperately to make things okay, whatever that means. She'll never talk to you about it. There’s only scraps left to hide but she clings to them like they’re her lifeblood, tearing them away from you as if you’re just some stranger. Some stranger who watches her crumble to pieces and put herself back together, like she’s a damn mix and match, each time the memories come back to surface in her mind. You beg for more, for crumbs of her resolve but she’s gone. Not coming back.

Nothing has been okay. Nothing has ever been the same since Joel died. Ellie has never been the same. That day, he left and took a piece of her with him. A piece you know you’ll never get back.

There’s no room for argument, what is between the two of you is like glue that barely sticks, so you keep yourself deathly still and hold your breath with a pounding heart and complete desperation, not wanting to ruin anything further. But there’s so much you have to say, and no time to say it.

Instead, you watch her pull further away, see her eyes become duller, notice her absence get longer, feel the sex get colder, watch everything warp and twist and writhe until you’re beyond the point of no return. Until you’re not sure you trust her, or yourself, or the concept of anyone truly loving you the animalistic and self destructive way you loved them at any point in time.

It’s lonely on that island, watching her drift away, the person you thought completed you, she felt incomplete regardless of your presence.

You know the glue has faded when she turns to face you from the foot of the bed, looking so far away as she speaks.

"What? You're moving to LA?" She looks down at the fingers she’s twiddling, and takes a deep breath before continuing.

"Yeah, Max said it wa-"

"Well, how long?" You cut her off, already rising from the bed and moving closer. She meets your eyes but the look she gives doesn’t satiate your anxiety in any way, despite how you beg it to.

"... About that, we were thinking it might be… indefinite for now..."

Your heart stills in your chest and the blood rushes from your head. She can’t even look at you.

"Ellie. What the fuck… How are you just gonna dump this on me now? W-what about us? What are we gonna do? I already barely see you anymore,"

"I... I'm sorry but, I gotta do this. You know I do, if I'm gonna make a caree-"

Desperation takes over, your palms quivering erratically beneath you,

"Ellie… I know you care about your career, but, God, we've been together for so long. I love you so much, please don't do this to me,"

She raises her gaze to the ceiling and forces the lump down the dry, tight hollow of her throat,

"It's not forever, babe, I’ll come home.”

But you’re already shaking your head in dismissal of her blatantly dishonest words,

"You and I both know that that is not true. You’ve been desperate to go since it happened and I know I’m just an obstacle now.“

"That’s… That’s not true. I really can’t do this right now."

"You never can. And it’s because I fucking know you're not coming back, Ellie! And I'm not gonna sit around, waiting for you to call, only ever hearing about you through other people when we’ve been together for so many fucking years! I want you to be happy more than anything-“

"We can call.”

"But you fucking won't! And you're always drunk! You need to talk to me, Ellie, we're never gonna be okay if you don't!”

“I can’t be okay when I’m trapped here! All I can think about is him! I don’t eat, I don’t sleep!”

"But this isn’t gonna make anything better! We have something here! We said we would start a family together, Ellie… LA; you would never have wanted this… Okay? Joel would never have wanted this!"

She gets up and turns without a second thought at the sound of his name and your blood pressure spikes in complete desperation.

"Ellie, Ellie, please. I'm sorry. We can work through this, I promi-"

“I have to go.”

“No, you don’t! You aren’t being fair! You shut me out! You shut everyone out! I’ve been trying so fucking hard!"

"I know, and I’m fucking sorry, but I can't stay here, there's nothing left for me! I love you-"

Your voice is quiet and quivers with emotion that lulls her in, begging her to see that you need her - that she has always come first to you even if you’ve become secondary to her,

"Then prove it. Stay."

But her mind is already made up.

"… I can’t…”

You’re shaking your head,

“I have to do this.”

No, this is seriously the end.

“I'll come home."

You stop shaking your head and look at her.

“No. I can't wait around for you, Ellie, not when we’re like this. If you do this, it's over."

"That's up to you."

The rest of the night seems blurry to you. A deep despair festers to the brim of your skull. You can’t bring yourself to move once she’s gone, can’t bring your mind to calm itself down.

But once you do, the house is plunged into the darkness you encounter. The weight of Ellie still hangs thick in the air and lingers like a whine in the creaks of cold floorboards. As you leave the house you shared with Ellie, you pass through each room, switching the light on and then off, from top till the bottom, until you reach the last.

Click,

and then you leave, once and for all.

Pass round the bend and then by the sea. Watch the waves rise and then crash into each other, right where Ellie used to plant her feet beside you.

more pics of my cat bc she’s just so adorable 😩

#ellie tlou #ellie williams #ellie x reader #ellie x fem reader #ellie the last of us #tlou2 #ellie williams x female reader #ellie williams x reader #fanfic #Spotify

[strangestofthings12]

This is going to be a very rambling and venty post cause im tired and annoyed and honestly am just using this to vent my anger/hurt. there is going to be stuff that can maybe be seen as anti tommy/bucktommy (please dont tell me a ship name to put i dont care about if they do have an agreed upon ship name right now) so if you dont want that please just move on. i dont want to fight i just want to yell into the void on a stupid throw away account so i dont bring my negativity stew and come out on my main blog where i just want to enjoy my stuff and just keep happy energy. I dont normally post and try and just find someone who explains it better because im not great and getting what im saying across or understood the way i want, so please bear with me. With that said i will move on to what i want to say

Okay so i have been watching 9-1-1 for years and i love and adore it. Its characters and dynamics and i have always loved found family. Now i will admit that i started watching it thinking that Buck and Eddie were a couple and had a son so i was kinda watching for it. Do i think if i didn't start watching thinking that i would ship them still yes 100%. I have always loved their relationship and i have loved watching both Buck and Eddie grow and start to be happy while also having each others back even at the worst times. Sometimes if i think to hard about Eddie and start crying cause I'm very normal about this show and it characters. Now Eddie is my favorite character in the show and at least in my top five overall favorite characters. I love him and his development and i adore seeing how much he does to just do right by Chris even when he messes up you can tell how much he adores that boy and how badly he wants to give Chris the best life possible. I could write essays about Eddie Diaz trying to explain how much i love him and why and i think words would run out before i could finish making people understand. Buddie is my favorite ship (sometimes second depending on my mood. i would say sorry but Henren and Madney will always be amazing ships and sometimes i just cant stop think about them)(Sorry Bathena i love you too i swear i just cant decide if i wanna kiss athena or be adopted by bobby and athena:( Its confusing) and has been for quite awhile and is one of my overall favorites and its one of my comfort ships.

With that context when bi Buck happened i was so insanely happy and i wouldnt shut up about it. it made me sick. i was so happy for Buck and while i think a part of me will always be a little sad Eddie wasnt his first kiss with a guy i dont think either of them are ready for that. i also understand that it wouldnt make sense for how the story is going right now. Now i have nothing against bucktommy in the show. I have watched the kiss scene and sobbed to much to pretend like i hate them or even dislike them. However I genuinely dont care about Tommy. Hes kinda bland and i forget about him half the time and before they brought him back i completely forgot his name. in my mind he was the one that wasnt as much of an asshole to chim and hen as the other two assholes which wasnt saying a lot. Now I dont dislike tommy nor am i going to act like hes irredeemable because neither Chim nor Hen seem to think hes still that guy and while they dont seem super close they seem to get along so clearly, he's not like that anymore. I have nothing that makes me dislike him nor do I like him. He's just there. He's just the guy buck kissed. Thats all he means to me. I would give up his screen time for Ravi or May or Karen in a heartbeat. because i love them cause they mean something to me. I don't think i thought about the fact that people might actually like him especially not more than EDDIE.

This is where the context matters cause i am to my core a one ship per person girly. I might see a ship and people who like it and even think thats not a terrible ship but i will still only look at content for my ship for that person (ie. i ship Destiel (dont say anything bad about them ill cry<3) but i can see the way someone would also ship Dean and Benny or crowley or Cas and Crowley or Mick but i will ignore the ship and move on and look at more Dean and Cas). normally i will just ignore the ship and move on because im not who its for. If it gets annoying in my tag or anything like that ill block it or whoever is annoying me cause its not a them problem that i dont want to see it. When i start to have a problem is when multiple people arent tagging right for whatever reason or people who are being rude about the ship i like because of their ship. When I started seeing Bucktommy stuff more and more in the 9-1-1 tag i went to the buddie tag cause i dont want to see them. my problem is that when im reading on AO3 and click on a fic tagged Buddie where bucktommy get married. it was literally just hurting Eddie. There was stuff before like id be scrolling though the buddie tag here and see someone saying that Tommy is a better character then Eddie and saying that they hope bucktommy is endgame. Whatever block and move on. Just like always but then people who have shipped buddie for years who ive seen talk about them are suddenly saying that they like bucktommy better. People who started watching because of bucktommy saying they dont like Eddie. People are going to have different opinions but it still bugged me. and then i read that and i was just hurt because it was tagged happy ending and i cannot fathom ever thinking Eddie hurting and pining is a happy ending. So i started to get more annoyed and i hate when that happens especially with a show i love and a character i dont dislike so i tried to just move on but more and more people are taking about it then i saw someone saying that they wanted eddie to die so buck and tommy can have Chris.

I just hate that so many people are jumping on the bucktommy train and saying that they like it better than buddie something that is so good and sweet or saying that they like Tommy more than Eddie. I just dont get it cause Tommy is boring. like yeah we now some about him and he flies a helicopter but hes forgettable he could be a completely different person and next to nothing would have to change. We have seen Eddie at his worst and claw his way back up and hes finally letting himself be open and honest and soft. Eddie couldnt be replaced. Now im not saying Tommy can't be an interesting character but as he is right now?? He just isnt. Hes just as bland as every women (minus Taylor and Shannon) Buck and Eddie have dated and been hated on for no reason!!! Like i get that Tommy is a guy and we got canon Bi Buck and people are happy but those same people turn around and shit on Marisol from what ive seen(I could be wrong cause again i have done my best to avoid). Buddie fans arent safe from that either, cause we all know that Buddie fans do that but so many of those people who hated on them and said they didnt want them with anyone else suddenly decided that they were okay if Buck ended up with any guy. I dont know its just weird and i hate how many people are acting like Eddie isnt always going to be better then Tommy. Part of me wanted Tommy to stick around and help Buck and Eddie figure it all out but now?? i honestly just cant wait for him to be gone cause I want to have fun and read fics for my comfort ship and just chill where i can see all of my ships in the show without buck and tommy being everywhere or people saying crap about Eddie.

I have more to say but most of its about how gratifying waiting and seeing where this whole thing goes(Buddie season 8 PLEASE!!) and this is already why to long and i think im just going in circles and none of this makes sense so ima shut up for now and hopefully this will help it not fester and drive me insane and become a tommy hater

Edit: but i also hate that Tommy calls Buck Evan so he already had some stuff against him rip

#911 #buddie #anti bucktommy #i guess?? #i dont know #i dont know what to tag this and just hope i dont upset anyone #anti tommy kinard #again i guess #but not really?? #let me know if i need to add any tags:)

[analoceits]

I have a feeling Logan isn't good at shapeshifting because he overcomplicates it. Like the atoms and organs and he hates having his body be fantastical

EXACTLYY YOU GET ME. also here is MORE tss body horror hc's that werent in the og post:

logan: if hes in an "unrealistic" body [think: puppet logan] for any long amount of time, he will break down, as he starts asking questions. how is he sentient and aware? how is he breathing? after a while, he'll end up as a gory puddle of pure panicked breakdown and one of the twins will have to fix him. he'll usually end up Checking his own organs after this. just to make sure.

patton: though the inside is.. uh. Pretty Simple. he has one organ: the heart! it is exactly what a 5 year old would think a heart is. it Beats Too :D. also, any "sharp" parts of him (aka teeth and nails) are.. Soft, like Plastic. sometimes they will come loose. their will be No Blood. it makes logan Viscerally Uncomfortable.

roman: though his body is Perfect, as previously mentioned, when hes alone.. hes willing to play with it. make it art. hes cried tears of blood before. sometimes, whenever he feels too fake, he'll take himself apart. just to make sure. just to make sure. (him and logan are alike in too many ways)

virgil: he is a glass canon. his body is fragile, any stray thought he has is susceptible to hurting him (what if im having a heart attack? what if this cut hit a vein?) but. whenever he feels the other sides are in danger? he is horrifically strong. like a parent with a child in danger, he will punch hard enough to break someone but shatter his arm in the process.

janus: though he tries his best to hide it, remus and virgil Know intimately how sick he is. sometimes, he gets poisoned with his own venom and seizes up for hours. in the winter, hes in and out of consciousness, with no rhyme or reason. he gets wild mood swings too, occasionally loosing the ability to feel affection for hours or days, as snakes cant feel that. it terrifies him.

remus: besides logan and janus, his body is painfully realistic. he takes it farther though. his shapeshifting is never.. clean. its all disgusting and gross and like shoving all his organs and bones into a new bag and all the terrible consequences that come with that. as well, he doesnt heal instantly like the other sides. no. he lets it stay as long as it takes.

#sanders sides #tss #sasi #ts sides #logan sanders #virgil sanders #patton sanders #roman sanders #remus sanders #janus sanders

[starbaby-7]

Long Live Abigail Hobbs!

In honor of our best girl I’m sharing my favorite Abigail Hobbs coded songs because she’s quite literally the ghost haunting me. No one deserved her.

Killer- Phoebe Bridgers

“Sometimes I think I’m a killer. I scared you in your house, I even scared myself talking about Dahmer on your couch.”

“I am sick of the chase, but I’m hungry for blood. And there’s nothing I can do.”

Family Tree- Ethel Cain

“I’m just a child but I’m not above violence.”

“Christ forgive these bones in hiding and oh and the bones I’m about to leave.”

Sun-Bleached Flies - Ethel Cain

“God loves you but not enough to save you.”

“But I always knew that in the end no one was coming to save me so I just prayed, and I keep praying and praying. If it’s meant to be then it will be.”

Strangers- Ethel Cain

“I tried to be good, am I no good? With my memory restricted to a Polaroid in evidence.”

“Found you just to tell you I made it real far. And I never blamed you for loving me the way that you did.”

“Am I turning in your stomach? Am I making you feel sick?”

Bite the Hand- Boygenius

“Who do you think you are? Who do you think I am? Maybe I’m afraid of you?”

“I can’t love you how you want me to.”

Vienna (in Memoriam) - the army, the navy

Enough said.

Smother - Daughter

“In the darkness I will meet my creators and they will all tell me I’m a suffocator.”

“Sometimes I wish I had stayed in my mother, never to come out.”

Im Right Here - Theodore Shapiro

The humming and melody feel like what Abigail’s life with Will might have been had they been in WolfTrap instead.

House Song- Searows

“Something is rotten inside me, I have to find it and cut it out.”

Hard Times- Ethel Cain

“Tell me a story about how it ends where you’re still the good guy I make pretend cause I hate this story where happiness ends and dies with you.”

“I thought good guys got to be happy? I’m not happy. I am poison in the water and unhappy. A little girl who needs her daddy real bad.”

“I’m tired of you still tied to me.”

OKAY THATS ALL FOR NOW. Abigail is one of my favorite characters ever and I think her complexity should be observed more. She was a survivor and perceived in the light of those around her and never as she truly was and I mourn her daily. I think about how she deserved to go to school abroad and never want for anything but in the end was a playing pawn in a game between two men who were themselves too terrified and confused to make sense of each other much less her as an independent.

IF YOU WANT MORE HERES MY PLAYLIST FOR HER

#hannibal #hannibalnbc #save abigail hobbs #Abigail Hobbs #will graham #hugh dancy #mads mikkelsen #hannibal lecter #will loves hannibal #hannibal and will #hannigram #hannibal and Abigail #garret jacob hobbs #playlist #character study #boygenius #Ethel Cain #nbc hannibal #Spotify

[starfxkr]

trailer park!jj and toxic!jj live in the same house… two sides of the same coin. now im thinking ab finally getting fed up with him not locking in with you and making him jealous 🙂‍↕️ he finds out youre getting a little too close to some guy and he peeps it and gets irked. hes older now so hes not as impulsive as he used to be but that doesnt mean he wont do smth. probs embarrasses you in front of said dude as usual. and i like to think about nurse!reader w this one, but he really kicks it up a notch when he takes out one of the women his age that Hates you on a date, cleans himself up pretty well (finking ab whe white tshirt n jeans fit he wore to visit john b in jail mmmhmnnm) and it’s probably the cleanest youve seen him. hes waiting for her outside her trailer on his bike when you see him n youre curious bc… whyre you dressed up if not to see me 😒 n e ways he knows hes got you when you come up to him after tending to your patients for the day n pops the question— his sleazy ass is looking at you above his sunglasses talking about some “‘bouta go on our fifth date, me n her. ‘might just make us exclusive… i got her flowers too ‘cus im a gentleman like that” which sends you into a fury of rage bc THATS what youve been asking for. the dates, flowers, rides on his bike, and most importantly— the title of you being his girl!!?? and hes giving it to some old hag that doesnt deserve him… he plays dirty w the age gap/maturity differences hes soo sick. thank god hes not with kitten bc itd get ugly… but imagining that makes u think hmmnnmm

the way he plays with nurse!reader bc he low-key feels guilty abt stringing you along because youre so smart and got a good head on your shoulders...this is the only thing that can really make you mad and you come to his place raising hell after because you asked for him to BE FUCKIN NORMAL and he wouldn't so you moved on and now he wanna play games????

kitten woulda pushed that trailer into the marsh. no question about it. and of course all her 'irrational behavior' makes him go "see this is why me n you won't work. you're still fuckin young n'stupid." ohhh he shouldnt have said that...she's fuckin all his friends

#✨.txt #jj maybank prompt #trailer park!jj

[lacquerheadd]

i have failed you.

#anakin skywalker #star wars #darth vader #star wars revenge of the sith #hate this but im sick and this is all i have in me #back on my star wars bs #sw #star wars the clone wars #art #digital art #sketch #wip #sw tcw #tcw #DUDE I SPELT MY OWN SIGNATURE WRONG #revenge of the sith

[peachfruitcake]

not really here anymore

#twf #the walten files #the walten files fanart #twf fanart #susan woodings #twf susan #the walten files susan #twf4 #the walten files 4 #god #u have no clue how crazy that episode made me feel and how much it made all that Wait worth it. it was everything I’ve been killing to see #art #digital art #procreate #fanart #doodle #i wanna draw more 4 fanart but DRAINED BURNT OUT IM SICK AND BUSY UUUEJEJEGJJJHHHH I HATE DRAWBACKS SCREW EVERYTHING #also moving soon just don’t know what day cuz my dads friend needs to sort a bunch of stuff out #Also omg tysm for the 23 saves on my Susan playlist this is my dream as a Susan fan I feel so great I’m also super happy that many thought #of me when watching twf 4 #yipeee

[stevethehairington]

really fucking sick and tired of people who really fucking love the eddie book jumping on people who don't like or are even remotely critical of it's posts and like crusading their opinions around from the top of their high horses and shoving it down our throats.

if you like the book, great! that's awesome! love that for you! i am genuinely glad that you were able to find good in it and enjoy it!!

but not everyone did, and not everyone is going to agree with you. so, instead of going on some grand crusade where you find every single post that includes anything even remotely negative or negative adjacent or even neutrally critical and spending ALL this time and effort trying to provide unwanted rebuttals to every single thing, maybe you should just stay in your lane and find people who DO like the book and chat about it with them.

because i can PROMISE YOU, none of us appreciate it when you come onto our posts and start accusing us of "hating on" the author or "being rude" about her and her work and RIDICULOUS shit like that.

being critical of something and pointing out it's flaws is NOT inherently hating on it. i, frankly, do not know where people got that notion, but it's not fucking true so can we fucking quit assuming it is? and, critiquing something is also NOT the same as saying this is shit and it sucks and the author is a piece of garbage. again, where the fuck that came from is beyond me. you can be critical of something and still enjoy it. as soooo many of you love to point out, it's not perfect, why should it be perfect? so D U H. of course that means criticism can and should arise???

also. hot take (by which i mean ice fucking cold because it's NOT a fucking hot take), but going around toting FALSE facts as part of your "defense" does not make you or your argument look good. you, like the author, should maybe do a basic fact check first. 🙃

tldr, if you like the book, that's genuinely great, but stay in your fucking lane and stop seeking out posts from people who didn't like it to start shit in the notes.

#flight of icarus #stranger things #this has happened to me and to so many of my friends and im fucking SICK of it #i didn't even hate the book either!! i thought it was just okay #and yet i STILL get all these book lovers jumping down my throat about things i say about the book #things that - HONESTLY are not even like that scathing!!!!! #like god damn all im asking for is a little BASIC effort from the author and they all think thats me asking for her head on a platter #its NOT #i have no problem with the author #she's whatever to me honestly just a vessel through which the book was given to us #ALSO she is some nebulous blob way outside my orbit. AS IN any critiques i have of her and her work are NOT direct assaults on her??? #like i dont fucking KNOW her #im not saying any of this to her face #she is a published writer she should KNOW the risks she is taking when she publishes her writing #not everyone is going to like it! there are going to be people who are critical of it! there are going to be people who hate it! #critiques and pointing out mistakes and wishing for things to have been different is not a fucking direct attack #those things are actually pretty fucking common responses to ANYTHING #and a lot of times theyre actually meant as useful helpful things geared towards improvement and not something to tear someone down with #some people on the internet need to go touch grass and learn how to CRITICALLY THINK again #the world is not as black and white as you think #n e ways. rant over. if you stuck around through all of that kudos to you. i am just. at the end of my rope with this bullshit.

[heartorbit]

NICCORI CORI CORI CORI CORIANDER

#project sekai #pjsk #prsk #emu otori #that trend where you draw wxs in your clothes except i only did emu and they no longer look like my clothes bc i put a gradient map on it #its fine ill draw them all together once i find something in my drawers horrendous enough for rui to wear #I hate csp and their stupid company but i missed drawing in it #it helps thr i have an analog tsblet so unlike procreate im not zooming right in on everything and losing my mind #so i draw a lot more fast and it's always more loose and fluid but i dont have a good workflow since its been such a long time #so for now... am stuck in the procreate mines for anything that i want to look nice #The bug master chart is making me so sick btw i do worse every time i play it. help. #im currently in a saw trap where if i dont draw and post an emu at ungodly hours of the night st least once a week i explode #its awesome #WHYS IT SO BLURRY UNLESS YOU CLICK IT. SHOULD I DIE? i lied idgaf goodnight #my wrists HURT WAAAAH WAAH WAAH. BOOHOO. THE AMULETS CURSE BEFALLS ME

[wraenata]

Pillow attack courtesy of the @tapakah0 army

I missed the battle. I passed out under the pillow. Sorry :(

(Thank you for the pillow attack though!)

#wren askbox #i am still so sick #surprised i could make even a terrible doodle #i had an awful day at work today #i got verbally assaulted by a coworker for something that isnt even my deal #i cried #i spiraled #it sucked so bad #please handle with care i cannot handle the negative emotions #thankfully my other coworkers affirmed me that they were way out of line #but now i think said coworker hates me #this wasnt even my deal i was just the messenger! #thankfully some nice peeps and cas update and tapa and sara shenanigans and pillow war helped cheer me up #but with all this sickness weighing me down i passed out tonight #im just too weak for all this #sorry i rambled on your pillow attack i really appreciate it #i hope to have the energy to get to my other asks soon

[sk1nnysuccubus]

the way having proper meals makes you feel like such a wannarexic lol

#tw ana diary #tw ed diet #ed not ed sheeran #tw disordered eating #tw restrictive ed #ana trigger #tw ana bløg #since i worked off basically All my calories i let myself have some more food #this is a lot more than i would've let myself have #and it makes me want to overwork myself to work off the cals again #but my god i felt so sick due to not. eating. lol #i love being dizzy and empty but i also hate it so much #im under my limit still though so im still on track #just. uncomfortable with the cal amount

[queenie-blackthorn]

sometimes i feel like i hate everyone

#if i ever say “i hate you” dont take it personally #everyone does stupid shit sometimes n thats fine but its happening sm and im sick of it n i need to speak up #chances are if u see this ur not part of the problem bc ur actually reading the shit i post #the fact that barely anyone realized that i relapsed into sh yesterday is crazy #im not doing this for attention its a fucking cry for help and most of yall are ignoring me #you ignore me when im fine and you ignore me when i need you #what am i supposed to do ffs #do i have to show you my bleeding thighs for you to ask how i am? #do you have to wait until i scream and cry and hurt myself for you to care abt me? #do i not matter unless im hurting? or do i not matter even when i am hurting? #do i have to fucking die for any of yall to realize theres something mentally wrong w me? #fuck you all youre just as bad as my parents #except for the four people who talked me out of spiralling last night #two of which were people i barely/dont know #so yeah maybe try harder n actually ask ur friends how they are #dont push them to the point where they need to be comforted by strangers

[pansyfemme]

i think this time of year is cursed

#last year i got horribly sick and depressed #this year i had to flee my dorm and miss classes to keep myself safe from harassment until i could work out moving times #im so fucking angry i am fuming i am furious i want to scream #i did absolutly nothing to deserve this. this wasnt a mutual argument this wasn’t a bad roomate thing this was a person using the fact that #i am a traumatized trans person to intimidate and harass me and make me feel unwelcome in my housing #i feel sick with rage. #im well liked on campus im doing fantastic in all my classes i am doing everything i can #and one person decided he hated me and fucked up my entire semester #the good thing is i am never sleeping there again. i am not returning to that dorm until i am there to move out and i am greatful #but im just so upset about the whole thing. #everyone on campus agrees i did nothing. that i didnt cause this. but i still have to carry the burden of moving #he will be talked to and i dont think he will ever feel welcome on campus after this but i am so angry he thinks so little of me he thought #he could make my life hell and face no punishment for it.

[pinacoladamatata]

"if you fancy Astarion, you might want to consider therapy. He's so damaged I must have him! Enjoy the fantasy and then call a therapist. It's a two step thing and it's very important you do both." - Amelia Tyler what do your narrator eyes see? 😂😂😂

#ohohooooohoo the little random tidbits devs and voice actors have dropped about his companion arc is making me NERVOUS #just throwin out some meta thoughts here #in order for astarion to *get rid of* the tadpole; cazador *has* to die first. like i'll bet my left tit this is conditional #since cazzy is apparently a control freak he might be enemies w the mindflayers/absolute cult bc ''bleh bleh my city'' #i think its entirely possible that we could ally w cazador against the absolute; this would like have to result in astarion attacking tav #im just worried it might be like; you have to at least temporarily side w the absolute if you kill cazzy? #idk! idk! #and like i do think there will probably be a 3rd option of like 'i hate both these groups kill them both' but man. #and then there's whatever is going on w his ''this soul is not for sale except in the realm of the undead'' stamp #like are we gonna have to go the there? wherever the fuck that is? #pls amelia i am begging on my knees i need a sign! of hope! #bc now the hug and hand holding in the trailer is making me think larian is trying to trick me into believing he'll be okay #only to hit me with a devastating ending(s) no matter what #idk. man. i read astarion's writer was fanes writer. idk dos2 but like i am aware of what......happened w that 'romance' #pls i need a sign larian #i am so sick of the bioware style romances! the morrigans! the solases ! the unresolved endings of it all! ENOUGH #i want closure from this i am begging #for once in my life i just want closure for a video game romance ending #i JUST THINK LIKE ideally. for me. he'd have at least 1 ending where he's not cured but lives happily ever after* #i am having a hard time picturing him cured of vampirism. tbh. but if it's possible without him immediately dying then. well hats off #its 2 AM here i need to knock it tf off and go to bed #........unless.....yall want to enable me and discuss this further #i am 1 more bad day away from writing a thesis on this in MLA format istg

[rithmeres]

yes, the plans that i could not share with you (because the haters would sabotage me) were that i was taking on LACC in my vash getup :)

i have so few pictures of myself but i got so many compliments (especially on my arm) and plenty of other people took pictures of me. and normally i don't like attention but i will be honest with u. under these circumstances i loved it. my arm held up really well through 8 hours on the convention floor and i have never been prouder of anything i've made. it's articulated incredibly well, no part of it gave out or required repair, it's never uncomfortable or a nuisance to wear, and i have enough range of motion to do relatively complex things like tying my shoes.

originally i was not planning to try to meet anyone famous because 1) it's expensive and 2) the lines are long and 3) i feel weird and annoying approaching literally anyone for any reason BUT. the spot where i met up with my sister just happened to be right next to johnny yong bosch's table. right when he started signing things. so i said LOL ok i'll do it.

it was super chill, i asked him how it felt to get the call that they wanted him to come back 20 years later for a trigun reboot and he said it almost didn't happen -- that since they recast everyone else for stampede they considered recasting vash as well (and i said WOW i'm so glad they didn't) and he said he really enjoyed getting to come back and explore a darker take (i forget if what he said was a darker take on vash's character, or just a darker trigun in general) but it was briefly surprising 2 me that he considered stampede to be a darker version but i get it, especially when u consider that there is not a lot of comedy in those 12 episodes to balance out the grief.

ANYWAY he was impressed with my arm and i asked him if he would sign my coat :) so he signed the lining but he was also like u know what, i'm gonna give you a second autograph just because. so he signed a print for me as well (free of charge!!) and the print with the blue signature matches my famous paintings that i always film in front of (that's providence baybee)

other stuff from the con under the cut

cosplay notes:

i saw 3 other vash cosplayers (a 98 vash, a stampede vash, and a purple coat vash) and no shade but i definitely had the best arm build. peace and love to all of them though

i saw 1 1/2 wolfwoods. 1 was the aforementioned mullet wolfwood from yesterday's post (ww if you’re out there ww) and the 1/2 was the 98 vash cosplayer’s gf in some kind of goth-ish dress and she was carrying a punisher

mullet wolfwood if you're out there i regret not getting a picture with you so much. i am deeply ashamed and i have no excuse because i ran into you twice and both times i was too embarrassed to ask for a picture. i just want you to know that your punisher was swag and your earrings were yolo and we would look very good together

i expected to see a lot more trigun tbh. los angeles where u at. 4 vashies at a convention of 120,000+ people is nothing. one guy even walked up to me like wow i love ur vash, i haven't seen a lot of trigun at this con and i was like I KNOW i thought i'd see a lot more

theeeee costume of all time award goes to the cad bane cosplayer i saw on the balcony. spare hand in marriage dude (gn) you looked so good

second place for costume of all time goes to the other mother cosplayer who had button eyes and these crazy finger appendages and never once broke character even while waiting in lines

i took 100 points of psychic damage from this one guy who (and im not kidding) was at least 6’4’’ and wearing platform boots and was dressed as the mfing onceler. with the stupid top hat he was fr 7+ feet tall (i saw him duck to get through a doorway).

someone was there as the brawny paper towel guy?? just walking around in a beard and flannel carrying a pack of paper towel rolls?? go off king

i saw 5 nightwing cosplayers but only 2 were biblically accurate (had ass)

the nanami sweep at this convention was so real u all SHOWED UP. and everybody ate. i saw at least 12 nanamis and not one of them was a flop.

i have never seen so many spider-mans in my life

other things:

fig. 1: this extremely hot captain america on a very large poster was about 2 make me act unwise. hi gorjus................................. nice eyebrows

fig 2: i saw this sign a couple blocks away from the con and i did a triple take. 🔥🔥🔥TRIMAX MENTIONED🔥🔥🔥

fig. 3: i saw all 4 hobbits in panel and can confirm elijah wood’s laugh is ten times more infectious in real life. before they were even done sitting down, dominic monaghan switched around all of their name cards so that none of them were seated behind the right name. as u might imagine much of the panel's content was reminiscing about LOTR, but i heard some stories that i hadn't heard before. they also talked about video games, other projects they are working/have worked on, how their kids feel about their dads' LOTR roles, how much they love ian mckellen, and how they would love to see something happen for the 20th anniversary of ROTK this year. sean astin (the legend) took shots at the stranger things writers (basically said joyce could never be happy with hopper) AND EVERYONE CLAPPED LOL. billy and dom talked about the best food in NZ, their show billy and dom eat the world, and the unfortunate events that led to the friendship onion's hiatus. it was a ton of fun to just watch them be themselves with each other, you can tell that these guys are all so fond of each other and love each other so much.

and finally, fig. 4: i bought these beautiful prints from @/batinyourbelfry and the skeletal washi tape from @/skeletalacademia (both on IG)

#this post is all over the place but i want u all to experience this with me. baby's first convention #i didn't hate it like i thought i might but i am absolutely WIPED and will b perfectly content to not go to another con for several years #lacc #los angeles comic con #it's so funny walking around and just hearing someone go VASH and literally being like. who said that. #like there are 5 million people in this corridor. where are u so i can acknowledge you #my immediate defense mechanism is to toss up a peace sign so it's very convenient that it is something in character for vash #my favorite compliment was this one guy who was just like 'THAT'S FUCKIN SICK' from across the aisle and i was like 'YEAH!!!!' #long post #ackchewally the more i think about it. i do think sometimes people mischaracterize stampede as lighter than the other triguns #simply because the characters look more baby than their other counterparts #even though many elements of stampede are. truly so dark. #like we are not at manga-level-dark yet but HOO BOY i have no doubt we will get there #i'm dying to see what other horrors orange is cooking bc i KNOW they're cooking awful manga things (laudatory) #hot single dads in your area #my cosplay #this post has taken me hours to write. im so sick of it at this point begone from my sight i hate u