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intensid4d · 1 year

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Like I'm Gonna Loose You - Alessia Russo x Reader

that's a little longer, I hope you enjoy!

+4k of words, not readproof, against with happy end, mentions of homophobia!

Football was your first love, your first memory was of you and your father playing together. So you went to college to play and try being a pro. And that’s when you met the true love of your life, the one that were even bigger that your love for football. And that was a girl, your girl. Your Lessi.

At first it was you, Lotte and Alessia. You all soon developing a friendship and becoming inseparable, the three of you coming from England so it made sense that you all would feel less home sick. Then you started to be more soft with Alessia, you weren’t able to say “no” to her. It all started in your last season at the college. You couldn’t stand there seeing all the boys and girls all over her. You didn’t even know you’re gay. It was just so much for you. You never having done a relationship before, why? Well, a guy never interested you but you thought it was because you were too focused on football. Guess you were wrong.

You started to do everything you could to spend more time with her and she never said “no” to you too. It was like she could know what you were thinking, always doing everything you wanted when you don’t even told her anything.

One day you were on the bus to play na away game, Alessia sitting by your side, you sharing your headphones with her. That’s when everything changed forever between you.

“Let do a playlist together, just for us to hear. What do you think?” She asks you, already taking her phone out of her pocket.

“Us. ❤” That was the name of the playlist. You were used to Alessia being soft with you, but this was too much for you to not think that maybe, just maybe, she had fallen for you too. Especially when she started to add songs to it.

“All of me” – John Legend

“Never be Alone” – Shawn Mendes

“Give Me Love” – Ed Sheeran

“Little Things” – One Direction

“Ruin The Friendship” – Demi Lovato

“Perfect” – Ed Sheeran

You looked at her face... God, how could someone be so beautiful?

“Don’t look at me like that.” She tells you, bringing you out of your daydream. When you understand what she had said you frown.

“Like what?”

“Like you feel the same. Like I’m your everything.” She speaks quietly so no one else could hear. You really didn’t know what to say. Your first love was saying she felt the same. Your first love who was also your best friend.

“I...” When she looks away you grab her hand. “I’m in love with you. I mean, I have never felt this before but you makes me feel like I don’t need anything else with I have you here with me. And I think you are the most beautiful girl I have ever seen and you... God... I don’t know Lessi, I didn’t know I’m into girls until you happened but I’m totally fine with that, because you made me see that there’s no mistake to love someone. When I’m the one making you smile I feel the same way when I score a goal, my heart goes crazy and...” She stops you by pushing her lips into yours.

And that’s how everything started. It was nothing like the movies, you both telling your feelings in the back of a bus, nothing romantic at all, but it was you and you couldn’t love it more. That was the best time of your life, you couldn’t be more happier. Then, be the end of the year when you went home for holidays you decided that you were coming out to your parentes. You knew Alessia was yours forever, so you knew you needed to do it. You were done not been able to post about her on social media Simply because your parents didn’t know.

So, one day right before Christmas Eve you called your parentes to the living room, ready to tell them you were gay and were dating the love of your life. And so you did, but it was nothing like you hoped. They didn’t like the idea of you being gay. You simply didn’t know what to do.

You loved your family, they were your everything, always having your back but now they couldn’t be happy for you. Your mom even said:

“You can’t do thay, Y/N! Jesus gave you to me, you can’t do that! I won’t let you.” She screams while crying at you.

Then it was hell to you. You were hurt, so much. You really wanted to be with Alessia, but you knew she didn’t desserves to be on that mess. You won’t let her be, never. It was all too much.

“We can fix you, no, we WILL fix you.” Your father said before going to bed.

“I regret being your mom. I regret ever wanting to have you.” It all was too much.

You didn’t have the strength to talk to Alessia, so you declined every call and never texted back. You couldn’t. They did got in your head. Were you wrong? But how could it be so wrong? When Alessia made you the more happiest you had ever been. When you truly loved her?

You don’t know why you stayed at your parent’s house, you really don’t. But you were like shit, not leaving your room to avoid see any of them. Only leaving to eat but always at some time you knew they wouldn’t see you. And you couldn’t eat properly.

It was in January 7th when you got a call from Barcelona, they wanted you. Soon you after you got a call from Lotte too, Alessia told her of you behaviour or, the lack of it. To the blonde, it was like you just erased from her life, she was too much hurt. She even thought to go see you, but if you weren’t even texting her... So she just accepted it. You may have meet someone better. Someone who could make you more happy. That’s what she thought.

You din’t say anything to Lotte, not while staying in your parent’s house. But you tell her about Barcelona. And you tell her you’re moving as soon as possible. She could sense something was wrong, really wrong. You weren’t your usual self. Your voice was emontionless, even while talking about Barca.

When you moved out of your parentes house, you were still not in a good place. But you told Lotte everything, you told her you were ashamed of yourself, that you really loved Alessia and that’s why you couldn’t do that to her. You didn’t want her to be with someone who wasn’t worth it her love. Suddenly you didn’t loved yourself anymore and that’s was a lot. How could still treat Alessia the way she deserved to be treated when you couldn’t even treat yourself right anymore?

You couldn’t see her and texting wasn’t aan option so you wrote a letter and asked Lotte to give it to her, you felt like she was the only person left on your life. You have pushed away everyone. And when Lotte left to England again, she had a mission to give it to Lessi and stay with her until she was sure she was okay.

“Hi Lessi... First of all, I’m so sorry. I really am. I didn’t know how else I could do this. So I’m writing this now... Anyway, I hope you don’t hate me... I could never hate you, I think I’ll always love you. And I hate myself for hurting you and letting you in the dark for so long. I’m so sorry for not being enough, you deserve so much better. I did everything to not put you into this mess. And that’s why I’m doing it... That’s why I’m ending things... Beucase you deserve better, you deserve someone who can treat you like you are the most incredible person in the world (because you are). I hope I can be your friend some day... I hope I can see your smile in person again, or hug you... Yours hugs always made me feel better. I... Just don’t forget ever that I really love you, okay? I’m just so much hurt right now that I can’t be in a relationship... Lotte will tell everything you want to know. I wish you all the best, my love.

Always yours, Y/N.”

Alessia was hurt, but after reading your letter and, after she stopped crying, having Lotte to tell everything that happened and how you were, she didn’t know what she really was feeling but lost was a really close guess.

“I wish she would let me help her out, I wish she could be still here with me, Lotte.” She cried again on the brunette’s shoulder.

True to her word, Lotte only left Alessia’s house when she needed to present herself at Arsenal and before that she made sure the blonde would that care of herself.

It took you two years to rebuild yourself, for you to love yourself, to know that there was no wrong for loving another woman. You did therapy every week since Lotte left your new home. You also didn’t talk that much anymore with your parents. Not having been to their house again, it held too many bad memories.

But you also didn’t see Alessia again, not in person at least. But you always kept an eye on her, by social medias and even watching her games when you were free.

Barcelona become your home, Alexia Putellas and Mapi Leon become your best friends too. They helped you a lot, they were the only ones on the team who knew of everything that had happened with your parents and Alessia. So they always kept you in their hold, and you were grateful for that.

It took three years for you to meet Alessia again, it being on camp for the Lionesses. When you got the call, you were very excited but then you realised you would have to meet Alessia again and that made you almost throw up out of fear. At first, when you arrived at the hotel, there was just Lotte and Beth waiting for you, the others being at their rooms.

“Y/N!” Beth hugs you. “I’m so happy that we can finally play together.”

“I missed this, you know... I mean, us being roommates and playing together.” You tell Lotte, after greeting Beth, make a small talk and then go to yours and Lottes room.

“I missed it too. You could always come and play for Arsenal, I know they have been wanting you for a long time.” You sigh at her words and she sits in her bed. “You can’t run away from her forever.”

“I know.” You sit and look at her with a frown. “I know I can’t run away. Fuck, I know she’s here and it makes me want to throw up. What if she hates me?” You put your hands in your face and Lotte comes to your side, passing her arm over your shoulders.

“She doesn’t hate you. I think you should talk to her, it’s been a long time.” You turn to her.

“I don’t know...” You can feel the tears running down your cheeks and your best friend take you in her arms.

“I think I still love her, Lotte.” She tights you in her arms.

“It’s okay, let it all out. I’m here with you. I got you.” And with that you cry in her arms until you fall asleep, exhaustion taking the best of you.

The next morning when you wake up, you’re still in your friend’s arms. You get up and get ready to have breakfast. When you get there, you see Leah, Beth, Keira, Georgia and Lucy at one table, so you grab your food and go sit with them.

Your mind was a mess, you wanted to see Alessia but you couldn’t handle the hurt or the hate in her eyes when she looked in your eye, so when you saw she wasn’t there yet you knew that maybe she was avoiding see you.

“She always comes with Ella.” Beth says after seeing the look on your face. “And Ella’s always late.” You just nod and starting eating, not daring to say anything out loud.

After eating, you decided to go to the meeting room, where Sarina would do the official first talk to everything. You found a seat in the middle of the room and grab your phone to go through social medias.

It’s only by the end of the meeting that you actually lay eyes on Alessia, having been too focused on what Sarina was saying to notice how Alessia sat on the back of the room or how Ella (who was a really loud person) was silenty and awful worried about her best friend.

When you look at her way you notice she’s already looking at you, you could see everything in her eyes, all the good and bad memories. You feel a shiver run down your neck, making you look at your feets. It’s Lotte’s hand on your back that makes you walk out of the room with you not daring to look up again, too afraid to see her so close or see the hate in her eyes.

The first time you talk with her was on 11x11 at practice, you were playing against her.

You were running with the ball, having passed every defender and beeing left only with Mary to deal with. But then, suddenly you felt someone tackling you from behind and an huge pain on your right ankle.

“What the fuck, Ella?!” You could hear Alessia’s voice but you didn’t see her. You were holding your ankle and with your face on the ground, trying to hide the tears in yours eyes.

“I’m sorry I didn’t-“ The blonde forward didn’t give her the chance to say nothing more, coming to you in fast speed.

“Hey, angel. Can you turn around?” You can feel her hand on your back.

“It hurts so much, Lessi...” You groan quietly to her but manage to turn around as she asked. No one of your teammates daring to come closer and end whatever was happening. Alessia took a deep breath after hearing you calling by her nick name, it wasn’t the right time.

“I know it does, but I’m here with you. I won’t leave your side until you’re alright, okay?” She wipes your tears with the back of her hand and you finally open your eyes to look at her. Seeing Alessia so close and so worried about you made you forget about the pain momentarily.

You are forced to look away from her when the medical team comes to check on you. “Can you walk?” One of them asks you after doing the first check on your ankle.

“Yeah, I think so.” With that, Alessia helps you putting her arm around your waist and yours around her shoulder. You manage to go to the physio room with her help (she was almost carring you in her arms ‘cause you were putting all your weigh on her).

True to her words, Alessia haven’t left your side and even when you were sent to the hospital to check if there was any major issues, she still went with you. You both didn’t talk about your past or about any feelings at all. You didn’t have time neither space, there was always somebody else with you. Plus, all Alessia wanted at the moment was for you to be okay. When she saw you going down and crying yourself out of pain, she felt all again. Everything she so desesperately tried to bury at the bottom of her heart. She knew she would probably regret it later, but now she couldn’t care less.

So when the doctors said it wasn’t as bad as it looked to be, and that you only needed to rest for 3 days she was relieved. And the blonde, herself made a promise to the doctor applying that she would that care of you and wouldn’t let you do anything stupid. You could only hope it was true, the thinking of her being with you sounding like yet a dream for you.

When you got back to the hotel, she walks you to your room.

“So...” She starts saying but you cut her off.

“I miss you.” She gasps at your sudden confession and you take it was a bad signal and give her a sad smile. “Thank you for today, you really didn’t need to do all this...”

“It’s okay, I wanted to.” She gives you a small smile. “Can I – “ She pauses for a moment, like she’s thinking of what to say. “Can I hug you?” She finally asks, for all day she was close to you, touching you (because she knew physical touch helped you in any ways) and yet here she is, asking you if she could give you a hug.

“Always.” You whisper and open your arms, she wastes no time and puts her arms around your waist, hidding her face on your neck. You put your arms around her neck and your face at the top of her head, you take this moment to smell her hair again. It felt like home.

“I’m sorry about everything, please forgive me.” You say quietly to her, your eyes closed so that you could enjoy the moment. You wanted to remember it forever.

“It wasn’t your fault.” She gives your neck a little kiss before pulling away reluctantly. You felt a single tear come down your cheek, and she wipes it carefully.

“You need some rest, I should go now.” She take a step back.

“Okay.” You give her another small smile and put your key card on the door, when you’re about to open it she calls you again.

“Y/N! I miss you too.” It’s all she says before disappear into the elevator.

You wake up in the next day with Lotte getting ready for practice. She haven’t asked you anything, knowing that you would open up when you’re ready.

“I’ll go with you to have breakfast, then I’ll go to the pyshio.” You say to her after getting ready too.

You’re in the pyshio putting some ice on your ankle when Ella comes into the room with your favorite flower in hands.

“Hey, Y/N... I’m sorry about your ankle I really didn’t mean to. I was just so stressed about this whole you and Alessia thing th-” She stops herself, realising she was talking too much. “Err, this is for you.” She hands the sunflower to you.

“Thank you so much. And you don’t have to apologize, it’s okay.” You take the sunflower of her hand. “How did you know it was my favorite?” You smile looking at it.

“Oh, I got some advice.” You look at her with a small smile forming in your lips. “You should talk to her. If you love her and promise me to not break her heart again I can help you.”

“I really do love her, I never stoped. I never wanted to break her heart...” You look around, putting your thoughts in place. “I promise that, if I ever have her love again, I won’t ever break her heart. Not again.” You look into her eyes so she could know you were being true in your words.

“Okay.” It all she says. You frown.

“Okay?”

“Yes. When you finish this, come to my room. Here, take my keycard.” She gives it to you. “She’s almost finishing her gym session. Then, I’ll text her to come to our room but it will be you there, not me!” She says simply, gives you a little kiss on the head and exits the room. But then after a few seconds she enters the room again.

“And don’t make me hate you again or next time I will go for you knee! Text me when you’re done so I can know when text her.” Then she lefts again. You look at the door in completely shock.

“What the fuck.” You mumble to yourself.

10 minutes later you’re done in the physio, so you text Ella on Instagram to let her know you’re going her room now. On your way there, you think what you’re going to say to her but you know that at the moment you see her you’ll forget everything. You have wanted to do this so many times during these 3 years you spent apart but you didn’t know if she would like to even see you again. When you get out of your own head you notice you’re already at the door of her room.

When you get into the room you see wich is Alessia’s bed and you put the sunflower Ella gave you in the middle of it. The memorie of her loving sunflower just as much as you loved and it becoming your flower and yours only. Everytime one of you passed by a flowershop you got one for the other. It was a silent way of saying ‘I love you’.

It takes another 15 minutes for Alessia to come to the room, you were by the window the moment she comes in. At first she doesn’t notice you and you could tell the first thing she saw was the sunflower at her bed.

“Toone I told you to give it to Y/N and apologize for almost breaking her ankle, why did you-“

“She already did.” You stop her and she finally see you, you can see she’s surprised. She takes a moment, then grab the sunflower from her bed and looks at it with pain in her eyes.

“Don’t you like it anymore? I’m sorry I-” You cut her off again.

“I love it, reminds me of you. Can we sit and talk? Only if you want to... I mean, I don’t want to do nothing you wouldn’t be confortable and if you want me to go I’ll, there wouldn’t be a problem...” She raises her hand so you can stop.

“It’s okay, don’t worry...” She takes a deep breath and you do the same, looking at your hands.

“Okay...” You say more to yourself, trying to have some courage. “First, I wanted to say I’m sorry for how things ended. I know I wasn’t in a good place and I know I could have let you choose if you wanted to stay or go but you have to know I did this because you don’t deserve to be with someone who’s broke. All I ever wanted was for you to be happy and I knew I couldn’t make you happy that time. It took me two years to be over what my parentes did to me but three years isn’t enough to get over you. I want you to know that there isn’t a day I don’t regret ever letting you go. You was- No, you are the best thing that ever happened to me I think I’ll love you forever, even if I have another life I’ll still love you.” You haven’t notice when but she’s close to you know, so close you can feel her smell. You look into her eyes, her ocean eyes that right now are full of tears and it’s enough to make you cry too.

“And you were never alone, never. I kept an eye on you, even from afar. I’m so proud of who you have became... You’re an amazing person, Alessia. You’re an incredible player too. And you’re even more beautiful...” You wipe her tears away and when she leans on your touch, you leave your hand on her cheek. “Everytime I passed by a flowershop I still had a sunflower, even if I didn’t have you anymore to give it to. I liked to buy and bring it home because for me it’s like a little piece of you. It’s unique and it’s one of the most beautiful things I ever saw.”

She gots even closer to you and put her forehead on yours, you close your eyes when she cups your cheek. You heart beating faster than it ever had.

“You have to promise me you’ll never let me in the dark again. Please, I beg you. You have to promise me you’ll never leave of my life without saying anything anymore. God, Y/N I wish I could ever hate you for breaking my heart.” You both fully crying now. “I wish you weren’t the only one who could put all the peaces together again.”

“I’m so sorry.” You put your arms around her and you both stay like that. Your body and foreheads together, Alessia’s hands of your cheeks and your arms around her.

“If we are trying this again, trying us again it has to be slowly. I’m scared. I love you but I’m hurt and afraid and you need to show me you’re not going to run away from me anymore.” She wipes your tears again.

“I wouldn’t dare to loose you twice. I’m in for real, I’m all yours. If you want to try us again, we’ll do it step be step. And I’ll love you in every one of them. Please Lessi, let me make this right.” You grab her hands and look into her eyes.

“Okay.” She whispers.

“Can I kiss you?” You say quietly and she answer you by putting her lips on yours softly.

You'll do everything you can to make her feel safe with you again.

#alessia russo x reader #alessia russo #woso imagine #woso x reader #alessia russo imagines #woso community #womens football #lessi russo x reader #lessi russo

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highlifeboat · 1 year

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First off, my heart was broken with the "Swap!Mel telling Alcina not to baby her" bit, please tell me they talk things out and get their happy vibes back. :( Second - I now really wanna hear about Mia and the wife from Crimson Snow. You may have given me a new ship and need to know this XD

Always gotta throw in a little angsty family drama, no matter the AU.

I feel like, eventually, Alcina is going to question Melony's sudden disdain for getting babied. Her daughter is just kind of coasting and sullen since it stopped, and it's worrying. With all the strange vibes between her kids, too, there has to be some suspicion that something happened.

She has a little private meeting with Mel and pushes the subject more, reminding Mel she can be trusted and all that. Mel, despite having every right to throw Max under the bus, goes with the half truth of "I've just heard.. people say some things about me." and how it made her think on how much time she spends around Alcina. She doesn't like being seen as a baby, or weak, or anything like that since she's arguable just as capable as her siblings. But when Alcina asks her if she's sure she doesn't want to be babied anymore she doesn't have a real answer.

Mel still likes the extra attention, and the kisses and hugs, and general motherly love, but she also feels like she should get some independence and responsibility. Alcina tells her they'll work to find a nice balance that makes Mel happy, and if Alcina ever goes too much either way to simply tell her. She's going to miss her baby moth and constant cuddling and whatever, but she won't deny Mel's want to have her own life.

A little bitter sweet, but they hug it out after and get back into their good vibes, even if it isn't the same as before.

AS FOR THE SECOND THING--

Listen, okay, so... Ideas are limited at the moment, but bare with me.

Main backstory isn't fully important right now, but the short version is Mia gets relocated to whatever snowy undisclosed town Crimson Snow takes place in. Gets a note from the neighbour across the road as an invite for dinner, say "fuck it" because she's tired of being lonely post-Ethan dying and losing everything (again). Ends up in Scary Ex's house, who quickly realizes Mia is NOT her ex boyf. Hilarity ensues, Mia makes friends with a demon woman, enter gay lady kisses. Y'know, classic tale pfff.

I will supply a little bit of headcanons, because that's the only way I can explain ideas coherently pfff.

The reason the Ex doesn't kill Mia on the spot, is because Mia still takes her up on the dinner offer/is actually civil despite... everything

Like, my girl saw the spaghetti on the table and said "I know this is awkward, but I brought wine and I feel like it's rude if I just leave."

Ex is initially confused, but after realizing Mark(the game MC/Ex Boyf) isn't showing up/moved, agrees.

This is heavily reliant on the idea that the Scary Ex only kills Mark in-game because he's running/hiding from her, and because Mia doesn't the Ex is chill.

A good chunk of dinner is Ex venting about how "I put all this effort into the holiday and he doesn't even bother to tell me he's MOVING?" and Mia nodding along and saying stuff like "Sounds like he was a loser honestly. You deserve better."

In terms of general relationship, lowkey they be cute

Ex drags Mia dress shopping all the time, for both of them

Mia always be complimenting her. On her dresses, and make up, and cooking, just showers this woman with compliments.

Ex has accidentally scared the shit out of Mia in the middle of the night before. More than once.

They do living room karaoke.

Mia might have a thing for women with sharp teeth and long nails.

The Ex is lowkey ecstatic to just be in a relationship with someone who doesn't call her crazy

Mia casually dropping how she used to be possessed too, except it wasn't by choice and now she's forever infected with sentient fungus.

Scary Ex being like "That explains a lot actually." and then never bringing it up again

Basic idea is: Local Himbo falls in love with Horror Beyond Human Comprehension

#asks #coleblackblood #swap au #Resident Evil/Crimson Snow

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kinnsporsche · 2 years

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i was so ready for the pool scene but I got this episode instead :/ I don’t even know what to say. is kinn really this stupid?? falling for tawan’s lies again? tell me he’s not this stupid. I honestly don’t know what to think. I’ve seen some people theorize that he believes Porsche is innocent and he’ just acting like he’s falling for it but idk I would like to believe this theory but I feel like he genuinely doesn’t trust Porsche. which is so absurd?? he literally didn’t do anything? 1/8

why would eavesdropping on t prove he’s a mole? I seriously dont understand. god his facial expressions when k said to lock him up. the way he was confused at first and rightfully so like he just wanted to help?? and the second time he tried to reason with him because this is nonsense and how does k not see it?? by the third time he just completely gives up and it’s so heartbreaking. apo’s acting was so good in this scene I can’t even put into words the multitude of emotions he goes through. and at the end when he thought k was coming to get him and said ‘I knew you’d trust me’ GOD the angst in this show.I swear to god tankhun is the only one with the braincells in this show.he likes to act “crazy” but he’s far from it. everyone can see from a mile away that tawan is lying. I cannot believe that kinn can’t. when he said he’ll clear things up with p that gave me hope. he must be acting like he’s falling for tawan’s lies right? this is all part of his plan to catch him. there’s only a few episodes left it wouldn’t make sense if k still didn’t fully trust him. but in that shoot-out scene from the mv p says Im on your side so like? its still not clear? p still has to convince him? vikki I’m genuinely losing my mind over these gays. okay the things I loved: THE MILK!! metaphor of the damn century. out of all the things they could have chosen for this they chose milk.. I love that for them. and kimchay!! after the last ep I was ready for angst but we got a kiss. they are so cute idk what happens to them in the novel but I hope they get a happy ending in this. although I’m sure some shit is about to go down first. and vegas my boy. idk how you feel about him but personally I’m a weak hoe. I see a sexy villain and I simply have to simp for him. I’ve been dying to see some vegaspete and it’s finally happening!! I know about some stuff he does in the novel but I have no idea what they’ll do in the show and it’s just so exciting. will he genuinely like pete or just use him? I’m dying to find out. and he’s so good at playing Porsche. I mean it’s good to watch but p is not falling for it at all. after that pool scene part of me is convinced this is all just an act and he doesn’t give a fuck about p but another part of me is like what if he was just planning on using him against kinn but started to genuinely like him at some point?? I really don’t know. I mean he’s probably just using him but still I like to be a little delulu and imagine things. and the ending?? run away with me Porsche?? I was screaming!!! there’s no way p would go with him but the possibility of p tricking vegas and using him to get out of jail? chefs kiss. so yeah I think I’ve screamed about everything I wanted. I make theories in my head what could happen next episode but I’m always wrong lmao. and I just wanted to say I hope you’re doing better now and everything is well i'm genuinley so thankful that i can come here and talk about kp with you

my kp anon!!!!!

the way we were baited with that pool scene 💀💀 and during the first week of pride month? kp cancelled for being homophobic against me personally actually. the way i was watching the timer tick down the whole episode like "oh boy haha 30 minutes left i wonder when the pool scene will happen. oh boy only 15 minutes now................haha only five more minutes guys..........." im not a clown im the whole circus

i genuinley don't think kinn trusts tawan in the slightest but im a kinn defender at heart. kinn knows that tawan never loved him, he made that clear at the end of episode 8 during that conversation with porsche when he crumpled up his picture. kinn is very much aware of the fact that he was in love with tawan, but tawan used him and played him and was never in love with him. i think it's easy for us to sit here and say that porsche hasn't done anything but we have the benefit of hindsight we know what he was doing when he bugged tawan's room, kinn doesn't. from his perspective it just looks like porsche was spying on him and following him around without permission, and that scene with vegas by the pool probably didn't help either since he thinks the information is being passed along to the minor family of course everything starts to look kinda sus.

there are a few emotions kinn doesn't deal well with, two of the big ones being jealousy and betrayal. it's less about him not trusting porsche (because he does trust him imo, just in his own way. why else would he continiously let himself be alone around porsche, let himself be vulnerable around porsche, if he didn't trust him ykwim?) and more about him not trusting himself and his emotions. he was burned so visciously by tawan and he has genuine trauma from it that i think a lot of people don't want to see, it's not as easy as telling kinn to just get over it now he has porsche, he has a lot of trust issues and when you couple that with his identity crisis his actions start to make a lot more sense.

the "i knew you'd trust me" genuinley broke a little piece of my soul because kinn does trust him!! and porsche has enough faith in him to know that he does!! again it all comes right back to the fact that these two have problems with communicating their emotions - they have sex and they think it solves the majority of their problems but it doesn't.

i swear to god i've rewatched the trailer at least 12 times this week to try and piece all the scenes we haven't got yet together. where does the scene with his uncle and the "you shagged him for this" come in, why are they laughing together at the back of yok's bar, when is kim going to beat the shit out of someone i need answers five episodes is not enough time for all the answers that i need!!!!! and we still have to get that scene of porchay crying when he's looking at his phone kimchay is gonna go up in flames soon i know it is and im not prepared to see him cry

listen bible is SO pretty but i want to spin vegas' jaw right now like im gonna feel bad about bruising all his pretty but im still gonna DO it get a job stay away from porsche. i heard that they toned a lot of the vegaspete arc down from the novel which im obviously happy about because oh boy...... vegaspete novel arc is just not it babes novel vegas im sharpening my knives as we speak

my kp anon my beloved im always here for u to scream at i love getting your asks sm!!! throughout the week when im thinking of my reply im just thinking of the meta i should write out honestly u give me braincells and i

#answered #anonymous #kp anon

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lindalung · 6 months

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The 雙大 Lore Iceberg/ Masterpost

Here's the ongoing Iceberg if anyone cares. There's little things, little moments that I could list on forever as canonical evidence to Me that they're in love/soulmates, or just simply crazy things that I can't believe have happened to them. For example, the fact that no one on earth understands what Hung Sheung Sin is thinking, not even her boyfriend or her family, but Linda does. When they supposedly hate each other but Sheung Sin when put in a life-or-death situation they would die for each other. How is this canon but they're still denying that there's nothing between them. Okay let me get into this iceberg (no particular order). Some stuff not included in the iceberg

Tier 1

Calling each other 豈有此理 and 窮編劇， even setting it as their contact names, and every time they mention one another behind their backs at home

The n number of times they dressed the same (see: essay on doubling)

Linda paying Sheung Sin to write a reality show for her and her husband (and every time she needs someone to write something she goes to her tbh). Then Sheung Sin teachers her to give the audience the side of her that they want to see and perfectly captures her mean girlboss angle (we know that's her fantasy...) and then female netizens call her "husband" yeah Sheung Sin knows what the gays want

When they were trying to fight over who would have the better Mother's Day only to both end up in Thailand alone and then spent the night together on a date having dinner and taking pics for each other

In their first episode Sheung Sin goes back to save Linda and said "I promised I wouldn't leave you behind" and when Linda saved Sheung Sin in the hospital from a serial killer and also promised not to leave her behind

Every time Sheung Sin laughs at Linda when she's going through her misfortune

The Lung/Hung family lore goes deep, even their dads were childhood friends reunited, Mary Hung dated Max Lung, and Wind Lung had a crush on Hung Sum Yu. It's only logical that these two are also meant to be, right?

Their dogs were in love (more on the dog lore later)

The times when they held hands (probably while running from a serial killer)

Always being in the classic butting heads pose (à la Captain America: Civil War poster)

Being presidents of the Chung Tau fanclub together

Bailing out Terry and On Jai from the police station twice and generally using them as a weapon against each other

Giving Mrs. Tam a makeover together, and acting like gfs later

Sheung Sin giving Linda's brother Terry a crash course to winning arguments and how to gaslight

The fact that they're supposed to hate each other but Linda constantly admits and praises Sheung Sin's wits and intelligences, and acknowledges that she's the one who thinks of better plans

Everytime they act friendly for a moment and then immediately after they jump away in fake disgust and are like "You think we're close?"

Going to the Chung Tau concert together and forming a heart with their hands, then instantly bickering outside

Tier 2

They thought their dogs had sex/ had babies (they're dog in laws) but the Hung dog Bear Bear wasn't the father, so they faked a puppy funeral

Linda showing up at Sheung Sin's house begging her to be her volleyball coach and then working together to get Jenny

Linda losing a racecar to Sheung Sin in a bet but Sheung Sin was too proud to take it from her even though she secretly wanted it

Sheung Sin elbowing Linda's boob in front of press, and then slapping her ass at the photocall (all while dressed alike)

Watching Mission: Impossible - Dead Reckoning Part One together canonically (this is included cause it's one of my fav movies so it's hilarious to Me)

Sheung Sin working her son's shift at Linda's bar and then falling into her arms (heroic catching pose)

Sheung Sin keeping Linda's secret for her and didn't tell Mary when she asked

Linda cancelling a meeting just to speak with Sheung Sin (to her secretary's surprise)

Their dogs got dognapped together and they went to rescue them at a club (while dressed as teenagers)

Sheung Sin messing with Win and Linda getting defensive telling Sheung Sin not to mess with her (gay love triangle)

Sheung Sin helping Linda in the 2000th episode to take down Max

Sheung Sin messing with Linda, making fun of her bad singing and rooting for Terry to get to sing the theme song to spite her

Linda and Sheung Sin constantly comparing their boyfriends, Linda getting jealous that her brother likes Sheung Sin's bf more than her husband

That one time they glanced at each other across the room and nodded in silence

When Linda went to Sheung Sin's house just to get a glimpse of Chung Tau who was living across

Constantly fighting in washrooms (washrooms are gay)

Tier 3

Sheung Sin worrying about Linda's problem on Mid Autumn Festival and hung her lantern upside down because she was so preoccupied. She even begged her son to help Linda, something sh'ed never do.

Sheung Sin breaking into Linda's changing room and throwing out her clothes so she had nothing to change into, and Linda automatically assuming Sheung Sin wanted to fuck her

Sheung Sin replacing Linda as Terry's sister to piss her off and manipulating him into hating her

Also Sheung Sin staring at a picture of Linda when she's celebrating Mid Autumn Festival with her family and boyfriend.

Sheung Sin baiting Linda into spending all of her money out of spite

Two separate instances of Sheung Sin stripsearching Linda

Being Blonde Charlie's Angels spies in KC's dreamscape conducted by Sheung Sin's hypnotism

Getting kidnapped together x6?? and counting

Getting each other's eyebrows shaved off

When they went to an Onsen together in Japan and their hair turned grey and after a heart-to-heart bonding they tried to dye it back to black with seaweed (in which Sheung Sin makes sacrifices for Linda and leaves her the best ingredients), and later spend the night in a hotel room together, even their bf/husband the next morning were like "Where were you two last night..."

When Linda's husband's ex wife came back and the first thing she did was run to Sheung Sin to help her brainstorm "story ideas" to combat hypothetical ex-wives

Sheung Sin tripping Linda into a bowl of white powder so she can cosplay Guanyin at the temple

Tier 4

Asking each other to suck snake venom out when they got bit

Getting kidnapped by a crazy Chung Tau stan together and got tied up with ropes

Linda kidnapping Sheung Sin in the middle of the night to ask for her help

Linda randomly crushing on Sheung Sin's boyfriend after he saves her from a motorcycle accident (which turned out to be Sheung Sin's dad) but Sheung Sin uses this as an opportunity to mess with Linda instead of being a normal straight woman and being jealous / back off my man reaction

Rescuing KC, Rachel, Mary, and Kung Yip at KK Island with rifles and looking extremely cool

When they went on a plane to beat the "Worst airplane customer" allegations and then beat up a rich asshole together, while dressed as flight attendants

Linda making Sheung Sin her personal maid for the day, a few days actually

Sheung Sin's boyfriend using Linda's old medical reports from 20 years ago to motivate Sheung Sin into having a healthy lifestyle because nothing else was working, and we all know how much she cares about Linda's business!

Sum Yu insulting Linda by saying something along the lines of "I used to think that you were someone so mighty that only my eldest sister could go against, but you're just a coward" because everyone knows nothing gets under Linda's skin like Sheung Sin

Sheung Sin messing with Linda on her birthday and then saying "you want revenge? I'll wait for you" then winking... okay

Tier 5

An argument in a hair salon ended up with Sheung Sin in a coma, and then Linda got framed for murdering her. Then Linda goes to the hospital and holds her hand and cries telling her that she actually really cares about her, and tries acupuncture to wake her up. Then they both get chased by a serial killer inthe hospital and Linda refuses to leave Sheung SIn behind.

Sheung Sin's son falls in love with Linda after Sheung Sin is displeased in his taste in women, and tries to hypnotize him into getting a better taste in women

Getting kidnapped along with Win in the Wolf Country and then escpaing together with various silly ways

Linda going to Sheung Sin for help to hypnotize her into finding a password, and in turn told her all her deepest secrets

Got brainwashed in tradwife conversion camp together with Jenny

Chased a serial killer in the mall together while dressed as Chang'E on Mid Autumn Festival, which became notorious even a year after

Sheung Sin being depressed for days cause her plans to piss Linda off weren't working, and when she finally found out it did provoke her she was cackling like a maniac

Tier 6 (What I consider the darkest psychological warfare manipulation shit)

Their first episode together and they got kidnapped, and thought they killed a guy à la Thelma and Louise (a famously homoerotic piece of media, mind you) and almost drove into the ocean together to escape the cops and professed the gayest shit ever (24 hours after they just met btw) saying "I'm really glad I met you. If there's a next life, I hope our friendship can be longer" Y'all just met and you're already talking about reincarnating... that's soulmate behaviour

Sheung Sin pretending that her son k worded himself and made Linda think it was her fault (what kind of gaslighting) because she was jealous that her son was more afraid of Linda than of her.

Finally, Sheung Sin taking Linda's identity when she was at rock bottom and disowned, and took her relationship with her dad by becoming his goddaughter, took her dogs, sold her designer bags, and basically everything (except her boyfriend lmao she didn't want him). It's the ultimate "do i want you or do i want to become you?" phenomenon.

#come home love #tvb #lo and behold #愛回家之開心速遞

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summersareknives · 1 year

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IM BACK! okay lets see. favourite colour...prob green. maybe blue. sometimes purple. it changes a lot but rn its green lol. and im a scorpio! my bday is on halloween so i like to imagine that if i lived in the marauders era i would share my bday party with sirius🫶 fav marauders era girl.... that is such a tough one. i adore them all so very much, but id have to say either marlene or pandora. fav tv show....hm... i used to be a supernatural fan (derogatory) but the past is (thankfully) behind me. i love arcane & the umbrella academy, and also what we do in the shadows! OH and our flag means death. gay pirates are apparently my kryptonite. and the bowie lyric is "turn and face the strange" from changes! (every time i look at it it makes me think of remus in atyd with the wolves and makes me giggle fr)

and ty again for the fic rec <3 ill give u one in return: of pinstripes and potions by pansysnarkinson (jegulus forced proximity in the hospital wing, but the author is currently writing a rework here which is also very good)

now for old times sake i simply have to give more taylor songs to do: dont blame me, long story short, and so it goes🌟

okay now your turn. whats your zodiac sign? fav colour? fav tv show? fav marauders era girl? fav marauders era ship? (i know i could never pick just one but wolfstar, dorlene, and jegulus have my heart) OH and from that ask game you reblogged the other day! 20, 25, 29!

-bee

bee bee bee hello hello i love u <333

i so feel you on that favourite colour keeps changing thing . because SAME. there are so many good colours how am I to choose ???

and a halloween birthday ??? dude u got born on the day lily & james got done in by voldemort. but that’s such a cool bday honestly.

marlene & pandora is a vv good choice i love both of them with all my heart and soul.

now the tv shows -

i haven’t watched any of the ones you speak of , unfortunately. I consider myself more of a ‘comedy/chill’ girl & stuff like supernatural and umbrella academy looks like it’d stress me out.

HOWEVER . ‘gay pirates’ sounds very interesting , and i’m going to be checking that out for sure.

turn and face the strange ??? on god that’s such a good line , honestly. you’re fucking awesome and AHHHHHH. (in my head remus would love that tattoo)

i wanted a tattoo of something nice. my frontrunner is a lyric from ‘you’re my best friend’ by queen (very nice and niche i love them & this song.. here r the frontrunners for the lyrics -

me - ‘whatever this world can give to me’ // my best friend -‘it’s you , you’re all i see’

me -‘in rain or shine’ // him -‘you stood by me girl’

and one option is from ‘little freak’ by hs - me - ‘little freak’ // him - ‘jezebel.’

(upon writing this it sounds very cringe so i’ll say it would be on our foot or some concealed place. and also that this is a joke. i just want a symbol)

but i cannot convince him to do this. he’s way too fucking scared. I reckon i’ll be able to convince him soon enough , though ( if i promise him mcdonald’s hasbrowns for long enough ) maybe we’ll do our constellations , if he’s too scared of lyrics. or our birth month flowers maybe ?? something , for sure.

vis a vis fic recs - I’VE READ OF PIN STRIPES AND POTIONS. I’ve been there since the author was still on chapter seven , i’m a big fan of their writing . it’s so so so good i loved it literally so so much :))))

NOW FOR OLD TIME’S SAKE -

don’t blame me - JEGULUS - now , i’m veering a little about of canon. for me (in doa especially) either of them would go CRAZY for the other one. like fuckin tip the world apart if anyone ever did something to the other , you feel me ? and and , in doa , i have 3 don’t blame me moments planned (one is jegulus, one is wolfstar , one is rosekiller.) highly likely we’ll get a dorlene one , if i find a place to fit it in.

long story short - JEGULUS & ROSEKILLER - now , in canon , i think the line ‘i tried to pick my battles till the battle picked me’ is very regulus (& my boy hjp , but i digress) like can u imagine reg being like ‘yes james i choose u’ and then his parents imperiusing him until he takes the dark mark ??? my heart broken. ‘you passed right by’ james ignoring him after they broke up. my heart is so sad atm. it’s rosekiller (especially in the context of doa) because of the line ‘long story short it was the wrong guy , now i’m all about you’ , and this is vv much barty to evan . like so so much this line , it’s just HIM.

so it goes - JEGULUS - first of all , this is a criminally underrated song. i love it and no one ever talks about this one. Second , jegulus because ‘gold cage , hostage to my feelings’ - james is the gold cage , regulus not wanting to feel those things for him BUT HE DOES HE DOES. this song is so sexy honestly truly .

fic rec time - ‘don’t blame me, love made me crazy’ by coupe_de_foudre’ - (one shot ft secret dating jegulus , james has a quidditch accident , vv cute oneshot i love it.)

now to answer questions -

zodiac sign - pisces. i notice you’re a scorpio. very sirius and remus of us .

favourite colour - like u , it keeps changing. right now it’s pink , but a while ago it was yellow. but for now , pink. i love this colour so much , very dear to me.

fave tv show - F.R.I.E.N.D.S. Without a doubt, this show is like a cup of hot chocolate for me. always soothes me and makes me laugh. i also love himym (fuck the ending , barney+robin 5ever) & b99 .

fave marauder era girl - lily evans. hands down , no competition. she birthed the wizarding saviour , she schooled severus snape , she is the moment , she is everything. love her.

favourite marauder era ship - i simply cannot choose. i cannot and will not choose. my top four , however are (in no particular order) - wolfstar (the ogs) , jegulus ( best friends brother is the one for me) , dorlene ( enemies to lovers lesbians) , jily (parents) .

ask game -

20. tangled. no doubt. i loved it so much when it came out that i bought the blonde wig and everything. had a doll. BUT. Tiana (the princess and the frog??) is a close second.

25. yes , stellar taste. taylor swift , queen , bowie , hozier & 1D. amazing taste.

29. fusilli. the curly just does something to me .

now now now. for ur next ask i give u more questions to answer -

have u ever seen a moose ? (always wanted to ask a canadian this )

is it like minus a billion degrees all the time up there ??

what’s your favourite fic of all time? like all time. ( or top 5)

favourite golden trio era ship ?

do you write fic ? (if yes , where can i find it pls and thank you)

tea or coffee ?

go to outfit ?

how many piercings ?

& what course do u take / what’s your desired career path / what’s your favourite subject?

and a fun fact about you !

(bee feel free to give me more taylor songs to do. ‘tis our tradition , after all.)

#ess water a plant #bee <33 #ess’s marauders x ts crossover

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dnarez · 3 years

Text

Giving Siblings To A Son

Summary:

Shouto fights with his wife and is told to go to a Inn by his friends, the Inn is know to make wishes come true.

...--...

Shouto was happy with his life, he truly was.

He was the number 3 pro hero of Japan, had a beautiful wife, that is also a pro hero, no one less the Momo Yaoyorozu, who was his crush since 2nd year and girlfriend on his last.

A sweet son who had the name Shouya, that just completed 3 years, his gray hair, a mix of his white side with her black one was truly the cutest shit he's ever seen.

But now after his mother's birthday he was reminded of how good it was to have siblings, they were friends for your whole life, he wanted that his son would also have this, maybe someone to talk to when his son couldn't tell him or his wife, the image of both being friends brought warmth to his heart.

But when he thought about it, he realized his sexual life with his wife was dead, after having their son she simply stopped searching for him, and when he tried to she always had an excuse, Shouto had to "take care" of himself alone for a little more than 3 years, 4 if you count the pregnancy, maybe if he tells her that he wants another one it will help this problem that he discovered recently.

...

"You want another child?'' she looked at him through the mirror.

"Yes" he smiled a little shy''On my mother's birthday that was on the weekend I noticed how me and my siblings are close right now, even if we had a hard time showing affection before, now I know that they truly love me, I want Shouya to feel that, I'm not saying that I don't love him!" he said the ending quickly getting more and more embarrassed, to the point that his ears and cheeks were pink.

Momo was silent for a few seconds, then she went back to putting makeup on "Shouto... how many do you want?" she looked at him apprehensive.

His blush covered all of his face "I want 3 more" he looked down to his hands.

"I can't believe..." she turned around, and he saw his beautiful wife angry "ARE YOU ALSO TRYING TO MAKE WEAPONS WITH OUR SONS!? I THOUGHT YOU WANTED TO BE DIFFERENT FROM YOUR FATHER!"

Shouto quickly got inside the bathroom and closed the door behind him when she started to scream "I don't know what you are talking about, I just want my son to have friends for the rest of his life, friends that will always have his back" he frowned, how could she compare him to the shadow of the man his father once was, not only insulting him but the good man his father is today.

Momo finish her makeup and goes to him, poking him with her pointer finger "Is that your excuse!? I don't want to end up crazy like your mother!"

"My mother isn't crazy! And my father is a good man now, what he did will never, and I mean NEVER be forgotten, but he did his best to be the better man he is today, why are you attacking me like that!? I love our son more than anything, even more than I love you!"

"Are you doing this because we aren't having sex anymore? Because if that's it I advise you to stop, I don't want any more children, and we won't be having sex anymore" Momo opens the door and put her red dress on "Now finish getting ready, our classmates are waiting"

As she walked away, leaving a heartbroken Shouto, she didn't even look back at him.

...

"I punched him straight in the face!" Bakugou said proudly.

"What else wound you do?" Kaminari pointed out.

"Probably make the villain fly after being barbecued" Sero joked, making the whole table laugh.

Shouto smile at that, but he wasn't paying much attention to the guys, even if their table had only guys, and by the looks he was receiving from an ash blond and a green haired dude, he guessed that some of his friends noticed it too.

...

"Okay, what the fuck happened? Why do you look like some dog that was kicked from the moving van?" Bakugou asked his friends as the three of them were alone on the parking lot.

"I had a fight with Momo before coming to this party... she said some pretty... aggressive things..." Shouto looked down to his glass of wine.

"Like what?" Izuku got closer with his on glass of wine in hand.

"... Like my mom is crazy, and compared me to how my father was before..."

"Why did she say that? What were you two talking about?" Bakugo nudge Shouto with his elbow.

Shouto gave him a small smile, after so many years Bakugou still had a hard time with showing emotions, but he did little things to show that he was trying to comfort his friend. "I told her that I would like to give brothers and/or sisters for Shouya... she accused me of wanting more children to be weapons for me... And that it was only an excuse to have sex"

Both Bakugou and Izuku looked at him shell shocked.

"THAT BITCH!" Bakugou received an angry glare from Shouto at that "DON'T YOU DARE LOOK AT ME LIKE THAT!!! IZUKU HELP ME!"

"This is kind of an intimate question but... how long has it been since the last time you two... you know..." Izuku blushes

"Fucked"

"Kacchan no!"

"Since she got pregnant with Shouya"

"WHAT!?" both screamed at the same time.

"Isn't it normal?" Shouto tilted his head

"NO! IT FUCKING ISN'T!!!" Bakugou shouted.

"Shouto, do you do any type of skin ship with her? I know that you do like physical contact more than any other type of demonstration of love" Izuku put his hand on his friend's shoulder.

"No, she doesn't let me hug her, and I can only kiss her cheek before going to bed, and only in front of our son"

"You don't even fucking cuddle when you sleep? Even I do that with Eijiro" Katsuki crossed his arms, looking more pissed than normal.

"She sleeps in a separated room since getting pregnant, I didn't want to stress her when pregnant, so I didn't ask for her to explain, and after our son was born I step up to taking care of him more than her, since she always looked so tired..."

"Oh my god... you are literally the perfect husband and she simply- okay fuck her, you need to divorce her"

"Kacchan! Don't say that! This is his relationship, you know how Shouto his influenceable, don't put those ideas on his head!" Izuku slapped Katsuki's shoulder.

Bakugou huffs but nods in understanding "Maybe you should do something for her to notice what she's loosing"

Izuku put his hand on his chin and nods "That is a better option, you cook her meals every day, also does your son's bento, clean the house when you can, always lend her your ear for her, when she's tired you play with your son and don't let him close to her to let her relax..."

"I know a good place, since you like traditional Japanese style, It's a place with a lot of hot springs, I think you will like it, no... I'm sure of it, Me and Eijiro went there when we got time last winter" Katsuki took his cellphone from his back pocket and after a moment Shouto felt his vibrating.

"Hot Spring of Wishes" he read it out loud.

"Oh! That place is very well know for its secrecy, they can grant wishes by a price, but no one tells who grant their wishes, you said you went there, why is it Kacchan?" Izuku looked from Shouto to Katsuki.

"It was last year winter, when the biological family of my daughter wanted her back, they had a firm case, and the judge was known to not support gay marriage, much less adoption, so we both went there and made our wish" Katsuki looked up to the moon and sighed "We wouldn't have won if it weren't for that place, I'm sure of it, I can guarantee that your wish will be granted... well if you can pay the price"

"What was the price?" Izuku asked.

"I can't say, one of the gueixa that works there has a quirk called Seal, they will know when you broke the promise to not say specific things about that place, they say that if you break the promise the person that realize your wish will come to you and get what you wished for back to them" Katsuki frowned and looked at them nervous "If I tell you something like, who granted my wish, what the price that I paid was or one more thing that I can't even tell you, that person will come to my house and take my daughter with them"

"But you are the number 2 hero, how could them do that, it isn't even legal, and you should be able to spot it... right?" Shouto asked looking apprehensive.

Katsuki shook his head "No, that person is strong enough to take over the world, they don't do it because they don't want to"

Izuku and Shouto looked at him alarmed "So what does it stop some villain to go there and wish for the worst??" Izuku asked while flailing his arms around, almos spilling his drink.

"They have to accept your wish, after you go there, you are sent to your room, and while you take a bath at the hot spring, a woman will come to you and ask what do you wish for, after you tell her, she will go back inside and talk to the wish granter, they decide if your wish is good enough for them, they like the way things are, and they also have rules for wishes, you should go there and ask for your wife to appreciate you more, maybe ask for her to agree to have another child with you"

Shouto nod and look back at his phone, the pictures of that place were beautiful, and taking a break did sound good. "I have accumulated sick days, I will spend a week there."

Bakugou nods "Just make sure to leave enough bentos to your son for the whole week, your wife won't remember to do his lunch every day"

"But I do his every morning to be fresh and tasty... I don't want to send him with just a sandwich, a pack of grapes and a juice box, I like to cook him a proper meal every day... this is a problem..." Shouto frowned at his cellphone home picture, of him and his son smiling at the camera.

"I can do it for him, just tell me if he doesn't like something" Katsuki evade Shouto's thankful look.

"Thank you, you are a good friend" Bakugou nods at him, blushing.

...

The car trip was good, but exhausting, Momo was glad... too glad that he decide to take a one-week-long break.

"Welcome, I hope you have a very pleasent stay, and that all your wishes come true" a woman in a white kimono and with an empty white mask appears in front of him, her hair was the typical black japanese hair.

Shouto had reserved the whole inn for himself, being a top pro hero can be tiring, so a place like this where he could do as he wished with no worries was relaxing. "Thank you, please lead me to my room"

The woman took him to his room "Diner will be ready at 21h, the hot spring is always open, since it's only you this whole week, you can feel free and walk around freely, the hot spring has an area where the water is blood red, please don't go there, only if you are invited you can go there" The lady say as he goes into the room with his bag in hand.

"Thank you very much" he bows and she bows back.

...

The hot spring was perfect, as he let his muscles relax inside the hot water he started to hear someone walking to him.

Shouto looked atound and saw a woman with a black kimono, a black veil, but he could see the e/c of her eyes, her hair was down, the humid air didn't seem to change anything on her.

"What do your heart wish for?" She said by his ear, giving him goosebumps all over.

"I would like for my wife to agree to have another child" he looked at her eyes, but the veil was obstructing his view of the rest of her face.

"Just one more?" The woman tilted her head to the side.

He shook his head "No, I want three more, I already have one"

"Hmmmm... a lot of people come here for infertility, other people come here to try and find love, and you have money, power, a powerful quirk, a lovely wife and a healthy child, tell me, why should I accept your request?" She put her hand on his shoulder.

"Since I have everything else I can give you anything, it doesn't matter the price" Shouto's were filled with determination.

She chuckles and shakes her head "I don't need money, this inn per night is pretty expensive, I don't want power that is unnecessary, I don't need love my servants will always follow and obey me with their own free will" she gets up.

"Wait!" He also gets up not carrying for his nudity "please! I really want to give siblings for my son!" She stop and look down to his dick.

"Big..." she looks back at his face "I will accept ypur request, the price will be for you" she points at him "to impregnate me" she puts her hand on her chest.

"WHAT!? I will not cheat on my wife!" He took a few steps back.

She bows to him "Then have a nice stay mister Todoroki, your wish was denied for not being able to pay the price, if you change your mind go to the other hot spring, the one with red water" she goes inside the inn again leaving him alone.

...

You knew he would come to you, they alway come to you.

After the dinner you went to your spot on the bloody hot spring.

The thick water was scary for other, but you knew it was just the trees that had roots inside this pond, which made the water red and thick with it's sap.

As you relax in the water you hear steps coming to you making you smile "I didn't think you would come"

Shouto stop a few feets before the water "I don't have other choice... do I?"

You look back at him, and seeing your face makes him shy, you were beautiful, your lips curving into a sly smile, your eyelashes, your cheek bones, everything in you was attractive to him.

As his eyes went down accompanying a drop of water that went from your cheek, down to your neck, then your collar bone, going around your right breast until your nipple where it stay hanging, but his eyes went further down, stopping at your hips, the thick red water didn't allow him to explore more with his eyes.

You did the same, exploring him with your eyes, he had afew scars on his body, fine legs and body, but a certain feminine touch on his face, just like a doll, his dick started coming to life from seeing your body, and you could feel your core pulsating with need. "Let's go to my room, it will be better than you coming into my water" you got up and stepped out the hot spring reveling the rest of your body to him.

You see him gulp and his dick pulsate once, all to your eyes, you lick your lips and go to him "say, do your wife have big breasts? Would you prefer if mine were bigher like hers?" You say as you press then on his chest.

Shouto shook his head "too big, can't grab it all... it's annoying" he doesn't take his eyes off of gour body.

"Hmmm... so you prefer the normal sized cup, that's good, would you like to take a hold of them? Since you said that hers was annoying, I hope that I can satisfy you"

He nod and you take a step back, letting him grab your chest.

Shouto looked to be hypnotized by your body, you were smaller than Momo, also had smaller chest size, which is probably the normal size, your eyes looked at him with desire and want, something that he never saw in Momo's eyes.

You sigh aroused by the way he squeezes and pull at your breasts.

He watches tour facial expressions and massages your chest the way it gets more reactions from you, having you whimpering and giving small moans "Shouto... more"

Hearing you say his name and ask him so lovely, has him succumb to his desure as his head goes lower and he start to suck on your nipple.

"Aaaah!" You shout surprised "I told you we were going to my room!" You blush from his sudden advance.

'So many pretty faces, her sounds are extremely addictive... more... I want to see and hear more' Shouto close his eyes as he lightly bites on your right nipple and pinches the left one.

"Can't you- ah... wait? Just a little?" You pit one hand on his shoulder and pets his hair with the other "my workers will see us if we do it here"

At that Shouto releases your nipple with a wet pop, and lick his lips "Where?"

You sigh and nods to the inn "the red door"

He picks you up suddenly making you yelp surprised, but he just start to walk in to the inn... naked.

You whistle in a loud and long way, and hear a lot of doors closing to the way he was going.

"Was that a order?" He looks at you for a moment and then looks back at front.

You nod "It is, this way I ordered them to go to their roomsand not come out until further notice"

"And why did you do that?" You hug his neck to stabilize yourself, which makes your chest brush against his.

"We are both naked and walking to my room, I have enough jokes going around on my inn, I don't need anymore"

He nods and give you a small smile "let's finish this"

Shouto takes you both to the red door, which is where he puts you down, you open the door and let him in.

Your room was the only one with European style, the rest of the inn was in traditional Japanese style.

You walk to your bed and open your arms to him "come here, let's have some fun~♡"

Being called to have sex in a cute way, your open arms ready to embrace him, this is everything he wants to do with Momo, the reactions you give, the moans, he wanted to be his wife that embrace him fully, but instead he has to search for affection in another women's arms "Can you-... "

You watch him going back to being shy and tilt your head to the side, but don't lower your arms "do you want to request something?"

"Would you please call me Sho? And... what do I call you?" He looks away from you and tries to cover his dick with his hands, which he fails.

"You can call me anything you like, my name doesn't matter, okay?... Sho"

He blushes and nod as he stop covering himself and walks to you.

You put your hands on his chest and the back of his neck "Please kiss me Sho"

He grows and kiss you, his hands explore your body slowly, going to your hips then to your butt where he gives a squeeze, then back at your breasts where he goes back to massage it.

You lick his bottom lip and he open his mouth to you giving you access to his tongue.

The feeling of his slight cold hand going around your warm body making you go crazy with him.

Your tongue tasted sweet on his mouth, Shouto lays you down on the bed slowly, not stopping his hands, but breaking the kiss to breath.

The scenario in front of him has his dick pulsating and dropping precum on your thigh 'she wants me like I want her, so pretty, what do I call her? I want to mame this person so that she can temporarily be mine, just for this week...'

You put your hand on his cheek "what will be my name Sho?" You ask sweetly, as your hand goes and grab his dick "Sweetie? Maybe Honey? Dear? Or your wife's name? You can call me anything that you want"

"T-then..." his hips jerk on your hand as you slowly start to masturbate him "Love..." you look at him surprised and smile "Yes... you are my love"

He close his eyes and kiss you again, going straight for a small tongue fight, that he won easily.

Your hands, both go down, one of them jerking him off, and the other fondling with his balls.

Shouto moans into the kiss 'Momo never did something like this every time we had sex it was about her, she didn't let me fondle with her breasts, or explore her body with care, she would just use lubricant om herself, I would fuck her, and after I came she would take care of herself, not letting me touch her anymore'

You break the kiss and push his shoulder until he was laying down on the bed, you got yourself between his legs and licked his balls, yoi see the goose bumps on his legs, and just now notice that his pubic hair is also half white and half red.

He watches you with a lot of interest 'Momo only went down on me when I begged her to, and would always look disgusted, I would feel very unwanted and gross after, but... she is-!' Shouto's thoughts were cut by your mouth wrapping around the head of his dick.

He groans as you take more of him on your mouth, you facial expression shows pleasure, like you are sucking a delicious lollipop, and it makes him feel wanted, like you want to taste him and give him pleasure.

You bob your head up and down, taking more of him each time, being careful with your teeth and brushing your tongue on his more predominant veins, which hives you more breathy moans and groans.

He fit so well on your mouth, and his moans plus his dick om your mouth has you aroused to the point of feeling your slick on you lower lips.

Shouto trows his head back when your nose brush against his pubic hair after taking all of him in. "LOVE! My love! I'm gonna cum!" You quickly take your mouth off him which he whines at the cold air and the way his sick slap against his skin, all wet with your saliva, but the way you looked at him, like you were famish, made his dick throb in want.

You lick you lips and raise to your knees, you incline yourself a little backwards and open more your legs "Can you help me get ready? You will be the biggest I ever had" you open your lower lips and gives him a little show, your slick all ovee your thighs, showing him the effect of sucking him.

Shouto eagerly nods and give you his hand "sit on my face, please"

You do as told and as you sit on his face he starts immediately.

Circling your clit with the tip of his stiff tongue, then he relaxes it and goes in circles again around it, going from slow to fast, to slow again, loving the way your body flexes and relax under his treatment.

"Sho! Your so good at this!" Hearing you compliment him makes Shouto wants more of it, of everything you can give.

Your taste is intoxicating, so different from his wife, you taste sweet with the normal bitterness of the human fluid, since he wanted more of it he put his tongue inside you and moved it around collecting moew fluids as you moan throwing your head back and calling his name in such a lovely way.

You wiggle your hips trying to feel more of him, Shouto had an idea, he cupped both your clit and your entrance with his mouth and sucked on it, making you moan loudly and your body shivers from the sensation.

"W-wait! If you do it like that I will come!" You say trying to raise yourself from him, but he hook his arms around your thighs and pull you closer, now he was sucking only on your clit and he started circling it with his relaxed tongue.

It was too much, thhe sucking, the licking, so much so that he made you cum on his tongue, and as you did it, he lapped on your juices drinking it all, until you were too sensitive and was constantly trying to get out of his grip.

Shouto releases you and you fall back on the bed "Your wife is really lucky, you do an excellent job with your tongue" he hovers on top of you and smiles at you.

"Yes, you're really lucky my love, but I'm more, since I have you all to myself" the way he caresses your face makes you realize that he wants to act like you are his wife, not his actually wife that gave birth to his son, hut it's as if he wants to pretend just a bit, that he isn't neglected by the person he loves, so you let him.

You smile back and nuzzle his hand "We are both luck my husband, my Shouto" you hug his neck bringing him in, and you feel tears falling on your face as he passionately kiss you.

He holds you close and dearly as if you are very delicate and precious "my love, I know this is sudden but... let's have a child, one of our own, they will have your beautiful hair, my eyes, maybe a mixture of the two of us, how about it?"

You nod playing along "Then today is a good day, let's have a child that has your hair and my eyes, let's build our family Sho!" He sobs at that and nods opening your legs and trusting his hips against yours, making the head of his dick press against your entrance.

You hug his waist with your legs and pull him, the head pops in and you both shiver from it "More... Sho" you bring his face to yours and kiss his scar "please Sho, I want more of you" he looks back at you like you are a goddess and kiss you passionately while lightly trusting into you, until he got totally inside of you.

"There... but... you are so tight! I won't be able to hold back for long, my love... I'm sorry"

You shook your head "it's fine, this way we can build our family sooner, please Sho, I need more" you wiggle your hips up, and sifhs at the sensation of being full.

He nods and start to move, the feeling of your walls squeezing him, and how hot and wet you were, so perfect, so sweet, just for him, so he takes what he wants, and trust into you making you moan at him.

Again... and again, he went deeper and faster with each trust, his arms got tired from holding himself up, so he let his face fall between your breasts without stopping his hips.

You carve your nails into his back and moans sweetly in his ears, nothing fake and loud, just quiet but showing that you loved the feeling he was giving you.

You feel him biting down on your neck and that make you yelp, but it turns into a moan when he brush against your G-point making your whole body shudder.

"Here?" He trust against it again and draw blood from his back with your nails "ah, you do like it here, go on love, feel all my heart and soul being poured into you" he nibbles on another place and keep trusting there.

As your pleasure rise you aslo bite and mark him all over his body "Sho! That way you will really get me pregnant!"

"But... that's the point... right?" He goes deeper with a strong trust and hits your womb, it hurts but it's the kind of pain that you like it.

The pleasure keeps building up, to the point that a little more will make you cum, and you do when you feel his mouth around your nipple.

Your back arches but he doesn't release you, but instead keep trusting, hearing you moan and quenching around him is driving him crazy.

Shouto frantically trusts into your sensitive pussy without a break, feeling so much off you, your smell, your taste, your sounds, how you wrap around him tighly like you don't want him to go, so perfect, his wife... is really perfect.

He cums inside of you, but keeps hiving shallow trusts into you.

You sigh relaxed and he gently lay you down on the bed, but doesn't pull out, instead you feel his shoulders trembling and feel your chest getting wet, you look at him and raise his face to yours, you see him crying and sobbing. "Hey! What's up? What happened??" You pet his face lovingly and caresses his cheek under his scar.

"Momo... I'm sorry! I'm an awful husband! What the fuck am I doing??? I-I just- please don't let go off me... please" he buries his face on your chest once more and you pet his head.

"Don't worry, it will be our secret" you kiss the top of his head and keep petting him.

The other workers giggle, both pregnant with the last winter wishes, glad to have another powerful child on their way.

#shoto todoroki x reader #todoroki shoto x reader #shoto x reader #todoroki shouto #mha shouto #shouto x you #smut #oneshot #ao3 fanfic

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girlgrouptrash101 · 3 years

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Lisa (Blackpink) as Your Girlfriend

Request: “HEADCANON’s are my thing. Can I request Lisa as your girlfriend, please?”

A/N: lovesick girls SOTY,,, that’s all i have to say

- C

Get ready to be treated like royalty,, miss manoban won’t settle for anything less when it comes to her baby

Lisa is always romantic, whether its taking you our for a candle-lit, romantic dinner or just staying at home and slow dancing around the living room together

Your guys’ apartment would be the perfect blend of both your tastes, with a gorgeous, retro, red jukebox in the living room that you and Lisa play music from whenever you’re at home

You have a big photograph wall in your room of all the memories you’ve had together,, with most of the pictures being taken by your very own personal photographer Lisa hehe

her camera goes everywhere with her, and she has millions of photos of you that you’ve never even seen, as Lisa loves to keep them to herself so she can look through them when she’s away and misses you

the rest of the pinks are basically your best friends, and they basically knew you before they even met you, thanks to Lisa’s constant gushing over how amazing you are and how lucky she is to be with you :’]

you’re always invited to their shows and concerts,,, and the absolute joy you get seeing all Lisa’s fans scream for her knowing she all yours at the end of the day simply cannot be put into words

on long days before comebacks, you often find yourself heading to Blackpink’s practice room with snacks in hand, reminding the girls to stop overworking themselves and put their health first!

Lisa always teaches you her new dances, even if you have two left feet lol

she loves watching you learn, and after a few months she’s really helped you improve - even if most of you lessons end up to you and her dancing to crazy frog around the practice room like maniacs

the most fun dates!! Like one time you and Lisa went to every single ice cream parlour in your city and reviewed each one to find out which one had the best ice cream around

like YES you were both stuffed and couldn’t touch ice cream for about a month after because you hadn’t recovered... but it was still worth it

the two of you also love to pack a picnic and a blanket, taking a drive out to the big fields in the country side

there’s nothing else around you for miles, just you, Lisa and the sound of birds as they fly by and nest in trees, the two of you just enjoying the blissful break from city life

Plus you get to make daisy chains and talk about the most random things as you lounge on the blanket you packed, completely at ease with life and with one another

you love talking to Lisa so much; your conversation can honestly range from questioning the creation of humanity to talking about your favourite flavour of ice cream (mint choco team rise up)

she always does that little thing with her thumb when she holds your hand, rubbing her thumb ever so softly across the back of your hand and it makes your heart go dsfjksskl

gives the BESTEST hugs ever omg

her head rests on top of yours as she loops her arms around her waist and yours drape around her shoulders, your head against her chest or on her shoulder as she holds you tight against her

also gives A+ cuddles too, she’s like your own personal teddy bear that you can just never pull away from,,, she’s too warm and soft,, you always end up spending hours in her arms whenever you can

INTENSE JUST DANCE BATTLES IN THE LIVING ROOM

rumour has it you almost broke your knees trying to beat Lisa at the rasputin dance - spoiler alert, she still won like she always does jndsfdklds

shopping dates!! which are actually really fun,, Lisa always picks out something for the both of you that’s absolutely ABSURD, and when you go and try it on the two of you end up cracking up with laughter

don’t tell anyone but half the time when Lisa buys clothes for herself she goes for things that you would like in hopes that you borrow them off her... because YOU... in HER CLOTHES... she might just cry uwu

dating Lisa and accidentally becoming a parent to all FOUR of her cats.. good luck i guess xoxo

she loves taking you to Thailand to meet her family, and bringing you to all her favourite spots as a child, wanting to make new memories there with you by her side

she’s also one to show up on your doorstep with two plane tickets and a suitcase packed for you - she doesn’t even tell you where you’re going, but she always has a plan and brings you on the most memorable and life changing trips around the world

she just wants to make so many memories with you and switch things up when you least expect; Lisa loves to keep you on your toes

plus,,,, more memories = more stories to tell your kids when you get to that milestone in the future

which Lisa definitely sees happening, she’s never, ever leaving you behind, it would be a crime to lose a love as strong as yours.

NSFW From Here:

kind of a service top tbh,,, like this girl just wants her baby to be feeling good and satisfied

will have her way with you any time any place though,, like she always catches you so off guard - you could be just cooking dinner and then all of a sudden she’s crept up behind you and her hand is down your pants

“and I’ll do it again” - Lisa after eating you out on the kitchen counter top x

It drives her fucking insane when you moan out her name, and it only spurs her on to fuck you harder and faster, listening to each heavenly scream spill from your lips

less into sending you nudes and more into sending you steamy choreographies that she’d been practicing just for you

Lisa feels the best when she’s dancing, and she knows just how worked up you get when you watch her dancing to something sexy, so she never hesitates to invite you to the practice room when she knows she’s going to be putting on a show

which usually ends up with you against the practice room mirror, begging for Lisa to go harder and harder - probably scaring away everyone else in the YG building </3

definitely has a rainbow coloured strap on because gay rights

tbh you couldn’t care less what colour it is - you don’t even know anything except Lisa’s name when she’s using it, each thrust driving you closer and closer to that glorious edge

Lisa absolutely LOVES when you take care of her too, especially after a long day of schedules when she just gets to come home and ride your face until she crashes from tiredness

her favourite thing in the world is getting eaten out, her long legs wrapping around your head to keep her close to her core while her head is thrown back in pleasure

i could definitely see her being into wax play too, mainly because she think its so gorgeous,, the hot wax melting onto your skin and creating a beautiful picture on her favourite canvas

Lisa in thigh high boots......... and deep red lingerie........... thinking so many thoughts

absolutely LOVES receiving/sending nudes, and she saves every single one in a locked folder for her to look back on when she’s busy on tour and missing your touch

and don’t be surprised if you get a facetime call in the middle of the night, filled with Lisa’s whines and moans as she touches herself over the phone, driving you crazy knowing you can’t be there to please her the way she so clearly desires

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emotions-ew · 3 years

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A Collection of Queer Country Artists and Songs for anyone who doesn’t feel like there’s country music they can relate to...

There is this idea that country music is like just Republican men singing about beer, and trucks and also Jesus, and that is kind of fair because loads of it is but there are some cool as hell queer/lgbtq+ country artists. Finding those and finding that representation in a genre of music I was literally raised on kind of changed my life in a tiny way and I wanted to share that.

(This is by no means a comprehensive list and also I’m basing the “Country” part of this sometimes on my subjective opinion/limited music knowledge so yuh please don’t hate me if I get some wrong)

Also link below for a Spotify playlist of my favourite gay/gayish country music, some mentioned in this post some not, (with a title that isn’t obviously gay for anyone who can’t openly listen to gay stuff on their public accounts for whatever reason) so feel free to skip the massive essay and just jump straight to that. And pretty please repost if I missed anyone/ any songs you love.

https://open.spotify.com/playlist/7KB6PmUxnpkU7lih8Bysvw

Artists To Follow:

Chely Wright

- Right off the bat, Chely Wright is a legend and I’m in love with her. So, in the 90′s Chely Wright was kind of a huge deal. She started her career as a singer/songwriter and released her first album in ‘94, which was critically acclaimed although never reached the commercial success of her later works. By ‘97 she was really hitting her stride, dropping her breakout hit “Shut up and Drive” (a personal favourite of mine) followed two years later by the biggest hit of her career “Single White Female”. Throughout all that Chely Wright was, to the world, a good old fashioned, heterosexual southern gal. Privately it was a bit of a different story. She had public relationships with male country artists, all while pursuing a secret decade long relationship with a woman.

I hadn’t ever really heard a Chely Wright song until a few years ago so I never knew about her music or career pre-coming out but I do know that even though by the time she came out in 2010 she was by no means at the height of her fame Chely Wright is kind of one of the biggest names in country music to be out and proud (in my opinion) and I love her like an insane amount. I literally play her music in my car when I have passengers just so I can be like “fun fact this singer is actually gay-” and then subject them to a lengthy explanation of her entire career. She came out with an album and a memoir and the album is my favourite of her work because it’s so fucking raw and because I relate to most of it immensely. Anyways Chely Wright went fucking through it in her journey to being her authentic self and now she’s out and proud and married to a woman and they have a family together and I’m a fucking sucker for a happy ending and y’all should add her to every playlist you have. And on top of that her music is genuinely good. Coming out undoubtedly damaged her career but I think that

Brandi Carlile

- As far as I can tell Brandi Carlile has been out her whole career. I feel like this list is just going to be me saying “I’m in love with her” about a bunch of women old enough to be my mother but in my defence, I am honestly in love with her. She’s been making music since she was like, seventeen, and has had a bunch of massive hits, as a singer, songwriter, and producer. If you want to cry kind of happy tears listen to her performance of “Bring my Flowers Now” with Tanya Tucker. She’s won Grammy’s and CMT awards and she’s done it all as an out Queer woman. She’s also a founding member of The Highwomen, an all-female country music group who released their first album in 2019, comprised of Carlile, Marren Morris, Natalie Hemby and Amanda Shires. I really love this band because they’re four artists who are immensely successfully in their own right collabing, much like the Highwaymen, and their music is phenomenal while also being a fuck you to mainstream country music and their inability to properly represent women in country music spaces.

She’s been married to a woman (smoking hot and also brilliant) since 2012 and they have two kids together and if you want to cry (again) then you have to listen to her song “Mother” about her eldest daughter. A queer country artist absolutely worth adding to all your playlists.

Brooke Eden

- As I understand it Eden came out publicly in January of this year. She’s engaged to Hilary Hoover, who she’s been dating since 2015 apparently. I can’t even imagine the pressure that must be on a person and how stressful it would be to keep a relationship secret from the whole world for years and personally I think they’re a cute as hell couple and I wish them literally all the happiness in the world.

Brooke Eden has a few older songs that I think are really good, my favourite being “Act Like You Don’t”, and while her new stuff isn’t my usual country vibe I am a sucker for literally anything gay and it is legally my gay duty to stream any song that she releases to support my fellow queer. It’s quite different to anything Wright or Carlile sing but I actually kind of love that because it shows that country music of all different shapes and sizes and styles can be sung by queer artists.

Amythyst Kiah

- Okay so I am a very new listener to Amythyst Kiah, but her music is literally so beautiful it would be a straight up sin to not include her on this list. Her music is country-blues-roots esq (more roots than country, I think?) and her voice is so unique. She grew up in Chattanooga and has been playing music since childhood. She recently made her Opry debut which is fucking awesome. She also belongs to a band called Our Native Daughters, described as “A supergroup of Black women in traditional music”. Their debut album “Songs of Our Native Daughters” did numbers and I haven’t listened to the whole thing but my favourite so far are “Black Myself” and “I Knew I Could Fly” so y’all add that to your playlists along with “Wild Turkey” by Amythyst Kiah because holy hell her voice on that will blow your mind.

Steve Grand

- The first man to make this list, he should frankly be honoured. Grand has been an out and proud gay man making country music since like 2013, and I have so much respect for an artist who chose to simply never be in, choosing instead to simply write gay ass songs about being in love with men and letting the chips fall where they man. His music is always going to have a special place in my heart and, he’s cute so if you’re into men and music by men give him a google. add him to your playlists, his All-American Boy album is literally just a dozen songs that are perfect to yell-sing along to.

Katie Pruitt

- Not hugely knowledgeable on Katie Pruitt but her music makes me feel crazy intense emotions and is absolutely gay

Honorable Mention Artists I haven’t Really Listened to But Who I Know to be gay thanks to google and might be your thing so totally check them out:

Brandy Clark

Ty Herndon

Shelly Fairchild

Lavendar Country

Trixie Mattel

Cameron Hawthorn

Drop any other names of artists or songs you know of

Specific Songs That Make Me Fucking Cry or (in good and bad ways (but always in a gay way)) or basically are just gay as hell:

If She Ever Leaves Me; The Highwomen

- So, this album came out about a week before my first (and only) girlfriend broke up with me. The general gist of the song is a woman singing about how her loved isn’t ever going to leave her but if she does it sure as hell won’t be for a creepy man in a bar. A little ironic that I felt I related to it so intensely, considering she did in fact leave me. There’s this one lyric that goes “I’ve loved her in secret/I’ve lover here out loud/the sky hasn’t always been blue” and my girlfriend and I were crazy deep in the closet so I drew her a cute little picture of a grey cloud and on the back I wrote that lyric and I gave it to her and to me it was kind of a promise that one day I’d get a chance to love her out loud and even though I never actually did this song is forever going to make me cry because of the little bit of hope that lyric gave me and the way it’s inclusion on this overwhelmingly mainstream country album made me feel like acceptance was just that little bit closer.

All American Boy; Steve Grand

- Definitely one of the first gay country songs I ever heard, and Steve Grand didn’t once sacrifice a scrap of country for the gay. It’s beautiful, it’s a little sad, it’s hopeful. It’s forever going to hold a special place in my heart and the music videos is kind of one of my favourites ever. I found this song before I found myself and the way it made my heart warm should have been a stronger sign than I took it to be.

Like Me; Chely Wright

- When you love someone you kind of make it your mission to know them in a way that no one else can. This song by Chely Wright is sort of an ode to that, and how even once you lost someone, you’re still going to know every little thing about them. On top of that it sort of speaks to the idea that all these things Wright learned about this woman, she learned in secret and she knew her and loved her in secret and now that they’re gone from each other she’s left with all of this knowledge and all of these questions and no one to answer them. I love the way it’s so slow and the melody and her voice, the way it’s low and a little raspy, make this one of my favourite Chely Wright songs.

The Mother; Brandi Carlile

- Sorry but a song about being a mother by a queer woman is going to make me cry every time and actually I’m not that sorry. It’s quite a simple song, if any song written by Brandi Carlile can ever be described as ‘simple’, it’s an ode to her daughter. My favourite line is “you are not an accident/where no one thought it through” because it speaks to the fact that in order for queer women to have a kid together they have to want it so damn bad and also I just like the way her voice sounds on that line. This song is also the perfect thing to listen to if you ever for a second feel like being gay/queer is going to stand in the way of you having a family because it absolutely doesn’t have to and if that’s something you want, you can have it. Don’t let people try and convince you otherwise.

Loving Her; Katie Pruitt

- Unapologetic gay love. Opening a song with “If loving hers a sin, I don’t wanna go to heaven” is a fucking baller move and she went there. The lyrics are beautiful, and her voice is phenomenal. It could be a sad song, about confronting religious repression and grappling with what that means for your love, but instead its triumphant. Katie Pruitt doesn’t give a fuck if you have a problem because she’s going to write songs for her lover.

Jesus From Texas; Semler

- Not actually totally sure this is a country song, but it has the words ‘Jesus’ and ‘Texas’ in the title so I feel safe including it in this list. Honestly, I don’t really know why I relate so hard to this song. Like, I wasn’t really raised with religion, so I don’t know what it is about this funky little tune that makes me want to sob but there’s something about this tune that makes me want to do whatever the opposite of get up and dance is, but like, in a good way.

Lovin’ Again; Steve Grand

- Breakup song that ends kind of positively? So good to sing along to at high, high volumes. The idea that losing someone doesn’t have to mean losing yourself and just because you can’t love them doesn’t mean you’re not ever going to love again. But also kind of about how it’s hard to get over someone, I don’t know it’s just good.

Cryin’ These Cocksucking Tears; Lavender Country

- Jesus christ if this isn’t the coolest shit I’ve ever heard in my life. Sorry but a gay country group formed in 1972 who dropped possibly the first gay themed country album, and this was the title of one of the songs. God I am in love.

Songs that (to me) are a little fruity or that I just relate to in a gay way:

Picket Fences; Chely Wright

- Chely Wright is gay but this song came out long before she did and when she wrote it, it wasn’t supposed to be gay which is why it’s in this section and not the previous. The reason it’s included at all is because frankly ma’am, Mrs Wright, it’s a little fruity. And I feel a little bad for joking because honestly to me, the way I hear this song and knowing the context (that Wright was deeply closeted at the time she wrote and released it), it’s kind of just sad. The general gist of the song is Wright asking what’s so great about a traditional lifestyle anyways. It could be read as a woman genuinely questioning why we push that expectation that she’ll have two kids and a husband and a picket fence lifestyle, or even could be read as a woman who’s trying to deflect how much she does in fact want that, you have to listen and form your own opinion. But to me, it feels like a woman who’s desperately trying to justify why she doesn’t want that life not because she can’t have it, but she knows it will never be right for her. I don’t know it’s hard to explain I just feel like this song is a little bit gay even though I’m sure she didn’t intend that.

Sinning with You; Sam Hunt

- Sorry but this song is gay. Sorry but you can’t write the lines “I never felt like I was sinning with you/Always felt like I could talk to God in the morning” and “if it’s so wrong why did it feel so right” and “But I never felt shame, never felt sorry/Never felt guilty touching your body” and not to mention the opening line of “raised in the first pew/praises for yeshua/case of a small town repression”, and expect to not sit in my car sobbing as I realised that while I never felt like what we did was a sin she absolutely did, and wishing I could have told her that I was sorry for making her carry the weight of both our souls but also that it wasn’t a sin and nothing in the world could feel that good and be that bad and it isn’t right that she had to be so ashamed of something that was just so good. Sam Hunt actually said after he wrote the song that while it was reflection on his own relationship with faith he genuinely hopes that people in the lgbtq community can like find comfort or whatever in his words and like go off king, we stan an ally.

How do I Get There; Deana Carter

- This ones easy, it’s about falling in love with your best friend and suddenly realising you want more than just friendship with them. Sorry Deana, that’s gay. In my Deana Carter of like Year 10 I played this song on repeat and screamed along to the lyrics as though singing it hard enough would make her like me back.

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qqueenofhades · 3 years

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Did Ivan and Fedyor ever have, like, one of those big first fights where there is this uncertainty of "are we over now?" ? I mean, they would be alright in the end, but between Fedyor's overthinking and Ivan probably not having a lot of experience with relationships, there would be room for them worrying for a time after it.

Sequel to this and prequel to this. Set, as usual, in Phantom!Verse.

Moscow, 2013

June 30, 2013, is not a good day. In fact, it might be the worst of all the days of Fedyor Kaminsky’s life to date, and it is made absolutely no better by the fact that he’s long known it was coming – he just hoped, however vainly, that it wouldn’t. Three weeks ago, on June eleventh, the Duma unanimously passed the law formally entitled “For the Purpose of Protecting Children from Information Advocating For a Denial of Traditional Family Values,” with only one abstention and no dissenting votes, and President Putin is going to ceremoniously sign it into law today. It’s more pithily known as the “anti-gay law,” and it basically prohibits anything related to acknowledging that homosexuals exist in Russia. Fedyor has been anxiously following its progress with his activist friends in their group chats, all of them praying for some last-minute miracle to swoop in and knock it off course. Now that’s not going to happen. He has no idea what is going to happen, but to say the least, it won’t be good. He’s taken some body blows before, but this one sucks.

Fedyor vacillates wildly between wanting to watch the signing ceremony just to scream obscenities at it, and wanting to hide under the covers with the pillows over his head and cry. He texts frenetically with his friend Lyosha, who lost his position at Perm State University a few months ago for daring to do research about LGBTQ people, and is already planning to head into exile abroad. Does he have to do that too? Fedyor has lived in Russia his entire life, even if he has traveled internationally and has lots of foreign friends. He could stay. He could try to fight this thing somehow. He could do more. He should do more.

But how?

When Ivan gets home from work at six o’clock that night, that’s where he finds Fedyor: sitting on the living room floor under a quilt and neurotically eating chocolate biscuits, texting and crying. He drops his backpack and rushes over. “Fedya? Fedya! What’s wrong?”

“He signed it,” Fedyor says flatly. No more elaboration is necessary. “So now we’re fucked.”

Ivan looks troubled. He rocks back on his heels next to Fedyor and searches for the words. Then he says, clearly trying to be helpful, “Maybe not. Nobody has to know about us. If we just keep on like before, go about our daily lives, it will be all right. We are not important people. Why would they bother with us?”

“What?” Fedyor wipes his eyes with the back of his hand and lurches upright, shedding the quilt and a shower of cookie crumbs. “What are you talking about? Just – deny ourselves and go back in the closet and pretend we’re not here, that those assholes won? Go out, but make sure I never hold your hand walking down the street or dare to pretend that we are together? I don’t want to be afraid every second we’re out in public, Vanya! I don’t want to be wondering if maybe they’ll look at my emails or cook up some other reason to come after us! Lyosha already got fired before this even officially passed, and – ”

“Lyosha was a radical beforehand,” Ivan says dismissively. “It wasn’t because of this, I’m sure. So what? He’ll get a fancy position somewhere else. The West will love to take in the gay Russian, persecuted by the barbaric Putin regime, to show off how humane and enlightened they think they are. He will be fine.”

Fedyor looks at him as if he has two heads. “That’s how you’re reacting to this?”

“What am I supposed to do about it?” Ivan shrugs. “We have to make the best. What else are we going to do? Leave Russia?”

“Maybe we have to. What other choice do we have?”

“Stay?” Now it’s Ivan’s turn to sound like he’s talking nonsense. “Russia is our home!”

“Look, Vanya. I know you and I think differently about things, and we’ve gotten used to that. But I can’t – I physically cannot – stay in a place where I am criminalized for existing, for loving you, for being afraid that something will happen to us. We have to go.”

“No.” Ivan’s voice is colder than Fedyor has ever heard it. He sounds like a stranger. “No, we don’t. That’s crazy talk. Where would we go? America?”

“At least America doesn’t have this law!”

“America has no law that is helpful for us!” Ivan shouts. “And I’m not going there. The end! You make that choice, Fedya. Exile, or me?”

There’s a horrible silence in the wake of that pronouncement, as they stare at each other and Ivan instantly looks like he wants to bite it back, but it’s too late. Fedyor turns on his heel and marches away in frozen silence, refusing to utter a single word to Ivan for the rest of the night, even as Ivan tries to apologize and coax him into speaking again. Finally, taking the hint, he takes his things and silently goes to sleep on the couch, and Fedyor lies in their bed, staring at the ceiling and tossing and turning. Ivan didn’t mean that, right? Or maybe he did? Flee Russia, start a new life somewhere across the sea, but leave his boyfriend behind? Until recently, he thought Ivan Sakharov was the love of his life. Maybe he isn’t. Or even more terrifyingly, he is, and Fedyor will have to give him up anyway.

The rest of the week is just as bad. Ivan leaves early for work and keeps to himself when he gets home, while Fedyor starts Googling the U.S. asylum-claim process and reaching out to North American-based friends who can help with logistics. He spends hours on the computer, takes reams of notes, and doesn’t feel any better. Is he planning this for them or for him? He needs to answer that question like, now, and yet the prospect fills him with sickening dread. He cries himself to sleep with the bedroom door shut, and hears awkward shuffling in the corridor outside, like Ivan is listening and desperately wants to come in, but doesn’t think Fedyor wants him there. That’s even worse.

Finally, on Saturday night, Fedyor decides that they can’t go on like this. He drags himself out of his cave of blankets and cooks a nice supper, while Ivan goes for his usual afternoon workout at the gym, and when he comes back, he blinks. “Fedya? What’s this about?”

“We need…” Fedyor’s throat is a desert. “We need to talk about us.”

Those six little words are usually the kiss of death in any relationship, and he has no idea what’s about to happen next, but Ivan’s face wrenches in half like a torn piece of paper. He opens his mouth, shuts it, shakes his head furiously, and comes to a sudden and unassailable decision. With that, still in his gym clothes, he drops his bag and goes to one knee on the creaky wooden floor of their kitchen, in this humble sixth-floor Moscow flat that is the first place Fedyor ever knew pure and perfect happiness. “Okay,” he says. “How is this for a start. Fedyor Mikhailovich Kaminsky, will you marry me?”

Fedyor stares at him, utterly blankly, seized with the horrible fear that Ivan is making fun of him. “Have you – are you – are you serious?”

“Yes.” Ivan reaches into his pocket and pulls out a small box. “I wanted to do this in a different way, but maybe this is better. Fedya, I don’t – I can’t – I don’t want to live without you. I’ll even move to America if you want to. I’m no good without you. I can’t. Please.”

Fedyor continues to stare at him. Then finally he moves closer, as Ivan holds out the ring with a look of utter, silent entreaty, his heart wrung out and raw in his eyes. “Are you – ” Fedyor’s voice is a whisper. “Are you sure?”

“Yes,” Ivan says again, strong and steady. “More than I have ever been about anything.”

Fedyor starts to answer, and simply can’t. He starts to shake from head to toe, and Ivan scoots forward, still on his knees, and wraps both arms around Fedyor’s waist, burying his face in Fedyor’s stomach. Fedyor clutches hold of him and sinks down, the two of them barely making a sound. Finally, he whispers, “You hate America.”

“I don’t,” Ivan says. “Not really. But either way, I love you, Fedya. And I’m choosing that.”

Fedyor grips Ivan’s face in his hands and kisses him thoroughly, then remembers that he still technically hasn’t accepted his proposal, and he should do that. He holds out his right hand so Ivan can slip on the plain band, with the promise to buy him a nicer one once they get to wherever they’re going. He’ll help with arrangements, he promises. Whatever Fedyor needs him to do.

They board an Aeroflot flight, Moscow Sheremetyevo–New York JFK, on the evening of August 3, 2013, with all their worldly belongings either in the cargo hold or waiting to be shipped over by Fedyor’s parents. They hold hands in the terminal, unobtrusively, and when they get on the plane. And even as the jet engines roar into takeoff and the lights of his homeland fall away into the clouds for what might be the last time in who knows how long, Fedyor Kaminsky can’t help but feeling, once again, ready to start anew.

#ivan x fedyor #heartrender husbands #fivan #a phantom in enchanting light #pel asks #anonymous #ask #fivan ff

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vidavalor · 3 years

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SamBucky people... a balm for the broken-hearted here...

About what the producers/directors, etc are saying...

I’m not going to say that their approach to this does any service to anybody-- *including* the studio morons who can’t see that they could make $ by having more LGBTQIA characters in their stories (and that seems to be their primary motivation so...)

The thing is, once the people involved in the show define a character’s sexuality, they are also doing something else-- they are also specifically saying what a character *isn’t*. If the producers say that Bucky is bisexual, then there are fans out there who are going to feel betrayed. I’m fairly certain there are maybe like I dunno five? fans who actually think that Bucky is straight (lol) but fans tend to ascribe whatever their wishes for a character are onto that character. They project far, far more than what a show’s canon actually suggests. Think about how, as SamBucky shippers, if the producers said in an interview tomorrow that Sam is asexual, you’d be disappointed because then it would feel in violation of canon to ship SamBucky in the way you already were. (BTW, if a show doesn’t make *some* character asexual at some point soon.... grr.) Would it still be a great show? Of course! Would we still love Sam? I would hope so because Sam is awesome! But you can see my point which is that confirming one thing eliminates something else. Producers don’t want to do that because they don’t want to alienate fanbases. They want as many people as possible to watch their stuff so they traffic in vagueness with most characters, with only cishet ships really getting any daylight as canon because that is still how the majority of people identify. Is this good? God, no...

Marvel is also really the worst with it. The comics, often written decades earlier, were often more progressive than the MCU is. But this doesn’t mean that there is a lack of *intent* in how something is made. As a writer, I can tell you that TFATWS is written with romance beats-- not the story beats even of a buddy cop drama. That could maybe get you through the first two episodes. Past that, it’s a romance. More than that, it’s a damn *Hallmark* romance, minus a Christmas tree. TFATWS is one cookie baking scene away from Sam & Bucky having made out under a gazebo at the Delacroix Dancing Reindeer Festival or something. The actors are clearly acting with intent-- this isn’t just Stan & Mackie’s “natural chemistry” or what have you. There is no universe on earth in which the actors, the director, the producers, the *studio*, looked at the dailies (early rough cut of filmed scenes) for the boat scene where Bucky reaches for Sam’s hips and went “oh, this will definitely come across as Bucky isn’t the slightest bit interested in men”. There is no way that a scene of two guys rolling in a flower field was not meant to contain a heaping dose of homoeroticism. And those are just two of the examples-- if I went on and got into actual subtle ones, I’d be recapping *every single Sam and Bucky scene* in TFATWS and you all saw it.

For an example of how this attitude can exist and not be kind of toxic to a fandom, anyone who hasn’t seen it already should go check out Good Omens. If you think SamBucky is a love story, wait until you watch an actual enemies-to-friends-to-married couple that includes a 6,000 year slow burn and is one of the most romantic stories ever filmed (all while being insanely smart and funny at the same time.) There’s no overt declaration of love, no kiss but there is also absolutely, positively zero doubt that this angel and this demon (who are each a little of both, really) are over the moon crazy in love with one another. When this is put to the co-writer of the novel & producer of the series, Neil Gaiman, he affirms that it is a love story-- that Crowley and Aziraphale love one another. Even though the vast-- and I mean vast-- majority of people watching it will see it as a romantic love, the Good Omens fanbase has people who see different things in the relationship. There are a lot of fans who are into the potential asexuality of the characters. (Personally, I don’t think this works-- not because I have an issue with asexuality because I don’t but because there’s some fairly overt examples of sexual attraction between the two. Anyone who has seen it or will see it... Aziraphale in the Bastille. Enough said.) Anyway, the point is that there are fans whose interpretation differs from the others and, in a spirit of a state of being supportive of the freedom to be who you are which is really a major Good Omens theme anyway, the producers will simply say that it is a love story and that the two male-presenting leads love one another. Sound familiar?

It’s what Marvel is trying to do with TFATWS and SamBucky. The difference is the tone. Good Omens is a community full of positive LGBTQIA representation and love for all people and everyone involved with the writing of the novel and the production of the show really reflects that attitude. Marvel.... doesn’t have the best track record with this stuff. Granted, these are not comparable things. Good Omens is the ultimate in niche-y stuff-- it’s a long-running and large fanbase but compared to Marvel, it’d fill a thimble. Marvel is trying for a big tent approach to its movies and tv shows-- to have something for everyone eventually-- but the problem with this is that it doesn’t really give anyone much of anything that is well-defined... and that’s kind of their goal. They want you to be able to see what you see in things. It doesn’t mean that they aren’t actively trying to create things for you to see but it does mean that most of the stuff they make that is not a cishet relationship could have an entire romantic arc for characters-- and TFATWS does-- but it’s also going to leave open doors all over the place to try to attract the most viewers.

By that definition, TFATWS is shockingly gay. There are an enormous amount of tells built into the story to lead the viewer in that direction. Bucky didn’t want to go on the one date he went on with a woman and ran out of it in the middle, after talking about guy profiles on dating sites. Sam has been in 89 pieces of canon and other than a howyoudoin? at Black Widow that goes nowhere-- in front of another guy who was from the 1940s-- Sam hasn’t blinked at a woman. Neither of them get actual love interests in TFATWS but for one another. They spend the entire series proving themselves to themselves so they can prove themselves to one another. The list is endless.

No matter what they’re saying Bucky’s sexuality is or isn’t or what Sam and Bucky’s romance is or isn’t, they’re just dancing around things to try to keep from becoming “the gay Marvel show” in the media and keep viewership numbers up because, sadly, there are still too many people who won’t watch a show about hot, gay superheroes for some reason I do not understand...

So if you’re feeling a little faint of heart, just keep in mind that you can believe your own eyes and these two are in love, no matter what crazy verbal gymnastics the people who made this show for you are doing to try to pretend they didn’t just write you a six-hour long gay superhero Hallmark movie.

#sambucky #captain america #the falcon #the winter soldier #the white wolf #sam wilson #bucky barnes #tfatws #marvel #mcu

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inky-duchess · 3 years

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21 History Ancedotes for my 21st Birthday

So today I celebrate my 21st birthday and I have decided to gift you all with 21 of my favourite historical Ancedotes. Some are funny, some are sad and some are plain bizarre but I hope the make your day 💜

Mary Maloney, an Irish-born suffragette in England followed Winston Churchill around while he was campaigning for a seat in Parliament, drowning out everything he said with a very large bell and calls for him to apologise for his comments on women's rights and suffrage movements.

Clodius Pulcher was a well born Roman noble during the last day's of the Republic. He gave up his Patrician status to become Tribune of the Plebs (an office in which one had to be a Pleb) by being adopted by a much younger Plebian man who became his "father". Clodius was a bit of a riot, sneaking into religious festivals dressed like a woman to sleep with Caesar's wife, building a shrine to Liberty in the ruins of the Conservative Cicero, vetoed the last speech of one of the Consuls (who basically did nothing all year and was apparently going to roast Caesar) and burned down the Senate House with his funeral pyre (the Plebs who loved him literally tearing up the furniture to build his pyre). He was honestly the best fun.

When laying on her deathbed, Queen Caroline of Ansbach turned to her husband George II of England and told him he should marry again. George refused to ever wed again... But added he would have mistresses. Caroline said , likely with a roll of her eyes, "oh my god that doesn't matter."

Florence was a pretty cool city in the Renaissance until Savanorola came to town. He disliked the loose living artists that crowded the city, with their naked pagan gods and rampant homosexuality. He expelled them all with help of the French hoping to make Florence Holy Again. When the Borgia Pope excommunicated him and sentenced him to death, one man in the crowd was reported to have said. "thank God, niw we can return to sodomy." One Floretine man in the 1490s said Gay Rights.

So this list couldn't be complete without an entry of the only American politician I love, Alexander Hamilton who was just a walking entity of sass. I could go on about his sharp sarcasm or his disaster bi vibes with John Lauren's but my all time favourite Alexander Hamilton ancedote has to be this exchange with Thomas Jefferson "There are approximately 1010300 words in the English language, but I could never string enough words together to properly explain how much I want to hit you with a chair."

Caterina Sforza was an Italian noble woman during the Renaissance. She was apart of the powerful Sforza family, which drew many enemies to her. One fateful day at Forli, Caterina's children were snatched as hostages. The besiegers threatened to kill her children if she did not cede the castle. Caterina refused, lifting her skirts and shouted to the besiegers that she had the means to make more children.

Hannibal Lecter's creator Thomas Harris was happy to end his great character's story with the original trilogy. However his publishers forced him to write an unneeded prequel explaining why Hannibal became Hannibal. Thomas Harris agreed lest he lose the rights to his character so he wrote Hannibal Rising, where Hannibal as a young man hunts down the Nazis who ate his sister with a katana.

Nell Gwyn is my favourite mistress of Charles II, mainly because of her sass. Once while trapped in the middle of a riot where Londoners swamped her carriage thinking she was Charles's Catholic mistress. She popped her head out the carriage and told the people "Pray good people be civil. I am the Protestant whore." She also dosed her rival Moll Davis with laxatives in order to free up some of Charles's time and she once flashed her underwear at the French ambassador after asking him why the Franch King did not pay her to spy on Charles because she was with him every night. A true Queen.

Emperor Ai of the Han Dynasty of China once rose from his bed to go do some ruling when he realised his lover, Dong Xian was sleeping on his sleeve. Rather than disturb his lover, the Emperor cut his sleeve off at the wrist to leave Dong Xian nap. Nothing has ever been more romantic than that. Y'all could never.

Princess Margaret the sister of current Queen Elizabeth II was a socialable Princess and often tasked to visit the up and coming music stars of the day on behalf of the Crown. When meeting the Beatles one evening, she noticed George Harrison was acting a little odd. When she asked what was the matter, he replied "We arent allowed eat until you go." Princess Margaret laughed and promptly left so the Beatles could get some dinner.

During the Siege of Jadotsville, Irish soldiers under the flag of the UN were attacked and besieged by local insurgents allied with the Katanga Regime. The insurgents numbered thousands while the Irish only had 158 soldiers, all who were lightly armed. They radioed to their allies assuring them that "we will hold out until our last bullet is spent. Could use some whiskey though".

Napoleon was famous for writing raunchy letters to his wife, the Empress Josephine while he was away. She used to reply with really mundane letters or not at all. She really just could not be bothered with him.

Josip Broz Tito was so fed up with Joseph Stalin sending assassins to kill him, he wrote to Stalin personally to say "If you don't stop sending assassins to kill me. I will send one to Moscow and I won't have to send another." It didn't work but Big Dick Energy.

Successful Roman soldiers returning from war often got to march along in parades known as Triumphs. During this, it was customary for them to sing bawdy songs about their commander. One surviving one about Caesar goes like this "Romans, lock up your wives. Here comes the bald adulterous whore. We pissed away your gold in Gaul and come to borrow more."

Matilda, Lady of the English was a woman so badass that history cannot handle her. She was the daughter of Henry I who left his throne to her after the death of her brother. She was away in France when her father died and her throne was snatched by her cousin Stephen. They battled back and forth for years with neither side ceding any ground. Matilda was once besieged in a castle during a snow storm, with Stephen's men all around her. Instead of fighting her way out. She simply donned a white cloak and walked out of the castle. Just walked out without any of Stephen's men seeing her.

Pedro of Portugal once fell in love with a beautiful lady in waiting called Inez de Castro. For years, they lived as man and mistress, popping out a few kinds. Pedro's dad really did not like Inez and wanted Pedro to find a legitimate wife so he had her killed. Pedro returned home to find the mother of his children dead. Pedro went a little crazy. He had all his father's assassins killed, ripping out their hearts as they had done to him. When Pedro ascended the throne, he demanded the Pope legitimize his children by Inez. The Pope not wanting to upset the King, said he couldn't because Inez was never crowned Queen. Pedro dug Inez up and crowned her as Queen, having all the nobility swear loyalty to her corpse. The Pope had no choice but to agree to his request.

A famously clever general once saved an entire city with an ingenious stragety to sit outside the city waiting for the attacking army to come. The attack had come to fast for the city to ready themselves for a Siege so, the general had to move quickly. He evacuated the city and took his place waiting for the army to come. The enemy forces stopped and took one look at him and bolted, thinking he meant to lure them in one of his famous traps.

Michaelangelo was really badly treated by the Vatican when he was painting the Sistine Chapel. He constantly fought with the Popes over the design and his work, which he was paid peanuts for. Michaelangelo got his revenge in his work, painting the gates of Hell behind the Papal Throne and an angel flipping the ol' fig (the Renaissance version of the bird) toward the Pope's chair.

Peter the Great was not a perfect guy. He kept serfdom as a practise in his kingdom, he had his son tortured to death and he could be an unpleasant guy. But Peter was a dreamer. He wanted nothing more to build a fleet for Russia and bring Russia beyond its borders. Peter took a gap year from ruling Russia to wander around Europe. When he stopped in England, he was granted Leicester House to chill in while he did his shipwright studies. It was here that Peter found a new passion. The wheelbarrow. Cue Peter and his new found English buddies drinking in Leicester House, punching the artwork and rolling each other around in barrels across the house's Great gardens.

Diogenes is hands down a walking shit post. He was a great thinker in Greece during the reign of Alexander but a rather dry, sarcastic wit. He lived in a pithos/a jar because he shunned all vanities and values of society. He trolled other philosophers, attending their debates to heckle them and eat loud foods through them. When Alexander the Great came to fan boy over him, saying that if he were not Alexander he would like to be Diogenes to which Diogenes just said "yeah me too, now get out of my sunlight."

Cosimo de Medici was the son of a Floretine banker with a great knowledge and love of art. Cosimo wished for Florence to release its potentially and join the Renaissance. He hired Filippo Brunelleschi to finsh the Great Dome of Santa Maria del Fiore which had láin unfinished for over a century, a symbol of a failure of ambition. The builders had lost the knowledge of creating a dome so large so it remained unfinished. Despite much opposition from the other nobility and denouncers of the Renaissance, Cosimo's dream of the completion of the dome was completed, making it the largest brick dome in creation at that time. There is nothing like achieving your dreams and certainly nothing like leaving a lasting reminder that screams 'I was right and you were wrong' to stand for centuries.

#Instead of doing shots I decided to give you all a gift #History is our greatest gift #And it's filled with dick jokes and idiots #Anyway happy birthday to me #Go forth and enjoy this great gift #history dump #History Ancedotes #History bites: kinda?

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youwontlikethisblog · 3 years

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I Don't Believe He Desires Me Part 2

In my last post(I Don't Believe He Desires Me) I went into a more in depth understanding of Betty's traumatic relationship with Miguel and how that affected her and has molded her and here I will sort of continue that.

In this scene Betty is starting at her reflection while we hear her monologue. She said that while no one told her about how she had failed in her quest that Armando did and told her that he wanted the old Betty who he fell in love with.

Remember that Aura Maria advised Betty that if her boyfriend didn't show any initiative or mutual attraction that she should dump him because one he was gay or she really didn't inspire anything for him.

We hear Betty say "He[...] wants me to be the same one he fell in love with and that concerns me. Could it be that he feels beyond that admiration he says to have for me? what is his obsession[with me]? Could it be that he desires me? I know it would be asking too much. He has a lot of women like Ms. Marcela, the models, could it be that he feels any desire for me? According to Aura Maria if he loves me, if he's with me, he must also feel like he desires me. It's something natural for a couple that's attracted to each other, that love each other... but I don't feel that Don. Armando has that eagerness for me and it is impossible for me to figure it out. Don. Armando is my love but at the same time I can't help but to feel him distant as if he still doesn't belong to me at all and more now that we agreed to see each other more sporadically. This will be very difficult for me. Not only because I love him but also because I also desire him and I want to be by his side at all times. I want to caress him, kiss him[...] Aura Maria said that if the man doesn't make the initiative than one must do so but I feel incapable to explore, inquire, or search for him. I don't have any experience in that and I don't have the temperament or the audacity for me to do it."

By almost the ending of her monologue Betty and Armando are on their next date, days after their last one. In this date Betty stares at him mesmerized by him, she is more affectionate and kisses him more and then tells him she loves him.

In the last post I mentioned that Betty starts to test him. Aura Maria told her that in a normal relationship that attraction is normal, Betty wants a normal relationship. Aura Maria told her that if the man doesn't take initiative that one must do so, so Betty, in her own way, which is by admiring and kissing, takes the initiative and if Armando reciprocates it it means that they're a normal couple and that he does desire her because as Betty asked "Could it be that he feels beyond that admiration that he says to have for me?" She tests him on that. "What is his obsession[with me]?" again, she starts to test him with that. "Could it be that he desires me?" again, she tests him on that.

Now when I first saw this I felt second hand embarrassment. I wondered how was it possible that Betty wasn't picking up on his vibes? That she wasn't noticing that he wasn't reciprocating?

Now that I've broke down Armando and Betty's character(though I still have a lot of work with Betty) I can see why she didn't pick up on it. Betty is naïve when it comes to relationships. She is unaware of certain behavior and as she says, unexperienced. So she's not going to pick up on everything about him in that regard. She knows how to read his body language when it comes to knowing when to talk and when not to. She knows how to see that he's angry, upset, furious, ect. She knows how to read that from him but she doesn't know how to read his body language when it comes to more personal behavior which is why she was so confused at his advances the first time, even the second time.

However Armando has also never made it obvious to her. Though to the audience we see him roll his eyes, look disgusted, annoyed, and uncomfortable with physical contact with Betty, he never shows that to her. He reacts when she isn't starting or looking at him or his direction but when she is he plasters on a face of happiness and welcoming it. Armando does a really good job at manipulating her.

In this episode when he asks Betty why she continues to look at him like that and she says that she's contemplating him and he visibly looks uncomfortable Betty stops and leans away and looks down as she smiles timidly and tells him that she was being imprudent and shouldn't have been doing that Armando then tells her that he didn't want her to get all shy, he was simply asking and then asks her to get closer.

Again as an audience we see the clear signs but Betty doesn't and when she does see them Armando tells her otherwise.

We once more see then when he drops her off. He actually welcomes the good-bye kiss by initiating it and then Betty goes ham but when he pulls away Betty leans back with a hand over her mouth and apologizes to him for it and Armando tells her that it wasn't that. He tells her that they have to be careful because of Roman and Co. as well as the fact that her dad likes to take late night walks around the neighborhood. He tells her that he is crazy[about it] too.

It's important to understand this and why Betty behaves the way she does. When she's felt like she's forced herself onto him he always says she hasn't. The only time I'll say that through these two scene that Armando seemed honest was when he told Betty that he'd be counting the days and took off his glasses to kiss Betty, everything else again seemed very disingenuous.

Just like Armando is in denial and confused about his feeling towards Betty, Betty is confused about it all too. It worries her that he isn't serious about them, she is acting like someone who has had her heart broken as she tries to not get too attached though she says she can't help it because sometimes she looses control over her emotions but she still persists in being cautious when it comes to getting her hopes high.

When she enters her house and her parents celebrate her her mom asks her if Armando congratulated her on her birthday or anything and Betty tells her that he didn't even know it was her birthday.

Her mom goes on to ask how it was possible for him[Armando] to not be remember the birthday of his assistant? Betty tries to justify but once her dad leaves her mom asks if she would have liked for him to at least remember it and Betty says that she would have.

Betty still feels that she isn't all that important to Armando and she still feels like at any moment things could end so while she does test him and tries to figure out how serious he is about her in her own way, she doesn't get her hopes high, however Armando continues to feed her the right amount of affection to at least keep her entertained.

It's so satisfying to see the small burn romance coming from Betty. Though we think that Betty is moving on too fast, too soon, and full force it actually plays as someone who is insecure and comes off strong HOWEVER is still someone who is jaded because she in her own ways is being careful and protecting her heart. We haven't see her really invite Armando into her privet and personal life. So far she's only shared little glimpses of it. He knows so little about her. She is safeguarding her heart and she is behaving according to someone who has been betrayed in the past and hurt deeply by it.

The part when she says she loves him is written perfectly because we see that she is being controlled by her emotions only but when Betty is in control of them she doesn't behave this way. Her behavior is interesting on it's own and she's just as much of a fascinating character as Armando, Marcela, or Mario. While she isn't this crude and bitter person she is still someone who behaves like a person who is more than just their looks, who is more than just what has happened to her but she still behaves like someone who has faced so much trails and abuse from people and society for simply existing and for that reason she is a complex character and her actions are not solely based on one thing but many because she is more than just her looks.

#betty pinzón solano #beatriz pinzon solano #beatriz pinzón solano #betty #betty ysblf #betty la fea #yo soy betty la fea #don armando #armando mendoza #armando ysblf

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aesthbaby · 3 years

Text

Ghost

Summary: Do you remember the episode Demonology where we learned of Emily’s past? What if I told you, you were apart of it. After years of silence on her end, you end up meeting her again.

Pairing: Emily Prentiss x Fem!Reader

Prompt: here

Warnings: Cursing | Sadness | Typos

Word Count:

Masterlist

An: Dedicated to my hundredth follower. Ahhhh I'm too hype about this! I also made a slight change to the prompt but everything else is the same :) Anon, I hope you enjoy.

Indignation

The screaming crawls up the walls of her oversized, child hood home to shake her ear drums. The thunder only adds fuel to the fire that is the rage possessed by both Prentiss’ as they continue their screaming match.

“Don’t you dare walk away when I’m talking to you!” Elizabeth’s voice matches the rain. The way she stomps behind her daughter looks almost comical.

“Back off mother.” She mumbles this more to herself than her mother.

She stops walking, planting her feet firmly on the Brazilian Chestnut flooring. “I will not ask you again.” She comes to a stop, takes a breath, and slowly turns to her mother. Not meeting her eyes, of course, because it’d hurt too much to see the hate in her eyes. “Look at me.” The mother growls. She slowly moves to meet her mothers eyes and finds nothing but rage there; energy matched to the thunder and rain outside. “You will not see that-” The derogatory term gets caught up in her throat.

Taking a step towards the elder, “What?” Daring to ask the question to which she already knows the answer. “What do you want to say mother?” Her jaw tightens, a sign that Emily knows all too well. “Spit it out.” Its taking everything in her not to raise her voice again and spew the word out for her mother.

Elizabeth takes a breath of her own before replying. “You are not to see that girl again or so help me, I will make sure she goes back to where she came from.” Before Emily could object, she speaks again. “That is final Emily.” Her voice holds strong, and suddenly the storm ceases its assault.

All is quiet in the Prentiss house yet the tension remains; so thick that you could cut it with a knife.

Disregard

The next morning you arrive to school earlier than usual, but for good reason. Some random college hoodie wrapped loosely around your torso and a dainty neck tucked under it. Your school uniform has never fit you quite right because of how late in the year you transferred, you know...left overs. Phone is going absolutely crazy in your shirt pocket but now isn't the time, you’re looking for somebody. You’re looking for her. Mr. Ricci’s voice can be heard on your left, telling a group of guys its time for class. Emily...where the hell are you?

As the day progresses you still see no sign of the brunette until now. “Emily!” Running up to her you deliver a swift punch to her shoulder. “Where the hell have you been?” When her eyes meet yours they puffy, like she’s been crying. “Em- I-”

“First of all, ouch. Secondly, I can’t right now.” She turns to walk off with her lunch in hand, but you quickly pull her back by her elbow.

“You ‘can’t’ right now? What the hell is wrong with you?” Its taking everything in you not to become overtly emotional. “And where have you been?”

“Y/n I’m sorry but I really can’t right now.” She pulls away from your grip. Leaving you more confused than before.

You scuff at her wording. “You never calls me by my first name...” Its always been her thing, starting with a joke about how she has another friend by the same name as you so she had to call you something else. The next day was the same, avoiding you at all costs.

But it didn’t stop there.

It felt as though you were left on a physical manifestation of ‘read.’ Her name with the red heart emoji attached, did not pop up on your phone for what seemed to be months but in reality it had only been a few weeks. If she were to simply pick up the phone you would have been able to tell her about your unforeseen departure time. Due to sudden changes in international studies, you had to leave and the academy needed their student back. The one of which you exchange places with in January. Tears spring to your eyes at the thought of leaving. Not only are you leaving her, but also leaving this city you got to call home.

Sunny days always seem to appear at the wrong time, your departure day. She’s not here to see you off, hasn’t been around for a while. Can you really blame her? She doesn’t even know you’re leaving because she wont pick up the fucking phone. It doesn’t matter anymore, your time is up and so is her’s. A line of black and white kittens sprint across the cobblestone streets and that right there is what makes you break down in tears. Seeing the delicate kittens run after a mouse while tripping over their own feet. Random yellow flowers peaking through the stone which you’ve never known the actual name of. That one girl in Chem that would bake cookies for the class on Fridays. Your host dad taking you to his favorite café that served an increasing number of Cuban smokers. Going to eat gelato after homeroom with that one guy who would always make Golden Girls references. Then there was Emily, the girl that gave you a dainty gold necklace for valentines day. The girl that got a random jock to stop harassing you. The person whose lap you’d lay in on Saturday mornings at the park, is the same person who randomly started to ignore you. Maybe you could have fixed things with her if you had more time. You were supposed to have until June but suddenly everything shifted and all you were told is that you needed to come home, promptly. You couldn’t wait for her any longer, not even sure why you thought she’d come in the first place. Casting one last glance over your shoulder before stepping into the buzzing airport.

At least meet me half way.

Hereafter

"I don’t think so.” You laugh at your friend’s proposition to set you up on a blind date. “I am absolutely content with the way I choose to live my life.” Shifting a bit on the new couch that hasn’t been broken in, resulting in the stiff cushions.

He lets out this weird scuffing noise. “No you’re not. Remember last weekend when we tried to pull an all-nighter but your sleep deprived brain betrayed you?” At your nonchalant shrug, he continues. “You started rambling about just wanting to find some well educated, fun loving, female in this world full of bureaucratic straight men. Your words, not mine.” You throw a pillow at him but he swiftly doges it. “But you couldn’t have said it better.” These recent years have been a series of unfortunate dates that have ended in you lying about having to leave early for something.

“Don’t you have a girlfriend you should be getting home to?”

“Not tonight, I’m all yours. Apparently she has her knitting circle tonight.”

“That's what you get for dating an older woman.”

“Its a five year age difference! What is wrong with you people?”

You hold your hands up in defense. “Nothing, as long as you’re both legal and she’s good to you, its fine by me.”

“Shut up!” He screeches. “Oh shit, don’t you have a meeting in the morning?”

“Yes sir.” He stands to take your glasses and plates in the kitchen but you object. “Leave it,” At his confused expression, you continue. “Cleaning helps me relax so I figured I’ll wake up early so I can do that and reduce my stress levels by at least ten percent.”

“Dude, you’re seriously weird.”

“Say another bad thing about me and I'm sending you home.”

Throwing him a few pillows from the hallway closet and a comforter just for him to scream, “Its too hot in this cottage core apartment!”

Its not even cottage core themed?? Its just cozy with a plant or two. Am I expected to live in an ice cold home? I feel like he’s just saying this because I’m gay.

Your prepared outfit hands on the back of your bedroom door, mocking you. Making you reconsider the entire thing and simply not go but it feels as though you’d regret it if you didn’t. Maybe not, who knows?

And with that as your final though, you drift off to sleep.

You wake at the amazing time of 6 A.M to see your guest gone with a note on the couch:

I cleaned up the mess from last night and I also did the dishes in your sink. Not sure how u slept through all of that...I made a fruit salad for ur breakfast and a normal one for lunch.

Good luck with your meeting!

And one of those old fashioned emoticons at the bottom corner. Idiot.

You eat the food he left from the fridge, brush your teeth with the news playing in the background, and continue on with the normal morning routine.

Gathering your lunch and the little items you feel like you’d need, phone, charger, paper work, and keys; you know, the works. Finally heading out to your destination with nothing but ambition, you run into a slight problem.

Overlapping breakfast with an old friend of yours. “Hey, babe, I am so sorr-”

“Absolutely not, I don’t want to hear your excuses.” The positive voice rings through the phone like velvet sheets after a cold shower. “You missed our reservation!” Have to admit hearing them whine is pretty entertaining. “You had one job. One!” You guys met some years ago over some random online forum, arguing over some random movie. You don’t talk as much as you’d like but breakfast is always on the menu--mostly in February.

“Quick question, am I allowed to apologize?”

There’s a beat of silence on the other end, “Yes you may, but only in fruit baskets and coffee.”

“I got you, next time though. I’m on my way to something right now.”

“Something...” In comes the teasing undertone. “Does this ‘something’ have a name?”

Bursting into a fit of laughter at what is implied and replying, “Definitely not, its a work thing.”

“Speaking of work, I have to go. Ciao!”

Just in time to end the call, you pull into the designated parking deck from the email. Going through all of the security procedures was hell but blatantly necessary; the rest was gravy. Floating through the rest of the building gave you a slightly stressful feel because of all the men walking around with perfect suits and casting no glances your direction. When the glass doors labeled BAU appear, you take a deep breath and walk in with confidence. Taking in the buzzing sound of agents at work all around you. Agent Hotcher’s office is glaringly obvious: higher up than the rest, perfect overview of the hive, and in direct eye sight of the entryway doors.

Delivering a swift knock to the office door you hear a faint invitation from the inside. Walking in with a smile and straight back you are greeted with a man in a dark navy blue suit and a stoic look to attached to him. It first starts with the small talk of your experience, early life, skill sets, and what not.

“Agent Hotchner, might I speak out of line for a moment.” He gives you a skeptical look before nodding. “I understand the nature of this meeting but I am not completely sure why it was conducted.” His furrowed brown is not a good sign, making you correct your structure a bit. “Right, well,” God his stare is fucking intense. “What I mean to ask is, why am I here?”

That was bold.

“Agent, are you not aware that this is a Career Analysis Assessment?” As it slowly sinks in an O-shape forms with your mouth. Now you feel like a complete idiot in front of this prestigious, tight suited, man. “You were unaware? Its fine if you were,” You let out a sigh at the confirmation. “I have a tendency to write my emails with an excessive amount of four syllable words so one could see where the confusion originated.” You let out a nervous laugh at the realization that this is basically a job interview.

“I see that you’ve spent time studying abroad.” Indicated by the recommendations from your Italian Psychology teacher. “Why not join the CIA?”

“Dare I say, they make me nervous?” He cracks a small, very subtle, smile at the admission.

“What made you want to leave Human Resources?”

“I got tired of analyzing decisions with nothing but dead bodies and messy crimes and having my primal focus be the agents and not the victims or perpetrators. Using what I’ve learned as material for agents in training when I could have prevented it from happening.”

“Well said, but I need to be completely transparent with you.” This can’t be good. “I will admit that I have serious reservations about adding a Human Resources officer to my team.”

Shit let me stop him before this spirals. He thinks I’m a spy. “Sir, with all do respect, I have no intentions of being a bureaucratic spy. I’d also like to point out that I wasn’t that high on the HR totem pole to the point where I had an explicit say on what happens to agents, who is hire, fired, or how they’re trained. I analyzed and compromised while expressing my findings to an unbiased extent. If I wanted to be a spy I would have joined the CIA.” Besides, Head Quarter’s is the one that does all of that internal investigation stuff, not HR.

He doesn’t say anything or make any sudden movements for a good minute. I fucked up. That spy line was too far. “I’d like to offer you a position on this team, so long as you can start immediately.”

“Yes, of course I can! I don’t have much office supplies besides a pen or two and-”

“Its fine,” He stands from his seat and straightens the dark blazer. “I’ll have one of my agents show you around.”

From across the bullpen you spot a familiar blonde. “Oh my god!” The file in her hand falls to the floor. “Its you!” She practically squeals.

“Penelope, I didn’t know you work here.” You give your old friend a tight, unapologetic hug. She said she worked as a tech analysis but you always assumed it was for an activism group or a tech firm, not the FBI out of all things. Despite having such interesting jobs, you never talk about work with each other. She knows you work for the government but not which. Although knowing how good she is at uncovering people’s secrets, there’s a good chance she already knew you work for the FBI too.

“What are you doing here? Like physically here. I thought you were in Florida.”

“I have to get back, can you take care of Agent Y/L/N for me?” Hotchner says before rushing off without an answer.

And there she goes with the snooping. “Actually, I left the Florida office and went to California.”

“Oh.” Her face twists a bit. “And now you’re here?”

“I thought you were the woman behind the curtains, the all knowing.”

“And wonderful!” She points with her perfectly painted finger.

In comes a slim man with a messenger back, making a click in your mind. “Now where have I seen him before...” Turning slightly to follow his trail.

“That’s our resident genius Dr. Spencer Reid.”

Unbelievable. “He’s twelve.” The young agent’s head snaps toward you and Penelope, “Does he have super human hearing too?” She introduces you to the Doctor who is, as expected, socially awkward in many ways. A man named David Rossi of whom you’ve met at least once during a few Bureau seminars; last you heard he had rejoined the BAU after retirement. Jennifer Jareau is gorgeous with a nurturing nature about her, she immediately recognizes your name from exchanged paperwork but that’s about it. The introductions are brief, everyone seems to be busy with their own things. “Penelope your team is kind of small.” You quietly mention to her.

“Oh!” Guess the realization that two people are missing, finally clicks in her head. She starts walking in the direction of a staircase so you automatically follow her. “This is Derek Morgan.” Standing in front of a round table is a tall man with a really toned body. “Derek, this is Agent Y/n L/n from Human Resources.” His eyebrow arches up in suspicion.

“Oh no I’m not here for anything bad, I’ve actual been transferred into the BAU. Working behind a desk and watching as others do the work I can’t, wasn’t working out for me.” Definitely won’t trust me until I save his life or something. “I’ve heard of you, one of the Academy trainers has shown a few videos of you.” He smirks at the implied compliment and finally holds his hand out for you to shake.

“Where’s...” Pen trails while looking around.

“Oh she’s getting coffee.” The darker man points behind himself.

“Who’s getting coffee?”

Reconciliation

Maybe we wouldn’t be so short handed if they sprung for better coffee. Emily thought to herself while stirring the flavorless, dark liquid. What if they attach a coffee shop to the building? Imagine how much money the shop would make off of overworked agents. But then I feel like we’d start developing a true addiction to this stuff. Her thoughts are interrupted by the approach of foot steps. She meets Derek’s figure and smiles at the resident goofball of the BAU. Followed by Penelope’s pink centralized outfit with feathers. Then there’s you, just as beautiful as the last time you saw each other. If not more. Your hair shines amongst the florescent lights, paired with the perfectly tailored outfit and jewelry. The same eyes that would brighten her day as they met. An almost unnoticeable bounce in you walk, same as it were years ago. As you step towards her there is a flash of gold on your wrist that sends a ping to Emily’s heart, its the necklace I gave you in high school.

Intersect

You would have know about Emily’s transfer here from a few years ago, had her paperwork gone through the HR department but apparently it went straight to the top because this is definitely a surprise. Once you realize its actually her you stop dead in your tracks. Can’t be.

“Y/n,” She stutters out your name in disbelief. “What are you doing here?”

“Emily, I work here.” Ripping the band-aid off like this is an every day encounter; seeing your unofficial ex who you were never actually with in the first place but had the same characteristics as a high school couple. Yeah...that.

She also blurted out a ‘no you don’t’ before Garcia interrupted. “How do you two know each other?”

You both snapped your heads to her simultaneously. “We don’t.” Also said that part at the same time.

“Right.” She drags. “I’m sensing some unresolved tension...”

“What are-” Em tries to object.

“So we’re going to go.” The tech analysis grabs the sleeve of the darker man and practically sprints off in the opposite direction. Morgan having a dumbfounded look on his face.

It feels like you’re at a stalemate, who will make the first move. What will the emotions be? Are they going to fly? Because I’d like to throw a few verbal punches her way. Who does that to someone? I thought I was over it but clearly the wound is still open. Great now watch her blame me for X, Y, and Z,

“I’ve missed you.” She barely whispers, sounding a bit broken yet insincere. Its like she’s detaching herself from the narrative. So unexpected that you almost think you’re imagining this. Why would she say that? This is not the Emily you remember.

Anger bubbles up in your throat ready to unleash upon her entirety. Instead of bursting into flames right on the spot, in the middle of your new place of employment you take a deep breath. Words of disbelief dance on your lips before speaking. “You did not.” She tilts her head like a curious puppy. Who am I even talking to?

“What do you mean?” And just like that she’s whisked away by a guy in a suit of whom you do not recognize. Your jaw clinches in a desperate attempt to keep your cool, wondering what the hell is going on.

Realization

Besides the surprise of seeing Emily, your first day went great. Everyone kept checking up on you and you couldn’t tell if it was because they were trying to be friendly, excited to have a new teammate, or nervous of your background. “She used to work for the FBI Human Resources Branch.” You heard the skinny one tell Morgan when they thought you weren’t listening.

JJ and Penelope invited you out for drinks but all you really wanted to do was lay in your bed with a face mask and a bag of chips. Waving a farewell to the blonde women and head to your car, but a few feet away you feel a presence. You quickly loop around in search of the energy with your hand on the top of your gun. “Woah woah.” Emily holds her hands up in surrender.

At the realization of who it is you take a breath and clip your gun back in place. You give her a “what the hell look” before straightening your outfit.

“Were you going to shoot me?”

She’s met with wide eyes from your end. “Maybe?! Who sneaks up on someone with a gun?”

“I didn’t ‘sneak’ up on you.”

“Emily, you wear all black and walk like a feather. What were you expecting?” The buried anger is starting showing through.

“Okay,” She does a weird hand movement that kind of looks like she’s trying to calm you down. “I’m sorry. I just thought we could talk.”

“Talk...” You’re not really following.

“Yes, I’d like to talk.”

“Emily what are you asking? I’m lost.”

She take a moment to figure it out before answering. “For a second chance, I’m asking for another shot.”

You uncross your arms at the admission, letting them lazily fall beside you. “Em- I-” She can’t be asking what I think she is. “Its been years. More than a decade has passed since-” The words suddenly die on your lips

“I know,” And it looks like there’s a slight glimmer in her eyes, implying the presence of suppressed tears. “I’d just like to explain.”

“Explain?” You bite, tasting the bitter flavor of annoyance.

“Yes, I at least owe you that.”

And that’s how you ended up here, with her. In a cozy, minimalistic loft at nine in the afternoon with a coffee table separating the two of you.

“I’m sorry.” Was the first thing to break the silence, and this time it actually sounded sincere. “If I could have explained everything to you back then, I would have.”

You lean forward, closer to her and push the rather large vase off to the side so she has to be vulnerable with you. Nothing to help her hide from herself. At her confused face you lean back in your seat and nod for her to continue.

“My mother was always a difficult woman and although she has gotten better over the years, things were at their worst when she found out how much time I had been spending with you.” The brunette takes a minute before admitting the next part. “She was responsible for your early departure. I tried to stop her, give you more time but she’s relentless.” She waits for your reaction but when met with nothing, she continues. “She threatened me by putting our connection on the line, which in retrospect I now realize was impossible to save. She had already made calls to get you out of the country by the time I could sever what we had. I never wanted to hurt you or end what we shared.”

“And what did we share, Emily?”

Her tongue darts from between her lips, doing that weird little biting thing she’s always done since we’ve known each other. It sparks something in you that you haven't felt in a while. “I think you know. The fact that you still wear the necklace I gave you, bracelet, means you never really forgot.”

“I liked it where I could see it, but Em you could have called, texted even.”

“I couldn’t I was scared. Then after you left I started to distance myself from everyone and everything was really going downhill.”

“How so?”

“I got mixed up with peer pressure and boys.” This doesn’t sound good. “At one point I did anything I could to fit in.”

“What does that mean?” There’s a moment when a tear wells up on one of her eyes, but not dropping. “You don’t have to tell me if you don’t want to.”

“I-” She tries to speak but nothing comes out. “I couldn’t tell my mother and the church wasn’t happy with my actions.” It suddenly dawns on you, like a smack in the face. You want to make her stop and just hold her but this needs to come out. “I couldn’t call you because it would hurt too much. I hated myself at that moment more than I ever have.”

“And you haven’t dated since?”

She sniffles and lets out a little laugh at that. “God no, I’ve dated people but I haven't dated another female since. It felt wrong, like I was replacing you or something.”

“You owe me nothing. You were just trying to protect me and I see that now.”

“I knew better, its been so long and when I heard you joined the academy I-”

“Wait, you knew and didn’t say anything?”

“Y/n I couldn’t bring myself to do anything other that attempt to move on.” Silence fills the room and its not the comforting kind. Its the tense, I need to do something, kind.

“Do you feel anything?” You dare to ask.

“What do you mean?”

“You know what I mean. Were your feelings lost in transit?”

“They froze the day you left, and thawed the day I saw you again. Today.”

“So its not over.”

She appears to contemplate your statement. “No, its not over. We have a chance to start over.”

What now?

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the-gay-prometheus · 3 years

Text

Frankenstein AU Segment - “Willful Disobedience”

Clervalstein yearning goes brrrrrrr

Anyways- uh... so as I said at the beginning of pride month, my goal for June is to write at least one directly Clervalstein related AU segment each week because gay.

This time around, I was inspired to write about the events that led to how Henry would eventually find Victor and the Creature on the mountain, so in terms of timeline, this takes place before all segments I’ve written except for “Home Again” and “Same Scars, Same Stitches.”

A couple of fun little tidbits about the making of this segment (feel free to skip over them and get right to the segment below the cut, this is just me rambling about some inspiration):

1. The whole bit with Victor drawing and the Creature mimicking him by drawing as well was somewhat inspired by the “Forbidden Friendship” scene from How to Train Your Dragon. I listened to that specific track from the movie score a few times while I was in the process of thinking about this idea!

2. Another bit of musical inspiration actually came from the Chronicles of Narnia, specifically the track “Evacuating London” from The Lion, The Witch, and The Wardrobe. If you time it just right and you’re somebody who can actively read and listen to music at the same time, it should somewhat line up with the last few paragraphs (excluding Henry’s bit at the end) - starting at where Victor says “I’d give anything-”, then with the little piano part being timed with the paragraph that starts with “It was intricately detailed-”, then the major swell in that half of the song should line up with the paragraph where the Creature begins feeling the need to disobey Victor’s most important rules; then comes the part that begins with a bit of bells and eventually vocalization, and that entire half of the track should align with the Creature carrying out his plan at least most of the way. Of course - all of this depends on your reading speed, but I would definitely recommend listening to the song after reading at least and imagining those parts of the segment along with it if you’re interested in a little peek into my crazy writing process! 😅

Anyways- this is another wholesome segment, so no warnings needed to my knowledge!

As always, all likes, reblogs, and comments of any kind are welcomed, encouraged, and appreciated!

~~~

Sunlight warmed the cold stone of the mountain ridge upon which Victor sat. His sleeves were rolled up on his arms, as the heat from the summer sun was felt much more intensely up on the mountain top despite the cool alpine breeze. Heavy clouds capped the peaks beyond though the sky was primarily a clear blue, and mist drifted through the valleys below. Though the view was magnificent, the sketchbook that sat on Victor’s knee contained no trace of the mountains. His eyes darted from the open page to the horizon, but it wasn’t the horizon he was searching for. As he stared over the peaks beyond, it wasn’t the view itself he focussed on, and instead an image that was clear in his mind. With a slight smile at the thought, he turned his gaze back down to the page and continued his sketching. It wasn’t long before the smile faded as the sound of quiet, careful footfalls upon the stone broke the calm silence, and he became aware of a presence directly beside him. He instinctively scooted himself about a half inch away as the other figure slowly sat at his side, his brow furrowed as he tried to concentrate harder on his sketching. “What are you doing?” came the inquisitive voice of his creation, and he felt the looming figure lean over in an attempt to view what he was drawing. With a further frown, Victor covered over his sketch with his other hand and turned away.

“Last I checked, that was none of your business,” he grumbled in reply. The creature tried to get a better look, but Victor’s hand covered over too much of it for him to be able to see. He sat there for a moment longer, his mind wandering and his gaze flitting about from view to view as he tried to decide what it was he should do. Now that the cabin was finally completed, he found himself with a lack of activities to keep him busy, and though his creator was certainly better company now than he had been when he first arrived to the mountain, he still wasn’t much of a conversationalist and was often preoccupied with his own thoughts or projects. Out of ideas, he hummed something softly to himself, some tune he had once heard Victor singing one day many weeks ago. Victor lifted his eyes at the sound and glanced over at him, but the moment the creature returned his gaze, he rolled his eyes and shook his head, turning back to his sketching. Quieting himself at his creator’s reaction, the creature sighed and stood, walking back toward the cabin. Victor almost felt bad - almost - but he kept drawing, now absentmindedly humming the same tune. After a few minutes, he became distracted by the sound of footsteps once again, but this time the creature sat a ways away from him. He went quiet, trying to ignore his creation and keep his focus, but he heard the scratching of another pen on paper, then a pause, then more scratching, and he felt himself being watched. With an exasperated sigh, Victor dropped his pen beside him and looked over to the creature. “What on earth are you doing?” The creature looked up at him, his expression blank.

“Last I checked, that was none of your business,” he answered matter-of-factly. Victor stared at him a moment, then frowned.

“Back talking me? That’s new.” The creature blinked, but didn’t answer, instead turning back down to the piece of paper that lay on his knee and continuing to draw something on it. Now thoroughly curious, Victor stood, walking over to him and standing behind him to look over his shoulder. The creature made no efforts to hide his drawing, and Victor could clearly see the rough beginnings of a person sitting in the exact same pose he had been sitting in. “Are you… drawing me drawing Henry?”

“Ah, so you were drawing someone named Henry.” Victor blushed furiously.

“Oh you sly bastard,” he muttered. The creature glanced up at him. “How clever of you, to get an answer out of me like that.”

“That was not my intention, but I cannot say I am disappointed by the result,” the creature responded simply. Victor sighed, sitting down beside him before flopping dramatically onto his back. Now trying to think based on memory, the creature gazed off into the distance before looking down at his paper and continuing to draw. “May I ask who this Henry person is?” he asked as he drew. “I hear you speak the name often. He must be of great importance to you.” Victor wanted to be angry. He wanted to tell his creation to mind his own business and stop prying into his personal life, and yet… he couldn’t be angry - not while Henry was the topic of the conversation, anyway.

“Henry is… was my…” He paused, carefully thinking about how to choose his words, “closest friend.” There was a length of silence as he felt an ache in his chest from the thought of Henry, and the creature took a moment away from his drawing before returning to it.

“Tell me about him,” he suggested as he sketched. Victor sucked in a deep breath and exhaled slowly, holding his sketch of Henry over his heart as he stared into the sky.

“Where to even begin with him,” Victor uttered quietly.

“Describe him to me.” Victor lifted his sketch up and stared at it, before holding it out to the creature. The creature glanced up, and looked at it with a curious expression. Victor gave him a curt nod, signaling that he was welcome to inspect it closer, so he gently took it from Victor’s hand and inspected it closely.

“He’s tall, but not too tall - just tall enough that I have to look up in order to look into his eyes. And he’s always well dressed - I don’t think there’s ever been a day when he wasn’t looking his best, though I suppose I might be a bit biased on that.” For a moment he wondered just how much further he should go with his description. How could he describe someone like Henry without giving his true feelings away? He hesitated, then sighed with a smile. His creation already knew one of his secrets, and, after all, it wasn’t like he was going anywhere or seeing anyone else, so what harm was there in completely venting his thoughts? “He has the most thoughtful hazel eyes, toffee brown around the edges and streaked with emerald green that deepens toward the pupils, the kind of eyes you could get lost in if you stared for too long.” The creature’s pen went still and he looked up toward the horizon, trying to imagine what Victor was describing. “And his hair is long - not quite so long as yours, but ends just past his shoulders - and lays in tangled waves always kept tied back, though a few strands never fail to set themselves free. When the sun hits it just right, I could swear it was made of fire,” Victor breathed as he pictured it in his mind. “It’s the kind of brilliant auburn that takes your breath away, that seems to gleam with its own radiant light. Sometimes I swear he’s more angel than man, and perhaps if angels do exist, he may well be one of them.” The creature smiled, but the smile soon faded as his mind drifted to Paradise Lost and further to his past. He blinked the thought away, then turned his eyes back down to his art, setting Victor’s drawing of Henry down at his side. “He’s covered with what must be thousands of freckles, mostly concentrated on his cheeks but they expand over his face and at the very least his arms, chest, and back. I would liken them to… dark stars against a bright sky,” Victor explained. He raised an arm up and began tracing lines in the air as he continued. “I used to try to find constellations among them, and sometimes I thought I nearly could. Orion, Andromeda, Lepus, Lynx, Pegasus, Phoenix, Vulpecula,” he muttered each constellation as he imagined himself tracing the lines between freckles on Henry’s skin, his chocolate brown eyes seeming to light up with wonder as he grew to be lost in his own imagination.

“He barely sounds real,” the creature interjected nonchalantly, hardly looking up from his drawing as he began to focus closer on it. Victor grinned and chuckled softly.

“I tell myself that every day,” he murmured with a hint of sarcasm. “Surely no man could ever be so perfect, and yet there he is-” He paused, reaching higher toward the sky and extending his fingers to feel the breeze between them, “as real as you and I.” His hand dropped back down to his chest as he heaved a sigh. “There’s no man on earth as generous or as compassionate as my-” He stopped himself, blushing hard as he realized what it was he was about to say. “As Henry, I mean. Just… just Henry.” The scratching of the creature’s pen stopped again, and Victor glanced over at him to see him staring ahead in clear contemplation of the implications of his words before returning to his art. “You know,” Victor began, returning his eyes to the sky. “I can just about guarantee that if it were Henry who made you instead of me, you would have turned out ok.” The weight of his words hadn’t set in before he said them, but now that they were out, they sat heavy on his chest like lead. It took him a moment, but he sucked in a ragged breath and exhaled unsteadily. “If it were him instead of me, William would still be alive.” At those words, the creature froze, as rather than a weight to him they felt like a dagger slowly piercing between his ribs and etching each letter directly onto his beating heart. “And to think… Even if it wasn’t him who made you, if it were him who found you here, perhaps your night terrors would have all but ceased by now. And maybe, by his grace, you would be at peace.” They sat in contemplative silence, both somehow altogether calmed and unnerved in each other's presence. “I’d give just about anything for him to be here,” Victor mentioned, breaking the silence and lifting himself up onto his hands. “And I know all it would take is one letter. He’d drop everything to come here. But that’s… that’s just it. That’s the problem.” He sighed, fully sitting upright. The creature glanced over at him. “I can’t let him just… ruin the rest of his life for me. I don’t know how I could live with myself knowing that I held him back because of my own mistakes.” His eyes dropped to his other side. “And yet… I barely know how I can live with myself without him here.” It was at that moment that he felt something being laid gently on his lap, and when he looked down, he saw the drawing the creature had been working on.

It was intricately detailed, each line placed carefully onto the page with such precision. Though it was only simple line art, Victor could clearly see the image of himself sketching from earlier on the page, but standing in front of him was another figure - Henry. He was exactly as Victor described him, tall and well dressed, with long hair tied back and a few strands that drifted over his face. Though there was no color, his eyes seemed just as gentle and full of wonder as Victor remembered them to be as he stared off to some distant land. His face was covered in tiny dots, freckles, each so meticulously pricked on that Victor could clearly trace some of the constellations he described between them. Tears welled in his eyes as he placed his fingers gently on the drawn image, running them gently down the drawing’s cheek, wishing instead of cool paper that it was the soft, warm touch of Henry’s face. “Did I do him justice?” the creature inquired quietly, trying to read his teary expression. Victor sniffled and smiled.

“You… you’re quite the artist,” he managed to answer. Gingerly, he folded the paper and slipped it into his pocket, slowly rising to his feet. “I’ll… I’ll be back later. I need to take a walk and… clear my head,” Victor mentioned, wiping the tears away from his eyes. “Will you be ok on your own?” The creature didn’t answer for a moment, his yellow eyes staring into the distance as he thought deeply, but soon he snapped his attention back to the present.

“Yes, of course. Take your time, Victor.” Victor sighed and nodded.

“I’ll try not to be too late to return.” His creation watched as he wandered off and eventually disappeared into the trees, before returning to his thoughts. It was strange - in all the months that he had been there, the creature had never once considered disobeying Victor, especially out of the fear that he might abandon him again. Suddenly, however, he felt the strong need to disobey each and every one of Victor’s most important rules. He hated to see his creator so struck with longing, but even more so, he considered the positive ramifications of what his carefully formulated plan might bring. Sure, Victor might be initially upset, but with how much he desperately wanted this Henry person to be there with him, surely it would be well worth it in the end.

The first part of his plan was simple. He would need to break Victor’s trust, and search through his personal belongings. He made his way back to the cabin and slipped into Victor’s room to find a mess of folded papers lying on the bed stand - each paper being a letter he had received from a Henry Clerval. Though all he was searching for was an address, the creature couldn’t help himself and decided to read through some of the letters. As he did, he became even more certain about his decision. Not only was this man exactly as Victor had described, but the connection between them was clearly something so strong that it should have been unbreakable. To his luck as well, the creature managed to find amongst the scattered papers a letter Victor had intended to send as a reply to Henry but never had the chance to send, dated from a time before his creation.

The second part of his plan would be the most time consuming, but also the most critical, and this unsent letter would prove to be the perfect resource. Retrieving his pen and a small stack of paper Victor had stashed away, he began crafting a letter of his own. With as much precision as he could muster, he forged Victor’s handwriting and did his best to copy his style and choice of language. A few hours were spent on this, most of that time spent on crafting one single sentence until he was sure it was perfect before finally continuing on with the rest of the letter. After he completed it, he spent a few more minutes checking it once, then once more to ensure it was in fact as accurate as he could make it, before then spending a little more time practicing forging Victor’s signature and finally signing the note in his creator’s name.

Finally came the most dangerous part. With only his own memory of his travels from Ingolstadt to guide him, he would need to find and deliver the letter to someone who would be able to ensure that it reached Henry safely. Of all Victor’s rules, perhaps his greatest was that the creature was to never descend the mountain, and above all, was never to enter civilization or interact with any other human beings. Each of these would need to be broken in order for his plan to succeed. For a moment, he hesitated. Would Victor become so cross with him over this that he would abandon him once again? Where would he go if he did? What would he do? Who could he turn to? Still, it cut him sharp to think that he might be squandering this small chance to bring his creator some joy after all his sorrow if he were to abandon his plan now. His mind was made - no matter what the outcome would be, he was going to ensure this letter was delivered, and hope that Henry would arrive some day soon just as Victor said he would.

He would need to be swift in order to ensure that Victor would never know he had even left, so he quickly yet cautiously put each letter back in its rightful scattered place as though they had never been touched, and pulled the hood of his cloak over his head. With a deep, shaky breath, he could feel a new sensation pulsing through him - a rush of adrenaline that raised his heart rate and widened his yellow eyes. Letter clutched tightly in hand, exited the cabin and broke into a sprint. Down the mountain he ran with superhuman speed, leaping over logs and boulders as though they were mere hurdles. Though he should have balked at sheer cliff faces, instead he lept from them and skid down their sides, ignoring the sharp pain of the rock scraping at the soles of his feet and the palm of his empty hand. Letting his intuition guide him, he continued his swift journey to Geneva. Though the place held painful, dreadful memories for him, the surge of adrenaline that coursed through him overrode the thoughts, and he raced toward the location of the address. Slowing to a walk, his chest heaved and ached from exertion, but he slowed his breathing as he came upon a fence that outlined one of many pastures that outskirted a large house on a hill beyond. In one pasture, he could just barely see a figure on horseback, cantering through a field with his wavy, tied hair flickering ember orange in the sunlight behind him.

“Can I help you, sir?” came a sudden voice from beside him. He jumped at the sound, instinctively hiding his face in the hood of his cloak.

“I- ...yes. Yes, I believe you can,” he stammered in reply. The stranger, a servant from the Clerval household, gave him a curious look as he held out the letter. “This is a letter for a man named Henry Clerval. I am of the impression that this is his residence?” The servant smiled as he took the letter.

“Ordinarily I would have sent you in the direction of Ingolstadt in Germany, but as luck would have it, master Henry returned home just yesterday.” He inspected the folded letter curiously. “May I ask your name?” The creature froze, gripping his cloak tighter around himself.

“I am but a simple deliverer of this message, kind sir. My name need not be of any concern. As for the letter, I am under the impression that he will understand who it is from once he has received it.” The servant nodded.

“I understand. Thank you - I will see that it’s delivered to him promptly.” With that, the man turned and started off toward where the man on horseback was riding, glancing back at the creature in confusion for a moment before continuing with a brisk pace to the one he would be delivering the letter to. The creature waited a moment longer to watch for the rider’s reaction, smiled, knowing he had made the right decision, and began his sprint back toward home.

“Master Henry? Sir?” the servant called in the pasture, letter held carefully in his hand. Henry’s hazel eyes lifted as he turned his head and gently pulled back on the reins of his mount. The mare he rode slowed to a trot, then to a walk as Henry carefully turned her in the direction of the servant.

“Yes, Marc? What is it? Is there something wrong?”

“Nothing wrong, sir,” Marc replied. As Henry slowed his steed to a stop at his side, he looked down curiously at the other man, who held the letter out to him. “This arrived for you just now from an unknown deliverer. He said you would know who it was from when you read it.” Now thoroughly intrigued, Henry took the letter and opened it. His eyes widened as he beheld the handwriting, and slowly his other hand lifted to his mouth as his jaw dropped while he read. “Is there something wrong, sir?” Tears welled in Henry’s eyes, dripping down onto his freckled cheeks as he looked up from the letter, his expression of shock turning to a tearfully happy smile.

“No, Marc, everything is much better than I had anticipated.” Marc gave him a confused glance. “Will you help me ready a supply pack and ride with me? I will need to be leaving at once.”

“Of course, sir,” Marc replied with a curt nod. “May I ask where it is we are headed?”

“The base of Mount Montanvert.” Henry turned his mount, his eyes resting on the distant mountains. “Be prepared to bring the horses back here for me once we arrive there. I might not be returning for quite some time.”

#frankenstein au #frankenpride #clervalstein #head empty clervenstein thoughts #clervenstein my beloved #also back at it again with not proof reading before posting lmao so hopefully this is good

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