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lilystyles · 1 year

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old friends.

part one of the no strings attached series by @lilystyles

no strings attached masterlist & main masterlist xxx

authors note i’m aussie so i have no idea what england/london (where this fic is set) is actually like. so if i get it wrong i apologise i’ve never been there! also, i know harry didn’t go to uni and became famous way younger than in this fic but for the sake of the plot pls ignore that! and gif credits to the original owner as always. make sure to follow if you want to see part two!

brief description harry and y/n are old friends who reunite and quickly pick right back up where they left off. new tensions arise and a deal is struck up.

warnings! mentions of sex, smut (m! receiving, dry humping, kissing, fingering), swearing, alcohol abuse and overall just a mature read. 5kish words (i didn't mean to make it this long whoops enjoy)

inexperienced!virgin!reader x fwb!harry

* * * * *

Maybe getting with him wasn’t the best idea. Y/n could admit that.

She knew getting involved with one of her oldest friends and messing with the friend group dynamic was a dangerous game, they’d all been mates for years, and she had taken it into account before they struck up the deal. But there was just something about Harry that she couldn’t help but be drawn to.

She’d known him since her they were kids. They’d grown up together from the awkward stages all the way up to now. He was this successful rockstar who the world simply adored, and she had always known he’d do something great with himself ever since she’d been old enough to comprehend the idea itself. She was studying still at university in a degree she loved. They had made it in this world! So far from their small village where they had dreamed up their futures. If only the two children could see them now.

Though they were never best friends when they were younger they had always ran in the same circle and saw a lot of each other for as long as Y/n could remember it. It was only during University that they had become close friends. They had even been roommates for a year there. They both only knew each other then so it made sense for them to be together a lot.

Even through all those years, nothing had ever been more than platonic between them. Sure, Y/n had known he was handsome, and overall a lovely person but she knew that he was her friend more importantly. She valued that. She loved her friends, all of them.

She’ll admit that there had been moments where she’d briefly thought of Harry in that way. Usually, when they were out drinking and he’d take care of her, only a few times when they were roommates and they shared late nights talking on the couch, but overall she kept it at bay. Knowing that friendship was more important to her than almost anything.

Not to mention Harry was a very loved man, he’d had many girlfriends in the years Y/n had known him. They had never particularly warmed to her, especially when they were roommates they all despised her. Honestly though, back then they had nothing to worry about. Y/n was too scared to try anything.

But there was always some sort of tension there. Y/n never understood it really, not until a good friend of the both of them, James, said that it was just the way Harry treated her. He called her pet names, was constantly affectionate towards her (especially drunk), loved to make her laugh, and during Uni they were inseparable. When his fame skyrocketed she saw much less of him, understandably, and she got busy with her studies.

When he came home for a break from touring and showed up at the group’s Christmas party he saw her for the first time in about two years. They had drifted but not in the sense that it was awkward, more so that it was like when they saw each other it was like not a moment had passed. She smiled widely and stood up from the couch surprised to see him in there in front of her and not just splashed on a billboard.

She was still Y/n, but she was older. She wasn’t in a baggy old shirt with her eyes glued to a computer typing away. She was here in a tight red jumper that showed a sliver of skin and a tattoo by her hip that he had never known about, with these jeans that hugged her perfect body. Her cheeks were just as rosy as before, her eyes just as doe-like, lips just as sweet only covered in a red gloss. She was still Y/n, but Harry felt like he was back in primary school when he’d pulled on her pigtail. She was fucking gorgeous and their history made it even better. He knew her well, so well. That would never change.

Even having not seen or heard from each other properly for nearly two years he instantly made his way to her and pulled her into a tight hug. His ring-covered hands were on the exposed skin of her lower back, as she giggled into his chest happily in a welcome surprise.

His deep voice rumbled. “Hi, stranger.”

“Haz,” She sighed. It’d been a long time since he’d heard that nickname. She pulled back to look at him; he was just as beautiful as before, more tattooed, more glamorous but still the beautiful boy she remembered.

“Hi.” She said softly, eyelashes fluttering.

Nothing happened that night, not then. They just talked until the sun rose, catching up it was like no time had passed. He was still as charming and funny and she was still as coy and kind.

New Year’s Eve was the next time they saw each other after reuniting. He found Y/n sadly sitting on the balcony of their friend Daisy’s apartment. She was in this little silver disco-ball dress with tall boots, a cigarette in her mouth. He’d been ordered by the others to find her. It was freezing out here.

“What are you doing out here, Love?”

She turned and he could see the glassy wash of her eyes. She looked so pretty, even when she cried.

“Nothing.” She replied, shoulders slumped over.

“Missing the fun inside. Aren’t you cold, Babe?” His hand stroked her bare shoulder softly. He felt the goosebumps, and the warmth of his hand was welcome.

She shrugged. “I’m fine, H.”

“What’s got a gorgeous girl like you frownin’, hmm?” He knew why. Daisy had told him. The guy she had been dating recently had stood her up, without so much as a text. She’d checked his Instagram story to see he was off somewhere else with some other woman. It wasn’t that serious and after the Christmas party, she had questioned if she was even truly attracted to him. No one made her laugh like Harry, or feel so special. He made anyone feel like they were special.

“Harry?”

“Y/n?” He replied.

“Be honest, I need a male opinion.” He walked towards her taking off his leather jacket to put on her body, she smiled up at him. Grateful for the warmth, the smell was comforting and suddenly it was years ago. The first time they went to a New Year’s party during University. Deja vu.

“Y/n, how do you wear such tiny clothes in this weather!” Exclaimed Harry. He was rugged up in a big brown wool coat, and a crimson scarf bundled around his neck, his jumper was this old led zeppelin one that Y/n loved on him. His pants were old flared jeans and he had some loafers on.

Y/n looked up at him, they were on the balcony of an apartment complex. It was a few minutes until the countdown then it would be 2014. “Fashion is pain, Haz. C’mon. I look great don’t I?” She gestured down to her red dress which was a similar shade to his scarf. She had a tiny shawl over her shoulders but other than that she wasn’t prepared for the snowy evening.

“I can’t argue there but you are the biggest baby when you get sick, I can’t have you catching a cold.” He shrugged off his big coat and wrapped her up in it. It smelled of him; mint, cigarettes and a spicy woodsy smell.

“Says the one who I had to spoonfeed!”

“Oh shoosh. Now I need your advice about Mia she’s been eyeing me up all night….”

“Of course, I owe you, you helped so much with my girl problems in uni.” He seemed to be thinking of that night too.

“Is…” She sighed and looked away from him to stare off at the city lights. The smell of his jacket was just like the wool one, the comforting mood was still there. “Is a girl- a girl being inexperienced…in bed…pathetic?”

He frowned, confused. “No of course not. A lot of people like to wait or don’t want to be with someone who doesn’t care, and that’s okay. It’s not pathetic at all.” Harry had a few drinks that night so he didn’t connect the dots straight away at what Y/n was saying.

“I’ve heard differently.” And she had, her experience with boys was sad.

He frowned before his eyes widened. He was honestly surprised. “Wait, Y/n, is this- is this about you?”

“Please don’t look at me like that, Harry I already feel pathetic enough.” She covered her face with her hands.

He got closer to her. “You are far from pathetic, Lovie.”

“You don’t understand. Anyway, you’ve had loads of sex your Harry Styles for god’s sake!”

“Y/n, define inexperienced,” He sat beside her, knee pressing into hers.

She winced. “I’ve only ever kissed people, ‘never gone further than that. Never even had a boyfriend, you know that.”

Harry smiled, endearingly. She hadn’t changed, he felt like he was back in first year of university when she was complaining about how no guys asked her out. “So?”

“So the reason my date didn’t show up was because I told him I was a virgin yesterday.” It clicked now, the cold wind must have been sobering him up.

“He’s a total wanker. You are not pathetic by any means because of that. And anyway, virginity is a social construct to control and devalue women!” He said, angry at this guy who he’d never even met. It was like when one of the lads on the rugby team made a bet to get in her pants in their second year of university.

He’d never been so angry.

“Really?” She said looking up with a frown.

He grabbed her hand giving it a tight squeeze, the metal of his rings cold against her warm hand.

“Promise! It’s actually attractive in a way—” He was cut off by the door slamming open.

“Hey guys it's one minute till midnight!” Said Penny interrupting their moment, she rushed back inside again to hide from the cold. Motioning for them to join the rest of them inside.

They could both hear the chanting inside. Neither made a move to go inside.

“10! 9! 8!”

Harry looked at Y/n, and she smiled gently at him leaning close to him. He tucked a strand of her hair back behind her ear.

“What happened to your date anyway?” She asked shifting the topic.

He shrugged, to be honest, he didn’t know or care. Y/n had been on his mind the whole damn night. “I think she went home.”

“5! 4! 3!”

“Oh.” She said, looks like they both had no luck this year.

“Can I kiss you?”

That caught her off guard, but she nodded when she heard the cheers for Happy New Year inside, remembering. “For luck, right?”

To be honest he’d forgotten it was New Year’s. When the final count happened he leaned forward and kissed her, it lasted longer than it should have between two friends. But they were too drunk to care.

When they pulled apart fireworks shot off in the sky. They watched in silence still close to each other, warmth radiating. They were in their own little world.

Y/n looked up at him when the fireworks stopped, a special look in her eyes. Mischief and drunkenness.

“Do you want to come over to mine? I’ve moved since the last time you saw me…”

He smirked, a glint in his eye. “Let’s go.”

When they arrived at Y/n’s new flat Harry paid the cabby wishing him a happy new year. She was still wrapped in his leather coat as she waited for him impatiently on the path. She grabbed his hand to guide the way when the taxi drove away. She was on the third floor.

It was this old London apartment. Beautiful and in a really nice area.

“You friends with everyone in the building? I wouldn’t be surprised, you are certainly a charmer.” He jested as they sat in the lift on the way up. Harry knew how she had a habit of chatting with everyone. When they lived together she made the entire floor gingerbread and Christmas cards.

“Oh shut up, you’re the real charmer of us both. Girls scream when they see you walking down the street!” She pulled him inside. Taking off her scarf and boots before turning on one of the lamps. It gave a orange glow to the room.

“You know I don’t mind when girls scream.” He teased.

This made Y/n blush. He noticed and giggled at her pinching her cheek.

“Oh, leave me alone.” She pouted peeling the coat off.

They took their coats off and hung them on the rack. Y/n showed him around the flat quickly. It was a vast improvement from her old place. Her old place was this shoe box, it was also in a really scary area which always worried Harry when they were friends. He helped her move in before he went on his first tour. She couldn’t afford anywhere as nice as this before. She’d kept a lot of her old stuff. It was certainly her place and if someone brought him here and he had to guess who it belonged to, he’d say her.

First, he saw the living room. It had this great big red 70s leather couch with knitted rugs on top and a gorgeous original fireplace. He was surprised to see a photograph of the pair of them on the mantle above it. He walked over, they were probably 15 in the photograph. It was beside a few other old ones.

“Look how cute you look, Love.” He lifted it up and pointed at her face.

She groaned. “Are you serious? Look at my hair there! Was not doing me any favours at all.”

He turned to face her his hand finding her hair. “I’ve always loved your hair.”

Y/n kissed his cheek in response, it was more flirty and sloppy than she had intended. He kissed hers back.

Then there was a moment where they just stared.

Until softly she spoke, “Harry?”

“Yeah, Babe?”

“D’you wanna have sex with me?”

He was startled, his hand was still in her hair thumb on her jaw. “Do you?”

She flinched stepping away. “Sorry, that was stupid of me. But seriously you’re hot and funny, and I trust you more than any other guy, I mean who could be better for this? I’m drunk and your drunk, we can just say it was a one-night stand and carry on being friends, can’t we? Call it a drunken fling? A favour even.”

“Y/n—”

She was rambling now. “Oh no! You think I’m pathetic, don’t you? Begging you for sex? Jesus, what am I thinking? Look, let’s just blame the tequila and go to sle—”

He leaned forward interrupting her with a kiss to shut her up for a second. She froze momentarily until she decided to kiss him back, his hands slid down her dress as he pulled her closer to him. Her hands found his chest and the kiss began to deepen.

Only when Y/n had started to feel lightheaded did he pull away. He tucked a strand of hair behind her ear, his fingers grazing her warm cheeks. “Are you sure you want this?”

Y/n nodded. “Do you want to? Don’t feel pressured, H.”

“Of course I do. You’ve been my wet dream since we were in high school.” She giggled and flung forward pushing him back onto the couch.

“I am?”

Her hands found their way to his jumper and took it off him and he grunted in some form of agreement. She moved from his lips to his neck kissing down the column of it. Sucking on the adam’s apple gently, he sighed as his hands moved to the tops of her thighs. He was totally content right now.

For the first time in a while he was the calm one and she this was raw hungry energy.

“Why haven’t we done this sooner?” He rasped moving her hips against his thigh, she whimpered at the contact. His jean-covered leg had the perfect amount of friction against her thin underwear. She may have been a virgin but that didn’t mean she hadn’t fantasised a lot about this. If anything that only made it worse.

“I don’t- ah- dunno.” She sighed into his ear.

He felt a throb in his pants. It felt like a dream, a filthy one. One he’d probably had before. The number of nights he’d masturbated to something like this was too many to count. Y/n’s tits were at eye level as she humped on his leg needily and he thought he might just cum right then and there.

Her dress was hiked up to her hips and he could see the flash of pink lace, when he leaned forward to kiss her exposed chest he saw the hint of a red bra.

She stopped for a second hands moving from his hair to his chest. “Can I touch you, H?”

“‘Course you can. Be good f’me and touch me.” She slid off him, her clit throbbing at his voice. All deep, rough, and dreamy.

On her knees, she placed a hand on either thigh gently rubbing them. Staring at the large bulge in his pants she grew nervous. The dim lighting of the living room meant it was hard for him to see her entire face but he could see her eyes widen at how large he was.

“You okay there, Lovie?”

She placed her small hand on it, “‘M perfectly fine, Harold.”

His chuckle quickly turned into a choked moan when she palmed him roughly. She looked up at him for approval to keep going. “Yes,” He said, head thrown back on the couch.

She unzipped his jeans revealing black briefs which she’d seen him wander around in when they lived together. He liked to be free of clothes at home. But she had never seen him fully naked before.

She slid her warm hand in there, Harry hissed when she wrapped her hand around his throbbing cock, he felt so sensitive to her touch.

“You sure you want to do this, Angel?” She could feel how much he wanted her. He was throbbing and heavy in her hand. His body was begging for her but spoke softly with no pressure.

“Harry, please, I really want to.” She sighed staring up at him, feeling the weight of him heavy on her hand.

This had to be a dream. He thought. She was literally on her knees begging for his cock in her mouth. Big e/c eyes looking up at his face.

“Needy,” He teased knowing he was probably worse right now. “touch me.”

She didn’t care if she seemed needy the feelings she was having right now were too much, she pulled him out and it sprung up hitting his bare stomach. Her thighs clenched and Harry noticed, smirking.

“Jesus Christ, Harry.” She said in disbelief, hands itching to touch him, “No wonder you always act so cocky,”

He laughed throwing his head back. “You sure you want to keep going?”

“Yes, but can you..” Suddenly she had gotten all shy again, like on the balcony. Embarrassed as if she hadn’t been humping his leg moments ago and whining in his ear for him to make her come.

“Don’t get all shy on me now, baby. Say what’s on your mind.”

“Can you…” She paused again.

“Can I what?”

“Can you show me what to do? Tell me. I mean I want you t’feel good, but I’ll probably be really bad at it. I’ve never done this.”

His hand touched her cheek, thumb stroking her face. “Whatever you do I’m sure I’ll love it, I’ll tell you if I don’t like it. Just try, m’not going to judge. Don’t worry, I’m just your old friend Harry.”

“Just Harry.” She confirmed, easing the anxiety in her stomach a bit.

“Good girl.” He praised gently and she leaned forward kissing the pink tip of cock. He let out a hitched breath.

“You okay?” She asked.

He looked at her confused. “I didn’t ask if this was okay with you. Do you want this?”

“Y/n it’s more than okay.” He replied breathlessly at the sight. “I’m so fuckin’ horny for you right now.” He laughed lightly as if this was a normal thing to do with an old friend. Like it was just a catch-up.

That was all the confirmation she needed before spat on the head and began to stroke him with her hand, the natural lubrication making it easier to go fast. She really only knew stuff from porn. Which was always just intense and messy deepthroating. She wondered if Harry wanted her to be like that. But honestly, she wasn’t sure she could take all of him her mouth. He was just so big.

He was moaning quietly as she kept a steady rhythm. One of his hands was squeezing the couch tightly and the other was holding her free hand that touch his knee. It felt so good.

When she leaned forward and licked a long strip along the length of him, he groaned running a hand through his messy hair. “So good Y/n,”

Y/n loved how vocal he was with her, it eased her worries about being bad. It made her wetter than she could imagine.

When she began to actually suck him he went feral. His hands move into her hair holding it from her face, he had to stop himself from moving his hips up and fucking her mouth. He knew he needed to be gentle right now, but it was feeling too good to believe.

“Jesus Christ, Y/n, you’re too good at that.”

He was moaning every second and every time he let out a particularly pleasured noise Y/n made sure to do it again. Harry opened his eyes and looked down at the sight below him, Y/n’s dainty red-painted hand was stroking the part she couldn’t fit in her mouth and every now and then cupping his balls, her tongue was lapping up every inch of precum that dripped out of him. Kissing his thighs and cock whenever she came up for air. Her red lipstick was smudged and her eyes watering.

Her legs were clenched together and every time he moaned she got wetter for him, she could feel it dripping down her thigh, she was aching to be touched and honestly, this would be something she would masturbate to later.

She was steadily jerking and squeezing him just the right and even amount, as she grinned wickedly up at him.

“You sure you’ve never done this?” He said, whimpering when she licked up another drip of precum.

She laughed. Harry had to say she was better than he thought, not because he thought it would be bad. Simply because most people make the mistake of being too rough and using teeth or being too soft and slow. Y/n was perfect and attentive, she’d learnt in mere minutes how to get him absolutely fucked. He could hardly keep his eyes open.

She began sucking again this time going a bit further, testing her limits. When her nose felt the tickle of hair on his lower navel, she came back up breathing heavily and repeated it a few more times. Harry was moaning even louder now.

“‘M close,” He gestured for her to stop so that he’d finish on his stomach, but she didn’t stop, she went a bit faster. He somehow felt even closer to cumming when she didn’t move, meaning she wanted him to cum in her mouth, just the thought was enough to drive him over the edge. She did a mix of everything she’d been doing and Harry was getting louder and louder each second. It took everything in him not to thrust up and push her head down.

It was the eye contact that got him to finish. She looked up with absolute adoration in her eyes, enjoying her view of his heaving chest, and he couldn’t help himself.

When Y/n felt the hot spurts of his cum fall down her throat, his hips jutted in pleasure. He hadn’t been able to control it. He cried out, “Y/n, fuck!”

When she finally pulled away cum dribbled down her chin and she quickly swiped it on her thumb, holding eye contact as she sucked it. “Mm.” She said.

He felt limp and breathless. “C’mere,” He said and grabbed her. Her knees ached but she didn’t care, knowing they’d be bruised tomorrow. He pulled her onto his lap and kissed her, she was surprised by that. She’d heard from friends that a lot of guys really hated to kiss after a blowjob but Harry had not one single care.

“Your fuckin’ perfect, Y/n.” He said flipping them over as he kissed down her chest. “Can I touch you now, please?”

She nodded.

He stopped looking up, “Words, baby,”

“Yes. Of course, you can.” She said. “Get me out of this please,” She gestured to the dress and he obliged happily, throwing it across the room and nipping at her skin. Kissing every stretch mark, scar and mole. God, she was just perfect.

“You are so beautiful, Y/n. And that mouth,” His thumb touched the bottom lip.

She blushed. “Oh, shoosh.”

“I’ve never cum so hard in my life y’know, I mean it.”

She giggled. “Really?”

“Yes, now accept the compliment and let me help you out.” He almost ordered and she obeyed.

He sucked on her neck, nipping at it as she hissed, he soothed her by swiping his tongue back over that spot. Her hands were scratching his back as he moved down to her lacey undies. A pink bow stared back at him.

He touched the waistband fiddling with the bow. “Cute.”

“Thanks, H.” She replied, trying not to shy away.

“He’s an idiot.” Harry muttered mostly to himself, Y/n frowned confusedly.

Her hand moved from his back to his hair, gently touching him. “What?”

“That wanker who stood y’up, I mean fuckin’ hell, did you do all this for him? Got all sexy n’ wear these jus’ f’him do that ta’ ya’?” His words were slurring more, he was so drunk on her and tired from his orgasm.

She sighed, “It’s for you,” she whispered. If the flat wasn’t dead silent he might’ve missed it.

“Say that again.”

She looked down at him. “I- It’s stupid, Harry, forget it.”

He moved away from her soaking underwear. “No, tell me.”

She shut her eyes, knowing how stubborn he was, and that didn’t change even in the bedroom. “I did it for you. It’s always for you.”

“All this for lil’ ol’ me?” He teased her loving how shy she got even after what she’d just done to him. “Beginnin’ to think you only want to fuck me.” He bit the waistband of her underwear and she couldn’t take it anymore.

He knew that wasn’t true but he loved to see her roll her eyes.

She whined, “Harry, please.”

“Please what?” He looked up at her. His green eyes were mostly just pupil now.

She tugged his hair, “I need you to do something, please, just help me,”

“Shh, Love, I know.” He took the underwear off and saw the mess between her legs. Another thing he’d be jerking off to later, her inner thighs were soaked and she was dripping. His middle finger slid up the lips collecting the messy slick.

“For me?”

She sighed, with a shiver. “Only you.”

He began to rub her clit at that comment, feeling her throb against him. She was whimpering and moaning softly and it was just how he imagined but even better. Her hands tugged his brown locks and he moved a hand to her mouth. Holding up two fingers, ring and middle, against her lips.

“Suck please.” He said softly. He didn’t think they’d need it considering there was a damp spot underneath her already, he just liked to watch her do it.

When they were wet enough he pulled them back out and slid one inside her dripping hole. She cried out,

“Shit.”

He pumped slowly, letting her grow used to the sting. “Yours are so much bigger than mine.” She whined desperately.

He began to pick up the pace when her hips moved against his hand and slowly added the second finger when he felt she was ready. When she began to squirm from the pleasure he used his other hand to hold her hips flat and he kissed her stomach every now and then.

Offering words of encouragement. “Yes, that’s it, you can take it.”

When she began to grow closer he could tell by the way she clenched around his fingers.

She whimpered when he gave a rough circle on her clit. “Fuck me Harry, feels so good.”

He started to go deeper and harder, feeling her drip onto him. “So perfect like this. Takin' m' fingers.”

He was taking mental pictures so he would never forget her face. All fucked out and filled with pleasure. When he curled his fingers inside her, grazing that spongey spot that made her scream and curl her toes, she moved a hand to his wrist not stopping him just in a warning.

“M’ close, H.”

He smirked. “Cum for me, Baby.” His other hand found her clit and sped up the process. It was seconds later that she felt it come on, a wave washing over her entire body.

“Fuck! I’m coming!” She cried body twitching and squirming wildly as he helped her through it.

“Harry!” She screamed, and he felt her squirt all over his hand as she finished.

Once he finished helping her ride it out he stopped, slowly pulling his hand away and looking up at her. Her eyes were shut and she looked completely ruined. He was happy with that, it meant he’d done his job.

“You okay?”

She opened her eyes. “I didn’t know I could ever feel that good.” She said seriously and he smiled.

“Was m’pleasure, Love.”

When she sat up, she noticed how wet his hand was and the dampness beneath before her eyes widened in embarrassment. “Oh, I’m sorry that’s embarrassing I didn’t mean to—”

“Embarrassing? Please Y/n I nearly came my pants. You’re so fucking hot. Look at you. Delicious.”

She kissed him pulling him close too shy to say anything more.

“Do you want to stay the night?” She asked when she pulled away. He nodded and they, still kind of drunk, made their way to her bed stripping off the rest of their clothes and flopping into bed.

He grabbed her and pulled her into his chest. “Happy New Year, Babe.”

“Happy New year.”

The following morning Y/n woke up alone in her bed. Her head thumped angrily punishing her for last night. She began to wonder if it was all a drunken fever dream but when she got up to wash her face she saw the hickey he’d left her on her neck, and she saw that the bathroom was slightly damp, meaning he’d had a shower before leaving.

She tried not to feel hurt at him leaving without a goodbye but she did remember saying last night that it would be just a one-time thing as friends. She didn’t know what she expected really. She had a quick shower washing the night off, she was sticky and smelt of sex.

When she got out she wandered into her kitchen in just a towel sluggishly, bent over to see the contents of her fridge all she had was off milk and a leftover Chinese takeaway container. She was hungry. She sighed, knowing she’d have to go out and buy food. When she turned she jumped letting out a small shout.

Harry was sitting at the table with some coffee and pastries, he’d scared the shit out of her.

“Jesus! How long were you there?”

“The whole time, waited for you to notice me. I got us some food and coffee, didn’t want to wake you. You looked so peaceful.”

She suddenly felt subconscious in just this small towel, in the daylight. Her eye bags were probably heavy and she doubted she looked pretty. He noticed her squirm.

“I hope you don’t mind that I used your shower.”

She shook her head memories flooding back from last night. She felt embarrassed. “‘Course not.”

“I’m gonna change I’ll be right back.” Before he could say anything else she’d left.

When she came back in a knitted jumper and some red boxer shorts she’d bought for sleep, he smiled up at her. “I got your favourite, well, I hope it’s still your favourite anyway.”

He’d even gone to the effort to put it on a little china plate. It was a custard danish pastry. She smiled butterflies flooding her tummy, she placed her hand there without noticing before she turned to him.

“You didn’t have to do all this, H. I know that it was just a drunken thing we did. You don’t have to be so nice to me. I understand how these things go.”

She remembered the times she’d have to pretend Harry was out when all he’d done is hide in her room until the girls from the night before left their flat.

He looked up, slightly hurt by that. Did she really think that of him? “You’re my oldest friend, I wouldn’t do that.”

She frowned before sitting beside him and grabbing the coffee he’d brought. “Things won’t change, right? We are still Y/n and Harry, aren’t we?��

He placed a hand on her thigh. “Of course, always, bun.”

She smiled up at him taking a bite of her pastry, some custard falling down her chin. Harry got a flash of last night of her moaning his name and he wondered if what he said was true. Would he be able to move on from this?

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crazyunsexycool · 5 months

Text

Between the pages of a journal

Pairing: Stucky x 40s!Reader

Summary: You had been in a relationship with Steve and Bucky up until the time they went off to war only to lose them both. Years later when Steve and Bucky have reunited the receive the letters and journals you had written. Through them they learn about your life without them.

word count: 6.0k

Warnings: character death, the blip/snap, implied domestic violence, major angst, some fluff... let me know if I forgot something.

A/N: Not really sure how I feel about the ending but over all I loved writing this and I hope you like it too.

Steve stood with a bouquet of your favorite flowers in his hands as he looked down at the slightly dirty headstone. One that sat towards the back of the small cemetery with your name on it. His fingers trace over your name after placing the flowers down. The date of your death mocks him. It was the day he woke up. The day that he had come back to life was the day yours had ended. In fact the difference had only been a few hours from the time that you closed your eyes for the last time and the time he opened his.

On good days Steve was grateful for that. You didn’t have to watch him walk back into your life looking as he did all those years ago while you were stuck in a bed, withering away. Wishing you had been able to live the life they had both promised you. On bad days he hated he didn’t get to say goodbye. But he had already been through the process of seeing someone he loved die when Bucky fell off the train. He wasn’t sure he would be able to do that with you. It had been you who begged him not to go. The fear in your eyes when Bucky got his orders still haunts him and it doubled when he told you he had been accepted. Now all that Steve has is the headstone with your name on it to grieve for both of his greatest loves. And he did it often.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Hope.

Something Steve hadn’t felt in a long time. It bloomed in his chest the longer he looked at his long lost love. But just as quickly it faded.

“Bucky?” Steve stood in the middle of the street. Chaos erupting all around as he looked at the brunette with confusion and concern.

“Who the hell is Bucky?”

Just as quickly as he was there, Bucky was gone. Steve tried to look for him but there was no use. He had been arrested along with Nat and Sam.

If there was one single word to describe Steve Rogers at the moment it would be determined. As much as it hurt that his oldest friend and lover didn’t recognize him. Steve knew he had to save Bucky. If not for him than for you. It was one of the promises he made to you the morning he left. He would keep Bucky safe and they would come back home to you. At least now he could keep half of the promise.

The next time Steve would see Bucky it would be in a helicarrier. Blow by blow Steve tried to remind Bucky of who he was, what they meant to each other. In the end Bucky walked away after saving Steve. Still it was better knowing he was out and free than knowing that he was still under hydra’s control.

It would take some time but eventually Steve would find Bucky once again. With time and help, Bucky was free of hydra’s control and they slowly rebuilt their relationship. Soon Bucky began to remember you as well.

Now Steve didn’t feel so lost or so alone. The ache of loss was still there but it was made easier when he was able to turn in bed and find Bucky asleep next to him.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

There were many things Bucky and Steve needed to adjust to in the modern times they were now living in. Being able to love each other without fear of being persecuted was a liberating experience. So they found themselves walking hand in hand on a beautiful Saturday afternoon through a small park in Brooklyn. The same park that the three of you frequented when you didn’t have anywhere else to go.

You always packed a picnic and your journal, Bucky always had a new book to read out loud and Steve always had his sketchbook and pencils. There was one specific tree the three of you preferred to sit under. It was close to a small pond with the best shade and it was surrounded by bushes which afforded you the privacy the three of you craved.

While to the outside world it looked like you were being chaperoned by Steve while on a date with Bucky, the reality was that you were dating them both. This little corner of the park allowed the three of you to be free to love, touch and kiss each other as you wished.

It was this tree that provided cover for the three of you so long ago that Steve and Bucky came to look for now. Where Bucky carved your initials in the trunk within a heart. They hoped the tree was still there and they were gladly surprised that it was, initials included. The only difference though was the fact that there was a wrought iron bench in the once cleared space. Steve and Bucky make their way over.

“Y/N, would have loved to have a bench here.” Steve commented as he sat down.

Bucky hummed in agreement as he inspected the small plaque screwed into the armrest.

“Steve, look at this.”

The blond leans over to look at the inscription. His breath catches in his throat.

‘Til the end of the line.

A couple of tears hit the small plaque. Steve’s chin rests on Bucky’s shoulder and his arm wraps around the latter’s waist. They both just take a moment to look at it and appreciate that you had taken time and money to have this placed here in their honor. It felt like fate mocked them now that it was them that used this bench to remember you. For the remainder of their time in that park Steve and Bucky talk about their past, especially about you.

“Remember when she chased Tommy Phillips down the street with a broom?” Steve chuckled but it took Bucky a moment before he smiled.

“He kept following her home, right? Always tried to ask her out whenever we weren’t there to walk with her.”

“She ran right by me and only stopped because that cop was on the corner.”

Their smiles fade after a moment.

“I wish she were here. She would definitely love all this shit.” Bucky said as he waved his hand around vaguely.

Steve moved closer and gave Bucky a quick chaste kiss on the cheek before resting his head on Bucky’s shoulder. The blond took a deep breath before looking up at his love through his lashes.

“It’s rude to stare.”

“Well it’s not my fault you’re handsome.” Steve’s compliment makes Bucky blush.

“There’s something I want to talk to you about.”

“What is it?”

“I think it’s time we go see her. I know she’ll want to see you.”

Bucky looked up at him with a pained expression.

“What if she hates me?”

“She would never. She’s called me everyday since she heard you were alive.”

“Ok, we’ll go.”

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

“Are you sure I look ok?” Bucky asked as the couple stood in front of a door waiting for someone to answer their knocks.

“You look great baby, and trust me she’ll just be happy to see you.”

Steve had cupped Bucky’s face with his hands and leaned in to give him a kiss.

“What the fuck is going on here?”

They parted at the voice.

“Hey, watch your mouth.”

“I can say the same about you James.”

A staring contest happened until Bucky looked down.

“I’ve missed you, Becca.” Bucky said as he looked at his younger yet older sister. She was shorter and her hair was fully gray. The wrinkles were evidence of the time that had passed but the mischievous glint in her eyes told a different story.

She opened her arms and her brother gladly accepted the embrace.

It had been a shock to Bucky to learn that he had one living relative. Well one living sister, he of course knew of the kids all three of his sisters had but he couldn’t seek them out. Mostly for safety but truly he kept his distance because of his guilt. Who would want someone like him in their family?

When they finally pull away from each other in a hug that felt that lasted years and seconds at the same time, Becca cupped Bucky’s cheek softly. Her thumb moved back and forth on his cheek as he leaned into her touch. This time her eyes were full of tears and relief.

“I’ve missed you too. Now come in, we have so much to talk about.” She had grabbed Bucky’s hand like she did when she was younger and they had to cross the street.

They made their way into Becca’s cozy living room and sat down. Steve took the armchair while Bucky and Becca sat together on the couch. The latter started telling both of them everything they missed after they had disappeared, from meeting her late husband to her children and grandchildren. There were tears and laughs exchanged.

“I think we should head out Becs. But I’ll come by again soon.” Bucky promised as they all got up and headed towards the door.

“You’re both welcome anytime.”

They stop at the door, Bucky and then Steve hug Becca. Before the door is opened Becca speaks up again.

“Oh I can’t believe I almost forgot. I have something for you.” Becca shuffled along into the hallway and opened a door to a closet. “I’ll need your help Buck.”

He walks up behind her and she points towards two boxes high up on a shelf. Bucky pulls the first one down and hands it over to Steve before grabbing the second one.

“What’s in here?” Steve asks, his curiosity piqued.

“Letters and journals. They all belonged to Y/N. She wrote the letters whenever she missed you and you know she wrote in her journals all the time.”

Bucky and Steve looked at each other and then back at Becca.

“Why did you keep them?”

“Because she asked me too. The day she passed, I was with her and she asked me if I could hold on to them. Maybe someone would want to know about the love she had for both of you. It broke my heart when it was announced you were back.” She turned to Steve. “She would have loved to see you one last time.”

“What happened to her?”

“I’m surprised you didn’t ask earlier.”

“We never stop thinking about her but it hurts to know she isn’t here anymore.” Steve says with a sad smile.

“When we were informed that you were both gone she was a wreck. Ma forced her to move in with us so that we could be there for her. She would stay up in your room for hours just writing. We could hear Y/N crying for hours on end. This was just her way of coping.”

Both men thanked her again and they were gone. On their way to their shared apartment in Brooklyn they didn’t really talk, each of them holding a box under their arm. It was heavier than anything they’ve carried in the past. It was all that was left of you.

They didn’t know it yet but their heart would break with every single letter or entry of your journal they read.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

March 10th, 1945

My love,

I received your letter last night. I’m so sorry you had to go through that alone. You know Bucky wouldn’t blame you, and neither do I. But please, if not for yourself than for me, take care of yourself. I don’t care that you have that serum, don't do anything reckless. We’ve already lost Bucky, I don’t know if I’d be able to live knowing I lost you too.

I know you think the Barnes’ hate you but they don’t, they’re just as worried about you as they were about their son. They know how much we love Bucky and they can’t wait for you to come back home.

I love you so much. I can’t wait to see you again.

Love,

Y/N

P.S. I’m with you til the end of the line.

Steve tried and failed to swallow the lump in his throat, the tears won as they slowly trailed down his cheek and onto the aged paper. It was a response to the letter he had sent you, telling you about Bucky’s death. He felt so much guilt then, still did from time to time. Once Bucky was free of hydra’s hold he reassured Steve he wasn’t to blame.

Steve was sure you’d blame him too. But the return to sender stamp with the date on the envelope the letter had gotten to him too late. It was just a day after he had crashed the plane into the ocean. Now decades later you gave him peace. Somehow he felt that it wasn’t fair.

That night Bucky held Steve close. Placing soft kisses on his cheek and whispering sweet nothings in his ear.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Normally when they didn’t have missions or early training both men loved to stay in bed, pretend the time they were living in wasn’t real, that you’d walk in through the door at any moment and take your place in between them. That your lips would search for theirs and your hands would roam their bodies as gently but demanding as they did before.

This time when Steve woke up the spot next to him was empty. He got up and walked toward the living room, the closer he got the more he could hear small sobs and sniffles. When he rounded the corner he found Bucky sitting in the middle of the room. Letters and journals sat open around him. Bucky was currently reading a journal and when he heard Steve’s footsteps he looked up. His eyes were rimmed red, it was obvious he had been there a while.

“What are you reading?”

“Nothing.” Bucky held the notebook close to his chest.

“If it’s nothing then I should be able to read it too.”

Bucky shook his head as his grip on the journal tightened. He averted his eyes when Steve sat beside him and held his hand out. Reluctantly the brunette moved to hand the notebook over but stopped.

“You have to remember she was grieving when she wrote it.”

May 3rd, 1945

What did I do to deserve this? We were supposed to be planning the rest of our lives. Now I have to plan two funerals. The only thing in those matching empty coffins was my heart.

What am I supposed to do now? Everything I had planned was with Steve and Bucky.

I hate not knowing what comes next and I hate them for making me love them. How could they do this to me? How could they leave me alone?

Steve put the journal down and sighed. He remembers going to the cemetery and finding the headstone that was being removed with his name on it, the one to his left was Bucky’s. He’d never allowed himself to put too much thought into what that must have been like for you. Mostly because he would break his own heart thinking about you mourning them alone. He knew it wasn’t fair and there was nothing that he could do to make it right.

After that day they became obsessed with your writing. There were years worth of it but they decided to pace themselves. Instead of sitting down and reading for hours they instead decided to read one letter and one journal entry a day.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

July 4th, 1945

Dear Stevie,

Happy birthday my Love. I miss you so much but I find some comfort in knowing that at least you and Bucky are together somewhere, hopefully looking down on me. I went to the park today for the first time since you both went off to war. It’s not the same without you here but it was a beautiful day, you would have liked it.

I signed up for an art class and it went as well as you would expect. Everything at my station, except the canvas had paint on it. Even my dress. But I think you’d be proud that I went for it. The little painting I managed to make is hanging up in the living room next to yours. If only we had convinced Bucky to paint something I would have a perfect set.

I’ll never stop loving either of you.

Y/N

P.S. I’m with you til the end of the line.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Through missions and long days of training recruits, both men carried some of your writing with them. As time went by they noticed your shift from grieving to trying to survive. It was a journey for them reading your struggles in your everyday life. Steve and Bucky would be lying if they said they didn’t have a favorite letter or journal entry. There were some that reminded them of the happy young woman they had fallen for. Those were the ones they carried with them.

****

Bucky had been through a difficult mission. He had been confronted by his past again and he was putting his walls up as he sat away from the rest of the team on the jet. Some of the others tried to talk to him but he just kept quiet and his eyes fixated on the wall ahead of him. Sam quietly walked up to him and placed an envelope on the seat next to him and walked away. That caught Bucky’s attention and he turned to see his name in your handwriting. He picked it up and opened the envelope as carefully as he could until he was able to retrieve the piece of paper out.

August 25th, 1946

Dear Jamie,

I took the girls to Coney Island today. I know they wished you could have been here with us. Becca and Elizabeth finally convinced Mary to get on the cyclone. It reminded me of when you made Stevie go on and he threw up afterward.

They had a great time. Maybe next time I’ll try to win something for them at one of those game booths but I’m not as good at them as you.

It was nice to be with them. They’ve grown so much in such a short time. You’d be so proud at how well they’re doing. Elizabeth has started reading all of your books and Mary is starting to like science more. But Becca looks the most like you and she’s taking the role of protective big sister very seriously (wonder where she got that from?). I promise to keep an eye on them since they like getting into trouble from time to time.

I love you so much,

Y/N

P.S. I’m with you til the end of the line.

Bucky smiled as he imagined poor little Mary on the Cyclone. Then his smile got slightly bigger as he recalled the day you had mentioned. You had been so mad at him for making Steve get on. But it didn’t take much to get on your good side again.

Bucky finally looked back up, his eyes meeting Sam’s. He nodded in a silent thanks to his teammate.

It was no secret amongst the Avengers that both men had been in love and dated the same woman at the same time. No one really said anything, except the occasional joke from Tony. Sam and Nat took it upon themselves to ask them questions about you, especially when they seemed to be having a hard time at work. At the mention of your name they could see how the super soldier’s demeanor would instantly change.

Their shoulders would drop, a small smile would appear on their lips but it was the sense of longing Nat and Sam saw in their eyes that really let them know you meant more to them than being just some girl from their past.

~~~~~~~~

They had been more than halfway through your journals and letters when they finally found another interesting entry. There was both a sense of relief and a bit of jealousy as they read it.

June 18th, 1950

I’ve met someone. I’m still not sure how I feel about it but he asked me out on a date. Johnny Richards is his name and he seems kind. Becca has tried to make me say yes that Bucky would want me to move on but I’m not so sure he would, ha! He’d probably pout and cross his arms over his chest and give me his puppy dog eyes to convince me to not go out with him.

Steve looked up to find Bucky sitting exactly how you had described him and he smiled.

I think I’m going to say yes though. He’ll never be Steve or Bucky but I think I deserve to find some type of happiness. We’ll just have to see how the first date goes.

They read the rest of that journal quickly. Your entries talked about how your dates with Johnny were going but mostly they compared him to them. Steve and Bucky weren’t even sure you realized that you were even doing it. With everything Johnny would do for you, you would write down how Steve and Bucky would have done it instead. They found it odd however that the journal was left incomplete. It prompted them to start looking through both boxes again only to come up empty handed. The one thing they did realize was that journal entries picked up in a new notebook with the year 1952.

“That’s almost two years missing.” Bucky finally said after rechecking everything. A sinking feeling in his chest the longer they searched only to find nothing.

“We can ask Becca tomorrow. We should get some rest.”

~~~~~~~~~~

The next morning both men head over to Becca’s home hoping to get some answers. However when she opens the door she isn’t surprised to see them. She dreaded the conversation she was going to have with them but she still ushered Steve and Bucky into her living room.

“What happened to Y/N between mid 1950 and 1952?” Bucky asked, not bothering to sit down. He feared he already knew the answer.

Becca sighed as she reached into the pocket of her robe and produced another letter. She held it out for Bucky to grab. “You should sit.” Is all she said.

December 24th, 1951

Mr. Barnes

Please help me. He keeps hurting me and I don’t think I’ll survive the next time.

Y/N

The writing was sloppy and in the corner there was a faded brown spot. Through tear filled eyes Bucky looked at it closer.

“Is this blood? Becca, is this her blood?” He looked up at his sister with rage and a pain in his chest nothing would ever be able to get rid of.

Bucky and Steve had sacrificed their life only for them to find out that their girl had been hurt and they weren’t there to protect her. They hated themselves. Steve more than Bucky because Bucky had been drafted, he didn’t have much of a choice but Steve? Steve had done everything he could to get into the army. He left you alone and for what?

“When daddy read that letter he was enraged. Called up some old army buddies and they handled it. But Y/N, she was broken in more ways than one. When they got to the house he had beaten her so badly she could barely move. She was in the hospital throughout the new year. When she was released we brought her home again. Then she never left. Y/N took care of Ma and daddy ‘til the day they died.”

Steve was fully sobbing now. No matter what he would have done, one of the people he loved would end up hurt. If he hadn’t signed up for the experiment with Erskine, you wouldn’t have been hurt like this but Bucky would still be in with hydra.

“You can’t blame yourselves.” Becca sighs. “If she could see you now, see that you’re alive and together, that you saved Bucky from those monsters she would be so happy.”

“She suffered the rest of her life because of us. Was she ever truly happy after this?”

Becca looked away from her brother with a small frown on her face. That was all the confirmation they needed to know that you had never found happiness again. They left without another word to Becca or each other.

~~~~~~~~~~~

Steve and Bucky didn’t speak for a while. Anger rolled off of them in droves. The issue was that neither of them knew who that anger was directed at. Was it at themselves or each other? The war, the draft, the serum, or the son of a bitch who dared put his hands on you.

Their relationship suffered, missions almost failed, they were more reckless than usual and it went on like that for weeks. There was no lecture from anyone on the team that could make them see that what they were doing would get them or their teammates killed.

Steve and Bucky had one moment. A single moment when they realized that they weren’t to blame. They apologized and forgave each other for being cold and distant. It’s not what you would have wanted. Just as they were getting back on track Thanos happened and Steve lost Bucky all over again.

~~~~~~~~~~

5 years later

The team had one chance and they took it. They defeated Thanos. Now Steve has another. He checks himself over again and smoothes out his hair. The day was beautiful just how you said in your letter. Everyone was already celebrating the 4th of July. But as Steve stepped out of the alleyway all he could think about was the conversation he’d he’d with Bucky before he left on his mission to return the stones.

“Don’t do anything stupid until I come back.” Steve said with a smirk.

“How can I? You’re taking all the stupid with you.” Bucky replied as he brought Steve in for a hug.

Steve pulls back slightly only to connect his lips with Bucky’s.

“Make sure you find her and make her happy. Don’t worry about me, I’ll be alright.”

“Don’t worry Buck. Everything will be alright.” Steve smiles before heading up to the platform.

“I love you.”

“I love you too, Bucky.” With that final word Steve disappears.

Now here he was just a block away from the park he’d frequented when you were all together. All of the stones were back in place all he needed to do was find you. And that he did. You were sitting on the bench here and Bucky frequented. All of your attention was on the letter you were writing. Steve could recite it from memory now.

He took a moment to admire your form. You were wearing his favorite dress. The one he bought for your birthday right before he left for the war. Your hair was pinned back the way you loved. Steve smiled, you were more beautiful than he remembered. He finally gathered the courage to step up to you and hoped that this would go well.

“Is this seat taken?”

“Yes it is.” You respond without even looking up.

“Are you sure I can’t have a seat kitten?”

Your head snapped up in the direction of the intruder. His voice had been familiar to you but it couldn’t be who you thought it was. His eyes were so familiar to you but it wasn’t possible because the owner of those beautiful ocean blue eyes had died. Still the sense of familiarity made the ache in your chest lessen and the same of your lover slip from your lips.

“Steve?”

“Hi sweetheart.” He said as he sat down next to you.

With hesitant movement you brought your hand up to his cheek. Steve closed his eyes and leaned into your touch.

“Am I dead?”

The question made Steve chuckle. “You’re not dead, kitten, I’m really here.”

The answer made you start to sob uncontrollably and your tears made Steve tear up. He pulls you into a hug and tries to soothe you as best as he can. After some time you finally pull away and look at him. Steve kisses your forehead, then your cheeks and finally presses a long awaited sweet kiss to your lips.

“How is this possible?” You say in between hiccuped breaths. “You died. You-your friend Howard, he showed up and told me everything.”

Steve takes a deep breath and explains everything from waking up in the future to traveling back in time only leaving out the part about Bucky.

“So are you staying?” You look up at him through your still wet lashes.

“I can’t stay-“

You pulled away from him and stood up. Heartbreak and anger rolled through you.

“Why would you come to see me if you’re leaving again? This is so cruel. Do you know how much I’ve cried for you? Since the moment you left to become a lab rat. It wasn’t fair then and it’s not fair now.”

“Hey,” Steve stands and cups your face. “I would never leave you again. I came to get you, if you’d like to come with me.” He pulls out a watch from his pocket.

“What about the Barnes family? I can’t just leave them too.”

“I think they’d be happier knowing you’re with me and Bucky.”

A small gasp escapes your lips as you look from the watch to Steve who’s smiling.

“Bucky? How is that possible?”

“It’s his story to tell.”

“He’s not dead?”

“Nope. He does think that I left him to stay here with you though. But I think we deserve to be together again. So what do you say?”

~~~~~~~~~~~~

The platform comes to life again a minute after Steve had left. To Bucky’s surprise and slight disappointment Nat appears. He disguises his heartbreak behind a smile as Nat walks down and hugs Sam and then him.

“Glad to have you back.” He whispers into her ear.

“Glad to be back.”

“Come on, I’ll buy you a beer and tell you everything you missed.”

“Buck, aren't you going to wait for Steve to come back?” Sam stopped him.

“Nah, I’m going to grab a drink with a friend. You can come if you want.”

“You’re a jerk, you know that?”

“So I’ve been told. Now let’s go.”

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Bucky got home late. He had been trying to avoid the emptiness. Not only in the home he used to share with Steve but the empty feeling in his chest. It was the punishment he deserved or so Bucky thought. To live the rest of his life alone with only the thought of your and Steve’s happiness. He could make due with that.

Bucky sets his keys in the bowl by the door and takes off his jacket. His thoughts were elsewhere so he didn’t immediately pick up on the fact that he wasn’t alone. Still, he was quick and he pulled the gun he always had on him out.

“You can put the gun down, Buck.” Steve stepped out from the darkened office door. The streetlights filtering through the windows provide the only source of light.

“Steve? What are you doing back?”

“Did you really think I’d leave you alone?”

“But what about Y/N?”

“She agreed with me.” Steve smirks.

“What are you-“ Bucky’s words die on his as you step out from behind Steve. “Y/N.” He said your name as if it was the most precious thing in the world.

Bucky’s steps were slow and heavy, as if the world itself sat on his shoulders. You met him halfway way with arms wide open. Bucky fell at your feet, his arms settling around your hips and his head resting against your stomach.

“Oh honey.” Your body shook as Bucky cried against you. All you could do was run your fingers through his hair. “It’s ok. We’re together again baby.”

You managed to get on the floor with Bucky and cup his face and press multiple kisses over his face.

“I missed you, doll.” Bucky says between kisses. It’s frantic and uncoordinated and desperate.

Steve joins you both on the floor wrapping his arms around each of you. There are more shared kisses amongst the three of you. Someone eventually gets up and pulls the other two along with them. The first night the three of you stay awake just talking and catching up. You tell them things that aren’t in your journals and they tell you about living in the present. Reluctantly Bucky tells you part of what happened with hydra. You can see the guilt in his eyes and all you can do is comfort him.

The sun is barely starting to rise when the three of you finally fall asleep in each other's arms.

~~~~~~~~~~~~

When you did wake up you were disoriented by the room you were in until you remembered where you were. The bed was empty but even back in the past both boys were early risers. You fixed your hair and changed before walking out to find Steve and Bucky. As you neared the living room you heard more than two voices talking animatedly.

“You still haven’t told us what took you so long.” A man said as you got closer.

Steve opens his mouth to answer but his whole face lights up when you turn the corner and stand at the entrance of the living room. The reaction caused Steve’s friends to turn around and look at you.

“I was picking someone up.” Steve says.

“Please tell me you’re Y/N.” The woman had asked and you smiled and nodded.

“Y/N, this is Nat and Sam.”

“I have so many questions. Especially about Bucky.” Sam said as he stood up.

Before he could even stretch his hand out to greet you properly Bucky came up from behind you and wrapped an arm around your waist and glared at Sam. He had flowers in his hand which he presented to you.

“Thank you honey.” You kissed his cheek before turning back to Sam.

“Let me put these in water and I’ll answer all your questions.”

Bucky groans as Sam gives him a shot eating grin. You chuckle and when you come back you move to sit down. Eventually Steve and Bucky sit on either of you as Sam and Nat ask you about what they were like back in the day.

With time this would become a routine until you met everyone on the team, including Howard’s son. They had questions and you had the answers. You were sure to include all kinds of stories, especially the embarrassing ones.

It hadn’t gone unnoticed how much more relaxed and happy Steve and Bucky had been. Bucky smiled more and was more open with others. Steve had handed over his shield to Sam and was starting to enjoy his free time. Bucky was still required to go on missions but it was ok. Whenever he came back from a mission you and Steve doted on Bucky. From having his favorite movie on or playing his favorite songs and dancing in the living room to cleaning him up and cuddling in bed. Life in modern times wasn’t always easy for you but fortunately Bucky and Steve were always there to help you.

You still wrote in your journal and on occasion letters for your loves for them to find. The entries were vastly different from what Steve and Bucky had first read. Your journals remained an ode to the love you had which transcended decades and heartbreaks and loss. Now they reflect your joy, love, hope and happiness. The love you had for each other grew with each passing day and you were able to build the home the three of you always dreamed of.

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@almosttoopizza

@littleseasiren

@pono-pura-vida

@talesofadragon

@midnightramyeoncravings

@bunnygirlwriter876

@pandaxnieenke

@kandis-mom

@hisredheadedgoddess28

@braveclementine

#bucky barnes x reader #bucky barnes #bucky x reader #steve rogers #steve rogers x reader #Steve Rogers x reader x Bucky Barnes #Stucky x reader #stucky one shot #stucky fanfiction #stucky fic #Steve Rogers x Bucky Barnes #40s!reader

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brights-place · 4 months

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Dating John Dory/JD

- Dating John Dory has it's pros and cons

- He shows off AND I KNOW IT!

- I EVEN BET that john dory may act all tough but with you he melts into your hands like an puddle.

-He was forced to grow up pretty quick when he was younger it's shown

- He was the oldest of five and it didn't seem like any of them had parents to fall back during their childhood they only had their grandma

- When he saw you at the wedding when getting branch back to save floyd he was shocked how protective you were with branch

- Turns out you protected and technically 'Adopted' branch while his brothers walked out on him.

- He for some reason hated the fact you glared at him in disgust and annoyance after 20 years of leaving branch alone

- He hated how when you joined to protect poppy and branch you snarled at him with annoyance before entering rhonda

- He can't help but steal occasional glances at you when the others talk and plan

- JD would be in shock on how your confidence fills the room and how easily you could lead and explain situations and listen to branch is plans

- When saving Floyd and getting everybody together you felt pity for him and you two had an small moment together when you took an break on the road.

- The fact that you placed an hand on his shoulder and asked him if he wanted to talk about how he felt that his brothers ignored him

- he opened up about it and you couldn't help but be shocked but the moment you hugged him fully. He melted and felt calm

- he asked you how you were able to be confident and you just said "I'm not confident but I step up when it's needed... It's better to hear about everyone opinions and choices sometimes" You told him which made him feel shocked

- When all of the brothers reunited you literally watched how they all fought and how it unfolded the arguing and how branch stared in fear as you quickly rushed to his side and tried to soothe him but failed.

- John dory literally felt heartbroken when you gave him and his brothers the biggest stink eye.

- when reuniting he apologised to you and asked for an re-start to become friends

- The aftermath of saving floyd from velvet and veneer it was different...

- You offered to help john dory out with his leadership skills and when he was stressed you gave him an shoulder to lean on if needed.

- When its not about that he tries to strike conversations with you randomly and it's so awkward for him...

- for you its also awkward but you just shrug it off

- he tries to flirt with you... leans against the wall and pulls out his boy band rizz.

- it made you laugh not an evil witch laugh. It was an sweet one which caught his attention so fast and how you pointed out how he acted and how cute and funny it was made him blush

- He finds comfort in being in charge sometimes but it gives him pressure thats when you come in and take control of the situations

- When he smiles he always notices your goofy giggle and grin. "Oh! Thanks Man! that's so cool! :]" cue your giggles

- He smiles like that more often and enjoys how you react.

- You two end up becoming REAL CLOSE

- Hangout after his concerts and spend time with him and rhonda Rhonda favors you more

- He loves how you and rhonda are so close

- You two end up on going on a couple of dates without knowing they where considered dates

- he confessed first when you and him where cloud watching randomly both of you where flustered messes.

- Definitely starts to try find wherever you are after he's had a bad day or had been in his head too long

- Dancing together to brozones songs or to songs that you both enjoy.

- he calls you randomly when your mid-conversation with someone and complains to you about how much he misses you

- he loves when you praise him

- He fell first and YOU fell even harder then him

- You started to hangout after his shows

- likes to think he's the dominant one in the relationship... yeahhh no....

- One call of you saying his name or you just walk past he is following behind like an love sick puppy.

- you walk past he's dropping everything and tries to flex his muscles...

- You laugh alot because of it He thinks because you find him hot... It's acutally the face he makes when trying to flex he looks so focused its cute

- TOUCH-STARVED! HE IS TOUCHED STARVE! GIVE HIM HIS AFFECTION! He's love struck when you pepper his face with kisses

- He explores alot so he'd invite you to come with him exploring you both still visit Branch and the others but you both enjoying exploring together for fun

- There was more I was gonna type but it all won’t fit into one whole page and it would go on and onnn

#fluff #headcannons #x reader #fanfic #headcanon #headcanons #john dory trolls band together #john dory trolls #john dory x reader #john dory #trolls 3 movie #trolls band together #trolls #trolls x reader #trolls 3 #enjoy

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rowdyslove · 8 months

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𝐖𝐎𝐑𝐓𝐇 𝐀𝐍𝐎𝐓𝐇𝐄𝐑 𝐓𝐑𝐘. | quinn hughes

꒰ pairing: quinn hughes x genderneutral!reader

꒰ genre: angst + fluff ;exes!au, exes to lovers trope | short oneshot

꒰ synopsis: after four years, going back to the hughes lake house for the summer brings back many emotions & memories from the past—especially the memories of you and your ex-boyfriend.

꒰ word count: 2.4k

꒰ author’s note: i just love the idea of ex lovers reuniting and giving each other a second chance :((( i think it’s so sweet, so this one i’m kind of very proud of :D

the time was around 3:00am, and as no surprise to you, you couldn’t sleep at all.

maybe it could have been because of the immense amount of happiness you were feeling due to it being your first night back at the hughes lake house for the summer with all your best friends.

this day had been your first day back with everyone since the incident that occured with one particular boy from the group four years ago.

and you thought you would’ve been completely fine, spending the whole summer back here just like you used to. everything should’ve been okay—except for the fact that the particular boy from four years ago, being the oldest of the hughes brothers, was now your ex-boyfriend and was very present in the house.

you honestly should’ve been able to move on from the boy by now. that’s why you decided to come back to the lake house. it’s been an entire four years, but you still found your mind clouding over with memories of you and quinn all the time.

you saw him almost everywhere you looked. always seeing him on the tv, either in a game of hockey against one of the many other teams or doing an interview for sports channels. you felt like there was just no escaping him no matter how hard you tried.

the cool breeze from the wind and the serene still-state of the lake was just enough to calm your mind-racing thoughts for the time being.

the moon had taken it’s bright spot over the sky, stars littering all around it, offering you bits of company as you sat on the dock by yourself. the sounds of water lapping against the bottom of the hughes family boat was the only thing you could hear. the air bouncing off of the lake comes cooler and the light gusts of wind leave goosebumps trailing down your arms. your breathing was smooth and stable, smelling the burning scent of the campfire that was still floating through the air, even after it had been put out.

the slightest sound of soft whispers being carried through the wind hits your ears, almost as if the sky was asking how you were doing; asking if you were okay as if the moon and stars could feel the sharp pains coursing within your heart.

you wanted to be honest, saying that you haven’t been okay for a while now. saying that you missed the way that the stars had painted the sky so brightly the night that quinn had kissed you for the first time on the very same dock those many years ago.

everything about this place just reminded you of him all over again.

through nights quite similar to this one, quinn would’ve been holding you safely in his arms, pressing the sweetest of kisses on your lips in the late hours you would spend together by the lake after sneaking away from the commotions happening in the lake house. he would give you all the comfort you needed, but now you sit there feeling nothing but hurt.

and it feels like the sky is judging you for staying hung up on the same boy you had left behind. but how could you not still be so enamoured with him when there was always love swimming in his eyes whenever he looked at you.

as if the moon could hear your thoughts, quiet footsteps can be heard coming from behind you. the slight creaking of the dock contrasting with the small waves beneath you. you think that you must just be seeing things as you look over your shoulder, watching the dark silhouette draw closer to you and it becomes more and more clear that it is quinn.

even through the fact that you could barely see from the darkness of the night, you feel your chest tightening from the way his hazel-like eyes are so easy to recognize, even in the darkest of hours. you couldn’t move, your body still as he sits down beside you, bringing his knees up and resting his forearms on them.

“look, i just came here to relax. we don’t have to talk or anythi–”

“i couldn’t sleep.” is all he says.

however, he doesn’t tell you that the reason for his sleepless night was because his mind was full of thoughts of you. the thoughts of the many times he had tried to reach out to you after you left him. the amount of unanswered calls and the unreturned efforts you made to come see him when he came home to michigan after being in vancouver.

he was reminded of the times he kept chasing after the love he probably should’ve just left alone.

he heaves intense breaths by you on the dock, everything around him seemingly blurring deep into the background the very moment he finally lets his eyes land on you. looking at you even though he can feel the fear building in his chest of breaking down right there next to you. you don’t catch onto the way his gaze stills on you as you keep your sight on the lake in front of you.

the last time he looked at you through blurry vision and unrequited stares was four years ago. he couldn’t be blamed for thinking that the sight of you right there next to him just like those times so long ago could be a simple figment of his imagination.

“i guess your love for the lake is still there, huh?”

quinn feels almost relieved at the thought of constancy from you. he couldn’t explain the strong emotions that were running through his veins at the fact that he still knew you so well, even after all this time being away from you.

sure, you might’ve been walking with a new kind of confidence around you, and the things you liked may not have been the exact same. but your love for the lake was still there. you still wore your hair up in messy ponytails the way you used to, and you still had the same liking for the kind of comfortably styled clothing.

the love of his life was still the same.

“are you okay?”

he loses himself in your words, and he’s not sure if it’s just the way you had said it, or if it was how genuine your voice sounded as you asked him. but something about the way you looked at him, with the softest gaze he’s ever seen, gives him the courage to answer you.

it’s a question he had heard plenty of times now. from his brothers, his teammates—pretty much everyone around him has asked him the same exact thing. it was a question he could never really answer properly, and even now, he still doesn’t know how to answer it.

but he tries his best to give an answer to you, even if it’s not the most accurate.

quinn couldn’t tell you just how much he was hurting still from losing you. it would be a lie if he said he had not been wondering for the past four years if things could have been easier with you still by his side. it would be another lie if he also said he didn’t feel his heart pounding and butterflies fluttering in his chest the moment he saw you walk in the door of the lake house earlier that day.

“i’ll be okay,” his answer was surprisingly honest. the most honest he could be in the moment.

quinn knew that he would be okay as time passed. and you hummed in agreement quietly to his words, bringing your legs up to hug them against your chest, chin resting gently upon them as the slow breeze continues to blow past the two of you.

“why didn’t you fight harder for us?”

his question caught you off guard, but it was a question you knew you always had the answer to. but the look he gives you seemed like he was not expecting a proper answer; he was just looking for closure. anything he could get in explanation for why you had ended your relationship the way you did.

“i didn’t want to get in the way of your dream.” your answer was something you had memorized in the back of your mind. but you never thought you would ever have to voice it right to him. even then after hearing it from you, he still didn’t seem satisfied with your answer.

“you were apart of that dream though. i wanted you by my side through everything.” the breaks in his voice didn’t do anything to disguise the pain he was obviously feeling.

“i didn’t want you to have to eventually choose between being in the nhl or staying behind with me. i knew what you wanted, and staying with you through it just seemed too difficult at the time.” your voice was more silent, more of a whisper. but quinn felt like he needed it shouted loud and clear at him.

“i never said that it would be easy for us. but i did know that if we tried, we would’ve been able to make it through. you could’ve waited.”

“you were leaving for vancouver that night. i didn’t know exactly when you were coming back, or if we’d even be the same while you were away in a whole different country.” you thought that quinn had let out all he had to say, but you werent prepared for the large pain you would be feeling in your heart at what he said next.

“you know, i was going to ask you to marry me.”

the thought that you had let marriage with quinn slip away just as quickly as you did with your relationship was enough to absolutely break you. especially when he was looking at you, tears shedding down his cheeks he didn’t even know had formed in the first place. the cracks in his voice broke through the peace that the cool breeze was bringing to the both of you.

“i’m so sorry.”

you were aware of everything that you were letting go of that night you walked out on him, and a sob itches at the back of your throat for the life you could’ve had with quinn.

noticing the large set of tears now escaping from your eyes, quinn is quick to pull you into his hold, hands finding the familiar spots on your back that he knew were quick to calm you down.

“i didn’t mean to end things for us the way i did.” the words he heard leave you were heartbreaking. you sounded so defeated.

“i didn’t think we would end like that either. i thought we would never end. i thought that we could get through anything, and be by each other’s side through anything life had in store for us.”

your shoulders felt like they had a large weight on them, physically able to drag you down to the deep depths of the water. it pained you to know how willing he was to make things work with you even through the time that seemed to be the hardest.

“shh, it’s okay.” he hushed down your sobs, pulling from you and holding your cheeks in his palms, using his thumbs to wipe away the tears that refused to stop running down your soft skin.

“i want you to know.. i’m proud of you. for all that you’ve accomplished, you know. i’m so proud of you for reaching your dream.”

it’s the first time you’ve said the words out loud, and it truly felt so good to finally be able to tell him just how proud you were of him, especially with how much time and effort he had put into his passion.

that was your first time smiling that night, even thought it was paired with the messy tears splayed across your cheeks and red puffy eyes , he smiled right back at you. quinn was glad to hear that, even if it wasn’t very direct, your heart still thinks of him always. and then he’s left to wonder if you ever notice the way he kisses the chain you had gifted him on your first year anniversary everytime before he goes on the ice. without ever forgetting, his lips always make contact with the silver, reminding him of one of the dearest people that had stuck with him through all of the cruel training and would take care of him when he ended up overworking himself.

the feeling of having you so close and the sight of the gentle smile on your lips was something quinn never wanted to leave. “i wish we could just start over. but maybe the universe just doesn’t work like that for us..”

“but what if we could try again? what if this time there was no end?”

you notice how his eyes travel between both of yours, then to your lips, and then back to your eyes once more. and the sight of his quivering lips, really the most vulnerable you’ve ever seen the man, has you sucking in a deep breath.

“do you really think we’d be able to make it?”

the hard thumping of your heart grows louder and louder through your ears when he starts leaning in, and you can feel the world around you darkening. the only sight visible being the man sitting right in front of you, and when his forehead lands on yours, you were convinced that you no longer knew how to breathe. “i think we’re worth another try.”

when his hands find their place on your cheeks for the second time that night, this time your eyes flutter closed and you allow your lips to meet his in a slow kiss that you didn’t even know you were yearning for all this time until you actually felt it. it was slow, deep, passionate; every possible emotion was being expressed through the way the two of you kissed each other. your touches clouding your minds until all you can feel is one another. not even the cool breeze in the starry night could be felt anymore.

memories coming back to mind of the same night you shared your first kiss, on the same lake, under the same amount of endless stars, with the same man you loved so long ago. however this time, the both of you are a bit more grown than before.

and now, there is a new memory, where the hope for the two of you is brought back, and the love you once felt so deeply gets to have a second chance.

#—ness writes #quinn hughes #quinn hughes x reader #quinn hughes fluff #quinn hughes imagine #quinn hughes x y/n #quinn hughes angst #quinn hughes oneshot #vancover canucks #nhl fic #nhl oneshot #nhl imagine #nhl x reader #nhl fluff #nhl angst #nhl x y/n

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castellankurze · 7 months

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ok but for real FF14 fans we gotta talk about the next 20 years in Eorzea cause it's gonna be wild

*There's gonna be some general Shadowbringers & Endwalker spoilers in this post.*

I'm making this now because something in 6.5 reminded me of this idea - no spoilers for 6.5 in particular though.

------------------------------------

So first, quick refresher: the FF14 setting has a pretty standard for the genre afterlife wherein souls of the dead merge with the planet's lifestream, they beat about for awhile, maybe ruminate on their past life, and then they can either merge with the greater whole or be reborn as new people. This got outlined all the way back in the 2.x patch series and became a major part of the plot for the Shadowbringers expansion, wherein the Warrior of Light is revealed to be a reincarnation of the ancient soul of Azem, or how the character Gaia is also a reincarnation of one of the Ascians.

Also a major part of the Shadowbringers plot are the revelations about the secret history of the world. How in forgotten ancient times, civilization threatened by a calamity called the Final Days offered up hundreds or possibly thousands of souls to create the god that would be known as Zodiark who would preserve the world, and how in time the goddess Hydaelyn would be created as an opposition to Zodiark's power. And that she ultimately sundered him into 14 pieces - and because Zodiark's nature was fundamentally tied into the essence of the world, when he was broken so too was the very planet and every living soul upon it, divided into the singular 'Source' and thirteen 'shards.' As part of Shadowbringers' plot, the character of Ardbert is revealed to be the First-shard part of the soul of the Warrior of Light, reuniting near the end of 5.0, and to villain Emet-Selch, these sundered souls are a pitiful shadow of the powerful, vibrant beings they once were in ancient times, unworthy of life.

Now here's where things get interesting.

During the course of our Endwalker adventures, we reach the lunar prison where the body of Zodiark is held captive. Due to some villainous machinations, the ancient god's bonds have been partially broken and his essence is leaking out, taking the form of ancient shades wandering about. One in particular we speak to is named Hythlodaeus. We had previously met this character - sort of, in the form of a memory conjured by Emet-Selch. This is the true Hythlodaeus, an ancient soul sacrificed to bring Zodiark into being. Despite joining the multitude of souls and the long slumber in imprisonment, he's coherent and holds a conversation.

Unsurprisingly, as the main character of a Final Fantasy title we go on to kill our setting's oldest god, and in so doing get a good look at the effect of the sundering on Zodiark: namely that in his case it was pretty literal, splitting off pieces of his body. However the interesting part of the Endwalker's implications is that while Zodiark was sundered, the individual souls that made up his being were not - after this confrontation we see and speak to our old new friend Hythlodaeus again, and again, both in a journey to the distant past and as we call up his soul for aid at the climax of the story...and he's the same person every time.

This...strongly hints that the myriad of ancient, unsundered souls which made up the bulk of Zodiark's essence have returned to the lifestream, and while major characters like Hythlodaeus, Emet-Selch and Venat seem content to leave the cycle of reincarnation for good and pass the world on to us modern folk...is that going to be true for everyone?

Are there, in fact, dozens - hundreds - thousands of Ancient, unsundered souls milling about in the aetherial sea, contemplating a return to the living world? Will the world of Etheirys over the next few years see a sudden wave of children with incredible power as these souls start to be reborn? Will the Warrior of Light, a soul merely eight times rejoined, be eclipsed in sheer strength by the might of a new generation?

The story will probably never go to such a place - after all it would essentially undo the themes of its two biggest expansions, and besides which, the story of FF14 as a whole will probably not venture so many years down the timeline to explore such a possibility.

But still. They say everything old is someday new again.

#FFXIV #Final Fantasy XIV #Shadowbringers #Endwalker #Zodiark #Emet-Selch #Hythlodaeus #lore speculation #long post

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poppadom0912 · 6 months

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Together (X)

Warnings: Mentions of violence, blood, injuries, abuse, kidnappings, shootings, swearing and scary men.

Summary: Everyone's reunited at last and are never letting go.

A/N: This is the last chapter before the epilogue. I just wanna reiterate how much fun writing this has been and how much i appreciate all the love and support you've shown this series.

It's a bit too late for my liking but I've only now finished writing. This week was so busy for me but I promised and here it is!

Enjoy the last 2.5k words of angst because the epilogue is next!!🙃😊

Previous Chapter / Series Masterlist / Next Chapter

Kelly was bursting through the seams with anxiety. The entire time while responding to the car pile-up, he was riddled with it and the tension he harboured carried through to everyone else.

It put him at somewhat ease to know at least Sylvie and Violet were with you as well as Intelligence and then eventually everyone at Med. You were going to be surrounded by people you loved and vice versa.

When the scene started to get cleared up, Boden wasted no time and let Kelly go, urging him to take his buggy and promising everyone would be there once everything was finished.

The second Kelly stepped into the ED, April was at his side and guiding him towards the ICU where you were being kept for now. On the way up, she carefully explained what she knew and warned him about your appearance.

Kelly didn't know what to think till he saw your face for himself and God, he wanted to bring hell onto earth.

Jay heard his soft steps, picking up his head from the back of the chair. Kelly wouldn't say it to his face, but Jay looked horrible, eye bags dark and sullen, hair uncombed and frizzy and injury wise, the bandages told him enough. Somehow, Jay looked worse than what he did yesterday when Kelly last saw him.

Upon seeing the lieutenant, Jay tiredly smiled at him, easing himself out of his chair and half limped out the room with the IV pole in his left hand. Kelly went forward hastily to help him, telling him to sit back down or help him out the room into another seat but Jay shrugged him off, weakly pushing his efforts away.

“Go be with my sister you dumbass. April’s here to help me, don’t worry.”

And with that, he watched his childhood friend help support his supposed soon to be brother-in-law down the white hallways of the intensive care unit.

Kelly's eyes burned when he first caught sight of you. The last time he saw you was on the video he'd been sent of you screaming as you were being beaten up.

Gosh, Kelly had felt so helpless and still feels as such.

Sitting in the chair Jay had previously been inhabiting, Kelly took his time to fully study you, memorising every feature of your face once again in fear of having you ripped out his grasp again.

You looked so different. Kelly knew your body by the back of his hand and had your every single detail down to the cell engraved into the forefront of his mind. You looked so different but so recognisable, there was no mistaking that this sleeping woman was indeed you.

Six hours ago, everyone was ready to mourn the oldest and the youngest Halstead. Despite the resilience Intelligence bleed, everyone had been told to prepare for the worst and six hours ago, all hope was lost and giving up seemed so sweet but so sour it still stung now.

Kelly hesitated, hand hovering mid-air over yours, eyes cast down on your battered body that he could only see little of. Healing scabs and scars alike marred your hands, the sight making him falter, wondering if it was even a good idea to hold your hand. But then the last two days flashed in his eyes and without another thought, he gently placed your hand in his.

Relief washed over him in waves, flooding his veins. This sensation felt so bittersweet, the sweet poking the tears from his eyes and the bitter nipping at his ankles. To have you back in his vicinity, to have you back home, Kelly never wanted anything so badly before in his life. Despite this, you had been through the ringer, experiencing pain like no other, pain that you wouldn’t wish on your worst enemy.

Actually, the Murray’s deserve worse, maybe the devil himself. Hell and a bit more sounded sufficient enough.

With his hand safely enveloping yours, Kelly felt himself calming down. Even with all the machinery beeping around him, to feel your pulse against his fingers made this dream a reality.

Soft knocking brought him out of his thoughts. Reluctantly pulling his eyes away from you, Kelly found Sylvie standing at the door with two coffees in hand, Violet nowhere in sight.

“Maggie said I can’t give this to Jay, so…” Sylvie said, dragging the word as she held out the paper cup towards him, shrugging her shoulders sheepishly when Kelly smirked in amusement.

“Thanks Brett.” Kelly smiled, gladly taking the caffeine from her hands, and drinking with no hesitation. Truth be told, no one in the firehouse slept much last night, they had too much playing on their minds.

“Crocket said surgery went well.” Sylvie started, standing by your head, fingers caressing your hair as she gently pulled each tangle apart one by one. “I know it doesn’t look like it but she’s going to be fine.”

There was a pregnant pause, Sylvie’s attention diverted and solely on detangling your matted hair before bringing a washcloth that sat on the table to get rid of any residue and dirt stuck on your face. Her trained fingers were put to work, her eyes not once leaving your face as she continued without stopping.

“She’s going to be just fine.”

*****

Kevin was overwhelmed, so was Kim and Hailey but much less so than the aforementioned man. The rest of the team, well they were off busy with the Murray’s and their many, many (somehow attained) henchmen.

The two women were bystanders in it all, coming much later and missing out the most brutal parts. The same could not be said for Kevin and Will.

The two men were following Jay out the warehouse but at a much slower pace. Kevin was supporting Will as best he could, apologising every time the doctor winced and faltered in his steps. Eventually, Jay got so far ahead that he disappeared and very likely was already outside and getting you into the single ambulance waiting.

All of a sudden, the silence that was only interrupted by Will expressing his pain was intruded by gunfire.

They really couldn’t catch a break, could they?

Will apparently remembered the hallways and pointed out a dead-end corridor for them to take cover in and despite his pain riddled brain, he wasn’t wrong.

Without any hesitation, Kevin drew his gun from his holster and shot when necessary and whenever he found someone lurking nearby. Without diverting his attention, he grabbed his walkie and called for backup, relaying both in code and not what was happening.

Eventually when some time had passed, way too long for Kevin to be comfortable with, Kim and Hailey appeared from around the corner, guns held up in caution before they lowered at the sight of the officer.

Despite having everything under control, Kevin felt better having his colleagues with him now that Jay was gone. With their help, together they could probably get Will out quicker.

Now that everything calmed down, Kevin could finally solely put his focus onto said man. Turning his back to the two women, Kevin went to talk to the redhead but found himself speechless at the sight he was met with.

Lord knows how but up above was a window that some crazy henchman busted his way through and had silently landed on the ground behind him. The man was dressed in all black, blonde hair pocking from the mask he wore armed with both a gun and knife.

Worst of all, the unnamed and very much unwelcomed man was way too close to Will for Kevin's liking.

Before Kevin could properly take care of the dude, a shot was fired, and the man fell very ungracefully onto the solid floor, the sound of the impact making all the intelligence personnel internally wince.

With the nuisance out of the way and no more pathetic distractions, Kevin turned to the redheaded man once again and the sight made him sick. So sick that he had to bite his tongue and hold back any bile from coming up.

Kim and Hailey clearly felt the same, both gasping from behind him.

The annoying man had been left ‘alone’ with Will for plenty long enough because along with all his injuries, another gaping wound had been added. Will was riddled in open wounds, the longer you stared the worse they looked. This one, instead of sitting among the others in his torso, was nicely placed in his thigh which conveniently was just above where Jay had been shot.

It seemed very convenient that every place on his body that had a wound were the places that bled the most. Will was having so much fun right now.

“Shit! Will!” Kevin rushed to kneel down before the slouched man. Chucking his gun and radio aside, quite carelessly, his brain short circuited before everything kicked in.

“Pressure.” Will coughed out, visibly struggling to keep breathing steadily. “You- you need to put pressure on it.” He repeated, wheezing as he liked his chapped and pale lips.

Without question, Hailey hastily took off the thin jacket she was wearing, rushing forward, and kneeling besides Kevin. With caution and slight apprehension, she positioned the jacket around his thigh but hesitated when she was supposed to tie it.

“This is going to hurt Will.” She said firmly, her strong tone warning him.

“The tighter…” Will started, slowly blinking up at the blonde woman who he knew secretly liked his brother and vice versa. “The better.”

And with that, Hailey tied the simplest knot and pulled hard.

“Fuck!” Will exclaimed, voice breaking. “Motherfucker-“

“Sorry! I’m so sorry but it’s all done.” Hailey incessantly apologised to him; her remorse visible on her face but before she could get up, she was stopped by a hand gripping her wrist.

“You have to go tighter.” Will stated, his fingers clutching her wrist as tight as he could but Hailey barely felt any weight. “Just like a torniquet. It has- has to be tight or else…”

“Will, stay with us man.” Kevin said, his tone leaking with urgency, almost pleading him. “You’re the doctor, walk us through it.”

Forcing his eyes open, Will blearily started at the three of them. His mind was completely muddled and subconsciously, he incredulously wondered how they hadn’t been trained to make a tourniquet in the field.

“Belt?”

Without further say, Kevin was getting up to unbuckle his belt easier, Kim replacing his space.

With much struggled, many pauses and tons of encouragement, they kept him alert enough for him to guide them through making a tourniquet around his thigh. The pain was unbearable, altogether it was blinding.

“I’m so sorry Will.” Kim whispered, sitting in front of him but she was alone with him, Kevin and Hailey gone off to find what was taking the medical attention so long to arrive. “Just a little longer I swear.”

“Jay! Stop panicking.”

“Hailey, it’s Will-“

“We’ve got him, go be with Y/N.”

“But Will- are you sure?”

“He’s trying his best, okay? Go be with our girl.”

And that might’ve been the last thing Will heard, the faint shouting between the two detective partners. Kim’s voice actually, he heard that last, her shouts for help when his eyes slid shut.

Actually, Jay’s desperate pleading, that was the last thing he heard.

*****

"It was part of protocol we run a rape kit."

Kelly couldn't breathe. His only saving grace being that Jay wasn't currently in the room with him.

"It came out clean."

Kelly physically deflated at the good news.

"It's going to take a while but she will recover. They both will." Ethan said, having permission from Crocket to tell him the news.

"And no one's heard anything about Will yet?"

The silence was so suffocating, if Kelly squinted, he could probably see Ethan turning blue from the lack of oxygen.

"We've been told we're waiting on a body. They want us to confirm it."

Kelly didn't need to ask for Ethan to break it down for him. He knew exactly what that meant.

If he looked the Korean man in the eye, Kelly would definitely see a thin sheen of tears coating his eyes.

*****

Antonio had been doing this for a long time, he’d seen and been through a lot himself but this, this would stay with him for a long time.

The guttural screams that tore his vocal cords to further damage. The blood trailed after him like the bread from Hansel and Gretel, painting the crime scene a war zone. His cries begging to know his baby brother and sister were safe and, in a hospital, where they could recover.

They were watching the innocent doctor become a martyr right before their very own eyes.

What happened next could only be explained by pure, sheer will and determination.

While they were hounding for an ambulance, Antonio caught men getting escorted away in cuffs, all looking identical until the final two men left the building. The rage he felt, Antonio didn’t know how any of them remained stationary.

It was a miracle Will came back to consciousness. When he closed his eyes and his body went limp, everyone truly thought that was it, after everything the Halstead’s had done to survive, this was the unhappy ending they were getting. But then, Will gave the biggest middle finger to fate because after all of this, she could be damned for all he could care.

Will remained alert enough, being continuously roused by each of the remaining intelligence members when they noticed his eyelids sliding shut. They tried distracting him, updating him on the wellbeing of his siblings, news that was happily provided.

The only ones that remained was Antonio and Kevin. The rest had been forced to accompany Jay just in case, they were all preparing for the worse case scenario. And Hank, he was making sure the bastards never got to see the light of day ever again.

Ten minutes passed. By now, it had been two hours since they got on the scene and an hour since they raided the warehouse. The more Will struggled; the more Antonio was losing his patience. Right before the naked eye, out in the open for the entire universe to see, Will was bleeding out; he was dying. Death was looming, crawling from a mile away but its stench was strong, it’s shadow too close for comfort.

Making eye contact with Kevin, they had a silent conversation and with no argument, they were lifting Will up and nearly carrying him towards the car.

This was their last chance and they weren’t going to wait for that ambulance anymore.

And for once, fate guided them with a beaming light. She overturned the hatred she'd shown and led them safely, holding out a much-needed lifeline.

And so when the car screeched to a halt at Med’s ambulance bay doors, Will found it easier to breathe.

Series Masterlist:

@mads-weasley @sowrongitslottie @elite4cekalyma @senjoritanana @hufflepuff-blackwidow @mrspeacem1nusone @kmc1989 @goth-cowgirl-03 @daggersquadphantom @photographerkaiya0306 @jamie0515 @samanthavitale @iamasimpingh0e @lanea-1 @swidkid @jamie0515

#one chicago x reader #one chicago imagine #jay halstead x reader #onechicago #chicago fire #chicago med #chicago pd #will halstead x reader #halstead sister #halstead brothers #kelly severide x reader #jay halstead x sister!reader #will halstead x sister!reader

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sinner-as-saint · 2 years

Text

dreams that are answered

Morpheus x Reader

Run-through: You and Morpheus have known each other since, well, since he created you to help him take care of The Dreaming. You missed him more than anything for the entire century that he’d been gone. But he’s back now, and your feelings for each other have changed. You used to be friends, but now that he’s back from being gone for so long, things are different. Turns out, while he was captive in the cage, the dark and broody Lord of Dreams dreamt of only one thing - being reunited with you.

Themes: friends-to-lovers, smut, fluff, slight angst,

a/n: i’m creating a new tag list for my darling Morpheus, so let me know if you’d like to be tagged in future Morpheus fics

“Morpheus.”

You greeted him with a poker face. You didn’t even sound surprised as you walked up to your house and found him, sitting there and sulking on the stairs to the porch.

When he looked up at you with remorse and guilt and hurt in his glossy eyes but also a slight bit of bitterness and anger, you quickly rectified your previous words.

Almost bitterly and with sarcasm, you said, “I mean, my Lord.” You even gave him a mockery of a bow. “You’re back.”

“You’ve kept yourself from me.” He sounded as calm as ever. His deep voice was almost cold and monotonous as much as it was soothing and familiar.

Always with his pretentious words. You caught yourself before scoffing. Instead you asked, “How did you find me?”

“My raven did.”

You nodded, then asked, “Why are you here?”

“Lucienne mentioned that you fled The Dreaming soon after I was gone. It’s your realm. Your home. I made you, and you were created for the Dreaming. It’s where you belong. You won’t fit anywhere else I’m afraid.” He paused, then said, “So I’ve come to take you home.”

You felt like a pot containing a mixture of boiling emotions. Emotions that were currently overflowing and the sight of the being in front of you didn’t help at all. “My Lord, I suggest-,”

He cut you off rather gently, “Stop calling me that. Stop pretending to be a stranger.”

You approached him, but then instead of answering, you walked past him up the stairs and towards your front door. “Come inside. It looks like it’ll rain soon.”

You unlocked your door and without looking back at him, you knew he followed. He shut the door behind him and stood awkwardly in the middle of your foyer.

You turned to face him. And took your time to really look at him. Dark and messy hair, shiny, glossy eyes. A princely, arrogant and broody pout on his perfect lips. He stood so still. Not even the dramatic, long black coat swayed the tiniest bit - almost like the Lord ordered it not to.

Just to piss him off, simply because you wanted to, you said, “May I take your coat?”

All he did was exhale loudly, steadily through his nose, which was equivalent to him rolling his eyes. “Stop.” He said once again, softly. “Come home.” He added. His voice was quiet, calming.

You rolled your eyes, turning around to walk further into your house. You reached the middle of your spacious living room before you realised that you couldn’t take this any longer. You turned back around to face him, and asked in a heated tone, “Why are you here, my Lord? Why now? Why come at all?”

Morpheus took cautious steps towards you, still keeping a safe distance as he spoke carefully, “I’ve come to apologise. I didn’t just up and leave, I was captured. Surely you know that. But I’ve come to take you home. The Dreaming is as it once was, I’ve reconstructed it. It’s time you come back to where you truly belong.”

You chuckled, “Home?” You scoffed, “Well, since The Dreaming has its King and everything back, I doubt it needs me.”

“No.” He said, sincerely, “Maybe not, but I do.”

The silence that followed his words was heavy. Agonising. Your eyes watered for so many reasons. Your heart craved to go back to the Dreaming. To go back home. Your oldest friend was suddenly back from being gone for a century. Everything was right apparently. But at the same time nothing was. Because the past years have been pure agony. You refused to accept that he was back, that the Dreaming was right again, that everything was okay now.

Fighting back tears of frustration, you said, “And here I thought you weren’t as cruel as some of your siblings. Maybe the heartlessness really does run in the family.”

“I understand your pain. But you have to-,”

“You created me almost an eternity ago. Because you needed someone to help you care for the realm. You created me like you did every other creature and entity in the Dreaming. We relied on you. I relied on you.” You scoffed bitterly, “My… oldest friend. Maker. Ruler. Lord. King.” You listed all that he was to you. “But then?” You asked, rhetorically. “You were gone. Out of nowhere, just gone. I woke up one day and you weren’t there.”

You didn’t realise you had tears streaming down your face until Morpheus tried to reach out to wipe them away but you pulled away from his touch. He looked hurt as you did.

You continued, “It was my home too. The Dreaming was all I had, all I knew. But no matter how much I cried and begged it not to, the Dreaming became nothing more than a cold graveyard of broken, decaying and crumbling mess after you were gone. Soon my presence didn’t matter since there was nothing and no one left to care for, Morpheus.” You said his name and he flinched slightly like you’d stabbed him. “You were gone, and my home was dying. So I left too.”

Your words stung him, but he didn’t let it show too much. He was always good at being as still as a statue. And just as cold and stony. Always calm and composed. So still, like death. Sometimes you wondered maybe he should’ve been Death, not his sister.

He spoke slowly, carefully. “Are you happy? Here?”

You sniffled, wiping your tears on the sleeve of your sweater. “The waking world works just fine for me.”

“Do humans not notice that you don’t age?”

“I move frequently.” You said, stoically.

“But you knew I came back, didn’t you?” Like most of the time, he was right.

“I did.”

“And you still didn’t reach out.” He stated.

“A lot has happened since you’ve been gone. I figured you’d be busy cleaning up all the mess that was made in your absence.” It sounded almost sassy coming from you.

“I’m… never too busy for you. I never was.”

You smiled through the tears. A faint smile. “It’s been a century, Morpheus. Surely things have changed.”

“Yes it has.” He said.

“I thought… I didn’t think you’d-,”

He cut you off gently, “You thought I was gone for good? On my own volition? You think I’m capable of leaving my realm?” Then a pause, and he added, “You think I’m capable of leaving you?”

Another tear escaped your eyes, followed by a humourless chuckle. “Friends don’t usually just disappear for a century, you know? How could I not think the worst?”

“Friends.” He repeated the word bitterly. Like it stabbed him, again. Like it hurts even more. “Is that what we are?”

You turned back around, unable to face him any longer. And not willing to face this… whatever this was. You walked towards the open kitchen and asked, “You want tea? I was gonna make a-,”

He grabbed you by the elbow and tugged you into his chest. Your palms pressing against the soft material of his dark coat, feeling his steady heartbeats beneath the clothing. You kept your eyes down so he said, softly in an intimate whisper, “Look at me.”

How could you resist that voice which was as dark and deep as night? You looked up into those piercing, glossy eyes of the being who’s old as time. More than a god, some say. Eternal. Endless. Your oldest friend. Your maker.

Before Morpheus said anything, you spoke up. “You left me.” You accused.

His eyes turned glossier. “Forgive me.” He whispered almost breathlessly, “Please forgive me.” He gently caressed your cheek while his other arm wrapped carefully around your waist.

You shook your head gently. “You left me, Morpheus. For a century. You can’t just come back now and-” You took a deep breath, your heart breaking, “You can’t just come back.”

“I apologise for leaving,” He whispered so softly it made your heart hurt. “My darling.”

You sniffled, pushing your face into his neck to hide your tears which flowed freely.

He continued, “I was held against my will in that cage. Alone in the basement. Summoned and captured. But I… ,” He trailed off like he was nervous. “I dreamt of you. And it was the only thing that gave me hope through it all.”

You sniffled again, “You dreamt?” You asked as if you didn’t believe him, pulling away to look at him with a frown.

He gave you a faint, rare, ghost of a smile as he looked at you. “I constantly imagined what it would be like to come back to you. To apologise for leaving. To make up for all the years that I’ve been gone.”

Another tear falls from your eye. “Morpheus…”

“I’ve missed you.” That’s the only thing he says before leaning in and pressing his lips to yours. His hands, warm and soft, reach up to cup your face and pull you closer. His mouth covers yours so gently for a moment you wonder whether this is dream or reality.

But then, as your arms wrapped around his lean waist, Morpheus lets out a quiet sigh which ends on a groan right against your lips and you smile, reassuring yourself that this is very much real.

He’s here. Finally.

You gently nudged him backwards - hoping he’d understand that you meant to take him to the nearest couch and show him how much you missed him. Or rather, have him show you just how much he meant the apology.

Morpheus let out a quiet growl against your mouth when you pushed him just a little. He pulled away, lips all pink and nibbled on and swollen, he grabbed you fondly by the jaw and said, almost playfully yet with an air of arrogance, “It seems, my darling, that you’ve forgotten who’s in control here. Did you forget who I am?” He asked in that arrogant tone which suited him so well.

You’d be lying if you said his voice alone didn’t send shivers down your back. All over your body actually. You almost whined as he deliberately pushed his hips into you, rubbing his erection against your lower abdomen. Even through the layers of clothing you could feel his hunger; thick and hard.

You were certain that by now your stare must be just as filled with lust as his was. His eyes were darker, glossier than usual.

“Come,” he said as he gently pushed you down on the large, sectional couch onto your back and hovered on top of you. He whispered again against your lips, “Let’s remind you then.”

You kissed him again, unable to stand the sight of those kissable lips. He groaned when you playfully bit his lower lip. He pulled away gently again to look down at you with his piercing, godly eyes. His gaze trailed up and down your body, your legs already parting and your skirt leaving very little to the imagination.

Not that he had to imagine anything. He made you after all.

He stood up straight again and said, “Take it off, all of it. Let me see you.” He requested, but he used that tone which made it sound like an order.

And like one obeys their maker, you did too. First the sweater. Then the skirt. Then the underwear. Leaving your bare body there for him to look at.

“Look at you,” He whispered, reverently. Reaching out with his hand, he gently traced your lips with his thumb. “So beautiful.” He pushed his thumb just a little past your lips and you sucked on it instinctively.

He hummed, impressed. He removed his finger from your mouth and traced your lips again, “Now-,”

“Now,” You cut him off, with a slight smirk, “You have a lot to make up for, Lord Morpheus.” You put extra emphasis on the Lord given it annoyed him.

He caught the way you spread your legs even further, allowing him a glimpse of the warm wetness in between them which coated your soft folds. Morpheus gave you that rare smile again.

After a pause he said, “You’ll make me kneel for you?” He asked, grabbing you by the jaw again and lifting your face up a little, “Me? You’ll make the Dream of the Endless kneel for you? To please you?” He purred, like he was teasing you.

“Well,” You played along, “If not, then the Dream of the Endless can go back to his castle. Alone.”

“Very well then.” Morpheus said, and for a moment you thought he’d just walk away with pride. But then… then he lowered down onto his knees until he knelt in between your legs.

His dark coat pooled around him, making him look no less than a god even when he was kneeling on the floor in front of you. You gasped quietly as Morpheus leaned in, your heart raced given he moved so slowly.

His warm hands caressed each of your thighs, up and down, fondly. Then he spread them apart even more, exposing you to him. You waited for the shame to hit you, but it didn’t. This was Morpheus, there was no need to be ashamed of anything.

You leaned back a little, placing your palms down on the surface of the couch behind you and thrust your hips in his direction just a little. Morpheus gave you that teasing smile again as he leaned in closer to kiss your inner thighs, all while holding your stare.

“So beautiful.” He mumbled and brushed his soft lips along the soft skin of your inner thighs, alternating between each side and making you moan quietly under your breath. “You’ve always been so perfect.”

You looked down at him with nothing but adoration, hurt, lust and pain in your stare. You both knew there was a lot to be said. There were so many questions that each of you had for one another. But all that later, for now… both of you needed more of this.

And Morpheus knew. He always knew. So he intended to give you what you both wanted. He placed both his hands on either one of your knees and separated your legs, moving your body to his liking like he belonged there inches away from your dripping core.

Morpheus wasted no time. You felt his warm breath hit your wet skin as he brought his mouth closer to your wet folds. He held your stare as he peppered kisses around your clit. You moaned when you felt his warm tongue lick from your entrance up to your throbbing clit, back down and back up, over and over again.

Your hand immediately flew to his slightly long, already messy hair, and you grabbed a fistful of it, tugging on it gently as his mouth teased you. His tongue slowly circled around your clit, earning another moan out of you.

“Is this what you wanted?” He asked, pulling away for just a moment. “For me to be on my knees and show you how much I regret leaving you?” He didn’t wait for an answer. And he didn’t hold back either as he ate you out like he was doing it for his own pleasure, gently and satiating both your hunger like he knew only he could.

Soon, Morpheus had you squirming, moaning and a complete mess in no time. Your eyes rolled back and your legs trembled as you felt his tongue fucking you gently. He locked his arms around your thighs and pushed your cunt further into his mouth, making you cry out of pleasure.

“Morpheus… please.” You pleaded. Pleading him to make you come already.

But he smirked, pulled away just enough to whisper, “I’m not done apologising.” And then he got back to it.

The feeling of the cool, soft material of his coat against your heated skin was agonisingly good, but nowhere near as good as how his mouth felt. His soft lips and his tongue sliding all over your folds, in and out, circling around your hole… it was too much. Too good.

Morpheus couldn’t get enough of you either - your taste, your warmth, the way you moaned for him, the fact that he knew no one else would ever make you feel this way other than him. You were his, in more ways than one and just knowing that excited him. So, with a couple more strokes of his skilled tongue, he had you coming undone - coming all over his mouth as he lapped up whatever you gave him, making you gasp and moan even louder.

Before you could properly recover from your orgasm, Morpheus kissed his way up your body leaving warm, wet kisses all over your skin, until he reached your mouth again. His kiss was gentle. When he pulled away, you finally stared into his deep, enchanting eyes.

Lips parted, gasping for breath - you couldn’t find the right thing to say.

But he did. With that feral, hungry look in his eyes he said, “You want more, don’t you?” He sounded playful, which was rare for him.

You agreed, reaching out to touch his face which was just inches away from yours, “I want you.”

Morpheus leaned in for a kiss again, from your mouth to your neck as he pushed you down on the couch and hovered above you for a moment. Just to look at you, and maybe to solidify the moment and remind himself that he has you back now.

“Mine,” He said, more so to himself before he reached out and grabbed a pillow from nearby and stuffed it under your lower back, elevating your hips and giving him a better angle to work with.

You watched how he moved swiftly, taking his layers of dark clothing off and leaving his lean and taut body bare. You couldn’t help but reach out, wanting to touch him. Wanting to place your palm against his bare chest and just feel him.

But he didn’t let you. He grabbed your wrist and pinned it down beside your head, leaned in and whispered, “No touching.” His voice was somehow deeper but also quieter. “Not until I’m done with you.”

You were lost in his eyes, and nodded. You’d agree to anything he said at that moment. So you kept your hands to yourself as he settled in between your legs again, his bare thighs brushing against yours as he carefully slid into you.

You whined at how slowly he slid inside you, inch by inch. Morpheus nuzzled your cheek, grunting under his breath as your body resisted him just a little. But once he filled you up entirely, you both sighed at the same time.

“You feel…” He spoke, in between deep breaths as he tried his hardest not to fuck into you like an animal already, “Like you were made for me. Just for me and no one else.” Your warmth wrapped around him, gripping him and reminding him that.

You cried out in pleasure, squeezing your eyes shut. Your back arched off the bed just as you felt his cock snug inside you. His scent felt familiar, the heat of his body did not but it was definitely something you could easily get used to.

“Open your eyes for me, darling,” Morpheus whispered as he laced your fingers together and pinned your entwined hands above your head as he moved tenderly in and out of you.

You did open your eyes, looking up at him. Even in the dimly lit living room of your temporary house he looked every bit of the Lord and King that he was as he fucked you.

“Morpheus…” You gasped and frowned in pleasure as he started rocking in and out of you.

He leaned in and pressed his lips to yours, whispering against them as he fucked you slowly, “I’m here. I’m here now.” His movements were gentle, passionate and loving. His hips rolled against your body perfectly, and his body weight pressing down gently on you was comforting and intimate. His grip around your hand tightened each time you’d mumble his name under your breath.

Given the pillow, his cock stroked a sensitive part of you each time he thrust in and he absolutely adored the sounds you made when he did. “You’re all mine.” He whispered against your lips again, and leaned in to kiss you deeply while he deliberately stroked his cock against your walls as slowly as he could just to make you whine and whimper even more under him.

Meanwhile, you were losing your mind. He felt so good. Each stroke, each kiss felt as strategically planned as everything else Morpheus did, only in this context his plan was to make you as lust-drunk as possible.

The moment he noticed that your eyes began to shut, he growled, “Look at me.” And when you did he said, “Look,” Then he lowered his eyes down to where his cock moved in and out of you so perfectly.

You followed his gaze and let out a moan as you watched.

Morpheus’ warm breath fanned your bare chest as he spoke, “This is what you wanted, isn’t it?” He sounded just as breathless as you were. “Well, look.”

You could barely think. And when he ducked his head just enough to bite and suck on your nipple, you cried out in pleasure again because fuck his mouth felt good. It looked good too; his pretty pink lips wrapped around your hard nipple while he fucked you nice and slow.

When he was done teasing your breasts, he moved back up to kiss your lips. And there was nothing slow or gentle about it this time. It was hard, fast and passionate. It was hot, the way he bit and nibbled on your lower lip as he sped up into you.

You felt his cock hit all the right spots each time he moved against you, now faster than earlier, and he groaned against your mouth the moment your walls started clenching around him.

You both knew you wouldn’t last any longer. All the slow and gentle teasing was done, now he fucked you like he meant it. Like how he wanted to for years now.

He pulled away so he knelt in between your legs with his back straight. His cock still buried in you. His hands left yours and reached down to grab your hips gently, keeping you in place as he fucked you harder now, his cock slipping in and out of you with ease as he fucked you relentlessly.

“All these years,” He said, knowing you could barely register what he was saying because he was fucking your brains out, “And now I can finally have you.”

Morpheus had always kept himself from acting on the feelings he had for you. But no more holding back.

He growled at how tight you felt around his throbbing cock, and leaned down to whisper in your ear. “Come for me, darling…” He whispered, voice strained and gravelly which sent chills down your body.

You squirmed under him, taking his cock to perfectly that he’d stop every now and then and just look at how pretty you looked when you were filled with him.

“Come.” He said again and his voice was enough to take you right to the edge.

You felt the pressure and the familiar, sweet pain in between your legs; making you gasp for air and your walls clench violently around him. “Oh, Morpheus…” You moaned. You were right there, but you wanted - needed - more.

He shuddered as you said his name. “Say it again,” He growled, “Tell me who’s fucking you.”

You were out of breath, a pressure forming in your chest and in between your hips as he pounded into your cunt, looking down at you with that look in his eyes which undid you.

“Morpheus…” You cried, your body moving along with his with each thrust. And with a few more strokes of his cock, you came undone, gushing out all around him.

You came with a loud moan, grinding against him hungrily while he growled against your lips as he came right after you. Spilling inside you, marking you.

You were gasping for air, heart racing as you came down from your high. He held you close, like you’d disappear if he let go of you. He had his arms wrapped around you, and you had never felt safer. So much so that the memories of the past years came flooding in. The days you spent in each other's company. The nights you spent pretending there wasn’t something more than friendship between the two of you. All the happiness and heartbreaks.

Then Morpheus spoke in the most gentle, cold voice, “I cannot be away from you any longer. Come home with me, please.”

To which you agreed.

#morpheus x reader #the sandman netflix #morpheus smut #the sandman #dream

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lemony-and-zesty · 3 months

Note

Angsty question, but how does every react to the scars? And does he ever tell them how he got some of them?

Ohhh man that’s a rough one,,

Here’s what I’m thinking!

The whole Floyd situation goes by a little too quickly for anyone to really,, acknowledge John’s scars. Like, I know for a fact that they all clock them, when they see him. But,, I think they’re a little to distracted with trying to find each other and save Floyd to say anything.

So, I’m thinkin that not long after they save Floyd and he recovers, they all confront JD about it.

Just very much a, “We’re just worried about you John, you’ve.. changed so much. And we wanna help you!”

“What? And you guys haven’t changed? It’s been twenty years! We’ve all changed!”

“That’s not what I meant and you know that!”

Que a big fight where John Dory gets extremely overwhelmed and finally can’t hold it in anymore and bursts out with, “I’ve killed people, ok? Is that what you wanna hear?? That’s what I’ve been doing!”

Dead silence.

“Is that.. how you got those then?”

…

“Not.. all of them.”

And at their silent prompting, he starts explaining his scars. Which leads to him explaining the entire situation. And his brothers are devastated.

They nearly take off to the city to try and kill the boss once JD gets to the scar on his neck.

Once the truth is out, the four become very protective over John Dory - much to his chagrin.

Can you imagine your whole deal being that you’re the oldest and you protect your youngest siblings but you never let anyone help you, and suddenly your baby brothers are jumping to your defense at any potential inconvenience - no matter how small?

————

Branch doesn’t fully forgive him - hell, she still doesn’t fully forgive any of them for leaving her behind - but she feels like she understands John Dory a bit more now.

————

Bruce is horrified that his only older brother - his best friend growing up - had gone through all this. He’s aware that of the five of them, he’s likely the one who had it the easiest, and he can’t help but feel guilty about it sometimes.

Can’t help but feel guilty for giving John the cold shoulder when they first reunited.

————

Clay has so many mixed feelings about it. Seeing his oldest brother so,,, broken, for lack of a better word,, crushed him.

For so many years, John Dory’s been this untouchable, cocky asshole in his mind. To find out that he’s not so unbreakable,, really throws everything Clay thought he knew out the window.

He doesn’t fully forgive John Dory, but he’s not so mad at him anymore.

————

Floyd is ruined by the news. Especially when he finds out about the neck scar.

He can’t help but blame himself, cause if JD hadn’t let him go then that boss never would have… God he could have died and Floyd might have never known.

“Is.. is that why you’ve been avoiding me?”

Floyd cries. He cries about it a lot. He encourages John to cry as well - to varying levels of success.

He tries to make up for it, much to John’s confusion. It’s a very one-sided blaming haha,,

————

But yea, that’s the main thoughts I have for it!! Thank you for the ask 🥹

#zesty posts #hitman!john dory #john dory #trolls band together #brozone #clay #branch #bruce #floyd

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mandosaur · 7 months

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Green-Eyed Monster (Ezra Bridger / Reader)

Fandom: Star Wars

Pairing: Ezra Bridger/Reader

Summary:

“ Your one insecurity had always been that you were second to Sabine. Even when Ezra had disappeared all those years ago and your heart had painfully torn in two, you still felt second best. Ezra had left you a beautiful little message telling you he loved you for the first time before he had disappeared, yet Sabine had received one too. Even worse, Ahsoka had taken Sabine as an apprentice years ago instead of you though you both lacked an affinity for the force. Another insult your insecurities had twisted into a blade against you.

Now, ten years later, that jealousy had not dissipated. Instead, it had crossed with the horrible feeling of guilt.

While you had mourned Ezra’s death and moved on slowly, Sabine had never given up hope. She had remained on Lothal for years and always kept her ear out for news of Ezra. You had returned to your home planet and given up hope of ever finding your childhood sweetheart. Sabine had beat you yet again in seemingly being a better option for Ezra.”

Reader gets reunited with Ezra after ten years all while tormented by the thought that Sabine would be a better fit for him.

Warnings: Depictions of a panic attack. Spoilers for Ahsoka Season 1.

Word Count: 7,962

Expected Reading Time: 28:57

Jealousy. There’s a horrible feeling deep in your very bones that rakes a claw down your being. You can feel every deep gash clearly as you scowl at the bottom of your tea. Your fingers curl and uncurl against the handle of the mug as Sabine chatters with Ahsoka.

Huyang turns his mechanic head towards you from the pilot seat and Ahsoka glances your way as if sensing your turmoil from the force, but Sabine remains oblivious. Once more, everyone can sense your emotions except the very target of your ire. You bury your anger as you take a long sip of the tea and let the liquid burn your tongue.

It’s been ten years since you lost Ezra and you still can’t manage to reel in the jealousy you feel towards Sabine. She’s an old friend, someone you trust implicitly, and yet the ugly green eyed monster rears its head every time she’s near.

Ever since you were kids, you envied her. She was an old friend from your imperial academy days and seemed to be better than you even then. She was born to high ranked Mandalorian parents whereas you were born the youngest to farmers in a backwater planet. She climbed up high in the academy and won awards while you hid in her shadow and merely fulfilled requirements. She was scouted by Hera and the rebels while you simply tagged along for the ride.

And she was the person that Ezra originally had a crush on while you watched painfully from the sidelines.

Ten years ago, you had fallen in love with someone you thought you could never have. One Ezra Bridger had won you over and crushed your heart without meaning to. While you had pined for him in the background, he had pined over Sabine. You had watched it all happen while cursing yourself for yet again not being as great as her.

Even after a miracle had happened and Ezra’s sights had turned to you, you had still felt jealousy towards Sabine. While Ezra had reassured you that he liked you and made you his girlfriend, you had still harbored some resentment towards your oldest friend. There had always been a little voice inside your head that had taunted you with the knowledge that Ezra was only yours because Sabine hadn’t wanted him. That you had been a consolation prize and second best.

Your one insecurity had always been that you were second to Sabine. Even when Ezra had disappeared all those years ago and your heart had painfully torn in two, you still felt second best. Ezra had left you a beautiful little message telling you he loved you for the first time before he had disappeared, yet Sabine had received one too. Even worse, Ahsoka had taken Sabine as an apprentice years ago instead of you though you both lacked an affinity for the force. Another insult your insecurities had twisted into a blade against you.

Now, ten years later, that jealousy had not dissipated. Instead, it had crossed with the horrible feeling of guilt.

For years, she had tried to get you on her side. She had told you to not give up hope and to help her find Ezra, yet you had pushed her away. Your grief and heartache were easier to manage if you told yourself Ezra was gone for good. As much as it pained you, you gave up all hope and harshly rebuked Sabine for still clinging to the idea of him returning. Anything to kill the last shreds of hope that remained within you before time could do it for you.

You had, had a massive falling out and hadn’t spoken in years. Not until Hera had commed you with Ahsoka and told you to return to Lothal because of a lead Ahsoka had about Thrawn.

Thrawn, Hera claimed, was the key to finding Ezra. The two of them had disappeared together. If one of them was rumored to be alive, the other might be too.

You had come back to Lothal after much trepidation and reunited with Sabine. To her credit, she had accepted you back into her group even if things between you were awkward and strained.

Still, being back near her and reopening the wound of Ezra’s disappearance had brought back a decade worth of insecurity and envy.

The tea burns down your throat as you finish it off. You wish Ashoka had packed something stronger. Were you back home, you would have loved to drink until the edge wore off.

Stuck in a ship with Sabine though, you bite your lip.

It truly isn’t fair, you know. Sabine was your oldest friend. You had met at the imperial academy and struck a friendship. You both had joined the empire as a way to rise in rank for your families, and both had seen past the gilded veneer of fascism. Once upon a time, you two regarded each other as sisters and you made quite the trio with Ketsu-

But fate had driven a wedge between you. You had fallen for someone who liked Sabine at the time and always felt second best. That jealousy had torn you to shreds and created a wall between the two of you. You aren’t sure how to manage it and the thought stings.

The call of your name brings you out of your thoughts. Sabine remains unaware of the darkness coiling inside you and calls for you to look over something. She’s brought her research with her and has been pouring over diagrams that she thinks could help in the hunt for Ezra.

You wander over to her side and pretend to make sense of the mess of lines and circles she’s drawn on a holomap. Ahsoka eyes you wearily as Sabine talks and you suppress the urge to clench your fists.

“No, I’ve never seen this galaxy either,” you murmur. Your eyes don’t even gaze at the map Sabine is pointing at. Your mind is miles away running from you and the horrible pit in your stomach that grows with every second.

Guilt and jealousy swirl within you. You are angry. Furious even. Angry at Sabine for dragging you back in the hopes of finding a man you love that you’ve tried hard to get over. Angry at the force for tearing Ezra away from you-

And angry at yourself for yet again being weaker than Sabine.

Sabine had never given up. While you had run from Lothal and tried hard to forget your childhood sweetheart, Sabine had remained steadfast. It was she who had unlocked the map coordinates while you had stared at that damn ball for hours until your head hurt and your eyes had turned red. It was Sabine who could think of a million different ways to continue the hunt while you could barely keep yourself from screaming.

In every way that counted, in every Maker’s damned one sided competition, she had always been ahead.

“Can you read this for me-?“

Sabine reaches past you to click on a screen. Projections of documents appear before you all with the names of different galaxies and star maps. You clench your jaw as you notice all the notes she’s taken over each document. She’s been at it for years, no doubt, always searching. Never giving up. Unlike you-

The one person that should have never given up on Ezra. The one who had sworn to love him forever, the one who had dreamed of marrying him, the one who should have been fighting from the beginning to find him-

Ahsoka’s hand touches your shoulder. You turn your head and find her gaze on you.

“Perhaps Huyang should look over the information instead. He can process it faster,” Ahsoka tells Sabine.

Huyang accepts the assignment and takes the tablet from Sabine. Sabine hardly notices the way you glare in her direction.

“Are you feeling alright?” Ahsoka questions. Her tone is gentle yet firm. Concerned for your feelings yet weary of the darkness inside you.

Briefly, you remember Kanan and Ezra discussing the force. Mentioning how they could sometimes sense emotions and tell when people were struggling. You’re sure Ahsoka has noticed how you flicker between rage and heartbreak over and over again.

You aren’t sure whether you should apologize or thank her for interceding. Had she not stepped in, you think you might have snapped and started screaming at Sabine to leave you alone.

“Fine,” you whisper back.

You certainly don’t feel fine and the lie tastes bitter in your mouth, but you shrug away her arm. Murmuring something about needing a break, you move past the group and disappear into another room of the ship.

Huyang’s workshop is tidy and neatly organized. You take stock of every lightsaber piece as your fingers trace every groove and indent.

To add further insult to injury, you don’t have possession of Ezra’s lightsaber either. You had, had it once right after Lothal had been freed but had surrendered it to Sabine on Ahsoka’s suggestion. When Ahsoka had decided to train Sabine as a Jedi over you, you had silently handed over the last remnant of the boy you loved and stormed off broken and bitter.

The lightsaber pieces around you are each different. You don’t see anything that resembles Ezra’s pieces anywhere. After a while, you end up just sliding into an empty seat and your head falls into your hands.

Everything is utterly in disarray. Your mind races with a million thoughts and you’re sure your heart is a pile of jagged pieces each shattered beyond repair.

The truth of the matter is that you know your insecurities are right. Sabine is better than you. At everything.

Had she liked Ezra back years ago, he would have never looked in your direction. The bittersweet memories you had of dating him would have never happened. You would have never been chosen if his first choice hadn’t panned out. Ezra had tried once to tell you that it wasn’t true, that he had genuinely fallen for you and it had nothing to do with Sabine only seeing him as a brother, but you hadn’t believed him.

And now? Now she was definitely better than you.

You had given up. You had once promised Ezra to love him forever yet had believed him dead. You had left Lothal, the planet he had sacrificed everything to protect, and suppressed every memory of him. You had dated around in hopes of forgetting his ghost and tried hard to move on-

All while Sabine had never lost hope. She had always fought for him and looked everywhere. She had never once believed him gone. You had the obligation to search for him as his girlfriend, yet you had failed him. Had it not been for Sabine, Ezra would have been truly lost.

The thought makes you want to scream. You grit your teeth tightly until your jaw hurts. If you weren’t so indebted to Sabine for finding a lead, you think you’d want to swing at her. She’s always been better than you. Ezra should have just held out for her all along rather than taking you as a consolation prize.

Feeling suddenly like you’re suffocating, you slam your fist into the control panel to slide open the door. Sabine looks up as you enter and Ahsoka quietly moves to allow you to retake your old seat. You ignore them all as you slide into place and hover your fingers over the tablet.

You need a distraction. Anything to keep the terrible feelings at bay. You slam some keys down until the maps disappear and you’re staring at a blank slate.

Quietly, you bury yourself in your work all the while stewing and boiling with rage.

———————————————

Days later, Sabine’s determination beats you once more. Cornered by Baylan and Shin, you and Sabine are forced to make a choice on what to do. Ashoka is gone and the map is in Sabine’s possession. You two have to decide whether to turn it over to the very people Ahsoka wanted to keep it from or cling to the hope that Ezra can be found.

When Baylan promises to take you both to him, you hesitate. Ahsoka’s words play over and over again in your head. She has long been warning you about what will happen if Thrawn returns. You know she would want you to destroy the map and keep Thrawn in exile forever-

But what about Ezra? Will destroying the map strand him wherever he is forever too? Will you give up your last chance at ever finding him?

Your mind and your heart wage a war. You want desperately to see Ezra again but you remember his sacrifice. You know he’d want to protect the galaxy from the Empire. You don’t know what to do-

In the end, Sabine beats you to it. Better than you in every way, she hands over the map to Baylan. She accepts the terms for you both and tells you to drop your weapon with a calm, clear voice. You both hate her and feel grateful that she’s taken the choice out of your hands.

You let them cuff you and don’t even react when Shin uses the force to cut off your airway. Nothing she could possibly do could hurt more than the ugly feeling of being a disappointment. Once more, Sabine has proven herself a better fit for Ezra than you. Were he to ever find out that you hesitated on this choice, you think he’d leave you once and for all and realize that Sabine has always been better for him.

When you and Sabine face off Thrawn, you hardly pay attention. The villain that plagued you for years hasn’t changed much. His glowing red eyes sweep over you with mild boredom before he directs all his attention at Sabine. He seems genuinely unamused when he realizes Sabine has traded the galaxy for the hope of finding Ezra.

You feel a cold knife twist in your stomach and look away as Sabine faces Thrawn off. There is no hesitation or remorse in her gaze when she coldly tells Thrawn that he could never understand. You wince feeling guilty at the memory of your own hesitation.

It seems like Sabine is the only one completing this journey. When the two of you mount your steeds, it’s her who fights off the bandits. She moves like a lightning strike taking them down while you throw punches and kicks at random barely managing to take down one while she’s got the squad down in moments. When a Noti appears, it’s Sabine who realizes he’s wearing a Jedi symbol on his clothing.

You feel like a shadow merely following her around. Every new revelation and step closer to finding Ezra brings you both joy and envy.

Sabine feels like she’s better suited for the role of Ezra’s partner compared to you. She’s been loyal, determined, and fierce in his search. You, who had a responsibility to find him, had given up. Ezra deserved better than you.

By the time you make it back to Noti’s village, you feel the weight of your own soul crushing you. You feel painfully jealous, angry at yourself, and broken down. You try to ignore Sabine as she urges you forward telling you that something about this particular village feels different.

You’re so downtrodden that you don’t even realize someone is calling your name until you turn your head and hear Sabine’s breath hitch. Time seems to slow down as your eyes meet a striking blue that you haven’t seen in years. Your heart races and you move to run at Ezra-

When Sabine beats you to it.

She all but rushes past you to beat you to Ezra first. Ezra, half way to you, is interrupted as Sabine crashes into him. Her arms wrap around his frame and she buries her head into his neck. He looks like he wants to move to you for a brief moment before he hugs her back and greets her for the first time in ten years.

You hang back awkwardly watching the love of your life embrace someone else. Every hurtful thought you’ve ever heard about not deserving to be at Ezra’s side plays over and over again in your mind. Worse still, you are forced to see how good Sabine looks with Ezra. They click together like puzzle pieces and look perfect. Two halves of the same whole.

A coldness seeps into your very bones. You suppress the tears forming and grit your teeth painfully. If anything, Sabine deserves this moment. She’s the one who found Ezra. You don’t deserve him.

Despite the way it almost kills you to see Sabine steal your moment, you hang back. The ugly insecurities in you taunt and laugh as you watch them. You can’t escape the feeling that you’re an outsider looking in and intruding in a moment that you don’t deserve.

It feels like an eternity when the two of them finally separate. Sabine is smiling wide oblivious to your pain. Slowly, Ezra moves away from her and moves towards you instead. You force yourself to shove aside the familiar jealousy deciding that seeing Ezra again after a decade is worth more than the agony in your chest.

You meet Ezra halfway as he runs. Your own arms wrap around his frame and he all but picks you up to hold you close. He breathes out your name and you’re struck by how different he is.

Your hands shake as you press your palms to his face. He has a beard now, his cheeks are thin, no doubt from the lack of food, and there’s a certain maturity in his eyes that wasn’t there before-

But he’s Ezra.

Tears spill before you can stop them. His fingers wipe them away gently and his smile is bright. He says your name again like a sacred prayer.

“You’re alive,” you whisper. It’s the only sentence that you can form past the haze. Everything feels so surreal.

Ezra stands in front of you. The love of your life. The boy that had won you over ten years ago and never once let you go-

The one a part of you isn’t sure you deserve.

Ezra presses his forehead against yours. A familiar little habit he had back from when you were kids. A way to soothe you and reassure you that everything is going to be okay-

A sob breaks past your lips at the familiar action and you busy yourself burying your head in his chest. He holds you tighter to him. Underneath your palms, his heart races.

For a moment, every insecurity stops. The cold words you tell yourself over and over again in your head quiet for just this one moment. A sense of peace fills you and everything makes sense. For just a moment, all of the pain of the last decade goes away.

Ezra moves his head forward like he’s going to kiss you. He seems hesitant, unsure if he still has the right after a decade, and you want to meet him halfway-

But then Sabine interrupts the moment. She’s being herded by a Noti away and another one chirps out a different language to Ezra. You suddenly remember where you are you and draw back too fast. It feels maddening to separate from him after losing him for so long, but you think it’s better this way. It’s not like you deserve to kiss him after everything you’ve done.

The loss of him hurts like an open wound. You miss holding him. After ten years, you had given up hope of ever having that chance. It feels so cruel to lose it now-

And of course Sabine had to ruin this moment too. She’s always ruined everything for you. Perhaps she’s finally realized her feelings for Ezra and how better she is for him than you.

Your blood feels cold as you watch her grab his arm. She links their arms together and begins speaking. He gives you one last look over his shoulder before a Noti grabs your own arm to tug you forward. You are forced to trail after them feeling like a third wheel among their partnership. Something you’ve tended to always feel when the three of you are together.

They form a good team. It looks entirely natural for the two of them to be together. Sabine just makes sense at his side. She’s saved him after you’d given up, always been beside him throughout your time together as members of the Ghost, and was the first person he was ever interested in. It makes perfect sense for her to be the one with him.

A painful lump forms in your throat and you wave away the Noti’s concern when it curiously looks up at you. You trail silently through the village as Ezra begins to explain everything.

He tells you and Sabine pieces of his time here. He tells you how he and Thrawn made it here, how he ran from Thrawn and found the Noti by chance, and how he’s spent time with them since. They’re a peaceful people and have welcomed him into their ranks. He accompanies them on their travels, but he’s ready to come home.

He smiles at you both as he thanks you for coming back for him. He can’t wait to return to your galaxy and see Hera, Zeb, and Chopper.

Guilt grips you tightly. You don’t have the courage to admit that you had thought him lost. Had it not been for Sabine, he would have remained on this forsaken planet forever.

A coward to the end, you bite your tongue and hesitate at his words. When Ezra tries to move towards you, hand shyly reaching for your own, you move away as if his touch burns. You don’t think you deserve his gratefulness. Not with how awful you’ve been all these years.

It’s almost a relief when Sabine takes over. As much as it pains you to see her slowly replace you, you know you deserve it.

Before Ezra can ask you what’s wrong, you turn away and pretend to be busy with a Noti who is patching up something to the far side of the village. You turn your back on Sabine and Ezra and remain rigid as they walk away. Ezra keeps glancing back at you from time to time while Sabine urges him along to discuss things with him.

By the time they’re finally gone, you wander off further from the village and then promptly bury your head in your hands. The last of your strength leaves you and you sink to the ground below. The pain you’ve been suppressing returns in waves and you give in to the horrible voices that tell you what a terrible person you are and how you don’t deserve Ezra.

———————————————

By the time the sun sets, you’re a ticking time bomb. You’ve spent a long time wallowing in self pity. Everything aches as you make the trek back to the village.

The Noti are tiny, so it’s not hard to spot Sabine and Ezra. Ezra is holding something by the fire while Sabine messes with her vambrace. She seemingly hasn’t told Ezra about how the two of you are stuck here and how Ahsoka is dead.

When you get back, both of their attention is turned towards you. Ezra lights up and waves you over. He means to let you sit with them, but you quickly note that there’s no room. The Noti are half your size and don’t use large spaces. The log Ezra and Sabine sit at is out of room. You have no place beside Ezra with Sabine there.

Suppressing a grimace, you elect to remain standing.

“What are you two up to?” You ask. Your voice sounds colder than you intended, bitter.

Ezra looks at you and you evade his gaze. There’s something deep in his eyes that you don’t want to dwell too long on. He looks like he doesn’t quite know what to make of you. You have a feeling you aren’t who he remembers.

Good.

Maybe if he no longer recognizes you, he can give you a clean break. It’s become very apparent that you no longer belong at his side. Perhaps if he realizes he made a mistake in choosing you once upon a time, he can find someone better. The sooner he moves on the sooner you can kill what’s left of your broken heart.

Sabine is the one who answers. You’re quite frankly sick of her by then.

“I was telling Ezra everything’s that’s happened since he’s been gone. The Empire, Lothal, everything,” she responds.

Ezra awkwardly nods at her words. You feel a pit form in your stomach. Idly you wonder if Sabine has told Ezra how terrible you’ve been. Wonder if he knows you had given up on the hope of ever seeing him and tried to move on. Is that why he can’t seem to look at you anymore?

Anger and pain throb in your chest. You squeeze your jaw together.

The rest of the night passes far too quickly. Ezra and Sabine chat until the embers of the fire die down. You respond only when necessary and keep your remarks short.

Every once in a while, you think you see Ezra stealing glances at you but you ignore him. It feels like you’re having a terrible out of body experience. You’re so close to him, finally after mourning him for a decade, yet you know you have no right to rejoice at finding him. The guilt and jealousy you feel outweigh everything else.

It’s a mercy when the Noti begin to prepare to sleep. They offer the perfect excuse for the night to finally come to a close.

Ezra stands up and runs a hand through his hair.

“I sleep in the big room over there. It’s as human sized as you can get here. You both look exhausted. The journey here couldn’t have been easy. Why don’t you both take it? It wouldn’t be the first time I’ve slept outside with the Noti,” Ezra offers.

“We can’t take your place-“

“I insist,” Ezra interrupts Sabine, “I’m used to camping out. The Noti constantly move from place to place seeking shelter so sometimes we have to rough it on the ground. It’s nothing unusual. You both can take it.”

Sabine glances at you with a nod of her head.

“Is that alright with you? You wanna share that tent with

me?” She asks.

Both Ezra and Sabine seem to be very interested in your answer. Ezra searches your face for something. You think there’s a question he’s longing to ask, something he’s dying to know, but he can’t bring himself to say it. It seems like he’s too afraid of whatever he thinks he’ll find or won’t find.

Truthfully, you don’t have the patience to speculate on what the two of them are trying to find out. It’s been a long day and you’ve suffered enough already.

You shrug, “Fine.”

A one word response. Sabine blinks and Ezra winces. There’s almost a flash of pain in his gaze before he looks away. You highly suspect that whatever test has just transpired, you’ve failed.

Sabine shares a glance with Ezra. You try to ignore the way the knife in your heart twists to see them communicate silently. Years apart and yet they seem to still know each other well enough to talk through simple glances and looks.

It’s all too much. You spin on your heel and march off mumbling some excuse about being exhausted.

Inside the metal tent, you close your eyes and count to ten. There’s a roar in your ears and a headache forming at the very back of your skull. You aren’t sure how much more this you can take. Already, it feels like you’re hitting a boiling point.

Everything feels terrible. The jealousy, the heartbreak, the anger, the guilt. All of it is becoming too much.

By the time Sabine returns, you’re at your limit. You don’t even flinch when she waves a hand in front of your face to test if you’re paying attention.

“What’s wrong?” She sounds concerned as she peers down at you, “You’ve been out of it all day. I thought you’d be really happy. I mean, we found Ezra-“

A scoff breaks out before you can stop it. You hate that she’s using the word “we.”There is no “we” here. It’s all her. It’s always been her. She’s the hero who saved Ezra. You’re the terrible ex girlfriend that abandoned him.

“I’m just tired,” you shrug. It’s a weak lie. She doesn’t seem to buy it as she presses you more.

“You’re not acting okay. I didn’t think you’d want to share a room with me. I thought you’d make an excuse to get out of it.”

Your eyes roll. She stops and stares at you as if finally realizing just how angry you are.

By now, the pain is cooling to anger. There’s a rage vibrating deep within you towards her. You’d love nothing more than to shut her up once and for all.

She calls your name with a frown. Concern and frustration are evident in her face.

“Seriously, is everything okay? Ezra wanted you to stay with him outside. He was waiting for you to ask to stay with him-“

“Well, didn’t you want to stay with him? You should have volunteered,” you tug angrily at your jacket. The fury is burning you from the inside. You feel like a star about to combust. It takes all of your strength to remain composed.

Sabine has the gall to look confused. She makes a face like she doesn’t get it. You aren’t sure whether she’s being coy or if she’s just dying to hear you spell it out to her.

“What are you talking about?” She moves to grab your arm. Perhaps she wants you to face her and explain why you’re suddenly so angry, “You hurt him, you know. He doesn’t know where he stands with you. You haven’t spoken to him or made a move. He’s scared you’ve moved on-“

“Oh, I’m sure you’ll comfort him. You’ve been much better for him than me,” you bite.

Again, there’s a moment of confusion. By now, Sabine herself is growing frustrated with your attitude. It seems she can’t wrap her head around why you’re so upset.

“What is wrong with you? Seriously. You finally get Ezra back and you just ice him out-“

Something snaps. The anger you’ve been suppressing spills forward like a dam. Before you can even think about what you’re doing, you’re shoving her as hard as you can away from you. There’s a sense of satisfaction in the way you take her by surprise. She’s much stronger than you, yet you manage to make her slam into the metal walls. Her armor makes a satisfying thud when it collides against them.

“Oh, shut up, Sabine!”

You move to shove her again, rage boiling over.

It’s all too much. Every negative emotion you’ve been feeling since Sabine unlocked the map where you failed has spilled over. You feel like a bomb exploding. You aren’t a violent person, yet you find yourself pushing her again.

This time, she’s ready for you. Her eyes are wide and there’s shock in her voice when she calls your name. She grabs your wrist and twists you around until she’s holding your arms in place. A move you had only ever seen her do on stormtroopers.

“Maker, what’s wrong-?”

Her voice trails off in shock as you shove off her hold. You press your hands to your face feeling adrenaline course through your veins. It burns white hot against your skin. You swear you feel your blood boiling.

“Do you know how sick I am of you?” You jab a finger at the center of her chest plate, “You just have to rub everything in. I get it, alright? I get that you’re better than me. You have always been better at everything. I never stood a chance.”

You back away from her suddenly feeling like you’re boxed in. The anger is coursing red hot but there’s something else there. It’s all consuming and harsh. You feel it practically strangling you.

While you are threatened by Sabine’s presence, some part of you knows it’s not just her that’s causing this outburst. Really, it’s more than that. A part of you is just angry with yourself.

It’s yourself you despise. Had it not been for Sabine, Ezra would have been stuck here forever. You had given up on ever finding him. For all your promises of loving him years ago, you had simply given up. He would have never have given up on you.

Spinning around, you press your fists against your eyelids to try and stop the tears forming behind your eyes.

“You found him. I gave up on him,” you whisper. It’s a harsh admission out loud, “You’re better than me. He deserves better. He deserves you.”

Sabine is stunned. She blinks and makes a face like she can’t believe what you just said. You don’t have it in you to explain. The anger is slowly becoming despair. You want nothing more than to just curl up into a ball and die.

“What? I-Do you-Is that what this is about? You think I have feelings for Ezra?” She takes you by the shoulders and holds you steady.

You’re shaking, you realize. Your hands are quivering and your breath is coming out in short pants. A panic attack.

“Don’t you?” You bite the inside of your cheek to quell the rising panic. Your chest feels too tight. It constricts against your clothing, “It’s okay if you do. He’s always liked you. You could make him happier. You didn’t give up on him like I did.”

It hurts to say everything out loud. You don’t think you could survive seeing Sabine with Ezra. It would break whatever remnants of your heart are still working, but you wouldn’t stand in their way. Ezra deserves to be happy and you’re not the person that can give that to him. If Sabine can, then she should. It would break you, but you deserve it. An atonement for your sins.

Sabine calls out your name. She pulls your arms away from your face and shakes her head firmly. She looks stunned and hurt. She’s hurt by your words.

“I don’t like Ezra romantically. He’s a brother to me. That’s it. He loves you-“

You close your eyes against the rising panic. It takes all your willpower to remember how to breathe. It feels like something has gotten a hold of your body. You feel everything mounting until it bursts. Emotions and words pour out of you. You aren’t sure just what you’re saying. Everything feels like it’s happening far away.

“He had a crush on you first. He didn’t even look at me until he realized you weren’t interested. I always knew I was his second choice. I was always so angry with you. You two spent so much time together. I was always just counting the days until he left me for you. You two just fit together. Ten years later and you two can just go back to being close. I don’t know how I could ever face him knowing that I gave up-“

The feeling of choking returns. You press your hand to your chest feeling like your lungs will give out. There’s a painful squeeze to your heart. Is this what a heart attack feels like-?

Suddenly someone is taking you gently by the shoulders. Familiar hands press against your face cradling you softly. You hear your name whispered in a low voice. You know who it is without even opening your eyes.

Ezra.

“Hey, breathe. Breathe with me,” he whispers. He shows you some deep breaths. His arms hold you in place firmly but not tightly. It’s his way of showing you that he’s here. That you’re not alone.

Slowly you try and copy his breaths. It’s a struggle to do it. It feels like every painful gasp of air you inhale rattles against your lungs. It takes much longer than it should to finally regulate your breathing.

By the time the panic attack is finally underway, you feel exhausted. There’s a heaviness to your body you haven’t felt in a while. You’re shaking as Ezra slowly moves you towards a makeshift bed. He eases you gently into a sitting position. Idly, you realize that Sabine is inching out of the encampment probably wanting to give you and Ezra space to talk.

“Are you okay? Do you need water? A blanket?” Ezra kneels to be eye level with you. His eyes are concerned, scared for you.

It’s not fair. He’s the one who’s been lost for ten years, yet here he is worried about you. You don’t deserve him.

That’s what finally does you in. You begin to sob and press your hands firmly to your face. The tears pour out of you. It’s been a long ten years. Everything just shatters.

In the last decade, you’ve cried more times than you want to admit. Grief has been a friend for ages. You’ve cried until you had nothing more to give, yet this breakdown feels different. There’s a war or emotions pouring out of you. Anger, grief, jealousy, insecurity, pain. They rush over you in waves to the point where you feel like you’re being physically crushed under the weight of them.

Ezra wraps his arms around you and lets you cry against his shoulder. He holds you firmly in place whispering words of encouragement. You don’t deserve it. You weakly fight against his hold.

Words spill forth in a whisper before you even realize half of what you’re saying. There’s just a frantic need to pour everything out. The admissions slip from your tongue without truly registering in your brain. You just need him to understand why he should hate you.

“I gave up on ever finding you. I spent an entire year unable to get out of bed. I couldn’t eat, couldn’t sleep, and couldn’t think. Every little thing reminded me of you. I thought I was going to go insane. Everyone was worried about me. Hera had just had Jacen, yet she was taking care of me instead of her newborn. It felt horrible to worry everyone. At some point, I just had to let you go. I told myself you were dead and mourned you. I needed the closure so I gave up. If you were gone forever, then I could slowly move forward. I didn’t want to but it was breaking me. Thinking that you were out here somewhere was driving me insane.”

Ezra holds you tighter at your admission. You’re not sure but you swear you think you can hear him say he’s sorry. It’s heartbreaking for him to apologize. He’s the one that you’ve wronged.

“I couldn’t move on from you. I tried dating again a few years after you were gone but never made it past the first or second date. Everyone was all wrong. They just weren’t you. I kept telling myself that you were gone and that I should move on, but I couldn’t. I was driving myself crazy with grief. I even had a falling out with Sabine. Sabine kept searching for you. She never stopped. She’s the one who found you. Had it not been for her, you would have been lost forever. She’s better than me. You deserve better,” you force yourself to look at his eyes and are shocked when you see that he’s crying too. You never meant to hurt him but the confessions keep pouring out, “I know you liked her first. You only started dating me because she didn’t like you back. I told myself all these years that, that was okay. I loved you enough to be your second choice. Then these last ten years happened and they made me realize that I don’t deserve you. I gave up on you. She didn’t. She-you both make perfect sense. You just click with each other. She’s a better choice for you. I love you, but I know you’d be happier with her. She was your first choice after all.”

Now that everything is out, you feel tired. You bury your face in his shoulder and feel the way his heart is racing. His body feels tense as he lets all your words sink in.

“What? Do you think I like Sabine?” He sounds stunned. Gently, he pulls you away so that he can look at your eyes.

His eyes are red and there’s tears running down his face. He looks heartbroken. He calls your name softly and his voice cracks.

“You’re not my second choice, Maker. I’ve loved you for over a decade. It’s always been you. I admired Sabine when we were kids, but I always saw her as a sister. That’s all she is. You’re the one I’ve loved all these years. I dreamt of you every night, I tried using the force to find you whenever I meditated, the thought of you has kept me going all these years. It’s you that kept me alive. Any time I wanted to give up, I remembered you and everyone else back home and that kept me going. You were never my second choice. You’ve always been my only love. Always,” his fingers wipe away your tears and his breath stutters, “I thought you’d moved on. You didn’t want to spend time around me. You pulled away when I tried to kiss you. I thought you didn’t care me for me anymore. I was going to accept that. It’s been ten years. You didn’t know I was still alive. If you had moved on and married someone else, I would have never held it against you. Don’t blame yourself for needing to move forward.”

“You wouldn’t have given up on me. Ezra, you would have been lost without Sabine. I thought you were gone.”

You squeeze your eyes shut. Ezra would have never given up hope. He would have kept searching until the very end. You didn’t.

His hold on you tightens.

“Ten years. I was gone for ten years. I don’t blame you for thinking I was dead. Maker, the ship had lost its airlock. I thought I was going to die when we hit hyperspace. You had no way of knowing I was alive. Sabine said you all only thought I was still alive when Ahsoka heard rumors about Thrawn returning. There’s no way anyone could have predicted I was in another galaxy,” he says.

You keep your eyes closed.

The rumors about Thrawn’s return are what had made this entire search possible. You had dropped everything when Hera and Ahsoka had commed you and rushed back to help the search. Sabine was steps ahead of you which hurts to admit, but you had rushed back to help.

Wearily, you think of everything you’ve done so far.

You think of how Ahsoka refused to train you in favor of Sabine because she said you were ‘too attached’ to be open to the force. You think of how you couldn’t open the map and had spent hours turning it every which way until your fingers had cramped and bled trying to pry it open. You remember that terrible moment where Shin and Baylan had you cornered, how they had offered you and Sabine passage to Ezra in exchange for the map. Logic would have had you destroy the map and prevent Thrawn from ever returning. Ahsoka would have wanted it that way, yet you had hesitated too. Your brain had said you needed to destroy it, but your heart had frozen. Destroying it meant never finding Ezra. You had let Sabine take over on that choice and hadn’t protested when she handed the map over. You’re sure now you would have made the same choice albeit not as fast as her.

As if sensing where your thoughts are going, Ezra places his forehead to yours. His way for reassuring you.

“I don’t blame you for anything. I’m sorry I hurt you all these years. If you’ve moved on, I get it. Just please don’t feel guilty you had to think I was dead to survive. Forgive yourself,” he urges.

You snap your eyes open startled.

“Ezra, I’ve never moved on. I love you. I have for all these years. I was just too guilty to express it. Sabine found you. I gave up. You deserve better. The two of you could-“

Suddenly Ezra dives forward. His lips press to yours and he holds you in place tightly. You make a sound of surprise before giving in.

It feels like something between you clicks. The world stops and everything feels so natural as you kiss him back. It’s been ten years since you’ve last been able to hold him. You don’t think you can survive another ten without him. You barely made it through these last few years.

He feels like home. After all the suffering and the self loathing, kissing him feels like everything is falling into place.

After a long kiss that takes your breath away, he withdraws. His breath is a harsh pant. His beard tickles your face as he presses smaller kisses to your forehead and cheeks. You cling to him tighter and take in the feeling of being in his arms again.

“I love you,” he breathes out, “It’s only ever been you. Please don’t say you don’t deserve me. You kept me alive all these years. It’s always been you.”

The last of your energy snaps. You feel so painfully exhausted. You cling to him tightly and let him move you back to the bed. He climbs in next to you and holds you to him as if he’s afraid to let you go.

Everything you’ve been through today makes you feel so tired. You want nothing more than to go to sleep and come back to this tomorrow. You don’t have the energy to keep going today.

Thankfully, Ezra doesn’t withdraw. Instead, he climbs into the bed next to you and holds you close. All of those terrible voices in your head quiet when he presses another kiss to your forehead.

You close your eyes feeling everything fading. The two of you aren’t done discussing this. He still needs to know that you love him too and that you are sorry for everything that’s happened. You also will have to apologize to Sabine tomorrow. It’s not her fault your own insecurities turned against her.

Still, for now, this moment feels like peace.

You curl into his arms and hold him tight the way you used to when you were young. He holds you to him and refuses to let you go. In a low whisper, you tell him you love him. As you drift off, you hear him say it back.

And for the first time in ten years, you finally feel a semblance of peace.

#ezra bridger x reader #ezra bridger / reader #star wars rebels #ahsoka show #star wars

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aphrodisiac-siren · 1 year

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Paramour

Aemond Targaryen x Reader

Summary: When the succession of the Driftmark throne is put into question, Rhaenyra returns to the RedKeep along with her children, her husband Daemon and his daughter by the late lady Rhea, Y/N Targaryen, who is once again reunited with her childhood friend Aemond who she had grown distant with over the years.

Friends to strangers to lovers??

Part 1, Part 2, Part 3, Part 4,

Part 5 [Final part]

Aemond never knew himself to be a touch-starved man until that night when he'd got a taste of Y/N's lips. Ever since they'd kissed, he seemed to long for her more and more. The both of them had been courting since that night, in secret though; running to some isolated corner of the keep when it became almost unbearable to keep their hands to themselves. And despite how desperately Aemond wanted all of her, he did not give in to his desires and maintained restraint when it came to keeping her virtue intact. He wouldn’t do anything that he knew would tarnish her reputation.

The hearing about Luke's inheritance of the Driftmark throne finally happened and Y/N thought it went rather well apart from her father’s outburst at Vaemond Velaryon, resulting in him losing his head; Half of it, more like. On the brighter side of things, both Jace and Luke were now betrothed. This left her, one of the eldest among her half-siblings, as the one who was still not betrothed. Though unbeknownst to the rest, she was already courting the prince Aemond for the past two days.

The king Viserys, despite his illness, had been present and spoke in favour of Luke. He then requested for the entire family to come together for dinner. As delighted as Y/N was about the notion, her half-brothers did not seem as keen and to some extent, even Aemond; though, he did not make his displeasure as evident.

When the evening came, everyone made themselves present in the dining hall which was well-lit and mildly decorated for the grand dinner.

Aemond sat down at his spot by the head of the table but not before he went out of his way to pull a chair for Y/N, a polite gesture that had almost everyone looking at the pair with confused expressions. All but Viserys of course, who seemed rather pleased to see them get along so well.

Helaena and Aegon sat at Aemond's right, followed by Y/N next to Aegon after which Jace sat and Baela next to him.

At the foot of the table, right across Aemond sat Luke and Rhaena.

At Aemond's left was his grandfather and then his mother. Then sat the king after which was Rhaenyra and Daemon.

Alicent said she wished to pray before they dined to which everyone closed their eyes and joined their hands.

Except Luke, he scanned everyone like a curious puppy until his eyes met with Y/N's.

'Close your eyes' she mouthed across the table.

Luke simply raised a brow and made a face that said 'you're one to talk'

As soon as the prayer was done with, Aegon poured himself some wine before pouring some for Y/N as well. Aemond politely refused, he wasn’t too keen on drinking that evening but his brother poured him a glass anyway.

The adults each raised a toast to one another and Aemond couldn't care less. He was far more captivated by Y/N who looked absolutely breathtaking in the lilac gown she'd picked for that evening. Unknown to everyone else, she was wearing a sleek leather bracelet around her wrist that Aemond fashioned himself from one of the straps of his old eye patches. He promised he would get a proper bracelet made for even though Y/N found this handmade one far more precious and adorable.

"Y/N dear" the king called out to which the girl quickly responded to with a 'yes'.

"Both your step brothers are betrothed now" he took his time while speaking "you are the oldest among them, why haven't you found yourself a husband? You are of age"

"Well I've never been in much of a hurry to marry" the princess simply smiled. And also because all these years I'd taken a mild fancy to your son, she thought to herself.

"Ah, you are so similar to my boy Aemond. Never too keen to rush into marriage" The king turned to look at him "Don’t you agree?"

Aemond responded with a simple 'hmm'.

Perhaps this dinner wasn’t such a bad idea, he thought. He in fact liked where this conversation was heading and by the eager gaze Y/N was giving the king, it was evident that she too had the same hope of where her uncle was going with this.

Yet, what the king said after diminished both their spirits.

"We should host a feast in the next few days to find a suitable match for the princess Y/N!"

Y/N, who was taking a sip of her wine, nearly spat it back into her cup. While Aemond's lips parted ever so slightly with disappointment. His father had clearly mentioned that his second son too wasn’t betrothed yet the king only seemed keen on seeing Daemon's daughter wed. What about his own son? Heck, did he not even view Aemond as a worthy candidate for her hand?

"Splendid idea" Daemon smiled, approving the idea after he saw no argument arise from his daughter.

Y/N and Aemond exchanged nervous glances.

Aemond was tempted to blurt out that Y/N was his and his alone, that they were in fact already courting. The last thing he wanted was for a dozen men to swarm her, placing their unworthy hands all over with the excuse of a dance. Granted Y/N would merely be putting on a show, he knew he couldn’t bare looking at her dance or laugh her evening away with other lords.

While Aemond tried to calm down his irritation, Aegon stood up from his chair and walked over next to Jace to serve himself some wine and engaged himself in a conversation with Baela.

"I regret the disappointment you are soon to suffer" he spoke in a hushed tone, making sure the rest of his family did not hear him "but if you ever wish to know what it is to be well satisfied all you have to do is ask"

Jace slammed his palms face down on the table as a response, gaining everyone's attention. The boy looked around before reaching for his cup to make it seem like he was about to give a toast.

He forced a smile as he playfully punched Aegon's arm.

Quiet the actor indeed.

"To prince Aegon and prince Aemond" he carried on with his agonisingly painful act "we have not seen each other in years but I have fond memories of our shared youth. And as men, I hope we may yet be friends and allies. To you and your family's good health, dear uncles"

"To you as well" Aegon responded with almost no emotion, slightly embarrassed now about his attempt at wooing his betrothed.

Y/N knew Aegon could be a lot to handle at times but she was glad that her Jace handled it maturely.

"I would like to toast to Baela and Rhaena. They'll be married soon" Helaena stood up, cup in hand "it isn't so bad, mostly he just ignores you. Except sometimes when he's drunk"

Aegon covered his face with embarrassment while the others awkwardly stared at the pair. Daemon shamelessly laughed, making Aegon feel even more embarrassed. Jace looked apologetically at Helaena before he excused himself from the table to ask her for a dance, an attempt at lifting her spirits.

Aegon helplessly looked at Aemond, feeling as though he should've been the one to ask Helaena for a dance. Aemond just stared at him that made his response obvious. Yes it should’ve been you who'd asked her for a dance.

The king excused himself for the remainder of the evening as he retired to his chambers, suddenly feeling too weak to sit for the rest of the evening at the table.

Aemond watched Y/N who seemed engrossed in a conversation with Baela. He knew she liked to dance but he was hesitant to ask her for one. As a boy, his mother had him take lessons along with his other sibling and though Aemond was never a shabby dancer, it changed after the loss of his eye. He had to re-learn almost everything from being able to write, horse ride, fight and even dancing.

Even with the loss of an eye, Aemond was still a good dancer but his only drawback was that he needed his partner to stay at his right almost at all times, making him quite a difficult person to partner up with for a dance. He would agree to take the lead, but most of the dances were pre-rehearsed and he would have to inform his partner well in advance that he wasn’t going to follow the uniform routine and improvise most of it, something that most found inconvenient.

The servants continued to bring more food to the table, out of which one of the dishes happened to be roast pig, that was placed right in front of where Aemond sat.

Aemond happened to glance at Luke just for a moment only to see that twat of a prince snickering at him upon seeing the pig. The nerve this boy had to laugh at him in reference to his contribution to years worth of bullying. Not to mention this was the very same boy who'd maimed him for life and was let off the hook with absolutely no consequences.

Aemond slammed the table with his fist, the sound so loud that it made Y/N jolt. He slowly stood up, grabbing his goblet of wine that was untouched this entire time.

"Final tribute" he raised his arm with the cup as he glared at Luke "to the health of my nephews Jace, Luke and Joffrey. Each of them handsome, wise..."

He glanced at the two boys before continuing, his voice staying ever so calm.

"Strong"

"Aemond" Queen Alicent tried to interrupt.

"Come," Aemond went on despite his mother making her displeasure obvious and urging that he shouldn't push it "let us drain our cups to these three strong boys-"

"I dare you to say that again" Jace snapped at him, glaring menacingly at the older prince.

Darling Helaena did not seem to catch on to the insult at first as she smiled, bringing her hands together to clap before Jace's interruption had her pause and think on it for a minute.

Jace was trying to control his temper but it was a challenge every time he looked at Aemond and his shit-eating grin.

"Why? 'Twas only a compliment" Aemond shrugged, taking it a little too far now "do you not think yourself strong?"

Jace finally let his anger get the best of him and he stomped toward Aemond and punched him along the jaw in a fit of rage.

"Jace!" Y/N was up in an instant, obviously not expecting him to resort to any physical violence.

Aemond barely flinched, in fact he seemed quiet amused at the horrible punch Jace threw at him. It was so weak that even the wine in his chalice never spilled upon the impact.

He simply pushed the boy, not wanting to mirror his violent approach and engage in a fist fight that he knew he'd win. That simple push against the chest was a display enough of his brute strength since it sent Jace straight to the floor.

Luke stood up to aid his brother but Aegon was already up and by his side, slamming Luke's head against the table.

"That is enough!" Alicent yelled at Aegon and she stood up from her chair, Rhaenyra doing the same.

"Why would you say such a thing?" Y/N walked towards Aemond, placing her hand on his upper arm.

"I was only expressing how proud I am of my family princess" Aemond innocently stated as he pretended he was unaware of what she was referring to whilst quickly pulling his hand out of her grasp "though it seems my nephews aren't quite as proud of theirs"

He turned around to menacingly stare at them as the king's guard restrained them.

"Wait, Wait!" Daemon interrupted the mess, stepping in between Aemond and Jace, who was still struggling to break away from the guards to throw another punch at Aemond.

"Go to your quarters" Rhaenyra sounded exhausted "All of you go, now"

Y/N watched the boys each leave as Baela and Rhaena followed. She cast one last look toward Aemond and shook her head as she exhaled a disappointed sigh. Thank you for making it any easier to tell our parents of our courtship, she mentally scolded at him before she too left the room.

Over the course of the next few days when everyone busied themselves with the preparations of the grand feast that would be held for Y/N in hopes that she found a suitor, she'd had begun to ignore Aemond- still rather upset about his outburst at the dinner. Aemond noticed that despite her silence toward him, she still wore that leather bracelet. That meant she still liked him, right?

On the evening of the feast, the castle was bustling with nobles, most of who had turned up in hopes in winning the hand of the princess Y/N.

The girl had worn a rather beautiful gown of a dusty rose colour with silver and rose gold embellishments. Amidst her dainty and expensive jewellery she had her leather bracelet around her wrist that no one could conclude as to why she decided to adorn such a haggard accessory amidst her priceless jewels; all except for her paramour Aemond.

Aemond found it almost unbearable to watch the men try their luck with his princess. He scoffed when one of the young lords from house Blackwood made a joke to which Y/N laughed. Even though they had been apart for years, it took only these past few days to grow close to Y/N, enough for him to know that she was mere faking her laughter.

The lad couldn’t make a joke to save himself, Aemond scoffed. God's if maybe he’d kept his cool at that horrendous dinner maybe it would be him who had Y/N on his arm and not any of these idiots.

"The evening is going rather well, won’t you agree?" Aegon playfully punched Aemond's arm as he came to stand next to him. The older boy noticed his brother glaring at each man who had spoken to or danced with Y/N so far "If you had a sword, I'd be willing to bet fifty gold dragons that half the young lords here would be beheaded for so much as breathing in the direction of your lady. Though I’m sure you’ve already executed most of them mentally"

"Please do not attempt to aggravate me, it would only fail" Aemond heaved a sigh, quite obviously not in a mood for his older brother's antics "why don’t you go find some cosy corner to get drunk in?"

"I'm afraid the corner I pick would be the same one you’ll want for yourself and Y/N in a bit" Aegon winked, hinting at an indecent scenario "She's already annoyed at you. You proceeding to avoid any further conversation only allows for these other arses to warm their way into a marriage pact with her"

"Please, you honestly believe they pose a threat to me?" Aemond raised a brow. If only you knew of all the scandalous things we've done, the places of her body I've kissed and left marks that none of these lords will ever see, Aemond smirked to himself.

"Well from my point of view, they’re making her smile and laugh whilst twirling her about on the dance floor while all you’re doing is moping in the distance" Aegon took a sip of his wine "she's going to want a husband who talks and not just observes her from afar like some watchdog"

Aemond was about to argue some more but he didn’t know what he could possibly say, he hated it when his brother was right. Aegon then proceeded to talk some more, rubbing it in further that Aemond was going to lose Y/N to another and the one-eyed prince had had enough of his brother. With a frustrated grunt and an 'excuse me' he pushed past the sea of nobles to make his way toward Y/N who was currently talking to one a young man, Lionel of house Baratheon.

"Princess" Aemond's gaze softened when his eyes met Y/N's and he didn’t even bother addressing the lord stood next to him nor did he apologise for the interruption. He couldn’t care less if Lionel took offence to Aemond stealing the princess away. The Targaryen prince held out his hand to the girl, his eye never leaving hers "care for a dance?"

Y/N, despite being cross with him couldn’t hold back the smile creeping to her lips. Aemond, someone who hated dancing had asked her for one. Besides, she wasn’t interested in a single person with who she’d conversed with so far that evening, her heart belonged to Aemond. She completely forgot her mannerisms and did not bother to excuse herself from the conversation she was already engaged in with Lionel. She had in fact forgotten his existence as she slid her hand into Aemond's large one.

The two were so enthralled with each other that they missed the scoff Lionel let slip.

As they walked toward the centre of the hall where the others danced, he pulled the girl closer into him to whisper something into her ear. "I prefer having my partner at my right side and out of my blind spot while dancing" his lips brushed against Y/N's ear that made her heart flutter "I will lead the dance, I do hope that won't cause you any inconvenience"

Y/N did not care. She would dance with a blindfold on if he'd asked for her to, though she would never reveal that love-sick side of hers. She simply responded with a 'No worries my prince, you may lead the dance'.

Aemond held her by the small of her waist as he stepped closer, playing close attention to the music as he began to move in step with the beat of the drums.

"You’re rather good at this" Y/N noted after a few minutes as they hooked arms around the elbows, twirling in a half circle. So far he hadn’t bumped into her nor stepped over her toes and even though he wasn’t following the routine of the dance, his improvised movements matched perfectly to the rhythm of the music.

"Thank you Princess" he beamed at her earnest complement.

"Thought you didn’t like dancing" Y/N asked with a playful smirk as they turned to press their back against each other.

"I don’t," Aemond chuckled before he raised his arms, mirroring Y/N's movement as they took three steps away from each other before turning around once more to face and walk toward each other. Aemond pressed the right side of his torso against Y/N's, snaking one arm around her waist while he tucked his other behind his back. Y/N had her one arm halfway around his neck, cupping his face slightly as her other arm was raised elegantly at her side while they circled around clockwise.

"Unless I am to dance with you" Aemond grinned, his lips grazing Y/N's skin from how close their faces were. After the completion of one circle, they had to switch sides so that Y/N would have to drape her other arm around his neck and shift toward his left but Aemond gripped her waist tighter and his face got dangerously close "I need you at my right, remember?"

"Of course" Y/N breathed out, almost as a whisper. She could lean in just a touch and capture his lips with her own. As tempting as it was, she just averted her gaze and smiled as she felt the heat rise to her cheeks.

When the dance ended, Aemond brought her hand to his lips to place a gentle kiss to her knuckles as he held his gaze, a lingering smile adorning his face.

Y/N excused herself for a moment so that she could grab a drink and catch her breath. Aemond asked for her to wait in the balcony and offered to bring her some wine himself. Whilst the princess awaited her prince, lord Lionel saw a perfect chance to once again talk to the girl.

"Princess" he smiled as he walked upto her and Y/N had to resist the urge to roll her eyes in irritation. He clearly wasn’t one to give up, unlike the others who saw Aemond and Y/N getting too touchy on the dance floor and did not wish to cross the one-eyed prince "Finally I've got you to myself again"

Y/N raised a brow at his comment but then quickly composed herself.

"I was rather displeased with you leaving so abruptly earlier" he chuckled "but no matter, I won’t hold that against you"

Hold it against me? Y/N thought I couldn’t care less about what your thought of me.

"I believe I had promised prince Aemond another dance" the young girl tried to take her leave, not at all interested in spending any more time with Lionel, he was a bore anyway "I hope you enjoy the rest of the eve-"

"You and the prince aren’t as slick as you both think you are" he chuckled and Y/N did not like the sudden shift in his tone from warm to cold all of a sudden. Yet, she was intrigued by what he was trying to say.

"What do you mean?" she curiously asked.

"There are spies sprawled all across the realm, spies that have revealed to me the scandalous pursuits you and the prince have indulged in when you felt no one was looking" the boy had a shit-eating grin on his face and Y/N had the sudden urge to fling him off the balcony "it would be a shame if word of your impurity was to slip"

"You dare threaten me?" Y/N snapped almost instantly. Granted Aemond and her did get really intimate a lot, but he had not yet taken her virtue "what makes you think people would believe the lies of a lamb over the word of a dragon?"

"Do you really wish to put it to the test?" Lionel crossed his arms as he took a step toward her "Your reputation would be ruined and leave yourself quite undesirable to take as a wife. Of course, I would be willing to save you the torment should you agree to wed me. I will ensure your days will be joyous under my care and protection"

"I think it would be best if you left" the princess coldly spoke.

Daemon had caught sight of his daughter entangled in a conversation with Lionel and judging by her body language, she did not seem like she was enjoying the conversation. He walked upto them, interrupting what seemed to be upon a closer look, an argument.

"Iksis tolvie run sȳz?" Daemond asked.

'Is everything alright?'

"Prince Daemon" Lionel smiled, though there was nothing genuine about it "I was just-"

"I wasn’t talking to you" Daemond harshly cut him off.

"Daor kepa," Y/N spoke "nyke pendagon issa sȳrje lo mazēza zȳhon henujagon"

'No father, I think its best if he were to leave'

"As much as we were delighted to have your presence" Daemon lazily spoke to the lord "perhaps it would be best if you took your leave, lord Lionel"

"I just agreed to wed your daughter" the boy's tone went back to hostile "something you won’t find many doing when they find out about her scandalous affair with the prince Aemond"

Daemon wasted no time in seizing the boy by his upper arm and dragging him further away from the party and more toward the outskirts of the balcony. He did not care if what the lord was saying was true or not but for the sake of his daughter's reputation he did not want anyone hearing him speak of this.

"You are playing a dangerous game" the rogue prince growled as he shoved the lord away from him. Lionel, not take the warning.

"I speak only the truth. She is not yet promised to anyone" he pointed toward Y/N, raising his voice to a point where it reached the people inside the grand hall. Y/N grew nervous when she heard the loud voices die down a notch, signalling that most of the nobles were engrossed in this ongoing argument "wed her to me and I will spare her the shame; or maybe she wishes to be given the title of a wh-"

"You will watch your tongue when you speak to my princess"

Aemond stormed forward, his voice drowning out Lionel's. Y/N immediately turned to look at him when he referred to her as his, hinting to the public that they were courting. Daemon raised a brow at this but did not pose a question, he was pre occupied with the mess that arse of a lord had made.

"Come now" Lionel grinned in a challenging manner "you know I do not lie when I speak of your little affai-"

Daemon almost punched Lionel square in the face but Aemond beat him to it, landing a hard planter and breaking his nose that sent the boy straight to the ground. Aemond did not stop and continued to thrash him until Daemon called for the King's guard.

"Take the young lord to his carriage" Daemon told one of the guards who hoisted the bloodied and bruised boy to his feet "he is no longer a guest at this feast"

Y/N was taken aback by Aemond's outburst but she did not question his reaction. She too had begun to lose her patience with the Baratheon lord and knew that if Aemond hadn’t punched him, she most certainly would and by the looks of it, her father too seemed to be impressed by the damage Aemond caused.

"The next man who dares calumniate my betrothed" Aemond turned to address the crowd who had all turned their attention towards his little brawl "shall be thrown straight into the jaws of Vhagar, this is not a threat but a promise"

The deafening silence lasted about a few moments before queen Alicent ordered for the musicians to start playing once again to diffuse the tense atmosphere. She was still slightly puzzled as to when the agreement to a betrothal took place between her son and the princess. The only one for now who seemed happy was Aegon.

Y/N and Aemond then nervously turned toward Daemon, unsure of how he would react toward Aemond claiming that Y/N was his betrothed. They were half expecting for him to oppose but instead he reacted quiet differently.

"Congratulations on your engagement, tala" (daughter) Daemon smiled as he looked at the young girl who seemed surprised at his response "although, I do need to have a talk with your betrothed later. A little chat, man to man"

And with that he left the both of them at the balcony.

"He seemed to take that well" Aemond heaved a sigh before turning toward Y/N "I'm sorry I got carried away and I never asked-"

"It's alright" Y/N giggled as she looked up at him "tis not too late to do it properly"

Aemond cleared his throat, taking her hands in his as he looked down at her tenderly. He had meant to ask her tonight, he’d even rehearsed a little speech of which he hoped he still remembered all the words.

"Y/N, iksā se drīve pāsan isse jorrāelagon, se drīve pāsan kostan sagon jorrāelatan. Iksā se ēlī run nyke pendagon hen skori nyke jiōragon bē, se se mēre nyke ūndegon skori nyke ēdrugon. Se nyke jaelagon naejot spend mirre hen ñuha tubissa ondoso aōha paktot. Kessa ao ivestragī nyke jorrāelagon ao se ñuhoso ao gūrogon naejot sagon se gūrogon nyke hae aōha valzȳrys?"

'You are the reason I believe in love, the reason I believe I can be loved. You are the first thing I think of when I get up, and the one I dream of when I sleep. And I wish to spend all of my days by your side. Will you let me love you the way you deserve to be and take me as your husband?'

Y/N had never before felt her heart race the way it was in that moment and she smiled widely before flinging her arms around his neck, pulling him in for a kiss.

"I'm guessing that’s a yes?" Aemond chuckled into the kiss as he spun her around in his arms.

"Kessa"

'Yes'

Taglist: @iiamthehybrid @lilostif16 @malfoytargaryen @svtansdaddyx

#aemond targaryen #ewan mitchell #ewan nation #hotd #house of the dragon #aemond #tom bennett #world on fire #aemond smut #prince aemond #aemond x fem!reader #aemond x you #aemond x y/n #aegon x reader #daemon #daemon targeryen x reader

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