even though i’m no longer as active here, nor do i currently write fic, i’ve wrestled with the repercussions of continuing to engage in the marauders/hp fandoms (such as just leaving this blog up and archiving my older fanworks here or on ao3 with disclaimers) after everything jkr has said and done (and continues to do) despite the extreme importance and comfort they once provided me. obviously, this decision has created a divide both in fan spaces and between average tumblr users over whether one should completely give up everything harry potter altogether or if you can denounce j*anne while still maintaining your presence in the fandom (either as a creator/artist/writer or just an observer) because it does not directly benefit the author monetarily as licensed merchandise and games, box office and book sales, or theme park attractions do.
the author has stated she sees any sort of support for her series as support for her beliefs or approval by fans that she’s justified in her behavior. i personally disagree with this, as i know better than she does how i feel about her politics and her bigotry, despite the fact that there is still an emotional attachment to fanon versions of her characters for me, and i already know she’d see all the ways in which i once enjoyed them as not supportive but mockery or bastardization or something. still, it must be taken into account. i don’t want to speak for minority groups i am not myself a part of on whether each individual is “valid” in reclaiming hp or not as that isn’t my place. as it is, i personally struggle enough with whether it’s okay to retain some sentimentality for the fandom and series at all as a queer person and whether i’m “trans enough” for it to be seen as justified. that is something we all must decide for ourselves and help each other to conclude. so although i’m not here to try and convince you one way or the other, i will recognize there IS an undeniable, tangible (if not financial) impact of creating fanworks and engaging in fandom practices. she has perpetuated so, so much harm, and her series itself was and has always been, rife with problematic themes, imagery, and worldbuilding. it is not enough to simply say you “reclaim” hp and put “jk sucks” in your bio; if you’re going to remain in the fandom you have to actively speak out against the systems she supports and upholds today and be critical of the flaws within the series itself. if you cannot completely let hp go right now, i encourage you to renounce jkr’s beliefs always, entirely stop supporting her through purchases or words, and contribute to lgbt/jewish/bipoc rights through donations to verified charities + legal support and/or their ability to survive and thrive through mutual aid funds so long as you continue to keep the hp series culturally relevant. it’s the least we can do, really.
of course i recognize this viewpoint will likely be upsetting to some who may want to block me. i completely respect that. i also welcome civil discussion in the replies, however i refuse to respond to discourse or trolling as that is a response to conflict i am actively trying to unlearn.
as always, terfs/bigots/homophobes/racists/antisemites are NOT welcome here
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mattheo riddle headcanons - how you got together ⋆.ೃ࿔*:・⋆.ೃ࿔*:・
WARNINGS kissing, fluff, slight violence
Mattheo Riddle × fem!Reader
• mattheo was never really interested in girls - he couldn't understand why his friends were so obsessed with crushes and stuff . . . that was until you came along
• he always hated the "they were different" trope, but you were different
• he couldn't understand it (he had never been very in-touch with his emotions, except for maybe anger) but he knew he loved you
• it started out with stolen glances - in the great hall, in the corridors, in class, in the library; everywhere he saw you, he took the opportunity to fully observe you, to take in every inch of your face and body; he had never been one for studying, but he memerized you like a notecard
• blaise was the first to notice mattheo's sudden change in behavior sometimes and immediately linked it to you; like the good friend he was, he didn't tell anyone else, but teased mattheo about it relentlessly
• blaise still encouraged him to talk to you - the only reason mattheo actually spoke to you first was in hopes that it would end blaise's incessant nagging (spoiler alert: it didn't)
• he found you in the library, scouring the bookshelves, and built up the courage to speak with you
• of course, the clumsy idiot he was, got distracted and bumped into you, the books held in your arms tumbling to the ground
• he bent down to pick them up for you, offering a sheepish apology and smile and he thought "this was it" . . . until your friend called you from one of the studying tables and he lost his chance
• he didn't talk with you for a week after that
• not until he saw you in the courtyard, talking with a one zacharias smith; it was obvious you were trying to brush off his advances; you had seemed so uncomfortable as he continued to pester you
• mattheo didn't know what had happened until he did it; zacharias was thrown onto the floor with the power of a punch and you stood, shocked
• for a moment, he thought that maybe you'd be impressed, like he was the knight in shining armor you had been vying for
• but you had only scoffed and stormed away from both boys, obviously distressed
• he felt a little angry about that . . . why hadn't you been impressed? or at least glad that he stood up to the guy?
• he was in a bad mood for a few days . . . and got detention for punching zacharias in the face, even after he had told the professor that he had been bothering you and he was only trying to defend you
• he thought that you'd never look his way - but little did he know that you started watching him; he intrigued you . . . why had slytherin's very own bad boy defended you? you didn't even know him!
• that's when you saw not the bad boy facade, but the sweetheart interior; you caught him feeding stray pets in the hallways, volunteering late at night in the library when virtually no one was bound to be there, doing little things for his friends when he thought no one noticed
• you even caught him doodling in class once, small little flowers - he was actually quite good!
• and that's how you started to fall in love with mattheo riddle, bit by bit - not a bad boy, not just some slytherin, not the dark lord's son, mattheo
• you didn't know how to approach him - given his usual uncaring facade and the gang of slytherins surrounding him all the time, you'd feel too embarrassed to talk to him
• but blaise noticed that you too had your eyes on mattheo
• one day, when mattheo had skipped class, blaise caught you after potions
• he asked if you had a crush on mattheo - of course, you were hesitant to admit it, but it was obvious enough that you had to eventually
• blaise gave you a note that he said mattheo had told him to give you - it said to meet mattheo in the astronomy tower late that night
• you did not know, however, that blaise had taken a glance at your notes, memorizing your handwriting, and went to his dorm; he did his best to copy it, and gave mattheo a similar note, stating that you had asked him to pass it on
• mattheo was doubtful, but it was definitely your handwriting
• you arrived early, a bundle of nerves - why had mattheo called you there? you wondered - what made you so special?
• you sat down on the floor and gazed at the stars
• then you heard footsteps behind you and whipped your head around to see mattheo holding a piece of parchment
• he stood awkwardly for a moment before sitting on the floor next to you, your shoulders brushing together
• "you called me here?"
• you furrowed your brows at him - "no, blaise gave me this -" you handed him in the note "- said you told him to give me this"
• mattheo poked his cheek with an irritated tounge - "bastard," he remarked, a bitter smile on his face
• you had never been so close to him before - you could see all the little, invisible freckles dotting his face and scars from his many fights
• then it suddenly came to your attention that blaise had lured both of you here under the impression that the other had asked and cursed in your head
• you both sat in silence for a while
• mattheo didn't know what to do - you would never love him the way he loved you
• that was when you said, "i know you were only trying to help when you punched zacharias - and I admit that it was quite satisfying to watch, he certainly deserved to be punched but . . . i don't think it was necessary to be so violent. you could've just threatened him and he would have weaseled back to his common room in fear of the big bad slytherin"
• mattheo barked out a laugh, especially at the last part, which you had spoken quite sarcastically - "are you trying to suggest that i'm not a big bad slytherin?"
• you told him all the things you noticed about him
• he grinned widely - "have you been spying on me?"
• you flushed - "of course not - it was just an observation"
• "multiple observations," mattheo responded teasingly
• you flushed even more, sputtering - he thought you looked adorable trying to worm your way out of this
• he felt perhaps a little more confident - maybe you did like him . . . to an extent; after all, when had anyone paid that much attention to him before? his mind started to whirl at the idea of you possibly liking him back
• he gently grabbed your chin, turning your face to meet his; he tilted his head, smiling softly
• "it's okay to admit that you like me, love."
• you felt like your entire face was on fire - "really, riddle, what nonsense are you talking?" you sounded much more nervous than confident
• mattheo suddenly got much more serious. his eyes lingered over your lips - merlin, how he had longed to kiss them
• "if you want to leave, go. i won't stop you. if you feel that, at any time, you want to stop, you can shove me away, merlin you can punch me and leave. but i want to kiss you." his face had leaned gradually closer, so that by the time he finished speaking, his lips had ghosted over your own; he glanced at you, noticing how your chest had suddenly stopped it's usual rise and fall
• you made no move to leave
• mattheo closed the distance between you, kissing you softly - he panicked for a moment, when you hadn't reciprocated but he could boil it down to shock or nerves because you threw your arms around his neck, pulling him in deeper after that first moment of hesitance
• when he returned to his dorm, a smug smile on his face, blaise knew
• blaise would force mattheo to forever admit that you two never would have gotten together were it not for him - mattheo told him no way, so they agreed to let blaise be the best man at your future wedding and blaise was content enough with that
TAGS @m00nagegaydream @rilakeila @xftyhjmnfdsdfgjn @s1ater
Please like, reblog, and leave a comment! I would really appreciate it ^^
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