#i work with men

[call-me-maggie13]

Things my coworkers said during the Barbie movie:

Carson (17) : “wait. Is Ken the OG incel?”

Jermie (22) : “where do I get those rollerblades?” Also “That little girl is kinda mean. It’s not Barbie’s fault the world sucks. She should punch a president instead of yelling at Barbie.”

Jalen (19) : “now I’m upset that horses don’t run the world.”

Ken (24) : [quietly, during “I’m Just Ken,” in time with the music] “Ken. Ken. Ken. Ken. Ken.”

Caleb (18, his first day was the same day we went to the movie) : “I always thought I would want Morgan Freeman to narrate my life, but now I want Lizzo to write a song about it.”

Nathan (22, dressed up as Allan) : “Midge is actually Allan’s wife. Did you know that? He’s not actually gay. I mean, he is because him and Ken definitely fuck but - ” [gets told to shut up by another movie-goer] [quietly] “some people don’t know the Barbie lore and it shows.”

Cody (20, brought his gf but made her sit alone so he could sit with us) : “I like the little old lady. She reminds me of my granny. Except less racist.”

Questions the boys asked after the Barbie movie:

Carson : “I don’t think I understood it. Why was Barbieland supposed to be better than the real world if the Kens were treated like objects.” [we all kinda explain it] “Wait. Maggie. You feel like a Ken every day? I’m so sorry.”

Jermie : “Why did the old lady not tell Barbie she could be real? Is that something I was supposed to understand?”

Jalen : “Was that Dua Lipa? Was she a mermaid? Also, Ryan Gosling? Margot Robbie? Kate McKinnon? Dude. I thought this was gunna be bad just because it had so many big Hollywood people. But it was - god. Greta Gerwig will definitely be mentioned in my next therapy session. Can we come back next week?”

Ken : “Did you cry? I didn’t cry. It was alright.” (he definitely cried. Twice. I sat next to him.)

Caleb : “Can we get matching I Am Kenough shirts?”

Nathan : “Can I write a letter to Greta Gerwig to both thank her and ask her to never make a movie again? I don’t think I’ll survive another Greta movie.” (He has seen Little Women (2019) and Lady Bird (2017). He claims to have not recovered from either of them as well.)

Cody : “What’s a gynecologist?”

#my work #i work with men #i love working with them #boys will be Barbie #barbie movie #barbie 2023 #greta gerwing barbie #greta gerwig #barbie and ken #the boys and I have had long talks about the Barbie movie #they love it #we love it #we are getting matching I am kenough shirts #coworkers #boys from work #Barbie

[spaceoutdreamer]

People keep being surprised I'm bi and not a lesbian because they've "never heard me talk about a man" but like. Have you heard a man talk recently ? If anything, I'm surprised straight women exist at all

#story time #I work with men #And frankly ? #I'm not impressed #Men are trash #''urr durr a key that can open every lock is a great key but a lock that gets open by any key is a trash lock'' #Shut the fuck up bro you make me want to commit war crimes #Who in their right fucking mind would ever want a man

[hansoeii]

Ohh look, it's the dead boy detectives!

#it happened again #another pair of neil gaiman's gay men have stolen my heart #this happens too frequently for my liking #no but edwin and charles MY GOD #their relationship is so insanely beautiful #please watch dead boy detectives if you haven't yet I NEED it to be renewed!! #also you're allowed to hit me cos I worked on this instead of working on my final #dead boy detectives #dead boy detectives fanart #edwin and charles #painland #chedwin #DBD #my art #fanart #digital art #ghosts #my fanart #illustration

[transmascissues]

it’s so funny to me that people used to try to warn me “if you go on t it won’t make you androgynous it’ll just make you look like a man” because 1) i do want to look like a man, that is famously a major part of being a trans man but also 2) t literally has made me androgynous?? like they were wrong on both counts. i got most of the looking-like-a-man changes that i wanted (deep voice, broader body, hair all over my body including my face) and i also give every single cis person in a five mile radius a stroke every time they try to figure out my gender. the assumption that trans men wouldn’t actually want to look like men and the assumption that cis people are good at correctly gendering us once we’re on t are both weird as hell.

#people said this to me all the fucking time pre t #to the point that it did almost make me too afraid to go on t bc ‘what if they’re right and i don’t really want to look like a man?’ #but it turns out that was bullshit on so many levels #i look ‘like a man’ now and love it and also am the most androgynous person most cis people i meet have ever seen #y’all just don’t know how t works at fucking all #transandrophobia #transandromisia #transmisandry #virilmisia #virilphobia #anti transmasculinity #transmascphobia #trans men #transmascs

[cultofthorns]

seeing all the 7-s maid outfit fan art but no love for what’s truly sexier

#ultrakill #v1 ultrakill #i love men in uniform (blue collar workers) #this is an extremely late 7-s drawing i have just been freed from the college finals mines #also meant to be related to the gabriel cashier art they work at the same supermarket #1k

[crocsandbitches]

Not to get overly sentimental but rap beef is honestly such a creative form of expression. Like we’re going to hold off on kicking the shit out of each other and calling up shooters to make clever rhymes about each other and get the common man saying words like ‘double entendre.’

Here’s a couple of suggestions of other diss tracks to listen to if you’ve found you’ve liked bitchy poetry:

Ether - Nas (2001) - diss track vs Jay Z & widely considered to be one of the best diss tracks ever released. It’s a response to Jay Z’s diss ‘Takeover’ which at the time of its release left people thinking Nas’ career was over and then Nas uno reversed that shit with Ether and it’s still considered to be a miracle that Jay Z managed to maintain his fame.

Hit ‘em up - 2Pac (1996) -diss track vs Biggie & Bad Boy records. Part of the East Coast / West Coast beef. 2Pac was shot 5 times and survived and Biggie released a song called ‘Who Shot Ya.’ Hit em up is Pac’s response and it’s iconic. Plus the tune is groovy as shit.

Real Muthaphuckkin’ G’s - Eazy E (1993) - Dr Dre left his group NWA over a dispute about contracts/pay. He later released a song called ‘Fuck with Dre Day’ where he had a go at Eazy E (the lead rapper of NWA). Eazy released this in response and it’s another groovy, west coast banger.

Story of Adidon- Pusha T (2018) - Pusha T walked so Kendrick Lamar could run. Need I say more.

No Vaseline - Ice Cube (1991) - vs remaining members of NWA. Cube was the first to leave NWA over contracts/pay disputes. The remaining members released an album, with subtle disses against him. Ice Cube, as Ice Cube does, got pissed.

Life’s on the Line - 50 Cent (2003) - adding this because 50 Cent hates as easily as he breathes and it’s something to marvel at. His beef with Ja Rule started in ‘99 when Ja Rule was robbed by 50’s people and then one thing lead to another and 50 was stabbed and then he was shot 9 times. ‘Time is the best medicine-‘ no. no it’s not. If anything 50 gets angrier through the years. 19 years later 50 bought 200 tickets to Ja Rule’s concert so the front rows were completely empty.

#maybe i’m just being hormonal but what a weirdly wholesome way to channel anger #this beef has resulted in some of Kendrick’s best work since DAMN #‘grown men rap beefing-’ STFU #rap started off with slam poetry this is how the culture was born #kendrick lamar #drake #kendrick vs drake #hip hop #2pac #edited to add no vaseline cuz i don’t even know how i forgot that #thanks person who tagged it

[skellagirl]

more Harvey, bc my brain is only capable of focusing on like three things at any given time

imagining he works out with the ladies at Pierre's place and the farmer is peeking around the corner like 😳

#stardew valley #stardew harvey #sdv harvey #my art #It's About Sweaty Men In Tiny Shorts 🙏 #god I'm trying to unlearn Same Body Syndrome but I've definitely still got WORK to do in that regard #I'll be gone for five days so I won't get to work on my comic anymore and I'm 🥺🥺🥺 about it #but also it's probably good to be forced to take a break lol

[obsob]

once more around the sun!! :3

#mine #cats #happy new year!!! a little late but alas #i didnt like th colours here but now i love them hehehehehheheh #i hope everyone had a good holidays life development for me is i now like ice hockey #in my sports fan era...these greasy sweaty bloody white men...intrigue me #also i got a new diary!! im using th hobonichi cousin in kinda alarmed by it ngl a5 is a lot of space to fill #i tried the hobonichi techo a couple years ago n found it a rlly weird size 2 work in but now.........big page scawwy #im trying not 2 b too insane about it . like relax who cares #if i do cute spreads i will share them :3 #also in th same vein im not setting a book goal this year !! tbh i surpassed my goal last year by a lot and wasnt stressed about it at All #but i get so guilty about not reading sometimes like girl . guilty to who? god? are we catholic now? get a grip #anyway anway im going to toot on my flute and then eat my weight in mac n cheese #love how i had to get a new cork in my flute bc i didnt play for like 10 months n th guy was like play regularly! n i was like yeh will do! #and then did not do that #alas...time escapes me

[beyondskai]

Mumbo with Ren: You absolute fool, why would your redstone be like th- WHY DO YOU HAVE TWO PULSE EXTENDERS????

Mumbo with Zed: This piston extender looks so great🤩, you are doing so good with your contraptions🤗❤️ You've really become a great redstoner, buddy❤️❤️ I'm loving the elevators!!😍😍😍

#hermticraft #mumbo jumbo #zedaph #rendog #hermitblr #I don't know how Tumblr works but I know the funny minecraft men and I wanna talk about them :3

[call-me-maggie13]

I’m bored and the guys at work are being goofy so here’s a list of no context things I’ve heard from The Boys™ recently.

“Call me a fake lesbian but I don’t really like girl in red. Clairo? Love. WILLOW? Besties. Hayley Kiyoko? Lesbian Jesus. But Girl in Red and I don’t really vibe. Sorry.”

“Maybe I’m losing my mind, but I wanna bite that truck.”

“Aye, watch your language.” “Will it do a flip?” “What?” “Watch it’s gunna do a flip!” [flips manager off]

“Have y’all heard about the Zuckerberg V. Musk fight? Okay let’s debate. Kanye or Swift, who would win? Actually. That wouldn’t be fair, Kanye never stood a chance. Okay. Obama or Trump? Fists only, no weapons.”

“Do you ever wonder if grass can feel? Like. What if it screams on a frequency I can’t hear every time I step on it? What if the fresh mowed grass smell is actually grass tears and blood?”

“I know we all agreed, but…”

“If lightning struck me right now, would y’all try to save me?”

“Sometimes I’m like ‘Hozier is a god.’ And sometimes I’m like ‘Hozier is just some guy.’”

“Someone threw away a black American Express card. Can I keep it? It’s not expired.”

“I’m not allowed to set off fireworks anymore. It’s not my fault I didn’t know they were actual explosions that could burn a house down. No, this wasn’t when I was a kid, this was like three months ago.”

“What do you think the sky tastes like?”

“When I was twelve, my mom hit me with her car backing out of the driveway and she didn’t even take me to the hospital. I think I broke my arm and I’m pretty sure that’s why my wrist does this. [shows wrist making clicking noise when he rolls it]”

“Okay. But. What if. Nope wait, I think that’s illegal.”

“God customers are stupid. Are you closed?? No lady, the sign says we’re closed because we’re open. It makes me want to eat a car battery.”

“If you could only eat one bug for the rest of your life, what would it be?”

“What are y’all’s opinions on potato flavored chewing gum?”

“Can I start bringing my dog to work?”

“Can I break this? I know it’s already broken, I want to break it more.”

“I’m a simple man. I like when things go boom. That doesn’t mean I started the fire.”

“Sometimes I like to take a bath and pretend I’m a little potato getting boiled to make some mashed potatoes.”

“Why can’t I be a duck? Why do I have to be a person?”

“But if I just punch him in the face, I don’t have to worry about him being mean anymore.”

“Maggie. Maggie. Maggie. Maggie. Maggie. Maggie. Maggie. Mag - okay I’m bored now.”

“If I was a rock, I think I’d be a big blue smooth shiny rock. What rock would you be?”

“I have an announcement to make. Stalactites and stalagmites. That is all. Carry on.”

“Sorry, was that gay?”

“I think being an adult is all about being nice to yourself. And taxes, maybe.”

“Why does the dirt over here taste saltier than the dirt by the flowers?”

“No. If I’m not asking him about Taylor Swift, what makes you think I’d ask him about Gracie Abrams?”

“Can I make a list of everyone’s red flags?” “Only if you list their green flags too.”

“I had to change your contact name to Charles. I don’t know why Charles, I just panicked and picked the first name I could think of.”

“Sometimes I forget she’s your mom.” “She’s not my mom. Do you think she’s my mom?” “Not anymore.”

“God. Everyone wants to be Donna but no one wants to be Rachel. No one is Donna except Donna. Everyone else is Rachel. Or they’re Harold.” (Someone please tell me what this means, I have no idea what he’s talking about)

“Why do crickets taste like that?”

“Oh to be a silly little horse in a silly little field being taken care of by a silly little person I could crush like a bug beneath my silly little hooves.”

“Tell me more, tell me more, like does he have a car?”

“The world went to hell when autopsies started testing for poison. Women just can’t poison their husbands anymore. That was the true beginning of the downfall of society.”

“What happens if someone asks to take their motorcycle through the carwash?”

“You don’t have to file customer complaints if you eat the paper they’re written on.”

“And if I said I still haven’t forgiven John Wilkes Booth, what would you say?”

“I don’t say this lightly, but the Pedro Pascual edits on tiktok have confused me sexually.”

“I just pulled a dead bird out of some guy’s grill. Anyone hungry?”

“Taylor Swift might have forgiven him but that doesn’t mean I have to!”

“Why aren’t we allowed to have a company pet? Firefighters get Dalmatians, we should be allowed like. A fish or something.”

“I dreamt that I came to work yesterday and worked an entire shift, is there any way I can get that added to my pay?”

“My girlfriend is mad at me because I keep playing I’m Just Ken and telling her she’s Kenough.”

“Can we close early on October the thirteenth? Oh, no reason… On a completely unrelated note: what should I wear to the Eras Tour movie?”

“If my grandmother confessed to murdering my grandfather but it happened in like the eighties, do I have to report it? Hypothetically, of course.”

“Sometimes a man just needs to cry to mirrorball and tolerate it in his car. Sometimes he just needs to scream Death by A Thousand Cuts. Sometimes…”

“I accidentally just called a customer Mom and she gave me her phone number, what do I do?”

“It’s only blasphemy if you get caught. Do you really think God has time to listen to everything every single person says?”

“Sometimes I wish I was a woman but then I remember this is America and I thank the stars that I’m not. Sorry, Maggie.”

“Why is it so hard to find a stupidly rich woman searching for a trophy husband?”

“Do you think I could walk through the carwash instead of taking a shower?”

[after a guy’s day off] “I missed you guys yesterday. I wish I never had to leave.”

“My sister told me I was adopted and my mom got mad because she wasn’t supposed to but like. My parents are white. I’m black. I already knew.”

“I just had a child quote Revelations at me because I told him he shouldn’t drink the glass cleaner.”

“I forgot my shoes. Also, I just stepped in glass in the parking lot, someone should really clean that up.”

“I think everyone should be allowed to kill someone if they have a really good reason. I would kill the guy that called my sister a bitch because she didn’t want to sleep with him. Who would you kill?”

“Is… is that… not… normal?” [hint: it was not.]

“I stand with Sansa - I mean Sophie Turner.”

“I still don’t understand why I’m not allowed to punch customers in the mouth for being assholes to Maggie and Dru.”

“What kind of tree do you think I am?”

“Apparently I was supposed to listen to the new Olivia Rodrigo album with my girlfriend and now she’s upset with me for listening to it with y’all first.”

“Every night, I go to sleep and every morning, I wake up. How do I stop this cycle?”

#I work with men #boys at work #the guys #boys will be boys #boys will be bugs #boys will be Barbie #these guys #they’re so silly #my boss has also started calling me Magnolia River Blossom when I fuck up #that is not fun #I swear they all share half of a brain cell #I swear I never know what they’re going to say #I love my job #barbie 2023 #barbie movie #barbie #Taylor swift #taylor swift eras #eras Taylor swift #guts olivia rodrigo #olivia rodrigo

[cookiepie111]

Men who slip a wedding ring on your finger while they're fucking you dumb. You're as married in his mind now

Tag your favourite fictional man

#yandere könig x reader #yandere x reader #male yandere x reader #könig x reader #ghost x reader #i think this could work really well for older men #cod x reader #x black reader #anime x reader #yandere ghost x reader #yandere ghost #crocodile x reader

[lazycranberrydoodles]

you’d think after 800 years he’d learn his lesson about taking afternoon naps. / prev comic / follow for more sleepy xie lian

#i think xie lian and hua cheng are sleep deprived for different reasons. xie lian does get sleepy at like 10pm #but prayers will often keep him up past then. or he’ll get up at 4 for similar reasons #hua cheng doesn’t need to sleep. he would never pass up an opportunity to cuddle but when xie lian isnt there #you can BET he’s working on a new sculpture for 8 hours straight #or reading. or managing his city. or painting. or taking care of black water’s fish. or any of the other 8 million things he excells at #i think they’d try to minimize the times they sleep apart though….. theyve both been alone for so long :( #i am a BIG believer in hualian naps. what a luxury yknow?? when youre touch starved and busy all the time?? i want these men COMFY #ALSO TUMBLR DESATURATED THIS TO HELL GRRRR IT HAD SUCH A NICE GOLDEN HOUR EFFECT #tgcf #art #comic #tian guan ci fu #hualian #xie lian #hua cheng #san lang #hob #heaven official's blessing #tgcf fanart #天官赐福 #mxtx #my art #lmao #tgcf meme

[lotus-pear]

bsd rewatch w my friend means obligatory art of my fav found family ever

#WAAAAAAAAAUUUUGHHHHHHHH I MISS THEM SO FUCKING MUCH YOU GUYS GENUINELY DON'T UNDERSTAND.............................................. #LIKE. NOT A DAY GOES BY WHERE I DONT THINK ABT THEM UEUUEUEUEUEUEUUEUEUEUEUEUEUEUUEUEUEUEUEUEUEUEUEUUEUEUEUEUEUE😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭 #bro i didn't mean to make atsushi that short LMFAO it's ok tho bc he's their little boy. their son #literally was in the trenches drawing kunikida bc i've been drawing twinks for so long i forgot how to draw actual MEN😭😭 #when will my family return from the war..................................................................... #rewatching bsd made me realize its just a rly shitty slice of life romcom featuring ml dazai and his tired work partner/husband #and the story of how they got their first kid. sopping wet pathetic kitten of a boy they picked up off the riverbank #anyway theyre all so dear to me you don't understandddddd i love these dumbass partners and their little tiger boy :(((((((((((((( #bungou stray dogs #bungo stray dogs #bsd #atsushi nakajima #nakajima atsushi #doppo kunikida #kunikida doppo #osamu dazai #dazai osamu #kunikidazai #knkdz #lotus draws

[pyralart]

I've always thought he acted like a child...

Also killing him isn't enough, I want to see him break down and cry.

I made a part two!

#pyralart #the owl house #toh #the owl house spoilers #emperor belos #philip wittebane #toh watching and dreaming #toh fanart #watching and dreaming #child belos #owl house fanart #I like thinking of different ways it could have gone #they probably didn't want to dig too deep in his story since casual watchers wouldn't have understood #but man I wanted him to realize something at least #If he wanted to be pathetic that'd have worked great #men will do anything (genocide) rather than go to therapy #anyway enough rambling thanks for reading and looking at my art!

[thehealingsystem]

It's so wild to me that as a community we're still so hostile to multigender and genderfluid people existing in gay and lesbian spaces.

You...are aware that people who are both men and women are allowed to be gay, right? And lesbian? Their other genders doesn't cancel their connection to womanhood, or manhood, or whatever else they id with. They are allowed to be gay despite their fem-alignment, and they are allowed to be lesbian despite their masc-alignment.

It comes from these weird online spaces that the standard to be gay or lesbian is to be a "non-woman" or a "non-man," which is inherently transmultiphobic and...extremely ahistorical. And completely misunderstands nonbinary identity. So if you're both then you just don't belong anywhere I suppose.

#they treat these people as abnormal when really shoving anyone into categories of non-women and non-men is fucking #completely out of touch with how identity works #like i saw a demiboy lesbian flag and the comments are just FILLED with teenage queers getting so mad for no reason #saying shit like im in your walls or your father left you or whatever #please this is so CHILDISH grow UP #multigender #genderfluid #gay #lesbian #lesboy #turigirl #queer #lgbtq #just a he/they transmasc nonbinary boydyke lesbian VERY tired of this nonsense #actually erasure of multigender experience and that one of our genders will cancel out the other #made me very resistant to the fact that i may still be connected to feminity and girlhood #even though i am undoubtedly am #transmultiphobia

[immonanotlisa]

manifesting titties in my dms manifesting titties in my dms manifesting titties in my dms manifesting tiddies in my dms manifesting tiddies in my—

#wlw blog #wlw mood #wlw post #wlw smut #men and minors dni #moanformona #nsft wlw #queer nsft #wlw #wlw ns/fw #femme ns/fw #femme nsft #femme #sapphic ns/fw #sapphic #sapphic nsft #sapphic smut #femme sub #i hope this works #wlw and nblw only