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femslashhistorian · 5 years

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Supercorp AU Fic Recs Part 4 - Different Realities

In the fourth part of my SuperCorp (Supergirl) AU Femslash Fanfiction Recommendation, I have collected 13 excellent Kara Danvers/Lena Luthor Alternate Universe (AU) stories which Kara and Lena live very different lives and meet under very different circumstances from the show: Stories in which they are actresses, models, singers, figure skaters, baristas or professional cuddlers - and one in which Kara is French. This collection includes many of my favorite SuperCorp fics and is maybe the ultimate testament how many talented authors have poured their creative energy into different ways for Kara and Lena to fall in love.

Nearly all of the included stories are No powers AUs, in which Kara is human. All of the stories have a happy ending.

Overview of the 13 Kara / Lena stories

Detailed recs and links after the cut. My favorites are marked with *

A) Actor and Model AUs

No one mourns the wicked * by kellsbells: The wickedly angsty musical AU

We're playing to a full house, darling (but this show can't go on) * by The_Ominous_Owl: The actors AU in which Kara is an actress that used to play Supergirl

Blockbuster (it's the movie au ok) by unnecessary_databass: The nonlinear actors rom-com

Maybe we were made to dance around each other, babe by goon: The Kara/Lena and Alex/Lucy model/singer AU

B) Coffee Shop/Barista AUs

Dripping Onto You by spymaster: The Barista & Public Pool AU

The Name Game - A SuperCorp Coffee Shop AU by DKGwrites: The Coffee Shop AU

C) Other Job AUs

These feelings I can't fight * by Jazzfordshire: The Ice Skating AU

Hold me, my dear (and don't let go) * by potstickermaster: The Cuddler Fic

D) Fluffy/Happy No Powers AUs

As luck would have it by spacemanearthgirl: The fake dating AU in which Lena rescues Kara from Mike

Jar of Happiness by Cloud_Lightning: The sweet AU in which the Luthors are not evil

Of Charcoal Lines and Accents by IHaveTheWrongGlass: The College AU in which Kara is a French exchange student

I'll be your muse? by heryellowcup: The College AU in which Lena models for Kara’s art class

What if I asked you to stay? * by heryellowcup: The one in which Kara and Lena are neighbors

This series includes

Supercorp AU Fic Recs Part 1 - Distorted Realities: of Time Travel, Amnesia and Black Mercies [tumblr] [WordP]

Supercorp AU Fic Recs Part 2 - Hope and Despair: of Lighter and Darker Worlds [tumblr] [WordP]

Supercorp AU Fic Recs Part 3 - Complicated Realities: Weddings, One Night Stands and Friends with Benefits [tumblr] [WordP]

Supercorp AU Fic Recs Part 4 - Different Realities: Actors, Baristas and Other No Powers AUs [this post] [tumblr] [WordP]

Notes:

Originally this was planned to be the last AU recs part, but there might by one more. This collection took me a while to compile and I concluded it in July 2019 (between the end of the shows 4th and before the 5th season), but most stories were written and finished long before that.

This post might be a bit long for tumblr and with the links above you can also the complete series on my blog.

A) Actor and Model AUs

The actor AUs of course share a few similarities (and I loved them all) but they all are quite distinct and different enough to include all of them here.

One aspect in which they are clearly different is in the amount of angst: Most of them are not to not particular angsty, but No one mourns the wicked has a substantial amount of angst. It also carries over the strongest Lena tries to redeem for the sins of her family vibes from the show, although this is also present in we're playing to a full house, darling.

1) The wickedly angsty musical AU

No one mourns the wicked by kellsbells

Kara Danvers/Lena Luthor (Supercorp) (f/f)

Completed, 16 chapter, 69k words, 2017-2018

Mature

Lena Luthor has just reluctantly returned to her role as Elphaba after a messy break up with her co-star. Her new co-star is a young, enthusiastic and incredibly talented performer who initially drives Lena crazy in the worst way. In time it becomes clear that they have a less-than-ideal history, along with a chemistry that neither can fight. Can they make it together despite the history between them?

This actors AU that takes place behind the scenes of a Wicked musical production. You don't need to know anything about musicals or the particular musical that is featured in this fic (I did neither) to enjoy the story, the story explains everything you need to know (and not more). This is a no powers AU, but the author manages to construct a background that creates a very similar tension between Kara’s and Lena’s families (and where Kara is coming from) as the Super vs Luthor dynamic in canon.

While this is clearly a Kara / Lena story, this is not the only relationship we come across in the story. There is background Sanvers (pretty usual in SuperCorp fics) and there are more past and present ships that are discussed and/or shown: we have Kara / James and a hint of SuperCat (actually Kara crushing on Cat) and several reverences to one of Lena's previous relationship. I loved that Cat was Kara’s mentor and how the story dealt with Kara’s crush on her.

This is a novel length story with a long story arc with ups and downs: while most fanfics have a relatively linear romance progression towards a happy ending, this one has a more complex plot that features a pretty substantial crisis in their relationship (that I don't want to spoil).

This is a brilliant, very well written story. A long story that was very well paced and never felt too long. Absolutely loved it. One of my favorites.

Favorite Quote

You need your pills, am I right?”

Lena looked startled, but nodded. ...

“How did you know?”

Kara touched Lena’s forehead gently, right between her eyes.

“You get a tiny line here when you’re especially tired or in pain,” she said, stroking Lena’s forehead slightly with her thumb automatically. She swore internally when she realised what she’d done.

Lena took a breath, one that hitched just a little, and Kara took her hand back.

“You always knew me best,” Lena said, turning away.

I thought I did.

2) The actors AU in which Kara is an actress that used to play Supergirl

we're playing to a full house, darling (but this show can't go on) by The_Ominous_Owl ; @the-ominous-owl

Kara Danvers/Lena Luthor (Supercorp) (f/f)

Completed, 9 chapter, 37k words, 2017

AU, actors, fandom, consAU, actors, fandom, cons

Kara’s struggling to find work. Lena’s struggling to find herself. When fate (with some help from Cat Grant) casts them into the same orbit they find themselves completely off-script, because while everyone knows about the sins of the father, they're somewhat less clear about the sins of one’s siblings. Throw into that an audience hungry for stories at the expense of fact, a showrunner with a plan nobody saw coming, and a co-star who steadfastly refuses to keep it in his pants, and you’ve got a tale so dramatic even the protagonists have noticed. or the one where they’re both actresses with a surprising amount of baggage for two people who haven’t met yet.

Kara Danvers is an actress who played Supergirl in a series of movies until her boss Lex Luthor ruined the movie series, the whole studio and it seems Kara's whole career with it. Set behind the scenes of a successful crime mystery show, at the core of this story is a love triangle. While Mon-El/Mike, Kara and Lena love triangles are not that unusual in Supergirl fic, this story turns it on its head as Lena and Mike are a coupe at the start of the story (or are they?).

Usually I don't like love triangle all that much, but I enjoyed it in this story - I guess because it was written well, was less of a traditional triangle, and ultimately nobody I cared about got hurt. (emphasis on nobody I cared).

While there is drama and angst, it is pretty benign compare to No one mourns the wicked. I really enjoyed the look at fandom, especially when the cast of the crew went to a con. This is a wonderful and well written story that I loved.

Favorite Quote

“What?” Alex looked up at her, distracted, then waved a hand. “Your thing’s easy. Lena’s in love with you but she’s convinced herself that she doesn’t deserve you because her family looks like a Bond Villains Anonymous meeting and she thinks you’ll never reciprocate,” she explained, glaring back down at her phone and oblivious to the way Kara was staring at her with wide eyes, her mouth opening and closing soundlessly. “My thing is that Lucy is being a stubborn, infuriating pain in the—what?” she asked, finally looking up to notice her sister’s poleaxed expression.

It took several seconds for Kara to force words up through her throat. “Lena doesn’t…She’s not…”

Alex smiled sadly at her, leaning over to rescue her ice-cream before it slipped from her slackened grip. “Kara, I love you, but there is a reason I am a cop and you are an actress. Trust me, Captain Oblivious, Lena’s been completely gone on you for months, ...

3) The nonlinear actors rom-com

blockbuster (it's the movie au ok) by unnecessary_databass ; @unnecessary-database

Kara Danvers/Lena Luthor (Supercorp) (f/f)

Completed, 30 chapter, 90k words, 2018-2019

Kara Danvers and Lena Luthor are the stars of a groundbreaking new lesbian blockbuster. It's the film that makes you cry, wins all the awards, and defeats all the stereotypes. And the chemistry between the stars in real life is insane. Everyone says so. Except for them. Mhm.

it's the freaking movie au all in one place wouldya look at that

This is an oblivious idiots in love rom-com. Unusual for fanfic it is a non-linear fic, in fact it jumps around quite a bit in the timeline and it is done very well.

This well written fic started out as a serial fic on tumble.

Favorite Quote

“I still don’t understand what’s so funny about my abs,” Kara said petulantly, jerking her hips so Lena rolled off her.

“Because you eat like a starving five year old at a birthday party whose parents never let them have sugar,” Lena said, waving aside the information like it wasn’t important.

4) The Kara/Lena and Alex/Lucy model/singer AU

maybe we were made to dance around each other, babe by goon

Kara Danvers/Lena Luthor (Supercorp), Alex Danvers/Lucy Lane (Director Danvers) (f/f)

Completed, 4 chapter, 21k words, 2017

The next day, Kara's phone almost overheats from the sheer number of text messages she receives. Most of them are from her publicist, insisting she call them. Some are from Eliza and Alex and the other angels, others from people she hasn't spoken to in three years and one from Lucy just reads, hahahahahahahahahahahaha with a thumbs up emoji.

The close to crack AU where Kara and Lucy are models, Lena is a popstar and Alex is like wtf (basically the Karlie Kloss and Taylor Swift AU)

Unusual for fan fic there is not a main and a background pair, but two equal main relationships: Kara/Lena (SuperCorp) and Alex/Lucy (Director Danvers).

Each of the four chapters in told from one of the four protagonists point of view. One from Kara, one from Lucy, one from Lena and one from Alex. And this works amazingly well.

This is a pretty angst free story especially for Kara and Lena. There is a bit of angst for Lucy as without wanting to, she is falling in love with Alex, while doubting that Alex really does want a relationship.

Pretty lighthearted. An excellent and well written fic, that I enjoyed.

Favorite Quote

"I'm on a massive billboard in front of your apartment!"

Lena gives her a puzzled look, eyebrows drawn together. "My band is on the massive billboard next to your massive billboard in front of my apartment, and we're also on the cover of Rolling Stone this month."

Kara winces. "Cool, so I'm just blind and deaf then." Lena grins at her knowingly, probably because she's too nice just to say yeah, you are, or maybe because this method is extra smug. She opens her mouth to say something else, but Lucy stumbles back into the fold, cheeks flushed and glowing.

B) Coffee Shop AUs

1) The Barista & Public Pool AU

Dripping Onto You by spymaster ; @spymasters-blog

Kara Danvers/Lena Luthor (Supercorp) (f/f)

Completed, 4 chapter, 23k words, 2017

Meaningless sex to lovers

Kara went to relax at the pool where she met with Lena and they fucked in the shower room

In this no powers AU Kara is a barista. The story, however, does mostly takes place outside a coffeeshop. Lena and Kara meet at a pool. They have sex. Lena never intended for this to mean anything, but things turn out differently.

This medium length story has a satisfying story arc but ends long before a full novel plot. I enjoyed it.

2) Coffee Shop/Barista AUs

The Name Game - A SuperCorp Coffee Shop AU by DKGwrites

Kara Danvers/Lena Luthor (Supercorp) (f/f)

Completed, 1 chapter, 11k words, 2017

Kara Danvers, an art student in National City, works part-time at her local coffee shop. Every morning while she works there a mysterious woman shows up and orders a cup of coffee but always with a different alias. At her sisters coaxing, will Kara finally get up the nerve to ask this mystery woman her real name? When she does what will happen next, and will fate rear its ugly head?

This is a wonderful, sweet and funny no powers rom-com. I loved the Sanvers & Kara interaction. Alex and Maggie tease her mercilessly but they support Kara lovingly.

Favorite Quote

“Maybe you should ask her,” Alex suggested.

Kara sighed. “That would require talking to her, wouldn’t it?”

“That’s generally part of the whole dating process,” Alex replied.

“Argh.” Turning and falling onto the couch, Kara flopped back. “Not my strong point. Can’t I just be pathetic and long for her?”

C) Other Job AUs

1) The Ice Skating AU

these feelings i can't fight by Jazzfordshire ; @jazzfordshire

Kara Danvers/Lena Luthor (Supercorp) (f/f)

Completed, 3 chapter, 28k words, 2018

Mature

Kara only gets better with each practice session, and slowly Lena comes to accept two things. One, Kara is an infinitely better fit as a partner than James ever was; and two, she’s hopelessly attracted to her. OR

When James gets injured, Lena needs a new ice dancing partner if she wants a chance to qualify for the Olympics. Kara Danvers offers her services, and Lena is thrown headfirst into a gay panic.

I watched a little bit of figure skating when I was younger, but I don’t have a clue about it - and this does not matter at all to enjoy this story.

Why is this such so brilliant, perfect AU?

Everything is different, but the core dynamic and characters are intact. In fact, Kara and Lena are spot on. And so are all supporting characters: Alex, Sam, James, J'onn, even Winn have roles that are true to their characters and fit nicely into this world.

The love story is powerful and beautiful. There is a perfect setup and just the right backstory to create a brilliant but troubled and lonely Lena. The right amount of tension with her mother. The perfectly balanced obstacles to create the Romeo and Juliet dynamic that is in the heart of so many Supercorp love stories in a universe without Supergirl/superpowers.

And finally, there is a perfect balance of romance and angst that makes the conclusion even sweeter.

This is a brilliant and very well written fic that I adore. Jazzfordshire is a fantastic author and I think this story is a masterpiece.

Favorite Quote

There are a hundred little things she misses about Lena. She misses her scrunchy smile and the high, surprisingly girly sound of her laugh, which she always tries to hide with a hand over her face. The prominent beauty mark in the middle of her throat, the one that practically calls out for Kara to kiss it. She misses the way she runs her teeth gently over the edges of her fingertips when she’s nervous without biting down, as if she’s trained herself to stop chewing her nails but finds the memory of it comforting. How she somehow manages to always smell good, even after four straight hours of exercise.

2) The Cuddler Fic

hold me, my dear (and don't let go) by potstickermaster

Kara Danvers/Lena Luthor (Supercorp) (f/f)

Completed, 17 chapters, 119k words, 2017-2019

Service provider/client to friends to lovers

“So… How is this done?” She asks seriously, to which she replies, quite simply, “We get on the bed and we cuddle." Lena Luthor is the last person to admit she's touch-starved, but after one hour of service from Kara Danvers, professional cuddler, she finds herself craving it.

Apart from no powers this AU is relatively close to canon: Lena is the CEO of L-Corp and Kara is a professional cuddler (and in her day job she is a junior reporter at CatCo).

This is Lena centric fic, told purely from her POV. It covers a range of popular and important SuperCorp themes:

Kara has a cute pet (her puppy Krypto). Lena's difficult relationship with her mother Lilian (who is not evil in this fic) and their work to salvaging their relationship. Glimpses of a past Lena/Jack relationship. Lena as CEO and scientist. Her loneliness.

Lena has exactly one (1) sassy friend, and in this story it is Veronica. While she only has a small part and is crass and a bit of an asshole, I loved Veronica and her friendship with Lena. And especially her comment in the quite intense sparring scene: “Please don’t fuck on my ring …”

We see Lena slowly falling in Love with Kara, at first without realizing it. And her uncertainties and fears.

This wonderful and beautifully written fic is one of my favorite stories.

Favorite Quote

Lena chuckles again. “... but I didn't expect you , is all.” She gestures for Kara to sit down. The blonde doesn't take the offer though, only continues to speak.

“Ah, right. Ta-dah,” the blonde makes jazz hands. “My day job—junior reporter at CatCo. Can I just say that it’s really nice to see you outside the bedroom?”

She laughs, then halts completely and she frowns. “Okay, that- that sounds wrong. I just mean it’s good to—” She flails her hands and laughs again, the sound strained this time. “It’s good to see you, is all." Lena is unable to hold back an amused smirk as she replies.

It isn’t odd why meeting someone new makes her nervous. It’s not the first time she felt such trepidation either. She has grown hesitant meeting anyone that isn’t with the facade of business; she hasn’t done so for a long time. Kara had been different—she had been introduced to Lena’s life at the pretense of some service, and the offer of friendship had been after the fact. The idea of meeting someone, Kara’s sister no less, is something that she thinks she can handle, hypothetically, but it doesn’t mean she wanted to do it.

D) Fluffy/Happy No Powers AUs

1) The fake dating AU in which Lena rescues Kara from Mike

As luck would have it by spacemanearthgirl ; @spaceman-earthgirl

Kara Danvers/Lena Luthor (Supercorp) (f/f)

Completed, 7 chapter, 30k words, 2017

Who knew that bumping into a stranger in a bar could turn into this? Or Kara meets Lena at a bar then Lena pretends to be her girlfriend to get rid of Mike.

This no powers AU is pretty close to canon: Lena is the CEO of L-Corp, Kara is a reporter. Technically this is a fake dating AU, but only the first chapter: although they just met in the bar for the first time, Lena helps Kara to get rid of Mike/Mon-el by pretending to be Kara's girlfriend.

No drama, no action, no angst. Just romance and fluff. I really loved their first date. A wonderful and very well written story.

2) The sweet AU in which the Luthors are not evil

Jar of Happiness by Cloud_Lightning

Kara Danvers/Lena Luthor (Supercorp) (f/f)

Completed, 1 chapter, 6k words, 2016

No powers, Luthers are not evil AU

It was just a joke from Lex when he told his sister that maybe she really should start to put a dollar in a jar every time people told or ask her whether she and Kara were in a relationship. Plus Lillian really wanted to win the betting pool. Lionel promised to not make another bet. And Lena just wanted to fill the jar with a piece of paper containing the details of her happiness.

Kara and Lena become best friends and Lena is afraid to ask Kara if she too feels more than friendship for her. The jar of happiness is a nice idea and done well.

This is a cute and sweet story that I enjoyed.

3) The College AU in which Kara is a French exchange student

Of Charcoal Lines and Accents by IHaveTheWrongGlass

Kara Danvers/Lena Luthor (Supercorp) (f/f)

Completed, 1 chapter, 32k words, 2018

Explicit

Introvert animation student Lena is left to take care of the the new French exchange student. Abandoned by her family who've decided to go on holiday, how will Lena survive trying to take care of a flirty, bubbily blonde?

It's only 6 months, what could go wrong?

In most SuperCorp AUs in this collection some core aspects of Kara's and Lena's life stay unchanged or are only slightly changed: Kara being a reporter, having lost her parents as a teenager or suffered a big tragedy in her childhood; Lana being rich / a CEO, has a problematic relationship with her family, her brother committed crimes. This story, however, has more differences different, it actually reminds me a bit of Korrasami (modern day) AUs that I have read.

Lena's family is not evil but absent for most of the fic. As a college student without a tragic upbringing, Lena feels very close to her character in the show. Kara is enthusiastic, likable and a bit strange, her backstory however is very far away from Canon and she is much flirtier than on the show. As the story is told exclusively from Lena's POV we don't get to know French!Kara that well.

I liked this light and angst free story.

Favorite Quote

Kara, in all her smug Frenchness, looked Lena right in the eyes as she paid for not only a bullet vibrator but also a small dildo. It only got worse because Lena was under the impression that both were for Kara, but oh how wrong she was. Nup. Because as soon as Kara paid for it, she linked their arms and pulled Lena out of the shop. It was only once they were walking down the path that Kara, in her fucking beautiful accent, bent to whisper in a bright red ear.

“I bought the phallus for you, mon chéri. It’ll help with the stress.”

4) The College AU in which Lena models for Kara’s art class

I'll be your muse by heryellowcup

Kara Danvers/Lena Luthor (Supercorp) (f/f)

Completed, 1 chapter, 13k words, 2018

She’s sitting on a simple chair, stark naked, and Kara forgets how to breathe, just for a second. Maybe more than that, perhaps a few too many. She vaguely remembers their prof telling them about a model, but he has clearly left out some very important details. Like the fact that she’s an act model, or the fact that she’s incredibly stunning in a way that makes Kara’s heart stop momentarily, then speed up immensely right after.

Or, Kara is an art student in College/University and Lena is the stunning act model she immediately falls for

There is not that much story above what is stated in the author's blurb. Told exclusively from Kara's point of view, this story very much focuses on the here and now: Kara is completely fascinated by Lena and starts crushing on her as soon as she sees her for the first time.

I loved how Kara is flustered constantly and gets teased mercilessly by her sister Alex and her best friend Sam.

Funny, fluffy, sweet, no angst: this is a beautifully and well written story that I enjoyed a lot.

Favorite Quote

If there’s one thing Kara can’t deal with, it’s compliments. Another one being pretty women, meaning that she’s literally turned into a puddle of incomprehensible stuttering at this point, unable to find the words she’s looking for, unable to act like a normal human being around Lena. She’s almost surprised Lena’s still there with her, still talking to her.

5) The one in which Kara and Lena are neighbors

What if I asked you to stay? by heryellowcup

Kara Danvers/Lena Luthor (Supercorp) (f/f)

Completed, 1 chapter, 17k words, 2019

Mature

Neighbors to friends to lovers

She forces the words out of her mouth before she can think of the certain humiliation that will come with her question. They don’t know each other, the encounters they’ve assembled together are countable on two hands, the times they’ve actually talked to each other on one. It’s foolish to even entertain the thought, foolish to think of Mike’s priceless face when he hears about this, hears about Kara saying yes - because she most certainly won’t.

“You could stay with me, if you wanted to.”

Or, Lena invites her charming neighbour (that she totally does not have a crush on), Kara, to live with her while her apartment's being fixed. Lots of mutual pining and some smut ensues, but it's mostly just them being adorable.

This novella length no powers AU is told from Lena's POV (nice character study).

There is no substantial amount of angst. The story is funny, romantic and very well written. I loved it.

Favorite Quote

Leaning back against the wall, Mike looks at Lena and embarrasses her further. “The infamous U-Haul, huh?”

Lena feels her cheeks turn red and her heart speed up while Kara reduces her own reaction to nothing but furrowed eyebrows. She notes how flustered Lena is, she has to, but in the end all she does is tilt her head and regard Mike with a curious look. “What?”

The way Lena’s stomach sinks is more humiliating than the situation itself. The joke is lost on Kara, which can only mean that clearly she is not gay.

This rec was cross posted to Pillowfort, tumblr and my WordPress blog.

#supercorp #supercorp fic #supercorp fanfiction #supergirl femslash #femslash fanfic rec #dcu femslash #fanfiction recommendation #fanfic rec

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fanficwriter013 · 6 years

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The Tower - Chapter 23

The Tower: An Avengers Fanfic

Chapter 23

Chapters: one / two / three / four / five / six / seven / eight / nine / ten / eleven / twelve / thirteen / fourteen / fifteen / sixteen / seventeen / eighteen / nineteen / twenty / twenty-one / twenty-two / twenty-three / twenty-four / twenty-five / twenty-six / twenty-seven / twenty-eight

Word Count: 2015

Warnings: Depression, self-isolating behavior, extreme insomnia, cover story dating scenarios, angsty/dramatic conversation, smut (M/F, vaginal sex, slightly rough)

Synopsis: Things are rapidly disintegrating, but Elly manages to catch some alone time with Steve.

Author’s Note: Written with the light of my world, she keeps me from killing people. Kate @emilyevanston

Chapter 23 - Steve

The mission to the HAMMER facility had been a complete wash. No, Bucky. No, Wanda. Clint had been taken. They now had Alexa in custody but the fact that that seemed to be what she wanted put no one’s mind at ease. Everyone was paranoid about going back to the Tower because of it, so instead, we were taken to their SHIELD friend’s secret base.

The mood, in general, was one of defeat.

The fact others had rallied helped. Thor coming down from Asgard and Rhodey flying in was great. Scott Lang joined them too. All agreeing to stay until we had our missing numbers back.

For me though, I was not coping well. I was in a strange place with strange people. I felt like I couldn’t help. Everyone was in work mode and anytime I went near them I worried I was just in the way. I also had a deep mistrust of Coulson because Tony had let it slip that he’d once had a thing with Nat and Clint and it had only ended when he faked his own death. Everyone else seemed to forgive him for it, but my mind kept swinging back to how awful I felt right now that we had no idea where Wanda, Bucky, and Clint were, or even if they were alive, and how much it would hurt if they faked their death. I assumed there must be some reason that everyone else was okay forgiving him for it. When I looked at him I just saw a liar who thought it was okay to shatter the hearts of the people who loved him because of some ‘prime directive’.

So I avoided him.

I avoided most of them if I’m being honest. I withdrew to places in the building that were empty. If someone came into them, unless they were specifically looking for me, I just moved elsewhere.

I hurt. I kept thinking that all the words that had helped me in therapy had been a huge lie to further this plan to take down the Avengers. I couldn’t see why exactly that would be, but she wasn’t a therapist. She’d never wanted to help me. So maybe this whole thing was wrong. All the things I had struggled with and only now started coming to terms with reared up again. Building on my fear and isolation. I stopped eating. I barely slept. I just existed in a perpetual state of stress that was eating me alive.

It wasn’t until about four days into it when Sam came and found me that I started turning around.

“Here you are.” He said opening the door to the small office I’d hidden myself away in. “Why are you sitting in dark?”

I shrugged. “Just keeping out of the way.”

He came over to me and crouched on the floor in front of the chair I was sitting on. “When was the last time you slept?”

I shook my head. “Don’t know. It’s not … I can’t…”

He wrapped his arms around me and pulled me tight against him. I rested my head on his shoulder and just listened to the slow rhythmic beat of his heart. “Oh, princess. I’m so sorry. We’ve all been so caught up we forgot you had no experience with this kind of thing.”

“Not your fault,” I said quietly. “I just want them back.”

“I know. We all do.” He pressed his lips to the crown of my head. “We’re going to get them.”

“I want to help, but what can I do? I just thought it best if I stayed out of the way. I was gonna cook. But I don’t know this place.” I babbled.

“It’s okay. We shouldn’t have had our heads so far up our asses.” He said. “Look, Bruce just sent me down to find you. He wanted you to come look at something for him. But you need sleep. Go have some. Take Steve he hasn’t slept since he got here either. He might if he thought it would help you sleep too.”

I nodded my head and went looking for Steve. I found him in an operations room with Natasha, Coulson, and May. He looked exhausted. His normal straight posture gone, as he sagged on his feet. Dark circles under his eyes, and three days of facial hair grown in.

All five of them looked around when I came in. “Elly,” Natasha said. “I’ve hardly seen you since you got here. Are you okay?”

I nodded my head. “Really tired. Can’t sleep.” I said looking to Steve.

Natasha smirked at me and nodded. “Steve, why don’t you go with El. She might sleep better with you there.”

Steve looked startled. “I can’t. What if…”

“We’ll come get you if anything new comes up, Captain Rogers,” Melinda said as Phil clapped Steve on the shoulder.

“We’ll be fine. Just go grab a couple of hours.” Phil said.

I took Steve’s hand and he followed after me on autopilot. We went down to a dorm-like room and I pulled him onto the bottom bunk of one of the beds.

“I don’t think I can do this,” Steve said as he sat hunched at the end of the bed.

“I’m struggling too. Just come lie with me. You’re not a robot. You actually do need to sleep sometimes.” I said.

He kicked his shoes off and lay down, curling himself around me. I started to run my fingers through his hair and down the back of his neck in a soothing motion and he looked at me with those soft blue eyes. “I can’t believe this has happened again. He spent our childhood looking out for me and I can’t keep him safe at all.”

I ran my palms over his forehead and out into his hair. “Do you really think it was your fault?”

He broke eye contact with me. “I’m the one in charge.”

“Steve.”

“I know.” He sighed, burying his face into my neck. “What will I do without him?”

“Let’s not think about that for now,” I said softly.

“You didn’t try and tell me we’d get him back.” He murmured against my skin. “Everyone else keeps saying that.”

I shook my head. “I’ve never been through something like this before. I’m terrified I won’t see them again. If you want false words of placation you might need to go speak to someone else.”

Steve shivered against me and I ran my hands up and down his back. “No. I’m tired of people saying that to me. I’m just so used to losing everything. I’ve already lost everyone I loved once. It’s going to happen again. I thought he’d be there with me.”

I pressed my lips to the top of his head. “You don’t always have to be the strong one.”

He chuckled softly against my skin. “Doesn’t feel like it. When I was a kid I was really sickly, and I just fought so hard to never show it. I would fight everyone if I had to, to show I wasn’t weak. Now, I’m Captain America and if the exterior cracks for even a second everyone starts losing hope.”

“Well, I’m not everyone. I’m Elly and I love you, Steve Rogers. Even if you aren’t the strong one.” I said.

He broke down into tears against me. His large frame shaking with it. I held him and stroked his back and neck until he’d let all of that fear he’d been holding in out. “Were you and he together back before everything happened?” I asked. “Before you were, Cap?”

He nodded, wiping his eyes. “Sort of. Not officially. It was illicit. So he kept dating women too. I guess even back then polyamory suited Buck. So we kept it secret. Sometimes we even fought about it. That it was a mistake and we needed to stop. But we loved each other.” He paused for a moment and smiled. “Sometimes we would take dames out on a double date. Only they were lesbians. We would be their cover story. That was always his doin’. I always liked that. He always had such a big heart and need to protect people.”

It felt like my heart swelled up inside of me. “I wish I could have known you both back then.”

Steve leaned back and shook his head. “You wouldn’t have looked twice at me. Women rarely did.”

I laughed. “I don’t know. The Hulk told me he loved me the other day. I don’t go for the typical people.”

“He did what?” Steve asked his eyes going wide.

“Yep. I turn heads.” I joked.

“That’s a new one anyway. I’ve never heard about him doing something like that before.” Steve said with a shake of his head. “Well, maybe you would have looked. I guess we’ll never know.”

“I guess not.” I agreed. I ran my fingers through the scruff on his chin. “Try not to focus too much on what you’ve lost. Try and see the things you have as well.”

He smiled at me, it was tinged with sadness. He leaned in and we kissed. It was slow and tender, to begin with, but he quickly deepened it. His tongue came out to meet mine. I sucked on his plump bottom lip and the scratch of his scruff started to make my lips go numb.

One of his hands slid up under my shirt while the other pulled me against him. I could feel his cock straining at the fabric of his uniform.

“Steve?” I whispered, breaking our kiss.

“Please, I just need to feel you.” He murmured, his lips traveling along my jaw.

“Whatever you need,” I replied.

He rolled us over and we started to shed out clothes. It was frantic. Buttons were popped and sent flying and fabric was torn. We only managed to get Steve’s pants down enough that his cock was freed and he was inside me.

“Oh fuck, Steve.” I gasped, bringing my knees up and locking them around his waist. We were in such a confined space that there was barely any room to move, but he did. He fucked me hard. The bunk shook and banged against the wall. I ran my hands over as much of him as I could reach. We couldn’t stop kissing. Our tongues danced together. In the rare moments where our sheer breathlessness forced us to break apart, we would start kissing and sucking on each other’s throats.

We became slick with sweat, each thrust he made he pulled almost all the way out before slamming back in. He’d never just let go like this with me before. I was coming apart under him. Pleasure surged through me making me feel like I was going to split in two. I clung to him, dragging my nails down his back.

“Fuck… Steve… oh god… yes… fuck me…” I chanted as my orgasm approached. When it broke I arched up under him completely, crying out. Steve crashed his mouth into mine, smothering the sound. His hand went to my hip, as the other held a slat from the top bunk. His hips snapped forward suddenly and he came, biting down into my shoulder.

He collapsed down on top of me and wrapped me in his large arms, rolling onto his side. I snuggled into his chest and returned to stroking his hair.

“Thank you.” He said quietly.

I chuckled and kissed just under his jaw. “No need for that. I got something out of it too.”

“I didn’t mean that. I meant everything. Listening to me. Not just telling me things will be okay.” He said.

“Of course, Steve,” I replied. He brought his lips to mine and kissed me gently. “Now go to sleep. I’m going to stay awake until after you so you don’t try and sneak off.” I said when he pulled back.

He chuckled. “Don’t worry I’ll sleep.”

It wasn’t long until his breathing evened out and his body relaxed. Sleep came for me soon after.

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