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#like i have cut my audience in half at least! if not more with this fic
saintsenara · 1 day
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what are ur thoughts on all the young dudes man i gotta know
i've never read it, and i can't really see any situation in which i will. not only am i wolfstar-ambivalent, i'm also wizards-knowing-loads-about-muggle-pop-culture-ambivalent - so i'm very much not the target audience.
[although i'm not "what's going on in the 1970s"-ambivalent by any means, so there's that.]
but i suspect anyone who reads this blog regularly knew that - and so i also suspect [even though i wouldn't dare to assume this of you and your intentions in asking this, anon] that it might be presumed that i'm going to pop off about several of the phenomena all the young dudes has set into motion...
and sure, the contemporary marauders subfandom is not a space i'm interested in spending any time in - which is why i don't - but i think it's nonetheless worth saying something in defence of it.
all the young dudes deserves more credit than i think it gets in the fandom more widely - especially in those bits of the fandom which are more interested in canon compliance and canon coherence - for being a genuine pop-culture phenomenon. all corners of the fandom have benefitted from this - i guarantee that huge numbers of people who have returned to the harry potter fandom since 2020 have done so because they've read it [or, at the very least, heard of it], and i also guarantee that many of those people have gone on to make a home for themselves in spaces which seem to have very little in common with the marauders subfandom [such as canon-compliant jily or pro-snape spaces]. many of the things it does - especially the integration of muggle pop-culture into its worldbuilding - have clearly influenced how plenty of authors approach their own work, even if that work is otherwise removed from it in vibe. and its aesthetic is all over the non-fic aspects of fandom too - every "canon-compliant" moodboard or edit or playlist i've ever seen would fit well into the atyd universe. i think it doesn't hurt to acknowledge its influence - it doesn't mean that an author can't disagree with its approach.
[or: my view on all the young dudes is very similar to my view on taylor swift. i've never listened to a single one of her albums, i'm not sure i could name more than about five of her songs - and i don't think the five i can name are any good, i sometimes see flashes of the inter-swiftie discourse and it's like reading a text in a language i can only half speak - but i would be a fool to dismiss her broader pop-culture influence, including on musicians i do follow more closely, or the fact that the fandom which surrounds her is both sincerely interesting, not least from an anthropological perspective, and something in which people i like and respect participate.]
i also don't think the divisions between the marauders subfandom and other spaces are as clear-cut as is often made out. and i think that all the young dudes often gets used as a stick with which to beat this point - particularly because people in the marauders subfandom are frequently accused of not having read the books, and elevating atyd's interpretation of characters [especially sirius and remus] and events over the seven-book series.
that the subfandom elevates fanon and headcanon over canon is a legitimate point. but i think we should all get a fucking grip and recognise that this can disinterest us - or even annoy us - and still not be something any of us should think is that deep.
after all, like anyone, i've encountered people in fandom who write unrecognisable versions of characters, are completely resistant to the idea that their interpretation isn't correct, and believe that it's evidence of deep-seated prejudice to pair their faves with different people... and every single one is someone who believes that their approach is meticulously canon-compliant.
or - as the old adage goes - "people who live in glass subfandoms shouldn't throw stones at roadman remus".
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i wish there was a space for actual adults within this fandom. i guess i will have to create it, even if it's just me and other five people and a shoelace. i wonder how this whole thing is gonna develop!
#personal#the entire internet but also this fandom specifically is infested with ppl whose reading comprehension is lower than a 6th grader's#can't a gal enjoy a middle-aged actress without being pestered by toddlers with pitchforks#and i know i'm the pettiest bitch but i am ANNOYED esp when i see how old these ppl are. if you're over 25 you have no excuse daskjfhg#like i have cut my audience in half at least! if not more with this fic#but i'm happy bc i'm producing content i wanna produce#i wonder how my new fics are gonna be received#after i finish “particular” i have another thing coming up that ppl probs won't like lol#but i think it's important i post it#and then we have murder mysteries and gothic horror and wooooo you know#it's gonna be fun! and a bit disturbing!#wonder if imma be dragged on twitter again lol#but i sincerely hope no one will care lol#honestly i never expected ppl to care THAT much but i guess they did#it also annoys me that a concerningly small amount seems to care abt the actual quality of writing#and i'm over here agonising about Stylistic Choices(TM) lol#i feel like it flies over ppl's heads and they just wanna read abt larissa weems fucking them with a shapeshifted dick#which okay i guess but also what abt Literature#you could do smth creative with a shapeshifting character just saying. and include your magic cocks or whatever tf you're into#ah i am fuming in vain i will just write my lil fics and hope i don't get a new influx of kys messages lol
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In the Labyrinth (M) ~Changbin
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Pairing: Minotaur!Changbin x AFAB.Reader Themes: Mythical AU | Angst | Smut | Fluff Word Count: ~14k | AO3 Synopsis: The Labyrinth was an enigma for most people. Its existence was known, but what exactly happened within it was a complete mystery. When you entered the Labyrinth, you weren’t really sure what you’d have to come face to face with… Not even in a million years would you have guessed just exactly what you’d find in here. Warnings: descriptors of the reader such as: having long hair · mentions of murder · mentions of assault · depictions of anxiety · violence (in many different forms) · Changbin is 300cm tall (feels like that warrants a warning) · graphic depictions of outercourse (smut warnings under the cut). - feel free to let me know if i missed any.
Author’s Note: shout out to the anon that sent this ask back in august and ingrained the mental image of minotaur!changbin in my brain. more notes at the end.
Due to all the abovementioned warnings, this story is intended for an adult audience only. Minors please do not interact.
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Smut Warnings: size kink · literal monster cock (he’s a giant… and a half-bull, half-man one at that…) · nipple play · mutual masturbation · non-penetrative sex.
Disclaimer: the story presented in this work does not represent Stray Kids in any way; anything described in this story and all actions performed by the characters are purely fictional, this was created just for good fun.
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The sound of your footsteps bounced off of the walls. The corridors were more than spacious, well over twenty metres wide, with the ceiling probably twice as high, but even if it wasn’t crowded in here, it still made you a bit claustrophobic.
You supposed that the few holes in the ceiling did help ease that feeling a little bit. Emphasis on a little bit.
Even if you weren’t particularly thrilled about being down here, you still walked, because there was simply nothing else to do.
You could’ve sat down and awaited your death exactly where you had landed when they threw you in here, but you were never one to remain still for too long. 
So, after having a good crying session, and after hours had passed since you’d been given your death sentence, you had finally stood up and started to walk.
You knew what this place was, although you’d never really seen it. You hadn’t even known it was here in this exact area. 
The Labyrinth.
It was said that the place was humongous, practically never-ending, built by a king in ancient times as an offering to the Gods. Presumably, it’d ended up buried in the earth as time passed, and it stretched over kilometres and kilometres of land, but no one had really seen it and lived to tell the tale. At least, no one you knew of.
Law enforcement clearly knew the place, but you weren’t really sure if you could call them people. After all, they had never taken you seriously when you’d sought out their help. In a way, you felt like it was their fault you’d ended up here in the first place…
Although you’d heard of this place, you never really imagined it’d look like this inside. The brick walls were looking a bit worn down, but still structurally sound. They were lined with torches lit with eternal fire, just like the tales said. The floor would alternate between dirt, gravel, actual flooring, and mud. 
As you walked, you saw some ponds, some that even had fish inside. You figured that could be a potential way out, but you weren’t sure how deep you’d have to swim or if that’d be viable at all, so you scrapped the thought altogether. 
Sometimes, you’d see trees. Especially in those areas where there were holes on the ceiling. 
Some of those holes were partially blocked by metal rods, like law enforcement realised they were there and did the minimum required to keep a person or an animal from falling inside. Others were fully open, they varied in sizes, but they were honestly too high up for a person to reach them.
The trees, the mismatched flooring, and the occasional patch of grass weren’t that odd, though. They fit in well, and their presence made sense. What did feel out of place were the drawings on the walls. 
They weren’t on every wall, but there were so many of them it was hard not to notice they were there. Some looked like they’d been there for a long time, the colours were a bit washed out and some of the pigment had probably been absorbed by the brick overtime. Others looked like they could’ve been made a few weeks ago.
Birds, trees, deer, the sun, the moon… They were mostly nature themed, and, in any other context, you might’ve been inspired by the artistry. Even if they intrigued you, it was hard to appreciate them when you felt so hopeless, when you felt so… empty.
As soon as you had stopped crying earlier, you had accepted your fate–how long had it been since then? How long have you been walking for? Hours? How many? It was hard to tell down here… 
You realised just how much time had passed once you noticed another hole in the ceiling. You might’ve missed a few before, since it was clearly now well into the night and there was no light to highlight their presence. 
The faint stars you could see out of that hole made a knot form in your throat and tears well in your eyes. 
This was unfair.
You shouldn’t be the one in here. 
If anything, it should’ve been him.
If anyone had paid attention to you, it would’ve been him.
But instead, here you were.
You found a patch of grass under that hole you saw, so you just laid down and curled in on yourself and called it a night.
As the tears started to fall again, you reminded yourself that you had accepted your fate.
There was no going back now.
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It was hard to tell how long you’d been inside the Labyrinth for. 
The first couple of days, you kept count diligently, but at some point you realised it was absolutely pointless. Why would you even want to know that information, if you weren’t going to be able to leave?
You were on your own here. 
You’d seen items that clearly belonged to someone at some point scattered around the many corridors of the Labyrinth, but you hadn’t seen a single soul. Only the fish you’d caught from the occasional pond you found that helped keep your stomach full, or the odd magpie that would come from one of the ceiling’s holes and jump around for a bit before taking off and leaving you alone once again.
You were on your own here… That was, as long as the stories weren’t true.
At first, you thought that the death sentence meant you’d be locked here to starve to death, but that logic started to crumble when you saw just how many sources of sustenance were available. Fresh water, fruit, fish, birds–if one was skilled enough to be able to hunt one of those, or at least have the will to…
You wondered if law enforcement knew this place was like this… Whether they knew or not, you figured it probably didn’t matter. The longer you spent here, the more it made sense to you that the stories were true.
It was said that a beast lived inside the Labyrinth. 
A beast that would make the strongest, bravest man cower in fear.
Some people said it had multiple sets of arms, or that it was as big as the royal library building, bigger than any temple anyone had seen. Others said it was such a deformed being that just the sight of it would kill you, and if that didn’t, it would make sure to do so by eating its victims piece by piece.
You knew these were nothing but stories to garner attention, for people to cause unnecessary chaos just because they could. If these people had actually seen this alleged beast, you supposed they wouldn’t even be alive to share their experience with the world.
You had never believed such a thing existed, but as nights and days went by, there was a small–and very scared–part of you that believed it might be true. Maybe this beast was very real, and was roaming the corridors of the Labyrinth.
Even if you’d been lucky to have found a few ponds that were large enough for you to bathe in, you still had pretty much only what you’d been wearing since you were thrown in here. You had used those ponds to wash your peplos a few times, but, unfortunately, it wasn’t even in good shape to begin with, and rinsing it in water seemed to hardly help its condition.
Your feet ached, your sandals were certainly not meant to be used to walk these distances, and the feeling of your dirty garments, combined with the lack of human contact, were steadily driving you crazy with every day that passed. Maybe this was the punishment. To be driven to insanity by what would usually be a minor inconvenience, by the amount of nothing that was happening around you.
The fact that you kept seeing his face in your dreams didn’t help it one bit.
Sometimes, you’d see it even when you were awake. You just needed to close your eyes, and you immediately got flashes of red and the feeling of pure hatred and anger… 
You always felt like washing your hands after, like jumping into any pond or puddle you could find. And whenever you could, you did.
Unfortunately, no amount of hand-washing and bathing would make the feeling go away.
You figured you’d have to learn to live with it.
As you furiously scrubbed your palms for the millionth time that day, you started to hear something.
Your movements stopped, but your hands remained submerged in the pond. It was usually quiet inside the Labyrinth, save for the few birds that’d sometimes fly and sing above you, or the occasional splashing fish inside the numerous bodies of water. 
But, right now, you could definitely hear something… Not only that, but you could feel something.
You could barely notice while you still had your hands under the water, but the rippling on the surface of it couldn’t have been made by you. Not when the little pebbles on the ground were shaking, too.
Thump…
Thump…
Thump…
Thump…
The sound seemed to be coming from the corridor on your right. It was growing closer, but your body wouldn’t move. You couldn’t move. You were just kneeling there, looking at the flickering torches lining the walls, with your hands still inside the pond, completely paralysed.
It wasn’t until you saw the shadow of something popping from around the corner that you actually came to your senses.
You had to run.
And you had to run now.
You stood up from the ground faster than you could even blink. Taking the lower part of your peplos with tight, wet fists, you just started to run as fast as you could. 
You could practically feel your heart in your throat as anxiety started to kick in. You had convinced yourself that this beast didn’t exist, you had thought that since you hadn’t seen it in your time here, it must’ve not existed at all.
But the deep bellow that resonated within the corridor was proof enough that you had been severely mistaken.
It was so loud that the sound seemed to penetrate into your skin and rattle your bones from deep within. A ringing broke free in your ears, accompanying your agitated heartbeat.
Thump… Thump… Thump… Thump… Thump… Thump… Thump… 
The whole ground shook with each heavy step the beast took, so much so, you tripped and fell into a path of rough gravel, ripping your clothing and scraping your knees in the process.
You couldn’t stop, though. There was no pain, no moment to think twice, you just stood up and kept running. You ran and ran and ran, turning the many corners of the Labyrinth as you went… 
There was a little voice in the back of your mind telling you it was useless, but you didn’t want to hear it. You refused to hear it.
At least, until you turned and found yourself in a dead end. 
Thump… Thump… Thump… Thump… Thump… Thump… Thump… 
Whatever it was, it drew closer and closer, shaking the ceiling and the walls as it tried to catch up with you.
Maybe you could still escape it somehow. Maybe, you’d be able to run past it and lose it in the many corridors of the Labyrinth.
When you turned around, you realised just how foolish that thought had been.
The air escaped your lungs when your back hit the wall. Your feet weren’t touching the ground, and you could feel pressure on your sides from where you were being held against the wall.
Your vision was blurry from the lack of oxygen, you could barely make out the shape in front of you. Horns, fur, and… and a face.
You’d accepted your fate…
Or so you had thought.
“Please…” Your voice was barely above a whisper, not only due to how breathless you were after running for so long and after being pushed so forcibly against the wall, but also because the knot in your throat was just too big. “Don’t–Don’t hurt me”.
The first tear fell down your cheek, and many more followed soon after. You couldn’t see properly. Whatever was in front of you, was big enough to shield all light from hitting whichever parts you could’ve potentially seen.
The creature huffed, and you closed your eyes tightly as its face moved closer to yours.
Its breath was warm against your face. You almost flinched, expecting the smell of rotten flesh to envelop you, but, instead, all you could smell was laurel.
You could feel yourself tremble in its hold as sobs kept escaping your throat. The creature sniffed you, first your face, then your neck. It got so close in its exploration that you could feel the tip of a textured, moist nose against your skin. You braced yourself for what was to come. You were sure it was getting ready to eat you whole, hopefully in one single chomp, so you wouldn’t have to suffer too much…
The thing pulled away from your neck, and just when you thought it was going to go for it, you were moving. 
It was so unexpected you barely registered it.
One second you were pressed against the bricks, and the next your stomach was pressing against firm muscle, and your arms were dangling over the creature’s back. Almost like it… like it had thrown you over its shoulder. And, after a few seconds of shock, you realised it had.
The beast had a strong hold on your back as it started to walk, presumably taking you somewhere.
You tried to blink the remaining tears away, at least enough so you could properly see something, anything.
You caught sight of the ground. You were definitely moving, and, for a moment, you thought you were imagining things. 
You could see smooth skin, you could feel it against your arms and hands whenever they hit it as they moved with each of the creature’s steps. Its back was very human-like… However, that smooth skin transitioned into dark fur towards the lower part of its body.
The tail of the creature swishing from side to side was the last thing you saw before you lost grasp of your surroundings.
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Warmth.
You felt warm, but it wasn’t an unpleasant feeling. It was more like… a cosy feeling.
There was soft fabric under your hands, you could feel it dragging against your skin as your consciousness woke up.
Laurel… The smell of it filled your senses with that first intake of breath. 
Laurel… like the beast’s breath.
Your eyes snapped open. They immediately landed on the patch of night sky that could be seen from the hole in the ceiling, right on top of you. You blinked slowly, taking in the sight of the twinkling stars above you. 
Faint chewing sounds brought you back into the room, they made you remember what had happened before you lost consciousness. With quick movements, you sat up, and your breath hitched in your throat when your eyes locked onto the beast sitting a few metres in front of you.
Its eyes bore into yours as it chewed leisurely, on what you assumed to be a deer leg based on the shape of it. It didn’t make any movements, nor did it make any sounds–other than the occasional grunt when the meat was too stuck to the bone.
You were, quite honestly, speechless.
You had heard of the beast, but none of the descriptions truly matched what you were seeing right now.
A big, big creature. Inhumanly tall. Its torso was that of a man. Well defined, smooth, tanned skin, strong–very strong…–pecs, nipples adorned with silver jewellery, even stronger looking arms, and, although bigger than you had ever seen them, very human-looking hands. 
That torso transitioned into bovine-like lower limbs–covered in thick, dark fur, strong thighs and calves, ending in hooves. But, most impactful, was its head. Human-looking as well, save for the pair of horns that protruded from its skull and a cattle-like nose. The horns were decorated with thick silver rings that glistened with the very few torches lit around the room.
Its face, though… Chubby cheeks, pouty lips, and a strong, but bull-looking nose, pierced with a thick silver hoop. Objectively, the face of a handsome man, all things considered…
You had truly never, ever seen anything like it.
The way it was looking at you felt purposeful, like it wasn’t doing it just for the sake of it, but more like it was aware of your presence in a conscious, coherent way. It wasn’t just the way an animal would look at another animal, more like a human would look at another human.
You swallowed, suddenly hyper aware of your body. Everything hurt. Your feet, your knees, your arms… you were sore all over. When you finally broke eye contact with the creature–man…?–in front of you, and looked at yourself instead, you were perplexed at the sight of your bandaged knees.
Your eyes snapped back up to meet the beast’s, who was eating the last few pieces of meat off the bone in his hand, but still looking at you. 
“Did you…” Your voice broke due to your sore throat. You cleared it before you tried to speak again. “Did you do this?”
You gestured to the bandages, and it nodded to your question.
The beast understood you. It understood you and was able to answer the question.
“…Why?”
It seemed to be thoughtful for a moment, suckling on the bone to leave it completely clean before it threw it on a pile of bones in a corner of the room. Ultimately it simply shrugged, rendering you speechless once again.
The beast stood up from the ground, and walked towards another corner of the room, where a pond was. It knelt on the edge of it, and dipped its hands into the water. After scooping some water into its palms, it brought them close to his face and drank from them. 
Was it… washing its hands? And its mouth?
You realised it was, in fact, washing its mouth when it–he…?–finally stood up and walked over to some trees, where he plucked some leaves to eat them–or, more accurately, to chew on them.
“What… What are you?” You couldn’t help the question from leaving your mouth. What you were seeing right now was so absurd you just needed to ask.
He shrugged once again, chewing leisurely as it finally started walking closer to you. 
You honestly didn’t even try to move away, you were too in awe of his entire existence for your body to properly send you into fight or flight response. 
He was so… big. Even when he finally crouched in front of the pile of fabric you’d been laying on, he just looked huge.
“Changbin”, he said all of a sudden.
Your jaw went slack for a moment. He could speak.
“Ch–Changbin?”
He nodded. “That’s what… my father calls me”.
Changbin spoke slowly, like he wasn’t used to speaking at all. You supposed it made sense, considering the stories surrounding the beast inside the Labyrinth.
But… father, he said? “You… you have a father?”
He nodded again, but didn’t say anything else. Changbin just looked at you, in complete silence.
You’d admit it was a bit… awkward.
“Do you… Is this what you do with the people that are thrown into the Labyrinth?”
Changbin shook his head, which further puzzled you.
“I usually kill them. Sometimes I eat them if there’s nothing else to eat… Other times, just use them as food for the plants and birds that live here”, he said simply, like it was nothing. You supposed to him it was nothing.
“Why haven’t you killed me?” You had to ask, because you just couldn’t comprehend how you could still be alive.
His eyes jumped from one of yours to the other repeatedly for a bit. Until he eventually shrugged. “Don’t want to”.
You didn’t really feel like asking ‘Why?’ again, so you just cleared your throat, and decided to introduce yourself instead.
Changbin remained quiet for a few moments, until he repeated your name a few times out loud, like he was trying to get used to the sound. 
After about ten minutes of prying, Changbin explained to you that this was his den. It was at the very centre of the Labyrinth. He knew this whole place like the back of his hand, every twist and turn, every pond and every tree, he knew where absolutely everything was. Apparently, he’d lived here a long, long time.
You wanted to inquire more, but before you could, his ears perked up, and he looked towards the one and only exit of this area.
“Someone’s entered the Labyrinth”, he mumbled, almost to himself. He stood up from the floor, and wiped his hands on his fur before he started walking. When he reached the entrance, he turned back to look at you. “Stay here. Will be back in a couple of days”.
You didn’t really think you had any other choice.
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Coexisting with Changbin was… weird.
It wasn’t uncomfortable by any means, but it was certainly weird. 
He clearly didn’t understand human behaviour much. As in, he’d do things people typically didn’t do.
He’d stare at you a lot–very intensely, if you might add–he spoke in short sentences, or was too forward with what he said. For the most part, though, you didn’t mind. Considering the type of men you were used to, Changbin was far from bad.
Was he a huge half-man, half-bull creature that ate humans sometimes?
Yes.
But even then, he was heaps better than other men you’d met.
He had offered his nest for you to sleep on. He’d shared with you any fish he caught, and even brought you fruit sometimes. For the most part, you didn’t leave his den, and he simply let you stay.
Being honest, part of the reason why you didn’t leave was because you weren’t sure if you were allowed to. After all, he’d brought you in here himself. 
Whenever someone entered the Labyrinth, he’d always ask you to stay while he left to look for them. Upon his return, he’d also share whichever goods he’d retrieved.
“You want this?” Changbin offered you a lump of fabric. It almost looked like a napkin in his hands, but when you took it and had a good look at it, you realised it was a chiton. And a fairly new one at that.
Your peplos was way too worn by now. You weren’t really sure how long you’d been inside the Labyrinth at this point, but you also figured it really didn’t matter. You’d washed your clothes plenty of times during your time here, but the rips and tears were just too many already, so you accepted the fresh garment.
“Thank you”, you looked up at him, trying not to focus too much on the swell of his chest, or the trail of fur that started from his navel and continued downwards, turning into his bovine legs.
Changbin was, truly, a sight to behold. Roughly three metres of hunk… The longer you spent around him, the longer you just… wanted to look at him. 
You supposed you weren’t any different than him in that regard. At least, he didn’t seem bothered by it when you stared at him.
Changbin nodded, and made his way to his makeshift, newer nest. You felt a bit bad that you’d taken his much bigger sleeping space, but when you tried to get him to use it again, he simply told you ‘It’s your nest now’, so you just… kept using it to lay and sleep on.
“Washed it on my way here”, Changbin said once he was sitting on his nest, looking at you. Only then did you realise he’d not only brought the chiton with him, but also a bowl full of what looked like wildberries, and a guest.
The guest sat on the very top of his head, it was a bird. A fairly small one, but one that was clearly injured, if the way it weakly fluttered its wings was anything to go by.
You nodded, and repeated a soft ‘Thank you’. You honestly tried not to think too much about the person this piece of clothing belonged to just a few days ago. There was no point in that… It was yours now. 
When you brought your hand to the fabric belt around your waist, you untied the knot that kept your peplos in place. The garment loosened, but before you could remove it, you looked back at Changbin.
He was just… staring at you. Like he always did.
You swallowed, trying to ignore the heat you felt spreading on your cheeks. “Could you, uhm…”
His ears perked up, listening intently to what you had to say. 
“Could you maybe look away?” 
Changbin blinked slowly, and his tail started swishing calmly behind him. “Why?”
“Because, y’know… I’m going to undress”, you replied simply, bringing the chiton closer to your chest. The heat on your face seemed to intensify.
“And?” 
You were slightly taken aback by that. But as you looked at him, you couldn’t see anything other than genuine curiosity in his eyes. “I’ll undress… That means I’ll be naked in front of you”.
“Okay”.
Now you started blinking slowly. Okay he said. Just… Okay. How… odd. “Changbin, I don’t want you to, uh… see”.
His eyebrows furrowed at that. “Why?”
“Because it’s not appropriate”.
“How come?” He placed the bowl on the ground and leaned back on his hands, spreading his legs in front of him. “I’m naked right now”.
Ah… You supposed he was naked.
You tried really hard not to move your eyes away from his face, especially considering the position he was in… You didn’t want your eyes to just wander to improper territories. After all, there seemed to be a lot to look at…
As you pushed aside the chaotic thoughts inside your head, his comment made you realise that maybe it wasn’t inappropriate to be naked. At least not here, not with Changbin.
You weren’t on the surface anymore. You weren’t bound to human customs anymore, not since the moment you’d been sentenced, and the more you thought of that, the more you started to understand. 
This was your safe place now. There was no judgement here, or, at least, you hadn’t felt any at all.
So you swallowed, suddenly feeling a bit nervous. With your eyes fixed on Changbin’s, you tried your best to ignore the warmth that took over your face as you undid your peplos. 
The garment fell to the floor, and only then did his eyes wander. He looked at you, with his head tilted to the side. You could’ve sworn you saw his eyes twinkle under the light of the few flickering torches on the wall. ‘Don’t like to keep too many in here… Too bright’, Changbin had told you a few days ago, when you’d asked why there weren’t as many torches in his den as in the corridor walls, and his answer had just made sense to you.
You could almost feel his eyes tracing every curve of your body, and you tried to not focus on how that made you feel. Instead, you just threw the chiton on and quickly fastened it with the belt around your waist.
Changbin’s eyes were back on yours as you finished fixing your clothes, before you started to plait your hair.
“Are you cold?” He asked all of a sudden, just as you finished tying your hair.
Your eyebrows furrowed in confusion. “Not… not particularly?” 
“Why’d you wear that, then?”
“Wear what? This?” You gestured to the garment you’d just put on, and Changbin simply nodded to your question. You blinked blankly at him for a few moments before you answered him. “I don’t… I shouldn’t be showing my body like that, y’know? It’s inappropriate. At least, on the surface it is. So we just… wear clothes”.
“That’s why humans wear clothes?” He sounded genuinely incredulous, and based on the way his eyes widened, you figured he was. “Thought y’all were just cold all the time”.
You couldn’t help but snort at that. You laughed. You laughed like you hadn’t laughed in weeks, almost madly even. 
This was all just so, so absurd. You’d been sentenced to death, and somehow, you’d ended up here, with a creature like Changbin. A sentient creature that thought humans wore clothes just because ‘they were cold all the time’.
“Why shouldn’t you show your body?” Changbin looked beyond confused, and somehow it made you laugh harder. “It’s… well, there. It’s you. Why hide it?”
Your laugh died down, and you wiped the few stray tears that had fallen from your eyes. There was a small smile tugging at his lips, he didn’t seem fazed by your fit of laughter other than looking mildly confused now, so you just composed yourself and answered him as honestly as you could. “It’s… a private thing…”
“Private?” Changbin asked, tilting his head cutely to the side. “So no one has seen you naked?”
You went quiet at that, and started fidgeting with the end of your belt. “Some people have… Y’know, my mum… My–my husband…”
The title left a bitter taste on your tongue, but you tried to ignore it. You didn’t like thinking about him. Whenever you did, you always tried to squash the mental image to the deepest recesses of your mind. It was just… a bit too much still.
“You’re married?” Changbin asked, curiously, leaning forward and resting his arms on his knees.
“Not anymore”, you looked away from him, trying to ignore his peering eyes. You really didn’t feel like elaborating further, so you tried to divert the conversation by talking about literally anything else. The weather, the flowers that had started to bloom in his garden, the bird on top of his head…
Changbin didn’t really pry further, he just followed your chaotic rambling as best as he could, until he eventually started crushing the berries in his bowl and telling you about the bird.
Apparently, he’d found it yesterday when he was on his way back here, and had been trying to nurse it back into health since. While he told you the story, he kept crushing the wildberries in his bowl, and he’d occasionally bring his free hand up to the little critter. It simply pecked his fingertip a few times before it resumed grooming his hair. 
After a while, he stood up from his makeshift nest. With his bowl of crushed berries in hand, and the injured bird nestled on the crown of his head among his messy hair, Changbin made his way to a nearby wall. You just watched him curiously from where you were laying on his original nest.
Changbin dipped two of his fingers in the mixture of crushed berries, and then he just… drew a line on the wall.
Then another…
And another… 
He was silent for the most part, but low noises would occasionally resonate from his chest when the little bird on his head chirped. It was almost like they were having a conversation.
And you figured they were. Mostly because every couple of lines he made, he’d huff, and the bird would chirp in response. Changbin simply nodded–carefully, as to not let the bird fall with the movement–and kept on drawing.
You weren’t sure how long you spent there, just looking at him doing his thing, but it was genuinely fascinating. The way his tail would sway every once in a while, the way the muscles on his back flexed and relaxed as he moved all sorts of ways as he painted on the walls…
Eventually, his lines took the very distinct shape of a bird, one that mirrored the one on his head almost perfectly.
“Changbin?” You asked after a while. He hummed to let you know he was listening, so you continued. “Did you make all the other drawings throughout the Labyrinth?”
It seemed like a silly question to ask, because, who else would’ve done it, if not the beast doing one just now in front of you?
Changbin added the finishing touches to his drawing, then he turned to look at you. He offered the remnants of crushed berries in his bowl to the bird, just as he brought the two fingers he’d been using to his mouth so he could lick them clean.
You tried not to focus too much on the action by fixing your eyes on his. 
He pulled his digits out of his mouth with a slight sucking sound, and nodded. “I did”.
“Mmm… They’re pretty”, you said simply.
Because, to you, they were.
You found them odd when you first saw them, since they didn’t seem to fit the aura surrounding this place, but they were certainly pretty. And knowing they’d been made by him, just seemed to make them even prettier.
Changbin finally put the bowl down on one of the many tall–but flat–rocks scattered throughout the room, and, for a moment, you could’ve sworn his cheeks had reddened. “Thanks…”
You just offered him a smile, even if he wasn’t looking at you. 
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A cold wind filtered through the hole in the ceiling, it had your teeth chattering and your whole body shivering. You tried to cover yourself further, but the way Changbin had built his nest made it so you really couldn’t pull fabric from it without messing it up, and there was no spare cloth close by that you could use as a blanket.
It made sense, you supposed. He didn’t seem like he needed anything to keep himself warm, and you also hadn’t needed it before during your stay here, so you hadn’t even tried to ask for one.
You heard faint shuffling, followed by quiet thump, thump, thumps, until you felt warmth close to you.
“Tiny human”, Changbin mumbled, pulling your attention fully towards him.
You hummed to let him know you were listening, but you didn’t open your eyes, nor did you feel like wasting energy saying actual words. You needed to use every bit of it you could to try to keep yourself warm.
“You’re whimpering. Why?”
Had you been whimpering?
You hadn’t even realised you were. Maybe you’d fallen asleep without noticing… 
You took a deep breath, trying to steady your trembling form, but it only brought a rush of cold air inside your body. “M’cold…”
There was silence for a moment. With half lidded eyes, you could’ve sworn you were seeing your breath coming out of your mouth in little white clouds. It didn’t make you feel any better. If anything, it agitated you a bit more, but you couldn’t even express it fully.
Changbin was quiet for a long while, but you could still feel him close. You appreciated it. It felt like moral support, at least. 
Eventually, you heard–and felt–him shuffle closer to the nest. “Can I… Can I keep you warm?”
You immediately nodded. You didn’t care what he did, or how he did it. You just needed to be warm, and if he could give you that you’d honestly take it.
There was more shuffling, and then there was a minute dip in the nest. You yelped when you felt Changbin’s arm wrap around your waist and pull you into him from behind.
His hold was strong, firm, but also… gentle. He kept you close, with his chin resting on the top of your head and a hand pressed firmly against your stomach. He was so close, and so, so warm, you immediately felt yourself relaxing, moulding into his body, almost like… like you’d always been meant to.
Slowly, his warmth seeped into you, until you were no longer shivering. Tentatively, you placed a hand on top of the one he kept on your stomach. You could’ve sworn you felt him jump a bit behind you, but as soon as you started tracing his knuckles with your fingertips, he seemed to relax once again.
You weren’t really sure what compelled you to do it, you had just… felt like doing it. You spent a while just like that, feeling each knuckle of his fingers, feeling the prominent veins on the back of his hand. They were so big… especially compared to your own.
You’d never felt like a particularly small person, but next to him, you certainly looked tiny, you felt tiny. But only physically. Being honest, you’d never felt as equal to someone as you felt with Changbin.
“I think you’re pretty, too”, he mumbled all of a sudden, and for a moment, you felt your heart stop, only to resume its beating at record-breaking speeds. “Like my drawings, I mean…”
You turned in his hold, and immediately buried your face in his neck. Not only seeking the heat of his skin, but also trying to hide the flustered reaction on your face. He just held you closer, further enveloping you in his warmth. 
“Thank you…” You mumbled against the skin of his neck, and he simply offered you a tiny sound of content in response.
In the safety of Changbin’s arms, blanketed in his body heat, you finally fell asleep. 
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You didn’t mind staying at Changbin’s den, but you were starting to get a bit… bored. 
Mostly if he was gone. When he was there, you could at least strike conversation, or play some sort of game. Knucklebones was a favourite of yours, for example.
When he wasn’t here, all you did was try to keep yourself entertained with whatever items Changbin had lying around, or by tending to the garden inside the den.
At some point, you’d managed to use some of the numerous pieces of fabric he’d collected to make yourself a proper blanket. Although, to be fair, you hardly ever needed it.
It was a given at this point that he’d snuggle up next to you to keep you warm. Since that very first night, you’d only had to use your blanket when someone had entered the Labyrinth and he wasn’t here.
You’d admit, sleeping with Changbin was… nice. Especially since temperatures seemed to be decreasing by the day.
He was all plush and warm and his heartbeat just helped you relax. Ever since you got married–since you were forced to get married…–you had never enjoyed sharing your sleeping space, but, with Changbin, it was different. You just… felt safe. As odd as that might sound.
“It’s not fair! You got it so much easier to pick those up!” Changbin huffed, clicking his tongue when you, once again, beat him at your game of knucklebones.
“Find bigger pieces, then!” You chuckled, jiggling the small set of bones in your hand. “I’m sure there are plenty of huge rocks you can get in here”.
He just clicked his tongue again, finishing in a cute pout as he crossed his arms over his chest. All that did was bring your attention to the swell of his pecs and the size of his arms, which immediately made you swallow. 
Dear Gods, was he big… 
You scrambled to fix your eyes on his face. These were thoughts you didn’t feel like entertaining… what would be the point of it if you did? What would you even do with someone like Changbin? It felt a bit too… complicated. But, there was a little voice in the deepest areas of your conscience begging you to entertain the thought… telling you that it’d surely be worth it.
You decided to ignore it.
“Hey, Changbin”, you tried to get his attention back on you, disregarding the plethora of sinful scenarios that were playing in the back of your mind. 
Changbin’s ears flickered before he was fixing his eyes on you again, so you took it as a sign to speak. “You think I could… go out for a walk?”
He uncrossed his arms so he could lean back on his hands, once again, making you absolutely struggle to keep your eyes on his face and not on whatever was going on between his legs. “You want to?”
You just nodded in response, nervously tapping on the floor one of the bones you held in your hand.
“Then you can”, he replied simply.
“I can?” You didn’t mean to sound incredulous, but you supposed his nonchalance did take you by surprise.
“‘Course. If you want to, you can”.
“You don’t mind?”
Changbin blinked slowly at you for a moment, before his eyebrows furrowed. “Why would I mind?”
“Dunno… I thought you… thought you might”.
“Why did you think that?”
Huh, good question… Why would you think that?
You supposed there was a part of you that had just kind of… assumed he’d mind. But you realised then that he’d never really said anything about it.
He’d only ever asked you to stay when someone else came into the Labyrinth, and you supposed it made sense he would if he cared for your safety. Which you were pretty sure he did, considering all he’d done for you so far… So you just offered him a smile and a slight shake of your head. 
“Ah, it’s nothing…” You stood up from the floor and wiped your hands on your chiton. “‘Suppose I’ll be back in a bit…”
Changbin just hummed to acknowledge you, but didn’t say anything else, so you made your way to the entrance of the room.
When you finally reached it, you stopped. As you looked at the corridor outside of the circle-shaped area that made Changbin’s den, you couldn’t help but feel your stomach sink. No matter where you looked, left or right, the way was seemingly endless. Every direction looked almost the same–save for the few paintings on the walls and the different textures on the floor.
If you left for a walk, would you be able to find your way back? You honestly weren’t too sure, and, truly… you wanted to come back. You were sure there was no better place to be inside the Labyrinth other than here, with Changbin.
So you turned around, finding the beast himself looking at you. 
His tail swayed calmly behind him, his ears occasionally flickered, but, for the most part, he looked serene, sitting there on the floor where he’d been just before you stood up yourself.
“Would you… uhm…” You pinched a piece of your chiton between your fingers, and started fidgeting with it, looking in his overall direction but not really looking at him. “Would you like to come with me?”
You finally looked at his face. There was a small smile on his lips, and it honestly made your heart flutter. “Y’know I’ll find you if you get lost, right?”
No.
No, you didn’t know that.
You didn’t know he’d go out of his way to find you if you disappeared. You knew that he cared about what happened to you to some degree, but enough to look for you if you got lost? Even if it could potentially take days?
If you thought about it, maybe that, too, made sense. Maybe he enjoyed your presence just as much as you did his.
Licking your lips, you let go of that bit of fabric you’d been rolling between your fingers. “Would you come with me anyway?”
With a huff, Changbin stood up from the ground. He wiped his hands on his thighs, just before he walked to stand next to you. That was a good enough answer for you.
So, you finally stepped out into the corridor, and Changbin followed soon after.
The farther you tried to look, the more anxiety seemed to pool in your stomach. If the Labyrinth had made you claustrophobic when you first stepped in it, right now, leaving Changbin’s den, you felt haunted with agoraphobia. 
The corridors were endless, the ceiling felt like it was way too high–unlikely, since it was pretty much the same height as it was inside the den…–and the fact that you couldn’t see the first turn in either direction you looked had your head spinning. So you turned back to Changbin.
“Is there any place you like? If there is, I’d like you to show me”.
Changbin just nodded, and started walking. You followed him from closely behind, nervously looking over your shoulder sometimes, but, for the most part, you tried to focus on the drawings on the walls, or the flashes of nature around you.
It was quiet, save for the flicker of the eternal fire and the thumps produced with each step Changbin took. They weren’t as loud as they’d been the first time you heard him, probably because he was walking very, very slowly.
Even if he was walking slowly, though, you were starting to get out of breath from trying to keep up with the steps his long legs could take. One of Chanbin’s steps could’ve very well been ten of yours…
You weren’t sure how many turns you took, you simply followed him wherever he would go, asking for a few pauses sometimes when you felt like you needed to catch your breath.
There were parts of the Labyrinth that were dimmer than others. As Changbin explained to you, it was either because someone had taken a torch off its support on the wall and never returned it, or he himself had moved the torches somewhere else.
When you asked him why he’d moved them, he just said he’d get bored, and just found some entertainment in moving things around. Fair enough, you guessed…
Both of you finally came to a full stop in front of a tree. A big, very old-looking one. There was a patch of grass all around it, and it was almost tall enough to reach the ceiling. The hole above it surely provided enough light and water for the tree to thrive even down here. 
“This is a place I like. Birds come in here sometimes. They keep me company”, Changbin plopped down at the base of the tree and leaned on it. While he looked at you, he patted the grass in front of him, right between his legs.
Your body reacted before your mind could, and, almost instinctively, you found yourself sitting on the grass and snuggled against his chest. He just wrapped his arms around your frame and kept you close, like he often did. 
Soon enough, birds started coming in from the hole high above your heads, and you simply closed your eyes and started to hum a melody to accompany their chirping. You could certainly understand why he’d like being in a place like this, it was peaceful.
“You…” Changbin mumbled after a while, while he softly traced shapes on your arm with his thumb. “You used to pray, didn’t you?”
Your eyebrows furrowed, just before you pulled yourself away from his embrace to look him in the eyes. There was a bird perched on one of his horns already, picking at his hair, but he seemed unbothered by it.
“How’d you… How do you know that?” No one knew you prayed. In fact, you hadn’t prayed in a long, long time. It used to bring you comfort, maybe even hope, but that, too, had been crushed by the heavy weight of reality many moons ago.
Changbin looked up at the hole in the ceiling, which was covered by iron rods. His gaze was fixed on it for a while, and he remained quiet for a bit.
“I think I used to hear you pray”, his eyes were on yours again, and you suddenly felt your cheeks heating up at the attention. “You used to sing, too. Hum, like you did just now… The birds back then used to tell me you brought them food”.
The site you prayed at was incredibly far from where you’d been dropped into the Labyrinth. You knew this place was huge, but you honestly hadn’t realised just how much until this very moment.
“You stopped coming, though”, Changbin looked at you in a way that made you feel almost like he knew… “Was it because of him?”
Please! Don’t hurt me!
The memory was fresh, it wasn’t one you could just forget. Your husband… he wasn’t fond of the Gods, especially not the ones you prayed to. After all, you were praying in hopes they’d just… do something.
When law enforcement didn’t pay attention to you, you had turned to your faith for help.
But they, too, had failed you.
When your husband found out you’d been going to that specific place in the forest to pray, that you had your own humble shrine in there, he made absolutely sure you never returned. The place was now riddled with memories of nothing but pain, sorrow…
You felt a knot swell in your throat, out of fury more than anything else. You refused to let tears fall, though. The damage was done already, and even if you felt infuriated by how unjust everything that happened back then had been, the nightmare was over, and you had no one to thank but yourself for it.
Looking at Changbin, you nodded, just to let him know that it had been, in fact, because of him that you’d stopped going to pray to the forest currently above your heads.
“Even back then… I felt like it was unfair”, Changbin’s eyes jumped all over your face, while his thumb kept caressing the skin of your arm.
“It was”, you replied simply, looking up at him from where you were sitting between his legs. “But it’s no longer a problem. It’s stopped now”.
The bird that had been picking at Changbin’s hair finally flew away when he nodded. You looked him in the eyes for a while longer, until you finally leaned into him once again, and rested your head on his chest, right over his heart.
Thump… Thump… Thump… Thump… Thump…
The gentle rhythm vibrated against your ear, and, right then and there, you knew that it had all truly stopped. You were safe. It was, definitely, no longer a problem. In a way, you’d made sure of that…
You both stayed under that tree for a long time that afternoon, until you asked Changbin to show you anywhere else he liked before you made it back to the den.
Without saying a word, he effortlessly picked you up from the ground, and took you in his arms, making you all flustered when he offered you a ‘Tiny legs. Makes you slow…’ which you supposed you couldn’t argue with. To him, your legs were surely tiny, especially when compared to his own.
When you were back at Changbin’s den, you were tired, so you quickly washed up before you had dinner. Seared fish–courtesy of the eternal fire from one of the torches–with an assortment of fruits that somehow worked together, finished off with the corresponding pile of laurel leaves Changbin liked to chew on often–a habit which you yourself had picked up overtime.
It wasn’t long until you found yourself in Changbin’s nest, surrounded by soft fabric and his warmth. Cuddling had become one of your favourite winding down activities, and you certainly liked to do it for as long as you could. There was something about the closeness to someone else that felt… fulfilling. And you’d never truly felt this close to someone in your life.
Oftentimes, while cuddling, you also found yourself having the most profound conversations with Changbin. Either you or him–or both–would start bearing their hearts out for the other, and it was… nice.
Regardless of what you spoke about, it was nice.
“You…” Changbin mumbled, burying his fingers in your hair to gently caress your scalp. “Why’d they drop you here?”
You took a deep breath, mindlessly playing with the thick fur in the middle of his chest. “I took someone’s life…”
Changbin hummed, nuzzling your forehead with his nose. It was moist against your skin, but you didn’t mind.
“My husband…” You started, stilling the movement of your fingers in his fur to instead lay your hand on his chest. “I was just… I tried to get help. Every time he hurt me, I tried to get help. So, so many times… but no one listened. One night, he was trying to force himself on me and I just… took one of those hideous stone busts he kept around the house and I… hit him in the head”.
The memory wasn’t pleasant. You still remembered the first moment of shock, when you stared at his limp body on the floor. You remembered the blood, how it started to pool and stain that equally hideous rug he’d purchased for way too much money. You remembered the mess left behind when you tried to move your husband’s body out of the house so you could hide it in the forest…
But you were caught.
You were caught and no matter how much you explained what had happened, no one believed you.
“So I was sentenced to die”, you looked away from his chest to look him in the eyes. They seemed to be sparkling under the moonlight shining on you both. His eyes… They were gentle, and had the prettiest shade of brown you’d ever seen. “I should be dead by now. They were expecting you to kill me”.
Changbin’s eyes flickered between yours. They danced around your face for a moment, until they settled on your mouth. “I couldn’t. Don’t want to, either”.
“I know”, you mumbled simply. Bringing a hand to his face, you started tracing his features, his eyebrows, his nose, his cheeks… Changbin just closed his eyes as soon as your fingertips were on his skin, and his ears flickered happily as you did. “You’re way more than the beast people make you out to be”.
“You think so?” He asked it in a way that made it seem like he genuinely cared about what you had to say, like your opinion was valuable to him.
You hummed in confirmation, nodding slowly, because you truly meant it. Changbin was a bit of a brute, he was very capable of harming you, but he was also capable of being so incredibly gentle. Like he’d been with the injured bird he’d brought to his den many months ago. Like he’d been with you when he tended to your wounds when he brought you in here, or when you were shivering from the cold…
“Changbin…” You broke the silence after a while, placing your hand on his cheek and stroking the skin with your thumb. “Do you know what a kiss is?”
Changbin opened his eyes then, offering you an almost shy nod of his head.
“Have you kissed anyone before?” You placed your free hand on his chest, right over his heart. It was beating so incredibly fast… It was almost like you could feel every thump penetrate into your palm and rattle your insides.
Changbin shook his head, fixing his eyes on your mouth once again.
You licked your lips, almost absentmindedly. He was so close, and so warm, and you just… wanted him. “Would you like to?”
Changbin nodded again, so you just went for it.
Slowly, you leaned in, brushing your lips softly against his for a moment before you connected them fully. It was almost shy, just a tender peck on his lips, but it was a kiss nonetheless.
You pulled back a bit to look him in the eyes. Sparkly… Even more so than before. In an instant, his hand was at your waist, pulling you closer against his body as he leaned in to kiss you again.
It was slow, gentle, and it made your heart flutter. His lips slotted so perfectly with yours, you couldn’t even believe you’d ever kissed anyone else. So many kisses wasted, when you could’ve been giving them to him instead…
Tentatively, your tongue made contact with his bottom lip. He seemed to get the hint, since he parted his lips to let you in. With your arms around his neck, you kissed him deeply. He kissed you deeply.
At this very moment, there was nothing else in the world that wasn’t you and Changbin. The only thing that mattered was him and you in his nest, slowly getting your mouths acquainted with one another.
You didn’t know how long you spent right there, but you also didn’t care. By the time the moon had moved around in the sky and left you in partial darkness in Changbin’s den, you could already feel him poking your stomach.
The feeling of him, hard against your belly, set your insides alight.
You’d known for a long time, you’d been trying to ignore it, but you couldn’t do that any longer… You really wanted Changbin. Carnally. Like you’d want any other person.
His hands… His big, warm hands roamed your back, your rear, your thighs… It was like he wanted to make sure no part of your body was left untouched–at least the ones he currently had access to over your clothes. The kiss was turning sloppier and sloppier by the second, and, in no time, low bellows were resonating from Changbin’s chest.
It was just when you carded your fingers through his hair that he stiffened, fixing his hands on your waist and gripping you tightly to stop the grind of your hips you hadn’t even realised you’d started doing. 
When had he laid on his back? When had you straddled his waist? You were so lost in your kiss you hadn’t even noticed…
He pulled back fully, offering you an apologetic look while he brought his thumb to your bottom lip and swiped it over the swollen skin.
“Someone’s entered the Labyrinth…” Changbin mumbled, so quietly you wouldn’t have heard him if you hadn’t been so close.
You pouted sadly, but nodded in understanding. With one final peck on his lips, you finally rolled off of him and onto the plush nest, where you curled into yourself as you watched him get up.
Changbin bent down to kiss your forehead. He brushed his textured nose tenderly against yours for a moment, just before he threw your makeshift blanket over your body.
“I’ll be back in a few days. Hm?”
You simply nodded again, feeling your eyes growing heavier as sleep started to cling to your muscles. 
After one final smile, Changbin finally turned around and made his way out of his den. 
You couldn’t help but sneak a glance at him before he left, and, Gods… You really, really wanted him…
As you let your hand find its way between your legs, and even in your sleepy state, you couldn’t help but fully come face to face with the realisation that you wanted him, more than you’d ever wanted anyone else before.
With the tingles of pleasure you were coaxing from your centre that spread to all of your limbs, your mind wandered, trying to figure out just how you could… take him.
You had to find a way. You were determined to find a way.
You didn’t know how you’d do it, but you were certain you would.
Eventually, you would.
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Changbin was taking longer than usual to come back from his last outing, and it was starting to worry you.
The first couple of days went by as usual. You washed any garments of clothing you’d collected over time, you tended to any of Changbin’s friends–meaning, the birds that would come from the surface–whenever they dropped by, or you simply spent it brainstorming all the possible ways in which you could pleasure such a monstrous cock.
Not only that, but how you could get pleasure from that monstrous cock. Because you were set on making the most of it. Gone were the days in which you shied away from your desires. You were a living being with needs, and if you couldn’t fulfil those needs with a literal giant half-bull, half-man creature, you were sure you wouldn’t have been able to do it with anyone else.
Besides, though, you didn’t want anyone else. 
And it wasn’t the fact that you were living in the Labyrinth and couldn’t even meet other human beings. What you felt for Changbin was something you’d never felt before. You genuinely cared about him… You cared a lot.
Which was why, by the fifth day he hadn’t returned to the den, you had bitten all ten of your nails almost to the flesh.
Where was he?
You were convinced it was pretty much impossible for him to get lost inside the Labyrinth, but what if he had?
Or worse…
What if whoever had been dropped in here hurt him?
What if he was hurt and you couldn’t help him?
Oh, Gods… 
What if he was dead?
Your chest felt heavy, you could barely breathe… What would you do without Changbin? You could definitely survive with all the resources you had here, but the question was… did you want to?
What was the point of staying alive inside the Labyrinth without him?
You wanted to cry just thinking about it. 
Tears were pricking your eyes, and it felt like your throat was closing up. 
At least, until…
Thump…
Thump…
Thump…
Thump…
You pretty much jumped from where you’d been sitting on the floor, sprinted out of the den and into the corridor. At this point, you could recognise Changbin’s heavy steps like your own heartbeat.
Looking left and right, you were unsure where exactly he was coming from, since the echo seemed to be coming from every direction. After a few moments of panic, you finally saw him to your left, so you ran.
You barely heard him saying your name when you were close, you were too focused on getting to him. When you buried your face in his stomach, he immediately started to caress your hair.
“Shh, hey…” He mumbled, dropping whatever he had in his free hand so he could press his palm on your back. “Don’t cry”.
You were sobbing, and you hadn’t even realised it until he had pointed it out.
When you pulled away, you could barely see him through your blurry vision. With one of his knuckles, he gently wiped the tears running down your cheeks.
It was only then that you noticed them, the cuts and gashes that littered his whole torso. The sight had adrenaline rushing into your body immediately.
“Oh, my dear Gods! What happened to you?!”
“Kid was resilient”, was all he said when he pulled himself away from your hold. He bent down–with seemingly great effort–and took the bag that he’d dropped on the ground. “C’mon, need to… to lay down. Will tell you everything after…”
You took the bag from him immediately, and wrapped your free hand around one of his fingers to gently tug him forward–as if that would do anything…
It took several minutes for both of you to reach the den once again. As soon as you were inside, Changbin pretty much collapsed on the ground, and started instructing you to bring him all sorts of herbs from his garden along with some fresh water.
You got to work, following Changbin’s directions to clean him up, apply the freshly chewed mix of leaves on the open wounds, and dress them with whichever extra pieces of fabric you could find laying around. As you did this, he told you about the young man that had entered the Labyrinth. 
Apparently, he was skilled enough to not only hurt Changbin, but also to essentially defeat him.
“All these years, no one has ever come this close to killing me…”
The concept of Changbin being killed made your heart ache, but you pushed the feeling away as you tried to focus on the task at hand, as well as to continue listening to him. 
The young man had spared him. He’d told Changbin that he’d come into the Labyrinth out of his own free will because he was looking for something. 
“Told him I’d help him find it if he let me live”, Changbin said once you’d finished dressing his wounds and he’d finally laid down on your nest.
“And? Did you?” You asked as you gathered two heavy jugs of fresh water to bring them to him. After all, two jugs were pretty much two glasses of water for him…
Changbin drank both jugs one after the other, each one in one gulp, offering a quiet ‘Thank you’ before he answered your question. “Yeah. Pointed him in the right direction, told him how to find the way to the spot he was looking for…”
You laid down next to him, and snuggled yourself as close as you could. Changbin pulled you even closer, and only then did he seem to fully relax, practically melting into your nest.
“He wanted me to go with him… But I was too hurt”, he mumbled against your hair, sounding just so incredibly tired. “Also… I had to come home. Needed to be here with you…”
You felt tears well in your eyes again. Holding him tight–being careful to not apply too much pressure on his wounds–you craned your neck, just so you could press a lingering kiss on his cheek.
Changbin exhaled a shaky breath with the motion, and, after pressing a few more pecks on his skin, you finally laid your head on his chest.
“Welcome home…” The words came out of your mouth as barely a whisper, mostly because you didn’t trust your voice right now. You were already feeling your whole body trembling as the tears started to fall again.
Changbin held you tight, pressing a final kiss on the crown of your head.
“Missed you, tiny human…” was the last thing to come out of his mouth before he passed out.
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Caring for an injured giant was easier than you had expected it to be. Although, you’d admit that helping him wash up was a bit hard.
Not because you had to provide any sort of support when he got into a pond or anything like that, but mostly because Changbin insisted that he needed you in there with him.
He got extra whiny about it, but you didn’t let him coax you into it. Not because you didn’t want to, but because, if you did get naked with him in the water, you knew you’d get distracted and his wounds could suffer the consequences.
After a few days, he seemed to have regained most of his strength, and the cuts scattered over his body were healing nicely. Even then, he kept insisting he needed you to help him.
“If you want to see me naked, just say so”, you couldn’t hold that back any longer. The words just flew past your lips, and you knew they’d had the desired effect as soon as you saw the pink tint on his cheeks.
“I don’t–I mean, I do, but it’s not–” He was tumbling over his words, and it was absolutely adorable. 
You stood up from where you’d been sitting cross-legged by the edge of the pond, and started toying with the belt of your chiton. He went quiet immediately, and his eyes zeroed in on the way you played with the fabric between your fingertips.
“Do you want to see me naked, Changbin?”
He blinked slowly for a moment, and his ears flickered cutely. “Maybe…”
“Maybe?” You untied the knot, and the garment immediately loosened.
You saw him swallow. His gaze remained fixed on your belt, like he was trying to somehow make it disappear completely. 
“Changbin?” You called him again, and his eyes snapped back up to meet yours, giving you his undivided attention. “Do you want to?”
Changbin stared at you for a moment before he nodded. That tiny movement, coupled with the light blush on his cheeks made you feel… empowered. Which was something you had never really felt before in this context.
You’d heard other people tell you about it, you’d read about it in the romance novels you used to read, but you had never truly experienced it. That feeling, coupled with how pliant a literal giant like Changbin got when you so much hinted at being naked, filled you with confidence.
So you removed your clothes, and slowly, you went into the pond.
Changbin was sitting on the ground, which made it so you were almost at eye level with him. You could practically feel his eyes all over your body, leaving an almost searing sensation on your skin. 
When you finally stood in front of him, his hands found your waist. Changbin pulled you closer, so your bodies could be flush to each other. With your arms around his neck, you leaned in for a kiss.
He held you tightly, but gently. You knew he was well aware of his strength, and you knew he liked to be careful so as to not hurt you, which you certainly appreciated.
When you pulled back from the kiss, Changbin brushed your nose against yours, making you giggle. As usual, it was moist, but you didn’t mind.
“You’re pretty”, he whispered the words against your shoulder, where he was pressing lingering kisses on your skin–being extra careful not to poke you with his horns.
“And you’re very handsome”, you replied simply, because it was the truth. Months ago, you hadn’t even known someone like him could exist, and here you were now, absolutely smitten by what most would consider an oddity.
“You think so?” He mumbled absentmindedly, dragging his hands all over your back. His large hands…
“Mm… I do think so”.
He pulled away so he could look at you. A smile had spread across his face, making his eyes turn into little crescents. It always made your heart flutter whenever he smiled, and it was certainly a contagious gesture.
Changbin kissed your cheek once, twice, thrice more, before he was speaking again. 
“Y’know… I haven’t… I’ve never…” He sighed, frowning before he shook his head and started all over again. “Want to make you feel good, but I don’t know how”.
Your eyes widened a bit. Not because you didn’t know that he wouldn’t know how to make you feel good, but because he seemed to genuinely care about it.
“I can show you”, you caressed his shoulders briefly before you cupped his cheeks. “Then you can show me how to make you feel good, hm?”
Changbin nodded, rather enthusiastically, and it made you smile.
“There are… many places you can touch to make me feel good”, you dragged your hands down his arms, until you reached his hands and pulled them away from your back. “For example, here…”
You brought his hands to your chest, and he reflexively squeezed the flesh. “That feels nice, but… touch here”.
Taking a hold of one of his fingers, you guided it to your nipple. The rough pad of his fingertip dragging over the sensitive skin immediately had a shiver running up and down your spine. 
He seemed to catch on very quickly, because the moment you let go of his hands, he immediately started to stimulate your chest. Between his motions and the cool water around you, your nipples stiffened further, and the first whimper came out of your mouth.
Changbin looked at you for a moment, like he was unsure if he had done something wrong, so you immediately reassured him.
“That’s good… Feels good”.
“Feels good?” He asked, adding a bit more pressure.
You nodded in confirmation, and then took a hold of his wrists. “Pinch them harder between your fingers”.
“Don’t wanna hurt you, though”, he sounded genuinely worried about it, which would’ve made you heart melt in other circumstances, but in these circumstances, you needed him to give you all he had–or, at least, all you could stand.
“Do it gradually, I’ll let you know ‘til when. Trust me?”
Changbin nodded, and immediately obliged. As soon as he reached the pressure that was just perfect, you let him know–in quite possibly the most desperate tone you’d ever mustered.
Your lips were on his thereafter. He tugged and pulled and stimulated your nipples in ways that had you moaning into his mouth, that seemed to be coaxing inhuman noises from deep within him.
Your centre was throbbing, desperate for some attention, so you pulled away from the kiss. You were met with Changbin’s blown pupils and flushed cheeks, a sight so incredibly delectable you started to seriously entertain the impossible. Would he fit…?
“Here, too”, you took a hold of one of his hands and brought it between your thighs, giving him enough space to manoeuvre. “You feel that bump?”
When the pad of his finger made contact with your clit you almost jolted in place, but you tried to stay focused as best as you could. 
“Rub in circles. Gently”.
He complied, following the same motions as before, increasing the speed and pressure until you told him exactly how you liked it to be. 
It all became a blur of moans and pants and bellows… All you could feel was the pleasure coursing through your body and Changbin’s warmth all around you. His teeth, his tongue, his lips, his fingers… He was working you up diligently, bringing you closer to the edge.
“So good…” You whimpered against his lips, just before your tongues were intertwined again.
Changbin nodded, almost mindlessly. 
When you’d finally reached your climax, you did so with his name on your tongue. Repeating it over and over again like it was the only word you knew in this world.
You’d found pleasure on your own many, many times, but it’d never felt like this. You weren’t sure if it was the weight of your feelings for him, or if it’d been the thrill of having this experience with Changbin for the first time, but the way that orgasm seemed to be consuming every single one of your senses was absolutely mind-blowing.
He didn’t stop working you up until you asked him to. As soon as he did, you wrapped your arms around his neck and leaned your weight on him for support. Changbin held you tightly, lovingly caressing your back and pressing kisses on your shoulder as you caught your breath.
“Prettiest sounds I’ve ever heard…” He mumbled against your skin, and it made you laugh.
You felt light, like tonnes had just been lifted off of your shoulders. When you pulled away, you cupped his cheeks, and started peppering kisses all over his face, which made him giggle. So adorably you felt your heart swell in your chest.
“Now…” With one final kiss on his lips, you placed your hands on his chest, squishing the soft muscle. “You show me”.
A smirk made its way onto his lips, and after taking one of your hands, he moved it away from his chest to let it sink further underwater, until it met the warm, smooth skin of his length. He left your other hand on his chest, but instead of just letting it rest there, he guided your fingers to one of his nipples so you could gently rub your fingertip against it and play with the jewellery.
“I’ll show you”, he emphasised his words by using his hand to coax your hold around his cock to tighten. Your fingers didn’t even meet as you held him, and the thought, along with the feel, made you feel dizzy with arousal. “Will show you anything. Everything…”
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‘You think this could… fit you?’ Changbin had shyly asked you a couple of weeks ago, when he offered you one of the silver hoops he usually wore on one of his horns. Where he got the idea to do that was beyond you, but it honestly didn’t matter, it made you giddy all the same.
It did fit–as an armlet, at least. It was purely material and maybe even a bit vain, but having this item on you at all times simply made you feel tingly. It made your heart swell in your chest and it had butterflies fluttering in your belly.
It felt significant, in a way. Kind of like… like your own version of a wedding band.
In the past, you had never been excited about being a bride, or about being someone’s wife. But you realised things could change. 
Changbin had certainly changed you. You would’ve never imagined that your death sentence would be the thing to actually help you feel alive, and yet, that was exactly what had happened to you. 
Did you sometimes have bouts of fury and rage because of how unfair everything that you’d gone through had been?
Yes.
Did you want all those officials to die a very painful death for judging you the way they did?
Also yes.
But at least, here, you found your place. You found love.
Because you loved Changbin. Horns and tail and hooves and all. Even with his annoyingly big cock that you knew you’d never be able to fit inside you without tearing you in half, even then, you loved him. Truly. 
It took only a visit from that young man he had encountered months ago for you to fully realise it.
He’d appeared out of nowhere, on a random day. Changbin had put himself between you and the young man, but the boy wasn’t a real threat, he’d come just to ask for help to find something else within the Labyrinth.
It was over supper that he’d talked to you, right there in front of Changbin. 
‘Don’t you want to go back to the surface? I know a way out…’
You could still remember how Changbin’s tail started to thrash anxiously behind him, but he didn’t say anything. He’d just fixed his eyes on the floor, slowly chewing his food. He didn’t interrupt or even attempt to divert the conversation. Back then, at least to you, it felt like he was getting ready to accept whichever decision you took.
‘Why would I go back? This is my home. There’s nothing up there for me’.
And when you’d said it, you truly meant it.
This was your home… but it wasn’t the Labyrinth.
It was all Changbin.
You’d wandered the Labyrinth together for a few days after that, helping that young man look for the mysterious artefact he needed. It’d been an adventure for sure…
When you were back in your cosy den after that little adventure, Changbin had given you the thick hoop, your armlet. You’d gotten so used to wearing it, you sometimes forgot you had it on.
At least, until you caught a glimpse of it in your peripheral vision, like you did just now. Somehow, the reminder of its existence further fed the fire that was burning bright in the pit of your stomach. 
The feel of Changbin’s hands on your hips, gripping you tightly–as tight as he knew your body could handle–made you moan. The feel of him, hard and warm against your folds had your mind all fogged up and hazy, especially when he was under you like this, guiding the movement of your hips to increase the pressure of your centre grinding against his bare length, trapping it between your core and his abdomen.
“Mmm… fuck…” He whined under his breath, staring at the place your bodies connected, at the way your slick cunt dragged against his cock.
You nodded in agreement, rather eagerly, because you couldn’t bring yourself to say anything. Not when the way you were essentially humping him felt this incredibly good.
With your hands on his chest, both for support and so you could play with his nipples in just the way he loved so much, you chased that sweet, sweet relief that’d been steadily growing closer to you since you sat on him however long ago. The pressure on your clit was just absolutely perfect like this, especially when he was pushing you down and assisting your own movement.
“Changbin, darling, I’m… fuck, want to…” You could barely speak, but you knew he understood you perfectly, because he had you moving faster, he pushed you down harder, making your eyes roll to the back of your head.
Before you knew it, you were trembling with your release. The only thing keeping you from collapsing was Changbin’s tight hold, but you still tried your best to keep moving, to keep providing him with as much pleasure as you could.
With a broken plea of your name, the first of many shots of thick cum spouted from the tip of his cock. The results of his orgasm’s were, of course, proportional to his size. He always seemed to produce bucket-loads of cum whenever he came, drenching his whole torso, and you in the process.
Changbin looked so, so pretty like this. Flushed, whining, bellowing, desperately rutting into you to make the most out of his release. You didn’t care that you were close to the point of oversensitivity, you just wanted to continue seeing him like this for as long as it lasted.
When the final spurt of cum landed on his abdomen, the tight grip he had on your hips loosened. The lack of his support made it so that you simply collapsed on top of him, gasping for air. 
Oh, how fulfilling it was to hear his increased heartbeat against your ear, to feel his warm cum sticking to you…
You both laid there for a moment, just enjoying the feel of one another and catching your breaths. 
Changbin had to act a bit quickly after coming, though. Otherwise his cock would retreat into its sheath covered in his drying cum, which could not only become a gross mess, but also cause him real, painful problems the next time he got hard.
So as soon as he regained his strength, he was moving, carrying you in his arms and getting you both inside the nearest pond to get cleaned up. 
You always helped him, of course. Just like he helped you.
Getting to bathe each other felt intimate, like a bonding experience, so you enjoyed it. 
You barely spoke to each other during these moments. You just took the time to further enjoy the other’s body in a more profound way. 
It wasn’t until you were out of that pond, dry, in a fresh set of clothes, and huddled together in your cosy nest that he was finally speaking again.
“I really like it when we do it like that…” He mumbled against your hair, softly dragging his fingertips on your back.
You chuckled softly, pressing a soft peck on his collarbone. “Is it better than when you fuck my thighs?”
Changbin inhaled sharply, placing his free hand on your bum. “It’s different. It’s easier to come together this way”. 
You hummed, smiling in amusement at the comment. 
There was silence for a while, but you knew he was awake. If he hadn’t been, the soft caresses on your back would’ve stopped already.
The armlet shone in your peripheral vision, and you were reminded once again that this was your home. That you belonged here.
“Changbin?”
He hummed to let you know he was listening, not stopping the movement of his hands.
“Why didn’t you kill me when you found me wandering the Labyrinth?”
Changbin was quiet for a while, until he nuzzled your hair before he placed a kiss on the top of your head. 
“I recognised your voice”, he replied simply. “You fed my friends. You didn’t have to, but you did it anyway. They always appreciated it, and I couldn’t help but appreciate it, too”.
You pulled yourself away from his hold a bit, enough to look him in the eyes. “Can you imagine if I’d never spoken in the forest? Or if I never fed the birds? You would’ve eaten me”.
He frowned. “Don’t wanna think about that. Besides, you did do it. Why think about the past like that?”
You smiled at him, just before you pressed a quick peck on his lips.
As you buried your face further in the crook of his neck, and started to feel the pull of sleep on your body, you figured Changbin was right.
There was no point in thinking about the past. No point in dwelling on the what-ifs. The only thing that mattered was the present, and the future you hoped to have with him here, in your home.
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Author’s Note x2: i came into this expecting this story to be nothing but filth and a horny mess, not... whatever this ended up being. it definitely didn’t go the way i thought it was going to go when i had originally read that ask, but, y’know… the little lizard in my brain just does whatever it wants. i’m happy with it, and, if you made it this far, i hope you enjoyed it, too.  especial thanks to @notastraykid and @channieskies for reading this before anyone else and for giving me their valuable opinions and suggestions.
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trblsvt · 1 year
Text
the long way | yoon jeonghan
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summary | it was just like any other shoot. go in, pose, drink water, don't get food on the clothes, and don't joke around with the staff. easy. except it wasn't that easy. genre | just fluff, model!jeonghan warnings | swearing (?), like one innuendo word count | 2.2k words pairing | yoon jeonghan x gn!reader min | lowercase intended @i-luvsang likes to torture me with this concept so here it is. you're welcome. i may have diverged a little from your original concept... i actually don't think there's any language in here. i tried to make this gender-neutral, but if anyone finds a fem!reader pronoun please let me know!
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jeonghan liked his job. really, he did. what was there to complain about it? it was an easy, not to mention, fun life. he liked traveling. he liked the different foods he got to try. he liked the nice clothes he got to wear during photoshoots. he would be lying if he said he never stole some of the clothes that he got to wear. he especially enjoyed chatting with the staff.
they were usually amiable with him and entertained his antics. sometimes he even got a genuine laugh out of a few photographers too.
but sometimes, just chatting was boring. especially when the conversations were cut short by photographers calling him back to get a few more shots or make-up artists coming up to him to touch up his make-up. so jokes in between shots and lipstick touch-ups were a must.
today was no different. he had to advertise for the brand that he was an ambassador for, and he was thoroughly enjoying himself. the clothes were comfortable, the air temperature was just right, and his audience was readily accepting of his jokes.
half of the time he couldn't remember the point of his jokes. he just said whatever came to mind. sometimes he was monologuing his thoughts and people would laugh. it did boost his ego, though. his inner voice was funny enough to garner laughs without even trying
as jeonghan was setting up for another shot, the photographer asked him to fix his stance. "i need you to spread your legs a bit more, jeonghan," the photographer asked. jeonghan had worked with him a few times, so he felt comfortable cracking a slightly inappropriate joke. "wow, mingyu, i thought you'd ask me out on a date first. already trying to get between my legs," jeonghan chuckled, fixing his stance. mingyu only rolled his eyes and went back to adjusting his camera settings.
that joke got a few laughs.
but it was jeonghan. he needed at least seventy-five percent of the staff to laugh at least one of his jokes. what else was he supposed to do when he was there? stand there and look good, yes, but no.
besides, he needed to test his standup on a live unsuspecting audience.
so that's how the rest of the shoot went. jeonghan finding ways to make puns here and throw a few sexual innuendos there. he appeared to be a hit, and that's all he wanted.
that is until he made some half-assed joke that he didn't even think about when he heard something. something so.... attractive. a laugh. from someone who had not laughed at his jokes until the lamest one he had cracked all day. he glanced over his shoulder in the direction that he heard it and his eyes landed on you. you were covering your face with a hand while the other clutched a tray of drinks and a binder tucked under your arm.
he made eye contact and quirked an eyebrow at you. you instantly averted your gaze to the ground and fumbled around for your phone.
cute, he thought.
he needed to hear it again.
for the remaining hour on set he tried and tried to get to you laugh again, but much to his dismay you were on the phone for most of the time.
soon enough he was out of the clothes and into his regular day clothes. the stylist quickly removed the extravagant make-up, and he swiftly grabbed his bag so he could find you.
as he ran out of the dressing room and onto the set. he scanned the room in search of you, and caught a glimpse of your silhouette walking out the door toward the city and not toward the back where the cars were. "jeonghan, are you coming?" his manager called to him. "the car is waiting." jeonghan shook his head and watched as the door closed behind you. "i'm actually going to walk home today. this was the last activity scheduled today, right?" jeonghan stated. even if it wasn't the last thing he had to do today, he had more important things in mind.
"uh, yes, that's all. but are sure you want to walk alone?" his manager questioned.
"i think bringing people with me garners more attention than me just walking by myself," he shrugged. so with that he swung his coat over his shoulders, hat on head, and left the same way you went.
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he saw the back of your head make its way through the surprisingly empty street. he checked his watch and realized that it was right before rush hour. he jogged to catch up with you.
he was so close to you now. he could probably reach out and grab your hand if he wanted to, but that would be weird. he didn't even know your name.
how could he even approach you? "hi i'm jeonghan. i thought your laugh was pretty-" wait was that too personal? too forward?
he was so deep in thought, he didn't notice the way you tensed up when he got too close. suddenly you whipped around, "are you following me?"
he paused with a wide-eyed look plastered on his face. this was not the way it was supposed to go. "well, yes. but, not- not in the weird way," he tried to clarify. he looked slightly frantic, he looked worried. you examined his distinctive features. "oh, mr. yoon. i didn't recognize you with your hat on," you laughed.
there it was.
"please, just jeonghan is fine," he assured.
"okay, just jeonghan."
ha, you were pretty witty too. he held out his hand for you to shake. "___," you introduced yourself.
amazing.
"are you on your way to anything important?" he asked after looking at you for a bit longer. you glanced down at your phone and around the street. "i was actually going back to the office to drop this off," you said motioning to the large file bag you held.
"i can accompany you, if you want," jeonghan offered. "if you're not too weirded out by me at this point."
"oh, no. i'm not weirded out. i'm just surprised. i mean, you are a model. models i usually work with don't talk with staff much," you mentioned before starting off walking again. he followed quickly behind you. "so would you say i'm different from other models you've met," he asked playfully.
"yes i suppose. for one, models don't usually joke around on set as much as you do," you noted, glancing down at your phone hoping he wouldn't notice how he was making your heart speed up. "they're a bit too serious sometimes. you were nice though."
jeonghan felt a bit proud of that.
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he filled the rest of the walk with pleasant conversation. lightly brushing against your arm. he got you to laugh about ten more times through the walk.
yes, he was counting.
you took him through the park and chatted
"well, this is me," you said standing in front of the large building. he looked up, and he instantly recognized the logo plastered on the door. "wait, you work for-" he started.
"yes, i work for the brand that you are an ambassador for," you giggled. "why else would i be at the shoot? did i not mention all the other models i've had to worked with?"
jeonghan was utterly baffled. "yes. i mean you did. i just, i don't know i wasn't really focused on that part. maybe you just wanted to see a handsome man like myself," he tried to recover.
"well, seeing handsome men like yourself is in my job description. i have to make sure our ambassadors are representing us well," you nudged his arm, and he felt like he could burst with joy.
"well i didn't expect someone as attractive as yourself would work for a place like corporate," he attempted at gaining his confidence back. it appeared to work.
you scoffed lightheartedly and looked away from him. "you flatter me too much, jeonghan," you laughed and looked back at him. suddenly you heard your name being called. "___! there you are, i've been looking for you for the past hour," your co-worker (well more like friend since you had known her since forever) called. you glanced between her and jeonghan. "hey, i'm sorry. i got a little - distracted," you explained apologetically to your obviously frazzled friend.
"really, its my fault. i must've made the walk a bit slower. the park was just so nice today," jeonghan commented, glancing at you hoping that you would look back at him again.
"the park? that's the long way around, you could've taken-" your friend started before you clasped your hands on her shoulders. "well, i seriously do have to bring this back to my manager. thank you for walking with me, it was very kind of you," you said smiling at him.
"of course," he smiled. he held your eyes for a moment before you chuckled quietly and turned away with your friend. "goodbye," he called after you.
"bye," you replied back, only turning your head slightly towards him. you exchanged hushed whispers as the two of you made your way up to the entrance. "isn't that yoon jeonghan?" your friend quizzed. "he's the one who was at the shoot you went to, right? why'd you take him through the park? you know that's the long way. it adds like fifteen minutes to your walk."
"yeah, yeah, i know, he was just so easy to talk to. i needed an excuse to talk to him longer. plus, his laugh was super cute," you remarked.
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it had been maybe an hour or two since you had said your goodbye to jeonghan downstairs. you hadn't been able to stop thinking about him. how sweet and kind he was. he wasn't too full of himself like some of the other models were, but confident enough to make your heart beat a bit faster than usual. to top it all off, he was genuinely funny too.
you weren't exactly sure how you were supposed to just - forget about him. you worked with many models for the past few years, and sure most of them were nice. just not as nice as jeonghan.
you checked the clock and realized that there were only about thirty minutes left until you could clock out. maybe if you showered when you got home you could get jeonghan's cologne out of your senses.
as you sent your last email of the day and logged out of your computer, you began to gather your things from your desk. unfortunately, you were a bit too preoccupied to notice how the room outside of your office stilled. you were grabbing a few things that fell onto the floor.
then you heard someone clear their throat from your door. "uh, ___, someone is here to see you," one of your other co-workers said.
"uh, i just clocked out, but i can definitely add them on my calendar first thing tomorr-" you trailed off as you lifted your head and saw jeonghan standing outside your office behind the very nervous-looking receptionist.
"i'm afraid that won't work for me," jeonghan sighed absentmindedly looking around your office, hands clasped behind his back.
"mina, you can go," you told the receptionist. mina nodded and ran off. jeonghan stepped into your office and gently closed the door. "this is a surprise, mr. yoon," you said standing up.
"hopefully a welcome one," he joked. "and please, i was gone for a couple hours and you forgot i'm just jeonghan?" you stifled a laugh. "please do not feel like you need to contain you laughter from me, ___," he assured. you nodded a silent, but happy, agreement. "well, jeonghan. what is the occasion for this visit? were you unhappy with something today during the shoot?" you asked, approaching him. "and if tomorrow morning does not work to discuss this matter, i can figure something else out or i-"
"no. it's actually the opposite. i had a great time today. i think my only complaint is that you have not been there for the past few times i've modeled for this brand," he said getting closer to you. you could smell his cologne again and you knew you were in for it. "also, tomorrow morning won't work because i wanted to see if you were free tonight to get dinner with me, that is, unless you prefer breakfast," he smiled.
you were dumbfounded.
jeonghan was here. after hours. asking you out on a date. he was funny, kind, and not to mention quite attractive. you had been thinking about him for the whole day daydreaming about him, and he was here looking very handsome and very sincere. and who were you to decline such a tempting offer?
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"how would you know that i would say yes?" you asked as the two of you walked out of the building.
"well for one, you didn't take the subway like a normal person would. secondly, you added a whole extra fourteen minutes to your walk because you skipped the subway and went through the park," he shrugged.
"were you counting?" you giggled and nudged his shoulder playfully.
"and what if i was? and what if i was counting every time you laughed at something i said today? what if i said that was the fifteenth time i've made you laugh today?"
"i might have to kiss you then."
"please do."
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min | wow. that was sort of disgustingly cute. am i good a fluff, maybe? im softening with age i think. leave feedback and reblog if you want! it's appreciated. not proofread
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arliedraws · 1 month
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In the books, Sirius's devotion to Harry is of course very deep, but it never translates to something physical. He only shakes Harry's end when he leaves his bedside in book 4, and in book 5 there is something resembling a hug, like twice...? As a dog he stood up his hind legs and front paws on harry's shoulders and a half hug after Christmas. Idk it sort of drives me crazy, because in the movies Harry and Sirius are so affectionate! That first hug when Harry arrives in Grimmauld!! Gary and Dan had an amazing chemistry that other actors were jealous of, they mirrored the book characters, so it palpable on screen, the few scenes Gary is in at all at least.
So, what do you make of this? Do you in musing for art imagine a more affectionate relationship between Harry and Sirius? Maybe if Sirius survived the war? Molly's hug in book 4 was a poignant moment but imo that should have been a moment between Sirius and Harry. Sirius already says he expected something catastrophic to happen to Harry in the third task, that's what he stutters when Harry comes in with Dumblebore. So he is literally afraid of his godsons life and it still shows of course, Sirius staying at Harry's side was very beautifully written, like the devotion is clear, but I am foaming at the mouth for more affection between them in canon? Platonic, not shipping. So between the movies and the books Im just kinda torn what's better
It's more a rant than an ask, sorry lol, but if you have any input I'd he so stoked to read it. Not many peeps in the fandom even give Sirius and Harry any time of day, nvrmind even understand what they had (which also drives me kinda nuts but ok)
Ohhhh, anon, you’ve come to the right spot! Mostly because I love them. I would say that 80% of my fandom interest is just Sirius being a dad to Harry.
To your question, I don’t think one is better than the other. Each has their purpose. Let me share my thoughts:
1. I am soft for movie Sirius and Harry’s affectionate touching. However. The dynamics of their relationship were NOT mirrored from the books, which…is fine. Honestly, I just don’t think it was a priority for the filmmakers. This particular bit doesn’t bother me because the movies are not supposed to replace the source material—they are an interpretation. To me, watching the movies is like reading fic—fun to watch but not canon. Also, the filmmakers removed so much of their relationship in GoF that they HAD to make Sirius and Harry physically affectionate in order for movie audiences to see what losing Sirius would mean to Harry. Their complexity is completely unexplored in the films, and they had to do SOMETHING to get the audience to feel sad when Sirius died. This started in PoA when they really downplayed the context of their relationship. (Lol, see my rant on PoA. I really don’t like that movie hahahahaha.)
2. In the books, Harry and Sirius are not physically affectionate with each other despite their intense love for each other, and I think this is an effective way to show characterization. As I tell my students, this might have been intentional by the author, but it could have been an instinct that she followed (what feels right for the characters).
Here’s what I think: both are so terrified of losing the other that they won’t allow themselves to get too close, and, crucially, they both fear showing vulnerability. Touching someone and reaching out for a hug or comfort is an extremely vulnerable thing to do. If you reach out for a hug, you are showing your true feelings. To be rejected physically is sometimes more devastating than someone telling you to just “go away.” It’s a sign of trust to touch someone—you are trusting that they feel the same way about you, and you are trusting that they won’t pull away. Both Sirius and Harry understand rejection, and both avoid it. How do you avoid rejection? You distance yourself.
I’ll put the rest under a cut because I think this might get long…
Sirius and Harry, for all that they love each other, fall out of trusting each other by OotP. Part of this is trauma, but it is also miscommunication. Harry is worried that Sirius will do something stupid—either out of concern for Harry or because he wants to get out of number 12–but he’s worried he’ll lose Sirius. So by withholding affection (which I’m not sure if he knows how to give physically), Harry distances himself from Sirius which will, theoretically, keep Sirius safe (of course, it backfires). Sirius is…you know…going through stuff in OotP. He is already vulnerable—he perceives himself as being emasculated because he’s not allowed to leave his childhood home and he’s relegated to performing ‘uninteresting, domestic work’, and he must be inactive when he’s a man OF action.
When it comes to Goblet of Fire and the odd handshake… I think Sirius is reeeeeally holding back. Harry does NOT want him to go, and Sirius knows this. (Why DOES Dumbledore send him away? Literally anyone else could have “alerted the old crowd” and NOT the convicted murderer. This is clearly the author’s excuse to get Sirius away from Harry—and, I’ve spoken to this before, Sirius is too much of a miracle character—too smart, too loyal, too loving to support the story that the author wanted to tell.) Sirius, if he had stayed, would have been the emotional support that Harry needed. So if Sirius holds Harry, what if Harry doesn’t let go? What if Sirius himself can’t let go? A handshake will have to do.
So Sirius leaves Harry with that bizarre handshake. That Sirius leaves at all damages their relationship—it could have been repaired with time (if they’d been allowed time), but this moment makes Harry realize that he cannot rely on anyone, not even Sirius. This leaves Harry to be isolated in OotP, and it leaves him to feel like he cannot trust anyone. I’m not blaming Sirius for leaving, but I believe this action causes a rift between them that carries into the next book.
My point is, I HATE that they don’t touch but it is very important that they don’t, at least when it comes to the story that the author wanted to tell. I think it was the right move when we look at the story as a whole. Do I like it? NO! But it’s interesting, and it DOES feel right for them. Is it devastating? Yes!!!!!!!
TL;DR: I don’t think either interpretation is necessarily better than the other, but they both have their purpose. Both are effective!
Touch is…huge in HP. Consider Voldemort’s “I can touch him now” and causing Harry pain. Touch is a privilege, and to be touched without permission is a violation. Harry kills someone by touching them. He is only touched by his family when Dudley beats him up or he gets shoved in his cupboard.
Weirdly, one of my absolutely favorite moments when Sirius and Harry touch is in PoA when the Dementors are closing in on Sirius, Harry, and Hermione, and Harry, as he’s about to faint, reaches out to grab an unconscious Sirius by the arm, thinking something along the lines of “the dementors weren’t going to take him” and such. And this is about two seconds after Harry has accepted that Sirius is telling the truth! Harry physically tethers Sirius to him—this touch-starved teen reaches out to this man who is now everything to him, who is now his only real family, willing to risk death (or worse) to keep it. BUT THEY JUST MET!!!!! Devastating!!!
Also…another thought: the first time Sirius and Harry touch is the first time Sirius has been touched as a human in twelve years. And Harry is beating the absolute shit out of him…and then Sirius nearly strangles him…
Also, also, not to like…self-promote, but if you want some Sirius & Harry family feelings and a wee bit of affectionate touching, I wrote a one-shot where they talk about their feelings in OotP.
Anyway, this got longer than I thought. Thank you for the prompt!!
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malleux · 8 months
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performance anxiety.
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-> lyney x fem!famous singer!reader
-> warnings: mentions of past bad relationship, anxiety, no use of y/n
-> words: 3.4k
[a/n]: this was not supposed to be this long but. not proofread, idk what universe this is in where all of these characters are friends but shut up. i just started writing, gun to my head i could not tell you what happens in this story
Applause. Roses. Adoration. Entertainment. 
You craved the effervescence of the spotlight. The thrill of being on stage. Millions of eyes are on you and you alone– coming together for the sole purpose of viewing you. 
It seemed a bit voyeuristic, but you couldn’t care less as the final notes of your song rang out across stages all over the country and applause replaced the roaring in your ears. People stood as they clapped, whooping and hollering. All for you. 
You stood before them night after night, baring the roughest edges of yourself on the stage for them all to judge. You were vulnerable to every attack possible– verbal, physical, emotional. Yet none occurred, save for the dozens of flowers that showered you every night as you completed a performance flawlessly once again. 
It was only after you made it backstage to your dressing room that you finally took a breath. A very shaky, very exhausted breath. Stagehands ran back and forth, putting up props and fixing light fixtures for someone else’s performance the next night, but they reassured you that nobody could possibly outshine you after you had christened the Opera Epiclese. 
Your first performance in Fontaine. In your hometown. 
“That was amazing!” Your manager burst through the door, a cup of water in her hands. She passes it to you. “One of your best performances yet– not that the others were bad! Quite the opposite, actually–”
“I get it. Thank you.” You chewed on your lip, gazing at yourself in the mirror. You looked frazzled up close with the stage makeup slightly smeared across your face. Not enough for the audience to notice, though. No, to them, you were perfection. “I hope they thought the same.”
“Are you kidding? You were amazing. I bet you made at least ten men think about leaving their wives for you tonight.” You cut your eyes at her, and she backtracked immediately. “I-I mean! Oh, that was such a bad analogy, wasn’t it? I’m sorry.”
“It’s fine.” 
It really wasn’t fine, but you weren’t going to make your friend-turned-manager feel any worse than she already does for bringing up the past. You weren’t married– Archons, no– but you lived a fast life that not many were equipped to handle, especially if they were staying home while you traveled Teyvat on a tour. 
Your ex couldn’t handle you and your lifestyle, so he handled others in bed instead. 
It didn’t sting as bad as you would have expected it to. You couldn’t take the time to grieve, not when there was a performance in Natlan the night you found out. Other performers and those who lived a more nomadic lifestyle had warned you about failed relationships and friendships with those who did not stay close or did not understand the busyness of traveling. You truly believed you were the exception, and now you realize that such relationships are impossible. You chose this life, thus giving up the idea of a simple love. Your friends were your manager and the crew that traveled with you, and that was that. You didn’t stay anywhere long enough to culminate true, meaningful connections with anyone. 
“Are you ready for the encore?” 
You swiped another layer of lipstick on and fluffed your hair in the mirror before turning back to your manager. 
“Born ready.” 
—---
Lyney sat on the edge of his seat for the past hour and a half and continues to do so, staring at the dark stage. 
His sister keeps a hand near his chair, just in case he somehow leans too far forward and falls out of it completely. She’ll never understand his infatuation with such a famous singer– it’s not like he had a shot with you anyway. Nevertheless, she made sure to surprise him with front-row tickets the minute she learned of your performance at Fontaine’s beloved Opera Epiclese. 
Lyney nearly cried in happiness and he’s nearly crying now, praying to every Archon above that you’re going to come out for an encore and that this isn’t the end of your show. The tears almost fall as the spotlight graces the stage once more and music fills the room. 
Everyone in Fontaine tried to get tickets for your performance and the most influential of citizens were sure to attend. Furina sat in the VIP box, leaning on her hand as she watched you step back onstage. She was quiet for once, enraptured by your voice. Clorinde was at her side. Neuvillette sat near the twins, seated but smiling. Charlotte and Navia were a bit further back, Charlotte furiously scribbling on her notepad to review the performance. She stopped writing halfway through, though, unable to stop herself from just enjoying the performance. Wriothesley and Sigewinne showed their faces from outside of the Fortress, the former succumbing to the latter’s pleas for tickets. Even Freminet was there, on the other side of Lyney, just happy to see his brother so happy. 
And yet there he was, sitting in the middle of the row, front and center. A perfect view. And there you were, in that jaw-dropping dress that sparkled perfectly in the lights, reflecting the same way the stars in the sky shined. Lyney was positive there were also stars in his eyes, but he couldn’t help it. 
And when the performance was over, Lyney finally sat back in his seat and exhaled a deep breath– one he had been holding since the minute you appeared onstage. 
Lynette looked him over as if to make sure he was okay and happy. She didn’t need any words to tell that he was over the moon. “Are you ready to go?”
“Just– just give me one minute.”
—---
“How long will you be in Fontaine?”
“Probably a week or two, at most.” You hummed, finally eating a snack left for you by the Hydro Archon herself. “It’s been a long time since I’ve been home. I’d like to stay a bit longer.” 
“Hmm,” Furina’s finger tapped her chin– a clear sign that she was thinking. About what, nobody could tell. “How about another performance before you leave? Many people didn’t get tickets to this first show. You’ve had so many supporters from here since you started. Why not give them a special thanks? Especially me, since I’ve supported you and been your friend for all these years?” 
You squinted at her for a moment, trying to decipher what she could be devising in her head. You weren’t a mind reader, and Furina didn’t necessarily all have it going on in her head, so you opted to just ask her outright. “What could you possibly gain from that?” 
She reeled back, feigning offense. “Nothing! It’s-it’s just that it’s great for business. And we’re having special visitors soon who may want to see. Totally not because I want to watch it again– heh.”
“What special visitors?”
“Why, the Traveler and Paimon, of course!” Furina clapped, “Yes, yes. They’d love to see your performance.”
“Hm.” You continued staring at her, unconvinced that the legendary Traveler wanted to see your performance. But, you did get to perform again and get a part of the profits. You didn’t see why not. “Fine.” 
The squeal that came out of Furina’s mouth was enough to almost break your glass of water– a feat many singers trained to do for years and could not accomplish. Yet, your friend was close to doing it without even trying out of sheer excitement. 
She grabbed your hand once you were done changing clothes and dragged you out of the dressing room. You had no choice but to follow as she led you into the main room, where the audience sat. It looked much different from before with the lights on and the chairs empty. 
Except for two chairs, three people still present in the opera house. 
At the sound of her voice, the three turned around. There was a pair of twins and a younger blonde boy. The twin boy made eye contact with you and seemed to shoot straight up, becoming entranced as he saw you. This was typically a normal reaction for fans, but there was one difference this time. 
You were entranced too. 
Furina looked at the three and huffed. “Isn’t it time for you to go home?”
“Sorry, Lady Furina,” The youngest boy spoke and motioned to the other boy, whose face was bright red. “Lyney just needed to sit for a minute.”
“Is he okay?” You tilted your head, gently shaking free of Furina and walking to them. Furina gasped and crossed her arms, almost angry that she didn’t have your attention anymore as your self-titled “best friend”. “Your face is hot.” 
The twin girl hid her mouth with her hand. “He’ll be okay eventually. I think he got overheated or something. Got all nauseous and dizzy.”
“Oh my Gods, I’m so sorry!” You felt awful– you had told someone that you felt the air was a bit too hot in the audience, but you were brushed off. This just proved that you were right. “You all come with me, there’s fresh water and everything in the guest house I’m staying in tonight.”
You ushered everyone out of Opera Epiclese and into the small building next to it. It was the guesthouse, built solely for performers without a place to stay as they traveled. You were given it for your time in Fontaine and couldn’t be more grateful, especially at a time like this when someone is in need. 
Lyney, Lynette, and Freminet– as you learned their names were– followed you and a pouting Furina into the house. You offered them all a seat on the couches and chairs before running to the kitchen and grabbing a bowl of cool water and a rag. You sat next to Lyney, who was silent the entire time, and neared his face as you put the rag on his forehead. You were a bit confused at Lynette and Furina’s snickering behind you, but you could only worry about the boy in front of you whose face turned even redder at your closeness. 
“Say,” Furina spoke up, “Lyney and Lynette here are performing at the Opera Epiclese tomorrow. Fancy a show?”
“Really?” You looked into Lyney’s eyes, “What do you do?”
He swallowed, and you wondered if he needed a glass of water. “Magic.”
“You’re magicians? No way!” You grinned, “I’ve always wanted to see a magic show live! Furina, I think we should go. I’d love to see more of these two.”
“I do too.” Lynette joined, “We can get you on the reservation list for front and center… unless you’d like to sit VIP with Furina?” 
“We’ll both sit front row. Neuvillette can have front row if he wishes to attend.” Furina grinned at Lynette, and you couldn’t help but feel like you were missing out of something as you cared for Lyney. 
“Wonderful.” Lynette stands up, followed by Freminet. “I think Lyney just needs rest now, but we don’t live far in the Court of Fontaine. We probably need to head out before it gets too late.” 
You nod and hold your hand out to Lyney, who takes a second of staring before taking your hand and hoisting himself up. You both definitely hold on a bit too long to be typical for someone you just met, but exceptions could always be made. 
“I’ll see you tomorrow then, Lynette.” You glance back at the boy at your side. “Lyney.” 
“Y-yes.” He speaks. You like his voice. “Tomorrow evening. I’d love to see you there.” 
After the three left, Furina stayed on your couch and stared. 
You sat across from her, staring back with a puzzled expression. 
This was the longest you’d ever heard her be quiet and it was incredibly unnerving. You couldn’t take much more of this. 
“What?”
Another beat of silence. “What do you mean ‘what’?”
“What do you mean ‘what do you mean’? What did I do?”
“You’ve never done that before.”
“Done what, Furina? I don’t have time for this–”
“Gotten all flustered like that. You don’t even dote on me like that and I’m your best friend.”
“Lynette said that he got overheated during the performance.” You defended, “I had to help him, I felt bad. I told the crew that it was too hot in there but they didn’t listen–”
“You’re stupid.” Before you could retort in offense, Furina leaned forward. “You haven’t been that open and nice since…” 
You’re glad she doesn’t finish that sentence– doesn’t let his name leave her mouth. Furina is right and you know it, but you definitely don’t want to admit that. Especially not to her. 
“I just felt bad.” She doesn’t believe you and you know it. “Fur, you know I can’t. People can’t keep up with my life. He’s cute, but I’m better off alone.” 
Furina looks away for a moment as if to think about what she’s going to say next for the first time ever. “He’s different.” 
“You don’t know that.”
“First, I know him better than you do. I’ve had my fair share of run-ins with that crew, and I’m the Hydro Archon. I know everyone in Fontaine.” She twirls a finger around her hair– a telltale sign that she’s desperate for someone to listen to her. You want to oblige, but your mind won’t let you. “Lyney understands the life of a performer. Has he traveled? No. But I bet he’d be more than willing to travel with you as like– an opening act or something!” She snaps her fingers as if this is some sort of life-changing revelation. 
Your anxiety says otherwise. 
“What about Lynette and Freminet?”
“They can go with you!” She says as if it’s the easiest thing in the world. “Lynette is Lyney’s assistant, so she has to go. Freminet would be good with helping with finances or something. Or if you happen to drop your wedding ring in the ocean, he can get it.”
“Wedding ring?”
“Yeah, for when you marry–”
A knock on the door interrupts her and you’ve never been happier. You give each other confused looks before you get up and open the door a crack. Behind it is a face all-too-familiar, and you open it wider. 
“I-uh, forgot my hat here.” Lyney, cheeks still rosy, rubs the back of his neck in embarrassment. 
“O-oh, of course!” You stammer out, leaving him at the door and finding his hat in one of the other chairs. Furina stares him down in a way that makes him feel like he’s intruding on a very important conversation, but he tries to brush it off as one of her theatrics. 
Lyney’s smile returns when you appear again, his hat in your hands, and tries to ignore the jump of his heart as his fingers accidentally brush yours when he takes it. “Thank you so much.” You watch as his figure begins to retreat from the guesthouse, but he quickly turns around and waves. “And I do hope to see you tomorrow.”
—---
Lyney does, in fact, get to see you tomorrow. 
Peeking through the curtain, he sees you front and center, sitting in the same exact seat that he was in the night before. Furina is at your side, chatting with you happily and ignoring the questioning whispers of her citizens as they question why she’s on the floor instead of in her box. Their questions cease when they see you. 
A bit of jealousy hits him as he sees some citizens ask for your autograph or come up to talk to you, but he can’t dwell on it long before Lynette is behind him. 
“Is she here?”
“Yes.” He lets out a nervous breath. “Everything has to be perfect tonight.” 
“It will be.” She reassures, “And don’t worry about anything else. I have it all covered. She’s come to see you and you alone, so you just focus on being the best you can be.”
Lyney has never been more grateful for his sister than he is at that moment. Sure, it was one thing when she accepted his schoolgirl crush on a famous singer, but when she was actually here, at their show, watching him, she was the best wingman in Teyvat. 
He peeked out of the curtain once more, his breath catching in his throat when he sees you looking directly at him. You wave and send him a soft smile and Lyney can feel his entire body heat up. He’s determined and ready for this show to start. 
And with a short countdown, it does. 
In most performances, Lyney keeps his eyes above the crowd. It’s an illusion many performers learn– don’t look directly at anyone specifically, it’s easier to quell the anxiety of thousands of eyes being on you, judging your every move. He knows you do this tactic as well, getting to witness it firsthand last night as you wowed the crowd from the very stage he was on tonight. He wondered how he could possibly be equal to such a wonderful performance and his mind gets a bit louder as doubts start plaguing him. As quickly as they come, however, they disappear. 
Lyney looks at you. 
You’re dressed beautifully, hair and makeup done simply as if to bare the real you. Oh, how Lyney longs to know the real you. 
You think it’s a funny coincidence when the first rose comes to you. Just a chance that a draft happened to send it directly into your lap after Lyney throws it into the crowd. Same with the second rose, that he passed off to you personally as he walked by after doing his switch trick with the box. You realize it’s not just some happenstance when the performance ends and you are left with a bouquet of roses in your hands, your face hot as Furina teases you. 
“Rainbow roses have special meaning in Fontaine, you know.” She grinned. You swatted her away. 
“I know.” You huff, “He probably uses those in every show to make the little lucky audience girl feel special.”
Furina opens her mouth to speak, but a voice from behind speaks up before she can. “I normally use Romaritime Flowers, and only pull one out of my hat, but I thought tonight I could do something a little different.”
Lyney prays you aren’t uncomfortable when you turn around– the adrenaline of the show is the only thing driving him to speak to you steadily right now, and he didn’t know what he’d do if he got rejected. He’s pleasantly surprised when you do turn around and your mouth is slightly agape, your cheeks darker than usual. He did his job. 
“They’re beautiful. Thank you.”
“Keep them, they’re yours.” Lyney places his hands on yours to push them back when you go to give him back the bouquet, but he doesn’t remove them when you clutch the flowers to your chest. “This is my official offer– let me treat you to dinner.” 
You turn your head to give Furina a look, but she’s long gone. You make a note to curse her out later. 
“Lyney, I want to accept your offer. So badly. But I just know it won’t work.”
Seeing Lyney’s face fall almost makes you want to take it back, but you can’t. You can’t get hurt again. 
“Please,” His voice has gone soft, “How do you know that?”
“It’s happened before. I’m just protecting you. I’m going to be gone soon and you can forget about this little infatuation–”
“No!” Lyney blurts out but quickly composes himself. “You’re not protecting me, you’re protecting yourself. I’m not whatever man hurt you in the past. I’m a performer too, I can handle all the things that entails.” 
“Lyn… This is only my third country on my tour. I have so many more left, I’ll be gone for a very long time. It’s not fair to ask you to wait for me.”
“I think I get to decide what’s fair for me.” You don’t respond, looking away. Lyney takes your chin between his fingers to make you look at him. “And I think that me waiting for you is a fair trade if it means you come back to me in the end. Please, ma chérie. Consider it.” 
You took a breath, weighing the options as seriously as the Oratrice. You think back to your conversations– the ones with your manager, the ones with Furina. Finally, you meet his eyes fully. Lyney hasn’t looked away, a softness in his eyes that you were not expecting.
“Let’s go to dinner. I’ve been thinking of hiring an opening act for the rest of the tour anyways. How do you feel about that?”
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imagitory · 4 months
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youtube
All right...for those of you who don't know my thoughts about Wish, yes, I wasn't happy with the finished result, but no, I'm not a hater. I'm mostly just disappointed that this project that had so many good ideas came out so half-baked, and THIS is a perfect example of what I mean.
No, it's not because "Star Boy" appears in it -- at least, not by itself. I do actually like Star's "himbo" personality in this, even if I also completely understand liking the idea of a mute version of the character. (The downside is that the mute Star from the finished film honestly doesn't have much personality outside of just being cute, in contrast to other mute magical Disney characters like Tinker Bell.)
No, the lost potential here is two-fold --
Firstly, I once again felt more emotion watching this storyboarded sequence than I did at any point in the finished film. I smiled hearing the fun banter between Star and Asha, insinuating that they're becoming closer despite their contrasting personalities; I felt some suspense in how Star and Asha were going to get away from evil!Queen Amaya; I even laughed pretty hard at the cat-and-yarn gag! I didn't laugh once while watching the finished movie.
Secondly -- and this point is actually the one I want to focus on more -- is the commentary given about why this scene was cut. I truly think another unspoken reason behind the decision was that this sequence was clearly inspired by the transforming chase scene in Nimona, which Disney of course infamously dropped when they closed Blue Sky Studios and later got picked up by Netflix, only to receive glowing reviews from just about everyone...but one of the core reasons that Head of Story Mark Kennedy cites for why they changed this scene (aside from wanting Star to be mute and not a shapeshifter like other Disney characters, which I'm a bit confused about because yeah, Disney's done cute, mute non-human characters before too -- what about Dopey, Pascal, Maximus, Dumbo, Bambi, Magic Carpet, Sven, and again Tinker Bell?) is that they wanted Asha to be the hero and be able to "solve all her problems" without Star's help.
Up to a point, I understand what Kennedy means -- the theme of the film is supposed to be that we all have the power inside of us to make a difference, and that's great. But by making it so that Asha doesn't need any help from Star, it takes something away from their relationship. No human is an island, and relationships, both in stories and real life, are often built on that fact. Just look at Ariel and Eric in the original Little Mermaid -- Ariel saves Eric from drowning and from Ursula zapping him with Triton's trident, and then Eric saves Ariel from Ursula by skewering her with the broken figurehead of a ship. Even in non-romantic examples, we have Judy and Nick having to help each other solve the case in Zootopia; Buzz and Woody helping each other get back to Andy in Toy Story; the Parr family and Frozone all fighting together against Syndrome's robot with their unique powers in The Incredibles; Jim Hawkins and Long John Silver working together to save themselves and everyone else at the end of Treasure Planet; even Anna helping Elsa learn how to control her magical abilities through an act of authentic, courageous, selfless love that only she can do in Frozen. These characters needing help and deep emotional connections with others is what creates a bond between them, helps the characters grow and change into stronger people, and makes us as an audience enjoy watching the two characters together. We become invested in both the two individual characters and the relationship forged between them. Because they all have their unique strengths and weaknesses, they supplement and complete each other. Even perfect paragon Superman in most DC properties isn't an island -- when he's in the Justice League, there are plenty of times where he needs help from Batman or other team members to save the day. Even Superman is a stronger character when he has people around him who can balance out his flaws.
If Asha never needs help, that runs the risk of the challenges she's facing seeming far less consequential, because no human can handle absolutely everything, all by themselves. Yes, perhaps in the finished film, Asha asks her friends to help her liberate the wishes (a task which ultimately fails, leaving Asha to confront Magnifico alone again and realize exactly what everyone has to do to defeat him on her own anyway)...but just in regards to Star and Asha's relationship -- which even the filmmakers have said is something like a "soulmate" relationship, though not in a romantic sense in the finished product -- these two can't have a meaningful connection if one of them is completely self-sufficient. This is also why quite a few Disney fans didn't like that the Little Mermaid remake changed Ursula's defeat to have it be Ariel who killed her, rather than Eric, because it hurt the "equal" dynamic between the main couple where they both helped and supported each other.
In short, "girl power" shouldn't have to mean never needing to rely on anyone else...and honestly, looking at this scene concept, we don't see Asha relying on Star too much! She's the brains of the outfit -- she's making plans; she's providing Star some much needed common sense; she's using Star's light as a distraction so they can get away...she even escapes Amaya at one point by sliding right under her horse! Asha in this storyboard is a bad-ass!
What we see in this sequence is these two characters having to help each other in order to succeed. And that would've been a great foundation on which to build more dramatic stakes and a relationship with actual pathos, whether romantic or not.
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saiscribbles · 2 months
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What are your future plans for your channel btw? Although I like your content criticizing Lily, I think it’s best for you to move away from her because her time on the internet is a huge trash fire that never leads to anything good.
I’d personally really like to see you talk more about Hazbin Hotel or Steven Universe! Your streams are really fun and I love having them on the side while I work. :)
BOLD OF YOU TO ASSUME I HAVE A PLAN!
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Much like I never actually intended to start a Steven Universe AU series I never actually intended to become a YouTuber in the first place.
Here's the story:
For years now I've been doing a stream weekly on Twitch where I just talk with chat while drawing. One day Hiding in Public/Private released a couple of great videos on old SU hate videos, including Lily's infamous "Steven Universe is Garbage and Here's Why".
Not too long after that Lily released "Was I Wrong About Steven Universe?" as a nakedly obvious response. I thought hey, wouldn't it be funny if one stream I just react to this video? Just for funsies? To see if Lily has actually changed her mind on anything?
What I didn't expect was I'd end up spending like half an hour explaining Shoujo Kakumei Utena of all things during that video reaction.
I was kinda impressed with my own recall of Utena despite not having watched it in full in over a decade. So I thought eh for funsies lemme cut down that part and slap it on my account. Which is the same account I've had since 2006. I've put videos up there just for my friends and small number of fans before, as you can see from this Minecraft video from 11 years ago I filmed and edited for my friend for her birthday.
And then that Utena video got 5k views. On my completely unestablished YouTube channel. And I was like... huh. I knew people are annoyed by Lily Orchard but damn.
By that point I had also already decided to react to Lily's video on the Steven Universe Movie the next stream. Cause obviously the SU movie is something pretty near and dear to me that I know very well. And Lily's video was SO BAD and had so many OUTRIGHT LIES in it I thought well hell, let's cut down the two SU reacts into a video too!
It'll probably get like 10k views tops.
And then I'll just fuck off back into the shadows whence I came.
And I suddenly found myself with 3,000 followers.
And I suddenly found myself monetized.
And that video just passed 200k views now. In 3 months.
So I was like... well shit. Now I have this new audience over here on YouTube. I should probably actually give them something. I mean the added revenue stream is nice but I'm not looking to become a career tuber. Mostly I felt like I owed it to this new audience I now have.
So I started doing my art stream on YouTube as well! And I also have been game streaming, if you haven't checked my Lives recently. I've been streaming I Wani Hug That Gator, of all things, while doing silly voices and we're all having a blast. I already wanted to get back into game steaming this year even before this giant explosion in attention.
So for now that's the only thing resembling a plan! I'm gonna keep art and game streaming and cutting videos from those streams. I'm not a video essayist. I can't write and perform a script, I'm just not good at it. But I am very good off the cuff which is why I'm a streamer. I can explain things when prompted. So hey, come to my Wednesday art streams (2pm EST) and poke me for art and writing advice! Or to pick my brain about Steven Universe and Hazbin. I thrive on chat interaction! And then those can be shorts and videos too.
I do plan to do at least 3 or 4 more Lily reacts in the future just because they're videos I think would be funny to react to. But after that? Who knows!
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buggy-samaaa · 1 month
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Caught, part 4
1 | 2 | 3 | 4 | 5 | 6 | 7 | 8 | 9 | 10 | 11 | 12 | 13 | 14 | 15 | 16 | 17 | 18 | 19
Word count: 532
Content: NSFW — mdni, gender neutral reader, no y/n, second person POV, voyeurism, anal, masturbation, misuse of devil’s fruit powers
——
The next day was awkward, to say the least. Buggy had completely given up talking to you, relaying orders to you through Cabaji instead. 
“Captain says he wants you around the corner from the big top today,” Cabaji told you. You glanced behind Cabaji to see Buggy hovering just within earshot. When Buggy noticed your gaze, he zipped out of view.
“...Why? That makes no sense.”
“Captain says,” Cabaji repeated with a shrug. You crossed your arms in response.
“Well, you can tell Captain Buggy that I've had lots of success in my current spot. Customers can see the tent, I tell them about the circus as I draw their caricature, and they decide to check it out. More money for the crew, and no need to chain people up.”
Cabaji set his lips in a line and sighed. “Look, I don't know why he doesn't want to talk to you or even see you from the tent, but I don't like being a messenger. So, just follow the order, and when he sees it loses him money and audience members, he'll figure something else out. Okay?” And before you could respond, Cabaji left. 
To Buggy's relief, you moved your easel, chairs, display, and supplies to where he had directed you. Now he wouldn't be forced to be reminded of The Incident upon seeing you from within the big top. He really didn't care that it could lead to a decline in customers as long as he didn't have to see you… but he knew he couldn't avoid you forever. 
That evening, you happened to be entering the galley as Buggy left it with a plate of food. You bumped straight into him, causing the food to dump all over his vest and pants.
“Shit,” Buggy muttered, trying to wipe off the gravy and scalloped potatoes from the fabric with his gloved hand. He glanced up and noticed it was you who bumped into him. “Shiiit.”
You pulled out a handkerchief from your back pocket and started wiping him off without a second thought. “Sorry,” you said, mopping up the liquids. “You better wash these as soon as possible, or they'll stain.” You deliberately avoided wiping off his pants, blushing a bit as you handed the cloth to him to do that part himself.
Buggy flushed. “I-I’m not gonna strip right in front of you,” he said in protest as he rubbed the cloth against his crotch. 
“Why would y– I'm not telling you to!” you responded. Your eyes flicked to his vigorous rubbing of his groin and you blushed deeper. “Stop doing that, it's giving me flashbacks,” you hissed. 
“I'm trying to clean off all the crap you spilled on me,” he hissed back. “And don't talk about it!” 
You swiped back your hanky to force him to cut it out. He grabbed the other half of it and yanked hard, and the force of it caused you to jolt forward, falling against his chest and catching yourself on his shoulders. Buggy instinctively stepped away, then slipped on the dropped food and fell on his ass, making you slip with him and land with your face right between his legs. Great.
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riacte · 4 months
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Life Series False manifestation from HC10 False [UNSERIOUS] [clownery]
Open up the clown tents! I was going to give up after October 2023 but y’know 🤡 if you watch certain parts of HC10 False with your eyes closed you can pretend it’s the Life series 🤡🚦
I know this is 95% stretching. I know this is unserious and a pipe dream from 2021 fueled by two clips from False and half of a clip from Martyn (of all people). But whatever, we’re having fun 🎪
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1) Fun little red name display? 👀
False’s HC10 E1 starts off with a quick explanation of the new Demise game. And there’s this screenie which is basically identical to what a life series player would show the audience to introduce the lives gimmick. But we all know Demise is Life series 2.0 and Life series is Demise 2.0. Still, visually, it’s a nice little touch.
2) Interactions with red name Ren
False E1 33:45. False said Ren’s red name suited his outfit and then she said about herself:
“Reckon I can get a different colour, yellow, to match my hair?”
Ren, damningly enough, said in reply:
“Sure! That would be cool!”
And then False repeated “that would be cool”.
— Which, I know, I know, means nothing. Yellow is just coincidentally a colour of a life in Life series and also the colour of False’s hair. And it would be cool. Like, hypothetically.
Ren then suggested killing False to bring her down to yellow, which is not how it works in Demise because yellow doesn’t exist, but it’s okay, his brain is stuck in Life series, we get it. And I know this means nothing, but for a second, Ren’s brain thought of False in the Life series in which it was possible to get her to yellow.
Then False, Stress, and Iskall tried to lure Wels in for Ren’s red kill and got extremely disappointed when he failed. This is not the first time False has brought Ren human sacrifices. She was also really good at it during the cursed burning box segment with Ren and Martyn.
I think this got cut from False’s ep, but there’s a bit more in Ren’s E0, 1:11:57.
False: While you’re red, you need to be using it to your full advantage.
Ren: That is true.
False: Threaten people, you could have someone else do it for you.
Ren then discussed his killing choices with her. If you close your eyes, this is basically a convo between a green name and their allied Boogeyman / red name. False is even coming up with fun red name strategies even though she’s not a red. And giving Ren advice while standing on her pillar of safety.
(There are also some nice parallels between Ren sorting resources at the hillock while being bullied by everyone + green person comes up to him // Ren doing enchanting stuff at a hill while being bullied by everyone + green person comes up to him.)
Regardless, you can tell False’s put thought into this whole death game / red name thing, and in a hypothetical situation, it “would be cool” to see her strategies / alliances go down in Life series.
3) Irrational fear of salmon Pearl
Going into full stretching territory now. In False’s E1 29:30, (white name) Pearl comes by, armourless but with a salmon head.
False: Pearl is still not wearing any armour.
Pearl: You didn’t have to call me out like that, False!
False to Stress and Iskall: Guys, don’t move, she might not have seen us
[Hermits chuckling]
Pearl: Thanks, that’s fine!
False: Don’t move. If we don’t move, she won’t attack, guys. Stay calm.
[Pearl runs away]
False: We stood still enough, she’s run off. We’re almost safe. Okay, we’re safe, good.
False: She was AFK on top of a tree, watching us, getting ready to go caving! I don’t know what was going on!
Iskall: It’s kind of scary.
False: It’s kind of freaky, yeah. I feel like I’ve made an enemy now if Pearl’s name turns red.
False when Pearl gets close to Iskall: She’s a dangerous being, don’t move, just don’t move Iskall, you’re fine.
And this bit about False being randomly scared of Pearl and warning others about her goes on. Which, at least to me, is strangely reminscient of everyone being scared of Double Life 5am Scarlet Pearl for no reason. Something wicked this way comes indeed.
Anyways, does any of this mean anything at all? Probably not. But it’s a fun bit of clowning 🤡 like it’s as realistic as HC Martyn.
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nyaagolor · 5 months
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Merry DL6mas!
I wrote an inordinate amnt of words about Edgeworth and MVK and dynamics and meta and w/e, stuck it below the cut so I don't obliterate ur dashes
So originally I wanted to make a relationship flowchart for all the characters and then realized that the amnt of caveats would make the image entirely text so I’m just forgoing the image altogether and doing this group by group starting with the VKs bc DL6mas and whatnot. It’s an essay and also unorganized so um. Have fun or apologies in advance? 
Anyway. I think AA1 intending to be standalone and then getting these additional games does some fun things to the characters but especially for Manfred. I’m of the opinion that he was not created or written to be deep or nuanced or anything. He’s the final boss, we weren’t supposed to get more on him, he’s honestly just a symbolic representation of the forces Phoenix works against rather than a character in his own right (in AA1 at least). He’s cartoonishly evil and that was supposed to be it— and then we get JFA and Franziska and suddenly Manfred gets all this retroactive characterization as the story is built beyond its initial parameters. That’s part of the reason why I’m so interested in him— all this new information comes exclusively through other characters and insinuations rather than him actually being on screen up until Investigations and even then it’s like 4 lines. We get more on Manfred, yes, but it’s a shadow on the wall. I’m sorry to bring up allegory of the cave about the gay lawyer simulator but w/e I’m a melodramatist, it’s an allegory of the cave situation. The reason I bring that up is because I don’t really think about Manfred in the same way as other characters; I piece together how I think of him though his relationships and impact on others rather than as an independent dude. His past is inconsequential to me and the ppl who flesh him out are the real troopers but he matters to me more as a vessel for narrative themes than anything. This is all to say that everything I’m doing is conjecture and just kind of filling in the gaps based on my current understanding of the text. Headcanons for the broad and far-reaching audience of me, myself, and I. 
That being said. The whole spiel I just went on about “Manfred as defined by his relation to others” works quite nicely as tie-in to how he feels about Edgeworth, because I think Edgeworth occupies this symbolic space in MVK’s mind. Yes, Edgeworth is a kid he mentors and who lives in his house and who he is legally responsible for, but Edgeworth is also this physical manifestation of his failures. Edgeworth is a child, yes, but to MVK he’s a ghost, a consequence, a punishment. He may not be a VK, but he IS karma (sound the turnabout melody I am kissing you on the lips for this line btw). 
This also means that the way MVK views Edgeworth as an extension of his own thoughts about the DL6 incident rather than solely as his own person, which is something that changes pretty drastically over time. The way he talks about and to Edgeworth goes beyond who and what Edgeworth is as a person because for MVK, there was always an aspect of the self in there, and MVK interacting with Edgeworth is as much a reflection of his own identity as it is how he feels about Miles. 
If there is one thing the entire VK family does extraordinarily well it's projection, and I think MVK has been doing this since he brought Edgeworth into the picture (and before that, but it’s only relevant to me now). This is personally how I rationalize how absolutely batshit half of MVK’s actions are. I know the actual reason is “we expanded the characters around him which necessitates certain actions to drive the plot and inconsistency results from this expansion” blah blah blah paratext more or less confirms this, but we are going full Watsonian in this bitch. 
I have talked at length about the actual medical stuff around gunshots and how bullets are typically removed from joints specifically because of how badly they damage the surrounding tissues over time, I’ll link the post if anyone is curious, but tldr bullet wound symbolism. I bring this up now because I think the bullet acts as a physical representation for DL6, it literally and metaphorically tears him up inside. No one else knows about this murder, most people have forgotten the penalty, but he never did, because he can’t. For someone who has structured his entire self on the idea of perfection, this is an event of unprecedented magnitude, and the living proof of it is eating dinner at his table every night. MVK sits with the weight of what he’s done, and whether or not he feels justified or guilty or w/e doesn’t even matter because it’s making him lose his goddamn mind. His behavior gets more intense, more irrational, because before he was just a massive, scheming, paragon of perfection (and corruption but shh) but now he is in this inescapable cycle as the result of his choices and his choices exclusively. I don’t propose to know nor care about how he felt about it or what the specific emotions he felt were because they’re not particularly important in my mind, only that the lingering ghost of DL6 is driving MVK kinda bonkers and that drastically alters how he interacts with Edgeworth and Franziska. 
I’ve seen a lot of debate about why MVK took in Edgeworth, but my hot take is that he actually doesn’t know. I don’t think MVK ever processed DL6, I think he is filled with contradictory feelings (how ironic) and that this is what eats at him through all those years. Why did he take in Edgeworth? Because he felt guilty? Because he wanted to train him into everything his father hated as a twisted kind of revenge? Because he wanted a prodigy and saw himself in Edgeworth? It’s all of them, it’s none of them, it doesn’t matter, he doesn’t know. Why did he prosecute Edgeworth right before the statute of limitations ended? Was it revenge? Hatred? A way to test his prodigy? To project his own gnawing nest of emotions onto the person he felt embodied the incident? Same deal. (the real answer is that it doesn’t really matter bc we were not supposed to think about it this hard but. Shh. dw about it.)
I don’t take much interest into Manfred’s inner world because I ultimately think that a lot of his actions, while completely under his control, are him acting on impulse, on him doing irrational things because DL6, in a sense, killed him too. He comes out of that elevator a different person (not worse (can’t go down from rock bottom), not better, just a different kind of asshole), but destroyed from the inside out by a murder he committed. He’s so arrogant, so entitled, that he could never let this go, and I think that drives so much of the insane shit he tries to pull. He has centered his life around the axis of DL6 and he will always be pulled back into its orbit. The further we get from DL6 the more time he has to think, the more it tears him apart, the more the contradictory feelings about it rear their heads in turn and create this guy who is just desperate and angry. And when it’s days before the statute of limitations he just becomes completely subsumed by it all. He was always cruel, but now he’s cruel and desperate and completely willing to drag everyone down with him. The desperation is the important part. 
I will say though that he is, irrefutably, his own downfall. He molded Edgeworth in his own image, he created Phoenix Wright the defense attorney as a consequence, and it is the two of them who send him to his death. He is the one who planned the murder of Turnabout Goodbyes. From beginning to end, it’s his own hand. Manfred is one of the only characters in this series whose actions are not precedented by extenuating circumstances. It’s allllll him. He’s the bitch. He has been and will always be a selfish prick and for as much as he is lashing out because of DL6 he does so by dragging others in. 
Extremely long prelude to say that I think how he treats edgeworth varies so wildly over time and is so irrational in its presentation because of everything I mentioned before. He is Edgeworth’s greatest kindness and his worst nightmare— at the same time!! Multitasking king. He takes in Edgeworth as a snap decision for reasons he doesn’t entirely understand, and I think because of that he never quite views Edgeworth as a son (at least in the traditional sense). Edgeworth is not his child in the same way that Franziska is his child (and we will get to her in a different post I promise), but he’s not just some random kid either. Manfred is emotionally tied to him through DL6, and I think the fact colors the way that Manfred treats him. It’s a dynamic that I can’t really put a label on, because it’s mentor/student with so much extra baggage that it feels different than that. There is an emotional connection between them, a sense of atonement and revenge, and I don’t think either of them will ever be able to articulate what that means. Manfred does not address Edgeworth as his child, and I think there is an attempt in his language to distance himself from Edgeworth, but he finds himself drawn to Edgeworth all the same (bc Edgeworth is DL6 etc etc). He did not ask for a child, he does not WANT a child, but he has one! Get fucked!
MVK is obsessed with his own image, with this idea of perfection, and insofar as Edgeworth is DL6, Edgeworth is an extension of MVK. He pushes his ideals and tactics onto Edgeworth the second Edgeworth decides he wants to be a prosecutor, because even more than Franziska, Edgeworth is MVK’s living legacy. He is quite literally Manfred’s midlife crisis and I think Edgeworth wanting to be like him and becoming this Demon Prosecutor is this insanely fucked up kind of catharsis in MVK’s mind. And as Edgeworth becomes more like him, as he takes up MVK’s mantle, he becomes a mirror— that is where shit gets fun. I don’t think I need to spell out the ways in which MVK was simultaneously caring and cruel to his kids— you’ve seen Sound the Turnabout Melody, you’re seen Turnabout Goodbyes, we know this song and dance. 
The more time Edgeworth spends around him, as Edgeworth reflects more of Manfred back at himself, MVK simultaneously becomes proud and revolted. Edgeworth is growing beyond the consequences of DL6 and into a mirror of his adopted father figure mentor person. He is, from the ashes of DL6, becoming Manfred von Karma, and I think that drives MVK insane. He is becoming firmly entrenched in MVK’s life at this point. For as much as Edgeworth is DL6, he is now MVK himself. He becomes a walking contradiction, and Manfred’s projection then manifests as this rapidly oscillating clusterfuck of reactions. Edgeworth is out of his control but he’s super important to MVK— recipe for disaster. 
He builds Edgeworth up, teaches him everything he knows, starts to treat him like a son while at the same time irrevocably traumatizing for the rest of his life. He loves who Edgeworth is becoming while hating everything he stands for, and I think this absolute garbage pile of a child-rearing philosophy is as much a projection of himself as anything. It was never about Edgeworth the person. At first, MVK does not care in the slightest about Miles Edgeworth and it is only when he does, even a little bit, that shit hits the fan in my mind. Edgeworth the physical manifestation of DL6 is being overtaken by Edgeworth the Demon Prosecutor, and MVK starts to be proud of him— but this is an eventuality he did not plan for and cannot do anything about. For both of them, it’s personal now, and no amount of pushing each other away is really going to fix that. 
Anyway I don’t think literally any of this was intended. Manfred is not this deep, I am making literally all of this up, but it’s fine. If you got this far I salute you. Miles time. To pivot to Edgeworth’s POV for a while, I think that from the very beginning, Edgeworth looked up to MVK. It’s not the same idolization that Franziska does, but it’s up there. Obviously he idolized his father, but DL6 not only served as a complete evisceration of his family but also his ideals. Gregory the man was dead, but if criminals can kill his father and get away with it, that collapses the foundation on which Miles built his understanding of justice. Gregory the defense attorney– his ideals, his legacy, his philosophy– he died in that elevator too. Edgeworth pivots, completely independently, from a man who wants to protect to a man who wants to punish (and I firmly believe that this was his own decision and not Manfred pushing him into it, if MVK had not adopted him he still would have become a prosecutor just not so much of a dick). 
But so Manfred takes him in, and was spectacularly ill-equipped to handle this. I always saw Manfred as emotionally distant on the best of days (he’s born in the 50s what did u expect) but for Miles, who he barely considers a son at all, he isn’t capable of being the emotional support he needs. He never would be and never wanted to be. That’s layer one of baggage. What MVK does provide for Miles, though, is a purpose. Miles does not wallow in his father’s death, because he is taken in by someone who acts as a paragon of Miles’ new worldview. Manfred never lets a criminal get away. He is perfect in that way, and it gives Miles a tangible (albeit impossible) goal to strive for. MVK mentors him in this worldview and gives him the tools to outlet his grief and rage into something productive— fucked up and wrong, maybe, but productive. That’s layer two of baggage. 
For as complicated and twisted and contradictory as MVK’s feelings towards Edgeworth are, Edgeworth for most of his childhood sees MVK as this pillar of everything that is good and treats him with intense amounts of respect. He accepts any cruelty as tough love, he adopts his ideals and his tactics and his suit. Edgeworth needed *something* after the grief of DL6 and MVK is what he got, so Miles latches on and never lets go, for better or for worse. Miles Edgeworth is not Manfred von Karma but he actively tries to take his shape because whether or not it’s reciprocated, Edgeworth loves him and everything that he stands for. Manfred cares about him in that respect at the very least. And ultimately, this is my big take on Edgeworth: I think Edgeworth actively chased MVK. He became MVK on purpose. It’s a result of trauma and built entirely on false pretenses, but Miles is the one who takes the initiative and Manfred indulges him— And then Turnabout Goodbyes happens. 
Everything Edgeworth is, everything he made himself become, is wrong. Edgeworth has molded himself into a person he does not recognize and that person turned out to be a monster. The person Edgeworth idolized, respected, and maybe even loved is the very person who destroyed his life. He is wearing the skin of the monster he wanted to destroy, and he did it on purpose (in his mind). This is not to say he had much if any agency in this situation— this is not a path he would naturally take, this is structured entirely under false pretenses, and he was clouded by grief, traumatized, and most importantly nine, but what matters here is that Edgeworth FEELS like it’s his fault, and the complete collapse of his worldview AGAIN is what drives all the bullshit of RFTA. Edgeworth is not MVK (and you can tell because he is capable of self-reflection which MVK is ostensibly not (or at least unwilling to)), but it still drives him to this complete and utter devastation. He sees Manfred in himself and it isn’t until AAI1/2 that he’s able to see Gregory as well. MVK filled a need for Edgeworth at the lowest point in his life (and absolutely made him worse but that’s not the point). Edgeworth respected and loved Manfred’s ideals, STILL chases the idea of the man, and because of that still cares about him. He becomes aware of who the monster he loved is, and how has to reconcile with what it means to be that person’s reflection and legacy despite knowing— and feeling, and BEING— all the harm he caused.
Those contradictory feelings that I talked about earlier? Love and hatred all mixed together— questions that cannot be answered and actions taken without knowing why? That’s Edgeworth’s final gift from Manfred: he inherits the bullet and the legacy he carries forward. Unlike Manfred, though, Edgeworth takes that pain and shares it, lets other people in, scoffs at the veneer of perfection and allows himself to be hurt and vulnerable and it is only in that way that Edgeworth can break out of VK’s shadow and break the cycle. He holds onto the ideals that he learned from Manfred, separates them from the nastiness and acknowledges the place they came from. It’s obvious in the way that Edgeworth carries aspects of that legacy forward that he’s capable of disseminating everything that Manfred is, acknowledging the way he’s been influenced by him and what he still respects about the man despite it all, and make peace with the rest of it. The cycle of violence and corruption started with Manfred and Edgeworth makes sure that it ends with him too. 
I have a ton more to talk about with respect to his teaching methods and the nitty gritty of how he interacts with his kids but that’s for the Fran post. This is more of the “whys” than the “hows” but I’ll get there :)
Anyway, I think that’s it. I’m sure there’s more that I’m missing but my head is beyond empty rn and I can’t think of anything else I wanna talk about with respect to these two. I know I literally just spewed 3k words about into this textpost but I do love chatting about them (total shock I know) so if u also have thoughts or ideas abt anything related to them lmk :3
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theminecraftbee · 8 months
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i ABSOLUTELY want to see the behind the scenes/extra symbolism discussion of the blackjack fic!!!!!
YEAH OKAY TIME TO RAMBLE ABOUT CHOICES THERE, i'll stick it under a cut for people who want to read this ficlet without me explaining a lot of the choices. also because it's LONG.
so let's start with: blackjack as the game is a deliberate choice. like, i considered poker, and then realized i like blackjack more. to explain in full i've gotta go into a little detail about the setup.
this is because the setup here is that the watchers, the listeners, grian, and martyn are all "writing the narrative", effectively. they are putting their own wants and desires for what the next life series will be on the table and betting for it. abstractly, grian cares about the gamified life series (the specific rules), the watchers care about the character interactions and the drama of it all, the listeners want it to be meaningful to them and to feel like it has a point, and martyn, though he doesn't really realize this, is here because he is the one who keeps MAKING half the life series narrative, and the one who plays into it the most. they also represent grian as the guy who makes the rules, the watchers and listeners as the audience and the way it sometimes wants the same things and sometimes is opposed to each other in what they want, and martyn as the guy who plays directly into the story.
in blackjack, these people aren't playing against each other. like, okay. blackjack as you play it "properly" can have many people at a table, but you'll notice that if you try to use an odds calculator online, there's no way to calculate odds based on what any hands but yours and the dealer's are. that's because blackjack decks in casinos are normally like, at LEAST four decks shuffled together, to make counting cards harder. besides, the people at the table with you aren't your opponents anyway! everyone at the table can beat the dealer and get double their bet back. or, in this story, everyone at the table can beat the dealer and get their part of the story guaranteed to be in the next game. they aren't COLLABORATIVE--there's no way to help the other people at the table either! but they aren't ADVERSARIAL. they are not, inherently, working against each other. they just happen to be all playing against the same dealer.
so anyway, the dealer here is death, because one, as death points out in the ficlet, literally the only inevitable constant in the life series is death. the story will INEVITABLY end with everyone dead. everyone is playing against death to get the kind of story they want, because ultimately, what will REALLY shape the story is those deaths. in the life series, death ultimately decides how the story goes, and you're betting against it to tell the specific story you want.
that's also why death wins the tie. its my understanding that a tie in many casinos actually just means you get your bet back; you lose nothing, but you gain nothing also. however, this game is rigged. you can't 'tie' death; it's death. if you die, it's game over, after all.
death is also the dealer, however, because it is PREDICTABLE. one strange quality of blackjack is that the dealer's moves are entirely deterministic. sure, you don't know what the dealer's actual hand is, since they keep a card hidden--that's why it's gambling--but a dealer in blackjack, by rule, must ALWAYS take a hit if their hand is 16 or lower, and must ALWAYS stay if their hand is 17 or higher. no exceptions. as such, you can guarantee the dealer will always have at least a 17 at the end of a round, or they will bust. death in the life series follows rules. you know when it's coming. it's more a matter of whether you can stop it.
that make sense as a metaphor? okay cool.
anyway, more details! so the specific cards dealt here don't matter so much as the hands; i don't know cartomancy someone else will have to tell you about the symbolic meanings of a standard deck of cards. what i CAN tell you is that the hands everyone got and how they played them was deliberate.
so, first: basically everyone made what is arguably the "correct" play. yes even martyn. we'll get to that. however, what happened with each of them represents their personality.
grian doubles down. it's grian, of course he does! for those of you who don't know how doubling down works: when you have a hand of 9, 10, or 11, it is reasonable to double down. the dealer deals you exactly one face-down card that you don't reveal until the dealer reveals their hand, and you double your bet. the reason these specific numbers are the ones you double down on is because, mathematically, you can't bust on these in one card, and you're somewhat more likely to get a winning hand with them than not. however, doubling down means you can't take another hit! you have no way to know if you'll beat the dealer or not after you do so! after all, if you, say, are like, grian, you'll most likely need at least a 7 to beat the dealer if you double down with a 10. you're guaranteed not to bust, sure, but you've doubled your risk anyway.
of course, grian is exactly the kind of guy to double his risk in a situation where he has nothing to lose. of COURSE he doubles down. and of course he loses; he doesn't bust, sure, but that face-down card isn't nearly high enough to win.
(grian also had to lose so i wasn't directly making a rules prediction, lol. him losing leaves it somewhat more ambiguous whether his rules requests of 'enforced red name bloodlust' and 'no life trading' will be true or not.)
the watcher wins the hand outright, standing immediately. a 19 is a pretty good hand, and drawing a 19 outright is ABSOLUTELY a situation where you never take a hit. the watcher also wins outright because "bonds that are seemingly unbreakable" is, in fact, a life series standard. the interpersonal relationships are like, the whole story. of course that gets to beat death and make it in! however, it's not like the watcher gets a blackjack; it's no SO guaranteed that it gets a 21. there's always a chance of going wrong.
the listener busts outright. there is no guarantee of your death being meaningful. sometimes, you just get unlucky in the hand you draw.
then, there's martyn, who has a 16. when the dealer has a 7, the dealer is MOST LIKELY to have a hand that will beat a 16. that's a strong card for the dealer to have! however, 16 is a hand you are statistically most likely to lose with in that scenario. the odds are already stacked against martyn; if he doesn't hit, the dealer will almost be guaranteed to win, but if he DOES hit, he's far more likely to bust than he is to win. so, what do you do? most odds calculators tell you to take the hit, because it gives you slightly better odds of winning, but there are ALSO multiple people who will tell you NOT to take the hit, because "not busting" can sometimes be all you need in order to win. you CAN'T win if you bust, after all, and in blackjack, if you bust, you hand over your bet before you even determine if the dealer busts.
(i've seen some people say you should just surrender outright if you have a 16 and the dealer is showing 7 or more; that's the kind of situation that is.)
martyn, of course, takes the hit, because martyn's the kind of guy to risk the statistical odds he loses then and there. he's rewarded for it, sort of! he gets an 18, which is a decent hand! he then holds, because you have to be actively stupid to take a hit on an 18.
unfortunately for martyn, he doesn't actually escape the odds entirely. he tells a good story by taking that risk, sure, but death comes for us all in the end. also, martyn had like a 75% chance to lose anyway--like i said, 16 when the dealer is showing 7 or higher is just about the worst possible situation to be in while playing blackjack. i went ahead and gave death a 3 there too, because sometimes the world is unfair. sometimes if you take the risk that would make you seem actively stupid, that risk would have paid off. sure, 90% of the time it wouldn't, but one out of a hundred, maybe, if you had taken the hit--
anyway. i could probably say more but this is already long enough. gestures. CARD GAMES WITH STAKES AND MEANING OUTSIDE OF THE GAME ITSELF MY BELOVED.
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OK
Before I talk a LOT (I'm not joking, A LOT)
About this au, how I stumbled upon the idea, story and all in a rushed format,
APPRECIATE THIS
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TOOK FOREVER
COMPLETELY out of my general comfort zone in art BUT OH WELL LOOK AT IT :DDDDDDDD
Also serves as a good hook for what this post is about mehehehehehehehe
CUT TO RAMBLINGS
Oh I have your attention?
Excellent.
It started with me thinking and wondering about a specific fic that is unrelated to this post, frankly different fandom, and I was wondering how it would play out in a movie format, but seeing as the fic in question currently is unfinished and won't be for a while I decided to direct my attention to other fandoms, got to DCA fandom, came up with a few cute ideas i didn't write down for unfinished fics, for the record I do think it would be interesting if Solar Lunacy was a musical just saying, and then I started to think about ok what fics ARE fini-
SLEUTH JESTERS HECK YEAH
Unfortunately at the moment I don't have any digital sketches to share for some of these points and the sketches I do have are pretty messy SO I'LL JUST RAMBLE cause I already wrote down a lot of these separately
Firstly, I imagine this kind of musical being in universe kind of au. Possibly an extension of the Actor AU where the original media (tv show? movie?) got so popular it got a musical adaptation
I imagine the actual music, whether the songs or just sound track, would be heavily inspired by Jazz or smthn. Like, the genre of music most popular during the time period Sleuth Jesters is in ish. It would still be musical-like but you can tell the genre they are going for
And before continuing, to get around not actually saying "y/n" on stage cause that might be a little awkward MAYBE there could be some kind of special sound affect for the actors mics that the audience knows is y/n's name?? Half baked tho
COSTUMES
Sun, Moon and Eclipse (at least) would have highly decorated masks to match the original just added onto because they are on stage. Masks, so that there are more options for who to cast. To make up for this, the actors have to make it clear in their body language to make up for lack of expression
in productions with higher budget mayhaps one function could be the eyes have options for what emotion they could express
In most productions there will be sound effects in the background that mimic the noise that Sun Moon and Eclipse make as they move. Or at least be incorporated into the sound track ooooo
Y/n's clothes would have an easy to notice difference in quality compared to the DCAs, which makes the bell and ribbons much more noticeable on stage
Smaller note but I think y/n's make up could be kind of fun with how they show the y and n on their face
Would probably have a wig colored various shades of silver but not required
FIRST SONG FIRST SONG FIRST SONG
Would be the introduction (of course) and depict the first chapter and likely have something to do with "Until Next Time". I think possibly it would have little breaks in the song to fit in the dialogue
Honestly, in an adaptation there might just be more scenes added between the earlier chapters to fill in points in time or smthn
OR (the answer I like better) The first act uses time between chapters to fill in reader watcher on backstories or past's of characters
Actually yeah little hints would be packed in the first half
Any other songs could be filled in for the boys or y/n that could have the potential to return as a Reprise
Now listen Mandatory Eclipse Villain song(s)
this is not optional
Duets Duets DUETS
One duet could be between characters that are foils or mirror each other but it's one of those duets that have different lyrics that still match up musically
Particularly I think the latter could be used for Sun and Moon's complicated relationship with Eclipse but not completely sure where that would be, probably second half, speaking of which...
ACT ONE ends in the chapter that Y/N has to return the favor to Eclipse, where he crashes the party and they go with him, reassuring Sun and Moon that they allways can wiggle out of situations
REPRISE OF THE FIRST SONGGGGGG
Until Next Time Reprise
Which will have a moment of silence after, showing their mutual understanding yet make it perfectly clear sun and moon don't want to do resort to this
Doesn't last to long as it proceeds with the sound track DROPPING in tone as Eclipse stuffs y/n into the car, that is actually just a prop that leads to the back stage
FADE TO BLACK INTERMISSION
ACT TWO (any major costume changes or forever hold your piece) I think would start off with Sun and Moon's dilemmas first before getting back to y/n
WHICH would likely cut to y/n maybe already in the burgundy shirt but meh that's not solid
I think the way Eclipse gives them the burgundy ribbon and bell could be changed in an adaptation of the story since it would be easier I imagine to show it later than in a car set piece
(Admittedly I have to reread these specific chapters to know specifically the order) But when Eclipse drops the bombshell he knows their past, and I think he leaves them alone for a bit after that, SONG TIME (though song could still happen with him there honestly)
Something similar to the theme "I thought I burned everything" and would just
And after that likely more backstory could be cut to depending on what it is and how relevant it is at that point. WOuld be much grimmer in tone but hey it's the second act.
Though if this opportunity is taken, this could be reprised later when Y/N proposes to the boys, with the necklaces to show being more comfortable with their past
More song opportunities with Y/N's trust issues, Sun and Moon's brother issues, etc
Final act-ish, where y/n first runs away after Sun and Moon "find out" and from there would have more focus on the score than any songs that could be fit into that small frame.
My thoughts went kind of to Heather's Dead Girl Walking Reprise and then Veronica and JD's tussle toward the end if songs got implemented there
AND OF COURSE The moment of Eclipse's death is really what makes me think this would be adapted into a musical in universe
Because it does kind of fit the bill for being tragic
You feel bad enough for what could have been
But also remember "Nah that bitch deserves it"
But also.. it's sad
PERFECT FOR MUSICAL ENDING
ish
After proposal, there is possibility to do a QUICK little glance into the future at the end, not unlike Dear Evan Hansen's ending, but maybe not
Ok now Applause section!!
Freddie and Gregory would bow together
I forgot to mention earlier, but the character that is revealed to be a spy for Eclipse at the police station I'd imagine would have hints on their clothing (like burgundy) that would foreshadow their side
Eclipse would bow by himself, flaunty as ever, yet you can still kind of tell the actor is kind of a sweetheart
Sun and Moon would enter, bow together and then welcome Y/n
Who would get to bow on their own, then with Sun and Moon
Then the rest of the cast is welcomed
How the arrangement would go from left to right I was thinking
Law Enforcement and basic background cast making up crowds, Freddy, Gregory, Sun, Y/N, Moon, Eclipse, Michael, Other Aftons and Spy, rest of Law Enforcement and basic background cast making up crowds
AAAAAaaand thats what I've got.
@naffeclipse did you catch all of that?
and @sunnys-aesthetic for their detective au! :3
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twig-tea · 5 months
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Love Senior: Final Thoughts
I've been putting off making a post about this because I don't like trashing things that are small efforts and especially not GL because we don't get enough of it to begin with. But I was enjoying Love Senior through episode 7. The leads were lovely, they had chemistry, their characters were both interesting, and one of them had casual sex with someone else before they got together and it was fine! They even talked about it! And they were thirsty! I love it when women get to have sexual desire in shows.
After episodes 8-9, the narrative took a serious turn and I broke and wrote a content warning post because of how gross the turn in the plot was. With one episode left, I watched to see whether it would undo any of the damage it had done, but instead it doubled down on awfulness.
The last episode is truly a smorgasbord of some of my least favourite tropes all rolled up into one miserable finale, and makes the show truly unwatchable even though it delivers a "happy ending". It didn't make sense, it wasn't good characterization, it served nothing but unnecessary angst, and it meant we didn't even get satisfying reconciliation or dealing with the issues laid out in 8-9. After this ending, I was extremely unconvinced these two would last, or that they should.
I know this isn't the worst there is in the world of QL. I've watched a lot of stuff. I used to just stay quiet if I didn't like something, but honestly, I want folks looking for info about this show to know what to expect, and I also want folks creating content to know that audiences expect better these days. I don't want people to think GL flops because nobody wants to watch it. We're so desperate for good, or even half-decent content (the viewing numbers for GAP should have made that obvious)! But things need to hold together at least somewhat, and this very much did not.
Most of the cast in this show is in a girl group together, so you can support them, continue past the cut if you want details on what makes this finale suck (I've kept it vague but obviously there will be spoilers), and I hope this is taken as it's intended--to help inform the watching decisions of us who love GL and want more of it, and to give information to those making it.
[I'm just going to note also that this show was by StarHunter Entertainment which is not known for its queer rep or good treatment of its people, so I don't feel like I owe this production company any loyalty].
Details about the last episode under the cut.
In episode 10, the following happens:
we get told the SA that I warned about in my 8-9 post was just staged for the purposes of blackmail/breaking up the leads
[the show doesn't acknowledge that the characters were still left in a position that they could have still been sexually assaulted, and that they were put in that position by someone they trusted]
Someone gets hit by a car
One of the leads falls into a coma, and on waking, gets amnesia
Her friends and family conspire to lie to her, not just erasing her girlfriend from their picture of her life, but saying that one of her other friends who has a crush on her is her boyfriend. They all go along with this lie for months
On finding out that her girlfriend had been told that she's actually dating some other guy, her girlfriend decides to noble idiocy and disappear from her life
More time passes, and they see one another at the amnesia girl's graduation, and hug for a happy ending.
THE END.
No conversation. No reconciliation beyond acknowledgment that they still have feelings. No mention of their breakup before the coma. Nothing that convinces me this couple will actually last at all, or reason (in the form of character growth, or narrative purpose) for why they've gone through this. Nothing about the main character being lied to by all of her friends and family for months. This ending says 'everything is fine as long as the two people you want to be in a relationship are in a relationship at the end of the story', and that doesn't fly with me.
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netherworldpost · 7 months
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"Say, your advertising your project's existence was just a little zine, wasn't he?"
I will never advocate being anything less than professional with Staff. Raging user at social media network is not effective or good for anyone.
A(n alleged) decrease of commitment on their part to a platform I am committed to is not a comfortable position
Ultimately, they are treating this like a business decision, which is fair
So am I. We both have an equal right to self preservation and project growth.
Here is an outline post on how to make zines in the thought line of "I run a small widget and I want people to remember I exist."
It's not for everyone, it's not the only solution, it's not perfect, it's not a one-size-fits-all. You'll have to modify it.
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MY PLAN
My current numbers as of this writing is to produce a small zine using 1 sheet of paper on a custom-printed envelope and mailed to customers once a month.
Retail price will be $10/year, production cost per customer is just shy of $14/year, so each sign up costs the company $4/year (about $0.33/month).
Free shipping (simplifies things)
Billed 1 year at a time. Payment processing has a floor of $0.30, costs would be destroyed if we handled it monthly.
No auto-renew. This easily could become an experiential nightmare for customers and us as a shop. Reminders will be included during the last few months.
1 sheet of paper cut in half and folded in half stapled into a zine. Very limited space. Fun, bright, we can produce it quickly in-house. Small so it doesn't create a project backlog.
For us: this project is not to make money.
It is to remind folks we exist when they remember "oh hey Someone's Birthday is coming up, I should get a card from Netherworld Post Office. Maybe a few labels to decorate the envelope, a sticker or two for my water bottle."
From past experience, a handful-percent of customers on this kind of system will make the entire system profitable, annually.
The rest will enjoy it tremendously, which pays dividends in unexpected and myriad ways. Word of mouth of mouth of mouth of mouth of mouth (etc.)
Ultimately: the risk is brutally small.
YOUR PLAN
Can be whatever you want.
Part of the reason my costs are so high is because I want custom printed envelopes. If I got blank envelopes then rubber stamped them, I would save about 25%
But. I explicitly want crisply printed multi-colored envelopes
(because we are going to sell envelopes in time, so it's a continual proof of production in terms of what we can do)
You could also charge some or all shipping. Or raise the price. (Or not do any of this!)
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There is a pin company in Canada that sends me a reminder every six months or so that they exist and like clockwork I buy a packet of pins and stickers. Not every reminder, probably 2-3 times every 3-4 years.
Same idea.
Some folks will prefer email newsletters -- which they don't pay for, that's great, we offer that too.
Online advertising exists. It can be cheap. It is always at least medium-level complicated.
Moving into the woods and saying "no social media networks for this biz!" is not practical (or us and for many)
Rebooting an audience every 5-10 years on a different network is not practical
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I HOPE TUMBLR OUTLIVES ME
It is my sincere and legitimate hope that this site continues, grows, evolves, strengthens. For both personal and professional reasons.
I similarly recognize that my goals and theirs may not continue to align forever -- and that's far more my problem than theirs.
Here is the zine guide link from the beginning.
Here is our shop's landing page with newsletter signup for when we launch.
Good luck everyone (staff explicitly included in "everyone")
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kathaynesart · 1 year
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What advice would you give to someone who really wants to get into writing/drawing comics, but doesn't know how or where to start? What would you recommend? Even if/ especially if they already have a decent history in writing and drawing
SHORT ANSWER: Don’t do what I’m doing with Replica haha! I’m breaking all my own rules with this comic but maybe we can use it as a good example of what not to do in my rant below…
LONG ANSWER: (below the cut)
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Hoo boy… there are so many avenues this question could take. I assume you don’t necessarily mean entering the comic industry as a professional (there are far more experienced people you can ask about that). But simply drawing your own comics? I'll try my best to break down some of the basics I've picked up over the years. Note these are just my opinion and there is always room for other methods...
1. ASK YOURSELF WHAT KIND OF COMIC AM I DOING?
The first thing to consider is what is your intention with this comic? Do you want to tell a story centered around a preexisting fandom or tell a completely new story you came up with? What genre do you want to focus on? I'd recommend finding something that really sparks your interest, because you're going to be working on it for far longer than a regular art piece. Plus if you like it, someone else is bound to like it as well!
2. ASK YOURSELF DOES IT NEED TO BE A COMIC?
This may sound silly... but often times I find people fail to take into consideration whether or not the story they are telling works best with the medium they are considering. Had I done Replica as a fan fiction, I would be much farther along with it... but with comics there comes a wide range of subtle visual cues, parallels, and symbolism I can use that I wouldn't be able to show through writing. The written word also has many strengths that comics lack... it just comes down to what you want to be able to show in your story.
3. KEEP IT SHORT AND SIMPLE
If this is your first time doing a comic, I recommend not overextending yourself with some grand epic that is going to take you forever (like Replica haha.)
Example: Years ago a close friend and I did a webcomic called Perpetual Flux that we were unable to finish. It went for about 2-3 years, was over 110 pages long, and yet we had only managed to get about 3 chapters into what would have probably been a +30 chapter story. We came up with this huge epic we wanted to tell and while it was a story we still wanted to finish, it just became impossible to continue as our lives and availability changed.
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So start small! And take that experience you gain into bigger, future projects. Obviously I have not learned my lesson with Replica, but at least with this project it's something I can do on my own time and is supported by a wonderful community who keep me inspired. Speaking of which...
4. FINDING AN AUDIENCE
If it’s a story based off something with an existing fandom then half the work is already done! You just need to start interacting more with people in that fandom, and I mean really interacting. Talk to other artists, join Zines, leave comments, and share other people’s work. It can foster a community and help you be a part of the fandom so that people will be interested in what you have to share.
If it’s a new story you’re going to have to create your own community. Nowadays it’s easier than ever to get your work out there, but the competition for eyes is much steeper. What I find that works is rather than starting the comic cold turkey, draw out some highlights from your future story. Moments that have yet to unfold that might wet a random viewer's appetite for more. Kind of like… a trailer for what’s to come. Keep dropping those little crumbs of interest as you prep your comic to garner some interest and that way when you do start you may already have some followers who might share your work around!
5. CONSISTENCY IS KEY
Get into the habit of drawing and writing regularly. I know it can be a hassle and the last thing you want to do is make it a chore, but like exercising I find that the more I do it, the easier it is and the better I feel about it. Nowadays I feel weird if I'm not at least writing some script or drawing a few sketches towards my comic/projects every day.
Also, if you can make sure to update fairly regularly (something I also fail at with Replica haha, but at least I try to post little things here and there when time allows). It's important to let your followers know that you are still there and you care! It also helps keep you at the front of their minds. My fellow Apocalypse AU creators Cass and Tapakah0 are GREAT at this as they post a ton! It helps garner a strong community and a lot of continuous excitement! I wish I had that same energy and time but you'll have to make do with my old-lady pace of things, bless you all haha.
6. GRAPHIC DESIGN
Obviously as a writer and artist you're used to doing both... but with comics there's another aspect that can come into play. Graphic design! Whether it's your title, your font choices, the word bubbles, or the way you break down the panels, these area all things you should take into consideration. For example, every webcomic has panels, but they can vary tremendously in style. Because of Tumblr and the nature of the scroll method I chose to forgo the typical "comic book style" for more of a... loose storyboard feel where I care more about the angle of the shot within each panel rather than how these separated images link up to one another. Where as with Perpetual Flux, it was laid out on actual comic pages so we had to take serious consideration into how they fit together within each page. IngunnSara is also a great example of this more traditional method of paneling and it's gorgeous and difficult and they have my utmost respect for pulling it off with Hamato Wanderers! So I recommend looking to some of your own favorite comics and see what jives with you.
7. FIND A STYLE THAT WORKS FOR YOU
Also failed this with Replica haha, but to be fair I went right into it with the intent on learning the style as I went. But I recommend having some grasp on the style you want to use and whether or not it's a viable to be drawing over and over again for your comic (for example, if you make it too detailed it will take you far longer to draw!)
8. FORGET ABOUT PERFECTION
Perfection is a lie. There is no place for it in art, especially if you're just doing this for your own pleasure. Don't strive for it. Don't worry about it. Don't compare yourself. Just keep doing what you're doing and keep learning from it. You'll get much farther!
Ok... hopefully that helps a bit. I'm sure there's plenty more to talk about but I feel like I've talked enough for now. Thanks for listening to my TED Talk and lemmed know if you manage to get your comic off the ground :)
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