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aces-of-the-center-court · 4 years

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Hello, thank you for loving the reaction to ex scenario! Since it was our first attempt at scenario, we weren’t sure how well received it would be. But thankfully!! It was very loved. ╥﹏╥ Also, thank you for the request! I hope this would live up to the standard of the previous one. I had a hard time finding inspiration for this… (;´Д｀)

- Mod Raine reaction to ex with sakusa, atsumu & oikawa

Daichi Sawamura:

Hiking up the forested mountain, you made your way to the location for the children’s summer camp that you signed up to volunteer at. Upon arrival, you spotted numerous staff and volunteers scattered around, preparing materials. You approached the person-in-charge to offer your help and was assigned to the game team, where you were met with a familiar face.

“Y/N?”

“Daichi?” You both called out simultaneously.

“You two know each other? Perfect!” Said the person-in-charge, who then instructed, “Then I’ll put you both in charge of free play, okay? Help to brainstorm games that the kids can play during free play. Rest of the team, continue preparations for the treasure hunt.”

With a ‘Roger!’ from the team, the person-in-charge left before the two of you even opened your mouths to protest. Not that either of you would have anyway. You glanced at Daichi and let out an apologetic chuckle, “Let’s do this?” At his smile and nod, the two of you began to discuss and exchange ideas.

When the children arrived in their groups, you and Daichi were conveniently allocated to accompany the same group during their day activities. Paired together for several activities throughout the camp, you and Daichi quickly moved past the awkward stage and started interacting like before – constantly joking around, praising, and teasing one another. With natural chemistry between the two of you, getting along well with the kids earned the both of you a new nickname – ‘Parents Daichi and Y/N’ that promptly became a hot topic among the volunteers and children alike.

Soon, it was time for free play. The volunteers took turns being the tagger for ‘Red Light, Green Light’ and your time came shortly after.

“Green light,” You held on for a while, then concluded rapidly, “red light!” causing some to not be able to pause their actions in time, including Daichi who toppled over when he attempted to slide to a stop. Everyone turned their attention to Daichi and sneered at him for moving so obviously during Red Light, highlighting his movements to you.

Laughing at his misfortune, you gestured for him to come over, “Daichi, you’re caught!” With a small laugh, Daichi surrendered and jogged over. The instant he linked pinkies with you, echoes of bashful giggles and ‘oohs’ followed suit. “Did Daichi-san get caught on purpose to hold hands with Y/N-san?” mocked a cheeky child. Your face reddened while Daichi attempted to justify himself, but the children only continued chaffing him.

The teasing continued into dinner when Daichi gave you some of his potatoes (your favourite food) by habit, and into the next day when he shielded you from the water balloons during the water fight. “Daichi and Y/N are a couple!” soon became an ongoing buzz for the rest of the camp, with everyone pairing you two up repeatedly.

Time flew by quickly and before you realised, it was already the last night of the camp. At the thought of the camp ending, you couldn’t fall asleep. You decided to go for a walk, where you noticed Daichi sitting on the grass by the riverbank. After pondering for a moment, you strolled towards him, “Can I join you?”

Daichi looked up at the sound of your voice. With a soft gaze and warm smile, he set a handkerchief on the grass and motioned for you to sit.

“You know, I didn’t think you’d be here when I applied as a volunteer.” You spoke while settling down.

“Me neither,” Daichi replied and light-heartedly joked, “but I guess fate brought us together, even now.”

Sitting silently, the two of you reflected on your times together during the camp. It was filled with gleeful moments, almost as if time turned back to before your separation. The constant teasing only served to remind you two of those times.

“It’s about to end, huh?” You sighed.

Daichi nodded and asked, as if debriefing, “So, what’s your favourite part of the camp?”

“Probably free play!” You contemplated before answering, “Being in charge of it made me feel more emotionally attached.” then chuckled as you added, “Also, your fall was pretty hilarious.”

Daichi laughed as he recalled his fall. “It seems I fell for you again.” He joked to mask his embarrassment, then fell silent after realising his remark.

Your heart skipped a beat. In case he could hear your beating heart in the awkward silence, you quickly changed the topic, “What about you? What’s your favourite?” A moment of quiet later, Daichi declared, voice deep.

“…I enjoyed every moment with you.”

Surprised, you gaped at his direction. “Y/N,” Daichi voiced with resolve, “I really don’t wish for it to end like this.” He returned your gaze with sincerity.

“Will you give me another chance to be with you again?”

Kuroo Tetsurou:

“Boo!” A voice yelled as a tall figure jumped out abruptly from behind a wall, causing you to jolt in surprise. Rather annoyed and confused by the sudden jump scare, you snapped your head up to spot the face of the culprit. Your irritated expression morphed into one of bewilderment when the face of someone you did not expect came into view, “…Kuroo?”

Pairing a playful smirk with earnest eyes, he teased, “Missed me?” After taking a second to process the situation, you dropped your shoulders in resignation and sighed, “It’s been so long since we last saw each other, and you decide to pop out from nowhere like that?”

He chuckled and apologised, “My bad. I saw you at the mall earlier and wanted to talk to you… but I couldn’t resist the urge for a dramatic introduction.” You shook your head and asked, “So? What did you want to talk about?”

Upon his request to speak somewhere more private, the both of you decided on the benches at the nearby park. Strolling past an advertisement-filled bulletin board, you stopped in your tracks. Back then, the two of you often tried novel activities together, signing up for random classes that you both were new to, from advertisements like those on the bulletin board or online. You scanned the bulletin board, mentally noting the activities the two of you have participated in together before. Kuroo observed your scrutiny and began browsing the bulletin board too.

“Say, we’ve never signed up for couple yoga classes before, did we?” You questioned while peering at the poster. Kuroo followed your gaze to the yoga class poster, “Couple yoga classes?” He contemplated for a while before answering, “Don’t think so.”

As you reminisced the past, a wistful smile formed on your face. “Do you still remember first time we signed up for one of these classes? When we went kayaking?”

“And capsized because you were moving about too much? I don’t think I’ll ever forget that.” He teasingly grinned.

“Hey, it was my first time alright! Sports may not be my thing, but I also recall someone making a crooked vase in pottery class…” It was your turn to tease him. Embarrassed by the recollection of his failed flower vase, Kuroo cleared his throat and defended, “I guess everyone has their strengths and weaknesses…”

At his excuse, you could no longer hold your laughter back at how silly the both of you were being. Following your burst of laugh, Kuroo guffawed as well. Reflecting back on all the activities the two of you did reminded both of you of the times when you two were still together. Nostalgia overcame the two of you and the laughter died down slowly. The fond memories filled both of your minds and now, you both just wished things could go back to how it was before.

Kuroo took another glance at the yoga poster. “Build intimacy and trust while working out with your partner…” He read off the advertisement, “Sound interesting, doesn’t it? Maybe we should try it some time.” He casually suggested, eyes still glued to the poster.

Thinking it was a joke, you laughed and retorted, “Yeah, no. It’s exclusively for couples, see?” You pointed to the subtitles of the poster and continued, “I’m guessing the poses would be too intimate for non-couples. If we go together, they’re going to think we’re dating.”

Kuroo redirected his gaze from the poster to you and positioned himself to lean his back against the board, cocking his head to your direction. “Well, are you dating someone else right now?” He questioned as naturally as he could while attempting to hide the hopes he was holding onto. Averting his gaze, you hesitantly answered, “No… but still–”

“Then why not?”

You blinked before staring blankly at Kuroo, startled by his unexpected reply, “Wha–” But before you could respond, he cut you off again, “Shall we date again?”

You fell silent. Deep inside, you longed for it. You were dying to say ‘yes’ and return to the carefree days when the two of you were together. However, you were unsure if he was joking and did not want to get your hopes high for nothing.

“Stop messing around…” You managed to muster despite your wavering heart. Kuroo pushed himself off the wall and turned your body to face him, prompting you to look at him. “I’m not kidding.” He muttered, eyes softening slightly as he locked gaze with you. With a serious expression, he repeated, “Let’s date again, Y/N. That’s what I wanted to talk about.”

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moonamite · 3 years

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I connected the two dots

You know that song ‘Capsize’? That song I was obsessed with? I think about it a lot. I also think a lot about EveMarx. You know the part of the song that goes: “I just gotta Know... Are you-” “-Yeah, I’m fine.” Before I was a kid and I just thought the song sounded nice, but then I read the lyrics. Kid me didn’t think much of it, but now that i’m older... Wow. It hits hard. The guy knows she’s hurting, but she’s denying it. My dumb monkey brain decided to put my favorite song and my favorite creation together. And honestly? It kinda works. NSR!Marx is hurting not just emotionally, but mentally. And they don’t even notice. And when they do, they’re in denial. And NSR!Kirby had to save them from themself, and their insecurities.

#you didnt connect shit #i've connected them #NSR au #eve marx #kirby marx

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nicnacsnonsense · 5 years

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Moana “Script” Doctor

This is a continuation on my previous post musing on some of the flaws in Moana and how to fix them. First post can be found here.

Our movie still opens with Grandma telling the story of how Maui stole the heart of Te Fiti. The key difference in this version is it is understood and explicitly stated both that Maui stole the heart with the intention of it being for humanity, and that the darkness now spreading across the world because of Te Fiti’s missing heart is also why they settled on their island and stopped being voyagers. The village chief Tui, henceforth referred to as Dad, interrupts her story. Not because he disagrees with any of the facts she is presenting, but because she’s scaring the children. Grandma insists the kids are fine, they love stories about Maui, right Moana? Except whoops, Moana is gone.

Cut to Moana, cowering the bushes at the edge of the beach, having clearly been terrified by the story. She hears some cawing and looks over to see a little baby turtle wanting to get to the ocean, but in danger of being eaten by birds. Moana waffles for a minute, then grabs a leaf and uses it to escort the baby turtle to the ocean, despite clearly being afraid of the birds herself. She successfully gets the turtle back to the ocean and maybe waves goodbye to him. She stares at the ocean apprehensively, then looks down at her feet, where the waves are consistently stopping a few inches short of her. She slowly picks her foot up and is about to test it in the water, when a big waves comes up and knocks her down on her butt. Little Moana is not happy about this. She scrambles backward to get away from the water, and in doing so realizes the big wave also deposited something in her lap. She grabs it and looks at in with interest. Then we hear Dad calling her and she gets up and goes running back to him.

Next is the getting older montage, probably set to song. The big takeaways in this montage include Moana, though smart and athletic and capable, is kind of a scaredy cat and consequently lacks self-confidence in general; Dad is very protective and nurturing and understanding of Moana’s fears to a fault; and Grandma pushes Moana to help her grow, also to a fault. Moana’s afraid of the ocean, so Grandma is liable to pick her up and throw her into the deep water whereas Dad will let her avoid doing anything that has to do with going down to the beach. Also during this we should start to see the effects of the spreading darkness – blight on the crops, less fish in the ocean, and people getting sick.

Finally we get to Moana being the present day time of the movie, and the scene where no fish are caught anywhere on any side of the island. The night after this Moana goes back home to overhear Dad and Grandma arguing. Grandma is asserting Dad knows what needs to be done to fix the crisis and Dad is having none of it: she’s too young; she’s not ready. Grandma accuses him of being overprotective and Dad accuses her of pushing too hard. Grandma says the ocean gave Moana the heart of Te Fiti and chose her to restore the heart. At this point Moana freaks out and runs off. This is also probably where we would insert another song number, though obviously this Moana’s song would be pretty different from “How Far I’ll Go.”

After the song, Moana is sitting by herself when Sina, henceforth Mom, comes up and sits beside her, confirming Moana had heard the argument. She tells Moana Dad and Grandma both love her and want what’s best for her, even if they don’t agree on what that is. Moana pulls the heart out of her pendant and says it can’t actually be the heart, right? It’s just a pounamu stone that happened to wash up on the beach. Mom confirms she believes the stone is the heart of Te Fiti, but she’s more ambivalent as to whether the ocean chose Moana or if it was just a coincidence. She says regardless, and no matter what Moana decides to do, she has full faith in her and supports her, and she is just generally best mom.

Mom jokes that they ought to get back before Dad and Grandma kill each other, a joke that gets much less funny a few seconds later when they hear the conch shell and find out Grandma is actually dying. We’d see her coughing occasionally in earlier scenes and it appears she’s come down with the mysterious illness that is assumed to be caused by the darkness spreading due to Te Fiti missing her heart. When Moana makes it to Grandma’s bedside, she tries to use the heart to heal her, but it doesn’t work that way. Grandma instead chargers her with returning the heart, Moana says she can’t, and Grandma insists she can. She tells Moana she knows she’s hard on her sometimes and pushes her, but only because she knows Moana is braver inside than she knows.

Grandma dies, and Moana declares she will take the heart to Te Fiti. Dad protests at first, but Mom reminds him they agreed to let Moana grow at her own pace, and here she is, telling them she’s ready to grow. He reluctantly concedes and they go to the cave where the large canoes for open-seas voyages are. They aren’t hidden there per se, the interior cove just makes a good place to store them that’s out of the way and out of the weather. They get Moana situated on her boat, then Dad instructs her to wait while he gets one more thing. While he’s gone, Moana confesses to Mom she’s scared and Mom tells her that’s okay; this is a scary thing she’s about to do. The good news is they’ve got something that might help.

Cue Dad coming back with Maui’s fishhook. He explains to Moana that a thousand years ago when their people were looking for somewhere to stay while waiting for it to be safe to voyage again, they found this island with Maui’s hook washed up on the beach, which they took as a sign. Since then it’s been a sacred duty passed down from chief to chief to guard the hook and keep it safe until Maui returned for it. Now he’s passing that duty on to her: she must keep the hook safe and return it to Maui. Then she can ask him for his help in restoring the heart.

Moana is partially excited, because she’s a big fan of Maui. She’s heard all these stories about him and he’s always very daring and brave, which is something she, being meek and often frightened, looks up to him for. On the other hand she’s a bit nervous and overwhelmed at the thought of asking Maui, a demigod for his help. Mom tells her she ought to grab him by the ear and tell him “I am Moana of Motunui. You will board my boat, sail across the ocean, and restore the heart of Te Fiti.” Moana is vaguely horrified, but Mom laughs and says she was just kidding; Maui is the hero of men, if Moana asks for his help, he’s sure to agree.

We get a little of Moana sailing on calm seas, talking herself through what are clearly some rushed instructions on sailing Dad gave her before she set out (or she might be “talking” to Heihei. As he has no real impact on the plot, I won’t be including any mentions of him in this, but if you enjoy his silly chicken antics, please mentally insert him where appropriate). Then a storm rolls in and it becomes very apparent she really has no idea what she’s doing. Her boat capsizes and as a last ditch effort Moana pleads with the ocean to help her. Giant wave, and cut.

We open back up on Moana and her boat washed up on a beach. Moana figures out this is the island where Maui is, has a brief minor panic attack about what she’s going to say to him, suddenly he’s there, and she just blurts out “I am Moana of Motunui,” etc. etc. She is again horrified and quickly and clumsily tries to verbally backpedal until Maui laughs at her good-naturedly and asks if she wants to try that again. She explains, more politely and thoroughly why she’s here and asks for his help. Maui is visibly reluctant, but Moana doesn’t seem to notice. Before he can answer one way or the other, she exclaims she forgot something and scrambles back to her boat to pull Maui’s hook out of the inner compartment. Maui is overjoyed to have his hook back. He gives it a few practice swings then shapeshifts into a few different animals in rapid succession then back to his normal form. He laughs in a way that might seem like just a further expression of joy at the time, but in retrospect is clear awkward “I meant to do that” kind of laughter. He then agrees to join Moana and to help her restore Te Fiti’s heart.

They’re out at sea with Maui now steering the boat – he is the one who knows where they’re going after all – and Moana is fiddling with her necklace. She comes to a decision and opens it up to take out the heart and offer it to Maui, believing it will be safer in his care. Maui freaks out a little, what are you doing, put that thing away, before -= too late. The Kakamora attack.

Maui tells Moana to take over steering the boat and to do what she can to evade and get them away while he holds the Kakamora off. Moana reveals she doesn’t really know how to sail. Maui does some quick thinking, then declares fine, he’ll try to get them away and she should do whatever she can to keep the Kakamora off them. Moana doesn’t do a bad job of it, but unfortunately the Kakamora manage to steal the heart. Moana reports this to Maui and he asks if she thinks she can go over and take it back. At Moana’s flabbergasted response, Maui explains he has an idea to get them away from the Kakamora, but he can’t sail and fight the Kakamora at the same time, so does Moana think she can go steal the heart back? Moana’s answer is a resounding, “No. Yes. Yeas, I can do it.” As Maui notes, this is not an encouraging answer, but he’s going to trust her. Moana is successful in getting the heart back, despite being clearly terrified as she’s doing it, Maui uses a bit of tricky steering to get the Kakamora’s boats to collide into each other, and the two of them escape with the heart.

Moana immediately collapses to the floor of the boat, emotionally overwhelmed by what just happened. Maui pats on the back, a little awkwardly, and tells her she did it, it’s over, everything’s fine now. Once Moana has calmed down he asks her if she really doesn’t know how to sail. Moana says she only has a very basic knowledge that was imparted right before she set out; she never learned before because she’s afraid of the water. Maui looks around as though to confirm, yes, they are indeed surrounded by water. He offers to teach her how to wayfind. Moana is initially reluctant because Maui can do it, so they should be fine, right? Maui points out there may be more situations like what just happened in the future where it’ll be helpful where either of them can take over control of the boat, plus it might help her deal with her fear if she knows what she’s doing. Moana agrees and the scene ends with Maui starting to instruct her on some of the basics.

The next scene fades in with him instructing her on coming in and landing the boat on the beach of a new island. Conversation establishes it’s been a few days, and they’re stopping to top off their supplies. They split up to look for food and fresh water. We’re following Moana who’s found some good fruit that’s just out of reach and she’s so focused on getting it that she doesn’t notice the menacing rustling from behind her. Cut to Maui hearing her scream and running to save her. Cut back to Moana at the end of her scream. She’s been nabbed by Tamatoa. Tamatoa tells her to be quiet, she’s shocked he can talk, and he’s offended she would be shocked. Moana manages to pick up on his sense of self-importance and starts flattering him. It manages to distract him for a while, long enough that by the time he goes to eat her, Maui triumphantly enters the scene. Tamatoa is frightened to see Maui. Maui brandishes his hook with a look of desperate concentration and turns into a little fish. He tries a few more times with no more success. Tamatoa laughs at him and sets Moana down so he can go beat up on Maui as revenge for Maui cutting off his leg. Moana intervenes and manages to trick and incapacitate Tamatoa – Maybe tricking him into falling off a cliff? – and she and Maui run back to the boat.

Once they’re back out at sea Moana asks Maui about the hook not working. He confesses that he hasn’t been able to use it successfully since they got it back. Moana realizes she hasn’t seen him use it at all since he got it back, except the brief bout of rapid-fire changing right when she returned it. Maui confesses that was not what he was trying to do back then, and he’s since been hiding the fact he can’t use the hook from her. But it’s not working anymore, he’s useless. Moana says her family has been holding that hook in sacred trust for him for generations. Maui expression shows he is ready for her to really lay into him. Instead Moana follows her comment with, so of course you’re not going to be able to use it right away. You haven’t been able to practice with it for over a 1000 years. It’s going to take time to relearn how to use it, and Moana offers to help with that. Maui is completely baffled, Moana misunderstands why he is baffled and says that while she doesn’t know how to use a magic fish hook to shapeshift, sometimes it just helps to talk things through with someone, like when she talks through her wayfinding lessons with him, or back on her island she used to talk things through with her mom all the time when she was struggling with it. Maui accepts her help and after a few minutes of talking Moana suggests maybe he’s just overthinking the transformation when he’s supposed to let the magic flow naturally. He tries again with a noticeably calmer expression and manages to transform into a giant eagle for just long enough to briefly celebrate before involuntarily turning back to human. Moana is undeterred, seeing this as a huge success and says as all has he keeps at it and she keeps at her wayfinding they’ll both be pros in no time.

Another time skip and now Maui is telling Moana about some dangerous obstacle up ahead that will require some very skillful sailing and maneuvering of the boat. (I do not know enough about sailing or the geography of Polynesia to know what an appropriate tricky sailing thing could be and as the exact nature of it doesn’t matter, it shall jus be referred to as tricky sailing thing.) After he finishes explaining he tells Moana she’s going to do it as a final test of her new skills. Moana asks if she has to, and Maui says no, not if she doesn’t want to. Relieved at the pressure being off, Moana asks if Maui really thinks she can pull it off. Maui points out that obviously he does or he wouldn’t have suggested it and asks if she thinks she can do it. Moana’s answer is a hesitant but affirmative, “Yes, I can.”

So they begin with the tricky sailing thing, but as soon as they get started, a monster attacks. The exact nature of the monster will ultimately depend on the exact nature of the tricky sailing thing, but for now let’s go with a taniwha. (From Wikipedia: “In Māori mythology, taniwha are beings that live in deep pools in rivers, dark caves, or in the sea, especially in places with dangerous currents or deceptive breakers (giant waves). They may be considered highly respected kaitiaki (protective guardians) of people and places, or in some traditions as dangerous, predatory beings, which for example would kidnap women to have as wives… At sea, a taniwha often appears as a whale or as quite a large shark.”) Maui tells Moana she’s got this, then jumps off the boat and goes to do battle with the taniwha. Moana successfully navigates the tricky sailing thing, made even trickier by the fight going on and Maui successfully uses his shapeshifting abilities to fight off the taniwha. Once they are in the clear they celebrate their success and how awesome each other are.

Next we get an upbeat travel montage with a fun upbeat travel song. There should be scenes of Moana and Maui sailing on open water, stopping off on islands to get more supplies, fighting off more monsters, and maybe weathering a bad storm. Ultimately the montage should showcase that there are a lot of dangers lurking, but also how well Moana and Maui work as a team, and how big and beautiful the area really is.

After the montage we cut to our twilight scene. Moana is steering while Maui lying back, not quite napping. He looks over and notices Moana’s worried expression and asks her what’s wrong. She points out what must be really bad storm clouds blotting out the stars in the direction their heading. Maui looks and tells her those aren’t storm clouds; it’s soot. That’s Te Kā, meaning they should be to Te Fiti by tomorrow.

This unsurprisingly does not alleviate Moana’s worry and Maui tells her it’ll be fine and she’s probably the bravest person he’s ever met. Moana is rather incredulous and points out that she is scared all the time. Maui says not quite as much anymore, but yeah she is, is kind of amazing, but not as amazing as her still being here and having done all the things she has to get here and that’s what makes her so brave, way braver than Maui. Moana takes exception to the implication her childhood hero and new BFF might not be brave and starts pointing out all the brave things he’s done in the past, using his tattoos to illustrate her point. He clearly appreciates the admiration, but points out it was easy for him to act brave in those situations, because he’s Maui, Shapeshifter, Demigod of the Wind and Sea, Hero of Men, he doesn’t have any reason to be scared of monsters. He brandishes his fishhook for emphasis.

Moana hesitates, then touches the tattoo on his back. Maui tenses. She tells him this is the one Maui story she never liked, because it never made sense to her; why would anyone ever want to throw someone as amazing as Maui away. Maui says that was before the gods found him and gave him his fishhook and made him a demigod; his mother didn’t throw Maui away, just him. Moan says just you is Maui. Maui doesn’t believe it, so as proof she points back to all the tattoos of the things he’s done again, things he did all for humanity. Even though his human parent threw him away, he didn’t let that hurt define him; that’s what makes him brave. Very softly he says, “But I did.” Everything he’s done for humanity was with the hope if he could do something amazing enough, if he could just prove he was worthy, then maybe his family would take him back. He gives a self-depreciating chuckle and says he knows they were all mortal and are all long dead now, but in spite of that he keeps hoping…

Moan interrupts to say she will be his family. Her and her mom and dad and her whole island. They’ll all be his family if he wants. He doesn’t have to be alone. Moana is looking up at him all earnest and pure, and Maui laughs again, but happy this time. He tousles her hair and tells her “Alright, alright, you win.” Then he tells he’ll take over with the boat and she should get some sleep because they’ve got a big day tomorrow. She curls up on the boat and Maui looks down at her smiling fondly. The he looks up at the soot cloud and his grip on his hook tightens.

The next day they approach Te Kā and go over their general plan. They’ll split up as they approach Te Fiti, Maui getting in close to Te Kā to harry her while Moana sialing by on the boat hopefully serves as enough of a distraction to give Maui the upper hand. Once she lands on Te Fiti, Moana will hand off the heart to Maui, then hide while Maui uses his shapeshifting to get to the spiral where the heart goes as quickly as possible. They go in and Maui fights Te Kā while Moana searches for a way past the barrier islands. She finally manages to spot the gap, but she hadn’t been paying close enough attention while she was looking and Maui just barely manages to intercept Te Kā’s attack. Moana, Maui and the boat are blasted away by the impact.

Moana returns to consciousness and sees Maui sitting on the edge of the boat. She asks if he’s okay, and he turns, looking completely despondent and holding his cracked and burned hook. She asks if they can fix it, he says no, so she says they’ll be more careful next time. He says there won’t be a next time; Te Kā is too dangerous and if they try again, he’ll break his hook for good. Moana says he doesn’t need it, but Maui says he’s nothing without his hook. Moana says it’ll be okay, what happened was her fault for not paying attention and she won’t let it happen again. She can – Maui snaps, and yells at her no, she can’t.

This breaks Moana. She collapses to the floor, her head bowed and her hand holding her necklace. Maui looks very guilty and hesitantly approaches her. Moana mutters to herself, then repeats it again, louder. “I am Moana of Motunui. You will board my boat, sail sail across the ocean, and restore the heart of Te Fiti.” She has pulled the heart out of her necklace and holds it up to him. Maui is visibly torn and his expression suggests he’s about to change his mind and agree to try again. Right then his hook sparks, he looks at it, and the fear is back. He tells Moana he’s sorry, then transforms and flies away.

Moana scrambles after him, begging him not to leave. As she does, the heart comes out of her hand, bounces off the side of the boat, and sinks down in the ocean. Moana comes to a stop kneeling on the edge of the boat. She looks out over the ocean and asks it to please help her. Nothing appears to happen and she bows her head again in despair.

Then stingray Grandma comes through, and appears as ghost Grandma on her boat. Moan runs to her, and tells her she can’t do it; she’s sorry. Grandma says it’s her fault for asking too much of Moana, for always putting too much on Moana’s shoulders. She tells Moana if she’s ready to go home, then she will be with her.

Moana grabs her oar, but hesitates. Grandma asks why, then we go into the triumphant reprise of Moana’s earlier I Am song. The main theme of the song should be Moana admitting and accepting she’s afraid, but that doesn’t define her. It the experiences she’s had and the lessons she’s learned and the people she loves that makes her who she is. “I am Moana,” and she dives into the ocean to reclaim the heart. She fixes up her boat and sails back to Te Fiti saying, “I am Moana of Motunui. I will board my boat, sail sail across the ocean, and restore the heart of Te Fiti.”

Sher manages to get past Te Kā and through the gap in the barrier islands, showcasing some skill that we have previously seen her use, but once she’s in the inner lagoon, her boat capsizes. Te Kā attacks, but Maui swoops in just in time to save her. Moana is pleased to see him back and he says it was about time he tried being brave. She asks about his hook and he says he doesn’t need it, then winks and adds that Te Kā still has to catch him first. He tells her he’ll hold Te Kā off, so does she think she can go save the world. Moana confidently asserts “Yes, I can.” He flips the boat and fights Te Kā his hook shattering in the process.

Meanwhile Moana makes it to land, climbs the mountain and sees Te Fiti is no longer there. She realizes Te Kā is Te Fiti and holds the heart up to get Te Kā’s attention before heading back down to the water. She holds the heart in front of her and instructs the ocean to let Te Kā come to her. The ocean parts. Moana and Te Kā make their way toward each other. The main emotion on Moana’s face is compassion – she’s finally not scared anymore, but only because she feels so much empathy for the pain Te Kā/Te Fiti has suffered that it overwhelms any feeling of fear.

The heart and Te Fiti are restored. Te Fiti nonverbally thanks Moana. Maui apologizes for what he did and Te Fiti offers him a new hook. He tells her very genuinely he doesn’t need it anymore. Moana agrees he doesn’t need it, but think how many more people he could help with it, plus it would be rude to turn down a gift from a goddess. He tousles her hair and tells her she wins again. He takes the hook and is just as genuinely giddy to have it back. Te Fiti makes Moana a new boat to get home on, and Moana tells Maui he’s welcome to come. He tells her he has a lot of heroing to do, but she’ll see him around. If nothing else he’s got to make it to the next family get-together, right? Moana grins and promises to save him a seat. They hug. Happy ending montage with Moana going back to her island and teaching her people to be voyagers again. The End.

#Moana #Disney #Maui #meta #fanfiction

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foolscapper · 6 years

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Exploding Head Syndrome: A MCU Post-IW Fanfic | Ch. 4

(READ IN CHRONOLOGICAL ORDER.)

What happens when you pile a bunch of doctors into a medical wing with a catatonic spider-kid? A hell of a lot of things going on at once, it turns out. Bruce can't complain about it, because it at least keeps him focused on anything other than himself; life has been one big roller-coaster he hasn't been able to get off of since Ultron (no, wait, way before that), and all he wants is to sit in a lab and work on anything that isn't his own self-worth and mental capsizing. Two years killing aliens for sport as a gladiator will do that to you. Yeah, he still hasn't figured out how to work with this, so he just went ahead and put all that in a way-too-small box in his brain. Hooray for compartmentalizing. Back to work. Cho has already gently pulled a sample of Parker's tissue from one of his arms to study his particularly complex cell structure, as is her particularly crucial talent, and Strange has returned from his own collection of ancient texts, Wong hovering at his side to offer whatever knowledge he can in the ways of the soul — to which Bruce knows Tony's grateful, but he also is well-aware that the man is running on fumes by the third day of diagnostics. The genius had been animated with the news of Peter's return, and that scene outside is still fresh in his mind as he eyes the reports that have come back from MRI scans of Peter's brain. There's no damage, no signs of anything that would cause this kind of dramatic loss of self, which Bruce semi-expected with the way Dr. Strange had gone on about the potential effects of the stones on a kid like Peter. There are variables. It's possible someone did this to him — that he was targeted, that maybe Thanos did something specific in the snap that left Peter completely vulnerable to complications. That doesn't too much sense in the grand scope of things, but it surely the madman had some range of control over who stayed and who went. The thing is, Thanos was dead. This shouldn't be a complication. Should it?

Perhaps it's someone outside of Thanos. Someone from his roster, maybe. But that would also be an odd way to handle payback, especially when the Guardians and Strange were also at their mercy. Bruce didn't rule out the possibility that something from the planet itself might have effected Parker, especially when Titan may very well effect every one of them differently. Strange collected some of the dirt and debris carried over onto the Benatar, and from Peter and Drax's boots, but the results of the study yielded very little. "He's not completely human, that much is certain," Cho says, not unkindly. "If you look at the way his DNA is structured, it is much different than any string I would pull from myself or any normal boy off the street. But if there's a correlation with the way he's reacted to resurrecting, I have not found it yet." Bruce glances at Tony, biting his lip. "His brain scans are clean, too. I've sent everything to Shuri, though, just in case they can find something we don't. Which, you know, is a... pattern... lately..." Tony was up at all hours after the kid had been put to bed, compiling all manner of documents highlighting medical complications and disorders of the mind, and at this point Bruce is tempted to lock him out of the lab (though he's also more than aware he may also be punched in the teeth for it, and the last thing anyone needs is for Hulk to finally decide to pop back in)... Three whole days, though. It's not healthy, and yes, he's not the pinnacle of good mental health himself, but... He twiddles with a pen in his hands, once the two of them are alone (well, Peter is here, too... so they're alone enough). "Hey, we've got this. You're not gonna be any good to this kid if you're passing out mid-conversation." "We've got a bigger problem than that," Tony mumbles, rubbing at the exhaustion all over his face. They're both sitting at a counter near the lounge chairs; why aren't they sitting on the lounge chairs? Bruce is seeing a missed opportunity for comfort here. Peter has the right idea.

Tony adds, "... He hasn't eaten anything."

And okay, that is a pretty important thing to bring up. He'd been putting it off in the hopes they'd find something sooner, to avoid what he figured might have to be done. But even with practically living in the lab with this unresponsive kid, they're no closer to closing in on what's making him tick — or not tick, in this case — and resources are waning. Bruce bites his lip, not happy with what he'll have to say. "He's going to need a temporary feeding tube of some kind, soon. Until we can get any kind of result." "Oh, god." And Bruce sees in his friend's eyes, the slow unraveling that comes with helplessness. He wishes there was something he could say that was any more calming, but the fact of the matter is that Peter is his patient for the meanwhile, and he has to say exactly what's in the kid's best interest, whether it's emotionally draining or not. He's tired, they're all tired, Peter's probably hungry, and nobody wins in this situation. "He's not a typical case, either. His metabolism is too high to do anything different, Tony, I'm sorry. He's already losing way too much weight for just being a few days back, and IV drips are only gonna get us so far. Even if he's not mentally there right now, it's not humane to—" Tony's fist is a sharp, echoing sound against the metal table under his arm. "I know, alright? I know!" A silence falls over them where they sit, and Peter — as always — only blinks and breathes where he sits nearby. It must be so much, to watch someone you love look like this for so long. Too long. Every glance in the boy's direction is a reminder of just how powerless they can all be, despite their collective minds, their hours and hours of best efforts. Bruce leans back, almost affronted by the simmering heat in Tony's rounded shoulders, tapping his pen to his teeth a few times before he says with a raised brow, "... Are you gonna hulk out on me? Do I need to get the armor out?" It works enough to tame the beast. And maybe even earn a hidden, miserable smile as Tony's face descends into shadow behind his fists. "Ha, ha. Very funny." More softly, Bruce replies, "... It won't be a big deal. It's an hour-long surgery at most, and it's extremely noninvasive and basic, and Cho can do it in her sleep. It's just a little button, practically — you won't even notice anything's any different, and he'll be all the more healthy for it, right? It's for Peter's well-being." Tony cards a hand through his hair, looking at Peter, who is sitting as compliantly as the day he'd been walked in. "... You're a fucking pain in the ass, Pete," he says. It's a strained response, and Bruce reaches out to cup one of Tony's shoulders. His doctoring isn't just limited to Peter, and he can see just how drained Tony is; he wears the bags under his eyes like a fashion accessory, and while that's usually all fine and good and expected of someone like him, enough is enough. He can't watch his friend self-combust in front of him."And you need to rest. I'm serious, man. Do you think he wants you to overwork yourself to death here?" "He doesn't want anything right now, because nobody's at the door, Bruce. And I don't know what to do." "Right now? Sleeping is what you do. You're no good to him if you're not at your best." A pause. "I'm getting Pepper." He stands, and Tony looks after him helplessly. "No, hey — goddammit."

Stephen has met few as stubborn as Tony Stark, but he supposes that's one reason the earth had ultimately been in the best of hands, against Thanos and his unruly power. It takes a few arguments and a hell of a lot of coaxing and an unfair advantage of using a two year old baby, but eventually Tony relents with Bruce and Stephen's promise that they won't do anything until Tony can decide how to approach May Parker about this (this poor woman doesn't even know, she has no clue, and how are they going to explain to this poor woman that her adoptive son is here but not here at all?). Tony also adds an addendum, that he has to be present for every goddamn moment of any surgery involved here no matter how small, 'so help me god'. It's a fair request, one that Stephen gives his word to honor. He consults with Cho and Bruce, and they're in agreement: a percutaneous endoscopic gastrostomy, however temporary it is, is imperative for their patient. It would have never been something he would have cared about, in his professional career. He would have not given Peter Parker a second glance in the hospital, would have passed him off to someone else like he had been the most minor of roadblocks. A thoughtful silence falls over them as Dr. Cho talks about their short-term gameplan. Strange admittedly has a lot he should be doing; the Time Stone is back in its rightful place, and the whole world is reeling from the events of the last few years. He'd only given himself enough time to comb through old records at the Sanctum and remind Christine, rather lamely, that he's back from the dead. She had nearly strangled him in her embrace, but it was a soft moment he wouldn't trade for anything. "... I'll oversee the surgery as well," he finally speaks, glancing back at Peter. He's been there for every step of the conversation, and part of him hopes that a teenager hearing the word 'surgery' applied to them will make them suddenly spring to life with anxiety, like a kid realizing he's on his way to a dentist. Nothing of the sort happens, but even Stephen is not allergic to hopeful optimism. "I can promise you, he'll be in safe hands," Cho says worriedly, but he shakes his head with a raised hand. "It's not that. I trust you to be knowledgeable; you're a credit to your field. I just want to know for myself as well, that everything goes exactly as expected." If he can't take an hour out of his day to look out for a teammate, then he doesn't deserve to wear the cloak. "We'd love to have you," Bruce says, then smiles a little. "Are you, uh. Close with Peter?" He considers it for a moment, and only a moment, fleeting. For some reason, most of that moment comprises of memories, of one Peter Parker excitedly rambling at him about magic and floating cloaks for an hour prior to crash landing. He huffs a breath, almost a laugh. "Not particularly, to be honest. I'd only met him on an alien spaceship a day before we all were killed. But — his involvement in our timeline can't be overstated. And... the kid did save my life. And helped me avoid a great deal of torment. So I suppose he's a temporary... ward, of sorts. I'm indebted to him. What about you?" "This is the first time I've met him, actually. But... he means a lot to Tony. And..." The doctor grows quiet for a moment with folded, contemplative arms, and Cho and Stephen give him a moment to continue. "And — I know what it's like." Strange cocks his head. Bruce sighs through his nose, eyes darkening with discontentment. A storm of ugly memories, all kept under lock and key; Stephen knows about the Hulk, of course, but he can hardly imagine the sorts of horror shows only Bruce banner is privy to. The man says, "I know what it's like, to be trapped in your own body. Maybe he's not, not exactly, and nothing like how I've been before, but... either way, he deserves to have it back." That's all that needs to be said. Stephen rises to leave after some time and a couple of warm drinks, hearing Bruce speaking effortlessly to Peter from around the corner before he fades further and further from earshot: "Hey kid, you're pretty good at this whole meditation thing; I'm a pro at it, myself. We should go out and get some air, maybe practice on the lawn. You could use some sunlight before you turn into a lab hermit like the rest of us old men." Wong hovers in the main corridor, newly arrived. A good sign. Stephen walks with him. "Anything from the Sanctum about the stones that might help this?" "Not very much," Wong relents. "What little can be found are based in texts that predate most everything we know as masters. However... I was able to look into what the Ancient One left behind in her many records and found something potentially helpful — and that is not necessarily something about the infinity stones, but about astral projection. I'll have to show you when we return, so you can help me decipher her chicken scratch." Stephen laughs softly, and they enjoy the sound of each other's footsteps. "... Do you have any theories, about what's actually wrong with the boy?" Strange purses his lips, and says at cautious length, "It's all just a theory, but... the woman, Mantis, she had been able to sense him within his body for a short time, even if it wasn't for long. I think more than anything else, it's possible that Peter returned to himself momentarily like the rest of us — and then panicked and let himself sink back into... wherever we all were." "Panicked?" Wong's brow furrows. "Over being alive again?" "... Over the pain of it. Stark had a hard time talking about it, but from what I can gather from his recollections, Peter's death was extraordinarily different from the rest of us. He felt that something was wrong before he'd passed, and it took him much longer than the rest of us to die. If I had to fathom a guess... I think maybe his composition was his own undoing. He's a scared child who couldn't cope with re-living that moment of suffering." "And what is the solution to that? Is there any?" Stephen looks to the side, where Bruce and Peter are resting in the sun, not too far from where the Benatar had landed — with them and bad news. For a moment Stephen worries about the safety of a mentally lost boy and a doctor sorely lacking in control over his green rage-monster, but then he notices the blot of red on the rooftops — Natasha Romanoff, accompanied by a suited-up Sam Wilson, watching with bird-like eyes over the resting figures. Stephen smiles faintly despite himself. "None that I can offer anyone right now. There may not be a solution. Even the Scarlet Witch couldn't find any foothold in the kid's mind... There's no link that we can find between him and the physical world. But if there's any hope at all, and if all else truly fails... my personal bet is on the Soul Stone." Though maybe — and this is a fluttering, unprofessional thought in the grand scheme of things — the extended hands of Peter Parker's worried team may be part of that solution, too. Stephen makes a mental note to compile as much as he can to give to Stark from the Ancient One's writings. And he gives silent thanks to her, that even after her passing, she's managed to help provide obnoxiously useful words of wisdom, be it in slowed thunder storms or old, time-stained scrolls.

#peter parker #tony stark #bruce banner #stephen strange #mcu #marvel #mcu fanfic #marvel fanfic #infinity war #mymcufanfic #hurt!peter parker #warning for medical talk #nothing graphic though #ehsfanfic

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scotch-and-roses · 6 years

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Once again, I am annoyed with my body. Since switching to the Mirena IUC I have had spotting, irregular periods, and still have cramps. They haven’t been quite as bad as when I was on the Paraguard or when I wasn’t on any birth control, but they are still annoying as fuck. In addition it turns out that my body reacts to progesterone only birth control by giving me acne and fucking with my moods. My tendency towards depression has been much stronger since getting the Mirena, and I am quite frankly tired of it. It is emotionally, mentally, and physically exhausting to keep having to pull myself back from that edge.

So I went to Planned Parenthood today to see about switching birth control (yet again). I was thinking I’d try one of the combination pills or NuvaRing again because at least I won’t get acne with those (most likely) and my moods might be better. You can even continuously cycle on them so you don’t get a period. Sounds like a win all around, right? Except that because I get migraines and my blood pressure was a little high today, the doctor would not prescribe them to me. Increased health risk. Which I get, not all medications work for all people for a variety of reasons. But I cannot keep daily pulling myself back from the brink of an emotional abyss because I thought of something sad that sent me in a nosedive.

But I could switch to a progesterone only pill that _might_ help with the moods! Won’t help with the acne and will almost certainly be a higher dose of hormones because I’l be ingesting it instead of having it directly in my uterus, but that should work, right? No.

I really, really hate getting my period. I get awful cramps and bleed a fuckton. Which was why I went for the Mirena to begin with. The idea of no periods (which has yet to happen) sounded amazing. And it’s still been less than six months, it’s possible I could eventually stop having a period. But that doesn’t fix the depression. I suppose I could try to jack up the antidepressants to see if that helps. Won’t fix the acne (which I know, outer beauty shouldn’t be all that, whatever, I get it, I still hate having acne), but it might even out my moods? I wish the copper IUD had gone better for me. I liked not having additional hormones. This shit is hell on my emotional well-being.

And honestly, all of this is seriously making me think about sterilization. It won’t fix the periods, I’d still have to deal with those. Which would be annoying, but maybe when I no longer have things fucking with my uterine lining they’ll work themselves out to something normal? I don’t know. I really don’t know what to do, how to fix this, if this is one of those impossible situations where no matter what I pick I’ll have some stupid side effect to deal with. But I know I don’t want kids. I have never wanted kids. And even if I decided somewhere down the road that I did want kids, I don’t want them to be biological. First off I have absolutely no desire to be pregnant. Ever. Never ever. Just no. Second, I clearly have some fucked up health shit. No way in hell am I passing that on to a kid.

But I can’t handle my moods being this way. It’s like someone turned them all up to 11, broke off the knob, and wired them directly to my tear ducts. I want to cry all the time. The smallest things will send me over the edge into outright fucking sobbing. I can’t do this. And maybe it’s just stress from finishing up my last term at PSU. But I’m going into grad school after this, and after that with any luck into policy. I don’t think I will ever not be stressed. And I need a good base to work from to deal with that, and right now I feel in danger of capsizing at any moment. I feel everything so strongly that it physically hurts.

And I don’t know what to do. The nurse practitioner at PP seemed to want me to know exactly what it was I wanted or needed. But the whole point of me going was that I don’t know. I don’t know how to handle this or what the best course of action for getting everything as evenly balanced as possible is. I just know that what is currently going on is not tenable. And if I stop paying attention for just a moment, or let myself slip, I’ll fall into that black hole of depression. It’s right there at the edge, this overwhelming feeling of helplessness that feels so heavy that it’s crushing. I can’t do that again. And hell, maybe I do just need to up my antidepressants. Might be the thing to try first at least before going the extreme of sterilization. Especially because I really hate having a period and the Mirena is at least making that a bit more manageable. But dear god they were so unhelpful at the clinic today. Just telling me what I can’t do, not trying to help me figure out how to make it better. Which only made it worse.

#my life #things #long post #depression #menstruation cw #reproductive health #birth control

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personalperish · 7 years

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Bloody Mary

Late night, cant sleep, awful thoughts tryna talk to me. Stuck between what feels like heaven and hell everythings about to go well or cave in on me. I can feel it. I know myself too well. I wish I could do something about my mental health. Its out to get me, torn apart by what I am and who I should be. Im committing treason, I want her, I want this and that and its hard to stay on track when you grow up believing everything just happens for a reason but sometimes its too late until you look back. I wish it werent that hard to commit emotionally. That it were easier to love and trust and its even harder knowing I dont see that in myself. Mom always said if you dont know stay put, Dad always said seize the moment. Now im stuck in the limbo, trying to decide but what do you do when either ship is going to capsize? Name one ship Bloody, name the other Mary.

Life aint sunshine and rainbows, its just degrading and scary.

#poetry #poem #run on #thoughts #homesick #sad #blue #confused #upset #life

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flyingseacow · 7 years

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Day 366

So many snacks.

Now, yesterday I promised to go a bit deeper into why I began on Positive little Things, and why I am going to continue it.

This is going to be a bit long, and rather personal, it will go under a cut, so you can just ignore it if it has no interest.

So, a year and half ago I was pretty low. Or rather, things had been sort of murky for a few years, I just didn’t deal with it, it turned out. But when I got a temp job, and ended up moving and starting on said job within a month, things got pretty bad.

Well, I had a job, if a temporary one, the town I lived in was beautiful, but I was in many ways a bit of a wreck. But not truly bad. I got things done, I did my job, had no pressing financial problems. So really there was no reason for me to feel out of sorts really.

Well, except for the fact that I keep feeling like I ought to do better at my job, stressing over the fact that I didn’t know what I was going to do once it ended, was constantly second-guessing myself, was overly sensitive to everything, and got waay to much affected by world politics.

My mom noticed, and began prodding me to seek help. She firstly made some noises about depression, which I denied. Depression is supposed to make you feel sad right? Or emotionally numb, right?

I wasn’t, I was just….sort of overwhelmed all the time? I felt useless and lazy and like, you know that feeling when you are sitting in a rollercoaster and you are being pulled up for the first drop? That slow, ticking feeling, knowing that you are going to fall in a moment, but you are just being pulled higher and higher?

But I could still get happy, like really happy and content over just small stupid things, so obviously it couldn’t be depression.

I was just being stupid, and clearly under qualified for my job, someone who actually knew what they were doing should be doing it instead of me.

Mom and Dad also began talking about autism around that point. One of my siblings had been diagnosed some time before that, and there had also been a tv-series documenting the lives of several adult autistics that they had watched, and they kept saying they saw a lot of similarities.

I balked at that.

Not that there is anything wrong with being autistic, but more that claiming to be one, just felt Wrong.

Correlation doesn't imply causation you know?

So what if I fit some of the behaviors, anyone can fit a diagnosis if you look hard enough. And sure, I might have played with the idea before, but come on, I have been active online since my midt-teens, and on tumblr for years. Not knowing stuff about autism is pretty hard.

It was just, you know how it is: “The Internet Says I Have Cancer, so obviously that is true.”

Playing with the thought is one thing, but actually thinking that it true? That’s Wrong.

I mean, I have been softly joking for years that I am borderline-neurotic, but only joking, obviously I am not. I am just a pedantic stickler for rules, hates sudden changes and always prepare or look out for the worst possible outcome in any situation I am uncertain of (I was a terrible big sister, fun was not allowed). And right, I have always been a tad socially awkward, and apparently had a panic fear of open car doors as a kid, but you know, kids are odd.

Furthermore, I know a decent amount of people who does have autism. And pretty much all of them have gone through various amounts of shit.

Just thinking about claiming to be like them was just Wrong. It felt like undermining their situation. They have enough stuff to deal with, you know, anti-vaccers, ableism, autism-speaks, just the general crap the world throws at them.

I was just some shit-head who wanted a good excuse for being a lazy good-for-nothing.

But my parents refused to let me be, and I ended up agreeing to try to figure things out. A process with some bumps and dead ends here and there. But in the end I ended on the waiting list for an examination at a psychiatrist, and seeing a psychologist in the meantime.

And amongst all of this, I began on my Positive Little Things project.

It wasn’t enforced in any way, actually things had sorta capsized at that point, and I can’t even fully remember what mental state that lead me to doing it despite being pretty miserable.

It might have been spite.

It actually was sort of nice, pinpointing the small things I notice during the day, and it did force me to try to find something positive on the bad days. And since I have a rather dutiful personality, I only ended up skipping days when things were going so well I really didn’t have time to go online, or when things where really bad. And even then I would force myself to try to think back and find anything that could be just a tiny bit good.

There are still bad days, but there is a lot longer between them now.

Particularly after the end of summer, when things began really happening.

I finally got to see the psychiatrist.

So, I am currently on a small dose of antidepressants, and seeing this very nice and talented nurse on how to deal with my job situation in contrast with my autism.

Yeah, turns out I really am autistic.

The psychiatrist was pretty sure after just the second session, but I still asked for a test. I needed something on paper, something concrete, before I would even entertain the thought.

I am autistic.

Just writing it still gives me tingling feeling of guilt and How-Dare-I.

But I am working on that.

At the moment I am trying to map out what this means in terms of my strengths and weaknesses, as said, partly aimed at getting a job, but it also means sort of putting together this huge puzzle I didn’t even knew I had. Which is rather interesting, and a bit odd a times, for instance, I pretty much realized this week I might actually have been stimming my whole life, and just not know it? Sorta? I am not entirely sure yet.

It is actually a lot easier to deal with the antidepressants. It is not a real big issue, but I clearly had a tendency to get trapped in a negative feed-back spiral, and after beginning on the pills I suddenly found that a board had been put over the lowest level of the hole I sometimes found myself in.

That was a really queer feeling. Like when you have had the hiccups for quite a while, and suddenly it is gone, and you sort of still remember how it felt, but not quite.

So tl:dr

Last year sucked, so did this year to some extent. Turns out I am autistic with a tiny hint of depression. I am working on that, and I am going to keep doing Positive Little Things ‘cause I think it is good for me.

#positive little things #personal

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mrsteveecook · 5 years

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26 Feel-Good Words

Some writers neglect the power of emotion when communicating their ideas, valuing logic more than others do, and assuming that everyone thinks like they do – that careful reasoning is enough to convince readers and make points. But even the ancient Greek philosopher Aristotle, who was no enemy of reason, taught that stimulating emotion in your audience can be the key to persuading them. I’ve decided that communication, instead of simply inserting information into my reader’s head, is more like striking a tuning fork that resonates with the tuning fork in my reader’s head. Emotion resonates in a way that logic does not.

Here is a list of words that express powerful, positive emotions. They would fit well in a movie ad or a blurb on the back cover of a novel, two bastions of emotionally persuasive words.

amazing – from a Proto-Germanic word “to confound or confuse” so if you were a Proto-German you might not want to be amazed. But amazing now has a positive connotation of delight and wonder, though it is often used lightly, even when you’re not paralyzed under a weight of marvelous singularity.

appealing – from the Latin for “call,” something that is appealing calls to you or attracts you. A convict would appeal to a judge to reconsider his innocence.

arresting – If you were a fugitive from the criminal justice system, you would avoid anything arresting, that stops you in your tracks. But sometimes it’s nice to be so overwhelmed by a thought or experience that you don’t even move.

astonishing – Related to the modern word stun (as in “stun gun”) and to ancient words for “stupefy, crash, daze, bang.” One synonym is flabbergasting. I had a boss who liked to retort, “I am astonied,” as used in the King James Bible.

astounding – Closely related to stun, it includes the meanings of dazzling and bewildering. An astounding experience goes beyond mere surprise.

attractive – As you might expect, one synonym is magnetic – something that allures or draws you by its own intrinsic power. Often used to describe members of the opposite sex.

awe-inspiring – Literally “breathing awe into.” The word awe once meant “overwhelming dread,” and this compound word preserves some of the dictionary connotation of majesty that awesome has lost.

captivating – Originally it simply meant “making captive,” something that pirates might do to others that you wouldn’t want done to you. But like many words in this list, it now has pleasant connotations: being confronted by something so wonderful that you can’t stop thinking about it.

compelling – When someone compels you, they force you to do something. When something is compelling, it forces you to consider it, as in a compelling argument that makes a lot of sense, or a compelling novel that makes you think.

engaging – From root words for “pledge, promise, secure,” an engaging person or thing makes you want to involve yourself with it and commit yourself to it, similar to the way two people become engaged when they decide to get married. Used in business buzzwords such as “audience engagement” and “product engagement” which involve much less commitment than marriage, though the marketing department might hope it was different.

enticing – Meaning “tempting, alluring,” its roots meant “torch, firebrand.” I suppose that being enticed is like being ignited. You can use the synonym inveigling, but few will know what you mean. You can use the archaic synonym illecebrous, but nobody will know what you mean.

exhilarating – This word exhilarating has the connotation of “invigorating, refreshing, thrilling, exciting.” Unlike awesome, this word has become stronger, not weaker, since the days of Rome. It comes from the Latin roots for “ex-hilarity-ate-ing” so its origin is something like “gladdening,” maybe as in “That thoroughly hilarized me!” That is, it’s related to hilarious, which today means “very funny” but formerly meant “cheerful.”

fascinating – Another happy word with sinister roots, coming from the Latin for “bewitch, enthrall, cast a spell upon.” It refers to something you find so interesting that you’re spellbound or trapped (in a good way).

impressive – Yes, one of its roots is “to press.” An impressive experience makes an unforgettable impression on your mind, as the press at a government mint makes a powerful impression on metal blanks that turns them into coins.

marvelous – A marvelous sight provokes almost uncontrollable wonder in those who see it. From the Latin for “worthy to be looked at.”

memorable – Its Latin root originally meant “worthy of mention,” but it soon changed to “worthy of remembering,” as it means now. A synonym is remarkable, which means “worth noting.”

mind-blowing – Alfred Hitchcock wondered if it involved compressed air. Common in the 1960s and used to describe the effect of hallucinogenic drugs, it carries the sense of an experience so intense or unusual that the human mind is overwhelmed by it.

mind-boggling – First used in the early 1960s, it results in being overwhelmed, dumbfounded, or confused, usually mentally but also emotionally.

overwhelming – If whelm means “to capsize, flood, or engulf,” then overwhelm is even stronger. The power of an overwhelming experience is more than you can handle.

rapturous – It means “blissful, filled with extreme delight.” It comes from a Latin word for “snatched, carried off,” as one might feel during an ecstatic experience. A rapt listener is transported by and absorbed in what he or she is hearing.

refreshing – Literally, “making fresh again,” revitalizing because of its newness. It comes from ancient European words for “fresh,” as you might expect. But these words also have the sense of “sweet, pure.”

riveting – A rivet is a small metal fastener, so a listener would have trouble separating himself from a riveting conversation because it holds their attention so strongly.

staggering – Meaning “reeling, tottering, bewildering.” A drunk man staggers as he walks. Having a truly staggering realization might make it hard to walk straight – it’s so amazing and astonishing that it affects the body.

stunning – Saying a person has stunning beauty means that he or she is so attractive that it causes the viewer to lose strength. That’s usually an exaggeration, but the word does imply amazement and high quality. Related to astonishing.

thrilling – Causing a sudden, intense excitement, even causing shaking or vibrating. Sword clashing against sword is thrilling in that sense.

wondrous – This word is not for ordinary experiences. A wondrous sight is truly amazing, causing deep awe and marvel.

Though these words are all based on emotions, notice that they are also based on verbs – actions that stimulate emotions in my heart that change my behavior or attitude. For example, an amazing event amazes me. An appealing object appeals to me. They are intended to inspire action. You could use most of them as exclamations, putting an exclamation mark after them, though people might look at you oddly if you blurted out, “Oh rapturous!”

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Original post: 26 Feel-Good Words from Daily Writing Tips https://ift.tt/2XfgeYY

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bern33chaser · 5 years