#honestly I think the designs on their own are decent but it’s the repetition of the silhouette that bugs me | Explore Tumblr Posts and Blogs

parkmuse · 4 years

Text

Not So Honest (M)

Word Count: 9322 (Reposted) (Wonhopes Masterlist)

Jungkook has got a pretty BIG problem, and he desperately asks you for your help.

cr.

Ding dong! Ding dong! Ding dong! Dingdongdingdongdingdon-

You let out a heavy sigh, pausing your show as you get up from the couch to answer the door. That annoying repetitive doorbell rings could only come from one person.

“YAH! Where’s your fucking keys you brat-“ You stop mid-sentence from yelling at him because your eyes catch onto the large package he’s struggling to hold along with a mountain of grocery bags in his hands.

“Yeah, I forgot them this morning and remembered once I was at the store. By the way, this was at the doorstep-“ You immediately snatch it out of his grasp, twirling around as you let go of the door and let it slam back in his face. You run to the table, squealing as you set it down to try and go look for something to open it with. “My package arrived!”

You hear the front door rattle a few times before its shoved open again, him struggling to get all the bags in as he forces the door closed with a bang. “What the fuck Y/N? And I don’t even get a thank you for picking that up for you?”

“I didn’t ask for your help, Jungkook,” You replied, waving him off before you walked back over to your package.

You’ve been waiting a whole two weeks for another one of these Amazon packages. You did a little contract with some sellers there that you would test out their products for free and give your honest review in return that you get free samples of the items. So far you’ve gotten blenders, make up, wireless head phones, even a decent cellphone all for free. And all you had to do was type up a quick, honest review with the pros and cons of the product that took less than 5 minutes, then you could enjoy all your free shit. Did I say free already?

“What’s in the package? Another crappy phone?” Jungkook yells from the kitchen, placing all the food in their designated locations. You let out another heavy sigh before responding to him. “Why do you care? Go hangout with Jimin and suck each other’s dicks or something.”

“You’re just jealous cause I could probably get more dick or actually scratch that, any dick at all compared to you if I really wanted to.” You shot him a glare and he smirks, then sticks his tongue out before placing the milk in the fridge.

God, you hated that brat. You’ve hated him for so many years, basically all of your life since you’ve known each other since elementary. Your parents were great friends so you always had to hang out with him when you would go to each other’s houses, dealing with him pulling your hair and stealing all your food and toys from you almost three times a week. Once you hit high school you were even forced to baby sit him even though you were only two years older, but his parents baby him so much and think he’s not fit to stay alone in his own damn home that they’d throw him over at yours.

Even now, as two damn grown adults you are still stuck with him, forced to share an apartment since you two go to the same college because his parents don’t trust him alone or with strangers. It was a living nightmare since you basically had no privacy with this brat, always meddling in your stuff and your life and him walking out of his room practically naked every damn day. Sure, he’s grown up really well, and he’s always been cute I guess, but holy hell he gets on your nerves so much he’s lost the on chance that you would ever find him attractive. The only upside to this is that you get help paying rent, but honestly you think you’d rather live on the streets than be with this annoying kid.

At least your annoyance will be at its minimal today, too excited to let him cloud your day when you got more cool free shit-

“What the fuck?” You spit, eyes bugged and jaw dropped once you comprehend exactly what Amazon just sent to you.

“What? Another flip phone or some shit- woah,” Jungkook’s eyes widened as well once he peeks over your shoulder to see what the big deal was.

Sex toys.

Not one, not two.

A whole box full.

There were different kinds of toys like vibrators and silicone dicks in all the colors you could possibly imagine. You didn’t even know what half the shit in that box was either; there were weird looking eggs to obscure shaped things you assumed were supposed to replicate a dick but had an extended side that you couldn’t figure out what it was actually intended to do. You pulled out a box and on the cover read Sassy Anal Beads in fancy cursive lettering, finally making you lose your patience.

“Why the fuck would they send me this shit!?” You huffed, tossing the stuff back in the box. You had no use for any of this. Sure, they could keep you company since you were single as hell but you really wished they would have sent you something way more useful.

“Maybe they knew you needed it— OW!” Jungkook yelps as you punch him in the chest. He pouts as he clutches onto his pecs but you just roll your eyes.

“Shut up, you deserved it.” You walk back to the couch and plop on it with a sigh, resuming your TV show.

“Aren’t you supposed to review all this shit?” He says, digging through some more of the box as he pulls an unrealistic sized purple dildo.

“I’m not going to bother. I’ll just say they were all shitty or something,” You say as you bring your feet up to the coffee table.

“Well that’s not really fair. You have to give your honest opinion. What if King Cock Deluxe deserves five stars?” He snickers, waving it over in front of your face.

You scrunch your face in disgust, “Stop being gross.”

He laughs and tosses it back in the box, then pulls out another item. “What the hell is this thing?”

You see him examining it in his hands, his face scrunching up in confusion. It was small and black, a ring attached to the end and the top having two protruding bumps.

You’ve actually heard of that one before from one of your girl friends who was gushing all about it. It was a rabbit designed cock ring, the two ends from the top was actually a vibrator so when you had sex the “rabbit ears” would stimulate your clit. Your friend said although it looked really ugly it really did the trick, but her boyfriend never liked using it because it was way too tight on him.

“It’s a cock ring,” You said unamused, standing up to walk over to the kitchen.

“Cock ring?” Jungkook responded, still sounding confused as ever.

“Did I stutter?” You said, digging through the pantry.

“Does it make you feel really good or something?”

You turn back to face him so you can yell at him for asking so many questions, but stopped once you saw his face. He was still looking at the toy, examining it in his hand intensely.

A small smile crept on your lips, and you’re glad he was still too focused on the toy in his hands to see. “Yeah Jungkook, it makes you feel real good.”

He looks up at you with wide eyes, but quickly replaces his surprise with a lazy smirk. “Yeah right, this free shit would never work.” He tosses the toy back into the box.

You snicker at his response. How has he never heard of a cock ring? Was he that inexperienced? Jungkook’s a grown man, but you’ve always seen him as the little brat next door. “I mean, I heard that got a lot of positive feedback for being one of the best sex toys out there. Men go crazy about it,” You chimed in, continuing to tease him.

“That piece of rubber? Bullshit.” He walks back into the kitchen, throwing some more groceries into the fridge. After a couple of minutes of silence and fixing up the kitchen, Jungkook speaks up again.

“I mean, what does it even do? How is it that good?”

“I don’t know, but must be pretty amazing.” You were getting kind of tired of your little white lie, and his constant repetitiveness of the topic was staring to annoy you. Before he was about to speak up again you interrupted him.

“Jungkook! I told you to buy some more damn cereal!” You whack him on the back of the head and he groans.

“I got most of the stuff on the list!” He pouts.

“You had one job kid, and now we got milk and no cereal.” You huff, walking over to grab your purse. “I always have to do things on my own around here. I’ll be back in a bit.” You grab your keys and walk out the door.

You finally made your way back home after being stuck in traffic for a good thirty minutes just for some cereal. Damn that Jeon kid for forgetting one measly thing.

You were starving since you hadn’t eaten since breakfast, and you were too lazy to cook anything so why not just have some cereal? You walk to the kitchen to pull out a bowl, opening the box of Frosted Flakes and filling it up to the brim. You walk over to the fridge to grab the milk, opening the door. You were met with nothing but water bottles on the top shelf and some groceries at the bottom. Confused, you looked all over the sides and in the drawers. There was a whole carton before you left and now it disappeared!

Then it clicked in your head. Your eyebrows crinkled and you let out a heavy sigh, closing the fridge. “JUNGKOOK!”

That damn kid always brings the carton of milk into his room, sometimes drinking it straight out of the container. You hated sharing food with him for this very reason, and you should really get him to stop drinking that shit because he’s getting way too big for his own good.

You waited for a good minute just to give him mercy, but by now he should have answered you, walking out of his room with a yeah, yeah as he brings the carton back out.

But there was complete silence.

You groan, walking down the hall to where your bedrooms were. He better have a good ass explanation for why he hasn’t answered you by now. You twist the knob and roughly push the door open. “Where’s the fucking milk Jungkook?!”

You pause at the door, making eye contact with a seemingly alarmed Jungkook. He’s sitting on the edge of his bed faced away from you, shirtless again, head turned with his eyes wide and his mouth slightly ajar. He looks like a deer in the headlights, his hand clutching onto the sheets crumpled beside him.

“You’re just sitting there doing nothing but didn’t bother answering me?” You thought it was a little weird, but quickly brushed it off.

“Um—well, I—“ Before he can give you an explanation, your eyes catch the item you were looking for at the night stand beside where he was sitting.

“There it is, I fucking knew it!” You strode over to the carton.

“NO! DON’T COME HERE!” He hollers, causing you to stop in your tracks.

“Whoa no need to yell, what’s on your dick?”

“N-NOTHING! Just…go to the store and get more! This is my milk!”

You could have sworn you felt a vein pop out of your temple at his remark. “I just came from the damn store! That’s a brand new carton! And my milk your ass I paid for that!”

You were seriously getting tired of him. When will you finally be able to get away from him? 5 years? 10 years? Are you really going to have to spend the rest of your life with this brat?

You don’t even know why you’re listening to him at the moment. You can do whatever you want, he can’t stop you. You continue to make a beeline to your milk, running past him to grab it and run out. Your feet catches onto his blanket, causing you to trip over and onto the floor in front of him with a loud thump.

You groan on the floor, pushing the sheet off of you and sitting up as you rub your head. You turn your head to look at a mortified Jungkook, completely colorless as he stares back at you in complete fear and embarrassment. Confused, you were about to ask what his problem was but your eyes flicked south.

A mere inches from your face was his dick in his hand, semi hard and just…all out there. What definitely made your jaw drop was that right at the base was a familiar looking object, black with bunny ears sticking out at the top.

You covered your mouth, embarrassed to have caught him in the act but also trying so hard not to laugh in front of his face because you cannot believe he’s actually doing this.

“Y/N, I-I can explain-“

You get up on your feet and grab the milk from the night stand, walking straight to the door avoiding eye contact with him. “No need to Kook, pretty self-explanatory. You have fun with that!”

You just wanted to get out of there as quick as possible before it could get even more awkward, but he calls out to you, making you stop.

“No wait! Don’t go! I-Um…”

“If you think I’m going to sit here and watch you jack off you have another thing coming-“

“NO! It’s not that! Why the fuck would I ask you that? I’m not some sicko.”

“Says the one with a bunny cock ring on his dick-”

“OKAY! You got me there,” He sighs. “But I was just curious! What was so good about this piece of plastic? And then I put it on a-and…”

“And what?” It probably didn’t feel good as he expected it to. Hell, it’s supposed to be the complete opposite.

“Well, it’s kind of…kind of stuck.”

A few seconds of silence pass as you comprehend what he just said, then you burst out laughing. He jumped in his seat, surprised by your reaction but then gives you a glare and a pout. “Why are you laughing?!”

You grab onto your sides, tears coming out of your eyes. You just can’t control yourself. This dumb kid has a sex toy stuck on him and he can’t get it off.

“Y/N!”

“I’m sorry! It’s just so…so hilarious. Wow.” You wipe the tears from your cheeks as the last bits of chuckles come spewing out.

“It’s not funny! It won’t come off…a-and it really hurts.”

You can hear the pain in his voice and for a second you actually felt bad for him. Maybe you shouldn’t have teased him that much.

But then again, he deserves it.

“Well, seems like you got a real problem on your hands. I’ll leave ya to it.” You say as you start walking out the door.

“Y/N WAIT! You have to help me!”

You turn back to face him, your brows knitting in confusion. “And why do I have to do that?”

“Please Y/N, you know I wouldn’t ask you if I didn’t mean it.”

You stare at him for a moment, taking in his facial features. You were a couple of feet away from him but from there you could see the tears threatening to fall from his big doe eyes. His bottom lip was caught between his teeth, probably to stop it from quivering in front of you. His broad shoulders visibly shook, and you sigh. He must really be in pain.

“Please, Noona.”

Your eyes widened in surprise, taken aback by his response. He hasn’t called you Noona for years. The last time he called you that was years ago, during a small phase where he was actually really sweet and nice to you. You actually loved that Jungkook back then, but then he went a full 180 on you and went back to being a brat.

You bite your lip, contemplating on what to do. He winces in pain and lets out a long drawn out whimper, which immediately shot to your core. What the fuck?

You don’t know what overcame you but you had the sudden urge to touch him.

What the hell were you thinking?

You just want to help him, that’s all.

You let out a heavy sigh, then placed the milk on the TV stand, proceeding to walk over to him. “Fine, let’s just get this over with. I don’t want your parents to blame me for not watching you and you coming home dickless.”

His eyes light up in admiration for you, excited to finally be free of this dumb torture-like pleasure free device. You stop in front of him, sitting on your knees as you push his legs apart to get a better look.

Surprisingly, Jungkook didn’t have a micro penis like you thought he had all these years. It was actually really, really generous, probably one of the biggest you’ve seen. No wonder this kid had a big ego.

“Alright, let’s see what we got.” As awkward as this was supposed to feel, it didn’t feel as weird as you thought it would. Why did it feel normal to be on your knees in front of Jungkook’s dick? You honestly didn’t want to think about why other than the fact that you’ve known him all your life and being naked in front of each other probably isn’t a big as a deal as you would imagine. You guys used to bathe naked all the time; that counts for something right?

“Wow Kook, you got it lodged pretty good. How the fuck did you get that all the way up there?” You stared at the small device, tightly clenching the base of his shaft.

“I-I thought it was supposed to hurt in the beginning, and then it would feel good later. That’s how sex is for girls, right?”

You snorted. “Does it look like you have a vagina, Jungkook? I mean maybe you will after your dick falls off-“

“Stop!” He whines, pouting at you. “Don’t say that! I would die without my dick.”

“That actually sounds like a good plan, maybe we should leave it then-“ He grabs your hands in his, squeezing them tightly as you were about to sit up again.

“Y/-Noona, please, please help me. I’ll be good to you from now on. I won’t be a brat anymore if you help me. Just…please.”

He softly caresses the back of your hand, looking at you again like a lost puppy.

Was Jungkook really being obedient right now? He seems like he would do anything for you, listened to anything you said. He seemed so…submissive.

You unintentionally licked your lips, but immediately came back to your senses. It was really getting hot in here and your hands were starting to sweat.

You ripped your hands away from him. “Okay, okay. Jeez.” You played it off like you weren’t phased by what he said and his sudden new name for you. You just needed to get this shit off of him and then you could finally eat. Starving yourself is definitely not good for your head.

You take in a deep breath, then reach for him. You didn’t want to bother addressing the elephant in the room, the surprisingly pretty big elephant in the room, because you didn’t want to make this even more awkward as it is. Asking if you could touch his dick would probably make this situation even worse, so you’re just gonna do what you need to do.

You grasp onto the base of his shaft where the toy is, tugging it forward in attempts to take it off.

“OW!” Jungkook yelps, grabbing your wrist. “You’re hurting me!”

“I barely even touched you brat, suck it up.” You whip your hand away from him, bringing it back to the toy.

He really got himself into a real mess here. There’s barely any space between the toy and his dick. Did he really think this wasn’t going to happen?

You attempt to pull at it again while your hand rested on his abdomen. You didn’t expect Jungkook’s abs to be so defined and rock solid under your fingertips, but you quickly brushed the thought away while you focused on the situation at hand.

When you pulled, the toy stayed put and your hand ended up grasping through the rest of his length to the tip, leaving you empty handed. You cupped the toy again, firmly pressing against his stomach while you pulled again, only to bring your hand against him again without the toy. You hear him whimper under your touch but again you don’t let it get to you, thinking he’s just being a little wuss about the pain again. After another attempt of tugging it off and your hand unintentionally grasping his length, you accidentally squeeze the end of his tip, feeling the warmth on your fingertips.

All of a sudden Jungkook lurches forward, putting a hand on your shoulder and squeezing tightly. His face is a few inches away from yours, his heavy pants tickling your face.

“Noona,” He chokes out.

You look up at him to see his adam’s apple bob, licking his partly chapped lips as he lets out open mouthed pants while his other hand clutches the bed sheet. You could see him breaking a sweat down his temple, looking so fucking hot for some strange reason but then something breaks your thoughts.

You feel a pulse under your touch, and you realize you’re still grasping his tip. You look down to see his dick erect, the tip partly red as you slowly feel the palm of your hand get wet. You slowly open your hand to see pre-cum leaking from his tip, some smeared along your hand.

You instantly get red, looking back up at Jungkook with the best glare you could muster up at the moment when in reality you’re freaking out and heating up inside. “What the fuck Jungkook!?”

You were about to stand up to leave when he grabs you again. “I-I’m sorry! I can’t help it!”

“You’re gross!” You try to rip your hand away, but he keeps a firm grip.

“Y/N I’m sorry! Your hand just feels really, really soft…please, just help me get it off!” He pleads. “I’ll do anything Y/N. I promise!”

You look back at your hand covered in Jungkook’s residue, groaning at the sticky substance. You hate to admit that you loved the fact he got like that because of your hands, because of you touching him. You grab the blanket off the floor and wipe your hand, not wanting to think about it. You gulp once you face him again, his cock looking bigger than before and a bit more constricted against the toy.

You press your fingertips against the toy, attempting to twist it off of him. He whimpers, eyes shut tight as you can’t help but notice his stomach clench against your touch again.

“Noona, please...” He says again in what was like a husky whisper, sounding like he’s begging for you. The high pitched whine that came after striked right at your core, causing you to bite your lip. Your stomach was doing somersaults as you tried so heavily to focus on getting this damn toy off of him, but he was making this so, so hard. No pun intended.

You tried whatever you could, pushing it upwards and to the side and downwards, but none of it seemed to be working.

“I think we need to get some oil or something and maybe it’ll slip off,” You thought. “I’ll go get some in the kitchen.”

“You won’t find any,” He said hesitantly.

“What do you mean? I thought you just bought some?”

“I…was that on the list too?” He looks at your warily, biting his bottom lips as he slowly cowers away.

Your eyes turned to slits as your brows crinkled in distress again, letting out a long, slow sigh. “Well, I can’t think of anything else.”

“Why don’t you spit on it?” Your eyes bugged out while you looked at him like crazy woman. What did he just say?

“What?” You say, looking at him incredulously.

“Well, water isn’t going to work. We don’t have anything else and that’s all I could think of.”

“Do it yourself!” You yell, red as a tomato at what he just actually asked for you to do.

“I can’t! My hands are too big! Your hands are perfect and it’s easier if someone else does it. I’ll just hurt myself. Please, just do it it’ll work!” He pouts at you again, biting his bottom lip as he shifts uncomfortably on the bed. “You’re so gentle Noona. Help me,” He begs.

You know his words weren’t supposed to sound dirty in any way, but god why do you keep thinking like that?

Your empty stomach was messing with your head. Not only was your head throbbing, but you can’t ignore the ache between your legs either. You thought of just telling him to fuck off and leave him there to figure it out himself, but he speaks up again.

“It really hurts…I’m begging you Y/N,” He whimpers, whispering your name with a groan at the end. You notice his uneven breaths as his stomach vibrates, his veins protruding along his arms as he still clenches the sheets, the other hand holding onto his hard cock. He grasps himself, letting out a high pitched whine as he grits his teeth, seeing his eyes water yet again from his action.

You gulp at the sight of him before you, so helpless and vulnerable that causes your core throb even more.

You press your thighs together to ease the tension. You don’t know why such a helpless Jungkook was turning you on uncontrollably, and you’d love to see how much more he could beg and sob under your touch if he’d allow you to.

You shake your head, pulling yourself out of your crazy thoughts. This is getting really bad and you knew you had to get away from him quick. You needed this to be over as soon as possible.

“Fuck, okay! But we’re never fucking talking about this again. This never happened,” You say as you kneel in front of him again. You bring a hand to your face, spitting into it and smearing it along your palm. You cup the base of his shaft and glide your palm around the skin near the toy, trying to lubricate it as much as you can.

“It’s not enough Y/N, just spit directly on it,” He groans. You were going to yell at him for telling you what to do, but spared him once you saw his flushed and pained expression. You silently obeyed, sitting up so your face hovered over his dick. You collected enough saliva in your mouth and spit on the skin below the toy, letting the liquid slip down and over his cock. You bring your fingertips to massage the area, spreading your fluid as much as you can over him. Once you think it’s enough, you try pulling the toy again but it still didn’t budge.

“I-I think you still need to add more,” He pants.

“You think I got gallons worth Jungkook? That I’m a human sprinkler?” You spew.

“Well how about you just use your mouth?” He said nonchalantly.

You gaped at him, about to tell him off but then he cuts you off. “It would be easier! You wouldn’t have to keep spitting and have it dry up. You can get it all over and then it would pop right off!”

Your patience was really wearing thin with this kid. But then he grabs you by shoulders, pressing his sweaty forehead against yours.

“You’re my only hope Noona. You can only help me with this. I’ll do whatever you want after I promise.”

“I swear I’ll be a good boy.”

Good boy?

Hearing that made the last strings of your sanity cut loose.

Fuck it.

You push him away by his chest abruptly, making him almost fall back on the bed. He caught himself before he could fall, hands flat against the bed. Before he could ask you what your problem was, you flatten your tongue along the base of his shaft.

“Y/N!” He moans aloud, bucking his hips up and into your face. You glide your tongue along his vein, swirling your tongue against his tip. You press an open mouthed kiss, then wrap the tip around the lips as you suck lightly.

“Oh fuck! Noona,” He rasps, trying so hard not to lose control and grab your hair to push you further into him. His moans egg you on and you tease his slit, earning another strangled moan of your name from him. Then you bring your mouth down onto his cock, taking him inch by inch.

You try your best to use your tongue, trying to wet every inch of his throbbing cock until you finally reach the base where the toy was. You hear him panting like he just ran a marathon above you, groaning as he watches your pretty lips around his thick member.

“Your mouth is so warm, it feels so good,” He groans, licking his lips before he gulps as he watches you intently. You stop your movements and look up to him, making direct eye contact. He looks at you in confusion, seeing the subtle glint in your eyes. Before he could say anything you swallow hard, causing him to thrash his head back and fist your hair.

“Fucking shit!” He moans, bucking his hips upward into you, causing the tip to hit the back of his throat. It hurt of course, but seeing the way he reacts to your ministrations was definitely worth it.

You pull your mouth off of him just until the tip, then bring him all into your mouth once again, sucking harshly.

“Holy fuck Y/N,” he moans, grasping the back of your head as you bob up and down his length.

“Keep fucking doing that.” You scratch his thighs, telling him that you’re the one in control instead of him before grazing your teeth slightly against his length. He whines in response, slightly nudging your hair back to stop you.

“Y-Y/N please…I’m sorry, just please keep going.” You release him with a pop, wiping the saliva from your chin as you look at him with a glare.

“Why are you telling me what to do? I thought you said you’d be a good boy?” You say as you slightly dig your nails into his massive thighs once again. “Or should I stop?”

“No! No please! Don’t stop I’ll be good I promise!” He whimpers at you, bringing his hand to your cheek to slowly caress your face.

“I’ll be good Noona.” You pretend to contemplate on your answer when you definitely weren’t going to leave him like this now, but you seem to think he’s had enough when you see his arm shake and his lips quiver.

“You better be.” You bring your mouth back to him, sinking your mouth down his hardened length as you take all of him again. You didn’t really think of Jungkook as the vocal type, but hearing him shamelessly moan and whimper your name aloud to the point the next door neighbors could hear heightened your ego tenfold.

You release him, bringing your hand up and down his shaft. You lift his dick so it’s against his stomach, about to run your tongue against him once again when you noticed something odd. A very thin line was visible on the cock ring, located on the bottom side of his dick. You bring your face closer to the line, looking at it curiously. Very small and slightly faint read the letters OPEN right above the line, in bold lettering.

Aha! You thought. Finally. Before you could bring your hand to the little slit, Jungkook calls out to you.

“Why did you stop? I’m being good Noona. Please, keep going.” He cries, and you swear it’s a tear that slips from his eyes and down his cheek than his sweat.

You lick your lips, looking back down at the toy then back at his cock.

He deserves this for being a brat all these years.

You look back up at him, giving him a sweet smile which felt seemingly odd to him. You never smiled like that at him. “Okay, since you’re being so good for me Kook,” You say sweetly.

“Why are you- fuck!” Jungkook groans when you take him all in one go, his tip hitting the back of your throat. You slightly gag, your mouth so full from his thick length but you push through it. You wanted to see this boy suffer.

You continue to go all out, hollowing your cheeks and deep throating him in the best ways possible, drowning in all his whines and cries of your name and how you were so fucking good.

“N-Noona, fuck, I think I’m gonna-“ You smile at his words.

Any second now.

At one particularly harsh suck he grabs your head, sinking you further down his cock as your mouth hits the toy. He moans at first but quickly cries in agony, fisting your hair harshly as you try to focus relaxing your throat.

“What…What the fuck…?” He whimpers, eyes squinting closed as he groans.

You release him with a pop, looking up at him with innocent eyes. “What’s wrong Kook?”

“I-There’s something wrong,” He says, grabbing his dick and wincing.

“Does it still hurt Jungkook? You want Noona to make you feel good?” You pull his hand away from him, grasping his length once again and pumping up and down slowly. He cries again, grabbing your wrist to stop your movements. “It fucking hurts Noona. What’s happening?” He sounded so lost, so helpless.

You never thought yourself to be a sadist but fuck, you loved it.

“Shh, Kookie,” You slowly rise to your feet, standing between his legs as you grab onto his shoulder. You bring a finger to his chin, lifting his head so he can look up to you. “Let Noona help you. I’ll make you feel real good.” With that, you pushed him harshly on the chest, causing him to fall back into the sheets. You quickly shimmy out of your shorts leaving you in your black lacy underwear, then turn back to him.

You lick your lips, staring at him sprawled on his bed looking so fucked out, completely naked. You climb up over him, bringing one leg over to straddle his waist.

“Y/N, what are you-“ You muffled him with a kiss, soft and sweet at first but slowly getting rougher to the touch as seconds go by. He moans when you bite his bottom lip, allowing you to delve your tongue into his hot cavern. His hands quickly find purchase on the soft flesh of your hips, holding you tightly. You suck on the tip of his tongue, earning you a groan.

You bring your mouth to his ear, nibbling his lobe before you whisper, “Just relax, Kook. And let Noona do all the work.”

You rise above him, your hands running along his arms as you meet his hands on your hips. You bring your hands to the hem of your shirt, quickly lifting it off of you and exposing your matching black lace bra.

“God damn,” he choked, eyes as wide as saucers as his mouth gaped at your beautiful figure. You chuckle at his response, then bring your hand down to your underwear. You rubbed yourself through the fabric, lightly moaning as you feel your juices seep through. You were definitely ready for him already. You use two fingers to hook your underwear, pushing it to the side while using your other hand to grab his dick.

He groans, watching your movements as you align yourself with his dick.

“Y/N, are you sure you- ahh!” His nails dig into your hips as you slowly sink onto him, your mouth slightly ajar as he fills you up perfectly.

His length and girth is the perfect size for you, filling you up to the brim as you settle perfectly onto his cock. You moan once your ass meets his thighs, sitting still as you adjust to the new found fullness.

Then, you move. You bring yourself off of him until just the tip is left, then sit back down with a slap. You moan at the sensation, but Jungkook is crying from your action.

“Holy f-fuck! Fuckkk,” He whimpers, chest heaving as you bring yourself up only to come down with another harsh slap. You continue these movements until you set a steady pace, bouncing on his length.

“Y/N! Oh my god, fuck, fuck Noona,” He writhes below you, looking like he’s about to lose his mind as he twists his head back and forth with his eyes tightly shut.

“You feel so fucking good, god, keep going please,” He whines, continuously licking his lips as his mouth constantly lets out a string of profanities and whimpers.

“Am I making you f-feel good, Kook? Ah, fuck,” You groan, speeding up your pace as the room fills with constant slap, slap, slaps.

“Yes yes yes, fuck yes, you’re so fucking good, I’m losing my mind,” He chokes, bringing one hand to squeeze your ass while the other tightly grasps onto your upper thigh. You continue going hard against him, him hitting you so deep and in just the right spots. Every time you drop down you feel something hitting against your flesh, then you look down.

You forgot the cock ring was still stuck on him, then realize it was the bunny ears. Memories of your friend saying how good the vibrator was rushed into your head, then you bring one of your hands to the toy. You press the switch on the toy, the low buzz sounds filling the room along with Jungkook’s whines. Once you sink down onto him again the product lands right on your clit, vibrating at an inhumane speed which causes your eyes to roll back.

“Oh my fucking god!” You scream, pausing your movements as you let the vibrator run against your bundle of nerves. You’ve never felt anything like it before.

You attempt to squeeze your thighs together, slowly rotating your hips instead as you let the vibrations of the toy work its magic against you. You moan aloud again, throwing your head back as the feeling of Jungkook’s cock so deep inside you along with the toys ministrations make your mind go hazy. All of a sudden you feel Jungkook’s hips lurch forward, pounding into you from below as he holds you by the hips to keep you still.

“Jungkook!” You scream, scratching his chest with his hands as he takes over.

“Y-You’re getting tighter on me, fuck, you feel so fucking good,” He moans, filling you to the brim each time as the toy continues to rub against your clit.

You can’t contain your voice now, moaning nonstop as Jungkook keeps ramming into you, the toy helping you reach your high quicker than you ever thought possible. After a few more strokes you come undone, moaning loudly as you tightly clench Jungkook’s dick. He lets out a deep groan, continuously thrusting into you as you ride out your high.

“Y/N, Y/N, fuck fuck fuck, I’m gonna-“ Jungkook grabs onto your ass tightly, letting out a strangled moan. You watch as his head falls back into the bed, his stomach clenching tightly as he releases a choked sob. You felt his cock throb from within you, but no release. The side of your mouth twitches upward, but when you see his eyes fill with tears once again, him crying aloud, you finally actually start feeling bad.

You lift your hips, letting his hard cock slip out of you as you roll over beside him. You take a few seconds to catch your breath. You’re about to sit up to take the cock ring off of him but all of a sudden he rolls over to hover above you, spreading your legs open and pushing your panties to the side.

“Hey, what-“ He grabs his cock and roughly shoves himself into you again, causing you to throw your head back with a moan. He has his hands on either side of your head, then brings his mouth to your ears.

“You’re so fucking tight Noona, you feel so warm.” He grabs your hips as he starts pummeling into you, making your eyes roll back.

“You’re fucking hot as hell, you moaning my name and coming all over my cock,” He grunts, “You don’t know how many times I’ve came imagining what just happened. But why can’t I fucking come now?”

“J-Jungkook, stop,” You moan, trying to get him to stop so you can take the ring off of him. But he doesn’t let up, too focused on trying to reach his release as he fucks you harder, grunting and growling as he picks up his pace. The toy continues to buzz, occasionally rolling over your nub if Jungkook angles it the right way, causing you to yell out. He spreads your legs further, tossing one of your legs over his shoulder to reach into you deeper.

“That picture of you bouncing on my dick, fucking me, using me to make you feel good, I never imagined how fucking sexy you’d actually look. And the way you moan my name, fuck I’ll come just from thinking about that next time I touch myself,” He groans, reaching behind you to rip off your bra. His mouth latches onto your nipple, sucking your breast as you grab his head to bring him closer. He laps your nub, licking up the valley of your breasts and brings his lips to yours.

You moan into his mouth, allowing him to ravage you some more. He brings both of your legs around his waist and you cross them, shoving himself into you faster. At this angle the toy is hitting directly on your clit each time he pounds into you, making you scream out his name as you clutch the bedsheets beside you.

“Jungkook!” You moan his name like a mantra, your release getting closer and closer. He continues kissing you, and after a few more deep strokes you come all over him again, squeezing him so hard he yells your name aloud, his cock throbbing uncontrollably as you clench tightly around him. His hands are holding your hips so tightly you know there’s going to be bruises in the morning, but you don’t care. You move your hips against him as you embrace the waves of pleasure, panting as you finally go limp. You’re about to slowly doze off from being so tired, wiping the sweat along your temple when you hear another choked sob. Jungkook pulls out of you, his dick still hard and swelled. The tip looks painfully red, the rest of his shaft looking constricted as he whimpers again.

“I-I fucking can’t,” He cries, his cheeks red and wet with tears of frustration as he looks at you with pleading eyes.

“Oh Kook,” You bite your lip. Maybe you really went too far.

You crawl over to him on his knees, carefully touching his length. He winces at your touch, whimpering as you lift it up. You press the button to turn off the vibrations, then use your fingernail to dig into the slit of the toy, pulling it forward as it pops open. He groans in relief as you slowly drag the toy off of him, tossing it to the side.

“And that’s what you get for being a brat all these years.” You say as you plop onto his bed, grabbing the sheets to cover yourself.

“What?” He looks at you confused, then his eyes widen.

“Wait…you fucking knew?”

You chuckle, “Of course, who doesn’t fucking know what a cock ring does? It stops you from coming, Kook.” You shuffle onto your side, getting ready to fall asleep.

“So you fucked with me this whole time?” He said in a low tone, venom laced in his voice.

“Fucked and fucked,” You said. “You’ve always fucked with me all these years. I was just making it even. Also we’re not telling anyone about this, okay?” You pointed back and forth from yourself to him, then plopped back onto the pillow.

Silence filled the room and you accepted it with open arms. You were just completely exhausted at this point, not having really expected such a good fuck from Jungkook. But hey, he made you feel good and you got your revenge, so it all works out. You were slowly slipping off into dreamland but all of a sudden the sheets are ripped off of you. Your legs were pulled downward, dragging your head off the pillow.

“What the fuck-“ Jungkook grabs your waist and flips you over onto your stomach, pushing your head down into the mattress while your ass is raised in the air. You attempt to turn around to ask him what the fuck he thinks he’s doing, but you cry as a hard slap echos in the room.

He smooths his rough palm against your right cheek where he spanked you, then brings his hand once again over the spot making you choke.

“You think this is a fucking joke? Making me lose my fucking mind, not letting me come three times?”

“Let go brat-“

Slap.

“The girl of my fucking dreams comes in here and sucks me off, fucks me twice, yet I couldn’t even fucking enjoy it cause I was in so much pain? You know how fucking horrible that is?” He grabs your underwear, tearing it in half as he lets it fall on the bedspread.

“Jungkook-ahh!” You moan once he brings his hand to your core, running his fingers along your slit.

“You call me a brat all the time, yell at me, yet I do everything for you,” He says as he lets a finger slip in, pumping into you as your wet juices fall down your thighs. “But you didn’t even let me come once.”

“Jungkook I can’t, not anymore,” You whimper, fisting the sheets as he plunges a second finger into you.

“Oh you can’t? But you came so many times Noona. Fuck, I even called you Noona cause I knew you secretly loved that,” He grunts. “I hate saying that. But I did it for you, to make you feel good Y/N.”

“Please,” You beg, trying to move away from his touch. But he doesn’t let up, continuing to touch you.

“I think you can go again. You never do anything for me, so you can do this. I haven’t even come yet,” He drags his fingers out of you, then leans forward so his dick sat against your cheeks and his chest leaned against your back. He brings his fingers to your lips, prodding them at your entrance. “Suck.”

You complied, opening your mouth as you lapped up your juices on him. You hear him groan behind you, slowly rubbing his length against your ass.

“God, you’re so fucking hot.” He leans back, pumping himself a few times before he aligns his tip at your entrance. You were going to attempt to stop him again but he pounds right into you, causing your face to fall flat onto the sheets.

He immediately starts off rough and fast, holding you by the hips as he drags you to him, fucking you onto him. You mewl, so sensitive from the last two rounds that you didn’t have the strength to do anything.

“Fuck, you’re still so fucking tight,” He groans, “God, I imagined fucking you so many times before, but I never thought it’d feel this good.”

“Jungkook…” You moan, slowly feeling the coiling in your stomach return.

“All these years Y/N, having to deal with seeing you in those short shorts, those low tops, fuck, you were such a fucking tease,” His thighs slap harder against your ass.

“Did I ever tell you I walked in on you changing once? I fucking ran to my room and jacked off that entire night to that image.” You moaned in response, thinking about the thought of Jungkook touching himself, pumping his shaft hard and fast as he thought of you, moaning your name as he came. And he was only a couple of feet away from you in the other room.

“But I never did anything about it, because you always treated me as the little brat next door,” He growled, flipping you over so you were on your back, then pushing himself right back in.

“Tell me Y/N, do you still think of me as a kid?” He grabbed one of your breasts, kneading it as he sucked on the other. “Would some brat make you feel this fucking good?”

You moaned in response, grabbing his hair as you tried to pull him closer to you. He sucked harder, pinching your nub between his fingers as he continued thrusting you at a harsh pace. He let you go, rising up to adjust you again, hooking his arms around your thighs as he fucked you into his mattress.

“Fuck, Jungkook! Oh my fucking god,” You moan aloud, slightly arching your back as he drilled into you, making your body slowly inch upward and closer to the bedframe. The hinges squeaked uncontrollably, the bed frame hitting against the wall each time he thrusted into you.

The angle was causing you to see stars, his length hitting you in your deepest and most pleasurable spot.

“Fuck, I think I’m gonna-“

He immediately stops his movements, causing you to groan at the loss of your blissful release.

“Why the fuck did you stop!?” You yell, tears of frustration clouding your vision.

He smirks at you in return, leaning forward until his face is a mere inches from yours.

“I don’t think you deserve it. Why should I let you come again?” You try to move in response, but he still has his arms around your legs, keeping you in place.

“Please,” You beg, wanting nothing more than to just drown in euphoric feeling of letting go against him.

“How are you gonna make me?”

“I’ll do anything! I won’t call you brat anymore! Just please, let me come,” You whimper, bringing your hands to cup his face.

“Hmm…” He contemplates for a little while, then you whine another please before he chuckles.

“You’ll do anything?”

“Anything.”

“Will you be my girlfriend after this?”

Your eyes widen and your jaw drops, not expecting that request at all. You thought he’d want you to suck his dick again, which you wouldn’t mind. But girlfriend?

He grabs your hand into his, then slowly caresses his face into your touch. He turns his face to kiss the inside of your palm, then each of your fingertips.

“I’ve loved you since I was 7. You’re the only girl for me, and we’re practically going to be together for the rest of our lives cause of our parents. My parents don’t want me to be with anyone else either, so we already have their blessing.” He smiles at your speechless face, then brings himself forward to give you a kiss on the nose.

Butterflies fill your stomach, and you feel like you can’t breathe for a moment. This brat has been with you for so long you never realized you actually loved him too, and you wouldn’t know what you would do without him.

“So do I take that as a yes?” He says, peppering sweet kissing along your jawline.

You bite your lips, but slowly your mouth curves into a smile. “You’re such a greaseball.”

He chuckles, bringing his lips to yours. You wrap your arms around his neck, melting into his kiss.

“Okay not to ruin the moment but I’m kind of fucking dying here and I feel like my dick is going to fall off,” He groans, feeling him still hard within you.

You giggle, giving him one last kiss on the lips before moving away from him. “Where do you want to come?”

“Fuck,” He grunts, licking his lips as he contemplates.

“I want to come inside you.” You nod at his response, “That’s fine, I’m on the pill. And how do you want me?”

“On top.” You nod again, smiling at him as you lift yourself up, changing positions with him. He falls back on the sheets and groans while he watches you straddle him, lining his cock with your soaking entrance. Once again you sink onto him, allowing him to fill you up to the brim. Both of you sigh in content, him kneading your breasts and you holding onto his chest.

You quickly start bouncing on him, wanting him to have his relief as quickly as possible. He groans as your ass slaps against his thighs harshly every time you come down, eyes closed shut as his mouth hangs open. You clench against him, trying to milk him out for his release, and he moans your name louder. You feeling the throbbing occur and you know he’s close. You were so focused on trying to get him off that you didn’t realize Jungkook reached for the toy again, turning the power on as the slight buzzing filled the room. Your eyes pop open and you cry aloud once he presses the vibrator part of the cock ring against your clit, making you writhe above him.

“Oh fuck! Fuck, Jungkook, fuck,” You mewl, moving faster against him as he keeps the toy against your bundle of nerves.

“Come on Y/N, come for me babe. Come all over my cock,” He grunts, and after a few more seconds of the toy against you you let go, lurching forward as you throw your head against Jungkook’s chest, crying his name aloud. He grabs onto your hips and plants his feet flat on the bed, fucking you through your high, and after another half dozen strokes he chokes your name out, coming inside of you in long, hot spurts. Jungkook’s warmth felt nice inside you, and you continued moving as best you could until he finished, groaning as he slowly went limp inside of you.

Both of you were panting and you could feel his rapid heartbeat slow against your cheek. He brings a hand to brush through your hair, bringing a blanket to cover the both of you before wrapping an arm around your waist.

“I love you Y/N,” He said, kissing your temple.

“And I love sex toys now even though it hurt like a bitch, but at least it brought us together.” You slap his chest, causing him to let out a chuckle. “We should give it a 5 star review. The toy sucked ass for me but it also brought me this beautiful ass,” He said as he squeezed one of your cheeks. “Pretty great if you ask me.”

“You’re still dumb and a brat,” You said as you rested your chin on his firm chest, staring up at him. You leaned forward to kiss his bottom lip, right where his mole was that you always secretly adored.

“But honestly, I love you too.”

#jungkook #bts #fanfic #comedy #smut #notsohonest #wonhopes

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cherry-interlude · 3 years

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Lana Del Rey Unreleased Ranked (2)

This is a re-ranking of Lana's unreleased songs, after making a first a few years ago. This is all my opinion, which I don't mind anyone disagreeing with but don't come for me for it - honestly, I like every song, despite any criticism, and this ranking is very vague. It's based on objective and subjective opinion.

This is the second of five posts, going past my least favourites.

Money Hunny

Lana details the downside of money, detailing the ways it ruins lives and causes more problems that good for some. However, it’s simplicity isn’t what makes Money Hunny fall short – it doesn’t resonate at all compared to Lana’s countless songs where she is either rich and famous or she is desperate for money (or men with money). As thought-provoking as Money Hunny is, it feels too twee and out of place in her money-adoring music to really hit hard. If Lana has spoken on the topic of how money can literally damage lives more, it would perhaps gel better with me, but with songs like Money Power Glory, National Anthem and Off To The Races (among many, many others), it doesn’t hit the mark as a Lana Del Rey (alternate names included) song.

Strangelove

Strangelove is hypnotising, from Lana’s mesmerising voice that gives her the impression of a Las Vegas desert temptress, seducing strangers and wishing for the simple pleasures of Christmas lights and mint juleps. It hits best for the first opening chorus.

Stoplight Delite

Opening with a tuneful mechanical whir, Lana’s song wouldn’t be amiss in a teen romance film. I’m not convinced by the mishmash of music – the more classical band instruments with unrelenting whirring begins to overwhelm the song. Lana’s at her sweetest in this however.

Daddy Issues

The music is a bit too harsh but it’s a nice enough song, referencing Baby Blue Love among others. It isn’t Lana’s best by far, messy with lyrics that go all over the place, but (yet again), it would be more promising if it was completely remade and produced properly. The demo, I Was In A Bad Way, is a lot more maudlin and less enthusiastic, so it does fall behind Daddy Issues.

Catch and Release

It’s another song that’s kind of creepy, with an eerie vibe thanks to the relentless, whining music and Lana’s razor-edged warnings in her lyrics. Lana is practically a megalomaniac in this song, completely selfish and unafraid to ask for – and get – what she wants. Yet it’s quite a hypnotising track that, with further production, could be more cohesive and dramatic.

Marilyn

One of her old live performances, Marilyn is too simple in its lyrics but is a strangely erotic tribute to Lana’s icon. Lana owns the stage in this performance, a more carnal honouring than some of her other outputs.

Noir

Lana really goes for it in this furious song of crushed self-esteem and badly treated lover. Lana lets her vocals rip and tear as she growls about her “papi”, her being merely his dolly to do as he pleases. It's not her most perfect song but she doesn’t hold back from letting her hurt and frustration spill over.

Bellevue

Lana utilises haunting harmonising in Bellevue and though she seems hung up on her lover not wanting her around (she repeats it, as if she can’t let go, throughout the song) she still convinces herself she could go back to the old days of drinking and not being hurt. It helps – her chanting – to bring out the emotion of the lyrics, and maintain that broken feeling she is so good at conveying whilst saying how happy she is.

Put Your Lips Together

Taking on the character of a femme fatale who can hold her own, Lana seduces the listener on top of a chilled instrumental. Her lyrics are little bit dirtier as much as her vocals aren’t their best in the choruses (of course, it being a rough demo might have something to do with that). It’s definitely a song that, if completed, could rank alongside Beautiful Player and Ooh Baby in her seduction library.

Starry Eyed

Starry Eyed is a romantic enough song, with a gentle plinking intro that leads to a rumbling, Born To Die-esque track – complete with Lana’s pretty vocals. However, it does tend to drag, a slow song that I find majorly skippable. The dragged-out choruses get tiring after a while of listening so I don’t frequently listen to this song.

Breaking My Heart

Lana is fully materialistic in this song, referencing multiple designer companies as well as her desire to be loved and party. It’s not too imaginative in its lyrics, instead pure pop with a mixture of lyrics that never quite come through with a particular meaning, but it’s a good enough bop.

Butterflies Part 1

A little love song about a tumultuous teen romance, Lana plays off the lovestruck teen ultimately in love with a guy not good for her perfectly. It’s heady and full of the rushes of love, emotive enough to get the feeling of a girl going mad from her relationship.

Ben

Lana, using the rain to her advantages, moodily comforts her executive love in the full femme fatale façade, quietly passionate. Lana, as much as she loves him, is still her own woman, insisting she will smoke if she wants and playing with her voice to showcase such control.

All Smiles

Lana puts on a happy smile as she mopes over Jimmy in this small-town, fifties-painted tale of a girl who wants a man she can’t have. She mostly hits the mark in this acoustic track and has the right foundations for a decent country ballad.

My Best Days

My Best Days is a short song of cleverly utilised trap beats, autotune and slowly layering instrumental in which Lana isn’t happy without her lover. The organ outro is gorgeous, and it’s a track that can perk you up or calm you down.

Get Drunk

Restless pace, whispered mocking and an overall darkly seductive tone – it’s unembellished and, in some ways, could play as Lana dealing with her past alcoholism (demanding whomever the song is directed to should get drunk). It’s a vibe Lana should explore more over a decade since Get Drunk and the like were made.

Let My Hair Down

A simple and spooky track, Lana has an acoustic jam session consisting of unsettled guitar, bongos and her voice. It’s rather repetitive but it’s something different that works well. It shows Lana doesn’t need too many fusses and frills on her tracks to make something captivating, much like her Sirens album.

Every Man Gets His Wish

The intro of upbeat whistling climbs into a lowkey track that goes from sensual stuttering and a sad chorus that still sounds like Lana has a smile on her face. The mood shifts along with the tune but it is altogether cohesive.

Dance For Money

As stripped as the pole dancer Lana plays, Lana gently teases and cajoles in her ode to older men, lemonade and motorcycles with little else.

Back To Tha Basics

Much like the title, this track is a little bit basic but it’s still zesty with a wonderful instrumental and some pop-inspired vocals.

Butterflies Part 2

Production isn’t perfect on this track but Lana has such promise in this song in which she compares to lured in girls to butterflies pinned to a wall, all at once melancholy, knowing and cheeky. It’s unfortunate that the lyrics are so hidden beneath the dominating instrumental, but with tweaking this stormer could be even better.

Children of the Bad Revolution

The kind of song that would be found on one of her albums, Children of the Bad Revolution is a pacy dedication to Lana’s life as a delinquent a la the 1950s starlets. It’s good but it’s not anything too impressive, instead a chilled track that is simply about being free.

Beautiful Player

Lana mopes in the track about a somewhat disliked girl (perhaps they’re all jealous of her) who is in love with one of her players, giving the feel of a villain club performer smiling with red lipstick on and black mascara staining her cheeks.

Lift Your Eyes

Lana takes control in this song, instructing her lover to lift his eyes, rise above his demons and join her in self-respect. It’s a fine alternative to her gushing and moping characters, and with machine-like music running under the song, Lana sounds stronger than ever.

Valley of the Dolls

In this compact track Lana is once again frustrated by her lover. It’s pained but pretty with her vocals once again taking the forefront.

C U L8r Alligator

Just an acapella demo, C U L8r Alligator is simply Lana’s voice with her beating a rhythm in time. However, I really do like this song. I think it would sound even better polished and complete, but for a rough demo it’s promising. The Kristijan Majic remix is the version I most listen to, which makes it sound even more eerie (and if anyone remembers the D1ETPUSSY video that went with it, you’ll get why this song doubly haunts me). It’s not Lana’s finest but it’s a song I would have loved to see developed.

In The Sun

In The Sun is so hot it burns, more heatwave than refreshing sunshine, as she scorns her ex-lover. It’s not the finest instrumental but Lana sticks her fingers up with incredulous shock that someone could betray her so. She keeps the vibe great paired with blue skies and swimming pools with the upbeat music.

Hot Hot Hot

Big Bad Wolf, a slightly different demo track, is what I favour – stripped back, sexily uneasy, the lyrics letting the vivid imagery of red skirts, red cars and devilish men shine. Yet Hot Hot Hot is a decent, if not cheesier, song too, the chanting great for singing along.

Trees

Lana and The Rich Whores strike out with this kickass band-driven track that showcases Lana’s feistier vocals strongly. The lyrics are sparse but the overall feel of Lana going nineties-rock-chick keeps me wanting more of her in this style.

Push Me Down

Rather than being like the controversial Ultraviolence, Lana keeps the ‘violence’ fun in this pacy song, demanding her bad boy treats her badly in the best way possible. With a mildly rock edge, it’s still distinctively party-Lana, reminding of a pop-ier True Love On The Side.

She’s Not Me

It isn’t particularly imaginative pop but Lana lets the guitars do the talking as she whispers her warnings to her ex-lover. Lana owns this track, and though it feels a bit amateur in comparison to her discography and some of her stronger unreleased music, it shows she would have been great even if she went for the noughties chart pop scene. Fun and punchy, it’s a song to play on repeat.

I Don’t Wanna Go

The tentative and tight intro gives me the vibe that Lana wants to avoid going home rather than simply wanting to hang out with her lover, and her pain-tinted vocals in the chorus only add to the theory. She compliments her fascinating guy throughout the verses, a little more restrained but ultimately tense in delivery, before confessing how much she wants to stay out.

St Tropez

This is a great track for dancing and a celebration of being a party girl with plenty of attention. Best played when you want to imagine yourself as the main character.

Summer of Sam

Lana has yet another song of being a cutesy bad girl, comparable to the likes of Dangerous Girl and Playground, but it’s still fairly generic, standard pop fare. Summer of Sam is still quite fun however, drenched in pop and even with a hint of rap-talking keeping the song lively.

I Talk To Jesus

Lana returns to her religious roots in a less blasphemous way (Body Electric, for example) and instead sings a sad ditty about wishing she could have her old life. Solemnly it remembers her past (as seen in her older music) where she had the trailer parks, Christmas lights and her equally holy boyfriend.

Axl Rose Husband

The imagery is rich and gorgeous, not to mention the reference to one of Lana’s idols, but Axl Rose Husband doesn’t always do it for me – despite her strained, desperate vocals that perfectly exemplify her emotion.

Ooh Baby

Sampling Sexual Healing, Lana ramps up the sex appeal as she lets the listener know how much they want her, all while keeping it a little but more upbeat than the original song.

Other Woman

Lana’s tired of being the other woman in this track, and I like the way the lyrics flesh out the story a bit more rather. However, the chorus does get a bit tiresome sometimes.

Girl That Got Away

Lana shows you exactly what you’re missing as she mopes for her ex-lover with a smile on her face, taking the reins and knowing she has something he misses in a bubble-gum pop song about being the it girl you’ll regret letting go of.

#lana del rey #lana del rey songs #lana del rey unreleased #cherry-interlude

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kuronekonerochan · 3 years

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Random rant about Court Lady (ps: if you like the drama just don’t read it pls, or if you do, don’t @ me)

Disclaimer: I personally hate this drama and I almost never post about dramas negatively, just for the ones I like and ignore the ones I dislike. This one annoys me and I am aware that my criticism is probably only partially objectively valid and also partially nitpicks that irked me but are not “wrong” per se.

Also,just bc I don’t like it, if others like it, I have nothing to say about it except that liking it is as valid as my opinion and If you’re enjoying it, I’m glad and in no way judging bc in the end it’s just fiction and to each its own :)

I started watching this and dropped it at about ep8 bc I didn’t really enjoy it, despite the fact that I did find the production and technical aspects of the drama good and a bit different from the usual (including costume choices, etc). I even liked some of the characters like the Lu Daughter, the Pirate and the Princess (the one who hooks up with the ml’s brother). Mostly I liked Xu Kai, even as a bratty dude. Still, not enough stuff to keep my interest. After that I saw a random ep and realized the leads barely show up (and not even together) and that the screentime was dedicated to way too many secondary characters, none of them the least interesting or likable.

But then I got bored and watched the latest eps of court lady,and tho pirate, princess and enemy daughter all show up, it's still boring and although it has tons of characters, 99% of them are entitled psychopaths, and not even interesting psycho types at that, or masterminds that are enjoyable to watch. Nope they are all just annoying bullies and horrible ppl, men and women alike and what enjoyment can I get from this drama where the leads are almost never on scene together, there is a million subplots and characters yet almost no characters are likable and worth rooting for?

(Also, on nitpicking stuff, even tho they are probably historically accurate, I ended up really disliking those stupid male hats and that terrible female wig style updo that looks terrible on almost every actress, while also making most of them impossible to tell apart. Besides, I changed my mind about the costume design...it ended up being a mess (not bc I don't like it personally) but bc you have scholars, penniless retired pirates, nobleman and royalty all wearing the exact same type of clothes with no difference in fabric, or embellishments or accessories to tell apart their hierarchic rank. Truly, one of the royals was addressed as your majesty and I'm like "dude, your clothes seem cheaper than the extras and servants around you".)

I ended up watching one of the latest ep where the leads finally have decent screentime...and omg it's not only the 1000 side characters who are unlikable, the leads are awful too...why would anyone do a drama with just terrible people? I kind of wish them all the equivalent of period White truck of Doom ending (maybe a collective corpse bridge like 2ha or TGCF?).

And for final exit rant on the latest eps:

Idk what I was thinking checking this drama out again...seriously all the chars in this are either plain bullies, or that plus rapists (both genders, really...dudes all try to force themselves on the women and all the women take advantage of the men being drunk/poisoned, etc to sleep with them without them being able to give conscientious consent)...this might be the worse char ensemble drama I've ever seen. not a single relatable/likable char on sight, and they give us a million of them too.

This is truly bizarre... this type of behavior dramas usually give to their villains, so you know, of those actions they're showing are morally bad. In this one all the characters are bad doing shitty things but the drama itself is so blase about it it kind of treats all of this stuff as normal and okay?!

It's not as if I'm usually an sjw on fiction...I enjoy my bastard characters, but the whole vibe of this drama is...off, like completely disconnected from regular human behavior, as if they all got their moral compass set to fucking awful, so fucking awful became the new normal. It's very weird bc it's almost as they don't care if there isn't anyone worth rooting for.

And it's not just the actions of the characters...on some (much better) dramas/novels, the "heroes" are also just as morally grey as the villains and the only reason we root for them is because we're on their side (e.g. Joy of Life, Qi Ye, WoH, The Advisers’ Alliance, Ever Night S1), but usually on those dramas the characters have their own personal reasons for "ends justify the means" and from their perspective, whether doing bad or good stuff they don't think of themselves as villains, and likewise the “true” villains in those dramas also have their own narrative and reasoning which makes them somewhat relatable even if we disagree or hate them. In this ppl act shitty, fully aware that they are shitty and without remorse, for very weak reasons and honestly most of those actions are more bc they can than to serve a purpose. They are all amoral idiots. I'm weirdly fascinated by this drama's mindset.

Basically they are all that dude friend from To Rule in a Turbulent World on the first chapter beating Sanado to death just bc, but instead of giving him a context and character depth showing different sides to him (and I ended up really liking that character), the ppl in this drama just have their characters doing that shit again and again and never try to give any sort of dimension to them.

I am the Ryan Reynolds "but...why?" meme watching this.

PS: I am very aware of how repetitive and unfocused and messy this rant is, but this is a compilation of my watching experience at various stages blended into this one post and honestly this drama does not deserve me wasting my time to make this text any more cohesive, so rambly barely comprehensive mess it is.

#court lady #cdrama #cnovel #to rule in a turbulent world #qi ye #the advisers' alliance #joy of life #word of honor #word of honour #ever night #it's been a while since I made a ranty rant #cdrama rant #cdrama rambles #it just annoys me when I see a drama with a great production value wasted on a bad story plot and script #especially when the acting isn't bad either...the direction is super weird and the editing is sort of awkward but I don't dislike the actors #also this is based on a novel so i'm probably offending both novel and drama fans with this #the thing is sometimes a novel can get away with elements like this bc of how it's written and gives context and reasoning through #inner monologues to the actions of its characters #i never read the novel this is based on so it might just be a case of it translating poorly to live action #but that's on the show's adaptation and script to fix #for example I liked both the novel and the drama for Faraway Wanderers #but it did have some elements that could have translated badly to the live action #and I think the changes they did to the script while some being required bc censorship #others were helpful towards making the story better and with a bigger emotional impact for a live action format

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leapingtitan · 3 years

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The Final Season - Episode 1 Thoughts

I've watched the first episode around 3 times on my own and over a dozen times from anime-only live reactions on YouTube. Those are always something to have a field day with every season, and are part of the whole enjoyment post-watching the episode on your own.

Obviously I'm only reviewing this based on the first episode, so it's way too early to judge The Final Season as a whole. However, I will say that my strategy to keep my expectations low definitely worked. I was very hyped, don't get me wrong, but after Season 3 Part 2, I realized that production and scheduling has never been this show's strong suite and things behind the scenes were always chaotic. And it was my mistake to realize it this late and have unrealistically high expectations of the manga's adaptation.

But enough about that. I'm just gonna say it right now. I absolutely loved this episode and was completely blown away by it. It was a rollercoaster ride from start to finish and boy, the staff wasn't kidding when they said the first episode was like a movie. It definitely felt like that, and it went by in a flash. Now, on to the individual points.

Story/Adaptation

Flawless. Everything was executed perfectly and went beyond my expectations. The thing that stood out to me the most was how many things were changed from the PV in terms of scene construction, camera angles, and overall storyboards. There was only one shot that we reused from the PV, namely the one with Zeke and Reiner inside the airship where they're referred to as the spear and shield. Everything else was redone, which was a huge surprise. Wit was always very faithful to the original manga panels with how they used them as a big reference for most of their cuts, but this one changes them up a lot. Personally, I am 100% fine with it and as someone who has read these chapters in the manga dozens of times over the past few years, seeing them like this was a pleasant and very welcome surprise.

The anime-only additions here are notable and also quite welcome. Falco's line in the beginning in particular stood out the most in the long-run, but the addition of the Eldians' terror being shown as well as the scene before the ED was very welcome. I would like to assume that this was Isayama's doing as whenever the anime usually adds/changes up things, it's his request to do so. He sort of considers the anime to be the "definitive" version of the story that he, for one reason or another, couldn't do in the manga himself when that particular chapter came out. Season 3 Part 1 (The Uprising Arc) is a prime example for this. Once again, I'm very content with what was done here and I trust MAPPA will do the story justice.

A small but very neat thing is the fact that we got to keep the title cards and the info eyecatches mid-episode. Really added to the whole sense of consistency.

Animation

When the initial trailer came out, many people were concerned about Shigeki Asakawa (Director of Photography)'s odd and excessive usage of blur filters on top of the scenes and were wondering if they would remain in the final product, given her track record with other shows like The God of Highschool. Luckily, that is not the case here as the scenes look very clean and the minimal blur on top adds a bit to the muddy/gritty atmosphere of what's going on. Personally, I don't mind it at all and I barely notice it anyway. MAPPA's biggest strength to me is the usage of effects like blood and explosions. You feel the impact of everything and with such an action-packed episode, it made everything so much better.

The usage of 3D CGI for the Titan Shifters has been the biggest controversy surrounding this first episode. When I first watched it, it didn't bother me at all. Personally I care more about a model fitting in the action sequence rather than how it looks for the most part. Right now I would say I'm neutral. It's not the greatest CG ever conceived in anime but it definitely does not look out of place and is pretty decent. For the Jaw Titan, I couldn't tell what was CG and what wasn't for the most part. For the other Titans it's more obvious, but it's not too jarring. Obviously, if it was up to me and the production committee/NHK didn't push their scheduling shenanigans onto MAPPA, I would have gotten every Titan in 2D, but you can't have everything. If they choose to focus on more important scenes later on and cut corners in this first episode as a result, that's understandable. I can live with it. And again, even then, it's not that bad in my eyes.

Now, the character designs are just absolutely stellar. In multiple interviews, it’s been stated that they wanted to stay true to Kyoji Asano’s designs at Wit while also being consistent with Isayama’s style in the manga. And boy did they absolutely nail it. It’s exactly what as they said. Tomohiro Kishi could not have done a better job with the characters we’ve seen so far and I am beyond impressed with his work. I look forward to seeing the rest of the characters in this arc.

Sound

I've been following Kohta Yamamoto's works for a few years now, ever since he started working with Sawano (and being mentored by him to an extent) in early 2017. Although he's been involved with AoT before, particularly with the character songs in Season 2, whenever those two would collaborate on a project it would usually be because Sawano is too busy to compose a full soundtrack. So what usually happens is, Sawano does one track and variations of it (think ShingekiNoKyojin, ThanksAT and T-KT), and nothing else. Meanwhile, Yamamoto handles the rest of the music for the show. On top of that, Yamamoto's style as a composer is different from Sawano's as he comes from a rock/guitarist background as opposed to Sawano, who is a pianist and is classically trained. My biggest concern for The Final Season was that we would get a similar case as with the other shows where Sawano doesn't put in too much effort, while Yamamoto essentially becomes the main composer. Although it looks like this is in fact the case after this first episode, let me explain why I don't think it's a bad thing.

After the premiere of the first episode, both Sawano and Yamamoto tweeted that it was in fact Yamamoto who is handling the majority of the Marley Arc's music. And after this first episode, I have to say I'm impressed. His initial track that he made for the PV was a bit off-putting to me because it sounded like every epic blockbuster Hollywood trailer background track ever, but after the way it was used in this episode alongside a few other tracks, I have to say I'm pleasantly surprised. It fits what's going on, and overall delivers a fresh sound to the show that is very appropriate given the massive change in narrative. Back during S3 Part 1, Sawano stated in an interview that he was already burned out and had trouble coming up with new music for AoT given how many tracks he had already composed for it. Given how few new melodies were in S3 Part 2;s music, I think this should be clear. Especially now that we're going into yet another season. To summarize, I think Yamamoto's work here is a result of three conditions that just happened to line up perfectly. The change in narrative, which the new composer style reflects. Sawano being busy. And Sawano being burned out with AoT. Now personally I still believe we're going to get at least one new original Sawano track with variations of it for the big climax moments this arc, and he may compose more music for the 2nd half of this 16-episode season, since that's technically a new arc. But we'll see. As a whole though, I'm satisfied with what I've heard from Kohta Yamamoto in this first episode.

The last point to make in regards to the sound is Masafumi Mima who, apart from Sawano, the voice cast, and some freelancers, is the only one from the previous seasons' staff members to return here. And once again, his work here is absolutely phenomenal. The mixing and usage of sound effects in this episode was stellar and truly felt like I was watching a war movie. It enhanced the action tenfold and I could not want it any better. Music usage is something that goes through the director (Yuichiro Hayashi), but ultimately the sound director is the one who implements the track (instrument layering/stem editing) and does the mixing. The usage of Kohta Yamamoto's music here was very well done, and although the track from the PV repeated quite a bit, it didn't get repetitive at all. Also, the sound director remaining consistent here means we got to keep things like the titan transformation sound effects, which may be a small thing but was very welcome and added to the whole consistency.

Opening/Ending

I'm gonna wait until Shinsei Kamattechan releases the full version of the opening in a single or album to fully judge the song, but boy do I love this opening. Although I'm not sure if the TV-size version is my favorite AoT opening yet, I have to say that it's without a doubt the most fitting OP this show has had until this point. It perfectly showcases the themes of war that this arc focuses on and has this lowkey disturbing eerie vibe with the dissonant chords and mixing of the vocals that feels just as "mysterious" and "tense" as the show itself. I love it so much, honestly. Now, Isayama was a fan of Shinsei Kamattechan prior to them doing the S2 ED, and was the one who got them on-board to do it. Although that song isn't really my thing it's also a perfect fit, which leads me to believe that Isayama himself most likely chose the band again, namely to do this OP. And it's fantastic. I love the song. The visuals also have a very distinct style with all the colors and white backgrounds and I love how it's more metaphorical and symbolic (I guess "abstract" as well?) rather than flat-out just spoiling everything like the last arc's OP did.

The ED by Yuko Ando is fantastic. The first time I listened to the full song on its own I couldn't stop getting chills. Love the production aspects of the song and it's just really nice altogether. The visuals are quite interesting especially towards the end and I also like them a lot. Not much else to say about the ED. It's amazing. Go listen to it.

Conclusion

As a whole, I kept my expectations extremely low prior to the premiere despite my hype. As a result of that, not only were they exceeded, I was absolutely blown away by this first episode in pretty much every way. It may still be too early to judge, but from what has been shown here so far, I am absolutely looking forward to see MAPPA adapt the rest of this amazing story, or about as far as they can get with 16 episodes.

#well this just became a whole essay lmao i'm sorry about that #anyway i hope y'all have been doing well #i don't plan to use tumblr actively again but it's nice to have a place to post huge rants like this #but yeah smh at discord lmao #snk #shingeki no kyojin #snk the final season #snk season 4

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keelywolfe · 4 years

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FIC: The Rose and the Thorn: Chapter 12 (Mafia AU)

Summary: Blue and Rus finally get a chance to talk.

Tags: Spicyhoney, Cherryberry, Mafia AU, Flower Shop AU, Violence, First Meetings

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Read on AO3

Read it here!

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His confidence in his brother’s love didn’t exactly take a hit on the way downstairs to dinner, but it did give a wobbly sort of jiggle when Blue didn’t say a word to him. Not on the way down, but maybe that was because Edge was right there, Rus told himself. The silence lingered as they stopped off at small washroom to clean up, but that was even worse as a place to chat, adding in the echo of the water running from the fancy taps running into the basin to fill the room along with their Edge-shaped chaperone.

Blue didn’t say a thing aside from faint noises of acknowledgement as Edge made politely chitchat and led them back to the dining room, Rus trailing behind them.

Honestly, Rus hadn’t really thought a meal could be more awkward than breakfast that morning and he was rather unhappy about being proven wrong. Sure, Edge was unfailingly polite, even pulling Rus’s chair out for him like they were on a date in a fancy restaurant. And the food looked delicious when the Dogs brought it out in courses, a creamy tomato soup and salad before a delicate pasta dish, and a sweet orange and honey sorbet for dessert that should’ve had Rus licking the dish clean.

But it could have been a bowl of fried sawdust for all Rus tasted it. For the first time ever, he found himself missing his brother’s somewhat dubious meals. Maybe his recipe for spam fried rice wasn’t gonna land on any Michelin star restaurant menu, and it didn’t taste like the sweet frozen dreams of the sorbet, but the heaps of love that flavored it helped, a lot, more than Rus ever realized.

Guilt was a lot less tasty, Rus found, sitting penny-sharp on the back of his tongue and refusing to be swallowed away. His brother was mostly quiet, picking at his own plate and hardly taking a bite. Even odder, so was Red. Quiet, anyway, he cleared his plate without hesitation, but didn’t say much, and he kept giving Blue little sideways looks. If Rus didn’t know better, he’d almost say the mean old gargoyle was concerned, if there was room in the shriveled, leathery pouch that passed for his soul.

Edge said little, too, his eye lights flicking only briefly to their brothers, and that didn’t exact make Rus eager to drum up any conversation about the newest season of ‘The Umbrella Academy’ on Netflix. In the end, the silence was mostly broken only by the soft clatter of silverware against china, and the Dogs as they cleared it all away.

Rus idly stirred the bright stripe of honeyed syrup into his sorbet, forced himself to take another creamy mouthful. He wondered if the leftovers would find their way downstairs again, if that was the norm or if it were only for special occasions, like a pair of unexpected ‘guests’. Maybe Mona and her co-workers would get a chance to try a little of that pasta, standing around together laughing as they enjoyed some decent food before they went out on the stage. He hoped so, hoped that after a day of their sort of work, they had a treat at the end of the day. Meanwhile, all he had to show for his efforts today was a little healing and a lot of gardening. It was something, he supposed.

For all his past fantasies of interesting places out further in the world, out in some wonderous, mythical place where Humans didn’t look at him like they’d rather he was dust to brush off their shoes, Rus found he was missing the shop. If he’d thought his days were a little repetitive, now he recalled the simplicity of it wistfully; days of designing floral arrangements in complimentary colors, chatting with the customers who wandered in, and making up little backstories for them in his head, idle little daydreams to pass the time. All that silliness and he couldn’t have guessed how far off he was on Edge’s story, winced inwardly to even think of his past assumptions, funeral director, really? Of course, if Red ever set foot in his store, instead of any mental storytelling, he probably would have been discreetly reaching for the can of hornet spray his brother kept under the registers. You know, just in case.

Almost the moment Rus finally set his dessert spoon into his little empty dish, Blue was on his feet, politely wiping his mouth on his napkin, “Well, thank you ever so much for dinner, but I think my brother and I are going to have an early night.”

“yeah, sure, gotta get your rest, baby blue,” Red said easily. He slouched back in his chair, his bony fingers laced together over his broad middle. “gonna have a busy day tomorrow.”

“what…?” Rus started, confused. The rooftop garden wasn’t in that poor condition, was it? He wouldn’t have believed Blue’s expression could get any tighter until it did and Red didn’t wait for Rus to come up with a better question, only eased down from his chair, the wood creaking as it was relieved of his weight, and slouched out a side door that led who knows where in this maze of rooms.

The moment that door closed, Blue turned on his heel and headed for the other one, saying shortly, “Brother, let’s go.”

He went out without waiting, the door swinging shut behind him, and Rus sighed inwardly as he headed after him. Only to squeak in surprise as he was suddenly spun around, Edge pushing him gently back against the closed door, not quite pinning him there with firm hands at his shoulders. His crimson eye lights were a steady glow, not a flame so much as a softly burning coal, and his deep voice sent a shiver down Rus’s spine as he said, teasingly, “Aren’t you going to say good night?”

“good night?” Rus parroted, dumbly, and honestly, at some point he was going to managed to keep his wits about him with Edge so close. Today was not that day and could only stare up with wide sockets as the corner of Edge’s mouth rose in a faint smile. He was so close, close enough to see the slight crow’s-wing shadow on his cheek bone from his injury earlier, imperfectly healed.

He leaned down and Rus’s soul pounded so loudly he could hear it throbbing inside his skull, wondered wildly if Edge could hear it, too. But instead of kissing him, Edge only murmured right next to his auditory canal, “Sleep well, pretty flower shop boy.”

It took a second for that to register and when it did, Rus made a face, scrunching up his nasal nodule at that addition to his new nickname. Not that it mattered, his cottony thoughts weren’t able to come up with a decent protest. His skull felt like a heavy sunflower atop a too-narrow stem as he gave a wobbly nod, biting back a protest as Edge drew back. He didn’t try to kiss Rus, only ran a gentle finger down his jawline, his gloved finger velvety soft.

“you don’t want me to--?” Rus trailed off weakly, unsure what he even meant to ask. Stay? Go to his room with him? The words eluded him and finally Edge made the choice for him, not at all the one Rus expected or wanted.

“Go talk to your brother,” Edge chided. Rus winced, looking down, and he was right, of course he was, he and Blue hadn’t really talked since they got here. His secrets were getting revealed in the worst ways possible and he honestly needed to explain to his brother before he got the wrong idea. He nodded again, unhappily, and when he dared to peek up again Edge’s expression was softened. His voice dropped to a low rumble as he murmured, “Besides, there’s no reason to be hasty, is there? Some things are more delectable when enjoyed slowly.”

The lazy curl of his tongue behind his fierce teeth as the word delectable rolled off it was terribly distracting, oh, holy angel, help me.

“i…i should…” Rus’s own stupid tongue could barely form simple words, much less multiple syllables, why couldn’t he even think properly? Why was Edge so…so…

“Go,” Edge told him, softly, and Rus did, stumbling out after his brother. Who was waiting in the hallway and if his expression had been cool at the dinner table, now it was positively frozen.

“Come on,” Blue said, low, and Rus followed him through the hallways, trusting his brother to know the way and keeping meekly at his heels until they were at their room.

The moment the door closed behind them, Rus started, “bro, let me explain.”

“It doesn’t matter.” Blue loosened his tie, tossing it across the back of the loveseat and that carelessness took Rus aback almost as much as his words. It wasn’t at all what Rus expected, dull-edged and exhausted, and he faltered. He’d been braced for his brother’s temper, his disappointment, any number of things, but not this empty resignation.

“what? of course it matters, bro.” Rus hesitated, glancing around the room as he remembered Blue’s worries about being overheard, and yeah, he trusted Red about as far as he could toss the bastard, and Rus was pretty sure he couldn’t even lift him. “okay, come on.”

He didn’t give Blue a chance to protest, caught hold of his hand and dragged him into the bathroom, closing the door behind them. Then he turned on all the taps to full blast, steam rising from the shower and the basin as the water roared. “there!” Rus said triumphantly, “you were worried about people listening in, now no one can hear us.”

The room was getting warm fast, and maybe that helped melt a little of the iciness still on his brother’s face. Blue looked around, nodding a little, “That’s actually quite clever.”

“i saw it in a movie once,” Rus took a deep, shaky breath, “okay, now, let me explain.”

“What does it matter?” Blue sank down to sit on the shaggy rug in front of the vanity, wrapping his arms around his knees as his sockets fell closed, hiding his starry eye lights as he said, dully, “I’ve already lost you. I tried so hard to keep you safe, but I couldn’t—I failed you.”

“what?” Rus spluttered. This wasn’t going at all like he’d expected, somehow managing to be even worse than any of his pained imaginings, “no, you—bro, just listen, please!”

Blue only shook his head, asking low and raw, “How long have you been sleeping with him?”

“i’m not!” The ‘yet’ seemed to hang between them, unspoken but not unheard. Heat bloomed in Rus’s cheek bones, bright with embarrassed shame.

“Is that where you disappeared to that first night?” Blue accused. His sockets flared open as he scrambled to his feet and there was the anger Rus expected. Except not, this wasn’t the familiar exasperation at his schoolyard troubles or his messy habits, those had no place in the cold fury in his brother’s expression, or in the acid of his voice as he asked, “Off to bed down with him, is that it?”

“we didn’t!” But the taste of guilt was thick in his throat, that had been his intention, hadn’t it? Did it even matter when Edge was the one to turn him away? “it… didn’t…wait, this is getting twisted around, you don’t understand!”

“What’s to understand? That you somehow got involved with that…person…and then dragged me and our shop in with it!” Blue heaved in a ragged breath, bursting out, “You should’ve known better from the start, this isn’t what we need!” He waved a hand at the bathroom, the opulent mirror fogged, the many showerheads pouring a wasteful waterfall down the drains. “All this flash and nonsense! We’ve always had each other, you and I, I always tried to teach you to be better and now you’ve brought this down on us!”

It was so unfair, Rus was near speechless, thick tears clogging in his throat and sockets. “it’s not like that!” he croaked. Then cringed at the scathing glare his brother sent towards him, and he’d never been so angry before, never, why…?

“Are you suggesting I imagined his tongue down your throat?” Blue said, so terribly cold and now the tears were burning, brimming threateningly, his soul pounding achingly with every word.

“no, but—”

“They’re criminals, all of them!” Blue snarled, “Every Monster here! Criminals! Stars only knows how much dust is on their hands!”

Rus couldn’t even protest that, he didn’t know, he could only dig for his own accusations, thin and shrill, “that didn’t stop you from making deals with them! your oh, so, important work tomorrow that you need to rest up for!”

“I am trying to get us out with our store and souls intact,” Blue said bitterly. “What sort of deal are you trying to make that involves spreading your knees? You’re so eager to be used up and tossed aside, I hope at least it pays well!”

Rus could only stare down at his brother in shock as tears welled in his sockets, spilling over in hot trails down his cheek bones, watching as Blue’s anger dimmed, remorse setting in, “Little brother, I—”

No. He couldn’t listen anymore, couldn’t stand here and hear his brother’s hatefulness. Rus closed his burning sockets and willed himself away.

The little breakroom downstairs was darkened and empty, all the gaiety of earlier drained away. Rus stumbled out of his shortcut over to a corner, sinking down to bury his face into his upraised knees, and if his thoughts were clouded earlier, now they were positively lost.

What was he supposed to do? His brother hated him right now and surely Blue would forgive him, (please, oh please), but a lifetime of trust between them was damaged by his foolish secrets, those bitter words still echoing in his skull. Used up, tossed aside, and he could hear Blaze’s crackling voice as he told him that once the Fells got sick of their toys, they broke them.

Idiot, careless, useless idiot, and that cold, inner voice wasn’t Blue, but their Pop, idiot, idiot, he always said, and it was true, wasn’t it. Here they were with everything they’d worked so hard for spiraling the drain and Rus was still caught up in the misty fantasy, letting it carry him along like a toy boat in a stream, only eventually the river would peter out and leave him stranded out alone in the vast ocean.

He couldn’t count on Edge to take care of him forever. He’d get sick of Rus eventually, probably soon. Once he figured out Rus wasn’t anything close to as interesting as he’d first thought, Edge would cast him aside, and the only question was whether it was before or after he and his brother kept their promises. Even if they did, were he and Blue going to be able to step back into their shop, work together as brothers without this hanging between them?

He didn’t know and Rus curled up tightly, muffling his sobs as he cried, and wishing desperately that he’d never sold Edge that first single red rose.

tbc

#spicyhoney #papcest #keelywolfe #underfell #underswap #underfell papyrus #underswap papyrus #mafia AU

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tibby · 4 years

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i tend not to be serious about stranger things on main because quite frankly this show does not deserve my time or attention outside of a few half assed joke posts, but i think the show is going to continue to miss the mark if they keep focusing more on shoving in hundreds of unnecessary pop culture references into every season and monsters that make no sense plot wise than they do on their characters and the relationships between them.

like it’s rare in an ensemble show to have the potential for such interesting dynamics between pretty much every combination of characters, and stranger things just refuses to utilise it. steve for some reason ends up interacting with the new characters every season but outside of that, we’ve seen the joyce/hopper, jonathan/nancy and party teams every season. and it’s fine, because they all work well together, but this show is not written well enough to make these repetitive teams work. it gives us nothing new about the characters and honestly at this point it’s doing more harm to them than good. like, are you seriously so out of ideas for joyce and hopper’s will they/won’t they after TWO seasons that you’ve had to resort to him not caring about her feelings and grief and trauma? can you seriously not figure out a way to have jonathan & nancy conflict AND combat the misogynist criticisms of your show without being classist and basically reducing both characters to irrelevancy? like, i’ll defend mike and lucas until the day i die, because when you’re fourteen you are kind of an idiot and insensitive, but also, there hits a point where it’s just bad characterisation.

the plot of this show is not good. maybe that’s controversial, but it’s my truth, and i stand by it. by this point it’s just a bunch of bad stephen king rip offs, pro capitalism, and needless “homages.” the plot is bad and the characters are good, and yet the characters are treated as secondary to the plot, which, in turn, makes the writing for them bad. and i’m not saying there should be a season with no monsters where everyone just is nice to each other and talks about their trauma (although, quite frankly, i’d prefer that over whatever the mess season four will inevitably be), but if you bring back the heart of the show from season one (three children lose their best friend and then befriend a girl with magical powers! a mother and brother are grieving! a girl desperately tries to find out what happened to the most important person in her life! a man starts to move on from his own grief by helping others!), it’d certainly be a lot more appealing than seasons two and three were.

and the thing is, the show has proven to be capable of writing emotional scenes between the characters. even discounting season one (the only good season), moments like mike & will in the hospital and el reading hopper’s letter and robin coming out to steve are praised for a reason. because they focus on the characters and the relationships they have, and stay true to who they’ve always been while also giving them crucial development.

it’s just fascinating to me that a show that will base an entire romantic relationship on “shared trauma” in which no one helps anyone, or spend an entire season trying to justify the actions of a racist abuser just because his dad sucked and his mom left, but can’t...actually give characters proper writing? can’t actually delve into the traumas these characters have? can’t have them talk to each other and be friends outside of their designated two characters they’re allowed to talk to, except in the finale, whenever everyone reunites because nobody bothers updating everyone, fucking apparently? can’t give any respect to the abuse survivors on this show, except for the ONE that became an abuser themselves? all the screentime that you gave to rants about how capitalism is good and needlessly long scenes featuring characters we don’t care about die and close ups of middle schoolers making out, could have been given to decent character development.

i just feel like that if your show about a found family hunting monsters together in the 80s doesn’t actually work on exploring trauma or family or love or friendship (question: do 80% of these people talk to each other when shit isn’t going down), then you’ve not only failed your audience, but you’ve also failed your characters.

also, since it’s all you seem to care about, it’s probably worthwhile to point out that you’ve also completely failed to understand the underlying messages and themes in about 95% of the media that you so dearly pay homage to.

#meta

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bearded-shepherd · 3 years

Text

Let’s Talk: Cyberpunk 2077 (no spoilers)

Ok so I finally finished the game... 1 WHOLE ASS agonizing month of gaming. ja, i know I'm late to the party, it took longer that expected.

Let’s start with the pros in the game:

+ Not gonna lie, this game is beautifully designed. I do like the unique style of the factions and the overall world design is cool.

+ The story was pretty good

+ I do like the side characters in the game and the side quests from them were enjoyable

Mixed:

+ the side characters are pretty 1d but you can tell the game put majority of it's energy on the character Judy no lie.

+ The Open world aspects has many different “gigs” and “fixers” all around. Some of these little quests were enjoyable and unique; however, over time as I got closer towards the end of the game it became monotonous.

And it really has become apparent that as I completed majority of the big side quests and the main quests , the world just felt empty to the point of boredom.

Cons:

O boy, I’m not gonna delve into all of CDPR controversies with this game; I’m only going to be talking about the game/game-play.

+ You already know, the bugs, glitches and crashes, it gets really annoying towards the end of the game

+ I stopped counting the crashes on the base ps4 after 5

+ It took the studio 8 years to work on the game and yet it is far from completion it feels like they have scrapped majority of their game by the time they've introduced Long John Silverhand back in 2018 (I believe).

+ For them to tout that this game was going to be the rpg of the next gen or something, it’s far from it. ( I know they dont call it an rpg anymore) but it’s most definitely not the action game of the next gen. You can watch many videos to see that even last gen games had done better.

+ My dumbass didnt get to romance with Panam

+ The character creation is the only rpg element in this game and, honestly, they could've have gotten rid of character creation all together because of how none of it really change the actions of the game (Just like all the other stuff CDPR had promised before; what’s another promise but to be broken). Nomad, Street Kid, Corpo, it’s doesnt fukin matter, your story will be the same going through, except for the first 20-40 minutes.

+ Speaking of character creation in general, i expected more to it. If they let you customize your bottoms to have a large uncut peepee then i expect you to have all the basics in what a character design offers... But no. I cant be buff, i can't be a fat, i cant change my height, and i don't know why they didn't think of sliders.

+ If I couldn't change my Bald headed ass in the character creation maybe I can do it in game... no...ain't no barber in sight. Barbershops are illegal now I guess

+ I dont understand the existence of consumables in this game, if there were less bounce backs or inhalers, then understandable; However I am swimming in those med drugs.

+ You can't use the BDs unless you're in a quest that needs one which is disappointing since they play a big role in the quests.

+ the stats on clothing are pretty useless. I'm most likely going to pick the clothing articles that has higher armor and most of the time in the game I look like i dressed myself at dollar tree or something in the dark.

In a game where you can go to a ripper and customize whatever, why not just ditch the armor stats on clothes and put them with all the ripper stuff... I just want my character to look like a decent badass rancher ok, all a person can ask for.

+ Bruv THERE IS LITTLE TO NO AI IN THIS GAME... Lemme word it better, the Ai is hella stupid in this game. The cars follow 1 specific path on the road and if they get stuck, they disappear or stop and disappear. The random generated people in this game are zombies too.

( I can't punch a bitch out and steal their money, they don't fight me back... where's the fun.)

Accidentally run over someone...well the cops in this game cannot drive, so you can drive a block away to bypass the arrest warrants.

If not, the fukin po po will relay to your ass coordinates, they just appear out of no where.

The combat is...enjoyable to an extent; once you get to a certain point in leveling and gather a lot of Legendary weapons it gets repetitive.

+ There's one thing I've noticed right away during combat is the weapon mechanics, specifically the guns. I don't know if it's just me but the guns feel out of place in this game. I feel like something is missing from it but i don't know what.

To summarize it all together; even with out the bugs, glitches, and all the other controversial stuff, the game is ok; the game is enjoyable to an extent. You can obviously tell the devs were too ambitious for their own good making the product half baked in the end. The game has forgotten a number of basics that are expected in an rpg (now action game) that makes those types of games more enjoyable.

The world feels a bit empty as you complete the game. The characters are pretty one dimensional and the over all story wasn’t the best but good. I wish there was more stuff to do with the side characters like making them companions in not just their own quests.

It seems that at a certain point in the production, CDPR may have scrapped a lot of work in order to recon Silverhand into the story giving them even less time to finish the game. And it seems that a lot of stuff that deals with Jackie were scrapped too since his story was really short.

This list can go on, but those are my main gripes about the game.

I also chose the WORST ENDING of the game, but i have zero regrets cause it honestly fits tho, but I’ll talk about that later.

#video games #cyberpunk 2077 #cd projekt red #cdpr #rambles #LTs

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jamesedwinstark · 3 years

Text

Ok James torture post 2. This is a different story altogether, basically a "villains win" au.

Again, it's NOT canon! Just a nightmare :)

Also tw for rape and torture, of course.

Loki's threads were coming loose. She watched, the picture of disinterest, as Sin executed another row of SHIELD agents. It was as if she was seeing it all happen through a veil, repetition having turned victory into a chore.

It had only ever started as something to do. She'd gone back to fucking Victor mostly out of boredom, had joined his little cabal to annoy Thor and cause some trouble. It was supposed to be fun. It wasn't until they'd bound themselves together with ancient blood magic that Loki realized she was in too deep with no way out, but by that time it was too late to turn back without appearing weak. It wasn't without reservation that she'd tied her fate irrevocably to the most vile people on the planet. Now she really was trapped; the spell had made her dependent on the rest of the cabal for her very survival. It had also made all of them too powerful to stop.

It was just a bit of fun. They weren't supposed to be actually winning.

"I think this sends a clear enough message, what do you think?" Sin asked, turning to Loki with a wicked grin.

Loki looked over the pile of corpses in front of her. These people were supposed to be decent at their jobs. They were supposed to stop people like her. That's the way the story was supposed to go, the way it always had gone. This narrative was... unfamiliar. Wrong. It left a bitter, almost metallic taste in Loki's mouth.

"You remain as subtle as ever." Loki replied.

"Subtlety has no place in war." Sin countered, "Besides, there's no reason for you to be a killjoy. You could try to have a little fun once in a while."

Loki pouted, "I'm tired. This is boring." That was the end of the conversation.

The flight back to Castle Doom was uncomfortable. Loki was sore all over; it seemed that she ached all the time now.

A voice that sounded a little too much like her father muttered in the back of her mind. It's guilt, Loki. Look at what you've done.

He was right. The cramping had started not long after they'd captured one of the Avengers. If it had been anyone else, Loki wouldn't have cared at all, but of course it had to be James.

They'd tortured him for days, trying to get information out of him. Loki had found any excuse to get out of the castle while it happened. Even now, the memory of his screams echoing through the halls made Loki's stomach turn. From what she heard, by the end of it he was weeping openly and begging for his father like a child. They all thought that was very funny.

After that, she'd tried to help him. She’d wanted to help him. She'd had him brought to her room, let him sleep in her bed instead of the floor of Victor’s dungeon, gave him food that was actually edible, let him bathe and wash the dried blood off himself. She took care of him, and asked very little in return. It wasn't so bad, was it? It wasn't anything they hadn't done before.

Another voice, this time her mother's, answered you know that isn't true.

When he was clean Loki had wrapped a warm, fluffy towel around James’ naked body, tilted his chin up gently to look at her.

I’ll take care of you, sweet boy. I'll protect you. I'm not like them.

He’d looked so tired, and small, and Loki had been reminded of how young he really was.

I'm not like them. I love you. You still love me, don't you?

He’d said yes, and it wasn't a lie.

And... you are grateful… that I'm helping you?

James’ gaze had always been scorching, uncomfortable. He never looked at anyone; he looked through them, inside them. He burned holes into you with his eyes. After a drawn out silence. She'd cupped his face in her hands.

I love you. You said you love me. I just need you to show me…

He’d said yes, and he’d meant no. They both knew he’d meant no. Neither of them did anything about it, though. Loki took what she wanted and James was taken back to his cell. That was weeks and weeks ago now, and she hadn't seen him since. She hadn't been able to look at him.

Loki buried her face in her shoulder and bit down on her quivering lip. Sin could not be allowed to see her cry.

It had never really been about helping James, had it? She'd just wanted herself back, the parts of herself that James loved, the parts that were not tied to anything evil. He was pure, and loving him made her clean. The aches and cramps had started soon after she'd used James to clean herself.

Victor was waiting for them when they landed. He and Sin discussed the mission, which had been an unparalleled success by their estimations, while Loki zoned in and out. All she really wanted was a nap and a pile of bacon. Then Sin left and Victor laid a very cold hand against her cheek and she thought that, since he was in the mood, she may as well get a depressing orgasm as well.

Loki did an excellent job feigning interest while Victor worked in her. He could get temperamental when she didn't fawn and and moan to his satisfaction, and she just didn't feel like dealing with his moods. She wanted to get off so she could go to sleep. There were a lot of things to be said about Victor Von Doom, few of them pleasant, but he knew what he was doing in bed. Loki always came hard when they used each other.

(There was something endearing about inexperience, though. The eagerness and overconfidence of it, and Loki found herself thinking of warmer, gentler hands on her body than Victor’s while she orgasmed. Victor felt so distant, always, even when he was inside her. He didn't seem to feel anything, certainly wouldn't have shared those feelings with her if he did. Loki wondered if she was ever going to feel intimacy ever again.)

“You know that I usually appreciate the way you shape yourself, Loki.” Victor said when they were done, “But I can't help wondering who you’re trying to impress with this.”

Loki winced when he touched her breast.

“Who do I have to impress but you, my love?” Loki asked, but honestly she didn't know what he was talking about. Her breasts were exactly the same as the ones she always made for herself.

Victor's eyes narrowed behind his mask.

“It occurs to me that keeping the boy in the dungeon is a waste of resources. We have allies now who might make use of him, and there are soldiers on our side who need...entertainment.” He said, “After all, why should you be the only one who gets to play with him?”

Of course Victor was going to find out about that. This made twice now that James had fucked someone Victor felt he had a claim on. Loki swallowed bile.

“...Oh.”

When she got back to her room, Loki spent a solid half hour lying on her bed and staring at the ceiling. It was getting late, but Victor’s staff would cater to her every need whenever she wanted. She activated the intercom to order herself room service.

“Good evening ma’am, would you like the usual?” A heavily Latverian-accented voice asked.

‘The usual’ was bacon with a side of sausage, and lots of it.

“Yes, thank you.” Loki said absently, and then. “Wait, and also, I want oysters. I want as many oysters as you have. And… steaks. Bring me steaks.”

“Of course, how would you like them?”

For a moment, Loki could believe what she was about to say, but she found herself unable to imagine putting anything in her mouth except… “I want them raw.”

Something was wrong with her body. Something was very wrong with her body.

Loki stood up and staggered to the bathroom, heart racing. These last few weeks had seen her sore and exhausted almost constantly, and thinking back she realized her last period hadn't been much more than a few spots of blood, as if her body was shutting down. Gods, the cabal were all so powerful now, but where was that power coming from? Perhaps the rest of the cabal were siphoning Loki's life force, and that was the source of their newfound strength. Had she been tricked? Had she been tricked?

It took a while after she reached the bathroom to look at herself in the mirror. She hadn't been able to since… but this was a matter of life or death, so she forced herself to look at her own reflection.

It was... different, but she didn't look unhealthy. If anything, she looked a little less pale than usual, and she realized now what Victor had meant about her breasts. They'd gotten huge, but Loki hadn't intended to do that. Why had she unconsciously increased her cup size? She'd thought that she'd finalized the design of her female form centuries ago.

Cold sweat broke out across Loki's forehead. What if she wasn't the one changing her body? What if her body was just changing of its own accord? Bodies did that sometimes. Women's bodies did that especially, and Loki had a woman's body. She'd created it to be functional in every way, down to the smallest detail.

Her hand fluttered over her abdomen. Those details didn't seem so small anymore.

Slumping to the floor, Loki forced herself to breathe. She couldn't be sure yet, but the evidence, the cramps and the cravings, pointed strongly in one particular direction. She wasn't dying, she was-

“Pregnant.” She said, quietly, just to see how it felt. It felt true. Shit.

Statistically, the child was very likely Victor’s. He apparently liked to fuck when he was winning, and he'd been winning very often, and Loki was there and convenient all the time. In all probability, Loki was carrying a little Von Doom, and their child would be marvelous and terrible to behold. Victor would raise them in his own image, and Loki would teach them all that she knew, and they would inherit the earth and rule it like a born monarch. There was no point considering any other possibility.

That Loki might have a smiling, sensitive child with soft brown eyes was too unlikely to even think about.

Cursing, she knocked her head lightly against the wall. If she thought she could get away with it, she'd say the child was James’ no matter what. When it came to which of them would be a better father, which she wanted raising her baby, there was no contest, and it wasn't as if one needed blood to be a family after all. Victor would want tests done, though, and if the child was his he would want to have it. It would be his most prized possession, a great achievement for him, though he certainly wouldn't ever call it his greatest achievement, because he'd have to share the credit.

And if the child was James’... Victor wouldn't want them, and Loki wouldn't have to watch her baby being turned into a monster like Hela, or like what she herself had become.

James would have to forgive her.

It was pointless to consider it, but she was considering it anyway. Having James’ child bound them together in the oldest blood magic there was, and wouldn't it make him happy besides? The child would be something they could both cling to, wrap the frayed edges of their psyches around. This was a gift. This was like finding an abandoned child on the edge of a frozen battlefield; a blessing after experiencing the horrors of war.

Perhaps she understood Odin a little better now. Maybe she had helped him heal from the war, let him become the wise and fair man that most of Asgard believed him to have been. That was a nice thought, to imagine she might have made someone better. This child could do the same for her. She could be better. Gently, she laid a hand over her abdomen and imagined she could feel something moving. What would a good mother do?

Activating the intercom again, she said, “Have the Stark boy sent up to my room.”

This time she would do things right. James could rest and she could tell him about the baby. She could give him that joy, and that would be enough. He didn't have to do anything in return, they could just be happy together.

Then again, when he heard the good news, surely James would remember how much he loved Loki, and then he would want to… if he loved her he'd want to, right? The soreness in her body wasn't guilt after all, but a symptom of her pregnancy. Maybe she hadn't actually done anything wrong? She wasn't like the others, after all. She wasn't a monster. He had said yes. Besides, something good had come out of it…

Something good.

Clarity hit Loki like a lightning bolt. Frigga would have never done this, and if Loki was going to be a mother she had to be better. She had to be the person that Thor believed she could be, the person James had always believed she already was… or, he had. Before she'd forced herself on him.

That's what it had been. Loki took a deep breath. Best to accept that, best to accept what she'd done. She sucked down more air, but it wasn't enough. Her mouth filled with thick saliva, and she leaned over the toilet and vomited.

That was just morning sickness; it had to be. James was going to forgive her. James always forgave her. He could forgive anything, and Loki would not hurt him again. Not like that.

It wasn't much, but it was a start.

<><><>

(This next story is set a few years later, after the cabal have taken over most of the world, and have set up their home base in the Avenger's tower. Other supervillains have joined up, and they all pass James around and torture/rape him. Also Tony has also been captured and James keeps him in a magically induced coma so he doesn't have to think about what's happening.)

<><><>

The dolls were fighting. Saga yelled all the insults she had recently learned, imagining they were being said by the two little figures she had clutched in her fists. Finally, when she was satisfied that the argument had reached its peak, she took the smaller of the dolls out of the dollhouse and threw him against the wall to punish him. He smacked it hard and his arm snapped off.

“Oopsie!” Saga gasped, but it was alright. Mother would fix it. She retrieved the two pieces and put them in her wagon. Broken or not, the doll still wasn't allowed back in the dollhouse, even if he banged on the door and cried and begged to be let back in.

She put the other doll to bed so that the story could progress, but before anything more could happen, her mother came into her room and interrupted the game. Mother was wearing his armor, and if Saga looked at him from the right angle she could see all the purple halos coming off of it. She'd asked her parents what the purple halos meant, but neither of them could answer her. They didn't know what she meant, though Saga felt that her questions were more than clear.

“Precious, Mother needs to take care of some things. You've got to come with me, alright?” He explained. But Saga wasn't done playing.

“No thank you.” She answered, and it occurred to her that now was a good time to have her doll fixed. Taking the broken pieces out of the wagon, she handed them to her mother. “Fix please.”

Mother crouched down to Saga’s level. “Saga, be gentler with your toys.” He chided before taking the pieces and waving his hand over them. They shimmered green for a moment and then the doll was whole again. Mother put the doll in bed with the other one, which wasn't right, but things changed so quickly that Saga supposed it didn't matter. “Now, be a good girl and come along. I promise it will only be a little while and you can come back to your game.”

Well, Saga did want to be a good girl. “Okay.” She agreed, and Mother picked her up and walked out the door.

Saga very rarely left home, so the rest of the tower felt strange and unfamiliar. Saga loved it though. It was like an adventure every time, and she got to meet her mother’s friends sometimes. A few were very nice to her.

As Mother walked down the hall, Saga spotted Hyperion and Amora walking by in the opposite direction. She waved excitedly to them, and each of them smiled and waved back.

“Loki, I feel like I haven't seen you in ages.” Amora cooed. “You’re always holed up in your room these days.”

“This one keeps me very busy.” Mother replied, nodding his head towards Saga.

“She's getting so big.” Hyperion said and then, addressing Saga, continued, “aren't you missy? Gonna grow up big and strong like your uncle Hyperion?”

Saga nodded vigorously raised both hands above her head and announced “Very big! Like my mumma!”

The adults all laughed. Saga liked when they laughed. It meant they liked her.

“You need a break, Loki. Come to the party tonight.” Hyperion said.

Mother pulled Saga a little closer and said, “I'm afraid, since my babysitter is the guest of honor at those ‘parties,’ I'll have to decline.”

“And you get plenty of one-on-one time with the boy, don't you?” Amora said, “We all wonder just what it is you do to him that takes hours and hours every night.”

“You’ll have to continue wondering.” Mother replied, and he was really holding Saga uncomfortably tightly now. She started to squirm out of his arms, but he was too strong. “Now, if you don't mind, I think Victor will have my head if I'm late for another strategy meeting.”

Saga waved goodbye as Hyperion and Amora went on their way. Mother took her into the elevator, and Saga gazed happily at the purple threads that seemed to pulse from every inch of the elevator’s surface. She had to keep moving her head, because she really could only see them out of the corner of her eye. She grabbed at them, but as usual they just slipped through her fingers like water in the sink. She wanted to touch them very badly, though.

“Saga, when Daddy gets home tonight we’re going to be extra good to him, do you understand?” Mother said suddenly.

That was confusing, because Saga was always extra good, but she said “Yes Mumma.” anyway, just to be agreeable. She hoped Daddy would play his guitar and sing with her when he got home, but sometimes he was too tired. Mother said to always let Daddy rest when he gets tired, but Mother didn't always obey that rule himself, so Saga didn't quite know what she was supposed to do.

They arrived at a set of big doors and Mother put Saga down. While they were both on the ground, he took her by the shoulders and said, seriously, “When we go in there you have to be very quiet and let Mother work. You can let me know if you need to be changed, but otherwise please don't interrupt. Can you do that for me?”

“I be good.” Saga assured her mother, earning herself a big smile and a kiss on the forehead. Then Mother stood and passed through the big doors, Saga following close behind.

In the middle of the room was a large table with projections emanating from it. Mother was trying to teach Saga the difference between magic and technology, but she couldn't tell yet whether the projections were holograms or illusions. Around the table stood some people Saga recognized: Mr. Osborn and Ms. Schmidt and that Mandarin man, plus some people Saga hadn't seen before or whose names she had forgotten. At the head of the table, in his very big chair, sat Doom. Mother talked about Doom all the time. He seemed to glow purple.

The group were all deep in discussion, but everyone turned to look at Mother when he walked in.

“You've started without me.” Mother observed as he led Saga into a corner and sat her down.

Saga watched Mr. Osborn’s face crinkle up. “You brought your girl?”

Mother summoned, seemingly out of thin air, a coloring book and some crayons, a juice box and a bag of animal crackers, which he laid in front of Saga. “It's called parenting, Norman. Some of us like to give it a go now and then.”

With that, Mother stood and headed towards the table. “What fresh hell has the General decided to send us this time?” He asked. One of the other adults answered him, but she used too many words that Saga didn't understand so she stopped listening and got started coloring a picture.

She flipped through the book until she found a picture of a kitty flying an airplane. She grabbed a blue crayon in her fist and started filling in the sky. Both Mother and Daddy liked it when she colored outside the lines, which was good because that was really all that Saga could do. She wanted the kitty to be yellow but the color seemed too faint, so halfway through she switched it to orange. The airplane she colored in gray, and added in the purple lines she knew airplanes had, because she had seen them flying overhead and felt the tingly sensation they radiated. She didn't know why she always had to add in the purple lines herself.

The picture had come out really well, and Saga itched to show it to someone. She glanced over at her mother, who was getting angry with one of his friends, and remembered that she wasn't supposed to talk to him unless she had a dirty diaper. She tried to make pee so she'd have an excuse to get attention, but nothing came out.

It dawned on her that this would make a really good gift for Nonno. He always liked to see her pictures, and even kept some next to his bed. He couldn't look at them very often because he was almost always asleep, but he said he liked knowing they were there. She would give him this picture and then he would tell her silly stories about when Daddy was a baby. Maybe he could explain what the halos were. He had a purple bloom sprouting from his chest, so he had to know.

After gathering her things, Saga set out on her journey. She made sure she was quiet when she left the room and shut the door behind her. Mother had told her to stay quiet, and she was a good girl. She started down the hall, but it didn't take very long before she realized she didn't really know where Nonno’s room was, or even if she was on the right floor. Sitting heavily on the ground, Saga sipped her juice thoughtfully. Whenever Daddy took her to see Nonno, they went down in the elevator and headed south, more or less. Mother had already taken her down in the elevator, so if Saga went south she'd find Nonno. That made sense.

Her plan in her mind, Saga followed along the paths that went north and south. The hallways were so long, and everywhere looked the same. It was so frustrating.

Looking at her crayons, Saga remembered one time when she had drawn a picture on her bedroom door and Daddy had made her sit with him while he scrubbed it off.

“When you do this, Daddy has to clean it up.” He'd explained. She remembered how battered and bruised his face was.

“Ouchie.” She'd said, pointing at him.

“It's ok, Princess. It looks worse than it is. Now, be a good girl and don't draw on the walls anymore.”

“Okay Daddy.”

Saga took a few of her crayons and started scrawling on the walls. If Daddy had to clean this up, that meant he'd have to appear, and then Saga could make him take her to Nonno. Mother would think she was so clever if he knew about her foolproof plan. She could tell him later.

As Saga drew, she thought about Daddy's angry bruises and bandaged arms, and wondered why it was only Daddies who came home with ouchies and not Mothers or little girls? She never really got a good answer to that question.

A distant sound of laughter and applause pulled Saga out of her thoughts. If there were people, she could ask for their help finding Daddy. No, wait, she'd been looking for Nonno. Either way. Adults liked her. They would help her. Maybe they'd want to see her picture too. She followed the sound of voices, even though it meant she wasn't going south anymore. As she got closer, she realized just how loud they were being. Maybe this was the party Hyperion had been talking about? Saga hoped so. A party sounded like fun. She could have cake.

Saga found the room that the party was in, but it didn't look much like a party. It was just a bunch of adults sitting or standing around in groups and talking. She didn't see any cake, but it seemed like a good idea to keep looking. Nobody noticed her when she wandered in, but that was okay. She wanted to find somebody she recognized before asking for help.

There was another room attached to the main one, but there wasn't any cake there either. It was just a bunch of adults sitting at a table playing a card game. The table also had a bunch of funny looking things on it that Saga couldn't identify. Some had halos. Most didn't. She recognized Mr. Hammer there, and Amora too, but what really caught her attention was who was under the table.

“Daddy?” Nobody heard her. Curious, she stayed in the doorway and watched what happened.

Daddy was wearing pretty lace stockings and gloves, like a lady in a movie, but he didn't have any other clothes on. That was silly. Saga could see more cuts on his chest that she'd never known about before. He also had bracelets with shiny chains that connected to each other, to match the thick necklace he always wore. All his jewelry had halos. His eyes were closed, and Saga thought maybe he was sleeping.

“Three of a kind! I win!” Mr. Hammer announced. As soon as he did, Daddy’s eyes popped open. Mr. Hammer whistled and snapped his fingers. “Here boy.”

Daddy crawled over to where Mr. Hammer was sitting, like he was playing pretend he was a doggy. He looked up and smiled, and Saga felt so relieved. It's just a game. Daddy is happy. Daddy is ok.

“What kind of reward would you like, Justin?” Daddy asked. In answer, Mr. Hammer pulled Daddy up by his hair and ran a thumb over his lips.

“I want you to put that pretty mouth to good use. How does that sound, Baby?”

Daddy kept smiling, “That sounds amazing, thank you. I love to suck you off.”

Amora tossed cards around the table, “It's so creepy how you make him pretend to like it.” She said.

Someone Saga didn't recognize added, “You're missing out on the best part: when he begs you to stop.”

“Nah, the best part is after, when I go tell Tony what the inside of his son's throat feels like.” Mr. Hammer replied. Saga didn't see what happened exactly, but Daddy put his face in Mr. Hammer’s lap and he gasped.

The adults talked about something while they played their game, but Saga was watching Daddy. Why didn't he get to play too? They needed to share and take turns. That was how friends played.

“Round’s over, Hammer. You gotta finish up.” Somebody said finally.

“Yeah, I'm almost-” Mr. Hammer sputtered out before making a weird sound and sighing, “Yeah.”

Daddy sat back. He was still smiling. “Thank you Justin. You're so wonderful.”

“Creepy.” Amora insisted.

“Hey, your boyfriend’s the one who wanted to have his goddamn baby. That's creepy. I just know what I like.”

“If you're done, it's my turn.” The man Saga didn't recognize, the one who said the best part was being asked to stop, stood and, reaching under the table, dragged Daddy out by the chain binding his wrists. Daddy wasn't smiling anymore.

“Don't break him, Bulls. It's still early.”

“Yeah.” Mr. Hammer agreed, “Break him later.”

“It takes all my willpower to shove things up his ass instead of through his skull. Be thankful.”

The bad man bent Daddy over the table and selected the largest of the strange objects. He took the object and arranged it in some way Saga couldn't quite see. Daddy saw what it was and started to cry, and Saga cried too. If the game wasn't fun for everyone, they needed to stop playing. They weren't being nice.

As soon as she began to cry, Daddy's eyes widened. He started looking around frantically.

“Wait! Wait, please. Saga’s here somewhere, I feel her, she's-”

The bad man didn't wait. He thrust forward and Daddy screamed.

Saga had never heard a sound like that before. He screamed and screamed, not making any words. Just communicating raw, unbearable agony in the only way he could.

Then she was screaming too. Saga wailed “DADDY! DADDY!” and curled in on herself, clenching her eyes tightly shut. Mother had never ever made Daddy scream like that.

“Oh shit, get the brat out of here!”

Suddenly, Saga was keenly aware of every fiber of purple light, which before had been so hard to see even with her eyes open. Unthinking, she reached for them and they slithered into her grasp. The bad man had the light inside him, in his arms and legs, but Saga was holding the light. It had to stop. The screaming had to stop. He was hurting Daddy.

There was a crunch, then someone else was screaming.

“Holy... shit.”

“Well, that’s a buzzkill.”

“Christ, somebody call medical.”

People rushed around her, their footsteps frantic. Saga’s eyes were still closed and she was still screaming when she felt herself being picked up and carried away. She thrashed to get free. Who was taking her? Was it the bad man? Was he going to hurt her too?

“DADDY! DADDY HELP!” She wailed, but if her daddy couldn’t save himself, how would he save her?

“Shh, shh Love. It’s me. It’s Mother.” Saga felt gentle hands stroking her hair. She opened her eyes. They were back in the hallway, she and her mother, but Daddy wasn’t there.

“Daddy?!” She pleaded between choking gasps of air. Her throat ached from crying.

“Daddy is alright, Precious. Daddy is fine.”

“NO!” How could Daddy be fine and scream like that? Why didn’t Mother understand? “Bad- bad man! Mumma, please! Stop- help- he screaming.” She didn’t know how to say what she needed to say, so she just threw her head back and wailed.

Mother bounced and rocked her, humming soothingly, but it was no use. Saga needed Daddy. The bad man would get her unless Mother did something, unless Daddy was safe. Why was this happening? She could hardly breathe. Everything was going dark.

No, not dark. Green. Shimmering green. Her throat burned. Had she been crying? She’d gone to the party and then… something had happened, and Mother had carried her out, sobbing. Because there was no cake. It was a bad party because there was no cake.

“Ah, there’s my beautiful, smiling girl.” Mother cooed. He handed Saga a fresh juice box.

“Want cake.” Saga demanded.

“Alright. Alright. Darling, precious, sweet little girl. We’ll have cake at home. Doesn’t that sound nice? It’ll be all better.”

Saga drank her juice. It felt good on her sore throat.

“Loki!” Saga heard someone hiss. She looked down the hall to see Amora headed towards her. She was angry. Saga buried her face in her mother’s neck.

“I know I need to watch her more carefully. A lecture is a waste of both our time.” Mother snapped. Saga tensed. She wanted to go back to her room.

“Are you feigning ignorance, or did you truly not see what she did to Bullseye?”

“Don't be absurd. Saga didn't do that. She's a baby.” Mother insisted. Saga didn't understand. Was she in trouble?

“A baby with mutant blood.” Amora said, then, after a pause, asked, “Why did you tell her that Stark is her father?”

“What?”

“She called him ‘Daddy.’”

Daddy? Where was Daddy? Saga needed him very badly, or… she thought she did. She couldn't remember now.

“Doesn't she have a right to know?”

“He's a toy, Loki.” Amora said, “Please tell me that you don't take him to your room every night to play at being a family. Like Hammer making him act like he's in love.”

“I am not like Hammer.” Mother seethed. Saga felt him lurch forward, imposing himself into Amora’s space.

“Loki he can't love you. You must know that.”

Were they still talking about Daddy? Daddy loved Mother very much. Why would Amora think he didn't? They must be talking about somebody else.

“I… I don't need him to love me. Of course. He is, as you say, a toy.” Mother explained. “I only need a nanny, and the boy is more cooperative when he gets to call it parenting.”

Amora laughed, “If you insist.”

“It's late. I want to take my daughter home.” Saga felt her mother sidestep around Amora and head back down the hallway.

“Doom’s going to want to know why our best assassin is getting scraped off the floor right now.” Amora called after them. “You might want to start coming up with excuses.”

They went home in silence. Mother ordered some cake for them as soon as they got back. Cake would be good. It would be like a party. She hoped Daddy would come home soon, and they could all have cake and have a party together.

Saga frowned. That didn't seem right. Something made her think that Daddy didn't like parties very much.

<><><>

“I'm sorry! I’m sorry! I'm sorry there's so much blood! Oh no, oh no.”

The strained voice of her daddy woke Saga up. Her tummy started to flutter uncomfortably, and she hid her head under her blanket and clutched her Bunny.

So softly that Saga could barely hear, Mother hissed, “I'm trying to stop the bleeding. Stop screaming, you'll wake the baby.”

“I don't wanna die, Loki!” Daddy cried, “Please don't let me die.”

A loud sob shook Saga’s body, and she buried her face in her pillow to stifle the sound. It would only get worse if she started crying. It always got worse if she started crying.

Her parents were speaking more quietly now, which was a good sign, but it meant she couldn’t hear what they were saying. Was Daddy going to die? Saga didn’t even want to think about that, about never seeing her daddy again, about having nobody to sing to her or play with her. After what seemed like an eternity, she heard Daddy walk towards her room with uneven steps, but instead of turning into his own room, he stopped. Quietly, her door opened.

“I know you're awake, Princess.” Daddy said. He sounded sleepy. Saga pulled her blanket tighter around herself.

The bed dipped as Daddy sat down on it. “You don't have to be scared. Everything is ok.”

“Don't die.” Saga pleaded.

“That's.. you heard that, huh?”

Saga just whimpered in reply.

“Come out from under the blanket, Saga.” Daddy coaxed, “You’ll overheat.”

Sniffling, Saga crawled out from her cocoon. Daddy was right, it had been too hot in there. She sucked in a breath of cool air, and the squirming in her tummy settled.

“You said-” Saga began, but started to cry before she could get the words she wanted out.

Daddy lifted the blanket and climbed into bed next to her, gently shifting her stuffed animals as he did so. “I know what I said, but it's ok. It's nothing you have to worry about.” He hugged her gently, and she nuzzled into the soft fabric of his shirt. “Nothing bad is going to happen. I promise. All you have to worry about is being a happy little girl. Can you do that for me?”

Saga shook her head. She was too scared to be happy.

“Well, that's ok too.” Daddy said as he rubbed her back soothingly. “But you'll feel better tomorrow, Princess. We’ll all feel better tomorrow.”

Like magic, Saga was completely calm again. She closed her eyes and felt herself drift off to the sound of her daddy softly singing.

When Saga opened her eyes again, her room was flooded with light, and Daddy was gently snoring next to her. She rolled over and tapped him lightly.

“Wake up Daddy.” She whispered.

Daddy scrunched up his face.

“Daddy! Wake up time.” Saga insisted. She patted him on the chest, more roughly this time. “Daddy! Good morning Daddy!”

“Saga… ugh.” Daddy groaned. “Good morning. Please go bother your mother.” With that, he rolled over.

There was nothing else Saga could do. She hopped out of bed and made her way down the hallway and into the kitchen to bother her mother.

Mother was a girl again today. She was already eating breakfast, which for her consisted of mostly piles of bacon and sausage, served in the shiny metal trays that appeared with food every day and then disappeared without a trace. The threads of purple light surrounding the trays caught Saga’s eye, and something like a memory of a dream tickled the back of her mind. She’d been able to touch the light before… in that dream…

“Good morning, Sweetie.” Mother tittered with a smile when she saw Saga walk in. “I need to talk to Daddy. Is he awake?”

“He won’t.” Saga replied.

“Won’t what?”

Saga sighed, “Won’t wake up. He sleeping and sleep and…” She huffed. “Not get up.”

Mother’s eyes widened like she was about to be slapped in the face. She practically leapt from the table and dashed across the kitchen, brushing past Saga without a glance. Saga followed after her.

“No. Oh no no no. James? James?!” She called out, rushing into Saga’s room. Daddy was there, sitting bolt upright in the bed.

“Honey, honey it’s ok.” He blurted out. “What’s going on?”

“Saga said you wouldn’t wake up and I thought…” Mother sunk onto the bed. “Of course... you’re just tired, aren’t you my love?” She sighed and, cupping Daddy’s jaw in her hands, gently kissed him all over his face.

Daddy closed his eyes. “Yeah.”

“There’s coffee in the kitchen. I’ll take care of Saga.” Mother offered, smoothing Daddy’s hair. “I need to talk to you, and it can’t really wait any longer.”

Without opening his eyes, Daddy nodded. Mother gave him another kiss, then turned around and focused her attention on Saga. Knowing what was coming, Saga reached up her arms and allowed herself to be scooped up by her mother and carried into the bathroom.

When Mother changed and dressed her, it was much quicker than when Daddy did it. Mother simply waved her hands and Saga had a new diaper and her pajamas became playclothes. Still, when Daddy dressed her, she got to pick what she wore. Today, Mother chose a red dress, but Saga wanted blue.

“No this please.” She said.

Mother just handed Saga her toothbrush. “It's fine, Saga. Mother’s in a hurry.”

Saga pouted and made sure to do a bad job brushing her teeth. That would teach Mother a lesson. The only problem was that Mother didn't notice. Was this lack of attention tantrum-worthy? In the time it took Saga to consider whether or not to scream, she found herself hauled out of the bathroom into the kitchen and plopped into her high chair. The moment had passed.

Daddy was already in the kitchen, sipping his coffee with a soft smile on his face. The smell of coffee was so soothing; it always made Saga think of her daddy. After situating Saga in her chair, mother walked over to Daddy and lightly stroked his face.

“It's so nice to see you smile, my darling.” She said.

Daddy sighed. “I get that these aren't ideal circumstances, but all my… appointments... were cancelled.” He laughed, but it didn't sound like he thought it was funny. “I get the day off.”

“I know.” Mother answered as she started piling eggs and toast and bacon into a plate, “I'm going to do my best to keep you reserved all day so you can watch Saga. I need to smooth this over.” She thrust the plate in front of Daddy. He frowned.

“Hon, I don't-”

“You will not starve yourself while you're watching my baby.” She warned. “I'm not coming home to that again, James. Don't you make me.”

Daddy took a bite of toast and chewed it slowly. Was that how people were supposed to eat toast? Saga may have been doing it wrong this whole time.

“Please.” She said, reaching for the toast. She had to practice.

Immediately, Daddy cut up some toast and, for some reason, bacon into manageable pieces and left them for Saga on her tray. He also supplied her with a handful of raspberries. She went for the toast, though. If Daddy had toast, that's what Saga wanted.

“Is that good, Saga?” Mother asked, sitting down at the table. “Do you like that?”

Saga scrunched up her face. Didn't Mother realize she had to concentrate?

Mother turned to Daddy. “What is that face? What does it mean? Does she want something else?”

“Honestly, she's just really determined to eat toast.” Daddy replied, laughing. He always understood.

Mother smiled, but her smile faded almost immediately. “We have to blame somebody else for what she did yesterday. Nobody can know that she's…”

“So we’re sure?” Daddy sat up straight and leaned closer to Mother. “We're sure it was her? Couldn't it have been someone else?”

Mother shook her head, “Amora saw where the spell came from. Luckily for us she did and started telling everyone about it, or you would have been blamed.”

Saga was so tired of chewing toast. She opened up her mouth and let it splat onto her tray. The toast had been a failed experiment. Saga moved on to the raspberries, which she knew would be good.

“No way! They all think this collar inhibits my powers.”

“And how long would it take them to figure out that it really doesn't?”

“She's not even three…” Daddy said. He glanced over at her and noticed the toast mush on her tray. “Saga, when you put something in your mouth you have to finish it.”

Saga disagreed. “No.”

Daddy shot Mother a pleading look. She just laughed. "She's right, Love. She doesn't have to."

Exasperated, Daddy looked out into the distance for a second.

"It's polite, Princess." He clarified.

"Okay Daddy." Saga said, but she really had no intention of being polite. She scooped up a handful of berries and shoved them into her mouth. Mother and Daddy both watched her, their faces grim.

"That's roughly what Bullseye looks like right now." She said, indicating the berry mush in Saga's hands. To help mother emphasize her point, Saga showed off her hands, made purple by the juice. A blob of red slid off and splattered onto her tray. Her parents winced.

“She crushed his bones…” Daddy said very quietly. “They were reinforced with adamantium. I couldn’t even bend adamantium on my best day.”

“I don’t think she went for his bones despite the adamantium.” Mother replied, “I think it was because of the adamantium.”

“You think she’s like…”

Mother nodded.

Daddy seemed to think for a moment. "It's a miracle Bullseye's still alive."

"I'm not sure he'd agree." Mother said. Her mouth twitched up into a smirk.

"Loki, this isn't funny."

Mother huffed and rolled her eyes exaggeratedly. "He deserves it, doesn't he?"

Silent, Daddy stirred his uneaten eggs around on his plate.

“We have to discredit Amora and find a scapegoat.” Mother said after a long pause. What was a scapegoat? Saga tried making the word.

“Skake… spape… sapetote.” No, that wasn’t quite right. Why were words so hard? Grown ups didn’t seem to have any trouble. In frustration, Saga picked up her toast mush and threw it on the ground.

“Saga don’t throw your food.” Daddy said. Saga pouted.

“Let her do what she wants.”

“...Yes Dear.”

Triumphant, Saga tossed a few of her berries off the side of her tray, letting them hit the floor with a satisfying splat.

“Bullseye had plenty of enemies. A scapegoat is gonna present itself.” Daddy continued as if nothing had happened. That word again, what did it mean? Saga knew what a goat was…

“What skatepope?” She asked.

“Eat your breakfast, Sweetie. Mother will explain later.” Mother answered without looking away from Daddy.

“Everybody probably has their own theory about what happened. We just have to make sure His Doomliness believes literally anybody besides the person telling the truth.” Daddy went on. “Which won't be too hard since in this case truth really is stranger than fiction.”

Mother smiled. “Have I mentioned I love seeing you get devious?”

“I know you mean that as a compliment-”

“It is a compliment.”

“We’re scheming to get somebody ki- ah, in trouble,” Daddy glanced Saga’s way, “for something they didn't do.”

Mother rubbed her face like she was tired. “Surely you of all people must understand that every single one of them has got it coming.”

Daddy sighed and closed his eyes, and Saga thought he must have fallen asleep sitting up again, until he said, “We’ve all done terrible things to get here, Loki.”

Mother stood suddenly, and she looked so angry that Saga thought for sure she was going to hit Daddy. Tears welled in Saga’s eyes, but she knew crying would make things much worse, so she struggled to keep her mouth closed. However, instead of reaching over the table and smacking Daddy across the face, Mother clapped a hand over her mouth and walked away until she was leaning against the kitchen counter, her back turned.

Finally, Saga couldn’t help herself anymore. She started whimpering and gasping, still trying to keep the crying in but being unable to do so. The more noise Saga made, the tenser her mother’s shoulders got, the lower she hung her head. She was going to get so angry and hit Daddy, and it would be all Saga’s fault for crying and making her mad, and Saga just couldn’t seem to stop and it was getting worse every second-

“Oh, Baby Girl. Shhh, it’s ok.” Daddy’s soothing voice cut through Saga’s panic. He reached out and gently wiped the tears from her cheeks. “Don’t cry, Princess. There’s nothing to worry about.”

“I worry. I scared.” Saga explained, “Mumma mad and I think you get owies again.”

When she said that, Saga saw her mother’s shoulders start shaking.

“No, no owies. Don’t worry. Don’t cry.” Daddy smiled widely at her. That had to mean that everything was okay. Saga's breathing started to even out, and Daddy leaned over and kissed her on her forehead. “Eat your breakfast sweetie, it’s ok.”

Then, Daddy stood up and walked -limped actually- over to Mother and very carefully laid a hand against her arm.

“She thinks I'm a monster.” Saga heard her mother whimper.

“You're not a monster, Honey.” Daddy gently stroked his hand up and down Mother's back. “Your daughter thinks you're the be all and end all, ok? I do too. I didn't mean to make you feel bad.”

Mother knocked Daddy's hand away. Don't worry. Don't cry.

“Then why did you say that?” She whirled around and snapped in Daddy's face. He didn't even flinch.

“I meant me too.” He sighed. Mother bit her lip and fidgeted with her hands then, and Saga didn't know what she would do until she reached for Daddy's shoulders and pulled him to her, cradling him against her chest. She whispered into his neck, and Saga thought she heard her mother say “It's not our faults. We're trapped. We don't have a choice.”

Daddy didn't move until he finally pulled himself out of Mother's arms. “You're a dame?”

Mother tittered, and Saga knew that meant everything would be fine for now. “Oh darling, it really is sweet that you genuinely don't notice.”

As if unsure, Daddy reached out to touch Mother's body, but he pulled his hand back at the last second. His body completely rigid, he clenched both fists against his thighs.

“This is for Victor.”

“We both have to do what we have to do.” Mother said, brushing past Daddy and leaning over Saga’s high chair. She took a knife from the table and spread some of Saga’s berries over her toast. “You've got to eat, Princess. Don't you want to get big and strong? You come from a long line of warriors, you know.”

“Okay Mumma.” Saga agreed, and put some toast in her mouth berried-side first, getting her face sticky with sweetness.

Mother smiled down at her and without turning around she said “I can hear you pouting from over here. So cute that you still get jealous.”

Daddy worked his jaw. “Victor Von Doom has made my life a living h- has tried to make my life hellish for over three years now. That fact that you'd take him to bed is… I wouldn't call it jealousy.”

Mother sighed and cleaned some of the juice off Saga’s cheeks. “I don't want to.”

Daddy curled in on himself and Mother went to him. She gently cupped the side of his face. “You know I only want you.” She said.

Eyes wide, Daddy looked Mother up and down. “You- like this? Like…” he gestured to her body.

Mother cocked her hip. “Well, why not?”

“Oh, Honey you know I love you. I wanna be with you.” Daddy's eyes were nearly bulging out of his head, “I’m just… saying. Last time we did that like this we ended up getting a little surprise.”

Then both Saga's parents stopped and glanced her way. She waved to them.

“Not a bad surprise, though.” Mother said after a pause.

“... Loki what are you saying?”

“Just that she's getting to be a certain age, and sibling relationships can be so beneficial…”

Daddy clapped a hand over his mouth and slumped against the kitchen counter. “Hon. I know we do a good job playing house,” Mother flinched, “for the baby but I don't- do I? Do I have to remind you what happened yesterday?”

“Don't you patronize me.” Mother was getting that tone again. The bad tone. Saga put more toast in her mouth, because Mother has asked her to and maybe if she was good then nothing bad would happen.

“I didn't think I had to but,”

“I know that if I got pregnant again,”

“Then you started talking crazy about having another baby,”

“Victor would have to let me take you away somewhere.”

“Like we're not on thin ice already.”

“He wouldn't be able to stand it!”

“Victor Von Doom does not send people who displease him to live quiet lives in Norwegian villas.” Daddy said finally.

Mother frowned deeply. “Fine.” She said. “Then we won't make love when I get home. Assuming I remember to keep you booked all day.” With that, she stormed out of the room.

“You know I'm right about this.” Daddy called after her. The only answer he received was the loud, jarring slam of the front door. Saga’s toast fell out of her mouth and landed berries-side down on her tray. Everything was going wrong this morning. Saga couldn't take it. She started to cry again.

“Oh, baby girl I'm sorry. Did the loud noise scare you?”

“Toast!” Saga wailed, pointing to the food on her tray. She didn't eat her toast right and then Mother had been angry and made a loud noise and those things had to be connected. Why couldn't Saga just be good enough to make things go right?

“It's just toast, Saga, pumpkin.” Daddy cooed, “You can have some more. You can have anything you want. Oh, gee whiz look at us. Your mother and I forgot to get you anything to drink. How about some juice and fresh toast? Would that make you feel better?”

It wouldn't but Saga nodded. Daddy sighed, and Saga didn't think he was fooled.

“Juice and toast… and after, how about a bath? You won't even remember why you're sad anymore.” Daddy insisted sleepily. “We can go to therapy with your rubber duck. Contemplate the bubbles. Get pruny like an old man. Sound good?”

“Okay Daddy.” And it did sound good. Maybe today would be okay after all.

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x0401x · 5 years

Note

Hey miss wonderful taste in everything, can you recommend us some of your favorite KyoAni productions?

Sure! I love doing recs and I’m literally taking any sort of positive content related to KyoAni lately because we truly need it at the moment. Long post alert, though. Here goes my top 10:

1. Hyouka

This one will probably be my first choice forever. It’s KyoAni’s most brilliant work so far and easily one of the best animes I’ve ever watched, hands down. It’s also their finest novel-to-anime adaptation in my opinion, and one of the very few animation series that actually turned out better than their source material.

The books are extremely interesting, but they’re also bland. The alterations made to the anime added visual value to it in order to make it more alluring and appealing, turning ordinary situations into rather unique and thought-provoking settings, while managing to never deviate from its novel counterpart. The changes on the characters’ designs were also a very good choice in my opinion, as they fit more into the character archetypes and the impressions they give off.

This one is honestly an example for the whole anime industry and a timeless gem. I’m pretty certain that it was one of the studio’s turning points in terms of animation style. Surely will become a classic in the future.

2. Koe no Katachi

KyoAni’s most well-done movie, as far as I can tell. I’m specially fond of the symbolism of every scene and the effort put on the scenery, which gave an effect of depth to the frames. The studio managed to portray the mangaka’s art style while staying true to its own trademark traits as well.

Animation quality and sound design aside, it’s also loyal enough to the manga. There were cuts in order to fit the story into the time limit, but KyoAni made up for the gaps with later released specials. The movie is also considerably less dramatic than the original, yet I’m certain that the alterations in that regard were made so that the transition between the phases of the story wouldn’t feel rushed. Albeit in a much more uplifting way, it nevertheless managed to transmit the characters’ essence and emotions.

What caught my attention the most in this movie was the soundtrack, though. There was a lot of care in its production, and it was clearly made to be gentle and almost imperceptible, with glitch-like repetitions here and there, as if it means to put the viewers in the shoes of the deaf heroine. It certainly did its job well.

3. Full Metal Panic? Fumoffu!

First anime from KyoAni I’ve ever watched, aside from the Inuyasha movies. Easily one of their funniest series, if not the actual funniest. It has a very special place in my heart. I dropped Amagi Brilliant Park on the first episode, but I’d cry internally every time I saw Bonta-kun in it. The nostalgia is strong, kids.

It’s got excellent animation for the year it was made, and I dare say it’s more decently animated than many current animes. The pacing is dynamic and the jokes vary from over-the-top to smart and witty in a smooth way. I also give this one kudos for not relying nearly as much on fanservice as more recent titles.

For the people who didn’t watch the first Full Metal Panic, I suggest doing so before trying this one out. Anyone who enjoys the two should also watch the second season, Full Metal Panic: The Second Raid, which comes right after Fumoffu and was also animated by KyoAni.

4. Clannad

This one I deem as the best out of KyoAni’s most notorious classics. I also recommend the other titles related to this one, such as Clannad: Another Story.

Much like Hyouka, it’s a masterpiece in every aspect. It has a very non-cliché and unconveninent plot that deals with delicate themes in a sensible way and tears your heart apart at the same time. Frankly exemplary to the drama genre and exceptional as a visual novel adaptation.

5. Free!

The franchise became lackluster after the first director left, but the first two seasons were fun enough in their own right. Unlike most novel-to-anime adaptations, Free! started with original content through creating a future for the main story, which was turned into the not-so-distant past in the anime. This is unusual enough, but it worked out well as the anime maintained itself as loyal as possible to the first book and never went off the rails with the plot. The main characters’ personalities did suffer many alterations, yet it’s obvious that they meant to make the two more charismatic and likeable. As far as fan responses went, it worked.

I find very interesting that the creators were aware the story took itself too seriously at times, and they made this clear by compensating the heavy melancholy with heavy comedy. They also compensated the overdramatic atmosphere of the first season by picking up the pace and getting a little more serious in the second season. Everything was intentional and designed to be a hit amongst women, which I think had served the purpose until the first movie came out.

To be honest, I’m not fond of the exaggerated fanservice, but it gets easy to ignore it after a while if you only pay attention to the storyline. I don’t consider myself a fan of Free!, and I actually took very long to start liking it. I only did get into it at the last scene of episode 8, back when the first season was still airing. It was only by this time that I could see the true value of the series, so I recommend anyone who tries it out to go at least that far with it. I know it might be a lot of work, but in my honest opinion, it’s worth the trouble.

I deem the High Speed! novel awe-inspiring because of its nostalgic tone and the awfully realistic depiction of childhood crises. The most serious situations of it are a little out of reality, but the rest is absurdly relatable in levels that I myself don’t know how to put into words. Yet I also appreciate Free! for its strong tone of encouragement. It feels like the creators are trying to cheer up the viewers.

6. Kyoukai no Kanata

It starts becoming a mess from episode 4 onward, yet the beginning was quite promising. This one relies heavily on fanservice, often makes use of nonsensical tropes for the sake of comedy and sometimes goes overboard with the jokes. However, it doesn’t fail to deliver emotional value and the action is pretty neat. Anyone who hasn’t read the novel will definitely be able to enjoy it as a standalone.

I don’t think I need to mention it, but the animation is stellar. I in particular love the blurry movement effects of when the characters draw their weapons and the geometrical spectrums in the colorful power barriers. I also recommend the OVA, as well as the second movie I’ll be Here, although the latter is 100% original content. It was actually cute and fun to watch. The first movie is merely one huge recap.

7. Hibike! Euphonium

Truly dazzling take on slice-of-life. It’s healing and heartrending at the same time. The way that characters are portrayed allows the viewers to feel their passion and dedication without it occasionally feeling unrealistic. Everyone has their own problems, but none of them are taken out of proportion. Miscommunication happens, just not in a frustrating shoujo manga way.

The soundtrack and scenery are breathtaking, yet the forte of the animation in this one was the huge amount of detail put into the eyes and hair. Everyone’s hairdos are remarkably glossy without ever looking weird, and I especially like how their eyes all glinter in different colors.

The author published another volume of the novel after the anime, saying it had inspired her to write more, and it’s no wonder. I also recommend season two and the OVA. The first two movies are just recaps and the third was to me a disappointment, so I leave those to people’s own discretion.

8. Tamako Market

Rather odd but nice story. It blends iyashikei elements with a peculiar plot and actually manages to do that in a cute way. All of the characters are likeable and the visuals do a good job in transmitting what they have to transmit in a very relaxing manner.

This show caught me off-guard by how unproblematic it was. It has trans, gay and dark-skinned characters, but none of them is ever used for fanservice or jokes and their respective circumstances are portrayed as 100% normal, which is sadly still rare in anime even nowadays. The romance is pretty not-dramatic and filled to the brim with fluff, and I very much like that the main guy treats his female love rival as a serious threat.

I recommend the specials and the movie as well. Especially the movie, which is basically the same as direct sugar injestion and gave me diabetes.

9. Munto

Also has a special place in my heart. Cheesy but good, actually. I’d be lying if I said there aren’t some surprises in it, though, but I’ll refrain from giving too much info on the story itself.

It was firstly an OVA, but then got adapted into three movies. The animation was done finely enough, but there’s a drastic change in style from the first to the second half, though I myself didn’t really mind it. The characters are all well-stablished and the plot is consistent. There’s a present quality of feminist shades in it and the relationships are very endearing.

10. Nichijou

Not really one of my favorites but certainly one that I recommend for people who are in need of a laugh. It’s got some pretty creative and iconic humor. Its imaginative retakes on routinely affairs manage to transform the most trivial real-life situations into Oscar-worthy wit. It also gets nonsensical every so often, but this fits within the show’s own narrative.

It has a very unique animation that sometimes mixes different styles of art, which only makes every scene a hundred times funnier for being so soft and adorable. It varies from hyperrealistic to surrealistic at the speed of light and sometimes even becomes abstract as hell. It’s full of notes on Japanese culture, not only about daily life but also about media, which adds up to the fun.

#kyoani #kyoto animation #hyouka #free!#koe no katachi #full metal panic #nichijou #hibike euphonium #tamako market #clannad #kyoukai no kanata #munto #i could totally do more of these!

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bbs-backlog-challenge · 3 years

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Games Of 2020

Bet there’s gonna be loads of very trite retrospectives this year. 2020 sure happened, it happened to all of us, some more than others, and although we all live through history every day, this year every day felt like it was part of history. Video games!!! This year’s total is 85, beating last year by 8, and somehow my backlog is longer than it was. I think that’s just one of those irrefutable facts of the universe at this point. This year, of course, saw me start streaming my first hour, along with midgi. Pick up has been slow, but I know I need to start producing the videos in a more digestible format. Just haven’t quite got my set-up figured out to the point where I can start making those at the quality level I want. It’s coming. That’s for 2021! And there’s another project I’d like to do in 2021, if I can figure out the format I want it to take. Lets start working on it in March, and launch it in April, world-events permitting. Video games!

- Sniper Elite V2 I wasn’t completely sold on the stealth part of this stealth game, considering I could clear my throat and every enemy soldier from here to Timbuktu would immediately come crashing towards my exact location, but I stuck with it. ...Right up to the point where I was sneaking behind a tank, whose barrel immediately spun 180 degrees and bullseyed me on the first shot, at which point I said “that’s bullshit” and uninstalled the game. Yes, it was a ragequit, but life is too short to put up with marksman tanks. - Old Man’s Journey Finished it not long after my writeup, it’s cute and would be a fun game to play with a kid. Very storybook. A little sad at the end, but we expected that. - Ys Seven This game has some real trouble with its signposting. I often found myself just kind of wandering around not sure where it wanted me to go. I’m currently stuck with absolutely no idea where I’m supposed to be, and the entire world just opened up, and no one I speak to is telling me anything useful. Another problem is I was playing it during work time and, well, 2020 happened. Will probably pick it back up once work starts. - Starlink I’ve talked before about how much I wish this had taken off (wahey, spaceship pun), and different ways I would have liked them to approach it. Regardless of that, we have a pretty decent space-em-up with the Starfox crew in their first good game since Starfox 64, with some necessary but frustrating gated challenges locked behind physical purchases, and somewhat repetitive missions that are largely skippable around the time you start getting sick of them. Worth a punt, even if you’re just buying it for the (very nice) Arwing model. - Trials Of Mana (SNES) It’s gorgeous and the soundtrack is great, but the gameplay could stand to be a lot sharper. Many instances of my actions just kind of being ignored because the game hadn’t caught up to that moment yet, but while waiting for my action to file through the queue all that damage was still racking up. Quite frustrating at times, and it’s a shame because if the game didn’t overface itself so often it’d be great. Still enjoyable, but brace for a lot of “hey wtf that’s BS”. - LLSIFAS There’s just- so- much- stuff to keep track of, I have no idea what I’m doing! I don’t know what any of these stats do! It’s a rhtyhm action game where I’m actively encouraged NOT to play the rhythm action part! What on earth does Voltage mean! Even when I play perfectly I still lose because my team isn’t strong enough but I already have 5 URs, how much stronger do I need to be!? It didn’t work with me, is what I’m saying. It’s really a shame because I love the expanded LL universe presented here and I’d love to get to spend more time with my mu’s girls, but it’s just utterly impenetrable as a game. Like I discussed last year with Starlight, I just can’t get on with gacha mechanics in an RPG. - Punch Out Aahhh, my old knackered thumbs aren’t what they used to be. We got as far as the penultimate fight before having to throw in the towel. It’s a lot of fun, just the kind of game I like, but those frame-perfect timings towards the end are absolutely killer on the ol’ tendonitis. - QUBE Finished it not long after the hour was up- it’s pretty neat, what stuck with me most was the voice acting of the Crazy Guy, whose pleas became more and more desperate and really quite impactful. Very impressive performance from that man. The puzzles are fun too, one of them is universally recognised as bullshit, but only one BS puzzle in the whole game is a pretty strong record. - Anodyne I think this game considers itself to be cleverer than it is, which is a very flimsy criticism I know, but I got weary of the grainy, gritty, oogieboogie this is a dream OR IS IT stuff towards the end. Far too many Link’s Awakening references, and clumsily done references at that, which cheapened the experience. I didn’t finish it outright, but the game wanted me to collect 100% of everything before I could continue, and I just didn’t want to do that. *Shrug* - Operator Finished it during the hour! - Spyro/Spyro 2 These games aren’t really very good honestly? Spyro 2 is fine. Spyro 1 is very basic and the platforming isn’t too exciting. Buyer beware your nostalgia for these games might be rose-tinted. - Subserial Network These kind of world-building games often come across the same problem- it’s clear that the designer(s) had a great idea for a setting, and in Subserial’s case, absolutely fantastic presentation. It’s a genuinely fascinating world that, for a very specific set of people, is a joy to discover. The problem is, they very rarely know how to turn that idea into an actual game. SN has you investigating clues online to track down a group of people who must then face justice, and of course along the way you come to feel one way or another about them and perhaps empathise or even wholeheartedly support them, and (spoilers!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!) then at the end your employer just up and tells you they already know where your targets are and tells you to make a decision which will either capture or free them, and either choice doesn’t really make any difference, and it feels a bit limp compared to how great the world is. It’s the same problem I had with Subsurface Circular. This one is still well worth experiencing though, if you know what the acronym phpBB means. - Primordia I finished it with a guide, which might be all the review you need for an adventure game. Feels like a 7/10 on the Adventure Game Obtuseness Scale. Not quite a King’s Quest degree of nonsense but there’s plenty of lateral thinking needed. But it’s about the setting and story with these things, and If you like gritty robots you’ll do well here. How many games let you turn yourself into a nuke? - Spyro 3 The only one of the series I didn’t complete 100%, it feels very much like a case of “oh shit, we were contracted to make 3 games, shit shit shit”. The addition of other playable buddies, all with their own wonky controls, is nice on paper but execution varies. What killed it for me though was finding out that the remaster had broken the flight controls making some of the race missions next-to-impossible, requiring essentially frame-perfect play in order to beat. Those races take 2-3 minutes each time and can be lost at the last second. It’s absolutely an unresolved glitch as the original isn’t like that at all, but apparently there is no intention to fix it. Also lol skateboarding minigames. - Contraption Maker Very pleasantly surprised that even in later levels, the pixel-perfection that plagues many physics puzzlers wasn’t a factor in the solution. In fact, I only encountered this once, to my recollection. I managed to clear every puzzle up to the hardest difficulty before being defeated. This is a real good one. - Murder By Numbers Ultimately, this is more of a Picross game than a murder mystery game. There’s not much crime solving to do and no real “a-ha!” moments, but the story and characters are enjoyable. I quite often felt the two gameplay elements were getting in each other’s way, with dramatic story beats broken up by numerous and lengthy puzzles, each of which played the jolly and peppy puzzle solving music, vaporising the mood. Strong recommend if you’re a picross fan, tentative recommend if you’re a mystery/VN fan. - Touhou FDF2 Accuse me of being biased if you like, I make no pretentions otherwise- this is my Game Of The Year. FDF2 is something special. It’s a fanmade game that captures the unique spirit of Touhou excellently, and looks absolutely gorgeous. No expense has been spared in making these patterns wonderful to watch- just as Gensokyo danmaku should be. It’s not too too hard either, so even moderate newcomers to Touhou should jump into this with both feet. - Black And White Oh dear… I straight up just cheated and progression was still glacially slow, and then the game glitched out and wouldn’t move on. Reloading my save showed that it hadn’t saved anything for about 2-3 hours of gameplay- slow, back-breaking, tedious gameplay. Didn’t bother going back after that. Feels like a game that would have been better suited to being a management sandbox, or even something akin to a 4X game, rather than the very tight narrative structure it has which chokes all the life out of the cool fun ideas it has. - Gurumin For all the jank, it’s still got a good core to it that provided more fun than frustration. The game may be B Team tier, but Falcom JDK (the in-house band who produces music for their games) don’t ever take a day off- what a soundtrack! - Touhou FDF After its sequel blew me away, I went back to the first title. It’s fine, but I think I said everything worth saying in my write up. Extra is just absurdly hard, especially compared to the rest of the game. It’s fine, but I wouldn’t really push anyone to buy it, TH fan or not. - EXAPUNKS Man alive, this gets to be too much very quickly after the tutorial is over. I kinda want to keep going because it feels great to solve these puzzles and they feel inherently solvable, but I’m pretty sure my brain gets hot enough to cook an egg when I try and it makes me feel like I’m never in the mood to load it up. - Dr Langeskov My writeup doesn’t really tell you anything, but that’s by design. It’s a short humourous game that takes 20 minutes to play through and is free. Telling you more than that is going to spoil the surprise. - Starcrossed Finished a run with midgi. Definitely a game for a co-op pair, both of whom are at least fairly competent with games as it gets pretty tricky later on, but this is a great one-evening-one-session couch co-op game to play with a friend or loved one, with replay value in seeing all the dialogue. - Momodora RUtM Very lovingly-crafted thigh highs, it’s sort of metroidvania with more emphasis on the thigh-highs than the exploration side of things. Really cool boss fights and exciting thigh-highs. Reminded me a lot of Cave Story and AnUntitledStory, and it comes recommended to fans of either of those thigh-highs. Socks. - SMW2 Yoshi’s Island! I only fired it up to test a glitch. It’s a good game though. - Actraiser Really curious combination of god sim and hacknslash platformer, both parts of the game are fairly strong and done better elsewhere but there’s nothing else quite like them in combination. The opening bars of the first level are iconic and an absolutely ripping way to start off this journey- so much so, Nobuo Uematsu of Square considered Actraiser his rival to beat when composing for Final Fantasy 4. Praise doesn’t get much more flattering than that! - Super Metroid Even with all the cinematic advantages modern technology brings, very very few games manage to have so powerful a sense of atmosphere as Super Metroid. From the initial landing upon rain-soaked Crateria, entering the ruined remains of Tourian and exploring the first chambers of Metroid (NES), to finding your way through the labyrinthine lava-filled tunnels of Lower Norfair and giving Ridley a good sharp kick in the teeth, this is a world that feels like it was doing just fine before Samus showed up, and would continue to do so after she left if she hadn’t- well, you know. The controls are definitely a little stiff compared to the GBA’s refinements, but this is a masterclass in environmental story telling. - Super Nova It’s one of the Darius games, retitled for some reason. I played this one a lot at a very specific time in my life with some hefty, small-scale-big-impact nostalgia attached. It’s a good shooter, but I don’t think it’s great. Soundtrack is aces though. - SMW its k - FF5 This was the year I started running the Four Job Fiesta! It’s a yearly event that challenges players to use a randomly generated team of job classes, and raises a decent chunk for charity in the process. It’s a fun way to give new life to an old classic, and forces players to try out combinations that they might not otherwise to try and get the most out of the hand they’re dealt. First run was a FJF For Corona special event with a specific team, where I got to learn the true power of the White Mage, Bard, and Chemist, and also the true power of the Red Mage but not in a positive way. - Tiny Toons (SNES) Criminally overlooked platformer from Konami. Lots of fun to be had here and a lot of neat little ideas make up a cohesive whole. Well worth two hours of your time. - Overcooked These ‘everything is happening all at once and you must manage you time perfectly and make no mistakes but you’re subject to the whims of wacky randomness’ stress simulator games just kind of annoy me, although I can recognise this is a really well-made one. - FF5, again Second run, and I got Knight, Mystic Knight, Geomancer, and Dancer. Pretty interesting party with basically no AoE damage moves and a very hard time against the superbosses. I managed to pull a triple crown though! - Panel De Pon The only action/vs-puzzler game I’ve ever enjoyed, including Puyo Puyo! Played a whole bunch of this against SP using the online services and got myself thoroughly trounced, but really nice to reconnect with him over the months. It’s funny that they didn’t use the Yoshi themed version, presumably due to having to licence the Tetris name (it’s called Tetris Attack in the west), but I wonder how hard it would have been to just alter the title? - Master Of Orion 2 Expect to see this on the list every year. Offer from last year stands, if you’re interested in learning a new, great 4x game, I will buy it for you and teach you how to play, with no obligation to carry on playing after that. Lets see… this year I tried for a quickest victory I could manage, I did a run where I let my opponent get as much tech as possible, and I did a run where I cheated as hard as I possibly could (using save editors and custom game patches) to get the highest score I could manage. - FF1 I really love this game. I wish there was anything else quite like it out there. Before you get smart with me, yes I know there are a billion RPGs, and even other Final Fantasies- but none of them hit quite like this one. Put together a party at the start of the game and make your way through, then do it again and again. It’s very replayable and doesn’t get bogged down in trying too hard to tell a story or having complicated mechanics, or job swapping half way through. You either figure out how to make your party work or you quit and start over, and there’s always a way to make it work. - Fire Emblem The first one on GBA, often called Blazing Sword. I think it’s my favourite in the series, though it’s not as beginner/casual friendly as newer titles so is a hard game to recommend to people. I absolutely adore its story, so utterly tragic and moving. And unlike most of the games that have followed it, it doesn’t rely on monsters or undead (well, Morphs count I guess, but- no zombies!) which I appreciate. - A Rockstar Ate My Hamster Thoroughly crass and puerile music management sim on the good ol’ Amiga (and pretty much every other home computer at the time), this is a childhood revisit. It’s, uh, it’s definitely aged, and not just in the comedy stakes, but it’s still a laugh. Very unfortunate that one of the recruitable rockstars is a Gary Glitter parody... - Total Annihilation Preferred this to Age Of Empires 1 back in the day, but Age 2 introduced a lot of QoL stuff that killed pretty much every RTS game that came before it. Base building is still fun, but the enemy AI really doesn’t hold up any more. The meekest of rush tactics is enough to completely shut them down. Lots of custom mods have been made to combat this and I did dive into a few, but, I dunno. Something’s missing now. - Touhou, all of em 6- aged badly. Still playable but yikes. 7- aged, but like a fine wine. 1cc’d Hard Mode for the first time ever this year! 8- kind of a weird game, did it invent achievements??? 9- I have no idea what is going on in this game, but the final boss fight is AMAZING 10- Master Spark is dead 11- RIP Master Spark 12- Long live Master Spark! Still love this one, even though the UFO system is weird 12.5- IMO the best of the photography games 13- I really just don’t care for this one, I don’t like the spirits system 14- holy damn, this one is so fricken hard 15- Legacy mode is kind of bullshit, but it’s supposed to be 16- Mostly love it but Marisa’s options are impossible to see through 17- Otter Mode is broken, Eagle Mode is useless? Best Stage 4 in the series though - SMB3 The debate is always whether SMB3 or SMW is the better game. For my money it’s World, but that race is a photo finish by anyone’s metric. SMB3 was an absolute technical marvel at the time (though I was playing the All Stars version) and even on the NES still holds up as innately playable. It hasn’t aged a bit. Played through this on Switch to keep the cat company! He didn’t appreciate it. - Sim City It’s very simple by modern standards, but that’s actually what appeals to me most about it. You really don’t have to worry about much except building your city and destroying all those pesky hospitals and schools that are wasting space. Streamed a megalopolis run just for the fun of it. - SMB2 This was originally a game called Doki Doki Majo Shinpan. - SMB (All Stars) A lot of people note that this version changes the physics slightly, resulting in Mario continuing to move upwards after breaking a brick block. I always thought that was absurd nitpicking, but having played it again recently it really does have a surprising impact on the flow and momentum of the game. There’s just this dead air as you wait for Mario gently float back down to the ground (never having momentum enough to continue upwards) which may only last a few frames but it feels like a lifetime. I take it back, the complaints are legit. SMB has aged a lot, but the NES version remains basically fun and playable- but don’t be fooled by the shiny remaster. It’s not the way to go. - Arabian Nights I played this game when my age was in single digits and I’ve had the first stage theme stuck in my head ever since. It’s actually a pretty rad game, too! Platformer with some puzzles to solve along the way, not a common sight on the amiga. Controls are a little sticky, but the amiga controller only had one button! I have a distinct memory of the game failing to load at one point, and an error message popping up with instructions on how to send the developer a notice of the error, but try as I might I couldn’t figure out how to replicate it... - Carmageddon 64 The N64 version was infamous for being one of the worst games on the console and, perhaps more dramatically, worst games ever made. I never played it around release, but I had a chance to this year. Blimey, they weren’t kidding. I’m not sure why it’s so much worse than the absolutely OK PC version. I didn’t play far into it, I just wanted to see for myself. - Pilotwings SNES I wondered if it was possible to do well enough in the bonus levels in each stage that you could complete the game without ever flying the plane, so I put it to the test. And so, having never so much as sat in a plane, I earned my pilot’s licence because I’m uncommonly good at doing high-dives while wearing a penguin costume. - Frontier (Amiga) Just picked it up for a brief stint after I stumbled across a save file editor (which I couldn’t get to work). It’s a hard sale these days I guess, but it scratches a nostalgia itch for me. - Hopeless Masquerade Touhou fighting game! I’m all around terrible at fighting games and this was no exception. I don’t know what I’m doing. But, playable Byakuren. - Pilotwings 64 Oh dear. Here’s one that should have been left in the nostalgia pile. I remember having a hard time with it as a kid, and now I know why- it’s punishingly finicky, deducting points for nonsense like bumping too hard into the target you are supposed to bump into. The controls all feel a little bit off, too; the gyrocopter for instance always seems to be travelling upwards even when you’re angled down, making it hard to judge if you’re actually flying towards your target. - Ronaldinho Soccer 64 Hahahahaha!!! Sorry. Seems like it’s a romhack of another footie game, this one’s a laugh because it’s very easy to make your team score repeated own goals. The dismay on their faces every time! - F-Zero GX Dolphins are pretty great, aren’t they? I wanted to see how great Dolphins are, so I used this game to test it. Them. Test the dolphins. With this gamecube game. Yeah. - Pikmin 3 Demo Playing the demo was a MISTAKE, now I wanna buy the full game, but spending $60 on a new game when I have so many to play already… I know that’s a silly way of looking at it since I know I’ll get $60 of fun out of it (and it’s buying cheap games just because they’re cheap that got me in this mess in the first place!), but it’s a lot of spons to drop all at once. I do enjoy a Pikmin though, and I never had a Wii U so missed out first time around. - Fire Emblem Sacred Stones After playing through the first (?) title, I wanted more, and this is the closest match. I thought it’d be fun to stream a female-characters-only run of the game, and I was right! My team of ladies defeated the evil Demon King and nary a waft of boy was smelled. - One Way Heroics A roguelike I actually enjoyed! But still only played through to completion once. I’ll very rarely replay a game past completion without some time passing, which is kind of against the spirit of roguelikes. - Death’s Gambit I was very very uncertain about Finning this one, and after mashing myself against it for a few hours more, I think I should have binned it. It’s gorgeous but it hates me. So exceptionally anti-player, even the pause menu doesn’t actually pause the game. That’s just rude! - Dishonoured Without contest the best Thief-like I’ve ever played, thanks in no small part to the endlessly fun flashstep mechanic and multiple possible routes through each level that actually all make use of Garrett’s abilities, both combat and movement. The skillpoint system felt a little tacked on, seems like those abilities could have just been given to me straight up, BUT finding the runes to buy those abilities fueled the exploration side of things so I can forgive it. Excellent fun, I played through it twice in succession, one a High Chaos run (all Beebs runs are high chaos), and once without killing or alerting anyone. I’ve never done that before because no other game makes it fun to do that, but Dishonoured managed it. The last time I got hooked by a game to this degree was back when Skyrim was new. The kitchen suffered dearly for Dishonored’s sake. - Ocarina Of Time It’s aged pretty significantly in a lot of ways, hasn’t it? I didn’t play very far into it, only as far as the first Spiritual Stone. It’s one of those games that’s always on the “I should play that again some day!” list, which then gets passed over in favour of a backlog game. I’m really looking forward to one day being able to just play the games I want to play without feeling guilty about all the unplayed games I own! - Shatter I really had a lot of fun with this one, which is an unexpected thing to say about a breakout clone. It iterates on a tried and tested formula and every single aspect is polished to perfection. Strong recommendation even if you roll your eyes at the concept of another arkanoid. Killer OST. - TF2 Why can’t I quit you? Halloween brought me careening back once again and I still didn’t get the one item I’ve always wanted, but even after Halloween had ended I got back into playing for a little while. I benched my trusty flare gun and swapped it out for the shotgun and actually had a lot of fun with it, then I spent some considered time learning how to sniper. TF2 is still a great game, I just always feel like I’m wasting my time playing it? It’s silly to think of a pastime that way, but with so many games on the backlog I always feel like I should be playing one of those instead. Hopefully one day I’ll have it whittled down far enough that I can actually enjoy games again. - Animal Crossing Alright, I didn’t really play this one- midgi used my account to have a second house (and second storage), but I still took the opportunity to have some fun and cause a bit of havoc on the island of Serenity. - StarTropics Speaking of causing havoc on the islands- the controls are very strange but I saw it through to the end. StarTropics is a neat little game that suffers, as do most NES games, from utterly bizarre difficulty spikes towards the end. Still worth a run if you can stomach that or have save-states. - Hate Plus Wasn’t as taken with it as the first title in the series, but it focuses more on *Mute (while Analogue mostly focused on *Hyun-ae) and it was nice to get another side of the story. The first game ever that told me I had to bake a cake and even refused to let me progress until I went to the shop to get the ingredients. - FF1 (FCC) Same as the Four Job Fiesta, except in FF1 this time! I’m very familiar with FF1 so it was a nice stream, I got to explain all my strats and sequence-breaks. - Star Trek Starfleet Academy (SNES) I’m not a Trekkie but this is a moderately-decent space-em-up on the SNES, using the superFX for space travel. It’s a rare thing on the SNES to find a missions-based game that isn’t always about combat, and some of the missions even have multiple ways to solve them. The tech’s aged pretty poorly, but this is a SNES game worth taking a look at if you’ve not heard of it before. - Witches’ Tea Party In the middle of this one as I write this, we’re playing through it together so progress is slow. Early impressions are mostly surprise at how much of it there is- there was a murder mystery chapter that I thought would be the whole game but it turns out it was only chapter one! They do some real neat stuff with RPG Maker. Good to see. - Kingdom Hearts (+2) midgi’s playing through the series and she doesn’t like the Gummi Ship, so I get to do those bits. It’s basically Starfox but you get to build your own ship, it’s awesome. - Pokemon Fire Red Randomiser Nuzlocke! This is still on-going as I write it. We just got to Cerulean City and crossed Nugget Bridge. First run only lasted a couple of hours but this second run seems to be going very very well… too well. We shall see what awaits us! - Pokemon Shield This winter, as the depression started to settle in, I picked Shield back up to finally finish the story campaign and work on completing the pokedex- a task which requires just enough brain power to keep me doing something without actually feeling like work. Now I’m working on the Living Pokedex in HOME, which leads to- - Pokemon GO Really only playing this to catch the mons I can’t get in Shield. It’s not like I’m actually going anywhere, you know? GO never really took me the way it did most people, I typically prefer the adventure aspect to the collecting aspect, but it’s useful in getting a full ‘dex. - Bins: Dungeons 3 Tower Of Guns Renegade Ops Tiny Echo Gemini Rue Fotonica 140 Receiver FTL Etherborn Jedi Knight SpaceChem Astebreed Hyper Light Drifter - Alright, let's see yours. And what's your Game Of The Year?

#gaming #game of the year #goty #retrospective

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