#not even half as much!!!! why. they arent as dedicated as me

[strwbrymlkshake]

VIOLENCE death killing maiming I want to talk to him so bad there is such a heavy weight on my chest (that's bad)

I need to talk to him I need to hang out with him I need him to comfort me auswjfjelfkl

#mine #🎸 #AAAAAAAHHH im gonna cry im killing and maimingand mutilating im so frustrated i dont want anything else besides him #uuuuuagh i hate this feeling does not feel good at all i need to talk to him now i dont care about anything else<3 #frustrated very frustrated uwhedkflel im getting so. angry? like i want to kill something<3??? aahaaa a I'm getting violent again #why wont you talk to ME and just me you already talk to them all the time just talk to me alone!!!!!!! they dont need you as bad as i do #not even half as much!!!! why. they arent as dedicated as me #idk im just so frustrated im crying a little bit i need him so bad im angry im HWHEJD i need to crawl out of my flesh #ok i spiraled out of control

[todayisafridaynight]

RIGHT YEAH I was also thinking about the scenario of Jo accompanying Masato in relation to this, in the vein of… that'd solidify that the whole lie was always about His Family and not The Family right… because what can Jo even DO for the family while he's away? He's more than a glorified accountant.

Though thinking about it, he probably wouldn't have been away too long, at least compared to a prison sentence for murder. Because Masato only faked his death in 2004 (at the very latest, I guess; it's when the news went public) and Bleach Japan was founded "almost 20 years" prior to 2019, at which point Aoki and Ogasawara had already graduated and returned to Japan.

That and Aoki wasn't in a wheelchair anymore when he met Ogasawara at Harvard, so perhaps Jo would only really /need/ to stay for the procedure and Aoki's physical therapy and all, though of course I can see him staying longer. Still, not too long, all things considered.

So this scenario's kind of the worst of both worlds, because perhaps those first couple of years it's Arakawa's own stubbornness, and then the rest of his family has to go away anyway. And he's so sure in that time what he needs is to be with his family again and he'll at least feel less alone, miss Ichi less.

But then Masato's Aoki now and only really staying in touch to use him and the Arakawa Family's resources for his own gain, and Jo--as you perfectly put it--doesn't know how to emotionally take care of him. So things he should be ecstatic about--seeing his son walk on his own two legs for the first time and having his right hand man back in action--end up bittersweet at best. Aiiieeeeee……

OH YEAH SHINJI I half-remembered there was a visit in 1 but not who actually went to visit Kiryu sorry for doing you like that my boy </3 still counts as part of a pattern to me though… subordinate visiting his aniki…

SPEAKING OF KIRYU. Yeah. Typical Kiryu L. Kazuma Kiryu you have blood on your hands and NOT in the funney Reddit meme way… ABSOLUTELY DERANGED to blame Ichi for anything in the ending whatsoever though like WHAT. He got him immediate medical attention and WE AS THE AUDIENCE don't even have time to react, let alone anyone living the fucking moment good god my blood pressure is spiking

ALSO THE JO POST… YEAH… yeah yeah yeah that's the shit I'm talking about… and like. This is where localization frustrates me so Bear With My Complaints a moment but his very last line is mistranslated in both versions, the sub in terms of what he was actually saying and the dub in terms of giving him this bitchy, flippant tone that doesn't convey his intent. So I'll cut them down the middle and say it's "[The] legit [way]? The word has never crossed my mind, not once."

There's just something to it as a clear thesis for his whole life and his eventual fate. Like of course Adachi means in terms of going through the proper legal processes, but words like proper, legit, decent, these also have clear connotations of adequacy. So for him to literally say NOTHING he's done has been adequate in his eyes perfectly illustrates what you were saying. Like he's always taken it as a matter of fact that nothing he could do would be enough, like that's a truth woven into his existence so tightly he never even thought about it. And now there really is nothing he can do.

i have my own theoretical timeline on masato's stay in america, but even with what we have there's a lot of variables involved with for exactly when certain events happened

under the assumption masato was to enroll at harvard in the fall of 2001 (assuming he was somehow able to be approved for a lung transplant as soon as that year), then jo would- at max- might only have to be abroad for (assuming they leave in january) nine months (to account for the time it took for masato to get approved for surgery and then the surgery itself plus the potential 3-6 month recovery period afterwards)

alternatively, if masato had to wait a year- two max if we're being optimistic so he could graduate on time under an accelerated 2-year academic schedule to get surgery- then jo, similarly, would have to be abroad for a similar amount of time.

the time gone doesn't matter too much i guess: arakawa will still be left alone for a long time, and that really couldnt have been easy either way. the time his family's gone only makes their comeback all the more bittersweet, as you put it (´▽｀;;)

OH BUT YEAH NO THE Y7 BIT THAT SHIT PISSED ME OFF SO MUCH WHEN I READ IT like mates were trying to be smart about it like 'wow ichi way to go showing how much you love aoki and how you'd do anything for him 🙄' like God Forbid a human character acts human and imperfect what the fuck you want him to do he aint got no goddamn spidey sense how the shit was he supposed to know (;´༎ຶД༎ຶ`)(;´༎ຶД༎ຶ`)(;´༎ຶД༎ຶ`)

but yeah.. speaking of Doing The Right Thing jo's never ending feelings of inadequacy are my favorite </3 cause its like.. it's a reason why i love jo so much if i can be weird to say: what he did wasnt something that you can confidently forgive or try to say 'he's done the most to rectify this' or anything like that because putting a baby in a coin locker's like.. a lot of steps are involved to do that.. not really a spur-of-the-moment kind of thing that would have grounds to forgive yourself for.. so the fact jo knows this and just has that intense guilt- it's my bread and butter to say the least 😔

#long post #snap chats #i didnt mean to ramble about my masato timeline OOPS. i havent mentioned it in months tho.... i do like thinkin a it.... #thats not even to consider the idea of jo staying abroad all four years to make sure masato was getting along fine #and to make sure he made it back to japan alright- but for the sake of giving masato some independence for a bit #we can also say jo went back when he was 'no longer needed' and just let masato live how he wanted to #but again i guess the exact amount of months and years dont matter too much #as for Jo's Suffering though i can't explain why i love it so much #i think its just cause like. its nice that a character acknowledges they did something unforgivable #like even if aoki did get the lung transplant and he's fine- or WAS fine rip- that doesnt negate the 24 some years he had to be miserable #i cant explain it im very bad at explaining things can we tell #its just such a weird situation. because again what jo did isnt something you can excuse or forgive yk #like masato's critical years and his early adulthood were severely impacted by his disability #to say half his life was altered by jo's actions is an understatement- and jo knows that right #even if he made sure everything that could be done for him to make his life better was done #there was probably always that thought of 'this extra work wouldnt be necessary if i didnt do that' yk what i mean #so i guess im just glad he's dedicated to acknowledging that and trying to take responsibility for it now #idk idk i cant explain it but i hope we know what i mean. dear god i hope we do words arent my strong suit #but yeah again.... now he cant do anything to continue righting that wrong in his eyes #now its just guilt with no means of alleviating it and THAT. hurts the soul in a good way. me thinks anyhow

[bonefall]

One of the things that bothers me about warriors cats the longer I look at it is that the clans dont have much *culture* to them beyond the code, especially in the newer books and especially between each other!

Like where did sharing tounges at highnoon and the apprentice vigil and the journey to The Holy Place and the elders mostly telling and collecting stories all day for their very oral culture go?

Its an oral culture- why do NONE of the clans sing? Cats are known for yowling to attract mates, why isnt serenading a cat to be your mate not a tradition? Its also a novel way to keep stories alive- little rhymes for kits and apprentices to memorize types of animals and what the code is and why its there.

And for the clans having different cultures each- if I were writing warrior cats id bring windclan being tunnlers back as an 'always have been and still are' thing- that having been how they figured out the tunnels under the lake. They know how to keep the tunnels from flooding or collapsing and have a huge network in their territory. Dedicated diggers are prized crafttoms and mollys, and make intricate artworks out of the bigger tunnels, laying patterns of rocks and glowing fungi in the walls. Its considered a holy role that is in service to starclan- as they are living without their light so the clan may grow strong (though they must spend night vigils every half moon under the stars in case being without them too long makes them grow addled).

For shadowclan, they have a culture of eating more insects and amphibians because of the swamp area, and as they are associated with more nocturnal behavior (or used to be when I was reading properly)- they learned rudimentary astronomy and have starcharts/maps woven into their den walls of the brighter stars. They dont live in a swamp now, but their culture of a wider selection of foods has- and they learned the basics of farming insects (like that beetle that eats meat to clean bones and also mealworms they can eat for food). They still have star charts, and are adamant about apprenticies being able to name every star and how to use them to navigate before they receive their warrior names.

Riverclan have to deal with flooding and are aquatic, so they learned how to make rafts to float on and make all their nests that way, and pride themselves in making quality rafts that also look impressive. Once at the lake, they learned how to make bigger and bigger rafts, partially by observing twolegs. They take these rafts to fish in the lake, with one cat 'driving; it, and the other fishing and adding to their load. They also have the biggest habit of taking 'twoleg artifacts' and repurposing them- one such item was a children's boogie board, as it miraculously floats even with an impressive amount of weight.

For thunderclan, they are forest cats, and then live in the gorge. They use moss, ferns, and leaves more than the other clans in their craftwork, and have learned the art of encouraging moss and lichen to grow where they want it for aesthetic and use purposes. When they moved to the gorge, they had to do their work in that outside of camp because the gorge was too sunny and didnt have the right soil. They did however, learn rockwork over time, and build stone and hardened clay/mud structures.

Skyclan live vertically, of course. They build their camp and nests in structures high up- nesting in trees like birds. Kits, the medicine cat(s), and elders live low to the ground, but the clan nests high in camp. They once brought down a young deer by pouncing from above onto its back in a legendary hunt, deer skull in the leader's den was carefully cleaned and placed there. Skyclan territory is covered in networks of carefully built and maintained pathways through the trees and across tipped over ones. The regular patrol route technically doesnt require them to touch down once if they arent marking anything. They cause young trees and hardwood bushes to grow the way they want them to by bending branches as they grow- which is how they build their dens.

Love WC, but really wish there was more culture to it

It's true, the cats really have absolutely no culture, and it's a big problem because it makes living as a clan cat look completely miserable.

This whole blog is basically Bones-Misses-TPB but I'll say it again; the death of sharing tongues, the warrior name pilgrimage, and the shrunken elder's den have all made the books objectively worse. These things were extremely important for communicating culture and social status in the universe-

Sharing tongues was how Firestar was able to bond and gossip with other members, and gave the authors more things for the characters to be doing instead of only taking breaks at mealtime

The elders would comment on omens, luck, and occasionally pass on a story. Bluestar was able to identify in a better moment that Cloudkit would benefit from being more integrated socially with the Clan and gave him elder duties as a 'punishment.' They were the ones who were there to tell Fireheart that his deputyship was unlucky.

The name pilgrimage gave us insight to Fireheart, Tigerclaw, AND Bluestar all at the same time to better establish their characters.

I blame it on the 'increased urgency' that the newer books have, honestly. It was understandable in TNP when the forest was being destroyed, and we would swap back between the Sundrown Patrol and the Forest, but after that it was practically supernatural event after supernatural event, only calming down in AVOS. By that time there were 18 books between it and the end of TPB, enough for these traditions to be forgotten in the eyes of the writers.

Culture would make the books more fun and engaging. Thankfully the fandom's really creative, and never runs out of cool ideas when prompted. I particularly agree with your idea that the cats need to do more stuff with stars- navigation, astrology, star charts.

I also find it really weird that no clan eats bugs, like, that would be so easy? Especially ShadowClan, who has access to carrionplace. Domestication usually happens when you have a lot of something you can't eat (grass, slop, seeds), so you find an animal that can turn it into something you can eat (beef, pork, chicken). It's really not a stretch to imagine some cat figuring out how to raise maggots or meal worms... especially since, dried, that stuff can last all winter long

[maverick-werewolf]

man i totally respect your preferences but like damn, werewolves arent real, you can kinda do what you want with them, you can follow myth closely or make up your own shit if thats what you like more... your blog is rly helpful and i rly appreciate what youre doing but the like "theyre NOT werewolves if" like... lol

If you "respect my preferences" and enjoy my blog, why send a shitty little message and even hide behind being anonymous while doing so?

Laugh at me and move on. But you should consider growing up beyond sending condescending anonymous messages about what I dedicate so much of my time to doing and working on completely for free just because it's my deepest passion.

And if you really do enjoy my blog, you should grasp by now the importance of maintaining any integrity to something based in legend, so the real-world folklore and mythology do not get corrupted by bad pop culture and then misinterpreted and ultimately forgotten just because some insecure modern writers want to be "different."

Werewolves have haunted the human psyche for time immemorial, all across the entire world. You can’t do better than something that, at a base level, has never left the minds and souls of people who are terrified and fascinated by it.

Let me lay it out for you again anyway: if you want to be "different," you don't need to use werewolves.

There are many, many things one can do with werewolves. But turning them into zombies or into dogs or into some other total nonsense that has nothing to do with even half a werewolf legend won't make them anything other than zombies or dogs or some silly nonsense creature.

Let werewolves be werewolves. If you want zombies, make up your own zombies and call them something original. If you want weredogs, do that, call them something else. If you want something entirely different, make something up yourself.

In this world that claims to uphold "originality" so much and picks on people who base things in history and legend, what's so wrong with that?

Some people, like me, love werewolves, and we love to recognize them as some form of being a werewolf, even if it's a person who turns into a wolf or a person who dons a skin and becomes a man-wolf or someone who turns into a wolf-man when they get angry or the Hollywood classic werewolf under the moonlight or some other variety. Again, there are a million things you can do with werewolves and still have them be recognizable werewolves that werewolf fans will love and that will pay homage to the terrifying mythological creature that has lurked in the nightmares of humanity for as long as humanity itself has existed.

But braindead pop culture doesn't need to utterly destroy what I and so many others have deeply enjoyed all our lives and what humanity has told tales about forever just for the sake of wanting to be different. The fact that they aren’t real is so far removed from the point that said point clearly flew into the stratosphere over your head.

Go be different with something else.

#asks #? #anonymous #werewolf #werewolves #our werewolves are different #creative bankruptcy #stop abusing anons on my blog

[gayspock]

ive been listening to vera&jessie's podcast still and i think they helped me realise what it was abt farscape in terms of storytelling and pacing that make it so refreshing, like.... the episodes are sooo freaking packed... AND they pull it off !!! like by comparison i know, like, my main gripe with chibnall era dw is that episodes kind of suffocate themselves. like they introduce a LOT of half-formed concepts into episodes and never really follow through or develop them.

meanwhile with farscape its like... yep they introduce a lot of ideas into one episode . and they arent explored to the extent where, like, a star trek episode might rlly do a deep dive into sth. BUT instead of like with recent dw......its all so cohesive and snappy. like it WORKS so well together in its pacing, and the MANY issues build upon each other so well... and whilst we dont ALWAYS get the time to ruminate on, like, a storybeat it doesnt feel... shallow? or underdeveloped? it does just feel- yknow, fast, bc whats happening IS fast-paced and by the end of the ep its like you sit back and ur like hweh yeah...

and its like i also dont think they do anything. like. CRAZY off the beating path for scifi, narratively speaking, BUT. instead its like... lots of little divergences at each of these points that make it really nice and unique... where it'll be an age old trope but its like. both bc they go through it so fast and also bc of the way they do it it just feels... refreshed...

and also i love the way theyre slowly developing characters at a more even pace rather than just dedicating whole eps to each. it makes it feel so much more organic. dont get me wrong- i love an ep dedicated to a deep dive on a guy... but i think this way it does sorta feel more like a journey with them. not everything is just revealed so fast. and theyre developing... slowly? but developing still. and its at a realistic pacr wherein, like, they dont just go through one thing and become someone entirely different... its just sth they work at...

&i also love crichton ... i really do. i like him. he could have been nothing but hes adorable... sorrryyyy. like- i realise why, more and more, tng did always rely on picard SO much. i dont like it. but it makes sense for an episodic, show that ppl couldnt binge/follow continuously, to always just... bring out Mr Star Trek for when ppl are flickinmg through channels, so its more recognisable... but i still dont like the way they handle him sometimes, euch.... i say that just as an example bc meanwhile i rlly like the way theyre doing john, i do... bc i kno they still have to walk that line, and include him a lot and so yeassss he is sometimes Mister Main Character but its usually... more balanced and more level in actual execution . and theres subtleties that rlly make it less egregious and more like well oh thatsnice.... bc yeas he is the protag, the one who brings the ep to a close and the level-headed guy but ... its still buffered by his little momence... and its alsooo helped bc humans are nebver put on a weird freaking pedestal and the other guys do all also get their dues. smile.

#Egg.txt #farscape liveblog

[cariseca]

Tintin and Haddock for the character opinion thing

A little long to my tastes, heres a readmore

Tintin! tried to give him eyeballs but gave up bc he looked like an illumation entretainment background character lol

He looks. Terrible. I havent drawn him years

ALMOST BINGO'D

wasted potential: I just think if hergé hadnt been a weirdo catholic on a mission, tintin would've been more interesting and have more emotional depth even if it is clear he has some underlying personal issues it is never actually Seen bc he's suppossed to be the paragon of virtue and strenght and all that. I havent read the comics in years so i may be wrong but that was my impression then and thats my impression now

not as deep as they seem: honestly! i can see where everyones coming from bc obviously a kid going around and doing whats correct on impulse or trying to decipher mysteries etc is bound to have some trauma but he rlly isnt all that in canon. He's just a Good and Strong and Pure Catholic Boy :))))) (rage)

nothing i like about them is technically canon: yes and no. I will admit theres some aspects of canon tintin that make him likeable like hurrying to help or being pretty reckless, but it's more about the implications i can come up with??

why do they look like that: im joking i know why they look like that but still. He looks so bland in comparison to the rest of the cast....

they work better as part of a dynamic: HONESTLY you can make him interact with any character in the series and there will be a fun back and forth, even with snowy it's funny/sweet how they interact with each other. Tintin rlly needs the other characters to actually shine bc to me he's kinda bland, like theres a wall and theres nothing that bounces back against him if his family or friends arent there

they got too much screentime: im joking BUT this isnt even exclusive to the story hes in i mean like theres too much of him around and i find him kinda overhyped and overrated sdsfsdsdsfsf no offense to ppl who like him im just like "i want that kid obliterated"

i actively dislike them sorry: SORRY sdfsdfdf it's so bland to say but i think im just soured about the work itself and its transformative works featuring him! nothing against the fans whenever i see his face im like "him? again?"

Free Space: the tibet adventure could easily be an adventure/romance movie like just thinking of the implications of dreaming of someone u havent seen in a long while and going by your gut that they are in danger... IT EATS ME how dedicated tintin is to his friendships in general but i will always think him and chang would develope something more.... (sighs) young love (cries)

Haddock! I just drew him from memory too

Now I didnt score but heres a little explanation to each space:

they are soooo cool looking: I just really like how hes so scruffy looking and has that blue/black color scheme is very simple but effective :) i also just like sea themed characters in general and middle aged characters with Issues:tm:

everyone but me is wrong about them <3: NOT really true im just thinking of common mischaracterizations i used to see or seen in bad fanfiction bc otherwise i think theres a lot of ppl that really "get" haddock's essence

if they were real i would be afraid of them: half true, i would be more irritated by him than afraid of him. Like shut your mouth old man! type of way

they are like a blorbo to me: for a long time haddock was a blorbo to me, im not tht attached to the character anymore but i do think of him fondly

not as deep as they seem: i had to repeat this to myself bc even if he is plenty fleshed out in the actual works i think as fans we see More than there actually is.

free space: pretty sure ive said this before but i will always see haddock's personal journey as healing from the abusive rship he had with Alan Thompson (which was a catalyst to substance abuse) and seeing value in himself bc the people around him value him (his cat, tintin, prof calculus) basically that found family goodness lol

#tysm! #ask #archibald haddock #tintin

[inolienkiki]

OH MY FUCKING GOD DARK ONE FORGOTTEN im fuckingf sobbing what was that. why arent people talking about that. it was so good and im gonna have a headache tonight because i cried but i don't care because i heard this story. go listen to it now

and I had it in my notes! I had this idea in my notes!! (went and checked and it's not in my notes) ok but at some point I wrote down a character who uses a curse to their advantage, and then I read alcatraz and was like oh that's not what I meant but I guess it's fun, but THIS. THIS DOES IT. SO WELL. and at some other point I wrote a short story about a functionally invisible character and that was before i read the schwa was here and this is actually one of my favorite tropes but this is the best one. this is absolutely the best one. endorsing dark one forgotten as the best functionally invisible story

went on coppermind to find the actors and coppermind forgot about them tooooo chris and sophie don't even have coppermind pages wtaf why did no one listen to this

i think its rachel jacobs and sophie oda and i can't find much info about either of them but they were boht fucking amazing. dear god thank you rachel jacobs. the number of times you said the other actors were really good and then you completely blew them out of the water. you made me tear up at least twice and the other time it was sophie oda so points to all of you

the story. can't even explain waht thsi is. true crime horror mystery fantasy? and I don't even like the first half of that sentence but I don't care because the story punched me in the gut and I didn't even need to understand the worldbuilding. chris asked questions and consulted experts and ran experiments and she got my heart. skeptical about sophie but she was there the entire time. not her project, not her obsession, not her responsibility, but she stayed, and she helped. chris and sophie said they weren't a couple and I was immediately like "yeah if they weren't both women(, bitch) that would be foreshadowing" and IT WAS FUCKIGN FORESHADOWING istg. This. This is also the best romance. And I hate romance I'm arospec lmao but dear god this got me. the sheer dedication to stare at somebody for eight god damn hours straight and then the music box scene. the music box scene. I got to it and I knew it was going to happen as soon as sophie asked but it still blew my mind and broke my heart that she did. because sophie is the best person in the world.

I have not been making sanderson reread update posts, and I read rithmatist and all of reckoners, but I'd already read most of those and there's nothing notable about lux except the plot holes and they didn't hit me hard like fucking dark one forgotten did. i barely knew this existed. It came out during the year of sanderson and yet nobody includes it in the book count. (There were 8 books/stories released, cowards, not 5.) but also I feel the need to mention that I thought dark one was quite good as well, but also that it feels like only the first chapter of a story so I can't say much else as of yet, I guess? I need more dark one. now. anything mirandus. why is nobody talking about this thing

also I feel the need to mention that there were she-ra references? like, references to the reboot, which is hands down my #2 favorite show (can't compete with dark but nothing can lol). and they were good references and they made sense. I started laughing hysterically when sophie said "hey adora". has brandon sanderson watched she-ra and the princesses of power? is this canon? I mean he definitely needs to

#cosmere reread #kiki's reading list #dark one #dark one forgotten #brandon sanderson #you don't need any background. you don't need any context. #just go listen to this now. you won't regret it. #it's an audio drama. fake true crime podcast basically. #you can get it on barnes & noble or probably somewhere else idk

[kriostff]

I have so much going on in my life right now. guess its about time i share something.

At school, I usually hang out with this friend group of mine. But I don’t see the trust, smiles, laughs, or faces I used to. I just got back in contact with an old friend (we will call her Sara) that I called off terms with for a while. But while I am exited to be friends again, there is so much things Sara had done, but I am just going to focus on one. Sara and I, were arguing, when her best friend decided to help defend her. But she took it a bit too far when defending Sara. She had said this. “plus why do you make everything abt your self? like when Sara was talking to you, you just try to make it abt your self like?” That never left me. It’s been a good year and a half, but I just swallowed that sentence like a shot. It was hard. It always comes up and up but whenever I feel like saying something to the group chat of people I hang out with, I stop myself.

At this point I once had tried talking, but it ended up just how I thought it would. “howdyy” “…” the conversation stops and an hour later they continue their conversations on whatever sh*t they’re talking about. I try so hard until I can’t bare it anymore. Sometimes, I don’t know what’s wrong with me until I get a reminder by people’s looks. I know all of them. The disappointed one,

the “no body fvcking cares” one,

the just stop talking one,

the can you leave one,

the say something one,

All of them leave me in the girls restroom, quietly on the toilet, crying everything that comes out. The popular girls doing their makeup, and whenever they would go quiet, I would have to hold my breathe, and oh man I would get light headed so often.

The state I’ve been in lately, could be better. As a person thats parents are good, but dont really care about what they eat, its hard to control what/how much you eat. And seeing other people with small waists, its so difficult to not compare yourself. Its like, you will convince yourself to go on a diet or something, but sooner or later, you crave something so bad that it ends up in your stomach.

I am not saying “bigger girls” or boys arent pretty, I think that the “chubby look” is so beautiful myself, but I just with that I could try out another one. I have so much dedication that just ends up, nowhere. The last three to two years have been the worst. It was when I was surrounded by really pretty girls, and I felt that I definitely couldn’t, as hard as I could try, be one of them. So I know some people say “oh yeah I was depressed” as a quote on quote attention seek phrase, but its not like that when I say I was depressed. Im talking like, wouldn’t go anywhere, wouldnt drink water, and just sometimes, considered why I was even here… if i wasnt happy with the body I was in. People say “work out” or “eat less” and “try a different diet” and believe me, im trying as hard as I can, but it all ends up nowhere. Why cant i be happy? Why can’t I like who I am? Why cant I look down below myself without feeling sick? Why cant I not have suicidal thoughts? Why cant I be perfect like everyone else? Why cant I get any answers? Well its because you are just lazy, a food addict, everyone says. Just please, let me be happy.

#vent post #reading #ed vent

[not-me-simping-for-blasty]

boyfriend!bakugou headcannons

before dating

- will start noticing you only after you either,,

A) do something intentionally heroic

B) do something incredibly stubborn/borderline reckless to save someone

-there is no room in his big boy ego brain for anyone who doesn’t possess hero qualities,, soz thats just the way it is

-thats not to say he would only date someone from the hero course tho,, he would 100% take interest in someone from any course

-as long as they’re as dedicated to helping others and giving their 100% to everything they do,, he’d be happy

-would watch you for a long time but would be incredibly obvious about it. he’d try and hide it and be sneaky, but everyone knows. even you.

-when he finally asks you out, there was not a single plan involved. he just saw you alone and decided to man up about it on a whim

-that being said- after he does ask you out, he immeadiately panics about what to do on your first date. que frantic google searching-

top searches from that night include

how do cool guys dress

how to stop blushing

first date ideas that arent romantic

why am i sweating so much

-first date is an utter disaster by traditional standards

-he takes you somewhere with an athletic aspect- like minigolf or laser tag. he pays for you but immeadiately follows it up with “you better actually play and don’t just make me waste my money! its not gonna be fun kicking your ass unless you try, got it?”

-you have fun and can’t stop smiling- but not bc lil katsuki is charming you.

-no, you’re smiling bc he’s embarrassing himself at every turn trying to impress you. at first it’s a little off-putting, but then you realize just how much he cares and it’s kinda cute

-cute in the a dog-chasing-it’s-tail-until-it-gets-dizzy-and-falls-over kinda cute; but adorable nonetheless

-bakugou walks away from the date thinking he crushed it. just absolutely blew it out of the water,, there’s no doubt in his mind even though there 100% should be

early relationship

-incredibly touchy,, but not in like traditional or “cute” ways

-prior to you, bakugou’s only significant feeling was pure rage,, so needless to say he doesn’t know how to handle his sudden urge to touch you all the time

-he’s super nervous about it and doesn’t know if it’s suddenly okay hug and touch you as much as he wants to,, so he resorts to less traditional means of skinship

-so he’ll flick your forehead when you smile just right at him. he’ll pinch your cheeks when you talk too much. he’ll drop his hand flat and heavy over yours while you’re writing,, just so the pencil skitters across the page and you yell at him.

-he’ll push you over. not like a hard shove or anything,, but if he sees you sitting on the ground or squatting, he’ll just sort of push you over??? especially if you’re standing up from a chair,,

-ofc he catches you before you can fall or anything, but really he just uses “saving” you as an excuse to touch you

-he’ll push at you, catch you, and then smirk at you with “god, you’re so clumsy. i won’t always be around to save your sorry ass, you know.”

-it’s annoying so you just push him away and glare, but unfortunately for you, that’s what he wanted the whole time bc he’s a little shit

-that being said,, he’s still suprisingly sweet in even weirder ways

-bakugou’ll make you food. but he’ll never be around when you eat it,, you’ve tried before to eat the meals he cooks for you right after he cooks them, but he gets too embarrassed and finds an excuse to leave right when you’re about to eat the first bite

-he’ll tease you. a lot. about everything. but nobody else can tease you,, if somebody’s embarrassing you, bakugou will either threaten them until they stop talking or make a scene until nobody is paying attention to you anymore

-he’ll leave you little notes. most of them just have little doodles on them with reminders about homework or training, but they’re cute nonetheless

-when he takes you out on dates his hands always crackle when he first sees you. you’ve come to learn that the more dressed up you are, the more his palms will crackle

-normally you have to be the one to initiate any sort of romantic contact,, pls just kiss him already he’s almost always thinking about it but cant find the courage to do so

-when he does kiss or hug you on his own accord,, don’t say anything. he’ll pull away super quick and get all red!!!

established relationship

- suuuper clingy

-, not in the sense that he’s constantly phyiscally all over you,, he just won’t go anywhere with the class if you’re staying back, or will just follow you around the whole day if he’s got nothing else to do

-like,, if the bakusquad is looking for him they’re honestly just better off looking for you since he’s never far behind

-strangely enough, bakugou’s pretty quiet?? if he’s comfortable around you, he’ll stop being so prideful and picking so many arguments.

-his whole badass front at school wears him out,, so if katsuki comes to hang out with you after a long school day he’ll probably want to sit and just listen to you talk

-is a whole ass cat when it comes to physical affection. he normally acts indifferent entirely, but when he wants attention he wants attention

-might as well just drop everything you’re doing since he’s gonna throw you on the bed and just lay directly on top of you until you stop fighting him

-pet his hair super softly and tell him he’s strong and that you’re proud of him pls,, katsuki will cry

-formal dates happen less often now, but you see him more,,, in fact, you’re almost never without him. when he’s not doing school or studying or training katsuki is always where you are

-he’s pretty possessive and jealous- not just of like other guys, but literally anything that’s getting your attention. see examples 1 & 2

1.) ooo new book that has you super enthralled??? soz, it’s not just your book anymore. katsuki sits you on his lap and tells you that the only way he’s gonna let you continue to “waste your time on something so stupid” is if you read it out loud to him

2.) omg you got a new puppy that you’re just enamoured with?? tough, it’s bakugou’s puppy now too,, and he never lets it leave his side so the only way you’re gonna get to cuddle with the puppy is if you cuddle with bakugou too

-he’s super proud of you so he’ll introduce you as his s/o to everyone he meets,,, and if the person he’s talking to also has an s/o??? good lord katsuki would never shut tf up about how much better and stronger and cooler you two were than the other couple

-is not embarrassed about pda. at all. if everyone already knows you’re together than there’s nothing to hide,, he thinks that since he put in all the work to get you to love him than he should be able to reap the rewards,, anywhere. at anytime.

-that being said, he does find showing affection in front of others to be v v embarassing!!! so to combat that he turns it up to 11 and flirts and flusters you so bad so that all the 1A guys just think he’s super cool and manly with u instead of soft

-that being said, the second you guys are alone it’s like a switch has been flipped and you could fluster him only by batting your eyes just right

-insists you ‘cook’ with him. katsuki doesn’t let you do much but like cut up vegetables or stir, but he likes to listen to you talk while he does everything else

-generally pretty touch starved but only really indulges if you make the first move. like, he won’t ever tell you to come sit with him on the couch, but if you sit down?? then immeadiately he’s pulling you into his side and doesn’t let you up until he’s ready to get up as well

-still pokes and flicks and shoves you. also now feels comfortable enough to prank you. he thinks you’re adorable when you get mad enough to yell at him so prepare to be mad a lot.

-tells you he loves you damn near constantly. he wont say it first tho bc ~tsundere~ but after you admitted it first, he’ll say it. and once you know??? then he’s gonna make sure it’s known,,, blasty baby doesnt do anything half-assed esp not something as important as showing his love

-he likes to pick out your clothes for you bc otherwise you’ll walk about looking too cute and its a problem bc he never figured out how to get his hands to stop crackling

-will call you dumbass, idiot, moron, halfwit, klutz, etc in public but in private it’s usually princess or little brat or very rarely baby

#katuski bakugou #mha katsuki #bakugou x y/n #bakugou katsuki #bakugou headcanons #bakugou hcs #bnha #my hero x reader #my hero academia #mha #mha bakugou

[just-a-fangirl13]

Why s5 *might* be the season MacRiley happens

Okay so...Hear me out! I'm not crazy I promise!!

Firstly, after 5x03 (and probably 5x04) it may seem very unlikely that MacRiley could ever happen. But I thought of a few reasons why they might actually happen by the end of s5 after all.... (it gets a lil long winded and kinda complicated but just stick with me till the end!)

1. All the MacRiley moments including the ones in 5x03.

[this Mac smile could not be an accident or something that slipped through both production and post-production right?! that in itself is a whole reason!]

Every Macriley moment we have ever had- whether it's the hugs, Riley saving Mac, Mac saving Riley, the ultimate show of loyalty when Riley went after Mac during Codex or even just the looks exchanged between the two- to any outsider it would seem pretty obvious that they are dating or at least in love. Keep in mind the writers would have written each of those scenes and Lucas and Tristan have acted them out with a specific build up in mind aka MacRiley.(think about the date episode: Riley just got dumped but was still thinking about how Mac might be hungry. She didnt have to do that. She could have just shown up at his place..) I mean how can they write two people so perfectly in sync and so perfect for each other and not have them end up together? It would just be a waste of all that tension and slow burn. (not to mention all the hugs and glances)

2. They know we exist. 

The MacRiley fam is very active on twitter with the writers and while they were writing 5x01 they knew we were around. They know we are a huge group. They would not want to risk pissing 90% of the fandom off by not making MacRiley endgame.

[P.S.yes 5x03 was a bait and switch but if you were paying attention you would have noticed that neither Lucas not Tristan live tweeted or hyped up the episode. They knew we would probably hate it so they didnt publicise it too much! so in the future if you have doubts about the episode being a MacRiley one just check their stories or posts on twitter/intstagram]

3. Yes 5x03 happened. 

I really think it was an episode they HAD to write. Ok so after 4x13 they had 7 more episodes planned and were filming 4x20 (aka the finale) when the pandemic struck. So they have these 6 episodes but no finale for it. [Idk if anyone else has noticed but in 5x01 there were clearly some parts cut out. For example the conversation between Desi and Riley towards the end seemed a bit jilted. Riley asking Desi to forgive her but Desi replied with yeah we are cool (still no apology ofc) I feel like something happened during that which ended up getting cut out so it could fit with the final story.]

This makes me think that they have rewritten a few bits to tie into the new finale episode. In 5x03 when Mac asked Desi to come fishing with him which was clearly something very personal to him she was like no do better.. then we see Mac's disappointed expression. She could have easily said okay but maybe not for our first date? Or its not really my thing? Or just about anything else rather than laughing in his face like that. Eventhough MD is together they still arent compatible. Mac’s final words in 5x03 was him being desperate. I truly think he is so broken and lost that Desi is the only safe thing left, the only thing he feels like he can fix right now. Once he finds himself again and heals...then it's going to hit him like a pile of bricks!!

4. But Riley doesn't have feelings anymore...WELL doesnt she? 

When it comes to Mac, Riley is always in denial. We saw it in s4 when she tells Bozer not to make her say it. I think s5 will show her finally accepting it. Finally accepting that she is in love with her best friend and that it definitely isnt Codex adrenaline because she caught the feels when Codex wasnt even around. While Mac's arc would include realising he and Desi are never going to work and that he is unhappy and that RILEY is the one for him.

[why else would they give Riley feelings for Mac? Something has to come of it.]

5. The slow burn rule.[this point is a lil complicated] 

Now season 5 is rumoured to have 13 episodes. So here’s what I think: If MacGyver follows the pattern that most shows do when it comes to slow burns, then technically MacRIley should have happened at the end of season 4. But since the season got cut short and they didnt get to air/finish their final episode the writers had to improvise. 

From what I know, 4x19 which is 5x04 for us is the episode where Mac meets Desi’s parents and 4x20 was supposed to be the finale that was left unfinished.(they are definitely moving the timeline ahead if a pre finale episode is suddenly a mid season one.) There might have been a 4x21 or 4x22 but I haven't heard anything about those....EVER.

So what I think they have decided to do instead is extend the MD storyline a bit longer just so they dont end up scrapping all their s4 episodes where they would be together and write a new finale that ties everything together, aka MacRiley.

If you think about episode counts, s4 and s5 together would have 26 episodes which is a how long a normal season runs. Basically what im trying to say is if we follow the ‘slow burns end by s4’ and take season 5 as an extension of 4 then MacRiley should get together in the season 5 finale or maybe the episode just before. (IM REALLY TRYING TO GET SOME LOGIC INTO THIS)

This would be a typical TV thing too where the couple finds out about each other’s feelings while the main arc of the show is also at its peak, which perfectly sets up a future season where fans are hyped but still has a satisfying ending.

6. So what about MacDesi?

So far the macgyver writers have given us characters we love. Think of every character on the show apart from maybe Desi... Mac, Riley, Bozer, Jack, Matty, Leanna, Samantha, Russ and even Murdoc. WE LOVE EVERY SINGLE ONE OF THEM. So then why is Desi such a strange character? I think shes purposely been written as an opposite to Mac or even Riley (I get she’s supposed to kinda replace Jack but Jack is really irreplaceable). 

It's not necessarily a bad thing its just not a great thing to do or have great execution. People have said things like Desi is a badass and shouldnt have to apologise or say I love you back to her boyfriend because she is a strong woman...I'm sorry but your opinion of who a strong woman is, is EXTREMELY skewed. A strong woman is someone who can make mistakes and when she does, she is ‘strong’ enough to own up to it, she is loyal and fierce and also caring while being a badass who can take down bad guys. And for GODS SAKE, RILEY DAVIS IS A STRONG WOMAN...people have called her mushy and feminine on twitter and I'm just very confused by that.....

Anyways before I go off on a rant, it seems like Desi is intentionally being written this way. Every opportunity they get to redeem her and make her more relatable or just a better person they just dont take it. While Rileys character arc is one of the best I've ever seen. Either its intentional or they’ve forgotten how to write characters...which is worrisome but ill give them the benefit of the doubt.

The writers also know we dont like Desi. The amount of times we've tagged them in the toxic posts or pointed out problematic things we can be sure they've seen at least half of those. So theres no way they dont know. RIGHT?

So why then is MD still a thing you may ask??

Well for one they cant break them up again off screen because of those unreleased s4 episodes. (not to mention the other parts of the audience who arent as invested in mac’s love life would probably be very confused.)

Secondly Mac has to be the one to pull the plug, not Desi. 4x13 made it seem like Desi was the annoyed one not Mac. He apologised to her which meant he wanted to fix things. 

Thirdly, they are opening the chpt one last time before they permanently close it. MD is going to be a stark contrast to macriley(it already is in every way possible). Every issue Mac and Desi had can be used to show how amazing macriley really is as two people who arent even dating yet.

Fourthly, MD being together is a sort of commentary on Macs mental health as well. We can see how happy he is with Riley but around Desi he becomes some one else. If the writers are doing this on purpose or subconsciously still remains to be seen.

And Yes keeping MD around for a few more episodes seems like a necessary risk right now but I have a feeling its going to be worth it later.

[I know we have had like 4 desi entered episodes already but I really think 5x04 will be the last of it since 5x05 is the Jack episode and 5x06 is Mac+Riley+Bozer episode with no mention of Desi at all!]

The writers know we are a dedicated bunch and they know that once MD breaks up for the last time the entire fandom will be waiting and watching. That's when the show will be at its peak. That will be the perfect moment to bring in MacRiley’s arc to a new start!

Congrats if you stuck with me through this whole thing! if you agree/disgaree with any of these or have other reasons why they could be endgame in s5 let me know!!

#MacGyver #Angus MacGyver #macgyvercbs #Riley davis #macriley #cbs #macxriley #macriley is endgame #otp #wilt bozer #Matilda webber #Lucas till #Tristin Mays #cbsmacgyer #russ taylor #macisback #macgyver season 5

[ablednt]

aren’t u that blog that constantly promotes self dx and bashes professional dx? like self dx is fine but it’s a last resort for people who can’t access prof dx.

I don't bash prof dx, first off. I fully understand and respect people who needed one for any reason.

However self diagnosis should never be treated like a backup for if you can't get a prof dx and here is why:

(Disclaimer: exact details vary by country making this not fully accurate in every country also I am not saying that treatment is bad or that therapists are inherently bad I am currently trying to seek therapy but any good therapist will treat you without a diagnosis if they are aware of the legal consequences of one)

You can and likely will lose your rights for your diagnoses. It's different by country but in the US if your diagnosed with things like DID, Autism, and probs a lot more you won't be allowed to go on HRT if you're trans. You may have your children taken away if you have any, you may be prevented from donating or receiving blood or organs, if you have abusive family members they may be able to put you under a conservatorship (what happened to Britney Spears) etc.

Literally the vast majority of psychologists do not study these disorders! Do you know what they do when they prof dx? THE SAME SHIT PPL WHO SELF DX DO. The dx process is exactly the same but with a professional dx you have someone who doesn't have that thing, who has no actual first hand experiences, listening to you talk about that thing and telling you whether or not they think you have it with literally no input from the community.

By saying every one has to try to be prof dxed before they're allowed to self dx you're saying that people of color should put up with blatant racism because there's so many documented biases.

Also the criteria that therapists use to diagnose is found in the dsm5, have you read it? I have, it says that autistic people cannot take care of themselves that they're prone to self harm bc of their autism and that they should have their needs ignored it uses all the labels that autistic people ask it doesn't. It says that even if an adult fits all the criteria of ADHD that if their parents arent available to say "yeah they sucked at school and were annoying" that you shouldn't diagnose them. The criteria for personality disorders, schizophrenia, and similar are all intentionally vague and/or exclusionary to one highly stereotyped set of symptoms. They literally admitted to trying to make the criteria for DID as specific and exclusive as possible because they wanted to remove it entirely because they believed people dxed with MPD before DID was coined did not deserve treatment.

The field of psychology started historically to abuse people, they were thrown into asylums and literally beaten and subjected to horrible conditions for any presumed mental illness. This actually has not changed very much at all, even in the last century a psychiatrist was caught physically abusing his patients and using the theory he made on DID to force them to keep coming to him for therapy. Psyche wards are notorious for mistreating patients there in every aspect and I've had psyche students tell me they believe that psychologists should have the right to physically harm patients. Children professionally dxed with autism are often physically harmed at school by their teachers, physical restraint is still used and it's killed multiple autistic students.

Children and teens in abusive homes have ableist parents often who may get violent or worsen the abuse or use a dx against them legally to trap them at home. Do you give them a pass for self dx? Except here's the thing you literally don't know who's being abused and who isn't and asking ppl that is really fucked up so you should be accepting all self dx to create a welcoming and safe space for them.

Physciatrists actually misdiagnose more than people mis-self-diagnose. Which isn't a reflection on the psychiatrist as much as the fact that people know their own experiences but they very often can't explain them. An example before I met someone who had OSDD1 and would explain it to me from first hand perspective no one would have ever suspected I had a dissociative disorder and was plural Because the only words I had for my experiences were "everything before a certain date literally wasn't me idk I'm just not the same person I was" "I'm a really good writer because I talk to characters in my head all day and they respond to things even when I'm not trying to think about them and they're real to me somehow idk lol" none of that sounds like DID but I was actually describing memory gaps from switches, internal communication and presence of fictives, etc. The best guest anyone had was depression and an overactive imagination. Self dxing is literally more accurate and accessible because people can look at the community and see the disorder explained from first hand experience.

Historically (but it's still happening in some cases) therapists would literally refuse treatment to anyone who talked to other people with their diagnosis. The case I'm thinking of is people with MPD (the dx that came before DID replaced it) would be refused therapy if they spoke to anyone else with MPD outside of therapy and even forbade them from going to support groups for survivors of incestual abuse because those groups advocated for the rights of people with MPD. To this day therapists often disrespect any and all ND/mentally ill communities because we happen to know our own literal lived experiences better than them.

Oh and prof dxes are often used against people legally so if anyone is in a minority group often targeted by police that potentially puts them in even more danger if they're arrested. Least we forget there's an entire field of study dedicated to criminalizing mental illness.

This isnt even half the reasons but I'm running out of spoons (I can source most of these things but I don't have the spoons so if anyone needs a source just ask)

I'm a firm believer that the need for prof dx not be pushed on everyone when it can have permanent and negative consequences and is no better than a self dx. If someone needs a diagnosis for access to medications, for financial support, or for any other legal reason then it very well may be worth the risk but they need to have the right to understand the consequences and make that decision. Imo it's professional dxes that should be not a last resort perse but it shouldn't even remotely be your first steps, your first steps are find the community and hear their actual lived experiences bc that will be so much clearer than anything a therapist who doesn't experience that thing can explain.

Also why do you care if people self dx? Why does their not having an Official Document saying they have their disorder bother you? I think it's deeply unsettling that you think everyone in the entire world needs YOUR approval to have something.

Jsyk the sentiment that self dx is lesser than prof dx is fostered by our capitalist nt society that's benefiting off of our abuse and systematic oppression so like you're literally helping us stay oppressed with this rhetoric.

If y'all really want to be progressive and anti-capitalist like most of this site does (and should) then that goes for disability justice too. Stop helping our own communities abuse and accept that not everyone has the luxury you apparently had to never be affected by your diagnosis ever.

#long post #outbox #negative #abuse tw #ableism tw #psychiatric ward tw #psych ward tw #police tw #ask to tag #self dx discussion #anyway if you think you personally approve who deserves a self dx then youre disgusting and need to figure something out for that power trip

[legends-live-in-memories]

I Have Too Many Opinions. ep. 1

lmao. i got encouragement to post my opinions on fandom things and now i want to make a miniseries doing just that. so here i am. doing just that.

im putting it under the cut cuz this was 4 whole pages including the disclaimer. yes i put a disclaimer and i explain why.

Anyways, here is the first piece in what inevitably will become fandom info dump, this time on thomas astruc’s writing on miraculous ladybug. but only some of my opinions cuz we would be here all day otherwise.

So… a disclaimer before I begin… 

I do not hate Miraculous: Tales of Ladybug and Chat Noir (yes i'm using their government name). I am quite a fan of the show actually despite its faults. I am also older than the intended audience but was obviously younger when the show first aired which is how my interest was piqued (the fact that its been 6 years and only 3 seasons says more about the show than me being a fan for that amount of time but also i never want to rush content creators cuz they're doing their best) and due to my age, there will be inherent bias in my approach of what i'm about to say as there is in EVERY opinion. The fact that it is an opinion should imply the presence of bias but most people tend to lack the critical thinking skills required to draw that conclusion ANYWAYS…

If I did hate the show I would not have this blog nor would I be even writing this because i tend to not give more than 2 seconds of thought to things i actively dislike (some of yall should give this a try) and i'm allowed to like things that are designed for an audience that i was originally a part of but grew out of. (I don't suddenly stop liking things because I'm older despite what many younger fans seem to believe about older audiences. I also don't need to be ‘allowed’ to do anything cuz i wasn't asking for permission anyways.)

This will not be character bashing, astruc bashing nor fandom bashing cuz, again, that would imply i hate any of those elements and if i did, i would not dedicate brainpower to them. Analyses and criticisms of media are fun and engaging and required if you wish to produce good enjoyable content. Now most of this should be already assumed and self-explanatory but people on the internet like to play morality roulette roll dice on purity culture and I rather have documentation that I am in fact not bullying fictional 14 year olds or a grown man. But alas, people get trigger happy whenever someone has less than 1000000% positive opinions on something they like and will throw out words they can't define (gaslight, baiting, toxic, problematic, gatekeep etc) in an attempt to defend their blind devotion, 

which is not needed, if you like something you never have to defend it, even if i don't like it. If you respond to anything I post saying you disagree with me, I will not argue with you. I won't debate back and forth and try to convince you that the things you like are wrong. Unless you are being absolutely tone deaf to what i'm saying, you wont get a negative reaction from me. So don't try to fish for a fight. Please. I got metaphorical hands for days and I'm mean, you don't want me hurting your feelings on the internet. Do yourself the favour. Difference of opinion is how we get diversification in media and is inherently a good thing. Now that that's out of the way, please don't ever let me have to say that again. I beg.

Now onto the fun stuff

I didn't know what I wanted as a first topic so my trusty internet friend @moonlitceleste suggested astruc’s writing… 

AND BOI do i got some opinions on ole tommy boi. Again I don't hate the dude. In fact, he has worked on a few shows that had defined my childhood, including but not limited to W.I.T.C.H. (all eps available on youtube for those interested, 2 seasons, general fun time all around).

So I don't think he’s scum of the earth but I do think his approach to writing mlb specifically has more misses than hits.

The first big miss is that he has no idea how to write 14 year old girls. At all. Almost every girl he has ever written feels like some terrible archetype built entirely for marketability and childish projection and pubescent self-insert (kind of). He has never been a 14 year old girl. I have. In fact when the show first aired, I WAS around the (assumed) age of the mlb characters. The behaviour he passes off as quirky or awkward or just the character’s genuine personality tend to perpetuate harmful stereotypes of teen girls found in the media and are never actually addressed as harmful. they just get swept under the rug. Marinette’s exuberant collage of teen heart throb model boi Adrien Agreste and her very painful almost fan worship she has of him (which flip flops like a paper sandal in the rain) being portrayed as a cute school girl crush uwu, Chloe being the y7 Regina George, Alya being the token best friend of colour with her ‘sassy’ personality (i want y'all to imagine me eyerolling so hard i bust a vessel in my eye), Kagami being the very damaging Perfect Asian Child stereotype. And before y'all get on your dusty soap box and defend going on about “BUT IT'S FOR CHILDREN”,,,, know this.

 i don’t give a solid fuck. 

Not one. 

Children arent stupid. Children are always going to remember the richy bitchy blonde who bullies the art kid, and the big kid, and the shy kid, and the non white kids, and was only nice to her equally rich white friend who she probably had a crush on or was only ever civil to her equally white lapdog. They're going to remember the half asian girl who was never allowed to actually be asian or the only black girl who existed solely as a soundboard for enabling bad habits or chastising the main character for the same habits she enables in the first place (boi aint THAT a topic for later). Like do i really need to explain that alya chastising marinette for taking max’s spot in gamer just to play with adrien rings absolutely hollow when she actively encourages her to sabotage the contest she’s in just so Kagami doesn't win?? Like I don't have to explain that right?? Again kids arent stupid and its quite something that Mari gets chastised for proving herself the best video game player regardless of her intentions just cuz it comes at the expense of max’s feelings/ego but is actively encouraged to sabotage not only kagami but herself by extension cuz kagami is ‘competition.’ Adrien is not a trophy to be won. And no I don't expect 14 yrs old to be perfect and to always make good decisions but these decisions are never addressed as being bad decisions. they get swept under the rug cuz those decisions were necessary for the ‘plot’ but astruc can barely keep characterization consistent and his characters suffer for it and it's the same children you preach are watching it that suffer as well. Cuz guess what? I KNOW 14 yr olds aren't like that cuz i've been there done that (this is the last time i'm saying that i promise) so I know astruc is just metaphorically throwing darts to figure out who says and does what without consideration for pre established personalities to drive the stalemate plot along. The same kids you say are watching this don't know that that's not how preteens work and will absorb and internalize those dynamics like baking soda and vinegar. Cata-fucking-strophically. 

And I haven't even gotten to the boys yet. Which honestly doesn't require much explanation anyways cuz they suffer the same fate as the girls. Tired archetypes with nothing to give them life. Nino falls into Adrien’s person of colour token best friend who dates the female lead’s person of colour token best friend so they can have cute double dates uwu. Except the plot goes nowhere and we have no inclination of romantic development beyond moments that only act to actively convince me to anti ship the lovesquare (i don't want to do that so i self indulge in fanon that actually cares about the characters and plot. may i interest you in True Sight on AO3?). Max is the residential nerd but it doesn't matter (cuz he and everyone are dumbed down for the sake of ‘plot’), kim is the sports jock (which interestingly subverts the asian comedic relief stereotype but only barely) and luka is cute older guy ™ that wears black nail polish and is in a band. The point of all this is to say there is no depth in the characters. It's especially blatantly obvious with the characters astruc doesn't like (chloe). Again, it being a show for kids is not an excuse to be absolved of putting effort into the characters you make.

This is one of the biggest misses astruc has. I haven't even gone into all the nuances of this particular miss. And i havent gone into how that works against him in the plot either. Mostly because the plot itself hasn't gone anywhere and partially because I wanted to go into the plot (or lack thereof) separately as its own miss. 

AND BOI is it a miss. 

SO home boy astruc wanted to reap the benefits of a serial show with ‘engaging’ plot without putting in any of the work to make a linear storyline and relying on the episodic format for, again, marketability. You can't have the best of both worlds, you are not Avatar: The Last Airbender. Which btw has a lot less episodes and a desired end goal that didn't involve top dollar. Legend of Korra did but that's not the point and it had its failings with that too. I challenge you, tell me how many episodes actually contribute towards a plot point or introduce new thematic elements to the show? Can you name them? I can and I'm going to include the plot points that moved the story in some direction if only temporarily. Yes only temporarily for some of these and i will explain later. (if you're in the server you already saw this list *wink*)

25/26. Origins- self explanatory, the beginning of the story, 

24. Volpina- introduction of the grimoire and Master Fu (kind of) and no, Lila is not a plot point,

28. The Collector- proper introduction of Master Fu,

37. Sapotis- introduction of Rena Rouge,

41. Syren- introduction of new aquatic power ups,

44. Anansi- introduction of Carapace,

47. Frozer- introduction of new ice power ups,

48/49. Style Queen- introduction of Queen Bee,

51/52. Heroes’ Day- introduction of Mayura and mass akumatization,

66. Startrain- introduction of Pegasus,

67. Kwami Buster- Marinette wears multiple miraculouses,

68. Feast- backstory as to how the miraculouses were lost,

69. Ikari Gozen- introduction of Ryuko,

70. Timetagger- introduction of Bunnyx,

71. Party Crasher- introduction of Roi Singe and Viperion,

73. Chat Blanc- alternate timeline that essentially means nothing but got a reaction out of fans anyways (myself included)

 77/78. Love Eater/Battle of Miraculous- Marinette becomes guardian and other heroes lose their miraculous,

New York Special- other heroes exist and there is an American miraculous box,

That's 21 episodes. 21 out of a heaping 78 plus 2 specials. Everything else was just your typical akuma of the day episode and everything that happened outside that had no lasting consequences on the plot thanks to the miraculous status quo. Was it entertaining to watch Lila stir the plot of the class dynamic? Hell yeah. Too bad it meant nothing by the end of the episode cuz we were struck with miraculous status quo. She literally doesn't appear again until Heroes Day. that is from episodes 25 all the way to 51, she means nothing and yet she is treated with the severity of a b-villain/rival thing. She means nothing by the end of Volpina if I'm being honest. She is only relevant for 20 mins of episode time she’s in then it's back to magic status quo that undoes any shift in dynamics and relationships. It's like Spongebob who can't get his driver’s license. The worst part is I actually like Lila and I wish the story treated her with the seriousness we as an audience are expected to treat her with. Despite being painfully inconsequential by the end of each of the 3?? 4?? episodes she’s in, it's entertaining to watch a character create drama just because. 

Too bad it means nothing.

Astruc is constantly building up suspense to something ‘important’ only for it to not deliver and fans are constantly having the rug pulled out from under us. Oblivio teased us with a reveal only that gets undone cuz memory akuma. Chat Blanc teased us with romantic development but that gets undone cuz time travel bullshit. Feast introduced more miraculous lore and the history of the guardians but that means nothing by the next episode or ever (i'm not including any reference to the season 4 trailer cuz i've been around the block a few times and im familiar with this lil dancy dance). Heroes Day teased us with a possible future team of heroes but that gets undone in Battle of Miraculous cuz ????? why?? (here's why; astruc was having a jolly ole time letting us know how irredeemable Chloe is at the expense of shooting his own stagnant plot in the foot. Again, discussion for later.)

Too bad anything that slightly swerves off course from the akuma of the day gets undone or ignored. Too bad nothing has any lasting consequence. I mean, if anything did, the episodes would have had a consistent order and release schedule so im not scrambling to watch the leaked ep in Portuguese or something while the french dub is two episodes behind while the english version hasnt even been dubbed. I really wonder how he plans to conclude the show when he’s so afraid to step out of the corner he painted himself in.

Again, not going into nuances. If you want you can ask for more specifics (i doubt anyone would) but this is really just a slightly detailed general overview of my opinions on astruc’s writing. 

I was going to include another miss in his approach to this show but imma save that for another time. 

How’s that for a ‘first’ post?

#mlb #opinions my guy opinions #i dont wanna tag this as salt #but mlb criticisms and analyses #IHTMO #the hashtag for this series #thomas astruc #miraculous fandom #miraculous ladybug #miraculous: tales of ladybug and cat noir #yes the government name again #come get yall juice #miraculous

[sophiewritesworld]

Stalker, stalker - Montgomery de la Cruz

Requested by @bbbbbbb1111111112  : Heyyyy, can you do a Monty Imagine where the reader and him arent dating but he loves her and his Friends are calling him stalkerish and obsessed.The End is your choice ❤️🙏

Pairing : Montgomery x Reader

A/N: I am sorry for the loooooong delay ! Hope you like it ! 

(gif not mine)

“You know your obsession for her is concerning?” It wasn’t a question. It was statement. Something Montgomery had been hearing a lot lately. This time it was Zach who spoke, tired of seeing him replaying your Instastory over and over again during lunch break. “Why don’t you just ask her out, dude?” He added.

Groaning, Montgomery simply shoved his phone in his jeans pocket and glared at his friend. “Shut up, Dempsey.” When he would start an argument on a good day, a fight on a normal day, this time he didn’t say much because he knew Zach was right. Everybody was right. He was slowly turning into a stalker, just like Joe Goldberg from YOU - Scott’s comparison, not his - and it was beyond concerning. But he couldn’t help it and it terrified him. Hell, he didn’t even know when this whole obsession thing started.

Maybe it was the day you accidentally bumped into him while headed to your locker, excusing yourself more than once as he helped you gather the books you dropped. “I was so into my book that I didn’t see you. I am sorry.” You said one last time before giving him a small smile and leaving. He remained silent the whole time, not able to say a word or remove his eyes from you. How come he never paid attention to you before ?

Or maybe it was the day he gave you a ride home when you got caught under the heavy rain after school a few weeks back. That day, you talked for the first time. An unexpectedly smooth conversation with a joke here and there that made you laugh. Yeah, your laugh was probably the beginning of all of this. Day after day, he found himself thinking of you more than he should, seeking to at least see you from afar, taking any opportunity that came his way to talk to you even for a second.

“What’s holding you from asking her out, Monty?” Scott asked, pulling the jock out of his thoughts.

“Ask who out?” Montgomery’s head snapped up to meet your smiling figure standing by their table. It was enough to make his heart beat faster, he was certain that if you got any closer to him, it was either going to stop beating at all or you could hear it. He tried to speak but no sound came out of his mouth. “None of my business, sorry.”

“Monty has this huge crush on this amazing girl, but he doesn’t know how to tell her.” Jeff grinned, eyes darting between you and Montgomery who was getting more and more embarrassed as Jeff spoke. “Could you maybe help him out with this? Ya know since you’re a girl and stuff…”

“Thanks for noticing I am girl, Atkins.”

“You’re very welcome, (Y/L/N).”

The first bell rang making all the boys, minus Montgomery, jump from their seats and head to their afternoon classes. “Are you okay?” You asked sitting next to him. The simple feeling of you being so close to him made him weak in the knees. Jesus, what was going on with him? Not a time in his whole entire existence a girl made him feel that way.

Sighing, he didn’t dare to look at you. “I don’t know…”

“Is it about the girl Jeff mentioned?”

“Yeah…” Wait did he just confirm the fact that he had a gigantic crush on you? Technically you didn’t know it was you Jeff was talking about. “Don’t you have class now?”

Smiling, you tilted your head to the side.  “Are you trying to avoid this conversation, Mont?” This right there. ‘Mont’ nobody else called him that way but you and it made him smile whenever you did.

“Maybe…”

“I think you should tell her.”

“It’s not that easy.”

“Why so?”

“(Y/N) you know why.” He said still not looking at you, a bit of a shame coating his tone.

“I don’t know, enlighten me, please.” Maybe Montgomery didn’t have the best reputation. He was a hothead who got into more fights than all the boys around Evergreen ever did, and he certainly got into fights with all the boys from Evergreen. He didn’t do relationships, he was the one night-stand kind of guy who flirted with all the girls in Liberty, probably slept with more than half of them. “Let me tell you what I know.” You started listing everything good you noticed about him, from his loyalty to his friends to his dedication to baseball and football, how hard he worked to become captain of the team instead of Bryce. Speaking of the devil, you didn’t forget to mention that you saw him stand for many girls his former friend harassed whether it was at school or outside school. “That’s the Montgomery I got to know for the past… what? Two months.”

“And a half.” He added with a smile.

“Right, two months and a half.” You smiled before quickly kissing his cheek and adding. “Take your chances, stop hesitating.” Before he could react, you were out of his sight, sprinting towards your literature class. His fingers went to touch where your lips were seconds ago, still not sure if he was dreaming or not. Maybe he should take his chances with you, after all, you saw what nobody else did. As he walked out the cafeteria, he quickly typed a text message and hit send before shoving his phone back into his pocket. Seconds later, yours buzzed under the table while Mrs. Green was speaking about post war literature to which you didn’t pay much attention.

Are you free tonight ? - M

#montgomery de la cruz #montgomery de la cruz imagine #montgomery de la cruz x reader #monty de la cruz #reader insert #13 reasons why

[eden-dum]

Hakdkskdkd heres some asks bestie 😩

18. 3 dream jobs you’ve had in your childhood

13. 3 classes you used to hate in middle school

8. 3 tv shows that you never get bored of

2. 3 movies you have rewatched many times

33. 3 scented candles that you love the most

4. 3 topics you’d love to learn more about

18 – 3 dream jobs you’ve had in your childhood

doctor: this is very much still my dream job, there's not much to be said. it's just perfect.

architect: idk where this came from, but at this point i'm not so much into it. i think i'd just opt for eventually building my own house, that'd be quite enough for me

urban designer: i really always just liked the aesthetic of creating a city, never so much the technicalities so this was never serious, but i still find urban designing really cool

13 – 3 classes you used to hate in middle school

sports: i don't even think i have to explain :D i regularly(-ish) do workouts at home and i enjoy them, so i don't hate sports in itself but school sports sucks hardcore

art: idek why T-T everyone always tells me i'm good at art, it's just cus they're worse (lol), but i don't like art cus i subconsciously compare myself with my sister, who is better lmao (@stingrayizzy)

german: for the record these arent restricted to middle school cus i've never worked with that system, but german is so dry and boring and just ew :D

8 – 3 tv shows that you never get bored of

can't really answer cus i'm not a big tv show person lol

2 – 3 movies you have rewatched many times

1917: my sister had to write an essay (i wrote half of it *hair flip*), so we had to rewatch it a million times, even the music is hard to listen to now lmaooo, i still love it though (both film and music), so i don't mind

luca: my little sister loves luca smooca and i do too, so we just sit down and ... watch it. over n over again

tangled: .... and i cry every single time <3

33 – 3 scented candles that you love the most

vanilla: super basic, but it's legit

eucalyptus: honestly idk if it was eucalyptus, but it was green and smelled nice

honey: again, i think, i'm not sure it was honey, but it gave off the vibes. and it was pretty.

4 – 3 topics you’d love to learn more about

greek mythology: i know, i know, i literally have a blog dedicated to it, but i could spend forever just reading about greek mythology, even the smallest details

medicine: human anatomy is very cool, i don't think i could ever get tired of it

poetry: not necessarily a 'topic' but i could read poetry foreverrr

[barryjeanblues]

taako meets death (again)

(also posted to my ao3)

taako has met two raven queens in his life before now.

well, close enough, at least. most - though not all - of the worlds the starblaster had traveled to had gods, and surprisingly enough, those gods were usually - though not always - strikingly similar to their homeworlds gods. (this was useful, because one of the crews number relied very heavily on a certain nature god for his magic. luckily, the nature or life god of each world always seemed to have a soft spot for little old merle, even if they werent merles traditional cloven-hoofed pan.)

twice, taako had met the death god - someone equivalent to faeruns raven queen. 

this had led to taakos understandable trepidation upon kravitz finally putting his foot down and insisting taako meet his mother boss. 

the first time taako had met a raven queen, she had been… overwhelming. the light of creation had fallen into a forest dedicated to her and her followers, and the head acolyte refused to give the wandering crew the light unless they first received permission from the queen.

the crew had agreed, with no other option, bracing themselves to firmly explain the direness of the situation. surely a goddess would be intelligent enough to understand. 

that raven queen had burst into a forest cleaning in an explosion of black feathers, half illusion, half steel, so that when lup brushed the smoky feathers from her eyes they blurred and dissipated, but when magnus tried the same thing he yelped and brought his hand back bleeding. 

that raven queens laughter had been eerie and echoing, almost but not quite mocking, almost but not quite infectious, almost but not quite joyous. the crew had stood firm and offered their argument, and the queen had given them tests and tokens and bargains and tricky promises with too many clauses and loopholes and at the end of it all the ipres numbers had been halved and the rest were weary and worn as they caught the light of creation and fled with only minutes to spare, the faelike laughter of death following them terribly even through the overwhelming cacophony of the hungers assault. 

that laughter had trailed after them longer, if only in their heads. taako would be making stir fry, planning outfits, swapping merles shampoo for hair-loss potions, when hed have to sit down suddenly and breathe through the musical trills of the raven queens cruel pleasure. it had seemed to bounce in his head the way a rubber ball might, ricocheting off thoughts and feelings until it rolled under a couch to be forgotten about, till some slight movement sent it rolling and bouncing about once more. 

davenport had died in an illusion, thinking he was saving his crew. poor merle had been choked by his own plants, betrayal writ across hos face. barrys skin had grown sickly purple with poison - ten to one odds arent very good odds. taako doesnt forget easily. he decides the goddess of death can go fuck herself. 

the second raven queen taako had met much later in their journey, and taako had met her alone. 

lup and barry had become liches a few cycles back. it was something taako had still been coming to terms with. 

taako loves lup. this is an immutable fact of any and every universe. taako loves lup and lup loves taako and not death or memory or space can separate them, not for long. but seeing your sister die, and then… go beyond death, to twist herself and latch on to a chance that she may never return except in madness and spite - thats a hard thing to grasp, even when she succeeds. taako had still found himself shivering when his sister forgot she had a body again and grabbed a hot pan off the stove, crying out in pain. taako still woke sweating from nightmares in which his sister and his friend flew apart and reformed as cackling red robed horrors of insanity and cruelty, too far for him to reach. 

until that cycle, though, barry and lups choice had only been an asset. 

but some raven queens do not take kindly to anything they see as a perversion of their domain. 

barely a week into that cycle, taako had awoken from the guilty non-elven pleasure of a nap only to find himself in some cold, hard court, fashioned seemingly of steel and silver and concrete, onyx lining the floor and the only color coming from sparse sapphires sparkled throughout the long echoing hall. 

at the end of it - and taako had known his eyes must have played tricks on him, because at first the being at the end of the hall seemed, while large, not much larger than a giant, but when hed called a nervous greeting his voice had echoed so awfully he knew the hall stretched much farther than hed thought and the goddess at the end of it must have been unimaginably huge. 

her eyes had glinted a flinty sapphire in her carven steel face when she ordered him to defend the existence of his sister and his sisters lover. 

taako had tried. he truly, truly had. but while taako is a being of preservation and caution, full of intelligence and cleverness, he is not one of cold hard logic. perhaps lucretia could have convinced this raven queen, the only of their number who had ever been able to grasp true hard reason… but taako doubts it. he had doubted it then and he doubts it even more these days. 

the point is, taako, for all his love for his family and his brilliant wit and devotion (probably, in fact, because of it) taakos arguments couldnt convince that raven queen. she saw past his genuine belief that lup and barry had made a good decision, and into his fears for her, and the goddess of death had based her own argument on those. she won. taako never had a chance. 

he, lup, and barry had woken up in the next cycle, newly resurrected. taako never stops feeling guilty about it. 

so. yes. 

taako is more than a little nervous about meeting the goddess his boyfriend serves so devotedly. but, and youd be hard pressed to convince him to admit it, taako would do anything for kravitz. and despite it all he does actually want to see what the deal is with his sister and his best friends boss, and his patron gods… friend? lover? girlfriend? taako isnt quite sure what fate and death are to each other, but its definitely something.

kravitz lays a warm hand on taakos shoulder, but taako squares them up. he can do this, for fucks sake - hes died a shitton of times, he can meet death. 

the doors open and taakos breath - the only breath in this realm of the dead - catches in his throat.

taako is a die hard istus fan, and shell always be his goddess. but if taako wasnt a taken elf, hed follow the raven queen, he realizes with a startle.

shes beautiful, yes. shes gorgeous, and taakos always been weak for beauty, but hers isnt the cold hard beauty of gemstones and gold, thinks his nimble fingers snatch up and hoard in his endless pockets. the raven queen is beautiful in a way that taako cant describe as anything other than simple.

he cant pin down any features. she has a kind face, gentle hands, bright eyes, but taako can tell she is a goddess because despite staying still the image of her flicks and shifts in his head. at once she seems to have every kind face hes ever seen, even if he doesnt recognize anyone. her hands reach out to comfort him - no more than comfort - but she stands without moving in front of taako and kravitz. her eyes glitter and sparkle and crinkle up with cheerful laughter, except taako isnt entirely sure she has eyes at all, or maybe she has too many. 

he thinks… he thinks maybe she has wings, or maybe theyre arms, or maybe theyre black fabric, draped around and behind and below and above her, shifting with the last breaths of every mortal in the universe. its darkness but its not scary, taako realizes, its solacing, healing, the way that he feels when dusk passes to night and the sky is huge and warm and the brush of lups hand against his as she says goodbye for the night is a relief and a love. 

hello, taako, death says. its lovely to meet you. 

she means it, taako knows. he can tell, somehow. shes just happy to meet him. nothing more, nothing less. 

'oh,' taako says aloud, and kravitz laughs his quiet sweet dorky laugh, and the raven queen laughs too, and its just that. its just a laugh, and its a nice one.

'oh indeed,' kravitz says. 'taako, did you really think id serve a monster or a cruel master?'

'well,' taako replies hesitantly, 'honestly, homie, i kind of thought you were, and id, like, have to start some quest to slay death itself and rescue you.'

the anthropomorphic personification of death laughs again, a note of delight in her tender voice. i like him, my kravitz, she says, good job.

kravitz does the dead-reaper equivalent of blushing. taako grins a little because its very cute. 

'death is different here,' taako hums. 'its… it wasnt like this anywhere else i went. it was cold, or cruel, or empty. i dunno why its different in your world.'

'then i guess we're the lucky ones, huh?' kravitz asks. taako leans up against him and murmurs an agreement. 'its why i love my job so much, why it means so much to me. its not that im some hardass, i just…'

'yea, cha'boy gets it now,' assures taako. 'still.' he looks at the ever-shifting, ever-stable face of death again. 'you better treat my boy kravitz and my lady istus well, capiche? or we will have issues.'

its a deal, taako, the raven queen says, smiling. 

when taako opens his eyes, hes in his home in the material plane, and kravitz is next to him, and theyre both smiling. 

#this is unedited and also i wrote it at 4am #taako #kravitz #taakitz #the raven queen #taz balance #the adventure zone balance #fanfiction #death tw #trigger warning for death because it is a fic about the goddess of death #and also taako mentions some times that they died before story and song (so they dont count) #m text #fic #text #ask to tag #o shit yea and its lowkey lowkey inspired by gaimans death because i like the idea of a nice death

[let-it-show]

holy crap it’s been a year

A year ago today I said "gee, I think I'll go see Frozen 2". At the time I wasn't a fan of the first, which I had been forced to see once, and I thought the trailer looked adventurous and neat.

I had no CLUE I was about the set off a pretty intense fixation/obsession and fall ass over tits into creating fic, art, random ass thoughts, buy the hell out of merch, and start talking to a bunch of new people.

I honestly didn't even think I'd end up in another fandom. Why, I don't know, the one before this I'd become half dedicated to and thought maybe I didn't have that energy anymore. But at the time, I LOVED Frozen 2. The songs, the gorgeous animation, the spirits, it just all consumed me. I didn't like that Anna and Elsa separated though and something was nagging at my mind about them. Three days after I saw the movie I made this tumblr because I needed SOMEWHERE to direct and also feed my thoughts. I rewatched the first one and realized hey, I actually rather liked it, though when you get to do that at your own pace on your own couch with a kitty in your lap, it makes a difference xD I started reading more. The year started, I became aware of how much fans of the first hated the 2nd. I saw lots of Elsanna and went "gee I don't know, incest, hmmm, I think I like them better as sisters who are soulmates and life partners but don't bang". Buuuuut as you can all see that consumed me HARD LOL my god i eat Elsanna porn for breakfast.

Anyway I had started with the purpose of being quiet and making fan content and figured it may be best if I didn't talk to anyone because I...didn't want to be obnoxious. Heh. Idk. I think I dropped a couple asks but thought I should be good and keep to myself so I didn't reach out much when I started off but I started getting braver and now I have met MANY lovely people. Honestly I really like almost everyone I've talked to here.

I also wanted to stay out of ANY fandom drama, that shit gets tiresome, been there, done that, but I guess when you have discussions or hell get caught on an off day it gets unavoidable to get caught up. I like to talk about all of Frozen at this point so opinions and analysis are going to lead to things sometimes. Luckily people on different sides of different opinions have been fun to talk to and I find a lot of people seem to be good people when you talk to them independently and they aren't fired up in a social media fight xD

The only realy bad point I've experienced at all is being labeled as a racist by someone who doesn't even know me and yea, admittedly when I have too much time to think, that comes to my head and beats me up. It's not a good thing to have attached to your name especially when you arent one and don't post/contribute to racist rhetoric. But it's enough that I find myself feeling isolated from the contests that go on and such....looking at the friend and social groups on here, and who has blocked me for this thing attached to my name, well, it affects people. It really does, and it gets me down and has made me wonder if I should quietly close up and go.

Luckily for these days I have a few people to help me pull out of it and keep on going, because if it weren't for my involvement in fandom and having SOMETHING to distract me and bounce around about, I think I'd be handling 2020 a lot worse.

Which, to end this on a good note, this has definitely helped this mess of a year. I work in a grocery store as an essential worker and it's not nearly as taxxing or important as say, NURSES! but we're still out there in this mess and still part of it. My work family helps so much too, but on top of that it's really fun to be into something THEY know as well - in the past it's been anime or just obscure shit but Frozen? They know Frozen, and it makes shit fun. And this has even built a stronger bond with my best friend, my Anna and I. We both were hit hard by Frozen 2, and people roll their eyes at The Next Right Thing but that became such an important message to my friend. We had a Frozen party in February, we've got our own 'Arendelle symbols'... xD

Anyway thank you fandom for letting me be here and have fun in this space, and thank you to wonderful friends I've made here. I can't wait to add more content :3

#Elsanna fandom #just rambling