#i listened to savages and forget on repeat

[sadlvrgrrl]

𝐇𝐈𝐃𝐃𝐄𝐍 (.𝐢)

an aemond targaryen love story

𝘸𝘢𝘳𝘯𝘪𝘯𝘨𝘴: 𝘥𝘦𝘢𝘵𝘩, 𝘥𝘦𝘵𝘢𝘪𝘭𝘦𝘥 𝘥𝘦𝘴𝘤𝘳𝘪𝘱𝘵𝘪𝘰𝘯𝘴 𝘰𝘧 𝘣𝘰𝘥𝘺 𝘩𝘰𝘳𝘳𝘰𝘳, 𝘢𝘯𝘨𝘴𝘵(?), fluff

𝘸𝘤: 1449

prologue

・❥・

𝐓𝐡𝐞 𝐒𝐞𝐚 𝐒𝐧𝐚𝐤𝐞

(one year later)

The Stranger calmly made his way through the bloodied aftermath of a brutal storm, collecting the souls of the fallen. Their crimson blood stains the ground, becoming a haunting reminder that death will always be the inevitable outcome, an inescapable part of the cycle of life.

As he made his way from corpse to corpse, two men remained oblivious to his presence as they continued to speak amongst themselves. He recognizes them, having encountered the two before in the midst of another battle, how could he not forget when they had dragons. One of them perches on top of a hill, and like a hawk, he scouts the area for his next prey.

“Orcs,” The Stranger overhears The Sea Snake utter, “they are truly nasty creatures, bred for violence and destruction. With their brutish strength and savage temper, they relish on bloodshed and chaos. Their presence alone is a grim mnemonic of the darkness that lies within the hearts of some,” he paused, his dark eyes gazing out to the red mess they have created. The smell of blood lingers like mist, and smoke wafts in the air like fog. Gruesome remains of humans, horses, orcs, and wargs litters the battlefield. “We were truly lucky enough to have The Warrior guide us through this battle.”

“Where did they come from?” the other inquired, his eyebrows raised with interest. He was physically identical to The Sea Snake, but shorter and heedlessly ambitious. The Stranger also noticed that he was quite fond of inquisition.

“They are not native to these lands, hailing from Middle-earth.” 

“Middle-earth?” he questions next. “What are they doing venturing this far North?”

“I do not know,” was the response, “for now, let us pray they were the only ones.”

“Father!” came a call from Laenor Velaryon, the dragon rider. His voice was laced with urgency. “A cave has been discovered, just to the north of here.”

The Stranger, now done with his task, turned his attention to the three men, his curiosity piqued by their recent discovery. He stood quietly, listening intensely.

“A cave?” the inquisitor, Vaemond Valeryon, repeated. “And who can this cave be home to?”

“Why don’t we have a look for ourselves, brother?” The Sea Snake did not wait for a response and set off, heading towards the cave. The Stranger follows close behind.

Corlys led the men into the cave cautiously. As they move deeper into the darkness, a foul odor hits them.

“What’s that stench?” Vaemond coughed and retched. “Smells of death!”

The Stranger gave the convulsing man an offended look. It is not he who smells of death, it is the decaying of the corpses. ‘Just wait till I come for you, Vaemond Valeryon, then you can tell me who smells of death.’ he grumbled in his head.

“Quiet. I hear something.” Corlys spoke. They stood still, their attention drawn to a faint sound of movements in the darkest corner of the cave. Corlys, being the leader, slowly approaches the area, his footsteps creeping carefully over the rocks and dirt. His eyes strained to catch a glimpse of anything amidst the darkness. The Stranger peaks over The Sea Snake’s shoulder, a familiar face comes into view.

The Warg Slayer.

She looks worse than when he last saw her. Her body was extremely frail and sick, with skin so pale yet soiled with dirt. The panic and fear on her face was visible, her body tensed. She was breathing heavily with short and frantic breaths.

It was a shocking and unsettling sight for the three men and The Stranger. She looked so trapped and helpless, like a small, frightened animal, and her only form of comfort was the brittle skeleton she clung tightly to.

Corlys was the only one to make a move. He approaches the girl, his footsteps slow and measured.

“It’s alright,” he spoke softly, leaving a short distance between the both of them. “I mean you no harm.”

The girl gave no response, but Corlys was determined to help her. He continued to approach, and the closer he got, the farther away she tried to be, but the wall wouldn’t let her go any further, so she chose to hide her face behind the skeleton in solace, like how a child would hide behind their mother for comfort.

“It’s alright,” he repeated. “Please, don’t be afraid. I won’t hurt you.” The others watched nervously as The Sea Snake went to bend a knee and reached out a hand towards the girl, her knuckles color white with terror as she gripped the skeleton tighter. The Stranger can see the wariness leaked out of Vaemond like vapor. He knows the knight wanted to call his brother back, but they both knew his pleas would go unheard.

“You’re safe now, little one.” Corlys whispered, his tone light and soft. Slowly, the girl’s head peeked from behind the skull, staring at the hand held out to her. Fear still lingers in her eyes, but she starts to calm. Her grip on the skeleton loosens as she slightly moves her own hand to his. With a gentle smile, Corlys carefully pulls the girl upon her feet.

“That’s it…I got you.” The Stranger watched the scene unfold before him. The Sea Snake’s tone was soft and soothing, and the Warg Sayers allowed herself to be held, allowing the warmth she had longed and forgotten find her once again. Then suddenly, the tranquil air was shattered by an orc storming into the cage with a savage battlecry, attacking and killing the scout who was standing guard. Laenor responded quickly, with one swift strike, the sharpness of his blade decapitated the orc’s head, but the sudden intrude startled The Warg Slayer, causing her to stumble back in fear. Within her haste, they all looked on in horror as she fell and hit her head on a rock, falling into darkness.

Corlys rushed to the girl, carefully cradling her into his arms but her body fell limp. His dark eyes widen as he follows the blood trickling down her head in an eerie manner. He instantly turned and rushed out of the cave, carrying the unconscious girl in his hand. Blood was spewing out of her at an alarming rate, and he knew he had to act fast.

“Corlys!” Vaemonds yells out, trailing after him with Laenor in tow. The Stranger lurks nearby, looming over The Sea Snake and The Warg Slayer. “And what do you think you are doing with that girl?” Vaemond's eyes filled with wariness and disgust as he stared at the injured girl in his brother’s arms. He couldn’t understand why Corlys wanted to risk his own safety for a stranger who could be dangerous. The fact that they had found her alone in a cave clinging onto a skeleton was enough for Vaemond’s suspicion and mistrust to fall upon her.

“She needs to be treated, quickly.” answered Corlys, his voice determined.

“How?” Vaemond grills on, falling into steps with his brother. “We are miles away from any neighboring lands.”

“I will take her,” chimed in Laenor, “I will fly her to Driftmark on Seasmoke.”

The offer had brought a glimmer of hope to Corlys as he was quickly overtaken with relief. Dragonback is the fastest way to get the girl the aid she needs, and in need is needed. Both men ran to the said dragon, who was standing proudly and towering in the distance. The Stranger admired him. The creature was a sight to behold, colored in pale silver-gray. Still young, but very nimble in the air. Laenor climbed atop his dragon smoothly. The mighty beast then lowered himself close to the ground for Corlys to hand the limp girl to Laenor’s waiting arms.

"Fly with haste, my son,” Corlys said. “Let this girl live on, and see the light of another day.”

And with those words, they shoot towards the burning sky, leaving a cloud of dust in their wake. Corlys watched on even after they had vanished into the fire. The Stranger remained a few moments more.

“Why are you saving her, Corlys?” The Sea Snake sighs, exhausted from hearing his brother’s relentless questioning.

“She is a child, Vaemond.” he answered. “It was the only right thing to do.”

But The Stranger saw into The Sea Snake’s soul, there was a pull he knew all too well from long ago. It was the same pull he had felt when he had first met The Warg Slayer long ago on a night he will never forget. And then, just as he had then, he quietly left.

Task once again fulfilled, but this time, his arms empty.

(𝒕𝒐 𝒃𝒆 𝒄𝒐𝒏𝒕𝒊𝒏𝒖𝒆𝒅...)

a/n: hiii again, i apologize for the wait. i have been dealing with personal issues but i am slowly getting better! this chapter is longer than i expected it to be so i hope it didn't bore you. also, aemond's first appearance is coming up in the next chapter :)

happy new years !!

hoping that 2024 brings many joyous memories <3

#aemond targaryen #aemond the kinslayer #aemond one eye #aemond targaryen imagine #aemond fanfiction #aemond fic #aemond imagine #aemond x oc #aemond fluff #aemond angst #aemond targaryen fanfiction #aemond x reader #team green #team black #hotd aemond #house of the dragon fanfiction #house of the dragon #house of the dragon fanfic #house targaryen #hotd #hotd fanfic #hotd angst #hotd fluff #corlys velaryon #the sea snake #lord of the rings #lord of the rings fanfic #lotr fanfic #hotd x lotr #lotr

[celestiall0tus]

Miraculous Absolution - Chapter 4 - Empty Words

Beginning || Previous || Next

            Adrien sat on his couch and stared angrily at the TV. He had on a news report, but he didn’t listen to it. His mind was stuck on the encounter with the girl, Mari. He stewed on her words lashed out in anger and sorrow. A new wound cut him deep as the conversation played on repeat. He hated this. It had been two years and no one had gotten under his skin like this. Sure the very mention of the Ladybug pissed him off, but not like when she brought it up.

            Adrien huffed as he sunk down and crossed his arms. What was so special about the Ladybug anyway? What made the people think it could be their savior? How could it have anymore luck dealing with Papillon that he hadn’t already? As far as he was concerned, the Ladybug wasn’t anymore special than the rest of them. Sooner or later the people would recognize this and see their error. He just had to bide his time.

            “Yo! How’s it going, my dude?” Nino exclaimed.

            Adrien jumped off the couch onto the floor. “Nino? What the hell? Can’t you see a bro is deep in thought?”

            Nino chuckled. “Why else do you think I did it?”

            Adrien muttered under his breath and sat back on the couch. “What brings you here?”

            Nino took a seat adjacent to Adrien. “Oh, nothing special. I only just heard of you facing off against a savage redhead and a feisty heartbroken girl.”

            “Who told you?”

            “Alya. Who else? She was there after all.”

            Adrien wracked his brain. “Was she the one with the ombre mane of hair? Dark-skinned with glasses.”

            “That’s the one. That’s my Alya.”

            “Right. Well, I don’t want to talk about it.”

            “C’mon, dude. You can’t stay holed up in your head. Especially now that Dr. Nino is in. Come, step into my office, tell me about it. How are you feeling?”

            “Nino, I’m not-.”

            Nino shot Adrien a look.

Adrien groaned and laid out on the couch. “I’m angry about the whole thing. I can’t stop thinking about what she said. How I should just leave and let the Ladybug take over. Then had the gall to say I failed, that we’re nothing but show ponies, and that I should ‘stick to what I’m good at.’ Can you believe that?”

“I can. I mean, Mari is hurt. She literally lost her parents. Tom, the most kind-hearted, warm, welcoming man that knew how to bake a mean croissant. And… and Sabine….”

Adrien furrowed his brow. He sat up and saw Nino crying.

“It’s not fair. They didn’t deserve this, and we could have done something. I should have been out there. I should have been on patrol sooner than normal. Maybe I could have saved them. Maybe they’d still be alive.”

Adrien stood and moved beside Nino. “What’s wrong?”

“I just… I’m going to miss them. They were the best people in this entire city. They welcomed everyone with a smile and open arms. They were more than Mari’s parents, they were all our parents. There to listen to us, to always guide us. Always there to held show the way or be a shoulder to cry on.”

“You loved them, didn’t you?” Adrien asked.

“I did. I loved walking into the bakery to the smell of fresh pastries. Seeing Tom’s jolly, big grin as he commanded the area, offering his heart to everyone. And there was Sabine who you could never hide anything from. She’d always see through you like glass and have a heart-to-heart. She actually is why I turned around so much as a hero.”

“What do you mean?”

“I… I had told her everything when she saw I was troubled a year ago.”

“Nino! What the hell?”

Nino chuckled softly. “There was no point in hiding it from her of all people. And I’ll never forget the look in her face when I did. There was such a painful understanding that I hadn’t expected. It was like she knew the burden I carried or had some idea of it. She actually helped me out by training me. You wouldn’t think it looking at her, but woman could pack a punch. Even after a year of training, I still couldn’t hold a candle to her. She really was something.”

Nino stared at the wall. More tears fell from his eyes as there was a certain fondness in his eyes.

Adrien frowned as irritation flared. “So, what? You think this excuses that girl’s outburst? That it justifies her acting so rudely?”

Nino blinked and looked at Adrien. “Of course, not, but it helps to understand.”

“Understand what? That she’s no different than the others before her that have lost loved ones? That it doesn’t matter what she said, that’s the matter of the fact.”

Nino furrowed his brow. “Mari’s words really got under your skin, didn’t they?”

“What? No! C’mon, man. I’ve been doing this for two years. If no one has bothered me before, then what makes you think this girl changes anything?”

“He’s lying,” Plagg’s voice echoed.

Adrien stiffened, then heel turned. “Quiet, Plagg! No one asked you.”

“If that were the case, then I’d never speak at all,” Plagg remarked.

“Care to fill in then, Plagg?” Nino asked.

“I told you he was lying. What more do you want?”

Nino rolled his eyes. “Whatever. Anyway, dude, it’s ok. We all have days like that. We’ve all learned to stand tall, but even we get knocked down. You may be our leader, but you’re not invincible. It’s ok.”

Adrien slowly shook his head. “What? No, it’s not. I can’t falter. I can’t be weak. I can’t let the world see my heart bleed. I have to be strong, always. I always have to be perfect.”

“I know, but I wish you didn’t have to be. I wish you could allow yourself those vulnerabilities, dude. To see that you’re not a machine, but a human being like the rest of us.”

Adrien looked away and remained silent. The silence hovered between them was broken when Queen Bee rushed in.

“Guys, we have a problem.”

Adrien scoffed. “Great. What now?”

“The Dupain-Cheng bakery was attacked again.”

Adrien and Nino exchanged glances. They transformed and followed Queen Bee to the bakery. A new swarm of cop cars surrounded the place. They landed by the front door as Chat Noir approached the chief.

“What happened?” Chat Noir demanded.

“We’d like to know the same thing. We left the boys here to finish gathering the evidence and the bodies, only to get a call from Queen Bee about all this. Now I’ve got more dead bodies, and it appears that the victims’ bodies are completely missing!” the chief yelled.

Carapace stepped forward. “Wait, Tom and Sabine’s bodies are gone? How? Where could they have gone?”

“Your enemy stole them,” Volpina’s distorted voice answered.

Chat Noir snarled. “Show yourself, coward!”

Purple light hovered over the register counter that formed into Volpina. She wore a black bodysuit. Her suit was highlighted with bright purple lights that ran up and down her body and cloth fox tail. Her torso and inner thighs were a gray as was the tip of her tail with a hint of white. She wore a Japanese fox mask that was decorated with the same lights on her suit.

“Evening, stupid cat,” Volpina purred.

“What do you know about what happened here?” Chat Noir demanded.

“Why should I tell any of you? You haven’t done anything useful with the information I’ve provided in the past. So, why should I?”

“We’re on the same side,” Carapace pointed out.

Volpina laughed. “That doesn’t mean I’ll be working with you. Not when you are all utterly incompetent.”

Queen Bee moved between the boys and Volpina. “Enough! This isn’t the time for bickering. Volpina, please, I know we aren’t on good terms, but any information can be helpful. I mean, I’ve never seen anything like this and would like to know what happened. Please.”

Volpina considered and sighed. “He was here. Your enemy.”

The heroes exchanged glances.

“Wait. You don’t mean, Papillon himself, do you?” the chief asked.

            Volpina nodded.

            “Did he kill my men?”

            “He did. A slice to the chest allowed Akumas to fly straight to the heart.”

            The chief cursed. “And Papillon?”

            “Who knows,” Volpina whispered.

            “I’m going to patrol the city. Maybe he’s still out there,” Queen Bee announced. She ran out before anyone could breathe a word.

            “I’m going to join her,” Chat Noir said and left.

            Carapace let out a sigh and looked around.

            “Everything ok, son?” the chief asked.

            “Uh, chief? I knew the family and their daughter. Am really good friends with her. Would you mind if I gathered her things? She’s staying with me and my girl.”

            The chief patted Carapace on the back. “I didn’t see you.”

            Carapace bowed his head and ran up into the apartment above. He came to a dead stop seeing the destruction down the hall. He crept closer and peered inside. His heart dropped into his stomach seeing the Sabine-sized indent in the wall. He covered his mouth as he felt bile rise up. He stepped closer and inspected the indent. He pressed his hand in it as fresh tears fell behind his mask.

            “I couldn’t protect you. I’m sorry,” Carapace whispered.

            Carapace knelt and offered a prayer. He took a shaky breath and stood. He moved to leave when he kicked the jewelry box across the floor. He rushed to scoop it up as a necklace with a tiny red pendant fell out from it. He picked up the necklace and inspected it. The pendant was half of the yin yang symbol with the string looped through the hole in the symbol. He wasn’t sure what it was supposed to be, but he put it back into the box.

            Carapace left the room and headed into the living area. He staggered as a new pain hit him. He looked around as memories played out before him. All the years he sent with the girls and the Dupain-Chengs. The blissful days of laughter and mirth to the worst days imaginable. There was always somewhere for him to retreat to. To feel safe and welcome no matter what came. Now it was all gone. Stolen away from him. From all of them.

            Carapace took a breath and headed up into Marinette’s room. He grabbed a couple backpacks from her closet and gathered important items. Her art supplies, sketchbooks, laptop, and chargers. He readied to head back downstairs when his eye caught something. He climbed up onto her bed and saw a homemade plushie of a woman in a ladybug style knight outfit that reminded him of the statue of Scarlet Knight. He smiled and held onto the doll, not wanting to squish it.

            Carapace headed back into the hall. He turned to leave but paused. He looked back at Tom and Sabine’s room and considered. He reentered it and searched the rubble. He discovered old photo albums and Marinette’s baby book within the wreckage. He placed them all in the remaining backpack and looked around. He didn’t find anything else until he checked the other nightstand. There was a false panel and underneath was the collection of Tom’s recipes. He scooped it up and held it with the doll. He did a double take, found nothing more, then headed home.

            Carapace stood near his apartment. He disappeared into an alley, de-transformed, and headed inside. He headed up into his apartment. He smiled, expecting to see the girls, but it was empty. He pulled out his phone and saw a message from Alya explaining that Marinette would be leaving to visit family.

            Nino frowned, a touch disappointed. He shook it off and headed into the spare bedroom. He carefully placed Marinette’s things on the bed. He took one last look at them before he shut the door.

~~

            Chloe returned to her room in the hotel after a long patrol. Neither she nor Chat Noir found any trace of Papillon. Disappointment tore through her that mingled with rage. She was so close to finding Papillon. They could have put an end to everything. They would have saved the city, but he was just gone.

            Chloe stepped into her dark room. She moved for the lights but stopped. She eyed Lila passed out on her bed. She smiled and approached Lila as her eyes adjusted to the darkness. She sat on the bed and watched Lila for a moment before her eyes were drawn to the fox tattoo on Lila’s back.

            Chloe sighed and curled up beside Lila. It was no secret to her who Lila really was. She had known for a while, even if Lila believed she was in the dark. Long had she considered taking up arms with Volpina. To work beside her heart and do something, but she always stopped herself. As dear as Lila was, she couldn’t turn her back on Adrien, who was always there for her. When the world turned against her, he was all she had. They were there for each other and she couldn’t abandon him. Even so, her faith wavered.

            Chloe was done. She wanted this endless war to finally end. She was tired of seeing the people suffer. She was sick of the numerous casualties lost to Papillon. She didn’t want to fight anymore. She just wanted to live a peaceful life with her Lila. For them to not be on opposing sides of this war. For them, and everyone, to finally be free.

            Chloe clung to Lila. How many more days would she have to face the enraged public? How many more months would she witness utter destruction? How many years before there was nothing left of her home? How many more times would she have to convince herself that an end was near? How many times will she have to stomp out her disappointment as the war raged on?

            Chloe sobbed quietly, not wanting to wake Lila. She clung to Lila as she lamented everything. She was startled slightly as Lila shifted. She grimaced, fearing she had woken Lila up, but Lila rolled over on top of her. She puffed out her cheeks in annoyance as Lila’s heavy body weighed on her. She shook the annoyance and urge to push Lila off, instead cuddling Lila. A few more tears fell before she fell asleep listening to the steady beat of Lila’s heart.

~~

            Papillon worked away in her dimly lit workshop. She sewed Tom’s body back together as Akumas slipped in under his skin. A sadistic grin spread as she watched the butterflies’ wings flutter under the skin as they spread throughout the body. Once she finished sewing it back up, shadow enveloped his body that wrapped him in a chrysalis. She proudly placed it on the ceiling opposite another cocoon.

            Papillon moved onto Sabine’s corpse. She twirled her cane and transformed it into a carving knife. She carefully cut along the major blood vessels to the heart. She created a large kaleidoscope of butterflies that swarmed around her and Sabine. She took a sharp breath as they infested Sabine’s corpse, forcing the cuts closed. Shadows enveloped the body in another chrysalis. She placed Sabine’s cocoon next to the one opposite Tom’s.

            Papillon looked at the first cocoon as it pulsed. She smiled softly and ran a hand along it. “I know, I know. You’ve been ready for a long time. You’re ready to emerge and show your new wings to the world. But just a little more time yet. When the time is right, you will be able to show the world what your love did to cause all this. Just a little more time.”

            The pulsing of the cocoon faded. Papillon snickered and headed to leave. She paused to gaze upon her creations. Smug, sick satisfaction filled her as she smirked and left.

#miraculous #miraculous ladybug #miraculoustalesofladybugandcatnoir #au #miraculous au #alternate universe #miraculous fanfic #mlb fanfic #fanfiction writer #fanfiction #fanfic #adrien agreste #nino lahiffe #chloe bourgeois #chat noir #queen bee #carapace #volpina #papillon #absolution #absolution au #tw horror #cw horror #tw body horror #cw body horror

[wormchaser]

save me savage garden also..im very ready to be nostalgic for april of last year or the year before i forget where i lost my phone ina random field in orewa and had to listen to my walkman and i just got a savage garden cd from hugo for my birthday and i listened to it on repeat for like a week ...

[zahri-melitor]

20 and 27!

20 interests me because I rarely reread my fics: I have to forget that I wrote them first and that takes a while!

20: what work do you reread the most?

Do you know, my major reread prompt is getting comments to respond to? So I go back over things to get into the mindset of the story.

Outside of essentially doing a canon review, it’s probably Tabloid Media in the Nexus, Little Chick in a Nest, Coming Home (over time). Orange Juice is probably the pick of the stories I’ve written this year. It’s usually stories I can’t get the vibes I want from somewhere else, that also make me laugh.

27: what do you listen to while writing?

I mostly don’t! Occasionally I’ll find a piece that makes me really vibe with a story/relationship that also I can stand on repeat and that becomes a background reminder (Find Out What It Means To Me was written with Something Like This on repeat), but I mostly like space for my thoughts when writing.

That said, the picture frames have changed and so has your name did have a little daydream playlist that I used on occasion when I wanted to think about the story in more technical terms:-

I Don’t Know You Anymore - Savage Garden (this is where the title is from)

Catch My Disease (That’s the Way I Like It) - Ben Lee

Not Pretty Enough - Kasey Chambers

The Special Two - Missy Higgins (actually super apropos as the song is about conflict resolution between two sisters over a betrayal)

Crash and Burn - Savage Garden

No Right Angles - Ben Lee

Yes, I’m aware this is a pretty old list.

#dc ask meme

[survey--s]

615.

Have you ever left your front door unlocked all night?  Our door locks automatically so it's not possible, but my parents did once and they got broken into - stole the car off the drive and my mum's handbag off the table. The car was found a few days later smashed into a wall.

Do you prefer cold or warm weather?  Around 18-20 degrees is perfect for me.

The last advertisement you saw: What was it advertising?  I have no idea, further education or something maybe?

Do you prefer bar or liquid soap?  Liquid.

Do you wear any perfumes / colognes on a regular basis?  I wear body spray everyday, yeah. My current one is vanilla scented.

Do you have high or low self esteem levels?  I think they're just pretty normal, to be honest.

When was the last time you listened to a song on repeat? What was the song?  It was Savage Daughter by Ekaterina but don't remember when, maybe last week sometime?

How do you feel about being in the house alone?  I absolutely love it, I find it really peaceful.

What was the last compliment you received?  I can't remember off the top of my head.

Do you like mint or orange flavored chocolate?  I like both but prefer mint.

How often do you get spots? Like, pimples?  Just around my period.

Do you believe that when your ears burn someone is talking about you?  Ha, no, but I remember my mum saying that all the time when I was younger.

Are you a good host when visitors come over or do you wish they’d leave? I mean, I only have visitors over when they've been invited so of course I'm polite and host them properly.

When was the last time you burnt your mouth from eating something too hot?  I don't remember.

What is your favorite foreign language to listen to? (In music or speech)  French.

Do you prefer instrumental songs or ones with lyrics?  Ones with lyrics. I'm really not a massive fan of instrumental music unless it's being played as part of a soundtrack.

Name something simple that makes you happy.  Iced coffee.

What is your favorite instrument to listen to?  Piano or acoustic guitar.

Pick one: Books, movies or music?  I like all three.

Do you carry a bag around with you often? What does it look like?  Yeah, it's just a small black cross-body bag that can be converted to a bum bag when I'm at work.

Do you like your natural hair color?  Sure.

Do you delete your emails / texts often?  Yeah, I clean up my phone regularly and never keep stuff I don't need.

What was the last book you read about?  I haven't touched a book in about six months, honestly.

What color are the walls in the room you’re in?  Two are dark red and two are grey.

Did you dress up last Halloween? As what? No.

Do you have any old friends who you still kinda speak to but it’s awkward?  Yeah, I suppose so. I guess that's what happens when you grow up and life takes you in completely different directions.

Name one of your favorite memories.  Our wedding day.

Are you a polite person?  Yes, when I have to be.

When was the last time you used a quote from a movie in real life? Earlier on today, I think.

Have you ever used a chat-up line that actually worked?  Nope. Not seriously, anyway.

Can you put your legs behind your head?  No. I have joint issues in my back and hips.

Do you forget things easily? Nope, I have the opposite problem.

The last song you listened to: Did it have a male or female vocalist?  Female.

Is the heating on in your house currently?  No, though it is starting to get colder especially in the evenings. We generally don't put the heating on until October/November though as it just costs so much money. We do have the fire but Mike was looking up the cost of coal yesterday and it's practically tripled haha.

Do you often find toothpaste too minty?  Not really. I did when I was younger, though.

Have you ever had braces? Do you need them?  No. My bottom teeth are a bit overcrowded but honestly it doesn't make any difference to my life.

Are you a subscriber to any magazines? Which?  No.

What does your voice sound like? (Loud, quiet, high pitched, etc)  Fairly quiet and I have a bit of a lisp.

#survey #surveys

[silurisanguine]

Fic authors self rec! When you get this, reply with your favorite five fics that you've written, then pass on to at least five other writers. Let’s spread the self-love ♥️

Thanks!!! Okay, let's see....... 1 - Through Dark Waters Dishonored ( Emsider). This one is a series but really is all one story. Corvo's perspective of the void when he was trapped in stone by Delilah and what he learns from being there has consequences for his daughter's future.

'Vanishing again and then appearing sitting out on a obsidian stone outcrop, he looked down at Corvo.

“You though, dear Corvo, seem to be my guest here for now. Delilah has used her magic to trap you within the stone of the Void, your body is encased there as a statue to her triumph, but your spirit, I brought here.”

Corvo looked at the Outsider, then at his hand which was devoid of the Mark. He rubbed the bare skin and swallowed hard, looking up at the black eyed man, who also appeared different from the last time they had met. Suddenly he felt the heat return to his hand and the Mark reappeared, seared into his skin.

The Outsider grimaced.

“I cant abide Delilah’s meddling in what’s mine. This is returned to you now.”

Corvo glanced at his hand and the familiarity was comforting. But then a pang of worry came over him. He wasn’t there to protect his daughter, she was alone out there.' 2 - Paradigm Shift - Vampyr (McReid) Saddened by the loss of his mentor Elisabeth, Dr Reid returns to London to track down his progeny McCullum in the hopes of ....something. 'Closing the door firmly behind him he made his way down to the furnaces in the basement. After holding the case for what seemed like an eternity he threw it into the blazing furnace, watching as the last trace of Elisabeth sizzled into nothing. As the smoke rose so did his feelings for the woman who had saved him the night he had been turned and had guided him in ways his sire never did. Who had been his mentor, friend and who had felt a love for him that was not strong enough to remain in this world. Jonathan said a silent prayer for who ever or what ever bothered to listen. He'd never been a religious man, but events had shown him there were many things in the world he had no true understanding of, so saying a prayer was worth a shot.  As he closed the door to the furnace room, he turned to give one last look to the furnace. Everything that was Elisabeth had now been consumed by fire, sanitised by the flames. One last tear to be shed for her trickled down his cheek.' 3 - Savages - Vampyr McReid. Red eyed Dr Reid, not quite a Dragon, but oh so close seeks out the one man who still interested him in this dull world. ' Jonathan woke from a dream. A dream of blood and fire. Blood that surrounded him as he fought the Red Goddess, fire as he watched the flames consume Elisabeth. Events of his recent past that he just wanted to forget. He’d been the saviour, a bittersweet champion as his maker put it and now he was done. People he’d thought were friends had used him, friends he thought he understood and who understood him called him a betrayer. No. He was done with it all.'

4 - Rebirth of Icarus - Deus Ex Human Revolution. A series of connected shorts detailing the time it took for Adam to heal from his augmentation surgery . Told from perspective of Adam himself. 'Standing at the window of your apartment, you look out over the city below and for a moment the very fact you are there at all takes your breath away. If one thing had gone differently, you’d be dead, like everyone else at Sarif’s labs and yet somehow you survived. It had been four months since you were let out of the hospital. Four months since they helped you walk again, helped you hold a ball again, helped you see without blinding headaches. Four months and now here you were, back at home, alive. You’d woken up fourteen days after the surgery, they said. Fourteen days in an induced coma as your body healed from what had been done to it. Through repeated surgeries to change you from human to cyborg or Enhanced Human as they preferred to call it. What ever name they gave it, you had been fundamentally altered.'

5 - A Emerging Shadow. Thief/ Dishonored universes. A story of how my original character Kiara Black became both a feared thief thanks to her mentor Garrett and Marked one thanks to her love of the Void. 'Garrett slowly lid off the bed, still watching her closely and moved to crouch in front of her on the floor. He placed the bag in her lap and watched as she opened it, her eyes widening as she pulled out a single prong bonecharm. Kiara gasped, she’d been told The Outsider had no influence here so the Abbey left these states alone. Yet here was a bonecharm just like those she had found in Morley and Dunwall.

"Where did you get this? I didn’t think anyone knew about these here."

Kiara could see Garrett was nervous about something, his fingers kept rubbing together on his left hand, even though the rest of him was motionless and seemed focused on the charm in her hand. She straightened her back as she made herself more comfortable under his gaze, though she had to admit it was difficult. He looked up at her, his eyebrows knitted together, his concern obvious.

"What is that thing?"

#Fanfic meme #self fic rec

[tartlette1968]

I wanted to memorise the poem, "Strange Meeting", by Wilfred Owen.

A little background about Wilfred Owen:

He was a soldier in the first World War, and friends with Siegfried Sassoon, another war poet. Wilfred Owen was able to express the heart of war, death, and the futility of combat with condensed simplicity. He died in the war. It was his mother who brought his poems to the world, and those poems added to that sense we now have of war.

So, to "Strange Meeting".

I recorded myself reading the poem so I could listen to it over and over enough times to learn it. I'm nearly there.

But, in listening to it, and then repeating it, I have also found an understanding of it.

Now, I'm not going to just type the poem out, here, I'm going to paraphrase it, because I want to show off my newly gained understanding.

So here it is, my understanding of Wilfred Owen's "Strange Meeting".

I found myself away from the war. In a huge, centuries old dark cavern far below the ground. There were people everywhere, on the ground Though they were sleeping, they were sleeping poorly, tossing, turning, making unhappy sounds.

I was prodding them, and poking, trying to rouse them but they were all either dreaming, or dead, Save for one, who stood up suddenly. He looked at me, and I knew he knew me. And on recognising me, he looked so sorry, He reached out his hands as if to say, "Not you, too."

And he smiled, a peculiar smile, and I suddenly realised where we were. His smile, kind of dead, told me we were deep in that subterranean realm of Hades, or hell, if you like. This person had about him such a deep sadness, A sadness I could not understand. There was no blood, no killing, no guns, no dying. We were far far away from the horror and awfulness of the war, Miles and miles far above us. "What makes you look so sad? There is no misery, here. Is there any reason to be so sorrowful?"

The stranger said, "Well, no, I guess not, unless you count all that won't be, now. I mean, look, you had a future, you had things to achieve, things to look forward too, And just like you, so did I." "I sought out that wonderful pleasure, that beautiful indulgent joy, Not that aesthetic beauty of someone's eyes, or long hair, I sought out the beauty of the pleasure of doing THINGS, things which made time irrelevant, Right? Those things that you do that make you forget the clock.

"I could have, with my happiness, brought so much joy to others, Even my tears stood for something, but whatever they stood for Has died with me. I have seen the truth, the reality of war. A truth I cannot tell, now. No one will hear of the sadness and tragedy I have seen, it will all be lost, unsaid, untold.

"Now, what will happen? Perhaps we have warred enough, destroyed enough, and this war will end, Or, maybe not, and they will get even angrier, even more savage, and there will be more bloodshed, more destruction. Oh, they will be so keen, so quick to strike and then strike back, fast, No matter how far backwards that will take civilisation, they will war on.

"Dammit! There was so much to explore, so much to discover, that I would have done. I have already learnt so much, I already know how to do so many things.

But now I will not see that world, That world where there is no need for defenses, walls, or danger. After all this blood has caked and dried, and bloodshed ceased I would have happily washed it all away, With the cleanest, sweetest water. There are so many wholesome, worthy causes, just, and right, I would have eagerly, happily spent my life on those too, But not with my blood through battle wounds, War is not worthy of that, war is obscene, foul, and too putrid a purpose. People have given their blood, sweat and tears without being wounded, without fighting wars.

I, my friend, was killed by you yesterday. I recognised you, here, because you had that same worry on your face As you thrust your bayonet through me. Oh, it was neither your fault, nor mine, I did try to fend off your attack, but in the cold, my hands failed me, In any case, let's rest, now, and sleep

#War #Wilfred Owen #Strange Meeting

[theunboundwriter]

Musical Asks Challenge

Thanks for the tag @itsbrittbeyotch I had a hell of a time.

A fun little game to see the diversity of your music taste.

Rules: Do NOT repeat songs and ONLY use songs that you have listened to in the last 6 months

1. Songs you like with a color in the title

Blu - Jon Bellion

2. Songs you like with a number in the title

1980s Horror Film II - Wallows

3. Songs that reminds you of summertime

Dog Days Are Over - Florence + The Machine

I've Been Dead All Day - Bayside

Why Do You Feel So Down - Declan McKenna

4. Songs that reminds you of someone you would rather forget

Anna Sun - Walk The Moon

Bullshit - Dune Rats

5. Songs that needs to be played LOUD

Rob A Bank - Confetti

Feed The Machine - Dead Mans Poison

Blonde Hair, Black Lungs - Sorority Noise

6. Songs that makes you want to dance

I'm The One - DJ Khaled (feat. Justin Beiber, Quavo, Chance the Rapper & Lil Wayne)

Hollaback Girl (Metal Version) - Leo

7. Songs you must SCREAM

The Drug In Me Is You - Falling In Reverse

My Heart Needs To Breathe - The Faim

8. Songs to drive to

Sex Sells - Lovejoy

Rot - DBMK

Ma Chérie (feat. Kellin Quinn) - Palaye Royale

Especially You - Wallows

Sober - FIDLAR

9. Songs that makes you happy

Projector - Set It Off

Another Song About Tequila - Tequila Mockingbird, Bohnes, Hudson Thames

Bella Ciao - Manu Pilas

10. Songs that makes you sad

Dirty Paws - Of Monsters and Men

Mother - Small Pools

Puff The Magic Dragon - Peter, Paul and Mary (Don't Judge Me)

Cancer - My Chemical Romance

11. Songs that you never get tired of

Shit Show - Peter McPoland

Straight Jacket - Theory of a Deadman

Life - Mother Mother

12. Songs that make you feel a certain way

All Time Low - Jon Bellion

Viva La Vida - Coldplay

Heathens - Twenty One Pilots

Twin Skeleton's (Hotel In NYC) - Fall Out Boy

13. Songs that made your childhood

Little Talks - Of Monsters and Men

Hey Soul Sister - Train

Some Nights - fun.

Somebody That I Used To Know - Gotye, Kimora

14. Songs you would love to be played at your wedding

Just My Soul Responding - Amber Run

15. Songs that are covered by another artist

I Got You - Train

Hot Girl Bummer - ANSON

Teenage Dirtbag - Cavetown, chloe moriondo

Evermore - Tethra

16. Songs that are not in your native language

ZITTI E BUONI- Måneskin

Amour Plastique - Videoclub

17. Songs from the year you were born

Seven Nation Army - The White Stripes

18. Songs you would sing duet with on karaoke

Men Are Trash - Scotty Sire (@itsbrittbeyotch Taco Bell drive thru flashbacks)

E-GIRLS ARE RUINING MY LIFE! - CORPSE, Savage Ga$p (@lexilouu yeah u know)

Carnivore - Bear Attack! (@bing1314 this has been stuck in my head for the past 8 years)

19. Songs that makes you think about life

Weak - AJR

Guns For Hands - Twenty One Pilots

20. Songs that have many meanings to you

I'm Gonna Win - Rob Cantor

Next Up Forever - AJR

Think About Things - Daði Freyr

21. Favorite songs with a person's name in the title

Achilles Come Down- Gang Of Youths

Nancy Mulligan - Ed Sheeran

Ramona - Jukebox The Ghost

Judy You Hung The Moon - HARBOUR

22. Songs that move you forward

Fuck You World - Rare Americans

Riot - Hollywood Undead (this song makes me feel like I could fight God)

23. Songs you think everybody should listen to

King of the Clouds - Panic! At The Disco

Misery - blink-182

Spiderhead - Cage the Elephant

Summer Is A Curse - The Faim

24. Songs by a band you wish were still together

Ob-La-Di, Ob-La-Da - Remastered 2009 - The Beatles

25. Songs by an artist no longer living

Wake Me Up - Avicii

26. Songs that make you want to fall in love

Someone To You - BANNERS

27. Songs that break your heart

This Isn't The End - Owl City

28. Songs by an artist with a voice you love

Gasoline - Halsey

House of Memories - Panic! At The Disco

29. Songs people would be surprised you listen to

To The Hellfire - Lorna Shore (the last few seconds of this song y'all)

Brutus - The Buttress (this song lowkey scared me the first time I listened to it)

30. Songs that remind you of yourself

Ghosting - Mother Mother

parents - YUNGBLUD

Bugbear - chloe moriondo

Sad Forever - Anthony Amorim

I invite anyone who sees this to join in! I had lot's of fun, but it literally took me about 3 hours

#laughing at 29 bc I dress like hippie fairy princess and listen to screamo #I was so emo in middle school #but a closeted emo #no one can know #my chemical romance #twenty one pilots #panic! at the disco #mother mother #cavetown #set it off #confetti #halsey #cage the elephant #bohnes #metalhead #alternative #indie music #i love ajr #blink 182 #music #tag games #tag game #rare americans #ed sheeran #emo music #fall out boy #emo trinity #jon bellion #ajr music #good music

[dinos0urs]

I was hanging out by my books earlier and on the corner of the shelf is this tiny little blue book I bought for a philosophy class I ended up dropping due to time conflict a few years back, "Discourse on Method and Meditations of First Philosophy" by René Descartes. I've never been very interested in philosophy, I read some Plato awhile back and found it infuriatingly tedious and huffily dismissed the entire discipline. But anyway, I was waiting for the coffee to steep and started flipping absent-mindedly through Descartes and let me tell you THIS MAN WAS A SAVAGE. The language is still a bit pedantic and frankly, dated in the worst sense, for my taste but even though it was published almost 400 years ago, there are so many parts that feel like they could have been written about the world today. I just wanted to share some quotes with y'all, those of you who care to indulge.

"Concerning philosophy I shall say only that, seeing that it has been cultivated for many centuries by the most excellent minds that have ever lived and that, nevertheless, there still is nothing in it about which there is not some dispute, and consequently nothing that is not doubtful, I was not at all so presumptuous as to hope to fare any better there than the others; and that, considering how many opinions there can be about the very same matter that are held by learned people without there ever being the possibility of more than one opinion being true, I deemed everything that was merely probable to be well-nigh false."

!!! Do y'all know how many times I've said to people, "why are we arguing about shit that experts, people who have dedicated their lives to understanding the subject, can't even agree on?" Say it again René.

Next page...

"For it seemed to me that I could find much more truth in the reasonings that each person makes concerning matters that are important to him (sic) and whose outcome ought to cost him (sic) dearly later on if he (sic) has judged badly, than in those reasonings engaged in by a man (sic) of letters in his study, which touch on speculations that produce no effect and are of no other consequence to him (sic) except perhaps that, the more they are removed from common sense, the more pride he (sic) will take in them, for he (sic) will have to employ that much more wit and ingenuity in attempting to render them plausible."

This one is applicable to so many modern situations but the one that jumped out most to me was all these right-wing youtubers lecturing about trans rights. Like why are you the one we should listen to? You have no dog in this fight other than to smirk all smug self-satisfied and Shapiro-esque after having tied yourself in knots trying to justify the pre-existing biases YOU WERE NEVER GOING TO EXAMINE ANYWAY. Might not be a bad idea to lend your ear to the people that actually stand to gain or lose the most on the merits of THEIR judgment concerning THEIR lives. Big ol’ jerks.

Moving on...

"Thus it is more custom and example that persuades us than any certain knowledge; and yet the majority opinion is worthless as a proof of truths that are at all difficult to discover, since it is much more likely that one man (sic) would have found them than a whole multitude of people. Hence I could not choose anyone whose opinions seemed to me should be preferred over those of the others, and I found myself, as it were, constrained to try to guide myself on my own."

I don't have much to add here that isn't already contained in the quote or repeated in folksy proverbs so often we forget the meaning. Just be careful of popularly held narratives and belief systems. More often than not peoples' beliefs are guided by trends and group mentalities rather than a pursuit of truth, kindness, or virtue. Examine the world for yourself, you are at least as qualified (if not infinitely more) to decide what's right and wrong in this world than any item on the laundry list of cult heroes, influencers, pseudo-gurus, and crooked politicians we so flippantly allow remote-access to our consciences these days.

------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Now, not that I imagine anybody read this far, but if you did and you're interested in reading Descartes I should probably mention that alongside some of the more insightful passages I encountered there were also plenty of passages that...well...sound exactly as ethnocentric as you'd imagine a man from France during the height of European colonialism would sound. :/ Like it's pretty gruesome y'all be careful out there. This post isn't meant to be an endorsement as much as a documentation of my altogether strange and surprising reading experience this morning so take from that what you will.

#it was really nice reading a physical book again too I've been stuck on the kindle for far too long I highlighted and made notes what a rush #booklr #bookaholic #bookworm #books #descartes #rene descartes #philosophy #17th century #thoughts #personal musings #fuck idk man

[mykingdommusic]

DESCENT INTO MAELSTROM is what I already considered an innovative band because with their sound they are able to create something new expanding the limits of extreme music. Twisted and complex rhythm, savage riffing and gratifyingly dark ambience are united so that their Dodecaphonic Metal will enchant many. The new album “Dei Consentes” will be out in a few days on April 5th anticipated by the single “Mater” and it is for sure the most direct and powerful that the band has ever created. We have talked with Andrea Bignardi guitar and voice of this incredible band.

1. Give us a short presentation of DESCENT INTO MAELSTROM and let us know more about the choice of this moniker.

The name Descent Into Maelstrom comes from the Edgar Allan Poe short story of the same name. In the band's first album we made many references to its literature very often and therefore gave the initial imprinting, even if these themes were gradually abandoned

2. DESCENT INTO MAELSTROM represent a confirmation in the Italian extreme Metal scene. With this album you've reached the goal of the third full-length. How could you present this new album to the public and how different it is from the previous ones?

I think this is the climax of our production, it's the most complete work in both complexity and heaviness that we ever write. I think it's different from the previous one because we did a lot of experimentation with the two EPs Gehenna and Nocturnal Transfiguration, in which we found a lot of new ideas and gained experience. All this lead to Dei Consentes.

3. Your music is very intricate and played in a magnificent way, thanks also to great musicians. How music does DESCENT INTO MAELSTROM differ from the actual scene where everything seems to go toward a more simple direction?

Well, as always we wanted to write music in a way that the content, the topic if you let me, drives the musical choices. So we never think about a new song with the approach “I'm going to write a death metal song”, but we find the right element (for us, of course) that it's useful to the mood of the song, or the album. Then we introduced more and more dodecaphonic music, which creates that tension that you might listen to in our recent works.

4. You call your music as Dodecaphonic Metal. Would you explain me better this concept?

The dodecaphonic music was invented by Arnold Schoenberg in the first years of the 20th century, it uses all the twelve chromatic notes as the scale of the song (I'm really, really simplifying). The scales become “series” because, in theory, all the notes should be repeated only once, when the series is playing. There is some mathematics behind it and I (as a programmer and basically a geek) created a small program to calculate the series and all its permutations, on which we create chord progressions, lite motifs, and so on. I know, it sounds difficult, and it is. We did a lot of study to achieve this.

5. The sound of DESCENT INTO MAELSTROM can be represented like a bridge between the old school of DEATH and PESTILENCE, the fury of BEHEMOTH without forgetting the Progressive elements of OPETH and EDGE OF SANITY. In which way these bands have been part of your musical pantheon?

We always tried to finetune the balance of these influences, mostly Death, Behemoth, and Opeth of the band that you listed. The reality is that we are completely different musicians and with different tastes, so I guess all these influences came as the interpretation that any of us gives to them.

6. "Dei Consentes" is the title of your debut album. I know there is an interesting concept behind it, can you describe it in a few words?

We tried to imagine what if the ancient roman gods were existing in modern society. We did this to create a parallelism between the failures and the flaws of today's society and them.

7. Behind DESCENT INTO MAELSTROM: - 5 favorite bands:Death, Behemoth, Opeth, Cynic and Septic Flesh - 5 essentials albums: The Sound of Perseverance (Death), Evangelion (Behemoth), Blackwater Park (Opeth), Titan (Septic Flesh) - 3 essentials movies: One Flew Over the Cuckoo's Nest, The Lord of the Rings, Blade Runner       - the song you wish you had written: Crystal Mountain (Death)

[theinsanecrayonbox]

X-Force #36 time

The opening sequence was the best part. The mental image of Arkady buying Barbie clothes at the mall, the team refusing to listen to Beast and him being a whiny baby about it, the mutant cannibal restaurant, all the dismemberment, good times all around. After that though…well maybe it’s just a me thing, but I was honestly kind of lost.

Shut up you whinny baby you brought this on yourself with your evilness

Anywhos! Yeah, getting lost because this is making reference points but not saying what it’s referencing…

So was Beast given detention in another book, or we just gonna assume no one cares about his illegal war crimes again? This doesn’t have notes saying “this book follows after this other book”. But we are bringing up Mikhail? So this is connected to X Lives? And this is the first I’ve heard about this XENO group; have they been a long running threat? Peacock man isn’t Xeno but is part of XENO I guess???

The team take the left overs from their sting operation back to the island of stupid to study.

Wait, was that the mutant body parts auction house where Logan found Maverick? Is that what they’re referencing? I didn’t read that one because I was only there’s for Arkady…so XENO has been a long running plot point in Percy’s books I guess then?? Also, Beast shut up, what you were doing is still evil, especially when the excuse “the bad guys are being evil so I can too”

Domino gets some character focus, with internal dialog repeating the memo for some reason (this’ll happen again later, it’s weird), but when did XENO carve her up like a turkey? Was that the mission Sage drunk passed out on? Was this earlier in the series? Why is there no editor’s note to remind readers when this happened? Again if it was earlier in the series fair enough (I only started reading it once Arkady was respawned after all), but if it should still have some note you’d think.

She goes to see Colossus who’s in the Savage Land I guess, no establishing text box (no editor note, no establishing caption, is this book allergic to non-dialog? It told us they were in Mumbai in the beginning though). I guess he’s had issues since the last time I saw him…back in the X-Force issue that Beast murdered Arkady in and the island thought Piotr was a spy or something stupid

The Russian text says “Chronicler”, so I guess this memo repeating the scene we just saw ‘makes sense’ then, but it’s still weird that there was several points of repeating what was just said and done.

We then have a team meeting about the bad guys and the respawn egg they somehow stole at some point. Beast is a jerk to Dom, everyone is still deferring to Sage. We cut to the auction house, finally see Peacock man. Beast says “they totally can’t use our egg guys, jurist me on this” over us seeing that they so totally figured out how to. So yeah.

I’m not really sure what to say about this honestly. I’m a tad annoyed we see no repercussions for Beast yet again, and I’m confused by references that aren’t noted as such. Again I admit part of that is my fault for only reading one piece…but it wasn’t labeled as having other pieces, and it’s not telling me where I can find those other pieces. I’m sure if I had full context, this would be really good plot progression. But as is, I just enjoyed the Barbie outfits and gory action in the opening more than anything else.

I also get that maybe there’s a rush to wrap up plot lines too, because SoS is starting and seems to be a chapter marker?? Idk guys…but oh again, in Weapon X-Force Dom had her dna harvested to make super human, but nope not gonna address that (plus she saw Arkady in a different uniform too! Why do we keep forgetting that series happened???)

#kp reads comics #kp rants about comics

[mermistan]

were we born to abuse, shoot a gun and run or has something deep inside of us come undone? is it a human trait, or is it learned behaviour? are you killing for yourself, or killing for your saviour?

for @biguwurayla

#catra #catra spop #spop #She-Ra #she ra #safecatra #froot... the entire album is very catra.. #i listened to savages and forget on repeat #my art #mine #also idk abt backgrounds or shadows rip

[ozarkthedog]

𝐓𝐡𝐞 𝐏𝐮𝐧𝐢𝐬𝐡𝐦𝐞𝐧𝐭 | Nomad!Steve Rogers

summary: You disobeyed Steve and now you must make it up to him.

warnings: SMUT. 18+ only. Nomad!Steve Rogers. Dom/Sub Relationship. Daddy Kink. “Little One” Nickname. Crying. Angst? Bondage. Degradation. Overstimulation. Forced Orgasms. Asphyxiation. Anal Play. Hitachi Belt. Spreader Bar. Aftercare.

word count: 3,057

author’s note: I started writing this last year and totally forgot about it. oops! 💙

📖 Master List

This work has Adult Content. By clicking “Keep Reading” you have agreed that you are over the age of 18 and are willing to view such content. My work is not to be copied or translated onto any other platform. 

“You didn’t do as you were told, so shut it.” Steve snarled with a harsh grip on your jaw.

He shoved himself away from you just as you began to weep. You let the tears fall freely, hating that you upset him so much.

Steve was seething as he stood in front of the fireplace, hands bracing on the mantle as his thoughts raced. Teeth clenched together in fury at the memory of finding you with your legs spread wide with fingers pumping away furiously in your cunt. He had to clear his throat twice in order for you to realize he was standing in front of you.

He was feeling savage. He wanted to teach you a lesson you’d never forget. He needed you to abide by his rules completely. You were his and he was yours. He’d never had someone he cared so much about and he intended on making this relationship work. No matter how difficult it was at times.

You stood nervously waiting for him to acknowledge you again. Fingers twisted together as you sniffed the remaining tears away. The thin white dress Steve insisted you wear at all times while home made you feel so exposed. The fabric could tear so easily just like the relationship you built with him.

But you were determined to not let that happen.

With Steve still looking away, you knelt down on the dark flooring. The wood solid beneath your trembling knees, “Daddy.” Barely a whisper but it made Steve cock his head to the side, listening.

You cleared your throat wanting to speak clearly, “Daddy. I’m sorry. I didn’t mean to disrespect you but sometimes I just can’t control myself.” The admission made you cast your eyes to the floor out of embarrassment. How could he love you?

Sniffling you carried on, “I will take any punishment you deem fit. I won’t talk back. I will take what you give me.” Your fingers dig into your thighs waiting with bated breath for his response.

Steve sighed watching the flames dance in the fireplace. The warmth from the flames mixed with his lust driven heat as he spied you kneeling on the floor. You looked so delicate. So easy to manipulate and dig his teeth into.

He bit his lip at the image of you writhing around in that pretty white dress he bought you. His blood began to boil.

Turning on his heel he stalks towards you, smirking as the perfect punishment comes to mind. “Little One…” Your head whips up quickly at his voice as he nears you, coming to a stop over your kneeling form.

“Follow me.” He commands and he turns towards the stairs making his way to your shared bedroom. You follow behind running slightly to keep up with his large gait. Steve holds open the bedroom door as you wait in front of him, trepidation flooding your system.

“Once you step over the threshold, I’m in control, completely. No crying, no whining, nothing will get you out of your punishment.” His stare holds yours. His authority washes over, drowning you in him.

Once again you repeat your words, “I will take what you give me, Daddy.” Your voice breaks as you call him Daddy, forever always wanting to call him that.

Steve grazes your cheek with the back of his finger lightly before letting his hand fall to your shoulder, pushing you into the bedroom. The sound of the lock clicking sparks excitement in your core as you wait at the foot of the bed for him.

Steve comes up behind you, wrapping his arms around you, “Sit on the bed and watch as I set things up.”

Steve only made you watch as he set out the implements he intended using on you when he was truly mad. You watched as he disappeared into the closet before reappearing with a set of high heels.

Your brow furrowed in wonder as he set the heels down at your feet before going back to the closet. You peered down at the extravagant pumps, red in color with an extremely high, stiletto heel.

You remembered he bought them for you a while back but they were so uncomfortable you could never wear them out. Your attention was disrupted when Steve set a leather belt of sorts with an extra loop on the bed along with an Hitachi wand.

He walked over to the “play wall” and attached 2 separate wrist restraints to the rings in the wall. Your heart rate picked up as his intentions were revealed.

He means to make you suffer.

His dark eyes lingered on yours for a moment before speaking. “I’m allowing the safe word, but only, and I mean only if you truly can’t go on.” You bit your lip as he spoke out the next commands.

“Take off your dress and put those heels on.” He nods down to the red stilettos waiting to be put to use. You stood on shaky feet, slowly unbuttoning the white fabric before slipping it off your shoulders leaving you bare to him.

Steve watched as you bent over, sliding your feet into the heels before standing tall and gathering your footing. The heels easily made you 4” taller as you stood waiting for his next command.

Already your ankles were starting to hurt. The awkward angle of the heels forced all your body weight onto your toes making them scream. Steve let you stand there a few minutes, enjoying your discomfort before continuing.

“Walk over to the wall and place your hands in the cuffs.” You sneak a glance at him before slowly making your way over. The heels made you so unsteady, you raise your arms out to the sides to balance as you walk at a snail’s speed.

“If you don’t pick up the pace, I’m going to drag you over there and I won’t be nice about it.” Steve grits with annoyance watching as you jolt mid step and almost topple over. Somehow you caught yourself and made your way to the wall as fast as you could.

You turn around facing Steve as you slipped your wrists into the restraints high above your head and waited patiently. “Good Girl.” Steve smirks walking over to you and then gathers the cuffs before pulling them tight against your wrists and locking you up.

“Now the real fun can begin. Are ready?” He turns to pick up the leather belt coming back with a grimace on his face, his tone laced with displeasure at having to repeat himself, “I asked are you ready, Little One?”

You gasp a reply once you realized he wanted you to speak, “Yes, Daddy.”

Steve huffed and shook his head, “You’re going to have to start paying attention better. This won’t be good for you if you’re already starting to slip.” He bends down helping you step through the leather belt and buckles it over your waist.

He steps back and gazes over your tied-up form. He always did enjoy tying you down and making you squirm. He palms at his growing hard on before stepping up to you, caging you against the wall with his massive body causing you to let out a breathy squeal.

He tips your head to look up at him. “You want to make this up to me? Then you’re going to work for it. I’m going to make you wish you never disobeyed me, Little One.” He lets his threat hang in the air as he walks back to the bed retrieving the Hitachi.

He attaches it to the leather belt and secures it against your already slick pussy. He scoffs, “Being in this predicament turns you on? God, what a slut.”

Your cheek heat with embarrassment as he nestles the wand head flush against your throbbing mound. Grunting aloud when he forces it over your clit harshly.

As he works on making it stay in place he speaks, “You’re allowed to scream, thrash about, cry, whatever. But you’re not allowed to ask me to take you out of these binds. You’re staying like this until I say otherwise.” You nod your head in compliance even though you were scared of the outcome. Granted, you knew he would listen if you safe worded but this wasn’t about that.

Steve needed to know he could trust you, he needed to know you’d listen to his every word and abide by it. So, you swallowed down your fear and raised your head, ready for whatever he chose to do to you. “Yes, Daddy.”

Steve smoothed his hands over your hips as he stood to his full height. The way your breasts jutted out from your arms being raised over your head called out to be fondled but Steve kept his lust hidden. This wasn’t about him right now.

He leaned down and turned the wand on, clicking it until it sped up to the 3rd highest setting. Your body instantly spasmed. The strong vibrations were unyielding and forced you to feel the pleasure.

Instinctively, your legs closed together trying to keep the powerful vibrations at bay. The wand swayed in the air but never left your core. The movement causes you to see stars as it jostles against your folds.

“What do you think you’re doing? Trying to thwart your punishment already?” His tone was deadly. “Don’t worry, I have the perfect thing.”

Steve wanders away leaving you in a withering mess as you teeter in the heels. Your breathing quickens as you feel your orgasm coming on quickly. You pull at the wrist restraints frantically, “Daddy! Please! I’m close!” You call out desperately for him, not sure if he’s allowing you to cum or not.

Steve shouts his reply from deep inside the closet, “Go ahead and cum, Little One!”

He murmurs to himself as he spies what he came looking for, “It’ll the first of many.”

You cum with a wail as the vibe makes you convulse against the bondage wall. Your pussy twitches around nothing as your thighs shake trying to dislodged the horrid wand from your sensitive core.

“Here you go.” Steve says with amusement as he kneels down wrapping a cuff around your left ankle.

You look down in shock as Steve lines up the other cuff to your right ankle before strapping it to the spreader bar. “Now there’s no possible way for you to ease your punishment.” The biggest smirk is planted on his face as another wave of forced arousal courses through you sending you up another blissful peak.

“Awe, is my little Slut already feeling sensitive? That was only one orgasm. If you think I’m letting you out after 3, you’re in for a world of hurt.” His voice was cold sending you careening towards another orgasm.

Your eyes slammed shut as the tingling sensation lit up your nerves and sent you crashing down with another hard orgasm.

You tried catching your breath as the vibe forces more pleasure from you. The restraints hold your arms up so well you couldn’t even move them around all they could do was quake against the wall.

Heavy, pained mewls fill the room as you pant wildly taking every vibration as best as you can.

“Look at you. You love this.” He laughs at your pitiful attempts of trying to not cum. He palms at your tense face, pinched with determination. “Oh, it must hurt. The over stimulation must be torture.”

Distress paints your features as he degrades you further, “But that little pussy of yours got you in trouble. Such a greedy, little hole.” He enunciates the curse word with a pop to your cheek before taking your jaw back in his grip.

You gasp at the painful sensation heating the side of your face as it mingles with your swollen, sensitive mound. “Daddy! I-” Your orgasm starts up again fueled by the assaults on your body.

His fingers dig into the sides of your cheeks as you topple off the cliff with a shout. His hand keeps your face still, pushing back on the wall behind you.

“That was 3, Little One. I want to tear 7 out of that cunt tonight.” His breath hot on your neck as he forces his body over you.

Your body shakes at his command. A ragged sigh escapes you feeling worn out already from the onslaught of torture.

Steve cants his hips up and into your body, pushing the Hitachi harder against your mound. “No! Oh! Da- ” You shake your head as you feel another orgasm slithering its way through your system.

Teeth gnaw at your neck, biting up and down the crook of the soft skin. His muffled moans fill your ears as he thrusts his growing hardon into the toy, in return causing you to tumble down another peak.

The forced orgasm makes your body lock up, tight and ridged as your knees start to buckle and you sag in the restraints. Steve feels you slide down, hanging by your wrists letting the pain and torturous pleasure take over.

“Hey, now. None of that.” He grasps the hair at the base of your neck and pulls until your steady on 2 feet. “Don’t give up on me yet. You still have 3 more to go.”

You stare at him with hazy eyes. Your mind foggy and filled with nothing but determination even though your body wants to give up.

Steve swipes his thumb over your lips before he leans in for a soft kiss. The feeling of his lips as they slide over yours sends a fresh heightened wave of bliss up your spine. You moan lewdly into his mouth as he laps at your tongue.

He enjoys watching your tired body respond to the new sensations. He pulls away as you whine from the loss. “Hush.” He says, sternly with a harsh smack to your breasts causing you to spasm and scream in your bonds as another orgasm is ripped from you.

Your muscle fibers feel aflame as you come down from your 5th orgasm that night. Your head whips from side to side, unconsciously wanting to put an end to this punishment. You’re a quivering mess, tugging at your binds out of necessity.

“Stop it. You can do this. Show me you can do as I say.” Steve says with a firm voice, encouraging you. “Make it worth all the pain.”

You sniffle and close your eyes as Steve blots at some fallen tears rolling down your cheek. You open your eyes just as his lips close around his salty digits with a husky, satisfied groan.

Gnawing at your bottom lip your try to distract yourself from the overwhelming pain burning through your core and dragging you over hot coals. Steve’s hands wrap around your body, forming over the fleshy globes of your ass and grinds his straining girth against your heated body.

“If only you were good, it would’ve been my cock dragging all these orgasms from you.” His teeth clash onto your clavicle, drawing blood to the surface with a sneer, “Instead, I’m just going to have rut against you as your cunt drools all over the floor.”

His fingers slide their way between your cheeks, rubbing tenderly over your puckered rim causing your eyes to roll back, hard. Breath hitches in your throat as you propel steadily towards another raw crest.

“Maybe I should take pity on you and open this hole up. You did always cum so easily with my fingers up your ass.” He gloats, tapping the tight right of muscle in quick succession eliciting a frantic wail from your lips as you tip over the tumultuous edge.

Your head lolled forward resting against his powerful chest as exhaustion takes over. Your will power was dying and you let the tears flow. “Daddy, I can’t.”

Steve shook his head, “Not when we made it this far. You’re not giving up.”  

A calloused hand locks tightly around your neck cutting off your carotid artery. In an instant your mind spins, brain desperate for blood flow as your vision becomes blurred.

You tug uselessly at your bindings. Body shaking, ready to implode and cave in on yourself. Your ankles give way and the heels fall from your feet making Steve crush you harder into the wall.

His lips brush against your swollen ones, his beard tickling your dewy skin. “So close, you’re so close. Give me what I want. Show me you how sorry you are.”

Darkness sweeps in as your mouth opens and closes like a fish desperate for water. Your body feels light as a feather, no longer could you feel the vibrations rustling your sopping core and your sore muscles ceased their tension as you give into the murky depths.

 A warm hand cups your cheek as a deep, soothing voice tempts you back from the sleepy haze. “Wake up, Little One.”

Your eyes flutter open and you find yourself in the comfort of Steve’s arms. A wet washcloth runs between your legs making you wince. Even the softest fibers felt like sandpaper as he cleans your swollen folds. “I’m sorry but just a little more and I’ll be done.”

You curl into his chest, unsure how to feel. Had you made him happy? You couldn’t remember orgasming the final time. The last image you had was Steve wrapping his hand around your throat.

You timidly swallow, feeling slight bruises pepper your jugular. Your throat raw from crying and screaming for the last hour. Steve set the rag down with a sigh and dropped his chin to look at you.

“Did I do good?” You bottom lip trembling with hope.

Steve runs a hand over tear-stained cheek and breathes out a soft chuckle, “You did. So good you passed out as you came all over me.” Steve tilts his head towards the pile of clothes currently stained with your arousal. “Made such a mess and showed me how good you are.”

Soft lips kiss your hairline and ease the stress you’d been holding ever since he found you touching yourself without his permission.

“I’m proud of you for being so strong. You made Daddy very happy.”  

Your eyes sleepily shut and you melt into the safety of his hold knowing everything would be ok.

#steve rogers #steve rogers x reader #Chris Evans #steve rogers x you #steve rogers/you #steve rogers/reader #steve rogers fanfic #steve rogers fanfiction #steve rogers smut #steve rogers oneshot #steve rogers imagine #ozzie writes

[specialagentsergio]

rationalizations

rationalizations: a defense mechanism in which one makes up a false but reassuring explanation to explain their behavior and/or feelings to both themselves and others, thus avoiding the reality of why they are really acting or feeling as they do.

summary: You’re the psych evaluation for Spencer. You think he’s full of shit, so you refuse to sign his clearance form until he actually tells the truth.

pairing: spencer reid x f!reader

category: angst (happy ending)

content warnings: spencer’s canonical trauma, flashbacks, mentions of suicide and suicidal ideation, swearing

a/n: i wrote this for @imagining-in-the-margins‘ enemies to lovers event. it’s not my favorite trope, but one of the prompts sparked inspiration for me. i also took a good amount of inspiration from meredith’s various therapy scenes in grey’s anatomy, so if some of it feels familiar, that’s why! i swear i intended to make this cute and funny, but, well… here we are lmao.

word count: 3.6k

masterlist

Spencer throws his bag onto his desk with a frustrated huff. It thumps loudly, startling JJ at her desk across from his. She gives him a sympathetic look regardless. “Still not cleared yet?”

“No!” Forgetting that it’s wheeled, he drops himself into his chair. It skids backwards and he has to scramble to grab something to keep from falling out of it.

“Careful there,” JJ says, trying valiantly to suppress a laugh. “That psychologist's got you really worked up, huh?”

“I don’t know what she wants from me!” he complains. “It’s been nearly a month! Hotch’s ex-wife was murdered by an unsub, but they cleared him. I was only shot in the neck.”

“I mean, that’s still kind of a big deal,” she says. “You could’ve died, from the gunshot, or from the nurse that tried to kill you afterwards.”

“Speaking of that nurse,” he starts, “Garcia is the one who shot him and she’s been a wreck over it. She insisted on going to the guy’s execution. But the therapist cleared her!”

“Penelope’s not in the field,” JJ points out.

He crosses his arms. “Still. This isn’t the first time I’ve been shot. That possibility is part of the job. It’s not like it came out of nowhere and I was completely unprepared for it.”

“I don’t know what to tell you, Spence,” she says. “Just keep all of your appointments and I’m sure you’ll be cleared soon.”

He pulls a stack of papers on his desk towards him. Paperwork—one of the things he’s actually allowed to do. “I better be,” he mutters.

---

“And it was really scary, you know?” Spencer wipes at his eyes with a tissue. “Not knowing if I was going to live or die.”

“Mm-hmm.”

He takes a deep breath. “But… it’s over now. The preacher who shot me died in the same shootout. Owen McGregor, the leader of the corrupt deputies, died later that night, in another shootout. And Greg Baylor, the one who posed as a nurse and tried to kill me, was sentenced to death row and he’s gone now, too.”

His psychologist makes a note on the paper in front of her, but doesn’t say anything, so he continues.

“I… I feel better now, just letting that out.” He takes a new tissue and dries his nose. “I feel ready now. Ready to go back to work.”

She nods slowly, considering him. But she doesn’t even look towards her desk where the clearance form sits, frustrating him to no end. After five minutes of silence, he breaks.

“You can’t be serious.”

She raises an eyebrow. “Why wouldn’t I be?”

“I’ve been coming to these sessions for over a month, and I’m still not cleared to be in the field. I…” He musters up more tears and makes sure his voice wavers during his next words. “I just don’t know what you want? I’ve tried everything.”

“No, you haven’t,” she says plainly.

He blinks in surprise, sending some of the crocodile tears down his cheeks. “What?”

She crosses her legs. “You’re full of shit.”

“Excuse me?”

“You’re not being honest with me, and I don’t think you’re being honest with yourself either,” she says. “You’re a great actor. I can see how you’ve gotten clearances easily before. But that stops with me.”

Spencer stares at her. “I don’t understand.”

She moves her notebook to the side. “What happened in Texas isn’t the first time your life’s been in danger. Why do you think that is?”

“Wh—that’s part of my job,” he argues, fake crying long since forgotten.

“Not to the extent that you take it. I’ve read your file,” she says. “You take unnecessary risks with regularity.”

The tissues crumple in his hand as he clenches it. “I do not.”

“Let’s go back to the beginning.”

“The beginning of what?”

“Of your career.” Yet she doesn’t take out his file, or look at her notes. She speaks from memory. “2005. The BAU is assisting with a hostage situation. You go into the train, posing as someone who is there to remove a microchip from the unsub, but the first thing you do? You take off your bulletproof vest.”

“Okay, clearly you don’t understand what the situation was,” Spencer cuts in. “Ted Bryar was suffering from a psychotic break. He was somewhat unpredictable, and he told me to take off the vest.”

“And you just listened?”

“He—he had a gun, and was threatening both me and the other passengers with it!” he says. “What was I supposed to do, not listen?”

“Uh, yeah,” she replies. “You easily played into his delusions just a few minutes later to distract him. Why not do that to keep yourself safe?”

“I was twenty-four and was running on adrenaline,” he says defensively. “And it was my first time doing something like that. You can’t expect me to think of everything.”

“You’re right, I can’t,” she agrees. “So let’s jump forward a few years. How about the time you approached a teenager who was wielding an assault rifle with no protection, not even your own firearm?” she challenges.

“You mean Owen Savage? That was a unique situation,” he protests. “I knew I could talk him down.”

“No, you didn’t. You thought you had a good chance, but there’s no way to be one hundred percent sure of that. He was volatile, and on a killing spree,” she counters. “You didn’t know if you’d succeed--”

“I did!” He startles himself by unconsciously raising his voice, but he doesn’t apologize. “I did, because….”

“Because you related to him,” she fills in. “And that’s fine. Having empathy for an unsub doesn’t suggest something’s wrong in and of itself. But you still put yourself, and the rest of your team, in danger, didn’t you?”

He crosses his arms. “I got that lecture from Hotch when it happened, okay?”

“So then why’d you confront an unsub alone a few years later in Miami?” she asks. “You didn’t even tell anyone where you were going. You left your vest behind and just ran off.”

“I was having a head—wait, how do you even know that happened?” he questions. “It wasn’t in the report.”

“Well, first of all, you just confirmed it,” she points out, and he wants to kick himself. “Secondly, I can read between the lines.”

“I was having a headache,” he repeats. “I wasn’t thinking all that clearly. I just knew Julio’s life was in immediate danger, so I went to help him.”

“Uh-huh. More recently,” she says, brushing past his excuse, “You confronted your girlfriend’s stalker without your vest or gun.”

Spencer’s getting angry now. “I was trying to save Maeve. She asked me to leave them behind.”

“And you simply listened. Do you see the pattern I’m drawing here, Dr. Reid?” she asks. “These are just a few of the instances that stand out. Time and time again, you put yourself in unnecessary danger. So I’ll ask you again. Why do you think that is?”

Spencer looks over her—really looks over her, trying to understand what she’s getting at. “Are… are you suggesting that I’m suicidal?” he asks quietly.

She looks him straight in the eye. “You don’t act like someone who wants to be alive.”

It’s like she set off a bomb in his brain. Memories, and the feelings attached to them, emerge—Elle handcuffed to a seat, a teenager with a rifle, a blinding headache, Maeve and blood on the warehouse floor.

“Here’s what I see,” she says. “I see a man who’s been through so, so much. Your mother is mentally ill, your father left--”

His father is packing a suitcase. Spencer doesn’t know what he’s supposed to do or say, so he falls back on what he knows.

“Statistically, children who grow up in two-parent households attain three more years of higher education than children from single-parent households.”

It doesn’t help. “We’re not statistics, Spencer.”

“Your file says she’s staying at an institution, and with your father out of the picture, I can only assume you were the one who had her admitted--”

“Spencer, please don’t do this to me!” she cries as she’s escorted out of the house by Bennington Sanitarium’s transport staff.

“A few years into your work here at the FBI, you were kidnapped, tortured and drugged--”

He’s tired and cold and his whole body aches. Tobias—the real Tobias—looms over him with a syringe.

“Please. I don’t want it,” he pleads of his captor. “I don’t want it, please.”

The needle punctures his skin regardless.

“—you were held hostage by a cult leader--”

Emily sits across from him on the plane with a black eye. “What Cyrus did to me is not your fault.”

He pretends to agree.

“—you went through the death and reappearance of Agent Prentiss--”

He’s tried to make it clear to Jennifer that he wants to be left alone, but she won’t stop trying to talk about it with him, and he’s had enough.

“I came to your house for ten weeks in a row crying over losing a friend, and not once did you have the decency to tell me the truth.”

“—and your girlfriend was shot in front of you.”

“Who’s Thomas Merton? Who is he?” Diane demands, gun pressed against Maeve’s head.

“He’s the one thing you can never take from us,” Maeve replies, and Spencer’s heart drops. Thomas Merton is Maeve’s way of saying goodbye—she’s giving up.

“Wait!” he cries out, but it’s too late.

“This is just some of the more traumatic stuff. And then there’s what happened last month, which is why you’re here. You present a face of not being bothered by all of this, because that’s what you’ve been doing all your life, but I think you are bothered. You really, really are. And you don’t want to admit to anyone just how much it all has affected you. Maybe you don’t even want yourself to know.” Her expression and tone of voice are certain.

Spencer can’t take it anymore. The whirlwind of emotions and memories is overwhelming.

“The number of times you’ve almost died is staggering--”

“Yeah, and sometimes I wish I had!” He glares at her, breathing heavily. “Is that what you wanted to hear?”

But she doesn’t seem intimidated or alarmed at all. She leans back in her armchair. “Now we’re getting somewhere.”

The response only serves to make him angrier. She questioned him relentlessly and made him admit something he swore in the dark hours of sleepless nights that he’d never think again, never voice, let alone admit to anyone. She forced it out of him, forced. She made him say it against his will.

So why does he feel a sense of relief?

“I…” Tears well up in his eyes—real ones this time. “I’m done,” he chokes out.

He pushes himself off of the couch and out the door, slamming it shut behind him.

---

He storms in Hotch’s office and demands to see a different psychologist. But she was one step ahead of him—a few hours before the appointment, she had emailed Hotch and told him that under no circumstances should Spencer be allowed to get a clearance from someone else.

“And you’re going to believe her?” he cries.

“She’s doing her job, Reid.”

“You barely know her! You’ve known me for a decade!”

“Yes, I have,” Hotch agrees. “And you’ve told me yourself that you’ve fooled psychologists and therapists before. So if this one is saying you’re not ready yet, I’m inclined to believe her.”

Spencer just stares at him, but as usual, Hotch doesn’t blink.

“Unbelievable,” Spencer eventually mutters.

“Take the rest of the day off,” Hotch replies, glancing down at fists Spencer hadn’t realized he was clenching.

“Fine.”

Too agitated to stand in the elevator, he takes the stairs. As he stomps down them, he swears he’ll never go back to her office, even if it means never going into the field again.

A week passes, then two, and he hasn’t seen the psychologist since. But he doesn’t feel any better—he actually feels worse. It’s like her words broke a dam in his mind, in his gut, and feelings of unease and uncertainty won’t pass. It keeps him up at night. Her words echo in his head. “You don’t act like someone who wants to be alive.”

Spencer’s had yet another sleepless night and is struggling not to doze off at his desk despite the coffee he’s drinking. He stands up with the intention of splashing some water from the bathroom sink on his face, but his feet take him somewhere else.

He stares at the nameplate on the door. He swore he’d never go back, yet he feels compelled to knock.

It only takes her a few moments to answer. “Dr. Reid. Can I help you?” she asks.

“I…” He sighs. “Are you busy?”

“No. Come on in.” She steps to the side, opening the door wider to let him pass. He sits down on the couch.

She waits patiently. She doesn’t rush him. She lets him speak first.

He wrings his hands in his lap, staring down at them. “Something you said is bothering me.”

“What was it?”

“About… living,” he admits quietly. “I… I think you might have been right.”

When he gets the courage to glance up at her, he finds a soft smile on her face. “Would you like to talk about it?”

Spencer hadn’t realized he was expecting judgment and disdain until it didn’t happen. His shoulders slump down in relief. “Yeah,” he says. “Yeah, I think I would.”

---

“You’re still thinking about her, aren’t you?”

Spencer looks up from his paperwork, slightly out of it, to find Derek watching him. His coworker had, indeed, caught him thinking about her again. His psychologist. Well, former psychologist. After his second session back with her, she’d handed over a clearance form and a referral to a therapist outside the bureau to see long-term.

“And you better follow up with that,” she’d told him, the corner of her mouth turning up despite her serious tone of voice. “I’ll know if you don’t.”

He’d promised that he would, and had followed through. But despite the progress he was making with the new therapist, he was feeling a little disappointed that he didn’t get to see her anymore. He only saw her in passing, sometimes in the elevator or walking down the hallways of the building. They would exchange hellos, she would ask how he was doing, then give him a little wave as she left. Each time his heart would skip a beat, and he’d feel an urge to follow her to wherever she was going.

Yet he hadn’t quite realized why he seemed to be preoccupied with her until a dream he had a few weeks ago—a dream in which he found himself kissing her. Despite being alone in his bedroom, he’d woken up feeling embarrassed. He promised himself that he would put her out of his mind. Having a crush on his psychologist? It was ridiculous.

But then he saw her in the elevator a few days later and he couldn’t help but analyze her body language. It was open, and she twirled her hair around a finger while she looked at him to ask him how he was. A few other people entered the elevator on the next floor, but her attention remained on him. They were subtle signs, but signs that he recognized nonetheless—signs of attraction. And once he started seeing them, he couldn’t stop.

“I don’t know what you’re talking about,” Spencer tells Derek, picking back up the pen he hadn’t noticed he dropped.

“You can’t pull that on me, kid,” he replies. “It’s your psychologist. You can’t stop thinking about her, can you?”

Spencer sighs. “So what if I can’t?”

“So go ask her out already!” Derek says like it’s obvious.

“You don’t think that’s just a little inappropriate?”

“You’re not seeing her as a client anymore, are you?” he points out. “Go for it, kid. You’ll regret it if you don’t.”

Spencer takes the advice—as soon as Derek said it, he knew he was right. He would regret not taking a chance on her and the connection he felt. Sure, she’d helped him with therapy, but it went deeper than that. It feels like she knows him.

He leaves the bullpen ten minutes early that evening, hoping to catch her before she leaves for the day. On her doorstep, he feels just as nervous as he did on the day he admitted that she was right, but it’s a different kind of nervous. An excited nervous. He knocks on the door.

She’s surprised when she seems him. He watches as her pupils dilate, and it boosts his confidence. “Dr. Reid. Can I help you?”

“You can. I’d like to talk,” he says.

“Oh. Well, I guess I could do that,” she says. “I thought things were going well with the therapist I referred you to, though.”

He shakes his head. “No, I don’t mean I want an appointment.”

Her eyebrows come together in confusion. “Okay, then, what do you want?”

Spencer doesn’t hesitate. “I want to take you out to dinner.”

“I’m sorry, what?”

“I really like you, and I think we’re meant to be together,” he replies, voice softening a bit.

She pauses before answering. When she does, her voice is gentle. “Dr. Reid, sometimes a medical professional’s care can start to feel like affection over a period of time, but--”

“No one has ever listened to me like you do,” he interrupts.

“That’s my job,” she points out.

“I’ve seen therapists before, but none of them have been like you,” he counters. “You understand me.”

She sighs. “Well, I’m glad I was a good fit and was able to help you. But that doesn’t mean that I see you as anything more than a client.”

“You’re lying.”

“Excuse me?”

“You do feel something more for me,” he says firmly, but then backtracks a little. “Well, I know you’re attracted to me at least.”

She blinks and shakes her head slightly, take aback. “Dr. Reid, this is not appropriate--”

“Please call me Spencer,” he says, then jumps into his explanation. “See, when we’re attracted to someone, our bodies display involuntary signals, and I’ve seen you do some of them when you’re around me. Whenever we run into each other here, your body will turn a little towards me and you’ll play with your hair. Your attention is almost entirely focused on me. And, when you see me, your pupils dilate. They did it when you opened the door just a few minutes ago. Oh, and I’m attracted to you, by the way,” he adds as he realizes how one-sided he’s been. “I imagine my pupils probably dilate when I see you, too.”

Her mouth opens and closes a few times, like she wants to speak but doesn’t know what to say. She looks flustered, and he wonders if maybe he’s pushed it too far or said too much, but he can’t turn back now. “So, please, let me take you out,” he says quietly. “Just… just give it a chance.”

She bites her lip and looks at the ground. There’s a crease between her eyebrows, which he’s come to learn means she’s thinking. She speaks seriously when she looks back up. “If I go out with you, I can’t treat you anymore. If you ever need another evaluation or session, you’d have to get it from someone else.”

“I know,” he says. “I get along well with the therapist you referred me to, though. And having to get clearance from a different psychologist at the bureau is something I’m willing to give up in favor of getting to know you better.”

She considers him. “You’re serious about this,” she states.

It’s not a question, but he answers it anyways. “I am.”

She tilts her head to the side, eyes unfocusing as she ponders the situation. Eventually, she says, “Let me think about it.”

It’s not exactly the answer he was hoping for, but he’ll take it.

---

It’s only six PM, but Spencer is already exhausted. He unlocks his apartment door, fully intending to collapse onto his bed, but instead receives a pleasant surprise in the form of his girlfriend waiting for him on the couch. He can’t help but smile.

“Sweetie, what are you doing here?” he asks, then adds, “Not that I’m complaining.”

“Penelope told me it was a bit of a rough case,” she replies. “And I missed you.”

She holds out her arms and he takes the invitation, joining her on the couch and laying down between her legs, placing his head on her chest. “I missed you, too.”

Her next words are overly familiar. “Do you want to talk about it?”

“Hey, we agreed to no therapy,” he says. “Something about I can’t be your client anymore?”

She huffs. “This isn’t therapy. This is being a good partner.”

Spencer smiles into the fabric of her shirt, snuggling in closer. “I know, I’m just teasing you. I don’t need to talk about the case,” he says, finally answering her original question. “I feel fine now that I’m here with you.”

She lets out a pleased hum and starts running her fingers through his hair. “I ordered take-out for dinner, by the way.”

“Where from?”

“You know where.”

A wide grin spreads across his face. She must have ordered take-out from the restaurant he took her to on their first date. He lifts his head to look her in the eye. “Aren’t you glad you said yes to me all those months ago?”

“Oh, I suppose,” she says with pretend annoyance, rolling her eyes.

Then she kisses him.

Spencer’s never been so happy to be alive.

---------------

tell me what you thought here!

please note that i DO NOT ENDORSE asking out your therapist/former therapist. this is fanfiction. thank you.

general taglist: @calm-and-doctor​ , @spencerreid9​

#spencer reid x reader #spencer reid x you #spencer reid fanfic #spencer reid angst #criminal minds fanfic #criminal minds self insert #spencer reid #angst #my fic #i just cannot stop myself from writing about mental health issues and treatment can i

[dodo-begone]

When you Wish Upon a Star

Pairing: Karlnapity x Reader

Request: Can you maybe write some poly karlnapity x reader fluff with a bit of angst?

Word count: 1.7k

Warning: memory loss, angst, cursing, loss/relationship strain, depression (?)

A/n: haha memory issues go brrrrrr. Sorry if it's bad, i wanted angst but didn't know how-

Your world was slowly becoming a monochrome film. So meaningless and alien to what your life once was. All color and life had left and all that remained was an empty shell of what once was. Your boys were no longer sticking together, acting like the loving couple that they are. Or were. You couldn’t tell what the status of y’all relationship was. It felt like everything was falling apart. Nobody was communicating with each other and they weren’t coming home sometimes, going missing for days on end with no contact.

Now sometimes business could be rough and long, so that wasn’t an abnormal thing. No, the issue was how increasingly common this “uncommon” occurrence was. Anxiety boiled in your chest with every night that passed without your lovers. Cuddling with just one wasn’t the same as with them all. You just wished everything would return to its original state; all four of your being a giddy and affectionate couple. Back to that honeymoon stage.

Everything was becoming so different, much less vibrant. Like a depression had fallen onto y’alls happily-ever-after. You only had Sapnap for comfort, and vice versa. There was no Quackity to rely on or Karl to giggle all the worries all away. And it was painfully obvious how it was affecting everybody, yet nobody did anything to fix it.

Quackity never came to y’all for comfort. He was always at his damn casino or scheming a way to end Techno’s anarchy. Slowly he just stopped talking to y’all like he loved you. Now you and Sapnap were like a war council, but even then he wouldn’t listen to y’all advice. He’d just rant to y’all about how much he despised Techno and wanted to kill him, destroy the damn god complex the man had.

But Quackity was blind to himself; he was on a high horse and saw himself as a worthy opponent, somebody who could subdue such a savage beast. Every time Quackity came home bloody and on the brink of death, it killed you on the inside. Why wasn’t he coming to y’all about the issues? Why did he think he was so alone in his endeavor?

And you didn’t even want to mention Karl’s condition. He was acting so odd now. More forgetful and aloof. It was like he was a complete stranger now. Your interactions were slowly becoming shorter and shorter, less meaningful and shallow. From meaningful, deep and loving talk during cuddle sessions to a curt, cold and disconnected. Sapnap even tried to get information out of him, but he stayed closed and guarded like a clam. Then he’d also come home with some injuries, but there was never an explanation for why he got hurt. Quackity at least admitted to what happened, so you knew what possible dangers he was facing. But Karl? He was an absolute mystery now.

Karl wasn’t the type of person to be so mysterious. Well, cold and mysterious that is. Definitely a mystery though, but so charismatic that you could easily push that fact aside. He used to be so cute and “unsuspecting”. Now that’s the same case, but subtract the “cute and unsuspecting” part. His newfound apathy worried you to no end. It was like he was completely detached from reality.

It was such a silly thing, but you wished for the stars, asking them to help you. Please, you needed your boys back. You didn’t know how much longer you could keep living through this cycle.

Quackity’s hyper-independence and Karl’s now apathetic attitude was disheartening. And the effect it had on Sapnap was heartbreaking. He kept blaming himself for the relationship for falling apart. You reassured him that it wasn’t his fault, but you were hypocritical. Telling someone that it wasn’t their fault that a relationship was failing yet blaming oneself for the same thing? Honestly it wasn’t just one singular person’s fault; everyone was to blame. Nobody was communicating, which harmed the relationship you once thrived in.

So you begged the stars for guidance, for a chance at mending your dying relationship. There wasn’t a way you could live without your lovers.

You should’ve been more careful for what you wished for.

________________________________________________

Sapnap commed you one day, which wasn’t abnormal by any means. You two talked throughout the day multiple times. That was the only consistent thing that was still steady. A constant in your ever changing lives. But when you got on call with him, he sounded different, desperate and panicked. Your anxiety started to peak when he spoke, but the subject of the call made time stop. No way- there was no way.

You fucking chunked whatever the hell you were holding or doing out of your hands. It was way less important now. Honestly you can’t even remember what you were doing. All you knew was that you had to get to them and swiftly. No time could be wasted. Sapnap needed you right now. Your boys needed you. Everything was on the line. Well, for you it felt like that. Your boys were your everything; if one more “unfortunate” accident occurred to them, you wouldn’t know what to do with yourself. You were absolutely failing at protecting them. They protected and loved you for so long, and you wanted to protect them now.

Sapnap had begged, nearly demanding you come to Karl’s library that instant. Karl had apparently appeared there, and he wasn’t looking so good. He said he also contacted Quackity so he should be there too, but who knows if he’ll actually be there.

When the library came into sight, your anxiety both increased yet decreased, allowing joy to grow alongside it. The combination was odd, one that sounds like it shouldn’t be put together. Yet that’s exactly what you felt; bitterness and cold with some warmth hidden beneath the surface like a sun chasing the night way at dawn. You bolted into the building, frantically sweeping the immediate area for Sapnap and Karl. No sign of them. Your panic grew exponentially. Where were they? You yelled out, hoping to hear any sign of them.

Some commotion was made from your left. Walking closer to it, you caught sight of Sapnap’s shoes. He peaked around the corner to check the new visitor, and almost ran to you. The moment he stood, he hesitated. He took a step forward and stopped, looking between you and where you presumed Karl was. Ultimately he just took a few more steps toward you before turning back to Karl. When you arrived at Sapnap’s side, you dropped to your knees alongside him. There one of your worst fears faced you.

Karl lay on the ground, unconscious and bloody. He was so pale, it scared you. How long was he like this? What happened to him? Would he make it? You didn’t want to know the answer to it. Specifically, you didn’t want to know in case he wasn’t going to make it. Seeing him like this, it’d hurt too much to know the reality. You just wanted your old picture-perfect life back. Yes, it wasn’t absolutely perfect, but it was perfect for you and your boys.

So much time must’ve passed with you and Sapnap just watching Karl, tending to the wounds he had. It was fortunate that only his head showed clear signs of damage. Yet that was also a very unfortunate thing. There could be so much potential damage done and you’d never know if he was or wasn’t okay unless something happened to him.

You were so focused on Karl that you hadn’t realized that Quackity had joined y’all until he gently laid his hand on your shoulder, which shocked you out of your trance. Quackity’s eyes and face were red and puffy, tears trailed down his face and he was out of breath and panting. But he was here. You jumped up to hug him, pulling him down to the ground with you, Sapnap and Karl. Sapnap joined in the hug without a word. A sniffle left Sapnap, but you never mentioned it. This was a very stressful situation.

After a short period of pseudo peace, the exhaustion finally started to take ahold of y’all with the adrenaline slowly leaving your systems. Talking it out for a bit, after seeing how visibly tired everyone was, it was decided that y’all would watch over him in shifts. There was a small squabble for who’d be first; each of you wanted to be first to sate your guilt. It wasn’t long until a victor was declared; Quackity would take the first shift. Then Sapnap and finally you. The plan fucking pissed you off so much and there wasn’t a reason for it to. It just did, and you couldn’t pinpoint what it was. But you didn’t question it. If conflict could be avoided, then it’d be best to go along with the plan.

One moment you were blinking, trying to fight off sleep and the next Quackity was shaking you awake. You were so groggy and barely heard what he said. It must’ve been so obvious to Quackity that you just weren’t hearing jack shit, but he kept repeating- something. You actually had no clue if he was repeating something or just babbling. All you heard was noise and his mouth was moving. What could be so important that he was just fucking shaking you like a damn earthquake- oH SHIT!

Without a second thought, you jump to your feet and flop just a bit closer to Karl. You got up too quickly but you made it to your goal, kinda, so score! Scrambling to your feet, more accurately your knees, you view the situation.

All you could see was Karl sitting up and talking to Sapnap. That’s all that mattered though- he was alright. Karl was alive and thriving- okay that was debatable- but still! Your Karl was okay!

You’re on your feet in a flash once again, flinging yourself into Karl’s arms. The relief that washed over you was immense. Cleansing you of all your anxieties.

Yet he didn’t hug you back. Matter of fact, he did nothing at all. He froze up. Though it went unnoticed by you. Salty tears dripped down your face and splattered onto his jacket. Quackity joined in on your group hug, cry and babbling his apologies along the way.

Suddenly you and Quakity are shoved away, landing into Sapnap’s waiting arms. Saying you were shocked would be an understatement. Confused also couldn’t, yet they were the first words your frazzled mind could conjure.

“Who are you all?”

#tw: memory loss #tw: angst #c: karl #c: quackity #c: sapnap #dodo writing #mcyt x reader #dsmp x reader #x reader #dsmp!karl #dsmp!quackity #dsmp!sapnap #karlnapity x reader #sapnap x reader #karl jacobs x reader #quackity x reader #tw: cursing #tw: loss #tw: relationship strain #tw: depression

[kyojurouwu]

lee suho boyfriend headcanons.

listen to love so fine by cha eunwoo.

˗ˋˏ author’s note ˎˊ˗

i shall ignore kdrama suho and it’s all about webtoon suho. it’s finally time for me to (hopefully) do him some justice when tb writers decided to make him...like that. i tried to focus on different things from seojun. hope you will enjoy it. feel free to talk to me about any headcanons! 

suho is all about nagging you about your health and studying, making it seem like he is harsh and blunt, but his eyes always soften after. sometimes he pushes too hard and it can hurt, but he realizes his mistakes early on and learns from them. he doesn’t make them twice, ever. 

since he is used to being alone, he still gets little spooked by incoming messages and calls. it always makes his heart melt when you call him just to tell him you wanted to hear his voice and that you are bringing some snacks while he studies. 

at first, he is little unsure about texting, is he bothering you? does this sound too bland? should he add some emojis? but he never uses them, so will you be creeped out? he is the king of overthinking for no reason. 

looks up so many date ideas and creates folders on his pc for them. and he learned the hard way about asking people on the internet for advice. 

suho does the whole gentleman shebang - opening doors, pulling out chairs, walking on the side closer to cars,... people look at him with heart eyes wherever you two are because he is so prince-like, but he is focused on you and ignores it. 

but suho is not all prim and proper, he knows how to tease once he is comfortable (and to ever date someone he has to be). 

since webtoon suho is taking cooking classes, imagine this. suho teaching you how to cook, him being all focused and explaining in simple terms and looking out for you so you don’t cut yourself, while you get dazed by the visuals and his calming voice. before you know he is looking at you and asking if you are listening (even though he already knows the real answer). “once more than, but i won’t repeat it again.” he says and steps behind you showing you how to safely cut the onion. (he knows it’s sort of a low blow, but he can’t help himself)

asking suho for pads or tampons is such a funny thing. he has a poker face throughout but inside his mind, there are sirens and alarms blaring. he agrees right away and listens tentatively for what to buy and comes back with the crazy amount and pink cheeks because the ladies in the there cooed at him and gave him tips (more than he bargained for). he has a hard time meeting your eyes for a few minutes. 

suho does a lot of things with a poker face but internally screaming. he had a whole plan for meeting your parents, but then your parents just decided to show up without calling you and he was severely underprepared with your pink frilly apron on and his bangs up because they’ve gotten too long. you had to jump in and save him, but he still has nightmares about it. 

suho enjoys all domestic vibes he can. since he didn’t get to enjoy them while he was young, he wants to have a fill of it now. if you sleep over he likes to braid your hair and play with it while you are watching movies together, bonus points if it puts you to sleep he melts inside and just carries you to bed and looks at you for a while, pushing the little hairs out of your face. (definitely teases you for drooling on his pillow in the morning, because he can be cute AND savage, it’s a package deal.)

your favorite thing is when suho gets so serious talking about ghosts or aliens and horoscopes. he throws scientific studies and numbers like it’s nothing and moves so animatedly. you zone out halfway through but keep on smiling at him like an idiot because he is just such a dorky nerd. (just for the fun of it sometimes you send him his daily horoscope and when it comes true suho gets huffy lol.)

he is big on forehead kisses and hair kisses. arm over your shoulder and soft smooch into your hair. doesn’t get embarrassed by pda (but he has limits - holding hands, pecks, hugs,... but no make-out sessions outside.) he is a private kinda guy. 

somehow he always knows what you need and has it prepared. be it notebooks, pens, sweets. he definitely stocks up on sweets for you but he doesn’t let you overeat ever. his main priority is your health. 

even though i say he is a softie for his lover, he doesn’t bend rules for his lover often. the sweets things is one of them. but he still changes throughout the relationship, before he was a lot harder on himself, but thanks to his significant other he learns to stop being his own worst enemy, he starts enjoying being more spontaneous and let loose.  

suho doesn’t date without thinking about the future. he wouldn’t waste time with someone he couldn’t see having a future. not that i’m saying he is thinking about marriage but … yes i am. this ties to the domesticity, when he feels like these everyday things feel so good and fun he can’t help it but feel fuzzy inside. he wants to be the best for you, he would never let himself become like his father. 

also imagine reading sessions. sitting on a couch, your legs over his lap and his hand resting on your knee, while you sneak peeks over your own book. this often leads to cuddle sessions where you talk about the books you read and fall asleep in each other’s arms. being lazy and letting time fly. 

living with him would be a dream because he never skips on doing chores but also always makes sure you don’t forget them either. (sometimes you wish he won’t remember to tell you, but he does EVERYTIME without fail. but there are times where you just don’t have the time and he does your half of chores as well without telling you, after you come back and panic about chores, he just pats your head and tells you not to worry about it.) 

i feel like since he has quite a bit of time, he would maybe consider having a pet (if you ask he can’t say no honestly). i think he would start off tame, with maybe a hamster and he would read up all about taking care of it. and seeing him playing with the hamster is truly a highlight, he even lectures it if it bites him or you (when he thinks you can’t hear him that’s it.)

#true beauty #true beauty writings #lee suho #lee su ho #true beauty webtoon #cha eunwoo #lee suho reader insert #lee suho x reader #lee suho headcanon #true beauty headcanons #moon writes to the stars