#internet bastard

[digitalcactusblog]

every single person in svsss is a different flavor of bastard and it's incredible

shen qingqiu is fairly obvious, considering his whole deal is being a terminally online internet troll. one might decide to characterize him as 'bitch' instead of bastard though

luo binghe is an angel to his shizun and then to literally anyone else he'll make rude gestures and glower until they leave him and sqq alone. also he’s the op protagonist and The strongest guy around, no one can touch him and he absolutely knows it

shang qinghua is a weaselly little hamster who is the manifestation of bureacratic traps and loopholes, immensely competent in order to personally ruin your day one sheet of paperwork at a time and then immediately turns around to be pathetic

mobei jun is rich, enough said LMFAOOOO mbj is an overly op demon king who has servants to do literally anything for him that he can punt without consequences, of course he's a bastard

#svsss #in order we have #internet bastard #'hot shit' bastard #crouching moron hidden bastard #and rich bastard #liu qingge also fits on the list as 'jock bastard' #it's bastards all the way down y'all

[aziraphalalala]

It's been 3 months and we're still here, stuck like flies in amber in the last 15 minutes of Season 2, Episode 6.

Send help. And crepes.

#good omens #trending again because WE WILL NOT STOP #We will make all internet bow to the husbands #our work is not done #feed the feral Good omens children #fEED THeMMMM #roaar #it's me I'm the feral good omens lovechild slash bastard #ineffable idiots #ineffable husbands #aziraphale #aziracrow #crowley

[fyoht]

oh my god. look at him. what a little bitch.

#AND HE WAS RIGHT. #the little 'hands on hips' adklbjndkbndb what the fuck #michael sheen i have questions about your acting choices. #but also like. yeah. that's them. #honestly though this scene drives me nuts cause aziraphale is such a little bastard in this one. look at him. so smug #so righteous. 'AH YOU SAY YOU CAN KILL KIDS? HAHA. NOPE. I KNOW YOU'. a bitch. poor crowley. but also i love them. #crowley #aziraphale #aziracrow #ineffable husbands #good omens #good omens 2 spoilers #and YES. im aware i missed the 'well' part. I KNOW. IM SORRY. my photoshop works at the speed of 2010 internet. have mercy.

[ms-demeanor]

Good grief, your MIL sounds like an exhausting human being to exist in the presence of (I can guess the answer, but has she ever been diagonosed? She sounds well beyond common-or-garden irrational foibles). Big respect to Large Bastard for surving that and making it to adulthood as an actual functional person. What on earth did she do to make Tiny Bastard so thoroughly terrified of any beeping sound?

She has not been diagnosed with anything professionally: very funny fun fact, she has a Bachelor's in Psychology and she thinks that therapy is a scam and that there's no psychiatric medication that actually works. I have tried to talk to her about going to see someone but when I shared how therapy had helped me deal with my history of trauma she went behind my back to try to talk large bastard into divorcing me because of my history of trauma, so that's when I decided I was done sharing anything about my life with her or putting effort into helping her.

I am continually floored by the fact that Large Bastard was raised by such staggeringly shitty people and ended up being as nice a guy as he is. Don't get me wrong, he's still an asshole, but he is not an asshole like that.

Tiny bastard is scared of beeping, metal stepladders, and used to be scared of soda cans.

The soda cans were because MiL would continually drop empty cans on the tile floors of the house and startle herself with the noise. Stepladders because if MiL got out the stepladder it meant she was going to do some kind of chore or another that would end with yelling. Beeping because MiL walked around with a timer around her neck and would jump and scream when it went off; she would jump and scream MUCH worse at more unexpected noises like the smoke alarm going off, and since she was a terrible cook in a house with not-great ventilation the smoke alarm went off a lot.

When she gets startled not only does she yell and shout, she also starts screaming at whatever has startled her. The way this typically goes is:

Object: Beep!

MiL: Augh!

MiL: Fucking bitch! Fuck!

MiL: Why did you have to do that you fucking bitch? Piece of shit. FUCK!

The yelling was also frequently accompanied by stomping feet and slamming doors, because this woman is a 75-year-old toddler.

If she is yelling because she scared herself (by dropping something that made a loud noise) the yelling will go on longer and will be more intense and self-loathing. That's why tiny bastard is MUCH more scared of stepladders than stopwatches (so we have two stepladders - my little plastic stepladder that lives on the wall of the kitchen and does not scare the dog, and the big folding metal stepladder that has been dubbed "The Puzzles Frightener.")

#tiny bastard is the dog's internet handle #her wallet name is puzzles

[greenteacryptid]

Managed to convince my friend to watch the Monument Mythos

#monument mythos #arg #internet horror #monument mythos arg #youtube horror #cryptidcore #chaotic bastard #gremlincore #text convo #text chat #instagram dm #gemini home entertainment #the mandela catalogue #the walten files #haha funny

[benevolenterrancy]

hua cheng is the pettiest bitch and i love that for him

#tgcf #heaven official's blessing #hua cheng #xie lian #hualian #who is the poor blood soaked bastard? take your pick it seems to be a reoccuring joke and i love it #my art #man my internet has been down since last friday i've only just got it back #on one hand it's been very relaxing to have an excuse to do nothing but read for hours and hours after work #but on the other hand it feels good to be posting art again

[charles-breaks-beakers]

here are some gifs dug up from the old internet for my fellow sciencecore bitches. got them from this site:

#sciencecore #tropes #my favorite trope #favorite trope #gifs #gif #old internet #geocities #old gifs #scientist #scientists #mad science #scene #scenecore #alternative #alt #bastardcore #chaotic bastard #alternative aesthetic #alt aesthetic #scene aesthetic #emo

[vaguely-concerned]

in hindsight the funniest part of the recurring cow jokes is that john says he built the wall out of cows and a bunch of sheep, and no one, not a single soul, seems to have spoken up on behalf of the sheep at any point fjsdkfhsajk. why the livestock sympathy inequality. why the cattle bias. I recognize that sheep are -- to be fair -- quite annoying to deal with, but if you prick them do they not bleat etc., it doesn't seem fair for them to get forgotten in the middle of all this

(the description of 'it was at this point that he had the grace to look embarrassed (may we even go so far as to say... sheepish)'... god stop being the funniest bitch in the world john I'm mad at you)

#do not sheep watch sunsets. do not sheep exhibit mourning behaviour for other sheep. #if you turn them inside out do they not make a grotesque yet effective building material #the locked tomb #nona the ninth #the locked tomb spoilers #nona the ninth spoilers #ntn spoilers #nona spoilers #john gaius #tbf this is a painfully accurate portrayal of how a certain kind of internet discourse tends to calcify #and also we're only getting the parts of it that annoyed john most consistently and he is... how do you say... a bastard #he forgot to put in air holes at first and didn't listen to G--'s engineering advice fhsdkfhaskjfhaskjhfaskj #yes. yes his friends WERE saints actually #'why is everyone treating me like I did a big crime just because I did a huge crime :'(' the john gaius story

[peanutsoutofcontext]

Snoopy of the Day

#Cat lovers won’t like this one today lol #snoopy #peanuts #charlie brown #comics #funny #cartoons #comic strips #cute #snoopy of the day #lol #bastard beagle #cats #dogs #lmao #hilarious #woodstock #art #aesthetic #cats of tumblr #cats of the internet #dogblr #dogs of tumblr #mlp #ides of march #anime #wtf #woodstock of the day

[sort-of-dying]

my dog walked into my room, stared at me right in the eyes, then grabbed a pair of my socks and walked out. well fuck

#dog #my dog #i dont know why i am putting this #in the abyss of the internet #but whatever #i have to go walk the little trashy bastard (affectionate) #i love her

[suiine]

nbc hannibal au where nbc hannibal doesn't happen because will graham said cannibals dni

#this is a post about internet safety #plot twist the bastard will interact and now knows will has a weakness with killers #hannibal #hannigram

[piers-official]

... Right-o then. Wasn't expectin' to hear from that arse today, but here we are.

#How the hell did he get internet access from jail? #Bastard... #dash commentary #piers posts #pkmn irl #pkmn rp #piers rp

[oberonbronze]

love the idea of Babs finding Tim’s childhood Twitter account and going through it and it’s just pages upon pages of hate tweets towards Jason’s robin with the occasional Gotham meme dispersed throughout and the last tweet is dated April 27th and it’s just a retweet of the Gotham News article announcing Robin’s death with the quote tweet ‘ruh roh’

#Tim is mortified she found it. Jason laughs so hard he pees himself. Dick is guilty that he feels so flattered #Listen I love Jason being Tim’s Robin canon but him being Jason’s first and biggest hater is infinitely funnier #Tim Drake is a mean little bastard with unfettered internet access #don’t tell me he wasn’t doxxing people online the second he knew how to spell #dc comics #batman #batfam #jason todd #tim drake

[yoinkschief]

ffuuCCKK my hyperfixations are hyperfixating again and it's that time where I get violently "LET ME TELL YOU ABOUT MY INTERESTS PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE" again

This is literally me right now, had to quickly whip out MSPaint to visualize my crippling feelings

I swear the next time one of my interests is brought up I'm making a youtube video essay script about it I need to get it out before I [REDACTED]

#y'ever get so violently autistic about your interests #like I'm gonna scream and climb the walls like a feral cat if I can't rant to you for the next 5 1/2 hours abut the Markiplier timeline #there is no need for that man to have made an edgy internet joke into an ENTIRE CINEMATIC UNIVERSE #AND NOW HE'S ONE UPPING EVERYONE BY MAKING A WHOLE ASS FAN MOVIE #Eddsworld should be ashamed of itself because this bastard pulled an entire professionally done movie out of his ass #while we sit here with a barely finished fan movie #no hate to the people who worked on it and put their heart and soul into it #animation is hard #but FUCKKK HE TOTALLY JUST SHIT IN OUR CHEERIOS #first the FNaF movie NOW THIS #He knows what he's doing #jay talk #fuck talk jay rants in the tags cause he treats it as a P.S. #not even P.S. #a whole seperate paragraph for a college style essay #I'm not kidding about the "making my autism + ADHD (AuDHD? Is that it?) hyperfixations into a YT video essay #I'm already making one about a show that doesn't deserve it

[ragamuffinsage]

The daily dose of Hubert shitposting is here 🖤💜

#everyone who loves my hubie posts I’m sending you so much love ❤️❤️ #I’ve been having a rough time lately and you all cheer me up #loving the most ridiculous little bastard with strangers on the internet is something that can be so personal #yeah I’ll put this one in the tags #hubert von vestra #fe3h textposts

[perfectly-clear-from-here]

FINALLY started replying to new comments on inhaler (after literally 200 days-) and firstly. you lot are sweet as jam oh mygod. secondly WHY IS THE WORLD SUDDENLY SO MUCH BRIGHTER??

#seriously ive been a miserable bastard for the past month but everyones wee comments have been like literal sunshine omg #i will never understand why u lot are so lovely #ive been falling behind with inhaler majorly the past few months cause my mental health has been. yeah not very good. #but hopefully ill be making a comeback soon and hopefully with a new chapter!! #when all else fails. atleast ive got this wee corner of the internet #mwah #oversharing and its bitter aftertaste