#i am. maybe a little bit predictable. when it comes to which characters drive me to madness LMFAOOO

[moe-broey]

AUGH Pokemon Scar/Vio DLC spoilers below bc I'm NOT gonna have anyone to talk about this with for a little while LMFAOOO

God I wish when Kieran ran off with the mask, challenged you to a battle to get it back, and lost that battle. I DESPERATELY WISH he just ran off with the mask again anyway. LIKE. For one could you imagine how fucking funny that would have been LMFAO but also!!!!! I think something like that happening would have absolutely raised the stakes, AND would have given you a reason to be mad at him. I think, what Kieran needed MOST as a character and the development they're taking with him, is for him to have moments where he doubles down and is stubborn and bratty.

LIKE. This is going to get SO incoherent LMFAO but I'm thinking about Hortensia Fire Emblem's whole character arc, where you meet her and she's bratty right off the bat. But the thing that GETS me about her is that she doubles down. She's stubborn. And you see Why, you see her scared and hurt and traumatized as she's trying to figure out what to do next. And what REALLY makes her character to me, is when not even Ivy being on your side is enough for her to join you. She still needs time. And by "time", I mean needs to keep digging her grave deeper because she just can't stop yet. LIKE. She's acting out. Which isn't me invalidating anything, like, I'm struggling to find the words for it but she's just 14 about it you know. Something SO horrible has happened and you feel SO MUCH about it that not even your older sister can talk sense into you, at least not right now.

I THINK. The connection I want to make here is that I think Kieran has SO MUCH POTENTIAL as a blooming antagonistic character, he just NEEDED a moment like Hortensia has with Ivy. Where she doubles down on her path. And I think Kieran, maybe initially planning on keeping his word... when you defeat him, and everything just wells up inside and overtakes him. I think THAT would have been a fantastic and shocking moment, if you could see him make that decision to Make Things Worse in real time. And I can only IMAGINE the reaction that would have gotten out of Carmine too!!!

AND. CARMINE. CARMINE. I FIND HER SO FASCINATING. LIKE. Yeah yeah overheard a conversation/misunderstanding tropes are cliche and can be super annoying as a storytelling device. AUGH BUT I FEEL LIKE IT COULD ACTUALLY WORK FOR THEM..... with how both of them Are. I think Carmine and Kieran have SUCH incompatible personalities and there is SO much to explore there. Like. It's established as soon as you meet them, that they must be close and care for each other. You see it in how Carmine looks after Kieran, speaking up for him when he's struggling to, and you see how Kieran admires and looks up to her as he cheers her on in battle. But you ALSO see that Carmine has the emotional intelligence of a brick and she is naturally just. Abrasive and temperamental, with an ego. ALL. HORRIBLE TRAITS TO HAVE IN ONE REALLY HAHAH (I love her though). And you see that Kieran is EXTREMELY sensitive, shy and mopey.

BUT ALSO. WHAT GETS ME ABOUT KIERAN ACTUALLY. Is how you See those traits evolve and twist into more detrimental versions of themselves. AND you start seeing some Similarities he has with Carmine. He also is temperamental. He also has an ego. THIS. WAS SO COOL TO SEE TBH!!! Espppp seeing the uglier aspects of being "shy" and "sensitive". Traits that are really easy to make endearing and to woobify. It's easy to look over just how destructive these traits can get, when you take things too personally and then shut yourself off completely. AND. THE EGO. ADDED ONTO THIS. The fact that he IS a sore loser, the fact that he DOES get bratty about it. Like, I think another thing I really appreciate about Kieran is he acts his age. He quickly starts to feel like the entire world is against him AND he's 14 about it.

In turn, I think I really appreciate how Carmine is so much just an older sister. Like. Yeah, she has a temper and an ego. But also, I think you see that she's a pretty good sport actually. She's competitive, but she's not actually holding anything against you (beyond like, her frustrations about her home town feeling like a tourist spot -- which like! I think is reasonable actually, to dislike that). Like. She's abrasive, she's prideful, but ultimately she does have an air of maturity. She is Not 14 about it. On account of not being 14, unlike her little brother LMFAOOO (ALSO!!! I think it's clear how much she Does care too, how she does end up looking out for you, how she congratulates you and hypes you up... like!!! She's just a little bit of a jackass LMFAO but I love her for it)

And like ultimately maybe all this is just set up for a slow burn, as Kieran goes sicko mode LMFAO but I REALLY wish. There was at least ONE moment where he did something that's just a dick move. And REALLY digs his heels in. Makes it clear, compromise is NOT an option for him, not right now. That, for a while, no one is going to be able to reach him, not even his sister. He just needs to get it out of his system.

Plus, I think it would be incredibly useful for the player to have a reason to be mad at him, because GOD. I HATE. MORE THAN ANYTHING. When Pokemon gives you rivals you just feel bad for!!!!!! Like I just pity him!!!! I think he's right to feel the way he does and I think he has every right to act out. And like, I think I'd Still feel that way actually, if he did actively make bad choices that just makes everything worse and Isn't particularly palatable about it LMFAO. BUT. At VERY least, if he pulled a dick move, I can have something justifiable to want to fight him over. Lowkey Takumi feelings actually, where one of my favorite things about him is When he's an asshole, and it IS entirely on him, like... it's vindicating to see other characters push back. I, as the player, want the characters to get his ass for it. And it's rewarding, when he does come around (either immediately or after some time), and tries to make up for it. Like.... give me a reason to WANT to get Kieran's ass. Piss EVERYONE off in the process, ESPECIALLY your sister for the angst and drama of it all!! I just feel like I stomped on a little autistic boy's dream and stole away the object of his special interest HSKAHKSHA dude THIS SUCKS 😭😭😭😭😭

AUGH!!!!!!!!!! Anyway misc thoughts

The townspeople's turnaround about the ogre off screen was SO STUPID LMFAOOO LIKE. Like yeah yeah Pokemon game......... but you know what else was a Pokemon game. Pokemon Mystery Dungeon Explorers of Sky. LIKE AGSJHSJSJSJJ I FEEL LIKE SUUUUCH A CRAZY RAMBLY OLD MAN but Pokemon Scarlet/Violet HAD THE POTENTIAL. TO BE ON THAT LEVEL. I THINK. PERSONALLY. ON A STORYTELLING FRONT. And AGAIN I feel like there could have been potential here.

Like I think the main issue is the story even in the canon itself took place in too short of a time to develop in the way I think it deserved. But I'm thinking about the whole Process in PMD2 of returning from the Future, you, your partner, and Grovyle. How the three of you Can't just go back to the guild, especially Grovyle in tow, a wanted outlaw in this time period. How it takes days, of laying low, planning carefully, gathering intel, and hitting a wall, before finally deciding you really have no where else to turn BUT Wiggletuff's Guild. AND. AND. THE WHOLE PROCESS. THAT WHOLE THING CHATOT PUTS YOU THROUGH. AFTER TELLING YOUR STORY. Where Every Single Guild Member Individually has to decide, no, Chatot, I'm with Hero and Partner actually. Up against The Great Dusknoir's reputation, Grovyle's reputation, and your standing as the most recent additions to the guild versus Chatot's standing, Wiggletuff's right hand man, second in command, a respected authority figure.

LIKE........ I just think. With the folklore surrounding Ogrepon and the Loyal Three. Even if they didn't have That Much Time to build up to it exactly like that (speaking canonically, school trip constraints), I think. Even just a scene where You're part of trying to tell the town the truth about Ogrepon and the Loyal Three, AND you see the inital pushback, especially from an authority figure (maybe the Caretaker?) would have been enough. Especially would have been nice to see, instead of every NPC talking about how they got things wrong -- if there was divide and conflict, some believing you and feeling regretful towards how Ogrepon was treated, and others not believing you at all, ESPECIALLY as an outsider, who are you to tell us our history? AND even a few NPCs who are on your side, but are still in a state of disbelief or feeling betrayed. Like. Make us feel the weight of Why Carmine and Kieran's family kept this a secret for generations. (ALSO LITERALLY DIDN'T THEIR ANCESTOR TRY TO TELL THE TRUTH AND WAS HARSHLY DISMISSED AND CRITICIZED???? Why would Kieran be treated differently now for doing the same thing???????)

I guess last thoughts about Carmine and Kieran I didn't get to earlier but. I think you can See, as the story plays out, where there is this building frustration that turns to resentment from Kieran, towards how Carmine treats him. How, while she does speak up for him, she also speaks over him. What she sees as probably tough love or standard older-sibling teasing, HE takes it just. So personally. And it festers. It seems he feels ignored, dismissed and invalidated -- and his dialogues where he is mopey, and Carmine (almost on the right track), calls it for what it is -- her baby brother just being a baby. Like, I say "Almost on the right track", because in a way she Is Right. He's Very Loudly sulking and pouting, she sees this and sees he's being 14 about it. But she fails to consider just how much Kieran internalizes this treatment, of being teased and having others around you be told "He'll get over it". WHICH... even if he does. Even if he will. Something that JUMPS out to me IS how loudly he's moping and sulking, how dramatic it is. To me, it's like a cry for attention, for someone to listen to him and take his feelings seriously.

THIS. IS WHAT I MEANT BEFORE. When I talked about how the misunderstanding trope actually lends itself SO well to these two characters, as siblings who do love each other, but there IS this emotional distance. Where Carmine looks over Kieran's feelings, and doesn't know what to do with them, and Kieran is going to internalize all of this until he implodes. And when he DOES implode, when it feels like his entire world is crashing and burning around him (in a way, it IS his whole world!)... he doesn't trust her at all. Whether Carmine meant to or not (which, I don't think she has ever meant to hurt him, I do think it's the incompatibility), Kieran has been made to feel like he's an outcast, like his feelings don't matter, and no matter what he does, no one is going to listen to him or care about him. WHICH IS. AGAIN. WHY. I THINK HE NEEDS TO FUCK SHIT UP MORE. That is the GO TO thing to do when you're a kid and you feel this way LMFAOOO

Aughghhh........ Pokemon Scarlet and Violet you have so much potential I just wish you'd FOLLOW THROUGH and PUT YOUR WHOLE PUSSY INTO IT (AND MAYBE THEY WILL. IN THE FUTURE. THIS IS THE FIRST DLC. HOWEVER. I do think there are certain areas in general, like the ogre ordeal, where they just dropped the ball 😔)

#pokemon #pokemon scarlet and violet #pokemon carmine #pokemon kieran #i am. maybe a little bit predictable. when it comes to which characters drive me to madness LMFAOOO #i love pokemon scarvi. i can't recommend it wholeheartedly in good conscious due to The Quality (or lack thereof) #it's like being a sonic fan circa early 2000s again. it's awesome #but goddammit there are CHARACTERS IN THERE and I LIKE THEM‼️‼️‼️‼️‼️‼️‼️‼️‼️‼️

[embyrinitalics]

I'd love to know more about your writing process if you're willing to talk about it! From the initial idea to brainstorming and planning to how you structure your stories to actually putting words down -- I'm always curious to know what the process is like for writers whose work I enjoy ^^

Meep! 😱 What an incredibly cool ask! I am willing to talk about it, but spoilers it will probably be embarrassing and uninspiring and a total mess and with THAT disclaimer out of the way let's goooo!

So right out front I will say I don't feel like I have much of a "process." I am very unstructured, never use outlines, and rarely know where a story is going when I start out other than a vague direction. I definitely discover as I write, which works super great for me in short form stories (like the ones I spit out for Whumptober), but very very poorly with long fiction. Which explains the 4 1/2 year long Calamitous debacle.

My ideas often spawn out of something shallow (omg wouldn't it be hot if Link was a Dragon? OMG what if he was blind!!! OMGGG WHAT IF HE WAS A HOT MANIPULATIVE POE??!), but ultimately those scenarios are just playgrounds for exploring character stories. Getting to know my characters in those environments is priority #1. Cuz if I don't know who they are and what kind of baggage they're toting around, I won't know how best to torment them, amirite?

Sometimes as I'm discovering who they are, the characters will end up driving the plot hard to unexpected places. The Defiance set from Prius Dementat comes to mind immediately. When I started that piece, I did not know that Zelda was actually the Daughter of Hylia, whose birth prompted the rampage of an imperial war machine that devastated Link's childhood and country. But as I got to know him—who he was, where he came from, how he viewed the world—it seemed like the obvious way to make his life infinitely more difficult.

Character always comes before plot for me (chronologically, but also just insofar as what I'm personally interested in), and as a result my plots tend to be predictable and lack depth. But I think (hope?) that because I'm so laser-focused on the characters and how they interact with the world, that even if it is uncomplicated, it is at least believable. I want them to feel like real people having real reactions. I want them to be intelligent enough to keep up with the reader (or have good reason not to), but also imperfect and emotionally flawed enough to make mistakes. I want their conversations to fit their voice and reflect motivation, and not just be an excuse for exposition or to move the plot along.

My actual "method" involves a lot of rolling around in bed early in the morning (I get my best ideas when I'm groggy LOL), going for walks in the woods, listening to just the right song on repeat, jotting down lines and ideas in notebooks and then misplacing them, and staring at my laptop screen in the dark waiting for inspiration. Interruptions are the absolute worst; I definitely work off the unconscious association of words and mental images and ideas that happens when I'm "in the zone," so having a comfortable room where I can close the door and pop my headphones in is great for the creative juices.

One thing I do A LOT of that I kind of assumed other writers do too but maybe not? Is I'll have a scene in my head, but if I try to actually write it out I'll get caught up in word choice and pacing and it'll all start to escape me before I can get it down, so I end up smashing an inelegant paragraph together as a note to myself. Here's one such paragraph in my The Wolf King doc:

(And when he finally tears away, eyes dark and wild and chest heaving, he says, “Pack your things,” and he pushes off the wall to leave her. “You’re going home.” OOHHHHHHHHHHHH lol And she goes back into the shed because she does NOT have the energy to chase after him and then just faceplants in the blankets and cries a little bit. When she goes back inside they’re already packing up her stuff, and Paya is like WHAT DID YOU DO and Zelda’s like when am I supposed to leave and she’s like “Tomorrow morning.” Link is predictably missing all day, and she ends up sneaking into his room and Paya sees her and she’s like “I have to talk to him,” and then Paya’s all “If I get in trouble, I’m blaming you,” and helps her get in.)

lol yup so that's how it starts in my brain... I'm not entirely sure how it ends up legible. But I have literally pages and pages of story written in that mishmash, so. That's a thing.

I don't know if... ANY of this is what you were looking for 😂 But hopefully you found this ramble amusing, if nothing else. As you can see I'm disorganized and really struggle to complete things, but while I'm sure there's a way for me to write that would end up being more productive, I have a feeling it would be a lot less fun, so I've stopped looking for it.

Thanks so much for the ask! 🥰✨

#writing process #don't stare too long into my brain you'll go blind 😳 #asks #thirteenthhr #thanks for the ask! #long post

[thewhizzyhead]

a non-filipino's guide to trese: ep 1

So some of my mutuals decided to check out Trese aka the Netflix adaptation of the Filipino horror comic book series that I keep rambling about here and then since well um most of my mutuals aren’t from the Philippines fshfs I decided to make a long-ass post that basically consists of me rambling about the cultural context present in Trese with fun little tidbits about Filipino folklore. I’m not an expert on Filipino mythology so um I just typed out the stuff that I know and the stuff that I looked up on Wikipedia so um take this with a grain of salt aaaaa I’ll save the extensive google scholar research ramble on folklore present in Trese for another day.

I’ll try to find the sites where I got some of the information from cause um yea I kinda had a bit of a hard time finding the other shit so um once again, take the stuff here with a grain of salt. Also, feel free to add more info if you guys got any!

SO ANYWAYS ENJOY ME RAMBLING ABOUT EPISODE 1 OF TRESE WOO

+ MRT and LRT (Manila Metro Rail Transit and Light Rail Transit) are train systems in NCR (the capital region) and yea them suddenly stopping and malfunctioning in the middle of the goddamn rail is a daily occurrence and we have been trying to deal with this bullshit for years but alas, corruption and negligence are sweet sweet drugs.

+ When the MRT broke down, you'd see a red bee in the flashing billboard right? Well that's Jollibee and that's probably the most well-known fast food restaurant chain here heck there are even branches of it abroad!

+ According to many youtube comments along with other social media posts that I am way too tired to link here, the opening theme is an Ifugao ethnic song called Balluha'd Bayyauhen but with modern accompaniments and I think the song is about a fruit called a balluha that the character in the song tries to it but cannot swallow. (someone please correct me if I’m wrong here fjkfs)

+ The first um monster that we see Alexandra interact with is the White Lady of Balete Drive. White Ladies or “Kaperosa” are a type of female ghosts typically dressed in ghostly white dresses or similar garments. According to legend, she died in a car accident while driving along Balete Drive (a two lane street formerly lined with Balete Trees which are said to be a home for spirits and mysterious creatures) in Quezon City while other accounts say she died waiting for the arrival of her lover; others also say that she was a teenage girl who was run over and killed by a taxi driver at night and then buried around a Balete tree while another variation of the tale claims that a student from the University of the Philippines was sexually assaulted and killed by a taxi driver nearby and so said ghost haunts the street in search of her murderer. There are many other variations but according to local rumor, the legend was fabricated by a reporter in 1953 in order to make an interesting story. What remains consistent in many variations is that apparently taxi drivers would be stopped by a beautiful lady asking for a ride and if one would look at the rear window, they would see that the white lady in question is bruised and drenched in blood.

+ There are a lot of mentions about "lakans" and stuff in reference to Alex and her father right? In precolonial times, the term is used to refer to the paramount ruler or the highest-ranking political authorities in Tagalog communities (so um NCR and some parts of Region 4). In Muslim communities, they are called sultans while communities with strong trade connecitons with Indonesia or Malaysia called them Rajah. Datu is umm the more generalized term though when it comes to discussing the leaders of the precolonial Filipinos.

+ So, Alex’s mom is a babaylan and back in the pre-colonial period, each barangay (which a native filipino term for a village or a district; said term is still used today to describe um divisions in municipalities like) had them and these are basically Philippine shamans and they specialized in communicating with the spirits of the dead. To my knowledge, the role of babaylan went to women and yea people assigned male at birth but then identified as female were also allowed to become babaylans and they would be treated with the same respect given to any woman back then (honestly I dunno much about lgbtq+ stuff back in the precolonial times but all I know is that precolonial Filipinos were much a lot more welcoming towards trans identities bUT THEN THE SPANIARDS CAME AND UM ERR RUINED THAT); also the writing Alexandra's mom did in that one scene with the dagger is in Baybayin - preHispanic Filipino script. I dunno what she wrote down though. .

+ Also I kinda find it funny that the people here esp those who were at the White Lady scene are um,,, not at all surprised? Like yea quite a number of filipinos have their own superstitions and beliefs and all that but um yea the people in Trese seem very used to the bullshit,,,which in retrospect, isn't at all inaccurate fsdfd I MEAN WE DEAL WITH UNSURMOUNTABLE AMOUNTS OF BS ON A DAILY BASIS SO I DON’T THINK DEAD GHOSTS WOULD EVEN FAZE MANY FSKJDS

+ The one that appears right before Alexandra talks with the duwende (the one in the manhole) is called Laman Lupa (which i guess translates to um "What is in the earth"? just um YEA THEY ARE DIRT CREATURES). normally this is an umbrella term for duwendes and nunos but in Trese they are servants of these aforementioned creatures.

+ Duwende (which came from the Spanish phrase "dueno de case" which means "owner of the house") or dwarves in Filipino folklore are known to be mischievous and magical environmental guardians. They are believed to reside in trees or under earth mounds (those that live in the latter are called nuno sa pundo or old man of the mount) which is why quite a lot of Filipinos say "tabi tabi po" or “excuse me” when wandering around a forest or earth mounds as a sign of respect and in the hopes the duwende won't torment them. If the person is friendly, the duwende can also be friendly in return and will bring that person good lucl; otherwise, those who destroy their homes by stepping on them will face their wrath in form of heartless curse and predictions of ominous and disastrous fates. A duwende's color also depends on their budhi or conscience: to my knowledge, white duwendes are kind, red ones give protection amulets, green ones are firnedly with children and the black ones give nothing but trouble.

+ Chocnut aka the snack Alex bribes the nuno with is a very yummy chocolate snack made of coconut milk, crushed peanuts and cocoa powder. They are umm about an inch in length and maybe half an inch in width so it's fairly small; that being said I WANT THE CHOCNUT THAT ALEXANDRA HAS CAUSE HOT DAMN THAT'S A BIG CHOCNUT

+ In Trese, the creatures in the MRT scene and in the warehouse Alexandra visits after she talks with the duwende are called "aswang". In Philippine folklore, it is an umbrella term for any kind of monster so um an aswang in Luzon would be very different from the aswang in Mindanao. According to what I saw on wikipedia, they can be classified in 5 categories: the vampire (self-explanatory um they drink blood), the viscera sucker (the manananggal, i'll get to that next time), the weredog (cats and pigs are also possible but um yea they target pregnant women), the witch (self-explanatory boom curses and stuff) and the ghoul (they gather near trees in cemeteries to feast on human corpses). Aswangs are often described to have a long, hollow tongue, sharp claws and sharp teeth, although they do also have human forms.

+ To my knowledge, Ibwa, the leader of the aswangs in the warehouse, is a creature from Tinguian or Itneg mythology (they, like the Ifugao, are an indigenous ethnic group in northwestern Luzon) though I could be wrong about this dksfsf Ibwa seems like an ethnic filipino term tho wah I can't remember where I once read that. But anyways, Ibwa often stalk sthe house of a dying person to steal its body. In order for the ibwa to NOT succeed in that, some people burn holes in the garments of the dead and put a sharp iron object on top of the grave since those are most powerful weapons against aswangs which is what Alexandra uses to subdue the Ibwa and kill all the other aswangs (the knife alex uses is named Sinag which means "ray of light".)

+ ALSO I AM SO SO GLAD THEY KEPT THE FILIPINO SWEARS IN THE ENGLISH DUB YES YES THIS IS A VERY GOOD JOB so lemme discuss the versatility of tangina-

+ Also umm Bossing is a nickname of Vic Sotto - one of the three pioneer hosts of Eat Bulaga! which is the longest running Philippine noontime variety show. Over time, most probably due to the show's popularity, the term "bossing" then became um slang for "boss" or "chief"

+ Translation of what Alex says when she's stirring the eye inside the cup: “In the eyes of others, secrets will reveal themselves.”

+ Sidenote: The English dub's pronunciation of many of the tagalog lines are um yea they r pretty good but they could use a bit of work but then again I'm really not that good in speaking in Tagalog so who am I to judge gkdkf sorry po guys conyo po ako-

+ Maria Makiling is arguably the most famous of all the diwatas (ancestral spirits, nature spirits, or deities) in Philippine Mythology; she is associated with Mount Makiling in Laguna as the guardian spirit of the mountain. Mount Makiling is said to resemble a profile of a woman and people associate the profile with Maria herself. She is also known as a goddess by the name of Dayang Masalanta and people would pray to her for safety and to stop storms and earthquakes. That's the goddess Alexandra's mother mentions right when she tells Alex to hide. (Translation to what she said there: Maria Makiling, goddess of the mountain, bless us.)

+ ALSO YEA THAT MAYOR IN THE MRT STATION IS UMMM RATHER REMINISCENT OF MAAAANY POLITICIANS AND PUBLIC SERVANTS HERE LIKE BELIEVE ME I CAN THINK OF SO MANY NAMES RN. THEY WOULD FLAUNT THEIR MACHISMO AND PROMISE THAT THEY THEMSELVES SHALL PUNISH THE PERPETRATORS HARSHLY BUT IN THE END THEY DONT MEAN SHIT AND ARE IN OFFICE TO SERVE ONLY THEMSELVES AND TO SHIT ON THE REST ESP THOSE OF THE POORER SECTORS AND *NOTHING IS DONE ABOUT IT*. WE LIVE IN HELL OKAY. also hmm how the police are represented here is umm,,,interesting,,, like i know there are sOME good police officers like the ones alexandra assists but like,,,our current sociopolitical climate + the many cases showcasing the corruption in the police force + tHE SHEER AMOUNT OF POLICE BRUTALITY HERE would ummm beg to differ. but um anyways-

+ Also Mang Inasal posters can be seen in the MRT station backdrops and um it’s a very famous restaurant chain here and they serve lots of barbecue and other filipino stuffs and i miss them a lot God their halo halo is very yummy

+ Santelmo - oki so this is the fire face thingy that Alexandra summons inside the ruined train. This is the shortened version of the term "Apoy ni Santa Elmo" or "St. Elmo's Fire" - this is a weather phenomenon wherein plasma is created from an electrical discharge from a rod like object in an atmospheric electric field. This phenomenon was used to warn of imminent lightning strikes or storms (there is a chapter in Noli Me Tangere where Pilosopo Tasyo talks about that bUT I'LL SAVE THE NOLI ME TANGERE RAMBLES FOR ANOTHER DAY). But according to Philippine folklore, santelmos - which are said to be souls of people lost as sea - are balls of fire that appear where accidents or big arguments happen. In Trese, santelmos (alex's santelmo being "The Great Spirit of the Binondo Fire") can be called to assist in supernatural investigations

+ Translation of what Alex says when she draws the circles to meet with the purple ghosts: "Souls, where are you off to? I'll be entering too, so please open the door."

+ Remember the scene at the train with all the purple ghosts and the woman in a veil? Yea the woman is an emissary of a goddess named Ibu and she is the Manobo (again, another indigenous ethnic group but this time they're from Mindanao; fun fact we have around 134 ethnic groups) goddess of deceased mortals and the queen of the underworld; she also serves as a psychopomp and guides the newly deceased souls to the other side (having an MRT be the ride to the underworld isn’t in the legends tho so fkkjsf)

+ The aswang in the top hat is called Xa Mul and according to the Isneg/Apayao people (yay another ethnic group but this time in northern Luzon - the Cordillera regions to be specific), they are an evil spirit known to swallow people whole.

+ Alex has two henchmen right? Yea they are named Crispin and Basillio and No I still don’t know who’s who and I'm really sorry about that fsfjs so anyways the names Crispin and Basillio are actually those of two brothers featured in the Noli Me Tangere and El Filibusterismo novels (Crispin is younger and Basilio is older) which are basically the national novels here cause um yea written by national hero Jose Rizal as sociopolitical commentary about the Spanish regime here. I don't know if I want to spoil this cause I kinda want other people to read the novel too fskfs BUT ALL IN ALL, ONE OF THEM DIES IN LIKE THE 10TH OR 11TH CHAPTER OF NOLI ME TANGERE (and the novel has 64 chapters btw) AND UM YEA-

+ OKI SO TO ADD MORE CONTEXT TO THE SQUATTER STUFFS MENTIONED IN TRESE (we r gonna use the tiny font here because holy shit this rant is long): So,in the Philippines, especially in the capital region, there are lots of slum areas called squatters. These are dense urban settlements made of compact makeshift housing units that aren't really officially recognized by the government. This is um very reflective of the poverty situation here and there are maaany factors that come into play here and if i were to go into depth about this topic, that rant would probably turn into an academic paper so for the sake of brevity, let's just say that Things Are Fucked Up Here. Oftentimes the poorer sectors are being ignored and left to their own devices despite tons of campaign promises to make things better and easier for them. The communities that live here are incredibly vulnerable to floods, fires, and the like and afaik no concrete solutions have been in effect to protect these people and their settlements. There have also been many times where squatter areas are dismantled or demolished despite protests of people living in those areas and yea I understand the need to make space and the need for renovation but the people should still be offered some sort of temporary settlement or financial compensation thingy that doESN'T fuck them over but alas, we have an anti-poor government. That being said, I really like Trese Ep 1's portrayal of governmental negligence, but I also have some thoughts, especially in regards to the mayor being arrested THAT FAST which um believe me, NEVER FUCKING HAPPENS BECAUSE MANY MAYORS AND A LOT OF POLITICIANS HAVE THE POLICE IN THEIR POCKETS SO UM ERR YEA JUSTICE IS RARELY A THING HERE BUT UM ANYWAYS YEA THE GOVERNMENT LIKES TO SHIT ON THE POOR WOO LET'S SAVE THE USE OF SOCIOLOGICAL LENS ON THIS MATTER FOR ANOTHER DAY

+ The news channel reporting the arrest of the mayor is ABC-ZNN WHICH IS AN OBVIOUS REFERENCE TO ABSCBN aka the top media conglomerate here (that has been fucked over by the government so many times to the point that they had to shut down operations last year which is all sorts of unfair so seeing them being referenced here kinda made me happy gksfks)

#HI PATROC I HAVE A GIFT #IT'S A VERY LONG AND CONVOLUTED GIFT #BUT IT'S A GIFT #I WISH YOU THE BEST OF LUCK IN TRYING TO UNDERSTAND THIS #this is literally 2813 words long AND IT TOOK ME 12 HOURS TO TYPE THIS OUT OH GOD #AND THIS IS JUST EP 1 #here's to hoping the following eps are gonna be much easier for me to like ramble about considering that i explained quite a lot here gfsfs #please do take this ramble with a grain of salt tho cause obviously I am not a mythology expert so um feel free to add more info! #i'd really love to see more info about trese so yay! #trese #trese netflix #alexandra trese #trese spoilers #ask to tag

[the-arcana-but-saucier]

I had to know your opinion on this. This could be for the main 6 or courtiers or both but how do you think they would react if they had a partner who was dangerously smart but also gets bored of predictability. What do you think they would do to keep them entertained day to day or in the bed?

Ooooh, this is interesting... batter up! *I step up to the plate, bat in hand. The bat gets upset about the way I'm holding it, squeaks at me, and flies away*

...or not. Well, anyway - I think this is a pretty niche concept, in a good way! I like the sort of characters that you're on about - the 'Sherlock Holmes' types, right? Let's see...

Asra: Asra gets to cheat a little bit on this one because of his magic - I imagine it's endlessly fascinating to see just what he can do with it (in bed or otherwise... ;) ) On top of that, Asra is a very mysterious person in general, and so I think he'd be one of the best fits for someone like this, since they'd always be trying to figure him out. And he's not dumb at all, either, so he'd probably try to keep a step ahead of them as best he could :P

Nadia: For Nadia, it would likely come down to games of skill. Chess is the one that comes to mind, but really any game like that. I imagine she'd be pretty competitive about it, and determined to win once she realised that her opponent would not be so easily beaten. In turn, this would likely make her partner feel endeared to her, which would make it all the more surprising when she whips out the more... dominant gear during their downtime. Doesn't matter how smart you are if you're gagged and bound, or so Nadia says :)

Portia: This is a tough one. Ultimately, I feel like Pasha might struggle to keep someone like this engaged, but her own endless curiously could provide highly entertaining to them as they attempt to teach her what they know, and in return, she teaches them all the little secrets, tricks, and shortcuts in Vesuvia :)

Julian: Mmmm.. not sure about this one. Jules is (very) smart academically, but can be pretty socially/situationally dense sometimes. His relationship with the person would likely revolve around intellectual debate staked on raunchy dares, which both parties would likely enjoy greatly. It does rely on the person in question being able to match (or at least bear) Julian's sex drive, though... it might also not be a good fit, since I'm not actually sure how much Julian would like being 'intellectually upstaged' - I genuinely have no idea. Everyone reading, drop your thoughts in the comments!

Lucio: Hah. Hmm. Hah. I don't know about this one. I can only see this going poorly - Lucio would be constantly mad that his partner is so much smarter than him, and his behaviour would either lead to A) various fights, spelling the end of the relationship, or B) Lucio becoming hellbent on 'making damn sure they know I'm smart, because I am! Aren't I?' And attempting to outdo them constantly, which might just be bonkers enough to keep the person engaged with constantly making up new puzzles and riddles for Lucio to solve, and amused at his failures (and happy at his successes!).

Muriel: There would be an odd standoff here; I think Muriel wouldn't really care about how smart the person is, and it might make him feel a bit insecure if they get bored that easily. Sorry, bur I'm not sure this ones a viable match :/ Just can't quite see it working out. Only thing I can think of is maybe the person is intrigued enough about Muriel and his silent persona that they dedicate themselves to getting him to slowly open up about everything, which to them, might just be the most valuable knowledge of all. :)

This is all just speculation, so if anyone else has any opinions/thoughts/cool ideas about this prompt, I'd love to hear them! Thanks for the ask, anon ❤

#lemon #the arcana #the arcana game #arcana game #the arcana but saucier

[clarste]

Since it's been a few weeks, what's your opinion on Chapter 8 of Arknights? Reading about your opinion on other pieces of Arknights has been very nice so far.

I find this enemy description inordinately amusing so I will start with this before going to spoilers below the break.

1) First of all I am a sucker for flashbacks following the villain, so the basic structure of Chapter 8 was right up my alley. Even if Talulah's arc was more or less predictable—who among us did not expect Alina to die? I think some people might feel that it was a little too long, but honestly I think it said everything it needed to say and frankly there is nothing more important the chapter could have said. If anything, the parts that weren't about Talulah would be first on my chopping list if I were editing this story down. In particular, the whole bit with Kal'tsit and the sarcophagus and all that had almost nothing to do with the themes of this chapter or the Reunion arc, so they seemed especially superfluous. Even if that story might have been interesting told on its own.

2) Talulah. The main character of this chapter, obviously. I think there are two different angles to approach her from that seem almost mutually exclusive, which are that A) she is a tragic figure who started with noble ideals but was pushed to her limits until she became a ruthless shell of her former self and B) she is literally possessed by Kaschey, ie: the Deathless Black Snake, who is the immortal spirit of Imperialism manipulating the country of Ursus into a constant state of war. From what I've seen of people’s reactions, I think most people focus more on angle B, which makes sense because that is literally true in the story, but what I took from it is that it's a lot more ambiguous than that.

What I mean is that the story is constantly emphasizing that the Deathless Black Snake can only take action as long as Talulah agrees with it. It's more insidious than just an external ghost taking control of her (and thereby freeing her of responsibility for her actions), it's a philosophy that was planted in her by her mentor, a way of thinking, an idea. A living meme. So when I say that it's the immortal spirit of imperialism, I don't mean that as a joke, it is the embodiment of imperialism itself, of imperialist ideals and goals, manifested in this particular person the moment she starts seeing her enemies as obstacles to be eliminated instead of people with their own motivations. I certainly don't think that the trigger for the transformation was set arbitrarily, that's just Who She Needed To Be in order to buy into the ideas that Kaschey and the Snake had taught her from a young age. It’s also an ancient god taking physical control over her, but hey, it's fantasy.

Ultimately, we didn't defeat the Deathless Black Snake in battle, we just gave Talulah second thoughts. And she will live with what she's done for the rest of her life.

3) Amiya. In this chapter, more than anywhere else, it's clear that Amiya is the main character of Arknights. Sure, we have whatever Kal'tsit is plotting, and whatever the hell the Doctor is, but that doesn't actually matter. In fact, they spent this entire chapter walking around in the basement and never once interacting with Talulah. The Doctor shows up at the end with no idea what's going on or what happened, which is quite comical when you think about it.

By contrast, Amiya sees the big picture. Of the three people on top of the tower during the climax, only Amiya knows what both Talulah and Chen have been through, or indeed what she’s been though. What brought them all to that point. She is watching all these flashbacks right alongside us through her empathy powers. Which, as I've mentioned before, is really the best superpower in this setting: the power to see the world through someone else's eyes, and to feel the pain that drives them. And we, the players, feel what she feels. In a certain sense, she's even more of a player avatar here than even the Doctor, which I mean in the best possible way.

And of course her empathy gives her cool shounen superpowers that are suspiciously similar to Emiya Shirou, but I will allow it.

4) Chen. Chen is honestly kind of the weak link here, imo. While of course we've been following her character arc since chapter 3 and I don't mind where they've taken her, it ironically kind of felt to me like she had no personal stakes in the final battle. Which is odd since the story seemed to be hammering that it's all personal for her, what with Talulah being her long-lost sister and all that. The problem (imo) is that her close relationship with Talulah is all Told-Not-Shown, and also that Talulah is being possessed by the Deathless Black Snake, so it kind of feels like she's being left out of the loop, both in terms of knowing the facts and also emotionally.

I'm not saying she doesn't get any good lines, or that her banter with Amiya isn't cool or funny, I'm just saying that what should have been a big emotional moment at the climax of the story just sort of fell flat for me, and I was left wondering "wait, why is Chen here again?"

That said, I did enjoy her bit afterward where she's like "you need to stand fair trial for your crimes, Talulah, but in this world that discriminates against the Infected, there’s nowhere worthy of giving you one." I feel that sums up the game's stance on these things quite succinctly.

5) Rosmontis. Rosmontis had sort of an interesting arc here because it separated her from Amiya and I almost want to say that was a good thing? While I thought her relationship to Amiya was one of the most interesting things about her in the previous chapter, it almost feels like it was preventing her from forming bonds with other people and becoming a more well-rounded person? I guess what I want to say that is that Rosmontis was being coddled, sheltered, treated as a child. While some would call her a monster, Amiya was always around to say "no no no, don't listen to them, you're cute!" And while that was certainly nice of Amiya, it feels like what truly made her accept herself was almost the opposite: being accepted as a monster (or rather, a person with monstrous powers) by people used to fighting alongside monsters. Being told that she's allowed to hate the people who hurt her, and to be ruthless to her enemies. That her own emotions, both good or bad, are valid. For the first time, she felt human.

What you'll note, of course, is that these aren't exactly heroic virtues, and in fact they're kind of similar to what Amiya rejects and what got Talulah into so much trouble? Honestly I don't know if I would say Rosmontis is a good person right now, but what she is doing is thinking on her own for the first time, and deciding what's right and wrong for herself. It sounds almost malicious to put it this way, but it's like Amiya and Rhodes Island were trying to mold her into someone she's not. In some ways the opposite of what Kaschey did to Talulah.

I don't think her story is over yet, of course, but I found it an interesting direction to take. Rosmontis is on the path to find her own justice, which may or may not align with Rhodes Island's.

Also, kitty:

6) W. Back when I was doing a write-up for chapter 7, I said that maybe she would have been better off being recruitable in chapter 8 instead of 7, because it seemed a little early in her arc for that. I was wrong. She wouldn't fit in for chapter 8 either. Honestly she probably shouldn't be recruitable at all right now, not that I'm complaining as someone who uses her. Just, you know, narratively she is not at a place where she would consider joining RI, and in fact she ends the chapter pretty much going "later losers, I hope we never meet again." Which implies that the W in my squad right now is like a totally different person who is either from an alternate dimension or the future, after a lot of character development. That's not like the worst thing ever, it just seems a little weird to have her right now. W's story isn't about Reunion and never was. It's about Theresa and Babel, which as of now we are still only getting little hints of. I'd be glad to see that story when it happens, but until then W's just kind of there.

7) Themes. For some reason, this one line in this chapter really hit me. While it's not literally true, especially if you count all the former child slaves or feral children and whatnot, it does feel broadly true that most of the characters come from middle-class backgrounds. Like, your Krooses and Orchids of the world. Kal'tsit goes on to explain that this is because RI can only really recruit in cities, and that rural Infected tend to get thrown into the wilderness on their own and have no idea that RI exists.

Interestingly, this idea also sort of comes up in Talalah's side, when it's revealed that Talulah is the daughter of a duke, making her followers hesitate for a moment. While I don't recall it being explicitly spelled out, the implication was obviously that she's not "one of them" and this might be a cause for distrust. But what are "they' exactly? Clearly she is in fact Infected, she made sure of that herself. But she wasn't abandoned in the same way her followers were. She had a choice, and chose to side with the Infected. Which is honorable of her and all, but it also indicates a fundamental disconnect between them because they never had a choice. She could've used her influence to hide her oripathy and be treated like a normal person (as we saw happened with both Chen and Patriot), or used her wealth to get sent to a fancy private hospital like Rhodes Island, with the latest medical technology and treatments.

So while the story focuses on the discrimination of the Infected, it's clear here that that's not really the only thing going on. Being Infected means little to those in power, while for those without power it's just an an excuse to intrude on their lives and make sure they aren't "harboring any Infected" or whatever. Basically the story starts discussing intersectionality, which I found interesting.

8) This is a good line:

#not touhou #arknights #chapter 8 #roaring flare #if we don't pick a name for ourselves we will only ever be called the names others give us

[hencethebravery]

v i c e  v e r s a

This is the extremely brief story of how a rebellious, narcissistic little whelp fell in love with a smarmy, mustachioed bureaucrat (and vice versa).

+ Agent Mobius sits in an unremarkable cubicle in an unremarkable corner of an unremarkable building in a famously remarkable city. He wakes up and pages through his old travel magazines and not infrequently spills some of his coffee all over them. His subscription expired a year or so ago, and for whatever reason he has not been able to find the time to renew it. He finishes his breakfast and walks a couple blocks (if the weather’s nice) before hopping on the train another 30 minutes to the office, where he always greets security and they sometimes greet him back.

Agent Mobius has been working for the CI division of the Internal Revenue Service for the last 15 years, and he has been maddeningly close to catching Odin, the CEO of Asgard, Inc., for about 10 of those.

He’s worked other cases of course—made an impact in a plethora of other ways (his superiors take comfort in the consistent quality of his work), but they so rarely consumed him with the same degree of ferocity as this one. And it’s not because he’s been trapped within a “will they, won’t they” cluster-cuss with Odin’s impossible son (his youngest) for about 3-4 of the 10 years mentioned.

And no, it’s not a conflict of interest; if anything, he’s undercover.

B. (”Bee”) is his favorite co-worker. He knows almost nothing about her but is completely committed to making sure that he is her favorite co-worker. He’s winning her over. Absolutely.

“That is the dumbest thing I’ve ever heard you say, Mobius.”

He scoffs and adjusts his belt. He has almost certainly said things dumber than that.

Mobius treats himself to salads from Sissy’s Café 2-3 times a week. They’re on the pricier side because they’re so large, which is really the only way to eat a salad, otherwise you’re still hungry and it was nothing but a waste of money and wilted lettuce. On a seasonally comfortable day he’ll grab it to-go and grab a table at a small park nearby, which is generally speaking one of the nicer parts of his day, unless of course—

“You are terribly predictable, I hope you know.”

Mobius huffs and stabs his fork into a particularly thick bit of spinach and avocado. “You say that as if you’re not, which I find hilarious.”

“Well you would, I am famously quite funny.”

He tries to ignore the fact that the code-word “Young Prince,” has finally gotten the haircut he’s so desperately needed (even more so does he try to ignore the fact that he’d been the one to suggest it). Loki is in black today (surprise, surprise) despite the bright, warm sunshine, and his t-shirt fits snug across his shoulders.

“Nice haircut,” Mobius notes between sips of his ever-warming seltzer.

Loki gives the barest hint of a smile, which is unfortunately one of Mobius’ favorite things, if only because it is one of the few real things about the man.

“Not that you asked, but I stopped by because I have some information for you.”

Mobius sighs. Loki loves claiming to have information, which Mobius more-or-less loves to follow-up on despite the fact that it is unreliable about 85% of the time. Happily enough for Mobius, Loki isn’t a huge fan of his father either, although he is a fan of his father’s money, which doesn’t really work in the IRS’ favor.

“Oh?” Mobius replies, disinterested. “And I’m sure it’s just as helpful as your last little ‘tip’ was.”

“More, actually, and frankly I’m offended by the accusation.”

“I’m sure you are.”

The few seconds that follow would be familiar to anyone who had for whatever reason been observing this strange almost-mating ritual that had been occurring over the years. A comfortably quiet exchange of mutual gazing where Loki secretly admired the bent in Mobius’ nose, and Mobius secretly admired the crinkling around Loki’s eyes when he did that almost-smile he reserved for a lucky few.

Loki clears his throat and reaches across the table for the seltzer, taking a sip whilst decidedly ignoring the look of disbelief on Mobius’ face.

“Excuse me—”

“Yes, excuse you, if you’ll recall I was about to share some very valuable information. The most valuable, you might say.”

The last time Loki interrupted Mobius’ lunch with “valuable information,” he’d wasted an ungodly amount of time and money pursuing a lead (and raiding the office of a rather well-respected Senator) that went nowhere, all because this Senator had made a pointed and correct comment at some rich-person function and Loki has never been able to not take something personally for even one moment in his absurd little life.

“And why should I believe you this time?”

It’s the fidgeting that gives it away—how starts tapping his fingertips against the empty can, his eyes looking anywhere other than at Mobius. That maybe he’s telling the truth this time.

“I’m... tired, I guess.”

“You’re ‘tired.’”

He looks up, briefly, before he returns to this out-of-character bit of looking anywhere else.

“My brother’s off... saving the world,” he starts with a sneer, “Sylvie’s about to have a family—”

“She’s still your family,” Mobius interrupts, “don’t be stupid.”

“But that’s classic me, isn’t it?”

Mobius silently disagrees, but he’s so afraid to burst this bubble of self-awareness—to ruin what has started to feel like a critical, life-changing moment, that he cannot possibly bring himself to speak.

Loki opens his mouth as if he has more to say, but he closes it and places a small black hard drive in the middle of the table instead. When Mobius looks closer, he notices that it’s engraved with a small bolt of lightening. His heart starts to tap in a series quickening, uncomfortable beats. 

“Loki—”

“I’ve had it for a while,” he admits, “if you knew how long you’d probably want nothing more to do with me.”

Mobius has made the moral arguments before; probably to the detriment of the argument itself. That no single man should be able to accumulate so much wealth—that his notoriously stuffy, humorless job is “really important, actually,” and stopping his father could help a lot of people, least of all his own son, and “good god, Loki, what the hell are you even trying to prove?”

“It’s for admittedly selfish reasons,” he continues before Mobius can correct him, “regardless of the final outcome.”

“Why’s that?” Mobius croaks, wishing his tie was just a little bit looser today (so goddamn tight, every single day—)

“Well,” he grins, looking back up at him, finally, “if you’re not undercover, there’s no... what’s the term? ‘Conflict of interest?’”

“Yeah,” Mobius laughs, “yeah, that’s the term.”

Loki pushes the drive across the table. “Take it,” he says, “it’s time you had it.”

"Feels like it should be heavier.”

Loki smirks.

“Shut up.”

Mobius glances at his watch and notices, with surprise, that he’s gone about 5 minutes over his lunch hour.

“Time to go?” Loki asks, the words painted with a nervousness that seems foreign to him.

Agent Mobius has never once returned late from his lunch hour. He respects the agency’s time too much, and what real good has ever come from his lingering? But when he looks back at Loki, who has so recently cut his hair—who suddenly fidgets and appears genuinely nervous, he considers the importance of making exceptions to certain rules. To “loosening his tie,” so to speak. And besides, Bee will cover for him (he’s pretty sure).

“Nah,” Mobius answers, sliding the drive into his coat pocket, “I can be late.”

#loki series #loki #mobius #lokius #loki fic #lokius fic #loki fanfic #lokius fanfic #@hencethewriter #a prince and a bureaucrat flirt in a park #it's a modern au #because i will never fuck with mcu canon for free #also there's a wes anderson reference in here #because of course there is

[becquerelian]

It is time for the TGCF impressions and theories masterpost

I've seen the donghua three times and, now that the official English novel translation is coming out, I figured it could be fun to write all this out before I get any further in the story

MARTIAL GODS

So Nan Feng and Fu Yao are those two martial gods in disguise. I know Fun Yao is Mu Qing but I forget Nan Feng's other name even though he didn't change it that much. They are my favorites; if you've ever heard me say Ling Wen is my favorite. If you've ever heard me say Hua Cheng is my favorite. No you didn't. These two are just angry and mean bastards and that's peak performance.

Prediction that Mu Qing is going to be ride-or-die with Xie Lian but something is going to drive the other dude away. Maybe he's a traitor, I feel like there has to be a betrayal of Xie Lian by someone at some point

Anyway it turns out Pei Jr has to be another favorite of mine, he seems just awful. He is just very calm and composed and probably would no hesitation kill and destroy at any given moment. He's on the verge. When he first shows up and talks to Xie Lian for a bit he's so distant and correct in his manners but if he suddenly decided to snap Xie Lian's spine over his knee like a stick I would not have been surprised. We know he committed massacre before he ascended which makes me wonder what.. the criteria for ascension are? But good for him. Hope you get to go insane again soon king

You can probably tell what my taste in fictional characters is

But despite what this section may have led you to believe, no, I am not going to talk about A-Zhao

XIE LIAN

Xie Lian has a lot of secrets and past selves and even present selves that haven't come to light. I'm not sure he's a Big Pretender but he is at least a little bit of a pretender. He's snarkier and cleverer and possibly more judgemental than he acts like he is. I'm like 99% sure of these things, I'm at least staking all my bets on them being true

Something seems to have caused him to develop a lot of shame -- the crown prince of Xianle and the Xie Lian we're presented with almost appear to be different characters entirely

Something went badly wrong at some point, and it seems to at least partially tie in with the fall of his kingdom. And like.. getting kicked out of heaven again in the length of time that it takes to burn an incense stick sounds funny the first time but the more I think about it the more I'm... sir, what did you do????? And then there's him telling San Lang Oh you know, sinners deserve to be punished 😔🙏 HELLO??????

He's also weirdly, occasionally down for violence?? My man is just okay with Hua Cheng committing mass murder. I don't know what is up with his moral compass or what is in his brain in general. Maybe his moral compass is murder is okay if I or my husband do it. I want to put him in a drop of water on a little slide and study him under a microscope

Related: to be demoted from a lieutenant you have to have done something to become lieutenant in the first place, which is something he seems to have deliberately left out of his little story when talking about his General Hua hours. Actually that story is full of pretty blatant holes. What are you hiding

I don't really know what to make of all this for now. Just a lot of conflicting characterization that I'm not yet sure how to reconcile. I'm very much looking forward to reading the novel and being in his head, because he seems like he's going to be FASCINATING, but in the donghua.. his character doesn't come across with much clarity. I'm assuming this is a problem in the translation from book to show

XIE LIAN'S PAST AND BAI WUXIANG

There's definitely something relating Xie Lian to Bai Wuxiang. I know that the human face disease is what led to the downfall of Xianle and I know that Bai Wuxiang is somehow connected to.. the disease, or that event? I'm not sure if it's necessarily so much that he even caused it, exactly? He kind of seems to be treated almost as a physical representation of or a stand-in for the disease, so maybe not the direct cause of it but very much associated with it. But yeah it makes sense for a scary ghost man to wreak that kind of havoc

They also say that Bai Wuxiang is hundreds of years dead by now but I don't believe that for a second. He probably never died in the first place or maybe died only in a metaphorical sense. I think it very likely that he's still around and just became someone else (maybe literally or maybe same man new identity)

So here's a theory. Xie Lian is Bai Wuxiang? I don't know if that's even possible as a god. But they both.. wear white.... And I can see major angst potential. Being the reason your kingdom fell? Listen: he definitely had a major fall from grace at some point. I can see in this a struggle with trying and ultimately failing to be a good person. Also. Mask. Not only do we not know the identity of Bai Wuxiang, but parallels with Xie Lian's prince mask

Then there's also the emperor. He's probably an if not The antagonist and probably the source of Xie Lian's problems. He just feels like an abusive dad, and a prince is a son of an emperor (be that literal or symbolic). But either way he looks similar to Xie Lian so big likelihood here for misdirection and/or MXTX's famous parallels

What I'm saying is he could also be Bai Wuxiang. Maybe both of them are?! Maybe Bai Wuxiang isn't any specific person at all??!?

I'm also saying that I'm just generally looking forward to getting more of the emperor in season 2 👀 I want to meet the scary man

OTHER CALAMITIES

The intro song lyrics are very good. I was really pleased to find that they're specific to TGCF because that was honestly one of my favorite things about the MDZS donghua; slowly getting a handle on certain terms and themes and then seeing them in the intro. The Realization. Good stuff. I wish that Netflix displayed the translation, not just because having that realization while watching would have added some kick to the experience, but also because it rounds out Hua Cheng's characterization nicely

So here's some character analysis for you: Hua Cheng talks about not wanting to show Xie Lian his true form because "it's ugly" or whatever. Either that's an excuse or it's just misleading. Once again with the shame. Hua Cheng thinking he's not good enough for Xie Lian. Which is understandable given the circumstances under which they first met/came into contact with one another (all this time later after Xie Lian has long since fallen out of favor and Hua Cheng still puts him on a super high pedestal because Xie Lian is still his reason to live and, in his mind, still the good and kind prince of Xianle. I think Hua Cheng also doesn't want Xie Lian to connect the atrocities (re: ugliness) to that little boy), but honestly hilarious given the way they're presented to us, the audience (These powerful forces of good and evil respectively have Self-Esteem Issues)

The things he says on the cart as San Lang I also don't want to discount as lies but more as him being a little tricky. He mentions gouging out his own eye and being kicked out by his family, and with the way that we're shown him as a little kid in flashbacks (bandages over his face, wearing rags and standing out in the rain), I'm betting these are things that happened 800 years ago

Also I think Hua Cheng wants to kill the green ghost and I hope he does it. I, too, hate the green ghost

I just hope Hua Cheng commits some horrible crimes in general over the course of the story and I'm betting that's what season 2 is going to be about. Man and his ghost city:)

I should mention Black Water Sinking Ships too because nominated coolest ghost. I don't know anything about him but I wish I did. There's also the tiny mention of the water tyrant which. Yeah. I couldn't help but be reminded of this man. Wouldn't be surprised if they're the same. It does sound like there's a good bit of corruption in the heavenly realm

BROAD THEMATIC STROKES

Identity is a big recurring theme for sure. Everyone is someone else, whether that be a disguise or a past life or what have you. I don't know where that's going and I'm very curious to see. I'm not sure it's necessarily about deception (most of the time?), maybe it's tied in with something along the lines of self worth/remaking yourself?

TGCF also seems to explore ideas of morality similar to MDZS but slightly to the left; I'm not really sure what the twist is though. There's obviously play with the seemingly harsh divide between heaven/good and the underworld/bad. Here's the direct comparison: MDZS takes the tone of acceptance. To be a person is to do good things and to do bad things, and that isn't something to be ignored. "Evil" is neither inherent nor unusual. Weirdly (given how the besties and I talk about MDZS as the pain show and TGCF as the fluff show lmao), I get the idea that TGCF is more.. pessimistic? Maybe it's bent less on the acceptance and more on the.. I don't know... commiseration?

Sensing the topic of mental health in here too, which is probably why I'm feeling like this one is possibly going to be more pessimistic/darker in tone than MDZS. One big question that I'm betting is going to get tackled is, what do you do when you want an escape? That seems embodied by both Hua Cheng being suicidal and Xie Lian seemingly trying to forget his past and/or reinvent himself.

Thanks @tiabwwtws for talking about this stuff with me and going insane. It's hard for me to make decent predictions because I honestly have no clue where this plot is going, character-driven stuff is easier with what little I know

#TGCF #MXTX #long post #very long post #this got way longer than I thought it would #suicide mention #now I get to go read the novel and see how much clearer it is than the donghua WHOOO #and come back to this in like a year and a half to see how dumb or alternately how big-brained this was

[itsnothingofinterest]

Well it seems once again that people are debating if BNHA as a franchise is entering it’s final strech. Now I understand why people would debate this; because in a lot of ways it really feels like the series is ending soon, but in a lot of other ways it really feels like it isn’t. That’s all been true for a while actually. So I wanna reiterate my stance on things: which is that while I acknowledge points from both arguments, I am firmly in the camp believing the series isn’t ending-ending, and we’re just entering into a new chapter of the series; possibly with a name change now that Deku’s left his Academia.

(Not gonna lie though, that’s mostly because it’s the side I want to take. There really is compelling evidence on both sides.)

I’ve gone over this before from a more neutral perspective (found here); I think I still ended up showing my bias in my work, but I tried my best to show all the points from both sides. But this time I’m deliberately picking a side and going over 2 points for why I don’t think the series is ending soon; 1 relating to All Might, and 1 relating to All for One.

Plotlines. So many plotlines.

One big reason I think the series is gonna be a while still, which I have mentioned before in that post I linked, is that BNHA has a lot of plot lines that it’ll freely let sit for 100+ chapters without addressing. Really gives the impression that big H is writing like he has all the time in the world.

Like, people like to say Uraraka hasn’t been developed in a long time and attribute that to Horikoshi not being able to write women, but the honest truth is that she is not alone in that. Shinsou’s plotline got put on hold for roughly a dozen arcs until Joint Training, it took a while to touch on Kurogiri after he got captured, Tokoyami tends to come and go from importance, and how long did it take us to learn Dabi’s name after he said he was using an alias? And frankly, I could keep going and touch on literally every character who hasn’t had an origin chapter (except of course for the characters who haven’t had any plotlines at all yet). Oh, also Deku’s arms; that was a plotline too.

Ah, but the biggest offender has to be All Might; BNHA’s most main adult character, and that’s including Endeavor. We learned over half the series’ lifespan ago that he was predicted to die at the hands of a villain (probably Shigaraki or AFO); and that incident set up this tension about whether he’ll die as predicted or if he’ll defy his fate. And ever since, his personal plot line has been on pause; as his life has not been in danger once since. Everyone who once had reason to target him is now targeting either Endeavor, the system itself, or both.

It’s true that All Might has had a presence in a supportive role in various other character’s plotlines, and I’m not saying that’s not fitting for his character, but his own plot has been sidelined; and will likely continue to be sidelined until he has reason to reenter the societal stoplight for whatever reason. And considering It seems like the most likely thing to do that is either Endeavor dying (if just metaphorically, don’t panic too much) or society getting even worse than it already is (which would be a feat), that feels a bit far off.

And then there’s actually concluding that plotline, which I imagine will involve at least one fake out. And all the other plotlines, for which there are many. And that’s assuming we don’t get any more plots started up; which feels unlikely when Horikoshi keeps introducing new characters & reintroducing old ones. Mostly villains, the type of characters that drive plots (but there are those international heroes to consider too). And are you starting to see what I mean when I say Horikoshi writes like he has all the time in the world?

Who’s the big bad again?

One big reason I think people believe the end is just beyond the horizon is that AFO is taking center stage as the big bad again. And AFO is a pretty simple villain to deal with, actually; he’s just one guy and, unlike the League, all you have to do to deal with him fully is beat on him until he stops moving. He’s strong, yes, but he’s not even as strong as Shigaraki was in Jaku (even possessed Shigaraki lacks that Shimura spirit that landed AFO in Tartarus in the first place); reserve a handful of chapters for the fight and it’s over.

But the problem is...what would beating him actually accomplish? In the long term I mean; he is a very dangerous man with the moral compass renunciant of an aristocrats joke and a habit of making himself everyone’s problem & encouraging Tomura’s bad habits. But y’know, as far as we know he doesn’t exactly have anything to do with the quirk prejudice motivating Spinner & Toga, or the corrupt hero system motivating Dabi & Shigaraki’s long term goals.

Besides encouraging Tomura’s bad coping mechanisms, All For One just doesn’t have much to do with the villains’ main motivations so he doesn’t actually mean much to them. And to the heroes, he is just another villain; albeit a dangerous one. To both sides, he’s just a hurdle to overcome with an especially punchable shit eating grin, & beating him doesn’t accomplish anything besides getting him off everyone’s back. He has little, if anything, to do with the major themes of the series or conflicts between the main characters; and resolving those conflicts is a much more daunting task.

And that makes sense, because he’s not the real main villain of the series. He’s an important figure of evil, just like All Might is an important figure of good; but the main villain of this series has always been Shigaraki Tomura, and the true source of everyone’s problems has always been the ingrained faults of society that need to be addressed. Any resolution to this series would replate to those elements far more than it would old potato head.

In short, the easy resolution people seem to be looking to doesn’t seem like it would really resolve as much as they really need it too. (Maybe some stuff, depending on how that fight goes down, but not enough.) In fact, I could almost say him being around causing problems of purpose could actually lengthen the series; were it not for the fact that I think we knew all along that he was eventually gonna come back into the picture to cause problems on purpose.

So to summarize:

BNHA has just a stupid amount of stuff going on and a lot is has to do, with more still seeming to be added on to that to-do list. Most notably major characters whose personal storylines don’t really tie into the core conflicts of the series, but nonetheless demand the attention and time of all the other characters and the narrative itself. And all of that just really makes me think there’s a pretty considerable amount of this series left.

#bnha #all might #all for one #analysis #shigaraki tomura #league of villains #lov #endeavor #hero society #uraraka ochako #hitoshi shinsou #fumikage tokoyami #dabi #midoriya izuku #toga himiko #spinner #horikoshi

[veliseraptor]

2020 Fanfiction Round-Up

I do one of these every year! And have since I think 2016. Can’t break a tradition even if it’s been a clusterfuck of a time and filling this out was in some ways an exercise in remembering the ways I have failed myself as a writer this year. 

But oh well!

Total Year-Long Wordcount: I’ll post the final final number tonight after I finish the writing I want to do this afternoon (and plan to do this afternoon), but it’s currently 451,803 words written this year. Guessing I’m going to land somewhere around 453,000ish. (AO3 claims a higher number than that but that’s because it is counting the entirety of fics where I posted chapters this year.

This year I wrote and posted: I wrote a fair number more than I posted (there are five fics finished but for various reasons unposted on my hard drive) but based on Tumblr I posted 78 posts in my fic tag, which, not including chapter specific updates and three sentence meme answers (but including at least two Tumblr-only longer fics), probably comes out to about 60 or so “full length” fics that saw the light of day in 2020.

Overall Thoughts

Looking back, did you write more fic than you thought you would this year, less, or about what you’d predicted? 

Well, I wrote more than I did last year, which is sort of a surprise to me (all things considered) but also maybe not, because I was doing a lot less of most other things that could’ve been occupying my time, including two hours daily of commuting. 

But still less than I did in 2018. Which is fine.

What’s your own favorite story of the year? 

Lord, I don’t know. It depends on when you ask me. Lately I’ve been in a bit of a “I hate everything I’ve written ever” state of mind, so that makes it sort of hard to do any kind of...reasonable assessment. 

I know I’m proud of With Absolute Splendor but I have all these reservations about it and I can’t reread it for the most part because I always notice new things I wish I’d done differently. I feel pretty good about efforts in a common cause but something about it still makes me cringe, which I suspect has to do with my general self-consciousness. I have a hard time feeling unreservedly proud about...anything I wrote this year, really. 

I feel like the closest I get is maybe nor autumn falter which I am pretty pleased with and also which does hurt me a lot personally. Or I did end up overall pretty pleased with what came out of By Proxy.

But also the more I look at this question the more I start hating all my own work, so...guess this is kind of coming at a bad time.

Did you take any writing risks this year? What did you learn from them?

I mean, I started writing in my first non-English fandom in many years, and specifically one where I was trying to engage more with the cultural background of the setting (in a way I wasn’t with, say, Death Note, when I was writing Death Note fic). So that was a risk. And I learned that it’s very stressful and there’s so many ways to make mistakes and I am, in many ways, a coward. But also I think I’ve learned a fair amount thanks to a lot of very patient people on the internet, so...there’s that.

Otherwise...I mean, I got ambitious with a few projects this year (the Big Bang fic and With Absolute Splendor stand out), but I’m not sure how much I really tried new things. 

I feel like I had to fight myself a little on writing straight up bad sex for By Proxy - I planned on it being hot, and it really wasn’t. It was mostly just miserable. Which made for a better fic, but was a new experience for me as far as ‘I thought I was going to write porn and that isn’t what I wrote.’

From my past year of writing, what was….

My most popular story of this year: 

By far, With Absolute Splendor. In fact, it has now become my second most kudosed fic of all time, behind only fuckin Life in Reverse. So like. That’s a thing.

(It is still less than half as many as Life in Reverse, but for context Life in Reverse has been around for going on eight years.)

Most fun story to write: 

Most fics where I feel like “I’m having so much fun writing this!” also go through a “oh god I hate this it’s terrible” phase which makes this sort of hard to assess. But I did have overall a lot of fun writing Mutual Friends despite all my frustration with the canon-wrangling I had to do to make it work in my head. 

But also I feel like both Retributive Justice and Embedded were in different ways deeply iddy fics that were just fun to write. That actually goes for a lot of the Whumptober fics. That was a very self-indulgent month. Excited to do it again in February (hopefully, if I can write things in a timely manner at all).

Story with the single sexiest moment: 

I feel like the beauty of your repair might be my personal favorite smut I posted this year, but I think my personal favorite that I wrote is in the big bang fic nobody will see until January. 

I feel like most of the sexiest moments I’ve written this year are in the porn fics I’m going to start posting in January also. But just generally I feel like the beauty of your repair is the sexiest thing I wrote and posted.

Most “Holy crap, that’s wrong, even for you” story: 

I mean, I Come With Knives is definitely up there. It’s not that wrong or anything, but it got pretty intense in some ways I wasn’t expecting. Mostly in how much blood got involved, which was actually more than I’d had it involved in a sex thing before! Kind of surprises me that I haven’t previously done more with bloodplay stuff but. Well. First time for everything!

I don’t think this was a year that really had any “wow, what the fuck, Lise” things in it. Nothing on the level of last year’s winner. I’m almost disappointed in myself.

Abattoir was definitely the story that generated the weirdest conversation and creepiest search questions, though, so it does get points for that. 

Story that shifted my own perceptions of the characters: 

I feel like the writing of everyone else is spring bound was a lot of...me thinking through my Jiang Cheng feelings and specifically my Jiang Cheng post-canon feelings. 

the martyr, the victim was pretty formative in shaping how I think about both Lan Xichen and Lan Wangji and their relationship with each other. It was the first fic I wrote that really dug into them in any way, I think, and definitely one that informed how I thought about writing Lan Xichen later.

Hardest story to write: 

I was thinking it was the one that I haven’t posted yet but I did technically finish, aka my Big Bang fic, the terrible threesome fic, the massive “I’m gonna keep everyone in the Yi City arc alive” AU that I started shortly after finishing The Untamed and finished in December. So I spent most of the year writing it.

But then I was like - no, I’m going to have to go with we live until we die even though it’s technically been ‘in progress’ for five years and really kicked into gear in 2019 and I just finished it and posted it this year, because that fic was like. The culmination of a big arc in an enormous verse dealing with a whole lot of balls in the air and trying to tie up a whole lot of threads. It was ambitious and the stakes were high and it was full of plot and action which are not two of my strengths...frankly I’m still amazed I pulled the damn thing off.

Biggest Disappointment: 

I think it is better if I refrain from going too in depth on this because it would just end up as me listing a bunch of my perceived failings. But I think off the top of my head I’m frustrated by the fact that I still haven’t really managed to write a XueXiao smut fic that quite hits the spot for me, myself. I’ve written two and for various reasons I don’t really like either of them. 

Biggest Surprise: 

The fact that my Jiang Cheng fic took off the way it did. Legitimately did not see that coming! At all! I mean, I’m delighted by it but it wasn’t what I saw happening as far as “niche I’d find in this fandom” or “thing I’d write that people would really enjoy reading.”

Particularly with By Proxy. That fic got a lot more attention than I would’ve expected. 

Most Unintentionally Telling Story: 

I feel like every fic I write with Xue Yang in it tells you something about me and most of those things are things that make me, on some level, deeply self-conscious, but I try not to think about that too much.  

I feel like the most telling story is maybe we all drift sometimes because I literally wrote it out of a depressive episode about a bad brain day but that wasn’t unintentional.

Favorite Opening Line(s):

1. So it turned out that if you touched the tendons of a dead person’s wrist and channeled a little bit of spiritual energy just right, it made the fingers twitch and curl like they were still alive. (Abattoir)

2. Here’s the thing: your Daozhang is glorious when he kills. (tear out all your tenderness)

3. Turned out that a sect leader’s head came off like anyone else’s. (Unnatural Selection)

4. The first hint that anything had gone awry was the letter from Lan Wangji (His Excellency Hanguang-jun, pardon me) that simply said have you heard from Wei Ying? (some good mistakes)

5. What Jiang Cheng wanted to do, more than anything, was to go home and take a nap. (everyone else is spring bound)

Favorite Line(s) from Anywhere:

I usually keep this to 10 but because I’ve been in such a :| place about my own writing I indulged myself this once.

1. Sometimes it felt like all he had done since descending the mountain was shatter his own dreams and accumulate regrets. (nor autumn falter)

**

2. It felt like she was holding all the components of a bomb in her hands, half assembled. If she moved the right way they would stay just that: components. But if she moved the wrong way… (til my judgment day)

**

3. He should have killed him. Should have been the one to strike that blow, in revenge for Jin Zixuan and their sister and everyone else dead for Wei Wuxian’s pride. Maybe then there would not be this gnawing, aching thing embedded in his chest; this itching, unfinished feeling. Maybe then he would not feel torn in two, sometimes like he should have reached out with his other hand and sometimes like he should have struck truer and sometimes both, in the same moment. (Interstitial)

**

4. He owed Wei Wuxian more than he could ever give back in this lifetime. Forgiving him felt like betraying his sister’s memory. Not forgiving him felt like trying to walk with a thorn in his foot. He was just - stuck, caught like a demon in a spiritual net.

Jiang Cheng thought of the way Wei Wuxian looked at Lan Wangji, with warmth and trust and love, and the aching, sick jealousy he had no right to feel returned. He felt a little like a child watching someone pick up a toy he’d abandoned and suddenly realizing that he wanted it back. (everyone else is spring bound)

**

5. You close your eyes and think about how he looked back in that town, Shuanghua slicing clean through a man’s neck, opening it to the spine, and think dizzily that he could open you like that and it’d be good, as long as it lasted. (tear out all your tenderness)

**

6. When Wangji loved, he loved with his whole being, without reserve. And now he had been placed between the rock of his convictions and the hard place of his devotion to Wei Wuxian. (the martyr, the victim)

**

7. He spent a week turning the idea over in his head. Studying it like a corpse he was going to dissect, poking at it, cutting it open and examining its insides. (dead reckoning)

**

8. When the world hurt you, that was the only thing to do, after all. Hurt it back, harder, worse. Spill rivers of blood for every drop it squeezed from you.

And when the end came, never go quietly. (the blood in your mouth)

**

9. I would stand with you through the end of the world, said Loki’s voice in his head, and Steve’s heart wasn’t in his chest anymore, was somewhere off on another planet where Loki was lying dead in a ruined city. (we live until we die)

**

10. Was it always going to be like this? Stumbling into traps, tripping over familiar skeletons, slicing himself open on the edges of old hurts. Was there really such a thing as leaving the past behind? He still felt stuck in it, unable to move, and every time he thought he might be finally dragging himself free something pulled him back. (With Absolute Splendor)

**

11. His chest was full of poison. His throat was full of grief. And he was still a little drunk.

Jiang Cheng went to his room, sat down on his bed, put his face in his hands, and cried until he couldn’t breathe. (By Proxy)

Top 5 Scenes from Anywhere You Would Choose to Have Illustrated:

I think the scene from nor autumn falter of Xiao Xingchen just crying his heart out over Xue Yang’s dead body would be up there.

The Jiang Cheng and Wei Wuxian hug from the end of With Absolute Splendor.

Okay, just gonna say it: Xue Yang and Jin Guangyao having sex by the table with Nie Mingjue’s headless corpse on it. So sue me.

The scene in the blood in your mouth where Song Lan has stabbed Xue Yang and Xiao Xingchen is following the line of Fuxue to the latter. I have a very clear visual of it in my head and if I could art I’d art it.

Xue Yang with the hallucinatory Xiao Xingchen from liberate spirits, liberate souls.

Fic-writing goals for 2021:

Finish Walking Far From Home.

Maybe I’ll finish some of these MCU WIPs? I’d kind of like to, on an abstract level if nothing else.

Become a more well-adjusted human being about the relationship between my productivity and my self-worth.

#fanfiction round up #confessions of a frustrated writer #you'll get my fun statistical analysis nonsense later

[wolf-with-a-pen]

Knockin’ On Heaven’s Door Part 1

TW: Death, Unreality, Swearing, Main Character Death, Angst?

Masterpost, Next

Tell me if I have missed a trigger warning, ask if you would like me to tag this with anything, and I hope you enjoy.

If you don't like any of the triggers above, this is sort of a prequel so you can skip to Part 2, unless you don't like angst, then it is even worse.(Edit:Looking at part 2 its worse, and you don't lose many of the above so just dont read it I guess.)

Word Count: 3962

FOR EDWARD it was a normal day. Well as normal and as close to a day as you could get in heaven. Everything merged into one- nobody knew how long they had been there, and nobody could know unless they saw the passing of the days in the simulation they called "Earth". There were few who remembered, and even less you could approach or talk to without putting yourself in danger. Edward was not one of these. They were unable to see Earth- or even anything other than the blank canvas created for the angels to roam, a few small civilisations created by the guardians for those who were more homesick the only solid thing on the landscape. Nobody knew why it was that way. Nobody dared ask. Everyone ignored it, hoping that it would not hurt them. It didn't for the most part. But then you could say the same about the Guardian Angels.

Cruel and soulless were the most common words used to describe the Guardians, and they were right on one count- they had no soul. Most people didn't remember the personalities of the people before due to most of the Guardians being the originals. The few that weren't were the first few to arrive from the simulation, to what they deemed to be "heaven". And so, the simulation continued. Even after death. The few that did remember the Guardian's original selves were so withdrawn you could not find them if you tried. They were the only ones that knew what happened to turn all of the people like that. But they refused to answer, they knew something that was so dangerous, if they told someone they would die. So, they didn't. Everyone wondered. Nobody realised that they would find out. Nobody could have predicted it.

It was the 4th of May. For once Edward knew that. But then, every now and then they paid a visit to one of the old ones. Just to visit, check in on them. Most knew one or two and how to find them. Some became friends. Some of those searching disappeared. It was the way it was. No, the day was definitely the 4th. He remembered that vividly - who could forget with what happened that day. It started as per usual- with Ansel being an idiot as usual. After being abruptly woken up, they managed to shout a few swearwords to get him out of their room, and laid back down. Well, as well as you can when you and your bed is soaked. “Again?” they thought clambering out of bed and heading into the bathroom. “I guess it’s one of the downsides of siblings.” For Ansel was his younger brother- not by much mind you, but he still enjoyed pranking and annoying his sibling at any chance he got. Edward didn’t really mind. Not that much. Sure, he was a pain, but they loved him more than they would admit. Once they managed to dry themself off (for the third time that week) they got dressed, and ready. One of the downsides of heaven is every surface is blank and almost certainly not reflective- nobody knew what they looked like except from other’s perspectives or how they remember what they looked like on Earth. Edward died long enough ago they forgot what they looked like. They didn’t mind though. It doesn’t really matter when you’re trapped in a void.

“Idiot,” Edward reprimanded jokingly, ruffling Ansel’s short wavy hair.” If you weren’t my brother you would be dead by now.”

“Is that a threat?”

“So what if it is?”

"You know you won't win Mx Long Neck. "

"Don't be so sure Mr Witch Hazel. "

"Now you have done it!" Ansel smirked, running head first into Edward, knocking him to the ground with his force. Within minutes they were both laid on the floor in a pile on top of each other, exhausted and looking rather dishevelled - no serious wounds beyond some of Edward's pride (as predicted, he lost). It would heal pretty quickly. It always did. Well, usually.

"You win this time, but I will win eventually. That is a warning." Edward threatened, smiling.

"Maybe, but not any time soon."

"Don't be so sure." Edward replied." You ready to go? "

"Yeah, just need to put the gifts in the basket."

"OK, I'll help. "

They stood up, Ansel springing to his feet, Edward taking more time.

"Hurry up, the quicker we leave the quicker we can see Jojo"

"Excited are we?" Edward teased.

"Of course I am, we only see him once in a while."

"Come on then, we've got a Jojo to meet."

It was an hour later they arrived, gifts and food in tow. It always took too long in Ansel's opinion, but that was the way Joseph liked it- to live on the outskirts of society. His house was out of the way, and cosy looking, almost like a cottage. It was short and thatched - similar looking to a Victorian house but in cottage form. Outside there were plentiful flowers, almost always in bloom. Having no seasons did have its benefits. Gardening was always easy and possible. Plants always looked healthy. Jojo (as his friends called him) took this to his advantage. A quaint little chimney was always spilling out smoke, even when the fire was off. Edward always felt at home and loved the little place. It always reminded them of their childhood home. Joseph himself, was an older man- he had managed to live until his body gave up of old age. It showed on his face- it was slightly more weathered and worn than some of the others and he looked like he had seen a lot. Despite all this, when he entered heaven he was reverted back to closer to how he looked when he was most happy, therefore he had the appearance of a teenager, twinged with some of the feature of an older man. He wore a wide brimmed hat on his mop of dark brown hair, which framed his emerald eyes. Always, he would wear on a short sleeved shirt with long trouser shorts.

Quickly, they walked up to the front door, eager to see one of their few friends- most people couldn't handle their personalities. Knocking, they heard Danny, Jojo's grandfather's childhood best friend and Great Dane begin to bark: clearly he was as excited to see them as they were to see him. Before Joseph could even get to the door, Danny had managed to open the door- one of his many talents- and jumped up at the pair, resting his paws on their shoulders and giving them a thorough 'hello'. "Hello boy," Edward murmured, in the way all people do when talking to animals and children. "I've missed you too.

"Danny! Let our guests come in! I'm sure they don't want to stand in the doorway all day." A familiar voice rang out, Danny instantly obeying, running back inside and sitting by the sofa. "It’s good to see you again, although the gap was a little bit longer than last time. Anyway, come on in, we have a lot of time on our hands, and a lot to catch up on."

"Thank you Joseph, " Edward replied, always polite as possible.

"Thanks Jojo," replied Ansel who was not.

Both entered the house, bringing the gifts and placing them in the hallway, before entering the living room and sitting down. It was how they remembered it. The sofa was opposite a brick looking fireplace and against the wall of the old wooden stairs, which lead to the front door. In front of them was a rug, square and red on the wood floor, with an armchair at each end. To the left was door, leading directly to the dining room, and to the right was a window, with an immediate view of the garden and the void around them. The rest of the house was a mystery to them- they didn't need to go in there so they didn't. Ansel secretly wanted to but he was sensible enough to not try to sneak around and see what Jojo was hiding.

It was a few hours later when he had asked. “What day is it Jojo?” Ansel inquired, “I assume you know.”

“Of course I know,” Jojo replied, unfazed by his straight to the point nature,” but do you want to come and see for yourself this time?”

“Would I!”

“If you wouldn’t mind it Jojo, I think we would both like that,” Edward inputted

“Sure, I don’t mind. Come on let’s go, heel Danny.” Jojo commanded, standing up and heading for the door. Danny sprung up and followed, looking expectantly at the pair of brothers, both of whom were excited, once he had caught up to his master. He knew he wasn’t his original master, but knew he was as close as he would get, and adopted him as his own, obeying every command. Edward and Ansel followed close behind as they set out on their trip. Once they left the house, Jojo warned them not to touch anything over the other side and not to get too close or it would alert the Guardians to their presence. They both agreed not to. Only one would remember. Carrying just a small picnic they set off, covering large amounts of blank flat ground in just a short time- they went through areas they had never seen before, met some people in the other civilisations before finally arriving at the final outpost, an intimidating tower and wall separating heaven, hell and earth. It was one of the only textured buildings in the entire place and was a distinctive shade of mauve that instantly drew the eye. At the front it had a window not dissimilar to that of a drive-through.

“Brought your apprentices this time Joseph?” questioned the guard, an intimidating but polite woman from within the window. Behind her was a smaller person, attempting to hide behind its short bob length hair, wearing clothes most of the angels wouldn’t dare wear (although they are allowed to wear anything, most avoid black and darker colours due to guardians not liking them). It was wearing a black shirt with a lilac ascot and black jeans. Edward hadn’t seen anything like it around the area, and for some unknown to them reason, found that comforting. They ignored that thought.

“Yes, I have,” Jojo replied, turning to Edward and Ansel. “Edward, Ansel, meet Biff and behind her is Isi, the recordkeeper for all of the people who cross the border. Isi, Biff, meet Edward Longneck Smith and Ansel Caitlyn-Rose Smith."

"Pleasure to meet you," Edward stated.

"Hi!" Ansel exclaimed, "You look cool!"

"Thank you," Biff replied, "it's a pleasure to meet you too."

"Hi," Isi timidly replied. "It’s nice to meet you. We don't usually see new faces around here. I have marked you all down, you can go through now if you're ready."

Joseph thanked them, before moving to the door and turning around. "Come on you two."

Edward and Ansel followed quietly.

Across the border was nothing like they were expecting or had ever seen. A spherical plain room, bright white on one side (the side they came through) and black on the other opposite them. In between those two sides, were the realms the demons and angels watched over, one that was instantly recognisable to them as earth, and about 3 visible other realms that none of them could name. Ansel was left speechless by the wonders he saw- a rare occurrence- and both could barely believe what they saw in some of the other realms. But most of all they saw themselves. For the first time in what seemed to them forever, they could see their reflection in the sphere.

Both studied themselves, memorising their appearance, knowing they might not get this chance again. Edward had a medium brown mop of hair, slightly curly and quite long, especially in comparison to Ansel, whose hair was shorter and a light copper brown, though it was still wavy. Both had brown eyes – Edwards a startling bronze-amber colour, Ansel’s a more chocolate brown, but still had an amber undertone that couldn’t be ignored. One thing Edward had remembered is why they got their nickname- Longneck. Both had normal necks, but Edward’s was slightly (honestly, quite a bit) longer, and to them it was noticeable. Ansel’s face was rounded, but Edward noticed theirs was slightly more defined. Looking down, they saw their clothing: white jeans and a grey button up shirt, with a pair of fairly plain dark grey trainers, that looked pretty worn.

At this point, they looked back to where their brother’s reflection was, only to be met by the abyss. “Look Longboi, it’s Ash!” They heard from behind them. “And she’s visiting our graves!”

“Wait, really?” Edward blurted out, shocked that it would show them someone they knew, and that they actually remembered them. Quickly, they turned on their heels and sprinted over to where Ansel was now stood, staring intently through the sphere. “Wow, it really is her.”

“I know, didn’t she hate us at one point?

“Yeah, but once I died I watched her and they appeared to regret what she did.”

“That’s good, she finally understands her actions have consequences, and not everything is about them.”

“Yeah. Shame she didn’t learn it earlier, I wouldn’t have objected to being friends with them, her personality was nice when she wasn’t being an asshole.”

“I noticed that too.”

Down below Ash was crouched down, placing flowers on the two graves next to each other. Their eyes were a similar shade of brown to Ansel, but her hair was a much darker brown and straight, cut at shoulder length except for a centre parted fringe. Black was all they were wearing, I mean it is typical of people to wear black when in mourning or to pay respects, but it was a change – most people hadn’t seen her in anything other than bright colours, and the two had never seen her in anything so not revealing as what they were. Instead of her old show-all-the-skin-possible outfit, she was wearing a dress, still short but more concealing, and it was simpler than the outfits they remembered. “I am sorry. I hurt you, and why? Just because I was jealous. I apologise for all I did to you, and I promise in the two years you have been gone, I have changed.” Ash stated.

“Only two years?!” They exclaimed, surprised at the lack of time they had spent there.

“Yes, only two years.” Jojo answered.

“Wow.” Ansel murmured.

“I forgive you,” Edward stated, towards Ash despite knowing that she wouldn’t hear. They turned around and begun to study the other realms. “Can you tell me a bit more about these realms I haven’t seen Jojo?”

“Of course Edward, which do you want to start with?”

Ansel had zoned out at this point, drawn towards the portal to Earth. “It wouldn’t hurt if I go through it. Just for a second to tell Ash we forgive her, and then come back. They wouldn’t notice, I mean they are distracted.” Ansel thought. He made sure that nobody was watching, before tentatively stepping through the portal. Quickly he said “I forgive you” and left before Ash could notice he was there. When he got back, he saw Ash looking around her, before quickly leaving, spooked by his voice. He saw Edward looking and knew he was in trouble, but not how deep he was from that one small action. I mean, it was harmless, wasn’t it? He re-joined the group and acted as if he had been there the whole time.

When Edward has a chance to confront their brother, it was an hour or two later- Jojo had walked them through everything he knew about the 4 realms, or as much as he was able to in the time they had, and as such left them no time to talk to him. It was on the way home that the had a chance- Jojo led them to a park before heading home to get a picnic for them, as a reward for accompanying him. “Why did you disobey him? He said not to touch anything or go into the other realms.”

“I don’t know why, I just felt drawn to it in a weird way.”

“I believe you, you wouldn’t lie about something like this, but just be glad that nobody else saw, if you were found out, you would be in massive trouble, not just with Jojo, but with the border guards and also possibly the Guardians. Be more careful. I don’t want to lose you.” Edward lectured, but that sort of lecture you know is for your protection- the kind that you know is sensible and are likely to follow.

“I promise now, nothing like this will ever happen again.”

“Thank you.”

The rest of the “day” was pretty peaceful and happy- they ate the picnic, played a bit in the park, and traipsed home, dropping Jojo and Danny at their home, before starting back themselves, taking their time for once. That was one of the good things. And one of the few things Edward would remember. However, to Edward that walk felt like agony. They had a feeling that something very, very bad would happen. The kind that can’t be averted, only postponed.

Once they got home, they could already tell something was wrong- for one, the door to the house was unlocked and open despite being locked when they left. Second the note taped across the entire doorway was kind of a bad omen. Only one group of people communicated that way. If you received one, you were unlikely to return. Ever. Edward signalled for Ansel to stay where he was, before carefully walking towards the house, stopping just about where they could read the note. “Ansel Caitlyn-Rose Smith must come to the Guardian’s temple as soon as possible.” Edward instantly felt fear flood through his body, adrenaline joining it shortly after. “Ansel, they know!”

“Wait, what?!”

“They! Know! Ansel! They have summoned you!”

“No, they can’t. They can’t can they. So that means..?”

“I’m scared that the answer to that is yes.”

“No, I don’t want to. I don’t want to. I can’t. I just can’t. I don’t want to become like them.”

“I don’t want you to become like them. Not now, not ever. But if you don’t go it may be worse for you. You may end up gone with no hope of recovery. It is better you go and face the current consequences than disobey further and get punished worse. I am sorry, there is no way out- they can track you through all of the realms. I can’t promise you you’ll be safe, but I can promise I will find a way to fix this place, and save you, even if it kills me.”

“Alright. It makes sense. I still don’t like it. But it makes sense. Can we spend some time together before I go?”

“Yes, Ansel, want to go inside and watch some TV before you go?”

“Please.”

It was at this point they both trudged indoors, attempting to keep how fearful and emotional they were from each other, because both of them knew that Ansel would be lucky to make it out alive. That was the guardian’s way. Both knew this. The tension was thick enough you could cut it with a knife. If Ansel wasn’t so worried, he probably would have tried. But he didn’t.

“I am going with you,” Edward insisted.

“You sure?” Ansel tentatively asked.

“Nothing could dissuade me.”

“Thank you Longneck.”

“You’re welcome Witch Hazel.”

They set off, through the village. All of the people had seen, all of them knew one or both of them had been summoned. Most looked with pity. Or anger. Or disappointment. Or all of them. Or none of them. But they were all there. Watching as they traipsed into the distance. Wondering if anyone would come back. Wondering if they did come back – would they still be the same people.

It took a long time to reach the Guardian’s court. For the siblings, not long enough. Anything to drag out the experience, the walk up to the place they may not return from. It was a towering Parthenon-style building, built in glowing white and much larger than it needed to be. At the entrance stood 2 statues of what they presumed to be some of the different interpretations from the different realms they ruled of what an “angel” looked like. As they got closer they realised they were not statues as such; they moved and talked as if they were alive. Once they got to the door, they tried to enter the building, but failed. The angels stopped them. Pointing to Ansel, they boomed “Only he may pass.”

“I guess this is where we part.”

“I guess it is.”

“See you on the other side.”

“Yeah, I guess.” Ansel murmured, before crossing the blockade created.

“Ansel, I’ll miss you,” Edward spoke out loud, as they watched him disappear from view.

Normally, Edward would have stopped there and waited, but today they felt braver than usual. Probably because they knew their brother was at risk, but they decided to return the favour of doing something stupid and reckless. Guessing from the way the angels were made, they were unable to move, and so as long as they stayed out of range of them, they could sneak in through the side of the building. Making sure the angels believed they were walking off, back where they came from, they circled around to the side of the building, gaining a view of inside the building. All of the guardians were in a circle around Ansel, who was looking rather like a deer in the headlights. Most of the people Edward didn’t recognise, but one they recognised from visits and checks on the village. The one thing the guardians had in common- their eyes were pure white, no pupil or iris. Apart from that, they were anyone. All different ethnicities, ages and genders. All different. All to be feared. Edward watched on as they all linked hands, creating a barrier around all of them, one that they could see, but not touch or get anywhere close to. Glowing white tendrils surrounded all of them, snaking threateningly inwards- towards Ansel. Eventually they all linked together forming a bubble around him that gradually shrank around him, disappearing from view, before bursting back out again. Only this time, the bubble was filled with a glowing ball of light, that blinded anyone who could see it. It disappeared into the sky, leaving Ansel laying on the floor.

Intimidatingly, a creepy voice boomed “Now you have lost your soul, rise Guardian Ansel and join us.” The body on the floor, snapped open it’s eyes, revealing a lack of pupil and iris, with a chilling look, before calmly standing up and facing the voice, which Edward could not see the face of. Floating, the new Guardian made its way into the crowd, joining it in standing to attention. “Now then, go find more suitable candidates, we need to expand the army if we want to destroy earth and hell. Soon, all of the realms shall be ours, and nobody will be left to fight back.”

“Yes master,” replied all of the Guardians in union, instantly setting off to perform their wishes.

Edward couldn’t look anymore, and they knew if the guardians found them they’d be in trouble, so they turned and left. Alone and hurt. No family left.

#Knockin' On Heaven's Door #tw death #tw main character death #tw swearing mention #tw unreality #tw angst #original content

[suki-schiffer]

Thoughts on Rule of Wolves

A compilation of my raw initial thoughts and feelings after reading Rule of Wolves by Leigh Bardugo, sequel to King of Scars, seventh book in the Grishaverse. I just finished reading Rule of Wolves (RoW) yesterday and wanted to get some of my unaltered thoughts and feelings on paper before they become influenced by rereads and by being exposed to others’ opinions. There’s little rhyme or reason to this, it jumps all over the place, I’m not taking the time to check spellings etc. also, spoilers.

I am probably evaluating all the Grishaverse (GV) books a little too harshly because I can’t help but compare them to the Six of Crows (SoC) series which were the first books from the GV that I read. The whole reason I picked up King of Scars (KoS) last year was because I wanted more of that joy I got from SoC, only when I started reading KoS did I realize that the GV books aren’t just set in the same universe but have intertwining plots and characters at which point I realized I’d ruined the Shadow and Bone (S&B) series for myself but I did go back and read that too even though it definitely would not have been something I would have picked up if it had no connection to the other books. The S&B series wasn’t bad, it just wasn’t my cup of tea, as it truly was a YA series with characters that were pretty one dimensional being driven by pure motives down a predictable plot. Many of these characters make a reappearance in KoS and RoW and while they have a bit more dimension to them now they are still too pure, too perfect, and my feelings about them from previous series still stuck.

I don’t like Zoya. I didn’t like her when I first read about her is SoC and I really hated her after reading S&B. Those feelings were hard to cast off when she becomes a slightly better person in KoS/RoW but the entire time I couldn’t help but think she was undeserving not just of being a main character but of being a member of the Grisha Triumvirate, of being Nikolai’s love interest, of that ridiculous amount of power, and of becoming Ravka’s queen. I felt like her “backstory” was rather forced to try to make us like her more. Like oh, how sweet, she has a secret garden with a plant for everyone she’s lost. She still came off as a bitch. I honestly still don’t know what drives her. In S&B first it’s her desire for power and beauty and the Darkling’s attentions then when her aunt is killed she joins Alina maybe for revenge? But other than Alina asking for her to be part of the Triumvirate I didn’t really know why she was in that role don’t know how or why she agreed to become Nikolai’s general, because she loved him? Or perhaps it’s because she’s still just power hungry wanting to lead the Grisha, wanting to lead the army, wanting to lead the nation?

Disregarding my feelings for Zoya, her power increase in KoS and RoW is ridiculous. How is it that she is the only Grisha (save perhaps the now dead saints) who can break down matter small enough to draw power from every order? You’re telling me that this girl manages to do this after a few weeks with Juris but people like Baghra or the Darkling who are hundreds of years old and significantly stronger and were actively trying to strengthen themselves couldn’t do this? Ilya Morozova, the Darkling’s grandfather, did all kinds of experiments, dabbling in merzost, how is it the Darkling, in all the years he spent waiting for a sun summoner, not at least dabble in the other orders in attempt to summon sun himself? If you were to rank characters by power on a scale of one to ten I would have said the Darkling was a ten but Zoya blows that scale out of the water when she becomes the dragon, a character this powerful just feels wrong. Not to mention she didn’t even really work for this power, she trains with Juris for a bit in the Fold and then makes his scales into fetters, there was no years of study and practice or meditation, no struggle, just bam! Power.

So yes, still don’t like Zoya and I think her character arc, if you will, decreased the quality of the book.

Again, I’m comparing things to SoC but in comparison RoW was rather predictable. There were definitely a few twists I didn’t see coming and a few questions that were left unanswered but with SoC I was constantly guessing at what would go wrong, what the new plan was, I was constantly on my toes. That constant guessing kept me interested, by comparison I was at times bored with this book, if I put a book down (mid-chapter even!) to scroll through Tumblr or watch Youtube videos or do something else for the sake of enjoyment before finishing that book that’s a sign it isn’t all that interesting, and that’s what I was doing with RoW.

It was just too predictable. Like oh no, the Darkling tricked you into meeting Alina and Mal, got his power back, and fled, who’d’ave guessed it? What’s this? Hanne ended up getting too much attention and might be forced to marry the prince, Rasmus, of Fjerda because of it? Ehri’s guards make another attempt on her life? Nikolai weasels his way out of marrying Ehri because his true love is Zoya, no way! Joran, this young Druskelle who is for some reason being punished by having to be Rasmus’ guard is the one who killed Matthias? Oh and why is guarding Rasmus a punishment when he could be the hope of getting Fjerda to end the war? Because he’s an abusive shit who hates feeling weak so he tries to make others feel weaker, didn’t see that one coming, nope, definitely not.

Now for a few of the things that surprised or confused me that I’m still sort of confused about. Let’s start near the beginning with the Fold suddenly, not so much as expanding as just, appearing in different places all over the world with seemingly no rhyme or reason. I didn’t really get how a pocket dimension existed within the Fold in the first place or how the saints got trapped in it but apparently breaking out of it allowed the Fold to take on a will of its own whereas it had previously been stable for hundreds of years. Also the Darkling not having any powers after leaving the Fold was confusing, I shouldn’t necessarily say “any” because he seemed to have been able to make subtle changes to Yuri’s body to make it look more like his own but I didn’t understand how his power could seemingly enter his body granting him control and consciousness but then he not have any power until he gets Mal and Alina’s blood (also wasn’t clear what he did with the blood, did he just have to touch it, did he stab all three of their hands so the blood mingled?). This just sort of felt unnecessary and that it was just a means to pull Alina et al back into the story.

In KoS it was implied that the use and existence of Jurda Parem was the reason Nikolai’s monster came back and the saints now had enough power to create miracles to entice them to the Fold and draw them into the pocket world, this theory is never mentioned again. Can you tell I’m just really confused about everything related to that pocket world?

Speaking of that interaction with Alina and co I was honestly hoping Yuri might have a bit more of a role in the story. Yuri had seemed sort of willing to let the Darkling use him as a vessel and Nikolai discovering he was still in there with the “there’s something in your beard” line didn’t clue me into the fact that there could be more to this because I assumed he was still on the Darkling’s side. But then he tries to warn Alina of what he’s about to do and I thought, oh, maybe he has second thoughts, maybe there’s going to be a fight now for control of the body and Yuri might be able to stop the Darkling from doing something sinister by fighting back at the right moment. Alas, he goes back to singing the Darkling praises. I get that Yuri is a bad guy but I still kind of felt bad for him, not enough to care about his wellbeing, at least not until the very end because as far as I’m aware Yuri was still in his body with the Darkling when the Darkling decided to have a bit of a redemption arc by condemning himself to an eternity of pain to close the Fold and keep it closed. As far as I’m concerned the Darkling deserves that fate, Yuri doesn’t.

Speaking of the Darkling taking control of another’s body another thing I was left wondering about happened in one of Nina’s earlier chapters when the new Wellmother from the convent Nina and Hanne had been at arrives at the Ice Court to accuse Hanne of worshipping the Saints instead of Djel. At the end of this chapter the Wellmother’s eyes are described as slate grey, I’ve only ever heard the Darkling’s eyes be described that way. I really thought that the Darkling was just pretending to be powerless and had actually developed a new power of taking over other’s bodies and he was just biding time by gathering intel and causing chaos this way, I thought this might have also been how he was creating the mini-Folds all over the world (look I know they had a Ravkan name that roughly translated to vampire but I’m not going back into the book to find the spelling and calling them vampires just... no). I was so concerned for Nina, here this woman is claiming to actually be part of the Ravkan spy network and that Nikolai needs her to get close to Demidov Lantsov. This order made no sense because Nikolai knew he wasn’t a Lantsov and the existence of another Lantsov doesn’t mean much, as long as the people think Nikolai is the legitimate son of the former king and queen then he outranks every other individual with Lantsov blood in terms of succession. Also if this were a legitimate request it seems like there would have been much easier and safer ways to communicate this than have someone come from across the country making false claims against Hanne that could put her under suspicion thus limiting Nina’s ability to move. I thought this was therefore some sort of trap to expose Nina, and potentially Hanne, and the fact that nothing came of it left me confused. We never see this Wellmother character again, Nina does not get exposed, when we get the Darkling’s POV in the second part of the book he mentions nothing of this encounter nor is it suggested that he actually has such a power.

I then thought perhaps if the Darkling survived and was now in Yuri’s body perhaps this was his mother, Baghra, come back to life as well. Then we get thrown a random line during one of the Darkling’s chapters where he mentions the existence of a half-sister that was also declared a saint that I don’t recall hearing about before this instance, in fact I’m pretty sure Baghra said something in the Spinning Wheel about only having one child because she didn’t want a repeat of what happened to her and her sister and that she didn’t even remember who Aleksander’s father was so if the Darkling knows of this half-sister we would assume it’s Baghra’s child. Apparently though this sister was referenced in the only GV book I haven’t read being Language of Thorns (just a side note RoW is said to be the seventh book in GV but if you include The Lives of Saints and The Language of Thorns it is actually the ninth). I could be wrong, maybe Baghra never said anything about her son being her only child, or maybe this is another case of Bardugo altering things between series. She did this with Nina’s backstory because in SoC when Matthias talks about courting her properly and having dinner with her family she said that she hadn’t seen them in years since she went to the Little Palace but in KoS and RoW she’s an orphan who grew up in an orphanage and doesn’t remember her parents. Point being, after that line I thought the Wellmother might have been the Darkling’s half-sister since she had claimed to have been a spy in Fjerda for thirteen years which would mean she’d been there since before the events of S&B, if that is true then it likely couldn’t be Baghra. I’m still hung up on this character though, for all the reasons outlined, yet the KoS series is over and she only made one appearance so maybe she just was a spy with slate grey eyes.

As mentioned previously I knew Nikolai wasn’t going to marry Ehri but I didn’t realize Genya and David were going to be the ones getting married, or maybe “renewal of vows” would be a better term. I’m perfectly content to have this come out of the blue, predictable can be boring, but then it started getting weird. I had just assumed previously that Genya and David had been married sometime between the end of the S&B series and the start of KoS as that’s when they start being referred to husband and wife (same with Nadia and Tamar) and I had no reason to believe it wasn’t the wedding they wanted. Then there’s mentions of them having a hasty wedding in Ketterdam and this just felt like yet another attempt to placate and garner hope in readers by referencing SoC. As far as I know David wasn’t in Ketterdam during the SoC series, he was the only one who stayed in Ravka, even if he was there and just wasn’t “on screen” I don’t understand why they would choose to get married then and there. And if not during the events of SoC then when? What reason did they have to both be in Ketterdam outside of the events of SoC and decide they couldn’t wait to have a proper wedding in Ravka? I was angry at this point because a similar thing was done in KoS where lines about SoC kept getting dropped and getting my hopes up that the other crows would make an appearance and they didn’t.

But back to the wedding, running off to his workshop because he had an idea during his own wedding is totally in character for David. Him dying was just evil. Didn't even cross my mind that this was a possibility, one minute we go from Genya digging through the rubble in her wedding dress saying she can’t find him then we are at his funeral. I thought he might have been gravely injured, unconscious for a long period of time, and that he’d had an idea for an invention that would help them win the war and he’d save the day by waking up in time or something. But no. My favourite character from S&B was killed off, just like that. And it was impactful, it made me cry, the fact they had found him pen in hand, fingers stained with ink, in his wedding clothes, the fact that in his notebook he has notes about how to woo Genya and she wants him to have it in death. Beautifully written, definitely salty about it. At this point in time I don’t really see how his death furthered the plot but death in real life is like that to, it’s unexpected, without reason, sudden. And perhaps, like Matthias’ death in SoC, it will be used to later start a new plot for a new story.

Now two paragraphs ago I was lamenting the fact that the mention of Ketterdam felt forced and had the intent of fooling the readers into having hopes the other SoC cast would return but then they keep hinting at it, they talk about contacting Kaz, about travelling to Ketterdam and I’m sitting there thinking please, please, please actually have Kaz meet them, don’t just be letters or some other minor Dregs sent in his place. (!!!! <- there are no words for my excitement!)

I made an audible screech when Nikolai gave money to the beggar because I knew that was Kaz in disguise. I was so pleased to hear that it sounds like Pekka did not return to the Barrel and that Kaz bought the Emerald Palace and expanded the Crow Club. I was slightly disappointed that Inej wasn’t trailing Nikolai and Zoya too or that she wasn’t meeting with them in the Crow Club probably mainly because I just wanted to see her again but there was also a sadness that it sounds like she did decide to walk a different path than Kaz. The fact that Nina had, earlier in RoW, talked about how she hoped for Inej’s sake Kaz had fixed his hair cut by now, contributed to this because obviously she thinks they stayed together. Maybe they are together in a way but long distance relationships without any suggestion of communication technology must be hard, especially when Kaz could be taken out by another Barrel boss or Inej’s ship blown up by pirates (or the Kerch as was implied by Nikolai) and the other might not ever know of their fate and certainly wouldn’t be there to save them, so I feel that due to this they wouldn’t actively be in a relationship. However, I am proud that Inej put her dreams before Kaz’s she could have given up those dreams to stay at his side and continue to be his spider, after all, that’s what he had asked her to do he wanted her and he wanted her to stay, in the Dregs, with him. Wasn’t too thrilled that she’s used as a sort of damsel in distress. Help us Mister Brekker and in exchange I’ll give you a device that acts as an early warning system against the submarines I gave the Kerch (yes they have a different name that starts with an i and there’s a z and y and m in there somewhere but instead of me trying to spell it lets call them what they are, subs) because the Wraith will be blown up otherwise as she won’t be able to get away in time.

I don’t know if it was because this part of the story was written better or if it was just because I like these characters so much more (my darling baby boys!) but I felt like the story finally developed momentum here that it was lacking previously. I love that Wylan and Jesper are living together with Wylan’s mother and acting like an old married couple. I also like that Wylan is trying to keep Jesper away from illegal activities but is also clearly continuing to work on chemistry projects and likely explosives and that Jesper’s love of Barrel flash hasn’t been quashed, Zoya actually even compliments it in her head. I also love how, as soon as Wylan hears this illegal act can help Inej, all restraint is thrown out the window. Kaz was able to pull off so many tricks in such a short time too, I love it. First dressing as a beggar, then pretending the operation will be more difficult than it is in order to drive the price up, then pretending that due to changes in how the goods are being stored at the military base they couldn’t carry out the operation with such a small crew, meanwhile he knew the Suli were there and would connect with Zoya and show them the “backdoor” to the base. Now I completely understand how Ketterdam was built on slavery or, as they like to call it, indentures, so I can see how Suli would have built the place, I imagine some of the Suli are still in Ketterdam, why they returned to the military base that night I don’t know. Also the fact they were all wearing jackal masks, something Inej said is reserved only for holy men, Suli seers, and wearing one was akin to sacrilege if you were not a seer, implies that all these people were the rare seers which seemed a bit unlikely. The fact that Zoya has this encounter and an earlier one made me think that maybe the Suli would play a larger role in RoW than what they end up doing (because this is the last we see of them, they don’t come to fight the battles, they don’t impart secret knowledge to help Ravka win the war, Zoya doesn’t find her father or her uncles or decide to learn more about her Suli heritage).

I was very disappointed with how quickly we leave Ketterdam, Kaz, Wylan, and Jesper. I suppose we do the same thing with Alina and co at the sanatorium where there is no proper goodbye. In one chapter we finish the job/plot point and in the next the main characters have left. At the end of the day I suppose I was just glad we actually had a few scenes with the crows and not just hints, was definitely the most surprising part of the book.

The crows were a positive surprise Nina and Hanne getting together was more of a negative one for me. It was hinted at in KoS but Nina has also been said to have made eyes at a pair of shoes so I had hoped the relationship wouldn’t grow beyond flirting, I feel it just diminishes what Nina and Matthias had. She also doesn’t seem to feel any remorse for moving on so quickly and even though she’s still thinking about him, about her promise to save some mercy for his people and country, and trying to fulfill her promises, she’s also forsaking him by getting together with Hanne.

That being said I, like Nina, really did believe Rasmus had killed Hanne near the end of RoW and while I hadn’t wanted them to be together the damage to the relationship Nina and Matthias had was done and I was thinking “really, you’re going to do this to my girl Nina twice, take away the person she loves, twice, for no good reason?” So that was a surprise and I was glad that Hanne did survive but I really don’t see how she could live as Rasmus and even if she could pull it off I don’t see the Fjerdan people, military, or royalty permitting a prince to marry Mila, a widowed fishwife. Nina was saying something about using her power to get the answers from the dead which I thought was a very weird development for her powers in the first place. In KoS when Nina said that she was hearing the voices of the dead I thought it was more about she was sensing a mass grave and could tell that the bodies were women and the death unnatural. Near the end of KoS I thought perhaps there were some memories left in the brains that she could access, names and how they died. But in RoW Nina is able to reach out to the dead, identify the queen’s best friend and lady-in-waiting and ask her questions and get answers and implies she can do this with Rasmus as well. There are a lot of logistic fallacies with this. One, it implies that people don’t go to the Saints or to Djel or to any kind of afterlife when they die but that they stick around their corpses. It also implies that Nina can probably override their free will, the women and girls at the factory had “called” to her, I doubt Rasmus and the lady-in-waiting would want to share everything so freely. Finally, if Nina can communicate with the dead then how come Matthias’ voice that she heard in the beginning of KoS was just her imagination and not really him? This could also make Nina incredibly powerful, no need to torture or bribe secrets out of someone or try to steal top secret documents, just kill them with a bone dart and demand answers of their ghost.

In regards to Nina’s power I am disappointed with how little she used it in RoW. With the exception of speaking to the dead I believe she briefly controlled two of the newly dead Priest Guard to restrain the Apparat for all of maybe thirty seconds and that was it for the entire book. While Nina has always done undercover work or subterfuge, pretending to be native to find Grisha in hiding, sneaking into the Ice Court pretending to be part of the Menagerie, pretending to be Mila the translator for Leoni and Adrik, she has always come off as a warrior to me so to not see her fight at all in RoW seemed a bit out of character. There was opportunity but it wasn't seized and honestly it left me wondering what Nina actually really accomplished during RoW, she didn't free Nikolai's true father, she didn't free any Grisha or destroy Fjerda's parem or find labs and holding facilities, she didn't help win any battles, didn't actually manage to dissuade Rasmus from war. Zoya took her from the Leviathan, flew her all the way to the frontlines of the north where there was death aplenty, and then flew her all the way back without her ever doing more than cling to Zoya’s back. Surely she could have raised some of the dead just to drive the point home, no?

The one thing I did like about the final battle was that we finally got to see the Darkling be less than perfect, a theme that sort of carried through the book. He started off with no power, mind you his scheme to get it back went off without a hitch, but then he was pretty much on the run having to trade manual labour for food. Yet he had this plan and I had no reason to believe it wouldn’t work out for him, that he’d go to the frontlines, preform a miracle saving Nikolai and Ravka, and manage to get himself declared a saint for his troubles. Instead we see him just as affected by the disk bells as everyone else, we see him try to summon shadow, try to summon nichyvoya (I acknowledge that’s spelled incorrectly, I can’t be bothered to find the correct spelling) and he can’t. I thought it was glorious.

While the Darkling did end up doing some good in RoW, helping Nikolai’s monster stay alive long enough to destroy the disk bells, shutting up the Apparat (why isn’t he dead, his character is a harbinger of bad things to come and he’s a creep, how did Zoya not kill him?) in order to give Zoya a better chance of getting the throne, and finally sacrificing himself to the Thornwood to undo the damage he let loose on the world with the creation of the Fold, I didn’t feel as though he had redeemed himself and for this I was glad. There are all kinds of evil characters in GV and the Darkling likes to pretend that his reasons are pure, that he’s protecting and strengthening the Grisha, but he is a mass murderer seemingly without empathy, he happily manipulates people to get his way, puts Genya, who at the time could be considered a child, into the king’s path, then later mutilates her as punishment for letting Alina get away, all for the sake of his own cause. In the GV I hated Van Eck and Brum and Heleen much more than the Darkling, but I do think he’s the most evil of them all, in part because his unnaturally long life has meant he’s been committing evils for centuries. I’m glad that it sounds like this is the end for his character and that while in the next series Zoya wants to free him from his eternity of agony that freedom will come in the form of death.

Speaking of the potential plot of the next series, I can’t believe that without even doing any research they are able to come to the conclusion that a “heart strong enough” is the heart of Saint Feliks and they intend to send Kaz after this, what if they’re wrong? Also, they finally bring Inej into the story for Zoya’s coronation, don't know what reason she had for being there. But then we’re done dirty because Inej doesn’t get to meet Alina although she catches sight of her, and they are ready to send Inej back to Kaz with a message about finding this saint’s heart but she’s already left so they’re just going to use a plain old flyer instead! You could have at least sent our darling Inej, treasure of our hearts, back to do Kaz the honour of acquiring him a new heart. But no, brief meaningless appearance and she’s gone.

Unfortunately, it seems there was a lot of things I was displeased with in RoW. I think overall the main problem the RoW (and KoS) is that it just became too big, the characters became indistinct because they grew out of character, there were too many references to past stories and characters in attempt to please readers rather than for the sake of the story, there were too many characters and plots to keep track of in general, and due to all this I couldn’t remain suspended in disbelief. I approach this as someone who entered the GV through SoC, I picked up SoC because the story was interesting, I picked up KoS and S&B because they were set in the same universe as SoC not because I particularly wanted to read those series. I had thought I could be interested in KoS on its own because it is more complicated than a typical YA novel and Nina is one of the main characters but now having finished RoW I have to say that if the GV really was just a collection of stories set in the same universe but with no intersecting of series I would have never have read this one. Will I go back and read KoS and RoW again? Yes, of course. Will I sometimes pretend that it never existed when I reread SoC? Yes, of course. But I do think the wait and the hype was worth it even if just for the few chapters with the Dregs again, because let’s face it, that’s what I personally was waiting for.

So I wrote this as a Word document over the span of three days and it’s now over 5000 words long, completely unedited, no order, probably reads like chaos. I want to see if and how my opinion changes over time but I’ve decided to post this because I like reading and watching others react to things I like so maybe someone else out there is like me and will find this and get some enjoyment from this.

#rule of wolves #grishaverse #king of scars #leigh bardugo #six of crows #shadow and bone

[aros001]

Going in blind: Watching season 2 for the first time. Random thoughts.

Huh. Only 7 episodes. Not complaining necessarily. For series with an ongoing plot I've definitely become more in favor with their seasons only having as many episodes as they need rather than them having to stretch themselves out to full up a certain number of episodes, which can lead to padding and just bad character moments.

Episode 1: Jeez. Catra visiting Shadow Weaver's cell just to rub her success in her face and verbally abuse her back for once. It's like a twisted version of Zuko and Ozai from ATLA. Catra's upbringing under her was abusive but this is far from a healthy way for her to deal with it. She's basically deliberately swimming in her resentment.

Episode 2: It's not that I'm rooting for her but by-golly was it fun to watch Catra act like just the absolute worst she could while she was Glimmer and Bow's captive.

I touched on this in season 1 but part of the drama of the heroes feeling guilt over leaving Entrapta behind is kind of lost on me a bit simply because it was her own fault it happened. She deliberately went back into the purge room because of her machine obsession, which then closed on her and erupted in flames. It was more than reasonable to assume she was dead and no one but her was to blame, so I'm not really able to be invested in their guilt over it.

That said, weirdly enough I do like that her "abandonment" doesn't seem to be even a blip on the radar for Entrapta herself. She hasn't joined the horde because she resents the heroes or felt left behind, she simply is so obsessed with machines and experimentation that she'll be on the side of whoever lets her do the most of that. Like, it's selfish and irresponsible but it's very in-character and I'd far rather have a traitor motivation be based in that over something stupid like a misunderstanding.

Episode 3: I love the mental image of Shadow Weaver thinking up princess-themed ghost stories to tell Adora as a child.

So, if the previous She-Ra Mara separated Eternia from the other realms/planets/whatever she did and that's what cut off the She-Ra line for 1000 years, I'm guessing Hordak may be from the time before that happened, thus his drive to create portals and calling Eternia a backwards world. Either he's naturally long-lived or his technology is extending his life.

Episode 4: You know, you could maybe argue it was vague enough that it could be taken other ways but I'm definitely getting some vibes here that Scorpia is crushing on Catra. She literally refers to the two of them as soulmates at one point. I know she says she's trying to be friends but this feels a level beyond that.

Fun little reference to the original She-Ra cartoon thrown in there (and maybe Cowboy Bebop...? James Bond...? What was Glimmer's art style supposed to be?). I like how it is more like just playful ribbing than anything outright dumping on the original. Again, I've never seen original She-Ra but whenever remakes/adaptations go out of their way to trash to the original I always kind of wonder why they bothered doing an adaptation if the original is just that bad? Also, I was having trouble sleeping so it was about 2am when I watched this episode and the very Eartha Kitt Catwoman Catra made it very difficult for me not to lose my **** and stay quiet. With how much of a contrast that version is from the one in this series, that was hilarious. Bonus note, it's a nice touch that Frosta's version of Catra is a pretty crasher in that sweet suit, since that's the only impression of Catra she's ever had.

Adora being a chosen one is definitely elevated up simply by how much the pressure of what she's supposed to be is getting to her. I'm likely going to keep making Avatar The Last Airbender comparisons throughout the series but that's partly because I went into this series figuring it'd be at least structured similar to ATLA (season 1 being more episodic and a little more kid-friendly as it builds up the world before getting more serious later). Adora and Aang are interesting to compare here. Aang's worries early on were less apparent because he was more in-denial/choosing not to think about his problems that much, which fit with his character as a free-spirited Air Nomad. While Adora is much more military-minded. She can't keep herself from thinking about her problems and trying to prepare for the worst-case scenario. And jeez, that idea of who/how Catra is in her mind. Not only beating her but making her watch as she takes everything she cares about away. Not Shadow Weaver, not Lord Hordak, but Catra. That whole Lion King Mufasa/Scar moment between them in episode 11 and their fight in the S1 finale really did a number on her mental image of her old friend. Not reasonably so.

Minor note: I'm sure I'm the only one who got this impression but by the look of it, the way the robot's eye moved, and the music, after getting the soda spilled on it that little spybot gained sentience for half a second and then immediately died. It was so darkly comedic I had to laugh.

Episode 5: So that red disc is basically She-Ra's Red Kryptonite, having an effect on the mind rather than the body. The drunk Adora joke doesn't really do it for me but it did get some nice interactions going between Scorpia and Sea Hawk, two characters I certainly wasn't expecting to bond. I did really like Catra's panic when berserker She-Ra nearly beheads her. The implication is that is Adora really wanted to kill her Catra would already probably be dead. It's a thing I like about powerhouse characters like Superman or Aang, who could just demolish everything around them and don't simply because they're a good person...which in turn makes them the scariest person on the planet when they're well and truly ticked off. I'm not going to lie, I do kind of want to see a She-Ra version of Aang when Appa was stolen or when Superman fought The Elite.

Also, Catra's line of "I have control over Adora. I'm not giving that up for anything.". There's a lot to read into there.

Episode 6: I guess my prediction was sort of right. Shadow Weaver became basically a magic parasite and while it did increase the power she's capable of the implication seems to be that she needs a constant fix of magic to keep herself going, thus her attachment to the Black Garnet.

Have we seen Micah before? Given how long ago the flashback seems set, the fact that Shadow Weaver didn't kill him and thus he probably becomes someone important later in life, I'm guessing he's Glimmer's dad and the queen's late husband, since I think he's the only important male character whose face we haven't seen yet. Also, he's voice by Ezra from Star Wars Rebels and that cracks me up for some reason. It's the exact same voice and a relatively similar character.

I compared Catra and Shadow Weaver with a kind of twisted version of Zuko and Ozai and that definitely still fits here. Both Catra and Zuko confront their parent and call them out for the inexcusable abuse they put them through but while that moment was the start of Zuko's upwards journey this and SW's betrayal seems like it's going to cause Catra to spiral even further. Makes sense why Adora leaving affected her so much. She's probably the only one Catra's ever had that she could consistently trust and rely on, even if she did somewhat resent her.

Not surprised Hordak is getting along with Entrapta. She's not socially aware enough to be scared or intimidated by him, so she'll speak frankly, and since all she wants to talk about is the machines, experiments, and how they could get them to work Hordak probably doesn't take much issue with that. She's producing results, which is what he cares about, thus also why Shadow Weaver and Catra started losing favor with him. I wonder if Catra is going through imposter syndrome? Shadow Weaver had that line that Entrapta earned her place next to Hordak and, if you think about it, Catra hasn't really "earned" anything. We saw that she didn't really take her training or studies that seriously, showing up late to combat practice and even getting partial credit for what Adora beat. She wasn't promoted to Force Captain because of her own abilities but because Adora had defected when she was supposed to get that title. She's come close to a few victories but never really had any except for Glimmer and Bow's kidnapping...whom she then basically let escape when she returned Adora's sword to her. She doesn't have the slightest clue how the horde's bureaucracy works when trying to get things done, like simply getting troops armor. Given how much better than her Adora always was and how little she herself has to her name, I wonder is subconsciously Catra believes she doesn't deserve her current position and thus why she's fretting so much over trying to prove herself.

Episode 7: Am I mistaken or did Bow's parents say that he's the youngest of TWELVE siblings? I was going to ask whether Bow was adopted or if his dad's used a surrogate or if maybe there's even just simply magic in She-Ra's world that allows two people of the same sex to have a child together but now I'm just focused on the 12 kids thing. I get nervous just imagining myself having more than one. You should see me when I'm with two cats. I have to pet both of them because I'd feel like I'd be making one feel left out and like the other is the favorite. I'm a mess with kids.

The dad with dreadlocks (Lance?), his design looked familiar to me and I finally realized it reminded me a of a fanart design for a human Grim from The Grim Adventures of Billy and Mandy. Very different voices between those two characters though.

I wonder if there's any significance to the robot protecting the crystal having the same design as those in the artic in episode 5? Obviously both have the connection to the First Ones but the robot in the forest who was also protecting First Ones' tech had a more insect-like design over these more worm/Graboid ones.

I'm kind of curious what Hordak would have done if Catra had told the truth. Given his interactions with her and Shadow Weaver he doesn't seem like the time to tolerate failure but I suppose the implication here is that he at least would respect those who own up to their failures. Or I suppose more simply he was just testing to see if she would lie to him and since she did there's little merit in keeping her in a position of authority anymore where she could lie about important things again.

Season 2 verdict: Still enjoying it. Another person on this reddit recommended I view seasons 2 and 3 as one since they are basically just one season split in two. I was going to do that but this ended up longer than I thought I would, so I'll just do 2 and 3 separate to keep them semi-organized and easier to read.

I think overall Catra is my favorite character since she has the most interesting backstory, interactions, and just general path through the story out of everyone. She's like Pearl from Steven Universe or, well, Zuko. There's just so much baggage there that she's trying and kind of failing to deal with. I'm always invested in whatever's happening when she's onscreen. Hordak so far is a good big boss villain for Adora to face but Catra is a good archenemy for her.

Original Reddit post: https://www.reddit.com/r/PrincessesOfPower/comments/o027y3/going_in_blind_watching_season_2_for_the_first/

#she ra #she ra spop #random thoughts #reddit repost

[crow-writes-stuff]

Help me sleep

Chapters: 1/1 Fandom: 文豪ストレイドッグス | Bungou Stray Dogs Rating: General Audiences Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply Relationships: Dazai Osamu & Nakahara Chuuya (Bungou Stray Dogs), possible Dazai Osamu/Nakahara Chuuya (Bungou Stray Dogs) Characters: Dazai Osamu (Bungou Stray Dogs), Nakahara Chuuya (Bungou Stray Dogs) Additional Tags: Whumptober 2020, Sleep Deprivation, Sleep Deprived Dazai Osamu, Nakahara Chuuya Takes Care of Dazai Osamu (Bungou Stray Dogs), Sharing a Bed, Literal Sleeping Together, Post-Decay of Angels Arc (Bungou Stray Dogs) Series: Part 6 of Soukoku Whumptober 2020 Summary:

Dazai can't sleep. He finally asks Chuuya for help.

Ao3

Dazai stares blankly at the papers in front of him. He's trying to make sense of the black squiggly lines all across them. "Dazai-san?" Atsushi interrupts his concentration. "Hm?" Dazai asks without looking up. Atsushi fidgets with his belt before answering: "You seem really tired. Maybe you should finish early today?" Aw, he's concerned about Dazai! He finally looks up and gives Atsushi a smile. "What makes you say that?" More fidgeting. "Uh, well... For one, the papers you've been looking at are upside-down." Oh. Hm. That explains his troubles. Dazai shrugs and stands up. "Maybe you're right," he says with a cheerful voice, "tell Kunikida I'm calling in sick." This takes Atsushi by surprise, and he stammers through his response. Did he expect more resistance? "Oh, um, s-sure. But, uh, Dazai-san?" Dazai suppresses a sigh and looks back at Atsushi. "Yes?" The boy's expression is absolutely sincere when he asks: "Are you alright? You've been acting a bit strange lately. Everyone is worried." Ah, so Dazai has not been hiding it as well as he thought. He waves Atsushi off with a lazy smile. "I'll be fine, no need worry." That at least seems to placate the other for the moment, and he lets Dazai leave without further questions. Technically, Dazai didn't lie. He is sure that he'll be fine. Eventually. For now, he's leaning against the wall of the staircase and looks down at his shaking hands.

He's so tired. He has barely been sleeping, ever since... Ever since the whole disaster of the Decay of Angels situation. Sure, it worked out for them in the end, but Dazai's mind has known no rest. And neither has his body. He has tried almost everything he could think off to finally get some sleep but to no avail. Logically he knows that he only has two options left. Three, if he considers a successful suicide an option. He really, really would rather avoid both options. Which is precisely what he has done until now. The first is simple and would probably be effective as well. But taking drugs, even if they're regular sleeping pills, leads down a path he knows all too well. So that's a no from him. The second option is the last resort in every case. But what choice does he have at this point? Of course, he could go home and fail to rest again. But he knows how much his body can take and it won't be long until it reaches its limit. Death due to lack of sleep is not what he had pictured for himself.

Dazai sighs and fumbles with his coat to get his phone. The screen looks blurry to him, but that isn't the phones fault. Besides, he doesn't need to see to find what he's looking for. He starts the call and holds the phone to his ear. While listening to the quiet beeps of the starting connection, he sinks down the wall. Might as well sit down while he waits. It doesn't take long for the call to be picked up. "What the fuck do you want?" snarls an all too familiar voice. Dazai smiles. Good old Chuuya. His smile quickly falls again, and he takes a breath. He doesn't want to do this, but he's out of options.

"I need your help." The line goes completely silent. Dazai isn't too worried, though. Because as much as they fight with each other, their partnership has always been build on one fundamental truth; If one of them needs help, the other will provide it. As predicted, Chuuya soon asks: "What do you need?" His voice is even, but Dazai likes to imagine he hears a tiny hint of worry. Dazai almost wants to laugh, but he can't muster the energy. He's going to sound so pathetic. "I can't sleep." Another moment of quiet before Chuuya says: "Dazai if this is some kind of joke..." "It's not," he's quick to respond, "I think... I think I haven't slept for more than two hours this past week." The fact that he's unsure speaks for itself. He can hear a quiet sigh at the other end of the line. "Okay," Chuuya says, "Are you at the Agency?" Dazai nods before he remembers that Chuuya can't tell. His brain really isn't at its regular capacity. "I am." He hears quiet rustling and imagines that Chuuya is sitting at his desk, probably doing paperwork. "Wait there. I'm going to pick you up." The line goes dead without Chuuya waiting for confirmation. He knows Dazai will comply. He's the one that asked for help after all.

Dazai continues staring at the black screen of his phone, before resting his head on his knees. He just wants to finally sleep for more than a few minutes.

He sighs and checks the time. With a start, he realises that he already zoned out for a while. Time to go outside. He doesn't want Chuuya to come in here and perhaps run into someone else from the Agency. That would take to much explaining. Something Dazai does not have the energy for.

He makes his way downstairs and notices that he's swaying slightly. Looks like his sense of balance is also affected by the exhaustion. He's honestly a bit disappointed by his body.

Outside he leans against a wall for support. He doesn't have to wait long for Chuuya to turn up. The expensive red car is an instant giveaway even before it slows to a stop. No one gets out, so Dazai makes his way to the passenger door. He sinks into the leather seat without looking at Chuuya. Chuuya is looking at him, though. Dazai can feel his eyes as if they're burning into his skin. Finally, Chuuya turns to look at the street again. "Seatbelt," he says and starts the car again. He waits for Dazai to comply before driving off. Dazai really wants to make a joke, but his mind is blank. Chuuya usually isn't this concerned with safety, he's pretty confident in his driving. But Dazai notices that the seatbelt prevents him from slumping forward. So he settles back, his head leaning at the window. Perhaps that was the intention.

A hand on his shoulders brings him out of his thoughts. The engine is turned off, and Chuuya is looking at him again. They've already reached their destination. Said destination clearly being the underground garage of Chuuya's home. Dazai isn't surprised. They get out of the car and Dazai trails behind Chuuya as they make their way up to his apartment. He has stuffed his hands into his pockets. Chuuya has probably already noticed the shaking though. As much as Dazai likes to make fun of him, the other is far from stupid.

Dazai goes through the motions of taking off his coat and shoes entirely on autopilot. He only really comes back when a cup of hot tea is placed on the table on front of him. He doesn't even remember sitting down on the couch. Chuuya is sitting across from him. Neither of them has spoken since they started driving. Dazai already thinks that Chuuya is merely waiting him out when his expectations get defied. "This is going on since you came back?" Chuuya's talking about his little prison cell where he tried getting information from Dostoevsky. Of course, Dazai hadn't gotten out, until the threat of the Decay of Angels had been neutralised. But Chuuya is right. Dazai nods. "It's gotten worse over time." In the beginning, he had thought that it would be a temporary thing. That he'd soon be back to his old self. Sleeping on his desk if he wanted, head clear when needed. Instead, he just got less and less sleep.

Chuuya doesn't pressure him into talking more, and he appreciates it. He slowly drinks his tea. It's some kind of herbal mixture, presumably to help him sleep. He already tried that, but he doesn't comment on it. It won't hurt either.

He's staring at his empty cup when Chuuya stands up with a sigh. "Come on then." Dazai looks up at the offered hand and allows himself a tiny smile. Chuuya isn't looking at him anyway. He lets Chuuya pull him to his feet, and they head towards the elaborate bedroom. It's not the first time Dazai is here, but he's still fascinated by the giant dark wood bed frame and the deep red sheets. Chuuya once said, that now that he has money, he's not going to compromise on his own comfort. Looking at the bed, Dazai gets why.

Chuuya is already undressing when Dazai comes out of his thoughts. He turns around and starts unbuttoning his shirt. He places it on one of the chairs in the corner, his pants and socks soon following. When only his underwear is left, he turns back to the bed, where Chuuya already sits crosslegged with the blanket folded back. He's changed into a pair of pyjama pants and is leaning against the headboard. Dazai feels a slight pang at the few unfamiliar scars he spots. He ignores it however and starts crawling into bed. Chuuya easily puts his arms around Dazai and pulls him against his chest. This is far from the first time they have shared a bed. They shift until they're both comfortable, with Dazai having slung one arm over Chuuya, his head resting on the other's chest and their legs tangled together. Dazai closes his eyes, listening to the steady heartbeat of his partner. They may no longer work together, but he's never really stopped seeing Chuuya as that.

Chuuya starts gently playing with his hair and Dazai sighs. He had hoped that he would just fall instantly asleep, but that doesn't seem to be the case. "Everyone is safe," Chuuya says softly, and Dazai stiffens. How does he know what's on his mind? Chuuya sighs now. "So that is what's keeping you up? You're worrying about what happened to your friends." He pauses, waiting for a reaction that doesn't come. "And what you could have done differently to prevent it in the first place." Dazai squeezes his eyes even closer. Chuuya is right. "And you're probably trying to come up with a thousand plans to prevent something like this from happening again." Chuuya definitely knows him too well. Not that Dazai regrets this in any way. Chuuya always was weirdly insightful. And he's the only one with whom Dazai can be truly honest, even if he often isn't. He nods slightly, not reacting otherwise.

Chuuya's voice is gentle when he continues: "You're not going to like it, but there wasn't anything you could have done differently. We were all taken by surprise." He's still stroking Dazai's head, and he relaxes a little again. "And you can't prevent your friends from ever getting hurt again. But when it happens," Chuuya sounds like he's smiling now, "you'll find a way to get them out of it." Dazai sighs softly. Perhaps Chuuya is right once again. "And you won't be alone," Chuuya whispers finally.

Dazai smiles as he finally relaxes completely. Chuuya isn't going to leave. No matter how much he hurt him in the past, they're still partners. Dazai is safe with him. Probably the safest he'll ever be.

"Chibi is getting sentimental," he mutters, barely conscious at this point. Chuuya laughs softly. "Go to sleep, idiot." And Dazai does. Because Chuuya is right. Whatever comes next, he won't be alone to handle it.

#whumptober2020 #no.23 #sleep deprivation #Bungou Stray Dogs #fic #bsd #bungo stray dogs #soukoku #dazai osamu #nakahara chuuya

[yunsoh]

can you do hc: furuba characters and their star signs?

i unfortunately am insufferable about astrology so this turned into. a whole thing. but here goes.

i’m only focusing on the main four (tohru, kyo, yuki, shigure) and then also kakeru and machi because i have thought about their charts to a degree where i might as well just lay them out here. i’m going to try and keep the descriptions brief (oh my god. never mind. this didn’t happen at all**), but ofc if you want more info/have questions you can shoot me an ask abt it. 

**i ended up saying too much so. tohru, kyo, and shigure’s will be in this post, and then i’m just gonna. do a separate post/reply to this one with yuki, kakeru, and machi’s lmfao. just to be considerate of people, you know, maybe not wanting to read the biggest wall of text in the world. 

i guess just some baseline things: 

- i won’t be going into every single planet/house placement/aspect because that’s 2 much man, but i’ll talk about the parts i think are most immediately interesting. 

- i decided to challenge myself a little and look up actual charts rather than just making up my own. which means i went ahead and took a sick guesstimate about their “actual birthdays” based on the years they were born and then the sun/moon/rising combinations that i figured fit them best. yes this is a ridiculous thing to do for fictional characters. yes i now have fictional characters charts sitting in my list on astro.com. but also yes i had fun doing it so it’s w/e. (and yes i know takaya specifically said that they don’t have birthdays but literally when have i ever listened to her abt anything. my city now.)

- birth years i based on the manga since that’s their like, real core characters. they’re 80s kids and shigure is a 70s dad it’s just how it is. 

- take all this with a whole salt mine. like actually. but also my apologies if this is at all confusing, bc i know it’s a lot of like....... more intermediate astrology stuff. hopefully it’s at all comprehensible.

- i’ll also add the disclaimer that if you personally have literally any of these placements please god do not take what i say as like, word of god or whatever. it’s all dependent. i’m also reading them for fictional characters with like... established characterizations..... so use ur best judgement.

this is incredibly long so it’s going under a cut.

tohru

taurus sun, cancer moon, pisces rising; taurus mercury, pisces venus, libra mars (retrograde). 

part of me hates how predictable this is but if it works it works lmfao.

pisces rising & pisces venus in the 1st house are the things that are probably most immediately apparent about tohru to her peers -- pisces brings with it a receptive quality, in that it almost acts as an open channel in the world. it doesn’t really have any defenses up, and in that sense is prone to getting hit by. absolutely everything. depending on what the rest of the chart entails, this can be completely crushing and overwhelming, or it can be handled with some grace. or both, which is the case with tohru. important too is to consider the chart ruler (the rising sign’s ruling planet), which is jupiter under traditional rulerships, and neptune under modern -- personally, i prefer traditional rulerships, so i’m going with jupiter lmao. jupiter here is in the 8th house, which is indicative of being rather open about areas that are typically seen as taboo or not socially spoken of, specifically concerning other people’s matters (rather than the self). jupiter in 8th is also indicative of luck when it comes to other people’s resources, as it’s a house of merging with another.

because pisces is such a receptive source, other people are both comforted and taken aback by it. pisces risings are often considered a little weird (or a lot), and frequently view the world on a baseline of emotion -- they’re keenly aware of the energy in the room, and have a tendency to carry other people’s emotions with them. at the same time, they can have trouble discerning their own emotions -- everything is just kind of a big swirl of feeling. but, we do see tohru frequently step herself away from that overwhelm, or be guided out of it, through more grounded and physical acts of service, rather than emotional. taurus sun and mercury lends some reprieve for her here; when she starts to feel overwhelmed, she is often guided back to her self-determination, in which she quiets her thoughts by getting herself back into the work grind, or reminds herself of what her root motivations are, either within the given moment or in the long-term. 

taurus is a bit of a double-edged sword for her, because while it’s a grounding force, it also leaves her with putting up walls around herself in order to avoid help from other people. taurus is heavily self-reliant, and proud of what they can do for themselves and others -- but when it comes to actually needing help, and needing to ask for help, their first instinct is to refuse. it’s basically like pulling teeth. in the 2nd house, this is especially poignant -- her pride (sun) is rooted in the realm of work ethic, finances, routines. that self-reliance always comes up in the form of knowing she’ll have to provide for herself after graduation, and sees going at things alone as a sort of “training” in a sense, even when it harms her or puts her in harm’s way (this is also evident by aries being the 2nd house cusp, in that she takes this area of life as a challenge and is particularly energized by it, even if it’s to the point of burnout).

cancer moon also has a hand in this, as far as being slow to open up emotionally goes -- while she’s someone who has her heart on her sleeve (very much due to pisces venus in 1st), this doesn’t mean that she’s actually vulnerable about her emotions. cancer moons often find their strength in providing for others, and find emotional comfort in giving other people a place to feel safe, most stereotypically through physical comforts like food and gentle/welcoming environments. they also tend to operate in self-care in this way, by making themselves physically comfortable. this self-care can often come up due to just the sheer exhaustion of feeling and accepting emotions quite easily, but not feeling comfortable fully expressing them. she isn’t completely repressed -- again, she emotes very easily (a combination of venus in 1st and moon in 5th; moon in 5th allows for a freer self-expression, to the point of being over the top at times) -- but she shields herself from opening up fully, until it really just completely overwhelms her and she ends up more or less exploding to let everything out. cancer moon is also highly, highly bonded to their emotional memory! their memories are their well of emotion. 

i want to touch on what’s going on with the 7th house, because i think it looks a little scary at first glance. 7th house rules our one-on-one partnerships, including (but not limited to) long-term romances and friendships. pluto and saturn are intense and challenging energies respectively -- pluto asks for transformation and rebirth, saturn stands for personal challenges that have to be deliberately overcome. mars is a planet of drive and ambition, but also a place of conflict. it’s a lot of difficult energy to consider, but i think it fits her quite well, especially considering her issues of letting her guard down and being emotionally vulnerable. her personal struggle (saturn) is about really, honestly letting people into her life, without feeling inadequate or unworthy. understanding that she’s worthy of the love she receives is something she struggles to fully comprehend up to the end because of a low self-esteem (which is somewhat tied to pisces venus -- pisces venus tends to surrender themselves quite a bit, which doesn’t always mark a low-self esteem [as we’ll see....in a later chart], but can absolutely err that way if there aren’t other parts of the chart to ground it or overpower it with more self-affirming placements, such as a developed taurus placement. pisces venus can feel a little lost in themselves and instead rely on the emotions of the room to determine where their confidence is -- if emotions are good, they’re good. if not, they’re not.)

mars in 7th is indicative of feeling revitalized and driven by these close relationships, but also overflows to the point of arguing -- in which she’s usually arguing because she’s fighting for them and not with them. mars is in retrograde here, which follows the general theme of internalizing issues rather than externalizing them (in 7th house, this often comes up as her getting frustrated with the situations her friends are in and carries it by herself, and is driven to then handle these issues even if her friends are completely unaware. uo and kyo come to mind specifically). mars being in libra, she especially feels inclined towards a sense of doing right for and by the people she loves, even if she does it in ways that can be more than a little intense at times. also struggles a little with being alone! plays off of other people’s energy constantly.

pluto in 7th i think is like........ kind of poetic for her lmao....... especially as it deals with finding transformation/rebirth through these committed, personal relationships. her whole arc involves her feeling an immense guilt over not only feeling as though she’s losing her mom as time passes, but then also “replacing” her in her heart as she falls in love with kyo. and it’s with kyo that she finds strength to grow into and understand herself in ways she hadn’t before. but it’s also a markedly intense transformation for her, and one that repeatedly breaks her heart because it’s a difficult change (saturn being conjunct pluto here absolutely doesn’t soften the matter oml). but she comes out the other side a stronger and more confident person.

one last note, because i just remembered someone asked me ages ago about this: north node! north node is indicative of the path we’re asked to take during this lifetime (versus the south node, which is indicative of what we are already comfortable with; regarding karma, it’s the path we’ve become familiarized with through past lives). north node here is in cancer in the 5th house, almost directly conjunct the moon. a cancer north node is indicative of needing to move away from issues of detachment, competitiveness, workaholic tendencies, elitism, mommy issues (capricorn issues; the south node is always exactly opposite the north), and instead moving towards compassion, self-care, inclusivity, maternal energy. some of these are already present in tohru via other aspects of her chart (compassion and inclusivity, maternal energy), but there are some that are more. difficult things she has to move on from lmao..... being conjunct moon, this is an especially emotional and sensitive part of the journey. 5th house north node is indicative of needing to work towards expressing the self in a way that is purely for the self, rather than for others -- there’s already a comfort in being able to provide for the collective other, but shifting the focus to more “selfish” expression is grounds for discomfort. a journey towards being able to be more unapologetically self-expressive and self-loving. the fun thing about north node is that for the most part, the chart will always be indicative of the issues that need to be considered and overcome in order to face it, so i feel like at this point it all speaks for itself lmao.

(a note; the nodes take about a year and a half to change signs, so everyone within this cohort is going to have the same north node in cancer. which comes up in different ways for each considering house placement & aspects but still. kids the mommy issues.... the superiority/inferiority complexes..... kids...... 

also i’ll add that in Real Life north node is usually a lifelong struggle to fully realize/accomplish, but ofc. this is fiction. character arcs and speedrunning personal development and the like.)

there’s more to talk about here but like. i’ve already said too much omfg. moving on.

kyo

capricorn sun, aries moon, aries rising; capricorn mercury, capricorn venus, aquarius mars. 

yes. the poetic cinema of him and tohru both having a saturn-pluto conjunction in the 7th house. i see it. i am perceiving it.

but before that, some talk about the aries and capricorn of it all. aries and capricorn are both so inherently driven to just do. aries is the initial spark and the short-term determination, the immediate reaction to things, while capricorn is the more plodding slow-burn and considers time and longevity. they’re similar in determination, but clash because of the fight between impatience and time, and reacting immediately versus careful consideration. these more patient traits are present in him, but for a while they’re buried under his inclination to react to things. aries rising views the world as something of a personal challenge, and can put a lot of pressure on themselves in order to overcome these matters. but, they come at it with a borderline unwavering determination; they fall down a lot and are quick to get back up again. other people can find them pushy or cocky, or just too “in your face” about like..... everything lmao...... because they’re just blunt. they see the world honestly (or, so they think) and react to it honestly. this ties too to aries moon, in which the emotional reaction to things is very much a quick, bursting reaction, and then it fizzling out not long after. emotions tend to zip by very quickly -- they’re felt for a moment, and then it’s passed.

moon in 12th, though, makes these emotions a bit more ambiguous to understand -- fire moons feel intensely and suddenly, but a layer of ambiguity that the 12th house provides can make it feel as though emotions are being muddied, and not seen clearly. what we see then with kyo is having these intense reactions to things, but being off-base with consciously understanding why he’s feeling that way. for him, it’s also in part a purposeful shielding and misdirect; he knows subconsciously what the root of these issues actually are, but in the heat of the moment, it’s misdirected to what’s exactly in front of him. it’s a mode of self-protection. this struggle is also present in this sun square moon situation -- sun square moon offers the challenge of the head and heart not working together, and often having conflicting desires (individualizing vs emotional security). capricorn sun in particular is a fairly grounded and practical placement, so up against the wiles of aries moon in 12th, there’s a deep struggle to actually feel grounded. it also presents an issue of feeling as though there’s something to prove in themselves to others, especially regarding self-worth, which is exacerbated by capricorn’s ambitions and moon in 12th’s difficulty with truly seeing themselves; they tend to take things too personally lmao. on the flipside, moon in 12th is actually quite in tune with other people’s emotions, even when they can’t fully comprehend their own. when he lets himself open up a little, he’s shown to be quite understanding of tohru’s emotions in particular, even when she’s not being forthcoming.

lot of mars energy and aspects going on here that also push against capricorn’s groundedness & practicality -- aside from the aries rising & mars chart ruler, the moon is in an easy, sextile relationship with mars (in which mars’ reactions flows easily into the moon reacting), mars itself is in an easy, flowing relationship with uranus (planet of very sudden change; mars sextile uranus asks for high energy levels and a need for something to be going on) and a difficult, square aspect with saturn, which causes a repression and frustration/inhibition for mars. the mars energy here is just one frustration after another. aries rising at least grants him the wherewithal to channel that energy somewhere productive, so when it’s not channeled into his self-loathing, it’s channeled into athletics. he’s trying.

speaking of, aquarius mars being the chart ruler is a little interesting to parse, if only because it does sit so strongly against all of the capricorn energy. aquarius mars is like......... kind of a freak LMAO. in a good way. in some charts it sits as something that’s more blatantly against the social norm, and in others it sits more as a quiet but consistent rebellion. the latter i think is the case here, if only because of that tough square with saturn and all that capricorn energy erring on the side of conformity. i think it’s interesting to take the cat lore into this, considering that the cat’s “downfall” in the story was that it was the only one, among god and all the other animals, to go against the wish for an eternal banquet -- its lack of conformity ended up in the cat being seen from there on out as an enemy. there’s something just inherently nonconforming about the cat, but it becomes a repressed and self-hated thing within kyo because it’s so incredibly alienating in the scope of his immediate family. at the same time, there’s something also inherently rebellious in the ways he seeks out to be the first cat to ever be included within the inner family, even if it all ends up for naught (mars’ contact with moon in 12th i think comes into play here, if only that his motivations are so heavily skewed; he becomes intensely avoidant when he’s asked to face his real issues surrounding the matter). aquarius mars is also very much about being driven for overall social change and reform, which, again, stands at an odds with capricorn’s more staunch viewpoints (he’s not exactly the most accepting of people who step out of the social norm, but this i equate more to capricorn venus in 10th -- traditionalist views regarding personal aesthetics, in a house regarding one’s reputation; also is incredibly self-critical and can project that onto others), but he does in the end fight against the system that his family has put in place for him and is, eventually, a major part of the catalyst for the curse’s downfall. pretty sick shit. 

on a less ‘large scale’ level, aquarius mars affects his social sphere -- the 11th house rules the realm of friendships, teams, groups, anything having to do with a collective, as well as hopes and aspirations. mars here is both invigorated by (and invigorating to) social groups, and can find itself being challenged by them. kyo’s self esteem regarding his social skills can be attributed to the fact that he does feel like an outsider, but he’s actually pretty socially attuned once he settles in. aquarius tends to struggle with needing its alone time, alongside feeling like it doesn’t quite fit in, but at its core it’s a social sign -- there’s a required balance between being alone and needing to be with others. it can take aquarius a while to really find comfort in social settings, i think, so i think it’s fitting that this is an area that kyo struggles with for a time. 

okay. god i already wrote so much. and yet...... okay. capricorn sun, mercury, and venus -- sun in 9th does seek a basic desire to be able to expand its worldview outside of the confines of home, and this runs along the theme of kyo’s being caged in a major way. sun conjunct neptune here is also indicative of how easily he gives up on that desire and submits to powers above him; neptune acts as a shroud, and can be a challenge for the sun’s ego to work with, especially in the case of the ego being harmed in any way (such as through abuse). it’s imperative that there’s someone who is able to guide the sun back to its goals, especially in the case of a capricorn sun, which can really suffer under the feeling that they aren’t actively doing or achieving, or can otherwise be prone to melancholy in self-perceived defeat. also concurs with the themes of sun square moon in 12th. capricorn mercury and venus in 10th, a focus on getting shit done lmfao. mercury here tends to be a problem-solver, but can also err towards thinking they’re the smartest person in the room or use otherwise demeaning vocab (kyo........ yeah). venus here typically tends towards wanting to be in a place of getting attention, but square that moon in 12th this is something. highly inhibited lmfao. but venus in 10th also tends to be seen as highly attractive by others, in looks and personality, which i think is a) true because sohma and b) fucking hilarious because he gets his own little fanclub from the. middle school girl gang or w/e. god. 

and then yes, the saturn-pluto conjunction in 7th. saturn: similar to tohru in struggling to let people into his life in full, and not believing he’s worthy of that love as he is (esp regarding kazuma and tohru). pluto: similar again to tohru in that he experiences something highly transformative in his person once he actually accepts the love of other people, and allows himself to be transformed by love. it asks him to let go of his self-hatred, which in turn asks him to let go of a lot of other things that held him back from growth. and he comes out the other side of that experience with a hell of a lot more self-confidence. the fact that he and tohru are these transformative experiences for each other.... fucking poetry. yeah.

north node note: north node is in cancer in the 3rd house; for him, it’s asking him to move away from being defined only by achievement, mommy issues, competition, & complexes around inferiority, and embrace being more emotionally sensitive and inclusive of others and the self, and especially being able to find comfort within the self. north node in the 3rd asks for a journey of being able to express the self in a way where the thoughts are purely individual, rather than coming from certain shared ideologies or other higher influences. this i feel is especially poignant for him as he struggles to really move on from certain beliefs planted in him by his family situation -- beliefs that he’s inherently worthless, that yuki is to blame for his struggles (due to zodiac lore) rather than seeing the situation for what it is (abuse from akito and his father), that his future is set in stone because it’s family tradition. the north node here sits opposite the sun, which is indicative of a struggle between a distinct drive towards personal development and an inclination to stick to what was learned in childhood; a battle against the ego for personal development. north node trine saturn is i think indicative of being self-accountable and having a lot of determination, and tending towards a mature outlook on things. square moon is indicative that this personal growth journey is especially spurred on and nurtured by significant relationships with women, though they tend to be challenging........ yeah..........

MOVING ON..............

shigure

scorpio sun, scorpio moon, taurus rising; sagittarius mercury, libra venus, libra mars.

shigure just exudes fuckboy venusian energy, and that is on that. 

taurus rising colors the chart in a way that brings focus on self-reliability, prioritizing personal wants & comforts, and in general not being rushed or bothered unless it’s on their own terms. for all his slipperiness, shigure’s actually pretty lax and slow-going, and looks at the world in a way where he first and foremost considers what is useful to him, in the moment. self-indulgence king. there’s also a considerable focus on loyalty and honesty. under this is the influence of the chart ruler, libra venus; taurus alone tends towards being more reserved (which, shigure really doesn’t seem to mind just chilling by himself in the middle of the woods tbqh), but libra tends to get agitated when they’re alone for too long -- as an air sign, they thrive in the realm of mentality, and libra in particular thrives in this arena when it comes to social connections. they’re simultaneously flighty and committed; libra venus perfects the art of being huge romantics while also coming across as emotionally detached. 

but ofc shigure does have a considerable amount of passion when it comes to his love life, more than erring on the side of possessiveness, and that comes in with the double scorpio sun/moon in 7th, as well as venus conjunct pluto (pluto bears an intense, transformative energy; it kind of sits there like “i refuse to make anything easy, or take anything easily” lmfao). 7th house is all about long-term partnership, as well as considers the energy you’re drawn to (and simultaneously have issues with seeing in yourself, since it sits opposite the rising). scorpio on the descendant tends towards being selective towards people, and while shigure is pretty sociable, he only has a handful of truly close relationships, all of which have been long-standing since he was a child. sun & moon being conjunct one another indicates a conscious expression of emotion (rather than, if the moon were unaspected, emotions can be more free-falling and come and go unconsciously/subconsciously). shigure tends to be deliberate in how he shows himself and what he expresses, and taking scorpio into consideration, there’s a considerable intuitiveness he has that he uses specifically to dig into people’s observed sensitivities (sagittarius mercury in 8th also affects this; 8th house handles matters including other people’s psychology, and sagittarius mercury can tend towards being rather open-faced and blunt about what they think and say). 

when it comes to akito, though, there is that push and pull of “belonging” to her, and also pulling away from her -- moon in 7th does find emotional stability in being someone’s person, and sun in 7th also finds a base importance in being part of a partnership, romantic or otherwise; but that pulling back can be attributed to a mix of taurus’ mode of self-reliance and at times cold detachment, libra’s general emotional detachment, and also scorpio moon’s tendency towards vindictiveness (or otherwise a high emotional response) when it’s hurt. paired with a libra mars, which can be a majorly provoking force in terms of shit-stirring, there ends up being this concoction of “i’m hurt, i’m going to hurt you back in a way that makes you feel exactly how hurt i am, and i’m also going to avoid saying things outright because i want you to figure out why i did it” (sagittarius mercury and its tendency towards “i’ll say and think what i want and if other people can’t keep up, that’s not entirely my problem” plays into that as well). shigure doesn’t come off as a sensitive sort, but it’s more that he both manages to keep his hurt rather private, and also genuinely only gets bothered when it comes to his most important relationship. libra’s “eye for an eye” and matters of balance really especially come into play for him in terms of him feeling hurt by akito -- like. he literally fucked ren in revenge for akito sleeping with kureno lmao. that’s beyond being hurt, that’s a perceived betrayal. scorpio antics. libra mars conjunct uranus also is big “suddenly, i have decided that i will cause problems on purpose" eye-for-an-eye energy.

beyond his penchant for. revenge fucking. he’s also notably charming and funny! the charm is itself the overall venusian energy between taurus and libra, but it’s also found with that venus square jupiter -- squares are typically energies in conflict with one another, but venus and jupiter are both benefic planets; the worst that this square brings really is that they can tend to be lazy and unmotivated, and that people might think they have loose morals lmfao. and considering this square occurs with the 6th and 9th houses, it’s a marked laziness with daily routines and things concerning travel, higher learning, and publishing. long-suffering mitsuru and tohru kind of deal with the brunt of this. jupiter in 9th in general also grants some good fortune regarding travel/higher learning/publishing/the like, which i just think is like. a funny little thing considering he’s an achieved author at 25 under multiple pseudonyms. also the libra influence on that in that he’s a romance writer, mercury conjunct neptune heavily influencing creative thought, and the saturn in 2nd indicating a more serious motivation when it comes to career (+ the saturn trine mars in 6th giving him like, actual dedication in the realm of his career and his success -- mars in 6th is more about the determination to do things well, especially in terms of daily tasks).... yeah! like he does what he wants but he’s also obviously dedicated to his craft lmao. 

i guess another thing to mention is all this 6th house energy -- 6th house handles personal health, daily routines, service given to others within the physical world. which with shigure, it’s very much a part of his character that he’s kind of trash at keeping physical care of himself (shit eating habits, absolutely fucked up sleeping schedule), and that he veers pretty heavily on the side of being self-serving. uranus, pluto, and mars don’t bode very well in this house. they just don’t like it -- uranus either figures out ways to adapt or detaches from these chores entirely, mars can be an energizing source here with the right willpower (such as regarding his job, though writing is in itself a self-serving profession), but would rather be served than serve others, and pluto can tend towards harboring power struggles with others because they want to do things on their terms only. venus is really the only one sitting in this house having a good time, if only that venus brings pleasure wherever it goes -- for shigure, that’s maximized in making sure he’s able to do things his way so that there’s as little struggle as possible. he’s content letting his house and habits go to hell, and he’s just as content with shunting off the housework to someone else. he just can’t be bothered to do things he doesn’t want to. (also, again, venus square jupiter. the laziness but also the charm that has people put up with him without much fight or consequence.) i will say though that he does provide a physical service by housing three literal teenagers, but ofc there’s an undercurrent of an ulterior motive in doing so. so. 

and then mars conjunct uranus + sag mercury is just big fucking clown energy.  

some north node notes: his north node sits opposite the kids’, which i think is an interesting little thing. north node in capricorn is indicative of needing to move away from codependency, an overindulgence in self-soothing/self-care, and passivity, and asks to move towards being a more proactive presence, someone who leads, and someone who empowers people rather than enables them. so. i think in general this is interesting to coincide with his character arc, in the sense that he doesn’t exactly have one lmao? he’s very much a stable force throughout the story; he doesn’t really undergo any massive personal changes like a lot of the other characters do. he’s a character who is very much comfortable admitting that he does things for himself, and that he is shown time and again that, for all of his self-serving nature, he’s still very much committed to this relationship with akito that he’s harbored since he was a literal child, no matter how volatile and skewed it became as they got older. i think the one matter of the north node that he actually fulfills is being someone who tends to challenge other characters’ personal viewpoints and asks them (though indirectly) to consider changing how they think in order to facilitate their growth. but, he’s not exactly a proactive force here; he nudges, but he doesn’t fight. 

north node in 9th also takes this into consideration, as it asks to expand outside of what is already known, to learn and grow outside of where they grew up, and to be able to teach from that learned wisdom. which, again, isn’t fully realized in him, as he chooses to dedicate himself to akito and in turn return to living within the sohma estate, which also includes him giving up his job as a novelist..... in its way it’s sort of like expanding these horizons vicariously through akito, who is literally taking her first step into being anything like a normal functioning human being outside of the curse. idk about that. but he does think outside of the curse’s constraints and looks beyond it, rather than feeling particularly held back by it, and in that sense is able to offer some wisdom and nudge other people towards the thought of freedom. it’s a mixed bag.

(i’ll slap a link here when i make a new post for yuki, kakeru, and machi’s reads!)

#fruits basket #tohru honda #kyo sohma #shigure sohma #this is the true testament for just doing things purely for yourself. holy shit. #i literally made this post for me and like five other people #anyways sorry if this is like. incomprehensible. i had a lot 2 say apparently. #i'll try to get the disaster trio's shit done within the next few days lmfao but in the meantime..... just take this #Anonymous #yunsoh astrology #fruits basket spoilers

[korgbelmont]

Newsletter 22/01/21

In the midst of the difficulties and uncertainties happening around the world, we're pressing onward to produce books we hope you'll fall in love with. As we continue to support one another within our studio, we can truly say that your thoughtful feedback has encouraged us during these challenging times. While we can't predict what'll happen next, we hope our 2021 books will provide you an outlet to smile, laugh, and relax during these times...

Book Updates

Without further ado, we wanted to take the time to update you on the various books to expect in the coming year. Hopefully, these will answer your most pressing questions!

With Every Heartbeat

Aching for another heartfelt Choices story? We're releasing this VIP book to all players at the end of the month. (Eagle-eyed fans might notice we've even updated some of the main character hairstyles!) Be sure to follow our official social accounts for more previews...

So It looks like WEH MC will have some new hairstyles, I know for a fact that this book SOOOO good, can’t wait to see peoples reactions to it.

Open Heart, Book 3

This February, make the most of your third year at Edenbrook and reunite with your favorite medical crew in Open Heart, Book 3! Will the heart of Edenbrook remain the same in Leland Bloom's hands?

So it looks like they are setting up the plot to have Bloom as the villain and the gang finding a way to get rid of him whilst keeping Edenbrook open. I am still wary of this book, but will see it through as I do believe it is the final book of the series.

#ChoicesCookbook

Calling all food lovers! Our team is whipping up a new dish of choices in the kitchen. Get your pots and pans ready for this exclusive Choices VIP book! We'd love to see you all participate with recipes of your own... What delectable dish can you make with these ingredients? Let us know using #playchoices and #ChoicesCookbook.

So this is a part of their branching out into new genres, I have no clue what to expect, I will keep an eye on it. and see what it’s like

Laws of Attraction

Bring your A-game to beat out the competition in this brand new title set in one of New York’s premier law firms. With high-profile cases and a hard-driving, mysterious boss, you’ll be in for dramatic days… and steamy nights!

So it looks like we are getting another book that’s potentially gonna be on the more... mature side. I am curious to see how this will play out and what the premise is going to be.

Crimes of Passion

We’re hyped for this book, and although it won’t be out until later this year, we couldn’t resist sharing a little peek at what you can expect from this thrilling, unpredictable, and jaw dropping mystery book.

So I haven’t exactly been quiet about my excitement for this book, and this image gives off some SERIOUS culty vibes. Crimes of Passion is definitely my top book for this year to keep an eye on.

The Nanny Affair, Book 2

Book 2 of The Nanny Affair is in the works and will be releasing later this year. Can't wait to find out what's going to happen next? Here's the latest hint:

"We have a lot of exciting plans in the works for The Nanny Affair, Book 2 (and trust me, the art team is outdoing themselves). We don't want to give away too much, but let's just say, you may not be the only nanny in town this time around..." - Megan

As I said before, I enjoyed book 1 and am looking forward to book 2. I am curious as to how it will all play out, by the sounds of this, maybe Sam gets another Nanny in whilst they and MC work to sort out the fallout from the wedding??

Zombies

We know plenty of you have been dying for a zombie book. (Yes, we see those tweets and messages!) Until now, we were only able to share a zombie emoji… But we can make this official: zombies will be taking over Choices later this year, so stay tuned!

So I’ve been playing a lot of Resident Evil recently, and the creatures on the right give me serious RE vibes. I am now curious as to what the premise of this book will be and how it will all play out. 

The Royal Finale

As mentioned in our last Choices Insiders email, the final book of The Royal Romance series will air later this year. Here's a quote from the Book Lead to tide you over until then:

"In The Royal Finale, you'll uncover new secrets, unravel old mysteries, and experience new heights of royalty with your family!" - Olivia

I hope the “unravel old mysteries” is in part, reference to what part Jackson played in Liam’s mother’s second child. And with the whole secret society thing, who knows what’s gonna happen. 

Queen B, Book 2

You just can’t get enough of us, can you, newbie? Enjoy that high of being Queen B… Because what goes up, must always come down. - Kisses, the T.

Oooh, we're excited! Writers Chelsa and Maya have sent us this cryptic message:

🤫🙈✉️👑🐝🔥❌🎧🐍💋

What do you think it means?

Emojis and I have a terrible history so I ain’t gonna try and decrypt that (leave a reply if you do). As for the book itself, I am looking forward to it, aside from the forced Kingsley romance, I enjoyed book 1. I looking forward to the mystery element and hopefully seeing Zoey get her proper LI treatment, and hopefully see Veronica & Carter become LIs.

More New Books in the works!

We are continuing to work on more multi-gender books, including Blades of Light & Shadow 2 launching 2022.

More books. Yay (in theory (depends what they are))

News about Other Sequels

Many of you have asked when or if your favorite books would continue. We want to make sure we inform the community with confirmed and finalized details regarding sequels. To explain a little more in depth about how Choices sequels are decided, our Head of Content Max took some time to give us that insight:

After a great deal of consideration and discussion, we have decided that officially these series will not be getting additional books: Most Wanted, Hero, Nightbound, the It Lives series, The Elementalists, Distant Shores, and Ride-or-Die.I know this may be disappointing to hear, and the truth is, we’re always disappointed when we have to make this decision. I’d like to share a little bit of our process to help you understand why this happens.

Whilst it is a shame, it is nice to have clarification, especially with Most Wanted & Hero. I was surprised to see that Ride or Die won’t be getting a sequel, but sometimes these things happen. As for It Lives, Distant Shores, Elementalists, and Nightbound, I knew they wouldn’t get sequels, but it is a bit of a heart punch to see some personal faves get an official status of concluded.

About once a month, I, along with a small group of Pixelberry's senior staff, make the hard decisions about which books will be written next. Deciding whether or not we make a sequel is an evolving process that we've refined over the years. But even today, it remains ever-changing, and it's never simple.

So I don’t really know what to say here, it’s rather self explanatory. So, yeah.

Sometimes, we want to do a sequel but the Lead Writer is no longer available because they’ve moved onto another project or even left the company. We've tried changing Lead Writers in the past, only to watch sequels struggle, losing sight of what made the original great. This is what happened in the case of Ride or Die; we simply don’t have the team now with the passion and vision to give fans the sequel they crave.

I saw a post by @thefirstcourtesan​ that OH and ROD share a book lead and after what happened to OH2, it is understandable what happens, and sometimes these things will happen. As for ROD, it works as a standalone, and I am okay with there not being a sequel.

Sometimes a book is a critical darling, beloved by both fans and Pixelberry staff... yet the player numbers aren't there to justify doing another one. This is what happened, for example, with Nightbound, Most Wanted and Distant Shores; while these books were beloved by their players, simply not enough players were starting them to begin with. And these are the ones that hurt the most. We genuinely love these books, but if they haven’t found enough of an audience with our players, then it’s very hard to argue for making a sequel. Believe me, I can't think of a single writer on my team who isn't passionate about their book, but ultimately we are one company in an extremely competitive space, and we have to do whatever it takes to keep running well. If a Book costs significantly more to make than it brought in, it’s very difficult to justify a sequel.

Again, I don’t really know what to say here, again it’s rather self explanatory. Given how long it’s been since Most Wanted, it was safe to say BK2 weren’t happening. 

Other times, everyone online seems to hate a book, but the numbers disagree. It's hard to believe, but your most loathed book -- the one that you feel no way deserved a sequel -- might actually be the one that's keeping the lights on for us. And without those books (and those players!), half a dozen other beloved titles may never have existed. We're thankful for sequels. They help us fund future books and projects to try new things. If it weren’t for the success of sequels to books like The Royal Romance and America’s Most Eligible, we would never have been able to try a risky experiment like Blades of Light and Shadow.

This comes across a tiny bit boasty, but it is kinda true, their more generally released romance books are why we get the big ones such as Blades, and I know people diamond mine the quicker released books for the big ones. So, yeah, I don’t really know how to say it, sorry.

We love our online fandom, and your passion, creativity, and art. At the same time, the most visible parts of the fandom sometimes represent a smaller percentage of our players, many of whom might have completely different taste. We have a vast varied player base, and our job is to try as hard as we can to create interesting stories for all of them.

Finally, saying no to one book almost always means saying yes to something new. And without new there is no Pixelberry. When we said no to Most Wanted, much of that team went on to write Endless Summer. When we decided to stop making sequels to Rules of Engagement, that team went on to create The Royal Romance.

With every new book we create, I hope against hope that it'll be our next hit, the start of a ten-volume series that fans will love and support! Some of them are. Some of them aren't. Either way, I hope you stick with us. Sequels are great. So are new things, and I hope most of all that your true favorite Choices book is still out there, waiting to be written.

The fandom is going to make up a small section of it and at the end of the day, they are a company, so the numbers are gonna be what counts. And in saying no to a sequel, it means they can go on to experiment with new story ideas. 

Looking Forward

Internally we've been working on the representation promises that we made in June 2020. We've implemented some new Black hairstyles into With Every Heartbeat, and will continue to add more new hairstyles in our upcoming books. We plan on posting a representation blog in the coming months to share a full update of our progress.

So I am curious to see how VIP players would react to updates to With Every Heartbeat, but I am glad to see representation being shown and that they are working on it.

Last but not least... We appreciate you <3

We’ve seen a rise in constructive criticism in our social channels and want to personally thank you for all of your honest feedback. We read all of your concerns and continue to evolve our thinking and processes based on your feedback. At the same time we take our responsibility of crafting stories very seriously. Sometimes we disagree with suggestions or due to constraints can’t enable changes we agree with, but we do try to improve over time and learn from your feedback.

We also continue to ask that you communicate with each other respectfully. And keep in mind that just like with other parts of the internet, just because someone posts something doesn’t mean it’s always true. To everyone who helps keep our community a safe place to freely share your thoughts, opinions and love - thank you. Your respect and kindness goes a long way, and we are looking forward to spending more time with all of you in the coming year.

We’re looking forward to a great 2021 with you!

Finally, I’m glad that they’re reading what people are saying, it is understandable that there will be disagreements with suggestions, that’s just life, it’s human nature. I am curious to see what will be released in the coming year and how they will play out.

In summary

I had a feeling that books they said won’t get sequels weren’t, especially Hero and Most Wanted. It is sad to see that It Lives won’t be concluded, and I knew Nightbound & Distant Shores weren’t going to get sequels (unfortunately).

Glad to see them making more multi gender books, hopefully we will get more like Foreign Affairs with the different pro-noun options.

I am curious about Laws of Attraction and very much looking forward to seeing how Crimes of Passion will play out. I will post my thoughts and theories as we get new information

Stay safe everyone :)

#playchoices #thoughts and theories #very long post

[snowdice]

Road Trips and Missing Persons (Part 9)

Fandom: Sanders Sides

Relationships: Patton & Virgil, Virgil & Deceit, Logan & Patton, Emile & Remy, Roman & Remus & Janus

Characters: Patton, Virgil, Deceit, Remus, Roman, Logan, Emile, Remy

Summary: Patton was just getting groceries. The next thing he knew, there was a knife at his throat and he was an unwilling uber driver. Virgil’s on the run after the murder of his dad, and it’s not just his paranoia that’s telling him he’s being chased down. He has to get somewhere safe, somewhere he can trust, and all he has is a couple of stories from his dad and a name: “Green Bellow Foods and Dispensary.”

Notes: Secret Agents AU, knives, carjacking, kidnapping, murder mentioned, guns mentioned, pepper spray, blood mentioned, drugs mentioned (more to be added)

This is a fic I’ve been writing on study breaks that you have probably all already seen at this point. I’ve affectionately named it the Goblin Brain Fic because it’s helping my brain actually get motivated for studying. I’ve slightly edited it for wording and grammar, but not for content from my previous posts. Feel free to send in asks to direct it because I’m not 100% sure where this is going and you can help decide if you feel so inclined! You can see the process I went through to build this at this link.

Part 1 Part 2 Part 3 Part 4 Part 5 Part 6 Part 7 Part 8 My Master Post

After a few minutes of silence, Patton glanced over at the kiddo to see that he was curled against the car door, fast asleep. Patton grinned at the cute sight. He was an adorable little carjacker.

Thinking on that… The knife was left abandoned on the seat next to his thigh. Patton reached over carefully and grabbed the medium sized kitchen knife. He slid it into the pocket on the driver’s side door.

A practiced criminal, the boy was not. Which brought forth the question of why he had carjacked Patton. He was clearly running from something, but what and why?

Patton wished the boy would tell him his name. If he gave Patton a last name, he might be able to figure out who he was. If he was going to Green Bellow Foods, that meant he somehow knew about the agency or at least he knew someone who did and figured that they could help. He’d said his dad “knew the owner.” Patton could surmise from that statement that his father probably knew Logan (was possibly and agent) and that he was likely dead. Patton wondered if that death was recent and the reason the boy was on the run or if it had happened a while ago and the initiator of this situation was something else.

Either way, he was awfully young for… well whatever was happening to him, Patton didn’t actually know. Whatever it was, it made Patton sad.

Patton continued to drive toward their destination listening to the silly radio show the kiddo had picked out with wry amusement for another 15 minutes before ‘Anxiety’ started to stir. His eyes flickered open and he made a confused noise, squinting at his surroundings. He looked over at Patton and Patton did his level best not to coo at him.

“Tired?” he asked.

Anxiety made a grumbly sound and moved to rub the sleep out of his eye. As he moved his wrist, a flash of red light caught Patton’s eye and apparently Anxiety’s as well. He moved his wrist away from his face and blinked at it for a long moment. Patton watched confusion and then fear flash across his features. He ripped the bracelet with its blinking red light off his wrist and rolled down the car window. He’d thrown it out onto the interstate before Patton could even process what was happening.

“What was that?” Patton asked, confused.

“It’s a tracker, I’m being tracked,” he fretted. He wrapped his arms around his abdomen like he was going to be sick and curled forward into a ball.

“Hey,” Patton said softly. He reached over to touch the boy’s shoulder. “Hey, it’s okay.”

“It’s not,” he boy said, his breathing starting to come fast. “It’s not okay.”

“Let’s calm down and think about this,” Patton soothed, rubbing a circle into his skin with his thumb while looking for someplace to pull off. “How do you know it’s not someone good looking for you?” he asked.

“Because my dad gave me that tracker and my dad’s fucking dead.”

Oh. Patton had assumed, but it was still sad to hear. From the tone of his voice, Patton assumed it was recent. “Well, does anyone else know about it?” he asked.

“I don’t know. I don’t think so,” he said. He started to yank on the sleeves of his hoodie, stretching the fabric near his wrist, “maybe my uncle.”

“Did you try to get into contact with your uncle at any point before running?”

Anxiety shook his head. “I didn’t have time and I didn’t want them to track my calls, so I turned my cell phone off.”

“Well, you’re already being tracked now,” Patton pointed out. “Calling can’t do any more damage and it might do some good if you can get ahold of him.”

He bit his lip. “I guess you’re right. Maybe I should try.”

He reached into his front pocket and pulled out a phone. He held down the power button until the screen lit up. “That,” he said, staring at his phone screen. “Is a lot of missed calls.”

“From who?” Patton asked.

“It’s a couple of unknown numbers.” His body language screamed terrified as he looked at the screen.

“Hey,” Patton said. “Do me a favor before you call?”

“What?” he asked.

“Reach into the pocket on the back of the seat you’re on and grab what’s inside.”

Anxiety squinted over at him. “This isn’t a trap is it?”

“What trap do you expect I keep hidden in there?” Patton asked amused.

“I dunno. A gun?”

“Ah, yes,” Patton said, unable to stop himself from grinning. “The age-old trap of giving the person who carjacked you a gun.”

“Well, maybe it’s a bomb.”

“In my car?” Patton said slowly. “Where we both currently are? Sitting a few inches apart?”

“A snapping turtle then!” Anxiety… snapped.

Patton just glanced over at him with a raised eyebrow.

“Fine,” he muttered. He turned slightly in his seat and reached his arm around the back of it. He pulled the contents out and brought it into the front seat. “A teddy bear?” he asked, nose wrinkling adorably in his confusion.

“His name’s Barnaby!” Patton said.

“Why?” Anxiety asked.

“Well he has to have a name.”

“No, why do you have a stuffed animal named Barnaby in your car?”

“He’s for emergencies,” Patton explained.

“What type of emergencies need a teddy bear named Barnaby.”

“This type of emergency,” Patton said. “You can squeeze him when you’re feeling ‘anxious,’ Anxiety.” He winked when the boy looked over.

Anxiety rolled his eyes but squeezed the bear’s pudgy stomach once. “Thanks,” he said after a moment.

“Of course!” Patton said. “Now, why don’t you try calling your uncle?”

Anxiety took a breath. “Yeah,” he said.

He typed a couple of buttons and then put the phone to his ear. “It went straight to voicemail,” Anxiety said. “That’s bad isn’t it?”

It could be, but Patton didn’t say that. “Maybe he just has his phone off for some reason. Is there anyone else you could call that might know where he is or anything about what’s going on?”

Anxiety thought for a few seconds and then he was messing with his phone again without responding to Patton. He pressed the phone to his ear and waited. He pulled it away after a moment and held down the power button until it turned off again. He stuffed the phone back in his pocket, eyes shining with tears.

“Hey,” Patton soothed. “Why don’t I get off the interstate at the next exit and we can figure out what to do.”

“I’m not going to the police,” Anxiety replied.

“That isn’t what I was suggesting. Continuing down the interstate’s going to be pretty predictable if you’re being tracked. We need to figure out what’s the best option from here.”

“You’re probably right,” he conceded. “Why are you even helping me though?”

“You seem like a good kid.”

“I kidnapped you by knife point,” he pointed out, but undermined his point by sniffling a bit.

“A good kid in a spot of trouble then.”

Anxiety gave him a skeptical look, but Patton just kept driving until he found the next exit at a small town.

Patton pulled into a gas station parking lot. “Get the map from the glove box, please?”

Anxiety leaned forward to do so and handed it to him.

“Okay,” Patton said looking at the map. “We’ve been driving for about two hours on the interstate minus our stop for dinner and we’re in Bluesburge,” he pointed at the little town on the map. So, we’re about 100 miles away from the factory. Now we’ve got two choices: continue to travel on the interstate or find some back roads.”

Patton looked over the map and did some calculations in his head. He’d never taken the back roads from Bluesburge to base before, but he had driven all around this area at the request of Logan who insisted his agents have a good lay of the land. (Patton had used that excuse to make his brother take him on many ice-cream runs over the years. Logan was always mad when he figured out halfway there what Patton had done and would rip into him about being lactose intolerant but could be soothed with mint chocolate chip.)

“The back roads would probably take about 45 minutes extra,” Patton said, “but it would be less predictable.”

“Back roads,” Anxiety said without hesitation. It was what Patton was going to suggest anyway, so he nodded.

“Alrighty then,” he agreed. “I’m going to have to get gas really quick. Why don’t you run in, go to the bathroom if you need to, and grab a snack while I do? I’ll give you money.” He reached into his wallet and grabbed a twenty. “Get me a coffee, please. We might be up late. Ooo, and a donut if they still have any at this time of day. If not, one of those pre-packaged cinnamon rolls are fine.”

“Um…” Anxiety said. “But you’re my prisoner?”

Patton raised an eyebrow at him, and he blinked down at the car seat.

“… Where’s the knife?”

Patton reached over to pat him on the shoulder.

“Wait… am… am I kidnapped now?” he asked.

“If you were kidnapped, I wouldn’t be sending you in to get snack food, silly,” Patton said as he brandished the twenty-dollar bill in his direction.

He took it slowly, his nose scrunched up. “You’re a weird adult,” he mumbled. “Why did I choose the weird adult to kidnap?” He turned and opened the car door before walking into the gas station.

Want to read more? Click below!

Part 10

#sanders sides #patton sanders #virgil sanders #platonic moxiety #janus sanders #emile picani #remy sanders #remus sanders #roman sanders #creativitwins #logan sanders #adriana writes #road trips and missing persons #knives #kidnapping #carjacking #murder mentioned #guns mentioned