#hello i once again rambled for a million years

[apollyonsdarksecrets]

The Lead Up And The Follow Through

Part One, Part Two, Part Three, Part Four, Part Five , Part Six, Part Seven

Summery: She’s reserved, emotionally cut off, and spiraling down a dark path; one she can’t get out of on her own. Aaron Hotchner may be her only help, but at what cost? When he shows up to her hotel room, contact in hand, she realizes it may be more than what she bargained for.

Warning: 18+ Only MDNI SMUT. Language, BDSM, Dom Aaron, emotionally detached reader, typical CM violence, childhood trauma, abusive father figure, age gap (reader 25 Aaron 40) doesn’t line up with a specific time line, use of Y/n because story is set in 3rd person for the first half then switches POV, last name for reader is Smith,

Specific Chapter Warnings: more sugar daddy Aaron, collaring (squeeeee) Aaron being a tease, reader getting dressed up, Haley and Jack mentioned, mentions of eating, alcohol, spanking, fingering (f receiving), orgasm ( f receiving) crying, after care, Let me know if I missed anything!

AN: There is a lot to unpack in this chapter obviously! The story will have about one to two more parts, I seriously can’t thank y’all enough for the support and love thrown my way, y’all make a girl cry 😭💜

4 Years Ago.

She stares down at the book in her hand, after hours of studying she can barely keep the words from swimming around the pages. It’s late, or rather early, her final tests in the afternoon and she’s cramming whatever she can in. Her anxiety peaking with each tick of the clock on the wall.

The last few years have all worked up to this point, graduating with her masters in child psychology and becoming an FBI agent. Years she has spent isolated yet focused on her one goal, her one chance to become more than what everyone thought she could be.

Y/n rubs at her eyes, taking a steadying breath as she leans back into the wooden chair.

‘I can do this, I can do this, I can-.’

A shrill noise interrupts her thoughts, her entire body jolting in a brief moment of fear as the telephone on the night stand continues to ring. Her eyebrows come together in confused annoyance, wondering who could be calling her at such a ridiculous hour. Stretching out of her chair she’s able to grab the receiver, barely registering the wobble of her chair as she settles back in.

“Hello?”

“Y/n?” A deep scratchy voice comes through, noises beyond the man’s voice making him a little muffled but utterly recognizable. Y/n feels her throat constrict, everything stopping around her, as her heart begins to pound. “Y/n, is dad. I need help. I’ve gotten myself in some trouble.”

She stairs ahead at the wall, unable to focus on whatever is being said as the blood rushes through her ears. Her hands begin to shake, the tremors going from light to violent in a matter of seconds as her father continues to ramble on.

“- I’m at the police station now, they aren’t letting me bail myself I just need you-.”

Y/n doesn’t remember standing, all she realizes is that she is slamming the receiver down with concerning force. Her chest rises and falls quickly, the room spinning around her as she stands rooted to her spot on the dingy hard wood floor of her cheap little apartment.

A million questions will bombard her later. How did he find her? Who tipped him off? When will he call again? But she can’t think of those things now, she can’t dwell on the unknown when the path of her future will be forged in just a few short hours.

Y/n forces her legs to move back to her desk, planting herself in her chair and picking up the book once more. The room doesn’t stop spinning.

*~*~*~*~*~*

Y/n taps her food against the polished floor, her lip worried between her teeth, her eyes darting to the door to the administrator’s office every few minutes. Not unlike the rest of the young adults in the hall along with her.

Some are playing it calmer than she is, then there are some who are practically in tears. A certain brunette is sitting across from Y/n with a wide smile plastered to her face.

“It’s okay, you know.” Melissa Pharway, the girl who peaked in high school and never grew out of her Queen-Bee phase, looks pointedly to Y/n, her shoulders back and her head held high. Y/n only glances her way, not bothering to entice Melissa on because she will do so herself. “Things like this are hard for people with your… background.”

Y/n’s jaw ticks, but she doesn’t respond. Only a few months into school had a rumor spread about where Y/n was from, then it had escalated into how Y/n was able to get into the schools, and things only got hectic from there.

She always thought things couldn’t get any worse after high school. Melissa has proven her wrong.

“It’s sweet, how hard you have tried, but as it’s been said before.” Melissa snorts at her own thoughts, crossing her long legs and leaning back against the cement brick wall. “Some people just aren’t mean to be here. And hey? If you fail? There’s always next year.”

“Y/n Smith?”

Y/n’s head jerks up, the admin, a very short round woman, stands by the door. Y/n stands, wiping her clammy hands down her pants legs before following the woman into her office. The name on the door reading, Suzan Mitchel.

Mrs. Mitchel takes a seat at her large desk, gesturing for Y/n to sit in one of the green wing backed chairs. Her office is decorated with nicknacks from the woman’s life, the walls a deep green and the hardwood floors stained nearly black. The room is honestly cozy, the walls lined with books, and photos.

“Now… You’ve had quite a go these past few years. Making near perfect scores in all of your classes, balancing training for the agency along with your doctoral degree in Psychology.”

Y/n nods her head, her hands clasped in her lap, her eyes trained on the stacks of papers in front of her. Mrs. Mitchel adjusts the glasses resting on her nose before grabbing the first paper on the stack, her steely eye glancing up at the young woman in front of her.

“I’m pleased say it has payed off. You have made valedictorian.”

Y/n’s jaw drops, the first real sense of accomplishment rushing over her. She feels her eyes sting, and she forces herself to take slow breaths to control her emotions.

Mrs. Mitches laughs lightly, passing Y/n’s tests to her with a large smile. “It’s okay to celebrate dear. You deserve it.”

Y/n give her a stoic smile, her lower lip wobbling ever so slightly. “Thank you, ma’am, but the hard work is only just beginning.”

She thanks Mrs. Mitchel as she leaves the office, a confidence in her walk that she has never felt before as she passes the still smug smiling girl from earlier. A moment of bravado steals through her as she slows to a stop, leaning close to Melissa making the girls face scrunch in confusion. “There’s always next year.”

Melissa’s face falls completely, watching as Y/n straightens and marches off, her shoulders thrown back and chin lifted.

*~*~*~*~*~*

3 and 1/2 years ago

Derek Morgan scrubs at his face, staring at the screen in front of him with evident frustration. “I don’t get it.” His voice suddenly so loud beside Y/n makes her eyes flick up, but she says nothing as she continues to scan through her reports. “Strauss wants us doing all of this paper work for what? We never did any of this before.”

Y/n smiles slightly, leaning back in her chair as Prentiss chimes in. “What? Turned off by a little typing? Not enough action for ya?”

Morgan gives you a halfhearted glare, locking his hands behind his head as he mimics Y/n’s relaxed posture. “Now you know damn well I am a man of words.”

“And such big game.” The moment the words slip free of Y/n’s lips her face flushes a dark shade, Morgan’s mouth falling open as Prentiss cackles, slapping her hand over her mouth to muffle the noise. “I’m… I’m sorry that-.”

Before she can say anything else her cellphone rings and Morgan shakes his finger at her sheepish face. “Saved by the bell, girl.”

Y/n flips open her phone without glancing at the screen, pressing it to her ear. “Smith.”

“Y/n, oh thank God.”

Her eyes widen, Morgan’s easy smile falling as they lock eyes. Y/n quickly looks away but it’s too late, the man across from her has noticed. “What’s wrong?”

“I know you’re there look… I need you to listen to me, you dad needs a little help.” Dread drops hard in her stomach like a ball of lead, sending acid up her throat. Her skin is suddenly white as if she’d seen a ghost and Prentiss comes around the desk a the worry etched on Morgan’s face.

“Help?” Y/n’s voice doesn’t sound right to her own ears, distance and hallow.

“I need money, girl. I’m going to lose the house, you’re making it big now. I know you are, you can help your father after all the years I’ve spent helping you.”

Rage. Y/n feels her blood boil, her heart hammering in different parts of her body. She lowers her phone, holding it tight between her hands before snapping it at the hinges. Prentiss jumps slightly at the sudden action, Morgan’s eyebrows shooting up in disbelief.

Y/n stands on surprisingly sturdy legs, dropping the remnants off her phone into the black waste basket beside her desk before rushing off, leaving her coworkers dumbfounded.

Present Day

You’re up well before Aaron calls you, folding your clothes into neat stacks, trying to decide what will fit into your go bag, and what you will have to carry in the bags from the store. The ringer goes off, a short simple melody playing repeatedly until you pick it up.

“Hello?”

“Good morning.” His voice sounds thick with sleep. “Would you like to go get some coffee with me?” The thought of caffeine after being up most of the night, bulling through what was left of your work, and going back to Aaron’s text more times than you would like to count; sounds like heaven to your tired body.

“Uh yeah, I could go for a pick me up.”

There’s shuffling on the other end. “Be there in 15.” The phone goes quiet with a soft beep and you glance at the stacks on your bed. Disrupting your organization, you quickly find a pair of black leggings and a long merlot colored sweater. You change from your night gown, throwing your hair into a messy bun right as his knuckles connect with your door. You snatch your phone and wallet from the table before shoving your sock clad feet into your boots and pulling the door open.

The sight of Aaron looking down at you as soon as you open the door is begging to feel too routine. You close your door firmly then square your shoulders with a deep breath as you turn to face him. “Morning.”

Aaron chuckles and reaches up, brushing a stray lock of hair behind your ear. “Sounds like your reporting to a firing squad.” You don’t want to say he is wrong.

“I just… I didn’t get a lot of sleep.” Aaron’s raised eyebrow makes you cringe inwardly, realizing you should have used another excuse that wasn’t breaking one of your new rules.

“Oh? And why is that?”

“Just… I’ve been doing a lot of work.” You turn away, fidgeting with your phone and Aaron gives you a small grunt of disapproval, your shoulders tightening. “I’m going to go ahead and assume that’s three?”

“You’re catching on.”

*~*~*~*~*~*

Despite the shine of the sun peaking through the clouds it’s still miserably frigid. You both pile into the car as quickly as possible, the first few minutes spent in shivering silence as you wait for the heat to kick in.

Aaron begins pulling out of the parking spot, navigating the parking deck onto the street, his hand resting on the center console close to your thigh. “What was it like where you grew up?” His question snaps your attention away from his long fingers and you scold yourself mentally, turning your gaze to the grey dashboard.

“Pretty quiet I suppose. I’m from a small town in Mississippi, so there were a lot of woods, creeks, things of that sort. My street was pretty sparse, house wise… could shout to your neighbor if you really needed them.” The memories that came along with thinking of your rule little farming town were a mixture of good and bad. Good things being the long days playing in creek beds catching frogs, hiking a little to far into the woods when the leaves changed colors; winter time wondering if snow would fall.

All sunshine before the storm.

Aaron hums beside you. “My home was very suburban. White House’s with white fences.” You look over, he’s smiling faintly and you can’t help studying the sharp angles of his face, the lines around his lips and the crows feet by his eyes. “My brother and I use to get into a lot of trouble, the big city just a half our away, always had our mother on edge.”

“That sounds nice, I guess where I live now is pretty much the low end version of that. There is a back yard for Bruce though, and that’s what really matters in the end.” You say with a shrug, watching the streetlights change. A wave of people cross in front of the car, some on their phones, some talking to others, but most of them with their heads down just trying to get where they are going.

“So you’ve had him since he was a puppy?” Aaron throws on his turn signal as the light changes, pulling onto a busy street.

“I found him when he was maybe two months old. There’s this park I use to go to back home, he came running out of the bushes at me, he looked awful and there was no way I was leaving him as the weather was starting to get cold. Took him straight to the vet and he’s been my boy ever since.”

Aaron glances over at you, catching your eye with a smile. “I’ve never owned any animals, unless you count Jack’s goldfish.”

The thought of SSA Aaron Hotchner leaning over a small fishbowl, shaking a container of food has you smiling. “Depends… have you taught him any tricks?”

Aaron laughs, the noise filling up the space pulling your own chuckle from you as he navigates the street, pulling over as a cozy little coffee shop comes into view.

Inside the air is warm and smells heavily of coffee beans and syrups, there’s a small line and behind the bar are workers hurting to and fro with smiles. The menu is above the register, the different selections printed in colorful chalk making both you and Aaron squint to read it.

“What are you thinking?” He asks, placing his hand on your lower back to usher you forward as the line dwindles. “And don’t just say black coffee.” Your glare is met with a sideways smile.

“Um… well something hot.” You can feel his thumb rubbing slow circles through your sweater, and you wonder if he realizes he’s doing it. “Caramel mocha, extra caramel.”

Aaron grins, pressing in closer to your side. “Sound sweet, like you.”

You scoff loudly looking up into his brown eyes. “Sweet like me? That’s like saying your a bag of sunshine and kittens, doesn’t fit does it?”

Aaron’s grin turns devilish, he dips his head to your ear, warm breath scattering across your cheek as he whispers. “Who said I was talking about your attitude?”

Blood pools in your cheeks, your eyes widening as Aaron straightens and nudges you to the counter. He graciously orders for the both of you, your tongue tied and thoughts boiling, but by the time you both sit at a small table all you can manage is; “That was low.”

“Low? Honey that was just me telling the truth.” He smirks at your glare, enjoying the stain on your skin and the way you squirm in your seat.

You fidget with your hands under the table, eyes dipping away. “That wasn’t supposed to happen…”

“The part where you slapped me or the part where we kissed?”

You gape, leaning across the table to whisper vehemently. “We didn’t kiss, you kissed me. And I didn’t slap you on purpose it was just… instinct. You startled me.”

Aaron scoffs light, his gaze flicking to the pick up counter as a young woman calls out another name. “Glad you didn’t have your gun then.” Before you can snap back Aaron’s name is being called and he’s leaving the table. Letting you stew in your anger as he grabs your drinks. When he returns you look up at him, simmering.

“You’re a jerk.”

“I’ve been called much worse, come on let’s go.”

*~*~*~*~*~*

“Why are we at a shoe store?” Your annoyance leaks into your words as Aaron leads you a few stores down from the coffee shop.

“You need shoes for your dress.” He murmurs, taking a sip of his coffee.

“I have some nice heels at home that would go great with the dress, I don’t need anything else.” You protest, spinning to face him. The street is pretty empty given its a Thursday morning, and you don’t have to fear someone over hearing any potentially scandalous comments.

“Those are at home, you need shoes for dinner tonight… unless you plan on wearing those?” He gives your warn in boots a pointed look, your eyebrows curling in confusion and annoyance.

“When did we agree to go to dinner?”

“When I bought you that dress.”

“That was never brought up!” You pinch the bridge of your nose in frustration.

Aaron snags your elbow, leading you towards the doors. “Well it has been now. We are eating at 7.”

Silently you are screaming every foul name you know at him as the doors close behind you both. A happy voice greats you making your head swivel in the direction of the counters. “Good morning! How can I help you?” A young man, possibly a few year older than you leans on the counter with a toothy grin, his dark skin glowing under the fluorescent lights.

Aaron squeezes your elbow, encouraging you to speak. “I’m looking for a pair of heels is all.” The man’s smile doesn’t waver in the slightest as he stands up straight, beckoning you with a long arm.

“Right this way ma’am.”

“You go ahead, I need to run next door and pick something up for tonight.” Aaron turns away from you and you spin around, your hand resting on your hip as you point your coffee at him.

“First you surprise me with a dinner date and now you’re being secretive?”

Aaron throws you a wink over his shoulder as he leaves the store, the mental image of you hurling your drink at the back of his head leaving your hands trembling.

*~*~*~*~*~*

The store clerk, Donavan, was more than happy to show you the different types of heels he had in stock. He was sweet and genuine, if a little too talkative. You’re sure he wins over every customer that comes in with his charming attitude.

By the time Aaron has made it back you’ve settled on a pair of black strapped heels, nothing too over the top and you can wear them with anything. Aaron meets you at the register, wallet in one hand and a small white bag in the other. Your eyebrows raise.

You thank Donavan again as you both leave, stepping back out into the cold. You can’t take your eyes off of the white plastic bag, your curiosity to enticed. “What is it?”

“Hmm?” Aaron replies, pretending not to notice your obvious stare.

Rolling your eyes you drop your empty cup into a trash can as you walk by, moving the shoe bag to your free hand as you gesture to him. “The bag. What is it?” Aaron ignores you as he fishes for the keys in his oversized coat, your annoyance flaring. “Aaron?”

“Curiosity killed the cat, you know?” The cars alarm beeps once as he unlocks it, walking around to pull your door open.

“Satisfaction brought it back.” You finish pointedly, climbing into the passenger seat. Aaron grins down at you before dropping the bag into your lap. He shuts the door and you wait tensely until he’s in the driver seat to open the gift.

Inside is a large red velvet box, the kind only used for jewelry. Tentatively your fingers trace over the lid before you glance up to Aaron, he’s leaning casually against the center consul, but something is swimming in those dark irises. “Go ahead.”

You stuck in a breath and flip the lid, only to have the air stolen from your lungs entirely. A beautiful silver necklace lays atop white fabric, a circular pendant in the center, encrusted with black gems. Looking closer you can see the chain is weaved with black as well. Your finger traces the cool mental in awe.

“Aaron… this is…”

“I hoped you would like it.” His voice is warm and thick as he watches you pluck the necklace from the box and lay it out in your hand.

“I do… I mean it’s so pretty…” You didn’t own jewelry, not that you didn’t find things pretty, it just was never a for thought with the line or work you did. “Thank you.” You go for the clasp and your eyebrows draw up, an even smaller circle is at the back, a hexagon pressed in it and you turn it over. “How do I unclasp it?”

Aaron reaches over, taking it from you gently along with the box. “You’re welcome, you unclasp it with… this” He pulls out a small tool, and your confusion only grows at the sight of the Allen Wrench. “When most Doms and Subs get into a relationship, or a contract, the sub will usually wear something that signifies that, along with other things. Some wear bracelets or anklets. Some have more prominent pieces like leather collars. This though, is plain enough that no one will question it, but still hold that same significance.”

Aaron unscrews the small bolt, laying it in his large palm, his eyes swirling with something that makes every never in your body fire all at once. “You’re… collaring me?” The disbelief in your voice doesn’t waver him for a second, he simply nods. Your face scrunches up, ready to reject the idea.

“Think of it this way. It will help remind you that I am here for you, you have someone to lean on, to trust in, to go to when you need it. It’s just as much for you as it is for me.”

Your heart pounds in your ears, your attention hyper focused on the delicate chain as he holds it up, the metal catching the sunlight. You don’t say anything in response, you know you’re supposed to be compliant, this is what you’ve agreed to after all; but you can’t stop the feeling of your mouth going dry and your hands beginning to shake.

“So… you want me to wear this all the time?” He nods again, watching you closely. “But I mean… it’s delicate, what if it breaks? And-and everyone knows that I don’t wear jewelry, what if they start asking questions?”

Aaron suddenly squeezes your hand gently, the anxious look on your face pulling at his heart. “You can always lie, say it came from somewhere different, and as this relationship grows we will find things that are more appropriate… but for now, it would make me very happy to see you wear it.”

You mule it over, wagging a silent war in your head as you stare up at him. Slowly you turn away, tilting your head down to make it easier. Aaron slips the chain around your neck, goosebumps rising along your flesh as he fiddles with the lock. A moment later the pendant rests against the base of your throat, a little heavier than you expected.

“Let me see.” When you turn back you fight the urge to shy away from his stare, his eyes molten and turning with lust as his gaze travels from the necklace to your face. “It suits you.” Aaron whispers.

“Yeah well… You have good taste is all.” You mumble, fiddling with the bag in your hands, unsure of what you do with yourself. Warm fingertips press into the sides of your jaw, turning your gaze back to his. Aarons even closer now, practically leaning across the console, the tilt of his lips challenging and dangerous.

“Gonna be my good girl tonight and wear it for me? Give me the chance to show you off.” The drawl of his voice makes your breath hitch, arousal suddenly racing down your spine to settle between your hips. Aaron watches the way your eyes suddenly dilate, the inky blackness expending over the pretty color of your irises. You’re unable to explain the affect of those two simple words as your thoughts slow, your head becoming a little heavier in his palm, but Aaron does. “What do you say?” He prompts with amusement.

“Yes… I mean, no… wait-.” You mentally kick yourself, squeezing your eyes shut to block out your distraction as your gather your scattered thoughts. Aaron chuckles and you wonder if your skin feels as hot under his fingertips as you think it does. “I’ll… I’ll wear it.”

Aaron’s smile only widens, pulling you in across those few mere inches that separate you, pressing a chaff kiss to your lips. “Good girl.”

*~*~*~*~*~*

The sun has started to set outside the windows when Aaron knocks on your door. You’re already standing on the other side, have been for minutes, trying to gain the nerve to actually go through with this. A part of you wants to run and hide under the covers, but you reach for the doorknob anyways.

Aaron glances up from his watch, his eyes widening as he takes you in. You’re radiant, decadent, beautiful, bewitching. Ever name he could possibly think off wouldn’t even come close. Your hair is swept up, a few strands framing your face and showing off the necklace, the only piece of jewelry you have on. The dress is more beautiful now than in the store, the sunset from behind you casting you in a golden glow as you look up at him from beneath long lashes.

“Breathtaking.” His voice is deep and warm as he extends his hand for you. He’s wearing a fitted black suit with a white shirt, classic but striking on him, his raven hair brushed back but the stands at his hairline have slipped forward.

“Thank you.” You place your hand in his, letting him pull you into the hall, where anyone and everyone can now see you. The butterfly’s in your stomach haven’t stopped since you got dressed, and they are only getting worse now that you will be seen in public. Apart of you knows that there isn’t a soul in Boston who knows what is going on, but every time you have stepped out of your hotel you feel as though everyone is privy to your dirty little secret.

“Let’s go eat.”

*~*~*~*~*~*

Like everywhere else Aaron has taken you the last few days, the restaurant he choose is upscale and beautiful. Deep red walls, with golden candelabras and sconces, white table clothes adorned with flickering candles and small vases of lovely flowers. The chairs are comfortable as Aaron helps you sit, your eyes roaming the room in amazement.

The restaurant isn’t crowded, having just opened its doors for the evening, but even then the tables are set far enough apart that there’s no fear of being over heard or disrupted. Aaron smiles as he watches the awe struck look on your face, your gaze fixated on the glass dome ceiling you’re seated under.

“This is… wow…” you laugh breathlessly, unable to find the right words to describe what you are seeing.

“It is… It’s one of my favorite restaurants, actually.” You finally pull your attention from the stars beginning to pepper the night sky, catching Aaron staring unabashedly.

You feel your skin heat under his gaze. “So you come here often then?”

“Any time I am in Boston.”

A man in a dashing suit suddenly appears at your side, a smile on his face and two large black menus in hand. “Good evening, sir and madam. Welcome to Deuxave, my name is James and I will be your server for this evening. May I get other of you started with a drink?”

Aaron gestures for you to go ahead. “Water, please, with lemon.” You smile up at the blond man who nods in return before turning to Aaron.

“I’ll have the same, and a bottle of Chardonnay, please.” James dips his head again, placing your menus down before swiftly turning on his heel. Aaron pauses for a moment, almost looking sheepish. “I’m sorry, I didn’t think to ask if you liked wine.”

You laugh lightly, a noice Aaron savors. “Well, luckily for you, I do enjoy a good white wine. Mainly, though, I stick with water and teas.”

He grins, the flames from the small candle casting shadows across his face, deepening the rugged look he already has. “Good to know.”

A short pause follows as you both regard each other, both of you looking like you are ready to ask a million different questions, and you’re the first to break the ice. “So… how many… relationships have you been in like… this?”

Aaron opens his menu and you follow suit, trying to force down the knot of nerves in your chest. “Three, but I was much younger, and they were already into the lifestyle I was.”

You nod thoughtfully. “Is that… Is that how you meet Haley?” You purposefully keep your gaze glued to the menu, staring at the words but not comprehending anything they say. The knot only growing heavier with your bold questioning.

“No, actually when I meet Haley I completely erased that part of my life. She wasn’t comfortable or understanding of it.”

“Oh.” You dare a glance his way, his expression impassive as he stares at his own menu. “That must of been difficult then. Just getting rid of that part of yourself.”

“It was, but that’s what you do for people.” That you love.

You chew on your lip, needing to change the subject. “What made you decide that you wanted back into it? And why me?”

Aaron licks his lips, contemplating, and your gaze follows the movement. “Because of you. When I saw you that morning on the plane, I only knew you from your file and background records, but watching you squirm and fidget seated between two men when you were so much more lively alone with JJ… something drove me to figure it out. The longer I got to know you, I began to realize you were struggling. You hardly showed emotion but fought to include yourself in the conversation because you feel you have to. Cases with children hit you hard because you’ve had some form of child hood trauma you aren’t willing to unpack, making your soul focus be the case and you neglect yourself. The darkrooms, the hesitation to request something from someone that could be seen as inconvenient-.”

“Okay, okay.” You breath, waving your hands before dropping them into your lap, picking at your already too short nails. “I get it… I didn’t realize I was so easy to read.”

“You aren’t but it’s my job to look for the inobvious. Once I did that it just started to fall into place, I wanted to help you and I could only think of one way how.”

The sincerity in his voice makes your stomach tumble but before you can reply James has returned with your drinks in hand. Once everything is situated on the table he pulls out a little note pad and pen. “Have we looked over the menu or do we need some more time?”

“Oh um…”

“May I?” Aaron asks, and you look up surprised before nodding. “We will have one Spiced Long Island Duck Breast and one Cast Iron New York Strip, medium rare please.”

“Excellent choices.” Once James takes the menus Aaron gives you a sheepish smile.

“I figured we could share.” Your own smile creeps up and you nod. “So… may I ask you some questions now that you have asked a few?”

You knew this was going to happen eventually, but no matter how much you thought you prepared yourself you still feel your heart drop. “Well, it’s only fair.”

“What makes you afraid of the dark?”

‘Oof, okay right to it.’

“Well… it’s not a fear so much now… it’s just very suffocating.” You answer evasively, watching as Aaron pours you both a glass. You swirl the golden liquid before taking a sip, the flavor bursting across your tongue.

“How long has it made you uncomfortable then?”

“Since I was a child.” You shrug a shoulder. “I don’t let it impede on my job though, that’s all that matters.”

“Deflecting isn’t the way to deal with things, Y/n.” He chastises gently. “I won’t judge you, you should know this.”

You stare at the liquor in your hand, watching the low lighting bounce through the glass with the small twists and turns of your wrist. You can feel heat crawling up your neck, as a sickening feeling tears at your stomach, setting you on edge as memories wash over you.

“I was… I was locked into a very small dark space when I was a child…” You don’t need to look at Aaron to know his eyebrows have creased, his eyes squinting in concern. “Ever since then I just found it to be-.”

“Suffocating.” He finishes, his voice soft yet deep, your eyes refusing to meet his intense stare, but you can feel it on your skin. Assessing, calculating, piecing together more about you than you would like.

Before either of you can speak again, James is back, carrying to steaming plates along with his chipper attitude. “I hope you enjoy.”

The next hour is spent talking about much milder topics, picking off of each others plates, sharing old stories and genuinely getting to know one another. You find yourself smiling easier, listening to him talk about his home, his son, his life before the BAU. You share stories of school, the couple down the street that are like your adoptive grandparents, and the books you are currently reading. It’s nice and slow and easy, something you never expected.

“Do you want to get any dessert?”

“Oh, if I take another bite I’ll pop.” You sigh, setting down your third empty glass of wine, feeling the alcohol in your system.

Aaron smiles, standing from his chair with a slight groan. “I’ll be right back, then.” You watch Aaron as he leaves, your eyes again dipping down to his ass and you have to giggle a little at the inappropriate thoughts filling your head.

“Here you are, miss.” James is suddenly beside you, laying the bill book on the table.

“Oh thank you so much. Everything has been wonderful.” You give the man your best smile and he grins back before ducking away. Your eyes go to the little book, your curiosity getting the better of you. Pulling it to you you flip it open and your stomach plummets. ‘$155’ not including tip.

You feel panicky, despite the reassurance of Aaron telling you money isn’t an issue, all you can think about is how much he has spent already. On you none the less. You want to show him you can contribute too.

Mind made up you reach for your wallet, unzipping it to look for your card when suddenly someone is clearing their throat, making you jump in your seat.

Aaron is looking down at you, eyebrows pinched and feature’s suddenly stormy and you really feel your stomach drop out, unease curling in your guts. “What excuse would you like to give me this time?” The rough edge of his voice drags along your skin and you feel suddenly very small sitting below him.

“I… I wanted to repay you for… the clothes and…” Your fingers flutter to your necklace absently at the disappointed look he gives you.

“Up. We’ll pay and then talk about this in private.”

*~*~*~*~*~*

Aaron doesn’t speak on the way back to the hotel, though his face and body are relaxed his hands are white-knuckles on the steering wheel. You fidget in the passenger seat, brushing away loose strands of hair, or plucking at the necklace the longer the silence stretches on. By the time he pulls into the parking deck you feel like your on the verge of a conniption, the fun bubbly feeling of the night dissipated into cramping dread.

He still walks around to your door to help you out after the car has been parked, but as you start to speak he holds up his hand, silencing you. Regret swims through your belly as he leads you inside and to the elevators. He presses the button for the sixth floor, two above your own, your eyebrows creasing.

Lacing his fingers through your own, he pulls you down the hall, stopping in front of a door reading 112. “Aaron?” He doesn’t give you a reply, fishing for his keycard then pulling you inside when the light flickers from red to green with a little beep. You quickly scan the room, the layout the exact same as your own, as Aaron leaves you by the door, shrugging out of his suit coat.

“Are we- are we going to talk?” You can’t tune out the nerves rattling your voice, he glances at you briefly over his shoulder as he undoes his tie, pulling it over his head.

“We are.” He finally faces you once again, his expression hard to read. “We’re going to talk about what will be the appropriate punishment for how you have acted, thus far.”

You didn’t think it was possible for your muscles to tense any further, your heart picking up speed as the thought of running passes through your head. “But… I’m new to this. Doesn’t that allot for some leeway?” Aaron cocks a dark eyebrow, maybe a little stunned, or annoyed, by your bold suggestion.

“Leeway? Darling, I don’t think you understand.” He stalks forward and your fight or flight kicks in, irrationally you move farther into the room, avoiding his advance, your eyes never leaving his. “If I don’t hold up my end, then who’s to say you won’t continue to just break the rules? Act out? You have to be reminded that what you do effects not only yourself but the others around you.”

“Okay, I understand that I messed up, I just… I wanted to return the favor, I’m not use to this.” You gesture in the air between the two of you as you continue to circle away from him as he advances. Aaron’s expression doesn’t change, only setting you more on edge, a cold sweat building under your clothes. “I’ll listen better, I promise.”

Aaron chuckles, a deep dark sound that chills your bones and yet sends a twisted thrill down your spine. “Oh baby girl, that’s not how this works.” He moves closer and you back up, jumping when your back brushes the curtains to the window. “Come here and we will talk.” He cocks a finger in your direction, beckoning you, and you feel the air in your body stand still at the gleam in his eye.

“J-just talk?” You take one tentatively trusting step forward and it’s all the opportunity he needs. Aaron leans forward, snagging your wrist and pulls you between his thighs as he sits on the edge of the bed, steadying you as you wobble in your heels.

“As much as I would like to disagree, you aren’t wrong, being new to all of this does grant you a little leeway.” Then suddenly your view is flipped entirely, you’re no longer staring down at chocolate brown eyes speaker with gold, and hard set features. Instead your hips are pressed into his large thigh, your face smushed against the comforter. “So I will go easy on you.”

That’s when your struggle commences, the adrenaline in your veins kicking you into gear as you plant your hands and push against the bed, desperate in your attempt to get up. But Aaron’s hand is suddenly planted against the back of your neck, his free leg thrown over yours, caging you in and you feel the wild thump of your heart rocket into over time.

“Aaron, let me up!”

“I plan to, but you’re going to listen to me first.” His other hand smooths over the curve of your ass, paralyzing you as the foreign feeling washes over your fraying nerves. “Good girl, just calm down and listen to me.” His honey dipped voice combined with the simple nickname makes your thighs squeeze, your thoughts scatter, and Aaron doesn’t miss a second of it.

“O-okay.”

Aaron stays quiet for a moment longer, watching his own hand brush up and down the swell of your ass, need unfurling in his belly. “You’ve broken a few of your rules, and then there’s the matter of you slapping me.”

“I really didn’t mean to…” You whisper meekly, staring at the curtains across from you, trying to shift your head where he has you pinned at.

“Yes but you never apologized either.”

“Oh.”

“So I think you will find this fair. We will keep it simple, your first punishment is that I will choose your clothing for the next week, starting tomorrow. Deal?” Your face burns, much like the area between your legs is starting to. You squirm against his thigh before nodding your understanding. “I need to hear your voice, little one.”

“Y-yes.”

He squeezes your thigh in approval, resuming the slow stroke. “That will cover all of the minor mistakes you have made. As for the slap, and you trying to pay for dinner… I’m going to spank you.”

Your panic explodes in your chest, your fight returning with a vengeance only to have Aaron’s grip tighten, his leg pressing down heavier. You knew Aaron was strong, had witnessed it many times, but this felt inhumane as you squirm and kick what little you can. “Don’t you dare-.”

“Your safe word is red. Say it at any point and everything stops.”

“W-what?” You don’t have time to process what he said before a sharp slap is delivered to your ass. You yelp, your hand finding his knee and crushing his pants leg in your fist as you jolt with the shock of it.

“Aaron!”

Two more are delivered in quick succession, pain growing quickly as your skin stings and burns through your dress. “I don’t make these rules passively, they are for your benefit and mine. What I say goes.” Three more follow his reprimand, and you twist your face into the bedspread, whining loudly as tears collect behind your eyelids.

“Q-quit!” You gasp as he lands a particularly painful spank to your right cheek, the burn of it traveling up your spine making you feel ditzy, then back down again to pool in your panties. “It hurts!”

“That’s the point, baby.” You shake against him, squirming relentlessly only causing his fingers to travel into the hairs at the base of your skull, twisting there and pulling your head up, immobilizing you. “Keep fighting me and I’ll double it, do you understand me?” Three more follow and you can’t help but to cry out, the noise bouncing off the walls and you wonder briefly if there’s anyone who can hear you through them.

His threat breaks through the frenzied mess in your head, your body going slack and he eases his grip on your hair, letting your head rest against the comforter. “Shh, good girl. You’re doing good baby.” The praise in his sultry tone makes a moan well up in your throat, and your helpless to stop it. Aaron grins, his hand trailing down to your thigh, slipping into the slit of your dress, pulling the material up to pool around your waist.

“N-no, wait…” Your protest is weak, but you don’t move to cover yourself from his steady gaze, embarrassment settling in your belly as his hand glides over your bare skin. Aaron groans softly, watching your leg twitch slightly as he brushes his hand again over your tender skin.

Aaron lands another forceful smack to the cup of your ass, and you squeal. You press your hand against your mouth, squeezing your eyes shut as the warm feeling in your stomach slowly grows into a blaze. “Let me hear you sweetheart, you only have a few more to go.”

You shake your head, defiant and unyielding, but only until his palm connects with your skin once more. Your hand does a poor job of muddling your shrill cry, pressure forming in your throat and behind your eyes as the first tear finds its way through your closed eyelids, trailing down your cheek. Your thoughts are pulled into a thousand different directions, the pain tugging them one way, while the throbbing of your clit sends them the other. Your arousal is slick against the inside of your thighs, and you squirm at the feeling.

“Easy baby, you’re taking your punishment so well.” Two more follow and you sob into your palm, the noise unmistakably in the otherwise quiet room. “I know baby, just one more and we’re done.” Aaron’s own palm stings, but his gaze is fixated on the shape of his hand print forming on your once creamy cheeks, with each shudder and twitch of your hips he can feel his cock hardening to the point it’s almost painful.

His promise though does little to quell you anticipation, your body tensing to the point it hurts, fingers having lost their feeling minutes ago from your iron like grip on his pants. Aaron drags it out, brushing his knuckles along the back of your thigh, his fingers scratching softly at your neck where his grip has loosened; your struggle having died to nothing.

The last smack is the most painful, his arm having been drawn back, putting more of his weight into it and you nearly scream, his hand landing more on your thigh. Tears rush down your cheeks, trailing dark streaks of mascara and eyeliner, your embarrassment consuming you like a fire, because as much as it hurts, your body is humming with need.

Aaron makes a sound that is more akee to a growl, his fingertips brushing the growing pool of arousal on the soft skin of your thighs. “Oh baby… you’re absolutely soaked.”

You shake your head aggressively in denial. “No… no it’s not what you think… I’m not-.” Aaron only shushes you, fingers slipping further between your shaking thighs, trailing over your damp panties right along your slit. You gasp, the soft sound followed by a deeper moan, as the pad of his middle finger circles your clit.

“I told you some people like this, baby.” His voice is octaves deeper, your hips bucking at the sound as he continues drawing slow, tight circles over your bundle of nerves. “And you really like this, don’t you?” His question is left unanswered as he add another finger, your jaw falling open with another needy moan.

Aaron’s movements are steady and precise, never faltering as his thumb scrapes down the edge of your thong, easily moving it to the side. The new view has his mouth salivating, your pussy glistening with arousal in the low light, and as he presses the solo digit against your puffy lips you moan louder. Your hips rock back subconsciously, your hands flexing where your anchored to; and all Aaron can think is that he will do anything to hear those pretty sounds for the rest of his life.

“Oh fuck… Aaron…” You gasp as his thumb dips in and out, the pace of his fingers speeding up. It’s shameful, sinful even how quickly you feel your body coming to its peak just from his expert fingers. Quicker than you’ve ever gotten yourself off and under the mushy part of your thoughts that are too far gone you wonder how he knows your body so well.

“That’s it, take what you need baby.” His cock twitches in his slacks, your hip rubbing across him with each twitch and jolt of your thighs as you rock yourself against his hand. He can feel the clench of your cunt more frequently, your orgasm right there. “I want to see you cum for me, you can do that can’t you? Cum for me, baby.”

You physically feel yourself topple over the edge, you body going still with a whimpering cry as your orgasm floods you like a tidal wave. Aaron’s praising you from above but you’re too far gone to recognize what he’s saying as his fingers haven’t stopped, making you ride out your orgasm for as long as possible.

It’s only when you start to plead with him, your voice wispy and tired, does he ease off. He gently moves your panties back into place, before he leans over you, tugging your shoes off and letting them land to the floor with a soft thud. “Do you think you you can stand up?”

Your brain hasn’t caught up yet, your thoughts empty from your head, but you let Aaron guide you to your feet, your knees wobbling and he holds you still for as long as you need. He rubs your hip with one hand, the other resting on your waist as he looks up at you. Your eyes are red and glassy, your makeup ruined, “let’s get you cleaned up.”

Aaron takes you into the small restroom, letting you lean against the doorframe as you watch him absently. He wets a rag and adds a little soap before gently wiping away your makeup, one hand holding your chin as he works. You don’t say anything, there’s nothing you can conjure up so you both sit in silence, the only sound is the small sniffles you give.

He throws the rag into the sink when he’s done, pulling you off the wall and turning you around. He unzips the back of your dress, laying a kiss to the exposed skin of your shoulder before he steps out of the restroom, returning moments later with a big white t-shirt. He hands it to you, stepping out again to let you change in private. Your body goes through all the motions but your mind is left far behind as Aaron guides you out of the bathroom and to the bed.

Gingerly you climb in, not realizing how exhausted you truly are until you settle against the cool pillows, your eyes falling shut with a heavy sigh. Soon the other side of the bed dips, a warm body pressing against your back and an arm wrapping around your waist, securing you against him.

*~*~*~*~*~*

I know this took absolutely forever please don’t crucify me 😂 thank you once again for all the love and support that has been shown for this series! Please if you’d like to be tagged you can comment below or message me directly 💜💜 much love and appreciation

Tag list: : @kneelforloki @hmett20 @axionn @ncis0mrs0gibbs @morgthemagpie @zaddyhotch @little-miss-cherry-cola @fandomawesomness @heart-breaker8 @aad1993 @obsessed-oops @supercriminalbean @lex13cm @rosiehale23 @emptybagofchips77 @icarusgloom @imr0nni3 @cashtons-wife @mojo366 @mrsgweasley @hotchners-wifey @lelevs @normaltuesdaynight @tgskitten @char-jlhewitt @shinebrightlikeafanbase @emobabeyy

#smut #apollyonsdarksecrets #criminal minds aaron hotchner #aaron hotch smut #aaron hotch x reader #aaron hotchner smut #aaron hotch imagine #aaron hotch fanfiction #aaron hotch fic #aaron hotchner #aaron hotch hotchner #aaron hotchner x y/n #aaron hotchner x reader #criminal minds smut #criminal minds

[thunderjackal]

Hello people I am here once again with something I wrote. I've been thinking lots about my asexuality and coming to terms with it, and I don't think I really understood how much it would mean to have an asexual character to look to project onto (enter Jon Sims guys). I'm rambling now but I basically used him as way to explore my feelings about asexuality that I've struggled to put into words for the longest times.

I know some of my friend will probably read this and you guys are my metaphorical Martin here

anyway enough of me and more of that thing I wrote

Jon wasn’t even sure he knew what love was. The very idea was alienating, for the world had leaned down and whispered into his ear, the very world that had created him. And it told him, to be human was to love. To be human was to create. To create love and life with your own body.

But he could never. No- perhaps he could, if he sacrificed enough of himself, tore every part of himself to shreds, burned himself at the stake, cleaned that sour taste from his mouth and rid himself of the terror and numbness that coursed through his heart, all for the one who would 

show him the wonders of ‘love’

But he had lived enough life to know that ‘one’ was never coming. He had lived enough life to know it was a lie he told himself, all through his youth and into his adulthood, and one he no doubt would continue to tell himself, no matter how much he tried to doubt it.

For to be broken one must be able to be fixed.

And what was he if not broken?

At times he felt as if he was running for his life, outrunning fate. For it was everywhere, in the yellowed pages of books, on the captivating neon screens, in the strangers who passed by him in the street, in those he called friend, in jest and games, in cathartic and emotionally driven art, in soulful song. For it was in his very existence.

There were times when his lungs would scream for air and all he could taste was rotten blood on his tongue. There were times where he stood numb as those around him amused themselves in a jest he could not share, where they used it as a connection between one another, a connection he could not share, where those he wished a connection with used it as a form of emotional closeness. And that numbness that overtook his body and the walls he built to protect his heart and soul pushed them away, even when he desired, wanted, needed to be close to them.

For he was told he could not run forever. 

For he was told it would catch up with him eventually.

For he was told he would grit his teeth and bare it.

For he was told it was to be human.

And it terrified him.

He did not want any part of it.

Not even to perceive. Or feel anything of the like.

He was drowning. And drowning fast.

For he was told he could not escape it forever.

And he believed it. Believe them who sold him a lie, like one sells time to a clock or inspiration to the muse.

So when the man who had changed his entire world came into focus, who he loved beyond measure and reason, he told himself he was not in love.

For he was broken, incapable of such love.

That is why when that man had told him he didn't care, that he could live and love and dream and share the most intimate and tender moments of his life with Jon, all without it. Told him that there was no fixing him. That he was never truly broken. Told him that he was not the green eyed monster he had built himself up to be. Told him that his crown of loneliness and life of isolation he had resigned to was false.

It had changed him.

That man had told him they could lie for a million years together in the soft earth, slowly being overtaken by the weeds and wildflowers, and he would never mention a word, and never would his hands wander over his skin. He told him they would remain like that, hand in hand, discrete and content.

And that is how their story goes.

They lived a thousand days and breathed a million breaths, all without a mention of it.

They laid in that field for millennia, so long that they’d become the flowers, so long that the foxes had known their taste.

Jon hadn’t known the meaning of ‘home’ either. But maybe he was home with that man, no- that man was his home.

#TJ writes stuff #tma #feel kind of bad tagging this with tma #the magnus archives #asexual #aspec #aroace #aromantic #arospec #acespec #queer #lgbt+ #vent #vent post #tw vent #cw vent #a vent of some kind #happy vent #queer vent #writing #writers on tumblr #can you guys tell the last part was like pulled from Hoziers in a week #because that song encapsulates all my emotions in a way i cant even describe

[akookminsupporter]

Hello,

I am here to rant yet again. I try to not be on the bird app more than I need to, but Jimin is my ULT along with JK and his first solo album is coming out (I have been waiting for this day since 2015), so I am of course now full on promoting his stuff. I will go all out for my love, especially if he’s gonna bare his soul to us. I know I will do the same for JJK1. I really like all the members and stream actively for them. But I have so far bought 13 copies of Face from KTown although it financially wrecked me. I am not bragging, everyone supports their artists in their own way, but there are only two people in the whole world of K-pop that I will do this for. It’s Jimin and Jungkook. I digress. I am on Twitter a lot these days, and there are two things I want to voice. It’s not all about Jikook, but in some ways it is.

1. I am baffled by how much the fandom believes in their own version of narratives about the members. Like they have created this version of each of the members and made it into a norm within the community. JK is the baby, golden maknae, RM is the brain, the intelligent one, V is the most beautiful, and JM is the cute, smol bean, that need to be protected and is the biggest cheerleader and more. They are truly unwilling to look beyond these roles they have assigned to them. A fine example would be JK responding to someone on Weverse that he isn’t a baby, and folks turning that into a meme. “If not baby, why so cute” or whatever that gag is. I see why one would think that way, coz you saw the members often treating him as their little one for years. But here’s the catch. He is their little one, he’s not yours. I am a 1997 liner and I fkn hate when someone treats me like a child. Now imagine a whole fandom treating you as a baby (important to note that he’s also the victim of the extreme opposite-hypersexualisation). People making translated essays on why he shouldn’t drink, why he should seek out work? He’s not your child. They have all grown so much, so can we also grow along with them? The most pressing one for me is the way JM is presented. I feel like people love him when he’s a cheerleader. Cheerleader for army, for members, for 4th gen groups, whatever. I have been seeing many many posts where people are wondering why Jimin gets this much media traction and why he has multiple brand deals, people were even wondering why only his video was played in a Samsung event. Some Ot7 peeps even said that those who they think would make noise isn’t making noise and they are worried if JM leaves his popularity would skyrocket. I even saw people say he has hidden fans. I think there’s some serious tunnel vision at play here. People underestimate his popularity. I am from Asia, and he’s immensely popular here. Like he has my country wrapped around his little pinky. The maknae line in general is more popular than the HL, but people often assume he comes last in popularity amongst the three. That is untrue. Their popularity is interchangeable and Jimin is unarguably the media and brand favourite. Jk is the only one who even compares in that department. V is definitely is a social media legend, all his posts have 10 million something likes, and that’s A FIRST. But the fandom thinking JM is getting unfair traction amongst media and brand is ridiculous, he’s always been that. Outside the fandom, Jimin is IT for people. Outside army narratives, Jimin is the recruiting fairy. He’s to K-pop what Naruto is to anime. Twitter muted his name because they thought it’s a common word years ago, that’s how much attention he gets every time he steps out. Also the fandom’s complete detachment to the Korean side of realities. He’s their national treasure. They love him. And once again, JK is the only one with a Ismaili appeal. I am rambling, but what do you mean my hidden fans? What do you mean company fav? He’s very well known to the outside world. He’s cool when he brings you locals into 875 but not when it helps his own solo career? Same with JK getting that FIFA opportunity, they wanted him specifically (not OT7), why does that upset you? He’s a crazy good performer and has heavy mass appeal. He deserves it.

2. This is coming from a place of vague concern. I have been seeing Blinks and Army go at it for the last two weeks. Now Blinks did start a few unnecessary conversations. Like offering to play Lana songs on the day of FACE release. Diminish Jimin’s impact as Dior ambassador, coz Jisoo paved the way??????? Even call out Tae for not being attractive (now be for real, you have to be actively blind or full of hate for you to think V isn’t beautiful. He has an insanely symmetrical face and he is very charming), even accusing JK of being depressed or whatever. But bro Amis go at them girls just as harsh. Jennie seems to be on the receiving end of most of it, because she’s also their IT girl. Now IDK if Jennie and Tae ever dated, we will never know for sure, but from what I have seen and how both companies didn’t clear any allegations despite them both being superstars did create some doubt in my mind. They have at least been in the same circles, and that worries me. If they are indeed together or even just friends, will ARMY take back all this shit they have spewed? I am not talking TROLL accounts, I am talking big ass OT7 accounts with thousand of followers just outright slutshaming her. How would you live with yourself if they are at some point together? Wipe your accounts clean?

Every time I am on Twitter I am reminded why I deleted the app, I shall do the same again once Face is out. Till then, Jimin lockdown.

opinions.

#Fandom

[princelylove]

Hello your highness!!! I hope you’ve been doing very well!! I hope your recovery is going smoothly and speedily!

The upcoming ramble is a bit informal so to soften the blow I will preface it with my thoughts concerning your works. Your writing gives me the same feeling as reading a good book on a spring day on a comfortable bench with a light breeze and where the sun kisses your skin and the air is fresh and new. Where the characters come to life, they breathe air, they speak, they move. Even the darker content is rich and full, like a smooth and decadent dark chocolate that you have to take small bites of to not be consumed in the richness of it. This is coming from someone who does, in fact, read Jane Eyre on the park bench in the spring and ah. Your writing really fills me to the brim with joy. I know you have not written a million things, but what you have written will stay with me for many years to come. You will definitely be the writer that I have to spend several weeks researching to find again years later when I feel the craving to reread excellence.

So I have this tiktok from several years ago saved on to my phone of this dude and he’s taking like. a photo shoot of himself and he’s one of like. 2 dudes irl I find attractive and for the past…. 3? nah like 5? years. I have been trying to figure out how this dude is so attractive to me. and it hit me like a TRUCK. It’s cause he’s EXACTLY how I headcanon Mista looking and i’m Baffled by the video every. single. time. It pops up on those ‘over the years’ photo collages every once in awhile and it’s so good everytime.

I hope this made slight sense and I once again send you good wishes and good sleep!!!

- ⭐️ anon

Hm.

The bruise went away, but the stitches persist in their bothersome ways. I've been brooding about it.

I'm having urges to poke and prod at you. I wonder how much time it takes you to type that all out. Do you think of it all day? Do you write it down prior, do you write it on the spot? Do you tremble right before hitting send, or do you tap it before you can psych yourself out, since the reward is so high? How many times did you reread everything? Do you stare at your notifications until I respond?

I am no man, but if I ever did a face/body reveal, I plan on making it onto that little list of yours.

Who knows, I might be writing when I'm forty. Maybe sixty. You'd imagine it'd get redundant after a while, as there's only so many characters and concepts I can mix and match, but you'd be surprised.

I'm the same with attraction, it's very difficult for me to find strangers attractive. Majority of my exes were people who grew on me and, before I knew it, I was studying the way they held things and worked it into my characters. Oh, to be in love again.

Not sending me said video or giving a description is absurd. I'm too curious for that.

I've already spoken a bit about what I think Guido looks like, but he's so........................ pretty. Let's go with pretty. He's a young man- he'd use "guy" but I'm the one speaking right now- that often gets his face pinched by older women. Ohh, what a good boy, always helping out. So handsome, don't you have a girlfriend yet? No special someone?

"Well. There's kinda someone I've been talking toooo...."

#⭐️ anon #♡♡♡♡ #hearings for the prince #'excellence' to 'this dude' is too damn funny #In such a good mood suddenly

[astrobei]

Hello Suni astrobei. For end of year asks, I ask you 2 and 12

hi abby strangeswift !! ok so i got a couple asks for 2 so i’m going to answer that one elsewhere so i can focus my full attention on Gushing !

12. talk about a new friend you made this year

ok i’m about to get seriously so sappy so if you don’t feel like reading through all this feel free to Leave (no hard feelings LOL)

i’m someone who has a pretty small social circle irl so i never thought i’d meet so many wonderful ppl this year, and definitely not online and definitely not because i started writing fanfiction again LOL like if u told january suni this she’d look at u like 👁👁 on a more serious note though this year was insane for me. so much changed really quickly in my life and i’m so beyond grateful that amidst all the chaos i was led to all of u guys ! literally if we’ve had even one conversation on here there’s a very high chance i’ve referred to u as a friend irl so. do with that what u will.

abby and ella (@elekinetic) and sierra (@finalgirlbyers) i want u guys to know that i treasure u all So Much. like even if our convos are sporadic or if we talk exclusively through asks ur presence on my dash brings me so much joy and i look forward to each post u make and each message and each ask and each incoherent ramble in the tags !! i don’t have Favorite Mutuals but if i did it would be u guys because it’s insane how much i light up seeing ur urls ! i hope 2023 brings so many more wonderful interactions w u guys, u rly make my mindless scrolling on tumblr 100x more fun

yvie @nnilkyway HELLO i am so so beyond grateful i met them this year ! what a strange stroke of luck too bc i was so obsessed w their art before we met and hearing him say he was a big fan of my work was like. mind boggling. anyways yvie is literally one of the funniest people i have ever met in my life oh my god it’s so rare for me to find people whose sense of humor just Clicks with mine but like. four messages in and we were sending each other memes and becoming best friends and it was fantastic! i have never once felt weird or intimidated talking to them which is crazy for me, a person who feels weird and intimidated a Lot, and also need i reiterate his INSANE TALENT !! like holy shit ! my go to person for talking about gf mike wheeler or mitski or literally just anything and everything. yvie if you’re reading this i am putting u in my pocket and holding u so close. mwah. also we are married, btw. if anyone cares.

haven @bookinit02 OK. you all have heard me gush about haven a million and one times on this blog and i’m sure you’ve seen her gush about me because she’s (rightfully) obsessed with me (/j. kind of) but haven was the first friend i ever made in the byler community which is so so beyond insane to me. i fell in love with her writing so instantaneously and you guys should’ve been there to see my reaction when i saw her leave her first comment on my fic. literally screamed it was so embarrassing 😭 we talked exclusively through ao3 comments for a while because she’d yell every time i updated ihcisc and i’d yell every time she updated her season 2 rewrite and then one day she dm’d me asking me to make a twt to add me to a byler gc and the rest was History. anyways haven is one of the most talented most creative people i’ve ever met BUT she’s also one of the sweetest and most compassionate people on the face of this planet and deserves nothing but good things always ! she’s one of those people that i need to talk to every day or i’ll go insane and i love how our convos can speedrun the entire human spectrum of emotions within like. 5 minutes. she’s so incredibly supportive and my #1 hype girl and she has the freaky ability to entirely turn my mood around on a bad day in less than 20 seconds. she literally managed to sleuth around and find my venmo just to send me soup money. if i could buy her Everything then i literally would. i would eat cilantro for her. i would watch the mlvn makeout scene for her. i would get my socks wet for her. literally i would do anything for her and i can’t wait until i see her in june and i chase her in circles around the airport and then we kiss👩🏼‍❤️‍💋‍👩🏽 and we Hug so tight and platonically 🫂

thea @wiseatom u already know. i tell her every day that i would do literally anything she asked of me and it’s true! literally 2 minutes ago she said “suni u should dye ur hair green” and for a moment i seriously considered it. anyways thea is objectively the funniest fucking person i have ever met in my life and is also my twin. if my twin were blond and taller and also a different age. in all seriousness though thea feels like the world’s most insane older sister to me and as an Actual older sister i’m really loving the feral little sibling treatment. she’s so insane easy to talk to (probably bc our brains work in the exact same way) and Oozes talent from literally every single cell in her body. she sends me a snippet of her work and i spend the next 10 minutes rolling on the floor trying not to SCREAM. there are so few people who can make me laugh as much as she does but also turn me into a blubbering mess of a baby with her Evil Cruel Prose 2 seconds later but thea wiseatom has been put on this planet to achieve the impossible. i have rarely felt so seen as i do when i talk to her, whether it’s for advice or Wallowing or complaining about our disproportionately large heads together, she is so kind and supportive and one of my favorite people Ever. i can’t believe the universe put her 3000 miles away from me because i Need to be a menace to her in person but we’ll make it work. every day i say goodnight to her at 8 pm my time and then say good morning to her at 2 am my time and then i go to bed <3 thea if you’re reading this (and u better be. i tagged u) i hope u know that u are the light of my life and i am packing my bindle as we speak to begin the cross country trek. mwah.

@andiwriteordie ANDI ! i miss talking to u every day but u are so busy with ur big girl job and cranking out quality fics at light speed so i’ll give u a pass 😔 andi is literally a legend in the byler fic community so when i found out she Knew Who I Was,,, i died. i literally died. even when we haven’t talked in a while i love how we can pick up a convo like nothing has changed or send posts that remind us of each other or go crazy apeshit in each others tags like there’s no tomorrow !! andi is so so inspirational to me, she is so kind and creative and full of positivity (even if her writing is mean and full of Sadness and Misery. still haven’t forgiven u for descent, btw) she feels like my other older sister and she has such an insane way with words that i will never understand ! thank u for singlehandedly keeping byler tumblr going, i hope 2023 is so kind to u and u get ultra promoted and have so much fun at the eras tour like u deserve <3

moon aka @smoosnoom omg ok not only is moon so crazy talented but she is such! a sweet person! back when i started writing for byler she was such an enigma to me, an ao3 user and a total Mystery, so i never expected us to actually talk and now! here we are! she is so uplifting and supportive and i’ve loved getting to know her over the past few months, whether it’s bonding over our shared hatred (affectionate. mostly) of finn wolfhard or bawling our eyes out to everything everywhere (oh my god.) seeing her comment on my first fic literally made my heart stop dead in my chest. she has such a gift for making everyone feel so immediately accepted and welcome in any space, and i will spend the rest of my life stewing in anger that she’s taller than me. that feels extremely, unfathomably illegal. anyway moon if ur reading this (and u also better be! bc i tagged u!!) i hope the new year is so good to u <3 mwah ily

#ok this was so long . #now that i’ve Gushed #i can continue to the other asks in my inbox. oops #anyways i love my friends so much if u couodnt tell #so full of Love and Good Feelings today #thanks for this ask abby i bet u are regretting it now LOL #/ask

[gaywiththesauce]

Hi hello sorry it’s not Wednesday anymore BUT. I remember you saying at one point that you were listening to your Giyuu playlist? (am I remembering right?) and I’m. so unbelievably normal and was wondering what your top 5 songs you associate with Giyuu are. Or top 10. Or top one million. Ok thank you sorry goodbye again_(:3 」∠)_

Hi Rose👋!! welcome back to my dropbox lmao

okok so so I don't remember saying that but it's totally possible that I did. I think about blorbo a lot so I think I mentioned it

These won't be very descriptive because many of the songs are just related to emotions or specific scenarios so you'll have my 4am ramblings. lil warning, I'm a swiftie, but I have a variety of other different music tastes too. here's my top 20ish because I'm obsessed with my blorbo Giyuu Tomioka the Queen

Telephones by Vacations - "my thoughts are crawling, you're all I see" "wherever I go, you'll always be next to me" has massive brain rot energy :) he only sees his love(s) everywhere

Verbatim by Mother Mother - I kinda perceive Giyuu as someone that doesn't conform to gender norms (totally not projecting) but he would totally be unapologetic for his expression. maybe a lil oblivious but not sorry

First Love/Late Spring by Mitski - the lyrics speak for themselves of anxiety that he can't love anyone else because he's too scared to lose them. "please, hurry, leave me, I can't breathe. please don't say you love me."

Long Live (TV) by Taylor Swift - this song is specifically for my fantasy prince/knight au I made and fully fleshed out with Minecraft building and shit. the idea of happy fluffy marriage makes me giggle

Gilded Lily by Cults - self explanatory. sad song. "haven't I given enough?" "always the fool with the slowest heart" (help please he has the slowest heart because his way of communicating isn't verbal and only a very select few understand-)

Daylight by Taylor Swift - "I once believed love would be burning red, but it's golden, like daylight" kyogiyuu energy, first impression of Kyojuro's "burning red" but it turns out he's a soft "golden"

Screaming by CHVRCHES - beautiful song. it talks about the past and how time has been stolen. not knowing what side of the coin you're on and if it's wrong or not. good vibes song to look out the window to

New Year's Day by Taylor Swift - SUCH A GOOD MESSAGE SONG! it's all about the tranquility that comes with love and life, how the couple would be there for not just the fun moments but the calm or hard or maybe boring moments. also "please don't ever become a stranger whose laugh I could recognize anywhere"

Money by The Drums - Giyuu would totally want to give back to the world he believes he's stolen from (he's still alive, which is something that he stole from others-) but he has nothing else to give other than hard training and killing demons, saving people when he can

Open Your Eyes by Snow Patrol - this one I can't really explain. the build up and release just kinda speaks for itself. it's cathartic and makes you want to jump up and down and rip an air guitar

Don't Let Go by The Ghost Club - "I'm falling off the edge but you never ever let go" another relationship one! who woulda guessed? again, love that lasts because love is not all sunshine. it rains and pours and you have to get an umbrella. very fun to listen to!

The Mute by Radical Face - this was shown to me by a beautiful moot when my one ficlet reminded them of it. it makes sense! "if you only listen with your ears, you can't get in [my head]" (your fic today reminded me of this song too and i listened to it again after reading tehe)

Nightmares by CHVRCHES - "Another poem designed for revenge. Now I'm living a nightmare again, and it won't end.

Black Out Days by Phantogram - gives me remembering Sabito vibes. So painfully thinking of him but trying to forget him and keep that part of his mind away from now but it doesn't want to stay away. He isolates himself from his memories that he "[doesn't] even recognize [Sabito's] face"

I miss you, I'm sorry by Gracie Adams - it's less of the lyrics and more the vibes. i just kinda really like this song. "I still love you, I promise" to Sabito---

Become the Warm Jets by Current Joys - listen listen ok hear me out: slow song, sad voice, sad song, Giyuu-themed? totally feel canon with "All my life is just something I can't ignore."

A Soulmate Who Wasn't Meant to Be by Jess Benko - wow. sad angst sad song about regret because wow. just angst.

Young by Vacations - dissociation central. not knowing how things are moving and wanting things to be right and okay. that childhood innocence of want everything (read: Sabito) to be his

i love you by Billie Eilish - Giyuu being in denial of everything. How could Kyojuro say that he loves him? How could he open up so easily to Kyo? "the smile that you gave me even when you felt like dying" FFUCCK

Dress by Taylor Swift - this is that song when the pairing finally gets together after a 20K slow burn. smiles. "Carve your name into my bedpost 'cause I don't want you like a best friend."

A Love Song by Ladyhawke - happy upbeat love song. Imagine running through a crowd, holding hands, laughing and giggling as Kyo pulls Giyuu along to show him something he's excited about

I didn't mean for this to be this long (this was originally 10) but now you have 2/3 of my Giyuu playlist! I accidentally deleted my Giyuu playlist like four months ago so I'm building from the ground up unfortunately😭

I hope this satisfies your curiosity! Enjoy listening if you do!

#can you notice the point where i start mindlessly rambling? can you tell? #im so tired i have class in the morning but my mind said “we're talking about Giyuu☺️☺️!” #so have 21 songs #giyuu tomioka #my Giyuu playlist is like 30ish songs but my master is over 500 #number 17 totally totally isnt the name of a fic choice on the poll i made #this was fun #i have another ask that i meed to answer and it contains a special surprise aka writing content for something i never expected to escale #saucy speaks #time for bed #maybe ill share my spotify one day #they have funny names #rose thank you for letting me talk about blorbo i appreciate seeing you in my asks #you get 4 cookies #what am i doing #i have class in the morning💀 #playlist #spotify #saucy samples

[stitch1830]

Hello hello! I haven’t been in your inbox in years, so I wanted to ask for a fic :D

Was wondering if you could write one of those cute lil long distance kantoph fics where they’re in different locations but can’t seem to stay away from each other. In the mood for a cute lil phone call between them or something

Thanks in advance for this, my kantoph buddy ✨🫶🏻

Why hello, Twinkles! A lovely surprise indeed, and I’m so very happy to oblige :)

This goes without saying, but prompts and asks are always welcome, especially for Kantoph, and especially for you, my Twinkly-Toed pal :D

Anyway, here you go! Some Kantoph long-distance fluff with a sprinkle of whump.

……

She literally talked to him an hour ago, but she just needed to hear his voice again.

He was traveling for work again, a side-effect of being a professional athlete, and something Toph was quite accustomed to in her own work. But that didn’t mean she had to like it.

Nights at home were so quiet and lonely when he was away, and even though they were miles from each other with multiple time zones between them, Toph knew that if she called him right now, he would answer on the second ring.

And with that knowledge, it was much too tempting to have her voice app dial “Kanto.”

On the second ring, he answered and went on his rambling ways like he always did.

“Don’t get me wrong, I love our calls, but I’m getting nervous at how many times you call. Everything okay, babe?”

Toph laughed. Along with being a rambler on the phone, her Kanto was a worrier. “I’m fine. I just wanted to hear your voice again.”

“Well, in that case, I’m happy to oblige. But you should be in bed. You should’ve been in bed when we talked an hour ago! Tsk, tsk, Beifong. Coach will not be happy if you’re sleep deprived tomorrow. You won’t be happy, either.”

“Coach won’t care, it’s the off season! Practice is a formality right now.”

She could hear the smile in his voice when he mumbled, “I know, I know.”

“Enough about my work. You ready for the game tomorrow?”

“Won’t be the same without you cheering me on, but I think we’ll be fine. I’m just excited to take the first flight out once we win.”

“That makes two of us.”

“Oh! And before I forget, there was this story I wanted to tell you…”

They went on chatting forever, about everything and nothing, about topics they’ve never discussed before, about topics they’ve discussed a million times over. It didn’t matter what they talked about, because all Toph wanted was to hear him speak, to hear his voice get excited about the game tomorrow, to hear his gasps and exclamations whenever she told him a funny story, to hear the smile in his voice when he talked about the first thing they were going to do together when he got home.

She really couldn’t wait for him to come home.

“So, how’s the baby doing?” Kanto finally asked for this particular phone conversation.

Once he finally asked, Toph smiled, placing a hand on her growing belly as she answered him. “Baby’s fine.” Then, Toph winced. “Kicking up a storm this evening, though.”

“Without me there?!”

“Hey, I can’t control ‘em. Baby Beifong does what Baby Beifong wants.”

“Is Spots not there to help?”

“Well, he is. Got his head in my lap and is snoozing. But it seems that baby Beifong isn’t satisfied with that tonight.”

“Put the phone to baby, I’ll talk to them.”

“Hotshot—”

“Thirty seconds! That’s it, I swear.”

Toph let out a loving sigh, then put the phone to her belly to give Kanto and the baby some time together. But, she was going to be a stickler with the time. If Kanto had his way, he’d have Toph sit there with the phone on her stomach for an hour.

Thirty seconds counted, Toph put the phone back to her ear, but was immediately met with protest.

“Wait wait! Thirty more seconds!”

“Times up, Hotshot—”

“Please? Thirty more, I have another thing I wanna tell the baby.”

Toph feigned annoyance, setting the phone to her belly and counting one more time.

Truthfully, though, Toph didn’t mind. She loved how much he loved their baby already. Even when they expressed their fears about the future, Kanto was there to reassure her, to promise that he’d be with her every step of the way.

He truly was the best man she ever knew, and she thanked the universe everyday for him.

The baby kicked, making Toph laugh. She pulled the phone back to her ear and complained, “I thought you were supposed to calm the baby down. They’re just kicking even more after hearing your voice!”

“I—I was trying—”

“Deception, Hotshot,” she teased. “I’ve been deceived.”

“No! I—let me try one more time.”

“Too late. I’ll just have to sit here and wait for the kid to stop running in my womb.”

“I—I’m sorry—”

“Don’t be sorry,” she interrupted. “They’re just excited to hear your voice. We miss you, remember?”

Kanto didn’t say anything, but it wasn’t a bad silence. She knew he was smiling, taking in the moment and the memories they made while over the phone.

Toph knew, because she often did this, too.

Because at some point tonight, they’d have to hang up.

Fatigue finally settled in, and despite her best efforts to hide her tiredness, Toph yawned.

“You should really rest, baby,” he whispered.

“Yeah, I guess I shouldn’t bother you any longer. Big game tomorrow.”

“Nonsense, you can never bother me.”

Toph smiled weakly, and asked him, “You’ll call me as soon as you’re done?”

“I’ll call when I wake up, before the game, after the game, and before I board the plane.”

“Promise?”

“I promise, baby.”

“Good,” she sighed, giving a quiet chuckle after. “I kind of hate how much I love you. Makes it terrible being away from you.”

“How do you think I feel? I’m away from the most amazing woman in the world, and from baby Beifong. My heart can’t take this!”

“Well, we’ll be waiting with bated breath for Baba to come home with a win.”

“And I’ll leave as soon as the ref blows the whistle.”

She let out a shaky breath, preparing herself for the ‘goodnight’ and ‘goodbye for now’ that was to come.

Toph never thought she’d be a woman that moped and whined when her husband went away, but it was hard to not be. There was a Kanto-shaped hole missing in her daily life when he traveled for games, and often, it was all she could focus on. Everything reminded her of him, every moment of her day she wanted to talk with Kanto about, and even though she still had access to his voice 24/7 when they called, there were evenings that all she wanted to do was be in his arms.

And with a baby on the way, those cravings for his warm embrace and his earthy scent and his husky laugh only increased.

Still, Toph was a practical woman, and she knew that Kanto was away because he had a job to do, and as an athlete herself, she would never want to jeopardize his performance just because she was mopey.

“Okay,” she began with another quick breath and after wiping at her eyes. “I should, uh, let you go. Get some rest before the big day.”

“Okay,” he replied, “but if you’re missing me or need anything at all, please let me know. I’m only a phone call away, and the team knows you and baby Beifong are priority number one.”

“I will,” she promised. “I love you, Hotshot.”

“I love you too, baby. And tell baby that I love them, too! I would ask to chat with them again, but we could be here for another hour if that happens.”

Toph chuckled, placing her hand on her belly once again. “I’ll be sure to relay your message to the baby.”

“Goodnight, babe. Sleep well, yeah?”

“You too,” she whispered. And after mentally preparing for the quiet evening ahead of her, she wished him a goodnight. “Sweet dreams, baby.”

“Always, baby. I only dream of you.”

……

Send me asks about ATLA, LOK, or anything! :D

#kantoph #toph #toph beifong #Kanto #atla #lok #writing prompts #my asks #thanks for the ask! #twinkle toph #fluff #whump #modern au #also spots is Toph’s guide dog lol #he’s the Goodest spotless dog you’ll ever meet #:) #send me asks!

[ribbondee]

"One Of Those Calls", a PMATGA Oneshot

Betrayus drunkenly dials up the Round House much to the annoyance of his brother.

The sun was shining, the air was warm... a fine day. Sadly the president wouldn't have much of a chance to enjoy it, as he was stuck inside doing paperwork again. Such was the life of the leader of Pac World.

He was sitting at his desk, about to sign his name on yet another document, when the phone rang. This wasn't unusual, quite the contrary actually. He often got business calls, calls for help (usually about Pacopolis being attacked again), or... those calls. He picked it up, and forced himself to speak in a cheery tone. "Hello, you have reached the Round House. This is President Spheros."

"Ayyyy waddup, Big Cheese?"

Oh boy. It was one of those calls. "For the last time, Betrayus, stop calling this number! If you're going to prank call me, do it on my personal phone please."

"Hmmm... nope!"

"What is it this time? Are you going to announce a new plan, or are you going to hit me with one of your jokes? Gonna rant at me again maybe?"

"Nah! I just wanted to say... did I ever... d-d-did I e-ever... tell you that you are a s-s-swell person?"

"Wut?", Stratos said with a priceless WTF expression. It was then that Stratos noticed something. Betrayus' words were long and slurred, and on top of that, that was something he'd never normally say in a million years. "Betrayus", the president said sternly, "are you drunk?" "Naaaaaaaaw I'm totally soberrrrr *hic*." Yep, definitely drunk. Drunk off his ghostly tail.

Stratos was about to hang up, he didn't have time for this. "I'm hanging up, Betrayus. Now go rest and sober up."

"Awww but brotherrr!"

Stratos practically slammed the phone back down, and massaged his temples. Not even ten seconds later, the phone rang again. He picked it back up, and raised his voice. "No Betrayus!" "Uhhh... I'm just calling to order a pizza...?"

"Oh. Sorry. You have the wrong number. You have reached the Round House."

"Oh..." The person on the other end hung up. Then, of course, it rang again. He sighed, picked up the phone, and prepared himself to listen to his brother again. "I also wanted to *hic* say that Pac World suuuucks. Also... have you heard the one about-"

"No. Stop calling. I'm trying to work." Stratos hung up the phone again. This was getting ridiculous. He didn't have time to listen to Betrayus' drunken ramblings, nor did he want to. Then, it rang once more. Furious, Stratos answered the phone and shouted into it. "FOR THE LAST TIME- STOP. CALLING."

For a few seconds the other end of the line was silent. Then, what sounded like snivelling could be heard. "Oh no..." Stratos rolled his eyes, knowing what was about to come.

"WAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAH!"

"My lord", came a faint questioning voice on the other end, "there there sir." Drunk Betrayus was really something. He often got completely out of character and acted even more childish and strange than usual. Stratos was no stranger to seeing his brother in such a state. In fact, back when they still served as generals together, there was an instance where they both got wasted and sang shanties at the top of their lungs. He couldn't help but remember the memory so fondly, as it was one of the rare occasions when they had actually gotten along alright.

Betrayus continued to sob into the phone, the other person apparently trying to comfort him (he could only assume it was poor Buttler). "Betrayus."

"WAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAH!"

"Betrayus..."

"WAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAH!"

"BETRAYUS!" The sobbing stopped abruptly. "Huh?"

"Please... just stop crying..."

"Okay fine... but hang up again and I'll... uh... send an attack! Yeah!"

"Like they'd listen to you while you're in that state. Betrayus, please just hang up... I really, REALLY don't have time for this."

"But *hic* brother, it gets lonely down here!" "Why would you seek my company? Last I knew you hated my guts." "Uhhh..." The drunken fire ghost was at a loss for words. "Now that I think of it... how did you even get intoxicated? Isn't alcohol flammable?"

"I dunno."

"...right. Now please hang up or I will. I have work to do."

"But-"

"Now."

"You're *hic* not mummy! *mumbling* she always did like you best anyway..."

"You leave her out of this!"

"Uh... Mr. President?"

That last voice had come from one of his bodyguards, both of which were clearly concerned. "I'm fine, I'm fine... I just... need to hang up..." "-and that's not even the half of it", Betrayus drunkenly continued. "she gave you e-everything... and me, I got jaaaaaaaaack *hic* squaaaaat. Far as I was concerned, she hated me..."

"No she didn't."

"Yes she did."

"No. She. Didn't."

"Uh-huh!"

"Okay so maybe I WAS the favorite... but she still kept and took care of you. Now I'm going to hang up and-"

"Did YOU hate me?"

"I'm sorry... what?"

"Wouldn't surprise me. You always were on top... leavin' me behind... pickin' on me just like the other kids..." He was beginning to snivel again. He continued to depressingly rant about it, clearly a result of his intoxication. "I..." Stratos actually found himself at a loss. "I've never HATED you…"

"Really?"

"Really. Now hang up. Get sober. ...and probably go into a rage later." "Okie dokie." Click. What… just happened? That was by far the closest he'd ever come to telling his little brother that he loved him ever since… he shuddered at the sudden flashback.

It was so many years ago, yet the memory was fresh as ever in his brain… Betrayus' screams and shrieks of agony as he was stripped of his body and banished to the Nether Realm. Oh how those screams haunted him so. As Betrayus and his army were forced into the portal, he yelled that he'd be back, repeatedly cursing his brother and saying that he hated him among other things that would make a sailor's words look tame.

In spite of all of his unforgivable crimes against Pacmanity, Stratos simply didn't have it in him to have his brother destroyed for good, a choice that would prove to be a very grave mistake. He should have disposed of Betrayus while he had the chance. But, he was too damn soft. His grip around his pen tightened, the force threatening to snap it in half. With a grunt, he put down the pen and lifted the phone back up. He dialed, and a familiar low, meek voice answered. "Hello?", said Buttler in a slightly confused tone. "I… need to speak with my brother. I have to tell him something I haven't in a very, very long time."

#pmatga fanfiction #pacman and the ghostly adventures #pacman #betrayus #stratos #fanfiction #from funny to sad to heartwarming #my first pmatga fanfic i ever wrote

[bangtanboyz22]

Hello Again i saw your prompt list 3 I can’t choose all are so beautiful but i wanna request Changsub x reader (3+11+16)

Thanks!!!!!!!!!!

Hello!! I hope you enjoy!

Pairing: Changsub x reader

3. “I hope you know by now how much you mean to me.”

11. “Sorry for so many calls. I was worried about you.”

16. “Hug?"

-------------------------------------------------------------------

It had been about a year and a half since you started dating your partner much to your best friend's dislike of them. Changsub has been by your side ever since you two were little so when he found out about your partner, he wasn't happy as he has had a crush on you for quite some time now.

What Changsub didn't know was that you had a crush on him too but didn't want to ruin the friendship because you didn't think he liked you in the same way you liked him. Today, your partner decided to breakup with you leaving you heartbroken. You texted Changsub what happened but then turned your phone on silent and turned it screen down.

Not long after, he responded and was calling you but since you didn't hear your phone, you hadn't noticed. As you were trying to get your mind off of the breakup, Changsub showed up at your door repeatedly knocking. When you opened the door he came rushing into your apartment rattling off a million questions.

Once you calmed him down a little while chuckling at his rambling of questions. You grabbed some water for the two of you before taking a seat on the couch checking your phone. Your eyes went a bit wide at all his calls and texts.

"Sorry for so many calls. I was worried about you. I wanted to make sure you were okay and if you needed anything." he told you blushing a little at just how many calls he left.

"It's okay, thank you for worrying about me. I'm okay just a bit shocked at the suddenness of it is all," you told him looking down so you don't cry. He of course noticed you were about to let some tears fall.

"Hug?" he asked you opening his arms to which you nodded and scooted over until you were in his arms.

"Thank you. I don't know what I'd do without you," you told him just enjoying being in his arms.

"I always will be here for you, whenever you need me no matter what time," he said before letting out a deep sigh. "You mean everything to me. I've actually wanted to tell you this before but I was too scared to. I like you so much that I even love you as more than just a friend. You're in my mind constantly no matter what I'm doing or who I'm with." he told you before being silent to await your response. "I hope you know by now how much you mean to me. As if the many calls didn't say enough," he told you smiling down at you chuckling a bit even earning one from you.

You were silent for a little bit longer taking in his words, slightly shocked he felt the same way about you as you did him.

"I love you too," you told him blushing sinking further, if that was even possible, into his arms. You then felt a kiss on the top of your head.

#btob scenarios #btob changsub #btob imagine #btob imagines #btob x reader #lee changsub #changsub #changsub scenarios #changsub imagine #changsub x reader #btob changsub x reader #lee changsub x reader #kpop #kpop x reader #kpop imagine #kpop imagines #kpop writing #kpop scenario #kpop scenarios #bangtanboyz22 writing #bangtanboyz22

[pokimoko]

For the ask game: 13, 25, and 44. I adore all of your mk fics and your playlist are 100% going to influence my Spotify wrapped lol. Thank you so much for sharing your wonderful works and have a great rest of your week!!! 💜💜💜

Heeeyyy thank you so much my friend! I always love reading your comments and seeing you pop up again and again for each of my stories, it's absolutely wonderful. And thank you for the questions! Time for me to ramble once again. 13. Do I listen to music when writing? Oh, most definitely. Working in silence is hard for me. Ironically, though, I tend to zone the music out when writing (to the point I will not notice if I paused it until 20 minutes of silence later) so it's mostly for background sounds and occasionally the distracted little bop. As for what I listen to, it depends on what I'm feeling like and what I feel will help me vibe with the story. For In the Absent Place I spent like four hours just listening to thunderstorm sounds because, well, rain was a big part of that story and I wanted the Ambience™. I also ended up listening to the Moon Knight OST multiple times because it helped me vibe with the characters and the creepy aura while writing. In terms of lyrical music, I like listening to songs that have a story and/or emotional element of sorts when I'm writing. I listened to a lot of 'Bastille', 'The Oh Hellos' and 'Sleeping At Last' for a lot of my recent stories (as I'm sure you can tell from the fic playlists, thank you for listening to them by the way :D), because they each have a bunch of songs that I found really connected to the themes of the stories, and I like doing the classic writer thing of going "this song is now about this character" and taking inspiration from the lyrics. 'Course, my On Repeat stuff doesn't match up with that motivation at all; for those songs, the vibes come first and foremost. So, yeah, for the second part of the question, here's a few songs that I've been listening to a lot lately: - Straight Ahead by Dom Fera - Lent by Autoheart - Drown Me! by Junie & The HutFriends - Home by Cavetown - It’s Alright by Mother Mother - Jaws by Lemon Demon - A Man Without Love by Engelbert Humperdinck (haha no surprise there) - Disaster by Conan Gray - Waiting in the Wings by Eden Espinosa - Million Dollar Bills by Jukebox the Ghost - Egg in the Backseat by Em Beihold - W.I.T.C.H by Devon Cole - 12 Years Howled by Bear Ghost - Record Player (with AJR) by Daisy the Great - Inkpot Gods by The Amazing Devil - I Don’t Know How to Talk to People Anymore by Ben Thornewill

25. My favourite part of the writing process is when I get to the point in the story where all the main parts have been written, and I get to fill in the gaps between them and make the story whole, and add in all the little details. There's something so thrilling about scrolling through the text and realising that it's all come together into something complete. 44. My favourite genre to write is character studies. I just love delving into the psychological and emotional journey the character goes through over the course of a story, not simply the journey itself. I personally love when the external journey parallels the internal stuff and adds an extra layer of depth to each side (like, with Smoke and Mirrors, the mirror world was a physical representation of Marc and Steven feeling isolated from others, and feeling like they couldn’t ask for help because no one was listening / they were being ignored). Other than character studies, I definitely love writing anything with surreal, horror, or fantasy elements. (No wonder I loved Moon Knight as much as I did, it really was out here hitting all my favourite genres.) Ask me fanfic questions!

#ask #beloved mail #fanfic stuff #god sorry this answer is very lopsided I guess I just really got into the music question #someone asked what music i listen to? time to share my topsy turvy music taste #it really is just so over the place #(but there's no better whiplash then going from like 'it's alright it's okay you're not a demon' to 'JAWS THE SHARK LURKING IN THE DARK!!!') #i leap from broadway music to indie pop to hiphop to folk to punk to rock to mainstream pop to spoken word to southern gothic to-- #i personally can't wait to see my own spotify wrapped this year just to see what i've listened to most #(also ohohoho i corrupted your spotify?? mwahaha excellent) #anyway thank you for the questions noggin kisses for you

[kalosstarters]

-tumbles back in after one million years- Hello, it's Lala/Lambie/Lamees!!! ;3; SO, how did it feel seeing Alan and Manon again?! Even if Manon only cameo'd like most folks not involved in the M8, aha. I do feel like Alan smiling at the camera was for her sake, to cheer her up. ;3;

Oh hi!!! It's been such a long time! But I'm glad to "see" you! :) (Also be warned, this topic will get a long response to me)

The Alain in M8 topic is not an easy one 😅 But please bear with me! When it was first revealed that he would be in it, I was soooo excited. I hadn't dared to wish that he (or Manon) would actually return one day; it's been almost 6 years since the end of xy&z after all so yeah, it didn't seem likely.

Once the return was announced, I was one of those people who was wishing to see an Ash vs Alain battle - not so that Ash could get a "revenge" (that's not how Ash works at all) but because they're friends and I was hoping to see them interact. Well, the first disappointment happened there. We didn't get that battle. And we did. not. even get interaction with Alain and Ash or Leon outside the battle. Alain literally said one sentence to Ash in his goodbye scene to which Ash didn't even respond, so... fun. I still keep having the tiniest speckle of hope that he might be helping Ash train in a future episode, but seeing how he left the stadium in last week's episode, it seems really unlikely at this point.

The second thing I was hoping for was that even though Alain would obviously lose, he'd still fall in a way that would do justice to his character. Again, didn't happen. Yeah, one could argue that his loss was to highlight Leon's strength, but........ Alain's Charizard once won ten mega evolved mons in a row including E4 member Malva's mega Houndoom. It also beat Ash-greninja, which is resistant against fire moves. And somehow it went down in basically one hit vs Leonzard. Not good writing, and it feels even more bizarre knowing that Tomioka wrote most of the Alain centered episodes in xy&z (and the entire TSME).

So in brief, I feel that the pokeani staff did the bare minimum when it comes to his return. I was of course happy to see Manon and Sycamore watching him but whyyyy did Manon's last shot have to be of her crying? Unfair. I felt the need to see her face from the Kalos league finals after that scene. Anyway, if Alain is not getting a voice role anymore (=he isn't returning to Wyndon), I hope that we'd see him watching Ash together with Manon from Lumiose City. That's pretty much the best I can hope for at this point.

Don't get me wrong, I'm /happy/ I got to see them, but there was potential for a whole lot more! That's why this salty commentary. Sorry about this, hopefully this rant finally helped me to get all the salt out of me.

"Alan smiling at the camera was for her sake, to cheer her up" This is a sweet thought and a better way to finish this post than my rambling

#tia speaks #i'm genuinely sorry!!! #you were probably hoping for a happy reply but given what the pokeani staff did to him i just can't #i have to add 1 more thing: #when watching the alain vs leon battle for the first time i was mainly just happy that he was there #but afterwards i realized how badly the writers messed up and... uh #pokeani spoilers

[m1ckeyb3rry]

HELLO AGAIN #1 FAVOURITE WRITER!!!

I have a few questions. Feel free to ignore them if they invade your privacy!!

Firstly, is English your first language? I don’t know if this is weird, but I‘ve been wondering since your writing is so amazing, I feel like it has to be.

Secondly, for how long have you already been writing stories? Again, they’re so amazing and I have been praising your work in all of my previous asks, but I can’t tell you enough. You really are such an amazing writer and I‘m so so so amazed by your talent.

Thirdly, what did you even do to get this good??? Like honestly, how is that even possible? Were you born with that talent?? Is it hard work?

Tysm for uploading stories, they make my days even better 💗

HI ANON! I don’t mind answering your questions but I’ll put them under the cut because I’ll probably start to ramble hahaha

Yes it is although i am bilingual!! Pretty much since I was a baby we have been using hindi and English interchangeably at my house and most of my relatives only know hindi so I can speak it fluently (i can’t read the script though unfortunately 😢). I do live in a country that speaks predominantly English though so in my daily life I mostly only use English which is why I’m definitely better with it than I am with hindi.

THANK YOU SOO MUCH!! I’ve been writing stories since I was a kid but they were mostly just random things i wrote in journals and they were all ATROCIOUS. As I got older I got busier so i mostly stopped writing but i got back into it in 2020 because I had nothing else to do and figured i might as well. I started writing fics as a joke actually but my best friend told me that I should start posting them. That was in the beginning of 2021, so I’ve been writing fics since then i would say?? That’s when i got more serious about actually writing and trying to finish stories and giving them actual sensible plots instead of just doing whatever. It’s also when i actually started caring about how my stories were written instead of just throwing words on a page.

You’re too kind!! I think there’s a lot of factors that go into being ‘good’ at writing — which is also a subjective thing imo, I’m sure there’s plenty of people that think I’m terrible LOL. For one, i think that it’s important to read a lot, because then you get exposed to a lot of different styles and can absorb the best things/your favorite things from each while also getting a sense for what to avoid, whether it’s because those particular things wouldn’t work for your genre/story or if it’s just because you don’t like them. It’s also important to write a LOT — since 2021 when i made my ao3 account, I’ve posted over a million words and written even more that i decided not to upload for whatever reason. Writing is like a muscle and if you don’t practice and work it out, you can’t improve. It’s going to be awful at first and that’s okay!! I seriously cannot reread my older stories, even some of the ones I’ve left up, because they make me cringe so hard from how bad they now seem. As you write more and more, you start to get into a rhythm and your style naturally develops. It’s a constantly evolving process and at least for me, no matter how much i like something at the moment I’ve written it, there is a 100% guarantee i will look back in a year or two and be embarrassed by it. It’s also important to be vulnerable; i think writing is a lot more impactful when you give yourself the permission to do whatever you want and put your best effort forward without worrying about how people will react to it. That’s not to say i don’t worry, but the worrying can come once the writing is FINISHED, or else I’ll never get anything done.

Thank YOU for reading and sending asks, I really appreciate it!! I hope my answers all made sense and weren’t nonsensical 😭 if you have any other questions, feel free to ask, whether they’re about my actual writing process or my stories in general.

#answered asks

[suckishima]

what are the top 3 chapters!!

alakjdajd tbh they fluctuate bc i’m REALLY bad at picking favorites, but the ones that come to mind and that I actually like Know the chapter numbers and what happens in each etc, are 298 (guide), 364 (if i wasn’t alone...), 365 (endings and beginnings part 2), 369 (food becomes muscle), 371 (on the other side of the world), and 387 (the greatest opponent)

I know that’s a lot more than three lmao. 298 and 369 are probably actually my top two, but it’s hard to choose lol.

(i started writing WHY i like each one and it got super long lmao, so if you wanna know my general thoughts on each of these it’s under the cut)

298 i love bc the character development is seemingly so simple but it makes me CRAZY. Tsukki is a character I relate to a ton and reading this one for the first time was really cathartic for me. The way there’s only a few lines of dialogue to help emphasize the impact of the flashback panels from Tsukki’s perspective and to actually get to see the respect he has for Yamaguchi, but also how he’s learned from him in how to go for the things he wants. Like, we’ve spent the WHOLE series knowing for a fact that Yamaguchi looks up to and admires Tsukki, but haven’t seen much about how Tsukki sees Yamaguchi other than the confrontation at the Tokyo Training camp, and it’s so rare to see Tsukki feel like he can open up - even to us as the audience we rarely see it. So to see him say “he’s always been one step ahead of me” and then the panels that actually SHOW Yamaguchi taking those steps past him??? fuck, like that’s just such good storytelling. We get to see Yamaguchi’s journey through Tsukki’s eyes and feel the respect there that previously we had only assumed probably existed, and then it doubles to let us see how Yamaguchi’s journey impacted Tsukki too. It’s about how they’ve grown separately and together and then the final “sometimes it’s actually kind of fun” like, aaah!!!

364, oooo tbh this MIGHT be the best written chapter in the series imo. structurally, it’s SO good - i made a post about it when i reread it a few months ago too, so I won’t ramble forever here. but as a standalone single narrative of just this chapter, it’s stunningly done. heartbreaking of course, but the writing tbh is practically awe inspiring. it takes hinata’s original, ultimate goal of just staying on the court, builds it up to it’s highest point, and then it punches us in the gut with it. absolutely fantastic stuff. and i will NEVER get over the little tagline at the end of the chapter that says “the sun rises and - “ while hinata (our sun) is hunched over on the floor. like DAMN. i know this is one of the few things furudate said they had planned from basically the beginning and ugh wow did they deliver.

and then 365 is of course, the fall out. these two go hand in hand and work off each other beautifully. we see all the evidence that had been in our face before, silly fun hinata things right? NOPE turns out it’s a major, life changing lesson!! and god takeda’s entire speech is SO good. i’ve talked about this one a lot bc his “this is still volleyball” speech is basically every single one of my favorite hq!! themes wrapped up into one. how hinata’s hunger is what caused him to fall bc he was too hungry and did’t stop to take care of himself along the way, and that every moment is connected and is all still volleyball,,, yeah. and then just ooof the very last page where there’s all this noise from the court and hinata looks at the doors as the close and then it’s this silent shot of them being closed. the IMPACT of that is so goooooood. catch me crying when this gets animated and i can actually hear those sounds out loud and instead of in my head loll

369 is kind of another sister chapter to those last two, it’s the final high school chapter where we finally get some of the last bits of character development for some of them. the third years bow and say goodbye, NO one on the team apologies for doing something wrong, tsukki wants to watch kamomedai’s blocking (!!) and kageyama wanted to take this team further (!!!), daichi thanks takeda. takeda says “nothing is over! nothing! not one thing for any of you has ended today!” and the ukai says “let’s go eat” !!! and then theres the shot of them all eating, ukai bring hinata his food while he cries into his bowl and ukai’s “food becomes muscle” lines aaah, so good. so so good, and a GREAT continuation of takeda’s speech from 365. they’ve all come so far and learned so much, but there’s still more food to eat, more experiences to share and more ways to grow stronger

371 mostly, i just love the brazil arc and there’s just this feeling of sadness and loneliness that carries throughout the chapter that’s almost kind of haunting, but it also has this feeling of purpose too. this one is harder for me to explain lol, but it’s like a test for hinata to see if he can learn to be okay, to prove to himself that he has what it takes to make the right choices to make sure he’s okay as much as possible. it’s something i really relate to on a personal level - “being okay” in a lot of ways is a choice, and i love how this chapter is the beginnings of us seeing that for him. and then!! oikawa showing up at the end as like hinata’s reminder of home is just so good lol. things are weird and different and he’s in a different country, but volleyball is still fun - and hinata isn’t alone, he isn’t the only guy who traveled the world for his dream

and then 387, ah what can i say about chapter 387 that hasn’t been said before lmao. i love how it both recontexutalizes AND emphasized every single kageyama moment from the entire series. it’s such a great use of flashbacks, it doesn’t give kageyama more depth, it shows how that depth has been there the entire time. and it just really solidifies the importance of his relationship with hinata and how integral their bond was for BOTH of them to get better. the second to last page where it’s showing kageyama’s middle school years and we’ve just read the “somebody even better will come” dialogue a few pages back, and then we see kageyama alone, and alone again, and alone to become the great king, and rejected from shiratorizawa, and then the bottom left cell is just the karasuno gym, a volleyball in the air and a big “I’M HERE” that we know from context is hinata, and he’s unknowingly fulfilling kageyama’s grandpa’s words. like aaaa!! THE PANELLING, THE WRITING, THE IMPACT!! i’ll be saying this until i die lmao, but haikyuu is a masterpiece and furudate is a genius at panelling.

#hello i once again rambled for a million years #manga spoilers under the cut! #ask #anonymous #connect #coach what should i eat #this is still volleyball #somebody even better #yeah its all the tags lmao #i shouldnt be surprised #hq meta

[donutloverxo]

Soooo there are many fics where reader makes steve jealous and it ends in rogh possesive fcking.. but what if steve tries to make reader jealous and it totally backfires and she becomes extremely insecure?? But please with a fluffy ending because my poor heart can’t handle anything less 🥺🥺

Hey. Thanks for the request and I hope this fits. *gif is not mine* Dividers by @firefly-graphics

Please note that my stories are not to be stolen or reposted on any other site. Reblogs and welcome and much appreciated. This blog and this story is 18+. Do not read, follow or interact if you are not 18+. Please🙏🙏

"Um... yes?" You asked as you brought down the hand which was holding out a twenty dollar bill - since you thought it was the pizza you've been waiting for, for like the past half an hour, and not a blond, six feet and some inches,tall super soldier.

"Hi... doll," he smiled.

"My name's Y/N," you corrected him as you frowned, so fed up of men undermining you by calling you such 'sweet' nicknames. You knew Captain Rogers wasn't like that, but still you couldn't have him getting any ideas.

"Right," he cleared his throat as he repeated your name. "Sorry," he said with a toothy grin, which almost made your heart melt.

"How did you get my address, Captain?"

"Tony gave it to me. I would've asked you at work... but I wanted to do this the right way."

"Do what?" you quirked a brow.

"Um, I maybe people aren't as formal nowadays," he sheepishly rubbed the back of his neck, "But I can't really change who I am... not so late in life anyway," he cringed as he realised he was pretty rambling then, taking a deep breath he gathered enough courage, "I wanted to ask you to come with me, as my date, to the valentines party this Sunday."

You hummed at that, considering it because damn if Rogers wasn't convincing. Even when he wasn't as authoritative and dominating as he is when he puts on the suit.

It would be nice to be courted and treated nicely, and to not have to put up with the shit most men try to pull with you, you were sure Rogers would show you the time of your life. Besides, only an idiot would say no to him.

"No." You said with a finality that left no room for debate. "Is that all?"

"Uh... I... yes..." he stammered, not exactly prepared to be turned down so bluntly. "Can I ask why?"

"I don't shit where I eat."

"What?" his eyebrows cutely scrunching up.

You just knew you must've touched a nerve with your crass language. Tony, your boss, had told you about Cap and his 'language' incident.

"I don't date people at work... it can get complicated," you explained as he nodded.

It wasn't a complete lie. You didn't want to be known as the 'easy' girl or have others gossip about you. But that would be a sacrifice you'd willing make for someone like Steve. Who'd dare make fun of the Captains girl anyway?

You had been smitten with him from the moment you saw him, learning about his bravery and sacrifice as a kid you looked upto him and respected him, but when you met him in real life... you were a complete goner. Your stomach did somersaults every time he touched you, or hell even looked your way.

You tried your best to flirt, which was basically you stuttering and trying to make small talk whenever you had a chance to talk to him. Since he was born almost a century ago he would probably be offended if you were the one to make the first move.

You continued your back and forth for weeks before he told you about her. That he'll be visiting her over the weekend. You simply nodded, having a vague idea of who Peggy Carter was but not of what she went to Steve.

After some research you found out that she was an old flame of his, someone he couldn't marry and build a life with because he was frozen for decades. Upon seeing her many qualifications, and just how freaking brilliant she was, you knew one thing.

You may not be as smart as her, but you knew that you could never measure upto a woman that incredible. Someone Steve still visits after all these years. You were already afraid that he was out of your league but now you were sure of it.

"Did I do something wrong?" he wanted to know.

"What do you mean?"

"Well," he shoved his hands in his pockets, his bottom lip jutting out in a pout, "It's just that you used to talk to me all the time... and now it seems as if you're ignoring me. Is it because of something I did? Whatever it is I never meant to hurt you," he swore.

You sighed. "It's nothing you did, really. I just realized how incompatible we are. I hope you find the one you're looking for, someone who'll make you happy and give you the world. It just won't be me."

You didn't let him say anything closing your door instantly as you kept your tears at bay.

At the valentines party

"Cap," Tony said, slapping a hand on Steve's shoulder, "I thought you'd have her on your arm tonight. What happened?"

Referring to his assistant. He wanted to play cupid this once, since it was the season of love, he wanted to see his idiot friends happy. He was sure you both would be disgustingly smooching and all cute at the party. But not only had you both shown up separately, you seemed to be actively ignoring Steve.

"She uh... rejected me," he said, looking down into his glass of whiskey. It didn't do much for him but it helped him blend in.

"Ouch," Tony winced, "I was sure she would go for you. But I guess I have been wrong before," he shrugged.

"Really?"

"Yeah. She goes all heart eyes whenever you're around. But I guess that's nothing unique since that's just how most women act around you," he scoffed. "You should read all the love letters you got today. I was going through them, you have quite a passionate fanbase of people who want to... what was it..." he pretended to think hard about it. "Yes, 'ride your bicep', I don't understand the physics of how on earth that would work, but I am intrigued."

"Tony," Steve rolled his eyes as he always does when he's around the billionaire. "I don't really care about all of them... they don't know me. I only care about her and I don't know why she said no, but there's nothing I can do about it."

"Whoa, you're accepting defeat so soon? Where's that I-can-do-this-all-day attitude?"

"This isn't a war, Tony. If she doesn't see me that way... then there isn't much I could do."

"Maybe she's just playing hard to get. There's absolutely no way to really know what goes on in womens heads, Rogers. They're so smart and sneaky... it's kinda scary actually."

"I don't think she'd play games..."

Tony had gotten distracted pretty quickly and left Steve alone to pout and only appreciate your beauty from afar. You had worn a pink dress with red hearts on it, and for some reason, you got more beautiful every time he looked at you.

"Hello."

He jerked when he heard the foreign voice, looking at the blonde woman next to him, with her hand out, he shook it just to be polite.

"I'm Crystal," she smiled, flashing her sparkly white teeth.

"I'm Steve."

"Of course I know who you are!" she laughed, "You're Captain America, everyone knows you," she playfully hot his bicep before squeezing it, "Oh my... you must work out a lot."

"Uh... yeah..." he nodded. He could never get used to how people perceived him so differently.

"There is something I need to know really bad," Crystal blinked as she looked up at him, "Do you wear underwear in those suits? They seem really tight, wouldn't it be uncomfortable?"

"Oh, um... we just sort of..."

You had never looked at yourself as a jealous person. Maybe things were different when it came to Steve... he was a pretty special guy.

When you looked at him, talking to some girl, dancing with her, laughing and having fun with her, it was as if you were on fire from simmering rage, at the same time you could feel your heart breaking in a million pieces.

You knew it was wrong. You had no claim to him, he can do whatever he wants. If you said no to him then it makes perfect sense that he seeked out someone else.

You just had to get away for some fresh air, so you wouldn't abandon all class and pull the girls hair and drag her away from your Steve.

You yelped when you heard him call out your name.

Looking over your shoulder you saw him staring at you, his brows scrunched up, he looked so worried. But why?

"What're you doing here? You'll catch a cold, doll," he takes off his blazer, putting it over your shoulders and then groaning when he realised his slip up.

"Right, sorry, old habits die hard. I won't call you that again, I promise," he said, crossing his finger over his heart.

"No... I think it's kinda sweet. No ones ever had such an endearing petname for me. I do like it."

"Oh," he frowned, "it's just that you said you didn't."

Tony, of all the people in the whole universe, was right. There was no understanding women.

"I guess I lied..."

"Why?"

"Um..." You were at a loss of words and nervous. Steve wouldn't tolerate lies, and you didn't want him to hate you. "It was easier to do that then tell you the truth."

"What's the truth?"

"I do like you... a lot. But I don't want to live in someone else's shadow. And I just think the whole thing would end in a disaster..."

"What're you talking about, Y/N?"

"Peggy. Your first and only love. I can't measure upto her, not in my wildest dreams, there's no use trying."

"Why would you have to measure upto Peggy?"

You opened your mouth to answer, but couldn't really come up with an answer. "Why wouldn't I?"

"I did have feelings for her, but that was a long time ago. I'm happy she lived her life, it just wasn't meant to be."

"So, you're not still in love with her?"

"No," he shook his head, "I wouldn't have asked you out if I was."

"Well, what about Crystal? You were practically glued to her the entire evening!" you huffed as you stomped your foot. Mad at your own stupidity. You could've simply told him the truth and asked for a straight answer. "I have to warn you, she had was pretty crazy in the last season."

"Last season?"

"Mm-hm, the last season of her reality show, I've seen all eight seasons. Maybe they just amp up the drama, maybe she isn't actually crazy, I wouldn't know," you shrugged.

"Doll," he smirked, circling a hand around your waist and pulling you into him, "are you jealous?"

"I am not!" you gasped, looking away from his eyes as you felt your cheeks heat up.

"I don't want anyone but you. Why would I? You're goddamn perfect. And... I want you to be my girl."

"I guess I don't really have a reason to say no now..." you murmured, your face still flustered as you played with the buttons on his shirt before he tilted your chin up to make you look at him, placing his lips over yours in the most tender of kisses.

"Got the job done, Tones... I'm pretty sure I saw him go after her, I have to say though, you look at Captain America, and you really don't expect him to be that awkward..." Crystal said as she sipped on her gin and tonic. "You owe me."

Tony only hummed, not too happy about being indebted to someone, but you both needed a necessary push in the right direction.

#berry answers #steve rogers x reader #chris evans x reader #captain america x reader #steve x reader #steve rogers x you #marvel x reader #avengers x reader #chris evans x y/n #chris evans x you

[cherienymphe]

Cruel Intentions (Steve Rogers x Reader)

WARNINGS: NON-CON, manipulation, mentions of abuse, therapist!Steve, silverfox!Steve, drugging

! DNI IF THIS OFFENDS YOU !

➥ Image by @angrybirdcr

      ➥ dividers by @firefly-graphics

This is for the “For the Fic” challenge whose winner for my fic was @darkficsyouneveraskedfor​

The entire plot was her request and I hope that you like it!

summary: after escaping an abusive ex, you find solace in a therapist recommended to you by a friend. 

~

“...I know I shouldn’t...but sometimes I blame myself. In Harry, I know that I was looking for what I never had in my family. I think it made me quick to rush into things...to ignore what I should have seen.”

Your eyes remained on the dark carpet, the man before you humming as the scribbling sound of his pen reached your ears. You fought hard not to fidget, a horrible habit you’d picked up in the last 3 years. You finally lifted your head again when the room was bathed in silence, eyes meeting familiar blue ones as he studied you.

You were used to these short moments of silence by now.

You’d been recommended to Dr. Steve Rogers by a friend, a friend who’d helped you escape your violent ex in the dead of night while he’d been away on business. She had grown worried when it became obvious that the effects of your tumultuous relationship would be lasting if you didn’t do something about it. Oddly enough, you’d been receptive. For 2 whole years, you’d wanted to tell someone, have anyone to turn to and talk to, but fear, a very valid fear, had stopped you.

Not only had you been worried for your life, something that was threatened on a constant basis, but you’d also been afraid of judgement. You worried what your friends would say, if they’d blame you for finding yourself in such a predicament, if they’d look down on you for no longer fighting back. It was only by a stroke of luck that Nakia had seen Harry slap you right across the face when he thought she’d left. You were grateful that she’d waited for him to leave before rushing towards your trembling frame, pulling you into her arms as she shushed you.

She had demanded to know how long this had been going on. She had been horrified and confused and angry. It didn’t take her long to come up with a plan, and within 2 weeks, after waiting for Harry to leave the city for 2 days, she’d gotten you out and into her place across town. You didn’t stay for long, maybe a few weeks, wanting nothing but to put it all behind you, and although she was sad to see you go, she understood.

It was how you found yourself in upstate New York, in a secluded tiny thing of a house. You hadn’t even realized that you’d become something of a recluse until Nakia had pointed it out during one of your weekly calls. It had never hit you that you went to work and to home and that was it. You barely ate anymore, so grocery shopping was never a frequent affair. That was when she’d told you about a well known therapist in the area, Steven G. Rogers. You had been shocked by how much you weren’t opposed to the idea as she went on listing all of his credentials. 

It was only moments after she hung up that you found yourself researching him yourself. You remembered noting how handsome the man was, even more so in person. His bright blue eyes and silver tresses complimented his strong features nicely, pink lips pulled up into a polite smile. You didn’t find yourself put off by the stranger, thinking to yourself that talking to someone you didn’t know, an objective listener who was paid not to judge you, might be for the best.

You soon found out that was easier said than done.

The first visit had been rocky, barely mumbling a thing and constantly fidgeting. You had hardly been able to meet his eye, and the session had abruptly ended when you’d left early, stumbling over your words as you gave some half assed excuse for your sudden departure. He was far more understanding than you deserved during your second visit. Wracked with guilt and anxiety, you’d written some things down that you wanted to talk about, and thankfully, the man hadn’t laughed at you. In fact, you remembered how fondly he looked at you as you unfolded it.

As it turned out, you didn’t need the slip of paper at all. Notes forgotten, you had rambled on for an hour. It was like once you started, you just couldn’t stop, and Steve simply listened the entire time. The next time he spoke to you was only to tell you that your time was up, and both embarrassment and disappointment had flooded through you. It must have been obvious, plain as day on your features, because Steve reassured you that it was normal to ramble. 

You had been reluctant to leave. After years of biting your tongue and living in fear of even making the wrong sound, you finally found someone to listen. Even if it was only a stranger getting paid for it, it was still something. There was someone to express your fears to, and although it had taken some time, terrified that you’d say the wrong thing and upset him, eventually, you started to express your anger too.

“...and then I get angry all over again,” you continued when he said nothing. “...because I’m smart, because red flags in others’ relationships have always been so obvious to me. I’ve always been the mom friend, the one who can spot trouble before it even starts. I’ve helped friends get out of situations before they even had the chance to turn sour…”

You shook your head.

“...and yet...it took a slap to the face to realize just how deep I was in? Not the jealousy, not the anger issues nor the way he’d isolated me from just about everyone in my life...but a slap? It should’ve never gotten to that.”

“You can’t blame yourself for the actions of others.”

It wasn’t the first time you’d heard that. Hell, it wasn’t even the first time he’d told you that, and yet here you were again.

“We can go in circles analyzing your own behavior and the things you did and the things you said, but the truth is that you could play it out in your head a million times. You could do every single thing differently, and it still wouldn’t change a thing.”

The corner of his lips lifted into a crooked smile, a familiar sight.

“Some people are simply cruel, and it has nothing at all to do with you.”

You sharply inhaled, unsure of why such a simple statement resonated with you so deeply. You stared at Steve, blinking a few times, opening your mouth to respond when he glanced at the clock. It was a tell tale sign, and your shoulders sagged. You would think that after seeing him for 7 months now, you’d be used to leaving after only an hour, but it never got easier.

“That’s all the time we have for today,” he said, standing. “You’re progressing nicely, Y/N.”

You rolled your eyes, and he chuckled, eyes crinkling. 

“You are. Progress and healing isn’t linear. Sometimes you’re going to take 2 steps back before you can take 10 more forward. It’s all part of the process,” he assured you.

You sighed.

“Well… I guess that does make me feel a bit better,” you replied.

He sent you a small smile as he guided you towards the door.

“I’ll see you next week?”

You returned his smile with a nod and didn’t let your face fall until the door was shut behind you. The good thing about therapy was that you could recognize your own toxic behaviors now, and it was clear that you were becoming reliant on your sessions with Steve. You had never liked being alone, but you had come all the way out here to learn to do just that. For your sake, you needed to learn to love being alone. It was how you had gotten into this mess to begin with.

Your phone vibrated with a call from an unknown number, and figuring it was a scam call, you silenced it.

Your house was practically in the middle of nowhere, so when the tv wasn’t blasting or you didn’t have Spotify playing some light tune, the house could get scarily quiet. But that was what you wanted...right? Harry had always been so explosive. The smallest of things could set him off and then the sound of yelling and shattering glass would rain down on you. Silence and solitude was what you wanted, needed.

Your phone buzzed again as you settled into your car, and you huffed when you noticed it was the same number. Again, you weren’t unfamiliar with scam callers so you ignored it. You noted that you needed to go grocery shopping, but you weren’t on the precipice of starvation just yet, so it could hold off for another day. By the time you got inside, your phone had started to buzz again, and with a frown, you decided to answer it.

“Hello?”

You were met with silence as you unlocked your door, and you repeated yourself, but there was no response. With a sigh, you hung up the phone. You both loved and hated coming home. It was quiet and safe and everything you had craved for years now, but the unfamiliarity of it all unnerved you. Sometimes you were just waiting for Harry to come flying through the door, screaming and breaking things. You had to remind yourself that this silence, this security, is how it’s supposed to be.

You went about making a quick meal, hopping into the shower while leaving the stove on low. When you got out, in the process of moisturizing your arms, you noticed your phone buzzing with another call. From that same number. Unease filled you as you neared it, and you hesitantly reached for it before answering.

Again, you were met with silence, and frustrated and annoyed, you simply blocked the number. A quick look through your phone revealed that you’d missed several calls from the same number while in the bathroom. Blinking with a deepening frown, you set your phone down and made your way to your kitchen. Dinner, like always these days, was quiet. You curled up on the couch with your plate while you watched some old sitcom.

The rest of the night passed as blandly as it always did. Sleep was much easier to find these days, so you had no trouble as soon as your head hit the pillow. However, just as you were on the verge, your phone buzzed with another call. This number didn’t match the previous one, but it was unknown nonetheless. With a groan, you put your phone on silent and rolled over, sleep claiming you.

“I know it’s you,” you sneered into the phone.

Unsurprisingly, you were met with the faint sound of breathing, and you clenched your jaw. You slammed the car door behind you before stomping across the parking lot.

“I know it’s you,” you quietly repeated. “Stay away from me.”

You hung up before blocking the number, the 10th number you had blocked in the past week. Every few hours or so a day, like clockwork, you got calls from an unknown number. You’d always end up blocking the number after the first few calls, but they always called again from a different one. At first, they’d say nothing, and you’d listen to silence for a few seconds before hanging up. Now, they’d taken to breathing in your ear like a creep. It wasn’t even until you blocked the 3rd number did it finally hit you.

Harry.

Harry freaking Osborn.

You felt like such an idiot for not putting it together sooner. Of course, it was Harry. Was this not the same man who threatened to hunt you down and drag you back like some animal if you ever left him? You had always equated woman beaters to cowards so you never thought he’d have the nerve to actually do it. Putting the pieces together didn’t bring you any comfort. Your filthy rich abusive ex had managed to track you down. What comfort was there to find in that?

Since that day, you hadn’t had a proper night of sleep. Your mind was constantly at war with itself on what to do. Having been down this road before, you knew the police would be no help. You’d gone to them once before, at the very beginning after the first time he’d hit you. It was your first harsh lesson that money ruled over everything. If you thought hard enough, you could still recall his hands around your throat, eyes alight with anger at what you’d tried to pull.

Still, you considered at least trying to get a restraining order but at the end of the day, that was a mere piece of paper. If Harry came to your door, it wasn’t going to stop him from hurting you, and that’s even if the whole process went through. They don’t just give restraining orders out willy nilly. You tried not to dwell on that hypothetical situation, but if he’d found your number, it would only be a matter of time before he found your address.

“Oh!”

You’d only just entered the grocery store, barely stepping into an aisle when you bumped into someone. The chips and bread in his hands went flying to the floor, and apologies tumbled from your lips. It was only after you helped him pick up what you made him drop did you realize who you’d run into.

“Dr. Rogers...hi,” you breathed.

The corner of his lips pulled into a crooked smile, head tilting to the side as his gaze fell onto you.

“We’ve discussed this before, Y/N. You’re more than welcome to call me Steve,” he told you.

You gave a nervous chuckle, nodding.

“Yeah...uh… I normally do, it just...it just slipped my mind,” you replied.

He blinked at you, eyes narrowing just a bit as he studied you. His brows furrowed in that concerned way you were used to, a silver strand of hair kissing his forehead.

“Everything okay…?”

You folded your arms over your chest, nodding with a strained smile.

“Everything’s fine,” you lied. “It’s just… It’s been a weird week. Our next session cannot come fast enough.”

You forced a light laugh, and he joined you. He placed a hand on his hip, eyes boring into your own.

“There’s a coffee shop just over there,” he gestured. “Did you want to sit and have a chat?”

You frantically shook your head.

“Oh, no. I couldn’t,” you told him. “I-.”

“I know I’m your therapist, but I want you to think of me as a confidant outside of the office too. You’re more than welcome to talk to me anytime. In fact, I encourage it,” he interrupted. 

You nervously eyed him with a frown.

“Are...are you sure?”

His smile was comforting.

“This may be my job, but it’s one I chose because it’s one I enjoy. I don’t want you to feel like you’re only allowed to talk to me during our sessions,” he quietly said.

You bit your lip, and Steve continued.

“I’d hate to think that you’re bottling things up for days on end, suffering in silence because you’re just waiting to talk to me,” he confessed.

Your shoulders sagged, and you hesitantly nodded.

“...okay. I just need to get a few things for the house.”

“Okay,” he said with a smile. “You know where to find me.”

You parted ways, and a sigh escaped you. You really didn’t want to become reliant on Steve. Wasn’t the whole point of therapy to learn how to process your feelings and cope with them better? Running to your therapist every time you have a problem just seemed counterproductive. And yet, once your car was loaded up with the few items you bought, you found yourself making your way to the coffee shop.

After ordering a small drink, you easily spotted Steve at a table in the back. You noted that even outside of your sessions, he still dressed nicely. The dark button down he wore contrasted with his light hair, dark slacks making him appear taller. You felt simultaneously nervous and comforted as you settled across from him. There was a brief silence, one in which you sipped on your drink while he eyed you before finally speaking.

“So what’s on your mind?”

What a loaded question. You struggled over whether or not to tell him the truth. Your abusive ex had found you somehow and was currently harassing you. That’s not something you could just casually drop into the conversation. Besides, Steve was your therapist, not your friend. You didn’t think it fair to rope him into the drama with your ex. That wasn’t part of his job description. Right?

“Just sleepless nights,” you said.

It wasn’t a complete lie. Steve eyed you like he was waiting for you to continue, blue eyes soft.

“I’m also worried that...my past might not remain in the past.”

Once again, this wasn’t a complete lie. 

“How so?” Steve hummed.

“I can’t help but wonder about what will happen if Harry finds me. He always threatened that he would if I ever left, and while I never believed him before, I just keep wondering… What if he does?”

Steve tilted his head at you, and you leaned back in your seat with a sigh.

“I’ve moved all the way out here to get away from him. I’ve isolated myself because I thought it was for the best, but it would have the opposite effect if he ever found me. I’ve never been particularly close with my family as you well know, and I’ve left all of my friends. I’m all alone here, and it’s the worst thing to be if he ever did track me down.”

Like always, you had started to ramble, and you snapped your mouth closed, embarrassment flooding through you.

“What brought all of this on?”

Steve’s eyes were sincere as he ran them over you, handsome face twisted in concern, and you glanced away.

“Just thinking,” you lamely replied, eyes on your drink now. “It’s something I’ve always thought about, sure, but it’s been more pressing as of late.”

“Well...that’s what I’m here for. You shouldn’t have to deal with these thoughts alone,” he eventually said.

“I know,” you sighed, rubbing your temples. “...but I shouldn’t become so reliant on you. The whole point of therapy is to learn to deal with these things on my own, is it not?”

Steve exhaled, leaning back in his seat as he gazed at you.

“Not necessarily. Not always,” he answered. “...but even then, until you can get to that point, it’s best to lean into your support. After all, you’ve gotta crawl before you can walk, right?”

You nodded, taking in his words.

“...and even when you’re walking, you usually need someone there in the beginning to hold your hand in case you fall. I encourage you to talk to your friends more, maybe even branch out and find some friends here, but I’m here as well. Don’t halt any of your progress because you feel like you need to be dealing with this alone. Outside help does more for your progress than you’d think.”

“I guess that does make sense. I don’t know… I just- I’d feel so bad about showing up at your office throughout all hours of the day or calling your receptionist-.”

You cut yourself off when he took out a pen and a slip of paper.

“Here,” he said, scribbling a number on it before handing it to you. “This is my personal number.”

Your eyes widened. 

“Oh, I can’t-.”

“It’s fine, trust me.”

You hesitantly returned his smile, taking the piece of paper.

“Don’t hesitate to call me anytime you want to,” he told you, standing.

You joined him, fingering the note before sliding it into your pocket.

“Thank you…Steve. I don’t know if I’ll ever actually call you, but just knowing that I have the option makes me feel so much better,” you whispered.

You heard his pager go off, and you watched as he glanced at it. He let out a sigh, and if you didn’t know any better, you’d say he sounded disappointed.

“I’ve got to go, but I hope you’ll use that number if you need to.”

Thanking him again, you said your goodbyes, and you watched as he exited the shop. The slip of paper felt heavy in your pocket, so you solved that by putting his number into your phone. Just as you were about to put it back into your purse, it buzzed with a call from an unknown number. Fear settled into your gut, and with a grimace, you silenced the call and blocked the number.

You were late. You were so late it was laughable to even show up at this point. Your shoes tapped against the tile as the numbers on the elevator lit up as it passed each floor. You slipped through the doors as soon as they parted, and with no mind to check in, the receptionist calling your name, you raced towards Steve’s office. You reached his door just as he opened it to step out, and the papers that he was holding scattered to the floor as you collided with him. You hadn’t even realized how fast you’d been running until you were knocked on your ass. 

You could hear the heels of the receptionist as she ran over, apologizing to Steve for letting you slip past her, but he waved her off. She reluctantly returned to her desk, and you scrambled to sit up, reaching for everything that had fallen.

“I was beginning to think you’d never show,” Steve joked.

You gave a shaky laugh.

“I uh...I got caught up,” you replied through trembling lips, fingers shaking as you struggled to stack all of his paperwork.

You could feel Steve’s eyes on you, but you avoided his gaze.

“I know I’m late. Our hour is practically over, but I- I just… Um, crap.”

You had dropped the papers all over again, and you both reached for them at the same time. At least, that was what you thought. Steve’s hands covered yours, and you only just realized how badly they were shaking.

“Y/N.”

His voice was soft, exactly what you needed right now, but you couldn’t look him in the eye.

“Y/N, is everything alright?”

Your chest was tight, and you wanted to will your lips to form a yes. You wanted to tell him that everything was fine, but you couldn’t even get the words out. He called your name again, and you suddenly stood, taking the papers with you. You handed them to him as he followed your lead, still avoiding his eye.

“I’m sorry for being late, and I know that you probably have another session-.”

“I don’t,” he interrupted. “Come in.”

You glanced up from beneath your lashes as he opened the door, ushering you inside. You wrapped your arms around yourself as he shut the door behind you.

“Is everything okay?”

You turned your face away from him, unable to keep it from crumbling as you held in a sob.

“Y/N.”

The way he called your name had you freezing in place, a shiver running through you at his firm tone, authority in the one simple word. In a way, it reminded you of Harry, and you looked to him with wide eyes. Seeming to understand what he’d done, Steve sighed before sitting down, making himself appear smaller to show that he wasn’t a threat to you.

“I’m sorry,” he genuinely apologized. “I shouldn’t have spoken to you like that. Please...sit.”

You hesitantly did so and reached out to take the tissue he offered you. You hadn’t even realized that you’d started crying.

“Now… I’m going to ask you again, and I’m begging you to please be honest with me. I’m here to help you in any way I can,” he whispered.

You wiped your face, sinking your teeth into your lip.

“It’s...Harry.”

Steve’s face was pinched with concern.

“What is it? Are you having nightmares again-?”

“No, you don’t understand. He’s calling me,” you confessed.

Steve froze, blinking a few times before his eyes widened, your words finally registering. You sniffed, fighting to hold in a sob.

“It started weeks ago, before we ran into each other that night…”

You didn’t miss the disappointment that flitted over his features, lips pressed together.

“...and I know I should’ve said something then-.”

“You should’ve called me.”

“I know! I know, but… I don’t know. I just wanted to handle this on my own,” you quietly said.

He didn’t respond, and you turned your eyes towards the window.

“Last time...I wasn’t able to get away on my own. I wanted it to be different this time. At first, I simply blocked him but he kept calling and calling from different numbers. Then I got a new phone...and eventually another, but it’s still the same. He keeps finding me,” you tearfully told him. “...and today…”

Your eyes met his, and you were comforted by the concern you saw there.

“Today I was at the police station. That’s why I was late.”

Steve straightened up at this.

“I thought that maybe I could get a restraining order or maybe they could trace the calls to show that it’s him, but the whole visit was useless. They boiled it down to petty relationship drama, and since there’s no record of his violent behavior because I never reported anything…”

You shrugged, scoffing.

“There’s basically nothing they can do. The whole visit was a waste,” you spat.

Steve heaved a sigh, and he slowly reached out towards you, leaning forward.

“I didn’t ask before, but… Is it alright if I hold your hand?”

You nodded. That was what you liked about Steve. He was always asking for your consent with just about everything, even the simplest of things, and it was such a nice contrast to Harry who used to feel like he was entitled to your body. Steve took your hand, throwing you a comforting smile as he eyed you, worried.

“I wish that you had called me,” he said.

You looked down, guilt filling you.

“I could have helped you before it ever got to this point. I have friends on the force, friends in high places who could lock this creep up if you wanted.”

“I feel like an idiot.”

Of course Steve, Dr. Steven Rogers, knew people who could help you. Of course he did! Your stubbornness had gotten you far deeper into this than necessary. 

“What have I said about self deprecating language?”

“Sorry,” you murmured.

“You’re not an idiot. Don’t talk about yourself like that. You’re just a woman trying to find her strength again.”

You hesitantly nodded, and he brushed his thumb over the back of your hand.

“I want you to get rid of your phone,” he suggested.

You frowned, and he continued before you could question him.

“I’ll work on getting a new one for you. A secure one under my name.”

You frowned, not liking the idea of being so indebted to him.

“Steve, I don’t know-.”

“It’ll only be temporary. You can use it until I talk to some people and have him properly dealt with.”

Even though you weren’t keen on the idea, you reluctantly agreed.

“...and you have to promise me one thing…”

You eyed him, holding his gaze as you waited for him to continue.

“Promise me that you’ll call me the second he bothers you again,” he proposed.

Accepting the fact that your stubbornness was doing you more harm than good, you nodded. Steve seemed pleased with that, and with one last pat on your hand, he let you go. As he guided you out of your office, your phone in his hand, you felt more hopeful than you had in over a month. You felt so silly for not seeking out his help sooner, and you couldn’t deny the weight that had been lifted from your shoulders as you settled into your car.

True to his word, at your next session, Steve presented you with a new phone. It had all of your important contacts with Steve being at the top of the list. Embarrassment had flooded you as you thanked him with tears in your eyes. The week without your phone had been the most peace you’d had in a while, and you finally got some much needed rest.

“You haven’t heard anything from him, have you?” he’d asked you.

“No,” you answered, shaking your head. “Not a peep.”

He threw you that same smile that always brought you comfort.

“Good. Even if you never do, you’re always free to call me,” he’d reminded you.

Finally deciding to let your stubbornness go, you did. Talking to Steve outside of your sessions was easier than you thought it’d be. It was like talking to a friend. Sometimes you’d meet up at that same coffee shop not too far from his office, and other times you’d be putting a quick meal together while he was on the other line, listening to you ramble. You soon realized that it wasn’t just his profession that made him that way, but Steve truly was an unbiased listener. He never judged you for any steps back in your progress nor for any of your more self deprecating thoughts.

Best of all, you hadn’t heard anything more from Harry.

Not until he knocked on your door one night.

It was late when you’d heard the pounding on the wood, and having been watching tv in your room, you wondered if you imagined it. It was only moments later that you’d heard it again. Your eyes had widened, sitting up in alarm. No one knew you lived here. Not even your mailman. All of your mail collected at a Post Office box before you eventually went to pick it up. You stood, standing in your room, trembling in fear before a knock on your bedroom window had you screaming.

You didn’t hesitate to call the police, and it took longer than you liked for them to arrive. All the while, you dealt with knocking and pounding on your window and door. Back and forth, it alternated with minutes in between before stopping altogether when the sound of sirens could be heard. Unsurprisingly, and frustratingly, the police didn’t find anyone.

“Look, we’ll get this report down to the station,” the brunette had told you, not looking concerned in the least.

Frustration filled you, and you shuffled on your feet.

“Can’t you...idk, have someone stay here? Not even the whole night but just a few hours in case they come back?”

The tall man sighed, and you glanced at his badge. Officer Barnes, you noted.

“With all due respect mam, we can’t just have one of our officers sitting in your yard because someone knocked on your door-.”

“I told you-!”

“I know, I know. The windows too,” he said, sounding exasperated, and your frown deepened. “The best we can do is get this down to the station. You’re more than welcome to call us again should anyone come back.”

You crossed your arms over your chest as they left, finding no relief. You swallowed as you thought about Steve. You didn’t want to, but Harry had found you, tormenting you by knocking on your house in the dead of night. This was exactly the reason Steve had given you his number. Swallowing down your stubbornness, and with a deep breath, you called him.

He didn’t sound like he was asleep, and for that you were grateful. You would’ve kicked yourself if you had woken him up. Finally getting out why you’d called him was an awkward affair, stumbling over your words, and you felt even worse as he agreed to come over. There was no hesitation, and you couldn’t help but feel as if you were taking advantage of Steve’s generosity. 

You mumbled out your address, surprised to realize how relieved you were. You couldn’t remember the last time you had trusted a man this much. Harry had made you so paranoid, but you supposed that was what therapy was for. This was why you had all those sessions with Steve. To learn to heal and to trust again.

You opened the door with a small smile when he finally pulled into your yard. He was dressed comfortably, and you felt much better about your own ratty t-shirt and leggings, but his casual attire made him no less striking. 

“Thank you,” you breathed as he stepped inside.

“I was up going over paperwork when you called. I’m glad you did,” he told you.

You leaned against the door as you closed it, rubbing your arms.

“I didn’t know if I should. It’s just… He was here, Steve. Knocking on my door and window like something out of a horror movie, and the police treated it like it was nothing,” you complained.

Steve tilted his head at you with a sad smile.

“First thing in the morning, I’m going to make some more calls. Since he’s in town, it should be easy to have him put away. At the very least, a restraining order.”

Relief and hope filled you as you brushed past him.

“I really can’t thank you enough for coming over. I promise I won’t keep you long, just until I feel I can be ok being alone,” you said over your shoulder.

He followed you into the kitchen.

“Can I get you anything to drink? Eat? It’s the least I can do.”

“Some wine might be nice. You might want to pour yourself a glass too,” he suggested.

You chuckled, and he joined you, but you agreed with him nonetheless. You poured a glass for both of you, and you leaned against the counter with a sigh.

“I just don’t understand why he can’t leave me alone. Hasn’t he put me through enough?”

Steve hummed.

“From what you’ve told me, he strikes me as a narcissist. I’d bet that he doesn’t want you to move on,” he mused.

“Maybe,” you distractedly replied as you heard your phone ring. “I’ll be right back. Let me grab that super quick, it might be Nakia.”

Your phone was in your room, but by the time you reached it, it had stopped ringing. Sure enough, it was a missed call from your best friend, and you brought your phone with you to the kitchen, determined to call her back. Steve’s eyes were fond when you returned, and you shrugged.

“I need to call her back. I’ll only be a moment,” you said, swiping your glass.

“Take all the time you need.”

You made your way to the living room, taking your place on the couch as you called her back. She answered almost immediately.

“Hey, what’s up?”

She greeted you with a soft exhale.

“Uh… Harry’s...dead.”

You froze at her words, pulling the glass away from your lips. You blinked a few times, trying to come to terms with what she’d said.

“...what?”

“I just found out. I honestly didn’t know how you’d take the news, but I thought you should know.”

She was right. You yourself didn’t even know how you felt about this news. You had loved this man at one point...but he was also your abuser. This was good news...right?

“How?” you finally asked her.

She sighed.

“Apparently, he’d been missing for months-.”

“Months?”

“Yeah,” she quietly replied. “They found and identified his body today. I just saw it on the news.”

Your stomach twisted as the truth, and the meaning behind it, sank in. Just because Harry had been missing for months, it didn’t mean that he’d been dead for months. It very well could have been him harassing you like you believed. But...if they’d found and identified his body today, then there was no way it was him at your house tonight.

“Thank you,” you eventually said. “Um… I’m glad you told me.”

“Are you alright?”

“Yeah, I’ll be okay,” you honestly replied. “I’m just a little unsure of how I feel about all of this, but I’ll call you tomorrow when I’ve slept on it.”

“Alright. Be safe.”

You said your goodbyes and returned to the kitchen with an empty glass.

“Everything okay?” Steve questioned.

Your face must have been an open book.

“Harry’s dead,” you scoffed, blinking as you still fought to process this.

Steve didn’t respond, and just like one of your sessions, he seemed to be waiting for you to continue.

“Apparently he’d been missing for months and they just identified his body today. There’s no way it could have been him knocking on my door tonight, and now...now I’m even more scared than I was before,” you confessed. “God, I can’t even fully come to terms with my feelings on this because I’m realizing that Harry might not have been the only thing I should’ve been afraid of.”

“Hey,” Steve soothingly said, nearing you. “Are you sure it wasn’t someone who got lost? Maybe they had the wrong house?”

You thought about it before shaking your head.

“No, it definitely didn’t seem like that. Oh my God,” you cried, letting your head fall into your hands.

Steve pulled you into his arms, startling you, but you eventually relaxed, the wine settling into your system nicely.

“It’s going to be alright-.”

“What if it isn’t? Because I’m the idiot who thought that Harry was the only possible danger out there, I’ve attracted another without even realizing it.”

“Hey, hey,” he soothed. “Maybe it was nothing, and maybe it was more. Either way, I’m only a phone call away. Say the word, and I’ll have an officer living in your yard if need be.”

You chuckled at that, and nodded.

“Thank you,” you said, looking at him. “I-.”

You swallowed your words when his lips met yours, soft and demanding as they moved against your own. You were stunned, and it took you a moment to realize just what was happening before you pulled away. You stared at Steve with wide eyes, hesitantly reaching up to touch your lips as you took a step back.

“Steve…”

“You have no idea how long I’ve wanted to do that,” he breathed.

Your lips parted, a soft gasp escaping you at both his words and the fire in his gaze. It was so sudden and great that it froze you.

“Steve, I think… I think you should go,” you whispered, almost in disbelief.

He frowned at you, tilting his head just a tad as he folded his arms over his chest.

“Go? Why would I do that when you’re not feeling well?”

You opened your mouth to repeat yourself, even demand to know what he meant, but a sudden wave of nausea hit you, head feeling fuzzy. Steve caught you just as you stumbled, and you frowned, fighting to get out of his arms.

“What…?”

“You seemed really tense. I thought you could use something to take the edge off…”

You stared at him in disbelief, attempting to blink away the stars in your vision. Your legs felt like they were made of Jell-O as Steve guided you towards the living room. He deposited you on the couch, and you could hardly do anything as he laid you down, sitting beside you. His blue eyes, normally so soft and comforting, were dark with a longing you had never seen before.

“You were like a wounded little lamb when you first came to me,” he murmured, brushing his thumb over your lip. “So lost...broken… It’s because of me that you’re even halfway back together again.”

His hands moved to slowly undress you, taking his time, and your hands might as well had been air as you tried to stop him. You shuddered as the cool air in the house hit you, nipples pebbling, even more so when Steve brushed his fingers over them.

“I wanted to wrap you in my arms during that first session. Drag you back as you tried to leave, show you how a woman should be touched by a man.”

You were in a state of shock, disbelief coursing through you as you watched Steve undress. Even at his age, the man was a wall of muscle, thick bands making you swallow in fear as you hopelessly tried to tell yourself that this was a dream.

“Steve,” you whispered.

“I had to be patient. I didn’t want to scare you off, push you into the arms of another dangerous man. I had to help you heal before showing the kind of man I can be for you,” he told you, fingers on your face as he neared you again.

Your whole body felt weighed down, and you couldn’t stop your tears even if you wanted to. Your touch was light as you pressed your hands to his chest, feeling like you were going to be sick as he settled over you.

“Harry is gone. He can’t hurt you anymore, and I’m going to make sure no one ever hurts you again.”

The irony was not lost on you, but the way he said that struck something in you, and your mind traveled to the unthinkable. You didn’t get the chance to think about it some more before Steve was forcing himself inside of you. A choking noise escaped you as he filled you to the hilt, your legs spread wide to accommodate his frame. Steve released a shuddering breath, breathing through his nose, body trembling as he delighted in the feel of you wrapped around him.

It was amazing that while all of your senses felt dulled, you could feel his pulsing member inside of you so well. He surrounded you, bulky frame caging you in, and you felt like you would pass out from suffocation. Steve sighed just before his lips met yours, and your stomach clenched as he moved within you. A broken moan slipped out against your will, and Steve groaned at the sound.

“I’ll show you pleasure that you’ve never known, touch you in ways you never felt. I know how to make you happy,” he purred, his pace languid as he thrust in and out of you.

You turned your head away, the furniture of your living room blurring together from whatever he’d slipped into your drink.

“I know your deepest desires and your deepest fears. I know you better than anyone else out there…”

You hated that in a way, Steve was right. You’d bared yourself to him under the guise of trust and healing. He really did know all there was to know about you, and you hated yourself for it. You hated him for hiding his intentions so well, for taking advantage of your vulnerability and trauma. He tutted as you started to squirm beneath him.

“After all I’ve done for you...in all the ways I’ve helped you, the least you could do is give yourself to me. I deserve to reap the benefits of my efforts-.”

You gasped beneath him, legs kicking around him, but he only pressed himself more firmly against you.

“...I’ve gone out of my way to make sure you were safe, to protect you so that no more threats remained to you nor our relationship.”

“You’re crazy-.”

You cut yourself off with a yelp as he nipped at your neck, jerking in his hold as he continued to snap his hips into yours. His hands were gentle on you, a contrast to how he fucked you, his pace increasing with every passing minute. Despite the fact that you could hardly move, he wrapped his arms around you, holding you in place as the sound of your coupling filled the room, your core now wet and slick from his ministrations.

Steve seemed intoxicated, blissfully immersed in the feel of you and how you clung to him. His low groans and moans filled your ear, and you could do nothing as he covered your lips again, tongue tasting you, moaning at the taste of wine that still remained.

“My touch will never cause you harm, bringing you nothing but pleasure for the rest of our lives.”

~

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#dark steve rogers #dark steve x reader #Steve Rogers #steve rogers x reader

[marauderundercover]

The Strings that Bind Us: Ch. 11

Day 11: alt prompt: Candy

AO3

Prev

“The boy is watching us.” Damian complains, poking her arm to get her attention. Marinette’s head snaps up to look in the direction he was pointing. She hated being so on edge, but this was Gotham, and this was one of her boys. She wasn’t about to let him get hurt. When she sees the boy in question though, the tension falls away. 

“That’s our neighbor, Tim.” She tells him softly, ruffling his hair gently before standing up and waving the boy over. He blushes, but walks over. “Hello Tim, how are you?” 

“Hello again, ma’am.” He says, rubbing the back of his neck awkwardly- an action she’d seen Adrien do a million times when they were younger. 

“Are you here with your parents?” She asks, glancing around as she tries to push down the bad feeling. It wasn’t the same kind of bad as when she lost Jason, but it still wasn’t pleasant. 

“Er, not exactly.” He says. 

“Not exactly like they’re at the other end of the park, or not exactly as in they don’t know you’re here?” She asks, crossing her arms. She holds back a snort as she glances down and sees Damian mimicking her body language and facial expression. 

“The second one.” Tim mumbles, his face bright red. She sighs, frowning. 

“Sweetie, you do know Gotham is incredibly dangerous, right?” She asks. He nods. “Well Damian and I were about to go home for lunch and I don’t feel right about leaving you alone here. Wanna join us?” She asks, heart clenching as the boy’s entire face lights up. It reminded her of Adrien, how Gabriel never spent time with him, how he was deprived of love and affection for years. Seeing those same signs on Tim, she swears that it won’t go on as long as it did for Adrien. She won’t let it. 

---

“Mari, love.” Bruce says. Marinette glances up from the cookies she’s helping Tim and Damian decorate, raising an eyebrow at her boyfriend. “Could I see you for just a minute?” She frowns, but nods, kissing the top of Damian’s head and ruffling Tim’s hair as she walks past them. Following Bruce out of the kitchen, she makes sure the door stays open so that she can still hear the boys. After the initial antagonizing from Damian, he’d stopped trying to hit Tim with kitchen utensils. Progress. 

“What’s up?” She asks. Bruce raises an eyebrow. 

“Um, we have a new child?” He says, the confusion clear on his face. She snorts. 

“He’s not ours,” She says. Not yet. “He lives in the manor next door and we ran into him at the park. I didn’t feel comfortable letting him walk home by himself. I promised Damian candy if he let Tim ride home with us but we didn’t have any candy so we made cookies instead and-” She rambles, only stopping when kisses her. She melts into the kiss, wrapping her arms around his neck. 

“Maman, Tim stole the green sprinkles.” Damian says, barging into the room. She steps away from Bruce, moving her hand down to hold his as she turns to the youngest member of their family. 

“Did he steal them or did you decide you wanted them after Tim picked them up?” Marinette asks, raising an eyebrow. This had already happened with the blue spoon, the red icing and the rainbow sprinkles. Damian scowls, crossing his arms. 

“But I want them.” He says. Marinette glances at Bruce, who simply shrugs. She resists the urge to roll her eyes. This was definitely a teachable moment, and Bruce….was being Bruce.

“Minou, remember when we talked about sharing, earlier? And how sometimes it’s okay to let other people have a turn instead of getting mad? Did you hit Tim again?” She asks, and he shakes his head. 

“No.” He says. She searches his face for a minute before grinning widely. 

“I’m so proud of you.” She says, letting go of Bruce’s hand so that she can scoop up Damian. He huffs, but doesn’t object as she hugs him to her. “Let’s go ask Tim for a turn with the sprinkles, okay?” She suggests, grinning as the boy nods. The only way things could be better would be if Jason and Dick were here too. 

---

Once Tim’s gone home and Damian was taking a nap, Marinette decides to go sketch in the library. She wanted to try and make some new outfits for her family, even though she hadn’t designed in ages. Well, besides the logo for her cafe (a place that she felt she was never at anymore). Walking into the library, she smiles at Jason, nose stuck in a book as he sits on the window seat. He glances up, but scowls at her before looking back at his book. Ouch. 

“Jay?” She says tentatively, stepping closer to him. He huffs and shifts so that his back is facing her. “Are you okay?” 

“Why do you care?” He snaps, whirling around to glare at her. She flinches back. His face wasn’t angry like she expected. Instead, he looked incredibly hurt. 

“Because, Jason, whether you believe it or not, I have always seen you as my son. I care about you, honey, and when you look so upset- it worries me.” She says, practically hugging herself as she stands a foot away from him. She wanted nothing more than to wrap him into her arms, but he’d kept her at arms length since they got back to Gotham. And she didn’t want to push him. 

“Then why the hell did you replace me?” He yells, his voice cracking. She blinks. 

“Replace you?” 

“You told me, before I even agreed to come home, that you didn’t replace me. That I wasn’t replaceable. And we get back and I’m replaced with that stupid neighbor kid and the Demon Spawn, so yeah, M, I’m kinda pissed.” He rants. 

“I didn’t replace you, Jason, I would never replace you. Damian is still little, and I know he might not have had constant supervision in the League, but he will here. He needs to be a kid. And Tim-” She stops, pursing her lips. “Jay, there are more types of abuse than physical.” 

“What?”

“He didn’t say it, not exactly. But I had a friend growing up, and everyone thought he was so perfect, even I thought that for a while. He was rich and smart, and I just knew that he had the best life.” She says, stopping and letting out a shaky breath. Adrien didn’t bother her, but this story was going to bring up Gabriel. And she wasn’t really over that yet. Didn’t think she’d ever be over that. “His father was emotionally abusive, and neglectful. He was never around and he didn’t care about Adrien’s wellbeing, just what Adrien could do for his image. Eventually, Adrien’s father was revealed to be Hawkmoth- Paris’ villain. Looking back on it, there were so many red flags. So many things that happened that someone should have seen. Someone should have read between the lines and got him out of there. But no one did.” 

“And you think Tim is going through something similar?” Jason asks, his voice softer than it had been when they first started talking. She nods. 

“I haven’t figured out how to see if I’m right in a legal way, yet. But until I can figure out how to get him out of that situation, I figured I could show him that people care about him for who he is, rather than what he can do for them.” She explains. Jason nods, slowly. 

“I uh, I could help too.” He says. Marinette smiles. 

“Only if you want to. It’s not your responsibility to fix the mistakes of adults.” She says. Jason nods. 

“Yeah, but knowing you and B, the Replacement’s gonna be a Wayne eventually. Might as well get used to the kid.” He says. She rolls her eyes, reaching out to ruffle his hair- breath catching in her throat as he wraps his arms around her. Immediately hugging him back, she can’t help but sigh lightly. It may not be today, but they were going to be okay. All of them- her boys.

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