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theunconcernedembalmer · 3 years

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Toko! I was thinking of creating an ask the character blog for IDV or Genshin Impact and wanted a few tips on how to start off. Anything you can share?

ey yo my dude!! thank you so much for this question, now im lowkey tempted (again) to make a genshin ask blog sjadhlkshgkahshglsaj anyway my 1.5 cents is under the cut, yall know how much i talk here HAHAHAHAH

uhhhhhh so i guess we start with picking a character u really Vibe with tm? I KNOW THIS SOUNDS LIKE COMMON SENSE BUT LIKE ive been considering making a genshin ask blog for a while now but i never really got to it cos i couldnt really decide on a character (plus the fact that their outfits are. so intricate. is also a hmm since i try to follow details to a t) (at first i wanted to do zhongli, but i feel like to be able to muse him well u need to know the lore super super well, which i dont n im too lazy to research on that aha. n u know how much i respect characterizations, especially for such a complex character like him. i also considered xiangling for a period of time mostly for guoba but also like i have 2+1 blogs here n having one more might not be a very good idea aha) (as for aesop he was my Hyperfixation Character tm also cos i looked at his kit n went Yep i could work with this. probably)

so assuming ur not a dumbass like me n u kinda know who u wanna pick, id actually say to snoop around here for other ask blogs n kinda get a feel of the... scene? is that the word? or like u know, other blogs that u can potentially vibe with. ive run a couple of ask blogs before this current one (both that have died for different reasons) n from my experience interacting with other blogs (if theyre okay with it, i think most should be) is pretty fun. it also kinda helps get ur blog around to other ppl on other blogs so they can go Oh whats this cool shit n check u out, n its also a reason why we kinda reblog promo posts for other blogs (also cos we’re always excited when someone new comes on, its really the more the merrier. we see all :eyes:). interacting with other blogs is also an option when ur inbox is looking real roomy too

another reason why i havent exactly done a genshin blog is that idk i cant actually seem to find genshin ask blogs around (i have seen rp blogs, or those that answer asks with mostly text instead of art, but thats. not my thing since i hate my own writing aha) (i did find one aether blog some time ago, but for some reason i hardly see them around anymore??? idk man i might be wrong). its not like im trying super hard to find them ask blogs, so im sure they exist out there (hopefully?? im not sure but im being optimistic). i mean theres nothing wrong with just starting an ask blog without others around, but for me i do find a difference when i interact with other ask blogs n when i dont, n i prefer when theres others to have fun with (unfortunately i couldnt find any ask blogs to interact with in my previous fandom. i tried, but the blogs i approached seemed to go inactive shortly afterwards...) plus u get to meet friends that way too :D (i made a lot of friends via idv askblogs n its really been a joy vibing with others)

as for the idv scene. gestures around me. unfortunately there are a lot of ask blogs that arent that active anymore, but theres still some of us who are alive n kicking empty inboxes, n im sure everyone would love to see a new face around. winks at u. also there seems to be a lot more blogs popping up lately, which is really heartening to see.

then u kinda just. make ur blog? n a starting introduction post so ppl can reblog it n spread the word XD n yay u have a blog i guess??? XD

i gotta say tho. dont expect ur blog to take off immediately (especially for smaller fandoms like idv, tvbh i didnt think my blog would even get half this far when i started cos of how non existent idv tumblr seemed to be) n ur inbox will probably be looking pretty empty a lot of the time (or at least filled with some that u havent quite thought of how to reply to yet aha) (but also like empty inboxes happen pretty often, im sure most of us here have experienced this problem)

in the case of the first ask blog i ever started, it never really took off at all. ngl it was kind of demoralizing n depressing but to be fair i had picked one of the more obscure characters in the series, so obscure that many ppl in the fandom would have never heard of this character before. if u wanted to know, i took a character that only appeared in the 2nd musical of the series, who also made a very brief cameo in the manga to acknowledge his existence within that universe. thats how obscure my character was, but i went with him purely because he was my favourite character. i will say though i did enjoy it while it lasted n i learnt a lot from the experience, n i think thats whats important really.

i guess this kinda leads on (not really but let me digress) to the whole uhhhh thing where if u choose a more popular character, u get more attention. which is fine i guess? if u really vibe with the character, i mean theyre popular for a reason. n choosing a more popular fandom (like genshin) would objectively also get u more viewers n numbers. but like honestly i believe that ask blogs are meant for u to have fun with, n like trying to get popular gets tiring pretty fast (this shouldnt be like a main goal, but u know sometimes u subconsciously also want that gucci follower count n bomb ass notes or something. i used to be guilty of this until i realized it isnt worth it) especially if ur not enjoying yourself in the process. (case in point: my previous fandom was considerably larger n my blog got about 700 followers within a year or so, but it got very tiring n stressful to maintain after my interest in it died, n no one was really interacting with the blog even though i tried which kinda made it even more depressing despite the so called success n popularity of the blog)

anyway on a less serious note, theres a lot of fun stuff u can do with the ask blog, like some ask blogs have really fancy tags that i really like n try to do but also like not really HAHAHAHA. i kinda just channel what i want to see in an ask blog into my own ask blogs (good art is one, i try very hard for it to be good :,DD another is characterization, n others is just extra miscellaneous arts n stuffs like au ideas or memes. these are also somethings u could work on during ask box downtimes perhaps)

uhhh another side thing is like a posting schedule i guess? like ppl would be more likely to interact (i think) if ur blog is relatively active, n this is usually determined by the last post u made (i think XD). but like generally for blog maintenence id say try to kinda find a frequency that ur comfortable with?? cos i know my once a day posting is kinda insane if i wasnt so hyperfixated on all of this n fight the urge to dump all ur replies when u finish them XD (though ive seen some blogs do that n they do it pretty frequently so its pretty nice to know once u see their post u can spend some time going through the latest batch of posts XD) the queue function is pretty useful here even though i truthfully have never really used it, i kinda just post from my drafts really but it also helps to space out ur content to seem somewhat active especially when u dont have the time to be working on replies sometimes. i hope u know what im trying to say here aha

ANYWAY that was like my 1.5 cents cos i dont even think its worth 2 cents HAHAHAHAH these are just my thoughts from running all my blogs up till now, some that are still running n the others that have just died a natural death. i wouldnt actually delete them (theyre still around actually XD) cos theyre kinda like archives n i can look back at what i did last time. cos ngl i made some high quality stuff back then, n i dont even know how i managed to do that aldhflhdsgk. also ppl do look at archive blogs every now n then for the content thats there yknow

BUT YES anyway if u do decide to join the idv ask blogs hmu, ill be sure to give u a lil shoutout here. winks

#its me the mun #unconcerned ramblings #i know ive said that there are a lot of new blogs popping up #but uhhh i dont really dare to interact with them #considering they kinda did come in just when shit had hit the fan n idk i might have been known as The Problematic Blog tm #so i understand if ppl dont want to interact with me n im fine with it. so for now i wont be initiating anything #like dropping asks into inboxes unless i know the mun n theyre comfortable with me doing this #i will interact with everyone who drops by my inbox tho!!#i also tend to get to replies for other blogs faster than general replies cos i feel bad if i kept the other person waiting for too long #I DO forget about rp replies sometimes tho. sometimes #i try my best to get to every one of them tho. even when im kinda busy this period aha #also starting off is actually easy. its about maintaining thats difficult i feel #which is also why i havent done up a genshin ask blog yet HAHAHAHAHA #i really hate to give up on something ive already started when it comes to art projects so

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fbdo-ohyeaaaaah · 2 years

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first off, your tumblr is dah bomb - please know that you're carrying the ferris fandom on your back. the thought you put into your posts is incredible <3 I'd love to see an in depth sloane analysis post, especially considering how much of a fan favourite she is despite her little known background / childhood / future goals. do you have any hc's towards her home life and where you could see her post fbdo? or hc's for her in general? possibly including her zodiac, love language and fears - just desperate for any form of peterson content. would also be interesting to see someone explore the possible neurodivergency presented in the film, i don't know if this is me projecting but all three seem possibly nd and i love that!

thank you!!! thats very sweet of you to say and as always it gets to me when i see people enjoying my blog. honestly at this point im not trying to curate a fandom im just trying to have fun with this movie lol, but its nice you think that. oh and im so happy youre a sloane fan and do want people to delve deeper with her character, and i should be doing more of that too, but for now i can link you with a few posts on my blog i think you'll enjoy! mostly from my friend zoe who was like so passionate about the movie and sloane's character and making fbdo headcanons, she was an absolute talent at that seriously i love her posts to death (if ur wondering where you can find them theyre at her old blog @fbdo1986 , she's cooled down on making stuff for the movie recently but i know it still holds a special place in her heart. she currently runs a great 60/70s centered blog at @petecochrans)

a post full of great sloane headcanons

a great post centered on sloane and cameron's disability headcanons

couple of sloane headcanons from a love ask game

a few sloane headcanons from when i participated in that same love ask game

also if you want more canonical sloane content the perfect place to get it from is the original draft of the fbdo screenplay, which im sure were filmed because apparently the original cut of the movie is two and a half hours long so hopefully by some miracle that cut will someday be released. but for now youve got the script, which has SO many good sloane parts in it building up her character, that i wish at least some of was kept in the final product. honestly the script is a mixed bag for me, cause it has some unecessary and awkward bits im glad were cut out, but then there are bits that i really enjoyed that develop sloane's and even ferris' characters more, but on the other hand cameron's character is developed less than in the final movie, and the trio doesnt seem as tight-knit in the script depsite the additional dialogue. then there were a few moments that were needlessly innappropriate and crude (and problematic cause as much as i dont like using that word for how much its been saturated in its use recently its like. accurate here, and reflects some of the movie's problems.) . someday i'll delve into my opinion of it in an essay/post thing but i dont have time or energy for that right now lol, so if you want read the script for yourself and see what you think.

as for the neurodivergency, ive been tempted to talk about it even though im not sure if im neurodivergent, but while ive been suspecting for a while i am i dont think im enough of an authority to talk about it (especially if im not diagnosed). i have seen a stray post here and there of nds headcanoning sloane and cameron as autistic, and ferris as having adhd, which from what i know fits pretty well. you could even say fer has a makeshift stim toy, the rabbit's foot he keeps in his pocket. it's shown he's rubbing it when he's at the bottom of the taxi and nervous about his dad seeing him (he even hands it to cameron for comfort), he's swinging it on its chain when talking to sloane and cameron after the parade while waiting for the car, and again he's shown rubbing it when he's saying goodbye to sloane toward the end.

anyway thank you so much for the ask, hope the answer is satisying enough :)

#asks #fbdo #ferris bueller's day off #ferris buellers day off #my post #god this sure turned into something

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selfcareparker · 3 years

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LMAOO I WAS GONNA BRING UP FALCON AND THE WINTER SOLIDER BUT I WASNT SURE IF YOU WERE WATCHING IT HSKAJ (are you liking it? i know it’s only the first episode but ya know, another one tomorrow night- well tomorrow night for me, and did you like wandavision?? i loved it!!)

oh my goodness i’m watching lion king while writing this and i haven’t seen it in a while and i am..... emotional. but anyway, i love that streaming services think that imma pay for them while they charge $50 a month. like yes of course i have that kind of money and i am going to give it to you to watch tv 🙄 that $50 is budgeted to sims thank you. (ALSO SIMS!!! i’ll get to that in a minute) now see if i don’t google levidia right this minute LMAOO, not that i’m gonna use it.. just for the research...

AND HDKSHS SEND THAT CHAOS WALKING LINK LMAO i saw it for the third time with a different one of my friends and she wasn’t the best one to see it with? she literally was on her fucking phone and i was like ok whatever her loss not mine, and idk if you’ve read the books or if you’ve seen it by now, but by the end of the whole movie, after they’ve confirmed THE THING throughout the whole movie she asked the dumbest question and i’m like diD YOU NOT WATCH THE MOVIE, and i guess she didn’t. so. this sounds so vague but i don’t wanna spoil the movie for you just in case lol.

THE STORY LMAOO, so A DIFFERENT FRIEND LOL, like my oldest bff, we had a day together and we wanted to go see chaos walking. and i honest to God thought that no one would be seeing this movie. like NO ONE. every day, i checked the theater seating and no one was there right? plus i really wanted us to have the theater to ourselves. so we sit in the wrong seats, the row in front of us, STILL THINKING WE’RE ALONE. and then these 3 older people came in AND IM ABOUT TO SCREAM FHSJSH AND IM LIKE “are we in your seats?” and they we were like uh yeah, AND IT WAS SO BAD LMAOO , we’re moving and everything would’ve been FINE but my friend’s reclined seat was going down so slow and as it’s going shes LITERALLY SAYING ALOUD “awkward awkward awkward” so she thinks forget it, lemme just get up. HER BAG GETS CAUGHT ON HER CHAIR AND HER FRIES AND THEY SPILL ALONG WITH HER HONEY MUSTARD 😭😭 ALL OVER THE FLOOR! so i’m trying not to laugh lmao but those aren’t even our seats and we just made a mess, so naturally, i get on the floor and start cleaning it up with my napkins (this is going for too long) AND MY FRIEND IS STILL SAYING “awkward awkward awkward awkward” and i’m really abt to crack up bECAUSE LIKE SHUT UP HAHAHA and we’re cleaning it and shit and the oldest lady is gonna say “yeah you’re not gonna make an old lady get on the floor, are you?” AND I WANTED TO LAUGH AND SCREAM AT THE SAME TIME BC DID WE ASK YOU TO, NO, so then i had to get the manager and she helped us clean it, we got new fries and everything was fine, it’s just a crazy story bc LITERALLY WE COULDVE AVOIDED IT AND EVERYTHING BUT THESE ELDERLY PEOPLE HAD TO COME AND SEE THIS MOVIE😭😭 at least the gentlemen was nice.. he helped us clean. but then his wife was like “i aM nOt siTTiNg tHeRe” and at first i thought she was a teenager bc of her stink attitude but her husband was nice. and it’s not like we weren’t cleaning it up, we were!!! like i was so apologetic- anyway.

about sims! do you play console or pc? wait,, you already told me you play pc bc your computer was broken, i’m glad you can play now though :’)) litetally when i read in the tags that you’re playing sims !!!! and are you hyped for bunk beds? i have cc so i’ve had them for a bit, but they were glitchy... but i’m so excited we have them now! i should really play sims today...

GURL IM SO PROUD OF YOU 🥺🥲 i know you aren’t fluent in everything and you aren’t a linguistic genius LMAO but it’s still soooo amazing :’) here i am reading the captions while ur just going hahah, yea i tried duolingo but.... i didn’t stick to it HDJSH talking to you though makes me so interested because you know all these languages, not even studying them like that, but you have this foundation and ahh it’s just super cool. LOL YOU DONT SOUND LAME HAJA IM TELLING YOU ITS SO SO COOL, i’m loving this lesson btw oh my goodness- HSKAJS YOU THOUGHT I WOULD ALREADY KNOW THAT??? HDYSJHS MY ONLY ENGLISH SPEAKING ASS??? HAHAHAHHAH i find that word (Rindfleischetikettie- i’m not gonna write the whole thing i’m sorry) very interesting... like... wow. did you have to google that or did you just know lmao

OKAH THE WATER THING HDKDJDKS UR GONNA TERRIFY ME HAHAH OH MY LORD- first of all CROATIA 😍😍 but thinking about it like that, I WOULD FREAK OUT TOO HAHSGSG i never go that deep into the water, or if i do i have my dad with me lol and i kind of hold onto him bc ive seen/heard too many things about people being dragged into the sea. but i loveee the water (i wanted to be a mermaid soooo bad ohmigosh)

I DONT UNDERSTAND HOW ONE CANNOT LIKE MUSIC ITS AWFUL !! lmao yeah i haven’t even listened to harry’s his first album, everyone says they love it more. I WAS GONNA SAY IMMA LISTEN TO ONLY ANGEL BUT THE WAY YOU DESCRIBE IT HUHAHAH also i have never listened to anything by mgk (i actually had to google who he was IM SORRY😔) i’m tempted to listen tho lol PLEASE JUSTIN BIEBER- I PROMISE IM NOT LAUGHING AT U IVE JUSY NEVER HAD SOMEONE SAY THAT B4!! like i don’t know many people who’ve liked him bUT NOW IM GONNA LISTEN & the cardboard cutout- okay. 😭😭😭

oh my goodness to see the vamps live 🤧 TO SEE ANYONE LIVE PLEASE JJDGSHAHGD and little mix is so good oh my goodness- i actually haven’t been to that many concerts.. i was at my first one, elsie fest (it’s like a broadway thing really) in uhhh october of 2019, yea i took my mom for her birthday bc she loves darren criss and i’m obsessed with glee lmao OH MY GOODNESS YOUVE BEEN TO SO MANY!!! and those are such great artists 😩😩

LMAO UR FINE, hamilton is a musical that lin manuel miranda wrote and i think generally made? i’m obsessed, but basically it was on broadway and then recorded and put on disney+ ... idk i guess it counts a film bc it’s like a movie really cuz it was recorded but in what 2018 or 2016? i don’t remembers the date that is on disney+ but it’s strange how i got into it, a lot of my friends were obsessed and i was like uhh why? and while researching it and watching it, trying to figure out why people love it... i fell in love with it LMAO but the music is FANTASTIC and lin is incredible😭 but yes yes yes i loveeeee high school musical!! my dad actually took my cousins to see it on ice or something (i absolutely forget lmao) but i don’t know how people don’t know hsm. it upsets me.

OKAY IM DOWN TO THE BOTTOM HAHAHA (it takes me so long to respond, now i’m on lion king 2 WHICH IS SO GOOD PLEASE FHHSSHHSHSH) i could respond in chunks but i kind of enjoy responding like this? it feels a bit like a letter but if this whole thing is overwhelming i’ll cut it up lol

+ yes that was me about your fic and sleep and everything lol but it was so good😭 i don’t understand how you write peter so well like you have this ability to capture his.. everything? i’m crine. all the time. over your fics. & i cannot describe my happiness for youuuu :’) i’m so happy you’re writing again 🥺🥰 the thing about how you only want to write the long peter fic but you don’t know how to continue... i feel that so so so hard, i don’t think i told you but ughh i was so blah bc of that feeling of having pent up inspiration for only one fucking thing and not being able to write it. it’s so frustrating 😭

not to add more to this but i need to vent a bit? the situation is definitely different bc with your major it obviously requires for you to ya know, know english lol, but uhm bc i’m homeschooled ive been cheating on all my work SHSHDHSJ like i google the answers but i’m still learning! it’s just..... i find it so unnecessary, like going for an audition no one is gonna say to me “i want you to chanel the knowledge within yourself of the centripetal force of the circle that is the table on this stage” like tf??? there’s literally no point. i’m gonna be getting into voice lessons again soon and i’m already doing dance, AND i’ll be doing this summer camp program (more hamilton lol) and thinking about school is only making me stress more, like i haven’t been able to rehearse dance at all this week bc of it...... so

hahaha reading your tags, lonely anon would still be accurate HAHAHHAHA // another add: yea i love ur current theme, i’ve gotten used to “seeing you” like this, but anything will look super pretty :)) ALSO HOW IS IT STILL SNOWING THERE, i swear it’s getting warmer and warmer by the day here 😭🤧

these long ass posts, my gosh🥲 lonely lovely anon <3

Omg yes it does feel like a letter sldkdj and then the few days of waiting also make more sense okay i love this ❣️💕❤️💓❤️💞🧡💜💘(wtf)sksjhz

Dear lovely anon,

ALSKSJVKD yes i‘m liking falcon and winter soldier dlkdh i haven‘t watched the second episode yet but i‘ll watch it tomorrow! but i didn‘t watch wandavision........ eidislskks i was going to but idk i wasn‘t that interested in it and watching series is already too much of a commitment (what can i say i‘m a Sagittarius—🤧 (no i’m joking i actually know NOTHING about starsigns)) didjj that i couldn‘t force myself to watch it, ALSO i hate (idk if this is an unpopular opinion) when every episode is like a whole hour. i‘m rewatching an old series today (it‘s german so i won‘t even get into it) and the episodes are 25 mins each and i‘ve already watched 8 episodes today ridlndjdjd,,, and i feel like if the episodes were an hour each i wouldn‘t have gotten past episode 2 today like idk.... even if series had the same length in total, i prefer when the individual episodes are shorter idk why tho tbh (so yeah i already wasn‘t 100% convinced about watching wandavision so i just couldn’t make myself watch a bunch of 1hour episodes— i‘ve heard that it‘s good tho- but i‘m not much of a series person so. Dldkk (have we talked about this already??? sorry i don‘t remember what i said lol and i couldn‘t find my own post anymore so dkdjsh) (WAIT I JUST CHECKED THE WANDAVISION EPIOSRDES ARENT EVEN THAT LONG??? Okay wait i might watch it now - did you like it? let me know if i should watch it— why did i think they were 60minutes???)

okay another confession i‘ve never watched the lion king????? i mean i watched it when i was a child but i was too young to actually pay attention to any kind of plot i just liked the songs lol sldkdj i‘ve been meaning to watch it for years tho 🦁 (idk it just felt appropriate to put a lion emoji lmoaoo)

OH MY GOD THE CHAIS WALKING/CINEMA STORY AHSJSKKS😭😭😭😭 NOOOOO (very fitting that there was so much chaos when you were watching a film that has chaos in the title loool) and the “awkward awkward awkward“ SAME SKSKSLSKDJ, that‘s literally me 24/7 ahajshshhshshsh. Like i was so skdjdjdkdllsldksnsnsnsb while i read what you sent me djslslsjdjdbdn why are old ladies always so grumpy btw 🥲🥲🥲 at least the man was nice tho! and wait did i read that right... you have fries (which, to me, are called chips dusuusldk) at your cinemas?? (Movie theatres sorry sksjsh) we just have popcorn and nachos and drinks i want chips too when i‘m watching a film what😭😭🥺🥺🥺🥺

Also i still haven’t watched it so thanks for not spoiling it!!! (idk when i’ll watch it i’m so bad with films and even worse with series💀💀💀- same with cherry. i literally forgot all about cherry, i was SO hyped when the trailer came out like i’ve never been so excited about a movie... and then it came out... and i still haven‘t watch it like what‘s wrong with me???? Dkdjdjdjdklsl i feel like i‘m not gonna watch it anytime soon tbh, but i wanna watch chaos walking i just have to find the time

Okay and @ your other friend who wasn‘t paying attention like why are you even watching the film then???? but ok (omg this sounds so mean i‘m sure she‘s very nice but in this situation just like❔❔❔)

SIMS ahhh, BUNK BEDS, ahhhh sdljdjdjdkdkdldksj i actually haven‘t played it since the update 🤧🤧 i made both of my sims (enisa (bestselling author already, thank you) and michael (aspiring doctor)) go to university and bro it takes so long 😭😭 and you can‘t do anything else if you want them to do well so literally the last three times i played sims i was just constantly clicking their homework and computerd to write their assignments (i play it in german so idk what its called on the sims) and do their presentations and do them all over again so that they get better or whatever for HOURS, but imma play again soon

also i‘m living my fanfiction life loool, so i made my two sims neighbours (on the same plot tho but i made two small separate houses lol, i still wanted to control both of them at the same time but i made sure they didn‘t interact before i wanted them to skdjdjdk). and first they both experimented and got some experience in the love department you know (all genders, cause i have to live my sexuality even in a pc game slskdjh— wait, i‘ve never lived my sexuality irl like i‘ve done NOTHING nothing with guys nothing with girls (🥲) but maybe that’s why i want to do it even more in the sims) and then they met at uni and realised like hey we‘re neighbours and now they‘re together (but michael accidentally had an alien baby with another woman (who was an alien which i was not aware of) cause i wasn‘t paying attention like i said woohoo not try for baby like michael why is your pull out game so weak tf LSHDDHDJDJSKKDKSKDKS okay but making out and flirting and doing all the fun stuff in the sims turns me on way more than it should PFAHAHHAHSH) so idk why i told you this but I’m creating that neighbour!au in the sims lmaoooo

i did not have to google Rindfleischetikettierungsüberwachungsübertragungsaufgabengesetz (just did it again😌 sisjshhs) but i might have mixed up the words überwachung und übertragung or i might have even forgotten a word skskks but in the end it doesn‘t matter (by linkin park- ok i‘m so sorry it‘s 2 am and i have a headache from having waveformers in my hair all day but i still wanted to reply to this now so sorry if i‘m not making any sense right nowbahahshah)

i wanted to be a mermaid too dldjdksksj like h2O and all those series convinced me i could be one like. i remember i‘d always go in the deep pool and attempt to swim like them in all the series with that wave motion i must have looked so crazy with my goggles as well dkdjsksöksj (i was like twelve but still)

so mgk has two sides one is hip hop/rap which is like ~~~~ idk he has good and bad songs, but his latest album is like punk pop snd I LOVE IT SO SO SO SO SO MUCH, so if you like punk pop I’d recommend his album tickets to my downfall (i don‘t blame yoj if you don‘t like it tho like about a year ago i would have HATED that type of music dkdkdkkd)🥴

Okay talking about music, there‘s this german rapper and he is... not a good person. he‘s literally a criminal and extremely sexist but to me he‘s still hot???????? he‘s even cute at times even tho he has tattoos everywhere and is like 6‘5 and is super aggressive but i see him and i‘m like 🥺🥺🥺🥺🥺🥺🥰🥰🥰🥰🥰 my heart beats only for you💘💘💘💘and he released a new song today and i watched the video and i‘m wondering wtf is wrong with me 😃 (he did look particularly cute cause he was high so idk he wasn’t really aggressive in this one) 😭 so i thought i‘d share that LMAO IDK

(not saying tattoos aren‘t cute btw i LOVE tattoos imma get some soon, but you know he looks like someone your grandma would be afraid of (and in his case rightfully so💀)

okay wait i‘m getting so tired it‘s 2 am i think i‘ll have to do the rest tomorrow but i wanted to do it now😭🥺🥺 see you tomorrow

it is now 3:42 am and i couldn‘t sleep so here we go again

girl you can laugh at me for liking justin tho skskks i wanna laugh at myself idk, like i said i really really really liked him a few years go, basically my life was at least 50% justin and then he went on a break for a while and released an album last year which i hated 🥴 but this album is wow. (Still weird to me because it‘s literally the definition of pop and i don‘t ever listen to pop?) and it‘s so weird because i used to know so much about justin and had so many friends who loved him as well and now it‘s like I’m listening to someone new? Don‘t get me wrong i never KNEW justin and i never will and i‘m aware of that shahsh but yeah i used to be soooo used to him and it‘s like reconnecting with an old friend and you realise you don‘t know that friend anymore- like you don‘t know them anymore at all. I mean justin is weird nowadays 😂😂😂 so pls laugh at me tbh dskksjsjsh

awww it‘s so wholesome that you gave your mom tickets to the concert 🥺🥺🥺🥺 i gave my mum tickets for pink like 2 years ago and she loved it so much and i was like 🥰🥰🥰 (i went with her) AND OMG GLEE ok so unfortunately i barely remember glee, but i used to watch it too!!!! And it‘s actually on my list of series i wanna watch (again) so youre making me want to watch it even more (but like i said i‘m bad with series so 😩😩😩 who knows when i‘ll rewatch it)

When all this pandemic shit is over (let‘s be hopeful <3333) then you need to go to as many concerts as possible!!!!! i‘ve been to SO MANY and it‘s literally one of the things in my life i‘m the most grateful for, concerts are some of the best experiences i‘ve ever had in my life especially the ones that are in smaller concert halls where you can feeeel the vibe and everyone‘s energy (and that sounds awful thinking about it mid-pandemic 😐) anyway—

Okay omg you‘re absolutely making me want to watch hamilton right now like omg i WANT TO WATCH IT NOW but it‘s 4 am sodndkdldl

what you said about my peter fics🥰🥰🥰🥰🥰🥰🥺🥺🥺🥺🥺🥺🥺🥺🥺🥺🥺🥺🥺like omg i love these emojis they literally just describe how i felt when reading what you said so, yes, 🥰🥺 + thank you :) it really means a lot <3

and no omg i totally get the studying thing. like last year before i graduated .. was that last year? yes wtf omg okaykdjdj, so the last three months before i had my final exams we were just in a lockdown and we didn‘t even have online classes. We had nothing except one teacher who left our group chat (😭) because she was mad at us (?) and one maths teacher who did an online ““lesson““ once a week. he‘d ask: so does anyone have questions. us: . Him: okay, bye then. So. Yeah dndldldj. But we had one online test and it was in german and like i read the book wee were supposed to read? but the questions on the test were all unanswerable (is that a word?) and i had to google everything (got an A tho 🤪 but only because i googled everything so i was so scared that i wouldn‘t be able to get a good result on the final exam because what if i‘d gotten used to just googling everything and i couldn‘t do it by myself anymore? anyway it was all fine in the end but yeah at times i couldn‘t even study because i had so much anxiety about studying and yeah- like this whole annoying cycle. but you said you‘re still studying———- okay wait 👁👄👁 i forgot what i was going to say??????????????????????????????????????????????????? Like wtf. Is wrong with me? And i‘m reading what you wrote again and i just don‘t know what i was going to say? Like i get what you‘re saying obviously but i‘m like? Idk 4am brain ayeee, please vent more if you need to and elaborate further because right now i‘m???? Too dumb to respond to this right now wtf. I‘m so sorry lmao ddlkdjdjd what is even going on like i‘m sitting here open mouthed just like ? But btw the fact that you have Voice and dance lessons is like SO FUCKING COOL like oh my god that is sosososos cool wtf, i was thinking that when you first talked about it too

And “i want you to chanel the knowledge within yourself of the centripetal force of the circle that is the table on this stage” ODHDKSLDBDJDOFIDKDNDLDK

Yes i know about the weather dkdkdkjd but it‘s getting (a lot) warmer here too and where i live we kind of get a weird type of wind called föhn (which literally means hair dryer but idk if that‘d the reason why it‘s called that, i‘m too tired to think of whether it makes sense rn) and it gives me headachesssssss and the changing weather is also giving me headaches 😭😭😭😭 so this season right now is just headache season and i hate summer so i wish it would just snow again lmao (okay it‘s getting so late that it‘s early already snd i can hear this bird chirping so fucking loud wtf i‘m also getting a headache 🤧🤧🤧) but at least i can do my new theme soon (i hope it‘ll look good🥺 and omg thank you for what you said about my current theme- i always feel like i‘m so bad with aesthetics, i obviously like my theme but i feel like every single person on tumblr has a theme that is prettier than mine so it was very nice to hear you say that you love it👉🏼👈🏼 (i‘m so used to it by now that i actually hate it lmao so it‘s getting yeeted soon and i‘m making megan thee stallion my pfp 🤪 (if the graphics and shit works out skdjdjdj)

#lovely anon #<333 #okay its so late now i dont wanna post it now in case i‘m too tired to notice losds of mistakes #but i also wanna post it now so.#*loads #i‘m posting it #and i absolutely do not mind if you answer like this!!!! but if you ever do feel like it‘s too much or you uust want to respond to one thing #in particular sooner then pls go ahead! <3

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hhuta · 3 years

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Dhhdhsh yeah I'm the person who reblogged the place je passe gifset 😔😔 you didn't have to catch me out like that tho I was trying to be lowkey dbdbfbbdhdhdjdj

You like vixx?? Now it makes much more sense why I was following you and um leo... Friends with Korean salieri...... 👀👀👀 Is there. Is there any videos of the Korean production I kinda wanna see it 👀👀👀

I genuinely considered unfollowing on multiple occasions I'd just be like 'what the fuck is a salieri what is this' but I never did out of curiosity and it was like. I'd see florent on my dash and be like 'oh salieri person is having fun today good for them lol' like you just became a staple of my dash tbh dhdhdhsshhs

Don't even mention dm-ing mikelangelo to me!!!!! genuinely that's the sort of impulsive thing I'd do at like 5am and then regret for the rest of my life you're gonna give me ideas don't tempt me 😔😔

Listening to lbqfm 100+ times... Iconic of you dare I say. I personally am hoping to set a world record for 'most listens of place je passe' because like I am looping it constantly I listen to it between classes I listen while doing homework I sing it as I walk around the house if place je passe isn't reverberating around my skull then I'm not really living tbh

Also!! You seem really nice and cool and like! Genuinly thank you for getting me into mor THANK YOU I've been craving a new obsession and I've now found it thank god

kldjslkd wELLLLLL i cant help but read everyones tags !!!!!! i was going to talk to u even before u sent that ask but i got busy 😶but anyways here we are

and yes,,, they were even in musicals together before.... unfortunately theres no proshot of the korean production but u can find some videos here and here !

LKJDLKAJSKL WHAT THE FUCK IS REALLY A SALIERI... thats so powerful of him then... i get it tho sometimes my mutuals reblog stuff that ive no idea what it is and yet i could never unfollow! they are just happily doing their thing and i enjoy seeing it lkdjakls and "salieri person" is the best way i could be known as thank u

lkJDLKAS WHY WOULD U REGRET ITTTTT he still (re)posts mor stuff to this dayyy and is always interacting with fans u should totally give it a gooooo

thank u thank u and i fully support u in ur "most listens of place je passe" world record journey bc thATS A MOOD i loveeee that song toooooo she deserves the same love tatoue-moi gets!!!!!!! ur really not living unless u have a mor song stuck to ur head

🥺🥺🥺🥺🥺 thank u and ur welcome pls im so glad u found mor! it brings me so much joy so im happy someone else feels that too uwu

#im gonna go thru all the post u made about it now <3 lkdajsdlak #asks

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fortunemars · 3 years

Text

Also more art

I love the centrepiece of the green one but its too small to see like this so I'm gonna get a zoomed in piece for this post hehe hopefully tumblr let's you click on them so you can see everything djjdjsjs

I did these all super late last night bc I was having a time and wanted to draw psps I like these a lot tho I didnt like the alt version of the red that had the diamonds. I wanted to keep the vibe of the purple one with the swirls (tho that wasnt my favourite one either hense the plain background of it too djdjbshs) but it just didnt sit well. Maybe it was the shade of the body. Also notice the blue accents on the red 💕

Ps I hope none of the lines are actually symbols!! I wasnt thinking about that when I made these, I just drew lines that looked nice to me. I really hope I'm not doing something bad here :(

The purple ones???? So cool looking???? The purple parts that are detached from the main body were meant to be wings at first but lowkey this could be seen as smthn about body image (bc they arent connected but they are the same colour so it seems like someone who thinks their body is bigger than it is which is smthn I sort of deal with) but that wasnt the intent lol.

They were inspired by this

(Tiktok @/vonex20)

It gave me vibes (while also reminding me of the demons I see when I open doors at night).

Also when drawing these I was reminded of the "drawing my fears as ---" trend and like... its definitely vibes. The only good thing about the diamond red is that the over stimulation that it causes is exactly what I get when I move around at night.

Its very tempting to try to draw things more related to my paranoia psps it would be fun.

Heres one I forgot about but I drew it a bit ago 💕

This one is actually kinda related to my paranoia bc some of the images that flash through my mind are bloody teeth biting into chunks of flesh, but the blood is like neon red/pink/yellow/blue/whatever (it's different colours but they're always neon). I dont actually see images in my head when I try but when I sleep I dream very vividly. I can see some random flashes of pictures sometimes (thus that drawing). Idk why but they're always dark and neon. Like black background and just bright aggressive neon accents nd highlights.

Fun fact I have a hard time differentiating dreams and reality because my dreams are so vivid, but also bc my funky maybe sleeping disorder. I fall in and out of sleep ~10 times per chunk of sleep so my brain has a hard time figuring out if I'm still in my dream or if I'm awake. This affects my memory (the fact that ive forgotten 99% of my childhood doesnt help) and makes me think things that happened in realistic dreams are actual things that happen. Lmao it also isnt helped that I've been taking character's personalities and saying made up cool things about me my whole life so people would like me since I'm an army brat.

In conclusion bc this is long and no one actually cares bc i went way off point and probably lost some trains of thought.

Jdndbshsh hope yall enjoyed the art.

#art #neons #art related #mediggingintothepsycologicalecplainationsofmyarteventhoyalldontcaren

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milkie-yoongi · 4 years

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21 Questions Tag

yay i love these! especially because i cant go anywhere right now so imma try to find more! thank you @honeyvoicehwang for the tag :)

Name: starts w an S. read the about me section on my blog

Gender: female

Star Sign: pisces !!!!

Current Time: 1:15 PM

Favorite Artist(s): bts, bap, taeyang, song ji eun, eaeon, any OST artist tbh and theres lots more but im only listing the korean music ones

Favorite Song: sweet night - taehyung its just refreshing and sentimental i dont know how to describer

Song Stuck in Your Head: this one annoying song song by this lady i dont know that i keep hearing everyone dance to on tik tok because my friend keeps showing me can she stop tanks

Last Movie You Saw: in theatres? the star wars one, i love D-O i shouldve asked for that remote control robot for birthday i love dumb silly robot

Last Thing You Googled: “reddit” lol im looking for answers for lots of stuff rn

Other Blogs: nothing on here, one blog is enough to keep up with ehe

Main Blog: @milkie-yoongi

Do You Get Asks: i used to, now its rare but people be busy and im not consistently active so i get it, i love asks though please send some in esp at this time in life

Reason For Your URL: lol i don’t even know if there was a real reason behind it, i originally wanted to make a yoongi instagram fanacc but i liked tumblr more so i thought, why not make one there and just see how it does? it was only supposed to be for my personal entertainment and i didnt expect to meet so many wonderful people on here or for it to blow up as quickly as it did when i posted constantly. i didnt expect to be this invested in it either, but here i am today c: . i think i chose “milkie” as the first part of the name because i wanted a pastel/soft theme that was whitish/blueish and yoongi is baby to me and i associate that with that with “milk” and to make it flow better i just added “ie” then of course it was meant to be a yoongi blog so i added yoongi at the end because his name just as it is is beautiful.

Following: 193

Average Amount of Sleep: when im stressed or have to wake up early its around 5-6.5 hours (kinda like yoon yeh), and if i dont have to wake up early and am not stressed i sleep around 7-10 hours. i feel dead everyday though, how do people have energy?

Lucky Number: 13! idk, i dont believe in luck but 13 is a cool number and i always liked it!

Currently Wearing: why do you wanna know? some of these asks make me feel like im being interrogated by the fbi hahaaa but im staying at home today soo a black long sleeve with white small dolphin sillhouetes on the side and sleeves and black leggings. fun right?

Dream Job: at first i never had one, but now i realized i really want to work from home with my laptop. i dont mind what it is as long as i have fun doing it and that it lines up with my values, and i do have a few ideas regarding this, im not gonna put them out here so no one STEALS. because why work for someone else on someone else’s time when you can thrive the best doing what you like and taking advantage of the technology given? i know its gonna be a long road with lots of trial and error but thats what i really want so i can spend more time on what matters in life later on, like taking care of myself and being with family/friends! aside from online jobs though id love to be a piano teacher/piano accompanist because thats the only thing job wise that gives me joy right now.

Dream Trips: anywhere with good food :D right now definitely korea, japan, new zealand, the more nature-y islands in hawaii, anywhere in europe, probably more places but i cant think of any right now. also ive only been on an airplane once in my life!

Favourite Foods: anything with white rice it just makes eating so much easier and enjoyable. meats. seafood like the ones at the restaurants where they give you the bibs which i do not wear and they dump the lobster shrimp and crab and corn all over the table and you can just eat it however you want.

Play Any Instruments: pianopianoapinaoooapinaooapianoo! i used to play violin too in middle and HS but it made my head and jaw hurt and it was gross to me at the time i could not play in tune and i ate in orchestra class all the time instead of paying attention maybe thats why i got worse as i got older, but thats okay because with pianos you dont need to worry about playing in tune but im tempted to pick the violin up again and maybe even try viola...because violas are better i dont care what violin nerds have to say :P

Tagging:

@smolshooky @jincendio @yosunyoongi @heyitsminyoongi @yoongisugameow @xbabyboysx @cpt-falcon @roseghostly @kpoplittleheadcannon @shin-kun1995 @weezbelyse @blackzwaan-yoongi @minsugas-ass @sunshines-babie @agustkeys

if you see this but arent tagged, feel free to do it anyway!

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t0ngue-tech · 5 years

Text

Deadline | Three

“Without saying a single word, you emerged turned around and reached out to wrap your arms around Jungkook’s torso. He stumbled a bit before finding his footing. You knew you caught him off guard because it took him a few seconds before he snaked his arms underneath your hair to secure them around your neck.

‘U-Uh--’ Jungkook stammered.”

↠fluff, angst, highschoolAU, fakerelationshipAU↞

word count: 7.4k

↠series: 1 | 2 | 4 | 5 | 6 | ↞

A/N: HI GUISE OMG IT’S BEEN SO LONG HASNT IT, BUT HERE I AM!!!! ive honestly been working on this since finals and even when finals finished, i hit a writer’s block. then, all of a sudden i was hit with a rush of motivation and this is the outcome huhu. i hope you all enjoy!!!!

The clock ticked endlessly on and on as the students of your history class were in disarray. Usually everybody would be working with their partners on the history project, but a substitute teacher sat at your teacher’s desk instead; this meant a free period.

Jennie sat with you, huddled in a corner of the classroom catching up on other work for another class. You assisted her with whatever she needed while also proofreading a paper from your AP English class.

“Are you sure you don’t want to sit by Jungkook?” Jennie whispered.

Your eyes darted across the room and spotted Jungkook with his head down on the desk, buried within his arms.

“Yeah, I’m sure.” You brought your attention back to your paper.

“You do know that two of Chaeyoung’s goons are in this class, right? They’re probably going to tell every single detail about you and Jungkook that happens here.” Jennie leaned in closer to keep her voice at a hushed whisper.

Jennie did have a point, but despite that, you stayed planted in your seat. You were used to having Chaeyoung’s friends’ eyes glancing at you from time to time in class but ever since the night in the diner parking lot, they’ve been watching you like a hawk. It was a bit concerning.

The substitute reminded everyone that the sign-in sheet was at the front of the class and to straighten out the desk before leaving. Before the bell rang, Jungkook awoke from the sound of the desks scraping against the tile floors. He stretched out his limbs and lazily threw his backpack over his shoulder.

As soon as the bell rang, the students stampeded towards the door and Jennie bid you adieu. Jungkook glided across the class to where you were, still putting papers in their correct folders. He held your water bottle and phone in one hand, patiently waiting for you to get situated. When you finished adjusting your bag on your bag, he silently reached for your hand and slid his fingers in between yours. It’s been roughly two weeks and you still weren’t used to the feeling of holding his hand.

“I’ve never seen you look this tired.” You spoke over the rush of students in the hallway.

Jungkook yawned deeply and shook his head to wake himself up a little. “I’ve had three consecutive late night training and it’s been a while since I’ve done this.”

“Do you have a fight coming up?”

“Next month, but I need to make weight and train as much as I can so I have a lot of work to do.” He explained.

“Hm,” you hummed. “I guess this means you have to cut back on the fries.”

Jungkook dropped his jaw slightly. “Oh my god, you’re right.”

Since the two of you started this fake relationship, Jungkook always walked you to your fourth period. He didn’t mind being a few minutes late to his class because his teacher was “cool.” It worried you a little, but he stressed that it was really no big deal.

“Do you have a meeting after school?” Jungkook stationed you against the wall near your classroom to let other students pass through.

“I just have to drop off a few folders to the club classroom and then I have to pick up a package for my mom at the post office right after.” You reached for the items Jungkook held for you and he gave them back to you with ease.

“Alright, I’ll see you tomorrow then. I’m gonna head straight home after school to sleep before my practice tonight.” Jungkook sighed as he enveloped you into a tight hug. The hug lasted roughly a minute and just before he let go, it felt as if he placed a soft kiss to the top of your head; unless that was his chin bumping against you because of how tall he was compared to you.

You were used to seeing Jungkook with an abundance of energy and seeing how physically exhausted he was now worried you a lot more than it should have. Instead of focusing like how you usually did, you spent the entire class period looking up different kinds of foods that boxers could eat while trying to make weight. A lot of the information you found were similar lists of light proteins and reminders to watch the sugar and fat intake.

A lightbulb went off somewhere inside of your head and you were now creating a small shopping list in the notes section of your phone. This wasn’t your problem, but somehow you felt compelled to support him. Maybe it was the title of being his “girlfriend,” who knows.

↠↞

You [3:04]: hi mom, i just picked up your package and i’m heading to the grocery store. let me know asap if you need anything

When you arrive at the grocery store parking lot, your mother replied with a short list of a dozen eggs, cherry tomatoes, and a bag of salt and vinegar chips.

“Ground turkey...ground turkey...ground turk-ah.” You dropped the package of lean meat into your shopping cart.

You never tried cooking any of the dishes you had bookmarked on your phone, so your nerves were shaking inside of you. There was a lot more options that weren’t as complicated, but of course, you didn’t want to settle with that.

It never occurred to you that there was a possibility you could poison Jungkook just before his boxing match. This thought made you want to put everything back on the shelves, but you also thought about how tired Jungkook looked today and it gave you some strength to follow through with your plan.

“Ooooh, mama y/n. Making dishes for your man.”

On your way home, Jennie called you to talk for a bit before she took her sister to her dance lesson. You filled her in with your plan to make a few meals for Jungkook so he can keep his energy up and Jennie was elated.

“Jennie, calm down. He’s not my man. I’m just trying to better a good...person? For him?” You pulled up to your driveway and disconnected your phone from your car. “Am I taking this role too seriously?”

“Sigh, y/n. You’re doing exactly what you need to do.” Jennie explained in your ear. “This is going to help you feel more like a girlfriend-girlfriend for him! I’ve seen you hang out with him at school and I can tell you’re still awkward with this whole thing.”

You shuffled into your house with your bags of groceries dangling from your arms and your phone tucked in between your shoulder and ear. “I’m still trying to get used to him, okay? You still have a point, but I might kill him.”

Jennie laughed in your ear and sighed. “That’s okay!”

Your mother waved at your from the kitchen counter and rushed over to help you with your bags.

“I’ll let you know how it goes, bye! Love you!” Just like that, you hung up before Jennie could say anything else.

You remembered that you didn’t tell your mother about Jungkook and you weren’t ready to confront her about him yet.

“How was school, y/n?” Your mother glided over to help you unload your bags.

“It was fine—it’s okay mom, I got this, you can continue with whatever you were doing.” There was a tinge of panic in your voice which didn’t sound as convincing as you wanted it to be.

Your mother lifted an eyebrow and reached in to grab her bag of chips. “Okay, honey. Just uh, don’t forget to put the eggs in the fridge.”

It took a few minutes for your mother to leave the kitchen because she rummaged through the fridge to retrieve a bottle of iced tea to have with her chips. She sat down at the dining table where her laptop was set up as well as a stack of papers.

You silently moved around the kitchen to put certain foods inside of the fridge and laid out a cutting board and other cooking utensils. The first order of business was to wash the lettuce and other vegetables you were going to use.

“Let’s see, lettuce wraps…” After rinsing the vegetables, you tied an apron around your waist. “Season the ground turkey with salt…” You whispered the instructions to yourself and carefully measured the spices and dropped them into the bowl with the ground turkey. It was such a delicate process and you wanted to get everything right on the first try because besides preparing him a few meals, you wanted to surprise him during his training tonight.

To an extent, you knew your way around the kitchen. You could easily whip a meal for yourself that could be done with minimum ingredients, but you weren’t skilled enough to create detailed meals meant for others to eat. This was one of those cases.

You were tempted to ask your mother for assistance because she cooked more often than you did. It wouldn’t hurt to do so, plus you could easily say that the food was for yourself.

“Mom…?” You called out quietly.

Your mother hummed and typed away at her keyboard.

“I may or may not need help.”

She stood up from her chair to take a glance at whatever you were doing. All of your ingredients were sprawled out all over the island in the kitchen. Everything was in disarray and your mother chuckled at the chaos.

“And what in the world are you making?” Your mother closed her laptop and strolled over to the mess of vegetables and packages of meat.

“I—uh, I’m making a whole bunch of shi—“ you stopped yourself from completing your sentence. “Stuff. A whole bunch of stuff.”

You barely started the cooking process and you already felt defeated. It was in your nature to figure things out and handle things on your own, but this was cooking for another party so you needed all the help the universe could give you.

“Okay, well, what exactly are you making y/n?” Your mother asked while tying on her own apron.

“Ground turkey lettuce wraps, roasted vegetables, sweet potato fries, and some sort of protein bowl with these chicken tenders, and a lot more stuff.” As you listed your menu, your mother stared at you suspiciously. “What?”

“Nothing, I just—I didn’t know you had such a healthy diet that’s all.”

There were two reasons why you felt yourself sweating: 1) prepping ingredients was tough work and 2) you hated lying to your mother.

“Yeah, I just wanted to try something new, you know? Gotta stay in shape somehow someway.” You let out a nervous chuckle and your mother stared at you, unconvinced.

It took a few seconds before your mother scaled the island to stand next to you. She eyed out the mess in front of you and sighed.

“You know, y/n,” she began and you swallowed the lump in your throat. “When your father was still alive, I used to prepare a lot of meals for him just like this because he always left for work before the sun came up.”

You knew exactly what your mother was trying to tell you and yet you still hesitated.

“I may be going out on a limb here, but is this for that boy who dropped you off back home a few days ago?”

Right on the money.

It only took a matter of seconds plus the piercing gaze coming from your mother to crumble and nod your head. You had no problem in confining in your mother with absolutely anything, but this was painful for you to do. Despite what you told Jungkook, the reason why you didn’t tell your mother about your “relationship” is because it was only temporary. She had just witnessed you sulk throughout the entire summer and you didn’t want to burden her a second time by telling her that you and Jungkook “broke up.” Keeping the relationship a secret would have been hard work but you had to do what you had to do.

“You saw him?” You asked quietly.

She nodded her head and pulled out an extra cutting board from one of the compartments in the island. “I was repotting some of my flowers at the side of the house and when I got up to stretch, I saw you two through the gate; he opened the door of his car for you.”

For the record, you and Jennie both bet that your mother was going to say something within the first week.

“Uh, y-yeah. His name is Jungkook.” The smile that appeared on your face happened on an impulse.

You proceeded to tell your mother the forged story Jungkook came up with and also mentioned that you known him since elementary and that he was your partner for a history project.

“Wait, is this the same Jungkook who put the gum in your hair?” Your mother exclaimed with a laugh.

“That’s—That’s the one.” The bitter memory of having to cut your hair just below your shoulders flashed in your head. You also remembered the moment when Jungkook’s mother showed up the next day to pick him up from school and made him apologize again. She also gave you a ziploc of powdered brownies because of how terrible she felt.

“Wow, what a small world, huh?” Your mother smiled fondly at you. “Y/n, you know that I don’t want you hiding this kind of thing from me. You can trust me.”

It truly broke your heart hearing her words. If it was already difficult admitting the relationship, you knew you were going to suffer when the deadline would occur.

“I know, mom. I’m sorry.” You replied sadly.

She patted your back and grinned. “Don’t be sorry, honey. Now let’s get this chaos in order because first and foremost, you should always prep all of your ingredients first.”

Cooking took a lot longer than you expected because of your lack of skills. It was a trainwreck, but your mother managed to assist you in making a few days worth of meal prep for Jungkook. Even though you burnt your fingers on the pans from roasting the vegetables in the oven, you were satisfied with the outcome.

“Hopefully Jungkook isn’t going to die.” You sighed.

Your mother pulled out a reusable bag from the cupboard and neatly stacked the tupperwares inside.

“He’s going to be fine, y/n. I taste tested your food and it tastes fine. Just be sure to tell Jungkook that I’m going to be needing my tupperware back.” She instructed.

You nodded and mentioned that you were going to use her car because your keys were in your room which was “too far” for you.

As you boarded the driver side of her car, you sighed deeply thinking about if this was too much of a gesture. Giving someone food is one thing but making a home cooked meal was another.

“It’s fine, y/n. It’s fine. It’s just food, it’s not like your kissing him or something—okay wait, no. Just shut up and drive.” You muttered to yourself and started the engine.

↠↞

The gym that Jungkook trained at was about a fifteen to twenty minute drive from your house which meant it was most likely closer to his house. It was no secret where Jungkook trained, plus you had him on almost all of your social media platforms so you saw parts of what the gym looked like.

When you pulled into the parking lot, you spotted Jungkook’s car easily because of how bare the lot was at that time of night. You had time to abort your mission, but you found yourself stepping out of your vehicle and grabbing the bag from the passenger seat.

Entering the gym, there was a strong stench of overused body spray mixed with the tiniest tinge of sweat. There were a few people still using the exercise equipment and a few boys and girls working with a trainer. You took a couple of more steps inside and you easily spotted Jungkook sparring with his coach in the boxing ring towards the left wing of the gym. You approached the surrounding area cautiously, not wanting to distract Jungkook from his training.

You watched Jungkook take forceful jabs to the sparring equipment that his coach was holding. The sound of his boxing gloves hitting his coach’s punching mitts was intense, almost making you flinch with each punch. With the headgear blocking majority of his face, it was still clear it was Jungkook because of his strawberry blond hair.

From where you were standing, you could hear his coach tell him to take a break for a bit. He helped Jungkook remove his mouth guard and boxing gloves. Jungkook took off his headgear and ran a hand through his sweaty hair. He quickly glanced in your direction and took a double take just as quick. Jungkook climbed out of the ring and you met him half way as he wiped down his body with a towel.

“Hey, uh, this is a nice surprise.” Jungkook chuckled.

“Hi.” You said blankly. You didn’t realize you were spacing out until Jungkook waved his hand in front of your face. “I come bearing gifts.”

Before handing him the bag, Jungkook offered you a seat at a bench nearby. He sat down a couple of inches away from you, apologizing that he probably smells disgusting and is drenched with sweat.

“I couldn’t shake the thought of you being exhausted all day and you also mentioned that you had to make weight. So I took the liberty to meal prep you some food.” You explained and handed him the bag.

Jungkook smiled at you with a shocked expression and peered inside of the bag. He rummaged through the tupperware that were labeled with post its.

“Y/n, I--I don’t know what to say, thank you so much.” He couldn’t erase the smile from his lips and opened up the tupperware that contained a thick turkey wrap that was cut into two. There was also a batch of roasted sweet potatoes, parsnip, and red bell peppers stuffed inside. “Did you eat dinner yet?”

Well shit. You were so focused on cooking for Jungkook that you haven’t even eaten anything since that afternoon.

“N-No, I haven’t.”

“Great! No, not great but, wanna stay for about ten more minutes? I’m gonna do one more session and I want to share this with you.” Jungkook closed up the tupperware and stood up.

You were worried that Jungkook felt hesitant about eating the food you made yourself; with the help of your mother of course. But he looked extremely excited about asking you to eat with him that saying no didn’t seem like an option.

“Yeah, I’ll stay.” You answered sweetly.

“Okay, just sit tight.” He spoke, practically skipping all the way back to the boxing ring.

Before getting started, Jungkook and his coach exchanged a few words and peeked over Jungkook’s shoulder to wave at you. It was most likely he introduced you as his girlfriend; it was still a weird title to have under your belt.

It was exhilarating watching Jungkook in the ring. You didn’t mean to stare, but you found yourself gawking at his biceps that were glistening under the fluorescent lights. You remembered Jungkook being scrawny back in middle school and freshman year. Then all of sudden, he grew taller, gained muscles, and gained the habit of dying his hair often. Honestly, he had always been adorable but you never saw Jungkook in that way, ever. It was difficult to admit, but he looked attractive in his element.

That was it though. Just attractive.

The ten minutes flew by in a blink of an eye. He politely asked you to wait for another five minutes because he wanted to wash up before sitting in close proximity with you for the second time. Just like those ten minutes, the five minutes passed just as quickly. Jungkook came out from another room, waddling with his drenched hair bouncing everywhere and his duffle bag swinging from his side. He gestured you over to exit the gym which you were thankful for. The overwhelming smell of the body spray started to give you a headache.

↠↞

“Are you sure you want to share this with me? I made this for you, Jungkook.” You questioned as you sat on the parking block in the empty parking stall next to Jungkook’s car.

Jungkook tossed his duffle bag into the backseat of his car and proceeded to sit next to you. He changed into a dark gray track suit and still had water dripping from the ends of his hair.

“Yeah, I’m sure. I always drink some protein after training and that’s going to fill me up pretty well. You can have the other half of this wrap since you didn’t eat yet—oh fuck, my blender bottle.” He retreated back to his car and retrieved his blender bottle that already had a measured amount of protein powder and a bottle of water. “Have you made one of these before?”

You shook your head and he handed you both bottles and just as you were making his meal prep, you felt like you were going to ruin his protein.

“You see this line here? 12 ounce? Fill the blender up to there, close it tightly and then shake as if your life depended on it.” He instructed.

The instructions were simple and yet you still continued to second guess yourself over something so trivial. You did as you were told and as you shook the bottle, Jungkook laughed at the strained look you had on your face.

“Hey! Cut me some slack. I don’t shake protein on a regular basis.” You abruptly stopped the motion and Jungkook continued to laugh whilst pleading for forgiveness.

“I’m sorry, I’m sorry, it’s just--” Jungkook still failed to stifle his laughter. “Your face---” He took the bottle from your hands and imitated the look of your eyes screwed shut and your lips pursed closely to your teeth. Jungkook’s expression caused a burst a laughter to rise out of you and playfully shoved him off of the parking block.

“Just eat your food, Jeon!” You chuckled.

Jungkook recovered from him fit of laughter and proceeded to take the lid off the tupperware. Your fingers trembled as he handed you the other half of the wrap. While your eyes held the gaze of anxiety, he had the gaze of astonishment mixed with hunger.

“So, what’s in it?” He asked whilst examining the wrap.

“Uh, turkey breast slices, yellow bell pepper, spinach, tomato, and hummus.” As you explained, Jungkook lifted the wrap closer and closer to his mouth.

The deafening silence between the two of you as Jungkook bit and chewed was astounding. Your throat had gone dry and it felt as if your half of the wrap was going to slide out of your hands.

Jungkook abruptly stopped mid-chew and looked at you with his eyebrows knitted together. Your eyes turned into moons as you felt your heart break piece by piece.

“Y/n…” Jungkook mumbled slowly.

You swallowed the lump in your throat, trying to prepare yourself for the rejection of your food. However, you did expect it.

“This is fucking delicious.” He said in pure bliss. “I don’t ever eat anything like this, but holy shit, this is amazing.”

The disappointed look on your face twisted into a confused facial expression. “Really?! Are you sure?”

“Try it.”

Even after your mother’s approval and Jungkook’s compliment, you were still hesitant in taking a bite. Jungkook gestured at you to try the turkey wrap as he took his own bite.

You took a breath and proceeded to follow through with the action. After chewing for a bit, you came to the realization that, “wow, okay, this isn’t bad.”

“See?! It’s great!” Jungkook gave you a pat on the shoulder. “Why were you so nervous about it?”

“It’s because the only people I’ve ever cooked for are my mom and Jennie.” You explained. “I make the most basic things ever, so you know, of course I’d be nervous making you something that I made.”

He nodded his head and reached for one of the vegetables in the tupperware. “Well, I really appreciate it, y/n—for doing this, I mean. You didn’t have to.”

“I know.” You sighed. “I wanted to.”

Jungkook smiled at you with his cheeks puffed out from the food that he stuffed inside. You felt compelled to poke one of his cheeks, but you fought it because bringing him food was already as “intimate” as you could get.

You still found it hard to make the first move to hold Jungkook’s hand in school or even hook your arm with his. He always initiated skinship first which you were grateful for because you were obviously too chicken to do it yourself.

“So,” You started after swallowing another bite of the turkey wrap. “I uh--my mom, she uh, you know, knows.”

Jungkook stopped midway through his bite and stared at you with concerning eyes. “What happened?”

You began to tell the tale of your mother’s smart instincts. Jungkook’s cheeks flushed for a moment.

“She remembers you as the kid who put gum in my hair.” You gently nudged his shoulder and he snorted at the memory.

“Ah, yeah, I remember that. My mom got so mad at me.” He sighed and flicked at a lock of your hair with clean fingers. “Sorry about that, by the way.”

You envisioned the eleven year old version of Jungkook who “stealthily” stuck a wad of gum in your hair but tripping over someone’s backpack while trying to flee.

“It’s alright.” You chuckled and put your hand up.

Jungkook quickly finished the rest of his wrap and chugged half of his protein shake. “You want to try some? It’s chocolate.”

You hesitated at first, only because you had that split second thought of sharing an indirect kiss with him.

I need to stop watching anime.

After what seemed to be forever, you reached out and took a swig from his protein bottle and scrunched your nose.

“It tastes like...grass.” You shuddered and smacked your lips, still tasting the chocolately-grass flavored protein on your tongue.

Jungkook laughed sharply and escaped to grab another water bottle to give to you out of his duffle bag. “Yeah sorry, it’s a vegan protein. You get used to it when you drink it often.” He offered you another sip which you declined with a sour facial expression.

Your brain sifted through the thoughts that were racing inside of you and you thought about whether or not Chaeyoung was used to the taste of Jungkook’s protein flavor. You wondered if she ever gave him a home cooked meal or if she randomly showed up at the gym while he was training.

Duh. Of course she has y/n. She was his girlfriend.

You weren’t trying to compare yourself to Chaeyoung, but he did date her for three years which meant he was accustomed to random acts of flirtatious banter and actions. On the other hand, you were also used to those things but with Sehun, not Jungkook. It never really occurred to you before, but you wondered why he never hesitated to show public displays of affection to you; his breakup with Chaeyoung was just as “recent” as yours and yet it almost seemed like a second nature for him.

Just this once, maybe it wouldn’t hurt to ask.

“Hey Jungkook,” you began softly waiting for a signal from him to continue your words. “How is it so easy for you to do this?”

He tilted his head and pointed to his blender bottle. “Do what? Drink my protein?”

“No.” You chuckled. “I don’t know, pretend to be in this relationship with me. Pet names, holding my hand, you know, the works.”

Jungkook stretched his legs out in front of him and took a deep breath. “Honestly,” he started. “It isn’t easy.”

You raised an eyebrow. You weren’t expecting this answer at all.

“For three years, I’ve only affectionately held one girl’s hand and called only one girl babe or whatever. It’s all I’ve ever known--routine, you know. So, jumping right into something new terrified me a little, but I knew I had to be confident about this so Chaeyoung could finally leave me alone.” Jungkook explained.

This was probably one of the most serious moments you ever had with Jungkook. While you always made it known that you weren’t used to PDA with Jungkook, he remained confident with every move he made that you never suspected him to feel the same way as you did. It was honestly impressive.

Also, Jungkook was right. He had to do this in order for Chaeyoung to finally get off his back. Although you held his hand in the hallways and hugged him whenever he initiated it, Chaeyoung and her lackeys could probably tell from a mile away that there was something suspicious just from the look in your eyes; a woman’s intuition.

If you put as much effort as Jungkook did in the beginning, then maybe this whole thing would be over much quicker. After all, that was the stipulations of this fake relationship: it would last until Chaeyoung gives up. You also had a hidden goal embedded in this relationship which was to make Sehun jealous. Selfish? Yes. Did you care? A little.

You left the conversation as that and carefully eased into a different subject. Jungkook never questioned your question, he just casually followed your lead.

You decided to spend another ten minutes with Jungkook before deciding to head home; it was still a school night. Jungkook tidied up the backseat of his car to make proper room for the bag of meal prep so it wouldn’t fall over while he drove.

“By the way, am I still picking you up tomorrow morning?” Jungkook asked taking the bag from you.

“Yeah, if you still want to.” You gave yourself a few more seconds before continuing. “My mom actually starts a little later than normal tomorrow, so if you want to come out to say hi then..”

Jungkook took a noticeable breath and rubbed the back of his neck. “Yeah, yeah. I’d love to say hi. I’ll stop by the usual time.”

You nodded your head and waited for Jungkook to ready himself to get into the driver’s seat. Instead, he shut the backseat door and gestured you your car. You cocked an eyebrow and spun around on your heel with Jungkook walking closely behind you.

“New car?” He asked.

“No, my mom’s.” You unlocked the car and just as he’s done every single time, Jungkook moved ahead of you to open the car door. You placed your phone into one of the cupholders and opened the middle console to double check if your wallet was still there.

There was a voice inside your head screaming at you to turn the fuck around and give Jungkook a hug or at least a high five. You hesitated because it’s what you do, but the voice grew louder and louder until your thoughts boiled over.

Without saying a single word, you emerged turned around and reached out to wrap your arms around Jungkook’s torso. He stumbled a bit before finding his footing. You knew you caught him off guard because it took him a few seconds before he snaked his arms underneath your hair to secure them around your neck.

“U-Uh--” Jungkook stammered.

This was your cue to release him and you did just that.

“Drive safe.” You playfully swatted his chest, making him flinch and then sliding into your mother’s car.

“You too. Drive safe.” Jungkook closed the car door and before he shifted his body, you caught a glimpse of a smile on his face. You started the engine and rolled the windows down. Jungkook turned back around to you and you waved him off so he could go to his car. He also waved goodbye and you waited until he got into his car before you pulled out of the parking stall.

The hug you gave him was going to be the first of many that you were going to initiate first. You promised yourself to actually act like a girlfriend for once. Hugs were a bit on the easy side for you because you didn’t need to look at him while doing it. Little by little, you were going to push yourself to initiate PDA towards Jungkook. Sehun would get jealous, Chaeyoung would officially call it quits with Jungkook and then everything would go back to normal.

↠↞

You loved it whenever your mother started later in the mornings. This meant you could sit at the table with her and chat before heading to school. It was rare for her to be home before you went to school because even on her days off, she would catch up on some sleep.

It was a quiet Wednesday morning and you were enjoying a plate of waffles drizzled with maple syrup and dusted with powdered sugar. Your mother sliced you up a few strawberries and poured you a nice tall glass of orange juice. Whenever she prepared a decent size breakfast like this, it reminded you of your childhood; breakfast with your parents on a typical Sunday morning with you begging your father to add whipped cream to your waffles and your mother nagged at you to not pile on more sugar on your breakfast. There wasn’t a lot of memories stored in your headspace, but you cherished them all.

“So that’s what you were working on yesterday.” You forked a slice of your waffle into your mouth.

“Yeah. I don’t know why the head honcho decided to move the meeting today on such short notice.” Your mother spoke from the kitchen, spooning another serving of the batter into the waffle maker. “At least I finished it, but I might be coming home an hour or two late because today’s schedule got completely rearranged.”

Nowadays, it was not uncommon for you to be home alone or alone until late hours of the night. Over the years, your mother worked hard and became head of her department in the office. By the time you were a sophomore, she went on a few business trips that left you home alone for a few weekends. You had to admit, it was a bit lonely at times, but you were extremely proud of her accomplishments.

Your phone vibrated against the hardwood of the dining table with a surprising text message from Jungkook.

[6:53] jeon kook: Outside

Your fork clattered on top of the plate and you bolted towards your driveway, disregarding your mother’s question.

“I thought the usual time meant 7:15?” You questioned Jungkook as he stood at the passenger side of his car, flattening out his shirt and ruffling his hair. He nonchalantly opened his car and pulled out a drink carrier that held three drinks.

Your eyes grew wide and your jaw dropped slightly.

“What--What is going on?” You asked suspiciously.

“Iced hazelnut latte for you and two orange-mango iced teas because I don’t know how your mom takes her coffee.” Jungkook explained holding up the carrier and shutting the car door.

“O-Okay.” You stuttered, still confused as to why he was doing this. “Let’s go in then.”

As the two of you walked up the pavement, you suddenly remembered this would technically be the first time he’s been in your home; the one time during elementary didn’t count because it was for your birthday party. Jungkook would be stepping into your home as your “boyfriend” and it was nerve wracking. Was your mother going to embarrass you? Were you going to embarrass yourself?

“Mom!” You called out, almost hesitant to let Jungkook inside. “Jungkook is here.”

You stepped out of the way to let Jungkook in who was struggling to kick hi shoes off before entering.

“H-Hi! Good morning Mrs--”

“Oh just call me ‘auntie’, Jungkook. It’s alright.” Your mother always instructed your friends to call her ‘auntie’ while Jennie called her ‘mom’.

“A-Auntie..” Jungkook repeated with a small smile. “I’m sorry to drop by on short notice.”

“It’s no problem. Have a seat and have some breakfast before you two head out.” At your mother’s words, you flashed her wide eyes. Even if this was all apart of the relationship package, you only prepared yourself for them to exchange greetings not have an entire conversation over breakfast.

“I don’t know how you take your coffee--or if you even like coffee, so I got you an orange-mango iced tea.” Jungkook took a few steps forward, nervous to enter the kitchen. You gave him a gentle push and he glided across your wooden floor to hand over her beverage.

“Oh, Jungkook, thank you.” She traded the drink with a plate of waffles for him to indulge in.

As he walked back towards you, you gave him a reassuring “okay” sign with your fingers. Jungkook seemed to want extra “good-boyfriend-points” and he seemed to be on the right track.

↠↞

Breakfast with your mother went surprisingly well.

One of the first things Jungkook said was an apology for ruining your hair and with a full hearted laugh, she forgave him. Your mother asked about school and shockingly, he didn’t quite lie about his academic performance. He expressed his struggle to focus in class sometimes and he was glad to have you tutor him from time to time. Nothing embarrassing, nothing too cringey, everything went exceptionally well.

Your mother thanked Jungkook for picking you up and also thanked him once again for the iced tea as you two were preparing to leave. She even witnessed him open the car door for you. You have to admit, you were impressed and proud of Jungkook for doing this.

“I’m pretty sure she likes you.” You commented and rolled down your window.

Jungkook chuckled and slicked his hair back. “Of course, why wouldn’t she?”

“Oh my god, I take it back.” You leaned further away from him, cringing at his greasiness.

“I’m kidding, I’m kidding!” Jungkook gently tugged at your wrist to bring you back to how you were sitting before. “I swear I was shitting bricks though, but your mom is a lot easier to talk to than what I thought.”

You smiled as you listened to Jungkook rant about how he couldn’t sleep last night because he was too nervous. His eyes flickered from you back to the road and even still holding onto your wrist, he still spoke with a few hand gestures. This would have been your cue to wriggle yourself free, but you suppressed the urge. You had to get comfortable somehow, someway and this was your way of trying.

“By the way, how does your mom take her coffee?” Jungkook released your wrist as he reversed his car into a parking stall.

“Straight up black. Iced or hot. Ugh, it tastes disgusting.” You shivered and rubbed your wrist.

“I guess I’ll bring that over the next time I meet with you two.”

Small words were exchanged as the two of you exited Jungkook’s car. You had both of your backpacks at your footside during the whole car ride and he walked over to your side to take his bag from you, you offered to put it on for him. He squinted his eyes at you, wondering what you were up to this time. But you nudged him on to slip his arms through the straps.

“Hmm, y/n. What’s going on? First the meal prep then--oh fuck, my waffles!” Jungkook thrashed around and quickly opened the passenger side door of his car to reach for the ziploc with extra waffles that your mother made for him. “Anyway, first the meal prep, then that hug you gave me--which by the way, you never do first. During breakfast, you dressed up my waffles for me and now your helping me put on my bag? What exactly are you planning, Ms. y/n?”

You rolled your eyes at him. “First of all, at my house, it’s called manners. Second of all, I’m not planning anything. I’m just...playing my part.”

Jungkook chuckled and slyly weaved his fingers in between yours because of the amount of students that were in the parking lot.

“Well, whatever pushed that on, I’m glad it did. Chaeyoung was seriously doubting us.” He whispered.

“You know that for certain?” You asked intrigued because he did sound certain.

“Yeah, she told me.” Jungkook kept his hushed tone. “Remember at the diner? She went on and on saying that you didn’t seem like a ‘girlfriend’ because you acted differently with Sehun or whatever. I told her to just mind her business.”

A quiet sigh slipped past your lips. Chaeyoung wasn’t wrong, which was why you were trying your best to push past your boundaries and act like a better girlfriend. Jungkook hasn’t done anything that you didn’t like. He always quietly warned you if he was going to do something out of the ordinary like a back hug. You were always grateful for this, so you needed to meet him halfway for once.

“I--” You started. “I’ll try my best to do better, okay?”

Jungkook smiled at you and shook his bangs out of his eyes. “Thanks.”

He guided you all the way to your locker and leaned against the cool metal. This was practically routine for the two of you; you’d head to your locker first to grab whatever textbooks you needed for first and second period, then head over to Jungkook’s locker to grab a single notebook.

“Any plans for lunch?” Jungkook asked as he entered his locker combination.

“I was going to go to the math lab. I have to go over some criteria with Chanyeol since I didn’t get to stay for a full meeting for the past week.” You explained.

“I feel like that’s my fault since you’ve been helping me with my math work. Sorry about that.” Jungkook kept his head in his locker searching for god knows what.

“It’s no...problem.” You said barely above a whisper. Across the hall, you easily spotted Sehun with his group of friends chilling against another row of lockers. There was no doubt that he was staring right at you while his friends became background noise.

It wasn’t fair. You wouldn’t need to be making Sehun jealous in the first place if you two didn’t break up in the first place. You and Sehun would have been happy together and nothing would be messy right now.

Ugh. Shut up, y/n.

You didn’t even need to make Sehun jealous in the first place; this was just you being selfish. Sehun became unhappy at some point in the relationship and you had a personal duty to show him that you were happy with someone else.

“I guess I’m seeing you after school then.” Jungkook shut his locker, making you break the eye contact with Sehun. He kept his back turned without knowing who or what you were staring at.

“Yeah.” You absentmindedly tugged at Jungkook’s shirt to smooth out a couple of the wrinkles that splayed across. In return, he gently pushed a few hairs out of your face with his fingertips.

“Alright, let’s get you to class, Ms. y/n.” Jungkook took the textbook out of your grasp so he could properly hold your hand.

As you laced your hand into Jungkook’s, you stole a glance of Sehun whose eyes were still trained on you. You swore to yourself once again that you were going to show Sehun that you were happy with your boyfriend, Jungkook. Sehun was going to have to watch in the background as you walked the halls of the school with someone who wasn’t him.

Your class was in the opposite direction of where Sehun stood with his friends. Just as you started to walk off with Jungkook, you softly squeezed his hand and lean your head against his shoulder. There was an intense feeling of eyes piercing through the back of your head and just before Jungkook could look down at your face, you smirked.

Bingo.

♡ rae jagi

#bangtan boys #bts #jungkook #bts scenarios #jungkook scenarios #fake relationship au #high school au #bts angst #bts fluff #jungkook angst #jungkook fluff #baby kookie #rae writes

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cruddyborderlandstheories · 5 years

Text

im supposed to be working on uh literally anything else but instead i gotta get this outta my brain

tl;dr: slag is causing the Psychos to spread across the galaxy bc the Calypsos are using it to both brainwash their cultists and give them ‘special powers’. i mean, its not just slag, it’s eridian ruins/tech, too, but the Twins are utilizing slag the most. which explains the slagfalls and also the processed eridium everywhere still. im hoping sirens will help us cure this- starting with Krieg because slag/Psychos have some sort of connection to the other dimension, just like Sirens, but more messy. also this insanity from the slag/Psycho-ness is literally Mayhem and us fans are taking part in it- we’re the cult irl. plus, this game is gonna be about love and the relationships we have with the people we care about and that’s all the roses mean because i’m feeling s o f t tonight. tomorning. whatever maaaaan

“… among their fractured ramblings, it is tempting to try and find a deeper meaning…”

“[their madness] defies attempts at explanation or containment. from an isolated region of a single planet, to a nearby moon, to systems throughout every human colony, madness is catching…”

you can’t tell me this isn’t just BEGGING for us to figure it out

so, for my own sake:

i have a theory.

i kinda sorta hinted at this with my destroyer theory but i REALLY wanna go all out in this because i think this is actually something to think about… mostly because ive seen A Scene… and i wants to talk about it, vh. i wants it

now im gonna `lol` ignore everything about my lost legion eternal theory and start entirely from scratch. it’s also 1am here for my apologies if this comes across as incoherent because wow i should be asleep but fuck it i got research to do

so it all starts with psychos. i mean i guess it does. it’s gotta right? i brought in pictures it must

anyway

the guide admits that the first psychos came from Dahl’s prison colonies

the ones abandoned on pandora, now ive kinda talked about this b4 but imma talk about it again bc uhhh fuck it? why not.

so we know a lot of the bandits left on Pandora mutated because of the eridian ruins/the key. this is referenced mostly in sledge’s mine

its like world-wise called headstone mine but i never remember that. SLEDGE’S MINE

notice that line “most went crazy and many were physically mutated as well”

so i think it’s safe to say whatever they found in there started causing psychos to appear on pandora

im saying that i think eridians are the cause of Psychos across the galaxy

i have a lot more proof for this so please sit back and enjoy the ride because i think its really really cool

so lets look at hector’s logs from the newest dlc

“one of my boys found a shiny alien trinket”

“a few boys went rabid already, had to put them down”

now idk if there’s a connection here, but it’s interesting that both times, people who found these eridian artifacts started going crazy soon after

shit i mean even tannis begins to go off the wall after her and her dig team start investigating the eridian sites. although if that is because of the horrific incidents that befell her and her team or the ruins idk for certain. i’d bet its the shitty incidents tho

there’s more to this, hang on…

alright, so, lab rats? they’re pretty cool right?

we all like lab rats! personally, chase is my favorite, but adam is hilarious. that final season, huh? pretty wicked… wasn’t really a fan of the island setting but you know what, to each their own. it’s cool they actually progressed the show instead of staying stagnant. that got my respect even if it moved in a direction that wasn’t my cup of tea.

anyway Q U O T E S:

“Hyperion opened my eyes. i didn’t want it!”

“needles in my eyes!”

“don’t you look at me!”

“i can see! i don’t want to see!”

so there’s obviously something ~fucky~ going on with the lab rats and whatever it is they can see from the hyperion experimentation. we know hyperion had a hard-on for slag experimentation and you know i wouldn’t even be shocked if they were injecting these rats’ eyes with slag.

the best part is their reactions when they’re phaselocked. Unlike most enemies, the lab rats will only react to maya’s action skill, and none of the other VHs.

vs something like a marauder:

who has all these voice lines for Zer0, Axton, Sal (merc), AND Maya

the lab rats will only ever respond to being phaselocked.

and what do they say?

“i see the universe!”

“i see infinity!”

“it’s beautiful!”

(now weirdly enough i was told on the tv tropes for bl2 that the lab rats will say “I see it more!” when phaselocked by maya, but i couldn’t find a source for that. couldn’t even find it in the files i extracted from the game. i checked an online video just to double check because you know, my extraction could’ve been off, but it wasn’t there, either. even phaselocked one a bunch as maya and i couldn’t get it to proc. so, idk where that info came from, if someone could give a source/proof that would be awesomesauce.)

sooo what do other enemies say when phaselocked? usually… they just see blue. so nothing quite as interesting as infinity.

so wtf is up here?

im thinking the experiments hyperion performed on the lab rats are letting them see the dimension maya locks them in. i mean, tbh, i think they can see into that dimension whenever they open their eyes, but maybe maya’s phaselock makes sense of it for them. because they seem to be in indescribable agony outside of it

but the lab rats aren’t the only enemies that only react to being phaselocked

turns out the psychos only react to phaselocking, too

they also have some fun lines:

“I can see forever!”

“I’m home!”

“I’m inside… I’M INSIDE ME!”

with some other nonsense thrown in for fun

so idk, just taking a look at this, it’s clear the psychos and lab rats are seeing something that the other bandits just aren’t seeing. most reactions are demands to be released or that they’re flying, or just straight up confusion as to what’s happening.

is that the side effect of their exposure to slag/eridian tech? yeah, imma bet on it. their mind machines probably broke because they saw something they weren’t supposed to (possibly into the other dimension. the one maya phaselocks them in) without proper ‘protection’ and thus went batshit. like maybe sirens are protected from the craziness of the other dimension because they’re ‘chosen’ or whatever. iunno.

i do think it’s most interesting that the psychos seem familiar with whatever they’re seeing, calling it ‘home’ and well… themselves.

so why in the fuck am i talking about all this? because i think it ties straight into bl3.

let’s bring back lab rats and their experiments

you know how hyperion was supposedly injecting their eyes with slag? and it caused them to shoot those weird blue lasers out?

what happens to the destroyer’s eye in tps?

yeah we inject this bad boy with slag

“i only juice the eye with a little bit of slag at a time”

which ends up causing a singularity around the eye the second time you do it

“if this slag stuff is powering the laser, we need to force as much of it as we can back into the eye. the increased power will trip a failsafe and let us shut everything down”

oh, increased power? you mean like how Sirens get increased power from absorbing eridium? that kind of increased power?

we know in bl1 the Destroyer seemed to have something like slag in it- those glowing pockets on the tentacles that explode into purple goo

even its attacks are like purple liquid. which, you know… would be quite similar to slag (tho tbf, these attacks actually hurt instead of applying the debuff)

and boy does the destroyer not like it

“warning. space-time instability detected.” after injecting the eye with too much slag. but… why? it got too powerful? are its powers directly connected to the other dimension and by increasing it’s strength a bunch we created some sorta link between our dimension and the other one?

i mean given the other dimension allows for teleportation and shit, im not surprised there’s a space-time instability!

i mean we’ve all seen it do the eye laser thing, and the tentacles, and the purple goop. but causing space-time instabilities… that’s new isn’t it? kinda like how Sirens get new powers after they absorb a bunch of eridium???

so i wanna take a guess as to what the destroyer is

we know its ‘immortal in its own realm’ but when it’s taken an actual body that we can kill it, so odds are, it never actually died in bl1 OR tps. i imagine the Destroyer we see in bl1 is just a small fragment of it, and that it’s consciousness can be spread out across hosts. *EDIT: actually the lovely @automata-systemata-hydromata reminded me that you can find the destroyers brain in Helios. The other stuff I left in should be fine tho I thiiiink (thank you!).

and that, y’know, is cool and all, but what IS it??

Jack uses slag to give it a power boost, but it doesn’t seem to be happy about it when it happens. in fact, it even seems scared.

to be honest, all we know is that the eridians locked it away for some reason

idk im just spitballing here, but what if the Eridians were the creators of the destroyer? not intentionally, or maybe it was the result of one hell of a slag experiment/exposure to the other dimension/eridian tech, but we’ve seen what slag/exposure to eridian stuff does to humans… makes them go crazy, makes them start mutating. i mean, look at badass psychos. look at goliaths.

i mean shit even think about bloodwing. she goes wild, attacking the VHs and not listening to mordecai’s instructions despite their bond

she grows to a huge size and gains a whole shitload of new powers she didn’t have before. including fucking fire breath (which we’ve seen in burning psychos)

you know these dudes

i go into all this eridium/slag mutation stuff in SO much more detail in this post here, so if you’re interested in mutations, read this!

so what if the destroyer is just one HELL of a mutated eridian/alien and it plus all the eridium was locked away forever in the other dimension to keep this from ever happening again? because god, i wouldn’t want that to ever happen again, either, and i guess locking away the eridium (you know the stuff used in all these hyperion experiments) would be their best bet at ensuring it. also maybe just… locking away anything with eridium for that long probably isn’t the best idea… maybe that’s why it’s all tentacles and death. maybe they just locked someone away in a Vault as a prison and then leaving them with all that eridium caused them to mutate wildly out of control. kinda like the FEV.

i mean we know ‘slagged psychos’ look like this

i wouldn’t be surprised if we gave them enough slag/time they’d end up mutating even worse. and the destroyer was left in the vault for hundreds of years.

so wtf is the connection here with Sirens? there’s gotta be one, right??? is slag experimentation the first rung on the ladder of volatile science to achieving siren-hood? like you’d have slag/eridium experiments/mutations -> the lost legion eternal -> actual Sirens. maybe if sirens take in too much eridium they become something like the destroyer. now that’s fucked up to think about.

maybe it’s better the twins took lilith’s powers away from her…

oh, speaking of mutations and burning psychos and hyperion experiments, you know what we haven’t talked about yet?

Krieg.

let’s talk a whole lot about Krieg, because he is super important

krieg is important for a lot of reasons.

u know what his teaser trailer was named?

yeah i don’t think that’s coincidence one bit

ahhh Mayhem.

“deep beneath pandora, an experiment has escaped”

we know krieg is a hyperion test subject, dr samuels confirms this (and apparently contracts insanity as well at the end of the Crawmerax DLC)

also we know some other tests going on at the WEP from the quest Doctor’s Orders:

“this vault key didn’t make eridium come outta the ground for nothing, right?”

and there’s this one very very very interesting line by Tannis at the end of the quest:

“the spread of slag poisoning” yeah call it that DUMB name tannis, im gonna call it what all the kool kids are calling it: ~Mayhem~

so… Krieg.

what’s so special about him?

well… he gives us insight into what the hell is actually going on inside the heads of some psychos.

so idk about you guys but i always took this as a poke at Maya and Krieg, but i realize now that this is talking literally just about Krieg. it’s about his body holding both sides of himself.

krieg does appear to be like lucid behind the psycho controlling his body, which, idk about you guys, but for me that plants some pretty horrible mental images of all the psychos in-game who probably have similarly exasperated people behind them who are getting murdered because they can’t control themselves anymore.

and idk i wrote this whole post about how maybe the slag experimentation is turning people into hosts for the destroyer’s consciousness and that could explain all the wacked up psychos and shit. but tbh im not gonna talk about that today

just about slag experimentation/eridium exposure. we know what it ACTUALLY does and that’s mutate the hell out of things and cause insanity.

Krieg is like… the poster child for slag experimentation/eridium exposure

soooo why does slag experimentation make people go insane? could be any number of reasons, but tbh i would bet it has to do with that other dimension somehow. because eridium isn’t a normal ‘our dimension’ element. it came out of a vault. from a different dimension. and who knows the long-term effects of that shit.

i personally had a theory that the 4th dimension had something to do with time and that only Sirens are able to harness this power, but then i have no idea how to explain angel and amara’s powers through that lense, so eh. fuck it. just seeing an upper dimension would make you go crazy anyway, so let’s not bring any time shit into this because that’s just asking for trouble.

either way

i think that sirens are able to make sense of that other dimension. they have some sort of command of it/some sort of tie to it that allows them to not go crazy the instant they interact with it, unlike psychos. unlike lab rats. unlike Krieg. it’s like… eridium is our window into this other dimension or some shit and Sirens are (literally) able to process it, while it just fucks over anyone else who tries to interact. ~kachow i just introduced parallels~

and tbh i think we’re going to use Sirens to help cure this plague of insanity going around the universe. probably starting with Krieg. i mean, the only time he’s able to get even an iota of control is when he sees Maya. “Turn around pretty lady!!” like… that’s HUGE for him. and Maya’s a Siren. im not saying the power of love isn’t strong… but maybe the power of Sirens is stronger. i’d love if tannis helped us out with that. maya, too, if she really did learn more about sirens on athenas.

this all ties into borderlands 3 for 2 reasons:

1. Mayhem being both the tagline for this game and Krieg the Psycho’s DLC pack is not a coincidence

2. The calypso twins are going to be using slag to both brainwash people into becoming cultists and give them special powers

`breaks fingers` this is the real meat of this theory, all that other stuff was just getting you READY for this

let’s put the Mayhem stuff off to the side for a second and just focus on the Calypso twins.

We know they’re promising their cultists special powers and free brainwashes (lol)

we’ve seen that one concept art from the museum of mayhem with the giant slag pool

we know enemies are STILL dropping refined Eridium even though it seems like all manufacturers have stopped creating slag weaponry

and we’ve seen the slag falls in a bl3 promo material already

oh yes

okay so i said right at the very beginning of this document that i’ve seen A Scene that i wanna talk about and oh baby this is it

This Scene right here

look in the very back there

look familiar???

~it shooouuuuullld~

yeah this is it!!!

so what i think is going down: anyone who’s not already insane is sorta ‘baptized’ as their entrance into this cult in the big ol slagfall. maybe the twins have a way to induce slagged cultists so they can have elemental affinities. not sure about that.

regardless

the twins are using slag to drive people insane (turning them into psychos) as a form of brainwashing to force people to join their cult.

so that’s the special powers and the free brainwashing and the slagfalls down.

let’s talk about why exactly we’re seeing enemies drop bars of refined eridium even though hyperion stopped making them. because the twins are making it!! it makes sense why there’s no slag guns still, even if it still exists in-universe: of course no manufacturer is going to contact an insane bandit cult just to get their hands on slag for their guns.

there was a 7 year dry spell of eridium production so there was no slag to go around, so companies started phasing it out of their guns and replacing it with nuclear.

but the twins have recently started production again. they’re obviously not using it in their guns, or selling it to other manufacturers. so wtf are they using it for? it’s gotta be important, it’s holy holy holy.

special powers and brainwashing!

and the refined eridium is back in circulation, so enemies are still dropping it. see? solution acquired.

as for psycho-ness spreading across the universe? it makes sense. not only are the twins using their slag to brainwash people and turn them into psycho cultists, but people are also being mutated by the eridian ruins/vault keys/vaults on the other planets and being driven insane. This craziness is quite literally Mayhem.

Mayhem is coming, indeed!

now let us talk about what the fucccck gearbox is doing with all that Mayhem stuff in the trailers and shit.

sooo WE are the cult surrounding this game. as the fan base.

do u think it was coincidence that they made ‘ECHOnet’ Streamers the leaders of their big bad cult and then also immediately introduced, in real life, the Twitch ECHOcast extension and invited a bunch of streamers to play their demo? they knew exactly what they were doing. Giving away a free cultist psycho mask to everyone who preorders a console copy of the game? that’s intentional. everyone who preorders the game gets a ‘gold weapon skin pack’? yeah! you know what gold weapons represent in-universe? higher standing in the cult!! gearbox is making commentary on how we are all just like the cultists!

AND THEY ARE TOTALLY RIGHT

all the trailers having something to do with Mayhem? ‘Mask of Mayhem’ ‘Mural of Mayhem’ ‘We are Mayhem’ ‘Mayhem is coming’. We’re all insane cultists because we’re all absolutely fucking rabid for this game and they KNOW IT.

…

oh also we’re all in love with each other lmao.

in all seriousness, i think the game is going to focus a lot on the relationships we have with the people we care about- our found family, our romantic interests, our friendships- and that’s being expressed through the roses.

i think that’s why all the characters are shown in the roses on the cover art. why the roses are so prominent in the So Happy Together trailer. why Zane is sitting at a bar with a rose between himself and his clone (as a joke, but still, it’s the intent).

red roses are, like, the most obvious way to show your affection to someone. and we know the bl3 Vault Hunters are going to find family in each other in this game. that we’re going to watch the calypso twins’ relationship become warped as the game goes on. hell, we’re probably even going to have a whole plot about tina and mordy (and talon) and brick being a small family together, and maya and ava being one as well. plus ellie and vaughn have gotten together since commander lilith. shit, guys, even claptrap is building himself a girlfriend.

this game’s about love, guys.

anyway i have been working on this since 1:30am. it’s currently 6:06am. i am very tired and very wired and those never mesh well. im gonna go eat some motherfuckin pizza.

edit: i missed the obvious connection the first time around: of course we’re going to cure Krieg, he loves Maya. and this game is all about love.

that and/or one or both of them die and gearbox hurts us right in the softest parts of our hearts.

edit 2: also yeah at some point in the near future im writing that Hyperion-Twins theory because as much as i love Atlas, i have ~seen some things~

#borderlands #bl3 #borderlands 3 #the calypso twins #krieg #im so sorry this is like 1 billion pages #but i really had fun with it #i worked on this for a very very long time so i hope its coherent enough #i sorta just go on tangents and always repeat myself when i've said similar stuff in previous posts and i feel bad #but also i can't always put in EVERY single detail when im spending 5+ hours on a post just typing all this up anyway #so instead i reference old posts #but i feel like a dumb game of telephone #anyway #im very tired #it's time for pizza

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lairofsentinel · 5 years

Note

that bi post is interesting- i guess i have a third pov tho. ive seen some people use bi in a "new" way, to mean stuff like "attracted to women and nb people", "to men and nb people" or "attracted to several genders but not necessarily all" and so on, but also to mean, yeah, pan. and ngl thats cool. i think bi's pretty much a neat catchall for multisexuals of all kind, a bit like how queer is a catchall for anyone not cis or straight, and historically bi even used to group ace people too.

i reread your tags three times and actually it seems that we agree- i guess im just tempted to say that while everyone agrees on the meaning of pan, some people however use it differently to reflect their experience better. but unlike most people i dont view it as a bad thing but way more as something great because people can talk about their experience without feeling bound by, well, limits and definitions and blah i guess ? and as a trans person i find this great and important, not transphobic

Hello there,

thank you for sharing your pov.

I mean, the “new” way sure has a lot to do with “in which country you live”. Here, where I live, people is not using bi-pan in any new different way. But I've seen/read certain strange uses online. [the funniest use and also the only one that annoyed me was, time ago, when some weird straight people started to say: “I'm bisexual, but I only like men/women”.... like... what? How that bisexuality works? XD, but anyway, I'm nobody to go as a gender/sexuality police. Pft, I can't even speak English properly in a discussion. xD]. Also, years ago, some weird people started to say that pansexuality included trans people, while bisexuality no, so they kind of enforced the concept that “bisexuality ” had a transphobic root in its own... which is stupid, since statistics shows that trans people has quite more chances to be in a relationship with a bi/pan partner than a gay/hetero one... so.... soooooo......really crazy the way people spread misinformation.

The meaning of the tags... well... it's long: I can't be anything else but chill about the enormous amount of words that LGBT community has crafted along these last years, because sure, we all want to have the exact right word for us, to condense all our complexity in a single word XD. But let's be honest, no way that would happen, ever. So, until people “discovered” [or more like accepted] that gender and sexuality are a spectrum and are more complex than 3 or 4 words, we developed a lot of words along the way, and made use of the same word with several different uses, making of this world a more complex one [because we are never satisfied with our own :P]. And I'm not even counting on the fact of those “re-appropriated” words that were a slur previously, back in time, such as queer. Those words are a whole lot of mess.

Two simple examples:

A friend of mine at work is a bisexual woman [happily married with her wife

Another case: I, for example, feel super weird with labels. I'm nb, I give a fuck to any word of any gender. But I live in a Spanish speaking country and.... the HELL with the strongly gendered languages... I keep jumping from masculine to feminine or using the “new” neutral forms with -e [that all puritans hate and fight me for that]. But still yet, I keep using the word gay [in English, because at least it's more neutral than any other], because for the world, I'm a gender that can't be hidden once I speak [you know, damn voice] and I kind of be attracted to people of the “same” gender that everyone attaches to me [I said it in that way, because I'm more like a demy-gay, but forget to use demisexual here, nobody knows shit XD]. So... the obvious, shortest way, and efficient way to get rid of that problem every time I have to deal with that [aka, some person asks me with a reasonable argument that doesnt make me to toss them away], it's the word gay. But again, not even that means what it usually means, in my case. But again, imagine explaining all this shit, all the time, every time someone asks me with good reasons?. No way, I'll get bored of all that jabber.

So, these 2 single examples are to explain that... well, LGBT identity words, today, are a mess. Especially if you start adding those trans-masculine and trans-feminine and a lot of extra adjectives.... to me it's more confusing to understand what that person truly is, but what it's clear with that is that such person has a complex identity that wants to be acknowledged. So, if I know this, and if it's relevant for some valid [aka non-creepy] reason, I would ask to understand exactly the shade they mean, so I can acknowledge them properly. Because every gender and sexuality is a mess by its own. We will never get one single word that can embrace it wholly. I know some lucky people got it, they are gay, and cis, or trans and hetero and they are super fine with that...and I'm happy for them, they don't need extra explanations for describe their genders and sexualities xD.

That's why my tags were like that. Pansexuality appeared some decades ago [it's a super young word], specially in countries that are not USA [which it is the country that everything usually revolts around, here in tumblr]. Pan is a super new word, that mostly young people would be more inclined to use. It's more meaningful for young people [maybe. This is not a must. More like an average estimation.]

It's like queer. The oldest LGBT people, with USA-background, will probably hate it to use it. They attached to that word a slur shade that pierced their lives, it's too harmful even to use as a re-appropriated word. Yet, young people love it. Specially people without usa-background. Some of them can't even fathom the hard history meaning behind it.

Well, queer word, outside the history, is a whole mess in its own XD. What does a person mean when they say that they are queer? Are they gay? Are they trans? Are they nb? . Nobody knows. And it's ok, the clear meaning in that word is “look, I'm not cis and/or hetero”. And that's the way it works. I like to use it sometimes too, now that it has been popularised in the South hemisphere thanks to the influences of Butler.

So, yeah, we agreed, anon. XDI tried to say the same as you in my messy tags. I wrote that because sometimes I find such a nerdrage about the **chastity** or the **purity** of languages with this mess of words, or the annoyance of people that don't know the 52 labels at our disposal to describe the LGBT experience. And I simply say that it's okay not to know all of that, and not to force or stress into picking one, because most probably, you will not get it completely explained in one single word, since words, despite being 52, are limited, and sexuality and gender is a whole mess with flavours, colours and shits, that—even worse—may change with time xD.

So... the most mature attitude I think someone can take about this mess is to relax about those labels, pick the ones they think fits better for them, and understand that everyone has their own gender/sexuality, and that label may not suffice, so, when it's relevant, it's ALWAYS important to speak honestly. Yeah, all this textwall could never enter into the tags. xD.

#sexuality #gender #bisexuality #pansexuality #asks

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wellhalesbells · 5 years

Note

I see you reblogging some comic stuff an I was wondering if you have a favorite comic or favorite character or ship?

this ask is from so long ago but [DEEP BREATH IN] i’m finally going to answer it, nonny. finally. i kept wanting to read a little bit farther in my comics stack because.... maybe i’ll like that and will regret not having recced it, i just hafta--get--to it, see? and, honestly, i’m still there BUT, come on, i’ll never be caught up because that would mean comics would just have to stop coming out and i would be sad forever if that happened, SO

i’m not even going to pretend like i can narrow this down to one comic. (one ship? sure, that’s spideypool. one character? sure, that’s the merc with a mouth, the regenerating degenerate, wade motherfucking wilson. but one comic?!) there is just straight-up too much out there to make a definitive ‘yes, this is it, this is THE ONE ™ ’ statement. instead, uh, let’s break this shit down, yeah? (super special secret bonus round, will note all lgbt+ rep and standalone comics.) in no particular order, here the frig it goes!

HORROR

infidel, by pornsak pichetshote and aaron campbell. in case you haven’t seen this on every 2018 best list ever, here it is. and, yeah, it was good. a muslim-american main character living in a haunted apartment building where the entities feed off the xenophobia of its occupants. if that’s not a fucking modern horror story i don’t know what is.

spread, by justin jordan and kyle strahm. THIS IS ONE OF MY NEW AND ALREADY ALL-TIME FAVORITES. what an awesomely weird and epic story. the spread is an uncontrollable, unstoppable monster-making force that humanity accidentally unleashed by digging too deep. it infects everything it touches and basically all of humanity is running from quarantine to quarantine just hoping for the best. and speaking of hope.... she’s a baby, rescued by no, and the only thing that’s ever been able to stop the spread. also, no’s gay? and i just DID NOT see that coming. it seems like it’s going to be such a formulaic, bro-y story about the action hero who kisses the face off his girl (her name’s molly and she’s batshit insane and amazing) and instead, nope, it is not that at all. lgbt+ main characters.

the black monday murders, by jonathan hickman and tomm coker. hate capitalism? think all the rich and powerful are evil, soul-sucking monsters? [obnoxious, low-budget commercial sound effects] MAN, HAVE I GOT THE SERIES FOR YOU.

the beauty, by jeremy haun and jason a. hurley. i just started this recently but so far, oh my good golly gosh, i looove it. a sexually transmitted disease that makes you conventionally gorgeous.... at least before it explodies you. [wide, creepy smile] the art is gorgeous, the characters are aces and i am very, very pleased so far. lgbt+ minor characters.

the great divide, by ben fisher and adam markiewicz. this? was a COOL idea. the execution stumbled a bit but, gosh, was it neat. it’s post-apocalyptic where touching another person will literally kill.... one of you. the survivor then absorbs the memories of the person who dies, taking on a ‘rider.’ some people collect them, some people go mad, some form a bond, all have the side effect of dyslexia. like i said, neat as all get out. lgbt+ minor-ish/main-ish character. standalone.

revival, by tim seely and mike norton. a rural town in wisconsin experiences ‘miracle day,’ where the dead rise again.... except, they were kinda already mourned and buried and this is really just fucking up the status quo.

the woods, by james tynion iv and michael dialynas. a high school gets picked up and plopped down in an entirely new, and wickedly hostile universe. it’s all survival and alliances and seeing what you’re really made of when it comes down to it. lgbt+ main characters.

clean room, by gail simone and jon davis-hunt. a cult, a journalist and a clean room walk into a bar...

anya’s ghost, by vera brosgol. you think it’ll be a cute story of a girl and her ghost. HA HA THAT IS NOT WHAT HAPPENS AT ALL, OKAY.

FANTASY

rumble, by john arcudi and james harren. SCARECROW WARRIOR GOD, SCARECROW WARRIOR GOD, SCARECROW WARRIOR GOD!!! okay, first off, the art in this? pushes every friggin’ button i’ve got, and many i did not know i had. second, this book is so fucking fun. it’s mythology that’s balls to the wall ridiculous, funny, and features a main character whose life motto is basically: ‘do i have to?’ infinitely relatable and then some.

heathen, by natasha alterici and rachel deering. UGH, ONE OF MY FAVORITES. the art is just horribly, horrendously gorgeous and it’s LESBIAN VIKING MYTHOLOGY, OKAY. OKAYYYY??? lgbt+ main characters.

the wicked + the divine, by kieron gillen and jamie mckelvie. one of my favorite ever series right here. it’s a hella cool concept (gods reincarnating as humans every twelve years, and burning up their hosts in two), whip-smart and if you’ve ever met a human being who likes a pun more than kieron gillen i defy you to produce them. lgbt+ main and minor characters.

batgirl, by gail simone and adrian sayaf and vicente cifuentes. you know how people rave about gail simone? there’s a reason people rave about gail simone. honestly, i’ve never had much interest in babs. i don’t tend to go for superheroes who don’t kill and i have even less interest in ‘the killing joke’ story line and i am convinced only gail simone could’ve done the recovery on that and she did a GLORIOUS job of it.

red hood and the outlaws, by scott lobdell and dexter soy. (ignoring recent - and annoying - developments), this is my favorite of all the rebirths dc did. scott lobdell is the only writer to have gotten the idea down of: okay, we’re starting over, i assume you don’t know anything but i also assume there are a bajillion people reading who know everything, and hit the perfect medium between those two things. so if you want to start a jason todd run, you legitimately can here, and get all the found family, badassery, batman-teasing enjoyment there is to be had.

iceman, by sina grace and robert gill (covers by kevin wada). classic super-heroing here and bobby’s first solo title. he’s figuring out coming out while fighting (and flirting) with baddies. sina really gets his humor and how truly wonder-awful it is! lgbt+ main character.

spider-man/deadpool, by joe kelly and ed mcguinness. watch those names there, those are your guys right there, period. they looked at the void of a spider-man/deadpool series and filled it with absolutely everything you could possibly want for the pair (sans a hardcore make-out sesh, though they did get a few variant covers with some puckered up lips in there!)

limbo, by dan watters and caspar wijngaard. a fusion of 80s aesthetics, voodoo elements and a noir tone. just some remarkably cool shit in this. the ending, for me, left something to be desired but it was more than worth it to see worship via mixtapes. standalone.

hawkeye: kate bishop, by kelly thompson and leonardo romero. kate bishop is, apparently???, a super impossible character for a lot of writers. kelly thompson is not one of them. kelly thompson is my favorite kate bishop writer, actually, and the fact that she is ever not writing her is a gd travesty.

the unbeatable squirrel girl, by ryan north and erica henderson. honestly, i’m so tempted to just stick this under ‘contemporary,’ because it really does just feel very... normal. doreen’s navigating college, new friendships, and y’know... the squirrely-ness. this had every opportunity to suck and instead it’s funny as heck, never takes itself too seriously, and is just pure good-hearted entertainment through and through.

wolf, by ales kot and matt taylor. a paranormal detective and the-possible-antichrist go on a road trip. people hated this comic and i don’t know how you can hate a comic that has a character called freddy chtonic who has tentacles for a mouth???

ms. marvel, by g. willow wilson and adrian alphona. hi, you read ms. marvel because the world is a garbage fire and people are terrible and your cynicism is at an all time high and then kamala khan waltzes in and reminds you people generally want to help each other and the world improves when we work together and that thing optimists feel? you’ll feel that for as long as you’ve got the pages open and that’s a magical thing. lgbt+ minor character.

monstress, by marjorie m. liu and sana takeda. psychic links with monsters, matriarchal societies, magic and witchery, half-human/half-animal (and other ratios) characters, all through a steampunk lens. what’s not to like about that??

inhuman, by charles soule. i love this series, i love the idea of being a total average joe/joanne, getting smacked in the face by a cloud of mist and suddenly having to figure out how to live basically a whole new life. also, if you don’t fall madly in love with dante pertuz, i don’t even know what to tell you, my dude.

heart in a box, by kelly thompson and meredith mcclaren. break-ups suck, but only because of that whole pesky broken heart thing, right? so emma gives hers away. problem solved, no? standalone.

i kill giants, by joe kelly and j.m. ken niimura. i didn’t cry my eyes out or anything. did not. standalone.

sex criminals, by matt fraction and chip zdarsky. having sex = stopping time, which leads suzie and jon to the only logical conclusion: let’s rob some banks!

hawkeye, by matt fraction and david aja. honestly there are a lot of other artist combos in this run but the only ones that are worthwhile are the ones that have fraction and aja’s names on them - sorry not sorry.

SCIENCE FICTION

black bolt, by saladin ahmed and christian ward. saladin revived this character one hundred million percent. there is absolutely a reason this was parading around all over ‘best’ lists when it was released. it really, really did the damn thing.

saga, by brian k. vaughan and fiona staples. this is the comic you recommend to people who don’t even like comics because it is that good. like, my dad - who hadn’t read a comic since he was a pre-teen, eagerly awaits each new trade. the world-building, the characters, the care put into every single solitary bit of all the things? unparalleled. lgbt+ minor characters.

frostbite, by joshua williamson and jason shawn alexander. a post-apocalyptic story that has humanity dying from a plague that literally freezes you from the inside out. very neat, very cold, very readable. standalone.

descender, by jeff lemire and dustin nguyen. this had a rough start, for me, with the main character of the first trade being tim-21, an android who is literally incapable of having the depth to be a lead BUT that does not last through to the next trade, thank god. lots of space and found family and world-building in this to be had! but you know how people rave about jeff lemire? there’s a reason people rave about jeff lemire.

paper girls, by brian k. vaughan and cliff chiang. the 80s and time travel and lifelong friendships. it’s brian k. vaughan, you know it’s good, okay? why do i even have to sell you here, man? lgbt+ main characters.

injection, by warren ellis and declan shalvey. this is another one on my list that started out a little rough but really appealed to me later on. there was just a lot to absorb in that first trade but, once you’ve got it, the ride gets way, way smoother. lgbt+ main and minor characters.

black science, by rick remender and matteo scalera. this was a rocky start, because the main character is such an asshole but in a way where he can’t see he’s an asshole, he’s just a tortured genius who’s superior to all of you, don’t you know? but i am so glad i persevered because if that’s the set up? the rest of the series is knocking him back down. super scientist grant mckay finds a way to access the eververse, every possible reality the universe has on offer, and that’s really what causes every single problem that follows. hard to cause the apocalypse and be an arrogant prick, ya know?

CONTEMPORARY

giant days, by john allison and lissa treiman. this series is so funny and smart and warm. these girls are so kind to each other and relatable and failing at adulting regularly and often and i love reading about them. lgbt+ main character.

lumberjanes, by noelle stevenson and grace ellis and brooke a. allen. this is funny and ridiculous and kind and cool and all other awesome adjectives and you should read it, fact. lgbt+ main characters.

my brother’s husband, by gengoroh tagame and anne ishii (translator). this is such a sweet story about acceptance and family tbh. lgbt+ main character.

fence, by c. s. pacat and johanna the mad. i mean... i need to see nicholas and seiji hook-up, i need that, stat. stat means now! lgbt+ main characters.

WEB/INDEPENDENT COMICS

long exposure, by kam heyward. so mitch and jonas are my absolute faves and i love them to death and the author is so kind in that they actually put this up in print on indyplanet so i can read it the way i, personally, love to read comics (and - bonus! - support them with the monies). lgbt+ main characters.

modern dread, by pat shand and ryan fassett (editors). i’ve been trying to find more better horror comics lately so i’ve been kind of half-heartedly stumbling through kickstarter on the hunt and this was SUCH a great find. it’s an anthology but more cleverly done than any other kickstarter anthology i’ve read, with a main story line that seamlessly strings together the would-be-disjointed ones. this was really thoughtfully put together and really well done! standalone.

heartstopper, by alice oseman. a very sweet story about two high school-aged boys becoming fast friends, playing rugby and falling in love. the two characters are mentioned as an aside in the author’s book, solitaire, and she became so invested in them that she wrote their backstory as a free webcomic. lgbt+ main characters.

the pale, by jay fabares. JUST started this (like, just a day or so ago) but i’m enjoying it so far!

hotblood!, by toril orlesky. i mean... is it a webcomic about a centaur falling in love with his boss? it just might be. did i get a bound edition through a kickstarter campaign? maybe. maybe i did that. who’s to say? lgbt+ main characters.

the bay, by bbz. life on mars through the lens of three young professionals who form an odd but lasting friendship. lgbt+ main characters.

hard drive, by artroan. is it a nsfw comic about a dude and a robot? .... it might be a nsfw comic about a dude and a robot. [coughs] lgbt+ main characters.

seen nothing yet, by tess stone. a nsfw comic about two amateur ghost hunters. can’t imagine why i might be interested in that [coughs] lgbt+ main characters.

captain imani and the cosmic chase, by lin darrow and alex assan. i mean did i want a starship captain who can’t help but lust after the smuggler he’s chasing. i mean, maybe i did. maybe. lgbt+ main characters.

taproot, by keezy young. ghost falls in love with boy, boy falls in love with ghost, AND THEY LIVE HAPPILY EVER AFTER. lgbt+ main characters.

always raining here, by bell and hazel. just two boys falling in lurve. lgbt+ main characters.

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shidiand · 5 years

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How do you imagine Tenco's Story ending in your head?

that is a GREAT but UNEXPECTED QUESTION freshlybaked "spider" bread and i'm really happy to have the opportunity to try and answer this ageless question that has burned within all of us in the tenco's story iv waiting room community since 2013. it is an incredible coincidence (or is it? 👀) that i was just talking to Risa about tenco's this (edit: yesterday) morning so i am extra double super in the mood to talk about Tenco's Story today. so excellent of a coincidence is this that i am tempted to refer you to them in case you wanted to hear their thoughts on the matter that would probably turn out super cool, but that is neither here nor there; let us talk Tenco's Story.

i of course must mention my unadvertised and modestly detailed commentary on tenco's i-iii at https://shidiand.tumblr.com/tencos, presenting slightly interesting facts in an unwieldy and difficult-to-use format, but as it dates back to june 2017, i want to take some time to understand my feelings about the series once more.

tenco's story is a series that has a lot of meaning to me.

i took on my current name of shidiand in november of 2013. i was still in 11th grade at the time, 4th year of high school, and a very socially isolated person. i should say i was introduced to touhou in 7th grade, 2010, so i was still working through a 3 years-strong phase of trying to simultaneously both find an outlet for and bottle up an endless wellspring of awkward weeaboo-gamer nerd energy at the time.

i had my first real foray onto the internet in 2010, tried out twitter, followed some RPers and other people who had Cool Touhou Usernames. didn't really go anywhere. i had maybe 50 followers, i dont really know the count but it was definitely a) double digits and b) pretty low. didn't know what to tweet about. didn't know how to hit it off with others. i think there was basically maybe only 3 other people i ever properly interacted with. oh shit i was playing league of legends at the time. oh my god. i really did play league of .. oh my god. let's move on.

aw shit im super digressing amn't i. well.

this is just how it goes when i write essays on tumblr.com.

i'm afraid you're just along for the ride at this point so please do your best to enjoy it.

i got kind of tired of twitter at the time because i didnt know what to do with it. didnt know how to interact with people and didnt find the people i was following interesting, so i ghosted on out of there by the end of 2012. didnt deactivate it until like 2015 but at that point that was just burning away my dark history. anyways. november 2013.

--im taking a lot of time here trawling through old files on my computer, my tumblr blog, notification emails still lying around in my gmail inbox from twitter, the dropbox i didn't actually use but it had several tenco's story pictures on it but i deleted them so this was useless, ... to trace the timeline of this story and im really seeing a lot of remnants of dark history here you know? did you know i wrote a letter to a girl i had a crush on valentine's day 2014, slipped it into her locker, and anxiously hung around nearby at lunchtime to see how she reacted at lunchtime? i certainly didn't, or at least i made darn ass sure to forget about this incredible virgin incident and not remember it, ever, until i came across the records of it that i thoughtfully preserved for the me of 5 years later today. ok well now i have to read the letter to see if it was as bad as it just sounded there brb

ok so the good news is that it was actually very focused on being positive and full of admiration for the cool things she did instead of being a confession letter so i am very glad i was able to be a respectful chad 5 years ago, but the bad news is that the jokes, the actual sentences i put together. oh my god. but i mean. well. at least i got the spirit. its certainly a step up from this other person in my grade, WEEABOO ANDREW, YOU MAY RECALL THIS STORY AND HIS NAME FROM PREVIOUS STORYTIMES, THE MAN THE MYTH THE LEGEND who came to school on halloween once cosplaying kirito from sword art online and got very possessive about people asking if they could hold his black replica plastic sword, and probably worse, dropped a "will you be my girlfriend" letter into the locker of my homie and fellow trombonist samantha, who was a little bit nerdy, hung out with the anime-likers who were actually sociable and fun to be around so you can imagine why weeaboo andrew was into her, which had i) a direct quotation from SAO chapter 16.5 (origin of the famous "glopping noise" line), and ii) a condom. jesus christ. i dont want to talk about this any more. next topic.

i also put this drawing of iku nagae and her skarmory (actually an albinoss from 18 DRAGONS) on the other side of the letter because it was the coolest thing i could think of drawing at the time. and i completely agree with 2014 me because it IS super fucking cool. hell fuckin yeah

https://shidiand.tumblr.com/post/76301993387/iku-nagae-ft-that-thing-that-supposedly-is-a

alright that was a fun little trip down memory lane but lets get back on track. november 2013. i started anew as shidiand. still awkward, still learning how to express myself and looking for my place among others. i followed some touhou bloggers, hung around r/touhou a lot as well. in december i got my first tablet for christmas, a wacom bamboo splash. i still use this thing! the usb cable disconnects if you bump it so i have to find just the perfect position to sit in whenever i want to draw, but its served me well. anyways. i was just starting to play around with digital art but i remember, probably just before new years, for some reason i wanted to find out more about tenshi hinanawi (i don't remember why. tenshi wasn't even one of my favourite characters at the time) so i went googling and right there on zerochan i found this:

https://www.pixiv.net/member_illust.php?mode=medium&illust_id=23525572

this was during my dark souls phase so i just went BANANAS at the sight of this. this was literally the coolest image i had ever seen in my internet life. That image alone made me want to draw in hopes that I could make something as cool as that someday.

it wasn't immediately after but i soon discovered tenco's story, and it was love. kannnu was my very first artistic inspiration, and for a long time, my only one. i absolutely idolized them at the time. since then, ive found other artists to look up to, in a more healthy manner, but to this day i still look up to kannnu, still admire their work a lot.

i played around with drawing, followed the lives of people on tumblr, started reading touhou fanfiction, made a new twitter. i met a lot of new people along the way. some people i havent stuck with, some i cut ties with, and some people i still keep in contact with today. over those long 5 years of being shidiand, i found a name (i used to use shidian and then shid, but someone called me shidi once and i realized that was a lot better), how to reach out to others, how to express myself, places that i could feel included in. this is why i owe a blood debt to evelyn, who permitted me to kneel at her throne and was like "yea ok you can join my discord server u seem cool". evelyn, if you were confused by me ominously mentioning this blood debt/blood oath in a tumblr reply 1-2 years ago, this is the context. those 5 years were like a coming of age of sorts, that i never had when i was in high school.

and my love for tenco's story, that inspired me to draw that day, has been with me since almost the very beginning of my time as shidiand. from the beginning, i have always encouraged people to READ TENCO'S STORY, like the kin of those who cry PLAY MELTY or WATCH SYMPHOGEAR. i think my very first sidebar description was something akin to a prayer, written in very choral language, hoping for the day tenco's story iv was completed, ..., "meanwhile, furious shitposting". kannnu's work, finding delight in whatever they chose to draw, has been at my side, all along. my true mentor, my guiding moonlight...

so that's why i still to this day love tenco's story so much.

let's talk about tenco's story.

tenco's story is a story told through single pictures. the plot is vague, and details are sparse. dialogue is rare. we only know what has happened; we seldom know why. furthermore, there are many gaps between scenes that the reader is left to fill in for themselves; we see only snapshots that form an hazy outline of the events that occurred, and must imagine the rest. motivations and explanations fail me. but even with a barebones plot, tenco's story has themes, and if nothing else, those have to be carried through.

the main theme, of course, is journey and travel, but there are also other ideas, too. i actually think they start to change as the series goes on:

book i, where tenshi runs away from home, is about striking out on your own. it's a very fun and unpredictable journey, together with a friend.

book ii, where tenshi and iku are separated, forces tenshi to find and rely on companions of her own even more. but they do so, and they are able overcome hardships, and there is food and festival.

book iii marks a climax, reasserting tenshi's goal of finding the sword of hisou. i feel like the journey shifts from a travel (visiting) to a path forwards (making your way through). perhaps this is just something i get from knowing the locations from dark souls (Anor Londo, New Londo Ruins, the Great Hollow), but the locations start to give more of a sense of verticality, like they're emphasizing tenshi's climb to the summit. the hardships and enemies are the greatest they've been yet, and right when they near the top, tenshi and iku start to bleed. the book ends on an uncertain note.

if i had to describe the type of journey and travel that tenshi and iku undertake, there's this sense of wonder at discovering new places, wandering from vista to vista in delight, but also a sense of conquering, making it through a difficult patch. the sequence from pages 2-44 to 2-51, taken together, convey this sense of overcoming the best. it's one of my favourite parts. again, although the tone definitely starts to lean towards struggle in book iii, i think tenco's sense of wonder really is the heart of the series. there's no map of the world, no predicting where tenshi and iku will end up next. and through their travels, though they come across many enemies, they also find friends -- places of refuge, places full of life, people who will look after them for a few days, companions who will stay with them for the rest of the journey. at the end of book iii, we see a long haired tenshi with purple hair being impaled by the sword of hisou (3-33, see also this extra illustration that risa pointed out to me http://sinnnkai.blog.fc2.com/blog-entry-195.html), and regular short haired tenshi continuing on her journey (3-42). if we ignore the out-of-story images where tenshi has the sword of hisou, tenshi has actually only ever used her sunlight blade (2-24, 3-26, etc), so i think that the long haired tenshi on 3-33 is a different person altogether. (if i had to guess, she might be the purple haired woman in the top left of https://www.pixiv.net/member_illust.php?mode=medium&illust_id=35443328 as we have never seen that woman appear anywhere.) she probably has something to do with the flashbacks at the end of book ii and she might somehow be short-haired tenshi at the same time, but this is just speculation.

however, in 3-43, tenshi's hair is rather blue, so i don't know if this is the purple haired woman or not. if it is, tenshi is probably still fine and closing in on the summit, but if it isn't, then it's very worrying to see a picture of tenshi without any of her companions. it's very ominous.

meanwhile, iku, while climbing the red carpeted corridor, is stabbed, and disappears for a few pages. there's a black page, a shot of a shrine that strongly resembles the hakurei shrine, and a picture of iku standing behind someone in a tux, with the line "In the past, I was saved by the lady I was serving, you see?". and then iku wakes up in a field of flowers.

i think what this scene makes clear is a theme that has continued to appear and reappear throughout every book of "being saved, being aided by someone's kindness".

i think another theme that is implied and has to be addressed by this story of running away from home is "return". something im imagining is that the reason tenshi makes finding the sword of hisou her goal is because she wants to have something to prove herself with, to vindicate her when she comes home. but i don't think she needs to prove anything, and i ultimately think that she would be happier spending the rest of her life exploring.

so i think this should be what happens in the ending.

open on iku's journey, and give her a long sequence of travel without seeing tenshi. underline her newfound resolve. she climbs to the summit with albinoss, and finds the rest of tenshi's companions fallen. and in the last room is sword of hisou tenshi, who has lost herself, and it comes down to iku to bring her back. after a difficult battle, when both of them are on their last legs, iku is unable to stand any longer. but at this moment tenshi sees her companions struggling to get back up and reach her, and that's what brings her to her senses. and iku gets to see how many friends tenshi's been able to make on her own, and they finally and properly reunite. together, tenshi and iku carry each other out of the last room.

i don't think it's necessary to return to heaven. as a conclusion, dedicate some time to tenshi and iku travelling together. they're on their way back, revisiting old friends who helped them along the way, enjoying the journey. their last stop is the house of the elderly nawis (1-42). tenshi shows off the sword of hisou; she decided to keep it not as a trophy to show her family but as proof of the bonds of her companions. surrounded by friends, tenshi and iku decide to part ways with each other, knowing that the other will be alright. iku drifts among the clouds once more, and tenshi sets off for the horizon.

that's the plot that i'd write/just wrote. i don't really expect tenco's story iv to ever come out, though. i mentioned my first sidebar description earlier in this essay, but of course, you can see that it's been changed. 2 years ago, i read my hopeful prayer once more and was struck with a terrible melancholy, so now it reads this: "having come to terms with the fact that tenco's story iv will never be released, i can still live, knowing that the spirit of the journey will live on through kannnu's original works [...] meanwhile, furious shitposting".

on one level, tenco's story is a story, but in the process of following it, i came to think of the work itself as a journey too. you can constantly see kannnu's improvement between and even within each book. they have always drawn whatever they liked; what plot matters in the face of "I wanted to draw a beautiful sky." "I wanted to draw a fantastic battle." "I wanted to draw Dark Souls and Monster Hunter and Pokemon and Brave Fencer Musashi and Bokura no Taiyou and Touhou."

its not really kannnu's style to go back and tie up old ends. they just draw whatever makes them happy. so as i watch them continue to draw beautiful places and fantastic creatures, new characters heading out on journeys of their own or just enjoying their everyday lives, it's as if tenco's story never ended. the limits and consistency of that world ignored, and a new one springs up; in a way, the world of tenco's, which had such thin boundaries, just gets bigger.

but even so, having said all that, i still see them draw that short-haired tenshi from time to time. it makes me happy to see them remember tenco's story with such fondness. often crossing over with orion or roar or elweiss, you can see tenshi on another journey.

#tenco's story #freshlybakedspiderbread

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