#maybe i just need to start dating more autistic people actually
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i HAAAAAAATE it here had to interact with my ex in ap calc today doing boardwork and... it was so nice. pretty sure we both know that neither of us have ever had a chemistry like ours with anyone else—that ability to go back and forth for hours and understand some stupid bit the other came up with or feel so comfortable being unabashedly ourselves around each other. i made them laugh for like 10 minutes just by being myself. but they treated me like shit and i've convinced i'm gonna be searching for that connection high for the rest of my life. they're a little too easy to forgive.
#rambles#wonder if they're thinking the same thing right now (but i did nothing wrong)#(and they know that)#i felt so good about it for hours but then i have to remember everything they did or said to me and be like oh wtf am i doing?#i need more self respect than that#they shouldnt see that they make me happy when they have dragged me to my absolute lowest#maybe i just need to start dating more autistic people actually#anyways there's your dash of highschooler drama#oh literally already broke up with that girl btw LMAOOO
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As a writer, what are some elements that you would want to see included in a romance between a female autistic character and a male character (who grew up with a sister who is autistic? This is also a bit of a forbidden romance and I’m trying to plan this out well to be very respectful and good representation of the autistic community (idk if that’s the write phrasing so forgive me if I’m saying it wrong). I’ve already started research, but I just need maybe a few ideas/suggestions.
thanks!!!
Firstly, remember that no autistic person is the same so his sister being autistic doesn't mean he'll know everything about it or what it's like to be autistic. It would be nice to see some representation of how different autistic people can be by showing differing traits in his sister and the female love interest - eg, differences in masking, different sensory issues, different ways they stim, different ways of enjoying special interests etc.
You could show her struggling with aspects of dating culture (going out to bars which are loud and overstimulating? No thanks) and taking things literally (eg, being asked if she wants to go for coffee and saying no because she doesn't like coffee when the guy is actually trying to ask her on a date.)
Show that she is liked for her autistic traits, not despite them. Maybe he likes that she's very honest, or enjoys listening to her talk about her special interests. Let her be a fully 3-dimensional character wither her own likes, dislikes, goals and interests, and try not to fall into stereotypes.
Definitely don't treat it as if he's some kind of hero for dating an autistic person or for 'dealing' with her autistic traits! Like with any disability, that would be very disrespectful. Also I hope the forbidden romance aspect isn't because she's autistic? I'd need to know more context to know how I feel about that.
If you're not autistic yourself, please do get a sensitivity reader who is, whether that's a friend or a professional.
Speaking of good autistic representation - have you seen the show Dinosaur that came out recently? It's about an autistic woman and her relationship with her sister who's getting married, and it has a storyline where she starts dating the guy at her coffee shop. I love how she was portrayed (she stims with her hands in exactly the way I do!) and it's very funny and warmhearted, plus the lead actress is autistic herself, so if you're looking for inspiration definitely check it out. It's on Hulu and BBC iPlayer :)
#autistic#autistic characters#writing advice#actually autistic#dinosaur#its a spectrum#ask#anon ask#advice
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thoughts on leo valdez? headcdanons? i
[stares at own url] ...I'll give you one for free, lol
Aro/ace Leo.... listen. He explicitly states that he plays up his false persona in aspects that he feels are lacking in his actual personality in an effort to make people like him more, and in his POVs we get a lot of him doing acknowledged-as-nonserious joke-flirting as part of his false persona. Guy who doesn't realize he's aspec trying to overcompensate for his lack of attraction by excessively hitting on people to hide that he doesn't feel attraction towards anyone? Him wondering if he's broken in a whole bunch of ways and trying to make up for it externally while having an identity crisis about that? Something something metaphor about him wondering if cause he's a Hephaestus kid he's a little too much like a machine/robot and can't feel love or The Right Emotions In General™ because of that cause he doesn't know about aspec stuff yet (or that he's autistic)? Can anyone hear me.
Related to that: Leo landing on Ogygia (island of unreciprocated love) and meeting Calypso, who (probably through love magic) actually seems to be attracted to him? And him trying to force himself to reciprocate because he figures that's just how it's supposed to go and maybe for once he's actually experiencing romantic love? And he's so desperate for someone to like him and to feel useful to someone (re: 7th wheel)? But it fizzles out almost immediately after they leave the island, because the heart-eyes wear off for Calypso, especially once she technically no longer needs him, and Leo can't keep up trying to make himself reciprocate (and can't keep up trying to put his mask back up for her, especially now that Calypso seems to actually care about it). I am literally always thinking about this.
Short king,,, I don't care what anybody says he is NOT 5'6" that is way too tall for him. My guy is 5'5" absolute maximum. I usually place him at 5'3". Tiny guy. Made of pipecleaners. Built like Bilbo Baggins...
I've mentioned it before in a couple of places (i know [here] at least) but I did not like his fake-out death in BoO. Also I'm just mad about his dropped character arc(s) in general. My ideal substitute is that instead of dying and being revived, Festus just crashes in the woods nearby and Leo has overexerted his powers too much a la Nico's shadow stuff and is nearly dead but once they get him to the infirmary he recovers and can start working on recovering from his whole depression arc too. Also maybe he loses a leg in the crash so he can match his dad just for funsies, and so that there's some amount of consequence to his sacrifice to make up for him not dying (not like in canon there were any consequences to him dying and being revived anyways...). Also something something accidental Hiccup HTTYD joke. Leo with a prosthetic is always fun. More Hephaestus kids with prosthetics.
I am very amused by the concept of Leo never having any romantic attraction to Hazel at all, possibly even negative romantic attraction once he finds out she dated his great-grandpa (especially since in canon like 90% of his thoughts about Hazel are just kind of appreciative and genuinely thinking she's really cool, if a little confusing at first), and Hazel pretty quickly gets over her side of things once she gets used to the fact that this is Definitely Not Sammy, he just Looks Like Sammy (and does not actually act like Sammy, that's just a fake persona that is eerily similar by coincidence. Real Leo is actually quite reserved and not so much of a vocal goofball most of the time). So they're just besties after their mutual weird Sammy vision and understanding the deeper sides to each other and are each other's person they're most comfortable letting their guard down around cause they've formed that level of trust. Except Frank's over in the corner seething cause he thinks this is a love triangle but he's the only one who thinks that. Leo just thinks Frank hates him for the general reasons he thinks everybody hates him (which is just an assumption he's kind of used to and expects from people, so he does not question it at all). Hazel knows Frank thinks Leo is trying to steal her from him but she's having trouble trying to keep the two of them from nearly killing each other. It's a very homestuck auspistice dynamic.
Leo and Frank eventually work out their stuff and become very good friends to meeee... let them bond over their mutual fear of fire and dead mom trauma! they have so many parallels and I want the two of them and Hazel to be a funky cute little trio!
Dragonkin Leo! That boy is a dragon!!!! I usually say his stuff is kind of spiritual origin (he doesn't really know how to explain it other than his soul is just a dragon) versus like Jason being a wolf therian with a more psychological origin (being raised by an immortal wolf pack rubbed off on him) (rip Piper being the only non-alterhuman in their trio LMAO). I imagine whatever type of dragon he is probably is very similar to Festus, which is part of why Leo clicks with Festus so quickly - he just sees himself in Festus and it's very comforting to him. He definitely makes himself some fun 'kin gear, like a nice weighted tail and wings and claws to try and help his phantom shifts feel a lil less wonky. Also him having dragon talon weapons just sounds cool. He also totally makes gear for any other alterhuman demigods.
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Hello, if your requests are still open, I would like a Montgomery Gator x autistic reader. Reader is having a hard time and gets overstimulated by the noise going on in the Pizzaplex. Maybe Monty thinks the reader is mad at him because they are “ignoring” him, but they are actually just nonverbal and Monty doesn’t know. Angst with fluff at the end, please?
With love, Anon
Love you to anon! Mwah!
Montgomery Gator x overstimulated autistic!gn!Reader
Montgomery Gator x Autistic!Gn!Reader
Requests are closed! (For now)
Not gonna lie like 90% of this was just me projecting how I feel on bad sensory days lmao
The pizzaplex was one of your favourite places to be, you knew the layout like the back of your hand despite how large and winding it was. Since starting your relationship with Monty you’ve probably spent more time here than home.
This didn’t save you from getting overwhelmed however. Yes you loved the plex like a home but it was so much all the time. Bustling crowds mostly made of up noisy excitable children and their exasperated parents, fluorescent lights on full blast overhead and music/announcements blaring from the radio system.
You knew it was one of those days as soon as you cracked your eyes open, you’d been fighting the blankets all night, pissed off as soon as they touched you, ending up sleeping naked only under a single blanket even if it wasn’t weather appropriate. You’d played some music softly as background noise to help as you got dressed and ready to head to the plex. You shut that down promptly. The noise irritating you to no end.
Today was a safe clothing day, nothing restricting or clingy/warm, you already didn’t want to be in your body right now, let alone feel the clothing on you. The wait for the bus was uncomfortable, sitting in one place and counting down the minuets until you need to leave the house, stuck in waiting mode. The longer you sat the more apparent your clothing came. You rehearsed what you were going to say to the driver in your head until the bus arrived.
The actual bus ride was uneventful, slipping on your headphones and playing music just loud enough to cover the background noise.
Walking into the over glorified mall made you want to puke. It was the complete opposite environment you wanted to be in right now, but you really wanted to see your partner. You switch over from your headphones to ear defenders quickly, in your opinion if you can still hear the music over your defenders then it’s up to loud, fazbear. Adjusting your lanyard you read over the badges again. “Please don’t touch me or get to close” “I struggle to make or maintain eye contact” “I’m autistic, please be patient”
After flittering through the plex as fast as you can you beeline to Monty’s green room, ignoring the burning stares of people wondering why another guest is just waltzing into an off limits zone.
“Hey pipsqueek!” Monty bellows as you enter, raising from his sofa and tugging you into a tight hug. Usually this is welcome but right now it just raises your hackles. You don’t let it show, not wanting to hurt his feelings. “Hey big guy!” You muster up, albeit quietly. As you pull back Monty eyes over your lanyard, specifically the “please don’t touch me” badge. “Oh shit! My bad cher” he rubs a large scaly hand over the back of his neck and apologises. You wave your hand in dismissal.
“You still up for that bowling date?” He asks coolly, trying to hide his excitement. In all honesty you aren’t, you don’t want to do anything but lay in the dark and quiet, but you came all this way and you can’t bare to see the disappointment on his face if you turn him down. You give him a nod and a forced smile, it’s not that you don’t love spending time with your boyfriend, it’s just you don’t have the spoons right now.
Regardless you let him lead you to Bonnie bowl, nodding along to his rambling on the way, you let Monty grab your ugly bowling shoes, knowing your size off by heart by now. You wait in the assigned lane, flexing and unflexing your hands.
You smile and say a quiet thank you as Monty hands you to the shoes alongside your favourite flavour of slushy.
The first round is enough to get you agitated and anxious, the noise of the pins clacking harshly against the lane is obnoxiously loud. This added with the sound of other families chatting and the bright lights it’s a nightmare. Not to mention the mix of smells coming from the food stand making you nauseous.
You guess it had been a while since you stopped talking, bowling on autopilot and sitting back down until it was your turn again. You knew Monty had tried to talk to you but it wasn’t getting through properly, so hard to focus on what the gator was saying over your other senses being clogged. Eventually Monty pulls you to once side, concerned.
A worried look settles on his features, you swear you could see a little frustration under them to. “Are you made at me? Is it something I did? Because you’ve been ignoring me all evening and I’m sorry if I’ve upset you but I need to know what I did to be able to apologise.”
Your eyes widen in realisation and you flap your hand at him, signalling to give you a second. You rifle in your tote bag for a moment and fish out your phone, unlocking it and pulling up the text to speech app. Monty looks at you confused as you type as quick as you can, after a minute an automated voice rings from the phone. “I’m having a bad sensory day, it’s nothing you’ve done and I love spending time with you, I just feel overwhelmed and tired”
Monty’s face softens at this, relieved you’re not angry at him and that he’s not the cause of your discomfort. The larger leans to cup your face but remembers at the last moment. “Oh uh- can I touch you, cher?” You give a small smile, appreciating him asking first and nod.
Large hands cup your face gently. “I wish you had told me earlier cher and I would’ve gotten you outta here, no worries though, I’m proud of you for telling me pipsqueek.” You type for a moment more. “I’m sorry, I didn’t want to be a nuisance and ruin our date” you avoid his eyes.
Monty frowns and shakes his head. “Hey, none of that, you’re never a burden for having a bad day, doll. I love you even when you don’t feel good, remember that.” You nod and type again. “Love you too big guy, what now?” Your boyfriend chuckles and jerks his head toward the exit. “Wanna head back to my room? We can set the lights low and just sit in eachothers company, no need to talk”
You could cry from how sweet and understanding he is sometimes. You happily agree and make it back to his green room, spending the evening curled in your weighted blanket on the sofa, lights dimmed and star projector on. Monty is curled in a separate nest of blankets on the floor beside the sofa, letting out soft bellows as you run your fingers through his hair.
#montgomery gator x reader#montgomery gator#fnaf security breach#fnaf#five nights at freddy's security breach#five nights at freddy's#fnaf x reader#writing#my writing#autism#autistic reader#autistic writer#neurodivergent
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Do you have any Toby x reader headcanons 👉👈
Boy do I!
General Ticci Toby x Reader headcanons
I don’t think there’s any warnings needed here? Let me know if I missed them!
He’s not even going to try to hide the fact that he’s a serial killer when you start dating him. It’s just a part of him you’ll need to accept if you wanna be with him long term. Plus, unless you two meet at a costume party or something it’d be kind of hard to hide it in the first place, he never takes the mask off outside the house.
He’s kind of proud of his status as a proxy, he feels strong because of it, but he honestly treats the whole thing like a day job.
Like yeah he’s a killer, he has his issues, and he shouldn’t be woobified, but there’s more to him than just killing people. He likes making art- though he doesn’t think he’s good at it, he likes to listen to music and garden, and he watches the birds out in the forest.
Speaking of art, normally when he gets you a gift it’s something stolen, unless it’s a romantic gift. If he needs something for your birthday, a holiday, or a just for fun gift he’ll steal something, for valentine’s day or an anniversary he’ll make something. Even though he’s shy about his art he’s really good at wood carving, and makes you little carvings of the wildlife he sees.
Having a partner is a level of domesticity he hasn’t had in a long time and he craves it. He comes home tired from a long day of killing people and he just wants to eat and cuddle you until he falls asleep.
Out of any mask wearing creep he’s the easiest to get to take it off. It’s never gonna happen outside of the house, maybe not even outside his bedroom, and It’s still gonna be a while before he does it, a couple weeks, maybe a few months on the high end. But in his mind if you haven’t made fun of him for his tics you probably aren’t going to make fun of him for his scars.
Very much a hype man for his partner. Everything you do he’s cheering you on, even if it’s stupid he’s behind you all the way.
I’ve seen some people say he playfully insults his partner and I agree but it’s got a hard limit. You guys might call each other bitch playfully but he can’t do actual insults, even as a joke he can’t take insulting someone he cares about or hearing them insult him.
Also a guard dog type partner. If anyone says anything even a little mean to you you’ll have to hold him back from killing them.
He does give compliments frequently, words of affirmation (and giving gifts) is his love language for giving and receiving.
Toby’s autistic (on top of his other neurodivergencies) and would prefer a partner who’s got disorders like him. It’s not a dealbreaker if you don’t have any, he just likes the connection there.
#creepypasta x reader#ticci toby x reader#toby rogers x reader#creepypasta headcanon#zombie writes#for reference his other art is mostly emo ball point pen drawings in old notebooks#Love this animal the Tiby#I have more but i wanna get a request out today#i brought it up as a joke but i really like the idea of the creeps going to a Halloween party
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if you ever have the time and space to answer this i'd be very thankful
how can i take any let downs by friends less personal and continue giving people chances/inviting them in and being vulnerable without hurting myself/gettung hurt in the process? i'm guessing the answer is to find a balance, but are there ways to go about it easier? no matter how much i try to communicate and and manage expectations... i appreciate my friends greatly, but still i often feel let down when they cant come to things that are important to me though i understand that things can happen and theres usually reasons for not being able to make something and i am not their priority number one in a system that exhausts all of us- it just keeps happening and i don't want to grow bitter and alone but cherish the people in my life and trust they are trying their best
I think you can start by practicing being more flaky and unreliable and more reliant up on your friends' grace as well! When we feel resentful, it is often a sign that we are doing far too much, and not having our needs cared for. I used to be one of the most reliable mother fuckers around -- it was my senior superlative, actually, Most Reliable! ha! -- and I resented just about everyone for being less put together, less likely to follow through, less prone to doing what they said and saying what they'd do than me. I was a bitter little Type A overachieving cunt who considered myself superior to everyone (in part because my hyper literal Autistic ass believed that if you said you were going to do something, that meant you absolutely Had to Do It and Why Would Anybody Lie about a thing like that?)
Today I am a fuckin MESS and I am a much better person for it. I amble up just barely on time, I cancel plans, I forget things, I tell someone I can't make it even if in the most literal sense I could but I don't feel like it -- and many of my friends are tired, spent, fuzzy brained exhausted messes too! And it's fine! I have some friends that I regularly rely upon to cancel our plans because it frees up a little extra room in my schedule that I always wind up needing. I'm not mad or disappointed in them for bailing, my ass is relieved because I definitely have some shit to get to myself and probably four other people that I'm kinda letting down at the moment. It's not that any of us lack concern for one another, that's just what being a busy adult is in this day and age. We have work and creative pursuits and lots of friends and fucking and exercise and tile to regrout. Shit happens. It's not a big deal if I end up needing to see the movie solo or if we need to reschedule our breakfast date. Shit happens. I have too many actual problems to make a problem out of someone having a hangover and not being able to show up to my birthday or whatever. I missed their birthday last year, but I'll make it there this year, and maybe next time they'll make mine, too. The grace of accepting chaos washes it all away. My friends are my fellow comrades in the fuckin trenches and we each get to make one another's tours a little less miserable by understanding shit's crazy and fucked and that none of it is personal and that at the end, we still love eachother and are doing our best.
With time, may you find that kind of serenity and that ability to just keep on moving in life rather than fixating on the little slights and unpredictable things that will happen whether we fight them or not. Don't read too much into anyone's cancellation of plans or lateness or flakiness. Put your mind toward more interesting problems in your life, ones that some thinking can help solve. Easier said than done, but you'll get there. If my bitter anal retentive ass could become so sloppy and lovingly blase so can you!
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do you have any advice for opening commissions? i feel like you have them very professionally set up, and i have pretty bad social anxiety, so it might be helpful to hear tips for communicating with customers and such, or setting up a fair tos!
hi so, maybe i do have some advice!!! <33 thank you so so much for the kindness & seeing me as professional lol i’ve been doing comms for 2-3 years and i must say.. still getting the hang of a lot of things. you go through a lot of trial + error trying to figure out what works best for you, so remember theres no truly right way to go about comms! they should all fit the needs, pace, and benefit of you and your work ethic!
what i did personally is start off at some lower prices just to test the waters and get the ball rolling. i priced rendered characters at i think, $24 per character? possibly lower, i cant quite remember. and then i gradually went up as i started to progress in my art style more + had more people coming in.
with customers, i have a lot of anxiety as well! im autistic, so i never like making a customer feel like i dont truly care abt the commission by accidentally sounding too flat or anything. i tend to RLLY overthink it lol so we make sure we are extra talkative + kind about their comm! giving them compliments on the character, showing genuine excitement so they know theyre in good hands! (we love engaging esp when the customer seems VERY excited or enthusiastic abt the commission!)
a lot of irl turmoil tends to happen in our life which can make a comm delayed sometimes. could be severe mental health problems, just being busy w/ shit in general. its important to just keep your customers up to date, especially if its going to take a realllyyy long time or the customer likes frequent updates.
i used to be able to get shit done in like a night. but, with an actual line up/queue of comm work we progressively started taking longer and longer esp as we transitioned from a teenager starting out and into a busy adult with persistent mental health issues. (plus our art becomes more complex as time goes on, so that has to be taken into account) tbhs, depending on your availability and how much effort goes into your work, and as the demand grows, you need to charge accordingly and just be honest with your clientele.
as for TOS do what makes you comfortable! make your limits known and put your foot down when a request or any topic makes you uncomfortable. dont let your customers get inappropriate with you or try to make you feel bad if they dont wanna pay for what they ask for, etc. i also recommend requesting payment after sketch/half and half when starting out just so you can get some experience under your belt + assure future clients that youre professional n wont scam them! (if you plan on switching to payment upfront in the future)
just remember that u are not a machine, you are a human being making art for someone else. putting love n effort into your craft, time and effort. take your time getting the hang of comm stuff, things dont have to be perfect in your setup at first.
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I saw you hc L as autistic so maybe him with an autistic reader who's not the quiet type? (flappy hands, vocal stims, loud music instead of noise cancelling headphones; idk how to explain it)
-🦇
Summary: Headcanons for L Lawliet x reader. Both are autistic, but polar opposites in how they do things/handle their autism.
Credits: L Lawliet- Death Note, Divider- Benkeibear, Cover picture- Pinterest
A/n: Grrr I love getting to write for L! He's such a goober and I love getting to elaborate on my general headcanons for characters <3 ALSO 🦇 anon left a little bit ago, but I am still fulfilling this request they left for me so if you want the anon name, feel free to take it
Thank you so much for requesting!
Autistic!L Lawliet x Autistic!Reader who are polar opposites
L has always been rather quiet, even as a child
He didn't start talking until about 6, and even then he only began talking because it communicated his needs more efficiently
He prefers quiet spaces and being alone, because it allows him to focus more
He also hates chaos or unplanned things. If he has time to plan something out to a T, he can make sure nothing will go wrong, therefore insuring the safety of everyone
This being said, he never thought you were someone he'd remotely like being around, let alone dating you
No offense, but you are literally everything he hates
And when he comes into contacts with the things that make him uncomfortable (such as chaos, loudness, etc) he can get panicky
He will quickly become overwhelmed and irritable, meaning the littlest things can make him snap
If he can't focus how can he save the world? If the world isn't saved by him than who will do it? Panicking isn't helping though, it's making things worse. Oh god, he can't stop! He can't think straight long enough to calm down!
And then kaboom, he basically just shuts down
The second he met you he was on his guard, knowing this likely wouldn't end well
He prefers to not work with people, but he can handle them as long as they're quiet
This is entirely out of the question
As you can guess, your first meeting is almost a disaster
Well, everyone else didn't know it was a disaster of course. They actually thought it went pretty well!
But in actuality, L was completely overwhelmed by you
Not even you actually, just the idea that you might overwhelm him
TLDR: He became overwhelmed thinking about how overwhelmed you might make him, so you essentially did nothing wrong lol
After this, he keeps his distance
Of course though, this makes for a bad work environment
So he nervously invites you into his hotel room and explains things to you
How he feels around you, explaining his autism (which he refuses to do under normal circumstances), and asking you to explain yours as well so he can formulate an arrangement for you to be around each other without causing him to panic
After this communication is had, working together is a lot smoother
He considers you a better acquaintance than the rest of his employees
Meaning he feels closer to you
However, when you begin dating your differences are just another quirk to him that he finds endearing
He loves to see you get excited and flap your hands, he loves to see you dance to your loud music, he loves all of it
If he isn't in the headspace for loudness though, he will of course inform you before going off to be alone
If you want to try to accommodate his preferences into your behaviors is up to you, but he is perfectly happy either way
He finds himself feeling safe around you because of your loudness
Like, you are a German Shepard and he is a hurt bird
He'll hide behind you with his big ol' eyes staring at his surroundings while you fight off anyone that might be too much for him
And being exposed to you all the time helps him expose himself little by little to things that would previously make him very uncomfortable
For example, he can now go out in public without panicking over how many people there are and how many things could go wrong for short bursts of time
And he is now fine with soft music playing in the background while he works rather than just total silence the entire time
He also likes that having you around means you can do the talking for both of you and he doesn't have to actually break his focus for anything
the goobies <33
#death note x y/n#death note x you#death note x reader#death note#l death note#death note l#l lawilet#l lawliet x reader#l lawliet x you#l lawliet x y/n#l lawliet hcs
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I want to talk about Sara, because there's this tendency to dismiss her part in her own relationship with August, like because she's maybe new to relationships and because she's neurodivergent, she got tricked into being with him or taken advantage of or something, and I'm just not seeing it.
At the end of s1, Sara is explicitly taking her own future in her hands. I think that's actually one of the reasons that August even considered her a possible partner - instead of acting in the interest of other people (namely, Simon), she cuts a deal with August that serves her own interests. I think he really values that attitude, that sometimes you need to sacrifice things to get ahead, and the importance of self-motivation to get the things you want. So in that moment, she's embodying in that moment the things he values.
I think the moment Sara gets interested in August is after he kisses her in the stables. She didn't care about him either way but once he shows that tiny bit of interest she starts to consider him. And Sara explicitly wants what Felice has in s1--she wants the fancy clothes and the living on campus and the rich people sensibilities and yeah, maybe the boyfriend, too. And then once she starts thinking about it, it's easy to want those things so badly that she starts acting in service of actually gaining those things, even if that means sacrificing something of her own moral compass.
By s2, she feels this connection with August because they're the only ones who know what he did, and the only ones who know what she did to get herself ahead and live at Hillerska. I think as she spends more time with the girls and gets more of the ideas of what you're supposed to feel with a boy you love, she wants to actually try that out. Like, in a really standard teen need to experience everything kind of way. Yeah, the fact that she's autistic (as am I, the author of this post) influences the fact that she doesn't know all of the things the other girls take for granted in re: sex and love and how to navigate things with boys. But it doesn't really have anything to do with her drive to want to experience those things, and it's not about innocence as much as her not having friends at her old school and being less experienced because of that (and I think probably Simon is a little too overprotective, a thing he can't be in s2 when she's living away from home).
I also think it's maybe worth mentioning, that the girls initially accept Sara into their friend group because Felice likes her but also because she's kind of an anomaly at this school--she's not rich, she does things differently, and she looks to them in a way they don't look at each other. So like when she's questioning things they all know, they're kind of treating it like aw, honey most of the time. Until she steps on a social norm that they don't like, and then it's well, she never knew how to act, of course not. (which, honestly kudos to YR because that is a very real experience)
Anyway, back to August. Sara has agency the whole way through, she's just making bad decisions. She goes to him because she wants to sleep with him, she spends time with him because she likes it. She's not a poor little girl who thinks she's in love but she's being taken advantage of, she's a girl in love who makes some bad decisions because of it. Like, teenage love is SO STRONG because it's usually a newer emotion, and YR shows how that strength of emotion can lead to both good and bad decisions.
Plus, August genuinely likes Sara, too. Partly that's because he assumes she's more like him than she actually is. And partly because it seems like his idea of dating is usually really tied into clout chasing (ahem, Felice) and how to hold his status. Sara doesn't offer him anything status-wise, she's just actually into him, and she might line up with him in terms of goals. That's gotta be refreshing. Also, I love the part where he calls himself King and her Queen before promising not to hurt her. Like, that just hammers home the idea that he sees her as an equal not in status but in terms of like. morals, I guess? And that she sees this kindness in him that she thinks only she gets to see because they're in love, not because he usually hides it away since it doesn't benefit him personally in the world he lives in.
This is reinforced when August buys Rousseau and thinks that will stop Sara from leaving him after she finds out how he's been threatening Simon and taking everything but accountability for his own actions. Legitimately, August seems to think that she will support him, because she supported him with this secret before, and because, like him, she wants the personal status gain and can understand why he acts the way he does. The horse should prove his love, and the other things are just par for the course, baby, you get it, right?
She doesn't, though, and this isn't the point where we should be going oh no, August has been tricking this poor girl and she just finally is taking her life in her hands. It's the point where both of them are like shit, you aren't the person I thought you were, and it's because both of them make these big sweeping assumptions because that's easier than questioning really strong feelings like love and potentially losing that love right away. Sara sees that he's not the person she thought, but in a lot of ways, her whole story has been in her control.
She's just like Simon--young and in love and making choices that might blow up in her face and might make her see she's been wearing those rose-colored love glasses. But hell, at the time, those choices were the only ones to make, those choices were hers to make. Just because she chose badly doesn't mean she wasn't really choosing.
I just really love Sara, and I love how her neurodivergence is woven into the fabric of her story lines, but it's not the biggest thing. It's just like, how she sees the world, but she's still responsible for her own actions, and she's acting on love just like everyone else. And in high school, sometimes that means being in love with a boy who genuinely isn't very good for you.
#sara eriksson#young royals meta#young royals#sara and august#young royals analysis#can you tell i read a post this morning that made me so incensed i had to write a whole ass page about it? lmao
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I also wanna see hcs of Steven with an autistic reader (dating hcs ig, I'm also a Strangled Red simp and I'm autistic)
remember me. im alive . Im here to heal the drought . i am too tired mentally to do the whole format shebang maybe ill dress it up when i wake up ( it is currently 6:21 am for me and im not tired yet )
Actually i dont think i do anything that extra or fancy with my formatting other than the title which i added right now. so . Enjoy
steven x autistic reader!
♡ he's autistic as well ... like that "I hate people" type'a autism. at least nowadays! i think he used to have trouble with volume and tone before the incident and just generally get easily overwhelmed... and either freeze or start to go on a walk to take his mind off of things. stuff like that.
♡ He's also insanely autistic about battle strategies and its his special interest of sorts . like... not that much, he did ( in my interpretation and what is kind of implied? ) sweep everything with miki because she's a special charizard who just kind of. Is stronger in all ways.
♡ BUT! i think i mean this in the more pokeani style of battles - he's crafty and very observant of his surroundings and how to "Cheat" battles with it. wink
♡ anyways yeah autistic reader . hi . You came for dating hcs right .
♡ he tends to just live in his house, lurking, stalking, barely moving out of bed to eat - so you might have to help him with that. ... buuuut, if you're similar, then you two will simply just sit in bed staring at the ceiling all day . napstablook core
♡ he hasn't had much stimulation outside of taking care of his basic needs and like. i'unno. being alive in general. so if you have an interest he isn't too aware of, he's always very happy to listen.
♡ he's an extremely good listener- he'll be nodding and mostly silent, but he may ask questions once he's more comfortable with you. he is actively trying to engage with your interests, although his own autism makes his tone a little stagnant- if he sounds uninterested, it's not intentional. his voice just comes off like that.
♡ he particularly likes games and music although the interests and energy for them have wavered a lot for him personally - so if your interests align with those sorts of things, he'll definitely be on board. you being into something in a genre he used to like definitely gives him enough energy to try again.
♡ this eventually does end up with him having more energy to engage with things that used to give him joy in a similar way . mostly playing games... like, a pokemon stadium or battle revolution game if those existed in-universe? because he can't exactly uh. Battle for real anymore without hurting those around him. of course, he always has charizard on his teams front and center. it's not Her. but, it'll suffice as long as he distracts himself.
♡ truly, it's just like this. introduce things to him and he'll be eager to try or listen or talk to you about them.
♡ if you get overwhelmed anywhere, he is quick to move you out of the area and also maybe take away the overwhelming Element. if it's a person, well. he'll just basically glare at them. a silent 'Fuck Off'
♡ also he will personally appreciate it if you get him more clothes. having just a few sets is fine for his depression, but the more he realizes it, the fabric feels awful sometimes. mainly, his trainer outfit he usually goes outside with - it's very worn and torn and the material was always a little cheap... if you get him a replacement, he'll be all the happier for it.
♡ he'd also give the old one to you if you cared about that sort of thing, but he'd be tentative because. well. it's worn and torn...?
♡ unless you fix it up and sew it somehow. that'd be nice. Im getting offtrack
♡ if you draw, write, or do creative things - he's always happy to see them. he likes to simply wrap his arms around your waist, resting his head on your shoulder as he looks at what you're doing now and again... it's, calming? like, really calming. to be honest, he could do that forever and ever.
♡ until you two get hungry of course. but, until then.
♡ he does also of course engage and ask about things like your OCs ( if you have them ), worlds, writing, dynamics, headcanons - anything, everything.
♡ generally things like this are what he's happiest with . watching something with you or watching you do something as he lays back and relaxes. seeing you enjoy the things you like makes him feel a lot better even though its something so simple .
♡ ... S!3v3n is also similar, he's just much more quiet- basically nonverbal - about how he goes about it. those red eyes will always be watching intently though .
_____
sorry if these were barebones i didnt rlly know what to Go off of but yeah . he is autistic too !!!! the Tismry
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at some points i genuinely think the radqueer community has turned into a sort of maladaptive, harmful way of escaping from reality, if that makes sense. not in a "haha look at these delusional losers" way this is a serious problem that they really need to get therapy or /healthy/ coping mechanisms or some kind of help for.
like they've gotten sucked into a vacuum of "anything and everything needs a label if you don't have all these 3813481348034803480 labels in your label hoard with an in-depth understanding of every single one of them you're not /really/ radqueer you're probably a troll", for one. it's fun to collect tons and tons of labels (i do that! im literally agender and bi and celarsian and xenogender and librafluid and a billion other things) but there's a point where a fun hobby that you engage with casually and healthily turns into an obsession that you can't see yourself living with out and you use to fill a void in your life instead of actually getting help.
this is made worse by the fact that whenever people point this out to them to try and help, they instantly get defensive and act like you're trying to attack them - they've demonized any form of help or therapy or even coping mechanisms (besides "im gonna write porn of an irl minor to cope :3333" which... sure is a thing /neg) to the point where just mentioning "hey maybe you could try some coping mechanisms" will get you banned from a server and get you put on a callout post calling you ableist and anti-radqueer and a TERF and whatever the hell else they decide to pretend you are (i know because this happened to me).
the way this differs from the mogai/liom communities, since ik they're gonna compare it to that, is that the mogai/liom communities are created out of an actual desire to label part of your identity. most transids are not (with the exception of things like "transrace" or "transage" because those often are actually trying to label a part of their identity, although they're usually going about it in the wrong way, but that's not the point right now). im talking transjob and transopinion and transship and transwhatiateforbreakfastthismorning and whatever else - these are so hyperspecific and meaningless to the point where, or lack of a better phrase, it's honestly insulting to the entire concept of transids in a way. i don't support transids, but i can very easily tell what the major transids were originally intended to label (actual dysphoria/a feeling of "this isn't who i am"/etc, ignoring the way they go about helping their dysphoria because oftentimes it's not good at all) and it is very different from the transids being coined now (a coping mechanism turned maladaptive, unhealthy obsession disguised as "it's just for fun, let people live!!").
transid coiners coin these things and add meaningless things to their hoards constantly. it's like they've run out of actual bandages to cover up an injury and started grabbing at everything they could find. and when you try to offer to help them get therapy or learn coping mechanisms or anything besides mentally draining and destroying themselves, they scream at you that you're ableist and homophobic and anti-radqueer and just as bad as a real-life nazi because you want to help them feel better.
the transid community, as it started out, was more like oculoids. i know this because i was in the transid community when it just started out. people were entirely against people lying about their physical age, people were entirely against chrono-adults dating chrono-minors, they were entirely against people lying about their physical race, hell they were even super skeptical of transautistic and transadhd or whatever when those terms first circulated and everyone was at least fully against pretending to actually be autistic and against transautistics identifying as autigender.
and, somewhere along the line, that changed - and young, traumatized kids (because yes, all the people coining transjob and transopinion and whatever are entirely children, i've seen people as young as fucking /eleven/ in this community and i've rarely seen anyone above 14) found a coping mechanism in the community. it was like, okay, fun! coining terms can be fun! it can be a fun coping mechanism, just like any other form of art is (because i consider flag making and coming up with names for terms and other aspects of coining art), but it should be just that. a fun hobby. something you do occasionally, you shouldn't do it constantly and you shouldn't use it as your only coping mechanism and you shouldn't shut out every other form of help or therapy or coping just to coin things to fill the void in your life.
these transid coiners are traumatized, lonely children. im not trying to be demeaning or make fun of them, but they are all young children/teens. they need /actual/ help, because exclusively coining tons and tons of meaningless terms (and yes, terms like "transship" and "transfashion" are 100% meaningless) while in a community full of plenty of people hiding in there, disguising themselves as their friends, looking for vulnerable people to take advantage of, is unhealthy as hell. obsessing over your hundreds of extremely obscure transids that don't mean anything to you or anyone else and that you probably couldn't even name half of is unhealthy. coining can be a good coping mechanism, yes! but not when it's used as your /only/ coping mechanism and your /only/ source of happiness and comfort.
if you're translovecore or transpilot or transmonikaxsayori or whatever and that means a lot to you for whatever reason but you aren't using transids as your only outlet, then cool, you aren't really part of the root problem. a little weird, and i don't understand it at all, but honestly not inherently harmful like some other transids.
to transid people - please read this and you find yourself relating to any of this, get help. not in a "you're delusional" or "you're weird" way, you genuinely need healthy coping mechanisms and some form of help and comfort because it's unhealthy to obsess over and center your life around /anything/ this much.
this turned into an entire essay gah damn i should've started this with "transid community bad, yes? in this essay i will,"
Now this is what im talking about, hope you dont mind me crosstagging lol
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I’m having Terror Thoughts but no gumption to follow through of any plot bunnies. I’m just going to throw this into the universe
Free ideas for Terror fic writers:
- Jopson is a pet groomer and Crozier takes Neptune to him regularly. Could work as Jopzier or as Jop playing matchmaker for Fitzier with JFJ bringing in Fagin. Do cats get groomed? Maybe vet is better. Anyway, there’s potential for cat vs dog shenanigans, silly rivalries, low stakes fun taken way too seriously by idiots.
- Everyone works at a museum of polar exploration and start having dreams and flashbacks to events in canon, before discovering that they all happen to share names with people on the Franklin expedition... Can be any group of characters, but I enjoy the image of Dundy and Ned going into Jopson’s office like “we feel like we should both apologise for…. leaving you?” Eliciting a reaction of “???? first off I never dated either of you second off i would be the one doing the leaving fuckyouverymuch” idk it’s a bad joke but I like it
- Hickey helping Irving sort out his internalised homophobia. There might be a million of these that just I haven’t stumbled across, but I like the image of a morally repugnant loser actually doing some good by seducing this dickhead out of his religious trauma. And however many there are there needs to be MORE
- Serial killer Hickey shivs his accomplice Billy in prison. Something creepy and heartachy from Billy’s POV ideally.
Anyway dm me if you want to hear all about my “Crozier adopts autistic teenager Tom Jopson” AU that is way too developed to offer up in a list, but which I’ll probably never actually fully write either 🤷
#The Terror#fanfiction#Thomas Jopson#Francis Crozier#James Fitzjames#Henry Thomas Dundas Le Vesconte#Edward Little#Cornelius Hickey#John Irving#Billy Gibson
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Heyyyyyyyyyyyyyy
Was out with mountain boy last night and 1. I learned how to say ‘i love you’ in latin (te amo) and 2. Very much questioning the whole arospec thing because of this boy. Cause for the first time in my *life* the feelings have lasted more than 2 weeks. Its been 2 months. HOLY SHIT IVE BEEN DATING MOUNTAIN BOY FOR 2 MONTHS
But yeah. And also like. As of last night its like *new feeling unlocked* like I’ve had butterflies but I’ve never had butterflies to the degree that Im *still* having butterflies over something 24 HOURS later. And like. That could also just be from being in the middle of a flare that my emotions just are not regulating correctly but like. I feel like I just unlocked emotions 2.0. So maybe I am the actual rare case of ‘you just haven’t been with the right guy yet’ which is infuriating but also I *like* these feelings
But also on the whole chronic illness front - WE FUCKING HATE IT HERE and Im downing ibuprofen like its candy (that is a joke for those that need told). So if my brain could just stop having the 404 error causing both thinking and motor skill problems atm that would be great
Uuhhhhh OH! And therapy is now once a month instead of every other week so I guess thats a plus
Those are my life updates bro how are you?? I miss chatting with you I feel like I never have time to be on here anymore
*answers like a week later* whaaaat I always have time to chat haha 😅😅
Well I’m glad you feel that way! I know personally I can only feel that way with people I’ve met irl even if it’s just meeting them once. I love that feeling though, I’m always chasing that high.
It’s been two months 😭 where has the time gone
I love my best friend to pieces but hanging out with her and her husband was soooo. For someone who’s “autistic and touch-adverse” homegirl SURE did a 180 on that. Third wheel for a week straight 😐 I support her not conforming to social norms even when it’s embarrassed me in the past but like. Boundaries. When you are with someone else. I always made sure that I was never super PDA or hung up on my ex when we were dating because I never wanted to make someone feel like a third wheel and uh. Yeah that’s why.
I just started my meds back up, I’m back on Prozac after my hiatus from taking meds. It reached the point where I’m like “okay yeah maybe my meds were doing SOMETHING even if they weren’t WORKING exactly so MAYBE I should go back on them and be a LITTLE less crazy”. I intend on starting therapy back up. I have free therapy through work, probably Better Help, but it’s probably better than nothing. I already know my data’s on the dark web from all the times my bank account has been hacked so I don’t need to worry about them selling my personal info 😅
I was planning on graduating this semester but that’s not happening :) so next semester it is.
My mom wants to come back up next summer and my best friend and I have been trying to plan matching tattoos and we talked about getting them up there where I got them last time so maybe I’ll see you then! Sick New World already sold out so I guess that plan is a bust 😅
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Hello, this is autistic anon from this summer who asked about the summer camp for depressed people . I have now started that, but after spending just one day there I then needed two days to recuperate (like spent one day sleeping and the other one so tired and hurting that I didn't feel up to anything). So I'm wondering did you experience smth similar at first? Did it get better? Because things feel a bit hopeless right now. If you don't mind talking a bit more about this at least?
Hi! You might have send that to someone else bc I don't have any experience summercamps like these? I did do a non-residential stay at a psychiatric hospital for 3 months (before my actual residential stay) so maybe that's what you're referring to? In any case it's close enough that I can give an answer on the subject of being incredibly exhausted by treatment.
Doing an active treatment when you're in a deep mental health crisis is always exhausting, if you'd compare it with walking uphill, the first days/weeks/months are always the steepest and it gets better gradually, but it does take a long time.
The only thing I can really say is don't give up on it, because the thing that's so exhausting is also the only way to overcome being this exhausted.
Try to not have anything else going on in your life, so whatever energy you do have can go 100% to this. How far 'dropping everything' is realistic depends on the individual situation of course, but in an ideal situation you drop any other commitments, take time off work/school, live with family/friends/a partner who preps meals etc, hold off on dating, really putting your life on hold every wich way possible.
Don't be afraid to ask for help, this is the same as when you for instance get your foot operated on and you need to avoid walking for a few weeks and someone else has to do your groceries. It's a medical event and you deserve rest, you need to take rest.
But keep doing what your doing treatment wise. It's really is a 'it get worse before it gets better' thing. Because depression is so tiring and then you're gonna jiggle things around in your head? Of course you're going to reach levels of exhaustion you've never seen before and it's totally fine to feel this way.
It's training, it's uphill, it's exhausting, it's takes a long time but all of it is soo worth it when you one day notice "hey, I"m not as tired anymore, I still can't do much but I can do something" and that's when you look back and see all the distance traveled.
I currently don't need to take off days after even big events anymore, and I used to have to recuperate multiple days after doing anything. It was absolutely a long process but I'd never tought I'd be able to get to this point, so who knows where you'll end up if you keep trying, there's literally no way to guess at this point, but wherever it is, it'll be worth all the effort and pain and occasional steps backward.
Also, sidenote, even mentally healthy able bodied people need to take days off sometimes when things get intense, so make sure to not beat yourself up about it ;)
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Name: Fluxuates depending on what prounouns I'm currently using. Alexandra on more feminine days, Alexander on more masculine days, and Alex on more neutral days.
Nicknames: Anything works but I love space, nature, or special intrest themed nicknames. If your going to use gendered nicknames please ask my prounouns first.
Age: I don't fell safe saying my age on here, but I will say that I am over 16.
Special Intrests: Anything to do with the positive side of LGBTQIA+, Nature, witchy things, Psychology, Maximum Ride, Miss Peregrine's Home for Peculiar Children, what real life monsters would look like, stuffed animals.
Random Fact: I would really really love it for someone to nicknames me somthing along the lines if glitch or glitchy. Why you ask? Well, when thinking about my phantom limbs I realized that I felt that one of my eyes was red and the other bright blue. I don't know if the red cam from the vampire or demon kins and if the blue came from the werewolf or angel. It reminded me of a glitch colors, and since then I've just kinda wanted to use red and blue for all my oc's eyes.
How I learned I was a otherkin: Well. I had always felt odd, almost non-human my entire life. I often Imagined myself as diffrent animals, some from fantasy and some from real life. Most of everyone thought I was pretending and that I would grow out of it. I did not however grow out of it. To this day I still will feel wings on my back and am able to see them so clearly in my mind. Not only that but many more things alike. Apart from this I often feel intune to most animals, even making freinds with snakes and wasps. I have been a animal person since I was younger. I would be able to speak to the animals without any words. Some animals naturally flocked to me, well others took more time. However I was always ready to give all the love they deserve, no matter how long they needed. They also never scared me or harmed me like humans had. I was safe and at peace with animals. Eventually I started to wonder, Why don't I feel human? It was a tricky question. I often called people humans instead of people, as I didn't like being associated with Them. My parent didn't understand this but eventually let it go. I thought about it for a long time before I thought, maybe, just maybe I wasn't a human. I took to the internet when I stumbled across alterhumans, specifically otherkin. It instantly felt right. Like I finally found the last peice of a puzzle. Well, I'm still new to this I now understand myself A little bit better. (Sorry this was so long, this is actually a shortened version).
My Kin types: Angelkin, Demonkin, Vampirekin, and Werewolfkin.
Do I exsperience Phantom Limbs: Yes I do. I have phantom wings, phantom tail, phantom claws, phantom fangs, and phantom werewolf ears. Sometimes my wings will dissappear or feel smaller but the rest is almost always there!
Gender: Genderfluid
Prounouns: Switches between She/Her, She/ They, They/Them, He/They, He/Him, She/They/ He, She/Her, It/it's, and mirror prounouns.
Sexuality: omnisexual, Panromantic, Demirose, Polyamorous
Dating Status: Current not dating anyone
Asks: Everone is welcome to send asks as long as you don't go against my DNI or my boundaries. So feel free to send me anything ranging from a picture of your cat to a deep poem of your choice.
DM: Ummmm, this one is a bit tricky. It all really depends on the circumstances. Like your lonely and think I'd make a good freind? Absaloutly you can message me. You want to tell me something but are really scared to put it in a ask? Of course you can, as long as It doesn't go against my bounderies.
Touching: Only If we are really close. I am autistic and even the though of someone I'm not close with touching me makes my entire body cringe
Flirting: Absaloutly not. I am Demi-aroace (meaning I need a strong emotional connection to be romantically or sexually attracted to anyone) so I don't feel very comfortable with flirting. I am also under 18 soooo yeah, Absaloutly no flirting.
DNI: Basic DNI criteria (Homophobic, completely NSFW, Racist, cringe culture, ect). I don't have a super detailed DNI but I do block freely. The only thing I have to say is DNI if you are anti-otherkin.
Warnings: I have a tendency to cuss a lot, if your not comfortable with that than I recommend blocking the tag #TW cussing
#angel kin#angelkin#demon kin#demonkin#werewolf kin#werewolfkin#vampire kin#vampirekin#wingedkin#otherkin community#alterhumanity#otherkin experiences#otherkin positivity#otherkin stuff#otherkin pride#otherkin#werewolf#vampire#demon#angel#intro post#introduction#intro blog#introductory post#blog intro
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Uhhhh I feel like talking about Kristen Kringle so I’m gonna do it now.
This isn’t going to be very cohesive, I just felt like talking about my thoughts on her.
First of all, I want to say that she is nowhere near my favorite character. I felt completely neutral on her for all of Season 1, and started to like her in Season 2 before they killed her off. I can’t even say I understand why some people like her so much. But I will still defend her to my death because I firmly believe that woman did nothing wrong.
“But she was ableist to Ed!” I honestly think she didn’t like him not because of his autistic traits but because of how he acted around her. I say this as someone who heavily sympathizes towards S1 Ed, he was being incredibly creepy to her. He fucking sniffed her. Really, I think you could make stronger case for Harvey being ableist toward him (he literally told him that he needed help because he asked a riddle)
Plus, she literally apologized for how she thought of him even though she, in my very humble opinion, didn’t need to.
“But she gets in the way of Nygmobblepot!” Ignoring the fact that hating a female character because she “gets in the way” of a ship is misogynistic, how? Ed and Oswald are literally in the same room twice before she dies. I honestly didn’t think she would get this treatment from the fandom simply because she is such a non-factor in their relationship. If you wanna talk about Isabella, that’s a different story, but they’re two different characters.
I just genuinely don’t think there’s a valid reason to hate her, yknowwhatimsaying? Other then that, I don’t care about her that much. I liked her for the 3 episodes before she died, and her and Lee would’ve made a cute couple, but that’s about it. But I’m still side eying you very hard if you don’t like her.
Now I want to talk about her writing. It’s not a secret that Gotham does not write its women well, and Kristen Kringle is not an exception to the rule. She joins Isabella and Lee (strange how all the women Ed dated have the sake writing problems) in the “most of their character revolves around a man/men” category of misogynistic writing (well, Lee could hypothetically get better in Season 4 and maybe 5 since I haven’t watched them, but I don’t have faith).
Kristen doesn’t have much of a character outside of him. She has no existing plotlines, motivations, or goals. The closest thing she gets outside of him is her tendency to date jerks (Flass, Dougherty, Ed even counts technically).
Kristen does not have any scenes where Ed is not also in them. The closest she gets is a scene is Season 2 where she is talking to Lee and Ed isn’t in the same room as them. He is still in the scene though, he’s just overhearing them.
And then there’s her dying for Ed’s character development. Which is, for obvious reasons, not something you do to your female characters.
Now, I’m obviously not a professional writer, but I’ve thought about how they could’ve done her better. I’ve heard people throw out the idea of her becoming a villain herself, but that doesn’t really seem to make sense to me (interesting idea though). The best I can come up with is Ed almost killing her instead of actually killing her, have her help out Jim and Harvey sometimes, having her have a reaction to Isabella/Oswald/Lee, exploring her attraction to toxic men, and give her relationship with Lee more screen time (I’d say make them girlfriends but I’m trying to be a little realistic here). I think a weird and complex relationship between her and Ed could be cool,
I’ve never been good at conclusions, so just take the thing.
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