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freshlove-sturn · 5 months

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i know i JUST sent a request but if you don't like that one, maybe you could write one where chris and the reader are just friends and there's one day when chris is in a bad mood bc the triplets and the reader had planned to go out, but the reader gets her period and can't go, so chris is just being bitchy towards everyone and matt tells nick "it's probably bc his girlfriend isn't here" and chris debies it; then maybe it gets chris thinking about how much better his day would be is the reader was actually his girlfriend so he could comfort her while she's on her period ? and maybe that motivates him to ask her out ? idk

i hate that i said something so specific, you could take the idea and make it your own if you prefer ! thank you 🩷 :)

philia

part 1 part 2

philia (greek)- affectionate love. a type of love that involves friendship. this is the kind of live that friends have for each other. greek philosopher, plato, beloved that philia was stronger than the love that is eros (physical/ sexual desire, passion, lust, and/or romance. the kind of live couples have for each other) he believed that relationships built off of philia and eventually leading to eros were the strongest. friends to lovers.

a/n: i took this request and did my own little spin on it. i hope you like it!! i didn’t really proofread so there’s probably some errors in there, i had to copy and paste this whole thing from screenshots in my camera roll 😭 anyways… enjoy!!

chris pov

i’ve been stressed out all week. between filming and my brand, it’s been getting harder and harder to find time for myself. i’m in dire need of some sort of distraction. i need to get my mind off of everything going on. and in all honesty, there was only one person that could make that possible. y/n.

i’ve been best friends with y/n for as long as i can remember. our moms are best friends, so we’ve known each other since diapers. we have been practically attached at the hip since we could walk. she has always been my person. wanted to get away from my brothers for a bit? i’m texting her to hang out. needed to vent? she’s all ears. advice on an outfit? i’m spending 10 minutes in the mirror trying to take the perfect picture to send to her. hockey or lacrosse game? she’s there cheering me on in the front row wearing my jersey number. she has always been there for me.

today my brothers, myself, and y/n had all planned on hanging out. its our second day back in boston after a month of being in la. we’ve had this planned since the day y/n dropped us off at the airport before we flew back to la. i’ve really been looking forward to it. i haven’t seen y/n in so long. the transition from seeing her everyday to going weeks on end without hearing her laugh, smelling the sweet smell of her perfume that i could never get enough of, and overall just the lack of her presence has been much harder than i’m willing to admit.

my alarm goes off at 8 am. i wanted to make sure i had plenty of time to get ready for today. i groggily reach over to my night stand, my face still buried in my pillows, feeling around for my phone to shut off the blaring sound of my alarm. i finally feel the cool glass of the screen. i pick it up and bring it closer to my face, squinting my eyes at the sudden gleam of brightness beaming from my phone. after i hit stop on my alarm, i notice a text from y\n.

i know its not her fault. she has no control over that. but couldn’t help but feel a wave of disappointment crash over my chest. this was the one thing i had been looking forward to doing for all of a month and now the one person who was going to make it worth while won’t even be there? great. just my luck. i stick my tongue in my cheek and begin typing a response. careful not to come across as upset. i didn’t want her to feel bad. my reliance on her isn’t her problem and i couldn’t make her feel like it was.

i roll out of bed and throw on a white t-shirt i had taken off the night before and thrown at the end of my bed. i walk downstairs into the kitchen, opening up the cabinet to grab a cup before slamming it shut.

“what is your deal?” nick asks, who was already sitting at the island in the middle of our kitchen, scrolling on his phone. his brows furrowed with a confused yet annoyed look plastered on his face.

“nothing” i mumble. avoiding eye contact and opening up the fridge. pouring myself a glass of water from the brita.

nick rolls his eyes at my blunt response. not even bothering to entertain the situation further.

“do you know when y/n is coming over or are we just gonna pick her up on our way to the movie?” he asks, changing the subject. unbeknownst to him that his question rubbed salt right in the wound.

“she’s not coming” i reply.

“oh. why not? is she okay?”

“she doesn’t feel good.” i bemoan. “she said she might come around tomorrow”

“aw” nick frowns sympathetically. “i hope she starts feeling better. that sucks.”

“yup” i concluded the conversation. not wanting to talk about it anymore. the more i thought about it the more upset i became.

soon matt comes down the stairs. nick informs him of the situation. he responds with the same soon matt comes down the stairs. nick informs him of the situation. he responds with the same nonchalant 'oh i hope she feels better response that nick had. the same one i'm sure anyone would have. anyone who didn't need her to function that is. i wish i didn't care so much. i didn't know why i did. it's like the betrayed feeling of when your friends texts you and tells you that they won't be at school. except it was ten times worse. growing up it had always been no y/n, no chris. we were like a package deal. invited to a party? only if y/n also got an invite. vacations? i was begging my parents to let her come with us. she is my rock.

when it comes time to leave for the movie, i practically have to drag myself out of the door. i open up the door to the van, get in, and slam it shut.

"dude what is your problem?" matt looks over at me from the drivers seat.

"he's been in a pissy mood all day long. its getting on my nerves nick interjects from the backseat.

“im just tired. we were on a plane all day yesterday and i couldn't sleep" i defend. lying through my teeth. i knew my brothers knew it too.

"you sure it has nothing to do with y/n not being able to make it today?" matt questions.

" don't care that she can't come." i lie. again.

"yeah right" nick scoffs. i look back at him and roll my eyes. he returns the action.

we arrive at the theater and buy our tickets. we get popcorn and soda and find our seats. matt and nick discuss what movies they wanted to see next as the previews play on the big screen in front of us. i say nothing. i just sit there and scroll on my phone. y/n hasn't texted me all day. i knew it was because she wasn't feeling well and she was probably just sleeping. but i couldn't help but feel a shot of jealousy coursing through my body.

"chris get off your phone the movie is starting." nick pushes my phone down.

i could hardly even pay attention to what was happening in the movie. my brain was taken over by the thought of y/n. why can't i stop thinking about her? sure she's my best friend and i thought about her enough as is, but something felt different today. i've never felt like this before. it felt like a brick was stacked on top of my heart. another being added each time i saw something that reminded me of her. anytime her name even crossed my mind, which, was going on about 5 times per second it felt like. it was suffocating. i don't know why i'm feeling like this. i didn't want to know, if i'm being honest. it scared me. more than i’m even willing to admit.

the movie ends and we all get up from our seats. the lights slowly become brighter. the crunch of popcorn under peoples feet as the stepped filled the air.

after we get home, i don't feel like talking. matt and nick were both sitting around at the island in our kitchen, discussing the movie. i head straight for the stairs.

"someone's upset they couldn't see their girlfriend today" nick jokes.

"she's not my fucking girlfriend. i don't care that i

couldn't see her today. i really don't. my life doesn’t revolve around y/n. you guys are being ridiculous." i argue. girlfriend. the word hit me straight in the gut.

"she may not be your girlfriend sure but you wish she was” matt interrupts. there it is again. that feeling. that feeling i wanted to stop being corrupted with. the feeling i couldn't pin down. the feeling of her.

"you're insane” i hiss. turning my back and going up the the stairs and into my bedroom.

i slam the door shut behind me and lay down on my bed. staring at the ceiling. i just wanted to sleep. i didn't want to think about it anymore. but i couldn't.

girlfriend. the thought of y/n being my girlfriend almost suppressed the gut wrenching feeling that was still brewing in my chest. it's like it was almost satisfied. like i almost had it all figured out.

the more i sat in silence, the more my mind overtook me. the more y/n had flooded everything i had inside of me.

just as my eyes grew heavy, and my thoughts began to slow. it hit me.

im in love with my best friend.

i sat straight up in my bed. i check my phone. 2 am.

unlike hours before, this was the first time i wasn't thinking. i race down the stairs and put my shoes on. y/n only lived just down the street. i could get there in less than three minutes. i open the door, the cold butter air instantly hitting me. i didn't care though. i step out and make a bee line to y/ n's house.

her room was on the second story. when we were 12, we hid a ladder underneath her deck. for years i would use it to sneak up to her room late at night just to hang out. i pull out the ladder from underneath her porch. careful not to make too much ruckus, in fear that i would wake up her parents. i set up the ladder right in line with her window in 10 seconds tops. i knew this like the back of my hand. i climbed up the ladder and tapped on her window.

readers pov

a gentle tapping on my window pulls my eyes away from my book. it didn't scare me. i knew it was chris. only chris knew how to get up here. only chris knew our secret knock pattern that we came up with all those years ago. but at 2am? in the freezing cold? what did he want? he hadn't even texted me letting me know he was coming. weird.

i threw my legs over the side of my bed and make my way to my window. i pull my curtains aside, unlock the window, and let him in.

"chris what are you doing here? it's 2 am and freezing outside." i question and he steps over the window sill and into my bedroom.

"y/n im in love with you" he breathes heavily. his blue eyes looking down at me with desperation. i felt my heart sink.

"w-what?" i ask. i couldn't believe what i was hearing.

“im in love with you. so undeniably, inevitability, embarrassingly in love with you. i think i always have. just haven't really known what it was j was feeling until now. i love the way you laugh. the way your smile lights up every room you walk into. how kind you are to everyone, even when they don't deserve it. i love the way-“ he rambles and i cut him off.

“chris-“ he doesn't stop talking.

“-i love the way you do your hair. i love the color of your eyes. i love how you dress. i love-" i cut him off again.

"chris!" i raise my voice louder this time. needing his attention.

he stops talking and looks at me. waiting for me to speak.

i take a deep breath.

"i have a boyfriend.”

to be continued...

a/n: I HOPE YOU GUYS LIKE THIS. WOOHOO. again, lemme know if you want to be on my taglist!!

taglist: @chrissturnioloswifesblog @rac00ns-are-c00l4 @pepsiimaxx

#chris sturniolo #chris sturniolo x reader #matt sturniolo #matt sturniolo x reader #nick sturniolo #sturniolo #sturniolo triplets #sturniolo triplets x reader #chrissturnioloxreader #christopher sturniolo #matthew sturniolo #nicolas sturniolo #space camp #cut the camera podcast #nathan doe #fresh love

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kiefbowl · 9 months

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Hi <3 Idk if you remember me but I'm the anon that send you an ask about feeling terribly ugly and suffering from body dysmorphia. You and another user wrote some lovely words and advice and again, thank you. I just wanted to update you: turns out the reason I felt so horrible was because during that week, I took out my IUD and went hormone free for the first time since 14. I must have been experiencing some weird hormonal hurricane. I have suffered from severe body dysmorphia in the past but that was between ages 16 and 20 - I've mostly been over it. But I was so shocked to experience that feeling of self hatred and digust with myself again after so many years. I felt so hopeless and doomed, as if the world was ending and I need to accept that I am somehow disfigured. It sounds almost ridiculous now that I'm typing it out.

I feel much better now once my hormones have regulated a bit. I can't even get back to the mindset I was in when I sent you that ask. I guess I'm sending you this update also as a word of caution? Don't get me wrong, I am still a big supporter of BC but damn I was not prepared for the deep black emotional hole I briefly fell into once I got my IUD removed... it really makes me wonder about the type of person I would have been during my teens if I wasn't put on hormonal BC just because of acne and painful periods...

Thank you for the update!! I’m so happy you’re feeling better!!

I know lots of women when going off, or switching, or trying hormonal bc, they experienced a very similar change in their mood that really effected them. It’s definitely something we should talk about because while hormonal bc is a great option, it’s not the only one (and there’s so many choices of hormonal bc to boot!) and I see a culture of pushing it on women early and for every reason under the sun. We need to take it very seriously and be open about the side effects. It’s disappointing to see doctors treat it like a magic pill instead of extremely strong hormonal prescription.

In a perfect would, the medical industry would also constantly be improving our options and improving hormonal bc. I don’t think it’s the priority. The care and understanding that different women with different lives need different things, doesn’t always seem to matter to everyone in health care.

But at least by being honest about our experiences, we can help fill in the gaps and better prepare other women to make the right choice or at least ask questions when with her doctor.

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donkey-rider · 2 years

Text

*appears*

Soft Silco thoughts

Not feeling my greatest rn so here is some soft Silco stuff bc for once I'm in a wholesome mood with him

Reader is transmasc/FTM. Sorry not sorry. Reader is referred to as boy, sweet boy, darling boy, my lovely, dear boy, lovely boy, brave boy.. you get the gist. Lots of "boy." And terms of attraction like pretty, handsome and beautiful.

-"What's wrong, my darling boy? Come. Tell me all about it."

- If you wear a binder, he finds out you've been overbinding and as much as he is disappointed, he isn't angry.

- "I know you need to wear it, my boy, but you need to let your body breathe. I won't allow any rib damage to come to you."

- he gently and tenderly takes it off, even turning away to give you privacy if you want

- if you take medication, he is here to talk you out of feeling bad if you ever do

- "now now, none of that. This medicine allows you to function. That doesn't make you any less of a person."

- "Am I weak because of my Shimmer injections? No, I thought not. You are not weak for needing your medication."

- "have you taken your medication today, dear boy?"

- at your reply, he either says: "Yes? Good. Good, perhaps you can help me with my own medicine? Hm?"

"No? And why not? Do I need to send Sevika to remind you? Yes, I know she's scary, maybe that will remind you better than your alarm. Or perhaps you want Jinx to.. glitterbomb.. you, as she calls it. Glitter is a nightmare to wash."

- If you take testosterone injections, he'll always hype you up.

- "That's it, my brave boy, it's over now. Remember, these injections don't make you a man. You are just as masculine and just a real a man as I am. Don't you forget that."

- Silently wipes your tears, but never makes it seem like he's annoyed or frustrated with your crying. He'll let you cry yourself out first before offering any words of comfort.

- "Shhh.. my lovely.. my lovely boy.. it's alright.. I'm here. I will always be here with you.".

- sometimes you just need a hug, and he's happy to oblige to that too, despite not being the fondest of them.

- "A hug? Well.. I suppose I can.. spare one.. for my best boy. Yes.. yes come here. Let me hold you."

- and you ever think yourself to be ugly or unattractive, it won't fly. It just won't.

- "What's that? What kind of nonsense are you telling me? You are the most pretty, the most handsome, the most beautiful boy my eye has seen."

Random dialogue because I want comfort :/

- Come here, my lovely. I want to appreciate you, since you can't do that."

- "Just rest, sweet boy. You are safe here. No one is going to hurt you while I'm here."

- "I don't want anyone else, my lovely, I want you. No one else could ever compare to you."

#arcane #arcane silco #silco arcane #silco simp #silco #silco x reader #silco x transmasc reader #silco x transmale reader #transmasc #transgender #trans author #trans joy #comfort #silco headcanon #can you tell i have a complicated relationship with my dad #nonbinary

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bandofchimeras · 6 months

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one nice bpd thing is when you've been thru the idealization and devaluation swing with a new FP and held awareness w yourself and....cooled off? without doing anything nutso like declaring undying Love or trying to banish them from your life.

then you get to hang out with them. and see how they actually are as a person outside your Brain Games. and they're just, cute or nice, or kinda dorky and flawed in some charming way. and it's like OOOOOHHH the idea I had of you in my head is no match, good or bad, for the reality of your humanness in the room with me.

(long post under the read more)

in earlier stages of recovery this settling into equilibrium always gave me the ick. bc my shame was so intense for my own humanness. being human is so stinky and sticky and crusty and mundane and broken sometimes. no wonder our minds make people into gods or demons when sitting with our very vulnerable human selves is so difficult. especially if you have never fully experienced unconditionally accepting love. ideas taste better than reality.

I begin to think that my BPD is rooted in a real fear and real experiences of being abandoned for being imperfect, or not fitting someone's preconceived expectations, or disappointing them in some way. it was hard to accept this bc I have done it to people too. and it is so painful.

but now the next step is finding a new framework for how to say "no" and have boundaries and prioritize people. BESIDES "oh you aren't what I thought you were."

which is a challenge specifically along the ADHD axis of low impulse control, memory issues and generally not understanding how much work is involved in tasks or relationships.... leading to either avoidance of them, or taking on too many.

this is a genuine disability that leads to poor energy management that impacts people I my life. and if people can love me, and they do, then what's between love and us is real barriers of communication and follow through, that can hopefully be addressed.

I really can't keep going through the swing of impulsive relationships that end with abandonment or never end in a tortured half alive state of limbo. it feels impossible to fully let go of anybody or be fully with anybody and that's where the pain comes from.

I think the image instability is related to ADHD object impermanence. I have to practice manually making my brain remember people exist when we aren't in same room, or I am not hyperfixated on them. if someone isn't in the Focus Zone I can still love them but they don't get attention. which....hmm maybe I conflate with love. because of that being such a big need for me.

i wonder if anyone without this disorder overthinks their relationships to this extent, and if they don't how they manage their energy to avoid so many painful patterns???

i do wish relationships took up less space in my life too and I had more ability to lean into hobby time. The unresolved emotions & cycles around interpersonal relationships feel like big heavy magnets that take my energy away from efforts in areas that would be more meaningful. They keep me looping around in specific thought patterns and stories unable to stay in physical reality long enough to complete anything.

I wonder what genuinely falling in love would be like with a person. instead of intense attachment feelings, developing a fondness and sense of compatibility with someone over time as you also become able to trust them. They would have to really love me and have a lot of patience to stick out these mood swings and thought distortions.

But hey that has to be possible because I am a person, and I am developing the patience to love myself!

What still hurts is the question: is there someone out there who will see me and go, he's worth it!. He's worth the trouble! Someone who I also felt love for, that would chose me not based on an idea of who I am but my actual reality. So I don't have to play a role or an image for them.

it's a painful question. but I have to believe maybe it's possible, and even if not, along the way there is plenty of love from animals and trees and community, and friends that will recognize my inherent worth as I learn to.

the borderline asks to be chosen, to be special. Without qualification. But the beauty of love is that everyone always has a choice to love. It's never permanent or guaranteed.

now, how to make peace with that!!!?

this has been a post on the intersection of ADHD, OCD and BPD from my experience.

#recovery #bpd #ocd #musings #adhd #whew #long post

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joyboythehopepunk · 10 months

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the color of growth

the color of growth by donovan melero

it's one of those emotive songs that helps me feel things i normally put to the side. not sure if anyone else does this. where you just get into one of those moods.. where you have to think about/feel the things that are bothering you?

it used to be more self destructive for me than listening to a sad song or two. i used to be an alcoholic. i used to be depressed and a little bipolar.

but i'm autistic with cptsd. being in fucked up situations really does a number on me in a way it doesn't seem to mess with other people. that is why i have only been in handful of relationships.

things affect me much more intensely.

at first i thought i was just a highly sensitive person. well. at first i just thought i was a moody weirdo who happened to be intelligent.

anyway.. this part of my self discovery journey only began in earnest with a failed relationship. i had to know what was wrong with me.

but... just as i'd feared: nothing is more wrong with me than anyone else. i only confirmed i am fucked up. like everyone else. just in a different way. definitely less fucked up than the general public.

that was this issue, ultimately. if you're closer to health and your society is mostly sick.. you look more damaged. you look like the crazy one. but you're actually sane. more sane than any peers you've had. i'm also a statistical anomaly in a way, too. being mixed, trans, and disabled is common on this hellsite.

but lgbtq people, brown people, and neurodivergent people are technically still minorities.

anyway.. my journey has been a long one. and it isn't over yet.

the color of growth is a sad song about the loss of love and regret. which is mainly what I feel when i think of her. the one that really hurt me. for some reason.. it seems to hurt more than anything i can remember in a long time. and yeah, i know autistic people experience trauma more extremely.. but oof.

ramble. it wasn't just my fault. i know that. i just wish i could find someone who is as patient and considerate as i am. i make an excellent lover. it is too bad people keep proving me right about their characters. but we all have fucked up things going on. idk.

i'm tired of being alone. i have been alone my whole life - unlike others. no real emotional/mental support my whole life. was barely taken care of as a child. as an adult i've had no real friends/family.

people make me uncomfortable. and with how i've seen them treat one another (except in rare instances) it is understandable. why anyone would be wary. and maybe that is why people don't really seem to value relationships as much as they say.

but i am a voidpunk/spiritual being. i've never looked at humans the same way as other people. i value life, i really do. i probably value the connections more than normal. i see peoples' humanity more than normal.

but lately.. lately i have grown more detached. bc i just don't have the energy to give people. bc i'm tired of being hurt and disappointed.

people who don't see me as a person. people who can't respect or give space or support me. especially when i've always been a very giving person... why should i give them consideration? other than it's the right thing to do? (which has gotten me taken advantage of and misunderstood too)

always in lop-sided relationships. (bc people expect something specific out of me/expect more from me)

never understood or loved properly. (bc people don't know how to be there for me/love me. they only have so much space in their hearts ig)

there's no point to this post except for me to air my feelings out. it feels like i have a giant wound inside me. and tho i suspect others feel the same.. there is a difference in the clarity and magnitude of awareness.. how much we know of ourselves and others deepens such pain.

ah. it hurts. to think of loving and being loved in return.

(a/n: check out Aurora's Nature Boy song)

can't wait to find my companion, lover, and friend. hopefully i won't wait much longer.

#voidpunk #personal #love #romance #loss #regret #pain #heartache #relationship #heartbroken #moving on #healing #romantic #hopeless romantic #solitude #loneliness #partner #lover #friend #companion

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atlasllm · 11 months

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WAIT DID U MEAN HOLLYWOOD UNDEAD???? HAVE U HEARD WAR CHILD? PARADISE LOST?

PARTY BY MYSELF???!!!!!!!

YEAH HOLLYWOOD UNDEAD KJBGDKD

I didn't answer this ASAP since I wanted to give my full Lore about Hollywood Undead + please remember I'm terrible with music genres so like

One of the things I really enjoy about music is buildup; hence why one of my favorite MCR songs is Demolition Lovers. It's 6 minutes of switching from part to part very beautifully, as well as constructing the narrative of the aforementioned Lovers. You get the soft intro, leading up into those initial "I'm trying, I'm trying", which stops but fades again to the "All we are are bullets", which ends in that AWESOME guitar solo(?) that keeps building and building to the "Phantoms forever" part.

Lots of other songs I enjoy have this sort of buildup; Undefeatable from Sonic Frontiers (which like, kinda makes sense as it's both a really good song and also meant to build up to each section of the boss battle it's from), King For A Day by Pierce the Veil, Last One Standing by Simple Plan, City Traffic Puzzle or Sweet Tangerine by The Hush Sound...

Heck, even when listening to Evanescence in 3rd grade I probably enjoyed Bring Me To Life for that reason as well

This Love This Hate has the benefit of also being a Blorbo(tm) song which is another story entirely that I don't feel like telling; but overall I enjoyed the buildup of that song and since I heard it first in a Blorbo AMV + I always associated its lyrics with said blorbo, but that was my first Hollywood Undead song. I'm not sure what genre it feels like since it doesn't sound like the harsher rocks of Three Days Grace or the pop punks of the Emo Trinity, but whatever it is, it's just overall very good at portraying a highly specific mood; similar to Viva La Vida by Coldplay to me, where it's such a melancholic mood for a feeling you simply can't place, but it still makes you Feel anyway.

Sell Your Soul I actually found through a random speedpaint video; I think I was actually looking for speedpaint vids set to This Love This Hate since sometimes I wanna see visuals while listening to my music when lyric vids don't suffice. It def feels more on the rock spectrum than This Love This Hate, which I absolutely enjoyed; but ough the BUILDUP being so much harshly rock-ish helps a lot. The lyrics always gave me the impression of someone being led to their own public execution; screaming from within that they fear their own incoming death, the fear and shame from realizing how many people come to celebrate YOUR OWN DEMISE, to some part of you saying FUCK IT, THROW IT ALL AWAY! FORGET ME! I CAN'T DO THIS ANYMORE! since either way, you're dying. Considering I enjoyed Three Days Grace in 3rd grade, I think there's something self indulgent in the lyrics + harsh music of Sell Your Soul.

This Love This Hate was just very personally endearing to me, like a blorbo-themed Viva La Vida. Sell Your Soul was outright BOPPIN' to me since its harsh lyrics and rock-y tone was just very appealing to me.

However, I remember going on a Hollywood Undead binge after accidentally finding Sell Your Soul... only to be a little disappointed that the things I was finding just wasn't capturing that same energy of either song

I definitely do have more Hollywood Undead songs in my playlists than just Sell Your Soul and This Love This Hate, but they're not particularly songs I've gone as crazy for as those two.

I'm not sure if I have time to re-listen to all of these to fully digest, but in re-listening to Levitate I quite like the sound but not particularly crazy for the lyrics. Young is odd because I quite enjoy the instrumentals I'm hearing, but something about the vocals isn't really hitting me as crazily either.

Also just in case bc I forgot it's one of their top songs: Bullet is pretty nice, I quite enjoy the contrast between sad lyrics and boppin' instrumentals! I have no problems with it other than it sounds quite different than the rest of my music playlist so that's why I haven't added it. Not to mention I did used to listen to it during my very bad sad boi hour moments so I definitely need to be in a specific mood to listen to it.

Paradise Lost is the only title I recognize from your ask, but listening to it again it DOES have a bit of dramatic buildup, but it's not hitting me quite much. It has a soft instrumental at the beginning but very harsh vocals, which is a bit of whiplash I personally am not a fan of for this song. I quite like how the chorus sounds at least! But it's such a highly specific vibe that I personally DON'T vibe with; I'll probably add it to my Liked Songs, but not my actual playlists. Not to mention I tend to add music on if I can see myself drawing to them, which I'm not really getting that vibe with Paradise Lost

BUT (and I'm doing this live as I write this post), I will listen to your other songs rq!

War Child, live thoughts:

what the fuck a horn

first lyrics this is more of a #slay song than the dramatics of sell your soul/this love this hate

this fr sounds like the kind of song you'd put over your best gameplay footage

i think that's what i'm thinking tbh, i tend to like more dramatic lyrics, but at the very least i'm enjoying the instrumentals! the vocals are pretty nice too even though they're talking about ass and alcohol; just kind of a disappointment for someone who's more for the dramatic songs

Good song! I could imagine myself drawing to this, but I am more for more dramatic lyrics than "mm girl sexy". I feel like I'd add this to my more boppin' playlists rather than my full on mish-mash of dramatic songs.

Party By Myself, live thoughts:

kiinda don't like this intro for some reason @_@

party music??

this feels more of a #slay song as well

this rap is bumpin' though

yea this absolutely feels like party music; GOOD party music though, like the kind you'd find on a 2012 dj playlist

once again, v bumpin! just perhaps not the kind of dramatic i tend to enjoy

Once again, good song! Oddly enough has the vibe of 2012 party playlists? I'm not sure if it's "imagine myself drawing" levels, but definitely I can see myself listening to this if I wanna feel those #party vibes. And there are a LOT of good party vibes songs out there.

The verdict: Bumpin' songs with no drama go in the Edgar Allan Poe meme playlist

I thiiink I prefer Party By Myself more than War Child? Those 2012 party music vibes just hit much better than the general #slay energy of the latter.

Once again, there's some level of disappointment I feel however; I do in fact tend to love the more dramatic vibes of Sell Your Soul and This Love This Hate in my general music. It's why I enjoy My Chem so much! Heck, my newest songs in my main playlist are about the #drama;

1.) A guitar instrumental cover of a song trying to capture the vibes of "The End"; a credits song, a death, your OWN even so!

2.) Love From The Other Side was introduced to me by a friend who also enjoys Fall Out Boy and introduced it to me as "dude the new FOB song sounds so anime". It's very dramatic in its buildup! ...But also Fall Out Boy lyrics have always been slightly incoherent to me so JKSBGKFS I don't tend to care as much when it comes to their lyrics

3.) Okay this one I added because it reminded me of an OC dynamic when I found it but like,,, cmon it sounds like breakup angst

4.) Heard this randomly as well, but always associated with a sort of seething hatred for someone who's wronged you; it feels like a musical embodiment of glaring intensely at someone

5.) Once again was imagining this one with an OC dynamic and like,,, yeah. #Drama

I think the TLDR is this:

I love drama and buildup within my music, and This Love This Hate and Sell Your Soul were perfect brainrotting songs back when I first listened to them! I would attempt to get into Hollywood Undead more, but each song I listened to just didn't really hit me as much as I wanted; maybe the vocals for one song weren't my cup of tea, maybe it was too much boobs sex and alcohol in the lyrics, maybe the instrumentals just weren't hitting me. Paradise Lost is definitely better than I remember, though once again still not HITTING me as well as those first two songs, and it's still not one I'd consider for my main playlist.

I'm glad to be able to share music with others, and I do quite enjoy the songs you've listed! I do quite enjoy Party By Myself more than War Child since it captures those 2012 party music vibes. However, there's once again the disappointment in simply preferring more dramatic songs than the #slay and party music vibes of these two. There's nothing inherently wrong with it, it's pretty much a matter of personal preference and a bit of surprise I managed to fall in love with Sell Your Soul and This Love This Hate out of all the songs from Hollywood Undead that DON'T fit their vibes! It's just a shame since in listening to those two I was hoping to find another Three Days Grace or Green Day kind of band within Hollywood Undead, but it's just simply not the vibe they tend to pursue within their music and I respect that.

Overall I enjoyed being able to ramble about this, and I'm at least happy to be introduced to new Hollywood Undead songs even if the vibes of them are the opposite of what I tend to enjoy within my general music taste :] Thank you so much for introducing me to them!

#atlas speaks;#atlas answers;#straycalamities

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racingliners · 10 months

Text

F1 Re-Watch 2013: Round 8 - Great Britain

I race I did watch live at the time... but had to watch a recording of it bc I fell asleep as I'd gotten back from a school trip the day before.

Anyway, my main memory of this race is all the very bad and very dramatic tyre failures which... big yikes. Seb also retired with some kind of mechanical failure which meant that Rosberg won. But apart from that I don't remember much else, so let's get into it and hope it's not completely awful 😵‍💫

Ah Silverstone, my forever beloved 💚

Okay starting grid: Merc 1-2 with Lewis on pole (spoiler alert: he's one of the drivers who has a tyre blowout :(), Seb P3, Dan P5 holy shit, Jenson P10 and Jev P12.

Helmet watch: I can't quite tell but it looks like Seb has pictures of all the RBR team on his helmet which is adorable

[Formation Lap]: Mediums and Hards are the tyres for this race.

cut to the stampede of mechanics and engineers trying to get back to the garages.

[Start/Lap 1]: Lewis shooting off at the start and Seb taking P2, I LOVE THIS SONG

Grosjean going round the outside of the of the McLaren's at Luffield holy shit dude

Jenson up to P9 🥰

or not Fernando just got past him :(

[Lap 2]: Lewis with an 8 tenths lead already, that's why they named the start-finish straight after him

[Lap 3]: aaaaand Lewis fastest lap.

Meanwhile Sutil is in P4. Team Silverstone once again be Team Silverstone-ing, at Silverstone

[Lap 5]: Lewis up to 2 seconds ahead of Seb, he's goating folks

The way that I know the tyre failures are coming but I have no idea on which laps they happen, it's like a really aggressive jack in the box.

(iirc Lewis, Jev and Checo were the affected drivers)

[Lap 6]: So yeah I'm just going to enjoy the Sewis 1-2 while it lasts 😭

[Lap 7]: Not Jenson complaining of his tyres overheating already, he's on the hards 😭😭😭

And Perez just got past him

and cut to Webber's busted front wing, man announced his retirement that weekend and someone decided to beat him up at the start as a send off

[Lap 8]: Seb fastest lap 🥰

ah shit there's Lewis' delaminated left rear tyre 😭😭😭

Cut to a v disappointed looking Ross Brawn

I know it's been ten years, but you can meet my fists Pirelli

The fact it happened down the Wellington straight too like.... big fucking yikes man

[Lap 9]: Anyway he's made it into the pits and is back out on track, although in plum last :(

[Lap 10]: So Seb's now P1 with Rosberg P2 and Sutil P3.

Oh jeez it was Massa that was the second left rear failure

[Lap 11]: cut to someone from Pirelli watching Massa's stop in the pit lane dbuhsfubh

[Lap 12]: Unsurprisingly, a load of cars have made their first stops

And a Grosjean fastest lap, because why not

"There's two men trying to stop Sebastian Vettel running away with the championship, and they're not doing a very good job of it" okay Brundle I will give you that one right.

[Lap 13]: Rosberg makes his first stop for hards.

[Lap 14]: and Seb makes his first stop, also for hards

The fact that Sutil is in P3, Team Silverstone baby!!!

[Lap 15]: Jev with tyre failure number 3 😭

The thing literally just exploded as we went through Stowe like... Pirelli I am in your walls

This race is legit the reason why I get anxiety every time I see one tyre failure bc my mind instantly goes back to the mess that was this race

[Lap 16]: And Safety Car. Likely for all the debris.

And honestly this race still pisses me off bc all the drivers were told to stay off the kerbs, but maybe Pirelli should have made better tyres in the first place

[Lap 17]: Adrian Newey with his head in his hands, a colossal mood

Anyway, soapbox away for now. Lewis is up into P14.

[Lap 18]: oooh internal SC cam. Bernd Maylander my forever Driver of the Day.

Cut to another Pirelli man in the Merc garage 👁️👄👁️

the TV director had a lot of fun with that, I can imagine

[Lap 19]: And also big shoutout to the marshals at the time for picking up all the little bits of debris in such record time.

"It's been a bit busy the past few laps" NO SHIT ROCKY

[Lap 20]: and a lap later he's calling out Seb for his fuel usage 😭

I can very easily see why I only remember the tyre failures from this race bc the replays of all the incidents are not fun

oh damn they even sent the track sweepers onto the circuit to clean up the mess

[Lap 21]: SC in this lap

stresssssss

(not bc I fear Seb losing the lead, bc I fear more carnage)

and off Seb goes!

casually just leaving Rosberg for dust

[Lap 22]: oh damn Perez got Webber on the outside of Abbey

...and Webber gets the place back

cut to Lewis driving on the kerbs at Maggots and Becketts, is2g

worth noting that not single driver has listened to their engineers when it comes to avoiding the kerbs. They are all menaces to society.

[Lap 24]: But he did get past Gutierrez going into Copse so... that was sexy I'll allow it

[Lap 27]: Somehow, Sutil is still in P3

the absolute scenes of it all

Seb's gap over Rosberg up to 3.3 seconds, that's my boy!!!

[Lap 28]: Dan passes Grosjean for P6!!

Another piece of debris on the track oh my fucking god

this race is almost causing me physical pain, maybe I had a point when I passed out watching this at the time

Okay apparently Gutierrez just trashed one of the break marker boards everyone's tyres are thankfully fine

[Lap 30]: Alonso makes his second (?) stop

[Lap 31]: oh shit Rosberg is 1.5 seconds faster than Seb???

don't tell me the DNF is coming sooner rather than later

I mean, I know it's coming, but still. This race has been too much.

[Lap 32]: Lewis up to P9... because of cars ahead making stops :(

It's okay bud you win the race a year later and do very iconic things you're all good

[Lap 35]: Rosberg pits again, I have lost track of the number of stops everyone's done ngl

At this point I just want everyone (excluding Seb's incoming DNF) to make it to the end of the race with all four tyres on their cars 😭

[Lap 36]: And Seb pits

while Webber got past Alonso for P4

[Lap 37]: Jenson up into P11

And Lewis into the pits again, he comes out in P11 so he could still get some points

okay this battle with Di Resta is actually really good, annoying that Lewis is down in P12 though

[Lap 38]: aaaaand he takes back P11 going through turn 4 *chef's kiss*

[Lap 39]: pls don't cut to a dejected Jev I am very emotionally fragile bc of this dumb race

[Lap 41]: *Lewis back into the points klaxon*

and there's Seb going slowly 😭

[Lap 42]: sounds like a gearbox failure

and Safety Car bc his car stopped on the main straight

p a i n

I have been personally victimised by the British Grand Prix of 2013

on the plus side at least Seb didn't have a long run to get back to the RBR garage 🥲

[Lap 43]: And Rosberg and Webber make their third (?) stops

[Lap 44]: Cut to Vivian, with some very on brand Petronas teal nail polish.

Okay so mainly recapping the running order for myself bc there has been too much going on: Rosberg leads from Raikkonen, Sutil, Dan, Webber, Perez, Jenson, Alonso, Lewis and Grosjean make up the top 10.

This has been a Motor Race™️

[Lap 45]: And off Nico goes!

[Lap 46]: Webber and Lewis both up a place at the restart

as is Fernando

jesus fucking christ there goes Perez's tyre

Pirelli you owe me emotional damages

[Lap 47]: Meanwhile Webber just shot up into P3

and Lewis is into P7!

[Lap 48]: or make that P6

worth noting that Lotus didn't pit Raikkonen under the SC, as Webber takes P2 going through Copse.

[Lap 49]: Lewis into P5!!!!!

this race has legit been batshit insane

[Lap 50]: Rosberg fastest lap, he has a 1.4 second lead over Webber

I should add we have three laps left

And Alonso takes P3

[Lap 51]: aaand Webber fastest lap

love me some fastest lap ping pong

Lewis P4!!!!!!!!!!

He had pole, dropped to last after his tyre failure, and goated his way back to P4. That's they they named the start-finish straight after him folks

[Lap 52]: Last lap. I am exhausted.

Rosberg has a 9 tenths lead so he's good

[Finish]: And Monaco Man wins the British GP!!!

Webber P2, Alonso P3, Lewis P4, Raikkonen P5, Massa P6, Sutil P7, Dan P8, Di Resta P9 and Hulkenberg P10.

My god, those last 10-ish laps combined with everything that happened beforehand... I need a lie down. Pirelli will be meeting my fists and paying my emotional damages even though it's been 10 years since the race.

Next race - Germany!

#bc what is summer break for than watching old races?#even if this one was quite cursed #f1 re watch #F1 2013 re watch

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misty-wisp · 2 years

Note

top 5 smt/persona characters? :3

YOU CAN'T DO THIS TO ME THEY'RE ALL WONDERFUL-

okay uh. uh uhhhh. there's gonna be a lot of favoritism in this, like a lot a lot...

funnily enough, i did make a personal tier list for persona characters, but i can't find it anywhere...i'll remake it if anyone asks.

anyways, onto that top 5-

5. Yukari Takeba/Yosuke Hanamura

I can't choose between them for this spot, I love them both too much 😭

What can I say, Yukari's my girl. I feel like she's one of the most realistically written girl's in the Persona series, especially in the Answer, even though that's where most people have problems with her.

I really don't get those people, like...c'mon. She's a human being, not a "waifu" who can't experience the emotions that come with grief. lmao.

And Yosuke...Yosuke resonates with me. I, too, am a lonely bored bitch living in a small town...Or, I used to. I'm no country kid these days. lmao.

Seriously, Yosuke is a WHOLE mood aside from the anime trope-type stupidity forcibly written onto him in certain scenes. Moving out of the city and slowly losing contact with your old friends except maybe one? Wow...he's LITERALLY me!

4. Ann Takamaki

Ann's also my girl. I love her to pieces and I will never forgive ATLUS for their butchering of her entire character past her introductory arc.

I've already made a post about this a long time ago, but her social link rank where she talks about the loneliness she felt from moving around so much really resonated with me, and the fact that she managed to befriend not only Shiho, but the other thieves is kind of inspirational to me. I hope to find my own thieves someday, as cheesy as that sounds :)

3. Isamu Nitta

I bet'cha weren't expecting an SMT fella to be on this list, huh? Jokes on you, I actually really like the self isolation enjoyer!

...But I also hate him. And the entire idea of Musubi. I have a very complicated love/hate relationship with this boy. On one hand, I love him, he deserves happiness, but on the other, he's a stupid idiot. I distinctly remember just yelling at my TV "nO-" when he was going off about his bullshittery, because I've been in that kinda spot. I've been isolated from people for years. It's a hell I want to get out of.

But I still love him, he deserves so much better than what life and the Conception dealt him :(

2. Ryoji Mochizuki

Surprise, not surprise! The moon boi himself at number two, who would've guessed?

Honestly, Ryoji's such a tragic character. His characterization in P3 is pretty bad, with a severe lack of screentime in the game. Luckily for me, though, that's improved in not only the movies, but P3P!

I watched through the P3 movies while in the middle of playing the game so I could hurry up and get info on his character, because I wound up spoiling myself somehow(deadass i don't remember how. i just did. i think it was bc i browse the megaten wiki a lot), and lo and behold, I wound up really loving him! He's just...such a sweetheart...gently holds

...And then I played through the rest of P3 and got severely disappointed by how much screentime he got in comparison to the movies.

like. my god. this man got less screentime than Haru did in vanilla P5.

So then I looked through his P3P social link because I learned he was romanceable! And then I nearly cried at how tragic it is. I just...the fucking RING, man...brb crying

so there's no wonder that i ship ryoham and ryomina lmao

1...even though it's unsurprising as hell...Goro Akechi

If you weren't expecting him, then you deserve a gold medal because you actually failed at predicting the most predictable lady on this Earth. Applause.

Akechi's like...like an onion. He's got layers. A lot. Too many. I still can't understand this bastard's character and have to look through analysis after analysis to gain a better understanding because I'm big dum :(

Funnily enough, though, before Royal was released, I was part of the Akechi hate bandwagon, because how DARE this guy mess up what the gang is doing >:((((((!!!!! He's BAD, I DON'T like him >:(

...I didn't play P5. I was only going off of shitposts and discussions whilst severely spoiling myself. Oh, and the limited amount of game footage I got from watching my (at the time, not) boyfriend streaming himself playing through vanilla P5.

And then Royal released! ...And I didn't play it because I did not own a PS4 at the time, like a fool.

Fast forward a few years. I got majorly spoiled (again, forgot how) and I barely have an opinion on Akechi. I have just finished playing through P4G, and just began playing through P3.

And then in comes Christmas, and I get a PS4 along with P5R!

...And then I took a solid year playing the game on and off to finish it, and finish it I did...but only the vanilla story. By then, I really liked Akechi. He was on a similar tier to Isamu. He's a tragic boi for sure...and he needed some more screentime, goddammit!

And screentime he got, with the addition of third semester, which made him even more tragic! Boy oh boy, my favorite flavor of character!

His navigator lines are the funniest shit I've ever seen. I was genuinely pretty salty that he gets replaced with Futaba pretty quickly purely because she's not as entertaining.

Yeah, I cried at 2/2. Ever since I beat the game, my discord status has just been "2/2 broke me" and I think that says enough about how much I love Akechi. lmao.

#thank you for the ask!#i had fun writing this #ask

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shespeaksinsongs · 2 years

Note

🌷 - give me any scenario with any hp character, nsfw or not, and i'll write the other character's pov for you!

Draco getting distant with you because his Dad was threatening him that he was gonna transfer him to Durmstrang bc you're a 'distraction' and he just get real abusive w him and Draco can't help but push you away

And you're j like "let me love you, I don't care, please just- Draco show me your worst side and let me love you anyway"

[feel free to do this one a lil longer if you'd like to]

ooh i like how this one turned out. you know i hate angst, so i tried really hard on this one

TW: SELF-HARM MENTIONED ONCE.

Draco,

I write this letter to you in an unhappy mood. Recent talk of you and Y/N has been circulating around the wizarding world. If I hear of you associating with the Y/L/N girl again, I won't hesitate to transfer you to Durmstrang. Think well about your choices, son. You don't want to know what happens when you disappoint me.

Sincerely,

Lucius Malfoy

His father's letter replayed in his head - over and over. It was his duty. It was what he had to do, or Merlin knows what would happen to him. But still, Draco feared letting her go might be the worst mistake of his life, should he bring himself to really do it.

He'd neglected her for six days now. He'd been counting. He ignored her curious comments to him while they were in class. He'd retracted his hands whenever Y/N would try to hold them. He'd abstained from the morning kisses. he'd plant on her lips before heading off to their next classes.

And still, with all this torture to the both of them, he couldn't stay away from her.

She laid in the bathtub, fully clothed, completely dry, as she stared at the ceiling blankly. It was unconventional, but it was the only place she could get privacy from her roommates.

"What have I done?" She asked herself, repeating it to the point of tears streaming out her eyes. Each breath she took felt like a stab to the heart. She pulled her hair at the scalp, fighting the urge to slap herself in the face until she was bruised. "Merlin, please tell me what I did wrong." She pleaded aloud, hoping that by some grace, a god would hear her prayers and grant her wish.

Draco wasn't just the love of Y/N's life. He was the love for her life. Nobody was more perfect for her than him. He understood her when she was sad, knew when to give her space, and when to give her affection. But most importantly, he knew her inside-out, and at times, that was more than Y/N knew about herself.

She cried and cried, so much that if she'd been crying under a seed, a tree would've grown in its place.

Draco came in, in the midst of all this. Although he was hurt and concerned, he took a deep breath, remembering what he had to do to protect her.

"What's wrong, Y/N?" He asked, despite his promise to himself to keep away from her soft aura. "Did I do something?"

Y/N kept sobbing into her hands, shaking her head profusely. "No." Her voice cracked. "It's something I did."

"Well, don't worry, we can fix it together, but first, what's going on?" Draco said, kicking his shoes off to get in the dry bathtub with her.

Y/N cried further, feeling how difficult it was for Draco to comfort her. "What did I do to you?" She asked, looking the Slytherin in his sad, blue eyes. "What did I do? Did-did I flirt with somebody unknowingly? Are you punishing me for something? Why are you-" She stopped to look down at her laps again, unable to keep eye contact. with the boy she loved more than anyone else. "Why are you pushing me away?"

Draco sighed deeply, opening his arms. "Come here." He said quietly, prompting Y/N to cling around his neck as if he'd disappear if she'd responded a second too late. He rocked her side to side, caressing her hair as she got his t-shirt wet and stained his skin with tear marks.

Y/N was still distraught, but relieved to finally be in his arms once again. She took a deep breath through the mouth, unable to breathe through her stuffed nose, and looked up. "What did I do, Dray?"

"You haven't done anything wrong, angel." He said, his waterline forming tears.

Y/N sniffled, tearing up again. "If that were true, you wouldn't be crying." She said, wiping tears off his face with the warm and delicate touch she'd reserved only for him.

"It's really complicated, my love. I don't know if I should tell you." He said, shutting his eyes when Y/N nuzzled her face into his neck.

"Please just tell me, Draco. I'm begging you." She whimpered, her voice muffled and congested.

"My father sent me a letter a week ago. He said that if I kept dating you he'd send me away to Durmstrang. I have to do this. For us."

Y/N looked down at their laps, one sitting on top of the other. She sniffled, biting the inside of her cheek as if it'd help keep the tears at bay. "Two more years with you at the same school," She cried, shaking her head. "would mean nothing to me if I never got to hold you again. Fuck, Draco, don't you see I need to love you?"

Draco grimaced, realizing she was right, but unsure of what to say next. "So, you're okay if I have to leave home?" He asked, referring to Hogwarts.

Y/N nodded, wiping some more tears off her face. "What's a few years on the rest of our lives?" She asked, hoping he'd feel the same.

Draco pulled her chin up, watching her face go redder when he semi-forced her to look him in the eyes. He brought her closer so their lips ghosted each other as he spoke. "Remind me to never lose you again." He said, his lips smashing on hers in the most deeply sorrowful, yet passionate kiss they'd had yet. They kissed until they were sure their energy had been imprinted into empty space.

"You never lost me." Y/N laughed, sniffing her nose up. "It's you and me forever." She said, kissing him again.

#draco malfoy #draco malfoy angst #draco angst #draco fanfiction #draco x reader #draco x y/n #draco x you #draco malfoy blurb #draco blurb #hlbutterflycelebration

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kyn19 · 4 years

Note

1 THROUGH 98! I WANT TO KNOW THE ANSWERS AND I CAN'T STAND GETTING THEM PIDDLING BIT BY PIDDLY BIT!!!!!

Lmaooooo what a fuckin Mood. Thank you!!!!! Also, you’re getting Drunk Kylie answers which are arguably the Best answers. For the courtesy of everyone’s dash, answers are below the cut!! <3 <3 <3

1. coffee mugs, teacups, wine glasses, water bottles, or soda cans?

Coffee mugs! I have a sizable collection lmao #WriterLife

2. chocolate bars or lollipops?

omg such a tough one, both are aces. seriously I can think of so many combatting pros & cons!! the only fair way i can currently conceive is which i would want weed in. Which is lollipops bc (#UnpopularOpinion) pot makes chocolate taste bad.

3. bubblegum or cotton candy?

both are great, but def bubblegum.

4. how did your elementary school teachers describe you?

“Pleasure to have in class” in true Gifted Child fashion

5. do you prefer to drink soda from soda cans, soda bottles, plastic cups or glass cups?

i’ll rate them in order: 1) can (absolutely preferred), 2) bottle if alone but plastic (lez be honest, Red Solo Cup) if with company, 3) glass (do not like)

6. pastel, boho, tomboy, preppy, goth, grunge, formal or sportswear?

#1 goth all the way. Pastel and Formal guest appearances

7. earbuds or headphones?

headphone, bc earbuds usually hurt my ears.

8. movies or tv shows?

first of all, how dare you. second of all, tv shows ONLY BECAUSE if all my fave movies were given tv shows so that they could last longer i would choose so

9. favorite smell in the summer?

idk i guess pool chlorine? dislike summer

10. game you were best at in p.e.?

bruh fuckin none. elementary school: too long ago to recall. middle school: escaped having to take gym at all. high school: had a medical excuse to take online PE. least athletic girl u know

11. what you have for breakfast on an average day?

i don’t have bfast bc eating close to when i awaken makes my tummy upset

12. name of your favorite playlist?

hmm 4-way tie between “#motivate #bitch” (gets me pumped to work) and “Friends Of The Illness” (my playlist of songs about and/or artist who are mentally ill) and “Ominous/haunting” (speaks to my creepy side) and “Bad Bitches” (self-explanatory amirite)

13. lanyard or key ring?

Key ring. Straight up I use an extra shoelace as my key ring string, despite owning multiple lanyards.

14. favorite non-chocolate candy?

god another fkn hard one. Listen y’all, you dont understand how much of a sugar fiend i am. candy is my JAM. Starbursts, Sour Straws, Skittles, Jolly Ranchers...who can choose?!

15. favorite book you read as a school assignment?

“Ceremony” by Leslie Marmon Silko. Highly recommend!!!!!!!!!!!

16. most comfortable position to sit in?

laying down lol sitting is for suckers

17. most frequently worn pair of shoes?

combat boots like the gay i am

18. ideal weather?

low 70′s degrees (F*), intermittent showers during the day but clear starry skies overnight

19. sleeping position?

mostly fetal, mostly on my side but chest is towards the bed, one arm under the pillow under my head

20. preferred place to write (i.e., in a note book, on your laptop, sketchpad, post-it notes, etc.)?

Laptop. I used to love writing in notebooks, but ya girl got weak fingy joints nowadays

21. obsession from childhood?

pfft as if they aren’t the same obsessions i have now

22. role model?

so many!!!!! Jameela Jamil is the first that comes to mind

23. strange habits?

lmao i am ass-deep in idiosyncrasies, if you ain’t read the blog title already

24. favorite crystal?

i don’t know anything about crystals. does blue topaz count? cuz that’s my birthstone and i like that one a lot. i even had the foresight to pick that as my engagement ring’s stone in my utterly preposterous & failed relationship

25. first song you remember hearing?

oh wow, no idea. music has always been huge for me. probably either a Britney Spears or Mary J. Blige song???

26. favorite activity to do in warm weather?

stay inside lmao

27. favorite activity to do in cold weather?

WEAR SWEATERS & DRINK HOT CHOCOLATE, BITCH!!!!!!!!!

28. five songs to describe you?

oof ok, hard, but here goes:

“Here” by Alessia Cara

“Wannabe” by the Spice Girls

“I’m Just a Kid and Life Is A Nightmare” by Simple Plan

“No Daddy” by Teairra Mari

“Brick By Boring Brick” by Paramore

29. best way to bond with you?

i am straight up not easy to make friends with (bc my own bullshit, not trying to be pretentious), so bonding is hard. the best way is probably a combo of queer + memes + loves food + correct morals + being the dominant talker

30. places that you find sacred?

Libraries, locally owned coffee shops, Walmarts at 3am, playgrounds in the middle of the night, side of a rural road at 12am, my bed

31. what outfit do you wear to kick ass and take names?

Blazer + shirt with a titty window + high waisted plaid pants + platform booties

32. top five favorite vines?

OMG I LOVE VINES OK OK OK OMG I LOVE SO MANY SO HERE ARE JUST THE ONES I QUOTE THE MOST OK:

Josh Kennedy: “What’s up my name’s Jared I’m 19 and I never fucking learned how to read”

Sarah Schauer: [dont remember the beginning] “didn’t you..?” “sleep in this? yes. mama needs A DRINK”

Evan Breer: “What’s up my & my boys are going to see Uncle Kracker - give me my hat back Jordan, do you see Uncle Kracker or no - *gasp!*”

Drew Gooden: “Road work ahead? Um yeah, I sure hope it does...”

Nathan Enick: “Yo how much money do you have?” “69 cents” “Oh you know what that means!” “...i don’t have enough money for chicken nuggets :( ...”

33. most used phrase in your phone?

bruh like how even am i supposed to answer this?? like texts or Siri requests or????? bc if it’s Siri requests then it’s 100% for arithmetic

34. advertisements you have stuck in your head?

Stanley Steamer. you kno the one

35. average time you fall asleep?

3:30am

36. what is the first meme you remember ever seeing?

bitch i’m a 90′s child of the internet, i was around the web before YouTube launched, i was there when the first modern memes were fucking conceived. i will say the biggest repository of meme culture that i was a part of was YouTube and icanhazcheezburger.com & its side-sites.

37. suitcase or duffel bag?

duffel - Tie-Dye Girl from the Lindsey Lohan “Parent Trap” made quite the impression on me

38. lemonade or tea?

Lemonade! hate the leaf water

39. lemon cake or lemon meringue pie?

Lemon cake! Not a meringue pie girl saly

40. weirdest thing to ever happen at your school?

I’ve been to a lot of schools yo lol. My undergrad college was def the “weirdest” ofc, bc it was an art school lol. An instance that stands out was a string of “Solid Gold Clit” graffiti after a Sophia Wallace visit to campus right before i started there.

41. last person you texted?

My bff triad pals @backwardswriter and @bristarshine

42. jacket pockets or pants pockets?

damn tough call. Probably jacket pockets bc i’m more likely to have those as a lady who wears lady-targeted pants

43. hoodie, leather jacket, cardigan, jean jacket or bomber jacket?

Hoodie

44. favorite scent for soap?

Plum!

45. which genre: sci-fi, fantasy or superhero?

Fantasy, though sci-fi is a solid 2nd. Not much of a superhero gal

46. most comfortable outfit to sleep in?

.....underwear only. Sometimes an oversized t-shirt too.

47. favorite type of cheese?

Mozzarella!!!

48. if you were a fruit, what kind would you be?

I would want to be like a pomegranate, but i’m probably a nectarine

49. what saying or quote do you live by?

“If you hope for the best but expect the worst, you’ll never be disappointed.”

50. what made you laugh the hardest you ever have?

bitch i’m a giggle monster, i taught myself to be easily amused as a survival mechanism.

51. current stresses?

My own lack of discipline.

52. favorite font?

oooooof i have so many ok. too name a few: Centaur, Garamont, Book Antigua, Times New Roman, Montserrat.....mostly Serif fonts bc I’m an old books bitch

53. what is the current state of your hands?

I don’t love my hands (how homophobic of me, I know). Currently they’re kinda dry and full of sandwich

54. what did you learn from your first job?

what kind of boss I like. also that my customer service voice is frighteningly pleasant

55. favorite fairy tale?

Original tale: Thumbelina. Adaptations: Snow White.

56. favorite tradition?

uhhh Thanksgiving feast I guess? i am not a traditions gal

57. the three biggest struggles you’ve overcome?

I am very very fortunate to not have a lot or a severity of these. The ones that I’ve had the worst of are: gender discrimination/harassment as a woman, hardcore emotional abuse in a relationship, and heavy heavy mental illness

58. four talents you’re proud of having?

Tangible talents: writing, lying. Intangible: A+ imagination, useless trivia.

59. if you were a video game character, what would your catchphrase be?

“I support you!”

60. if you were a character in an anime, what kind of anime would you want it to be?

like if Tokyo Mew Mew and Higurashi No Naku Koro Ni had a baby

61. favorite line you heard from a book/movie/tv show/etc.?

Again, how dare you. Like literally, asking me to pick a favorite line from something is like asking what my favorite breed of dog is. Legit impossible

62. seven characters you relate to?

Ananka Fishbein (Kiki Strike series), Mermista (She Ra & the Princesses of Power), Luna Lovegood (Harry Potter), Gwen (Total Drama), Rori Gilmore (Gilmore Girls), Villanelle (Killing Eve), Andrea (St. Trinian’s)

so like all very- to semi-weird white girls lmao

63. five songs that would play in your club?

[by the term “club” i assume that i’m limited to pop and electronic music. even with the limitation, though, a super hard question]

“Talking Body” by Tove Lo

“Hot in Herre” by Nelly

“Because the Night” by Cascada

“Nails, Hair, Hips, Heels” by Todrick Hall

“Break Free” by Ariana Grande ft. Zedd

64. favorite website from your childhood?

pretty much any doll franchise’s site (Barbie, Bratz, My Scene, Polly Pocket, Diva Girlz, everGirl, etc you name it)

65. any permanent scars?

Yep. One by a dog scratch (it was honestly a weak/shallow/innocent scratch, i still have no idea why it scarred at all), and a few from a car crash last year

66. favorite flower(s)?

i don’t really like flowers? i usually just say Forget-Me-Not’s for ease

67. good luck charms?

bitch idk but i’m knocking on wood just from thinking bout it

68. worst flavor of any food or drink you’ve ever tried?

you ever taste that chocolate Laffy Taffy? vile bruh

69. a fun fact that you don’t know how you learned?

I am annoying enough to know how i learnt all my facts, but the funnest fact I like to annoy people with is that ducks have corkscrew penises evolved from their main form of mating being rape

70. left or right handed?

Right (like any ol’ simp)

71. least favorite pattern?

polka dots

72. worst subject?

MATH and also PHYS ED

73. favorite weird flavor combo?

One time whilst high, I put nacho cheese Doritos on a tuna sandwich. Winning combo, I’m telling you

74. at what pain level out of ten (1 through 10) do you have to be at before you take an advil or ibuprofen?

My pain tolerance is straight up unpredictable, so like anywhere from a 3 to a 9

75. when did you lose your first tooth?

5 years old

76. what’s your favorite potato food (i.e. tater tots, baked potatoes, fries, chips, etc.)?

Mashed potatoes

77. best plant to grow on a windowsill?

I am not a plant person. Moss.

78. coffee from a gas station or sushi from a grocery store?

fucking neither but i at least like coffee so i guess the former....

(i know, it’s tragic and barbaric that i dislike sushi, i wish i had another answer for you)

79. which looks better, your school id photo or your driver’s license photo?

Neither lmao - I got them within a month of each other (six years ago) so they’re essentially the same photo.

80. earth tones or jewel tones?

Jewel!

81. fireflies or lightning bugs?

I mean those are the same bug so I assume this is asking about which terminology I typically use/prefer. Which i would say both bc I’m a cultured ho

82. pc or console?

I don’t game so I guess PC lmao

83. writing or drawing?

Writing but I like both

84. podcasts or talk radio?

damn neither lmao I can’t focus on non-music audio only. I guess talk radio, just bc I can do like ten minute radio segments at least lol

84. barbie or polly pocket?

both were lit but I had more Barbies

85. fairy tales or mythology?

not to sound like a broken record but FIRST OF ALL HOW DARE YOU? second of all, I essentially consider them in the same category at this point in modernity, so my answer is Yes.

86. cookies or cupcakes?

Cupcakes, but both are exquisite

87. your greatest fear?

spiders, heights, clowns, seeing bad things happening to animals, that my consciousness will exist even after death, y’know normal stuff

88. your greatest wish?

to transfer myself into one of my fave fictional worlds

89. who would you put before everyone else?

dogs, next question

90. luckiest mistake?

i make a lot of those honestly, so who knows

91. boxes or bags?

LISTEN I LOVE CONTAINERS OF ALL SORTS, YOU CAN’T MAKE ME CHOOSE, IM PANSEXUAL FOR A REASON

92. lamps, overhead lights, sunlight or fairy lights?

FLASHLIGHTS, BITCH

93. nicknames?

Ky, KyKy, Moonshine, SugarTits, Goog Bones

94. favorite season?

Autumn (yes i call it that instead of Fall bc i’m a pretentious ass bitch lol)

95. favorite app on your phone?

Tumblr, c’mon

96. desktop background?

Currently a digital art painting of a flowing stag in a swamp that I downloaded from DeviantArt. I change it every few months though (to other downloaded digital art from DA that I collect periodically lmao)

97. how many phone numbers do you have memorized?

Seven - mine, my mom’s 2 numbers, my grandma’s, my pop’s cell and office (also my old office) numbers, and my childhood house phone number lol

98. favorite historical era?

Golden Age of Piracy, specifically bc the piracy lol

Thank you so much for the asks, this was so much fun!!!

#asks

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xampomi · 5 years

Text

Exes & Angels | jjk

• genre: high school au | romance | mystery

• pairing: ex!jungkook x y/n

• warnings: jungkook's not using underwear (there's a reasonable reason for that); ¿maybe jimin has a crush on Jungkook¿ ; trust issues; I dunno

• summary: jungkook’s rambling

Jungkook was having a shitty day so far.

First, he forgot to wash his underwear in the weekend, so he just decided to go commando today bcs wtf was he gonna do at 6 in the morning?? Then, when running to class, he bumped into some weird guy.

"wtf man. Wanna fight?", the little guy said.

For a moment, Jungkook stopped dead in his tracks because he though he saw some fucking sparkling halo above boy's head. But Jungkook didn't sleep much that night anyway so.

"N-not now. Sorry. I'm running late.", which was technically true. The thing is Jungkook didn't care. And he didn't really wait for the sparkling guy's answer.

As soon as Jungkook entered the class he sat at his regular seat, the window's view being extremely appealing to him.

As all of us can imagine, Jungkook was a smart kid but he didnt really care since he knew he was also extremely hot. That thought came to his mind numerous times. He knew that he should probably quit high school and become a stripper. He was definitely done with this shit. In addition, that would bring a lot of fast easy money.

"Fuck, i forgot about breakfast.", he remembered, thanks to his body's noises. Then he try listening to class but that didn't worked that well for him since he has tendency to zone out real easily.

However, two knocks in the classroom's door echoed through Jungkook's ears and for some reason he was suddenly attentive to what was happening in the real world.

Soon after the knocking was heard, the teacher stood there like some earthquake emergency, in which he should tell the students to keep calm, keep calm but if you wanna come back to your mama, walk quickly.

Then he woke up. "Come in".

When the door opened, a dark-haired girl appeared She quickly smiled to the teacher as she entered the room. "Good morning. Sorry to interrupt your class", she said in a low, innocent voice, although something on him told him that she didn't really care about his class. But he was no more interested in what was happening so he just dropped his head again on the table.

"Don't worry. What do you need, y/n?", he couldn't see what was happening but Jungkook knew that the teacher's teeth were about to fall down if he kept smiling like that to the girl.

"Could I borrow... Jung Jungkook? He's from this class, right? Mr. Robert wants to talk to him", y/n kindly asked.

Something was wrong. Everyone knew Robert was done having conversations with Jungkook since what happened in the canteen 2 months ago. Or perhaps he decided to finally let that go of that. He hoped so. He didn't wanted to talk about that again. Besides, Namjoon deserved it.

Maybe this time Mr. Robert wants to finally have a real conversation. Maybe about last week's fire alarm's break out.

Oh well.

"Ah!", the teacher dropped too happily. Then he seemed kinda regretful. Yeah. Hide the excitement, you bastard. "Go talk to the principal, Jeon."

"Oh no, I can't What about your class? I was so excited about hearing about the... effect of.... molecular evidence on....the classification of...hm... organisms.", I said already reaching for the door. I don't know if you noticed but I was being extremely sarcastic.

"Ooooh, don't worry.", yeah, he prolonged that "oh" like that. He was also being sarcastic but I know that deep inside he would miss me. Everyone those.

"You know I always open an exception for you every time you need to do things outside my class, Jeon. C'mon. Go talk to the principal." He pointed to the door in a very nonsarcastic way.

"I will come back for you.", I didn't really said this. But it would be funny. Because I would never come back.

Now in the corridor, Jungkook felt real freedom. He could finally go home, eat pancakes and dress some sweatpants or something that wouldn't make his dick itchy.

"Ya. Where do you think you're going?"

Shit.

"You know I'm really grateful that you let me out of there. Seriously." He made a dramatic pause. Then he decided to push him hair back and for a second, he though he saw her rolling her brown dark eyes. "But we broke up, y/n. You need to find yourself another man."

For a moment she looked kinda offended. Then remember she had more important things to discuss with him.

"lol that's what's i've been trying to do. I though it was pretty obvious I was trying to seduce Jimin. I mean, he's cute as hell. He just.... he doesn't look normal, okay? And not the "He's-just-too-good-to-be-true"type. I mean, it's obvious that a man like him could never be compared as a simple human. Have you ever had a good look at him? He's a God. He's just beautiful and kind, and talented,and sooo funny. Absolutely boyfriend material,ya know. And his buttcheks?? I could never think of a better--"

"Okay, okay. I get it. And?"

"He isn't normal, jungkook."

"As you've been telling me."

"He seriously isn't normal."

"Who is?", I smirked. "Just tell me who this Jimin guy is already bcs i think I've never heard of him."

She frozed a little. Then she slowly approached him.

"Buy you saw him, right? I know you did. I saw you this morning with him. That's why I came to you.", she had her eyes real open by now. "You're the living prove that I'm not crazy. You're the only one who always believes in me, right?"

Jungkook took a good at her. She no more looked like the shy, innocent girl that came for him in the middle of class. Sure, she still looked like the typical social butterfly. She was always the type of person that just loved to befriend people here and there. Now she just looked kinda exhausted. Still beautiful, but exhausted.

So yeah, jungkook was fricking out a little bit. Something was wrong with her. He needed to calm her down, so he could go home.

Then she suddenly went closer to him, her voice quieter than before. "I also need to tell you about the weirdest part, BUT you need to promise me to keep secret. Promise me."

"Okay, go on."

"I'm serious, kookie. "

"Don't call me that. I told you before, right?"

"Do it."

"I, Jeon Jungkook, promise that I will never tell whatever you're about to tell me."

"I think I killed him."

Jungkook frozed. For some reason his vision started getting blurry. He didn't eat anything since yesterday. He needed to eat.

"Sorry. Can you repeat that?"

"It was an accident, Jungkook. An accident." Her face has becomed red, her eyes watery and her body shaky. "C'mon. If you don't believe in me, who will?".

"But I talked to him this morning. He's not dead, y/n"

"He really is."

"That's so fucking impossible, y/n." He pushed his hair back, but not in a seductive way anymore. "You can only be lying to me rn. What the fuck happened?"

She avoid jungkook's eyes. "I don't know! One minute we were just making out inside the school depository and next one, he--"

Jungkook hoped he wouldnt regret his next words.

"Prove it."

"You still won't believe me, do you?"

"Y/n. Where's the body?"

"If I show it to you right now....will you believe in me? Will you promise to believe forever in me?"

Jungkook looked around. He was not in the right mood to see a dead body rn. But It was 14pm and for some reason he saw no one.

He should probably come back to class anyway.

"The body is still in there here, ya know."

"What?"

"Don't worry. Obviously is hidden under some blankets I found in there. I can show it to you."

"Did you call the policy?"

Now she frozen on her feet. "No, ofc not. I can't go to jail. I can't. Please believe in me, Kookie. We could just go. As we talked about bef-"

Jungkook should definitely become a stripper after this. But for now, he needed to call someone. However, the phone was inside the classroom. He couldn't call the police without a crime. He needed to see for himself. Yeah, played with fire alarms but dont fucking mess with 911.

If that boy really was dead, y/n needed to be arrested. That's the truth. He will eventually need to discuss it with her. Just not now.

"Let's go, then", he finally decides.

"Yey", she said but not that excited - she even seemed a little disappointed?? - but took his arm between hers anyway and guided him from corridor to corridor.

When they first arrived the depository's door, Jungkook was expecting to her to free his arm but she didn't. She wasn't stopped trembling. She killed a man and can't stop shaking wtf. She was afraid. Well, Jungkook was the one who should be afraid. I mean she had a lot of time to get accustomed to the cadaver. But more than that, Jungkook was hungry. Poor Jungkook.

The next moment,he saw y/n taking from her pocket a metal key. How did she get that? The innocent shy girl who could never lie to anyone, was no more a good girl.

She unlocked the door. "You'll believe in me now, Kook." And they stepped inside.

"It's too dark", he said.

"I know, dummy. I'll search for the switch."

The light went on but he still couldnt see anything.

"Where the fuck is the body? Are you lying to me again?"

"What do you mean? He's right there. Look.", she started pointing weirdly to the floor in front of them. She looked mad. Almost like there was something there that only her could see.

'Y/n. Where's the body. I'm serious now."

"Right here, Kok. Come closer."

He did. He did come a little closer.

"I would never lie to you. He's right there. Right there."

Still searching for something , Jungkook collapsed on the floor after the strong sting he felt in his neck.

2/7.

#bts #exo #got7 #blackpinga #twice #ioi #pancakes #rrede belvet #1a1 #fanfic #kindasad #fuckboi #smut #angst #sexystuff #uwuw #ariana grande

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