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pumpkinpaix · 4 years

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Hi! Loving your meta on suibian :)) Just wondering what were your frustrations with cql, especially considered you've watched this in multiple mediums? (I've only watched cql)

Hi anon! thank you so much!

Oh boy, you’ve unlocked a boatload of hidden dialogue, are you ready?? :D (buckle up it’s oof. Extremely Long)

@hunxi-guilai please consider this my official pitch for why I think the novel is worth reading, if only so you can enjoy the audio drama more fully. ;)

a few things before I get into it:

I don’t want to make this a 100% negative post because I really do love CQL so much! So I’m going to make it two parts: the changes that frustrated me the most and the changes I loved the most re: CQL vs novel. (again, don’t really know anything about donghua or manhua sorry!!) Sound good? :D

this will contain spoilers for the entirety of CQL and the novel. just like. All of it.

talking about the value of changes in CQL is difficult because I personally don’t know what changes were made for creative reasons and what changes were made for censorship reasons. I don’t think it’s entirely fair to evaluate the narrative worth of certain changes when I don’t know what their limitations were. It’s not just a matter of “gay content was censored”; China also has certain censorship restrictions on the portrayal of the undead, among other things. I, unfortunately, am not familiar enough with the ins and outs of Chinese censorship to be able to tell anyone with certainty what was and wasn’t changed for what reason. So I guess just, take whatever my opinions are with a grain of salt! I will largely avoid addressing issues related to how explicitly romantic wangxian is, for obvious reasons.

OKAY. In order to impose some kind of control on how much time I spend on this, I’m going to limit myself to four explicated points in each category, best/worst. Please remember that I change my opinions constantly, so these are just like. the top contenders at this specific point in my life. Starting with the worst so we can end on a positive note!

Henceforth, the novel is MDZS, CQL is CQL.

CQL’s worst crimes, according to cyan:

1. Polarizing Wei Wuxian and Jin Guangyao on the moral spectrum

I’ve heard rumors that this was a censorship issue, but I have never been able to confirm or deny it, so. Again, grain of salt.

The way that CQL reframed Wei Wuxian and Jin Guangyao’s character arcs drives me up the wall because I think it does a huge disservice to both of them and the overarching themes of the story. Jin Guangyao is shown to be responsible for pretty much all the tragedy post-Sunshot, which absolves Wei Wuxian of all possible wrongdoing and flattens Jin Guangyao into a much less interesting villain.

What I find so interesting about MDZS is how much it emphasizes the role of external forces and situations in determining a person’s fate: that being “good” or “righteous” at heart is simply not enough. You can do everything with all the best intentions and still do harm, still fail, still lose everything. Even “right” choices can have terrible consequences. Everyone starts out innocent. “In this world, everyone starts without grievances, but there is always someone who takes the first blow.”

It matters that Wei Wuxian is the one who loses control and kills Jin Zixuan, that his choices (no matter how impossible and terrible the situation) had consequences because the whole point is that even good people can be forced into corners where they do terrible things. Being good isn’t enough. You can do everything right, make every impossible choice, and fail. You can do the right thing and be punished for it. Maybe you did the right thing, but others suffer for your actions. Is that still the right thing? Is it your fault? Is it? By absolving Wei Wuxian of any conceivable blame, it really changes the narrative conclusion. In MDZS, even the best people can do incomprehensible harm when backed into corners, and the audience is asked to evaluate those actions with nuance. Is a criminal fully culpable for the harm they do when their external circumstances forced them into situations where they felt like they had no good choices left?

Personally, I feel like the novel asks you to forgive Wei Wuxian his wrongs, and, in paralleling him with Jin Guangyao, shows how easily they could have been one another. Both of them are extraordinarily talented sons of commoners; the difference lies in what opportunities they were given as they were growing up and how they choose to react to grievances. Wei Wuxian is adopted early on into the head family of a prominent sect and treated (more or less—not going to get into it) like a son. Jin Guangyao begs, borrows, steals, kills for every scrap of prestige and honor he gets and understands that his position in life is, at all points, extraordinarily unstable. Wei Wuxian doesn’t take his grievances to heart, but Jin Guangyao does.

To be clear, I don’t think the novel places a moral value on holding grudges, if that makes sense. I think MDZS only indicates that acts of vengeance always lead to more bloodshed—that the only escape is to lay down your arms, no matter how bitter the taste. Wei Wuxian was horribly wronged in many ways, and I don’t think I would fault him for wanting revenge or holding onto his anger—but I do think it’s clear that if he did, it would destroy him. It destroys Jin Guangyao, after all.

(It also destroys Xue Yang, and I think the parallel actually also extends to him. Yi City, to me, is a very interesting microcosm of a lot of broader themes in MDZS, and I have a lot of Thoughts on Xue Yang and equivalent justice, etc. etc. but. Thoughts for another time.)

Wei Wuxian is granted a happy ending not because he is Good, but because public opinion has changed, because there’s a new scapegoat, because he is protected by someone in power, because he lets go of the past, and because the children see him for who he is. I really do think that the reason MDZS and CQL have a hopeful ending as opposed to a bleak one hinges on the juniors. We are shown very clearly throughout the story how easily and quickly the tide of public opinion turns. The reason we don’t fear that it’s going to happen to Wei Wuxian again (or any other surviving character we love) is, I think, because the juniors, who don’t lose their childhoods to war, have the capacity to see past their parents’ prejudices and evaluate the actions of the people in front of them without having their opinions clouded by intense trauma and fear. They are forged out of love, not fire.

In CQL however, it emphasizes that Wei Wuxian is Fundamentally Good and did No Wrong Ever, so he deserves his happy ending, while Jin Guangyao is Fundamentally Bad and Responsible For Everything, so he got what was coming to him (even if we feel bad for him maybe). That’s not nearly as interesting or meaningful.  

(One specific change to Jin Guangyao’s timeline of evil that I find particularly vexing, not including the one I will discuss in point 2, is changing when Jin Rusong was conceived. In the novel, Qin Su is supposedly already pregnant by the time they get married, and that matters a WHOLE LOT when evaluating Jin Guangyao’s actions, I think.)

2. Wen POWs used as target obstacles at Baifeng Mountain

I know the first point was “here’s an overarching plot change that I think deeply impacts the narrative themes” and this second one is “I despise this one specific scene detail so much”, but HEAR ME OUT. It’s related to the first point! (tbh, most things are related to the first point)

Personally, I think this one detail character assassinates like. almost everyone in attendance, but most egregiously in no particular order: Jin Guangyao, Jin Zixuan (and by extension, Jiang Yanli), Wei Wuxian, Lan Wangji and Lan Xichen.

First, I think it’s a cheap plot device that’s obviously meant to enhance Jin Guangyao’s ~villainy while emphasizing Wei Wuxian’s growing righteous anger, but it fails so spectacularly, god, I literally hate this detail so much lmao. I’ll go by character.

Jin Guangyao: I get that CQL is invested in him being a ~bad person~ or whatever, but this is such a transparently like, cartoon villain move that lacks subtlety and elegance. Jin Guangyao is very dedicated to being highly diplomatic, appeasing, and non-threatening in his bid for power. He manipulates behind the scenes, does his father’s dirty work, etc. but he always shows a gentle, smiling face. This display tips his hand pretty obviously, and even if it were at the behest of his father, there’s literally no reason for him to be so “ohohoho I’m so evil~” about it—if anything, this would only serve to drive his sympathizers away. It’s a stupid move for him politically, and really undercuts his supposed intelligence and cleverness, in my personal opinion.

Jin Zixuan: yes, he is arrogant and vain and likes to show off! But putting his ego above the safety of innocent people? Like, not necessarily OOC, but it sure makes him much less sympathetic in my eyes. I find it hard to believe that Jiang Yanli would find this laudable or acceptable, but she’s given a few shots where she smiles with some kind of pride and it’s like. No! Do not do my queen dirty like this. She wouldn’t!

Wei Wuxian: where do I start! WHERE DO I START. Wei Wuxian is shown to be “righteously angry” about this, but steps down mutinously when Jiang Cheng motions him back. He looks shocked and outraged at Jin Zixuan for showing off with no concern for the safety of the Wen POWs, only to like, two seconds later, do the exact same thing, but worse! And at the provocation of Jin Zixun, no less! *screams into hands* The tonal shift is bizarre! We’re in this really tense ~moral quandary~, but then he flirts with Lan Wangji for a second (tense music still kinda playing?? it’s awful. I hate it), and then does his trickshot. You know! Putting all these people he’s supposedly so concerned about at risk! To one-up Jin Zixuan! It’s nonsensical. It’s such a conflict of priorities. This is supposed to make him seem honorable and cool, I guess? But it mostly just makes him look like a performative hypocrite. :///

Lan Wangji: I cannot believe that Lan Wangji saw this and did not immediately walk out in protest.

Lan Xichen: this is just one part of a larger problem with Lan Xichen’s arc in CQL vs MDZS, where his character development was an unwitting casualty of both wangxian censorship and CQL’s quest to demonize Jin Guangyao. One of the prevailing criticisms I see of Lan Xichen’s character is that he is a “centrist”, that he “allows bad things to happen through his inaction and desire to avoid conflict”, and that he is “stupid and willfully blind to Jin Guangyao’s faults”, when I don’t think any of this is supported by evidence in the novel whatsoever. Jin Guangyao is a subtle villain! He is a talented manipulator and liar! Even Wei Wuxian says it in the novel!

(forgive my rough translations /o\)

Chapter 49, as Wei Wuxian (through Empathy with Nie Mingjue’s head) listens to Lan Xichen defend Meng Yao immediately following Wen Ruohan’s assassination:

魏无羡心中摇头：“泽芜君这个人还是……太纯善了。”可再一想，他是因为已知金光瑶的种种嫌疑才能如此防备，可在蓝曦臣面前的孟瑶，却是一个忍辱负重，身不由己，孤身犯险的卧底，二人视角不同，感受又如何能相提并论？

Wei Wuxian shook his head to himself: “This Zewu-jun is still…… too pure and kind.” But then he thought again—he could only be so guarded because he already knew of all of Jin Guangyao’s suspicious behavior, but the Meng Yao before Lan Xichen was someone who had had no choice but to suffer in silence for his mission, who placed himself in grave danger, alone, undercover. The two of them had different perspectives, so how could their feelings be compared?

Chapter 63, after Wei Wuxian wakes up in the Cloud Recesses, having been brought there by Lan Wangji:

他不是不能理解蓝曦臣。他从聂明玦的视角看金光瑶，将其奸诈狡猾与野心勃勃尽收眼底，然而，如果金光瑶多年来在蓝曦臣面前一直以伪装相示，没理由要他不去相信自己的结义兄弟，却去相信一个臭名昭著腥风血雨之人。

It wasn’t that he couldn’t understand Lan Xichen. He had seen Jin Guangyao from Nie Mingjue’s perspective, and so had seen all of his treacherous and cunning obsession with ambition. However, if Jin Guangyao had for all these years only shown Lan Xichen a disguise, there was no reason for [Lan Xichen] to believe a famously violent person [Wei Wuxian] over his own sworn brother.

Lan Xichen, throughout the story, is being actively lied to and manipulated by Jin Guangyao. His only “mistake” was being kind and trying to give Meng Yao, someone who came from a place of great disadvantage, the benefit of the doubt instead of immediately dismissing him as worthless due to his birth or his station in life. Lan Xichen sees Meng Yao as someone who was forced to make impossible choices in impossible situations—you know, the way that we, the audience, are led to perceive Wei Wuxian. The only difference is that the story that we’re given about Wei Wuxian is true, while the story that Lan Xichen is given about Meng Yao is… not. But how would have have known?

The instant he is presented with a shred of evidence to the contrary, he revokes Jin Guangyao’s access to the Cloud Recesses, pursues that evidence to the last, and is horrified to discover that his trust was misplaced.

Lan Xichen’s willingness to consider different points of view is integral to Wei Wuxian’s survival and eventual happiness. Without Lan Xichen’s kindness, there is no way that Wei Wuxian would have ever been able to clear his name. Everyone else was calling for his blood, but Lan Wangji took him home, and Lan Xichen not only allowed it, he listened to and helped them. To the characters of the book who are not granted omniscient knowledge of Wei Wuxian’s actions and circumstances, there is literally no difference between Wei Wuxian and Jin Guangyao. Lan Xichen is being incredibly fair when he asks in chapter 63:

蓝曦臣笑了，道：“忘机，你又是如何判定，一个人究竟可信不可信？”

他看着魏无羡，道：“你相信魏公子，可我，相信金光瑶。大哥的头在他手上，这件事我们都没有亲眼目睹，都是凭着我们自己对另一个人的了解，相信那个人的说辞。

“你认为自己了解魏无羡，所以信任他；而我也认为自己了解金光瑶，所以我也信任他。你相信自己的判断，那么难道我就不能相信自己的判断吗？”

Lan Xichen laughed and said, “Wangji, how can you determine exactly who should and should not be believed?”

He looked at Wei Wuxian and said, “You believe Wei-gongzi, but I believe Jin Guangyao. Neither of us saw with our own eyes whether Da-ge’s head was in his possession. We base our opinions on our own understandings of someone else, our belief in their testimony.

“You think you understand Wei Wuxian, and so you trust him; I also think I understand Jin Guangyao, so I trust him. You trust your own judgment, so can’t I trust my own judgment as well?”

But he hears them out, examines the proof, and acts immediately.

I really do feel like this aspect of Lan Xichen kind of… became collateral damage in CQL. Because Jin Guangyao is so much more publicly malicious, Lan Xichen’s alleged “lack of action” feels much less understandable or acceptable.

It is wild to me that in this scene, Lan Xichen reacts with discomfort to the proceedings, but has nothing to say to Jin Guangyao about it afterwards and also applauds Wei Wuxian’s archery. (I could talk about Nie Mingjue here as well, but I would say Nie Mingjue and Lan Xichen have very different perspectives on morality, so this moment isn’t necessarily OOC for NMJ, but I do think is very OOC for LXC.) This scene (among a few others that have Jin Guangyao being more openly “evil”) makes Lan Xichen look like a willfully blind bystander by the end of the story, but having him react with any action would have been inconvenient for the plot. Thus, he behaves exactly as he did in the book, but under very different circumstances. It reads inconsistently with the rest of his character (since a lot of the beats in the novel still happen in the show), and weakens the narrative surrounding his person.

None of these overt displays of cruelty or immorality happen in the book, so it makes perfect sense that he doesn’t do or suspect anything! Jin Guangyao is, as stated, perfectly disguised towards Lan Xichen. You can’t blame him for “failing to act” when someone was purposefully keeping him in the dark and, from his perspective, there was nothing to act upon.

This scene specifically is almost purely lighthearted in the novel! If you take out the Wen POWs, this just becomes a fun scene where Wei Wuxian shows off, flirts with Lan Wangji, gets into a pissing match with Jin Zixuan, and is overall kind of a brat! It’s great! I love this scene! The blindfolded shot is ridiculous and over-the-top and very cute!

I know this is a lot of extrapolation, but the whole scene is soured for me due to you know. *gestures upwards* Which is really a shame because it’s one of my favorite silly scenes in the book! Alas! @ CQL why! ;A;

3. Lan Xichen already being an adult and sect leader at the start of the show

This is rapidly becoming a, “Lan Xichen was Wronged and I Have the Receipts” essay (oh no), but you know what, that’s fine I guess! I never said I was impartial!

CQL makes Lan Xichen seem much older and more experienced than he is in the novel, though we’re not given his specific age. In the novel, he is not sect leader yet when Wei Wuxian and co. arrive at the Cloud Recesses for lectures. His father, Qingheng-jun, is in seclusion, and his uncle is the de facto leader of the sect. Lan Xichen does not become sect leader until his father dies at the burning of the Cloud Recesses. Moreover, my understanding of the text is that he is at most 19 years old when this happens. Wen Ruohan remarks that Lan Xichen is still a junior at the beginning of the Sunshot Campaign in chapter 61. (If someone has a different interpretation of the term 小辈, please correct me.) In any case! Lan Xichen is young.

Lan Xichen ascends to power under horrific circumstances: he is not an adult, his father has just been murdered, his uncle seriously injured, his brother kidnapped, and his home burnt to the ground. He is on the run, alone! Carrying the sacred texts of his family and trying to stay alive so his sect is not completely wiped out on the eve of war! He is terrified, inexperienced, and unprepared!

You know, just like Jiang Cheng, a few months later!

I see a lot of people lambasting Lan Xichen for not stepping up to protect the Wen remnants post-Sunshot, but I’m always flummoxed by the accusations because I don’t see criticisms of Jiang Cheng with remotely the same vitriol, even though their political positions are nearly identical:

they are both extraordinarily young sect leaders who came to power before they expected to through incredible violence done to their families

because of this, they are in very weak political positions: they have very little experience to offer as evidence of their competence and right to respect. if they are considered adults, they have only very recently come of age.

Jin Guangshan, who is rapidly and greedily taking the place of the Wen clan in the vacuum of power, is shown to be more than willing to mow people down to get what he wants—and he has the power to do so.

both Yunmeng Jiang and Gusu Lan were crippled by the Wen clan prior to Sunshot. And they just fought a war that lasted two and a half years. they are hugely weakened and in desperate need of time to rebuild, mourn, etc. both Jiang Cheng and Lan Xichen are responsible for the well-being of all of these people who are now relying upon them.

I think it’s very obvious that Jiang Cheng is in an impossible situation because he wears his fears and insecurities on his face and people in power (cough Jin Guangshan) prey upon that, while we, as the audience, have a front row seat for that whole tragedy. We understand his choices, even if they hurt us.

Why shouldn’t Lan Xichen be afforded the same consideration?

I really do think that because he’s presented as someone who’s much more composed and confident in his own abilities than Jiang Cheng is, we tend to forget exactly what pressures he was facing at the same time. We just assume, oh yes, of course Lan Xichen has the power to do something! He’s Lan Xichen! The First Jade! Isn’t he supposed to be Perfectly Good? Why isn’t he doing The Right Thing?

I think this is exacerbated by CQL’s decision to make him an established sect leader at the start of the show with several years of experience under his belt. We don’t know his age, but he is assumed to be an Adult. This gives him more power and stability, and so it seems more unacceptable that he does not make moves to protect the Wen remnants, even if in essence, he and Jiang Cheng’s political positions are still quite similar. He doesn’t really have any more power to save the Wen remnants without placing his whole clan in danger of being wiped out again, but CQL implies that he does, even if it isn’t the intention of the change.

It does make me really sad that this change also drives a further thematic divide between Lan Xichen and the rest of his generation. Almost everyone in that generation came of age through a war, which I think informs the way their tragedies play out, and how those tragedies exist in contrast to the juniors’ behavior and futures. Making Lan Xichen an experienced adult aligns him with the generation prior to him, which, as we’re shown consistently, is the generation whose adherence to absolutism and fear ruined the lives of their children. But Lan Xichen is just as much a victim of this as his peers.

(the exception being maybe Nie Mingjue, but it’s complicated. I think Nie Mingjue occupies a very interesting position in the narrative, but like. That’s. For another time! this is. already so far out of hand. oh my god this is point three out of eight oh nO)

(yet another aside because I can’t help myself: can you believe we were robbed of paralleling scenes of Jiang Cheng and Lan Xichen’s coronations? the visual drama of that. the poetic cinema. it’s not in the book, but can you IMAGINE. thank u @paledreamsblackmoths for putting this image into my head so that I can suffer forever knowing that I’ll never get it.)

I said I wasn’t going to talk at length about any changes surrounding Wangxian’s explicit romance for obvious reasons, but I will at least lament here that because a large percentage of Lan Xichen’s actions and character beats are directly in relation to Lan Wangji’s love for Wei Wuxian, he loses a lot of both minor and major moments to the censors as well. Many of the instances when he encourages Lan Wangji to talk to Wei Wuxian, when he indulges in their relationship etc. are understandably gone. But the most significant moment that was cut for censorship reasons I think is when he loses his temper with Wei Wuxian at the Guanyin temple and lays into him with all the fury and terror he felt for his brother’s broken heart for the last thirteen years.

Lan Xichen is only shown to express true anger twice in the whole story, both times at the Guanyin temple: first against Wei Wuxian for what he perceives as gross disregard for his little brother’s convictions, and second against Jin Guangyao for his massive betrayal of trust. And you know, murdering his best friend. Among other things.

I’m genuinely so sad that we don’t get to see Lan Xichen tear Wei Wuxian to shreds for what he did to Lan Wangji because I think one of the most important aspects to Lan Xichen’s character is how much he loves, cares for and fears for his little brother. The reveal about Lan Wangji’s punishment in episode 43 is a sad and sober conversation, but it’s not nearly as impactful, especially because Wei Wuxian asks about it of his own volition. I understand that this isn’t CQL’s fault! But. I can still mourn it right? ahahaha. :’)

I’ll stop before I descend further into nothing but Lan Xichen meta because that’s. Dangerous. (I have a lot of Feelings about how there are three characters who are held up as paragons of virtue in MDZS, how they all suffered in spite of their goodness, and how that all ties directly into the whole, “it is not enough to be good, but kindness is never wrong” theme. Anyways, they’re Xiao Xingchen, Jiang Yanli, and Lan Xichen, but NOT NOW. NOT TODAY.)

So yes, I’m a Lan Xichen apologist on main, and yes, I understand my feelings are incredibly personally motivated and influenced by my subjective emotions, but no I do not take concrit on this point, thank you very much.

4. all of the Wen remnants turning themselves in alongside Wen Qing and Wen Ning

Okay, back to plot changes. This change I would be willing to bet money was at least partially due to censorship, but it hurts me so deeply hahaha. It makes literally no sense for any of the characters and it completely janks the timeline of events post Qiongqi Dao 2.0 through Wei Wuxian’s death.

It’s not ALL bad—this change makes it easier for the Peak Wangxian moment at the Bloodbath at Nightless City (You know. Hands. Cliff. etc.) to happen, which I did very much enjoy. It’s pretty on-brand for CQL to sacrifice plot for character beats that they want to emphasize, so like. I get it! This moment is a huge gift! I Understand This. CQL collapses the Bloodbath at Nightless City and the First Siege of the Mass Graves into one event for I think a few reasons. One, Wangxian moment without being explicitly Wangxian, which is excellent. Two, it circumvents the Blood Corpse scene, which I do not think would have made it past censorship.

I’ll get to the Blood Corpse scene in a minute, but despite being able to understand why so much might have been sacrificed for the impact of the cliff scene, I still wish it had been done differently (and I feel like it could have been!), if only for my peace of mind because the plot holes it creates are pretty gaping.

The entire point of Wen Qing and Wen Ning turning themselves in is specifically to save their family members and Wei Wuxian from coming to further harm. That’s explicit, even in the show. Jin Guangshan demands that the Wen brother and sister stand for their crimes and claims that the blood debt will be paid. The Wen remnants understand that Wei Wuxian has given up so much for their sakes, that he has lost his family, his home, his respectability, his health, all in the name of sheltering them. To throw all of that away would be the greatest disrespect to his sacrifices. Wen Qing and Wen Ning decide that if their lives can pay for the safety of their loved ones and ensure that Wei Wuxian’s sacrifices matter, they are willing to go together and give themselves up.

So. Why did they. All go?? For… moral support???? D: Wen Qing says that Wei Wuxian will wake up in three days and that she’s given Fourth Uncle and the others instructions for his care–but then Fourth Uncle and the others all go with them!! To die!! There’s also very clearly a shot of Granny Wen taking A’Yuan with them, which like. Obviously didn’t really happen.

Wen Qing, who loves her family more than anything in the world, agrees that they should all go to Lanling and sacrifice themselves to…. protect Wei Wuxian? Wen Qing, pragmatic queen of my heart, agrees to this absurdly bad exchange?? Leaves Wei Wuxian to wake up, alone, with the knowledge that he had not only killed his brother-in-law but also effectively gotten everyone he had left killed also??

I can’t imagine Wen Qing doing that to Wei Wuxian. Save his life? For what? This takes away everything he has left to live for. You think Wen Qing doesn’t intimately understand how cruel that would be?

(Yes, I’m complaining about all of this, but I’m still about to cry because I rewatched the scene to make sure I didn’t say anything untrue, and g o d it manages to hit hard despite all of that, so who’s the real clown here!!)

Anyways. So that’s all just like. Frustratingly incoherent. It’s one of several wrongs I think CQL committed against Wen Qing’s character, but my feelings about Wen Qing in CQL are pretty complicated (I love her so much, and I love that we got more Wen Qing content, but that content sure is a mixed bag of stuff I really enjoyed and stuff I desperately wish didn’t exist) and I decided I wasn’t going to get into it in this post. (is anyone even still reading god)

This change also muddles Lan Wangji’s choices and punishment in ways that I think diminishes the severity of the situation to the detriment of both his characterization and his family’s characterization. The punishment scene is extremely moving and you should read this post about the language used in it but. sldfjsljslkf.

okay well, several things. In the context of CQL, which really pushes the “righteousness” angle of Wei Wuxian (see point 1), I think this scene makes a lot of sense in isolation: both Lan Wangji and Wei Wuxian are painted as martyrs for doing the right thing. “Who’s right and who’s wrong?” The audience is asked to see the punishment as “unjust”. That’s perfectly fine and coherent in the context of CQL, but I don’t think it’s nearly as interesting as what happens in MDZS.

Because CQL collapses both the First Siege and the Bloodbath into one event, Lan Wangji’s crimes are sort of unclearly defined. In episode 43, when Lan Xichen is explaining the situation, we see a flashback to when Su She says something along the lines of, “We could set aside the fact that you defended Wei Ying at Nightless City, but now you won’t even let us search his den?” (of course, this gives us the really excellent “you are not qualified to talk to me” line which. delicious. extremely vindicating and satisfying. petty king lan wangji.) Lan Xichen goes on to say something like, “Wangji alone caused several disturbances at the Mass Graves. Uncle was greatly angered, and [decreed his punishment]”. (Sorry, I’m too lazy to type out the full lines with translations, just. trust me on this one.)

Lan Wangji’s actions are shown to be motivated by a righteous love. Wei Wuxian is portrayed as someone innocent who stood up for the right thing against popular opinion and was scapegoated and destroyed for it, having done no wrong. (See, point 1 again.)

In MDZS, Lan Wangji’s crimes are very specific. It isn’t just that he caused some “disturbances” (this is just Lan XIchen’s vague phrasing in CQL—we don’t really know what he did). He steals Wei Wuxian away from the Bloodbath at Nightless City, after Wei Wuxian killed thousands of people, and hides him away in a cave, feeding him spiritual energy to save his life. When Lan Wangji’s family comes to find him, demand that he hand over Wei Wuxian (who is, remember, a mass murderer at this point! we can argue about how culpable he is for those actions all day—that’s the whole point, but the people are still dead), Lan Wangji not only refuses, but raises his hands against his family. He seriously injures thirty-three Lan elders to protect Wei Wuxian.

I don’t know how to emphasize how serious that crime is? Culturally, this is like. Unthinkable. To raise your hand against members of your own family, your elders who loved and raised you, in defense of an outsider, a man who, by all accounts, is horrifically evil and just murdered thousands of people, including other members of your own family, is like. That’s a serious betrayal. Oh my god. Lan Wangji, what have you done?

Lan Xichen explains in chapter 99:

我去看他的时候对他说，魏公子已铸成大错，你何苦错上加错了。他却说……他无法断言你所作所为对错如何，但无论对错，他愿意与你一起承担所有后果。

When I went to see him, I said, “Wei-gongzi’s great wrongs are already set in stone, why take the pains to add wrongs upon wrongs?” But he said…… he had no way to ascertain the rights and wrongs of your actions, but regardless of right or wrong, he was willing to bear all the consequences with you.

I think this is very different than what’s going on in CQL, though the differences appear subtle on the surface. In CQL, Lan Wangji demands of his uncle, “Dare I ask Uncle, who is righteous and who is wicked, who is wrong and who is right?” but the very act of asking in this way implies that Lan Wangji has an opinion on the matter (though perhaps not a simple one).

Lan Wangji in MDZS specifically says that he doesn’t know how to evaluate the morality of Wei Wuxian’s actions, but that regardless, he is willing to bear the consequences of his choices and his actions. He understands that his actions while sheltering Wei Wuxian are not clearly morally defensible. He did it anyways because he loved Wei Wuxian, because he thought that Wei Wuxian was worth saving, that there was still something good in him, despite the things he had done under mitigating circumstances. Lan Wangji did not save Wei Wuxian because he thought it was the right thing to do. He saved him because he loved him.

He is given thirty-three lashes with the discipline whip, one for each elder he maimed, and this leaves him bedridden for three years. Is this punishment horrifyingly severe? Yes! But is it unjustly given? I think that’s a much harder question to answer in the context of the story.

Personally, I think that question underscores the broader questions of morality contained within MDZS. I think it’s a much more interesting take on Wei Wuxian and Lan Wangji as individuals. This asks, what can be pardoned? The righteous martyr angle is uncomplicated because moral certainty is easy. I think the situation in MDZS is far more uncomfortable if you examine its implications. And personally, I think that’s more meaningful!

(Not even going to touch on the whole, 300 strokes with a giant rod, but he has whip scars? And they were also sentenced to 300 strokes as kids for drinking alcohol…? CQL is not. consistent. on that front. ahaha.)

God, every point so far in this meta is just like “here’s one change that has cascading effects upon the rest of the show” dear god, okay, I’m getting to the Blood Corpse scene.

So in MDZS, the Wen remnants (besides Wen Ning and Wen Qing) do not go to Lanling. After the Bloodbath at Nightless City, Lan Wangji returns Wei Wuxian to the Mass Graves. Wei Wuxian lives with the Wen remnants for another three months before the First Siege, where he dies and the rest of the Wens are killed (except A’Yuan).

(Sidenote that I won’t get into: I love the dead spaces of time that MDZS creates. There’s very clear gaps in the narrative that we just never get the details on, most notably: Wei Wuxian’s three months in the Mass Graves post core transfer, and Wei Wuxian’s three months in the Mass Graves post Jiang Yanli’s death. They’re both extremely terrible times, but the audence is asked to imagine it instead of ever learning what really happened, what it was like. There’s something really cool about that narratively, I think.)

The Wen remnants are not cremated along with the rest of the dead. Their bodies are thrown into the blood pool.

At the Second Siege, when Wei Wuxian draws a Yin Summoning Flag on his clothes to turn himself into bait for the corpses in order to allow everyone else to escape to safety while he and Lan Wangji fight them off, there’s a moment when it gets really, truly dangerous—even with the help of the juniors and a few of the adults, they probably would have been killed. But then a wave of blood-soaked corpses come crawling out of the blood pool of their own accord and tear their attackers apart.

At the end of it, the blood corpses, the Wen remnants, gather before Lan Wangji and Wei Wuxian and Wen Ning. Wei Wuxian thanks them, they exchange bows, and the blood corpses collapse into dust. Wen Ning scrambles to gather their ashes, but runs out of space in his clothing. Several juniors, seeing this, offer up their bags to him and try to help.

It’s just. This scene is so important to me. Obviously, it couldn’t be included in CQL because of the whole undead thing, but it’s such a shame because I maintain that the Blood Corpse scene is one of the most powerful scenes in the whole goddamn book. It ties together so many things that I care about! It’s the moment when the narrative says, “kindness is not a waste”. Wei Wuxian failed to save them, but that doesn’t mean that his actions were done in vain. What he did matters. The year of life he bought them matters. The time they spent together matters.

This is also the moment when the juniors finally see Wen Ning for who he is—not the terrifying Ghost General, but a gentle man who has just lost his family for a second time. This is the moment when they reach out with kindness to the monster that their parents told them about at night. It matters that the juniors are able to do that! That they see this man suffering and are moved to compassion instead of righteous satisfaction.

(Except Jin Ling, for very understandable reasons, but Jin Ling’s moment comes later.)

It’s also the moment that we’re starkly reminded that many of the adults in attendance were present at the First Siege and directly responsible for the murders of the Wen remnants, including Ouyang Zizhen’s father. We’re reminded that he’s not just a comically annoying man with bad takes—he also participated in the murder of innocent people and then disrespected their corpses. But what retribution should be taken against him and the others? What retribution could be taken that wouldn’t lead to more tragedy?

There’s someone in the crowd in this scene named Fang Mengchen who refuses to be swayed by Wei Wuxian’s actions. “He killed my parents,” he says. “What about them? How can I let that go?”

“What more do you want from me?” Wei Wuxian asks. “I have already died once. You do not have to forgive me, but what more should I do?”

That is the ultimate question, isn’t it? What is the only way out of tragedy? You don’t have to forgive, but you cannot continue to take your retribution. It is not fair, but it’s all you have.

okay. so. those were my four Big Points of Contention with CQL, as I am currently experiencing them.

Honorable mentions go to: Wen Qing’s arc (both excellent and awful in different ways), making 13/16 years of Inquiry canon (I think this is untrue to Lan Wangji’s character, though I can understand why it was done), Mianmian’s departure from the Lanling Jin sect being shortened and having the sexism cut out (there’s something really visceral about the accusations against Mianmian being explicitly about her womanhood that I desperately wish had been retained in the show), cutting the scene where Jin Ling cries in mourning for Jin Guangyao and is scolded for it by Sect Leader Yao (my heart for that scene because it also matters so much)

but now!! onto the fun part, where I talk effusively about how much I love CQL!! this will probably be shorter (*prays*) because a lot of my frustrations with CQL are related to spiraling thematic consequences while the things I love are like. Simpler to pinpoint? If that makes sense? we’ll see.

CQL’s greatest virtues, also according to cyan:

1. this:

[ID: Wei Wuxian, trembling in fear, screaming “shijie!” as Jiang Cheng threatens him with Fairy in episode 34 of The Untamed drama. /end ID]

I understand that this is like, a very minor, specific detail change, but oh my GOD, it is like. Unparalleled. Every time I think about this change, I get so emotional and disappointed that it’s not in the novel, because I think it strengthens this scene tenfold. In the novel, Wei Wuxian calls out for Lan Zhan, which like, I get it. The story at this point is focused on the development of his romantic feelings for Lan Wangji, so the point of the scene is that the first person he thinks of in a moment of extreme fear is Lan Zhan, which surprises him. That’s fine. Like, it’s fine! But I think it doesn’t have nearly the same weight as Wei Wuxian calling for his sister to save him from his brother.

Having Wei Wuxian call out for his sister drives home the loss that the two of them have suffered, and highlights the relationship they all once had. Jiang Yanli is much more relevant to shuangjie’s narrative than Lan Wangji ever was, and this highlights exactly how deeply the fracturing of their familial relationship cuts. Wangxian gets so much time and focus throughout the rest of the novel. I love that this moment in the show is just about the Yunmeng siblings because that relationship is no less important, you know?

Calling out for Jiang Yanli in the show draws a much cleaner line through the dialogue. “You dare bring her up before me?” to “Don’t you remember what you said to Jin Ling?” It unifies the scene and twists the knife. It also gives us more insight into how fiercely Wei Wuxian was once beloved and protected by his siblings. Jiang Cheng promised to chase all the dogs away from Wei Wuxian when they were children. It’s clear that Jiang Yanli did as well.

Once upon a time, Wei Wuxian’s siblings defended him from his fears, and now one of them is dead and the other is using that fear to hurt him where he’s weakest. The reversal is so painfully juxtaposed, and it’s done with just that one flashback of Wei Wuxian as a child leaping into Jiang Yanli’s arms and calling out her name. Extremely good, economical storytelling. The conversation between shuangjie is much more focused on their own stories independent from Lan Wangji, which I very much appreciate. Wangxian, you’re wonderful, but this ain’t about you, and I don’t think it should be.

2. Extended Jiang Yanli content (and by extension, Jin Zixuan and Mianmian content)

Speaking of absolute goddess Jiang Yanli, I really loved what CQL did with her (unlike my more mixed feelings about Wen Qing). Having her in so many more scenes makes her importance to Jiang Cheng and Wei Wuxian a lot clearer, and we get to experience her as a person rather than an ideal.

On a purely aesthetic level, Jiang Yanli’s styling and character design is so stellar in CQL. The more prevalent design for her is kind of childish in the styling, which I don’t love (I think it’s the donghua influence?). And even I, someone who’s audio drama on main 24/7, personally prefer her CQL voice actor. There’s only a few characters in CQL that I look at and go “ah yes, that’s [character] 100%” and Jiang Yanli is one of them. I was blessed. I would lay down my life for her.

I’m really glad that CQL showed her illness more explicitly and gave her a sword, even if she never uses it! Her weak constitution is only mentioned once in the novel in chapter 69 in like two lines that I blew past initially because I was reading at breakneck speed and was only reminded of when my therapist who I conned into reading mdzs after 8 months of never shutting up oof brought it to my attention like two weeks ago. /o\

We never read about Jiang Yanli carrying a sword in the novel, though we are told that her cultivation is “mediocre”, so we know that she at least does cultivate, even if not very well. Highlighting her poor health in CQL makes her situation more clear, I think, and explains a little more about the way she’s perceived throughout the cultivation world as someone “not worthy of Jin Zixuan”. The novel tells us that Jiang Yanli is not an extraordinary beauty, not very good at cultivation, sort of bland in her expressions, and, very briefly, that she’s in poor health. I really love that description of Jiang Yanli, because it emphasizes that her worth has nothing at all to do with her talents, her health, her cultivation, her physical strength, or her beauty. She is the best person in the whole world, her brothers adore her, and the audience loves and respects her for reasons wholly unrelated to those value judgments. We love her because she is kind, because she is loyal, because she loves so deeply. Tbh, her only imperfection is falling for someone so tragically undeserving of her. (JK, I love you Jin Zixuan, and you do deserve her because you are an excellent boy who grows and changes and learns!! I can’t even be mean to characters as a joke god.)

Anyways, I just think the detail about her health is compelling and informs her character’s position in the world in a very specific way. I’m happy that CQL brought it to the forefront when it was kind of an easily-missed throwaway in the novel. It does mean something to me that Jiang Yanli, despite her poor physical health, is never once seen or treated as a burden by her brothers.

Something partially related that really hit hard was this:

[ID: two gifs. Jiang Yanli peeling lotus pods, looking up uncomfortably as her mother loses her temper about the Wen indoctrination at the table from episode 11 of The Untamed drama. /end ID]

D8 AAAAHHH this was VISCERAL. The novel is quite sparse in a lot of its descriptions and lets the audience fill in the missing details, so Jiang Yanli’s expression and reactions are not described when, after Jiang Cheng quickly volunteers to go to Qishan, Madam Yu accuses her of continuing to “happily peel lotus seeds” in such a dire situation.

“Of course you’ll go,” she snaps to Jiang Cheng. “Or else do you think we should let your sister go?”

This scene triggered me so bad lmfao, so I guess it’s kind of weird that I love it so much, but I felt Seen. Something about the way her nail slips in the second gif as she breaks open the pod is like. Oh, that’s a sense memory! Of me, as a child, witnessing uncomfortable conflict between people I cared about. I know this is an extremely personal bias, but hey, so is this whole meta. Because Jiang Yanli is often silent and quiet, it’s more her behavior and expressions that convey her character. It’s why the moment she lets loose on Jin Zixun is so powerful. We don’t get to see a lot of it in the novel, but because CQL is a visual medium, her character is a lot easier to pin down as a human as opposed to an abstract concept.

Anyways, in this moment, which I also think is a tangential reference to her weak constitution (it doesn’t feel like, “your sister can’t go because she’s a girl”; it feels like, “your sister can’t go because she couldn’t handle it”), we get to see Jiang Yanli’s own reaction to her perceived inadequacy. We see it in other places too—like how upset she is when Jin Zixuan dismisses her in several scenes, but this is the one that hits me the hardest because it’s about how her weakness is going to put her little brother in grave danger.

Last Yunmeng siblings with focus on Jiang Yanli scene that isn’t in the novel that I’m just absolutely wrecked over: the dream sequence in episode 28, when Jiang Yanli dreams about Wei Wuxian sailing away from her, but no matter how she shouts, or how she begs Jiang Cheng to help her, she can’t bring him back home.

I’m not going to gif it because I literally just like, fast-forwarded through it and started sobbing uncontrollably in front of my laptop, dear god.

I don’t know where the CQL writers found the backdoor directly into my brain’s nightmare center, but?? they sure did! IDK, I can see how this might be kind of heavy-handed, but it just. The sensation of being in a dream where something is going terribly wrong, but you’re the only one who seems to see it happening? But there’s nothing you can do? I feel like it’s a very fitting nightmare to give Jiang Yanli, who is acutely aware and constantly reminded of how little power she has in the world: not good enough for the boy she likes, not healthy enough to cultivate well, not strong enough to keep her family together.

The whole, elder siblings trying and failing to protect their younger siblings pattern is A Lot in the story, but there’s something particularly painful about seeing it happen to Jiang Yanli because of that awareness. All the other elder siblings are exceptionally talented or powerful in obvious ways. All Jiang Yanli has is the force of her will and the force of her love, and she knows it isn’t enough.

I care a lot about the Yunmeng siblings, okay! And I think CQL did right by them!

I’m only going to spend two seconds talking about Jin Zixuan and Mianmian, but I DO want to mention them.

Anyways, because we get more Jiang Yanli content, we ALSO get more soft xuanli, which is Very Good. Literally my kingdom for disaster het Jin Zixuan treating my girl right!! CQL said het rights, and I’m not even mad about it! I’m really happy that we get to see a little more of how their relationship plays out, and how hard Jin Zixuan works to change his behavior and apologize to her for his mistakes. The novel is from Wei Wuxian’s POV, so we miss the details, alas. Jin Zixuan covered in mud, planting lotuses? Blessed.

I think part of making Mianmian a larger speaking role is for convenience’s sake, but oh boy do I love that choice. Especially the Jin Zixuan & Mianmian relationship. Like, they’re so clearly platonic, and Mianmian is never once portrayed as a threat to Jiang Yanli. They just care about and respect each other a lot? Jin Zixuan’s distress when she defects from the Jin sect gets me in the heart, because it’s just like. God. I think there’s a lot of interesting potential there for her own thoughts re: Wei Wuxian. After all, she leaves her sect in defense of him, but he later kills a friend that she respects and loves. The moments shared between her and Jin Zixuan are minor, but they hint at a deeper relationship that I’m really glad was in the show.

3. To curb the strong, defend the weak: lantern scene (gusu) + rain scene (qiongqi dao 1.0)

I think I basically already explained why I love this so much in this post (just consider that post and this point to be the same haha), but just. Okay. A short addendum.

As much as I love novel wangxian, I really think that including this scene early on emphasizes why Lan Wangji loves Wei Wuxian so deeply. Of course he thinks Wei Wuxian is attractive, but this is the moment when he realizes, oh, this is who I love. Having that moment to reflect upon throughout Wei Wuxian’s descent is so excellent. I have enumerated all of my issues with the “perfectly righteous Wei Wuxian” arc that CQL crafted, but having this narrative throughline in conjunction with the novel arc would be like. My favored supercanon ahaha. (It would need some tweaking, but I think it would work.) It shows us exactly who it is that Lan Wangji sees and is trying to save, who he thinks is still there, underneath all the carnage and despair and violence and grief. This is the Wei Wuxian Lan Wangji loves and is unwilling to let go. This is the Wei Wuxian that Lan Wangji would kill for, that Lan Wangji would stand beside, that Lan Wangji would live for.

4. Meeting Songxiao

As much as I love the unnameable ache of Wei Wuxian never meeting Xiao Xingchen and learning only about his story through secondhand sources in the novel (and the really cool parallel to that where Xiao Xingchen tells A’Qing the story of Baoshan-sanren’s ill-fated disciples: both Xiao Xingchen and Wei Wuxian learn of each other only through the eyes of others, and that is Very Neat), I think the reversal that this meeting in episode 10 sets up wins out just slightly.

I said once in the tags on one of my posts that “songxiao is the tragic parallel of wangxian” and like. Yeah. Basically! If we take songxiao as romantic, the arc of their relationship happens inversely to wangxian, and that parallel is so much clearer and stronger when we have wangxian meeting songxiao in their youth.

The scene of their meeting really does have that Mood™ of uncertain youth seeing happy and secure adults living out the dreams that they’re afraid to name. Wei Wuxian’s eager little, “oh! just like me and Lan Zhan!! Right, Lan Zhan??” when songxiao talk about cultivating together through shared ideals and not blood is. Well, it’s Something.

When they meet again at Yi City, there’s a greater heaviness to it. So this is what happened to the people you once dreamed of becoming! Wangxian have already come to a point where they have an unspoken understanding of their relationship, but Songxiao have lost everything they once had. When Song Lan looks at wangxian, it’s like looking at a mirror of his past, and everyone in attendance knows it.

To me, that unspoken parallel is really emotionally and thematically valuable. All that good, and here is the tragedy that came of it.

okay, look! I managed to keep it shorter!! here are my honorable mentions: that scene where Jin Guangyao tries to hold Jin Ling and Jin Guangshan refuses to let him (it’s hating Jin Guangshan hours all day every day in this household), the grass butterfly leitmotif for Sizhui (im literally crying right now about it shut up), the Jiang Cheng/Wen Qing sideplot (look I know it’s wild that I actually liked that given that I headcanon JC as aspec, but I actually really like how it played out, specifically because Wen Qing and Wei Wuxian are NOT romantic—it sets up an unexpected and interesting comparison)

um. Anyways. I uh. really care about this story. And have a lot of thoughts, which I’m sure will continue to evolve. Maybe in 8 months I’ll return to this and go well, literally none of this applies anymore, but who knows! It’s how I feel right now. I cried literally three times while writing this because MDZS/CQL reached into my chest and yanked my heart right out of my body, but I had fun! *finger guns*

and like, I know I had a LOT to say about what frustrated me about CQL, but I really really hope it’s clear that I adore the show despite all of that. I talk a lot because I care a lot, and my brain only has one setting.

anon, this was like 1000% more than you bargained for, I’m SURE, (and I’m still exercising some restraint, if you can. believe that.) but I hope that you or someone out there got something out of it! if you made it all the way to the end of this meta, wow!! consider me surprised and grateful!!

time to crawl back into my hovel so I can write Lan Xichen fic and cry

(ko-fi? ;A;)

#the untamed #the untamed meta #mdzs #mdzs meme #mo dao zu shi #mine #mymeta #asks and replies #Anonymous #HOOOOOO BOY GUYS #we are just shy of 10k on this #*buries face in hands*#cyan writes #cyan gets too deep in the weeds #i will be shocked if more than like ten people read this #by the end it was just like well i guess this is just for me now lmfao #anyways. i will now. leave the internet for a while. thanks

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katnissmellarkkk · 3 years

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Alrightttt, I’m on a roll so we’re going onto chappy five 🥳🥳🥳😎😎

I know the movies made the Capitol — re: basically only Effie and maybe Caesar — have those ridiculous made up accents but .... I actually feel like the description of the Capitol accent in the book is supposed to be like the Kardashians or Paris Hilton’s voice. 🤷🏼‍♀️

“Why do these people speak in such a high pitch? Why do their jaws barely open when they talk? Why do the ends of their sentences go up as if they're asking a question? Odd vowels, clipped words, and always a hiss on the letter s. no wonder it's impossible not to mimic them.” Like this is a pretty good description of how Kim Kardashian and her sisters talk. And Suzzy C did say she was inspired by the juxtaposition between war news footage and ridiculous reality television shows so... I think my theory of the Capitol all talking like they’re on the Real Housewives of LA is pretty valid.

Just imagine Paris Hilton as Effie and Nicole Richie as one of her preps

Lolololol this whole section of waxing is reminding me to go get my legs waxed 😭😭😭 straight up calling me out here, Suzanne

I like how Katniss says her stylist “apparently has no interest in seeing her until the prep team has addressed obvious problems.” Like you can tell from her narration she was expecting to feel the same was about Cinna that she does about Effie and her prep team.

The “gritty loam that takes off dirt and three layers of skin” is probably just a strong exfoliator 😭😭😭 my girl knows nothing about quality skincare 🤧🤧 someone build a Panem Sephora

She mentioned them waxing her underarms.... girl, did you have hairy armpits before this? Idk why this revelation is new to me

“Grease her down!” Just sounds wrong 😅😅😅😅 I need to stop being annoying omg I’m like a twelve year old

Hmm it’s funny to me that Katniss refers to Octavia as plump. You’d think in a place like the Capitol body image and weight would be very important. Unless it’s like back in the old, old days when being overweight was a sign of wealth. Which would make more sense so this was an unnecessary thought process curtesy of Samantha

Katniss faking a smile and thanking her prep team shows she does know how to play the game and fake it better than she says.

So ... okay, hear me out, I’m not trying to get over the top or make this into something it’s not but ... the whole stylists / Cinna coming into the room and staring at her naked is a little weird. Especially considering Cinna isn’t Lenny Kravitz who’s like a bit older than her but actually like a twenty-something year old dude.

But okay, here’s the thing I was getting at ... Cinna’s one of the best people in this series and you can’t deny that. Even if you find him boring, he’s still one of Katniss’ closest people. Also he’s probably gay. But like ... what about the other stylists? I don’t wanna be that person who makes everything more than it is, but like, this scene just sounds like a perfect opportunity for some Capitol creep to assault a teenager idk I’m probably making a mountain out of a molehill just ignore Samantha okay.

That’s nice that he complimented her mama though 🥰🥰🥰

So Katniss calls District Twelve the least desirable district but ... doesn’t District Eleven suck too? Like she also later says District Twelve is the smallest and the poorest but doesn’t she also say Rue is worse off than her and Prim? Make up your mind, Suz.

Cinna claims he asked for District Twelve but did he really get an option? 😅 If it’s his first year and Katniss claims the newbies get them anyway 🤷🏼‍♀️ Samantha is once again, reading too much into this.

Awww, Katniss is thinking about how long it would take for her to assemble this fancy meal at home 🤧🤧🤧 it would take her days and the Capitol just has the necessary resources at their disposal and they just takes it for granted. And yes, I’m aware this is supposed to be calling all us readers out who take so much for granted I know. We’re the Capitol.

“How would I spend the hours I now commit to combing the woods for sustenance if it were so easy to come by?” It’s honestly so sad but so vital to her character that Katniss has zero hobbies or real free time. Her life is about surviving. She doesn’t get to live or enjoy very much of her time. She dedicates everything to keeping Prim — and her mother — alive, sacrificing everything a teenage girl should be doing. Sacrificing even the things the other girls in her world get to do. She mentions the merchant girls and the Seam girls who are more experienced romantically and sexually and socially than her. Because she doesn’t get to be a kid or innocent or even happy, in order to focus on her and her family’s survival. And the things she does enjoy, like spending time with Gale or dancing with Prim (mentioned in Mockingjay) she downplays in case they’re taken away, because nothing good is secure in her eyes. 🥺🥺🥺

Okay but what did Katniss’ facial expression give away that Cinna knew exactly what she was thinking? Or is she just less emotionless than she and Haymitch both claim? Ironically I think they’re the only people who call her emotionless which can easily be chalked up to their self-hate and terrible self-esteems.

Katniss is so afraid they’re gonna make her be naked for the parade 😭. Honestly though they’re children that’s so creepy that they’re even allowed to make 15/16/17 year olds be naked in a parade. I mean I know they kill kids every year but isn’t there like child pornography laws in Panem? 😭

“You’re not afraid of fire, are you, Katniss?” Is so foreshadowing 😭😂😅😎 Caesar Flickerman’s voice “Katniss Everdeen, the girl on fire!”

Honestly though Cinna is smart to make Katniss recognizable in the arena by leaving her with simple makeup. I know and the sky is blue we all know this already beating the dead horses until the farmer comes home.

“It crosses my mind that Cinna's calm and normal demeanor masks a complete madman.” It’s true though 😅😅😅😭😭 he was always a rebel. I actually think he may have asked for District Twelve after Katniss volunteered, because he saw the potential in her. Poor Peeta. Baby, I’m rooting you for even if no one else is.

Also I always found it a bit .... curious? That Peeta had a female stylist and Katniss had a male one? Not just because of the required nudity, you’d just think men would do better as a boy’s stylist and a woman would make a better girl’s stylist. So yes, my whole Cinna was interested in District Twelve because Katniss seemed like a good symbol for a rebellion idea seems very plausible.

I know I know I know I read wayyy too much into this stuff sometimes a cigarette 🚬 is just a cigarette 🚬

Katniss being relieved when Peeta shows up 😭😭😭 because even if she won’t admit it and even if she won’t let herself trust him, she still sees him unconsciously and completely against her will as a comfort because they’re in this thing together in a way, even if they’re supposed to try and kill each other

And honestly, it’s such a like... relatable feeling? To feel alone and nervous and uptight and then someone who you recognize — even if you maybe aren’t even friends with but you at least know — shows up and you just instantly feel less alone. I’m totally looking at this through shipper goggles and I’m not even ashamed you all knew who’s blogging you were reading ight? 😂🤣🤷🏼‍♀️

“He should know about fire, being a baker's son and all.” And he’s gonna learn a lot more about it when he falls in love — for real, falls in love, not a childhood infatuation — with the girl on fire. 🥰🥰🥰

But also, I love this particular line on a reread because it totally is an indicator towards their future. Like Peeta knows about fire, he’s experienced with how to handle it, and later on, he becomes the only person who truly comes to understand Katniss, who represents fire, in a way that no one else could ever imagine.

Hmmm, Katniss’ point of view here, talking about how Portia and Peeta’s team seem all giddy and air-headed and it’s only Cinna who seems reserved makes me rethink my previous imaginings of Peeta’s stylist. Maybe she’s just a Capitolite idiot and nothing like Cinna. And my baby got a raw deal here then too. Good thing Haymitch loves him more. Just kidding 😅😅😅

But also I wanna know why Cinna is hesitant to accept congratulations for his and Portia’s idea? Wasn’t he at least lowkey excited about it when he pitched it a page ago?

Their horses are coal black 🐴 😅. I like that they went the whole nine yards with the theme. Nothing but the best for the kids on Death Row.

Aww Katniss asking Peeta what he thinks about being set on fire is so sweet and pure for some reason. I just find their commodore here cute ok

“I'll rip off your cape if you'll rip off mine” this is literally their first friend type of interaction and it’s so pure y’all leave me be I’m emotional for them

🙃 Also lowkey reminds me of “I’ll show you mine if you show me yours.” Everyone look away ok I’m sorry

Peeta’s shady/annoyed Haymitch comment and Katniss’ joke at his expense 🤣🤣😂🤣😂😂🥲🥲☺️🥲🥲 they’re bonding it’s so presh

“And suddenly we're both laughing.” I hope they laugh a lot together post-canon 🥲🥲🥲. If they can make the other laugh during their terrible circumstances, then they can make the other laugh anywhere. 🤧 Except in Thirteen because he’s hijacked and she’s certifiable and they’re both so used and abused and 🥺🥺🥺🥺

Okay I have to say, Suzanne Collins really builds up a lot for certain events and then just like grazes over the actual action of said event? Like she builds towards the tribute parade but then kind of rushes through off the actual event itself? It’s a common theme in her writing. And I don’t like it at all ngl.

Oh wait she doesn’t actually rush the parade events the paragraph before just looked like she was about to I jumped the gun 🤣😂🤭 but what I said is still completely true for many events in these books sorry not sorry

I’m definitely reading too much into it but the fact that District One — the favorite of the Capitol — gets snow white horses and District Twelve gets coal black horsies kind of ... seems to imply something .... 🤭

Cinna just lets out a sigh of relief “it worked” like ... way to fill your tributes with hope, dude. “Yeah, you’re totally safe, don’t be scared-OH THANK GOD THAT WORKED I wasn’t actually sure you wouldn’t blow up.” But actually this answers my previous inquiry about why he seemed hesitant I guess he wasn’t even sure this wouldn’t burn them up that’s nice 🤭🙃

It’s a literal trial by fire *cue drum hit* 🥁 aww, I just cracked myself up 😭

“Then he gently tucks a hand under my chin. "Remember, heads high. Smiles. They're going to love you!" This is caught halfway between being very Capitol-y and very father-brotherly and idk which way to take it but it’s kind of cute 🤭

“For the first time, I look at him and realize that ablaze with the fake flames, he is dazzling.” This is such a significant line because Katniss isn’t saying Peeta is technically good looking (like when Haymitch said they were decently attractive) or someone else thinks he’s good looking (i.e Gale, her mother and lowkey Finnick) but she’s saying she herself thinks he’s attractive. Girl, your crush is showing.

"I think he said for us to hold hands," says Peeta.” I’m sure Cinna actually did say that but this just seems like a very good opportunity for Peeta to hold the hand of the girl he has a massive crush on. 😭😭😭

Okay Cinna gave a thumbs up so he actually was saying that but can you imagine Peeta’s excitement right now?

I mean, yeahhhh, there’s the certain death looming over him too but like live in the moment, babe. 🥰😘🤗👌🏻

I like that Katniss says the crowd is at first like 😳😳😳 before they start cheering like they’re thinking “what are these backwoods, hillbilly kids doing this year?”

“At first, I'm frozen, but then I catch sight of us on a large television screen and am floored by how breathtaking we look. In the deepening twilight, the firelight illuminates our faces” okay they both have to be pretty naturally attractive people objectively, because you illuminate my face without much makeup and no one is gonna be cheering.

“Remember, heads high. Smiles. They're going to love you! I hear Cinna's voice in my head. I lift my chin a bit higher, put on my most winning smile, and wave with my free hand.” I wonder what the true difference is for Katniss between Cinna and Effie saying this to her? Maybe it’s that Effie is just outright mean to her sometimes whereas Cinna shows her nothing but kindness from the start and expresses sympathy and understanding? It’s probably that he’s already earning her trust versus Effie who’s just cruel I’m not over her comments on the train ok

“I'm glad now I have Peeta to clutch for balance, he is so steady, solid as a rock.” Right from the start, Katniss refers to Peeta as solid and steady. Idk, I feel like this is something that the movies really misses along the way. Katniss wasn’t always strong or confident at all and Peeta, at least publicly, exuded those qualities pretty well. Samantha’s complaining again ™️ 💁🏼‍♀️🤦🏼‍♀️

Also this is just outright foreshadowing how Peeta will eventually become her rock. Or that he will be soon painted a rock ... pick and choose which way you wanna go with this. 🤷🏼‍♀️💁🏼‍♀️😅🤣

“As I gain confidence, I actually blow a few kisses to the crowd.” Okay, see I feel like Peeta really gives Katniss confidence in herself. If he’d been there in District Thirteen and they’d done propos together, she probably would have been a thousand times better.

But also this makes me think Katniss actually has it in her to be a charismatic, confident, alluring celebrity. She just chooses not to. 🤗🤗🤗

But this also reminds me of “She has no idea the effect she can have” okay imma move on and stop focusing on every little detail

I say that every chapter 🤧😅

“The pounding music, the cheers, the admiration work their way into my blood, and I can't suppress my excitement.” Say whatever you want, Katniss is still such a girl underneath it all. She gets excited over people liking her and cheering her on. And I know it’s because it increases her chances of getting sponsors but still

Honestly Peeta trying to showcase Katniss and let her take the spotlight is so selfless and indicative of his ultimate plan to help her win but also ... I can see how Katniss would believe it’s too good to be true and he’s messing with her. That he’s just playing the game to earn her trust, get her guard down and manipulate her later.

See, Peeta is actually framed at the start like the typical, standard YA love interest turned villain. In majority of YA books, at this point the boy is kind and sweet and helpful to the girl until she trusts him completely and then he turns on her and uses everything she gave him to destroy her. But the difference is, Katniss refuses to truly trust him and she is guessing his game incorrectly at every step. And then it’s revealed that it was never a game and he truly isn’t messing with her and everything he’s done that’s seem too good to be true and not even remotely plausible has actually been genuine and heartfelt and that, my friends, is why Peeta is above all other YA love interests. Because Everlark is actually the foil to many of the cliches. That was a long speech over some incoherent thoughts I’m so sorry if you suffered through that.

“It's not until we enter the City Circle that I realize I must have completely stopped the circulation in Peeta's hand. That's how tightly I've been holding it.” Awww he is her rock 😭🤧🥺

"No, don't let go of me," he says. The firelight flickers off his blue eyes. "Please. I might fall out of this thing." Okay this part is so cute and so blatantly setting Peeta up as her main love interest omg 😅 this isn’t the least bit subtle or disguised. But first off, the fact that Katniss is also Peeta’s stability here too 😭😭😭 and second of all, she takes time to notice his blue eyes against the firelight? She was attracted to him from the very start, y’all. That’s indisputable. 👌🏻😎🤧

“It's not really fair to present us as a team and then lock us into the arena to kill each other.” I agree with you, baby, it’s not fair at all. But you two take care of that situation nicely. Or not. Y’all do start a dang war. 🤭🤭🙃🙃

It’s rather ... ironic that it’s District Twelve’s chariot of them all that is pulled up and stopped directly in front of President Snow’s mansion. I know it’s a book, certain details like this are definitively contrived, I know get over it. 🤦🏼‍♀️💁🏼‍♀️

So uh. Snow is a small thin man? Why do I suddenly imagine Danny Devito as Snow 😅😅😅😅🤣🤣🤣🤣 y’all know he’d kill the role

“The darker it becomes, the more difficult it is to take your eyes off our flickering.” Okay, this is such a great line and it’s so significant to the rest of the series? The fact that Katniss — and Peeta, let’s not forget our boy — became symbols of the revolution. Like this line is deep if you think about it. The worse things in Panem got, the more the civilians looked towards Katniss and Peeta for hope 🥺🥺🥺🥺🥰🥰🥰🥰

Omg now after Songbirds and Snakes, we know the national anthem. I’m sorry, babies, that you have to endure that I’ll get you out of there 🙉🙉🙉

I feel like in part, the Capitol camera crew — Cressida, Pollux .... Pollux’s brother... is that you here???? — put so much attention on District Twelve because it would create some resentment and competition between them and the careers 🤭🤗

“I notice a lot of the other tributes are shooting us dirty looks, which confirms what I've suspected, we've literally outshone them all.” Insert Gretchen Wieners “I can’t help that I’m popular!” 😅😅😅😅😅

“I realize I'm still glued to Peeta and force my stiff fingers to open. We both massage our hands.” — they were hanging on so tight 😭😭😭😭

“Thanks for keeping hold of me.” He’s so sweet ☺️☺️☺️ I love him even if he’s kind of an idiot sometimes but so is Katniss so let’s not point fingers

“I'm sure they didn't notice anything but you. [...] And then he gives me a smile that seems so genuinely sweet with just the right touch of shyness” Omg I know Katniss views this as him trying to manipulate her but the fact that he’s actually just admitting the way he’s felt for years is so 😭😭😭😭 if only you’d spit it out sooner, Bready

“he gives me a smile that seems so genuinely sweet with just the right touch of shyness that unexpected warmth rushes through me.” She literally has a crush on her fellow tribute and her first line of defense is to decide he out to get her for making her feel this way 🤣😭🙃

“The more likable he is, the more deadly he is.” The more my crush grows, the more deadly he becomes. I know I’m reading this with shipper goggles but guess what? I’m unashamed. 🤷🏼‍♀️🤷🏼‍♀️🤷🏼‍♀️🤷🏼‍♀️ who feels guilty for reading this book with an Everlark bias not this girl right here 🙋🏼‍♀️🙋🏼‍♀️🙋🏼‍♀️

“I stand on tiptoe and kiss his cheek. Right on his bruise.” Okay first off, she says cheek here but according to a chapter ago, she claimed the mark was on his jaw... so in other words, she’s incredibly short. If a medium height guy has a bruise on his jaw and she has to stand on her tip toe to reach it... well... hashtag LittleKatniss

And second off.... can you even imagine how Peeta must feel. He genuinely complimented her here, the girl he has had a crush on forever, and she responds by kissing his cheek. He was probably really happy at this moment. And also this probably played further into his buying into her false display in the arena. That here we have her clutching his hand, smiling and laughing with him and kissing his cheek. Idk what I was trying to say necessarily but I made myself sad wow way to go me 🥺🥺🥺🥺🤧🤧🤧

Anyways! Those are my very over the top and too detailed thoughts! Hope you enjoyed if you read this! 🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🥳🥳🥳🥳🥳🥳🥳😎😎😎😎😎😎😎🥰🥰🥰🥰🥰🥰🥰🥰

#thgagain #once again the Jen gifs are still headlining these posts 🥳🥳🥳#this isn’t as funny as my others so I’m sorry y’all #but I like nice commentary on these posts makes me feel less alone so feel free

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rawliverandcigarettes · 3 years

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If you're still willing to do the character meme, I won't ask about Aria since you already discussed her at length not that long ago, but /is/ there a character you would like to talk about but which is, shall we say, less obvious than Mordin ? Basically, [Insert Character Here] for the meme. No pressure though.

Hey, thank you for the freedom (and so very sorry about how late I am ;_;)! I pondered a lot about who I wanted to ramble around, and I think I've been in a big Miranda mood lately so I'm going to talk about Miss Lawson!

favorite thing about them: her relationship with expectations and accomplishment/self-definition. The more I replay the game, the more that specific aspect of her deeply touches me, to the point where I discover myself relating to her more than with any other character in the games. She’s at once trying to follow an impossible blueprint, being expected to behave perfectly because she was “made that way” (whatever perfect means, in this instance the weirdly fetishist definition of a weird rich white guy), but at the same time if she expresses these controlling behaviors towards herself or others, she’s bossy and unlikeable. It’s almost like she’s been made to play a game she cannot win! (not to excuse the shitty controlling things she does to Shepard’s body and the fact she’s literally in a pro-human terrorist ring, but this mess does make a lot of sense with who she is, her envy, how she was shaped) Her relationship to Oriana is also very sweet (I almost always shed a tear at the end of her loyalty mission, I don’t know why this gets me when it’s so hard to get to my tearducts in videogames!!!), because in a way it’s also about Miranda showing herself compassion, and revealing her yearning at a second chance she’ll never have but can only offer to someone else.

least favorite thing about them: unoriginal, but the fixation on the butt? It’s a fanbase thing pushed by the game and its weird fixation on it, but... yeah, while I don’t mind that she uses her sexuality as a form of powermove (people are going to be gross about her anyway, may as well own it and make it do work for her, I get that), I think the fixation on the butt iiis weird and quite deshumanizing and it completely glosses over her great boobs COME ON PEOPLE

favorite line: I don’t remember the specifics, but the entire dialogue where she talks about the complex relationship she has with envy. Envy of Shepard, envy of Mordin, envy of everyone who was allowed and encouraged to express their full potential without feeling like they own all their accomplishments to the person who made them, and all their failures to themselves. She was designed to shine, and then made to step in the shadow of, mostly, “greater men” (her father, TIM, even MShep in the “default” way ME2 was marketed). This sucks!!!! I feel that so bad!!!!

brOTP: I mentioned her and Mordin in Mordin’s ask, and I still enjoy that quite a lot! I also saw several mentions of Miranda and Grunt bonding over being “made”, and I am won over. This is very cute. But to be honest she strikes me as severely lonely because she’s crippled with her inner battle against herself and can be cold and offputting as a mean to assess control, so I think it takes her a long time to open up to anyone in the Normandy crew --especially since nobody likes her really. Perhaps she could have courteous exchanges with people like Samara or Thane, but I don’t see her baring her soul to any of them before perhaps late in ME3 (Citadel DLC and such). I like the potential of what her relationship to Oriana could end up looking like too, obviously!

OTP: honestly I really like a well-made Miranda/Jack. It can absolutely have this catty/porny “hot girls fighting” vibe which is not mine personally, but I think having Miranda reconciling with her own story of objectification/grooming at the hands of Cerberus alongside Jack is interesting, as well as allowing herself some leeway and tap into more spontaneity would really help. Jack, on the other hand, might need someone stabler to allow for her growth, and someone she can also somewhat hold accountable. I feel like that’s a delicate thread and I’m not even sure this would be the kind of relationship that *should* last given how intricately linked Jack’s history of trauma is to Miranda, but I enjoy the idea of a post-war relationship that takes slow steps and allow both of them to calm down, reconsider and heal. I saw mentions of Miranda and Kaidan, and I don’t hate it either! I think he would pair with her quite well, be a good support and they could have a nice equal relationship. Miranda and Jacob could be a thing? But I don’t entirely understand what their dynamic would have been like so I’m left grabbing at straws here (and she seems to be quite formal towards Jacob all things considered so I’m wondering what that even looked like).

nOTP: I don’t really have one. Even the really bad ones (like Illusive ManXMiranda) could be interesting if written well, even if they are repulsive in other aspects. I guess her relationship with MShep can irk me if “poorly written”, as it can absolutely make her that femme fatale prize of MShep that deny her that equal recognition I understand her to crave.

random headcanon: I HC that, despite being quite dominant in the ME2 love scene, her romantic behavior would be a little more muted once she trusts her partner (I believe she did that whole show to impress Shepard and try to control/maintain a sense of superiority because she’s afraid to be crushed by a stronger force than her, as mentioned above). I think she needs to be vulnerable in private and strong in public to be at her more confident/healthiest mentally, but I’m not even sure she’s ready to express that desire to herself yet (or maybe by mid ME3).

unpopular opinion: I’m not sold on Miranda wanting a “normal life” necessarily as presented in the Citadel DLC? I think she does need to relax and stop putting so much pressure on herself for sure, but I still believe she also wants to become her own beacon, the hero of her own causes, defined by herself. I wish we could have seen her become a little more of that before the end of the game (like the organizer of a movement aiming at taking down Cerberus from the inside-out, something like that, unrelated to her father/her genetics). I don’t know how I feel about us telling her (especially in the romance) to “just chill out and have a normal life”, while in ME2 she had trouble with finding her own success and didn’t ask to be made lesser. She didn’t want to be normal for its own sake, she wanted to be normal so she could exist without the shadow of everyone that defined her getting in the way (I also believe that’s why Cerberus’ views spoke to her, as warped and messed up as they are --their goal is very much about self-definition, at any cost). But it’s possible I’m projecting, I wouldn’t put it past me. :) :) :)

(From: https://rawliverandcigarettes.tumblr.com/post/659045472796803072/mushroom-cookie-bears-send-me-a-character-and)

#miranda lawson #ask #Mass Effect #oriana lawson #grunt #tim #jack #mshepard

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lonelier-version-of-you · 3 years

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That... was pretty mediocre for an anniversary episode? Although 35th anniversaries aren’t usually very big anyway, so. I suppose that’s justified. It was better than last week’s ep (to be fair, that’s a VERY low bar, it would’ve been pretty much impossible for it to be worse than last week), but the show is still on shaky ground for me. I honestly don’t know if I’ll keep watching past this point. If I do keep watching, it’ll just be for Jade, ‘cause she’s brilliant.

Anyway.

I only tuned in tonight to see Noel one last time, and in that respect, I’m pretty satisfied. I know a lot of people were saying the same about Cal, but I’m not particularly familiar with Cal, I started watching a few months after his death and haven’t seen that many older episodes with him. It was nice to see him again, though. But my focus really was on Noel.

He actually got more screentime than I expected, and it was lovely, if also painful, to be reminded of what a great character he was. To see his compassion, the way he went above and beyond for the patients and relatives in the ED, even though he was only the receptionist. To see him laughing with Big Mac, showing off his friendliness and sense of humour.

And then there was the “grandpa Noel” line. OW. Casualty got me right through the heart with that one.

I miss Noel so much. But I’m glad his final scenes got to be here, rather than in the COVID episode, which pretended to be about him but was actually just about Connie and her feelings. (I love Connie. You know I do. But it did Noel a disservice, focusing his death episode on how Connie felt about it.) And he’ll forever live on in my heart. Noel, my beloved. <3

Indeed, the flashback scenes in general were probably the best part of the ep. They did a very good job making it really feel like 2016 Casualty - to the point my mom, while watching the episode with me, commented “This is just making me think ‘Oh, it was so much better in the old days!’. I don’t think that’s what they’re going for.” For once, my mom is right and she should say it, lol.

I particularly loved how Jade was tied into the flashback. I wasn’t expecting that at all, and I was very pleasantly surprised. If you all haven’t figured it out yet, I really love Jade. She’s one of the very best characters Casualty has at the moment, and she has to be one of my personal favourite fictional characters ever. The more screentime and storylines she gets, the more I enjoy an episode.

Poor, poor Ethan, eh? His life just really, really sucks. His brother was brutally murdered. He has a terminal illness that will eventually rob him of his ability to be a doctor. He’s lost both his biological and adoptive mothers. Now he’s lost the woman he loved, on the day they were supposed to get married. Now he’s been left as a single parent, knowing that, even in the most optimistic scenario, even if his condition can be managed for a long time, he’s still not going to live long enough to see his son become an adult and start a career and have kids. God, that poor man. No wonder he’s having a breakdown.

And now Stevie is about to cause more trouble for him. I like Stevie so far, and find her an interesting character. I am curious about how the storyline with her sister is going to play out. But oof, her arrival sucks for Ethan, given she blames him for what’s happened to Emma. And she’s definitely a very flawed character. (And please, fandom, stop hating on her this soon and let her be flawed. You’re allowed to dislike her, but you can’t deny she’d be getting a lot more interest and sympathy if she were a male character behaving in exactly the same ways. There are plenty of male characters on this show who aren’t very good people but we love them anyway.)

Anyway, speaking of Stevie, we’re all agreed that she’s definitely not straight or neurotypical, right? She just gives off strong sapphic vibes, she’s probably bi. And she hasn’t been around long enough and doesn’t have a defined enough personality yet for me to figure out quite what I think is going on in her brain, but she’s definitely some kind of neurodivergent. My first thought, being me, was autism - I’ve seen other people suggest ADHD or bipolar. I guess we’ll have to see how her character develops, in order to see what fits best.

And Stevie is also polyamorous!!! That one’s canon!!! Okay, the line about her going out with 3 different guys with the same name at once could mean she was cheating on all of them. But I’m taking it to mean she’s polyamorous! And no one can stop me! :D

Uhhh, what else is there to talk about... oh yeah, I like Theodore so far (even if he - and the other paramedic from the trailer - does look about 12, lol), I literally don’t care about Charlie or Robyn or Paul, we got some good Dylan content tonight, and last but not least I have no sympathy for Faith. Sorry not sorry, she treated Lev like shit. I don’t care about how she feels now that he’s dead.

#BBC Casualty #Casualty spoilers

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sparkleofpizza · 4 years

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Being a Kent and dating a batboy - headcanon

Tim Drake

You were Clark’s adoptive daughter, he had decided to take you in after your parents left you behind;

You were Conner and Jon’s little sister;

Very overprotective over you;

You had known Tim for a very long time now, since he was Conner’s best friend and all;

You though he was very cute, not that you would admit it to anyone;

Lois knew - she knew everything, but didn’t say anything to you, letting you tell her yourself when you felt comfortable enough to;

She knew the boys would freak out if they found out, even Clark;

Lex Luthor was planning something big and bad, very bad;

Lois was out of the country for some conference she would be covering for te Daily Planet and they’d be damned if they let anything happen to you, so they did the most logic thing they could think of at the moment: send you away to stay at the Wayne Manor while they sorted things out;

You weren’t a super and although you knew how to fight they couldn’t risk you getting hurt;

You were offended they thought you couldn’t handle yourself, but knew they were only doing it out of love;

You also wouldn’t pass up the opportunity of spending some quality time with Tim without one of your brother lurking around;

He was over the moon to know you were staying over for a while;

The both of you did everything together;

Stayed up all night working on cases;

Drank a lot of coffee;

Went on little coffee dates, not like you actually called it a date;

Watched movies and lots of tv shows;

Sparred together;

The nights Tim left for patrol were the worse, you would stay up waiting for him to come back, worried out of your mind;

I mean, your brothers and father were fighting a big threat back home, and your crush was risking his neck to save the city, it is impossible not to worry;

So one night you wrapped yourself up in one of his blankets and lied on his bed, waiting for him to return;

Oh, when he saw you so peacefully asleep, he felt like his heart was going to explode, you were just so so so adorable;

He lied down next to you, groaning a bit since he got hurt during patrol;

You sat up, eyes wide open when you heard that sound, turning around and grabbing his face in between your hands;

“Are you hurt?” You asked, way too serious “It’s just a broken rib” He smiled at you, leaning in your touch

To this day you still don’t know what gotten into you, but you pressed your lips against his in a heated kiss, pouring all of your emotions in it;

He obviously kissed you back;

You spend the rest of the night in each others arms, professing their love for one another;

Actually, you started to spend most of your nights like that;

And days too;

You were always in each others embrace;

You were afraid to tell your brothers and father that you and Tim were dating;

You were pretty sure Conner would freak out, you are his little sister and you’re dating his best friend;,

The both of you would sneak out a lot after you went home;

Whenever Tim was around you and your brothers or his brothers were there too, he had to fight back the urge to just wrap his arms around your waist and prep kisses all over your face;

You would sneak off a lot, not really wanting anyone to know about your relationship;

Damian was the first one to find out about you and Tim and surprisingly allowed you to tell the news to everyone when you were ready for it;

Lois knew, of course she knew, you couldn’t just get your first boyfriend who was also a vigilant and your brother’s best friend and just not tell your mother about it;

It was a chaos when everyone found out;

You and Tim were cuddling in the Cave, him working and you sitting on his lap, massaging his scalp and playing with his hair;

Conner yelled and tried to kill your boyfriend the moment he saw it;

Jon tried to kill him too, Clark was just too shocked to say something;

Bruce stood still watching the scene unfold before he tried to break them free;

Jason slid some money to Dick, loosing the bet they had placed on the both of you as Damian shook his head in shame;

The fight had escalated way too quickly;

You were so frustrated you said you would only talk to them when they learned how to behave like proper human beings and not treat you like an object of possession;

Walking alone I’m Gotham at 3 am couldn’t possibly be a good idea, but there you were, on your own only wearing a hood and not even carrying your phone with you;

You ended up with a superficial cut on your side and a bruised hand after kicking 4 thugs asses on your own;

Tim was the first to find you, pulling you into a tight embrace, but panicking once he saw some blood dripping - it was really a small cut, but he carried you to the hospital despite your protests;

Your father and brothers soon learned about where you were, they were kind of shocked that Tim thought you should get medical help when you clearly had a very superficial cut and Alfred could’ve handled it in a blink of an eye;

That kind of made them start to change their minds about you guys relationship;

Of course it doesn’t mean that Jon and specially Conner didn’t threatened to kill Tim very slowly if he ever hurt you, and that they were always keeping an eye on you;

So secret make out sessions had to become even more secretive and silent, God you hated super hearing;

You once had to stay with your hair down for almost a week because of a hickey Tim left on your neck, and from there on you both agreed that hickeys were only allowed in the body parts that would remain covered in clothing;

Overall, dis-considering your family overprotectiveness, you were just too happy;

Tim made you happy and you loved him.

Damian Wayne

You were Clark’s baby daughter;

Actually just two years younger than Jon, but they still treated you as a baby;

You didn’t really want to take on the mantle of being Supergirl, so you only ever did superhero activity when it was extremely important;

That being said you weren’t a big part of meeting your family vigilantes and superhero acquaintances;

You actually randomly met Damian not knowing he was your brother’s friend - you knew of him, but didn’t remember his face;

He was in Metropolis to visit Jon and they were supposed to meet at an ice cream shop, but he got lost, running into you. You being he nice person you are decided to take him there, and then once you saw your brother, you were really confused until you realized they were friends;

Damian thought you were a bit stupid, he knew who you were and you didn’t recognize him - he was just bitter that you didn’t remember his face;

You took it upon yourself to make up for the fact that you didn’t remember him, you were feeling so guilty over it;

So every time you saw Damian you would brightly smile at him and ask him how he was doing, ask him about his pets - you learned that from Jon - ask him about Robin, but he didn’t seem to want to talk;

You were sure he hated you, and that made you really sad;

You just had a minor huge crush on him;

One day you had a horrible day at school, people were mean, you failed a geometry test and it just straight up sucked to the point that literally anything could make you cry, so when you only muttered a small hello upon seeing Damian he knew something was up, and he was onto it to find out what it was;

Oh boy, once he cornered you and saw your big round sad eyes full of tears and lip quivering from trying not to cry he promised he would break every single bone of whoever had done that to you;

See, he had a crush on you too;

He started tutoring you on geometry, and you actually improved, he was done with school, but was so smart and that made you a bit more attracted to him;

Your mom, Lois, asked you about your feelings towards him, but you just brushed it off, you didn’t confirm nor denied it;

One day during one of your study dates, Damian placed his hand on your thigh, you tried to ignore it, but before you could realized it you were both kissing each other with you being lied on bed with him on top of you;

That became normal and shortly after you two were dating;

Damian wanted to make things right, so he planned a dinner with both his and yours family to announce you two were dating;

Everyone was shocked, Damian was dating? And it was you????

Jon wanted to jump up his neck and kill him, how could he date his little sister? The bro code!

Damian was unfazed and so were you, not letting anyone get in the middle of your relationship;

Clark was a bit weirded out because you were dating Bruce’s son, but he knew he was a good kid so it was ok for him, Conner thought it was odd and gave Damian a threat if he ever hurt you, Lois was over the moon;

But they were all a bit skepitical about your relationship, everyone thought you wouldn’t last too long;

You were happy everyone took it better than expected, Jon would get there someday too, he couldn’t be mad at you both forever;

Or so you thought;

You and Damian had a date planned? Better think again, Jon is there to ruin it;

You two are making out? Better run fast because Jon is ready to punch Damian;

The truth was that he was feeling left out, Damian is his best friend and he didn’t say anything about liking you, he had to find out when you both got together, and well you’re his sister dating his best friend! It is weird for him!

Everyone soon found out Damian meant serious business with you, the hardest and most horrible way, but they did;

You were out on the field with everyone, it was one of those times there was a big threat and you had to help out;

You were about the get shot and Damian just jumped in front of you, taking the bullet for you;

“Did you just take a bullet for me?” You yelled, kneeling down and pressing on the wound He smiled weekly at you “Of course, beloved, I couldn’t let you get hurt” You looked skeptically at him “You do realize I’m bulletproof, right?”

Jon was flipping his shit once he saw his best friend, collapsing by his side and apologizing for ever thinking he was just messing around with you, and also stating he was stupid for jumping in front of a bullet;

You stayed with Damian 24/7 during his recovery, doing everything for him and just being extra cuddly and lovely;

Jon stopped bothering you, stating he was 100% on board of you two dating, but the moment he saw you making out, Damian without a shirt and you on his lap, boy... He was traumatized.

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angelicmichael · 4 years

Text

God is a woman

(Fem!Michael Langdon x reader)

Summary: After being stranded a few days before Halloween, Reader resorts to going into the forest to look for help and instead runs into our favorite blonde antichrist and instantly becomes infatuated.

Words: 5.5k+

Warnings: This fic gets rlly fucking dark and this is lowkey dark! Michael, very detailed sacrifice scene in the beginning, stepping on someone’s neck, manipulation, neck bruises. No smut but LOTS of sexual tension hehe.

A/N: I’ve never written anything this dark before so I’m lowkey nervous to post 👉🏻👈🏻 also this is my first wlw fic! 🥳 plz reblog or heart if you enjoyed and let me know if you wanna be on the taglist! I saw a prompt about where a main character hates Halloween so that inspired me to write this. Also, romance doesn’t rlly happen until the second half of the fic so I guess this could be considered slow burn haha.

It was exactly three days away from Halloween night. In the past, you and your friends always had a ‘get together’ right before Halloween but by the looks of things; you weren’t going to make it. On the car ride over to your friends you had gotten lost, and when you stopped to look up directions on your phone - your phone died. And then.. as if the night couldn’t get any worse, your car refused to start either. You were fucked, in the middle of fucking nowhere, scared out of your mind.

So now - here you were. Lost and left only with the choice to test out your survival skills. You went into the forest to try to go find help or maybe find a house.. After all, you heard rumors about how teenagers would often go into these woods to conduct rituals, but those were just rumours.. right? Those rumors were especially prevalent near Halloween and it was only a mere three days away. It was nearing on midnight too which only seemed to make things even more creepy and set you even more on edge.

The gentle breeze that shook the trees and the brush almost made it sound like as if you were being followed. Everytime you swore you heard footsteps behind you - you would see nothing execpt a nearly black, dark green landscape instead. Shadows started to dance in your peripheral vision, you felt as if you were going crazy. You breathing quickened and you took faster steps, wanting desperately to find any signs of life or to run into another main road.

The sound of your heavy breaths and the leaves crunching under your feet seemed to be the only thing that occupied your senses; until you saw a light. In fact, it wasn’t one light but several little lights - you counted about ten of them. They seemed to be spaced out strategically, it almost looked like a circle but the shape seemed to be more intricate than that. The flames stayed low to the ground, and as you cautiously took steps closer and closer, it was easy to tell that the flames were attached to small white candles.

It wasn’t until you slowly crept forward when you noticed that in between the candles were several hooded figures. You couldn’t make out faces or any distinct details, but you could tell the robes that were a silky red satin, and that all the figures appeared to be holding hands around the odd circular shape with.. something that almost resembled a body in the middle of the circle.

You brushed that thought off about quickly as it had came; there was no way that could be a human body.. right?

You took a silent deep breath before taking more quiet steps toward the mysterious individuals.

You finally stopped venturing forward and settled on leaning on a tall tree that was only a couple feet away from the group; just close enough to see what was happening but - still concealed by the leaves so that they couldn’t see you.. unless you made a sound of course.

You jaw dropped once you realized your suspicion was right, it really was a fucking body that the group seemed to be huddled over. Trying to breathe quietly was now more a struggle and you could feel your body start to shake like a leaf once you started to get a horrible idea of what was happening here.

The genders of the small congregation was mixed but, the leader - the one who previously had sat in the center or tip of the ‘circle’ and had now sat crouched next to the civilians body - was female.

There was no denying how beautiful she was. Her hair fell to about her shoulders in perfect golden ringlets, it was as if she had curled her hair but it seemed to looked natural - like it had just happened to naturally fall down her shoulders in that way. Her eyes were a light crystal blue and were framed with thick black eyelashes which were angled down; staring at the body that lay in front of her. And finally, another unforgettable feature she had were her lips. Her lips were full and you couldn’t stop yourself from daydreaming about how soft and plump they looked until you were brought back into reality - when you saw this woman grab a dagger that was lying next to the random civilian.

This random person; whom you knew was random because unlike the other members of this odd ‘cult’, they wore normal street clothes - like how you did. This made your blood run cold, you could be next. What made you different from this person who - by the looks of it - was about to be killed in cold blood? Absolutely nothing.

You knew it was cowardly to just hide and watch but you felt terrified, and in denial. This person was tied up with their hands and ankles bound with some kind of cloth, along with a cloth gag around their mouth. Although they looked to be unconscious - so maybe the woman was grabbing the dagger to free them? You could only hope.

You couldn’t help but think back to the rumours that always seem to float around this time of year about a local satanic cult, but those were just rumours.. stupid fucking rumours. And you were just paranoid because of the fact that it was literally midnight and you were stranded.

You tried to shake away these irrational thoughts as you remained at the tree; holding your breath as you watched the woman hold up the knife. She let out a slight giggle, and you swore for a second she almost looked childish - the way her eyes lit up and how the corners of her mouth turned in a small closed mouth smile. For a second she looked genuinely happy and excited, and then she did the unthinkable.

All it took was three seconds for her to plunge the knife right into the center of the persons chest cavity, blood instantly spurted out from the mans chest and if he wasn’t dead ealier.. He certainly was now. she ran the knife up a bit in his chest before quickly throwing the knife out of the way, somewhere in the forest. She quickly plunged her hand into the persons chest with no hesitation - it was obvious by the way her armed moved that it was as if she was searching for something or a certain organ?

Your reaction was immeadite, you couldn’t help but to gasp and let go of the tree in shock - shaking harder than ever. But yet; you still stood and watched. Like a idiot. You could slowly feel your body succumb to shock and you knew you only had so much time to move and get the hell out of there before you passed out but you felt frozen in place. You couldn’t bring yourself to move your legs or any other part of you. Maybe it was some kind of fucked up fate or destiny that you were meant to be here and witness this.

You flinched at the awful squishing sounds that omitted from this woman’s victims body, it was clear to you now what she was looking for in the chest.

The heart.

You started to shake with fear as you watched her forcibly rip the heart out of the chest cavity and away from the blood vessels that previously connected it to the body. Blood continued to ooze off of it as she slowly raised it up closer, and closer to her. She wore a sly smirk but her eyes seemed to be turning darker and darker; which made it impossible to read her emotions but for some reason; you felt if you could see her eyes - that they would still hold the same wonder and excitement you saw in them ealier.

That thought made you dizzy.

“Ave satanas”. She spoke.

Her voice was clear and smooth, the murder and this horrific dissection didn’t seem to disturb or affect her in any way, or any of the members that were witnesses.

The rest of the members watched her as diligently as you did, their eyes daring to not leave her body for a second. They also repeated her sick mantra.

She swiftly raised the heart up to her lips and took a bite, blood instantly staining her porcelain skin and cascading down her mouth and neck. Her eyes rolled back into her head - her entire pupil was now pitch black, even the whites of her eyes seemed to turn black as well.

This image was almost seductive to watch. Your not sure if this was your way of discovering you had a blood kink, or if it was the way she bit into the heart.. or maybe it was how content she looked after the bite.

But, you knew that this was fucked up and that if you wanted to make it out alive - you had to leave NOW. It was a human heart, she was a fucking murderer and possibly a cult leader at the very least. It didn’t matter if she looked like Aphrodite - she was a fucking killer and you would be next if you didn’t start to think logically.

You turned to leave; your intention was to walk away as quietly as possible but as soon as you moved your legs - it only took a couple seconds for you to break out into a clumsy sprint. Very clumsy.

It felt as if your heart had temporarily left your chest when you tripped (a stupid tree branch had fallen onto the pathway), and you felt scared out of your mind. Your breathing turned heavy and erratic as you opted to lie on forest floor; too terrified to get up.

You weren’t that far away at all from the tree you were previsoily standing at, you knew there was a good chance they had heard you fall.

You could hear hushed voices.

“Did you hear that”? You heard a male voice ask and immeaditly you heard a quiet chorus of voices that seemed to affirm his suspicion.

You listened as he offered to go look but a female voice spoke up again.. for some reason you felt as if it was the woman you saw ealier and you don’t know if that excited you or scared the shit out of you.

“No.. I’ll go”. She replied.

You heard a subtle rustling of clothes and a distant crunching of leaves as she approached and your heart leapt in your throat. You couldn’t breathe. You screwed your eyes shut; fighting every single instinct you had that was screaming at you to stand up and run for your life. The earth underneath you seemed to grow extensively more uncomfterable, the rocks, mud, dirt and the scratchy grass made your urge to leave even more stronger.

For a second; this state of being uncomfterable made you forget about the predicament you were in and how a literal cult leader was approaching you. It wasn’t until you smelt something new; a slight musky scent with a hint of floral that you knew she was nearby even though you couldn’t hear footsteps anymore.

The sharp, blowing pain you felt on the back of your neck threw you off guard so much that you couldn’t help but let out a soft scream - choking on air, your lungs grasping for more of that sweet delectable oxygen. You thought you were dying at first but you quickly realizing that she was stepping on your neck. You could feel her body weight shift as she crouched down, closer so that she could talk to you.

“Your not a very good actress. I know your not dead; I can hear your heart beat.. pathetic”. The woman above you mused, you could hear it in her voice how she was smiling.

You continued to wheeze for air desperately and you let out a weak, “please”! And miraculously, you felt her shoe slightly let up. Just enough so that you could breath but the agonizing shooting pain still remained.

“Please?! That’s all you have to say for yourself? Use your words. Beg”. Her voice stayed cool and confident as she spoke.

Meanwhile you could feel tears at the edge of your eyes as you gasped at the relief of finally being able to breath properly again. Your voice came out as rough and you stuttered at first as you struggled to find the right words.

“P-please, I just need help. I’m stranded - I only came out here to look for help. I don’t want any trouble”. You said.

You tried to push yourself back up - to see if she would let you atleast sit back up but you felt the pressure remain, even come back a little more forceful than before.

“Why should I let you go? You really think I didn’t notice you the second you started watching? You didn’t just happen to stumble upon us - you watched for a solid fifteen minutes”. Her voice held rage and fire as she started to speak, however by the end of her statement she maintained to retain her cool tone.

However there was a hint of urgency in her voice, as if she knew that her members would be coming back any second to see what was taking their dear beloved leader so long.

This entire time you were looking at her shoes - and the forest floor. You crained your neck in a way that was awkwardly painful just so that you could make eye contact with her before you spoke. Sure enough, it was the same woman who you had watched eat the human heart of the poor civilian ealier. The same.. undeniably gorgeous woman.

Most of her forefront was still stained a messy daunting red, most notably from her lips down to her chest. You also noticed how some of the ends of her hair was also dipped a messy matching red.

“Look - I couldn’t help it. When I saw you, I had to stay”. You replied dumbly as you continued to make eye contact; praying that she would pick up on your cue of what you meant.

You knew how fucking stupid it was to even try to flirt with her when she had the perfect opportunity to kill you. Out of all the stupid stunts you had pulled off in your life this had to be the worst - you didn’t even know if she was gay. Fuck, you didn’t even know her name but to be honest - you didn’t really care. You were simply enchanted and enthralled by her presence alone.

You two continued to make eye contact until you could hear the voices of the congregation start to grow louder and louder.. she didn’t looked exactly panicked by this but she looked bothered and annoyed.

You felt the pain on your neck subside as she retracted back her foot; standing up as she turned around and quickly left. You took that as your cue to get the fuck out of there, and that she wasn’t going to hurt you.

You laid on the forest floor for a couple minutes as you gathered your bearings and mustered up the strength to stand up, and attempt to find a way back home away from this hellish nightmare.

That horrid night of your run in with the satanists not only plagued your dreams to turn into nightmares, but it also become your go to story to tell at parties.

You knew telling ‘rumours’ of a satanic cult (espically around Halloween) was incredibly cheesy and you doubted anyone really believed you, but it always made people laugh and kept them intrigued. Hence why you were at currently at your own party on Halloween night, telling the same story yet again but worded a bit

The party you decided to throw remained somewhere in the middle between a casual friendly house party, and a frat party. This left you (and your friends) with a cup of alcohol in hand, in a somewhat revealing angel costume. You wore a silky white dress along with a cheap pair of angel wings and a halo to go along with it; along with makeup to match. Right now you just happened to be conversing amongst some acquaintances but more and more people seemed to be filing through into the house; people you didn’t know.

You knew you were just borderline tipsy because you couldn’t help but laugh at every line that this person whom you were talking too was saying but they seemed to look amused too.

“No way that happened”! The person you were talked too replied.

“Yes way! Why do you think I’m wearing this scarf? The number she left on my neck wouldn’t exactly go with the rest of my outfit”. You said with a small giggle at the half truth you told.

That definitely wasn’t a lie. When that woman had stepped on your neck she left a trmendous amount of bruising on your neck. Your neck was painted dark blues and purples, the real tone of your skin barely peeking through. Luckily you were able to pin wearing scarves on just the cold weather, and no one really think twice or seemed to question you over it.

You took another sip of the beverage you held, preparing to tell more of your notorious story before you heard the doorbell ring. You excused yourself as you walked through the dense crowd, wondering who the hell it was.

All of your dearest friends and everyone else that was invited was already here.. you could feel fear and anxiety start to nag at you but nevertheless you quickly opened the door without a second thought.

And you were speechless.

It was her. The woman who was the main character of the horror story you were previously telling stood in front of you, and she looked pissed.

You immeaditly felt in shock as you stepped outside with her and shut the door. You would’ve invited her inside but who knows what the hell her intentions were; you knew what she was capable of.

“How did you find me”?! You asked, the words came out as if you were angry but you really weren’t - just in shock and a bit scared.

She looked amused when you said this, like she could almost laugh but she just smirked at you instead.

“You made it too easy. It was common knowledge you were throwing a party this weekend, all I had to tell them that I was some relative of yours and I got your address just like that. Do you like my outfit”? She mused, throwing her hair over her shoulder as she did a quick spin for you.

It was obvious she was attempting to dress as the devil, she wore a headband that had small devil horns on them along with a beautiful red dress that clung tightly to her skin, showing off the best parts of her body. She also wore a black cape on with two metals clasps on either side with a chain connecting them; she looked beautiful. Although this did nothing to the fact of how confused and mildly annoyed you were at her appearance.

“I know your not here for the party. What do you want? If you wanted to just see me, or find another victim - this is not the place or time to do it” You said.

You two stood outside by the front door, the air was just cold enough to make you want to go back inside but not to the point where you were uncomfterable. The sounds of halloween filled your sense, the vague smell of pumpkin and the sound of kids roaming the neighborhood for candy was a comforting distraction. However it wasn’t enough for you to forget about the woman standing in front of you. She lost her smirk and amused look completely before she replied to you.

“Who exactly do you think you are to know what my wants are needs are? And what makes you qualified to fulfill them?” She asked and you stood there.. utterly speechless.

She took a step toward you and looked at you directly in the eyes - clearly not intimidated or scared of you at all. It was almost as if she was teasing you; taunting you.

You felt so fucking stupid, you didn’t have a good answer to her question. In fact you don’t really know why you even asked her that. You took a deep breath and even though she was a mere foot or two away from you; you refused to back up and look as if you were intimidated.

“It’s just, I don’t even know your name. I don’t know the first thing about you or how you even found about this party. I just.. don’t know what your intentions are”. You stated dumbly.

You had no expectations or guess for what she would do next but you felt your soul leave your body for a split second as she advanced toward you even closer - almost like she was going to kiss you only for her to just brush up past you and open your front door. She got so close to you to the point where you felt her soft blonde hair brush up against your face for a moment.

“I can’t talk to you about it out here”. She stated and grabbed your hand, pulling you inside behind her. You held onto her hand as walked you into the house, not even letting you shut the door which stayed open ajar.

You couldn’t help but blush at how soft and smooth her hand felt, yet the feeling also made you shudder since her hand seemed to be ice cold.

You were worried about getting weird looks from people about holding another girls hand but everyone seemed to preoccupied to notice, or merely just didn’t care.

She led you into one of the first rooms that was visible from the front door, clearly not caring whether it was a bedroom, bathroom or some other kind of room. She quickly opened the door and closed it after nearly pushing you in. Almost immeaditly she pulled off her headband and took her heels off, throwing them carelessly in the room as she rolled her eyes.

“I’m so glad I don’t have to wear that shit anymore”. She said with a slight chuckle.

“Why dress up then if you hate it?” You asked, genuinely curious.

“Because I had to look the part in order to come to this party to get to you. Anyone not dressed up on Halloween always looks suspicious, I thought you knew that”. She answered.

You blushed at her first sentence but out of being shy you decided to ignore that part, assuming she was probably referring to something else - there was no way she would’ve came all the way here just for the sake of asking you on a date. The thought was stupid and irrational.

“You could’ve just dressed up in your satanist outfit, you did look beautiful in it”. You said.

As soon as the words came out of your mouth you felt stupid for even admitting that you thought of her as attractive let alone beautiful.

“Beautiful? Even with blood dripping down my neck you think I looked beautiful”. The second part was said as if it were a statement.

She took a couple steps toward you, putting her fingers lightly on your cheek as she gently pushed her thumb under your chin - forcing you to look up at her. It didn’t hurt by any means but it definetly felt uncomfterable. You waited for her to make a move; either to kiss you or say something but she did neither. She merely stared at you. To break the suffocating silence you spoke.

“You know, you never answered my question ealier”. You said as she still held her face gently on your face. She looked at you as if she was studying you, observing - waiting for you to do something.

“The one about why I came here? I already told you - I came for you. I’ve heard all of the crazy bullshit rumours you’ve been telling - and if you were anyone else I would’ve just slit your throat and sacrificed you by now but.. I think I’ve already tainted your beauty enough with those delicious bruises I left on your neck”. She said, she eyes traveling down to the scarf that you wore that covered the bruises.

You felt beyond bewildered and as if the air had been completely knocked out of you once again. The fact that she was trying to gaslight you into thinking that what you saw that night wasn’t even real was the most shocking. The next was how she commented on your beauty, was she returning back your feelings or was she just trying to lead you on before she murdered you? Under your own roof? You wouldn’t put it past her.

“Take it off”. She spoke, her hand that was on your face slowly traveled down to the end of your scarf, giving it a gentle tug.

You gave her a slight smirk, you figured you might as well flirt - who knows how this night was going to end after all.

“Your not even going to buy me dinner first”? You teased.

Your hands gently started to unwind the scarf that you had tightly wrapped around your neck and she watched intensively, almost like she was in a trance.

“Sorry angel but I’m not really the type who likes to go on dates, or let alone has the time or patience for them”. She said, making eye contact with you again.

A darkness gleamed in her eyes but you still tried to stand your ground and not let her intimidate you.

You threw the scarf on the floor. You still were fully clothed but you couldn’t help but feel naked and exposed, your embarrassing bruises on full display. She pushed your chin up and got even closer. Taking a finger and very lightly traced the outline of one of the more prominent bruises. It didn’t hurt but you felt on edge, and scared at the fact that your neck was on full display for basically a cannibal. What was stopping her from pulling out a knife or doing something crazy such as biting into your throat?

The idea of your life ending so suddenly with this woman you didn’t even know the name of made your heart start to beat rapidly, and you felt sick.. anxious.. you needed to get out of this room but you stayed put.

It was almost as if she could sense this and she drew her hand back, as you lowered your head back down in its normal position.

“You look divine, beautiful isn’t even the right adjective to describe your beauty. You would put a real angel to shame with your looks”. She said. For a second, you completely forgot it was Halloween or that you were even in a costume to begin with.

She only strayed a inch again away from your face now. She slowly approached closer and closer, you felt her cold hands gently grab at your waist - and you couldn’t help but jump just slightly at the suddenness of it. You couldn’t help but breathe faster when you felt her nose gently bump against yours - knowing what was about to happen.

“Are you okay”? She asked you, barely whispering.

You swore you could almost taste her breath and feel her lips moving at how close she was. Close but yet not close enough.

You wanted this; you wanted nothing more than to close the gap between you two but you also knew deep down this was wrong. This woman was a murderer, she didn’t deserve love.. right?

Everyone deserves compassion and acceptance - sure. You could offer her that but you knew certainly it wasn’t your place to forgive her for her acts but.. after all that’s not why you were currently in the posistion that you were in. You weren’t about to kiss her because you felt sorry for her, it’s because you felt hopelessly drawn to a woman you barely even met. A woman you didn’t know the name of.

Like a moth drawn to a flame, you knew she was dangerous but yet.. that almost made you want her more.

It felt wrong to speak out loud so you merely nodded your head very slightly, the posistion you were in made it hard to move but you were still able to move your head a little bit. You doubted her eyes were open to see your movement but you were hoping maybe she felt you move instead; and that was when you heard her soft sultry voice ask you,

“Can I kiss you”?

You swiftly wrapped your arms around the back of her neck and you moved in a inch closer, just enough so that the distance between you two was finally closed.

The kiss was wet, and short lived. The taste of her lipstick lingered as you pulled away rather reluctantly. The way how her lips lingered on yours told you that she didn’t want to stop but you knew you should pull away; this chaos had to stop.

This was a dangerous fucking game you were playing, what were you thinking? That you would somehow be different and that she would decide to spare you for some reason? You removed your hands from her shoulders as you awkwardly stumbled back. Your heart started to race and you could feel yourself start to turn backwards, getting ready to open the door and just dip. You could never explain how you feel, how would she understand? More importantly - why would she care?

Just as you felt your feet move to turn your heard her voice, it was soft yet still held onto her confidence that her voice typically held but.. she sounded a bit defeated.

“Your scared”. She stated.

You froze as you took a deep breath, now facing the door with your back facing her.

“Scared of what?” Your words hung in the air for a few dense, quiet moments.

Scared of what she would say, yet scared of the thick silenceness that seemed to be your only other option. You decided to muster up the courage spontaneously to turn around and face her and that’s exactly when she answered your question.

“Of me. Your scared of me. I can hear your heartbeat, I can tell your terrified of me”. She stated.

Her words felt like they cut you as if she had thrown knives at you; you immeaditly felt embarrassed for how you felt, the urge to just leave was stronger than ever but you had a feeling she wouldn’t just let you go so easy.

The mention of her hearing your heartbeat seemed to fly right over your head, you didn’t give it a second thought.

You wanted to move to leave, or to hug her but you did neither. You stood frozen, as you felt tears start to well up in eyes and run hotly down your cheeks.

I’m sorry. I-I don’t want to be scared of you but it’s not fair for you to assume that I can just ignore what I saw”. You answered.

Taking another deep breath you looked up and met her eyes, she looked at you curiously - still as if she was studying you.

She took steps toward you, up until her hand gently rested on your cheek and you couldn’t help but foolishly lean into it ever so slightly.

“Baby, I’m not expecting you to ignore it - all I want is for you to keep quiet about it. I can’t have the entire town thinking I’m a satanist anymore darling”.

You wanted to argue but you merely giggled and smiled.

“That’s understandable. Speaking of.. your hobby.. shouldn’t you be elsewhere on Halloween? Like at some elaborate death ritual or some kind of Halloween ceremony”? You asked.

You felt completely shocked when you felt her hand suddenly pull away and you felt her tongue lick a stripe directly from your chin up to your cheek, licking up your precious tears. She kissed the side of your mouth before pulling away.

“Halloween was never my favorite holiday. My job.. requires a lot out of me. Some of which you’ve seen but celebrating a holiday that practically mocks who I am and makes it into entertainment just isn’t my style”. She explained.

“Then who are you”?

She gave you a smirk, and just as you heard a crack of thunder (or lighting, it was impossible to tell) you swore you saw her crystal blue eyes turn a jet black, before returning to their typical appearance. You swore maybe it was just your mind playing tricks on you or maybe a trick of the light.. you supposed you would never know.

She wore a shit eating grin as if she wanted to say ‘if only you knew’. She swiftly walked past you once again and opened to the door to let herself out;

“Call me Mikey”.

The door slammed shut and there you stood, feeling defeated, hopeless but determined. Determined to find her again, even if all you had to go off was a appearance and a nickname.

You were going to be this woman’s girlfriend whether or not it killed you.

#my fic #my works #Michael x reader #Michael Langdon x reader #fem! Michael #fem! Michael x reader #fem! Michael Langdon x reader #I also posted this on AO3 #AHS #AHS apocalypse #AHS fics

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lemonpeter · 3 years

Text

STARKER, by Peter B. Parker

Chapter 5: Wedding

A/N: because it comes up in this chapter: we took the artistic liberty of changing canon, so our May was not blipped.

and the big day is finally here!! our babies are getting MARRIED!! enjoy all the sap! <3 -bloo and bri 💕

Warnings: marriage, reference to canonical character death

Masterlist ao3

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"So, Tony," Mary started, leaning against her husband on the couch, glass of wine in hand. "How long have you and Peter known each other?"

Everyone was gathered in the sitting area, having just finished a wonderful home cooked meal of pot roast, potatoes, and roasted veggies, prepared by Mary, May, and Peter. But most of the work had been done by the latter.

Tony smiled softly at the question, casting a glance at Peter, who was tucked into his own side. He took a small sip from his glass before speaking. "A few years. We met through my job, actually. I was in a bit of a tricky situation, and in my search for possible- solutions, I stumbled across some of Peter's work. And I was absolutely blown away."

The statement elicited a hum of pride from Ben as he raised his beer in the air. “That’s our Pete, ever the genius. He gets it from his uncle.” The grin on his face was easy and relaxed as he nudged his knee against May’s.

Peter snorted out a quiet laugh, gazing at his uncle and then landing his eyes on Tony. “I was just happy to help,” he said sweetly. And it wasn’t untrue. He had been beyond thrilled to go to Berlin with Tony. He’d been idolizing the man nearly a decade at that point.

How had that been less than three years ago? It felt like a lifetime had passed since the day they first met, when he walked into their tiny apartment to find Tony Stark sitting on his couch, winking at him.

Mary nodded, an easy smile on her lips. “That’s perfect.” She looked at Richard, holding onto his hand. The diamond on her wedding ring glinted in the light. “Sounds a bit like us, doesn’t it?”

Her husband laughed, pressing a kiss to her forehead, his gaze fond. “It does, doesn’t it? But like father, like son, I guess.” He grinned at Peter.

The young man laughed, smiling sheepishly. He knew it was different, completely so, but he made no effort to correct the statement. He liked the idea that he and Tony were like his parents. That they were just another normal couple, living a normal life. One without extraordinary responsibility, risk, pain, and loss.

The life that they were meant to live, together.

Tony chuckled, hugging Peter closer to his body. He kissed the top of his fiancé’s head, nearly a mirrored action of how the younger man’s parents had acted. And- wasn’t that something? “Well, I’m just glad I found him when I did. He changed me, and my life, for the better and I couldn’t imagine living without him at this point.”

May snorted, covering it with a cough. It wouldn’t have fit the scene for her to laugh at something that was seemingly so random. Especially since she was the only person in the room other than Peter that knew that this Tony definitely wouldn’t be able to imagine life without Peter. Not without direction from her nephew’s fantasy, that is.

Hopefully Peter wouldn’t catch her slip up.

He didn’t seem to, just glancing over to her for a second before looking at his mom as she spoke again.

“Now, what’s the plan for the wedding? When is it going to be? Oh, a late-summer wedding would be so lovely. What are you thinking?” Mary asked, rambling excitedly, eyes wide as she looked over at Tony and Peter. “I can’t believe our boy is finally getting married!”

May wished that she could ignore the way her heart clenched at the words. There was no ‘finally’. Peter shouldn’t have been getting married. He was far too young. She hated the way that no one else there could understand how wrong it all was. She had to keep reminding herself that it wasn’t real.

“Oh, well,” Peter paused and looked at Tony, both apprehension and joy visible in his eyes. He flipped his hand over on his thigh, opening and closing his fist until his partner got the hint and clasped their hands together. “We want to do something soon since everyone is here. Maybe that’s a bit unorthodox but-“

“But so are we,” Tony joked lightly, nodding encouragingly at the younger man.

Peter’s cheeks flushed a soft pink as he laughed. “Well, there’s no denying that.” And it was okay to joke about it. Because none of his family would think there was anything out of the ordinary. They couldn’t. All they’d see and react to was their love. As they should. “But yeah, something...within a few days?” Maybe even less than that.

He wanted to have his dream wedding as soon as he finished what little planning was left.

And with his family surrounding him, everything was almost complete.

It was going to be perfect.

***

With his guest list prepared and everyone nearby, the ideal venue nailed down, and the other details listed out in his notebook, Peter could only think of one last thing that needed to be taken care of.

His vows.

Sure, it wasn’t mandatory for him to write his own. But he needed Tony to know just how strong his love was, and he wanted his words to be something personal rather than the generic cookie-cutter vows. He couldn’t let such a meaningful event go by without taking the opportunity to convey how much he truly loved the older man.

So Peter started on that last step, the words pouring out of him as he wrote them down. It felt as if he was putting his whole heart onto the paper, bearing it for all to see. Luckily, none of the people who would witness the fruits of his efforts would be judging him in any way.

No one other than himself, that was.

***

The night before the wedding found Peter puttering around the bedroom in one of Tony’s band t-shirts and a pair of pajama pants. He ran his hands through his already unruly hair, going down his mental checklist, when the older man walked in. “Hey T,” he sighed, smiling softly in his direction.

“You’re sure I can’t sleep in here tonight?” Tony pouted, sitting down on the edge of the bed. His overnight bag was on the floor by his feet, the garment bag containing his suit already out in the living room for him to grab on his way to one of the guest rooms. Where his soon-to-be husband was insisting he spend the night.

Peter chuckled under his breath and took a few steps so that he was standing in front of the other man. He draped his arms around Tony’s neck, looking down into his eyes. “I’m positive.” When the pout only deepened at his words, he rolled his eyes playfully. “It’s bad luck for you to see me before tomorrow, Tony! I’m serious- You are not to lay eyes on me until I’m making my way to the altar!”

“I don’t think that superstition counts if you’re not wearing a dress,” the sulky man pointed out, grumbling under his breath. He paused, frowning at Peter once more for good measure. “But fine,” he muttered after a moment, having accepted his fate when Peter’s expression didn’t change. “At least give me a kiss to hold me over, then?”

And who was Peter to say no to that?

He leaned down a little, closing the short distance between them as he pressed his lips to Tony’s quickly. Just a peck.

Of course, it couldn’t just stay a soft kiss with Tony. He was immediately trying to turn it into more, pulling Peter closer and nipping at his bottom lip enticingly.

Despite the way his stomach swooped at the sensation, the younger man pulled away, laughing softly. “No, no. That’s not going to work. Don’t even try that.”

Tony hummed, a slightly smug look on his face. He seemed to know just what kind of reaction he’d elicited. “Don’t try what? I can’t say I know what you mean, Pete...”

Peter laughed again, shaking his head. “You’re impossible. You know that?” He kissed the older man gently one more time before sitting down on the bed beside him. Letting his head lean to the side to rest his temple on Tony’s shoulder, he let out a deep breath, just enjoying the warmth of the innocent contact.

“It’s one of my best qualities,” Tony shot back playfully, his own head tilting to lean on the top of Peter’s. He slowly stood up after a moment, stretching his back and rotating his torso a few times. He cast a look in the teen’s direction. “But fine, I’m going now. To that cold, empty guest room. Where I’ll sleep all alone,” he said dramatically, throwing his head back slightly with a flourish. He bent over to scoop his bag up from the ground and took a step away from the bed.

Despite knowing that his partner was joking, Peter couldn’t help the way his chest grew tight. He didn’t want to actually go to sleep without Tony. Just the thought caused his heart to lurch with panic and made him want to cry. He didn’t want to be away from him at all, not even in their current situation. Traditions be damned. “Tony...”

Turning around, the taller man raised an eyebrow. “Yeah?” He caught the look in the other’s eyes and immediately turned around to face him, taking a small step closer. “Peter? What is it, what’s wrong, baby? Is it what I said? I’m just joking, Pete, it’s okay. I’m sor-”

Peter shook his head rapidly. He sniffed softly to try and lessen the stinging sensation in the back of his nose. “No, no don’t be sorry Tony, I know you’re kidding. But- Can you maybe…,” he trailed off, blinking a few times against the moisture that was building up. His eyes locked on Tony’s before darting away.

God, why was he so anxious and upset? Literally all he needed to do was tell Tony that he’d changed his mind.

“I just- Can you stay, maybe?” He chanced a look back at Tony, who was nodding with the expression of someone who had just been asked what they thought was a ridiculously easy question.

“Of course, babydoll,” Tony said, dropping the small duffel to the floor and pulling the young man into his arms. He pressed a kiss to the side of his head and squeezed him tight for a moment. “C’mon, let’s go to bed, we can cuddle for a while.” He smiled softly as they pulled away from each other, ducking down quickly to touch his lips to Peter’s. “We’ve got a big day tomorrow.”

***

Everything went smoothly after that. The couple slept soundly, snuggled together all night long with Peter’s head pressed up against Tony’s chest.

And they stayed that way for a while after waking, whispering to each other in the morning light. The two didn’t separate until it was absolutely necessary and they needed to get ready, lest they be late to their own wedding.

Everyone made their way to the venue (although the rest of them would have believed they traveled by car, Peter knew that all he’d done was shift the scene) and settled in their appropriate areas to get ready.

It was getting close to starting time and no one had seen Peter yet. So May decided that it could be a good time for her to fully immerse herself in the illusion once again.

“Not getting cold feet, are you?” She asked gently as she stepped into the room that was serving as the 'bridal' suite. Her breath caught in her throat at the sight that greeted her.

Peter was standing in front of the full-length mirror, his back to the door. His hair was curled haphazardly on top of his head, effortlessly beautiful, a few pieces falling down into his face as he fussed with the white button-up and black vest he was putting on to go with his dark tailored trousers

She was suddenly struck with the memory of watching a much smaller boy get himself ready for a funeral, staring at himself in the too-large suit jacket that had been her husband’s just a few days prior.

Just a little boy playing dress up, trying to be a man.

Peter’s head jerked up at the sound of her voice, and she realized that her sudden appearance must not have fit exactly with his script for this scene.

He made eye contact with her in the mirror, finishing up the last button on his shirt. An excited yet nervous smile tugged at his lips. “What? Of course not.” The tone of his voice suggested that he thought it silly, the notion that he’d ever second guess marrying Tony. That it was a decision he would happily make without thinking at all.

And in her opinion, he kind of was.

The woman held back her reservations and gave him a gentle smile, coming to help with the tie that was hanging undone around his neck. “I’m glad to hear that, bubby.” At least, that’s what she was going to lead Peter to believe. She still didn’t approve, illusion or not.

It was only partially due to the fact that the other party involved was Tony Stark. Her dislike, bordering on apathy, for the man was no secret. He’d gotten her nephew, her baby, killed further away from home than she’d ever even imagined possible. But not before whisking him away on a covert mission to Germany, then abandoning him after burdening him with what was an absurd amount of responsibility for even a grown man. Peter had come clean about everything after he returned from the Blip.

She never forgot the way she felt when she saw the video of Peter being dragged into space by that creature, the panic of not being able to get in touch with him.

Nor the way Tony Stark had shown up on her doorstep, haggard and unkempt, after dodging her calls for weeks. How he wasn’t able to even look her in the eye as he confirmed what she already knew- That her baby wasn’t coming home, that he’d been taken away from her without the chance to say goodbye. The chance to tell him that he was enough, that he didn’t need to save the world to be worthy. That he was her world.

She’d come to a sort of peace about it all after the Blip was reversed. She never absolved Stark of the role he played in Peter’s death, but she was able to reconcile it with the fact that he sacrificed his own life to restore those of half of the world’s population.

With that, she believed that she’d never have to see him again. He was gone. And that was just fine with her.

Yet he was still haunting her. The very man who she felt was at fault for robbing her of five years with Peter was causing her nephew to break, to get lost in his own mind. The ass was dead, but he was still managing to screw things up.

Because even the near-peace she felt she had reached towards the man didn't mean she was okay him marrying, or even dating, her underage nephew. Sure, Peter was the age of consent in New York, but that was just a technicality. She kept having to remind herself that none of it was real, but rather an extremely detailed fantasy that she was experiencing secondhand.

She was definitely going to talk to Peter about the relationship once the whole thing was over. He had to know that none of it was possible in the real world.

Peter couldn’t let go. He’d already lost so much, she could see that he couldn’t bear to lose this too. Not at the moment. It was the one place he felt safe and happy, after not feeling either of those things for who knew how long.

And May was forced to watch helplessly from the side.

She could see that he was different. Even if what she saw wasn’t his physical body, there was a look in his eyes that broke her heart. It was almost wild as he frantically grasped at pieces of his reality, unhinged. But his eyes also held a dullness that she hadn’t seen in a long time. One she’d hoped to never see again.

The same look she’d seen on that newly orphaned little boy’s face on the way home from the service, in the faraway expression on the lanky teen that had lost yet another person he loved.

She had to keep reminding herself of the plan. She had to play along to the best of her abilities and keep Peter happy until she could convince him to shut the illusion down and come home.

Everything in her wanted to beg him to just give up this mess and come home to her already. She’d barely had him back before he was gone again, this time of his own accord. But she knew that she couldn’t. Not yet. She just had to play along.

Hopefully not for much longer.

The woman directed her attention back to Peter after pushing the thoughts away. “It’s about time to get this show on the road, isn’t it?” She didn’t want to give him away. Even if it was just for this fantasy of his. It felt like she was losing him entirely to the world he’d created in his mind.

Peter nodded slowly, hands fidgeting nervously with his clothes. “Yeah, almost. I should probably start...heading out there, huh? Although it’s not like things can start without me,” he joked softly.

May figured that much was definitely true. “Yeah, I guess you should. And I should too. I’ll be right there, bubby. Right next to Ben and your parents.” The words felt wrong to say. No matter how badly either of them wanted it, Mary and Richard were never going to be there to see him get married. Neither was her Ben.

But there they were anyways. Saving a seat for her.

She wasn’t sure if it was any better than sitting beside three empty seats, reserved for people incapable of occupying them.

***

There was an easy smile on Peter's face as he looked around, heart pounding. It was nearly time for it to really begin. Almost time to finally make his way down the aisle.

He was really going to marry the man of his dreams. He was gonna marry Tony Stark.

Then the scene began shifting, the walls slowly disappearing from around him.

His heart nearly stopped. He was worried that the whole thing was all falling apart, melting away right before his eyes. Panic bloomed in his chest. But he was still in control, evidenced by the small bouquet of flowers he thought into existence on a whim, so he didn’t understand what could possibly have been happening.

When the smoke (or pixels, technically) cleared and he could finally work out his surroundings again, he felt tears stinging his eyes as his breath caught in his throat.

It wasn’t the huge, extravagant venue from before. Not even close. Gone was the large ballroom, striking in its opulence. There was nothing grand or luxurious about what he saw now but it felt so much more like them. It was perfect.

All around Peter was a bright, plush green meadow dotted with pastel-colored wildflowers. Tall trees surrounded the perimeter of the clearing, separating them from the rest of the world. Sunlight shone through the foliage in scattered beams, casting everything in an ethereal glow. The air was sweet and calm, instantly calming his nerves.

Turning his head, he saw that he was standing on the porch of a small log cabin. May was standing in the entryway, watching him with wide eyes. It warmed his heart to see how emotional she was, how much she cared about him and his happiness.

And just a few yards away was the ceremony. Tony was already standing in front of the makeshift altar with Uncle Ben, eyes shining as he watched Peter. He smiled softly before biting his lip and winking, the actions at odds with the way he brought a hand up in a slight wave before clasping them both in front of him. His thumbs wrestled with each other, twiddling back and forth.

Peter recognized the gesture as something his lover did when he was feeling nervous about something and trying to hide it.

Too bad Peter knew most of his tells.

The young man smiled from the steps as he began descending them, stepping down into the lush grass in a few strides.

He caught movement out the corner of his eye and he watched as a small pastel yellow butterfly landed on the wildflower bouquet clutched in his left hand.

A soft laugh bubbled up from Peter’s chest. He just couldn’t help himself. He thought he’d had what he wanted, but what he ended up with was so much better than he could have imagined. It was absolutely magical.

He turned around slightly when he heard May come to stand beside him.

“You ready, baby?” Her eyes were shining wetly behind her glasses, the wind gently blowing the skirt of her lilac colored dress.

Nodding, Peter took a deep breath and clutched at his aunt’s hand. “I’m getting married, May,” he said quietly, awestruck and wide eyed as they started making their way to the altar, unable to help the teary smile on his face.

May sniffled and squeezed his hand. “Yeah, you are, bubby.” Her voice was soft, but he could hear the slight wobble she was trying to hide. “You make sure he treats you right, okay?”

“I know he will,” Peter assured her, turning to look at the older man as they walked, the song of the birds in the trees serving as the wedding march. “Tony would never do anything to hurt me.”

May just hummed softly in response, locking eyes with Ben as they reached the beginning of the trail of brightly colored petals leading up to the altar, which had the same blooms intertwined with the lattice of the thin sticks it was composed of. She choked out a wet laugh when the man just grinned and winked at her.

Peter felt something give in his chest at the interaction, struck by the familiarity, and he clutched the bouquet tighter in his hand when Tony’s eyes met his.

The teen didn’t look away once until he and May came to a stop in front of the two men.

His aunt pressed her lips to his cheek in a kiss, squeezing his hand one last time and taking the bouquet from him before going to sit down beside his parents, who were seated on a wooden bench a few feet away from them.

Ben took a small step forward to knock his elbow against Peter’s. “You ready, champ?” His eyes searched the boy’s as the younger nodded. “Great,” he said softly, grinning as he moved back to his spot, glancing at Tony before turning to his family.

“We’re gathered here today to celebrate the marriage of the two men standing in front of me, Peter and Tony. To celebrate their love. Which is something I’m fortunate enough to know a thing or two about, myself. My May, our love and the wonderful life I’ve been able to share with her, that’s the most special thing I’ve ever experienced, and I’m overjoyed that Peter has found his own soulmate.”

Peter sniffled, tears already stinging in his eyes, despite the fact that they’d just gotten started. His hands were clenched into fists at his sides, fingers twitching restlessly.

“I’ll be reading some traditional vows, but first, Tony and Peter have some words they’d like to share with each other. You're up first, right Pete?” Ben turned his head toward the younger man.

The teen nodded at his uncle and looked down at his feet, taking a deep breath before lifting his head up and gazing deeply into the eyes of the man he was about to marry.

"Tony," he said, voice cracking. "I've spent hours trying to figure out what I wanted to say to you, but nothing I came up with seemed good enough. And I realized that nothing ever would be, and that all I could do was try my best to show you how much I love you. And that's just it, that's exactly what I'm going to spend the rest of our life doing. So I- Tony, I promise to always do my best, to be the best man that I can. Because you and your love are the best thing that will ever happen to me." He took a shaky breath, steeling himself for his next words. “And I know that nothing is stronger than our love for each other.”

The older man gazed at him, eyes alight with adoration. “I’ll be the first to admit that I never really believed in true love. Had I felt love, even been in love before? Yeah, of course. But none of that ever felt predestined, none of it felt like fate. None of that was inevitable.” He paused, swallowing thickly. “But then I met you, Pete. And you completely turned my world upside down. You changed everything.”

A soft sound slipped from Peter’s lips, and he slapped a hand over his mouth to prevent it from happening again. “Tony,” he said tearfully, the sound muffled by his palm.

His love just shook his head and shot him a wobbly smile. “It’s true, baby. You are what was always missing, that thing that I never knew I needed, but now know I cannot live without. And I’ll continue to do whatever is necessary to ensure that I never have to. You’ll never want for anything, physically or emotionally. I vow to give you all of me, everything that I am. Because you’re it for me, Peter.” The tears escaping his eyes did nothing to take away from the lopsided grin that overtook his face. “This right here...this is my endgame.”

Peter’s mouth was open before he could stop it. “I love you,” he blurted as he reached out to grab the older man’s hand, biting back a sob. “Tony I love you so much-,” he rushed out.

Tony chuckled, the hand Peter wasn’t holding moving up to cup his cheek and swipe away the tear that was rolling down his skin. “I love you too, baby.”

It was quiet, everyone touched as the love between the two of them was put on display.

“And I guess it’s my turn now.” Ben cleared his throat after a moment in an attempt to get rid of the lump that had formed there. “If you’ll take out the rings, please.” He waited as the men each pulled a thin gold band from their pockets. "Do you, Peter Benjamin Parker, take this man, Anthony Edward Stark, to be your lawfully wedded husband-"

"I do, you know I do," Peter choked out through his tears, unable to keep himself from interrupting yet again. He reached out for Tony’s hand and clumsily slid the metal onto his ring ringer. The chuckles that followed caused a red flush to take over his face, but he held fast to his statement. Of course he did, Tony was the most important person in his life. Getting to marry him and spend the rest of their days together was a dream come true. He wasn’t sorry about it at all.

His uncle just shook his head, smiling fondly at his excitement. "Alright, hold your horses, Pete- And do you, Anthony Edward Stark, take this man, Peter Benjamin Parker, to be your lawfully wedded husband?" He paused there, eyes shining as he playfully glanced at Tony as if he were going to interrupt as well.

Tony just bit back a smirk, eyes moving from Ben back to Peter. His hands squeezed at the younger man’s, and his eyes twinkled in the afternoon light that came through the trees.

Ben continued once it was clear that the man was going to keep quiet until it was his turn to speak. "To have and to hold from this day forward? To love and to cherish for better or worse, for richer or poorer, through sickness and in health, til death do you part?"

“I do,” Tony answered, not breaking his gaze at Peter as he spoke. Then he did look away, taking both of Peter’s hands in his to place the ring on his finger, running his thumb over it once it was in place.

“Then by the power vested in me, I now pronounce you Mr. and Mr. Stark. You may now kiss your husband.”

Their lips met before the sentence was even finished.

***

Peter laughed as he was lifted into the air, not fighting it as Tony grabbed him bridal-style and carried him into the cabin he had exited earlier. “What are you doing?” His giddiness was apparent in his voice.

“What? I’m carrying you over the threshold,” Tony told him with a grin. “It’s traditional. I was under the impression that you were all for traditions.” He carried his husband through the doorway, leaning down to kiss him gently.

They were officially husbands.

As their lips met, the scene began shifting again.

The soft, homey feel of the cabin slowly melted away, a more sophisticated room developing around them. It was almost like watching instant film develop, though much faster. The sounds of family and nature slowly ceased. All that mattered was Tony and their kiss. The way Tony’s slightly chapped lips were moving against his.

When they finally parted again and opened their eyes the setting was completely changed.

Tony didn’t seem to notice, carrying Peter over to the plush white bed and setting him down. His eyes drank in the way the teen looked in the evening light, bathed in the pinks and purples of the sunset outside. “I think this will be a wonder to sleep on tonight. As well as...other things,” he said suggestively.

Peter laughed, shaking his head as he glanced around the room. The bed was huge, a california king like the one in the penthouse, with crisp sheets and topped with a down comforter that swallowed him up like a cloud as he lay on top of it. Two of the walls were almost completely glass, reminding him of their bedroom and making him feel at home in the luxurious setting.

It was way nicer than anything he’d ever actually been in, except maybe for the hotel they’d stayed in on their ‘retreat’ to Berlin. But this time he wasn’t down the hall from Tony, they were sharing a room. Sharing a bed. And it was perfect. His blood thrummed in his veins. “Oh yeah? That’s some pretty big talk. You sound like you have plans.”

The older man hummed, crawling onto the bed with his husband after kicking his shoes off and leaving them to land on the plush dark gray carpet. “I just might. Would you be interested in hearing them?”

“Hmm. Perhaps I could be persuaded.” Peter stretched out on the bed, stroking one hand through Tony’s hair as the man leaned his forehead against his chest, pressing a kiss over his heart. “Of course I wanna know, I’m just teasing.” One of his hands came up to grab at Tony’s hair.

Tony nodded, a soft hum escaping his lips as he moved up closer in order to kiss Peter again. He shifted and nudged a knee between the young man’s thighs to support himself as he hovered over his body. The kiss deepened, mouths moving together sensually before they pulled apart to breathe, only to reconnect seconds later, neither of them wanting to part any time soon.

They could leave the talking and just do. Following the way they felt, using their bodies to communicate with each other, was so much better than talking it out, anyways. There was no second-guessing, no pausing to try and get the words right.

Their bodies stayed intertwined the rest of the night, the newlywed husbands hardly parting from each other once.

And nothing was going to break them apart.

Til death do us part, their vows claimed.

But not even death was strong enough to do such a thing.

#starker #peter parker #tony stark #tony x peter #tony stark x peter parker #Peter’s EDITH!verse #SbPBP #B&B write #May Parker #Mary and Richard Parker #tw marriage #starker fluff #for now anyways #family fluff

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fanficparker · 4 years

Text

You are Everything! | H.O.

Friends!Harrison Osterfield x Fem!Reader

Word count: 1.8k words

A/N: @lost-aesthetic-of-past and I wrote it together during a reblog chain (haha)

Warnings: Angst but it’s cute. Swearing.

Summary: Harrison decided to cut you off from his life after you had friend-zoned him. But did you actually? Or was there something else?

[ MASTERLIST ]

"Green is not really a good colour on you, ya' know?" Greg said quietly, standing beside Harrison at the pub, looking at the scene unfolding in front of them.

"I'm not jealous," Harrison scowled, turning to look at anything but what was in front of him.

It was basically nothing. Just the girl he has been in love with for years being flirted by another guy. The guy was nice, one of his own acquaintances. But at the moment, he had started to hate him.

"Mate come' on, let's get going." Greg tried to pull Harrison away, possibly because he could sense the blonde nearing his explosion point.

"Yes, give me a second before that!" He finished his drink and walked straight towards you and the guy who was shamelessly flirting with you.

"...And I said, sorry, but I can't talk right now because I'm queening," Kevin said with a laugh, making you laugh in response. You had just met the guy but he was funny, and kind of cute. You were very much looking forward to getting his number and getting to know him more, but just then, Harrison approached you two.

"Hey, Harrison, whats'up?" Kevin greets. You had no idea that Kevin and Harrison knew each other. Harrison however, all but ignores Kevin and turns to you.

"We need to talk." He said before walking out expecting you to follow him.

What did he want to talk about?

You passed Kevin an apologetic smile and rushed after Harrison. He was waiting for you outside the pub.

"Why did you call me out so abruptly?" You questioned, standing in front of him.

"Do you have any idea how Kevin was relentlessly flirting with you?!" Harrison whisper-yelled, motioning with his hands while looking sideways, afraid if Kevin could hear him. You squeezed your eyes at his words.

"I... ah... Know already?" You replied, quirking an eyebrow. Harrison's loose posture instantly jerks into a stiff one as he took a step back.

"You know?" The surprise in his voice was evident.

"Yup. I mean that's exactly... That was exactly the purpose." You admitted, biting at your lower lip.

"What... You..." He sucked in a breath, not believing your words. His stomach was dropping, his heart was shattering.

"Yeah. I-I mean he seems like a good guy. Also, I don't wanna remain single forever," You tuck a loose strand of hair behind your ear while Harrison clenched his fist, trying his best to not look hurt.

And he thought, he had a chance with you.

"I need to go Haz. He must be waiting, see you in a few minutes," You said and then leaned in, pecked his cheek and walked inside.

He knew what the kiss meant.

It was the friend-zone kiss. You knew about Harrison's feelings and you had just smoothly rejected him.

He was so screwed.

***

"Haz it's been 3 days just, pick up the damn phone! I'm worried!" It was probably the seventh call this morning and he was still not picking up his phone.

That night and that interaction with Harrison outside the pub left you perplexed. He didn't come back inside after the conversation. He simply left, without even informing you. You literally spent a good twenty minutes trying to find him in the crowd when Greg called him over the phone and informed you that he was home already.

And since then, you tried to call him, but he wouldn't pick up. You even tried to call Greg, but he said that you needed to fix this up with Harrison yourself.

What does that even mean?

How were you going to fix this up if you didn't know what you did wrong?

For years you have pined for that guy but kept your feelings at bay because of your damn insecurities. And now that you were ready to date another guy, someone who was within 'your League', Harrison had started acting weird. Absolutely absurd.

Was it because he liked you? Before you could even begin to explore this impossible avenue, the phone rang again.

You rushed to pick it up, thinking it was him, only to find out that it was Tom.

"Hey!" You couldn't help your voice from shaking a little, "Have you heard from Haz?"

"Yeah... I talked to him." The calmness in Tom's voice sounded unnatural, it had a cold undertone to it. "He asked me to tell you to not call him anymore."

"What?!" You were barely keeping yourself from crying at this point, "J-just, tell me what I did? Please."

Tom sighed on the other side, "Okay... Meet me at the usual coffee shop, in thirty-minutes." And with that, he hung up.

You couldn't even begin to imagine what heinous crimes you committed against Harrison that he had to cut you out of his life in the blue? But if he was going to do it, you hoped he did it face to face, and not through your mutual friends. This was worse.

***

"Did you go out with Kevin yet?" Tom asked sitting across from you.

"That's not what I came here to discuss." You told him. You were tapping your foot restlessly. You were here to know about Harrison, not talk about Kevin.

"I am just asking." He rolled his eyes and you scoffed at his reaction.

"Fine. I didn't. He was bothering me with talking about his..." You made a face, "savage moments all the time!"

"So, it didn't work out?"

"That's what I said. Now can we please talk about Harrison?"

"Yeah right. So... Harrison... is kinda mad at you."

"I figured that out myself," You rolled your eyes this time, "Tell me something new."

"Y/n come' on you friend-zoned him and now he can't even be mad?"

"Friend-zoned him? We are already friends!" You panicked through your words.

"Oh my god! Why are girls so dumb!"

"That's sexist..." You scrunched up your face in disgust.

There was no way Harrison could have fallen for you.

He sighed, "That guy is head over heels for you and you don't even notice."

"What no–"

"That's the truth." He interrupted your sentence, shrugging his shoulders.

"No... It can't be..."

"It is Y/n. Why are you denying it so much? He told this to me himself."

"I... I... "

Tom stopped your stuttering by keeping his hand over yours.

"If there's something, you can tell me." He smiled at you in a reassuring manner.

"No Tom... No. You can't understand." You stood up jerking away his hand.

"If you won't tell then how would I?"

"I can't..." You tried to hold back the tears forming in your eyes, "It's... it's embarrassing."

He didn't force you after that (seeing it was the best thing to do) and you left.

How can he understand?

How can people like him and Harrison ever understand?

Harrison is surrounded by models all day. He must be getting laid all the time. Girls throw themselves at him. And you... You were just a plain girl. He can easily trade you with them. They were so much better.

And now you had lost him as a friend too...

***

"Hey, Haz..." This was probably the last time you were going to call him anyway, so, you decided to make it worthwhile.

"You are probably not going to listen to this message. And I don't blame you. But the truth is.. I don't have anyone else to talk about this," You tried to keep your voice even, "And I swear after this if you don't want to stay in touch, I promise I won't bother you."

It had been a few hours until your meeting with Tom. All these hours you were going crazy.

How were you going to tell Harrison that it's because of your crippling insecurity you kept your feelings hidden?

How were you going to do that without him looking at you like you are a fool?

"You know I'm not the most secure person in the world," You laugh through your nerves, "And definitely not the most confident one. And that's why when I realised I liked you... more than friends... I got scared. Because you are you, and you look amazing and are so funny and talented and... I am just... me," You shrugged your shoulders even though you knew he won't be able to see you.

"And that's why I kept it all locked. Because I didn't want to feel rejected when I find out you don't like me like that." You sucked in a deep breath, "So now I've gone on and ruined everything, and I'm sorry if I hurt you..." You voice cracked as all those pent up tears rolled down your cheeks.

"I didn't mean to. I'm sorry!" And with that you hung up, not knowing that he will listen to your message, and only a few hours later going to turn up at your door.

If it was simply a knock at your door, you wouldn't be opening it. But the knock was accompanied with his voice. How could you not open?

Looking at you for the first time in three days made Harrison feel like he finally found something very dear to him he had lost. Sure you were in your pyjamas and your hair resembled a bird's nest, but it was you.

And you were...

"You are an absolute dumbass! No, you are actually the biggest dumbass on this entire planet!" There was a fit of slight anger behind his voice, but it was kind of hard to focus on the tone when you were finally hearing from him (and were even seeing him) after three entire days. "How dare you think that you are not good enough when really you are the only one?!" He thumbed his foot on the floor.

"What?" Now you spoke, not realising you had spaced out.

And you were...

He rubbed his face with both hands, "You are everything!" He walked forward, cradling your face gently in his hands.

And you were...

"An idiot..." He breathed out, "But still everything... How could you possibly think you were not enough?"

"You know me... I-I can't help it!" And the waterworks started again.

He leaned forward to rest his forehead against yours, looking into your glossy e/c eyes.

"Can I kiss you?" He voice was merely a whisper as his eyes flickered down to your lips.

You nodded your head, unable to form words and he pressed his lips again yours, pulling you closer to him.

"Just... next time... talk to me. Don't shut me out, okay?"

"Okay." You nodded again, resting your head against his chest.

What would happen if you actually screwed it all up?

_______________________

(FEEDBACK IS APPRECIATED) / TELL ME IF YOU WANT TO GET ADDED TO THE TAGLIST!

ALSO, DON’T FORGET TO CHECK OUT @lost-aesthetic-of-past ‘s INCREDIBLE PAGE! THERE ARE SO MANY BREATH-TAKING FICS THERE. YOU SERIOUSLY CAN’T RISK MISSING ANY OF THOSE.

TAGLIST: @asmilinghopefullromantic // @just-a-littlebit-of-everything // @xximaweirdoxx // @jjasalem // @spidergirl007 // @wizliar // @justasmisunderstoodasloki // @veronicas-littleworld // @acceptance07 // @ghostspf // @screeching-student-unknown // @fanficscuziranout // @miraclesoflove // @trustfundparker // @tikapollak // @yourmum792 // @skymoonandstardust // @nxdxh // @httplayer // @peterparkerbabyyy // @starlight-starks // @silverwolf-sama // @riz-holland-osterfield // @multifandomdoodles121 // @serendipitous-amor // @viagracex // @lizzyosterfield // @tomhaz

#harrison osterfield #harrison osterfield imagine #harrison osterfield fanfic #harrison osterfield fanfiction #harrison osterfield fic #haz osterfield #haz osterfield fanfiction #haz osterfield fanfic #haz osterfield imagine #harrison osterfield x reader #harrison osterfield x you #harrison osterfield x y/n #haz osterfield x y/n #haz osterfield x reader #haz osterfield x you #Anya ❤️

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beastars-takes · 4 years

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Zootopia Takes: Darker’s Not Better

The Shock Collar Draft

So, it sounds like people are largely positive on me doing some Zootopia posts on this blog, and I wanted to talk about this tweet I saw the other day:

I’ll punt on explaining why Beastars isn’t “Dark Zootopia”--that’s a great topic for another post. But I would like to talk about why this popular yet stridently uninformed tweet is so, so wrong. Why the shock collar draft was not better, actually.

And obviously, I’m not writing several pages in reply to a single tweet--this is a take that’s been around since the movie came out, that the “original version was better.” It’s been wrong the whole time.

Let’s talk about why!

Part 1: “Because Disney”

Let’s start with this--the assumption that the film’s creators wanted to make this shock collar story and “Disney” told them to change it.

That’s not how it works.

I try to keep stuff about me out of these posts as much as possible, but just for a bit of background, I’ve worked in the animation industry for about half a decade. I know people at Disney. I have a reasonable idea of how things are there.

There is this misconception about creative industries that they’re constantly this pitched battle of wills between creative auteurs trying to make incredible art and ignorant corporate suits trying to repress them.

That can happen, especially in dysfunctional studios (and boy could I tell some stories) but Walt Disney Animation Studios is not dysfunctional. It’s one of the most autonomous and well-treated parts of the Disney Company.

The director of Zootopia, Byron Howard, isn’t an edgelord. He made Bolt and Tangled. He knows what his audience is, and he’s responsible enough not to spend a year (and millions of dollars in budget) developing a grimdark Don Bluth story that leadership would never approve. It wouldn’t just be a waste of time--he would be endangering the livelihoods of the hundreds of people working under him. Meanwhile, Disney Animation’s corporate leadership trusts their talent. They don’t generally interfere with story development because they don’t need to. Because they employ people like Byron Howard.

Howard and the other creative leads of Zootopia have said a dozen times, in interviews and documentaries, that they gave up on the shock collar idea because it wasn’t working. They’ve explained their reasoning in detail. Maybe they’re leaving out some of the story, but in general? I believe them.

But Beastars Takes, you say, maybe even if Disney didn’t force them to back away from this darker version, it still would have been better?

Part 2: Why Shock Collars Seem Good

I will say this--I completely sympathize with people who see these storyboards and scenes from earlier versions of the movie and think “this seems amazing.” It does! A lot of these drawings and shots are heartbreakingly good, in isolation.

I love these boards. They make me want to cry. I literally have this drawing framed on my wall. Believe me, I get it.

But the only reason we care this much about this alternative draft of Zootopia is that the Zootopia we got made us love this world and these characters. You know what actually made me cry?

Oh, yeah.

So let’s set aside the astonishing hubris of insisting Zootopia’s story team abandoned the “good” version of the story, when the “bad version” is the most critically-acclaimed Disney animated feature in the past SIXTY YEARS.

“But Beastars Takes!” I hear you say. “Critics are idiots and just because something’s popular doesn’t make it good!”

Fair enough. Let’s talk about why the real movie is better.

Part 3: The Message (it is, in fact, like a jungle sometimes)

This type of thing is always hard to discuss, in the main--a lot of people don’t want to feel criticized or “called out” by the entertainment they consume, and they don’t want to be asked to think about their moral responsibilities. But it’s hard to deny that Zootopia is a movie with a strong point of view. Everything else--the characters, the worldbuilding, the plot, grows out from the movie’s central statement about bias.

And the movie we got, with no shock collars, makes that statement far more effectively.

To dive into the full scope of Zootopia’s worldview and politics (warts and all) would be a whole post on its own, so I’ll just summarize the key point of relevance here:

Zootopia's moral message is that you, the viewer, need to confront your own biases. Not yell at someone else. No matter how much of a good or progressive person you consider yourself to be--if you want to stand against prejudice you have to start with yourself.

That’s a tough sell! For that message to land, we need to see ourselves in the protagonist.

Judy’s a good person! She argues with her dad about foxes. She knows predators aren’t all dangerous. She’s not speciesist. Right?

Ah fuck.

Let’s fast-forward to the pivotal scene of this movie. In an unfortunate but inevitable confluence of circumstances, Judy’s own biases and prejudiced assumptions come out, and she shits the bad.

Nick, who’s already bared his soul to her (against his better instincts), is heartbroken. But not as heartbroken as he is a minute later when he tries to confront her about what she’s said, and she makes this face:

Whaaaat? Come on, Nick. I’m a good person. Why are you giving me a hard time?

People like to complain about this scene. That it’s a hackneyed “misunderstanding” trope that could be easily resolved with a discussion. They’re wrong. Nick tries to have a discussion. She blows him off.

This isn’t Judy acting out of character, this is her character. Someone who identifies as Not A Racist, and hasn’t given the issue any more thought. This is not only completely believable characterization (who hasn’t seen someone react this way when you told them they hurt you?) it’s the film’s central thesis!

Yes, Nick somewhat provokes her into reaching for her “fox spray,” and her own trauma factors in there, but she’s already made her fatal mistake before that happens.

(As an aside, people also make the criticism that the movie unrealistically deflects responsibility for racism onto Bellwether and her plot. It doesn’t. All the key expressions of prejudice in the film--Judy’s encounter with Gideon, her parents’ warnings, the elephant in the ice cream shop, Judy’s early encounters with Bogo, Judy's views on race science--exist largely outside of Bellwether’s influence. She is a demagogue who inflames existing tensions, she didn’t invent them. Bogo literally says “the world has always been broken.”)

So, anyway. But we love Judy. She’s an angel. She also kinda sucks! She’s proudly unprejudiced, and when her own prejudice is pointed out to her she argues and doesn’t take it seriously. This is bad, but it’s also a very human reaction. It’s one most of us have probably been guilty of at one point or another.

Look at Zootopia’s society, too--it’s shiny and cosmopolitan, seemingly idyllic. Anyone can be anything, on paper. But scratch too deep beneath the surface and there’s a lot of pain and resentment here, things nobody respectable would say in public but come out behind closed doors, or among family, when nobody’s watching. It’s entirely recognizable--at least to me, someone who lives in a large liberal city in the United States. Like Byron Howard.

Wow, this place is a paradise!

Wait, what’s a “NIMBY”?

Part 4: Why Shock Collars Are Bad

So, with the film’s conceit established, let’s circle back to the shock collar idea. Like I said, it’s heartbreaking. It’s dramatic. It’s affective.

It also teaches us nothing.

If I see a movie where predator animals are subjected to 24/7 electroshock therapy, I don’t think “wow, this makes me want to think about how I could do better by the people around me.” I think “damn that shit’s crazy lmao. that’d be fucked up if that happened.” At a stretch, it reminds me of something like the Jim Crow era, or the Shoah. You know, stuff in the Past. Stuff we’ve all decided couldn’t ever happen again, so why worry about it?

The directors have said this exact thing, just politely. “It didn’t feel contemporary,” they say in pressers. That’s what it means.

If anything, the shock collar draft reifies the mindset that Zootopia is trying to reject--it shows us that discrimination is blatant, and dramatic, and flagrantly cruel, and impossible to miss.

And...that’s not true. If you only look for bias at its most malicious and evil, you’re going to miss the other 95 percent.

The messaging of this “darker version” is--ironically--less mature, less insightful, less intelligent. Less useful. Darker’s not better.

Part 5: Why Shock Collars Are Still Bad

So what if you don’t care about the message? What if you have no interest in self-reflection, or critical analysis (why are you reading this blog then lmao)? What if you just really want to hear a fun story about talking animals?

Well, this is trickier, because the remaining reasons are pretty subjective and emotional.

The creators have said that the shock collar version didn’t work because the viewers hated the cruel world they’d created. They agreed with Nick--the city was beyond saving. They didn’t want to save it.

The creators have said that Judy was hard to sympathize with, not being able to recognize the shock collars for the obvious cruelty they were.

Fuck you, Judy!

But we haven’t seen the draft copies. We haven’t watched the animatics. We have to take their word for it. Anyone who’s sufficiently invested in this story is going to say “well, I disagree with them.” It doesn’t matter to them that they haven’t seen the draft and the filmmakers have. The movie they’ve imagined is great and nobody is going to convince them otherwise.

But the fact remains that the shock collar movie, as written, did not work. And, if behind the scenes material is to be believed, it continued to not work after months and months of story doctoring.

There’s even been a webcomic made out of the dystopian version of Zootopia. It’s clever and creative and well-written and entertaining and...it kind of falls apart. The creator, after more than a little shit-talk directed at Disney, abandoned the story before reaching the conclusion, but even before then the seams were beginning to show. How do you take a society that’s okay with electrocuting cute animals and bring it to a point of cathartic redemption? You can’t, really. The story doesn’t work.

Does that mean people shouldn’t make fanworks out of the cut material? That they shouldn’t be inspired and excited by it? Hell no. This drawing is cute as hell. The ideas are compelling.

But I suppose what I’d ask of you all is--if you’re weighing the hot takes of art students on Twitter against the explanations of veteran filmmakers, consider that the latter group might actually know what they’re talking about.

See you next time!

#zootopia #zootropolis #zoomania #zootopia takes #judy hopps #nick wilde #disney #chief bogo #byron howard

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everlastingfable · 3 years

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a jumbled mess of my thoughts about voltron

This’ll probably be the messiest post you’ll ever read. I’m done trying to finish this and edit it into something coherent, so I’m just combining the 3 drafts I have written out into one massive post. I doubt anyone will read this whole thing, but each draft is a sort of rewrite of the last, so there’s a lot of overlap. But there’s also a lot of new thoughts too as I kept thinking about this. There’s also a lot of unfinished thoughts.

There’s mostly negativity in this btw. This fandom had/has an amazing ability in making you think that this show was utter garbage. on par with riv//erdale or s//pn, but it really wasn’t. Like many shows they had weak points, it was never perfect, but it’s much better than we’re told to remember it as.

Intro from Draft 3 because I liked the way I started it:

This is all of my thoughts about Voltron, the show itself and the fandom. I have tried to write this post out for over a year or two now, so it was originally intended to be my final thoughts about the show. Obviously, it’s evolved since then into whatever this is. There may be some things that I’ll be wrong about, because I’m not about to dig through hundreds of discourse posts and old interview videos to prove a point that I doubt anyone’s gonna care about. This will 100% be based on my thoughts, opinions, and experiences.

That said, I don’t even know how to begin to describe how much I love this show. I’m probably one of the few people who have no regrets about enjoying this show as much as I do. I’d wholeheartedly recommend watching it, because it’s genuinely a good show. Voltron did the unimaginable for me. I don’t usually enjoy sci-fi stories. I especially don’t enjoy mecha stories. Yet somehow, Voltron combined the two and made a show that I loved so much I can’t stop thinking about it even though it ended over 2 years ago.

Draft 1: thoughts about a year after it ended without rewatching any seasons since it ended

It’s been about a year since voltron ended. I never wrote my thoughts about s8/the show then so here it is now. Because I decided to wait a year I honestly don’t remember a lot of specifics. But I still have a lot to say about it. This is very long and is basically everything I have to say about this show. I love voltron. It’s been an important part of my life during college. 90% of all papers I wrote were about voltron. But as much as I love it, I won’t deny that it fell apart at the end.

Note: I tried to categorize these thoughts so I don’t get off topic and can talk about everything fully. But because they overlap so much there’s definitely some minor repeats when I connect two parts but decided to hold off talking about it all the way until the right section.

PRODUCTION

This is something I’ve expressed concern over while it was airing, but in a span of 2 and a half years, they premiered 78 episodes. That’s a lot, especially when you consider that production for s3 started after s1 premiered. There’s a lot of really good voltron review videos out there that aren’t just “oh I’m so cool I hate voltron” but there was one that talked about how the production was a mess and the writers couldn’t make up their mind for the endgame ship. And while that doesn’t sound like an important issue, it really does show when it comes to how characters are written together and (I think) the fandom war.

Summarizing what that video said because I don’t remember who made it, the writers/producers never made up their mind on which ship was supposed to be endgame (klance, sheith, allurance, kallura). And this really does show in the show itself. I don’t like klance. I especially hate it because of my experience with the fandom, but I won’t deny that they were sometimes written romantically. The same goes for sheith. And that’s the problem.

I don’t think the world building parts of the show was fully developed either. Shiro was supposed to be a teen like everyone else but then he was an adult. His and keith’s relationship was honestly vague for a good while. I don’t think anyone really knew how each characters’ relationships with each other was supposed to progress. Was allurance always supposed to be endgame? Because they didn’t really interact that much until like season 6, and then it was kinda sudden from what I remember. There was very little, if at all, parts where we were shown oh allura might like lance romantically. Keith’s relationship with the main cast didn’t exist for like 3 seasons. It was messy.

Speaking of which, keith disappeared for a good portion of the show. I assume it’s because steven yeun was busy. Which is fine but then I think about how quickly voltron came and went, I wonder why they couldn’t slow down a bit so they could still have steven voice keith during those episodes. Maybe it’s because of how much I love keith, but he honestly felt like a central character to me.

If I think about teen titans, for example, this show also had 5 main characters. Sometimes certain characters would get a spotlight for a season, but all-in-all they were fairly equally represented. It didn’t feel like robin was the main character. But that’s how I feel about voltron. Keith, and shiro to an extent are the main characters. A good portion of the plot relies on them. Shiro got kidnapped, keith leads them to the blue lion. Shiro is the leader with keith has his right-hand man and they mostly interact with each other. So when shiro “dies” and keith takes over, it starts to feel like keith is now the main character. Now he’s the leader and the arc is about him growing into becoming the black paladin and stopping lotor, who is his main enemy. But then he disappears.

Again this is most likely because of my bias towards keith, but the episodes after that felt lackluster. Lance didn’t really get his character growth to become a good second-in-command. Because that development was supposed to be based around keith. :P. A big part of lance’s growth is to learn to stop needing to feel that he’s better than keith. And him accepting keith as the black paladin was a huge part of it. But with shiro as the leader again lance loses that development. Keith’s not in the picture anymore, and the person in-charge was already in a leadership position and has nothing to learn by being there.

Before I go way too deep into my thoughts about the plot/characterization, I do want to mention the animation. The fighting scenes are amazing and one of the most beautiful 2d animation I’ve seen. That is, when it is actually animated and not just the camera panning on a still image. Here’s where my biggest concern over the time comes in. 2 years is absolutely not enough time to animate that many episodes. I was genuinely worried for the animation company because it could not have been a good experience. And yes, we got more episodes sooner, the quality definitely dropped and it’s a real shame. Who knows when we’ll get another american cartoon in this style. I love this animation style but it takes time and a lot of skills to do, so not that many companies do it. I honestly wished they took their time with the show not just to get more time to animate, but also to flesh out some of the plot.

PLOT

As hunk said in one episode, they don’t linger on dramatic events that just happened. This show is very fast paced, and that’s not a bad thing. But they never took the time they needed to really feel the weight of everything that happens. Keith’s galra heritage reveal was basically swept under the rug. So was the shiro clone, lotor’s death, zarkon’s death, naxzela, and so many more. In general, that was a big problem with how the episodes went. If it wasn’t for the sheer number of fanfics covering those topics, they were really swept under the rug. It honestly kinda felt like the writers didn’t know what to do with the aftermath of their reveals. But some of these were pretty essential to the plot of the story.

Keith’s part galra! So he doesn’t look it but there had to be obstacles with voltron forming the coalition. He’s part of the race that caused this war. I honestly think we should’ve seen that reveal become part of the plot, or what was the point of it? They could’ve just as easily wrote keith to be a regular human just like everyone else. Taking the time to add that part of his character needs to have some significance in the story. And yeah, they had krolia appear but she wasn’t really a significant character except to kinda magically fix keith’s problems. In general it felt like they forgot parts that they were foreshadowing with keith. Why could he turn purple sometimes? Did that quintessence he was hit with fix him or help him hide the galra parts? Why does he look so human? What is up with him having that quintessence sensitivity? I’m all for shows ending with some questions unanswered because sometimes it’s impossible to answer it all and let it feel natural, but this just felt like they forgot or decided it’s too much of a hassle and just ignored it.

Okay going into more specifics now, s8 was kinda meh. It especially felt bad because it came out the same day as spiderverse which had a very similar villain motivation, but objectively done better. I think honerva’s motivation came out of nowhere. We see in the flashback episode that she was so intent on getting knowledge that it literally destroyed daibazaal. So, it was established that her motivation is knowledge. Even though she lost her memory and regained it, as haggar she was still very focused on quintessence. We know she was gathering a lot of it, and maybe they said it and I forgot, but we never knew why. Family wasn’t really shown as a motivation for her. Even with lotor it didn’t seem like she wanted to be a family again, but instead was using him for her own unknown motivations. Anyways, the season felt awkward. And the new dynamic they had really needed more time. The last season should’ve expanded to be at least 2 more. It would’ve fit a lot better imo. S1-2 would have zarkon as the main villain, s3-6 would have lotor, and s7-8 would have haggar, who was also the puppeteer throughout the entire show. But she didn’t appear for s7 and her motivations didn’t really make sense in s8 so it evidently felt rushed. There were also so many major characters in s8 we needed more time to see them interact.

So the ending with allura becoming constellations. Gonna be honest that whole last part had me confused. Especially with the fact that I barely remember what happened, why are the old paladins like trapped in the lions? I could excuse the other 4 but zarkon? Especially a zarkon that’s not corrupted? It was weird and didn’t make a whole lot of sense, and that’s all I’ll say about that. I don’t even want to try to suggest an alternative because I think that whole last half of the season is so messy it can’t be fixed. But it was so obviously pandering to the fandom it hurt. Lance getting those marks was so obviously referencing when people wanted lance to be altean in response to keith’s galra heritage. The shiro/curtis kiss was very “look see he is gay and not just because we said so” while nice, was very weak (why wasn’t keith in the shot?).

Despite my complaints, I remember liking s8. I really liked the addition of the atlas, even though it didn’t feel like we were watching voltron anymore sometimes. S7 had to be one of my favorite episodes since s2. Not to say that s7 is better or worse, but I really like it because it felt like a genre shift. I usually don’t like space sci-fi or mecha stories. Voltron somehow managed to combine the two and make me love it. S7 did not feel like either of those. First, a good half of it took place on earth. And I believe two episodes didn’t even have the main cast, and when team voltron finally made it to earth, voltron wasn’t even there until the final battle. I genuinely loved it. I think it was a very well done invasion/apocalyptic story that doesn’t get told in animation that often. But if I think about s7 with the rest of the show, it was awful. It broke up the tone the show usually had and it was a very different way of storytelling that voltron didn’t have before. It wasn’t a space sci-fi mecha story, it was an apocalyptic action story. Voltron was so unimportant they sat on a moon for episodes. It stopped becoming voltron and started becoming a spin-off.

I do have to add that I absolutely loved the color themes in s7. We already had purple for the galra, but in s7 it was very obvious that alteans are themed blue and earth is themed with orange. I loved it so much and it was great. I do like that they gave shiro something to do. Honestly not killing him off in s2 made him an awkward character afterwards. But I didn’t like that they brought back sendak. There was no explanation for it and it wasn’t good imo. He didn’t really do anything besides conquer earth then die. Haggar was also absent the entire season which definitely didn’t help her storyline in s8 because we didn’t know what she was doing the entire time except abandoning everyone who was loyal to her.

I’m usually not a fan of time skips, it has the tendency to gloss over character development or create glossed over recap. Honestly I wish voltron spent more time over the blade of marmora massacre or just the bom in general. They received no rest. Literally everyone part of that group died except for kolivan. Speaking of that episode, there was no explanation for how keith was able to know where macidus was about to appear and that honestly bugs me. There’s so much about keith we don’t know. He has so many abilities we were just never told.

Again a lot of problems within team voltron is that there was never any follow up on things that happened, like keith leaving the team. He becomes the black paladin and no one bats an eye. Lance did make one comment about keith leaving but then it wasn’t ever mentioned again. I get that the writers/producers wanted the dynamic the original had, but they didn’t take the time to work up to it. Keith wasn’t a natural leader, but he suddenly is because he spent 2 years on a space whale with his mom and a space wolf. Like I mentioned earlier, voltron feels like keith is the main character but then they dropped him for a few episodes, realized that he’s important and added him back in while saying “oh he went through a time skip so he grew into the role he needs to be in now”. It feels like a cheap pay off.

I’d like to specifically talk about my thoughts on each season and work back but honestly I don’t think I can remember s3-6 separately. So they’re being chunked together.

Lotor had the potential to be a really great villain. But he had to be foiled with keith. They have a lot of similarities that I think could’ve really played off well together. Lotor isn’t really allowed to have a leadership position. Yeah he was technically in charge while zarkon was recovering, but haggar didn’t really allow him full control. But, he was a great leader. He knew how to read his enemies and form an alliance. Meanwhile, keith had a leadership position thrusted to him, and frankly he wasn’t a good leader. He tends to keep to himself so he never really has to make decisions with a team. It could’ve been great, but shiro had to still be in the story. I’m honestly conflicted about this because on the one hand, I think it really ruined character developments for the main cast, but then I loved the clone shiro plot line. I think keeping shiro prevented keith from growing. He was able to remain dependent on shiro instead of actually bonding with the rest of the paladins. And of course he had to just go awol. Also, lance didn’t really get to have as prominent of a role as I think he could’ve had with keith.

These seasons are also when the lions stopped being sentient robots that specifically choose their paladins to just really cool spaceships. We don’t get that level of bonding that was so prominent in s1 and 2. That’s also something I’m conflicted with. I think the lion swap was a great way for character developments, but it also removed a lot of it. It kinda made the bonding feel useless. The swap also changed the dynamic of the group. Instead of shiro and allura being co-leaders, and everyone else feeling like they’re on equal footing, it felt like Keith was the leader with lance being a needed right-hand man. Hunk and pidge were off doing their thing and allura was a leader but also not. Maybe if they had spent more time working with this dynamic it would’ve felt better. But they didn’t and it didn’t. Voltron also implied that allura was the only one that could control the castle ship, but then she goes to become a paladin and who’s driving the ship?

I do wish we could’ve gotten more about the altean colony and the reveal about lotor’s plans, but that got overshadowed and forgotten by the clone shiro reveal. Maybe I just missed it, but I wasn’t sure what the galra empire and lotor were collecting quintessence for. Was it just to make mechs to rival voltron? Lotor’s death was also very unclear.

The coalition was a much needed thing, but I think very badly executed. They were gathering people from malls. These people are regular civilians who probably don’t know how to fight or fly a ship. I thought it was really weird that they were just getting regular people (aliens?) to sign up like they’re applying to be part of the army. But we never see them maybe join the rebel force matt is part of to learn how exactly to help. I think about avatar and how they also had a rag tag group of people to fight against the fire nation, but these weren’t just regular people living in a village. They were either warriors or very skilled benders. The voltron coalition was just regular people. That genuinely annoyed me because the voltron show just felt like those army propaganda ads, but exciting. Not to mention it was a very hard to watch episode.

It was definitely making fun of how the fandom complains about how characters are getting reduced to a certain characteristic. But it wasn’t done in an entertaining way like the ember island players episode from atla because some of those were legit complaints (like hunk being the fat/food guy) and that stuff wasn’t resolved. Like the ember island players made fun of sokka constantly talking about meat or katara crying all the time, but the show made it very clear beforehand that these characters are much more than that. Is hunk really more than the food guy? As far as the show mentions, the only things he’s done was make the machine to help find the blue lion, and help save the balmera. All of which was in season 1. After that hunk honestly took the backseat in voltron.

I mentioned earlier, but the time skip on the space whale felt like we were cheated out of keith’s character development. I mean we got development, but we didn’t get to see it. The vlog short showed that keith believes a lot of his problems stems from not having a mom (and a dad) in his life. But instead of seeing keith learning to trust and open up to people despite having so many people in his life leaving him, we get a cute montage of him with his mom. As if it makes sense that two years with his mom would fix everything. (side note, I know a lot of people were saying how obvious it was that krolia was keith’s mom, I genuinely did not know until she said so at the end of that episode).

I’m not gonna talk about my thoughts on s1 and 2 because I’m pretty sure I live blogged those and honestly I don’t think I remember it.

CHARACTERS

Now I’m finally talking about the characters and I’m starting off with keith as if I haven’t talked about him enough already. I love keith. He’s undeniably one of my (if not the) favorite characters ever. And he’s obviously a fandom favorite if we’re considering the two biggest ships in the fandom. Or maybe he really is just the secret main character of voltron. We know so much about him, for someone who loves keith, it’s great. We basically know his entire backstory, and yet we know no one else’s (except maybe lotor but even that’s iffy).

I never rewatched a single voltron episode since it ended, and I can’t watch any of the connected shows (meaning shows that have the same ppl that worked on it or the same fans, think dragon prince and she-ra) because the fandom was the absolute worst one I’ve ever been in and parts legit trigger me. I am fascinated with fandoms. I love it. I chose my major because it was the closest I could get to just learning about them 24/7. But the voltron fandom was so incredibly toxic and over two ships? Honestly the fandom itself was a major reason why I couldn’t get super invested in the later seasons. I get afraid when it seems like a certain ship might happen. I actually hoped that certain characters just didn’t interact. (I’m not gonna get much deeper in this because I don’t want to touch this topic with a ten-foot pole, at least not now) Aside from that, I think that the plot and characterizations for voltron got really messy post s2. The lion switch was never handled well imo, and post switch the lions lost that sentient personality that was established in the first two seasons. It also didn’t make sense aside from the writers wanted everyone in the original lions. Or at least, we never got the proper character developments into those roles. Keith left right after becoming the black paladin.

I think another major problem with the show is how some decisions felt like pandering. I remember hearing that they didn’t kill off shiro because he was a fan favorite, so he had to stay for marketing and to make more money. But then keeping shiro alive would’ve derailed the original plot idea. I wish I could see how the story would’ve played out with shiro staying dead.

Draft 2: rewatched the show then started writing this

So I wrote a draft of this like a year ago, realized I don’t remember the show much, so I rewatched the whole show and started rewriting my thoughts.

Pre-rewatch thoughts: It was a good show that was poorly executed

Mid-rewatch thoughts: it’s a really good show that just has some weak points (the second half of lotor’s arc, team voltron’s importance in season 4-6 it feels like a lot of filler episodes until keith shows up again)

End-rewatch thoughts: it's actually a really good show. It has some weak points and some really strong points. Season 8 was confusing though. I went through most of it going yeah okay I guess that can happen.

Final verdict: it's a genuinely good show

What went wrong

It ended on its weakest season, which was also the most abstract and different season. While the main antagonist changed throughout the seasons, it still continued to be the galra empire. Even when lotor joined, the team was still fighting fractions of the galra empire. Meanwhile, season 8 didn’t have any conflict with the galra. The antagonists were honerva and the alteans, who are very different types of villains compared to the galra. There was also little build up to that change. Sure, we got to experience that briefly in season 3 when they went to the alternate reality, but I don’t think that was built up well. Also, the protagonists and the audience are just not prepared. We don’t know how the alteans work like the extent of their abilities, but we were given dozens of episodes to learn about the galra. As a result season 8 just wound up with me feeling confused and thinking “uhh sure I guess they can do that, that makes sense maybe?”

It could not pick who its protagonist is. Yeah the five humans plus allura (and coran?) are the main characters but most shows with multiple major characters still focus one one character as the protagonist. Like atla has aang, adventure time has finn, umbrella academy has five. Voltron just never picks someone and the group constantly changes too, so you end up having to not focus on any character for the sake of time. Of course not all shows do that. Teen Titans had each season focus on a particular member of the team, and tbh I was wondering if that was what they were planning for the show, especially when season 2 was so Keith focused but guess not.

It feels like they did not have the time to fully flesh out the story. Voltron came and went so incredibly fast. They had 8 seasons (technically 6 if you group up the halved seasons). But also the show only lasted 2 years. It honestly horrifies me to think of the time crunch everyone on the team was going through, especially the animators. You can see the drop in quality as there were very few scenes that involved actual animation for the middle bulk of the show. So then, how much time did they have to develop the story, in addition to execs telling them what they can and can’t do. There’s so many arcs that seemed to start then get forgotten, and I don’t blame the writers for that at all. Although I wish we could’ve learned more about Lance and the Altean sword and Keith with his apparent quintessence sensitivity, they probably just didn’t have the time to plot those out.

It had too much outside influence. Such as, the writers wanting to kill off shiro, but then being forced to keep him on the show because the execs said to. And honestly, the fandom. For example, the whole last episode with Lance getting the Altean marks (an obvious omage to ppl wanting Altean Lance).

What went right

There’s a reason why the show became so popular (aside from being a reboot of a popular 80′s show) and it’s because of the characters. I’m not about the whole “we become attached to characters because the writers did them wrong but we fans can see the potential and that’s why fan works are better” bs that I see going around this site all the time. The first season particularly wrote these characters so well. They’re relatable but also intriguing enough for you to care about what’s going to happen to them.

Some thoughts regarding popular fandom discussions:

It’s a plot-driven show with character-focused fans

I like to think of there being two ways to tell a story: by being character-focused or plot-driven. Plot driven shows are ones like atla, young justice, legend of korra, etc. There’s a conflict that gets introduced and the story revolves around that conflict. Character-focused shows are ones like adventure time or we bare bears, they’re less concerned about a plot line and focus more on the characters interacting with their world. Of course all stories incorporate both parts, just some focus more on one than the other. So, here’s where I think a lot of the issues about voltron and the fandom comes from. Voltron is a very obviously plot-driven show but the fandom is very character-focused. I won’t deny I loved the episodes about keith. Season 4 and 5 were hard for me to watch because I missed my boy. But that’s where the arguments come from. People get upset that their fav isn’t in the spotlight

It didn’t queerbait

I understand watching a show for representation, I really do, but voltron is not that show and that's okay. Not every show has to be revolutionary in its representation of marginalized people. I won't pretend to know the harmful tropes for marginalized people. My consumption of media is not usually diverse. But I will stand by my stance that a large part of voltron's later seasons is about the casualties of war. So of course a lot of people died. I also firmly believe that the producers had a much easier time adding diversity to their own created characters than the main voltron characters, because of rights and all that complicated nonsense. So as a result the ones who were more expendable and could die were also the same characters that they could add diversity too.

I’m gonna add the definition of queerbait here so we’re all on the same page: Queerbait is a marketing technique for fiction and entertainment in which creators hint at, but then do not actually depict, same-sex romance or other LGBTQ representation.

But here’s the thing. We were told at comic-con or one of those cons that Shiro is gay, and he had a boyfriend. They actually gave us that. Yeah it wasn’t as explicit as She-ra got, but that’s another point for later. There was no lying about it. Shiro is canonically gay, and his boyfriend was Adam. If anything, this whole thing came out of wanting Keith in a relationship with Shiro or Lance. Yes. I will admit, there are plenty of scenes between Keith and Lance, and Keith and Shiro that can be read as romantic. Someone correct me if I’m wrong but did any of the cast members tease the possibility of Kl//ance or Sh//eith (VAs don’t count, sorry but they don’t really have a say in the story)? Because unless they did, and they did repeatedly, the fandom queerbaited themselves. So many people in the fandom were so certain that Keith would be in a relationship with one of them, there was basically an all out war. Even if there was a chance, did you really think the creators (who were pretty active in early fandom days) would continue that development? It was so so toxic they were forced to shut off any possibilities of that.

In regards to minority characters

Again, I'll admit vld is not the place to go for real, proper representation. Their characters tend to be characters that happen to be a part of a minority rather than a minority character. wtf does that mean? Well, you can swap (earth) races for just about any character and it wouldn't make too much of a difference in how they act. There's some lines that wouldn't work like Lance's "I'm just a boy from Cuba" but other than that there would be no significant change. Of course this goes down to preference. Would you want a minority character whose struggles reflect those in real life and as a result be defined by that aspect of themselves, or do you want a character that just happens to be a part of a minority group but whose life is not really affected by that?

Draft 3: months after the rewatch, mostly an attempt to reorganize the previous two drafts

I’m gonna start with the negatives just to get the ranting off my chest. Season 8 was bad. Yeah. No argument there. Although I wouldn’t say it was bad in the same way Game of Thrones and Supernatural was bad. Rather, it was an interesting and complex premise that didn’t have the build up it needed and honestly needed a few more passthroughs to iron out some parts. At worse, I felt it was confusing to the point where I just accepted whatever new worldbuilding thing they threw at me. The issue with Season 8 vs Seasons 1-7 is that Season 8 had a completely different villain, and a brand new cast dynamic. We got 7 seasons (65 episodes) developing the Galra as the villain. We got to learn who they are, their motives, how they operate, etc. Not only that, but they were pretty basic and easy to understand villains. They’re conquerors. They don’t have any sort of magic, they really just use brute force to attack and enslave the planets. In striking contrast, the Alteans in Season 8 weren’t conquerors. They didn’t care about controlling the universe. They also had magic abilities that our main characters don’t understand and didn’t explore. Season 8 had villains who could create illusions, mind control, and manipulate quintessence. The Alteans are leagues beyond the Galra in terms of complexities as an antagonist, but they didn’t get nearly enough time to be fully developed.

Also, Season 8 essentially doubled the cast size. So despite the fact that we have yet to see much of Keith-as-the-black-paladin Voltron group dynamic, now that screentime is being balanced with the MFE pilots and other Garrison characters. Essentially, there were too many characters, and too little time to flesh out the ideas of this season. A side note, Haggar’s (Honerva?) motivations were lame. I think it would’ve been much more interesting if her plans were just to continue the research she did 10,000 years ago with the rift. That would’ve also brought back the rift monsters which we never got an answer for. What even are they? Instead, her goal to have a family again is really weak. Even in the flashbacks she never showed any care for the more familial aspects of her life. It didn’t make sense for that to be her drive. It also didn’t help that Season 8 came out on like the same day as Spiderverse and the antagonists for both had the same goal, but Spiderverse did an immensely better job.

Another thing that didn’t make sense to me was Keith giving the speech to the rest of the Galra. He is not the right character to give that speech. Sure he’s Galra, but he didn’t even know for most of his life. For him to say “we” like he’s also a citizen of the Galra empire feels so weird. He never grew up with the Empire’s influence, and we never saw him experiencing Galra culture with the Blade. He learned about the Galra as an outsider, and despite the fact that he’s part Galra (he doesn’t even remotely look Galra), I don’t think that gives him the authority to say a speech like that. The speech is similar to Zuko’s at the end of ATLA, and that makes me feel like it would’ve been a lot better had Lotor said it. I think even Kolivan would’ve been a better fit than Keith.

The more I’m writing about Season 8, the more I’m remembering just how messy and confusing it was. Additionally, the last bit of Season 8 was so obviously pandering to the fandom it gives me second-hand embarrassment. Lance getting those marks was so obviously referencing when people wanted Lance to be Altean in response to Keith's galra heritage. The Shiro getting married was just to make it more obvious that he’s gay, but had no build up. (There were definitely more but I didn’t write myself a list and I’m not rewatching that season)

Second, “Voltron queerbaited”. [this was posted before here]

Speaking of which, Voltron premiered summer of 2016 and ended in winter of 2018. That’s about 2 and a half years where they aired 78 episodes. That’s stupid fast, especially for an animated series. I’m constantly worried about what the people working on that show had to endure. For sure, Season 3 with Shiro coming back wasn’t written until at least Season 1. I recalled the execs demanding that Shiro not be dead since he was a popular character. It’s honestly concerning how little time they had to work on the show, and it unfortunately showed. In the later seasons, a lot of the shots were just still frames that moved across the scene. And the plot line with Lotor could’ve used some work. Although, I think Shiro being forced in there was also a reason for it being so shaky.

I honestly hate Seasons 4 & 5. I cannot tell you what happened because my brain keeps erasing it. Obviously, the lack of Keith had a huge impact on my opinion of those seasons, but it also felt like a whole lot of filler episodes, and not the fun ones with character development. With Keith mostly out of the picture, and Lance becoming the right hand of Voltron, that should’ve been a great time to develop Lance to become a second-in-command. To have him go through an arc where he overcomes his insecurities. It would’ve also been an amazing time to develop his and Shiro’s relationship. But we didn’t get any of that.

I genuinely believe Keith was supposed to stay the black paladin and Shiro wasn’t supposed to come back. Keith would be an amazing foil to Lotor. They’re both half-Galra. They’ve both been given a new leadership role that they don’t want. The middle arc always felt so weak to me, and as I mentioned earlier, the Allura/Lotor interactions were awkward. It feels shoehorned in because someone has to interact with Lotor and I guess the writers decided Allura was the best option?

Season 3-6 felt like the epitome of what happens when showrunners are forced to do whatever the execs say and have no time to properly develop their story. I’ll forever be bitter at all the character and relationship development we lost because of that. We never got to see Keith really learn to open up to the team and start to trust others. But Keith still had to get to that point, which is why I assume they had the time jump for him. It’s so disappointing because we lost what could’ve been a great character development. It also made Keith being the Black Paladin again feel cheap. We didn’t get to see the struggle he had to be the leader Shiro saw he could be. He was just suddenly leading them and they worked like a proper team.

Voltron also had a lot of plot holes. Now, I don’t expect shows to answer every question, because it’s impossible to tie everything up and leave no questions unanswered in a natural way. But, there’s a lot of things that felt like the beginning of a plot line or honestly needed some answers. Like, Lance shifting his bayard to a sword. What was the point of that if it was never mentioned again? It felt like that was an important start to an arc for him that just got forgotten. Also, what was up with Keith’s quintessence sensitivity? How was he able to sense where that druid was. How did he know he could summon his bayard to him. I think the part that bugged me the most was that Keith was the only one who did that. Also, Keith’s eyes becoming slitted during his fight with Kuron was never addressed, and I really wish it was. It felt like such a throwaway moment that could’ve been interesting to explore more. Although I’m not too upset with that one as I think we were given enough to piece together a reason for it.

#have fun with this monstrosity of a post #over 7k words #personal #my thoughts about #frxstguardian #kingofthewilderwest #honestly the only two people this post was intended for #I give up!!

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witchofrvnswood · 4 years

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awwp rant pt. 2: the characters!

oh boy we’re finally back with part 2!

so in part 1, i discussed plot points that i found troubling and nonsensical. this time, i’m talking about the characters and how they each pissed me off <3

note: am only doing the ones i have beef with, everyone else is cool

let’s start with sophie:

sophie

i’ll be honest, i’ve been conflicted on her character in this book for quite some time. but i think i understand my opinion on her in book 2 much better now that i’ve really thought about it.

so this is the book where she’s probably at her most vulnerable (book 3 could be a contender too). she just lost her mind, killed many people, and is trying so hard to prove that she is good and deny everything that she had done the previous year. we also see why she behaves the way she does, with losing her mother at a young age and blaming her father for neglecting them. we understand why she goes so far to obtain love and why she ranks true love above everything else.

but her methods with dealing with this is toxic. she sees agatha as a tool for a happy ending, and it seems to come more out of desperation to belong with someone, then wanting agatha herself, as she easily dropped her for rafal and then tedros in book three. she does whatever she can to ensure agatha chooses her and only her much like tedros does in this book.

she sneaks out and follows agatha, makes agatha believe tedros tried to hurt her, comforted her and claimed she had “warned agatha” but also acted super forgiving as if agatha was the one who was in the wrong for doubting her and when the truth comes out, pins it all on agatha for trying to choose someone besides. her. now, agatha is not completely in the right in this situation, but what sophie does is so manipulative and cunning. without knowing her backstory and sympathizing with her, she would easily be soon as a cruel and toxic person.

her time as filip was very humbling for her and she realized what she did was completely wrong and she begans to sympathize with tedros and realize maybe he isn’t the villain of the story like she painted him to be. of course, this goes a bit far and she finds herself attracted to him.... which..... did not need to happen considering how toxic their relationship was in book 1.

at the end, she chose rafal out of desperation to be loved, showing she still hasn’t changed and ended up staying with him as he supposedly was the only person in the world who still loved her. (wrong very wrong he’s awful but we’ll get to that later-)

tedros

bro. broooooo. when i tell you i wanted to throw the darn book when i read his scenes in the first half of the book-

when dovey was explaining tedros’ actions after sophie and agatha left, i could not believe it, i thought she had to be joking because no way does an individual overreact to THAT point.

he literally wanted to murder sophie as revenge for taking agatha away from him?? what?? is he mentally okay? i understand seeing her as a barrier between them because, yeah, he’s always been insecure cause his dad’s best friend stole his mom away from him so that must’ve hit a nerve, but agatha willingly went with sophie. why does he need to hurt sophie over this? it’s up to agatha who she chooses, not sophie. and she chose him! she told him right to his face that she chose him and he’s still like “no we have to kill sophie first-” sir-

not to mention how generally messed up this message is? tedros claims that you can’t be in a relationship and have friends at the same time. what?? why is this in the book? why is this even a theme? of course you should be able to have friends and have a relationship, when did that suddenly become impossible?

“I let her live last time and she took you! I can’t make the same mistake, Agatha. I can’t lose you again!” (Chapter 12). this is basically tedros trying to cut off agatha’s friendship because he knows she’s close with sophie and is worried she’ll choose her over him and he sees his only solution to this to be killing sophie. honestly, if i were agatha, i would be fucking terrified of him, like when i was reading it i was thinking “run from this relationship please-”

which sucks because i’m a huge tagatha fan but they were undeniably toxic in this book for me.

in the second half though, that’s when i started feeling bad for him because he genuinely thought he got betrayed by agatha too and ugh that killed me bc after her, he had no hope for happiness left and that’s why he turned to revenge, but the moment he freed the teachers, he got locked up, starved, beaten, and tortured which is ??

i wouldn’t wish that on anyone (except aric lawl) and god he did not deserve that i felt so horrible for him. everyone turned against him, the entire school hated him, he fully believed his true love betrayed him, and he got beaten by aric every single night. as much as i despised him before this point, he did not deserve any of that and i’m so glad filip came when he? she? did because yeah it’s tophie all over again (yikes) but he REALLY needed a friend then and i’m so happy he got one.

ONLY TO GET BETRAYED BY HIM AGAIN RIP. sorry that was not needed but ahem

i was so so happy when he realized agatha never lied and ended up going home with her, as much as i hated the ending, i was happy for him and only him, boy’s been through too much.

but overall, i’d say i dislike him as a character in this book but i also felt super bad for him?? book 2 is so complicated y’all i have so many mixed feelings about everyone in this book.

agatha

okay. so. i keep going back and forth between being fucking annoyed at her and feeling bad for her which i feel is an understandable summary of how she is in this book.

her being scared of sophie - i completely understand that. i’d be surprised if she wasn’t. this is a girl who tried to kill her, tore her down, and went batshit crazy just nine months ago and is now suddenly calm but there’s still a bad vibe to her? and she chose her over someone who finally treated her well, finally saw her as an equal, and showed her that she doesn’t have to bear so much burden just to be loved back.

but i honestly felt kind of annoyed at how she automatically, no hesitation wanted to stay with tedros forever and never look back. um. honey. let’s break this down. we’re talking about a boy she has had no contact with for nine months, wasn’t even in a solid relationship with before she left, and said boy probably has beef with her for leaving him in the first place. and she feels completely fine with sneaking into his school and telling him she wants to be with him forever the SAME day she got back.

what??? is??? this???

this is the same agatha who berated sophie for trying to get with tedros the same day she met him without even knowing him well, right? the same agatha who you’d expect to be smart and think through emotional decisions like these, right? did they replace her personality what???

i get the coven pushed her to meet him immediately but this was just so poorly planned out and so tactless i can’t help but judge her sorry hun.

after that she makes herself believe sophie is good and perfect and maybe this is just her lying to herself because she’s mad at herself for choosing tedros but reading about her talking about how sophie is so amazing and perfect and loves her more than anything compared to being ready to bolt at the sight of her was just so fake. can we talk about how fake their friendship in this book? how fake it is in general? i think wbk.

at the end she finds out sophie lied despite the obvious clues (the scim suit (WHY WOULD BEATRIX USE IT), the spirick marks on sophie’s wrist yada yada yada) and she dumps her ass for tedros and decides they’re staying together forever despite barely knowing him as a person not to mention he just tried to kill her um-

(where is the logic in this book please help me i can’t seem to find it-)

the coven

i’ll be honest: they annoyed the HELL out of me in this book. well, specifically anadil and hester. they pressured agatha to choose tedros and go to him on the first day she got back (BAD PLAN) all so they could return to normal,,, which i guess isn’t out of character for them to do anything to get what they want but it really wasn’t their business? or at least they had no right to be as pushy as they were.

not to mention how HORRIBLE they were to dot. oh my god. the way they treated her in this book was disgusting and the lowest point in their friendship. at first i passed it off as them being hurt that dot replaced them and were lashing out because they had no better way to deal with their problems, which is true but also?? let’s not forget they BULLIED dot so bad in their first year and even kicked her out and replaced her with sophie and as far as we know, they never apologized for it. can we really blame dot for wanting new and kinder friends?

but even then they persisted to isolate her from others, shut down her book club which she used to make friends, and ended up forcing herself to gain weight if she wanted to keep their friendship. y’all i don’t even think anyone realizes how toxic the coven can be at times, the books spend a lot of time solidifying their frienship to the point that it ignores how awful it was at first. and not to mention dot is used to this treatment as she’s been physically and emotionally abused by her father, so as much as she dislikes their treatment of her, she still sees them as her friends and she will do anything to keep them.

i’m glad dot has learned to stand up for herself and gave it back to hester in tlea but god was her and anadil’s treatment of her sickiening.

professor dovey

i did not like her scene in the beginning of this book. she was awful to agatha and sophie and kept tossing blame for how the woods changed on them and yelling at agatha for not choosing tedros - um, she had a split second to decide and her friend literally died and came back to life a minute ago, how was she expected to leave her?

i dunno the way she berated them really got on my nerves because they’re just 15 year olds? they didn’t ask for their story to be told or for their personal relationships to affect the entire world? yes, if it had to be pointed towards anyone, it’s them, but instead of comforting them and trying to help them find a way to fix this, she goes all pointing fingers and straight up saying it would be easier if sophie was dead (not gonna lie i had a good giggle when i read this part but if you think about, that’s actually really sickening).

i’ll be honest, i love professor dovey as a character but she just seemed so cruel in book 2 i mean i get she was super frustrated but these children are confused and distraught enough already? she’s their teacher, she’s supposed to look after them but instead she just insulted them and stressed them out.

as for lady lesso, yes she did the same, but that was pretty in character for her. yes, it was wrong of her, but idk it’s something you would expect from her and she’s known to be the type to be tough on her students, while dovey is just not like that at all. and also, dovey was WAY more mean and short-tempered in this mean, i have to say.

evelyn sader

she was... an interesting villain. super cunning super devious i really admired her except for her doing all of this toxic feminism bullshit (which was honestly already bad enough!) for rafal, A MAN. WHAT. how does that make ANY sense?

evelyn: #kam2020 make them boys your slaves we got this in the bag girls

also evelyn: omg rafal senpai notice me uwu i did all of this for you *gestures towards girls annihilating boys*

anyways her death was um... shocking. rip. or maybe not.

aric

do- do i have to go into this one? killing yara, torturing tedros, being misogynistic, honestly pick one, i just don’t have the energy to rip him apart for the thousandth time.

#the school for good and evil #school for good and evil #sge #schoolforgoodandevil #theschoolforgoodandevil #TWO WHOLE DAYS TO TYPE THIS BYE I AM TAKING A LONG LONG NAP #sorry if these were a bit harsh/too salty/made absolutely no sense i was gonna edit it but then i decided to Not because #idk my full unedited feelings are infinitely superior?

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