#i know it's a lot of dialogue. my apologies i just love to write dialogue and HATE to write exposition lol

[whiskey-tango-matcha]

Then & Now (M, cold)

Hiii, hope you like A LOT of hurt followed by 2-3 sentences of comfort lmao. This is Greyson fic - Grey is sick on a day he and Reed are supposed to have a date, and he's sure Reed is going to be angry with him because Trauma(TM). It's told in a flashback sort of format which I really enjoyed because I love writing blurbs of colds at different times in life lol. I hope you guys like it, please let me know what ya think, good, bad, or otherwise :)

CW: Male snz, cold, pneumonia mention, coughing, contagion mention, lots and lots of whump lmao. A little over 4K words under the cut.

Then & Now

Now

“Morning, Chef.”

“Huh-! HhITSZHH-ue!”

Elijah turned towards Greyson, who was doubled over into his hoodie sleeve, and gave him a sympathetic grimace. “Cooks finally pulled you under, hmm?”

“Ugh, like way fuckin’ under,” Greyson muttered, rubbing his eye and sucking in through his nose. “I feel like ass.”

“Sorry, dude,” Elijah said, tossing his counterpart a box of tissues. “Sucks.”

Greyson caught the box and pulled out a few just in time. “HITSZHZH-uhh!” This one, he managed to catch in the handful of tissues. He wiped his nose and shrugged. “Yeah,” he said, tossing the used tissues. “Mbostly because I was supposed to have a date tonight.”

Elijah smirked at his friend, who was pushing past the GM into their shared office. The two of them sat in unison. “Do you guys still call them dates? You’ve been official for, like, six months.”

“It’s our six-month anniversary,” Greyson said, his voice flattened by congestion. “We were going to do EMP.”

“Awww, now I’m depressed,” Elijah said. “Also, why didn’t you tell me earlier you were going to Eleven Madison? I still know people there.”

“So does Reed,” Greyson said, massaging his temple. “That’s why we were goigg. Fuck, mby fuckin’ head is pounding. Do we have any -?”

Elijah placed the ibuprofen in front of the chef before he could ask, along with a bottle of cough syrup and a decongestant. “You know we have it all,” he said, pushing an old cup of water across the desk for Greyson to swallow his arsenal of pills. “And fair enough. Well that fuckin’ sucks, dude, I’m sorry. Hey, at least you can leave early, right? Matt’s closing?”

“Yeah,” Greyson said, unwrapping a cough drop and popping it in his mouth. “I’ll head out once the rush is over. I still have to text Reee – hh...hhNTSHH-ue! HGTSHH-uhh!” Greyson doubled over, sneezed into his arm, and groaned. “I’mb gonna kill the guys when they get in,” he said, mostly to himself.

“Don’t do that,” Elijah said, placing a hand on Greyson’s shoulder on his way out of the office. “Then you’ll have to stay all night.”

Greyson huffed out a laugh and pulled out his phone. He clicked on his conversation with Reed, sighing. He did not want to have this conversation.

Greyson

9:31AM

hey babe. gonna have to cancel tonight, the cooks infected me w their plague :( im rly sorry.

The chef set his phone on the desk, prepared to either be ghosted or gaslit – two of Collin’s favorite pastimes whenever Greyson had had to cancel their plans during their relationship – and was shocked when the phone buzzed with a text almost immediately. He was almost afraid to look at his boyfriend’s response.

Reed

9:32AM

Oh, baby don’t be sorry!! what time are you off? I’ll pick you up and take you home :) we can do a sick day little date night instead!

Greyson stared at the phone, stunned. He couldn’t help it; he read the message again, then out loud said, “What the fuck?”

Then – Ten Years Ago

“Chef?”

The Executive Chef looked up from his paperwork at Greyson and sighed. “What is it, Abbott?”

“I, um – hh! HTSHH-uh! HGXTSH-ue! Snf. Umb, I just wanted to see if it was okay if I… left a little early today?” Greyson asked, his voice barely above a whisper. His chef raised his eyebrows and put his clipboard down. Oh, no, Greyson thought.

“Leave...early? And leave your clean up and prep to whom, exactly? Me?” The Executive Chef huffed out a laugh. “That’s rich, Abbott. Why the fuck would you need to leave early?”

“I…” Greyson started, but his voice gave out on the single syllable. He attempted to clear his throat. “I just… I really feel like shit? I was hoping I could, like… sleep it off, I guess. I mbean, I wouldn’t want to get anyone else sigck.” Greyson felt a cough bubbling to the surface; he tried to quell it, to no avail. The younger man collapsed into a coughing fit that felt like it lasted a lifetime.

The Chef remained unmoved. “My guys,” he said, placing a hand on his chest as Greyson attempted to compose himself, “don’t get sick, Abbott. And if they do, I don’t fucking hear about it. Understand? Because I really don’t give a shit. If you’re here, you’re here. If you decide to leave early,” he shrugged, uncaring, “then you leave for good. And Abbott, if you try to get a job after walking out of my kitchen, I promise you I will make it impossible. I know you’ve only been here a couple months, but here’s what you need to learn: put your head down and do your fucking job, and you can work anywhere in the world after this. Be a whiny piece of shit who tries to walk out on his shift, and you’ll be working at McDonald’s for the rest of you life. Got it?”

Greyson, too shocked to rebut, just bobbed his head up and down.

“Let me hear you say it,” the Chef said. Greyson cleared his throat.

“Yes, Chef,” he said. The Chef nodded.

“Now get the fuck out of my office.”

Now

“Elijah. Look at this text.”

The GM looked up slowly from the iPad where he was going over reservations for the evening. “...Why?” he asked, taking the phone from Greyson’s hand.

“Just look. Tell mbe that’s ndot weird,” Greyson said, crossing his arms over his chest. Elijah looked down, confused, and read the text. He pinched his eyebrows together just a little, and read it again. “See? Isn’t that weird?”

“Greyson…” Elijah said, handing the phone back. “That’s not weird.”

“Seriously?” Greyson asked, reading the text yet again. “It’s bizarre. He’s ndot even a little mad? C’mon. That’s weird.”

“He’s being sweet,” Elijah explained, slowly, as though he were talking to a toddler. “Did you want him to be mad? Because that’s bizarre.”

“Ndo I don’t want him to be mad. I jus – HTSZHH-ue! HRRSHH!” Greyson wrenched to the side to sneeze, which sent him into a fit of hacking coughs. “I just figured he’d want to, like, yell at mbe or something. For canceling,” Greyson finished, his voice strained against another cough. Elijah didn’t respond, not at first, and instead pressed a hand onto the chef’s forehead.

“I think you’re sicker than we thought, because you’re acting fucking delusional,” he said as Greyson slapped his hand away. “Greyson, normal people don’t yell at each other for getting sick, or having to cancel a plan. That’s, like, really twisted.”

Greyson rolled his eyes. “It’s ndot twisted, Lij you fuckin’ drama queen,” he said, then held up a finger. “Onesec – hh! Hh...hnn.” Greyson sniffled, a let out a little irritated cough. “Lost it.”

“Go back to the kitchen,” Elijah said, pointing towards the swinging doors. “Sit down. Rest. Let your medicine kick in. I don’t want people seeing this -” he gestured to Greyson, as if to allude to his entire being – “when they walk past the restaurant. Alright? Text your boyfriend something nice. Not something unhinged.”

“Oh, fuck you,” Greyson muttered, turning toward the kitchen, his phone still open to the conversation with Reed. He turned towards Elijah again before pushing through the kitchen doors. “I still say that this is the unhinged thing.”

“Go to therapy, Greyson,” Elijah said, not looking up from the iPad. Greyson rolled his eyes, pushed into the kitchen, and regarded his phone once again.

Greyson

10:07AM

thanks, babe. it’s ok, I can take care of myself. it wont be a long day, ill just grab some nyquil omw home and sleep it off. ill reschedule our rezo too, don’t worry about that. im really sorry again for canceling. if I could taste the food id still go lol.

Figuring that sounded at least relatively normal, Greyson hit send. He sat down at his desk once again and placed his head in his hands. No way he’s not pissed, Greyson thought, and he really believed it. In all his years of dating, he’d never met anyone who would respond that way; they’d at least have a snippy remark about the last-minute nature of the cancellation.

Greyson’s phone pinged once again, and he couldn’t help but grab it right away to assess the damage.

Reed

10:08AM

honey, please don’t apologize, seriously. youre sick, it happens, its no biggie :) I already moved the reservation to next week but if we need to ill move it again. james at emp said to tell you feel better btw.

Greyson blinked, dumbstruck. He started typing without thinking.

Greyson

10:10AM

you REALLY arent mad? seriously?

Reed

10:10AM

im really not mad. who gets mad at someone for being sick…? is someone at work mad at you? am I supposed to be mad..? lol

Greyson

10:11AM

I mean its a last minute cancellation. id understand if u were mad.

Reed

10:11AM

welllll….im not. is that ok? haha

Reed

10:15AM

grey…? you believe me, right?

Reed

10:21AM

greyson..?

Then – Seven Years Ago

He was moving through molasses.

Greyson placed a sluggish hand to his own forehead – you can’t check yourself for a fever, dumbass – and blinked painfully. He’d made it to work, he’d made it through the day, and he’d made it back home, against all odds. Now, he was stuck on his couch, unable to even crawl to the bathroom for a thermometer.

It had all compounded on him, was his guess. The endless fourteen hour days for the better part of two years at his thankless sous chef job. The shitty Chicago-suburbs apartment with no heat, where he froze for the few hours a week he slept. The near-constant drinking. Sure, he was only twenty-five, but what was it they said about this industry? It ages you in dog years. Yeah, that was it.

“Hh-! Hh...ITSZHH-ue! HTSHHH-ue!” Greyson sneezed helplessly into the blanket he’d wrapped around himself, and groaned. This was not what he’d imagined when he moved here from Minnesota. He’d thought it would be glamorous, working as a sous chef at a high-end hotel in a big city. He thought he’d have friends, or a girlfriend, or something. Instead, he was trapped on his couch, benched by a sinus infection and seasonal depression that seemed to last the whole year round. Fuck this, Greyson thought. He couldn’t get off the couch, but he could reach his phone; Greyson pulled up Indeed and changed his search parameters.

Actively searching for work. Location: Any.

Now

“Um… Chef? What’s, uh… what’s going on?”

Greyson paused for a moment, a crate of spoiled food held on his shoulder. He turned towards Matt, keen to answer, but instead held the crate tighter and wrenched to the side. “HRTTSHH-uh!”

“Bless you,” Matt said, an automatic reaction. Greyson nodded, turned towards the dumpster, and dumped the food in before beginning the cycle anew: pick up crate. Turn to sneeze. Dump old food. Matt wasn’t sure if he should help his boss, or go inside for backup.

He chose the former, picking a crate filled to the brim with rotten tomatoes off the ground and hoisting it into the trash. “You gonna tell me what’s up?” he asked as the two of them continued gathering and tossing.

Greyson sighed, pulled a hand down his face, and shook his head. “I thingk Reed and I are over,” he said, voice soft and throaty. Matt’s eyebrows shot up.

“What? Seriously? What did you do?” Matt asked, prompting a stuffy laugh from his boss.

“I just don’t thingk it’s going to work,” Greyson said, shrugging. “I… I don’t want to, like, play gambes. I can’t do that again, ndot after Collin.”

“Chef,” Matt said as he gathered and tossed the last milk crate, “what are you talking about? Reed is, like, the most straight-shooting guy I’ve ever met. How is he playing games?”

Greyson, left without anything to occupy his hands, just shrugged and pulled out his phone. He handed it to Matt without explanation, and the sous quickly read through the text conversation Greyson and Reed had going. Matt furrowed his brow.

“I don’t get it,” he said, handing the phone back. “He wants to take care of you, what’s the problem with that?”

“He doesn’t want to take care of me, he wants to have the upper hand,” Greyson explained, pulling out a pack of cigarettes and sitting on the step just outside the back door. “Want one?”

“Sure,” Matt said, sitting beside his boss. “I mean, you shouldn’t be smoking if you’re -”

“HTSHH! Hh-! ITZSHH-ue!” Greyson turned into his elbow, taking a long moment to gather himself before handing Matt his cigarette.

“-sick,” Matt finished. The older man shrugged, and Matt plucked the lighter out of Greyson’s hand to light both of them up, not daring to push his boss any closer to the edge. For a moment, they smoked in silence, only Greyson’s sniffles and coughs interrupting the quiet.

“Boss,” Matt said, finally, “I think you need to talk to Reed.”

“I did,” Greyson said, stubbing out his cigarette. “You saw.”

“No, I mean actually talk to him,” Matt said. The two of them stood, looking at each other – a face-off without the malice. Matt continued. “Not ignore his texts and clean out the walk-in.”

Greyson scoffed. “Matt, just because you have sombe fairy-tale love story doesn’t mbean everyone else does, too. Okay? If it’s over between me and Reed, it’s fine. I’mb better off alone, anywaa – hh! Hh… Hhhii-!” Greyson stood with his elbow poised at his face, stuck in pre-sneeze agony for what seemed like an eternity. While he was incapacitated, Matt took his phone and typed out a message that his boss couldn’t see. Finally, Greyson lowered his arm and sucked in, fruitlessly, through his nose. “The fugck are you doigg?” he asked, snatching his phone back from his sous.

“If you’re not going to talk to Reed,” Matt shrugged, unapologetic, “I will.”

Greyson looked down at his phone, which buzzed twice in his hand. Reed’s face popped up on the screen. Call from: reed <3

Then – Three Years Ago

“HTSHH! Huh! ETZSHH-ue! HRTTSHH-ue!”

“Bless, bless, bless you. Allergies?” Collin asked, not looking up from his phone. Greyson sniffled in vain, and coughed painfully.

“Ndot exactly,” he croaked from the doorway to Collin’s living room. “Baby, do you thingk you could drive mbe to urdent care, actually?”

Collin looked up and slowly raised an eyebrow. “For what?” he asked, obviously annoyed. Greyson swallowed as best he could and placed a hand on his throat.

“I thingk… I mbight have strep. Or bronchitis, or sombething. I, uh… I’ve had a fever for like. A week.” Greyson had to stop to close his eyes and grab onto the door frame, a sordid attempt to keep from hitting the floor like a rotten sack of potatoes. Collin rolled his eyes.

“You’re such a drama queen. You seemed fine when you came over last night.”

“You were asleep whend I came over,” Greyson said, his eyes still closed. “Did you ndot notice that I haven’t been over in like five days?”

Collin shrugged. “I mean, yeah, but I figured you were busy with work. You’re always busy with work,” he said, the venom in his voice making clear that he wanted to fight.

Greyson, physically incapable of fighting at that moment, just slid slowly to the ground and nodded. “Yeah. You’re right,” he said. “Ndow I’m paying the price. Please, baby. Can you please just take me? I… I really don’t feel well.”

It was pathetic. He knew it, but he couldn’t stop himself; he was fairly sure he was moments from passing out. Collin turned and made himself comfier on the couch.

“I’ll call you an uber,” he said, pressing some buttons on his phone. “You barely make time for me, and now you’re asking me to be your chauffeur? Please, Greyson.” He showed his ailing boyfriend the phone. “He’ll be out front in five minutes. Better make your way down.”

“Okay,” Greyson said, pulling himself slowly to his feet. “Thangk you.”

Collin didn’t say a word as Greyson let himself out of the apartment. He made it downstairs, and into the uber, and into the waiting room at urgent care. He made it out by himself, too, with a laundry list of prognoses – strep, sinus infection, walking pneumonia – and a handful of prescriptions. When he texted Collin later to fill him in, his boyfriend didn’t text back.

Greyson fell asleep on his shower floor and awoke to freezing water pounding on him, and a courier pounding on his door. When he toweled off and answered it, chicken soup from the local bodega and a note that read feel better -c sat at his feet. Greyson breathed a sigh of relief; at least he had been forgiven.

Now

Reed had dated plenty of men is his thirty-five years of life, and had found that there were two general categories when it came to sick men: there was the Baby, and there was the Don’t Look at Me.

Greyson though, an enigma since the moment they met, seemed to fall into a third category, a category that was, to Reed, yet undiscovered: the You Hate Me.

Reed was good with the first two categories; the Don’t Look at Me, you left medicine outside their room and texted them funny memes. The Baby, you laid in bed with them and spoon-fed them soup. Easy. Understandable. Truthfully, this was one of his favorite things about men: they were easy to crack. He figured Greyson would likely fall into the Baby category, which was fine by him – there was nothing he’d like more than to look after an ailing Greyson, to be honest. This third category he seemed to embody, though, was not something Reed knew what to do with.

“He didn’t answer when I called him,” Reed said into the phone receiver. “I just want to know what’s going on, I mean, did I say something wrong?”

On the other end of the line, Elijah sighed. “No, you didn’t do anything wrong. This is just… it’s just Greyson being Greyson.”

Reed wasn’t about to take this lying down. “Hey, are you guys super busy tonight? I mean, I don’t want to be that boyfriend, but, like, can I come get him? We really need to talk, and if what Matt said is true he probably shouldn’t be, like, working anyway, right?”

While Elijah paused, Reed pulled the phone away from his ear and once again re-read the text Matt had sent from Greyson’s phone: hey reed, it’s matt. grey is sick as hell, so DO NOT take any of the crazy weird shit he says seriously, k? his temperature needs to lower by like 5 degrees before you do this, but u guys need to actually talk. he’s being stupid.

“Please,” Reed heard Elijah’s tinny voice on the other end and put the phone back to his ear. “Please, come and collect him. I’m begging.”

Reed stood from the couch and grabbed his keys. “Give me twenty minutes. I’m on my way.”

Then – Two Years Ago

“Heyyy, baby, cand I buy you a dringk?”

The girl leaned back, her face marked by disgust. “No, thanks. Save your money and get yourself some NyQuil,” she said, disappearing into the crowd. Greyson huffed out a sigh and coughed into his hand – a long, crackling sound that made the other bar patrons inch their chairs away.

“She’s right, you know,” the bartender – Skip, Greyson had learned his name was a few weeks back when he had started coming in every night – said, filling Greyson’s shot glass yet again. “You need to go home.”

“And yet you pour mbe another drink,” Greyson said, knocking back the shot. “The duality of mban. NGTXSH! HTSHH! Huh-! HRRSHH-ue!” Greyson covered his mouth lazily with one hand, wiped it on his pants, hand held the glass up to indicate ‘another’.

“Bless you,” Skip said, not pouring the shot. “Greyson, seriously: go home. You sound fucking awful.”

“Are you cutting mbe off?” Greyson asked, his rheumy eyes meeting Skip’s over the bartop. “Because unless you are, I’mb staying.” He coughed again, into his elbow; the cough was quickly becoming a problem. He’d had a cold two weeks ago; the symptoms had been mild, but the cough had hung around. When he caught whatever-the-fuck this was two days ago, the cough had turned from an annoyance to a pressing issue; he should go home. He should go to the doctor, he should take a day off, he should, he should, he should.

But he wouldn’t. He would stay, and he would drink until he was kicked out, then he’d pass out on the train and not make it home to sleep. He’d go to work at seven AM and stay until midnight and do it all again.

“I’m not kicking you out,” Skip sighed. “I’m just saying… you should take care of yourself.”

Greyson blinked slowly. He could feel his lungs, heavy with fluid, gearing up to cough again; his head, pounding in spite or because of the alcohol; his heart crushed into a million, Collin-sized pieces. Take care of yourself. It felt impossible, when you’d never been shown how.

“This is mbe taking care of myself,” he said, clearing his throat. “I’ll have another.”

Now

Greyson rested his head on a case of lettuce in the corner of the walk-in. He knew he should be continuing his madness of cleaning, but he’d accidentally sat down on his fifth trip into the refrigerator, and now he wasn’t sure he’d be able to get up again.

Fucking Reed, Greyson thought as he allowed the cold salad box to sate the fever he had burning in his brain. Why can’t he just be up front with me? If you’re mad just say it, don’t fucking torture me.

Perhaps deep down, he knew he was being ridiculous; Matt and Elijah were most likely correct. The simplest answer – that Reed truly was just a good guy – was probably the right one. But he just couldn’t get out of his mind all the times he’d reached out, needed help and asked for it, and been shot down. He certainly couldn’t allow himself to believe that the person he was dating was truly good; he knew he’d never deserve that.

“Greyson?”

Speaking of Reed, that sounded a lot like him – was Greyson hearing things? Had he, in his fever-addled state, conjured a hallucination of his boyfriend to have a fight with? Bizarre, Grey, he thought to himself. That’s really fucking bizarre.

“Grey? Elijah said you were in here but I don’t – oh!”

Either this was a really crazy hallucination, or that really was Reed standing over him, in the walk-in. Greyson blinked hard, then blinked again, and suddenly Reed was on the ground next to him.

“Babe...it’s really cold in here. Do you think we can, um, leave?”

Greyson furrowed his eyebrows together. “Leave… and go where?” he asked, his voice cracking. “I have to… work. What are you doigg heeee...HRTSHH-ue! Huh -! HTSHH! NTSHH! IGXTSH!” Greyson attempted to stifle over and over, until Reed gently took his hand and pulled it away from his face.

“That has to hurt,” Reed said, his voice quiet and calm. “You can just… sneeze, you know. Like, regular.”

“Tryigg ndot to get you,” Greyson croaked, his eyes glazing over once again. “Youbettermov – HRRETSZCHH-ue! ITSZZHH-ue! Fuck – NGTSHHZ-ue!” Greyson sneezed into his lap, then coughed until his lungs felt sore. Reed didn’t move; he came closer and rubbed Greyson’s back.

“Bless you, baby,” Reed said, eventually.

“Thangks. Sorry,” Greyson murmured, pushing his hair out of his face and turning to look at Reed. “Why are you here?” he asked, levity out the window.

Reed let out a little laugh. “Umm, why do you think?” he asked. “You’ve been ignoring me since this morning. I got worried, since Matt said you were super sick – no lie detected, by the way, you sound truly awful –”

“Sorry,” Greyson said again, wiping under his nose. “I kndow, it’s gross.”

“Please, Grey,” Reed said, taking both sides of his boyfriend’s face in his hands and looking him in the eye. “Please. Stop apologizing. It’s okay to be sick. I don’t understand why you think I’m angry at you. I’m not.”

Greyson swallowed, painfully, and gave a little nod. “Okay,” he said, finally.

“Okay,” Reed repeated. “Anyway. I called Elijah. He said to come and collect you.”

At this, Greyson couldn’t help but cough out a laugh. “Collect mbe?” he asked. Reed smiled a little.

“Yeah,” he said. “His words, not mine.”

They both laughed, softly at first, then ramping up to near-hysteria. They only stopped when Greyson started coughing again and couldn’t seem to stop.

“Let’s go get you some water,” Reed said, helping his boyfriend to his shaky feet. Greyson allowed himself to be pulled out of the walk-in, and given a bottle of water that was sitting on his prep station. Greyson drank until the fit subsided, then regarded Reed once again.

“So… you really aren’t mbad?” he asked, rubbing his goosebumped arms up and down. Reed shook his head and shrugged off his windbreaker. He draped it over Greyson’s shoulders.

“I’m really not mad,” he insisted. Greyson nodded, seemingly satiated. Reed sighed through his nose and slipped his arms around the chef.

“Life’s done a number on you, huh?” he asked, quietly enough that it could’ve just been to himself. Greyson huffed out a sad little laugh.

“Like you wouldn’t believe, baby,” he murmured, pressing his hot head into Reed’s hair. “Like you wouldn’t believe.”

#whiskeyswriting #snz #sickfic #snzfic #coldfic #snzblr #snez #male cold #male snz #this was a fun one! #whump #h/c #but mostly hurt lol #i know it's a lot of dialogue. my apologies i just love to write dialogue and HATE to write exposition lol #which is Not Good Writing but whatever #this is my horn snz blog not my doctoral thesis lmao

[jonnywaistcoat]

Hi Jonny! Re: your latest post, did you mean that guest writers are also involved with the metaplot portions (with Alice and Sam ans Gwen and the others), or just the case file/"statement" parts? Inquiring minds would like to know. Really enjoying Protocol so far!

So, the detailed answer to this is very complicated, as it's all about parallel production pipelines and varies quite a lot between guest writers, as they all had different schedules/availability. We'll probably dive into it more on a Q&A at some point.

Broadly speaking, the shape and story of the overall metaplot is all me and Alex. We'd have loved to get some of the guest writers involved for a bit more of a writers room feel, but time and logistics simply didn't allow for it. Once we'd sculpted the seasons, we sent out the episode briefs to the guest writers, along with a prompt for a possible case. Some of them used the prompts, others created the whole thing themselves. A few did a pass at the dialogue scenes, but most of these ended up being heavily redone by me and Alex when we were going through and weaving the story together and making the characterisation consistent (it was all being written pretty much simultaneously, so when drafting the guest writers really only had the pilot to go on in terms of writing the cast). Then there were a couple rounds of feedback/edits for the cases, and me and Alex adding in bits to tie the case into the metaplot a bit more and make the tone a bit more cohesive.

Like I say, it varied heavily based on the guest writer (and which of myself or Alex had the first edit pass on an episode), but if you're trying to guess how likely any given event/line was to be written by someone specific, the chances are generally something like

Overall story: 50% Jonny, 50% Alex

"Written by Jonny" episode: 80% Jonny, 20% Alex

"Written by Alex"episode: 80% Alex, 20% Jonny

Guest writer episode (case): 80% Guest, 10% Alex, 10% Jonny

Guest writer episode (scenes): 20% Guest, 40% Alex, 40% Jonny

To be clear, these numbers are purely illustrative, but they give you a rough idea of at least how it seemed from my end. April's been doing a fantastic job of organising the production, so apologies to her if I'm talking fully out my ass :p

#plucking numbers out of the air #collaborative writing is complicated #but very rewarding #tmagp #the magnus protocol

[isalisewrites]

A Deep Dive into JKR's Terrible, Amateur Writing - Part One

Welcome to my new series, where I will prove to you, dear reader, that J.K. Rowling, author of the Harry Potter series and resident Twitter TERF, is actually a very, very poor writer.

And when I say 'poor writer,' I'm talking about her prose, her sentence structure, and her scenes. I am not going to discuss anything about the HP world nor the plots of the books.

This is all about the nitty gritty in the craft of writing itself.

Disclaimer for all readers: I'm going to sound very confident in my posts. I'm going to be working under the assumption that I'm a better writer than JKR. Because I am. My apologies if this rubs you the wrong way. You're just witnessing two and half decades of experience with the intensity from a neurodivergent who is hyperfocused on her special interest. I didn't just learn how to create stories; I learned the craft of writing to a minutia of details.

After years of being beaten down by others, I will no longer tolerate that.

I will be using my writing to compare with hers to make some of my points. Some of what I say in these posts could be considered stylistic choices. However, in my humble opinion, most of this is a difference of skill, which can be learned. Yes, everything I'm going to teach and cover in this series can be learned. There's no 'talent' here. You can learn how to become a better writer right here and now. You only have to understand the craft of writing and sentence structure to better improve your prose and scenes.

I don't have fame and money.

I don't need them to teach you how to write better than JKR.

You're free to disagree with my stances about this and about everything I cover, of course. But if you're a writer, you might gain some insight from this post and I sincerely hope you are enriched by my efforts in this. I spent quite a few hours on this post. Helping others become a better writer than JKR is one of the greatest contributions I can give to society.

Thus, take what resonates and leave what doesn't.

I have stated before: JKR's writing is bloated in the wrong places, underwritten in others, and the prose is poor. These problems show up in all of her HP books.

Buckle up, my writing friends. Grab a snack. Hydrate. Let's begin.

Class is in session.

In this post, we're going to dissect a page from HP4.

There's so much wrong with this page and the three pages of this scene overall. So much to go over. Bullet points I'll cover from this page:

Disconnected Dialogue Lines

The Great Sin of Adverbs

Too much fucking dialogue!

Wrong focus altogether in this scene

Out of POV writing

First point. This is a huge ongoing issue I see in all of the HP books. There are a lot of disconnected dialogue lines, which become confusing over time. This could be an issue of the publisher, but it's still a problem. In the middle of this page, we have:

Sirius hesitated. "I've been hearing some very strange things," he said slowly.

Wait, wait, wait. Who said this? Listen, I know. I know it's Sirius. However, this is an improper placement on the page and can become confusing because Harry also goes by he/him pronouns and he's also in this scene. While the dialogue here suggests Sirius is talking, it could easily be misinterpreted if there were other characters or if he said something that Harry could've just as easily said.

To make this dialogue more clear for the reader, it should go as follows:

Sirius hesitated. "I've been hearing some very strange things," he said slowly.

Second point. JKR is an adverb sinner, a criminal. Jail. "Do not pass go; do not collect $200." Arrest her for these blatant crimes, please, for the love of god.

Look, I love adverbs. They're great. Don't fucking listen to anyone who outright demonizes them (including your huffy, uppity literature professors). Adverbs are the seasonings of writing. You season your food; you also need to season your writing when the case asks for it.

However...

Adverbs should always be used sparingly when connected to dialogue tags. The setting in this scene is: Harry is in the Gryffindor Common Room at night crouched in front of the fireplace where Sirius is in the fire in a floo call. I read through the whole scene, though I've only shown one page here.

Harry says a line of dialogue 'slowly' three times and Sirius says a line of dialogue 'slowly' two times.

The same adverb 'slowly' is used FIVE FUCKING TIMES IN THREE PAGES.

I want to scream, not gonna lie here. Set this adverb on fire!

What does this adverb do for us in this conversation? What is so important that we have to be told that five lines of dialogue were said slowly? What do they contribute? Spoiler alert: nothing. What are their facial expressions? Harry is 14. He's exhausted since it's well after 1am or so and he's burdened with the new knowledge of dragons for the first task. He's kneeling in front of a very hot fireplace. There's fire fumes and smoke, potentially. Is he fidgeting? Is he yawning? Rubbing his eyes? Bouncing a leg? Is he picking at the carpet or rug?

Harry is a tired, burdened child.

Show me this!

Now I'm not saying that you can't use adverbs in your dialogue tags. There's a huge difference between "he said softly" and "he whispered." It's about balancing the moment when an adverb says just enough versus an adverb replacing well needed scene enrichment. Let's compare this with a section from my HP time travel fanfiction, Terrible, But Great, Chapter Thirty.

Dumbledore nodded at Monty, pocketing his wand. “Mr. Potter.” “Lo, Professor,” said Monty, pout gone, but still a watchful light in his gaze. “Is there a problem?” asked Dumbledore in a mild tone. Ice slipped in between Tom’s ribs, piercing his flesh. Monty tilted his head. “No, sir.” Oh, but Tom knew better. He could see through that innocent facade. The man could’ve been a Slytherin for how much he was cataloguing every little detail, from Tom’s appearance, to the content of the selected books, and to the supplies of ink, quill, and parchment scattered on the surface of the table. Tom masked the raw, whirling feelings in his chest with a well practiced blank, emotionless expression. He willed himself to hide.  “Nothing at all, sir,” said Tom lightly. “Young Mr. Potter was regaling me about his friendship with Miss Malfoy.” Monty glanced at Tom, brows furrowing. Those blue eyes were piercing, filled with suspicion. “Was he now?” Dumbledore said; though his tone was still without direct accusation, Tom could hear the hint of it. “Then, may I ask, why a silencing charm was necessary for such a benign conversation?” Tom wet his lips. His throat was dry. “I thought it wise to avoid disturbing others in the library.” “I am awfully loud,” said Monty with a sage nod. “Ah. A noble intent. However, it is not an appropriate use of magic in the library,” said Dumbledore, his gaze firm as it bore down on Tom. “Ten points from Slytherin. I think it’d be wise to take your studies to your common room, Mr. Riddle.” “Yes, sir,” whispered Tom.

I only used "said Tom lightly" once in this section to show Tom attempting to be unaffected by Dumbledore's interference. I did not dialogue dump information in giant chunks. I did utilized actions tags versus adverbs, like Monty tilting his head or Tom licking his lips. I suspect that if JKR had written this scene, she'd have used lines like:

"No, sir," said Monty curiously.

or

"I thought it wise to avoid disturbing others in the library," said Tom nervously.

The adverbs that JKR's uses add nothing to her scenes. They're just thrown into them without a thought. Did she even reread this scene after she wrote it? I cringe in agony if I use an uncommon word more than three or four times in an entire 4,000 to 7,000 word chapter, let alone the same adverb five times in three pages. Good grief.

There are two other adverbs used in this page, hastily and bitterly. Hastily does nothing for the scene and is connected to another issue, but I'll go over that in the end. However, bitterly is one of the adverbs I'd keep. It gives us a glimpse into Harry's feelings here. We need more of this, but we got nothing.

Thus, the overuse of adverbs in JKR's dialogue detracts and steals so much from the scene.

Third point: there's too much dialogue and no description whatsoever. Again, the adverbs are a pathetic attempt to give us something, but they're thrown in there without a damn forethought. We're missing the crackle of the fire and the smell of it. We're missing Sirius' facial expressions. We're missing Harry moving around on the floor, fidgeting, yawning, rubbing his eyes, feeling the heat of the fire, bouncing his legs, picking at the rug, something, anything, etc.

The dialogue is bloated with a terribly boring conversation. It's just endless dialogue with nothing else. No, it's awful. Welcome to the fourth bullet point. This scene focuses on the entirely wrong point. This scene is 100% a plot device and it's terribly done as well. It's three pages about Karkaroff being a Death Eater--oh no he might be trying to kill you, Harry, aaaaaa--and something about Bertha Jorkins being near Voldemort's last location. Meh. Who cares. Somebody has been trying to kill Harry in every book thus far. This isn't a new development, sweetie.

We been done know this, okay? Come on.

This is a stilted, unnatural conversation between Harry and Sirius. It's not realistic. It's not normal. Telling Harry about the Karkaroff's past is boring and does nothing for him. One line, maybe two, for Sirius to say, "Hey, keep an eye out for Karkaroff. He's an old Death Eater." Done. End of Karkaroff information. And cut Bertha Jorkins out altogether. I'm sorry, but why the hell are we talking about a dead woman to a 14 year old kid whose biggest problem at the moment is dealing with a jealous friend, school ostracization, and a giant fire breathing lizard???

These points are important to the plot, but they're not important to Harry.

The plot isn't important. No, it's not.

Harry is the POV character.

Harry is the single most important aspect in every scene and should be treated as such.

The plot should weave around Harry, slowly revealing itself to both Harry and the reader. Harry should not be the weaver of the plot. He should not be used in plot devices.

Do you know what part of the conversation was summarized in the prose between Harry and Sirius in a single paragraph versus the three pages about Karkaroff?

Harry talking about how no one believes him about not putting his name in the Goblet of Fire. About the school hating him. About Ron, about his betrayal and his jealousy. About Rita Skeeter. About seeing the dragons as the first task. These are all important to Harry. These all are causing pain to Harry's heart right now. Somebody give this child a hug, please.

We missed out on exploring Harry's feelings here. The author skips the MOST important part of the conversation, what could've been a deeply emotional, either positive or negative, conversation between Harry and Sirius.

Oh, this scene could've been so good. It could've been amazing. There are so many paths that could've been explored here, too.

We could've had a callous Sirius, who doesn't notice Harry's state of being, and just goes on and on about nothing of importance where Harry clams up. Or we've could've had a comforting Sirius, who attempts to give Harry some actual advice about his friendship with Ron. We could've seen Harry opening up in his body language, connecting with this parental figure in his life. We could've heard a story of Sirius' time as a kid at school with Harry's father and the marauders.

We were robbed of an important moment between Harry and Sirius.

Instead, the author puts the focus on the red herring 'foreshadowing' of Karkaroff. What a waste. She's trying to put suspicion on him, rather than Moody/Barty Crouch Jr., the real Death Eater in disguise. Again, who cares. It's not about them. It's about Harry and how his experiences are affecting him. It's about how he reacts to them.

This scene is a waste of time and paper. It's empty of emotion and movement/flow. It's just there for a set up and it's glaringly obvious during a second read of the book.

When I say, "The writing is bloated and underwritten at the same time." this is what I mean. We're focusing on the wrong things here.

Fifth point. JKR breaks the POV character with the following line:

"--and reading between the lines of that Skeeter woman's article last month, Moody was attacked the night before he started at Hogwarts. Yes, I know she says it was another false alarm," Sirius said hastily, seeing Harry about to speak, "but...

Harry is the POV character. Sirius 'seeing Harry about to speak' should NOT be occurring in the prose whatsoever. To fix this with the bare minimum of effort for this poorly written dialogue line:

"--and reading between the lines of that Skeeter woman's article last month, Moody was attacked the night before he started at Hogwarts--" Harry opened his mouth to interject, but Sirius said hastily, "Yes, I know she says it was another false alarm, but..."

I wouldn't write these lines like this, by the way. I just don't want to rewrite this. It's a poor paragraph overall, but this is an example of returning the POV back to Harry. Sirius isn't 'seeing' anything anymore. Harry is doing an action and Sirius reacts to his action.

Breaking POV is a rule that can be occasionally broken, but should be done so with intent and purpose. I'm pretty confident when I say that JKR probably had no idea that this was a mistake on her part in the prose.

All right then.

We have come to an end of Part One in this series. We have dissected a single page and a single scene in JKR's Harry Potter and the Goblet of Fire. The page in question is 333 should you wish to look it up and study the scene yourself.

More to follow because I have lots of pages to go over. This will definitely be series, ah dear.

And so, please do the world the greatest of favors and write better than J.K. Rowling. I promise, it's not that hard once you see the differences.

Until next time.

Isa

#harry potter #hp #fanfiction #fanfic #hp fanfic #hp fanfiction #harry potter discourse #harry potter books #jk rowling #fuck jkr #anti jkr #jk rowling is a terrible writer series by isalise #on writing #writing #writers #writer #authors #author #writing advice #writing stuff #becoming better at writing #writer stuff #writeblr #writers on tumblr #writerscommunity #creative writing #JKR's Terrible Amateur Writing Series

[n0tamused]

hi!! i saw that your requests are open so i just wanted to ask if you could write fluffy relationship headcanons of mortefi and aalto with a gn!reader in mind? these two are just so lajdxhanflvksjahsbxjs i really like them a lot <3 (which is why mortefi pls come home pspspspsspsps)

also, i really love your writing!! it induces serotonin and dopamine in me bc 1) characters feel really accurate, 2) the flow and how you write each scene is so smooth and beautifully descriptive, and 3) dialogue feels realistic and natural!! anyways, have a good day!!

A/N: First Aalto request-! Your wish is my command, anon! And thank you so much for your sweet words, they really made my day and reassured me with my writing :) I do hope this can make you happy too, enjoy! <3 And you have a good day too!<3

Aalto:

-Let me say this first- this man has energy for both of you and Encore, he is extroverted so you can rest assured that if you’re not in the mood for much talking that he has you covered. Don’t want to talk to someone? He is talking for you. Don’t feel like running to the store to buy something? He is already getting his boots on. 

-Despite having the energy of being too open, discretion flows through his blood and he would never say anything you wouldn’t like him saying to anyone else. You could say you pushed someone down the stairs and he’d be sitting opposite of you like “oh! okay!” and then pretends he never heard of it

-On the topic of that, if you ever need any information, he is your man to turn to, and all information may be yours for the discounted price of 3 kisses, maybe more if he’s feeling cheeky.

-Loves teasing you and getting into playful banter, it’s the sweetest thing to him. Playful insults too, but if you pretend to be hurt, he comes up to you to “kiss the hurt away” and he just babies you until you break character. If he, by accident, really does hit a nerve he drops the play and apologizes quickly, and would probably feel bad about it for longer than he’d let on, but you’d know by the abundance of gifts and the fact he wants to do about everything for you 

-He also loves to get a little rough,  nothing serious but along with the verbal banter he likes a little bit of a tussle. Interlacing your fingers and pushing and pulling, laughing along with you until one of you loses your balance or yields. Loves to playfight with you in bed too, before you two go to sleep until he traps you in an embrace that you’ll have to fall asleep in

-He can be a pretty hard sleeper, so good luck trying to get out of his hold. He can be easy to wake, he has a sixth sense for danger too

-Despite his big and extroverted demeanor, sometimes he wishes for nothing more but an evening of silence with his head in your lap, sighing softly as you card your fingers through his hair, smiling if you decide to kiss his forehead

-Encore is your big bonding point. She comes with Aalto like a bonus package, and as chaotic as she can be she is really sweet and loves whoever uncle Aalto trusts enough to be his partner

-Sometimes she stays over, and a lot of times you can see her indulge in making little trinkets, some of them which are for you, some for others

-Even at her young age she has lots of stories to share, and her and Aalto make one hell of a story-teller duo

-Aalto does need to go out to business a lot, and sometimes it takes him days to get what he was sent out to do, and in all that time he misses his home (you) greatly

-He can’t guarantee to send you letters in this time period, as even a small mistake can mean doom of his mission, but he does promise to try, if only to lessen your own worries

Mortefi:

-A relationship Mortefi isn’t difficult, and it can be classified as quite the low maintenance. This does not mean he doesn’t love you or give you your due attention and love, it’s just that both of you are busy with your work and separate lives. You two just seem to never lose that spark no matter how much time you spend apart

-He never liked the idea of combining his love life and work life together into one big mess, he knows it carries its own risks and distractions, and in his field of science that is dangerous. And with this his time management between work and you is impeccable 

-He is there for you when you need him, and his love language is mainly acts of service.

-Words aren’t his forte and he can find it difficult to express his love, he still tries. Perhaps not with his own lips, but he looks for symphonies of his feelings in other songs and melodies before he shows you the one that encapsulates all he feels towards you

-He is the sort of person to send you random article links, be it about something aimed to improve your health, or links to poems or songs. Just drops them or hoards them in your chats..

-Mortefi is a bit sensitive to smells, he really doesn’t like strong odors unless it's those antiseptic chemicals that keep his lab sparkly clean. So he doesn't wear any strong colognes either. It’s the softer smells he wears, musky with woody accents mmmm

-He is a clean freak and can get a bit snappy if he finds his lab messy due to some subordinate’s negligence or if he doesn’t have time to tidy up his home

-He starts huffing and puffing like a mother hen as he stomps around throwing everything into place, tucking every corner back into its place meticulously

-He cleans his own things, and a lot of times goes to tidy your own things since he’s already at it, and really doesn’t like seeing any sort of mess, small or big

-Does gently remind you to pick up after yourself, whether you’re with him and even more so if you’re not with him

-He is an organized hoarder. He has a whole shelf for his little things, some he made and some he got or found while on field expeditions. He is more than happy to tell you about them if you’re curious about their origins or purpose

-He can sometimes spend a lot of time in the office in his home, working on little projects for the kids that would visit the lab soon, and other time he also spends working on gifts for you

-One of the ways he shows his love to you, besides little practical devices, utility belts and multi purpose watches and compasses, is to make you deserts.

-Sweet treats are his specialty but if you he hears you are craving something savory he does know a few recipes that might be to your liking

-Knows how to whip up a bomb medicinal soup btw, that thing can regrow your limbs I’m sure

-Loves to kiss your nape a lot. Especially in those quiet moments when you’re doing something at home and he just comes up behind you, kissing your nape gently and inhaling your scent

-Loves to kiss your head too. It’s just so practical but also shows how tender he can be, how careful and tender his love is. If you’re hugging him he just turns his head and plants his lips to your temple or the top of your head, sometimes he’d lean in and whisper something sweet to you too

Ⓒ n0tamused. Do not repost, translate, edit, and/or copy any of my works. Likes, comments, and reblogs are appreciated.

#-dragon.treasure #aalto #aalto x reader #aalto x you #aalto x gn reader #aalto wuthering waves #mortefi #mortefi x reader #mortefi x you #mortefi x yn #aalto x yn #mortefi wuthering waves #wuthering waves #wuthering waves x you #wuthering waves x reader #wuwa #wuwa x reader #wuwa headcanons #aalto headcanons #mortefi headcanons #wuwa aalto

[megistusdiary]

giving tighnari an aphrodisiac while you’re hanging out so he’ll sleep with you cause you have a bit of a huge crush on him, but you severely miscalculate how long it’ll last for so you end up stuck underneath him, pussy aching from his neverending thrusts and his cum flowing out, telling you how much he’s in love with you and your cunt and hoping that this never ends. mission accomplished?

ok sorry i have been gone so long. i actually just finished a monster of a chem report and i am in the mood to write so lets do this >:)

this turned out really long my god- i got really into meaningless plot and dialogue i am so sorry, there's like 1 minute of smut.

also, because i like to keep it consensual, we are gonna say tighnari was already dtf and he knew exactly what those petals do 😏

warnings: rough-dom!tighnari and sub!fem anatomy/pronouns reader

aphrodisiac usage (reader didn't know it was an aphrodisiac she gave tighnari), overstimulation, a lot of cum (unsafe sex 👎), biting, mating press, friends to lovers 🥵🥵, fingering/oral, also mentions of venti because he is your mondstat friend but he is wild

"and you're sure this is legit?" you asked, brows furrowing as you observed the petals in your palm.

"of course i'm sure, are you seriously doubting a professional?" venti grinned as you pursed your lips. "guaranteed to make even the most stoic swoon." venti pressed his hand to his forehead dramatically.

"alright, alright, i trust you." you carefully pocket the preserved blooms as venti eagerly bounces on his heels. you sigh deeply. "okay, one bottle on me, but that's it- diluc charges an arm and a leg these days."

it had been about a week since that conversation on your last day in mondstat. you originally went for research purposes and catching up with some old friends. sure, you expected a few souvenirs but not 'love blooms.'

you inspected the petals on your desk, trying desperately to focus on your reports.

when you told venti about your little (massive) crush on tighnari, venti was delighted to help you in the most venti way possible. by offering you flowers that make your crush fall in love with you.

because what other advice would that bard give?

you had your doubts, but part of you was intrigued to find out if they were real. you didn't want to test the tea on just anyone in case these blooms really did have some magic in them. or maybe you were just overthinking this. what if-

a soft knock on the wood of your door stirred you from your thoughts as you jumped up from your desk, knocking some of your papers off the surface.

"come in!" you call out, seeing tighnari peek his head around the corner of the wall. "tighnari! what are you doing here?"

tighnari greeted you with a small wave, carrying a basket in his arms. "i apologize for intruding so late, i originally meant to drop this off earlier. but you were asleep when i came by, and i didn't want to disturb you." tighnari smiled sheepishly, and you missed the soft blush dusting his cheeks in the low light from your lamp.

"oh, that's fine! it's great, no worries." you laughed awkwardly. "so, what's in there?" you pointed at the basket as he carefully opened the top.

"collei made it for you. she was feeling good this week, said it was the cooler weather and fresh air. she collected some herbs and fungi, and i think some tea leaves she received from a friend visiting liyue." tighnari mumbled, sifting through the contents.

"tell her i said thank you-"

"you could always come over and tell her yourself, you know. being a messenger is hard work for a forest ranger." tighnari teased.

you smiled at him fondly, shaking your head. it wasn't that you didn't want to visit, on the contrary. you were just terrified of embarrassing yourself in front of tighnari and collei.

"well, i am free tomorrow afternoon, if that's an okay time?"

"sure, i would check with collei first, but i'm positive she's already asleep." he hummed, ears flicking atop his head.

you let the quiet linger for a moment before you cleared your throat. "since you came all this way, would you like to stay for some tea?" you suddenly panicked, reminding yourself it was almost dark out, and tighnari would surely want to go back home as soon as possible. "well, i mean, it's late, so that was a stupid thing for me to suggest. sorry."

"actually, if you don't mind having me, i would love to share some tea. i didn't bring anything to drink on the trek here, and i am embarrassed to admit i'm a bit parched." tighnari's tail curled up as you nodded.

"sure! have a seat, anywhere you like- just maybe not on the chair with all my stuff on it, sorry for the mess." you awkwardly shuffled towards the kitchen, pulling the kettle out to start boiling a pot of water.

and then, the wicked little voice of venti popped into your mind.

now would be the perfect time to test out those petals.

you blinked twice, eyes shifting over to your desk where the petals sat. you smacked your cheeks, shaking your head.

no, that would be a bad idea. you don't even know if they're legit. and what if they're actually poison. can you ever really trust venti's judgement with love potion flowers?

you took a deep breath, instead focusing on rummaging through your cabinet, allowing tighnari to slink around your room unnoticed.

he smiled softly as he gazed at your handwriting. it slowly got sloppier as time went on, hand cramping from writing page upon page.

the ink bottle he had purchased for you from inazuma sat on your desk, almost empty. he made a mental note to purchase more the next time he had the chance.

you had lined up your favorite pens and quills on the desk, your notebooks at the side, scratches and rips on the cloth covers, and-

petals?

tighnari arched an eyebrow, glancing over to where you were in the kitchen, busy with digging for decent tea leaves.

he carefully picked the package up, bringing it up towards his face to waft the scent into his nose.

familiar and sweet. the saccharine petals had an aroma he had smelled before, though not from any plants in sumeru. it seemed familiar, like something from mondstat. perhaps he had read about it. something about legends.

tighnari frowned, deep in thought, tail bristling when he finally remembered. of course, mondstat tales of lovers. these flowers brought good luck for couples and those attempting to court their desired partners.

but why would you have them unless-

unless you were trying to court someone? tighnari frowned deeper at that thought.

his ears perked up as he heard you close the cabinets, walking into the room as he quickly situated himself on a chair, neatly folding his tail across his lap.

"sorry it took so long!" you smiled awkwardly. "it's brewing now, it'll just be a few minutes."

"take your time, don't stress yourself out over tea." tighnari shook his head, mentally cooing at your adorable expression when you scratched the back of your neck.

you glanced over at the desk, eyes focused on the petals as you thought of a way to get them without tighnari noticing.

of course, the minute you glanced away, he knew.

and that must mean-

you intended to use them on him? oh, tighnari wished he could say something.

but oh, was he intrigued to see where this path would lead...

and so, he conveniently stood up, excusing himself to the restroom and allowing you to rush and add the petals to the tea. he could hear you clumsily dumping them into his cup, crushing them up.

it was almost endearing in a way to think you wanted to use a love potion on him. how could you not realize you had tighnari wrapped around your finger.

if you had asked tighnari sweetly enough to visit mondstat with you, he would have. if you asked tighnari for another inazuman ink bottle, you'd have one by the next morning. if you asked tighnari to carry you back to his home to visit with collei, he would be more than happy to find a way to do so.

he waited just long enough for you to figure out the petal situation before walking out, adjusting his hair and tail. "oh, is the tea ready?"

"yes, you have perfect timing as always it seems." you laughed as tighnari sat down across from you.

you lifted the kettle, carefully pouring two cups of tea, setting the kettle down and moving his cup to his side. "there we go. i hope you like it- when i was in mondstat i got some flowers for the tea. my friend says they're supposed to be very sweet, and they make tea smooth." you lied through your teeth, praying to the archons that this love spell somehow did work.

you watched as tighnari lifted the cup to his lips, blowing on the liquid before tasting some. it was indeed sweet, unlike most of the bitter brews he makes. "it's very good. a unique sugary taste. maybe i'll have to visit mondstat myself." tighnari hummed, taking larger sips of the tea and watching as your eyes grew comically wide.

"wow, i'm glad you like it so much!" you raised your cup to your lips, feigning a sip as tighnari pretended not to notice. you brushed the hair away from your face, feeling hot as tighnari leaned in closer towards you.

your lips parted, though no words came out as tighnari's nose touched yours. "can i ask you something?"

"anything." you breathed out.

"did you really feel the need to give me a love potion? isn't it obvious i already like you?"

your mouth dropped as you scrambled backwards. "what- i, no, no i didn't- well...it's not what you think, i'm so sorry-"

"i'm not." tighnari shrugged, downing the cup. "i was waiting for you to realize how much i care for you. it isn't easy coming all the way here, you know. especially when it's dark. it isn't easy getting inazuman commodities or fancy sweaters from snezhnaya, you know."

tighnari's words made your face feel hot as you pressed your palms to your cheeks. "why didn't you just say something before?"

"because you're cute when you're flustered." tighnari admitted, surprised at his own boldness. maybe those petals really were affecting him differently due to his anatomy?

you let out a gasp, watching tighnari slowly approach you, crawling closer, almost like a predator stalking his prey.

"tighnari-" you called out to him, feeling him lean over you. his body was warm, radiating heat as you suddenly shook out of your stupor. "tighnari, you feel really hot- i mean warm! you must be sick or something, oh archons, what if i poisoned you. stupid, stupid, i knew i shouldn't have trusted venti." you tried to pull tighnari up, yet he wouldn't budge, instead firmly gripping your chin and tilting your head to look him in the eyes.

"i can tell that love potion isn't doing what you thought it would hm?" tighnari dragged his thumb across your lip, feeling you lean closer to him. "i planned this whole trip to confess to you, honestly. but i think this is a lot more exciting, don't you?"

"tighnari, i've never seen you like this before." you admitted, eyes starry as you gazed up at him. your thighs rubbed against eachother slightly as tighnari suddenly closed his eyes and groaned.

"fuck, i can smell your arousal." you watched as tighnari's pants slowly formed a tent, ears pressed back to his head.

his eyes opened, looking slightly different than before. he almost seemed feral in a way as he suddenly began tearing off your clothes, claws ripping through fabric as you clung onto his shoulders.

he pressed feverish kisses into your skin, pulling your core down against his lap and rutting against you while stripping your form.

how you ended up on your back, knees pressed to your chest was anyone's guess.

you had already come once from him fingering you, licking at your clit and rubbing against your g-spot in the most perfect way, sending you over the edge quickly.

now, he had you underneath him, cock pushing in and out of you at such a rapid pace it had your head spinning. tighnari was mumbling under his breath, almost growling as he fucked into you harshly, heavy balls slapping against your skin.

you cried out for him, tightening as he came deep inside of you. it was thick, dripping out of your hole as you tried to take shallow breaths, gasping as he suddenly started moving again. "what-"

"oh, someone miscalculated their dosage, hm?" tighnari laughed, pressing down harder on the backs of your thighs and fucking you with fervor, grinding into your sweet spot until he had you coming around his cock, trembling beneath him.

he gave you barely any time to recover, playing with your clit and fucking you faster as you sobbed for tighnari, body teetering between extreme pleasure but overstimulation.

you cried out his name, feeling his teeth press along the column of your neck. you arched, allowing him full access to the skin as he hummed his approval, biting down into your skin with the intent of leaving his mark.

you felt him collect the mix of your cum leaking around his dick before coming back to play with your clit, feeling your body shake as he threw you into another orgasm that sent him into his own, filling you up again. his cum leaked out from your hole, though he tried to use his dick to plug it up inside you.

tighnari growled, discontented with the way his cum flowed out of you. "it has to stay in there-" he huffed, beginning to fuck you again as you whined.

"tighnari, wait! slow down- i-"

tighnari silenced you by pressing a deep kiss onto your lips. "it's okay, dear. it's alright. you can take it, i know you can. be a good girl." he smiled, pressing deeper into you, gripping your body and leaving indents from his nails as he grinned wickedly. "good girl."

#genshin impact #genshin smut #genshin impact smut #genshin impact x reader #genshin x reader #genshin impact x reader smut #tighnari #tighnari x reader #tighnari smut #tighnari x y/n #tighnari x you #💌─𝘢𝘳𝘪𝘴 𝘩𝘢𝘴 𝘮𝘢𝘪𝘭! ༊*·˚ #✎─𝘥𝘪𝘢𝘳𝘺 𝘦𝘯𝘵𝘳𝘪𝘦𝘴 ❛ ༉‧₊˚

[alchely]

My Top Gallavich fics

So, under the advice of the lovely @iangallagherisadeadman I've decided to compile a favorites Gallavich fic list along with a brief rec of each, this won't be a strict top 10 cause I'm not gonna torture myself into excluding some of these stories on some made-up self imposed arbitrary rules.

A bunch of disclaimers: most of these fics are long fics, going from 30k words up, I'm not purposefully excluding shorter fics, I have read plenty of them, but they do have a harder time sticking in my head months after reading.

Most of these fics will be explicit, just read the tags on the fic itself if you want to find out more.

Some of these fics don't have links because the authors chose to lock them and as such make them unlinkable, in order to read them you will need to go through the author's page while you're logged in your AO3 account.

This ended up ballooning out of control and is A LOT longer than ten fics, I apologize in advance :p.

YOU'LL NEVER SEE US AGAIN – spoonfulstar - 231k words

Mickey and Ian have been students at Marceline boarding school their whole lives, as their time at the institute draws toward the end they will start to discover many things, about themselves, about each other and about the world they live in.

THIS FIC! I CRIED! The number of fanfiction that are able to make me cry can be counted on a singular hand, the emotional stakes get higher and higher as the story goes on, leading to a beautiful and bittersweet climax.

This story will make you think and feel deeply about topics you'd never think a shameless fic would delve into.

I am obsessed with Mickey in this fic, he and Ian grow up in an environment that could not be more removed from South Side Chicago and yet his personality is still so recognizably and distinctly Mickey.

The story goes very dark at times, and the fic itself could be considered lengthy, but I assure you the author has made sure to not make you feel it. Those 200k words flowed so well the story did not feel long at all.

HELP ME (TEAR DOWN MY REASON) – wehangout - 34k words

Mickey is a detective and Ian becomes a suspect in an investigation except Mickey already knows him because he's his favorite dancer.

This fic falls under the umbrella of fics where “Mickey is so in love with Ian he does something unbelievably crazy”.

Oooh boy, this fic, it's written in second person (yes you've read that right), tbh out of all fics I've read from this author I think this one was the easiest to adjust mentally to the change in perspective.

I loved Mickey’s “love” in this, just… This raw connection to Ian, the perfect cocktail of feelings, I could read that all day long.

IN ANOTHER WORLD – Roryonic - 249k words

Mickey does not get sent to prison at the end of S5, what happens after and how his presence influences future events (mostly Ian, but also every other Gallagher as well as his own family).

As far as I'm concerned this fic is the closest to a perfect S6 and beyond fix-it. The dialogue writing in this story is so close to canon Shameless that I could picture entire scenes in my head with the actors playing the characters, with their body and personality quirks.

Sometimes I find myself describing this fic like it's the actual show's deleted scenes, “Look, Mickey has his own storyline! And Mandy is here! And the existence of Yevgeni does not become a plot hole!”

There are some Mickey lines in this fic that to me are as canon as if they'd been in the show. Absolutely iconic writing.

I love this author so here's a rec of some of their other longfics, however I highly suggest a lot of their other much shorter stuff as well:

BATTLESHIPS AND LOVE BOATS: Ian and Mickey start their “no strings attached” kind of sex relationship a little later than canon but their attraction and love is just as strong. This is a sort of High School AU that turns into a Prison AU that turns into something else and every shift is just as lovely as the next.

YOU SMELL LIKE LOVE: Ian and Mickey are childhood friends, to the point that the rest of the Gallaghers might as well consider Mickey a seventh brother, mmmh, I sure wonder how things will start to change. Look, I never thought I'd love a childhood friends AU for Gallavich yet here I am, if it's good it's good.

ME AND THE DEVIL: Mickey unconsciously calls for a vengeance demon and Ian Gallagher shows up at his door, because Mickey is a stubborn dumbass they fall in love instead. This story has a lot of twists and turns and the premise is only the very beginning of the story. I LOVED it!

THE INCREASINGLY POOR DECISIONS OF IAN GALLAGHER – Shamelessquestions - 309k words

Ian is a dancer in a club, he accidentally gets involved in the affair of a dangerous mafia don, but the true danger is the attraction he and the mafioso’s right hand Mickey feel for each other as soon as they meet.

What. A. Classic. Truly, an unforgettable story, and I don't mean this in hyperbole, I read this story around… 2016/2017 during my second round in the Shameless fandom, then I read countless other fics in a lot of other fandom and yet this story was the only one that my mind retained from back then, to the point that I could still remember some of the finer details as well as the final plot twists when I came back to reread it.

The plot is constructed beautifully and the original characters (part of the Shamelessquestions fanfiction universe, as they come back time and time again in every one of their AU to fulfill their role in the story) are just as vibrant.

What a story, truly.

Favorite original character in this AU: Sal, his downfall is so satisfying and yet so pitiful to read.

TEENAGERS SCARE THE LIVING SHIT OUT OF ME – Mellow_Yellow - 221k words

Ian finds something scary and calls Mickey for help, even though they had only reconnected that very day after two years of not seeing each other. Together, they get sucked into a situation they weren't at all prepared for. Can they even admit that they're in over their head?

The very beginning of this fic is SO cinematic it grabbed my interest from the very first scene and didn't let go until the end, DO NOT search for spoilers.

The only warning I'll give is that it does deal with a bit of gore and what I'm personally gonna define as slight psychological horror. That's it. Enjoy!

BROKE STRAIGHT BOYS – dancermk - 66k words

Mickey becomes a porn actor for a site where he has to pretend he's straight and not enjoying the copious amount of gay sex he's having on camera, enter Ian, another actor under the same agency and their off the chart physical chemistry.

This story has, needless to say, some really, really good smut. I especially loved their first time together, but every sex scene in this story is seared in my mind.

ETHERIZED AGAINST THE SKY – Snarfle - 213k words

So, I debated whether I should add this fic or not, but I think if there is one fic that will stay in my mind long after this Shameless binge of the past couple of months it's this one, and it should absolutely become one of those fic that everyone in the fandom should read.

After Mickey gets shot by Kash his life takes a completely different direction and he ends up in a group home where, through many difficult times, he turns his life around.

So many iconic moments in this fic, some funny as fuck, some sad, some so absurd that I'm surprised they weren't lifted straight from Shameless, one so gruesome in the very first chapter that I was surprised to have such a visceral feeling from just words on a screen. Yeah, this story will stay with me for a long time.

OLD RULES FOR NEW SIDE PIECES – Shamelessquestions - 217k words

Ian is a Fed and he spots Mickey looking suspicious in an art museum, the mutual attraction is overwhelming, Mickey is not what he seems and Ian is already with someone else, but that's not gonna stop him from pursuing what he and Mickey have.

Putting it as bluntly as I can, this fic made me face the realization that I love cheating fics (if the cheating happens to someone else to bring together the endgame couple). I have already reread this fic twice and I could probably go for another one and not get tired of it, it's that good, and out of all this author's fics it's probably my favorite.

Favorite original characters in this AU: It's a three way tie between Dre, Ivan and Carrie, they're all very captivating in this story.

Other fic from this author I'd recommend cause I really love their style:

LOST IN TRANSLATION: Ian meets a very attractive man while he's in Ukraine who doesn't speak English, a mere language barrier won't stop him from flirting for hours. (adorable)

YOU MAKE ME FEEL HUMAN – Dragona - 66k words

Ian is an assassin, he meets Mickey and thus begins a very sick love story.

To say I'm obsessed with this fic is an understatement, I suggest to everyone to just go read the original author’s own description of the fic, it sets the tone of the story magnificently.

This is an Ian Gallagher that almost resembles Jerome (also played by Cameron in Gotham) but like… a slightly more subdued and saner S1/S2 version of him. I love the layers that get peeled right in front of my eyes, the madness that creeps in a bit more every chapter. I LOVE this story.

DRIED INK - 87k words

This fic combines my two favorite Gallavich-specific tropes, one being ‘Mickey comes back from prison after s6, Ian is with someone else’ and ‘Ian cheats on that someone else for Mickey’

I love the Gallaghers in this and how unsurprised they are at Ian going back to Mickey right away. It's a little jewel of a fic.

Mickey tries SO hard to stop himself and Ian in this but their love is too magnetic, they're irresistible to each other.

THE QUESTION OF NORMAL – blue_newman - 92k words

Ian is a prison counselor, Mickey is in prison, they fall in love and it's beautiful and Ian is incredibly devoted to Mickey in this fic and I fell in love with them both in this.

KINDA RAW – catgrassplantdad - 6k

Quite simply this is my favorite short pwp fic.

Illustrating those “five times” in one night that Mickey references in 11x01.

This fic is so hot, I love it <3

QUATERVOIS – DodgerBear - 51k words

Soldier Mickey gets stationed in the middle of nowhere and meets a farmer called Ian who makes him question everything.

Falling under the same umbrella of “Mickey does something crazy for Ian” fics and this is why it stuck in my mind even if it's been a while since I've read it.

I LOVE this story, their dialogues and everything that happens in it. The setting is lovely and you will fall in love with the description of Ian’s farm.

Other fic by the same author that I also loved:

BURDEN OF PROOF: Cop Mickey gets caught in a legal battle between the two oldest Gallagher brothers, something doesn't feel right though…

THE WORDS HE DOESN'T SAY: Mickey is released before Ian in s10 and has to meet a court-mandated therapist. The story is from the therapist POV and goes AU from the beginning of s10 in that Mickey gets involved back into Yev and Svetlana’s life, the dialogue is, quite obviously, the main attraction of the story and it's really well done. (Also, written in first person).

THE MENAGERIE – CrossMyDNA - 147k words

Ian decides to re-explore his bdsm preferences at The Menagerie where he meets sub extraordinaire Mickey on his very first visit.

Shameless is undoubtedly the fandom that opened my eyes to what bdsm could be back in… approx 2016? When that other popular bdsm fic was still around *ahem*.

So it definitely feels like a sign that coming back into the fandom this fic now exists and is SO GOOD.

Obviously it's very explicit, the smut in this fic is one of the best I've ever read.

The chemistry between Ian and Mickey sizzles off the screen and can absolutely be felt even in moments not of the nsfw variety, absolutely recommended!

MICKEY MILKOVICH’S GUIDE TO FLIRTING – whatwouldmickeydo - 40k words

An s2 “missing moments” between Gallavich, completely canon compliant, all under the pretense that Mickey is following a step by step guide to flirting.

I wish this fic was describing canon moments, not kidding a single bit, I wish I could somehow magically manifest these scenes into existence they're that good and fit that well into canon.

M8TE – gallawitch - 53k words

Omegaverse fic where Ian and Mickey both start using an app and end up matching with each other, even though a connection is made almost instinctively, coming to terms with it with a sound mind will take a bit longer…

Hey,had to have at least one of these on here lol

I love omegaverse and this was everything I wanted from it, couldn't have asked for anything better really <3.

SHACKLED – MyRelapse - 19k words

Ian has a change of heart and he decides that Mickey IS the one he wants, even if he's still in prison, so he keeps in contact and goes through every hoop imaginable to have him back as soon as possible.

Reading this made me so happy like I could burst, love it.

WAITING ON MY OWN TOO LONG – Ride4812 - 266k words

This rec more than any other on this list is what I'm gonna consider self indulgent because it covers the trope I always craved to read in such a satisfying way: Canon AU where Mickey comes back from prison after 8 years, Ian has found someone else but the moment the two meet again they fall back into each other right away.

The series is made up of 4 smaller fics:

One more night

Something more this time

No more lonely nights

Ain't this life so sweet

(I will point out here and nowhere else that the last installment of this series has some segment that probably needed to be re-read a couple more times, but by that point I was too invested, and the quality fluctuates a lot only in certain parts)

The writing style is very direct and to the point, which I love, the smut is very present and written beautifully and most importantly never boring.

Ian is a MESS in this fic and had me Stressed™, mostly cause for some reason I can't handle too much casual depiction of drug abuse and addiction (I know, ironic considering the fandom).

Conflicts and resolutions are never clean cut, they don't necessarily resolve quickly or definitely or the way you probably imagine they should and I find this level of realism very satisfying.

Taking a bit of space here at the end to also rec a couple other Ride4812 fics that I also loved:

COUP DE FOUDRE - A model/photographer AU where Ian and Mickey fall in love the instant they meet and do some crazy things because of that.

HOPE HE MIGHT - A lawyer AU where Ian and Mickey are on opposing sides for the same client, an interesting murder mystery steeped in a religious cult.

Generally I feel like this author is really good at depicting just how unapproachable Mickey can be to anyone that isn't called Ian Gallagher and I eat it up every time.

WHAT THE NIGHT DOES TO THE DAY – andchaos - 9k words

A Gallavich childhood friends AU with a quite original arrangement for the story and the various segments of their lives. Very satisfying read.

RANSOM – BeckyHarvey29 - 112k words

Terry sends his sons to kidnap a Gallagher child to force Frank into paying back the money he owes, unfortunately for him Mickey and his brothers kidnap Ian, and a whole other kind of story unfolds.

Mickey and Ian falling in love in this fic is such a good read. I don't wanna spoil anything of how that or the kidnapping plot goes, since the two are so intertwined. Just know that it will be worth it.

UNDER LOCK AND KEY – Suzy_Queue - 106k words

Ian is assigned the night shift at his new job where he provides spare keys to his fellow college students stuck outside their dorm rooms. To make matters worse his shift coworker is the oh so infamous Mickey Milkovich.

I am magnetized by the way this author writes their pining for each other, their attraction and obsession, how it blooms and unfolds. This fic in particular had me develop a very bad case of tunnel vision, couldn't really turn away until I finished reading it all.

I still haven't read everything this author has to offer, but so far I also loved:

INHUMAN: A mysterious force starts attacking people close to Mickey and it all seems to lead to a mysterious redhead Mickey is oh so coincidentally obsessed with. Very cool paranormal story.

THESE FOOLISH GAMES: Mickey takes over as the boss of the local branch of a trampoline park, where Ian is one of the employees, they annoy each other to no end but what they don't know is that they're secretly texting each other.

IS THERE SOMEWHERE – andchaos - 48k words

Mickey is born with no words on his skin, convinced he's going to live a life of misery cause no one will ever say the words he's destined to hear, he's not a very happy guy. Here comes mute boy Ian who crashes into his life and won't let go.

A classic Soulmate AU, I love that like in a lot of other Gallavich fics their physical connection and compatibility usually comes before their emotional one, it is one aspect that I feel distinguishes their relationship to many other fandom’s ships.

LAST NIGHT AT THE VERONA GRAND HOTEL – the_rat_wins - 27k words

Mickey starts working at an ancient hotel who's supposedly haunted. Mickey doesn't believe in ghost stories, he is much more interested in this one guest he meets at night during his shift.

What a cinematic experience this fic is! Absolutely recommended, the length of it makes it so you can read it in the same time it would take to watch the same story in movie format.

Other fics by the same authors that have impressed me:

FADE THIS ONE TO BLACK: Ian dies of overdose in a pile of snow outside the club, when Mickey finds him there he vows to do anything to get him back.

I don't know why but this fic in particular gives off the vibes of being a pilot for a ya urban fantasy TV series, except we gotta imagine everything that comes after the first episode lol

NO LIE: Ian and Mickey are Soulmates and as such they can't lie to each other. This series is short and sweet and full of feelings, perfect

PARAGRAPHS – pink_ink - 100k words

Ian becomes a reading tutor for ex-convicts, Mickey is among them and Ian starts paying him more and more attention.

This is a story where they meet under very different circumstances and where they've lived slightly different lives compared to canon and yet they're still able to find each other in the end.

Also, sign me up for every fic where Ian has to work just as hard to help Mickey and care for him as the opposite, where Ian's brand of stubbornness is the only way to get through to Mickey.

I'm also adding a couple of ongoing fics, just two to not overwhelm too much.

NONE THE WISER – Loftec - ~218k words

Ian starts visiting Mickey’s diner, it takes a while and yet no time at all to warm up to each other.

I'm captivated by the author's writing style. I love Ian's and Mickey’s relationship. I love how they sort of take their time and yet pine helplessly for each other.

I'm obsessed with the fact that the whole point of the fic doesn't appear until two thirds of the way in cause the diner scenes were just too good to pass up on lol (and I 100% agree with them).

INTRO TO QUANTUM DATING – spoonfulstar - ~563k words

Canon Mickey and Ian meet in University. A college slice of life but drenched in the casual (and not so casual) darkness of canon shameless.

The dark humor in this is fenomenal and left me gasping laughing so many times.

Unexpectedly Ian in this fic is pursuing a linguistics oriented degree, which was what I studied when I tried university, the topics are explained in such an accurate way I have to assume the author studied them themselves and that this story is somewhat a reimagining of their own college experience because if not this would be an absurd amount of accurate research to make.

Reading this fic feels like living through the American college experience from the comfort of my home lol.

As I said before, this author's way of writing does not weight you down even with its length, the story flows perfectly from one scene to the next and before you realize it you've reached the end and you have to accept that 500k words weren't even enough.

Let's end this list with some quick recommendations

WHILE WE'RE MAKING OTHER (PEOPLE'S) PLANS - kyasticlikestea

Mickey is volunteered to organize someone's else's wedding after he managed to salvage his own so well, he'll do it, but his own Southside way.

THIS IS THE ROAD TO RUIN - bricoleur10

Ian and Mickey never go to rob Ned, the story unfolds differently from there. A fix-it with a lot of Gallavich longing , very good smut and some really good dialogue.

HEY, HONEY MINE (I WAS THERE ALL THE TIME) - serveteas

Mickey talks about his crush with Iggy and accidentally pronoun-slips. Short, to the point, funny af and I just really love it. Takes place after their fight at Kash’n Grab in s2.

AGAINST GLASS - AllThatMatters

Ian gets traded from one club to another as a dancer (and more) and ends up in the Milkovich family's club. This is a Mafia!Mickey story with some pretty tight sub-plots, I love his brothers in this.

ONE OF A KIND - fckyeahgallavich

Mickey breaks his finger and it has to be set in the hospital, chaos - of the homophobic kind - ensues. Protective!Ian, I wanna hug Mickey in this.

IAN THE FRIENDLY GHOST - Ravenheart

Ian is haunting an apartment and Mickey starts living in it, Ian is maybe starting to have a crush on him. This isn't angsty!

BLOOD IN, BLEED OUT - brewrosemilk, Whatsastory

Historical AU. Perfectly innocent bystander Ian Gallagher is thrown into the affairs of the Ukrainian Mafia back in 1954, his relationship with Mickey will span decades and he won't remain innocent for long, the mafia can corrupt anyone.

TEENAGE RUNAWAY - sadwhales

Ian comes to live and finish high school with his half siblings on the South Side, he's immediately captivated by a boy sitting under the bleachers, maybe his North Side naivety will catch his attention too.

GARDEN SONG - melwrtiesthings

A glimpse into their lives in their West Side apartment, a lot of initial angst due to a manic episode and then a lot of recovery and healing and learning more about themselves.

#gallavich #shameless #Gallavich fic rec #fic rec #ao3 #fic rec taken wayyy too seriously #jesus what is wrong with me #f*ck it I'll just tag this now and deal with the links later #if anyone wants to contribute to the list through tags or comments you are WELCOME ❤️ #my post

[alicerosejensen]

Something about sin. Pt.3

Warning: Age difference, Older!Leon, Reader daughter of another DSO agent, fem.reader, mention of sex, guilt.

A/N: The penultimate part. The second part was chaotic and probably the weakest, but it is what it is. I’m still trying to overcome my chronic fatigue and constant apathy, so if it’s not difficult for you, please write a few kind words if you liked this text.

I still decided that there would be four parts instead of three. The final chapter will probably be smaller in volume, but it will have a lot of dialogues and the resolution of the conflict itself, so I decided that it would be better to write it separately and not in one large text.

Once again, I apologize for the delay in publication, but sometimes our health fails us all.

Part 1

Part 2

And he would burn in hell for all the lust he feels for this lost innocent soul.

Your father would never forgive him for this, just as Leon will not forgive himself for having you in his arms. Albeit of his own free will, but getting out of bed, going to the bath and rinsing his face with cold water, Leon prefers to take all the blame on himself. You are innocent... you were innocent and he stretched out his dirty hands to you, put you into his bed three months after that kiss in the barn and, no matter how disgusting it may sound, slept with you.

The most tender, most precious girl he's ever had of all, he knows that he would have made the same decision every time if God had brought him back to the day he kissed you, allowing himself to desire you. That's why it's nice to come back to bed with you, even if it's soul-destroying from himself.

You destroyed him thoroughly.

You are his sin, a sweet obsession and a mad desire designed to crush all the little that he has managed to build in his hectic life. You mock him, tear him apart so that he pursues you and falls into this sinful ocean of passion without regrets. And Leon can't do anything to himself. He was older than you, almost twice as old, well, that was fine with you. The feeling of comfort and security never left while Leon was around, as if it was something you needed all your life. As he lay back in bed, he replayed your dialogue in his head. It's one thing to kiss while muffling the egregious voice in his own head that it's not worth it, and it's completely another to insert dick into his friend's daughter.

Leon was the first in every way for you and he understood it perfectly without words. It's not that your dad forbade you to date boys, but maybe your father's attention really wasn't enough if you reciprocated his feelings?

"I could be your father… Your father and I are the same age…"

"But still, you're not my father," you smiled then, begging him with puppy eyes to teach you love and move on to something more than ordinary kisses, which of course you were crazy about, but you want to understand what it's like to be with someone you love, even if he's much older than you.

You promised him that you were ready for more, for a new stage, and Leon continued to feel as if he was seducing a young girl, doing something dirty and vicious with you, something against your will. This, of course, was not the case, but the anxiety did not go away. Asking to think about this decision, to weigh everything, led nowhere, and in the end everything happened.

"Are you sure you want this?; Are you sure?; we can stop, sweetie, at any time you want"

His voice, saturated with anxiety, accompanied you throughout your first sex with him, and it was never as described in the books... however, this was not surprising and you knew very well that what is on the pages and in films differs greatly in real life. And yet, it's good that you got Leon and not someone else, because he took care of your feelings, trying to prepare you in such a way as to reduce all discomfort to a minimum: gentle kisses, a prepared bottle of lubricant, long intimacy , careful touches. All his movements were careful and together with you, he essentially got to know your body, trying to help you and himself understand what you would like in sex. he allowed you to touch him, showed how he liked it, smiling, kissing you on the corner of your lips, seeing the embarrassment on your beautiful face.

"My dear, do you remember?" his reminders constantly sounded while his thumb caressed your swollen clit with round movements, "I will stop as soon as you say"

How could you forget? Leon was catching every emotion on your face, afraid to catch the pain, but it was good for you. It's better than if it was a guy your age who didn't give a damn about you. Leon was doing everything right, but he was still a monster in his head. You liked it. There was no blood, none of the things your friends used to scare you with, but you didn't see the stars in the sky either, no matter how funny it sounded. Just because it was the first time and yet Leon left almost a thousand kisses on your face before and after sex. He took you to the shower, gently ran a sponge over your body, washing away all traces of intimacy, wrapped you in a towel and put you back to bed, not forgetting to bring a glass of water. You were sitting on his bed and the man's hands were firmly holding you by the waist while he weightlessly touched the bridge of your nose with his lips asking about your well-being. You could joke that you really feel a little unwell after sex, but seeing your lover's panic, it would be wise not to play him like that, otherwise this could be your first and last sex with him.

"I don't regret it," you said, hoping that it would take some weight off his shoulders.

Leon reassured himself that even if nothing came of this relationship, at least your first man was the one who took care of you and did not run away the next morning, managing to tell his friends about the new notch on bedpost.

.. But yes, now if your father finds out that you've been fucked, then a fist in the nose will be the most merciful thing Leon can ever get. Most likely, it will be an explosion of epic proportions and a shootout worse than Hollywood action movies. What should it tell him? "Buddy, but we can still drink beer and watch football, it's just that now I'm still sleeping with your daughter, whom you've been caring for and cherishing all his life?" This is shit, not an explanation. If his friend had once confessed to him that he was sleeping with HIS daughter, Leon would have killed the bastard and disposed of the corpse so that no evidence would be found. That's just that he is now the main culprit, and he does not want to leave your life when such a charming angel sleeps next to him in bed.

Leon doesn’t want to leave you, but he himself has no idea what outcome his actions will lead to. Hugging and pulling your body while you sleep, he kisses the back of your head, sincerely hoping that you won’t regret what happened between you, that you won’t cry in the morning, calling everything a mistake, but the devil is not as terrible as he is imagined...

A sound sleep was interrupted by caring strokes and soft kisses, although he is not a handsome prince, but he still got a sleeping beauty and it seems that the only thing you were unhappy with sitting with him at the kitchen table was that Leon woke you up too early. Like a gloomy owl with disheveled hair, you try to focus your gaze on coffee and not fall asleep while he says something and you ignore all his speeches until your name is called.

"Did you heard what I said?" and you honestly nod your head negatively to a heavy male sigh.

Trouble obviously doesn't come alone, fortunately you don't cry or curse him, instead you just snuggle up to his back and pull him back into the bedroom to sleep an extra couple of hours with him in your arms like the whole last night.

He was a good man. Not ideal, with his own problems, fears, experiences, but still he continued to care about you more than about himself, so he carefully turned to face you, hugging you, starting to gently rock you to the sides, burying his nose in the top of your head.

"I didn't hurt you, did I?" he asked still anxiously.

"All was good"

With Leon you could relax and trust him, last night he was perfectly prepared and constantly asked if you could continue or if he should stop, and you know that if you said yes, he would immediately end everything without caring about his feelings. The main thing is you! As a result, he treats you like a princess all day long, taking care of you. He even volunteered to comb your hair, which now smelled like his shampoo, and while Leon was fiddling with the comb, at the same time remembering the jokes that your father loves so much, you just laughed and enjoyed the complete adoration of his person.

“I’ll order food for us, and you relax on the couch. Choose the movie you want.”

Not surprisingly, Leon doesn’t know how to cook, he doesn’t have much time to improve this skill, but you don’t expect him to pick you up in his arms and put you on this very sofa, covering your legs with a blanket and handing you the TV remote control. Another girl obviously wouldn’t like it, but not you, although you didn’t feel helpless. There was some discomfort, but nothing scary or that would require consulting a doctor. As a result, the two of you spent another day lying cuddled on the couch, eating pizza, watching, flipping through channels and discussing various things. Despite the age difference, there was no feeling that Leon was some kind of ancient old man walking around with an ancient push-button telephone (although you assured him that there was nothing wrong with that). He smiled, playfully flicking you on the nose and it seems he even exhaled and came to reconciliation with his inner voice, but exactly until the moment when your father called.

And conscience woke up again.

He protected you, he didn't hurt you and took good care of you, Leon is ready as a faithful doggie to accept any thing you ask him, because he is...

It's worth admitting to yourself that this is not an affair because if Leon just wanted to sleep with someone, he went to a bar and found someone who wouldn't mind spending the night with him, and you are something more. He wants to cherish you and shower kisses on your face while you're lying serenely on his couch watching the show. A good excuse for the conscience that was gnawing into his brain and telling him that he was an ordinary son of a bitch, screaming: "Look, you took advantage of the poor girl's naivety. The daughter of your friend who supported you after China! How well did you repay his kindness by dragging his favorite daughter into bed!"

The phone rang but couldn't find the strength to answer.

You asked if everything was okay, to which Leon sighs and answers yes, asking not to worry. And then he gave you his sweater and you curled up next to him and fell asleep without caring about anything, because the thunderstorm with lightning no longer scared you both. And Leon really slept well for the first time in a long time, hugging you to his chest, knowing that when he wakes up he will find you where you fell asleep - with him.

No more notes with lipstick marks or paper airplanes on the nearby pillow. Besides, it’s so nice when you snuggle up to him at night, trying to hug him. Leon allows it. Your hands are much warmer. this makes him fall out of reality when he turns to you, wrapping a blanket around your body and pressing you to him so that you don’t freeze. It can rain outside as long as you like, his phone can ring off the hook with calls all night long, but his lips will still find yours and kiss you tenderly.

The forbidden fruit is very sweet.

For the first time in years, the government agent felt like he had something to treasure. Sometimes he envied your father for the fact that he could return to a cozy home where his beloved wife and daughter were always waiting for him, eat delicious home-cooked food and sleep in bed with his loved one. Not much is needed for happiness, according to Leon, and he would also like to receive this gift. But probably for you it's all just an affair. For children, you are young and he himself is not trying to knock you up. Besides, marriage is a matter that should be approached wisely, and neither you nor Leon are fools, so he doesn’t even console himself with the hope of a future together.

As a matter of fact, the matter is rubbish and Kennedy should not have put you to bed at all. How can he look your father in the eyes after what happened? And you? so Leon again does an even more disgusting thing - he ignores you.

You wrote him several messages, called him a couple of times, but the calls went unanswered, he didn’t even send a tiny message like “Sorry, work. I’ll call you later” or “I’ll call you when I’m free.” Yes, he could at least write something and not remain silent like a fuckboy who fucked half of the college! But you are not intruding, no, but this does not mean that you are not offended and you do not feel that you were simply used. For many months you felt this beautiful love for him, afraid to show it, but when the miracle happened, it turned out that the gingerbread house was not so sweet.

It was a complete failure, which brought you to tears, although you didn’t pester him with calls and messages because you didn’t want to look stupid, like the girls from high school who were chasing guys around. There should still be pride, but do you really have to pretend now that nothing happened between you? Actually, it wasn’t even that bad, right? he looked after you and didn’t throw you out of his apartment after sex; he was sweet and gentle, but no matter how hard you tried to convince yourself of this, the resentment still stuck like a bone in your throat.

Therefore, you locked yourself in a room and did not leave it for hours, and to all the requests of your parents you answered one thing "I feel not well", of course you managed to slip unnoticed into the toilet, but if your father saw this terribly swollen face from tears, then his weapon, which was always hidden from you when you were still a child, risked shooting someone- something in the balls, if your dad found out that the reason was a guy.

Although it would be more correct to say an adult man.

But your nightly sobs did not go unnoticed, and in the end, your dad really wanted to kick someone's ass because his babygirl was constantly crying due to a broken heart.

“If he somehow offended you, just tell me,” he asks, stroking your back soothingly, and you can’t even squeeze out a word, just cry. "And this little piece of shit will remember that he can’t offend my girl."

Your father’s words made you laugh through your tears and calm down a little. Although you were still terribly swollen with a huge nose from which snot flowed every now and then, thanks to the support of your close person, life no longer seems so spoiled. However, no matter how your dad tried to find out the name, you didn’t tell him anything about Leon.

After a couple of weeks, you were even able to calm down and have fun with friends, but still the image of Kennedy kept popping up in your head, haunting you both in your dreams and in reality, despite all your attempts to distract yourself. He never left you a single message, thereby forcing you to draw conclusions.

Your college classes will begin in the fall, so there is not much time left to rest, so you decided to make the most of the rest of the summer, but returning home you clearly hear the sound of cleaning weapons and a painfully familiar voice that raises a wave of anxiety in chest.

"...I swear to God I'll find out who this asshole, Leon." Your heart tries to jump out of your chest when you press your ear to the door of your father’s room where he keeps a gun and other things that are not for your eyes. Leon himself almost doesn’t answer and you honestly don’t even want to face him anymore because the resentment still bites painfully into your throat making your eyes water.

It's not good to eavesdrop, but what could you do with yourself? Part of you hoped that he felt at least some guilt for treating you so badly.

“He’s such an asshole...” Leon says quietly in an unnatural voice. "Definitely deserved the bullet"

Maybe he didn't deserve a bullet after all, your heart is not so cruel as to wish him dead, but you could slap him in the face, although you don't want to see him at all, so carefully moving away from the door, go upstairs to your room and lock yourself in it again hoping that Leon will leave before you get hungry. It took about two hours before stomach growled for food. A bar of chocolate in purse briefly saved the situation, which caused an almost opera orchestra of an empty stomach to resound throughout the room. As luck would have it, a delicious aroma came from the kitchen from below, from which wings almost literally grew behind your back and you flew down to try this freshly baked pasta. Your mom called you to the table a couple of times, but it looks like Leon didn't go anywhere, once again staying at dinner with your family, and how the hell did he end up in the same room with him?!

But you can't tell them that Leon is the guy who dumped you after the first sex.

Therefore, it went downstairs and met his guilty gaze. You didn't say a word to each other at dinner, although Leon asked neutral questions like are you okay? It's a shitty question, actually, and your want to throw this plate at his head so Leon's answer is a simple nod.

Your parents are sure it's about the boy who broke their daughter's heart, but they don't know that this "boy" is right in front of them. That makes Leon even more sick of himself, but what happened was clearly a mistake.

He had no right to drag a young girl into his bed, he had no right to touch you at all, and yet the vicious feeling turned out to be stronger than the mind. And yet Leon thinks you can easily overcome your first crush, because no matter how you look at it, this relationship is hopeless. He will not be able to marry you, will not create a family and the people around him will always condemn and most of their sidelong glances will be directed at you. Damn, your dad took out a loan so you could go to the college of your dreams and fall in love with someone like him, the worst possible idea.

"She'll find a better boyfriend in college," Leon said to your father that afternoon. Although he wanted to bite his tongue, because he didn't want to give you to some brat at all, but his mind kept saying that it would be the right thing to do. You deserve a quiet life, and everyone Leon gets attached to sooner or later leaves. Therefore, this time he decided to leave first. And yet he really acted no better than any jerk when he ignored you and your messages.

Dinner passed in tense silence. Your appetite disappeared and a piece wouldn’t go down your throat, which is why you offered to help your mom put the leftover food into the refrigerator, at the same time running away from Leon because tears were running down your cheeks by themselves. Standing in the kitchen, washing the dirty dishes, you were drowned in your thoughts, realizing that you were again sliding into the deep bottom of self-torture, because of this you did not hear the steps behind you, shuddering in surprise when Leon’s hands carefully placed them on your waist.

"Forgive me" It seems that he himself does not know how to choose the right words, but takes his hands away from you, looking around so that your parents do not hear this conversation "I know I acted like an asshole, but it's not going to work. It's wrong, God, you're old enough to be my daughter, and I don't know what I was thinking when I was doing this with you.

You're silent, turning away from him, continuing to wash the poor plate, and Leon is ready to swear that your silence is a hundred times worse than if you were yelling at him.

"You're so young, good, please... Sweetie, I didn't mean to offend you. Trust me, this was never part of my plans, and when your father told me how you cried all night long... It will pass. You'll find yourself a good guy of the same age, well, maybe he'll be a little older than you by two years or maybe three, well, certainly not more than fifteen years."

You are silent again, putting down a clean plate and starting on another one, standing with your back to him.

"This is the first love... And I gave up on myself. You're a wonderful girl..."

"Is it my age?" You rudely interrupt him: "Am I not experienced enough or am I just disgusting to you?"

Finally you turn around turning off the water with your arms crossed over your chest. But God no, that's not what he meant! If he had his way... if it's not the damn framework that Leon mostly pushes himself into, then he won't admit to himself, but he wants there to be no more men in your life besides him. In an intimate way.

"No, God, no, your inexperience has nothing to do with it at all!" he says and immediately tries to take a deep breath, looking around seeing the shadows of your parents, realizing that he chose the wrong place and time to clarify the relationship. "I mean, I can't give you what you want. Honey, at my age, I can seduce a young girl only with my unlimited account card, but you... You need attention, love and care. You see how often your father is away from home and I'm there even less often. Besides, you still don't understand that it won't lead to anything, it's falling in love, butterflies in your stomach, what else is there... euphoria? Please don't think that the world has come together like a wedge on me. Believe me, I'm the most lame option."

"Is it still about age?" Through a lump in your throat, you said softly, "Not old enough for you? "

"I'm too old for you"

It sounded like a sledgehammer had fallen on your head. You let out a shuddering sigh, turning away from him again, because in fact, in your opinion, there is nothing wrong with this relationship. You are not a teenager, some of your age may even have children, and sometimes such a thought has slipped through your mind. Only after graduation, not before. Leon claims that it's just falling in love, but it feels like he's trying to convince himself of this and yet it's very difficult for you to say anything to him right now. The moment is really unfortunate.

“It’s not fair” you turned away, not knowing what else to say to him.

In essence, his argument sounded like a stupid excuse to get rid of an annoying fan while remaining noble. The aftertaste of his words nevertheless remains disgusting.

Of course, you won’t complain to daddy, but your soul was becoming more and more lousy as it seemed that this was the same love that was breaking to the core. It’s as if all the bright colors have disappeared from life, leaving only shades of black and gray without a single hint of joy. Perhaps in a few years this will be perceived as stupidity, but what matters is how you feel now. And this is a piercing, gut-wrenching pain. For several months he flirted, cared, made it clear that this was not a game and that everything was serious for him, but the truth turned out to be too cruel.

Your mother comes in exactly at the moment when you can barely restrain yourself from bursting into tears again at the top of your voice, and she perfectly sees this expression on your face. And it’s obvious that you give up, running to your room, leaving the dishes unwashed, so that you can lock yourself in the room again and not leave there for days on end.

Everyone has their own truth. Leon thought that he escaped with less bloodshed and that you were prudent enough not to make stupid mistakes. Because of his actions, many people have already died and if he finds out that you did something to yourself...

Fortunately, your father just thinks that Leon has found the wrong words of comfort, and this is the reason for lying in bed all day because of your lack of desire to do anything at all right now. When your brain becomes a little clearer after several cycles of sleep alternating with insomnia, it eventually requires you to shift your attention to something other than Leon. In fact, the idea of watching The Lord of the Rings is not the worst, although your father was worried that you would withdraw into yourself again after seeing Aragorn and Arwen break up, involuntarily comparing them to yourself, but nothing terrible happened. You just watched TV, even sometimes smiled at some moments, and then fell asleep, and no one dared to disturb your already light sleep.

“Leon shouldn’t have opened this wound. I shouldn’t have asked him to talk to you.”

Your father confessed in the end, feeling guilty for your next relapse of tears. You sigh and at some point you even want to confess everything to him, clutching the corner of the blanket while you and dad watch the movie together, but you change your mind.

It's probably better not to know the whole truth, because if it comes out, then Armageddon will be.

But maybe Leon is right and this is just falling in love, which you just need to get over, despite the fact that it’s not easy.

Kennedy also disappeared from everyone's radar, appearing only at work. However, he still couldn’t concentrate on reports and training; instead of important thoughts, only you and your tear-stained eyes were spinning in his head. He wanted to console you, to tell you that he was wrong, although he told himself the opposite. The decision that he made, Leon considered truly true and correct, but for some reason everything inside him spoke of the opposite, so the only way to feel sorry for himself, he chose alcohol.

It was like a slow death. Being away from a loved one without being able to even touch. Why not agony? every burning sip of alcohol drew your face in front of his eyes and the desire to get lost with you in the world so that both would never be found was something painfully new for Leon.

He will burn in the fire, but you will remain the peak that he cannot reach. Like a fucking drug that he became addicted to and the pain of withdrawal seems to be many times stronger than the one when Ada left him. He desperately needs to get back to you, to his beloved girlfriend, and just be there for you. But it's so wrong. He didn't give a damn about sex… The hated job sucks all the life juices out of him, so the only thing he wants to do after returning home is to get into a hot shower, washing away blood, dirt and guts. He would have taught you everything, explored boundaries together, guided you… It's not such a big problem, considering how attracted you are to him, and not only in an erotic way. Leon just wants to fall asleep with you, hugging you to him. Listening to the chatter and making these stupid jokes that annoy everyone, but at least you were smiling.

Without you, he's drowning in this sea again.

Let this world be so cruel, but it continues to love you with all its soul, therefore it is ready to sacrifice everything without regret and protect you to the end. Every moment with you was colorful, but with his decision, Leon brought everything back to normal, afraid to be happy. At least Chris said something like that to him when she saw that he was drowning himself in alcohol again. These words made Leon curl his lips in an almost malicious smile, snarling because Redfield didn't know how old you were. If he confessed, he would get something like, "Well, it's just lust." Maybe even reminded him of Ada Wong and how Leon was ready to shoot to save this woman.

But life was filled with meaning only when he was with you and not with Ada. He no longer needs a senseless race after each other when he finally managed to bite into a piece of that life where he is loved and expected.

"I have no future with her, Redfield!" he barked, pouring more whiskey into a glass. "My little American dream of a pretty wife, two children and a white picket fence will not come true."

In fact, Leon would be glad to have you alone in his life. He wants too much, although what is available to ordinary people, Leon is fully aware that he has long lost the right to have it. Your father was not afraid to start a family and you, he loves to talk about what pranks you did in childhood and how you sometimes scared your parents by doing something stupid. The usual parental care. Leon thinks that if he were an officer in Raccoon City, as he dreamed, then now he would also be chatting with some cop about what his children are doing.

Eventually, the sand castle built in the head collapsed immediately.

Where is HIS happy "together and forever"? Obviously in another universe, because in this one he still understands that an old jerk with an alcohol problem and an endless sense of guilt clearly shouldn't bother a young girl without experience.

In fact, he's not such a scumbag as to ruin your life. It's better to be a bad experience than an asshole partner who is also never around.

But you're still as beautiful as the day he met you. However, now you keep your distance from each other, which makes the pain of parting remind you how difficult it is without him. Naively, you drew a too unrealistic picture in your head about this relationship and for some reason you still believe in it, hoping for a fairy tale with a happy ending. From that, you constantly look at Leon with a long piercing look that is literally soaked with a plea to take you back.

You could shout, "Look, I'm aware of my choice! And that's you," but sometimes I wondered if he needed you.

After all, Leon deliberately tore up the little that you recreated with him, preferring to go his own way through life alone.

He doesn't talk to you and has kept communication with your father to a minimum due to the inability to look him in the eye. In fact, Leon really wants to get some kind of punishment for what he did to you, for being so dirty and dishonest, and yet like a puppy, he almost whines wishing that it was you who loved him. Maybe there would be another woman who could heal his mental wounds and the question of age would not be so acute, but Leon does not let anyone get too close to him. Sometimes Ada still comes and he honestly tries to find solace in her, sometimes it even works, but his medicine for longing has too short an effect and a new dose is too difficult to find…

Although he knows where you live, what position you like to sleep in, what kind of music you listen to and all that…

On very difficult days, the hand reaches out to read those sent messages. Flipping through the correspondence in the chat, going back to the very beginning when there was no question of any relationship, when you still just considered him just a colleague of your father but already sent something funny, which made a smile appear on his face by itself.

You haven't written to him for about two months, although the impulses to start scribbling message after message still do not leave, but if before it was a cry of the soul for the way he treated you, now you are ready to literally beg him to give you a chance. Yes, you're young, you're still studying, but you don't demand marriage and children from him right away. And besides, you already have all the rights to make decisions for yourself, even if sometimes they are thoughtless and you still need parental help because of your age. But everything comes with age, right? No one starts walking right after birth and you think you have the right to make mistakes and learn from them, so if Leon turns out to be one of them, then you will face the consequences yourself.

You wanted to write something like this to him, but you constantly deleted the printed lines and wrote again, unable to find the strength to send it to him.

Courage came and went at the most inopportune moment, giving way to doubt and low self-esteem. And yet it was he who kissed you first in the barn, gave you expensive gifts and courted you like a man and not like a brat. Seriously, you don't even pay attention to guys your age, focusing only on one man who was killing his liver and psyche. Of course, there is a high probability that in five years or so you will want to go back in time and hit yourself on the head, but nevertheless it will be later. Only in the possible future, but for now, slowly walking through the wet streets of the city under an umbrella, you slowly wander to a familiar apartment, trying to keep your courage in your fists and not let it escape. It gets too wet on the streets, and it's cool, which makes your palms get cold, but still, gathering your courage, you knock on the door of an apartment in the city center.

The knocking is too quiet, so you try to knock a little louder, but as soon as your palm hovers over the door, Leon's face immediately appears in front of you, forcing all the rehearsed words to disappear from your head.

It seems at first he can't believe his eyes. You are standing in front of him, in a cute raincoat, with an umbrella in your hands, whose hand you are nervously pulling and your hair is a little wet - reality and not his drunken imagination, although for a couple of seconds Leon still thinks that this is his drunken delirium.

"Um…Sorry for being uninvited… I just wanted…To talk?" almost stuttering, you say, looking into his blue eyes that seem a little drunk, "Will you let me in?"

He sighs and you wait with bated breath for the verdict, hoping that you don't look like a fool in front of him. It takes maybe ten seconds before Leon nods, stepping back and you enter his apartment with small steps, standing on the threshold, still nervously but holding on to your umbrella more tightly, scratching the handle with your thumb nail in excitement.

Maybe he's just overworked, but there's an unfinished bottle of alcohol on the table and Leon himself seems disheveled, but still he holds out his hand to you and you look at him in amazement, not realizing that he just offers to take your umbrella and raincoat to dry them a little. Slow reaction is normal for ordinary people and Leon never condemns you for this, in fact, he's not even angry, deep down he's probably even glad that you appeared briefly in his life again, however…

"Something happened?" He asks in a tired tone, although he can see from your body language how tense you are, hoping that you don't have any very serious problems, why are you so worried "Do you have problems or…"

At that moment, you realize that the conversation you are about to have will be long and emotionally difficult.

As the saying goes, "Fortune favors the bold " even if your legs are shaking with fear, then at least you will try to solve this dilemma with him.

#leon kennedy #leon scott kennedy #leon s kennedy #leon kennedy x reader #leon x reader #leon s kennedy x reader #leon kennedy x you #leon s kennedy x fem!reader #leon scott kennedy x reader #leon s kennedy x you #resident evil x reader #resident evil #leon resident evil #resident evil leon #leon kennedy fanfiction

[kwanisms]

Kinkuary 28 Soonyoung — marking // car sex

➥ boyfriend!Soonyoung x privileged upbringing!Reader summary: Soonyoung has had to warn you more than once not to tease him while he was driving but sometimes you just didn't want to listen. wc: 3.9k warnings: afab reader, adult dialogue, established relationship, alcohol consumption (reader), reader has a rich family & had a privileged upbringing (lol can’t relate), sexual content (minors dni!): car sex (sex on the hood of a car to be precise), unprotected sex (use protection!!), a lot of dirty talk, pet names (mainly baby), degradation (he calls her a whore and a slut a few times) at first Soonyoung’s kinda mean but then he gets very whiny aka he’s extremely vocal, marking (neck, shoulder, chest). If there are any I missed let me know! Permanent taglist: @yoonguurt @candidupped @dejavernon Kinkuary full taglist: @baldi-2 @wonderfulshinee @lacie220900 @sup-dallyboy @drunk-on-dk @violagoth @mixling-blog @kosmoreads @yourfavoritefreakyhan Seventeen taglist: @aikisbbq @niktwazny303 @indigo35 @moonlightsora @witherednotes @cixrosie @hoeforcheol @kirooz @yeosayang @katsukis1wife Strikethrough means I cannot tag you. MINORS WILL BE BLACKLISTED & BLOCKED. Taglist closed!

a/n: I’ve been meaning to write Soonyoung car sex for a while so this is the perfect opportunity. Thank you all so much for reading all the Kinkuary pieces! It’s been a wild ride this entire month and I want to thank everyone who showed each piece love! I hope you liked reading these as much as I loved writing them! I will be doing Kinktober this year but each piece will be supernatural themed. As always, this is a work of fiction and all characters are not reflective of their respective irl counterparts. for entertainment purposes only. banner made by me. I do not allow reposts or translations of my works. All my works are ©️ kwanisms. This is dedicated to @ncteez cause she loves Hoshi and I love her. ilysm my honeypot 🍯 I hope you like it. And if you haven't read any of hon's works, 1.) Where have you been??? And 2.) Go show her some love ❤️

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"How many times have I told you?" Soonyoung growled, his hand making contact with your ass for the fifth time. You let out a whimper, fingers digging into the fabric of the seat.

"How many times have I told you? Don't tease me while I'm driving!"

It had started as dinner at your parents', driving from your hotel to your parents’ home in the countryside of your hometown. They offered to let the two of you stay in the guest rooms but when you told your boyfriend that you’d have to sleep in separate rooms, he declined the offer.

If he had to go from sleeping next to you in your shared apartment back in Seoul, there was no way he wasn’t going to sleep next to you while visiting your hometown. “That’s just cruel,” he’d pouted.

You thanked your parents but told them that Soonyoung had already booked your stay in a nice hotel.

The flight to your hometown was uneventful except for the fact that Soonyoung awoke abruptly screaming when the plane hit a tiny bit of turbulance. He apologized profusely to the attendants and the people sitting around you.

The drive to your hotel was also uneventful, you taking over the driving as you knew the city better than Soonyoung did. Upon reaching your hotel, the two of you got checked in and passed out, sleeping for the rest of the day and well into the early morning.

Soonyoung had woken you up with his snores at 5 am on the dot, prompting you to smack him with your pillow before finally getting up and taking a shower, knowing you’d never be able to get back to sleep with his snoring.

That first day was spent showing Soonyoung all the places you used to go when you were younger, showing him your old schools as well as the places you used to hang out with your friends at night when you all snuck out to meet up.

It was foreign but also familiar to him as you explained the importance of each place to you and your friends’ younger selves. He had places like this back in Namyangju. Place he and his friends would go to just be themselves.

It allowed him a glimpse into your past and he was so grateful he’d argued the time off to come here with you.

The following morning was spent in bed, as you spent most of your mornings off together, exploring each others’ bodies like it was the first time though it was long past that.

You’d be spending most of the day at your parents’ house so you needed to get your urges out before then. That was the plan anyway.

But even the best laid plans go awry at times.

For you, it started when Soonyoung exited the bathroom in only a towel, having just showered. You were halfway through your makeup routine when he started to apply his skincare and your eyes wandered.

He’d been spending a lot more time in the gym lately and you obviously noticed how he’d filled out in the time you began dating.

Soonyoung caught you staring more than once and joked that if you kept looking at him with ‘bedroom eyes’ he was going to pounce on you.

Not that you’d be complaining but you had to leave soon if you wanted to arrive on time to your parents’ house.

The entire drive there, Soonyoung kept fiddling with his fingers, shifting in his seat nervously as he asked question after question about your parents.

You reassured him that his English was more than enough to communicate with them and that you had no problem translating if needed. You wanted him to meet your family because Soonyoung was just that important to you.

You almost laughed at the way his eyes widened as you pulled off the freeway and onto a smaller one lane highway. He asked if they lived in the middle of nowhere and if you were actually taking him to your family home.

“You could be taking me to be a sacrificial lamb and I’d never know.”

As you pulled onto the gravel road your parents’ home was on, Soonyoung was almost bouncing in his seat, watching the houses go by, separated by miles and growing in size.

Finally, you slowed down and pulled onto the driveway leading to your parents’ house. You could tell they’d recently replaced the driveway as it was no longer cracked. The drive wound through the wooded lot until you pulled up to the circle drive that passed the front door.

You remembered this house from your childhood but it wasn’t your parents’ back then. It was your grandparents’ house.

You recognized your parents’ cars at the detached garage but there were a few other cars parked out front you didn’t know. One of them might have been your sister’s or her husband’s, but you weren’t entirely sure. It was a different car from last time you visited.

The other cars could only belong to other family members but you didn’t remember which car belonged to who.

You cut the engine and got out, Soonyoung following suit as the front door opened. You turned to your boyfriend to warn him to brace himself. He was about to be smothered.

As you led the way to the front door where you mother and father stood, your boyfriend was suddenly engulfed by a small crowd of children that had come out of seemingly nowhere.

Your little cousins and you also recognized your nieces and nephews among the crowd. Soonyoung looked like he was being eaten alive by piranhas and you couldn’t help but laugh before waving and shooing the children away.

You took his hand and pulled him to the front door, only letting go as your parents’ pulled you into a hug before their attention turned to your boyfriend standing on the stoop. “This is Soonyoung, my boyfriend,” you introduced.

That simple introduction was all that was needed. Your parents pulled Soonyoung into the house as you greeted the rest of your family.

What you expected to be a simple dinner with your immediate family had turned into a small reunion of sorts. Aunts and uncles, cousins you hadn’t seen in years were all there and very curious about the man you’d brought home.

You knew you were in for a long day.

Any reservations you had about Soonyoung getting along or fitting in with your family went out the window as he settled in. He managed to converse smoothly with anyone who came up to speak to him.

Your aunts loved him, your uncles seemed to approve, but your cousins were something else. The little ones had comandeered him into playing with them and suddenly your boyfriend found himself playing hide and seek with about twenty children.

The actual dinner was nice. Your mother and aunts had gone all out, making almost every dish that was special to your family. It was almost like a banquet. There was so much food to choose from and it was all delicious.

Every time either you or Soonyoung finished eating, more magically appeared on your plate. Soonyoung complained only to you about how hard he’d have to train to work off all the pounds he no doubt just gained but he loved all of it.

You were about halfway into dessert when you just couldn’t stop looking at Soonyoung. He’d chosen a black silky long sleeve button down and paired it with some fitted black jeans. His hair was styled back to show off his forehead.

You were sipping on your cocktail one of your aunts had made when you noticed that the first few buttons of his shirt were undone, letting you peek at his collarbone. You suddenly felt hot and needed to get some water.

When you returned, you scooted your chair a little closer to your boyfriend, leaning against him. He was smiling and laughing at something your brother in law had said when his laughter almost instantly died down.

Your hand had snuck under the table to his thigh. He glanced at you, wondering if you’d done it on purpose wbut ehen he was met with the sight of you sipping your water innocently, he assumed it was just habit.

A habit that happened to get him riled up.

As dessert went on, the kids finished their food and went off to play more. Soonyoung had been asked to accompany them but he wasn’t done eating and he was engrossed in the conversation.

You took the opportunity to slide your hand up his thigh, closer to his crotch. His hand wrapped around your wrist, stopping you as he hiss under his breath in Korean “what the hell are you doing?” You looked at him nonchalantly and shrugged, pulling your hand away and grabbing your empty plate.

Wordlessly you left the rable to start cleaning up, leaving your boyfriend both stunned and confused.

The rest of the day was spent relaxing until you noticed the time and called Soonyoung over from where he was playing with the youngest children. He was sad when you said you had to leave but it was getting late and you still had a bit of a drive back to your hotel.

After a lengthy goodbye, the two of you departed, Soonyoung taking over driving while following the GPS on your phone. The drive was mostly quiet, the radio playing softly as the scenery passed by in a blur. The sun was almost completely below the horizon as you looked out the window.

Glancing over at your boyfriend proved to be a questionable choice with the alcohol in your system and the way you’d been teasing him, albeit briefly, earlier, left you with a sense of dissatisfaction.

Trying to be as nonchalant as you could, you stretched your arms before letting one of your hands rest on Soonyoung’s thigh.

He glanced down at your hand and then back up before looking at you quickly.

You gave him a warm smile, thanking him for coming with you to meet your family. He returned your smile, saying he was glad he came with you. “Your family is so loud and fun,” he replied, keeping his eyes on the road.

“Especially the kids. I had so much fun with them today.”

You listened to him ramble on, talking about each member he had the chance to get to know a little and as you listened, watching him speak excitedly, your hand moved up his thigh just a little. It was so slow he almost didn’t notice.

It wasn’t until your hand brushed against his crotch that he realized your hand had moved. “What are you doing?” He asked suspiciously. “Nothing,” you said sweetly, eyeing him innocently.

“Then what’s that?” Soonyoung asked, nodding down towards your hand.

“What’s what?” You asked, feigning ignorance as a smirk started to form. “Baby,” Soonyoung said sternly as he tried to keep his focus on the dark empty road. “I’ve told you not to do this while I’m driving. It makes it hard to focus,” he added.

You teasingly pressed your palm against his cock, feeling it starting to harden under your touch. “Are you sure you want me to stop?” You asked, leaning closer. “Your body is telling me otherwise.”

Your hand moved again, making him let out a soft moan, fingers tightening on the steering wheel. “Y/N,” I’m serious,” he said in a shaky voice. “You don’t sound serious, Soonie.”

You continued to palm him through his jeans, his eyes fluttering shut briefly as he let out another low moan. “Babe, you’re gonna make us crash,” he groaned as you grabbed him through the thick material of his pants.

“Then keep your eyes on the road,” you replied, moving to undo the button of his jeans. Soonyoung let out a growl, pressing on the brakes and pulling over to the side of the road. “What are you doing?” You asked sitting upright and looking around the deserted area.

Soonyoung said nothing as he parked the car and cut the engine. He unbuckled his seat belt, getting out quickly as he shut the door and walked around the front of the car.

When he opened your door, you looked up to see a dark look in his eyes. “Get out of the car,” he ordered. His tone sent a shiver down your back and blood rushing to your core as you unbuckled your seat belt and got out. 

Soonyoung grabbed your waist, pulling you out of the way as he sat in your empty seat, turning you to face him and pulled you onto his lap, positioning you so your head was near the glove box. Soonyoung pulled your skirt up, exposing your ass and delivering a sharp slap to the skin. “I warned you,” he growled.

“You want to tease me? Act like a whore?” He asked as he stood up, pulling you with him. “Soonyoung, I’m sorry,” you gasped as he shut the door, pushing you against it. “Sorry? Oh now you’re sorry?” He scoffed, one hand moving up to cup your cheek before slipping into your hair and grabbing it roughly.

“Too bad,” he growled. “On your knees, slut.”

You obeyed, dropping to your knees in front of him. “Good girl,” Soonyoung purred. “Now open that pretty mouth for me.”

You did as he asked, watching as he undid his pants, pushing the denim and his underwear down.

“You just couldn’t wait until we got back to the hotel, could you?” He asked as he took his leaking cock in his hand, giving himself a couple strokes. “You wanted this so bad?” He asked, referencing his cock gripped in his hand.

You glanced up to meet his heated gaze, nodding once. “Be careful what you wish for, baby,” Soonyoung said in a low voice. “Wider,” he added, guiding the tip of his cock to your mouth. “Tongue out.” You obeyed his instruction, almost moaning as you felt the weight of his cock rest on your tongue.

“Good girl,” Soonyoung cooed. “Now be a doll and put that pretty mouth to work.”

Not wanting to be told twice, you took the head of your boyfriend’s cock onto your mouth, lips wrapping around him as he slid further in.

Your hands moved up to his thighs but you felt the grip on your hair tighten. “Keep your hands down,” he ordered, the harsh tone of his voice sending chills down your spine. You could feel your arousal starting to grow, pooling on the gusset of your panties.

Soonyoung rested his free hand against the car, holding your hair as he guided your head, driving his cock further into your mouth with each pull. “That’s it,” he said softly, watching his length disappear in your mouth.

“Keep your mouth open.”

Saliva coated his shaft, some of it spilling out of your mouth and down your chin. Giving him head was always an extremely messy affair as Soonyoung had a habit of wanting to fuck your face and use it to his advantage.

The tip of his cock hit the back of your throat, making you gag and your empty cunt to clench around nothing. Your panties were soaked at this point and you hoped that Soonyoung would at least let you get off before getting back in the car.

You gagged again as he thrusted, hitting the back of your throat again. “God I love that sound,” Soonyoung murmured, his grip on your hair loosening as he lost himself in the feeling of your wet mouth.

You gasped as he pulled out of your mouth, almost protesting before he guided you to your feet and dragged you to the front of the car.

The sun had disappeared, twilight setting in as more stars started to appear.

You let out a small ‘oof’ as Soonyoung pushed you onto the hood of the car, your knees bumping into the front bumper. “Stay just like that,” he ordered as he pulled your panties to the side. “I’m gonna fuck you like the little whore you are.”

You didn’t have a chance to bite back as he pushed into your hole with one thrust, making you cry out in both pain and pleasure as he filled you up. The stretch stung but was quickly overshadowed by the familiar feeling of being full of his cock.

“I’d tell you to hold on,” he said as he grabbed your skirt in a bunch with one hand. “But you don’t have much to grab,” he added. He was right. The hood of the car was smooth and had nothing to hold onto.

You let out a whimper as he started off with hard but evenly paced thrusts before setting a relentless pace, hips hitting your ass with a loud smack.

“Such a good slut,” he groaned, his hand that wasn’t holding your skirt pushing you down against the car. Each thrust had breathy moans and whines leaving your lips as your boyfriend pounded into you mercilessly from behind.

“S-soonie,” you whimpered, hands pushing against the hood of the car, trying to push yourself up.

“I told you not to get up,” Soonyoung growled, the hand on your back moving to grab your hair. “Stay down and take it like the greedy little whore you are!”

You whined loudly, not caring if anyone was around to hear you. The road was deserted, there were no lights other than the stars and the running lights of the car.

“Fuck you’re so tight,” Soonyoung grunted, his thrusts hard and deep as he rammed into you. “Always so tight but you take me so well.”

You were about to respond when your boyfriend suddenly wrapped an arm around your chest, pulling you up as he continued to fuck you against the hood the of car. “So tight and wet and all mine,” he growled.

You moaned, feeling his teeth sink into the slope of your neck. “Hng, not so hard, Soonyoung!” You whined as he sucked harshly. “Gotta let the whole world know you’re mine,” he growled in your ear before biting another spot, leaving marks along the parts of your neck and shoulder he could reach.

You let out a cry as Soonyoung let you fall back to the car, pulling out of your wet cunt with a hiss. You were about to ask what he was doing when he pulled you up and turned you to face him.

His lips collided with yours in a messy and rushed kiss, tongues clashing as he pushed you onto the hood of the car on your back. Pushing your back against the car, he grabbed your thighs, pulling them up to his waist as he lined his cock with your entrance and thrust into you, resuming the same pace as before.

You cried out, grabbing his wrists as he held your waist. The only sounds around you were the sounds of crickets and the occasional owl as well as the sound of his cock entering your wet pussy repeatedly, skin hitting skin as he fucked you.

In the dim light of the running lights, you could see the way Soonyoung’s brow furrowed as he focused on the aim and timing of his thrusts. His gaze met yours and your walls clenched around him as you made eye contact.

“Holy fuck,” Soonyoung groaned, his hands moving to push your shirt up, exposing your lace bra and chest. “God you’re so fucking hot.”

You moaned, letting out a squeal as Soonyoung wrapped an arm around your back and pulled you up, catching your lips in a wet, sloppy kiss. “Oh shit, i’m not gonna last,” Soonyoung whispered as his lips trailed down your neck, dropping to your chest and sucking the soft skin that peeked from under your bra.

Your fingers combed through his hair, tugging at the locks at the back of his head as his lips continued. You let out a moan as he pulled the cup of your bra down, taking your nipple in his mouth, tongue wetting the raised bud.

A loud moan ripped from your throat as your grip on Soonyoung’s hair tightened, throwing your head back as your orgasm started to wash over you.

Your boyfriend’s hips didn’t stop once, not even faltering as he continued to plow into you, helping you ride out your high as he chased his own. Your nipple had fallen from his mouth as he let out breathy, desperate whines and moans, his hot breath fanning over your skin as he buried his face into your chest.

“I’m gonna- oh god I’m gonna-!” He whimpered. “I know, baby,” you cooed, combing your fingers through his hair, one hand cupping his cheek. “Cum for me,” you continued. “Cum inside me. Fill me up.”

Soonyoung buried his face deeper into your chest, muffling his moans as he came, his thrusts continuing to move as he emptied his load into your wet cunt.

He continued to thrust weakly, shuddering breaths as he came down from his high slowly. “Oh my god,” he finally breathed as he pulled his head back to look up at you. “What have- I’m so sorry. I can’t believe we just- holy shit, Y/N, I’m so sorry.”

You let out a chuckle as he babbled, taking your face in his hands. You hadn’t seen yourself but you knew you probably looked like a mess. “S’okay, Soonie,” you murmured, kissing his hands as he examined your face. “‘M okay.”

He pulled you in for a gentle kiss, melting against you as you kissed him back just as tenderly. “We should probably move,” you whispered against his lips. Soonyoung sighed, wincing as your walls squeezed around his cock that was still buried inside you. “But you’re so warm,” he whined.

You laughed, pressing a kiss to his nose. “Then let’s hurry and get back to the hotel,” you answered as he slowly pulled out of you, grimacing as his cum dripped out of you onto the hood and bumper of the car.

“Does your town have any 24 hour car washes?” He asked as you slid off the car, pushing your skirt and shirt back down. You looked up at him and then down to where he was staring. “Oh,” you said softly.

“I don’t think so,” you answered. “We can just wipe it off and clean the car tomorrow first thing.”

Soonyoung nodded, adjusting his pants, tucking his shirt back in having already put himself back in his underwear. “Yeah,” he said softly. “Let’s do that.”

You moved to your door, opening it and then grabbing a couple wipes from the container in your purse. You returned to the front and carefully wiped up your boyfriend’s cum from the hood and the bumper before standing upright.

“Here,” Soonyoung murmured, taking the wipes from you. “What’re you doing?” You asked as he knelt down, peering up your skirt and started to wipe the inside of your thighs. “You’ve got… yeah,” Soonyoung said softly as he wiped what you assumed was his cum from your skin.

As he stood back up he murmured another apology, prompting you to pull him closer with your arms around his neck and kissing him. “You have nothing to apologize for,” you added as he used another wipe to clean your chin and cheeks.

“I should be apologizing,” you continued. Soonyoung shook his head, his free hand resting on the small of your back. “Never apologize for wanting me,” he said with a cheeky grin.

“Just don’t distract me when I’m driving. I don’t want to kill us.”

#seventeen scenarios #seventeen imagines #seventeen smut #seventeen x reader #soonyoung scenarios #soonyoung imagines #soonyoung smut #soonyoung x reader #hoshi scenarios #hoshi imagines #hoshi smut #hoshi x reader #kwanisms kinkuary #kinkuary 2023

[socheckitout-mikey]

do u think u could do something where johnny and the reader aren't officially dating or anything but she keeps stealing and wearing his clothes, and the gang starts teasing them for it, which eventually leads to him actually asking her out? i'm sorry if this is too much or anything but thank you so much!!

ahhh this is so cute! idk how i missed this one. my apologies for taking so long writing it out. it came out waaay longer than i anticipated, but i hope you enjoy what i came up with. (': <33 - mae

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Title: The Shirt Thief

Pairing: Johnny Cade x reader

Summary: A cold night with Johnny Cade in the vacant lot brings you an unusual sense of warmth in the form of his denim jacket. What starts off with said jacket, causes you to end up with multiple articles of Johnny's clothes. It all seems harmless until the gang starts digging their noses into Johnny's business. Are you guys friends or are you more than that?

Word Count: 9,472

Disclaimer: THIS IS EDITED! I fixed the spelling mistakes and some of the grammatical errors. I also added a few new things to it, mainly in dialogue. I hope you like it though! :)

Warnings: Mentions of abuse in Johnny's home (with his parents), animals hunting and fighting, Soc's bullying the reader - vice versa, almost attempted assault, the gang coming to the rescue, rough housing with the gang (banter mainly) and a whole lot of sass! Johnny is somewhat ooc here because he's more talkative and sassy, but it's just how the piece came along! Let me know if I forgot anything else.

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  The story of our pesky shirt thief begins in the vacant lot under the sparkling night sky. This night was a relatively clear one in the cusp of autumn’s frost. The full moon was ample, a stunning silver glow that hypnotically danced, shrouded slightly from the wispy clouds sent onward by the chilly fall wind. Amber, golden and burnt brick red crumpled leaves tumbled noisily across the sandy dirt in a mini whirlwind. A toasty fire was being nurtured timidly upon the outskirts of this deserted place, courtesy of Johnny Cade. Underneath the jagged canopy of an almost bare tree, losing its wrinkled leaves, our greasy raven haired boy’s fingers quivered around the spindly stick in his hand. Gave an experimental poke to the half snapped branch swarmed by the smouldering, orange flames. He did not shiver from the cold, but from rampant nerves that pertained to someone he was particularly fond of being there beside him. That person being you.

  In a gloomy haze, stretched over sixteen years, the dependent vacant lot with all of its decaying junk left to rot had become his home away from home. It was somewhere he could come to in order to escape the harshness he had just down the street, riddled with its cluttered and intense violence. The one he had with his parents – if he could ever really call them that – had never been consumed with even an inkling of love or nurturing. It practically rotted away from the inside out with its creaky floorboards, dust riddled insides and the damp lining the walls like a thick winter scarf. A location where he was destined to be neglected in, for the only attention he obtained was to be hollered at by his mother when she was hacked off at whatever or whoever it was that particular time: Whereas his father brandished anything he could in hand to pelt him with. The thought made Johnny shudder, a sick nauseous feeling welling up inside of him. Slimy and cold.

  However, not all was lost. There had been some silver linings in teaching him things such as love, loyalty and camaraderie: His gang of reliable buddies that would stretch to the ends of the Earth for him were the culprits. Although they had nothing too, they gave him everything he’d been missing. Well, almost everything. They were the sole reason he had not run away about a million times by now. They grounded him, created a net of safety and support that he never would have experienced otherwise if he had not been born in this very downtrodden neighbourhood. Yet they could not save him from everything – a harsh reality he came face to face with daily. Nothing and no one could ever replace the lacking love of his parents.

  Nevertheless, the youthful greaser that looked as if he were a puppy that had been kicked one too many times had grown used to bumming around most nights on the busted leather car seat left to waste away in the lot. A frequent bed he now sat upon to gaze up at the glittering stars in the midnight haze of the dark sky. He pondered to himself, watching it while his most favourite person in the world sat off to his right. The silence between you both wasn’t awkward or uncomfortable. Just off experiencing your own inner worlds whilst you enjoyed the other’s presence. Johnny wasn’t much of a talker as is. You understood the chips he had on the table and didn’t mind in the slightest, but you had your ways of getting him talking.

  Despite the fact that he had a warmer and much more benevolent destination to crash at nightly: The Curtis House. He felt an immense pang of guilt and shame engulf him entirely at the thought of taking up that space. This house did not consume the same dreamy and abundant riches that one would desire at the core. Instead those fantasies were only destined for reality on the Wicked West Side of Tulsa, Oklahoma. “The home to the rich and greedy,” as Sodapop loved to put it.

  Although the Curtis House lacked in material volume, it oozed a charm in its bare necessities and rundown appearance, with its peeling papered walls and well played piano that needed a miracle of tuning. What it lacked when it came to standardised beauty was made up for by its glowing warmth of love, companionship and acceptance of all the inhabitants that nestled under its rickety roof. It was a safe haven for anyone needing a place to lay low to avoid getting into trouble that could be avoided; a.k.a trouble with the law. Dallas and Steve were also regular inhabitants of the well loved couch perched up against the wall by the front door of the home: A product of powerful tempers that needed quenching. They found solace on that old, brown cushiony hunk of junk just as Johnny did when the nights grew too cold or unbearable on his lonesome.

  Johnny stared up at Orion's Belt wondrously, remembering the time he'd heard Ponyboy rattle on about how he'd woken up to find the notorious Tim Shepard occupying his couch, reading the morning paper.

  'Now, what in the hell was someone like Tim Shepard doin' on the Curtis’ couch?' Johnny thought silently.

  Never had he bagged the likes of the eldest Shepard to reach out for a lifeline like that. It was almost unheard of, unfathomable. Tim was a handsome young man with a gnarly looking scar running from his temple to his chin. He was hard, cold and twisted. Jail, booze and all the criminal endeavours he had under his belt were like a morbid toolkit of how to be the best hoodlum out there. He looked about as capable of accepting charity as a lost soul in Hell. Then Johnny supposed that he never really knew him like Dally did. Johnny's silent disposition made it challenging for him to get close to anyone outside of his gang of buddies. Sometimes he preferred it this way, but usually he loathed it. Loneliness was easy in warping the soul of a good man.

  From what Dally had told him of Tim Shepard, it'd be an immense knock to his swelling pride to reach out for help and have everyone aware of it. Inflated prides and fragile egos didn't do wonders for people with big mouths. Hence why Johnny kept his damn trap shut about it after Pony had told him.

  'Man, he's gotta be pullin' my leg or somethin'.' He said internally before shaking his head.

  Expelling a breath, Johnny settled back into the leather seat as comfortably as possible. He swore he'd get a bad back after opting to take the lumpy side of the car bench with the springs gnawing their way through. It had been the gentlemanly thing to do after all. He was a good guy with a good heart.

  Warmth pervaded nicely from the reasonably sized fire he'd established in front of you both, but the chilly wind licked at any bare bits of skin daring to peer through tiny cracks in clothes. He hardly shivered outside of a nervous twitch. Perhaps that was only due to the fact he'd grown accustomed to the elements no matter the weather – unlike yourself.

  Instead his charcoal eyes were doe-like, shakily flickering to his right where you sat. Only then in this moment did he fully come to the present moment, understanding the cold bit at your nose, ears and fingers in a way that looked cute. Yet despite your shivering that you so desperately attempted to hide, you sat there in all of your beautiful glory with only a few inches of space between you both. A comfortability you bathed in that seemed so raw, as if you were merely sitting on your living room couch with both of your knees and feet tucked under you and just off to the side. Peace prevailed from the tender smile gracing your features. A subconscious practice, you definitely seemed to be lost in your own thoughts. Johnny stared at you, and wondered what kind of movie was flashing behind those pretty eyes to have the sun dawn across your face like that. To him, all he could see was the vacant lot – a desolate place where only hoodlums would hang in droves, drawn in by its trashy grounds.

  "You starin' cuz I got somethin' on my mug or it's just that ugly?" You grinned like a chessy cat, turning to look him directly in the eye. Thinking that being a wise cracker was funny.

  Damn you and your perceptiveness.

  Instantaneously Johnny ripped his gaze from yours, stiff as a plank. Embarrassment dashed across every cell in his body and left his lungs flat of oxygen. Man, if he thought his usual heartbeat was fast, what was happening inside of his chest right then must have been the speed of goddamn light!

  All he could do was stammer out, "U-u-uh n-n-neither!" The poor guy sounded like Porky The Pig. 

  Your eyelids fluttered in astonishment at the stuttering mess of a young man he was. So jumpy. A mouse scuttling around on sharp eggshells. Part of you would've felt proud of your handiwork if it had been anyone else, but it was Johnny, your best friend. "Awe shucks, Johnny-cake," you offered him sheepishly, "I didn't tell you to stop. I was just messin' with ya. Gotta keep you on your toes somehow."

  Messing with him? That was evident. He wasn't cross with you for pulling on his leg, just bothered by himself for getting caught out in the act. "S'okay, I g-get it." He shrugged, trying to play it cool whilst he stared into the portal to the Underworld.

  "Penny for your thoughts?" You tried again, bumping him softly with your shoulder.

  "Nothin' much," He lied smoothly, picking at the hole in his tennis shoe.

  "You sure you ain't developin' the cure for cancer or somethin'? You're pretty smart." You inquired with a cheeky beam.

  "Shoot! Do I look like I know what two plus two equals?" Johnny was getting a little bit sassy.

  "Okay okay, I get it. I'll back off." You chortled.

  'Yeah, thank goodness for that…' Johnny thought to himself. Suddenly he was uneasy with the idea of you ever discovering his little moments of staring at you because he loved the way you looked in candid moments like this one just passed. How did one go about saying these kinds of things? Johnny didn't know a lick. He was a dejected lost cause in the romance department. An awkward bump on a log. Felt he looked cruddy right about now too so he scratched the back of his head fervently for a second. No one really gave him a second glance. He was invisible and too quiet to be noticed.

  Yet he failed to realise that you noticed him.

  His forlorn expression had been obscured by his shaggy bangs that hung on his forehead. In fact, they no longer existed. You watched him struggle with something akin to wrestling a twenty foot gator inside of that skull of his. It made you feel funny on the inside, as if you were to blame. Diligently Johnny picked up the jagged stick he'd used to poke the flames with earlier. Started drawing in the dusty cold dirt at his feet. Back and forth, left and right, then round and round. A tedious therapeutic cycle.

  'Yup, he's off to the moon again.' You thought. 'I'll give him a sec to recoup. I think I made him short circuit a little too hard.' 

  Just then the bleakness of the night pressed its breathy lips against you. You shivered in response, huddling unconsciously to Johnny for his radiator heat. Part of him was shaking too. The flames jolted haphazardly. A violent twirl of dead leaves kicked up into the air before the wind relented altogether and they fluttered into the fire that engulfed them. It was a beautiful sight indeed, albeit destructive. The elements typically were unforgiving. That was the cycle of life. Mother Nature worked in wondrous ways that went beyond the mere perception of the human mind. Ever evolving and always there. It had put a smile on your face, and Johnny looked at you once more.

  "Now, you wanna give me a penny for your thoughts?" He asked.

  You slowly turned to look at him, your smile unwavering, "And cash in my trade secrets when you won't give me yours? That don't tally up to me."

  Johnny shrugged, trying to hide a ghost of a smile on his features, "You just caught me off guard that's all…"

  "Oooooh so I got the element of surprise on my side?" You wiggled your eyebrows. "Who knew I was mighty smooth!"

  Johnny rolled his charcoal eyes, shook his head with a laugh, "Don't get too big headed now," he warned.

  "Why, cuz I'll float away?" 

  "Naw," Johnny shook his head, "You sound like Two-bit."

  Your countenance fell from grace then; all of the humour drained completely, replaced with a sulk. "Now you just went and ruined it."

  Johnny laughed heartily, "I dunno why you got it against him, yn. It was only fifth grade-," 

  "Don't remind me of fifth grade! He put gum in my hair and you saw it." You warned with a finger pointed at him. “I looked like a coconut headed bum for two years, Johnny Cade! Two years I ain’t ever gonna get back.”

  "Alright, alright! Don't shoot." He mumbled with a half smirk on his face.

  "And don't laugh either. Who's side are you on anyway?" You mumbled with your arms folded over your chest.

  Johnny met his match in attempting to swallow the laughter down, "Who knew you were this much of a sore loser," with a shake of his head.

  "Sore loser my ass…" You retorted, looking off to the side like a petulant child.

  All Johnny could do was laugh.

  The sourness of your mood forced you to realise the lateness of the night. The cold showed its first signs of frost that danced mistily away from the firelight. You quivered fully this time, rubbing your nimble hands up and down your arms. "Are you cold?" Johnny finally had the courage to ask.

  "Uh-huh! But I'll be okay."

  "You know you don't have to tough it out for me, right?" Johnny said sincerely. "You shoulda brought a coat. It's November not August."

  "I forgot, mom." You mumbled wryly.

  "Man, don't call me that. It sounds strange." He pulled a face as he spoke.

  "And why not?" You demanded. 

  "Cuz you sound like T-," He began, but you cut him off.

  "Don't even think about saying that name!"

  Despite himself, Johnny was laughing something awful. A grin spread across his face akin to a mixture of pride and victory. He'd bested you in the end and even you knew it. "You asshole-," You muttered, but it all bled through into your own sense of laughter that mingled with his. 

  Then it seemed to die down, a comfortable glow encasing you both. In the midst of it you hardly realised Johnny shimmying beside you – too caught up in the afterglow. But then an uncanny warmth of freshly worn denim was draped over your shoulders. Ghosts of fingertips touched the nape of your neck as it was laid there. Your head turned to find Johnny retracting his hands shyly and passing it off without a word. The gesture touched you, made you feel all warm and fuzzy inside.

  "Why?" Your better judgement couldn't stop the question from flying out of your mouth.

  Johnny squirmed uncomfortably under your focused stare, "I dunno…" he shrugged. "You were cold and didn't have a jacket. It was the right thing to do I guess."

  The right thing to do. It made you beam beautifully then. Johnny Cade was always doing the right thing. Well, maybe not all the time when he was with his buddies, but usually he did. A good guy with a good heart that made yours flutter at the touch. The act of giving you his most prized possession really touched you in ways that made your eyes begin to water. You needed a second to blink them back. Hoping he hadn't noticed. Luckily he hadn't. 

  You thanked him in the only way you knew how to, by leaning your head on his shoulder. He stiffened to the touch, unfamiliar with it. Johnny wasn't much of a hugger, so physical contact was reserved for special moments. He allowed it this time and you felt his body shake, unsure with what to do with himself. Your fingers wrapped around his bicep, a reassuring squeeze so light it helped him realise you weren't going to hurt him. You never could. He was too special, too gentle, but wild in his own way when he let himself out freely. Yet the person he was now, the boy that gave you his jacket and talked with you the most; that was your Johnny Cade.

  "Thank you, Johnny-cake." You whispered into the air, gently holding his hand and squeezing softly. It was sweaty.

  "D-don't mention it." He swallowed, giving you an experimental squeeze back. "It's just my jacket, softie."

  "Who you callin' softie?" You look up at him with a cocked eyebrow.

  "You."

  Silence befell you, and it was laced in a tranquil dose. Hushed whispers reverberated off of the caverns in your hearts, growing more prominent. All the giggles filled with the springy frolicking of baby lambs. Clumsy and endearing. Johnny lit a fire in you unmatched and vice versa. Young love that was mutual, but unknown to the other. You stayed with him for quite some time, until he walked you home. You'd sent him off with a wave after him shyly telling you to keep it. Made him promise not to sleep out in the cold, and Johnny kept his word. Slunk all the way to the Curtis House three hours before sunup to fortunately find it free. Rest was his, all with a smile screwed on tightly to his features.

  Many more instances of thievery occurred with your pesky little fingers and the growing feelings that possessed you like a restless spirit. Time spent with Johnny became your drug of choice, and you could not get enough of him. No funny business was happening, it was just your personalities melding well together. You brought out a sassy part to him, and surprisingly he could keep up with you. Each meeting was set in colder conditions than the last. Forcing Johnny to bring in what little reinforcements he had. You either seemed to forget a jacket or your layers weren't nearly enough. His jacket was a chameleon's skin, bouncing from his shoulders to yours. His shirts were a comforting reminder of him when he wasn't around – shields against the bleakness of winter. His grey sweatshirt was your favourite. Everything began to accumulate. 

  One day you were both coming from the tracks in the Shepard outfit where a little creek was running through another vacant lot by an old abandoned factory. The water was still frozen and the trees were barren. All sorts of junk stuck to the frosty ground. It was kind of niche-like, a quiet place that seemed abandoned when the sun shone its rays upon Tulsa. It had been an accidental find during a summer day the year before. A superb place to explore when things were warmer and less soggy. Though it was apparent that neither of you had the courage to explore the dangerous insides of the abandoned warehouse in its entirety. Anyone could be lurking there, boobietrapped the innards to protect their stashed hoards. So the pair of you stuck to the outskirts towards the vacant lot beside it.

  There you both were, sat upon a crumpled wall, admiring a winter's afternoon like a pair of Humpty Dumpty’s. The sun was bright in the sky, threatening to melt the world entirely. The first inklings of spring graced reality. The robins were chirping, hopping around in search of food nearby. Adorable feathered critters, so fluffy. They reminded Johnny of Christmas as one turned its neck beside him, curiously looking up into his black eyes. Both were inquisitive of the other.

  "He looks like you-," your half whisper broke out into the air too loudly. The disturbance made the robin jolt and fly off.

  Johnny sighed, "Man, he got so close this time. You just had to go and ruin it didn't you?"

  "I'm sorry. Was there a spiritual connection happening? How rude of me!" You gasped with a hand over your heart.

  He shook his head, grinning because he wasn't angry about it at all. "He was a cute little guy though…"

  "Hence why I said he looked like you." You clarified.

  Johnny exploded with a blush, shaking his head again, "You must've hit your head when you fell on the ice earlier."

  "My head is not any worse off than it was before, thank you very much!" You defended yourself.

  "You know, the first sign of someone tellin’ porkies is denial, right?"

  "I am not tellin’ porkies!"

  "Are too-," Johnny countered, nudging you with his elbow.

  "Am not!"

  Falling back into that effortless banter made you both grin like chessy cats. It was silly, but very much needed. You knew Johnny got extra embarrassed whenever you'd start complimenting him, especially in the looks department. You didn't say these things just to throw him off, but because you truly meant them. Johnny was cute. One of the cutest guys you'd seen in a longtime. Maybe he wasn't moviestar handsome like Sodapop, but girls were missing out when they overlooked him. He had his own things to bring to the table; loyalty, kindness, abiding the law… Just to name a few. You suddenly shook these thoughts out of your head, deciding if you went too deeply down this path that it was best not to be done in Johnny’s presence. Lest you were to blabber about it like you'd done to your other friends who'd told you to ask him out already. They just didn't understand how delicate the matter was really. Johnny wouldn't say yes anyway.

  "Hey look! Those cats are back," Johnny quietly hissed by your side, pulling you out of your daze.

  You followed his line of sight and sure enough the two male felines were there. Lithe in nature and mean looking. A skinny orange tabby trotted forward, a snaggle tooth protruding from his mouth. By his side was his black Bombay counterpart, scraggy bodied with dirty fur and a distinct chip taken from his ear. They were silent, far from their former glory days when they knew what a good home was. The Bombay was a little bigger than his cheddar companion, and it was easily understood by any human looking in that a pact had been formed between them through a necessity to survive. The pair of you had spied them before, a distrusting set that initially hissed and growled. They were all claws and teeth so you kept your distance to avoid any surprise visits to the clinic. However now they seemed to tolerate your presence, acting as if the silence you exuded exempted your existence. Johnny and you admired them, goofy grins on your faces, because the cats were ready to commit their timely crime of hunting for some grub of the day. You knew who they reminded you of.

  "Well if that ain't Dally and Tim," You consciously made the effort to whisper.

  Johnny nodded in agreement, "Yeah, I can see it."

  "Which one's which?" You asked, genuinely curious about Johnny's take.

  He was reluctant to take his eyes off the cats, watching them begin prowling forth towards an unsuspecting robin. "Huh?" he hummed, finally looking at you just as you leaned your head on his shoulder.

  "Which cat is Dally and which one is Tim? You know 'em better than I do." You pressed softly.

  "Oh, that's easy, Dally's the ginger tabby and Tim's the Bombay." He offered with a nod of his head in the felines direction.

  "What why?" You demanded it up at him.

  “Well if we’re goin’ off their looks for a start, Tim looks like the Bombay cat. Guy is a real alley cat – got a lot of street smarts and carries himself well. Besides, he's tougher than a bag of nails.” Johnny did have a point – Tim looked just like that black cat with his curly jet hair.

  Speaking of the black cat, it had entered a state of hunting, kneeling down with coiled taught muscles – just ready to pounce on that unsuspecting robin below, pecking at the seeds you and Johnny had left behind earlier. You hoped it wouldn’t be eaten, couldn’t stomach to see something so savage. However, you supposed that was only the way the circle of life worked.

  “The orange tabby’s Dally cuz of that cool look in his eyes. The way he carries himself so freely. Out of the two, the tabby’s the one that’s in charge somehow. He writes the rules that the other cat’s always tryna best.” Johnny offered with a brief shrug before continuing, “Not that the black cat is following any rules. Both have minds of their own.”

  Boy, you could really hear the way he admired Dallas Winston from the way he spoke about the orange tabby. It was wholesome. Dally was Johnny’s hero — the kid practically worshipped the ground the guy walked on. You didn’t see why. To you, Dallas Winston was a rotten hoodlum with a track record of breaking the law in every way, shape and form that he could. He frightened you like The Boogeyman had when you were nine. Where you both engaged with each other somewhat cordially, you preferred to keep your distance. You supposed that you had no room to judge after all. There was a deep friendship that had developed between him and Johnny; you’d seen it in Dally’s cold hard eyes… affection. It made you grin then, wondering if Johnny thought strangely of your heroes too.

  “And both of them are jackasses.” You countered, bumping his shoulder mischievously.

  Johnny laughed a little, looking at you for a few short moments. “Yeah alright, I’ll give you that.”

  You liked the way he’d described the two though. It was a statement that fit the pair of hoodlums in a peapod together. Yet the orange tabby did appear to be the leader as it licked its wonky chops delectably. Inched closer by the second, a silent assassin to carry out its hunter gatherer lifestyle. It was intelligent, mimicking the movement of the robin that had caught onto it. It lured the bird on a swift and winding course, swiping for it good and hard but missed. Never mind. The robin fluttered up and into the line of sight of the black cat, a moment of fear in its beady eyes. Yet just as the night-like feline swept its razors at it, the robin burst into the air and flew off in the opposite direction. It had missed its meal by a feathers length. Every other robin in the vicinity flew off instantly, leaving the two cats dumbfounded.

  In frustration, the orange tabby yowled and darted forth. Its clawed paw zipped out and popped the mouth of the black cat. The black cat hissed, stunned for a mere second before it lunged for the only comrade it had in this god forsaken world. The two tumbled together in an infuriated Halloween special of blurred fur. A gasp floated from your mouth as they rolled back and forth. A genuine cat fight unheard of. They sounded like two ghouls trying to out spook the other – alien and loud.

  Johnny couldn’t help but laugh out of nervousness. He wasn’t trying to be cruel whatsoever. Didn’t like to see animals fighting and hurting each other, but it humoured some sick part of him. “Just like Dally and Tim, huh? Buddies one minute then at each other’s throats the next.”

  “Amen to that.” You found the humour of the situation, only because it was too similar to the real life hoodlums you both knew.

  You’d seen your fair share of those guys beefing it out in the past together in The Dingo parking lot, let alone practically in your own backyard. They were a strange duo – too competitive and cut from the same cloth. They’d never find another person just like them, that was for sure.

  Just then an icy gust came throttling through the area, reminding you both that it was still winter. A tremor ran through the pair of you, and you huddled together for warmth. By now the cats had slumped off to their own corners of the lot, hissing and growling as they went. Sore egos and bodies made them sulk and mewl in the shade whilst they licked their wounds.

  “Dammit-,” your teeth chattered, moving closer to Johnny. “March my ass…”

  Johnny breathed a laugh, shaking his head. He scanned your features humorously, those bushy brows hidden by a thick blanket of his black greasy bangs that flopped onto his forehead.

  “What?” You mumbled, your fingertips unconsciously reached for him in the space between you both. Johnny didn’t notice.

  He stared at you for a good three seconds before opening his mouth to speak, “How can you be cold with all those layers you got on?”

  “Well I mean it’s obvious, it’s winter.”

  “Uh-huh-,” Johnny sassed, smirking slightly, “As if you ain’t wearin’ my shirt, my sweater and my jeans jacket too. Got the whole department store on your back.”

  Abashment took hold of you as your gaze dropped down to inspect yourself. There was Johnny’s jacket on you, and underneath his tattered grey sweater, that black t-shirt poking up above the collar. And Johnny? He was adorned in a wrinkled white shirt with a blue and creamy egg yellow flannel over the top you guessed was one of the gang’s. Worn over that was Dally’s brown leather jacket with the cosy sheepskin lining. You pouted with a bruised ego, looking off to the side, “It’s not like you’re naked or nothin’…” you murmured petulantly.

  Johnny chuckled breathily, your joined hands jostling as he tugged on it without any semblance of awareness, as if to gain your attention. “Not yet, but I’m gonna be! Man, do you know what I had to say to get this jacket from Dally?” He was teasing you.

  “Mmmppppffff…” you grunted, crossing your legs on that wall.

  “The guys are askin’ questions and I dunno what to tell ‘em any more!” His voice broke a bit before he continued, “Two thinks I’m preparin' to run down the centre of town butt naked!”

  That made you burst out into fits of giggles. The thought was so unorthodox it was hilarious. “You’re tellin’ him that’s the truth right? God, could you imagine? I can see the news articles now: Johnny Cade, Teenage Delinquent Gone Buck Wild!” You beamed, throwing your free hand out to elaborate some unseen picture.

  Johnny shook his head again, laughing with you, “Man, you’re just as bad as Soda!”

  “I’m twice as good looking too!” You offered with all the cheekiness you could muster.

  All he could offer was an entertained roll of his eyes. Your shoulders bumped together, old comrades turned into something more. His soft gaze fell onto your interwoven fingers, and his heart fluttered like dove wings. A widened gaze, then that notorious blush exploded under that tanned flesh. His mind was incapable of functioning. It was wholesome, but you read everything wrong. Made a move to release his hand and he stopped you.

  "Don't." It was the strongest word you'd heard from him as he held your hand tighter than he ever had before. Not enough to hurt you, but to let you know it was real too.

  "Y-you sure?" It was your turn to stutter.

  The look he shared with you may have been wavering to some degree, but there was certainty in those eyes. His mouth opened to speak, "Yeah, I don't mind one bit."

   I don't mind one bit. It ran round and round in your head. A starstruck expression invaded your beautiful countenance. The reassurance was a bonus that made your belly fill with a plethora of butterflies. Cloud nine had nothing on this moment.

  Johnny explored the expressions flitting across your face with a newfound sense of wonder. That pleasant delight racing through you was infectious as you stared off into the junk riddled vacant lot, your mind preoccupied with his hand in yours. The sun dawned across your features once again, like that autumn night you'd spent with him in your neighbourhood's vacant lot. The understanding that he was the source of that made his belly squirm, a giddiness overcoming him. He could no longer deny the fondness he had for you so blatantly.

  With him leaning a little closer to you, he whispered, "How about you give me at least some of my stuff back?" 

  "Mmmmm maybe,"

  "yn-," there was an uncommon sense of sternness in his voice.

  "But-," You tried objecting.

  "No buts-," he rushed out with a shake of his head, "At least give me one! I've been wearing this shirt for three days now!" He was hilariously incredulous.

  "Is that why you stink?" You taunted him.

  "Not funny-," He made his best attempt to be cross with you.

  "Okay, okay! I'll give them back." You said begrudgingly.

  "You better bring the cavalry with how much you have stolen from me, you little shirt thief."

  "In my defence, you did give them to me… But I'll have them for you next time I see you, scouts honour!" You spoke sincerely with your free hand held dramatically over your heart.

  "Uh-huh, that's what you said last time and I still didn't get 'em back." He bantered.

  "Well, that wasn't a real scout's honour." You admitted with a diffident rub to the back of your head.

  "yn-," he shook his head.

  "Hey! I'm serious this time."

  "Good…" He trailed off, his other hand beginning to play with the rings banded around your fingers absentmindedly.

  Blissfulness carried upon the wind, a promise of returning what wasn't yours already settled. Golden light broke through the clouds, catching Johnny in the face directly, which made him grimace evidently. You grew lost in his handsome physique, feeling the pad of his thumb drag up and down the back of your hand. The sensation was special, because Johnny had warmed up to you so much.

  It was a lively Saturday night, and with the determined honour of a scout member, you showed up like clockwork with a bag filled with Johnny's things. It was just as the crowds at The Nightly Double encroached upon the Tulsa streets in boisterous droves. Everyone was high on the giddy delight of the movie they had just watched – the late night viewing of two specials before the drive-in closed its doors for the night. Previous arrangements with another friend had you missing out on the fun, but here you were wearing your very own leather jacket with Johnny's denim one bunched up nervously in the palms of your hands. Speaking of Johnny, he had tagged along with the gang – minus Darry, because movies seemed to bore the older man to death.

  A pair of scrawny looking Socy guys stalked out of the front doors, acting like big shots, cutting in front of a dark green Corvair on its way out and into the oncoming traffic. The driver of the same social class hung out of the driver's window whilst his girl attempted to pull him back in.

  "Hey watch it, wise guys! If you're lookin' to get your asses run over, then be my guests and step back in my line of sight!" He snarled aggressively before his girlfriend won the battle and pulled him back inside to tell him to "knock it off".

  A line began to form behind them as the couple argued incessantly, presumably over the guy's foul temper. Car horns honked on the spring breeze, forcing the guy to nervously step on the gas. They almost crashed into a Chevy Impala before zipping off home. You could see the animated scowl of the girl refusing to talk to her boyfriend in the side view mirror as they retreated. She glowered at you as if you were the scum of the earth. It didn't make you feel too hot.

  The two wisecracking Soc's cackled at their attempts at being hard, stalking forth when they caught sight of your lonesome form. Vile cackles were shot your way as they walked past you before deciding the better option was to encircle you like a couple of hammerhead sharks.

  'Boy, these dingbats don't know what tree they're barking up.' You thought, stiffening your body up for any form of unexpected physical contact. You weren't gonna let yourself get blown over that easy. 

  "What's up, greaser? You lookin' to bum around on our streets?" The six foot tall pencil with the sour breath sneered down at you, bumping your shoulder, making a come around to your left. When he disappeared behind you, the other one with chestnut hair the texture of straw invaded your face.

  "Yeah, who said you were allowed round these parts anyway?" He jeered, smacking his gum obnoxiously.

  Typically these dorks wouldn't have been graced with so much of your attention, but being on your own with a whole sea of onlookers made you weary. However you sure didn't show it. No one was there to stand up for you so you had to do it yourself. All you could do was raise your eyebrows, feeling the burning sense of humiliation rise from the pits of hell beneath your feet. It felt toasty, but the wrong kind. A glower of pure vexation was sent up their way. 'Who are these cocky jackasses, anyway? I've got the same right to use these streets like anyone else!' You contemplated.

  "Oh really? I never knew white trash chequerboards like yourselves owned the streets everybody walks on." Your lips flapped wryly before you could even say a word.

  The entertained gazes of onlookers of every social class stopped to stare. Murmurs of speculation broke out: Two against one didn't typically seem like a fair fight, but with the sheer scrawniness of the socially elite, it seemed to look like the chips fell in your favour. Though you knew appearances could be deceiving, harbouring a surprising sense of physical strength.

  In a rift of the crowd, six pairs of familiar eyes honed in on your shining moment of unprovoked confrontation.

  "White trash chequerboards?!" The pencil growled out, sharing a glance with his straw haired counterpart. For the most part they were dumbfounded, not having expected you to stand up for yourself.

  "If anyone's white trash, it's you, greaseball." The second one jutted his finger in your face.

  Nothing about your countenance betrayed you. Cold and detached you stared at that finger in your face with a deep sense of boredom. Then an almost smug smirk etched your features as you stared up into his grey eyes.

  "Oh my, my!" A dripping sense of mocking venom entered your tone. "Seems like I got more class than that finger you got pointed at me. Seriously, you got a licence to be armed with carryin' that thing? You better watch what you do with it before it falls into the wrong hands. You know, because with great power comes great responsibility and all." You were armed with so much sass it made you invincible.

  The crowd surrounding you burst into a fit of laughter so potent that it burnt these punks into a startled pile of ash. The pair of Soc's were so vapid that they were a bore even to themselves, which is why they were acting out as if they were five times their sizes. You were lively, armed with a silver tongue that could slice just about anyone to pieces who tried to humiliate you.

  "Oh yeah, you little punk?" The first one growled, invading all sense of your personal space.

  You took one step back, your eyebrows raised, "It's his responsibility, not mine. Whatch'yu gettin' all riled up for, eh? Can't take a joke, Mister Funny?"

  "I'll show you a joke when I knock your two front teeth out." He barked.

  Oooh's and aaah's broke through the crowd on a symphony of guffawing. You cocked one eyebrow up at him, a cockiness overcoming you. What could you do otherwise? If no one had your back, you had to have your own. That was just the way the cookie crumbled when you were a greaser – if there was a cookie at all.

  "Oooooh~ Don't threaten me with a good time, pencil dick." You snorted. "I will bend your ass like a goddamn pretzel before you can even have a chance to beg for your mommy to save you."

  The two guys shared a look, the degradation burning their senses of pride to withering embers. Their faces were pinkened beyond recognition, boarding on a fiery red. Your insults only poured gasoline on the fires. They couldn't back out now with the engrossed mass around the three of you. Your body stiffened as they went to grab you, preparing yourself for a fight that would no doubt cause the fuzz to come shutting it down. The image of yourself being cuffed in the back of a cop car had you overcome with a sense of terror. You weren't made for jail with your sharp tongue and sass. Wouldn't last two seconds flat in a grim place like that.

  Before any contact could occur, a boisterous New York accent throttled into the air, a familiar arm slinking over your shoulders, "Hey Dumb and Dumber, you really wanna go gettin' your asses handed to you by a girl in front of all of these people?" Dallas was snickering with a smoke hanging out of his mouth, leaning against you smoothly as he patted your upper arm, but he wasn't your only saviour.

  The other five lean and hard looking members of the Curtis gang had rolled up in all of their greasy headed glory. Pony and Johnny were Dally's flanks whilst Sodapop and Steve jammed themselves on either side of the pathetic turkeys that had bothered you. Two-bit prowled like a cat, that smug, wild grin carved onto his handsome features. The oldest of the six came in the centre of the perpetrators, an arm slung on each of their shoulders. It was overly friendly, even for Two.

  "Well, well, well, if it ain't the socially elite barking up a tree they didn't know was a mountain! I'd get your eyes checked if I were you." He laughed, squeezing them together under his impressive arms. The others joined in.

  "I think it's time these tuff lookin' sons of bitches got in the ring with the big shots." Steve yipped sarcastically, clapping the straw haired guy on the back a little too roughly.

  "Lookin' like a bunch of heavyweight champs, am I right?" Soda leered, his once kind blue eyes filled with a mischievous malice.

  The two Soc's looked at each other, realising they'd made a mistake in targeting you. "We don't want any trouble." The first one said, fumbling.

  "Yeah! We was only just jokin' around." The other made a pitiful attempt at joining in on the laughter.

  "Oh really now?" Dally quipped through dragon's breath, plucking his smoke from his lips and wiping the back of his index finger under his nose like he was annoyed. "I call bullshit, beanpole. Ain't that right, Johnny?" Dally asked Johnny, motioning towards him.

  With a black gaze as cold as obsidian, Johnny nodded his head, "Sure thing, Dally." He refused to take his gaze off of the perpetrators who recognised that hoodlum's menacing name anywhere.

  "Pony?" Dally turned, looking over your head at the fourteen year old greaser with the greyish green eyes. He put that smoke back in between his lips and inhaled sharply.

  "Yup!" Pony popped the 'p' at the end of the word.

  "Great, it's settled!" Dally exclaimed, pulling his arm from over your shoulders and rubbing his hands together like a fly with an evil plan. He stepped forward, his face a mere couple of inches from theirs. "You dumbasses get to go toe to toe with me for fucking with the wrong person, and then my buddies will have what's left of you. How do you like the sound of that?" 

  The way Dally seethed it even had you shaking in your boots. There was almost a sense of honour riding on your guts. It wasn't everyday that Dallas Winston was standing up for you, but when it happened you took it willingly. The two guys had become pale ghosts, shuddering with sweat dewing their foreheads. Dally meant those words, but it seemed he was mainly toying with them. So were the rest of the gang too. With matching Cheshire grins plastered on their faces they watched as the two shoved past Soda, tripping over the boot Johnny had stuck out and shot in through an opening in the crowd to salvation. Sent to faceplant on the ground with a series of laughter as the drama seemed to be over for the most part and people lost interest.

  "Where are you goin'? Wait until we set her on ya!" Sodapop called, wrapping his arm around Steve's shoulders. 

  "Yeah, she may seem like she’s all bark, but she's got one hell of a bite!" Steve cackled.

  Lost in an ocean of chaos, Johnny's inquiry of concern for you slithered back down his throat. He bled into the background, admiring the way your eyes rolled as the wisecracking descended upon you.

  "The hell was that, kid?" Dally said between inhaling his smoke. Rubbing the top of your head with his ringed fingers awarded him with a generous shove from you. His treatment hurt, but he was happy to see you, which was unusual.

  "Get offa me-," You grunted and he eventually relented.

  Before Steve could chime in about you being a smart ass or wandering around on your lonesome, your most dreaded member of the gang came blundering on over. A half drunken stupor holding him up by some invisible string, "Haha! Where did you learn to talk like that? Dare I say you got some inspiration from somebody in particular?" He waggled his eyebrows at you.

  "Oh, well ain't those the biggest words you’ve ever said! Ugh, don’t make me sick, two cents." You bit at him.

  "Eh, at least I'm worth somethin' in this world." He chuckled, clapping your shoulder.

  "That was meant to be an insult." You retorted.

  "Really? That's a whole compliment and a half!" He exclaimed with his arms thrown up.

  "Yeah yn, I sure can hear the church bells ringin' right now!" Soda grinned at you, cupping his free hand over his ear. In fact, to seal the deal he wrapped his arm around your shoulders as the seven of you began walking to your neighbourhood.

  Steve came up on the other side, walking the tight line of the curb, "From haters to lovers!" He beamed, spreading his palms out in the open space before you like he was presenting a far away picture. "It all started when you were in fifth grade and he was in sixth, gum to the hair, a pop to the mouth and the rest was history!"

  Johnny listened and observed, laughing halfheartedly along with his buddies. Something about Soda's and Steve's words tugged on his heartstrings in a plucking fashion. It was uncomfortable and didn't sit right with him. Yet he couldn't be too mopey about it, it wasn't like anybody knew his growing feelings for you. By now there was a confusion in your friendship, as if all these special moments you'd experienced together had evolved the friendship into something else. He was afraid of what that meant. Things would never be the same ever again, and he found himself eyeing up the bag full of his clothes on your shoulder and his jeans jacket wadded into your hand.

  Well, at least your promise had been genuine this time.

  If you weren't riled up before you were now. A sucker punch to the gut was minutely dodged by Steve, who hopped to safety behind Dallas like a kangaroo. Being surrounded by people you knew was nice as the mood settled somewhat. Johnny found his natural place to the left of you, keeping in time with your easy pace.

  Sodapop raised his eyebrows and asked the question everyone had been wondering, "Hey yn, what were you doing there all alone?"

  "Ain't that Steve's line?" You quipped.

  “Gettin’ to be more and more like Ponyboy everyday, yn!” Steve warned, messing up Pony’s hair for comedic relief.

  Pony was certainly not pleased, pulling his comb out of his back pocket and using the sideview mirror of a car to fix his hair in the dark. “Stupid Steve…” grumbled past his lips.

  “What was that?” Steve barked next to Soda.

  “Nothin’, said I looked stupid…” He lied with burnt cheeks and ears to match.

  "That's what I thought, little guy." Steve stared at him.

  Once the commotion had somewhat settled Dally eyed you up and spoke through his smoke, “Soda’s got a point. What were you doing there?” He noticed that bag over your shoulder and whistled, “Did your goody two shoes ass get kicked out or are you just droppin’ by to bid your farewells on us common folk before you skip town?”

  Put on the spot, you hesitated for a second, “Uh, I just came to see Johnny.”

  “With the entire mall's inventory?” Two grinned wickedly, pressing for more information. "Johnny's become quite the charity case lately." He teased, noogying Johnny playfully who shrugged him off with a small laugh.

  “Hey wait a sec, isn't that Johnny’s jeans jacket?” Pony spoke up once his precious hair had been rearranged.

  Dallas’s pesky fingers swiped the jacket in your hands with a mind of his own – and like a chimp, he examined its authentication closely. The five other members gathered around him as if he held the fifth wonder, which left you and Johnny with the liberation of simultaneously backing up at the edges of the throng. “You wanna make a break for it?” You hissed your suggestion at Johnny, who nodded his head.

  That’s when five heads whipped up with dumbfounded expressions. This was Johnny’s jacket! The one he said he’d lost. Soda’s eyes were the first to eye up that bag strapped to your shoulder, a familiar grey sweater poking out through the zipper that wouldn't close properly. “Hold on one stinkin’ minute.” Realisation hit him with a dopey grin.

  Two caught on next, his hand grasping the bag strap and pulling it from your shoulder. In the same motion he’d freed the grey sweater from the confines, only to find more clothes underneath. “Haha!” He cackled noisily, “You’re the one who’s been swiping his clothes? You sly fox!”

  “Johnny and yn sitting in a tree-,” Steve cackled, only to get cut off by Dally who smacked him in the chest.

  “What are you man, four?”

  “Four?! I’ll show you four!”

  “Oh glory-,” You mumbled, looking at Johnny, “I think I made a mistake.”

  “You think?” He hissed, his tone was somewhat biting, looking scared stiff for the incoming of terrible teasing.

  "Johnny's got a girlfriend! Johnny's got a girlfriend!" Soda and Two started chanting, patting and shaking their pal with enthusiasm. It wasn't long before the other three started in on it too. The chant of the year belted out from strong chests on shrill wails of hyena laughter.

  "Check him out, famous ladies man! I knew you had it in ya Johnny." Dally clapped his back.

  "Should've known you were stealing my girl, Johnny." Two teased. "You can have her the first five days of the week, but I call dibs on weekends! That's when she gets extra sassy."

  "In your dreams, two shits." You barked.

  "I dream of sixth grade every night!" Two swooned, making you laugh.

  Johnny was as red as a beet, even Ponyboy couldn’t contain his laughter. 'Boy, do we have something to tell Darry!' Pony's and Soda's eyes gleamed dazzlingly.

  "Eh, guess you won't be needing this!" Dally grinned from behind you both, softly tugging on his leather jacket Johnny was wearing. In one fell swoop it was off of his shoulders and draped over Dally’s humble forearm.

  “Here you go, young sire!” Sodapop bowed with a roll of his hand, an English accent flawlessly executed.

   In came Steve on one knee, holding up the humble denim article he'd swiped from Dally's pesky digits. “Oh Johnny, with all of my love for you, will you take this humble offer?” he exclaimed dramatically.

  Johnny snatched the jacket from Steve’s gripey hands, along with the bag of his shirts you’d brought along from Two-bit. He was embarrassed, that was evident. Wished you’d done this at a different time, but hey, duty called; a promise was a promise. Scout’s honour, right?

  Without even thinking he grabbed your hand in his, reeling you away from the madness, all sassy. “Alright, that’s enough now!”

  A chorus of wolf whistles expelled into the air. Wildness evident in the five guys who'd grown up with the both of you. They were just playing of course, excited that Johnny finally had a lady in hand. It wasn't often the raven haired greaser picked someone up, let alone initiated any physical contact – romantically of course. Johnny had always been quite reserved, but here he was taking the initiative, pulling you around in the opposite direction of them. Surprisingly assertive despite him shaking like a goddamn ghost.

  You guys got maybe a few feet away when Dallas called out on the wind, “Hey yn, you better not be takin’ off the clothes on Johnny's body or he’ll be arrested for public indecency!”

  "I said that's enough!" Johnny called back, heat vivid on his cheeks.

  With that you both escaped around the next corner, the gang's calls and laughter fading into the background. Dipped into an alleyway to lose them for good. Glory knew they'd follow you both, and Johnny couldn't bear the thought of that. There was exhilaration in your chests. Johnny's hand was hot and sweaty in yours when you wound onto Pickett and Sutton. The air felt tight and you were afraid you'd just made an inconsolable mess of everything.

  “Honest to God Johnny, that wasn’t planned-,”

  He was sour, scrunching up his face, “Shoulda just let you keep these things.” He said with a smile pulling up the corners of his mouth. “They looked better on you anyway.”

  “Johnny Cade,” you gasped, stopping in the middle of the street, the yellow light from above illuminating you both, “was that you flirting with me?”

  Albeit clumsy, he was endearing. “Maybe, I dunno.” His cheesy grin warmed your heart.

  All you could do was gawk at him.

  “Look, all I know is that I kinda don’t mind you stealing my crap, okay?”

  “So I have special authority to steal? What is this, a secret mission for your girlfriend?” You grasped onto his arm, leaning into him.

  Girlfriend settled in the air in a peculiar fashion. It had never been uttered before, you both had just been friends up until this point. The confusion between you both seemed to fizzle away. The term sounded right. Johnny didn't want to be your friend any more, the guy on the sidelines dreaming of being with you. He swallowed thickly, looking at you.

  "I'm sorry I-," he cut you short.

  "Nah don't be." He shook his head softly.

  "So uh," you breathed a laugh, "that means we're like dating? " You tested the word on your tongue.

  He exploded with a blush, and a sense of pride swelled in your heart. "Y-yeah-," he nodded softly.

  It went quiet, but nothing was awkward about it. Two hearts galloped like wild horses through summer filled fields. You found the courage to speak first, whispering mischievously into his ear, "So what about that secret mission?"

  Johnny rolled his eyes, but breathy humour expelled from his lips, “Operation Shirt Thief!” He said in his best movie man trailer voice.

  You burst out in a fit of giggles, the walk home feeling bountiful and warm.

✧･ﾟ: *✧･ﾟ:* 　　 *:･ﾟ✧*:･ﾟ✧

please like, reblog and follow for more!

requests: closed!

#johnnycade #johnny cade #johnny cade x reader #johnny cade imagines #johnny cade headcanons #the outsiders #the outsiders imagines #the outsiders headcanons #the outsiders x reader #the outsiders johnny cade #the outsiders johnny cade x reader #the outsiders johnny cade imagines #the outsiders johnny cade headcanons #i hope you enjoyed!!

[hopelessdazai]

Dazai and female s/o being each other first time?

✿ 》Those Promises Of Yours.

╰⧼ 🪻 note.. ⧽ ; I got you anon. coming right up. [ holy shit zai update. apologies for my absence once again, writing hasn't been a priority recently but I'll try to start up again :) feel free 2 send in vague concepts / thirsts pls ]

╰⧼ 🌙 contents.. ⧽ ; dazai x f!reader, nsfw, slight corruption from dazais end but its still all consensual, vague mention of self harm once, dazai can't keep his fuckin promises, slightly rough sex, no aftercare but it's hinted at + he's soft at the end anyway. I suck at dialogue.

dazai osamu was a womaniser, a player anything but loyal.

that was something that everyone had learnt to know and only some could bring to love. this fact wasn't foreign to you, and neither was it ignored. though you certainly hadn't anticipated that he himself was a virgin.

so you found yourself in his lap in your apartment. he'd refused to take you back to his, claiming "a princess such as yourself should have the luxury of familiarity," but you could've easily called his bluff with the stench of alcohol on his breath. the place was probably ridden with bottles and signs of his lowest mental points.

he'd never been good at being vaunrable anyway.

dazai fumbles with your shirt, his hands shakily trying to unbutton them in a way that would hopefully erase the concept he didn't know what he was doing. you took it upon yourself to close your hand over his, giving him a soft smile, which he returned. you could almost smell the anxiety dripping from his body. was he sweating?

"it must be the drugs," he mumbles, finding an excuse. his voice is hoarse, tense, even. nothing like the usual confidence he carried himself with; his tone had never been anything but smug. and you liked this side of him. you loved it.

"you're sober." you respond, your tongue had carried nothing but truthfulness this entire time. and you were nervous too. the vaunrability that was required of both of you was enough to keep your mouth without a lie. he laughs breathily, sliding your shirt from your shoulders and unclasping your bra with only mild difficulty.

"I could be masking, no?" the brunette begins, his hand sliding down under your skirt to tap at the inside of your thigh. your breath hitches. "I've always been rather good at hiding when I'm high. you should know that." you shake your head. he didn't smell like any drug. just him. just dazai.

"you're being too conscious to be high." you respond, working to undress him back. it'd be too awkward if you were the only one shirtless, your mind wasn't foggy yet. but you still couldn't get rid of the ache between your legs. he was all you needed.

dazai doesn't respond, merely wrapping a hand around your neck and pulling you into a kiss. he was acting, you could feel it. none of his gestures were the same as how you'd see him treat the ladies he'd woo at the bar. it felt real, raw. you kiss him back.

he helps you undress him, you find yourself in a state where the only covers you both possess are your underwear. completely at each others mercy, vaunrable.

he wasn't sure if he hated it or not.

dazai brings a hand down to pull your underwear aside, collecting your wetness with his middle finger. it almost felt like he himself was adjusting to your anatomy, figuring where he'd have to touch to make you feel good. he'd always spoken about wanting to give you the best experience he could.

you wince at the intrusion as he slides his finger into you, feeling him bend down to gently kiss your forehead as he worked you apart like woolen scarfs in the autumn. the warmth of a promise to carry you through to the next spring. an unvoulentary whimper leaves your lips as he brushes against a certain spot, and you swear his eyes darken a shade.

dazai had promised himself he'd make sure it wouldn't hurt for you. he promised that he'd gently ease you in. he'd promised a lot of things. but after seeing you like this, you might as well slice his pinky finger clean off.

he doesn't quite know what's coming over him when he lays you down on the couch, pulling your underwear completely down and tossing them somewhere in the room, he didn't care. he slides a second finger into you and almost lets out a gasp at how you tighten.

he'd promised to be gentle.

"osamu." you whisper, your voice almost foreign to you. his eyes met yours, then did his lips. you'd felt how desperate he'd become, sloppy open mouthed kisses where his tongue tried to cherish your taste for all eternity. maybe calling him by a name he'd never heard wasn't the best idea.

he pulls away, pulling his fingers out and making quick work of shuffling his boxers off. gently sliding his cock in-between the warmth of your folds, daring to slide in without the prep he knew you would've needed.

the prep he promised.

he meets your gaze, noticing the slight fear in your eyes. he knew it'd hurt you, dazai knew damn well the pain the stretch would cause. but something about those eyes of yours, something about the look of fear. it was almost like he didn't care. he didn't mind breaking a promise.

"..hold your breath." He mutters, gradually sliding himself into you, and you let out a whine, trying to hold your breath like instructed. he felt your nails dig into his back. they'd be nice marks to tattoo permanently, maybe you'd be a healthier method of drawing his own blood. his pelvis pressed against yours

he smiled as you let out a shaky exhale, staying still to allow you at least a small adjustment period. cupping your cheeks as a tear fell down your cheek. fuck. he couldn't even find it in him to feel bad anymore. you were so warm.

you'd only managed to focus your eyes to look up at him for a second, before clenching them shut as he snapped his hips against yours. it stung, you could feel the trickle of blood.

"ah- 'samu-.. wait-!" was all you could manage to say, hearing his breath get heavier as he set himself a pace. he wasn't waiting for you to adjust anymore, he wasn't waiting for anything. if he could prioritise himself once, this was the time.

"shh-.. shh.. 'tll feel good. I promise. fuck-" his voice broke, moving a hand to hold onto your thigh, pushing it up to meet your shoulder. you were never this flexible, it almost stung. but you couldn't do anything but trust him.

and something about it did feel good. even as the burn hit you from more areas then you would've liked; something about the desperation behind how dazai fucked you and how he was using you to relieve his stress. it felt good. you enjoyed to be used like this.

your mind fogged, feeling him hit that one spot inside you repeatedly, you were struggling to breathe. struggling to think straight, struggling to focus on anything but the man inside of you. and dazai seemed the same. his mouth half open and bangs out of order, hanging in front of his eyes. you could hear his heavy breaths and faint whines. and it only turned you on further.

your nails dug into his back, the only sensation you processed was his thumb rubbing your clit as you hit your high, chanting out his name like a mantra as he chuckled, his thrusts becoming rougher before he buried himself deep into you, an unfamiliar warmth filling your abdomen. your vision going white.

you almost blacked out for a moment.

"..sweetheart?" a sweet voice called out as you regained your ability to see. dazai's arms were shaking, obviously struggling to keep himself pinned up over you. his eyes were softer, kinder. a man you barely knew. there was a shine of concern in them.

"..are you okay? shit- did I go too far? 'm sorry.. you felt so good.. you're a good girl.." and all you did in response was smile. he'd done enough, he'd always be enough. though the stickiness between your thighs and loss of fullness as he pulled out was mildly discomforting.

"mmhm.. im fine." you reply, feeling him sit himself back, pulling you up and into his arms. pressing you close to him and peppering you with kisses. "I love you.. s'much.. my baby.. im sorry.. i know I broke my promise. i'll get you cleaned up.."

you just smiled. maybe this broken promise wasn't so bad after all.

#bungo stray dogs x reader #bungou stray dogs #bsd x reader #bungo stray dogs imagines #bungo stray dogs x you #bungo stray dogs smut #bungou stray dogs dazai #dazai osamu #bsd dazai #dazai x y/n #dazai smut #dazai osamu x reader #dazai x reader #osamu x you #dazai osamu fic #dazai osamu smut #osamu x reader #osamudazai

[lume-nosity]

an: this is a reupload!! (copy and paste pain) because for some reason my original post wasn’t showing up on the tags?? even my own??? if this doesn’t show up again i’m just gonna leave it as is. also the og’s who saw the post before i took it down are the real ones <3 anyways, requests are closed but i took this as a suggestion because i wanted to do it. when i saw this in my inbox i felt productive/determined to fulfill this ask so you're welcome /Ih and holy shit 2k+ notes on part one you guys are crazy thank you so much i'm so glad you liked it!! you take care of yourself as well dear anon <3

‘i've got my eye on you.’ (pt. 2)

prompt: what would they do if they saw their s/o in an uncomfortable situation

characters: itto, diluc, zhongli, ayato, tartaglia, thoma, kaeya

style: fluff, much fluff

notes: not proofread, lowercase intended, possibly ooc because i used character demos/teasers/ a few voicelines as references, gender neutral reader, the smaller text is whispering, no dialogue/use for [name], kuki shinobu mention in itto's part, how tf do you write zhongli and kaeya, petnames: beloved, treasure, love, swearing, blood mention in tartaglia's part, tartaglia getting a little violent, got lazy while writing the last few portions

reblogs are appreciated!

itto

"HEYYYY THERE YOU ARE!! so uh, are these guys bothering you?"

"huh, so they are. hey! hey, no worries! ill getcha outta here. i'm THE arataki numero uno they’re dealing with."

"hey, so, you're making my lovely super amazing wonderful partner uncomfortable and i would absolutely LOVE it if you leave em alone."

"oh wait, they're already gone. OHHHH did i scare them?? HAHAHAAA, man, that was great. totally worth the scare. anyways! want to have an onikabuto battle? yeah? OKAY! come on, come on, come on!!! i know the best spot to find them. but just so you know, i will beat you this time!"

let me tell you itto's was a lot of fun to write. i don't have to write too seriously!!!

he was looking for you actually, to have a little onikabuto battle since he's determined to win. (despite the many losses he has under his belt)

but seeing you look so uneasy from afar, yeah no he's not having it. ran towards you at mach 20.

one simple glance at him, those creeps are running to their mothers. the best part was that itto was confused as to why they've run off but he assumed it was because of him.

well, he's half right, because what really scared them off was kuki shinobu's shadow quite literally appeared out of nowhere next to you and itto. mvp! you guys weren't aware of her presence, because after they ran off, she just walked away. stealthy. like a boss.

i find it canon that if itto has a s/o shinobu would do anything in her power to keep those two away from trouble/danger. it's her job as deputy leader of the arataki gang, right?

diluc

"look, i'm not interested in small talk, but i'll get straight to the point. if you wish to make things simple for the both of us, see yourselves out. i won't ask again."

"what am i going to do about it? well, wouldn't you like to know." (casually readies his claymore)

"what a bunch of imbeciles. *sigh* i apologize for not arriving here sooner, i'll escort you home."

"you. want to stay with me? alright, i'll arrange a room for you at the winery right away. no? ah. i see. then i suppose my bed would big enough for the two of us to sleep on. are you satisfied with that? good. now let's go."

he isn't the darknight hero for nothing

like the gentleman he is, he was going to accompany you until you get home safely and then exchange goodbyes.

but no, you wanted to stay with him for the night. he has many rooms for the guests to use, but when you in particular suggested to sleep with him in his room, he of course doesn't mind since it's you.

should it be anyone else, it'll be an immediate no. so be glad you get to have this privilege from the guy because he loves you and is willing to do anything for you

zhongli

"pardon the intrusion, but i believe now's the time for the both of us to take our leave. please excuse us."

"it'd be wise for you to not place your indelicate hands onto my beloved. lest you'll see a rather.. grotesque, outcome."

"my dear, are you alright? ... how did i find you, you may ask? oh, please do not underestimate me. i'm far more than what meets the eye."

"we are sharing a contract, after all. to live and cherish life with one another until the end of time, to be safe, filled with tenderness and warmth within our hearts, and to not have anyone interfere that great deal of a bond. for you are my greatest treasure."

rip my brain for having to push zhongli's portion out because it clearly cannot comprehend this man's vocabulary.

you and him are to follow a contract, yes. but it's similar to a confession, if that makes sense?

basically zhongli was the one to confess to you first with his built-in thesaurus (to which you accepted of course if you like him too) and then have you and him sign' this sort of contract as a promise to stick with one another for as long as life can allow it. and by sign...

it's a kiss. to seal the contract :)

ayato

"a pity. hm? yes, i am 'the head of the kamisato clan. but your concerns about my reputation is irrelevant."

"you're harassing my lover, and if i catch you doing this unsightly act once again, then i'm afraid i'll have to resort to something that'll make you wish you've never been born."

"ah, my words were too harsh? nonsense, it was vitally necessary. at least it'd driven them away. well, i guess there are benefits for someone of high status."

"come now, i'll have my staff cook you something to your liking. you are my lover, so they'll be sure to suit your needs. you needn't worry."

fun fact: i've never finished ayato's story quest so i was writing this blind (with the help of some voicelines/demos/teasers, this goes along with the rest of the men on this list)

originally, you two were going on a nightly stroll since he was free but were stopped by a group of creeps. however, ayato handled the matter in his way.

in his head, those creeps are a waste of time and mere bugs because, well, they are. and pathetic, because they immediately recognize him for his high status and they all shrank in his presence. which made things easier for ayato. he made a small threat, and then they zoomed.

afterwards, he wanted to bring you home for dinner instead. continuing to stay out after that ordeal was not an option in his book.

what a good man

tartaglia

"wow, you all are quite bold. daring to do that while i'm here? hah, how risky. i'm actually impressed, by how wrong of a move you've just played."

"say, wouldn't you guys be interested for a sparring session? i'll be delighted to fight you all at the same time to enhance my combative capabilities. no? are you sure? okay, the offer's still on the table you know. and don't think i'm letting you all off so easily."

"love, are you alright? did they hurt you? if they did then i'll be sure to give them the same pain as they did to you. but worse. hm? no? okay, if you insist."

"moving on, let's go home shall we? the more i think about those creeps, the more i'm itching to grab my blades and hunt them down. oh! no, it's nothing. let's move, wouldn't want to stay out for too long."

we all know that he'll definitely end them

the thing is, he was right next to you when it happened and it's almost as if those asshats were blind!!!

blinded by his beauty ig

well, those assholes should sleep with one eye open every night now that tartaglia has seen them.

thoma

"excuse me, my partner and i are in a hurry. we have important business to attend to and we wouldn't want to be late."

"we won't take up the rest of your time, so please, if you'll excuse us."

"phew, that was rough. i didn't like how they were treating you, so i wanted to help you out. oh nonono, there's no need to thank me! as your boyfriend, it's my job to make sure that you're safe and happy at all times!"

"to get your mind off of what happened, i'll cook dinner for you tonight. any preferences? favorites? recipes? ill be sure to write them down!"

thoma based

instead of staying and insulting them, he just makes up an excuse to leave! it saves less time!!

..which shunned the creeps to bits. because you see, to me, people who are as kindhearted as thoma are equivalent to sunshine. and by sunshine i mean blindingly bright.

too nice and polite to the point the creeps are blind and deaf, you get what i mean?

kaeya

"well, well, well, how amusing of you all to act in such a way while i'm here. clearly you weren't cautious about your surroundings nor able to understand the differences between common courtesy and disrespect."

"how do i think so? from what you were displaying a few seconds ago, there's an obvious answer to that. it's allill written in your face. uneasiness. just like my partner."

"run along now, before your feet will run cold."

"ah, please, spare me the thanks. i only did what i had to do. as long as you're safe, that's all that matters to me. now then, allow me to treat you to dinner. it's all on me~"

honestly i got very lost in writing kaya's portion despite listening to his voicelines for like 2-3 times :,)

but, what i can conclude from this is that he'll be the sly bro he usually is with people

except in here, it's a bit different. his words are like that of a snake, wrapping around its prey.

makes sense, because kaeya doesn't stand people who make his s/o uncomfortable. if he scares them off or anything, then so be it. anything to keep you safe.

#✏️ lume writes #genshin #genshin impact #genshin x gn reader #genshin x reader #genshin fluff #itto x reader #diluc x reader #zhongli x reader #ayato x reader #tartaglia x reader #childe x reader #thoma x reader #kaeya x reader #itto fluff #diluc fluff #zhongli fluff #tartaglia fluff #thoma fluff #kaeya fluff

[touchoffleece]

Apology in Advance for the probable incoming Sulemio v Destiel Poll posts.

There are layers to why the dumb ship poll has me feeling so passionate, some are: -Sulemio more or less checked off a Bucket List Want I thought I would die before seeing it become a reality. That being: a Sapphic Anime couple where the main focus and story doesn't revolve around discovering or accepting their sexuality and showing it can be a successful story public perception wise and money wise (G Witch has some of that self discovery stuff but it's like a D or E level plot). And having it so the gay relationship can't be perceived away as besties or sisterhood or with a Bury Your Gays end. -wlw/GL ships constantly getting overshadowed by mlm ships or get played down to hype up mlm ships because "there can only be 1 lgbtqi+ ship" mentality in fandoms. -Sulemio fandom was vibing and more or less quiet until this rewoke us up here on Tumblr. We are all once again speaking and writing deep analytical lengthy posts about how deep, well written and portrayed the love between both characters were not only in subtext but throughly explicit sentences in dialogue or actions of Suletta and Miorine, and the world around them. I am very happy to join in and revisit the awesomeness that their story was since I can't truly replicate the journey that was watching their story as it developed in real time. (Shout out to my 2 het cis male acquaintances who nagged me to give G Witch a shot back when only ep 0 and 1 were out you guys freaking amazing. Bros gave me unforgettable memories.) -But a big one I see not getting talked about a lot is how this match up is giving a big and much needed reality check to western-media-live-action-only-consumers/fans that: Just because something is an animation it does not make that type of art/storytelling/show/whatever you want to call it inferior to live action. A few years back I saw so many west live action tv fans shit endlessly and mercilessly on Magical Girl Utena because of a similar ship poll where it had come down to live action fandom ship vs canon anime ship. (iykyk, I don't want to restart that shit up again since it hurt a lot to watch as someone who liked the ship that was leading but didn't watch Utena-I'm too weak for that hurt- see the show and its contribution towards actual wlw/gl representation get shit on) A lot of the criticisms and punchlines of statements were mocking people for getting attached to cartoons as "grown ass adults"; a criticism any animation enjoyer probably knows all too well. Post so many animation shows in western streaming sites get cancelled or be erased and locked behind vaults because the CEOs think there is no fanbase or value in creating animation, this sentiment more towards animated shows with depth in their stories. I think back to that poll and the ensuing shit show. To think about that back then and see a reflection of that situation with the Ship (Sulemio) that has been stated to be inspired by the ship from Utena (Utenanthy) that was shat on so much by similar media consumers back then who perceived and said animation is a lesser form of storytelling-after seeing so many animation shows I enjoyed get cancelled because of this same sentiment from people thinking no adult wants animation as entertainment- to see Sulemio beat "the greater known" ship from a western live action media show that didn't even want the gay representation associated with itself, it feels like properly bandaging a seeping wound that you were letting "dry out". This all still feels like ship war with ships and fandoms that shouldn't have reason to beef, but the catharsis of seeing such a: powerful, moving, and overall amazing story that is Gundam the Witch from Mercury (free on Youtube to watch btw) and Sulemio's love story get recognized when it still feels like animation as a storytelling device gets looked down upon and has partially been erased, is making me cautiously optimistic that maybe in a few years we can get our amazing in depth animated shows that got taken away because animated storytelling is "just for kids" or "isn't good enough".

#rambles #rants #shower thoughts #sulemio #animation #g witch #gundam the witch from mercury #sapphic thoughts #fandom wank #fandom #fandom meta #lgbtqi+ #media analysis #polls #pop culture #pop culture history #hollywood desperately needs change #ao3topshipsbracket

[avelera]

Avelera's Dreamling Fic Status Update:

Keeping Sanctuary (subscribe for updates here) - Giving Sanctuary Sequel follows Dream and Hob from the events of the altered meeting in 1689 up to the modern era. (aka, What if they hooked up after the 1689 meeting?) Current word count: ~7,000 words across several chapters. Realistic progress update: 1/10 complete total, Ch. 1 is about 1/5 complete.

(The rest are below the cut!)

Come live with me and be my love - Dream and Hob fall in love during the Regency Era when Dream loses a bet to Desire. Shenanigans ensue. (aka, What if they hooked up after the 1789 meeting?) Ch. 16 is at 2,500 words, probably about 1/3 done. Current plan is to wrap up Part 1 in the next few chapters then create a part 2 which finishes out their "1 year of marriage" on a month by month basis instead of following them day to day like Part 1 done. Probably won't be a separate fic though, just a change of format.

This Rough Magic - My take on "Hob rescues Dream from Burgess" with a twist that Hob ends up on Burgess's radar himself when he picked up some occult magic skills in the hopes of contacting Dream after 1889 and apologizing. Now he has to pretend to be friends with Burgess in order to get them both out of there, because Burgess thinks Hob can help force Dream to give him immortality. (aka, What if they hooked up after the 1889 meeting?) Ch. 9 is about 800 words in. Story is still very much in progress I just have a lot of WIPs, as you can see.

Joke's On You (I'm Into That) - The 1589 meeting goes very different when Hob proposes to Dream, who is so offended that he just can't let the matter go. A very angry, very horny competition kicks off between them. (Aka, what if they hooked up in 1589 when they were both at their absolute worst as people?) I have literally 40,000 words written for the rest of this fic. The problem is, there's big gaps in that first draft I have to fill in and scenes that need to be added. This might be my favorite WIP but it's also the hardest to write with all the smut scenes so it'll arrive whenever I can manage, I'm afraid.

Banana Daiquiris Ch. 2 - Comic-canon compliant (mostly) - Dream fakes his death to go on a vacation with Hob and Destruction. They end up in Tahiti. Destruction plays matchmaker. Hob doesn't know whether to thank Destruction or strangle him. Current word count 6,000 words. I've been playing around with adding on to this fic for ages. One of these days, I'll pull it all together.

Great Triumphs and Tragedies - aka, "Dream Accidentally Cursed Hob with a Normal Life" Fic - Dream learns that from 1689 on, Hob's life has been safe. Too safe. Improbably safe. Nothing bad or extraordinary or even terribly special has happened to him since Dream began to consider Hob his friend. He knows this because during his imprisonment, Hob's life became exciting again and suddenly went back to normal the day Dream was freed. Hob is not convinced that Dream is the reason for this, Dream disagrees. They talk about it. And fight about it. And some things that they've probably needed to talk about for a long time finally get said. (aka, sometimes the author just needs to write their weird headcanon into a 20,000 word fic that's almost entirely dialogue). Current word count: 19,000 words and about 80-90% finished. I'm hoping that posting what I've got will help push me through the final stretch.

And for fics that haven't been posted anywhere yet (you can subscribe on my Ao3 author page for alerts about them):

Hob Amesia Fic - Dream and Hob are dating officially now in the 21st century when Hob gets hit with what seems to be a memory loss curse, shaving off 100 years of his life each day until Dream finds a cure. This effectively grants Dream a walk down memory lane as he is reacquainted with the Hob of each era and, in the process, learns how much longer Hob cared for him than Dream ever realized. Current word count: 35,000 words. Currently writing 1489 (1889-1589 are done) and I might re-write the opening. It genuinely kills me not to have this one posted lol.

"Fairy God Marlowe" - 1589 fixit fic where Hob and Kit Marlowe strike up a conversation while Dream and Shaxberd are talking. Hob and Marlowe talk about plays, and faith, and salvation, and queer love, and what it means to live forever. Hob gets a second chance at a first impression. Current word count: ~5,000 words. Sadly, it's all dialogue in script format. I'd need to convert it into prose to publish which would be a slog. So it's a bit shelved until I find the energy to do so. No, I will not post it in script format, I'm allergic to the thought.

I've got a few other concepts kicking around, but these are the ones that actually have (*does a quick calculation*) over 100,000 words written that I haven't had the chance to post yet?? And it's driving me insane????

Anyway, I should probably pin this post for those curious lol. Feel free to ask me any follow-up questions, I love talking about WIPs even as they ruin my life!

#dreamling #maggie's writing progress #dreamling fic update #1689 fic #1589 fic #arranged marriage au dreamling

[nottapossum]

Itty Bitty Sinners 1.11

Possum: Sorry for the late update guys! Family stuff was going on and I got burnt out 🥲I've been struggling to write!But I hope it's okay anyway. It's just wrapping things up, nothing too exciting I don't think.Anywayzzz!

TW: Cursing, Valentino, hidden regression, hidding ones emotions, self doubt, OCD, pressure, sadness, anxiety, panic attacks, (only mentioned) and jazzy jazz jazz song 🎵 😀Lmk if I should add.

~~~Alastor and Niffty:~~~

Alastor returns to his room and gently shakes Niffty awake. “Niffty? Darling, you need to wake up.” Niffty wines. “Mmm why?” She asks. 

“Because you need to go to sleep, it's late.” Alastor says. “It's time for mouselings to be in bed.” 

“I'll sleep here.” Niffty says simply, as if she just solved a problem.

Alastor scoffs. “How very generous of you to offer up my bed to yourself; here's a counter offer: go to your room and sleep there.” Alastor tells her sternly.

Niffty rejects the offer. “No thank you, I want to stay here.”

“And where exactly do you expect me to sleep tonight?” Alastor asks her. 

Niffty shifts slightly and gestures next to her. “There's lots of room!” 

“My, you are so generous, Niffty.” Alastor rolls his eyes. 

Niffty hums. “Alastor?”

“Yes, dear?”

“Is Angel okay?” She asks.

“Angel is fine. I promise.” He says. 

“I'm sorry I stole the papers.” She says. 

“It's alright, dear. You didn't know what they were, did you?” Alastor asks.

Niffty shakes her head. “But I stole.”

“We're in hell, Niffty. There are greater sins.” Alastor says, sitting at his desk to write a letter. 

“Do you think Angel is mad at me?” Niffty asks. 

“Perhaps.” Alastor says, dipping his pen in ink. “But, he'll get over it.” 

“Alastor?” Niffty asks. 

“Yes, dear?” Alastor sighs, turning to her. 

“Can I please bother you just a bit longer?” She asks. “I was alone all day, I don't want to be alone anymore.”

Alastor pauses…

Niffty doesn't bother him. A part of him hates that she thinks that.

But it's better than her thinking he loves her or something. 

He hates to think he just abandoned her all day. He does care for the little mouse.

“Alright, you win. You can stay here tonight, I'll figure something out.” He says, seeming genuine.

“Will you read me a story?” Niffty asks. 

“Do you have any idea what time it is?” Alastor asks her. “You had a long day. You need sleep.”

“Please?” Niffty begs. “I want to read babymouse!”

Alastor sighs. Of course she does. 

Alastor hated himself for this, but he felt as if he owed her this. 

He summons the book, and he sits beside Niffty to read it to her:

“Introducing babymouse; A sassy young mouse…

With an attitude problem.”

Niffty crawls onto his lap, happily listening to the story and looking at the pictures. “Hey!” She says, reading babymouse's text with a laugh. 

Graphic novels are strange in Alastor's opinion, but he reads on: “She dreams of becoming queen of the world…but would settle for an invite to Felicia Furrypaws’ slumber party.”

“I never been to a slumber party, have you, Alastor?” Niffty asks. 

“Can't say I have.” Alastor says. Unless staying at his aunts’ house when he was a child counts.

“No one liked me, so they never invited me to play.” Niffty says. 

Alastor's ears fall, but his smile remains. 

He doesn't understand how someone couldn't adore Niffty. She's a remarkable companion.

“Keep reading!” Niffty demands. 

“Apologies,” Alastor says, continuing the story. 

“Will Babymouse be invited? Will her best friend forgive her if she misses their monster movie marathon? Find out in Babymouse, queen of the world.” Alastor hums. “Few books have a synopsis before the actual book.” 

“What does Babymouse say?” Niffty asks, as if they haven't read this book a million times before. 

Alastor reads Babymouse's dialogue: “You could always just take a peek at the end of the book.” 

Alastor reads the narrators’ reply:  “That would be cheating, babymouse.” 

“You're supposed to do voices!” Niffty complains. 

“You know I don't do voices.” Alastor says to her. 

“Can you try?” Niffty asks. “It's more fun that way.” 

Alastor sighs. “Alright, alright.” 

He continues reading, doing his best to make his voice higher and lower so every character could sound different. 

Niffty eventually falls asleep…and Alastor doesn't have the heart to move her. 

So he stays and pets her head gently as she sleeps soundly. 

~~~Vaggie and Charlie: The next day~~~

“Well…yesterday sure was really something.” Charlie says. “I think it's a good thing this happened, breaking some walls down. In order to get to Angel's core.” She says. “I just hope I didn't break too many walls.” 

“I wouldn't worry about it. He seems fine.” Vaggie says. “I'm sorry I lashed out at him.”

“I know you were just being protective.” Charlie says. “I appreciate it. You've always been there for me. But, I can take care of myself, you know.”

“I know. But, you don't have to anymore.” Vaggie says. 

Charlie smiles and tries not to cry…

Thinking about how alone she felt before she met her wonderful girlfriend. 

Vaggie smiles at Charlie, too, but she doesn't dwell on the moment. “So, hey, I was looking over the test answers…as it turns out Alastors’ test isn't the only test with unanswered questions.”

Charlie tilts her head. “What do you mean?” 

“Take a quick glance through Niffty's answers.” Vaggie hands Charlie Niffty's test.

Charlie takes it and starts to look through it… “oh. Wow.”

Half the test was just scribbles of nothingness - 

She automatically assumed Niffty's test was unreadable because of her…peculiar nature. But, it looks like Niffty purposely sabotaged every other answer. 

“Why would she purposefully sabotage her test?” Charlie asks. 

“I mean, it's not exactly easy to admit when you're a regressor, you know?” Vaggie asks. “You're basically admitting that sometimes you need help. That's not an easy thing to ask for.”

Charlie nods. “Yeah…trust me, I get that. Do you think we should talk to Niffty about this?” 

“You're asking me?” Vaggie asks. 

“Of course, I go overboard sometimes. You're a lot better at understanding boundaries. It’s the balance I need.” 

Vaggie considers it. “Well, it can't hurt to talk to her. Maybe there's something more going on. Like with Angel.” Vaggie says. 

“Angel! Right. I have to give him his test, and then we can talk to Niffty together. Sound good?” Charlie asks.

Vaggie nods. “Sure, why not?”

~~~Pentious, Angel, and Husk:~~~

Angel and Husk were helping Pentious rebuild his Lego set. 

“Sssso, none of you care if I'm a little or not? You don't think it's…weird?” Pentious asks them. 

“That would be awfully hypocritical, don't you think?” Angel asks. “Considering I'm also a regressor?”

“We're friends, Pen.” Husk adds. “Of course, I think you're weird.” 

Pentious isn't sure what Husk means by that. He and Angel both look at him. 

“In the best way possible.” Husk adds to reassure them both. 

“I was worried what you both may think about it.” Pentious admits. “Especially when I don't know what to think about it myself.” 

“You don't need to be ashamed of who you are, Pen.” Husk says. “If regressing helps you, or it just makes you happy, then it's great, and you should be proud of yourself for doing it.” Husk says, trying to be encouraging. He's not used to lifting people up. 

Pentious smiles. 

“Yeah, also, trust me, there's way worse things out there than enjoying toys and cartoons as an adult.” Angel adds. “There's nothing you can tell me that would make me think less of you. So don't worry so much about it.” 

Pentious nods. “Thank you.” 

Angel doesn't want to continue this awkward conversation, so he changes the subject. “So, this is what you do while regressing? Build small buildings?” Angel asks, placing a few pieces onto the structure.

“Well, yes. Sometimes. It's fun and relaxing.” Pentious says. 

“And annoying, I've done this page five times!” Angel complains. “How can you possibly relax with this?” 

“Perhaps you need a less complicated set, I'm sure they make some meant for smaller children.” Pentious mocks. 

Husk chuckles, and Angel rolls his eyes. 

But Angel finds himself smiling. He sorta missed being in a trio like this…it was comforting. 

“What do you do when you regress?” Pentious asks him. 

Angel tenses. “Uhh, well-” 

“Angel, everything is set up for you…if you're ready.” Charlie tells him.

Angel looks at Charlie and nods. “Okay, I'll be there in a second.” 

Charlie gives him a thumbs up and heads to her office. 

Thank Satan, Angel wasn't sure he was ready to talk about his little self's hobbies of watching peppa Pig and crying himself to sleep. 

Angel gets up off the floor to walk to Charlie's office when Husk stops him by placing a hand on his shoulder. “Hey, good luck.”

Angel smiles. “Thanks, Husk.”

“The test is relatively easy. There's nothing to fear.” Pentious tells him. 

Angel smiles at Pentious and walks over to Charlie's office. 

Once the door closes, Charlie asks: “Are you absolutely sure you want to do this, Angel?”

Angel nods. “I mean, you already know I regress. What's the harm in it?” He asks.

Plus, he felt it was only fair. Maybe actually taking the test could help them forgive him? Proving he's actually serious about this redemption stuff? 

“If you're sure.” She shrugs.

 She hands him a piece of paper. “Here’s the test. If you have any questions, just let me know, okay?” 

Angel nods. “Alright.”

Charlie has printed out another test. She picks it up and smiles at him. “Call me if you need anything.” 

And with that, she leaves him alone to his test…

He looks at the first question...

‘What's your gender?’

Da fuck? 

 Who could possibly have an answer for that!? 

~~~Niffty and Charlie:~~~~

Alastor and Niffty had a late start that morning, so Niffty felt way behind on cleaning!

She had so much to do! 

So much to clean!

She's gotta clean! 

Gotta clean everything!!

“Niffty!”

Niffty looks behind her to find a smiling Charlie. 

“There you are! Would you mind if Vaggie and I talked to you about something?” She asks. 

Niffty nods and follows her wordlessly. 

What could she possibly want? 

What did she do? 

Was this about yesterday? 

Oh no! 

They're going to kick her out!

They can't do that! 

Only Alastor can kick her out! And he would never do that!

“Charlie?” Niffty asks nervously as they make it to the princesses bedroom. 

“Yeah?” 

“Am I in trouble?” Niffty asks. 

“Oh no, not at all.” Charlie promises. “We just want to talk about the classification test, okay? You're not in any trouble.” 

Niffty nods. “Mmm. Okay. I guess.” Niffty says, feeling a little anxious. 

“We have a feeling that maybe you weren't a hundred percent honest on the test.” Vaggie says. 

Niffty frowns. "Hm?" 

“It's okay, we just want to know why you wouldn't answer some of the questions.” Charlie says. "Half of them are either scribbles or completely blank." 

Niffty shifted in her seat awkwardly. “I- you, you can't know…" she mumbles. 

“Can't know what?” Charlie asks.

“You'll hate me…and think I'm weird! Like they all did!” Niffty says sadly. 

“We already think you’re weird.” Vaggie says.

“But we care so much for you. We want to take care of you.” Charlie says. “Don't you want someone to take care of you?” 

Niffty shrugs. “But that's my job.” She says.

“What?”

“To take care of things.” She says. “It's my job…right?” 

Charlie frowns. “Niffty, everyone needs being taken care of sometimes. You deserve to be taken care of too.” She says. 

Niffty frowns. “But…I can't be the mess!" She whines. 

"The...mess?" Charlie asks.

Niffty nods. "I take care of the mess, I can't be the mess!” 

"You're not a mess, Niffty." Charlie says. "You don't have to take the test if you don't want to...but we would never think less of you if you're classified as something different. We love you just the way you are." 

Niffty looks up at her. "Really?" 

"Of course." Charlie says. "This hotel wouldn't be the same without your creative and clenly nature." 

Niffty smiles. 

“How about this, we can go over the test together, no matter what happens, we will not think of you any differently. We love you and no matter what it says, it'll stay that way.” She promises. 

Niffty nods. “Okay.”

She trusted them. 

She just hopes that's not a mistake. 

~~~Everyone: Later~~~

Husk is cleaning glasses at the bar while Pentious and Angel are waiting in the main room. 

Angel keeps getting up, pacing anxiously, then sitting back down. He can't seem to sit still. 

“Are you alright, Angel?” Pentious asks.

“I'm fine.” He says, his voice irritated, he can’t seem to calm his fucking nerves!

So, Husk, noticing this, does something in an attempt to distract Angel. 

He turns on the radio: “I've got you, under my skin.” The radio sings. 

“I've got you deep in the heart of me.” Husk starts to sing along. “You're so deep in my heart, you're really a part of me. I've got you under my skin.” ~ 

Angel stops pacing and looks over at Husk.

“I've tried so, not to give in. I've said to myself, this affair never will go so well.” Husk continued, looking at Angel with a smile and a wink. 

“But why should I try to resist, darling I know so well?” Angel starts singing along. 

“I've got you, under my skin.” Angel and Husk sing at the same time.

Pentious smiles at the two, not familiar with this song, but finds the two entertaining. 

Alastor walks downstairs with Niffty following him. 

Alastor smiles brighter, deciding to interrupt their little duet. “I'd sacrifice anything come what might. For the sake of havin' you near, in spite of a warnin' voice that comes in the night

And repeats- repeats in my ear.” ~  

Husk offers his hand to Angel who takes it so they start dancing. 

Husk continues to sing, more so to Angel. “Don't you know, little fool, you never can win? Use your mentality, wake up to reality!” 

“But each time that I do just the thought of you

makes me stop before I begin.” Angel sings next.

Charlie and Vaggie walk out of the office with the results. 

“Cause I've got you under my skin!” All three guys sing. 

“Guys, be careful. Your 1900s are showing.” Vaggie mocks. 

“Hey, don't blame us because your music isn't as good as ours.” Angel says. 

“I always forget how young you all are.” Pentious says.

Alastor scoffs. “For your information, I died in the 1930s.” Alastor says, offended. 

“I died in the 1880s.” Pentious says, one-upping Alastor who glares at him like a child. 

“Mid to late 1940s… I think?” Angel adds. “Death was a little blurry.” 

“1970s for me.” Husk says. 

“So, I'm the oldest among you all?” Pentious asks. 

“I was seventy when I died.” Husk says. 

“That hardly counts.” Angel says. “We're practically the same age.” 

“What year were you born?” Husk asks.

“19….uhhhh.” Angel tried doing the math…it was so long ago! 

“How old were you when you died?” Husk asks.

“Thirty something?” Angel guessed. 

“So, you would have been born around the 1910s. I was born in the early 1900s. That's a ten year age gap.” 

“Well…I've been hell longer than you.” Angel says, crossing his arms. 

“How is that relevant?” Husk asks. 

“I have more experience!” Angel explains. 

Husk scoffs. “Please.” 

“I hate to break up this very interesting conversation, but we got both your test results.” Charlie says. 

Angel stands up as she hands him and Niffty each an envelope. 

Angel takes it and takes a deep breath.

Pentious and Husk look at him, then look away. 

Alastor's eyes were only on Niffty, smiling genuinely to comfort her.

Angel rips open the envelope…

“You want some space?” Husk asks. 

Angel shakes his head. “No, I know all of your results, I trust you to know mine.” 

The two smile as Angel opens the envelope and looks through it. 

“Well?” Pentious asks. 

“Seventy percent Little, thirty percent Guardian.” 

Niffty runs over to Angel: “Angel, Angel, Angel! Open mine! Open mine next!!”

Angel takes the envelope from her. “Are you sure?”

“Mhm, what does it say- read it!” She tells him.

“Okay,” Angel opens Niffty's letter. “It says you're fifty percent a pet regressor and fifty percent a Handler. 

“Is that good?” Niffty asks. 

Alastor pets her head. “It’s perfect, My dear.”

“Who knew our favorite Handler was also a little pet regressor?” Charlie says, smiling at Niffty who was also smiling back.

“Well, that's no surprise.” Alastor says. “I've been taking care of the little rat for years.” 

“Wait wait wait- what?” Vaggie asks him.

“What did you just call her?” Charlie asks. 

Alastor thinks for a moment. “...Rat.”

“She's a mouse regressor?!” Charlie asks, gasping. 

“Charlie, remember what I said about going crazy about little ones?” Vaggie asks. 

“That's so cute!” Charlie says in awe. 

Niffty smiles! 

This was her home, where she belongs!

No one was going to judge her again.

Angel's phone goes off, which causes everyone to look at him. 

Angel looks at who it is…and sure enough.

It's fucking Val.

Ange ignores the call and looks up at the worried faces that surround him.

Angel chuckles awkwardly. “Potential spam.” He lies and everyone seems relieved. 

…

~~~Angel:~~~

Throughout the day, Angel's phone continues to go off: 

‘Angel! Answer your phone!’ 

‘Angel, baby. Why didn't you show up for work today? Are you alright? You know how I worry.’

‘Angel, you'd better be at work tomorrow or so help me, I will make you pay for it!’

Val's texts don't stop…

His phone goes off again and again.

Tomorrow is really going to suck!

He looks over at the others, laughing and talking…

Val can do whatever he wants. He can have tomorrow, but Angel has today!

~~~The hotel: Even Later~~~

“Okay, everyone. I brought you all here because I have something new and fun for you all!” Charlie announces. She gathered (dragged) everyone to the main room, so excited she's finally able to introduce them to the next step!

“These are regression journals! I made them especially for each of you! Inside you will find some super cool prompts, activities, and mood trackers! These can be especially helpful for your caregivers- for those who have them I mean.”

Charlie opens her own journal to show them what's inside: 

“On the top you will write your name and the date, and down here you will answer these questions so we'll get a good idea of your progress and how you're feeling. The daily mood tracker for example:” 

“I am ____ years old today.

Today I (action, explain your day):

Today I'm feeling: 

I want ___ to know:”

“Now, this can be anyone.” Charlie explains further. “A friend, a caregiver, another little. If you're having trouble communicating, sometimes writing something down is easier, for example: if I'm the one writing in the journal. I can write, I want Vaggie to know that I love her. Or I want Vaggie to know that I want to be held.” 

"We have also provided some personalized stickers in case anyone is too little to write down how they're feeling, but feel free to ask me or Charlie if you ever need help.” Vaggie explains, showing them the stickers.

“There are also super fun activities inside! Coloring pages, worksheets, and some grounding techniques for help with anxiety and panic attacks, and a guide to help you regress if you need it.” Charlie explains. 

Pentious's journal was decorated in gear and dog stickers, smiling faces, and small doodles Charlie must have drawn on. 

Niffty's was decorated in mouse stickers, it was covered in glitter and small positive messages from Charlie. 

And Angel's was covered in hearts, piggy stickers, and pink glow in the dark spider webs. 

The three of them looked over their journals, while Vaggie answered the million questions Niffty had about it.

Charlie smiles as walks upstairs and knocks on Alastor's door. 

When she doesn't get an answer right away, she was going to just leave her gift and 

“Charlie?” Alastor asks, opening the door at last. “Can I help you, my dear?”

He was probably in  his woods or something.

Charlie hands him the journal. “This is for you.”

Alastor hesitates, but he takes it.

‘Alastor's regression journal.’

Alastor rolls his eyes. “This is very kind, Charlie. But I don't-” 

“I want you to keep it. Even if you're not a little.” Charlie says to him. “If you don't like it, just don't use it.”

Alastor looks over the journal, but he doesn't open it. 

He doesn't need it. 

“But if you do regress,” Charlie continues, “keep it close to you, you don't have to share it with anyone you don't want to.” She says. “But, you can always share with me if you want to. I'm always here for you if you need me.”

Alastor sighs. “Charlie-”

“Don't say anything!” Charlie says. “I'm going back downstairs, we never had this conversation.” 

Charlie turns away and walks downstairs without another word. 

Alastor tilted his head at her, but said nothing as he was asked. He walks back into his room with a sigh. 

He never should have taken that test- the hell was he thinking? 

Well, he was regressed at the time,thinking it was some hilarious joke. 

He shoves the small notebook in a drawer, he'll never need it! 

~~~Alastor:~~~

Name: Alastor

“I am ‘don't know’  years old today. Today I (action, explain your day): 

Smiled all day long, ate a deer, and magict!

Today I'm feeling: Sad. But only inside. Outside I'm happy as a lark.

I want 'Rosie' to know: I miss you. 

His shadow smiled, looking down. At the journal entry. 

Alastor just hopes he can show Rosie soon! She'd really like this! 

:)

♤

♡

♧

'Don't you know, little foolYou never can winWhy not use your mentalityStep up, wake up to realityBut each time I do just the thought of youMakes me stop just before I begin'Cause I've got you under my skinYes, I've got you under my skin.' ~Cole Porter

Part 1 is complete! 🎉Part 2 will be focused on Angel, Niffty, and Clara! I hope you're all as excited as me!I've had the idea for the journals for years! It was part of a draft in my old sander sides fanfic! I loved the idea but didn't end up finishing the book. So, I used it here too.

@todayimfour @babiegurlmuffin @ask-dusty-boy @im-not-paying-my-taxes @trophyxtissues2 @abby5577

#ittybittysinners #hazbin hotel agere #hazbin hotel age regression #Mouse regressor Niffty #Pet regressor Niffty #Little!Alastor

[eywathemother]

Fish Lips part 7

Ship: Aonung x Kiri's twin sister!Reader

Warnings: Language, bullying, gore, fighting, talk of war, injury and blood, slow burn, enemies to lovers (not really a warning just some people don't like that trope), death of (a) character(s), not proofread

Words: 2,312

Keys: (y/n) = your name,,(y/i/n) = your Ikran's name,, Neural Queue= the braid extension of a Na'vi's nervous system that allows them to link up to animals and Ewya,,(y/II/n) = your ilu's name,,

Chapters; Introduction || Part 1 || Part 2 || Part 3 || Part 4 || Part 5 || Part 6 || Part 7 || Part 8 || Part 9 || Part 10 ||

Spoilers for Avatar: The Way of Water A whole ass lot.

If you feel like the writing is weird or the dialogue seems less, it's because I am slowly losing my sanity. :) I just sneezed my contact out of my eye KLMfaoAos- along with my soul, my soul is gone.

I was gonna post this earlier, but I was trying to find this ff that I love so I spent 3 HOURS TRYING TO FIND IT AND GUESS WHAT- I didn't. I am pissed off.

This one kinda sucks compared to my others, sorry 😭

The next few days were the most boring days of your life. Stuck to the side of your mother or father you followed them around, it pissed you off more than anything. Why were you getting punished for something you didn't even start. The only time you had time to hang out with Tsireya and your siblings was during lunch or dinner. You didn't know how long your father was going to punish you, but you were fed up with it already.

They were busy today, unsure of what they were doing you stuck near the Marui. Your mother was in the Marui, you weren't interested of exactly what she was doing so you placed yourself in her view but not nearby.

You kicked your feet into the water, almost finished with the bracelet you were making for Tuk. You loved to craft; it was one of your favorite pastimes. As you focused on finishing the last string, a head suddenly popped out of the water by your right leg.

You let out a shriek, clutching the bracelet to your chest tightly. Aonung grinned amusement at your reaction and you glared at him. You had been avoiding him, not wanting to see him after what he did to your siblings.

" What." You grumbled, going back to your bracelet." I just...wanted to see you." You looked up with a raised eyebrow, he ran a hand along the top of his head." To, you know..apologize."

" I don't accept." You blinked at him, an awkward silence hung in the air, and he clenched his jaw." You haven't even heard me out yet." He let out an unamused chuckle, trying to hide his distaste." I'm not obligated to accept."

" Yes, I know that!" He blew out a quick breath of air and lowered his voice." But at least listen to what I have to say. That's all I'm asking." He placed a hand above your knee but quickly removed it when you looked down at it." Then you can ignore me all you want."

Your ears turned a bit purple from embarrassment, mainly for having it be called out, he seemed to notice." I was right." He pointed to your ears and your quickly covered them with your hands." I don't know what you're talking about." You denied. He rolled his eyes." Your ears turn purple when you're embarrassed or angry."

" No, they don't!"

He grinned at you, and you turned your eyes away from his stare." Fine, I'll hear you out." You grumbled and he put his hand to his ear." I'm sorry, what was that?"

" Maybe I shouldn't then if you're gonna be a cocky bastard about it." You scowled at him, and he tried his best to keep a straight face." Okay, okay, fine. I'll stop teasing you." You fell into a tense silence as you waited for him to speak. His ilu nudged your leg and you pet its snout in acknowledgement.

" I'm sorry for the immaturity and bullying I put you and your siblings through. I understand that this was supposed to be Uturu for you and your family and I made it very difficult for it to be." He sighed, not making eye contact with you." You can avoid me, ignore me, glare at me.... or we could start over." He put three of his fingers to his forehead, bringing them out and pulling them down while looking at you.

You rolled your eyes, and he squirmed under your piercing gaze. After a long pause you did it back, and he had to contain himself not to show how excited he actually was." I still don't like you, though. And I don't accept you lame ass apology still." You whispered to him, and he did everything he could not to roll his eyes.

" Hello Aonung." You jumped a bit at your mothers voice." What are you doing here?" She asked, she handed you a fruit basket, full of cut fruit. " What's this for?" You asked." For your siblings, go bring it to them." Neytiri cocked her head at you." Without joining any fights."

Aonung would've snickered if you hadn't sent a glare his way. You stood up and began to walk away and Aonung hurried to catch up to you. " I'll come with you." He walked next to you, you gave an annoyed look, still mad at him." Go away." He was like an annoying, rude, cute little puppy that was trying to follow you around.

" You're grounded to your parent's company, right? I'm the chief's son if you hang out with me, I'm sure they'd let it slide." He smirked at you; he was gonna make your ears permanently purple out of irritation. Neytiri watched you two, smiling a bit at the boy trying to get your attention. It reminded her of when she first met Jake.

" Hey, why don't you go on the next hunt with us." He nudged you with his arm and you furrowed your brows." Why so you can abandon me there and almost get me killed like you did my brother." He winced." I really am sorry, I even apologized to Lo'ak."

" So, you guys are buddy-buddy now because you can both relate to being losers?" You raised a brow at him, and he rolled his eyes." He told me about your conversation, don't worry I know aaalll the juicy details." You laughed at his irritation; he put his hands behind his back and balled his hands up. He was going to tell you off, but he knew he teased you worse in the past, so he ignored you.

" So, will you?"

Before you could respond Tuk came up to you." Are you ungrounded! I want to show you something!" She didn't wait for your response and began to pull you towards the water." Look I found this really cool plant, see. See!" She waddled into the water, kneeling into the water and pointed at a plant in the water.

" Where are the others?" You asked and she shrugged." Well, Kiri is somewhere around here but I don't know where the boys are." You squatted next to her, keeping the basket balanced on your shoulder. " This is my new favorite plant, isn't it pretty!" She ran her hand along the plant, messing with it as it flowed in the water.

" Well, I brought fruit from mother for you guys as a snack." She lifted her head." Oo yummy." She went to reach for the fruit, but you pulled back a bit." You must wash your hands first." She groaned and you gave her an amused grin.

" Well, I'll eat them after I'm done exploring then. I want to show you more of what I found!" You turned towards Aonung who looked bored, annoyed that you hadn't answered his question yet. Maybe you could get him off your tail and leave you alone. So, you turned to Aonung with your smirk, a smirk you only wore when you were about to piss someone off.

" Hey, you can show Aonung. He could also give you more information on your favorite discoveries!" You turned back to Tuk, pinching her sides lightly making her giggle." Really!" She looked over your shoulder to an Aonung who was glaring at you." Would you do that!?"

You looked to Aonung expectingly, he stood their awkwardly." Uh, yeah okay." You gave a big grin to Tuk and stood up as she waddled over to Aonung. You were glad that she was relatively okay with Aonung, this would help you lose him and maybe have a decently peaceful day.

You liked Aonung to some extent, but he always managed to irritate you, even his stupid smirk made your neck purple in annoyance. At least, you hoped it was annoyance- of course it was, what are you thinking.

Tuk began to talk his ear off, asking him a bunch of questions. He was surprisingly patient with her and spoke with a softness you've never noticed before. You were off to find your brothers, you didn't trust to leave the basket with Tuk. Not that she was untrustworthy, she would just end up eating more than her fair share and you'd get in trouble for not splitting it among all of them.

You walked a few minutes on the beach until you spotted them on a rock, snickering to each other. Lo'ak hung out with Kiri the most, but during the times he did hang out with Neteyam they were both snickering and giggling like school children.

" What's up mommies' girl." Neteyam waved you over with a teasing smile, earning an eye roll from you." What happened to being stuck to mom or dad's waist?" Lo'ak raised a brow, and you handed them the box of fruit." Mom wanted me to give this to you guys."

Their hands immediately went into the basket, and you grabbed one, nibbling on it a bit." Make sure to save some for Tuk and Kiri."

" We should show Tsireya Uno." Lo'ak suggested randomly. You turned to him with a confused face." What brought this up?"

" Uno brings out the worst in us, a part of us.... she should not see.." Neteyam placed his hand on his chest and shook his head while his eyes were closed, feigning sorrow." Idiot, it's just fun." Lo'ak grumbled while shoving his face with slices of fruit.

Your father had shown you Uno when he was younger, forcing Neytiri to join every few nights for a family game. It was his favorite childhood game on Earth, and he wanted to share it with his family. It caused many fights between you and Lo'ak but it's definitely a big part of your family.

You turned around and waved behind you." Anyways, I should probably head back." They waved at you, not really paying much attention and went back to eating the fruit.

You were halfway back to your Marui when Aonung jogged up next to you and stopped." So, what about my question earlier?" He asked and you blinked at him, genuinely confused." What question?" He huffed in frustration and annoyance." About you joining Rotxo and I to go hunting."

" Uhhh..." There was a long pause as you pretended to think." Nah." You shook your head, and he got in front of you stopping you from moving." Why not?"

" I just don't want to."

You tried to move around him, but he just continued to get in your way." Come on it'll be fun." Your annoyance was growing, finding it more difficult not to yell at the boy." Why do you want me to go so badly?" You asked and he shrugged." Neteyam said you're good on a hunt, wanted to see if he's right."

You knew on some level he was being dishonest, trying to cover up the real reason as to why he wanted you to go. You didn't bother to pry, it's not like you cared.

"Okay, fine I'll go." You smirked at him, and he looked down at you with an interested stare." But I kind of don't want Rotxo there. Just you and me, okay?" He frowned, why would you ask to be alone with him if you tried to ditch him any chance you got.

Wait...oh. You were going to try and ditch him. Give him a taste of his own medicine. He grinned at you, two could play that game." Okay then, tonight before Eclipse. Don't worry about your father, I'll deal with that."

He didn't lie, you don't know exactly what he told him but about an hour later he was coming up to you telling to get ready.

Neytiri seemed relatively happy you two made up." I hope this means your fighting will lessen drastically with the boys." She looked up from her current focus of wrapping wrap stuffing. You held the urge to scoff." I hope he stops following me around like a lost puppy after this."

He might've just started doing it, but you were fed up with it already. She took a braid in between her fingers and folded it behind your ear." You are the polar opposite of Kiri it makes me laugh." Lo'ak said behind you as he carried in some fish." You are literally the biggest asshole-"

" Lo'ak!" Neytiri scolded and he let out a snicker before going to his spot next to his father." What do you know! She's literally just like me!" You chucked a random object at him that was next to you." She's not violent!"

" Yes she is! With her words! Penis Face!" You snapped at him." Hey! Knock it off you two!!"

" Ready to go?" Aonung's voice rang out on the side of the Marui, making you jump a bit. Lo'ak laughed in amusement until his arm was roughly pulled backwards by Neteyam. " Yes." You sighed and stood up; he wore a smirk on his face as you followed him away.

" So, what's with the penis face thing?" He chuckled, looking at the side profile of your face. You refused to look at him, but he took you responding as a win." Something my sister started when we were younger." You giggled to yourself at the memory.

" Kind of like the Fish lips thing that Lo'ak called you." You let out a cackle as his face fell." I don't find it that funny to be honest." He grumbled and you grinned at him." Stop looking at me like that." He pushed your face away with his hand.

The walk towards the water was peaceful, but you didn't know how peaceful this hunt was going to be. Considering you knew he knew that you were planning on ditching him and that he knew you knew he knew you were planning on ditching him which he planned to avoid as much as possible. Let the fun begin!

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#avatar #avatar the way of water #avatar x reader #aonung #aonung x reader #avatar ao'nung #aonung x you #atwow aonung #atwow x reader #atwow #ao'nung #ao'nung x reader #ao'nung x you #atwow ao'nung

[whatsk-poppinhomies]

Pairing : Yandere!Lee Minho x F!Reader Word Count : 3.2k TW : yandere!Minho ; reader depression ; smut ; reader manipulation era ; Request : @whatudowhennooneseesyou - What if Lee know is started to see how unhappy the reader she is? He sees the light leaving in her eyes, he knows she's not happy but he refuses you to let you go. So what does he do? He shows it through desperate and needy sex. A/N : Oh I love writing your Minho requests!!! I love them so much! Any kind of Minho request, you can send them in and I will eat them up (hopefully before Tumblr eats them) Thank you so much babe!!! I'm sorry this isn't as much smut as usual in the Minho fics, it's a lot of dialogue and angst. I'm sorry!!!

A heavy sigh escaped you as you dropped down into your spot on the couch, a spot that had practically molded around you now, the shape of your ass and your back indented in the foam of the cushions. It had been months since he had taken you out that one day, and while he had promised that it would become a more common occurrence, you soon came to realize that that had been nothing more than his way of placating you, making you stay with him once again when he felt like he was so close to losing you. 

“Darling?” Minhos voice sounded from the kitchen, but it was drowned out by the thrumming of the vents that blasted the cool AC through the small living room, chilling you to the bone, but you didn’t even mind it. You didn’t seem to mind much of anything anymore, you weren’t living, you were simply alive in the world that had been thrusted upon you in the confines of the 4 walls you were housed inside. “Love?” His tone was more assertive, and undertone of worry lingering in the sternness, but you didn’t lift your head, you didn’t move at all. 

He had seen you like this before, at least he thought he had the time that he had reluctantly taken you out of the house. Of course he thought that the one occasion would be enough to show you that he cared about you, that he’d do anything for you. You were his love, his light, and everything he did was for you, yet you still looked so miserable. 

“I’ve made lunch, darling.” He called to you, his foot tapping impatiently against the linoleum tiles of the kitchen floor as he awaited your response, a response that never came. That was just one of the other problems for him, the fact that you didn’t even wake up some days until 12pm or later, sleeping the entire morning away. It’s not like there was anything exciting or new to wake up for, it’s not like there was anything awaiting you through the bedroom door. 

His fingers found the knob and he quickly turned down the fire on the stove so he could go to you, your body frozen, like a statue on the couch as you gazed forward. It wouldn’t have been so concerning if the television had been on, but it wasn’t, you were simply staring at nothing. He could just barely make out your reflection in the screen, your lips drawn into a straight line, your cheeks hollowed and your body slumped, yet so stiff, it was strange. 

Soft fingers combed through your slightly knotted hair, you seemed to stop taking care of it, you stopped taking care of yourself. “Tell me what you’re thinking, my love…” He whispered, trying not to sound like he was already on the verge of crying just from seeing you this way. “What’s on your mind?” One finger snagged in one of the knots, and while he quickly withdrew his hand, a hushed apology coming from his lips, you didn’t even react to that. Not a wince, not a cringe, you just continued to sit stone still, it was terrifying. 

He moved from behind the couch to stand in front of you, your eyes didn’t waver, you didn’t even look at him. Even with him in your line of sight, it was like you were seeing right through him, he could feel his chest tightening and his throat closing up as his breaths became choked out. Seeing you now, seeing your face, you were the woman that he had fallen so madly in love with, yet you were so different. He had never seen you this bad, not at any point, not even when he had thought he was going to lose you before. This was worse, this was way worse. 

The light in your eyes had faded, and if he didn’t know any better, he would have thought you were simply a corpse mounted on the sofa cushions, displayed for the world to see the woman he loved so dearly. “Come now, your lunch is waiting…” He whispered shakily, biting on his bottom lips to keep it from jutting out. He reached out to grab your hand, stifling the shocked gasp that threatened to leave him when he felt how cold it was, your fingers like ice against his own. It wasn’t even that cold, it was like being touched by a ghost and it sent a shiver through him. “Please…” 

Minho wasn’t the type to plead or beg, not unless he truly felt that he needed to, and right now was one of those moments. He had been angry at you before, he had been livid at the thought that you were going to actually leave him, but now he felt nothing but desperation. He was losing you in a way that he never thought he would. It wasn’t just sadness, it was fear that had him lowering himself to his knees in front of you, grasping onto your hands like they were the last bit of thread keeping him from falling. 

“Fuck, baby please…” His hands squeezed yours, and he was so used to feeling you squeeze his back to let you know that you were listening, but you didn’t, you had no expression, and the only thing that let him know that you were still actually alive was the rise and fall of your chest as silent breaths left you and the intermittent blinking of your eyes. “Tell me what you need, what do you want me to do? Talk to me.” 

His eyes were boring into your own, watching, waiting, anticipating any kind of movement, any sound that you might make. When your mouth slowly opened, his heart began to race and he pushed himself up a little more on his knees to look at you better. “I don’t want to be here anymore…” You whispered, almost robotically, and those words had him falling back, his butt hitting the heels of his feet as he stared at you incredulously. It’s not like he didn’t know that that’s what you wanted the most, but he felt like he was doing the best he could to make life good for you. “But…” He blinked a few times, not exactly expecting there to be a follow up, but he listened intently. “I know you’re not going to let me actually leave… Not the way I truly want to… So…” 

Minho wasn’t stupid, not in the slightest, he was actually quite smart considering he was able to pull something like this off and not get caught yet. That meant that he was able to pick up on what you meant quite quickly, the realization had his stomach dropping and small sobs pushing past his lips. “No… No… I…” He stammered, blinking tears from his eyes as he fumbled to move closer to you. “I’m not letting you leave… I can’t lose you… And definitely not like that…” His words were rushed out, his hands moving to your face to cup your cheeks. “I love you… Why can’t you see that? If you can’t… Let me show you… Let me love you…” 

You followed him, of course you did, you let him hold your hand tightly as he pulled you off the couch and led you to the bedroom. It was the only time you felt truly loved by him, like you weren’t just some object that he refused to let go of. You followed him in these moments like a moth to a flame, in these moments you could forget about the reality of what you were stuck with, you could let yourself melt into the mattress while he was on top of you and pretend that things were normal for a little while. 

He was so gentle with you, carefully laying you down as his glassy eyes looked you over, admiring how beautiful you looked against the disheveled sheets on the bed that hadn’t been made. “What do you want me to do, my love… Tell me…” He cooed sweetly, practically falling over on top of you, holding himself up on his elbows as he kissed along your cheek and down to your neck, stopping at your collarbone to look up at you. 

“Doesn’t matter… Don’t care…” You muttered, staring blankly up at the ceiling. His heart ached seeing you like this, and it made him feel guilty. Did you even want to be with him right now or were you just doing it because you felt like you had no other choice? 

He pushed himself up, his eyebrows arched as he looked down at you. “It matters to me… I care… He murmured, and he watched as you closed your eyes, turning your head now so that you wouldn’t see him even if your eyes opened again. “Y/N… Look at me…” All of his weight shifted to one arm as he gripped your chin lightly, turning you to face him, and he’d wait all day for you to open your eyes, to actually see him. “You’re the only thing that matters to me, you’re all I care about… I need you in every single way… And I’m sorry I can’t give you exactly what you want… But I’ll give you anything else. Anything.” 

A single tear slipped through your closed eyelids, and he quickly caught it with his thumb, and although he hated to see you cry, he was thankful that he had gotten some kind of reaction out of you. “This is the only time you actually want me… The only time we want each other… So just give me this… You said you wanted me to feel loved… So do it…” You mumbled, and he was so conflicted. That’s not… This isn’t how he wanted you to feel when he was with you. You were so much more than this to him… But it’s what you wanted, and he could never deny you, he could never say no to you. 

He moved back to stand at the edge of the bed, his hands roaming over your body as his eyes glistened over with tears, your own eyes still screwed tightly shut. His hands shook as his fingers tucked beneath the waistband of the sweatpants that you were wearing, slowly pulling them down until they were pooled next to his feet on the floor. He was at a loss for words, and while he always tried to praise you, let you know how beautiful he found you, those words would only fall upon unlistening ears, so he kept those thoughts to himself, silently admiring every inch of your body as his fingers grazed along your bare thighs. 

Nothing about this felt right, even though there wasn’t exactly anything wrong either. Your lack of physical response, the way you just laid there, it was heart wrenching and it made him sick to his stomach. You wanted this, but not for the same reasons he did. 

Foreplay was one of his favorite things most of the time, he loved the way your hands would grasp at his shoulders or your fingers would tangle in his locks when his face was buried between your legs. He adored the way your skin would prickle at the slightest touch or the smallest kiss against one of your sweet spots, the way your body would tremble as you breathily begged him to stop teasing you. Now wasn’t the time for that though, he knew he wouldn’t get those reactions out of you, you’d most likely only get annoyed that he was taking longer than what you felt he needed to take. 

He took a deep breath as he slipped his own pants off, the boxers that he had been wearing falling with them into one small pile right beside your own. He climbed onto the bed between your legs, stroking himself as he stared at you, wishing that you would say something. “Do you not want to?” You whispered, and he let out a shaky sigh. Your assumption couldn’t be further from the truth, and he could explain to you what he was really thinking right now, how he was feeling, but he knew that in your state of mind you wouldn’t believe him anyway. 

“I do…” He attempted to reassure you, and your legs seemed to spread wider for him, and it was strange how, although the rest of you didn’t seem to react to anything he did, you were still glistening with a wetness that only he could cause. You wanted him, but only in this way, only like this… 

His cock was hard in his hands as he slid his tip between your folds, and while he saw a slight twitch in your legs, there were no sounds coming from you other than shaky breaths. He wanted you this way, he wanted to show you he loved you in the only way he felt that he truly could, but he wanted you to love him back, he wanted you to reciprocate in some kind of way. 

Maybe it would take a little more, maybe it would take for you to really feel him to feel the love that he felt for you. It was like every move he made was more calculated, his nerves on edge as he slowly pushed into you, biting back his own moan just so he could hear yours more clearly. You didn’t make a sound though, your eyes were squeezed tightly shut and your lips were drawn into a thin line, like you didn’t want him to hear you, hear how good he made you feel. “Y/N…” He whimpered out your name, a mixture between a moan and a cry, but you shook your head, letting out a sound like a whine. 

“Don’t…” You whispered, moving your hands up to cover your face, the action only breaking his heart more. He couldn’t understand why you were hiding from him, why you’d want to hide from him. “Don’t say my name… Like you love me…” It was like a gut punch, and the broken pieces that were left of his heart felt like they had been stomped on and shattered into little bits that would never fit back together properly. 

His hands moved to grab your wrists, pulling your hands away from your face and holding them down to the mattress beside your head, his fingers slipping up until they were laced between your own, holding your hands tightly as he leaned closer to you, his face mere inches from your own. “Look at me… Baby, look…” His hips had slowly began to thrust, nothing but desperation behind each roll of his hips into you. “I love you… I love you so much…” Each word was a plea for you to listen, and his shuddered breaths came out between small grunts when your walls would instinctively squeeze around him. 

Your hands tightened around his when he hit that sweet spot, your head rolling back and a loud gasp sharply falling from your lips when they parted. He had gotten something, but it wasn’t enough, it wouldn’t be enough until you believe him. You’d go right back to sitting on the couch once this was done, staring at nothing, hoping to leave him in any way that you could, and he wasn’t going to let that happen. 

Tears formed in the corners of his eyes, but he refused to let go of your hands to wipe them, instead letting them fall against your face and trickle down to your neck as he held himself above you. “Wh-What do you want me to do?” He begged, his thumb brushing along the outside of your hand, trying to get your attention on him. “How can I make you happy? How do I make you stop hurting?” His thrusts were slow, all of his sadness, his fear, his desperateness felt in each push. 

A small sob followed his questions, but it wasn’t his, it was yours, and your eyes finally opened to look up at him, and as much as he had wanted to see you, for you to look at him, the pained look in your eyes had his tears falling more. “I want you to love me… Minho…” You shakily whimpered, tears pooling in the outer corners of your eyes until they overflowed, spilling across your temple and onto the mattress. 

“I do…” He retorted, trying to sound stern, but he couldn’t hide it, your words were killing him. “How else am I supposed to show you? What do you want me to do, baby? I’ll do anything… Just… Don’t leave me… Believe me… I need you…” His body fell on top of yours, his face burying into your neck to kiss away the tear stains that he had left along your skin. “I don’t… I can’t let you go…” He muttered against your neck, sniffling softly. 

“I want you to love me… That’s the problem… You don’t… You don’t love me… You love owning me…” You whimpered out, trying to stifle your moans, not wanting to give in to the amazing feeling of him being inside of you, but it was getting harder with each rut of his hips, the motion pushing you further up the bed. “I can’t… Live like this anymore…” 

His hands squeezed tighter around yours, his breaths becoming raspy from both his hushed sobs and the moans that whispered past his lips. “I… I’m trying to be better… I’m trying… I’ll do whatever I have to do… I just want you to be happy…” His lips lightly brushed along your neck, moving up to the shell of your ear before he was holding himself up above you again, his eyes puffy and reddened from the tears that he had shed. “I love you… Everything about you… And I don’t want to lose that… I don’t want to lose you…” He leaned in to kiss you softly, your lips chapped from your open mouth panting, but he didn’t mind, not at all. You hadn’t pulled away, you didn’t turn your head, you let him kiss you. “Let me… Let me prove to you… How much I love you… One more chance… Please.” 

What did you have to lose other than the life that you had already lost because of him? There was only something to gain from saying yes, and you didn’t even say it, you simply nodded your head, trying to think as optimistically as possible. Even if it didn’t last forever, he was scared enough right now that he might be willing to do things that he would have never done before, he might be willing to let you do things. It was something to hold onto at least. “I love you, Minho…” You whispered, craning your neck to try to kiss him again and he quickly dipped in, his lips crashing against yours as fresh tears fell from both of your eyes. “I’m not going anywhere…” You assured him, even though the both of you knew that in the end, he’d never let you leave. You were stuck there, and you had come to the conclusion that you could either be miserable, or you could make his life miserable to finally get what you want. 

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