#he works so hard and still tries to achieve his artistic dream at the same time | Explore Tumblr Posts and Blogs

chlmvqn · 1 month

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-~ calls ~-

description: being in a long distance relationship with your boyfriend, minghao, has never been easy. what happens when he suddenly leaves you on read and doesn't reply to you for hours? pairing: xu minghao (the8) x reader genre: fluff warning: vocal affection from hao ; a healthy relationship ; ldr ; a very understanding relationship author's note: jun has a short appearance in this one! also, feel free to leave some requests:))

you lay on your couch, staring blankly at the ceiling. you were stressed as it is. with exams coming up, assignments piling and your bills ready to kill you, your head has been filled with negativity for a few weeks now. your mind has been packed with nothing but trouble.

and you didn't know what to do.

another thing that had been bothering you was why your boyfriend, minghao, hadn't texted you for exactly 7 hours already.

yes, you're very well aware that his schedule is pretty tight, but he could at least reply to your messages. you weren’t a clingy girlfriend or whatsoever, it just seemed unusual that he hasn't texted you back until now.

every once in a while, you would take a peek at your phone, hoping to see a pop-up notification from your lover.

but nope.

you sat up to get a snack from the kitchen. since you didn't know how to cook, you just heated up some leftovers from yesterday's meal.

your meals and routine aren't exactly healthy-- resulting in your body being so.

grabbing a plate from the drawers, you placed it on the counter and went to get some coffee. you sat on the stool, enjoying your small snack whilst scrolling through your feed.

you still couldn't help but feel uneasy knowing your lover hasn't contacted you for hours. finally having enough, you called him.

you always avoided calling him since, again, you're aware of how busy he is and how strict his university is when it comes to distractions.

minghao– or in which you call him, hao, was in another state. the both of you used to live in the same place, but ever since college, he moved out and went to his dream university. yes, it did cause some conflict between the two of you-- the both of you didn't even talk for a week and a half. Hao was aiming to be an artist, and that really inspired you to work hard, kinda. his goal was one of the hardest ones to achieve, and his determination and passion for it made you fall in love with him. so why stop him pursuing his dreams?

the ringing kept echoing in your ears, it drove you crazy.

why aren't you answering?

finally hearing a click sound, you couldn't help but arch your lips upwards.

"hao?" you call out.

"wayen? hey!" a different voice answered you.

"jun? why'd you answer minghao's phone?" you question the man on the other side of the phone.

jun was one of minghao’s most trusted friends, his best friend even. he and jun were chinese, giving them an instant click. although hao had a big circle of friends, you’ve noticed that he really was closer with jun than the rest.

you heard a laugh. "well, you see,"

after jun explained what happened, you couldn't help but grin from ear to ear. your heart beating very loudly, your stomach getting butterflies.

as what jun said, minghao was procrastinating, more than usual.

he tried to finish his responsibilities as soon as possible so that he could spend time with you. it seemed like minghao was missing you deeply as well.

and as soon as hao opened your messages, he passed out on the floor.

what kind of person doesn't take care of himself?

you were still on call, waiting for hao to wake up. your camera was on as it was facing you while you were reading a book.

you heard a muffled voice and a groan.

"good morning, sleepyhead." you greeted him.

"wayen?" he asked.

you gave him a hum before picking up the phone.

"how are you feeling?" i asked him with a sweet tone lacing in my voice, along with a small tilted smile.

"a bit lightheaded." he massaged his head a bit.

the both of you talked for a while and caught up with what you guys were doing recently. he really was busy, busier than you even. you don't know how he can handle all those projects by himself.

"hun," he called out.

"yeah?"

he breathed in. "sorry for not being interactive recently.” you shook your head vigorously. "dear no, don't apologize.”

you gave him a sincere smile.

"i understand that you were busy. yeah, it hurt a bit, but it's fine now!" assuring him with a hand holding up a thumb's up.

minghao gave you that rare, heartwarming smile, not until it was interrupted by a bark.

"bopul!" you called out to his dog, aka, you and hao’s baby.

a white fluffy pup immediately jumped onto hao's lap, wagging his cute tail. "hey, honey~" you cooed. receiving a bark in response.

"y'know, i sometimes think you love bopul more than me." he teased.

you shrugged. "probably."

the two of you talked for a few more hours, until it was time for you to go.

"hey, hun?" he stated. "before you go, i wanna tell you something."

you stopped what you were doing and listened to what he was saying. "hm?"

"please don't hesitate to call."

you were surprised at what he said.

"i wanna hear your voice from time to time y'know." a light chuckle came out from his mouth. his ears were turning as shade of red as well. hao has never been the vocal type, he’d always show his affection towards you with his actions, so hearing this from him made your stomach do flips.

"ah," you said. "are you sure? i don't really wanna call much since you're busy and stuff."

minghao raised a brow, "huh? yeah i'm busy pretty much everyday, but i still wanna spend time with you."

he paused. "texts aren't enough.

you smiled heartedly at him. "i'll be sure to call you once i get back from my lectures."

"i'll be waiting. i love you."

"i love you even more."

#seventeen #svt #x reader #fluff #fanfic #kpop #carat #xu minghao #the8 #minghao #minghao x reaer #the8 x reader #jun #wen junhui #seo myungho #myunghao

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juminsmysticmc · 2 years

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What about a headcannon for the RFA+ V& Saeran for an MC who wants to be a performer (singer, actor)?

RFA+ Minor Trio with MC who wants to be a performer (singer, actor)

Jumin

When he first met you, he already knew that your heart was burning to become a singer.

He was sure that you would surely become someone big in the future with your voice.

And the more he got to know you, the more he loved to support you to make your dream a reality.

He loved to hear you sing to him and could spend hours listening and observing you, something Jaehee wished could have done after work.

And so, after the wedding and your honeymoon, Jumin was sure that the upcoming audition would be a success.

But nothing happened.

They didn’t even accept you as a rookie.

You were devastated, he knew, but you still didn’t want to give up the idea.

That’s why Jumin wanted to support you, even more, try to help you on his own.

,,I don’t want to cheat, Jumin. That’s why I don’t want you to help me…I love you and appreciate the thought but…I want to achieve my dreams on my own…’’ you told him, something he accepted. After all, you were the woman he fell in love with and he was more than sure that one day you would be able to make your dreams come true…

Zen

It was already a big surprise to see you in front of his door when he was at his worst.

When he had no motivation and was hurt.

To know that you were trying to get into show business and wanted to become an actor, he was perplexed.

Overjoyed.

Someone understood what he felt and had the same mindset, somehow.

The both of you shared some thoughts and talked a lot about different entertainment and roles you accepted.

,,Yeah, yeah! My mentor tells me the same thing all the time, I feel you!’’ he laughed when you told him about your experience.

,,Honestly, Zen, I look up to you. I get so tired, it’s making me feel very bad actually that I haven't achieved anything yet. I don’t feel good enough,’’ you suddenly said and the two of you shared a deep talk.

Perhaps this was what made the two of you grow close.

Maybe this was one of the reasons why Zen fell for you.

A lot came afterward: you were almost kidnapped, Eco Girl tried to destroy his career, and then the RFA party followed.

Something that didn’t change, however, was that the two of you always stayed close.

One day, Zen came to decide his life:

,,I know that this could feel weird to you, but what do you think about coming to my company?

I think this might be a good decision.

I would like to support you better and stay close to you…’’ he mumbled.

He didn’t mean to say that without him you wouldn’t achieve anything and you knew that he wanted only the best for you.

That’s why you accepted…

Yoosung

For a long time, your name made his heart miss a throb.

He had the feeling that he knew you, although he also knew that your name was very common.

But to his surprise, the feeling he had when he first heard your name, came to be true:

,,Could it be that you are Mc?! I mean, from the one band that disbanded? The rookie band?!’’ Yoosung asked when the two of you saw each other for the first time.

He was hurt pretty badly to save you so his sight wasn’t the best.

But he recognized you.

And everything he said was true.

The RFA came to know the truth too.

You were one member of a band which disbanded not long ago just because you couldn’t debut.

But you, since it was your biggest dream to become a performer, didn’t give up and instead just changed companies. You kept giving your best as a solo artist.

The hard work, however, only paid off years ago. At that time, you however, didn’t know.

Instead, you kept on living your life, practicing and trying your best while secretly dating Yoosung, who put his life at risk.

And while you were giving your best to become a better performer, you also were writing your script to honor Yoosung, the one you loved the most and planned on marrying…

Jaehee

,,I’m sorry, to both of you,’’ you sighed when Jaehee asked you to open a coffee shop with her and when Jumin tried to persuade you to become his new secretary.

No one thought you would reject them.

Even worse, no one thought you would even dare to say no to Jaehee since the two of you already gave off pretty good vibes in the chat.

However, you had your reasons:

,,I am trying very hard to become a performer. To be honest, I’m pursuing the life of a motivational speaker to support, motivate, and inspire people all around the world.

I have already begun to talk in little crowds and I have a YouTube channel. I do live videos on social media…I have this dream and I won’t budge on it.

That’s why I can’t do that. I can’t work as your assistant and I can’t help you with a shop, Jaehee,’’ you said, breathing in before you gave them both a big smile.

For a second Jaehee felt angry. She felt as if someone stabbed her in her back. Was everything you said just part of your job?

But after a while, she realized that this was the real you, that you were simply made like this and that you were truly a goddess at your job.

She knew that it was her job to support you, just like you did with her.

And a few years later, you were one of the regular customers who held a meeting once a month in her shop…

Saeyoung

,,Ha, of course, she’s a multi-talent,’’ the red-haired man laughed to himself after he found out who the unknown person in the chatroom was.

The more Saeyoung found out about you, the more he was sure that being a performer was the right choice for you.

You just needed to be the center of attention of the people around you.

You were optimistic, sensitive, and creative. You were someone special and Saeyoung wanted to support you.

He could support Zen, so why shouldn’t he do the same for you?

However this time, horrible things got in the way and he couldn’t help as quickly as he had hoped.

He discovered Saeran was unknown, as well as the truth about Jihyun and Rika…

Your career was put on hold as you spent your time supporting Saeyoung, the person you fell in love with.

However, after this all ended, after the painful moments finally passed, after the emotional injuries were finally healed, your love for being a performer was finally a topic again.

And this time, your now-fiancé, made sure to support you.

He wanted to somehow try to make you boom.

,,No, I don’t want a video of me being a virus,’’ you told him back then. Your words were like a meow from a cat before the virus attacked all phones and everyone got to see a video of you…

,,Well, she went through the same as me, isn’t it funny, Mc?’’ Zen asked you in the chatroom while your cheeks were burning red.

Saeran

The first time he saw you was indeed in a video on YouTube.

He observed how the ambitious and independent young woman appeared in a video and talked about her plans for the future.

Perhaps Saeran fell for the young woman on the TV back then.

The one who was healthy and tried to achieve her dreams, tried to change her fate, and the situation he was in.

No matter what happened at Mint Eye, you were always behaving perfectly fine, calm, you knew what to say, and which words to choose.

There was nothing he regretted in choosing you.

Just one thing was on his mind from time to time.

He didn’t want you to take the elixir.

He wanted you to stay happy and healthy.

To grow as a person.

Perhaps you were fit to become a performer as you were the same person who gave him enough motivation to change, to become Ray and Saeran, and to love both.

You were the first one who loved him for who he was.

You were the real one.

Saeran kept supporting you and your dreams afterward. You were busy finding Saeyoung, but neither of you ever forgot to live for your dreams and your own well-being.

That’s what made the both of you grow as people too.

Jihyun

He was overjoyed when he learned the truth.

You wanted to become a performer as a musician.

He was blinded by your beauty, your skills, and the way you behaved.

He could already imagine both of you playing together with your instruments.

And this was when Jihyun decided that he had to save you no matter what so that you could achieve your dreams for sure.

He didn’t want anyone or anything to happen to you because of Rika, or even worse, because of him.

Because of his stupid mistakes.

He wanted to look over you and protect you, as well as support you.

And the urge to help you only grew when he heard you playing the flute.

The dark sky seemed to glow while he kept watching over you.

And nothing changed over those three years while he was gone.

He knew, to support you wholeheartedly, he needed to be clean with himself.

He made sure to support you from afar and look at your every performance and wait for your big debut.

He was always there, even though you didn’t know…

Vanderwood

,,I understand,’’ he nodded when you told him your story.

It was a long and painful story and he wondered why most of the performers in history were always hurt so badly?

,,Will you ever try to approach your family if you should debut?’’ he asked you while cooking.

The both of you grew close over time and often ate dinner together.

Honestly, both of you were in love with each other and you both knew each other’s feelings.

But since you had a dating ban, the official statement of the both of you being a couple had to wait, at least until you had a stable name in the business.

,,I don’t think so. They hurt me pretty bad. And besides, for the case I really should come out big, they would only approach me because of the fame,’’ you said, meaning the parents you once loved, at least before they left you.

Vanderwood, at that time, realized how lonely you must have been and since then promised himself to protect you even better.

He loved you no matter what.

,,I will always support you. And I know that there isn’t ,,for the case’’, I know that you will become famous and when the time comes, I know that you will surely leave me behind,’’ he laughed.

,,I will never leave you behind,’’ you said dead seriously.

And the both of you knew, despite not saying anything, you loved each other and nothing could ever change that fact, not even your dream.

ᗰᗩᔕTEᖇᒪIᔕT

06.06.2022 // 22:47 MEST

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dojae-huh · 2 years

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I feel like DY needs a rest. After all, he demands a lot from himself. Atp, 127 already awared of this state, from the ani till now, I feel that they really care him. But I also feel that thanks to the direct interaction w fans, DY gain more strength these days, that makes me feel better. He has JH by his side anyway. Moreover, I believe that this cb is important to the group. I'm bitter that SM messed up w it after seeing their efforts, especially DY's.

He does need a rest, but he needs connection with the fans even more first. He sings for others, that's why exchanging a genre that he himself prefers to a genre that fans will like is worth for him. There are artists who don't want fame or acceptance, for whom creating something of their own for a small market is enough. As such, this comeback will be energising. I see fans telling him they like the covers, want 4 seasons back - the projects dear to him, his projects, not the company's. He won't be able to relax untill he fills in the void at least partially.

I've listened to a talk with a yt psychiatrist with a guy from a medical family. He called to ask for an advice on what to do with his future. The problem was that he realised achievements weren't satisfactory, so he was worried that if he goes into research, he might not be happy in his 40s-60s. He wanted to do big things like get a Nobel prize. The psychiatrist tried to show him how to realise that working with patients can be fulfilling. However, getting a medical degree and helping people improve or even save their lives was "the norm", "the least" for this person from a family of medics.

It seems, Doyoung plans milestones, and gets very low when he doesn't reach them in time. He sets a bar too high. And when he achieves a big thing, the joy lasts for a short time, and a new worry about "it won't last" begins. As the same psychiatrist explained, it's like climbing a tree and instead of looking at the nearest branch and progressing step by step being happy with each small achievement, look up at the very top and be devastated by the sheer length of the path, how far is the goal.

I think the Dome tour was cathartic for many neos. They fullfilled an idol dream (a dome stage) and were given love from thousands of fans who were waiting for them these past 2-3 years. That's why now they can try to relax and enjoy the comeback.

Doyoung is a workaholic. And this type has a very hard time resting, because instead of relaxing the head is filled with "I need to do something" buzz. Maybe Doyoung watches tv-series because they manage to suck him in in another reality and distract from his own life for a bit? We know Doyoung sends bubble messages after midnight on his way back even, sends polls to neos at 2-3 a.m., he always thinks about work. It's also possible he has the first quarter life crisis. He feels like for his age he didn't achieve as much as he planned, that he is falling behind.

There were several messes, but all in all the comeback gets more love than the previous one. SM properly caters to k-fans, satisfying all their previous demands. Remember how livid k-fans were about 127 meeting fans in US and spending a month there? Now they receive the same. A fan can be approached by a neo in a shop, can visit a special well-designed pop-up store and takemany selcas and buy merch. 127 even went to Busan and Daegu, showed that despite being a 6-year old global group, they are still "down to Earth". Lots of performance stages, nice performance clothes, travel diaries, live singing. Killing Voice is reviewed on YT a lot. Hopefully it will give 127 the label of a singing group finally.

I wonder about Neo Seoul though. The IG promo was weird this time, unsatisfactory. I don't know if shorts worked and helped to attract attentioin to the group or not, but where is the party? We never got it? Even if we'll get it in the very end, it's bad to lose the momentum and leave fans in confusion.

#ask me away #glee club conductor #NCT2Baddies #chain reaction

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peach-astrology · 3 years

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Venus in the houses

Venus in the 1st house:

1)They like to take care of themselves.They tend to buy beautiful clothes,high-quality cosmetics and monitor their health.

2)By the way,this is the same friend from whom you can ask what kind of thing to buy.They have good taste and can find beautiful clothes in the cheapest store.

3)In general,they like art and fashion,but they also pay great attention to their personality.They like to improve,they appreciate criticism.

4)Bad aspects indicate low self-esteem.He hates his appearance.It also indicates laziness and inability to defend your opinion.

5)Good aspects indicate a friendly and calm person.He is prone to optimism and he controls his feelings(or rather knows how to deal with them)

Venus in the 2nd house:

1)This position indicates the presence of any talent.With proper development,natural abilities can bring him a good income.

2)Hard work,perseverance and great creative abilities are the key to success and glory of a person.

3)He is attracted to successful and rich people.This position likes to save money or increase it.Sometimes it points to collectors.

4)A large number of aspects indicate that he is loved by people and has a pleasant appearance and voice.

5)Bad aspects indicate greed and inability to manage money.A person likes to live a luxurious life,but can't afford it.

Venus in the 3rd house:

1)Friendly and pleasant to communicate with.Very good position for managers.They know how to get acquainted and avoid conflicts.

2)Has the gift of eloquence.He knows how to express his thoughts easily and beautifully.It is interesting to read and listen to.A good position for writers and poets.

3)I noticed that this is the type of people who learn beautifully.They have beautiful pens,notebooks,markers and even handwriting.Beauty inspires and motivates them.

4)Negative aspects indicate problems with flirting.It is difficult for a person to get acquainted and take the first step in a relationship.

5)Good aspects indicate ease in communicating with the gender that attracts him.He often smiles and feels comfortable.

Venus in the 4th house:

1)The person lived in comfortable conditions.Either he had a very nice house,or he had good food.They often had visitors.Their parents loved each other very much.

2)They have a 100% very beautiful mother.

3)Such a person likes nature and a cozy home.I know a few people in this position who have a house in a quiet place.They like flowers and architecture.They like to watch the design of rooms in Ikea.

4)A large number of trunks indicates that a person is inclined to look at the world through rose-colored glasses.He should look at the world more realistically.Too dreamy.

5)Bad aspects indicate a bad environment in the house.The man lacked love and attention.My parents were always busy.

Venus in the 5th house:

1)They love children.They are good parents,teachers and specialists in the field of child psychology.Their children are often girls,with artistic talent and physical beauty.

2)He likes to celebrate events beautifully and effectively.

3)In a relationship,they love attention and gifts.They love compliments and tend to show their feelings to their partner more often.

4)Bad aspects are indicative to idleness and unwillingness to be serious.A person wants to have fun all the time and not work.

5)The good aspects are indicative of the artistry,charisma and luck.But I would still recommend that they take no chances.

Venus in the 6th house:

1)The position of a perfectionist.If he does the work,he strives to do it well.If he doesn't like it,he'll redo it.

2)A person is very careful about his health.He is attracted to natural beauty(but he doesn’t refuse cosmetics),so he has a lot of care cosmetics.

3)Bad aspects indicate problems with the skin,kidneys,and sometimes blood.

4)Good aspects indicates that the person is easy to communicate with colleagues and to make new friends.He is loved and appreciated at work.

5)Their partner can be a careerist or just a successful person.Sometimes indicates a marriage at work.

Venus in the 7th house:

1)Good aspects indicate a happy marriage.People love and understand each other.They are very similar.

2)The bad aspects indicate that their partners may be trying to seduce or interfere with their marriage.Constant jealousy and envy.

3)This person is very fair,calm and tactful.In communication,he seeks to create comfort.If a topic is unpleasant to him,he will say it directly.

4)Good teamwork skills.Depending on Mars,this person can be a commander or a manager.

5)He loves romance.He likes courtship.On the first date to the extent they are flirting and internally evaluate a potential partner.

Venus in the 8th house:

1)Strong feelings,attracting money,inheritance,profitable marriage.

2)Prone to jealousy and possessiveness.

3)He is sexually attractive,bold and not afraid to take risks.I have a friend with the same situation who wants to jump with a parachute.

4)They are attracted to successful,quiet and slightly gloomy people.They also like confident and powerful people.

5)Indicates a calm and beautiful death(for example,in a dream).They will receive an inheritance from a woman.Bad aspects can indicate the death of a partner.

Venus in the 9th house:

1)Love of philosophy,religion,art,often long trips.High ideals and ideas about love.

2)Getting to know your partner through religion,art,travel.They have a preference for foreigners,other races and religions.Good relations with the partner's parents.

3)The 9th house indicates education and most likely you prefer something unusual and beautiful.For example,philosophy,history,architecture,politics,or foreign languages.

4)In your perfect society,giving up love would be a major sin.You believe that love should fill the world,that people should be more attentive to each other.

5)Negative aspects indicate a bad or incomplete education and the threat of travel.

Venus in the 10th house:

1)They are very graceful,stylishly dressed,although not necessarily expensive.But they still look successful and successful,even if there is very little money in the account.

2)They can only do what brings them pleasure,so they choose a job for love.This helps them achieve great success in their chosen field of activity.

3)Sometimes indicates a late marriage.A person seeks to realize himself in a career,and then create a family.

4)Excellent speakers,they are able to win the attention of the public and be the center of attention.They speak clearly and beautifully.

5)Negative aspects indicate harmful workaholism.A person forgets about his health and family and thinks only about his career.

Venus in the 11th house:

1)Very often I notice that their friend later becomes a partner.So take a closer look at your group of friends:)

2)Good aspects indicate sociability,a person has good friends and they help him develop.

3)Bad aspects indicate that it is difficult for a person to get acquainted.It is unusual and doesn’t match any of the companies of people.Often indicates unrequited love.

4)You are inspired by other people.You can get to know a person and be impressed by their hobby,and the next day try it out.If you want to get inspired,go to Pinterest or write to your friends.

5)You are attracted to smart and modern people.Your partner will teach you something new.Sometimes indicates that their partner works in the field of technology or science.

Venus in the 12th house:

1)A person likes peace and solitude.He is shy in terms of feelings and rarely shows them openly.

2)This is a position I often see in feminists.They have a lot of thoughts about marriage and women's rights.They value equal marriage and relationships.

3)He may have an unpleasant experience in a relationship.For example,he had a toxic partner or an affair.

4)Good intuition and imagination.They are inspired by music,peace and quiet.They themselves are a huge vessel of creativity.

5)Bad aspects indicate difficulties in communicating with a partner.A person experiences many feelings and thoughts and can’t understand them.The partner tries to understand them,but can't.There is an understatement and misunderstanding.

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tyongxnct · 3 years

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𝑡𝘩𝑒 𝘩𝑒𝑎𝑟𝑡 𝑤𝑎𝑛𝑡𝑠 𝑤𝘩𝑎𝑡 𝑖𝑡 𝑤𝑎𝑛𝑡𝑠 - 𝐿𝑒𝑒 𝑇𝑎𝑒𝑦𝑜𝑛𝑔

pairing: Taeyong x reader

special guest: Mark Lee

summary: You and Taeyong promised each other to go through everything together. You both dreamed of the music industry and after so many years, you finally got the opportunity to sign a contract with a big company, but they only wanted you, not Taeyong and you. At first, you didn’t want to do anything without Taeyong, but he encouraged you and supported you, but after your big success, Taeyong changed and his jealousy destroyed your relationship.

song: the heart wants what it wants - Selena Gomez

genre: idol!au, angst

warnings: mention of alcohol, swearing

word count: 4,8k

A/N: I really love this one and I hope you enjoy it as much as I do, listen to the heart wants what it wants by Selena Gomez while reading!! 💖

taglist: @alex-chann

I was on stage and I was thinking of... I felt like I know him though I know his heart And I know what he wouldn't do to hurt me But I didn't realize that Feeling so confident, feeling so great about myself... And then it just be completely shattered by one thing By something so stupid But then you make me feel crazy baby Feel like it's my fault I was in pain…

The award in your one hand and your phone in your other hand. You were nervous, almost scared. You whole body was trembling, and your lips were about to bleed, you chewed on them without feeling any pain.

You looked on your phone, for the millionth time in the last three minutes and there was still no call and no text.

You felt like the dress you were wearing, the beautiful golden dress, was suffocating you. It was tight around your waist and with every passing second it got tighter.

You clutched your heart.

Are you dying?

You can’t breathe.

Is this it?

Your vision is blurry, tears filled your eyes.

“Y/n! Can you hear us? Hey, honey, are you alright? Look at me.” This was your manager, she tried to calm you down. You were going to die, there was no other way to stop the pain.

“Someone bring me a fucking bottle of water!” she yelled to the crew in your dressing room. “You did it, Y/n! Artist of the year award is in your hands! This was your dream!”

You looked at the award in your hand.

Artist of the year.

Did you deserve this? Of course you did. You worked day and night, non-stop without any breaks, this was your dream and you did everything you could to achieve this.

But did you really deserve this?

“You looked absolutely gorgeous on-stage Y/n! Honey, you moved everyone with your speech! It was beautiful, you’re trending first place worldwide on twitter!” she told you as she handed you the bottle of water. Your throat was dry, and you finished the whole bottle in one go.

“Thank you.” You said and then you turned your phone off. He wasn’t going to text you anyway.

The water helped you calm down and the crew and your manager cheered and popped a champagne bottle. Today was your day, and you had to push every painful thought away and just be happy for once.

After the award show you found yourself in your bed, but it was hard to fall asleep. You could see the sun rising and the clock on your wall told you that it was almost 6am. You were awake the whole night, alone in a cold bed without him keeping you warm.

The bedroom door was suddenly opened with him stumbling inside. The heavy smell of alcohol surrounded the whole room. When he saw you looking at him, he laughed. He walked towards the bed and almost tripped on his way.

“Oops.” He giggled to himself.

You starred at him, curious about his next move.

“I saw y-you on the tv. You looked so small.” He laughed again like a little boy. He took off his socks and then his shirt.

“Do you know why I was on the tv?” you asked him.

“I don’t know and I don’t care.” With that, he got under the blankets and turned his back to you.

Tonight was one of the most important nights of your life and Taeyong simply didn’t care.

The bed's getting cold and you're not here The future that we hold is so unclear But I'm not alive until you call And I'll bet the odds against it all Save your advice 'cause I won't hear You might be right but I don't care There's a million reasons why I should give you up But the heart wants what it wants The heart wants what it wants

Your history with Taeyong started when you were both around twelve years old. The typical childhood friends to lovers. You had your first kiss with him when you were fifteen, you officially started dating when you were sixteen and you had your first time when you were eighteen. Years later, with twenty-three, every memory, every special day with him wasn’t the same anymore.

You two always dreamed of becoming the greatest couple in the music industry. You promised each other to go through this together and love each other forever. Taeyong was more into rap and producing and you were more into writing lyrics and singing. For the first couple years everything was perfect, but it was also exhausting and tiring. The music industry was harder than you imagined and the day you signed a contract with a big company, without Taeyong, was the day your relationship started falling apart.

You didn’t want to sign the contract. It was always Taeyong and you or nothing. Taeyong felt bad and didn’t want that to happen, he couldn’t be selfish just because it took longer to achieve his own dream. Taeyong worked in your studio, you let him spend as much time as he wanted and he produced song after song but nobody wanted to sign him. Your company offered Taeyong a job as a producer to produce a couple songs for you and other artists, he accepted the offer and hoped that one day, he could produce something for himself.

Taeyong supported you at first. The day you released your first self-written single, he surprised you with a big party and a promise ring. A promise to be with you forever. When you released your first full album, your fanbase grew even faster and you album hit first place on almost every chart. You were twenty-three and you were a star.

Taeyong was distant after you released your first album. He never left the studio and produced day and night. Every time you tried to get close to him, he’d find an excuse to push you away. No company wanted him, and he was going crazy. You understood, you tried to keep your own stuff for yourself and never talked about your job, you didn’t want to hurt him more.

While you got more popular, Taeyong’s hate towards music grew and one day, he just stopped.

“There’s no need for me to keep doing this. I don’t want this anymore. I need money to pay for this apartment, I need money to buy food and-“ he rambled nervously.

“Taeyong, you know that money is no problem for us anymore. This was your dream, you can’t just give up-“

“Oh please, don’t start with that bullshit. I don’t want your fucking money! Keep it to yourself! Go buy yourself some diamonds or I don’t fucking know, a house or no, go buy yourself a plane!”

Taeyong hated it whenever you talked about money. He hated it that you gained more money than him and provided for you two. The thought of you now paying for the apartment drove him crazy.

“Taeyong, I don’t want you to stop trying. Just let me pay the rent, I love you I just want to help-“ You loved Taeyong so much and you knew how much music actually means to him.

“I don’t want your fucking help. You’re not paying the rent. End of discussion.” And like every other night, he left you alone and went to a bar.

You knew you shouldn’t, but you did it anyway.

You bought the apartment you were living in and didn’t say anything to Taeyong. For two months, he didn’t notice that the money he paid for the apartment was back on his bank account. You knew that he’d find out sooner or later, but you couldn’t sit back and watch him destroy himself anymore.

But one day, he noticed, and you thought it was really the end of your relationship. The future you always dreamed of was nowhere to be seen.

“Do you really think that low of me?! Do you really think I can’t even fucking pay rent?! Huh?! How could you do something like that behind my back!” he yelled at you.

“Taeyong, please. I did it for us. I don’t want you to worry about money, I can help-“

“No! No you fucking can’t help! I don’t want your fucking money! You think, now that you are fucking famous you can do whatever the fuck you want?! Is that how it works? Just because you sing like anyone else, you can do whatever you want? I don’t even get why people are listening to your fucking music! It sound like every other artist singing you’re not special, not unique! You don’t have any fucking talent but here we are, you get the contract and not me, someone with actual talent.”

Every word that left his mouth, felt like a knife piercing in your heart. You finally heard how he really felt about your success and it broke you apart. You never wanted it to go this far.

You sobbed, you felt numb and his gaze on you didn’t help. Maybe he was right. There was nothing special about you. He deserved to be in your position.

“I-I’m sorry-“ you blurred out, “D-do you want me to g-go?”

Taeyong’s gaze softened, you looked like you were about to fall apart, and he couldn’t catch you because it was his faut in first place.

Did he want to break up? Was it over now? Do you have to leave the love of your life now?

“N-No, I’ll leave.”

And you didn’t see him for next hours.

You did nothing except for crying while listening to your songs. He was right, there was nothing special about your voice. You were like anyone else. No talent, how did people even listen to you?

It was late, past 3 am.

You were still crying, and you thought that Taeyong left you- forever. You took off the promise ring and tried to fall asleep, but he entered the room, and you could feel his presence behind you.

Taeyong hugged you from behind and cried. His head fell in the crook of your neck and he cried with you in his arms, you were also crying.

“I’m sorry, I’m so so sorry.” He whimpered. “I didn’t mean anything I said. You’re perfect, the best of the best. I’m sorry, please don’t leave me. I love you.”

You turned to him. When he saw the tears on your face, he stroked them away and kissed your cheeks. “Please don’t cry- I’m sorry that I hurt you.”

You did the same with his tears and he noticed the missing ring on your finger. “W-Where is the ring?”

“I’m sorry, I took it off. I thought you’d leave m-me.” You told him and he cried harder. “No baby I’d never leave you. I’m sorry, please don’t take it off. I still mean it.”

You turned to your nightstand and put it back on.

“I’m sorry. I’m stupid and an idiot. T-This is just driving me crazy- Am I not good enough? What am I doing wrong?” he said, you could see in his eyes that he was in pain and it hurt you so much to see him like this.

“You are not doing anything wrong. You’re perfect, they are just blind and don’t see how great you are. They don’t know what real music is, Tae. You are so talented and please don’t stop trying.”

You put your head on his chest and listened to his heartbeat.

“A-Are you serious? O-Or are you just saying that to make me stop crying like a baby?” he pouted.

“I’m telling the truth. I’m not biased here. Well, I do love you but I’m really telling you the truth. You are the most talented person I know.”

“Thank you.” He kissed your head. “I’m sorry. I’m so sorry for earlier- I hate myself for saying that to you.”

“It’s okay, I know that you didn’t mean it.”

“I love you so much, never leave me, okay?” he said softly.

“I love you too.”

You got me scattered in pieces Shining like stars and screaming Lighting me up like Venus But then you disappear and make me wait And every second's like torture Hell over trip, no more so Finding a way to let go Baby, baby, no I can't escape

It didn’t stay like that. Not even weeks later, you were back to the cold and distant Taeyong, he was still the same cold guy who hated your success with a burning passion.

Two weeks later, you were back at the studio, after you won the artist of the year award, in the studio working on some music with a hungover Taeyong. He still didn’t talk to you about the fact that you won the artist of the year award and you were not going to say anything about it.

You were distant. You tried to keep your thoughts to yourself and only talked whenever it was really needed.

“Try again.” He said for the fifth time.

Your throat hurt after last night and singing the same verse over and over again didn’t help.

“Taeyong can I take a break?” you asked.

“Mrs. Artist of the year wants to take a break? That’s not so professional of you. Artists don’t take breaks. They try and try until it’s perfect.”

First of all, you thought he didn’t know that you won artist of the year? And second, so he knew but he didn’t even show you a tiny bit of love. You won the biggest award of the year and your boyfriend hated you for that.

“But my throat hurts- I can’t hit the notes.”

“Drink some water.” He pointed at the water in the recording room.

And then you tried and tried to hit the note, but your voice gave up.

“Fine. That’s it for tonight. We won’t get any further with that voice of yours.” He said coldly.

When you left the little recording room, you gathered your things together but Taeyong didn’t move. “Aren’t we going home?” you asked.

“You can go, I’ll stay a little longer.”

And without saying anything or kissing him goodbye, you left.

The pain in your throat got worse and talking was difficult. You were talking to your manager about a potential tour, but after one sentence your voice broke. You stopped talking immediately, the pain only got worse whenever you tried to talk. “Here drink this tea. You should stop recording for a couple days, maybe even weeks.” You nodded, your voice was still there, but you didn’t want to risk losing it completely.

A couple days later, you talked to your boss about taking a break for a couple months, a short hiatus to calm your voice and throat and just write lyrics for your upcoming album. You decided to leave the city and rent a little beach house. Your manager was happy, you were happy but Taeyong, well, Taeyong just laughed at you.

“Taeyong, I just told you that I’m going to take a break and you’re just laughing?”

“Our little pop-star got enough of being the star? Why? Are they paying you too little?” he said mockingly.

“You know that this isn’t about money! I’m stressed, I’m not feeling good. My voice is always breaking, it even hurts to talk.”

“You can’t even handle that, can you? What kind of singer are you? Pathetic.”

You had enough. You really had enough.

“I’m the pathetic one? Look at yourself for once! You did this to me! I’m recording 24/7 and you don’t give me a single break! How is my voice supposed to handle that?! Tell me! You hate me so much, you weren’t even there for me when I won that stupid award! We talked so much about being there for each other in the past, but you threw everything away because of your jealousy! You weren’t there when I needed you the most even though I’m always there for you. You promised me b-but I’ve had enough… I can’t let you tear me down. I worked so hard, but It feels like a punishment to sing.” Once again, your voice broke.

“I want you to leave my apartment. I don’t want to see you or any of your stuff here. I’m done with you breaking my heart.”

Fortunately, your bags were already in the car, you thought maybe Taeyong would come with you, to relax and remind him of the love you once shared. But after what he had said, you just couldn’t stay with him anymore.

Taeyong looked at you, eyes wide open and lips trembling. Was he about to cry? Impossible. He must be happy that you’re finally leaving him.

“Y-You’re breaking up with me?” he asked slowly.

You took off the ring and placed it on the shelf next to you.

You turned around without saying anything and walked out of the door and when you finally closed the door of the car, you cried. Taeyong didn’t realize that you just left him. He was staring at the ring, he couldn’t move, he wanted to go after you, but his legs were numb.

After more than 10 Years, you left him. You had promised each other that you’d never leave each other but he also promised to be there for you.

This is a modern fairy tale No happy endings No wind in our sails But I can't imagine a life without Breathless moments Breaking me down, down, down, down

You lived at the beach for five months and you had no contact to anyone except your manager and a couple of producers you met. Your manager was always there for you after your breakup with Taeyong. You wrote so many songs in the past months, only love songs. Sad ballads about broken hearts.

You were scared to go back, scared of seeing him in the studio and scared that you actually weren’t ready to go back on stage, but after a long talk with your manager, you felt ready. Your five months hiatus helped you feel better about yourself and gain more confidence.

You woke up to the sounds of waves and you fell asleep to them. Your body relaxed and your throat didn’t hurt anymore. You felt good and you were ready to face the reality you were living in.

Your manager talked to some producers and that’s when you met Mark Lee. A young producer from Canada who was really talented, and you couldn’t wait to work with someone who wasn’t Taeyong. The car stopped in front of the building you tried to avoid for the last months. Your driver kindly opened your door and helped you get out.

“Thank you.” You said politely and entered the building with a nervous heart. Your manager told you that Taeyong was still working in the company, just for other artists and you hoped that you’d never cross paths.

You softly knocked on the door.

“You can come in!”

You opened the door and greeted Mark. It wasn’t your first time meeting him. He visited you at the beach house to talk about your new songs.

“My favorite singer is finally here in my office!” he said happily and hugged you softly. You hugged him back and sighed, “I don’t know If I’m ready.”

“Of course you are. We are going to produce some hits for you. I mean the songs you wrote are sad but like a good sad and everyone loves a good ballad.”

His studio was a little bigger than Taeyong’s and it was also warmer, the vibe was definitely better here. “Well we’ll see about that-“

“Yo Mark do you want to-“ suddenly someone entered the studio and when you turned around time stopped.

Taeyong looked, well, he looked like he always looked and that was perfect. His hair was a pretty shade of blue, he looked mesmerizing.

His eyes widened, his hand on the doorknob tightened and his body tensed. You weren’t doing any better. Your grip on your bag also tightened and your heart clenched.

Mark did know a little bit about your history with Taeyong, and the tension right now was crazy.

“H-Hi.” Taeyong said nervously.

“Hey.” You just said back, trying to avoid his gaze.

“You’re back.”

You nodded, not knowing what to say.

“So, Mark is a new producer here-“

“Yeah I know. I’m going to work with him.” You simply said.

“Oh, t-that’s good. I mean he’s good. Mark is really good.” He mumbled. Taeyong tried to meet your eyes, your beautiful pretty eyes he had missed so much, but you looked down to your feet.

“Uhm, Taeyong, I guess I’ll talk to you later?” Mark tried to save you from this awkward situation.

“Yeah sure.” He slowly left the room and you thought you’d die any second.

“That was so awkward.” Mark said and wiped the sweat from his forehead, “I can’t handle awkward situations, shit I thought we were all going to cry any minute.”

“Let’s start, I need to distract myself.”

Taeyong held his heart tightly when he entered his own studio. He wanted to ask Mark to order some food, but seeing you there after months, looking beautiful as ever.

Taeyong missed you and he was more than happy that you were back, even though you weren’t a couple anymore. You looked healthier and happier and he hated himself whenever he thought about the past. He was an asshole to you, you never deserved his stupid attitude. Losing you was his own fault and he had to leave you alone.

But Taeyong is selfish.

The past two months, you recorded and recorded. You new album was done, and you were able to perform on stage after a long time again. You were extremely nervous, but it also felt like a relief to perform the heart wants what it wants with a big audience.

Each song on your album had a deep meaning. After getting your heart shattered into many pieces, you wrote sad but beautiful lyrics. Everyone goes through heartbreak which is why so many people could relate to your songs.

“Are you ready honey?” you manager asked you.

“I hope I don’t cry.” You tried to joke but everyone knew you were actually serious. “It’s okay to cry. Just go on stage and let it all out.”

You hugged her and even Mark was there to cheer on you. “You’ll do amazing. The songs are amazing and you’re going to deliver them perfectly. Don’t worry.” Mark said as he hugged you tightly.

It felt like a déjà vu. You were in the waiting room almost a year later after you won the Artist of the year award, this time before you performed, and you still hoped to get a text from a certain someone. Did Taeyong even knew that you were going to perform tonight?

You breathed in and out and when you were on stage you poured your heart out.

When the performance ended, you didn’t cry. You almost did, but in the end you didn’t. The genuine smile on your face showed the relief you felt and that you finally reached happiness after years of looking for it.

You left the stage and adrenalin was pumping through your veins. A big smile was on your lips and when you entered your waiting room to celebrate with your crew, there was no one inside except for one person.

“Taeyong?” you asked, not sure If you were imagining him.

“Hey,” he looked you up and down, “You look gorgeous. Absolutely beautiful.”

You were shocked. Is it really him? “W-What are you doing here?”

“I watched your performance. Front row. I wanted to be in the crowd and watch you perform. It was phenomenal. You were breathtaking.”

He stepped closer, “W-Was the song about me?” he whispered.

You nodded, tears were about to fall down your cheeks.

“I’m sorry. I’m so sorry that I hurt you. I was a blind little boy, I was so obsessed with the idea of me and the music industry that I forgot about you and your feelings and I can’t tell you how much I hate myself for that. You were always my number one priority, b-but then… all I could see was red and I let my anger and frustration out on you. I love you more than anything and instead of loving you I tried to hurt you and I thought it would make me feel better about myself, but it didn’t, and I realized that when it was too late. You left me and I was absolutely devastated. I couldn’t imagine my life without, and I still can’t. You were always a part of me, and I don’t want to lose the most important part of my life. No one and nothing on this planet is more important to me than you are. You are my world and when you left, my world stopped spinning and I didn’t know what to do. The first time I saw you after our breakup I-I couldn’t believe it. I couldn’t believe that you were real and that I lost someone as beautiful and kind as you. I don’t need to be an artist. I don’t need fans- I just need you. My number one fan and supporter.”

You were bawling your eyes out and you couldn’t stop yourself from crying harder and harder.

Taeyong was also always a part of you. Everything you achieved was thanks to him. He was the one who taught you how to play the guitar and the piano. Taeyong helped you find your voice when you were younger, and you found your passion for music and singing all thanks to him.

You went through so much, and you never stopped loving him. You loved him on every single day since the first time you met him until now.

He came to support you. He watched your performance and it felt so good to see him here. Your heart was beating against your chest and you couldn’t talk, you were scared that your voice might break, but it didn’t matter. You didn’t need to.

One step, two steps and you were standing right in front of him.

Taeyong’s face was completely wet from his tears and his big doe eyes trembled, tears still rolling down his pretty face.

You cupped his cheeks and pulled him closer to press your lips on his.

You couldn’t remember the last time you had kissed him or touched him. His lips were perfectly on yours, slowly kissing you with so much longing and passion.

He dropped the bouquet of roses in his hands and pulled you even closer. His hands were on your waist, holding you tightly. He was scared that you’d slip away or that he’d break you. He kissed you tenderly, you were so fragile in his hands he was scared to break you with a simple touch.

The two of you pulled away slowly, he never let go of you though. You hid your face in the crook of his neck and sobbed silently.

“I’m sorry. I’m so sorry.” He whispered to you and hugged you as tightly as he could. He would never let go of you again.

“I love you so much Taeyong. I always loved you so much and I don’t think I can love anyone as much as I love you. I also need you in my life- the months without you- I just wanted to go back to the days we were happy. I miss those days so much Taeyong. I love my job, but I love you more.”

“I love you so much. I love you. More than anything else. I promise you I’ll give you everything you deserve and so much more. Okay baby? Just like back in the days. You and me against the world.”

“Promise?”

“Promise.”

After everything you’ve been through, you couldn’t let go of him. No matter how many times your cried yourself to sleep, in the end, the heart wants what it wants and yours wanted Taeyong.

The heart wants what it wants, baby It wants what it wants, baby It wants what it wants It wants what it wants

The heart wants what it wants, baby It wants what it wants

#taeyong #lee taeyong #taeyong angst #nct #nct127 #nct127 angst #nct angst #taeyong x y/n #taeyong scenarios #taeyong x reader #nct fic #nct songfic #nct 127 taeyong #nct imagines #nct scenarios

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salty-rey · 3 years

Text

Singing for the Troops

Pairing: Fives x Reader

Words: 3948

Warnings: Fluff! Open-ending (sexual mention???)

A/N: Hello everyone! This is the first time I do a fic for Star Wars, so I apologize in advance if I mislabeled certain ships. Or if I didn’t do the boys’ personalities any justice.

I was inspired by old performances/entertainment for the Allied troops in WWII, and after watching Christina Aguilera’s Candyman music video. Then I thought, “do the clones get any kind of entertainment like this?” So I took it upon myself to make a fan fic!

Hope you guys like it!

I don’t know how to end a fic....

Playlist: Something’s Got a Hold On Me | Candyman | Ain’t No Other Man

Your dream is to become a famous singer, and you have been working hard for years to reach this goal. You have been visiting various bars and cantinas, singing for patrons whenever the owner allowed it. Even if you were paid or not, you still sang. If a bar had an open mic night, you were there. Out of all the bars you’ve been to, 79s has always been a favorite. It was always packed, and the owner was happy to have you sing for the guests. It always brought more patrons, which meant more money for the establishment. Plus, you were even paid, unlike previous locations.

After a few months of you visiting 79s, you attracted the attention of a particular ARC trooper. When you finished your playlist of songs, both originals and covers, you were given a glass of whiskey.

“Compliments from the ARC trooper,” the droid server told you before gesturing to the said trooper in blue.

Looking over, you spotted the clone who raised their glass to you, sending a wink your way. Even though they all share the same face, this clone had a distinctive number tattoo on the side of his head and a classic goatee hugging his chin. It wasn’t the first time that someone bought a drink for you. Troopers before had attempted to grab your attention, even tried to get lucky for a night, but you brushed them off. But there was something about this trooper that was welcoming. Perhaps the way he smiled at you or the way he spoke to you. He was causal yet not dull. Flirty, too but it didn’t make you uncomfortable. You become bashful at his witty comments. It felt as though the two of you were long-time friends.

The ARC Trooper introduced himself as Fives and greeted you to his fellow brothers. There, you met Echo, Jesse, Kix, and Hardcase. They all serve under Jedi Knight Anakin Skywalker, aka “Skyguy,” as to how Padawan Learner Ahsoka Tano calls him. They had stories to share with you; their missions on other planets engrossed you. In turn, you told them about your dreams to become a singer.

“It’s silly, I know. Been lectured by my parents for years.” You lightly laughed, only to become surprised at the boys’ reactions.

“No dream is silly!” “Anyone who says otherwise is just jealous of your voice!” “I don’t know what it’s like to have parents, but they should be supportive of you.”

“If that’s your dream, then go after it. To kriff what other people say.” Fives huffed before fully turning to you. “Who can say that they had dreams but didn’t achieve them because they thought it was unrealistic? I’m going to see you on a big stage one day, and I’m going to say, “That’s our songbird.” Because you will always have us cheering you on.” The trooper said with a soft smile.

A blush crept onto your face, and a smile was spreading cheek to cheek. “Thanks, Fives!”

After that night, you and the boys exchanged your private commlinks. Soon enough than anyone would like, they were shipped back to the battlefield. While they were away, if there were any downtime between missions and work, you would hear your holoprojector beeping. You spent hours talking to each trooper, glad to see that they were doing well. Fives was the one who spent the most time with you, almost talking the night away. He would only stop when he saw your head dipping and your eyes blinking to stay awake.

“Go to sleep, songbird. I’ll talk to you as soon as I can. With any luck, we should be landing back to Coruscant within the month.” So fives said, his holo-imagine occasionally flickering due to the distance.

After letting out a yawn, you rubbed your eyes and smile at him. “Okay. Be safe out there, okay?”

“Anything for my songbird,” Fives smirked. He then bid you goodnight with a soft smile, and he was gone.

Within the month, the 501st had returned to Coruscant, and you met up with the boys back at 79s. The bar 79s was packed as usual, especially on a weekend evening. Troopers from all kinds of battalions were here, drinking and dancing, retelling stories with their brothers and civilians. The music was pumping, and the dance floor was full of slightly or fully intoxicated soldiers.

Tight hugs and smiles were exchanged when you were reunited with the boys at the bar before entering and finding an empty booth for you all to sit. Echo had left the table to get everyone their drinks as you and boys caught up.

“I heard that there this campaign being made for singers by singers and that they want to sing for you troopers.” So you told them, raising for your a bit so that they can hear you over the music.

Singing for the Troops was a campaign created by independent singers on Coruscant. Singers who supported the clones and believed that the troops deserve a moment of peace and perhaps experience some form of normality, which may be entirely new to them. What clone can say that they have been to a concert? Plus, it would give the artists a moment to shine and perhaps score big with a sponsor. It’s a win-win situation!

“The campaign reached several Republic-allied planets, encouraging other singers to sign up. Not just that, but it’s was being crowdfunded, and it reached its price goal! Also, I heard that a famous singer is the main supporter of the campaign,” you informed as Echo passed around everyone’s drinks.

“You should sign up!” Kix said after taking a sip of his drink.

“I don’t know. I never sang for a large crowd. Let alone been off-world.” You replied nervously, your hands fiddling with the glass of liquor.

“That never stopped you singing at bars!” Hardcase responded before downing his drink in one gulp.

“Just imagine that you’re singing to us! We already have the same faces.” Jesse joked before wincing at the sudden punch to the shoulder.

“Look, songbird; you’re a great singer. And you’ve sung in front of countless drunken troops. So singing in front of a bunch of sober soldiers will be easy,” Fives chimed in, leaning forward and resting his arms on the table. “All those other singers will be lucky to have you join them.” He said before winking, a smirk on his face.

Your cheeks felt warm, and it wasn’t because of the liquor. “Thanks, Fives.” A soft smile formed on your lips, happy to hear his compliments. You then sighed before downing the rest of your drink. “Alright. I’ll do it!”

“Alright. A toast to (Y/N)!” Kix cheered, raising his glass, and the rest joined in.

The next day, you wasted no time in signing up for a chance to sing in the campaign. The requirements are to submit a recording of your singing, and if you are selected, you will receive a message at the earliest notice. When you waited for a response, you and the boys roam the upper mid-levels of Coruscant, taking time to hang out before the boys were shipped back to war. It always felt bittersweet saying goodbye, but you knew that it wouldn’t be for long.

It will be much longer.

Arriving at your apartment from working your day job, you noticed that your holoprojector was blinking; someone left a message for you. A tightening sensation was felt in the pit of your stomach, your heart racing as you approached your holoprojector. You stared at the blinking light. Did one of the boys leave a message for you? No, they know your schedule, so it possible it isn’t them.

Is it from the campaign? Your heart hammered hard against your ribcage as your hand reached over. Then, what felt like many minutes, you finally pressed the button, the image of a well-dressed man appearing.

“Evening, miss (Y/N). I am the manager of the campaign Singing for the Troops, and I’m here to congratulate you. You have been selected to be one of our singers! We hope to hear from you soon.” The recording ended with a courtesy bow from the man, leaving you standing there in shock.

Did he just say that you were accepted? Does that mean you get to go off-world and sing?!

A squeal of joy echoed throughout your apartment, you jumping in place. “I did it!!” You cheered before reaching for your holoprojector. You had to tell the boys! You had to tell Fives!

After several minutes to reach them, no one answered your calls. Your smile slowly turned into a frown before sighing in defeat. “They’re at war, (Y/N)... they’re probably outside of their base. I’ll just leave them a message about the good news.”

Later in the day, you contacted the campaign manager and agreed to meet with them for further instruction. The plan was to visit various battalions and sing for them during downtime. It will be difficult, and the campaign will have to plan, seeing battalion will go first. During those long weeks of planning, meeting other artists, and vocal practices, there still was no response from the boys. It wouldn’t be the first time you didn’t hear from Fives and the others, although you couldn’t help but worry.

“Once everyone arrives onto Coruscant, we will first visit the 104th Battalion,” the campaign manager informed everyone via holoprojector.

“The Wolfpack Co.,” you whispered to yourself. Fives told you about this battalion, having pointed a couple of them out back at 79’s. Fives said to you that the unit within the 104th was a serious, no-nonsense type of group. Entertaining this group and the rest of the battalion will be a challenge.

The manager continued to list other battalions and legions until one of them caught your attention. “501st and finally, the 212th.”

“Bottom of the list...” You whispered, frowning lightly. How long will it take for you to reach the 501st Legion?

The meeting concluded with a buzz of excitement. It was happening. For reals! In a few days, you will be flying out of Coruscant for the first time, following your dreams.

Before the faithful day could arrive, you decided to reach the boys once more. You sat with anticipation, your knee bouncing as you waited for someone to answer. Finally, after several beeps, the projector came to life, and standing before you was Fives.

“Fives! Thank the Maker,” you sighed in relief before glaring up at him. “Why hasn’t anyone returned my messages?”

The ARC Trooper lightly winced at your tone before smiling apologetically. “Sorry, songbird. The mission was a lot tougher than we first thought. But we finally liberated the planet from Separatist control. The boys and I are fine. I’m sorry for worrying you.” He said, frowning and eyes cast downward.

You opened your mouth to speak before shutting, looking away as well. “No, it’s not your fault. I’m sorry, I shouldn’t have snapped at you. We’re at war, and I know that you won’t always be there for our calls. I just....” You began to say but couldn’t finish your sentence.

“I know.” Fives stared at you, eyebrows knitted. “(Y/N)?” Looking back up, he was now smiling at you ever so sweetly that it made you blush. “Congrats on getting picked. I knew you would get in.”

You blinked up at the ARC trooper before smiling. The two of you spend a couple of hours talking, quickly making up for the lost time. You told him the battalions that you were going to visit, and he groaned in annoyance. “Why do we have to be at the bottom of the list?”

“I guess the 104th battalion are in dire need to put some smile on their faces—especially that sourpuss Wolffe.” You teased, causing Fives to laugh.

“That’s going to be one hell of a challenge. I don’t think I saw Commander Wolffe smile before.”

“I welcome a challenge. And I’ll sure be the one to turn his scowl into a grin.” You puffed out your chest in pride.

Fives chuckles at your comical posture, lightly shaking his head. “If anyone can, it’s you.” You relax, returning to an upright position, looking back up at the trooper. The two of you stare at each other in silence, observing each other’s features.

His armor was scuffed and dirtied. There are new scratches and dents throughout, roughing his paint job. His face looked tired, yet there was a glow in his eyes, staring at you in what it appears to be loving.

“I can’t wait to see you again, pretty girl,” Fives spoke, breaking the silence.

That was a new nickname, and it caused you to blush once more. Despite feeling embarrassed, you smiled back. “Me too. Take care, okay?”

“Anything for my songbird,” he repeated all those weeks ago.

Who knew participating in a singing campaign would last for so long. Then again, the war is still going on, so landing on Star Destroyers only happens when the surrounding area was safe. But it was all worth it. Seeing the joy on the troops’ faces and feeling their excitement as the music vibrated throughout the hanger was rewarding.

Working with the manager and group of artists was a great experience as well. Many of the singers were friendly, sharing their stories of how they got into music. Many of them were humans; one was a Twi’lek, another was a Pantoran, and a couple more alien species. Listening to them sing in their native tongue was thrilling, giving you goosebumps at the realization that there are so many cultures out there. So much more for you to learn, and what better place than here.

As the list of locations was getting shorter, you felt more nervous and excited as you got closer to the 501st legion. You were going to see Fives and the others soon. It’s been months since you last saw them. I tried staying in touch with them via holoprojector, but it was getting more complicated since you were busy as well. But that will all change as you near the Star Destroyer that the famous boys in blue occupied. Although, you were nervous for an entirely different reason. You would do something big, having already talked about it to the manager, band, and fellow singers would help be your backup singers. You’re taking a big chance, and there’s no turning back now.

The ship that you and the rest of the artist travel on docked, allowing the whole group to exit. The hangar will house the concert. That same space will also enable the troopers can dance and sing along. In a matter of hours, the soldiers set the stage, and the singers filed onto the hanger. Just like every other Star Destroyer, the stage is decked with standing spotlights and a curtain to act as a background. It also shields the rest of the group whenever they’re not performing.

You watched your fellow singers perform on stage, peeking from the corner of the curtain where the rest of the artists prepared themselves. As the crowd cheered and danced in place, your eyes scanned around the group. But at your current angle, you can’t see past the first few rows of troopers. So the only way to spot your boys is when you perform on stage. And it was happening real soon.

Three more singers performed, some of them accompanied by background singers or dancers. Then, it was your turn.

“Now, please welcome (Y/N)!” The manager introduced, and the crowd cheered as you walked on stage. Dressed in your performance outfit, you approached the microphone stand. Your eyes quickly scanned around the group, searching until a voice rang out from the sea of white and blue.

“That’s my songbird!!!”

Your eyes snapped to the source, and you softly gasped. There he was—your favorite ARC trooper.

Fives was waving his hands at you, a broad grin on his face. Standing by his sides were Echo, Hardcase, Jesse, and Kix. They were waving at you too, whistling and clapping their hands. They were all here. They are all safe and sound. You felt a weight come off your shoulders, blinking your eyes to fight back the tears.

Gripping the microphone, you paused for a second before opening your mouth. Your voice projected throughout the hangar as you sang out your first couple of lyrics. “Oh, sometimes I get a good feeling, yeah/I get a feeling that I never, never, never had before no, no/And I just wanna tell you right now that I-/I believe, I really do believe that/Something’s got a hold on me.”

“(Oh, it must be love),” your backup singers sang softly after you. Drums began to play. A soft bass followed along as you continued to sing. Your feet carried you around the stage, feeling the beat. The large crowd of troopers resumed their dancing, stomping their feet and cheering as you reached the middle of your song. Standing at the center of the stage and facing forward, your eyes then locked to Fives’s as you sang out the next couple of lyrics.

“My heart feels heavy, my feet feel light/I shake all over, but I feel alright/I never felt like this before/Something’s got a hold on me that won’t let go/I never thought it could happen to me/Got me happy when I’m in misery/I never thought it could be this way/Love’s sure gonna put a hurting on me.”

The whole time, neither one of you broke eye contact. You can see the look of surprise appearing on the ARC trooper’s face before shifting to one of love, a smile decorating his face. The other boys looked surprised at your words before looking at Fives. It was evident that their brother had a thing for you since day one, but to have you tell him of your feelings ---incredibly so bold like this--- was shocking. But they began to cheer, Echo smacking Jesse’s back as his brother rolled his eyes before depositing a small number of credits.

You grinned at the end of your song. Then, having witnessed the reaction from the boys, you blushed a bit. Glancing back at the band, you nodded your head. Drums began to play, followed by a couple of trumpets. “I met him out for dinner on a Friday night/He really got me working up an appetite,” you began to sing, moving your hips to the beat. The crowd started up again, dancing along to the sound of your voice. “He’s a one stop shop, makes my cherry pop/He’s a sweet talkin’, sugar coated candyman!”

“Well, by now, I’m getting all bothered and hot/When he kissed my mouth, it really hit the spot/He had lips like sugarcane/Good things come for boys who wait!” So you sang, smiling at Fives, who smirked back at you. The crowd was getting excited as you moved your hips rather proactively, your confidence rising after seeing Fives’s responses to your words.

“He’s a one stop shop with a real big (ugh)/He’s a sweet-talkin’, sugar-coated candyman.” The crowd wolf-whistled at those words, but your focus was on Fives. You can see him biting his bottom lip, eyes heatedly watching you now.

When the song finished, the band continued onto your final piece. You had perfectly planned this night. Your choice of songs were different than the ones from previous performances. This was your love letter to Fives. You love him, and it appears that he feels the same way. You don’t know when will be the next time that the two of you will see each other. You would have loved to tell him your feelings differently, but like how you said before, singing is what you know best.

“Ain’t no other man can stand up next to you/Ain’t no other man on the planet does what you do/You’re the kinda guy a girl finds in a blue moon/You got soul, you got class, you got style with your bad ass/Ain’t no other man, it’s true/Ain’t no other man but you!”

Your performance ended with a loud round of applause. You were softly panting, sweat trickling down your neck, eyes watching Fives. He was clapping the hardest, using two fingers to whistle. A bright smile came to your face, thanking everyone before retreating to the back of the stage.

“What are you waiting for?!” Jesse shouted, a smirk on his face before lightly shoving Fives. “Go after her!” Echo encouraged, followed by a thumbs up from Hardcase and a nod from Kix.

Without wasting another second, Fives rush past his brothers, being careful not to bump into anyone as the next singer came to the stage. It didn’t take him long to reach the side of the stage, but two non-clone guards stopped him. “Sorry, sir, but no one is allowed back here.”

“It’s okay! He’s a friend,” you quickly intervene. The guards relaxed, allowing you to approach the ARC trooper. All that confidence from being on stage was dripping away. Now, your heart was racing, and your cheeks felt like they were on fire. Fives smirked as your cheeks darken in color, your blush reaching down your neck to the tips of your ears.

“Don’t tell me you’re embarrassed now, cyar’ika.” Fives chuckled as he took his hand in his.

You laughed nervously, letting Fives pull you away from the group of singers and towards a more secluded area of the hangar. “M-maybe a little,” you admitted before rounding a corner. Both of you were now hiding the two of you behind a starfighter, Fives gently pressing you against a stack of heavy crates. A hand laid on your hip while the other laid on the containers, trapping you in place. “I told you never sang in front of a large crowd.”

“Could have fooled me,” he responded as his hand on the crates moved to cup the side of your face. You slowly relaxed under his touch before gently leaning into his palm, looking up at him with hooded eyes.

“I meant every word, Fives.” You said in a hushed tone, your cheeks still flushed. You raised your hands up, before wrapping your arms around his neck, gently pulling him down to you, until the tip of your noses brushed. “I love you.”

“Say it again,” Fives moaned, his arms wrapping around your waist, pulling you flushed against his armor.

“I love you, Fives.”

What little space was between you two was gone, as Fives leaned forward, capturing your lips. It wasn’t a light kiss nor a deep one, but still full of passion. It was something that the two of you wanted. A moan escaped you as Fives pressed his tongue into your mouth, your hands moved to cup his cheeks, his hand cradling the back of your neck. “Ner cyar'ika laar senaar,” he purred against your lips after parting to breathe, before pecking your lips a couple of times. Hearing speak in Mando’a caused you to shiver in excitement, which he felt against his hands.

“You liked that?” He growled before nipping your neck, causing you to gasp. “There’s more where that came from.” You then felt his hips press and grind against yours, releasing another moan from you.

“There a few more singers left. Plenty of time for it,” you smirked before taking his hand. “And I know the perfect place where you can show me everything.” You both raced back to the ship that you arrived in. You both definitely had enough time, returning back to the hangar but the way you were walking, it was obvious what had occurred.

You didn’t care how the boys teased you, or how the other singers looked shock, or flustered. You are in complete bliss, having Fives at your side and holding his hand for the rest of the evening.

---------

A/N: Thanks again for reading! I have another fan fic in mind, but I should really focus on my finals first!

Ner cyar'ika laar senaar = My darling song bird

#fives x reader #arc trooper fives #clone trooper fives #trooper fives #501st fives #501st legion #clone trooper x reader #trooper fives x reader #clone trooper fives x reader #arc trooper fives x reader #fives x you #arc trooper x you #clone trooper x you #star wars x reader #star wars x you #fan fiction #fan fic #star wars fanfic #star wars fanfiction

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the-only-ace · 3 years

Note

can you please write something about taem's enlistment? honestly feel awful i feel like he's lowkey sad about it i just wanna give baby cheese a hug :(

haiii i love this request since it is really well... timely (?). i have been planning to finish this request before taemin's enlistment but yeah, here we are... things been busy. so i hope this one is not that late and may this be some sort of comfort for everyone as we wait for our baby cheese's return.

serve well and always take care, taem! we will be just here and wait for your return with bright smiles on our faces.

taemin scenario: looking forward

pairing: taemin x reader

word count: 2.7k

summary: it is taemin's last few hours before his military enlistment and reader tries their best to ease his worries. both are making sure that they have spent the remaining time together to the fullest.

warning: semi-nudity, implied sexual activity (no smut thought)

send in your requests here!

your eyelids slowly fluttered open and soft rays of sunlight greeted your still adjusting eyes. you attempted to rub the sleepiness away from your eyes before slowly sitting up. your raised both of your arms above your head and stretched with a small grunt. the sheets fell down and exposed your naked torso to the cool breeze from the air conditioner. you looked at your side and smiled gently. you rested your cheek on your bended knee and gazed at the sleeping figure beside you.

taemin was sleeping soundly on his chest and the blanket was comfortably wrapped around his hips while his broad bare shoulders were displayed to you. his head was tilted to the side, facing your direction. his eyes were closed with a hint of dark circles visible underneath them--a sign of his hard work within the last few months. his lips were slightly parted and you can hear his soft breaths. his hair that used to be unruly as they got ruffled by the pillows was now cut short. you can't help but reach out and touch them with your cold fingers.

there he was, the love of your life. it may sound cheesy and a bit cliche but it was true. he was your first boyfriend and you were more than pleased that you're still together given how young you both were when you met years ago. you went through a lot of ups and downs like every other relationship out there. it was also challenging at first especially with the nature of his work since he can not fully dedicate his time to you. you eventually got over it mainly because you knew how important and passionate he was with his career. every after his performances, you can see his eyes lit up and his lips stretched into a big bright smile. it was then you knew you have to support this man. you have to be his rock when things got shaky and unstable.

you two actually hit a big milestone in your relationship quite recently. you were living with him for more than a year already and both of you were still amazed how no media outlet has sniffed it out yet. also considering the number of times taemin recorded a live video around the apartment, you're just thankful there were still no accidental reveals.

your train of thought was cut short when taemin suddenly stirred on his position. "sorry, did i wake you?" you asked softly as you retracted your hand away from his hair.

he shook his head before dragging himself towards you. his arms found their way around your waist and his head rested contently on your lap. you smiled at his behavior and then proceeded to stroke his hair again. both of you stayed like that for a bit and soaked into each other's presence while waiting for the drowsiness to pass.

"is it weird?" his muffled voice broke the silence after a few minutes.

"what is?" you inquired back.

"my hair." he rolled to his back and looked up at you.

"it's... new." of course it was, just a few days ago you were happily playing with his hair and extensions. he always allowed you put it up into a bun whenever he came back home. now, you can barely grip them with your fingers. "it's not weird, just new. it actually made you look younger in my opinion." you reassured him with a small giggle.

he frowned and groaned, clearly displeased on your response. he thought you were just lying to make him feel better. he won't believe you anyway even you deny it so you decided to ignore his sulking. you then began drawing lazy shapes across his skin while he started to hum one of his songs. your fingers eventually linger around his tattoos and you can't help but admire them.

"should i get one?" you muttered more to yourself actually but taemin heard it very distinctly. it made him shot up from the bed and beamed at you widely.

"you should!" he exclaimed excitedly. '"i mean if you really want to. we can even go to my artist and get one together."

"okay, calm down, mister." you chuckled since was almost bouncing with enthusiasm. "where should i place it though?"

"well... it would look nice here." he reached out and touch your rib area. his eyes soon landed on the red mark beside his index finger and a playful smirk slowly made its way to his lips. "or here..." he continued and moved his pointer on your collar bone, on another one of his marks. "here would be good too..." he went on and on while pointing out all of his work while his grin grew bigger and naughtier.

"stop..." you rolled your eyes and push his hand away. "i know what you're doing. someone went overboard last night." you can't help but narrow your eyes at him. it would be a pain to hide later when you go to work.

"i'm sorry, i just thought they would be a great parting gift." he shrugged before leaning closer. "so did you like it?" he raised his eyebrows suggestively.

"eh... it's alright, i guess." you teased with a joking scowl.

"well, that can be fixed easily." he tackled and pinned you down in the bed, making you let out a high-pitch scream. he wasted no time on littering quick kisses all over your neck. you writhed under him as you attempted to escape him since you were feeling ticklish from his soft lips.

a blaring alarm noise interrupted your noises and movements. taemin pushed himself up and looked at the clock on your bedside table. he took a deep heavy sigh before dismissing the alarm. you immediately felt the change in his mood as he got up from the bed.

"i'll go brew us some coffee," he announced and got out of the bedroom.

it was now your turn to sigh. you already tried your best to ease his worries yesterday but just like you have predicted he was still troubled. you can't blame him though, after doing only one thing ever since he was only 12 years old, you get why he was anxious about this upcoming change. not to mention that he will be going through this alone in a way. his other members enlisted at the same time so the thought of someone experiencing the same helped them get through it much easier.

you got up and walked towards the chair near the bed and snatched taemin's shirt that was carelessly hanging from its backrest. you pulled it down your head and you can't help but smell his scent; it was his favorite shirt after all. god, you were going to miss him so bad.

you followed taemin towards the kitchen and the aroma of the coffee greeted you. he looked at you from head to toe and it made him smirk. he knew how much you love stealing his shirts. it was quite comforting to know that at least his clothes will be used even though he was away.

preparing breakfast was peaceful and intimate. taemin was hugging you from behind while you cook your meal; outrightly ignoring your protests since it was not really easy to move around with him clinging to you. in a few minutes, both of you are sitting down at the dining table and quietly enjoying the hot food in front of you.

it felt like a normal lazy morning. days like these were common after his promotions. it was when he has some time to rest and replenish his energy. those were the days you always anticipate since you were able to see him more often and spend more quality time together. if he didn't have a buzz cut, it was easy to fool yourself that this day was one of those.

"do you think, i'll do well?" he suddenly asked when he placed his chopsticks down.

"of course," you quickly replied without missing a beat. no matter how many times you convinced him already, you will never get tired of doing it if that will give him peace of mind.

"what makes you say so?" he looked up and met your unwavering eyes. "what if i'm not fit for it?"

"and what if you are?" you challenged. "look, we'll never know something unless we try it but trust me, knowing you, you'll do just fine. they used to criticize your singing career back then and look where you are now. you don't let external factors affect you and you always work hard to achieve your goals. so what makes this different? i know once you set your heart to something, you'll be able to do it. you just have to trust yourself as well."

"always saying the right words," he sighed and rested his head on his hand. "what will i be without you?"

"still probably as great as you are now." you knew that taemin achieved his success on his own. all those late-night practices and sacrificing a normal life as a teen, it was all him. you were only his supporter who hopefully made the process a bit easier. "besides, you crushed the obstacle course in dream team last time so i believe the drills will be manageable for you." you cheekily added.

"wow, you still remember that? i'm no minho though." he shook his head while chuckling.

"no one's like that competitive monster." you scoffed.

"yeah..." he trailed off, obviously being concern about another matter again. "i hope our fans won't forget me."

"don't be stupid." you frowned and kicked him lightly under the table. "of course they would wait for you especially after being their comfort when the other members were serving their time. i'm sure that they would be counting the days for your return and they would be delighted to see you again. although, no one would be more thrilled than me so... don't forget me as well."

"how can i forget you if i will be thinking of you every single day?" he stood up and gave you a kiss on the forehead. "thank you."

"for what?" you inquired.

"for always being there especially when i need it the most." his tone was warm and heartfelt. "i should probably take a shower now."

you nodded and listened to his footsteps disappear into the bathroom. as soon as you heard the water running, you stood up as well and placed the plates on the sink. you then went back to your shared bedroom and doubled check the contents of his black backpack, making sure that he did not forget anything important. knowing him, there was a huge chance that he does. you also added a few extra clothes and toiletries just in case he did something stupid and end up breaking or losing some of his stuff.

it felt wholesome to pack his things for him. as if you were his wife helping him prepare for his upcoming trip. if only the trip wasn't going to be 18 months long.

the time flew by quickly after taemin's shower and suddenly you were by the doorway, watching him wear the straps of his backpack. you handed him his black baseball cap before fixing the strings of his black hoodie.

"you all set?" you asked trying hard not to make your voice crack. it was finally sinking in for you and you didn't want him to know that.

"yeah," he nodded as he fixed his cap.

both of you stood there, not really knowing what to do or say next. you should probably wish him luck and send him off but you don't want to. not yet, you keep on repeating to yourself. sensing your dejection, taemin suddenly grabbed your wrist and pulled you into one of the tightest hugs he has ever given. your hands quickly wrapped around him and you buried your face on his chest, inhaling his scent and trying to memorize it--even though you already do.

"i'm going to miss you," he whispered tenderly. "so much."

"i will miss you too." you finally let out the sob you were holding back. thinking that it was impossible, his embrace tightened even more around your shaking frame.

he kissed the top of your head and murmured how much he loves you again and again. right then and there, you wanted to be selfish and don't let him go, and as if on cue his phone started to ring. he answered it and their conversation was less than a minute but you know exactly what it was about.

"they're downstairs already," he stated as he let go of you.

"you should not keep them waiting then." you clumsily wipe away the tears in your eyes.

you both bid your goodbyes before sharing one last kiss. he then got out of the apartment and closed the door behind him.

and just like that, you were left there in complete silence. you blankly stare at the closed door and you never felt more alone in your life.

you were about to turn around when the door burst open without warning. standing there was taemin who unmistakably ran back considering his heavy pants.

"taemin?!" you exclaimed from the shock. "what, did you forget something?"

"yes, i forgot to ask you something." he exhaled. "i forgot to ask you to marry me," he said in full seriousness while staring straight into your eyes.

"y-you... what? huh?" you fumbled with your words as your brain tried to process whatever he just said. "w-what did you say? i don't--" you attempted to ask again.

"when i get discharged, will you marry me?" he repeated as he moved closer towards you. you just gaped at him without saying a word and that made the nervousness slowly crept into him. "sorry, i was not able to get a ring since this was... well, spontaneous. but um... here, will this do?" you watched him remove the ring he was always wearing on his right hand. he unceremoniously raised it in front of you and waited for your reply.

you were beyond stunned. sure, you both talked about getting married someday but you didn't think he would propose today. you always knew that when he planned for the special day, you will easily catch on. he was not really the best planner and secret keeper after all. nothing has prepared you for this moment.

"y/n?" he cautiously called out, getting a little concern from your lack of response.

you looked away from the ring and moved your eyes to meet his uneasy ones. he was undoubtedly waiting for your answer.

"yes," you barely managed to blurt out. "yes, of course, i do!" you repeated, this time firmer.

you have practically seen the weight off his back after hearing your response. he broke into a tiny celebration dance before composing himself again and sliding the ring into your finger.

"okay... i didn't think about that part." the ring was big for you which was not surprising. "sorry, i'll just get you a new one soon." he embarrassingly rubbed the back of his neck.

"it's alright, it's perfect." you can now feel another urge to cry but this time it is out of happiness.

"i love you," his expression soften and one eyebrow raised up, a habit of his whenever he says something genuine. he titled your chin up and captured your lips for a passionate kiss. you stand on your tiptoes in your attempt to deepen the kiss which made him smile. his other hand moved to your lower back and pulled you closer to him while you ran your fingers through his hair. it felt right, both of you know exactly that this is where you two belong--with each other.

however, your little heaven was interrupted once again by the ringing of his phone.

"okay, you should definitely go now." you ultimately let go of your hold around him.

he nodded. he knew he cannot delay his departure any longer. "goodbye."

"goodbye," you echoed. "just for now."

he waved his hand before going out and shutting the door. this time though, he did not come back running. you knew he was on his way to his enlistment and you would be alone in the apartment for months but right now, you did not feel that lonely anymore.

you looked down and adored the ring around your finger. 18 months would indeed move slowly but it will be bearable because this time, both of you have something to look forward to.

#shinee #taemin #lee taemin #taemin x reader #shinee requests #shinee scenarios #shinee request #shinee scenario #taemin enlistment #taemin proposal #taemin tattoo #shinee world #shinee x reader #shinee x you #taemin x you

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princessofprocrastination · 3 years

Text

I Messed Up Didn’t I? (Dream)

MASTERLIST

pairing : dreamwastaken x singer!reader (angst)

summary : after the breakup, he sees that you’re growing as a singer, while he’s suffering alone, but you don’t think that about him, seeing he’s growing on youtube.

a/n : you’re replacing gwen in the voice!

hey! this isn’t going to be the only part! stay tuned for more!

it ended after an argument. he was constantly on his computer, and would forget every important day. from your birthday, to your anniversaries, he forgot them all.

he even would disregard it, saying it wasn’t important anyway, that everyday could be a special day. that hurt you a lot. you two have been together for a long time and you didn’t want to lose it. you couldn’t afford to lose him, not like this.

sometimes it felt like he didn’t love you anymore, that he didn’t feel the same anymore. it hurt to see him on his phone, or on discord call with his friends.

you thought his friends were amazing and supportive, but his friends took away your limited time together, and hurt like a bitch.

at first, you were okay with his constant video games, knowing that’s his job now, and that he’s been supportive of you, and you should be supportive of him too.

at first, it had been tough, you brought in the money, paid for the bills, bought groceries since you were making money through music. you weren’t stingy, you are totally fine with spending money for him, but it felt wrong at the same time.

your mum always told you never settle for a guy, that he would do things for you if he wanted to. and that stuck to you, but you love dream, with everything in you. you couldn’t afford to leave him, to break this long time relationship.

you two had been there for each other since the roots. and to see it crumble like this hurt a lot.

he didn’t notice. he didn’t care enough to ask you how your day went anymore. he was too busy on his computer.

you made the effort. you asked him the usual questions, to which he’s reply with a ‘’m fine’ or simply not answer. you brought him food whenever you notice he’s been skipping meals to sit on his desk.

you got him a new monitor, gaming chair, a new desk. everything he could’ve ever wanted. if it made him happy, you’d buy it, even if it took time away from you together.

he didn’t notice how you’re slipping away, barely talking to him, barely even sleeping on the same bed anymore. he didn’t notice the constant emails on your phone. or maybe he did, and he didn’t care.

he didn’t notice that you two were basically living separate lives in the same house. he didn’t notice that you were thinking about leaving.

it never occurred to dream that you’d snap one day, that you’d leave him. it never occurred to him that you’d buy your own house one day and leave him, alone in his house.

it started small, you invited him to go to a dinner you had with your producers. he said he would left out, so you let him be, understanding it completely.

then you’d ask multiple times for him to just get out of that chair and eat dinner with you, even if it’s just once. you told him you missed him, yet he still pushed you away.

you didn’t understand where the relationship went wrong. you tried your best to work it out, talk it through, but it seemed like he didn’t even want it anymore, judging by the way he’s acting.

he says it’s just a part of the relationship, getting comfortable. but you didn’t think getting comfortable meant that you both didn’t talk to each other all day. you didn’t want this type of comfortable.

“just this once, let’s go get dinner. we can go eat at your favourite place.” you begged him.

“no, i want to finish editing, can’t you go yourself, maybe bring me takeout?” he replies to you.

“i could but i just want to spend time with you.” you begged again, almost whining.

“just go, we spend so much time together anyway.” dream tells you, almost out of anger.

“we haven-” you tried to say before getting cut off.

“OMG JUST LEAVE, I’M STRESSED OUT RIGHT NOW, LEAVE” he screams at you.

“i just-” you tried again, almost crying at that point.

“LEAVE.” he scolded again.

you left the room quietly, not wanting a screaming fest to start again.

you sat on your shared bed. thinking about what went wrong. how did your relationship become this bad.

you packed a bag. you didn’t care about your clothes, you could always buy new ones. you didn’t bother packing much, just the necessities.

you walked out the door, grabbing your car keys on your way out.

as you started you car, you sat there for a while. this was it huh?

you told yourself that you made the right decision getting a house before this argument came.

you didn’t mean to hide it away from him, in fact, you wanted to bring it up during dinner, but since the dinner invitation didn’t work, you didn’t bother.

the longer you drove, the more sad you became. tears trickled down your cheeks as you drove silently to a hotel before needing to sit a long drive from florida to california.

you sat on the hotel bed, thinking about dream. you hated ending it this way. you didn’t even think this would end. you were planning to get married, for god’s sake.

you cried even more thinking about it.

you felt alone. but you knew you still had friends who supported you. but it felt like there was a void left unfilled after you left that house.

maybe it’s for the best.

DREAM’S POV

i heard the door close. i heard it all. i heard her packing her stuff. but i don’t know why i didn’t stop her. i was too busy streaming.

it didn’t hit me until a couple days later. and when the days came, it was too late.

i knew i messed up.

when i told george and sapnap, they were furious. they said they warned me before. they asked why i’m not looking for her.

i told them it’s cause i knew you were no where near me.

i knew i messed up.

terribly.

YOUR POV

months went by so quick.

the hold in your chest unhealed. but you knew you needed to get over it.

you saw twitter, instagram, youtube. you saw that he had been blowing up.

over 13 million subscribers. you were impressed. you were immensely proud of him. you wish you were there to celebrate it with him. but you weren’t.

fortunately for you, months after you moved to california, you were offered to be a judge on the voice.

you didn’t waste a second telling your team to say yes. you grew up watching the voice. and plus, you got to meet the john legend, kelly clarkson and blake sheldon. who would miss that opportunity.

you spent a while trying to settle down in your new house. it was huge. huge for one person. but you needed it, the time alone.

you liked it peaceful and quiet, it helped you heal slowly. it helped you to move on.

you came out with a full album since then, which ended up being a hit. you were super grateful for the love you’ve been getting.

now, you sat in one of the judges chairs for blind auditions.

your hairstylist was making sure your hair was fully sprayed and looked good. you made small conversation with her, thanking her for making you look good for the camera.

there was a camera for each judge. you looked into the one right in front of you and said. “holy shit i can’t believe i’m here.”

john, who sat next to you laughed at your antics. you glanced at him and gave him a grin.

“we’re ready.” the producer said to the judges, signaling that they were starting.

audition after audition, you met amazing artists.

“you’re amazing and i used my block on john for you. if you didn’t know, he’s a little scary when he’s competitive. i would love for you to be on my team.” you said to an amazing singer you turned your chair for.

she sung an r&b song, to which got a four chair turn, but you were desperate. you needed her.

“um, oh my god, this is hard.” she said to us, before choosing her mentor.

kelly and blake chimed in, making her turn her head to look at them.

“no. please, don’t listen or look at them, just me.” you said to her, practically begging.

john laughed at this and said. “holy shit, you’re that desperate?”

“yes, john, i love her.” you laughed along with the other two judges.

“well-” the artist started. you crossed your fingers, hoping that she would pick you. you had a good chance as john was blocked. but kelly was good competition too, not counting out blake.

“i pick.” she paused.

“oh my god, spit it out already.” i screamed and laughed a little.

“i pick y/n” she announced.

“HOLY SHIT YES.” you stood from your chair and jumped a little, excited.

“you losers.” you told the other three judges.

“yeah, yeah, whatever,” kelly played along.

blind auditions went along really smoothly.

you’ve seen your face plastered all over the voice’s instagram and twitter. they even posted a clip of you being excited after getting picked as a mentor for the r&b artist.

you were having a blast. your family from back home would facetime you and congratulate you or laugh at the stupid things you did on tv.

what you didn’t know was that dream had seen them all. after all, he hadn’t paid attention to you before, why start now? your little jumps on your judge seat as you waited for the next audition. your little shouts to amazing singers auditioning.

he was proud, to say the least.

in this couple of months, he’d seen you grow into a young and successful woman. he was sad that he couldn’t be there to congratulate you through all your achievements.

but that’s what he gets for abandoning his one and only love.

at first, he didn’t even look into what you were doing. not until a few weeks after you left, george and sapnap had said something along the lines of your name and you being a judge on the voice.

them two had been purposely teasing him. they knew that he treated you like absolute shit before you left and they made it a thing to make sure clay knew that.

you weren’t in contact with dream for obvious reasons but you facetimed george and sapnap constantly, even before and after your shows.

they had been through it all with you. since you were only a couple years older than nick, you two clicked well together, always talking about tiktok trends and the new lingo. but you don’t count off george for being one of your bestfriends.

you actually had shown the camera once or twice when you facetimed george and sapnap. well, now the world knew that you three knew each other. they just didn’t know how you three met.

twitter blew up with lots of hashatgs about you three, talking about ‘when worlds’ collide’.

you thought that was funny. they even asked you to link up and be friends with dream, who you knew was dream, but you’ve always ignored those types of comments.

you saw the ship comments between you and george. you two would laugh it off and constantly say that you two are just friends. he’s your exes bestfriend, that would be awkward.

dream saw it all, the facetime calls are all over the internet. your supporters were shocked to see that you knew each other. they didn’t know that dream and you knew each other though.

he saw that you’ve been ignoring the comments to link up with him. his heart broke at that. but he deserved it. he ignored you for the longest time. now it’s your turn.

his heart broke at the shipping comments between you and george after knowing how often the facetime.

dream knew he deserved it. he deserved all the pain coming to him.

he felt grateful of his new, large following on the internet, but it felt like nothing compared to having you in his arms. why had he taken you for granted?

he was determined to see you again, to ask you to come back. he needed you.

PART TWO!

#dreamwastaken #dream x reader #dream imagines #dream imagine #dream fanfic #sapnap #georgenotfound

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fyeah-bangtan7 · 3 years

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j-hope: “I’m not the kind of person to settle for their life as it is”

j-hope himself hasn’t changed since the days before his debut. The way he treats others, the way he feels about BTS, his passion for dancing—they haven’t gone anywhere; only their breadth has changed, along with the breadth of his deeply-held beliefs, his will, and his dreams.

“Butter” has been a huge sensation in the United States. j-hope: I did work hard preparing for it, but whenever I try to embrace an unintended success, in my mind I’m always like … It’s like half happiness, half a feeling that makes me think seriously about what I accomplished. There’s a sense of responsibility that comes along with such an honorable achievement. ARMY’s done so much to keep us at number one, and I’m incredibly thankful for that. At the same time, I also realized that our names are becoming known to more people in the world of American pop music.

It seems like the bigger the success is, the more things you end up thinking about. j-hope: In the past I would just humbly accept it, and it was something I worked hard for so I was happy to accept it—and that was somewhat immature, I guess, but now it’s different. I’ve been working constantly for over eight years, and it hasn’t been easy to achieve so much in that time. So from now on I’m tacking a question mark onto how I should carry on and maintain things the way they are and what attitude and stance I should have right now. It’s homework I haven’t been able to figure out yet, basically.

What effect do such thoughts have on the way you express yourself as an artist? j-hope: I’m also a performer, and I don’t think I take any performance lightly. Ever since we did “Dynamite,” the number of times I go over my performances after they’re done has gone way up. I felt like I’m responsible for making the dances stand out, so I thought I have to try my very best for that aspect. You don’t want to underdeliver on a performance when that many people are sending out their love to you. Each and every one of the members thinks so, and I think we’ve created an atmosphere for our practices where we are able to see how important these things are. After all, even if we don’t show it to one another, we all know how important it is to practice our performances.

It seems like there must be an atmosphere of understanding in the practice studio. j-hope: We used to have to practice for a long time, again and again, to sync up with each other. We’d practice for around 10 hours, review our performances, take a break and then get right back into it, rest some more and do it again. That was then, but now, after all that experience, each member knows where they need to focus, so we coordinate our dispositions and make intense breakthroughs and do what we need to until it’s just right, and then we take a break we really take a break. Now we don’t even really have to think about it. So it’s like, All right, let’s do everything we have to do quickly so we can hurry up and get some rest. This part doesn’t seem right though? Let’s get through this quickly. That’s how we do it. We’re more efficient about work and practice now.

Did that have an effect on you individually as well? As you think more about your performances, the parts you concentrate on might change. j-hope: The dancing is important, but I think I came to realize just how important the visual aspect is. The reason I change my hairstyle or whatnot so often these days is because I want my appearance to blend naturally with the song. Since I’ve always been a dancer I just kept working hard at the things I could do best. But obviously it’s important not to go overboard with the visuals, so I kept an eye on it and adjusted it for each performance. That’s the most important part.

Your dancing in “Butter” is one thing, but it’s also a performance where you need to demonstrate your character. What were you hoping to show off? j-hope: I wanted to show how much I’ve grown in “Butter.” The style is bold and revolved around well-tailored suits and the whole thing felt sexy. I tried to get that across as much as I could. And I learned a lot from watching the members who are good at expressing that. I took all the different ways I thought of that I could try out and melted them all down together, smooth like butter. (laughs)

What’s going through your mind when you’re performing, especially when the spotlight’s on you? Like when you do that attention-grabbing dance break full of slow movements in “Butter,” or the solo disco dancing you did for the “Dynamite” dance break at MMA 2020. j-hope: My mindset doesn’t change. When the spotlight’s on me, that’s an opportunity for me, in a way. It’s a chance for me to shine among our team and its seven amazing members, so I’m always on the lookout to make good use of such opportunities by doing my best. I shouldn’t turn down what I’ve got coming to me, and show off everything I’ve got to show. ARMY and the general public will be the judges, and if they have something to say about it, I have to accept and correct it, I think. I want to say that I developed my own type of growth for myself by repeatedly correcting and practicing and correcting and practicing. I’ve been dancing a long time, but I always feel like I could be doing more, so I put in the effort and I take pleasure in when I make something that turns out really well.

But, if you look at your “Butter” fancam, you continuously react along with the other members dancing even when you’re not the focus of the main camera. j-hope: I’m not consciously doing it. But these days when I watch overseas awards ceremonies or pop artists’ performances that they’ve shot on video, I feel like they don’t really have any heavily edited parts or quick cuts. They capture the artists’ energy while showing the whole scene, so I’m always thinking about how I never know where or how I’m going to be captured on film. So even when the camera is mainly focusing on Jin, in some cases you can still see me in the back, and so I think setting the mood in the background in order not to interfere with his part is an extremely important part of a good performance.

I thought you were very consistent. When SUGA comes forward to rap toward the end of the song, you keep tossing out little shouts to boost up the mood. j-hope: It’s fun, you know? Doing that. (laughs)

That sounds like a good balance insofar as you can continue to express yourself individually while staying devoted to the group. j-hope: I agree. I think that’s something I always had in the back of my head. But as I’m performing within this big group structure, making sure not to interfere with that comes before anything else.

The “Permission to Dance” performance has a different flavor than “Butter” in that sense. While “Butter” gives each member their moment to shine, “Permission to Dance” seems to place importance on the overall mood of the entire group. I feel like it brings out your personal trait of being bright and hopeful. j-hope: When we got the song, it occurred to me that I could just be myself in this one. There’s no need to act; I can just use the real feeling I get when I’m on stage. That’s also the message the song is aiming for, so I think it came across naturally. Like I’m happy, but also on the verge of tears?

Your dance makes use of sign language. Although it is a dance, it also conveys language, so I imagine there were a lot of things to consider. j-hope: Yes, there were. We’re conveying language even though we don’t use a lot of sign language in our dance moves. So although the song is nice and light overall, even when we were practicing we were saying how we have to make sure the moves are perfectly accurate. We thought we should understand the importance behind sign language to properly convey its significance. So we thought we should do our best to do the moves correctly while at the same time trying to fill the song with enjoyment and positive emotions. We spent quite a lot of time integrating the moves into the dance routine, and so I think we were able to show off our attitude about the performance pretty naturally.

I think your vocals and facial expressions at the start of the second verse of “Permission to Dance” help people intuitively grasp what kind of song it is. It makes me think of what you said in the “ARMY Corner Store” video uploaded to YouTube for your 2021 FESTA celebration of the group’s eighth anniversary—that you’re the “vitamins” for the group. j-hope: And I am. I used that expression because I feel like I consistently, and unchangingly (laughs) give the team good energy. I don’t know if I’m actually the vitamins or not. Looking back, I’ve always tried to give them good energy and keep them in a good mood, and I think it’s safe to say now that I’m one of those people who try hard to keep their group’s energy up. I still get a little embarrassed, though. (laughs) I wouldn’t say that I don’t feel any pressure at all about the label. All seven of us have to act as one for BTS to work, and that’s always on my mind, so it forces me to be careful that I’m not standing out from the rest of them. Because the team functions well when everyone has their own role. And because I always keep that in mind whenever I think, I should do whatever I can do, I’m able to contribute to the team and I think I ended up feeling a little more confident about the things that I found difficult to express in the past.

Was there a push behind that change? j-hope: I felt, and realized, exactly what I needed to do with my own personal identity and energy right after I released my first mixtape. From that point on, I thought that I should express my musical views and things like my energy regularly, but not in any intense way. Before, as time went by and the group really blew up, I think I had let go of a lot of the pressure to express myself. Then I started to feel like I wanted to try expressing myself in my own way, even as the team did well.

When you revealed your depressive side directly in the time from when you put out “Dis-ease” during the pandemic period to “Blue Side” from your mixtape, was that a reflection of that influence as well? j-hope: People’s emotions change every day and so do their feelings and the things they can accept throughout their lives, right? So I think the changing emotions I felt and came to accept as the group grew in popularity is also expressed by the way my songs changed. It’s also something I always spend time thinking about, but I’m just another young person living his life on this planet. I’m not really different from anybody else, which means I can’t always be as bright as I was on Hope World. So that’s why I tried a different approach to the things I could express.

What did you find out after trying that? j-hope: I ended up thinking about the shadows inside me. I didn’t realize it when we were promoting, but with the whole world suddenly at a standstill, we have all this time where we can’t do anything and I can see all the shadows underneath—sitting spaced out in the studio, thinking about what kind of life I’ve lived, seeing BTS’s performances on TV, I think, That’s who I was. The amount of willpower I found during this time has been tremendous. I figured I’d better use all those feelings entirely and all at once, that those are emotions and songs that could probably only ever be written at this time anyway, so I put all those emotions down like a diary, and “Dis-ease” was born. With “Dis-ease” as a starting point, I thought I could include stuff like my inner darkness, and that’s why I was able to release “Blue Side.

”What did you see when you looked inward? j-hope: I ended up seeing a side to the real Jeong Hoseok’s life that I couldn’t perceive before. I kept thinking about what life would be best for j-hope while we were working, so I wondered what Jeong Hoseok’s life would look like as a whole. While that was happening I realized I’m not just some always-cheery person—I experience hardship, too. So I thought I could grow closer with listeners by sharing little parts of me that I had been hiding away, and that it would be interesting to show people a side of me that’s different from their idea of who j-hope is. Most importantly, I don’t feel any resistance about who I am right now. As a person who makes music and releases songs about his personal life, I think this is all part of the process.

There’s a line in “Blue Side” where you sing, “Now I just want to burn blue to death.” It seems here, too, something of your shadow was revealed. j-hope: If you’re burning to death, it’d be very hot. But the parts I called blue are a place I consciously escape to to avoid things. It’s a place I escape to that I could safely live in and be swallowed up by, but I don’t want to do that. So I think I tried to show that I want to stir up my passion for the things I wanted to do even if I’m burning blue to death. To be honest with you, I don’t know how I came up with those lyrics exactly. I wrote that part a really long time ago when we were on tour overseas. I’m not a big drinker, but those were the first lyrics I ever released that I wrote while drinking. (laughs) When I write lyrics when I’m drinking I often regret them when I see them in the morning, but when I take a look at them again after some time, I can tell they’re lyrics that I could only ever write with the feelings I get at that time. When I release that kind of song, I get some kind of feeling. And when I give myself feedback about my own music, a version of myself who’s different from the way I was before I made the music emerges.

Is there anything else you’ve learned about yourself lately? j-hope: Um … I’m—what should I say—not the kind of person to settle for their life as it is. I could just keep living like I am and do whatever I want with my life, but I don’t know, honestly. I’ve already had so many amazing things happen but I want to take things one step further, as an individual and as a member of BTS. A thought came to me one day: Have I been challenging myself at all lately? Outside of making songs or dancing? But the answer was no. So I decided I would challenge myself and give some things a try, one of which was studying English. It’s still hard and I have a long way to go, but I’m trying my best given our current schedule.

What are you getting out of studying English, do you think? j-hope: If I can speak in English then I can give and take directions with English-speaking artists myself when I’m working on music. My thinking is that this is one channel of communication I can open that will open up more possibilities in my life. But it could end up being hard to keep studying with our current schedule (laughs) so even though I say I’ll do it, I might not be able to. Your mind could change at any minute and you could come to different decisions any time, depending on how you want to live your life. Right now I’m trying to do music for music’s sake, challenge myself with performances for performance’s sake, and try hard personally for BTS. And I’m working hard to figure out what I need to do for my next steps.

What do you imagine your next step will be? j-hope: I think my next step personally is to grow our music globally. I’ve been doing some self-reflection lately and there’s plenty that I want to do. I have a lot of dreams, too. Making it this far with the group, seeing the other pop artists we’ve been vying with on the Billboard chart, really left an impression on me, and now I’m more serious about wanting to express something. So for example, I’m dreaming of growing our music globally since the environment to have good synergy with foreign artists has already been built.

You, and BTS too, have worked your way up step by step and now you’re able to dream up new steps. In the 2021 FESTA “ARMY Corner Store” video, you said the present is possible only because BTS followed the path that it did since its debut song, so you didn’t want to alter any of your past. (laughs) Still, is there anything you’d want to say to your past self if you could say just one thing? j-hope: As a joke, I’d say, Hey, listen to this melody: “smooth like butter”—write that. If you do that, you’ll be number one on Billboard. I could do it that way, right? (laughs) But for me, even the parts of my life that weren’t good became opportunities for growth. So rather than telling my past self to fix something, I’d just tell him to believe in himself and move on with his life however he feels like, and keep working hard, keeping things the way they are. Other than that, I’d have nothing to say to him.

So how do you feel about ARMY now that they’ve climbed all those steps with BTS? j-hope: ARMY is absolutely … I feel like they’ve become an icon themselves. I’m so proud of them. They’re amazing. ARMY is like an artist in itself now, too. Sort of like they’re one big symbol of the era? ARMY is as famous as BTS now. I think we give each other good energy, and helped each other to make something good. It might sound obvious coming from a member of BTS, but if I were ARMY, I’d never be ashamed to call myself a fan of BTS. Anyway, I’m seriously … I want them to always know I’m really, really grateful for them.

#bangtan #jhope #m:weverse magazine #210727

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ikleesfiction · 3 years

Text

I'm a fucking alcoholic (with a sweet tooth)

Fandom : Chicago PD TV Word count : 1,623 words Pairing : Jay Halstead x reader Author's note : This is the third one shot of "Will you follow through if I fall for you" fic continuation. It would be better if you read it first. But if you don't, here's the quick summary. Warning : It's fluff. I hope it doesn't end up too cringy?

Disclaimer

◢◤

It is a cold Friday in Chicago. You would say it is super cold since you worked in the warm weather of Los Angeles last week. Jay is coming over to your place after work. Now both of you are snuggling on the couch, watching movies on TV.

"I cannot watch this part," You hide your face in Jay's chest, preparing for the frightening scene. The darkness in the room increases the tension.

"What are you talking about? This is not even a horror movie," Jay looks down at you, bemused.

"Say you! Watching Tom Cruise blowing up a Gallardo distressed me. My soul is crying. It is a nightmare!"

You move out from Jay's embrace to point out the screen where Maggie Q said it is such a nice car. "Yes, it is! Don't do it, Zhen," yell you at the TV.

However, The Lamborghini on screen still went kaboom and was engulfed in fire. "Oh, no!" You put your hand on your heart, feeling devastated.

Jay grins at your silliness, "I'm sorry for your loss," He rubs your back, offering his condolences. However, his smile turns flirty. "If there's anything I can do to ease your pain..."

You play along with his idea. "Hmm, is that so?" Your hands wrap around Jay, pulling him closer. Your nose is tracing his neck, up to his jaw, his cheek. Your lips softly grace his skin, make their way closer to his. Jay wasted no time to kiss you and keep kissing you.

You don't know how long it goes, and you don't care to know. Until Jay moves back abruptly, tilting his head away from you, "Your pho..."

Your lips cut his words as you get on his lap. Jay puts his hands on your waist to stop you, halfheartedly, "Babe, your phone is ringing,"

Your hands curl behind his neck. "Let it ring." You whisper to his ear. Jay shudders when he feels your breath on his neck. Your mouth soon follows to make a mark on the same point. Jay tries to hold himself back from reciprocating the gesture.

Unlike Jay and his work, you got no obligation to pick up your phone. No life or death depends on you tonight. But the phone keeps shrieking. It started to annoy you because Jay stops participating in this make-out session.

"Might be important," This is one of the rare times you want to curse Jay's occupation.

"I assure you it won't be," You try to get Jay back in the game.

"Well, at least you can tell them to call you back later," Jay lands a soft kiss on your forehead. With a loud sigh, you move away from Jay's lap to pick up your phone.

Seeing the caller ID frustrates you even further. "You are interrupting our date night," is the first thing you say to your best friend, Alex, when you receive the call and put it on speaker.

"Hi, Jay!" Alex chirps his greeting, ignoring your complaint.

Jay greets back with a chuckle, "Hey, man. Nice to hear from you," He takes the remote to pause the movie, where Tom Cruise is gunning a Mercedes CLK down the road.

"No, it's not." You grumble under your breath. "What's up? Did you just come up with a song idea that would make Bruno Mars wished he wrote it?"

As a fellow songwriter/producer, you understand that song inspiration could come anytime. But it would still piss you off if Alex insists on working for it tonight.

"Not yet. But we do have a potential project for you,"

"Couldn't it wait until next week?" You moan your refusal. "Jay and I got plans for the weekend,"

"Of course. As long as you promise to pick up your phone when Angelique calls. I know you have been dodging her." Alex chides you.

Huffing your aversion, you lay your head on Jay's lap. In reflex, he plays with your hair. "Who's Angelique? A new talent?" Jay never heard that name before. He is pretty sure that he knows everybody at Pyramid, Alex's record label in Amsterdam where you work for.

Alex starts to explain, "She is a singer. Been around for a while,"

"Country singer, turned bubblegum pop singer, and now I guess she wants to try dance music as well?" You elaborate to Jay and asking Alex at the same time. You have written and produced songs from various genres, but your notable works so far are mostly EDM.

"Maybe," Alex answers casually.

"Angelique..." Jay ponders for a moment before lighting up, "Oh! Is she the one whose songs you keep skipping whenever they pop up, babe?"

Your best friend lets out a big laugh from the other side of the phone. "Angelique wants Y/N to produce her next album, but all of a sudden Y/N here cannot find the receive button on her phone," Alex emphasizes his sarcasm.

"I took yours, didn't I?"

However, Alex begins his interrogation. "Why are you avoiding her calls anyway?"

"I don't wanna work with her," You know you sound petulant.

"Come on, Y/N, it would be great! Angelique's third album sold triple more than her second. Her last single went neck to neck with Taylor Swift's song. Now, she is gonna let you work on her fourth album! Other producers would kill for this opportunity," Alex tries to reason.

Jay whistles, being impressed by the story.

"Well, my boyfriend here is a cop. I don't wanna get involved in any criminal activity," You are intentionally being obtuse. "If it were so great, why don't you do it? You're the one who still works on stage."

"You know people talked about how you could be the next Max Martin, right? Made sense that she asked for you," Alex states. "Angelique doesn't need another artist to perform with her. She needs someone who writes and produces good stuff."

"Every producer could be the next Max Martin if they work hard," You shrug the notion.

Jay looks confused with all these new names. "And Max Martin is...?"

"We are never ever ever getting back together?" Alex starts singing a couple bars to show Jay some examples of Max Martin's works.

"Uh..." Jay doesn't show any recognition.

"ou make me feel like I'm living a teenage dream?" Alex sings another song. Your best friend is nothing but persistent.

"Uhm.." And yet, Jay is still clueless.

"Jay is not keeping up with pop music for the last decade, Lex," You joke to your best friend. "Try some songs from the Backstreet Boys,"

"Hey!" Jay protests. "I know your songs," He smirks at you in full smug. "Especially the ones that were written about me."

You laugh at his adorable and sexy smirk. Sitting up from Jay's lap, you kiss the smug out of him.

"Guys, I'm still here." The flat tone of Alex on the phone stops Jay from taking the kiss further.

You peck a corner of Jay's lips one more time. "Your own fault. Who told you to call during our date night anyway?"

"Since I'm not there to poke and pinch you, I hope Jay could help me convince you to take this project." Your best friend is shameless.

"Is Angelique not a good person or something?" Jay tries to understand the situation. He knows you are a hard worker. It is rare for you to run off from a big project like this. "She ought to be a good singer, right? With all of that achievements,"

You cross your arms and glare at your boyfriend, "It is a prerogative to hate your best friend's exes, no?"

Jay frowns, "Wait, Angelique is Alex's ex?"

"Oh, come on!" groans Alex. "It was years ago!"

"You know how the saying goes. Quote-unquote, "You are my friend. She is your ex. You get to forgive and move on. I get to hold a grudge until I die”

"That was kinda harsh," Jay comments.

"Your best friend still hates me until now, Jay." You roll your eyes at your boyfriend.

"Mouse doesn't hate you. I even haven't got a chance to tell him about you since he's been deployed," Jay raises his eyebrows.

"She meant your work partner," Alex answers Jay for you.

Jay frowns deeper, "Hailey doesn't hate you."

"Wanna bet on that?" You challenge him.

Alex prevents the couple from bickering further, "Guys, listen! Angelique and I broke up amicably. There were no hard feelings between us now,"

"Excuse you!" You exclaim. "I still remember those dark days. You cried over so many Tequila bottles. And those boxes of chocolate!! Why did we have to consume that much chocolate over a breakup?? My waistline did not come back to its original measurement for three months!!"

Jay lets out an amused snort.

"Oh, you don't get to talk, man!" Alex hits the couple back. "Your temporary breakup also forced me to replenish my Jenever stocks! I got bakeries phone numbers on speed dial for chocolate cake emergencies!"

Jay puts his hands up in surrender. "Okay, okay. You guys continue to discuss business," He stands up from the couch. "I'm gonna go warm up some pie," Jay gestures to the kitchen area. "Alex, it's nice to catch up with you. Hope the next time we talk, it would be more social and less about business,"

"And you, love, try to listen to what Alex offers first before you cut him off," Jay bends down to kiss your lips teasingly. "Please don't pull out any bottles with more than 40% alcohol content. I need you sober for our plans tonight." He winks at you before moving to the kitchen, leaving you to deal with your pushy best friend alone.

+x Taglist +x

@lorenakaspersen @life-treatments @itsdesiree86

Foot Note: - Tom Cruise and Maggie Q blew up a Lamborghini Gallardo in Mission: Impossible III (2006). All of the MI movies are classics in my household. - Max Martin is a Swedish record producer, songwriter. You might not know his name, but I'm sure you know his songs. In reference to this fic, he co-wrote and co-produced Taylor Swift's "We are never ever ever getting back together", co-wrote Katy Perry's "Teenage Dream", co-wrote and co-produced some of Backstreet Boys' biggest hits. - "You are my friend. She is your ex. You get to forgive and move on. I get to hold a grudge until I die" line is taken from Henrietta Wilson on 9-1-1 TV Series S02E04 "Stuck". I thought it was hilarious. The line became the reason for this particular fic's existence.

I'm sorry for the long note. Thank you for reading this fic and the note. You are so welcome to reply, ask or tag me. We can talk about music, series or Jesse Lee Soffer's abs. :p

#jay halstead x reader #jay halstead imagine #jay halstead fic #one Chicago fic #chicago pd fic #chicago pd tv #jay halstead #reader #original character #fanfiction #one shot #original work #wyftiiffy

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didsomeonesaydaddydraco · 3 years

Text

Sweet secret | Tom Felton one shot

Request: yes. @anonymous

Word count: 2,710 words

Pairing: Tom Felton x reader

Note: This one was requested a while ago, I just had troubles writing it. But I really hope you guys like it! Don’t forget that my requests are still open and there’s a prompt list waiting for y’all to check it out. Also, let me know if you’d like to be added to my tag list! Take care babes xx

Being the only child of a rockstar had its own benefits. For example, it was a lot more easier for Y/N to meet her favourite celebrities and make connections with influential people from all type of industries. Having a world wide famous rockstar as a dad meant that she spent most of her time in the limelight, always travelling with him and being his biggest fan from the day she was born. By the age of sixteen, she had already travelled the whole world and successfully used her name to speak up about social issues and help different charities and organisations. She had never stopped talking about the importance of acceptance, equality, support and love. She lived her life like that. She didn’t care who you were, where you came from, as long as you didn’t hurt the ones she loved, she loved you and supported you. That was what she saw from her parents, and she was proud of her family being one of those celebrity families who never let fame get in their heads and go crazy over their net worth. They lived a humble life, and shared their love with the world.

But of course that lifestyle came with the content rumours and paparazzi chasing after them in the street. They tried to capture an awkward moment that could be laughed at, a bad hair day that could be the reason to judge, but what they wanted most, is to capture her with someone from the opposite sex. She always kept her love life private, hardly sharing any information about who she was seeing or who she was in a relationship with. She was happy that they could keep their relationship a sweet little secret for almost six months, and enjoy the privacy and intimacy of their bubble. It was until one day a fan of Tom successfully took a picture of them, being in the same car, driving around Los Angeles.

She met Tom through a mutual friend, who was aware of their silly little platonic crush on each other and knowing Y/N and Tom, she thought they could be a power couple. So when she learnt that both of them were going in to in LA for weeks, she didn’t hesitate to throw a summer party in her beach house and invite both of them. She kept it as a secret, didn’t want them to think they are being forced into something that they didn’t want in the first place. Y/BSF/N knew Y/N just recently got out of a terrible relationship and she was a little bit afraid to start something knew, fearing that the new guy would be the same as the previous one. And she knew that Tom, no matter how many times he said and acted like he wasn’t, was lonely and wanted to finally find someone who he could share his life with. She knew she had nothing to worry about, because the second they were introduced, they just immediately hit it off and spent the whole afternoon and night by each other’s side, talking about movies, music, travel, dreams and goals, and when the cocktails finally kicked in, they weren’t shy to shamelessly flirt with each other. Tom was confident about their mutual sympathy and felt something that he hadn’t felt in a very long time, and two days later, he asked her out of their first official date. He was a real gentleman. He picked Y/N up at her flat, brought a huge bouquet of white roses to her and treated her like a queen the whole night. He arranged a candlelight picnic dinner on the beach, far from the popular parts, so nobody could ruin their first date. They fed each other with fruits and cuddled while they watched the stars. It was nothing crazy, nothing fancy and extravagant. Money wasn’t in focus, but they were. That night was all about them. And when the night eventually had to end, Tom walked her to the door and sweetly kissed Y/N. Ever since then, the couple couldn’t imagine their days without at least FaceTiming each other. They were happy and crazily in love, of course they wanted to keep that a secret as long as they could , not wanting the media to ruin in for them. But life didn’t work like that. Paparazzi had no mercy and they were paid to take preferably the highest quality pictures of the top celebs and their close family. And social media users wanted something they could talk about, because that was the main priority for most people nowadays. Stalking the subject of their obsession and use the protection of anonymity of social media to hate and judge other people.

“Have you seen the pictures?” Y/N asked Tom when she finally found him chilling by the pool in his backyard. It was a rather hot day in LA, and he had a few days break from shooting his next movie, he wanted to get the best out of his little break and spend every single minute with his lady “My dad just sent me them” she gave her phone to Tom, so he could check out the short article with the attached photos. It was from a few days ago, when they went to grocery shopping together. They were just leaving the parking lot, and it was visible that Tom was holding up their interwind hands to his lips to kiss on her knuckles. Another picture of them showed how Tom opened the car door for Y/N, and as she was getting in the vehicle, he playfully patted her butt. He quickly clicked on the link to see the full article. It was really short, probably because the journalist didn’t have any solid evidence or information about their romance.

“What can I say? I just love your ass” Tom handed back her phone and chuckled at her expression “Darling, stop worrying. A fan sent those pictures to TMZ, so what? They have no evidence that we’re dating” he put his hand of her calf and looked up at her girlfriend. He knew they couldn’t keep their relationship a secret forever. No matter how much Tom liked the excitement of sneaking around and having privacy, he wanted to show the world how beautiful, amazing and perfect his girlfriend was “This shall too pass, just like any other rumour that is left without a word.”

“Alright” Y/N sighed and decided to ignore the article, the photos, the comments and the mentions. Tom was right. This whole thing will be long forgotten in a couple of days, if neither of them say anything about it. In that case, the media couldn’t blow it up “I just hate the media and the drama it causes every time”

“I know” he smiled at her sweetly, not liking the frown on her face from annoyance and worry “So will you finally join me in the pool or do I have to throw you in it again?” Y/N laughed and put her phone down on the deck chair. She winked at Tom and take of the think summer dress she was wearing to reveal Tom’s favourite swimsuit, a white one-piece with a deep V-cut. He whistled at her as she was walking down the few steps of the pool and swam up to him “You just made this already hot day way hotter, baby” he pulled her close, kissing her passionately and making her forget all about that article.

2 months later -

Having a boyfriend who was constantly traveling and filming wasn’t making a relationship smooth, and if you add a girlfriend who was working on her own career just as hard, then you could easily how Tom and Y/N’s relationship was. But they knew what they wanted and they did everything to make it work, even if they were in two different parts of the country. They called each other every time they had the chance, made sure to send a supporting message to the other, letting them know they were proud of their achievements in life, and of course memes. Tom was a huge fan of memes, and he liked to spam Y/N with them, especially with the Harry Potter ones. Y/N lived for the smile on Tom’s face and she knew how much he loved surprises, so when she could finally take a week off from work, her first thing was to book a flight to the city Tom was currently at. The smile on his face and how excited and happy he was when he saw his girlfriend after almost two months of only being able to see her through his phone was worth anything to Y/N.

“I missed you so much, baby” Tom said in between kisses, not letting go of the laughing girl in his arms “I was getting rather lonely without you” his was got an octave deeper and the familiar flame of lust and love appeared in his ocean blue eyes. Slowly, his lips made their way down to her neck from her lips, kissing along her jawline, holding her closer than ever.

“Mhm, as much as I want this” Y/N pulled away and looked up at Tom, who was pouting like a little boy who’s favourite toy was taken away. It was party true, one of his new favourite things to do was kissing Y/N whenever he had the chance “You have to go live in a less than 5 minutes. You promised a Harry Potter watch party to your babies, and I don’t want you to disappoint them” she kissed his nose and forced his arms off of her waist. Tom knew he couldn’t disappoint them, and he didn’t want to, but he still groaned as he went to make sure everything was okay with the internet connection and the light ring. Y/N watched how Tom settled with his guitar and a cup of tea, already smiling that she could watch her boyfriend interacting with his fans.

“I’ll just sing a little in the meantime” Tom said to Y/N, who was packing out of her suitcase, and changing into one of Tom’s Teddy Fresh hoodies. They were the most comfortable hoodies she had ever worn, and it was just a pleasing addition that they always smelled like Tom. She kept on packing and tidying up the mess Tom usually leaves in his room in the morning, and listened to his smoothing voice. She always loved when Tom was singing. I didn’t matter if it was a song from another artist, one that he wrote or just an improvised nonsense about something that caught his attention in that very second. She loved to see him happy, and singing made him happy.

Tom finally started his Instagram live and was singing one of his old songs. One that was very dear to both of them, because he sang that song on their one month anniversary and told her he was in love with her.

“I was in the right place, at the right time, that day we spent together” Tom kept looking at her behind his phone, his smile getting bigger when she blew him a kiss “There’s no where else I’d have put myself, or to share the day with anyone else” he finished the song and greeted his fans who were already sending hundreds of heart emojis and cute little love confession to him in the comment section. Y/N layed down on the bed, with her phone in her hands and read the comments, screenshooting a few cute ones to save them for later.

“Alright my little wizards and witches” Tom said “Shall we continue our magical journey to the one and only Hogwarts?” His voice was filled with excitement, he hadn’t seen any of the movies in so long, he really wanted to share this experience with those people who had such a huge impact in his career as an actor. Little did they know, the fans saw the secret glances and how Tom blushed at the sigh of his girlfriend taking off his hoodie, staying in only her shorts and a tank top. Even after all these months, he still thought of her as a goddess. The fans had been suspecting that Tom had someone special in his life. They caught on his glow, and how his smile became brighter. He always sang love songs during his lives and left little Easter eggs in his Instagram stories, or in his captions. They were happy to see him being in love, they were only waiting to finally be able to see who was the reason of Tom’s behaviour.

“Questions time!” He announce after the 11 minutes of the movie ended. He grabbed his guitar again and started playing spontaneously on the strings, creating a beautiful melody. It was the moment, when Y/N realised her phone was on 5%, and her charger was somewhere behind Tom. She knew it would have been suspicious, if he just grabbed it and handed it her, so she decided to go and grab it herself. From where she was laying, it looked like her charges was out of the frame, and nobody would see her. She tiptoed to the charger and made sure not to bump into anything that could alert the fans. It was their time with Tom, and she didn’t want to interrupt their little date.

“God, you’re so beautiful” Tom blurted out when he saw her behind him, grabbing her charger from the coffee table. As soon as the words left his mouth, they both froze. Y/N realised she was in the frame, being very much visible. She looked at her boyfriend with a socked expression, not being sure what to do next. Stay or go? Say something or stay silent? Wave or smile? As for Tom, he didn’t mind that she accidentally walked into the live. He wanted to tell the world for a while now about their relationship. He was tired of not being able to share his happiness with his fans and hiding their love. It was nothing wrong about it. Love, in any kind of form, should have been celebrated in a daily basis. And that was what he wanted.

“I guess it’s time to finally introduce you to my other family, baby” Tom put down his guitar and reached out to her hand, pulling her completely in the frame. He sat her on his lap and hugged her by the waist “Ladies and gentlemen, please, welcome the woman who has being making me the happiest man alive in the last six and a half months” he looked at her the way every girl wants to be looked at. If anyone would have question the love they had, they only had to watch how they were looking at each other. Love, adoration, passion and devotion. It was all in one single look “Sorry for keeping this a sweet little secret for so long, but I just wanted to have her for myself as long as I could” he chuckled and kissed the blushing cheek of his girlfriend. Y/N was still in a little bit of shock. This definitely wasn’t the way she wanted to announce their romance to the world, but she was revealed deep down. She could finally show her love and support freely.

“Don’t worry, I’ll make sure Tom has many dates with you guys on Instagram” winked to the camera and refused to look at the comments. She was floating in happiness, she didn’t want the haters to ruin it for her.

“I’m so damn lucky” Tom whispered and grabbed her face to give her a quick but sweet kiss on the lips. Nobody could stop him from posting about his girlfriend and what they had. He was finally able to show off, and make sure everyone saw her as she was. Not Tom Felton’s girlfriend, not the daughter of Y/F/N, but as Y/N Y/L/N. He was proud to have you, and planned to keep it that way till the rest of his life.

#tom felton #Tom Felton one shot #Tom Felton x reader #Tom Felton fluff #Draco Malfoy imagines #Draco Malfoy one shot #Tom Felton imagines #request #Tom Felton requests

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zet-sway · 3 years

Text

@the-wip-project day 35:

I don't know what today's question is but I gotta write a wall of text about what happened last night because holy shit

I was on the verge of falling asleep and, like I usually do, I decided to hunt for some spicy fanfics to read on my phone. I found one.

All my posts are long but this one is real fucking long. CW for touching on dub-con and injury mentioned in the type of context it probably shouldn't be.

It's time for me to admit that not only am I a oneshot writer, I'm also a oneshot reader. I am drawn to short fanfics. If I click on a chaptered fic, it's (usually) because it's rated E for smut and I'll go in with every intention of skimming it for the spicy bits. I'm not proud of this. I've avoided saying this for years because I don't want to disappoint people who work hard on their very long and well thought out chaptered stories. I have a short attention span, and I know what I want.

But anyway, last night I clicked on a fic with 5 chapters and some amount of words, around 30k? Long, by my standards, but I was tired and I just wanted something to read while I dozed off.

This particular fic hooked me in, though. I still skimmed it, but the writing was so unique in a way that made me writhe with writer's envy and admiration. Whoever wrote this had their own language - nothing borrowed - their own vision.

I guess I should tell the good people who read my posts (ya'll, seriously, thank you) that the fic in topic is called Fault Lines by Recidiva on AO3. I would link to it but uhhhh I may be using my work PC for "extracurricular purposes" right this moment ^^; so maybe when I get home I'll remember to add it.

I skimmed it - like I said above - for the spicy parts. It generally follows the plot of Bioware's canon. Thane begins as possessive and manipulative, likely uncomfortably close to dub-con for a lot of people. He kisses her and knows full well that his kiss will make her willing but intoxicated, and how he will use that to fulfil himself. But as the story progresses, he falls in love. Their relationship is what I'll call "edgy." Both of them are renegades. There's a scene where they get down in the shuttle after a fight and they're both still injured and it borders on downright unrealistic but fuck it, it's fanfic and I bought it. However their relationship develops a certain heart-wrenching tenderness. She asks him what Siha means over and over again, and eventually tells him she thinks "bitch" when he says it. But in that moment they have a playful banter, he knows full well she's probably already looked it up on the extranet, and they fall into bed together. The smut is mind-boggling.

By the time it gets to Shepard's arrest, he's taken up a place on Earth and visits her, breaks into her house arrest. There's a scene where they see each other for the first time in a while, she tells him how much she's missed his mouth and how it's not right how bad she wants him, and wants him bad enough to smother him with affection. She says something to the effect of "if you're looking to die, I'd volunteer to be the cause," implying that her lust is powerful enough to endanger his life. And it was at this moment I realized I fucked up.

It's established that I live in my own headcanon and I'm not burdened with considering the end of Thane's life as part of my fics. And the suspension of disbelief was such that I forgot he doesn't make it. So at this moment in the fic, chapter 4 out of 5, I realized "Oh shit this isn't going to have a happy ending." I skipped to the end right away, I wanted to confirm my fears.

In their final exchange, she asks him to lie to her - something that's repeated in other chapters of the story. I forget what he says, I was reading desperately, but he asks her in return to tell him something true. She kisses him and tells him she loves him, and he breathes his last breath with the lingering tingle of their kiss to carry him to the other side.

I was so entrenched in the depth of their relationship up to that point. The level of fathomless love the author conveyed, unlike anything I've ever managed to write before, but more realistic to my own understanding of love as I've experienced it. Not because they're renegades, but just the selflessness with which they feel, communicate, banter, and make love.

When I read that last paragraph, something inside me broke. That sounds dramatic but that's honestly how I would describe it. It felt like waking up from a night terror, when you bolt up in bed from a dream so bad you immediately get up even if it's 4am because nothing feels real and you're so terrified you have to get up and do something - literally anything to take your mind off it, to ease you back into reality. I put my phone down and stared into the darkness of my bedroom and told myself "it's just a fanfic, no need to get upset." And then I started to cry and I didn't stop for 30 minutes.

My husband was downstairs watching Bohemian Rhapsody and I went down there and wrapped myself around him so tight and cried. Bless this man, from the bottom of my heart - bless him - for his unfathomable kindness. I felt like a fucking fool because I was crying over fanfiction but he paused his movie and just listened while I tried to articulate how it wasn't exactly about the character death, or the characters at all, it was just the writing and how it wormed into my brain so convincingly. I felt the loss like it was my own loss. I am terrified of losing my husband. So many feelings coalesced and I realized one day I may be in that situation, kissing the man I love goodbye for the last time, never to hold him again. I'm at work right now and I'm tearing up because it's so hard.

I tip my hat to the author, but I genuinely wished I hadn't read that fanfic. And isn't it kind of funny after that grandstand I took yesterday about not wanting to write the pain of loss and grief, that I ended up reading it instead and probably fucking myself up just as badly, if not worse, than if I had tried to write it myself?

It gets worse, too. Because it got me thinking about my own writing, and how I could never hope to achieve what that author did. So I sat there crying out my painfeelings while simultaneously feeling like a shit writer and like nothing I put out matters. I got up from the couch, sat down at my PC and picked up where I left off in the Omega DLC in ME3 because video games are great for taking the mind off things. It didn't exactly help with the intensity I'd hoped for, but I managed to fall asleep, by 3am.

Fast forward to this morning. I dragged my sorry ass out of bed 4 hours later and drove to work. By some fucking miracle, no one is here right now except our field director. And I'm stewing in how this one fic really fucked me up bad, reconsidering everything. I feel like I've been put in my place.

So what changed?

Yesterday I posted about how I'm struggling to write a plotline. I know what happens, but I'm not interested in the little bits that tie it together. I want to write the romance. I think there's a way to write the plot and the romance at the same time, but it's damn hard.

I started doing this because I wanted to grow my skills as a writer, and I knew it might be more than I could chew. I'm at that moment now where I'm about ready to give up.

Even if I felt like a shit writer last night (and still kinda do this morning), I know that the stuff I've put out has value. We can't all write these epically tragic smut-romance-renegades-to-lovers tales, we'd all be sad all the damn time. There's a time and a place and - I would argue - even a need for lighterhearted fic out there. There are really no rules. I'm confident in what I know how to do.

But the plot. Fuck it, man. I think maybe I'm trying too hard to be something I'm not. I'm trying really hard to write like other people. I may have mentioned before that I saw a post about how many artists spend their time pining for the skills of others, thinking "wow, when I can draw like that, I'll have made it as an artist." That same post cautioned against this, basically saying you already have your own unique style, it's just harder to see through the lens of your own eyeballs. It's fine to challenge yourself but try to acknowledge what you do that sets you apart already. I feel like I have that something - maybe not to the extent that I wish, but I have something.

So what's the point of the plot? Why do I need to tell my readers how I cured Keprals? I'm asking myself important questions here. I like to think I've come up with ideas that no one else has, but as I said above, I don't read a lot of chaptered fics. I very well may have come to the same ideas as other writers and I'm not even aware of it. I don't know if my ideas are unique but I still arrived at them all by myself.

The challenge here - the thing I'm struggling so much with - is how to put them together with the same elegance of my fellow writers. I'm looking at you, shrios fam (yeah I'm calling you that, yall know who you are). I know I can write words, but it's like I have a bunch of pieces from completely different jigsaw puzzles and I'm struggling to make a new picture out of them. I struggle with the transitions between them.

The point here is I have to find my own way. And I have to stop taking myself so seriously. In fact this level of "seriousness" is one of the things that got me into so much angst over World of Warcraft over the last two years. At least I know how to recognize it.

I have to find my own way. I have my own things that are worth sharing. The author I read last night had a language all their own, and I have a language all my own too. Their wordplay was actually more choppy than I would ever write. I've talked before about how I'm scared of starting too many sentences with pronouns, how I maybe write too many run-on sentences, whatever. This author did that with reckless abandon. It worked for them. So if they can make that shit work, I can make my own shit work.

I have to find my own way.

My most current WIP is Thane and Shepard's first time. I've been working on it pretty nonchalantly because I hadn't intended to publish it until I built up to it. It takes place further into my timeline, and it would probably ruin the point of a slow burn if I put it out there now. There are some really memorably moments in this WIP, and there are other moments that need to be smoothed over as well. I never knew what I'd really imagined for their first time but I think I've mostly developed something that's unique in its own right, and I think will be fun for people to read.

I'm just so fucking torn over what to do with it. I feel guilty for working on it. I should be writing "other shit" leading up to it but I don't fucking want to. I actually wrote probably 2-3k words this weekend, which is a pretty staggering amount by my standards. Some of it was for this smutty WIP and some was for something I just threw together, Thane observing Shepard on Horizon and the emotional toll it takes on her. He's seeing her humanity. I don't know if it's worth it to continue but I wrote a lot of it and the words are more precise than usual for a draft, I don't know. I have so much fucking insecurity. Fuck dude. I want to write this longfic, but I don't want to write it. I want to skim to the spicy bits like I always do.

I am wracked with insecurity, of my own making. I know what I can do but I feel compelled to see this idea through. Somehow I have to find my own way.

TLDR I feel like if I don't publish something soon I'm going to burst and I don't even know what the fuck to work on first and fjslfjsojoiejrj

I would be really down for, like, a bunch of hugs and a bowl of ice cream shared over memes and fanservice.

#this post is EXTREMELY fucking long send help #ITT: i read something that probably changed my brain chemistry for a few hours and it's painful #zet vs 100days #i'm just glad to get this off my chest good lord #anyway if people want to send me links to their favorite shrios fluff i would welcome it

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weuschoiceheart · 3 years

Text

⋘I-Land / Enhypen⋙ Love, I-Land (special chapter)

Tagging: @mari-kigold @akira-star @affectionaterainoflove @enhypenthusiast @periwinkle-ink

Genre: just very nostalgic :))

Word Count: 2k+

Jay knew something was up when he walked into a dead silent Hybe building.

Looking around, he frowned at the emptiness. Am I too early? Too late? Checking his watch, he realized that he was exactly on time. So where is everyone?

Sitting down on the couch, he decided to wait for everyone in the lounge. Perhaps the other members were playing some trick on him, to scare him when he lets his guard down. None of the other Hybe artists were here today, since Bang PD had let everyone take the day off, so the silence felt disorienting.

A beep from Jay’s phone startled him out of his thoughts, and he clicked on the notification.

Location change: go back to where we started. See you at the reunion!

“Go back to where we started…” Jay muttered, a smile spread across his face as he thought back to the old box in the woods.

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“Remember when we first came here?” Youngbin sighed as he, Jimin, and Sungchul walked through the forest. “It seems so long ago.”

“Yeah…” Jimin stretched his arms above his head, pointing at the familiar building coming into view. “And we’re here.”

“It still hasn’t changed,” Sungchul said in awe, watching as the black door slowly flipped open and the three of them walked in. “I can’t wait to see everyone again.”

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“Wow...I can’t believe it’s been a year already,” K traced the sides of the egg gate. “Everything feels older.”

“No, it’s just you getting old,” Kyungmin teased, ducking behind Nicholas before K could smack him. “I’m kidding, I’m kidding.”

“Remember when we waited for you to come back from the dance unit test?” EJ asked. “You guys were so cool performing on stage.”

K smiled, thinking back to the old memories. The feeling of being on stage again, giving all he got to keep from getting eliminated. The cheers from the other boys, the smiles at the camera. He still recalled the nervous feeling of waiting for the results, and most of all, he vividly remembered the moment he, Jungwon, and Sunghoon got back to I-Land and hearing—

“Hello~”

As if on cue, the gate opened to present Enhypen crowding around the entrance, doing the exact same move K had created a year ago. Jaw dropping in shock, he heard the yells from the other boys as they tumbled out the egg and embraced the members they haven’t seen in months. Before he could fully comprehend everything, a wild blur of blonde hair suddenly launched himself onto him and Taki, wrapping his arms around them both.

“Taki! Hyung! You’re back!” K laughed as Niki jumped up and down, bursting with excitement to see his fellow Japanese brothers. Has he grown taller? K wondered, and he felt somehow proud and sad at the same time. Ruffling Niki’s hair, he watched as the younger hugged Taki, almost lifting him off his feet. “Let him breathe, Niki, we’re not going anywhere.”

“You’re finally here.” A familiar voice said, and K turned to see Seon making his way over. Grinning, he trapped K in another hug, and K feels like he’s finally back home.

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“Did you actually framed the shirt?”

“Yes I did, do you want to come over to see it?” Jay boasted, trying to one up Nicholas.

“He actually didn’t, he lost it when we moved into the dorms and this morning he panicked because he couldn’t wear it to the reunion,” Jake said, causing Nicholas to raise his eyebrows at Jay, who gave Jake a look of betrayal.

“You weren’t supposed to tell him that!”

“Well, it’s not like—ahhhhh!”

Before Jake could finish his sentence, a larger body wrapped his arms around him. He could sense the younger boy’s enormous smile before he could hear him. “It’s me, Jakey!”

“Daniel!” Jake tried to struggle out of Daniel’s embrace, though he was too busy laughing. “You almost gave me a heart attack.”

“He’s going around hugging everyone,” Jay explained, “Don’t be surprised if he actually gives you one next time.”

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The ghost watched the boys crowding around the egg gate, a sad smile on his face. It’s been so long since he had any visitors, and seeing them back brought some light in his undead life. Literally. All the lights had been shut off since the boys left, and the ghost had to make his way around in perpetual darkness. Not that he needs any light to see, but it's nice to view the sun, even if it’s just for a little while.

Turning around to look at the practice room he just came out of, the ghost could almost see the past images of the boys practicing there. The Fire team, organizing their formations. The Fake Love team with their hoods and shirts over their heads, trying to practice without laughing. The Flicker team, playing around with the curtains. It’s also the place where Seon first found him, and the first time the ghost ever revealed itself to anyone.

There was the lounge connecting to it, where Niki had played the piano and Heeseung had sung. Where the infamous arm wrestling match had taken place and the boys had played with the video filters on the IPads. Where they had cried and comforted each other, and where Jay had written his heartfelt letters.

Making his way up the staircase that the Grounder boys had also walked up to see I-Land, the ghost drifted along the common room. Here, all of them had sat while playing Truth or Dare, the hoodies spread out and “Made by Jay” was created, where they waited anxiously to perform. If he concentrates just enough, the ghost can almost imagine the I-Land boys filming their PR videos, and sheep Niki making Sunghoon laugh.

There was the dining area, the place where the morning zombies had sat, Sunoo had said “I’m cuter,” where they munched on macaroons and ramen. The ghost can almost see the nine reading letters from their parents, talking and joking around the table. There was the kitchen area, where Sunghoon had screeched about the pork, Hanbin had found the broken banana, and Heeseung had ranted about the ramen. The fridge was empty of spoons, and no one did any side squats to get rid of bloating now.

Moving on to the bedrooms. He had always wondered how K managed to fit his long limbs on the bed, or if he could at all. The mist that Sunoo had sprayed all over his face, and that Jungwon had almost eaten, was gone from the drawer, leaving only the empty reflection of the room in the mirror. The annoying fly that Geonu had tried to catch was gone, the light that Jay had turned off dark (no, the dressing room light does not automatically turn off by itself), all the beds stripped of clothes and necessities. Why Nicholas was sleeping naked would remain a mystery, no more Jay yelling at everyone to wake up and Niki going back to sleep right after.

The washrooms were next. He had to admit, Jungwon’s and Jake’s pranks against Jay worked pretty well, coming from a ghost anyway. There were the sinks lining the wall where K and Taki washed up like father and son, where K and Jay hugged and promised that they’ll debut together, where Jay scolded everyone for leaving their laundry around.

Out of the washroom now, the ghost lingered outside the room that used to contain the stage outfits and BTS phones. The traces of the boys can be felt, thinking back to the selfies and pictures they took together, to when they marveled at the clothes for their very first “Into the I-Land” stage. He peeked into the practice rooms where he can almost see the Pretty U team helping Sunghoon struggle through aegyo, and where the I Need U team played zombies with the eye massager.

Drifting down the stairs again, remembering how Youngbin carried Jungwon down the stairs to the practice when the younger boy was barefooted, the ghost moved on to the stage itself. He recalled every performance here clearly; the nerve-wracking audition stages, the dance and vocal units battle, the incredible “I&credible” stages, the moving “Calling” performance, and the iconic “Dive Into You” stage. Jigeum Buteo saying “Standby,” Jake’s “this hyung is crazy!” and the confused “Rival? Live?” echoed through the ghost’s ears. The memories of it all hit him like a truck (not that he would feel anything if he was hit by a truck, he’s a ghost after all, but you get the simile), causing him to choke up a little. He missed them so much.

Strolling outside now, the ghost walked into Ground, and reminisced some more. Here was where Rain taught them “Fire” and hugged every one of the boys. He could picture Jay giving back massages to Kyungmin, telling him how they must work through the pain to get to I-Land. There was Hanbin comforting Jaebeom (it’s so weird calling him Echan now), and helping the other boys learn the dance. Sunoo and Sungchul practicing “Save Me,” Jaeho practicing with Nicholas and Niki, Taki making faces at the camera. A blurry image of all the boys comparing and measuring their heights, trying to see who’s taller. Really, I-Land seems like a magical paradise, but he would never forget the fun times the Grounders had, and the hard work they put in to achieve their dreams.

Outside once again, he spied the matted grass on the ground and smiled wistfully. It’s strange, he thought, how it was still there after Jungwon filmed his PR video in his sheep costume. He remembered how adorable he was, how all of them were, showing off their personalities to get fans to vote for them. And now it’s getting dark, so the ghost moved on to the small light from a campfire in the distance.

Settling down on the ground, he watched as all the boys talked and joked with each other. They were sitting down in front of the large screen, where the final 11 had watched the fan videos, and pulled the benches around in a circle. Their smiles lit up their faces, their arms tangled in one another, Jimin’s head leaning against Geonu’s, Taeyong holding onto Echan’s hand. The scene filled the ghost with a feeling he can’t describe, and being a ghost with no heart, it was definitely a little strange, feeling something after a long time of emptiness.

“....and I just want to say thank you, to everyone for staying by my side on this journey,” Seon concluded, snapping the ghost out of his daze as the boy sat down. As if reading his thoughts, Seon’s eyes flickered over to where the ghost sat, and smiled.

Thank you for looking after us.

Being a ghost is lonely sometimes, floating in and out of places with no purpose. The smile, that one kind thought, ignited a flame in him. In a world filled with countless people, it’s hard to spot a lone spirit, invisible in a crowd. It’s even harder to make them feel at home, in a place where they’re recognized and wanted. Yet here he is, enveloped in a family who coaxed him out of his shell. No, I should be thanking you, Seon.

Maybe this is what the fans felt, watching them run for their dreams. Every Friday charged with anticipation and excitement, of finding who would get eliminated and who would stay. Away from lives permeated with pain, loneliness, and uncertainty, they found solace within these 23 boys as they followed them on this journey to debut. Along the way, the fans found each other as well, and a community full of eggies and engenes was born.

Thank you for the memories, I-Land.

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A/N: Thank you to all the eggies for welcoming me into this wonderful family. Whether you were a predebut stan or just started stanning Enhypen, thank you for supporting our boys. I-Land is over now, but our journey with the boys will live on.

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quirkhearted-m · 3 years

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{Okay, time to talk about my hero AU Tenko Shimura~

In this AU, Tenko’s childhood plays out the same as in canon, the differences starting while he’s wandering the streets after the disastrous Quirk manifestation. Where he’s found, and unlike canon, someone does stop to help him; an around thirteen-year-old Fat Gum. Where Taishiro winds up taking the younger Tenko straight home after seeing how horribly disheveled and terrified the boy is.

Resulting in Taishiro’s parents officially adopting Tenko after learning of his situation, making him a very much loved member of their family. And after noticing him being too scared to really touch anything or even get close enough to touch them, etc, they get gloves commissioned specifically for his Quirk, looking like artist’s gloves (likely gets upgraded to full gloves when he gets the advancement to where he could decay things with less than all five fingers). Leading to him very gradually feeling safer touching things, but it does take quite a while before he’s able to touch someone (or even get close enough to touch someone) without fear.

He gets through elementary school and middle school with some Quirk-related incidents, but was overall a well-behaved and dedicated student. When it came to getting into UA, he instantly knew it’d be a challenge. Knowing he wasn’t the most ideal hero course student with his Quirk and his still-present fear of it, he applied for just General Studies, thinking of it as the safest option. Not wanting to potentially endanger any other hero course students and doubting he’d even make it through the Entrance Exam.

That was, until he finally got the guts to get transferred into the course thanks to his surprising performance at a Sports Festival. After many heart-stopping close calls, gradual increase of confidence, and intense Quirk training, he finally got the title he’d longed for. Picking the hero name Wither and specializing as a rescue hero. His control over his Quirk has increased greatly by the time he graduates from UA, yet he’s still very cautious when it comes to it unintentionally activating outside of hero work, always leaving a finger up when touching/grabbing things when not wearing the gloves (which is a rarity).

His physical appearance is the same as Shigaraki’s, but more like war arc Shigaraki in terms of build.

And here’s his hero costume:

He keeps it simple; a black top with sleeves that end just before his wrist for easier glove-removal with a high collar that covers his neck, black pants along with ankle-height dark red combat boots with black laces. The top & pants have red accents/trim.

He does update it, however, after the first "phase" of the war arc:

He does eventually grow to accept his neck scars sometime after the war arc and lowers the collar as a costume adjustment. Resulting in him now having a light gray v-neck top with sleeves ending before his elbows, the color fading into black by the ends of the sleeves. Pants are darker gray. His boots also change to black knee-height combat boots with red laces with a few silver buckles around them. There’s also a dark red belt that holds a flashlight, mini first aid kit, a spare pair of gloves. Connected to the belt is a dark gray leather sheath resting on his back that contains his support item (a sword-like item that stops the spread of his decay) with a dark red strap over his right shoulder. He also starts tying his hair into a ponytail during hero work.

Personality-wise:

He’s initially a very reserved and anxious person, Tenko is still a greatly compassionate and kind person who’s extremely watchful of his Quirk. His honestly rather destructive Quirk plays a huge part in his anxiety, even after finally achieving his dream of becoming a hero, he’s still super careful of his hands and whether or not he has his Quirk-cancelling gloves on. But he still has his flaws: the itching desire to dust those he deems worthy of it (even smaller scale criminals) which he tries so hard to suppress, how detrimental & frightening his anger can be if set off which is why he keeps it on such a tight leash, and just his general anxiety when it comes to him constantly debating as to if he’s even a worthy hero & how much his past with his family impacts him

He was there for the USJ incident alongside Thirteen due to him also being a rescue hero. That was his first real big event as a Pro (paralleling Shigaraki’s first ever attack), too, which was stressful, with the attacking villains only adding to it. He's frozen with fear until seeing the Nomu go after Aizawa, resulting in a split-second of bravery- only for it to regenerate. Thus, that terror returns tenfold. Of course he’s roughed up (hands probably busted up similarly to the Redestro vs Shigaraki fight along with a few more bad wounds) before Midoriya & All Might save him. Yet, he’s just guilty he couldn’t do what he’d wanted to against the Nomu, with him probably trying all kinds of things against it, even with his hands/body damaged. That one moment of bravery wound up being for nothing, in his eyes. He's left with scarred hands from the fight with the Nomu after it figured out his Quirk came from his hands.

He took part in the mission to get rid of the Nomus in Kamino, finding his Quirk perfectly suited to the job. Only to run into AFO with Mt. Lady & Best Jeanist, resulting in him being so shaken by seeing the man, nightmares featuring him occurred.

His true past was repressed until the Overhaul arc where he went after Eri with Mirio, heavily relating to the trapped girl & wanting her to be saved the same way he was. He also utterly despised Chisaki & wanted nothing more to straight up disintegrate him, which deeply shocked him. Running into Nemoto’s Confession Quirk resulted in his past being revealed to Mirio, something he was only receiving the occasional fuzzy flashback about until Nemoto yanked it all out of him in one go. All that suffering, guilt, and relief flooding back to him, making the connection between Kotaro & Chisaki, realizing just how insecure he was about his Quirk & the intense doubt he felt regarding his hero status.

Ultimately, he was snapped out of it by Mirio and was able to go ahead to face Chisaki himself. Despite trying so hard to hold his emotions & Quirk back, he finally snapped when Mirio lost his Quirk, finally letting loose on Chisaki, burning hatred fueling him. Resulting in his Quirk advancing to where he can activate his Quirk with less than five fingers as well as his hair turning white. I like to imagine he was inches away from doing the same thing to Chisaki he did to his father, but stopped himself before Midoriya entered the fight. Only for him to be distracted & tossed aside, resulting in him being knocked out.

He also took part in the war arc as well, which I still have to properly flesh out.

And now, a hc dump:

He’s ambidextrous.

Tenko using a scarf to hide his neck scars because he’s insecure about them.

Him having nightmares about how his Quirk manifested/his Quirk going haywire again despite the fact he’s made so much progress with it already.

Him fighting the urge to scratch at his neck whenever he’s stressed.

His telltale signs of stress being his hands & fingers aggressively flexing/hands grabbing onto whatever’s close or his nails digging into whatever surface nearby.

Still having his gaming interest bringing out a more excitable side of him and fidgeting with joysticks.

Tenko’s gaming peripherals have RGB on them. He likes the Glow~ And I can see his setup being mostly black with the occasional white/silver.

Him being great with scared kids when them, because he sees his child self in them, and it means the world to him if he can help them feel less scared.

When Tenko overuses his Quirk, there’s a tingly feeling in his hands similar to a limb falling asleep that occurs for nearly 5-10 minutes after the overuse, leading to the Decay travel & strength being greatly limited.

Tenko has hero work related scars from occasional debris he wasn’t able to decay in time. Because I can for sure see him using his body to shelter whoever was in danger of being hit by falling debris he didn’t have the chance to get rid of.

Having doubts about his title as a hero, knowing he’s far from the “ideal” hero in terms of appearance & Quirk. Both due to hero society & catching himself going back to his dad’s denouncement of heroes, knowing he became what his dad was so against once he does fully remember his past.

Remembering he had the absolute intent to decay his father & destroy the house when his Quirk first manifested, but not meaning to decay his other family members. even though they didn’t do anything to help him when he’d essentially repressed those memories beforehand. Knowing he was capable of such destruction at a young age, knowing he’d be viewed as a monster if that news ever got out to hero society. Him being secretive of his past once he recalled it & scared to really get close to anyone after remembering his past actions because they might know about what he did or somehow recognize him from when he was a child or even be scared of his Quirk.}

#long post #{ 𝓴𝓲𝓽 𝓼𝓹𝓮𝓪𝓴𝓼 ~ 𝓸𝓸𝓬 }#⁽ ⠀ ✦ ⠀ ⁾ — TENKO SHIMURA - HEADCANONS

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the-other-art-blog · 3 years

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Little Women (book): Chapter 44 My Lord and My Lady!!!

I mean just the title of the chapter makes me smile. Seriously, why didn’t Greta adapted this chapter??? It’s about money and art. It was perfect for her movie. I’m sorry, I just can’t get over the fact that Timmy had no idea this happened. But anyway, this is about the book. There’s so much to discuss, this will be long.

Come on, Laurie goes to Orchard to get Amy back home because he can’t possibly find something. Sweetheart.

They do a simile with the weather that’s beautiful and it’s basically Laurie saying that Amy keeps him grounded and focus. And Amy replies saying,

‘Lovely weather so far. I don’t know how long it will last, but I’m not afraid of storms, for I’m learning how to sail my ship.’

This is a recurrent quote. When I read it the first time, I thought she was talking about her alone. But she’s talking about the marriage. Everything so far has been amazing, love among roses. But she knows there will be difficult times and she’s ready to take them. This is bittersweet because we know Amy will suffer multiple miscarriages before their Bess is born. And even then, she’s going to be a frail child.

I read an article that blamed Amy for discouraging Laurie in his pursuit to become a composer. It couldn’t have been farther from the truth. Since Laurie was in Vienna, he realized he didn’t have what it takes to be a genius, just like Amy. Then he began craving for hard and earnest work. Now, back in Concord Laurie is proud to say he will continue his grandfather business. Amy’s parents are very pleased to hear that. I’m sure everyone was surprised to see the changes in Laurie, from the boy who didn’t even want to go to college to an honest and hard-working man, responsible for his own family.

But Amy also has plans. She’s going to be a lady of society, as any woman who married into a family like the Laurences should have done. But they also plan to be a good influence in that society.

Once their gone, Mr. and Mrs. March talk about them. They both agreed they are happy and that it will last. Marmee is especially proud. She was worried when Amy told her about Fred Vaughn, but now she is relieved that Amy knew best and chose the best man for her. Jo agrees, though she still longs for the same happiness. But it quickly fades because Mr. Bhaer enters the house!!! These two are such dorks.

Going back to Amy and Laurie... it’s just too amazing.

Everyone, except Jo, knows Bhaer is there for Jo. Amy is a bit worried that Laurie may be jealous. It’s not that, just that he would prefer Bhaer to be younger and richer. He just wants a good life for his best friend/sister. Amy reminds him a woman should never marry for money. Ahh this is great!

‘I’d have married you if you hadn’t a penny, and I sometimes wish you were poor that I might show how much I love you.’

‘You don’t really think I am such a mercenary creature as I tried to be once, do you? It would break my heart if you didn’t believe that I’d gladly pull in the same boat with you, even if you had to get your living by rowing on the lake.’

I’m just going to leave those quotes for anyone who thinks she married Laurie for money. Laurie says he and Marmee talk about that. If anything, what attracted her the most, or at least initially to Laurie was his looks.

‘Yes, I am, and admiring the mple in your chin at the same time. I don’t wish to make you vain, but I must confess that I’m prouder of my handsome husband than of all his money. Don’t laugh, but your nose is such a comfort to me.’ And Amy softly caressed the well-cut feature with artistic satisfaction.

This is Amy. She is a visual person and enjoys seeing beautiful things, so forgive her for choosing the most handsome man in town.

Amy does show some insecurities towards Jo but Laurie reassures he’s happy with her. So then they discuss a way of helping Jo and Bhaer. Because that’s Amy’s dream: to help others. She says it over and over again!!! They could have gone to donate to charities like so many other rich people do, but instead the decide to help talented people achieve their artistic ambitions.

It’s so fitting. Both Laurie and Amy gave up their dreams of being famous artists because they didn’t have genius. They could have grown bitter about it. But instead they decide to help those who really have genius. I love them.

Amy is also a very grateful person. She acknowledges that she achieved her current status because she got help from lots of people. I don’t remember if the whole “I want to make my own way into the world” conversation actually happened in the book. But Aunt March was right in the 2019 movie. No one, NO ONE succeeds on their own. We all need people,we all need help. And there’s nothing wrong with that. Jo herself needed her family, the public and the editors to succeed. The important thing is always to say “thank you”.

Ambitious girls have a hard time, Laurie, and often have to see youth, health, and precious opportunities go by, just for want of a little help at the right minute. People have been very kind to me, and whenever I see girls struggling along, as we used to do, I want to put out my hand and help them, as I was helped.’

Greta exploited that first line in this quote during the whole press tour, but I’m not sure she remembers why Amy’s saying that. The point is, Amy wants to help girls achieve their dreams. And here’s another “prophetic” element. May Alcott Nieriker was not only a talented painter. She also wrote a guide for women called Studying Art Abroad and How To Do It Cheaply. I don’t have the actual information now, but I think she also wrote columns in a newspaper encouraging women to study art. Neither May nor Amy were Queen Bees, they wanted to succeed, but they also wanted other to be with them. That’s amazing.

Laurie is on board. I mean, they have grown so much. Both of them started as probably the most spoiled characters. And now they are deciding to become a philanthropist couple.

So the young pair shook hands upon it, and then paced happily on again, feeling that their pleasant home was more homelike because they hoped to brighten other homes, believing that their own feet would walk more uprightly along the flowery path before them, if they smoothed rough ways for other feet, and feeling that their hearts were more closely knit together by a love which could tenderly remember those less blest than they.

You can ship whoever you want, but don’t trash this couple cause they are nothing but kind, generous and grateful. And they’ve achieved it with each other’s help and love.

In my opinion, people who hate Amy and Amy and Laurie read the book until Jo rejects Laurie. Then they do a tantrum and stopped reading/ paying attention. Honestly, that’s the only explanation I can think of for all the hate Amy receives.

#little women #little women 2019 #amy march #amy and laurie #Amy x Laurie #Jo and Laurie #jo x bhaer #louisa may alcott #seriously what's wrong with people who hate Amy #ugh I can't #apparently no one is ever allowed to make one mistake ever #except if you're Jo or Laurie than you can screw up dozens of times and people will ignore it #isn't being a Christian means being able to forgive?#honestly Greta #you had so much material

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