#jyn's head was easier for me to immediately get into because a lot of what i was going through around the time r1 came out

[astromechs]

no really, but, like. rebelcaptain is The ship for me, because i honestly cannot think of another where i very equally love both characters involved to this extent and also project an equally insane amount onto literally both of them

#like i will always say i think it's weird if you don't at least LIKE both of the characters you're shipping together but usually i do have a #preference for a character i either feel like i understand a little bit better or relate to a little more #here it's just like no. hello jyn and cassian. you are literally both Blorbo to me #take my mental illnesses. you're both getting projected on now LMFAO #jyn's head was easier for me to immediately get into because a lot of what i was going through around the time r1 came out #but then i spent a lot more time with cassian and i don't find his head difficult to get into anymore at all #(also i vibe cassian a lot when i'm depressed lmfao) #anyway i think they're both equally easy for me now. i don't struggle with either in terms of voice or pov

[b-else-writes]

the tiger shark and the sun

New chapter posted for my Star Wars/Avatar the Last Airbender-RebelCaptain fusion AU! Feat: Jyn calls Obi Wan an old fart, Jyn tells Luke and Leia to stop being melodramatic about becoming evil, dragons, and me ranting about the “evil sexy matriarchy” fantasy trope. 

Read on AO3 | Read from start

Pairings: Jyn/Cassian, minor Han/Leia and Baze/Chirrut, random minor background pairings

Rating: T

Summary: Star Wars/Avatar the Last Airbender fusion AU. The Fire Nation, under  Fire Lord Palpatine and Lord Vader, has been at War with the world for  the last twenty years. When Jyn Erso lands on his doorstep the day  Cassian, last southern waterbender, is assigned to protect the Avatar,  she seems just another obstacle in ending the War. An obstacle he would  willingly remove. For exiled firebender Jyn, the Avatar is her last way  home - and to her hostaged father, never mind her own conscience. But as  their paths keep crossing, and the Avatar needs all help in saving the  world, Jyn and Cassian find they are more alike than they ever thought  possible.

Snippet under the cut!

Jyn woke with a start, rapidly trying to figure out where she was. She was lying on a straw mattress in a stone room. The early morning light filtered in through a low window. On the ceiling were carvings of circling sky bisons.

Slowly, her memory returned. Jyn sat up, taking in the small room in Hynestia, the Western Air City. Cassian and Kay were nowhere in sight. He had removed her bracers and her boots sometime after she’d fallen asleep, and left then. But there was a dent on the mattress from where he’d been. She could still smell him – and his horrible lizard – and she gave herself a moment to imagine a world where someone like her…

She hastily shoved the thought aside. Another, more pressing concern than her unrequited feelings had emerged. She was supposed to teach. Jyn buckled on her bracers and slid her boots on quickly. She combed her fingers through her hair, repining the bun, and set about finding Enfys.

It took her a surprisingly short time to get around: the entire city seemed to have been developed and built for easy accessibility, with lifts, railings, and maps everywhere. Enfys, after she’d shown Jyn her room, had said she was going to the temple. Jyn found her and Luke curled up on the temple floor, fast asleep.

Jyn crouched and poked her. “Wake up!” she hissed.

Enfys groaned, red braids falling in her face. “Jyn, it’s only dawn…”

“Enfys, I need your help.” Luke made a noise but continued to snore. Jyn pursed her lips. “I’ll make you those wheat pancakes with dates and honey you love,” she said in her sweetest voice.

Enfys cracked one eye open. “We don’t have honey or dates.”

“I brought a jar as a peace offering,” she admitted. There was a pause. With a groan, Enfys extricated herself from Luke’s arms, pulling her cape on. Luke made a little grumble and rolled over. Jyn refrained from commenting as Enfys trailed after her to the central atrium. Enfys was perfectly liable to turn it right back on her.

As Jyn got the ingredients out from her satchel on the war balloon, Enfys asked, “So, what’s the issue?”

Swallowing her pride, “How did you teach the twins?”

There was another long pause. “You didn’t think this through at all, did you?” Enfys said, covering her mouth with her hand. Jyn glared. “I’m not laughing, I’m not!”

“I hate you,” Jyn said, swatting the date jar away from Enfys’ grip.

“No, you don’t,” Enfys said happily, dipping one finger in the honey jar and licking it. Jyn crouched to light the cookfire. It took a moment for the flame to appear on her fingertips. She frowned, but Enfys continued to speak, refocusing her attention. “Well, for me it was simple – I just followed how I was taught by my mother and aunts and elders. I already had a lesson plan ingrained in me.”

Jyn shook her head, feeling her pulse race, though it had been a decade since Master Jorus had backhanded her to perform better. “That…is not going to work.”

Enfys’ face clouded over. She stood from her perch and began to help Jyn, brushing her hands against hers. “Well, then, start simple. Like how to produce fire. And go from there. Basic punches and blocks, you do that a lot, don’t you?”

“They’re called fire fists.”

“My mistake,” Enfys said, her eyes sparkling with mirth, “Fire fists and fire kicks and fiery-ness and aallll that.”

Jyn bit back a smile, extending the plate with honey-drizzled wheat pancakes. “For her highness, the Queen of Mon Cala.”

Enfys immediately grabbed it, digging in with a moan of delight. “One of the few things from the Fire Nation worth saving,” she said, her mouth full of food.

“What’s the rest?”

“Don’t fish for compliments,” Enfys said easily, making Jyn grin. As Baze and Chirrut came in, Enfys added, “Just remember to be patient.”

“I am a beacon of patience.”

Enfys laughed. “I meant with yourself, Jyn. You’re doing something new and difficult. So be kind to yourself as you figure it out.”

She sighed, resting her head against her best friend’s shoulder. “And yet you won’t share your portion with me?” she asked, fighting down her own rising panic.

“You’re impossible,” Enfys laughed, giving her a kiss on the cheek. “Now eat up for your first big lesson, Master Jyn.”

Jyn stretched and popped out her muscles. She, Luke, and Leia stood in a beautiful courtyard of cream and white clay and wood. She imagined it must have been a communal space when Hynestia had still housed Air Nomads. She didn’t like dwelling on that too long. She could still feel…something clinging to the place. Fire child, they whispered, stroking her face and hair, this is what your people did.

She would have preferred pure hatred, but she felt that was not their way. It would have been easier than guilt. Especially when she saw the sadness in Enfys’ eyes.

Jyn focused back on the twins. Both wore expressions of trepidation, Leia in particular throwing her suspicious looks. Jyn tried not to take it too personally. “Have either of you ever firebent before?”

They exchanged a look. “Once,” Luke said, shifting a little, “We… we burnt Cassian by accident.”

Multiple statements immediately became clear in Jyn’s head. She pushed aside her own empathy for Cassian – and her instinctive urge to get angry on his behalf. Cassian held no grudge about it. Patiently, she said, “Most firebenders accidentally burn themselves or others when they’re starting out as children. It’s…normal.

“Alright then, let’s see what fire you can produce,” she said, folding her hands behind her back. Keep patient. Don’t be like Master Jorus. Don’t be what the Air Nomads know you could be. The summer heat touched the scars on her arms.

Exchanging another uneasy glance, the twins sank into a low hot-squat, good form, and punched.

A puff of smoke came out.

“That’s it?” Leia glared. Jyn resisted the very powerful urge to groan. “Let me demonstrate,” she said. Her muscle memory was so honed that Jyn didn’t even need to think. She sank and punched, sleeves billowing.

She produced a tiny gasp of flame.

Leia began clapping. Jyn scowled. “Don’t patronize, you know what it’s supposed to look like,” she grumbled. Jyn punched again. She slid into various forms, again and again. Only wisps of flame. “What in the…”

“Maybe you were never as good as you thought you were,” Leia said, grinning slightly.

“Oh, you’re hilarious,” Jyn snapped, trying in vain to produce more flame.

“Maybe it’s the altitude?” Luke suggested, though he didn’t look convinced. Jyn stared at her hands. Her inner flame felt cold and dull in her chest, despite the sunlight pouring over her skin. Sól, give me power, she thought, but none came.

Her firebending was gone. Somewhere, she could feel Master Jorus laughing.

The group sat around the cookfire, eating and chatting. The summer days were long, Chirrut knew. He could still feel heat despite the dinner hour. Baze had passed him his bowl, their fingers brushing. He smiled, gripping Baze’s fingers momentarily and grounding them both.

He heard Jyn clear her throat to speak. “There’s…a problem. I’ve lost my firebending. Well, not lost…but it’s weaker now and I can’t figure it.”

Chirrut considered as he munched. Bending was inherently spiritual, something that many had now forgotten, preferring to use as a blunt instrument. Jyn had never struck him before as someone who wanted to look within herself.

“Maybe it’s because you changed sides,” Cassian spoke up. Chirrut’s seismic sense could feel Jyn immediately perk up and orient towards him. Oh, young love. “Your firebending used to come from anger and desperation. Now you have none.”

“So, what? We piss Erso off?” Han asked, poking Erso with his sword butt.

Jyn kicked him in the shin. “Cut that out! It’s not an option.”

“What you need is a new source,” Chirrut said. “And by that, I mean an old one. The original. For earthbending, the first earthbenders were the badgermoles. When I was young, I ran away and hid in a cave. A blind child was better off gone.”

He still remembered the pain and fear as he had fled Jedha’s orphanage, stumbling through the crowds of people out into the scorching, shifting ground he had learnt was sand. Finding his way into the Catacombs. Surrounding by the dead, as he imagined he would soon become.

The Spirits had other plans. There had been a great crunch of rock, and a soft, wet snout had nosed him. They had recognized him as one of their own. “The badgermoles are also born blind. I learnt earthbending as an extension of my senses. Earthbending is not a martial art – it is a way of interacting and moving through the world, and that is the form I taught Luke and Leia.”

The wonder he had felt as he began to feel the world expanding outwards beneath his palms and feet. The grubs and creatures that lurked beneath the desert sand. The hardy plants that nourished from the earth. The secret oases. The possibilities that had exploded to him. His only regret was that it was no help to non-benders and other benders, but Chirrut was nothing if not stubborn. He had tried to help them too, as a Guardian of the Whills.

“Firebending isn’t like that,” Jyn said quietly, standing up and pacing.

“But surely you must know who the original firebenders were,” Enfys said, “I learnt from my Tribe, but the first airbenders were the sky bison. That’s influenced our bending to use gliders to fly, to our culture!”

Jyn walked over to Chirrut. He felt the same turmoil of his childhood self, in her. “It won’t work. The first firebenders were the dragons, and they’re extinct. There’s no other way.”

Baze squeezed Jyn’s hand. “There is always another way.”

Jyn was silent for a moment. When she spoke, he felt the vibrations. There is something she is concealing. “We’re not far from the island of Dathomir. The witches of Dathomir were said to be the first to learn firebending from the Dragons. They were killed off thousands of years ago. You still hear stories, but there’s no proof their society still exists. We might find something. Otherwise…”

“Sometimes the shadows of the past can be felt by the present,” Chirrut said. Several of the group shifted uncomfortably.

“We don’t have much of a choice,” Luke said, “Han, can we borrow the Falcon?”

keep reading

#rebelcaptain #rogue one #jyn x erso #star wars #jyn erso #cassian andor #atla #au: atla #zutara #my fic

[evalinkatrineberg]

Leana

A/N: A little interlude, including an RP with @leanarg , who is so sweet and lovely and amazing!! We love to see it. 

I read the email over again, just to be sure that I really hadn’t missed anything. Maybe there had been some phrasing that I had misinterpreted the previous four times I had read it, or maybe something had gotten mixed up when I had been carbon copied on the email - either way, there had to be a mistake somewhere. This couldn’t be it. This couldn’t be my only option.

Dr. Hammond,

I’d be more than happy to allow Miss Evalin Berg to use the lab work she has done for me over the course of her time at this university to count for her biochemistry lab credits. In fact, I’ll CC her on this email, to make sure she sees this as well. My only stipulation is that if she does decide to use the lab work she did for me as her biochemistry lab credits, I will have to have her name redacted in the publications she contributed to. It’s simply department policy; you know how it goes.  

This stipulation would not apply, of course, should she return and complete her biochemistry lab in person. The decision is ultimately hers to make.

Yours truly,

Dr. Janine Proctor

--

Evalin,

Please notify me of your decision on this matter at your earliest convenience.

Dr. Fiona Hammond

No. Nothing had changed, no words had miraculously rearranged themselves to shed new light on the meaning of this email. Neither of my options were good. Either risk taking an incomplete for my first of two semesters of biochemistry, and possibly delay my graduation because of it, or lose the shred of credit given to my name for helping Proctor with her experiments, and for conducting an experiment of my own creation under her careful guidance. Both options left me with a bleak vision of the future.

With a sigh, I closed out my email, clicking my phone locked and placing it on my desk. I leaned back in my chair, my head facing towards the ceiling as I rubbed at my temples with the heels of my hands. Which of these options was the lesser of two evils? I had never felt so unsure of something in my life, and that was saying a lot, considering the last conversation I had had with Idalia, after Arin and I had kissed in the library. How had it come to this? I had gone from kissing Arin and feeling flustered, yet on top of the world, to showing him the work I had accomplished and promptly making a fool of myself in front of him, only to likely have the work I had shown him ripped out from under me. To say that these past few weeks had been a roller coaster would be inaccurate. These past few weeks had been a race down a double black diamond, and I was an inexperienced skier who should probably still be on the bunny hill.

Maybe these weren’t my only options, though. Idalia had somehow pulled some strings to attend fencing practices outside of the palace - perhaps I could similarly find a way to complete my biochemistry lab at Angeles University.

I immediately shook the idea out of my head. There simply wasn’t enough time in the day for me to do that, and besides, I’d probably already missed the deadline to get into such a class there. Even if they made an exception, given my situation, it likely wouldn’t last. Once Proctor caught wind of what I was doing - and I had no doubt that she would - she’d put in a bad word against me, and I’d likely be kicked to the curb again.

It can’t hurt to at least ask, can it?

Yes, it could hurt. That was a lesson I definitely should have learned by now, given my last conversation with Arin. I couldn’t afford to get my hopes up, only to be let down once again. There was only so much I could take.

Besides, there was so much else to do. Wylan’s birthday party was fast approaching, and I hadn’t even begun to work on my costume. I quite enjoyed the theme, if I was being honest. Star Wars had been one of the movie series that all of my siblings and I could agree upon as being fun to watch. My father used to gather all of us up on rainy days during the late spring, when the Tennessee River had flooded the main roads and we couldn’t get anywhere that wasn’t in our own neighborhood. He would make a large bowl of popcorn and let us marathon one of the trilogies. It was likely just a ploy to keep us kids out of our mother’s hair, but we all looked forward to it regardless. Something about Star Wars had encaptured all of our young minds, and brought us all a little closer together.

Now, the question remained - who was I going to go as? On top of that, what was I going to get Wylan for his birthday? I had only met him once, and those circumstances had been rather unfortunate, in terms of making a first impression. Safiya had said that we didn’t have to get him anything, but it went against the manners I had been taught growing up to arrive empty-handed. Besides, I should at least thank him for not ratting me and Idalia out. Maybe I’d simply get him a card, to do just that.  

My first question, however, was something I could actively work on, and something that took far less emotional energy to figure out. I pushed myself to my feet, grabbing my phone and striding across the floor to my door in a matter of seconds, not waiting to hear it close behind me as I made my way down to the room I had heard a lot of the other girls mention when talking about costumes for the party. Perhaps I could find some inspiration there.

It took me a while to find it, but I couldn’t keep my eyes from going wide once I did. The entire room was just filled to the brim with different fabrics - on mannequins, in baskets, on tables. It was like nothing I’d ever seen before! I bet Missy would really enjoy this. The corners of my lips twitched upwards briefly as I recalled my encounter with the sweet girl from Midston in the kitchens a week or so ago. I was willing to bet she was rather familiar with this kind of environment, given her line of work.

A flurry of motion caught my eye, dragging my attention away from the sheer, salmon-colored fabric I had been studying up until that moment. At one of the big tables in the center of the room sat Leana, who was now smiling and waving at me. I had only really spoken to Leana once, and that had been more in passing than anything else. It also hadn’t been one of my shining moments, to say the least.

I offered her a small smile in return, walking over towards the table she was seated at with another woman, who I assumed was one of her maids. There was a chance that Leana wouldn’t even remember our brief encounter, after all. I might as well be polite. “Hello! Leana, right?”

She immediately nodded. “Hello! I know you are Evalin, the one with the basket gifts,” she replied with a chuckle. So she did remember the one time we had conversed prior to this, then. Already, this conversation was going worse than I had hoped it would be. That had to be a new record, even for me.

I felt the blood rushing to my cheeks as I responded, “Right, that.” I dropped my eye contact with her, looking first to the side, and then back to the table I now stood in front of. There had to be something else to talk about, a different topic of conversation that didn’t make me want to crawl back to my room as I remembered all the mistakes I had made over the past few months. “What are you working on?”

Leana looked down, biting her lip. “Oh, I’m not really doing anything. She’s the talented one here” - her eyes darted to the side, towards where her maid sat - “It’s about the costume for the party.” At the mention of the upcoming function, her voice dropped to little more than a whisper. It was smart, I realized. You never knew who might be listening, after all. We wouldn’t want to ruin the surprise for Wylan, especially not after Safiya had put so much effort into planning it.

“Don’t worry,” I reassured her with a small smile. “I’m here for the same reason, though I’ll admit I haven’t given a ton of thought to who I’m going to go as yet.” That much was the whole truth. I had already been running through an exhaustive list of female characters from Star Wars movies, but every time I settled on one, I’d think up a reason as to why it wouldn’t work. It was getting more frustrating than it was worth, if I was being honest with myself. Perhaps I just wouldn’t dress up. That’d certainly be easier.

Leana hummed thoughtfully, tilting her head towards the left. “Which are your options?”

“I was thinking about going as Jyn Erso, but dressing as her would feel so different from what we normally wear here,” was the response I finally settled on, laughing ever so slightly, though the sound was hollow and tinny to my ears. I really liked the character of Jyn Erso - found her rather relatable in some aspects, in fact - but I just knew that some of the other girls would be showing up in beautifully designed dresses, having given this facet of the party a good deal of thought. If I showed up as Jyn Erso, how out of place was I going to feel? Plus, there was the fact that I looked nothing like Jyn to begin with.

“Well, I think that’s pretty much the point,” Leana replied with a laugh. “Space warriors in a palace - it will be fun!” Her tone was unfailingly positive and upbeat. She was likely an optimist, then. Interesting, considering the dark sides of reality than many people in her field of study tended to uncover. Her demeanor reminded me a bit of my younger brother Randall’s personality, namely the manner in which she held onto the hope that the world was innately good.

You’re analyzing this with way too much depth.

“True.” I inclined my head to the right, biting the inside of my cheek before looking at Leana again. With a small laugh, I attempted to explain myself. “Something about wearing cargo pants in the palace just feels so odd, though.”

“Better than a hairy chewy costume,” she shot back without hesitation, snickering. “I will be going as Rey, so it’s an easy, comfortable one.” At least I wasn’t going to be the only one not in a super fancy gown, then. The thought was reassuring. The way Leana’s smile faltered once she finished speaking, however, was not comforting in the slightest.

I felt my own smile soften as I looked at her. She must have a memory tied to the character of Rey, then. Did it make her homesick, or was there something more to her reaction? I didn’t want to pry, but out of anybody here, I was sure she would be the most likely to understand my own curiosity. “Have you dressed up for themed parties like this before?”

“Yes, college parties could be wild.” With a smile and a sideways glance in my direction, she continued, “What about you? You are still in college too, right?”

“Yes,” I replied instantly, weekends spent with June and Lukas flashing before my eyes like a PowerPoint slideshow on double speed,  “and the parties can indeed be pretty crazy.”

I had never been a big party person in high school. I knew that they were happening, but I didn’t know where, or any of the specifics, for that matter. Parties were June’s thing. I was never invited. It hadn’t been until college that I had finally let June drag me out a few times, and I had definitely allowed myself to loosen up a bit in those scenarios. Many games of spin the bottle, stack cup, and chicken in the pool littered my memory, tinged with a slight alcohol induced haze. The one event June would never let me live down, though, had occurred at the beginning of the fall semester my sophomore year, when I had gotten into a shot contest with a couple of fraternity boys at a darty. I remembered taking eight shots, but I had blacked out immediately after that. According to June, though, that hadn’t stopped me from continuing, and ultimately winning the competition, only to promptly ask her to drive me back to her house, where I had for all intents and purposes passed out in her bed.

That experience had definitely been a mistake, and I was still unsure how I hadn’t died of alcohol poisoning that night, but I found myself grinning nonetheless. Yet, there was one common trend that set these college parties apart from the ones Leana had apparently been to. My grin quickly turned to a frown. “Though I didn’t go to many, and the ones I did go to weren’t really themed like this is.”

“Yeah, I was practically dragged by my friend to them.” She shrugged as I marveled at how similar our experiences could have been, if that was true. As my frown turned back into a smile, her smile turned into a frown. “You’re still in college, right? Biology?”

What about my major had her frowning? Had she heard something about my situation with Proctor through the grapevine? I was sure she had an exhaustive list of sources who would somehow be privy to such information. The thought didn’t sit well with me, but I did my best to push it aside. I’d deal with it another time.

“My best friend was the same way. She was the only reason I really ever got out of the lab.” The thought of June brought a smile to my face, but the expression didn’t linger long as my thoughts turned back to my work under Proctor - or rather, just Proctor’s work, now, I supposed. “I’m a biology major, though, yes. You study journalism, right?”

Leana nodded along, interjecting with a chuckle every now and then until I finished speaking. At that point, she pressed her lips together, almost apprehensive as she began to answer my own question to her. “Yes, I do. I’m also working for a newspaper.” A smile briefly flitted across her face, but it sputtered out as quickly as it had been lit into existence.

“That’s awesome!” She was working, doing something she enjoyed, and making a name for herself. It was quite respectable, in my opinion. “What kind of articles do you write, if you don’t mind my asking?”

She blinked, but then answered, “I’m currently writing for the digital blog covering events, concerts and interviewing famous people.” Her smile didn’t reach her eyes, as if she wasn't exactly enthusiastic about any of the work she was doing. Why would she be doing it then? Surely it was time consuming. If it wasn’t what she wanted to do, why didn’t she focus on another pursuit that made her happier? She was younger than me, if I remembered correctly, so it shouldn’t be too late for her to change her major, or her career, if she wanted to.

Leana took a trick out of my book then, and quickly changed the topic of conversation. “What about you? What are you working on in the lab?”

Currently, nothing. “My professor and I were working on cancer research using genetics, but,” I paused, pondering whether or not it was worth it to attempt to explain the whole situation to Leana. If anybody already knew about it, or was going to find out about it at some point, it would be her. She might as well hear it from the horse’s mouth, I supposed. “I’m sure she’s continued it without me there, even though it was my idea. It’s not like I would’ve gotten any of the credit anyway, though.” I finished with a sigh, shrugging. There was simply nothing I could do about it, at this point. I had made my bed. Now, I had to lie in it.

She raised her eyebrows, and then frowned. “What do you mean? If it was your idea there must be a way to take the credit you deserve.”

If only she knew. I simply shook my head, giving Leana a small close lipped smile. “She’s in charge, and she’s in the lab right now, and I’m not, nor do I think I’ll ever be in her lab again, no matter how this ends.” I waved my hand through the air dismissively, hoping that the gesture in and of itself would bring an end to the conversation

I should’ve known better than that. Leana blinked a few times, pursing her lips for a while before speaking. “Okay, wait, I just have to ask,” she paused, her voice softer when she continued, “why did you leave her with the project in the first place?”

As if I had a choice! What was I going to do, fly a whole lab with me from Carolina to Angeles? I frowned. “Well, it was done in her lab, which she’s in charge of, so I didn’t have much of a say in the matter.”

“But why can’t you come back to it?” She bobbed her head, at the same time that I came to the realization that I really hadn’t explained that portion of it well. “Well if things turn out that way.”

I winced, knowing I would have to try to explain further, while still being as vague as possible, so as not to incriminate myself in any way. “We had a falling out of sorts before I left to come here, and I don’t think there’s any coming back from it,” I began, shaking my head, “but there’s other jobs out there, right?”

Leana opened her mouth, but then closed it again, pursing her lips slightly. “Um, yes I guess there are.”

Change the subject, now! “So, you’re still writing, even with being here, and all?”

She sighed, shaking her head dismissively. “I have been writing things about all the work that’s done here. Learning a little bit about everything, but I don’t have a purpose for it yet.” Despite the end of her last sentence, she was grinning. She definitely liked writing the. So why had she seemed so unhappy with her job earlier?

I decided to focus on her project instead, narrowing my eyes as I attempted to conceptualize what she was describing. “Like a little memoir, of sorts?”

She nodded. “Yeah, or a little behind the scenes.” She shrugged, pausing to smile before adding, “I like to write about the things no one really sees, but now I have been considering including some good life stories I have learned as well.” Her eyes darted to and from the various people working around us. The palace staff did indeed have interesting life stories, from what I had heard from the ones I had interacted with. I was certain whatever Leana was writing would do them justice, and make an good read.

I had to smile. “I like it. I think there’s a lot to be learned from the lives of others.”

“You think?” One of her eyebrows shot up her forehead. Is it really so surprising to hear me say something like that? I supposed it must be, which didn’t leave me with a great taste in my mouth. “Would you read something like it?”

I nodded enthusiastically, intent on making sure Leana understood the truth of the matter. “For sure! I think it’d be really interesting to learn more about the lives of the people here.”

For a moment, we sat in silence, me attempting to smile, and Leana biting her lip. You could’ve heard a pin drop, which was odd for the palace, to say the least. I had grown so accustomed to the flurry of activity and words casually being tossed around that the absence of that energy almost had me on edge.

Thankfully, Leana spoke up, her voice quiet as she offered me a small smile. “I would like to write a story where the nice biologist comes back to the lab and fights for some rights.”

Her intentions were good, I was sure, and yet the statement had me reeling. The thought of facing Proctor again seemed so improbable, so unlikely, that it was hard to even imagine. Even if I was eliminated, which I was sure was likely, given the odds, I couldn’t picture myself simply returning to life as it had used to be. I wanted to continue my studies, of course, but maybe it was time to branch out a bit, and consider other universities. Proctor might have a big reach nationally, but what about abroad? That might be an option I’d have to look into.

Another daydream tantalized me from the periphery of my mind, flitting in and out of focus. The image of me, returning to Knoxville as the winner of the Selection, and taking back what Proctor was attempting to take from me was undeniably desirable. I radiated a certain level of power in that scenario, like I knew I was successful and wasn’t about to let anybody give me grief about it. It was the impression I had always wanted to have on others, I realized. Did I really need to win this to become that, though? I’d already gained so much from being here for this long. Maybe Leana had a point.

I flashed her a smile, though it was forced and tense. “Believe me, if I had my professor’s reputation and respect in the field, I would argue my case. Thank you, though.”

“Yes, I get that, it’s just scary to think about a plan B after you put all the effort in the plan A.” A look of worry flashed across her face as she sighed, dropping her gaze back down towards the table.

I couldn’t stop myself, exhaling through my nose as I nodded in agreement. “I can understand you on that one. Do you have a plan B?” The words flew out of my mouth before I even had the chance to consider that her worry was likely about just that. “You don’t have to answer that if you don’t want to!”

Leana just let out a sad chuckle, her eyes flicking back up to mine. “I’m at the point where I don’t know which is which. What about you?”

I had to consider that for a moment. Plan A had always been the same for me - go to college, get my degree, get a research job, move out, get a dog, get married, maybe have a child or two - “the American dream,” I believed my grandfather had referred to it as. Being Selected had thrown a bit of a wrench in that, though. There had been moments of clarity, for sure - like after that first date with Arin, when I had been sure he was about to send me home. My old plan A had stood out in my mind then. After the kiss, though, I wasn’t so sure. Maybe I was simply a naive fool, sure, but I couldn’t deny that I felt something for Arin. Yet, I wasn’t entirely certain that that set a new plan A, in which I won Arin’s heart and in turn this Selection, and figured the rest out from there, in stone. Once again, the odds weren’t in my favor.

“I’m pretty much in the same boat, I’m afraid,” I answered with a sigh. “I never pictured it’d come to this.” I really hadn’t thought I’d make it this far.

“I’m sorry.”

I almost laughed as the words left Leana’s mouth. That was my line! On top of that, she had no reason to be sorry. It wasn’t her fault that I had gotten myself into this mess.

Was this what I sounded like to everybody else?

“I hope you figure things out,” she continued. “Maybe Prince Arin could help.” Her voice went up a few notes at the end of her sentence, making it sound more like a question than a piece of advice.

Could he? The concept of Arin doing anything for me felt so foreign that I couldn’t even picture him in the same room as Proctor. The more I had thought about it after my conversation with Idalia, the more I had realized how little of a give-and-take there was between Arin and I. I was left with a lot of questions that he wouldn’t answer, and even if he had questions for me, he wouldn’t ask them, and depending on what they were, I also probably wouldn’t answer. Maybe we were really just that bad for each other.

You know he doesn’t love you, right?

Lukas’s voice echoed through my head, rattling against the walls of my mind like an angry bee caught under a plastic cup. I didn’t know whether or not Arin even liked me, and despite Idalia’s advice, I was much too afraid to ever ask him as much outright. There was a kind side to Arin, I was still sure of that. He had helped me with my nosebleed, and he had been willing to recommend me books, and possibly even read my own research, but thinking that over, it all seemed so lackluster. Noncommittal. Not that I could blame him for not committing to any of us, at this point. Not when the entire nation was watching him attempt to date thirty-five girls with the goal of making one of them his wife. After all, I myself had even told him that ending the Selection now would make him look hasty and rash.

I had really played myself in saying that, hadn’t I?

I let out a breathy laugh, dragging myself out of the recesses of my own mind. “Maybe, but I’m not counting on it.” I couldn’t count on it, truly.

“We never know,” Leana replied with a chuckle, shrugging ever so slightly.

I shook my head, relating to that statement more than she could possibly know, I was sure. “Does anyone ever know what to expect from him?”

“I know.” She frowned for a moment, but it quickly turned into a small smile, laced with something akin to sympathy. “He's a bit complicated.”

“Yeah.” I nodded, making a mental note to nominate that sentence for Understatement of the Year. I remembered a previous conversation with Arin, spoken over two cups of bourbon in an alcove. With a wry laugh, I finished, “He’s working on it, though.”

“True, I noticed that too.” As she spoke, Leana began fidgeting with the ends of her hair, twisting and rubbing them this way and that between her fingertips. Did her hair not knot when she did that? I had never thought I would be so jealous of the protein structure of somebody else’s hair, and yet here I was.

Leana continued, unfazed by my staring. “Just the mixed messages have me confused at times.”

I could get behind that statement - I had had multiple conversations about as much, recently. With an enthusiastic nod, I replied, “Agreed. Some days, I feel like we might genuinely have a connection, and others, I can’t figure out why he hasn’t sent me home yet.”

She snickered, the sound almost out of place in the otherwise silent room. “Sorry,” she said again, “it's just that I have that last thought a lot.”

Well, I was glad it wasn’t just me, then, but I still couldn’t help but feel bad that he was putting all of us through this. I could understand him leaving me baffled - I was book smart, but not people smart in the slightest. I got confused by almost anyone who I hadn’t known for a good while. For someone like Leana, though, who was in a line of work where interpersonal communication must be one of her strong suits, to be so confused by Arin, spoke volumes.

Leana forged on yet again. “But a connection huh? That sounds good!”

“No worries!” I laughed along, though I was beginning to wonder if I should have phrased my words differently. My smile began to fall before I could stop myself, and reign in my emotions. “Yeah, sometimes we get along very well. I’m sorry he has you feeling so confused, though. It’s frustrating.” And relatable.

She waved her hand through the air, the dismissive gesture one that I often caught myself making. “No, it's not really! I just think too much.” She must have noticed how surprised her words have left me this time, because after a moment, she decided to ask, “Something bad happened?”

“Oh, no!” I shook my head, forcing a smile to return to my face. I didn’t need Leana worrying about me, on top of Clemence and Idalia already having that job more than covered, apparently. Besides, Leana was beginning to remind me a lot of myself, which meant she probably had enough on her mind as it was. “I was asking more about you. Sorry for the confusion!”

“You are sweet,” she responded with a laugh. “Don't worry, I will be fine.”

I smiled, feeling something start to buzz in my pocket. My phone. That was odd. Normally my family called on the weekends, unless it was an emergency.

I needed to leave, and quickly.

“Noted,” I said to Leana, taking a few slow steps backwards towards the door. “If you ever do need anything though, you know where to find me!”

I could only hope she knew that I meant it.

Her responding smile did much to assuage that concern. “Thank you, Evalin. I hope to see you at the party!”

“Likewise,” I replied, smiling as I turned on my heel and made my way towards the door.

As soon as I knew I was out of sight of the door, I fished around in my pocket for my phone, squinting as the light of the screen hit my eyes. The number was familiar, but not one of my family members. I practically sighed with relief before more questions began churning in my mind.

The number belonged to the corded phone in Proctor’s lab. That machine was so old that half of the time the other college students and I ripped into her for even keeping it in the lab after her lab had been renovated the year before I began my freshman year at university. Was she calling to gloat, then? It wouldn’t be entirely out of character for her to do so, and yet, it was late back in Carolina. She shouldn’t even be awake around this time.

With a sigh, and one last glance at the number, I picked up the call. “Hello?”

My blood turned to ice at the voice on the other end of the line. “Oh, Evalin! Thank God!”

Not Proctor. Not my father. My mouth was almost too dry to form words. “Lukas.”

“It’s good to hear your voice.” How he sounded so cheerful, like nothing had ever happened between the two of us, like we had never even fought, was beyond me. He had to be wilfully ignoring it. There was no other explanation.

“I can’t say the same,” I replied, swallowing. I had been spending more of my mental energy thinking about Lukas than I would have liked to after the kiss with Arin. It wasn’t that I felt the same for Lukas that I felt for Arin - quite the opposite, in fact. Something about kissing Arin, however, had brought back the memory of the last time I had been kissed.

Lukas. Under the mistletoe. In the lab.

Ever since then, I had been reevaluating my friendship with him. Or rather, what I had thought had been a friendship. I had never assumed it was anything more. I had never felt that way for him, and I definitely didn’t now. However, it was beginning to seem more and more likely that he had felt that way for me. Maybe he had even thought we were something more.

I wasn’t going to be the one to suck up my pride and ask him.

“Why are you calling?” I kept walking as I talked, letting my feet lead me down hallways and around corners, no destination in mind. I barely even knew where I was, if I was being honest. Every now and then, I’d pass someone from the palace staff, inevitably carrying half a million things in their arms, who’d shoot me a perplexed look, but move on without questioning me further.

On the other end of the line, Lukas sighed. “Well, you wouldn’t pick up my calls.”

“I know,” I replied, turning another corner. “I blocked you.”

He was silent, save for his breathing. Then, “Things are getting bad here.”

My eyebrows rose, unamused. “How so?”

“Your father had an argument with Proctor the other day. I don’t know if he even realized that I was there.”

“Well,” I began, attempting to suppress the laugh I had almost barked out, “Can you blame him? Or has she not told you any of the shit she’s done to mess up my life?”

“You could have prevented this.” His voice was softer, which somehow grated my nerves. Did he expect me to feel sorry for him? He and I had been put in the same position by Proctor, we had just chosen different answers. Yes, I was suffering for it now, but I would survive. The world was more than just Proctor’s lab. I knew that now.

“Could I have?”

His voice cracked. “You could have come home.”

Just like that, I was thrown back into the memory of when I had first met Lukas. It had been our physics lab, freshman year. Paired together because our last names were close together alphabetically, I hadn’t thought much of him at first. He hadn’t smiled the entire fifty minutes we had been in class that day - not that I had cared much, seeing as someone who took the class seriously was more likely to get a good grade. It wasn’t until I had thrust my phone in his direction and prompted him to enter his number that I had seen any flicker of emotion on his face. A flash of surprise. Then he had entered his number.

After that, our friendship had started to take form. First, it had been a common major, and a shared interest in biology at the cellular level. Then he had offered to run with me and June, framing it as an added layer of safety for the two of us. Later, we had realized that we both had Swendish grandparents. His still lived in Swendway, in fact. He had said he wasn’t very close with them, but he had still learned bits and pieces of the language when his father had lived with him and his mother.

From what I could gather, his father had been in and out of Lukas’s life for quite a few years, and he had been raised mostly by his mother, on her own. I didn’t know the full story, nor did I want to press him for details. He could tell me when he was ready, or at this point, he could tell me never. As selfish as I felt about thinking it, it really wasn’t my problem. We all faced challenges in our lives, and we all handled them differently. I was of the opinion that he hadn’t handled them well. Perhaps that made me the asshole. I really couldn’t bring myself to care.

“Arin hasn’t seen fit to send me home yet,” I responded, my face neutral as I continued walking, staring straight down an empty hallway.

“Arin.” He practically spat out the name, his tone harder now. “You’re on a first-name basis now?”

I blinked. “Yes. I would hope to be on a first name basis with the man I might end up marrying one day, if that's the decision we come to at the end of this.”

“Oh,” he laughed. “So, you haven’t listened to a single word I’ve said, then?”

You know he doesn’t love you, right?

I had heard him loud and clear.

“Why are you calling?” I hated how tight my voice sounded. Water. I needed water. Water would help. There would be water in the kitchen. How did I get there from here, wherever here was?

“I heard Proctor tell your father that she looked forward to seeing his ghost wandering the halls of the biology building, at the end of their argument.” He cleared his throat, the sound so familiar it almost hurt. “I just thought you should know.”

I felt the color drain from my face, even as I replied, “Oh, good, so if he shows up dead somewhere, you can testify against Proctor in court.” Or do you not have the balls to do that, either?

I shouldn’t be this mad at him. A few months ago, I wouldn’t have been able to stand up to her either. I still wasn’t entirely sure what had compelled me to stand my ground the day before I had left for Angeles.

“I wouldn’t have to if you’d just come home, and forget this stupid fairytale fantasy of yours. You’ve done it! You’ve proven that you’re invaluable to us, easily likeable, and a face the world will be watching for the rest of the century.” His breathing was heavy on the other end of the line.

The door to the kitchen came into view. How had I even ended up here? I had been looking for this room, yes, but I hadn’t known where I was before. Maybe some higher power was looking out for me after all.

“That’s besides the point,” I argued, rolling my eyes as I walked into the kitchen. “Look -”

“Shit.” Silence. Then, “I’ve got to go.”

I opened my mouth to say something more, but the line had already gone dead. Just like that, he was gone, a phantom left in my memory only once more.

You know he doesn’t love you, right?

I had no idea.

#selectionoc

[self-proclaimed-chaotic-good]

Run Away with Me | Bodhi Rook x Reader (Oneshot)

Word Prompt: Pining

Words: 2612

Fandom: Rogue One (Star Wars)

Summary: Growing up with Bodhi Rook, you had ideas of what kind of future you wanted, but life doesn’t always go according to plan. If it was meant to be, you will meet each other again. Title inspired by Eastside by Benny Blanco, Halsey, and Khalid

-

It was your neighbor, Bodhi Rook, that started your fascination with the stars. You remembered late nights where the two of you would climb onto the roof and trace out patterns in the sky. Then, you’d listen to him plan out how he’ll reach those stars, becoming a pilot and explore.

The two of you were young at the time and didn’t really have an idea of what was going on around you. To you, the world was just you, Bodhi, the sands of Jedha, and the stars above. Bodhi would even say that he’d take you anywhere once he became a pilot and have his own ship. The way the stars reflected in his eyes, it was hard to say no.

Then, you had to move away. Your parents were restless and you didn’t know why. How could you? The world you saw didn’t include politics and war. You thought your father was a simple businessman, a trader, who would travel to different moons and planets to earn money for the family. Turns out, it started that way, until he realized how much more money he could earn from being a smuggler. His contacts increased, the credits increased, and the danger increased. And somehow, along the way, he had crossed a member of the Empire.

It was no longer safe for your family in Jedha. You didn’t even get to say goodbye.

-

Being a smuggler’s daughter has its pros and cons. You found out what you were good at, negotiations, creating alliances, and reading people, and you were quick to learn how to use a blaster. Plus, you get to explore and see different worlds, meet various species, and learn different languages. This wasn’t exactly what you wanted, but smugglers can’t be choosers.

You had heard about the Empire occupying Jedha and your mind went immediately to Bodhi. Is he safe? Is he still on Jedha? Did he ever get to become a pilot like he wanted? It had been years since you saw him and you try to shake it off as a childhood crush that you needed to get over. What are the chances in this vast universe of seeing him again?

You often follow your father during the meet ups while your mother stayed on the ship, running it for a quick getaway. With you by his side, you were able to play good smuggler, bad smuggler to get the deal you wanted. Only when he knew it would work, of course. Some species or settlements were more violent than others, so he taught you how to pick and choose your battles.

“Sometimes a deal isn’t worth it,” he had said.

One day, your father caught a virus from another planet and it would take weeks or months to recover. So, your mother stayed behind with him on a neutral planet while you went off on your own. You took on simple jobs to start off with, but traveling alone was driving you mad, so you managed to buy a scraped up droid and found some spare parts to fix her up. Desa, you called her, because of the faint red and brown paint that reminded you of the deserts and mesas of Jedha. Now, it was just you and her.

-

You couldn’t believe that the Empire was able to build something as destructible as the Death Star, powered by the kyber crystals that they had mined from Jedha and the other planets that they probably occupied. Jedha was merely a test subject for their new toy. Your home was gone. You remembered looking up at the stars, tracing patterns in the sky, hoping that your stargazer friend escaped. At this point, you weren’t even sure if he was still alive.

You tried your best to remain neutral throughout your jobs, only accepting deals that won’t drastically compromise your stance. After what they had done, you were definitely against the Empire and only prayed that something would be done to stop them before more people die and homes obliterated.

It was getting harder not to pick a side. The more you travel, the more people you see that were just trying to survive. Suddenly, it wasn’t just illegal weapons and materials that needed smuggling, it was people. Families trying to escape the war. You couldn’t just let them die.

“It’s your call,” Desa said, “I will follow.”

Just like that, you were smuggling refugees to safer planets and moons, settlements that were welcoming them in and fought against the Empire. You try your best to save as much as you can, avoiding both stormtroopers and Rebels along the way. You didn’t always succeed. Some were lost causes, some were so close to a safe haven.

“We just need hope to keep us going,” a mother said to her family.

The settlement that you took them to were attacked a few weeks later. You almost wrecked the ship when you found out, but Desa had easily restrained you until you calmed down, collapsing in her cold metal arms.

You later hear in the corner of a shady tavern that the Resistance managed to destroy the Death Star. The war was still raging, but at least the looming threat was gone.

-

“I don’t do these kinds of jobs, Edwards,” you told one of your contacts.

A contact that you’ve known for years had recently joined the Rebel Alliance and contacted you for a smuggling job. You gave it a shot and met him on a neutral planet in one of their taverns, finding the man in a corner booth. It was then when he proposed a job that would help the Rebels against the Empire, involving using your ship to transport some of their men for their missions.

“But, I’ve heard that you’ve been specializing in… people,” Edwards said, low enough so that only the two of you could hear.

You sighed, looking over at Desa who shrugged stiffly. “I don’t do escorts,” you repeated to him.

“We’ll pay you for each trip,” he insisted, sliding a datapad towards you, showing you his offer.

It was a lot, more than three jobs of smuggling a refugee family. Funds were running low as your ship was getting older and more repairs needed to be done. It would be easier to buy a new ship, but you were sentimental and it was your first ship that you bought with your father.

“It’s your call,” Desa said.

“I knew you would say that,” you muttered, sliding the datapad back. You drummed your fingers on the table and leaned back, adjusting your leather jacket. “How many groups?”

Edwards shook his head. “Just one. Rogue One,” he said.

“Never heard of them.”

“They’re the crew that infiltrated Scarif and stole the Death Star blueprints that helped the Alliance take it down,” he whispered, looking around for people listening in.

“And why do you need my ship?”

“Everyone sees you as a neutral party, a simple smuggler. Their U-Wing and cargo ship are recognized by certain groups that are affiliated with the Empire and those who holds a grudge on them from a mission or two. I’ll tell you the details of their mission only if you accept.”

You sighed again. “Fine.”

The next morning you waited by the docking area, Desa scanning the area with a metal hands wrapped around a blaster rifle. It was ten minutes passed the promised meet up time when Edwards finally appeared with cloaked figures trailing behind him. You adjusted your stance, readying for any potential threats.

“Edwards,” you greeted the man.

“(Y/n), this is the crew I was talking about. I’m sure you’ve received their mission briefing,” he said, gesturing to the group behind them. One figure in particular looked restless.

“I have. Show me your hands,” you ordered, eyeing the group. Desa poised her rifle, warning them to not test her.

“Do as she says,” Edwards told them calmly.

They slowly raised their hands, showing them empty. When Desa was satisfied, she nodded at you. “Alright. My ship, my rules. If anything arises that goes against the deal, it’s over and I’ll either eject you into space or drop you off at the nearest neutral settlement. Depends on the occasion,” you said.

One person nodded, stepping forward, revealing a man with soft brown hair and a stubble wearing a blue fur parka and a blaster strapped to his leg. “I’m Captain Cassian Andor,” he said, shaking your hand, then gestured towards the tall thin figure, “That’s K-2SO.”

“I’m perfectly capable of introducing myself,” the droid snipped.

“Reprogrammed Imperial droid, huh?” you said, impressed, “Nice to meet you. Come aboard.”

Cassian nodded, his droid friend following him into your ship. The next two figures seem to be a package deal. “I’m Baze Malbus and this is Chirrut Imwe. Thank you for helping us,” the taller one said. You nodded and they climbed into the ship.

“I’m Jyn,” the woman said, not bothering to shake hands, “And if you ever cross us-”

“The same goes to you, too,” you replied, “And don’t worry, I never take contracts that conflict with each other. You have my word that no warm will come to your crew from us unless it’s from self defense.”

Jyn was satisfied with this, offering you her hand. You shook it firmly and shared a smile with her before she climbed in behind the two monks. You were finally face to face with the last of their crew, but you felt like you knew them already. The hooded figure shuffled up to you and launched forward. Desa readied her rifle, but you held a hand up to stop her.

“I missed you,” Bodhi cried, holding you tightly.

Your eyes began to sting as you hugged him back. Your stargazer friend. Your first love. He was here holding you. “Oh, Bodhi,” you breathed, “Let’s continue this inside, yeah?”

He wiped his eyes and nodded. You turned to Edwards who was silently watching the whole thing. “Did you know?” you asked him.

“I suspected. I knew you were originally from Jedha and he was, too. He had the same habit as you, looking up at the stars with a faroff expression,” he said, stepping away, “This is where I leave you, until next time.” He held his arm out.

“Alright, take care of yourself, Edwards,” you said, grabbing his forearm firmly before pulling away.

He nodded. “May the force with you.”

-

The mission ran smoothly and you found that you worked well with the crew. Five people and a droid, they were a force to be reckoned with. With Cassian’s leadership and Jyn’s assertiveness, the monks’ fighting skills, K2’s diverse skill set, and Bodhi’s flying skills, you understood how they lead a battle on Scarif even when outnumbered.

Bodhi had proudly told you that he became a pilot, though under the Empire as a cargo pilot, but he had been the one to send the message to the Rebellion about the Death Star plans. You assigned him as your copilot without a thought, hoping that you wouldn’t get distracted by Bodhi’s flying competency.

When the mission was over, you flew them over to the Rebel base on Yavin with a sinking feeling in your stomach. You had never gotten so attached to a contract before. Well, you never had spent this much time with your contract before. They had become your comrade and your friends and Bodhi… you thought your feelings for Bodhi were reduced to friendship, but they were merely dormant.

You carefully landed the ship after getting clearance while you tried to keep your expressions neutral. You opened the ramp, allowing them to climb out while a small team of medics rushed over to check on the crew. Desa placed a hand on your shoulder as you looked over at Bodhi. He had moved to the back of the ship, helping K2 and Baze unload their bags. One particular bag was too heavy for him, so Baze gently pushed him aside and grabbed the bag for him.

“Bodhi told us about you,” Jyn said, suddenly appearing next to you.

You jumped and cleared your throat. “Good things, I hope,” you joked, covering up how startled you were.

“Nothing but good things,” she said, “He would tell us how attentive you are, how you were kind and patient enough to listen to his ramblings about the stars, and how the stars were reflected in your eyes. He’s still lovestruck with you, (Y/n), and I’ve seen the way you two look at each other. Honestly, I had a bet with K2 about who would break first during the mission, but you two idiots don’t even know that you’re both in love with each other.”

You forced out a laugh. “I’ll admit I had a crush on Bodhi when I was younger, but it’s been years since I’d seen him. People change,” you defended, crossing your arms.

Jyn sighed, standing up and made her way over to the ramp. You followed her and looked out to take in the Rebel base for the first time. These people of different backgrounds, different species, different planets, fighting to be free from the Empire’s tyranny. And Bodhi was in the middle of it. He always wanted to explore, become a pilot, and help people. He finally got what he wanted.

Cassian finished talking to the general and walked back to the ship. He smiled at you and said, “We could always use someone like you,” he said.

You shake your head. “I don’t…,” you trailed off, looking over at Desa, then at Bodhi who was adjusting his new goggles. Two young men rushed up to help with the cargo and Bodhi slipped into an authoritative mode. He looked like he belonged here. He was no longer the boy that you shared a roof with. You weren’t sure that there was room for you in his new world.

“Think about it,” Cassian said, noticing your hesitation, “You are always welcomed here.”

You nodded, shaking his hand. “Thank you, Captain Andor.”

“Please, it’s just Cassian, now.”

He turned to address his crew while you slipped away into your ship. Bodhi had finished ordering where to place the cargo and listing the repairs needed in their equipment when he heard the engine of your ship starting. His head whipped around, his goggles almost falling off his head as the ramp was raised. His throat tightened as he pushed through his crew and the medics, trying to get back to you. He just got you back.

“The force works in mysterious ways,” Chirrut said, squeezing his shoulder in comfort as you flew off, “If the force wills it so, (Y/n) will come back.”

Bodhi nodded, watching you leave and unable to say goodbye or tell you to stay for the second time in his life. After you left, there were many things he was able to achieve, but they just weren’t how he imagined it to be. You weren’t there with him.

He had planned to learn how to fly, get a ship, and whisk you away from the cold desert moon. It was all part of the ideas that you and him used to plan on that roof all those years ago when the world was just you, and him, the sand from the desert, and the stars above. If the force had allowed the two of you to meet again, he held onto the hope that you would come back. It could be like old times, meeting on the roof of a ship after the sun had set and gaze at the stars.

#writersmonth2019 #Bodhi Rook x Reader #Bodhi Rook #rogue one imagine #Star wars imagine #riz ahmed imagine #riz ahmed #My wifi was down and writer's block hit me at the same time #I'm two days behind in this writer's month

[sesamestreep]

with a little love, a little love, a little love

(read on Ao3)

SUMMARY: Cassian can honestly say that he hadn't imagined how he and Jyn might get engaged someday. He just didn't think they were there yet. But even if he'd imagined the weirdest scenario possible, he feels pretty confident in saying he never could have predicted the proposal would involve the phrase "insider trading". [AKA Jyn and Cassian and a little bit of season 3 of The Newsroom]

A/N: Another day, another installment of The Newsroom AU. But seriously, I think the series is done after this, for sure. I actually wrote this for my dear @taxicabsandcupcakes​ for her birthday celebration! She’s the best and she’s my favorite person to talk about writing (and basically anything else) with. Happy birthday, my dear!

Jyn has been perusing her menu in almost complete silence—with the exception of the sound her butter knife is making as she taps it against an empty plate—for going on five minutes when Cassian finally snaps.

“Jyn,” he says, suddenly enough that she actually startles, “what is the matter?”

“Nothing,” she replies, too casually. “Have you decided what you want yet?”

“I’m still thinking it over. Am I holding you up?”

“Take your time,” she says, waving a hand at him but not quite making eye contact.

Cassian sighs and reaches across the table for her hand, which just makes her look at him in alarm, but at least she’s looking at him. “I thought we agreed not to let this ruin our entire day,” he says, quietly.

“It’s just—” Jyn starts to say, before cutting herself off with a frustrated noise. “The last time we had an emergency staff meeting was when we had to retract Scarif.”

“I know. But the bright side is, there’s no way this meeting can be worse than that one.”

“Are you sure about that?” She asks, seriously, and the truth is, he isn’t.

They’d both gotten an email from Mon this morning, addressed to the entire news division, asking them all to attend an emergency staff meeting at 1:30. This would have been concerning enough even if it hadn’t been followed by an immediate group text message from Leia to most of the senior staff, asking them to check their emails, but the text really pushed the situation into a new level of stress. Clearly, everything was not alright. 

It didn’t make for an auspicious start to their Saturday, especially when he and Jyn had barely seen each other all week and were supposed to be making up for that lost time. He’d spent more time at his own apartment in Queens this week than he had in months, because they had each been working crazy hours chasing down sources for rapidly developing stories and, even though it would have been easier to crash at Jyn’s place, he didn’t want her to feel like he was just using her for her conveniently-located Midtown apartment. Barely a year ago, he would have said he couldn’t imagine living in Manhattan; he likes to think the physical distance between him and the office helps create some semblance of work-life balance. But this week—and much longer than that, if he’s being completely honest—he’s been trying to figure out how to broach the subject of their living situation with Jyn. Because he’s, quite frankly, of living without her. 

Today was supposed to be their chance to finally spend time together, leave the insanity of the office behind, and maybe actually have that discussion, but Mon’s email had successfully ruined any chance of that happening. It would be a bad time to bring up a subject that might stress Jyn out even more, so Cassian is just trying to salvage any of the relaxation they had planned. They still have a few hours before the meeting, after all, but putting it out of their minds is proving more difficult than they’d hoped.

“I don’t know,” he says, once he’s thought about it. “But I know that if Mon were at liberty to tell us what’s going on, she would have done it already.”

“And that doesn’t worry you at all? That she hasn’t told us anything?”

“Of course it worries me. But I can worry and have a meal with my beautiful girlfriend who I’ve hardly seen at all this week at the same time,” he says. “I’m capable of multitasking.”

Jyn smiles at that, somewhat reluctantly. “I know you are,” she says, looking down at her menu again. “I’ve had sex with you, remember? It was, like, an hour ago?”

Cassian squeezes her hand that he’s still holding once before letting go. “Keep it PG,” he says, under his breath. “We’re in public.”

“Sorry, honey,” Jyn replies, but she laughs when she says it, so she’s clearly not that sorry.

He takes the opportunity, while she’s distracted reading her menu again, to really look at her, in the way she never allows him to when she’s paying attention. Her hair is still damp from the shower they’d taken that morning—Mon’s email had forced them to speed up their morning plans and Jyn had insisted that showering together would make things go faster, which Cassian didn’t think was true but he also wasn’t going to argue about it—and curling a little at the ends, which reach about to her chin. It’s so rare for her to wear her hair down instead of pulling it back and it’s taking a lot of self-control on Cassian’s part not to reach across and run his fingers through it, for all it would be a crazy thing to do when they’re at a restaurant. He catches himself wishing they were seated at a booth, so he could do it inconspicuously, and then realizes, with considerable horror, that he’s becoming one of those people who wants to sit on the same side of the booth as his date and when exactly did that transformation happen?

Jyn tilts her head as she’s reading and brushes a lock of hair out of her face, giving him a better look at the freckles that have appeared on the bridge of her nose and across her cheeks and forehead since she went to Leia’s bachelorette weekend in the Hamptons and got too much sun. She’d shown up at his apartment the Sunday night she got back, not even stopping at her place first in her hurry to see him, and tried to smack his hand away when, later in his bed, he’d attempted to count all the freckles she’d gotten that weekend. She didn’t stop him, though, when he kissed all the ones on her shoulders and he told her she could still taste the sun on her skin. He can see them now, too, thanks to the cut of her dress and he wants to do the same thing, but again, they’re in a restaurant.

“I can feel you staring at me,” Jyn says, without looking away from her menu.

“I’m not staring at you. I’m gazing at you. Lovingly. It’s different.”

“Idiot,” she says, shaking her head and finally looking up. There’s a faint blush on her cheeks now too, which Cassian takes as a sign of victory. “You’re supposed to be deciding what you want.”

“I know what I want.”

“I meant, to eat,” Jyn says, and then cringes. “For breakfast. I mean—you said—what happened to keeping things PG?”

“Sorry,” he says, laughing as he takes her hand again and kisses her knuckles. “You know how I get when you blush.”

“I’m not blushing!”

“My mistake. Must be the lighting in here.”

“You know, the waitress is going to come back any minute now and you’re going to have to be that jerk who asks for another few minutes to look over the menu and then she won’t come back for another twenty minutes and we will starve to death,” Jyn says, petulantly.

“Okay, okay,” Cassian responds, consolingly. “I’m deciding, I promise.”

“Good.”

“What are you getting?”

“Oh, um,” Jyn says, sounding odd. “Uh, I was just thinking I would maybe get their fruit salad.”

“Really?”

“Yeah, just something light, you know?”

Cassian watches her suspiciously. “You’ve been wanting to try this place all week...for their fruit salad?”

“Yeah, I’ve heard it’s, uh, really good,” Jyn says, looking anywhere but at him.

“Really? People everywhere are raving about this place’s fruit salad? Like it’s their big recommendation for brunch here?”

“It comes with organic yogurt,” she says, reading from the menu. “Where else are you going to get that?”

“Anywhere else,” Cassian replies, unimpressed. “We could have gotten breakfast at a bodega if that’s all you wanted. What’s going on?”

“Nothing. I’m just not that hungry,” Jyn says, shrugging in a way that tells him immediately that she’s lying.

“You went for a six-mile run this morning, Jyn. Please eat something with actual protein in it.”

“Yogurt has protein!”

“Jyn, come on,” he says, seriously. “What’s wrong?”

She sighs dramatically and then reaches for her phone. After a few seconds of searching, she hands it over to him to read what’s on the screen. It’s an article from some trashy gossip site Cassian’s never even heard of that’s just a collection of celebrity baby bump sightings and, after he’s scrolled through a few of them in confusion, suddenly he sees what Jyn is upset about.

“This better not be your way of telling me you’re pregnant,” he says, gesturing at her with the phone.

Jyn reaches out and snatches it back. “Of course not!”

“So, what’s the problem?”

“The problem is I apparently look pregnant enough that this site published that article with pictures of me in it!”

“In their defense, they did say that there had been no confirmation from your people about the matter,” Cassian says, and gets a scowl for his trouble.

“I don’t have ‘people’! It’s just me, and I’m not pregnant!”

“So what? You’re not going to eat now?”

Jyn shrugs. “I’m just trying to lose a few pounds.”

“From where?” He asks, more indignant about this than he realized. “Jyn, it’s a grainy photograph taken from a distance and at a very weird angle. You do not look pregnant and, even if you did, you don’t need to lose weight. And I’m not just saying that to placate you, as the theoretical father of your non-existent baby. Unless there’s someone else.”

Jyn laughs and rolls her eyes simultaneously, which is her trademark move when he’s successfully made her feel better about something but she’s not ready to admit it yet. “Of course not,” she says. “You’re the only person who could hypothetically impregnate me.”

“Thank God.”

“It’s just—” Jyn starts to say, but hesitates and reconsiders. “I’ve been in the gossip pages a lot lately, and it’s stressing me out.”

“That’s understandable,” Cassian says, nodding. “But maybe, in the future, just complain to me about it, and I’ll let you know that it’s all bullshit?”

“What if it isn’t bullshit?” She asks, as she puts her phone away. “What if I show you an article from one of these sites and it’s true?”

“Then I assume that there will also be pigs flying through the skies and the apocalypse will be near, so I think we’ll have bigger issues to worry about than you wearing something unflattering in a gossip column.”

Jyn scrunches up her nose. “You thought the dress was unflattering?”

“Come on!”

“I bought it that morning because I forgot to bring a change of clothes to your place! My options were limited to what I could find at Nordstrom in a hurry before work!”

“I always think you look great,” Cassian says, taking her hand again briefly.

“And that’s why you can’t be trusted,” Jyn says, pointing at him emphatically. “You’re blinded by lust!”

He laughs at that, surprised. “Is that so?”

“Yes! I bet our waitress has seen the article, and when I order waffles with a side of bacon, she’ll think it’s a pregnancy craving!”

“Or she will think, ‘this woman is at a restaurant for brunch and her order seems totally normal, under those circumstances,’” Cassian says.

“It’s too risky. It’s much safer to just order the fruit salad and suffer,” Jyn says, closing her menu as if to close the discussion.

Cassian sighs, frustrated. “Do you want me to act like a douchebag boyfriend and order for you?” He asks. “That way she’ll judge me and not your order?”

“You’d do that for me?” Jyn asks, eyes bright.

“Anything for the mother of my fictitious child,” he says, closing his menu too.

“I love you a lot.”

“Yeah, yeah. I love you too.”

Their waitress appears a moment later, as if she’s been waiting for them to put aside their menus before she approached them again. Cassian didn’t get the vibe from her that she recognized Jyn when they first sat down but she seems a little more nervous now, so it’s possible one of her co-workers said something to her while they were figuring out their orders. If she finds it weird or patronizing that Cassian orders for himself and for Jyn, she hides it well, which either means it’s not that odd, or she’s a seasoned professional who is used to hiding her true feelings about her customer’s choices. Whichever it is, she takes their order and departs without any apparent judgement of Jyn’s eating habits, for which Cassian is eternally grateful.

While they wait for their food, they talk about their week at work, catching each other up on everything that happened behind the scenes of their respective shows. Cassian would have thought one of the advantages of dating someone he works with would be seeing them as much as he wanted, but he and Jyn have whole days at ACN where they don’t actually see each other at all, not even in passing. He doesn’t really worry that they’d get sick of each other if they spent all their time at ACN together—at least, he doesn’t worry that he would get sick of Jyn—but it is nice to still be able to talk about their work when it’s just the two of them, away from everyone else. He wouldn’t know what to do if Jyn insisted on leaving their work at the office each night and he’s relieved he doesn’t have to find out. They’re both intense and passionate about their jobs in a way that not everyone would find charming or easy to deal with, and it’s nice to be with someone who gets it, who gets him.

When their food arrives, Jyn is in the middle of a story about fighting with Kay over a story from the Wednesday edition of Market Wrap-Up and Cassian is reminded of something.

“Before I forget,” he says, as their waitress departs, “I wanted to tell you I took your advice.”

“About what?”

“The Sprint stock. You were talking about it being a good buy earlier this week, and I bought a few shares.”

“You did?” Jyn asks, looking stunned.

“Yeah. You made me like two hundred dollars.”

“I wasn’t giving you advice,” Jyn says, leaning across the table and speaking to him urgently under her breath.

Cassian looks around in bewilderment, wondering what’s gotten into her. “What do you mean? You went on Market Wrap-Up that same afternoon and told your viewers it was a good stock to buy!”

“Mmm-hmm,” Jyn says, leaning back. “And when did you buy the stocks? Before my show or after?”

“Uh, before.”

“Great! So you bought the stocks with information from the early forecast that I gave you before it was public knowledge?”

“I guess so…?”

“Excellent!” Jyn picks up her glass, as though to toast him. “Congratulations, that’s called insider trading! We’re white collar criminals now!”

Cassian just blinks at her in response. “That’s not what insider trading is,” he says, without any conviction. “Is it?”

Jyn just looks at him like he’s a moron, which he might very well be. “If for some reason the SEC started looking into your trading history, they could pick up a clear pattern, tie it back to the fact that you’re in a relationship with me, a person who gets information about publicly-traded companies before the general public does, and yes, that would be considered insider trading.”

“Well, I didn’t know I couldn’t use the information until after you told everyone else about it,” Cassian says, putting his head in his hands. “How was I supposed to know that?!”

“Because it’s fucking obvious!”

“Maybe to you,” he says, miserably. “I thought you were telling me for a reason.”

“Not so you could make extra money on the stock market,” Jyn shouts, and then makes a face when she realizes how loud it was. “I was just having a casual conversation with my boyfriend about work.”

“I’m sorry, okay? From now on, I won’t listen when you talk,” Cassian says, and Jyn glares at him. “That came out wrong. I just won’t buy any more stocks on your advice.”

“Are you sure this is the first time you’ve done this?” She asks. In thinking it over, he clearly takes too long to respond, because Jyn curses under her breath.

“It’s not like I’m making billions here, Jyn,” he finally says. “Why would the SEC investigate me?”

“I don’t know! Maybe because you’re dating one of the most prominent financial journalists in the country!”

“Okay, relax,” he says, holding out his hands in a conciliatory gesture. “We have to go to ACN this afternoon for this meeting anyway. While we’re there, we can just ask legal if we’re in violation of any laws. It’ll be no big deal.”

“We should get married,” Jyn says, suddenly, suggesting she hasn’t been listening to his speech at all.

Cassian is almost certain it takes him a full minute to respond, which he mostly blames on the rushing noise in his ears making it hard to think. “I’m sorry, what?” He asks, weakly.

“We should get married,” she repeats, as if he’s terribly slow. “So we can’t be forced to testify against each other in court.”

“I—that’s why you want to get married?”

“Well, if it’s a choice between that and going to prison, then yes.”

Cassian runs a hand over his face, as if that will magically clear his head of all of the thoughts warring for his attention at the moment. How did they even get here?

“I’m glad that on a list of things you might have to do someday,” he says, carefully, “marrying me outranks going to prison, if only just barely.”

Jyn blinks at him for a moment before realization dawns on her face. “That’s not what I meant,” she says. “Besides, you’re the one who hasn’t said anything.”

“What?!”

“I asked you to marry me and all you’ve done is ask me questions,” Jyn says, leaning back in her seat and crossing her arms over her chest. “So, if anyone here doesn’t want to get married, it’s you.��

“I never said that,” Cassian fires back, but Jyn remains unimpressed. “I just—are you actually proposing?”

“No! Not now that I know how you’ll react!”

Cassian can feel tension pooling in his forehead and he’s surely going to have a headache in a matter of moments. “I’m going to get the check,” he says, rising out of his seat, but Jyn catches him by the arm before he can get anywhere. 

“No,” she says, pulling him back to the table. “I’m starving and I know this is meeting is going to suck, so I’m going to sit here and eat my feelings in preparation for it. And I’m not doing it alone.”

“Fine,” Cassian says, dropping back into his seat dramatically. “What do we—?”

Jyn holds up her knife to silence him. “We don’t have to talk,” she says, and proceeds to eat her waffles without so much as looking at him.

They finish the rest of their meal in silence, waiting until they’ve paid their tab and left the restaurant before they say anything more to each other. They’re standing on the sidewalk out front, and Cassian can tell Jyn feels just as unsure as he does in this moment.

“So, what are we doing?” He finally asks, when the awkwardness becomes unbearable. “Should we—?”

“Are you serious right now?!” Jyn shouts. “You want to have this out in public? Where anyone could hear us?”

Cassian turns, mid-way through Jyn’s tirade, and heads for the side of the road. 

“You’re not seriously walking away from me while we’re having a fight, are you?” She asks, and she still sounds furious but her eyes betray the worry underneath it.

Cassian holds an arm out in the direction of the road. “I’m hailing a cab,” he says, calmly. “I was going to ask if you wanted to walk to ACN but you seem upset, so I thought we’d just take a cab there.”

“Oh,” Jyn says, softly. “Well, fine.”

A cab pulls up at that moment, and Cassian opens the door, gesturing for Jyn to get in and then following her inside. He gives the driver the address and settles in. It’s only a five minute ride at the most, but Jyn spends it squished into her corner of the backseat, resolutely ignoring him. Cassian would be more upset about it if the alternative didn’t involve them having a screaming fight in front of a cab driver, which he definitely doesn’t want, so he tolerates the silent treatment until they get to the ACN building. 

He gets out first and goes to the front passenger door to pay the driver, while Jyn gets out too. Cassian turns around when he’s finished paying, only to find Jyn already several feet ahead of him, making a beeline for the front entrance of the building. He jogs to catch up with her—she can really move when she’s angry—but he resists the impulse to take her hand in his own. It’s a bad idea not only because they’re going into the office right now—and they do normally try to be discreet at work—but also because Jyn usually needs space when she’s upset. It’s almost like she can’t process her feelings if he’s trying to comfort her by touching her. He wants nothing more in the world than to pull her close and be reassured himself that this is just some silly argument, but it’s not just about him and what he needs right now. So he settles for walking into the lobby of the building by her side and sneaking glances at her, trying to ascertain her mood at the moment.

After a second, she turns to glare at him. “What did I say about staring at me?” she asks, sharply.

“I’m not. I’m just—”

“Gazing?” She suggests, and there's no missing the sarcasm in her tone. “Lovingly?”

“I’m just trying to figure out what’s going on, Jyn,” he says, ignoring the jab at him.

“Nothing is going on,” she says, as she swipes her card to let them past security. “We’re just two pals, having a casual, fun time together.”

“Oh, is that what we are?” 

“Yep,” Jyn replies, stretching the word out to ridiculous proportions.

She then presses the button to call the elevator with more force than is probably necessary. The doors open immediately, and they both get on and stand in opposite corners, not looking at each other.

“Just two buddies, who have casual sex and share stock tips and who aren’t getting married,” she continues, almost to herself.

Cassian looks at the ceiling, trying to rein in his frustration. “I thought you said I couldn’t use the stock tips!”

“Well, how about the sex?!”

The elevator doors, which were in the process of closing, jerk to a stop as someone sticks an arm into the elevator. The doors part all the way to reveal Bodhi, waiting to board and looking extremely uncomfortable. He clears his throat awkwardly and steps onto the elevator, taking the only spot that is available to him, standing between Cassian and Jyn. He leans forward to press the button for the fifth floor.

“You know you’ve got to hit the button for it to go anywhere, right?” He asks, looking back and forth between the two of them. Jyn looks resolutely ahead of her, refusing to make eye contact and leaving Cassian to respond. 

“I always forget to do that,” he says, trying to sound conversational and pleasant.

Bodhi nods in response but says nothing. The elevator starts to move, even as its occupants remain silent.

“I don’t know what you heard—” Cassian starts to say, but Bodhi cuts him off with a wave of his hand.

“Nothing,” he says, not looking at Cassian. “I heard absolutely nothing.”

“Okay,” Cassian agrees, nodding. They don’t have to talk about it. That’s fine. That’s perfect. “Because whatever you might have heard—”

“Cassian,” Jyn snaps, from Bodhi’s other side. “He said he didn’t hear anything.”

“I know,” he says. “I understand.”

“Good,” she says, going back to staring into the distance.

A moment passes in silence, but Cassian can’t stop himself from saying, “I’m just trying to say that, if he did hear anything just now, well, it would be great to keep it between us, you know?”

Both Bodhi and Jyn turn to look at him as if he’s lost his mind, but he can’t help it. He keeps talking, leaning over to get closer to Bodhi.

“We try to keep this—our personal lives—out of the office. You understand that, right?”

Bodhi nods patronizingly at him. “Sure,” he says. “I mean, literally everyone knows, but—”

“Sorry, what?” Jyn asks.

“Everyone knows,” Bodhi says, calmly. “About you two. It’s not a secret.”

“There’s no way that everyone knows,” Cassian says, feeling somewhat horrified.

“I mean, I guess there’s maybe, theoretically speaking, somebody who doesn’t. One of the janitors, maybe,” Bodhi says, with a shrug. “But pretty much everyone knows, yeah.”

“Seriously?”

“Yeah, I mean...you two are not subtle,” Bodhi replies, easily. “Kay texts me to complain about it all the time.”

“He does?” Jyn asks, annoyed.

“Uh, yeah.”

“And what do you say?”

“Nothing,” Bodhi says, too quickly, holding up his hands defensively in a way that makes it obvious he’s lying. “I think you two are great together. I just don’t want to get involved.”

Luckily for Bodhi, the elevator reaches their floor at that moment and he ducks out as soon as the doors open. Jyn goes to follow him but Cassian stops her with a hand on her elbow before she can leave the elevator bay. She turns around to look at him, but her expression is still closed off, as if she doesn’t really want to have this conversation.

“Just listen to me for one minute,” he says, when he’s sure Bodhi is gone. “I’m sorry for the way I reacted at the restaurant, okay? I understand why you’re upset.” He takes a deep breath, to keep his voice steady. “But I just couldn’t imagine us getting engaged without you meeting my mother first.”

Jyn’s eyes widen in alarm, but she doesn’t say anything in response, so Cassian continues. “It’s just that she’d be so upset if she didn’t meet the woman I was going to marry with enough time before the wedding to really get to know you, and I just didn’t know how to say that, in the moment.”

He watches her carefully, trying to keep a straight face while Jyn visibly starts to panic. He manages well enough for about twenty seconds, but he can feel the corners of his mouth turning up even as he tries not to smile, and then Jyn’s face clears as she realizes what’s happening.

“You asshole!” She shouts, looking away from him.

“Oh, I’m sorry, Jyn,” he says, feigning sincerity. “Did I just throw something extremely intimidating at you without warning? Are you maybe not ready to meet my mother right now, at this stage of our relationship?”

“That sucked,” Jyn says, pointing a finger at him. “I can’t believe you just did that to me.”

“How was that any different than that little test you gave me at the restaurant?” Cassian asks.

“Because mine wasn’t supposed to be a test! I was just—”

“Genuinely asking me to marry you?”

“No! Of course not! I was just—“

Cassian doesn’t get to find out, then, what Jyn was just doing, because Bodhi comes back around the corner into the elevator bay from the ACN offices in a hurry.

“You both need to come to the conference room, right away,” he says, and there’s no levity or friendliness whatsoever in his tone. He looks terrified. “Like, right now!”

Jyn looks back at Cassian, a million questions written over her face, and he inclines his head in the direction of Bodhi and their offices and whatever the hell is going on. They can figure their shit out later, he thinks, hoping she somehow gets that just from his expression. She nods, in comprehension, and even in the middle of a fight, he’s relieved at how well they can read each other. As they follow Bodhi and head afor the conference room, Cassian puts his hand on Jyn’s back, to guide her and to steady himself, and she doesn’t pull away.

————

Something like six hours and an attempted FBI raid of the newsroom later, Cassian walks out of a meeting with Draven and Mon with a mercifully receding headache and some papers he needs to put on his desk for Monday before he can go home. He’s not sure how he’s going to relax and take his mind off of work for the evening once he leaves—it’s not every day that one of the junior staffers violates the Espionage Act and has to flee the country—but that’s what he was told to do by Mon. She claims she and Leia and Han, along with their legal department, are dealing with it and that the rest of the staff should get some rest and prepare themselves for next week, which is sure to be a shitshow—his wording, not hers.

As he walks through the bullpen towards his office, he reminds himself to text Jyn. Hopefully, she’s already gone home, but he hasn’t seen her for a few hours. When he last saw her, she was in a corner with Kay, their heads put together over something, which is the real sign things are bad, if those two are getting along. Then the almost-raid of the newsroom almost happened and in the aftermath, everyone had gone off to put out separate fires and he’d lost track of her. He doesn’t know if she’ll want to see him right now, since he’s fairly certain that, in spite of the work crisis, they’re still fighting, but he figures a text just to check in and see if she’s alright would probably be okay.

As he pushes the door to his office open, he realizes that texting her won’t be necessary because she’s already waiting for him. She’d been looking at her phone when he came in, but she turns her attention to him immediately, and even in the semi-darkness of the room, he can see the worry and exhaustion in her features. 

“Hey,” he says, and it comes out like an exhale. He didn’t realize how badly he needed to see her until she was right in front of him.

“Hi,” she says, offering him a weak smile.

“Are you waiting for me?”

That sort of obvious question would normally get him an eye roll and a sarcastic response, but it’s been a weird day and everyone is a little off their game, so Jyn just nods, looking nervous.

“Yeah, Leia told me to go home for the night, so I thought I’d see what was going on with you before I left.”

“I’m heading out, as well,” he says, and it feels like they’ve never had a conversation before. It’s not their style to be this careful around each other, and it never has been, not even when they first met. It just doesn’t feel right. “Mon’s orders,” he adds, trying for a joking tone to get them back to normal.

Jyn nods, distracted, but doesn’t laugh or otherwise indicate that his attempt to lighten the mood worked at all. He’s about to try again, to say anything that will make this conversation more natural and easy, like things almost always are with them, when Jyn sighs, loudly, startling him.

“What are we supposed to do now?” She asks, despondently. 

Cassian clears his throat, not sure if she’s talking about everything that’s happened at ACN today or if she’s talking about them and their relationship. It seems safer to focus on work, at the moment, though, so that’s what he does.

“I think we’re supposed to go home and get some rest and hope for the best,” he says, not sounding fully convinced himself. When Jyn just gives him an unimpressed look, he adds, more seriously, “We have to trust that the people we work with know what they’re doing, and that they’ll take care of it for us.”

“It’s not us I’m worried about,” Jyn says, bitterly.

“I meant the collective ‘us.’ Not just you and me.”

Jyn looks at him, then, watching him carefully. “And what about you and me?” She asks, quietly, her tone guarded. “What are we supposed to do now?”

“Like I said, we go home and—”

“But are we—?” She asks, and then stops herself. She gestures at him, frustrated by her inability to articulate her question. “Do we go—?”

“I’m not going to Queens tonight unless you expressly ask me to, Jyn,” he says, saving her the trouble of finding the right way to phrase it. “I don’t want to be alone. I want to be with you.”

She wrings her hands, not quite looking at him. “Even after everything that happened today?” She asks tentatively.

Cassian just barely suppresses a laugh at that. It would be the wrong thing to do right now, to laugh at her, but the idea she’s presenting is absurd. “Especially after everything that happened today,” he says.

“But I—”

He holds up a hand to stop her. “Not here,” he says.

“We have to talk, Cassian.”

“I know,” he agrees. “Let’s talk about it on our way home. I just...I need to get out of here.”

Jyn makes a face as if she’s considering arguing with him about this, but she apparently reconsiders. Why she would want to spend any more time at the office on a Saturday they were supposed to have off is beyond him, but he can also admit that the prospect of actually talking through everything that’s happened today and figuring out what it means for them, as a couple, is pretty daunting. That’s why, when she finally nods her acquiescence, he holds out a hand to her and breathes a sigh of relief when she takes it. Things always work out so much better when they’re on the same side.

Walking out through the bullpen, most of the staff has already gone home, thankfully. There’s not much else they can do right now, anyways. In one of the conference rooms, Mon and Leia are having an intense discussion, which is only possible to see because whoever designed this building made the inexplicable decision to only use glass walls and doors. There are very few secrets at ACN, Cassian thinks, and squeezes Jyn’s hand. She gives him a small smile back, before waving goodbye with her free hand to Bodhi and Poe, who are talking in hushed tones at their desks while Bodhi also clicks around furiously on his computer, eyebrows drawn together in either concern, or concentration, or both.

“What are they—?” Jyn starts to ask.

“Some twitter fiasco created by another junior staffer,” Cassian answers before she can finish. Jyn gives him an alarmed look, so he continues his explanation. “They sent out some insensitive tweet in the middle of the night and then had the good sense to delete it, but apparently not quickly enough. Somebody screenshotted it, they got fired, and now Bodhi and Poe are cleaning up the whole mess.”

“How did I not hear about this?” She asks, astonished.

“In terms of disasters happening at ACN today, I don’t even think this one even qualified for the top three, so it didn’t make the rounds. And you know how Bodhi hates firing people. He probably didn’t want to talk about it.”

Jyn tsks in understanding. “Poor Bodhi.”

“Not exactly a banner day for the network in general,” Cassian says, as they arrive at the elevators.

That makes Jyn laugh, for whatever reason. “No, not exactly.”

They take the elevator down to the lobby in silence, in sharp contrast with their elevator ride earlier, back when they’d been arguing in front of Bodhi and had no idea what sort of drama awaited them in that meeting. Cassian knows that the things they were arguing about matter in the long run, but they don’t feel particularly important right now. Not compared to everything else that they’re dealing with at work. Not compared to how nice it is to be holding Jyn’s hand and going home with her after a long day.

They pause when they finally exit the building, standing on the sidewalk, trying to decide what to do next. It’s been one of those rare, wonderful summer days, where it was hot and humid earlier, but everything cooled off when the sun set. There’s even a nice breeze blowing and Jyn lets go of his hand so she can put on her jacket. When she’s finished, instead of taking her hand again, Cassian puts his arm around her shoulders and she happily leans into his embrace. 

“Should we walk back to your place?” He asks, after pressing a kiss to the top of her head. 

“Sure. It’s a nice night for it,” Jyn says, and after the day they’ve had, there’s no room for exuberance, but she seems content enough by his side.

They start making their way back to Jyn’s apartment without saying anything else. For all they love to talk, it’s nice that they can also be quiet together and not feel like anything is missing, Cassian thinks to himself as they walk. It would be a lot more enjoyable, though, if he wasn't worried about what happened between them earlier and trying to talk about it without everything going to hell all over again. Then, suddenly, what he wants to say becomes perfectly clear to him. He can’t believe he didn’t realize it sooner.

“Jyn,” he says, without looking at her, not wanting to break the spell, “if you really want to get married, we can go to City Hall tomorrow.”

Jyn is quiet for a long moment, processing what he’s said. “Tomorrow is Sunday, Cassian,” she finally says. “City Hall isn’t open.”

“Monday morning, then. Whatever,” he says, and when he glances over at her, she looks like she’s going to argue with him, so he keeps going. “‘Tomorrow’ was just supposed to mean, ‘whenever you want.’”

“I don’t want to strong arm you into it,” she says, giving him a searching look.

“You’re not. You couldn’t.”

“I couldn’t?”

“You can’t ‘strong arm’ me into doing something that I want to do,” he says, pulling her closer into his side. “I want to marry you someday. I just didn’t think it was going to be eight months into our relationship, that’s all.”

“Because you want me to meet your family first?” Jyn asks, cautiously.

“I was actually just trying to trip you up with that—”

“So, you don’t want me to meet your family?”

“I’d prefer to marry you first, honestly,” Cassian replies. “That way, when you see how crazy my family is, you’ll already be stuck with me.”

Jyn smiles at that, a small, hesitant thing. “I’m already stuck with you,” she says, softly, and his heart honestly skips a beat.

“Spoken like someone who’s never met my family,” he jokes, rather than addressing what she just said.

“They can’t be that bad,” she says.

“I have these two cousins—they’re twin brothers—and they have all these ideas for weird businesses they want to start and they will ask you to invest.”

“Cassian—”

“My abuela is definitely going to call you by my high school girlfriend’s name,” he continues, ignoring her interruption.

“Is that the last time you had a serious girlfriend?” Jyn asks, caught somewhere between concerned and amused.

“The last one she remembers, at least,” Cassian says. “She’s pretty senile. And my mom—well, she’s going to love you.”

Jyn laughs, burying her face in his shirt. “No, she’s not,” she says, once she’s recovered.

“She will,” he says. “Eventually.”

“I have been told that I grow on people. Like a fungus.”

“Or a vine, maybe?”

“Vines don’t grow on people, Cassian,” Jyn points out, needlessly. 

“That’s why you have the PhDs in this relationship,” he says, kissing her hair. “And my family will love you, because I love you. I’m not worried.”

“You should be,” she says. “If I have to meet your family, you have to meet mine and my family is Saw.”

“I’ve met Saw before.”

“Asking him a single question at a press conference one time seven years ago is not the same as meeting him, especially when you’re sleeping with his goddaughter now.”

“I’m doing a lot more than sleeping with his goddaughter,” Cassian interrupts, petulantly.

“Don’t say that when you meet him!” Jyn cries, swatting his arm.

“I just meant…we’re serious! We’re not friends with benefits, or something casual like that. I’m not just sleeping with you. I’m in love with you.”

“That won’t impress Saw.”

“From what I can tell, nothing impresses Saw,” he says. “He’s terrifying.”

“Yeah but he’s family,” Jyn says, with a shrug that jostles Cassian’s arm. 

“I notice you’re not reassuring me that Saw will love me eventually, the way I did for you with my family.”

“I want you to meet him, because he’s important to me. But he doesn’t get a vote when it comes to my love life. If he doesn’t love you, too bad. I do. You’re permanent. He can get used to it.”

Cassian makes a big show of looking at his watch. “Where was that romantic speech eight hours ago when you first proposed?” He asks, and Jyn bumps him with her shoulder in retaliation.

“Shut up,” she says, looking at her feet. “I wasn’t actually proposing.”

“Did we not just agree to get married?”

“Yeah, someday.”

“But not soon?” He asks, confused.

“Whenever we feel like it,” Jyn says, shrugging again but there’s nothing feigned about it. “We have the rest of our lives, after all.”

Cassian stops them on the sidewalk, and turns Jyn to look at him. “I think that still technically makes me your fiancé,” he says, sliding his hands up to frame her face. “Since we’re getting married someday.” 

Jyn rolls her eyes, but she’s smiling too. “I guess. Technically,” she says. “But I want all the credit for proposing, then.”

“We can’t tell anyone our actual proposal story,” he says, laughing. “Ever.”

“Why not?”

“Because I can’t have people knowing that I tricked you into marrying me by accidentally committing a white collar crime.”

Jyn scrunches up her nose, realizing how that sounds. “Good point,” she agrees. “I feel like other people aren’t going to understand how romantic that is.”

At that, he finally gives in and kisses her, not caring that they’re in public and this is exactly the sort of thing Jyn doesn’t want the paparazzi catching her doing. She doesn’t seem to mind right now, though, because she presses up onto her toes and kisses him back, wrapping her arms around his neck. They probably shouldn’t carry on like this where anyone could potentially see them, but it’s not that thought that actually stops Cassian. It’s something else entirely.

“Wait,” he says, pulling back. “Should I buy you a ring?”

Jyn looks perplexed by the question, or maybe just annoyed that he’s not still kissing her. “You don’t have to,” she says, finally.

“I mean, I know how much you hate diamonds.”

“Do you know the markup on diamonds? It’s ridiculous. They are so cheap, and yet they’ve been marketed so well—”

“Jyn, honey. I’ve heard this speech before,” Cassian says, kissing her forehead.

“I know. I’m sorry,” she says, shaking her head a little, as if to clear her thoughts. “I don’t want an engagement ring.”

“You’re sure?”

“I am,” Jyn says, and he doesn’t think she’s pretending. “Besides, I’m the one who proposed. I should get you a ring.”

Cassian laughs. “I also don’t want an engagement ring.”

“Really?”

“Really,” he says, kissing her again. “I have everything I want already.”

“So corny,” Jyn says, laughing, but she kisses him back anyway, and that’s what matters.

———

In the end, it’s Han and Leia who have the City Hall wedding at a moment’s notice, and it’s perfect for them, Cassian thinks, as he watches the ceremony with Jyn by his side. He hasn’t even slipped up and called her his fiancée at the office yet, which is astonishing because, according to their friends and coworkers, subtlety is not their strong suit. Their discretion is even more impressive considering that Jyn ultimately did find something shiny she could give him to celebrate their engagement: a key.

#taxicabsandbirthdays2019 #rogue one #rebelcaptain #jyn erso #cassian andor #the newsroom #star wars #my writing #anyway here's wonderwall #otp: your mother and i have been together ever since #otp: built on hope #just trying to get all my tags out of the way #happy birthday zainab!!! #if your existence was a movie i'd put it in the criterion collection #because you're a classic!! #i used so many italics in this damn thing you'd think I was getting paid off by the Italics industry #i don't know what else to put here goodbye

[thelostgalaxyinspace]

“Look, I don’t have much time, but I wanted to say I love you.” Please and thank you!

I really hope you enjoy! I’ve worked hard to make this a great fic that I think you’ll love! This was a great prompt and I am super into writing this! 

https://archiveofourown.org/works/18992875/chapters/45100597 (if you want to keep up with the chapters, if not, your prompt is below!) 

*******************************************************************************************

Jyn Erso had long hair. It was dark and reached down to the bottom of her shoulder blades, but most people would never have guessed it because she always kept it up. Her mother used to braid it every single night before Jyn went to sleep.  

“It keeps the knots out, Stardust,” she would whisper softly and press a gentle kiss to her head. Jyn didn’t care if her hair was knotted until the first night it got tangled, which was also the first night her mother wasn’t there to braid it.  

Jyn took her hair out when she hid in the bunker. She decided that if she was bad enough maybe her mother would just have to wake up and come to yell at her not to let her hair down like that. So Jyn took her hair out of it’s braids and sat there in the glow of the lantern, wishing it would knot faster.

When the metal grate had opened and Saw offered her a hand to help her out, her hair was matted and knotted and stringy.

The first night, she was given clothing that was too big, food that her parents would never have let her eat, a red soda pop with Aurebesh lettering on the front, and a wooden brush to untangle her hair.

She finished the food and wore the clothing and tried to untangle her hair by herself, but it was too knotted and it hurt too much and she couldn’t reach the back. That night, she went to find Saw, who was poured over a few maps in his quarters on the ship. He let her in, but she didn’t move from her spot by the door.    

“What’s wrong, child?” He had asked her and put the maps down. She shifted awkwardly and thought about how her mother had told her she could trust him. Anyone her mother liked must have been good because her parents did not have friends. Quickly and abruptly, she shoved the hair comb she’d been given forward.   

“Do you know how to braid hair?” She asked softly. He hadn’t moved from his desk and stared her down, for a few minutes. She could feel her chest clamp up and suddenly, she regretted coming into the room, very, very much. So she started talking, rambling like she did when she was in trouble at home, when her mama had yelled at her and when papa had raised his eyebrows asking if she was sorry. Somehow, Saw’s look was worse and she had only just met him. “It doesn’t need to be pretty, that’s okay, but mama used to braid it every night so it didn’t get tangled and I don’t think I can braid it myself and it’s all tangled now and I love my hair and my mama did too and I don’t want to cut it and-” Saw cut her off without even speaking. He raised a hand for her to be quiet and immediately she did. He motioned for her to come sit in front of him and tentatively, Jyn crossed the room’s distance. He held out his hand for the comb and she placed it in his hand.    

“I can brush it for you,” he said. “But I don’t know how to braid it.” Jyn nodded as the comb pulled through her hair sharply and she stared to the front of the room where Saw’s bed was.

“I’m sorry it’s tangled,” she said softly. He pulled another knot out. Jyn flinched and looked down at the ground.  

“I’m sorry it’s tangled, sir,” he corrected and Jyn nodded quickly. Mama had told her to be respectful of people older than she was and this man was certainly older than she was.   

“Sir,” she affirmed. Trying it out on her tongue. She had never called anyone by a title in her life and she didn’t think she liked it, but Saw was helping her and he was a friend of her parent’s so she would try to make him happy. “Sir,” she said again. She wanted to make sure it was perfect.   

“Yes,” he nodded and pulled on another knot. Jyn cleared her throat.  

“I’m sorry it’s tangled, sir.” She kept her head up and she heard a small chuckle from Saw. She smiled too.  

“You were down there for some time, child. I would expect your hair to be the last thing you were worried about.” Jyn shrugged, eyes still downcast and legs crossed tightly.  

“I was kind of worried about it,” she said and then looked down at the ground. “I thought that if I let it get tangled then mama would come back to yell at me but you said she’s gone forever now.” Saw sighed a long and deep sigh. He leaned forward and put the comb down.

“I lost my sister. To the same fight your mother gave her life for. We can’t bring them back but we can win the war. You’re still very young, Jyn, but you’ll learn. I will teach you and I will take care of you, child. You will learn to be respectful, useful, and as good as a soldier as any of my men,” Saw said as he ran the brush through her hair a last time. Jyn nodded. She promised herself right then and there that she would. If someone so strong, so big, and so important could take the time to brush her hair now, she would take the time to be the best soldier he’d ever seen.

Jyn didn’t think she’d ever lost that draw, that desire to be the best. It was a fierce, competitive fire that raged and grew whether she was playing Sabacc with Bodhi or shooting targets with Cassian or sparring with Han. When she wasn’t the best, she could feel herself losing control, feel a tension freeze her where she was less than she thought she should be. After all, if she wasn’t the best, it was easier to be abandoned, to be hurt, or to be left and now that she had people she cared about, that was the last thing she wanted.

She was the best at a lot of things. She was the fastest on the pathfinders and easily one of the best fighters. She was quick with her words and famously the best at riding Tauntaun. What she was not the best at, was undercover work. She wasn’t bad, far from it, but she wasn’t the best and it took her some time to get used to it.   

She didn’t used to like undercover work. When she first started at Echo Base, they didn’t have anywhere else to out her, so they put her with Cassian, on the field for intelligence work. Jyn hated it at first, not just because she wasn’t the best, but because she wasn’t even good. There was too much politics and too much playing nice and not enough of an adrenaline surge, but Cassian had wanted her on the field with him and it was enlist or leave, so she enlisted. Besides, she liked trusting someone to have her back, so she wore whatever dress they told her too, smiled as bright as she could, and bought a drink for any informant they needed to get a read on.

It became a game to her and that was when she first started to like it. When she was able to think about everything like a game that she could win, it got easier. Jyn Erso would never have laughed and batted her eyes in a dark bar, but Kestrel Dawn did and Jyn Erso couldn’t light up a room with a look, but Tanith Pontha had such a beautiful smile, that people couldn’t help but stare and when she became someone else, it was easy to win the trust of whoever she needed too, because Jyn Erso might not have been very trustworthy, but everyone of her aliases were.

Ever since Scariff, Jyn hadn’t liked herself very much, so espionage gave her a chance to be someone better, someone who knew her place in the galaxy, someone who knew that she deserved to walk off that beach.

When Cassian first got the mission, Jyn had put twenty credits on the fact that she knew she could outdrink Han Solo and she knew she could because that was another thing that she was the best at. She didn’t worry about Cassian when he didn’t join her like he promised after, his briefings usually ran late and Baze had walked her back to the room.

Jyn woke up to the sound of the refresher and the smell of Trillium soap. It was a sharp pine scent, one that Cassian never would have picked for himself and that was when she knew he was going undercover. She frowned and pushed herself out of bed, walking to the bathroom door and gently pushing on it. The door zipped open, letting out a small cloud of steam. Jyn slipped into the bathroom and let the door close behind her. Cassian turned around from the stream of water and looked at her, his face was a neutral, as opposed to the small smile he usually greeted her with. Jyn, in turn, frowned and tried to hide the hurt that she felt quickly flash across her face. He hadn’t look at her like that since she moved in. It was the same face he used on informants and when he was on missions.

“Good morning,” he said softly and Jyn sighed and crossed her arms.

“I don’t know,” she said quietly. “Is it? You seem off.” She slowly started to peel her shirt off so she could get in the shower with him, but Cassian shook his head and reached out, arm wet and not seeming to care as he laid it on Jyn’s shoulder.

“Don’t,” he said quickly. “Not now.” Jyn frowned deeper.

“Cassian, what’s wrong?” She asked and took a step closer to the refresher. She was worried not because he’d stopped looking at her and was instead fixated on the beads of water dripping down the walls. He blinked and turned to face the her.

“Jyn,” he breathed. “I was going to wake you in a little to say goodbye. I’ll only be gone a few days.” She sat down on the ground and crossed her legs.

“Draven give you a briefing?” She asked. Something was wrong, she could feel it, she just didn’t know what. He nodded. “What’s the mission?” He looked back at her.

“Three days on Savatis Prime,” he said and reached out for the red bottle of soap again. Jyn bit her lip in thought. Savatis Prime was a small planet on the outer rim. Savatis was hot and arid with a small village. Recently, it had started to become a hotbed for building explosives because when you dug in the caves, you could find pure Litoxal, a highly explosive chemical. Jyn had been there with Saw once, it was a strange mix of industrial and indigenous and Jyn hadn’t liked it. It was bright and dry and hot and there were three orange moons.

“Are you meeting a contact there?” She asked. “I’ve been before, if you want me to come and maybe-”

“Jyn, you’re not coming.” His voice was sharp and strong. He stepped out of the refresher, turned it off, and took a towel, hanging up, to wrap around himself. Jyn crossed her arms. Cassian sighed. He ran a hand through his wet hair. “Look, I don’t have much time, but I wanted to say I love you before I left.”

They never spoke that frankly and even though they’d kissed and shared quarters, Jyn had yet to tell him she loved him. She knew it hurt him. She knew every time he said it, whether it was casual after training when they were both grinning and sweating or whispered in her ear in Festian, he meant it and wished she’d say it back, but she couldn’t. She just couldn’t bring herself to say it back. Not after the first time he said it she stole a ship and tried to leave planet. Cassian promised her that letting him say it was a step in the right direction, but it still left her stomach in a knot when she got this upset over words.      

“Why can’t I come, Cassian?” She narrowed her eyes and tightened her crossed arms around her body.  

“Because you don’t rank as high as me.” He walked over to the mirror and picked up the small plastic razor to even his facial hair. Jyn crossed her arms and scoffed.

“You’ve never cared about that before. We make a good team,” she pressed and leaned against the wall. Cassian refused to meet her eyes, averting his to the sink. He started running the water to shave and Jyn frowned. “Cassian, I could-”

“I said no, Jyn!” He slammed the razor down and turned to face her. His breathing had quickened, but his face was neutral. The clatter of the razor caused her to blink and she didn’t realize that he was bleeding until she looked from where the razor lay on the floor to his face. She picked up the washcloth from the counter and closed the distance between them.

“Ok,” she said softly and nodded. “Okay, Cassian.” Jyn reached out with the washcloth to wipe the small cut on his cheek he made with the razor. Cassian put his hands on her shoulders and squeezed.                 

“Jyn,” he said softly. “You’re doing better. Let’s just keep it that way.” He let go of her shoulders and turned back to the mirror. Jyn sat down on the ground.

“Just tell me what’s going on. I won’t make a scene.” Cassian turned around to face her. He’d put on his briefs and was in the process of buttoning up black imperial uniform trousers. The wet towel lay on the ground, pooling water next to where Jyn sat.

“We’re not doing this now.” He shook his head. “It’s a classified mission.”

“Cassian! Tell me what is going on!” She could feel herself starting to make a scene.

“Nothing concerning you,” his voice stayed low but she could hear the strain in it. He reached for the white undershirt and pulled it over his head. He smoothed it out and tucked it in and did his belt and then knelt down in front of her. “We’re in a good place and we’re getting better. Just let yourself heal.” He reached out and brushed some of her hair off of her face and tucked it behind your ear. Jyn leaned forward.

“Cassian, if you want whatever this is to last, you need to talk to me.” She took his hand. “Please don’t leave me in the dark.” The unspoken sentiment, that she didn’t think, now that she had tasted what it felt like to have a home and a family, she could do it again. She didn’t think she’d be able to revert to the shell of what she was now again. Jyn tried to convey it with the sentence she said and then she bit her lip because she knew if she opened her mouth again all of those words would come tumbling out and those were more damning than even telling someone you loved them. Cassian rose up from where she sat on the bathroom.

“The file is on my desk. Third drawer down. It’s not long.” Jyn rose up from the ground. Cassian picked the washcloth up to press it against his cut again. He grabbed Jyn’s hand before she was able to exit the refresher. “Don’t make a scene, Jyn,” he warned, leaving her to wonder why she would need too.         

#RebelCaptain #star wars #fanfic

[melanoradrood]

ficlet : teach me how to touch

prompt request : Virgin Cassian requested by: @dracosollicitus​

WARNING: IT’S PORN Y’ALL

Also Found on AO3

They’ve gotten this far before, where his shirt is off, and hers is halfway up her stomach, but they’ve never gone further. They both know where the line is, have discussed their pasts, and she knows all about how little he truly knows, despite being five years older than her. Sex isn’t something he has time for when it comes to pleasure, and when it comes to business, well… he gets this far, extracts what he needs, and is then gone, a shadow in the night, leaving behind a target that is still gasping for air.

Her shirt is still on, and this time, he thinks he’s ready for it to come off.

She knows more than him, so much more, and Cassian is okay with that, he really is. He’s glad that one of them knows something, that she knows how to touch herself, that she’s able to show him how to touch her, but he still feels clumsy, his hands feeling too rough and awkward. She gasps, though, when his calloused fingers run over her hip, and her lips part under him again, pulling him in for another kiss.

Her shirt is off and over her head the second that they pull away for air, and he has touched her before, touched her under her shirt, but never without her shirt there to hide her from his eyes. He wants to look, to touch, to explore, but the light is out, and he can’t see much.

When he mouths at her breast, she ends up just brushing him aside, almost impatient.

“Your pants,” she demands with a huff. “Just push them down so they’re out of the way. I have to take mine off.”

He nods, because he trusts her, and he kicks them past his knees - he thinks they should be off all the way, but she had said to just push them down, wants to do as she says.

Her legs are lifting on either side of him, and he can’t see much in the dark of the room, but she had insisted… Jyn knew best. He was definitely going to trust her on this.

When her legs are on either side of his, he leans down, goes back to kissing her. He’s good at this, great at this, and everything slows down for a minute, their bodies rocking together like they have a hundred times now, it seems. He can feel her, though, without fabric in the way, and he definitely wants to explore her, to touch, to taste.

He might not know a lot about actually having sex, but he’s on a military installation. He has heard the pilots talking about going down for a taste. He knows that they always get their girl off first, talk about how it keeps them coming back for more.

He wants to do that with her, and his hand slides down her side, down her stomach, his fingers searching for-

“What are you doing?” she asks, and she sounds breathless, breathless from his lips, and he shrugs, even if she can’t see it.

“I’m trying to - I know I don’t know how, but I want to try and finger you.”

He can practically feel her stare, knows she is blinking, is processing the words - “But why?”

Cassian doesn’t know how to describe it, but suddenly, this feels really important, even if he doesn’t fully understand. “Because it feels good, to make you feel good, so that you-”

“That’s pointless. You don’t have to waste time doing that.”

Something suddenly doesn't feel right. Nothing about spending time with Jyn could ever be a waste, and nothing about being with her would be pointless. He wants to protest, but then he feels her hand wrapping around his cock, pressing it to her entrance.

“Stop,” he says, and she lets go of him immediately, like her hand is burned, and he pushes himself away.

“What?” she asks, and she’s sitting up, he can tell that much, but he still can’t see anything. “Are you not ready? Cassian, it’s okay if you’re not ready.”

He wants to tell her it’s that, because that would be easier, but the truth is, he is ready. He has been ready, but he doesn’t think they’re on the same page. He wants to enjoy this, wants to experience this, and she seems to be in a rush.

“It’s not that, it’s just… can we slow down?”

He thinks that might be the right words, and then he’s leaning forward, kissing her. Jyn kisses him back, and it’s so soft, so gentle. He thinks back to their first kisses, how rough they had been, how she would push him against a wall, fight with him for control when he was happy to give it up, and he has to wonder…

He knows that he hasn’t had sex, but he has to wonder if what she has had of sex, if it’s the same thing he wants with her.

Is the kind of sex he wants with her even possible?

They’re getting lost again in their kissing, and when his body settles over hers, he grabs at her hand, the one not on her back, and threads their fingers together. He can feel her react, the soft gasp of her lips, and he squeezes her hand, telling her he’s right there as he rocks his hips against her.

She’s wet, wetter than she was before, and he wants to explore that again, let’s go of her hand, and slides his fingers down beside his dick, his fingers finding soft skin with a little hair and all of the wetness he has imagined.

For ten seconds, his fingers slip in, running up and down, the tips brushing against a sensitive bud - and then she’s jerking away from him, the breathy moan fading in the room.

They’re both breathing hard, but he doesn’t move, just waits for her to say something.

“Cassian-”

“Why can’t I touch you?” he asks. He wants to know, to understand. “I want… I thought that was part of sex, touching each other.”

There’s a long moment of nothing but heavy breathing, and then Jyn is sucking in a breath, and- “I don’t know? I just… it’s not normally like that.”

He wants to see her, wants to touch her, and he shifts forward, reaches for the light beside the bed. It turns on, and they both look away from it, the light filling the room. His pants are still around his lower legs, keeping him from moving easily, and she’s reaching down, grabbing her shirt, trying to cover herself.

“And why can’t I see you?”

He’s sort of in love with her… he wants to see her.

The hand on the shirt stops, and then she drops it, drops it back onto the floor before looking at him. His eyes are on her face though, not looking down. He wants to see her, wants to know her, but he wants her to open up to him.

“Jyn… what’s it normally like?”

He gets a shrug in response, but that’s not what he wants right now. He needs it to be verbal, needs her to tell him what it’s like for her.

“I don’t know - you know how war is. It’s normally rushed, have places to be, a quick fuck, and then you move on.”

He gets what that sounds like, has accidentally walked in on it a time or two, but that’s not… “But we’re not in a rush right now. We have all night. Does it have to be like that?”

He doesn’t know the answer, but he really hopes it’s a no.

Jyn doesn’t say anything for the longest time, just looks at him, and after a while… he starts to worry. She’s not saying anything, not doing anything, and then he realizes what it is… she’s thinking about what it could be like, thinking about what she has imagined, thinking about something that tells her it could be different.

“Tell me,” he says, and it sounds more like he’s begging than commanding, and she shakes her head, her cheeks going pink.

“It’s absurd. I just… I read this holonovel once, and it was supposed to be romantic, and it-”

“Tell me, please?” he asks again, and this time it’s definitely him begging.

“Well just…” He doesn’t interrupt her again, because he can see it forming in her mind, can see her trying to find the right words. She’s always so careful, picks and chooses what she says so it has meaning, so he waits, watching the blush spread over her skin, trying to not look down.

“So, the man… he’s pretty sure they’re never going to be together again, and he wants to take his time with her, so he pulls her onto his lap to kiss her, and she’s… she’s wearing this wrap skirt thing or something…”

She’s thinking about it again, and Cassian takes the time to kick off his pants, and then shifts himself to sit with his back against the wall. Jyn seems to be lost in thought, like she’s remembering it, and not for the first time, he’s mildly terrified of her brain.

“So, he ends up getting her undressed, and then he’s… he pushes down his pants because he can’t wait to be closer to her to take the time to get them off, and then she’s… well he’s in her, and it feels good, and then they just… slow down.”

He doesn’t know what that means, but it seems to mean something to Jyn.

“And then they just… they kissed and touched and slowly built up speed, and it was… I don't know, it just sounded nice, to not be in a rush.”

He’s not sure if it can be like that either, but he wants it to be.

“I want to touch you,” Cassian says. He knows that she has touched herself, has heard her joke about the fact that she knows herself better than anyone, but he wants to learn too. “But that… I want to try that. Can… Can we?”

It’s the longest ten seconds of his life, just looking at Jyn, and she’s frozen solid, not even blinking, not even breathing - and then she’s nodding, her breaths coming in hard, and he has two seconds before she’s climbing into his lap.

It’s a good thing that his pants are already off, because in seconds, she’s straddling his lap, and his cock is slipping between her folds, running up her slit. He lets out a groan, eyes pinching shut, trying to resist how good it feels, but then Jyn is kissing at his throat, and he loses it.

He knows this isn’t sex, or at least isn’t the sex they’re going for, but he grabs her hips all the same, jerking them to rub himself against her. He’s not doing this right, he can tell just by how  much she’s bouncing, but it feels good to have her heat against him, and he can’t wait to be inside.

“I want to touch you,” he says again, and she huffs against his throat.

“You are touching me,” she insists, and her face pulls back from his skin, giving him a good opening.

“No, I mean like this,” he amends, and he leans down, mouth catching her nipple, and then he sucks.

Her thighs try to clench immediately, but she’s straddling him, and has no option to find some sort of grip. Her hands, previously on his chest, go over his shoulders, and she lets out a high pitched squeal.

He lets go after a moment, waiting to see her reaction, and -

“The other one,” she demands. “Use your tongue, your teeth, oh fuck, Cassian-”

He doesn’t have to be told twice.

Within thirty seconds, Jyn is rocking her own hips, trying to find something to grind on, and Cassian is pretty sure he might just cum before he’s even in her. He has to let go of her nipple, moving to the other one to lick at it, before pulling away, trying to slow her down.

“Woah, I’m going to blow,” he groans out, and Jyn laughs, like he’s crazy.

“That’s the point of this,” she insists, and no, no, on that one she’s wrong-

“The point of this is for us to both feel good,” he retorts, and her eyebrows raise slightly in response.

“Cassian… that felt good.”

It’s not the same, and they both know it.

“I’m going to make you cum on my cock,” he vows, and the sharp intake of breath she makes tells him that she wants that as much as he does, and he doesn’t know how he’s going to do it… but he’s going to try.

Everything slows down again, and it gives him time to think, to catch up.

Their lips are caught again, and she’s still rocking her hips slowly, but it’s nothing like before. She’s running her fingers into his hair, over his shoulders, down his back before dragging her nails up, and when she shifts forward a little too far, he realizes just how wet she is for him.

“I’m… help me inside of you?” he asks.

Jyn nods, shifting back down onto his legs, her hand gripping him, and he lets out a hiss. “Already so close, but want you to cum first.”

She snorts in response, she doesn’t believe him, but he hasn’t given up yet. She’s slow, though, and when she sinks down onto him… He really might not last. Not when he can feel how hot she is, how much she wants this, and when she rocks her hips, he thinks he might just lose it.

Instead, he grabs her, grabs her by her hips, his fingers digging in, and he pulls her close, so close she can’t get away, his arms going around her to hold her still.

She doesn’t move in response, just stays still, and his grip slowly relaxes. He really is so close, his breaths coming out in ragged moves, and he forces his eyes open, to look at her.

“What were they sitting like? Like this, or?”

“His legs were up, so she could lean against them.”

It makes sense in his mind, and his legs bend, giving Jyn the ability to lean back some, back onto his legs. The angle shifts, and suddenly Jyn is sucking in a breath, her back arching off of his legs, as though something is hitting just right.

“Good?” he asks, and she’s nodding, her body resting on his legs, her on his knees.

When he looks down her body now, he can see where they’re connected, can see beneath the dark hair exactly what he has been looking for. He can’t possibly get any harder than he already is, and he wants to feel her cum… he wants her to get off before he does, but he needs her help.

She isn’t looking, and he just - goes for it. Two fingers together, he slides them down where they are joined, underneath the hair, and finds a hard little budd, right in front of where his cock is. She tightens around him immediately in response, and he lets out a groan as Jyn lets out a shriek.

Whatever he just did, he did it right.

“Good, or?”

“Not as hard,” she breathes out, and he nods, lightening is touch, “-but more than that.”

He wants to do this right, at least this first time, wants to learn with time, but time isn’t on their side. She’s actually splayed out in his lap, his cock is buried deep in her, and if he wants her to get off, he needs help.

“Show me,” he says, and she groans a little, runs her hand down her body, in between her legs, brushing his hand aside. He grabs at her wrist, though, and pulls it out of the way, replacing her hand with his own once again. “No, use my hand. Use my hand to get yourself off.”

Her eyes open suddenly, her head tiling forward, and he thinks she might want to kiss him… except this angle is literally perfect, and he doesn’t want to lose this.

His fingers press against her clit again, rolling around the nub, and then her hand grabs his wrist, slowly working it forward and back.

“Separate your fingers a tiny amount,” she instructs, and he does so. Almost immediately, he can feel the difference, how he’s no longer pressing directly on it, is instead moving around it, the pleasure seemingly spread.

She doesn’t have any other instructions for a few moments, just using his fingers, and then she shifts her hips from side to side, drawing another groan from him. He can’t last like this, and it already feels like he’s on edge. Next time they do this, he’s going to finger her first, and fuck it, he’ll tie her down ( with permission ) so that he can explore everything that makes her moan.

Maybe he should start watching holoporn to get ideas…

“Can I touch your breasts,” he asks, and it suddenly hits him how hard he’s breathing. She tightens around him again, and he doesn’t want to groan, but really, he’s only one man.

“Please?” she asks, and her hold on his wrist has lightened. He’s rubbing at her now, trying to keep up the pressure, trying to keep his hand relaxed, but he presses too hard and gets a hiss. “Pointless, told you it was-”

“Shut up,” he groans, and he leans forward, licking her nipple. “Going to make you - I can. I can do it.”

He doesn’t want to hear her say again that her pleasure is pointless, because all he wants is to make her scream.

“You can’t,” she insists, and she’s crying a little now, almost in frustration. “You shouldn’t have to, it’s me, I’m the-”

His free hand moves to her mouth, covering it, and he feels her tighten around him in response as his palm flattens over her lips, keeping her from speaking anymore. The look he gives her tells her that he’s done, doesn’t want to hear it again, and when he moves his fingers again, he pinches the little bud a bit, then rubs gently, making her jerk her hips again.

That’s it. That’s what it is. He can do this, just like this, the little bit of roughness with taking his time.

“You’re going to cum,” he hisses, and he bites at the nipple he just licked, teeth tugging at the sensitive point before he moves over to the other one, his lips wrapping around it so he can suck. When he pops off of it, stretching her slightly, he looks up again, looks her directly in the eye.

“You’re going to cum for me.”

In all honesty, Cassian doesn’t know what to expect. He knows that women don’t shoot out their cum as men do, but he knows that there is some liquid. He knows that they feel it, that they can have multiples of them, but he doesn’t really know what they do. He knows that his own orgasms are in the fresher, hand on his cock, trying to be as silent as possible.

What he gets is outside of his imagination.

One second she’s fine, breathing hard, the next, he feels like his cock is being gripped by a hand, tensing and pulsing around him, and she lets out a scream against his hand. He releases her mouth immediately, and just watches, watches as her lips part and her eyes roll back in her head, and he-

“Fuck, fuck fuck fuck, oh fuck-”

He can’t help it, he really can’t help himself, his hips jerking in response, and his free hand moves to her hip, grabbing her so hard he thinks he might be leaving bruises in her skin. He jerks in response, a few shaky thrusts, and then he’s cumming so hard, his own eyes are rolling back in his head, and he can’t, he can’t breathe, he can’t even see-

She’s still whimpering, shaking against him, when he realizes what just happened.

“Fuck, I’m sorry, I tried, but I-”

“Shut up,” she gasps, and Jyn wraps her arms over her chest, falling forward into him, her forehead pressing against his neck.

He’s not sure if this is a good or a bad thing, isn’t sure if she’s mad at him, if she’s hurt, and his hands go out to either side of him, not touching her, waiting for her response. He knows he was bossy, probably didn’t touch her right, definitely dug too hard into her skin, but she’s… she’s not pushing him away, only getting closer.

He’s literally not moving, scared he might do something else wrong.

“Put your arms around me, Cassian,” she mutters against his neck, and he… goes with it, because he’s still not sure what’s going on, doesn’t understand why she wrapped herself up with her own arms, but he’ll go with it. He’s careful, one arm loosely around her hips, the other over her back, and she cuddles in tighter. His dick is still sensitive and half hard, but with her shift, he slips out of her.

There’s a mess, he can feel it on his stomach, leaking from her, coming from off of him, but he doesn’t mention it, doesn’t move, still too stiff to move. He had blown it, literally. Somehow, he was sure he had managed to fuck this up.

“Stop thinking,” she huffs against him. “Stop being so tense. You just had sex, with your girlfriend, who you love. Just… just relax.”

He’s trying to, he really is, but it’s hard when he has literally no idea if it was any good.

“I… are you okay?”

Her head pops up, eyes thin, and she’s looking at him like he grew another head. “I just… I just had an orgasm on your dick. I just had the first orgasm of my life that I didn’t cause. What do you mean are you okay?”

He’s not really sure how to respond, but he feels sheepish now, his hand falling from her back to rub at the back of his neck.

“I just… I didn’t… last…”

“It was your first time,” she says with a sudden burst of laughter, and he’s pretty sure he was supposed to last longer… but first time might matter.

“So it was okay?”

Her hands come up to grab his face on either side, forcing him to look at her, and she shakes her head a little.

“You karking idiot… Cassian, it was better than okay. It was really really good.”

He blinks and nods his head, because okay, really good, that’s good.

“So you liked it?”

She just groans in response, shifting off of him, and yeah, there’s a mess of fluids on his stomach. A part of him is grossed out… a part of him wonders what it tastes like.

“Get cleaned up,” she says, walking into the fresher. “We’re going to sleep, and you don’t want to sleep with that on you. In the morning, we can work on improving any areas that you think are lacking.”

He nods at that, getting off the bed, following her into the fresher. He freezes, though, when he realizes that the bravado, the grins, all of it is gone from Jyn, and she’s gripping the sink, her head bowed slightly.

Now, it’s not about him, not about his performance. There’s something deeper here…

“Jyn… Jyn, what’s wrong?” he asks softly, and his hands touch her shoulders, run down her arms.

Her eyes close in the mirror, and he looks at them, watches as he presses a kiss to her ear. She’s smiling a little at that, and he knows that whatever it is, it can’t be too bad.

“I’ve just… it’s never been with someone that matters,” she confesses.

He kind of already got that impression earlier, but hearing her say it… he kind of has to respond.

“Thank you,” he murmurs against her jaw, and he presses another kiss there. “For showing me, teaching me… for being… you.”

He wants to thank her for being his first, but there’s a part of him that hopes she’s also his last, his only.

Jyn turns in his arms, smiling at him, and her fingers run into his hair, brushing the strands out of his eyes. “Next time, we’ll try it with you on top?”

He likes the sound of that, but then his cheeks go red at the thought of spreading her out and exploring her with his mouth first.

“What?” she asks, and she’s breathless already.

Instead of answering, he just shakes his head.

“Get cleaned up. We’re going to need our rest.”

#rebelcaptain #rebelcaptain oneshot #rebelcaptain fic #swfic #rogue one #star wars #ficlet fridays #lowkey smut

[pingou7]

Nous allons enfin nous régaler! (Tell me what you eat and I will tell you who you are)

the food travel au 

3 ½ month film schedule. 31 countries. 24 episodes.

2 people who might just fall in love along the way. 

                        Chapter 3: France : Paris-Lille

Author: 

@pingou7

(Read on AO3)

They arrive in France on schedule and thankfully the whole crew has pretty much recovered from their stomach bug by then. Shara Bey looks a bit queasy in the morning perhaps, but everyone is still curious about what their short trip to the country of Haute Cuisine will entail.

Everyone but Jyn that is, and despite his growing anxiety — because this was France, people! — Cassian can’t help but notice that she has grown more subdued since they’ve picked out their luggage at the airport.

Okay, she’s in a mood and her French is infinitely better than what he personally recalled from High School. It’s true what they say about French being bad at languages, by the way: It’s not that people don’t bother, exactly, it’s more than they’d best not to, their accent makes it hard to understand.

Honestly, he just gives directions in Spanish and there the taxi driver gets it, easier for everyone. Until Jyn stops looking by the window and engages the conversation!

“Nous ne sommes pas en vacances. On est une équipe de tournage."

The driver seems ridiculously overjoyed to hear her speak his language and grins at her in the rear-view mirror.

"Vraiment? Pour le cinéma?"

"Non, la télévision, c'est un programme culinaire."

"You speak French?" Draven interrupts, interest picked. "I didn't know that, it wasn't on your resume."

"Now you do," she shrugs, turning back her attention on the driver.

"La cuisine française est la meilleure du monde, vous aurez de quoi filmer!"

"C'est l'idée. Mais la France n'est pas notre seule destination, on visite plusieurs pays."

Okay, all of this is so quick and fluid that Cassian can't follow. But he can see Draven's brain gear turning as he insists:

"What did you say?"

"Nothing important, I'm not disclosing anything, don't worry. We're doing a food show for TV, we do several countries. Our friend here thinks French food is the best, obviously, and that we're gonna have a lot to cover."

"It's a given," Cassian smiles, impressed by her proficiency, "it's nice of you to speak up, though. Might facilitate the dialogue, too."

"It's nothing to get excited over," Jyn grumbles, sighing, "I've been to France before and have a knack for language, this is just idle chat anyway."

He can’t explain why but there’s something unsettling for her, that has nothing to do with food poisoning. He's curious, but drops the matter when they make a mandatory stop in a boulangerie, where Cassian marvels about the variety of breads and pastries offered, not to mention the cakes...

Mothma actually volunteers, Luke is already taking out his smartphone and since Jyn has already proven her ability to speak French, she too is put to contribution. The two other cars choose to proceed however, waiting at the hotel.

Cassian, Mothma Jyn and Luke are originally sent to get some crusty golden baguettes, of course, their white crumb, thick and soft. Yet a man before them prefers a boule de campagne, round shaped and thicker still, browner and earthier too.

Fascinating.

Honestly Cassian feels perplexed yet eager to order and the seller is amiable and smiling has she suggests viennoiseries.

"We have to take at least a croissant and a pain au chocolat each for everyone," Jyn declares immediately, strangely bossy all of sudden.

"Can we get a brioche too?" Luke asks, eyeing the one in the counter with barely concealed longing.

"Sure, if you want," she agrees easily, translating the order.

"Oh, there's chouquettes too," Mothma exclaims delightfully, legit clapping like a little girl. Thus a small bag of choux buns with sugar pearls joins the order.

Like she was on a mission, Jyn finally asks for different types of croissants too:

"The regular type is made of fresh butter," Jyn explains, "but we will take the almond version too."

"Would you like some of our savoury version," the seller asks helpfully, "it's with cheese and ham."

While in English he'd known the pains au chocolat to be called chocolate croissant — even if the chocolate is hidden within — he gets primly chastised by Jyn:

"Contrary to popular belief, it's not the same thing."

"Sorry, I had no idea. How do you all even know this?"

"My sister Leia likes posh bakeries," Luke says as only explanation.

"Me too, though it's been years since I've had chouquettes," Mothma adds.

But to his frustration, Jyn doesn't say anything has she asks for the total. He commits as much information as he can to memory and Mothma actually has to chime in with a few Euros of her own since she, Jyn and Luke kept adding some douceurs to taste. Clearly they are more familiar with French pastries than they’d let on, but he doesn’t mind being educated on the subject!

In fact Cassian grins wilder as the demeanor of other clients goes from neutral to slightly amused. He even catches something akin to respect on the face of an old lady behind them, as she glances at the pile of sweetness.

Unfortunately, it’s an improvised stop and they can’t film on a whim right now — photos will have to do. That’s a shame, for Monica Mothma isn’t a woman prone to expansiveness and it would have been nice to catch this unscripted madness, even if just for themselves.

Eventually they buy enough to feed an army or for everyone to develop diabetes, at the very least. It’s all for the greater good of the show, of course... They actually film a tiny clip back at their hotel and post a few candids on Instagram.

Kes teases them for their sweet tooth, saying he should have come with just to protect the bakery’s supplies and Draven rolls his eyes, but both are getting their faces stuffed with croissants and pains au chocolat so... Though far from constituting a balanced diet, their purchases become the entirety of their evening meal.

To be fair, who knew there was so much type of stuffed viennoiseries to begin with? It’s almost maddening!

Rationally he knows he shouldn’t indulge so much on the first day but the bread is crispy, the brioche is sweet but light... choosing is a lost cause and truthfully nobody seems to care.

Jyn is seated across from him though and a tiny speck of chocolate stays struck at the corner of her plush lips. He starts to ogles her mouth and reflexively licks his own — just in case a crumb of his own is there, too — but thankfully she doesn’t pay much attention to the people next to her.

Instead, she keeps staring at an invisible point in her plate. No pastry deserves to be looked at with such sadness unless it got prematurely rotten, and he says as much, eliciting a chuckle from the guys. She momentarily meets his gaze as she bites in her pain au chocolat again but her spirits have not lifted. Failed attempt then... He hopes his heated cheeks are the result of the two glasses of red wine he had before dessert, he’s not usually this awkward.

But she intrigues him, he wants to know her better! She’s unpredictable too and rather enticing. She proves to be an asset to the show and not just as a Camera Operator. But of course there is no way he’s going to say it. Besides it’s wine and sugar load talking and they have to focus on the French schedule within the next hour.

"Last time I was here, I was 15," she finally reveals, "but there's water under bridge."

If he weren't focused on her, he might have missed it, but like a private oath, she whispers next: "Saw has no place on this job, nor in my life. Paris doesn’t change that."

He's the only one to catch that, but before Cassian can figure out the meaning of this comment, everybody’s head snaps up at hearing Draven clearing his throat:

“By public demand, we will be setting this episode slightly freelance, as we go up North. About the capital, Cassian has an appointment at “Au Doux Raisin” tomorrow. It proposes a panel of traditional French dishes that would be interesting to foreign viewers.”

Draven enumerates this in a flat voice, looking bored as usual, yet Cassian starts to freak out internally: France was renowned for its Cuisine. He even follows French cooking shows in his spare time! How is he supposed to do his own thing despite the legions of stuff available?

“Sorry to interrupt Sir, but how are we supposed to squeeze several sets in so little time? As far as I know, most traditional French recipes involve spending quite a bit of time if not the whole day over the stove.”

“Don’t fret Andor,” the Director retorts impatiently, “it’s not like you’re be the one doing the cooking, right? So spare me the nerves. Thanks to our split filming teams, most material will be easily covered too. You just have to taste and judge, not really a hardship for you, I suspect.”

No, perhaps not. But Cassian doesn’t like the way his Director is handling things tonight. Tension increases a bit in the room but he keeps his trap shut, not wanting to spark things off on their first night here. The traveling show was already bumpy enough as far as he’s concerned so better not add to the man’s frustration.

“I wanted to see the sights a bit. It’s the city of lights, it’s every lover’s dream,” Kes mumbles.

Unfortunately, it seems that he's not discreet enough.

“Dameron, if you want to play the tourist, plan a romantic vacation for your fiancée AFTER the rush. We’ve got no time for that and moreover, I don’t care for your personal life,” Draven chastises in a clipped tone.

Cassian suppresses a sigh but the case is closed, crew eventually dismissed for the night. He’s pretty sure Draven was a military at some point before going into production or he is one in an alternate universe, with the way he’s usually behaving...

The next day, the crew did some sightseeing before their appointment — they could not be here and not pause in front of the Eiffel Tower, couldn’t they?

"Come on, we gotta have a picture with all of us! It's Paris guys, you can't be more French than that!"

"We won't all fit on a single one," Wedge Antilles says.

"You already had me posing in London, Skywalker, I'm not doing this again. Besides, Cassian is the one that should feature, he's the face of the show."

"Please Jyn, it'd be a group pic, not just you this time. A memento. Don't you want to show this to your friend Bodhi?"

Damn Luke and his boyishness... Everyone caves, elbows and shoulders squeezed together awkwardly. As Kes and Shara are the only couple, they also strike a cheesy pose for prosperity, likely adding some "romance" to the collection.

They ignore people seeking them for money or whatever petition they wanted to get a signature for though... Some details must be glossed over.

"We're not airing on a discovery channel," Draven says, already checking his watch, "most of the tedious editing falls on Kay’s team anyway. Let's get going."

Of course, for professional purposes Cassian forgoes lunch, preferring to nimble on a sandwich so he’d be famished when the time to shoot arrives.

And arrive it does.

A van comes to pick them up and their materials for the intended point of rendezvous between the Jardin du Luxembourg and the Jardin Des Plantes, in the 5th Arrondissement. Quite a pretty place and Luke already mumbles about some hashtags and photos he’d like to take afterwards.

When they finally enter the brasserie called “Au Doux Raisin”  (At the sweet grapefruit) — a little before the opening, obviously, for the team has to settle — they instantly find themselves in a typical homey Parisian environment. From the very first second Cassian knows why the production chose this establishment in particular:

The meals offered represent just as many potential discoveries, yet not always the cheapest — within reasonable price range nonetheless. The brasserie sets a real atmosphere with portraits in black and white of old famous actors, an old-fashioned counter and something in the air so uniquely French that he’s surprised the staff doesn’t wear berets with white striped shirts.

Truthfully, everyone is excited, including Jyn who looks oddly happy to be there.

“We’re somewhere straight out of the movie Les Tontons flingueurs,” she says, watching their surroundings with sparkling eyes. At the lack of response she gets, she prompts: “You know, Crooks in Clover, also known as Monsieur Gangster? Ring a bell?”

To be honest the actors look familiar, Jean Gabin and Lino Ventura most of all, but nobody shares her excitement and she automatically returns to her defensive stance:

“What? I’m a cinephile and actually did study film making, you know? These actors are legendary among French cinema, you must have at least heard of some of them!”

“Somewhat. I'm more interested in the fact that this is the first time that I've caught you smiling since we’ve left England.”

Cassian only wished to put her out of her misery as they prepared the set. He gets a bit jittery before the beginning of each filming session so he likes to see people enjoying themselves, it calms him down. Yet somehow it was the wrong thing to say and her lit-up face turns stony as she replies:

“Yeah, well, let’s get this done.”

Smooth, Andor, well done, he thinks sarcastically as Draven yells action and a waiter gives him the menu. Most of the crew will stick to plates of charcuterie and cheese but he has a few possibilities to consider. Of course the list has been communicated beforehand, but ultimately Cassian always has the final choice, to stay as genuine as possible and because he prefers to eat whatever strikes his fancy. It’s more digestible in case of several takes.

Finally he chooses a “Bourguignon meal”: traditional snails then beef and wine stew, a plate of cheese and some crème brûlée to finish. Plentiful but really appetizing. Of course, if it weren’t for the show, he’d just stick with some of the various grâtins and be done with it, but the place calls for gluttony and as a presenter he has to make sure viewers will be satisfied.

If the French can stomach as much in one sitting, so will he.

(Still, he’s thankful Kay’s not currently with him or he’d be sure to get an earful...)

The preliminary speech done in a single take, the first course comes quickly. Famous escargots, classic of the French to eat snails, so the occasion was too good to pass on.

Cassian already had some experience tasting snails in the French way, had enjoyed it so he thought he didn’t have to mask his facial expressions.

He was wrong.

The promised “Gros Escargots de Bourgogne” come in front of him and truth be told they look appealing enough. But what the heck is he supposed to make of the... unusual cutlery... that the waiter brought along? It looks more like a surgical instrument than anything Cassian has ever used.

This entrée should come with warnings, explanatory note and step by step tutorial included.

For a split second Cassian blinks owlishly at the camera then he recovers, a consummate professional. Should be easily enough, really, right? A circular plate with six stuffed snails in their shells... a tiny fork with two tines... and pliers of some kind? It has a spring with a round extremity, obviously meant to keep the shell in place while with the fork he’s supposed to stab what’s inside.

Alright, I’ve got it, he reflects after a few nano seconds  of appraisal.

He doesn’t bother with explaining his course of action yet, focused on the task at hand while he states that the snails are cooked with a butter mixed with chopped garlic and parsley.

He looms over the snail closest to him, lift it slowly from his dedicated hole in the plate... but he hasn’t got the chance to use the fork. The damned thing escapes from the contraption and literally flies several feet away from his stunned face.

Nobody moves, not even Draven says cut, yet Cassian stares dumbly at the ruined snail on the floor, hidden two tables away from his. From the way Jyn angles the camera, he guesses she’s zooming on it too...

Fucking French!

It takes three tries for him to master the so called “pince à escargots” — to the utter delight of the crew around him, as they personally try some pâté de lapin à l’ancienne, saucisson sec or saucisson à l’ail and smelly cheese like Camembert or Roquefort.

By the time the Bœuf Bourguignon is served, he feels oddly proud to have won against the perfidy of posh Gastronomie, despite his bruised ego. Thankfully the beef stew is not as challenging, with a regular, universal and most of all reliable knife. Not that he really needs to cut anything, mind you: from what he knows of the process, the beef has macerated in red wine for hours to get this tender. The serving is pretty generous too, and it comes with boiled potatoes, mushrooms, onions and carrots. Thyme and laurel too, to perfume the whole.

He’s full when the four types of cheese come next but he explains the different milks each of them were made of. He actually has flash cards ready on his knees like a cheating schoolboy but their filming time turning short calls for desperate measures. At the dessert he struggles to get through. It’s delicious, it’s just that he reached the peak of his sugary intake. After a few spoonfuls immortalized on film, he hands the rest to Shara’s extended hands.

Overall, good stuff, really. Two glasses of red wine to complete the meal and footage aside, Cassian is more than satisfied with his Parisian trip.

They wrap it up, shake a few hands but take their time calling it a night. Paris is bewitching in the evening and the company is boisterous as they go along the shores of the Seine. Cassian uses it to his advantage, walking his meal off and doing his best to ignore the taunts made over the snail incident.

"I couldn't believe the famous Cassian Andor got bested by a snail. One that was already dead and cooked too," Jyn teases.

"Hey, I succeeded eventually, and it's not the snail as much as the tool that's to blame."

"Still, I thought you'd have more dexterity."

"Sorry to disappoint you, I'll do better next time."

It’s all in good sports really, but while Jyn snorts, Antilles sniggers and Luke stumbles, slamming against his back, blushing inexplicably. What has gotten into them? But she's still smiling as they drive back to the hotel and suddenly he doesn’t mind the French and their peculiarities so much. The production duo have still a decent amount of work before going to bed, but everyone else goes to sleep.

(Maybe Kes and Shara got MIA along the way but the contract doesn’t bind them to a curfew and Mothma turns a blind eye).

Cassian only wishes he had that much freedom as the so called star of the show. But it has been a long day and he would have nobody to share a nightly tryst. Cassian Andor is reasonable, professional and single to boot, so it doesn’t cost him much.

His dreams are fitful and slightly disturbing though. Jolting awake only five hours later, the only image that stays with him is of Jyn, replacing Nicole Kidman’s part in the Moulin Rouge! movie. She looked tantalizing in his subconscious and very not herself: less pragmatic and more eerily sexy.

He shakes the feeling away as he dresses himself. He has a long day ahead and can’t afford to fantasize about the only unattached woman in his crew. She’s a pretty thing and kinda mysterious too, but he is awake now and the dreamy bullshit has no incidence on his job.

He decides to tiptoe in the free area, seeking a cup of herbal tea. Whether mint or ginger should help with the food overload from the night before, surely such things could be found on the table set for self service?

He forgets all about beverages the instant he sees Jyn awake over an hotplate, her back to him. As her name stumbles from his lips, disbelieving, she stiffens visibly and spins slowly around.

Her voice is still sleepy and his annoyingly raspy as they greet each other. In November, the sun isn’t up so early and won’t be for quite some time, unfortunately and the bleached out white neon lights accentuate the exhaustion on her face. Very far from a dreamy cabaret dancer, his mind evaluates worriedly. Has she even slept? She’s dressed in her usual clothes already and ignores the elephant in the room as she asks why he too is already awake.

“I ate too much,” he answers.

“Well of course you did, not everyone can eat as much as the French do just before going to bed. Stomachache?”

“No, just energy of the calories pumping through my veins.”

“How do you plan to work it out then?”

He represses a smirk. With her velvet morning voice, it sounded a lot like an opening for innuendo. She realizes this a second too late and just purses her lips. They are not yet close enough to tease each other, so he throws her a lifeline and gestures to the food he interrupted.

“Isn’t it what you’re doing in the kitchen Jyn?”

“I wish. It’s just... I needed an outlet and I thought I’d best do something useful. Couldn’t wake my best friend.”

He wanted to ask her about what she needed an outlet for, yet people keep appearing and she visibly closes off. Obviously Cassian isn’t the only one awake as the self-service kitchen fills in slowly with the rest of the team. Fat chance, again. He sits, rubbing the back of his neck and mutters a hello.

“What’s the delicious smell I can sniff?” Luke asks, entering the room, nose upturned and honest to God sniffing the air like the human puppy he usually personifies.

“The bread and brioche won’t keep for much longer. So I’m making pain perdu,” Jyn answers, sending a fleeting smile in his direction.

“Lost bread,” Kes translates confusedly, eyeing the slices browning slowly browning in the pan, “what is lost about it?”

“Dunno, it’s just the name,” she sighs, repeating the process to make enough for everybody.

Or maybe the food isn’t the lost thing here, Cassian muses, she is, her tired eyes and forlorn attitude hinting as much. Then, realizing how stupid his thoughts are, he mentally slaps himself and hands the coffee pot to Wedge Antilles, who is blindly reaching for it, like a drowning man and a lifebelt, a junkie and his fix.

Seriously, besides Luke and himself, Cassian wonders how these people can do this work and NOT be morning people. Like, never ever. Kay has complained he had to put with them grumping and groaning until the clock reached 8 AM in the past, but at the time, he thought his friend was being his usual pessimistic self. But as he considers the bunch of sleepyheads around, he has to admit there was some truth to it.

When a plate arrives in front of him, with icing sugar or cinnamon for him to add on if he so wishes, he’s pleasantly surprised.

“You told me you didn’t how to cook,” he says, mildly accusatory.

He leaves the first slice bare, adds sugar on the second and cinnamon on the third, to have the full tasting range. As soon as he tries the first, the goodness dissolves on his tongue, creamy and buttery, the two variations making a perfect combination between sweetness and a tad spicy. He knows various ways to save stale bread, but somehow this tastes different. Besides them Luke was already helping himself with a second serving, grinning.

“Please, this isn't cooking Cassian,” Jyn shrugs. “I’m sure it’s not the first time you’ve had this.”

“Not like that, though, this is unique. How did you do it?”

Most of all he wants to know what prompted her to fix this at six in the morning. But even if he had the nerve to ask, she likely wouldn’t answer. So, asking for her recipe was as close as he was willing to go.

“I made the slices my own way. More often than not people use eggs where I used milk. Once the slices suck up all the milk, getting slightly spongy again, I put them in a salt-buttered pan. Easy, not haute cuisine.”

Easy perhaps, but her wistful tone speaks of something more. He knows preparing food can reveal a lot about a person — hell, that was the reason he got enrolled in all this cooking stuff in the first place… — and… well, he remembers their stunt at the Lahmu Restaurant in London. Clearly her relationship to food is… personal.

God, why Kay isn’t here to smack the corniness out of his head?! He almost feels like using a pan on his own skull if that could just stop his brain from overanalyzing a mere breakfast plate.

He doesn’t even have time for this, with the shooting schedule they have to maintain. After all, he might envy other people’s low functioning brains, they are saved much trouble.  

Draven announces their Parisian Interlude is over and satisfactory — praise the Lord for that — but he still has a surprise in store...

“A… bus?”

“Yes,” Draven confirms, ”we should be grateful, it’s fully furbished too, functional, and a bit cheaper.”

“Whatever spares us a flight,” Dameron says in relief.

“You don’t like flying?” Jyn asks, surprised.

“If I have to take hop on a plane, I will. It’s way quicker, after all. But yeah, if I have to choose, road’s better. Plus, we can build team spirit or whatever. It’d be like a school trip.”

“Oh yeah,” Luke cheers, absurdly enticed with the idea, “I’m sure our followers would dig that kind of thing, you know?”

“I wouldn’t know,” Jyn shrugs, “I never went on school trips, or I was so young I don’t remember. It’s weird.”

“It’ll be a new experience for you then,” Cassian encourages.

“I guess, but why do you care so much?”

(Good question.)

“We’re all in the same train wreck, we gotta stick together.”

(What was that nonsense... for sure if Kay ever heard him talk like that, he would deck him so hard his face wouldn’t be filmed for weeks!)

They take the A1 highway up North, chatting, napping, playing on phones... and yes, to Draven’s utter dismay, there are stupid songs involved at some point. Dameron started, Cassian picked up, and soon everyone was at least humming along. Perhaps because the driver couldn’t take it anymore, they stop in a rest area about midway until they reach Lille, the northern city that ends the French episode. As if the crew’s sugary consumption weren’t already high, they picked sweets again, albeit regional:

Two metal boxes, one with some minty ones called the Bêtises de Cambrai and the other containing toffee-like Babeluttes du Nord, to have a foretaste of their next local cuisine.

If they’re still alive to document it because Cassian swears he’s gonna die of hyperglycemia before they reach Amsterdam!

They have just one day left to shoot in France when they arrive in Lille two hours later, but they make it work. The city, nicknamed “the capital of Flanders” is picturesque in a different way than Paris, of course, but just as pretty. Places with fountains, houses made of red bricks and old cobbled streets, it’s nice.

As they have little time to spare — yet again — the rushes get more hectic than in Paris. It’s much less representative after all.

The people there talk pretty funny, with words even Jyn has a hard time deciphering, but all are very accommodating and helpful. A few wave at the camera and suggest a dish to try. It’s much more easygoing and Cassian relaxes pretty soon.

Not wanting to spoil any Belgian discovery by choosing a dish similar to what can be offered further North, he decides to try « a Welsh ». Like its name implies, this is not originally a French recipe but it became one of the easiest specialty to eat in Lille:

It is a sandwich composed of bread soaked with beer, cheddar cheese and mustard, covered with a slice of ham, dipped into a cream of cheddar cheese, heated in the oven in a ramekin. Not the most elaborate of the establishment they picked’ but it works perfectly with their thematic for the French episode and their lack of time.

Indeed, La Chicorée (The Chicory) is a brasserie like the one in Paris. Except it’s actually an hundred-year-old brewery, not just for the fancy name, and it’s open pretty late, until 4:30 AM. They are told it’s renowned, too, and Cassian can believe that easily.

For dessert, because apparently the mad guys around him have an insane tolerance for sugary treats, or really want him to die on the job, they have some stuffed waffles with cassonade. This version is thin, thankfully, crunchy, though the garnish of vanilla and brown sugar is most likely rich.

“I hadn’t had those in ages,” Jyn says drowsily, waiting for the Lille-Amsterdam flight a while later. “I bought some for my best friend, but I’m not sure I’ll resist the temptation for long. I’ll have to send them to him.”

“Really? How come? It’s good, but it’s not like it’s so addicting,” Cassian asks, because he still feels curious — perhaps sleepy Jyn is more inclined to share anecdotes?

“Wrong, they are addicting. I loved them as a young girl. I’ve spent some time in France over the years, but none so much as northern France. We were British, after all, so crossing the Chanel was easy and Saw... I mean, I’d known an old lady, Louise, who did such waffles for me.”

Yep, oversharing, he thinks with a smile, and there she is talking about a Saw again. More like eluding but it’s more talk than he ever heard from her. The schedule must take its toll on her, same as anyone else.

"You’ve spent holidays in France then, growing up?"

"My guardian actually had a job in France for a time. He was stationed not so very far from here for about a year, before we moved again."

"So the wanderlust goes way back? It explains why you took on the travelling show."

"Maybe. Saw and I never stuck around for long anywhere, but I've been happy there, it brings good memories for once."

At her conflicted expression, he guesses such good memories are far in between. He recalls her enigmatic whisper from a few days ago and surmises she must have had a falling out with her guardian. Cassian doesn't pry further though when she doesn't elaborate, but he stores the information for later.  

He’s almost snoozing when Draven — no human has the right to be this operative at 3AM... — hands him his phone, mouthing Kay’s name:

“Hello, Kay?”

“Cassian, did I wake you?”

“No, but that was close. Not everyone can be focused on the show 24/7, like Draven, or you. I feel like I’m slowly losing my soul to the cause.”

“Forgive me if I don’t shed a tear. And you’re as dedicated as the rest of us, you’re just being unusually whiny.”

“Well, you’re not here yet to keep me in check so I can be as petty as I want. I’ll feel better after we leave the country and get some sleep.”

“I’ve seen the first French rushes, actually, to see if they could be easily edited with ours. I have to say it’s fairly entertaining to witness your culinary struggles, Cassian. Especially the snail fetching.”

“Thanks a lot, Kay,”

“I’m serious, honestly it should make the final cut.”

“Did your illness kill your brain cells? What part of the first try should be included? The moment the snail flew across the room or the framing on my butt as I had to get on my knees under the table to retrieve it?”

“Well, I’ll leave it for Draven to decide,” his soon-to-be former friend replies wryly. “But just so you know, it could bring in more female viewers.”

“You’re insane.”

“I’m realistic Cassian, you have a very nice bottom apparently and judging from the people’s enthusiastic reaction on social media, you’d better use it.”

“I... don’t even know what to say to that. Do you even hear yourself?”

“I’m referring to the show’s ratings, not your sex life Cassian Jerón Andor! You know what, we will speak later, once you’ve put your mind out of the gutter!”

“I love you too man,” Cassian smirks.

Only the dial answers him.

#rebelcaptain #food travel au #rebelcaptain food travel au #fanfiction #pingou writes #chapter 3 #sorry I'm passionate about it #so proud #french #star wars #this gives me life #c'mon guys #love and reblog #pretty please #cassian x jyn #cassian andor #jyn erso

[moonprincess92]

A family can be 2 traumatised soldiers and their 30 kids (8)

1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7  

Read on AO3 

Part 8 

If there was one thing her life was lacking, it was friends.

Jyn didn’t kid herself that she was exactly friend material though, and perhaps that was mostly the reason why. She just wasn’t hardwired for that kind of relationship. After spending so long supressing any kind of emotional attachment, getting herself to relax and open up to even one person had been trying enough, but it hit her one evening when the kids were all in bed and Cassian was in a meeting that she… literally had no one else. She didn’t have anyone to turn to, to ask about or to check in with. She had a professional relationship with the princess, but she definitely wouldn’t go so far as to call her a friend. Leia certainly had too many of her own issues to deal with at the moment anyway. She had Aden and Tavisha, but they were still kids to her and probably always would be. They understood a lot, they had a lot to offer, but there were just some things that you couldn’t talk to your kids about.

In the end, Jyn ended up comm-ing the only person she could think of.

“Hey, Shara?” 

“Jyn?” the pilot answered in a state of utter confusion. “Is everything ok? Is this something to do with Poe–?”

“No, no,” Jyn quickly assured, rubbing at the pressure that was building behind her forehead. This was a horrible idea. “I was just – I don’t know whether it’s too late – but um, I need someone to talk to. Did you want to buy some illegal whiskey and get hammered with me somewhere?”

There was some rustling down Shara’s end, a dull thud like she’d hit Kes out of her way or something. “It’s never too late for that,” she answered at once. “Where can I find you?”

The whiskey was bought from a particularly well-known source within the Intelligence-circles. While the agents themselves were the face of the operation, Jyn was almost fairly certain that it was actually one particular spotty-faced kid in human resources who was the one doing the actual smuggling. Either way, High Council had no idea and monthly bar nights continued even though the entire rebellion was two steps from death these days. Jyn met Shara in her classroom on the main frigate, figuring that no one would suspect anything illegal to be happening there. They slumped down onto the cushions that Jyn had managed to steal from the haul of an intercepted Imperial shuttle to decorate the room with and passed the bottle between them.

“I can’t even remember the last time I got drunk,” Shara almost choked on the whiskey. “Gotta be before Poe was born.”

“Sorry if–”

“Kriff, don’t be sorry!” Shara added, shoving her shoulder sluggishly. “I’ve never felt so alive!”

Jyn felt the giant knot of tension in her chest loosen slightly. “Thanks,” she said. “I… I realised that I basically have no friends. I have Cassian, but we’re apparently getting through this by carrying on like normal. There’s not even a lot left that we could say to each other because he gets it. But sometimes I think there’s still some stuff I want to get out and I don’t…”

“You literally change my son every time he soils himself, I am fuckin’ HERE FOR YOU,” Shara declared. 

“Actually, Cassian mostly handles that job. I only do it when all else fails.”

“STILL.”

“You really are a lightweight, huh?”

“This stuff is kriffin’ strooooong,” Shara glanced down at the bottle in her hands before shrugging and gulping down some more. “So talk to me, Jyn. How’re you goin’?”

“Honestly, not good, Shara.”

The other woman hiccupped slightly before saying, “I joined the rebellion after Scarif. I only ever heard about it from the rumours.”

“The rumours are mostly true.”

Shara took another shot. “Shiiiiit.”

“Although I didn’t get revenge on the man who killed my mother by gouging out his eyes, everyone always gets that part wrong,” Jyn pointed out, hastily. “Cassian stopped me before I could get that far.”

Shara looked like she might have been recovering slightly when she had to go and add that point on the end. She shook her head before handing the bottle over. “I always… sometimes I wondered,” she admitted as Jyn drank. “How you and Cassian had gone from blowing shit up to looking after kids.”

“There’s a lot of rumours about that too,” Jyn pointed out. “Unfortunately, the truth is I broke some guy’s arm and Mothma got pissed off.”

Shara nodded, lips twitching. “But I think I get it now… well maybe, I don’t know if I could ever really get it... but after everything you’ve been through, I can understand wanting to do less. Looking after those kids isn’t any easier, but at least you’re not getting shot at every other day, right?”

“I don’t know about that,” Jyn could recall several target practices where her kids’ shots had gone only slightly awry. “but… yeah.”

“I can’t imagine what you’re dealing with.”

Jyn closed her eyes, letting the alcohol swirl her brain. If she let it, she could so easily spiral out of control right now. She could let the panic sink in, let it crush her until she couldn’t breathe, couldn’t speak, could only scream and scream and scream, and maybe it’s what she felt like doing, but as always she didn’t have the time. The kids needed someone to assure them that the galaxy wasn’t ending, that it was all going to be ok, and she knew Cassian was on the verge of snapping as much as she was. If she lost it, he might too and they would be of no use to anyone in the Medbay… but as much as that was all true, it also meant that they hadn’t really dealt with it at all.

Her chest constricted as she fought to keep the waves crashing over her.

“Yeah, I apparently need a moment,” Jyn admitted. “I’ve done enough talking, I’ve done enough keeping it together… I just need to break down for a bit. It’s going to be ugly, Shara.”

“We all need a chance to be ugly, girl,” Shara told her.

“I’m serious–”

“And I’mmmmm drunk,” Shara added. “but serious too, yes. Jyn do whatever the hell you need to do. I’ll be here.”

And she was.

Jyn almost didn’t catch the symptoms.

“EMERGENCY DRILL,” she suddenly barked, hitting the app on her datapad. The siren blared, loud and deafening, and instead of the usual immediate flurry of movement, it only elicited a few stirrings and a lot of pained groans. Jyn smirked a little at her classroom full of sluggish teenagers, the lot of them having been moaning and complaining all day so far and now at last she seemed to have figured out exactly what was up with them all.

She cut the siren off. She wasn’t that cruel.

“All right, losers,” she said, cheerfully. “If that had been the Empire invading you’d all be dead, so do yourselves a favour and confess now: who provided the booze?”

The class froze. Rivi was slumped back in her chair with a spare pair of flight googles over her eyes and hadn’t moved for over an hour while she was fairly certain that Geron had slept through the entire drill, but she noticed a lot of panicked looks being exchanged across the classroom. They ultimately all came back to the same person however, and Jyn paced slowly until she was right in front of her chair.

“Lahrin?” she asked. “Care to explain?”

“It wasn’t MY idea,” she deflected at once.

Jyn was almost 1000% certain it had been. As much as she loved Lahrin, the girl had been manipulating situations to her advantage ever since she had arrived as a sweet, innocent-looking 15-year-old two years ago. “Look, I don’t care that apparently, a bunch of you all went and got black-out drunk last night,” Jyn sighed, glaring around at her roomful of what were clearly hungover teenagers. “what I do care about is still being able to protect yourselves. The Empire won’t give you a pass just because you drank too much.”

“Easy for you to say,” Lahrin pointed out. “You were totally hungover in class last week.”

Jyn pinched the bridge of her nose. Hungover hadn’t even been the start of her issues that day. Shara had eventually dragged her back to her room around 0500, passed out, her knuckles skinned and her throat burning. She hadn’t been in much of a state to do anything the few hours later when she needed to be awake…

“Don’t get snarky with me,” Jyn warned. “if you’ll remember, I still came to class. I still did my job.”

Lahrin at least looked a little chastised. Jyn sighed.

“Look, I know things haven’t been easy,” she told them all. “Wait – can someone wake up Geron for this?” She waited as Dan kicked Geron awake and Vance was forced to take away Rivi’s goggles to make her look up. “Guys – being honest, I’m not handling the news of the second Death Star well. But I’m still here and I’m still getting through it. You can drink yourselves stupid if you want, but you all have to keep going, ok? If I have to, you guys have to as well. And with that being said,” Jyn grimaced at what she was about to ask next. “tell me the gossip. Who passed out, who hooked up…?”

Thankfully, she got some laughs out of that. “I wouldn’t kiss any of these losers!” Lahrin practically choked.

“Way too close for that, eh?” Kris teased, poking her on the arm.

Rivi just snapped her goggles back on.

“Don’t worry, we were safe,” Vance felt the need to hastily add.

“Ok, I’ve heard enough,” Jyn held up a hand.

These days, she held Cassian a bit too tight. She kissed slightly too hard and pushed him around far too much, and he didn’t even mind. He never stopped her, never complained, but she didn’t want this to be their only way of connecting anymore. Every time she thought that enough time was passing that they could start to figure things out again, something else would happen and they would backslide once more. This time, it was hearing the rumours that a group of Bothan spies had come up with a plan to get more intel on the new Death Star, and it reeked too much of Scarif that she ended up fucking Cassian within an inch of his life on their refresher floor.

“I’m sorry…” she said in a hoarse whisper, once they had finally crawled into bed. He lay on his back in a kind of stupor. By this point, Jyn usually had a few hours before the usual tension and dread started settling in again, but she looked down at him and realised that it was already there, or maybe still there, stabbing at her heart and not letting her go. This wasn’t fixing things. Jyn reached out, curling an arm over his chest and curling herself into his side as much as she could, a leg hitching up over his hip.

“I’m a mess,” she whispered.

“My mess,” Cassian corrected. “Besides, me too.”

She clicked her tongue at the sentiment. “We should be talking, not fucking.”

Cassian made a non-committal sound. “We can do both.”

She attempted a laugh, but it got stuck in her throat somewhere and came out as a kind of gurgle. “Cassian…” she whispered, head firmly tucked under his so that there was no way she could accidentally meet his eyes. “It’s all just happening again. The Bothan’s are going on a suicide mission, the entire damn Death Star, we keep on trying, we keep on fighting and fighting but nothing ever makes a fucking difference.”

“I know.”

“You’re supposed to reassure me, that’s how comforting works.”

“I don’t know how to do it when I feel the same as you,” Cassian pointed out. His arms squeezed around her tighter, his hand sliding down to hold onto her thigh like an anchor. “About 99% of my time, I feel like I want to punch something and the only reason I don’t is the kids.”

They fall quiet for a few long moments at that. It was comforting to know that she wasn’t alone, that she wasn’t the only one feeling like she was, but then again it was jarring to realise that she didn’t have someone to talk actual sense into her. Shara let her cry and Leia let her work, but she needed someone to let her deal and she could practically feel Cassian starting to come to the same conclusions that she was.

“Shit,” he muttered. “We both really need to see someone, don’t we?”’

“You mean a professional someone,” It wasn’t a question. She sighed. “Yeah, I know.”

Unfortunately, the rebellion was severely lacking in well, basically everything. It couldn’t even provide basic nutritional food, let alone a functioning therapy system, but luckily they all apparently made do with the informal help of the medics. Jyn quite famously didn’t get along with any of them (probably from the amount of times she’d defied their ‘no visitors except for direct family’ rule) but she would make an exception if it could in anyway help stable her peace of mind. She at least owed it to the kids to try.

“In the morning,” she murmured, kissing his neck. “One of us will skip class and go ask about who to talk to. If it’s the batty old lady who tried to curse me for trying to visit Ann when she was sick, then I’ll just take my chances.”

Thankfully, he let out a bark of laughter.

“Tell me a random kid story?” Jyn asked then, keen for any kind of distraction. “How were they today, did they behave?”

Cassian chuckled. “Quite a few of them got married, actually.”

“I’m sorry, what?”

He pressed his lips to her hair. “I think they were kind of inspired by our wedding, but Arlo was the ringleader. I caught him trying to dress up in my jacket and when I asked what he was doing, he said he was getting ready for his wedding. He’d roped everyone into it apparently, set out all the chairs, made an aisle, got Danny to be the officiator and Bree and Charlee as the flower girls.”

“Who was he marrying?”

“Oh, multiple people,” Cassian chuckled. “First, he married Haley. Then he married Lyle. He was going to marry Fliss next, but Pero got possessive and I worried for a moment we would have a duel over her.”

“We might have to have a talk to him about that.”

“Thankfully, I managed to calm them all down,” Cassian agreed. “Honestly, it was hilarious watching. Arlo insisted on kissing all of them, too.”

“Isn’t he still six?”

“He was really into the authenticity of the thing.”

“It’s weird to think Arlo was once that little kid I had to take to the toilet every damn time he needed to poo.”

Cassian nodded against her head, but she felt the tension seeping back in just from the way she was wrapped around him. His muscles clenched and she rubbed her hands over his back, shoulders, in an attempt to keep it at bay, at least just for a little longer. No matter how much they distracted themselves for, their issues always came sneaking back in eventually. 

“Don’t think about it,” she murmured.

“I’m trying,” he whispered back. Then after clearing his throat, he spoke a little louder. “What did the teens get up to today?”

“Well, apparently they’ve all taken up partying recently, so honestly trying to get them to do anything in class is a nightmare…”

Medic Dhanya Hightower didn’t look like much. She was small, long hair always braided down her back and a smile perpetually on her face no matter what was happening within the Rebellion. She must have seen countless injuries, wounds too terrible to even describe, yet she was always willing to listen. She was always willing to make time, and that’s how after some asking around, Jyn found herself in Medbay storage, leaning against the shelves and talking while Dhanya ticked varying stock off her datapad.

“Jyn, babe,” Dhanya said without even looking up. “it’s not your fault.”

“I know… but my brain still thinks it is.”

“I guess that’s what we all do,” Dhanya nodded in understanding. The woman always understood, somehow. “Do you speak much to Captain Andor about all this?”

“A little… but we realised that while talking to each other was good, we were both too far into this to be able to help each other,��� Jyn wished she could get away with only speaking to Cassian, but here she was. “I wouldn’t be here if it was helping.”

“You know that he’s come and spoken to me too, right?”

“We both decided it was for the best.”

“I’m glad you did,” Dhanya smiled at her warmly. “A lot of people come and talk to me, but even more don’t. I’ve known of Captain Andor ever since I first joined the rebellion ten standard years ago, and this is the first damn time I’ve ever been able to actually help him.”

“Yeah, he’s not exactly forthcoming.”

“But he is with you.”

“He married me,” Jyn shrugged. “He has to be.”

Dhanya laughed. “Jyn, can I ask you a question?”

She hesitated at first. It was a natural instinct to immediately protect herself from anything trying to force its way inside, but the last thing Dhanya would do is force. Jyn had sought out the informal therapist of her own free will, had spoken to her about things she hadn’t properly spoken of in years, she knew this was safe and confidential and ok… but it was hard to let go of natural instincts.

“Sure,” she shrugged.

“What’s your biggest fear?”

So many things could come to mind. There were the obvious things, things that Dhanya was probably expecting – that this new Death Star would kill them all, that she would die, that her father would be disappointed in her, that Cassian would die – but honestly, the first thing that came into her head was none of these things.

“I’m afraid that if I break down any more than I already have, then I won’t be able to do my job properly,” she admitted. “I’m afraid that I’ll hurt my kids.”

Her kids, her kids, her kids.

“Wow,” Dhanya rested her datapad on a shelf for a moment. “You… really love them, huh?”

“I would die for them,” Jyn said, trying to keep the ferociousness out of her voice.

“I didn’t realise.”

“No one really does,” she said. “I don’t think anyone ever actually did this job properly until Cassian and I came along.”

“What’s the most ridiculous thing a kid’s done?” Dhanya asked enthusiastically then.

Kriffing hell, where to start. “Erm,” Jyn shrugged. “a kid tried to strangle me once?”

Dhanya’s eyes went wide.

“Don’t worry,” Jyn added. “he’s gotten better over the years. Reno’s only mostly an asshole now.”

“I’m honestly in awe of you, sometimes.”

“Thank you,” Jyn said. “and honestly… thank you. For talking to me. And for listening.”

“Of course.”

“JYN! JYN!” Vance practically crashed into her as they were all leaving the mess hall. His hands grabbed at her arms, nearly shoving her to the ground thanks to the 16-year-old’s weight. Jyn staggered as she exclaimed,

“What the hell–?”

“DID YOU HEAR? YOU HAVEN’T HEARD – HAN’S BACK! THEY FOUND HAN!”

That changed everything.

Jyn had no choice but to be dragged behind Vance as the kid sprinted for the hangar. Specifically the West Hangar, which was where all outside ships usually docked and went through screening before being allowed in. Jyn knew that Leia had been out on yet another mission to try and recover him, but how Vance had figured out that she was successful this time was beyond her. He tugged on her hand, pulling her through the crowds that were slowly gathering, the rebels who wanted to see the esteemed captain return home, and Jyn called out,

“Wait, wait! How the hell do you know he’s back?”

Vance skidded to a halt at the edge of the crowd, neck craning over all the heads. “I might’ve gotten Jessa to hack ship communications,” he admitted a little sheepishly.

She wasn’t even surprised. “Wait – Jessa can hack?” she decided to focus on.

“Oh, yeah – she’s fucking good at it, too! Can slice her way into anything.”

“I’m going to be having words with that girl…” Jyn muttered. A good data analyst she would make one day, but only if she used her powers for good. Jyn had to wonder why she hadn’t thought of teaching the skill until now. Luckily, they didn’t get sent out of the hangar. They had to hastily pretend to be unloading a recent shipment to avoid the crowd getting moved along, but they were still there by the time the unmistakable Millennium Falcon was eventually docking.

Han Solo looked like shit, put bluntly, but he didn’t keel over when Vance hurtled up out of nowhere and flung his arms around his middle, so he at least had that going for him. Leia didn’t let go of his hand, her tired face suddenly with a lot more life to it. While Han gingerly patted Vance on the head, Jyn hastily apologised for being unable to keep her kid under control.

“It’s fine,” Leia told her. “Thank you.”

“I didn’t do anything.”

“You let the kids go to Salahar,” Leia reminded her. “Their intel allowed us to find him. Without you, he would still be lost… so thank you.”

Jyn shrugged it off, but it hit her a little to see Vance so ecstatic upon seeing his hero back safe and sound. She didn’t hug Han herself, but accepted him clapping a hand onto her shoulder in acknowledgement. His presence, it seemed, had also brought a sense of urgency since Leia parted ways with, “There will be a briefing soon. Main council chamber. You and Andor need to come.”

“You know we can’t fight anymore–”

“Just come,” Leia insisted. “You’ll want to hear this.”

“Is this another battle?!” Carina was yelling in a panic.

“I’LL FIGHT ‘EM!” Reno punched the wall in his enthusiasm.

“Are we gonna have to evacuate again?” Ava clung to her waist, fearfully.

“EVERYONE, CALM DOWN!” Cassian’s booming voice was apparently the only thing that could get the entire youth class back under control. Their classroom really wasn’t big enough to comfortably accommodate them all anymore, but they had squeezed them all in for this, which was probably the only plus to this mess. It meant that the kids were all together, hearing the news at the same time; they sat huddled together, small ones on bigger kids’ laps, and it was at least comforting to know that they had all come a long way from that first classroom she had ever walked into. But the news of the scattered rebel fleets all being called in from across the galaxy, of a major council meeting that for some reason Jyn and Cassian were having to attend, it was scaring them all.

Jyn didn’t blame them.

She sat next to Cassian on the one table that they had in the room, Poe held safely in her lap. He was being unusually clingy, refusing to be put down and holding onto her pants or shirt for dear life if he was. Cassian spoke to the kids in that calm, yet still commanding way of his, which helped at least a little in putting everyone at ease.

“Look,” he explained. “we honestly don’t know what this meeting is going to be about. Just know we’ll only be gone for one morning and will be back in the afternoon. One of the other usual training officers will watch you guys, it’s nothing to worry about.”

“But this isn’t a normal meeting, is it?” the ever perceptive Trina called out. That caused several others to pipe up and Jade to sign frantically at them.

Truth was no, it wasn’t a normal meeting. But if her sessions with Dhanya had taught her anything, it was that they needed to carry on as normal as possible, no matter how crazy it might seem. Honestly, if the kids weren’t prepared for what was about to happen then Jyn certainly wasn’t, and the only thing keeping her heart from slamming out of her chest was Cassian’s hand occasionally reaching out and brushing against her side.  But they could do this.

They had to.

She caught some anxious looks but the next morning they still left for the council meeting, making their way through the giant frigate only for it to eventually be confirmed that every Bothan who had gone after information about the new Death Star had died. After everything else they’d been through it was barely a blow at this point, but Jyn still felt her eyes close at it regardless. Cassian pressed his forehead subtly into her hair for a moment. This was it. It was all happening. They were attacking, and it was happening again, and someone actually had the audacity to ask whether Jyn and Cassian were going to be on the strike team sent down to Endor.

“We couldn’t,” Cassian insisted. “We can’t, you know that.”

But there were a lot of eye rolls at that. She heard someone mutter under their breath, “Who let the babysitters in?” Someone called down from the top of the tiered seating, “Why were they even allowed in here?” and Jyn was half ready to leap up there before Cassian could even get a hand on her shoulder.

Mothma hushed the chatter at once, but turned to Jyn and Cassian while General Akbar explained the logistics of the attack in the background. “While others might not think the same, I do not expect either of you to fight,” she told them without preamble. “You were asked here as it was thought you deserved to know what was happening.”

They’d been on this side of the pressure before. Jyn knew that look in Cassian’s eye. They were incapable of not helping whenever someone asked for it, but this was way bigger than anything else.

This was no Hoth evacuation, this was a carefully planned attack.

“We understand,” Jyn answered. “We can’t join the troops, but we thank you all the same.”

“You should do it.”

Goddamn kriffing hell –

She and Cassian both whirled around. She almost thought she might have a heart attack at seeing several of their kids lurking at the entrance to the hall, Rivi being the one to defiantly step forward and call out. At once, the other teens hissed frantically at Rivi to come back while several council members gave exasperated groans and looks that clearly said, can’t you keep these children under control?

Honestly, sometimes Jyn didn’t think it was at all possible.

“I am so sorry – ALL OF YOU!” she leapt at her feet at once. “OUTSIDE, NOW.”

She ended up practically frog-marching the kids down to a nearby control room to yell at them in peace, Cassian rounding them up at the back with an equally furious look. It took a couple moments for her to realise it was the same room that she had retreated to after hearing about the second Death Star for the first time. Cassian stood at her side once they had all filed sheepishly in, arms folded across his chest and glaring in that way he knew would make the kids cower.

“WHAT DO YOU THINK YOU’RE ALL DOING?” she stormed.

“Look what you did, Rivi, Jyn’s mad!” Geron hissed.

“YOU BET YOUR FUCKING ARSES I’M MAD,” Jyn said.

“Look, we just wanted to know what’s going on!” Rivi insisted. It was their group of eldest teens who had apparently snuck out – Jessa, Lahrin, Geron, Neera, Vance and Rivi – though Jyn had no doubt they would also be reporting back to everyone else. “Honest! You guys wouldn’t tell us, so what else were we supposed to do? Jessa tried slicing into the mainframe, but all the briefing notes were encrypted, so–”

“Bitch, way to throw me under the shuttlebus–” Jessa shoved Rivi hastily.

“I’M JUST SAYING,” Rivi threw up her hands. “We only wanted to know. We hate not knowing.”

Jyn rubbed her eyes. Shit, she had underestimated their kids in the worst way. Nothing was going to stop them from finding out. They were nearly adults, and they only wanted to know what was happening. She exchanged a look with Cassian and knew he was thinking the same thing.

“Look,” Cassian began. “you’re all in major trouble for sneaking out of class, let’s get that clear first. But…”

He gestured vaguely to a clear space in the middle of the control room, and they all sat down together. It felt like a moment to be sitting down for, at least. Jessa and Lahrin leaned against each other, Neera tucked underneath Jessa’s arm like a child still. Vance leaned back against a store cupboard, Geron resting against him with his legs over Rivi’s lap, despite all their frustration still at their ringleader. Ready to listen, because really that’s all they had wanted.

A chance to listen.

“How much of the meeting did you hear?” she asked.

“A bit,” Neera admitted.

“You all know already about the new Death Star,” Cassian explained. “We finally got intel. Where it’s located, its status, everything. It’s currently over a moon called Endor, so far non-operational and being overseen by Emperor Palpatine himself. A lot of people died to get that information.”

“Like you guys nearly died the first time,” Rivi said without hesitation.

Something stabbed her.

“Yes,” Cassian closed his eyes a moment. “The council is organising an attack on the Death Star. There are going to be two teams, fighter’s striking from space and another being sent to Endor to take out the shield that’s protecting the thing.”

“Yeah, yeah, we got that part. C’mon, guys! Don’t worry about us, you need to do it!” Rivi said, amidst more ‘yeah!’s and nods from the others. “The fucking EMPEROR is on that thing, if you guys manage to blow him up you could end the entire war!”

“It’s not that simple–”

“We don’t want you to hold back because of us,” Neera piped up.

“Yeah, we can take care of ourselves–”

“Hell, we could even help–”

“STOP, all of you,” Jyn snapped. They all fell silent. “You’re not helping, and we’re not going! Don’t even argue!”

“But don’t you want to?” Rivi, naturally, just ploughed on without a care. “You have a chance to end this, and we all know how much it would mean to you–”

“Rivi,” Jyn cut in. She stared around the confused faces of the teenagers and said in a slightly more gentle voice, “Look… yes, it would mean a lot. But the thing is, we have shit in our lives that mean more now. You, Rivi. And the rest of you insane kids,” she added, gesturing to the others. “You mean more to us than…” She trailed off helplessly, glancing over at Cassian.

“Anything,” he finished.

It was tempting. The knowledge that the Emperor was there, that there really was a good chance to get justice for her father and to seize a life she hadn’t realised how much she wanted until now… it was almost enough that the kids were giving them permission to go.

But they were children, and they were the adults, damn it. They had to make the hard decisions.

“I don’t get it,” Rivi threw up her hands.

“We don’t expect you to, Rivi.”

Just because the council was planning the end of a war didn’t mean that everything came to a screeching halt. It was Ava’s 11th birthday, which meant naturally they had to have a party for her. It at least seemed to lift some of the tension as they decked out the training gym in decorations and they all attempted to learn the traditional (and somehow hugely complicated) birthday folk dance that Ava apparently wouldn’t accept unless it was done perfectly. After some intense searching on the holonet, Jyn had managed at least to get the feet right and Ava shrieked with glee as they span around together.

“How the hell are you getting this?” Cassian didn’t exactly do out of breath, but she noted the exertion on his face at least as he pulled up alongside her. The man had no rhythm at all much to Ava’s severe disappointment and Jyn’s utter amusement. Hell, at least it gave her something to be amused about. She paused in the dance, letting Ava move on to a different partner and watching her grab onto Magda, swinging around with her instead.

“I pick things up quickly.”

He glanced at her as they took a break from dancing. The kids span and laughed underneath the coloured lights, and Jyn wished she could freeze it all. “Ava’s 11…” he said after a moment, shaking his head. “It can’t be real. She’s supposed to be a little eight-year-old who can’t go to bed without a goodnight hug.”

“To be fair, she still needs the hug.”

“True,” Cassian pointed out. “but she’s not allowed to get older.”

“I don’t know… I kind of want her to,” Jyn realised. She noticed Cassian’s questioning look and she carried on, “Just… this is a war. Malia will never be older than 18. I try not to imagine the kids getting older, because I know it will hurt more if they died… which I know probably isn’t very healthy of me to be thinking,” she added.

“I understand, though.”

She smiled as she watched Ava lean in and kiss Magda’s cheek, ever the cuddly, sweet one. “Thank the Force someone does. So when they do get older like this… it’s kind of a nice surprise.”

She wanted that life for them. She wanted them to have a life wholly different to hers, where it was actually a miracle if she reached her next birthday. She wanted these kids to actually grow up, get older. She wanted to see them hit the awkward puberty years, she wanted to see them slowly turn into adults, she wanted to still be there for them when they comm-ed her at 0200 asking how to wash sheets.

They wouldn’t get that chance unless they won this war.

Jyn sighed, reaching out and casually curling her fingers around Cassian’s.

“I’ve got to fight.”

He gripped her hand tight.

“I know.”

The rebellion moved in a hurry.

It seemed that no matter which way you turned, there was a shuttle heading in that direction. For as many squadrons that were coming in, there were enough also going out to distract the Empire from the fact that they were planning something in the first place. As non-combatants, Jyn got the message that the youth class was being shipped out to the nearest Alliance-friendly planet first thing in the morning, something none of the kids were all too happy about. Considering that up until this point they’d always managed to be in the thick of the action like during the Hoth evacuation, she wasn’t surprised that they weren’t taking too kindly to getting sent away.

“C’mon, we could help!” Azha was yelling, even as she was being carried sideways around the middle by Cassian like a smashball. She flailed her legs as she was hauled up the loading ramp. “I could kick some serious Imperial ass!”

“I know, you’ve only been complaining about it the last 24 hours,” Jyn rubbed her head, warily.

Cassian dumped the girl unceremoniously onto the shuttle, even as she continued to protest. The hangar was full of noise, the hustle and bustle of loading and unloading, people saying goodbye and officers trying to keep a semblance of order by frantically trying to keep track of how many were boarding. Jyn had been attempting to herd the kids onto their shuttle for the last half an hour, even with Ava clinging around her waist the entire time and refusing to let go. “Honestly,” she muttered under her breath. “You’re not making this easy.”

“I wanna stay!”

“You’re not staying, now get on the damn shuttle.”

“NO.”

“CASSIAN.”

Cassian thankfully strode over and scooped Ava up in one movement. By the time he made it back to the shuttle, both Azha and Reno had managed to jump out the doors and escape once again.

Kriffing hell.

“LOOK, look, come here guys,” Jyn hadn’t wanted to do a big goodbye. It felt too final, too much like she wasn’t coming back, but apparently nothing else was going to settle them. She sat down on the loading ramp (much to the exasperation of the officer overseeing their evacuation) and gestured for everyone to gather round her. Bree crawled into her lap while everyone thankfully listened to her this time. Cassian stayed standing, she noticed. He’d been on edge ever since they’d gotten the official evacuation notice, and the folded arms across his chest told her that he hadn’t lightened up at all since then.

“Look, I need you guys all to listen right now,” Jyn called out to the class. “This thing that is happening, it’s important. It could change everything, or it could change nothing, we honestly don’t know how it’s going to go, but we need you to listen. Get on the shuttle. Stay with Cassian. I’ll see you all again when it is safe.”

“You’re not gonna die though, are you?” Haley asked, her face crinkled in concern.

Jyn smiled through what was honestly a lie. “I’ll have Aden and Tavisha with me. I promise I won’t.”

Still, Jyn made sure to hug every single kid that then grudgingly walked onto that shuttle. She reminded Reno to keep his fists to himself and Warrin to keep squeezing his stress ball if he needed to. She had to deal with Bree crying as she handed her over to Cassian and held it together when she clapped a hand onto Talek’s shoulder, accepting his small nod as a warning to please be careful. She tried to avoid watching Carina, Caylen and Ann as their parents came over to say goodbye, much like all the other kids who had parents who hadn’t already left yet to take part in the attack.

“Honestly!” the officer overseeing them spluttered when even Aden and Tavisha came over to say goodbye. “How many more kids are coming on this flight? Because my manifest already says that we’re six seats short, there’s no way we can fit more on–”

“There’s another shuttle evacuating the medical and support staff,” Jyn just rolled her eyes. “Some of the older guys can just go on that one.”

While Jessa, Lahrin, Geron, Neera, Vance and Rivi got diverted to another shuttle (“Jessa, you are in charge, don’t let those hooligans out of your sight!”) Jyn finally got a chance to pull Cassian to the side. Fingers sliding in against his, she let out a breath as they stood together, blocking out anything that wasn’t the other’s breath.

“I still don’t like you going without me,” Cassian said, quietly.

“We both know one of us has to stay with the kids.”

“I know,” he sighed. “I’ll look after them.”

“You better. At this point they’re likely to stage a mutiny.”

He at least chuckled slightly. Jyn tilted her head up and his lips quickly met hers, melting together for a long a moment as they dared. She wished there was more time, time to slide her hands up his spine and for him to tangle his fingers into her hair, but the officer with the datapad was coughing pointedly behind them and she pulled back hastily to hug him.

“Destroy that thing, ok?” Cassian whispered, mouth pressed against her ear. “Destroy it and come home.”

“I will.”

She watched the shuttle take off with Aden and Tavisha’s arms around her.

Jyn slammed an elbow into a Stormtrooper’s chest plate, regretting it immediately at the pain that flared. Still, she carried on, slamming her boot into the joint of his thigh and he crumpled to the forest ground. She ran, trying to activate the comm in her ear at the same time. She’d been hearing Leia calling her the last fifteen minutes or ago, but had rather had her hands full. Tavisha was with another group, but Aden skidded to a halt when he realised that Jyn was pausing.

“Go on!” she yelled. They needed all the help they could get.

Aden simply pointed his blaster at her. Something gripped her throat for half a second, before she realised that the shot had gone somewhere over her shoulder and taken out a Stormtrooper who had been moments from blasting her brains out from behind her.

“Nah, I’ll stay here,” Aden called, cheerfully.

Jyn rolled her eyes before finally calling Leia back.

“Sergeant Erso!” Leia could barely be heard over the shots fired, Ewoks screaming in fury and the occasional explosion. “The bunker doors have been deadlocked and R2 is compromised, we need help.”

“I can call–”

“I’ve tried,” Leia cut in. “All the signals back to the fleet are going haywire, there’s just too much traffic–”

“I’ll get through,” Jyn insisted. “You concentrate on not dying.”

“Oh, Han has that covered.”

“I’ll bet,” Jyn muttered, before pulling the comm out of her ear and attempting to manually patch it through to any of their base ships up with the main rebel fleet. She just had to hope that she got lucky and for one moment she thought she had – but then she heard a bunch of voices all yelling over each other in amongst a lot of shaky static. She almost tried a different frequency…

Except.

“Shit, shit, someone’s trying to contact the ship!”

“Are you fucking kidding me?”

“BACK UP CAN’T COME TO THE COMM RIGHT NOW.”

Why did that sound a hell of a lot like –

Oh.

Fuck no.

“Like you’re all going to be,” Jyn suddenly snarled down the comm. “Unless you all tell me where the hell you are right now.”

Silence down the comm. Aden stared at her weirdly, before slamming the butt of his blaster into a ‘trooper’s helmet.

“Oh fuck,” the unmistakable voice of Lahrin said.

“OH FUCK SOUNDS ABOUT RIGHT,” Jyn yelled. “What the HELL are you all doing? Why aren’t you with Cassian – WHERE ARE YOU – you’re all being black-carded!”

“Shit, we really are in trouble now,” Neera’s trembling voice put out there.

“NEERA – HOW MANY OF YOU –?”

“There’s only the six of us!” Lahrin insisted.

“FOR THE RECORD,” there was a loud scraping noise before Rivi’s voice thundered in, like she’d just knocked something over in her haste to explain herself. “THIS WASN’T MY IDEA.”

“Yeah, you just encouraged it.”

“Vance, I’m breaking up with you.”

Jyn didn’t have the goddamn time for this. Her kids were apparently up there somewhere, not safe on a planet systems away, but right in the thick of the battle. They could be fucking shot out of the sky, what the HELL were they thinking –

“Look, we will handle how much trouble you are all in later!” Jyn barked. Much to her inconvenience, she noticed an AT-AT making its way closer to where she was, and even Aden couldn’t hold that off. They sprinted together through the underbrush as Jyn carried on, “I need to speak to whoever is in charge of whatever shuttle you’ve all apparently stolen!”

“We didn’t steal it!”

“We just – hitched a ride?”

“But anyway,” Geron called out, clearly a bit further away since his voice was more tinny than the others. “That’s gonna be a bit of a problem since our only pilot kind of just fell unconscious.”

Cassian was going to get an earful about this later.

“What the hell happened?”

“We only wanted to help,” Lahrin insisted. “So we fudged the numbers of the flight manifest so that we’d get put on a different shuttle and convince the pilot to come back.”

“And that worked?”

“When we stole his blaster, yeah.”

“You are all dead meat. Continue.”

“Well, we got back but we got hit,” Lahrin said. “The shuttle isn’t too compromised, but the pilot hit his head.”

“Wait, then who the hell is flying?”

“Vance.”

Honestly, these kids were going to be the death of her. They were naturally only doing what they had been taught, which was to always do the right thing and a part of her couldn’t help but even be a little impressed. Of course Vance could figure out how to fly an unknown shuttle with only an indecipherable instruction manual and his own limited knowledge learned on his own time. Of course Lahrin managed to fudge a ship manifest. Next, Jessa would be using her slicing skills to –

“Ok,” Jyn shook her head. “Ok, ok, ok. Hold on one moment, let me just–” She had to shoot her way across a clearing, Aden covering her back. She kicked at a Stormtrooper that was attempting to shake off the Ewok on its back and quickly dove into the brush on the other side. “I’m back,” she said down the shaky comm line once more. “Now listen to me, you little shits. I need Jessa, I’m assuming she got roped into this too?”

“I’m here,” the seventeen-year-old’s voice was quivering and she wasn’t surprised. This was the same girl who had broken down in her arms when Malia had died.

“Good,” Jyn said. “Jessa, we have to open the doors to the control centre that the shield is operated from, but they’ve been deadbolted. I need you to slice in remotely, I know you know how to do that–”

“Using this shuttle’s equipment?!” Jessa said in a panic. “Jyn, I can’t–”

“YES, YOU CAN, because this entire damn plan is counting on it!” Jyn said. “JESSA, listen to me, I know you’re scared. I know you probably only got dragged along on this hare-brained scheme because you’re the oldest and you felt like you had to protect the others, but you are strong. You are brave, and you can do this.”

For a long moment, she heard nothing but static that occasionally cut back into the frequency. She could hear the insisting beeping that told her that Leia was no doubt waiting on another line, but she already knew what she wanted. She had to believe that Jessa could do this. Her skills had already surpassed what Jyn had been capable of herself when she was younger –

“Ok, I’m gonna try,” Jessa said.

She did. And the second that Leia stopped trying to get through, Jyn knew that her kids had done it.

#rebelcaptain #rebelcaptain fanfic #rogue one fanfic #dailyrebelcaptain #ro fanfic #ro #kid fic #a family can be #YALL THOUGHT I FORGOT ABOUT THIS FIC DIDN'T YA #BUT IT'S HERE #and i don't expect anyone to still be into it #but i'm finishing it anyway #if u DO happen to read it and like it pls reblog me <3 #my fanfiction

[forever-rogue]

Rooftop Sessions - Part III

Summary: Y/N is a therapist that works with war veterans that ends up meeting a mysterious stranger who asks for her help. 

A/N: This is the final part! Woo! I hope you all enjoy it and I want to thank you all for your support and for reading! Feel free to send in prompts and requests, just note that I will not be able to get to them until Mid-end of January since I will be abroad for a while. Let me know if you’d like to be added to my permanent taglist!

Word Count: 2.3k

Pairing: Bucky x Reader

Warnings: Mental Health

PART I | PART II

Y/N couldn’t help but sneak glances at the handsome man sitting next to her on the couch whenever she could. She had worked with James Bucky for what seemed like forever now. In reality, it had only been a few months, but they felt like kindred spirits in a way, like they had known each other a lot longer. When he had finally removed his disguise and showed her his real self, she couldn’t deny she was immediately smitten. Not only was a good, honest man, but he was handsome as hell.

“Y/N? Hellooooo? Earth to Y/N,” she felt a piece of popcorn hit her face as she snapped back into reality. She picked it up and popped it in her mouth, followed by her sticking her tongue out at him.

“I was paying attention, Buck. Just saw a spot on wall,” even as she said it out loud, she realized how lame her excuse was. She could feel her face heat up under his intense gaze.

“If you were paying attention, then what was I just saying?” A smirk tugged at the edges of his mouth as he raised his eyebrow at her.

“You were talking about importance of...popcorn?” She quickly hid her face under the blanket they were sharing in embarrassment. She had definitely been caught.

“Popcorn? When would I ever talk about that, you little liar?” He chuckled as he pulled the blanket up and stuck his head under it so he could meet her gaze.

“Hiya,” she grinned at him shyly.

“Hi pretty girl,” he gave her a dazzling smile as he reached for her hand and pulled her closer to him. His touch was electrifying to her, and they both felt the sparks run through their bodies.

She leaned forward and rested her forehead against his. It was a small, but intimate gesture. Things were still new to them and they were still testing the waters, but they flowed together so well. They often didn’t even need to say anything out loud, they both just knew what the other was thinking or going to do.

Nether of them had intended on falling for the other or starting a relationship, but once things started, they couldn’t stop it. After the first night Bucky had revealed himself to her, she knew her feelings for him were real. It progressed quickly and shortly after he had kissed her for the first time - it had been slow and gentle, but perfect. After that they slowly became inseparable.

Y/N knew it was wrong to date someone who was technically your client, but she was wiling to make an exception for him. It wasn’t just her helping him, but he was helping her come to terms with her own issues as well. A sort of yin and yang.

After a few moments of blissful silence, Bucky kissed her cheek gently. She smiled at the feel of his soft lips on her skin. He leaned back against the couch and she laid next to him, resting her head on his chest.

Neither of them said anything as the worry of the following day was slowly sinking in. Bucky’s trial had been going on for over a month now, a hard fought battle from both sides, but Y/N was sure that Matt Murdock was going to win it for Bucky. He had a way of even making the worst situations seem normal or better.

Y/N had watched everything unfold closely on TV, making sure to stay away from social media and the overblown dramatizations. She had made the decision to stay from the courtroom, a decision Bucky was okay with, in order to avoid causing any scandal or someone realizing that they had started a relationship. Instead, she kept herself occupied with her other clients, eagerly waiting to talk to Bucky in the evenings.

But tomorrow, everything was coming to a head, the arguments were concluding and the decision would lie in the hands of the jury. The jury, Y/N had noted, were diverse and of various backgrounds and ages and she hoped that would all be in his favor. They would all find out soon enough.

“I don’t know if I should be freaking out tomorrow, or remain calm,” Bucky let out a long, heavy sigh.

“Don’t be nervous, Bucky. I think Matt’s got this in the bag for you,” she wrapped her arm around him and held onto him as tightly as she could. She just wanted him to feel safe, “people are going to see who you truly are.”

“Who am I? Sometimes I feel like I don’t even know anymore,” he tried to make a joke out of it, but she knew he wasn’t fully joking.

“Bucky, you are a good man. You were forced to do terrible things against your will. You tried to fight back against them, you tried to get your own freedom back. Would a bad person really have done that?”

“It was Steve who really helped me,”

“And so it was. Your best friend through and through. It doesn’t matter how or why you stopped, what matters is that you did. And you haven’t done anything since. I think that speaks to the person you are,” she tilted her head up and looked into his face. His eyes were closed but a small smile was there.

“Thank you. You always know just what to say,”

“I’m not saying anything that isn’t true. You have been burdened with all this pain, and it’s about time you were able to get rid of it. You deserve happiness, just like everyone else,” she snuggled tighter against him and placed a kiss on his chest.

“Thank you,” his voice was soft and barely audible as he started rubbing her back softly. It wasn’t long before the two of them were both asleep, holding each other tightly.

When Y/N woke up the next morning, she was still on the couch, covered with the blanket from the night before. There was no sign of Bucky. She frowned to herself, annoyed she missed him, but saw a note on the table.

I didn’t want to wake you up, you looked too peaceful. I had to leave to meet Matt and go to court. Today’s decision day. I’ll call you as soon as we find out.

She quickly read over his words and felt the knot in her stomach grow. Although she was sure that he would be acquitted, the fact that she didn’t know for sure made her anxious. She didn’t know what she would do if he was found guilty, she hadn’t let herself think that far.

She sighed and got up and got ready to go to work. At least that would keep her mind off of things.

“Dr. Y/L/N?” Her eyes snapped back onto the client in front of her.

“I’m sorry, Jyn. I completely zoned out. It’s not because of you,” she was embarrassed to have been caught off guard by a patient.

“It’s okay,” the young woman gave her a big smile and continued to eat her ice cream sundae. When Jyn had first requested to meet Y/N at her favorite ice cream spot, Y/N was a little surprised, but quickly grew to like the idea when she had some of the best sundaes she had ever had there, “I know we’ve all got lots of things going on, not just me.”

“Oh Jyn, you are important too, and this is about you. I’m sorry. Please continue on,” she gave the young girl a big a smile and took a bite of her melting ice cream.

“I was recently thinking about when I first came home,” her shoulders slumped a little bit, “everyone treated me like a doll. I hated it. I just wanted to be treated like a normal person, because that’s what I am.”

“How did you end up approaching people about that? What did you say to them?”

“Everyone was different. I mostly didn’t tell people, I went along with it,”

“Why?”

“Because it was easier than arguing with them,”

“So you put yourself second to satisfy other people, when they should have been making you their priority,”

“Yes, I suppose so,” Jyn narrowed her eyes and concentrated on her ice cream.

“That’s what I want you to work on for our next meeting. I want you to make yourself the priority and if you disagree with something, speak up. Your opinion matters, okay?”

“Yes, I think I can do that,” she gave Y/N a small, but confidant smile. Her eyes quickly flitted up the large television screen behind Y/N’s head. She watched it for a few seconds before looking back at Y/N, “did you see what’s on TV? The Winter Soldier’s trial is ending today. I hope he gets off. He’s just like all of us, really.”

Y/N’s eyes widened in surprise as she turned around and looked up at the TV. The headline read that the jury was in deliberation, “hey Jyn? I’m sorry to do this, but I’ve got to go, okay?”

“Oh, are you okay?”

“Yes, I’m really sorry. I’ll make it up to you, I swear,” she quickly grabbed her bag and ran out of the ice cream shop. She couldn’t be around any news right now, it would only make her more anxious. She decided to go to her office and do some work. There she could isolate herself at least.

Y/N tapped pen against her notepad; it was empty but for a few hastily scrawled notes. She thought she would be able to work on a paper she had been trying to write, but it was to no avail. Her mind kept circling back to Bucky.

She frowned to herself and made herself turn her attention back to the notepad. She wrote down a few more things, taking the time to make writing immaculate. She jumped a little bit when her phone started buzzing from the corner of her desk. She snatched it up quickly and saw Bucky’s name. She took a breath and swiped to answer it, “Bucky?”

“Y/N, it-it’s fantastic news,” she sighed in relief as the weight in her stomach disappeared, “I’ve been fully pardoned and acquitted.”

“Oh Bucky, that’s the best thing I’ve ever heard,”

“I’m so relieved, I can’t even begin to thank Matt for everything, and you of course,” she could hear the smile in voice. She couldn’t even begin to imagine how he feels.

“I don’t think there’s anything you have to thank me for,”

“I do though. You’ve been there for me and stayed by my side even when you found out all the horrible things I’ve done. And you helped me work through them,”

“I-thank you. It means a lot to hear that. I will always try and help you, Bucky,” her words were like gospel to him. He was so glad she would be by his side.

“You’re like my own angel, Y/N,” he laughed a little bit, “I hope you’re free tonight? I’d like to take you to dinner.”

“I’m always free for you, Bucky. Meet me at the office?”

“I’ll be there in twenty,” she hung up the phone with a smile and started closing up her office, eagerly waiting for Bucky’s arrival.

Shortly after, a soft knock came at her door. She opened it and was met with a sight of a large bouquet of flowers.They were pastel daisies and tulips, her favorites. She quickly grabbed them and clutched them to her heart, “these are beautiful, Bucky. You really didn’t have to.”

“I know, but I wanted to. Flowers for my flower,” she smacked his arm a little bit and he stepped into her office. She grabbed a vase she had sitting on her shelf and popped them into it, filling the vase with water and sitting onto her desk, “they look perfect there.”

“For everyone to see,” she wrapped her arms his neck and stood up on her tiptoes to be eye level with him, “I’m so glad you’re free. Now you can do whatever you want and never have to worry about anything or anyone.”

“I know. For the first time in so long, I fee free and at peace,” he wrapped his own arms around her waist and pulled her flush against his body.

“You deserve it,” she leaned forward and captured his lips with her own. He smiled in her kiss and they only pulled apart when they needed air, “what do you think you’ll do now?”

“There’s so many things,” he gave her a big smile, “but I was thinking about traveling for a while. See all these wonders of the world and I’d like to see Africa too and what not.”

“I think that sounds like a wonderful plan. I’m sure you’ll make lots of great memories,”

“Well, I wasn’t really planning on going alone. I was hoping you’d join me,” he have her a shy smile that melted her heart.

“Really? You want me to come with you?”

“Absolutely,”

“I don’t think there’s anything I’d rather do,” she gave him a quick peck, “or anyone I’d rather go with.”

“Then we’d better go and get dinner quickly so we can pack-”

“Pack?”

“Our flight leaves in the morning. I figured Europe would be a good place to start,” Y/N’s hands flew to her face in surprise. She had never expected they would be leaving this soon.

“Bucky, that’s incredible! I can’t believe you,”

“Surprise!”

“I’ll say,” she jumped a little in excitement, “you’re the best, Bucky Barnes.”

“I’ll be even better with you by my side,” she beamed at his words, large smiles plastered on both their faces. He reached for her hand and opened her office door to lead her away and onto their next adventure.

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[littleroma]

Exasperation is thy name - Chapter Eight

Chapter One Chapter Two Chapter Three Chapter Four Chapter Five Chapter Six Chapter Seven Chapter Eight

Jyn flicked her fingers over the screen in front of her; she still wasn’t sure if what she had heard in this interview was in any way accurate.  Pulling up some of the background information, she set to work on attempting to corroborate some of the claims that Designation: Hawkeye had set forward.  If there was one thing that Jyn shared with Dacia, it was a belief that it was good to try and scare up more than one source.  She thought, in the case of Dacia, that it was a byproduct of her Jedi training, then later from some of her studying while she was masquerading as Darcy Lewis.

 Entering into a bit of a fugue state while she tried her hardest to get answers for some of the things that were bothering her.  There were some things she felt weren’t sticking well with her, but she couldn’t even say that she knew what it was that was bothering her, all she knew was that there was something there that was giving her pause.  Frowning when she found some areas that looked as if there were going to take a longer time for her to confirm, in saying so, she jumped a little when Cassian and Dacia made their way into the room.

 “So did that make either of you two want to scream?  Some of what that guy was saying was borderline hard to believe, why would he would he even believe some of those things?” Cassian grumpily asked storming into the room.

 “Yeah, he seems more than a little confused about some of the things he was saying.  What I’m struggling with is the idea that he signed up for something that he wasn’t completely clear on what he agreed to, it boggles my mind.  It’s doesn’t seem like the smartest thing to do, certainly not when signing up for a new phone contract, never mind going out to fight in a situation that you don’t understand very much about what you are potentially signing your life and soul away for. Is there any way that this would make any sense?” Dacia nodded her head in assent to what the man was saying.

 “That it doesn’t sound like it would make a lot of sense.  But some of what the guy was saying didn’t make a lot of sense to me, so I emailed Ms Hill, I wanted to try and see if there was anything in the guy’s background that would make his actions any more explicable and while I wasn’t able to find anything.  At least nothing that immediately jumps out, but Ms Hill was able to give us a small bit of something.  She told us that the guy was not known for his intellectual abilities.  I wasn’t able to work out if the woman felt bitter over a slight, but it seems to check out, what she is saying I mean.” Jyn answered the two, gesturing at the computer screen.

 “Okay, well based on that I can’t see that as having changed.  It doesn’t seem like something that has changed greatly over the years.  It doesn’t seem to have gotten into the man’s head to start trying to think things through.  We might end up having to put a pin in these thoughts, not while we have to start interviewing Designation: Scarlet Witch.  Is there anything that they wanted us to bring up in regards to this situation?  The last thing we need is to go into an interview with her and not have some form of questioning that we want to begin softening our way.” Dacia allowed the two in front of her.

 “That is fair enough, but for now we need to know if there was something that we should be aware of, Jyn did they at least give you some questions that they could initially ask, even some way in which we should point our questions? Cassian asked the two, running a hand through his hair.

 “Yeah, they wanted to know if we could scare up some information on how the woman got her powers, or even some of her background before she decided that joining with HYDRA was a splendid idea.  Though something tells me that it will be difficult for us to get any and everything we need from the woman, or at least it would be easier getting blood from a stone than it would be getting answers.” Jyn spoke confidently, having looked down at some of the notes she had had open on the screen in front of her.

“For right now, we need to more concerned with who goes in to talk with her.  We need to be smart about this.” Cassian sighed.

 “Right, I’ve been thinking about that, and it would make more sense if Jyn were to talk to her.  We should send in Jyn to ask questions because maybe she will be able to get past the woman’s guard.  I am happy to stand at the back; I am sorry Cassian, but I don’t trust that the woman wouldn’t try to reach for her powers.  From what we have seen, I would be the only one that can take her down, even temporarily, without causing lasting harm to her.” Dacia told the two.

 Cassian could only nod his head at the woman, briefly shaking his head to show that he wasn’t offended.

 “That’s fine; we don’t need to start begging for trouble before we are ready to deal with it.  Is there any point where we can begin asking questions.” Cassian calmly told the woman.

 “Right you are, we need to ask the obvious questions, such as does she understand the predicament that she has found herself in. We should try and get further on her background because even if we can’t find an answer, we might be able to gather more hints, maybe something she accidentally lets slip.” Dacia spoke, grumpy with some of the things that she had been told.

 Dacia ran a hand through her hair, still finding the situation going forward to be remarkably challenging to deal with. Peering down at her hands momentarily and wondering what she would like to tackle next.  Jyn broke the silence for the trio and began to speak.

 “While I was waiting for you guys to show up, I was able to look further into the current situation in the State Department, would you like to know what I found out?” Jyn spoke, while the other two to nod their head in assent.

 “I was able to find that the former security of State was called Elizabeth McCord, I already told you that, yes?  She worked at the CIA, and I haven’t been able to find a lot of details on her earlier career, but that is a power of the course for a spy agency like the Central Intelligence Bureau, so I’m not too concerned.  At least not with my inability to find anything, I’m reluctant to try a deep dive into the agency, my theory was that I don’t want to attract undue attention towards us and our motives.  I was able to find that McCord worked with President Dalton, while the two still worked at the CIA.  He brought McCord in to replace the previous Secretary of State when he mysteriously died.”

 “When McCord first started working at the State Department, some of the other senior Staffers weren’t sure if they could trust her. I’m not 100% sure of what exactly happened there, but after a while, the woman was able to gain their trust.  Her Chief of Staff then was called Nadine Tolliver, who has since left the Department for different pastures.  Her most recent Chief of Staff was called Jay Whitman, some of the staffers who worked under the woman.  As far as I can tell Whitman still works at the department, but as I’m sure you can guess, the guy is under near-constant scrutiny.”

 “Right, but that doesn’t mean anything for us. Yeah, it sounds strange, and it’s something that we would want to investigate, but we can’t spare any extra time on it, at least not when we have other things we need to focus on.  Does this lead anywhere Jyn? Dacia prompted, wanting to get her friend back on track.

 “See, I thought so too, and I spent a little more time on it, simply because I wasn’t sure where it would ultimately lead.  I mean we do have bigger concerns, but as always something was drawing me in, and I couldn’t put my finger on it.  At least not until I came across this.” Jyn tried to explain.

 Pinching her two fingers together, she enlarged on the files in front of her and flicked it up to display on the big screen in front of her.  Looking briefly at her friend's faces, she huffed when she could see that the two weren’t getting as excited as she would like.  Deciding that it would perhaps be better if she could explain to the two of them what exactly had attracted her attention.

 Certainly less time-consuming.

 “You see what I found was that President Dalton was diagnosed as having lived with Meningioma, a brain tumour that was pressing on the frontal lobe of his brain.  These types of tumours can impair the executive function of the brain, affecting things such as the judgement, decision-making abilities and lowering inhibitions while they are dealt with.”

 “Right, but what’s that got to do anything we’re dealing with?” Cassian asked, already becoming impatient to get the answers that he wanted.

 “I’m getting to that; it doesn’t seem like it would affect us on the surface, but I looked even closer.  Dalton recently threatened war against Russia, something which could be indicative of the type of significant personality change, with typically excessive displays of emotions.” Jyn continued to explain, looking even more animated in what she was saying.

 “The point Jyn, THE POINT WOMAN!” Cassian roared, already becoming fed up with the woman’s waffling.

 “Right, I have one of those.  The point is that the cabinet invoked the 25th Amendment, and President Dalton was left with a choice of either stepping aside to have his issue, at this point they didn’t know about a tumour, or to see his name being dragged through the courts.  It was up to his Vice President Theresa Hurst to effectively hold down the fort while the guy was medically treated.  From here it gets a bit murky, but what I have been able to piece together is that Hurst was thinking (and making definite motions) towards making a run for the presidency when Dalton’s time is up.  What I’ve been able to work out is that while the man wasn’t there, Hurst was able to outmanoeuvre McCord, and oust her from the State Department.  This served two purposes; she was able to weaken the other’s woman’s position, don’t forget that McCord was in no way a politician, a bit of fools mission personally speaking.  And it was suspected that McCord was looking at making a run for the presidency, Hurst didn’t want to have to fight off the woman that was polling a lot better than she was.  She was able to get into the now vacant position a face from her past, General Ross.  I can’t work out why she wanted Ross, in particular; maybe it was an old debt or something?” Jyn got more and more animated as she told her story.

 “Right, that’s interesting but does McCord have many supporters left the State Department?  Because that’s where it would start to concern us right?” Dacia tried to hurry up the woman, still not sure if she was amused by how Jyn was getting on.

 “I knew you were going to ask that, so I did a little digging.  When McCord was still there, she was surrounded by staffers; Daisy Grant, Matt Mahoney, Kat Sandoval and her assistant Blake Moran along with Jay Whitman. Those staffers are all still there, but in a diminished capacity, I suppose it was recognised that General Ross might not have been able to function – it would probably have been something completely different from what he was used to doing.  From what I have been able to tell, those people have been working from within to bring down General Ross.  As soon as Dr Stark wakes up, he might be able to put the final nail in the man’s coffin so to speak.  Have we heard anything more about the guy?  What’s is his prognosis?” Jyn finished by peering over at Dacia.

 “I have been listening to some of what they’re comfortable telling us, which understandably isn’t a lot.  It’s easier to say now that it looks as if the guy’s vitals are starting to level out.  It just concerns me that so far, he hasn’t woken up.  Jyn is there anything that you could think of which might impact this might have on his physical health.” Dacia explained, crossing her arms over her chest as she thought through some of the issues that they were likely to face.

 “I’m not a licenced medical practitioner, at least not in this universe.  So all I can say is that you should trust the doctors and medical staff surrounding him. You can bet that the Stark money would open up the doors to the best of the best.  For now, though, that’s all I feel comfortable speculating, at least not before I can look at his medical notes.” Jyn explained.

 “Okay, that’s fascinating, truly that’s fascinating, but we need to get moving with some of the rest of the interviews.” Cassian tried to hide a yawn before he continued, “I can see why you may begin to become even slightly fascinated with the whole mess back in Washington DC, but that doesn’t completely affect us.  At least not now, can we focus on some of the questions we need to think about asking the questions that we need to be answered!”

 “Right, you are, before we get started, do you guys have any questions that you definitively want to be answered?  I don’t need to point out to you guys that we only have one first interview at the woman; it’s more likely that we will be able to shock something out of the woman on the first time around.” Dacia pointed at the man, acknowledging Cassian’s point.

 “No, I think that we are honestly better just going in and seeing what comes to mind.  If she manages to bring up something that we aren’t expecting, then surely it would be better than we don’t feel constrained by questions.  At least, not when we could be faced with a sudden windfall regarding unexplained and questions that we aren’t even aware that we should be thinking off.” Jyn thoughtfully told the two what was going through her head.

 “Okay, Cassian, would you mind keeping an eye on us through the CCTV, we don’t want to miss anything, just in case we should miss anything?” Dacia spoke, looking over at Cassian.

 She stood off slightly to the side and looked over at Jyn, waiting for the woman to follow her lead and make for the door.  Holding up her left arm briefly, she joking held it pointed towards, she carefully bowed in the direction of the woman. Hearing Jyn laugh was all that she needed

 “Come on, then joker, we need to talk to these people!” Jyn laughed, before skipping from the room.

 Cassian looked up at the two women and shook his head briefly before returning his focus to the screens directly in front of him. At least, some things would never change, and the two would always be inevitably laughing and joking with one another, at least when it wasn’t something more serious.

 WHOOSH

 Jyn made her way from the room and briefly slowed in her steps long enough for the Jedi to catch up to her.  She suddenly paused in her steps and peered back down the corridor for the woman to catch up with her, tapping her foot up and down impatiently.  Not wanting to deal with any hurt feelings, Jyn smiled at the woman while she rolled her eyes at the woman.  Reaching up with one of her hands, she absently began to itch at one of her arms while she waited for the woman.

 Looking over at the woman rapidly gaining step with, Jyn turned away from the woman and began to walk in step with her.  The two knew that what they were about to undertake was no doubt going to be very important.  At least as far as being able to understand some of how they should begin to move forward about the woman.  Hopefully, it would shine a light on the woman, and even though it was a remote possibility, it would shed more light on what kind of impact the woman was having on their emotions.  At the very least they were aware that they might only be able to get from the woman her name.

 At the very least Jyn was prepared to be disappointed with what the woman came out with during the interview, but she was always aware that it was better for to go in with an open mind.  That way at least she wouldn’t be too heinously disappointed with whatever it was that she learned.  Because wasn’t that the point of this whole shindig?  To get answers to the some of the questions that plagued them?  Or at the very least be able to fill in some of the blanks surrounding their questions? No matter which way Jyn shook it, she was stuck with someone who believed in asking questions, so for now, at least she could pretend to understand where the woman was coming from.  She felt like it was a good thing to do a little digging and get the answers to some of the questions that she felt needed answering.

 Taking a small breath in through her nose, Jyn peered at the woman beside her and opened her mouth to speak.

 “Do you have any questions that you would like for me to press her on in there?”

 “No, I honestly feel as if the woman might provide us with some answers if we don’t prod her for answers, at least, not until we can start to limit our scope.  In any case, I’m not sure if the woman won’t give us something to go on, at least not without playing mind games on us.” Dacia told the woman, walking alongside her.

 “Ugh, when was the time when I thought it was only the Jedi who would be likely to play mind games with me again?”

 “Yeah, there were some assholes in the Jedi Order, but I didn’t think that you would have been likely to run into any Jedis?” Dacia teased the woman, suddenly concerned that the woman would have had a run in with Darth Vader.

 “Don’t worry I didn’t come across Vader’s radar, at least not beyond the whole Father connection.  It doesn’t strike me as something the guy would keep an eye on. No doubt he found it too important to keep the universe still living in fear.  He had bigger things to be concerned about.” Jyn reassured the other woman,

 “Ugh, point.  I came across the guy who I suspected later became Vader, well suspect is a weak term, I was able to work out that it was him.  While I still knew him as a Jedi, he was a sweet guy, so I’m honestly unable to work out exactly what happened to make the Dark Side seem like a reasonable place any rational being would want to be.  My point is that I don’t think you should joke about that, because if Vader had it out for you, then it could be a bad thing.” Dacia spilt in one of her trademarked spill of consciousness.

 “Fair enough, but do you honestly think that anything could track us to this Universe?” Jyn worriedly asked as she stole a sidelong glance at her friend.

 “No, I haven’t come across any indication to even hint at anyone being able to track us here.  I just wish that you wouldn’t belittle the threats that we did end up facing. It makes them seems trite.” Dacia sighed.

 “Okay, well we need to go and get started on the rest of our day here.  Ladies first, madame!” Jyn told the woman, laughing.

 Jyn looked over at her friend Dacia and wondered if there was any particular reason that the woman had chosen to wear her robe today.  Feeling as if the nerves were ready to crawl up her throat, was this some sign that the woman felt as if she needed some way or method with which to hide her face.  It was times like this when Jyn wondered if the woman had some form of fore vision when it came to the future.  Normally Jyn wouldn’t even entertain the notion of anyone being privy to what could happen in the future.  Though she privately felt as if she couldn’t simply dismiss any of Dacia’s abilities, she had seen too much to write them off.

 The two woman simply looked at one another, before nodding and entering the room.  As one they were able to peel off and start on their separate tasks, they had both worked on these tasks together and separately, at least to the point where they were both able to perform their tasks without having to rely on each other for help.

 Dacia made her way towards the prison cell that contained Designation: Scarlet Witch, turning only briefly to peer back Jyn.  Jyn was stood beside the central computer and was efficiently keying through a few of the features; she made sure to manipulate the keys to the rest of the cell doors.  Jyn didn’t want for even the slightest chance of the prisoners to be able to escape.

 Not on her watch in any case.

 Nodding over at the other woman, Jyn silently watched as the woman stepped to the side and began to tap through the features on the wall mounted screen.  Jyn focused her eyes back on the door to Designation: Scarlet Witch’s cell, she wanted to make sure that that woman wouldn’t take any opportunity to make a grand escape. Smirking a little, when she noted Dacia is making her way into the woman’s cell quickly.  Waiting for what she was sure was a split second, she saw the woman coming back out with her quarry safe in hand, she pressed a few of the buttons again and made sure that she locked the woman’s cell behind the two women.

 Silently following the two from the cells, Jyn wondered how the two were going to continue moving on.  Finally, the odd grouping reached the small room where the interview room.  Dacia proceeded to make sure that Designation: Scarlet Witch was securely lashed to the table in the middle of the room before she nodded to a wary Jyn. When Jyn saw that the woman had nodded at her, she carefully took an opposite seat to Designation: Scarlet Witch. Glancing over her shoulder carefully to check what Dacia was doing, she saw that the woman had carefully stepped back with her hands resting on either side of her hips.

 “So hello, Ms Maximoff, now before we get started on this interview, I want to know if you at present are relatively comfortable.” Jyn started with an easy question, knowing that her job was going to be much easy if they could at least pretend to be cordial at the beginning.

 “Yes, I don’t know why that would matter to you, but for all that it matters, for all that you care, then yes I am comfortable.” Designation: Scarlet Witch looked slightly conflicted as she answers Jyn’s simple question.

 “That’s good, now as to my second question, do you understand why you are here?” Jyn gently asked, not wanting to let her hand show this early.

 “No doubt, it’s got something to do with that monster Stark right?  Everything wrong with this situation has got his disgusting fingerprints all over it.” Designation: Scarlet Witch spat, the venom clear in her tone.

 “Well, why would you say that?  You broke the law, don’t you think that you should have paid the price for breaking the law?  You didn’t have to come out to fight if you hadn’t then you wouldn’t have been in this situation at all.  Can you explain to me why you got yourself involved?” Jyn tried to prod the situation back to the subject at hand.

 “It is always Stark’s fault; it is always that monster’s fault.  He took my parents and my brother from me; if it wasn’t for him, then I might still have my family.  WHAT POSSIBLE REASON WOULD YOU HAVE TO SAY THAT IT WOULD BE ANYONE ELSE’S FAULT!”

 “I’m glad you started there because contrary to popular belief the weapons trade, on a small scale, share some similar attributes to trades that deal with designer goods.  By this, I mean that as was part and parcel if a company wanted to make a quick buck, they could simply paint on the S.I logo on the side of any weapon and make their enemy shit their pants in fear.  In the case of Sokovia, the weapon that killed your parents, it didn’t have anything to do Dr Stark. Instead, it was sold by one Obadiah Stane, a partner in Stark Industries, who among a great many illegalities, sold weapons under the table. But I’m not completely sure if he even sold Stark Industries stock was fired at your family apartment, which claimed the lives of your parents.  Do you want to know who Stane sold the weapon too?” Jyn started to explain, sounding as if she was about to start lecturing the woman.

 “You dirty, dirty liar, it is always Stark he is a disgusting excuse for a human being.  It wouldn’t surprise me in the slightest if the guy were to turn up dead suddenly.  It would ahh serve him right after all!” Designation: Scarlet Witch couldn’t possibly have looked even eviler if she had an evil moustache to twirl menacingly.

 “Right, you’ve hinted at that, but that’s not strictly true.  Would you be interested in finding out whose name was on the order requisition form for that weapon?  I dare say, you knew him quite well.  After all, you fought under his command for a great many years.  Do you want to know who you should have saved all your energy for?” Jyn lightly mocked the woman sitting across from her before continuing “It was one Wolfgang von Strucker.  I can see that name means something to you, for the record would you mind telling me exactly who or what that is.”

 “No, you’re lying, the man along with Doctor List was able to give us the powers to go after Stark.  Without him, we might not have gotten as far as we might have hoped. Why would he try to harm our country? What possible reason would he have for those missiles?” Designation: Scarlet Witch started to plead.

 Dacia looked at the woman with feeling revulsion beginning to crawl up her spine as she looked over at Designation: Scarlet Witch. She wondered why the woman continued to bleat on with the same thing over and over again.  Smirking as she wondered how much fun Jyn was likely to have to pull her misguided beliefs down around her ears.

 “I’d normally apologise, but I just don’t feel sorry.  Do you want to know why he bought those weapons?  Or at least some of the things we suspect about the man’s intentions because as you know, he is dead.  You had a hand in his death didn’t you?”

 “I suppose that you are going to tell me, so go on tell me what exactly I am missing.” Designation: Scarlet Witch tried to rally.

 “I’m going to go on a bit of a tangent here, don’t stop me if you have heard it already.  But Strucker wanted a political landscape in Sokovia that was easy for him and HYDRA to take advantage of, the government in place could have defied them, but as with most good things, it comes to an end.  Strucker, as I had mentioned earlier, want a softened government; they weren’t receptive to bribes, something that Strucker would have likely fallen back on.”

 “Oh but Colonel Strucker was a patriot, why would he do anything to harm Sokovia!  That doesn’t even make any sense.”

 “And yet the guy was HYDRA; he was fairly high up in the organisation, one of the heads.  He didn’t like the idea that he couldn’t mould the politics in the country to how he wanted it.  And why would he?  Wouldn’t make a very good little terrorist if he wasn’t trying to change things around in any case.  But that’s not where you come in, now is it?”

 “No, but he allowed my brother and I to take part in the experimentation we used to take down Stark and the Avengers.”

 “No, you silly woman, he didn’t pick you two for the experimentation because he liked you.  He picked you because the two you already seemed like you good soldiers for the HYDRA cause, so why not throw the two little pawns to the experimentation. After all, it wasn’t as if anyone was surviving it then what could it hurt him?  Don’t think too highly of yourself, nor of the man, you weren’t intended to survive.”

 “You know that isn’t true?  WE WERE EXPERIMENTED UPON TO LEAD HYDRA’s FORCES TO GREATNESS, WITH US AT THEIR HEAD, THEY COULD HAVE BEEN GREAT, AND THE WORLD WOULD HAVE BEEN A MUCH GREATER PLACE!”

 “Wow, that was a reach, does it hurt you stretching that far?  I hope you didn’t pull a muscle while making that frankly ridiculous assertion?”

 “It wasn’t a stretch, but I have seen the light, and if you knew what Stark had done, you wouldn’t be so quick to dismiss my words.  That guy is pure evil; I don’t even know why we are discussing it, it is as certain as the sun will rise in the East and set in the West.” Designation: Scarlet Witch tried to force out a laugh as she thought of the some of the more ludicrous things she felt like she had to set right.

 “Right, no I heard that I understand that you feel that way, I’m just struggling with some of the concepts that you are coming out with.  I am just trying to work out by which metric you are judging the supposed evilness of the guy.  It can’t possibly be about you, because sunshine, you joined a terrorist group, did it not possibly enter into your mind that was even a slightly questionable thing to do?  And I have heard the idea that one man’s terrorist is another man’s freedom fighter. But I cant work out how you thought that it was a good idea.  So let me in on some of your thinking here, because this is starting to confuse me.”

 “That guy got rich of the backs of other people.  He was born with a silver spoon in his mouth.  Thanks to his Daddy, he never had to work a day in his life.  Can you blame me for hating the guy?”

 “Well, I’m going to stop you there, I don’t like to be bored and you Miss are boring me.  Don’t take it personally it’s just that I get bored listening to someone continue to go round and round in the same idea.  As much as I can be held guilty of just such a thing, you understand that it bores me a little.” Jyn pretended to yawn.

 “Now, that wasn’t very nice all I’m trying to do is tell you where I’m coming from, the guy is evil personified.”

 “We will have to agree to disagree there. You see, Dr Stark yeah had inherited a multi-million dollar weapons, yeah, he struggled with the sudden responsibility for a few years.  But he also managed to take that company and diversify some of its interests, to the point where it became a multi-billion dollar, with a great many interests beyond simple weapons.  He was later kidnapped in Afghanistan, and that woke him up to the downfalls of his weapons company.  To cut a long story short, his company left the weapons trade behind, at what could be argued was a great personal cost to him.  But that’s something that I don’t see you becoming too interested in. Something tells me that you don’t see further than the end of your nose.  I’m right about that, aren’t I?  Right now I want to know exactly what you decided to ditch ULTRON and join with the Avengers. Please don’t give me the crocodile tears; I’m honestly not sure whether or not they would irritate me or inspire some form of rage in me.”

 “We had learned, I had seen that Ultron's ultimate plans meant the annihilation of everyone on earth, we couldn’t let that stand. So we joined up with Rogers and his merry band of thugs to protect this earth.  It wouldn’t be fair to any children growing up that they couldn’t know what life on this planet could be.” Designation: Scarlet Witch eyes’ started to well up as she began to think of some of the things that were likely going through her head.

 “Sweetcheeks I said to spare me the crocodile tears because they aren’t going to work on me.  But do you want to know what I think?  It should have been clear from the get-go that the robot wasn’t ready to wear daisy chains. Not in the very least.  So I think you realised that if you supported the robot, it would mean the end of your brother.  Your supposed heroic gesture was born out of nothing more than a desire to save your skin.  How am I doing so far?” Jyn asked, folding her hand together.

 “Sounds about right, but you are missing the best part of my plan.  Would you like me to tell you what exactly you missed?”

 “Yeah go for it, but if I could hazard a guess, I’m going to guess that you didn’t get in on the Avengers by simply fluttering your eyes.  Something tells me that you didn’t spread your legs either.  I am going to guess that you still have too much arrogance and that maybe you couldn’t see yourself as too precious to do that.  How am I doing so far?”

 “Close but no cigar, I only had to enter into Rogers' head and see how I could manipulate him.  He only wanted to see the best in everybody around him.  All my brother and I had to do, was to spin him a sob story about how we had seen the light and wanted to fight alongside the Avengers.  It made my spine crawl having even to say those things, let alone speak to him.   I still maintain that we did nothing wrong.” Designation: Scarlet Witch shrugged her shoulders as much as she could at least.

 “Okay, I can see why you might think that.  So tell me, did you perhaps keep any feelers in the team’s mind?  To continue to turn them against Dr Stark?”

 “Oh, that?  That was my finest piece of work; I didn’t have to do much more than nudge them in the right direction.  He turned them against him all on his own.”

 “Right but didn’t you already have fingers in their minds?  I’m going to guess that you planted something in their minds THEN, not that it would be too difficult for you to do.  So am I going in the right direction.”

 “I might have implanted thoughts then, not that it was difficult. He lost any respect that they had for him when he created ULTRON; it’s not my fault that the guy created a genocidal robot.  I didn’t do anything to him, nothing to make him think that such actions would go in the right direction for him.  How stupid can you be to think that creating a large robot was the right course to take?”

 “Oh, but don’t you know that when you attacked him when you planted the thoughts in his head of those horrible nightmares.  Is there any point to this or am I simply going round in circles? What part of it aren’t you understanding?”

 “That?  I was told to do that, and let me tell you how delicious it was to me, more than I even have the ability put into words.  The only way this could have been better was if I still had my brother at my side.  At least I didn’t have to put up with Stark too much.  Thank goodness for small mercies rights?  At least I didn’t need to have him there still taunting me after everything I had lost.”

 “Changing topic again, I want to ask what exactly made you leave the Compound. I mean, sure you were already in a lot of legal trouble with regards to your actions in Lagos, but that could have been dealt with.  No easily, I’ll give you that one.  Your VISA application was already in a bit of trouble.  Turns out that Rogers and the US Immigration Department, differ on some things.  Your previous membership to a terrorist organisation is one.  In fact, I bet you don’t know that it was only thanks to Dr Stark’s access to incredibly efficient lawyers that Stark keeps on retainer fo people like you.  As long as you did your part and kept yourself away from prying eyes, away from public notice, it could have all been fine,” Jyn gave a short laugh before continuing “so it was really thanks to his breathtaking guilt complex that you were able to work with the Avengers.  It was a lot of trouble just to get you onto a work VISA, but it didn’t seem as if you were going to get a green card.  Do you have anything to say for yourself here?”

 “Stark was locking me up, he had shoved me into that compound and told Vis to keep me locked up.  He was breaking my human rights; I did the right thing when I ran away!  I wouldn’t even piss on that man if he was on fire”

 “You say that, but I don’t think that you know what a real prison is like. Because I have been in a few in my time. The Compound?  That is like a 5 Star luxury resort; you had access to a private swimming pool, gym features, internet and constant access to cooks so that you could have three award-winning square meals a day.  If you wanted to cook, then that option was there for you. If that place were a prison, you wouldn’t even last two days.  I have been places where I have been locked up in damp and squalor just waiting for the day when I could feel warm again.  I have been locked up in places where the only thing I had left to myself was my body, the things I had to do to get by, would give you nightmares Princess.  So don’t even talk to me about prison.  Not when I don’t think you could understand what it is like.  Sunshine you better hope that man wakes up soon or you will be for a world of trouble and I don’t even think you completely understand.”

 “I don’t believe you, that place was not pleasant, and I will thank you to not discount my experience.” Designation: Scarlet Witch sniffed, sure that she was in the right.

 “You make me sick, up you get, I can’t even look at you anymore.”

 Jyn stood up from behind the tablet and began to cautiously stretch out her stiff limbs, while Dacia hauled the woman to her feet and locked her wrists together once again.  Rubbing her dry palms together, as she thought once again that she should probably once again start thinking of using hand cream.  It was beginning to become faintly ridiculous that her skin should always be dry.

 Making a sudden motion, she hurried to catch up with Dacia and Designation: Scarlet Witch.  Jyn cast her mind once again to some of the things that had come up during the interviews. Walking through the doors alongside the two women, Jyn wondered what Dacia had no doubt thought of the interview.

 Still, her questions would soon (hopefully) be answered.

 WHOOSH

 Walking with her head held high, Wanda thought not for the first time, whether or not she it was worth her time attempting to reign in her temper.  There was nothing to suggest to her that she would better try to hold it, nothing but the other Avengers.  She looked over at Clint’s cell and felt her lip beginning to curl; it was nothing but pointless to her, how could a monster like Stark ever betray them?

 Wanda knew of course that she hadn’t ever expected anything from the monster, so she couldn’t have expected the guy to continue to support them?  Not when she had already had her fingers in the guys head, and deliciously fractured she found the guy’s psyche.  Not that she wanted to be done with the guy, not yet, she still felt as if she had so much more damage to do to the guy.  She might have found it a bit of struggle to ensure that the guy was kept well under her heel.  The only thing that she could regret was that she hadn’t the time to do anything more to him, if Rogers had damaged the man too badly, it would simply irk her not having that play thing around anymore, if she didn’t have something to play with? Well, then Rogers might not like the thing that he had unleashed.

 It was such a simple thing for Rogers to deal with – sentimentality, it was a wonder that the guy had managed to wake up in the morning.  Sure, she might be locked up on this bizarre floating rust bucket, but she still had one going for her.  She was at least locked up in proximity to her hero.  The thing that had managed to instil so much fear in his enemies.  Rogers could bleat all he wanted about the guy not being guilty because he preferred to spin a tale about the guy who wasn’t in his right mind and Wanda found not caring too much about what had happened to the guy.

 Pietro would be so jealous, if he could only see who she was psychically close to.  Well, he might be a little frightened for his baby sister.  Pietro also laboured under the delusion that Wanda needed to be protected. Something which Wanda found so funny, not when Wanda was always willing and able to play the long game, there was nothing better to her than being able to sow her seeds and watch them bloom.  Pietro had been told the exact same stories as her, that the Winter Soldier would be the one to guide them back into a position of strength, with the man’s help they might be able to run this World again. Wanda may have only seen the HYDRA as a means to an end, an end which included the downfall of Stark.

 Never again would Wanda have to hold some assholes hand, because everything seemed to be coming up Wanda again.  If only she could work out why she could access her magic, then nothing would be able to hold her back.

 She would just have to wait and bid her time, because everything was going to turn in her favour soon.

#Exasperation is thy name #Darcy Lewis #Jyn Erso #Cassian Andor #Star Wars #Post Captain America : Civil War #Madam Secretary #fanfiction

[lyra-morton]

The Aftermath || Self Para

Lyra lay propped up on against some pillows as she watched her sister speak with the nurse, not really hearing what they were saying, but hoping she looked engaged nonetheless. It was day two in the hospital and she was more than ready to get out of the stuffy room and back into her on clothes and her own bed. After all, her injury didn’t need surgery, so they’d done all they could do. Why should she continue occupying a bed someone in more critical condition might need?

The doctor had said she was healing up well enough, the gouge in her leg was mostly superficial, though she had heard him whisper about potential muscle damage-time would tell- and rehab to her sister. She had yet to see the actual wound, electing to state out the window as the dressings were changed throughout the day. Sooner or later she’d have to watch, to learn how to care for it herself, but she couldn’t quite stomach the thought yet.

Maybe tomorrow…

A moment later, her attention was brought back to her sister, who had returned to her chair beside the bed. “She said that hopefully you can go tomorrow, but you need to learn how to wrap your leg properly.” Jyn paused, her brow furrowing, before she spoke again, “Lyra, are you sure you won’t stay with me? Even just for a few days. I just want to make sure you’re okay,”

Rolling her eyes, she shook her head, “You’ve already missed enough work on my account. And I’m not an invalid. I can take care of myself.”

Lyra loved her sister, really she did, but the last time she’d been in her care, she’d hovered over Lyra, barely giving her any room to breathe. Of course, that might have been more the fact that Lyra’s injury had been caused by her- though she’d assured her sister is wasn’t her fault- but she didn’t want to take that chance. They were close, but had always been independent, and she wasn’t about to give up her independence again.

“Really, I’ll be okay. If you’re worried, you can always bring me a piece of cake twice a day. I’m sure that will help heal me right up.” She smiled as she joked, but a cold feeling settled over her as she spoke, and she knew immediately that Jyn had picked up on it.

“Lyra-“

Shaking her head, Lyra turned away to stare out the window. “I’m a little tired. Could we talk about this later. Please?”

She heard a heavy sigh behind her, followed by the scraping of a chair and the rustling of fabric. Lyra new she wasn’t being fair, but she didn’t want to talk about it anymore. She wasn’t ready.

This all happened to her because she stayed for some more cake. Well, most of her knew that it ran deeper than that- her curiosity had gotten her into all kinds of troubler before, though nothing as serious as this- but it was easier to attribute the situation to something a little more tangible and the thought alone made her want to swear off the delicious treat forever.

“Alright. I’ll go and get some lunch from the cafe and I’ll call Mom and Dad. You just rest up, okay?” Jyn didn’t expect a response, nor did she receive one. With another sigh, she turned and left the room, closing the door quietly behind her.

Lyra, for her part, felt a slight pang of guilt, but it was quickly overshadowed by al the questions swimming around in her head. Despite the large quantity of alcohol she consumed, she remembered the whole evening in stunning high definition- the blood, the screams, the werewolves. She closed her eyes as she recalled the sounds of shattered glass and the terror etched into the faces of those who were not as lucky as she.

She had read plenty about werewolves before and knew they lived in Wallcord- peacefully enough, considering there weren’t a whole lot of wolf attacks reported too frequently- but she’d never seen that many, nor one up close. Nor had she ever been chased down and injured by one. A small, dark part of her wanted to find the nearest slayer and convince them that all werewolves must be evil, but she knew that was just dead talking. The larger, more logical part of her reminded her that- just like humans- supernatural beings were both good and evil.

Shuddering, she thought back to Davenport, his red eyes and the emptiness behind them. She hadn’t figured out how, but she was sure he was involved. While she was no stranger to the supernatural, there was definitely something unnatural about him. Based on her research, he gave every indication to being a Witch, but clearly a dark one. The only other witch she knew besides her sister was Kaia, and she couldn’t reconcile the idea of either of them ever committing the kind of atrocities Davenport had influenced.

She had read his statement in the paper, claiming surprise and sorrow for the horrible and tragic accident that occurred in his estate and she scowled, tossing the paper away. Her sister had been surprised at the outburst, but said nothing as she picked up the paper and dumped it in the barrel. Several times, Lyra considered telling her what really happened, beyond the ‘I don’t really remember, it all happened so fast’ line she was feeding the doctors, but something held her back. Not distrust, but rather fear. There was something in the way he looked at her that told her she wasn’t out of the woods yet, and the last thing she wanted to do was to put her sister in danger.

Full of questions, and answers that only creates more questions, Lyra pushed the thoughts of the attack out of her mind for now. With no resources and the inability to leave her bed, thinking about the situation would only serve to continue to frustrate her. Instead, she turned her mind to the more positive. Kind of positive, anyway, since the thought alone had her heart racing, but for an entirely different reason than before.

She had a date.

Of all the things she expected from a drunk text, as date was probably the last on the list. Least of all with the girl who had been the queen bee of high school. The girl who had never glanced twice at her, who stood by as her friends mocked “that weird, nerdy girl who is always reading about vampires and werewolves”. It was almost surreal and if you had told her literally the day before that she’d be going on a date with Cecelia Blair, well, you’d probably be laughed out of the bookstore by both parties.

Yet, something had shifted that night.

Obviously, she was beautiful- Lyra would have to be blind not to notice- but their drunken texts had opened a door she didn’t realize was even in the room. As ridiculous as most of the conversation had been, it was real, and that was something Lyra didn’t realize she wanted. Well, maybe she did, but she never thought that it would happen while she drunk texted a girl who barely noticed her, who she barely ever spoke to. It was almost like something out of one of those stupid romance novels she kept stashed under her bed.

The Queen Bee and The Nerd.

Now that she was sober, the nervousness about the whole thing came back full force. What if she messed it up? What if she was weird and awkward- well that was a given- and Cecelia decided she never wanted to see her again? Lyra let out a disbelieving laugh. It wasn’t normally her style to worry about the opinions of others- people had been judging her all of her life, after all- but for whatever reason, she felt a pull to the other girl, one she’d never noticed, but suddenly realized had been there all along. It was a harrowing notion, really. Lyra has spent her entire life knowing who she was and what she wanted, and now this came out her out of the left field.

Glancing at her phone, she forced herself to pull up Cecelia’s contact information. Would she even want to talk to her after receiving for word for nearly three days? Her phone had spent the first day dead, and it was only after she woke earlier that day that she was able to ask her sister to bring a charger, but still. Lyra doubted that the other girl had ever been stood up before, intentionally or otherwise. That thought in and of itself was incredibly daunting and Lyra tried to force down the overwhelming feeling of dread as she typed out a single line of text.

Can you meet me outside the hospital tomorrow afternoon?

#instead of working on replies i wrote a self para #i just felt like there were a lot of loose ends #e: 001 #self para

[ohmytheon]

Rebelcaptian. Jyn and cassian using each other for sex, saying it's stress relief but really wanting it. Nice blog by the way!!!

(This, uh, got way longer than I expected. Originally it was supposed to be a Modern AU, but I’ve seen this done in that before. I’m okay with how it turned out, but let’s face it. This is some basic ass smut.)

In retrospect, this whole mess had probably been born from an exhausted, poor excuse of a joke.

Not that Cassian was known for his comedic skills, but every now and then he would say something that caught everyone off guard. The only problem was that he said those things with such a straight face that it was hard to tell if he was actually joking or not. It wasn’t like sarcasm. No, he couldn’t be obvious about even that. He would just say something that made people stop, but would keep going on about his business like it was nothing.

It was very frustrating.

On this particular evening, the beginning of it all, Jyn had found him hunkered in his quarters. He’d been gone for on a solo mission with just Kay for two weeks and had had the audacity to not see her when he came back. She wasn’t truly mad at him, not really, but she had missed him quite a bit. From what she’d gathered, Draven had dragged him into a long debriefing the second he touched foot on base and had shuffled off to his quarters soon after.

She didn’t bother knocking to be let in, not when she knew his code. When she peered inside, Cassian was sitting at his desk, reading something on his holopad and wiping tiredly at his eyes. Without even bothering to look back to see who it was, he greeted, “Isn’t it late, Jyn?”

A part of her wanted to question how he knew it was her – it could’ve been K-2, seeing as how the robot had no sense of personal space – but she knew better than to ask. She’d probably given herself away by the way she stepped or how she breathed or maybe her smell. Who knew. She slipped inside all the way, the door shutting behind her, and crawled onto his bed so that she could sit on it with her back against the wall and look at him.

“How was the mission?” Jyn asked breezily, though it was honestly the last thing that she wanted to talk about. She didn’t know what she did want to talk about; all she knew was that she wanted it to be with him and she didn’t want to go to bed just yet.

“Long, boring, inconclusive.” Cassian made a grumbling sound. “Politics involve so much listening and note-taking. They can talk for hours about nothing before saying anything useful.”

“Not the exciting spy life you’re used to?”

“Maybe I just hate politicians.”

“Careful.” Jyn grinned. “Don’t let Mothma or the Princess hear you say that.”

Cassian gave her a sideways look before returning back to his notes. Despite being obviously worn down, he’d probably stay up until the sun came up going through his reports, trying to pick them apart for something they could go on. It wasn’t healthy, but then, neither of them were keen on healthy coping techniques.

However, when it became obvious that he wasn’t planning on saying anything else, she moved to the edge of the bed and began to nudge on the back of his chair. He really should get some rest. It’d be better for him and his work if he did, but the man was absolutely stubborn. If she could distract him long enough, maybe he would give up and finally go to sleep. He’d be grateful for the fresh eyes in the morning, even if he was irritated with her.

“Jyn,” he bit out through gritted teeth, trying to keep his resolve.

“You’re ignoring me,” Jyn practically whined, knowing that it would get on his nerves. If his mind was off the reports for long enough, he’d give up on trying to go back to them. Then he could rest. She could tell him that outright and keep him from getting grumpy with her, but then she might have to cop to other things. It was easier to just pester him.

And then, without warning, Cassian fixed her with a flat look and said in an equally flat tone, “Blow me,” before he returned to his notes.

Jyn stilled immediately and stared at him. To all the world, it looked like he had given no extra thought to what he’d just said and was back in work mode, but she felt as if her own, little world had been rocked. She had never once in her time knowing him heard him say such a thing. Cassian was not the type of person to make crass jokes or comments. The closest he ever came to it was when he was on a mission and his cover required it, but he always looked uncomfortable with that kind of behavior after the fact.

As himself though? As Cassian Andor? Definitely not. He was tired and moody and couldn’t think straight and it was very likely a joke.

But then Jyn found herself saying, “Okay.”

At first, it didn’t seem to register with Cassian, as he kept on reading, but then, a few seconds later, it hit him and he turned around fully to face her, a frown on his face and his brow furrowed. “What?”

“I said okay,” Jyn told him.

He pinched the bridge of his nose. “I know what you said. I just–” His words died off very suddenly she slid off the edge of the bed and settled down in front of him. The ground wasn’t that comfortable, due to the icy temperatures of Hoth, but it could’ve been worse. He nearly jumped out of his chair when she touched his thighs. “What are you doing?”

Jyn looked up at him. “Blowing you.”

Cassian made a choking sound. “Jyn, you don’t have to–” But then she was undoing his pants and really it was kind of funny seeing him squirm like this, both trying to edge away from her and…not at the same time. He could’ve easily gotten away from her and yet he wasn’t making that much of an attempt. Maybe he was too tired. Or maybe… “I was– Jyn, I didn’t mean– Kriff–”

So maybe there was supposed to be steps in between whatever they were. They had kissed a handful of times, always under the influence of some sort of alcohol and the strange force that was always pushing them together, but they had never talked about anything more. In fact, they actively avoided talking about it, like neither one of them knew what to say or do. Emotions and things like that were all new territory that they weren’t sure how to explore.

This was simple though. This, Jyn could understand. Sure, other things usually happened in between kissing and oral sex, but she didn’t want to think about those either, especially not with the noises that Cassian was making.

He kept his hands off of her, gripping the arms of his chair tightly, something that she was relieved for. She’d always hated it when a guy reached to put a hand on her head or grab her hair, like they could guide her. No, she was in charge and she would set the pace or they would regret it. He shut his eyes closed and one hand moved over his mouth, like he was shocked and trying to stay as quiet as possible. She could also tell that he was trying to stay still, but his hips jerked every now and then.

For whatever reason, it did not take him long to get off. In fact, it was a hell of a lot quicker than she expected. He managed to stammer out the words, “Ah, Jyn, I–” warning her and she pulled away at the last second. He quickly replaced her mouth with his hand, covering himself so that the mess went almost entirely on him. His whole body twitched and his eyes were still closed, but he was panting heavily and sweat was covering his brow despite the chill.

He pulled himself together, though his movements were very languid. He was entirely spent now. She handed him a dirty shirt so that he could clean himself off and then pushed herself up so that she could sit back on his bed. Once he tossed the shirt aside, he slumped in his chair and finally met her eyes. His cheeks were redder than normal. For once, she couldn’t read him, but not because he was closed off; to be honest, he seemed confused about how he felt as well.

“Feel better?” Jyn asked.

A strangled laugh slipped out of Cassian and he leaned forward, propping his elbows on his knees, hiding half his face with his hands. “Why?”

Jyn shrugged her shoulders. “You needed it. You’re stressed out and working yourself to the bone. Do you feel better?”

“There’s no way I’m going to be able to focus on my notes,” Cassian said. It wasn’t a direct answer, but it was what she wanted to hear regardless. However, he was focused on her way too much. It was beginning to make her squirm now. She couldn’t tell what he was thinking and realized that she didn’t know what she wanted him to think.

Kriff, she’d given a man who was basically her closest friend a blow job.

“That was the point,” Jyn quipped as she stood up and walked to the door. “Get some rest, will you?”

She was out the door before he could even respond. Despite not being tired in the slightest, she had the suddenly very intense desire to hide in her room.

*

Three weeks later, with the incident put of her mind, Jyn found herself doing the most inane task of inventory. It was her own fault. She’d disobeyed orders on a Pathfinders mission. It had been to save a child, but it had nearly gotten their cover blown. Solo had been pissed; Jyn had argued with him; and she found herself grounded doing the dumbest things. A child could do this job, but no, here she was, five hours deep into this crap and with no end in sight.

Did the Rebellion enjoy carrying all this junk around with them? She swore that some of these things had not been used in twenty years.

Footsteps behind her caused her to turn around, but she could only scowl when she saw that it was Cassian. He wore an easy, almost amused look on his face. No doubt he was getting a kick out of this. For once, she was in trouble for something that she’d done. She wouldn’t change her decision in the slightest, even knowing the torment that she was suffering through now, but she did not like that look on his face.

“I heard what happened,” Cassian said.

Jyn waved a hand and a holopad around. “Come to mock me in my misery or join me in hell?”

“I think I’ve followed you into hell enough times to stay out of this one,” Cassian responded with a laugh. Oh, he was in a good mood. His last mission had been very brief and gone well. No annoying politicians to deal with this time and no one to kill, just the way he liked it. She couldn’t be mad at him for that, but she could be mad at him teasing her. It wasn’t fair. “How far along are you?”

“This is going to take days,” Jyn groaned, dropping the holopad on a crate. “I can already feel the migraine building. I’ll be useless in thirty minutes.”

There was a brief lull in the conversation where Jyn glared at the crates surrounding her and Cassian looked at her. She was about to pick up the pad and get back to work, maybe convince him to bring her something from the mess hall, when he suddenly said, “I know something that can help with that.”

“Help with what?” Jyn turned to eye him. “Death by boredom?”

“The migraine.”

Jyn snorted. “You have some Corellian gin stashed in your jacket?”

What she was not expecting was Cassian to step closer to her so that he was in her personal space. She could smell the hint of their standard-issued soap and shampoo on him, as if he’d recently been in the refresher, but also a hint of smoke from a blaster, like he’d been at the range. He was close enough so that she had to tilt her head up to look him in the face. The amused look was gone, replaced by his unreadable mask that she was both familiar with and still struggled to make sense of.

However, when his hands fell to her hips, she took a sharp intake of breath and stared him in the eyes. They looked darker than normal. He pushed on her, gently, until her back was pressed against a wall of crates. Slowly, his hands slid down and he did as well until he was down on his knees. Her hands felt awkward and her entire body tense as he made work of undoing her pants. She felt like she couldn’t breathe as he slid them down and then ran his hands up the bare skin of her legs. When his lips pressed against the inside of her thigh, she shivered involuntarily.

She knew that she should say something – that she should move – that she should ask him what he was doing. But instead, she found herself gasping for breath as he dragged her underwear down. Just when she resolved to say something, even if it was just his name, his mouth was on her and all thought went out the window.

Honestly, she’d never had someone go down on her before. Not that she hadn’t wanted it, but she hadn’t trusted anyone enough and no one ever offered. It was such a selfless offer. The few times she’d gone down on a guy, it had been to get things over with quickly without having to offer much of herself. Except for that night with Cassian. That had been all about him. She’d tried to force it out of her mind, but thought about it now.

Until he hit just right spot and sent her reeling again. One of her hands drifted to his head, her fingers sliding through his hair, while the other tried to find some sort of purchase to hold onto to keep herself standing. Without even considering that someone might hear her, moans slipped out of her as he worked his mouth against her. It was like his tongue was drawing everything out of her. Unlike him, she didn’t try to keep her hips from moving and he seemed to encourage it, groaning against her so hard that she could feel it.

When he began to pump a finger inside of her, crooking it at the perfect angle, she jerked and let out a cry. The orgasm hit her so suddenly that she nearly toppled over, but he kept her up with a tight grip on her legs. Sounds that she couldn’t control, actual whimpers, came from her that she’d never even heard before as she rode out the orgasm practically against his face. It didn’t seem to bother him in the slightest. It lasted longer than she expected, but he kept at it until she was twitching every now and then and did not not stop until she took a shuddering breath and sagged against the wall.

Jyn didn’t think she could stand for much longer, much less do anything else, and felt both absurdly grateful and embarrassed as Cassian pulled up her underwear and pants for her. He’d had to do all the work himself when she had gone down on him. However, she could only breathe heavily as he did her pants again and took a step back from her.

“How’s the migraine?” Cassian asked, as if he had not just given her one of the best orgasms of her life.

She opened her eyes up to look at him blearily. “Forget the thirty minutes. I’m useless now.”

“But you’re no longer stressing out,” Cassian replied, a faint grin on his face. He’d cleaned himself off while her eyes were still closed. In fact, if she wasn’t still reeling from him going down on her, she wouldn’t have even been able to tell what he’d done from just looking at him.

“No,” Jyn sighed, “I’m not. I’m not even thinking about this stuff.”

Cassian nodded his head, looking as if he’d accomplished a minor goal on a mission, and then turned to leave her in the inventory room. When he was out of sight, she collapsed onto the nearest low crate and fell back against the wall. Her legs still felt like jelly and her center was still pulsing in fits. No, she wasn’t stressed out anymore. But she definitely wanted more. She just didn’t know what she wanted more of.

#rebelcaptain #jyn erso #cassian andor #rogue one #star wars #smut #cassian x jyn #jyn x cassian #rebelcaptain fic #rogue one fanfiction #this was pretty fun to write #the things of songs

[k-lara7]

The Bodyguard, chapter 5

Frantically, Jyn looked over at Cassian. Not wanting to wake him, she stepped out of the room. Wicket jogged around her legs to jump on Cassian’s bed. He instantly curled up next to the man. Shaking her head at her cat, Jyn closed the door. The voice on the other end of the phone snapped, “Answer me.” Jyn calmly answered, “My name is Jyn Erso, Your Highness.” What was the proper title for a diplomat? “Jyn Erso? You’re the tramp my brother is dating? Where is he? I want to talk to him, right now!” “He’s asleep, and I am not disturbing him. You can call back later and talk to him as long as you promise not to upset him. Cassian has been very ill,” she returned sharply. “Just who in the Hell do you think you are to tell me what to do? You put him on the phone, right now.” “I’m sorry Your Highness, but no one, not even God Himself, is waking Cassian. He needs his rest.” “How dare you? You put him on the phone right now. Do you have any idea who you are messing with? “Yes, ma’am. I know who you are. But the last time I checked, present fiance trumps absent sister.” “Is that your final answer?” the woman shot back. “Yes, it is,” Jyn replied, succinctly. “Good. We are going to get along just fine, Jyn,” Leia laughed. “Excuse me?”she asked, confused. “I know who you are, Jyn. And I know the truth about what you are doing there. Kay has been keeping me updated regularly. He knows that I would rip his arms off if he didn’t keep me in the loop. I’m sorry we have put you in this situation. I understand you prefer to meet all conflicts head-on and honestly. “I do agree with Kay on this though. If Cassian understood the true threat to his life, he would push all of us away to protect us from being collateral damage. He would also try to use himself as bait to draw the threat out.” Jyn didn’t want to argue with Cassian’s sister, but the man she described was quite different from the man in the tabloids. Leia continued, “For now, I need you to continue the pretense. No matter how dishonest you feel, you need to keep pretending to be his fiance. There is a lot more going on than even I know about right now. I have all my resources dedicated to finding this assassin and stopping him. At this point, I am sure that I know who wants my brother dead, and why. Whatever resources you need, ask. I will get them for you. Any expenses you have, Kay will take care of them. There are going to be a lot of public events. I am sending my personal assistant to help you prepare for those. He’ll help you with the necessary wardrobe. His name is Cedric Threepio. You’ll meet with him tomorrow.” Jyn’s mind was trying to process all this information. Cassian’s overprotective younger sister wanted her to keep lying to her brother to protect him. Damn. She had been half hoping Leia would force the truth to be told. And now she was going to have to dress the part of a celebrity’s girlfriend. Bye-bye combat boots. They better not try to force her into heels. Leia continued, “I have left a package with my secretary, Winter, at my office. It’s all the notes on the investigation I have so far. I think you should know just what is going on. Please, don’t tell my brother. He’ll probably blame himself and try to isolate himself to protect those he loves. It wouldn’t be the first time. And I know it goes against everything you believe, but you need to pretend to be a damsel-in-distress. Cassian will take foolish risks when it’s only his life on the line. If he thinks you're in danger too, he will be more careful.” Jyn stopped her for a moment. “I can’t do this alone. I’m going to need help.” “Who did you have in mind?” “My friend, Bodhi. I can trust him and he is trained for this, former military.” “Cassian’s going to need someone to drive him around. I’ll bring him on as his driver. Anyone else?” “Chirrut and Baze, my employers, would be a great resource. They already have access to the studio as stunt choreographers. Cassian may even know them.” “Kay has told me about them. That should be easy. Their cover is that they got you the job on the celebrity cruise where you met Cassian.” “That works,” Jyn agreed. “Bring Bodhi on today. He can stay with Cassian while you go pick up that package and read it. The faster you are in the loop, the better,” she ordered. “Yes, Your Highness.” “Knock that off. That’s not even the correct title. And my name is Leia. When Cassian wakes up, tell him you talked to me and I gave you Hell over the prenup.” “Prenup?” “Cassian is sure that I would be a dragon to any woman he was really serious about. He’d expect me to demand to know your intentions toward him and be out to protect his financial assets. He hates that discussion so it should get him to take your side over mine. “And, Jyn, thank you. I know the only reason Cassian called me is because you told him too. The stupid man wouldn’t want to worry me.” As soon as Jyn got off the phone with Leia, she called Bodhi, “Drop everything and get over here, now.” An hour later, Cassian awoke to voices in his livingroom. As he started to get out of bed he felt tiny claws dig into his leg. Looking down, he found Jyn’s cat laying over his leg. Carefully he pushed the animal aside and stood. He pushed through the wave of dizziness that washed over him. Jyn was sitting on the couch sideways, talking to a man he remembered meeting at the hospital. He couldn’t remember who he was though. She looked up at his entrance. Rushing over to him, she made sure he was stable and escorted him to the couch. As she seated him, she said, “Cassian, I’m not sure if you remember Bodhi. He came by the hospital with me.” “I remember a little, not much.” Bodhi smiled a little nervously. “That’s ok. I don’t think we said anything important.” “I have to go run a couple errands. Bodhi’s going to stay with you while I’m gone,” she said. “I don’t need anyone to stay with me,” Cassian said, frustrated because he probably did need someone to help him. “Well, it’s either Bodhi or Kay. And you need to call your sister back. She wasn’t in a good mood when I talked to her.” “When did you talk to her?” “She called back right after you fell asleep. She’s not happy with you. You should have called her.” “Is that it?” “No. Apparently you need to get your little sister’s approval of anyone you date. She doesn’t like me and told me to sign the prenup.” “What prenup?” he asked confused. “The one her team set up, I guess. And I get to meet with some assistant of hers and learn how to dress so I don’t embarrass you in the tabloids anymore,” Jyn said with a smirk. Sighing, Cassian closed his eyes. “I’m sorry. My sister is overprotective of me. It’s rather embarrassing since I’m six years older than she is. She just likes to boss everyone around.” “She must be very good at it if she is a diplomat.” “Oh, she’s the best. And she used to get me into so much trouble.” “I can’t wait to hear all about it, just as soon as I get back.” She leaned over to kiss his cheek and hit his lips when he turned his head. He put his arm around her and deepened the kiss. It took Bodhi clearing his throat to separate them. Jyn bit her lip nervously as she looked into Cassian’s searching eyes. “Later,” she promised, escaping out the door. As silence descended, Cassian felt like the light had just gone out of the room. Bodhi stuttered into the quiet, “Are you hungry? Dinner arrived a few moments ago.” Absently, Cassian nodded. It had just occurred to him, all of the rooms in his house had a touch of her in them, except his bedroom. He didn’t know what to make of that. *** Jyn rushed into the office of Organa Enterprises. The receptionist looked up at her entry and immediately called upstairs. As she hung up the phone, she directed Jyn to the top floor. “Go right up, Ms. Winter is expecting you.” Within moments she was being shown into a large open space in one of the tallest buildings in the city. A gorgeous young woman with stark white hair greeted her. “Please have a seat. Let me get the packet Leia sent for you. If you have any questions about the information, I will try to answer them.” She walked over to a bookshelf and grabbed a banker’s box. Bringing it over to the center of the room, she placed it next to her coffee table. It took just a few moments to spread out the documents on the table. Winter handed her two cellphones. “Leia wanted you to have all the necessary contacts. She figured it would be easier to upload them herself than to give them to you. One is for you, the other is for Mr. Rook.” “What’s all of this,” Jyn gestured at the mess in front of her. “This is all the research that the ambassador has done on a child slavery ring. Its very personal to her. And she thinks her research, and perhaps Cassian’s past is what motivates the person trying to kill him.” “And what do you think?” Jyn asked. “I think they are both at risk. Leia just has better guards. Until the threats started, no one realized Cassian might be in danger.” When Jyn tried to ask another question, Winter stopped her. “Read the file. If you have any questions at that point, then I will answer them. I’ll leave you alone for now. Just call me if you need anything.” Jyn nodded as she picked up the first article. It was about a car accident involving a young woman named Padme Amidala and her two children, twins. The mother died at the scene, the boy, age 2, survived and was sent to live with a paternal uncle. The girl had disappeared before emergency services were on scene. The next article was translated from a Mexican newspaper. It detailed the career of an up and coming child actor, Cassian Andor who was, tragically an orphan. His father had died before he was born, no details were given. His mother had died in a single car accident on her way to pick him up from daycare. He had just finished his second picture. The article noted that his mother had turned down several lucrative offers and planned to halt her son’s career to give him a normal childhood. After her death, Imperial Orphanage, headed by Director Orson Krennic, gained custody of the boy. From that moment on his career flourished. He was signed to a long term contract on Jedha City and several small, questionable movie parts that paid well. The article was ambiguous about where the money went. Setting that article aside, Jyn found the next one was also translated into English. This one detailed the rescue of a young girl found wondering alone on the streets, identified as Leia, by an eight year old Cassian Andor. The two children spent several months together becoming inseparable. Their story caught the attention of Bail and Breha Organa who decided to adopt them. Under the news articles were copies of legal documents. Leia, age 4, was formally adopted by the Organas. Physical custody of Cassian, age 10, was given to the Organas with the stipulation that his acting contracts had to be honored. There were more contracts detailing the disposition of the boy’s salary. Apparently he made Imperial Orphanage a lot of money and Krennic tried to set himself up as Cassian’s financial guardian. Bail was able to get the courts to agree to put all of the child’s money in a trust fund and seal it away until his 30th birthday. If the boy died before that date, the orphanage, and Director Krennic, would inherit the fortune. As a result, Bail Organa had set Cassian up with a significant trust from his own fortune as well as the penthouse he currently lived in. Leia was named executor in his absence to protect Cassian. Below these documents were more news articles. One detailed the fiery crash that killed Breha and Bail. Those events were listed as suspicious and unsolved. Jyn noted that was three car accidents. It seemed a little too coincidental. Leia must have made the connection since her research went further. There were other children from the orphanage who had become child stars and died before their 18th birthday. All of their fortunes reverted to the director. It was a lot of information to take in. If Leia was right, Krennic wanted Cassian dead to steal his fortune. That was not going to happen on her watch. http://archiveofourown.org/works/11237331

#rebelcaptain #celebrity au #rebelcaptainnetwork

[jynsongxvii-blog]

                                   ┌──────── ∘°❉°∘ ────────┐

                                                        The Plan

                                   └──────── °∘❉∘° ────────┘

She hummed to herself, unaware of who would listen. Unaware of what the action would bring upon her life. Unaware of the guy casually sitting at the piano in the old music shop.

She hummed. He listened.

She created a melody. He memorized it.

She arranged the notes. He made them music.

With nothing more he started playing and the song echoed around the confined space.

The girl got startled since she’d thought there was no one else in the shop except for her. Still he continued playing each note with precision. She slowly made her way through the room searching for the mystery pianist, a smile spreading across her face as she joined in with her voice again. The mystery boy smiled too as he heard her beautiful voice again.

Some would have called it fate, others a coincidence. They just called it life playing a practical joke.

“I can’t ask you to do that, Becca” He mumbled, staring down at the grass. She gave him a sad look.

“I want to do it.”

“I’m not about to let you sacrifice everything you love and all you know just for me. You have a life, a good life. Both a good caste and the right caste.”

“I could live as a Five no problem.”

“That would be the right caste, not the good one. As a Two you have both. I won’t take that away from you… It’s ridiculous! You shouldn’t have to be turned into a lower caste for marrying a lower caste! Your future shouldn’t be tied to the guy you marry. You should be your own person.”

She cupped his cheek and offered a sad smile. “I know, and I love you for knowing it… but I’m ok with leaving it behind.”

He leaned to kiss her forehead, “I’m not. You deserve the life you have, I don’t want to take it away.”

“But I want to marry you, Ri.”

He looked at her eyes, his own filled with longing. “I want to marry you too.”

“Then we’ll have to figure something out.” She whispered, caressing his cheek. “We’ll make a plan.”

Always so stubborn, he thought with a sigh, but for once he wanted to be stubborn with her. “I guess we will.”

"Do you trust the plan?" She asked.

He hesitated because he didn't... Just like he didn't trust much else, but he trusted her, and if she believed in the plan, he would believe in it too.

“I’m going with Marissa on a trip to Europe.”

That had been the cover-up

In reality, Marissa paid for her own things and what had been paid for her by Becca’s family was given to Ri. In the little villa in Tuscany in which they got married Illéan law didn’t apply, castes meant nothing. Becca would stay a Two the same way Ri would stay a Five, and it didn’t matter if they weren’t residents of Italy. Becca had done research for long hours, used as much contacts as she could muster, all to figure out the information she needed.

There they could get married officially, by law, and nothing would change regarding their castes. It could be kind of stupid to the eyes of someone else. They couldn’t really tell people they were married, they still had to meet in secret, and even if her caste didn’t change by marrying him, her father would forever resent her if he found out... yet it was was important to them. They were married. After years of secretly dating they were finally married.

“You can still back down, you know?” He smirked at her, admiring her simple but beautiful white gown.

She rolled her eyes and looked back down at the paper on the desk, writing her signature in black ink. “Do you trust the plan?”

He stared down at the paper with both their signatures and pulled her into a kiss. She laughed mid-kiss and pulled him closer. That laugh. He hoped he would make her laugh like that all his life.

“I do.”

                                           ↬  20 years later  ↫

Jyn threw a pebble at Jason’s window and headed for her bathroom. Cassian, immediately ran behind her from his own little bed, his furry neck covered by an unnecessary scarf Jyn loved to see him wear.

Morning routine was usually the same. Throw a pebble, let Cassian climb on her shoulder, personal hygiene, throw another pebble if Jason doesn’t wake up, yell good morning at dad, go down for lunch after getting dressed. Everything after that could vary, but Jyn liked her morning routine. She liked that the beginning of her day was just established. That morning would be different however.

She threw the second pebble at Jason’s window and still no one replied. Odd. She gave Cassian a look as he stood curiously on her shoulder, sniffing the air. “Maybe he did a night shift?”

She did that a lot. Talk to the ferret. She didn’t really worry about how weird it was, she just liked letting her thoughts into the air. To her talking to the ferret was somehow better than talking to nothing or herself.

Cassian placed his front paws on her head and kept sniffing, Jyn frowned. She was about to take another pebble from her jar to throw at her neighbor’s window when her door slammed open. “TIME FOR AN INTERVENTION!” Jason barged into the room followed by Johnny and Clem. Jyn wasn’t sure if she should be surprised or not.

Jason was her childhood friend, the fellow Five she’d met trying to learn how to play soccer with her dad. The white-black ball had hit him right in the face and they had been friends ever since. Johnny was a Four, he’d befriended Jyn initially, much to Jason’s dismay: How dare he steal his best friend? But eventually they all became friends and turned into the deadly Js, always causing trouble wherever they’d go according to the adults, but no one could deny they loved having the little kids around back in the days.

Clem was the newest of the group, with only a year of knowing them all. She was a Three with ‘a future ahead of her’ according to her parents. They didn’t precisely approve of her hanging out with Jyn or the other guys, but they made it work. Sometimes they even helped her sneak out to join them.

“I don’t need an intervention...” Jyn grumbled as her friends invaded her room.

“Yes you do.” Jason crossed his arms over his chest, taking the same stance as hers, both glaring at each other. Meanwhile, Clem plopped on the bed and Johnny turned around the desk’s chair to join the circle that would soon be formed.

“How did you get in here?”

“Mr. Ri let us in.” Johnny replied, sitting with the backrest of the chair turned in front of him.

Of course dad let them in. Revenge for not cleaning the dishes last night. “Why do I need an intervention?”

“Because I know you’re as stubborn as it gets. I wanted to save time. This way if you decline my suggestion I have Johnny and Clem to back me up.”

“And your suggestion is...”

“You should apply for the Selection.”

Jyn blinked and burst out laughing. Jason narrowed his eyes at her. “It’s not a joke!”

“It’s still very funny.”

“I told you the intervention would be needed!”

“You’re an idiot.” She smirked and he scowled.

“I have legit reasons too-”

She scratched Cassian’s neck with an eye roll. “I already submitted my application.”

Jason stopped mid sentence and frowned, sparing Johnny a glance to see if he’d heard her right. His friend shrugged back and he looked back at Jyn “You applied?”

“Yep.”

“But- I thought- You never-”

“I talked with dad. If I do this and actually get Selected I get to become a Three— which makes becoming a Two a lot easier— I get to go to Angeles, I meet the royal family, I see the palace, I meet people from all over the country and I possibly meet a new guy that could or could not be a good date. Why wouldn’t I apply?”

Jason stared at her dumbfounded. Jyn could only smirk while Clem laughed, “Can’t argue with that logic.” 

“I thought you’d be harder to convince.”

“Even if we take everything else out of the list I get to be a Three, Jason. That would mean two steps closer to being a recognized singer and being able to give myself a nice life. Help dad out. Being one step away is a lot better than being three steps away.”

“That was reason number 2 in our list.” He grumbled, dissatisfied with not being able to do one of their famous interventions.

“What was number one?”

This time Johnny answered with a grin. “The food.”

A/N: CONGRATS! You have read my whole fic and hopefully it didn’t suck :) please forgive typos it is super late and tests where being ugh and also lack of inspiration, but...well, here it is. Enjoy.(sorry if it’s confusing??)

#selectionocnet #selectionoc #jyn #jason #clem #johnny #jyn's parents #my fic

[darnloveablecharacters]

Far From Home, Part Nineteen: Blaze of Glory

Series Summary: Reader is torn from her reality and dumped into the middle of a war. Will she make it home? Or will she find where she belongs? A Rogue One Reader Insert Fanfiction. Gifs and recognizable characters are not mine, but the story and all of the mistakes are!

Far From Home - Masterlist

Chapter Notes: I really don’t have much to say about this part... only a request that you don’t hate me too much :-| Last chapter will be up tomorrow! Weird....

Warnings for this chapter: major character death, nightmares (mentioned)

A year has passed since Rhayna’s death. I wish I could say that it was easy to move on after talking to her, but there were still nights where I would wake up screaming and drenched in sweat. It wasn’t just me though, Cassian got them too. So, we traded off, comforting each other until the nightmares faded into memory.

To my dismay, Cassian and I eventually were forced into taking separate missions again. Tension had risen higher than ever between the Empire and the Alliance, and we felt that we were running out of time. There had been no word from Tivik since he made a move to join Saw’s faction, we didn’t even know if he was still alive. Which brought us back to square one.

There was only one thing I could think of, and it involved under-cover work on an imperial destroyer.

“This is a terrible plan.” Cassian said, grimacing.

I agree.

I looked to General Draven for help, knowing he would look at it from a logical standpoint. “I agree.” He said.

Cassian looked smug until Draven said, “With Y/N.”

What?

“What?” Cassian echoed my inner thought, eyes wide.

General Draven shrugged, “It makes sense. We’ve been looking for information for months, and haven’t found anything. It’s time to dig deeper.”

I smiled at the small victory.

Cassian glared at me, “Fine. I’ll run the mission with K-2.”

I opened my mouth to protest, but General Draven cut me off. “No, it was Captain Y/L/N’s idea. She will lead the mission with K-2. Besides, I already have something lined up for you, Captain Andor.” He squared his shoulders, as if daring Cassian to argue with him.

Cassian glared back at me, then nodded at General Draven.

I was dismissed to prepare for my next mission as they stayed behind to discuss the details of Cassian’s. I was still gathering my few belongings when Cassian stormed into my room, furious. “Why would you do this?” He demanded.

“You mean my job?” I asked with a raised eyebrow.

Cassian sighed and ran a hand through his hair. “Y/N, we’ve never been able to successfully infiltrate a destroyer before.”

“No one has ever re-programmed a security droid either. Yet you did it.”

He groaned. “This is not the same thing. And you nearly died just trying to get him home.”

“And now he fights for us. Maybe the attempts on the destroyers have never been successful because we didn’t have K-2.”

“Why does it have to be you?” he asked, pleading.

“Because this is important, and it was my idea. Would you let anyone else carry out a plan that you came up with?”

“No, I would…” He stopped and glanced at me as I giggled. I watched as he realized what he had just said, and he stared at a spot on the ground. “You tricked me into saying that.”

“I did score pretty high in espionage.” I quirked, making him grin. I walked over to him and wrapped my arms around his waist. He seemed to fight it for a moment, but gave in and wrapped his arms around me, sighing into the hug. “I’ll be okay.” I said, enjoying the feel of him. It had been too long since we had really spent time with each other.

“You better.” He pulled away to look into my eyes. “Just make sure you come back to me.” He tangled his fingers in my hair, and pulled me into a passionate kiss.

I broke away from the kiss, breathless. I knew that if I lingered too long, I would never leave. “Always. Besides, we have a lot of missed time we need to catch up on.” I said, standing on my toes to press my lips against his in one more chaste kiss. I grabbed my bag and turned to leave, but stopped at the door. I turned to him, and watched him try to hide his look of pain. “I love you, Cass.” I said, feeling guilty.

He smiled at me sadly. “I love you too, Y/N.”

I winked at him, then walked out of the door.

Getting into the destroyer was easier than I had expected. We landed on an imperial occupied planet, and hid the Hammerhead. I borrowed some storm troopers’ armor…

Borrowed?

Well, after I knocked him out I relieved him of it. I don’t really intend to keep it at least. After I donned the armor, K-2 communicated with the computer and discovered there would be a shuttle leaving soon transporting a group of troopers back to the destroyer.

Can you believe the luck?

Once we were on board, K-2 and I moved freely around the ship. We were only stopped once by a trooper guarding the elevators.

“Where are you taking this droid?” He asked.

I looked up at K-2, hoping I wouldn’t have to say anything. I wasn’t sure if there were any female troopers, and was convinced my voice would immediately give me away.

K-2 started stuttering, as if he were shorting out.

“Taking him for repairs?” The trooper asked me.

I nodded once at him.

“Move along.” The trooper said, opening the elevator for me.

I pulled the stuttering K-2 into the elevator and shut the door.

“Nice work droid, you’ll make a fine spy someday.” I said, once the elevator started moving.

“It is what I’m programmed for human.” He quipped back, making me smile.

We arrived at a blessedly quiet floor, and found a small room that housed a computer K-2 could talk to.

“With good fortune like this, we’ll be out of here in no time.” I said, watching the door as K-2 worked.

He stood, communicating for the computer for a long time. Eventually, my nerves got the best of me. “Have you found anything yet?” I asked, feeling jittery.

“There is no mention of the weapon, but there are a few things that keep coming up. There are many mentions of kyber crystals, and attacks of shipments from Jedha by Saw Gerrerra. Plus, another name.” He said.

Cassian was right about the crystals.

“What’s the name?” I asked quietly, as a group of troopers passed by the door.

“Galen Erso.”

My head snapped up as the name registered. “The scientist?”

“Yes, he is a scientist.”

I remembered the words one of my instructors had spoken about Galen. Mostly, I remembered the awe in his voice. ‘Galen Erso, theoretician, mathematician, engineer and experimental physicist. He is the leading authority on crystals and their potential use in supplying power. And one of the few who refused to weaponize his knowledge.’

“Does it say where he is being held?” I asked.

“No, but there is also mention of a daughter. Jyn Erso, who is somehow connected to Saw Gerrerra. Her whereabouts are currently unknown.”

That’s it.

“Good work K-2, that’s something we can use!”

My joy was cut short by the sound of an alarm.

“K? What’s happening?”

“The computer is locking down. They have discovered that there is an intruder on board.”

My blood ran cold, “Does it say how many?”

“Just one, disguised as a storm trooper.” He said, looking at me.

“Oh.”

Maybe we should have hidden the unconscious trooper better.

My mind started racing. If they’re looking for a disguised storm trooper, I will most likely be an easy one to pick out. I am much shorter than all of them, and the first time I speak will be a dead giveaway.

They’re only looking for a disguised storm trooper.

I looked up at K-2 with a lump forming in my throat as I began to understand what would have to be done.

There’s only one way to get the information we found out of here.

“K, we’re going to have to split up.” I said, resolving myself.

“Cassian won’t like…”

“Cassian isn’t here.” I snapped. “Just, trust me on this. You have the information, and they aren’t looking for you. You need to get out. I’ll meet up with you when I can.”

Liar.

“You leave first,” I continued, “and head to the hanger. Catch the first transport, get to the Hammerhead and take off immediately. I’ll contact you if I get out.”

“The odds of your escape…”

“Don’t tell me the odds.” I said, closing my eyes. “Get going.”

K-2 looked at me for a moment, and headed to the door without another word.

“Wait, K.” I said, opening my eyes again.

He stopped and turned back to me.

I pulled out a holo-recorder I had been carrying and stared at it, thinking about the message it contained. I handed it to K-2 with a shaking hand, and said, “Give this to Cassian if I don’t make it out. When the time is right.”

He looked down at the recorder, then back to me. “When will be the right time?”

“You’re his friend, right?” K-2 just stared at me. “You’ll know.”

He glanced toward the door, then back at me. “I forgive you, you know.” I looked up at him with a raised eyebrow. “For shooting my arm off. And threatening to turn my head into a lamp. I must admit I understand the draw, I would make a handsome lamp.”

I giggled, and gazed fondly at the droid. “Get going.”

“It would be easier if I had a blaster.”

I rolled my eyes. “No, K-2. That’s just an easy way for you to be discovered.”

“Couldn’t hurt to try.” He said strolling out the door.

If I didn’t know any better, I would say he was part human.

I chuckled as I watched the K-2 disappear down the hallway. I gave him to the count of ten, and exited the room in the opposite direction, walking slowly.

You and me to the end then?

“Did you really see it happening any other way?”

Not really, but one could always hope.

“Funny, you’re supposed to be the logical one.”

I’m your own mind you know, it’s not my fault you spent too much time alone and turned me into a separate entity.

“Fair enough.” I said.

I heard the sound of armored feet closing in, and I decided to strip off my disguise.

Thank goodness, that armor looked terrible on you.

“Really? I thought I looked pretty good.”

The footsteps were almost on top of me now. The lullaby suddenly felt heavy on my shoulder.

I pulled out my blaster. “Take out as many as we can before we go to sleep?”

I always wanted to go out in a blaze of glory.

“Blaze of glory it is then.” I said, firing as the first trooper rounded the corner.

I was sitting on the ground propped against a wall, barely able to keep my eyes open. I stared at the lullaby in my hand, thinking of Cassian. I prayed that he would understand why I had to do this.

I was surrounded by bodies. They had arrived in waves but I kept firing relentlessly, wanting to take out as many as I could to give K-2 time to escape. I’m not really sure how many times I have been shot at this point, but the rush of adrenaline and the need for time kept me going.

Now I sit here, injured and completely spent, hoping that my diversion had been enough. I was pulled out of my thoughts when I heard another group of troopers arriving. “I’m sorry, Cass.” Letting out a heavy sigh, I popped the pill into my mouth and swallowed.

Not bad kiddo.

“Thanks for having my back, brain.” I mumbled.

Always.

My vision started to fade as the troopers rounded the corner and started shouting. I couldn’t hear what they were saying. When I looked up, Rhayna was standing in front of me with her hand held out to me.

“Come on Captain Dummy. You did good.” She said, smiling at me.

I reached out to her, but hesitated. “Does it hurt?”

She cocked her head to the side in confusion. “Death?”

I nodded.

“No, it’s easier than going to sleep.”

I smiled, and took her hand.

She helped me up, and I never felt pain again.

#rogue one imagine #rogue one reader insert #cassian x reader #cassian imagine #cassian andor x reader