#motivation to write because after writing for prompts this summer it's really hard to write without prompts i mean like without someone | Explore Tumblr Posts and Blogs

churipu · 2 months

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WHAT REMINDS THEM OF YOU 𓆝 ⋆｡𖦹°‧

ִ ࣪𖤐 featuring. gojo satoru, megumi fushiguro, itadori yuuji

ִ ࣪𖤐 warnings. just pure fluff :D

note. i was going to write some hurt comfort — but then i figured that i wanted to keep myself sane for today :>

𝐆𝐎𝐉𝐎 𝐒𝐀𝐓𝐎𝐑𝐔

anything strawberry. scent, taste — anything strawberry.

gojo remembered when the first time he brought you home some honeoye strawberries after a mission since it was in season. the way your eyes just lit up at the sight of strawberries made him happy, and from then on — gojo looks at a picture of a strawberry or even smelled strawberry from god knows where.

he just thinks of you.

one time gojo saw a rabbit eating a strawberry while scrolling through his social media, and he wasted no time sending the video to you with a small message: "you <33"

or the other time gojo sees a bucket cap with strawberry motives and he just had to get it for you. the male waited in line for half an hour for that hat (and he had to "fight" a kid for it, he won in the end because the kid moved on to a duck motive hat instead).

"baby, look what i got you — strawberry scented bath bomb. it was the last one on stock, and i had to argue with a lady over it," he happily bursts through the door, boasting while raising what seemed to be a bath bomb.

gojo just knows when you change your usual brand of strawberry lip balm. it took him a peck and he asks you, "did you change your brand? this one tastes weird," he wipes his lips.

"they were out of stock, 'toru."

"why didn't you say so?" he cooed, kissing the bridge of your nose, "i'd go to the other side of the earth to get you one, y'know?"

you chuckled, "or, i could just wait for it to stock back . . ."

"nonsense!"

𝐌𝐄𝐆𝐔𝐌𝐈 𝐅𝐔𝐒𝐇𝐈𝐆𝐔𝐑𝐎

the smiths.

he finds it amusing when you start quoting that one scene from 500 days of summer, "i love the smiths . . ." and he just unexpectedly replied with, "sorry?"

but that time — he didn't know that he was "unknowingly" going along with it. confused, he had to question you about it, and when you told him it was from a movie. megumi finally understood and thought that maybe you really liked the movie.

he was wrong. it wasn't the movie, it was the smiths. so now, every time he sees anything or hears anything about the band, he finds himself thinking about you — but he'd never actually say that. megumi often listens to their songs just so he could understand when you talked to him about it.

also, quoting the movie was now a habit for you two. you just go, "i love the smiths," out of the blue and megumi will continue it (even if he says that it's pretty corny).

megumi loves it when you listen to the smiths out loud, singing softly to the tune. the male tries really hard to get you unofficial merchandise, official merchandise for the smiths are actually so hard to find today — so he just had to go and make it custom for you.

"and when the double decker bus, crashes into us . . ." he heard you sing, both of your ears jammed with earbuds from the earphones, "to die by your side."

that, was your favorite song. and megumi made it into a custom painting of you and him as if the two of you were in that one scene in 500 days of summer. i'm not kidding.

𝐈𝐓𝐀𝐃𝐎𝐑𝐈 𝐘𝐔𝐔𝐉𝐈

mochi skin. the texture, the flesh. it just reminded him of your cheeks — it's so squishy and soft. every single time he buys a mochi, he makes sure to do something that he calls a squish test.

where he squishes the mochi, and then squishes your cheeks. if they don't feel the same, yuuji gets rid of the mochi and gets another one (he eats them).

"it doesn't feel the same y/n, i don't like it," he whines out softly, tossing the mochi into his mouth — he angrily takes out another bill of cash to buy another mochi.

"yuuji, why does it have to be the same again?" you asked him, hands inside your pockets.

"because . . ." good point. why?

the male prompts to ignore you and buy another one (three others) to make sure they are the same texture as your cheeks. it's something he does — if a mochi he buys doesn't feel the same way like your cheeks does.

he eats them or lets you have them.

if it does.

he also eats them or lets you have them.

it's just something he does for fun, so he could always remember you. and when you're not there with him — yuuji makes sure to buy at least five before coming over to visit you so he could do the test.

when he's not feeling like it but he misses you, he takes a video and sends it to you with a caption: "i miss you."

#jujutsu kaisen #jjk x reader #jujutsu kaisen x reader #jjk fluff #jujutsu kaisen fluff #fluff #gojo satoru #gojo fluff #gojo satoru x reader #jjk #itadori yuuji #itadori fluff #itadori yuuji x reader #megumi fushiguro #megumi fluff #megumi fushiguro x reader

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lxm-memories · 2 years

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long movie nights prompt with Ike please <3

lxm-memories' 500 followers event drabble

✧ ike eveland x gn!reader

✧ prompts: long movie nights where one is in charge of the blanket and pillow fort and one is in charge of the snacks.

✧ a/n: yes there are more requests for ike and shu than the others HAHAH. However a Luca drabble (hopefully) will be after this if im able to write that fast since i get to these requests in the order they came in ❤️

You don't know when this tradition became a thing between you and Ike.

An unspoken rule, but a mutual agreement between the two of you where every saturday the two of you would watch a movie of some sort - whether it be a cute romance movie, an animated one or the dreaded scary movie.

And it started off simple at first with you and Ike would be huddled up on the couch. Sometimes side by side with his arm around your shoulder or vice versa, you sitting in front of him with his arms wrapped around your waist or the both of you laying down with you spooning Ike.

He liked being held and hugged, maybe that was the ulterior motive when he suggested watching a movie every saturday before it became a routine for the two of you.

At one point, you had decided to make light snacks since Ike often became hungry during the movie, and you just ate whatever was made because why not? Watching Ike eat made you want to eat something too.

And when you inevitably kicked the table too hard and screeched when movie choice for the night was a horror movie, the two of you decided to move the table aside and rather sit on the carpeted floor.

The blanket fort came into play during summer because of the sunlight thad made it hard for Ike to properly see the screen at times. Prompting you guys to instead buy a projector and then choose a relative nice spot to watch.

And it just weaved together further from there. Ike would eventually be the one to make snacks because of how picky he was with certain food compared to you who could just eat anything. Which made you the charge of blanket fort duty.

"... I realized we have way more blankets than we did before this became a thing," Ike said with a chuckle once he peeked into your new masterpiece, smiling when he saw you wrapped around a blanket. "It makes it cozier though, we've fallen asleep here a ton of times even before the movie ended."

"That's true," he hums, setting the tray of snacks down before crawling behind you, arms resting on your shoulders as he nuzzled his nose into your hair. "Ah, you used my shampoo today didn't you?" he asks, and you let out a small laugh out of guilt. "I ran out of my own."

Truth to be told, the two of you call this a movie night, but the end result from each session is usually the two of you falling asleep - which causes you to not watch the entire movie. Talk to each other with the movie as background noise, which also causes you to not watch the movie.

Or the most common one, which is to do all three with a few kisses exchanged here and there, you're both between kissing distance after all, neither of you can resist that temptation.

"How many movies have we actually watched through and focused on beside 'How to train your dragon'?`" you ask, Ike only responding with a shrug of his shoulders before his lips press onto your neck and his hand slide the sleeve of your top down to expose your shoulders. "Don't know really, but wanna watch the second movie?" he suggests, lips moving along your neck making you giggle at the sensation, already scrolling through the selection of movies to find the animation.

#luxiem #luxiem x reader #luxiem imagines #nijisanji #nijisanji en #nijisanji x reader #ike eveland #ike eveland x reader #[[ lxm memories 500 event !! ]]

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silverskull · 5 months

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What made you start writing fanfic?

MS QUESERAONE

These asks do not always appear on my phone, and it sometimes takes me loading coal into the engine of my laptop and then navigating to tumblr dot com to find them...

I started writing (terrible) fic as a teenager back in my Stargate SG-1 days, because I fell in love with Sam and Jack, and had only recently discovered that you were allowed to imagine scenarios in your head and not just say your prayers when you went to bed at night. (I also had a brief Pokemon phase, but I’m not gonna even bold that one.) That fic all disappeared in a Blue Screen of Death home PC crash back in the day, and I gave up on investing effort into digital files until I had a more reliable backup plan. Despite that, I recently discovered (and discarded, with love) pages of A4 notes I wrote in secondary school that were actually just Harry/Hermione or Sam/Jack fic starters. Love the dedication - in fountain pen, no less! - from teenage me!

After college, cue LiveJournal! And Fringe! And community fic prompts! I loved it so much. I definitely wrote 3 solid fics for Peter and Olivia back then, but I was very at sea in real life, and I didn't keep it up. I uploaded them to AO3 in recent years, and I’m glad they’ve been saved for posterity. That show was very important to me too.

After LiveJournal died/sold out to the Russians, I gave up once again, and didn't even really read fic in any of my following fandoms. But then came The Pandemic, and Lockdowns, and lots and lots of time to rewatch my favourite shows, and my brain decided to fixate on The Rookie and Lucy and Tim. I am not sorry. I was struck with the disease and forced to stay at home and go on my little mental health 2.5km walk loops, and my mind started to suggest that I could write fic again. That I'd done it before. That the brain pictures could meld into a story, and that fic archiving (with the advent of AO3) was a lot more reliable.

So, a few lockdowns later, along came "In the Hole Together", a spec-fic for 422 that was founded on fan-detectivery and paracetamol. And when people actually got interested, I thought this was something I might be able to do.

AND THEN THERE WAS ACTUAL 422.

And "Roots Won't Keep Me Warm" was born.

I've never ever written something so long, so detailed and so intense, and it became a personal challenge as much as a dedication to the readers that were following along. The only two rules I've set for myself since then are 1) Don't try to use song lyrics as titles anymore, Sil, and 2) Always finish a multi-chap.

The way my brain operates, I can only work on one fic at a time, so I never have written WIPs hanging around (though I have many, many head-plots, and some of them are even stored as bullet points in a google doc...). I hope that the one thing I will always do is finish out a fic to its conclusion, as it is absolutely an undertaking I most appreciate in the authors I love.

I had some extra time this (northern) summer (personal reasons) to devote to ChenfordWeek and finish my second Big Long Fic ("Shadows of Deception"), but it hasn't been sustainable since then, and it makes me very, very sad. I have been so harassed and harangued with real life, that I could barely even Do Imaginations for Chenford, and - to be frank - that has been critically depressing. It always has for me, since the days of SG-1.

I love writing fic, and I hope never to turn it into a job rather than a hobby, because that has never worked out well for me in the past. That said, I have you, Ms @queseraone, to thank for getting me to sit down and face the music this Christmas/Winter/Holiday season, and actually write some new Chenford content. And it is h a r d. It is hard to do the thinking and the linking and the typing. It is hard to find the time and the will and the motivation. It is hard to have a plan and then another plan and then discard it all when you actually sit down to type. But I am really happy to be doing it. I really am.

And I can’t wait for @chenfordsecretsanta to arrive, and to share in the joy of a whole batch of new fics in our little fandom! To have something to look forward to that is closer than February 20th. To have someone believe in me enough to persist in prodding and poking me into committing to this challenge.

So thank you. Thank you, and I love you, and I appreciate you.

💖

#fic #ask and answer #personal

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willkimurashat · 1 year

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2022 Fics in Review

Thank you so much for tagging me @rebelrayne !!! I only started writing this year, as my new-found hobby, and I actually found it quite fun and therapeutic :) that being said, I don’t have a lot to share, but it’s still cool to look back on it lol!

In 2022 I…

…wrote the following one-shots:

First Impressions Don’t Have to Decide Everything, Right?

MC x Will, 4k+ words

My first ever fic!! It will always hold a special place in my heart, even though I’m kinda scared to reread it and feel incredibly cringy🙈

The Answer Was Simple

MC x Suresh, 2.3k+ words, Lie detector prompt

I’m really proud of this one actually. I wrote it in one sitting and I was surprisingly satisfied with how it came out:) still can’t believe all the love I got for it here on tumblr!

Snog, Marry, Die

Halloween-themed, 7k+ words, tw: blood, violence, murder, death

I was just rereading it yesterday, and I still think it came out so fun lol! Every time I read the title, makes me feel like I was such a genius for coming up with that pun lmao, like, I am wayyy too proud of that title haha😂

…started the following multi-chaptered wips:

Stargazing

MC x Will, s4 rewrite, 61.6k+ words

Ah, the fic that kinda started it all:) It was such an ambitious plan, and I think it’s only now hit me, just how ambitious it really is to do a whole season rewrite lol… I hate how slow I am with writing it, but I love writing it so much nonetheless - it’s my baby!

An Unnamed College AU

Started writing this back in the summer, I haven’t touched it in months, but I haven’t given up on it yet either. I just didn’t think the plot fully through before starting it lol! Maybe I will get back to it, who’s to say?

An Unnamed Xmas fic

Something I started, but lost motivation and didn’t finish… whoopsie daisy👀 maybe next year?

An Unnamed Romcom-Inspired fic

I am actually super excited about this! The idea has been occupying my mind for a few weeks now:) I think this one’s kinda self-indulgent, but my bday is coming up in 1.5 months, so I’m allowing it lol😅 no, but I think it’s actually gonna be really fun, and I hope you guys think so too! Stay tuned!

…reached the following milestones:

Started writing! I mean, it’s a big deal because it got me through a lot actually, as this year was absolutely fucked.

100 kudos across all of my fics on ao3! Like, WHAT??? HOWWWW THANK YOUUUU

1301 hits across all of my fics on ao3! Again, HOWWW I LOVE YOU ALL

Collectively wrote 71,089 words across the fics officially posted to ao3! I didn’t know I could do that wtf!!!

Stargazing currently sits at about 61k words, which is approximately 122 A4 pages, which is also about the same as the word count of Carrie by Stephen King! (I never read it, but it’s still super freaking impressive!!)

And let me be sappy for a moment lol:) After years of stalking the tumblr litg tag, I finally caved in and made myself a sideblog too lol! I had a very very shitty year, but this place has been my safe space. I am so grateful I got to know so many of you - you are all so wonderful and funny and talented and inspiring! I’m not usually a hug person, but I am squeezing you all so tight right now❤️ thank you for being here and ranting/venting/crying/laughing with me, I love you all!❤️❤️❤️

Tagging: I feel like at this point everyone’s done it, but if you haven’t and you want to - I’m tagging you! I am so so proud of all of you for all the hard work you’ve done this year!!

Happy New Year, my lovely friends! Wishing you all peace, kindness, and lots of wonderful moments in 2023! I hope it treats you well ❤️❤️❤️

#litg #love island the game #litg fanfic #tag game #tagged

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maiverie · 2 years

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yk i just wanna share,,, I've been wanting to be a good writer just like you 😯 and any other authors there but like my head can't just form ideas the only ideas it's forming is the idea to sleep IT'S SO ?!*@?@ LIKE i wanna ask / im curious how writers like you think of prompts, the storyline and all and write it nicely ??? 😭 so yea i admire you !!!

:(( anon wth this is so sweet thank u so much :( u admire me?? bye i'm so flattered you even think of me like that 😭 it's an honour to receive this kind of ask so thank u sm for sending this through ☹️🫶 you're not alone,,, writing is hard and coming up w storylines can honestly be so ass 😭 i honestly dont really know if i'm all that qualified to give advice, but here are my thoughts!! :>>

in my experience, the best way to come up with a story idea is by literally just choosing one thing that you really want to write. it can literally be anything — maybe you really want to write a particular trope (enemies to lovers), a time period (something based on the 80s), a season (winter or summer), a workplace (the office), a character with a particular career (a magazine editor), or something really mf random (a character that goes shopping for christmas). just choose something to start with and flesh it out from there! most of the time, i choose my "one thing" by getting inspired by tv shows / movies / songs / other fanfics. for example, i might be watching a medical drama and think "damn i rlly wanna write a hospital au or nurse au or medical student au".

i think it becomes less overwhelming when you choose just one thing you want to do, because you can let your idea sprout from there. even if your final idea deviates far from your starting point, it's a lot less daunting starting from one idea than sitting there tapping your fingers while waiting for a story plot to randomly come up.

after you choose your one thing, maybe add in more details. if you've chosen a particular trope like enemies to lovers, think about why they're enemies and then go from there. was it a misunderstanding? where is the story set? how old are they? how do they fall in love? stuff like that! honestly sometimes i just put on main character music and visualise scenes that come to mind 😭

sometimes, your "one thing" can literally just be a dialogue line. is there one line you really want to include in your story? maybe it's a nickname or a particular scene or ending or something like that. for example, your one thing might be that you don't want your characters to end up together, so you can backtrack the series of events that unfold to make that happen.

as for writing tips, oh god if i included everything then this post would literally be way too long :< my best tip for writing is to honestly focus on your characters. start small and choose two/three main characters and focus on them. don't worry about coming up with a unique plot or something full of twists or whatever else. my favourite stories in the world were written by authors who made me genuinely love their characters because they felt real. sure, a whacky plot might hook a reader in, but likeable characters that are worth rooting for are what going to make your readers stay.

ways to make your readers want to root for your characters is by giving your characters motivations and fears and all the other stuff that real humans have. for example, i'm not going to give a shit about story about a snail that roams the earth. but if you tell me that that snail is the only one left of its species and its one true goal in life is to find another snail to marry, i'm probably going to care a lot more about the story bc now i rlly wanna know if the snail gets what it wants :<

LMAO maybe that made no actual sense but my point is mostly to just flesh out your characters and give them feelings and emotions and show that in your writing. with the enemies to lovers example, i really love the e2l stories that genuinely make me feel like the two characters are better when they're together because they bring out the best in each other. maybe i'm rooting for them because one of them has a history of self-sabotage and i really want to see them be happy for once. stuff like that, yk?

sorry if this was quite tangential and the advice is a little vague. you can always ask clarifying questions!

here are some resources that might help!

job ideas

dialogue prompts: one, two, three, four (search "dialogue prompts" on tumblr)

more prompts!

also bff don't be too hard on yourself. writing is so subjective — people you think are good writers might be considered bad by someone else. just write about stories you like, whether it's a cute romcom plot or a horror fic or an angsty story about fucking snails, because that's all that really matters. have fun okie? :>>

lots of luv <333

#hope this helps :0 #ask #@ : anon ♡︎#vis à vis ꒰ advice ꒱ ✰#just scroll to the bottom tbh i just fucking ramble all the time lmfao #questions about

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kinetic-elaboration · 9 months

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August 4: Writing Accomplishment, Writing Attempt

I'm actually really proud of myself because I did some more writing on my Troped fic after work. This monster isn't really a feasible project for the time allotted but I'm going to try to make it work, while still tempering expectations. I spent a pretty significant chunk of time on it--an hour and 45 minutes--and doubled its current word count. I hope to get a lot more writing done this weekend. It feels really good, I'm excited about the story, I'm excited to see how the rest of it turns out, and I'm excited at the idea of people reading it and telling me what they think even though lol that will never happen.

But it's good motivation.

Then I made the mistake of trying to write even more, specifically an entry for 'coffee shop,' today's AU August prompt and it was just... bad, and hard, and not worth much. I wrote for about 6 minutes and got down not quite 200 words. I think it might be fun to use these prompts to practice physical place description and setting a mood/scene--the prompts lend themselves well to that because they were designed for drawing. So I gave that a try:

The last heat wave of the summer crests in early August, just as the stores are switching their displays to back to school. Inside the shop, the air grows slowly hotter, stuffier, crowded with people for the lunchtime rush and the hard rays of the sun streaming in. The ceiling fans work hard to move the heavy, languid hair, rocking and shaking and the lights set in them quivering, the movement hypnotic and steady. A singular fly buzzes, is swatted away.

When the worst of the midday crowd starts to dissipate, Bellamy lets out what feels a long-held breath and looks out across the room. Most of the tables are still occupied, and he recognizes the usual students camped out with their laptops, their open books, their stacks of highlighters and pens; the families grabbing lunch; a small reunion of old friends chatting at the large table in the back. Through the bright blaze of the high-noon sun outside, he sees the overspill of the crowd, all the outdoor seating taken, tourists in their sunglasses and baseball hats, parents with their children. A hundred iced lattes in a row, it felt like. Iced teas, smoothies, coffee floats.

#the year 2023 #2023: writing thoughts #i have had so much stimulus these 2 days as well #i feel like i need to be alone for a little bit preferably creating #so! many! adjectives haha #there was a vague idea here to set this in the universe of the poly fic but like.............meh

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writingwithcolor · 3 years

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What Does Our "Motivations” PSA Mean?

@luminalalumini said:

I've been on your blog a lot and it has a lot of really insightful information, but I notice a theme with some of your answers where you ask the writer reaching out what their 'motivation for making a character a certain [race/religion/ethnicity/nationality] is' and it's discouraging to see, because it seems like you're automatically assigning the writer some sort of ulterior motive that must be sniffed out and identified before the writer can get any tips or guidance for their question. Can't the 'motive' simply be having/wanting to have diversity in one's work? Must there be an 'ulterior motive'? I can understand that there's a lot of stigma and stereotypes and bad influence that might lead to someone trynna add marginalized groups into their stories for wrong reasons, but people that have those bad intentions certainly won't be asking for advice on how to write good representation in the first place. Idk its just been something that seemed really discouraging to me to reach out myself, knowing i'll automatically be assigned ulterior motives that i don't have and will probably have to justify why i want to add diversity to my story as if i'm comitting some sort of crime. I don't expect you guys to change your blog or respond to this or even care all that much, I'm probably just ranting into a void. I'm just curious if theres any reason to this that I haven't realized exists I suppose. I don't want y'all to take this the wrong way because I do actually love and enjoy your blog's advice in spite of my dumb griping. Cheers :))

We assume this is in reference to the following PSA:

PSA to all of our users - Motivation Matters: This lack of clarity w/r to intent has been a general issue with many recent questions. Please remember that if you don’t explain your motivations and what you intend to communicate to your audience with your plot choices, character attributes, world-building etc., we cannot effectively advise you beyond the information you provide. We Are Not Mind Readers. If, when drafting these questions, you realize you can’t explain your motivations, that is likely a hint that you need to think more on the rationales for your narrative decisions. My recommendation is to read our archives and articles on similar topics for inspiration while you think. I will be attaching this PSA to all asks with similar issues until the volume of such questions declines.

We have answered this in three parts.

1. Of Paved Roads and Good Intentions

Allow me to give you a personal story, in solidarity towards your feelings:

When I began writing in South Asia as an outsider, specifically in the Kashmir and Lahore areas, I was doing it out of respect for the cultures I had grown up around. I did kathak dance, I grew up on immigrant-cooked North Indian food, my babysitters were Indian. I loved Mughal society, and every detail of learning about it just made me want more. The minute you told me fantasy could be outside of Europe, I hopped into the Mughal world with two feet. I was 13. I am now 28.

And had you asked me, as a teenager, what my motives were in giving my characters’ love interests blue or green eyes, one of them blond hair, my MC having red-tinted brown hair that was very emphasized, and a whole bunch of paler skinned people, I would have told you my motives were “to represent the diversity of the region.”

I’m sure readers of the blog will spot the really, really toxic and colourist tropes present in my choices. If you’re new here, then the summary is: giving brown people “unique” coloured eyes and hair that lines up with Eurocentric beauty standards is an orientalist trope that needs to be interrogated in your writing. And favouring pale skinned people is colourist, full stop.

Did that make me a bad person with super sneaky ulterior motives who wanted to write bad representation? No.

It made me an ignorant kid from the mostly-white suburbs who grew up with media that said brown people had to “look unique” (read: look as European as possible) to be considered valuable.

And this is where it is important to remember that motives can be pure as you want, but you were still taught all of the terrible stuff that is present in society. Which means you’re going to perpetuate it unless you stop and actually question what is under your conscious motive, and work to unlearn it. Work that will never be complete.

I know it sounds scary and judgemental (and it’s one of the reasons we allow people to ask to be anonymous, for people who are afraid). Honestly, I would’ve reacted much the same as a younger writer, had you told me I was perpetuating bad things. I was trying to do good and my motives were pure, after all! But after a few years, I realized that I had fallen short, and I had a lot more to learn in order for my motives to match my impact. Part of our job at WWC is to attempt to close that gap.

We aren’t giving judgement, when we ask questions about why you want to do certain things. We are asking you to look at the structural underpinnings of your mind and question why those traits felt natural together, and, more specifically, why those traits felt natural to give to a protagonist or other major character.

I still have blond, blue-eyed characters with sandy coloured skin. I still have green-eyed characters. Because teenage me was right, that is part of the region. But by interrogating my motive, I was able to devalue those traits within the narrative, and I stopped making those traits shorthand for “this is the person you should root for.”

It opened up room for me to be messier with my characters of colour, even the ones who my teenage self would have deemed “extra special.” Because the European-associated traits (pale hair, not-brown-eyes) stopped being special. After years of questioning, they started lining up with my motive of just being part of the diversity of the region.

Motive is important, both in the conscious and the subconscious. It’s not a judgement and it’s not assumed to be evil. It’s simply assumed to be unquestioned, so we ask that you question it and really examine your own biases.

~Mod Lesya

2. Motivations Aren't Always "Ulterior"

You can have a positive motivation or a neutral one or a negative one. Just wanting to have diversity only means your characters aren't all white and straight and cis and able-bodied -- it doesn't explain why you decided to make this specific character specifically bi and specifically Jewish (it me). Yes, sometimes it might be completely random! But it also might be "well, my crush is Costa Rican, so I gave the love interest the same background", or "I set it in X City where the predominant marginalized ethnicity is Y, so they are Y". Neither of these count as ulterior motives. But let's say for a second that you did accidentally catch yourself doing an "ulterior." Isn't that the point of the blog, to help you find those spots and clean them up?

Try thinking of it as “finding things that need adjusting” rather than “things that are bad” and it might get less scary to realize that we all do them, subconsciously. Representation that could use some work is often the product of subconscious bias, not deliberate misrepresentation, so there's every possibility that someone who wants to improve and do better didn't do it perfectly the first time.

--Shira

3. Dress-Making as a Metaphor

I want to echo Lesya’s sentiments here but also provide a more logistical perspective. If you check the rubber stamp guide here and the “Motivation matters” PSA above, you’ll notice that concerns with respect to asker motivation are for the purposes of providing the most relevant answer possible.

It is a lot like if someone walks into a dressmaker’s shop and asks for a blue dress/ suit (Back when getting custom-made clothes was more of a thing) . The seamstress/ tailor is likely to ask a wide variety of questions:

What material do you want the outfit to be made of?

Where do you plan to wear it?

What do you want to highlight?

How do you want to feel when you wear it?

Let’s say our theoretical customer is in England during the 1920s. A tartan walking dress/ flannel suit for the winter is not the same as a periwinkle, beaded, organza ensemble/ navy pinstripe for formal dress in the summer. When we ask for motivations, we are often asking for exactly that: the specific reasons for your inquiry so we may pinpoint the most pertinent information.

The consistent problem for many of the askers who receive the PSA is they haven’t even done the level of research necessary to know what they want to ask of us. It would be like if our English customer in the 1920s responded, “IDK, some kind of blue thing.” Even worse, WWC doesn’t have the luxury of the back-and-forth between a dressmaker and their clientele. If our asker doesn’t communicate all the information they need in mind at the time of submission, we can only say, “Well, I’m not sure if this is right, but here’s something. I hope it works, but if you had told us more, we could have done a more thorough job.”

Answering questions without context is hard, and asking for motivations, by which I mean the narratives, themes, character arcs and other literary devices that you are looking to incorporate, is the best way for us to help you, while also helping you to determine if your understanding of the problem will benefit from outside input. Because these asks are published with the goal of helping individuals with similar questions, the PSA also serves to prompt other users.

I note that asking questions is a skill, and we all start by asking the most basic questions (Not stupid questions, because to quote a dear professor, “There are no stupid questions.”). Unfortunately, WWC is not suited for the most basic questions. To this effect, we have a very helpful FAQ and archive as a starting point. Once you have used our website to answer the more basic questions, you are more ready to approach writing with diversity and decide when we can actually be of service. This is why we are so adamant that people read the FAQ. Yes, it helps us, but it also is there to save you time and spare you the ambiguity of not even knowing where to start.

The anxiety in your ask conveys to me a fear of being judged for asking questions. That fear is not something we can help you with, other than to wholeheartedly reassure you that we do not spend our unpaid, free time answering these questions in order to assume motives we can’t confirm or sit in judgment of our users who, as you say, are just trying to do better.

Yes, I am often frustrated when an asker’s question makes it clear they haven’t read the FAQ or archives. I’ve also been upset when uncivil commenters have indicated that my efforts and contributions are not worth their consideration. However, even the most tactless question has never made me think, “Ooh this person is such a naughty racist. Let me laugh at them for being a naughty racist. Let me shame them for being a naughty racist. Mwahaha.”

What kind of sad person has time for that?*

Racism is structural. It takes time to unlearn, especially if you’re in an environment that doesn’t facilitate that process to begin with. Our first priority is to help while also preserving our own boundaries and well-being. Though I am well aware of the levels of toxic gas-lighting and virtue signaling that can be found in various corners of online writing communities in the name of “progressivism*”, WWC is not that kind of space. This space is for discussions held in good faith: for us to understand each other better, rather than for one of us to “win” and another to “lose.”

Just as we have good faith that you are doing your best, we ask that you have faith that we are trying to do our best by you and the BIPOC communities we represent.

- Marika.

*If you are in any writing or social media circles that feed these anxieties or demonstrate these behaviors, I advise you to curtail your time with them and focus on your own growth. You will find, over time, that it is easier to think clearly when you are worrying less about trying to appease people who set the bar of approval so high just for the enjoyment of watching you jump. “Internet hygiene”, as I like to call it, begins with you and the boundaries you set with those you interact with online.

#PSAs #asker concerns #diversity #motivations in writing #writing with diversity #blog housekeeping #internet hygeine #asks #WWC

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be-gay-do-heists · 3 years

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hello yall :) the holy month of elul started last night, which is typically a time for contemplation, so since it is impossible for me to stop thinking about leverage, i decided to write an essay. hope anyone interested in reading it enjoys, and that it makes at least a little sense!! spoilers for leverage redemption

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Leverage, Judaism, and “Doing the Work”: An Essay for Elul

When it comes to Elul and the approaching High Holidays, Leverage might seem like an odd topic to meditate on.

The TNT crime drama that ran from 2008-2012, and which released a new season this summer following its renewal, centers on a group of found-family thieves who help the victims of corporations and oligarchs (sometimes based on real-world examples), using wacky heists and cons to bring down the rich and powerful. In one episode, the team’s clients want to reclaim their father’s prized Glimt piece that had been stolen in the Shoah and never returned, but aside from this and the throwaway lines and jokes standard for most mainstream television, there’s not a ton textually Jewish about Leverage. However, despite this, I have found that the show has strong resonance among Jewish fans, and lots of potential for analysis along Jewish themes. This tends to focus on one character in particular: the group’s brilliant, pop culture-savvy, and personable hacker, Alec Hardison, played by the phenomenally talented Aldis Hodge.

I can’t remember when or where I first encountered a reading of Hardison as Jewish, but not only is this a somewhat popular interpretation, it doesn’t feel like that much of a leap. In the show itself, Hardison has a couple of the aforementioned throwaway lines that potentially point to him being Jewish, even if they’re only in service of that moment’s grift. It’s hard to point to what exactly makes reading Hardison as Jewish feel so natural. My first guess is the easy way Hardison fits into the traditional paradigms of Jewish masculinity explored by scholars such as Daniel Boyarin (2). Most of the time, the hacker is not portrayed as athletic or physical; he is usually the foil to the team’s more physically-adept characters like fighter Eliot, or thief Parker. Indeed, Hardison’s strength is mental, expressed not only through his computer wizardry but his passions for science, technology, music, popular media, as well as his studious research into whatever scenario the group might come up against. In spite of his self-identification as a “geek,” Hardison is nevertheless confident, emotionally sensitive, and secure in his masculinity. I would argue he is representative of the traditional Jewish masculine ideal, originating in the rabbinic period and solidified in medieval Europe, of the dedicated and thoughtful scholar (3). Another reason for popular readings of Hardison as Jewish may be the desire for more representation of Jews of color. Although mainstream American Jewish institutions are beginning to recognize the incredible diversity of Jews in the United States (4), and popular figures such as Tiffany Haddish are amplifying the experiences of non-white Jews, it is still difficult to find Jews of color represented in popular media. For those eager to see this kind of representation, then, interpreting Hardison, a black man who places himself tangential to Jewishness, in this way is a tempting avenue.

Regardless, all of the above remains fan interpretation, and there was little in the text of the show that seriously tied Judaism into Hardison’s identity. At least, until we got this beautiful speech from Hardison in the very first episode of the renewed show, directed at the character of Harry Wilson, a former corporate lawyer looking to atone for the injustice he was partner to throughout his career:

“In the Jewish faith, repentance, redemption, is a process. You can’t make restitution and then promise to change. You have to change first. Do the work, Harry. Then and only then can you begin to ask for forgiveness. [...] So this… this isn’t the win. It’s the start, Harry.”

I was floored to hear this speech, and thrilled that it explained the reboot’s title, Leverage: Redemption. Although not mentioned by its Hebrew name, teshuvah forms the whole basis for the new season. Teshuvah is the concept of repentance or atonement for the sins one has committed. Stemming from the root shuv/shuva, it carries the literal sense of “return.” In a spiritual context, this usually means a return to G-d, of finding one’s way back to holiness and by extension good favor in the eyes of the Divine. But equally important is restoring one’s relationships with fellow humans by repairing any hurt one has caused over the past year. This is of special significance in the holy month of Elul, leading into Rosh haShanah, the Yamim Noraim, and Yom Kippur, but one can undertake a journey of redemption at any point in time. That teshuvah is a journey is a vital message for Harry to hear; one job, one reparative act isn’t enough to overturn years of being on the wrong side of justice, to his chagrin. As the season progresses, we get to watch his path of teshuvah unfold, with all its frustrations and consequences. Harry grows into his role as a fixer, not only someone who can find jobs and marks for the team, but fixes what he has broken or harmed.

So why was Hardison the one to make this speech?

I do maintain that it does provide a stronger textual basis for reading Hardison as Jewish by implication (though the brief on-screen explanation for why he knows about teshuvah, that his foster-parent Nana raised a multi-faith household, is important in its own merit, and meshes well with his character traits of empathy and understanding for diverse experiences). However, beyond this, Hardison isn’t exactly an archetypical model for teshuvah. In the original series, he was the youngest character of the main ensemble, a hacking prodigy in the start of his adult career, with few mistakes or slights against others under his belt. In one flashback we see that his possibly first crime was stealing from the Bank of Iceland to pay off his Nana’s medical bills, and that his other early hacking exploits were in the service of fulfilling personal desires, with only those who could afford to pay the bill as targets. Indeed, in the middle of his speech, Hardison points to Eliot, the character with the most violent and gritty past who views his work with the Leverage team as atonement, for a prime example of ongoing teshuvah. So while no one is perfect and everyone has a reason for doing teshuvah, this question of why Hardison is the one to give this series-defining speech inspired me to look at his character choices and behavior, and see how they resonate with a different but interrelated Jewish principle, that of tikkun olam.

Tikkun olam is literally translated as “repairing the world,” and can take many different forms, such as protecting the rights of vulnerable people in society, or giving tzedakah (5). In modern times, tikkun olam is often the rallying cry for Jewish social activists, particularly among environmentalists for whom literally restoring the health of the natural world is the key goal. Teshuvah and tikkun olam are intertwined (the former is the latter performed at an interpersonal level) and both hold a sense of fixing or repairing, but tikkun olam really revolves around a person feeling called to address an injustice that they may have not had a personal hand in creating. Hardison’s sense of a universal scale of justice which he has the power to help right on a global level and his newfound drive to do humanitarian work, picked up sometime after the end of the original series, make tikkun olam a central value for his character. This is why we get this nice bit of dialogue from Eliot to Hardison in the second episode of the reboot, when the latter’s outside efforts to organize international aid start distracting him from his work with the team: “Is [humanitarian work] a side gig? In our line of work, you’re one of the best. But in that line of work… you’re the only one, man.” The character who most exemplifies teshuvah reminds Hardison of his amazing ability to effect change for the better on a huge stage, to do some effective tikkun olam. It’s this acknowledgement of where Hardison can do the most good that prompts the character’s absence for the remainder of the episodes released thus far, turning his side gig into his main gig.

With this in mind, it will be interesting to see where Hardison’s arc for this season goes. Separated from the rest of the team, the hacker still has remarkable power to change the world, because it is, after all, the “age of the geek.” However, he is still one person. For all that both teshuvah and tikkun olam are individual responsibilities and require individual decision-making and effort, the latter especially relies on collective work to actually make things happen. Hardison leaving is better than trying to do humanitarian work and Leverage at the same time, but there’s only so long he can be the “only one” in the field before burning out. I’m reminded of one of the most famous (for good reason) maxims in Judaism:

It is not your duty to finish the work, but neither are you free to neglect it. (6)

Elul is traditionally a time for introspection and heeding the calls to repentance. After a year where it’s never been easier to feel powerless and drained by everything going on around us, I think it’s worth taking the time to examine what kind of work we are capable of in our own lives. Maybe it’s fixing the very recent and tangible hurts we’ve left behind, like Harry. Maybe it’s the little changes for the better that we make every day, motivated by our sense of responsibility, like Eliot. And maybe it’s the grueling challenge of major social change, like Hardison. And if any of this work gets too much, who can we fall back on for support and healing? Determining what needs repair, working on our own scale and where our efforts are most helpful, and thereby contributing to justice in realistic ways means that we can start the new year fresh, having contemplated in holiday fashion how we can be better agents in the world.

Shana tovah u’metukah and ketivah tovah to all (7), and may the work we do in the coming year be for good!

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(1) Disclaimer: everybody’s fandom experiences are different, and this is just what I’ve picked up on in my short time watching and enjoying this show with others.

(2) See, for example, the introduction and first chapter of Boyarin’s book Unheroic Conduct: The Rise of Heterosexuality and the Invention of the Jewish Man (I especially recommend at least this portion if you are interested in queer theory and Judaic studies). There he explores the development of Jewish masculinity in direct opposition to Christian masculine standards.

(3) I might even go so far as to place Hardison well within the Jewish masculine ideal of Edelkayt, gentle and studious nobility (although I would hesitate to call him timid, another trait associated with Edelkayt). Boyarin explains that this scholarly, non-athletic model of man did not carry negative associations in the historical Jewish mindset, but was rather the height of attractiveness (Boyarin, 2, 51).

(4) Jews of color make up 20% of American Jews, according to statistics from Be’chol Lashon, and this number is projected to increase as American demographics continue to change: https://globaljews.org/about/mission/.

(5) Tzedakah is commonly known as righteous charity. According to traditional authority Maimonides, it should be given anonymously and without embarrassment to the person in need, generous, and designed to help the recipient become self-sufficient.

(6) Rabbi Tarfon, Pirkei Avot, 2:16

(7) “A good and sweet year” and “a good inscription [in the Book of Life]”

#leverage #miko speaks #jewish stuff #jumblr #leverage redemption #spoilers #lr spoilers #leverage redemption spoilers #written for a non leverage audience because i want my rabbi to read it alskdjflaksdjf #elul

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cyhyr · 3 years

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Summer of Whump Day 15: Sleep Deprived

Fandom: Naruto

Rating: G

Pairing: Hatake Kakashi & Umino Iruka; Umino Iruka & Uzumaki Naruto

WC: ~3320

Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply

Notes: AU backstory for the purposes of I Wanted To.

A/N: This is just. I don't even know guys. I started writing and then it got bigger and bigger and I couldn't stop. It's just. A Lot.

Kakashi has not been able to take care of his sensei’s child the way he should, the way the boy admittedly deserves; and yes, absolutely, he takes that fault personally but also doesn’t do anything about it because really… what can he provide for this child besides instability? He’s hardly in the village anymore, though Sandaime has hinted that, if Kakashi asked, he could be assigned missions closer to home. Instead, Kakashi does what he can without bothering Naruto or letting the boy realize that he even exists. He ensures the bills are paid up in six-month increments, and has the utility companies know to charge to his personal account anything he misses due to being out on mission. He provides non-perishable groceries, placed in the pantry late at night every month or so: oats, rice, dried or tinned meats, beans and legumes. He’ll bring a small selection of vegetables with him at the same time, (no more than three or four items, so they don’t rot before Naruto feels obligated to eat them) usually pilfered from Gai’s garden so he knows they’re not poisoned.

And whenever he’s in the village, he makes a stop at Naruto’s apartment at least once to check in on the wards wrapped into the walls and window frames.

This is how he learns about Umino Iruka and the interest he’s taken in the village jinchūriki.

The wards when he gets to Minato’s son’s apartment this time are different. Odd. Not… well, actually, they might be stronger; Kakashi glances at the walls with the sharingan and finds himself mildly impressed. Whoever placed these wards knew about the ones Kakashi put up, and modified their own to augment and strengthen Kakashi’s.

Kakashi says modified because he’s seen these styles of wards before, but never used like this. The key in the front door jingles a bit, like the person unlocking the door knows Kakashi’s in here and is giving him time to leave. Kakashi takes the out for what it is and slips out the window, closing it quietly behind him. He stays plastered against the wall beside the window for a moment, however, wanting to get a glimpse of who’s taking care of his sensei’s kid in Kakashi’s stead.

The door opens and Naruto—gods, how old is he, seven? Eight?—barrels by the figure in the doorway with a grin and shoots straight for the pantry.

“Naruto-kun, take your sandals off first. I mopped for you just earlier this week, I’m not doing it again so soon.”

One arm balancing a paper bag of fresh groceries, a leather school bag over the same shoulder; hitai-ate and vest both neat, but his sleeves and pants legs are scuffed; and his fingers carry the faint dusting of chalk that hours of holding ingrains and a quick wash won’t wipe away. A teacher.

“Iruka-sensei, I can mop later; I’m hungry now!”

“I won’t ask you twice.” The man—this Iruka-sensei—walks barefoot through the apartment and sets the grocery bag down on the kitchen table. Naruto hangs his head and goes back to the door, and once he’s out of the room, Iruka looks at the window Kakashi is peeking in, scowling initially. The scowl lessens when he sees the Konoha ANBU mask, and he nods, but makes a slight shoo gesture.

“What’re we making tonight, sensei?” Naruto bounds back into the room, barefoot as his sensei.

“I’m thinking of teaching you breakfast for dinner,” Iruka says. “Miso soup, tamagoyaki, steamed salmon; how’s that sound?”

“Sounds great!”

“And if we make enough, you’ll have enough for the morning, too,” Iruka ruffles Naruto’s hair. “Go grab out the rice and we’ll get started, okay?”

Kakashi leaves. Iruka-sensei seems to have only good intentions.

Iruka is a new teacher, one that (if the very quiet rumors are to be believed) didn’t initially want to be the jinchūriki’s homeroom teacher. Something changed his mind, clearly, and now he’s spending every moment outside of class with the kid.

Every. Moment.

Kakashi notices the third time he’s in the village after meeting Iruka—notices how tired the man seems. He follows the teacher from just before dawn when he wakes up and heads out to Naruto’s apartment and fixes him breakfast. Kakashi watches Iruka herd Naruto around the apartment, brushing teeth, getting changed, gods Naruto where’s your homework I told you to put it right back in your bag last night after I helped you with it. Then they’re out the door and one of them locks the deadbolt while the other activates the wards (Iruka always double-checks the wards if Naruto does them) and they walk to the Academy together.

Iruka spends the day in the Academy staunchly refusing to play favorites. If Kakashi didn’t know that the man had made Naruto eat breakfast while searching for a clean shirt for the child to wear, he’d swear Naruto was Iruka’s least favorite student—based solely on the amount of yelling.

But the two of them have lunch together, talk and hang out during recess unless Iruka shoos him away to play, and then they walk together to either Iruka’s or Naruto’s apartment after school. Sometimes they’ll go out for ramen, or to one of the training grounds to work on a technique they started in class which Naruto needs more time to fully grasp. Iruka is a patient teacher, especially one-on-one, and even though Minato-sensei’s son doesn’t perform well on the tests in school he learns the techniques after class and gains the appropriate muscle memory.

Which is admittedly much more important than the grades Naruto earns. Iruka won’t say as much, but it’s obvious that he agrees when his teaching style puts emphasis on practicals rather than paper tests. Kakashi approves.

After a day of minding twenty-five ankle-biters, an afternoon of extra training for the village jinchūriki, and an evening of making sure Naruto is fed and happy and his homework is completed to the best of his ability, Iruka then helps Naruto get ready for bed. Against the kid’s token protests, they’ll read a story together (Kakashi suspects Iruka does this because Naruto’s reading skills are lacking, but he could also very well just be doing it because he enjoys it—the man’s motives are enigma to him) and Iruka will tuck Naruto in. He stays at the apartment until he knows Naruto is asleep, tidying up here and there or even just leaning in the bedroom doorway watching the jinchūriki’s chest rise and fall.

Only when Naruto’s asleep will Iruka leave, activating the wards and locking up after himself.

It took only two times of Kakashi watching these kinds of days go by before he realized that Iruka knew he had been watched all day. As he passes the tree outside of Naruto’s building, the only one that reaches high enough to afford a glance into his apartment, Iruka looks right up into the limbs where Kakashi is crouched, waves, and continues back to his own home.

(He had been underestimating Umino Iruka’s awareness. He’s intrigued.)

(But anyway.)

Once he’s home, Iruka rushes through grading and lesson plans and adjustments. He makes lunch for himself and Naruto for tomorrow. Cleans, if he remembers; showers, if he has any energy left. Then, Umino-sensei crashes hard around one or two in the morning.

All to start over again at five-thirty the next morning.

It can’t be sustainable. Kakashi is morbidly interested in how long Iruka planned to keep up this kind of schedule.

It starts out with checking out during lunch. Kakashi is lounging in the trees on the Academy grounds, pretending to read but listening intently to Naruto ramble on about some new topping Ichiraku is introducing on Friday and please Iruka-sensei can we go? Then the soft click of dropped chopsticks against a bento box made Kakashi look down to the pair sitting at the base of his tree.

“Iruka-sensei? Are you—?”

“Oh, I’m. I’m alright.” Iruka laughs it off, fumbling for his chopsticks. “I was just thinking too hard there.”

“You shouldn’t do that!”

“Hu—?”

“You tell me not to think too hard all the time,” Naruto pouts. “That I’ll hurt myself.”

Iruka’s laugh crinkles his eyes and he tips his head back. “Gods, Naruto, I’m sorry—no, not—um. Listen, forget it, okay? Ramen, on Friday, right?”

“YES!”

And it was forgotten. Except, Iruka is unconsciously rubbing his fingers together beside his hip and Kakashi can see it. Something happened to force the drop—likely, he lost feeling in his hand briefly.

Kakashi’s out of the village as it gets worse, but he hears all about it from Shikaku and Inoichi when he gets back. They’re in the hallway outside the Hokage’s office, talking in low tones like they were discussing an attack on the village.

“What could cause such a serious mood shift?”

“Genjutsu; one of the other teachers sabotaging him; another student practicing poorly.”

“Iruka-sensei?” Kakashi asks.

Both men look at him as he approaches. He’s still in his ANBU armor, but the mask is in his locker. It’s an open secret he’s in ANBU; only his codename is high-clearance.

Shikaku nods. “Shikamaru’s complaining about the man’s temper being shorter than usual.”

“My Ino confirmed this behavior shift. We’re understandably worried, if someone if trying to use an Academy teacher to attack the kids—”

Kakashi shakes his head. “It’s not that.”

“And you would know?” Shikaku prompts.

“He’s taking care of Naruto,” Kakashi shrugs. “It’s probably catching up with him, finally.”

“What is?” Inoichi looks honestly confused.

Kakashi tilts his head and then realizes. “Ah. That’s right. You’re both married. You have a way to share the responsibilities.”

Sakumo hadn’t ever been irate with him, but Kakashi can remember him being tired. He lifts his hand and walks away. “I’ll see if I can’t have a talk with Iruka-sensei,” he says, as though he speaks with the man on a regular basis instead of just waving back from his shadowed space in the tree at night when Iruka leaves Naruto.

He doesn’t get a chance to talk to Iruka for weeks. When he gets back, it finally comes to a head.

Kakashi is perched outside Iruka’s apartment where he and Naruto are preparing their dinner. Naruto, still talking a mile a minute, hardly notices that Iruka is dazed at the counter, his hands going through the motions of peeling carrots and separating pieces of broccoli without being fully cognizant. He’s much paler than the last time Kakashi peeked in on them—all except for the bags under his eyes; those couldn’t get much darker if they were black.

He flinches forward as Iruka drifts to the side. Naruto catches his teacher before Kakashi can take a step, and the clang of a knife hitting the floor is more than a little startling. Together, they stick Iruka’s hand under running water from the tap, and then Naruto disappears further into the apartment and returns a few seconds later with a first aid kit.

“What was that about, Iruka-sensei?”

Iruka takes a bit to answer. “I haven’t been sleeping well,” he says. “I’m a bit tired, that’s all. Sorry.”

“You don’t need to apologize,” Naruto says. He finishes caring for his sensei and then says, “How about I go get some take-out, and then we can clean up and you can go to bed?”

Iruka smiles tiredly. “We can bring the take-out to your place, okay? I’ll clean up when I come back home.”

“But—”

“It’s okay, Naruto,” Iruka puts his unbandaged hand in Naruto’s hair. “I’d rather make sure you’re fed and well-rested for school tomorrow. That’s what's important.”

“You’re important, too, sensei,” Naruto says.

Kakashi can’t help but agree.

“Let’s go get some ramen, and we can argue about this later.”

Kakashi flashes away to Ichiraku to put in their order and pay. It’s the least he can do, right?

Later that night, Iruka leaves Naruto’s apartment and like always, lifts his head to wave up at Kakashi in the tree. Only, his eyes roll back with the movement of lifting his head and his knees collapse under him and Kakashi makes it just in time to keep the sensei’s head from hitting the ground. He catches Iruka with one hand under his back and the other cupped behind his head and eases him down against his raised knee.

As soon as Iruka is horizontal, his eyes flutter back open. “Oh, ANBU-san,” he mutters. He’s dazed and foggy, but tries to stand up on his own anyway.

“Sensei, are you well?” Kakashi asks, knowing the answer but needing Iruka to admit it.

Iruka waves him away. “I’m fine, I’m fine. Just a little tired.”

It’s more than that if you’re slipping into micro-sleep, Kakashi thinks, but lets the man stubbornly stand up. He’s still holding his hands out, ready to catch him again, when after five paces Iruka tips sideways and falls again. Kakashi keeps him upright this time, arms tight around his waist and back.

Iruka stays under for a few seconds this time, and when he wakes he leans more heavily into Kakashi’s armor and groans. “What’s happening?” he murmurs.

Normally, he would stay and look after Naruto all night, but this seems more important. “Umino-sensei, I’m going to see you to the hospital now,” he says.

“But… Naruto?”

Because of course Iruka figured out that Kakashi—his ANBU persona at least—stays close to Naruto at all times. “Together, our wards are top-notch, sensei,” Kakashi says. “He’ll be okay for a night.” He slips Iruka onto his back, pulling his arms over his shoulders. Iruka’s light breath huffs past his ear as he says, “Hold on.” Then, they’re gone.

Iruka wakes up much later, Naruto tipped against his hospital bed, snoring. He feels so much better after however many hours of sleep he’s gotten. He wonders briefly why he’s here, and where the ANBU that brought him here is. If Naruto is here, that ANBU is likely closeby. Iruka lets out a jaw-cracking yawn and settles back down on the pillow to sleep some more.

When he wakes up the second time, it’s because he has to pee so bad oh gods. It’s night time and Naruto is gone—Iruka tries not to feel disappointed. His legs shake under him when he tries to stand to get to the restroom; whatever’s wrong with him, it’s making him weak as a newborn but he will not embarrass himself by not making it to the toilet. He pushes chakra through his legs, and, finally, blissfully, makes it.

He gets a good look at himself in the mirror as he’s washing his hands. His eyes are puffy and red, but he has some color back in his skin. His hair could use a wash and some heavy conditioning—he hadn’t had time for that in awhile. All in all, it’s not bad; but he’s still wondering why he’s here.

Iruka leaves the restroom and is halfway across the room to his bed when his chakra flares unexpectedly. He stumbles, collapses, and feels his eyes blur and begin to roll back.

Before his head can hit the tile, he’s caught and cushioned by Naruto’s ANBU. The ANBU gently picks him up, one arm under his knees and the other around his back, and it’s like Iruka weighs nothing as the ANBU stands and carries him back to bed.

“Thank-you, ANBU-san,” Iruka says, flushed. “I promise I’m not usually so weak.”

The ANBU fusses with the blanket and covers Iruka back up. He (Iruka assumes they’re a he, the voice and height lead him to believe it but he’s been wrong before) seems frustrated, in the way that ANBU show frustration: by being busy, and then by being absolutely still. He’ll make sure the water pitcher is full, and then stand silently by the window for a few seconds. Pace the width of the room from window to door and back, and then stand at the end of the bed.

“What’s going on, ANBU-san? Is Naruto—?”

“Uzumaki-kun is safe, healthy, and well-cared for,” the ANBU says, cutting him off. “You are a godsend to this village, if only to care for the uncared for.”

Iruka glowers. “Someone had to do it. He’s seven years old and living alone and has lived alone his entire life. I couldn’t—”

“I’m aware,” the ANBU holds up a hand to stop his rant. “Believe me, if I could have done more, I would have. But an ANBU is no role model, especially not me. I’m glad he’s had you. That said.” The ANBU somehow matched Iruka’s glower through the mask; he was suddenly glad for all the time spent in Sandaime’s office around the ANBU that he can pick up on these micro-aggressions for what they are.

Iruka folds his arms and waits for the ANBU to continue.

After a heavy sigh, the ANBU says, “Sleep deprivation.”

“I—what?”

“What you’re here for. You’ve been running yourself into the ground, sensei. You slept for twenty-two hours, and you’re still not fully recovered. The medics say it could take up to a week of proper sleep for you to feel normal again.”

Iruka flushes and ducks his head. “I… But, that doesn’t…”

“How much sleep have you been getting? Three, Four hours a night? And then you’re exhausting yourself all day looking after pre-genin and then Naruto.” The ANBU folds his arms. “This isn’t sustainable.”

“I know that. I just.” Iruka groans. “I don’t have time for—” He scrubs both hands across his eyes. Now that he’s actually gotten some sleep he’s really tired. “No one else takes care of him, not the way he needs it; he’s just a kid! It bothers me enough that he lives by himself—”

“Your immune system was compromised when you arrived, sensei.” The ANBU snapped, quieting Iruka’s tirade. “Who’s going to take care of Naruto the way he deserves if you’re stuck on your back with a perfectly, normally treatable form of the flu? What will happen to him if you critically injure yourself due to a micro-sleep at an inopportune time and find yourself off-roster for weeks? What then, sensei?”

The silence is heavy. Iruka picks at a stray thread in the blanket on his lap.

“I don’t know,” he answers, his voice small. “I didn’t… I wasn’t thinking that far ahead, I guess.”

The ANBU nods. “At least you’re aware now.”

There’s a long, awkward pause as Iruka wonders what else there is to say.

“You have a spare room in your apartment, yes?” the ANBU breaks the silence.

Iruka nods, slowly, not sure where this is going.

“Maybe…” the ANBU continues slowly, “maybe changes in Naruto’s living arrangements can be made. If Naruto were living with you, could you agree to a better sleep schedule—one with which you can better take care of yourself and Naruto?”

Iruka could kiss this man.

“Yes! Yes, please, I’ll—yes! I’ll take him, even if it means I have to lose him as a student, I’d take him as a foster.”

The ANBU chuckles. “I’ll speak with the Hokage. If he says no, well… There’s nothing saying that Naruto himself can’t choose where he lives, is there?” Then his micro-aggression is back, leaning over the foot of the bed with his arms wide. “My only stipulation is that you take better care of yourself. A sick guardian can’t very well keep up with any child, let alone a jinchūriki.”

Iruka nods. “Deal.” He covers a yawn with his palm and asks, “Can this taking care of myself clause start now, with me asking you to leave so I can go back to sleep?”

“I’m not leaving,” the ANBU says, standing back up straight. “If you’re to be the guardian of our jinchūriki, you’ll need to get used to the ANBU guard, sensei. But please, get some sleep.” He chuckles lightly, “I think I’ve caught you enough in the last thirty-six hours, don’t you?”

#summerofwhump #summerofwhump15 #sleep deprived #fanfic #hatake kakashi #umino iruka #uzumaki naruto #my writing

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wondernimbus · 4 years

Text

forgive and forget — harry potter

pairing: harry potter x female!reader

prompt: “kill everything dear to you and then you will know how it feels.”

t/w: mentions of death

a/n: this is set a year after the battle of hogwarts! wrote this at 1am n havent proofread it so chances are it sucks but i’m posting it anyway bc you only live once am i right folks

In the darkness and silence of a winter's night, the water is eerily calm—too calm, almost, with a foreboding feeling hanging over it. At the edge of the lake stands a girl whose heart has long since grown much too cold to feel anything but the wide, gaping void inside of her chest. She doesn't shiver; just stands there, holding her wand at her side, gaze fixed on the reflection of the moonshine against the shapeless water, waiting.

And waiting.

And when the figure appears from behind her—a loud, almost deafening snap in the complete and utter silence of the woods, she doesn't turn around right away.

Instead, she twirls her wand in her hand, frowning down at the lake as though expecting something to break through the calm surface and swallow her whole, carry her down into its depths and leave her somewhere deep, deep down, away from the rest of the world.

Thinking about it now, it doesn't sound that bad.

"Did you miss me?" are the first words that leave her mouth since having arrived there. Her voice is as dangerously calm as the lake. Just as foreboding—and it sounds like a warning.

But Harry doesn't heed it. Instead, he stands there, a mere five feet away, watching as she turns around, slowly, to face him.

The last thing he expects is for her to look at him the way she used to. He doesn't expect her to run toward him, take him in her arms, and hug him the way she used to, long ago.

Harry should be prepared for this. But when her gaze meets his and he makes out her eyes in the darkness, cold and unforgiving and void of any emotion, he can't help the way he sucks in a breath, how his heart clenches inside of his chest.

A strange chill settles over him. Sickness; something horrible swelling up in the pit of his stomach as he stares at the girl in front of him. It's not just the look in her eyes that is different. Her hair is cleaner. Shorter. More mature, tucked behind her ears and down her back. Without it framing her face, Harry's eyes are free to roam over the rest of her face, which is gaunt and sunken; there are bags under her eyes so deep he starts to debate whether or not he's looking at a corpse.

It's like seeing a memory that has haunted Harry for decades, when in reality it has only been a year. He knows that face like the back of his hand: her eyes, dark and barely crinkled at the corners. that nose, those careful lips. She is older, but so is Harry. She is a stranger in so many ways, but Harry would know her anywhere.

"[Y/N]," he breathes out, throat tight. His fingers grip even tighter around the wand inside his coat pocket. There's an undeniable sense of fear—dread—coiling around his heart. She stares at him, eyes still hard as ever.

And then her lips tug up at the edges. Her smile is bitter. It's the first real trace of emotion she has let slip, and Harry wonders if he should feel relieved that [Y/N] is still human and capable of feeling. Even if she is angry.

The worst part is that Harry can't blame her.

"I'm sorry," he says, voice barely a whisper.

The smile grows. Suddenly she's laughing—cold, harsh bursts of laughter with no real humor to it. Harry clenches his jaw, watching her. His heart is pounding erratically in his chest; he doesn't know if it's because he senses she's near and yearns for her, the person who it used to beat for, or if it's because it's scared of her.

Oh, how things have changed.

"Sorry?" she repeats, her laughter fading away into the night, replaced by a deadly sort of tension that now hangs above them. "Sorry?"

Harry feels sweat trickle down the side of his temple.

"You're sorry." Her voice is laced thick with equal parts mockery, disbelief, and anger. But even then her eyes are cold and blank as ever.

Since when had she gotten so good at hiding what she truly felt?

"I don't know what else you want me to say," says Harry through gritted teeth, hand tightening around his wand.

Her lips curl. She stares at him for a few moments, unspeaking, and then she nods. "You're right," she says curtly, turning once more to look at the lake behind her. "You know what, Harry? You're right. You killed my parents and walked away from it like it was nothing. There really isn't much else to say other than you're sorry."

He swallows. He can't feel guilty. He can't. "I'm sorry," he says again, unable to hide the way his voice trembles from frustration. Or is it fear? He can't quite tell anymore. "But I did what I had to do. They worked for Voldemort—"

"So you killed them," [Y/N] says, tone ominously void of emotion. "With no regard for their real motive. Without bothering to listen—"

"I had no choi—"

"And realize that they did it to protect their children." When she whips around, Harry sees that her facade of calm has slipped away completely—instead there is pure, unadulterated anger flaring in her eyes. "You say you had no choice but neither did they."

"They were Death Eaters," says Harry, taking a deep breath through his nose, sounding like he's trying to convince himself more than her. "It hardly mattered why they went to Voldemort's side. What mattered was that they did."

She scowls and takes a step forward. Angry eyes boring into his, she hisses, "Did it matter to you that I loved them?"

Harry's fingers feel cold, his neck too hot, the air pressing into him from all sides. He can't feel guilty.

He can't.

"It had to be done," he says flatly, fighting to maintain her gaze. He wonders if he's imagining the way her eyes seem to be glistening with tears. "I'm sorry. I know you loved them but it had to be done."

Harry is right; when she blinks and turns away, he doesn't miss the bead of liquid that rolls down the side of her cheek. All of a sudden he finds himself wanting to leave—to apparate away before he can hear any more. Because this is something that has haunted him for a long, long time, and even then, it is only now that he realizes he isn't quite ready to face it yet.

But here he is now, anyway, standing in front of the girl who once loved him and who he once loved—and maybe part of him still does, even after everything. But Harry knows better than to fool himself into thinking he can have her again.

Not after what he did.

Harry inhales. With difficulty, he keeps his eyes on hers despite the need to tear them away. To turn away and never once look back. But he has to do this now—it's his only chance to finally put an end to all the conflict that has been bothering him ever since he last saw her.

"I know it feels like you'd be turning your back on them if you moved on," Harry begins. This time his voice doesn't shake. "But they're gone. I'm sorry, [Y/N]—"

"Don't call me that."

"Your parents are gone," he repeats. He sees her trying to harden her gaze again—trying to build her walls back up—but she fails, lips pinching. Harry knows it means she's trying to hold her tears back. "They made the wrong choices and they suffered for it. I know what it feels like to lose people you love, but—"

"Do you know what the difference is between you and me?" she cuts him off. Her lips are trembling, angry tears spilling onto her cheeks. "It's that you picked yourself back up, even after you lost people. But I didn't. I haven't. And I don't think I ever will."

Harry feels his heart squeeze into itself inside of his chest.

He's fighting a losing battle. She isn't listening; she's too far gone.

"Do it again." Miraculously, despite the tears on her cheeks and the anguish in her voice, she still sounds ruthlessly angry. "Lose the people you love again. Kill everything dear to you again and then you will know how it feels."

Harry watches as she heaves in a deep, shuddering breath. He doesn't try to say anything anymore—knows that nothing he will say can ever truly heal her.

And with one last pained, scathing look, [Y/N] apparates away.

He never sees her again.

general taglist: @dancing-in-the-moonlight3 @kalimagik @alittletoomanyobsessions @hariosborn @obsessedwithrandomthings @emcchi @sxrensxngwrites @enjoying-fantasyland21 @masterofthedarkness @siriusly-addicted-to-writing @bforbroadway @hufflefluff-writer @summer-writes @chaotic-fae-queen @firewhisky-kisses @dracosvftie @heloisedaphnebrightmore @idont-knowrn @dreamer821 @peachesandpinks @slytherinprincess03 @chocfrogaddict @nebulablakemurphy @kpopgirlbtssvt

harry potter taglist: @teheharrypotter

#harry potter #harry potter oneshot #harry potter imagine #harry potter oneshots #harry potter imagines #harry potter x reader #harry potter x you #harry potter x y/n #harry potter fanfiction #harry potter fanfic

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ghostofskywalker · 2 years

Text

writer q&a tag

i was tagged by @a-reader-and-a-writer for this, thank you!!!

i’m putting this under a cut because it’s really long :)

i’m too lazy to tag, so open tags!

1) How many complete fics/one shots do you have (that you have not published yet)? none! i’m in school right now and it takes me a lot longer to finish fics because i have homework, so i rarely get a chance to keep fics in the wings like that. during the summer though, especially as the marvel xreader fanfiction fest and peggysous week roll around, that number will definitely go up!

2) How many WIPS do you have right now? in terms of fics i have physically started but not finished, one. i can’t jump around too much so i try to focus on a few things at a time, and right now that goal is finishing my latest bucky series before i can start my next agent carter bingo fic.

3) Do you take writing requests or write original ideas, or both? both!! i take requests sometimes, but if i get too overwhelmed i will close them. i’m looking to do some kind of request collection with song prompts in late spring, as long as i finish some other stuff first! a lot of my fics are written for events too.

4) If you do take requests, how many do you currently have? one, a loki academic rivals au! if you know baseball terms, it’s “in the hole” in terms of writing order :)

5) How many fandoms do you write for? 6 right now!! they are: marvel, agent carter (i know it’s marvel but it’s better than regular marvel so i consider it separate), star wars, the suicide squad, knives out, the x files

6) Are there any fandoms you wrote for in the past that you no longer write for? yes. i used to be an rpf writer for another fandom a long time ago but now i don’t really vibe with the concept of rpf.

7) Do you write for ships, reader inserts or other? reader inserts and ships! i’m not really an oc person, even when i read.

8) Niche fandoms/characters you write for? the characters from agent carter are my most niche i think. that fandom tends to be ship focused rather than xreader focused, but there are still a decent number of people out there looking for xreaders with those characters, who have expressed their interest in those fics. also the show as a whole is criminally underrated

9) Do you read fics as well as write them? not as much as i’d like to tbh. i have a hard time finding fics to read on tumblr (there is so. much. smut. on here) so i tend to go to ao3 first because of the filtering options, but even then i feel like i never have the time.

10) What is your favorite genre to write for? okay so my favorite genre to write is what i’ve referred to as “good for her,” and that usually is like mob/generally more violent fics. i love a good mob au but most of them out there are smut (which i don’t read) or modern (i’m a historical au girlie when it comes to mob fics) so it’s kind of a “write what you want to see” situation.

11) What is your favorite trope (to read/write)? enemies to lovers, but specifically coupled with another trope like one bed, marriage of convenience, undercover as lovers, etc

12) What do you do to get motivated to write? i have a pretty long drive to school, so i tend to think of fic ideas then (when i’m not giving world tour caliber concerts on the highway). i also try not to let my mind wander when i’m cooking anymore, after i’ve nearly burned myself because i got a fic epiphany.

13) Is there a trope/genre you like to read, but not write? i am a slut for an unhappy ending fic. major character death, irreconcilable breakup, tragic accident, you name it- i’ve read it. i do like writing that stuff too, but i try not to do so too often because i like to have variety in what i write.

14) Any characters/fandoms you want to write for that are never requested? yes and no, this is something that changes all the time!! sam wilson and peggy carter are the ones that come to mind right now though :)

15) How long have you been writing fanfiction? i only started posting on tumblr in may of 2020, but i’ve been writing since 2016 (when i was 15!). all of the stuff available on the internet is from 2019 and on though.

16) Did you read fan fiction before you started writing? i started reading marvel fanfic in spring 2018, after i binged all the movies from start to finish, but i didn’t pick up writing marvel fic until fall of 2019, when i started college. i used to read and write before that, but there was a period of time where i was taking a hiatus/exiting another fandom, so it doesn’t really count in my eyes.

17) Do you only post on Tumblr, or any other sites as well? i post on ao3 and wattpad as well (under the username starlightpeggy if it’s reader-insert, and my ao3 for ship fics is fandomsandxfiles, same as my primary tumblr blog).

18) What do you personally consider the word counts of "Drabble", "One shots" and "fics"? i have a very specific scale for fic identification!! a lot of my influence on this has come from the x files fandom, which is a much older fandom, so i know it’s different than a lot of my mutuals who only have experiences in younger fandoms like marvel.

drabble: exactly 100 words. no more, no less.

double drabble: exactly 200 words, no more no less.

blurb: less than 500 words and not a drabble/double drabble

ficlet: between 500-1000 words.

one shots: over 1000 words

i don’t really use the term “fic” to describe any specific type of writing, just as a general term.

19) Which do you prefer to write more? HC, drabbles, oneshots/fics, multi chapter stories, other? i am a one shot girl. i like that they’re short and sweet but also long enough to hold a whole storyline, and then i can quickly bounce between concepts without leaving people hanging for updates.

20) Are there any stories you have discontinued? If so, why? i had one multichapter fic that i discontinued, but then came back to it a year later. now, i don’t post any multichapter fic i don’t intend to update less than once a week, and if it’s 5 chapters or more, i won’t post the first chapter until i’m at least done with chapter 3 and working on chapter 4, or if i’m done with the fic altogether.

21) What is one of your main "pet-peeves" as a writer on Tumblr? people who cry about their fics not getting recognition and guilt their followers into giving them feedback, especially if they have more notes than a lot of other writers. it’s really only rampant for a small group of characters, and i’ve actually noticed a drop in notes for fics with those characters since the posts started making their way around. now obviously correlation doesn’t always equal causation, but i really think those posts actually do more harm than good.

my opinion on the matter is this: reblogs are truly the best way to support writers you like, but at the end of the day you can’t force anyone to put something on their blog that they don’t want to. once you realize that, writing gets a whole lot more fun.

22) Do you write a particular time of day? mostly at night! i try to have all my stuff done by dinner time, so after dinner i can just write/relax until i go to bed.

23) Do you listen to music, ambiance/noise, etc to write or do you need silence? it really depends, but i like to listen to music when i write, or at least like a soothing instrumental meditation from youtube.

24) Do you outline your fics at all before writing? it depends on the length of the fic!! i don’t outline short stuff, but i try to for long one shots or multichapter stuff.

25) Do you post your writing as soon as you finish it, or do you schedule it to come out at a specific time/day? after i finish a fic, i set it aside for anywhere from 1 day to 3 weeks before i edit it, and the time it sits will depend on like if the fic has a due date, how many other fics i have on deck already, etc. i like to post all my fics at around the same time, so i usually schedule it between 7-8 pm EST to stay consistent. if it’s a fic that i only put on ao3 (i really only do this for ship fics, which people don’t really follow me for) and i just put an announcement and a link here, then i post it whenever i want.

#ghostofskywalker.tag

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tophersong · 3 years

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I find it harder and harder to motivate myself to write down what’s been happening in my life and the thoughts in my head down on tumblr.

I am reminded of how much things can change in such little time.

It is now September 7th 2021.

Since my last couple of posts, a lot has happened. A lot of things in different areas of my life.

My first batch of students graduated from middle school. Those students were so precious to me and I wouldn’t have taken any other class of students to be my first. They really taught me how to persevere, how much there is to a student, and so many other odd things. They showed me that I should always believe in them, even when they might not be the best at math, they all have something to offer to a lesson.

It might sound strange, but the students who didn’t pass the year and went to summer school have a more special place in my heart. They might not have tried much during the year but they sure did put in the effort during the summer. It hasn’t been an easy year for anybody and I could clearly see it in those students. But still, they persevered and all are now graduated.

Since then, I have been offered a full time position as an 8th grade math teacher at the same school. I knew it would happen but there was still such a great relief when I received that first email. My life has been on all sorts of weird tracks ever since I graduated college .... 6 years ago but I finally feel some sort of stability. I never realized how much I wanted stability. My housing situation never really felt safe since I was in middle school and I guess that feeling seeped into my every day life. But now I have it for the most part. I might still be terribly in debt but I have a stable income, summer vacations, and a peace I didn’t know I was looking for.

But apart from that, things at church don’t feel too stable. We no longer have a youth pastor for the senior high students. While our last pastor trained the staff to be pretty self-sufficient, it still feels a bit unnerving to be able to lead these kids for so long without the staff getting proper guidance. We had a lot of fun over the summer with the students because that’s what we know how to do but as the school year starts, I do wish our students had something more stable that they could lean on.

And the final update I would say is that I’m feeling more open when it comes to looking for ... a future spouse? I’ve always tried to close myself off but I guess I’m more open to t he thoughts of dating now. It feels weird after having been single for so long. I think what really started off these thoughts of mine was a certain spotify playlist that I created recently.

I labeled the playlist, songs that make me believe love exists. I don’t know what prompted me to create the playlist but I realized eventually that I could only add 3 songs to it. I tried so hard to see if I could find any other songs that would help me believe that love exists but no song seemed to fit. I then realized that the only reason that I couldn’t find any more songs is because the songs that I had were all songs that made me think of the last girl that I liked. It felt like such a special type of crush because I haven’t felt that way for any other girl before. I’m usually very calculative when it comes to who I like. I have to like them for a specific reason. But this girl, there was just this moment when I felt that I had to be with her. The wording might not sound right, but she just felt so pretty to me at that moment.

Granted, things didn’t work out with her and I thought that I was over her but turns out that I wasn’t. The playlist reminded me of that. I think that once I was able to identify that feeling, it helped me begin the process of moving on.

I’m honestly so excited and nervous for this upcoming year. I know that it will be a hard year. There seems to already be everything against me. First full year teacher with students who haven’t been in the school since March 2020, leading a whole bunch of high schoolers without a proper pastor, looking for my first relationship pretty much ever. Honestly. it sounds like a lot on paper but I don’t feel worried.

I think one lesson that seems to keep repeating in my life is that things will always turn out ok, which reminds me of the bible verse God works for the good of all those who love Him. I don’t know how things will be, the future is always unsure, but I know things will always work out.

Here’s to the next academic year.

Next update, end of 2021?

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hb-writes · 3 years

Note

Hello I've become obsessed with your entire vibe. Here are some questions love! ❤

3. Name a fanfic/story you are particularly proud of writing.

9. Care to share a sneak peek of a WIP?

10. What frustrates you the most as a writer?

17. If there’s one thing you could tell your readers, what would it be?

22. Care to share any future WIP ideas you have lined up?

Hi and thank you. 🥺 I give off some decidedly not good (😅) vibes at times IRL so I’m glad the ones given off here are at least amusing.

3. Name a fanfic/story you are particularly proud of writing.

I’m so proud of Little Lady Blinder in general. It’s just my pride and joy, like Clara is literally my child and I love her more than Tommy does and I’ve put so much into the character and the story over the last 3 years.

I’m also proud of pushing myself out of my writing comfort zone, so I’ve been really proud of what is coming out of those! I Don’t Want to Be Alone with Polly and Clara was so hard to write and I think it turned out pretty well.

I also love what I did with Tidy Sums, because it’s romance and not my usual type of thing, but I love writing John and it just sort of happened.

9. Care to share a sneak peek of a WIP?

Clara pushed off the covers, loathing every drafty second after she got out from under them, missing the lush carpeting at Arrow House as her bare feet moved over the dusty chilled hardwood. She grumbled to herself as she moved down the steps. If she was at Tommy’s house, Clara would never be answering the door at this time of night, or at any time at all for that matter.

And if Clara hadn’t known exactly who it was on the opposite side of the door, she’d not be answering it now either, not in the dead of night when she was on Watery Lane by herself. It was one of those things trained into her when she was young, that anyone who had business coming through that particular door would have a key or know where to find one.

It was a conservative list, the people who held a key to number 6, limited to those who had at one time or another lived within the building’s four walls, just seven individuals, all of whom bore the name Shelby. A few more had been afforded keys to the shop--Lizzie and Esme, Scudboat and the cousins, Nipper and Henry--but not even Michael had been offered a set of keys to number 6. It was just one of those things that Tommy and Polly had decided on with a bit of eye contact and it had never been spoken of again.

10. What frustrates you the most as a writer?

The fact that I’ve given myself carpal tunnel this past year is probably the biggest frustration as a writer and human being in general. I have to do a lot of writing for my job (yay progress notes and reports) and this past year has just been awful because my workload is out of control and working from home is not at all ergonomic and yeah... There are a lot of times when I want to write, feel motivated and inspired and all that, but I physically can’t because of varying levels of pain in both hands/ wrists.

17. If there’s one thing you could tell your readers, what would it be?

I adore you. I appreciate you so so so much. I write because I’d explode if I didn’t, but I love that it can be meaningful to other people and it’s great for me to know that it’s meaningful to the readers in some way. If the writing was able to improve someone’s day by just a bit, I consider that a win. And I just love having you all part of my little internet community. It’s nice to have you all.

22. Care to share any future WIP ideas you have lined up?

I should just share my spreadsheet. lol. I have the whole summer pretty much planned out with the angst prompts, bridgerton appreciation week, and the peaky blinders summer bingo. I can talk a little about the angst prompt for Carlisle as I’ve been spending a lot of time with it recently. The prompt is I take it back. I didn't mean it, and it’s going to be focused on Mia learning some more about how she came to be part of the Cullen family and touch on some of her doubts around being “adopted” and so different from her family. It’s definitely angst, but it’s Carlisle and I’m a little exhausted from the straight angst, so this one will have a little comfort too.

Thanks for the ask!

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sagemoderocklee · 3 years

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2020 has been a weird fucking year, to put it mildly. There have been a lot of ups and downs, and with New Year’s Eve and the start of 2021 upon us, focusing on the ~positive~ seemed like a better way to end the year, and hopefully start 2021 feeling inspired and proud for overcoming this horrendous year.

For many people, it was difficult--even impossible--to get anything done this year (myself included), and that’s okay! But if you were able to make progress on writing projects, even if it was just one or even if it was just part of one, you should celebrate that! I wish I’d thought of this sooner and organized it better, but regardless I wanted to celebrate my own accomplishments with regards to my writing, and encourage others to do the same! I was going to tag people, but I’m not sure with it being 2 hours til midnight for me if that would feel like putting too much pressure on others, so if you want to do this too please do!

This wrap up is honestly just a self-indulgent look back on the works I’ve made and what I learned/gained from each, maybe what I don’t like about them, some totaling on what I did, and some resolutions for the next year. It’s silly, but I think it’s kinda fun and if you missed any of the things I have posted this year, you’ll find them here!

2020 Fic Wrap Up:

Kado: Parts II+III (COMPLETED)

Kado was started in September of 2019 for the @puregaalee summer event. This was a last minute thing that I started the day the prompt was due and managed to write the first part in about 6 hours while sitting in a cafe--remember that? Sitting in cafes? Man, I miss that. I hadn’t anticipated working on Kado, but I decided that I was going to finish it this year, and I’m honestly amazed that I did. This fic is sweet and fun, and surprisingly popular, though it isn’t my favorite of my works. However, it is a light, fluffy little romcom modern AU, and I learned a lot with it because despite my struggles with modern AUs and their horrible lack of political intrigue, this fic forced me to work within set parameters. I was only writing a 3 part story, and each part could only be 9 scenes long. For those unfamiliar, kado is another term for Ikebana, and in Ikebana there are specific elements to follow. Certain styles will only use three branches, some will use nine. So my goal was for the structural elements of the fic to mimic Ikebana. In doing this, I was able to do something I don’t usually do, which is keep this story more concise.

I’m still not sure how I personally feel about the ending, but I think endings are always a struggle, especially with something like this.

Gate of Dreaming (COMPLETED)

This is a fic that I started last year, then left to sit untouched with only 2k words. Getting back into it was a bit difficult because I was writing something very different from my usual: stream of consciousness. This fic was very experimental for me not only because of the stream of consciousness, but also because of the changing tenses. This was another exercise--unexpected though it was--in brevity. With this particular story, it couldn’t be dragged on and on, because--despite the 100 year time span--the events take place within the Infinite Tsukuyomi. This was also the first time I’d worked from Lee’s PoV in quite some time, so that was fun because I do enjoy writing him, but usually write from Gaara’s PoV. This is definitely one of my favorites from this year, and since it had been sitting on the back burner for so long, I’m so excited that I could finally get it done.

Another one where the ending really wasn’t easy to achieve, but I did end up liking it more than I expected, and I think the best thing is that it’s open-ended which leaves room for others to guess at what the future holds.

It Eats Your Heart (WIP)

This was an unexpected fic for me in every way imaginable. Starting another fic? Making another modern AU? Tackling the horror genre? None of those were things I’d planned to do this year, but lo and behold, that’s just what I did. I really enjoy a good bit of horror, but it is NOT an easy genre to work within, and this fic has definitely been a push for me. But with it being such a push, the payoff is far more. Stepping out of my comfort zone is something I like doing, but I think this is the biggest step outside of that and I am so incredibly proud of how that first chapter turned out because of it. I was really able to surprise myself with this fic, and I am hoping to update the next chapter early on in the year.

Absolution (WIP)

This fic is probably the second oldest idea/longest unpublished fic I currently have up. Formerly a much longer title, the idea for this fic came to me in May of 2017 when a friend, @brianadoesotherjunk / @brianadoesart, posted a piece of GaaLee fanart that sparked inspiration. The fic took off, morphed into something much bigger than the one scene depicted by the art, and now 3 years later, the first part is up. Initially, this was meant to be a long shot, but after sitting with this for so long, I realized that I needed to split it up into 9 parts, which allowed me to use this for GaaLee bingo and finally publish it. Much of the first part was already written before this year, but I’d been quite stuck on it until now. This is actually probably one of my favorite GaaLee concepts to date. I remember back in the day, there weren’t a lot of different takes on getting Lee to Suna so he and Gaara could fall in love, so (at the risk of sounding cocky) I think that Lee as a nanny is rather inspired. I think with this fic, I pushed myself the hardest to get past the hurdle of writer’s block and accepted that publishing is probably the best way to motivate myself to keep going. The feedback for this fic has been really motivating, so I think I’m probably right about that.

I do think there are some parts in the middle or towards the end that could maybe use some tightening up, but I’m just happy to finally have this fic out in the world.

The Art of Love: Chapter 11 (WIP)

TAoL is such a ridiculous labor of love. The chapters for this fic are novellas in and of themselves, so each time I update it takes a lot of work to get them out. This fic is one of those like magnum opus type fics. I have put so much into it, and I’m honestly amazed that it’s only been up for 3 years because I’m approaching the halfway mark on it, and I don’t think I expected to be there by now. Despite being able to churn out 30k chapters, I have a hard time focusing on one thing and I often struggle with mental health related writer’s block, so big works are always sort of sporadic in their updates.

This particular update of TAoL was definitely one of my favorites though. Initially, I didn’t plan to go the sort of dark fantasy rout that I did with Shikamaru, but I actually really love what I’ve done with him, though I worry others won’t be as into it or that the execution isn’t quite there. One thing I would like to work on with future chapters of TAoL, however, is maybe pairing things down a bit--though I’m not sure that’ll always be possible. The next chapter is a Naruto PoV chapter, though, so I expect that one to be a MUCH shorter chapter than the last three and should be able to get it out sometime next year.

Before I could publish this chapter, however, I did go through and make some big changes, which is something I often struggle with because of such long breaks in between working on certain projects. I will say, though, that TAoL continues to push me to greater heights as a writer, and I look forward to actually finishing this fic someday.

Thirteen Strokes: 1 + 2 (WIP)

Another unexpected fic this year, however, this one was actually an idea for about a year, unlike IEYH. This fic has really given me a lot of perspective on my own writing and world building, and has inspired me to sit down and really start committing the things I’ve developed to paper to create a cohesive view of Suna, Wind, and the shinobi world. This fic is meant to be a Romance. Like just full on Romance. I write a lot of tragedy and focus on a lot of darker themes in my writing, so while I don’t think of this as stepping outside of my comfort zone, it is very different from my usual, and a really nice change of pace. I think, in all honesty, it is one of my best works, and I do hope I can continue to deliver on the remaining 11 parts of this story.

if this were the last i felt you breathing (COMPLETED)

Ugh. This fic has been my enemy for 2 long years. I signed up for a Secret Santa exchange, and of course, I regretted doing it when I found that I was not motivated and, after the month of October where I was churning out fic after fic for GaaLee Bingo, that I was massively burned out. I wasn’t able to think past writer’s block, and so I ended up settling on dusting off an old, unfinished piece for my giftee, and I hope they can forgive me for not coming up with something brand new for them.

This fic was a struggle. Working so closely with the canon--following the Rescue Kazekage Arc as closely as I did for this fic--made this a much bigger challenge and this fic sat and sat and sat for two years, untouched and incomplete. I’m still not sure how I feel about it. I know it’s not my best work, but I am glad that this fic isn’t hanging over my head and that I was able to deliver something to my secret santa giftee.

My goal with this fic was to rewrite this particular arc from Lee’s PoV to give more depth to the arc and shift the emotional core of it away from Naruto. Naruto as a character has a lot of flaws that never get addressed, and one of the things that is consistently frustrating for me is the way the emotional core of the series rests on him in unrealistic and often superficial ways. Naruto hasn’t spoken to Gaara in three years, but I’m supposed to believe he’s this affected by Gaara’s kidnapping? Temari and Kankuro are right there! Lee is right there! I wanted to see that, so that’s what I set out to do, and ultimately I don’t think I fully succeeded, but I tried. I guess not everything can be a resounding success

---

This year I managed to do a lot more than I realized. New works, updates, and COMPLETED pieces?! I never would have thought, but staying home gave me more free time, and when I was too broke to work on costumes, writing fanfiction was something free I could do.

Total new works: 5 Total updates: 9 Total completed works: 3 Total words this year: 143,587

---

I have a lot of goals for the coming year, and I know I won’t make all of them, but that won’t stop me from trying.

2021 Writing Resolutions:

Reach 1million words (+238,073 words)

Finish IEYH

Finish Pearl-Filled Lungs

Update TAoL (Chapter 12 and 13)

Update Absolution

Update 13S

Update Find Me (Chapter 6)

Start the Ballad of the Dragon and the Phoenix

Start editing Alliance

Return to working on Honor Bound

Return to working on We Need Not Be Yellow Tulips

#naruto fanfiction #gaalee #naruto #shippuden #gaara #rock lee #fanfiction 2020 wrap up #fanfic year in review

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lunasquared · 3 years

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I Can’t Sleep (It’s 1AM)

@comfortember Prompt #18 Hot Cocoa

Relationships: Peter Parker & Ben Parker, Peter Parker & Tony Stark

Summary: Peter and Ben had a tradition that on nights they couldn't sleep they would make hot chocolate. Years later and a night at the tower when Peter can't sleep, Peter decides that maybe he can carry on the tradition with Tony.

Notes: This is my first comfortember prompt because I haven’t had much motivation, but I had lots of fun writing this!

Read on AO3: Here

For a reason that Peter could never explain, to him, hot chocolate tasted better in the summer. However, that did not mean he didn’t enjoy it other times during the year.

It didn’t really make sense that he would find it more enjoyable during the hotter months, but what did make sense was the fact that he found overall the most enjoyable time to have it was between the hours of midnight and 3am. Which okay actually didn’t make sense the more he thought about it, until it did.

It made sense because he would drink hot chocolate with Uncle Ben on nights he couldn’t sleep and Ben got home late from work. That was their time and their time alone. Every once in a while May would join, but they usually ended up in the kitchen with hot chocolate on nights where May would work the night shift. Which was why Peter couldn’t sleep in the first place. Because Ben was working or May was and he couldn’t get his mind to shut up.

The first time it happened Peter was 8, May was working the night shift for the second time that week and as far as Peter knew Ben was asleep. It was around 1am when Peter snuck out of his room and into the kitchen due to having woken up from a nightmare and unable to fall back asleep. He poured himself a mug of milk and stuck it into the microwave for a minute and in the meantime took a packet of hot chocolate out of one of the cabinets. And when the microwave had 1 second left Peter opened it to make sure it wouldn’t beep then poured the contents of the package into the mug and mixed it in.

Peter sat down at the table and gripped the mug loosely in his hands but pulled them away every few seconds to avoid burning himself. He sat in silence for who knows how long, he stopped paying attention to the time the second he pulled the mug from the microwave, but the silence mixed with the warmth of the hot chocolate gliding down his throat made Peter sag in his chair. If he focused hard enough he could hear the traffic from the city that never sleeps, just like him it seemed.

When Ben sat down in front of Peter, it took the boy a few seconds to realize Ben was there as his eyes were closed and he was focused on the sounds of distant car horns. Though when Peter did notice Ben, for whatever reason he expected Ben to tell him to go back to bed, but instead Ben just gave him a soft smile which the 8 year old gladly returned.

“What are you doing up Pete?” Ben asked as Peter took another small sip of his hot chocolate.

“I couldn’t sleep.” Peter admitted, his voice small and full of exhaustion.

“And you made hot chocolate because?”

Peter shrugged, looking away from Ben, instead focusing on the mug in his hands and his feet swinging under the table. “It sounded good I guess.”

“I guess I should make some too then, huh.”

Peter looked back up to Ben, his eyes going a little wider and mouth hanging open slightly. “You’re not mad?” He asked.

Ben only shrugged as he got up from the table and started making his own mug of hot chocolate. “I’m not mad that you’re up, I am a little disappointed you didn’t come get me, but I get it.”

“I’m sorry.”

“Don’t be sorry, you can’t help that you can’t sleep.” Ben said as he took the mug out of the microwave.

Peter watched in silence as Ben finished making his hot chocolate and sat back down at the table across from Peter.

“You wanna talk about it?” Ben asked.

“I’m worried about May.” Peter admitted, swinging his feet a little faster under the table and taking another sip from his mug.

“She’s only at work.”

“I know it's just-” Peter paused trying to find the right words to describe how he was feeling. He wasn’t really sure why he was so worried about May as she was just at work , but he was worried and he couldn’t explain why. There was just this feeling he would get on the nights she was gone, heck even the nights Ben was gone, that something bad would happen. “I just get worried that something bad is going to happen.”

Peter could tell Ben was thinking of what to say from the look on his face. “That makes sense.” Ben said when he finally spoke. “Especially after everything that’s happened, it makes sense that you would worry when people leave.”

He was thankful that Ben didn’t flat out mention his parents. Even though the plane crash that killed them was nearing 3 years ago, it still hurt to bring it up, understandably. It hurt especially bad at night, at times when he would think he was over it, or maybe not over it but doing better with accepting it in general. Overall he was getting better, it was getting easier, but he was still thankful Ben didn’t bring it up as he wasn’t sure he could handle it tonight.

“I don’t know why though.” Peter said after a few moments of silence, forcing himself to cut off his thoughts. “Like I do, but why? ”

“I don’t know.” Ben said softly, his voice so warm and comforting as he reached out and took Peter’s small hand into his own. “But sometimes we don’t know the reasons for something and until we know the reason, we have to be okay with not knowing it.”

“Thanks Uncle Ben.” Peter said before taking the last sip of warm goodness from his mug.

“Of course Pete. Anytime you need something you can come get me.”

A few minutes after that Ben carried Peter back to his room and tucked the boy back into bed.

“Don’t tell May I let you have hot chocolate this late.” Ben said jokingly before pressing a soft kiss to Peter’s forehead.

“I won’t.” Peter promised and held out his pinky which Ben quickly joined with his own. “I love you.”

“I love you too Pete, try to get some sleep, you have school tomorrow.”

And Peter did sleep that night, it didn’t take long after Ben left for him to fall asleep with a smile on his face and May was there to wake him up in the morning. He wrapped his arms around May’s neck and hugged her as tight as he could.

***

That’s what they did for a few years. If Ben got home late from work and Peter was up, Ben would make a mug of hot chocolate for the both of them and they would talk about what was on their mind or what good things happened that day.

Which is why Peter knows that’s why hot chocolate always tastes better at night, because it’s a time of comfort, a time where very few people are up, a time where nothing is expected and he can just sit at the table either in silence or talking with Ben.

Though now, Ben isn’t here and he couldn’t bring himself to have May sit out with him some nights. Some nights he did and they would sit at the table drinking their hot chocolate talking about their day, but other nights May couldn’t sit out with him because she was working. Then there were the nights that he sat at the kitchen table alone because there, late at night, with a mug of hot chocolate in his hands, he felt closer to Ben, so he let himself have those moments. It wasn’t that he didn’t enjoy May sitting out with him, because he did, but some nights it felt almost like he was betraying Ben, though he knew deep down he wasn’t, because Ben would’ve wanted him to carry on the tradition with someone.

He let himself think back tonight, on this cool November night, because now he was sitting at the table in the penthouse of Stark Tower with a mug of hot chocolate cupped between his hands, alone.

He could go get Tony, he knew that. He could go get May, he knew that too. Heck he could go get anyone in the tower, because their rooms were only a few steps down the hall, but he didn’t because he was sad and he wasn’t sure why.

Maybe it was because tonight he missed Ben a little more than usual, or maybe there was some other reason, though right now because he didn’t know he let himself be okay with not knowing, because that’s what Ben would tell him to do.

When he moved onto his second mug of hot chocolate because he still didn’t feel ready to go back to his room, he could hear quiet socked feet coming down the hall and a slightly abnormal heartbeat come with it. It was Tony, he knew it was Tony, who else would it be besides May coming out to check on him at 1 in the morning? But May was asleep and only Tony had the abnormal heartbeat. And it wasn’t even that it was truly abnormal, it wouldn’t show up on any sort of machine that it was abnormal, but Peter could hear the slight difference in his compared to anyone else. Tony’s heartbeat was calming to him because it was slightly off. The normal thump thump of someone's heartbeat was calming sometimes, but he could only do so much to pick an individual’s heartbeat out of a sea of them. But Tony’s, because Tony’s was different, and only in the slightest bit, Peter could pick it out in a crowd and focus on his when he couldn’t decipher anyone else's.

“What are you doing up buddy?” Tony asked sitting down in a chair across the table from Peter.

It could’ve been a very similar conversation to the one he had with Ben the first time they had hot chocolate together. It could’ve been very different. But it also could go practically anyway Peter wanted it to go.

“Can’t sleep.” Peter said with a small shrug and took another sip of his hot chocolate.

“Do you wanna talk about it?”

Peter didn’t answer Tony, but stood up from his spot at the table and walked back over to the kitchen.

“Is that a no?” Tony questioned, though he didn’t move from his spot at the table.

“No, I’m just making you a mug of hot chocolate too.” Peter said, putting the mug of milk into the microwave.

“I could make coffee you know.” Tony suggested.

Peter shook his head. “Late night talks are hot chocolate only.”

Tony only nodded as Peter pulled the mug from the microwave and mixed in the hot chocolate mix before bringing it over to the table to set it infront of Tony. He sat back down in his spot and once again wrapped his hands loosely around the mug.

They each sipped their respective drinks in silence until Peter spoke up. “I used to do this with Ben.” Peter said eventually. “On nights he got home late and I was still up or on nights I couldn’t sleep. Sometimes May would join us, but more often than not it was just me and Ben.”

Tony got the same thinking face that Ben would get sometimes. Like he knew what to say, but was trying to think of the best way to say it.

“Is it okay that I’m out here with you?” Tony asked. “Because I don’t want to intrude if you don’t want me here.”

Peter gave Tony a soft smile. “Yeah it’s okay. I made you hot chocolate didn’t I?” He said with a quiet chuckle causing Tony to chuckled as well. “It’s uh- it’s nice to have someone out here with me sometimes. Sometimes May will sit with me in the kitchen, but sometimes I like to be alone.”

“And now?”

“Now I don’t know exactly, but I know that I want you to stay.”

“Then I’ll stay as long as you need.”

“Pinky promise?” Peter asked, reaching towards the center of the table holding his pinky out.

“Pinky promise.” Tony confirmed and hooked his pinky with Peter’s.

They both gave a small shake of their pinkies to seal the promise before letting go both of their hands going back around their mugs.

And Tony did stay just like he promised. They talked a little both about their day and about somethings they had on their minds, but regardless, Tony stayed just like he promised. When they both finished their drinks, mugs now in the dishwasher, the two of them walked back down the hall towards their respective rooms. When they reached Peter’s door Peter hesitated twisting the handle for a moment.

“Do you need anything else bud?” Tony asked, if Peter had to guess he noticed the hesitation.

Yeah Peter did want something else. He wanted someone to tuck him into bed just like Ben would do even as Peter got older and would say he was too old for that, but secretly he always loved when Ben tucked him into bed. He knew that Ben knew that as well, which is why he kept doing it.

“Ben would always tuck me in after we had hot chocolate.” Peter admitted, the hesitance in his voice clear as he slowly turned the door handle and kept his gaze on his feet. “You don’t have to though I just-” He trailed off losing the words in his throat.

“Do you want me to?” Tony asked, and Peter was thankful Tony was leaving the choice up to him. It was a small gesture, one that most people wouldn’t care about, but it meant the world to Peter. It meant that Tony understood what Peter was too scared to say. That Peter didn’t want to replace Ben, Tony wouldn’t replace Ben, nobody could replace Ben, but there could be someone who had a similar role, if Peter wanted that. And Tony asking, leaving the choice up to Peter, told him that Tony understood, he understood that Peter wasn’t trying to replace Ben with him, but that he was still an extremely important part of Peter’s life. Because he was, Tony was extremely important to Peter and Peter hoped he was important to Tony.

“Can you?” Peter asked his hands rubbing together as if to try to warm up, but he was nervous as he shifted his weight from his heels to the balls of his feet. Was it a weird thing to ask of Tony? Maybe it was, but there was a sense of familiarity with it. And again it wasn’t that Tony was a replacement for Ben, that wasn’t it at all, it was Tony being there for Peter when he needed it, for when he wanted it.

“Of course I can bambino.” Tony said, letting Peter walk into the room first before following.

Another simple gesture that Peter appreciated. Peter crawled into bed and Tony pulled the covers up right past his shoulders so it was sitting directly above his collarbone. He turned so he was facing Tony and curled into a loose ball while clutching his stuffed animal (technically it wasn’t a stuffed animal, it was a stuffed Iron Man doll from Costco that May and Ben got him for the holidays one year) to his chest. Tony sat on the edge of the bed, one leg pulled up in his lap, the other resting on the floor to keep his balance. He ran his fingers through Peter’s messy curls and Peter couldn’t stop himself from melting into the touch.

“I love you.” Peter whispered, so softly that he was unsure if Tony had even heard him. And maybe it wasn’t a bad thing if Tony didn’t hear, but some part of Peter hoped he did.

Tony pressed a soft kiss on Peter’s forehead and brushed the stay curls out of the boy’s face. Peter had his answer then.

“I love you too.” Tony said pressing one more kiss on the top of Peter’s head before standing up from the bed. “If you need anything come get me. I’ll be here.”

“Thank you.” Peter said softly, and this time he knew Tony could hear him because of the smile Tony gave him as he reached the doorway.

“I love you kiddo.”

Peter didn't have to guess the you're welcome that was hidden in that phrase. “I love you too.”

Things were different now. They had been for a while. But maybe carrying on this sort of tradition wasn’t a bad thing. Though he never really thought it was, he just never had the right person to continue it with aside from May, but Tony, well Tony was the person to continue it with. It felt comforting, in a different way than it was with Ben, but comforting all the less. It felt right carrying on the tradition.

And just like the first time he and Ben had hot chocolate, Peter fell asleep right away with a smile on his face.

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