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is0gild · 4 years

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Ice Cream and Fire Oven Pizza - Chapter 24

Pairing: Elsa x Lea/Axel || Side Pairing: Riku x OC

Summary: Modern AU. She's an introvert ball of nerves who works at Ice Palace, a mall food court ice cream shop. He's the outgoing, sassy goofball who works at the Pizza Planet across the way. Hilarity, snark, and fluffy romcom hijinks ensue.

Word Count: 7,564

FIRST CHAPTER || PREVIOUS CHAPTER || NEXT CHAPTER

Credit for super friggin’ cute and super friggin’ amazing cover art goes to the super friggin’ talented ky-jane here on tumblr!

When I awoke, Mother was gone. It made sense, seeing as how daylight was streaming in through the bedroom window now and I could hardly have expected her to stay all night with me. She'd probably left not too long after I'd nodded off.

Part of me wondered if she had ever really been there in the first place or if I had simply dreamed the whole thing up. It'd all just been so weird. Mother hadn't been that… well, motherly towards me in over a decade. It was a long lost part of our relationship that I'd dearly missed, so I wouldn't have put it past my subconscious mind to cook something like that up while I was dreaming especially now that I was back in my childhood bedroom where such old memories could be sparked. But no, I was still in my dress I'd worn for dinner yesterday evening and I wouldn't have gone to bed without changing first, not unless Mother had actually been here.

But that still begged the question: why her sudden and unexpected change in behavior after all this time?

Maybe… it had something to do with the wedding? Maybe me running out on it and disappearing for weeks without a word had taken its toll on her even more so than I'd ever realized? If so, then her little visit last night had probably just been a… a moment of weakness, and a fleeting one at that. Why else would she have waited until we were away from Father's and Grandfather's prying eyes? Once we were back around them, not to mention the rest of the family, her usual mask would probably be firmly back in place again. She would be prim and proper, cold and reserved, just like she'd been for years now and it would be like those precious few moments last night had never happened.

...or maybe I was being overly pessimistic. Maybe now I had an ally in Mother where I'd previously thought to have had none. Maybe The Talk™ tomorrow wouldn't be as bad as I feared, not if I had her and Anna on my side.

But honestly, who knew? Who ever knew anything really when it came to my family? I certainly didn't. Not anymore. Not for a long time.

All I could do was wait and see and hope the anxiety didn't murder me in the meantime.

I climbed out of bed, grimacing at my reflection in the vanity mirror, at what a rumpled mess my dress had become overnight. This was the second time this week I'd slept in a garment that wasn't meant to be slept in. This was dangerously on the verge of forming into a habit. I really needed to stop. Sighing, I started walking towards my luggage so I could dig out something fresh to wear. However, I was halted in my tracks by a knock at my door.

I hesitated in answering it, giving my appearance another once over in the mirror.

This time, my reflection responded with a wrinkle of her nose.

Ugh, everyone's a critic.

Ah well, there was nothing for it. No amount of hand smoothing would make this dress fit to be seen and I wasn't about to make whoever it was wait for me to change. Tossing my frazzled braid back over my shoulder, I moved towards the door and opened it just wide enough for me to poke a head out.

"Mornin', El!" Lea beamed down at me, looking far more presentable than I on day two of his whole rebel-without-a-cause aesthetic he had going on.

I smiled back with a soft, "Good morning."

Dipping into a bow, he swept a hand out to one side, "I've come to escort thee to breakfast forthwith, m'lady."

"My my, we'll make a gentleman out of you yet," I hummed a chuckle.

He scoffed with a big theatrical sniff. "My word, I say, perish the fucking thought!"

"Shoot, you were this close," I snorted with a shake of my head. "Just give me a quick minute to change."

Before I could shut the door however, he stopped me with his hand lightly snagging mine. "But why? You already look as gorgeous as ever this morning."

I stubbornly ignored the tiny flutter I felt inside my ribcage. Didn't he realize it was a bit silly to be pulling the whole googly-eyed boyfriend routine when it was just the two of us? Maybe he was just getting into character early before we went down into the dining room. I rolled my eyes, "Oh yeah, gorgeous enough to make Mother pale, Father choke, and Grandfather faint."

Smirking, Lea said, "All I'm hearing are a ton of pros and a whole lotta nada for the cons column."

My eyelids drooped but before I could reply, there was a sudden shout from down the hall, "Ah-ha! There you are!" A blur zoomed towards us, attaching itself to Lea's arm.

Or rather, herself, seeing as how it was Anna.

So… the prodigal sister had at last graced me with her presence.

"I thought I might find you here," she grinned up at Lea, who just blinked down at her in response. Then she directed that grin my way, "Hi, Sis! Bye, Sis! Alright, big guy, let's go!" She charged off once more, dragging Lea with her. Or rather… she tried to anyway. But I imagine Lea could be quite the anchor when he didn't want to move, so instead the hold she had on his elbow ended up snapping her back like a rubberband.

I quirked an eyebrow at her. "What's the rush, Anna?"

"Yeah, short stuff, where's the fire?" Lea asked.

"We gotta get you ready!" Again, she gave another tug of his arm.

Again, he didn't budge. "For…?"

"For a beautiful day out on the water," she stated as if it were obvious. We both stared at her blankly and she huffed. "We're going yachting!"

Both eyebrows shot up Lea's forehead. "We? As in you and me?"

"And Elsa," she added, stomping over to Lea's other side and pressing her shoulder into his arm, trying to shove him into moving. It was kind of like watching a chihuahua attempt to out muscle a great dane. Just as effective too. Panting from the exertion, she tacked on, "And Maren and Ryder too."

"Oh, okay," Lea nodded, then frowned. "...and Maren and Ryder would be?"

"Our cousins," I said before furrowing my brow at Anna. "Wait, they're here? Since when?"

"Since an hour ago," she grunted, still pushing all her weight against Lea and getting nowhere, her feet sliding and scraping against the carpet. "Auntie Yelena showed up early with them. Now Mom and Dad want to shoo us young'uns out of the house so we won't be in the way while this whole place is turned upside down by party prep chaos. So," she paused, red-faced and puffing for breath before brightening, "figured we could take Daddy's yacht out for a lil spin!"

Lea cocked his head, "Still don't get why you're trying t- oof, hey now!" David (aka Anna) had managed to catch Goliath (aka Lea) off guard by ramming her shoulder into his side, forcing him to stagger a step. "-why you're trynta kidnap me," he finished in a grumble.

Stepping back from him, she crossed her arms and fixed him with a dull stare. "...did you pack swim shorts?"

"Well no, but I didn't know we were gonna-"

"Exactly!" she cried triumphantly, latching onto his elbow once more. "So we're gonna go borrow you some from Ryder!"

"You coulda just said that in the firs-" his words were swallowed in a yelp as she suddenly bolted, this time managing to haul Lea tripping and stumbling behind her.

"Be ready to go in fifteen minutes, Sis! Meet us in the driveway! See ya there!" Anna's voice echoed down the corridor back towards me in their wake.

I called after her, "But breakfast-"

"We'll pick something up on the way!"

...she was still acting so very strange.

Sure, she was always a ball of energy, but normally she'd let me talk more than that before making a break for it. It'd almost felt like she couldn't get away from me fast enough. I knew she'd been in a hurry, but getting Lea seaworthy hardly called for the state of emergency she was making it out to be.

Now more than ever, I was determined to get to the bottom of her odd behavior. Luckily for me, Anna had slipped up and made the error of trapping us on a boat together for the next several hours. And even if said boat was a yacht, there still weren't exactly a lot of places for her to hide from me on it.

She couldn't possibly keep avoiding me there.

My mistake.

Anna very well could keep avoiding me here and in fact had been doing so successfully for the past hour. It was not a matter of whether or not she had places to hide so much as she just never seemed to stay still for more than ten seconds. She'd always kind of been the cartoon Tasmanian Devil given human form, but now she was that on friggin' steroids. Just a constant whirl of chaos that was always on the move.

"I'm flying, Jack!"

Then, of course, there was the fact that I had to put up with this dork.

I hung my head with a sigh from my position behind Lea, my hands gingerly holding his hips as he stood proudly at the bow of the yacht with his arms spread out wide to either side of him. "You know, this wasn't exactly what I had pictured when you said you wanted to reenact that one scene from Titanic."

He glanced over his shoulder at me with a toothy grin. "You wanna swapsies? I can let you be Rose for a bit!"

"...I'm good, thanks."

"Suit yourself! You're seriously missing out though," he shrugged, stepping down off the raised rim of the boat and onto the cushioned bench seating, using it like a staircase to get himself to the floor. The salty breeze played with his shirt on his way down - a very loose short-sleeved button-up that only had one button fastened in the middle, so peeks at his muscled torso were not uncommon and could be rather, hrm… distracting. The swim trunks he'd borrowed from my cousin were just shy of his knees and were a deep red with black silhouettes like palm trees at sunset.

His flip-flops hit the deck and he spun around, offering me a hand to help me down as well. Smiling my thanks, I gripped the wide brim of my beach hat with one hand while the other took his. My strappy sandals landed on the hardwood beside him, careful not to step on the hem of my long, strapless cover-up dress made of a thin, billowy white fabric that barely hinted at the blue two-piece I wore underneath it. It was a beachwear ensemble I'd left behind at my parents' home years ago. A good thing too since like Lea, I hadn't exactly planned for a yacht outing when packing my bags for this weekend.

"So," Lea chirped as he released my hand, "now that we've gotten that important and thoroughly pressing bit o' business outta the way, what's next on our lil agenda?"

My lips pursed to one side before I decided, "Let's try and find Anna."

Though there was really no try about it. Finding her wasn't the hard part. Getting her to stay and actually talk to me was. Still, I was on a mission!

Mission Make Anna Open Up About Whatever The Heck Her Problem With Me Is.

...I really needed to get better at naming these things.

As I turned to give a quick glance around the yacht, first person I spotted was Maren - short for Honeymaren, but she hated the name with a bloody passion and did her best to bury that info in the hopes that it would never again see the light of day. She stood not far off next to the ship's mini bar under the shade of the awning. Her dark hair was pulled back into a braid and she was sporting a purple swimsuit with a matching sarong.

The thing that stood out most however were the cheap, plastic star-shaped sunglasses currently perched on the bridge of her nose. They were particularly eye catching given that, one, she hadn't had them on a moment ago and, two, they were probably just about the last things one would expect to see her wearing. She seemed just as surprised to discover them on her face as I was, given the way she removed and squinted at them with a bemused smirk.

I could hear Lea's flip-flopping footsteps following behind me as I walked towards her. Arching an eyebrow, I pointed at the things, "Where'd those come from?"

"Ask Lil Miss Sunglasses Fairy over there," she laughed, popping them back on before jerking a thumb over her shoulder towards the helm. There Ryder stood manning the steering wheel in his yellow, turtle-print trunks, the sunlight gleaming off his short black hair. It looked like he too had recently received a visit from this so-called Sunglasses Fairy, for he was now (quite bewilderedly) modeling a pair of shades with big, cartoony red lips for frames.

Ah, and here the Sunglasses Fairy herself came now, her auburn pigtail braids flapping wildly about as she skipped towards us in her bright green bikini and boyshorts. Not to be left out of the latest fashion trend of her own making, Anna had on a pair herself shaped like flowers. And in her hands were-

"For you, oh dearest Sis of mine, I've saved the best for last!" she happily declared, sliding the shades with neon pink heart lenses onto my nose.

Joy.

Lea looked down at me and snerked, biting back a grin.

Boy didn't know how close he was to getting his arm pinched for such impudence.

Anna gave a small pout, "Sorry, Lea, but I only have four."

"No problemo. El and I can just share," he chuckled, stealing mine and donning them himself, waggling his eyebrows at me as he leaned back and propped his elbows against the boat railing.

Ugh, I wasn't sure what was more annoying: that he actually looked pretty good in them or the fact that he knew it and was being smug about it.

"Charming," I deadpanned before looking back at Anna. "Where'd you even get these silly things from?"

"Oh, I bought them all ages ago from one of those shack shops by the dock," she tossed a hand back towards the shoreline. "I've been keeping them hidden away for a special occasion."

My head tipped to one side. "...and that special occasion would be?"

She tapped a finger to her chin, "Hmm… Ah! National Fun In The Sun Day, of course!"

I gave her a flat look. "That is neither national nor an actual holiday."

"Is too!" Her chest puffed up as she planted her fists on her hips, "I'm the captain of this here dinghy and what the captain says, goes!"

"You can't just make up holidays, that's not how captains work," I crossed my arms.

"Yeah-huh! I'm the captain and I say so!"

"But-" I stopped myself, pinching the bridge of my nose. Just let it go, Elsa, otherwise we'll just keep going around in circles like this all day. "Nevermind. I was hoping, Captain, that maybe you and I could have a minute to-"

"Move over, Ryder! It's my turn to steer!"

Annnnd off she zipped again.

I had half a mind to chase after her but with the way things were going, I feared she might swan dive off the side of the yacht just to get away from me.

"What's wrong, El?" Lea frowned before taking off the heart shades and offering them to me. "Want these back? I hear rose-colored glasses make everything better."

I mustered a weak smile at that, arms hugging myself as I leaned back against the metal rail beside him and muttered, "Thanks but no thanks."

Perching the sunglasses atop his head now, he asked, "Seriously, why the long face?"

"...it's Anna," I grimaced, reaching for a tendril of my ponytail to twist between my fingers as I watched Ryder join his sister at the mini bar. They were just barely out of earshot so I couldn't hear whatever they were laughing and shaking their heads over. "She's mad at me or… something, I don't know. All I know is she won't talk to me, not really. Every time I try, something always comes up and she runs off."

Lea glanced towards where Anna stood valiantly at the helm, one hand holding the steering wheel steady while the other shielded her eyes against the sun. "Huh… now that ya mention it, it does seem like she's been avoiding you, doesn't it?"

"You've noticed it too?" So it wasn't all just in my head. Not sure if that made me feel better or worse.

"Maybe a lil," he nodded. Pushing himself off the rail, he turned to stand in front of me now. "But mad? Nah, I don't think so. She seems far too chipper for that." Lea rubbed a curled finger to his chin, "Maybe she's actually sad about something but doesn't wanna worry you so is just… trying to put on a brave front? Or she could have something important she wants to talk to you about but is too scared?"

"But that's ridiculous, Anna knows she can always talk to me about anyth-"

"Hard to starboard!" came a sudden shout from my sister before she jerked the wheel into a spin.

The yacht whipped around in a sharp turn, throwing Lea into a stumble towards me. I gasped, bringing up a hand to stop him while turning my head away and squeezing my eyes shut, waiting for impact.

But it never came.

Cracking open one eyelid then the other, I discovered he'd managed to catch himself by grabbing the railing to either side of me.

"Whew!" he grinned, looming mere inches over me, "That was close!"

...wait… my hand was still raised… and touching… something…

I slowly, reluctantly lowered my gaze towards it.

Only to have my face all but burst into flames and practically blast steam out of my ears.

For behold! There, my hand, in all its brazen glory, had found its way into Lea's unbuttoned shirt and that was without a doubt a big, heaping helping of man boob it was groping right now.

...very nice, delightfully sculpted man boob. Firm yet… soft, somehow? No, soft wasn't the right word… ah, supple! Yes, that was what I-

Now was not the time to be debating word choice!

Not while my friggin' hand was still on his bare friggin' chest.

Gah, what was wrong with me?! I really needed to stop sexually harassing the guy who had zero interest in dating at the moment!

Okay, remain calm, Elsa. Maybe he hasn't even noticed it yet. Maybe if I just discreetly removed it, he'd never even have to know it'd been there in the first place. Alright, easy does it… careful now, just take it one small step at a time… first lift the palm off… okay, good! Now the thumb… perfect. And up goes the pinky… then the next one… and the next… just the index finger to go-

Oh. My. God. Did I just goddamn trail my fingertip down his skin?! Pretty sure I'd trailed it. No, not trailed, I'd caressed! Caressed! Great. Just dandy! If he hadn't realized where my hand was before, he sure as hell knew now!

My eyes shifted about desperately.

Oh, this was uncomfortable. Quick! Do something to make it less awkward!

I looked him dead in the eye, brought up my hand and poked him in the nose with a tiny, "Boop!"

Nailed it.

Lea blinked. Then he gave a little snort, one corner of his lips curling up. "What was that?"

A clever and artful distraction, duh. One that was clearly working too, so ha!

"What do you mean, what was that?" I mumbled, hitching my chin and averting my gaze. "It was a nose boop, what else?"

His grin twitched wider. "Well, yeah, I could see that. What I meant was why?"

I couldn't help but notice he was still really close. That he still hadn't let go of the railing yet, keeping me trapped between his body and it. Clearing my throat, I said defensively, "You just have a very… boopable nose, is all."

"...is that so?" he murmured, eyes crinkling as he pressed his forehead to mine.

Dear lord, his rent-a-boyfriend act would be the death of me.

"Yo! Elsa!"

Thank goodness! Cousins to the rescue!

Closing his eyes, Lea exhaled softly before spinning around and shifting over to rest back against the steel rails beside me once more just as the two of them approached us. "Is it true?" Ryder asked excitedly, eyes bright behind the lip-glasses he'd yet to take off as he stirred his mimosa. "Do you really sell mall ice cream now?"

I winced slightly. "Oh… you know about that?"

"Avast ye landlubbers!" Anna's voice rang out again as she continued to pilot the yacht. "Weigh anchor and hoist the mizzen!"

"You kidding?" Maren snerked, taking a sip of her bloody mary and ignoring my sister. "Once the Duke found out, the whole family found out. You know how that old coot loves to run his mouth to anyone who'll listen."

"So it is true!" Ryder beamed. "At an Ice Palace, right? The place with that kickass reindeer mascot?"

"Um…" I furrowed my brow. He seemed oddly enthusiastic about this. "...yes?"

He pumped a fist, "Awesome! Love the place! Their ice cream is so good and all their commercials are hilarious! Have you seen their new one with all the reindeer singing a frigging rock ballad?"

Even with the star-shades, Maren's eye roll was plain as day. "You and your strange obsession with reindeer."

"What? They're cute!"

"Whatever, I just can't with you right now," she held up a hand in his face as she took a sip from her drink, looking at me again. "Seriously though, you ran out on your wedding, on your whole sweet cushy life… just so you could sell ice cream?"

"Land ho! Thar she blows!" Anna again.

Holding onto my hat so it wouldn't blow away as the wind picked up, I frowned. "Well… that wasn't exactly why I left…"

"But that's what you did," she insisted, eyebrows lifting with her tiny grin. "Do you even know about all the chaos that erupted after you turned up missing?"

I swallowed hard. I could feel Lea's fingers fiddling with a lock of my ponytail, but I hardly noticed it as I bit down on my bottom lip and shook my head. "Was it bad?"

"Aw man, the whole place went nuts after you pulled your vanishing act! You shoulda been there!" Ryder laughed before squinting skyward. "Although… I guess if you had been there, none of it would have happened." He shrugged, taking a big swig of his mimosa. "Anyway, it was wild! Our family was yelling, his family was yelling, a flower girl was bawling, the giant ice swan sculpture got knocked over and shattered into a bajillion pieces, a bridesmaid punched a groomsman, the-"

"Wait," I interrupted him, my eyebrows knit together as my gaze shifted over to Maren. Besides Anna, who'd been my maid of honor… "Weren't you my only bridesmaid?"

She smirked, lazily lifting a shoulder before letting it fall. "What can I say? I live for anarchy."

"Batten down the hatches! Swab the deck or it's straight to Davy Jones' locker with the lot of you!" It seemed Anna was really getting into character now.

"The butterflies," Ryder eagerly jumped back into the conversation right where he'd left off, "were released on accident at the same time the doves somehow got free as well and, oh man, the carnage! It was epic!"

My hands were fidgeting with each other. I had no idea when they'd started. My chest was beginning to burn and constrict.

"I still can't believe it," Maren wrinkled her nose in glee, chewing on her straw. "You ditching a guy at the altar. You, of all people. You've always been such a goody-goody. So well-behaved, so polite, so disgustingly perfect. Just goes to show you, I guess… it's always the sweet, innocent, quiet ones who'll surprise you."

Fidget, fidget, fidget.

It was getting harder to breathe.

"A total bloodbath!" Ryder was still going. "I mean, did you even know doves ate butterflies? Cuz I didn't! But those poor little guys never even stood a chance! Tiny insect guts were flying everywhere! Seriously... Best. Wedding. Ever."

"Heh-hey!" Lea suddenly piped up. "Are all these swimsuits just for show or we gonna," he clicked his tongue, jerking a thumb towards the water, "dive on in?"

He was taking the attention off me. I shot him a grateful if somewhat shaky smile. His arm slipped around my shoulders, giving them a small, reassuring squeeze as he rested his cheek against my hair.

"Please," Maren sniggered, "like we'd actually swim in the lake."

"Watch and learn, dude," Ryder grinned as he moved over to the plush seating that circled the edge of the ship's bow and pushed a button on a panel behind its backrest. The massive, seemingly decorative circle that was etched into the center of the foredeck began to hum and slide under the rest of the floor, revealing the hot tub underneath. Striking up a finger, Ryder then pushed a second button, this one turning on the jets.

"Ooo," Lea nodded in appreciation, "a jacuzzi that appears as if by magic. My my, how the other half lives." Then he huffed out a snort through his nose, "Leave it to the rich to find a way to take a soak in the middle of a lake without actually having to get in the lake."

Ryder scrunched up his face, "Lake water's gross."

Pointing at the hot tub, Lea said, "You do realize the more people get in that thing, the more it's just a boiling vat of human juices, right?"

"Thanks for that," Maren gave a mock gag before tossing her chin towards the edge of the boat. "What're you waiting for then? Lake's right there and all yours, Stretch."

"No thanks," leaving my side, Lea walked over to the ledge of the jacuzzi to dip a toe in. "Bring on the person stew! 'Sides, not every day I get to hop into a yacht hot tub. Wouldn't wanna miss out."

Setting his now empty glass down, Ryder said, "Not every day you get to steer the yacht either. Whaddya say, my man, want to give it a go?" He pointed towards the helm.

As if on cue, Anna bellowed, "Ready the cannons, ye scallywags, lest we be dead in the water!"

Lea gave me a quick glance and I shrugged. He scratched the back of his head, "Uh… sure! Why not? Be right back, boo!" He planted a swift peck to my forehead before transferring his pink sunglasses back to my nose. "If ya need me, just shoot me the heart-eyes with these and me n' my boopable nose'll come running."

I huffed and shoved his shoulder, "Just try not to crash us into anything." Fighting the upward tug I felt at one side of my mouth, I added more quietly, "Have fun."

"Always do," he winked before turning to follow Ryder towards the stairs that lead to the upper deck.

"Shall we?" Maren then asked, tossing her sarong to the bench as she stepped down into the hot tub.

I hesitated, glancing over my shoulder. Normally, I wasn't self-conscious about being seen in my swimsuit. But then, normally only people who were related to me ever saw me in it. The one exception there of course being my ex, but I'd never been awkward about it in front of him either. I'd never really been… anything about it. But now, oddly the idea of Lea seeing me in my swimsuit, it just… well, I don't know… did weird things to my pulse and made my skin tingle. It wasn't a bad feeling, per se… I wasn't quite sure what it was really.

In any case, the boys looked to be engrossed in a heated debate with Anna currently. It seemed the self-proclaimed captain wasn't quite ready to give up her post at the wheel yet. None of those three were even looking this way.

"...alright," I said at last, slipping out of my cover-up and letting it fall to the deck. Putting my hat down on top of the small pile of fabric as well, I lowered one foot in into the water, followed by the other before hastily taking a seat, letting the bubbling warmth engulf me up to my shoulders.

Stretching and luxuriating in the jacuzzi, Maren's glass dangled between her fingertips as she idly swirled about what was left of her bloody mary inside it. "I can see why you did it."

A crease formed between my eyebrows as I gave her a sideward glance. "Did what?"

"Got the hell outta Dodge before the first note of Here Comes the Bride could even chime out the organ," she smirked, sticking the straw into the corner of her mouth.

My lips pinched. "I thought you'd already established it was to sell ice cream," I grumbled, lifting the sunglasses to sit atop my hair now since the absurd heart lenses were already fogging over from all the steam.

She gave an amused scoff, setting her empty glass down on the rim of the hot tub. "I said that's what you did, but we both know that wasn't why. Not unless ice cream is roughly six foot seven, has green eyes to die for, and is rocking a smokin' hot bod."

"Oh…" I cleared my throat. Was my face turning red? Psh, that was just the jacuzzi. I think heat was cranked up a little too high in here, in fact. Yeah, that had to be it. I laughed nervously, "What can say I? He just, er… stole my heart."

Atta girl, way to sell the lie.

...that... was a lie… right?

What am I saying, of course it was! All I had was a crush. A simple, meaningless crush, nothing more.

Anna had finally retreated to the mini bar where she was sulking as she mixed herself a drink, so Ryder had set Lea up at the wheel, who was nodding at everything he was told. Maren removed her star-shades, gently biting down on one of the earpieces as her eyes drifted towards the helm. I wasn't particularly a fan of that sly little curve to her lips as she watched him. "Mmm, I bet that's not all he stole."

A small, incredulous splutter escaped me. "Maren," I scolded, splashing some water at her.

She snerked. "All I'm saying is I don't blame you. I myself would've given up a Prince Charming fiancé worth his weight in gold and risked any claim to my family fortune, all for one steamy summer fling with that hunky pizza boy over there."

Okay fine, no use denying it anymore. This thing my face was doing? Definitely a blush. "Don't you have a girlfriend?" I muttered, eyes darting about.

"Sure do and she is my world, my moon and my stars, my everything!" she beamed. Then her eyebrows bounced, "Still… doesn't mean I can't admire the view every once and awhile."

"Well stop admiring," I harrumphed, narrowing my gaze down at the frothy water.

"That's adorable! You really do like this one, don't you," she cooed, pinching my cheek. I just rolled my eyes and swat her hand away. "Hope you weren't too attached to your hat, by the way."

"My…?" I blinked. "Why?"

She pointed, "Cuz there it goes."

Sure enough, a gust of wind had come along to scoop it up and carry it off, only to let it plummet once it'd escaped the confines of the yacht.

"Cap overboard!" Ryder called out, cupping a hand to his mouth.

"I'll get it!" Lea grinned, already kicking off his flip-flops. Before any of us could react, he took off running, launching himself up onto the guard rail and diving into the waters below.

I inhaled sharply as I shot up to my feet. "Your boy is crazy!" Ryder was cackling as he steadied the abandoned steering wheel and shut off the ship engine. Maren whooped and clapped while a giggling Anna rushed to the edge, leaning over the metal bars to look for him.

I just hoped that big dummy didn't get knocked unconscious by the rudder cracking his skull open or something! All over a stupid sun hat, no less!

Thankfully, it wasn't long before Anna was throwing up her hands and cheering, which I took to be a good sign as I released the breath I'd been holding. Next thing I knew, Lea came rising up the ladder attached to the side of the boat, wet hair slicked back and the brim of my cap between his teeth so his hands were free for climbing. Clearing the last few rungs, he hopped onto the deck and grabbed the hat out of his mouth, hissing, "Shit, that water's cold! Brr, nearly froze my ass off!"

...or at least, I think he'd said something like that.

It was hard to be sure really. My eardrums seemed to be on the fritz while all my focus now directed itself towards his shirt. His sopping, soaking wet shirt. It was clinging to the chiseled contours of his abs in a way that was rather, ah… fascinating. Not to mention see-through. Yes, very, very much so. It was actually kind of beautiful, in a way. Majestic, really. Quite the sight to behold and-

-and fudge, I was staring.

Staring at him, who was staring at me.

Me, who was still standing in the jacuzzi and flaunting my two-piece like I was the friggin' star of Baywatch.

I sat back down so fast, water splashed over onto the deck behind me. Yes, oh blessed jacuzzi bubbles, cloak me in your warm, protective embrace. Face heated and eyes not quite able to meet his, I stammered out a quick, "Th-thank you."

"Of… of course! Happy to!" Lea said brightly. Huh… was he getting a bit of a sunburn? He started to walk forward with a goofy, lopsided grin, holding the hat out towards me, "Here ya g-"

Apparently misjudging where the ledge of the hot tub was, he stumbled head first into it with us. I jolted in my seat and Maren half shrieked, half laughed as water exploded everywhere. As soon as he resurfaced and was coughing up water, I asked, "Are you okay?!"

"Fine! Nothing bruised 'cept my pride. Wanna smooch it all better?" he snickered, leaning in close and making loud kissy noises. Eyelids drooping, I just put my hand on his face and shoved him away. Still chuckling, he once more offered me my now thoroughly drenched hat. "Believe this is yours, m'lady?"

I hid a smile behind my fingers. "My hero," I said dryly, taking it from him and setting it aside on the hardwood once more. Surely it was too waterlogged at this point to fly off again.

"Yoink," he plucked the heart-shades off me so he could wear them himself once more. "Mind if I join you gals?" he chirped, standing up in the jacuzzi to remove his soggy shirt. I did my best not to ogle him this time.

The same couldn't be said for Maren as she smirked up at him. "Would seem you already have, Slim."

He cocked an eyebrow at her as he took a seat at my side. Then he was bending towards me, muttering in a low voice, "Uh… should I be nervous about the way your cousin is looking at me?"

I snorted, turning and leaning in close so I could return the whisper into his ear, "Ignore her." Lea seemed to give a small shiver, but that wouldn't make sense. It was very hot in this jacuzzi, so I must have been mistaken. "She has a girlfriend."

"Did, uh…" he cleared his throat, "did anyone tell her that?"

"Don't worry. Apparently she's just admiring the view," I said, one corner of my mouth twitching up.

His eyes crinkled behind those pink lenses. "Good. Woulda hated to break her heart otherwise, seeing as how I'm already deliriously happy in a loving, committed relationship with the bewitching creature sitting next to me," he slipped one arm to rest along the edge of the hot tub behind me while taking my hand in his other one so he could bring it up out of the water and press his lips to my knuckles.

Click!

I glanced up at the sound to see Anna crouching down next to the jacuzzi, holding her phone up with the camera pointed towards us. "D'aww, what a great picture! You two are such cuties!" she squealed, looking down at her screen as her fingers swiped across it.

Lea had lowered our hands back down to rest underwater once more, his fingers interweaved with mine now. Which was a little silly, come to think of it, as no one could possibly be seeing us holding hands through all these bubbles. Perhaps he didn't realize that. Then again, I wasn't exactly rushing to take my hand back either.

Anna was still gushing, "Seriously, I'm becoming diabetic from sweetness overload h-"

"Cannonball!"

Maren's head shot up and she snarled, "Ryder, no! This is a hot tub, not a-"

Suddenly a big blur was hitting the water, sending a huge blast of water in all directions for the second time. Anna yelped, shielding her mobile with her body while the rest of us just did our best to block the mini tidal wave with our hands. It was amazing that there was any liquid still left in here with us by now.

"Wahoo!" Ryder cried out as he popped back up, bouncing with his hands high over his head in triumph. It was short lived however as his sister punched him in the gut and he doubled over with a grunt.

"Bonehead!" she scowled at him as she relaxed back into her seat. "You could've broken your dumb neck."

"And my phone!" Anna added as she gave said device a careful lookover.

"Whatever, you're all just jelly cuz you didn't think to do it yourselves first." He fished around in the water for his lip-shades that had fallen off before perching them on his head and taking a seat as he looked to Lea, "Hella cool, am I right? Up top!" He held up his hand. Lea just shrugged and obliged him with a high-five.

Maren sighed and pinched the bridge of her nose. "Boys. Ugh."

Seemingly satisfied that no damage had come to her phone, Anna plopped down onto the ledge of the jacuzzi now and let her feet dangle in the water. "Pic of my fave cousin," she singsonged, snapping a shot of Maren tipping her sunglasses down and holding two fingers up in the peace sign. "And one of my idiot cousin," she deadpanned, pointing it at Ryder now who just crossed his eyes and razzed his tongue at her. Giggling, she then turned the phone camera back towards Lea and me. "I want a couple more of you guys! Go on, smoosh in, you two!"

...who me?

Awkward penguin, nervous wreck, ball of raw friggin' nerves me? "Smoosh" in with a guy? While we were both only in swimsuits and thus at least a good seventy-five percent naked? Smoosh?! I didn't even know how to smoosh! I'd never smooshed a day in my life!

Did my sister know me but at all?

She did remember Lea and I were only pretend dating, right?

I narrowed my gaze one her. "...excuse me?"

"You heard me," she said sweetly, a wicked gleam in her eyes as she tipped her head forward, smirking over those flower-glasses. "Snuggle in, Sis."

Oh-ho, that evil brat knew exactly what she was doing.

Fine. If I gave her this and let her have her fun, maybe she'd finally open up to me about whatever it was that'd been bothering her.

So I scooched an inch over towards Lea.

"Closer," Anna said, staring at her phone screen as she pointed the camera at us again and waved me over with her free hand.

A tiny huff in my throat and another inch over. My knee was brushing against his now.

Anna groaned, "Come on, closer! You two like each other, right?!"

Lea gave a sheepish laugh, scratching his cheek and whispering, "El, forget it, you don't hafta-"

"It's fine," I muttered under my breath, hard eyes still on Anna as I reached over my shoulder and closed my fingers around Lea's wrist resting behind my head there. Hesitating briefly as my face began to warm uncomfortably and the thudding in my ears grew louder, I finally tugged the arm down to wrap around my bare shoulders and leaned into his chest slightly.

"Ugh, closer!"

One of my eyes ticked. "Anna, any closer and I'll be sitting in his lap. Is that what you want?"

She smiled impishly, "I mean, if you think it'll help…"

Lea's hushed voice came to me again, "El, really, this isn't-"

"Lea, really, it's fine," I insisted through grit teeth.

Alright, Anna, you want closer? I'll give you closer, you little...

I twisted in my seat, hugged my arms around his neck and yanked him down, pressing our cheeks together. Not to mention our chests. Our very wet, scantily-to-not-at-all clad chests. But I tried not to think about that part. My cheeks were frying enough as it was already. His whole body went rigid against mine before slowly relaxing as I felt his arms tighten around me. "Here, Anna," I snapped, "take the stupid picture!"

Hold this pose any longer and my heart might just shatter a rib with the way it was thundering.

Still there was no click. She frowned, "Aw, c'mon, Sis, give us a smile! You're in wub, after all!"

...that's it, I was going to throttle her.

"Gotcha covered!" Lea announced. I'd barely even had a chance to register his words before he'd removed his cheek from mine only to replace it with his lips and blow a loud raspberry. All my tension immediately banished and a surprised laugh erupted out of me as I tried to wriggle free, but not before-

Click!

"Perfect!" Anna bit back a grin as she eyed the photo on her phone.

Lea had a cheeky grin of his own that he was shooting my way. Though my eyes glared, my lips smiled as I gave his arm a shove, which did nothing to erase his smug look. Before I could retract my hand however, he'd snatched it up in his so he could lace our fingers together once more. At least this time it was above the water for everyone to see.

Now that that bit of nonsense was over and done with, perhaps Anna would give me a minute to talk to her while she was still distracted by riding her photography high. I saw Maren poking a finger into her brother's cheek as she teased him about something, so our cousins probably wouldn't miss us if we slipped away for a second or two. Sitting up straighter and taking a deep breath, I began, "Anna, perhaps now you and I could have a-"

"Oopsie, looks like I need a refill!" she trilled, swiping up her glass from where it sat on the deck beside her.

I squinted at it. "...it's still mostly full."

"Check again." She downed the whole thing in one big gulp before puffing out a satisfied, "Ha! Be right back!"

Whoosh!

Gone again.

With a long, drawn out sigh, I slouched so low into the jacuzzi now, the foamy surface brushed against my chin. I could see Lea frowning at me out of my peripheral, but he remained quiet, probably just as much at a loss with this whole mystery situation with my sister as I was.

My eyes gradually drifted over to the mini bar where I could see her mixing up some new concoction. However, instead of the upbeat glow she usually had about her, I noticed her shoulders sagging a little. She was worrying her lower lip between her teeth, the corners of her mouth turned down. I couldn't see her eyes behind the sunglasses, but her brow was wrinkled, seemingly lost in thought as she hung her head.

Huh… that didn't look like someone who was mad.

Maybe Lea was right. Maybe there really was something that had her sad or scared.

But what could it possibly be?

And why wouldn't she just tell me?

Author's Note: Yay for some yacht fun! Cuz that's just what rich people do I suppose xD Again, since I'm not sure if all of ya'll have seen Frozen 2, the new characters introduced this chapter (including the briefly mentioned Yelena) were all from that movie as a buncha people called the Northuldra who live in an enchanted forest. Since in F2 it was revealed Elsa's mom was Northuldra, there is a VERY real possibility that Honeymaren and Ryder really are all canonically related to Elsa and Anna in some way, so I figured hey, why not turn them into her cousins in this? Now if only Ryder had gotten to see Kristoff's talking reindeer Sven plushie routine, I think Ryder would have positively exploded with happiness xD Real talk tho, boys and girls... don't pull a Ryder: do NOT cannonball into a jacuzzi.

Alright, we now have Saturday morning out of the way, but still have plenty of The Weekend to go yet! Next chapter, what will the rest of the day hold for Elsa? Will she ever find out what seems to have her baby sis so down? Not to mention Gramps' bday palooza is looming ever nearer on the horizon, what potential new "fun" could that lil party bring? And seriously, how WAS there any water left in that lil hot tub after those couple o' knuckleheads (intentionally or not) crashed hard into that thing? Stay tuned!

Thanks for reading, I super duper appreciate it! And an extra BIG thank you to those of you who’ve liked, reblogged, and followed so far, seeing those lil notifications always brings the biggest, goofiest smile to my face!

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queen-iduna-of-arendelle · 4 years

Text

The Bridge

Part 2 of the ‘Connected by Love’ Series. View part 1 here

AO3 ff.net

Agnarr couldn't believe it happened again...His wife was in danger, again, but this time there's nothing he could do. As soon as he was pushed back by Iduna's magic, the mist was closing around him again and won't let him go to her. “Iduna!”

Except for the echo of his voice, everything was quiet. And since he couldn't do anything right now, he decided to wait and trust in his wife. Then, just a few moments later, he felt wind coming from the deepest parts of Ahtohallan that Iduna vanished into. The wind carried memories of mist with it and let them play out in front of him. And he could also her her singing. But it sounded different this time...desperate.

The memory showed him two men. One of them was King Runeard. The other must the the old leader of the Northuldra. He was kneeling on the ground to drink tea. Then his father came from behind him and pulled his sword. And Agnarr could only stare, horrified, how his father attacked and killed and old and unarmed man.

Agnarr's legs gave in and he fell to the ground, still horrified at the reveal. So they really did attack first...and the dam, that was told to be a gift of friendship...was just a tool to weaken the forest and resources of the Northuldra. To control them. To rule over them. He balled his fists and punched the icy ground. He's really been a naive boy, wasn't he...

Although Agnarr knew that his father wasn't exactly...the best and most kindhearted person ever...he was always so strict and commanding...he never would've thought of him to be so obsessed with power that he'd murder someone in cold blood.

He had to fix this. He had to destroy this dam that was build on false promises...But how was he supposed to get into the forest? The mist was still locking them out. But then he realized that something was still not right. “Iduna?” The memory reached him, and her voice did, too, but where was she? Was she still down there? Agnarr quickly pulled himself up and ran to the direction he last saw her. He could break through the mist, but his hand soon made contact with an icy wall that wasn't there a moment ago. “Iduna!” He screamed at the top of his lungs, desperate to get his wife back somehow. Agnarr already felt the tears threatening to fall. “Iduna!!”

The king banged against the icy wall with his fists, but it wouldn't budge. There was absolutely no reaction to his calls. “Iduna...” He said with a slightly hoarse voice, falling back down on his knees. Now he couldn't stop the tears anymore. If his father was here he'd surely describe it as 'pathetic' and that he was 'crying like a child'. “Please...” Then his head hit the ice. The cold was soothing at first, but it soon turned painful. But he didn't care. “Please...answer me. Please, Iduna...” He sobbed not being able to move now. Even with the biting cold.

And it was way colder down there. What if something happened to her down there? What if she...froze to death? Now some of his sadness was replaced with anger. “Is that how you treat the fifth spirit?!” He yelled at no one in particular. He was yelling at Ahtohallan as if it was a living, thinking creature. Or person. But it wasn't, it was just a cold magical place with memories inside. And Iduna went too far. And was drowned for that. Just like in the lullaby she sang to him.

He should've stopped her. He should've gone down there in her place. It was his fault that she went too far. He was so desperate to find the truth...of course Iduna would sacrifice herself for him. It was all his fault!

Agnarr jumped in surprise when he felt a gentle wind. He looked around, expecting Iduna to stand there and tease him, but she wasn't there. And he didn't feel any wind since they're down here. Except for his wife's magic of course. Then he saw some leaves that were carried inside. That was...weird. But it became even weirder when the wind picked them up again, letting them dance in the air as if a sentient being pushed them around. He could also hear a faint sound. The wind blew in his face, hitting him with the leaves as if he wanted to make him understand. Or punish him?

Then it circled around him, playing with his clothes and ruffling his hair. That was definitely no normal wind. “Are...are you the wind spirit?” He asked and watched the leaved falling down and being picked up multiple times as if saying 'yes'. The spirit gave him hope again. “Can you save Iduna?!” He asked, but only saw how the leaves fell to the ground. They stopped moving. “Hey, are you still here?” He asked and even though he knew he wouldn't be able to see it, he looked around. “Is...is that a no?”

The wind was circling him again, more gentle this time as if the spirit was sad. “I...I think I understand...” Maybe the magic here was greater than anything. “Now what...?” He mumbled, sitting back down at the icy ground. Agnarr wasn't able to leave. Didn't want to leave. Because that meant that he'd leave Iduna behind. And he couldn't do that. There had to be a way to save her, right? But it looked like the wind spirit had other ideas. It began to push him towards the exit. “I'm not leaving!” He yelled at the spirit and tried to fight against the wind. But there was really no way he could do that. The wind just pushed him over the ice as if he weight nothing.

“I can't leave her!” He yelled again, but the spirit didn't listen. It was pushing him all the way to the pit. Then it finally gave him the time to stand up again. “And how should I get over there?” He asked the spirit and immediately got his answer. He felt the wind pushing him further. “Are you insane?! Do you want to kill me?!” He yelled at the spirit again, while holding onto the walls. But the spirit kept pushing, till he lost his grip. And as he was about to fall, the wind caught him and carried him over to the other side. “You...could've told me your plan...” He mumbled, still shocked. Even though the wind spirit couldn't communicate as he did.

Then it kept pushing him up the ice slide, till he was at the top and exactly where they started. “Okay...thank you for helping me out...I guess...” He mumbled the last part, looking back again where he knew Iduna still was. He wanted to go back, but he knew the wind spirit won't let him. So for now he sat down and leaned against a wall. He felt the spirit nearby, urging him to continue, but he didn't have the energy to move now. “Leave me alone.” He mumbled burying his face in his hands and leaning against his bent legs. But the spirit didn't leave, it stayed with him and was more gentle now.

He failed. He failed to protect his wife. Agnarr promised that he'll always protect her, but now she's gone. Instead she protected him, sacrificed herself for him. Now what should he do without her? He was nothing without her. What's a king without his queen?

Then he remembered Mattias' words. He once told her that when you think you figured life out, it throws you into another path. And when that happens, try to move on. Take one step at a time. Do the next right thing. But was he even able to?

Well, he couldn't stay here and die, too. Iduna wouldn't want that. He had to go back to his daughters...But what should he tell them? How should he tell them? For now he should tell Anna the truth about Elsa and her mother...Both had to hide their powers, especially after the incident. He just had to pray that nothing bad will happen when Anna remembers her sister's magic. And then he had no other choice but to rule Arendelle alone...

With that plan in mind, he stood up on weak legs and made his way outside the glacier. He wasn't even feeling the cold anymore. The loss of his wife made him numb. When he reached the shore, Nokk appeared again, staring at him. “Iduna went too far...” He told the water spirit. “I couldn't save her.” The horse looked sad, but then turned around. Agnarr thought he'll vanish in the floods again, but he waited. “Will you bring me back to the ship?” He asked, eying the spirit that was watching him as well and waited patiently.

As he moved, Nokk bent down to help him get on his back easier. And once he settled down, it ran over the Dark Sea. But not where he expected it to run. “Hey, the ship is over there.” Agnarr said, pointing in the other direction, but the spirit won't listen and kept running. Actually it was running straight at the mist that locked everyone out of the Enchanted Forest. He visited the borders once with Iduna, to see if it's still there. It was and it kept pushing them both back. Even Iduna's magic couldn't break through. “Turn around, I can't get through there!”

Nokk kept ignoring him and ran even faster towards the mist. Before he could hit it, the wind spirit blew from behind them and opened a path. At first he couldn't really believe it, but he was actually guided inside by the spirits.

Eventually Nokk stopped at the shore and let him dismount. “Do you know what I planned?” He asked, even though it should be impossible for them to read his mind. The horse didn't answer —of course— but kept looking at him for a while longer, before turning his back to him. “Can you tell the crew on the ship to go back?” Nokk nodded, before vanishing into the water. The wind spirit was still with him and made his presence known by throwing around leaves and playing with his clothes and hair. It was a very curious and playful little spirit. Just like someone else he knew...

Well, now that he was in the forest, he could as well look for the dam. It had to be destroyed. And he'll do it, even if he had to remove every single stone by hand. “Hey, uh...Vinny was your name?” The spirit circled around, pushing leaves up and down. He took that as a yes. “Do you know where the dam is? I really need to get there.” Then the wind circled around him, before pushing him forward. Once he moved the spirit showed him the way, by blowing the leaves away to create a pathway. It was very helpful, too. The spirit reminded him so much of Iduna...

Apparently, the spirit sensed his sadness and began blowing strongly at his face, before pushing him forward again. “I'm going, okay? No need to push.” Then the wind was more gentle again and it felt like it's wrapping around him, as if it's hugging him. The wind was hugging him...That would sound so crazy if he didn't experience it right now. “Are...are you trying to comfort me? Thank you.” Then it blew past him, creating the same path to remind him of his task.

----------------------------

The way to the dam was longer than Agnarr expected. But he did land on the other side of the forest and the dam was on the southern part of it. The sun was already setting when he heard people nearby. He ran over to the voices and and saw Arendellian soldiers! So they were still alive! Agnarr left his cover and approached them. They noticed him immediately, but were too shocked to act. The king looked at all the familiar faces, till he saw his old friend and guard. “Destin, you're alive.” Then he looked at the others and added. “You all are...I can't believe it. You have no idea how relieved I am.”

“Agnarr?” It's really been a long time till he last heard Mattias' voice. He smiled at his friend and nodded. “It is you! Am I seeing things? You see him, too, right?” He asked the other soldiers who nodded. Then the now old man approached him and hugged him. Agnarr hugged him back, but only for a moment as Mattias pulled back again to look at him. “Look at you. I told you to stop growing.”

Agnarr chuckled and rolled his eyes, of course these would be his first words to him. Mattias never really liked to see him grow that much and kept telling him to stop it. And now they're the same height. “It's great to see you again.” Said the blonde, of course referring to everyone around. Then Mattias bowed to him. “Your Majesty.” The others followed suit.

Agnarr rolled his eyes, but Mattias was serious. “Not that I don't appreciate to see you...but what are you doing here?” Then he looked at his clothes thoughtfully. “Judging by your fancy uniform you made it out back then, right? But how did you get inside? Don't tell me the mist finally gone.” The soldiers looked at him hopefully and he hated to tell them the bad news.

“Sorry to crush your hopes, but no. It's...actually a long story...” And he didn't even know where to start.

“Well, if there's something we have plenty of, it's time.” Said Mattias, before putting a hand on his back and guiding them to their camp. “How about we eat something? And then you can tell us everything.”

-------------------------

The soldiers were well adapted here. They've built tents and learned which plants and berries were edible. Some already knew how to hunt before that. And water was there, too. They all sat around the campfire and as they ate some grilled rabbit, Agnarr told them the story. The whole story. How his wife saved him from the battle, her powers, that they eventually married, their daughters and the powers of the oldest, the incident and their adventure in Ahtohallan.

“Wait...So King Runeard started the fight?” Asked one of the soldiers shocked.

“Yes.” Agnarr replied, staring into the fire. “The dam was a trick. He wanted the Northuldra to rely on him. And once the leader noticed something, he decided to kill him.”

Then it was quiet for a while. Agnarr understood that it was hard to believe. He wouldn't believe it either, if he hadn't seen the memory of that moment himself. Everything they've been fighting for was a lie.

“And where is your wife?” Asked Mattias, since he didn't mention her going too far.

Agnarr kept staring into the fire. “She went too far.” Was all he answered, as he already told them about the lullaby. Then a comforting hand was on his shoulder.

“I'm sorry to hear that...” Agnarr just nodded, appreciating the comfort. And that he now had time to really mourn her loss. At least for a little while.

“That's why we have to destroy the dam. It may not make up for everything, but it's a start. This is not an order. It's a request.” Agnarr looked around, the soldiers still tried to make sense of everything he said, till one by one stood up with a determined expression and said they'll help. “Thank you all.” Then he turned to Mattias. “Are there still some Northuldra here? I might need to talk with them, too.”

“Sure. I can bring you to them in the morning. For now you should rest.” The guard patted his shoulder, before leading him to his tent. “Just call me if you need anything.” The blonde nodded and went inside. He only took off his jacket, before lying down. He may be sleepy, but he was sure he won't be sleeping well...

-------------------------------------

“IDUNA!!” Agnarr screamed, reaching out for his wife who's jumping down the cliff, only to realize that he wasn't in Ahtohallan anymore. He was in a makeshift bed, in a tent. In the Enchanted Forest. Sighing loudly, he leaned on his bent leg, head in his hand. Of course he'd dream about it. And he was sure he always will from now on.

First he kept having nightmares about the battle and now came a new one. And one that was even worse, especially now that he found out how his father really was. And this time he didn't have someone who could sing his nightmares away.

He took several deep breaths to calm his racing heart, his hand gripping his hair and pulling enough to make it hurt. Only now did he notice his wet cheeks, the burning in his eyes. He must've been crying in his sleep and it wouldn't stop now.

“King Agnarr, are you okay?” Asked Mattias from outside the tent. Thank god that he was giving him the privacy he needed.

Still, Agnarr quickly wiped away the tears in his eyes before he could answer. “Yes...I just...had a nightmare.”

Then it was quiet for a while. “I'm really sorry about your loss...”

“It's okay. It's okay...” He mumbled, even though it definitely was not okay. Agnarr lost the love of his life. Actually...he lost his life. His light. His everything. He took a few more minutes to calm down, before grabbing his jacket and leaving the tent.

“I would ask if you slept well, but I know you didn't.” Said Mattias who apparently has been guarding his tent till now.

“I didn't.” He confirmed, offering him a tiny smile.

Mattias put a hand on his shoulder to comfort him. “That's quite normal. I've had lots of nightmares these past years, too.”

Agnarr nodded. He, too, dreamed of the battle frequently, but Mattias lost so much more that day. “Can...can we talk about something else?” He mumbled, just wanting to get his mind off this topic for a while.

“Sure. Let's get something to eat and then I'll bring you to the Northuldra, okay?” The guard suggested and only got a nod and a mumbled 'yes' as an answer.

-----------------------------------

“They should be around here somewhere.” Said Mattias, as only he and Agnarr walked through the forest. The other soldiers guarded the camp. “I guess I owe them an apology. We weren't really the best friends during the years here. Actually fought a couple of times. And only because we believed they started the fight.”

“I hope they'll forgive us. Maybe it'll help if they know I'm married to Iduna. Uh...was...” He still couldn't believe that she was gone. Since yesterday he always expected Iduna to just show up again.

“I'm sure they'll listen to you.” Said Mattias and patted his back again.

A few minutes later they found themselves surrounded. It happened way too fast. The Northuldra people hid in bushes, on trees and were so fast that they didn't have a chance to react. “Are you here to make trouble again lieutenant?” Asked a female voice and then and older woman approached them.

“Not this time, Yelena. Just here to talk.” The woman raised an eyebrow, rightfully suspicious considering what happened after all these years. “She's the leader.” He informed Agnarr then.

The king took a step forward. “I'm King Agnarr of Arendelle.” He introduced himself and the people around them began to whisper. “I'm not here to harm you or anything. I just...need your help.”

“You need our help?” Asked Yelena incredulously.

“Do you happen to know someone named Iduna?” Only a few people reacted to the name, but especially Yelena.

“She's my niece.” She replied, but glared at him. “Why? How do you know her?”

“She's my wife.” Agnarr answered, but it didn't look like any of them were believing him.

“Why would an Arendellian marry an 'enemy' with magical powers?” Asked one of the Northuldra.

“To be fair, I didn't know she's Northuldra for a long time. She did a very good job at hiding it. But I didn't care where she came from, really, because I loved her.” He said truthfully, hoping that they'll believe him —well especially Yelena since she's the leader and Iduna's aunt.

For now Yelena's expression didn't change. “So you two got out when the mist appeared. But how were you able to come back?”

Now on to the difficult part. “It's kind of a long story...But to make it short, Iduna saved me that day. We got two daughters, one of them with magical powers, too. Ice magic to be exact. Then an accident happened. And then Iduna was curious where their magic came from and if there really was no way to save this place. She told me all about Ahtohallan and that it might be the only place to find answers. We've been there yesterday.” Everyone around them looked at him in shock. Of course, till now Ahtohallan was just a legend and a place no one could reach. “It turned into a glacier and apparently Iduna is the fifth spirit.”

The people around them gasped, even Yelena looked shocked to hear that. “She's the fifth spirit...? Where is she?”

“She...went too far when we tried to find the truth about that day.” Was all he said, but everyone understood what he meant. Surely they all knew the lullaby.

“And you let this happen?!”

“I tried to stop her, really! I wanted to jump in myself, but she pushed me away...” Agnarr knew there's no excuse for anything, but at least he tried...But what should he do against someone with magical powers? “Anyway...the truth is my father built this dam to weaken the forest. He was the one who started the battle by killing your old leader. I know what he did is inexcusable, but I still want to apologize. I'm really sorry for what my father did to your people. He lied to all of us. All Arendellians still believe that the dam was a gift of peace. No one would've guessed what kind of person he really was.”

“He was a good liar. But how should we know you're not the same?” Asked Yelena and looked at him suspiciously. But he didn't have an answer to this. And he understood their mistrust.

“Well, he did marry a Northuldra girl, went all the way to Ahto-however this place is called and was brought here by the spirits.” Mattias had some good points.

“Wait, the spirits helped you in?” Asked the leader. Of course he had to get inside somehow, but she surely didn't expect that their spirits helped.

“Nokk and the wind spirit helped me. I want to destroy the dam to make at least something right. And that's why I need your help. I thought maybe the earth spirit could help us out.” Explained Agnarr, looking at them all hopefully. But the Northuldra still looked at him suspiciously. “Well, I would show you that I became friends with them...but the wind spirit became very quiet till last night.”

“Only when you were around.” Said Mattias and put a hand on the king's shoulder. “Once you left to sleep it was back and was messing with all of us. Maybe it knew that you need rest and didn't want to bother you.”

Yelena raised an eyebrow. “Are you telling me that you all played with the wind spirit?”

“Pretty much, yes.” Mattias shrugged as if it's no big deal. But...if you're locked in a magical place with elemental spirits...maybe nothing can surprise you anymore.

And on cue, the wind spirit arrived again, playing around with the leaves and especially his clothes and hair again. As if to show them they're friends.

“She really seems to like you...” Mumbled Yelena thoughtfully. To be honest Agnarr had no idea how any of them could know a gender of a spirit you couldn't even see, but he'd just believe it.

Then they all looked at Mattias for some reason. “W-what?” He asked, looking around and checking his uniform for something weird. Until he found a little salamander sitting on his shoulder. Mattias was rightfully surprised and tried to push it away, but it just held onto his hand. “What's that?!” He asked, trying to shake it off, but it held on tightly.

“It's the fire spirit. We haven't seen him for months.” Explained Yelena, who was just as surprised as Mattias about the spirit's appearance.

“Bruni?” Agnarr said, remembering Iduna having called him that. At that the lizard looked at him and licked his eye. Then he held his hand out to it and it jumped right on it. It was very warm to the touch. The lizard looked at him as if he expected something from him, but he couldn't guess what he should do.

“The spirits really seem to like you.” Said Yelena, but it still sounded like she still couldn't believe it. Well, he didn't believe any of this either...

Then he remembered a little detail that he left out. “Oh! When Iduna sent the memory of that day up from Ahtohallan's depths, I heard her sing, too. She said she's doing it to call the spirits. And it helped us finding the way. She also calmed down Nokk with it...And Vinny appeared right after, too.”

Yelena looked at him thoughtfully. “Yes, this was her way of communicating with the spirits. It sounds like she called them to help you. That's why the fire spirit appeared.”

Agnarr couldn't help but smile. That's so typical. Even when she's freezing she's thinking about his well-being. That's why he loved her so much. Meanwhile Bruni walked over his arm and climbed on his shoulder. He made himself comfortable there and probably wouldn't leave anytime soon. “Can I count on your help?” Asked Agnarr then, to go back to the main topic. “I need you to make sure that no one's around the dam. I don't want anyone else to get hurt. And once the dam is gone we can go back our own paths. If you wish we'll leave you alone for good. But to be honest...I'd like to form a real alliance. I want to learn more about this place and your people. And I'd like to bring my daughters here and show them their mothers home.”

Agnarr waited, as Yelena thought about his offer. Of course he'd understand if she didn't want any of them near the forest again, but it would be sad for Anna and Elsa. “I'll think about it.” She eventually said. “For now we should get rid of this dam. We'll help you.”

It was still good news and she actually considered an alliance, even though it wasn't a yes yet. “Thank you.”

Then Yelena turned to the others around them and spoke in a different language. It's most likely the old Northuldra language Iduna told him about. The people agreed to whatever Yelena said and scattered. “They'll make sure no one's getting close to the dam.” The woman said. “The Rock Giants might be more helpful to destroy it than the other spirits. I don't know if they'd like you, though, they can be very moody at times. But maybe Iduna's song calmed them like the others.”

The king nodded, really hoping that the giants are calm when he'll go to them. “Could you tell me where I can find them?”

Yelena nodded, before turning away and told them with a simple hand gesture to follow her. “In case they're not calm, you might need some help to get away fast. Did Iduna tell you that she grew up with a reindeer?”

“Yes. Uh...Askjell, right?” It's been a while since she told him this, so he hoped he still got the name right. And if he remembered correctly it was a white and black reindeer, too.

“That's right. I'm sure he'd like to help you, too.” Yelena brought them to the camp of her people, everyone looked surprised that she was with two Arendellians but no one questioned it. They all trusted her judgment. “Bring me Iduna's reindeer.” She told one of the reindeer herders, who nodded and immediately left to fetch the reindeer. It didn't even take that long since there were just a handful of white reindeer in the herd. “He should be able to carry you and he's even one of the fastest we have.” Said Yelena, as the reindeer came closer to him and sniffed him.

It really looked beautiful. The fur pattern and color was magnificent. After the reindeer sniffed him, it looked up as if he recognized something on him. “...Are you smelling Iduna on me?” Agnarr asked and noticed how his ears wiggled at the mention of her name. The reindeer looked up at him and then around as if he's looking for her. “She's gone.” As he said this the reindeer looked at him in shock, before slumping down with a sad whine.

“Looks like he was very attached to her.” Mused Mattias, who has been watching everything silently.

“Of course. They grew up together.” Said Yelena. “I'll go back and tell everyone the news. Just go whenever you're ready. You can find the giants by the river in that direction.” With that said, she left.

“Okay...” Mumbled Agnarr, already thinking of a plan. “Mattias, go back to the others, too. If they're angry at me then, I don't know, make some noise to get their attention. They need to attack the dam at all cost.”

Agnarr saw that Mattias was about to protest, because he's gonna be alone while meeting the giants, but he held himself back. “Okay. Just make sure to come back in one piece.”

Now Agnarr put a hand on his friend's shoulder. “Of course. After all, we all have to go back home.”

Mattias nodded. “Good luck.” And then he went back to the dam, where the others waited for them.

Of course Agnarr noticed Mattias hesitation towards the whole plan. After all, the castle and surely most of the town will be destroyed if the dam broke. And he very much knew that he'd technically give Halima up, too. He's been in love with her since forever, and Agnarr always tried to hook them up as a kid. But Agnarr thought about this, too and had a plan. There's no way he'd just do this and sacrifice half of Arendelle's people. “Vinny?” The wind spirit circled him to make his presence known. “Can you do me a big favor? Is it possible for you to evacuate Arendelle? The people there are innocent and don't deserve this.” The spirit drew circles on the ground then, picking some leaves up at the process, before flying past him. Some leaves hit him, as the spirit flew away.

Then he looked at the fire spirit that still sat comfortably on his shoulder. “I have no task for you.” Bruni looked at him and licked his eye again. He had no idea what this was supposed to mean, though. But he didn't look like he wanted to go. “Okay...Shall we go?” He asked the reindeer, who was still sad. “We're doing this for her, too.” Askjell made another whining sound, before standing up. “I lost her, too, I know how you feel.” Said Agnarr —was he really talking to a reindeer here?— and patted the animal. Then he made another sound that Agnarr couldn't interpret and looked pretty much ready to go. “Ready?” Askjell made a huffing noise and stomped his hoof, looking at him determinedly. “Let's go then.”

Agnarr climbed on his back, it felt kinda odd without a saddle and he's never ridden a reindeer before either. Once he held onto his back, and steered him to the direction Yelena has pointed to, Askjell began to ran. He was very fast. It didn't even take that long till he saw the river. But he couldn't see any rock giants. Just...normal looking mountains. Askjell stopped by the water and looked at him expectantly. The king frowned and looked at the mountains again. Now it looked like they're breathing. So that's no mountain, they're the giants. “Okay, let's wake them up.” Just as he said this Askjell made loud noises, probably screaming at the giants to wake up.

“Wake up!” He screamed at them, too, but they kept snoring. Iduna could surely just sing her tune and they'd be awake immediately...Would that be worth a try? Probably...? Yeah, it was worth a try. Was it...? Agnarr couldn't really believe what he's about to do...Sighing frustrated, he took a deep breath and tried to sing Iduna's tune. But it sounded...really terrible. There's a reason why he's not singing. Askjell shook his head wildly and even the giants stirred awake. But they all covered their stony ears. Even Bruni curled up in a tiny ball to cover his hears as much as possible. “Oh, come on! It's not that bad!” He yelled at them all, even though he knew their reactions were justified.

The giants looked at them, but they didn't seem friendly. More like annoyed that he woke them up like that...“Gogogo!” He told Askjell as one of the giants reached out to them. Askjell turned immediately and ran wherever Agnarr wanted him to run.

The giants were slow, so he kept provoking them to move faster. “Bruni, wanna help?” The little lizard stuck to his clothes, so he could easily turn to the giants without having to be afraid to fall down. Then purple fire appeared on his back and he spit some fire balls at the giants. But soon enough they threw boulders at them. Now if they'd just throw them at the dam...Agnarr made sure to use a path that was far away from the Northuldra camp. Or at least he hoped so, the forest always looked the same to him. But he told Askjell his plan and he apparently knew where he needed to go without his guidance.

Then Agnarr could hear a faint sound. As if metal hits metal. The giants apparently heard it better and walked to the direction the noise came from, completely forgetting that they were chasing Agnarr. Askjell stopped and took some deep breaths. “Good boy.” He said, patting his side. Agnarr's heart was racing like crazy, too, but it wasn't over yet. “Askjell, do you have some energy left to bring me to the dam?” The reindeer looked at him, before huffing and started running again.

As they reached the dam, Agnarr saw that the giants already threw boulders at the dam. It looked like his help wasn't needed there. Only a few boulders later did the dam break and the tons of water that were held back were now set free and rushed down the fjord towards Arendelle. Agnarr could only watch and hope that Vinny brought everyone to safety. Then a sudden flash appeared in the sky. Agnarr had barely time to see what it was, but he could've sworn it was the same symbol that was in Ahtohallan. And then the mist slowly vanished. The giants looked just as confused as he felt. Askjell made some noises and stared at the sky. The only one who had a complete different reaction was Bruni. He was just happy. “Looks like we did it.” He said more to himself, because he still couldn't believe it.

The reindeer slumped to the ground, exhausted. Agnarr got off his back then, and lay down on his back next to him. And Bruni just walked over him, sitting on his chest and just looked happy. But Agnarr didn't have any more time to rest, because then Mattias and the other soldiers approached him. “Are you alright?” Asked Mattias and held his hand out to him.

“Yes. Just exhausted.” Agnarr took his hand and got up with his help, also moving Bruni on his hand.

“I can't believe we did it.” Said his guard, who was obviously on the verge of tears.

The king smiled at his old friend and put a hand on his shoulder. “You better believe it, soon. Because we'll go home. There's a lot of work waiting for us. I don't know how big the damage was, but we surely have to rebuilt the castle, the market square and the village.” The fields and farms were hopefully still there.

“At your service, your majesty.” Mattias said this with a sad undertone and Agnarr knew he's thinking that many people might be gone there. Agnarr really wanted to assure him and tell him not to worry, but he didn't know if Vinny brought everyone to safety either.

But then he felt a certain magical wind. It's funny how he could recognize the wind spirit now. “Vinny?” He still asked, though to make sure he was right. The spirit drew circles on the ground and caught Bruni who jumped off his hand. “Is everyone save?” As an answer he only got a little tornado of leaves and Bruni. Both men frowned.

“Is that a yes?” Asked Mattias unsure. Then the wind spirit circled him and then Agnarr, hitting them both with leaves, while Bruni had the time of his life.

“I think that's a yes.” Again, Vinny was playing with his clothes, he seemed to be very excited. “Everyone made it out safely.” What a relief. Everyone were happy that their loved one's made it. And even though they had to built everything again, at least everyone was save.

Agnarr turned around when he heard Askjell making urgent noises. Yelena approached them. “Looks like you did it.” She was smiling. Agnarr was pretty sure that she doubted him till now. Of course he understood her. “I'd love to see my grand nieces.”

Agnarr smiled back and couldn't help but think of the great alliance they'll build together. “I know they'll be so happy to meet you.” They all went to the borders of the forest together. The kids of the Northuldra just saw the sun and the sky for the first time in their lives. It was amazing seeing everyone so happy. And to think that his father wanted to destroy all this...brought back some bitterness.

It it didn't stay long, thank god, because he was too busy watching the reindeer. The gigantic herd ran out of the forest, Askjell too, and they all ran in circles. Iduna told him about this, but he forgot how they called it. Still, it looked great. But then the wind tried to pull him somewhere. “Vinny, no.” He really didn't have time to play right now. But it didn't listen and kept pushing him. “Stop that!” He yelled, but then froze when he saw the leaves moving in an unnatural way far away from him.

So, if Vinny was over there, who was pushing him? Agnarr let the wind guide him, down a little hill and to the shore. He really had no idea what he's doing there, until he saw something on the water. It looked like Nokk. And it looked like someone was riding him...It took him a while till he could see it clearly, but even then he couldn't believe it. His heart stopped for a second when he thought to see Iduna. He rubbed his eyes furiously and looked at the water spirit again. But the picture of Iduna riding him was still there.

Agnarr knew he shouldn't hope, but he couldn't help it. And it felt like time slowed down. It took Nokk painfully long to gallop to the shore. And when it finally did, the illusion of Iduna dismounted and looked at him as happy as ever. Now he had to rub his eyes to get rid of the tears, that threatened to blur his vision. “Iduna...?” He asked the illusion, hoping that she was really there. Nokk nudged Iduna forward, as if to show him that she was actually here. She giggled and patted the horse's nose and Agnarr could feel his heart stopping a second time. Once Nokk vanished into the water she turned to him and opened her arms, tilting her head and looking at him expectantly. She was saying something but he couldn't hear anything over his beating heart.

Then without thinking any more, he ran to her and hugged her. She was really there! At this realization, he hugged her tighter, not wanting to ever let go of her again. “Iduna...” He sobbed, crying shamelessly into her hair. She was hugging him back and he could feel her clinging to his jacket. “Don-don't ever do this again...” Agnarr wanted to sound harsh, like he was giving her a lecture, but he sounded more desperate.

“I think there's no need for more sacrifices.” She was crying too. Agnarr already felt how his legs got weaker any second, till they gave out completely and pulled Iduna down with him. He was kneeling and pulled Iduna so close that she could easily sit on his lap by now. Which she did. Agnarr was crying like there's no tomorrow, while his wife was holding him, caressing his back and head and kept telling him that everything's alright now. He wouldn't even care if anyone would see them like that. And it's not like anyone could blame him either, he thought he lost her forever.

Only when he calmed down enough to talk did he loosen his grip on her slightly. “How?” He mumbled into her hair. “What happened down there?” Although he wasn't sure if he wanted to know what happened. Even though he was still hesitant to let her go completely, he let her pull away to look into his eyes. And she looked very hesitant to answer the question, too. “Tell me. I can handle it.” He said, as he cupped her cheek and caressed her with his thumb.

“I froze.” She answered and Agnarr tried to ignore the stabbing pain in his heart. “Like...into an ice statue. But then you saved me.” Agnarr frowned. He hasn't done anything to save her...He still felt bad about it actually. “All I remember is that suddenly I unfroze and the ground cracked open. I fell into the water and Nokk saved me. Then he brought me all the way to Arendelle. Uhm, for the first time I could hear the voices of the spirits. They said the dam is gone and the people are innocent.” So the wind spirit did believe him after all.

“And Arendelle?” He asked, expecting her to say that the whole village was destroyed.

“Nokk and I were able to save the village. But I'm afraid the whole castle faced the full wrath of the flood.” She looked up at him sadly and apologetically.

“The people?”

“Everyone's safe.” That was enough. He pulled Iduna back into his arms and hugged her tightly. “I'm sorry. I tried to save the castle, too. I know there were many memories of your mother there. And-”

Agnarr interrupted her, by kissing her. He really didn't care about the castle. Maybe this was a good point to start anew. “It's okay.” Iduna wanted to protest, but he just kissed her again. Actually, he didn't just do it to silence her. “I don't care what happened to the castle. We can rebuild it. I'm just glad everyone's safe.”

Iduna hugged him back. “I'm sure if I had Elsa's powers I could've made an ice wall and save the castle, too.”

“Maybe. But it doesn't matter.” They stayed like that for a while longer, before eventually letting go of each other. Well, almost. Agnarr still made sure to keep her close and held her hand. “Hey...remember Destin Mattias? You know, my guard when I was a kid?” His wife nodded, while he wiped some tears away. “He's here. And the other Arendellian soldiers.”

“That's great.” She smiled at him happily and this was enough to brighten his life.

“And there's someone else who'd be happy to see you.” Now he finally stood up and helped his wife up, too.

“Who?”

“You'll see.” Agnarr ignored her confused look and guided her back to the others. The first to greet them was the wind spirit. He thought he might've known about her return from the beginning but gave them some private time.

“Vinny...” Iduna sniffled, wiping some tears away, but more came. Then the spirit flew away and came back with Bruni floating in the air. “Bruni.” The brunette took the lizard into her hands. Bruni looked very happy to see her and turned on his back and looked at her in a happy and cute way. Iduna rubbed his belly with her index finger, as Agnarr led her to the little crowd.

“Destin!” The soldier turned around and walked over to them, looking confused when he saw Iduna. Of course. “This is Iduna. It's-it's a complicated story, but she's back!”

“This is what I call a miracle.” He said before bowing to her. “My queen. It's a pleasure to meet you. My boy told me everything about you.”

“I hope only good things.” Said Iduna and looked at him with a raised eyebrow. Bruni climbed on Iduna's shoulder and looked like that, too.

“Of course. There are only good things to talk about you.” Agnarr pulled her back into his arms and kissed the top of her head.

“Very good answer. And...'my boy'?” She asked, raising an eyebrow at both him and Mattias.

“Oh, that's because I've spent more time with him than with my father, you know. He was actually a better father to me than my real one.” He explained and looked at Mattias who looked embarrassed but proud.

“Right, right...You mentioned that before. That's...both sad and cute.” It sure was. But he wouldn't be who he was now if it wasn't for Mattias raising him. If his real father actually bothered to raise him he'd probably a tyrant like him. And in that case he was glad that Runeard didn't care about him.

“I think it's great that Destin was always with me.” Iduna looked at him as if he could read his mind and agreed with him. “Good news, Arendelle's not destroyed. Well, not completely. Only the castle was hit.”

Mattias nodded. “Well, it's good to hear that not everything was destroyed. I'll tell the others.” With that said, Mattias left.

“Okay, now you really need to see someone special. But first...” Agnarr reached behind her head to make her bun loose so that her braid was free. He used the excuse that no one will recognize her with that hairstyle, but it was for him, too. He only saw her hair open at night. Then taking her hand again he now lead her to the few Northuldra, who admired the sky and were happy that the mist was finally gone. He felt like a little kid wanting to show his friend all his new toys. “Yelena.” He called and heard a gasp from his wife.

Said woman turned to them and looked equally as confused at Iduna as Mattias was. Agnarr looked at his beloved wife, who began to cry again. “Auntie Lena?” At her words, Yelena's eyes widened in shock and recognition.

“Iduna? Is that you, my child?” Iduna nodded and hugged her aunt. Of course Yelena had questions, especially how she got out of Ahothallan's depths alive and as Iduna told her the story, Agnarr stood a few steps away and let them have their moment. What he also heard was that both Iduna's parents were alive as well. From what she told him, they had a great relationship, the exact opposite of him and his father.

Looking back at his soldiers, he faintly heard Mattias telling them to pack their things, because they'll go home soon. Right, they should go for as long as they'll have daylight. It should be a two day march back to Arendelle. Agnarr approached his wife and Yelena and cleared his throat. “Sorry, I hate to interrupt but...the others are getting ready to go, so-”

“Right! Right, we should go now. It's a long way back.” To be honest, her words surprised him. He was honestly expecting her to stay here with her family.

“Iduna...” Agnarr stopped her from saying good bye to Yelena. “You can stay here. If you want. You don't have to go back with me if you don't want that...” He said, knowing how much she missed her home and family and being willing to let her stay here if she pleased. Even if he'll miss her to death.

“What are you talking about? Of course I'll go back with you! Don't be ridiculous.” She was talking to him as if he's crazy, then she turned back to Yelena. “We'll come back and visit you soon. And this time Elsa and Anna will be here, too.”

“I'll look forward to it.” They hugged again and then she went back to him and took his hand.

“Ready.” She said and wanted to drag him to the soldiers, but he stopped her.

“Wait.” Iduna looked at him and tilted her head. “I thought you'd like to stay here. See your parents. And everyone else...You really don't have to force yourself to go back-”

This time Iduna silenced him with a kiss. “I said don't be ridiculous. Of course I missed the forest, the spirits and my family, but my home is with you and the girls, in Arendelle.”

“But...are your sure you want-” Iduna was ignoring him completely, as she took the little lizard from her shoulder and kissed its head. “Bruni, see you again.” The blue fire spirit turned red in a second. “Vinny?” The wind circled around her and Iduna wrapped her arms around herself, as if wanting to hug the air. It was cute. “You need to visit us.” Then she suddenly turned back to Yelena, as if she remembered something important. “Oh! I'd like to borrow some clothes, if that's okay with you.”

Yelena smiled, knowing what she's up to. “Sure. Just give me a moment.” The woman walked back into the forest. Iduna looked at the ground thoughtfully, her lips pressed together and subconsciously petting Bruni. When she looked up at him, he could already guess what she's thinking. “Agnarr-”

“Go.” She looked surprised at this. “Go and see your parents. Take whatever you can. We'll wait here for you.”

His wife frowned. “And you promise to really wait and not just leave because you think I want it?”

“I promise.” She already convinced him and to be very honest he was happy that she chose the life with him and the girls. Even though he could just go back himself and bring the girls to her. His heart thumped happily when she smiled at him. He's definitely gonna cherish these little things of and with her more than he already did.

“Okay. But to make sure...Bruni, Vinny, I want you to keep an eye on him. And if he dares to leave without me then stop him.” The wind spirit circled him and pushed him back to the forest slightly to make its point clear. Iduna put Bruni back on his shoulder and the little lizard watched him with unblinking eyes. It was a bit creepy.

“I'll hurry.” But before she could go, Agnarr heard someone running towards them. Right, he forgot someone. Then a second later Askjell appeared and rubbed his head against her to greet her and tell her how happy he was to see her. He even almost hit her with his antlers. “Askjell, my big boy.” The reindeer licked her and was pushed away. “Eww!” Iduna wiped the saliva off her face, but still laughed. “Okay, I really need to go now.” At that Askjell jumped —yes, he jumped— in front of her and looked at her expectantly. “Good idea.” Iduna got on the reindeer's back like the pro rider that she was and guided him to the Northuldra camp.

Once they vanished into the forest, he looked at Bruni who was still staring at him. “Stop that. You're freaking me out...” But he kept staring, occasionally licking his eye. “You're a creepy little spirit.” Well, there was nothing for him to do, so all he did was waiting for the soldiers and Iduna. A little quiet moment was just what he needed right now.

-----------------------------------------------

The soldiers were ready first, but it wasn't surprising. After all Iduna met her parents and other family the first time in years. But she only returned a few minutes after the soldiers did. She was still riding on Askjell and had a bag attached to him.

“We're back.” She announced, as Askjell ran over to him. “I've brought some presents for everyone.” Iduna patted the bag.

“I think Anna and Elsa will be happy about our return even if we wouldn't bring presents.” Said Agnarr teasingly and just got a raised eyebrow from her in return. Then he turned to the soldiers. “Alright, let's go.” The creepy spirit on his shoulder rubbed his head on his neck, before jumping off him. The wind spirit caught him and put him on the ground gently. Agnarr waved at the spirits, before following the men and women. And Iduna was beside him, still riding on Askjell. “Is your friend coming with us?” He asked, petting the reindeer.

“Yes. He doesn't want to leave my side anymore. Just like someone else I know.” Agnarr ignored the look she gave him. Of course she meant him. “Is that okay with you?”

“Yes! Sure! Everything that makes you happy, my love.” And he meant it. He'd do literally anything to make her happy. Now more than ever. She smiled at him happily, while he took her hand. Agnarr just wanted to feel her and make sure she's close.

“I love you. My life.” He said, using the pet name she originally chose for him.

Iduna squeezed his hand gently. “I love you too. My light.”

#agduna #iduna #agnarr #mattias #yelena #frozen #disney #fanfics #fanfiction

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welllpthisishappening · 5 years

Text

Pace of Play

She can’t believe she’s never noticed it before. Because, honestly, Emma can’t even come up with a number to try and calculate how often she’s watched Killian step into the batters box. And that’s the thing. He never really steps out, either. It's a weird approach, but that could be the subheadline for their lives at this point and she’s mostly concerned with the power behind that swing.

—-

Word Count: Like 3.4K Rating: Teen, but with kissing! AN: This is solely for and because of @distant-rose who deserves every bit of baseball fic I have ever written and all the good things in any known universe. And speaking of universes. This is set in that Yankees one where Emma and Killian secretly date because David also plays for the Red Sox. If you’re so inclined to read more:

Batting a Thousand (the original one) || Puppy Love (the one where they get a puppy) || The One Where They Elope || The One Where Killian and David Take the Rivalry Too Far

Let’s go Yankees.

—

“Is it weird that he does that?”

Emma makes a noise — barely more than a passing acknowledgement, eyes never leaving the field because Killian is up to bat and she’d lost feeling in her left foot at some point. She’s twisted at an awkward angle, legs draped over the suite seats in front of her, but she absolutely, positively cannot move.

On pain of death.

Or baseball superstition.

They’ve got to win this game. They can’t go down by two in the series. Not with the way they’ve been hitting and they need to hit better and Emma genuinely cannot remember the last time she took a deep breath.

She fiddles with the ring on her left hand.

And the ring hanging around her neck. It’s some sort of weird pattern, the weight of Mary Margaret’s gaze boring into the back of her head and David had started pacing at some point in the fourth inning.

“He’s swinging half a second too late,” David announces, which only leads to Emma nearly strangling herself. Mary Margaret has to lean over to untangle her fingers.

“Thank you, player not currently competing in the postseason,” Emma mutters.

“Ah, that’s mean.”

“And,” Mary Margaret adds, “it’s not like David would be hitting in this series anyway. Plus—“

“Mary Margaret, if you tell me that David could really add something to the Yankees starting rotation right now, I may actually scream,” Emma warns. Elsa moves her hand over her mouth.

Her laugh is still very loud.

“Ok, that’s not what I was going to say at all—it’s not, seriously stop glaring at the field, it’s freaking me out.”

Emma rolls her eyes, but she’s definitely glaring at the field and she cannot fathom a world where this game doesn’t end with a win and the season doesn’t end with another title and they got married, in the middle of the season, in secret. There are rules about happily ever after.

And sports emotions.

He’s definitely swinging half a second too late.

“See,” David mutters.

Emma grits her teeth. “I am not in the mood for I told you so, right now.”

“I mean, I didn’t say that.”

“Technically,” Elsa amends. She’s stood up as well, a hand pushing on David’s chest when he threatens to wear out the carpet in the suite. “And is no one going to answer my question? Because I know I know nothing about this painfully long sport—“

“—It is the sixth inning,” Emma interrupts.

“We’ve been here for hours, seriously. How often can you change pitchers?”

“Bring it up to Rob Manfred,” David says. Elsa swats at his shoulder that time. “Three-batter minimum for relievers. No more specialists. Pace of play.”

“Should that mean something to me?”

Emma mumbles a curse under her breath, ignoring the growing ache that’s circling around her knee and, somehow, the side of her hip. Killian rocks back on his heels in the box, hardly unbending his knees, even when he swings the bat in front of him, and Emma is dimly aware that Elsa is still talking. She’s not listening. She’s staring. Watching, really. Intently.

“Em, seriously are you listening to your brother and whatever tongues he’s started speaking in?”

“Nah, not at all.”

Elsa clicks her tongue in reproach. It doesn’t matter — Killian’s already digging his toes into the dirt again, quick taps of the bat on the front and back of the plate and—

“Seriously, why does no one else bat like this?”

Emma may growl. Although she’s not sure if that’s because Killian’s just fouled off a ball in the dirt or because Elsa isn’t making any sense, but it really may just be because of the pins and needles stretching into her calf and she snaps her jaw no less than a dozen times.

They’re pumping the live broadcast into the suite — more words Emma hasn’t really been paying attention to, what with the swirling nerves in the pit of her stomach and her heart’s apparent determination to linger in the very center of her throat.

“You know that’s not true,” Mary Margaret mumbles, finally getting Emma to pull her gaze away from home plate.

“What?”

“You cannot have an even count. That’s not how numbers work.”

Elsa sighs. “If you guys are going to keep not making sense, then I’m going to leave. Also, I totally saw Emma and Killian making out before the start of the game.”

David sounds like he’s dying.

“Oh my God,” Emma sighs. “We are married.”

She enunciates every letter of each word — as if that will make them more official or remind the world that she deserves good things and drama-free wins and, maybe, a few home runs over the short right field porch with impressive exit velocity.

“An even count does not make sense,” Mary Margaret repeats, as if they simply hadn’t heard her before. Maybe Emma can find another suite to watch the rest of the game in.

It probably wouldn’t be that hard.

Everyone at the Stadium knows her now, quick smiles whenever she’s downstairs and the security guy at Gate 4 has started waving at her, a muttered Mrs. Jones that never fails to make her heart clench and do several metaphorical somersaults in quick succession.

Killian hits a fly ball over the third base line.

And Emma slumps further into her seat. Her knee does not appreciate it at all.

“How does an even count not make sense, babe?” David asks, all placating and somehow even more married than Emma keeps reminding him that she also is.

“People say even counts on, you know, 1-1 or 2-2, but that doesn’t make sense. A 2-2 count still has more room for balls than strikes. Ergo—“

“—Oh good word,” Elsa laughs.

Mary Margaret winks. Emma’s never really noticed how high Killian’s elbow gets when he settles into his stance. He doesn’t move the bat that much, but Emma swears she can’t practically taste the energy on her tongue, which is either the most disgusting or most romantic thing she’s ever thought and—

Killian fouls another ball off.

“Battling,” David mumbles. She definitely growls that time. It hurts her throat.

He grins.

And Killian never actually steps out of the box — even when the Houston pitcher moves off the rubber, glancing at the inside of his hat for brand-new signs. David’s mumbling something that sounds like I hate when I have to do that, but Emma’s started to realize what Elsa meant.

She’s right.

Killian Jones does not bat like anyone else on the Yankees roster. Maybe even the entire MLB.

That sounds a little dramatic, though. Emma can’t get that dramatic until they win the pennant.

They’re totally going to win the pennant.

He lines his feet up again, the side of his cleat nearly brushing the back of the box, which only makes it obvious how far apart his legs move, that same distinct bend to his knees and a ridiculously high elbow and he kicks his foot out slightly when he swings.

Emma knows. As soon as the ball cracks off the bat.

She jumps up — somehow, without also managing to dislocate several joints at the same time — the ring around her neck flying up and nearly smacking her in the nose. And Emma isn’t sure what noise she makes per se, but it leaves Elsa giggling and Mary Margaret casting furtive glances at David and neither one of those matter when the ball keeps going.

Going, going, gone.

Directly into right center field.

Emma’s jumping, which probably isn’t great considering she can’t really feel any part of her left leg anymore, but Killian’s jogging around he bases and she can see his mouth move, David’s continued stream of commentary echoing between her ears.

“It’s honestly offensive how easy his swing is,” he grumbles. “Where does he even get that kind of power?”

“The making out,” Elsa responds, like it’s obvious. Emma almost chokes on her tongue.

Killian’s rounding third — a quick glance into the Astros dugout and a smile that might be half the reason Emma keeps toying with the ring on her left hand. Possibly like sixty-seven percent. Batting a thousand, or whatever.

She’s too excited to remember appropriate baseball cliches.

He glances up when he steps on home, and she knows he can’t actually see into the team suite, but it’s still exceptionally nice to think about and her heart does half a dozen front flips at that.

And there’s more game — pitches that Emma is certain raise her blood pressure and swings and misses and it’s still a save situation, so she starts pacing at some point too, but then they’re playing New York, New York and Killian’s answering questions on a post-game report and Emma’s standing in the tunnel downstairs and she absolute, positively runs.

It’s impossibly dramatic.

Especially in Game Four.

She hears Killian’s laugh before she actually looks at his face, arms around her waist and her face buried in the curve of his shoulder. He tightens his hold, only one of her feet staying on the ground.

Emma kisses wherever she can reach, which isn’t really saying much what with the awkward angle of her neck, but Killian doesn’t seem to mind, dragging his own lips over the side of her jaw.

Someone whistles.

It’s definitely Will.

“Should hit more home runs,” Killian mumbles, and it’s testament to postseason adrenaline that he doesn’t drop her when Emma starts to laugh as well.

Will might be gagging now.

Emma hums. “Something you might want to take into consideration.”

“That so?”

“I mean—I could not jump you post if that’s what you’re suggesting.”

“No, no, I never once said that. Did you yell very loudly, Swan?”

“I think you’re fishing for compliments.”

“Absolutely.”

She might giggle. It’s absurd. She can’t get over the angle of his elbow when he bats. “God, that’s so stupid.”

“It’s strange, I’m not getting that compliment vibe anymore, love.”

“I yelled very loudly, scandalized my brother and I’ve got a question for you.”

Killian leans back, head nearly colliding with a wall covered in blue and white paint and the team name in enormous letters. As if they aren’t all constantly aware of where they are. History, or something. “About?”

“Well, Elsa actually brought it up, but—“

“—Jones,” a voice calls from the clubhouse, and Killian groans far louder than he should. Emma isn’t sure if that’s because of the voice or the only slightly accidental way she rolls her hips against him.

“You’re a menace,” he mutters.

“You’ve still got media.”

“I’m going to shower first.”

“They’ve got deadlines, babe.”

“I’m going to shower first,” Killian repeats. “Then I will answer questions, get ice, get a car and—“ He trails a finger up the back of her spine, making Emma twist in his hold while her teeth find her lower lip. Her breath hitches. And that smile is as different from the one he flashed in-game as it is possible for one smile to be, not quite triumphant, but maybe a little determined and she assumes she moves first.

If only because he’s still smiling when her mouth crashes into his.

Killian pulls her tighter against his chest, backing up even more so he’s got something to rest his weight on and neither one of them acknowledges the now very-clearly annoyed clubhouse voice. He tilts his head instead, mouth opening against Emma’s and tongue swiping across the lip she’d been toying with.

His hand works its way under her shirt, the same number he’d been wearing and Emma arches into the touch almost immediately. It leave hers hips canted up again, a move that is not even remotely appropriate for the bowels of Yankee Stadium, and she can only imagine that George Steinbrenner is getting dangerously close to rising from his grave and chastising them for conduct detrimental to the team.

Emma’s arms shift, fingers pushing into Killian’s hair and that only gets him to groan again, but then she’s ghosting over the side of a clean-shaven face and he has to shave every morning.

Her heart is in almost perpetuate state of upheaval.

It’s the best goddamn thing in the world.

“I’ve got to go, love,” Killian murmurs, mostly into her mouth. Also nice. Better than nice. She’s going to look up the projected distance of that home run in the Uber home.

“I really yelled ridiculously loud.”

“I’ve got no doubt. I’ll see you at home, ok?”

Emma nods — a few more quick and slightly stolen kisses, which is an almost appropriate baseball joke. Kind of. No one really steals bases anymore.

And she’s got every intention of waiting up. She does. She’s got plans and questions about batting stances, but the corner of the couch is surprisingly comfortable and the sudden lack of postseason adrenaline rushing through her leaves her questionably exhausted with eyes that refuse to watch another loop of SportsCenter.

Emma jolts up when she hears the front door close, a lock clicking behind him and one side of Killian’s mouth tugs up when he walks into the room.

She’s still wearing her shirt.

And not much else.

“That seems like cheating,” he says softly, crouching in front of the couch. She’s thinking about his knees again.

“All hail the conquering hero or whatever.”

“Is this my welcoming committee, then?”

“Something like that,” Emma laughs, pushing up and Killian moves between her legs as soon as her feet find their way back to the floor. “Did you scandalize any journalists?”

“Nah, that’s not really my game.”

“Just hitting home runs.”

“Made the Top Ten.”

“No shit.”

Killian chuckles, nosing at Emma’s cheek. “You’ve got ESPN on, Swan. Did you not see?”

“I mean I saw the real thing, so—“

“—Ah, yeah, that is true. You can’t be very comfortable.”

“It’s going ok.”

“That so?”

She nods again — suddenly finding it difficult to respond when his eyes do that impossibly blue thing, dark with something close to want, and he can’t seem to decide where to look. His gaze snaps from hers down to the ring that’s fallen back over her shirt and the one on her hand and at some point in the last few months, he’s started brushing his thumb underneath it with an almost alarming regularity. Like, for good luck or something.

Baseball players are the weirdest.

“What did you want to ask me before?”

“Hmm?”

“You said you had a question,” Killian says. “What about?”

“Oh, oh, yeah—your elbow.”

He blinks. It’s an oddly satisfying response, and Killian nearly falls over when Emma stands up, gaze shifting again to the distinct lack of pants she’s got on. She can see the tip of his tongue poking against the inside of his cheek.

“Like I said, El brought it up—“

“—I’d really you rather didn’t talk about Elsa when there’s so much of your leg on display.”

“Leg, singular?”

“Swan.”

She sticks her tongue out, but that only leads to an even bluer blue and she’s got to stop thinking about the way his knees bend. Maybe she’s the weird one. “Ok, ok, just—why do you bat like you do?”

“Are we on the record?”

“I mean no— because obviously I know how you bat—do not look at me like that.” He smirks, pulling his lips behind his teeth and sitting down. It’s ridiculous, his legs pulled up against his chest and his chin resting on an upturned palm. “I could probably reenact your stance in my sleep.”

“That so?”

“I will kick you.”

“I’ve got to play tomorrow,” Killian counters. “Something about prime agility at the hot corner.”

“You don’t ever come out of the batters box.”

“And?”

“And what? That’s super weird. I mean—other guys call time like twenty-six times and—“

“—No ump is letting anyone call time twenty-six times.”

She rolls her eyes, but Killian appears to have been counting on that and Emma has started bobbing on the balls of her feet. “Take my exaggerated point for what it is. All I’m saying is, you never leave the box. Other guys do. Every single pitch. They take practice swings or they refit their gloves and—“

“—I don’t always wear gloves.”

“Well, that’s just ridiculous.”

“Where did my elbow fit into this, exactly?”

“It’s so high up when you bat,” Emma exclaims. The projected distance of that home run was four-hundred and twenty-six feet. Eventually she will blame this tirade on that.

Killian nods, tapping his fingers on the side of Emma’s ankle until she stills. “Yeah, that’s a whole thing. It’s, uh—well, the elbow is high, so I’ve got more momentum when I swing. Physics and all that. Helps with your hips too. And the wide stance.”

“So you can stay behind the ball.”

“And you acted like you didn’t know why I did it.”

“Nah,” Emma objects, “I get why you’re doing it. I just—well, El was talking about you staying in the box and—“

“—Mind games.”

“Wait, what?”

“Mind games,” Killian repeats with a shrug. “You’re right. Almost every other batter moves around between pitches, but when I first started playing there wasn’t a ton of time to do that. I—well, Liam used to toss me batting practice and it was always kind of in between everything else we were doing and so I never thought about stepping out of the box because I was cutting into my own practice time.”

Emma presses her lips together, something different than the usual gymnastics taking place in her stomach. It’s a little softer, quieter and even more comfortable. Like their couch. But in a way that sounds nicer than that.

“And now,” Killian continues, “it drives opposing pitchers insane. Your brother, especially. He hates when I don’t step out. Because then he’s got to get back into his windup quicker.”

“You’re toying with them.”

“A little. Pace of play, you know.”

Emma laughs, absent-mindedly moving her hands like she’s swinging an invisible bat over her head. It’s admittedly a little weird as far as flirting goes, but she figures the playoffs afford for these kind of moments. And Killian doesn’t move quickly when he stands, Emma’s eyes lingering on his mouth longer than they probably should, just steps into her space and twists her against his chest and—

“Lift your elbow up a bit, love.”

“This is a cliche.”

“We’re not actually on a field, I think that sets us apart.”

She scoffs, twisting her hips. That time is on purpose. Killian groans, head dropping to her shoulder so he can nip at the bit of skin there. “You were the one who said you could reenact my stance in your sleep,” he points out.

“Well, it’s distinct.”

Killian hums, and there’s this absolutely delightful thrum in Emma’s veins — wide awake and ready to flirt. She kicks her feet out, one then the other, like she’s tapping her toes with the bat. She pushes down the visor of an invisible helmet, squaring up to a home plate that isn’t there, rocks her weight from side to side.

“I can’t believe you remembered the visor thing,” Killian mutters. “You know, Swan, I think you might be stalking me.”

“Don’t act like you’re not into it.”

“Your elbow is still too low.”

“Does this not hurt your shoulder?”

“You get used to it.” Emma grumbles, but lifts her elbow up anyway, an angle her normal, human body is not used to bending at. “Now,” Killian mutters, dropping his mouth just behind her ear, “kick your front leg out, snap your hips forward and—“

Emma swings.

Which is only a little absurd, considering they’re standing in their living room and she’s definitely heard this start to SportsCenter three times already, but they won and that’s got to count for something.

Several things.

Everything.

“Straight shot into the bleachers,” Killian says.

“Right or left?”

“Batters choice.”

“I always think it’s more impressive when you can pull one.”

He spins her — that same look from before growing more pronounced and still just as attractive as ever. “I’ll see what I can do.”

“You’re wearing too many clothes.”

“Agreed,” Killian nods, and Emma isn’t really sure how they ever get into their bedroom, but there’s probably a postseason excuses and home runs and her shirt spends most of the night in the hallway.

Emma picks it up the next morning, coffee already brewing and the SportsCenter theme obvious and she lets her legs drape over Killian’s when they both watch the number one play.

#cs ff #captain swan #captain swan ff #cs fic #there should probably be a tag for all these fics huh #there probably won't ever be #this is unashamedly and obviously about aaron judge's batting stance #if i ever write a baseball fic that isn't about the yankees i'm probably dead #also writing game action is my favorite

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slowlymadeart · 5 years

Photo

After a month of making adjustments to the script and editing things out I’ve kind of lost perspective on how this can been seen from a stranger’s point of view.

(And may have over explained in areas just to make sure communication was clear).

All images are cropped to instagram size. (except the first one with the “critique” message).

Tried my best to jam everything into 10 panels.

Oh, and what’s happening in that last panel is me being arrested for spoon debt.

Annnd to answer your question, yes. I do imagine a world in which “spoon court” and a “spoon bank” is being run by utensils.

I know it’s weird. It’s the whole “Goofy is a dog with a dog (Pluto) as a pet!

but.. I think it’s kinda funny….or could be if I ever draw more. Just doing research on obscure and various utensil to make into characters? I don’t think I could pass on that.

Anyhow, here’s some thoughts and explanations you are free to ignore. Seriously. They might cloud whatever you thought of the comic before reading a backlog of thoughts…But if you wanna follow the thought train, hop aboard.

1. Is “Well, You could just google it” too condescending or will the internet be okay with this? When it’s written in a post it’s fine, but in a comic? I just don’t want to push people away. Especially first thing. (After a month of rewrites and redraws is when I changed up that speech bubble and put that line in there, lol).

2. “Spoonie” comes with many associations with chronically ill/disabled communities. I tried to acknowledge as many points of view as simply as I could. Hinting at a bunch of perspectives from both the people who love it and reasons why people hate it.

3. Also nodding towards the idea that “Spoonie” is easier to say than “Disabled”, and for some, the internalized “Disabled is a dirty word” has them opting to say “spoonie” instead. Often unintentionally. So I then tried to blur the distinction between the two a bit. Out of a desire to mae “Disabled” a more approachable word.

4. Alright, so the idea ”Spoonies are just one part of the disabled community.” I feel like I may have been able to communicate this, but when I drew the group image of various spoonies connecting from their beds, it might feel too “Any person with a disability can be a spoonie to some degree.” …..which makes me worried healthy people may eventually start projecting it onto people they meet with disabilities. Sort of a “I can help you somehow, here’s this info a about spoons! Did you know it exist yet? it could change your life!!” all while still disregarding the person their talking to.

5. The facial expression on my character for “My body is disabled and day to day living sometimes breaks my brain” -I could not figure it. For me, there’s a mixture of “slight embarrassment but I gotta say it” and “LET’S PRETEND YOUR ELSA IN “LET IT GO” AND YOU HAVE NO MORE FUCKS TO GIVE!”

or “calm. with no more fucks to give. A ‘deal with it’ sunglasses or vacant eyes and a slight smile situation”

then I’d go back to “Embarrassment, both crying and laughing from brain breaking, wants to have no more fucks to give but that’s just not true”

and I was worried that gave the wrong impression about being disabled. Yes, there’s absolutely truth to it. but after reading articles by some extremely well educated disabled advocate types, and a critique on the show “Special.” I wanted to try and set a good example- pretending I’m further along with coming to terms with what my life is than how I can be at times.

We’re allowed to feel like this is a mindfuck. It absolutely can be. But I don’t want to be seen as too whiny…

…. and I need to clean up my language so my 11 and 12 year old sisters can read. (Will be changing a couple words for the finished version that goes on instagram and webtoons).

6. Christina Miserandino seems to use to be very into tanning. When collecting photos, her shade of skin changed all the time. But it’s not “arianna grande” type stuff, just more so her genetic predisposition and past beauty habits conflicting with going through a lot in recent years and hasn’t been getting out as much, or caring about looks. I tried to capture a sense of her advocacy prime, with the purple, when she put a lot of work into her hair, her love of girlishness but with a slight edge to show maturity. Just going with a skin tone she’s had consistently in the past couple years- just because going darker would have been a lot more strange to those who looked into her now. (This one’s less of a concern and more of a…disclosure? Just felt weird to deal with).

7. I don’t know if any of you have ever looked through spoonie selfies, or disabled selfies. but we seem to LOVE DYING OUR HAIR. (It’s one thing we can change). Hair dye is having a moment in the world. So I hope the change of hair colors here and in the future is not taken the wrong way. It’s just really fun to use unique hair colors on characters. I will say, the reason the woman on the left side of the “Today a spoonie is” has blue hair, is because she’s Trans, it’s a wig. her hair isn’t where she wants it to be yet, she uses the hat because she couldn’t afford a lace-front wig. Yes, it’s hot on her head. but it’s easier than using energy to secure everything and make the top look nice. and it feels too fake looking when the top is not covered up……. And…yes, I realize this is all in my head and not conveyed or relevant at all- but that’s the backstory, lol. I gave her shirt the trans flag colors, but she didn’t seem like a pastel person and so I kept them darker, feeling like that’s what this character would like.

8. I included cutting scars on two characters because a few years back I had a friend who pointed out to me I always omitted drawing her scars. I wasn’t doing it on purpose, I just kept forgetting. But I felt bad. It seemed like including the scars was more empowering to her at that point in her life. That’s why they were included here.

9. I know some think “Spoonie” is just for those with Chronic illness. It can feel that way- it’s a large majority of Spoonies. But Christine herself said in an interview Spoon Theory can be used those with disabilities and Mental health conditions. Basically, whoever has a condition that causes fatigue.

When put that way- well, the panel that reads “Perhaps detached enough for misguided normies to think” -could happen.

(All the more reason to blur distinction between “disability” and “spoonie”?…maybe. but, that could alienate neurodivergents. And the blurred distinction between “Neurodivergence” and “disability” is…exploding as a topic currently. And I don’t want to contribute to more people thinking neurodivergence means “disabled” and therefore “broken”- that’s the opposite of what I want to do).

((Thus why there’s info supporting the idea throughout the rest of the comic “Don’t fix it. work with it. My situation’s just different.”))

Maybe the panel isn’t needed, but that’s how/why it came to be.

10. If there’s unhealthy mentalities portrayed in the comic that don’t serve a greater purpose, let me know. Unhealthy mentalities are great for humor, and getting to let someone else who’s going through the same type of thinking at times have comfort- but what I’m worried about is anything that is problematic.

11. If any of the terms I used are incorrect- such as places I use “conditions” to sum up- everyone who can be a spoonie. Let me know! It get’s really tricky at times when you have to make the statement as simple as possible to refer to a very diverse group with very diverse bodies.

12. I’m starting to put “mean stranger” type characters in colors without skin tones so that they can be applicable to more people, as being sick/disabled/neurodivergent is somehow in open invitation for the opinions of jerks. Drawing them all as Donkeys or “Asses” would be cool and clever, but too much work.

13. Because of Postural Orthostatic Tachycardia sitting with my legs down in a wheelchair is extremely draining, so I want to stop drawing that.

#critique #please #halp #so tired #brain gone ploop #what are words

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ghostsofmemories · 4 years

Text

Okay I have a rant about media, Disney in particular.

Yes. Many media companies are unethical in their practices, unoriginal in their creation, and poorly execute often stolen concepts. This is something we are all aware of.

However,

You, in particular, are not to blame for the decisions of a large media company and their unethical practices. You in particular should not feel ashamed for having enjoyed, thinking about, or currently enjoying media created unethically. YES it's very important to uplift and reward smaller companies and forms of media for ethical creation (and it's also important to monetarily support them if you are in the position to do as much), but you are still allowed to enjoy things made by bad practice.

Take Frozen for example. I was 9 when the first Frozen movie came out, and it's really the last childhood movie I had a strong connection to at all due to not remembering anything that happened between the ages of 10 and 12. My younger sister and I saw it in theaters on Halloween because it was freezing rain and we didn't want to go trick or treating and our presents agreed they didn't want to take us, either. As a set of kids who were losing a lot of things in a short period of time, me as a 9 year old beginning to close off due to recently discovered health issues, this film was a really big deal to me and my sister at the time. And who could blame an 8 and 9 year old for enjoying something made by disney? It's not like my parents were teaching us about ethical media consumption or like they knew anything about the concept in the first place.

So when Frozen 2 came out, we both wanted to see it because this is our childhood here. It felt like it was ending and the themes of the movie (some things never change, growing up, the fact that elsa an anna end up moving away from each other but still being family and best friends, and I mean Aurora Aksnes is in it, come on) helped bring a really weird form of closure to an experience we've been living through for years.

But we felt guilty about wanting to watch it, and then watching it, and then enjoying it, and then crying. We still kind of do, because we're supporting Disney in their huge media monopoly and helping end industries and kill small media companies and - oh my gosh I can't believe I ever enjoyed this thing in the first place, I need to stop consuming this media altogether and find other things to enjoy and-

No.

We as consumers are not responsible for what has allowed Disney to become what it is in the first place. What created this unethical media was a good story in combination with a capitalistic, stubborn society that refuses to change its ways. And are we a part of that society by refusing to stop consuming the media? Yes. But here's my opinion on the subject:

You can enjoy things that already exist and were going to exist with or without you. So long as you keep yourself educated and are not ignorant on the means behind the subject matter, who gives a fuck? Enjoy things. Life is short. You can join the revolution while also appreciating the beauty and ugliness and confusion that created the revolution in the first place.

There is no 100% ethical form of consumption under capitalism. There is no completely perfect, completely unproblematic piece of media that you're going to be expected to consume for the rest of your life. Yes, lift up small creators. Support them in any way you can. But in my personal opinion, too much of this all goes back to hating on things that young girls are the main target audience for. And it's a complicated issue that not everyone has the means to understand or the time/energy/money to fix. All of this media we consume on a daily basis goes back to either distracting from, feeling, or revealing human emotion and for goodness' sake, can we all just ease back and be human for a little while? Give yourself a break.

#hot takes on something i literally never talk about? on MY writeblr?#its more likely than you think #i just wish there wasnt so much media shaming #like.. are we going to get pissed at people for owning books just because trees were cut down to make them?#no. we encourage replanting #like this whole pandemic thing has kind of set of my play director who posted something on google classroom #he said that the internet has brought about a huge increase in chronic migraines #given many fascists and other bad groups places to safely be vocal #and even in some ways encouraged human trafficking #but without it there would be very limited ways to keep in contact with friends and continue our educations and in such a formal way #acknowledge the bad and enjoy the good #its not that difficult of a concept #politics #media #disney #frozen #capitalism #socialism

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littlerileyfitz · 5 years

Text

who: @lucachristensen , @littlerileyfitz \

when: sometime in July

where: Tangleton

warnings: there’s emotions and confusion and a long overdue confession

Riley walked towards the grand building her brother was currently working on renovating with a little basket in hand. It contained a rather large turkey sandwich, some homemade sweet potato chips an apple and a few freshly baked cookies Riley had gotten Freya’s help with. Oh and a water, because hydration was key. She was sure Julien was planning on buying lunch from somewhere nearby, but why not bring him a way better on instead? Opening the door to the building, she was quick to find her brother and hand him the basket with a hug and a kiss to his cheek. Sketch book in hand, she’d probably sit around a bit and wait for him to be done to hang out after. But as she turned around to find some place to sit, she was surprised to see Luca behind her, working rather hard on the reconstruction. And of course, for all of thirty seconds she just stared at the boy. Because this? This was absolutely unfair. The tank top, the slight glow of his tanned skin from the sweat he was no doubt producing... and oh, his hair. Their eyes finally met and she was quick to close her mouth, slightly mortified that she had been staring with her mouth open. Shaking away the thoughts, she send him a smile and a wave before approaching. “I didn’t know you were helping my brother out. I would’ve brought you some lunch too. Long day so far?” She wondered, blue eyes quickly taking one more sweep of him. “You look hot- like you’re probably hot! Overheated. It’s really, it’s warm outside. I should know, it’s why I’m only wearing... the dress.” Oh gods the rambling. She had to cut it off before it got bad. “I’m uh, I’m gonna stick around a draw for a while. If you don’t have plans for after your shift, I can show you some great places to cool off. If you want.”

Luca there was something about the simplicity of it all. the way he could lose himself in the physical action of just moving and building. if Luca really had the urge to take a look on the inside himself he would note that even with his frustration during the beginning of the summer. even with every annoyance and the beginning chasm he could feel in his chest when he thought of all the changes that had occurred in his life over the last few months. honestly, just fucking working had probably been the best thing about it all so far. he didn’t think about shit but the task in front. didn’t have the energy to feel like he needed to do something to quench boredom because he simply wasn’t fucking bored. it was sort of - odd and freeing at the same time. as he worked, he didn’t notice Riley at first, not until he heard her surprised words as he moved near. before he could get a word out, she just kept. talking. letting her get it all out, he just tilted his head for a second, scoffing in a soft chuckle before shaking his head. “it isn’t short.” he let out regarding his day while he lifted his tank to wipe some of the sweat from his face, choosing to ignore the way her eyes had traveled over him because yeah, he noticed. guess he couldn’t blame her. a lot of people were attractive around them. practically a fucking reflex. he did that shit too. and it really was fucking hot. “but yeah sure, we can hang out after.” it was almost an absentminded agreement to her thought before he moved back to taking care of what he was doing. he was focused on the work in front of him. there were only a couple hours left to his day and he was ready for it to be finished.

Riley laughed softly at his response, unsure if he was making a small joke or simply answering her question but regardless she found it funny. “I’m sure.” When he lifted his shirt to wipe at his face it took every ounce of self control the blonde had not to look down. There’s no way he was doing this on purpose, she had so many male family members that she knew this was just a motion all boys seemed to pick up through the years. But still it was just rude. So she just focused on his face, and gave him a bright smile when he agreed to hanging out after he was done. “Okay great. Just find me when you’re finished.” As he went back to his work she turned swiftly and once she was far enough away she let out a deep breathe, her cheeks growing a bit redder but she could just blame that in the heat. Finding a nice sitting area near julien, so she could talk with him while she drew, she opened her sketch book. Originally Riley had planned to try to draw the building, the straight lines and depth would help her gain some practice, but upon seeing the number of workers in the room all in different positions, she decided her usual quick outline of them all would be better. She always could use more practice with the human form, especially males. And when they were in unusual positions or in movement, it was even better. Taking a long sip of the water she had brought with her, she got to work, quickly forgetting about trivial things like boys and the weather and instead focusing on her sketch pad in front of her. Luca for a time, he just list his mind in the work. he didn't talk to the others too much besides offering a few suggestions or discussing things about the job. it wasn't too friendly but they weren't stand offish. apparently having one of their princes get you the job was enough for them to trust you. at least enough trust to work with him without a complaint. Luca had to admit, it was an interesting experience. Riley's brother didn't really get involved in the extreme heavy lifting but he was paying attention. speaking to the masons and the others for hours along with them all. had been there since they had all gotten started since sun raise. fucking weird. his observations were made while he worked until suddenly he wasn't working anymore and reaching for his ratty black tshirt that was more dark grey out of age. running a hand through his hair, he took a long drink of water before offering a smile head nod to the guys he had been toiling in the manual labor with before looking for Riley. it looked like she hadn't moved. her hands still moving over the sketch book with the afternoon sun as her light. clearing his throat lowly he just looked at her. "ready when you are." finally moved over his lips. "just as long as i can grab something to eat along the way. i'm fucking starving."

Riley had been on a roll, such a roll that she didn’t even realize the day had come to a close and Luca was ready to go. Hearing him clear his throat, the blonde looked up from her sketch book and turned to him with a smile. “Oh, perfect.” Closing it and tucking the sketch book under her arm, she stood up and joined him, walking towards the door as he spoke. “Yeah, definitely. I was thinking we could go to one of my favorite spots, and there’s a burger shack on the beach we’ll pass, if your up for that. But they have more than burgers. Hot dogs. Sandwiches. Really, really good homemade chips. And ice cream.” The girl had always stopped by the shack when leaving the beach and picked herself up a scoop of fresh strawberry. Passing by the long board she had ridden here, Riley figured she could leave it and just walk with Luca towards the cliffs. If anything send Julien a text and ask him to bring it home with him. “So how are you enjoying the work? And Tangleton? Better than Arendelle I hope.” Luca burgers sounded fucking perfect. even the fruit salad did if he was going to add on a little extra something but even with making pretty good money, he was careful with it. nodding his head in agreement to her plan, Luca just began to walk next to her silently. "mmm," was all he offered at her question at first. his silence still permeating the air between but this time it was in thought. honestly, Arendelle hadn't been the worst. or more like it could have been worse. he found a job or two. ignored Elsa and she ignored him mostly. ignored her idiot cousin. he supposed in the cousin's defense, he thought most people were idiots but if he had to pick a place, it would be Tangeton. it was a place he had been in before. a place he had faces he recognized and didn't totally hate. shit being able to finally see Aurèlie again was great. even seeing Riley was good. people he could stand. sure, he ended up meeting some grandparents from his mother's side and to be honest, it left a strange taste in his mouth. a heaviness in his limbs but a lightness in his mind. everyday he just got a little more confused about it. "i would probably pick Tangleton if i was choosing between the two." he finally offered up as he pushed his long hair behind his ear. "the beach is nicer. the company is better and at least the job is something -," he paused for a second on his next words. how could he explained it? it left him tired. it left him relaxed. he had never how to do mason work before but despite their initial apprehension they were teaching him. Luca couldn't describe how it made him feel but it was - "it's better anyway. i can say that much and your brother isn't a complete idiot. Julien anyway."

Riley of course a wide smile made its way across Riley’s lips as he spoke. She loved her home, it was her favorite place in the world and she loved it when other people enjoyed it as well. Plus, she knew from their talks earlier in their vacation Luca hadn’t really been having a good time in Arendelle, and she wanted to make sure that Tangleton was different. She just wanted him to have a good summer, everyone deserves that. The blonde let out a dry laugh as he semi compliment her brother. “Julien isn’t an idiot, he’s brilliant. He is so passionate about this project, it’s amazing to see it all come to life. And I’m sure he appreciates all the help you’re giving, even if you’re being paid to be here.” Steering them towards the beach she often found herself at when in this part of town, she suddenly realized the dig he had sent towards her other brother. “Elijah isn’t an idiot either.” Both of her brothers were very smart actually, the two definitely left some big shoes to fill. As they finally made their way to the beach, she motioned to the shack. “Food first or after? Are you like dying to get in the water?” She was, but if Luca was in need of food she had no problem eating first. After all, he was the one who had been doing manual labor all day long.

Luca definitely passionate. he had to say the other Fitzherbert seemed to care about the whole town so, that was probably a good thing. "yeah," was all he had to offer towards her addition about her one brother. it wasn't like he was not agreeing with her. still, that didn't stop him from smirking slightly when Riley noticed the dig he sent to one brother. that particular twin still left a bad taste in his mouth. stupid enough to pick someone other than Aurèlie was still the definition of stupid in his book. even if Luca didn't hate Lucy most days. he was still an idiot. "we can have different opinions on that one." he tossed up with a shrug, something good natured in his tone when he looked at her before moving his eyes to look at the the beach they had finally reached in their time speaking and walking. yes he was hungry but suddenly the thought of loosing himself in the water was a little too tempting. "i'll take the water first," he finally stated as he eyed the horizon before looking towards Riley again. "lead the way."

Riley she snorted, shaking her head at him. “Okay, whatever.” The way he delivered the line she knew there wasn’t much she could say to sway his opinion. And it was fine, she knew she couldn’t make everyone like everyone. Especially everyone like her family. “Perfect! Follow me” she announced, grabbing his hand and practically dragging him along with her, excitement in her voice as she led them away from the beach and towards the rocky terrain behind it. She was sure Luca had been expecting to just take a dip in the ocean, but she was going to take him to the cliffs. It was such an adrenaline rush and Riley was pretty sure she could go cliff diving for hours. She was also pretty confident that Luca was enjoy this part. “So aside from getting a job with my brother, anything new? I feel like we haven’t talked that much, which is weird considering you’re literally living down the hall. But that’s on me.” There were a lot of people coming in and out of her home lately, a lot of people she had to split her attention between. Especially with the fact that Baron had been in town for a week, she spent all those days with him. She was going to make an effort to really spend time with her friends. Especially while they were so close during this summer.

Luca he didn't fight her when she pulled him along. instead he picked up the pace a little bit, willing himself to not think about the fact that he didn't instantly pull away at her touch. over the last few months he had gotten, better about dealing with people touching him. still, it was something he mind never forgot to noticed. instead of dwelling on it, Luca slowly began to take in the fact that they were walking towards rocky terrain. suddenly his interest was piqued. "we both know it was on me." which was just a fact. if he could avoid talking to most people on most days that would be his preference. he didn't like to fill silences with words. didn't want to talk about how he still wasn't sure what he would do with his life. didn't have any answers he thought he had maybe been finding. don't even fucking get him started on trying to decipher feelings he had been slowly learning were just fucking lurking under all of his rage. it was so god damn exhausting. "other than that, nothing new. just living i guess." he added with a slight shrug. he didn't need to get into the fact that he had a conversation with Ranger. didn't really matter and he sure as shit didn't want to bring up the family stuff because, no. "getting a tan and i have time to write so, there is that. "

Riley “We can share the blame.” Sure Luca wasn’t one for conversing, she had learned that early on. But that didn’t mean the two still couldn’t just hang out together, maybe while Luca wrote and Riley painted. A comfort between each other. The blonde needed to learn to get better at allowing comfortable silences, instead of trying to fill it with conversation that may not be necessary. Looking back at him, she took in his appearance once more. He had mentioned he tan, it was he best time to subtly gawk. “It suits you.” Of course she’d argue that tans just looked good on everyone. As the altitude began to grow and the sand turned into dry grass and dirt, Riley knew they were close. And as she saw the cliffs before her, varying heights depending on how brave you were feeling, she held her arms out wide. “Ta da! Hope you’re not scared of heights.” Looking our towards the water, a giddy sensation filled her. “We’ve got 15ft as the smallest, next is 23ft and the highest over here is 30ft.” Pouring farther down the path, she spoke. “And if you’re feeling really daring I think one goes up to 45ft. Any preference?”

Luca He didn't add any sort of verbal confirmation to agree that they were both at fault but he did give her a nod. Luca huffed out a barely there laugh when she mentioned the tan looking good on him. He sort had the feeling they looked good on most people. His thoughts were pulled out of him when they stopped and Riley spread her arms wide. He would be lying if the 45ft cliff didn't sound the most tempting. "I'm thinking 45." He started with a smirk curving the corner of his lips. It had been too long since he could feel the taste of adrenaline. "Go big or go home. We both know i sure as shit don't wanna be going back to anywhere someone would think was my home so...." he let his words trail off as he reached for his shirts and pulled them over his head without even thinking about it and tossed it to the side. "Ready to show me how it's done?"

Riley That smirk on his lips told her she had done a good job. He was clearly excited for the prospect of cliff jumping and she couldn’t blame him. It was the best. “Sounds like we’re going big then.” She stated, walking over towards the cliff that was the highest, one she had only jumped off a number of times. She wasn’t scared of heights, but looking over the ledge always caused her stomach to flip. “Be prepared to be amazed.” She joked, stepping back a good few feet and letting the loose sun dress pool around her ankles to expose the bikini underneath. They’d come get their clothes later, she’d left them here plenty of times. “Three, two... ONE!” And without fear the blonde ran towards the edge, jumping at the last minute, a loud cheer leaving her lips as she fell through the air. Making sure to point her toes when she got to the bottom, the blonde embraced the cool water fully before coming to the surface. Looking back at Luca, it was hard to imagine she had just jumped from that height. “YOUR TURN!” Luca there was a thrill of excitement that struck up his spine. like the feel of electricity, it lingered in his bones when it spread to his lips, his very finger tips. for what seemed like months, he had either been feeling too much or too little. an empty maw between his mind and his body or it was so filled to the brim that he thought he would drown in it. but the excitement was different. the precursor to a rush of adrenaline. Luca didn’t try to stop the smile that took overtook his lips when he watched her jump. his limbs carrying him to the edge to watch as she reached the bottom. nothing but water to break Riley’s fall. the moment he heard the echoing call out to have him jump next, he was already backing up to take a running jump. for a brief moment it was like a free fall. he didn’t care how deep the water was. didn’t give two shits as the water washed over him, swallowing him down for just a moment. the urge to stay below the surface was strong but the urge to breathe was stronger. breaking the surface, Luca flipped his hair out of his face. he could feel the grin that tugged at the corner of his mouth when he spotted Riley and swam in her direction. “okay yeah.” came out a little breathlessly as he looked up to the cliff, salt water in eyes that barely offered pain, before looking back at her. “that was worth an it.” a laugh danced off his tongue when he spoke before nodding along to himself “and I am ready to fucking do it again.”

Riley watched as he jumped off the cliff and fell into the water, what looked to be a smile on his face the whole time. She wasn’t completely sure because he was kind of far away, but she liked to think this was something he enjoyed. Based on his previous reaction to the cliff diving, she was going to take the leap and say he was having fun. When Luca popped out of the water and swam towards her, she hung to swim towards him to meet him halfway. Looking backing up at he large cliff they had just jumped from, she turned back to him in surprised when she heard a laugh leave his lips. Blue eyes took in his features, the clear excitement on his face. He’s beautiful. she couldn’t help but think, getting pulled away from anything overly gushy when he said he wanted to do it again. “Okay well, let’s go. We can climb the wall back up.” She wasn’t sure if someone has made the foot holes in the wall to making getting back to the top of the cliff easier, or if it was just a natural occurrence. “I’ll watch, actually. I just want to float for a bit. You go.” She told him, moving into a back float position.

Luca eyeing her for a moment, he nodded in an easy form of agreement before swimming a way towards the rock wall. taking note where he could see the potential foot holes, he wasted no time in making his way back up. the burn in his muscles more pleasing then he could describe when he finally got back up to the top. running his hand through his hair, Luca pushed it from his face as he looked back down at the water below. again a smile pulled at his lips, that thrum of excitement still running through his veins. if given the chance he was pretty sure he would just keep jumping and climbing over and over again. taking a few more steps back then the first time, he wanted a good running start, he run towards the edge and flung himself off. it took no time to meet the water again. feel the rush of the wind against him as he slide between the softly lapping waves like fucking butter. it nearly stung his skin but maybe that was the best part of it all. swimming towards Riley again, he didn't say anything at first, a smile still tugging on his lips as he sat there for a moment. feeling the movement of the water. quiet. a buzz of a thrill still on his skin. after a few beats of his heart he finally let out a chuckle that was a shadow of a sigh but there was no exasperation in his. "thank you." he was sure if she would understand. it didn't matter. he was thankful for the moment.

Riley She couldn't stop the giggle that left her lips as she swam off towards the cliff. One eye open and squinting under the hot sun as she watched him climb. This was a good idea, this was something he needed. She knew him well enough to know he had probably been getting antsy. She was sure this was just the kind of adrenaline rush he needed. He took no time jumping off the cliff again. It's like when you're playing with a child and throwing them in the air, and it's freeing and slightly terrifying but they can't do anything other than laugh and say again, again. Once he came back up for air, and began to swam back to her, she moved so she was treading the water again, a warm, genuine smile slipping on her lips as he thanked her. She knew he meant it. "You're welcome. And now you know where it is. You know, if you ever need to just jump off a cliff into some water." She was pretty positive he'd be back. "Do you want to keep going or is it time for food?" Maybe it had been the adrenaline rush or just the hot sun beating down on her, but even Riley was starting to get hungry.

Luca the thought of being able to come back whenever he needed to fling his damn self off a fucking cliff was tantalizing. it was something he could absolutely see himself taking advantage of it. but the urge to climb again and go for another round of it was lost on him the moment she mentioned food cause yeah, he was fucking hungry. "food. definitely food." his lips twitched in a small smile before he let himself begin to swim towards the cliff. normally he would just swim to the shore but i figured he could enjoy himself one more time by at least climbing up. not to mention his shirt was up there and he only owned so many. the warmth of worked muscles was followed by the pleasing burn as he made his way to the top, noting that Riley had come along with him. reaching for his shirt, he didn't waste time putting it on, instead he slipped it into his back pocket, allowing to to hang out as he turned to look at his companion. "so i heard there were burgers that are good." his voice low but still calm. "lead that way before i resort to fucking cannibalism. since you're the only person i could eat. might be a little uncomfortable."

Riley "Mmm I had a hunch." She muttered, letting him lead the way out of the water. She normally swam to the beach from here, and let the sun warm her so that when she found her way back to her clothes on the cliff, she wasn't drenched, but she felt kind of rude just disappearing on him. So she followed him up the side of the cliff. This was one of the first times she had jumped off this summer, so her arms were definitely burning by the time she made it to the top. Letting out a soft sigh, she flipped all her hair to one side and began to squeeze as much water out of it as possible. She loved having long hair, but it was thick, and it held a lot of water. She was in the middle of that when she heard Luca's voice, pausing for a second before looking at him and letting out an awkward chuckle. She knew how he meant it, but she couldn't help her brain from thinking of his words in a different way. "They're good, I promise. No need to eat me." Gods, she was an absolute imbicel. Sighing and shaking her head, she finally grabbed her sundress and pulled it on, the fabric sticking to her body almost immediately due to her damp skin. It wasn't a feeling she loved, but something she was used to. In an attempt to break the awkwardness she felt, the blonde sent him a bright smile before saying, "race you!" And taking off down the cliff as fast as she could, bare feet be damned

Luca whatever he was expecting, it wasn't to be challenged just after her got his ragged shirt over his body. but that didn't stop Luca from running after her. his limbs burning as they made their way down. barely managing to escape the wayward branch and rocks as they got closer to the bottom. by the end he could feel his breath clinging to his lungs violently as he let out a quick laugh. "not what i was expecting." he admitted easily as he stood there to catch his breath for a moment. offering her a small smirk, he nodded his head in the direction he figured she was heading and followed her lead. whatever filler conversation they had was mostly background noise as they made their way. before he knew it there was fresh food in his hands and he was sitting down, waiting for her to sit with him. "i can tell this shit is gonna be good." he offered between them as he eyed the delicious looking burger in front of him. Luca's limbs still burned but at that point it was more a satisfying dull ache. his favorite. "this place was a good call."

Riley He might not have been expecting her to challenge him with a race down the hill, but a part of her wasn't expecting him to actually join her. Luca often, still even this far into knowing him, seemed far away from her. Like he was holding back, and even though she had no problem running down a giant hill, she wouldn't have been surprised if he just shrugged and leisurely made his way down behind her. Him following her in full force, it just felt fun. Playful. Like she didn't have to second guess herself of their interactions for once. And it had her smiling brightly as they walked towards the burger shack, chatting about anything that seemed to come to mind. "It's good, trust me. I know all the spots in Tangleton." She murmured, taking a bite of the basket of fries she had order for herself. The two sat in silence for a bit while they ate, her eyes flickering between Luca and the water. Today had been nice, relaxing. Actually, spending time with him in Tangleton had been the most fun, and carefree, and it had definitely just made those somewhat dormant feelings grow. Deciding it was time pussy up, the blonde took the opportunity to speak. "Not to get too deep here or anything... but I feel like I owe you an explanation for how I acted this year. Or, spring semester, specifically." She looked up at his dark eyes to gauge his reaction before continuing.

Luca the silence was oddly comforting. the sound of the beach near them as the water lapped at the shore. the taste of something insanely delicious on his tongue. yeah, he could get used to it. quietly he smiled to himself as he took his time eating. for once in months feeling an odd sort of contentment. before the summer, Luca was fucking lost. for the first time in his life he had contemplated a future only to realize what he thought it would be wasn't meant for him. in the long run, he understood. but that didn't make the pain of it any less. still, fucking Arendell and then Tangleton seemed to do him good. the exhaustion from working and the odd feeling of... building something was strange but.. a good sort of strange. Riley's words pulled him from his thoughts as he eyed her for a moment. truthfully he had been curious but he wasn't 100% he really cared or more importantly totally wanted to hear about something from spring but still... he of all people understood what it was like to finally s a y something that had been taunting him internally. "just so you know, you don't owe me anything but okay." he offered softly. his turned his attention to her after he wiped his hands on his jeans. if she was going to talk, he was willing to listen. "ready when you are."

Riley She chewed on the inside of her cheek for a moment, a soft smile pulling at the corner of her lips. "No, I do." Maybe he'd understand a bit more when she was done. Sighing, she sat up a little straighter and looked him in the eyes as she spoke. "Remember that night I came to your room and asked you to model for my art? And Aurèlie was there? That wasn't actually... why I was there. I had gotten drunk and had this false sense of confidence and decided it was finally time for me to come out" deep breath, "and tell you that I had feelings for you. But I saw Aurèlie and figured everything out and I couldn't, I couldn't say anything." She played with the ends of her hair, a slightly nervous tick she had gained over the years. "At some point between Halloween and then, I realized I liked you. And I kept it in. Especially after all of that. But it was really hard to be around you two. Because you're my best friends and I wanted you two to be happy, but those feelings didn't go away. And it was a constant tug and pull. I had to act like everything was normal. I wanted to be happy for you, but it was so hard because... I wanted to be the one you looked at like that. And I felt awful for thinking that. So it was just easy to distance myself, at least in the beginning. I was able to deal with it towards the end," the end of the relationship. "It's why things started to go back to normal, at least for me. And I'm sure you're wondering why I'm telling you all of this. But I told Aurèlie, and I need to tell you. Aside from the fact that you guys deserve to know the truth, I've been keeping all of this in for months and I just need it to be out in the open."

Luca almost like the sounds left the area around them, his mind focused on the words. there was a part of him. a part that could recall how they were before everything. before halloween. before all of it. when he danced with her on the dance floor at that ball that was almost over a year ago. that part of him, wasn't surprised. the part that was kissed when she was dressed in costume wasn't thrown for a loop but the rest of him. the rest of him didn't have a word to say as she continued. Riley just kept talking. laying it all out on the line when all Luca wanted to do was get up and walk away. step away from the table and way from what she was putting in front of him. resisting the urge to do just that, he stayed. he stayed and waited for her to finish. kept his comments to himself as he waited and swallowed down the jaw clench he could feel building in his bones. people were allowed to have feelings right? he had a shit ton.. even if they usually defaulted to rage rather than confusion. when she finished. when she ended what she had and there was a silence.. he ran a hand through his hair as he let out a breath he hand't known he had been holding. "thanks for letting me know." he started in a lame attempted to keep his crueler words at bay. she didn't deserve to hear them. no matter how he thought it was bullshit. sure, her getting it out in the open helped her. but what the fuck did it do for him but put something on him he didn't fucking want. still, she didn't deserve that. "but Riley -," he continued as he shook his head. "i can't." there wasn't a waver or doubt to his tone. he seriously just couldn't. "you don't know me. not enough."

Riley She could see all the emotions running through him, all the thoughts he was having and the mental decisions he was making. As the silence crept between them, the blonde instantly regretted having told him. Why did she do that? Why couldn't she just keep her mouth shut and let it go? It had been a good day, and here she had gone and ruined it. His jaw clench, his hands ran through his hair. She didn't know what to expect from him. She wondered if he'd just nod and go back to his food. Or maybe he'd just get up and go swim in the water and not say a word. He wouldn't scream, or shout, right? That was extreme. There was no reason for that. Or so she hoped. And then he spoke, and her brows were literally furrowing because how was that his response? She didn't think that's where this would go. "I don't know everything about you, but I know a good amount. And I know myself." I know that my feelings are serious. I know how I feel when I'm around you. I know I tried to get over it and I couldn't. She couldn't say those things, that's not what this was about. "But... this isn't about how I feel. I'm not expecting anything from you. I just couldn't keep it in anymore. And that might make me selfish but..." but shouldn't she be allowed to be? Once in her life. The girl who gives everyone everything, she needed to do something for herself for once. "I'm sorry if this makes things weird, I'm just - I'm sorry."

Luca selfish. that was a word wasn't it. narcissistic. egotistical. self centered. none of those were words he would usually describe the blonde in front of him as but that seething part of him wanted to to. smear the word across her skin the same way she tossed her love on him but it was a small part. the rest of him was just, empty. "don't be sorry." was softly stated as he pulled himself out of whatever dark mental hole he wanted to claw into and focus on her instead. "you're allowed to feel what ever you feel." a previous conversation with Aurèlie urged him on. one of the many other times she told him his feelings were valid even if extreme. maybe her's weren't extreme but still. "i just - don't." it wasn't completely true. he did have a special space in his heart for the girl. it was an obvious fact with him even wanting to snarl like a wounded animal.. he didn't. still, it wouldn't be like what she wanted. whatever she had cooking in her dreamy little head. he wasn't a prince and sure as shit had no interest in being. Luca knew he could dwell. he could wallow in this empty rage and simmer in darkness but for once he didn't want that. for a little bit things were finally looking up and he wanted something else. "but if it is good enough we can still be friends. i don't have a lot of those so it would fucking suck to lose you as one."

Riley Of course she was going to be sorry. Because she was a people pleaser, she didn't want to inconvenience anyone, and she could tell this was a lot for him to take in. But she didn't say that, she kept it in. She needed to stop trying to do everything in hopes of pleasing other. She needed to allow herself to be put first, at least once or twice. And that was echoed by his words. She was allowed to feel whatever she felt. A nod, partially to him, but mostly to herself. A confirmation of sorts. And that mantra, it was mentally sent right back towards him. She wasn't expecting a declaration of love from him. She knew it was a long shot, him returning those feelings, and she had told herself this enough that his response wasn't as hard to swallow as it once might have been. It still hurt, but, but she could deal with it. She could move on. So she sent him a smile, a slightly sad one, but a smile none the less. Because she'd rather have him in her life then not at all. "Of course it's good enough. I really do value this friendship." Suddenly feeling awkward, because this was a big confession and she now had to process the fact that he in fact did not return the feelings, the blonde abruptly stood up, grabbing the empty tray of fries to throw out. "I'm probably gonna go back in the water," it was still hot outside. "Join me when you're done, if you want."

#lucachristensen #auradonluca #d: the cataclysmic #dash

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distant-rose · 6 years

Text

It Was Always You

Notes: I am a woman of my word and may the record reflect that. I promised @forestiyari a gift if she completed some productive tasks and that gift is this little one-shot here. I’ve taken some cues from the wonderful @katie-dub and started a policy of positive enforcement. Which is why she’ll get a ficlet too if she ever finishes her fic. It’s sappy but I know that Amy loves fuckstruck!Killian and cop AUs and this kinda has those elements. This is more bounty hunter!Emma and detective!Killian. I apologize for the Killian focus on this, Amy, but I love him as much as you love Emma. Forgive me. A special thank to @welllpthisishappening for always being my cheerleader. I am nothing without your support. Summary: Four words completely change Emma Swan’s frienship with her favorite police detective Killian Jones when she drops off one of her skips on Valentine’s Day. Rating: T Word Count: 2,300+

As a bounty hunter in a big city, Emma has her choice of police districts to drop scum off at, but she has a preference for District D-14. This preference was born of a variety of reasons but mainly because it was close to her apartment and the fact its employees could actually brew a decent pot of coffee. It had absolutely nothing to do with the detectives who worked there, despite popular belief.

“Brought us another winner, eh Swan?” Detective Killian Jones asked as she unceremoniously pushed her perp onto his desk. He didn’t blink at the action, merely leaning back in his chair and chewed on the end of his pen as he regarded her. The perp in question let out a groan and glared at her. She ignored him in favor of giving the detective a smirk.

“Thought you would enjoy a Valentine’s Day gift.”

He eyed the tight red dress she wore with a tiny smirk of his own. “And what a gift it is. You look quite ravishing in red.”

“I meant the perp, Casanova,” she retorted with a roll of her eyes. Her words were stern but lacked heat. Detective Jones loved to flirt, but he was relatively harmless. He always backed off when she asked.

“Not that I don’t appreciate the thought, but I prefer my gifts to be, well, less criminally inclined. What did this guy do?”

“Oh you know, my favorite - credit card fraud, insurance fraud and hasn’t paid child support in two years. He’s quite the catch.”

A muscle jumped in his jaw as she listed off the perp’s less than stellar rap sheet. She had known Jones and his partner Nolan for three years and he always got this look whenever she brought in deadbeat dads. He seemed to have an intense hatred for them that Emma could only assume came stemmed from something personal.

“Right,” he sighed before he stood and yanked the man up by his collar. “Let me get Lover Boy here processed then I’ll get you the necessary paperwork, so you can finally pay your rent.”

“Actually rent is paid for this month. This guy is paying off my water bill.”

“I’ll make haste then. I would hate to deprive a lady of her hot water. It will only take a few moments. Make yourself at home,” he replied, nodding his head towards his swivel chair.

“Don’t mind if I do. New chair? Looks comfy.” She sat down in the chair in question, leaning back and grinning up at him.

“Only the best Ikea has to offer.”

Her eyes lit up at that. “You bought this yourself?”

“You really think BPD would spend money on the care and comfort of its detectives?” He snorted. “Come on, Swan, you know how it is. We had to pool the money ourselves for that bloody coffee machine you’re so fond of.”

“I know. I pitched.”

“Did you now?” He seemed surprised by this. She couldn’t imagine why. She was here all the time.

She shrugged, allowing herself to melt into the soft leather of the chair.

“I use it more than anyone else here, so I felt it was best that I threw in a few dollars.”

“You do seem to exist purely on coffee and poptarts, love.”

“Not true. I also feed on the tears of scumbags. They have great nutritional value.”

Detective Jones laughed at this. “Mercenary.”

“Bail bonds, actually. Get it right, Jones.”

“Can you please stop with the flirting and get on with the processing? I would like to be out of these cuffs now,” the perp gritted out through clenched teeth.

They both blinked, suddenly remembering Emma’s purpose for being at the station in the first place.

“Right,” Detective Jones said gruffly, pushing the man forward. “I’ll be back in a bit.” 

“I’ll be here,” she responded, picking up the stress ball on his desk and playing with it absently. She made a valiant effort not to watch his ass as he walked away with her perp. Jones had a swagger in his step that screamed confidence and Emma would be a liar if she said she didn’t enjoy it.

As the minutes ticked by, she finally noticed that Detective Nolan wasn’t present. She frowned. It wasn’t like him to not be on shift, especially during the week. Normally he made the wait more bearable by talking to her as he did his paperwork. She liked him a lot. He was like the big brother she never asked for and was always willing to lend an ear whenever she needed to vent about something, including his partner.

Along with her increasing boredom, she was beginning to regret wearing the thin jacket she had chosen to go along with her honey trap outfit. It looked great on her but didn’t do much against the bitter cold of Bostonian winter weather, even when she was indoors. Perhaps Jones wasn’t being glib when he said that BPD didn’t care much for the care and comfort of its officers. It was practically frigid.

She leaned back more in the chair, glancing up towards the ceiling. The back of her head made contact with Jones’s leather jacket - the same jacket that he had been offering and she had been refusing to use for the past three years. What she had seen as a symbol of Jones’s attempts of chivalry was suddenly a temptation.

He wouldn’t mind. That was the first thing that popped in her head. In fact, she was pretty sure he would like it. Perhaps too much. She bit her lip, mulling over what was more important getting warm or her pride.

She glanced around the station. No one was paying attention to her. It clenched her decision. She would wear the jacket, if only for a few moments to stave off the cold, then she would put it back and Jones would be none the wiser.

The smell of tobacco, rum and aftershave wafted up to her nose as she pulled the leather over her shoulders. She was shocked at how it seemed to swallow her person, especially since Jones wasn’t that tall. Unable to resist, she pulled the collar of the jacket to her nose and took a quick sniff.

“That’s a good look on you, love.”

She froze. Blood warmed her cheeks and a sense of mortification took hold. Taking advantage of the sliver of courage she still had, she glanced up at him, expecting to a teasing smirk or a flirty joke.

Jones wasn’t smirking. Or even smiling for that matter. He was looking at her like he had never seen her before; eyes watching her intently and shoulders tensed. She didn’t know exactly how to handle it.

Immediately, she pulled at the sleeves. His eyes widened when he realized what she was doing, and he stepped forward, raising a hand.

“Don’t.”

She paused, looking back up at him.

“Don’t,” he repeated. “Leave it on. It looks like you need it more than I do. Please.”

“You sure? It’s fucking cold in here.”

He shrugged, dropping the processing documents in front of her and casually dropping back in Nolan’s chair. His eyes never lost their intensity, still focused on her. She was almost ashamed at the fact it made her squirm a bit in her seat.

“The cold doesn’t bother me,” he said after a moment. “I’m kinda used it.”

“Good for you, Elsa.”

He smiled at her response and the strange feeling in her chest lightened at the sight of it. Some of the odd tension that between them lifted alongside his lips, which she was grateful for.

“Where’s Nolan?” She asked, trying to further expel the weird energy between them.

“Ah. He’s out with the lovely Miss Mary Margaret. No doubt romancing her with a bouquet of roses, a box of chocolates and a very expensive meal at an overpriced restaurant.”

“Sucks that he took time off while you’re stuck here.”

“Actually, I wasn’t supposed to be on rotation. I volunteered to take this shift. My mate Will, or Detective Scarlet as you know him, was supposed to be working but I took it from him, so he could finally perform that half-baked proposal he’s been putting off for weeks.”

Emma’s jaw dropped.

“You seriously volunteered to work the Valentine’s Day shift? For real?”

“Of course,” he replied, giving her an odd look. “It’s not like I have someone to share it with.”

“I don’t believe that for a second. I mean, look at you. There has to be at least a dozen women who would want to lock you down,” she responded, gesturing towards him.

Jones tilted back in his seat, letting out the most boisterous laugh she had ever heard. When he glanced back at her, his amusement was still quite evident on his face.

“Did you just insinuate I’m attractive, Swan?”

“Oh please, cut the bullshit. You know you are.”

“You’re right. I’m quite devilishly handsome, aren’t I?” His eyes twinkled with mischief as he spoke.

“Don’t push it,” she snorted. “But seriously, there has to be someone you’re remotely interested in.”

He sobered at bit at her comment, the tension in his shoulders returning.

“Oh, I am.”

“And?”

“She’s turned me down. Multiple times.”

“She tell you why?”

“No, actually. I just assume she’s not interested, which is fine. She deserves much better than the likes of me,” he replied with a self-deprecating smile.

“Don’t say that.”

“It’s the truth. She deserves the best.”

As he spoke, an odd emotion wormed itself into her chest and she was surprised with how uncomfortable she was about Jones being hung up on some unknown woman. It wasn’t like he was hers.

“Well, I think you’re pretty great. And maybe you should ask her again,” she responded with a tight smile.

“You think so?”

“Yeah. Maybe, she’ll realize that she made a mistake.”

Jones regarded her intently for a moment, picking up the rubber band ball on Nolan’s desk and started toying with it in his palm. It was a nervous habit of his that she had long since picked up.

“Do you like Italian?”

She couldn’t hold back her surprise at the change in subject. She didn’t know where he was going with this, but she decided to humor him. “Yeah. Who doesn’t?”

“There’s a really nice Italian place three blocks from here. A bit on the expensive side but worth it. Family owned. Would you like to go to dinner with me?”

Her jaw dropped at the question. She stared at him for a long moment, trying to find words but failing.

“I’m sorry? What?”

“You. Me. Good Italian. Tonight.”

“I’m so confused right now. We were just talking about how you’re hung up on some woman and how you should ask her out again and now you’re asking me out. I don’t understand.”

“Don’t you know, Swan?” he asking, eyes softening alongside his voice. “It was always you.”

All air seemed to rush out of her lungs as he spoke. The stress ball fell from her fingers with a faint thud but she barely acknowledged it. Not once in their entire conversation had she suspected the woman he was so hung on to be her. She always knew he found her attractive and enjoyed talking to her but never had she realized that his feelings had beyond simple flirtation and friendship.

It was true in the past that she had turned him down. He had frequently asked her to go for drinks with him after his shift, but he had always taken her rejection with an air of nonchalance, as if it had meant nothing.

Obviously that wasn’t the case if this declaration was as sincere as it seemed. Emma was a suspicious creature by nature, something her ex had left her with alongside her son. Immediately she began reviewing all of her interactions with Jones in her mind. Little things that she had always seen as signs of loyal friendship now seemed major. He had offered to look after Henry when she went to New York. He had encouraged her to get her degree in Criminal Justice when she had all but written off going back to school as too expensive. He had walked her through filing her restraining order against Neal. He had done all of this with asking for anything in return.

“I’ve gone and scared you, haven’t I?”

“I…” She couldn’t find the words. She couldn’t believe she had been so blind.

Jones was watching her intently, lips pulled into a tight frown. She had never seen him look so nervous. He placed the rubber band ball back down on Nolan’s desk.

“Right…” He looked away, tugging on his ear. “Look, Swan, I wasn’t proposing…I’m not even asking for you to return my feelings. I was just hoping to have dinner with someone I have come to care about. Look, just forget I said anything. I don’t want to make this awkward and ruin the dynamic that we’ve made. I value your friendship and I would do anything to keep it, I just” - “Yes.”

He blinked at her, obviously not comprehending what she had said. “What?”

“Yes,” she repeated. “I’ll go to dinner with you. At the excellently expensive family Italian place. And we can talk. As long as there’s cannolis. There’s cannolis, right?”

He stared at her again for a few moments. Slowly, a blinding smile spread across his lips and if her breath hadn’t been stolen by his words, it would have been taken by his smile.

“Yes, love, there’s cannolis.”

“Excellent.” She leaned back in his chair, regarding him with a small smirk. “I also have another condition.”

“Anything.”

“I get to keep the jacket.”

#captain swan #cs ff #cs fic #cs fanfic #my fic #my shit #it was always you

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breakingdownsu · 6 years

Text

Chorus Chapter Four

Note: This has been a busy week but I'm more or less back on track, thank goodness. I'm hoping to set up a blog soon to archive all of my writing in one place, along with any fanart I've received and anything else I've done over the last few years. When I started writing fanfics back in prehistoric times everyone had archives, webrings and mailing lists and I'm an old fashioned girl at heart sometimes. I'll link it once it's finished.

Double note: If you haven't already, I suggest you read A String of Pearls before continuing. Most of the OC characters I've written about there will be popping up here as well (and it includes the origins of Murder Pearl.)

…..

New to the list of things Steven had to be very worried about (along with Pearl's disappearance, the awful nightmares that were probably foreshadowing of something unpleasant and his dwindling supply of food) was that the unfortunately-named Murder Pearl would live up to that name at some point by turning on him.

As it was, she had found some sort of pole somewhere in the workshop and was methodically sharpening the end with blankly serene expression on her face. It was unbelievably creepy, and yet Ginger, who was sitting directly in the line of the sharpened pole should Murder Pearl decide to skewer someone with it, was calmly ignoring them both to fiddle with a holographic screen of data.

Complicating matters further was the third pearl in the workshop, the one Steven had healed with his magical spit. She was hiding under a table covered with a tarp, (and had been since she regained consciousness) the edges of her feet were the only part of her visible. He had been told in no uncertain terms by both Orthoclase and Ginger to leave her alone until her Jasper returned. He could hear her sniffling under there, and that was awkward on top of all the other awkwardness.

Distantly, Steven wondered if Garnet and Amethyst were worried. He had been gone for, he estimated, three days. They had left him alone during missions for longer periods of time, they had always been quite lackadaisical in this manner. He knew Greg would be worried by now, and probably Connie too. Sadie as well, and maybe the cool kids.

Maybe I should go back for a little while. Get more food, let everyone know I'm okay, tell them we have a plan...

Even as he thought about it he knew he couldn't. He was neck-deep in Homeworld's criminal underground, and if television had taught him one thing it was that criminals tended to disappear without a trace. If he left he probably wouldn't be able to find them again.

As he stewed, his stomach made its feelings known. Loudly.

Ginger swiveled in her chair.

“Are you unwell?” she asked, again with more curiosity than concern.

“Hah, no...I'm just kind of hungry...” he laughed nervously. Murder Pearl was also looking at him.

“Hungry?” Ginger asked, tilting her head and blinking owlishly.

“Yeah, uh...where I come from, we put things in our mouths....”

...he didn't miss both of the pearls flinching ever so slightly....

“...to give us energy and make us feel...happy, I guess. I brought food but I'm running kind of low now,” he finished.

Ginger hummed thoughtfully, and Murder Pearl laid down her murder stick for a moment.

“The higher caste gems ingest gallium and compound mix for recreational purposes,” Murder Pearl said. “I don't think it gives them energy...”

“No, it doesn't,” Ginger agreed. “But those are chemical...it sounds like the Steven requires...organic matter?”

“Just Steven is fine,” Steven piped in.

“I will think on this,” Ginger told him. “We cannot have you unwell at this stage in the plan.”

“Wow, okay, thanks!” Steven blurted out gratefully. It probably wouldn't be anything like a donut or a cheeseburger but at least it would be something...

Orthoclase burst into the workshop then in her usual loud fashion. At some point she had donned some sort of chain-link head decoration and painted triangles under her eyes, and the little kid in Steven for a moment reflected on how effortlessly cool she was. She was carrying what looked like a burlap sack and tossed out the contents on the operating table.

“Jasper came through for us,” she said with a careless but triumphant shrug. “Six pearls, all deregistered.”

Steven peered over at them, until Orthoclase beckoned him closer so he could examine them closely. One was cracked badly, one was covered in scratches but apart from that they were all in good shape. One was significantly smaller than the others.

“That's a seed pearl,” Orthoclase explained as Steven gingerly touched the miniature one.

“Seed pearl?”

“Yeah, it was the fashion for a while to make them smaller,” she continued. “Lasted about four orbits before they were discontinued. I thought they'd all been processed but I guess not.”

Homeworld really was a terribly strange place. Gems talked about making other gems in miniature, like some sort of weird hobby.

“Those two are damaged,” Steven said, changing the subject. “Can I heal them?”

“Go ahead,” Orthoclase said with a sweeping gesture. “Less work for me if you do.”

Licking his palm, he fixed the cracked pearl and then the scratched one. For good measure, he fixed the others too, just in case they had damage he couldn't see.

“Remind me to get you filling some tubes for me before you go back to Planet Whatsit,” Orthoclase said, sinking onto the couch and throwing one foot into Ginger's lap.

…..

A few hours and one fitful nap on the couch later, the pearls regenerated.

Steven ended up naming them (in his head) after the Disney Princesses because that was all he could think of. One of them (he thought it was the one that had been scratched to pieces) had a long elaborate braid that reached her ankles so once he had dubbed her Rapunzel the rest of them naturally followed.

The one that looked like she had actual gold threads running through her hair: Aurora.

The pale blue one in tattered indigo and the remains of a fancy hairstyle: Cinderella, obviously.

The silver one with the long white hair: Elsa. She was the one who had been badly cracked.

The pale green one with the red hair....he kept switching between Anna and Ariel. It was hard to know until she opened her mouth.

And the seed pearl, who stood no taller than Steven's waist....Thumbelina. (He knew it wasn't Disney but it might as well have been.)

“I assume you all know the plan,” Orthoclase announced, confusing Steven because not one pearl had said a word to anyone.

Still, they all nodded in perfect unison. Even Murder Pearl.

“Great. If you have any questions, ask Pearl. In fact, I have a question right now. What in Core's name are we supposed to do now?”

She punctuated her question by poking Ginger's shoulder with the tip of her foot.

“I have located a loom to centre our structure on,” Ginger replied, barely responding to Orthoclase's needling. “It is isolated, and large enough to shelter over fifty pearls.”

“Sounds great,” Orthoclase drawled. “What's wrong with it?”

“The owner will take some convincing...”

“I knew it...”

“But I believe we have something she wants.”

“Hm,” Orthoclase mused. “Okay, we can work with that. Get her on the line...”

“She won't respond. We have to go there ourselves. And she may not let us in.”

Orthoclase sighed, flopped across the couch. All the pearls kept their silence, but Steven noticed their hands and fingers moving gently. Maybe they were nervous. Steven certainly was.

“Well, we might as well try,” she said at last. “We'll go next cycle, suns are going down.”

With that, she was gone. There were crashing sounds in the back of the workshop where she was clearly setting up to work for the rest of the night. That left Steven alone with the pearls.

“So,” he began, addressing the one he dubbed Elsa. “I'm glad to see I was able to fix that crack in your gem...are you feeling better?”

“Yes, quite,” she said faintly. “Thank you.”

“What happened? Is it okay for me to ask, I don't mean to be rude...”

“That's okay,” she said in that same oddly serene way they all seemed to have of talking. “I was owned by several Jaspers, they did not treat me gently.”

That sick squirmy feeling was getting to be something Steven was used to. There were implications rife in that little sentence but he couldn't dwell on it, for the sake of his own sanity.

I need to find Pearl and get the hell out of here.

“I'm sorry,” he mumbled lamely.

“Not your doing,” Elsa replied in a way that was almost sweet.

“Did you fix my scratches too?” Rapunzel asked, so quietly he could barely hear her.

“Yes, I did,” Steven replied. “Is that okay with you?”

“Quite,” she said. “But my owner may be confused when I am returned. If I am returned.”

If. Why if?

“Why's that?” Steven asked, knowing he was going to regret it but unable to stop himself.

“She made most of the scratches.”

Steven looked away, struggling to find words. It was only then that he noticed that Thumbelina had at some point climbed down from her spot on the operating table and was kneeling at the gap between the floor and the tarp that covered the Jasper's pearl. She was silent but her fingers were moving. The sniffling that had been a constant since the pearl woke up had stopped.

…..

When Homeworld's suns rose again, they set out for...wherever they were going next. Steven ate the last of his rations, hoping Ginger would come up with something for him to do foodwise soon. They passed a checkpoint, and as usual Ginger was checked with that horrible machine.

“Why can't they just ask her to open her mouth?” Steven whispered to Orthoclase as they watched.

“Pearls won't open their mouths, even under orders,” Orthoclase whispered back.

Steven blinked. He hadn't really expected an answer, just assumed the officials did it to be mean.

“Why?” he asked, baffled.

“No-one really knows,” Orthoclase responded. “It's just some sort of pearl-wide trait, they can't do it even if they want to. It means you have to crack their jaws for checks and certain repairs, and they'd probably choose to avoid that if they could...”

With every passing moment, life just seemed to get bleaker and bleaker for pearls. Where would it end?

Ginger was rubbing her jaw when she was returned.

“I think that Topaz has a grudge against me,” Orthoclase said as they walked away. “And she takes it out on you. Sorry about that.”

“That's okay,” Ginger replied. She sounded tired.

They walked for a long time. The public transport system only brought them so far, and it was clear whoever they were going to see was well-off. The residences they passed got bigger and bigger the further they went, until they arrived at a truly enormous estate on the outer edge of the city.

Orthoclase whistled as she rang the doorbell.

“This is really something,” she hissed. “I feel like I'm going to be tossed in isopod just for being here...”

The door creaked open, and standing in front of them was yet another pearl.

“My owner is not taking visitors today.”

“Yeah, we figured that,” Orthoclase drawled. “But we have an urgent matter to discuss with her so we aren't going to let her blow us off.”

“Just close the blasted door, Pearl!” a voice shouted from inside the estate.

“I suggest you give her different orders unless you want me to yank her right here and now,” Orthoclase called back.

There was a moment of silence, during which Steven didn't know where to look. He hadn't expected Orthoclase to make outright threats...

...and then a sharp tapping noise heralded the arrival of another gem, who gently pushed the pearl out of the way. Steven looked up...

Lapis?

...no, it's not.

This gem looked much older, far more severe than Lapis even at her angriest. It put Steven in mind of the dowager queen of some exiled nation, or something. She was dressed in what looked like an evening gown, long and straight, and her hair was pinned back immaculately in a perfectly formed bun.

The pearl looked almost like a daughter or a younger sister of this dowager. She was dressed in a shorter dress with a fuller skirt, her hair simply tied back with a green ribbon.

Neither of them looked like the kind of gem Orthoclase would ever associate with.

“Give me one good reason why I shouldn't call the Amethyst squad,” the Lapis growled, squaring up to this gem who could easily break her in half.

“Well, Pearl? Have you got a good reason for her?” Orthoclase asked Ginger.

“Yes.”

The Lapis turned to Ginger, confusion masking her annoyance.

“We have need of your pearl's skills,” Ginger began.

Incredibly, the Lapis' face softened. She looked from Ginger to her own pearl and back.

“In return, we can offer you music that has never been heard by any gem before,” Ginger finished.

Orthoclase shot a look down at Steven, a what-the-hell-kind-of-plan-is-this sort of look.

But the Lapis sighed, straightened and opened her door fully.

“You'd best come inside then,” she said. “Don't touch anything.”

#steven universe #steven universe fanfiction #breaking down universe #a string of pearls canon #dehumanization #orthoclase and pearl

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sassasquashedgrapes · 7 years

Text

Kardashian Dreaming

Had the coolest/most bizarre dream ever.

I was seated at this meeting with Mama Kris Jenner, Rob was there and prolly the other family members, I can’t remember. And she was gonna hire me or wanted to hire me, and it was an interview or something am not so sure. But basically my role was to hang around the whole Kardashian-Jenner clan, be on the prowl on the stuff they do, find research backing up evidence that what they do is effective by science (but way better than David Avocado Wolfe levels, more classier and actually backed up by a medical doctor (hello, me!), and yes, blog about it.

Or ghost write articles whatever floats my boat. Basically tag along with them, maybe occasionally take their pics for Instagram/Snapchat as to back up the article I wrote or blogged, but not in a PA kind of way. I’m more like just like a third party observer, I am to be treated cordially and kindly, not like staff, whom I don’t like as some are bossy, snobby divas (must be competition syndrome who knows?).

I don’t get to be on the show either (Thank God, I wasn’t the type who wanted that sort of attention to begin with), but as a fan of the series, it’s a treat that I get a full-depth view of what goes on in the family for real and ahead from what’s aired on E!, way before everyone else gets to see it (of course I have a disclosure clause tho I can write anything, as long as Mama Jenner approves of the topic of course, like I report directly to her anyway and she does keep direct tabs with me on the stuff that I write).

Well, anyway, going back to the story: Then Kris goes for the jugular and looks me in the eye and says “we pay higher than 500 per hour”, kinda making me know she’s done her homework about me and that whatever I’m currently being paid for at my current job, she’s willing to pay me higher (lol. 600 maybe?) and before y’all start thinking, I knew deep down Mama Kris meant she was gonna pay me at least 600 US Dollars per hour just to “keep up with them”, and I had a fixed schedule of reporting 3-4x a week at least four hours to a maximum of 8 hours a day, as for specifics on time well, if there are evening events and if I’m free, I can go and would be paid double for night differential. All of which was pretty ok by me.

I learned in my 90 minute snooze that the Kardashian clan are actually pretty generous employers. Like you got free range around the house (of course you can’t enter the private rooms unless you’re invited by the owner to go in and there are CCTVs so they do know when PAs steal their stuff), you can eat whatever food is in the pantry (except stuff that’s labeled with the names of the girls if they’re saving it for later, like Kim writes her name on it labeled as “Kim” or “Kiki”, Kourtney uses a green tape label so you know it’s hers, shit this dream is so detailed, it was beyond!!!

Anyway, so I get the job yo’. I’m hanging out with Kanye West. He’s not even scary. He’s actually very nice and polite, not like the angry dude you always see on the telly.

So he’s going about talking being drawn to different kinds of wall graffitis (I swear I had no idea there were even types to begin with! Shit there it is on google, people I am just typing this website and googling it down now because I thought that dream was just crack but fuuuucccck nnnhhooo!!!) and showed me this wall written with words like yeezy (yes written in bold with no caps on the first “y”) and a quote, I can’t remember but I know it was a cool quote about believing in yourself and pretty profound one at that. It took me a while to realize while talking to this man that he was in the process of making his own font!! People, Kanye West was designing his own fucking Times New Roman y’all!!! Prolly use the letterings to put it on his shirts, on his album, have it sold on Microsoft Office or whatnot, this shit is superb I simply cannot!!!. It wasn’t a useless font, it’s like a relatable font that could be used for making a slogan, a poster, or heck even as a document paper if you don’t mind wasting some ink on the printer.

It was super genius, I tell you. I remember giving him feedback about it (because he asked me, that’s how cool the ‘Ye is, he gets feedback from the masses coz he wants to understand the common people!) that I liked the design on the wall except if I stood at a certain distance, I couldn’t read the first word written on top (I can’t believe I had the nerve to talk up to the ‘Ye) but he was super cool about it and admitted he hadn’t thought about that but was “going with the creative flow” when he was in the moment and having an artistic flair myself, I understood where he was coming from.

Next I’m in the gym. Now I’m pretty certain this is recent, I cannot confirm if Khloe is pregnant but she sure wasn’t working out either.

Out of the Kardashian sisters, she’s the one I genuinely get along with the best. She even calls me by my first name Kristina, opting not to address me by my middle name which Kris and Kim do as I didn’t want to confuse myself into sharing a nickname similar to my new boss (aka Mama KJ). I dunno but I clicked best with Khloe and could honestly imagine that IRL we could be really good pals. She does have one interesting habit: she always has to turn off the lights when not in use.

It’s weird because you think one: these people are ridiculously rich but are stingy with electricity? Two, shouldn’t the Kardashian/Jenner fam invest in motion sensor lights? And Three: according to Khloe, she started getting back into this habit to reduce energy in lieu of Climate Change (of course), and it used to be the one reminder her dad, the late Robert Kardashian Sr always made her do because, like me, she had a habit of leaving the lights on too.

So basically included on my job description was yep, turn off the lights each time I went out of a room or check if there are unused lights.

So one time I’m in the family gym, and Kim was there. Now out of all the Kardashian/Jenners (don’t tell Khloe ok, ORZ) Kim is my favourite. IRL she’s not tall, prolly around my height, but has a doll-face and is really curvy but small in the areas that matter. TBH Kim leaves me star-struck, very Kween- like: regal, formal, never losing her shit (unlike me the whole freaking dream sequence) but still approachable and likeable.

Out of all the Kardashian/Jenners, Kim is the most like Kris. Like literally Mama’s carbon copy, even in some mannerisms, except Kim is more reserved, polite, but still approachable without being intimidating, which that part is mostly like her Mom. Though Kim can be intimidating in a different way. Let’s just say both women have that Alpha air about them.

Kris Jenner is all business and is the the Queen Mom, kinda like my boss so it’s ironic I leave a job only to be hired by someone who resembles a lot of qualities similar to the former boss. But who can deny BIGGER and BETTER PAY?

As for Kim, I really can’t compare her to anyone I’ve ever met, but she’s definitely got an aura of being something extraordinary. Like Celebrity vibes. That feeling one gets when you’re in the presence of someone who is gonna either change the world or bring it to its knees and end the rest of humanity, XD.

Anyway, I’m in the gym and I dunno why but there are icicles on the machines (the elliptical, the treadmill, the bikes) I don’t feel cold or anything but it I chose to ignore it prolly coz I was astonished that there were icicles on the machines and yet no one bothers to turn off the AC and plus hello, I’m watching Kimye work out a sweat or rather, breathing cold air like some friggin’ Elsa with her long platinum hair which makes me miss own on bleached Khaleesi mane too. Kim’s working on the treadmill, she gives me a polite smile and nod, and says hello, addressing me by my middle name (it’s shocking because I’ve barely been in this house or at this job for long, and already Kim knows me by name and face. It’s like an amazing talent she and Kris have, they remember faces and names of people they’ve just met, whether you’re a Royalty or a servant, they’ll remember. They’re like natural politicians!).

Khloe asks me if I could turn off the lights, which was the gym, I dim it a bit, with Kim’s permission, of course. She doesn’t mind, she’s in her own zone. Breathing out cold air probably from those iced exercise machines I dunno (I believe I found new material for my writing blogs that I was hired for too).

I move on to another side of the gym, which is a lounge area. I see in the corner of my eye Kourtney having a informal business meeting with a blonde long-haired Japanese business dude who gives me Steve Aoki vibes, a translator (who is my friend Aira), and a bunch of other peeps lounging on sofas. I yell over to Khloe and tell her that someone’s in the lounge room and she goes over to me and says “Oh yeah, leave the lights on.” Laughs off and walks away.

I’m not close with Kourt tho. I don’t think we have bad vibes or anything, actually we’re the same age, it’s just Kourt and I never had a chance to bond because her top priority are her kids and we just never had time to chitchat, but I think she’s just as nice as the rest of the family, probably even more casual than Kim, but less chummy as Khloe. She did mention once that I’m a natural with kids even though I never baby sat any of the Kardashian kids, but they’re really sweet and they seem to like me well enough.

I’ve interacted with Mason, Reign, and Penny; they’re the sweetest kids, Reign and Penny always greet me with hugs, they’re super friendly. Mason’s already a big boy, so hugs are not in order and he’s usually somewhere off doing his own thing or hanging out with Scott aka The Lord (who doesn’t seem like the douchebag he’s normally portrayed as in the show). I’ve met North and Saint briefly as Kim was in a hurry, North’s a bit shy, she’s got the cutest smile tho. I just don’t think North warms up to people as easily as compared to Kourtney’s kids do tho. Saint is adorable, as expected, but it’s too early to tell how he’s gonna be when he’s older, but he’s so darn cute. Saint reminds me of this kid of a friend of mine who was just about the cutest darnest little kid whom I preferred to babysit over his naughty older brother, Andrei, hahaha!

And as for the Kardashian-Jenner girls. Well, all I can say is Kendall is by far the tallest and prettiest sister and has got the most amazing legs, but she’s moody as f tho. Like let’s say she’d walk in a room I was in, she’d ignore me (unless I’d be the first one to greet her, then she’d respond with a bored hi or mumble something close to it) then Ken would do her own thing like sit on a corner of a table or lounge on a couch and interact with her sisters but mostly looks bored as if she’d rather be somewhere else more interesting than at home, which is kinda disappointing since I’m a huge fan of hers, but I get her deal. She grew up into the whole limelight and unlike her older sisters, she never wanted any of it and if you asked her, she’d probably wish she was living a rather normal life. Plus the bad bitterness she has as a model and having to prove to everyone she’s a supermodel because people hate on her for the nepotism even though she really does work hard. Basically Kendall is the Kuudere of the Kardashian/Jenner girls. So I get her deal. But compared to Kun-Kuun Kenny, Kylie is more like the typical teen/Generation Z/late Millenial: Always on her phone, not really in tune with anything going on about in the house. I like Jordyn Woods tho, she’s really friendly and warm that you don’t get an air vibe out of her, like she’s genuinely a nice girl that you’re glad she’s there for Kylie. Maybe that’s the reason why Kylie’s got a lot more mellow than her older sister Kendall, since Kendall doesn’t have that sort of friendship from what I’ve seen based on that whole dynamic I’ve gathered in that 90 minute dream.

Oh, and as for Kylie being pregnant? Let’s just say, I can’t say :P

Lol. If I had to make Dere-s out of them

Tsundere Type A: Kourtney

Himedere: Kim

Formerly Kamidere/ but now mostly Dandere: Kanye

Yandere: Khloe

Deredere but really Mayadere: Rob

Kuudere: Kendall

Undere/Ultimate Shota: Kylie

Sadodere: Kris Jenner (for sure!! Lol)

That dream was so awesome!! Too bad I had to get up after dozing off when the alarm reminded me that I had to leave the house early because I had an exam. I woke up feeling shitty because I didn’t get enough rest and as I took a cold shower, it suddenly hit me that I had dreamed about this during that 90 minute accidental snooze and I found myself having to write it down, and added more of my personal in-depth thoughts because tho it was such a vivid dream that happened so fast, I’m amazed by how much insight I actually got based from those details that I decided to write it all down and post it on tumblr/twitter with hopes that I do wonder if any of this shit was accurate.

Hit me up to tell me what your thoughts are.

I’m out!

#keeping up with the kardashians #Keeping up with the Kardashians fan fiction #kim kardashain west #kim kardashian #khole kardashian #kourtney kardashian #Dash girls #kendall & kylie #kris jenner #KUWTK fan #kendall jenner #kylie jenner #yeezy by kanye west #yeezy

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cosmicsnowcryptid · 7 years

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Hey, I just wanted to say Hi because this is the first time I've found you. I love your art already, and I'm a coward so I'm asking anonymously XD So, how do you get inspiration for your art?

Well first of all, anon, you are not a coward. The “anons are cowards” sentiment is only for people who say hateful things. They spout vitriol and things that they would never say with their name attached, because they want to tear others down, but don’t want to face the consequences of doing so.

You, my friend, are no coward. You wanted to ask a question, and were a little shy or afraid, but you did it anyway! That’s pretty brave, anon.

Here’s my obligatory statement that I am absolutely an amateur artist and I’m still trying to develop my skills in any sort of meaningful way. However, I never, ever have a shortage of ideas, so I think I can speak on this. When it comes to inspiration, my biggest piece of advice is this:

When it comes to getting ideas for any sort of creative work, never dismiss a thought as stupid.

Seriously. Never. If something pops in your head, give it the time and attention it deserves before deciding whether or not it’s something you want to work with. You think it’s “stupid” or “silly” because it’s a unique idea, and your immediate response is to think, “that’s dumb. No one does that.” But that’s exactly the point! That’s how new and innovative things are born.

My weirder stuff isn’t really on here, but there are a few doodles that are different, and they all came from those silly little thoughts. I have a doodle of Darkiplier as Elsa, because I really like improv and riffing off of things, and I was teasing my favorite Dark blog on Discord with a bunch of silly headcanons and that one really took off. (I have a whole channel on that Discord for my stupidity now, by the way, because it just keeps going since I babble a lot. Really, I do. I’m super long-winded. Can you tell? Pfff.)

I have one of a Roomba that looks like a puppy. This is because, in all the social groups I’m in, I’m sort of considered the “resident smol”. Everyone thinks I’m pure and innocent and must be protected at all costs, and things are usually pretty tame when I’m around- not because I can’t handle nsfw, but because I just have this weird energy. The other day I ventured into a nsfw roleplay channel, and ended up starting a platonic group hug. It just happens. ANYWAY, I’m religious and like to tease them about being sinners. (Side note- if you ever see me call someone a sinner, it is 100% a lighthearted joke.) It’s sort of a running joke now that I have an army of Roombas to go through chat and clean up all their sin. So when we werre talking about how Darkiplier had to be pretty lonely, I suggested a companion Roomba that looked like a puppy, because it required no love but was still cute and a form of companionship.

Now, see, that was a super long-winded story, and most people who saw it probably weren’t there and don’t know the context. But they still enjoyed the silly thing for what it was. You can get inspiration from any weird thing and make it into something people will enjoy.

The most important thing, though, is that you enjoy it.

And that’s my #1 way I come up with what I want to do. I think of a thing that I want to see but doesn’t exist- or, rather, doesn’t exist in the context I want it to- and decide to make it exist. The piece I’ve been slaving over for my religion class is based on a quote I saw on the wall of a museum. I thought, “wow. She went through so much, and she never gets credit for it.” So I decided that I wanted to change that in my own, small way. I know that most people won’t be interested,since it’s related to religion, but that doesn’t bother me. I’m creating a thing I love to honor the legacy of a woman who was stronger than I can ever hope to be, and that’s something I’m passionate about. If you feel that tiny flutter in your chest when you think about something you can do, pursue that feeling. That’s your passion, and there’s no way to kill your spirit faster than to ignore that.

Sorry for the novel, there. I hope you were prepared for that when you hopped into my inbox. It sort of comes with the territory. Also, I know you were asking about me and I turned it into some sort of weird advice column, but people tend to ask the questions that they want answered about themselves, so I thought I’d share a little bit with you.

If you made it this far, thank you for sticking with it. Have a lovely day.

#TheOwlHasTheAnswers #anonymous #answered

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welllpthisishappening · 7 years

Text

Tripping Over the Blue Line (6/45)

t’s a transition. That’s what Emma’s calling it. She’s transitioning from one team to another, from one coast to another and she’s definitely not worried. Nope. She’s fine. Really. She’s promised Mary Margaret ten times already. So she got fired. Whatever. She’s fine, ready to settle into life with the New York Rangers. She’s got a job to do. And she doesn’t care about Killian Jones, captain of the New York Rangers. At all.

He’s done. One more season and he’s a free agent and he’s out. It’s win or nothing for Killian. He’s going to win a Stanley Cup and then he’s going to stop being the face of the franchise and he’s going to go play for some other garbage team where his name won’t be used as puns in New York Post headlines. That’s the plan. And Emma Swan, director of New York Rangers community relations isn’t going to change that. At all.

They are both horrible liars.

Rating: Mature Content Warnings: Swearing, eventual hockey-type violence AN: Honestly, just, like, eight-hundred things happen in this chapter. So thank you especially to @laurnorder, @beautiful-swan & @distant-rose for making sure all these things make sense. Hanging out on Ao3, FF.net & tag’ed up on Tumblr.

It was a dress again.

She was wearing a dress and there was a belt and that had probably been where she’d kept the walkie-talkie – not that he was thinking about where she’d been keeping the walkie-talkie for the last three hours, attention divided entirely between twenty overly talkative fourth graders and the way Emma Swan’s arms looked in the dress she was wearing.

He was an idiot.

He’d put his number in her work phone and she’d never called – she hadn’t even told him that he needed to be at this event today, Killian had just gotten an e-mail and shown up in Tarrytown only vaguely listening to Will and Robin’s comments on the car ride upstate. And the e-mail hadn’t even come from her. It had come from her assistant.

She had an assistant now.

She had a whole department now and events to run and a community to relate to and Killian had replied almost as soon as the e-mail had shown up in in his inbox, some sort of resounding yes that didn’t even try to mask his enthusiasm at the prospect of seeing Emma again. Even if she hadn’t called.

Robin and Will had been as obnoxious as ever on the walk down the hallway, bordering dangerously close to high school territory and Killian was more frustrated by that than by not getting a phone call in the last week.

“Look at him,” Will muttered, nudging Robin’s shoulder while one group of fourth graders moved out of the film room as soon as Emma had walkie-talkie’d back to him. They were all so loud. They hadn’t stopped talking in days, at least, and they’d only been here for a few hours. “Ready and willing to play hero for community relations.” “It’s not Emma’s fault there were more kids than she planned for,” Robin said reasonably and Killian only half heard what they were saying, mind a muddled mix of signing autographs and explaining concussions and trying not to drown in a seemingly endless sea of guilt and should-have-beens.

Will sighed, crossing his arm tightly as he sank into one of the now-abandoned chairs in front of the table. “Yeah, but this is all bordering a little close to…” He cut himself off when he saw Robin shake his head, glare practically making noise in the momentarily quiet room and Killian heaved a sigh, not even trying to mask the sound. “I’m sitting right here, you know,” he said, glancing towards Will, who at least had the good sense to look a little repentant.

“I know, that’s why I don’t understand what you’re doing.” “Try and make at least a little bit of sense.” “I mean,” Will said pointedly, sitting up a little straighter. “That this is all bordering a bit close to you feeling sorry for yourself all over again and either this community relations girl doesn’t know anything about you and Liam or she doesn’t care and I’m not entirely certain which one is worse.”

Killian sighed again, scuffing the back of his shoes on the floor. His skates were back in his locker, taken off as soon as he realized he wasn’t actually going to get on the ice, and somewhere in the back of his mind, he knew Will was right.

Emma must not have known.

She couldn’t have known.

She wouldn’t have asked if she had, would have known that each explanation and each enthusiastic question from every slightly hyped-up fourth grader was like getting cut by those same skates stuck in his locker – that moment playing out in front of his eyes again and again and again.

He wished he was on the ice.

Everything was a bit easier when he was on the ice and he’d be able to shoot at something, anything, and maybe work out some of this residual energy because the moment Killian had seen Emma that afternoon – in that dress with a walkie-talkie in her hand and a slightly overwhelmed look on her face – something in him seemed to audibly shift. It was just nerves. That was all it was.

And that didn’t make much sense either.

He was the captain of the New York Rangers – he didn’t get nervous. About anything. Least of all a community relations manager with bright eyes and a smile that seemed to cut through him and something in the way she stood that practically screamed she understood. He wasn’t quite sure what she understood, but he was certain she did.

It made him nervous.

“I don’t think she knows,” Robin muttered. Killian’s eyebrows shot up, the certainty in his voice catching him by surprise. “Gina heard through the whatever that she’s been in the league for years, nearly as long as we have, and she started in Vancouver and then went to LA for awhile and, well, if she was bouncing around like that she probably doesn’t know about Liam. It’s not like she was in the Metro. I mean, it was a big deal, and we all knew it was a big deal, but it wasn’t like...national news.” And it hadn’t been.

It had been front page of the New York tabloids – for weeks and Killian had avoided leaving his apartment as much as possible, far too focused on the playoffs and trying to get to the hospital when he wasn’t on the ice, doing his best to just sit there and wait and not actually meet Elsa’s worried gaze – but they’d only been in the league for a little while and Liam wasn’t the star he should have been.

Not yet.

There it was – the guilt Killian had been trying to ignore while talking to two sets of fourth graders washing over him quickly and suddenly and his breath might have actually caught in his throat when he heard his phone go off next to him, vibrating on the imitation wood of the table he was sitting on.

Will stared at him, eyebrows drawn low and lips pulled into a tight line and Killian ignored him, fingers flying across the screen of his phone, answering Elsa and her questions about the start of the season and she did this every year – tried to make him feel better and calmer and she probably had some sort of sixth sense now, some feeling in the back of her mind that would perk up whenever he was feeling particularly sorry for himself.

“I’m just saying,” Will continued. “Seems kind of weird that she’d ask us to do this part and not actually get on the ice.”

“She didn’t,” Killian said and he could feel both of their gazes on either side of his head, certain Will’s jaw had gone just a bit slack for good measure.

“What?” “She didn’t ask. I volunteered us.” “Why?” Killian shrugged. It was a good question, one he wasn’t entirely certain he had an answer to and he glanced towards the doorway to find Emma sitting against the far wall, walkie-talkie strapped to the belt around her waist and a smile on her face while she talked to Mary Margaret and David. His phone vibrated again and Elsa was absolutely a psychic – some sort of other level magic apparent in each letter of the message, like she knew him or something.

“So what you’re telling me, Cap,” Will pressed, pushing himself out of the chair and tugging on the bottom of his jersey. “Is that we could have gotten on the ice today, shown off a bit, and you locked us in the film room to answer questions? Why?” “You already asked that.” “And you didn’t answer.” Killian ran his hand through his hair, tugging at the nape of his neck and pulled his lip in between his teeth, wishing Robin and Will would leave and stop asking questions he didn’t have answers to.

Or questions he didn’t want to answer.

Will shook his head when Killian didn’t actually say anything, shooting Robin another look for good measure and groaning when he didn’t get anything out of him. He rolled his eyes and this wasn’t even high school anymore, this was middle school. Will sank back into the chair like he’d just been told he couldn’t go to recess or something equally absurd.

Killian heard them talking in the hallway, leaning forward to try and actually make out what he was saying, but Robin clapped him on the shoulder and he twisted his neck around. “Don’t do that,” Killian said, ignoring his phone, buzzing almost incessantly next to him now.

“I’m not doing anything,” Robin promised and it was the most honest sounding lie he’d ever heard. “And you should answer El.”

“She thinks we’re in practice anyway, she can wait.” Robin clicked his tongue and Killian knew the lecture wasn’t done, had lived with Robin Locksley as some sort of pseudo-older brother from the moment Liam got hurt to that very second and he wasn’t entirely convinced this wasn’t a plan they’d come up with themselves.

“Did she ever actually call?” Robin asked and Killian shook his head. “Ah, well, she had a whole community to plan for.” Killian hummed in the back of his throat, staring at his shoes and he hadn’t actually ever moved his hand out of his hair. “You know Will’s not intentionally trying to be a dick.”

“I know that.”

Will scoffed in the background, possibly sticking his tongue out, but at least making some sort of face and Killian rolled his eyes. “Try not to check him too hard tomorrow, Arthur’ll make you skate sprints for half an hour if you do. And your legs won’t be able to hold up to that kind of stress.” “Thanks for that vote of confidence.” Robin chuckled under his breath and Killian saw the ends of his mouth tick up. “Ah, well, you’re old Jones. You know that new kid said you were his favorite player growing up. That’s got to sting doesn’t it?” “That’s just because he didn’t say you were his favorite player.” “Ass,” Robin laughed, eyes darting towards the door and the lack of fourth graders and Emma was sitting by herself, Mary Margaret leading a single-file line of nine-year-olds away from her. “She really probably doesn’t know.” “Probably.” “You should probably tell her.” “We’ll see.” And this time it was Robin’s turn to roll his eyes, gaze shooting towards the ceiling and the very expensive piece of film equipment screwed into the plaster or whatever and even Will made some sort of disbelieving sound.

Elsa had texted four times in a row now and Killian was certain the most recent one was in all caps even before he actually moved to grab his phone. Robin put his hand back on his shoulder and looked at him as intently as Killian could ever remember, something important in his gaze like he knew this was important and Emma Swan was important and none of it really made any sense.

They’d talked three times – well maybe four if they were counting the current conversation they were having via walkie talkie.

He’d volunteered them into the film room without even being asked.

And he could feel her eyes on the side of his head, like she was trying to come up with a reason to talk to him or not talk to him and she hadn’t actually moved away from the wall yet.

“It’s not a bad thing, Cap,” Robin said and that might have been the first time he’d called Killian that in ages, the title or the nickname or whatever it was, speaking louder than any other word he might have been able to come up with. “You’re allowed things.” Killian eyed him meaningfully – trying to ignore Will completely at this point – and of the few people who knew the truth about the accident, knew the truth about her and what he’d wanted before, Robin might have been the last person he expected to try and talk him back into wanting something again.

It had been a weird day.

Robin shrugged, as if that settled that and he wasn’t telling Killian to jump back into some metaphorical deep end of emotions and wants. He wasn’t convinced he wasn’t already halfway drowning in them, certain he could describe the green in Emma’s eyes after three conversations and a few stolen moments glancing at her in the hallway and he was a sentimental fool who always wanted more than he deserved.

His phone buzzed again – five straight text messages now and Elsa was nothing if not insistent.

“Answer, El,” Robin said again.

“And ask if the twins have figured out to hold a stick yet,” Will added, not sounding quite as bitter about spending the day in the film room as he had before.

“They’re four,” Killian muttered. “And if you don’t think Liam’s had them perfecting their stick handling since they’ve been able to stand, you don’t know him at all.” Will laughed, standing up and walking towards the door with Robin close on his heels. “Nah, got to make ‘em defenders. Both of them.”

The sixth text message came as soon as the words were out of his mouth – as if Elsa had heard Will’s decree from the other side of the country and wasn’t particularly pleased with the idea – and Killian nodded dismissively, barely moving his eyes away from the phone as he heard their footsteps retreating towards the hallway.

There was a little bubble on the screen now – seventh text incoming and Killian probably shouldn’t have replied to the first one, because now Elsa was going to get answers whether he wanted to give them or not.

She was good at that, had always been good at that, especially when they were kids. And for as much as she loved Liam, in some sort of capital ‘T,’ capital ‘L’ true love kind of way, Killian and Elsa had always been kindred spirits, never quite entirely certain or entirely confident and she might have actually been his best friend.

He’d never tell her that.

Alright, who is she?

That was text message number one. Text messages two through five were along the same lines, mentions of Liam’s refusal to actually say anything except that she worked for the team and that Elsa knew there was more to the story.

Text message six was vaguely menacing.

I’m serious, KJ. If you don’t answer now I’m actually going to call and I know you hate talking on the phone. So I expect an answer in three seconds flat.

He hadn’t answered in three seconds flat, had been ignoring her completely for the last three minutes, and, well, he supposed he deserved text message seven.

It was a picture.

Of the twins.

Of the twins in uniform – his uniform, the slightly smaller-than-usual ‘C’ on the shoulder making that blatantly obvious – and they were holding a sign in between them with hastily written letters as if she’d barely had time to swipe the pen across the page before thrusting the paper at her four-year-olds and making them pose.

Uncle Killian, the sign read , stop being a jerk and ignoring mom and tell us about the GIRL.

Killian rolled his eyes, but he was smiling in spite of himself and Elsa probably already knew she’d won, using the twins and the vaguely ancient nickname as ammunition in this text message war they were staging. He typed out the response quickly, only glancing away from the screen long enough to see Robin talking to Emma and he ignored whatever his stomach did at the sight.

Way to use your kids to your advantage, El. Seems like cheating.

Yeah, well I had to pull out the metaphorical big guns because you weren’t answering.

I am kind of busy.

Talking to the girl? Oh my God. Who even are you, right now? This is Anna-territory, not you.

That’s low.

You made a sign and put your kids in my jersey. Look who’s calling who low.

I didn’t put them in the jerseys. They did that on their own. Something about the season starting and it was all very adorable.

Killian bit his lip, stomach flipping again and the jealousy and the want was back and he should probably actually talk to Gina about his contract and what he wanted or didn’t want and he was looking back into the hallway again before he could stop himself.

She was still talking to Robin, eyes focused on her shoes and mouth twisted into something that looked almost thoughtful. He needed to leave this room. He needed to get off this table. And maybe get some of that food she’d mentioned.

His phone made more noise.

KJ you still haven’t actually told me anything. Liam said something about the team and that’s all I was able to get. Come on, I’m going nuts.

She wasn’t. Killian knew she wasn’t – far too preoccupied with a very impressive job in the state department and that was why they’d moved to Colorado in the first place, picking up and leaving New York with only a few week’s notice and settling into some picturesque life.

Elsa was smarter than both Killian and Liam combined, the ridiculous number of degrees on her office wall a testament to that, but she was also nicer and better and, well, still his best friend even if he’d never actually told her.

She probably knew anyway.

You should probably stop calling her a girl.

So this happening then? You still sound like Anna.

She’s just as curious as I am.

Jeez. No, this is not happening. Liam wasn’t lying El, she works for the team and she just got here and...no.

No?

No.

Why not? Something about professional decency? I don’t think so.

I shudder to imagine what you do think.

Rude. I think if you’ve already talked to Liam about her then you like her. It’s not automatically the same, you know.

Killian gripped his phone a bit tighter than normal and resisted the urge to run his hand through his hair or try and flex his left hand.

She was right – it wasn’t exactly the same, mostly because she’d never actually worked for the team or been on the team or really been involved in a team at all, just by association, but there’d still been that connection and she’d still died and somewhere along the line Killian had started associating Milah with hockey and that probably wasn’t healthy.

It was also probably why Robin had looked at him like some sort of charity case before walking into the hallway.

He took a deep breath and loosened his grip on the phone, mostly so it didn’t snap in half.

We’re not doing this, El. You and me or me and her. Don’t listen to Liam or Robin and especially not Scarlet if he somehow decides to get involved in this anymore than he has. She and I are friends, that’s it.

It took a few moments for Elsa to respond, almost as if she were trying to decide the best way to word her response.

She have a name, at least?

Emma. Her name is Emma.

“Permission to come aboard?” a voice asked from the walkie-talkie he’d almost forgotten was still sitting on the table.

Killian blinked once, nearly dropping his phone, and he glanced towards the hallway and Emma, standing there with a walkie-talkie in her hand and a slightly nervous smile on her face. His phone made another noise and he ignored Elsa again, vaguely aware that he hadn’t even told Liam what Emma’s name was.

He reached blindly behind him, fumbling for the walkie-talkie and pressing the button so he could actually respond. “I think that’s just for ships, love,” he said, the nickname falling out of his mouth before he could stop himself and he winced slightly when he realized what he’d done. She didn’t correct him.

And her smile didn’t look quite as nervous anymore.

He moved again, twisting slightly on the table until he was turned towards her completely and he knew he was smiling too. Idiot. He was an idiot. And barely treading water in the deep end of these particular emotions.

“10-4,” he added and Emma took a step into the film room.

She hooked the walkie-talkie back onto her belt and his eyes didn’t leave hers while she walked towards him, sinking down on the table next to him instead of the enormous chairs and padded seats he expected her to pick.

His phone buzzed again and Killian barely suppressed a groan as he grabbed it, flicking the volume off before tossing it towards one of the empty chairs in front of him.

“Popular guy,” Emma laughed softly, nodding towards the phone as the screen lit up again.

“Not really,” he argued. “Just my sister-in-law.”

She hummed in the back of her throat, nodding in understanding as she narrowed her eyes slightly. “And her name is...what does that say?” “El. It says El. It probably should say Elsa. Since that’s her name. I’m pretty positive only Liam calls her that though. Well, him and Mr. and Mrs. Vankald, but they don’t really count since they’re her parents. I mean they call Liam ‘William’ and…” He cut himself off, lip caught tightly in between his teeth, and it really was far too easy to talk to her, bringing up Mr. and Mrs. Vankald in conversation number four as easily as if this were conversation four hundred.

Not that he was keeping track.

That would have idiotic.

And he wasn’t an idiot.

He was the captain of the New York Rangers. As if that proved anything more than he was just fairly talented on ice with a stick in his hand.

Emma glanced back up at him, eyes not quite as narrow anymore and just as green as he was certain he remembered. She smiled again, something bordering close to encouraging, as she tugged on the ends of her hair.

“And Liam,” she said slowly, hardly blinking when she looked at him. “He’s your brother, right?” Killian nodded. “Yeah. Older.” Emma bit her lip and the smile wavered just a bit. He could practically feel the nerves rolling off her and that wasn’t right at all. Killian lowered one eyebrow, head tilted and hand on hers and they might have both jumped slightly at the contact.

Or maybe that was just him.

He wasn’t really breathing.

“What’s the matter, Swan?” he asked, voice soft and low and she’d stopped looking at him. “Today went pretty well, better than that even if the kid’s reactions were anything to go by. They seemed pretty thrilled to be here.” “That was because they were excited to meet you.” He made a noise in the back his throat, a contradiction without actually saying any words. “And the reason I was here was because of you. That’s why any of us were here. You planned all of this and dealt with twenty more kids than you expected and none of them missed out on anything. They even got food.” “I wasn’t going to let them starve,” Emma mumbled, but the ends of her mouth had ticked back up and her eyes darted towards his face.

He still hadn’t moved his hand.

“Exactly.” “Thank you.” “For?”

Emma waved her hand in front of her like that was supposed to prove something and Killian felt himself smiling even more when she shifted, letting out a soft oof as she tried to pull the walkie talkie off her belt with one hand.

“Swan?” he asked, finally pulling his hand off hers and moving it to the far less appropriate spot on her hip as he tugged the walkie-talkie off easily. “What exactly are you thanking me for?” She made a face when he threw the toy with its counterpart and Killian raised his eyebrows again. “You made that look easy,” she said, voice sounding a little accusatory and he shrugged in response.

Emma shook her head, hair moving over her shoulders and she took a deep breath. And those nerves Killian had felt coming off her just a few moments before had settled into the pit of his own stomach, concern etched on her face like she was nervous about the conversation they weren’t really having yet.

“I just...thanks,” Emma repeated, sighing again when she realized she hadn’t actually answered the question. “For this.” “This?” “Jeez, you’re really going to make me work for it, huh?” Killian shook his head, both hands back at their very workplace-appropriate spot on his side, and he glanced at her out of the corner of his eye, letting her work out whatever she was actually trying to thank him for.

It’s not like she knew.

She didn’t know about Liam – he certainly hadn’t told her about Liam. And, somewhere in the back of his mind, he knew, even if she had, he absolutely would have shown up anyway and still volunteered to answer questions and entertain twenty more fourth graders than they’d originally planned for.

If only to just make sure she kept smiling like that.

Idiot.

And he’d told Elsa her name. He’d never hear the end of it now.

And that same, stupid voice in the back of his mind knew immediately – he didn’t really want to.

“David told me,” Emma said, rushing over the words and if that was the explanation Killian didn’t really understand it. “He told me, just now, I mean, about Liam and what happened and...I just, ugh, I wouldn’t have asked if I had known. So thank you and I’m sorry and, well, mostly thank you because I really didn’t know.”

She was babbling, hands moving quickly in the tiny amount of space in between them and by the time she’d stopped talking, lip pulled back tightly behind her teeth and eyes practically boring a hole in the floor, she’d somehow worked her way closer towards him until their thighs were almost touching. The air, suddenly, felt very heavy or maybe there just wasn’t enough air in this film room and Killian was half surprised no one had come looking for them.

Emma was still staring at her feet, shoulders tight with the nerves Killian could still feel and he probably shouldn’t have moved his hand to her shoulder, but he did and she didn’t flinch. She looked up at him.

“You don’t have to thank me for anything, Swan,” Killian said, doing his best to make it sound like the promise it was. “Honestly.” “I just didn’t know.” “So you mentioned.” “I wouldn’t have asked if I had known.” “You didn’t ask,” he pointed out, hand tightening unconsciously until his thumb brushed across her shoulder blade, dangerously close to the strap of her dress. “I volunteered. And volunteered Scarlet and Locksley.” “That’s true.” “So there’s not anything to thank, really.” Emma hummed and she didn’t look particularly impressed with his answer. “What?” She shrugged. “You could have said something, you know.” “About?” “Are you being difficult on purpose or just because you think it’s cute?”

He felt one end of his mouth tick up and Emma’s eyes widened slightly when she realized what she said. “Are you telling me I’m cute, Swan? Because that seems to go against this whole on-ice persona I’ve created over the last few seasons. That’s disappointing.” She rolled her eyes, but she was smiling now and the tension was gone as quickly as it had come.

And it had never been this easy before, talking and teasing and he was smiling too – it had never been this, not even with her and those few months with her and there was probably much more to that, but Killian resolutely refused to even acknowledge it.

Even if the phone in front of him seemed intent on doing the exact opposite. It seemed to light up every other second, a different name flashing across the screen now and that wasn’t even fair – Elsa had called in recruits and now his entire inbox was threatening to blow up with questions and comments and opinions from Anna.

That felt like cheating.

Elsa had been right – and so had Liam, if he was being honest – he’d never really dated anyone on the team, had barely even dated within the league, but she’d changed everything and now he had rules and regulations and he shouldn’t be smiling at Emma Swan if he wanted to follow any of them.

Milah Onde showed up in his life like some sort of ridiculous hockey cliché about getting hit against the boards and cross-checked in the back and he’d do it all over again without even thinking about it.

She hadn’t been wearing the ring and the papers weren’t quite legal yet, but she wasn’t really married either and they’d been able to rationalize it easily – mutterings about escaping that life and living her life and how she was taking control of what she wanted.

Milah had wanted him and Killian had wanted her and a few weeks after Liam had been admitted into the hospital she’d barreled into his life like a breath of fresh air that helped loosen that tightness in his chest just a bit.

She wasn’t part of the team, didn’t work for the Rangers or the league, but it didn’t seem to matter. Her husband did. One of the biggest names in hockey and hockey ownership and he probably had more money than God because he’d just sold the Islanders when Killian met Milah on 23rd Street and she hadn’t been wearing the ring.

He didn’t know.

And once he did, he didn’t care.

It was good – perfect – for those first few months and he got back on the ice and actually started to skate without having to try and he almost didn’t feel guilty when the season started and Liam wasn’t on the line next to him. Almost.

She made sure he didn’t.

Then the phone calls came and the e-mails and the courier-delivered messages with a seal on them like it was 1846. And it wasn’t quite as perfect and Killian was just as worried as he’d ever been, emotions focused on Milah and the way her eyes dulled just a bit with every warning – ultimatum – demanding she come back and that he wouldn’t sign the papers and that he knew, whatever that meant.

They should have listened.

Or called someone.

He should have made sure. He didn’t. He kept skating and scoring and there were reports that he was a lock for the Hart.

They stopped worrying.

And that had been the mistake.

He never would have been able to prove it, could never know that it was anymore than the drunk driver the police report claimed it to be, but he could see it in her eyes and her quick gasp when the car came around the corner, ignoring the light and the horns and she turned towards him just a second before impact, muttering I love you in his ear.

She was gone.

Just like that.

So he’d come up with a set of rules and regulations as straight and stringent as the blue line when he stood on the ice before the anthem, keeping him on track like that was some way to remember Milah.

He’d never won the Hart Trophy.

Emma bumped her arm against his, shaking him out of whatever vaguely depressing reverie he’d been staging and she was still smiling.

“I think you ruined that on-ice persona yourself,” she said. “You were the talk of the fourth-grade town while they were walking out. They were more excited about you than the pizza.” “I almost forgot about the pizza.” “That’s the food I mentioned.” Killian nodded and he still couldn’t quite believe no one had come looking for them – actually, no, he could and he should probably thank Locksley later, almost entirely certain that was his doing.

“Really though,” Emma continued, voice going a little softer when she started talking again. “You could have said something. I would have understood.”

“That would have decidedly brought down the mood of the day, Swan. How’d you even find out?”

“I told you, David.” “Ah, but that doesn’t just seem like information he’d just throw out without a bit of prompting. Sounds like you were talking about me, love.” Emma rolled her eyes, but her cheeks got slightly redder and he was fairly positive he wasn’t imagining it. “Apparently we’re some kind of hot gossip commodity.” Killian lowered his eyebrows, confusion written on his face and Emma’s smile turned a bit sardonic. “He wanted to know why I didn’t call you.” “What?” She shrugged. “Apparently it was a whole train of discussion and this team is insane, by the way, because it absolutely started with them.” “What?” he repeated, tugging on the hair just behind his ear. “Wait, you mean Locksley and Scarlet?” She nodded, leaning back on her palms as she glanced back at him. “Fuck,” Killian muttered. “I’m sorry, love, I, uh, I wasn’t bragging about it or anything if that’s what you think. I wouldn’t...I wouldn’t do that.” Emma snapped back up, spine going almost dangerously straight and she looked at him like she’d never seen him before. “I know that.” “Yeah?” “Yeah.”

And he absolutely believed her, something settling in the pit of his stomach that felt distinctly like want and absolutely broke every rule he’d ever come up with. “Good,” Killian said, resisting the urge to ask her why she hadn’t actually called.

That felt a bit like pushing and in the, now, four conversations he’d had with Emma Swan he’d realized one thing almost immediately – she didn’t like being pushed.

His phone lit up again and this time it was Liam’s name on the screen and the entire cavalry had arrived, determined to make sure he was happy or something equally absurd and maybe he didn’t actually want to get traded to Colorado if this was any sign of how much family he was going to be subjected to once he was there.

“You can answer that, you know,” Emma said, nodding towards the phone and Liam’s face. He’d left a voicemail. Of course he had. Had probably gotten the twins to talk too just to make sure Killian called back.

“He can wait. They all can for that matter. Until about twenty minutes ago they thought I was on the ice. I really shouldn’t have answered El in the first place. Rookie mistake.” Emma laughed, pulling her legs up closer to the table and they were dangerously close to each other again, just a few inches of space between her dress and his jeans and he probably could have put his hand on her knee if he wanted to.

He wanted to.

He also didn’t do it.

“Ok, so Elsa,” Emma said slowly, tongue darting along her lower lip and he didn’t notice that either. Of course not. “She’s your sister-in-law? That means she’s married to Liam, right? Unless there’s another sibling I don’t know about.” Killian’s mouth dropped open slightly and he could almost feel the air rushing out of his lungs, the genuine interest on her face taking him by surprise. She pressed her lips together tightly when he didn’t answer fast enough and that feeling in the pit of his stomach was replaced with something decidedly different – dread.

“Sorry,” she said quickly, brushing her hair off her shoulder and shaking her head and her eyes had fallen back to her shoes. “That’s...I don’t even know...so not my business at all. Sorry. Just forget I even asked.” She was halfway to standing up, eyes darting anywhere that wasn’t him and Killian moved before he’d even really thought about it, turning on her so his hands were on Emma’s shoulders and his knees hit up against hers.

“It’s fine, love,” he muttered. She looked at him. “Really. And there’s no other sibling. Not technically, at least.” “Technically?” “Well, I’m not sure how much David actually told you when giving you my entire life story,” he started, moving his eyebrows quickly when she reached out to smack his shoulder lightly, “but Liam and I were on our own when we were younger. No mom, negative amounts of dad and we got very, very lucky.” “How?”

“The Vankald’s never actually adopted us, which all things considered is probably for the best, but they were about the best foster parents you could ask for and we stayed there while we were growing up. They had two daughters, which is where the technically comes into play.”

Emma moved, trying to shift away from the hands that were still on her shoulders and Killian dropped his arms back to his side as soon as he realized. She took a deep breath, fingers ghosting over the chain around her neck and the tension was back in an instant, stronger and more insistent than it had been before.

“Swan?” Killian asked softly, ducking his head to try and get into her eyeline and she jumped when he spoke. “Are you alright?” “Fine,” she answered quickly, too quickly to be true, but he didn’t even try to argue. He wasn’t going to push. Not yet.

Not ever.

There were, after all, rules.

Emma took a deep breath and he wasn’t sure if she was nodding to try and convince him she was actually fine or trying to convince herself, but it didn’t really matter either way when her eyes pulled back up towards him and he couldn’t really think straight when she did that. That probably should have felt like a problem.

It didn’t.

She pulled her head back up and stared straight at him and shifted half an inch forward until her knees were brushing his thighs and he’d lost his train of thought completely.

“So,” Emma said pointedly and Killian didn’t argue the redirect of the conversation. “You had sisters then?” “Technically.” “Technically. And why is it good that they never actually adopted you?” “That would probably make Liam and Elsa getting married somewhat uncomfortable.”

Emma’s laugh seemed to sink into every single one of his muscles and maybe even his bones and the scars on his left hand and Killian silently wondered when he’d become such a sentimental fool. Or when he wanted to trail his fingers across her arms and find out why she’d brushed off fine as quickly as she had. “It probably would have,” she agreed, smile inching across her face. “When did you move in with them, if you don’t mind me asking?” “I don’t. I was eight, Liam was eleven. El was ten, although she never actually acted like she was a kid, and Anna was eight too. But she’ll tell you that probably shouldn’t count because we moved in three days before her birthday.”

“So you’re the youngest?” Killian nodded begrudgingly and there it was – the determination that had been fostered in him from three quasi-siblings and an almost family making a bit more sense than he wanted to admit as soon as Emma asked the question.

They cared. Too much. And they’d probably destroy his phone battery, but it almost didn’t matter because they’d always done this.

Mr. and Mrs. Vankald used to call them the four horsemen when they were growing up and it wasn’t the insult it sounded like – they were a team, that’s all. And this team looked out for each other, even when the youngest one was being ridiculously stubborn.

“That’s nice,” Emma muttered, sounding as if she was talking half to herself.

“It was. Is. They’re just very insistent.” “When did Liam and Elsa get married?” “Two seasons after we got drafted, almost as soon as Liam got discharged from the hospital,” Killian answered automatically, wincing slightly when he realized he counted time in seasons and not months or actual years.

“I do that too.” “What?” “Tell time by seasons and playoff appearances.” Killian laughed, hand moving back to her shoulder and Emma still didn’t flinch. She didn’t move her eyes away either, just smiled and waited for more information like she was genuinely interested in the family he’d stumbled into.

“I always thought it’d happen,” he mumbled, not entirely sure he was talking or just admitting to something he hadn’t ever said out loud and Emma didn’t stop him, just raised her eyebrows and waited for him to continue. “When we were kids, I always kind of knew. And then he went to school and she used to go visit him and that wasn’t weird, we grew up together, but then we won a title and everything kind of snapped into place.

El was there through everything while we were growing up and neither one of them will admit to it, but I’m fairly certain they dated the entire time he was in Minnesota. So we got drafted and we came home and that made that easier and he asked the day after rookie year ended, used his signing bonus to buy the ring and even asked Mr. Vankald for his blessing. Anna was over the moon, of course, which is probably half the reason why it happened so quickly. She was a planning fiend. El and Liam just had to show up.” “Makes it easier,” Emma said softly and Killian nodded, thumb brushing across her skin again.

“That’s definitely true.”

“Sounds a little like Reese’s and David, actually. They saw each other and it was as if the rest of the world had never existed. I’m surprised we’re only getting around to a wedding now, if I’m being honest.” “They’re getting married?” he asked, mostly surprised that Ariel hadn’t told him the news as soon as it had happened. Or before it had happened. This team talked far too much for its own good.

Emma hummed in the back of her throat, pointing at herself before she spoke. “Maid of honor.”

“Really? I look forward to seeing you forced into some sort of bridesmaid’s dress, Swan.” “You think you’re going to get invited to this wedding, then?” Killian shrugged and he could see the teasing glint in Emma’s eyes and this was easy – she was easy to talk to and laugh with and maybe they could be friends. If he didn’t want to kiss her. He absolutely wanted to kiss her. “Eh, not really,” he said. “I’m mostly just confident that someone on this team will be and there’ll be pictures and no one on this roster really knows how to keep their mouths shut.”

“Yeah, I’m starting to pick up on that,” Emma admitted. “Is that why Will was so angry at me?” “Was Will angry at you?” “Seemed to be.” “That’s just Scarlet,” Killian said quickly, trying to brush the worry off Emma’s face and it only half worked. “He’s got all those penalty minutes, you know, just a lot of pent up aggression. He’ll be better once the season starts.” “And you?” “What about me?” “Do you also suddenly switch personalities once the season starts?” “What would make you think that?” Emma shrugged, moving on top of the table again and wincing slightly when she kneed him in the thigh. “Sorry,” she muttered. He just shook his head. “I, uh, I’ve just known a good amount of hockey players and hockey guys and things seem to change once the season starts. Preoccupied with goals, literal and figurative, and you guys are, like, on some sort of Cup quest, right? Ruby told me.” “Of course she did.” “You know I’ve never been part of a Cup team,” Emma mused, tugging on the bottom of her hair. “It’d be kind of cool to see.” “It’d be kind of cool to win.”

“You said Ruby told you about PR, when we were being set-up. Did she tell you how I ended up in New York?”

Killian opened his mouth, the lie and the no on the tip of his tongue, but Emma was staring at him and there was an expectant expression on her face that almost looked like hope and he snapped his jaw shut before the words came out, nodding instead. “Yeah,” he said. “She said you’d been in LA when Gold showed up.” “You know Gold?” “Of him,” Killian answered and that wasn’t entirely a lie. It wasn’t entirely the truth either. An omission.

“That was my second team, you know,” Emma continued. “I had never even seen a hockey game before David made me watch the Rangers and it was like someone flipped a switch on my life. I watched every game with him, drove Reese’s mad, and I was just...obsessed. So I went into PR because that was all I could do and I went to Vancouver and begged for a job and wouldn’t leave until they gave me a seat at the metaphorical and literal table. I stayed there for four seasons and then went to LA and they gave me a department and then they just decided, one day, I didn’t deserve to have it anymore.” She pulled her lips behind her teeth, glancing back up at him and she clearly hadn’t meant to talk that much. He was glad she had. And he wondered why she felt like she shouldn’t, but that felt dangerously close to pushing and emotions and there were rules .

There was a blue line to follow.

“You have a department now, Swan,” he pointed out, squeezing her shoulder slightly before he could come up with a reason not to.

“Community relations is different than PR.” “So you get to make forty fourth graders happy instead of dealing with press releases and making sure we all look good for the cameras.”

“As if you’re not already painfully aware that you look good for the cameras.” “Was that another compliment, love? You’re going to do dangerous things to my ego.” Emma quirked her eyebrow and the tension was different this time – not nervous or anxious, but eager and hopeful, like they were standing on the edge of some sort of knife and they’d had four conversations, were having their fourth conversation, and he shouldn’t want as much as he did. He did. Want. And maybe need and Elsa’s text message seemed to flash in front of Killian’s eyes like some sort of neon light that maybe, maybe, this was actually ok.

She hadn’t moved his hand off her shoulder and he didn’t think he was imagining the way she was leaning forward, inching into his space and her knee hit his thigh again.

It was because she’d started talking about the Cup, he reasoned, about wanting to win and never being on a team like that before. He could hear it in her voice, the way it shook slightly, that she’d never really had anything like that – knew as soon as she’d looked back up at him that there was some sort of even ground here.

She’d stumbled into something too.

And everything seemed to shift, something that felt like determination seeping into him. She hadn’t said anything, but he knew, Emma had lost something too, or maybe never had it to begin with, and if she could find that in New York, could find that on this stupid team that was far too involved in each other’s lives than was actually healthy, then he was going to help make sure she did.

It was a strange conclusion to come to in the middle of the film room.

“You did a good thing here today, Swan,” Killian said, nodding slightly like that helped prove his point. “And if this is only the first thing you’ve planned on a week’s notice, then I can’t imagine what you’ll do with a whole season. I might even enjoy Casino Night.”

Emma’s laugh was shaky at best, but it was a laugh and there was a smile and that was really all he’d been trying for. “Thanks,” she muttered and he hummed softly, thumb moving in that same, small semicircle on her shoulder. “Can I ask you a question?” “Of course.” “David said you blamed yourself.” Killian raised his eyebrows, waiting for the rest of it and it never came, Emma’s mouth set in a thin, straight line. “That’s not exactly a question, Swan.” “Yeah, I realize that.” He pulled his hand off her shoulder and ran his fingers through his hair, squeezing the back of his neck tightly, trying to come up with an answer to a question he hadn’t really been asked.

The answer, of course, was that he had – still did – every time he stepped on the ice or thought about the game or considered what winning the Cup without Liam would actually feel like. Because, no matter what anyone had told him – Liam or El or Anna or even Milah – it had absolutely been his fault.

He’d taken the shot and he’d missed the net.

“Killian?” Emma asked softly and his head snapped back up, eyes wide and her voice didn’t shake that time. She just smiled and her hand fell on the front of his jersey, brushing over the extra patch underneath his shoulder.

“Yeah,” he said simply. Emma sighed softly, the ends of her mouth ticking down slightly as her fingers tightened on the fabric on his jersey. “It just...he never really got a chance. We’d been to the playoffs once and never even come close to a Cup and, you know, it’s fine now. He’s in Colorado and he’s got El and a family and it’s Rockwell-esque levels of perfection, but this was his sport. He’s the reason I’m here and I took that away from him.” And just like he knew Emma hadn’t meant to talk that much about the teams she’d worked for, he hadn’t meant to talk that long about Liam. Or talk about Liam at all. He should have talked about the season or goal-scoring or how close he was to making it into the top five in points and he could have smiled and done that thing with his eyebrows that always seemed to work and hadn’t worked yet on Emma.

It wouldn’t.

Because they’d both said too much and it was only their fourth conversation and neither one of them could seem to stop talking.

He should probably just suck it up and ask for her number at this point. Her real one.

“That’s ridiculous,” Emma said and there was a determination in her voice that Killian appreciated more than he probably should, that extra glint in her eyes that seemed to settle in his very core.

“Ah, well, so is thinking you don’t deserve your own department or the chance to relate to the community.” “You don’t know anything about me.” “You don’t know anything about about me and you’ve already thrown out two different compliments and then told me I was ridiculous for feeling guilty about ending my brother’s career.”

Emma scoffed, but her hand hadn’t fallen away from the ‘C’ on his jersey and there was probably some sort of deeper meaning there that he didn’t really want to consider. She shrugged and tilted her head and it might have actually been the most adorable thing he’d ever seen, photo of the twins in his jersey notwithstanding.

“Those weren’t really compliments,” Emma argued. “I’m choosing to take them that way.” “Ah, well, to each their own, I guess.” He smiled, hand moving up to wrap around Emma’s wrist and her eyes widened slightly at the contact. “Although I’m not disagreeing to the last part.” “Which part?” “The part where it wasn’t actually your fault that Liam got hurt.” “You can’t say that.” “I just did.” “You didn’t even know what happened until David told you.” “Semantics.”

Killian hummed in response, eyes falling back down to the fingers he still had wrapped around her wrist and she hadn’t tried to shake him off yet. He could feel his mouth moving the longer he stared, falling back on smirks and bravado and that was comfortable. He needed comfortable because he couldn’t quite breathe.

“There’s pizza, you know,” Emma said and it sounded a bit like a whisper and maybe she couldn’t quite breathe either.

“So you mentioned.” “It might be gone by now. Actually. Robin said he’d save slices so Phillip didn’t steal all of them. Something about him being a rookie.” “I think I’ll survive if there isn’t any pizza, Swan.” “Good,” she sputtered, eyes falling back to her hand and his hand and she was biting her lip again. “That’s good. And you were really good today. Like above and beyond the call of duty.” “We’ve been over this, Swan, it wasn’t a big deal.” “Yes it was.” The sincerity in her voice brought him up short, unexpected, but not entirely unwelcome and he shifted towards her half a step, shuffling over the small amount of space that was still, somehow, in between them.

She couldn’t really move her legs – dress making it difficult to move at all – and Killian felt his breath hitch in his throat when Emma figured a way around it, sliding off the desk and coming up just in front of him, certain he could feel every inch of her.

“Thank you,” Emma said again, hands falling back towards her side and that didn’t do much to help put any actual space in between them.

There were rules. He’d come up with rules.

He’d almost explained them entirely to Liam and Elsa and Emma hadn’t ever actually called him back. He didn’t care.

And he was a greedy asshole who wanted.

Killian wanted her – had since Ariel had screamed his name two weeks ago and he’d spun on the spot and he didn’t care about the set-up.

“Ah,” he said slowly, rocking back on his heels and brushing his hand over his face. “Well maybe you can find a way to repay me.”

He knew it hadn’t worked as soon as the words were out of his mouth, knew it wouldn’t work before the words were out of his mouth, but Emma smiled anyway, something flashing in her eyes when she tilted her head and looked at him speculatively.

God, he was still wearing a jersey. What a fucking ass.

“Yeah, that’s what the ‘thank you’ was for. And the pizza. But mostly the thank you.”

“There might not be any pizza left.” They’d found some space between them, Killian still leaning back and Emma was half sitting on the desk again when she brushed her hair off her shoulders. She blinked once, shaking her head before she actually said anything, almost as if she couldn’t believe they were having this conversation. He couldn’t either.

Idiot.

They were tempting fate – someone was going to come look for one of them soon – and he didn’t care. He wanted to kiss her. Badly. And he was fairly positive he didn’t imagine the way Emma’s eyes moved down, glancing towards his lips.

“Please,” Emma muttered. “You couldn’t handle it.” Killian leaned forward again, resisting the urge to wrap his hand around her hips and that belt. “Perhaps you’re the one who couldn’t handle it.” It felt like everything froze – both of them staring at each other and chancing glances at respective lips and he’d never been this nervous in his entire life, not before the National Championship or before he got drafted or his first game.

One look from Emma Swan, however, and Killian Jones, captain of the New York fucking Rangers was frozen to the tiled floor under his sneakers, eyes wide and breath short and this was idiotic. He should just ask for her real number and fuck the rules and maybe they could go to a restaurant that wasn’t somehow directly associated with this stupid team.

He didn’t get a chance.

He was half a breath away from it, half a breath away from apologizing for whatever had just happened in the last few minutes and telling her pizza, whether it was there or not, was fine, more than enough, but then she grabbed the front of his jersey and moved back off the table and he really could feel her everywhere.

He could feel her lips on his.

Emma Swan was kissing him.

Fuck.

He was still frozen. He needed to move. He needed to react.

And he did – meeting her half a second later, fingers finding their way into her hair and his left hand falling on her hip and she hadn’t actually let go of his jersey, pulling him closer to her until he was groaning against her mouth.

Emma was pressed on her toes, one hand gripping the front of his jersey like it was some sort of hockey-based anchor and Killian nearly gasped when he felt her other hand wrap around his neck and push against his hair and the whole goddamn world was spinning. Or maybe resetting on a slightly different axis.

She rocked against him, pressing away from the table and he could feel her sigh softly when his hips hit against hers and for half a moment Killian forgot about the rules and the forty fourth graders on the other side of the practice facility and, fuck, they were an hour and a half outside the city.

He couldn’t breathe.

They should probably breathe.

He didn’t really want to.

Emma moved again, shifting her hand slightly until her fingers worked their way towards the laces of his jersey and she pulled away for half a second, shoulders heaving and, no, that wasn’t right. She didn’t have to stop.

He didn’t want her to stop.

Killian moved first and it was greedy and needy and a slew of other adjectives that didn’t belong in the film room of the New York Rangers practice facility, but it made sense too and Emma moved with him when he started kissing her again. She tugged tighter when his tongue brushed against her lower lip, fingers tightening around the nape of his neck.

And it was absolutely tempting fate, teasing whatever force ruled the entire universe and seemed intent on making sure Killian Jones never got exactly what he wanted because he wanted Emma Swan and someone was bound to interrupt them.

He just didn’t expect it to be Roland Locksley.

“Hook,” he yelled, skidding to a stop just inside the door. Killian jumped – actually jumped – and tried to not look like someone who had just spent the better part of the last five minutes kissing the head of the New York Rangers community relations department. “What are you guys doing?” “Nothing,” he said and Emma mumbled something else, tugging on the ends of her hair and sinking back on the top of the table.

Roland made a noise that a six-year-old probably shouldn’t have known how to make – something that sounded almost exactly like the soft sigh of indignation Regina made whenever Killian put off talking about his contract.

Killian ran his hand through his hair again and took a deep breath, squeezing his eyes closed tightly as he spun towards Roland and crouched down to his level as he moved. “What’s the matter, Rol?” “Dad sent me to find you.” He resisted the urge to roll his eyes in front of a six-year-old and Emma might have sighed, heels sounding on the floor when she moved and grabbed her walkie-talkie off the massively cushioned chair in front of her.

“Of course he did,” Killian mumbled, trying to smile at Roland. “You get any pizza, mate?” Roland nodded as enthusiastically as a six-year-old could nod about pizza, eyes lighting up before he realized there was someone else in the room as well. “Who’s that?” “Rol,” Killian sighed. He almost felt bad for the kid, raised, it seemed, by an entire hockey team, but he’d managed to pick up some manners along the way too.

“Sorry.” “Hi, Roland,” Emma said, appearing next to Killian’s side almost immediately and she’d crouched down too. “I’m Emma, it’s nice to meet you.”

She held out her hand and Roland stared at it for half a moment before taking it. “Hi,” he said. “Are you Hook’s friend?” Emma’s eyes darted towards Killian and he tried to keep his gaze trained on the kid in front of him, wearing one of what must have been the hundred Rangers t-shirts he owned. “Uh, yeah,” she answered. “I am. And I work for the team.” “You like hockey too?” “I love hockey.” “It’s my favorite. Dad and Hook are going to win a Cup this season.” “I hope so.” Roland’s smile probably could have powered the entirety of Times Square and this was just all too much, the adorable practically reaching out and slapping Killian across the face. He probably had fifty text messages by now.

“Listen, Rol,” Killian said, drawing back his attention quickly. “Why don’t you go tell your dad, I’ll be there in a sec, ok? We’ve got to get back to the city soon anyway.”

Roland nodded seriously and Killian smiled genuinely at him, squeezing his shoulder for good measure before he sprinted back out the hallway, shoes squeaking loudly on the linoleum as he moved.

He wasn’t sure who moved first or who stood up first, but they were both staring at their respective shoes as soon as Roland was gone. Killian tried to clear his throat and it didn’t really work, coming out more like a sigh than the sure sound he’d been hoping for as he pulled his eyes back up. “That was, uh….” “A one-time thing,” Emma said quickly and it shouldn’t have surprised him as much as it did.

It shouldn’t have been as disappointing as it was.

“I’ve got to get back to Mary Margaret,” Emma continued quickly and she hadn’t actually looked at him yet. “Make sure the kids get back on busses and get the bags we made and stuff. There’s stuff. I’ve got to do.” “Yeah, yeah, of course.” She nodded once, still not meeting his eyes, and walked out the door in three steps, walkie-talkie back on her hip.

Killian sank back into the chair behind him, grabbing his phone and turning it off before even looking to see how many messages and voicemails he’d gotten. He closed his eyes lightly, rubbing his hand over his face and realizing two very important things – he’d broken the rules and it had blown up in his face.

He was absolutely fucked.

#cs ff #captain swan ff #ouat ff #captain swan #csbb #thiiiiiiings are happening #like #just a lot of things #and a wild roland locksley appears!!!!#blue line

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