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defdaily · 3 years

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‪[TRANSLATION] Arena Homme+ Magazine April 2021 Issue featuring JAY B

Translated by defdaily.

JAY B is free and starting again from scratch. That is what JAY B has in mind. GOT7’s leader announced that he would be leaving JYPE as the group stays together. JAY B is preparing to debut as a solo musician while planning to also release mixtapes and hold exhibitions as Def. We had a chat with JAY B, who has gained more freedom and strength, at the swimming pool about courage, depression, literature and aspirations.

Did you come here alone?

Yes. I took a taxi here. I was the type to go around freely even when I was in JYPE but catching the taxi to work this time around felt new.

All GOT7 members decided to leave JYP but stay together as a group. As a leader, you needed to make a decision, right?

Although we ended up leaving JYPE, we wanted to continue as GOT7. We all agreed to leave [JYPE] and try it between ourselves.The product made from me taking responsibility/taking charge was the single 'Encore’ that was released not too long ago. I was involved in the whole process with a new record label. I was happy to see a good response [to the single]. It was lacking in some areas but I was just very proud that we were able to show a different step. Since we showed through this single that “we did not disband”, what’s next is more important. When we left JYPE, Director Jung Wook mentioned "Your role as a leader starts now." I'm realizing it now.

”I wanted to learn everything about the process of releasing an album and how difficult it is. I wanted to start again from scratch.”

Your role as a leader actually starts now.

I used to find the role of a leader burdensome at times but now I feel a greater sense of responsibility. While supporting each person’s journey, I thought I needed to be the one to step up once we got back together. We also talk regularly in our group chat. Not long ago, Jackson went to China. When Mark went to the USA, I could see him off but when Jackson was leaving, we couldn’t be together because of a schedule. So I told him to have a safe flight, apologised for not being able to see him off and thanked him too. He replied saying he’ll take care and be back.

What motivated you to leave the large agency you've been working with for a long time?

The thought came to mind suddenly as we were promoting as GOT7. Am I taking all these benefits I get for granted? When a schedule is released I just do it, and when they ask me to confirm things I do, but what kind of long process has it gone through before it came to me? Who sends a request and how is it processed? Why am I only waiting until it reaches me and simply watching it unfold? I wanted to be directly involved in that process. I wanted to learn everything about the process of releasing an album and how difficult it is. I want to be humble and start from the bottom again.

Didn't you need the courage?

Of course I did. I was also afraid. My position has risen to all the way up here, but when it comes to my actual knowledge, I think I'm only down there. I was afraid that the difference would feel too big once I left the company. But I think I would have been more afraid if I stayed at JYPE. Since that difference would have grown bigger and bigger. My real self is here, so I should face it head-on a little faster. That's what I thought.

As JAY B or as Def. who releases mixtapes and holds exhibitions, you must have had the desire to do something new.

I want to do research and build it up step by step without haste. JAY B will show hip hop and RnB music that appeals to the general public and Def. will do activities that Def. wants to do. It could be mixtapes or exhibitions, or other different kinds of fictions. Def. is the nickname I used as a bboy before I became a trainee. It’s like air floating about freely. It could be house or soul or acoustic or even modern rock. In a way, you can say that Def. is close to my “main self” but since I debuted as JAY B, I’ll also show a devoted side of myself through JAY B. I want to be a person who can do both what he has to do and what he wants to do freely.

Listening to your mixtapes, and hearing that you like the styles of D’Angelo and Ray Charles, you seem to be attached to the Southern US rhythm and blues and soul music.

I do like them a lot. I like the entire hip-hop culture that originated from there. That culture also includes DJing, graffiti and even bboying. Since I started as a bboy, I would look up older videos to watch, study the culture and also look into what each dance move symbolizes, with my bboying crew and that's how I became fascinated. What captivated me the most was their obstinacy. I felt respect towards the conviction and obstinacy they carried with their culture.

Is that mood still incorporated in your music and dance?

Yes. For example, I don’t think choreography is dance. I think dancing is when music plays and you like the rhythm and start humming and bobbing your head and moving your body. I think dancing is a free act you do out of enjoyment.

What was the reason you joined an idol group after starting out as a bboy?

I gained an interest in music too, not just dancing. When I was young, I listened to D’Angelo’s music and wanted to become a singer like him. But I was rebellious when I first joined JYPE. Haha. I was even suspended for a month once as a trainee. I definitely said hello but they said I didn’t so they said "If you're going to be stubborn, then go home" and me with my young heart replied “Then I shall head home.” and left. Then I met up with my bboying crew after a long time, and in just a few months it turned into a different world. The crew members were above me and I was worried because I could feel myself far away by myself. Should I go back to bboying? Should I continue as a trainee? In the end, I wanted to do my very best in whatever I chose so I decided to focus on becoming a singer. Since I wanted to do music, it was a choice I made with no regrets.

You started as a dancer and ended up as a main vocalist. What was music to you back then?

It was a challenge. Trainees are divided into singing and dancing. I joined as a dancer but what I wanted to do was become a singer and not just do dance. But since I was put into the dancing division, I worked even harder with singing to break that prejudice. I often felt defeated. I still feel defeated with singing. Haha. But music is about endless research. Now it’s more about research than studying.

You grew up as an only child to your parents who did farming?

I was an ordinary kid. I enjoyed Haruki’s Colorless Tsukuru Tazaki and His Years of Pilgrimage and thought the “colourless” kid was just like me. I was a calm kid who helped his parents with their farm work. I don’t know if it’s because I don’t have any older siblings but they said I used to talk to myself a lot. My mother said there was a way she would know if I was home or not. If I was home, she would hear me talk to myself and be like “Oh really?” “Yes really” haha.

It’s extraordinary to read Haruki at that age.

There was an older friend that I knew and he was really cool. He looked really cool reading on the bus with his legs crossed. He said “Hey, Read a book and build up some knowledge.” As I was trying to be cool like him, I gained a favourite author and started reading more since I enjoyed it.

What kind of books do you like?

When I was a teenager I often read Kafka On The Shore. It felt like Kafka was just like me, and so while reading it, I even cried. The style of Murakami Radio was also interesting. The ending phrase “But I like that more…” was very witty. I’m collecting books from secondhand bookstores from authors who won the Young Author awards. I like Lee Jang-wook's short story Byeon Hee-bong. The main character knows the actor Byun Hee-bong, but the world doesn't know him. He would ask "Don't you know Byun Hee-bong from the movie The Host?" But no one knows. I like stories that don’t intend to be funny but they end up making me giggle.

What do you read these days?

I try to read poetry. I purchased and read the first volume that appeared on Moonji’s Poetry Collection, but it has too many Hanja characters. Haha. I started with Munhwak’s Poetry Collection. I have volumes 1 to 85. I also read poet Park Joon's collection of poems and poet Lee Eun-gyu's Affectionate Name. I even underlined and wrote things down.

Among the idols and musicians I’ve met, I think you are the most extensive reader.

We went on tours often and we would have a lot of time in my hotel room. When I went out I took pictures and when I stayed in my hotel room I read books. When I go on an overseas tour, I pack around 30 books in my suitcase. Then I bring back the books that left an impression on me, and those that didn’t sometimes I dispose of them there. These days, I look for independent publications too. I often look for independent publishing bookstores in Nakseongdae or Haebangchon. There are many books that contain honest stories that are not refined, and the power of those sentences is great.

How does reading influence your work?

The poetic expressions with poetic license help when writing lyrics. You read a new sentence and think “What is this expressing?” You receive inspiration from that image being expressed in a new way. I think of lyrics as poetry too. There are times I write how I feel honestly, but when I want to include a certain meaning I’d want to write the lyrics like poetry.

In your photo exhibition <ALONE> last year, you took pictures of objects and signs in the middle of the road.

Wouldn't it feel very lonely if you think about it from an object’s point of view? The camera captures just an instance but the object will stay there. I think each person has an insatiable loneliness. I like the artist Seonglib’s works, and I feel loneliness in his drawings. I don't know why I keep talking about loneliness, I guess I’m familiar with loneliness.

Seems like you take more pictures of objects and landscapes than people.

I don’t really like taking pictures of people. You can clearly see a person’s emotions in their eyes. I prefer hiding things rather than revealing them too much. I prefer objects, backgrounds, and natural objects rather than subjects that openly express 'It's me!'. Tranquil things, I like when you go past something and go “that’s how it was.” I try my best since my job requires being presented to people but that’s also how I am.

Who do you like as a movie director?

I like Woody Allen’s directing. My favourite is Match Point. It's a love story that goes beyond taboos, and it's electrifying. The face of the actor who secretly asks the reunited lover to give him her number remains in my memory for a long time. How could he direct such a real-looking, raw look in their eyes? When I was a theater and film major, I used to take directing classes rather than acting. If I were to direct a film, I would like to shoot an eccentric witty romantic comedy like Love Fiction directed by Jeon Gye-soo.

Are you self-conscious as an artist?

I’m interested in a variety of genres, and interact with crews often, but I think goofing off just because they are an artist is an arrogant attitude. Everyone is their own artist, no matter what they do, right? I'm not trying to be pretentious, I just think there's a difference in expression, and people who work in the office are also doing their own art. That’s why I’m a little shy about the title “artist.” Is there a need to be puffed up with pride because I’m an artist? I’m just a person.

While filming for “What's in my bag” and revealed your medications for depression and panic disorder. When did you face your depression?

I didn’t know I had depression. I thought I was being weak for a short while and let it pass. But on an occasion I got examined and found out I had depression. They asked how I lived by without going to the psychiatrist. I said I just thought I was the type to feel blue. Haha. I’m the type that doesn’t show [what is wrong] but they said I was in a state where I needed treatment. After going to counselling and taking medications, I’m much better now.

“I just wanted to talk about it. It may not show, but depression is both a common and dangerous illness.”

I think you’re cool for having the courage to talk about this.

I got diagnosed and looked at the people around me. There are friends who are ashamed of it and try to hide it, and there are friends who talk about it as if it’s insignificant. I just wanted to talk about it. It may not show, but it’s both a common and dangerous illness. A mental illness is an illness too. Among my fans, or those who read this interview, if there is someone who feels depressed, don’t be ashamed of it and I hope you receive treatment and overcome it. It’s not an embarrassing thing and it doesn’t need to be hidden. And I was filming content where I show what’s inside my bag; I can’t lie. I wish everyone would be healthy.

Are you bad at lying?

Yes. If I have to tell a lie, I think it’s just better to not say anything. Since I’m the type that’s honest and straightforward, I also don’t like beating around the bush.

Can you share a way one can take a step forward towards recovering from depression?

Look at the world in a broad view. Know that there are many places you haven’t been to yet and there are many things you haven’t felt yet. It's also good to take a walk and go off your usual route and take a path you've never been on. Small adventures can also be of great help. Just by leaving the house you’re already halfway there. I think there are more ways you can refresh yourself outside rather than inside. Also, I thought I was an honest person but after being diagnosed with depression, I thought I should be more honest with myself and more faithful to myself. At times like this, think of yourself before others.

What do you believe in?

I just believe in god. I don’t have a religion. I don’t know what kind of existence god is but I do believe that there is a god. When I’m thankful or am having a hard time, I pray. “Thank you.” “Please let me get through this wisely.”

What is the greatest motivation that moves you?

As long as I’m alive, I want to continue doing work that will leave a message. I believe that there is no next life. I think I should live this time diligently to the fullest. To have no regrets.

Translated by defdaily.

#jaebeom #def.#lim jaebeom #jay b #GOT7 jb #interviewtrans #jb trans #jb interview #defdaily:trans

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faunusrights · 2 years

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library of faults (RWBYDUB AU)

set in RWBYDUB AU, which is if rwby rock was abt bedroom producers and DJs and electronic music instead. blake uses they/them pronouns don't fuck it up.

"You know, I used to think my dad had the best record collection this side of Vale," Yang says as she watches Blake pull boxes of records out from their shelves, all packed so tightly together as to not jostle at all, "but damn, you put him to shame."

"Buying vinyls was cheaper, at the time," Blake admits, although they jab a thumb at one particularly old looking set, with their dusty jackets and faded print. "Or, uh, I stole them. From my parents, I mean. Don't know if they ever noticed, but..."

Each box is organised alphabetically and by genre; Blake's collection of jazz--ranging from bebop to more modern jazz-fusion--is extensive, but it's only superseded by dancehall favourites, more suited for a party crowd than easy listeners. Some of the records are so old and so loved that their sleeves are either crumbling into nothing or are missing entirely, replaced by plastic covers marked up in permanent ink with the name of the artist written in bold, the RPM underlined thrice over. If anything's clear, Blake's taken real good care of them all at best they could.

"Cheaper, huh?" Yang muses aloud, neatly stepping over the topic of their parents--an awkward thing to talk about at best and downright painful at worst. "Let me guess: you were such a hipster you spun vinyls before it was even cool, right?"

Blake rolls their eyes, flipping through their records with familiar ease. They're looking for a specific track to sample, and despite Yang's insistence they could just buy a digital version to work from, Blake is, and always will be, a big believer in not paying twice for something you already own. "It wasn't because I was a hipster, idiot, it was because you could buy like ten vinyls for fifty Lien when I was a teenager. I would go to antique stores or dig through the bargain buckets at charity stores and take as many as I could carry. Then I'd go wherever home was and play them on just the world's shittiest set of fourth-hand decks and chop up samples onto a laptop that got so hot I could cook eggs on it." They pause their search, and wrinkle up their nose. "That's not hyperbole, either."

Reaching the end of the current box, Blake accepts that what they're looking for isn't inside this particular one, closing the latches of the lid with a pair of solid thunks. Sure would help to remember the artist at the very least, but c'est la vie.

"At least you were making stuff as a kid," Yang points out, settling herself down next to Blake on the carpet. "I didn't take doing music seriously at all until Ruby started really pumping out tracks and she asked me to help out. I'm starting to regret all the years I wasted not practising my rudiments."

"That implies I made anything half-decent," Blake points out as they open crate number two: H--L. "Most songs I made back then were born at seven in the morning after DJing for the better part of twelve hours straight and still drunk on free beers I was too young for."

Yang just looks impressed, which isn't quite the message Blake was trying to impart. "Yeah, but that's what I would've rather been doing at... what, sixteen?"

"Fifteen, actually," Blake mumbles. "Travelling across Mistral playing for whatever illegal rave would have me."

Yang's eyebrows almost touch the brim of her snapback, and for a second she sort of looks Blake up and down like she can't quite believe that Blake--who wears button-ups and dark slacks and looks almost every bit like a pretentious jazz student when they've got their glasses on--would ever be doing something like underage drinking in a condemned warehouse in the south of Mistral as they blasted music through a DIY soundsystem until there were alleged noise complaints up to ten miles away, but, hey. The truth is weird sometimes.

"Gods," Yang says after a moment. "You are so cool. Like, don't get me wrong; that can't have been, like, good for you. But also--"

"It wasn't," Blake cuts in, and then they give Yang a wry smile. "But thanks for liking my mental illnesses anyway."

#my writing #rwbydub au #something real quick now that its on my mind oeudhioeudh #blake belladonna #yang xiao long #this isnt bb so dont tag it that oeudihoue

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peachhcs · 4 years

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It Was All Yellow

Pairing : Luke Patterson x Fem!OC

Summary : Blaire makes quick friends with Julie and Flynn during her first day at Los Feliz High School which took her by surprise. Although, that wasn’t her first surprising thing of the morning.

Word Count : 2.7K

My first Julie and the Phantoms Series?? My first series in general actually. (On Tumblr anyways, I’m on wattpad too!) Anyways, this is Luke with my own original character so I hope you guys enjoy it!

Yes I know it seems like Blaire isn’t gonna end up with Luke in the beginning but it’s all character development and Ryan’s for the plot later ;)

Series Masterlist

* * *

Chapter 1 : The New Girl

Blaire hated first impressions. They made her feel awkward and it was always a case of, i promise i’m not this awkward, i just hate first impressions. just wait until you get to know me more. Although, she has been saying that to people for the past 3 years everytime she moved, so it was kind of like second nature to her and it just kind of went over her head. Blaire hates goodbyes, so she tries not to get too close to anyone anymore because then it would just be a mess of saying goodbye and omg i promise i’ll text and call every night! They never did call.

This time it was different, though. Blaire walked into Los Feliz High School on her first day and she instantly spotted two girls, one with beautiful dark-colored skin with an incredible fashion sense and a second one with curls to die for. Blaire wished her flat, sort of wavy, damaged, aburn colored-hair did what that beautiful girl’s hair did. Something inside her just set a spark off and she just had to talk to them. Something was compelling her to be their friend, so Blaire did just that against her better judgement.

“Hi..” Blaire spoke up softly once she was close enough to the two friends. Their conversation had cut short at the sound of a new voice and they turned their heads towards Blaire. A smile found it’s way onto the curly-haired girl’s lips. Her smile was soft, it brought an immense calming feeling over Blaire’s persona.

“Hey, are you new here?” The curly-haired girl’s voice was soft and Blaire didn’t know what she was expecting but it definitely wasn’t the girl just knowing she was new at the school. Most people never even payed attention to new kids, they hardly ever knew that there were new kids in the first place. Blaire couldn’t help the smile finding it’s way onto her lips.

“Um, yeah. I am, how’d you know?” Blaire chuckles a little, holding her backpack straps tighter. The girl just shrugged a little, chuckling too.

“Just a hunch. I’m Julie. That’s Flynn over there.” She motioned over to the girl with pretty box-braids and that still, incredible, fashion sense. Flynn waved with a small smile.

“I’m Blaire, by the way. I love you fashion sense.” Blaire says looking at Flynn who smiles deeply, glancing down to see what outfit she had on today.

“Thank you! I’d be damned if I didn’t win best dressed senior year.” Flynn laughs glancing between Blaire and Julie who join in on her laughter.

“They would be wrong to not vote for you. Nobody can top Flynn’s style.” Julie says glancing over at Blaire who nods in agreement. There really wasn’t anyone who could match what Flynn was pulling off. Blaire was a little jealous herself, if she was being honest.

“It’s true. It really is incredible. You’ll have to give me some tips.” Blaire says glancing down at her own clothes. Just a simple jean jacket pulled over a peach t-shirt tucked into some denim shorts.

“Girl, you already look fab, but don’t worry, I’ll hit you up with the good people.” Flynn winked and Blaire laughed and nodded. She already loved these girls and she’s barely known them for 5 minutes. She didn’t know what it was, but there was just something about them that was making her want to be apart of their friend group and know more about them. These girls held their heads high, they were confident, strongly independent, Blaire could literally feel it. She really had never met people like these girls before.

“What class do you have first? Maybe if it’s around where we are we can all walk together?” Julie suggested and Blaire quickly dug her schedule from her pocket. It was a little ripped and tattered but it was still readable.

“Umm, AP Literature with Mrs. Shall.” Blaire read aloud and she heard Flynn let out what sounded like an impressed whistle.

“So you’re like, smart smart. Okay Blaire, I see you.” Flynn coos and Blaire’s face went a little red at that. She just shrugs, to her it wasn’t really a big deal. Her dad always wanted her to take all the advanced classes to help her transcript and all that stuff to do with getting into a good college.

“Not really. I bet there’s so many other people who are smarter than me. I’m actually more into music and stuff.” Blaire admits and this was the first time she’s opened up this much about herself on the first day. Usually, it’d take her a few days to crack because she put a wall up because she hated letting people in only to leave not long after. This was different, though. Much different.

“No way, us too. Julie’s actually in a band.” Flynn says and Blaire pushes her eyebrow up at Julie who smiles shyly. Blaire looks her over once more before it finally clicks in her head.

“Wait, you’re Julie and the Phantoms?” Blaire asks in disbelief. Ever since she saw that youtube video last year of the band performing, she’s been in love. They sang and sounded like angels and Julie had such an amazing stage presence.

“Guilty.” Julie chuckles and Blaire’s eyes widen even more. She squeals a little bit quickly shuts her mouth in embarrassment. Julie and Flynn both chuckle at her little squeal.

“Sorry, that was embarrassing. You guys are amazing I’ve seen the youtube video and listened to a few of the tracks you guys have recorded. It’s all amazing. You guys sound so great together.” Blaire gushes, her inner fan girl coming out. Julie smiles warmly at her words always loving the positive feedback.

“Thank you, that means a lot. We’ve been working really hard this past year to bring good stuff to the table. We’re excited.” Julie smiles and Blaire had to stop herself from squealing again.

“That’s awesome. I’ll definitely be looking forward to it. Plus, however you do those holograms, that’s literally incredible. It looks so real, too.” Blaire gushes again not being able to contain herself.

“Julie, I think she’s a keeper. She loves the band and she’s really nice.” Flynn says glancing over at Blaire who found herself blushing again at the hospitality. She’s never been treated this nicely by people she’s met on her first day. Blaire could say they were keepers too.

Before the three could do anything else, there was a sound of a bell that Blaire assumed it meant it was time to head to first period.

“Quick, run us down your schedule, we have to have classes with you at some point or at least B lunch.” Julie speaks up quickly and Blaire nods, pulling her schedule out again to read it down to the girls.

“AP Lit, Calculus II, French III, AP Government, Music, B lunch!, AP Biology, and free period.” Blaire reads aloud and Julie and Flynn jump around in excitement that she had B lunch with them.

“Awesome! I have Calc II in second period so I’ll see you then.” Julie says with a smile and she waved before walking off down the hallway to class.

“My class is in the direction of AP Lit so I’ll be glad to walk with you.” Flynn says holding out her arm for Blaire to link with. The auburn-haired girl smiled warmly as she linked arms with her new friend and started their way in the opposite direction Julie went.

“So, Miss Blaire, tell me about yourself. I want to know everything.” Flynn starts and Blaire chuckles. She pauses to try and think of something interesting but her life wasn’t really that interesting. Well..none of what she could say anyway..

“I like dogs?” Blaire says grimacing at how bland and boring that sounded.

“Dogs are cool. What kind of music are you into and any special talents with instruments?” Flynn continues not missing a beat and Blaire smiles, liking that Flynn wanted to get to know her. It was a nice change of pace.

“Well I can play the piano 100%. I’m kind of self-taught? I just picked it up one day when I was like 8 and it went from there. I’ve been trying to learn the guitar but I’m not the greatest at it and I guess I can sort of sing?” Blaire shrugs. Singing wasn’t really her main passion, she liked it, it was just kind of something she did on the side though. Her mom always told her she should have taken it further because according to her mom, she had a really nice signing voice.

“A girl with many talents. I like it. You should definitely stop by Julie’s sometime and we can see what you got up your sleeve.” Flynn says nudging her again and Blaire chuckles with a small nod.

“Alright, yeah. Definitely. What about you miss fashionista?” Blaire asks raising her eyebrow. She wanted to know more about Flynn, too considering how she held herself and her very outgoing personality.

“I’m not so much of a singer, but I do like DJing and I can play the trumpet.” Flynn says and Blaire nods impressively. This girl really could do it all and was it all.

“Djing, I like it. It suits you.” Blaire says and Flynn smiles as they slow down to a bunch of open classrooms students were walking in to.

“Alright, see you later Blaire. Stay fresh.” Flynn says before breaking off and heading into her own classroom. Blaire chuckles with a smile before turning into her own classroom.

The girl scans the room, trying to find a good seat when someone suddenly runs into her, almost sending her flying but they were quick to catch her.

“Oh shit, my bad. Are you okay?” Blaire breaks away from whoever’s grasp she was in to meet eyes with a blue eyed, crazy brown haired boy who had a very concerned look on his face.

“Oh yeah, I’m good. Sorry.” Blaire rushes out shaking her head and the boy raises his eyebrow.

“You’re sorry? I nearly knocked you over. Are you sure you’re okay?” He asks and Blaire tilts her head a little. Maybe it was something in this school’s water but everyone she’s met so far, not mentioning it’s only been 2 people, has been extremely nice. All the people from other schools across California have been stuck up and extremely arrogant.

“Yeah, I’m fine. Save yourself the sweat, crazy hair.” Blaire felt a little bold so she went for it, adding in the little nickname. She saw him smile a little before quickly taming his wild head of hair.

“That bad, huh?” He says and Blaire nods. She spotted an open seat in the middle row so she started to make a beeline for it. Middle row seats were the best after all, not too close to the teacher, and not too far away to get caught up in whatever drugs were being passed in the back row. Blaire found her seat and the same crazy haired boy followed after her, grabbing the seat beside hers.

“This seat taken?” He asks raising his eyebrow and Blaire chuckles and shakes her head.

“Be my guest.” Blaire says and the boy smiles. She gives him an amused smile back before pulling out her notebook for the class and a pencil.

“Oh, I’m Ryan by the way.” The boy spoke up again and Blaire glances at him with a smile.

“Blaire.” She responds and the boy returns her smile. Maybe this new change wouldn’t be so bad after all..she could rebuild herself, wash away everything anyone’s ever known about her and start new. I mean, she deserved it, right?

—

Blaire caught sight of Julie as soon as she entered the classroom and the girl waved her over. Blaire quickly hurried over to her and grabbed the seat next to Julie’s desk before anyone else could take it.

“So what do you think so far? Are you liking it?” Julie pushes her questions and Blaire laughs. She shrugged because she’s only had one period and met about 3 people so she couldn’t judge it yet.

“I’ll let you know around lunch, I’ve only met like 3 people so far.” Blaire laughs and Julie pushes up her eyebrow and a smirk falls on her lips.

“3? Who’s the lucky third?” Julie teases and Blaire just shakes her head with a chuckle.

“I met him last period. It’s name Ryan.” Blaire explains and Julie was already oohing and ahhing.

“Sounds like you two had a good interaction.” Julie says poking her friend’s cheek to indicate there was a blush on them. Blaire pushes her hand away and rolls her eyes.

“I don’t even know him so let’s not take it that far.” Blaire laughs and Julie only shrugs.

“Mark my words, Blaire. I know and see everything.” Julie says with a smirk. Blaire laughs and nods just to make Julie happy. The two girls turn in their seats when the teacher comes in, indicating it was time to start class. They exchange one last smile before pulling out their notes to start class.

Blaire didn’t notice it at first, she was too focused on copying the notes down in time before the teacher switched to the next slide because he was going a little too fast. Blaire had never really been a math wiz but she wasn’t bad at it. She did good and maintained a B+ to A average so she was satisfied and her dad was pretty satisfied with her scores too. He used to be really strict and really pounded into her head that she needed to do well, but ever since her mom passed away a few years ago, he’s laid off a little which Blaire was grateful for.

It was the pink pullover that caught Blaire’s eye that made her turn her head in Julie’s direction to see what was going on. Not really sure what she expecting when she looked, but it definitely wasn’t a boy with Troy Bolton hair, black jeans, vans, a pink pullover standing in front of Julie’s desk. Blaire blinked and then blinked again to make sure what she was seeing was real. She swears the boy wasn’t in the class and she didn’t know how the teacher didn’t see him standing right in front of Julie’s desk.

Blaire glanced at the teahcer, who still didn’t notice the boy standing right there. Was she like seeing things? But she couldn’t be seeing things if Julie was looking right at this kid and scribbling things down into her notebook like she was talking to him. Julie finally glanced over at Blaire for a quick second but she didn’t miss that confused glance and the direction she was looking in. Blaire saw Julie and the kid exchange a glance before looking back at her with wide eyes.

Julie quickly shot her arm up and Blaire suddenly became a little worried.

“Yes, Miss Molina?” The teahcer asks, stopping his lesson. Julie glances to Blaire, a look telling her to follow her lead.

“May Blaire and I use the bathroom? Girl problems.” Julie says and Blaire raised her eyebrow wondering how Julie had that much confidence to say that in front of the whole class. She heard the class snicker a little but the teacher clapped his hands, telling them to be quiet.

“Yes, you may.” The teacher says and Julie nods a thank you. She glances at Blaire and motions for her to follow her out. Blaire quickly packs her backpack up and follows Julie out of the room without another word. The boy in the pink pullover followed after them and yet, he still hasn’t been seen or mentioned by anyone in the classroom.

Julie pulled Blaire around the corner, stopping the two of them where they were out of earshot from any other classrooms. Blaire looks between Julie and the boy very confused and very worried because Julie looked surprised, not worried, but shocked.

“You can see him? Like right here, in front of your face?” Julie asks pointing over at the boy and Blaire glances at the boy who meets her eyes and slowly nods.

“Am I not supposed to be able to see him?..” Blaire trails off slightly. She was getting lost and Julie and the boy exchange another glance.

“What am I wearing?” The boy asks glancing down at his outfit and Blaire looks it over again too.

“A pink pullover with black jeans and checkered vans.” Blaire explains what she sees and Julie’s eyes widen. Blaire was still very confused as to what was happening and why Julie was so surprised she could see this cute boy in front of her.

“She can see me! She can see me! Do you think she can see Alex and Reggie too?” The boy exclaims jumping up and down now and Blaire glances at Julie for help. The girl lets out a sigh.

“Looks like we’ve got a alot of explaining to do..”

#julie and the phantoms #japt #japt reggie #japt alex #japt luke #luke patterson #luke patterson x oc #luke patterson fluff #luke patterson imagine #julie molina #flynn jatp #fluff #series #luke patterson x blaire sailor

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angelofthequeers · 4 years

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hi! So I have being thinking (or observing) lately, how people prefer lu//ka over ni//no (I mean lu//ka is shoved everywhere but thats not the point). Like lu//ka is praised for being chill, akumatized for someone else, being 'musical', protective, etc (honestly ni//no has more qualities unlike... Yeah). And it just bothers me so much idk. I mean pocs are always side eyed in favour of white characters that's not new but I guess the is-ni//no-actually-lu//ka (though a v fun crack idea) (1/n)

Not at all! I’ve also noticed how Nino is increasingly shoved to the side to make room for Luka, aka a generic “rebellious” white boy who looks like he never showers and his mum dresses him and whose interest in a younger girl is so creepy that he had to be retconned to be her age. And I don’t get it, because Nino has an actual fleshed-out personality considering his lack of screentime:

he’s impulsive and super protective of those he loves, to the point where he jumps into battle repeatedly against a literal supervillain who could crush him into a paper ball without effort if she really wanted to

but he can also be stubborn and drag his heels in, like in ‘Horrificator’ over the kiss scene that Alya didn’t include

he also got akumatised over his impulsiveness because he was so angry for his best friend

and yes, that’s different to Luka getting angry for Marinette in ‘Silencer’ because

he didn’t give a flying damn about the rest of the band, just the girl whose pants he wanted in

he didn’t actually??? Confront XY and Roth directly??? He just stood there trying to get Marinette to leave and then when she was threatened, he just stood there and stewed. Compare that to Nino, who actively went on the attack at Gabriel to try and fight for Adrien and damn the consequences

he’s got varied interests and personality outside of his DJing. He loves filmmaking, he’s goofy (think ‘Puppeteer 2’), he gets flustered easily, he parkours with Alya in their free time, he loves Just Dance...there’s so much more to him than just ‘plays an instrument and makes fun of a pretty girl for stuttering’

his self-worth issues! He didn’t think he was worthy of being a superhero, that he could defend Alya in an arm wrestle... I don’t know what Luka thinks of himself. I don’t even know if he thinks

he’s so selfless and loyal! Remember ‘Zombizou’, where he stayed behind so Alya wouldn’t be a zombie alone even though she wouldn’t have a clue once everything was fixed? Where he went in to bat for Adrien in ‘Bubbler’ even knowing he could be making an enemy out of a powerful and influential man? Where he stuck by Adrien in ‘Jackady’ and made sure he was safe? What has Luka done in comparison? And before people insist that he’s barely had any screentime, they also insist that Nino has no personality because he’s hardly ever on screen too and yet I can pick all of this about Nino, so they can’t have it both ways

And you’re bang-on with characters of colour being shoved aside for white ones. You see it in how Chloé replaces Alya as Marinette’s best friend despite being a literal horrific bully while Alya has been there for Marinette through thick and thin and is the literal reason why Marinette became Ladybug not just once but twice. You see it in the colourism (preferring lighter skin shades and features over darker ones) where Kagami has all but replaced Alya as a love interest for Marinette and sometimes even as her best friend because Alya is Lila’s new bestie. And that’s not to say that Kagaminette ship and friendship are bad! I love love LOVE them to bits and Kagami is one of my favourite characters of all time. But I hardly ever see Alyanette anymore in favour of Kagaminette, and even just Alya and Marinette best friend stuff because Kagami has essentially replaced Alya. And that’s also a common salt thing too; if it’s not Chloé replacing Alya, it’s Kagami.

Don’t get me wrong, Kagami is very much a POC. She’s faced a hell of a lot of undeserved backlash and awful treatment for being the “bitchy ice queen” and even fetishisation (don’t get me started please or I won’t shut up but some of the stuff I’ve seen has made me physically nauseous at the Asian fetishisation). But at the end of the day, I’ve personally seen her treated “better” than Alya...if by “better” you mean fetishised, which is a large part of why I don’t trust 90% of other Adrigaminette and Kagaminette fans. The way she’s treated compared to Alya looks more positive but it’s still fetishism and racism. She’s just not outright bashed as much as Alya because colourism and specifically anti-Black racism, as subconscious as it might sometimes be.

And that racism and colourism (which I most definitely had a point with I swear) is something that ties into the Luka and Nino thing, where people with lighter features are preferred over people with darker features. Luka has 1/100 the personality that Nino does and get he gets 100 times the love that Nino does. He also has people gushing over his appearance and how he’s a “hot bad boy” but I never see people loving Nino for his dark skin, for his brown eyes, for his prominent nose...for anything, really.

(Not to get personal but as a fellow Arab who also has brown eyes and a nose that’s not thin and dainty and is very obviously non-white and something I hated for years, that shit hurts)

Like, if someone doesn’t like Kagami, most of the time she’s just ignored as a character and the author/artist doesn’t touch on her. But if someone doesn’t like Alya? Instead of just having her be friends with other girls instead or just naturally drift apart from Marinette (which uh is still not cool), they go wild on her, turning her into an aggressive bitch who’s obsessed with her scoops and getting Adrien and Marinette together even at the cost of Marinette’s happiness. They take her flaws and wildly exaggerate them to justify hating her (don’t ask about the sheer vitriol I saw in the aftermath of ‘Feast’ over a mistake that Luka would just be coddled for). And while it’s not as prominent, because Alya is at the intersection of being a girl and a POC - especially a Black girl - and cops double the crap, I’ve also seen Nino demonised into a spineless idiot who just stands by and lets things happen instead of...you know, the boy who literally rushed a spider supervillain to save his girlfriend, knowing he could die very easily.

I just want some wholesome Adrino 😔 There’s all this “Luka would show Adrien how to rebel and just gets how he feels” and blah but like...Adrien already knows how to rebel. He just does it in little safe ways because he’s an abused kid, rather than doing what the salters think he should do and turning into a generic copy of Luka without a thought for the consequences that Gabriel can inflict on him because he’s still a kid under his parent’s “care”. And Nino already gets how Adrien feels! He’s Adrien’s best friend! He knows what to say to Adrien and how to be there for him without having to resort to strumming a guitar and telling Adrien how he feels like Luka does to Marinette.

Nino was Adrien’s first friend. Nino’s been there for Adrien through thick and thin, through having an arse of a parent who forces him to be flaky and unreliable with hangouts. Nino is physically affectionate with Adrien without throwing himself all over him like Chloé and Lila do. Nino’s actions as an akuma were to make his best friend happy. And yet people still seem to think that Luka both loves Adrien more and is a better choice for him. Why??? All Luka would do is sit there and play his guitar. Luka is his music and nothing else but Nino...Nino has so much more to him than just his DJing.

I feel like part of it is not wanting to break up DJWiFi, which...okay, valid. That’s one of my favourite ships of all time because they’re so darn happy and cute together and it makes me melt to see two POC happy together. I personally would turn to polyamory because I want massive cuddle piles. But if you don’t want that and you’re deadset on Lukadrien (😬) then just...don’t shove Nino to the side. Continue to include Nino as Adrien’s best friend and give him appropriate screentime and character growth outside of being a cardboard cutout friend. It’s not an either-or thing like so many people seem to think, and platonic friendships are just as important as romantic relationships.

#ask #aotq answers #miraculous ladybug #ml fandom salt #anti luka couffaine #anti lukanette #luka salt #cw racism #I had this drafted all day #trying to make sure the wording was right #anti lukadrien

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forasecondtherewedwon · 4 years

Note

Prompt 15?

Thanks for the prompt, dude!

15. Drunkenly confessing feelings

That Floaty Feeling

Pairing: Peter Parker x Michelle Jones (Spideychelle) Rating: T Word count: 3927

Summary:

How long has Michelle been the kind of girl who stays long after the party's over? About as long as Peter's been the kind of guy who passes out drunk on a pool float.

Michelle doesn’t go home because there’s nothing interesting to go home to. Griping parents, or maybe sleeping parents, and the inevitability of there being nothing good on TV, everything determinedly uncompelling enough to counter the secret pleasure she gets from sitting on the floor in the dark, too close to the screen with the volume on low. She’s fifteen. She’s ready for her simple pleasures to be a little less simple.

Anyway, it’s nice here now. She sits on the kitchen counter, both knees up and legs crossed at the ankles, to feel the air coming through the window screen. It’s not quite cool, but it’s a breeze and therefore better than the sticky stillness of the large house. Why does anyone like the weather in mid-August?

When Michelle slides reluctantly off the edge to stand on the tile floor, her movement rattles plastic bottles and tin cans, sloshes water from a forgotten ice tray―the tools of mixed drinks concocted by an amateur hand. Or dozens of them. Every teenage boy becomes a bartender at a house party, by his own estimation. That’s why she’s getting up. It may seem quiet enough from her perch in the kitchen, but drinks made too strong have their predictable effects and there are some people at this party that she cares about. So what if she’s never exactly mentioned it? Michelle figures the words will come in their own time, like the vomiting that will come to anyone who drank some of the combos she identifies based on which bottles are clustered together on the countertop and kitchen table.

She wanders.

Ned and Betty are on the couch in the living room, staring at each other shyly and sleepily like they forget that they were making out hard the last time Michelle passed through. Flash is sitting against a wall by his DJing stuff, rhythmically (and irritatingly) clunking the side of a plastic cup in and out. He attempts to draw her into an argument that she can barely decipher with his slurring and more changes in dynamic than he uses with music, so she ignores him. The person Michelle doesn’t find is Liz, who is presumably upstairs. She could be drunkenly reapplying and overexaggerating her makeup in the bathroom, going van Gogh-swirly on the eyes and Picasso-pointy on the lips; or weeping over an unrequited crush in her bedroom while her best friends hold her hands, petting her shoulders and the tops of her feet; or even banging some guy in the spare room just because they’re both young and alive and not immune to the rituals of summer’s-almost-over high school parties. Michelle has no problem with any of her decathlon captain’s theoretical choices. As long as the guy with Liz is not the same guy Michelle has not yet admitted she’s looking for. Even coming close to acknowledging her feelings makes her too warm, the back of her neck clammy, so she darts quietly through Liz’s parents’ house, re-entering and exiting the empty kitchen, pushing out the heavy back door.

Her sudden breathy snort is disbelief. She’s found him. Peter’s in the pool.

Specifically, he’s lying on an inflatable lounger, drifting on top of the water, which is great news because it looks like he’s asleep and if he wasn’t riding this lime-green floaty he probably would’ve drowned. He still could. The idiot might roll over and flop right into the deep end. The floaty could be defective and slowly deflate beneath him. Michelle doesn’t want to rescue Peter Parker, but she’s here and she could. Calling Ned to deal with his friend himself or just throwing empty cans at Peter until he wakes up don’t occur to her. Instead, Michelle glances around the backyard, dark but for the wavering shine from lights along the walls of the pool below the surface. Aha, pool shed. She approaches.

It’s really more of a pool gazebo, practically a pool guest house, as she swings the door open and tries to judge the size of the space in the dark. Luckily, she doesn’t need to venture far; the tool for the job at hand is cradled in a pair of hooks mounted to the wall just inside. Michelle emerges with the pole of a blue leaf skimmer gripped in her hand and returns to the pool’s edge. Where she hesitates.

Peter shifts in his sleep. She’s hardly seen him since school let out a month and a half ago. Is he taller? Unlikely. She doesn’t mean to be watching him, but when she realizes she is, she takes a swift look over her shoulder. Nobody staring out the back door, no curious faces in the windows. There’s honestly nothing to see. At most, someone might think she’s come out here to murder Peter with a leaf skimmer, which everyone would probably accept as so on-brand for the sarcastic asocial girl (who only really lights up when she overhears words like ‘unsolved,’ ‘conspiracy,’ and ‘cereal’―homophones are the source of many of her day-to-day disappointments) that her quietly simmering crush would remain unnoticed. When his chest rises and falls peacefully, Michelle starts to lean forward. PANIC. She plants the end of the skimmer in a gap between the large patio stones to prevent herself from toppling into the pool. This will not turn into a situation where she’s the one who needs to be saved. She sighs and accepts that she better reel this dork (crush? Who said crush?) in.

Balance regained and heart rate returning to normal, Michelle takes hold of the skimmer’s net and reaches across the water with the handle. It takes some adjusting, some extending and angling, but she gets the end of the pole in the floaty’s cupholder. She breathes deeply, always watching Peter’s face, as she tows him along the surface of the water, walking at the pool’s edge to the shallow end. A soft swish, the bright noises of bugs at night. Then, the inflatable chair is bumping the wide steps and Peter stirs. No, shhh, Michelle thinks, go back to sleep. But that’s ridiculous. He has to be awake for her to get him out of the pool. If he doesn’t get out of the pool, her rescue is incomplete. He has to get out, say an awkward thanks, and stroll into the house to find Ned. Or Liz. Oh, Michelle’s aware of the way Liz has been warming to Peter. She likes Liz a lot―at the same time, she wants to stand between the two of them like the Great Wall of China. That’s a normal thing to feel, right?

Peter seems groggy from sleep, but Michelle’s voice shoots up in alarm as he begins to stretch. She won’t have him ruin her rescue by dunking himself at the last minute. The grin he gives at her warning makes her realize it’s not sleep grogginess. This guy is drunk. Incredibly, a nap on a pool floaty has done nothing to speed his sobriety.

“Michelle,” he tells her, “get off the roof.”

“I’m not on the roof, you’re in the pool.”

He gives her a look like he doubts this very much and tilts to the side, trying to check out his surroundings. It sends a surge of worry through her, panic like when she almost fell in.

“Just… trust me. You’re in the pool.”

“Oh. You coming in? D’you wanna share this…”

Either he can’t recall the word ‘chair’ or he’s having trouble identifying the thing he’s lying on as a chair. She kinda can’t blame him. It’s a weird place to wake up.

“No, I’m trying to get you out before you drown like a moron.”

“Aquaman can’t drown,” Peter protests.

Michelle groans.

“I didn’t say Aquaman, I said a moron.”

“S’not my favourite either, but I wouldn’ call him a moron,” he mumbles disgruntledly.

“Would you stop being so…!” She takes a breath. He’s smiling up at her again. “Come on, I’ll help you out.”

She tosses the skimmer away onto the lawn, steps onto the pool’s dry top step and crouches, extending her hands towards him.

“I’ll help you out,” Peter counters.

It’s weirdly suggestive, the way he says it. Like a drunken doofus who stranded himself on a pool floaty has any possible power of seduction. Like he’d want to use it on her if he did. Michelle’s pretty sure the Liz thing is mutual.

“Where’s my Ned? M’Ned. Ned. Ned?” he asks as they clasp hands (his are smooth and cool) and Peter eyes the wet stairs that he’s going to have to navigate since he seems to lack the necessary coordination to pull himself out onto the stones. If he picked one step higher, he wouldn’t dip the legs of his shorts in the water, but of course he does. Thankfully, he appears to find his footing (where are his shoes?), still sitting on the edge of the floaty as it squeals and tries to tip.

“Inside. Possibly defiling a couch with Betty.”

“S’not a bad idea,” Peter jokes with a sloppy grin as Michelle tugs him forward.

He slips on the wet step and she slips on too much momentum, but he’s somehow competent enough to steady her, their hands now squeezing each other. He’s close. His breath is warm and beery. What fifteen-year-old goes to a party and gets this drunk on beer? Gross. Michelle only holds his hands long enough to make sure he gets up the steps without falling back in. When she tries to let him go, Peter holds on.

“S’slippy,” he points out. He skates one foot out along the stones and leaves a slick trail of pool water.

“Fine. But only to the door.”

He beams to be allowed to hold her hand. She assumes he’s really afraid of slipping and cracking his head open. That’s… not unreasonable.

“Not with Betty,” he blurts right after making her pause. There’s a pine tree in the yard and Peter’s pulling a needle out of the soft arch of his foot.

“What?”

Michelle’s losing patience for this whole thing. It’s too much! He needs too much! She should’ve just gotten Ned. She can’t care for Peter like this, like a babysitter. Why didn’t she go home? She didn’t need this night of holding his hand and feeling his wet shorts touch her leg when he staggered too close.

“I don’ want Betty on the couch.”

“I hope you don’t want Betty at all. Because she’s into your best friend,” Michelle clarifies with a nervous swallow.

“Right.”

What the hell does he mean? Is she supposed to know?

“They looked pretty tame when I left,” she volunteers.

“Sometimes people do,” Peter replies with the cryptic wisdom reserved for the inebriated, and young children having a Wednesday Addams-type phase.

“Yeah, well.”

It doesn’t mean anything, it’s just a couple blunt words meant to shut him up, neutralize any thoughtful implications of what he says. Michelle finally shakes off his hand and gives his back a gentle shove towards the door. She isn’t anticipating Peter bracing his arms against the frame, making her collide with his back because she expected him to keep moving. It’s really bad that she doesn’t back up immediately. Really bad. So bad. She can feel his heart beating through his back and her front, his science t-shirt and her striped one. What if she raised her hands to touch his back again, softer? What if she lowered her head until her forehead found the nape of his neck? Michelle’s lips part. In a few seconds, Peter opens the door and moves on like nothing happened.

Not totally though, because while she’s preoccupied with closing the door after them, he grabs her hand again. Michelle jolts, then notices his fingers are more than the welcoming cool she felt outside. They’re chilled. That stupid inflatable wasn’t a lot to have between his body and the water of the pool as the temperature finally started to drop after midnight.

“Michelle,” he says seriously, fingers wriggling as he holds her hand like he’s trying to figure out a way for his not to slide off. “I really―”

“You’re cold,” she says. “You’re too wobbly for me to have any confidence in letting you warm up by moving around. Maybe you should borrow a shower. They have one in the ground floor bathroom, isn’t that weird? I saw it before.”

Yes, Michelle’s rambling. Shower. Peter.

“You’re really great. I think you’re so… the best. Smart pretty.”

“Oh,” she replies. He probably means ‘pretty smart.’

Suddenly, his sort of dreamy expression changes.

“Might throw up before I shower.”

“Good call,” Michelle says, racing ahead of Peter’s stumbling steps to fling open the bathroom door. She closes it much more carefully to offer privacy while he pukes.

With a heavy exhalation, she sinks to the floor, back sliding down the wood door, bevelled detailing abusing her spine. She hears a flush, a splash of water, and maybe the rustle of clothing. Thinking about Peter dropping his clothes to the tiles makes her antsy and wary of being caught here. Not that she’s actually doing anything more than sitting alone on the ground a couple hours past the party’s peak. Idly, Michelle hopes he did get totally naked. Just because, if he entered the shower with some item of clothing still on, what was the point of so carefully extracting him from the pool? She’s not worried, she just doesn’t want him to cancel out her considerable efforts. Her moderate efforts. It’s basically been no trouble. Otherwise, she wouldn’t have bothered. She thinks about Liz upstairs. Yep, why help Peter? There’s nothing in it for Michelle.

The water shuts off after a couple minutes. Peter makes a sound like he’s about to fall and Michelle bolts to her feet, hand hovering over the doorknob, before she hears him catch himself and sigh in relief. She lowers herself to the floor again, embarrassed by her reaction. He doesn’t need her here. He’ll probably be surprised if she’s hanging around when he comes out.

“Michelle?” Peter asks through the door. “You there?”

Her eyes widen and her body tenses. Should she jump up and run away? Hightail it to the living room and pretend she’s been there with Ned and Betty while he showered? If they’ve started making out again, they won’t even notice that she hasn’t been there the whole time. Peter taps feebly at the door. Or maybe he’s resting his head against it. She stays put.

“Yeah. What?”

“Thanks for helping me.”

He sounds about as pathetic as a Victorian orphan.

“I had nothing better to do,” Michelle assures him, tracing the grout between tiles with her fingertip.

“You coulda jus’ watched me. I know you do that. Watch me. Sometimes. I think you do.”

Shit. She should’ve run. Her mouth opens and a squeaky groan comes out as she tries to compose a response.

“I didn’t know you were such a narcissist. Trust me, I have more important things to do with my time,” she says, still outlining tiles like they’re tiny tracks and her fingers are trains she could board to escape this conversation. “You must’ve imagined it.”

He opens the door so quietly―Liz’s parents must take care of their hinges―that Michelle flops backwards as Peter goes to step out and tumbles against his shins.

“I really like you,” he says as she cranes to stare up at him. His wet hair drips on her cheek.

Michelle just shakes her head and starts to scramble to her feet. Peter attempts to help her up by grabbing beneath her arms, nearly groping her boob in the process, though it’s clearly not intentional because when she turns, standing, she can tell he’s still not his soberest self.

“Wanna forget I said that,” Peter says.

She scrutinizes his flushed face and the slightly dazed look in his eyes. Was that a question? Is he requesting that she forget, for the sake of his own self-consciousness? Or is it a statement? He regrets saying it so much that he’s expressing, to her face, that he wishes he hadn’t. Her gaze drops to his t-shirt. The neck’s getting wet as water continues to drain down from his hair. Has this boy ever heard of a towel? Michelle should not have to look at him with his pink cheeks and his normally gelled hair loosened into hanging, wet curls along his forehead.

“You helped me,” he says, and wraps her in a hug.

Which she quickly wriggles out of. This is not the relationship, not the friendship, they have. He’s drunk and he likes Liz―mature, responsible, gorgeous Liz―not her.

“You smell like beer,” Michelle informs him, so he won’t be offended by the way she rejected physical contact. Or maybe so he will be offended. She doesn’t trust this. He’d probably be all cozy and grateful with any idiot who happened to haul him out of that pool. At least he doesn’t smell like barf.

“I didn’ even like it.”

His expression is scrunched and adorable in, like, a toddler kind of way. Whatever, he’s dumb and she doesn’t have a crush on him.

“You just, what, drank every bottle you found to make sure?”

Peter sighs dramatically and tilts sideways, clearly intending to lean against the bathroom’s doorframe and clearly going to miss it because his spatial awareness is not the greatest right now. Michelle grabs his arms.

“Coffee,” she blurts. “Do you like coffee?”

“No,” Peter whines. “I jus’ like you.”

“You keep saying that,” Michelle mutters to herself, glancing away like Ned will appear and reclaim his best friend if she looks around for him enough times. She takes Peter’s hand again (he smiles like he’s happy to give it) and leads him to the kitchen.

“What are we doing?”

“Um,” she says, pulling open cupboards, “making you coffee.”

“Ok.”

“Ok? A minute ago you said you don’t like it. I was kinda expecting a tantrum.”

“S’gross,” he states as he rests against the counter next to her. “But I like being with you. I like you.”

Michelle laughs weakly.

“Sure you do,” she says.

“Yeah and this is gonna take forever.”

“Why would it take forever?” she asks, digging into a drawer.

“Liz’s parents don’ drink coffee.”

She straightens up and stares at Peter, who slides closer, grinning innocently.

“How do you know that?”

He frowns in hazy thought.

“She was drinking it one time and said her parents wouldnapprove. Wouldnapprove,” he repeats, struggling to separate his words. He gives up. “They wouldn’ like it.”

“Right. So. There’s no coffee in this house?”

“Don’ think so.”

“If you wanted to spend time with me, you wouldn’t have told me that,” Michelle points out. “Now I don’t have to search this kitchen.”

“Why were you?”

“For coffee, dumbass.”

“Why?”

“To… clear your head. Make you stop acting weird.” She blushes and turns away from him. What’s her next move? Drag him to Ned and finally leave this house and its lingering party guests?

“Because I was in the pool,” Peter says gravely.

Michelle turns back.

“No, not because you were in the pool. Because of… because you said… Other reasons.”

Annoyingly, he just smiles at her.

“I’m nice,” he tells her.

She snorts.

“Oh yeah?”

“Yeah, I’m nice. Lemme be nice to you.”

“Well, it was already super nice listening to you vomit, so I think I’m good. I’ll go find Ned and he can take it from here.”

She’s two steps away when Peter speaks.

“I thought I liked Liz.” Michelle flinches. “She’s really great, but I feel different about you.”

She wants to flip him off or tell him to shut up―simple methods she’s used to push him away at school, but between the vulnerability in his voice and the fact that he’s still tipsy, she’s scared that being too harsh could make him burst into tears.

“You’re just… you think I saved you. You’ve got some kind of drunk hero-worship thing going on,” she diagnoses, not turning around.

“I thought I would be able to talk to you,” he says quietly. “I saw you over and over all night and I was never really, never ready,” he corrects, “to talk to you, so I kept getting another beer.”

“You’re an idiot,” she says gently.

“Don’ remember why I went in the pool.”

“You’re just dramatic like that.”

“Maybe,” Peter sighs. “Am I still drunk?”

“Yeah, dude.”

“I’ve been drunk forever.”

“That’s why I was getting you coffee,” Michelle reminds him, turning back.

“Let’s go.”

“Where?”

“Coffee. I should… tell Ned.”

This plan is vague and it’s possible that he’ll abandon it, but she can’t abandon him because Peter pushes off the counter and grabs her hand as he barrels out of the kitchen. The plan holds long enough for them to find Ned (and Betty) asleep on the living room couch. Michelle assess them and decides they look minorly dishevelled―enough that they probably made out again, but not enough that anything more than that went down. Betty’s hairband is askew where she laid her head on Ned’s chest.

“He’s asleep,” Peter says, too loud. Michelle shushes him and pulls him away. “Now what?” he asks in a noisy whisper.

“Well, you should probably stay with―”

“You. I’ll be better after coffee,” he promises. “Way better.”

“Better at what? At remembering you don’t actually like me?”

“I like you.”

“You’re confused.”

“Great comeback,” she says flatly.

“Let’s see. After coffee. I’ll still like you.”

“Don’t worry about it, Parker,” Michelle says because she’s scared of his insistence. He’s making it harder and harder to brush off as some stupid thing he said to her when he was drunk with every reiteration.

“If we don’ get coffee, you’ll never know if you were right. Don’ you wanna know if you were right?” he baits.

She glares at him. He beams.

“Look,” Peter continues, yanking something from his pocket, “I didn’ drop my wallet in the pool!”

“Congratulations.”

“I can pay for coffee!”

“You’re not paying,” she says with a firmness that startles them both. “Because, because you’re under the influence and shouldn’t be making financial decisions.”

“A coffee decision isn’ a financial decision,” he argues.

“Of course it is. So, I’ll pay.”

“We’re going? Yes!”

“Shhh!”

Michelle rolls her eyes and frees her hand from Peter’s to let him follow her to the front door on his own two feet. There are his shoes, at last, kicked off to the side. She waits while he stomps his feet into them, then blinks in the darkness as they step out into the early morning. It has to be coming up on four o’clock.

“There’s probably a twenty-four-hour place nearby,” she says, nervous as they set out.

“’K.”

“You’re too trusting. What if I was kidnapping you?”

“I could get away,” Peter brags. “You don’ even have that thing.”

“What thing?”

He mimes for her.

“The skimmer,” she interprets. “Right. Every would-be kidnapper’s weapon of choice.”

Peter’s holding her hand again by the time they reach the end of the street. Michelle doesn’t know how it happened.

“Why’d you help me?” he asks while she looks left and right, considering the likeliest direction for the cup of coffee that’ll assist Peter in his return to sobriety so they can clear this whole thing up. Back to the reality of her one-sided crush. “I forget.”

She makes her decision.

“Because,” she tells him. “There was nothing good on TV.”

more clichéd tropes and prompts

#my writing #spideychelle #spideychelle fic #spideychelle fanfiction #peter parker #peter x mj #peter x michelle #peter parker x michelle jones #michelle jones

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marinetteplztakeabreak · 4 years

Text

snake!Nino AU

this is a bullet fic rewrite of Desperada featuring my love for Nino (I’m not anti-Luka by the way I just like the potential softness of this AU, I have like.... I have like... twenty-fi... 25,913 different takes on Desperada and this is just my newest one)

—Nino is on board the Liberty with everyone else just chilling and vibing with Luka because he loves music too; he plays the violin because I said so and he’s just in the background tuning it and looking low-key sad while the whole “Luka flirts with Marinette and teaches her guitar” thing happens.

—When Kagami and Adrien show up, Nino is just absolutely ecstatic that Adrien was finally able to get out of the house, and he LIGHTS UP and is like “omg!!! You’re here!!! Is this Kagami!!! It’s so nice to finally meet you, you’re my sibling now, no take-backs.”

—And Alya is like “hey Adrien can I talk to you for a second,” so he stays there while Nino just drags Kagami off to show her his instrument and talk to her and she’s like “omg this guy is A LOT” but you can tell she’s happy that someone is paying attention to her

—Meanwhile, Alya is just trying so hard to get Adrien to talk to Marinette, and she’s just like “hmmm is someone a little jealous of Luka?” And Adrien is just like “no lol I’m fine with just playing piano, different people have different skills, I’m happy for him that he knows how to play the guitar.” And Alya is like “facepalms”

—Meanwhile, Marinette is still just panicking as she frantically glances back and forth between Luka and Adrien and Kagami and is just internally keysmashing

—so at this point, we’re only like 2 minutes into the episode, it all happened fast and Marinette hasn’t had time to react

—All of a sudden they’re interrupted by the sound of arguing above deck

—Which is, of course, Jagged Stone begging Anarka to play guitar for him

—She refuses, and Jagged sees Marinette and asks her if she knows any guitar players

—Marinette’s still just panicking and Nino is like “oh no my girl is having an anxiety” and so he just kinda gently steps in like “hey Jagged, I don’t play guitar but I can DJ and help mix music together if that helps”

—and Jagged’s like “you know what, what the heck, sure, I’ll take it, you can be my new partner” and Marinette is still just trying to cool down and stop panicking

—When, whoops, Desperada shows up out of nowhere, and is like “Jagged Stone!!! I can’t believe you’re trying to replace me!!” And she tries to zap Nino into dust, but Kagami, being an idiot who bonded with him already, just leaps in front of him and gets turned to dust instead.

—Cue the chaos where she tries to zap everyone who has an instrument, including Luka and Anarka, while also specifically going after Nino

—and Nino being a dumb self-sacrificial idiot sees Desperada almost get Alya (who’s trying to get footage of the Akuma battle of course) so Nino just starts playing his violin to get Desperada’s attention

—she almost gets him, but Adrien tackles Nino to the ground at the last second (the violin breaks and it’s very sad) and then helps him up and pulls him behind a corner, Alya sees them and starts sneaking around and shows up beside them a few seconds later

—Ladybug, who just transformed, spots them and hurries over, helping them make their way safely to the sewers, but Alya’s an idiot and is like “gotta stay and film” so it ends up being just Nino and Adrien down there

—Ladybug calls up her Lucky Charm and it goes like canon, she realizes she needs extra help so she runs over to Fu and picks up the snake miraculous (though she does seriously consider the turtle for a second because a shield would be nice, she’s not sure if 5 minutes would be enough time to figure out how to defeat Desperada, and then they’d be out of luck

—meanwhile, Adrien is like “hey Nino you should hide in here I’ll totally hide for real too” and Nino’s like “are you stupid I’m not going to hide in a locker, Alya’s in danger up there, they got Kagami who’s my sister now, I don’t make the rules”

—but the thing is, Ladybug just went get a miraculous for backup, and Nino is also trying to avoid suspicion and be like “Hey Adrien, you should hide down here though, it’d be a good idea if you were out of the way and safe and I was alone with Ladybug for a brief amount of time for NO REASON don’t ask questions”

—so they’re still just having a very dodgy argument in the locker room when Ladybug shows up and is like “screw it I’m not gonna come up with an excuse. Adrien, here’s the snake miraculous, congratulations”

—And Nino is like “aaaaAaaAaA oh my gosh!!! Adrien, you’re a superhero now!!! This is so cool!!!” And just fanboys his little heart out and Adrien is like “haha yay” but like it’s hard to be panicking about this when Nino is so happy

—Plagg doesn’t even get a chance to argue because everyone is in the room at the same time; Adrien just transforms into Aspik and they start going

—and things go similar to canon BUT Nino keeps being dumb and trying to sacrifice himself for Adrien because he’s stupid like that and I love him, and also, Nino’s presence gives Marinette something else to think about so she’s slightly less flustered because Nino is at least a normal person, (also it stops Adrien from flirting with Ladybug as much because not only is he like “Ladybug stop dying” he’s also like “Nino ST OP” because Nino just gets disintegrated every time he takes his eyes off of him

—so because Marinette is panicking less she’s also spending a lot more time being like “where the H E C K is my dumb kitty cat, where I S he?”

—So Adrien’s still suffering (TM) but he realizes a lot sooner that this isn’t working and he needs to just detransform to talk to Plagg because he’s having anxiety because so many things are happening all at once (oh also Alya shows up in a couple of loops and gets vaporized a couple of times too)

—So anyways he finally restarts the loop and is like “I’m done, I can’t do this, being a hero is Too Much Stress for me I guess,”

—and of course, he hands the miraculous off to Nino, because 1) it’s Nino 2) Adrien feels like Nino’s been doing a better job of paying attention to Desperada and protecting them during time loops than Adrien has (which isn’t necessarily true but Adrien is a self-deprecating idiot) 3) Nino is the only other person there

—So Nino is like trying to hug Adrien and tell him it’s going to be okay because Adrien is crying actual tears but Adrien’s like “nope gotta go be elsewhere whoops”

—Marinette’s like “hey Nino I guess you can be the snake, your FIRST MIRACULOUS EVER WINK WINK and Nino’s like HAHA YEP NEVER SEEN ONE OF THESE BEFORE IN MY LIFE

—Adrien runs off and apologizes to Plagg and Chat Noir shows up a moment later

—Nino notices how much less flustered Ladybug is by Chat Noir than by Adrien and is like "oh worm?" and probably brings it up with Adrien at the end of the episode

—they all fight side by side

—Nino realizes that he needs to provide a distraction so Ladybug and Chat Noir can take Desperada by surprise, so he uses his DJing skills to start blasting music over the liberty’s speakers

—They win,

—Ladybug is like “I couldn’t have done it without you Chat Noir I love you I mean haha nothing”

—Chat Noir fanboys over snake!Nino and is like “you’re my hero omg”

—epic three-sided “pound it”

—Marinette uses the miracle cure to put everything back to norma

—Adrien shows up soon and Nino just RUSHES over to him to say that he definitely did amazing and just showers him with love and support and Adrien just showers compliments back at Nino and asks for his autograph

—Kagami shows up again a few minutes later and is super awkwardly like “what do I do now” and Nino is like “come over here you’re one of the bros” and they just chill and have fun and Nino just starts showing them his SoundCloud

—Marinette still feels guilty for panicking earlier in the morning and is like “I gotta fix this” so she talks to Jagged and is like “btw Luka is a very good guitar player, you should talk to him”

—Vivica (aka desperada) gets her job with Jagged back and she and Luka end up talking because of it and they start bonding over their love for guitars and Vivica offers to let Luka be a guest in their performance and to give him more professional guitar lessons and he’s like “holy hecking yes”

—Marinette is like “problem solved I guess but now what do I do? Oh no, Adrien and Kagami are being happy together over there”

—Alya is like “go talk to them” and Marinette’s like “I can’t what if I panic” and Alya’s like “fine I’ll talk to them first” and she just flops down next to Nino and starts joking along with them

—Marinette follows a little bit later and immediately Kagami is like “Marinette you’re so amazing, I didn’t know you were friends with Jagged Stone? Adrien was telling me you designed his album cover? That’s incredible I wish I could be as talented as you” and Marinette’s just like “omg Kagami is not evil?? Who knew??”

—The episode ends with Marinette trying to act as normal as she can around Adrien and then Alya’s like “hey Kagami I gotta show you the photos I took of the Akuma fight. Nino, you should come too” and she just winks at Marinette and Marinette’s like “oh no I am alone with Adrien”

—but then Adrien is just like, “I wish I could be part of the Ladyblog, Ladybug is so cool *dreamy face* and Marinette just dies immediately

—they're all happy and everyone gets love and support; the end

#miraculous ladybug #ml #desperada #nino lahiffe #adrien agreste #kagami tsurugi #alya cesaire #marinette dupain cheng #fic tag #i guess this counts as a fic lol

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foxholistic77 · 3 years

Text

Ableton Amazon

To use any version of Live you need an Ableton account. It takes less than a minute to create one, and even less to log in if you already have one. Amazon.co.uk: ableton live 10 suite Select Your Cookie Preferences We use cookies and similar tools to enhance your shopping experience, to provide our services, understand how customers use our services so we can make improvements, and display ads, including interest-based ads. Amazon's Choice for 'ableton live' AKAI Professional APC Key 25 - USB MIDI Keyboard Controller featuring 25 Piano Style Keys, 40 Buttons and 8 Assignable Encoders, for Ableton.

Ableton is undeniably one of the most popular DAWs on the market, but it is quite pricey.

If you are just getting started with music production it can seem like a big investment, but is Ableton worth the money or is it superfluous? Can you get the same elsewhere for cheaper? Why do people consistently shell out for Ableton Live and other Ableton products considering the price?

Ableton Live is very good for certain types of producers, usually those in specializing in electronic music production. The live functionality, intuitive loop-based production, built in instruments, samples and effects and integration with Ableton Hardware make it well worth the high price tag.

If you do want a truly elite piece of software for making music, there aren’t that many options. If the workflow of Ableton suits your production style then this is another big plus point, as Ableton is quite unique in its layout. Plenty of musicians are happy to pay the price considering the features Ableton has.

The Ableton Pricing Model

Ableton Live has three versions. Intro, Standard and Suite. They all look very similar to start with, but if you buy Standard or Suite then you can enjoy extra VST instruments, effects and loops included. Plus, Ableton Live Intro restricts quite a few of the features and functions of the software.

While Ableton Live Lite might be decent for playing around and getting used to the interface, the cheaper price tag shouldn’t be enough to tempt in serious musicians. It is quite restrictive. For instance, you can’t add more than 16 tracks to a piece of music you are making. It is definitely designed to try and get you to upgrade to Standard or Suite.

Luckily, once you have purchased one version of the software, Ableton will let you upgrade, so you don’t have to pay the full price to get the next level of software.

This upgrade cosy is a bit of a hidden cost to consider, you do have to pay to upgrade if you want all the features of the new software. You can still carry on using the old versions of Ableton though but you will always feel like you are missing out on something! These new versions come out every few years on average. Ableton is currently on version 10.

The price for the full version is similar to the price of Pro Tools, a competing piece of software, which is also extremely powerful, and aimed at musical professionals. There are some cheaper alternatives, as we will come to later on in the article.

Which Producers Will Find Ableton Worth the Investment?

Arrangement vs Live View

Whether or not you find Ableton worth the money will largely depend upon how you use it, and if you find the workflow suitable for you.

The ‘Live’ in Ableton Live is there for a reason and the software is made with the idea of playing live heavily integrated. For this reason it has additional functionality to other DAWs and why it is favoured by many dance music producers who may want to take their creations to a live setting.

Instead of the linear “arrangement” window, Ableton also has its Live window, allowing you to audition loops and mess around with effects in real time. This is why so many dance music producers, and people who use a lot of loops in their production, have found Ableton to have a suitable workflow. This style is great for DJs who are used to working in looped modes, thinking of music in more of a live capacity.

If you’ve used DAWs before and like working in an ‘arrangement’ view then you may not even use Abletons ‘live’ view and that means you are paying a lot of money for something you aren’t using. There will probably be cheaper DAWs out there which will be just as useful if that is the case.

Alternatives if you would rather work in this “linear” fashion include Logic Pro and Pro Tools. There are some cheaper alternatives, too.

Whether you find Ableton Live worth the money isn’t just about how much it costs, it is about whether it aids your production or not. Many producers describe themselves as “clicking” with the Ableton layout. If you’re used to DJing and want to be able to audition loops in a more live environment then it certainly could be your production companion.

Hardware Integration

Ableton manufactures its own hardware, and there is a lot of third-party hardware designed to link up with Ableton Live and give you a hardware controller with an instant Ableton setup. Ableton’s own “Push” is one of the instruments that a lot of people like the idea of playing.

In the words of Ableton, “Push is an instrument that puts everything you need to make music in one place—at your fingertips.” If you want hardware too, this might come into your consideration.

Some hardware and even affordable MIDI keyboards come with Ableton Live Lite as standard, so this can be a way to trial the basic version of the software without having any extra expense.

How Will You Know if Ableton Live is For You?

We realise our answer to whether Ableton is worth the money is going to be frustrating for some people, as we can’t give you a “yes” or “no”. Plenty of people get a lot out of Ableton Live and would never switch to any other piece of software, which speaks volumes, but we definitely recommend trying it out.

Luckily, Ableton gives you a 90 day free trial of Ableton Live Suite. You can simply download the software from their site.

Some functionality is limited, and after 90 days you will have to make the decision of whether or not to pay for it, but this is pretty standard. The key is the fact that you will get to make the decision yourself after using Ableton Live for a period of time.

The question of ‘which is the best DAW’ is one you will find many conflicting answers for all over the internet. The reason for this is there is no one right answer. People tend to choose a DAW early in their production career and become familiar with it and often end up loving it.

I have used Ableton since I got a free copy of Live Lite when I was just 15. I am now familiar and comfortable with how it works and that is one of the most important factors. You don’t want to be spending hours or days re-learning a new piece of software when you could be writing music instead!

The Competitors to consider

Best if you don’t want to spend anything: Garageband

Readers of the blog may know I often rave about Garageband. This DAW gets a bit of stick because it comes free on Apple products but I think that is unfair. For a beginner, it is a great way to learn about music production and how to arrange a musical composition.

The software is easy to start using and comes with some pretty nice sounding virtual instruments as well as letting you record your own of course.

If you are simply interested in getting started now for free, then give it a go. As musicians, we can get bogged down in talking about software and hardware but in reality, those are just distractions from actually writing and recording music!

The downsides of Garageband will become apparent as you progress as a producer. You are very limited with the number of effects and plugins you can use and more advanced production techniques are really a no go. But because it was free you haven’t lost anything.

Ableton Launchpad Amazon

The other major downside is that you can only get Garageband on Apple products and so if you own a Windows computer or laptop you won’t be able to get it.

Once you are comfortable with the principles of recording music on Garageband, transitioning to a paid DAW like Ableton will be much easier. It’s a great stepping stone for a beginner.

Best if you aren’t interested in live performance: Logic Pro

If you are a Mac user, then you might be wondering whether Ableton Live or Logic Pro is more suitable for you to download and start using. Obviously, there is an element of personal preference, but both have an incredibly professional reputation and relatively simple layout.

The full version of Logic Pro is less than half the price of the full version of Ableton Live, which is a considerable saving.

If you have a free reign to spend as much as you want then this won’t come into your consideration, if you want something that is affordable as well as high-end then the affordability of Logic Pro might come into your thinking. Logic Pro still has plenty of virtual instruments and inbuilt effects, and the costs are considerably lower.

Once again I’m afraid Logic is only available on Apple products. But I do really recommend getting an Apple computer or laptop for music production which I explain in this article if you are interested.

Amazon Ableton Live

A Cheaper Alternative on Windows: Reaper

Reaper is a DAW that has increased in popularity immensely over the last few years. And this is mainly due to its very low price point.

You can get a non-commercial licence for Reaper for just $40 whereas a commercial licence is just $200. Most individuals will only need the $40 licence.

Reaper can be a little bit daunting to get started with as it has so many customisable elements. But that can be a strong point too. If you are comfortable with computers and don’t mind spending time getting to know the ins and outs of a piece of software then Reaper is a very cool option.

Where it falls down compared to Ableton are again mainly the ‘Live’ elements. It isn’t tailored in the same way towards dance music production or live performance. But if you are looking to record using acoustic instruments rather than produce within the computer using MIDI and loop based production then Reaper is a very interesting option.

Students and Teachers – Don’t Forget Discounts

Ableton Live 10 Suite

A quick reminder for those who are looking to keep costs down. If you are a student or a teacher and can prove that you are involved with an educational establishment then you can make use of discounts of up to 40%.

This significant saving can tip the balance of whether or not you want to buy Ableton or not. Ableton is not the only software offering this discount for students, but if you are eligible then you shouldn’t overlook the saving that can be made.

Conclusion – Is Ableton Worth the Money?

Whether or not Ableton will be worth the investment for you is an individual decision to make. There are plenty of cheaper (and even free) options out there but that doesn’t mean you should dismiss Ableton.

Ableton really shines for certain types of producers and musicians. If you like to write in loops, use a lot of MIDI or software synths then Ableton is hard to beat and is extremely powerful. You aren’t paying all that money for nothing.

Ableton Push 1 Amazon

That said you are paying all that money for nothing if you don’t use it to it’s full potential. If you are simply looking to record a few tracks using live instruments and vocals, Ableton is probably not the best option in terms of value.

Amazon Ableton Live 10

I personally use Ableton and have for years and so can vouch for it fully. If you think it could work for you give the 90 day trial a go and make sure you maximise that time. Explore the 1000s of Youtube videos about the software and watch people make tracks using it. If you are still unsure then try the Lite version next, you can still make some pretty cool tracks in that limited software. Then finally you can take the plunge on the final version!

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secretradiobrooklyn · 3 years

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Get In Moses Edition | 2.13.21

Secret Radio | 2.13.21 | Hear it here.

art by Paige, liner notes mostly by Evan, *means Paige

1. Chantal Goya - “Tu m’as trop menti”

From the movie “Masculin feminin,” a DVD we borrowed from Tim. This is the film where Godard was whispering the lines into a headset of the actor, so they were learning their lines literally as they were saying them. This is the opening song. Not particularly Valentine’s Day, in that it’s about lying too much… but still there’s a dissatisfaction that is undeniably a part of French romance.

2. Human League - “(Keep Feeling) Fascination”

Such a square song! But the keys hook is so immortally beautiful, with its crucial warble. The rest of the song is sweetly and innocently ‘80s. It reminds me of being in art class in high school, fully participating in the aesthetic crimes of the era.

3. Marijata - “Break Through” - “Afro-Beat Airways”

Analog Africa is just now releasing a repress of this long sold-out collection. I’d listened to it before, but I guess that was before I knew about Marijata (thanks again, Jeffrey!) because it was a shock to discover a track by one of our very favorite Ghanaian discoveries. So far as I knew, Marijata only released one album of four songs — which is fantastic — and then eventually started backing a guy named Pat Thomas. Those records, unfortunately, are nowhere near as vital and fascinating as their own record. So finding this song was a welcome revelation! I should also say that, no surprise, the whole collection is a banger from front to back, and will definitely show up again on the show.

4. Philippe Katerine (avec Gérard Depardieu) - “Blond”

This strange guy is a kind of joker songwriter in French pop, as far as I can tell. This song is all about what one can get away with if one is blond. He’s a really fascinating character, a tiny bit like Beck maybe, in the sense that he seems to have made a successful career of taking unexpected directions. He’s also an actor, working with Claire Denis (!), Jonathan Demme and Gille Lellouche among many others. He was also in “Gainsbourg - A Heroic Life,” which is an excellent movie that we highly recommend. (We had no idea who he was when we saw it at the St. Louis Film Festival.) Also, he appears to be married to Gérard Depardieu’s daughter, which would seem to explain this particular guest star.

- The Texas Room - “Cielito Lindo”

Several years ago, a producer in St. Louis put together the amazing album known as “The Texas Room,” which brought together immigrants from all over the world who currently lived in St. Louis. That meant Bosnians, Cameroonians, Mexicans, and native-born Americans… including Andy Garces, a fellow Paige went to high school with — His mom was Paige’s voice teacher as a matter of fact — who recorded this strange and excellent version of “Cielito Lindo.” The release party for the album was one of the greatest nights we spent in that or any city, dancing our faces off to all kinds of music. At one point the Bosnians got so excited they took over the room, shouting along and hoisting up their guy in the air. Basil Kincaid did the art for the album, and I think that’s the night we finally met. We have one of his collages on our studio wall right now — right over there!

5. The Modern Lovers - “I’m Straight” *

When we got the current SK van (circa 2015) we were super excited because we could finally bring out other musicians on the road and we could also have folks from other bands that we were out with jump in the van with us for a stretch. That February we were on tour with Jamaican Queens, and our friend Andy Kahn came out with us to play guitar. Not only is Andy a rad musician and great guy to be around, but he was an excellent road DJ. Somehow I made it to 30 without getting into The Modern Lovers (I know, crazy!) Andy has great taste and had a well appointed iPod so he was the official van DJ pretty much right away. He put on this record one day and I just lost it. The thing is, after that I was like “Play ‘Roadrunner’ again!” all the time. When I hear this record I still think of that tour. Andy in the back seat DJing, Ben and Erik jumping in the van to come with to Baltimore, graduating to “truck” in the Holland Tunnel queue, so much snow, host Bentley, “Go cats?”, Aaaaaahhhhh!

6. Frances Carroll & the Coquettes - “Coquette / When I Swing My Stick / Jitterbug Stomp”

I think we learned about this band last year, when Coquettes drummer Viola Smith died at 107 years old (in Costa Mesa, not Silverlake, Paige would like you to know — her bad). The video link below is highly recommended — the whole band swings hard, and the interaction between them and Frances Carroll is well worth the watch. They were considered a curiosity at the time, being an all-female band, and man they could play. Viola Smith in particular had an insanely long career, playing from the 1920s straight through into 2019! She played with Ella Fitzgerald and Chick Webb, and in the original Broadway production of “Cabaret.” Her particular innovation was having two toms at shoulder height, on either side of her head, which she would roll and ricochet shots off. Very cool style, never copied.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=pFDD_NxtKZ4

7. Pierre Sandwidi - “Boy Cuisinier”

Born Bad Records is one of the world’s coolest record labels, with a huge array of vintage discoveries as well as African albums as well as contemporary pop and noise bands. “Boy Cuisinier” is off Pierre Sandwidi’s album with them. It bears some definite relation to Francis Bebey but takes its own turns just as often. Sandwidi hails from Burkina Faso, known as the Upper Volta when he was growing up. We’re just now learning about him and his scene — I confess I didn’t even know Upper Volta was African; I thought it was Slavic — so I wouldn’t be surprised if some more Voltaic music shows up here soon.

8. Evan Sult avec Tracy Brubeck - “The Cats Won’t Stay In”

Paige’s mom Tracy called while we were in the middle of the show, and they paused to have a conversation about, you know, whatever — the snowstorms, the neighbors, the news. She was on speakerphone so that we could all talk, and eventually I just started taking notes as fast as I could. This is the result. I find it fascinating. That’s Paige singing lead on the Marty Robbins tune.

9. Kil Monnower Alimunna, Grup Hindustanbul - “Tadap Tadap”

Years ago I saw the movie “Monsoon Wedding” by the director Mira Nair. It really stuck with me, particularly the gorgeous opening credits in maroon and orange and sky blue. I was trying to tell Paige about that sequence, so just in case we could catch a glimpse of those colors, we watched the trailer. This song is the soundtrack to the trailer. It’s really an amazing track — so Indian, of course, but with definite Western points of contact, like when it goes to the major chords unexpectedly in the post-chorus, which sounds practically American. And the final outro minute or so is full of delayed, reverbed vocals in a psychedelic style, til it reaches the strange and intoxicating sound that he makes with his voice as the song fades into the distance.

- Martial Solal “New York Herald Tribune” - “A bout de souffle” soundtrack

10. Gillian Hills - “Tut Tut Tut Tut”

Gillian Hills, probably more famous for “Zou Bisou Bisou.” This track is great, listen for those syrupy slides and harmonies. I just learned that she is English, and the music video for this song is definitely shot in Angleterre. Full of famous red phone booths (now famous little free libraries.) When we were doing this week’s show I asked Evan “Is this song too obvious?” He said no, it wasn’t too obvious. If you know why I’m asking, then you know. So is it?

11. Jacques Dutronc “La Compapade”

We’ve been into Jacques Dutronc for many years now, because he’s a brilliant French songwriter and composer. But this one track has been a baffler for many years now. It shows up out of nowhere and sounds like… what? What the hell IS that? Is it African? It sounds African, but — is it? Is it just some strange lark on his part? Paige was apprehensive about playing it on the show, even though we both really enjoy it, because we couldn’t tell if it was somehow demeaning to someone. But eventually I argued that we don’t know what the hell most of the singers are saying in the songs we play, or which cultural taboos they’re transgressing, and the same is true in this case. If it is somehow offensive to anyone, I hope it’s clear that wasn’t our intention. But… I don’t know. I don’t think it is. I think it just comes from a cultural heritage and context that is French in a way Americans cannot understand or appreciate. In any case, it’s an amazing performance and recording!

12. K. Frimpong & His Cubanos Fiestas - Me Da A Ɔnnda”

Research into African rock and styles eventually brought us to K. Frimpong and His Cubanos Fiestas, which has turned out to be a satisfying step into the Ghanaian highlife/Cuban scene. I love the keyboard hooks in this one and the way the patterns just roll on and on with each other like a river, in no hurry but pulled forward by their own currents. He was also a visual artist — his art appeared on the cover of last episode’s Nyame Bekyere album. This was also the first time I’ve encountered the character “Ɔ” in the wild. I have zero idea how it is pronounced.

13. They Might Be Giants - “Birdhouse In Your Soul”

“Not to put too fine a point on it / Say I’m the only bee on your bonnet / Make a little birdhouse in your soul.” I remember when I first realized that was a feeling I was feeling — hoping to build a birdhouse in the soul of another, to be inside one another in a little protected place. The rest of the song is a nerd-rock dream palace I love as much as any other nerd, but the chorus is where I discovered an emotion I hadn’t suspected was there when I first heard and fell for this song and this band in high school (thanks, Jeremy Peterson!).

Paige adds: This song is blowing my mind. I don’t like writing lyrics, my ratio of melodies and harmonies to lyrics way out of whack. Evan brought this song back into our lives this week when Sleepy Kitty was asked what our favorite love songs are on a real radio show. We’ve been listening to it a bunch since Thursday and damn, these lyrics are good. It’s really reminding me that you can write about ANY.THING. Blue Canary in the freakin’ outlet by the light switch. Looking at the lighthouse picture. It’s a clinic. I learned something, and I can go home.

On the original topic, I love thinking of this as a love song. If you hear a love song, it’s a love song. It’s a love song.

14. Sleepy Kitty - “Tu veux ou tu veux pas” *

I took two years of French in high school and missed out junior and senior year because of a scheduling lulu that made 3rd and 4th year French conflict with advanced painting which was the primary reason I was taking French in the first place. I’m still not over it. Years later, I’m at Electropolis (in my memory) and I hear this Brigitte Bardot song on Tim’s excellent sound system and I can understand…most?…some…of it! I fell in love with this song and with French again and started stumbling, scrabbling at it again. We started working up this cover. Thank you Suzie Gilb for helping with the pronunciation. We did a 7” of this song and it’s a rare SK track with me playing trombone on it.

15. The Velvet Underground - “I Love You” *

I don’t really have much to say about this track except that it reminds me of flying to Germany because I got the 5 Disc set with all the extras on it a few days before leaving for a high school foreign exchange program. I was so happy to have those discs to absorb on the long flight, and come to think of it, it really inflected the whole trip.

16. Secret Song - “African Scream Contest”

The genesis of our love for African rock/funk/whatever (if for a moment we don’t count the profoundly influential “Graceland”) is the immortal collection “Legends of Benin,” put out by Analog Africa. As soon as we dug further for our favorites from that collection, we found “African Scream Contest” vols 1 and 2. I was drawn to the second one because it had a killer track by our hero Antoine Dougbé, but eventually spent as much time with the first volume. Both are absolutely fantastic. Part of what I love so much about them is learning how much of an impact James Brown and his band had on African music, which is super apparent throughout these collections and especially this track. The drums and the grunts and the hard stops and the horn blasts — it’s all there.

One of the finest elements of these records is the hidden track at the end, tucked five or so minutes back from the last song. These are often some of the hottest tracks on the album, well worth the wait, and this mystery song is no exception. Unfortunately, though, that means we don’t know who made this track or what it’s called. Oh well — that only makes it cooler!

- Adrian from Brooklyn

17. The Beatles - “Dizzy Miss Lizzy”

We watched “The Beatles: Eight Days a Week” recently (totally worth a watch), and we were struck all over again by how insane their lives must have been at that time. Yes fame, yes sudden fortune, yes global supremacy, yes yes yes — the thing that I can’t get over is the shrieking, and how it wasn’t just present at their shows, it was EVERYWHERE THEY WENT, AT ALL TIMES ON ALL DAYS, EVERY SECOND THEY WERE OUTSIDE. How completely unsettling that must have been, to be the center of that howl, day after day, year after year.

18. The Fall - “Sing! Harpy”

Dedicated to Adrian from Brooklyn and all those young women and men losing their minds over the Beatles so completely that all they could do was shriek, even at shows where the crowd’s sound completely obliterated the sound of the band they so desperately loved and came to hear.

(This is also some of my favorite violin playing in any rock music, right up there with “Boys Keep Swinging” and The Ex’s “State of Shock.” I would LOVE to work with a violinist in this mode.)

19. T.P. Orchestre Poly-Rythmo - “Gnon a Gnon Wa”

So intense! That constant chord strike throughout the song is a kind of high-note drone that we find ourselves drawn to. It kind of reminds me of the sound of a casino, where you walk in and all of the machines are chiming the same note, promising to just take your mind away and keep it safe until you need it again.

- Tommy Guerrero - “El Camino Negro” - “Road to Nowhere”

20. Black Dragons de Porto Novo - “Se Djro” What a slinky number! I love how spare the instrumentation is, but how much power is contained in that one guitar part. This is side A of a 7” put out on Albarika Store, the label that T.P. Orchestre called home for many albums.

21. Helen Nkume and Her Young Timers - “Time” This is (so far) the closest we’ve gotten to reggae on WBFF. I know nothing about the band or the music other than their fantastic name and sound — oh, and the fact that she is known elsewhere as Prophetess Helen Nkume. She appears to be Nigerian, or anyway her record label is. I love the guitar hook on this song, it just sneaks in and steals the show.

22. Anne Sylvestre - “Les Gens Qui Doutent”

23. Parvati Khan - “Jimmi Jimmi Jimmi Aaja Aaja Aaja Re Mere” A lucky find! Someone in one of my Facebook groups posted a video from this album, so I took note and returned later to check it out. This is from an Indian movie called “I’m a Disco Dancer” that looks like a real kooky thrill. The actors appear to have only the vaguest sense of what “disco” might be — or what a guitar might be, for that matter. It kind of looks like someone saw a single photo of a disco night and extrapolated a whole movie from it. Nonetheless, Parvati Khan is entrancing in the song and in the video, and we HAVE to see this movie, with or without subtitles. The smoldering look alone really requires investigation:

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ZUdJQSUcK_Y

24. Nancy Sit - “Love Potion #9” * One thing I’ve always known about Evan is that he doesn’t like the song “Love Potion #9.” When we stumbled across this, I thought it was awesome but I didn’t want to make Evan listen to a song he doesn’t like on Valentine’s Day! Evan says this song has little to do with “Love Potion #9” which makes me wonder, Evan, what’s the part you don’t like about “Love Potion #9”?

Evan adds: I honestly can’t remember what my issue with this song was. I swear, it was like… it was around the time of “Melt With You,” which I also found inexplicably irritating (and still do). I suspect now that there was an inept cover version that first steered me wrong… but luckily there’s a strange Chinese version to steer me right again! Oh life.

- Michel Legrand - “Solange’s Song (Instrumental)” - “The Young Ladies of Rocheforte”

25. The Velvet Underground - “I’ll Be Your Mirror” * This is the song that I said was the best love song of the western world on the real radio. I think it’s so beautiful and so adult. I don’t even know if I would have thought of this as love song a few years ago. When first got into the V.U. I thought it was a pretty song – a neat song, but I didn’t really know what it meant, what it could mean. What’s funny is when I think of this song, I have a Lou Reed version in my head – his voice, the harmonies. When I revisited the Max’s Kansas City live version (which as far as I know is the only one besides other more recent live versions and surely what I’m thinking of?) I realized that the version in my head is essentially that one but cleaned up, remastered, different EQ, and as far as I know entirely imagined.

Evan adds: (Paige has been playing this song recently around the apartment. I don’t even have to tell you how lovely it is.)

*p.s. If you want to hear the piece about musicians talking about favorite love songs on KWMU it’s here: https://news.stlpublicradio.org/show/st-louis-on-the-air/2021-02-11/listen-love-songs-to-keep-you-warm-on-cold-winter-nights

Super fun getting to talk about this stuff and in such good company!

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zydrateacademy · 4 years

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Current Activities in Sims 4 #6

So here, I’m going to do a sort of character spotlight. After a little blurb, and a Read More break because there’s a LOT of images in this.

Around the time the Star Wars patch came out and killed several mods, I decided to create a new world. My first and original one after ~90 hours was becoming a bit cramped (I had about 12 custom households spread around. Still plenty of lots to move into but still). The ‘big’ ones updated quick and I just took it as a sign to start anew, with some makeovers. My first world also had sims and families that didn’t have the luxury of all the clothing options I do now, so there’s also that.

So my first madeover family is Relmyna and Ameel.

Their narrative is that they are two artists helping each other out. Relmyna is a magic’d bloodline but mostly human artist who funds most of the household. She has a legit job as a painter. Ameel is... an alien. She’s all about the music, and so far has remained unemployed as she builds up her fame by DJing at certain hotspots. She avoids her disguise because she thinks that helps her get famous faster. On a narrative basis, she’s right. Mechanically, this means nothing. Just gotta deal with that “embarassed” moodlet every so often. Their main gameplay loop is Relmyna getting a shitton of money and upgrading their household. Which right now is about two or three satellite buildings.

They barely enter the main house, by the way. Anyway, Ameel spends most of her time practicing instruments. She’s maxed out on DJing and Guitar, and pretty high in singing. Like 9 or something. She’ll work on Violin next, and maybe Piano. I’m not sure what any of that will really do for her, it just suits her narrative. Here’s some proper headshots. I won’t be following this same format with every Sim, just kind of figuring this out as I go.

So here’s one of my newest concepts, Kassandra Sun. She was originally darker skinned. She started as a Dark Elf/Dunmer from TES like thing but that ashy black skintone doesn’t really ‘work’ with the animations. They look a bit blobby, and that’s probably why the community is complaining about some of the darker skintones in the game. I made her more human-dark and realized she looked like three of my other characters (very close to Relmyna with different hair) so I just Caucasian’d her up.

She’s my first foray into the acting career and so far I’m enjoying it, though it’s hard to tell how much fame I’m actually getting out of it. She’s a B-lister right now and that’s a pretty good place to be, some of the 3 star perks are very useful. Like how you can skip auditions and costuming and go straight to the role. So that’s cool. I’ve also clearly given her some elven/magical descent because I’m a slut for those Plentiful needs potions. Her current house is an upgrade from a starter but is mostly just a full prefab with an extension to put her relevant stuff. She paints on the side because I’m a slut for that painter money. She adopted a kitten named Kelly, whom I will manually age up in a season or two (I have aging disabled because some of my technically immortal character concepts were becoming elders without me noticing).

Now here comes my self insert, a trans girl named Livia Jones. I’ve talked about her in previous posts but nothing has really changed except her wardrobe. Even her default outfit has remained the same because I LOVE it and want it in real life. Pretty sure I have the pants at least.

She has a pet cat named Jailbird.

Interestingly, she does not have the “mischievous” trait... that I can remember. I just liked the outfit. I will say this version of Livia slightly differs from my first world’s Livia, but probably not for very long. Right now she’s a writer and with a writer’s job. In the previous world, writing was a side gig (like it is IRL) but was a professional gamer as her actual job. I might actually be going back to that eventually but I’ll go down the Author career for a small while. Her royalties are up to ~3500 right now and that’s not bad, but I also liked the idea of streaming and I want to get back to that. It’d be closer to RL, but without all the money, fame, and success. Which is why I love this game. This is Malia Tilo.

My attempt at an islander and mermaid, and eventually I want to delve into the eco mechanic of the island. She has a cat named Moana. I’ve tried a couple different things with her, like living off the grid but there’s something generating 2 units of power and I can’t fucking find it. I also experimented with the Naturalist thing from Wicked Whims but they tend to keep dressed when you’re on other Sims so it doesn’t really amount to much beyond some basic level titillation. I dress her fairly skimpily (given that the island is naturally hot) so she gets some Naturist skill over time anyway. I haven’t played her much, even in my first world, because there’s not a lot going for her to interest me. Healing the island is a slow endeavor, and being a mermaid means I can’t farm up all those Plentiful Needs potions unless I get a spellcaster to move in with her, so in turn it makes running around the whole island an irritating affair. She has 583$ to her name and an easel at the ready but... Just not really in the mood to play her. So here comes The Matriarch.

She should have a cat named Lazarus as well, which is an oversight on my part. I’ll work on it. Lorewise, she’s one of my oldest and most complex characters. Not much has changed for her in World 2, so I’ll just take some screenshots I already have:

She’s much nicer than she looks. She has -some- extra outfits and accessories now but that’s her main look in general. I also found a lighting-type tattoo over her body which simulates part of her curse. The idea is that she was overcharged with some chaos magic a long time ago in her plotline, thus the fucked up face and bad teeth. The stuff you see on her face (typically a vampire thing) also goes through her entire body. I couldn’t find anything that does quite what I have in my head but... it’ll do.

I haven’t done much on her in World 2 yet, but I plan on downloading some type of black magic job mod so she can get to work proper. None of the odd jobs or anything suit her concept so I need something reclusive...

...like painting. Don’t judge me. That’s all for now. I still want to make a university student and engineer. I’ll get there eventually.

#The Sims #Sims 4 #The Sims 4 #Sims #Electronic Arts #EA Games #PC Gaming #Gaming

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andimthedad · 5 years

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Road Trip FAQ: How did you spend all that time in the car without going insane?

This summer, the kids and I embarked on a 10,000-mile cross-country road trip from Washington to Maine and back. Along the way, we got a brief taste of America through landmarks and sights that represent our nation, for better or worse.

Read notes from every day of the trip:

Eastward: 1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7, 8, 9, 10.

Westward: 1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7, 8, 9, 10, 11, 12.

And various posts from the FAQ.

It’s more likely that we started the trip insane and simply maintained it.

In any case: first, I drove. That is how I spent the time. It would be wrong for me to ask either of the kids to drive, as tempting as that may be. Also, I was fortunate to be driving a Toyota Sienna minivan that had useful safety alert features: dynamic radar built into the cruise control, lane drift alerts, and run-flat tires in case something went really terribly wrong.

Second, we asked the kids to write about what they saw. They mostly did this in the car, typing on Chromebooks (in offline mode) as I drove and we listened to music.

I had hoped the kids could be online throughout the trip, using my phone as a mobile WiFi hotspot. We have Google Fi mobile service, which means our phones could switch between Sprint, T-Mobile, and US Cellular depending on signal strength. And this mostly worked as expected, according to the network history log of Signal Spy. The phone switched between the three networks several times, and even switched to AT&T a few times, which may be due to a partnership with T-Mobile in some areas. However, especially out west, the signal was very weak no matter what carrier we used. If you're interested in Google Fi, use this link to get both you and I a $20 credit.

Third, we listened to audio recordings: audiobooks (through Audible.com), podcasts, and music. They had to be things I could download in advance, as Internet access was unpredictable. For example:

Red Rising, a book by Pierce Brown. This science fiction novel is “reminiscent of The Hunger Games and Game of Thrones” as Kirkus Reviews put it, and that is an apt description: a “lowborn” miner on a Mars colony ends up joining a resistance movement against a cruel ruling class. The audiobook is read by Tim Gerard Reynolds, who has a lovely Irish accent. The story is not a happy one, but it is exciting. It’s good enough that the kids want me to download the next book.

Swing, a book by Kwame Alexander and Mary Rand Hess. It’s a funky, fun coming-of-age story about two high school boys trying to navigate friendship, love, identity, and modern cultural issues — all while trying to find their “cool.” The story is infused with jazz references and read almost lyrically by Kwame Alexander. We’re not done with this but we’re really curious about where it’s going.

Six Minutes, a narrative podcast by Best Robot Ever. The story begins with a girl found floating in the ocean who can’t remember her past but seems to have unusual abilities. It’s like listening to a play or, as I told the kids, like the radio shows of old: actors doing the voices, sound effects, music, etc. Episodes are really only about 4-5 minutes if you ignore the pre- and post-advertisements and the oddly long music sequence at the end of each episode.

Adam Ruins Everything, the podcast offshoot of Adam Conover’s television show by the same name. For example, in the first episode, Adam interviews Seleta Reynolds, the general manager of the Los Angeles Department of Transportation. It’s a relatively fun and thought-provoking show about modern topics.

All kinds of music. As the front passenger, Luke, age 14, did most of the DJing off of my music library, so we ended up listening to a lot of Lecrae, KB, Andy Mineo, Propaganda, Jackie Hill-Perry, Tedashii, and the like. I threw in my own random selections depending on my mood: Midnight Oil, Tito Puente, Jonny Lang, TobyMac, Stevie Wonder, Preservation Hall Jazz Band, U2, Arvo Pärt, Beethoven, P.O.D., Over the Rhine, the Swan Silvertones, Ray Charles, Mercy Me, NF, and more.

On the return westward, I’m going to try adding a couple other things:

I'll download the Pimsleur language app and try out some Spanish lessons in the car with the kids. I took two years of Spanish in college, decades ago, and still understand a little. However, most language learning apps are aimed at individuals, and require some level of interactivity; we can’t do that in the car. Pimsleur’s approach appears to be the most flexible in this regard, unlike an app such as DuoLingo (which a lot of people recommended to me). We’ll see how it goes. It might be a terrible idea.

I'll try listening to the British comedy news podcast, No Such Thing As A Fish.

#road trip #faq #roadtrip #kids #travel #parenting #dads #fathers #fathering #audio #audio books #music #podcasts #adam ruins everything #red rising #swing #kwame alexander #six minutes

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yourmandevine · 5 years

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Come on, come on, come on: get through it

NOTE: A lot of people who have read this have shared their condolences and well wishes, which is really nice. Some have also asked if there was anything they could do for Sean’s family, which is amazing. If you’re able and feel moved to, there is: There’s a college fund for Winnie. Thanks to everyone who has reached out.

***

One of the best friends I’ll ever have died on November 29, after a fight with cancer. He was 36, and he leaves a wife and a young daughter, all of which is an infuriating sin. I’ve been trying to find a way to sit with that. I’m not sure how well I’ve been doing.

I gave the eulogy at his funeral mass. Whenever I’ve talked to people about that, they have apologized to me, have said they were so sorry that I got asked to do that, that I had to do that. It’s weird: I never looked at it like that.

I feel so lucky that I got to know Sean Enos-Robertson -- to really know him, what he cared about, what he loved, what made him so special. You rarely get to know anybody like that, and when you do, sometimes you don’t wind up liking what you see. That never happened with Sean; he was a font of joy, someone who lived to make the lives of others just a little bit better. His wife asked me if I’d write something down and talk to people about this beautiful, amazing person I was so lucky to know. That wasn’t a burden. It was a privilege. An honor.

And now, a few weeks later, as I’m trying to figure out how to process this, I keep thinking that I’d like to share that.

You guys won’t get to know Sean, which is so, so decidedly your loss. But maybe this lets you know how much he meant to me, to us, and to so many other people, and it makes you think about the people who mean this much to you. And maybe you tell them.

Maybe you tell them while you have the chance, because telling people you care about them, and who they are in your life, and why you love who they are full stop is one of the best things there is, and there’s never a wrong time for it so long as it’s before the end. I got to tell Sean how I felt before he died, and I got to tell his family, and his friends, and his students -- my God, his students -- and now I’m telling you. Sean Enos-Robertson was brilliant, the best, a light in a lot of lives. I miss him, and I love him, and I always will. Here’s why.

***

Hello, everybody. My name is Dan Devine, and I'm a friend of Sean's. I am a friend of Sean's. I'm not going to use the past tense for that; it didn't stop being true last Thursday, and it's never going to.

On behalf of Courtney and Winnie, and of the Robertson and Enos families, I'd like to thank you for being here. In a broad sense, Sean believed in community: in the power of people uniting for a common good. More specifically, Sean believed in love. He loved his family — his wife and daughter, his parents and in-laws, his brother and grandmother. He loved his friends. He loved his students and colleagues. He loved the people he leaned on, and who leaned on him — those of us here today, and many others who couldn't make it, but are sharing their love, and our grief.

Sean was one of my favorite people. He was magnetic. He was invigorating. He was cool as hell.

Sean radiated. He was a candle: someone who lit up and warmed every room he walked into, every person whose life he touched. This ... this is a tough room to light up. So we're going to have to do it together.

Before we do it, though, I want to acknowledge a hard truth I've been sitting with, and that you might be sitting with, too. It is deeply, impossibly unfair that Sean is gone — that he was taken from us so soon. Too soon. Way, way, WAY too soon. That's real, and it's OK to feel that.

In my better moments, though, I can set that aside and make room for gratitude — that Sean walked into my life in the first place, that I got as much time with him as I did, and that I got so much exposure to such a shining example of how to love.

There's a song by Tom Petty that I really love called "Walls." There's a line in the chorus that goes, "You got a heart so big, it could crush this town." That was Sean. Sean loved openly, fearlessly, completely — he hugged like you could win medals for it. He loved with everything he had, with his whole body. And if you don't believe that, then you never saw my man dance.

He loved music, and especially sharing it — I don't think anybody made me more mix CDs to try to put me onto something that I hadn't heard. (I'm pretty sure I have about five different "best of Blur" mixes. Sean really loved Blur.)

youtube

I met Sean at Providence College in the fall of 2000, right near the start of our freshman year. I'd seen him around at meetings for people who wanted to apply for shows on the college radio station, WDOM, but we didn't become friends right away. I know exactly when that happened: October 29, 2000. (I looked it up.)

That night, Mike Doughty, the singer from Soul Coughing, played a solo show at the Met Cafe in downtown Providence. I took the PC shuttle downtown by myself to catch the show, and somewhere around the weird acoustic cover of "Real Love" by Mary J. Blige, I saw that tall, skinny dude again. We awkwardly sidled up to one another to watch the show, and wound up walking back to campus together. We talked about bands and school and the station and whatever else two 18-year-olds talk about, all the way back home, and that was that. From that moment on, that was my man.

We hung out a lot, as evidenced by the staggering number of old photos I've looked through recently in which one or both of us had extremely tragic haircuts, facial hair, or sideburns. We lived together for two wonderful years in an awful apartment in Cranston, R.I.

The first year, we lived with our friend Todd. We had two parking spots for three cars, so one of us would always be blocking somebody in. Whenever it was time for the blocked-in person to get out, he'd ask, "Are you behind me?" And always, every time, Sean would answer, "100 percent, man."

It was this small, dumb thing, but it always made me laugh. Sean was really good at that.

We learned how to be adults together, finishing school and trying to figure out how to pursue our passions. After searching a little, Sean found his. In 2007, he took a job teaching history to middle schoolers at Harlem Academy. He shared with scores of students his belief in civic responsibility, in actively engaging with our nation's past, in interrogating history to learn about how we got where we are and how we might make decisions about our future. He loved teaching, and he was incredible at it. In 2016, the Gilder-Lehrman Institute of American History named him the New York State History Teacher of the Year, and they don't just give that out.

Sean's commitment to his students went beyond the classroom. I got a much clearer picture of that when Courtney sent me a note she received after his passing from one of his students, sharing both condolences and her memory of Mr. Robertson as someone who "would always reach out to me when he thought I needed it." One day, in eighth grade, this student confided in Sean that she thought she wanted to be an artist. She braced for stereotypical adult dismissal, the classic speech about "getting a real job."

Instead, she got a giant smile and an inspiring conversation about Courtney's job as a graphic designer, about that being a real path, and about how she might be able to realize her dream. Courtney invited her to visit her job to see firsthand how it was done, and that it could be done. She's kept that dream throughout high school, and now into college, thanks in part to Sean's willingness to listen, to care, and to open his life to a student in need. I'm willing to bet there are a lot more stories like that.

The student concluded her note with a beautiful sentiment: "I pray that you and Winnie and the rest of Mr. Robertson's family and friends are able to find peace and comfort, and I pray that you are able to think of him and feel peace and joy, because I genuinely think that's what he would want." I think she's exactly right. Sean wanted to lift people's spirits, to lighten their moods; on the day he invited some of us Brooklyn friends over to tell us that his fight was coming to an end, he kept moving back and forth among playlists of incidental music, setting a soundtrack to hum underneath all the laughs and tears and reminiscing. Even then, dude was still DJing.

We learned how to be somebody's partner, and eventually somebody's husband, together. Sean met Courtney in 2002, and as I remember it, he knew very, very quickly that he'd hit the jackpot. I'm sure that they had their share of tough times over the years, especially recently, but they always seemed immensely supportive of one another. Their love, from the outside, always seemed easy, in that way that let you know it was right, secure for the long haul.

Something Sean and I had in common, and that I've always felt grateful for, is that we always knew our magnetic north. Everything in our life oriented around the person we wanted to spend it with, and wherever work or school or whatever tossed us, we could always go back to that, back to our person, and get pointed in the right direction. Courtney was his compass, his best reason for doing everything.

When they were going to get married, Sean asked me to stand up with him as his best man, and to give a toast. I dug that toast out of a box last week, and here's the part that matters: "I think that all guys — the honest ones, at least — will admit that the women in our lives do a lot of the heavy lifting in helping us become decent, valuable men. And this is no exception [...] When Sean called to tell me that he and Courtney had gotten engaged, the first thing I remember thinking is, 'They deserve each other.'"

Their time together deserved a better ending than this. But what came before — the 16 years of knowing this great a love was possible, the nine years of marriage, the two and a half years of Winnie's life? That was exactly what they deserved.

Courtney is one of the strongest, fiercest, most remarkable people I've ever met — a woman who has faced unimaginable challenges and kept putting one foot in front of the other. I can't fathom what today is like for you, Courtney, but I want you to know: we are going to be awesome for you and Winnie right now. And tomorrow, and the next day, and all the days after that. I'm sorry, but you're stuck with us.

We learned how to be fathers together. Sean was there for me when my Siobhan was born, ready to cradle this tiny thing in his arms and envelop us with love, and to look me in my bloodshot, frantic eyes and let me know that I didn't have to be OK, because I was never going to be alone with it all. I wanted to do the same for him when Winnie was born, but Sean never seemed to need it. He was just ready: all open arms and full heart and perfect love.

Winnie is amazing, and brave, and funny, just like her dad. She's one of my favorite people, too, and I ache for her. But I'm also so grateful that there are so many people who will line up to tell her just how fantastic her father was. She will always know how special he was, and how special she was to him, and how much he loved her. We'll make sure of that. It might be the most important thing any of us do once we leave here today.

This hurts. This is hard. It's not supposed to go like this. But we don't get to make these kinds of choices. All we can do is deal with the fallout.

I'd ask you to remember the words of Sean's student: "I pray that you are able to think of him and feel peace and joy." Sean Enos-Robertson spent 36 years doing everything he could to bring peace and joy to everybody he met. Sean loved with his whole soul, and we can do that, too. We can do that for him. Let's be candles. Let's radiate.

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rkcherryzen-blog · 5 years

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any of the newly revealed trainee's catch your eye?

ooh...wasn’t there a lot though?

we’ll start company to company i guess? let’s see, let’s see...we can start with kt since it won’t take too long. i’m not a huge kt stan, but they have taemin, so...what was i saying? oh yeah, trainees. hm-- that jiwon girl is like, really pretty. but that’s a norm for kt, honestly? besides jiwon that sungho guy caught my interest. kinda-- like that brooding, tall & handsome sort of thing. so i’d have to pick them, but i’d drop them for taemin anyday.

who’s next-- okay, nova. jongin really caught my eye right away. he’s not my usual type, but i think there’s some potential there. for what? who knows, but i know he’ll have something to him. maybe a variety star? maybe he has some killer vocals, but he looks like a rapper type. or maybe he’s a scandal king? i can’t wait to see that, hehe. and that chaeyoung girl! she was really...cute? she could do a lot better with dancing...though, maybe that doesn’t matter; there’s a bunch of idols who are known for mediocre dancing but great personality. she’d have my vote.

and sphere! ah...there’s a lot of girl trainees, and so few boys. so i’ll get boys out of the way first! i’m still reeling at all of the mga returnees-- so i’m very interested in jeongguk’s presence in sphere. it hasn’t been that long since the show, so when did he join? and he managed to snag a highlighted dance in the concert? we might have a winner there! girls wise, saerom’s a cute one, and she can dance. i seriously wonder if she can do anything else; maybe we’ll have a triple threat on our hands? i’m hoping so. we need more of those, really...

and onto royal. did anyone see how pretty that jisoo girl is? wow, just-- where do i apply to be her girlfriend (taemin, forgive me!)? though she really can’t dance, but she’s pretty, that’s for damn sure. for boys, ah...i mean, jaehyun caught my eye right away because rumor around the grapevine he’s got something with one of the eclipse girls. not sure how much truth to that is, but he might be a taken man in the industry. good luck gaining more fans with a possible girlfriend in the works, hah!

and finally, trc. with all the excitement about a new group upcoming, there’s a lot of spotlight on them recently, right? so...let’s get boys out of the way. chanyeol seemed really cool, with all the djing and what not. not really my style, but someone that knows how to actually dj is pretty cool. unless it was staged-- was it staged? i can’t tell. can you fake djing?? aah...anyway, girls! there’s a few of them we hadn’t realized were actually there-- but sejeong seemed cute. not a very strong dancer, but that doesn’t stop anyone from performing, does it? props to them for trying, i guess!

#🍒 ; inbox #Anonymous

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daddysfangirls-marvel · 6 years

Text

The Snow (7)

Pairing: Loki x child! reader

Warning: language

Summary: Thor finally arrives in Sakaar. And (y/n) talks to Loki about her family and Harry Potter

1| 2 | 3 | 4 | 5 | 6 | 7

(y/n) absolutely loved this party. There so many weird and strange people some had faced others didn’t they were all different colors with strange names from even strange places. (y/n) wondered how the grandmaster got such fascinating people to come to his party and had such abnormal friends. She wanted some too.

(y/n) was busy listening to Loki’s stories as he told them to others. She sat next to him with a strange green drink it tasted really good. Loki was in the middle of his story and (y/n) her drink when he excused them and dragged her away.

“Shh, shh!” Loki said as he approached Thor who was strapped in a strange chair.

“What? you’re alive?”

“yes, of course, I’m alive,” Thor said,

“what are you doing here?” Loki looked around awkwardly

“what do you mean, what am I doing? I’m stuck in this stupid chair. Where’s your chair?”

“we didn’t get chair” (y/n) answered sipping her drink

“get me out of this one”

“I can’t. I’ve made friends with this man. He’s called the Grandmaster.”

“Oh, he’s crazy”

“he is but fun” (y/n) agreed.

“We’ve gained his favor ... The bi-frost brought us out here weeks ago”

“weeks ago! I just got here..”.

“What are you whispering about?” They all looked up to find The Grandmaster DJing.

“Hi” (y/n) waved.

“Time works real different around these parks. On any other world I’d be like millions of years old but here on Sakaar...” He looked around squinting

“you are a wise... young man?”

“I like you kid. In any case, you know this um this um you call yourself Lord of Thunder”

“God of Thunder. Tell him” Thor defended his name and get Loki to help.

“I’ve never meet this man in my life” Loki waved him off

“He’s my brother” Thor shouted

“adopted”

“still brothers “ (y/n) said quietly , it was none of her business.

“Is he any kind of fighter?”

“Take this thing out of my neck and I’ll show you”

“oh look he’s threatening me. He sparkles you got a deal if you want get back to Ass place Assburg-”

“ASGARD”

“Any contender who defeats my champion their freedom they shall wi,n” Grandmaster said waving his hands around

“Fine, point me in the direction of whoever's ass I have to kick” Thor said.

(y/n) slipped behind Loki as she felt the anger radiate off Thor.

“That’s my contender. Direction would be this way my Lord” Grandmaster said then waved a wand moving Thor’s special chair.

“LOKI, LOKI, LOKI”.

After Thor was dragged away to the cells Loki and (y/n) returned to their room. Loki paced for a bit while (y/n) just watched she got tired of watching Loki and went to the bathroom to play with the water. (y/n) was making ting water fairies when she heard Loki talking to someone. Draining the water she went to the room to see Loki sitting on the bed eyes closed talking to ... himself? (y/n) sat on the bed next to Loki and listened to him talk.

“I mean you didn’t really think I’d come to see you this place it’s disgusting” It seemed like a one-sided conversation ... with the wall “so you don’t want my help. I could jeopardies my position with the grandmaster it took me time to win his trust. He’s a lunatic but he can be meaningful. What I’m telling you is you could join me at Grandmaster’s side and in time an accident be falls the Grandmaster and ...” he started moving his hands and made two thumbs up.

“You can’t kill the Grandmaster he’s funny and weird and-woah!” (y/n) touched Loki’s arm and found herself in a dirty cell across from Thor she let go of his arm and was back in their room. She touched him and was in the cell. No touch room, touch cell, no touch room, touch cell.

Thor and Loki watched as she disappeared and reappeared. Loki rolled his eyes “ignore here” and continued to talk with Thor. (y/n) was fascinated with the illusion and his magic that she didn’t even pay attention to the conversation missed the whole thing.

“aw” (y/n) said when she touched Loki again but didn’t go anywhere. She looked up to a very unhappy Loki.

“what’s wrong?”

“Thor is an idio,t” he said head down “ He’s a boy” Loki chuckled at (y/n), “a sad boy at that”.

(y/n) hugged Loki “ The both of you are different. Thor is strength and bravery. You’re intelligences and magic. Thor is Gryffindor. You are Ravenclaw”

“What?” (y/n) rolled her eyes.

“Thor is brave, courage, daring, and standing up for the stuff he likes but he is also reckless and short-tempers. You’re intelligent, have wisdom and wit, creativity, originality, individuality, and you do a lot of things no body likes but you like you aren’t easily accepted. Thor is brave and Loki is smart . Put that together and you’re unstoppable. You’ll save the universe.”

Loki hugged her back and laughed “where do you get this ideas from”. (y/n)’s smile flattered but did not fade

“My big brother read Harry Potter to me and he’d tell me all about the houses”

“you didn’t tell me you had a brother”.

It was true they had been here for weeks. Loki knew about Bucky, the running, and the fight with Avengers not once had her brother or original family came up.

“He died... Dad killed him. He’s gone now”

“oh darling I’m so sorry I’m so sorry” Such a tragic story for a child. Loki held her close and kissed her forehead but she didn’t cry she just held on tighter. It made Loki rethink his relationship with Thor and the child. His relationship with Thor could get better then again he liked how it was they’re cool they fought. Loki ‘dies’ Loki lives they make then they fought again.

It was an odd but nice relationship or at least Loki thought it was Thor... not so much. It could have been better far them. It could have been like it was when they were children. But that was a lie. This new real relationship was nice for Loki. And an Emotional roll coaster for Thor.

His relationship with (y/n) was brand new. His father asked him to take care of her and for some reason she felt like he had to. Odin’s last dying wish it was strange that Loki was taking care of her and not Thor he’s usually the one to follow and listen to their father. But here Loki was taking care of a little girl he barely knew.

Loki was so deep in thoughts he didn’t notice (y/n) fall asleep in his arms until she started slipping but he caught her before she could fall to the floor . Loki laid back with her on his chest and continued to think.

What did his father see in this child?

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