Tumgik
#maybe i should just post my own stuff for a while before venturing into other areas idk
pearwaldorf · 6 months
Text
Tumblr media
I hate that you can't see a tweet thread anymore if you're not logged into Twitter (as a gesture of disrespect I refuse to call it by its rebranded name). Here is a copypasta of a thread from Dan Olson, a Canadian documentary filmmaker, expanding upon camera quality, the guilt trips Somerton used to goose his Patreon subscriptions, and how the best tools will never make up for lack of dedication or patience. I have added clarifications in [[double brackets]] where I feel it is necessary.
START OF THREAD
Okay, so, back in April I snapped at James in reply to a tweet that was linking to this video (which James has since delisted but not deleted) and I want to talk about the full context of that but I don't want to make a video, put your beatdown memes away. [[The video has since been deleted. I can see the title of the video is "Maybe the end (not an April Fool's Day thing".]]
The first bit of context is that I initially got keyed into James to fact-check his claims about indie filmmaking in Canada. As a filmmaker the entire Telos venture was immediately obvious as a juvenile fantasy dreamed up by someone with no idea how to make a movie.
Just wild claims about their plans that weren't worth debunking because they bordered Not Even Wrong. But in watching one of these pitch videos I noticed that he had a $4000 current-gen camera in the background as a prop, and that seemed both pretentious and weird.
You don't use your best camera as a prop, you use your second best camera as a prop. So being an obsessive weirdo I needed to know, and I watched his BTS stuff until I spotted his main rig, a $6000 camera with about $1000 in accessories.
Now, these in isolation are unremarkable because his Patreon at the time was bringing in ~$8000 per month, his channel was a full on Business business, and so investing in some professional equipment of that level is maybe a bit indulgent but justifiable.
What was weird is that he doesn't shoot multi-cam, doesn't shoot outdoors, doesn't shoot on location, and in a studio the two cameras kinda really step on each others' toes. Basically if you already have one and don't need a B cam there's no reason to get the other.
Again, on its own, this says nothing, it's just indicative of poor financial decisions, maybe impulsive purchasing, Gear Acquisition Syndrome. Biblical sins, but not crimes.
Paired with the constantly inflating fantasy scope of the Telos films it was clearly an expression of a very, very common bad filmmaker habit of "if I just get the right gear then my movie will basically make itself" Buying stuff because it feels like progress.
At the end of February he tweets "I want to start shooting anamorphic" and then three weeks later in March he posts the worst, out of focus, under-exposed "I just got a new lens!" video I've ever seen, showing off his trash-covered bedroom.
Based on what's available for his cameras and the lead time, that's enough time to get a Laowa Nanomorph or Sirui Saturn from B&H but not enough time to get a Great Joy from the UK or a Vazen from China. And with the flaring blah blah blah, $1300 lens.
Again, [gear acquisition syndrome] is not a crime and these lenses are budget options. Bit of a pointless impulse purchase since he only used it for the Showgirls video. But this is what he was doing just a few weeks before that above video came out: effortlessly impulse purchasing lenses.
James has (had?) a habit of regularly, aggressively driving viewers to Patreon by claiming that videos were getting demonetized. While tacky, it is something a lot of queer YouTubers have dealt with, so there's precedent there. But people were noticing he did it a lot.
Mid-March he humble brags about needing to work so hard to make 6 videos in April because he has over-booked sponsorships.
Then March 29th James posts this whole incel screed on Twitter about how sex work should be "subsidized as a mental health service."
[two image descriptions.
1. "For the majority of people sex (and human contact) can be imperative to a healthy state of mind. A kind and talented sex worker can make someone feel wanted for the first time in their life. I know sex workers who have pulled people back from suicide just by being there for them." 2. "Not only should (sex work) be legal, but it should be subsidized as a mental health service."]
He spends several days getting absolutely *roasted* for this, just dragged across the pavement and read for filth, and doubles down in the replies the whole way.
So this is the context immediately surrounding James waking up on Friday, and posts the above video and the below tweet.
[image description: "We just got the lowest Patreon payout we've gotten in well over a year. Like, a "maybe we need to rethink things" kind of amount... NOT an April Fools Day thing btw. But I don't know if we'll be making videos much longer."]
Now, this unfolds in kinda two directions. The first is that I'm convinced he was just lying about this income shock in the first place.
There's a million theoretical edge cases about what maybe happened and if maybe he just misunderstood the data or saw a glitch and panicked, maybe one of those happened, I don't believe it, I think he just lied because he was salty about getting dragged and felt owed a win.
A big tell to me is that he doesn't blame Patreon. He says he doesn't know what happened, but let's be real, Patreon screws up all the time, they're the first people anyone blames if anything confusing happens, just as a reflex action, even if it's completely not their fault.
The only reason to not blame Patreon is if you already know that it's not their fault and that any investigation on their part might reveal embarrassing details.
Instead he indirectly blames his viewers for not watching enough, not sharing enough, and not turning on auto-renew.
So regardless of the unknowable truth, this segues into the second, far more offensive direction of the messaging itself. "I don't know if we'll be making videos much longer." "Maybe the end" He explicitly framed this as an immediate existential threat to his channel.
In the video he is vague about everything, leaves a ton of hazy room for plausible deniability on how long the channel can keep going, but the messaging is "I need more patrons right this minute or my YouTube channel is over."
He repeatedly evokes all the "fun stuff" they had planned that would never see the light of day if this didn't turn around right away.
And his audience received this message loud and clear. Tons of people making far, far, far less than him left very heartfelt messages about digging a little deeper to subscribe or up their pledge or unsubscribe from other channels to move their pledge to his.
1200 new patrons in one day.
Since I simply don't believe the income shock was real in the first place that would put his post-"Maybe the end" Patreon income at around $10,000 per month. US. Add YouTube income, he's spent the last seven months making around $18,000 per month.
I have seen creators scale back their capabilities to the bone purely to keep making videos for the love of just, like, making stuff even as their funding evaporated and they needed to go back to a desk job to cover their bills.
You'd have to be so outstandingly reckless with your finances as a channel that a one month spook leads immediately to "channel over, sorry about all the fun stuff we won't get to do with you, our patrons, specifically because you, our patrons, aren't giving us enough money"
And not a spook where you then spend a couple weeks crunching numbers. Oh no. A shock so violent where less than two hours later you're weeping on camera about the channel being over.
Three weeks later he brought a brand new Sony FX6v for $8000 CAD to add to his pile of cinema cameras despite the fact that he was, but scant moments earlier, in such a precarious position that a single bad month would kill his channel.
He stole your money, and for that I'm profoundly sad and angry. That's why I snapped at him in April. I'm sorry I couldn't give you the full context then, and I'm sorry if that anger upset you.
END OF THREAD
6K notes · View notes
oopsallmabari · 2 years
Note
i always wished we got to see a little of the conclave before it ended so horrifically, since it's such a huge event but it feels diminished... what kinds of origins specific stuff are you thinking of? 👀
YEAH like the game focuses hard on the conclave issue being the death of the divine which like. fine, it's because of corypheus, but like. that's not what I care about nearly as much.
GRANTED I have mostly thought about this in the context of my own inquisitors (adaar, mage trevelyan, cadash) but like. the stakes are different!!! to me, narratively, there's a huge difference between the conclave as a business venture vs as a diplomatic mission vs as a above-average merc job.
a mage trevelyan enters the conclave and it is perhaps the most important experience of their lives. this could determine the fate if mages in thedas. you should get some actual context for the mage templar war, sew the seeds of different viewpoints of circle mages!! we know from origins there are different schools of mage political thought-you can't tell me the conclave for mages isn't filled with RICH political discourse. give Fiona a chance to seem like a figure with real power! hell, you can foreshadow vivienne's appearance in game, give us some idea of what it means to be a loyal circle post-rebellion. GIVE US TENSE INTERACTIONS BETWEEN MAGES AND TEMPLARS. THEY ARE TRYING TO BROKER A PEACE WITH A GROUP THAT IS CAPABLE OF USING DEADLY FORCE TOWARDS THEM (it's CUSTOMARY, even). a mage trevelyan enters the conclave presumably with some of the only friends they have in their life, and then everyone but them dies. how does that feel? how does that color the inquisition's response to their survival, this apostate who is the prime suspect for the divine's murder, the murder of hundreds of others?
even a non-mage trevelyan is on an important mission. give us the outsider perspective on the mage-templar conflict. give us more insight into the chantry's role and power since the trevelyan family is so devout. how are the free marches faring, since all of inquisition takes place in southern thedas? it's still a critical experience for a non mage trevelyan, but maybe this isn't so life and death for them. maybe their family members joined them to help negotiate. are the trevelyans trying to steer the proceedings any particular way? do some disagree on what should be done?
lavellans are LITERALLY SENT TO SPY ON THE PROCEEDINGS CAN YOU IMAGINE AN ORIGIN ESPIONAGE MISSION. we could have shown the dalish some fucking respect early on and displayed their cunning! their ability to seem unassuming and on the fringes while keeping the clan safe! is lavellan going to the conclave solo? how close were they hoping to get to the proceedings-how close to the divine? are there city elf servants, perhaps, that they intend to disguise themselves as? lavellans are one of the origins that explicitly aren't supposed to be there, so again, how does the Inquisition-the Chantry-respond to a dalish elf as their prime suspect for the divine's murder? tbh I feel like that is a hugely dangerous spot for a lavellan to be in.
an adaar was probably expecting some conflict as part of the conclave, but nothing so serious as what ended up happening. there's a huge opportunity here to delve into some of adaar's personal/family dynamics. are the valo-kas kindred to them,or just coworkers? who in the company stayed behind and out of the temple of sacred ashes? what's their take on the mage-templar war? THEYRE SECURITY, HOW DID CORYPHEUS EVADE THEIR DEFENSES? what did the valo-kas miss? were there other people up to mischief during the conclave that got ferreted out? were there other hired security groups that they worked together/clashed with???
cadashes are also spies, but with a much clearer bend to shape proceedings. what's been happening with lyrium as the circles disband? are there any signs of red lyrium at the conclave pre-breach? are the dwarves more inclined to see one group access lyrium over the other? how do they attempt to sway minds? the merchant's guild is probably also implicated in the conclave proceedings, how do they navigate?
idk ultimately, the way the conclave ends up for me in game is disappointing-we don't get to really feel how politically altering it is, we miss out on a chance to set up the big players in inquisition (rebel mages and the templar order, obviously, but arguably you miss out on a chance to distinguish orlais and ferelden even, especially for folks that are coming in to inquisition as their first DA game). you have no people connection to the conclave, no idea of the size of the event. everyone else at the conclave died but all anyone else cares about is divine Justinia. is there NOBODY the inquisitor loses at the conclave? no other important dignitaries whose absence could shake up thedas? when the inquisitor enters the Fade and the Nightmare dimension, you're supposed to be getting back memories of the conclave that were terrifying, but there's no real horror. no disgust at what's happened, no reminder besides corypheus, who at that point we have already seen, so there's not much new or poignant to emotionally tie me to.
idk, the conclave explosion is fucked up. and I want more of it.
64 notes · View notes
jupyterdream · 2 years
Text
The Villain Named Gravity: Chapter 3
On AO3, I decided I'll have weekly updates for this on Saturdays. So, I'm gonna post chapter 3 (which I wrote a while back) and starting tomorrow, I'm gonna (hopefully) update this every Saturday on both AO3 and Tumblr.
No idea if people are actually reading this, but that's fine, this is really kind of for my own sake.
Oh, but I might make a masterlist later(whenever I figure out how to do that) and I did make a tag specifically for this tag so that I can keep stuff in one place.
...Is that allowed? I'm not sure. Oh well.
Warnings: Reader is psychopathic, read is manipulative, it’ll mostly be cheerful until it goes down hill in later chapters, ooc, mild dubious consent, enemies to lover, friends to lovers, slow burn, a lot of scientific jargon, reader is female, female pronouns, do not interact if any of the above makes you uncomfortable.
Pairings: Kaedehara Kazuha x Reader, Tomo x Reader
Tumblr media
“Weak told us to stay where we were…”
“Don’t worry about it! As long as we get back before Strong and Weak come back, we’re gonna be fine~”
Although it took a long time for Electromagnetism to catch your attention after you went into deep thoughts, it didn’t take long for her to convince you to go on a walk with her, even though you knew that Weak would be rather upset if he found out you ventured out on your own without telling him. Being scolded by him felt like being scolded by your parents. You couldn’t retaliate because he’d always scold you out of care, plus he’s too smart for you to come up with a good argument against his scolding.
“Nuuuuh…” Electromagnetism looked up at the sky, “I think a storm is coming… Do you think they’ll be okay?”
You followed her gaze and looked up as well. The sky seemed cloudier than before, and the wind felt chilly. You narrowed your eyes in frustration. Out of all the days it would rain, of course it would be this today.
“You’re right… Maybe we should start heading back.”
“Aw, I wanted to find fruits so that we can contribute to the rations… Oh well, I guess it was enough that we got to see around the… cave…”
Her dwindling voice made you worried, and you turned your head to look at her, “Electromagnetism?”
She was staring at a space between the cliffs. Confused, you look there to find a single sword pierced into the ground. Curiosity got the best of you, and it seemed that it was the same for Electromagnetism, as the two of you glanced at each other before silently walking over to the sword.
After examining the sword closer, Electromagnetism smiled towards you, “It looks like a katana.” She turned back at it, “Broken, though… Oh, it has something written on it too! Uhm… ‘The thunder incinerates body and bone — in nourishing the earth may they both find rest.’ ….Oh, is this a memorial?”
You glanced next to the sword to find a gem that looked rather similar to the ones you and your friend had. Though, unlike yours, it had no light inside, only emptiness. You kneel next to it and pick it up, examining the gem closely.
…Why? Why are you so mesmerized by it?
“Oooh! That looks similar to our thing!” Electromagnetism sparkled, “We should go back and tell Strong and Weak about it! Maybe we can figure it out together!”
You agree, you should go back, you should put down the gem and go back to the camp before Weak finds out you two left. But… But still…
“I’ll catch up with you.” You were caught off guard at how desperate your voice sounded. Why are you so fixated on this gem? There’s something about it that forbids you from looking away.
And it seems Electromagnetism caught onto your desperation too, giving you a short response, “O-Oh, okay. Just come back soon, okay?” You heard her footsteps dwindling down, and you shifted your full attention back to the gem.
Perhaps these gems are something everyone in this world holds? When you die, does it go empty? So many questions remained, but no one to answer them. A hint of worry was planted inside you, and it grew like weed. You and your friends were already caught up with a bunch of soldiers earlier, what if you all got caught up with something stronger? You were lucky this time, but next…?
You shifted your gaze to the broken sword, the cryptic words written on the blade. How did they die? Did they die with regret? If they were still alive, would they answer these questions for you? Would they protect you?
You turn your gaze back at the gem, fear and worry swirling around you, becoming stronger, until it turns into panic. If something similar happens in the near future, would you really be able to protect yourself and your friends? Will they stay safe until the four of you can go home…?
Because of the panic clouding your judgment, you didn’t notice your gem emitting darkness once more, and your surroundings were corrupted. Overwhelming feeling of panic, panic, panic! You don’t understand what was happening to you, and you didn’t see the space around you crashing into your gem. Darkening vision, collapsing horizons, infinite past and infinite futures, everything keeps crashing, and all that remains is chaos.
And then, the world fell silent. The surroundings went back to normal. You didn’t notice though, as you were hyperventilating, too caught up in the possible futures where your friends were forced to suffer. What snapped you out of it wasn’t the chaos of the world around you, but rather a pair of hands grabbing you by the shoulders.
You snap your head up, meeting a pair of purple eyes. A fluffy golden ponytail and a look of worry. It was a human, a man to be specific. You stared at him in confusion, how long was this man here for? Was he here the whole time?
You gripped firmly on the gem inside your hand, not realizing that it had a soft purple glow, with a symbol of electricity inside. The man looks at you in the eyes, then to the gem you held, and then back to meet you gaze. He looked like he was doing a grand calculation inside his head, trying to figure out the best course of action.
Finally, he opens his mouth, and although it takes a few seconds for his words to formulate, a single sentence managed to fall off his lips.
“A storm is coming.”
*******
You hear three voices, some of them panicking, some of them angry. It's the voice that belongs to your friends. Your eyelids feel heavy, you don’t feel like opening them yet. God, why were you always the one to wake up last? As much as you wanted to stay asleep, especially as your body cringed in pain, you wanted to see what was making your friends panic in the background so much.
“What’s going on…?” You mumbled with your tired voice as you sat up on the hard ground. Your head immediately starts hurting so you put your hand against it, shaking your head in the hopes it might alleviate the pain a little. A strange presence looms over you and you assumed it was Electromagnetism or Strong, so you opened your eyes to meet their gaze.
You were met with pairs of purple eyes. None of your friends have purple eyes.
You jolted in surprise, making you scramble to your feet and took a few steps back. A decision you would come to regret in a few seconds.
Sitting in front of you was the man you met by the memorial, seeing you stand up in panic, he gave you a friendly, yet mischievous smile. You were going to question him about whom he was, until you heard Strong’s blood-curdling scream, “Gravity!!”
At that moment you felt a pair of arms fung around your figure, followed by another, then another… Until you couldn’t withstand the weight and fell backwards with them like dominos. You blinked a couple of times, staring ahead. Judging by the stone ceiling, you assumed you were in some sort of a cave. Your view of the ceiling was soon obscured by the worried expressions of your three friends.
“Gravity! Are you alright?! We were worried sick about you!!”
“I swear to god Gravity! If you do anything rash again, then so help me–”
“Gravittttty! I’m soooooorry! This is all because I went back to the camp before you! Please say you’re okay!!”
You stare blankly at your three friends, “...What happened?”
“You passed out, apparently.” Strong replied, tapping on your shoulder as if asking if you needed help getting up, “This guy… Tomoaki? He brought you here.”
“Did he hurt you?” Weak snapped, “We decided to take him hostage until you woke up, but if he’s the reason why you passed out–”
“Weak, don’t be so harsh! Gravity is safe now, and I don’t think Tomoaki was the one who hurt her! He brought her here didn’t he?” Electromagnetism giggled.
You sat up once again with Strong’s help, “Tomoaki?”
“That’s me.” The stranger grinned, “Saionji Tomoaki is the name, didn’t know I was a hostage to be honest but okay. I wanted to thank you because I believe you brought me back from the–”
At that you got up on your feet once again and ran at him, covering his mouth. Tomoaki paused in surprise before catching you as your body pressed against his.
“Don’t say it.” You whispered, “I’ll tell them when the time comes.”
You turned your head towards your three friends, who as you suspected, were tilting their head from curiosity and suspicion. Assuming Tomoaki was the one the memorial was for, it’s possible you brought him back from the dead. You figured if you told your friends the truth now, they would help you figure out what happened, but you wanted to organize your thoughts before that.
“So, you know him?” Strong asked.
You paused and shook your head, “N-No, why would I know someone from a world I’ve only been in for less than 24 hours?”
“You could have made a friend!” Strong laughed.
You stared at Strong in disbelief, “...You seriously think I could make a friend?”
Strong paused, he tried to find a word of affirmation, but he already knew about your personality, “W-Well… You know? It could happen? You became friends with us…”
“I’d argue that was a different circumstance but-” Before you could finish your thought however, Tomoaki held your hand, cutting you off.
“Are we not friends?” He stared at you with dejected puppy eyes, though you felt nothing towards his desperate pleas. If this indeed was the soldier who you brought back from the memorial, you had no intentions of becoming close to him.
You didn’t want his friendship or love.
You were only interested in his strength, his loyalty.
Because you were going to throw him away later on anyway.
…But you can’t gain anyone’s loyalty without giving them what they desire first.
You looked down towards the hand he held, a slight tint of red spreading across your cheeks. You shyly look to the side and fidgeted with your other hand, and let out a voice that could dissipate with a single gust of wind, “I… I guess… We can be… Friends…”
Tomoaki’s eyes lit up and he gave a satisfied grin, “Great! That means we’re allies then!”
“Huh?”
“You gotta help me when I’m in trouble, alright?” Tomoaki laughed. You panicked a bit and started hitting his shoulder, lightly so that he wouldn’t get hurt.
“Hey! No fair! I thought you genuinely wanted to be friends with me!”
Such a naive idiot…
Though, the fact that you still saw a hint of distrust in his demeanor was rather worrying. Perhaps it’s because of his intuition as a fighter?
…Then you’ll have to break down his intuitions later…
“Guys! Guys! Now that Gravity’s awake, let’s eat dinner!” Strong ran over to the pile of purple and orange fruits that were collected in the corner of the cave. “While we eat, we can all introduce each other to Tomoaki, and then explain our situation, right?”
He picked up a purple fruit, at which Tomoaki reacted excessively and yelled, “No! Don’t eat that-”
However, by then Strong had already bit into the purple fruit. You froze in fear, was it poisonous? Could it hurt him? Swarms of questions filled your thoughts, and you thought your worst fear was confirmed when Strong started screaming, “Nnnnnghcnjahfioavbe!!”
“Strong!” You and your three friends rushed to him, Weak grabbed him by the cheeks and started shaking him, panicking, “Spit it out! Spit it out darn it!”
“Nggggghhhhh…” Strong trembled, teary-eyed and cried, “It’s so bitter!!!!!!”
The three of you froze in confusion, Weak even managed to freeze up mid shake. Tomoaki gave a slight chuckle as he approached the rest of the party, “Sorry… Should have said earlier, but that thing is really bitter if you don’t cook it beforehand.”
Weak’s expression of confusion and worry immediately turned to that of annoyance, and he let go of Strong’s face while he continued to sulk at the bitter taste in his mouth.
You looked up at Tomoaki, “Well, how do you cook it?”
Tomoaki’s smile twitched, “Well… Uhm…” He picked up two of the purple fruits and thought about it for a little while. For a split second his hands emitted current, burning the fruit, “Like this?”
You stared at him skeptically, but Strong and Electromagnetism, who in your opinion always trusted people a little too easily, took his offer of the crudely cooked fruit. They gave each other a look before biting into it, and both gave the strange scream Strong did earlier.
“Bitter!”
“Disgusting!”
“There are parts of it that are raw, and parts that are overcooked!”
“What mental state do you have to be in to serve this to people!?”
They paused, realizing how rude their comments were to Tomoaki. They mechanically turned towards him, who was wobbling out of shock, until he eventually fell onto his knees and hands.
“....Kazu… Kazu’s the one who always cooked for me… He said the same things about my cooking… But to think it was this bad…”
Strong and Electromagnetism started panicking, apologizing profusely for their behavior. You were just staring at them, and you were going to stay that way, until you remembered what Strong would say during situations like this, and so you whispered. “...Fatality…”
The four of them paused... then started laughing, including Tomoaki. He leaned against your shoulder, complaining and teasing that your friends were bullying him. Weak ended up cooking the fruit, while Strong and Electromagnetism started asking Tomoaki multiple questions about himself.
It’s almost as if they already knew him…
You watched the four, with Tomoaki sometimes dragging you into the conversation, but not so much that it made you uncomfortable. His presence felt so natural, comforting even.
Though, I told myself I wouldn’t get attached… You thought to yourself, I guess I could be nice to him for a little bit.
12 notes · View notes
2jaeh · 3 years
Text
Tumblr media
ORPHIC : YUTA X READER
genre: smut, angst
warnings: mature themes, enemies to lovers kinda, kinda toxic theme, multiple smut scenes, swearing, alcohol, toys. 
slight jenoxreader 
word count : 17,5k (sorrry he’s my ult)
author: sin! 
You and Yuta never had a good relationship within your group of friends. The closest the two of you ever came to even slightly caring about each other was...in bed. After some friendly advice you decide to venture out of this toxicity and an old friend comes to the rescue. Thinking things will finally settle and you are ready to move on, Yuta comes to the realization that he wasn't a fan of you leaving him for someone else. 
A/N: WHOA this took me so long to write and rn its 2am and I barely proofread anything and just wanted to post it already! ALSO I just wanted to add Jeno is practically my ult as well and I wanted to use him for this scenario ! I promise Ill make it up to you guys with a full length fic of him lol Anyways enjoy. 
-------------------------------------------------------------------------------
You couldn’t understand why you hated him so much. Was it the way he did his hair ? The way he rolled his eyes at every snarky remark you directed at him ?
Or was it the way he stared at you from across the room, a smirk on his face signaling that it was going to be one of those nights.
You joined this collective of artists or the “blank space” as you were known to the public, a year ago. The team did everything from clothing to organizing crazy exhibitions, and the best part of it all was that the team members remained anonymous.
Now some of the members were already in the spotlight for their personal artworks and collections but anything under blank space was under that name only, promoted only under its respective social media accounts. The collective was founded by Taeyong, an introverted guy you met at a fashion show you once worked at. He approached you the night your art hit the runway and you’ve been working for him ever since.
You didn’t know everybody under Blank Space except for the people Taeyong trusted the most. Which from possibly 50 designers, only reduced to a total of nine close friends.
Taeyong, Johnny, Ten, Renjun, YangYang, Doyoung, Sungchan, Lucas and You.
And then, there was one person you called a friend when the mood was right. When he was not being an absolute pain in the ass.
Yuta Nakamoto.
————————————————————————
“So there’s a launch happening this weekend over at the shed” Taeyong announced to your friend group who were barely paying attention thanks to Yangyang attempting to stuff four marshmallows into his mouth. “Come on you can do one more” Lucas edged him on while Renjun shook his head disapprovingly and Sungchan tried to suppress his laughter.
“Guys please pay attention” Doyoung, the only type of authority around here spoke up, finally quieting down the room and allowing his best friend to speak.
Taeyong cleared his throat and shifted nervously as all eyes were focused on him again. “I’d like all of us to attend, maybe look for a new recruit” the timid pink haired boy spoke and everyone nodded knowing the routine of these launches at this point.
“Can we party hard or is this just one of those save face kinda gigs ?” Yuta raised his hand and the spark in Lucas’s eyes indicated that he may have had the same idea.
You rolled your eyes and crossed your leg over the other, “Yuta’s having a dry spell he wants to find some damsel in distress to get into his bed” you turned to him and he only smirked at your snarky comment.
“Well now y/n it’s only because you haven’t been in the mood for my dick lately” he pouted and Renjun threw his head back, followed by groans from both Johnny and Ten.
“I’m not in the mood for the two of you today seriously” Ten chimed in, rubbing his temples just waiting for this group meeting to be over. “Yeah me too” Johnny added, “you two fight the entire week then hook up over the weekend, we are tired.”
“Why are you guys tired ? Are you doing the fighting and fucking ?” Yuta scoffed and Doyoung jumped to his feet, folding his arms across his chest as he looked down at the scowling black haired man,
“This is a work meeting. If it's not about work” Doyoung eyes moved to you, “then we don’t want to hear about it.”
You nodded after getting reprimanded but Yuta being Yuta just snickered and downed the rest of his coffee, unbothered by what any of the people in the room had to say about him.
“Okay then well I’ll see you guys Friday night, if you find a possible recruitment just text the group chat and we will decide as a team then and there” Taeyong wrapped up the meeting and everyone dispersed back to their work stations to finish up any outstanding projects.
Blank Space had its own office block but you guys were the only ones with a private floor at the very end of the hallway, far away from the part-timers.
Everyone had their own cubicle made up of makeshift drywall, so it was private but not private enough. Taeyong felt that closed offices made no sense for a room of creatives and when working on bigger projects it was easier for members to move their stations to their partners' cubicles.
Your cubicle though had the unfortunate fate of being placed in front of Yuta. The members had tried to swap with either of you but neither of you budged. Moving meant there was a problem and showing that you had an actual problem with the other person meant it could sabotage the team and things may go sour.
So both of you conceded. Trying your absolute best to stay out of the other person's way during work hours. But it was impossible when bickering was just something you guys did.
From the very beginning You and Yuta had disagreed on almost everything. Both of you were pretty stubborn people and had a very similar mindset. Then on a random drunken night Johnny suggested that you and Yuta needed to release your anger in bed and the next day you’d be best friends. Yuta was pretty adamant on the idea and not only did you hook up once, it became this ongoing hell of fighting, building up your anger and releasing it during mind blowing sex.
Neither of you questioned the abnormality of your relationship. Rather, you ignored the red flags and the toxicity of it all and just assumed attraction only happened through liquor, high sexual needs and boredom.
“Hey y/n sorry about snapping like that earlier” Doyoung stepped into your cubicle, his gummy smile showing as he nervously scratched his head.  “It’s no problem, I’m sorry about my stupid comment” you pressed your lips together feeling a tad guilty that it all started because of you.
“You guys really love riling each other up don’t you?” Doyoung took a seat opposite you which was a bit unnatural for anyone who walked by. Doyoung was a very reserved person and never bothered to converse with any of you besides Taeyong. Unlike the rest of you Doyoung was recruited to handle finances and foresee the operation. He appreciated the arts but never delved in it, hence his awkwardness with the openness and unhinged personalities of the group.
“I get that it can be...exhausting” you sighed, propping your elbows up on the counter and pouting.
“Then why do you continue ?” Doyoung quizzed and you shrugged, “stress relief ?”
Doyoung chuckled at your words and pushed his spectacles up his bridge, “you guys are the ones stressing each other out,” Doyoung turned back to look at Yuta who was busy sketching and turned back to face you,
“All I’m saying is that maybe it’s time to look for a stress reliever that doesn’t result in anger the very next day, you guys need to move on.”
Move on.
Doyoung’s words swam in your mind hours after the short conversation had ended and you wondered if it was indeed time to move on. You looked up from your desk and to your surprise Yuta’s eyes were locked with yours as he twirled a lollipop in his mouth.
The issue was, as much as you hated him you couldn’t deny he was so goddamn hot. From the long hair to the edgy attire, physically he was your type. Personality on the other hand, it was like nails against a chalkboard.
Unbearable.
You kept your eyes locked with him until he slowly pulled the sweet out of his mouth, licked his lips and blew you a cheeky kiss from across the room.
“Moron” you mumbled and shook your head trying to ignore his devilish motives and get back to work.
Doyoung was right. You definitely needed to find someone to distract yourself from Yuta’s hold over you.
———————————————————————-
It was the night of the launch and everybody showed up with their own rides and  began mingling with former clients and partners. You arrived with Ten and Lucas who already decided to pre-game drinks just in case ‘there wasn’t enough at the party.’
“Hey please do us a favor and not hook up with Yuta tonight” Ten wrapped his arm around your shoulder as the two of you maneuvered through the groups of people. “Not planning on it” you replied in his ear, “and besides Doyoung already beat you to that pep talk.”
“Doyoung ?” Ten wrinkled his nose before ordering the two of you a mojito from the open bar.
“Yeah he said that I should move on, possibly find a new hookup” you shrugged, retrieving the drink and headed to a balcony that overlooked the first floor of the launch party. There were bodies of people everywhere, networking, checking out merchandise or just getting plain wasted.
“Seems like Lucas has already been cut off from the open bar” Ten pointed out, watching the tall man try to push his way back to the bar but the bouncer refused him to do so.
“Let me go help him out, I'll catch up later” Ten sighed and gave you a pat on your shoulder, “and yeah find a new hookup, if Yuta gets to sleep around so can you.”
You watched Ten disappear into the crowd and twirled the glass in your hand wishing what he had said was that easy.
There were no rules about hooking up with other people or just any reinforcements in general when it came to you and Yuta. But you we’re well aware of his loose sex life. There were many times where Yuta ended up going home with some random person if he wasn’t in the mood to hook up with you. But You on the other hand, never bothered these days because you were either too busy or whoever you met just ended up boring you to death.
“Y/n ?” You heard someone say from behind you and to your surprise it was a face you hadn’t seen in years.
“Jeno ? Oh my God” you quickly gave the blonde boy a quick hug, taken back by how much he had filled out since high school.
Jeno used to help you out from time to time during proms and fashion shows, lending out his strength to build anything from sculptures to installation art in the city.
“I was wondering when I was going to bump into you at one of these shows” his bright smile turned his eyes into crescents as he joined you at the balustrade. The Jeno you knew in high school was a lanky shy kinda guy but the Jeno you saw now was confident, mature and outright gorgeous.
“I’m quite surprised seeing you here actually” you chuckled shyly, “I didn’t know you’d pursue anything in this field to be honest.”
“Wow” Jeno mouthed and cutely grinned, “hmm that kinda hurt considering I’m the one who made the centerpiece of this entire launch”
Your eyes widened as you looked down at the structure of colored sharpies bound together to create a giant rubix cube in the middle of the party. “Holy shit that’s awesome my boss would absolutely love you” you gasped, knowing Taeyong absolutely loved installation art especially at a large scale like this.
“Oh who’s your boss ? I’m actually a free agent right now” Jeno replied and you quickly remembered the reason you were even at the launch in the first place. “Wait! We’re looking for recruits right now, let me just tell the others about it” you said excitedly, handing Jeno your drink and pulled up the group chat on your phone.
A few minutes later everyone confirmed the meeting place of a private room located on the second floor, quiet enough for a quick interview and decision. The best part of this job was everyone was so connected that there was no need to go through the process of a full portfolio look and a million interviews, all you needed was a trusted ally within the group to vouch for you and you were already one foot in.
“Ten and Yangyang took Lucas home after he tried to challenge the bartender to an arm wrestling match” Johnny entered the room and sipped his whiskey while Renjun and Sungchan followed close behind him. Taeyong and Doyoung stood in front of the room discussing something amongst themselves while you and Jeno took a seat on the burgundy couch.
Yuta entered shortly after, drink in hand and you noticed his eyes narrow in on Jeno who sat close to you. “Okay everyone who’s able to make it is here let’s get started” Taeyong clasped his hands together, “everybody this is Jeno Lee and a long time friend of y/n.”
“Not that long but yeah we did work together” Jeno chuckled and got to his feet, “well I’m an installation artist, I actually made the centerpiece in tonight’s launch.”
“Wow, it's amazing!” Renjun complimented and Sungchan agreed, giving Jeno a thumbs up, “yeah man that piece is brilliant.”
Jeno smiled from ear to ear as the meeting proceeded with everyone going through a few of Jenos works and what he could bring to the team. While your teammates concentrated on Jenos work all you could concentrate on was Jeno himself.
You wondered if Jeno knew how gorgeous he was in his effortless tank top and denim jeans combo. You hoped no one caught you staring but someone was well aware of your actions.
Yuta watched how you looked at the young guy, he wasn’t stupid, he knew when you found someone attractive and the way you were ogling Jeno right now, he didn’t like it at all.
The meeting ended and everyone welcomed Jeno to the collective. Johnny gave him a few pointers on which coffee to order from the cafe next to the office and Sungchan exchanged gamer tags with his new friend.
“I’ll see you guys on Monday” you waved as everyone exited the meeting and before you could make your way to catch up with Jeno and Sungchan you were being pulled back into the room.
“Your place or mine ?” Yuta mused and snaked an arm around your waist, looking down at you with dark eyes.
“Neither” you responded, “I’m gonna hang with Jeno and head home, you should find that little damsel to play with”
“Don’t be difficult y/n we're long overdue for our therapy session now” he groaned, pressing his lips to your ear and jaw. As much as he aroused you by just breathing you thought about what Doyoung had said, you needed to move on from this mess.
“Listen I think we need to just stop our sessions” you stepped away from him leaving Yuta slightly taken back from your actions, “let’s move on, be out of each other’s way and not make the group uncomfortable okay ?”
Yuta watched you press your lips together and finally make your exit, leaving him completely alone. You denied his advances for the first time since the two of you started sleeping together and something in him broke.
————————————————————————
Monday came around and the whole team buzzed about Jeno joining the team. Usually a new recruit would hang downstairs with the part time designers but because Taeyong trusted your judgement on Jeno, he was able to integrate with the team.
“Man that Jeno guy seems real chill” Yangyang hopped alongside Johnny and Yuta who were doing the morning coffee run. Yuta kept his composure despite knowing he wasn’t a huge fan of someone new joining the team and throwing off the dynamic. Hands in his pocket he ignored Yangyangs endless questions about the meeting, allowing Johnny to entertain the eager young boy.
“All I know is that having Jeno around means I don’t have to do all the carrying when Lucas bails on me” Johnny sipped his drink as they made their way back to their office. To their surprise Jeno had just arrived, looking like a lost puppy as he examined the names of the floors next to the secretary desk.
“Speak of the devil” Johnny threw his arm around Jeno, startling the boy and led him over to the elevator, “we’re at the top floor newbie, make sure to get an access card from Taeyong.”
“T-thanks” Jeno grinned and bowed politely to both Yuta and Yangyang before stepping into the elevator. The other guys barely bothered with Yuta’s reaction to Jeno because he rarely liked anyone enough to show any sign of enthusiasm. Jeno wasn’t going to change that.
The elevator opened to the top floor and Jeno awed at the chilled atmosphere you all had created here. From Ten’s thousands of plants around the room, Taeyongs fish, a pool table brought in by Lucas and gaming stations set up by Sungchan, it looked like paradise.
“This....is so cool oh my God” Jeno stepped in, his eyes wandering all over the place until it locked on you hanging over at the fish tank with Taeyong.
“Y/n!” Jeno jogged over and you greeted him with a wide smile and a tight hug, “Jeno you made it!” You gleamed. Jeno quickly shook Taeyong’s hand unsure of how formal of a boss he actually was.
“Whoa I feel like a principal” Taeyong giggled as he dropped a few fish flakes for his babies. “Wow, does everybody have their own cubicle ?” Jeno strolled around the room taking a peak at the vast versions of decor each cubicle adorned.
“Yeah” you responded, “but I don’t think yours is ready yet right Doyoung ?”
“That’s right,” Doyoung replied and folded his arms across his chest, “you don’t mind sharing for the week do you ?”
Jeno shrugged and looked over at you, “I was hoping to catch up with y/n anyway, I don’t mind sharing if it’s okay with you ?”
“It’s perfectly fine” you assured him and gestured over to your cubicle, “me casa is su casa.”
“I’m just gonna need some admin stuff sorted Jeno can you join me for a bit ?” Doyoung asked and Jeno nodded, giving you a quick hug before heading off to the administration offices with Doyoung. You watched the blonde guy exit and something just felt so much brighter in the office. You felt a sense of excitement of what’s to come now that Jeno was back in your life. But like all sunny days there always comes a thunderstorm and yours was staring you down like he was waiting to rain on your parade.
“What ?” You blinked, and Yuta shrugged as he peeked into your cubicle. “It’s a bit small isn’t it ? Don’t think two people can work in here” he raised his brow and looked over at you.
“It’s fine” you sighed and pushed past him, “it’s only for a week and he’s not a stranger to me, why do you care ?”
“I don’t” Yuta mumbled, dragging his feet back to his cubicle leaving you questioning his slightly odd behavior. Your mind quickly snapped out of it when Jeno had made his way back, that bright smile spread across his face and suddenly it felt like sunshine filled the room once more.
“I’m back!” He sang and pulled a chair opposite you, retrieving his laptop already looking like a regular in the office.
“Did Doyoung tell you about tonight ? Our little welcoming party over at Kleo’s Sky Bar ?” You asked, skimming through your emails for the day. “Oh, yeah he did, I mean you guys don’t have to do all of this” Jeno chuckled shyly, those pretty eyes distracting you for the third time that day.
“Nah we do it for everyone, and it’s better you know everyone drunk to avoid future surprises” you pointed over to Lucas who was coaching Yangyang through a trick shot at the pool table.  “Gotcha” Jeno nodded, as he watched one of the balls fly off the table and nearly knock Renjun in the back. It was chaos absolutely everyday in the office and you knew Jeno was going to love it here.
But even with Jeno in front of you, your new distraction, your new beginning, like Doyoung and Ten had said you needed, it was a habit at this point to look across the room, wondering what Yuta was up to. You watched him remove his cardigan, exposing his arms in those loose tank tops he always loved to wear as he concentrated on a sketch in front of him. Thankfully he was fully immersed in his work for once to take notice of your eyes on him. You continued observing him, watching him nod along to probably some alternative song blaring in his headphones as he sketched away on his iPad. He was so effortlessly attractive when he wasn’t aware of it.
You needed to snap out of this daydream.
“So are you seeing anyone these days ?”
“Hmm ?”
Jeno laughed as you finally realized that he’d been talking to you and you mentally cursed yourself for even being distracted by Yuta of all people.
“I’m sorry..Uhm no I’m not seeing anyone” you replied, tucking a strand of hair behind your ear and Jeno nodded cutely, “uh good...uhm not good that you’re alone but I was hoping you weren’t...God I’m still so bad at this”
You felt your cheeks heat up seeing Jeno fumble over his words and get nervous about asking you such a question. He was so adorable and something in you also wondered if he was like this in a relationship, or in the bedroom.
Was he dominant ? Was he passive ? Yuta was very dominant and you’d even rile him up to the point of him making you shut up with his actions.
“Y/n ?” Jeno waved his hand in front of your face and you shook your head, you couldn’t believe you did it again. What the hell was wrong with you ?
“Oh my God Jeno I'm so sorry...these emails are just a pain in the ass” you lied but thankfully Jeno took the bait and nodded, “it’s okay I’ll let you get back to work, I was going to go down to the cafe, do you want anything ?”
“Yeah a cafe latte would be great thank you” You felt guilty but it was still only two days since you decided to cut off Yuta so adjusting was going to take a bit of time.
Jeno had left for the cafe and you quickly dove straight into your work, hoping the time would just fly by. That was until you heard a knock and watched Yuta saunter into your cubicle and take a seat right in front of you. You watched him prop his elbows on the table and his piercing eyes narrowed down on you as if he were waiting for an answer.
“Why are you here ?” You questioned him, doing your best to divert your attention from his chiseled arms and exposed chest.
“I want an explanation,” Yuta said calmly, his voice deep and monotone.
“To what ?” You knew fully well what he was talking about but you were really  not in the mood to talk to him about this.  Yuta sighed and cocked his head to the side, clearly annoyed by your response. “Why the fuck are we calling it quits when we are nothing to each other ? Can’t we just hook up and ignore each other as usual ?” You sensed the annoyance in his voice. Denying him that night was indeed eating him up since you’ve never done it before.
“Yuta that’s the whole point” you rubbed your temples, “if we are nothing to each other then we shouldn’t be hooking up, it just ties us together for absolutely no reason.”
Yuta stayed quiet for a bit and eventually just nodded, “fine do whatever you want I guess.” You watched him walk out, not bothering to give you a second look and you wondered if the unsettling feeling you were experiencing in this moment was how he felt two days ago.
Nothing made sense.
————————————————————————
The evening arrived and everyone was in good spirits because you were all headed to one of your favourite spots in town. “Lucas you gotta do karaoke tonight” Sungchan threw his arm around the large brown haired man as they entered the bar. “Hmm give me a few rounds of drinks first” Lucas stuck out his tongue as he gestured to the waitress to get the gang the usual table.
Thankfully tonight the bar was fairly empty which meant that the gang could really loosen up without the prying eyes of strangers wishing you’d all just leave.
“Wow this place is pretty cool” Jeno gleamed, allowing you to enter the booth first like a true gentleman before scooting right in next to you. Yuta opted for the seat at the very end as usual, so he could sneak off to smoke without bothering any of friends every couple of minutes. The position also gave him a clear view of you and Jeno who were snuggled up in the corner already lost in your own private conversation.
“Beer ?” Johnny nudged Yuta, snapping him out of his fixation. Yuta nodded and slumped back in his seat trying his best to focus on whatever Renjun and Yangyang were talking about. It’s not like him to feel this way. Usually by now he’d be seated next to you, annoying the shit out of you until he saw those pretty eyes glare at him with rage. Then after you’d have a few drinks you’d be leaning on his shoulder, playing with his rings until he offered to take you home, and then-
“To Jeno!” Lucas yelled, lifting up a shot glass of God knows what and rallied everyone to join in on his toast.
“To Jeno” you grinned leaning into Jeno’s side and clinked glasses with him. Jeno felt warm, comforting, he made it so easy for you to just enjoy having him around rather than it being a task. That’s what a healthy relationship was like wasn’t it ?
“Jeno Im glad and also sorry that you have to join the most annoying group of people ever” Doyoung half smiled and Taeyong waved his hand, “we’re not that annoying Jeno I promise” the pink haired boy reassured him despite Renjun and Ten agreeing with Doyoung’s words. Jeno just laughed it off and turned to you with a bright smile as he draped his arm over your shoulder,
“Kinda feels like fate that I bumped into you huh?”
You know he may have been joking but Jeno was really unaware that his presence really was the antidote to getting rid of the Yuta situation. The team loved him, he was someone you knew and could trust, it was all right there for you, written on paper. Nothing could possibly go wrong… right ?  
“Fourth round is on me” Taeyong held up his card to the waitress despite his tired eyes were quite evident. Everyone was well over tipsy and Lucas had already entertained the bar with his beautiful rendition of “Starboy” by The Weeknd and Johnny stepped in as his air guitar player in the back.
“Gotta go to the bathroom!” You whined while Jeno helped you to your feet as you pushed your way past a sleeping Renjun and a spaced out Sungchan. You could tell tonight was going to take a toll on everyone tomorrow morning.
You quickly exited to the back where the bathrooms were located. You walked down the dim hallway, mentally thanking yourself for not overdoing it with the alcohol as each step became darker and darker.
“Watch your step” someone said and you turned around to see Yuta leaning over a railing with a cigarette sticking out of his mouth.
“Yeah” you managed to say and entered the bathroom before he could say anything else. The lack of alcohol didn’t stop the intrusive thoughts of Yuta filling your mind as you stopped to wash your hands. All you could think about was if he was going to be there when you walked back. Was he going to say anything ? Was he going to do anything ?
Were you going to do anything ?
You stepped outside, head a little more muddled than when you walked in and your first question was answered, Yuta was still there leaning up against the wall looking ahead of him. You slowly began your journey back, keeping your head down to avoid any type of confrontation with him.
“Y/n….” He mumbled, reaching out until he had a grip on your wrist causing your eyes to look up at him. Why did he look so goddamn breathtaking right now, with his stupid black hair all messy and his eyes luring you in like a lion to it’s prey.
“W-what ?” You replied, unsure why you still allowed him to hold you or even have the nerve to stop you from getting back to the rest of your friends. Yuta pushed himself off the wall and turned your body so you were now pressed against the concrete and his body was pressed against you. Your breathing hitched as he ran his fingers lightly down your arms. His eyes concentrated on his movements while yours focused on his face, watching him bite down on his lip as he took in the position the two of you were now in.
“You remember a few weeks back and I had you up against this wall moaning my name ?” His voice was so low that it aroused you, making you mentally curse yourself for the lewd thoughts.
“Yuta…” you sighed but there was a hint of desperation in your voice surprising yourself but not really phasing Yuta at all.
“Yeah just like that” he hummed before pressing his lips to your jaw, and peppered kisses all the way down to your neck. You felt yourself willingly giving him access, melting into every kiss he placed on your warm skin. Yuta’s hands grabbed your waist and pinned you against the wall while your hands instinctively wrapped around his neck and into the soft tufts of his hair.
“Yuta…we shouldn’t…I shouldn’t” you breathed, feeling yourself pulling him closer instead of pushing him away.
“Tell me no and I’ll stop y/n '' Yuta said into your ear to which you responded by pulling him by his belt buckle and pushed yourself up to capture his lips. Yuta’s dominance finally showed when he slipped his leg in between yours, giving you the chance to gain a bit of friction your core so desperately desired at this point. You felt Yuta’s smirk in your kiss when you began grinding down on his thigh showing him the obedient whore you were for him. Nothing Yuta loved more was for you to beg for him, beg for his touch, need him. That was until the two of you heard footsteps and to your dismay it was the last person you’d ever want to see you trapped against a wall with the man you hated.
It was Lee Jeno.
“I’m sorry I - I’m sorry I’ll leave you guys alone-“ Jeno stumbled, he felt his cheeks heat up and made his quick exit out of the hallway.
“Jeno!” You called, pushing Yuta off and tried to neaten yourself. Yuta felt a heated sensation overcoming his body the moment he saw the look in your eye when you saw Jeno and the way you pushed him off like he was a piece of trash. Like he was nothing.
“You know maybe if you’d stop pretending like you don’t wanna fuck me then we can go back to normal” Yuta spat, not caring about the unfortunate situation that had just unfolded.
You turned around to face him and the next words that came out of your mouth you weren’t sure if you were going to regret it or not.
“You’re right Yuta that’s all you are to me and that’s all you ever will be, a good fuck for about an hour and that’s it. Other than that there’s no use for you. At all.”
You stormed away before Yuta could respond, but by now you would have heard his curses echoing throughout the hallway, the whole damn bar would’ve heard it. But there was nothing.
Absolute silence.
———————————————————————
It had been two weeks since the interaction with Yuta at the bar and what you had to him still resonated with you, wanting so badly to apologize. But each time you saw him at the office he paid you little to no attention, going on about his day peacefully and you didn’t want to interrupt that.
Jeno thankfully understood the situation and was more than willing to be the rebound guy, his only rule being that besides work related matters you needed to cut off communication with Yuta altogether.
‘It was the only way you’d get full closure and my mind would be at peace’ Jeno had said after you gave him the rundown of everything that had happened.
Jeno and you agreed to just casually date, nothing official and nothing too serious. You guys went on movie dates, cafe dates and kept the physical aspect to a minimum. It was simple. Laidback. A very normal form of dating.
“Y/n I’m gonna need you on a photo shoot set in a few hours” Taeyong peeped his head into your cubicle and you looked up at him with a frown, “I thought we were working on that rappers record party ?”
“Yeah that rapper wants you, Yangyang and Yuta to tag up the wall for a video segment of his photo shoot” Taeyong replied with a shrug and left you bewildered.
Yuta. From all the damn people he could’ve chosen you had to work beside the person who practically called trash in your last meeting.
Great.
You wrapped up the last of your work and headed downstairs to the parking lot where an Uber was waiting for you. Thankfully Yangyang  could talk anyone’s head off because just sitting next to Yuta during the car ride felt tense. Normally he’d be pushing you into Yangyang or commenting on how his tattoos were better than yours. But all he did was look out of the window watching as the buildings moved past, keeping his airpods in to avoid any type of communication with anyone.
“You guys are finally here! Good Mark Lee is waiting for you at the shoot location” a woman dressed in all black led you into what looked like a gymnasium turned into a giant canvas.
“Are we going to paint all of this ? Man this is going to take forever” Yangyang gasped as the three of you walked through cans of paint, staff members and models.
“You guys are the designers from black space who did that painting over at Jynx Club ?” A young guy approached who you quickly realized was the new hot rapper around town, Mark Lee.
“Uh yeah, that’s us” you chuckled shyly and looked around, “are we really doing up the entire room ?”
“Oh hell nah just the backdrop behind me” Mark waved his hand, “we just laid everything out for a few cgi effects but you guys, do ya thing over there!” You watched the hyped boy get called over by the director leaving the three of you faced with a gigantic piece of white board and no idea.
“Since you guys are uncultured and probably don’t listen to Mark Lee, let me be in charge of this piece” Yangyang pulled out his iPad and began scrolling through some of his sketches. “Be my guest” Yuta shrugged, completely disinterested in the topic and most likely just wanted to get done and go home.
Yangyang finally settled on something that utilized all three of your styles and you all put  on your white overalls, immediately getting to work.
The vibe of the whole job was quite chilled and because of the fumes most of the staff had left the gymnasium leaving the three of you to work in peace. “God I need to pee so bad,” Yangyang groaned as he dangled from a ladder, an aerosol can in hand and a nearly completed section in his corner.
“Dude take a break we’re way behind you anyway” you walked over to steady the ladder as Yangyang finally made his way down. “Thanks guys, be back in 20” he shot you a thumbs up and disappeared into the tunnel leading to the gym lockers.
The tension returned but it was somehow worse than ever before. Even though Yuta was minding his own business for the first time while retrieving a paintbrush he looked at you. There was no unsettling glare or the feeling that he was pissed off at you, he just looked at you like he’d look at anyone else.
And somehow that felt even worse.
“Yuta…do you mind if we talk for a bit” you cleared your throat and he looked over at you and removed one of his airpods signaling to you that he was listening.
“Okay Uhm well I want to apologize for what I said that night” you bit down on your lip, “I didn’t mean it, and it was selfish of me to even think of you like that after coming onto you in the first place.”
Yuta blinked and eventually just nodded, “apology accepted, and I can see that you like Jeno so I’m trying to stay out of the way” he shrugged and continued painting as if this conversation wasn’t that deep to begin with.
“Are you not going to get me back? Are you sure you’re Yuta ?” You raised a brow and Yuta’s manic laugh echoed throughout the gymnasium, “you want me to be mean to you ? Wow y/n that’s truly some kink you got there”
“Ugh you know what I mean” you shoved him playfully, unaware that the brush you were wearing was still wet and now Yuta’s jaw adorned a light shade of orange.
“Oh shit I’m sorry” you quickly said but Yuta had already responded by swiping his red painted fingertips across your cheek and smirked, “now we’re even.”
“Hey mine is way worse than yours!” You grumbled and flicked more paint at Yuta which then enabled a paint war between the two of you. Yuta giggled so much that for a second you forgot how silent he actually had been the past two weeks. He was back to his usual self and so were you, playfully making a mess with him until Yangyang emerged from the tunnel and yelled,  “What are you morons doing ?!”
You and Yuta stood still in the middle of the room both covered head to toe in paint but the scene was way too comical to hold in your laughter any longer.
“Yangyang we’re so sorry but look, it gave the canvas a little more color” you gestured to it and you weren’t lying, it actually did look a lot better than before.
“Fine you two can go on break, I'll finish up so we’re not sitting around until midnight” Yangyang huffed and returned to his masterpiece. “Is there a place to clean up here ?” Yuta asked and the woman from earlier on walked in and pointed to the tunnel located in the back of the gym, “there are bathrooms and showers back there, our crew provided fresh towels as well so go ahead” she smiled and you silently thanked her before heading to the tunnel with Yuta.
“God I have paint everywhere” you whined as you took a look at yourself in the mirror. Yuta chuckled as he began inspecting himself, looking at the peculiar fingerprints all over his face and neck. “This shit better not stain my skin” he grumbled as he picked away a piece of paint from a crevice in his ear.  “Tell me about it” you responded and began removing the overalls. All you could think of was jumping into that shower stall and allowing the hot water to melt away all the grime and paint when you noticed Yuta was already down to his boxers.
Your gasp made Yuta snicker to himself as he walked around the bathroom looking for the ideal stall to take his shower in.
“Nothing you haven’t seen before” you heard him say before hopping into one of the stalls and drawing the curtain. Despite his words being correct it still made your cheeks heat up with embarrassment. You guys were comfortable like this before, not now, not with Jeno in your life.
You shook your head and entered a stall opposite Yuta and a few rows down, just so you weren’t close to him but not far enough that made you feel alone.
“Fuck how is their paint on my ass ? That’s impossible!” Yuta groaned and you couldn’t help but laugh, “TMI, Yuta” you replied and Yuta scoffed, “says the person who’s responsible for this.” The banter ended and again all you heard was the sound of both showers hitting your bodies simultaneously, the air filled with steam and more unusual tension.
“Y/n ?”
“Yeah?”
Yuta was silent for a while and then you heard his water turn off. “Do you uhm mind checking if I got all the paint off my back ? I’ll uhm put my boxers on” he mumbled and you felt your heartbeat speed up.
First of all the Yuta you knew would’ve just walked over butt ass naked and pulled your curtain aside not caring at all. The way he acted now was out of character, but somewhat familiar.
“Yuta I’m still in the shower and naked” you chewed on the inside of your cheek while you waited in silence.
“I’ll close my eyes, I just don’t want this shit to dry up when we get back to work later” he replied and you heard his light footsteps coming toward you. Quickly moving your hair back and holding the curtain against your body, you slowly peeled back the material to reveal Yuta with his back facing you and with his eyes closed, like he said.
You peered down at his golden skin, taking in his broad shoulders and tiny waist as you inspected for any more signs of acrylic paint.
“Uhm yeah you have a little on your shoulder blade and lower back”
“Do…you mind…”
You bit down on your lip knowing this was already crossing the line. But you had just made up and it was your fault that he had paint on his back in the first place. It was innocent. That’s what you had to keep telling yourself while staring at one of the sexiest people you had ever met.
You began rubbing away pieces of the paint, ignoring Yuta’s whines when you used too much pressure. Your hands traced down to his lower back, settling in the dip as you tried to remove a very stubborn piece of paint.
“Ugh this one is not coming off” you scratched at it and to your surprise Yuta had let out a moan instead of the usual wincing.
“I don’t mean to kink shame but-“
Yuta spun around and glared at you, challenging you to finish your sentence but you were more concerned at the fact that the only thing protecting your nude body from Yuta right now was a thin piece of fabric.
“Yuta!” You scolded and he rolled his eyes, “oh please y/n I’ve seen it all, now can you please help me with the paint ?”
You watched wide eyed as Yuta stepped into the shower going back on his word to close his eyes and face the wall. You couldn’t believe what was happening right now but the quicker you removed the paint the quicker he’d be out of here.
“Aren’t your boxers…going to get wet ?” You watched him step closer to water already allowing his hair to soak up the warm stream. “Well you’re not gonna let me take them off with you in here and I’ll probably just go commando when we get back to the office” Yuta shrugged and you should’ve known that was one of his options since he has done it in the past.
You sighed and let go of the curtain allowing your naked body to be free and go back to work on his paint splatter. Yuta was calm and collected throughout the process, you silently commended him on his restraint, that was until he decided to turn around and look at you.
“Y-Yuta you promised” your voice was small but you still didn’t do much to cover up your body. Yuta leaned against the cold ceramic wall as he stared at you, his stare was dark, inviting you in like that night at the bar.
“I’m not going to do anything y/n unless you want me to” he reassured you, still maintaining a distance and doing absolutely nothing to persuade you. But did you need persuasion when all he needed to do was be in the same room as you?
The two of you stared in each other’s eyes for a few minutes and you had no idea who actually made the first move but there you were in the center of the shower stall, in a random gymnasium, kissing Yuta Nakamoto.
Yuta’s bare body was pressed against yours as the two of you fought for dominance in the kiss. You placed your hands on his chest to which he responded by wrapping his arms around your waist, pulling you closer until his hardened member twitched against your stomach. There were no words, just actions. Each kiss only made you more desperate for him, not feeling this type of arousal since that night at the bar. He was the only person who could turn you on to the point that every image of Jeno was erased from your mind.
You tugged down his boxers with urgency and Yuta helped you quicken the process, quickly kicking away the piece of clothing and had you pushed up against the wall with your legs wrapped around his waist. Yuta pulled away from your lips with a sultry bite on your bottom lip and lined up his member with your core. He kept his eyes on you the entire time from the moment he slipped into your wetness to the harsh thrusts he was now giving to you against the coldness of the wall. You felt like you were complete, filled with the right amount of passion and ecstasy. God you hated to admit it but nobody could fuck you the way Yuta did. Absolutely no one.
Yuta slowed down his thrusts and you brought your feet back to the ground, gesturing for him to take a seat on the floor and got on top of his member once more. Yuta threw his head back as you rode him relentlessly, grabbing onto your ass as he tried to meet your rhythm. The sight of him partially under the water and his swollen lips was delicious, you couldn’t ask for a better view right now. Yuta on the hand was also enjoying having you bounce on his length, quickly realizing that the women he had bedded during his time without you were not worth it. Not a single one of them made him feel the way you did. Even the times you guys were fucking around he’d sleep with other women because he didn’t want to admit that you are his best. You will always be his best.
“G-gonna cum” you panted and Yuta quickly rubbed circles on your clit to help you reach your orgasm. He watched your body spasm and you threw your head back with a soft moan. The sight alone made him come undone straight after you, filling you up completely.
You slowly got to your feet with the help of Yuta offering his hand and managed to finally catch your breath.
What the fuck did you just do ?
“Before you say this was a mistake and you hate me, hear me out” Yuta spoke up, “I need to know something”
You bit down on your lip. “Yeah?”
“Do you like me ?”
“What ?” You quietly questioned and Yuta sighed, rubbing his temples, “do you like me y/n ? actually like me ? Or is it you just like fucking me ?”
“I don’t know Yuta you know that I’m seeing Je-“you began explaining before Yuta quickly cut you off. “Don’t say his name, listen I know you like fucking me because that’s what happened right now despite whatever feelings you have for…Jen..him.”
“So what am I supposed to do ?” You asked, still unsure of how you were even going to face Jeno back at the office after this.
“Use me,” Yuta deadpanned, “keep me as your dirty little secret and I won’t tell a soul. I just don’t want this to end. I’m fucking addicted to this, and clearly you’re in need of me just as much as I need you.”
Yuta took a step forward and cupped your cheek with the palm of his hand. “I just crave you all goddamn day and nothing is fulfilling that need until right now.”
You knew exactly what he was talking about but you couldn’t bring yourself to share how much you ached for him. Late nights when you were alone you even pleased yourself with memories of him. You were unsure if it was lust at this point or you actually missed being around him. Despite every fight and argument the two of you had, there was something always drawing you in.
“First of all I don’t hate you” you sighed and he chuckled dryly before you continued, “I don’t know if this is a good idea but I’m only agreeing because Jeno and I aren’t serious yet and if we are-“
“I’ll back off I promise” Yuta quickly added and you nodded, “he can’t know about this, nobody can.”
“You have my word” Yuta pressed his lips together and for the first time he looked absolutely serious. Something in you made you trust that he wouldn’t fuck this up, because that would mean the one thing he wanted most right now would fall through.
You just hoped that this little need the two of you had for each other wasn’t turning into an…obsession.
————————————————————————-
“You guys are finally back” Ten stretched his arms above his head as you, Yangyang and Yuta returned back to the office after quite an eventful afternoon.
“Wanna see pics ? It turned out great!” Yangyang grinned quickly, running over to the older guys, showing off his artwork. Jeno was over at the game area with Sungchan completely invested in beating his friend in a round of Call Of Duty.
“Hey you” you sunk into the beanbag next to Jeno who shot you a quick glance before concentrating on his next move, “your hairs wet, why ?”
“Showered after the painting session” you answered diligently hoping there were no follow up questions. Thankfully he was way too invested in his video game to care much, you really weren't in the mood for an interrogation after half a day with Yuta.
Jeno asked a lot of questions when he felt insecure about something. Even though time had been short with him, it still somehow felt like a 2 year relationship. For a young guy Jeno was pretty old fashioned, he made you pick all the date places and never bothered to make the first move physically until you hinted to him that it was okay.
He was so different to what you were used to and you were afraid that if you didn’t speed things up with him this little secret with Yuta would turn into a reality.
“Hey y/n can you help me with lunch ?” Doyoung called from the makeshift kitchen area a few feet away and you silently thanked him for distracting you from your thoughts.
“Hey Doyoung” you smiled as you began opening containers from the Chinese delivery you guys frequented. “Just wanted to check in with you” Doyoung sweetly said as he grabbed a few utensils, “you and Jeno huh ? Was that part of my advice ?”
You pressed your lips together and nodded. “Yeah I guess so, it also helps that I’ve known him for a while now and he did actually have a thing for me in high school” Doyoung cocked his head at your words and leaned in, “and you liked him back or you’re seeing something in him now that you didn’t see before ?”
“U-uhm I think he’s hot” you chewed on your lip and Doyoung chuckled softly, “you know not everything is about looks or…hooking up, do you enjoy his time ? His interests ? His company ?”
You turned back to where Jeno was still playing his video games and you did feel a little confused as to what you guys actually did have in common. “I mean…” you began, crossing your arms across your chest, “we’ve only been seeing each other romantically for two weeks I think it’s too soon to tell.”
Doyoung combed back his hair and instead of bringing forth his insight in order to make you see things clearer he just nodded.
“You’re probably right, well I wish you guys all the best, it’s better than being with someone who doesn’t care emotionally right ?”
You slowly nodded and with that Doyoung began taking the food to the dining area leaving you with more confusing thoughts than you had before.
Lunch and the rest of the evening went on smoothly. Yuta stayed out of your way and there was absolutely no sign that the two of you we’re together that day. It was easier to fake seeing Yuta since the group knew the two of you would’ve been bickering straight after hooking up. It was the perfect illusion.
“Mark Lee’s party is at 9pm tomorrow night you guys, don’t forget” Taeyong looked around the room until he heard a confirmation from every single mouth.
“9pm ? Shit would it be okay if I only stuck around for an hour ?” Jeno sighed and looked over at Taeyong, “my brothers in town and I promised I'd get him from the airport at 10:30.”
“Well you’d have to show one of the guys here how to turn the installation on” Doyoung’s worried look matched Taeyong.
“I’ll be there to turn it on I’ll just need to leave straight after” Jeno assured them and squeezed your hand under the table, “it’s all really sudden but you’ll be okay right ?”
“I’ll be fine, I’m probably going to head home after the music video airing anyway” you smiled at him and he placed a soft kiss on your forehead earning a whistle from Lucas.
Yuta awkwardly shuffled at the sudden PDA and he hoped no one at the table noticed but it caught the attention of none other than Johnny Suh who narrowed his eyes at his coffee run mate.
The evening had wrapped up and everyone had already headed home except for Yuta and Johnny who were adamant on finishing a photography project for a band they were working with.
“Trouble in paradise ?” Johnny hummed as he edited an image on his laptop. Yuta, who was busy sorting out the Polaroids, turned to face his large best friend with a lost expression.
“Huh?” He raised a brow to which Johnny shook his head still staring at his screen.
“I can’t believe this, after all these fucking hellish months now you realize you like her?”
Yuta leaned in on the desk. “What the heck are you on about Johnny ?”
“Y/n” Johnny sighed and your name made Yuta’s heart race a bit, hoping Johnny hadn’t found out about the shower incident. God you’d hate him forever if anyone found out.
“Listen Johnny we-“
“You like her! After all those months of fighting I knew you were secretly in love and now” Johnny threw his hands in the air, “now that Jeno has entered the arena you have ruined your chances. Way to go buddy.”
“Wait what ?! I’m not in love with y/n!” Yuta scoffed. Saying that sentence out loud felt like a lie even though he couldn’t fully convince himself.  Was he in love ? Was Johnny mistaking love for just lust ?
That’s all it was and ever was right ?
You enjoyed fucking around with him and he was okay with it. That’s what he wanted too. Even if you didn’t answer his question of whether you liked him or not, it was okay. Whatever you wanted was okay as long he got to be with you.
“I’m not in love with y/n.”
---------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
You and Jeno arrived at the party with Yangyang and Sungchan all helping carry equipment for Jeno’s installation. The piece was a pixel art board that formed Mark Lee’s latest EP cover, and once plugged in it gave it an animated effect, basically bringing the EP cover to life. You marvelled at the hard work Jeno had put in, it was just a shame that he wasn't sticking around to receive praise from everyone who attended.
“Are you sure you’ll be okay here ? I know how much you hate these parties” Jeno pressed his lips together as he brought you into a tight hug. You hummed and looked up at him smiling, “Only been dragged to one of these parties a million times, another round won't hurt.” Jeno responded by pressing his lips to your forehead before joining Sungchan in setting up the installation. You always wondered why Jeno opted for your forehead instead of your lips most of the time despite already having your first real kiss. You understood he wasn't big on PDA, but the only time you ever got to kiss him was at your apartment door when a date had ended or when you sneaked in a kiss at the cinema. As much as you liked his chivalry, God at times you just wished he took initiative and bent you over your kitchen counter and had his way with you. It was kinda humorous how Jeno was the ideal type of any women out there but for you, you needed an unhinged, sex-crazed maniac to match your energy.
You needed Yu-
“It looks really good Jeno.” Your breathing hitched when you heard Yuta’s voice from behind you. You turned around but to your surprise he wasn't alone. Yuta was accompanied by a familiar face, Mei, a part-time designer from a few floors down. The way she held onto his arm made something stir inside of you. Your cheeks burned up and you dare say it for the first time you felt...jealous.
You were used to seeing Yuta with many different girls but it was always some nobody that he never bothered to introduce to the group. He always made sure none of them integrated with his work life but Mei, Mei was the first person you actually knew.
“y/n its been a while, Oh my God you look great” she said sweetly and you returned a friendly smile despite your awkwardness. Yuta gave you a quick glance not really paying you any mind as he kept a steady hand on Mei’s lower back, the two of them practically looking like a couple. It made you feel uneasy. After all he had said to you that afternoon in the shower, It seemed like he didn't mean it.
“It’s perfect Jeno you really outdid yourself” Taeyong applauded as the rest of the team finally arrived, all congratulating Jeno on his first big project under Blank Space. Jeno shyly thanked everyone and checked his watch, sighing that it was already time for him to depart.
“You're going now ?” You walked over to wrap your arms around his waist. You didn't care much before about Jeno leaving early, before Yuta decided to bring a date to the party which meant you would definitely be on your own. Jeno pouted and stroked your head, “yeah, we're still on for Sunday though right ?” and you replied with a nod before sinking into one of his very warm hugs. You had no idea why, but the need to ease your jealousy and get back at Yuta was so strong that you ended up pulling out of the hug and kissed Jeno in front of everyone. Thankfully Jeno didn't shy away and maybe the guilt of leaving you made him return the kiss, wrapping his arms around your waist, pulling you against your body.
“Get a room you guys” Ten joked when the two of you finally pulled away, and Jeno chuckled shyly before leaning into your ear, “let’s do that more often” he cheekily smiled and pecked your lips once more before making his way to the exit. Johnny watched as Yuta still looked visibly uncomfortable, more so now than before. But Johnny also knew how damn stubborn Yuta was and watched him throw his arm around Mei, departing from the group most likely for the rest of the night.
It was late into the night and Yuta was already way too many shots down to call himself sober. Mei was talking but he was not listening. Mei was a nice girl who had made it known to him that she liked him for a while now, but unfortunately for her she was not you. All Yuta wanted was you and again he cursed himself for being so fucking hooked. He wanted to make you jealous but after he saw you kiss Jeno it just came back to him ten thousand times harder. He came to terms with his addiction now in his drunken state he was scanning the crowd for a glimpse of the only person he cared about.
You.
“Hey I'm going to leave now...do you want to come with ?” Mei nervously bit down on her lip hoping the man she's been pining for months will finally take notice of her.
“Nah im good, I’m probably going to wait until my friends leave” Yuta replied coldly, his eyes still scanning the crowd as he took another sip from his jack daniels and coca-cola concoction. Mei nodded, disappointed that her night had not gone as planned and left silently, leaving her date to finally gain his freedom.
Yuta scanned the crowd for the tenth time until he did a double take at a figure in the back corner, dancing on their own with no care in the world. Downing the rest of his drink Yuta kept his eyes focused on you despite the alcohol blurring his vision and his body feeling heavy, he had to get to you.
You were in the same state as him, most likely worse since Lucas challenged you to a drink off. You had no clue when you separated from the rest of the group so you stuck a little corner hoping to sober up before heading home. As you swayed along to the music you felt someone wrap their hands around your waist and the familiar scent of that Tom Ford perfume made you realize who it was.
“Yuta…” you groaned, pulling his hands away from your body, still remembering how awful he made you feel a few hours earlier. God were you the rebound chick now ? The thought alone was sickening.
Yuta, still blissfully unaware that you were mad at him, still pushed his body against yours until your back was pressed against the wall and you had no choice but to look up at him. You watched him move his face down in order to capture your lips, but you quickly evaded it with a turn of your head. Yuta scoffed and sufficed for your neck, giving you soft wet kisses all the way down to your collarbones until you pushed him off yet again.
“What the fuck ?” He growled in your ear, “I thought we had a deal.” You rolled your eyes at him, there was the side of Yuta you hated the most. You wondered how long it would be until he factory reseted back to an asshole.
“I thought I was first choice” you snapped at him, “all your talk about no one can satisfy you like I can, use me y/n, I only want you” you mimicked his voice and flipped him off with your finger. Yuta knew you were jealous but it was kind of ironic given the situation. You were the one in a relationship, not him. “Oh so I'm supposed to see you suck face with Jeno but I can't have any fun y/n ?” Yuta had you back against the wall, this time his hand was locked on your jaw with his lips against your ear.
“Maybe I should've fucked Mei” Yuta’s voice was dark, you felt him smirk against your ear when his words clearly affected you, “Maybe if I fucked her she would've been so good that i would forget all about you y/n.” Your eyes darted to him and he cocked his head, challenging you, waiting to see how much you could take before you caved. Normally you’d be the one getting Yuta riled up like this. It was common knowledge that Yuta was a very jealous person and just mentioning another man sexually he would lose his mind. Once you were craving his attention and casually mentioned to him that if Doyoung was interested you’d let him screw you on his office desk, and Yuta responded by fucking you senseless in the supply closet until the only name that escaped your lips was his.
But now the tables were turned and you didn't want to hear about Mei. You didn't want to picture her next to Yuta let alone in bed with him. It was selfish on your part considering Jeno, but you wanted Yuta all to yourself.
“Shut up” you narrowed your eyes at him and grabbed a fist full of his shirt and brought him closer. Yuta traced his thumb over your lips and smiled, already knowing he won this round.
“Tell me why I cant fuck her right now y/n, tell me” he coaxed, and you responded by pulling him into a sensual kiss, your tongue slipping into his mouth and your hand palming his member until you heard him groan in your ear,
You pulled away from the kiss and pressed your swollen lips to his ear, “Because...you're mine.” Yuta licked his own lips at your words and grabbed at your ass,
“Show me I'm yours, baby.”
You had no idea when and how the both of you got to Yuta’s apartment in one piece but the moment he had his foot in the door, Yuta was tugging your dress over your head. “Fuck why do you always wear the most  complicated things” Yuta whined which you found cute even though you would never let him know that you were well aware of his adorable side. Sighing from victory, Yuta finally got your dress off and pulled you into his familiar bedroom, which you honestly missed so fucking much.
Taking in the familiar scent of his perfume and his slightly messy room, with posters on the walls, and a rack of band shirts - it was his little heaven and you loved it.
You walked over to lie on his bed, sinking into the soft fabric of the bed sheets as a familiar rock song began playing from Yuta’s stereo. You watched him as he discarded his shirt and ripped jeans, showing off his chest tattoos and belly ring, just the sight of him was already making you wet. Yuta was none the better, groaning as his boner pushed against the fabric of his underwear as his eyes took in your body, sexily laid out for him like you used to be.
“Fuck…” his lips parted as he watched you spread your legs, waiting for him obediently. Yuta crawled up onto the bed and nestled in between your thighs, his mischievous eyes looking up at yours before he began peeling away the thin piece of fabric revealing your core.
“You're…so…wet baby” he said in a low voice and leaned in to give your heat a soft kiss. The instant contact made your body shiver, reaching down to play with his dark curls. “Yuta…please” you whined as he continued his light kisses, not giving you the pressure you desired. Yuta looked up with an innocent face and cocked his head, “Why should I do it ?” His fingers traced circles on your hips and abdomen, waiting for an answer.
“Because…you’re mine Yuta, I want you…all to myself…I want to please me, only me” you threw your head back. Not having sex for over a month was really getting to you and the frustration had you saying just about anything. Yuta watched you squirm and after hearing those words he figured it was a good enough reward for his dear fuck-buddy. Yuta kissed your core once more but this time his tongue darted out every once in a while, awarding you with a better sensation. You moaned inaudible words as he began eating you out like a pro, lapping away like his life depended on it before inserting two fingers inside you.
“Yuta wait I’m gonna-“ you grabbed onto his hair, feeling your orgasm come on way too early for your liking as his fingers moved rapidly and his tongue licked away at your clit. Yuta ignored your plea knowing this was only the first of many and honestly he was glad that he was still the only man giving you orgasms for the past couple of months.
Yuta pulled away, a devilish smirk spread across his face as he watched you cum all over his fingers and just as your vision was in focus you had the pleasure of seeing him lick his fingers clean as if he just had the most amazing meal ever,
“Mmmm tasty” he bit down on his lip and winked at you. God he was so damn cocky, and it didn’t take you long to recover from that orgasm to make room for another. You got to your knees and sat back, your face now level with Yuta’s clothed member.
Yuta groaned as you palmed him, his length already twitching against your touch. He wouldn’t admit it to anyone but since the night you had called it off with him, his desire had subsided and he wondered if you were the sole reason for his high sex drive. You placed your lips against his belly ring, giving it a kiss before pulling down his boxers and allowing his member to spring free. Yuta cursed as your tongue swiped across the tip and you looked up at him with those large eyes, and Yuta knew exactly what you were waiting for. Positioning your mouth over his tip, you waited until Yuta grabbed a fistful of your hair and guided you down on his length, groaning loudly as you took in all of him.
Yuta’s hips began to meet your rhythm and the grip on your hair tightened, the sudden roughness made you shiver with excitement. You and Yuta always liked it rough, since it took out your anger on each other and any type of nurturing or romance would throw off the dynamic.  
Yuta threw his head back as he released, keeping you on him until you swallowed every bit. He muttered curse words as he pulled out and watched you lick your lips, swiping the corner of your mouth with your thumb and sucked it off.
“Yum” you mimicked his words from earlier with a smirk essentially driving Yuta crazy with lust. You giggled as he pushed you onto the bed and attacked you with bites and kisses, leading from your neck down to the valley of your breasts. “How long until you get hard again?” You sighed playfully but winced when Yuta’s teeth sunk into your skin, punishing you for your words.
“Cocky aren’t we ?” He moved back up to your lips and kissed you passionately. Just as you began melting into the kiss, Yuta pulled away and jumped off his bed heading to his closet.
“What are you doing ?” You groaned as you watched him sift through the mess of his closet until he finally retrieved a familiar box. “Yuta you’re literally hard right now, come on let’s just fuck already” you whined, knowing that when Yuta brought out that box it was his way of getting rid of your bratty attitude.
“If you wanna be impatient two can play at that game” he grinned and hopped onto the bed, pulling out his favorite pair of hair cuffs and with ease, cuffed you to his headboard. You watched him look through his box of toys, rubbing your thighs together excited about what his choice will be.
Yuta grabbed something out of the box and discarded the rest onto the floor, making his way back up to your body and pressed his lips against your ear, “you remember the safe word baby ?” Yuta pecked you when you nodded and you watched him insert a mini vibrator in your core and roll off the bed with the remote in his hand.
“I wasn’t even that mean to you” you grumbled, still getting used to the device inserted in you. Yuta shrugged and turned the device on, keeping it on a low setting as he watched you stir in his bed.
“I’m not punishing you for that actually, I’m punishing you for something else you did” he said calmly, pacing around the room butt ass naked.  You frowned and thought back to the party when he had found you, what did you say to him ?
“I’m sorry I pushed you…away” you pouted but a moan escaped your lips when you felt the setting turn higher and you watched Yuta shake his head, “nope that’s not it.” You groaned and threw your head back, unable to even think what the hell he could be on about. Yuta would get mad at every little thing so it honestly could’ve been anything.
“Can’t I have a hint or something ?” You pleaded and Yuta raised his eyebrow and eventually sighed, giving in too easily. “It happened in the beginning at the party” he said annoyingly, and finally something in your brain clicked.
“The kiss ? You’re mad over the kiss ?” Your words fell off when you felt the vibrator go another setting higher, the new speed was decent enough to start building a second orgasm. “You don’t sound like you’re apologizing for it” Yuta scoffed and dangled the remote in front of your face, “this goes up 4 more speeds y/n.”
“Why do I need to apologize for kissing my boyfriend when-“
Another setting higher.
“Fuck wait Yuta” you breathed, it was impossible to even keep focused at the new speed and the sensation was now running throughout your entire body. “You kissed him in front of me to make me jealous didn't you?” Yuta questioned and you nodded frantically, pressing your thighs together to ease the intensity, “yes yes oh my God, I wanted to make you….jealous because you brought someone else…and..fuck” just as you felt your body finally build up a perfect orgasm the vibrator suddenly turned off and you were met with Yuta’s cocky smile.
“You like to have it all don’t you y/n” he hummed as flung the remote aside and knelt between your thighs that were shaking from the orgasm denial. “You want to fuck me, but not let me fuck anyone else, you want Jeno but you don’t want me to get mad over it” he continued as he pulled the dripping wet toy out of your core and tossed it to the floor. Yuta placed his hands on either side of you and looked down at your defeated face and smiled, “Do you want me to fuck someone else?”
You shook your head and Yuta undid one of the handcuffs. He pressed a soft kiss to your cheek and again asked you another question, “Do you want to fuck me ?” and you quickly nodded, earning your second hand free from the cuffs allowing them to fall to your sides. Yuta placed his hand around your throat and squeezed gently, smirking as you arched your back, thirsting for him so desperately.
“Who would fuck you better, me or Jeno ?” Yuta mused as his hand released a bit of pressure on your throat. “Y-you” your voice was small and Yuta released your throat and his hand moved down to smack your thigh.
“Say it, say who will fuck you better” he hissed.
“You Yuta, you will fuck me better than anyone…better than Jeno” Yuta grinned at your words, a little surprised that you used Jeno’s name in such a blasphemous way. He was in euphoria at this point. It was all he needed to hear after continuously seeing you and Jeno look as if you were in love with each other.
It was all wrong.
You and him loved each other.
Fuck. He loved you. He really did.
Yuta pushed his length into your core and groaned as the realization of his thoughts and his conversation with Johnny all hit him at once. The sight of you beneath him, moaning his name and your confession that you wanted him over Jeno. It was all too much.
You moaned as he thrusted into you, his hips violently hitting against yours as your nails dug into his lower back. The lewd sounds filled the room and for a second the two of you looked into each other’s eyes, both feeling something…different. Usually Yuta would be fucking you from behind, his favourite position because he loved looking at your ass but tonight especially after his sudden questioning, he took care of you differently.
You don’t know what came over you and it was yet another thing you never did during sex but you pulled him down to kiss you. Your lips moved passionately against his, desperately clinging to his body as his strokes became longer and more powerful. Yuta sighed into the kiss, palming your cheek and his movements suddenly became more gentle as if he were making love to you, not fucking you.
“Yuta…I’m close” you moaned into his ear, loving this new feeling of him on your body. Yuta hummed in response and quickened his pace, making sure to sneak in a kiss every now and then until he finally brought you to your long awaited orgasm. You watched him bite down on his lip as he thrusted into you, chasing his own orgasm until he pressed his against your ear and said the words you never thought you’d hear from him.
“I love you y/n”
Your body slightly froze as Yuta finally came and he rolled off your body, mentally cursing himself for allowing those words to escape his mouth at this moment. But it’s what he felt.
Johnny was right.
“W-what ?” You finally managed to say and turned to him. Yuta licked his lips and kept his focus on the ceiling above him.
“You heard me right” he said calmly and you felt your heart race. Where was this coming from ? He was the one who always implemented the no romance rule and he chooses now, the moment you’re seeing someone else to confess to you.
“I have to go” you murmured and jumped off the bed, starting to collect your clothes from the floor. You heard the bed creak and Yuta sat up and watched you dress up. “It’s late now y/n and you drank, stay the night and leave when the suns up” he insisted, eventually grabbing his own boxers,
“Here you can sleep in one of my shirts and you’re welcome to sleep in my bed for the night.”
“Y-you…that was one of the rules…no staying over” you were biting on your nails, everything that had happened in the last ten minutes made no sense. Yuta shoved the shirt into your hands and sighed, “Look, we don’t have to talk about what I said or what happened, just stay the night and you can go back to your perfect life with Jeno.” Yuta began making his way to his door when you grabbed onto his arm making him stop in his tracks,
“Where are you going ?” You asked him softly.
Yuta looked at you and sighed, “I’m going to sleep on the couch.”
“Yuta..”
“What ?”
“Stay with me.”
—-—————————————————————
You had no idea why you had told him to stay in bed with you considering all that had happened a few minutes ago. But here you were, curled into his chest listening to his heartbeat as he lightly stroked your hair.
“How…long ?” You broke the silence and felt his heartbeat slightly race, “The realization came recently but I’ve…always liked you y/n” Yuta responded softly.
“Well you don’t have a good way of showing it” you rolled your eyes and Yuta’s soft laughter filled the room. “Well at first you actually were annoying but I did find you cute” He replied and shifted until you were on your back looking up at him,
“You put up with me and we’re not afraid to fight back. You know it’s not even about the sex, I think we’ve always enjoyed each other’s company, we just have a weird way of showing it.” You listened to his words and did a bit of reflection for yourself. You were already well aware that he occupied your mind 24/7 and did not enjoy seeing him around other girls he would eventually sleep with. But was this…love ? You weren't so sure.
“Do you ever think it’s more of an addiction rather than…love ?” You looked up at him, hoping your words did not offend his sudden confession in any way. Yuta sighed and rolled onto his back, staring up at the ceiling deep in thought.
“What is love then ?” He murmured, clearly by the look on his face he had been pondering on this question for a while now. You joined him in laying on your back and looked up at the ceiling, “love is when the other person completes you” you began, “when you’re having a dull day and just the sight of them could turn that around. Love is wanting to protect that person all the time, it’s just love.”
Yuta turned to you, “have you ever been in love ?”
You shook your head. “I don’t think so.”  Yuta shrugged and returned his focus above him, “whatever you just described is how I feel, but maybe I’m just still hung up on the Jeno situation.” You felt a pang in your chest as if you just completely destroyed his spirit. You always saw Yuta as a strong confident presence, yet the person next to you seemed lost, he looked broken. But deep down you knew that whatever he was describing had floated in your head from time to time, maybe it needed to be said out loud for you to finally realize.
“Give me a week”
“Huh ?” Yuta’s eyebrows raised at you.
“Give me a week to figure all of this out and we will have this talk again” you sat up and looked back at him. Yuta propped himself up on his elbows and shook his head, “y/n, if you don’t feel the same way it’s okay I won’t come in between you and…Jeno anymore.”
“Yuta”
“Hmm?”
You pulled the boy by his shirt until you were able to lock your lips with his, slipping your tongue into his mouth and he mimicked your actions before pulling away, a confused expression spreading across his face.
“I don’t know where this is going to go and whether we’re right for each other,” you chuckled dryly, “but I will always want you Yuta, you’re not coming between Jeno and I because the one who wants… .”
————————————————————————
It was finally Monday and you already regretted seeing Jeno at the office since you faked a terrible hangover to get out of the Sunday date, something that wasn’t entirely a lie. You spent the whole of Sunday laying in your bed thinking about the night you spent with Yuta and all that was shared during the morning.
You thought back on your own words about what your version of love was. Protecting someone. You reminisced about the days when Yuta got sick after a night out and you were the one to take care of him despite his protests. You thought back to when the two of you were working on a project, arguing as usual and you managed to slip on a wet paint spot, causing you to sprain your ankle. Yuta was the one to help you around the office when needed, he wasn’t appointed to you nor did he have to use up his own time to help you but he did it anyway.
When you were having a dull day the person you loved would find a way to brighten it up, just the sight of them was enough. There was an occasion where a client got real mean with you in the office, and hated the project you worked almost a month on, refusing to pay you for the labor you had put in. Yuta had seen the commotion and joined you in your booth and the two of you flooded the clients company with hilarious bad reviews anonymously until you were literally tearing up from laughter. That was one of the rare days the two of you didn’t get into an argument and the moment completely slipped your mind. You had  forgotten that Yuta and you actually shared fond memories of each other outside the bedroom.
You thought about every moment you got to the office and Yuta would be sticking his tongue out at you, calling you names and being a jerk as usual. But days when he had to work out of the office felt boring, empty, it wasn’t worth sitting in your cubicle without seeing him across from you.
But then after feeling the warm fuzziness of knowing Yuta felt the same way about you, your phone buzzed with Jeno’s name across the screen. Why were you doing this to him ? Why was Jeno in the crossfire when all he wanted to do was get to know you better ?
All you ever wanted was a distraction from the man you were scared to fall in love with.
“Heyyy you, you feeling okay ?” Jeno beamed when you entered the office, immediately bringing you into a tight hug and ending with a kiss on the cheek. You nodded and the sense of guilt over took your body as you looked up at his cheery smile.
“I heard you guys got so wasted at the party, damn I wish I stayed” Jeno giggled as the two of you walked hand in hand over to your cubicle. “Yeah it was…crazy” you faked a smile before settling in your seat. You looked across, a force of habit and you were greeted by a soft smile from Yuta before quietly returning to his work.
“I was thinking we should go see that new marvel movie tonight, what do you think ?” Jeno’s eyes were so bright and full of energy that everytime you looked into them it just made it harder to keep up your facade. “I’m pretty busy this week but hey Friday you can come over, I…need to talk to you anyway” you bit down on your lip and Jeno’s expression changed from excited to slightly wary, clearly noticing that something wasn’t quite right.
“Is….everything okay?” He asked in a staggered voice, and you slowly nodded and reached to squeeze his hand, “yeah let’s hang out on Friday okay ?” You smiled and Jeno pressed his lips together and nodded. You watched him exit your cubicle and all that was left in your view was the only person you wanted to see today, Yuta.
Yuta looked up and caught your stare, smiling softly as he rested his chin on the palm of his hand and winked at you. It was sweet and innocent, nothing like how he usually acted from across the room. You found yourself blushing and hid your face until you heard a beep come from your phone. Opening the messenger app you were greeted by a picture of yourself hiding your crimson cheeks with the message ‘Cute’ attached to it.
y/n: didn’t take you for a simp.
yutaa: fuck off, I have a folder like this.
You stifled your laughter when Yuta sent a screenshot with a folder just of you in your cubicle. From you flipping him off, to you glaring at him clearly pissed off at something he had said, and one of you trying your best to pay attention to whatever story Yangyang was on about.
y/n: oh my god you’re a BIG SIMP.
yutaa: maybe.
y/n: well I do have ONE of you that I don’t have the heart to delete.
yutaa: oh really ?
You sent Yuta a picture you absolutely treasured of him in your bed fast asleep hugging one of your plushies. It was one of the last nights you had with him before things got sour. Normally you’d never allow him to nap in your bed after a hookup but he looked so at peace and so adorable  that you decided to bend the rules a little.
yutaa: that was a good ass nap. yutaa: simp.
y/n: maybe.
The rest of the day went on and honestly you felt as if you were on cloud nine, chatting to Yuta like he was your high school crush. Smiling every time he texted back and glancing up every now and then, waiting for him to look at you with that cheeky grin. But as reality set in and Yuta’s smile faded, you were still dating another man. Who now had his arms wrapped around your waist peppering kisses all over your neck and shoulder while Yuta looked on, not being able to do a thing about it.
————————————————————————
The team decided to head out for dinner the next day, and something in Jeno had switched. After Yuta had watched him cuddle you until the day was over, you barely even got the chance to talk to Yuta face to face since Jeno offered to take you home. He was being suspiciously clingy and you wondered if he suspected anything.
“You’re okay with sharing a pasta and plate of fries ?” Jeno smiled over at you, one hand rubbing your waist and the other holding up the wooden menu. You nodded and Jeno placed his order in with Johnny who was doing the rounds for everyone. Yuta sat across from you and you could feel his stare on you from time to time, and the moments it felt like he was staring, Jeno’s grip on your waist got tighter.
“Is...is something wrong ?” you leaned into Jeno as he took a sip of his water. Even though he was smiling, his jaw was clenched signaling that he was trying to suppress himself from doing or saying something. “I'm just really tired” he rubbed your back and to your surprise leaned in to capture your lips. It was innocent but your lack of effort to mind his feelings wasn't good enough for Yuta. Frankly he had no idea where you two stood at the moment, for all he knew you could be playing him right now. It probably wasn't the case though, but Yuta was not really used to his life getting a happy ending. The night drove on and the group split with you, Ten, Doyoung, Taeyong and Renjun seated at the table while the rest of the guys were hanging around the bar babysitting their drinks. Jeno was really a changed man since high school. He was so confident, well-built and a good socialite with the team. You watched him lean against the bar counter, drink in hand entertaining whatever story Lucas had for the night.
“So you and y/n huh ? Have you scored yet ?” Lucas raised his brow cheekily to which Jeno chuckled and shook his head, “Really Lucas ? were talking about my sex life now ?” Yuta was in conversation with Johnny and Sungchan but he couldn't help but overhear your name in the chat next to him.
“Yeah man, I'm sure she’s good too after locking down my boy Yuta” Lucas smirked and Yuta flinched when the boisterous man grabbed onto his shoulder and pulled him into the conversation. “Even though they hate each other I just know they had the best hook ups” Lucas laughed despite Johnny trying to make him shut up.
“Well that’s all over now” Jeno’s eyes narrowed on Yuta before looking up at Lucas, “she invited me over tonight and considering the type of pictures she sent me, i'm guessing it’s going to be one hell of a night.” Yuta’s chest felt tight not only at the possibility that you may have invited him over to finally sleep with him but mainly because of the way Jeno spoke about you. He probably only shared that information to appease Lucas but hinting at you sending him nudes was not something you would like the guys to know about.
“She’s really been trying to speed up the process between us too it's cute actually” Jeno continued as Yangyang and Lucas egged him on, “that night after that painting you guys did for Mark Lee she was practically begging me to fuck her after our movie date. God if my brother didn't give me all those errands I would've done so right on the kitchen counter.”
Yuta shot back the rest of his drink and stormed off as Lucas and Yangyang hyped up Jeno, pouring him another shot and laughing erratically in their drunken state. From where you were seated you saw Yuta storm off and watched Johnny run after him worriedly, making you slightly anxious.
“Yuta don't listen to them man '' Johnny huffed as he finally caught up to his friend a few blocks down from the restaurant. “I dont fucking care man I really dont” Yuta chuckled dryly and ran his fingers through his hair, “It doesnt matter because at the end of the day im still the worthless piece of shit and guys like him are God fucking sent.” Johnny watched Yuta’s expression change and he turned around to find you standing there, desperately looking between them for context.
“Yuta what happened ?” you asked in a small voice and the familiar sting in his chest returned, hearing you call out his name, following him out here while Jeno was still inside, it was all just confusing to him.
“I thought you giving us a week meant you felt the same way and I could finally relax knowing you were going to be with me y/n” Yuta groaned in frustration while Johnny took a step away from the heated exchange. You shook your head as you approached him, “yes I did, so what's the problem ?” Yuta scoffed and folded his arms. “What's the problem ? doesn't look like anything’s changed y/n. I have to see you act like the couple of the year after telling you how I felt about you ? That's brilliant.”
“I told you I would speak to him this week” you snapped, unbothered by the now random onlookers who were concerned at the scene taking place. “But fine honestly Yuta if you really want me to say it you have my permission to fuck some random girl until im finally free.” You rolled your eyes about to turn on your heels to leave when you felt a tug on your wrist and Yuta pulled you into a kiss. He held your face in his hands as he kissed you passionately, sighing as he slowly pulled away and pressed his forehead against yours,
“When I said I loved you I fucking meant it y/n, I only want you. But please, if youre going to invite him over or send him dirty...pictures atleast tell him not to tell the whole fucking world about it.”
You took a step back and frowned at his words, “What ? What pictures ?”
“The ones he told Lucas about, y/n honestly I don't care I was just mad that he was airing your business out like that” Yuta bit down on his lip and yet again you were deeply confused as to what he was on about.
“I...I didn't send him anything” you responded, “I didn't invite him over tonight and I definitely haven't sent him any...nudes.”
“Tell that to him then”
You turned around and noticed most of the team was now outside watching the commotion go down and right in front was Jeno, who by the look on his face had most likely seen the kiss you just shared with Yuta.
Jeno approached the both of you with an irritated groan and scoffed, “I was going to ignore the signs but God I was so right, you were still fucking him this entire time ?” You lowered your head and Yuta glared at Jeno, “If you knew all this time why didn't you just break up with her and move on ?”
Jeno rolled his eyes and took a step closer to Yuta to which Johnny quickly responded by placing a firm hand on Jeno’s shoulder making sure the boy was at safe distance from his best friend.
“I'm not like you Yuta” Jeno licked his lips, “unlike you I respect her, I understand that she was going back to you because you like to play around, you never cared about her until I showed up. You were threatened by the fact that you were no longer in control of her.”
“Nobody is in control of me first of all” you chimed in, “and second what’s this about me inviting you over and sending you nudes that apparently the whole fucking bar knows about”
“It's just banter y/n” Jeno shook his head.
“Banter ?” Yuta repeated, “didnt know talking about how you were going to fuck your girlfriend on the kitchen counter in front of her coworkers is banter.”
“What?” you walked up to Jeno, “W-where is this coming from Jeno ? you’re not like this.”
“Well how am I supposed to be y/n ?” Jeno raised his voice, “you wouldn't mind if he said that to you. You're always letting him get away with shit. Im the one sitting around here knowing my damn girlfriend is fucking around with someone else yet somehow still trying to forgive you and figure this out.”
“Why, though ?” you shrugged, “Is it because you want to prove to other people that you're the bigger person ?”
“Would you rather be with someone like him ? someone who will probably throw you aside after he’s bored, or someone like me who was always patient, always willing to put you first no matter what” Jeno reached for your hand, his eyes widening when you shrugged him off.
“Someone who I barely know that talks about me to my friends like im just some kind of whore or someone i've known for a while and not once shared anything intimate that happened between us,” you looked over at Yuta, “It was my one rule, the same rule I gave you Jeno and he was, Yuta is the only one who has abided to it.”
“y/n Im sorry,” Jeno lowered his voice, “we hurt each other and I want to fix that, just make your final decision...me or Yuta”
“Jeno….I apologize for using you, I'm sorry for leading and hurting your feelings” you began and Yuta slowly shook his head and turned around ready to hear the bad news that always seemed to follow him,
“But as crazy as it may sound to everyone here, I'm most like myself when I'm with Yuta, I love the person I am when I'm around him” Yuta turned at your words and instead of the sting he felt a sense of warmth. Hearing you say that in front of everyone who wanted the two of you apart, besides Johnny ofcourse, was absolute bliss.
“Who knows maybe it won't work and it will explode but I really want to try, that's the thing I'm most sure of, I really really want to try” you smiled as Yuta made his way over to you and pulled you into a tight hug.
“Let's get out of here” Yuta whispered before placing a kiss on your cheek and draping his arm over your shoulder as the two of you exited the street walking away from the mess and not even giving it a second glance.
The two of you ended up at your apartment full of smiles and giggles as you slowly discarded your clothes on the way to the bedroom. Once your back touched your soft duvet covers Yuta pressed his body against yours and peppered your skin with kisses all the way up to your ear. “I want to try something different” he whispered and you nodded in response while Yuta pulled his shirt over his head and discarded his jeans. Yuta pulled you on top of his body and returned to your lips, kissing you slowly and passionately. His touches were so delicate and nurturing that every time his fingers ran down your back you felt butterflies in your stomach. You unhooked your bra shimmied out of it, still attached to the addictive taste of Yuta’s lips. He slowly rolled you onto your back and left soft kisses all the way down your neck, down the valley of your breasts until he reached your abdomen. You watched as he pulled your underwear off, looking at your body like it was the most beautiful thing he had seen. That was it. Instead of lust he looked at you with love. He looked like he wanted to take care of you, be gentle with you, savour every moment he had with you. Your breathing hitched when you quickly realized that he inserted himself inside of you and used one arm to steady himself on the bed as he lent down to meet your lips. His strokes were slow but sharp, digging his nails into your thigh from time to time, preventing himself from losing control. Wanting to feel more of him you signaled that you wanted to switch positions and Yuta licked his lips as he watched you place your knees on either side of him and sit down on his member. “F-fuck” he cursed as you began to ride him, keeping to his wishes of keeping things calm and slow. Yuta wrapped his arms tightly around your waist as the two of you kissed in between your moans, twirling your tongue with his as your hips slammed into his.
“Y-Yuta…” you moaned, feeling a tear escape your eye as the long night and the building orgasm caught up with you.
“Yes baby ?” he hummed in your ear.
“I really fucking love you” you sighed, just the words finally leaving your mouth made you sob with joy. It felt so fucking good to finally say it out loud.
Yuta responded by flipping you onto your back and chased both his and your orgasm, fucking you with his usual intensity until you came and he followed straight after, filling the room with heavy pants and both of you trying to catch your breath.
“I love you too y/n” He finally said, bringing you to his chest and pressed his lips against your forehead.
The two of you lay in your bed both napping for a bit until the first sight of dawn began filling the bedroom. You winced at the sun and hid your face in Yuta’s arms as he grinned at your actions.
“I don't want to go to work!” you grumbled.
“Fuck go to work after all the drama you caused ?” Yuta pinched your cheek playfully, earning a nudge in his side from you.
“Anyway” Yuta continued, “I got an email from Taeyong and he said if we want we can work remotely, he gave us the Okinawa project.” You sat up in bed and turned to face him, “the Okinawa project ? Its 9 months in Japan, the same project the whole damn building was trying to get” you blinked, still unsure if Yuta was just fucking with you.
“That's the one” Yuta shrugged, “anyways he said he was going to send either of us anyway since he knows we always get the job done. Oh and he actually said something really funny actually”
“What ?” you raised your brow and watched Yuta reread the text message on his phone.
“He said Doyoung was the one who suggested the two of us be the ones to go, who would've thought ?” Yuta closed the messages and tucked himself back into bed.
“Yeah” you smiled, “Who would've thought.”
THE END
817 notes · View notes
companionjones · 3 years
Text
Against The Wall
Fandom: James McAvoy
Pairing: James McAvoy x Fem!Reader
Warnings: Smut, Cursing, Slight!Insecurity 
Author’s Note: This is my first smut. It’s taken me forever to write one, and this is the first successful of many tries. Hear me out, it’s technically based on the episode of SNL that McAvoy hosted. I don’t know why. I meant to write the smut part of this first, then the regular part where they meet and get to know each other and stuff, then post them in reverse order. But, the thing is, I don’t feel like writing the other part. So you’re just getting the smut. This takes place at the SNL afterparty that week, or at least it starts there. Enjoy. Also, if you’re my friend in real life reading this, I am very uncomfortable right now.
Tumblr media
*******
    “What do you say we get out of here?” James parted from you, breathless.
    Your whole face warmed up. “O-okay...”
    James smiled then, and leaned back in to kiss both your cheeks, then your lips once more.
    The two of you exited from the back. As soon as you were out of sight of others, James pinned you against the brick wall of the alley. He started kissing you again. You could feel him inhale against your skin.
    “James...” you breathed. You meant to sound less desperate than you did.
    “I love how you say my name.” He separated from you just enough to tell you. “So breathless and sweet and...fuck.”
    You couldn’t help but moan at that...but the two of you were in an alley. “James?”
    His hands had ventured down, and he had started squeezing your thighs. He parted from you, though. “I know, I know. We should take this to an actual bed.” He had walked a little away from you, and a smirk grew on his lips once he got the full view of you.
    Breathless, lips swollen and red, you were leaning against the wall for support.
    He continued, that smirk still present, “I couldn’t help myself though.”
    As your heart hammered in your chest, you looked him and down, too. His bulge was prevalent in his pants, and it was also obvious that James wasn’t taking his eyes off you any time soon. Your body seemed to have used permanent marker to keep that smirk on his lips for good.
    “We can keep going here, if you want,” you offered. “It wouldn’t be my first time, outside like this.”
    His breath got caught in his throat. His gaze wandered over you once more. “Don’t go saying things like that to me right now.”
    “I’m serious,” you held.
    James stepped back to you. He wasn’t touching you again, not yet. “I want this to continue, though. Outside of this. You and me. I want you to know that.”
    You should’ve guessed before then, but surprise still flashed in your eyes. Your gaze was fixed on his lips. Your own mouth twitched up at the same time. “Yeah?”
    “God, yes.”
    A full smile started to grow on your lips, but you interrupted it by kissing him again.
    James pulled away again though and bought himself just enough time to ask, “Are you su--”
    “Yes,” you answered before he could finish, and captured his lips again.
    In reply, James moaned lowly, and you were sure your legs would’ve given out had he not been pressing you against that wall again.
    James didn’t waste time after that. Swiftly, he reached under your skirt to discard your underwear before he came back to cup your face with both his hands. With his left hand, he tugged the hair at the back of your head for a moment before his hands slid downward. In their journey, they cupped your breasts as well before hooking to the back of your thighs. “Jump, darling,” he whispered just as he captured your lips again.
    You did as he said, he caught you, and James pinned you even further against the brick.
    “God, darling,” he moaned against you. “I’ve wanted to do this for a while,” James finished with a giddy smile. His lips barely had enough time to form those phrases when they weren’t against yours.
    You smiled, too. You teased, “I’ve waited longer,” and that earned you a deep chuckle.
    James moved his hips against your for what was definitely not the first time that night, and both of you moaned.
    James undid his belt and jeans, and suddenly something was even more obvious than it was before. He teased his dick against your folds, and a few more moans slipped from his throat.
    “Are you gonna fuck me, or wha--”
    His cock slid in, and the sounds the both of you made were louder than anything that had left your lips yet.
    “So tight, so fuckin’ tight,” James commented, almost desperate.
    “...Baby...I’m just gonna need a second. Fuck, you’re huge.” Your voice broke on the last word.
    James passed the time by nipping and sucking behind your earlobe, then where your neck met your shoulder, then he made his way to the symmetrical side of you.
    “Baby?” you called after a couple of minutes.
    “Yes, darling?” He leaned away from you so he could catch your eyes. A teasing smile was playing at your lips.
    You flashed your own smile in return. “Move.”
    “Of course.” He went to kiss you again, but a sigh left his lips before he could. James slowly moved his dick out of you, then slid it back in.
    “Fuck, James...” you breathed.
    “You’re perfect, darling.” He captured your lips again, and another needy moan sounded from his throat.
    After a few tentative thrusts, you broke the kiss again. “James? Baby, I need you to move faster.”
    James obeyed your words and started speeding up. Soon, his hips were snapping against yours at lightening speed.
    You whimpered at almost every thrust. How could you not? James’ moans were louder than yours, but his were farther between.
    He made up for it by whispering breathless, sweet nothings to you, including but not limited to... “You feel amazing, darling...So good...So fucking good...God fucking dammit, I don’t know how long I’m gonna last...This is perfect...You’re perfect, darling...”
    Eventually, James bit your neck and sucked with a force that was almost painful. “Fuck. Darling, I’m gonna cum soon.” Him biting at your neck was him trying to hold himself off.
    You bracingly kissed him, and informed, “I’m close too, baby.” You could feel the coil tightening in your stomach, and your cunt must’ve been getting tighter too because James was having trouble holding himself together.
    “Fuck, fuuuck.” His thrusts were getting sloppy, but he was trying his best not to slow down. James’ fingers started digging in under your thighs where he was holding you up.
    How much effort he was putting into not cumming before you turned you on even more. That, on top of the feelings of his cock sliding in and out of you and his arms holding you close did you in.
    Right before, you suddenly noticed that you had been so caught up in the act that you had your eyes shut most of the time. You wanted to look into James’ eyes as you came.
    Your hands had been resting on his shoulders and grabbing onto his shirt most of the night, but you brought your hands to the sides of his face to bring it in front of yours. “James,” you alerted him.
    He had his teeth gritted and his head was on your right shoulder because he was still holding himself off for you. When you brought him to look at you, his mouth fell open as soon as he met your eyes because as soon as he did that, you were cumming.
    “Jesus Christ,” he cursed, his eyes going out of focus as he snapped his hips against yours one last time. He shuddered, and finally spilled himself inside you. His cum came out in three bursts, then James let out a small, gratified moan and leaned his forehead against yours. His eyes slid shut again. “You were fucking spectacular, Y/n.”
    You chuckled at that, and kissed him again.
    After a few more moments, James pulled out of you. He let you down, and you put back on your underwear.
    After that though, James pressed you against that brick wall again. He kissed you once more. “I was serious about this continuing. I want to see you again. Preferably in a restaurant and not in an alleyway.”
    You laughed again, and kissed him again. You wouldn’t complain if that pattern stuck for the rest of time. After you parted from him again, and your gaze was on his lips, you licked your own. Your smile faded to a look of slight insecurity. You met his eyes again. “You sure?”
    He smiled in such a comforting way, it made your heart swell. “Darling,” he told you, “I haven’t been this sure about something in a while.”
    You couldn’t help but grin at that, and you couldn’t recall a time in which you were happier.
    James’ gaze trailed down to your lips again, and he pulled you in for another kiss. His hand that wasn’t holding yours was tangled in your hair, and his smile had not left when the two of you broke the kiss.
    “You wanna come back to my apartment?” you offered, “Maybe round 2 in an actual bed?”
    “Your place?” A different smile was playing at his lips then, as if him being in your apartment was a step forward in intimacy.
    You realized that it was. You didn’t back down. “Yeah. My place.”
    James brought your hand that he was holding to his lips. “Lead the way, darling.”
    That, you did.
*******
Author’s Note: Thank you for reading! I can’t believe I finally wrote my first smut! I hope you liked it. Fill up that heart and reblog if you did. If you have the time, I would also really appreciate a comment. If you would like to read more, I have more fics over on my page. You should check it out. Thanks again! Have a nice day, night, or whatever time it is for you! <3 <3 <3
589 notes · View notes
Text
More than just a game
Warnings: dark elements including noncon and rape, oral, fingering, doxxing, stalking, and other explicit content. 
This is dark!Jake Jensen and explicit. Your media consumption is your own responsibility. Warnings have been given. DO NOT PROCEED if these matters upset you.
Summary: You find a new gaming buddy but he sees you as more than that.
Note: So this is my first Jake Jensen fic and it was lots of fun so let me know what you think and hope you enjoy. :D
Thank you. Love you guys!
As always, if you can, please leave some feedback, like and reblog <3
Special shout-out to @navybrat817​ for helping me with this idea
Tumblr media
After too many nights scrolling through subreddits and searching for something to keep you distracted, you decided to bite the hook. Several other redditors agreed to hop on Minecraft and it had been a while since you logged in. You missed the almost relaxing ritual of mining and building.
You joined the chat, quick to hit the little microphone emblem as you listened to the voices in your headset. You learned long ago to keep your mic muted on the servers, especially with strangers. The last time you dared to speak up as a woman in a game chat, your DMs had become so overwhelmed you deleted and started a new account on Discord and changed your ID on Steam.
You were all given your tasks as players called out coordinates and you kept to chopping up the side of a mountain. You mostly worked alone, chatting through text instead of voice chat. As you placed a crafting table in your little mine, another player, JJ-Smooth, popped up and dropped some iron for you. 
He stayed close but you didn’t mind. A lot of players tried to work together the deeper they got and you were used to it. As you uncovered some lava, he dumped water before you could get burned and helped you hack up the obsidian. 
He thanked you on the voice chat but you knew any courtesy in return would earn you the attention of the entire server. So you dropped some gold for him and went on your way.
“I hear a zombie,” he warned.
You turned to hack up the undead before it could get you, only to be shot by a skeleton hidden on the next level. Another appeared and you died before you could hide, the bony villain killed by your ally as you watched your possession scatter over the death screen.
“Hey, I got your stuff,” he said as you loaded back up, “I’ll find you.”
You typed quickly in the chat, ‘sorry, mic busted, give me your coordinates and I’ll come to you.’
You waited as ‘JJ-Smooth is typing…’ appeared at the bottom and finally he sent the numbers. You hopped over the blocky hills and through the forests until you found the mine again. He was just outside and handed over all your tools and ration. He headed back into the mine and you followed him. This time, you began your own path in the opposite direction.
Before you knew it, you’d lost track of time. You sat back as you realised it was only you and JJ on the server. The silence should have tipped you off earlier. He was the host and you felt super awkward for staying so long. You typed that you were logging off for the night and thanked him. 
You hit the keyboard with your knuckle and yawned as you opened the screen, 
“God, it’s late,” you muttered.
“Hello?” he said.
Your eyes rounded as you looked at the mic symbol and the lack of red line made you cringe. You’d hit an extra button without noticing.
“Um, hi, sorry, I just--”
“Mic busted, huh?” he asked.
“No, I--” you didn’t know what to say, “anyways, I should--”
“So, you’re a chick? Is that why you mute?”
“Uh, well, it’s just… easier, sorry, I--” even if you weren’t trying to hide from gamer dudes, you weren’t the best at conversation.
“A gamer girl, nice,” he said and you sighed, “sorry, that sounded weird, didn’t it?”
“Mhmm,” you touched your bottom lip as you cupped your chin, “it’s late, I have to work tomorrow.”
“You comin’ back?” he asked, almost hopeful.
“I don’t know--”
“I won’t tell anyone,” he said abruptly, “promise, lips sealed.”
“I really don’t know if I can do this too much, I usually work early mornings so… yeah,” you said.
“I get it but you know you’re always welcome, hope you don’t mind if I send you an invite now and then. No pressure,” he offered.
“Uh, sure,” you shrugged, “okay, yeah, good night.”
You left the chat quickly and pulled off your headset. Shit.
‘I’m Jake by the way,’ a pm popped up, ‘gg.’
You typed back, ‘gg, it was fun’ and quickly logged out. You sat back and rubbed your eyes. Well, he didn’t seem like a total creep, maybe just a bit awkward but so were you. You shut down for the night and stretched out as you switched off the lamp. You were going to pay for your session in the morning.
🎮
A few nights later you got an invite to the server. You debated it but as it was Friday, you decided to make good use of the PC you’d saved up forever to build. You spawned in the middle of nowhere and built a bed before you found the half-finished settlement. You joined the chat but you must have been early as you were the only one there.
You headed back to the same mine, some work done since the first night, and laid your torches as you ventured into the depths. You jumped in your seat as a voice broke your peace.
“I don’t think anyone else is gonna join,” JJ-Smooth, or Jensen said, “you think maybe you’ll unmute?”
You stopped your mining and stared at the screen. You hovered over the mic button and re-read his name, he was the only other one there. You clicked and gave a strained smile to the screen.
“So, um, what’s the goal tonight?” you asked.
“Get some materials and go back to the settlement, keep building, oh, maybe we could try a portal, you ever gone to the nether?” he said but before you could reply he kept on, “shit, I shouldn’t assume, you seem like an experienced player.”
“Yeah, a few times, but I’m more a casual miner,” you went back to harvesting stone and ore.
“Ah,” he said, and it was silent for a moment, “so, you work again in the morning?”
“Not tomorrow,” you said as you focused on the game, “daycare isn’t open on the weekends.”
“A daycare, huh? That sounds fun, I love kids… not in a weird way but you know, I… urgh, I have a niece,” he said with a nervous chuckle, “nah, that’s cool though, sounds more fun than my gig.”
“Oh?” you turned and kept your axe moving.
“IT. You know, some people would be like ‘hey Jensen, why do you spend all your free time staring at a screen when that’s what you do at work?’” he scoffed, “well, who says I’m not mining there too.”
You wrinkled your forehead and gave a small laugh. He was rambling and it was kinda odd. You were happy for once not to be the strange one.
“But anyway,” he said, “I found lots of diamond over here. If we get some lapis lazuli we can build an enchanting table and get some sick armour.”
“Awesome,” you pressed your fingertips to your lip as you leaned on your elbow, “should try to head back before dark…”
“Hard to tell down here. How about you mine and I’ll keep an eye out for monsters?” he offered.
“Sure,” you agreed as he came onto your screen, “that works.”
🎮
Another week went by and you ventured back into the server a few times but not for very long as late nights did not mix with young children. The next weekend, you joined again on Saturday night and like the last few times it was just you and Jensen. You wondered why no one else was joining when the subreddit was so popular but you didn’t worry about it for long.
You mostly played in silence, Jensen did most of the talking and it was never about anything more than the game or his niece’s last soccer game. That night when you left the game, he kept typing on Discord.
‘I like playing with you,’ his message blipped up.
‘Same, thx.’
‘Really, you’re awesome.’
‘Thx :) Tired, gotta sleep.’
‘Sweet dreams.’
‘Night.’
You changed your status to offline and dragged yourself to bed. You opened your phone as you laid in the dark and went to the subreddit, you scrolled through the builds and screenshots of other people’s catastrophes. 
You came to Jensen’s last invite post from that night but all the comments complained that the world code was incorrect. Hmm, you should tell him next time.
You blackened your cell and plopped it on your night table. You rolled over and buried your face in the pillow, the light still etched into your vision. You fell asleep quickly and woke the next day to another invite from Jensen.
‘How about some Fortnite? If you’re into it?’
‘Srry, can’t, my mom’s expecting me for lunch.’
‘2 bad, maybe later.’
‘Maybe’.
You got ready to go see your mother for your usual Sunday afternoon visit and it went by like any other. When she asked you what you’d been up to, you didn’t mention the gaming, she was never a fan of it. When you got back home, Jensen was messaging you again. You didn’t open the notification and settled in to catch up on some streaming before another week of work.
Monday hit you like a train and you were glad you hadn’t spent the night mining again. If you had, you doubted you’d even be able to open your eyes. You got to the daycare centre and welcomed in the kids. You got them set up for the morning snack then cleaned up as Sandy took them over to the reading circle.
You wiped the tables and then did some painting before you went out for some play time in the yard. As you watched several of the children on the swings, you glanced around. There was a man across the street. You squinted through the chain link as he seemed to be watching but assured yourself it was nothing as he quickly headed for the corner and disappeared.
Inside, the kids were due for quiet time, some napped and those who didn’t, stared at the ceiling and yawned. You could have joined them but knew that wouldn’t be acceptable. The end of the day came and you helped the kids pack up their paintings and their sweaters. You waited in the yard with them as the parents showed up and handed them off one by one.
You waved to Danika as she clung to her mother and your eye was once more drawn beyond the chain link. The same faded grey jacket, the same glasses, and the hat with the frayed brim. It was a better look at the man. Was he looking at you? Why on earth was he hanging around outside a daycare?
“Sandy,” you turned and lowered your voice as she neared, “see that man?”
She peeked over and shrugged, “which one? The guy crossing the street?”
You looked up again and like before, he was walking away casually as if he hadn’t just been staring through the fence. You shook your head and huffed. “Sorry, never mind.”
“Ah, don’t worry about it,” she waved her fingers, “come on, let’s clean up.”
With the kids all sorted out, you went back in and tidied up the last of their mess. You and Sandy were friendly but like with any, you weren’t very talkative. You never really knew what to say but you were never unkind.
You pulled on your jacket and checked your purse for your phone and wallet. You checked the time and turned off the lights. You bid Sandy goodbye as she headed for her SUV and you took your usual route down the sidewalk towards your bus stop. 
You stopped short as the man was there. You were paranoid, he must just be waiting for the same route. You approached and he turned to watch you as you sat on the bench. He smiled and the dread sank deep in your chest. 
His rectangular glasses gave light to his blue eyes and a goatee trimmed his jaw. He was tall and well-built, you could tell even under his comic book tee. He was going to talk to you, another weirdo in the city.
“Hey,” his voice was chillingly familiar, “how was your day?”
You stared at him and blinked cluelessly. You looked around, it was only the two of you. You opened your mouth but you had to be wrong. He said your name and you winced.
“Jensen?” you breathed as you stood and squeezed the strap of your bag, “why? How--?”
“You weren’t answering me, I was worried,” he said, “just making sure you’re okay.”
“What the-- I don’t understand how--” He stepped closer and you backed up against the bench. “Don’t, I’ll scream.”
“Scream? Why? I’m just-- You know me, it’s me, Jensen.”
“You doxxed me?” you snapped, “what the hell?”
“No, I didn’t-- I’m just checking on you--”
“I don’t know you,” you said as your heart began to race, “so please, leave me alone,” you edged away from him, “and don’t message me again.”
You sprinted across the street and as you came up on the curb, you looked back at him. He watched you but didn’t follow. You could tell from there he wasn’t happy but the brim of his cap shadowed most of his face so you couldn’t guess if it was hurt or anger. You quickly spun away and continued down the next street to the nearest stop.
You couldn’t believe he’d just shown up like that. You couldn’t believe he would think that was okay. You couldn’t believe he’d think that much about you.
🎮
You blocked Jensen on Discord and left his world on Minecraft. That night you were shaky and nervous, afraid that he would show up at your apartment. Did he know where you lived? He must if he could figure out where you worked.
You didn’t open Steam that night. You paced your small apartment, jumping at every noise. Sleep didn’t come easily but in shallow spurts that left you even more tired. You watched over your shoulder as you walked to your stop and boarded with one eye on the door.
Work was little better as you found yourself distracted in the room full of toddlers. Sandy asked if you were okay as you kneaded play-do violently. You shook yourself out of your paranoia and assured her you were only short on sleep, not a complete lie.
You took out your phone when you stepped out for a small break. Your mom had called but you would have to get back to her when you had two hours to waste. There was another notification, that one from Discord, a friend request from JJ-NoRematch. It wasn’t hard to guess who it was and you declined it right away.
There were several others from Jensen, too. He followed your Insta, blocked; he followed your mostly empty twitter, blocked; and he even commented on your LinkedIn like a weird. You closed your phone and took a breath before you headed back into the kids, their voices rising in their excitement to go outside.
In the yard, you had another look around, expecting to see him there on the other side of the fence. You were slightly relieved when he wasn’t but still on edge. You joined a game of tag then watched several of the kids line up for the slide. You lost yourself in your job as you told yourself he must have gotten the hint, at least not to bother you irl.
Just like the day before, and every day, you left work and headed for your stop. He wasn’t there either and you sat down and phoned your mom, hanging up as the bus pulled up with a promise to call her again when you were home. At home, you felt almost normal again and checked your notifications; no more follows, no more requests, nothing.
Wednesday, Thursday, and Friday passed in a similar fashion. Each saw your anxieties less than the day before. You even resolved to open Steam and start a new world for yourself. You spent hours mining and almost fell asleep in your chair. When you nearly tipped over, you decided it was time for bed.
You slept better than you had all week and woke up before noon. You wanted to log right back on but you had life to deal with; groceries, cleaning, and of course, making that call to your mother you’d delayed the night before. After all that, you felt accomplished and you decided to treat yourself to take out, a rare divulgence.
You called the local Chinese eatery and waited eagerly for your feast as you turned on a new episode of your current binge. You played on your phone until the battery was low and had enough juice to buzz up the delivery man. You dug for your wallet as you went to the door and unlocked it without looking up.
“How much--” you asked as you opened the door.
Your eyes met a familiar pair, two blue gems behind a pair of narrow glasses. Jensen wore the same cap and held the paper bag of take-out with a smile. You grabbed the door and tried to swing it shut but he was too quick as he slapped a large hand against the peeling paint.
“It’s on me,” he said, “I love spare ribs.”
“What the--” you gasped as you pushed on the door helplessly, “please go away.”
“You’re not answering me,” he said as he stepped closer and forced you back as his body brushed against yours, “you blocked me and I can’t even get a hey, Jensen, how are you?”
“I don’t want you here,” you tried to shove him and he shouldered you away easily, “get out!”
He slammed the door and you flinched. He put the bag down on the corner table and reached back to twist the lock without a look. His eyes roved around your entryway and further into your apartment. He smiled as they stilled and focused on you.
“This place is cute… like you,” he said and you heard a slight hesitation in his voice.
You swallowed and backed away from him. You spun on your heel and ran for your couch. You reached over the back to your phone and unlocked it as the battery icon flashed. You had just enough juice to make the call. You dialed as you turned back to him.
“I’m calling the police so you b-better l-leave,” you warned as your voice and hands shook, “I me--”
He was quick and before you could pull away, he swiped your cell out of your hand. He scoffed and tossed it across the room. It hit the wall and landed screen down on the hardwood. You bit down and pressed yourself to the couch. You stared at him and kicked yourself forward as you tried to slip past him. He caught you and wrestled you back into the front room.
“Why are you doing this?” he asked calmly as you struggled in his grasp, “I’ve been nothing but nice to you.”
“N-no, you’re-- you-- let me go,” you stammered as he angled you around the couch. He pushed you down so you bounced on the cushion. You tried to push yourself up and he pointed his finger in your face and wagged it. 
“No, you stay,” he growled and wiped his other hand on his jeans. He was nervous, even if he was angry.
“Please, why-- what do you want?” you grasped the cushion and hovered at the edge of the couch.
He sighed and sat in the chair. He took his hat off and set it on the table as he ran his fingers through his short hair. 
“Good question,” he said as his jaw squared and his eyes turned to pinpoints, “better one, why did you block me?”
“Are you serious? You-- you--” you struggled to get your words out, your voice even more splintered by your fear, “you doxxed me, you came to-- to my work-- and…”
“I thought we were getting along. I thought you liked me,” he said with a frown, “I really did, you sure acted like it and-- I only wanted to make sure you were safe.”
“But why wouldn’t I be? I--” you shivered and crossed your arms as you withered beneath his gaze, “Jensen, this was only supposed to be online.”
He scoffed and stomped his boot on the floor. He shook his head as he looked to the ceiling and his anger bulged along his temple. He tilted his head and looked at you again.
“You know, for years, I have been a nice guy, I am a nice guy,” he pushed his shoulders to his ears as he threw his hand out, “I’m so patient and caring and you girls, you don’t even give me a second look.”
“Jensen--”
“No, really, I mean look at you, you’re no supermodel and yet it’s the same thing, ‘let’s just be friends’,” he spat, “but I watch guys all the time treat women like shit and they don’t have any trouble at all, they got them hanging off of them and I’m a creep for giving them a compliment or opening the door--”
“I don’t… know you,” you eked out, “you have to understand--”
“I don’t understand,” he stood abruptly, “I’m done trying to understand.”
He pulled his jacket open and slid it down his arms. You watched him sling it over the chair and as he turned back to you, you stood. He caught your shoulders and held you in place. His strength was plain in his grip as he squeezed then slowly moved his hands to cradle your face.
“I just wanna be nice,” he said as he leaned in. You tried to pull away but he moved a hand around the back of your head and forced your lips against his. He poked his tongue inside your mouth roughly as you tried to shove him away. Finally, he parted, his hands still firmly around your head, “wasn’t that nice?”
“Please,” you begged as he ran his thumb over your bottom lip.
His eyes searched your face as you stared back at him in terror. He sighed and dropped his hands back to your shoulders. He pushed you down to the sofa harshly and backed away.
“Fine, I won’t be nice,” he snarled as he took his glasses off and folded them carefully. He put them on the table beside his cap and twined his fingers together, loudly cracking his knuckles.
You blinked at him as your eyes grew glossy. You brought your legs up under you and pressed yourself to the back of the couch. You grasped the upholstery and turned as you launched yourself over to the other side. You stumbled as you landed on your feet and ran for the door.
You were yanked back as he snaked his arms around you and took you off your feet. You kicked out and screamed but it was cut off by his palm as he kept one arm around your middle. You scratched at his hand as he dragged you back to the couch. He pushed you face down onto the cushions and planted his knee in the middle of your back, slipping his hand away as he put enough weight on you to keep your voice suffocated.
“Listen, I know I look like some IT nerd but I’m a lot more than that, now don’t make me hurt you,” he played with your hair as he smiled down at you, “you try that again and I will shut you up and if someone hears you, I can take care of them too.”
You sniffed as tears pricked in your eyes and nodded frantically as it felt as if he would snap your spine. He pushed off of you and you stayed as you were, paralysed with fear. He sat and unlaced his boots one at a time. He looked up as he set them neatly beside the foot of the chair and he bent to catch your eye.
“Well?” he pointed at you and traced the line of your body in the air, “let’s go.”
You stared at him dumbly and he stood to pull his tee over his head. His torso was sculpted perfectly and his chest trimmed with hair that trailed all the way down to his pants. He stepped forward and tugged at the back of your shirt.
“You want me to do it for you, baby?” he purred, “I can help you.”
You swatted him away and sat up. You bent your legs to your chest and hugged them. “Please, I’m scared, just leave me alone--”
His hand rested on his belt and exhaled again. His fingers moved swiftly to unloop the striped belt and unbutton his jeans. He pushed them down, nearly tripping as he stepped out of them. He stood in his boxers, tented with his impatient excitement, and gripped his hips.
“It’s okay, baby, I know you’re shy, I am too,” he neared and you winced as he grabbed your wrist. He tugged on your arm and you resisted until he bent your hand back painfully and you cried out. He tickled your jaw as he looked you in the eye and tutted, “it doesn’t have to be like this, alright?”
You went limp and let him pull your arms apart. Your legs slipped down and your feet dangled above the floor. He got to his knees and pushed between yours. He slowly rolled up the hem of your shirt and bent to kiss your stomach as he bared the flesh. You trembled as he forced your arms up and swooped the fabric over your head. It fluttered through the air and to the floor as he cupped your tits through your bright pink bra.
“Is this so bad?” he asked as he nuzzled your chest and pushed your tits up. 
He glided the straps down your arm and slid your bra lower so that you popped out. He nibbled at your flesh and traced your nipples with his tongue. You sat rigid and let him explore your body, too terrified to move a muscle. He reached around you and struggled with the hooks, frustrated he snapped the clasps and the band came free.
He continued to play with your chest, his fingers crawling up and down your stomach and sides. There was a genuine curiosity to his touch and it sent a chill through you. His fingertips pressed to the top of your pants and he pulled at them as his lips travelled down to your hip.
He tugged on your pants and jerked your entire body. He tore them lower as he pushed you up and you lifted yourself to let him peel away the layer. He added them to the floor and toyed with the elastic of your panties. The little bow in the front drew his attention as he pushed your legs wider and ran his nose along the cotton.
He hummed and rubbed his fingers down your crotch, pushing the fabric to your folds as he teased you through them. You inhaled sharply at the tingle it inspired and he pressed firmer against you, flicking his fingers along your bud as he noticed how it made you squirm.
He gently pulled aside the cotton and you felt his hot breath against you. You pushed on his head before he could delve into you. “Please, don’t--”
“Shhhh,” he threw your hand away from his head and bent over you, “just relax.”
He dragged his tongue along your cunt and lingered around your clit. You clenched as it sent a thrill through you and he moved his lips against you, suckling at you bud as your breaths grew raspy. You pushed yourself against the back of the couch and dug your nails into the cushion.
He slid a finger along your cunt and circled your entrance. He rubbed up and down as he kept his tongue swirling over your clit and you swallowed back as gasp as he poked inside. He felt around and added another finger, stretching you as he carefully pushed them in and out of you in time with his mouth.
He lapped you up and you closed your eyes, desperate to resist the coil winding within you. Your legs tensed against the couch and you tilted your pelvis without thinking. He sped up, the noise of his mouth and your slickness filled the silence. You let out a puff and moaned as you slapped the couch. The waves rolled over your flesh and you came into his mouth with a pathetic mewl.
He stilled his fingers as he lazily teased you with his tongue. He pulled his fingers out and sat back, the heat between your legs cooling in his absence as he licked up your juices. He watched you as he sucked his fingers and stood. Your head lolled and you edged forward on the couch. You tried to stand but he caught you and flung you back.
“We’re not done, baby,” he winked at you as he grasped the top of his boxers, “go on, lay down.”
You murmured your refusal and once more tried to get up. You slipped onto the floor and shakily crawled away as he dropped his boxers to his ankle. He grabbed you before you could get around the side and lifted you easily. He turned you and shoved you down onto your back as he lifted a leg over you.
He straddled you and again his hands roved over your body. You smacked at his fingers weakly but he easily ignored you. He kept one hand moving along your curves as he stroked himself with the other. He groaned and shook as he stroked his dick. Your eyes followed his hand and you gulped, he was thick.
He moved his knees back and pushed them up beneath your thighs as he kept a hand planted on your chest. He ripped your panties down your legs and untangled them from your feet. 
He held you down as he ran his tip along your cunt, wetting himself with your coerced arousal. You groaned and grabbed the arm of the couch above you. You tried to pull away from him.
He pushed against your entrance and you looked at him in shock. You couldn’t stop him. His eyes were set between your legs as he inhaled and slowly eased into you. He gasped as he got his tip inside you and his muscles tensed. He bit his lip as he dove further in and you gasped as he filled you inch by inch.
“Shitttt,” he moaned as he reached his limit and you whined at how full you were, “oh, baby.”
His hand slid from your chest and he gripped your hips as he pulled back and thrust. You exclaimed and he did it again, slowly as he watched himself impale you over and over. You curled your fingers against the couch arm and your feet arch as you pressed your thighs around him. He lifted your pelvis high as he angled his dick even deeper.
“You feel so good,” he rasped, “oh, baby, you’re so good. Ahh-hh-hh,” his voice fizzled as your walls clenched him and you closed your eyes as you felt the heat building. 
He moved his hand along your thigh and stretched it over your pelvis, pushing his thumb to your clit as he kept his pace. He purred as you writhed helplessly against him and you panted through the rising ecstasy.
“Please, please, please…” you chanted, unsure if you were begging him to stop or for more.
He moaned as he sped up and you sucked your lip under your teeth as you neared your peak. You quivered as your orgasm crashed into you and you let out a strangled cry. He snarled and planted his hands beside your head as he leaned over you, his hot breath tickled your face as he pounded into you.
Your legs bent around him as his pelvis rubbed against you and the friction drove you to another climax. You held onto the arm of the couch as he fucked your harder and harder. He kissed you and nibbled at your lip as he groaned and hooked an arm under to hold you close.
“You’re gonna make me cum, baby,” he said against your cheek and you turned your head away from, “ah, here I--”
He spasmed and slammed into you. He took several long thrusts and stilled. He grunted and drew heavy breaths as he rested his weight over you. He grabbed your head and turned your head up as he pressed his forehead to yours. You kept your eyes closed as the flames slowly dwindled.
“Was that so bad?” he stroked your cheek and trailed his finger down to poke between your lips, “No, it’s what you wanted, isn’t it, baby?” he wiggled his hips and you hissed, “yeah, you want me.”
806 notes · View notes
Note
Hi, Ary, very inactive ex-mutual(i think???) here. Good to see you thriving! ♥ It's been a while since I've dipped my head into cockles stuff. Could I perchance maybe ask uuuuum tf is going on??? lol I see Mish apparently confirmed he used to stay over at Jensen's in Van, and heard newbs were apparently freaking out about it and getting a bit messy, which I get that, business as usual. But I'm also seeing shit about spin-offs? And Jared getting in a twitter fight with Jensen, causing/resulting in stans to going feral and sending hate?? I know you're not as big a fan of Jar, but that's part of why I figured I'd ask you, you usually have a really level head about this kinda stuff. If you don't wanna answer publically, or at all, that's totally chill!
Hey, Rhi! We're still mutuals! Of course we're still mutuals! When I saw the notification of your ask, I was like "Hey! I haven't seen you in a while!" and my husband was like "???" and I said "Tumblr" and he said "Oh."
It was a wild time haha.
In any case, welcome back to the dumpster fire! We are obviously still a mess. So to catch you up, I guess I will start by summarizing both before and after the finale (not sure where you left off so this might be redundant for you) ... basically, it became obvious as the end of the show neared that Jensen was not on board with the plan for the finale; although Jared never stopped singing its praises.
We got confirmation of this during a zoom interview where Jensen said that he actually went into the writers room as well as called Kripke to basically voice how he didn't agree with the direction the final season was going, but he was shot down on all fronts. In another interview, he was asked "What would you tell your younger self going into this career?" And Jensen responded with: "I would tell myself to just keep your head down and do the work" meaning, "Don't try to change things because you can't." I also think that this whole situation is what he wrote "Let Me Be" about for his first Radio Company album, but that is just my own speculation. All of his reluctance, even though he always followed it up with "But I eventually saw the value in the script" or "I came around in the end" (which never sounded sincere, and I don't think he was really trying to sound sincere) made us all very nervous about what was to come for 15x20; and of course, when the last two episodes aired, we saw just how badly they fucked it up.
After the awful finale, the entire fandom became aware of the CW's heavy handed role in the thing, basically squeezing all the life out of SPN to shape it into a ramp from which Walker could launch itself. They not only erased all the love and joy and representation that Cas's love confession gave us, they also tore apart the things that made sense about the bond between Sam and Dean, making it really just about Sam-- and therefore Jared, which of course, Jared seemed to be fine with ... even though no one else was. Misha barely said anything during the finale, and a few of the other actors talked about the show ending in various posts, but Jared tweeted up a storm ... and Jensen? Jensen just sat in sexy-silent resentment of the whole thing. He didn't tweet, he didn't post, he didn't say a word once he no longer had to, and I think that's because he was already going full-steam-ahead on his plans for redemption.
Which brings us to Chaos Machine-- Jensen and Danneel's new production company that is being run by a queer creative director and has a mantra of inclusivity and representation woven throughout it's fabric; and apparently, the first story that Jensen wanted to tell through this new platform is the origin story of Sam and Dean's parents; so last week (?) he announced the upcoming production of "The Winchesters" -- the untold love story of John and Mary. Obviously, John is not the most likable character from the show, so the idea was met with a lot of resentment when it was first announced, but Jensen has gone on to say that he is excited to take on the task of telling the "true" story behind these characters-- the one that makes sense with the pre-established canon and doesn't reject it. So, given that, the idea is being mulled over with a bit more optimism from the fandom.
Who isn't being optimistic though?
Jared Padalecki.
When Jensen made this announcement on Twitter, many of his friends and coworkers congratulated him, but not Jared. Jared responded with a passive aggressive: "I'm happy for you, man, but I wish I didn't hear about it through Twitter." This of course, sent all the die-hard Jared fans into a tizzy and they immediately began asking him if he was serious (hoping it was just a joke-- we all hoped it was because there would be fallout no matter what one's opinion on Jared is). Instead of leaving it there though or just deleting that tweet, Jared went on to tweet some more, saying that he was being serious that he didn't know about the plans for the prequel, and that he was "gutted" that Sam apparenlty wouldn't be included (mind you, this a prequel to SPN... meaning BEFORE Sam and Dean were even born, so how could Sam be included? But Dean is apparently narrating this story so maybe Jared thought Sam should be helping to narrate it? I don't know). But Jared being Jared couldn't just leave that there, he then went on to tweet at Robbie Thompson who was announced as a writer for "The Winchesters" so then Jared went off on him too, calling him "Brutus" and a "coward" acting like Robbie betrayed him (speculation is-- Robbie refused to write for Walker, so Jared is pissed that he essentially chose Jensen over him). He did fairly quickly, remove that tweet attacking Robbie, but of course the damage was done at that point. And it truly only took his first tweet calling out Jensen for some people to be like "Jared-- that sucks if you didn't know but why are you saying any of this publicly?"
As you might know, Jared has had issues in the past with posting hurtful things on social media, and has even used it as a tool for attack before-- calling out customer service agents and public workers that he felt have wronged him, which is bad enough ... but for him to then do the same thing to his best friend of well over a decade? Many people who had once liked him or at least gave him the benefit of the doubt (I used to ...) stopped after this latest twitter tantrum.
However, some people have suspected for some time that J2 had a falling out either shortly before the finale or just after. Their public/social media interactions have seemed awkward, stilted or even non-existent in moments that they normally wouldn't be. In the past year, when Walker premiered, Jensen didn't say much about his friend's new venture other than a "Congrats. buddy" here and there. Later, we learned that Jensen refused to work on the show ... Jared said he make him do it, drag Jensen to the set "kicking and screaming" which made many fans quirk up an eyebrow because, why would Jensen put up a fight unless the two weren't as close as they used to be? And then Jensen moved his family to Colorado (either permanently or for an extended period at least) which is notable considering how he moved to Texas seemingly to be closer to Jared, even buying a house that was near his. All this was just speculation though; but it wasn't until Jared's tweet complaining about not knowing about the prequel that the theories behind them falling out, became less theory and more fact.
The day after his twitter tantrum, Jared tweeted again-- not retracting his statements or apologizing, but instead saying that he and Jensen "talked" and were "all good". Jensen then tweeted too, parroting this statement to some degree, which only made the whole thing even more sour in the mouths of the fans. The fact that Jared didn't apologize for his outburst and throwing his friend under the bus, and also the fact that Jensen-- Mr. Sexy Silence, Mr. Never Tweets, Mr. Tech-Ignorant-and-Proud, actually had to POST SOMETHING saying that he and Jared made up, it just screamed OPTICS. It was obviously the work of agents and PR firms and lots of people going "Look, if you two keep beefing, that will mean the death of both of your projects. Even more people will stop watching Walker, and this SPN prequel will never get picked up due to the scandal." So, the two "made nice" publicly to quell the chaos, but in my opinion, it's all too little too late. Jared started a storm that he can't contain now with a little tweet, and it seems like he knows that too because before he talked about him and Jensen making up, he asked that people "not send threats". He could have just as easily said that he shouldn't have made this a public issue and that he's sorry, but instead, he continued to play the victim and stoke the flames by alerting us all to the damage he's done.
Now, like I said before-- I used to give him the benefit of the doubt. I don't think he's an awful human or that he deserves to be attacked or anything, but he is an adult man with very poor judgment and an obvious selfish-streak a mile wide. He should know better, and he should have more respect for his so-called "friends" and "brothers" than to make them targets to public ridicule. I have a hard time believing that Jensen still sees Jared the way he used to, and I wouldn't blame him a bit for wanting to pull away-- especially when he's moving on to so many new and exciting things. Jared certainly deserves happiness just as much as anyone else, but he went on twitter and basically asked for a scandal, and he got one.
The question is now-- was there a motive behind it? Was just looking for a reason to bring his and Jensen's falling out to light-- while making himself looking like the victim in the process? Or did he genuinely not know about the prequel and just decided to go about "not knowing" in the most toxic and hurtful way he could manage?
In any case, that is the drama ... that is the J2 insanity in a rather lengthy nutshell ... that is the tea ... and I hope it all makes sense.
But the good news out of all of this is, Cockles is thriving-- they are happy and in love and Jensen calls Misha "Babe" and Misha misses waking up to see Jensen in the morning, and they are just as cute and wonderful as can be.
So, I will end that there. I am so glad to see you back, and I hope I answered all your questions in a way that made sense ... I tried anyway!
Tumblr media Tumblr media
💖💖💖
170 notes · View notes
thetriggeredhappy · 3 years
Note
recently rediscovered your blog and read the fic from your dad spy au where scout starts out as the "guard" and then becomes scout from there and lemme tell you that shit put me on some s-tier brainrot. like a cranial decay type beat.
i had a concept in my head that instead of being hired as a guard, he could have been hired as a right hand man to the administrator like pauling, because i think hed be awesome in that position. like imagine having a personal merc who can get in fast and out even faster. but maybe he would stay in the base like the rest of them, sort of like a secret on call intel gatherer, who also maybe sometimes has to dig a couple graves. and also like, nobody on the team expects anything from him at first because its this 20 year old newbie kid. hes dressed in his formal clothes and he talks like somebody from relatively around boston but not quite. i can just imagine one day he comes back during a team dinner with his shirt half untucked and stained with blood, hair disheveled as he asks soldier if he can borrow his shovel, or him debriefing them for a mission when miss pauling is busy. same vibe as the fic i mentioned before but scout gets to have a job as cool as miss paulings. honestly id write it myself if i didnt have the attention span of a fly
anyways your scout content gives me life thank you
scout teamfortress but 20% more competent standing next to miss pauling teamfortress while she's doing her job and doing like silly quips and otherwise contributing nothing like it's a buddy cop film is literally my fucking ideal
(warnings for some canon-typical violence)
-
“Oh, Pauling, it’s good to see you again,” greeted the chairman, smiling in an imitation of a grandfather and clasping her hands perhaps too-kindly considering she barely knew him. “Young as ever, and still so stylish, I see. And who’s the new fellow?”
“He’s just here to help with transport, Mr. Montgomery, nothing unusual,” Miss Pauling replied, returning his smile and adjusting her glasses. “Heavy cases, you know how it is.”
“Of course, I remember you almost toppling clean over last time we made a trade!” Montgomery agreed, frowning at the memory. “You’ll pull a muscle that way, better to be careful. It’s a pleasure to meet you, young man. And your name?”
“Mr. Normandy, sir,��� the new kid replied easily enough despite his slight East Coast accent, giving the man a firm handshake, expression neutral and stony, the picture of professionalism. Internally, Pauling breathed a sigh of relief.
“Firm grip there, young man,” Montgomery praised, nodding approvingly. “Tennis player, perhaps? Or golf?”
“Baseball, sir,” he replied, still evenly. “First baseman.”
“Ah! Of course! Were you any good?” Montgomery joked.
“At everything but playing in front of the crowds, otherwise I’d be in the major leagues,” he replied, tilting his head just slightly to imply that he was joking, his sunglasses glinting at the movement, and Montgomery barked a laugh.
“I like this one, Miss Pauling!” Montgomery said, and Pauling just barely caught herself from physically relaxing at it.
“We do too, Mr. Montgomery,” she agreed. “I was under the impression that you’re very busy today, so we won’t keep you for too long, we just wanted to sort out the final details surrounding the manufacturing rights for the—“
“—Pacific Northwest branch, up into British Columbia and Alberta, of course,” Montgomery agreed, nodding faintly. “Of course, of course.” He turned to regard his own man in a dark suit, the one standing to the right, who appeared to be unsuccessfully trying to stare down Normandy, who was completely ignoring him. “My briefcase, please.”
The man handed over the briefcase, and Montgomery put it on his desk, opening it and pulling out a sheaf of papers. “All our requests are submitted and approved, at this point we just had a few dustbins to take care of regarding initial percentages and making sure everything is wired to the correct accounts, which names are undisclosed, things like that,” Pauling explained as he glanced through the papers.
“Right, right, everything looks good here,” the man murmured, nodding to himself, sending his long-white hair just ever-so-slightly out of place. “I’m assuming these more sensitive documents should be sent some way besides through the mail?”
“If you finish them today I can take them with me, otherwise either me or Mr. Normandy can return to pick them up at your convenience,” she replied, to which Normandy gave a singular nod.
“Oh, it would only take me a short while,” Montgomery said, waving a hand. “We have a lovely lounge just down the hall from here if you’d prefer to wait there, it should only take me ten, fifteen minutes at most. In the meantime, I do believe there’s also the manner of payment for services rendered.”
Miss Pauling tilted her head just slightly to one side, confused.
“I arranged with Helen already,” Montgomery explained, not looking up from where he was initialing a few things. “The payment, rather than being wired, she asked to be made in material investment. A venture of mine from years ago that she’s willing to sit on. Rather than gold or bonds, she agreed to take some old currency of mine that my family collected, from early 18th century New Zealand and Australia. Monetarily it’s worth around the same, and I’m quite a bit attached to it to be entirely frank, but it was at her request to buy the whole collection from me, and after years of the work we’ve been doing together, well, I’d never trust it with anyone else.”
He gestured to the other man, the one on his left, who stepped forward to hand him a manila envelope, which he passed to Pauling.
“Inside is both keys, the door alarm codes, and all other security information for the building where the collection is being stored. They’ll ask for a few codes and confirmation of identity, only because several other art collections and artifacts are being stored there by other affluent individuals such as myself.”
“Thank you, Mr. Montgomery,” Pauling said, taking the envelope gratefully.
“Think nothing of it, my dear. Helen talked me into it all her own,” he said easily enough. “Now, gentlemen, if you would let Miss Pauling and Mr. Normandy into our lounge? I should have these wrapped up before any of us can even think about lunch, eh?”
One of the suits showed the two of them through the doors and down the hallway, through two doors bracketed by similar suits who simply nodded politely at Pauling and ticked their chins at Normandy as they passed them.
Normandy posted up beside the door for all of three seconds before they shut and Pauling pulled her glasses up, rubbing at the bridge of her nose and making a vaguely distressed noise. He then promptly relaxed, instead leaning his hip against an armchair probably worth the same amount as a small car. “So, uh, we’re glad that he’s giving us a bunch of commemorative coins from when dinosaurs still walked the earth?” he asked just below normal speaking volume, eyebrows raised.
“Yes. Very glad. Because unlike about six people total on the planet, he hasn’t figured out yet how valuable those are.”
“What, is a picture of a kangaroo on some copper really gonna make up for a couple hundred thousand American dollars?” Normandy asked, sounding doubtful.
“Not copper. Something else,” she replied. “I can’t tell you much more about it other than that, but these coins are made of something priceless to us. And to the Administrator.”
“…Love? Memories? The magic of family?” he joked, cracking a smile, and she rolled her eyes, moving to open the envelope and start reading the papers inside. “Hey, uh, not to question whether my job should exist, but what the hell am I doing here, exactly? Besides carrying a briefcase. Like, chivalry isn’t dead but I really don’t think you need me carrying your bags and holding the door for you.”
“You’re helping with security, basically,” she replied, adjusting her glasses to squint at tiny handwriting about the collection. “Mr. Montgomery is trustworthy, but he mostly hires out to… well, people like us. His security detail is mostly people we’d rather have screened, freelancers, stuff like that. A lot of people we contract out to are like that. Most of them have heard about me and know better than to try and pull something, since I can hold my own pretty well, but if they haven’t, seeing a second person might persuade them to think it over again.”
“Oh, so I’m like, uh, when it says ‘tow zone’ next to the no parking signs even though nobody checks, or when they’ve got a camera in the corner of the store that isn’t even plugged into anything,” he said, and the looked up at him, confused. “Like, uh, what’s the word… I’m a casual deterrent.”
“Sure,” she said, because it sounded like he knew what he was talking about, shuffling the papers back away and closing the envelope again, making a note to ask the Administrator if she should change their current containment procedures to be closer to Mr. Montgomery’s. “Just… if there’s a fight, you deal with it, otherwise you just stand there and look like you’re paying attention.”
“That’s what the sunglasses are for,” he agreed. “I was blinking morse code at the guy across from me literally the whole time.”
“You know morse code?” Pauling asked, surprised.
“Just the alphabet, ‘S.O.S.’, and ‘ass’.”
She rolled her eyes again, and that’s when the door opened.
She expected Mr. Montgomery, not one of the men in suits. “Excuse me, both of you, if you don’t mind,”the man said, accent having the slightest English tilt to it, a Londoner if Pauling had to guess. “You’re Miss Pauling, the Mann Co. affiliate, yes?”
“That’s me,” she agreed, hesitant, and glanced at Normandy.
“I’m afraid there’s been a mistake. Mr. Montgomery have you the wrong envelope on accident,” the man said apologetically, extending a hand forward. “We apologize for this unfortunate mix-up, it’s really quite embarrassing, but those documents are sensitive and we’ll be needing to see them back now.”
Pauling looked at him, and within a moment, shifted her expression. “Oh, I’m so sorry!” she agreed, nodding. “No, right, of course. These aren’t the papers for the currency collection?”
“I’m afraid not,” the Brit agreed, head tilting just slightly, hand still extended, moving a fraction further forward.
“Well, thank goodness we figured out now and not with us halfway back,” she joked, and moved to hold the folder closer to her body. “I’ll take this right back to Mr. Montgomery, then.”
“He’s sent me to correct the error,” the man explained simply.
“Right,” she said, and saw in her periphery that Normandy had already started sneaking a hand in towards his primary, clearly having pieced together something she was only suspecting. “We can bring this to his office, then, right down the hall.”
“You misunderstand,” the man said, taking a step forward again. “I’ll be taking it to his office myself.”
“That’s funny,” Pauling said. “I didn’t realize you had clearance to be in there. Or to be carrying a semi-automatic instead of a standard handgun.”
The Brit reached for the semi-automatic, and before he could even get it out properly, Normandy hit one clean shot to the side of his head and another to his thigh, sending him crumpling to the ground.
Pauling had only as far as pulling her own handgun free, thumb on the safety, and breathed a sigh of relief, glancing over at Normandy, shifting to more comfortably hold her gun. “Quick reflexes,” she noted.
“Just noticed a lot sooner, maybe,” he shrugged, stepping forward to glance over the body, tucking his gun back away.
“What was your hint?”
“He’s here to give us the right folder, yeah? Well, why were his hands empty, then?”
She was just starting to nod and realize that as well when a second man shouldered through the door, holding a gun at the ready. Normandy scrambled to draw his own, but Pauling fired a shot into his knee, shoulder, and neck to send him dropping before he was even close. “There’s quick on the draw, and then there’s prepared,” she said pointedly. “Gotta think of if there’s more than one, new guy.”
He nodded, and drew his gun again, bending to hit the guy on the ground at the temple hard enough to knock him out if he wasn’t unconscious already. He then glanced up at the sound of a shout from the other side of the door, two men shouldering through, guns drawn but lowered. It was only the firm eye contact they made with both her and Normandy that made her pause the millisecond it took to realize these ones weren’t trying to kill them.
“Pauling, what on earth is going on here?!” Montgomery demanded, entering the room and staring with wide eyes at the bodies on the ground. “What could’ve possessed you to—“
“He was trying to run off with these documents,” she explained quickly, gesturing with the envelope. “He knew whatever was in here was valuable.”
“He drew his gun, sir,” Normandy added, tipping his head down towards the body, and Pauling glanced down as well and found herself a little surprised. He’d rearranged the man just slightly, apparently, adjusting the arm to be holding the gun a bit further outward. “Other one was aiming to kill.”
“My, my,” Montgomery tsk’d, shaking his head as he surveyed the scene. “What a mess. My apologies, Miss Pauling, Mr. Normandy.”
“It’s alright, but you need to start doing more thorough checks on your staff, Mr. Montgomery,” Pauling stressed.
“He’s only been here two weeks, sir, he was one of the men we hired in a hurry after the incident last month,” one of the bodyguards said, and Montgomery shook his head.
“Thank goodness nobody was hurt,” he sighed. “Mutiny, and besides that, they’re bleeding on my carpet. Here are those papers, Miss Pauling—what a day, eh?”
“It’s really alright, we handled it,” Pauling assured him, giving her bravest smile, a little exasperated now.
“Right, right, you and the first baseman,” he agreed, and Normandy fought back an actual smile.
“If you’d like, we can take care of those for you,” Pauling said, gesturing at the bodies. “To pay you back for the carpet and the scare.”
“Sounds fair to me,” Montgomery agreed, clearly relieved.
-
“My dad’s gonna be pissed, by the way,” Normandy was so helpful as to say on the way back up the path to the base. “And you’re fielding that.”
“About the suit, or the fight?” she asked, glancing at his clothes where he was somewhat covered in a fine dusting of mud and grime from the gravedigging, shovel still in his free hand.
“Both. Mostly the fight. Your fault for saying it’d be an easy one to start with,” he said.
“If it was going to be that much of a problem, you wouldn’t have gotten this job. I’d just have made you go do dishes all day or something,” Pauling replied.
“Point taken,” he said, walking ahead to get the door, holding it open for her. “Wait, we’re allowed to mention what we do, right? Just not names?”
“Or locations, even with travel distance. Round up to the hour if it comes up,” she replied.
“Sure, sure,” he agreed, trailing a step behind her as she led the way through the base.
In the common area, there was a bit of a ruckus happening. Soldier, Heavy, and Demo appeared to be having some kind of arm wrestling competition on a rapidly-toppling table, the Engineer was on a stepstool trying to fix the ceiling fan, and Sniper appeared to be half-watching the beginnings of an argument between Pyro and the Spy regarding use of the oven as Medic patched up a burn on his arm.
“Hullo,” Sniper greeted the two of them, sounding a little bored, Medic giving them a brief, polite nod. Normandy’s eyebrows were raised pretty far as he surveyed the room.
“Hi, Sniper,” she greeted in return, then cleared her throat, raised her voice. “Team meeting in five minutes! New mission for next week!”
Groans from the room at large, the eight mercenaries starting to finish up what they were doing and filing out. Spy moved over, glancing over Normandy and starting to talk to him in rapid-fire French, picking smaller bits of gravel off of his suit as they walked.
“Alright,” she addressed the room, Normandy peeling off from getting mother hen’d by Spy to stand next to the blackboard with her. “Monday, you’re all going on a transport mission. Getting the truck from point A to point B with everything in the boxes intact. Already we’ve had to put up with some people trying to get ahold of these things, so bring your guns.”
“Oh, our guns, you said? Lads, this is a serious one, keep your heads on a feckin' swivel, she’s sayin’ we might even need guns, can you believe it?” Demo faux-gasped, and chuckled when Spy bopped him on the arm, rolling his eyes at the Scot's theatrics.
“Yeah, yeah,” she waved off, flipping through the papers a bit. “So Engie, I’ll need the keys to the truck, me and Normandy are going to be loading those tomorrow, all of you need to be at this drop point bright and early.”
“How early?” Heavy rumbled.
“Six. Hour and a half of drive from here.”
Some complaints from the room that she sighed at.
“Hey, hey, calm the hell down,” Normandy cut in, and she glanced over at him where he had his arms crossed and a stern look on his face. “You chuckleheads get to have all eight of you to unload the damn thing, me and Miss P gotta do all the rest of this on our own and probably kill twenty guys on the way there and back. She had to be up at 6 AM, workin’ since 7 AM, lunch break at noon and nothin’ else, and we just got back now at, what, fuckin’, 10, 11 PM? Any of you work her shift and then see if you even got the energy to complain about wakin’ up early, how about that?”
The room went utterly devoid of complaint or backsass. “Thank you, Normandy,” she said politely, and he just nodded once, glancing off to the side. “Anyways, anything new on this end? Spy, how are you adjusting?”
“Very well,” he said simply. “I have nothing pressing to say. Once I’ve been updated from the stock weaponry provided here to my requested preferred weaponry, I believe I should do just fine.”
“I see you already have Herr Normandy digging graves,” Medic chimed in. “Straight into the hard labor, ja?”
“Eh, hey, y’know, it’s why they keep us young people around,” he shrugged, grinning, and there was a brief uproar to drown out Medic’s entirely offended scoffing and Spy’s snort-laughing.
“Get ‘im, lad!” Demo cheered, and Normandy indeed looked fairly proud of himself.
“Monday, transport mission,” Pauling noted over the noise, writing it up on the chalkboard to hide her own smile from the room. “Normandy, you and me are doing the boxes tomorrow. Everyone on the same page? Good. Dismissed. Oh, and Pyro—stop taking the fire alarms down when they beep. They’re beeping because you light things on fire in the base. Do that outside.”
“Oh, hey, uh, helmet guy, All-American Beef,” Normandy called, and Soldier straightened up. “Here’s your shovel back. Gettin’ my own tomorrow.”

Soldier walked directly over to him, clasping a hand on his shoulder. “That’s a high honor, Cadet,” he said, tone grave. “Do not take this responsibility lightly.”
“I, uh, I won’t?” he said hesitantly, and blinked a few times as the shovel was carefully taken from him before it was promptly marched from the room in double-time. Only then did Normandy look over at her. “So he’s always like that?”
“You’ll get used to it,” she assured, dusting chalk from her hands. “You should get to sleep soon, we have to be up early.”
“Sure thing, Miss P.”
101 notes · View notes
dancingamongstdust · 3 years
Text
Creepypasta Scenarios - First Meeting (Part 3)
I’ve opened requests now, if anybody is interested. Here’s the post:
Requests
Lost Silver
As stupid as it sounds, the game didn’t scare you.
It had started as a joke, something passed around your friend group after it had been discovered. The cartridge was just a janky version of a Pokémon game that was apparently spooky and so, everybody had taken turns messing around with it. They all said creepy things started happening but nothing too bad.
When it was your turn, you had been fully expecting something out of a horror movie. Instead, you had gotten a game that just had audio cut offs and weird notes warning you to stay out. It wasn’t all together scary.
You mentioned this to the next person you gave the game to in your friend group and they had laughed, saying it would probably ring true for them also.
But for some reason, your ally didn’t manifest.
Less than two days later, they practically threw the game at the rest of you and ran away sprouting things about curses. After that, the appeal of playing it kind of went away.
Nobody wanted to buy it and apparently throwing it out wasn’t a suggestion. So you ended up getting it.
Curiosity soon got the better of you and you booted up the game again, really sure that it would do something absolutely crazy but it never did. It ran like it always had with only that one file being completed.
So you deleted the file.
And nothing happened.
The next day, when you booted up the game, the file had simply returned as though you hadn’t deleted it in the first place. A similar thing occurred the next time. And the next.
Eventually you gave up and just started your own game. There, everything ran like it was meant to and you were beginning to think that your friends had all been imagining stuff. Maybe their paranoid got to them or something like that?
But eventually, the nightmares started. And they were bad.
You couldn’t remember exactly what happened during them. They were a swirling mess of games and glitches, horrible things spelled out in letters and blood covering everything. You would always wake up right when they seemed to be coming to a pivotal point. You’d find yourself dragged into a graveyard and then you’d wake up screaming
It was awful. You hardly got any sleep during them and they seemed to haunt you every night, keeping you up until the early hours of the morning.
But the worst only came when you didn’t wake up.
When you were dragged to the grave and looked down to see the ellipsis where the name should be. A punch to the gut that reminded you of what the game file was called. A confirmation of what was causing this dream.
You stared at it for ages before your eyes drifted up and you met his gaze. He was covered in blood, it leaked from every orifice and limb. It stained his dirty clothing even worse.
While you were staring, the world seemed to distort even though he didn’t. The game world melted away and your bedroom slowly reappeared.
It wasn’t until you saw car headlights move past your window – casting awful shadows across the room – that you realised you were no longer dreaming. He wasn’t a figment of your imagination.
The temperature in the room plummeted and you began to slowly reach for a weapon of some kind. He turned to look at what you were watching. His head tilted to the side and a glitch raced across his body before he vanished into thin air. Flicking on the lights didn’t show him hiding or cowering.
Perhaps your friends weren’t crazy after all.
Masky
“You know, if we had been a little more patient, none of this would have happened,” your sibling lectured. “We could be relaxing inside the car without having to worry about a bloody flash flood coming down from the sky.”
You shoved their back, forcing them to stumble a little as they went through the door. “Chances are the river’s going to burst its banks anyway. We would have been stuck in traffic for hours because the bridge is blocked off.”
“At least we would have been dry,” they muttered, running their fingers through their hair. “And not trapped inside an abandoned building.”
You rolled your eyes and made your way over the rubble to settle down on a camping chair. “Don’t even start. This place has been a hangout for my friends and I for ages. There’s never been a single problem bigger than a few spiders.”
“Till a landlord shows up,” they scoffed.
“Then we’ll move to the forest,” you joked. “I’m sure there’s a good bear cave we can use.”
“I’m going to be an only child,” they said, rolling their eyes. Still, they made their way over and sat. “How long do you think we have until the storm dies down?”
You relaxed back into the chair and smiled up at the asbestos-filled ceiling. “From the sound of it, a while.”
It wouldn’t have been the first time you had taken a nap in the building. You were scared of giant cockroaches coming to eat you once. You had gotten used to it since then but this time when you woke up, you were uneasy.
Glancing around, nothing was out of the ordinary. Your sibling was snoring in the chair next to you and outside the rain was pounding the roof.
You sat upright. Sometimes was definitely wrong.
Pulling your phone from your pocket, you got up from the chair and began walking as quietly as you could through the house. It had always been tiny and practically void of furniture, but the few rooms provided ample hiding spots.
Nothing but rubble was in most of the rooms but, in what you presumed had once been a bathroom, you found a person.
He had his back to you but when you pushed the door open to peer in, he spun around, his hand flying to his side. He was wearing a white mask, dark features etched onto it, and an orange jacket. A dark stain ran up the right side of it, emanating from under his hand. The oddness of his clothing made you immediately back away from the door, finger twitching on your cell phone in case you needed to call for help.
The two of you stared at each other in silence.
You were lost about what to say or do. The stain on his jacket was spreading and the more you stared at it, the more you became convinced it was blood. “Are you okay?” you finally managed to ask.
It took him a while to respond but then he nodded. The mask was unnerving you. You didn’t like not being able to see a person’s facial expressions.
“I don’t mean to pry or anything, but it really looks like you’re bleeding,” you said. “And quite badly. I can call for an ambulance or something although…” you turned your attention to the window behind his head. “I’m not sure they’ll be able to get anywhere with this weather.”
He stepped backward. “I’m fine,” he said, so soft you barely caught it. “I thought this place was abandoned.”
“It normally is,” you answered. “But we had to avoid the storm. I’m guessing that’s why you’re here also?”
“Yes,” he responded.
You waited or him to say something more, but all you got was silence. He had moved further away and now he had his back against the window. Part of you wanted to turn around and go back to your sibling but you were unsure about turning your back on the strange man.
The mask made you scared he could stab you or something.
Somebody calling your name made you turn your head on instinct. Your sibling must have woken up and realised you were missing.
Quickly, you turned back to the man, but he had disappeared. Rain spat through the now open window.
Nurse Ann
Everybody always warned you about exploring old buildings. They would yell about how many things could injure or kill you. Stray animals, drug addicts, old equipment, and all that. You had heard just about every warning imaginable. Ghosts were pretty commonly mentioned also.
But killer nurse was a new one.
“Come on, just give me a little more information,” you nagged. “I’m going there whether you’re with me or not so you may as well just tell me what you’ve heard.”
Your friend (and partner in crime for most ventures) groaned. “It’s not much. They just say that she guards the place and if you get too close, she’ll run you off with a chainsaw. Some people have died from injuries they got while there. Let’s just give this one a miss, alright?”
But you were not in agreement at all.
“Maybe she’s cute though,” you teased.
They didn’t find that funny and you didn’t push them to come with you. So later that evening, you snuck in by yourself.
The hospital was old with crumbling walls and smashed windows. It was hidden from the public by means of a tall barbed-wire fence and a substantial distance of open garden. Nothing too extreme for you and definitely worth the potential items you’d find inside. When hospitals went under, they often left tons of awesome stuff just scattered around.
You’d never sold anything you found in your abandoned building dives. They were more collectables than anything else but they meant quite a bit to you.
There weren’t any signs of crazy nurses as you approached the place. Nobody came running at you with a chainsaw at least. You didn’t even find evidence of squatters who could sometimes pose some danger.
After deciding it was safe enough, you lifted yourself through one of the windows and began to explore.
Honestly, it was creepy. Everything was way too old to be worth collecting and there were too many unidentifiable stains for your liking. The water damage was bad. It looked like the ceiling was there for aesthetics only and several rooms creaked too much for you to comfortably cross them.
And that was even without the awkward feeling of being watched.
You told yourself that it was just superstition but you couldn’t shake it. Every few seconds saw you looking over your shoulder in anticipation. It distracted you from keeping your eye on the path in front of you and the loud crack reached your ears too late.
The floor gave out and you fell through. Your shoulder hit some kind of metal object as you landed in the room below. Painful shocks ripped through your body and your head knocked against the floor with a heavy thud.
Stars danced in front of your vision and you raised your hand to the top of your head. Blood coated your hand when you lowered it to look.
Shit.
Shakily, you tried to pull yourself up but quickly found that your arm was too sore. Instead, you pulled your phone from your pocket and sent off the emergency text to your friend.
The world faded to black not long after that.
When you woke up next, you were in your room with a bandage wrapped around your head. You had felt like absolute crap but still gotten up to thank them for the save. They had nodded and warned you to be more careful, happy that you had been outside the hospital so they didn’t have to look for too long.
Before you could even think about how you had crawled there, they asked how you had managed to do your own stitches so nicely.
Puppeteer
Your camera was on 10% battery.
Grumbling, you shoved it into your bag and cursed your past self for forgetting to put it on charge. In order to get the best sunrise photos, you had found yourself waking up earlier and earlier. It was tiring but it was worth it… most of the time.
You just hoped that at least one of your pictures was usable but you could only check on them once you got home.
The streetlight above your head flickered as you walked past. It wasn’t unusual but when you were the only person awake for miles around, it was awfully creepy.
Putting your hands into your jacket pockets, you continued strolling back home. The neighborhood had never been dangerous and despite living in the area for your entire life, no incidents made you want to stop walking around at night.
Deciding that you wanted to take a precautionary shot, you headed for your neighbour’s house first. They had an arch covered in jasmine flowers that made for some perfectly safe photos and they never minded your presence.
After making your way there and getting a few photos, you were treated to the fright of your life when their began howling and barking. It wasn’t aimed at you but you didn’t like the noise regardless.
As you rounded the corner of the house, planning on racing back to your own home, you encountered the dog’s target.
A man – cloaked in the darkness and barely illuminated by the streetlight – opening one of the windows with ease. Irritated by the dog, he didn’t notice you until your finger twitched around the shutter of your camera. There was a flash.
His head snapped up and you screamed.
The man’s complexation was literally grey. He wasn’t just ill, he was the colour of storm clouds. Golden eyes with no pupils glared at you and froze you in place. Whatever he was, this man was the furthest thing from human.
Your scream woke your neighbors. The sound of movement began coming from inside the house.
He abandoned the window, stalking towards you. The air tingled like it was expecting a lightning storm. Golden tendrils grew from his fingertips and shot towards you. They had you pinned in an instant.
You struggled against them and opened your mouth to scream again but they wrapped around your head, forcing your jaw shut.
This was how you died… tears spilled down your cheeks at the realization. You were going to be an unsolved murder. All you hoped was you got a good picture of him.
Your neighbor’s front door opened and great dane let out an ear-splitting bark as he raced toward you.
The man, or creature, or monster, or whatever he was, released you to face the dog. He let it approach before vanishing into a cloud of smoke as its jaws reached him.
“What was that?” the timid voice brought you back into reality.
“It was trying to get into your house,” you said. “I screamed when I saw it and then it grabbed me.” Your voice changed to a whimper as reality hit you. You nearly died.
The small child of the house came over to hug your leg. “I’m sure Puppet didn’t mean to scare you,” she said. “He always comes to visit but he doesn’t like it when people make noise. You shouldn’t scream when you see him again.”
You made eye-contact with the parents and they wore expressions of horror at their daughter’s words.
“Puppet?” you asked in a small voice.
She nodded rapidly. “He says he stops by because he likes watching people. I think that he’s watching us all right now! But he can hide in the shadows too well.”
“I’m going to go and call the police,” somebody said.
You weren’t all too focused. The feeling of being watched grew heavier and you clutched tightly at the camera in your hands.
Slenderman
You couldn’t tell if they were being serious. You hoped that they were joking. They weren’t genuinely going to…
“No,” you stated.
The two younger children both turned to look at you simultaneously. Guilt flashed across their faces as though they weren’t aware you were listening. It was as though you were asked to babysit them because you didn’t pay attention. These two should have realised that by now.
“Do you think all the stories are true?” the boy asked. “I think that they are. One of my friends said she saw a huge dog in the forest and then it ran away after eating a whole cow!”
“No way!” his twin sister shouted. “Dogs don’t eat cows, so it can’t be true!”
You put on your best intimidating expression and crossed your arms. “I don’t care if they’re true or not. There is absolutely no chance that either of you are going to go running off into the woods with bears, wolves and all kinds of other creatures.”
The two children glanced at each other and bolted for the tree line before you could grab their shirts.
Thankfully your legs were longer even if they had a head start and you managed to catch up pretty quickly. Once you caught the boy and picked him up with ease, the girl dashed behind a tree.
“Can we please just leave?” you asked nicely. “If we forget about the forest adventure thing, I promise I won’t tell your parents and I’ll get you ice cream.”
The boy was trying his hardest to get out of your hold. You were starting to think babysitting didn’t pay enough.
“I don’t want ice cream,” the girl said. “I want to go and find a unicorn.”
She darted off into the forest and you let out a deep groan. Shifting the boy’s weight over your one hip, you started walking after her. If you wanted to give chase via running, you would have to put the kid down and trust him to follow or stay.
It was obvious that wasn’t happening.
It didn’t take you too long to find the girl. Mostly because she had stopped in the middle of a weird grove in the trees. She was just staring off into the dark shadows beyond it.
As you approached her, static popped in your ears. You shook your head in an effort to displace it but the closer you got, the louder it became.
The child in your arms whimpered, clutching his head.
You softly called her name and then it appeared. It was a man-like monster, standing just in the shadows of the trees. Easily over 7ft tall and insanely thin with no facial features. Your heart jumped into your throat and your stomach tied itself into a knot.
Without taking your eyes off it, you reached out a hand and fumbled around until you grabbed the girl’s shirt.
The static was getting louder and louder. You tried to shut it out as you started moving backwards, tugging the child along after you. She wasn’t willing to move her legs. She was entranced but whether by fear or magic, you couldn’t tell.
And then it was much closer.
You stumbled in fright, letting go of the girl’s shirt and landing on your ass. The boy fell on top of you but scrambled away and hide in the bushes within the blink of an eye. You sent a silent prayer to him to run back home to the other adults.
Once again, the creature was stationary but now the static was growing to such a volume that you could imagine your ears were starting to bleed.
You reached out for the girl again slowly, but something wrapped around your leg and yanked you into the air.
It took almost a full second for you to realise that the screaming ringing in your ears was you. Whatever was holding you tightened and whipped your body through the air. It was like your leg was being ripped away.
Then you were falling.
It was some feat of luck that you managed to twist your body, so you didn’t land on your head. You lay there for a while before something poking your back made you unbury your face.
The twins were staring at you with wide eyes and the monster was nowhere in sight.
“What was –“ you couldn’t finish.
“Slenderman,” they said in perfect sync.
Splendorman
Another stop…
You couldn’t help yourself. Every time you walked past one of the posters fluttering lightly in the wind you had to stop and stare at it.
A few days ago, your dog, your beautiful and sweet puppy, had disappeared from your house without a trace. The missing posters were depressing reminders that he wasn’t home. It hadn’t taken long for your mind to spiral into the negative thoughts about how close the road was.
Damn your coworkers. One of the had suggested the road in the first place and while they hadn’t intended anything malicious, it was definitely not helping your fears.
The dog had been with you through thick and through thin… if it was dead, you may as well have lost a close family member.
Hanging your head, you dragged your eyes away from the poster and kept walking.
People bumped into you, but it was your fault. You refused to look up in case another poster distracted you. Getting home before the sun set was your only focus now.
You had tried going out and searching in all the places where your dog once spent time to no avail. Always willing to try again, you chose to drop off your bags and head out later that evening when you ran out of distractions.
As you walked through the gates in front of your house, a gust of air gently messed up your hair. A gust of wind suspiciously similar to a laugh.
Your logical mind told you it came from the street, but something made you stop in your tracks.
The walls around your property towered. There’s no possibility that somebody could be in your garden. To try and scale one of the walls, they would have been in full view of your neighbours who would have undoubtedly called the cops.
“You’re sad,” the wind whispered before you could brush off your suspicion.
Spinning wildly, you searched around for the source. You backed up until your entrance gate was behind you. You could run down to the main street with ease if you could just get your fumbling fingers to unlock things.
“Don’t run,” the wind said, this time blowing from a separate direction. “I promise I’m not going to hurt you. I just wanted to know why you’re upset.”
Is this what going insane was? Nobody around and the wind was talking to you. You had always feared losing your mind and now it was happening.
“I’m real,” the wind said. “I’m hiding because I’ll scare you if you see me.”
“I’m going mad,” you muttered, shaking your head. “If this is somebody pulling a prank on me I swear….”
The wind quietened for a bit and then it picked up again, ruffling your hair as it spoke. “If I show myself, it’ll prove that you’re not going crazy, but I don’t want to make it worse by frightening you… you’re so sad already.”
“I lost my best friend and people have been telling me he’s most likely dead,” you hissed. “Obviously I’m not in the best mood. Now I’m losing my fucking mind and talking to air.”
The atmosphere around you dropped, like it does moments before lightning strikes. You glanced at the sky in confusion. As expected, no clouds in sight.
You lowered your gaze and a 7ft tall creature covered in bright polka dots stood in front of your house.
Once you screamed, it disappeared.
“I’m sorry,” the wind said. “I knew I would scare you, but I had hoped it would show you that I’m not imaginary. I’m just trying to help.”
The gate finally opened behind you and you stumbled backwards through it, your heart sitting in your throat. A monster was in your house and it was probably going to kill you. Spinning on your heel, you took off full speed back towards the main street.
You were fully expecting it to give chase now that you hadn’t fallen for its claims of harmlessness but it didn’t.
Instead you reached the main road and only got a few strange looks because of how much you were shaking. Nothing followed you.
The wind picked up once more. “I’ll try and help,” it promised.
People walking around you should have heard it as well but none of them so much as blinked.
Ticci Toby
While you had been told that a noise limit for the forest existed, your laughter refused to cooperate. It rang through the trees and probably chased off all the animals nearby. A picnic out in a national forest was a fantastic way to reconcile with nature and to scare it all away.
With eleven people in your picnic party, chances of any creatures coming into view were already slim though so you didn’t worry too much.
“We didn’t bring nearly enough fruit,” you muttered as you dug in the basket.
“Excuse you, I brought a whole watermelon but you ate it,” somebody answered your grumble. “If you want fruit, it is spring. Go and forage for some berries.”
You snorted. “Yeah, right. I’m going to go out by myself in the middle of the one season where bears are irritable as fuck. I know I sometimes act a little impulsively, but I don’t exactly have a wish to die at the claws of a grumpy teddy.”
Your friend leaned towards you. “Is that so? What if we split into teams and made a bet? Loser has to take a dip in the river.”
“A bet?” you asked. “I’m interested.”
She grinned and snapped her fingers. “Okay, there are eleven people so I’m feeling groups of two with one impartial party as a judge. We should be fine if we make enough noise and stick within close vicinity to each other. See how many berries we can gather?”
Tipping out the picnic basket’s contents, you smirked and pushed it into her chest. “Oh, I hope you brought a swimming costume.”
Everybody teamed up with ease and grabbed one of the many containers lying on the blanket. You headed out with your partner and gave a wink to the other teams. All you needed was to find one good bush first and you had it won.
“We should split up,” your partner said. “Cover more ground.”
You nodded. “We meet up back here once we’ve found a good bush,” you agreed. “And we shout if we find any animals.”
Obviously, your plans hadn’t involved losing your footing almost directly after the two of you split.
Tumbling down the small hill, you tried your hardest to protect yourself from the bushes as you went through them. At some point, you lost your basket and by the time you had finally rolled to a stop, you had no idea where it was.
Grumbling, you stood up and started searching until something dark caught your eye. Thinking it was your basket, you made your way over.
The clearing you walked into housed a scene you could never have imagined.
A dead bear lay slumped against a tree, its fur being what had caught your eye earlier. A hatchet buried in its neck was spilling blood onto the floor around it. All that hardly compared to the man leaning against a tree.
“Oh my god!” you exclaimed. “Are you alright?”
His head immediately snapped up, allowing you to see that he was wearing a mouth guard and a pair of goggles. Blood seeped from between his fingers where they clutched against his chest, but he hardly noticed. A hatchet was hanging from his belt.
Suddenly, you were wishing you had kept your mouth shut.
He stared at you blankly for a while, an occasional twitch minorly affecting his body. Reaching up, he took off his mouthguard. “I can’t feel any pain,” he said. “So, I’m fine. Why are y-you out here? The hiking trail is far.” He struggled with one of the words, seeming to hiccup a little on it.
“I was searching for berries and I slipped down a hill,” you answered. “Are you sure you’re okay? It looks like you got into a fight with a bear. Your shirt is all bloody.”
“I did fight a bear,” he laughed, gesturing to it. “I won.”
Your eyes grew wider. “I think you should get to a hospital. What’s your name? I can call somebody for you and we’ll get you medical attention.”
“Toby,” he said. “That’s my name. What’s yours?”
You gave him your full name and pulled out your phone. “My friends are close by,” you said. “Don’t worry, they’ll be here to help soon.”
When you raised your attention from your phone, he had disappeared and so had the hatchet from the bear’s neck.
Trenderman
Work was hard. It made your feet ache, it made your back click and crack, and it felt like the problems would never end.
Would you give up working in the fashion industry? Not a chance.
Your boss walked past where you were calming down an irate customer over the phone and dropped the keys to the front of the building in front of you. “Close up for me,” she mouthed as she left.
Nodding, you moved them to the side of the desk where they couldn’t be lost.
Once you had finished calming the customer, you glanced around to check how many people were left in the room. Three still working and one in the process of leaving. You were technically going into overtime at this point, but you didn’t mind.
There was a reason you were promoted so quickly.
“We need to set up cameras!” one of the floor managers snapped, storming into the office. She marched straight over to your desk and glowered at you. “I put this request in a week ago.”
Scrolling through the documents, you quickly opened the file. “I see but it looks like it’s been bumped due to a shipment malfunction, I’ll flag it. What’s the problem?”
“Customers or members of staff are moving items around and throwing things out without warning. We need to catch the culprits!” she snapped.
“What has been thrown out?” you asked. “I’ll add it into the information.”
The woman started listing quicker than you could type. “I’ve found crocs, toeless thigh-high boots, bellbottomed jeans, coloured faux fur jackets, luminous lipstick, w-necks, and jeggings all in vast numbers in the trash can. Every time I put them out on shelves, they disappear again.”
It took everything in you not to snort. “I’ll mark this vital.”
She stalked off and you went back to inputting the shipping requirements. You were meant to be organising what was coming in for the latest line and subtly omitting anything that wouldn’t sell well enough.
Slowly but surely, your co-workers trickled out of the office after finishing off their daily tasks. You kept going, trying to make sure you could have a longer break the next day.
Finally, when the sun had already set, you relented and started getting ready to go home.
You sung as you finished packing up for the day. Being the last one in the building (thus having to lock up) made you a little more confident as you danced around getting everything together. You slung your bag over your shoulder and happily trotted over to the door.
It made you so happy that your boss entrusted you to be the last one around. She was so hyper-protective of company secrets that you were proud of yourself for winning her over.
Your talent with people was something you attributed to dealing with painful customers.
As you passed through the store-part of the business you stopped to rearrange a mannequin. Every morning when you came in, you always noticed something had been changed with this specific one. You figured you could move something small and see if it would be a good place to set up a hidden camera.
Though you weren’t expecting it to suddenly grab your arm.
“You may be one of the few workers here with good taste, but I advise you don’t try and change my outfit,” it said. It didn’t have a mouth, but the words rang in your head, nevertheless.
You screamed and pulled away, tearing your arm from its grip. Shelves were knocked over and clothing was sent flying as you tried to escape.
The mannequin just watched you as you fumbled madly for the door.
The glass rattled in the frame from how hard you slammed it shut behind you. You sped off down the street, moving faster than you ever had before. You collapsed on your lawn by the time you reached the house, taking deep breaths.
Nothing had followed you. Everything was okay.
With shaking fingers, you dialed your boss’ number and told her you would be taking a sick day. There wasn’t a chance in hell you were going anywhere near there again.
Not to mention the mess you made… you were definitely getting fired.
127 notes · View notes
wqlfstqr · 3 years
Text
◟𖥻 ♡⃕ ៹ ·˚ ༘ ◡̈ she wasn't you ཿ remus lupin
▰▰▰ pairing(s): young!remus lupin x fem!reader, young!james potter x fem!reader (platonic)
summary: remus realizes that he was looking for y/n in other people
warning: a little jealousy ig, probably some grammar mistakes since english is not my first language :)
a/n: this is my first post and is honestly such a mess, I didn't even know what I was writing half of the time but I really liked the result so here ya go!!
words count: 1868
slightly inspired by this scene from secret admirer
Tumblr media Tumblr media
ㅤㅤㅤy/n had always loved hogsmeade, especially in snowy times, there was something about the town that used to made her very happy and excited about the days they were allowed to visit the place. However, that saturday morning she wasn't as thrilled about the trip as always, and she was even willing to stay at bed all day while her friends went to have fun.
“cmon, you never miss an oportunity to go to hogsmeade” pleaded james while the girl covered herself with blankets up to the neck
“y'know what they say, there's always a first time for everything” she shrugged.
“is this about remus?” potter ventured to ask, making the girl freeze in her spot.
“what about remus?” she asked back, trying to act nonchalantly, the boy raised his eyebrowns at her in pure disbelief.
“I know that you know that he has a date, y/n/n” he said cautiously, waiting to see the reaction of his best friend, who hid further under the sheets as a response
"really? didn't know, guess people find out new things every day huh” she kept acting like she didn't know, like that wasn't the reason she was in bed at two in the afternoon, but she was a pretty bad liar and the way james knew her, probably better than anyone, didn't help at all
“listen to me y/n, I know that you fancy him and I know it's been like this for a while but this is probably for the better” james sighned, sitting on the edge of his bed, where she was laying with the covers covering most of her face “I love moony, and i'm very happy for him, but you deserve more than being sad in bed for someone that doesn't see how amazing you are”
y/n poked her head out of the covers, a very little smile crossing her face as she extended her arms towards james who quickly understood and took her in his own arms, hugging her and stroking her tousled hair with a smile. she felt safe, she always felt safe being with james, as if her worries were silly and there was nothing in the world that could hurt her.
“I still don't want to go to hogsmeade” she mumbled, her face hiding in the crook of his neck “I appreciate what you're doing for me, really, but I just want to sleep and forget about all this, just for today”
“then I'll stay with you” james replied, laying down and dragging y/n with him, determined not to let her go.
“but you should go, you deserve some fun and peter and sirius are waiting for you, you guys probably had a lot of plans for today.” she babbled, shoking her head.
“I'm pretty sure they can survive a few hours without me” james insisted and y/n knew he wasn't going to give up.
“can they? 'cause I bet sirius would die after fifteen minutes without you” she said jokingly, closing her eyes with a smile peeking out of her face as she heard james laughing
“he can figure how to survive just for today, I'm not gonna leave you alone drowning in your own misery” he joked, but the determination was clear in his voice.
y/n didn't bother to reply, knowing he would keep insisting, James Potter was for sure stubborn as hell and once he had proposed something, it was impossible to get the idea out of his head. So she sighned and, without talking more, she made herself comfortable in his arms, her eyes still closed as the world began to disappear around her and a feeling of peace started settling in her chest as the minutes passed slowly.
“shut up, you're gonna wake them up" sirius' voice flooded y/n's ears, followed by the sound of a door being opened
"no need, you already did" replied peter watching at the bed where his two friends were laying.
indeed, y/n began to slowly open her eyes while letting out a small yawn but remus was too frozen in his place to even react to that, a very strange feeling hitting his stomach as his head replayed over and over the scene his own eyes had witnessed seconds before; y/n laying on top of James, her face hidden in his chest while the boy hugged her around the waist, both of them fast asleep over the messy sheets.
“hey guys, how was hogsmeade?” she said, releasing herself from james's grasp to sit next to him, a tired smile crossing her face as she watched the other three marauders.
“it was pretty boring withou-” peter's sentence was left unfinished and the words lost in the air as remus spoke above him.
“we spend the whole afternoon looking for you two” he looked angry and y/n's tiredness disappeared quickly, being remplaced with surprise at the actitude of the boy.
“the hell's happening?” muttered james, his voice sounding sleepy as he narrowed his eyes at his friends
“we can ask you the same question" replied remus bitterly “did you even think how bloody worried we were?”
“moony what the fuck, It wasn't a big deal, we just fell asleep.” james was still half asleep, maybe too much to deal with the situation.
“you know what, prongs? I just remembered we bought a bunch of stuff from zonko's” sirius was fast to intervene, walking towards potter's bed “why don't we go watch it? I thought we could think of some way to use them”
before james could even respond, sirius lifted him completely out of bed and dragged him to the door, james tripping over his own feet while trying to walk on his own as peter didn't waste time following them. y/n got up too, with the intention of following them but sirius quickly closed the door before she could even get to it.
she understood the message very clear, exhaling before she turned to look at the only boy left; remus put his hands to his own face to hide behind them, letting out an exasperated sigh. the girl approached him quietly without saying anything, the two of them falling in a silence for some very long minutes.
“what happened to you?” she hesitated before asking, eyeing him with discretion.
“do you like him?” the answer was obviusly not expected by y/n, who seemed to have been taken by surprise “I mean james, do you like him?”
“what are you talking about?” she laugned with disbelief, but when she saw how serious remus was, she sighed “of course not”
“it's you who I like, prat” she wanted to tell him, but she bit her tongue just in time not to let go of anything that she would regret later, falling silent as she watched remus nooding slowly with his head.
“why do you care anyway” she questioned instead, crossing her arms under her chest.
“you two are my best friends, of course I care” y/n felt the disappointment roll her stomach at the answer. That was not the answer she was expecting.
“how was your date?” she quickly changed the subject, even though a part of her didn't want to know the answer.
“oh great, yeah, she's great” He rambled on, glancing at y / n sideways before speaking again “but...”
“but...” she encouraged, biting her lower lip while looking at the floor.
“but...” remus hesitated, scratching the back of his neck as a million thoughts ran through his head “she was great but she wasn't you”
she quickly raised her head, allowing remus a view of her tear-filled eyes but she didn't care about that, her biggest concern was the way her heart was starting to beat fast, almost as if it was treatening to jump off her chest in any moment.
“what do you mean?” she gulped, feeling a lump in her throat that didn't allow her to fully form the words.
“she was talking about all those things and she was really interesting you know? or so I thought, because I wasn't really paying attention” he admitted, shutting his eyes for a minute “I wasn't paying attention 'cause the only thing I could think about was that she wasn't you”
y/n had always liked remus, and she really didn't think anyone could blame her for it, was there really something not to like?  Remus was pretty, kind and incredibly charming, he was a great friend, extremely smart and responsible when it was necessary but at the same time he could be so much fun when he was around the people he felt comfortable with.  if anyone thought about the perfect human prototype, then the closest thing to that would have to be remus lupin.
so being there in that exact moment, standing in front of him after hearing what he had to say, she felt all the words get stuck in her throat as she locked eyes with him.
“it just wasn't what I thought it was supposed to be” he continued, feeling nervous as the time passed and there was no response from her “I expected her to be like... you.”
she had dreamed of situations similar to that for so long, she had waited for something like that for years and now that she had remus telling her all that, looking completely serious, she didn't know how to respond and that made her feel slightly frustrated, because she could see the desperation growing in lupin's eyes as time passed.
“I just want you to know that I don't expect you to feel the same, but I just can't keep it all to myself anymore” he kept babbling and was only interrumpted when y/n finally reacted.
and she did the only thing that crossed her mind, approaching him and pulling him by the collar of his shirt to bring their lips together in a kiss that caught remus off guard and he only reacted seconds later, realizing that everything was real and not just a product of his imagination; his shoulders relaxing as he raised one of his hands to her chin, the other hand resting on her waist. Their lips danced together for a few seconds, fitting perfectly, almost as if they were made for each other and everything around them disappeared, the world stopping its course during that moment.
“I don't like james” she repeated, as she had done minutes before, her breathing was agitated as she rested her forehead on his “I don't like him because I like you, you idiot”
remus smile grew while he leaned to give her a little peek on the lips, only to be interrumpted by a sniff coming from the entry of the room, the two of them quickly pulling apart to put their glances towards the place, only to find three people standing right there, each one with the same smile on their faces.
“well aren't you two adorable?” teased sirius, with a grin on his face.
“you guys seriously don't know boundaries, do you?" y/n asked, only realizing her mistake once she saw sirius smiling even more.
“we siriusly don't”
201 notes · View notes
writersrealmbts · 3 years
Text
Diamond Tears and Little Wings: Part 7/Final
Description: You’re a fairy, taken in by BTS. You need lots of love and care, otherwise your light will fade and you turn to stone. Between the seven of them, you should never feel unloved. Right?
Warnings: N/A
Posted: 03/04/2021
Tags: bts x reader, ot7
Fluff: 4,296 words
A/N: Woohoo! We finished the series!
Tumblr media
They had almost completely redecorated the apartment, making it ultra-fairy friendly. It was like a paradise and you loved them even more for it.
Your dollhouse was perfect, and had more spots for you to hide in because you did need privacy (the bathroom was also completely closed in this one, thank goodness). It had it’s own power source and running water, and magic plumbing because they got it from fairy craftsmen. The stove worked, the fridge worked, and the bed was soft and plump.
They had more plush rugs around the house just in case you crashed (it happened), and way more house plants. Even a sauna-like terrarium for winter days.
Your room was decorated with new pictures, posters, and paintings.
And they’d rearranged their rooms, too. Jimin’s and Hoseok’s beds arranged to be more easily pushed together at a moment’s notice—something they were doing before even unpacking.
Yoongi brought in blankets and pillows as you tried to figure out what they were doing.
Jungkook and Taehyung brought in the TV and dvd player, and Seokjin brought in the table for it to rest on.
Then they all disappeared, Hoseok patting you on the head as he passed.
You looked around, frowning as you tried to figure out when they had agreed on a movie night, especially since you’d been with them the whole time….
Taehyung came back first, cleaned up and picking you up. Carrying you up the side of the bed and then setting you down as far as he could reach, but without reaching the crack. He was humming happily as he climbed onto the bed beside you, and wrapped you in his arms, making sure both of you were propped up for watching whatever movie it was that they had chosen. You hoped it wasn’t anything too intricate, after flying through timezones and since you were still adjusting.
Taehyung was running his fingers through your hair, playing with it. “It was really bad that first month,” He whispered.
You studied his face, seeing the invisible scars in the look in his eyes and the way they stared at nothing.
“The first day we were a mess, and just sort of…numb. But that night…Hobi-hyung was so angry and he picked a fight with Jin-hyung. I think Jin-hyung only went along with the fight because he didn’t want Hobi-hyungie doing it to us. I’ve never seen either of them like that. And then Namjoonie-hyung got involved, but he was also arguing instead of trying to settle it. Yoongi-hyung grabbed Jimin and Jungkook and dragged them out, but I wouldn’t let him pull me away. I was too worried about them.”
You hugged him tighter, still fixated on his micro-expressions.
“You know how Jin-hyung is, he’ll fight but then he’ll be the first to apologize…even if he doesn’t really understand why there was a fight in the first place. I mean, we all knew that it was because we lost you, but also…Hobi just…he wasn’t making any sense. He was angry, so angry. He ended up hitting Jin-hyung.”
You felt your eyes widen.
Tae finally looked at you, nodding slightly at your expression and then looking away at nothing again. “It got so quiet. Hobi-hyung had hit him in the face and Jin-hyung was on the floor. We all just stood there for…minutes. Jin-hyung didn’t try to get up, just holding his face where he had been hit, laying on the ground…” Tae shuddered. “Yoongi hyung was the first to move, going over and standing between Hobi and Jin. He didn’t say anything, just glared at Hoseok-hyung. Wouldn’t let him or Namjoon get close when they both started panicking and trying to see if Jin-hyung was okay. I went to him, and he finally got up. He pulled me to the fridge to grab an ice pack, then back to his room and we just…sat together. Listening to all of the crying in the house. I got angry at Hobi-hyung for hitting him, but Jin-hyung just shrugged. Said that Hobi didn’t mean it. That it was just because…because you were gone and none of us knew how to handle it.”
“I take it they made up,” You whispered.
He nodded. “Hoseokie-hyung hasn’t fully forgiven himself. He started going to his therapist regularly after talking with Jin-hyung that night. And we had our group discussion…but it was strange. Jin-hyung said he’d rather we blamed him than ourselves, because he could handle our wrath against him…but he couldn’t handle us hurting ourselves with that guilt. Yoongi hyung was so angry at that…told Jin to blame him if that’s what Jin wanted the rest of us to do. But Jin-hyung was so calm. All he said was that he didn’t blame himself, or any of our members.”
“Who did he blame?”
“I don’t know. He never would say, and we never could figure out who he was acting more coldly toward.”
You frowned slightly. “Maybe because it was someone he already acted coldly toward?”
“Maybe, but I still don’t know who that would be.”
You nodded slowly, a few ideas popping into your own head, but figuring it was better not to voice them. “What else happened?”
“Jiminie ran away,” Taehyung said, still sounding horrified from the event. Didn’t go home or anything. It’s dangerous for us, you know? And he’d been handling it so poorly that we panicked. We told the fans that he had gotten a cold and that the medicine made him hallucinate and he’d run away and they helped us find him. They were really nice about it too, they didn’t approach him or anything, even blocked a sassaeng fan. Jimin did end up sick, so it wasn’t a lie after that. Jimin wasn’t allowed to be alone after that. Namjoon stepped down from being the leader for a week—which was how long it took the rest of us to make him realize that none of us were equipped for that position. Jungkook got caught getting another tattoo and he pretty much was completely withdrawn. We were a mess.”
“No kidding,” You murmured. “And you?”
He chewed his lip. “I don’t know. I just felt so…helpless. But I guess I was the only one that Jin-hyung and Yoongi-hyung could keep a firm hold on. If I wasn’t with one, I was with the other. Even at night. Sometimes I spent the night with Jimin, if Jin-hyung was with one of the others while Yoongi-hyung was in the studio. Hobi hyung would sometimes let me cling to him at work if they weren’t around. I don’t know. It was all like a bad dream and if I could only grab hold of everyone the bad stuff would go away, but only a few people were letting my hold onto them.”
“My poor boys,” You whispered, grouping them together because you knew he didn’t want you saying poor him. “So hurt, so sad.”
“You were in the worst situation, though,” He whispered. “He hit you, y/n.”
You shrugged a little. “Only in the last two weeks.”
He grumbled unintelligibly, then seemed to remember something else. “Oh. Jungkookie also hit Jin-hyung. We didn’t hear about it until after, because we came home to find both of them holding ice-packs to injuries and Jungkook crying.”
You pushed yourself up to look at him in disbelief. “So…Jin hit him back?”
“Oh, they fought. Not for very long, but apparently they fought.”
You shook your head a bit. “Any other physical altercations?”
“Yoongi wrestling Jimin, but no one got hurt. I think Yoongi and Jin got into a couple fights behind closed doors.” Taehyung shivered and snuggled down into bed more. “It was a bad time.”
“No kidding,” You muttered, getting up and ignoring his whining. “I think I should talk to all of you in private. Between you and Jimin I’m very concerned and I just…I think I need to hear what happened from each of you.”
Taehyung bit his lip, but he nodded.
You ventured out, looking for who you could corner first.
Instead you were cornered by Jungkook.
You easily let him pick you up and carry you into his room, giggling softly at his jokes as he carried you in to keep him company while he finished getting ready for the night.
But you were pretty sure he knew why you were there.
“It wasn’t a big deal,” He said quietly. “Me hitting hyung. I was angry about something stupid and hyung was just trying to be there for me and we both misinterpreted what was happening and I hit him…and then…I was already so angry and it felt good to hit something and before I knew it I was swinging at him again. Then he was hitting back, but never trying to beat me, just trying to get me to snap out of it. I did, and he held onto me, and he went with me to the therapist the next day. It’s the only time it ever happened. We worked on redirecting my anger when it came up. I wasn’t nearly as bad as Jimin or Hobi-hyung. And Yoongi-hyung laid into me for fighting with Jinnie-hyung, but he backed off when Hyung talked to him. I think…even though Hobi-hyung and Jiminie-hyung reacted the worst…I think Jin-hyung and Yoongi-hyung had it the worst. They tried so hard to hold us all together. I’ve never seen Yoongi-hyung so actively desperate to bring us together as he was in those first few weeks. And…I don’t know. It definitely made me feel ashamed.”
You nodded slowly. “Anything else happen?”
Jungkook bit his lip.
“Jungkookie, I’m just trying to get a sense of what you all went through,” You told him softly.
He took a deep breath. “Namjoon-hyung. He spent too long in the studio and had to go to the hospital to get an I.V. because he was so dehydrated. And I think you already guessed that Jimin-hyung went off of food. We pretty much force-fed him meals, usually protein shakes were the most we could get him to consume willingly. He was just so…out of his mind with grief. He’d spent the first few nights you were gone researching what happened when a fairy was taken from the most loving home they had been in—not that he told us he did that until a couple months later when he was finally not acting crazy.”
You nodded again. “But you all took care of him. That’s the most important thing. You all took care of him.”
Jungkook’s eyes went to the sheet on his bed. “I should have helped more.”
“It’s over. You all made it. Maybe a little worse for wear, but you’re all alive and relatively healthy. That’s the most important.” You leaned in and kissed his nose because it was an adorable nose. And sure, maybe you wanted to be little and escape all of this sadness but you also figured there was plenty of time to be little in your future.
After you had finished talking with the boys.
Hoseok was the next you managed to corner, in Tae’s room since he was grabbing the boy’s pillow, and it must have been clear from your expression or the way you closed the door that you wanted to talk to him about something important because he definitely blanched and looked for a way to escape.
“Hobi,” You murmured pitifully, pouting. “Don’t tell me you’re already sick of me.”
He froze. “No, never, don’t even joke about that.”
“Then sit with me a moment?” You asked as softly as you could, talking as though to an animal that looked spooked, trying to calm him down back into your trust.
He was hesitant, maybe a little stiff, but he sat down on the end of the bed with you.
You took one of his hands in yours, just sort of feeling them. “I just wanted to find out, from you, what happened while I was gone. I’ve talked with some of the others…but I wanted to hear your story.”
He took a deep breath, his hand closing around one of yours and giving it a soft squeeze. “It was so quiet after you were gone, and I don’t think any of us knew what to do or say. Then Yoongi insisted on us being allowed to go home. Even after we got home…the silence was just unbearable and you…what was left of your presence was everywhere and I couldn’t stand that you weren’t there. I couldn’t believe they actually took you away from us. I wanted to cry but I just got angry. I got so angry. Because you were ours, a part of us, and you would forget us, but we would always, always remember. They were the ones who made us get you in the first place and then, after us being on board since the moment we met you, they made us let you go.”
You bit your lip.
“They made us let you go and…and if they had it their way we would never see you again and I couldn’t handle that. And I was so frustrated and heartbroken and Jin asked me if I wanted to eat and I…I really lost it. I’ve never been so terrified of myself.” He breathed in shakily. “I don’t know why I said those things. I don’t know why it was so important to me, it was just whether I felt like I could eat or not but at that time it felt like a complete judgement of my wellbeing. Whether I was okay or not and I wasn’t, and I argued with him. I argued and argued and Namjoon started arguing with both of us and I was just so frustrated and…I….” His voice cracked, and he looked away from you.
“You hit Jin,” You murmured.
He sobbed slightly and nodded. “I didn’t mean to. I would never hurt them. I hate fighting.”
“I know,” You whispered, wrapping your arms around him. “You’re our sunshine. And I know Jin forgave you. You were under a lot of stress.”
He just pressed his face into your shoulder, crying for a while.
You carded your fingers through his hair, trying to comfort him while he cried and work through it all.
He took a breath finally, barely moving so that he could keep talking. “It was just…really hard to care about work when it was the reason we lost you. When they’re the ones who took you away. I never thought I’d have a time where I questioned the fans’ affection for us but I did. And then the others were struggling so much and I didn’t know how to help. Normally we know how to help each other. We’re so used to it. Usually it would be easy to distract Jimin, or cheer up Jungkook. Normally I could get Jin-hyung to joke with me, or get Yoongi to crack a smile. But…we were also used to you being there for us.”
“It must have been a scary time.”
He nodded slowly. “I think Namjoon thought it was his fault that you were taken away. Like, if he was a better leader then you would have still been with us. He pretty much completely retreated into himself. I know Jin-hyung dragged him out of the house to see the therapist, but other than that he was either in his room or in the studio until about two months ago. That was when we all sort of…came back together.”
“What brought that about?” You asked, curious. It sounded like they were all hot-messes, so you weren’t really able to picture any of them coming together.
Hoseok frowned slightly, looking up at the ceiling. “I’m still not sure. I was in my room with Taehyungie and then Jimin came in and said the others were waiting in the living room. But Namjoon did the talking at first.”
You nodded, carefully wiping the tears from his face. “I love you.”
He gave a sob-laugh and carefully pecked your lips. “Love you too. I’m going to wash my face again.”
You laughed softly. “I don’t blame you. I have to go corner Namjoon.”
“Good luck.”
Namjoon was easy to corner, and he opened up even more easily. “I think we were all blaming ourselves, and sometimes even blaming ourselves for loving you. It’d almost be like if we lost one of the members, we’d all go mad.”
You nodded. “And you spent a lot of time blaming yourself. Also you decided to throw yourself into your work and ended up making a hospital visit.”
He winced a little, rubbing his neck and giving you a sheepish smile. “Not my finest moment. Actually, there were a lot of moments like that after you were taken away.”
“Tae said you tried to step down from being leader.”
He groaned. “It was a nightmare. The members and Bang PD-nim all cornered me after a week and basically told me no, then showed me everything that they did wrong without me. I was fixing it for weeks.”
You laughed softly, sympathetic even if you didn’t completely know what went into it all. “You know they probably gave them extra things to mess up on purpose?”
He nodded. “It did occur to me that that might have been the case. I appreciate that they appreciate me.”
“Anything else happen that you want to tell me about?”
“Yoongi and Jin…I think they’re the only reason we didn’t completely fall apart. And I know I didn’t make it easy for them. Honestly, I think the only one who made it easy was Taehyung. I felt bad when I saw how much Tae was struggling and we had a small fight. I don’t even know that he would call it a fight, but Tae asked to stay with me in the studio and I was insistent on not letting him. He was crying when he left. I think he was trying to reach me, bring me back in. I didn’t let him and I know that hurt him a little.”
You sighed, moving over and cupping his face in your hands. “Joonie. You came back. You continued on as their leader, and all of you are together, and you all found me. Sort of.”
“You definitely found us first,” He answered, pulling your hands off of his face and instead drawing you closer so that he could hug you. He then kissed you somewhat chastely. “You’re the remedy to cure all ills.”
“Definitely not,” You answered, laughing a little. “Namjoon…when you all came together again…what started that?”
He shrugged. “I mean, I technically started it. I was the one to talk about us once we were all gathered…but it was strange how we all gathered. I only know that Jimin got Hoseok and Taehyung. The rest of us seemed to be there intuitively.”
You nodded, a sneaking suspicion that Yoongi or Jin or both of them had somehow managed to coordinate that. You fluttered a bit to reach his lips and place another kiss on them. “Good talk. I’m going to go hunt down a Yoongi or Jin.”
He grinned. “Good luck, baby.”
Jin was easier, since he just finished shaving and was completely unaware of you about to stop him and ask about the time while you were away.
“It was a little rough, but nothing we couldn’t handle. Why?”
“Because all of the others, Yoongi aside because I haven’t talked with him yet, have given me some stories about what happened the first two months after I was taken. It sounds like you had it really rough. Between Hoseok, Jungkook, and possibly Yoongi hitting you and wrestling Jimin to keep him from searching the town like a madman and dragging Namjoon to the psychiatrist….”
Jin looked uncomfortable, which you expected. He didn’t like talking about unpleasant things. He didn’t like dwelling on the unfortunate, he’d rather be happy.
You waited silently for him to say anything.
“Hoseok would have hit anything at that moment, I just happened to be the closest thing to hit. And Jungkook…well…we both provoked that. And Yoongi…he…he didn’t hit me. Not…not like that. His was more like when you cry when your overwhelmed and you try to fight against it. Except he did it to try not to cry. He wanted me to blame him so badly because he blamed himself and I wouldn’t. I couldn’t. It wasn’t his fault and I wouldn’t blame him for it. Life happens. Just like burnt pancakes. All we can do is hope the next pancake doesn’t burn since we have more experience now.” He shrugged.
“You’re okay?” You asked, hugging him.
He nodded. “I’m more than okay, especially now that they’re all happy again. I know it’s still going to be a rough for a while because we’ve got stuff to work through, but the biggest problem is resolved and we have each other to get through things with.”
“You and Yoongi arranged the meeting where you all came back together,” You said firmly.
He smiled and nodded. “Took us a week to set that up. Tae and Jungkook were easy. Hoseok was also ready. Jimin was starting to calm down and listen. Namjoon was talking again. Yoongi and I just carefully planned for everyone to meet in the living room. We really only told Jungkook and Jimin to come to the living room, and with Jungkook it was more like a ‘come cuddle with me because hyung needs you right now’. Namjoon came in and just seemed to think we were waiting to call a meeting because Yoongi was telling Jungkook that someday we would all come back together and I guess the timing was just…perfect. Especially since I was the one to talk to Namjoon about the group coming back together.”
“Sly oldest boys,” You whispered happily, smiling. “They’re so lucky they had you two.”
He smiled back.
“But it must have been exhausting.”
He laughed a bit and nodded. “Yeah. Really exhausting. Yoongi and I would crash in the same bedroom at night sometimes just to complain about how tiresome trying to wrangle them were.”
You giggled, imagining both of them just grumbling until they fell asleep. “Know where Yoongi is?”
He shook his head. “No clue. But he might be in with the others already.”
You nodded. “Help me drag him out if he is?”
“Anything for you.”
Yoongi was in the room, looking confused at Jungkook who was blocking him. “I thought we were watching a movie?”
“After you talk to me, we are,” You replied before Jungkook could. “I don’t expect it to take too long. Seokjinnie’s didn’t.”
Jin stole a kiss for the use of the nickname and the cutesy voice.
Yoongi apprehensively took your outstretched hand and followed you back to his room, sitting with you.
“I just wanted to ask you about the first couple of months after I was taken away,” You said carefully. “Everyone had a bit of a rough time. Jin mentioned that you blamed yourself.”
Yoongi didn’t look at you. “If I had kept my mouth shut about you changing sizes—”
“Then they would have found out some other way,” You quickly cut him off. “That fansign wasn’t the first time they tried to get me in front of a crowd with you boys, it was just the first time they succeeded. Because I didn’t have a choice that time. And you’re one of the ones we get to thank for all of us being together again.”
Yoongi looked at you, meeting your gaze. “You’re…you’ve grown a lot this time.”
You wrinkled your nose. “I really haven’t, I’m just really worried about all of you. Even though most of the things to worry about have passed. I just…I want everyone to recover and know that everything that happened may have happened for a reason. To help you all grow, maybe, or…or maybe to help your fans see that it’s okay for you to have me. That I’m a part of all of you now.”
He laughed silently, then pulled you closer. “You can be small now, little wing. It’s okay. I think now that you’re here a lot of things will get better.”
You felt a little relief wash over you, and you shrunk to the size of a small child, letting him pick you up and carry you back toward the room. “You’re okay?”
“Yeah. Just…hold onto me a little longer,” He said with surprisingly frankness, but as quietly as he could.
So you held onto him tighter, letting him carry you to your designated spot on the bed and telling them you wouldn’t let go when they complained about wanted a spot next to you, and that they could have the spot after the movie.
There was still a lot left unsaid, but you didn’t feel like crying anymore. And if you did feel like crying, you didn’t have to hide your tears.
The bond between them was stronger than ever.
And no one would ever take you from them again.
You would always be loved, and you would always love them.
What more could a fairy ask for?
Previous
Masterlist  -  ot7 Masterpost
Tagging:  @alex–awesome–22, @bryvada, @missmoxxiesworld  @subzerobts     @forvever-ddaeng  @vividwoosan   @mischiefmakerliesmith5  @beach-bitch-bitch-beach  @minmeowmeowcuddles  @kpopfictrash @castlewolfsbane @scatkpoptrash  @knjhe  @i-dont-even-know-fck @soulphoenix1618 @kerikaaria @sea-nevermind-enthusiast @reinaxans @mcusuperfreak @londongirl2011​  
241 notes · View notes
Text
Gender? In THIS Economy?
Read here on AO3!
Summary:
Duke is questioning stuff and goes to Tim for advice. (feat. trans!Tim and nonbinary!Duke)
“Here you go. One Batburger with extra pickles, extra onions, and extra extra mayonnaise.” Duke drops the paper takeout bag unceremoniously into Tim’s lap. “Your taste buds need a tune-up, bro.”
Tim unwraps his burger and takes a bite. Batburger may be questionable when it comes to copyright laws, but damn if they don’t pile on the condiments better than any fast food restaurant in Gotham. “Sounds to me like you simply haven’t reached the sky-scraping level of enlightenment that I have, grasshopper.”
“Enlightenment would have been going to Red Robin and using your uniform to get a discount,” Duke says. He sits beside Tim on the rooftop’s edge, their legs dangling side by side a hundred feet above Gotham’s plunging gray streets. He digs into his own burger and makes a face. “Enlightenment would also be getting the Robin Nuggets next time. This tastes like dried leather.”
“I like it,” Tim says with a shrug. “It has personality.”
“So does raw sewage, but you don’t see me eating that.”
Tim concedes the point. His communicator buzzes in his belt. He checks the screen and discovers an alert from Cass composed entirely of clown emojis and red harlequin diamonds.
Duke notices. “Should we get that?”
Tim pockets the communicator. “Nah, Spoiler’s got it. We have time to relax.” And he’s not about to pass up quality time with the one little brother who doesn’t hate him. It’s hard enough as it is for Tim and Duke to find the time, what with them being on opposite sleeping schedules and work snatching their attention away with grabby, toddler-sized hands.
“Don’t get a lot of that during the day shift,” Duke says. “Every time an alarm goes off, it’s my business.”
Tim knocks him in the side with his elbow. “That’s what you get for turning to the light side instead of kicking it in the shadows with us. More employees to go around.” He sips his soda for a moment. “Why did you come out tonight, anyway? I thought you stayed in on weeknights.”
“Right. I actually wanted to talk to you about something.” Duke says it carefully, like he’s testing the waters. “I need advice.”
Tim has to admit that his chest puffs out a little at that. It’s not often people come to him for advice when Dick and Barbara are right there, all full of adult wisdom that Tim is too pitifully shrimpy to possess. “What’s up?”
“It’s kind of...personal.”
“Yes, Bruce does have special powder for suit-chafing. It’s in the cabinet under the first-aid supplies.”
“It’s not that,” Duke says, though he snorts in half-hearted laughter. He looks down at his hands like he’s dreading the words lodged in his throat. “What was it like, realizing you were a dude?”
One of Tim’s eyebrows shoots up. “Oh.”
“You don’t have to tell me if you don’t want to. It’s an invasive question.”
“No, no, it’s fine. You just caught me off guard, is all.” It’s not like this is the first time someone has asked. Tim used to be uncomfortable talking about it, but he’s grown up since then. Talking about his trans journey is as normal as talking about what he did yesterday. He eats a fry. “What do you want to know?”
Duke searches Tim’s face for a sign that he’s lying, that he should back off. When he doesn’t find one, he asks, “How old were you when you figured it out?”
Tim thinks back. “Nine, I think? But even before that, it’s not like I ever really felt like a girl. I knew there was something wrong, but I didn’t know what. When I first heard about what being transgender meant, everything I’d been feeling until then clicked into place.”
“What was it like?” Duke asks, “growing up the way you did? Presenting as a girl when you knew you weren’t?”
Tim shrugs. “I don’t know. It was life at the time. I dealt with it.”
“Was it hard? Pretending to be something you weren’t?”
Tim doesn’t know what answer Duke is looking for, or why he’s so interested, but he won’t ask. “My parents always had this idea of me being the perfect daughter, all obedient and graceful and crap. I’m pretty sure their hope was to eventually marry me off to the highest bidder so they could reap the business benefits.”
“That sounds awful.”
Tim shrugs again. “I didn’t start feeling any different than I should have until around six or seven. I was always a tomboy. I liked doing boy stuff and playing sports, but my parents thought it was a phase I would grow out of. They’d make me wear dresses and go to fancy parties with them, all the while I just wanted to claw my skin off and go home.”
He remembers the nights he would lie awake in bed, imagining what it must be like to have been born someone else. Anyone else. To grow up as a little boy who was allowed to run around, to get dirty, to be himself instead of following some arbitrary guidelines someone else drew up the day he was born. He imagined what it would feel like to answer to a different name than the one he’d been given, which grated on his ears the longer time went on, like an itchy sweater he couldn’t shed. It was hell.
He gives Duke a sly grin. “But the upside of having absent parents is that there aren’t as many people watching you. No one cared if I went to school in the boy’s uniform instead of the girl’s. No one was there to stop me from cutting my hair short the way I wanted it.”
Duke's eyes widen. “You cut your own hair?”
“It went exactly the way you’re thinking. I had to go to the barber the next day and have them fix it because it was so uneven. But by the end of the day, it was the way I always imagined it. I was finally starting to look like the person I wanted to be.”
Duke stares intently at the remains of his burger as if the universe’s answers to an unspoken question were written in sesame seeds. “Did it get better after that? Did you feel...at peace?”
“‘Course not. The world wasn’t magically fixed just because I took a step in the right direction. My problems didn’t go away.” When he says that, Duke looks almost...disappointed? “But,” Tim adds, “it was better than it was before. I still had to act for my parents and the rest of the world, but I didn’t have to hide from myself anymore.”
“How did your parents react when they found out?”
Tim grimaces. “They...didn’t take it well.” He can still hear his father’s voice in his memories, bringing up therapy and camps and whatever places he could think of that would “fix” his little girl.
“But, after a while,” Tim continues, “it was clear that I wasn’t going to change my mind anytime soon. I guess they figured it would be easier to go along with it than fight me every step of the way. They still didn’t like it, but they tolerated it.”
Duke is quiet.
“Why do you ask?” Tim prods.
Duke’s expression doesn’t give anything away. It’s nights like this when Tim can see how perfectly Duke fits into this mental institution they call a family. For all that Duke thrives in the light, he keeps his cards just as close to his chest as the rest of them. He gives Tim a half-smile. “Just wondering.”
“Okay.”
They fall into weighted silence, the scales tipping on either side of their post, but never settling. Tim waits. He finishes his burger and busies himself with reorganizing the pouches in his belt, giving Duke the privacy to think.
“I don’t know,” Duke starts after several minutes, “if I’m a boy.” He looks at Tim. “I think I might be something else.”
“Okay,” Tim says calmly. “What do you feel like?”
“I’m not sure. I’ve always felt different, y’know? When I was a kid, it was because I was smarter than everyone in my class. And it was fine, because I knew what it was and how it worked and why it was a good thing, being the smart one. It made sense. Time went on, the other kids started catching up, but that mismatched feeling never went away. I never felt right in my skin.”
Duke’s face rises to the dark clouds, the Batsignal shining from the top of the police station like a holy beacon. “Then I met Batman. My powers started to come in and everything clicked into place, all at once. That was why I never felt like I fit in with everyone else, because I was different. I had powers. That must have been it.”
“But it wasn’t,” Tim guesses.
Duke shakes his head. “I thought it would be. I mean, what else could it have been, you know? It should have explained why I never felt at home in my identity. But time goes on, I learn how to use my powers, and it fixes some of it, but not everything. There’s still part of me that looks in the mirror and sees something off. Some detail out of place.”
“Do you feel like a girl?” Tim ventures to ask.
Duke folds over the corner of his straw wrapper again and again in tiny triangles. “Nah, I doubt it. I like some feminine things, but I don’t think I’m a girl. Or a guy. I think...I might be nonbinary?”
Tim does his best to channel Bruce’s “supportive dad” energy and smiles. “Okay. What pronouns do you want to use?”
“They/them, maybe? For a while?”
“Duly noted.” He puts a hand on Duke’s shoulder. “I really do appreciate you telling me.”
Duke rubs the back of their neck, their cheeks flushing. “It feels good to say out loud. Not just in my head.”
“Do you think you’re going to tell anyone else? You don’t have to if you’re not ready, but our whole family will support you.”
“Yeah.” Duke picks at their nails, nodding absently. “I know they will. I’m not worried about that.”
“Then what are you worried about?”
Duke takes a deep breath in, and Tim is reminded of a balloon close to bursting. “My parents aren’t dead. I’m going to get them back. And when I do...what are they going to think when they wake up after half a decade and find out that their son isn’t their son anymore? What if they don’t like the person they see?”
Tim can’t say that he hadn’t swum with the same thoughts years ago, back when the person who is Tim Drake was still on the drawing board. But there’s a difference between his situation and Duke’s. “Your parents love you, Duke. They’re not going to stop loving you just because you’ve grown up since they last saw you.”
“What if it’s too much? The superpowers and the crime-fighting and the new gender...it’s a lot to take in.”
“Well, sure,” Tim says. “It might take some time for them to get used to it, but this is who you are. They’re going to love it just as much as they love the rest of you.”
Duke smiles, and if their eyes are a little misty, Tim pretends not to notice.
“Besides,” he says. “If I were you, I’d just lead with the superpowers thing. Anything after that sounds perfectly acceptable.”
114 notes · View notes
djmarinizelablog · 3 years
Note
Hello! It's me again, your fellow Katipunera. Thank you so much for actually doing a short of my request and omg tibak Hange is just so fitting! 🥺 I hope you actually turn it into a full-length fic eventually, I can just imagine Hange teaching Levi different constellations as they stargaze at the PAG-ASA observatory lol. Again, many thanks and stay safe always! 🌻
Felt some sort of motivation to continue this fic, and since it's @levihanweek, I wanted to write something in a college setting, so here we go:
Tumblr media
Day 1: School
(Read the first part here.)
He doesn’t know when it all started, how it happened. Hange draws him towards her by inviting him to more of these gatherings. The non-rallies. The post- or pre-processing for the protests. It’s informational, she says, something that classes could never teach them. And all he can do is listen and follow along.
They reserve a room on campus, one hidden from plain view, and Hange stands there in front in her plain black tee and baggy jeans, her flip flops a signature element to her outfit. A small crowd has gathered beforehand, waiting for what she has to say. Going up the small platform in the room, she balls her right hand into a fist in front of her audience, raises it up high, and begins her talk.
“The March for Science is a protest on behalf of the scientific and the marginalized community,” she says, reminding everyone that “no farmers, no food,” and “just the facts, bitches.” She elicits a few giggles from the younger audience, and that’s how Levi knows Hange’s got them hooked.
The people are intrigued by her speech, and there is a certain curiosity in their eyes with the way they burn bright. For Levi, politics was always something he didn't dare venture into and would rather leave things to his uncle who had a seat in the government. He wonders if there really is something worth fighting for in these kinds of issues. If there’s something worth standing up for. Or if it’s merely just Hange being Hange that sparks the interest of people.
When the meeting is over, he’s about to head for the exit, but Hange comes up to him. “What do you think?”
He shrugs his shoulders. “Could go a little bit softer with the dissent, but shit, you do you.”
Hange laughs, thinks it’s a joke. It’s only the two of them left in the room now. She puts her hands in her pockets. “Wanna have lunch with me?”
“Why?”
"I just feel like having some company right now. Besides, it’s National Resilience Day."
"I don't give a shit about the date," he says, making a mental note to remember that it is, indeed, National Resilience Day. He really doesn’t know how Hange has an inkling to know these kinds of obscure events. In the silence, his stomach betrays him with a gurgling sound, much to Hange’s amusement. “I guess I don’t mind grabbing something to eat.”
Truth be told he doesn’t like eating at the public cafeteria. It’s too open, too messy, and the busboys who collect the empty plates from the tables are terrible when it comes to waiting—last time he stayed there, Levi was still finishing up his meal when someone swiped his plate from him. Now he’d rather dine elsewhere. Perhaps in fancier restaurants that he can somehow afford with the weekly allowance that his uncle provides him.
But Hange doesn’t take him there.
She takes it a notch above his expectations when she brings him to the public food carts where vendors are selling street food of all kinds. Levi can hear the sizzling of fish balls getting deep-fried in a wok, the crackling of hot oil, the clinking of coins being exchanged in transaction. One of the vendors is basting the meat sticks in sweet sauce, flipping the skewers once in a while, the smell of barbeque wafting through the air.
“I go here ‘cause it’s cheap and it helps the small business owners,” Hange explains as she orders them the so-called combo meals. He offers to pay nevertheless, but Hange dismisses it, saying it’s her treat—for tagging him along to these talks. She continues to explain the plight of the vendors: “Some days they need assistance, so they allow students to take over the stalls and sell their food on behalf of them for a day or two.”
“What kind of students would do that? It’s disgusting to be under the heat of the sun all day.” He blurts out without really thinking, but thankfully, Hange’s not the slightest offended.
In fact, she seems to understand where he’s coming from. “One day, maybe you’ll see.”
When their meals are ready, Hange shoves one of the plates into his hands. He frowns. “You don’t eat cheese sticks?” she asks him.
“Never tried.”
“Oh, boy.” Hange smirks at him. “This will change your life.”
Instead of heading to the cafeteria, she proposes to take him someplace else. They’re sitting cross-legged on a bench in front of the academic oval, watching people run across the grassy field. Hange waves a hand at someone and Levi recognizes Moblit from their other class. He has never really done this before, just watching, observing from a distance. Except when he’s with her.
Hange takes another piece of cheese stick from the paper plate of instant stir-fry noodles. They’re running out of fish balls on the side. He likes what he’s had so far, even the sauce that goes along with their meals.
"So what are you taking?" Hange asks him while munching on her food.
He twirls his fork on the plate so he can scoop the remaining noodles. "Communications." Hange guffaws, and he’s offended. "What's so funny?"
Hange tries to compose herself and proceeds to dip her cheese stick into the honey mustard. "No, it's just that… for someone who's so awfully high-strung and silent and, uh, non politically-involved, you don't strike me as the type of person who would be… communicative."
Her conclusion does make sense. Most students studying Communication are lively, energetic, and talkative. Needless to say, he’s none of those.
"I don't imagine myself to be a reporter. I imagine myself writing articles for print. Editing. Proofreading. Stuff like that."
"I see.” She stares into the sunset, and Levi does the same. There are trees all around them, the honking of cars on the main road, the clamor of barkers and passengers alighting the public vehicles, the nuances of their campus life.
Somehow, it makes him feel safe.
Hange proceeds to tell him about how she likes to stargaze at night, because the constellations are so much clearer from this point of view in their university field. He has an inkling that it’s her way of inviting him to stargaze with him some other time. He already likes the idea a lot, but he feels like he still wants to get to know her even better.
“Why are you into all of this?” he can’t help but ask her. “What makes you think your anger can solve the nation's problems?”
It’s a very loaded question, one that really makes Hange think. She doesn’t speak for a while and proceeds to finish her food. He allows her the silence between them. Maybe he should have been a little bit nicer. A little less aggressive.
"Our very own Father President refuses to put medical science before politics. Everyone should be a supporter of science, you know? We all should listen to the scientists."
He scoffs. “Easy for you to say. It’s hard to believe what’s true and what isn’t nowadays.”
Their plates are now empty, and Levi takes hers so he can throw it in the nearest trash can. When he comes back, he sits beside her once again, this time, closer.
"I care about science and evidence-based policies, not the nonsense that politicians say,” Hange tells him while staring at the sunset. After a few seconds of silence, she faces him. “What about you?"
Levi finds the strength to hold her gaze. "I care about the untarnished truth."
36 notes · View notes
itwoodbeprefect · 3 years
Text
decided to just compile a bunch of comments about my sga 1x01 rising rewatch into a single post because i don’t actually want to make a hundred posts in a row, so here, under the cut, many rambles:
announcer guy does, in fact, speak english upon a second attempt. well done on not forgetting to not speak german, announcer guy.
“i’m afraid of the thing” elizabeth says, about the drone chair, while standing next to it and looking like she wants to fuck it
rodney in that orange sweater! very orange! very warm!
john is on screen. john’s first words are helicopters he knows how to fly. john KINDA LIKES IT in antarctica. john has barely done anything and i already feel like crying a little bit about this guy who LIKES ANTARCTICA because he just wants to fly
POOR CARSON when he almost kills two people. “ai told ya ai was the wrong pursohn” :(
i really love how john sees the drone coming at the (landed) helicopter and yells “get out!” and they throw open their doors and john JUMPS and then it’s just “ugh.” and he’s belly-down on the floor and still like, almost under the helicopter. an attempt was made, for sure. just not a very succesful one.
the way john looks around like he’s never seen a ceiling before when he enters the base is just. very funny. and then some guy in particular is looking at him because he’s a bit of a weirdo and john looks back and the guy sort of looks him up and down and john looks away as if to check if anybody saw that. hmm.
john’s face of “oops” after he sits down in the chair and it ACTIVATES and carson RUNS OFF to go get literally everyone and john is realizing he MAY have just made a very giant big mistake. PRICELESS
teyla: my people have long believed the wraith will come if we venture into the ancient city. sumner, when the wraith come after he ventures into the ancient city: [surprised pikachu face]
gotta love how john insisting on saving his people is what wakes up the wraith, and saving his people is also what landed john in antarctica in the first place because he tried it in afghanistan once before. which wouldn’t have happened if there hadn’t been an american war in afghanistan in the first place, which there wouldn’t have been if bush hadn’t thrown the us into it, which wouldn’t have happened without 9/11, so... bin laden woke the wraith?
on the other hand john would never have had to go on a rescue mission on his first day in pegasus if sumner hadn’t gone into that city against the wishes of the people that already lived there and had a history dating back thousands of years with the place, so more realistically, the expeditions’ colonizer mentality woke the wraith. and then they just kinda... kept going with that for the rest of the show, because it worked out so well on that first day.
anyway i’m not even there yet - puddlejumper! it jumps puddles!
have to love the moment john realizes the puddlejumper is pretty literally reading his mind and giving him anything he can think of that is within its power (so no turkey sandwiches, but that’s okay). john is already in love with it just based on the fact that IT CAN FLY AND GO FAST (“i kinda like it here”, restored) but then all the ancient technology just seems to know him and love him back and gives him way more than he even thinks to ask for. which, for john, who doesn’t really do well expressing desires? a FLYING SHIP that then READS HIS MIND? starstruck. love at first sight. john&puddlejumper, instant bffs. i bet it would have popped a compartment with some stray bits of wire if he’d asked for a friendship bracelet right then and there. ford sitting there witnessing this doesn’t even know how hard he’s thirdwheeling it in that moment.
now i am at the bit where sumner is taken from the wraith prison to see the actual wraith, and look, obviously they’re evil and feed on humans etc etc, but this particular wraith’s sense of dramatics? unparalleled. she has them bring her victims one by one to a large foggy room with a looong table set with a wonderful dinner and then she LEAVES a DEAD BODY sitting at the head of the table (implied to be the athosian that was taken before sumner?) and drops down from the ceiling while sumner has his back turned for no reason except the spectacle of it all, and dracula himself literally couldn’t have made a better display out of this. it’s maybe scary in the way that it makes clear she’s a cat toying with a helpless mouse before she eats it, but it’s also hilarious in the way that this is absolutely a very bored immortal being who had to stay up while the rest went to sleep and is inventing high school improv plays with her dinner for some diversion. don’t play with your food, wraith queen. you’re scaring your dinner.
life signs detector!!! ford didn’t get to name the puddlejumpers gateships, but that one stuck, no matter how much “we can name it later” john was trying to throw at it!!!
(god. there’s a ficlet somewhere in there about season 2 john having a moment where he realizes he’s on the hunt for ford using the thing they first discovered together and that ford gave its name.)
getting sidetracked here, but when john and ford find the group of humans caught by the wraith teyla goes “major!” and it makes me think that. well. how are the athosians supposed to know things like “major” and “colonel” are military ranks? what are the chances the pegasus galaxy uses the same designations? (don’t really know how the language thing works here - we’re hopefully not supposed to think they’re all speaking english, are they? i’ve never watched sg1, there’s probably lore about this, i assume. maybe alien titles somehow get perfect translations to earth ones and vice versa.) but i mean, teyla is too smart, she’d have it figured out already even if those words don’t exist in her galaxy, but some athosian somewhere is going to be very confused by this earth tendency to name way too many kids private and lieutenant, and then put all of them into the army. strange, to have your job decided for you at birth like that. earth people are weeeeird.
fjdkl john is like bye, gonna go find colonel sumner all on my own, run if you don’t hear from me in twenty minutes, and ford’s like “you’re the only one who can fly these people out of here” and “i’m saying i should be the one to go, sir” and john, with his savior can’t-leave-anyone-behind-gotta-do-this-personally-or-i-will-literally-die-from-not-almost-dying complex DOES NOT LISTEN to ford’s EXTREMELY ACCURATE objection. which is his right, as ranking officer, but is also a perfect showcase of why john Should Not Ever be in charge of atlantis, and why sam saying he was totally on the shortlist when she takes over command in s4 is funny but frightening if you’re on atlantis and like being alive.
sumner: “we travel through the stargate as peaceful explorers.” FDJKFD. god, that line, from that character, hilarious.
rodney comes to elizabeth full of enthusiasm about all the interesting stuff they’re finding in the city only to find her staring at the empty gate and when she says she should never have let them (the rescue party) go, he sobers up and says awkwardly “for what it’s worth, you made the right decision” and that’s GOOD that’s KIND.
back on the planet with the wraith everyone is running to the jumper while there are wraith darts whizzing through the air and teyla turns back, catches up with ford who was told to cover their six, disarms him (because he was firing at illusions, revealing their position), hands him back his weapon, pulls him in the direction of the puddlejumper, and PUSHES HIM ASIDE when they’re almost scooped up by a wraith dart, and i’m so here for teyla being allowed a moment of heroics that saves specifically ford, guy with a gun, and not a random athosian damsel in distress. teyla is fully on their level. teyla is perhaps above their level. thank you.
that scene at the end of this episode!! in which there’s a sort of party on atlantis and it’s all buzzing and relaxed while the athosians are mingling freely with the expedition members and they’re talking of friendship and ugh. UGH. there’s a better version of sga in an alternate universe where the expedition didn’t decide atlantis was totally theirs, actually, and they cooperate with the people that were already in the galaxy when they came there and learn from sumner’s mistake to actually respect what they have to say and form a single front and teyla takes over as head of the expedition in s4 when there’s a void left by elizabeth’s absence.
final thought that has always haunted me a little: john suddenly becoming the ranking military member on atlantis after sumner’s death is ?? one of those things where i wonder what the sgc was thinking in their personnel assignments. john wasn’t even supposed to BE THERE. if john hadn’t gone and sumner had still died (which was something they should have considered as a possiblitiy! they didn’t know what they were walking into at all! sumner is apparently the type to lead his own missions!), then what exactly would they have done? i don’t know much about how the us military operates but i’ve watched enough mash to have figured out the order of the ranks and it just seems. very odd to me? to take one (1) colonel on this mission and then ZERO lieutenant colonels OR majors (if john hadn’t stumbled his way into it, that is). like, are there any captains on atlantis? (i think there are?) or would ford, a lieutenant, have ended up ranking military member? this is like the surely-they-only-need-a-single-medical-doctor-right thing. WHAT IS THE SGC THINKING.
anyway. this was good. i liked this. i hadn’t rewatched the pilot in a while, and i only just now figured out how much of a while, because there was a bunch in here i didn’t remember. ON TO EPISODE TWO.
18 notes · View notes
elliotmateo · 3 years
Text
My Coming Out Letter
People- I finished my coming out letter! This has come after months of struggling and all, and I'm so, so happy that with this letter, I might have a way forward. I'll post it down here, so that you could maybe use parts of it, or just get inspiration from it for your own letters. I've talked to all the trans guys I know (a grand total of two) and now, all I have to do is give my parents the letter. Everything depends on their reactions.
Dear Dad, Querida Mama.
This letter is very difficult for me to write, but I feel that it is important for me to write it. There is something I have been carrying inside of myself for some time now, and I now feel ready to come to you with it.
A few nights ago, you said that you would love me no matter what. That doesn’t mean support me, and I’m aware of that, but this is who I am, and as much as I wish I could, I can’t change that. I am starting this letter on the third of May, 2021, and I hope to give it to you within the next month. It’s something that I expect to come as not so much a shock, but something that will be difficult for you to understand, and that is okay. That is warranted. I don’t expect you to parade around being happy about it, but I can only ask that you try and understand me, and help me, and most of all, venture forward with an open mind, because the truth is that I need you. You are my parents. I love you.
We should start at the beginning. Roughly a year ago, I made a promise to myself. Even then I knew, but I didn’t want to admit it, I wanted to pretend that my problems weren’t there, I was in denial. I have my faults, but I’ve always been someone you could be proud of, someone you love, and as much as I know that that will always remain, I was and am scared that this will somehow change that. Amidst all that confusion and distress, I made myself a promise, that I will keep. I promised that before the 4th of May 2021 (May the fourth be with you and all), I would start this letter, but only if I was 100% sure. I have arrived at that point, where I know who I am and who I want to be, and I also can’t stay like this, because, simply put, I am in pain. This is the part that I try my best to help you understand what it is to go to school, to live every day. That sounds almost comical. I live in Switzerland. I go to an international school. If I am sick, I can get medical care. I am privileged, and I know that this year, a lot of kids like me writing a similar letter to their parents run the risk of being kicked out, being abused, being killed, even. Those are extreme cases, but I am lucky, and I feel privileged that I am able to share this with you and entertain seemingly realistic thoughts of a future ahead of now, so let me explain.
I might as well come right out with it. I am not a girl. In my head, it’s so plainly obvious to me, and I feel like I’ve never thought of myself as a girl. Looking back at my decisions, it seems like a lot was done to make other people happy, instead of myself. I am not blaming you for occasionally trying to make me wear dresses and other feminine garb, for keeping my hair long, etc. You did what you thought you should do, I assume, and there’s nothing wrong with that. I’ve never really suffered from (in my memory) more than mild discomfort at my appearance, but that really started to worsen as I grew older, eleven, twelve, and now thirteen, when I started to develop more female characteristics, and that’s when this really snowballed. I felt uncomfortable, but I never knew why. I tried to do more feminine things, to pierce my ears, to braid my hair, thinking that I just wanted to be more like the other girls in my class and that I’d soon grow out of it, but that didn’t happen. It got worse. This is around a year ago, when I knew something was off, and now I’ve arrived at the point where I need to do something. I feel like my own life isn’t mine, like every award and accolade, every friend, every teacher I have, know me as someone that I’m not. I feel like it’s getting worse every day, and I struggle to want to start the day and get to school. The clearest way I can describe it is like I’m in a deep well, and above me there’s a ladder that can pull me out, but I can’t reach it. With this letter, I am trying to grasp that first rung, to be able to pull myself up. I hate my appearance, my body, my voice, my height, everything about me that is moderately feminine, and sometimes, it’s really dumb stuff such as my shadow or my clothes fitting wrong. I feel wrong. As I said, it’s been like this for quite some time now, and every day it gets harder to live with myself while having this massive problem hanging over my head. People call me *deadname*, girl, daughter, sister, even *nickname* now hurts to hear. I know it’s hard to understand, but, even I know that it’s not their fault, that they’re not doing it to hurt me, I genuinely find it hard to respond. I hate it. The black and white of it is that I feel male. I see myself as male, but I don’t look male. I am male. I’m transgender.
I know this may be a bit difficult to understand at first, and it may be very new to you, but it is something I have known for some time. I trust you with this information about who I am, and I would like if in return that you start calling me by my chosen name, which is Asher, and using my pronouns, which are he/him, for example: This is my son Asher. He has an unhealthy obsession with chairs!
I plan to come out at school, and my family. I’ve already spoken to another trans man in year 13 who’s graduating this year. His name is Sebastian*, and he came out around the same age I will, and he’s helped me with who to talk to and what they can do. With your consent, I can change my name and email in the system, and depending on the situation and my comfort level, use the male bathrooms. I’d also like to get a masculine haircut, and I’ll start dressing in a way that I feel comfortable in, i.e in male clothing. This is to help me feel more at home in my body as well as the world, and it’s a feeling I hope that you can understand. Regarding the family part, we can talk about the best way to do that and when.
I’m still your child, with the same likes and dislikes – I’ll just be living more authentically as the true me. And I know that you may have some slip-ups calling me *deadname* or using she/her at first, and that is okay. I would just like to know that you are trying your best to learn, understand, and support me. If you do slip up, you don’t have to make a big deal out of it. Correcting yourself is enough for me to see that you care about and respect who I am.
I know you’ve known me all my life as *deadname*. As your daughter. I know that when I was a baby, you were so happy you were having a baby girl. I haven’t changed. I’m still the same person, and I hope that you can begin to see me as your son.
I love you so very much, and I hope that I can have your support throughout my life.
All my love,
Your Son, Asher
*fake name
37 notes · View notes
genaleah · 3 years
Text
ANSWERING WILDCARD QUESTIONS
For the first time in about a year maybe??? Some of these might be even older than that.
Tumblr media
Yes, it is Korka! I definitely want her involved, she’s a wonderful character and there is a *lot* of fun paranormal stuff going on in this setting that she can help them research. Also, I’d just love for her and Nelson to become friends!
Tumblr media
Thank you! I love him a lot, and it’s fun to picture him interacting with the other guys. They’d all make for some interesting uncle figures, but they might not be that great in terms of role models.
Tumblr media
OHOHO. Devilish laugh. That’s a wonderful idea, and a good way to keep him occupied at some point. He’s a great character, but he’s incredibly powerful, and I want these dudes to solve their own problems whenever possible. 
Tumblr media
A good question! I don’t remember most of my dreams, but there’s usually a consistent look to the vivid ones. Lots of water, mountains, creeks, and high, winding roads. There are also a lot of buildings that are closely integrated with nature, even though I have almost never seen construction like that. 
Tumblr media
I had not, but now I have! Here’s a trailer, for anyone else that missed it:
https://youtu.be/33HXHaaagsw
I really like these new models! I’m looking forward to watching a playthrough when that’s available. Just like with Rhombus of Ruin, I don’t think I’ll be able to play this one myself.
Tumblr media
DOUBLE FINE, I WISH TO SPEAK WITH YOU- no, I’m kidding! I think great minds think alike. But I’m really excited to learn more about that character and possibly involve them in this whole au eventually. 
I’ve actually tried to avoid almost any info about Psychonauts 2 so I can go in mostly-blind, and a lot of the characters are vague to me. It’s fun to look forward to, but it’s also a little harrowing because I don’t know how to anticipate for it!
Tumblr media
N...NO..... I NEED TO... Honestly those are old enough that it might be a good idea for me to re-make them, as well as the playing cards I made for the mega playlist cover. I think it’d be nice to remake them as vectors... that might make for a nice art stream sometime. I’ll mention publicly if I start doing that, and sharing any of these conceptual Wildcards arts when they’re done. 
And if you’re just curious about what the tarot cards for the other characters are going to be, it’s this:
Eddie: Judgement, The Magician, The Emperor
Manny: Death, Justice, The World
Sam: The Chariot, The Tower, Strength
Max: The Devil, Wheel of Fortune, Joker
Although! I may actually give the Moon card to Max instead of the Devil, and replace the missing card from Nelson’s selection with the High Priestess?  🤔  I’ll decide when I get to it.
Tumblr media
Could be! I’ve flip-flopped occasionally on if I want the split-a-cab gang to participate much in the story. I think they deserve a break, and splitting an apartment in New York seems like a good situation for the four of them.
Tumblr media
Oh boy, that must be so disorienting for him. The Psychonauts deal with a lot of hippy-dippy weirdness in a seemingly organized way, but it seems like they’re not as paranoid about safety as a real federal organization would be. Not necessarily a good thing, considering one of their camp counselors went AWOL one day, and the head of the Psychonauts got kidnapped the next. They kinda need to get their act together.
Fun fact, in one of the earlier drafts of Chapter 3 I was actually going to make Nelson get scanned by the equivalent of a metal-detector for malevolent thoughts at the door and get really spooked by it, but I decided against it.
Tumblr media
YEAH IT’S ON THE LIST
Honestly, a big bulk of the plot in this just regards characters having to face their mental health struggles... via facing it as literal internal demons, unstable powers, etc.  It’s going to take a little while for any of Eddie’s teammates to realize how MUCH he has going on under the surface because he does a pretty good job of hiding it. “Needing to help others above ever helping themselves” is a hard issue to notice if you’re not looking for it. But it’s a guarantee that once they find out he needs help, they’ll give it; whether that’s making sure he’s not working himself too hard, or fighting off demonic cultists. Care comes in many forms.
Tumblr media
SHE NEEDS TO REST.... POOR SYBIL (on the upside, they don’t TECHNICALLY work there, so she might be fine most of the time.)
Tumblr media
Strong Bad isn’t a Psychonaut! He’s just a vlogger and a petty (psychic) criminal. It’s honestly not very different from canon.
Free Country, USA is a smalltown hotbed of psychic activity. Nearly everyone there has some mild capacity for supernatural powers, but nobody really notices or cares. Strong Bad just pops the tops off of cold ones and.... sometimes alters reality, a tiny bit. But mostly just in regards to media. The cartoons, comics, etc, that he invents and talks about have a tendency to suddenly voip into existence and nobody knows how. I swear, there’s actually a line of him saying something to this effect, but I can’t find it anywhere.  Don’t worry about it! Nobody in town is ever going to do anything truly nefarious with their powers, so it’s not a high priority on the Psychonauts’ radar, just a weird footnote.
The only reason Homestar is an actual agent is because he seems like exactly the kind of guy to sign up for a job like that on accident and then stick with it. And he’s a talented telekinetic! None of his other friends know about his job or notice his absences.
And just for fun, here’s some weird instances of psychic overpowering that happened in the cartoon:
Tumblr media
---
Tumblr media
(Poor Strong Sad)
Tumblr media
I’ve actually answered this one before! BAM  Pretty sure all of it is still accurate.
Tumblr media
Nelson: He sees floating sheets of paper containing notes, questions, etc. Anything that he wants to know more about regarding that person. The notes are subject to edits, cross-outs, ripped pages, etc.
Guybrush: He sees the item that the person is carrying that he wants most. As he gets to know people better, he sees them for their useful skills first.
Manny: His view of most living people is not very kind...
Tumblr media
The people he’s closest to will eventually look a lot less garish. More like a flattering, camera-ready versions of themselves.
Eddie: Sickass sketch drawings that look like they belong in the margins of a composition book. The illustrations improve as he gets a better picture of where they’d fit in the internal lore of his mental world.
Sam: A lot like Nelson; Sam pictures case files, though his are a bit more in-depth.
Max: Max’s visions of people are highly personal and uncomfortable for those who witness them. He sees Nelson as a puzzle with a piece missing. Guybrush is a ripped up voodoo doll. Manny is a forgotten ofrenda. Eddie is a powder keg with a long, lit fuse. Sam is Sam, but he’s the wrong one.
I also got two questions that were pretty big subjects, or that I didn’t want to repeat, so I’m gonna cover them pretty broadly:
REGARDING [X] CHARACTER OR SERIES INCLUDED IN THE AU
Sure, I support it! I’ve gotten this question a few times in regards to things that I haven’t had time to delve into yet, or I’m not interested in, so I’m not going to include it into the AU myself. But if you want to explore an idea like that, feel free! This AU is pretty dang collaborative.
My main focus is just on the main 6 properties: Psychonauts, Puzzle Agent, Monkey Island, Grim Fandango, Brutal Legend, and Sam & Max.
But my general rule of thumb for “characters that exist somewhere within the background of this story” are any other properties owned by Telltale, Lucasarts, or Double Fine. And considering all of the licensed games that Telltale was getting into before it kicked the bucket, that includes some really weird characters, even up to the Venture Bros. I loved that series, but I’m not really interested in doing anything with them for this story! Partly for my sanity, the canon I’ve picked are already a lot of content to play with. 
ASSORTED QUESTIONS ABOUT THE WILDCARD AU DISCORD
There’s no particular criteria needed to join the discord, and it’s not strictly on a need-to-know basis! Because it’s been a long while since anyone has joined, I've been hesitant about adding new people in... But I‘ve decided to try sending invitations again! Everyone who had asked about it in the past will be getting a ping by me in about a day or so, since I want to double-check if you’re still interested. If you’ve been nervous to ask you can reply to this post or message me privately.
Some things to keep in mind before asking or accepting the invite:
If you’re not a friend or a follower I recognize, I will likely double-check your tumblr along with some other current members before sending the invite. 
Here’s the Rules page, so you know what to expect before you join: 
Be Mindful - Respect other people's boundaries, don't do or say things that would cross the line. If your behavior makes other people feel uncomfortable or unsafe, I will remove you from the chat. In most cases I will try to resolve things with you and offer a chance to do better, but that will depend on the severity of the situation. And if you have any concerns regarding another member of the chat, you can contact me privately.
Health Boundaries - While discussions of mental health do occasionally pop up, do not rely on the chat for help. None of us are equipped to handle serious mental health concerns, and it will only cause distress for everyone. Please seek real help if it is needed! If you rely on people beyond the point that they have asked you to stop, I will remove you from the chat.
NSFW - Generally speaking, try to keep NSFW talk to a minimum. Swearing and humor is fine, but don't get too explicit please! Discussions should usually keep to a PG-13 / occasional R, but no NC-17.
Spoilers & Censorship - Please use the spoiler function to hide story spoilers, as well as discussions and graphic depictions of gore/excessive blood/body horror/severe psychological horror. Include a content warning so that people know what they could potentially be seeing when they click on the censored content. If the spoilered content is the subject of a back-and-forth discussion, please use another warning when you are switching to a different spoilered topic. (Note that these rules were added to the chat later, so be careful when using the search function or back reading.)
The canon series involved with the Wildcard AU are Psychonauts, Puzzle Agent, Monkey Island, Grim Fandango, Brutal Legend, and Sam & Max. Please be mindful of story spoilers!
Channel Organization - Also be mindful of which channel you're in and move a discussion over if need be! That way they don't get too clogged with unrelated info.
Creative Criticism - When it comes to writing, art, or character creation; try to be open to suggestions from others! Nearly all of the creative work in the chat is collaborative, so input from others is important! Creative criticism is not the same as judgement, and is not a personal attack.
Have fun! - Discussions move quickly in this chat! Don't feel bad if you ever need to step back, whether it's because of the speed or a disinterest in whatever current topic we're focusing on. If you ever want to come back, we're happy to have you and can give quick explanations if you feel out of the loop! :thumbsup:
We’re a group of approx. a half dozen to a dozen people, either posting very very quickly in a span of a few hours or barely anything for a few days. We’ve been in an activity uptick lately and there’s about a year and half of back content, too. If it’s hard to keep up on, not that interesting to read through, or you just have a hard time gelling with the group that's already there, there’s no shame in just lurking or dipping out if you need to.
We also talk a lot about Psychonauts OCs, so anticipate that.
31 notes · View notes