#i didn't realise something so small could cause a seizure

[chrisevansdaughter]

Here’s just a little filler to be posted before i post around 2-3 more oneshots later on <3

Seizures - Chris and Sebastian

Sebastian -

It was normal for you to have seizures every once in a while as when you were little because your parents realised that it was something that happened more often than not due to a small defect on the brain at birth that was found about 8 years later when you were 10 that never was a problem before hand. But the doctors were never really concerned.

——————-

So with Sebastian being you're older brother by 7 years, he was used to how you were before, during and after any seizure you'd have. It just happened to be whilst you were both out with your brother's best friends Chris and Mackie that you'd have one.

As you were walking to lunch you'd felt more fuzzier as time went on, steps were heavier and everything just felt spaced out and farther away than it was. as time went on it got the boys attention, they all notice almost immediately what was going to happen since other than Seb, the boys were used to this and knew the signs.

Seb came beside you and guided you to a place where it was secluded in the restaurant since you were literally right out side, after Mackie went to explain to the staff what was happening and that they'd need somewhere private.

**smol bean time skip**

After everyone was situated and you were all somewhere private Seb and Chris helped you on to the floor Sebastian asked if you were okay, since he could see that you were about to fully go in to a seizure.

But that was the one thing about you even though you've had seizures for as long as you could remember even if they were every couple of months, it never took the fear away from how they just happen and you couldn't control when or where.

"Honey, you are safe. Chris, Mackie and I are here you're okay." he said reassuring you like he did every time before a seizure making sure you were in a safe recovery position

————————-

Soon enough your body started to convulse on the floor, Seb was reassuring you whilst you seized, Chris was timing and Mackie made sure one of the staff that was with you had water waiting for you when you'd finally came around.

Roughly 3 minutes later, you'd came around groggy and exhausted.

"What happened?" you asked to literally whoever answered in the room first

Chris piped up saying "We're at the restaurant in the back, you've just had seizure. You're okay sweetheart Seb and Mackie are here with us." whilst giving you a hug after helping you up.

Honestly after all of that you all decided to go back to Seb's and order take out just so you could nap plus you all didn't want to really be seen in public today anyway.

Chris -

No one expected you as the twin of the famous Captain America actor to be born with Epilepsy. 

Epilepsy being a common condition that affects the brain and causes frequent seizures. Seizures are bursts of electrical activity in the brain that temporarily affect how it works. 

It was never on the cards for risks as a twin pregnancy but alas it happened when the doctors realised that you had it when you had to both say in hospital since you were born early which was normal for twins. 

However that's just how life played out for you and Chris as twins. There were good days and bad ones, this was unfortunately one of the bad ones; but as always Chris, Scott and Dodger were there to help.

There were two main types of seizures you were known to have one being absent seizures whilst the other was the tonic seizures.

————————

The day started as it always did with you, Scott and Chris going out fir a walk with Dodger, you'd felt off for most of the morning and to be honest i think both of my brothers could see that Chris a bit more because of the twin bond you joked about having.

You started to feel spaced out and 'not there' in a sense when you got back and was sat in the living  room and Chris tried to get my attention but obviously noticed quite quickly what was going on so sat next to me and just reassured me once the absent had passed

As the day got later; it got to the point where you'd had 4 absent seizures in the space of 25 minutes so Chris was sat with you if he couldn't Scott would since more than 3 absent seizures were one of your red flags since you only had maybe 1-2 a day. Rightfully so as the amazing brothers you had they were worried that you'd have a tonic seizure.

**Smol time skip courtesy  of dodger sitting with his lion**

You were all chilling in the living room after eating some takeout. Scott asked what you should all watch and whilst you were having that conversation Chris noticed you started lightly twitching on your left side so when he came up to you he noticed that a common tell that you were having a seizure is that you're eyes would roll so he'd have Scott time it whilst he sat in front of you having his hands hovering at the waist just in case

"y/n, bubs are you back with us?" he asked hoping you were just coming out of the seizure and it wasn't just carrying on from the last one. Whilst he asked that Scott went to the kitchen to get you an juice box for the sugar content since that helped as your sugars were known to be low after a seizure and some meds so nothing more would hopefully happen tonight anymore.

"mhmm" was all you could give out as a reply to Chris' question so Scott and him helped you get up to bed and to take your meds once you were fully back, since you have always made it clear that seizures are tiring  so it didn't come as a surprise when you knocked out as soon as you hit the pillow. 

That was just one of the many days with your brothers that was just another bonding experience that made the three of your sibling bond so much stronger.

——————————

Hoping you all well and as always reposts are Welcome!

<3

#chris evans #chris evans x y/n #chris evans x reader #chris evans x reader fluff #chrisevansdaughter #chris evans x sister!reader #sebastian stan #sebastian stan x reader #sister reader

[faofinn]

Day 4 - Pain

@mediwhumpmay

Finn was used to being the happy one, the one that didn’t get bothered by small things, and would still find something childish in it all. And yet, it wasn’t always like that, he didn’t always feel happy. Sure, he had his seizures, and everyone knew that, knew the chaos and destruction they caused. But that seemed to be as far as it went. Everyone seemed to forget the chronic pain that came with it, the stupid brain fog, and the even stupider dislocations when his joints gave up.

It had been a long week, the hours at work seeming to just drag with each minute. By his last shift, he was ready to cry. He had cried several times in the toilets, but that was becoming the new norm. 

By the time he got home, everything was screaming, and he just wanted his bed. He could hear Fao pottering on in the kitchen as he pushed the front door open, and he sighed. So much for sneaking past him. He called out to his brother, letting him know he was home safe, and then headed to his room. He flopped on his bed, wiggled out of his clothes, and then burritoed himself in his duvet and broke.

When Finn got in, Fao was surprised he only called out to him, and didn’t come to bother him like he usually did. He carried on with the dinner prep, but when his brother didn’t reappear after half an hour or so, he headed upstairs to see if he was alright. He was suspiciously quiet, and Finn was never quiet. 

He knocked gently on his door before he pushed it open. “Finn?”

Finn had his back to the door, the duvet pulled over him. "What?"

“Are you okay?”

"I'm fine."

“Can I get you anything?”

"No." He didn't bother to move.

“What’s wrong?” Fao asked, moving closer. This wasn’t Finn, not in the slightest. 

"Nothing. I'm tired."

“I’m going to put dinner on soon. Shall I bring it up to you in here?”

The thought of food turned his stomach. "No thanks."

“You gonna come down?”

"No."

“What’s wrong?” He asked again. 

"I'm just tired, Fao." He said shortly. 

“Bad shift?

Finn snorted. "Aren't they always?"

“Yeah, it can get like that.”

"It's whatever."

“Do you want me to send the dog in to snuggle with you?”

"No." He'd only step on him and make everything so much worse.

Fao sighed. “Alright. I’ll save some dinner for you, if you don’t want to eat yet. Shout if you need me?”

"I'm fine. I'm not hungry, but thanks."

“Alright. Well, you know where I am.” Fao said. 

Fao just wasn't leaving, and Finn gave a frustrated grumble,though it quickly shifted into a whimper as he moved. "Just shut my door."

Fao didn’t miss the whimper, but wasn’t convinced Finn was going to open up to him. “Okay. Love you.” He murmured, heading out of the room and shutting the door behind him.

Finn was glad of the peace and quiet, getting comfortable once more. His painkillers hadn't kicked in, and the pain was just clouding his thoughts more and more. They had more downstairs, and after a long deliberation, he realised he had no choice. 

He grabbed his hoodie from the floor, his feet shoved into his slipper socks. Hopefully Fao was off being busy, or even walking the dog, because he couldn’t be dealing with another conversation. 

Unfortunately for Finn, Fao was doing neither of those things. He’d chucked food in the oven, and had settled on the sofa whilst it cooked, scrolling through his phone with the dog on his lap. 

Well, fuck. He did his best to sneak past, but the meds weren't where he’d left them, and he couldn’t work out where they'd be. Frustrated and close to tears, he headed back to Fao. 

"Who moved my morphine?"

Fao looked up, frowning. “Your morphine?”

"Yes, where is it?" He knew he was whining, but he didn’t care.

“Uh, I’ve not touched it. Where did you have it last?” He asked, gently moving the dog and standing up. “Let’s go have a look.”

"It was in the cupboard." He said quietly, scrubbing his face. 

Fao hummed. “Alright. Are you in a lot of pain?”

"The codeine didn’t touch it." He admitted. 

“We’ll find the morphine.” Fao reassured him. “You want to sit down whilst I look?”

"Yeah." He offered him a small smile. "Thank you."

“Tell pup to piss off if he’s annoying.” Fao said, and went to look in Finn’s cupboard for the drugs. He returned with it after a few minutes, having found it exactly where Finn said it would be. Not that that surprised him - his brother was a nightmare at finding things, even when he wasn’t in pain and tired. 

“Found it for you.”

Finn looked up hopefully. "You have?"

Fao offered him the bottle. “Yeah. In the cupboard where you said it was.”

"The aliens must've taken it." He muttered, reaching for the bottle and syringe. 

“Must’ve just had a Finn look.” Fao teased softly. “Can I get you anything else? Some juice? I know it doesn’t taste nice.”

"Yes please."

Fao went and grabbed Finn a glass of juice from the kitchen, and then sat down next to him. “Here.”

"Thank you." He said softly, taking the morphine before curling onto Fao.

“It’s okay.” He said softly. “You get comfy.”

"Love you."

“Love you too.”

#mediwhumpmay #mediwhumpmay2023 #whump prompt #chronic pain #pain #whump writing #faolan blackwood #finn daniels #fic #oc #poor finn's chronic pain #brothers in more than arms #post tbi #tbi #morphine #finn can't find anything at the best of times let alone with pain induced brain fog

[prideiicons]

can you please tag blinkies with flashing? they almost caused me to have a seizure

sorry about that, i’ll do that from now on! i hope you’re alright

-mod millie

#mod millie #i didn't realise something so small could cause a seizure #that must be difficult! #anonymous #ask

[acidicwriting]

Billie Eilish -Lovely feat.Khalid

Isn't it lovely all alone

Heart made of glass my mind of stone

Tear me to pieces skin to bone

Hello,welcome home

She lay on her back,the bed sheet caressing her skin with a smooth touch.The sheet covering her didn't seem to offer her any warmth. Alyssa's fingers were cold, body involuntarily shivering whenever a cool gust of wind blew in through the half-open window.Her previously harsh sobs had subsided into silent tears that now only remained as dried-up tracks on her face.Her heartbeat was even,no longer hammering against her chest .Her whole being was now eerily calm, similar to a formerly angry bee, buzzing with menace before being smoked into serenity.A brilliant flash of light danced across the sky,turning it green for a moment,followed by the loud clap of Thor beating his hammer high up in the heavens yet she lay impervious to it.

As if on cue, Patches darted into her room and jumped up on her bed with a shaky meow.The cat's eyes were wide, bottle brush tail flicking in the air as he made his way to Alyssa , sniffing her face before climbing onto her chest and taking a seat. He looked regal really, posture like that of a noble general marching his brave soldiers into the battleground.She was going to miss him.The comfort he brought simply with his presence was unparallelled.His meows, his purrs, that look of smug satisfaction on his face he when he caught a cockroach and brought it back to proudly show off to her.Those two lone patches of brown on the base of his ears that contrasted softly with his white fur.Even his weight on her chest was reassuring .Like everything was going to be alright in the world. Only it wasn't. Not for her.

But that was fine, really. She'd come to terms with it.It all had to end now. No more anxiety, no more constant self-loathing, no more loneliness. She felt numb. And oh,so tired. Her hands were stable as they softly scratched the top of Patches' little head. The kitten responded by resting his chin on his feet and closing his eyes.It seemed like a nice enough way to go ; lying on her bed, cozy, with the only creature in the world that never made her feel silly or worthless,who looked at her with unconditional love brimming in those icy blue eyes.She felt a sharp pang of guilt in her heart as she thought about how Patches would feel when he finally realised his master was dead.In the goodbye message she'd sent Alicia,she'd told her to take care of the cat in her permanent absence. She had turned off her phone so there was no chance of her getting a reply text. Not that she'd get one too soon anyway. Alicia hardly had time to check what her attention-seeking little sister texted her,what with her jam-packed schedule. Who'd actually notice her absence first? Her father? Her sister? Certainly not her "friends". At least she'd filled several bowls of food and water for Patches so he could survive on his own for a while.And if those ran out then,well,he could just eat her right?

Her lunch was leftover linguine with a simple sauce.Last night it had tasted like spring and sunshine on a plate.Today it tasted like ash.She managed to chew and swallow the whole thing, walked to the bathroom,gulped down the contents of the little orange bottle of Ambien and washed that down with a bottle of wine.Then she lay down, waiting for the inevitable to happen.

Her wait wasn't a long one. In less than a half hour her inhalations began to consecutively become shallower with her heart rate picking up.Her lips felt dry and when she tried to lick them even her tongue turned out to be parched .Calm down,she told herself, it's okay. She attempted to swallow but that small action stung as if her throat were scraped raw on the inside. She needed water. Right then.

Alyssa sat up ,dislocating Patches ,and promptly fell back onto her sheets, hit by a sudden wave of light-headedness. Inhaling deeply she sat back up, her arms quivering as she pushed herself off the bed, only to take two steps forward before plummeting to the floor. Her legs felt like jelly.Everything looked hazy.She blinked hard, trying to clear her unfocused eyes but to no avail.Heart pounding, she crawled to the dresser on top of which her phone was. She reached out with her hands but only ended up pushing it farther away brushing her fingers against it.Alyssa was slightly breathless now,mouth hung open, insides twisting as she tried to push herself up holding the dresser drawers but found that her body didn't really do what she wanted it to anymore and fell back limply on the ground with a loud thud.Her body felt like it had been hit by a truck.Her hands were shaking and she couldn't do anything to stop them,the muscles of her legs,back and shoulders were contracting wildly yet she was utterly helpless.Her throat seemed to be closing up.Her mouth still hung open but except for the loud gasps of breath she inhaled and exhaled she could make no other sound.She was crying now, screaming in her head for someone to come save her. This was not how her life was supposed to end.Her body was not supposed to betray her like this.Alyssa felt a wild stab of fear clawing at her insides that came with the blunt realisation that she was not ready to die."Help me please please anybody please just someone help me " the voice inside her head kept screaming and screaming and screaming while all that came out of her mouth were small choked whimpers and gasps.She could hear Patches wailing loudly, scared of whatever was happening to her before running off into another part of the house,seemingly eager to put a distance between them and leaving her to fend for herself. It was hot,so unbearably hot.Her body felt like it was blistering. Her eyes burned as they fluttered shut.

She could hear a voice and the sound of footsteps .Someone was in her apartment. "I'M IN HERE! " the voice in her head screamed. It was a familiar voice that said "Uh, Alyssa it's me Johnny from next door, I brought your cat back.He came into my apartment meowing his ass off and it was actually kinda freaky 'cause I thought he was feral but then I saw the collar and HOLY FUCKING SHIT WHAT HAPPENED" he had walked right into the doorway to her room.Johnny dropped Patches and rushed to her side, turning her on her back to feel her neck for a pulse and simultaneously calling and shrieking the address to a 911 operator. Patches anxiously paced half circles around the both of them,sniffing Alyssa's trembling hands and wailing loudly at her .

The last thing Alyssa saw before losing her consciousness was the face of a medic as she pulled her left eye open,aimed a flashlight at it and yelled something to someone behind behind her.

Everything happened in a rush after the medics came.Alyssa was heaved onto a stretcher,her still-convulsing body strapped down and pulled inside an ambulance that sped away instantly with Johnny in it with her.She was wheeled to the operating room, tubes attached to her arms,a particularly big tube in her mouth pumping in the necessary fluids. The doors closed behind Alyssa and the emergency medical team, separating them from Johnny who had been running right beside them. He stood there, shaking with fright before sinking into one of the couches with his face in his hands. What the hell just happened? Why was Alyssa having a grand mal seizure in the middle of the day? How long had she been like that before he found her? What would have happened if her cat hadn't run to his apartment?Was she even going to make it?

Alyssa was trapped in a nightmare.She kept running but they always found her. The malicious enigmas that her subconscious had created.There were many.People she used to know,people she didn't remember ever seeing.She didn't know exactly what it was about them that terrified her.Maybe it was simply their malicious aura,or maybe it was the way they smiled at her.Cold smiles with sinister eyes .They smiled like they knew a secret of hers.As they'd try to grab her they'd laugh.And when she got away they's scream and moan as if they were in pain.There was a small boy too.He wore a yellow shirt,black pants and black shoes.He never approached her.He stayed in the shadows, just quietly watching her.There was something about him that absolutely terrified her. On seeing him her breaths stuttered, she'd shake and just collapse. Was this all in her head?Or was it real life? Was she simply trapped in another dimension?Was this limbo? Or was this where the dead stayed? If that was the case where were the others?

There was a light now. A brilliant light that had an otherworldly quality to it.It seemed to emanate a soft music. And she inexplicably found herself being drawn to it. She took a step towards it, entranced, reached out a hand only to be pulled back into darkness with a shriek.The monsters were back.

After what seemed like an eternity of suffering,Alyssa's eyes flickered open.And to her massive surprise she found herself in a hospital room, with needles in her arm, what looked like a catheter hooked on her torso and the sound of beeping from the device measuring her heart rate.'What the hell?'she thought and turned her head to the left to see Johnny sitting there tapping away on his phone. He looked so out of place in the drab,pale cream room, dressed in a pink t-shirt, black jeans and white shoes. And yet he looked so good. She suddenly felt inferior and oddly exposed to him in the hospital gown with its thin,white material,hair that was most probably matted to her head and her pale skin.Awkwardly fumbling with the sheets,she tried to pull them all over herself when he looked up and went "Oh thank god you're awake I was beginning to get worried" with a smile so bright she could only stare for a moment before she snapped out of it. "Why were you worried?" it came out harsh due to her not having spoken in a while but Johnny either didn't notice or just chose to ignore it because the next second he was going off about how he was so scared when he found her, and the doctors gave him a mini heart attack when they declared that she had died on the table and then almost fainting in relief when that one particularly determined doctor who seemed to just not know how to give up had miraculously brought Alyssa back from the dead. "YOU WERE DEAD FOR 2 MINUTES AND 42 SECONDS ALYSSA THAT'S ALMOST LIKE 3 FUCKING MINUTES" .He then proceeded to explain how her sister had showed up that night in tears."I swear she would've wiped the floor with the face of that nurse who told her she couldn't see you in the icu right then if I wasn't holding her back" and how Alicia practically lived in her hospital room for the entirety of four days and only went home to shower when Johnny visited each day. " I told her you're up.She's on the way now, it's gonna take her,like,10 minutes and she says to tell you that she's gonna kill you". "Oh" is all the reply Alyssa can muster before a doctor walks in with with a nurse and a woman who introduces herself saying "Hi, Alyssa my name is Charlotte" "She's one of our doctors who are going to see you during your stay here", added the doctor. After a moment she again replied with a quiet "Oh",which seemed to be the only word in Alyssa's muddled, slow brain yet her heart rate had picked up and she began to fidget uncomfortably at the idea of having to talk to someone. She spaced out, didn't even notice them leaving or Johnny resuming his seat on the couch and refocusing his attention to his phone. "Thanks Johnny" she said when she finally came to her senses. He smiled softly at her, "Don't sweat it" he said before he went back to his phone.His smile seemed to calm her down a little.She looked to her right and there was a tray laden with soup and a glass of orange juice.She carefully picked up the glass, pleasantly surprised to see she had the strength to do so, and took a small sip. It tasted bitter. She put it back down and settled back against the pillow,at ease. Her calmness didn't last long ; the next moment her door was flung open and there she was. Alicia, her older sister who didn't really seem to care before but now had eyes brimming with tears.She half-ran to her bed and flung herself at Alyssa and held her so tightly Alyssa wasn't sure if her sudden lack of breath was due to the fact that she herself was overcome with emotions or her sister's stronghold on her. And she seemed to not even care about that because they were both sobbing now,shoulders shaking,saying words the other couldn't comprehend.Johnny excused himself with an awkward "I'll get going then",leaving the door open behind him.

When Alicia finally detached herself, Alyssa found herself become nervous again about having to explain her actions. She opened her mouth, about to say something when Alicia gasps and reaches for her handbag, through which the head of a certain cat with white fur and a lone brown patch at the base of each ear could be seen "I couldn't not bring him he's missed you so much. Johnny says he's been crying for you all the time",she said,letting him out .He runs to Alyssa, meowing, without missing a beat. Patches stands on her half sitting body, hind paws on her stomach, soft front paws on her chest, sniffing her face and then rubbing his head on her face while meowing.Alyssa realised she loved this cat to death.While Johnny may have called an ambulance it was Patches who had run off to Johnny's to bring him to her.She hugged the cat to herself, kissing his small head."Johnny took care of him?" she asked Alicia."Yeah he loves the cat he says it basically saved you", she replied, in an amused voice. "He did,he's my furry little hero" Alyssa said, kissing his head again and smiling softly. "I'll be there for you from now on Aly". Alyssa froze, her mind immediately blanking but as hard as she struggled she couldn't find any words to form a sort of reply.In lieu she said "The door's open".Alicia's face portrayed hurt as she stammered " OH I um yeah I'll leave I'm sorry I know I-" "I didn't mean that you have to leave I just don't want the staff or a doctor to see Patches in here with me". "Oh thank god" Alicia said, visibly relieved as she quickly went to the door and shut it. When she came and sat back down at Alyssa's side she took a deep breath and said "Johnny's hot" Alyssa snorted before replying "Tell me about it". In response her sister smirked "I think he likes you" ."Alicia he calls me a crazy cat lady ", Alyssa replied half exasperated half amused. Alicia grinned, "He told them you two were engaged". "He what ?". Alicia's grin grew bigger "Well they wouldn't let him ride with you in the ambulance but apparently he had to come with you so he just lied". "He was just being the nice guy that he is?", Alyssa offered." Her sister snorted, "He so likes you."

Hi guys.So this is the first story of mine that I feel confident enough to post.It's kind of special to me.And if you've made it this far,through all that cringe shit,thank you.I hope you had a somewhat good read.Merry Christmas!🎄🎄✨

Song used:

#nct #nct 127 #nct imagines #nct angst #nct fluff #nct u #nct u imagines #nct 127 imagines #kpop angst #angst #kpop fluff #fluff #dark theme #johnny suh #johnny seo #johnny #kpop imagines #writers #writeblr #nct writing #my writing #writing

[lucisfavoritedemon]

Double Life

Pairing: Jensen x reader

Summary: You are a YouTuber who also happens to be an actor. You do YouTube when acting jobs seem to go scarce. One day you get a call from your manager saying he has found something that peaks your interest. What happens when you meet your co-star and your characters love interest? Will you keep it professional or will you let your feelings get to you?

Warnings: angst, sad!reader, mentions of death, comforting!Jensen, gruesome description of death, talk of murder, mentions of legal trouble.

Word Count: 1215

A/N: This is based on actual events so please be gentle. I had more hard hitting news about a close friend. So, I thought since I write like I am the reader I would share this heartbreaking tale the only way I know how to. I know its really dark and going to be hard to read, but the wounds are still fresh on this. I really hope you enjoy.

"Hello everyone. I am so glad you are here to share this experience with me. I wish it was on a better day or with a better, more funny story time video. Today, as you can tell by the title, is going to be kind of morbid so please bare with me." I said trying to calm my nerves.

I could see Jensen out of the corner of my eye. He wanted to be here when I filmed this video because he knows how much it still hurts. He was reassuring me I was doing good.

"Back in preschool, we had a small little program where we had a been assigned a pen-pal to learn more about the culture of where that person lived. There were people from all over the world. Some were from the states, the UK, France, all over. It was a really neat thing for a small little preschool/daycare to have.

"You had to be at least 4 years of age to be part of this program. It was a whole interview type of situation. You had to prove your basic reading and writing skills. It was a nice learning experience for me. Once you're in you have one more piece to go through. You have to show you are capable of writing legible sentences. That way the kids aren't struggling to read what you are trying to tell them.

"I was assigned a boy named Alexander. Later on I would get to know this boy and realised I never knew his last name. Anyway, he was from the UK and he was the sweetest person anyone could ever meet.

"He was three years older than me though, but a lot of the kids from different countries tended to be a little older than us. It was okay though because it was nice to have someone who knew things and could potentially teach me.

"It a program that you stayed until you were 10 years old. Then the younger of the two were assigned new pen-pals, but you had to reapply.

"Alex and I had sent letters back and forth for three years. Until he wasn't able to be in the program anymore. That didn't stop us though. Every now and again I would get a letter from him asking how I was doing and if school was going good. He asked about old friends, and if I had made new ones.

"He would ask if I wanted to talk on the phone, so we could talk hear each other's voices. It wasn't like face to face talking though. Eventually I had grown old enough for my mom to finally let me go see him again.

"At that point it had been almost 8 years since we first met. It was rough because we both love face to face contact more than anything else.

"The trip was amazing. I was so happy to see him again. My mom was so excited to meet him. He had changed, but the same time he hadn't. He was still the same dorky kid I met when I was 4. Now I was 12 and going into middle school. He was going into what would be high school for him.

"We talked, we wrote, and when I got my first phone that you could text people on, we texted all the time. It was the best thing to have a friend like him.

"On my good days we would laugh, and on my bad days he would talk to me into the late hours of the night. It was so amazing to know I was cared about by someone I had only met twice in my life.

"When I got into acting and my career I was able to fly out and see him more. He found himself a girlfriend. I didn't necessarily approve of her, but she made him happy and that's all I cared about.

"As time went on he was starting to get these really horrible headaches. Headaches that even the slightest bit of light would make him sick. He could sit in pitch black darkness and it still hurt.

"I told him he needed to go see a doctor, and finally after months of pleading he finally went. He found out he had a brain tumor. The headaches were caused by excess fluid in his brain and that he needed surgery to remove the fluid.

"He called me that night freaked out and terrified. He didn't want his life to end like this and he didn't want to do it alone.

"I told him I was always here. Just a phone call and a plane ride away. If he needed anything I was going to be on the next flight out.

"A week later he called me freaking out about surgery. He didn't want to die on an operating table. He still had things he wanted to do. Place he wanted to see.

"He still wanted to come out and see Colorado. Or go to Los Angeles. He was so determined he was going to make it out to see me one last time.

"On January 2, 2014 Alex passed away from a severe seizure. He was found in his apartment a day later. Covered in blood and vomit. And his girlfriend was nowhere to be found.

"Things have come to light in the what was just a death caused by cancer was now something that could have been prevented. It had soon become a murder investigation.

"The doctors said they had prescribed him with a new supply of epilepsy medication to help with the seizures. Looking back on the report that medication was all gone.

"His girlfriend was going charged with murder and possession of non prescription medication.

"Two days after her arrest she was found hung in her cell. The guilt finally caught up to her, or she didn't want to man up to the crime she had committed.

"Who knows how much longer Alex would've lived if she hadn't done it, but it's over and done with.

"I wanted to let you guys know that everything is okay, but him being gone for 5 years is still hurting. Alex was my best friend before I even met Jess.

"Sometime this week I should be getting a package shipped out from what he had included in his will. I finally have some justice and closure as to what happened, but it doesn't make it any easier.

"Thank you for sticking with me. I know this was a lot to handle and everything. Please if you liked this video or just liked the fact I shared something very personal please leave a like.

"I will leave a playlist of funny story time videos. Don't forget to subscribe. I will see you guys next time. Bye."

I wiped all my tears away. As I turned off the camera. It wasn't long till I was being embrace by a pair of strong arms. Jensen was truly sent to me by Alex. It's how I know he's still with me.

He knew that Jensen would be able to provide me what he provided me. That was the coolest thing. It's how I know Jensen is the one.

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